Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 484- Maniac Cop (1988)
Episode Date: July 22, 2024In this week's episode, we dig deep into the world of police work in the 1988 film "Maniac Cop." Special topics for your consideration include: Is Tom Atkins hot? Does Tom Atkins fuck a young beautifu...l woman? Does Tom Atkins pull off a weird trench coat look? (My answers are no/no/sorta, yeah!) And guys listen. You know we tend to have an ACAB stance on our show, so if you're gonna get salty and feel the need to reach out to us about it, please do me a favor and just don't. Tom Atkins! You can catch him in Episode 52- "Halloween III: Season of the Witch," Episode 129- "The Fog," Episode 198- "My Bloody Valentine 3D," Episode 301- "Night of the Creeps," and if you're a Patrón of our show, you can access our action movies and hear us talk about him in "Escape from New York." The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes. It's Cold War month and we'll be discussing "Red Dawn." leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at werewolfambulance@gmail.com we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.  If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Alan.
Katie.
What do you think about cops?
Uh, A-C-A-B includes maniac cop?
Uh-H-A ACB includes maniac cop?
ACAB includes maniac cop.
Yeah.
All right.
All right, all right.
I mean, do you really want to get into it?
I mean, I think, yeah, I think at this point we've alienated enough people with our
ACAB attitude, but I just think we should have a really serious conversation about cops. The problem is that I showed up drunk and I'm also drinking a beer.
So let's have a really nuanced conversation about.
Just a tiny beer.
It's a huge beer.
Also I'm wearing a bathing suit.
I just rolled into Alan's house, I was wearing a bathing suit.
I'm sorry.
It's things. At summertime, baby's, oh, what is the, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just. the, just, just, just, just, a the, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just. It's. It. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a t. t. t. t. t. t. t. ti. ti. ti. ti. t. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. it's the band Scowl. I think you're thinking of Len Steal My Sunshine.
Boom, papa.
There's this hardcore band called Scowl,
and they played at a Sonic.
Like a burger, a burger place?
So they're playing out at Sonic.
And they started off with, what the fucks up,
what the fucks up? And lady, and she was wearing like a tank top, and her boobs kept falling out of the tank top
while she was like playing, and she goes,
whatever, tits off her hardcore.
All right, well, I am wearing a bathing suit top
and I am not going to let my tits fall out, so hold on one second.
Tits out for podcasting. Listen, to the ti. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Ttttod. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. t. t. tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttods. tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttoda. today. today. today. don't care. Summertime baby.
Summertime baby.
We're having friends, we're having bathing suits.
And tank tops, lots of tank tops.
Alan looks so good in this fucking tab he's wearing currently.
Thank you.
It's like Celtic Frost, tap.
Yeah, Celtic frost tap.
Yeah. Where did you get a Celtic Ross Dang talk. Oh from T-Public, the same place that you could buy our t-shirts. Go to T-E-Public, T-E-Public.com and search for Wearil Fambulance and you will see so many great
designs. Also go there and search for Celtic Frost and you can buy sweet tech tos. I recently just bought a t-shirt of the, it's the cover of the Police Outlandos Diamor, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which is, which record and a fantastic cover. Yeah.
And it came to me from an independent artist and I was like, yeah, no, no, I beat like this,
you fucking bitches.
Technically an independent?
Technically somebody took that and put it into a PNG file.
Ping.
So, well, this movie starts off.
Yeah. The cop getting dressed. Well, I do love the jaunty trauma intro though, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, I the, I the, I the, I, I, I the, I, I, I, I, I the, I, I, I the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the the the the the the the the the the the the, I, I, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I theateateateateat, theateat, theateateat, theat, theat, this movie starts off.
The cop getting dressed.
Well, I do love the jaunty trauma intro, though.
I feel like the trauma, like, has nothing to do with what trauma movies are.
Like, it's like a fancy little skyline and some jaunty music, and then you're like,
what are you doing?
What are you doing?
But yes, a cop getting dressed.
Getting dressed with the title credits over like freeze-framing as they put on their badge
or their very ill-fitting white clothes.
Oh my God, I mean this whole opening credit sequence really takes its sweet time for no
particular reason.
But you get some names, like Tom Atkins.
Hometown boy, Tom Atkins.
Hometown most fuckable man in Pittsburgh.
Not Jeff Goldblum, not Michael Keaton, not Tom Savinie.
Did they stay?
Well, Tom Savinie did stay.
Yeah, he's my neighbor.
He's literally my neighbor.
Although I have to say, I want to say this right now.
I have been at the pool, to to to to to the pool almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost since it's opened. I have not seen Tom Savini once.
I know, and I know he's home because he's getting
whole food's deliveries and packages,
which I see on my way to work.
I see them on my way to work.
They're just on his steps when I go to work
because we live on one-way streets.
He lives on the opposite street from me,
so I have to go down my street, up his street,
So I have to go down my street up his street to get out of my neighborhood You haven't hacked his ring cam you're not
I have not hacked his ring cam. It's just that I sit there at that light and
And he's home and he's not been at the pool and I'm just like a little bit worried about him is the the the carloff license plate parked out front?
Well, he changed it. It says Hercules. Oh, that's right. Yeah, we. that. he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he. he he he he that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I the. I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I the. the. I th. th. th. th. th.'s right. Yeah. With a cue. With a cue. Letter cue. Yeah. We get Tom Mackens. We get Bruce Campbell. We get someone with the name Lorraine. Lorraine is such
a name of like my people. It's like very white trash.
Lorraine. Lorraine. We get Richard Roundtree. Oh just talking about shaft.
What? It's
Shaft. It's the guy who played Shaft. I don't know what that means actually. I thought
that was Isaac Hayes. Isaac Hayes wrote the music for Shaft. Okay. Richard Roundtree
played the character of Shaft. Who is Richard Roundtree in this film? He is the Commissioner? He is the Commissioner. the Commissioner. the thure is the commissioner? the commissioner. thure, thure, thii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that that that that that that is is that is that's that's that's is that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi. right. Not to be confused with Will Smith, the captain.
Not our Will Smith?
Not our real Smith, William Smith, but I wrote him down as Will Smith.
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
So yes, the entire opening credits are just a cop getting dressed.
So yes, he has a little name plate.
told me to be a badge with a label maker name.
Yes, it looks so shitty.
When Mallory pulls out her badge later, I was like, you made that with a fucking label
maker.
I have that.
I use it for spices.
And the final actor that I recognize with Robert Zadar.
Tell me about Robert Zadar.
Well, he plays the titular maniac cop in this.
He is in, what is it, the Soul Takers?
That episode of Mystery Science Theater with the Lesser Estevez.
Joe Estevez.
I love Joe Estevez.
Yeah, maybe the Soul Reapers, something like that.
He was just like a hunky actor with a really huge chin. He does have an enormous chin, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is very cop-like. It's a strong chin of the wall. Look, can we just get this out of the way? Yeah. We don't like cops. Sure. No. Yeah. I never liked cops. Yeah. I mean, it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. Something. Something. Something. It's something. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a, a, a, a, a. It's a, a, a, a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a the. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. the. S. the. It's a. It's a. It's can we just get this out of the way? Yeah. We don't like cops. Sure, no.
I've never liked cops. No, I mean it's a, it's a, it's a it's a based in all sorts of
fucked up like class shit and white supremacy. Totally. It's a bad scene. It's a bad scene.
And I know there are good cops. There are people who want to police their neighborhoods and make things safer for everybody. I get that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to the. to to to to to to the. the. th. that. the the that. that. th. th. th. th. th. and make things safer for everybody. I get that, but also fuck cops. There has to be a different way to do it than what we're doing
it currently because what we're doing currently fucking fails. Yeah I think
the system is broken. And also if you're a cop or if you're a cop
enthusiast, maybe don't listen to this episode. Or maybe don't listen to any of our
episodes because we're just not cop people.
I was just thinking the other day about our boys on J6.
Our boys?
Our boys?
Our boys are boys.
When they were attacking the Capitol and beating cops with blue lives matter flags.
Yes!
So you don't believe it either.
Nobody is pro cop.
Just coppaganda. Coppaganda.
And this movie.
But however, you and I spend a lot of our time watching crime dramas where it's all focused
around cops solving crimes.
So the thing I love about British crime dramas is there's almost no good cops and
British crime dramas.
Okay. They're always like super flawed and fucked up and like... Yeah, that's fair. I don't feel like it's like, what is it, Olivia Benson?
Is that a SVU?
Yeah, but Mariska Hargate is a beautiful woman.
Sure, the star of Goulies.
What?
What?
She's her first movie?
Yeah, come on? We're only do coolies, ghoulies with Tesla? Oh, Tesla's so frank and funny. Talked about Marushka Harkete.
Do you love Mariska Harkate?
Yeah.
Beautiful woman.
And who's the guy with a good butt?
Christopher Maloney.
Oh, God, I would just, I would rub my face on that butt.
That's where poop comes out.
Yeah, I know.
So we get a shot of those beautiful, beautiful twin towers.
Always feels awkward, always feels like you shouldn't look them in the face, you know?
You're like, I have to take my shoes off in the airport now and also like, I can't look
at you.
Because one guy didn't blow up a plane, we have to take our shoes off in the airport.
Don't give you started on TSA. The last time I went through, the airport, the airport, the airport, the airport, the airport, the airport, the airport, the airport, the airport, their, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thi, I tha, I was tha, I was thi, I was thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.a, togoge, toge, toguuu.a, togu.a, toguui, thi, togui, thi, th I went through airport security they pulled me aside because
my crotch was too hot and I've always said what I describe you to people?
Hot crotch. Super hot crotch. I was wearing these shorts I think actually bike
shorts just like very skin-tight bike shorts and they had to like wand my crotch
and I was like listen what you see is
what you get it's all right here this is my whole vagina what do you think
I'm doing? That's funny because I was thinking about the one time I went through
TSA in Birkenstack clogs. They were rubber clogs. Okay and I went up to the TSA guy
and he's like hey do you want to take your shoes off?
And this was like, he asked you?
Yeah, yeah, this was like right at the beginning of all that shoe taking off shit.
And I went, not really.
And I was like, all right, well, we got a wand to you.
And I was like, why didn't you just say, take your shoes off? Also, sometimes I get a hot crotch. It happens when I get a lot of adrenaline, which happens before I get on a plane.
Ma'am, your crotch is too hot, thank you.
So this happened on a trip with all of my girlfriends
that was, our flight was four o'clock in the morning,
and we were all fucking idiots,
and they were like, wa my friends were dancing and I was like,
fuck you, TSA.
We're doing our thing.
And fuck you all my cool crotch friends over there, didn't get this to have to them.
Just walked right the fuck through with their fucking perfect crotches.
Oh yeah, we crammed a maniac crotch for sure. Does what it wants.
Really.
Alan's so embarrassed of me right now.
And never.
Written by Larry Cohen, who you might know as the director of the stuff,
uh, cue the wigged serpent.
I love this stuff.
So we get this lady who's leaving a cop bar.
She knows all the cops in town.
Yeah.
And she's leaving the cop bar to go and she's like,
some of us have real jobs.
And I was like, yeah, you do.
What is your real job?
Not bartending?
Not being a cop.
Oh, I see.
Oh, bartending. going and I got very excited about the Rocks in Your Head record store because it's like an old punk and New Wave record store in Soho.
Rip.
Rip every cool record store that has ever existed.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
And she gets grabbed up by some street tufs.
Yeah, a hand grabs her ankle.
And they're like, lady, give us your purse.
Give them your fucking purse.
Yeah. First ofthem your fucking purse. Don't fight them.
First of all, it's 1988.
I'm a freshman in high school.
You might have one credit card.
And you're just going to cancel it.
Like, give them your purse.
Yeah. You were a freshman in high school.
Yeah, I was in kindergarten. I know. And only because I was super smart.
I was not in high school because I was super smart. No, it was just your age. It was just yeah, yeah.
So I'm getting like good warriors vibes from street tufs try to mug a lady. I mean this is entirely New York
York at its worst, right? Yeah. Mm-hmm. So they, she fights him off and they. And there's like a ch like, like, I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was. I was. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. I was th. I was th. I Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So they, she fights him off and then they chase her
and there's like a chubby guy taking his garbage out
and he's like, I should say something.
He's not gonna fucking help.
He's not gonna fucking help.
No.
He doesn't, he doesn't help.
He doesn't help.
He doesn't help. Yeah, right. All right, all right, fucking guy. So she runs and hides in a playground, the least safe place you can go hide.
You think so?
I feel like there's just so many blind alleys at a playground that someone can just walk
around behind you.
Sure, it's a lot of open space.
A lot of open space, but a lot of like slides and tubes that are going to block
your tubes. Like the internet the internet the internet the internet the internet the internet the the the the the the the tubes, tubes, tubes, tubes, tubes, tubes, tubes, tubes, tubes, tubes, thubes, thubes, thubes, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, but a lot, thi, thi, but a lot, thi, but a lot, but a lot, but a lot, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the least the least the least thi space thi space thi space thi. thi space, thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thia thia thia thia thia thia thia the least least least thia thia thia thia thia thia thia, yeah. Like the internet, tubes. And... Wait, what?
Just keep moving.
Tell me how you think the internet works.
It's a series of tubes that information passes through.
Yeah, that's it, basically.
I'm a senator.
Um, what?
There was a senator who said thatthe inventor of the internet? No. It was some old dip shit.
Some boomer.
Foxy boomers.
So she sees a cop.
Yeah.
And she yells for this.
Officer, officer, officer.
I've never yelled for a cop in my entire fucking life.
It makes me think of that one.
Is it, whoop, whoop is the sound of the police by KRS1?
When he says officer, officer, officer, officer overseer.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, she's yelling for this like 12 foot, 12, 12.
He is 12 foot 12.
He's huge.
That's 13.
Oh.
Oh.
And he turns around, and he fucking picks her up and snaps her neck like a raggedy Andy.
She's like, these two Puerto Rican guys tried to mug me and you're like, how do you know they're Puerto Rican?
toogean, dude, come on! In the 80s, white people thought everybody else was Puerto Rican.
But why? I don't know. I mean, I live in an area that is not very Hispanic, there's not a lot of Hispanic people
in our area.
I just never knew that Puerto Ricans were a thing we had to worry about.
They're not.
They're not!
I remember talking to a friend of mine years ago that when we were kids we thought it was
a racial slur.
Puerto Rican?
Yeah.
Because that's how it was used.. Mexican? You Mexican? You Mexican? You Mexican? You Mexican? You Mexican? You, Mexican? You, Mexican. I, Mexican. I, Mexican. I, Mexican. I, Mexican. I, Mexican. I, Mexican. I, Mexican. I, Mexican. I, Mexican. I, Mexican. I, Mexican. I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was like, I was like, I'm like, I was like, I was like, I was, I was, that's, that's, that's, I was, I was, I was, I was. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. I, I. I. I. I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I, I. I was, I was, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like that's something bad, but also, you know, Jewish?
Yeah.
Jewish?
Yeah, white people.
We're not good.
We are bad.
So she gets killed after she says.
He picks her up and just breaks her fucking nag.
It was a cop, man, a big cop.
So, so the street toughs get brought in and Tom Atkins is immediately like, I love when we get to see Tom Atkins,
Tom Atkins, because we just see him in silhouette walking towards us and I'll go, I just went,
I'll never forget how that man walks.
Look at how he walks.
He walks in such a distinctive way.
Tom Atkins, Pittsburgh's own.
And he's like, I don't believe that these kids did it. They can't just pick a woman up and snap her neck. But they also could have?
I guess so.
I mean, would have, I suppose, had they gotten the opportunity.
Why does Tom Atkins,
everything Tom Adkins believes is fucking nonsense,
even though he's right.
Even though it is the truth at all time.
But why would he believe any of it? I don't know, but she knew a lot of cops.
She knew a lot of cops.
This is a line in the movie.
She knew a lot of cops.
We see the coroner.
Who has the most fantastic mullet I've seen in ages?
This is a movie of mullets.
He looks like someone, I thought he was someone. He's not someone. He
looked absolutely like he should have been someone. That's what he thought too. When he was
in this movie, he's like, I'm gonna be someone. I'm gonna be someone. I'm gonna be someone. I'm gonna
be someone. I'm gonna have this fucking mullet. Yeah, I know that I look like a third stringer from Human League, but I'm going to be someone to be someone to be to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a. Very good. So then we, we, the the medical examiner rattles off a lot of
shit that doesn't have shit to do with shit. He has like eight lines and they're all delivered
and rapid succession. Yeah. And then we cut to these kids playing grab ass in a car that almost
run a red light. They're necking at a red light which I feel is very nice. I also like that you said necking, like you're from the 50s.
Necking? Yeah. All right. Canoodling? They're canoodling? They're canoodling?
They were parking. Yeah, they're parking. But they're not parking because they're at a red light. And so they get pulled over by a cop. And so they get pulled. And they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, their, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, their, their, their, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the the the the their, their, their, their their their their th. I their. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. N. I th. I th. N. I a cop. And the girl is like, you have to just cooperate. You just have to cooperate.
Never fucking cooperate with a cop.
Like, I don't mean to give bad advice,
but I do it all the time on this show.
And it's kind of my job.
Never fucking cooperate.
Never fucking cooperate.
I have a feeling that both William Lustig and Larry Cohen would agree with you. I don't know. I feel like they're I mean I
guess this isn't pro-cop is it? No. No. Listen if a cop stops you know know your
fucking rights. If a cop stops you like from you're speeding if you're speeding
bat the eyelashes and see what you can do if you can't you take the speeding ticket right? Yeah yeah because it doesn't work for me the eyelashes and see what you can do. If you can't, you take the speeding ticket, right? Yeah, yeah, because it doesn't work for me the eyelashes. Um, it's, I mean...
If you try showing them your tits? Because that has worked for me.
What do you think of these bad boys? What about these?
What about the kid out of the car and it's like pointing
and like twirl in his finger to tell the kid where to go.
If the cop doesn't speak to that, you don't do it, you don't fucking do it.
Cops have less rights than you think.
You have more rights than you think.
And you know it's not a legit cop because they love yelling at you.
Oh yeah.
Anyone who's ever been yelled at a cop knows that.
And so the cop pulls a knife out of his billy club.
Or a sword?
I don't know what?
It's like a dagger but a really long one?
Sure, yeah. He's a tall man.
His genetics. And he slashes the
fucking shit out of this kid and throws him on the windshield of his cars. I love it. I love
the blood all over the damn windshield. I love the blood reflecting on the face of the
woman who jumps into the driver's seat to drive to drive away. Most rational human being in this film. She is the only one. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. thrown. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He. He. He. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, I care for. Yeah. And she drives through where the cop should have been, but he's gone.
He's gone.
Like a ghost.
But how?
He's got ghost powers.
Is he a ghost?
No.
But he got ghost powers.
OK.
OK.
Wait, I want to talk maybe later.
OK.
About what the fuckthing that's supposed to be dead that comes back for revenge. Is he a zombie? No, he's alive. Is he corporeal? Yes
Okay, they shoot the shit out of him, but they do shoot the shit out of him, you're right? No, but in this scene she drives through him and he was not there. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So the next scene is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. th. S. S. Yes. Yes. Yes. Sing to the commissioner. Uh-huh. And I was like, oh, it's definitely fucking Tom Atkins.
He's definitely the bad guy.
I would love to see Tom Adkins as a bad guy.
Yeah, I don't know if I've ever seen him anything.
Never.
Never.
You think he's like the rocky will not play the bad guy?
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Tom Atkins, guess his age in this movie? Um, all right, 1988, he's white-haired, I'm going to guess he's 62.
53.
Oh shit.
Yeah, mm-hmm.
Man, I'm not that far off from 53.
You're even closer.
But if you do the quick math, the fog was what, 1981? So like, the f-oh know, he was fucking Jamie Lee Curtis. Who is 19?
Yeah.
You've got the Halloween 3 where he's also fucking that young lady.
Yeah.
This is why I don't, I think this movie
is like a little bit unbelievable.
Why?
Because no, you're throwing yourself a Tom Atkins.
I disagree because you texted me today and you were like, we were like, we were like, we were like, we were like, we were like, talk about this movie where Tom Atkins does not fuck a woman 20 years his junior and I thought no you're absolutely wrong because when he meets with a
news anchor she's like oh how romantic oh yeah she's trying to get him to
throw it no they have fucked in the past she is 25 he is 53 and he has fucked her
the implication is that Tom Atkins is so fucking hot he can fuck anybody ever!
He's the Martin Compton of American actors!
Is Tom Atkins the Martin Compton of America?
Why do directors think that women want to fuck Tom Atkins?
Who does a love a mustache?
I love a mustache? Who does't love an authoritative gentleman?
I don't love an authoritative gentleman.
I will punch you in your face.
Who does it love a tweed raincoat?
Who does it?
That coat that he's wearing with all the like speckles?
I just thought, oh my god, did your wife this for you? looks like shit. It really does it's great. Tom Atkins is not... Listen, I'll listen. I
want to say something about myself. You guys, you listen. You guys...
Known hot crotch. Yeah, go on. I have a hot crotch. You guys have been listening to the show
for 10 years. You know my sexual interests are wild and varied. And they're mostly focused on older men.
Mm-hmm. Tom Adkins is not sexy. And they're mostly focused on older men.
Tom Adkins is not sexy.
Hmm.
Film will tell you differently.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
All right.
You're good.
I mean, yeah.
Yeah. I've been in a room with the man. I know what this is like.
You fucked Tom Atkins. No, not yet.
He's like 94 now. Would you fuck Tom that? Is he? th? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha, that, tha, thatkin, thatkin, tha, tha, tha, tha, tho, thi. thi. tho, tho, th. th. th. to. to. to. to. th. thom. thom. tha, tha, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha, tha, tha, tha. tha. tha. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tha. tha. tha. tha. I know what this is like. You fucked Tom Atkins? No, not yet. He's like 94 now.
Is he 94? Uh, no, 84, right? He was born in 35. 45, 55, 75, 85, two thousand five, 2015. He'll be, yeah,
it'll be 90 next year. Yeah, would you fuck Tom Atkins? I mean he's an older gentleman I'd be worried
about like... Would you have fucked him in 1988? I mean I don't know that you know
like yes probably. Is he nice to you? I mean like did you say nice things? Was he like
on your ass is so good? It gave me the information I needed to make a story and
though I'm a newspaper reporter you will hear my tele newspaper reporter, you will hear my voice. Or no, I'm a television reporter, and you will hear my voice on the radio later.
They definitely fucked, though.
That is the implication is that they have fucked in the past.
I'm just surprised that usually they show don't tell with him fucking ladies.
It's absolutely true.
They give him a woman in her absolute prime of beauty.
Yeah. And it's like I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I like I would love to fuck Tom Atkins. Straddling him while his real-life wife dies in the room next to him.
Wait who's this real-life wife? The woman who gets zapped in Halloween 3 with the
she's like... Wait Marge? Yeah.
Why are you really? I think so. I could be wrong about that. I have to be wrong about that. I think so. I could be wrong about that. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I could be wrong about that. Yeah.
Tom Atkins is a gem.
He really is.
And I guess if I were an ugly, older man and people kept being like, young women want
to fuck you, I'd be like, yeah, fine.
Hey, we wrote this into a movie, Young Ladies to fuck you.
He'd be like, yeah, I will, I will accept that. And this, unbelievably, is the conversation he has with Richard Roundtree when he walks
into the office.
Yeah, that's actually it, yeah.
Tom, all these young ladies.
No, they just want to fuck you.
Didn't you try to shoot yourself a couple years back?
What? Yeah, the gun went off. What does that mean? The commissioner says to Tom Atkins, you don't smile very much, which it was really nice
to hear that said to a man for a fucking change.
I wish he had told me that I looked prettier when he smiles.
Oh my god.
So I'm a smiley person.
I've that no one, no man has ever said to me like you'd look better with my sunglasses
on. Which I think about all the time. Is time. Is time. Is thi. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to to that th. that that that th. that th. that th. th. th. that that th. th. that that th. that th. that th. th. that th. that thi, what is thi. thi. that thi. thi. that thi. that thi. that that that thi. that that that thi. that that that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi I think about all the time.
Is that a girl?
You look prettier with them sunglasses on.
Is that a thing that a guy says like,
maybe, maybe this is gonna work?
I mean.
Or is it just like, you know what I haven't belittled anyone in a little while?
I think it's nagging.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So yeah, we get the back back back back back back has tried to kill himself after his partner died.
Yeah. He was real sad.
And the, are the commissioner like kind of making fun of him for it?
The commissioner garners no sympathy with us.
No.
Like when he dies later, you're like, fine?
I guess so.
I guess that's fine.
So cut to a trombone guy walking down the street with his trombone case?
Yeah, I mean he's just trying to get home.
He's just a tromboneer out there trying to get home.
But he's trying to get home.
He's trying to get home.
But then this cop comes up and coughs him.
Cops him.
Coffs him.
And tha. top doesn't move quickly. He runs from the guy and then he runs into a lobby of an apartment building and starts
buzzing all the buzzers with his nose and are just like, no-oh-
Everyone's like, go fog yourself.
But also, I'm pretty sure that's where COVID came from.
Oh, for sure. Don't put your face on those buzzers.
But then he falls into some wet concrete, which must have been poured here in the dead of night
because it is very, very, very, very, very wet.
And luckily the maniac cops right there
to rub his nose in it like he's shit on the floor.
Yes, you don't do that here.
Listen, can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
Did you watch it on shutter. Oh, I didn't realize it was on shutter. And I watched it on 2B and I put the subtitles on because I'm deaf.
Sure.
And the subtitles were fucking brilliant.
I have to tell you that like the next so like you see the guy go down into the concrete.
And then the next scene is them jackhammering the concrete. But the subtitle just said, B-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I the-I the-I the-s I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-S-S-S-S-U-S-U-SkkkkkkknecubeU-s subtitles subtitles the-s subtitles the-s subtitles the-s subtitles the-s subtitles the-s subtitles the-s subtitles the B-R-R-R-K, B-R-R-K, B-R-R-K.
And I loved it so much.
Is that the noise of the jackhammer?
I have a note every time that the subtitle say something stupid.
So...
Yeah, it was jackhammer noise.
Okay, all right.
Yeah, they got a jackhammer his face would just pull right out. And so so so so so so so so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I, I, I I I I, I, I, I I I, I, I I I, I I, I, I I, I I, I, I I, I I, I, I, I, I, I, I. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the think his face would pull right out. And also, why do they pour it in the dead of night?
Because it hardens pretty quick.
Katie, Katie!
Alan.
City that never sleeps.
Yeah, I guess that's fair.
There's concrete pouring off.
I'm from Pittsburgh, where we, it's a city.
City that's just going to be to to to to to to to to to it's gonna be a hard it's gonna be hard so why is it
like that it's a great city yeah hard to get a pizza sorry you should be in bed
why do you need pizza hey go to bed yeah the the freezer down the cellar just go
grab one of them frozen pizzas cook them up real quick now then pizza
now then pizza mmm mmm so then uh cut to Atkins at a bar, which he's at often in these movies.
I love this bar.
I think this looks like a great bar.
Katie wants to hang out at a cop bar.
I mean, I used to hang out at Gators.
When you're Gators existed in Bloomfield on Liberty.
Okay, so Gators is before your time.
Gators is now Caliente.
But Gators was a cop bar that I used to to to to to to to drink in to drink in to drink in to drink in to drink in to drink in cop bar, that I used to drink in underage.
Because if you're near cops, there are no laws.
Because if you're near cops, there are no laws.
Exactly. I would just roll in there like age 17, just drinking at the cop bar.
And it was full of cops and I would just drink there.
I like that bar.
Really cheap. Bring Gators. Rip Gators. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th at th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th the. the. the. the. to to to to thea to to to to to to to thea thea thea thiia thea thia. thea, huh? Rip gators. Rip gators. Yeah. Atkins meets
this lady with beautiful 80s hair. She's the best newscaster hair. Yeah, so she's on the
trail of a hot store and he's like, all right, I'm gonna be an anonymous source. You can use my name.
Yeah, in the next thing. Yeah, wait a minute. Okay, but go on. And he gives her all the information, and he's like,
hey, you gotta make this big.
You have to make this bigger than AIDS.
Yeah, make it bigger than AIDS.
Yikes.
1988, AIDS was huge.
I mean, yeah.
The government had finally started to acknowledge it was happening.
Cut to, after he gives the information to the lady and says the unfortunate make it bigger
than a strict line, we cut to a woman hearing the lady's television transmission in her car radio.
Yeah, she's like, I've talked to a cop.
His name is McCray, but he asked to be nameless.
Why doesn't this ever come back?
It's, if you say that someone asked to be nameless
after you say their name, it erases that information.
Yeah, it's like copyright, copyright, copyright.
It's copyright, copyright, copyright, and it's also
Destiny's Child, say my name, say my name.
Exactly.
When no one is around name, say my name. Can you imagine just, you actually kind of shady.
And calling me Baby.
Katie, I love you.
Why the sudden change?
It's a great song.
So this lady's listed in the new store and she's like, Habda, what? And then a cop who is inexplicably also wearing white gloves,
only wear those gloves for formal occasions.
I don't know why they're wearing gloves all the time.
Do cops wear white gloves?
To unlike formal, yeah, part of their like formal uniforms.
What do cops need to be formal for?
Like funerals, parades. Okay, so like, I was really sure that I wasn't going to say a goddame thing about the Irish in this movie.
We'll get to it. I definitely have a note that says, oh, no, Katie. I'm so sorry. I can't stop herself. I'm so sorry.
I can't stop herself. I'm so sorry that I brought my anti-Irish cousin on last week too.
Jesus Christ.
So, she hears this news and she's all freaked out.
And then a cop comes off and knocks on her window.
And we're like, oh my god, it's maniac cop, even though this man is demonstrably smaller
than maniac cop.
He's a little guy.
And she's, instead of rolling down her window and being like,
what or just driving away?
She fucking pulls out a gun and shoots him.
And shoots him.
She kills a non-maniac cop.
And then also I thought, he's just a baby, but also, mea!
And cut to the police commissioner going,
Well, now everybody in town has an excuse to shoot cops. Yes, and also like, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. thi thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, now everybody in town has an excuse to shoot cops.
Yes, and also like, I'm sorry that I don't like cops.
Just if you're in a family with a family member
who's a cop encouraged them to get a different line of work.
Yeah, I mean, maybe they could be a firefighter.
Yeah, I mean, we can police ourselves.
Can we? Sure, I mean, we did before there were police. Yeah, it's like the mongoose problem.
Mmm, the mongoose problem.
To get rid of the snakes you brought in the mongooses?
Yeah, and now we have a mongoose problem.
In Hawaii.
We, in Hawaii.
I'll probably never go to Hawaii in my life.
Here we are.
Cut to a woman maniac cop scrapbooking. Yeah. to. to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. to. to. to to thoom. to thoom. thi. thi. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. We. to. Wea. Wea. Wea. to. Wea. Wea. to. to. Wea. Wea. Wea. to. to. Wea. the the the the the are. Cut to a woman maniac cop scrapbooking.
Yeah, yeah, she's just saving maniac cop clippings, which I don't think is a great look, but
she suspects her dude.
Who is her dude?
Bruce Campbell.
We also find that she's a therapy dropout.
I feel so bad for Ellen.
Ellen is the most tragic character in this film.
She has a loveless marriage. Yeah I mean she's love with Bruce Campbell who is
absolutely intimidating her like absolutely is trying to scare her. She's
terrified of him. Yes and for good reason he's scary. Yeah and she thinks that he is the maniac.
Of course because he seems insane.
When he talks to her, he gets right in her face to say like innocuous shit.
And I'm like, what are you doing, dog?
No wonder she didn't want to go to therapy with you, my dude.
Which is so funny because after their relationship ends, which we'll get to, he is just seemingly like a great partner to the other woman in his life....... this. this. relationship ends which we'll get to he is
just seemingly like a great partner to the other woman in his life. Yes the whole
thing is like Ellen dies and he has as a fair partner and they're like now we
love them I don't know why. They also have these cross stitches of old cars
on the wall but by their front door? Why? Everyone does.
It's the 80s.
All right, all right.
She says something about like, maybe I'm just sleeping too much, which I thought no one has
ever said that ever.
I assume that was supposed to be like, I'm depressed.
Sure.
I'm sleeping too much.
Oh, can't I think about it constantly. I'm I'm thiing thiiiiiiiiing thi sleeping. I'm thi sleeping. I'm thi sleeping. I'm thi sleeping sleeping sleeping sleeping sleeping sleeping sleeping sleeping sleeping sleeping sleeping sleeping sleeping sleeping sleeping sleeping sleeping sleeping sleeping sleeping thii Oh, can I imagine it? Yes.
I can't.
I think about it constantly.
I can't imagine sleeping more than like five hours a night.
Oh, I'm a solid seven and a half.
Seven and a half.
Five hours is my, five hours is my max.
If I, if I don't do seven and a half, I'm fucking useless.
Yeah, well, I'm stupid.
I do everything. I'm stupid. I'm stupid. I'm well, I'm stupid. I like, I do everything incorrectly. Wait, is that why I'm stupid?
Because I only sleep five hours a night.
No, you are not me.
We are different people.
Yeah, he should sleep more.
They have a argument and he's like, I'm going to work.
Yeah, because he's been called out on duty.
Yeah. Because there's like, they have the flu they have the flu yeah but
really he's not going on duty where's he going on duty all right I mean he's
going on a different kind of dude he's going on dick duty he's going on dick duty
he's going on dick duty I mean sometimes you have to go on dick duty
it's true but like break up with your partner if you're gonna have like a. thick duty with not your partner yeah I mean they're they're the the the the the the the the their their their their their they're they're they're their they're they're their they're they're their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. the. the. the. the. I's the. I's the. I's they. I's the. Yeah I mean they're married and have no children and she's young and just let her go. Yeah yeah yeah but
so before after he leaves but before she leaves to follow him she gets a
phone call that basically accuses him of being maniac cop. Yeah and
maniac cop is a thing that we're saying and it's also the title of this film
but it's also what everybody calls this man.
It said so many times that I love the movie for it.
Maybe a cop!
It's very good.
So the wife goes out in them streets.
Yeah, she's sticking a gun in her pocket, NBD. She just puts it right in her
trench coat.
She's following Bruce out in their in their in you're a young lady, get a divorce, marry a non-cop.
Yeah, don't Google the domestic violence rates amongst police officers.
And she's stalking him, and he doesn't go to the police precinct.
No, no, no, no, he goes to a hotel, motel.
The Budget Inn, holiday in.
And she immediately goes up to the holiday in motel, hotel, guy.
Well, she goes to the front desk and they're apparently they give her a key to her?
She's like, you know what?
Pretty sure my husband is either the maniac cop.
Can I have the key in the and they're like, yeah, why not? So, he cheating.
He's fucking another cop.
Yeah, he's fucking some blonde lady.
Some blonde lady.
Yeah.
Everyone needs a Teresa in their lives.
Yeah.
But also, he's pretty fucking hunky in this.
Oh my god.
Oh my God.
But Ellen has a gun. She pulls her gun. Yeah, she's aiming it at. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He's fucking at at the the th. He's fucking at th. He's fucking at the th. He's fucking th. He's fucking th. He's fucking th. He's fucking th. He's fucking, he's fucking, he's fucking. He's fucking. He's fucking. He's fucking. He's fucking. He's fucking. He's fucking. He's fucking. He's fucking. He's fucking. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's fucking. He's fucking. He's fucking. He's fucking. He's fucking. He's fucking th. He's fucking th. He's fucking th. He's fucking th. He's fucking th. He's fucking th. He's fucking th. He's fucking th. He's fucking th. He's fucking the. He's fucking thea thea thea thea thea thea thea theea thea th chin? Oh my God. But Ellen has a gun, she pulls
her gun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's aiming it at Bruce Campbell and his affair partner. Yeah,
and then she's like, no, I'm gonna leave. So she leaves and then she gets grabbed by
someone in a car. Which I'm still not a thousand percent on who did the nabbing. I mean, I think it's maniac cop. But it's probably also maniac cop's lover.
Oh, you think it was Sally?
I think Sally may have been involved.
Because I can't imagine maniac cop is organizing things.
He's a literal maniac.
Wait, can we talk about what maniac cop is?
Because I feel like I feel like I wanted to save it to the end. What is maniac cop? Is he, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I thi, I the, I thi, I thi, I tha, I tha, I tha, I tha, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, th is, th is, th is, th is, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, I th, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to save it to the end. What is Maniac Cop? Is he a zombie? Is he a Gollum? Is he... What is he?
He... I... Again, I think he's a Revenant. He's based in Revenant.
What... Define Revenant for... It's a... Someone or something that's supposed to be dead that comes back solely for revenge. But that's a ghost. that's a ghost. that's a ghost. that. that's a that's a ghost. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. I's... I's... I's... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I......... th. I... th. I... th. I... th. th. I... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thee. th. the. the. he. he. he. he. he. he. he is the movie Revenant starring one Leonardo DiCaprio. I am never going to watch that in my whole fucking life.
But it also stars one Tom Hardy.
And uh...
You love him, his pillowy lives!
And, and, and some things transpire.
And Tom Hardy is now being chased down by a man he thought he left for dead, aka Leonardo DiCaprio. The Revenant... Okay, whatever, I don't care. Yeah. th. But, but it, but it, but it, but it, but it, but it, but, but it, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but it, but it, th, th, th, th. But, th. But, th, th, th, th, th. But, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, aka Leonardo Cabrillo, the Revenant.
Leonard, okay, whatever, I don't care.
Yeah, so yeah, I mean, I think he's supposed to be like, he's supposed, I think him getting
so close to death has given him supernatural powers as it does to all people who have near
death experiences.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. I mean, if you think that's true then I believe you. Okay. Look I'm an atheist and I'm very
stupid so I don't know. Anyway the next morning Ellen's dead in the bed I
don't know. Yeah in the same hotel Motel's holiday in room. So is that meant to, are we
meant to believe that Bruce Campbell and Lorraine, Lorraine, left. Teresa.
Teresa Mallory, left.
And then Maniac Cop brought her in there?
Yeah, he planned it.
All right, all right.
He planted her corpse.
How, the terrible thing is you have to spend the next half hour of the film,
just watching how broken up Bruce Campbell is about losing his wife.
He has no feelings for it all. That was the one. Yeah absolutely nothing. She's dead. God dang it. Where's my
new wife? So like the cop, he's not the commissioner. The captain, Captain Ripley. The captain like
delivers this news to him. He's wearing sunglasses. Which I think is a really shitty way to tell to tell someone that their spouses did. I said Captain Ripley really needs needs the thly thly thly thly thly thly thly thly he he he he he he he he he he he he he thly thly thly thly thly to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. He's the. He's the. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He. He's th. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's toe. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. the. the. He's the. He way to tell someone that their spouse is dead. I said Captain Ripley really needs to work on his bedside manner.
He is awful.
He like pulls the sunglasses off and he's like,
your wife was found dead in a motel room.
Throat slit, ear to ear.
Fucking rude!
Does the ear to ear hand signal?
He's also a police captain wearing a pinky ring and I was like,
what is this world? Never trust, listen, ladies, ladies, ladies of whereol famulants. You know,
I love you, I love hearing from you, I love all of you. I love your website, ladies of
where all famulants. It's all tits. Oh my god, so many great tits. Sh, you all have great tits. Shush. I'm talking to, I I I I I to to to to to to to to to the ladies. I'm thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies. Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies. Ladies, ladies. Ladies, ladies. Ladies, ladies. Ladies, ladies. Ladies, ladies. Ladies, ladies. Ladies, ladies. Ladies, ladies. Ladies. Ladies. Ladies. Ladies. Ladies. Ladies. Ladies. tits. tits. tits. tits. tits. tits. tits. tits. Ladies, tits. tits, tits, tits, ladies. Ladies, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, ladies, ladies, ladies, tits, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, tits, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, tits. Ladies, tits. I'm talking to the ladies.
Never trust a man who wears a pinky ring.
Never trust a man who wears a thumb ring.
You have to look out for these things.
That's it. That's all I want to say.
I feel like some of our listeners are younger than me and they need this information.
Yeah. You know, as a person who is fuck someone wearing a thumb ring and just been like, oh no,
this was a mistake.
No, never fuck someone wearing a thumb ring.
Kids?
Can you put that, that, that music behind?
The delightful music?
Kids?
Kids, don't fuck someone wearing a thumb ring or a pinky ring, but mostly a thumb ring.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Hmm.
So, Bruce Campbell's being interrogated by Tom Atkins and Captain Riley, and then his solicitor
comes in and is like, nope, ah, he's mine, I talked to him, you don't talk to him, and the
cops are like, oh, dagnab it, leave. Yeah. And then the captain, the captain, the captain, thetalked to him, you don't talk to him and the cops are like, oh, dagnabit, leave.
Yeah. And then the captain and Tom Mackens fuck off to a bar.
Yeah, they do. They just go and have a drink. Yeah. Yeah. Also, like this
motherfucker wouldn't cover it up. He's like, it must be a cop. No, this mother fucker would cover it up. Hey, ayah, yoy.
We cut to a, like, news footage of regular people on the street.
And they're like, I see a cop, I'm out of here.
And I was like, yeah, fucking good advice.
Imagine if news broadcasts really said this kind of stuff, where we need to be cautious.
We need to be aware of shitty cops.
They'll never say that.
No.
Mm-mm.
They'll tell you look for the helpers.
Yeah.
Oh, don't you bring Mr. Rogers into this?
Sweet, sweet Mr. Rogers.
So, Tom Atkins finds out that Bruce Campbell's, the woman he was cheating with is also a cop. Because Bruce Campbell's like, I don don't want you to know who it is, but it's Teresa Mallory.
Yeah.
I don't, like, I don't want to ruin her career,
but also here's her full fucking name.
Social Security number and where she is tonight with crimped
the crimped.
She's trimped hair forping. Rest of the movie, full grimp. So she's doing like a vice undercover thing where she's outside a bar called the Star
Garden.
Which is what I call my vagina.
My vagina is a star garden.
So I'm offended by you saying that.
But I also think it's a dick of her to be out here fucking up all these other
working women.
I think they're all supposed to be cops. Oh, they're all cops.
When Tom Deckons tries by, they're like, hey, Tom.
Unless he's just down there regularly.
I think he's fucking.
Yeah. I mean, he loves a little young lady, as we know.
Stargarden. But you know Tom Atkins to pay for Strange? that thr- thii. th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, their, th- their, their, their, their, th- th- thom, thom, thom, thom, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tom, tom, tom, tom, tom, tom, tom, tom, tom, tom, tom, tom, tom, tom, tom? No, it's true. Tom Atkins gets it for freight.
So she is, yeah, try, but she's also like,
the guy's like, this guy pulls up,
she's like having a conversation, and he's like,
hey, what do you do for this?
And she's like, I don't know, you tell me, what do you want me to do for how much? And he? And he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he's, and he's, and he's like, and he's like, and he's like, and he's like, and he's like, and he's like, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, try? try? try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try, try. try, try, try, try, try? to, to, to, for how much?" And he's like, are you a cop? And she goes, yep, you got me.
She blows it so fast. And it's just like, she works as hard as I do at being a cop as like I would in any other job
I've ever had, which was like, well, that's all I can do today. I mean, I gave it my everything
and it's noon and I cannot give anymore.
So then she goes around the corner to have a smoke as you do.
And she sees all 12 foot 12 of maniac cops standing in the alleyway.
And she's like, Rick? Is that you Rick? Yes, she thinks it's another cop that it was supposed to be backing her up, I guess. Yeah, I guess.
But then she gets choked for the maniac cop.
Yeah.
And then she shoots the maniac cop and it don't do nothing.
She's like a bunch of times.
In the face.
Yeah.
I thought it was only in his vest because I was like, okay, everybody just Yeah. But then later they're having a conversation at a bar.
Well, yeah.
And she's just like, you can't say it's the best.
I shot him in the face, too.
Yeah, she's very sure that she hits him in the head twice.
But why does that not hurt him, Alan?
Oh, because he's a media cop?
He's a maniac cop? what? Maniac Cup? Okay. Humaniacal. All right. So then... She says he wasn't breathing. How did
you notice that? Okay, all right. Because there would have been air coming out when she shot
him. Like you shot a balloon? Yeah. She would have shot around the room. So then I must have missed
something. Okay. Because Tom Ackins got some information about this lady having information about Maniac
Cop?
This is Sally.
This is Sally.
With the leg brace that he's never noticed even though she's very conspicuous.
Apparently also on a few episodes of Seinfeld.
Oh no shit.
Who was she on Seinfeld?
I don't want.
Okay, fine, fine. Okay, fine. I was just like, where do I know her from? Oh, she was on Seinfeld. That's it.
Um, she, he immediately is like antagonistic with her and he's like, hey, you know Teresa Mallory?
Yeah. Well, she got attacked by the mania cop.
And this lady's like, oh no, the maniac cop. And someone says she's she's a she she she she's a she's a she's a she's a she's she's a she's a she's a fine she's she's she's a fine she's she's she's a fine she's a fine she's a fine she's a fine she's a fine she'siac cop. And someone says she's a fine girl and I just thought about like
Such a fine girl, what a good one. What a good one? What was that April wine? No, it's fucking
glass. Looking glass. Every time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Because I think this is the finest song ever written is brandy.
Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. thi. thi. th. th. this is. this is. this is. this is. this is. this is. this is. this is. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. written? Finest song ever written. Wow! Wait, just give it a listen. It's like you haven't heard Free Will by Rush.
Dude?
You still have made a choice. So he has this weird interaction with her and she's like, yeah, well, I guess I'm just gonna go about my business.
And he follows her.
With her like way too small cane,
she needs a cane that is much taller.
She goes to a terminal, on a pier.
Yeah.
She's on the docks because of course she is.
Yeah, because where else you're gonna hide a maniac cop? Or who, with maniac cop or who or whatever? Okay, both. She goes and she goes
and kisses his rubbery-robery makeup hand. Why is his hand so weird? I don't. Because he
got cut up in prison. On his hand? Yeah, yeah, he sliced them all over.
So she goes to meet with maniac cop and she's like, I thought you were just going to beat up the bad guys.. Yeah, th, th, th, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, th, okay, th, okay, okay, th, okay, okay, okay, th, th, okay, okay, th, okay, okay, th, okay, th, they, they, they, they, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, th. tho. Yeah, tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. over. So she goes to meet with Maniakop and she's like,
I thought you were just gonna beat up the bad guys.
Now you're killing all these normal people.
She's upset, yeah, she's upset.
But she's still like, I love you.
But she's also like, you'll be free to get to the mayor and the commissioner.
She wants them dead, yeah, yeah. Well, he wants him dead too because they set him up and put him in prison.
I guess.
But also he was a dirty car up, right?
Yeah, you should have gone to prison.
And he was also like, they're like, well, put your protective custody.
He's like, no, I'm the baddest guy ever.
Wom-wom.
Until you're not, mother fucker.
So the lady shoots to Tom Atkins when he knocks out for a a a to a to a to a to a the to a the lady shoots to Tom Atkins when he knocks over a piece of wood like a big old dummy.
And we find out from some other guy who's an exposition dump that she was Cordell's girlfriend.
Does somebody say that? Yeah, yeah. And when he goes to get information out of the newspaper
clipping room. Yes, before that though, they're on the docks and whenever there are gunshots,
which is Sally's shooting at McCray, the gunshot noise just says,
Blam, blam, blam.
On the Tubie subtitles, which I loved quite a bit.
What else would the sound be? Of course it's blam. Blam. Blam. Blah. Blah! Yeah, because there there, there, there, there, there, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, there's there's there's there's there's there's the the the there's the the, the, the. The. the, the, the, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Blam, blam. Yeah, because there's a lot of gunshots.
So, cut to Maniac Cop laying down and remembering his time and sing-sing.
Yeah, this whole fucking...
Oh, God. He's on the mullet ward.
Yeah, well, I mean, it's 1980, every ward is the mullet ward.
He has some, when he's walking the ward, everyone in the cell block is just
staring at him like, hurrah-ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff. It's because he's so buff I think, and
Harry and has, I would assume a good butt because it's like,, butts, buts, buts, no butts. No butts.
He was a Chippendales dancer, IRL.
Really?
One hundo, I believe that.
Because I thought I saw his dong at one point.
Did you think he saw his dong? I didn't. I mean, I wasn't, I wasn't pausing and rewinding or anything like that, but like, but I, but I, but I, but I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I wasn't like, like, I wasn't like, I wasn't like, Ithought maybe for like one second. Katie, you know the internet's out there right you can just type in don't.
Be pleasantly or unpleasantly surprised. I just like a surprise dog. Well no you don't.
Don't say that because the internet is. Look Alan tooks the email you're only sending a surprise
dong to Alan and he doesn't want that. I don't. I'm sure your hog is great. I just don't need to see it.
Look, it's a great hog.
Kevin?
You all got a great tits of great hoff.
Don't send them to us.
We're doing this this thing.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck.
So, I love that he has a memory of himself from behind showering, which I think is fucking hilarious. Yeah, I mean he saw this from outside his own body.
Every time I shower, it's an out of body experience.
Really?
You're like, what is that man doing in that water tower?
Oh, what a beautiful back.
He gets, he gets attacked by a bunch of mulletmen and they slice him up real good.
Yeah, I mean, it takes a long time.
Yeah, he's a big man.
It's a lot of slash.
I mean, you have to, yeah, he's a big man.
He's a proto-maniac, pro-goast.
He's a proto-gau-gau-ma.
thin.
toookins and Teresa Mallory. And then Tom Mackins is like, hey, I'm gonna peel out if you guys want to make out for a little while.
I love to fuck. I know you do too.
Yes.
It's so much like, all right, so you guys are having an illegal affair.
Yeah.
And also just like.
Wait, her affairs illegal?
Oh, sure.
Sure. No.
And especially when your co-workers as cops. What?
Well, then you're going to hate second, season two of blue lights.
Pie told me that she's been watching blue lights.
Yes!
Because you recommend it, she's like, it's fine.
But also stupid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Joy.
Great.
I think that was actually my selling point when I was telling you about it.
Whatever, she's using my Britbox and your shutters.
Oh, so yeah, Tom goes to the record room, gets some of the information about the ex-girlfriend,
and then looks at a computer that just has maniac cop.
Who typed that there?
I'd like to think it was maniac cop, just fuck it with him.
Yeah, so we learned that, okay, so we learned from another cop,
we see in this scene and this scene only,
that maniac cop, Matt Cordell,
yeah, had a girlfriend.
And he's like, yeah, she threw herself out of a window trying to kill herself. She's also a cop.
No mention of the fact that she still works there with them and has a name.
Her name is Sally.
You might know Sally.
She's, you might have seen her in the like, the fucking break room.
He goes to Sally's office, starts rooting around in Sally's purse.
Yes. She does. to Sally's office starts rooting around in Sally's purse. Yes! And then she beats his ass with her cane.
Yeah, she does.
Do cool in a woman's purse ever.
No, his hand is fucked up from her hitting him.
Yeah, super fucked up.
Yeah.
Oh, and then the maniac comes in,
and she's like yelling at Tom Atkins that he's ruined it.
Now the maniac cop's gonna come for her? Yes, she says like he knows, he knows you're here,
he knows I'm no good to him anymore.
What does that mean, Alan?
Well, previously, she was an unknown quantity in the police department,
except for anyone who talked to this guy?
What is her job?
Hmm.
Genuantly, what is happening in this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie is the next note I have.
So, Maniac Cop beats her to death against a wall for a long time.
Yeah, Maniac Cop is really shitty to Sally.
And then whips Tom Atkins' ass. Yeah.
And then Bruce Campbell and Teresa.
Teresa.
Come out of the make-out cell, and I guess the conjugal visit cell.
And they find that there's like 30 dead cops in the precinct now because maniac cop is killing everybody.
Yeah, he's hanging them. He's doing whatever the fuck he feels like.
And also when Bruce Campbell and Teresa run by these cops, they never check to see if
any of them are alive.
No, they just assume they're dead.
And also like, yeah, fuck cops.
So Teresa goes outside to get in a car, to drive away.
Yeah.
She gets in the car.
And Tom Atkins gets thrown out the window onto the car next to her. I am shocked that Tom Tom th th th th th th th th th thens thens thens thens thens thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoes. thoes. thoes. I thoes. I thoes. I thoes. I thoes. I thoes. thoes. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. toes. the window onto the car next to her. I am shocked that Tom Atkins dies in this way.
I feel like we don't see Tom Atkins die very often, period?
No.
Especially not such a, like a dis, I don't know.
It was like very, not.
Not an Atkins way to die.
Not an Atkins. No, no.
Yeah, he's uh, he's dead and that, uh... And that's it, that's it for Tom Atkins. We never see Tom Atkins again.
That's a wrap on Atkins!
Yeah, he's gotta go do, uh, what was he doing in 88?
Oh, I don't know, that would have been too late for escape from New York.
Yeah.
I don't know, doing a bunch of-
Just chilling, the incline a couple times, get a Permanny sandwich, Junc, Iron City. Have a salad with some fries on it.
Hell yeah, you ever had a steak salad with fries on it?
So fucking good.
Salads kind of suck.
Put fries on him, am I right?
Absolutely.
Put a little ranch on there.
So all the cops are on board that Bruce Campbell is the killer. And he's running by these two cops that are going to
try to arrest him and Bruce Campbell's like it's not me I'm the kill I'm not
the killer. And the one cop goes they both lay down on the floor he's like get
down on the floor faces on the floor and the one cop goes should we chase
him and the other one goes you heard him he's not the killer.
It's so good. This is that brotherhood of cops hiding each other.
I mean, thin blue line, right?
Oh my God, I just loved.
You heard him, he didn't do it.
But also, like, the commissioner and the captain are so ready to put him in jail.
Oh my god, they just want to solve this crime.
So what does the couple that's on the lamb from the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the solve this crime. So what does the couple that's on the lamb from the police do?
They hang out around the police station for a while?
Well then they go to Sing Sing Prison.
And they pretend to be Tom Atkins.
The guy they talk to, his hair is a wispy wish.
I always think about you, you're a combovers as being wispy wish. And whenever I see a pregnant woman a combover, I think about it being wispy wish, yeah.
Whenever I see a pregnant woman, I think you got raw dogs.
We have given each other so much.
Ways to judge the other people.
So they go to visit this dumb-ass fucking thi-shit doctor.
Yeah, I don't know what his fucking deal is. They're like, so, like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, w. the, wo, the, the, the, th, th, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the th. I th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, thick, th't know what his fucking deal is. And they're like, so like, what did you do with Cordell after he died? And he's
like, I'm just a doctor, I just sew him up and send him out. I don't take care of
anything. I don't fucking know if they're dead. I signed a death certificate. Are they
dead? And then he's like, yeah, he wasn't dead. I figured he wasn't dead. So like, yeah, you know, I just kind of like, let him go. Yeah, so I just kind of like,
ninnin, ninn. Like, you know, when you like forget to do something at work and you're like,
I'll just brush this under the rug body. Oh my God, he wasn't dead.
No, he wasn't dead.
Cordell wasn't dead.
Here's where I have-
We get a flashback of him doing CPR with a sheet still over Cordell's face,
which I think, like, if you're really trying to bring someone back to life,
take the sheet off their fucking face. He's so nasty looking, oh, I'm th, I I I I I I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's tho, he's th. He's th. He's th. He's, he's th. He's the, he's the, he's the, he, he, he's th. He, he, he, he's th. He, he's th. He, he's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, we thi's thi's thi's toge. He's toge. He's the. thi's thean. He's thean. He's the. He's that breath. And the sheet is soaked. And I was like, is there no other sheet?
We have another sheet?
One sheet per person.
Here's where I have the series of notes.
It's St. Patrick's Day.
Oh no, Katie.
What's up, Sam Ramey?
I wrote here, ooh, St. Patrick's Day?
I'm not gonna say a fucking word. But then I wrote cop drinking beer on the sidewalk, L-O-L.
I love that because that's actual footage of a cop getting yelled at play.
It's another cop for drinking beer on the sidewalk.
And I thought that was very funny.
So Sam Ramey is a reporter on the street, which I thought was very cute.
Yes, I like that. And Teresa goes to
see the Commissioner because she's trying to get Bruce Campbell off you know
after she got him off earlier. Sure. And the cops. The parade is 95% cops. Yeah.
Yeah. And there was. There was a voicemail message that was left by Tom Atkins.
That was like hey
Commissioner Captain Riley, I have some information
The maniac cop is a cop and his girlfriend is a cop
She's an accomplice who's also a cop so if you know anyone who fits the description
Can you think of anyone it might be Bruce Campbell and he's a fair partner.
These people that I've been trying to help.
So they arrest Teresa. They just arrest her.
And then they leave her with nasty cop.
Yeah, he's short and he's got a mustache.
So in the 80s, you know that's bad.
And he's like, so what's the rush?
Why don't we hang out here for a while? And I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh sexually a salty cop. No, no, no. We have the commissioner's office all to ourselves.
Ugh.
Yeah.
And then, uh, maniac cop comes in,
kills the commissioner and the captain.
So, yeah, so like at least maniac cop does a good job shutting this guy up.
Because she's cuffed to drag the cop around.
She does. But where is Maniac Cop while all of that is going on? Well he's going to
kill the commissioner and Captain Riley in a subtle almost off-sea screen
scene that happens. Yeah. Oh man. So she throws a desk chair through the window and gets out on the roof, but uh-oh, maniac, cop is here.
And also when the dust chair lands, it lands right in front of Bruce Campbell and all the
other cops on the street go, hey, that's that guy!
Bruce Campbell!
But also then, she is a stuntman and a blonde wig, which is so graceful and so feminine and so delicate. I think it's a same stuntman that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, and thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu-and, thu-a, thi, thi, thi, thi, thu-a, thu-a, thu-a, thi, thu-a, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi-a, thi, thi-a, thi-a, thi-a, thi-a, thi-a, thi-a, thi-a, thi-s thr-s thr-s thr-s thr-s, thr-s, thr-s''a'a'-s'a'a'-s'a'era'er-s'er-s thr-s thr-s thr-s the same son man that was Tom Atkins early too. It is a bulky, bulky man.
She gets out on the ledge and she's getting away from Maniac Cop.
And then Bruce Califle gets put into a van.
And then Maniac Cop steals the van with Bruce Campbell in it.
Yeah, yeah, because that's a thing that happens in this movie.
Maniac Maniac Cop is just gonna do this.
Also at this point when the van is driving around,
the subtitles just said, room.
It's like they were subtitling it for a child.
Because at one point, like, they pick a lock or something and it just says,
k-a-N-K.
Did you have on comic book subtitle?
It was so good, 2B is so good.
When Maniac Cop steals this fan who's driving away, he gets stuck in traffic, and Maniac
Cop starts honking, and it's the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen in a movie.
Maniac Cop is so mad in traffic.
Like, he wouldn't just bust through people, he just honks.
He just honks.
Oh man, and then there's car chase that I said is on par with the car chase and peanut butter
solution.
It goes on forever.
Peanut butter solution.
I have a bag of sugar.
I'm out of sugar.
Guys, go back and listen to our peanut butter solution episode because not a lot of people
did, but also you really ought to, because it's very fun.
First time Celine Dion had a song in English, go listen to it.
The first time Celine Dion had a song in English, how fucking dare you, you fucking
idiots.
So they go to Pier 14, which we've heard at least 37 times is gonna crumble because it's fallen
apart. Sure. And then a mani cop's gonna ask Tom or Bruce Campbell a question. He's gonna
axe him a question. You're gonna ask him a question. Because apparently he knows
how to drive a car, honk a horn. Well yeah because he's just a guy.
But he doesn't understand how doors work so he has to use an axe to get into the car. That's true. to which I wrote he I I I I I I I I I I I hea hea hea hea hea hea hea. hea. hea. hea. hea. He hea. He hea. He's hea. He's hea. He's hea. to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to use. He's the to use. He's the to the to to the to the to the to the to to the to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the car. That's true. Oh yeah, yeah. To which I wrote, will we ever
see Maniac Cop's face? And then I wrote, there it is, and it's just okay I'd say. Yeah,
it looks like he just says like really bad acne. Yeah, yeah, he's got a lot of
acne scars. Yeah, I think Robert Zadar's chin is doing a lot of the heavy lifting in this makeup. But it's fun, it's fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun, it's thi it's fun, it's fun, it's fun, it's fun, it's fun, it's fun, it's fun, it's fun, it's fun, it's fun, it's fun, it's fun, it's fun, it's fun, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it, it's like, it, it's like, it's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. It's thi. It's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, it's thi. th makeup. But it's fun, it's great. I mean he's scary because he's a giant dude.
We're terrifying people. Giant dudes? I'm not scared of you. No, you shouldn't. I can take you in a fight. No, of course you can. Listen, listeners, EMTs, you can take Alan in a fight.
Not all of them. I mean, some of them. Or are they bigger than me? They're not bigger than me.
Nobody's bigger than me. So there's this like, like, like driving and fighting scene that happens with maniac cop.
And he eventually gets a, uh, uh, uh, fucking mast from a ship driven through his chest or something?
Yeah, I don't know how that happens. He like drives into a pole and impales himself and then drives off the pier and then Brisk Campbell
goes flying to which I wrote, what a weird end. But the movie ends with the
cops being like pulling the van out of the water and then be like, where's Maniac Cop?
I mean, he's obviously going to be in several more movies, so... Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah his hand comes up out of the water the end the
end the end mania cop oh maniac cop I love you yeah Katie Alan ratings face
oh my god this movie's so dumb
I was like one of the dumbest things I've seen recently oh so delightful to watch
something so dumb again I mean mean, it's so fucking stupid.
Like every bit of it, even if they were trying to do like a cop thing where
cops are going to solve the crime, like we watch a lot of that on television.
This did not do that. It's bad. This is a bad movie. And four. Four, funk that.
This movie is a solid seven.
How fucking dare you.
I'm just thinking this movie, again, it goes into my 3M high on Twizzlers, film watching,
like, you're not going to go wrong with those movies.
But nothing happens in this movie.
Yeah, but it's ridiculous.
Everything that does happen is super silly. Yeah, but it happens over the course of five minutes.
And the maniac cop honked a horned to horny.
And you only see maniac cop at the end and you're like, oh God, you didn't have money for this.
You didn't have money for effects.
No, of course they didn't.
No, it's bad ask me that.
And now I'm gonna have to look it up.
You're gonna look it up.
Do, tip-dee, da-dup-tip-du.
That would be Matthew P.
Thank you, Matthew P.
to suggesting this movie.
It's bad. Thank you, Matthew P.
to suggest thisthe next one where there's the Media Cop rap rap.
Do you want to do a Maniac Cop to you next week? What I want to do real quick is a
couple short shoutouts to Patron's. Okay great let's shot all these Patron. This one says just joined up. you want to give me a shout out to the the. to. to just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. to you. to you. to you. to to you. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to you. to to to to to to to to to you. to you. to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you. to you to you. to you to you. to you to you. to you. to you. to you. to you. to you to you. to you. to you to you to me to me to me. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the to the to to the to the to to to to to to to the mani. Andrew from Asheville, North Carolina would work. Andrew, I hear Asheville, North Carolina as a wonderful city.
I've never been there and I've always wanted to visit.
I hear it so fucking great.
Yeah, I like that place.
Can I come visit you, Andrew?
Can I stay with you?
Can I sleep on your floor? I'm fucking love you guys. Oh, fucking love you too, Andrew. And this is from Jeff. Hi, Jeff. Jeff.
Jeff says, do you tell Patrons when you're, we'll be giving them their shout out?
I just want to make sure I don't miss it.
Jeff, it's today.
Jeff, Jeff, don't fucking miss it, it's today.
to do it.
And now I'm more drunk and I don't remember.
Tom Cruise, the money.
Oh, fuck!
Oh, God damn it.
Somebody reminded me today that it existed and I was like, hell yeah.
Is it a horror movie?
It's the mummy.
Well, we haven't done Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, Br Br Bromen, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th,. Well, we haven't done Brendan Frazier's the mummy. Yeah, but we're gonna do Thomas Cruisington's.
Oh, God, I don't want to look at Tom Cruise.
You love Tom Cruise.
Do I?
Yeah, rubbing his mummying.
I do, look, just because I love Days of Thunder, because I love Robert Duval, and
I think that's fucking fair.
And I love the guy who played Henry Portia serial killer his name, I never remember.
Never, and I'm not gonna tell it to you now.
It's Michael Rooker.
It is Michael Rooker.
You got it, you got there in the end.
That's a great fucking movie.
I don't like Tom Cruise.
The American Classic.
Fuck Alan. Let me out of the car, call it, let me out of the car. Listen, I regret this already.
It's never too late to say no, except we just said what we're doing.
It's too late to say no.
NAR.
It's me Nicole Kidman, and I'm saying, NAR.
All right, we're doing fucking, oh my god, we're doing the mummy.
It's not Brandon Frazier, mummy.
I feel like we've done a lot of really good movies recently,
so we deserve something bad.
Although you just did Maniac Com.
That was a bad movie.
All right, fine, we're doing Tom Cruise the Mummy.
Yeah, come back to see a movie that ruined a franchise.
I am so upset right now that I agreed to this. I feel like, I feel like I was I was I was I was I was I was I th th th th th I was th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like I was th like th like am so upset right now that I agreed to this.
I feel like I was, I feel like I was taken for a ride.
Do you want to swap it out for Brendan Frazier's the mummy?
Nah, it's too late now.
Although that one's probably shorter.
And also has a woman, Rachel Vice, who I love.
Sure. It is the only celebrity other than Ashley Simpson that I've ever been told I look like. Oh, I can see that.
Yeah, and she's gorgeous.
And Ashley Simpson, before she got that nose job, looked a lot like me.
Katie.
Alan.
Brandon Frater's the mummy?
Yeah.
14 minutes longer than Tom Cruise's.
Thank you, Alan.
I love you.
Come back next week for Tom Cruise.
Maybe the mummy. Wait, what else are we?
Wait, you can it has to be something.
Just a Tom Cruise bio-pick.
It's called Cruise Control, you're going to love it.
It's called I am five inches taller than this man.
Me too.
If you want to get with us on the internet, we are no longer really on social media.
Although someone tagged me in a Twitter post this week that I really fucking loved and
it made me very happy, which was that the Republican Party thought that J.D. Vance
would appeal to people in Pennsylvania.
And somebody, it was a meme that just basically said like, yeah, if there's one thing I know
about people in Pennsylvania's how much they love Ohioans, and someone was like, I thought of
Katie, and I'm like, I fucking love you.
So you can get at us on Twitter, we probably may or may not see it.
Yeah, I, after I found out that Musk is donating $45 million a month to Trump's campaign,
I completely. How is that legal because you can't thiiiiiiiiii thi thi thi it it a thi it thi it thi it was a thi it was a thi??? It was a thi, it was a thi, it was a thi, it was a thi, it was a thi, it was a thi, it was a thi, it was a thi, it was a thi, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was, it was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was a th. I was a thi. I was a thi, it was a thi, it was a thi, it was a thi, it was a thi, it was a thi, it was a thi, it was a thi, I was a thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm like, I'm like, campaign, I completely... How is it legal because you can only donate like $3,600 to any candidates? Oh because he's a billionaire. Oh, yeah. But if you want
to get with us, you can be a Patron at Patreon.com back slash where all of
ambulance. You can also email us at Whereolf Ambulance at Gmail. to the one.
He sends me the good ones. I do like that you refer to it as getting with us.
Getting with us, you know, you want to see our butts?
You guys want to wrap?
You guys want to wrap?
You want to see your butts and just...
Yes, what getting with someone is.
You see their butt?
I'm sorry I showed't been taking were will family owns very seriously lately.
And I promise next week I will.
You're doing great.
It's summertime.
It's summertime Katie's a different animal.
Can you know?
You're in your were warewool face right now.
It's a full moon and no one can stop me.
Also, Alan handed me a 24 ounce, I see.
the negative alcohol content. I'm actually, it's like celery.
Thanks so much for listening to another episode of Whe Ambulance. Bye. Bye. Maniacs in our dead pools, Savini's sightings at the pool.
No way to wait for him, let's keep our film reviews.
Killing clouds and land the face.
Killing him in outer space.
Our parents are a basket case.
Please make a guy keep in your grave.
END
Marlowe and comedy reviews hungry,
hungry, Brian from wings and Stephen Kang.
EADD.
We live deliciously bad temperatures obese, crazily contended.
A paranormal act of activities from the street by true by true city, EFT, EFT.