Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 486- Spookies (1986)

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

In this week's episode, we're discussing the schlockiest of 80s schlock and loving every second of it with the 1986 supernatural (?) haunted house (??) movie (???) "Spookies." Special topics for your consideration include: the joining of two movies into one, being unclear on people's relationships with one another, Duke the horny ghost, and some of the most fun and most dookie special effects we've ever seen. This movie came recommended to "fans of 'Chopping Mall'" so I absolutely must suggest you go listen to that episode-- it's Episode 174. The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes. The most recent episode covers "Red Dawn" and holy shit did we have differing opinions of that movie!   leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD  buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.   If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.

Katie. I was like, I was going to stop at the store and buy us snowballs for this episode. Oh my god. Katie. the store and buy us snowballs for this episode. Oh my god. But then I had a sense memory of biting into a snowball and I was like, I don't need type 3 diabetes. I can't do this right now. Type 3 diabetes you can only get from snowballs. Just that thick

layer of whatever it is that coats a snowball cake. It's you got coconut and stuff. Mar- Sma-shmallow? And then cake. Can you hear the finger quotes around? Cake? It's got two syllables for some reason. It's cake. Cake. I didn't stop and get us those. I have nothing. You've given me nothing. Uh, friendship? Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, that's fair. And I have given you text messages telling how much I loved you because you brought this movie

into my life. I mean, and I love you because clearly I would not have chosen this movie ten years ago. Ten years ago I would have burned your house down for making me watch this. You say that. But the spawning of our horror movie relationship was you doing that fantastic blog. The MS paint drawings of horror movies, yeah. And you being like, oh I need a new movie and I was like, oh, you should do mausoleum. Oh, yes. And you being like, afterwards, you're like, yeah, that movie is fucking great. It's so good. Yeah, all right. I mean I did choose this movie because it was for quote fans of chopping mall, which as you know is one of my faves.

And I feel like if you like chopping mall, if you like mausoleum, this movie is gonna take all your boxes. Do you need a storyline? Good fuck your. No, there's no what do you need characters to interact convincingly? No? No. Do you need basically a movie that is just the The Hydrox to Fulch's O O O O O O O O O the the the the the the the the the C C C C C C? C? C? the C? the C? the C? the C? the C? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? It thi? It is thi? thi? thi? It's thi? It's thi? It's thi? It is one thi? It is one thi? It is one thi? It is one thi? It is one thi? It is one thi? It is one thi? thi? It is one thi? th. It is one th. It is one th. th. It is one th. th. th. th. th. It is one th. It is one thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th movie that is just the, the, the hydrocks to Fulch's Oreo? It is exactly 85 minutes. All it needed for a box office release. Do you know the history of this film? I don't. Did you read anything about it? I do not. You know how it feels like there's two distinct films going on in this movie? No, but go on. I don't, I feel like there's no distinct films happening in this movie. Zero. Not even the film itself. No, no, not the one.

No. So there is the whole subplot of the little boy running away from home? Well, is that a subplot the sub plot thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, no. thi, no. thi, no. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the then there's the whole thing with the teen and adult teachers. That's definitely her stepdad, right? She's fucking her stepdad. This is a penthouse forum movie. I never thought it would happen to me. My stepdaughter invited me out with her friend Duke. Duke of the many zippered leather pants. I love those pants. Oh my God. Tell me more. So the Duke film and the Little Boy film are two completely different things

that were then mashed together to make a complete movie. I feel like they could have been mashed a bit better. Like if there had been any purpose for Billy to have been there. So all the scenes with the cat man? The little like tree dwell like a monster man? Yes. And when he's like sneaky around staring at them but he's never in the same shot as them? Yeah. Because he's not in the same movie. He's not in the same movie as the same movie as them is he? No, it was all like pick up shots to like make a movie after the original movie lost funding and they just had the footage so it was like, well what if we brought Ricky in and did this movie? We'll just weave

it in. Oh my god even in the last scene he's not... No! Oh my god! That's incredible! this movie is incredible. It's phenomenal and I am very ashamed because I watched it on Monday. Today is now Friday. And none of my notes make any sense to me. I watched it on Sunday, so I'm even further out. B-moaned. So, but also, like, this movie got me like thinking real hard about B movies. And like, as per our, um, Patreon episode, I tried watching the remake of Red Dawn from 2012.

Was it worse than the one that we watched? Because who boy? Yeah. Really? It's worse. It has got a way bigger budget, and it's way more terrible. And believe, unbelievably, more unfeasible than the first one. Oh my god. I mean I don't want to I don't want to crack that egg right now but.

We have not recorded that episode. I am furious with the Patron. Could have done Jim Carter. Could have done Jim Carter. A movie I adore. A movie very similar to this one. The amount of times we could have said, um-do Jim-Kada, um-Dum Jim-Kada, Ay-ya, ah-uh. I love that. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

You know, I'm glad we didn't do Jim-Cada. We would have done that too many times. It wouldn't have been funny But anyway the Red Dawn remake it was absolute trash because they had more money Oh, and just like because there was no heart to it on like Spookies which we're talking about right now. I like the idea of telling me that they just mush-two movies together because they didn't want to lose the footage and also that's full of heart. It's? I the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their. their. It's their. It's their. It's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. It's. their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. their. their. tr. their. tr. tr. tru. true. true. true. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. of heart. It's a scrappy little underdog upstart movie. It's basically Martin Scorsese, it loves cinema. Well I mean to be fair it does use the Godfather font for the Spookies title card now is like nice, nice get in there best picture winner. Will fleet Spookies. Yes and I love the fucking skull that is part of the logo as well I love it. Like they're a shit-ass local metal band th-wea the th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. the their. their. their. th. th. th. their. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.they're a shit ass local metal band. Yes, we should start a shit ass local metal band called Spookies and take that skull. Should we? 100%? I will do it. Will Rob play drums? Yeah, I hate metal though. So we

open on a cemetery and then there's this like a grave marker that's pulsating and very rubbery and shamed. Yeah, it's a tomb in the ground that's cha-s their their thuuuuuucusedededed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's pulsing. It's pulsing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's pulsating. It's pulsating. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.'s pulsating and very rubbery and shade. It's a tomb in the ground that's chained shut. But it's pulsating. Yeah, it's pulsating and some of the ground next to it is pulsating. It's a little wiggly around it, that much is true. This is where you see that three directors also wrote and produced this movie. Three, three of them. I love that the Duke movie had two directors and they had to bring in a third one for the other stuff. I love that.

Good Lord. We go into a creepy house with candles and a casket and a person with their back to the camera. Talking to the casket. In the casket is a bride, a beautiful young bride. Yeah. I believe I referred to her as a smoke show. She is a smoke show. And this person who is talking to her is talking about how all the victims are for her. And she's sleeping.

She's like sleepish. I feel like she kept opening her eyes and being like, is this scene over yet? Whoops, nope. Did you mime cut? No, you did. No, no, no. I'm, it's me, Isabel. Cut, too, a little kid walking in the woods. What is this small child doing?

I love him so much. He's a little kid that's dressed like an old man dressed like a little kid. Remind me what he's wearing because in my mind it's like a varsity jacket. Backwards baseball cap, I think just like a gray Heather sweatshirt. Okay, yes, yes. And like, and you know he's got braces and he stops to have his little birthday meal. And he's, and he stops to have his little birthday meal. Hea, he's the aforementioned snowballs for his birthday and then I don't know pet arrest is waiting in a tree to talk to him you talk about Bunko Kiefer Sutherland in the lost voice because that's exactly what this man looked like give an old man a light you know

get away from that old man and as any self-respecting 11 year old wood in 1986 as a 12 year old I can vouch for this you got a zip to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toeo in your pocket. Yeah, of course you do. The guy says to him, take my advice kid, go home, and he, Billy says, no way, I have plans, big plans. What? What are you talking about? Why are you here? He's going to Hollywood. He's I guess, but via... Wherever the fuck we are. Okay. Why are you here? He's going to Hollywood. He's, I guess, but via... Wherever the fuck we are. Okay. Then we cut to some scenes of D-bags driving around their cars. Uh, like, there's an old guy driving this one car with some younger people in it. This is Stepdad. This is Stepdad Rick. Yeah. And his stepdaughter

slash girlfriend whose name I don't know. I don't know anybody's names except for Duke of course. I did know at one point. And he's complaining about Duke and the other car because Duke's driving like a real jerk. Oh right over these pothole roads. And he like got in a fight at the party and they had to leave the party and I was like sir, you did not want to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. D. D. D. D. D. the. D. S. S. S. S. D. S. S. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. the, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the and they had to leave the party and I was like sir you did not want to be at that party you wanted to be home doing I don't know a fucking Sudoku so Sudoku or maybe looking at your taxes getting ready for tax season jerking it to some very soft corporn a new Lane Bryant catalog of the mail I'll be in the bathroom if anyone needs me and then maybe I'll do a Cosmo quiz to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the the the to the the to to the the the to to the to to to to to to to the the the the the to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the to be the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. tho. the tho. the tho. the tho. the thoo. tho. tho. I tho. I tho. I to tho. I to the. I'll be in the bathroom if anyone needs me. And then maybe I'll do a Cosmo quiz. Oh, yes. Find out what kind of lover you really are.

Cosmo's still around? Kids still getting to do Cosmo quizzes? No idea. I guess it's just BuzzFeed now, huh? I don't think that's even a thing anymore. Oh, really? I think we're on to the next one. Okay. Probably Cosmo again, I don't- Kids, where are you doing your sex quizzes? Kids, Cosmo still exist? How will you know 36 different ways to give a blowjob so that he'll never leave you? Because if you are left, then you're worthless, remember? Also, buy these pants.

Not to get political. But there's been all these stories about like Kamala Harris, like giving Beagers to get where she is today and stuff. And I'm like, I saw some headline that was like, she's had sex with so many people. And I just want to be like, she just sounds rat. She's so cool. It's like all the people that are like, yeah, Hunter Biden was like smoking dope with sex workers and going down water slides nude and I was like, he sounds thi....... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm like, the th. the th. I'm like, the th. I'm like, thi. I'm like, thi. I'm like, thi. I'm like, thi. I'm like, thi. I'm like, thi. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I's th. I's th. I's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's like, I's like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeeat theat theat thi. theat theat theeat theat theat thi. I'm like, I'm and I was like he sounds rad. I wish he was my best friend. Like I'm sure he's an insufferable prick but that is not what I'm mad about. That's not gonna stop me doing his cocaine and going down a water slide is it? No it isn't. Why are you mad for people

giving blowjob? Seriously you'd rather be hanging out with, what's his name, the Speaker of the House, whose son monitors his porn usage? You know this one? Mike Johnson? Even his son made sure neither of them are watching pornography. They're porn accountability, buddies. That is the bleakest thing I've ever heard. And the vice president Joe canada for the Republicans fucked couches.

Yes, I have heard that so many times. It must be true. It must be true on the internet. And we will continue to perpetuate that information here. So this kid gives the guy his zipo, the guy's lights a cigarette and then pockets the zipo. That's the the kid is is is the kid is the kid is the kid is the kid is the kid is the the th is th is the kid is so fucking is so fucking is so fucking is so fucking the kid the kid the kid the the kid the th. th. th. th. thi thiqqqqqqqqqq. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. the. thi. thi. the. zip and I was like damn. That's so fucking rude. The kid says I have a long road ahead. Like okay Ambrose Burnside, what do you do in? What are you doing General Sherman you march into the sea? What are you doing? Where's your long road?

I gotta get to Antietam. Yes, it's so fucking dumb. And so, Billy, the kid is like, all right, well, I'm going to go take off now and the guy's like, I'll see you later, Billy. I'm definitely going to fuck you later, Billy. It's so mean. So then when, like, there's a hook hand, goblin man watching this whole thing, whose hook is already bloody, what's he been doing? Did he wipe his thi? th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th th th th th. th. th. th. thi? thi? thi? thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. thi. And, thi. And, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to thi. to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi? I don't know. He forgot. No, that guy has to have a

bidet. You have a huday. You have a hookhand. You must have a bidet. Right? And I felt terrible ready hookhand so many times because I'm like, there are people who have, you know, but this guy has like a cartoonish hook hand. He has that like, on Halloween when someone is. He has like a cat person. He. He. He, he, he, he, he, he, I. He, I. He, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He has, he has, th. th. th. He, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has, he has a th. He has a th. He has a th. He has a th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. thi. He has a the. He hook hand that's like 11 feet longer than their arm is. Also he's like a cat person. Yeah, I mean he's not a normal person. We can say whatever we want about him. So I have a note that says hookhanded goblin kills the te'a'rass. the hand-handed goblin' turn into this? No, no, you got back. The pen-or-ass definitely falls into the screen all bloody

after Billy walks away. But what was he doing there? And then I wrote, what is anyone doing here? Myself included. What am I doing here? So we learned that the old man talking to a coffin is a wizard? His name is Creon. Yeah. If you're for a wizard if you're taking your very first pass.

If, if you're running a D&D campaign and you're like offhand and they're like, yeah, there's a wizard over there and your players are like, what's his name? What's his fucking name? Creon? He's part Cryon and part Freon. Leave him alone. They're like, what does he look like? He's part Cryon and part Freon. Leave him alone. Freon. They're like, what does he look like?

You're like, ah, he's gray. He's gray. You know, it looks like a half-ass Zacharley. He's fine. Everything's fun. You've met Zacharley before he was in, uh, oh, fuck. He was in one of the 478 movies we've done prior to this one? Which one? He played a weatherman.

That's all I remember. I don't remember what you were? Oh, is it the stuff? No, it was, um, it wasn't a William Lustig movie. It was, fuck it. Anyway, kids are hung up six months ago. So we cut back to the youngsters? I don't know, Alan. The grown-ass human beings.

The party people? Yeah, driving with road sodas. Driving with road sodas. Well, it's the, as a note, it's 1, the thiii. Six, you can't do it then, huh? Well, it's any time from like 1982 to 1986, I assume, by this movie's genital. Right, depending on when it was filmed. They are drinking road sodas and they're going to a party. But they're just going to Creon's house.

Yeah, they're just going, yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't like break down or anything. They're attending to go to Cree crea I was reading like different write-ups about this movie and like, a bunch of teenagers break down and I was like, A, no, B, no. No, they just fucking park in the driveway. Everyone is just coming to Freon's house tonight, Creon's house tonight. The kid, the drifter, the teens, the stepdad. Been here a thousand th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. No. No, no. No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. No, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they's, they's, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thi, no. No. No. No, no. thi. thousand times before. Why? And there's one guy who is in like a third movie. Who is that now? The guy who suddenly has a puppet? Oh my God, why is this man

real? He feels like the movie is having a fever dream. Yeah. The movie was like, I don't know, it's not funny enough. And they were like, oh, our friend Brian, he's got a puppet. And they were like, we've got nothing else. Nothing else. Oh, wait, no, a tree branch just drops in front of them. Remember that? Oh, right, right. Because the goblin cat man threw it in the road. I loved that scene.

You just see a branch just like, tossed into the road. So fucking funny. And Duke and the gang are like, what the fuck? Yeah, this is where you see that Duke is wearing an all-pleather space suit. Oh my god, he's so sweaty. He is so short. I mean, so sweaty. I love every second of Duke.

The amount of talcum powder that that man had to go through in this movie. I mean, to be fair, they filmed this all in one day, so it wasn't like it to keep putting it back on. Sure, but it was just a slurry by the end of the night. Oh yeah, so, so thick. I have a note that says, Practicing Cemetery Goblin, I have no idea what that is the name of a metal...................... Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the thi, the thi, the the the thi, they, they, they, they, they, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th..... Yeah, th.. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. thi. thi. thi. ta. toge. together, together, together, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they. thi. It's is thi. It's, that's the name of her metal bed that'll have the skull of the logo. I like that a lot. So the child is now going into the house. We're back in the children's, the children movie. He finds a room set up like a birthday party. So sad. He thinks it's a surprise party for him because he's dumb as a bag of wet hair. He is just, Billy. Like I don't like to say that a child deserves to die, Alan. I don't like to say that, but I will. Do you think when Billy ran away

from home his parents was like, fuck we're really dodged a bull at that time? Yes, they immediately packed up the car and took off. There's like a little toy robot walking around and I was like absolutely stolen by Skin of Morinke, you piece of shit. Am I wrong? They stole it from this movie, this classic of horror cinema. Oh man, I had completely forgotten about that movie. Raced it from my memory. I think about it regularly as an example of what hype can do for you.

Jesus Christ. What a piece of shit. Philly thinks the parties for him. How does he try to identify what's inside the boxes that are wrapped up for him? How does he try to identify Katie? What does he do? Is he shaking them? Nope. No, I don't know because I watch this movie five days ago. He picks it up and smells it. What's the smell like, Billy? You fucking idiot! Mom, dad, are you out there? Oh my God, it's so stupid. Like you want to feel sorry for a child whose birthday has been forgotten.

I feel nothing for Billy. He deserved it. He deserved it. That's what I'm saying. Billy deserves to die. He had... Mother of the year. No frill snowballs in his bag. So he opens the biggest box that's on the table with an ice pick. He has an ice pick in his pocket.

Why does he... Why did Billy bring an ice pick with him in his backpack? I assume for protection. I would have loved this movie a whole lot more if Billy had stabbed someone with that ice tick. Yeah. All right, go on. So he opens the big box. What's inside the box?

What's in the box? Well, actually, he doesn't open it with the ice pick because he doesn't open it with the ice-pick because that little creature steals the ice pick. Oh, that's closing this box. Yeah because I was just like screaming into my notes app about what the fuck Billy was doing. Why does he just have this ice pick? Okay. He opens the box and the wizard's head is in the box and it says, happy birthday, Billy! Happy birthday Billy! It is the old head in a box on a table trick and you know what I'm not mad at it for a second. I'm not mad. I would not be shocked to learn this entire movie was improvised. I mean the puppeteer definitely nobody wrote those lines for him.

He sucks so bad. Puppet comedy man. They all suck. There's not there is not a single good character in this movie except for maybe the spider lady. I like the woman who's smoking at all times. Oh yeah. I like her a lot because she's always smoking. Is she like indeterminately European? Yeah she's occasionally doing an accent. Yeah she's not Megan. Megan. I wrote come on on, Megan, bring your dad, so I guess that's... There are just way too many characters. I have a note this is, can you imagine being 40 in acting like this? Unbelievable.

I wrote here, Billy is a trash child and I don't care what happens to him. Lord help me if I raise a child with no survival instinct. So Billy runs out of the house because he's scared by the wizard head. Yeah, it's gonna take him a while to get out from under that table. Sure. He's got time. It's so stupid. Yeah. So, he runs outside and finds a pre-Dug grave.

Yeah. He gets all scratched up, Billy does. I, there was no way I thought this movie was gonna kill a child in the first 15 minutes. Graphically. Yeah! And stupidly, he gets really scratched up and pushed into the grave. Yeah, he's not dead though. No, I feel like he could have maybe gotten up.

It's taken quite a while to bury him alive. I don't know. It's a really shallow grave, and there's a little bit of dirt on me. And then as soon as he's covered in a little bit of dirt, you see his arms fall backwards, like, oh no, the dirt has killed him. Yes. So good. That's why you should never rubbed dirt in it. thi fucking are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Pour a little vinegar in there. Make pickles. What? Piss in your own wounds? It's sterile, right? I don't think so. No matter how many times the 90s try to convince me that no. I know I always say that I hate almost everyone in this movie.

thoooo. one in these movies, but my God, I detest everyone in this movie. Why? You even Duke? Even Duke? Oh, buddy. I mean, Duke's a little bit abusive to his girlfriend. But it's just a Scoge. Just a Scoge. She has such great boobs. Apparently, they wanted her to get naked and she was like, yeah, I'll do it, but I need

this much money to do it. And they they they they're they're like they're like they're like they're like th. need to do it and they're like keep them on! This movie made $17,000. That's surprising. Yeah. Excuse me nearly 18,000 17,000 and change. Oh that makes more sense. Round it up. Yeah. Oh my god. Um, there's there's lines like somebody does live here forever. What? What? Forever? What? What? Uh, Duke says, no, leave me alone. I don't want to do nothing, because he's thrown a little temper tantrum? Yeah, because he's 40.

He's 40 and throwing a temper tantrum because this other guy's older than him and wearing a suit? Like he just got off work? At the office where he's middle management He is 20 years younger than everybody else in this movie including the wizard or 20 years older Yeah for sure like why is he here? Why did they cast him to be her boyfriend is he the director? He's not he's not he's not he does not compare to anyone who? Had anything to do with making the movie.

That is shocking. I know. Can we talk about why the wizard has a dick vein in his forehead? Um, because he's mad, I think. Okay. Did you get a dick vein in your forehead when you're mad? Ah, no, I should probably. I'll look at it to it.

I'll talk to my PCP about it. I'm worried about you. I can't see the dick vein in my forehead when I'm mad. Is that a problem? Is it normal? Oh man. Something falls out of a box. It's a planchette. Yeah. But they don't know that because they're stupid. But it's like a cool planchett. Yeah, it's not a regular one. It's like spiky and stuff. It's like a th. th. th a wij-board. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And then Carol starts playing with the wijy-board? I think it's Carol, yeah, if you say so. And Carol asks that they'll ever leave the house? Yes. This is where we see the wizard, the wizard's big vein. Yeah, for sure. And then Carol turns into an applehead doll? Yeah, she showed only in three quarters profile.

And she, I don't know, no one's checking on her. She's just going hog wild. I wanted her to ask it how old that girl's stepdad is. The one girl asks it how old she is, and it says 24. And she's like, I am 24. And then she asks how long she's going to live, and it says 24. I liked that. Yeah, Carol asks, when can we leave?

It says never, to which I wrote, when can I retire? Will Duke and I always be together? No. Will we ever leave this house alive? No. Yeah, Carol's not right. What if it's a wiki board that can only give negative responses? I like that.

Yeah. I would like a sort of jeopardy sort of wigi board where you give it the answer and it gives you the question. What kind of can you give me an example of that? Yes, will I ever leave here? Exactly. What is will I ever leave this house? Headstone shoots out of the ground and burns the name of one of the party goers into it? Yes, and there's a fly on the camera in the scene, which I liked a lot. Doing it once. Come on, that was an expensive stunt. Something happens to the puppet man where he's unable to speak because I am celebrating it

in my notes that he's just not able to speak for a little while. Oh yeah, I don't even remember that. I don't that the guy whose name gets burned to the headstone runs outside and then gets sucked to the ground in front of his headstone. I, you know, I like it. Yeah. It's all right. So I mean the effects for the budget of this film, like the makeup and stuff are great. The makeup makeup the makeup the little the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that that toeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee toee that that that the the th great. The makeup is great, the little creatures are great, the farty monsters are my favorite thing I've seen in probably the last 10 years in a movie. Apparently one of the producers demanded that those monsters fart. I love that. They got a fought. They got a fought. They got a fought. I don't know if that's good. Nah, it'll be good.

You didn't put it over the puppet guy in here, it's got a fought more. So we see the British lady and her partner run out of the house. He gets only a few lines in this movie and he delivers them. Oh! He's given strong community theater vibes. So he's yelling for the back of the rose to hear what he's saying. He's committed. He's. He's. He's the the the the the the p, he's the p, he's the p, he's the p, he's the p, he's the p. He's put. He's put. He's put the p. He's put the p. He's put the p. He's put the pu pu pu pu pu pu pupupu. He's put the puppet. He's the pu pu pu pu pu pupup. He didn't the pu pu pu pu pu pu pu pu pu pu pu pup- the pu pu pu pu pu pu pu pu pu pu pu pu pu pu pu pu pu pu. He's the pu. He's the pu. He's the pu. He's the pu. He's the pu. He's the all. He's given strong community theater vibes. He's yelling for the back of the rows to hear what he's saying. He's committed. Yeah. Then they turn around and go back in the house. Don't go back in the house, you dip wads. It's not like the cars are broken down.

They can just leave. They could drag the, they could back out, theree branch. There's a lot of options here. There's like eight of them they could move the tree branch. You're right. We see some great goopy monsters. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They are these the fart monsters in the basement? No I think this is where they have all the poppy-outy eyeballs. Oh yeah. The one monster just has an eyeball on a stock? they they have. They they they they they they they they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have th they have they have they have they have th th th they have the the they have they have they have they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th the the the the the the poppy-outy eyeballs. Oh, yeah. The one monster just has an eyeball on a stock? Yeah, they had a two pack of those, because two different monsters have those.

I liked them. I really liked all the goopy monsters. Yes, they're great. Yeah. What if they had a movie around them? They'd be fantastic. That's true. And somehow that girl that girl that girl that girl that girl that girl that girl that girl that girl that girl's stepdad is just an expert on all of it somehow. Like he's very calm as if he's seeing this shit all the time at his insurance agency. This is why you date your stepdad.

He knows what's going on. That's right. Your stepdad will keep his cool when you guys are on a date and goopy monsters show up. It's so weird. It's so weird. Oh my god. . The coffin bride wakes up and she's like, I want to die and I was like, well aren't you already? What's going on? She says, Crian, I don't want you by my side. I don't

want you anywhere near me. And he's like, ah! And he starts being German at this point in the movie, and I am 90% sure he was not earlier. But he does a German thing for the entire rest of the film. I didn't even notice. He's doing a German thing. Well, Creon, that's a German name. Sure, I mean, it's definitely from somewhere in that region of the world. Oh, man. Carol is doing some more weird shit with the Weegee board or something. I don't know, I ignore Carol.

Duke falls into the basement. And I haven't note that says that says that says that says that says that says that says that says that says that says that says that says that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's that's a th. that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's. that's that's. that something. I don't know, I ignore Carol. Duke falls into the basement and I have a note that says, I'm Duke, the horny ghost. Yes, he does. He's just trying to fuck. Their friend just turned into a weird witch creature. And he puts a sheet over his head and says, I'm Duke, the horny ghost. And he starts drinking cellar wine that he finds the fucking the fucking the fucking fucking fucking fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking uncorked. He says Duke will provide. Yeah. No Duke. And this is where we get the farting creatures. The farting floor monsters are so good. They

are so good. You think they're supposed to be made out of old shit? Is that why they're farting? Oh, I don't know. It's so weird. I don't care. I really don't. I watch the trailer for this movie after I watched the movie and I'm so glad that I didn't watch the trailer first because the farting fart floor monsters are the highlight of this and I'm glad they didn't get spoiled for me. If only there was a hyper-simple way to make them die. Is there? You pour wine on them. the they fizzed they they f they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they fizzed they they they they they fizzed they they they fizzed they they they they they they the the the they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th is th is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi too is too is too is too too ttry tttry try ttry ttry the the thi thi thi thi thi thi simple way to make them die. Is there? You pour wine on them.

You pour wine on them. They fizz down to nothing. This is very, very smart of Duke, which I do not buy for a minute. Sure. Yeah, yeah. This is where I have the farting floor monster just like shoving each other around. One of them is a pickaxe he's not impressed. It's just... I don't know what I do if I got into a combat situation and my opponent was just constantly ripping ass the entire time. I just dump wine on to the Britesque lady and her partner,

and she's smoking a cigarette just being like, well, maybe they're all dead about their friends, like so fucking nonchalant. She's such a dick. She's the best. You don't want to do anything I want to do. Kids, don't date people who hate you. Just don't get into relationships with people who hate you.

Just being relationships with people who like you. Yeah, yeah. That is fucking fantastic advice. Thank you. Yeah. And getting out of a relationship, not the end of the world. Nah, quit it, hit it and quit it. Especially not with a person who hates you. Yeah, especially if out of a relationship not the end of the world. Nah, quit it hit it and quit it Especially not with a person who hates there. Yeah, especially if they hate you yeah Yeah, especially if you hate them too. Yeah, hit it quit it I have a note that says where did he get that beer? No idea who I'm referring to it doesn't matter Adrian here. Adrian here something, but David won't wake up. Is Adrian the... She's smoking lady. Smoking lady? David is her partner. Yeah.

Uh, Dad and Lady find a hanged lady. So they are looking for Carol, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're trying to get into the room. No. Uh, they're with puppet guy. And he gets locked into a room on one side of the hall. Right. And they turn to the other side of the hall and they open the door on the other side of the hall and the stepdad says maybe this connects to it. It's on the other side of the hall.

It's on the other side of the hall. Listen, I've been reading a lot about wormholes. holes lately. Stepdad, stepdad Rick. Is this what it tests? It's on the other side of the hall. It's on the other side of the hall. I do not think it goes to that room. Cut to Carol calling up some monsters to attack Adrian and David. Yes, correct. And it's a merman? I think it's a man. It's got a fish body. It's got a fish body for sure. It kind of looks like the Kraken from Clash of the Titans. Oh the Harry Housin Kraken. Yeah, I do love that. It's a great it's a great puppet. It looks really good. It looks way better than this movie should look. Can I tell you? can I just read you the Wikipedia, from the Wikipedia, through this film?

He possesses one of the teenagers in the group to use a Ouija board and summons a variety of monsters to kill the group one by one. These include muck men, small reptilian demons, giant spiders, an arachnid woman, an octopus-like creature with electric tentacles, a grim reaper statue, a vampur boy and a monk's habit in a large group of zombies. All those things. Oh, and a skeletal witch, excuse me, I'm a skeletal witch. They had so many prosthetics and so many puppets in this movie, and I am here for every second of it.

And I love how some of them are great and some of them are absolute shit. So dukey. Carol's, when Carol tries to move her mouth, it's the saddest thing. It looks like that shark from Lultamo Squalo. Remember how he couldn't close his fucking mouth? Didn't need to, man. It was just a killing machine with a mouth. Weird. Weird. Weird fact about Carol? Yeah. Kind of looks like my one grandmother when she's an apple-headed lady. Weird.

Yeah. Yeah. So, Adrian, David is killed by the merman. Right. And Adrian doesn't notice. And Adrian doesn't notice. No, she doesn't. He's like dead in his sleep by the merman.

He's just bled to death right next to her. She's just smoking. She's no no no no the the to to to to to to to to to to death right next to her. She's just smoking. She's no reason for her to not notice. Those secrets are going to cover up the smell of blood. It's fine. The smell of a merman, can you imagine? How fishy? It's smell like woollies up in there. A joke for no one.

Wait do you guys see how Woolies is spelled. They're not, They'll never find it. So she starts attacking the Murman with a fire poker. Yeah. And he's taking damage, but then attacking her and has no damage on him. And I'm like, are there two Murman? Is this just edited poorly? You know what? I don't know. Yeah,

neither do I. I don't know. And then she drops a dresser or a chest of drawers on it or something. She's like very calm about trying to murder it with the fireplace poker too. She's not screaming, she's not flailing. She's just kind of like laying there and lightly touching it. She's come from the continent. She's sseen. She's. to. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. their, their, tho. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. th. come from the continent she's seen a bunch of stuff that's true and it has already gotten her in the neck which is very good yeah yeah oh cemetery goblin yes that is the little boy that's blue oh I called him the kid from he-man you know the guy the hooded things you know about work-oh I'm talking about orko I am I'm talking about or that kid looks like he he- the the the the th th th th th th th th th th that th th th that th that that that th that that that that that that th th th that th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the to toy toy toy toy toy toy the the the the the the the about Orco. I am, I'm talking about Orco. That's what that kid looks like. He looks like an adorable kid going out for Halloween. Yeah. Wait, I want to say one more thing about her killing this this Murmurman or attacking the Merman. The score that is playing is so dramatic and somber as if like they used to be in love and she doesn't want to have to do this to him but she does like it is bananas. So you think that

Murman was her man? I think Murman was her man and not anymore Merman has turned. I feel like if I'm on land and a Merman is attacking me I'm just gonna wait. Just wait it's gonna run out of air. It's running on its own air at this point. Yeah, merman. It's so funny, the merman must have been for some other project they were doing and they're like, you need a monster, I've got a merma.

They're like, we only have 12 different kinds of monsters, and we need one more. What if I dress my nephew up like a gorblin out in your fucking orco? Perfect. This is being cut with scenes of Creon talking to Isabel. Because most of the movie is Creon, of Creon's actions, is just talking to this woman who doesn't want to be with him. Yeah, because he can't interact with the other people in the movie because they're not the same movie. Yes. Yes, It all makes sense now. Okay. And he tells her that the

the orco is their kid? Yeah, he says she says I poison myself once before and he said my will to have you is greater than your will to die. Yeah. Some real fucking domestic violence shit. That's some high school boyfriend nonsense. And he says, yes, it's some real fucking high school boyfriend nonsense. He says says, yes, it's some real fucking high school boyfriend nonsense. He says, I'm the father of your children. We have many children, to which I just wrote, what? What? Fart monsters, mermans, this little kid and

this little kid and Halloween makeup. He just, the currian just goes, Corda, and this fucked up little kid comes in and goes, mama, she screams. Oh my god. And when Katie says, fucked up little kid. I mean it with all of the parts of my body. It's just a head puppet that looks like it would have been like an extreme background character and Return of the Living Dead. It looks like a shit. It's so good.

Pretty great. But it's yelling, mama. Mama. Mama. So she screams and runs away. And then he's talking to the kid, Creon. And he says, the farther she gets away from me, the weaker she becomes. And I thought, but she wants to die, so why doesn't she just keep running?

Katie, don't try to put your stank logic on this room. I'm sorry. I mean, like, you didn't even need to say that. You know, that wasn't a plot point. I have a note, and I have no idea what it is about. but it says, oh shit, a new wet tentacle monster with BJ mouth and electricity powers. Yes, so this is David. He's outside being, oh come to me, my darling, I need you, but he's dead.

And then he turns into an umbilical cord's electricity monster squid, as I described him. You didn't include the blowjob mouth. I did not. I did not. But I guess he attacks Adrian. That attacks Adrian. Yeah, it turns her to jelly. Her face crumbles in like a stop motion.

I fucking adored it. I adore this scene. I love this. And I'm not joking. Her final form is jelly. Is jelly. Like fucking Concord grape jam on the grounds. Yeah. But yeah, it's fun. It's a fun little effect that they do.

I just fucking loved it. You need to be very clear. Um, we cut to the bride. She's in a cave. Where did this cave come from? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. All house like that have caves. Please have caves under it? Cave systems for sure. All right, yeah, yeah. I believe this house was like some like revolutionary war guy's house or something and apparently the people who

were like, yeah you can film your movie here we're hoping that they'd fuck it up so they could tear it down. Oh my god. But they went in, the production crew went in and like fixed the electrical and plumbing in the house and made it like sellable. Oh my god, so they weren't able to tear down a historical landmark. What a sad moment for them. Uh, what does my note arise, a strella arise mean? No idea. Okay. Good. Is this the Asian stereotype? Oh my god. This is like yes, the spider woman who shows up and the music, it doesn't do this but it almost does this. Bum-bomb-bomb-bomb-bom- I think it does actually do that. And then they just put a gong in the middle of it and you're like, that's, you're not hiding it. Yeah. Yeah. So this is an Asian woman who meets up with Duke, I think?

With Duke, yeah. Is he in the cave? Where's Duke? Oh, he's in the cave too. Because he fell into the turd basement with the fart monsters. Correct. Oh, and he got into a fight with her stepdad too. He and the stepdad have been fighting. They have a very long non-fight. They do it several times, if I'm not mistaken. No. And I just kept thinking about the stepdad being like, oh, your mother and I are going to discuss this at home. But does she lead, does she lead the puppet guy away?

She leads the puppet guy away. She leads the puppet guy away. Yeah, yeah. And when Duke and Peter and Stepdad are fighting, Linda the Boob lady looks at Duke, she's like, That's my man. Yeah, she does like that. So, okay, so the Asian stereotype lady. Yeah, but why?

But why? I mean, I keep saying that. I'm not trying to be rude. No, no, this movie is like, hey. Yeah. She turns into a giant spider. Loved it. This giant spider is fucking better than the one at the end of Stephen King's it mini series. Oh yes. So much better.

Except for one part of it. That has too many legs. No, no, that's fine. When she is transforming and her head gets really big, yeah. And then like her face starts transforming into the spider face looks really cool. She looks like wharf? Yeah. Yeah, she looks like whi. The brow ridges are wiggledy-piggledy and wrote, I love it. So, what would that be? What's going on right now? I described her head as all wiggledy-piggledy and wrote I love it so. And it sucks his head in and I'm sorry but it's just so great. It's so fucking great. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Duke has been like hit with a scythe from the Grim Reaper? Yeah there's a grim reaper statue that then becomes not a statue andthe from the Grim Reaper? Yeah, there's a Grim Reaper statue that then becomes not a statue and chases them around. Yeah. And it looks real shitty and it's great. Yeah. And yeah, it's chasing them onto the roof. And then Peter tricks the Grim Reaper into falling off the roof somehow.

I don't know. And when it hits the ground, it explodes. Oh yes the side like sort of hisses and it blows, yes blows up when he hits the ground. Was it just hissing with natural gas and the ground was made of matches? Yeah, got it. I think you figured it out. I'm happy to try to try to translate. In Northern New Jersey is filled with match fields. You just got to be dangerous. That's why you can't, so you can't pump your own gas. Yeah, yeah, or walk around with sandpaper shoes. No, they don't let you know. No. No. No.

Creon is pretty annoying actually, you know that I have after the grim reaper explodes? Yeah. This is literally impossible to follow. Yeah, it's fucking nonsense. And suddenly, Stip Dad Rick, he knows exactly what's going on here. He's like maybe with some dark secret locked away and the papers he unearthed. Sir, what? How could you know that he unearthed papers? And why would you be looking for a dark secret? And how is the Grim Reaper exploding not the end of this movie? I don't know.

So he's like, we gotta go downstairs and get the vial. What vial? We have not seen a vial before this point. There's been no Chekov's vial. I'm so glad you said that. Because he was suddenly dick hard for the vial I was like like because he sees a picture of the wizard but it's obviously not his hand holding the wizard's picture because it's in a different movie. And he's like we have to go get the vial and I was like sort of the other movie mentioned the file. What vile? And when they go, when they go to get the file? Megan starts to turn old? Megan, to turn, to turn, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to the the the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thiol. I, the the the theyfeil, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi.o, thi. I tie, tie, tie, thi.o, theyfiole, theybiole, theybiole, theybiofil, theybiofil, theybiovil, thiole, thiole, thi. What vial? And when they go, when they go to get to the file, Megan starts to

turn old and stepdad gets slightly older. Oh yeah, why though? And then he hits the wigi board with the vial and then I have a note that says I don't know what happens? I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Well, the the the coffin lady. We. M. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Megan. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. to. to. Me. to. to. Me. Me. to. to. the. Me. the. Me. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the with the vial. And then I have a note that says, I don't know what happens. I don't know. We're back to the coffin lady. I now, oh, someone is saying in voice over, I now know what I must do. Perhaps I've always known, in like a fucking wistful voice, like it's the end of the breakfast club.

Like, it's like it's a little women's a figuring out what she needs to do with her life. And someone's got the ice pick in their skirt. Yeah, this is Chekhov's Ice Pick. Yeah, Billy's Ice Pick. Why did he ever have it? Wait, is this where the two movies finally cross over? Billy? Billy and the Wizard and the Coffin Lady are the one movie? And then the teens are the the the the the the the the other the the other the the other the the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other lady are the one movie. And then the teens are the

other movie? Yes. Oh the bride has it in her skirt not one of the teens. Got it, got it, all right. All right. Creon is pretty gullible though she's like come here I love you now. Oh okay all right. I see you've come around on my disgusting gray face except he's German and I'm not doing that accent. I'll feel sane. Who doesn't want to get down with old old meal face? You might think it's a night mask to make my skin look better. Nope, it's my skin. No amount of oatmeal will help it.

I try cream of wheat too. I'll make a cream of wheat mask and go to sleep with it on. Just wake up licking your lips. She stabs him right in the forehead with Billy's ice pick. Where does she, she's having the dick fain in his forehead. That's right. Nice work, it's very rad. Yeah, yeah.

And then cut to outside the pulsating grave is still pulsating and it gets struck by lightning? Well, is this before or after she climbs out of the tree and a pair of slingbacks with kitten heels, which they make her do and it's clearly very dangerous for her? I think this is before, because then I have a lady climbs out of the house. Okay, and then the little weird rubber monster says, yeah, oh my god. And then there's a bunch of zombies in the yard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, there, there, there, there's, there's, the the the the the th.. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, there's, there's a there's a bunch of zombies in the yard. Does it sound like we're making this up? And that's what I found $5 and then I had a dream and you were in it. Here's Kiefer Sutherland again and another guy and she kicks a skull I guess and doesn't do much trying to get away.

Wait, you were calling the catman? Kiefer Souther? No, the Keather Sutherland guy from the drifter, or whatever, or whatever, zombie now? Okay all right, all right, all right. And they slowly and vary zombie essentially river close off. It is erotic. It's erotic. It's veronic. Yeah. And they're all blue. The zombies are all blue. It's a bad shade for the camera. This is like, this is the, the, the bottom of the special effects barrel for this movie. And they have a fucking shit ton of them. There's like 42 extras for this scene. There's so many young kids too. It's really upsetting. I feel like they went and showed up at a campground with their makeup kits. Everybody, everybody, they thi. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi have thi have thi have thi have thi have their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. the. thea. thea. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. the Oh my God. She won't run. Just run with your

legs. Use your fucking legs. Yeah. Uh-huh. Well, she does escape, though. She gets into a car, which I have a note, I can't believe she knows cars. I wrote, isn't she from 1916? She's been, we were told that she's been in that casket for 70 years. She has never driven a car. No. No. Mm-mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. And th. And th. I I I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th. She won th. She won th. She won th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi told that she's been in that casket for 70 years. She has never driven a car. Nope. No. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. And then like, who is this guy driving the car? And why is he not scared? Just pulling out like he's in the Aldi's parking lot? Yeah.

Well, you know why? Because he's the grave, the kid giggles, Creon laughs, freeze frame. Final note, what the fuck? Final note, this movie is perfect. I'm giving it a 10. Suck my flaps. I'm giving it a 10. That's what I got from my Ryan Australian friend, Pie.

Sock my flaps. It's a 10. Wow. It's... I'm on a roller coaster. It's... it's an emotional ride. Yeah. You get to see the triumph of the human spirit. Visually stunning.

You get to see the failing of continuity. You get... What happens? Push two movies into a blender. And neither have been to the very last minute mentions a vial. What? Do they ever get the vial? Yeah, yeah, they smashed it onto the wiki board. That's right.

Why though? Oh, old magic. Wait, why do they need the vial? Okay, them old. That's right. Why do? Oh, old magic. Wait, why do they need the vial? Huh? Okay, it's still a ten. I don't know. Crayon was in the grave the entire time.

Oh, he was, wasn't he? Was it a dream? Was it a dream? Who's dream? A child's dream? I'm gonna give this movie a solid seven. Hell yeah. It's a really good time. It's so, it's so stupid. It's so stupid. It's a, I feel like you can't set out to make a movie this bad.

No, you have to be doing it with all the sincerity of your heart. Yeah, and or just trying to recover whatever money you lost on the original filming of it. I feel like there's a th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thi thi thrown thrown thrown thrown thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho to to to to to to to to to thi. to to to to to to to to thi. thi. tooooooooooooo too thooooooo tho to tho to to to to filming of it. I feel like there's a real sunk cost fallacy happening on this movie, you know, throwing good money after bad. But frankly it made my whole week. It was so good. Yeah. Oh, thank you, Gat. Thank you for choosing that. This has no sorority babes at the sliara-ball ballerama out of my like-o-ease-o'-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-s.. thl-o-o'-o-s. thr-o'-o-o-o-o-o-o-m-m-m-o-o, th-s. thr-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-butt, but, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. But, th. But, th. It, th movie has no Linet Quigley. No. There is no extended ass-crack washing scene in this movie.

No, it's true. I don't know if anyone has a clean ass crack in this movie. That woman scrubs her ass. It's not sensual. You just got to get in there. Like she's had a weeks worth of diarrhea. She needs to make s s s s s s s s their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to get to to to to to t. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. It's th. No. No. No. No. It's th. No. No. It's no. It's no. It's no. It's no. It's no. It's no. It's th. It is t. It's t. It is t. It's t. It's t. It's t. It's t. It's t. It's t. It's t. It's t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t in there. Like she's had a week's worth of diarrhea that she needs to make sure is not sticking to her cheeks. Oh, it's so weird. Well, I feel like the puppets are way better than the puppet in that one. Remember the goblin who would just show up at the bowling alley? Say it like, hey ladies. Wasn't the actor who played the puppet or something named Dookie Flyswatter? Yes, I really don't know if it was the actor or the monster, but yes.

Oh, sweet Christ. What a fucking great genre of films. Just, yeah, I, watching this movie, I was like, we should do a film festival, like on my bucket list, is us doing a film festival, and I wanted to specifically be tween and teen kids in way more danger than any child should be in it in a movie. Absolutely. This movie, this movie, The Gate, just the first thing that popped into my head, baby Stephen Dorf

just getting murdered. There's a movie called, it's either Lenora or Lenora that's about this girl that's in like the Ozark Mountains and being chased by vampires and monsters and the whole thing is they all just want to have sex with her. Oh no Alan I need to. It's real weird. Yeah no no no no it's fine it was but I put that movie because that movie is also bad shit and doesn't make any sense. Yeah which is weird because you figure with a movie like the plot like that it would make perfect experience. You that you that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that thi. that that that that that that that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th is is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi thi the the. the. the. the. theat. theat. the. the. theat. the. the. the. the. thi. that's that's that it would make perfect. It would be you think it would have a whole well flush out thing. God damn it. Yeah so all my bucket list for things for us to do is to do a... You can rent out Roehouse and do it? Oh sure yeah. I'm tired though. Can I read you a review that just says,

me, I really did like. I like that that person still comments on like our Twitter and stuff like that. You know you're using the same name, right? Whoops, a doozy. Which just maybe don't then. Or you do you, Boo, I don't give a shit. Yeah, you're on that internet. You're doing your the their their It's five stars, pure goodness. Greetings from Louisiana. Oh, Louviana. I love your hot sauce. And you'll crawl, that is. Why can we not do a southern accent without making it sound like a shhshhh.

It sounds like your dentures aren't staying in. I think that's what I think of southern people. Oh shit. Stop it now. Greetings from Louisiana. Hello, Louisiana. Like many others, I first heard y'all on GAM. Oh. And when Katie mentioned their Verodica, to seek it out.

Did I say that on GAM? I'm sure. Yeah, you nailed it. Yeah, you're a great salesman. I really am. Salesperson. No, I'm a salesman. I'm a man of sales. I'm a man of sales. Hooked ever since. I now have a huge backlog of other podcasts listening to because now I just listen to where will faulfam. As it should be. I still need to know if we show up in up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up in to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their their their to to to their to to to to to to th. to to to th. their. their. to. to. to. to. to. I'm a their. I'm a their. I'm a their. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. the. the show up in people's dreams who do that. If this has happened, if we've been in your dreams, right in, but tell Alan first because he reads emails. And nothing like weird. Nothing sexy, no.

No. No. Neither, yes. Uh, I haven't even seen most of the movies they review, but Katie and Alan's banter charming personalities and loving friendship, of which I which th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, and thi, tho, tho, tho, and thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thei, thi, thi, thi, andvious, are reasons enough to make this my favorite pod. It's so nice. That is so nice. They are also genuinely funny.

Thank you. Thank you. It's a welcome respite from the terrible things in the year of our lord 2024. What is something happening? Hmm. Mm-hmm. Everything's fun. Everything's fun. Everything's fun.

Hey, as a childless cat lady. So Katie and Alan, thanks for being awesome and sharing it with us. Oh, baby. Scarlet Waters. Thank you, Scarlet Waters? Yeah. That's so kind of you. Thank you for taking the time podcasts that I don't know about. We love to be ranked. But also it just makes us feel so good. Thank you. Every time

someone points out our friendship, it just like, I feel like we're doing something right. Me too, especially because I feel like you were mad at me earlier because I didn't want to record two episodes next week. Were you mad? Tell the truth. No. Okay, great. Thank you th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th. th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the truth. No! Okay, great. Thank you so much for leaving us the review. I so, so appreciate it. Yes. And just thanks for listening. It boggles them the mind. Ten years in, it still boggles my mind. Still boggles the mind. And if you want to give us money for this, you can go to Patreon. Backs. We're about to record this. A. topp. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.'s episode for that podcast. It's gonna be about Red Dawn. And let me tell you some about Red Dawn. I hated, I hated every fucking second of it. Did you hear Katie say it was great? So, if you wanna hear Alan and me get into a real life argument about recording two episodes

next week and also Red Dawn, tune into Patreon, and that would be awesome. And you don't have to, because this will be free th be free th be free th be free the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, the the the the tho thi, I'll thi, I'm thi, I'm tho, I'll th, I'll th, I'll to to to th., I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, I, I, I thi, I' the, the the the the the thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thea., thean, th you don't have to because this will be free forever until one of us dies which depends on the numbers. So I thought you were going to put a timeline on that which I don't know we got six months. Did I not tell you they gave me six months I give me six months I would be inconsolable if that happened I we agree that I get to die first. We absolutely did not agree. You go back and listen to the old episodes where I say I need to die first because I need you to plan my funeral and you say, okay I will. That's what an agreement is. I think we are actually fighting. And then I said, I will live in this fantasy where you die before me. Well that still sounds like you agreed to me. You sign a contract. It's

contract. In love. In love. You signed it in blood also. I think we've pricked our fingers and signed the contract. It might feel like we're fighting because it's 111 degrees of this. I know I would deeply regret saying it wasn't that bad up here. I am stuck to this chair. And that trar is made out of cloth. She should not be stuck to it. It's 130 degrees in this room. She's not even smoking that fucking melting to the couch weed. No, no, I just melted. Actually I touched my face and all my makeup is melting off so. Okay, let's wrap this shit up. We have to tell them what we're going to do next week. Oh yeah, what are we're doing? A movie of to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the movie to the movie to the movie the movie to the movie. to the movie. the movie. the the th. th. th. tha. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. Se. Se. S. Se. Se. Se. Se. Se. Se. Se. Se. Se. Se. Se. S. Se. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. th. th. Oh yeah what are we doing? A movie of your choosing. A movie of my choosing. And it's hot out so we want to talk about swimming. We're going to do infinity pool. Infinity pool. Infinity pool. I see what's a movie about swimming. It's about having a pool in your

backyard that you can just swim laps in. Forever. I've been reading on and off, on and off, on and off, the to to thin, on to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. the. to. the. to. the. to. the. the. the. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. get you there. Where will familance dot com is a link tree to all of our stuff including the theme song at the end so stop asking for it stop going on Reddit making that post just go there and it's also I believe the top link is Perry's art so go buy some art go buy some art from Perry's stuff is so good and thank you for listening to another episode of where the Ambulance. Bye. Burp. Clear. Clear. Clear. Mediacs and I'm dead pools, Savini's sightings at the pool. Now we do in Finland's to fulfill reviews. Killing clouds and laugh the face.

Killing him out of space. Our parents are fast in case. Please make a guide in your grave. E&T. Marlowe and comedy reviews. Hulry, Brian from Wayne's in your grave. EFT. A moral comedy reviews hungry, Brian from Wayne's and Stephen King. E-MT. We live deliciously bad temperatures obese,

obviously come to daddy. A pair of normal activities from Mr. Rogers City, EFT, EFT.