Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 478- Zombieland (2009)
Episode Date: June 3, 2024In this week's episode, we're living through yet another zombie apocalypse with the 2009 horror comedy "Zombieland." Special topics for your consideration include: a fitting tribute to an American tre...asure, controversial takes on snack cakes, our feelings on Columbus (both the city and the person), keeping up one's everyday makeup routine during the apocalypse, and the delights of Woody Harrelson. Zombies! We've covered so many zombie movies that I can't list them all here, so maybe just go scope out "Return of the Living Dead" (Episode 17) and "Return of the Return of the Living Dead" (Episode 339) where I thought it was possible that maybe I was too hard on it the first time, so we gave it another go. The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance where you can listen to nearly 50 episodes of our action movie podcast with a new one coming every month. It's "National Treasure" month and no one is more excited than Allen! leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at werewolfambulance@gmail.com we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.  If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Katie, welcome to Zambioland.
Oh boy.
It's a land where you can be a weird gamer boy and still get the girl to you.
the girl.
Oh boy.
It's a land where you can be a weird gamer boy and still get the girl to Zombi Land. Oh boy. It's a land where you can be a weird gamer boy
and still get the girl at the end of the movie.
But only if there is only one woman of sexual age.
I'm so glad she was in here and not just her sister.
Her 12-year-old sister? Yeah.
It would have been a much darker movie. Yeah.
I mean, to talk about darkness. It opens been a much darker movie. Yeah. I mean to talk
about darkness. It opens with a voiceover from Jesse Eisenberg's character, Columbus.
Columbus. Saying that you can't have a country without people and then
there's just like shit burning in front of the Capitol and I was like, my oh my!
how far we've come.
The Halcyon days of 2009 when we thought that that wouldn't really happen.
When I can't show you actual footage of that happening.
Yeah.
Oh my god, United States of Zambiland.
The zombies look fucking great.
Yeah.
I love them.
Very fun.
Yeah.
We get his rules for how to survive the zombie apocalypse.
What is rule number one, Katie?
Rule number one is cardio.
Because these are fast zombies.
Yeah, and he says, fatties die first.
The first ones to go were the fatties, that's a literal line.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't like, like, love that.
No, no. Not a big fan. I mean, yeah, not 100% not true. Well, I mean, like, the first ones to go then will be the paraplegics, you know.
Sure, sure.
Second rule, always double tap.
Always double tap. Always double tap, which I strong agree with.
We've talked about this quite a bit in the pantheon of horror movies.
Yeah.
Make sure they're fucking dead. Yeah. Number three is beware of bathrooms which made me so sad. Why?
Love pooping in a bathroom!
I mean, where else is there to poop?
Well, like a monster outdoors.
Ugh.
I hate camping.
There's like, in the scene, a guy sitting on a toilet, and he says, can't a guy
take a dumper in peace? And a zombie like, squiggles under the stall door on the floor, and I thought th thoom th thoom th th thoom th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho-up tho-up tho-up tho-up thu-up thu-up thu-up. thu-up thu-up. thu-up th. th. th. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeee an thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tho on the floor and I thought well this is what having a child is like. I thought you're hitting taking out for
saying dumper. Dumper. Because that's a butt that's not pooping. Yeah it's not
pooping. Yeah, you take a dumper you're taking a butt. You're never saying look at
that dumper someone shooting. Oh look at that dumper. And then we get Rule 4, which involves seatbelts, and a woman driving a van that's dragging
Princess Kid zombies behind her.
And then she goes through the wind-yled and I fucking love it.
This is like the light-hearted version of the opening of that Dawn of the Dead
remake by Zach Snyder.
I cannot remember a thing about that. Yeah.
Just when she's driving through the neighborhood and just like everything is going to shit people
or zombies just running out of houses and taking people out what they water their lawns and stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So yes, then we get the opening credits with for whom the belt holes playing underneath of it. I like that quite a bit. Sure sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. that that that that that that. Sure. Sure. Sure. I that that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So I was watching this at 1.2 speed. And I was like, B-da-ba-ma-no-no-no-1, one on a the song rips! Take a look to the sky! And we see the
sort of montage of these zombie things happening, there's like a wedding,
yeah, and then the strippers boobs. She's...Sumpy stripper is very funny. She's like, ouch, like she's running it all out there.
It hurts me so much to watch.
Just the flappy flappies?
Just the bouncy bouncies.
Yeah, but I do like the idea of like zombie stripper revenge on shitburns.
Hell yeah.
And I was very, I was at first, there's a guy running out behind her and there, and there's like an explosion, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a he just bursting glitter but he was spilling a drink as he was running inside.
Oh yes. And I was like, it would have been funnier if it was glitter. He was getting
a lap dance right before he came outside. He used glitter and lap dances.
This was very annoying. I've never had one. Once someone bought me a lap dance at a strip club, but I was felt very uncomfortable with it so I asked the dancer if we could could the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. I was th. th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was the th. I was th. I was, th. I was, the th. I was, th. I was liked, the th. I was like, th. th. th. th. th. I was like, th. I was like, th. I was like, th. I was like, th. I was like, th. I was like, th. I was like, th. I was like, th. I was like, th. I was like, th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was like, the th. I was like, the the th. I was like, the thi. I was like, the the the the thi. I was like, the thi. I was like, thi. I was like, thi. I was like, the thi. I was like, I felt very uncomfortable with it, so I asked the dancer if we could just sit and talk. And we did till the song ended.
Nice.
Show me pictures of her kid.
I was like, where did you pull that phone from?
Why does that phone smell like?
That was on our Patreon episode.
People don't know that Loom's episode.
People don't know what loom smoked like. Well, sorry, I blew that marketing opportunity.
There's also a firewalk in the credits, which I was like bold, you're just coming out of the gates.
I like it a lot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we get, we cut to Columbus being in Garland, Texas.
Two months into the apocalypse.
Yes, fueling up his car. How is everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything. How????? How? How? How? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. to to to the they? to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I? I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toe. Wea. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I, fueling up his car. Yeah. How? How is everything still running?
Power plants haven't gone down yet? I think that they were just like,
Ah, come on, it'll make it a lot harder to make this movie if we shut down the power plants.
It's true. And like at certain points, they're just listening to the radio and I was like, who's broadcasting? Who is doing this? Seri Series? S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi? thi? thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. thi. thi. the. the. the. tha. the. thi. the. they. they. they're, they're tha. tha. th right. That's satellites. You can't get satellites if you're a zombie. No, no, unless you're a space zombie.
Ooh, we should make that movie.
Space zombies!
Yeah, on the space station?
Yes.
They get hit by a meteorite that has, you're writing it down?
Copyright, copyright.
I'm googling space to see if anyone has made it before us.
Of the force the force the force the force the force the force the force the force the force the force the force the force the force they they the force they they they. Yes. Zombies from outer space. Sure. Teenagers from Mars.
And I don't care.
So we don't care. We don't care.
Yeah. Yeah.
Fuck. So he's getting chased around this gas station because he goes to try to use the
bathroom.
Yeah.
Which is a no-no.
He also just won't shit outside.
No, who does?
When there's a bathroom right. I I I I I I I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they's. they's. th. th. they's. th. th. th. they's. they's. they's. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they's they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they's. th. they's. they's. Yeah. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He also just won't shit outside. No, who does? When there's a bathroom right there.
I mean, yeah, like I would just shit in the trunk of cars and stuff in the apocalypse.
And he's doing this inner monologue about how he's an unlikely survivor, but he's also a lone wolf,
so it's worked out for him.
Yeah, if you're calling yourself a lone wolf, like I don't want anything to do with you. No. Just say you're not a big joiner. He says a lot of things that like yes but we are very social not
big joiners. Oh yeah we're great at this. Yeah we're very good at like yes we like
having friends and like being around people. Yeah I'm just not gonna come to your yoga class you know.
No. I'm just gonna fart that place up and everyone's gonna get mad at me. So he eventually like kills the zombies and shits himself because he doesn't
make it to the turtle in time. Right. And then there's a he's walking on the
highway and a vehicle comes towards him what is painted on the side of this giant SUV?
It's an escalade a black escalate with a white number three painted on the side of this giant SUV? It's an escalade, a black escalade
with a white number three painted on it, like Dale Earnhardt.
Like Dale Earnhard.
I, do you think I liked that?
Oh, I think you loved it.
I loved it.
And it's being driven by Woody Harrelson, who I'm also loved.
Sure. I feel like this movie was written specifically for him, because there's so many thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, liketo like his other work in it. Oh really? Don't you think? I didn't catch any of the other
references. Okay, okay. Is there like a Cheers reference? Yeah, wasn't he like
into snowballs on Cheers? Oh, I don't remember. Okay, I thought maybe I can
think of something else. No, it could very well be. You know I have a garbage memory. And just him like gushing thin. to, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. their, th. th. their, their, their, their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their. I. I. I. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. their., you guys are in Kingpin together. Oh, that's right.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Filmed on and on McKnight Road. There used to be a bowling alley called McKnight Lanez and the opening
the opening scenes are filmed there. Oh, I'm sure, but it was fun. Therethat one scene where the the he's fighting the lady and her boobs start fighting. Oh yeah I like that.
That's funny. Punchy titties is funny. Punchy titties always funny. So they have a standoff
pointing guns at each other and then the the not jointer puts up his thumb like he's hitching a ride and wooded her else. It's like the the the the the the the the the the th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like they. It's like they. It's like they. It's like thi. It's like to thi. It's like to be like to be like to be like to be like to me. It's like to be like th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. I. I's like. I's like. I's like. I's like. I'm. I'm like. I'm. I'm like. I harassable scamp. It's cute. It's gonna be a cute buddy thing. Yeah, I'd never
seen this movie before I didn't know it's getting into a cute buddy thing.
Oh yeah, he calls him a peppy little spitfuck. Yeah, I'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch which I like a lot. And Woody Harrelson has a love of twinkies He's trying to find Twinkies. Yeah.
Because he sees that as the last vestige of humanity or something.
Controversial opinion.
Yeah.
Twinkies are not good.
No.
As a person who loves snacks, sure.
I just think Twinkies are weak.
I think most of those hostess cake things are not good.
I mean, I like like like a snowball because I like
coconut. Sure and and marshmallow. Yeah and I like a Star Crunch. Oh yeah yeah yeah
yeah you've left cake behind on a Star Crunch. I've left yeah cake is gone, cake is out.
Yeah yeah. I used to like the the tasty cake coffee cakes. Tasty cake is gross to me. It always, everything tastes like butterscotch somehow.
It's always very oily.
I think there's a lot of oil involved in a task.
Very oily.
Yeah.
Also, you can't go wrong with a tasklar pie.
I don't know what that is actually.
It's an E-clair pie, but it's in like those little, like you would get like an apple pie and like the tin foil bottom and all that stuff, but it's got tasklair fillings. It's very delicious. That sounds silly. Tasty, Claire. I think I, when you said apple pie, I was picturing one of those like, you know, those rectangular ones that just come in the sort of paper, the like shiny paper, the the the the the the the the th................ It's, the the the the the the tase. It's, taste, taste, taste, the taste, taste, taste, taste, taste, taste, tast. It's taste, taste, tast. It's got tast, tast, tast, tast, tast, t. It's t. It's tast, tast, tast, tast, tast, tast, tast, tast, t... E. E. E. E. E. E.. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. tast. E. tast. E. E. tast. tast. tast. tast. tast. tast. tast. tast. tast., okay, I got you. This has got E. Claire filling in it. Yum, yum. I want to go the gas station after this?
Tasty, Clare!
This is why I miss Brian and Coopers
because they had a great selection of snack cakes.
Yeah, and then when you go try to buy beer
and there's just the weirdest selection of humanity in the bar just a couple of two by fours that they would put a beer on?
I told you about the time I got hit on there on Halloween.
You did, but please retell it.
I was wearing a black strapless dress and I was bending over to get beer out of a cooler
and a man whistled at me and I turned around and I had a full beard because I was dressed as a beard lady and he was like, ah, and he was like, and, eh, it's still. I mean, that's gotta feel nice, right?
I mean, if you're buying beer in a convenience store where they also sell
SpongeBob NASCAR jackets.
The weirdest assortment of shit.
Your life is already upside down.
What do you need sparklers? What do you need a pacifier?
Yeah, that's the only place in Pittsburgh I've ever seen people actually playing dice outside.
Oh yeah.
Now it's like a coffee house and brew pub or something.
Of course it is.
Chentrification.
So you got a limber up before you do things.
That's rule 18.
Yep.
And Woody Harrelson says, you ever seen a lion limber up? And I wanted to be like,
well not to actually, but they do like do like do muscular things before they do their thing.
I've seen cats stretch, you know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And they also do that thing where they unhinged
their jaw before they're going to attack or they're yelling at the birds out the window? Yeah, when their mouths are moving really fast.
That's apparently like they're doing something
to like relax their muscles that they can go attack.
Prude, no.
Yeah.
Cats.
That's cute.
That's cute.
that my cats thinks they're I'll take a snowball over a twinkie.
Oh, one hondo.
Yeah, snowballs are the good stuff.
Even if you just rip off the marshmallow and coconut and leave the cake for nothing's.
Yeah, I think you can do that really.
I would just eat the marshmallow and the cake.
Excuse me, the marshmallow and the coconut.
Yeah, it's leave something out. I'm a keto-acidosis.
So, he has a fear of clowns we learn.
He's not scared to zombies, he's just scared of clowns.
And he also has irritable bowel syndrome and he has to quote,
take the browns to the Super Bowl.
Yeah, gross. I hate that.
I hate everything about this character, everything.
Yeah. He's my point of view character and I can't fucking stand him.
Yeah, I remember when we were talking about this, you were like, how much Jesse Eisenberg?
And I was like, oh, I think he's fine.
And then I was watching this movie like, oh no, I cannot handle this much Jesse
Eisenberg.
He's a Michael Sarah.
And Michael Sarah has like, really fine comedic delivery.
Yes.
Like, he is a really funny guy.
Yeah, yeah.
And Jesse Eisenberg maybe not so much.
No.
No. I think he fancies himself a drama boy.
Oh, I've never seen him in anything serious. He's in like the, it's in, i, i, i, i, i, i, i, i, the, the, i, the, i, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, th, thin, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, th, th, th, th, thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, th, thine, thine, thine, thine, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, 't he in the Facebook movie he plays? Why would I have seen Zuckerberg?
The Facebook movie.
I think he's in one of those Batman movies or something, or maybe he's in a Superman movie.
Yeah, sure I've seen those too.
You know, this high drama superman movies.
Yeah, what are you talking about?
Who knows what I'm talking about? I don't. I do like that he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he th. I do like. I do like. I do like. I do like. I do like. I do like. I do like I do like. I do like. I do like. I do like. I do like. I do like. I that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he. I do like. I do like. I do like. I do like. I do like. I that he that he that he that he th. I th. I th. I th. I do like, he th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi th, because so do I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah, if I get like over-stimulated, it's like I have to go poop.
No, no, I'm nervous.
So we get his quick back story where we learn that he's like a gamer boy who just stays in his basement playing World of Warcraft.
Yep, drinking Code Red Mountain Dew. Yeah. Well, I guess it's his apartment. It's his apartment. And yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's th. Yeah. Yeah. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the th. th. th. Yeah. the th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, well I guess it's his apartment.
It's his apartment.
Yeah.
And his neighbor comes over who is played by Amber Hurd.
Amber Heard.
And she is like, oh man, I got attacked on my way home and I need someone to comfort me.
Is this when he delivers the stuck-up bitch line or is that later in the movie?
I missed that.
I think it might be later in the movie but he's like he's talking about like hot women
and how like they're always unapproachable and I was like is this some
in-sell shit like... Yeah I think he's a proto-in-sel. Yeah, yeah. And it was just like oh this is this is not good. Like this woman is crying, this woman is crying. thrying. thrying. thiiii. thr-like, thr-like, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thr-like, like, like, like, like, thr-like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi. Like, thi. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. th. Like, th. th. Like, th. th. Like, thi. Like, thi. Like, like, like, like, like, like, thi. Like, woman is crying, his neighbor is crying because a man has like frightened her
and tried to bite her and she used her, which is really upsetting.
And in his like internal monologue, all he can think about is tucing her hair behind
her ear.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's so weird and gross.
And like, I've always dreamt of tucking a woman's hair behind her ear and I was like, have you? Have you? Because that sounds like a serial killer thing to say. That is insane. Again, make friends with women. Yeah,
they'll probably let you practice it. Get close enough to where when broaching
that subject it won't be too, hey, hey, hey you modify, uh, do a little thing right here.
There we go, thank you.
Always been a dream of mine.
Anyway, she turns into a super scary zombie.
Yeah, she starts puking all over the place
and shit in the middle of the bed.
I love that.
Isn't that a wrong about that.
Don't at me, don't tell me, I don't care.
Johnny Depp killed my grandmother, and I will never fucking forget it.
All I know is there's almost no situation where I'm coming down on team Johnny Depp,
so if she did shit in the middle of the bed, he probably deserved it. Wait, was it an accidental shit?
No, apparently it was like a vengeful thing.
You change your own fucking sheets, Johnny Depp.
Like it doesn't even really affect you.
Yeah, yeah, no, he's a piece of shit.
Also, shitting in someone's bed is lightly funny.
Abusive, yes, funny too. Sure, sure, sure.
Oh, so yeah, he beats her to death of the lid of the toilet.
You have to be really confident to shit in someone's bed.
Plus the core strength.
What do you mean?
Standing on a bed, you're going to be a little wibbly wobbly.
It's not a water bed, was it?
Also, can you just crouch? Squat, squat and shit. Yeah, but even squatting, that's what I'm talking about core strength. You're squatting and booping at the same time on a bed that's giving you a little
wibbly wobbly? You really have never shit outside, have you?
No, I never have.
I'm gonna keep that.
I'm changing the type.
I'm trying to the-
Never change. But I'm a virgin. So I'm keeping that. I like this new thing. Yeah, I just feel like I can say it.
Yeah, take it back.
I'm taking it back.
Take back my virgin.
You were like, is this your child?
Yeah, I got raw dog.
I would also thank you for breaking me every time.
I would also thank you for my head every time. That was my whole pregnancy, it was just a feeling like people were looking
at me being like, that bitch took it raw. I guarantee you no one thought that except me now
that you put those slots in my head. And the listeners now they see pregnant women. It's a funny thing to have.
Never say it out loud.
Never say it out loud.
But think a funny think.
Oh, think that funny thing.
So, yeah, he beats her death with the lid of the commode.
She's dead now.
I did like when he broke her leg in the door.
I thought that was a very nice effect.
Yeah, with with her with her with her, with her, with her, with her, with her, with her, with her, with her, with, the bone, their, their, their, their, th, th,'s pushing the door. Yeah, and then she like puts a shower curtain overhead that she like spits and tongues and bleeds through. I liked it
a lot. Yeah, you love this Amber Heard zombie. I really liked the scene, yeah.
So cut back, I just have a note that says some in-sell shit. I don't even know what I was referencing at this point. Yeah, just feeling sorry for himself. Because his whole thing seemed to to th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I th. I just like, like, I their th. I just like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I the the the they. I'm, I'm, they. S. S. S. S. S. I'm, they. S. S. S. S. S. S. I. his whole thing seemed to be, all I did was stay in my house and play World Warcraft
and no one would date me. And it's like, but sir? But perhaps that's the message. Yes, that's what I'm hoping is that like
the message is like, you got to get out there and save women's lives in a zombie apocalypse. And then for some inexplicable reason, what th. What th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. he. hea. hea. hea. hea. he. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th apocalypse. And then for some inexplicable reason, though, what to fuck you?
You have to be the second to last man on earth.
And yet, in this scenario, she's still not going from Woody Harrelson.
Yeah, I think I would have taken Woody Harrelson, for sure.
I might have taken dead Bill Murray.
That scene is insane. We have to get to that. Get to it. I do like that Woody Harrison asks him,
you want to feel how hard I can punch,
which is a very funny line.
It's a funny thing to say to somebody you're about to punch.
Yeah.
So do they go to a grocery store to get Twinkies?
Yeah. On the hunt And there's a bunch of fat zombies, and they make some more fat jokes about fat zombies.
Why is this?
Because fat people are funny, right?
We're hilarious.
I don't know.
Yeah, no, we're not.
We're just human beings.
I do like that he plays dueling banjos.
I do like,
well, why did you bother learning banjo if he's going to ruin the banjo?
That's what I thought too.
Why learn the riff if you're going to break the banjo?
But he also says to one of the name in that movie? Blazing Saddles.
No, Deliverance.
Deliverance, right?
Well, then, that's right, you're right.
You're right, right.
When What's his face is being raped, someone says you've got a pretty mouth.
A baby, one of the Bates.
Yeah, one of the, yeah, that a little bit young. Yeah, yeah, I was probably like 12 when I saw that. Why would anyone show a 12-year-old deliverance? I'm still fucked up.
We didn't have proper parental kind.
No, Jesus Christ.
Every time I think I'm doing a bad job as a parent, I'm going to think about how we saw deliverance before we hit puberty.
That's why I tell you constantly how great of a job I think you're doing as a
parent. Thank you. I'm going to wait till she's at least 14 to show her teleference.
Oh sure, to make her sit down and watch deliverance. You're a woman now. Oh you'll be a woman soon
soon enough. If you're anything like me it may take a bit longer.
Same. Same. I still haven't become one. Yeah, well you keep waiting. Oh yeah, I'm holding out.
Seems like they should take other things from the grocery store. They don't. They need no supplies in this world.
No, no, no, everything they have. They're never hungry. They never eat.
So what do they find in the grocery store, but not Twinkies? Emma Stone? Yes. And he says in voice over, someone's ear is in danger of having having their thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to h to h thing thing thing thing to hing to hanger is in th grocery store but not Twinkies. Emma Stone. Yes. And he says in voiceover, someone's ear is in danger of having their hair brushed over it.
Ugh.
Fucking gross.
Disgusting.
Oh, just the cum socks that must have been in that man's picture.
Oh, jeez.
Never cleaned up.
No.
So, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,
they find Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin.
Yeah.
the zombie apocalypse.
You gonna keep doing that smoky eye?
That's, I said the same thing.
I was like, it is so much effort for me to put makeup on
today when I go outside to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to for me to put makeup on today when I go outside to my job.
Who, who has the time?
Who has the inclination?
And this was the smokiest of smoky eyes.
It is full on to the brow.
To the brow.
To the brow.
To the brow.
Yeah.
Take it to the brow.
So they are sisters. Yes. And the little one has been bitten.
Yeah. Yeah, so she's got to shoot the little one. So she's going to use one of their guns to do it.
Mm-hmm. And then... No, she turns on them. It was a setup. It was a setup. It's very funny. I liked it a lot. Uh-huh. Uh- Uh- Uh- Uh- Uh- Uh- Uh- Uh- Uh- Uh- Uh- Uh- Uh- the they they they they they they they's they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they're th th- th th th th th th th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th-s th- th- th- th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their truck. Yeah, they're a dealer in her truck. So they have to go looking, our
boys have to go looking for our new truck. Yes, which they find quickly. They find
a hummer filled with guns. Which to which Woody Harrelson screams, uh, thank God for rednecks? Yeah. Yeah. When we next is where w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w wo their their wo their their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th the door. And this is where a new rule gets added to the rules.
Rule number 32, enjoy the little things.
Enjoy the little things.
And I feel like if our friend Columbus were to actually take that to heart, he would be a much
better human being.
Because just enjoying the little things. like touching grass once in a while.
Touching grass, just like, oh man, I saw a butterfly today and it elated me.
Like, okay, that is taking it a bit far.
It's not fucking anime out here, all right?
It was really cool.
Wait, you're telling me this story cool. I don't see butterflies all the time. I'm happy for you. No, I'm super
so sorry I'm so cynical I can't enjoy a fucking butterfly. I've been trying to be more positive about
things. I'm working on it. I'm happy for you but it's also chafing me a little bit. I know. I'm sorry. Do you think we could start coming up with cons? I mean other than this one that we've been doing for the last 10 years. What's the con?
I don't know.
The longest of cons with no pay off.
If anything, we're conning ourselves.
Yeah, one of us is gonna have to fake cancer at some point, huh?
Is that a good con?
Can we do that?
You have to fake diagnose me?
Oh yeah. Can't, smells like lume, full It smells like loom, full body deodorant.
Roses, sweaty pussy, and cancer.
Is that a good joke?
Put your glasses back on.
Oh, what the fuck?
No, I would be terrible at Connie people.
Oh, I don't have the resistance.
I don't have like the, yeah, I'm a terrible liar. I'm like, yeah, I just couldn't do it.
Hey, do you think it's better to be smart or lucky? Oh smart. Yeah, me too. Yeah, luck isn't real.
No. So, oh yeah, this is where he says uh, he describes, uh, what is it, Wichitae, is that? That's Emma Stone.
He describes her character as not your typical hot, stuck up, bitch.
Oh, wait, who said that?
Jesse Eisner, says that.
Well, I guess the character does.
Sure, it's not him personally.
He's like, yeah, I met other women like that, and she's not your typical, stuck up bitch. And I was just like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I thi, I never thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's that's that's thi, that's thi, thpical stuck up hot stuck up bitch and I was just like
I've never known a person who says stuck up bitch and casual conversation that I've wanted to have another conversation
with. Yeah, I think that's fair. Yeah, you're just you're showing all your cards. Yeah, yeah, you're showing your own pettiness basically.
Yeah, I mean stuck up bitches have rights too. Of course I'm petty as fun. Stuck-up bitches have rights, too.
Of course they do.
Of course we do.
I always say you are, you are not your typical-
I'm not a typical stuck-up bitch.
It's true.
I am a really outgoing bitch.
So we see that the sisters have been running con
since before the apocalypse. They were doing the dropped wedding ring con.
That is a very good con.
And the guy that they con is the guy who was taking a dumper.
It's true.
Yeah.
And those cons where you're like, it's basically a Nigerian print scam, like you give me $10, tho-dozee, and I'll give you a $10,000 and I th, and I tho, and I' and I' and I' $10, and I' $10, and I' $10, and I' $10, and I'm th, and I'm th, and I'm thi and I'm thi, and I'm thi, and I'm thi, and I'm thr-and, and I'll tho, and I'm the the thr-and, and tho, and tho, and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th..... And thr-in, and thr-in, and thr-in, and thi, and thi.. And thi, and thi, and thi. thi. thi. thi. thean, and thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, and throat attitude. That's what I really need in this life.
Do you?
Yes, I do because if I had a cutthroat attitude, I wouldn't feel badly about it.
You know what I mean?
It's just a lack of remorse.
So you're saying you wish you were a sociopath?
Remember that Tesla that we wrote in Detroit when that guy picked up and the a sociopath. And we just stared at each other in the backseat without breaking eye contact for the rest of the ride.
Well, he's just blowing mad cotton
while driving us around Detroit.
Your head couldn't fit in the bag of the Tesla
because you were too tall.
It was very funny.
You just had a cocked to like a 45 degree angle.
We were also suddenly drunk then.
Oh, yeah. We were also suddenly drunk then, because we had like shotgun to beer and drink right before we left the restaurant here on the show?
I mean within four hours I would be vomiting on the streets of Detroit.
Oh man. Everybody wants some.
The soundtrack is movie rules. It does. I definitely want to get into situations where I can just walk into chashki stores and break everything. Oh my god. How good would that have felt. Yeah, it'd be fantastic. This has a lot of my like, th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I th. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I th, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, I th. I, I, I th. I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, th. th. th. th. thi, th. thi, thi. the. thi. I mean, thi. I mean, thi. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, thi. I stores and break everything. Oh my God, how good would that have felt?
Yeah, it'd be fantastic.
This has a lot of my like apocalyptic dreams
of being able to break stuff.
Talk up hair behind a woman's ear.
Ugh.
Uh, I would get cooler clothes.
That would be like one thing that definitely be doing, like, uh, yeah, nice shoes.
to look down on my flip-flops. definitely be doing like yeah yeah nice shoes stealing a lot of nice shoes
did you look down on my flip-flops I just want to see what you had on I was
checking to see your footwear just a little flippy floppy yeah just your
house flip-flops don't you don't ever like slip in those what you mean no
my flip-flips are really slippy no they're like they're they're Tivas so they're like a they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're ttthey're they're ty te tive te te thea te te thea ty they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they a padding on them that like my feet sink into you. Did you get them when you made your donation to NPR this year?
Toat bag and some Tivas.
Maybe.
We also get a flashback of Woody Harrelson's previous life.
Yeah, he's talking about a puppy named Buck.
Yeah, his little puppy that he took care of and when it died he lost all will to exist anymore or
be a good person. Okay, this did not need to be a baby. Like there was no
fucking need for it. No. I was happy just to see Woody Harrelson wearing a Hawaiian print shirt.
Sure, and given a dog a bath, which is always funny. Yeah, I this, there was no need for this at the end. Not that I'm being one of those, not the children, not the children, not the children, not the children, not the children, not the children, not the children, not the children, not the children, not the children, not the children, the children, the children, the children, the children, the children, the children, the children, the thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that, that, that, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th no need for this at the end. Not that I'm being one of those, oh, not the children people, but it's just like,
that was out of left fucking thing.
Yeah, it was a real tone shift that didn't need to have.
Like, we didn't need to like feel worser for him than we already did.
He's in theaken under his wing. Yeah.
Oh my god.
Yep, yep, yep.
So they hook back up with the sisters.
They, they believe that there are no zombies at the amusement park.
Right.
But I don't know why, they're like, I've heard this.
Where have you, where did you hear it?
It's just a lie that she's telling her sister because her sister really, like that was the hapiest she was. So she's taking her there to die? Yeah. Question mark? Okay, that?
Yes, and? Okay. Nelson, maybe this movie is way darker than I gave it credit for. I think
on some level, yes. Like he's a terrible in-cell, she's taking her sister to die. Right. Woody Harrelson lost a son, a son. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. thsa, thia. thia. thia. thia. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. that. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. a sweet baby angel. Oh fuck.
The other girl just doesn't get to give much for personality.
Well, she gets to have her hair tuck behind her ears.
She tells Jesse Eisenberg that Columbus has been burned to the ground.
Yeah. And I thought, well, it's just Ohio.
I have driven into Columbus on a multitude of occasions to see burning couches on the street. Columbus is a city I don't really like.
No character to that place.
Come at me, come at me, Ohio.
I've only really ever been around the college. Yeah, because you were a Buckeyes fan
fan. No, because that's where the punk houses were. And I've been to the Columbus Crew Stadium to see West Ham play.
That I would like to do.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
The riverhounds are too league below.
What the fuck are you bringing up the Riverhounds for?
What are you doing that just to rub it in? Of course, they're not an MLS.
Although they're making plans to expand the stadium to make it large enough to make them into MLS.
Although you need like a billion dollars to buy into the MLS.
It's a billion dollars.
You had to pay Lionel Messies a fucking salary.
Someone's gonna have to do it.
Because that money ain't coming in from ticket sales.
See one messy, seen them all, you know.
He's really amazing at the time. Oh, I know, I know. I read that he is a micro penis.
He's just a little guy.
Probably proportional.
Not that little.
No, fantastic.
I've never seen to play live.
I never will.
It's fine.
Don't be fine.
So, yes, she tells her, she tells him that Columbus is gone
And then we get rule 17 don't be a hero Which will never come back up in the movie. No
Then there's just like a weird cut scene of a nun dropping a piano on a zombie? So that was zombie killed the day. Okay. Which was the none killing a zombie with a piano with a piano? I did like that. I did like that? I was like, how does she get the piano up? the? the? the? the? the? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? the? the? the? the. I? the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. sick way to kill a zombie. I did like that a lot. And it was like, how does she get the piano up there?
Just like one numb?
She's fucking strong.
Yeah.
A system of pullies and wincerees and winches?
Yeah. And the power of her husband.
Our Lord and Savior.
Jesus Christ the Lord. Hmm, doesn't even feel right coming out of my mouth.
So they get to LA and they're going to find a house to stay in.
So they get a star map in front of man's Chinese theater.
Right, right.
And Woody Harrelson says, we're going to the most A-lister of A-Lister's houses.
Yes, and there's the gate says BM, and he says,
it ain't Bob Marley.
Who thought that it was?
Who thought that it was?
Why Bob Marley still have a house there?
How about Bob Marley?
Why?
Why?
Why?
?
It's Bill Murray?
So, they're ato his house and they watch Ghostbusters. He has an Andy Warhol print of himself. Yeah, well, wouldn't he?
You know who else I don't really like Andy Warhol?
And this is a controversial stance.
Is it?
In Pittsburgh?
People fucking jerk that guy off all the time here.
He hated it here.
He hated it here.
He hated it here and he left his name off the bridge, put Josh Gibson's name on. Didn't August Wilson also not like Pittsburgh?
I think August Wilson was also, but I won't say that about him.
Because you get a, do we wait?
I mean, he was a deeper cultural problem.
He was good at his craft.
He was good at his crap.
He's good, yeah.
I also, like, you're pissed on the te- about the bad Pittsburgh attitude and the fact that Pittsburgh insists on naming shit after him. That is such a Pittsburgh thing though. I know.
You're from here, you're stuck here forever. I mean that is true for a lot of
people. You know what they should re-name that bridge for Bruno Say Martino? Oh my
god. The finest Pittsburgh are who ever lived. They need to have people like elbow the bridge tho. th. T th. T th. T th. T. T. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I the th. I the. the. the. the. I the. I tho. I'm tho. I'm thi. the thi. tho. I'm tho. I'm the the tho. I'm the the tho. I the the the the the the the the the the the th. I the th. I the th. I the the the th. I the the the the the th. I th. I thi. I the the thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I the. I the. I'm theea. I'm thea. thea. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I the. I'm the. I a bad scene. Well after the pirates won the wild card game in 2013 a man jumped off the Clemente Bridge and he was fine
so I think if you can go off the Clemente you can go off the any of the
sisters. San Martino. I mean sure he was born in Italy but he's a Pittsburgh
at hard. Just start calling it the San Martino Bridge. I might go to the sa the sie. I might the same the same the same the same the same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same. I the same. I the same. I the same. I the same. I the same. I the same. I'm the same. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I the same. I the same. I the same. I the same. I the same. I the same. I the same. I the same. I the same. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the. I the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm.the signs. I'll just go on the trail. I run under that bridge all the time. I could probably reach the sign or get someone to boost me.
Sure.
I'm six but you know.
Would you boost me?
No, fuck yeah.
All right.
That's what friends are.
Can I took your hair behind her?
Can I took your hair behind her? He's making my skin crawl, which is weird because I just used your inhaler. Like, we are close.
Like, we hug all the time.
But if I just walked up to you, it was like, huh?
Oh, I thought I would instinctively knee you in the groin.
I was hoping through a far-throat punch, but I'll take a knee groin.
I can choke you out pretty quickly.
So we find out that Bill Murray is still in the house, but he's a zombie. On a holy living dead. Yeah.
Except that he's not, and for some reason,
he's fake of the funk in his own home?
Because they leave him alone.
He does it to blend in.
He likes to get out and do stuff.
At least nine holes of the golf course.
No, but just walked right on. Six people th people left in the world, and thu, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thu, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thiiiiii. they's thi. they's like, me two-ish type things that happened.
I mean, men.
Right.
Is Ernie Hudson all we have left?
God, he's jacked.
He's jacked.
You've seen Ernie Hudson? He's so fucking jacked.
I like that he's your type.
Oh my god, with that deep sultry voice. So Woody Harrelson and
Emma Stone have the best time hanging out with Bill Murray. It's really cute. He's so fun,
he's so funny, he's entertaining them. They're smoking weed and listening to Don't Fear the Reaper.
Yeah. He says things like I just saw Eddie Van Halen. He's a zombie. He's a zombie. Because there's thi thi th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So the the the th- I the th-I ha th-I hi. So th-I th-I th-I th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiii. I's thiiiiiii. So thiiii. So thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So zombie now. Because there's this fun little diss of Eddie Van Halen where Bill Murray as a zombie
supposedly looks like any man, Halen, which is funny.
So then Bill Murray gets the stupid idea to go and razz Columbus.
What did they think would happen?
He would just think it was a hilarious jape.
But as you're in a zombie world, a man's pretending to be a zombie, you're gonna shoot him because you've been shooting zombies all day long. So I thought that this was all a gag until he was actually dead. I did like that they asked him if he had any regrets and he said Garfield maybe
Garfield maybe Garfield maybe? Apparently he was not the first pick for this. There was some other actor that was going to be in this role.
And they like dropped out last minute and somebody, maybe Woody Harrelson,
their buds.
Was like, I can try Bill Murray.
Let me get Bill on the horn.
And I remember hearing that years and years ago.
I would love to know who it's supposed to be.
Probably Billy Bob Thortonon. Oh God.
Another bill.
They need another bill this situation.
Bill the Cat from Bloom County.
What?
Do you don't remember the Bloom County comic strip from your local newspapers?
Alan, you've got to stop doing this.
It's fine.
Oh, it's supposed to be Patrick Swayze, but he was battling pancreatic cancer at the time
and was too sick to do it. Oh man. God he would have been great in this room.
I love Suzy.
Yeah.
Poor bastard.
Did I tell you that I watch that new Roadhouse movie and it's unwatchable?
I mean, how are his abs?
Phenominal. Okay, well then it's watchable. Yeah. Hunky boy movie. Connor McGregor is abysible. As an actor? Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah.
Yeah. I think he's taking one too many dingers to the head. You think that maybe getting your head
punched and kicked over and over and over isn't good for you? Huh? No way, Joe Rogan's super smart.
Oh my god, yes. He's just asking the questions. So they have to now dump Bill Murray's body and give him a 21 gun salute.
They really killed Bill Murray.
They killed Bill Murray.
And no one's that upset.
They moved right on from it.
What are you going to do though?
What do you do?
What do you do?
Yeah.
And this is where we learned that Buck was not a puppy but a baby.
And he was also wearing a tiny Hawaiian print shirt,
which got me way more than it should have.
And then Woody Harrelson says,
I haven't cried like that since Titanic,
and wipes his eyes with $100 bills,
why though?
Because he needed to see what the clock tower on the back of the $100 bill. We just reported National Treasure for the action movie podcast for the
Patreon right before this and I think I think we were both fucked.
I think we were both very very fucked.
It's ruined our brains.
I'm not okay.
Yeah, I don't know why that like a comedy beep beep at the end of, like I feel like the kid thing is really weirdly tacked on. It's it it it
it gut punches you for sure yeah yeah well it got punches you but it's also
like the dog thing the dog thing was enough as we said earlier and then to have like a
comedy beat at the end of it of like I haven't cried that hard with a ti.
And then wiping your eyes with hundred dollar bills. I bet you cry that hard after your fucking kid died
Dickhead this is wild. Yeah, yeah, again This is like contradicting my argument this might not be an in-sell movie
Because like it's like tamp down your emotions right is your baby dead tough it out. I would never stop crying about that. I don't think that's awful. No.
Yeah, so Columbus and Wichita get drunk on wine together. Yeah, talking about their
1997's. Yeah. I was like, wow, Emma Stone is the same age as me because I was 13 in 1997. No, she was nine.
She was nine years old. Having her first kiss. Gross. And then like in the, when she's telling him that he, she had her first kiss at this,
and he's like, did he use tongue?
Yes, it's disgusting.
What a disgusting thing to say.
Did he put his finger in your butt?
Wow.
That's what it felt like though.
It's like, describe it to me. Yeah, what a creep. It was like, he. And he's like, he, he, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, describe. th. th. Des. th. th. th. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. th. th. th. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He. He, he. He. He. He. He. He. He, he. He. He, he. He, he. He, he. He. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Des. Describe me and describe me every bit of it. Can you just start doing it now and I'll watch them across the room?
Oh my god. Yeah, what a creep. And then he complains about his 1997. Yeah. Because he always has to be like, woe is me.
And then she, they started dancing because he never had a dance or whatever because somebody wouldn't dance with them. Because somebody wouldn't dance with them. Because somebody wouldn't dance with them. And th. And th. And their their their their their their their their their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the creep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. th. th. their their their the crea. the creep. their their their the Can we stop with that? Only I get to call people
stupid bitches. It doesn't have the same sting when you do it. No. She says to him, you've
got the guts of a guppy, but I could hit that. Yeah. Or at least give you the intentional
walk to first. First of all, it's not an intentional walk. It's just an intentional walk.. If you get walked you go to first. That's what a walk is.
Stupid bitch
What's an unintentional walk to first? Is that a hit? An unintentional walk is when you're like this guy could hit it?
What's an unintentional walk to first is that a hit?
An unintentional walk is when you're like, thi get to that guy and get the last out.
Yeah, I got you, I got you.
Do you?
And then you're like, I could hit it, and she's like, I could hit it.
And then, that's it.
Right.
Uh, I hated this part of this movie.
Yeah, I don't care little bit further, lady. Or you could just fuck Woody Harrelson. I don't know.
He raw dogs, he's had a kid.
He can probably give him the rat that rascal.
They're all sleeping on the floor.
Bill Murray probably has like 80 bedrooms.
Yeah, but they killed him, so they don't want to like just sleep at his beds anymore.
I don't either. So then they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they wake they wake they they wake they wake they they wake they wake they they wake they wake they wake they wake they don't know why they're doing this. I don't either. So then they wake up
to Tallahassee and, or no, Wichita and whatever her sister's city is. Little Rock. Little Rock.
Little Rock are going to the amusement park. They take off in the Hummer and leave Tallahassee
and Columbus behind. And they're having this conversation of like trust no one, just you and me. Yeah, just telling your sister I can't believe I almost kissed that guy. Yes! And her sister's like yeah me
either he's weird. He's really weird. He's always asking you did you tongue
that guy. To this I've written more zombies less cutesy shit. It's a little
overboard on the cutesy shit and there have not been zombies for a while. Yeah. So Tallahassee while. So Tallahassee's like, fine, I'm going to Mexico.
Yeah.
Well, I wouldn't you?
He seems, he's got real Cabo Wabobo vibes.
Cabo Wabobo and needs a twinkie.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So they get to the park, the girls get to the park, and they're turning on turning on turning on their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their together. together. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to drive through a gate, but I want to drive through it hard. Sure. She like just nudges it open.
I would back that motherfucker up as far as the ticket booths.
Greatest love song ever written.
I'm going to back that as up and I'm going to drive it through that gate is at top speed.
It's like, why would you not?
Yeah, well, you might detonate the airbags would be a situation. Fine, there are just a lot of, see that I wouldn't have thought of, and that I'd have killed
my 12-year-old sister.
There are just a lot of things in this movie that make me really want to get my rage out.
Sure.
I'm so full of rage.
I don't know what to do. They still have those rooms where you can't just go and break the rooms, just, just, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, that, that, that, that, that, thi, that, that, tho, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. That, th. That, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, with it. Because I feel like she would get... Oh, yo, you can't go in the same room with some way.
No, no, her blood would go up and then she would become a zombie.
She'd be like, remember when I was 12?
Oh, I was not kind to her when she was 12. Yeah, I was really mean to her. None of us were to Vick, no. to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the the to th. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. No. No. No. No. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. She. th. She. She. She. She to. She was, to. She was to. She was to to to to. She to to to to to to to th. She to th. She was the the th. She was the to the earth. You were 25, you should have been nice to her.
I didn't know Vicomature is 12. All right, good. I did and I was horrible to her.
I'm sorry, Vicki. So we get this hilarious scene where Talaise is going to go to Mexico and
Jesse, or Columbus is going to ride a motorcycle, but hilariously he can't ride a motorcycle. I actually did think that was funny because I was like, it it it it it it it it it it, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was like, I, I was like, I, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, it's so so so so so so so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so stupid, I was like, I'm that's so that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was so much. I was so much that's that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so stupid so stupid so stupid, I was so stupid, I was so stupid, I was so stupid, it's so stupid, it's so stupid, it's so stupid, it's so stupid, it's so stupid, it's so stupid, it's so stupid, I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid,to ride a motorcycle, but hilariously he can't ride a motorcycle.
I actually did think that was funny,
because I was like, it's so stupid
that he would know how to ride this like hog.
And then he just immediately hits the curb and flips it.
And immediately Tallahassee's like,
oh, you've a rascable scamp.
Yeah.
Takes him to off the rides though? Nobody's operating them. I hate it. I hate it. I don't I do like
The only thing I was like are they time? Did they just go down after like two minutes? No
There's like a driver. There's a driver. That bored teenager that's real stoned. They're the one in charge of your fate
Ride Ops. It's so, it's like, especially when they get on the, like, the jumpy thing.
The drop tower, yeah.
It's not a good, it's not a good look.
The whole thing, you know, the idea that she's actually just sacrificing herself and her sister
to the zombies at this place that makes them happy.
Yeah. It makes a lot of sense because she abandons the car, too. Yeah, that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's tha. that's that's tha. that's not. tha. that's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not tha. tha. tha. thi. thi. thi. thoomoomoom. th. thi. thi. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. It's. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. thee. the. It's not. It's not. th. It's car, too. Yeah, yeah. That's the dumbest thing ever. But it makes sense until they get on that drop-y thing and like try to hold themselves
up in the air.
No, it doesn't.
Because they're, she abandons the car.
She has her sister tuck and roll because there are zombies holding onto the roof
of it. at the amusement park. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. And then they, the Tallahassee and Columbus get there and
Columbus immediately runs into a fucking haunted house? Yeah, they weren't in there.
Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't go into a thing that is a maze. Yeah, a maze and full of scary jumpy outy things. Yeah, thiiiiiii. thi thi thin. tho th. Don't. Don't tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thoooooooooooooooooooooooooo th. th. th. th. th. th. tho thooo tho tho tho tho they tho they tho they tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. they. they. they. ta. they. the they. the ta. the the ta. the thea. tha. thato fuck you. You're very stupid. You never leave
your house. No. Uh, uh, la- the ladies are up on the drop tower and they're shooting zombies and
they run out of bullets. Probably because they were wasting ammo earlier. Everybody in this
maybe waste ammo and you know how I feel about that. So much ammo wasting, so much not concerned about finding food.
No.
But I do like the zombie going up and down the drop tower on her foot, like hanging on to her
the child's foot.
I thought that was very good.
I have to think about how painful that would be to have someone holding on to
your foot while you're dropping up and down. I wouldn't like it. There's a clown zombie, of course. We knew that was going to happen.
I do like that when he smashes it with a sledgehammer, its nose makes the like,
ha! It's cute. It was cute. And the fact that it was the strong man sledgehammer that he
smashed it with. He's not that strong.
See, it's women saying things like that to him.
Now you're making me feel bad. Look, it's not women's fault that men are in cells.
No, it's absolutely not!
Yes, but people listening to this don't know that you think that.
And people respect you, so why don't you not be so sarcastic?
I'm sorry.
The opinions of Alan a 30 seconds ago were trying to make a joke.
I do not believe them.
Good.
So now rule 17 has changed to be a hero.
Woody Harrelson yells,
Tallahassee is nice this time of year to draw all the zombies to him.
And I was like, he's going to die.
He's sacrificing himself to be with his son in the afterlife. No, that's not what happens. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the th. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theean. thean. thean. thioooooooooooooooooooooome. the. Soe. the. the like, he's gonna die. He's sacrificing himself to be with his son in the afterlife.
No, that's not what happens.
It's not.
He sticks around for his son in this life.
But what a fun climax to the movie
where he's like hanging on to the helicopter ride
and then on the wild mouse shooting zombies. I was like, oh, I tho I was like th, I kind th, I kind th, I kind th, I kind th, I kind th, I kind tho, I kind tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho-s, tho-I tho-I to tho-a, tho-a, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thoooo a video game around the wild mouse shooting some things.
I would love that.
I love that.
So they save the ladies, Wichita and Little Rock.
They get them down off the up and down machine.
And how? Because they shot the control panel?
Oh, there was an emergency switch on the bottom of it that shut it down.
Gotcha. And she leans into him, gives him a hug and tells him that her name is Krista.
And they smooch Alucci. And the sister is like- And he tucs her hair behind her ear. He does. And it's the like conclusion to a cycle of terribleness. Yeah. Yeah. In the end he got he he he he he he the end. the end. the end. the end. the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. th. the the. the. the. the theee. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the. the. the. there's a twinkie that gets thrown to the guy now, and Tallahasse, he gets his twinky.
And he does this little speech, this little voiceover about how in finding these people he found everything he ever needed.
They barely tolerate you.
I guess that is a real family though, isn't it?
Mine is barely tolerating me.
Katie.
Yeah, Alan.
I have a question for you.
I have a question for you.
What's your question for me?
What do you think about this movie?
Uh, I find the parts of it to be very problematic, specifically the Jesse Eisenberg parts of it.
Yeah.
Without him, this is a fantastic movie.
Yeah, and like that character doesn't need to exist.
He could have just been different.
He could have been someone who, like, I don't know.
You can be a, like, isolated loner without being a creep.
Yeah. Right? Yeah, I guess the message there is that all isolated loners are creeps.
And I don't think that's very fair. And like there's no like, there's no redemption arc to him?
No, he just gets what he wants. He just gets what he wants. Yeah. It's like, oh, okay. I'm going to give this movie a six.
Yeah, I think that's fair.
I'm going to go with you on that.
I'm going to get on that wild mouse and rider with you.
It's a six.
Yeah, all that stuff.
Totally enjoy.
Woody Harrelson.
to be very. Truly. Who's the younger actress? What is her? Abigail Breslin? She was great?
And she is of age. She's like 12 or 13. This movie like she's really good. Yeah, it was like
I looked her up and I was like oh my god she's 28 now. Yeah, yeah this was more than half her life ago.
2009. She was great in Little Miss Sunshine. I do love that movie. Very good movie. Yeah, she's great in that. With another actor that kind of weirds me out, Paul Dano.
Paul Dano, I can't think of who that is.
It's her older brother in that.
He's in There Will Be Blood.
No, I have not seen that.
It's in the Twilight Man's Batman movie.
I have never seen this man before my life and I've seen that movie. He is a strange looking person though.
Yeah.
Wait, there's a movie called The Batman?
Yeah, that's the one starring the Twilight Man.
What's the Twilight Man? Robert Patton's?
Yeah. What?
Two hours and 56 minutes?
Eat all of my butt.
Eat my giant butt.
Please, your dumper.
That's what I call my sheds.
Katie.
Alan.
Can I read you a very nice email that we received?
That would be great.
It says hello, you two!
Hello, you won!
I assume this is from a single person and not a creative effort.
As far as I know.
Long-time listener and all that.
I have had this in my this in my this in my my this in my my this in my this in my this in my this in my this in my this in my I have had this in my notes in bullet point format for a few months,
never having the balls to send it. What? Why? Like what would we do? However, I think it might be a good time.
Okay. Full disclosure, I typically fall asleep to a big band playlist or barely discernible episodes of
suspense radio. What's the suspense radio? Uh, all the time you radio, like a thriller suspense show.
Cool. About a year and a bit ago, I stumbled across where all family
and said fell hard. It's not often I find myself agreeing with the
opinions of strangers, let alone in my bedroom night. Oh, baby.
You have a lot of strangers coming through with opinions. Look. They're just like, they're floating outside your bedroom window like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a th, a th, a th, a th, a thi, a thi, a thi, a the the thi, a thi-a, a the the their their their their their their their their their their, a their their, a their a their a their, a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th strangers coming through with opinions. Oh, look. They're just like, they're floating outside your bedroom window like,
that blanket color doesn't match the paint. You should get thicker drapes. Godfather, Part 3 is the best one!
In your bedroom. Cream with opinions of strangers in the bedroom can be uplifting.
Also about a year...
Is this about boners?
Yeah, yeah.
Great.
Yeah, do you need a slide whistle up in here.
We should get more props for sale.
Why don't we have a prop comedy podcast?
Which are our folly work?
Also about a year ago I slipped to a pretty dark place. I was not blessed with two things for...
I was not blessed with two things for certain.
The ability to do math, same, and solid mental health.
Same.
Same.
Listening to the show was a sort of reward for managing those really shitty days. Oh, baby. Now, it's a preamble, feel-good routine before Ellington and Bacey
count me into sleep. Oh my god that's the cutest thing I've ever heard. Luckily
I bounced back although this blue J season might kill me yet. I'm sorry that's
American League I don't know shit about shit. Fucking baseball,
fucking Pitsburgh I am with you. If it isn't our sports team, it's Drake.
Ugh.
We'll always have old G. D'Grassy, though.
And your high cost of living, my God.
Anyway, I thought I'd send this note once for all.
You're appreciated your beautiful.
Jay.
Thank you, Jay.
I'm sorry you went through some hard times, and I hope you're in a better place now. It sounds like you are despite your baseball leanings, but I bet you're not much better at math.
Have you gotten any better at math?
Me? No. No, Jay.
If you want to get together online and work on math together, I could probably use them.
Pretty good at geometry, Algebra, I'm lost. Geometry I like
a lot. Yeah, yeah, it makes sense to me. For some reason the visual aspect of it really
looks logical. It's very logical. It's not, it's not abstract. It is not abstract. But it is obtuse.
Is this acute what I'm doing right now? Sorry, I'm gonna come push hair behind your ear. Just tucking your beard behind my ear. I've
always wanted to tuck my hair behind someone else's ear. I would murture you. I would
genuinely murder you. I would be fucking acquitted to. On the the tip of mental health I
want to thank everybody who reached out recently and said unbelievably beautiful things to us. It th. the the th. Just. Just. Just just just just just just just just just the th. It th. It's th. It's th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just thu thu thu thu thu thu, just just thu thu the the thu the thu the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just the the the the thu. Just just just tuck. Just tucke just tucke just tucke just tucke of tucke of tucke of tucke of tucke of tucke of tucking tucking tucking tuck unbelievably beautiful things to us.
Thank you.
It really warmed the cock holes.
It was so nice.
We had a bad week.
We tried our best.
Alan got too high.
You can cut that.
You can cut that.
I was wrecked for an hour.
I'm sorry.
I had that like melt into the couch bullshit.
I mean, I just got my car and druff home.
I did have, I was like, when I couldn't talk, but I was thinking,
and I was like, man, our tolerances are way different, huh?
How many sour patched Oreos did you eat after I left? No, and I took this on to work and they were gone within an hour and I'm like, do I work with hummingbirds? What is happening right now?
God, office people will eat anything, anything.
Disgusting.
Put their shoes on the table that just consumed them.
Disgusting.
Put between two slices of bread, they're like, ooh, lunch. You just put it on the counter and they're like free. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they. they. they they they. they they're. they're. they're. they they they they they they they they they. they. they. they're. they. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're. they're th. th. th. th. th. theeea. th. thea. they're thea. But thank you all for reaching out and saying kind, kind, kind things to us.
Yeah, we appreciate it. Sorry, we had a bad week. Yeah, I'm not. We have bad weeks. It's fine. I don't want to be. I'll continue to be sorry. But one of us has to be. Someone has to go to prison, Alan. If you'd like to know what that is. that is. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. tod tod toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. today. today. today. today. today. todayto tron of Patreon and listen to our latest episode about a national
treasure which I consider to be a national pleasure.
Alan was, oh fuck, no, did you even say that in the episode?
You blew it.
All right, should we do another movie next week for these fine folks?
Should do another movie next week?
What movie are we going to do next week for these fine folks? Well you put up a request for our patrons to give to ideas for now that we're into Pride Month,
right, something that we could do for our queer, a queer friendly movie for our audiences,
and I already don't remember the title. Yeah, I was thinking that we should like, we don't really do
like the month themes, like we don't do like black history and stuff? You know, because it's fucking like, it's a pandering. I mean, I'm already, I'm already, I'm already feeling we're pandering. But I feel like in...
But we can't really pander to the queers, because they're already with us.
They're already with us.
I feel like in this year of an election where shit is going to get shitty and it's already
shitty for queer folks.
Yeah, we'll just, we'll I run into the trouble sometimes where I think the people,
like earlier when I made that sarcastic joke, where I'm like, people know what I'm saying.
Right. I have to remember that, like, you need to reiterate that stuff sometimes.
Yeah, it's true. And so like, we're going to do a queer themed horror movie,
and a lot of people suggested we do bodies, bodies. How could I've I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the tho tho the the thi the thea tho tho tho the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea thea thea thea thea the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thea thea thea the forget that name. Great job idiot. It's so nice they named it Thrice. Thrice. Yeah, so come back next week for that. Patreon.
dot com back slash where off ambulance ambulance. You can get at us at where all of amaulents.
Please leave us a rating and a review on Apple podcast. We don't ask for it often but we want it We should be better at vocalizing our desires. Oh, I love that. But putting it out into the universe. It's the secret, right?
No, I think you're just asking people to do the things you need them to do.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And speaking of which, uh, Patrons, I will be better at which, uh, Patrons, I will be,
yeah, yeah.
Yeah, the patronsthoughts of Katie do not represent the views of Katie.
Even though she says them out loud.
And thank you for listening to another episode of Robles.
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