Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 70- 30 Days of Night (2007)

Episode Date: February 22, 2016

In this week's episode, we're joined by our friend Allison to discuss her pick, the 2007 vampire film "30 Days of Night." Special topics to consider include: misconceptions about who is actually in this movie, the plot of the film "Pearl Harbor," Oreos and their myriad of flavors, the healing powers of alcohol, uncomfortably watching this movie on a plane, the concept of actually living in Alaska (apologies to our Alaskan listeners, you are tougher than we are by about a million) and THE UTILIDOR: what in the world is it?? Please check out the comedy of our guest Allison on Twitter @allistillo and on iTunes with the hilarious album "Forever 32." Don't forget to show this week's sponsor some love too! Get over to cryptocurium.com and sign up for the Parcel of Terror, their incredible handmade monthly subscription box. You will not regret it. Have you seen this movie? What are your thoughts? Do you prefer a velvet-trousered vampire or an animalistic one? Please tell us at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Instagram @werebulance or on Twitter @werebulance. And hey, if you liked this episode or any of our episodes, tell a friend and help us grow. Thanks for everything, EMTs! Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Hello and welcome to another episode of Werewolf Ambulance. I'm Katie and I'm here with my friend Alan. Hey Alan. How are you? I'm doing really well on yourself. Good. Excellent. I keep thinking we should get a better intro. We don't. We don't. This week we're also joined by our friend Allison. Hi, Alison Hi, Alan and Katie. How are you? Good, how are you? I'm well, thank you. Allison is calling us from New York City. Ooh, the big city. The windy apple. And Allison has brought a movie for us. She's brought us 30 days of night. I have. I've brought it to you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You're so welcome. You're so welcome. You're. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Good. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the the. the. the. the. tho. tho. the. tho. th. th. th. th. th. us 30 days of night. I have. I've brought it to you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You're so welcome. You're more than welcome. I can't

wait to hear how you feel about that. What made you pick this movie? That's a good, you know what? because I love a nosuratu vampire. I love like an ugly, crappy, not pantaloon wearing vampire. And I was like, you know what I mean? After the hall, like, you know, we're in like a velvet coat and like dancing around to a harpsichord vampires, I thought this is kind of a good change. Yeah. I agree. Back to basics if you will, for vampires. These vampires are fucking scary. Yeah, do you agree on that? They're horrifying. We can totally agree. I agree. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th thi. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, you thi, you thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tha tha to ta totauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. tauuuuuu. thauu. tha th Do we agree on that? They're horrifying. We can totally agree. I have a little story about that where I was on a plane to Los Angeles, maybe you've heard of it. Don't be jealous. Is that where it's dark for 30s? That's where it should be dark. Everything is. And I'm sitting next to these two jet, I think they were Japanese women. It was definitely a mother and daughter and the mom. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tot. tot. tot. tot. tot. I, I, I's, I's, I tot. I tote. I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm sitting next to these two, I think they were Japanese women, it was definitely a mother and daughter,

and the mom was sitting next to me, and she was like so nice. It was JetBlue and she was like trying to offer me some of her blue chips and I was like, oh they give those to everyone, like she was that nice. And I'm watching 30 days of night on my. And I was like, terrified. I was just like, no, it's going to get really bad. Don't watch these vampires over my shoulder. It does get really bad. It's very, very bloody.

But speaking of the nice vampire and the bad vampire. The director of this, what is it, David Slade, also directed one of the Twilight movies. Oh, really? Yeah. So he's done both ends of the Vampiric Spectrum. He runs the gamut. Disperns a vampire gamut. Interesting. I really need to isolate what disparate vampires. This is the episode where I get serious.

What? You saw this when it came out of original. I did. I saw it in the the theater. I used. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. Yeah. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's the, you saw this when it came out or original. I did, I saw it in the theater. I used to live like a couple walks from a multi, multi, multi-plex, so I would see movies that came out whether they were good or not. And I didn't remember this movie being so fucking long. Is it really long? It was really long? It was towards the end, I was like I think it's day 27 and there's still a half hour the movie left and that's one of the confusing things to me about the movie I was like how are these days working out in terms of the movie progression here

but yeah I did write down like day 27 only half an hour to go and they get into the story right away and then you're like why is it so long then I don't know but other than that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is the is the is the is the is the is te is te is te is tea the they. they. the the the the the the the the but other than that. So a quick synopsis of this film is it's a genius idea. It's such a good idea. It was a comic book. It was originally a movie pitch. Yes a failed movie pitch that was turned into a graphic novel which I thought was interesting. Yes Thank you Wikipedia. Oh I see you're on the internet as well. Oh yes I did one there. I thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. It's th. It's th. It's is is th. It's is th. It's is it's is it's is it's is it's is it's is it's is it's is it's is it's is it's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. It's is it's is it's is a thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. It's a thi. It's a the thi. It's a the thi. It's a theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. It's a thi. It's a, I see you're on the internet as well. Oh, yes. I've been one there. I think Steve Niles was the guy who originally did the concept story for it and all that. But it's, um, so vampires decide they're going to descend on Barrel Alaska, which is dark for 30 days straight,

and just devour everyone in the town. Yeah, why not? Not turn them, just kill them. So good. So simple and so good. Yeah, why had no one thought to do this previously? That's what I always asked myself. The first time I saw this, I was like, why has this not been done already?

It's such basic premise. And from there, it's just a bunch of slaughter and then a bunch of waiting. So much waiting. They say it's the hardest part. So, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'll go. I have two quick questions for you. I blew it early. I blew it early. Could you live in a place that was dark for a month? No. No. Let's say, first of all, could you live in Alaska? No. Forget it. Not even if it weren't dark for a month. No. No. No. Pittsbare gets the like third fewest days of sunlight behind I think Alaska and the city of Seattle? Yeah. Um, I don't. I don't, I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th tho. I tho. I'm I'm I th I blew. I blew. I blew. I blew. I blew. I blew. I blew. I blew. I blew. I blew. I th I th I th I th I th I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm I'm I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm blue. I'm blue. I'm blue. I'm blue. I'm blue. I blew. I'm blue. I'm blue. I'm th. I'm th. I boo, Pittsburgh gets the like third fewest days of sunlight behind I think Alaska and the city of Seattle. Yeah, I don't know. So we practically do live somewhere in the time. Constant grayness. Yeah, it's awful. I have seasonal

effective disorder and a vitamin D deficiency. Oh yeah. Yeah. Two thousand milligrams of vitamin D a day. Yeah, it feels good man. No, I think it would be a terrible place to live, especially just like being cut off from everything I can't imagine. Yeah. Yes, agree. I wonder if we have any listeners in Alaska. I don't know if we have any listeners in Alaska please tell us what it's like. Yeah, talk to us. I think I could do it. And run. Run. I think I think I'd like to do it I'd like to do it I'd like to do it I'd like to do it I'd like to do it I'd like to do it I'd like to do it I'd like to do it I'd like to do it I'd like to do it I'd like to do it I'd like to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I the the the the the the the the the the. I. I the the. I'm their to to to to to to to to. I think I'd like to do it just to see what not having sunlight for that long would be like. But then I'd have to move immediately after it happened. Yeah. Well, it would be over then.

Oh, that's true. And I just have to wait twice. Question two, could you survive that period of time on just th and Snapple. Yes. Yeah, I mean like... I have thought about that for a minute. Sorry, sorry, gang. You're like, oh yeah, absolutely. Do you get different flavors of Oreos? I guess in 2007 maybe they just had like stuff and double stuff.

Oh God. But what do you need up besides double stuff? Dude, I had the red velvet Oreo today? Really? Gross, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they went they went they went they went they went they went they went they went they they they they they they they they they they they th. I th. I th. I tho tho. I tho. I tho tho tho tho tho tho th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I tho. I tha. I tha. I tha. the. tho. tho. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I tho. I tho. I th red velvet Oreo today. Fucking disgusting. Really? Gross, they went too far. They jumped the Oreo shark. Yeah, I like the ones with the vanilla cracker, or franella cookie and the truck. Oh, a golden Oreo? Yeah, that's a good time.

the peanut butter's good. I haven't had that. Birthday, I'm a birthday, the next time we're talking about Oreos, because I don't know any of this. You might not believe this, but I do love to snack. I love an Oreo. Arby's is going to be mad when they find out we've taken on this Oreo sponsorship. Oh, have you had the Arby's flavored Oreo? Oh, I would eat that. That's basically a dog biscuit, isn't it? Oh, that's terrible. Oh, it's terrible. And that's all the questions that I had, so...

Okay. I have a question. To the point, those questions are really good. What happened to Josh Hartnett? Where did he go? He was everywhere for like the mid-2000s and he's just gone. No, but now he's on, he's on penny dreadful. So he's, he's th, he's th, he's th, he's th, he's th, he's th, he's th, he's on Penny Dreadful. Oh, so he's working. He exists.

Yeah, and he's playing like a werewolf. Oh, good for him. So he went into the horror. He wasn't consumed by Josh Brolin, as I had assumed. I'd assume that Josh Brolin had just taken him inside of himself. He looked slightly like Josh Bollin, and I figured Josh was like, no, that can be one. There They're gonna be, there's like a Josh vampire chain somehow working here. Where Josh is just consumed more Josh is. The Josh Islanders? I also thought that Kate Beckinsale was the female lead in this movie, but I realized I was confusing it with Pearl Harbor.

Very different movie. Is Josh Hartnett in that film? Yeah, him and Matt Damon's The Dane. There's been a flick I don't know. Oh, might have been a bina flag. I kind of get them mixed up. Of course why I have a movie podcast. I'll look it up. Yeah, we're not that kind of movie podcast. Not the kissing kind. Oh, but this movie does end with a kiss, but we'll get to that. There were two scenes that I hadn't seen this since it came out in the theater, and there were two scenes that I remembered, and one was that last one. Yeah. That'll stick with you. I do have the note that the director directed a Twilight movie in some episodes,

and some episodes of Hannck, I'm sorry. Oh, okay. He could probably be consumed by one of the Josh's tear, though. He's got that flavor, Ben Affleck. Yeah, yeah, he's on that tip. I love that none of us know who's in Pearl Harbor, by the way. Not one of us. No, I don't even know what happens. No. I'm just sort of. I wonder how that that the thanks. Right? Yeah. And they're stuck in the ice. Yeah, and then she lets go of his hand.

And you're crying but you're angry because you know your emotions are just being manipulated? I think they could both fit on that piece of wood. I don't know. I wanted to see where she's like, hmm, not comfortable. You're just going to have to get up. You're just being in the water. So should we talk about the interpersonal relations in this movie? Yeah, get into it. Um, yes, why don't you tell us, please. Um, well, I did have a note that said like, if just one person was as interested in my romantic life as that whole town is, and their to'n'nabby, I would have have have have have have have have have have have have a fucking have a fucking have a fucking have a fucking have a fucking have a fucking have a fucking have a fucking have a fucking have a fucking thony, I thi, I thi, I would have a fucking have a fucking have a fucking have a fucking have a fucking have a fucking have a fucking have a fucking, I thi, I thi, I the fuck off like just let them have

their breakup like everybody is nagging them about it. So Nebby. And no one gave her a you go girl. You get it you get a ton. Everyone just get back with him. He's the best. You're a dummy. It does kind of seem to be a dummy. I mean doesn't she? Well she does apologize like when she's freezing to death under a car. And I'm like, not the time. No. No, you don't get to do that now. No, you blew it.

You weren't a truck with him a lot of the time. You know, there were plenty of options here, so no. All right. the other, well, there's the brother, thion, the brother, the brother, there's the brother of Josh Hartnett. Okay, right. Josh Hartnett is a 25-year-old sheriff of this town. The first time I saw this, because I too saw it when I was out in theaters, and I did not believe him as sheriff at all. This time it was a little bit better until his dirt stash comes into play. But prior to the dirt stash, all right, maybe the other sheriff died. So they had nobody else wanted the job. It's like Northern Exposure.

They had to bring him in to do this, which I assume is how everyone gets hired in Alaska. So he's this like inept a little brother, I guess, failure to launch kind of guy. Right? I couldn't tell if he was a teenager or just, or just, or just, or just, mean? I'm just going to say later on he gets to be 30 days of right. If you look him up on IMTV now he's pretty cute. But he's 12. I apologize because he's like 12 years old but he just kind of grow into his looks. We'll put it that way. I don't want to miss her saying 30 days of right.

I don't really not that lie. Oh I've got a million of them just you went. Yeah so he's like the outsidery weird you know dorky ineffectual brother. Then there's the cancer grandma you know the obligatory cancer grandma. It helps her with her cancer. I was like what? I guess we eat does help but doesn't help you with your cancer. It's never mind. It doesn't matter. It's her medicine. It's thi. It's. It's a a th. It's a th. It's th. It's th. It's their. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's a medicine. It's a medicine. It's a medicine. It's a medicine. It's a medicine. It's a medicine. It's a medicine. It's a medicine. It's a medicine. It's a medicine. It's a medicine. It's a medicine. It's a their their their their. It's a their. It's a the the the the the the the the the their. It's a their. It's a their. It's a their. It's a their. It's a their. It's a their. It's a their. It's a their. It's a their. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. I's a thi. I's a million. I. th. I's a th. I's a th. thi. I's. thi. eat does help but doesn't help you with your cancer. It's like it's never mind. It doesn't matter. It's her medicine. It's not curing her. No it's just I guess it's helping I guess it's help. Oh yeah he does look pretty good. Doesn't he? Yeah. He's 27 now which means I know. I know. What years it now?

So cancer grandma, useless brother, a Stranged Wife. Yeah, and then there's so many that maybe that's why this movie is so long because there are a lot of people in the attic. He's got 57 best friends. You know, like I'm just like we could have cut a couple of these complications out of this. Because then you have a slutty girl who ends up in the anic. Um, She was just, she was just getting hers. It was fine. You know, I'm just saying, well, I'm looking at all the reasons they're being punished.

So I call her slutty girl. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. And then we have, there's Billy. Is he like the deputy or something? I think he's the deputy. Yes, right? With kind of an odd accent, what's his accent? Do we know? Is that some kind of Alaskan accent we don't know about? There's a fair amount of Australians in this movie and New Zealanders in this movie. So he might be one of the, the female lead is Australian.

Really? Right. Yeah. And one of the, the beta, the beta, the beta, the beta, the beta, the beta, the beta, the beta, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha, tha, tha, thaqaqaqaqaqaqaqaqaqa, tha, tha, toa, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, a, a tha, a tha, a tha, a toa, a tha, a tha, tha, tha, th the beta vampire is, he's from New Zealand. Is that, which one is that? No, it looks like Marilyn Manson? No, not that one. The bald-headed one that looks like a cat? I call him insane clown posse. Oh good, I like that. Yeah, that says. Do anybody else think the main vampire who is Angelica Houston's brother looked a lot like Anthony Bordain? I thought you're going to say Vincent Dinafrio. Oh yeah, that works too. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Bordain?

Yeah. Yeah. I referred to when my notes only as a vampire. I referred to when my notes only as corporate like, off to work as a vampire. Increased profits. Cuts, origins, I don't know. He does. This is his idea.

This is like the ultimate profiteering and vampirism. Yeah. He gives a lot of like speeches to his people too, like a lot of speeches about, you know. Now that we're talking about the vampires, I have another quick note. Do you think this all could have been ended if Josh Hartnett had just given them his ventulin inhaler? Because they all seem to have asthma because they're just wheezing the entire time in the movie. There's walking around going,

and everything, it's insane. And why are we so concerned with his asthma? By the way, I was really, because at one point he loses the inhaler, but like do we really need that whole plot point? Yeah, no as an asthmatic I was like, oh god that's the scariest thing it's happening in this movie. Oh, okay. And that's when you're going to trigger an attack. They're after the asthmatic demographic, maybe. Really touching you. They're like, who's not watching enough vampire movies?

Asmatis. We got it. We've got a kid. We've got a kid. We're going to spook 40-year-old asthmatics. They say it a million times. It's obviously a Spanish instrument used for fomanko dancing. I don't know. What is it? They say it so many times like we're supposed, and I was like, Dwight, am I missing

like a something important in my knowledge? So I looked it up. And in Disney World, the utility corridors, because there's miles and miles of corridors under Disney world are called the Utilador. So I'm assuming that's where they got the word from. What? What? Utility Corridor? Where does it be a Disney World?

That's really bleak. That would have been great. If it had taken place at Disney World, I would have been like, kill them all. Oh, I'm dare they be happy? All the 65-year-olds in matching mini windbreakers. The least happy place on earth right now. Imagine if they built a Disney World where it was dark for 30 days.

Disney World Dark! There's a bunch, there's so many people in this movie. We'll get to them, I guess if we get to them. Yeah. Half the time I was like, wait, who's that one? What? Who's Gus? Who's that? Do you? Like, half the time I was just like, is that that one or the other one? It's just a lot, I think. So we mean- A lot of towns people. The stranger. Yeah, the stranger. The stranger. The stranger. The stranger. The stranger. The stranger. The stranger. The stranger. The stranger. The stranger. The stranger. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Who's th. Who's th. Who's th. Who's th. Who's th. Who's th. Who's th. Who's th. Who's g. Who's gus. Who's gus. Who's gus. Who's g. Who's, who's, who's, who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who's. Who. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. the. the the the the the the the the the the of the deadly. Because he had the blackest, weirdest teeth. And was he from Deadwood? Is that where they picked him up from initially? Because he just sounded like he was in Deadwood. I like to call him Sling Blade.

That's my nickname for him. He sounds exactly like a dude from New Orleans I went on two dates with, so I don't know, I don't know, but yeah, and he was just, you know, he was the harbinger, the harbinger of doom for everybody. But yeah, you're right, it's like, all of a sudden you've got this weird southern, like what movie did he fall off of the movie? And he was, they were supposed to take him with them, but didn't? Yeah, they were supposed to turn him into a vampire. Why didn't they?

Because they're dicks? I don't know. Those vampires are dicks. That's not okay. I believe there's a whole like web short series based around his character that takes place in New Orleans. Oh really? Yeah. I remember something about that years. Because there there they the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their they's they's their they's they's their they's they's th. th. They's th. they're th. th. they're they're th. they were th. they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they's. they were. they were. they were they were they were they were they were they were th. they were th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. th. We were th. We were th. We were supposed. We were th. We were the. the. they were they were they were they were they were, I think I remember something about that

years ago because there's all these weird wacky offshoots from this like there's a novelization and there's the comic books and there's the directed a DVD movie that came out. Oh yeah and I believe there are web shorts around the two. That's interesting. So the Harbinger comes in and he's fucking he like disables the phones, the, the, the, the, everything goes, power. Power, yeah. Which again, such a genius idea to just shut these people off completely from the world, we eat them.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Does this also, to you feel a little bit like the thing, but just with vampires. Yeah. It's that didn't, like, you know what I mean? Because they have the same dogs. I'm like, oh my god, they just borrowed the dogs from the thing. What have been this movie. Yeah, the snow dogs. I hate those dogs though.

You're not a fan to huskies? Well, they're, the introduction you get to the huskies is them, is them, is the the the they they they they they they're just, is just, is just, is they, is just, is they, they, they, they, they, they, their they, their their they're just, their their they're just, they're just their their their, just their, just their, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just their, just just their, just just just just just their, just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their, their their their, their their their, their their their, their, their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, just, their, I'm terrifying. They really are terrifying. I was so sad for the dogs. I was like, what do they do to deserve their fate? And the dogs are done in the first 10 minutes. They're offed. They've been executed by the harbinger. Yeah, totally gone. Did he take their keys.

Did he just take their keys? No, because they were driving around like maniacs. Yeah, why didn't they just drive? Yeah, drive away. That's such a good point. They're not on an island. No. Yeah. And there were tons of vehicles. Yeah. And I think they said the New York town was like 80 miles, which you could get to pretty quickly at that. Like, you, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah, th. And, th. And, th. Yeah, th. And, th. th. th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they's, they's, they's they's they's they's they're they're they're they're they're th. th. thi. thi. the. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. they're they pretty quickly at that one like you know not that much time right yeah so yeah yeah whatever this whole movie just fell apart I was just thinking about how they were so cut off and then I thought I was like well they couldn't I don't know I guess I guess no one drove away because they were murdering I mean it was

the murder that kept them there I guess we were just basically following the Josh Hartnett and Lady Josh Hartnett around. I should probably learn her name. Kate Beckinsale? Kate Beckinsale? No, she wasn't. Melissa George. Ah, Stella. Stella.

Stella. Yeah. Stella and Ebbin and Malachi and all the gang. I spent half the movie being like, is it Eben or Evan? Eben or Evan? That was a big, you know. What is that, is that a name? Is that? Evan? Yeah. Okay, well never mind then. I think it's biblical. Is it? I think so. So the, can anyone explain the utilidor? What, what the fuck was the machine? What? Oh, the muffin monster? Yeah, it's that's the chewing? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that? that? thin? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? th. th. th. the? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is the? Is the? Is the? Is the the? Is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the machine? What? Oh, the muffin monster? Yeah, it's the chewing machine? I know.

I was a little confused by the entire town. Like, yeah, what is that machine for? And they introduce it to us right away, too. And it's like, oh, this is not going to come back at all. Don't pay any attention to this machine like that in chainsaw director these two things aren't gonna come back and play at any point oh yeah and there's the guy from Sons of Anarchy who is the oh car mechanic guy or whatever that's like lives on the fringes and has an oil leak yeah yeah he lives out outside of town yeah I loved. I love when he gives him the ticket the ticket he I the police officer would think that th th th he th he th he th he the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoes the the the thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. the thi. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th th th the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the thee theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee theee thee the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi he gives him the ticket and he's like it makes him feel like part of the town. When I ticket him. Only a police officer would think that.

I'm like you just put the heart and heart in it. That was lovely. That was amazing. Yeah Utilador, just Disney. Oh no this is right. Here's something. Here's something. The Barrow Utilador system.ilidor system is a unique 3.2 mile wood tunnel which runs below Barrow like an underground road system and allows the coop, I don't know what that means, to transport running water through the permafrost to home schools and businesses. But like why would I know that? Oh, I don't know. Why would anybody know that?

No one would know that ever. Here's photos of it, real place. Does it have the chewing part? Yeah, it's eating a man in this photo. What? No, I don't know. It seems fine. I wish the muffin maker had really just made muffins. Oh, the muffin monster, rather. And they were all like, oh, delicious.

Just monster muffins. Maybe the vampiresires the v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v va's the va's the va's the va's thiiirs thiirs thiars thiars thiars thiars thiars thiors thiors thiors thios thios thios thios Maybe the living on Oreos, this will be great. So then the vampires come to town. Vampires show up. And they're cool. Their language is cool too. I love the Vance. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, all that stuff, I'm totally like, tot great, they look terrifying. Now, are you guys totally anti the aristocratic vampire, the like the Anne Rice vampire?

There's a lot of eye-rolling with it. Real talk, I am not. I'm in favor of them on some level. I enjoy that mythology of them just being these like weird aristocrats that have, you know, like that underworld thing of where like they're the rich upper class and the werewolves of the bikers. You just like a like a cast system of monsters? Where do the Frankenstein's fit in? They're the slave labor. Oh no, they probably would be. Um, I mean, what do you think? Well okay, you can't, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're they're they're they're they're like, they're they're like, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the the the their they're the the their their their their, like their, like their, like their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, they're their, their their their their their their their their would be. I mean, what do you think? Well, okay, you can't, every movie can't just be a bunch of screamers with no dental care, so I kind of, you know, like, it can't be every vampire movie where there's no language. I mean, I can take it to an extent, but I do like kind of the really terrifying vampires

that these vampires are. And how, I love, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I thii, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I thi, I thi, I thi, the really terrifying vampires that these vampires are. And how animal, I love how animalistic they are and just like without any mitigation at all, just horrible, you know. Oh. You're right. I'm like that. There's a vampire in my living room. Sorry, gotta go. Um, though, the, the, what is it?

Marlow, the main vampire, the head vampire. His, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the they.a, the, what is it, Marlow, the main vampire, the head vampire, his like lower jaw looks like a scoop, where he would just like scoop out people's neck bits. And it's like, it's brutal. And they're just covered in blood the entire time. I know, it's so. There's such a messy eaters, like, this is a thing like people getting blood all over their face. They can't just eat, you know. Can't take them anywhere. They're also underdressed for the weather because that girl vampire is

like not even wearing tights under that dress. She's just rolling in the snow bare-legged. What did you think it was going to be like here in Barrow, Alaska? I guess they're just impervious to the cold? I know. I guess they're? Do they care about that? You know, I don't know. Are you talking about the little girl that was in the in the general store? No, the woman, the woman vampire who looks a little bit like the Maryland Manson vampire. Oh yeah, yes. More feminine. She's like a horrifying, I'm like even for a vampire, she enjoys what she's doing just a little too much. Yeah, she's a little, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. the wi, the woman, the woomper. the wi, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi's, the the thi's, the the the the the the thi's, the woom. the woom. the woman, the woman, the'm like take it down a notch. We get it like all right So there's the scene where the the three oil rig worker people are deciding where they're going to go and fuck Uh-huh. Oh, yeah, that was weird. What was he said? I love he says something that I'm like really? Oh, he he's like, oh, you're a bad little bitch. And I'm like, really? That line?

Who is that working on? Like, who is like, I am a bad little bitch? I guess somebody's stuck in Barrow for 30 days a night? I don't know. Valid. But it led me, they're doing rock paper scissors to decide where to go, which led me to rot paper. Vampires, because the one gets snatched by the vampires while they're doing it. Oh yeah. So he definitely lost. The vampires descending is really terrifying and they're like hopping from rooftop to rooftop. There's that

scene where they send the girl out into the street and she's like walking in they're all like lurking. their their s sa. the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. th. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, th. their, th. they're their, their, they're they're they're they're they're their, their, their, their, their, the one's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their their their their their their their their their their th. th. the, the, the. the. the. It's the. theat, theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat thean. thean. thean. they're they're they're they're they're they're there all like lurking. So good. And there's all those shots of like you're kind of got like a profile of a person and there's somebody kind of moving in the background that you can't see. Yeah. It's super creepy. Yeah, it's shot really beautifully I think. And like a lot of times it does look like a graphic novel. too which I like. And a lot of times when the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the cameras, the camera, the camera, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the camera, the camera, the camera, the camera, the camera, the camera, the camera, the camera, is th.., thi is thi., thi., thea., thea., thea., thea., thea. thea. And, thi. And, that's really awesome. Yeah, the blood on the snow was just with the fire lighting it just gorgeous. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and it didn't look like super CGI-e though I

assume a bunch of it had to be but it seemed a really practical stuff was going on. Yeah, it looked great. What do you think the vampires were doing while they were just like hanging out in the attic? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the the, the the, the the, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and they. Yeah, yeah, and theyan, and theyan, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and the, and they, and they, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and they, and they, and they, and they an, and they an they an they an they an they an theyan, and theyan, and theyan, and theyre a theyan, and theyan, and thean, and thean, and thean, and theree a theyan, and they an Just like playing battleship somewhere? Like do you think they were just, I mean I guess there were a hundred and fifty some people in the town but. They seem to get rid of them pretty quick except for the once a day release of people in the street thing that they were doing. They like go on their vampage and they're killing like everybody and then there just seems to be more and more of them their their their their their their their their their they they they they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. th. their tttte. te. te. te. they're their their their thea. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're just seems to be more and more of them too. Like it seems like there's an endless supply of vampires. Like where? I guess they were all on the ship. I don't know, where are they all coming from?

I also wondered what that ship was doing? Like, are they just like bumping in the cruise ships? And they're like, hey, you might have just. Did they get there on a ship. the ship. the ship. the ship. the ship. the ship? the ship. the ship. the ship. the ship. the ship. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the ship. I the ship. I the ship. I the ship. I the ship. I the ship. I the ship. I the ship. I they were all on. I they were all on the ship. I the ship. I they the ship. I the ship. I the ship. I they were all on the ship. I the ship. I the ship. I the ship. I the ship. I they all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't th. I th. I don't th. I th. I th. I they were all they were all they were all on. I they were all they were all all all all they were all all all all all all all the Deadwood Harbinger comes off of a boat. You see him looking back on a ship with like footprints in the ice. I completely missed that. I didn't know where they came from. I didn't understand how they got there. I mean, I'm assuming that's how they got there. I mean, where did it come from?

Vampire Ocean? Where do they are. I bet you could sell out of Vampire Cruise real quick. There's a lot of talk of how Alaska is so brutal in this movie. They say things like, we live here because no one else can. Yeah. Cool, I guess. Seems like a shitty reason to live somewhere. Let's change that to no one else wants to. Yeah. How about that? It's just that to no one else wants to. Yeah. How about that?

How about that? It's just that macho Americana. Like, we do it because we're tough. Yeah. There's also a sign hanging in the police station that said there are many ways to die on Alaska's highways. Oh, really? Tell me more.

One of them th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th them is vampires. I know. You've really caught my interest. What are they? So are the survivors, the non-vambouric people, hold up in a, and an attic for, there's like, what, seven of them or eight of them in this attic? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And to show time passing, we get Josh Hartnett's dirt stash. It's the only thing that really shows that time has passed. Gets like a shaggy dirt stash and goate after a certain amount of time. And how long, this is, they go to the store after the attic, right? Well, they're up in the attic, right? Oh well. They're up in the attic for like 18 days? Yeah, how are they surviving in that attic?

Do they, okay, yeah. I mean, I have the note, where are they pooping? Yeah, because the guy goes downstairs and he's like, is there a bathroom down here? Like, it's been 18 days. Where did you poop? I guess you can just poop and like, the the the the the thethink that vampires would be like, look at this huge pile of human turns under this window. And then that old man goes right out the fucking window, like a dummy.

You know that old guy was just there to die. Like the minute he's there, you're like, that's checkoff's oldie. That's the bummer. Yeah. Yeah, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, yeah, he, yeah, yeah, he's, yeah, the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, he's th, th, th, th, th is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the is theeeeeeean. thean. It's thean. theeean. the is thi. the is's dad. Yeah, it was a bummer. Yeah, yeah When he's like get your mom too and you're like single-tier. So speaking of single-tier, I got a little choked up when so at one point Jake the younger brother of Eben goes missing and then he finds him in the the diner and I was like I got a little choked up and I was like, the fuck is wrong Eben goes missing, and then he finds him in the diner. And I was like, I got a little choked up, and I was like, the fuck is wrong with me? You have been a hormonal thing to day? Yeah, probably. I feel like I could not bring myself to care about any of the people in this movie.

I just cared not a wit for them. I didn't care if they back together. I was sad that grandma died just because she was the one running the grow operation. There just wasn't anything to make me care if they died. Which is a shame because the vampires are so scary. So if you're like actually scared for the people they're coming for, it matters, you know. Right. That's pretty low stakes because they're all so shitty. They're all just so bland. Yeah. And then like at the end they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their they're all they're all they're all they're all to make, to make. to make. their, their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. they're the. they're all they're all. Yeah. And then like at the end they're all so willing to sacrifice themselves. No you're not. You know. This is America. The best example I think is Charlie who is the guy who gets changed by the little girl vampire in the store. Okay. And when he realizes that he's been changed, he's like, you have to kill me. But first, so anyone gives a fuck about me, I'm going to tell you that my whole family's

been dead for a month. Yeah. What? By the way? Yeah. Yeah. That guy was like psyched. She's like, oh, I get a monologue in this scene. That's awesome. I was really pumped on the little girl who turned him because she had tattoos on her upper arms. Oh, I didn't notice that. She had an upside-down orthodox, like Russian Orthodox cross on one arm and I was just like, like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, a small child. We're kind of into the same thing. Weird.

It was just like, huh. Probably a small child? We're kind of into the same stuff. Imagine being her mom and like taking her for this audition. And they're like, okay, Chrissy. Scream like you mean it. And the mom being like, you're not going to cover her tattoos up, right? Because I've got a lot of money for those.

Yes, sir. But I do like that. We talked about the like getting turned at a certain age and what that like I like the little kid vampire like Yeah that guy from near dark. I hate that guy from near dark though. Such a dildo. No way he smoked cigarettes and likes burrows. He's a dildo. Yeah, he's a dildo. But yeah, I just like that that kind of like that would be that would be hellishish to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be thishishishishishishishishishishishish to be to be to be to be the the to be thishishishishish to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be just that like. I to be to be to be like. I to be like to be like to be like to be likedue. I to be likedue. I to be likedue. I to be like I to be like I that like I that like I that like I that like. I that like. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the th. I the thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I te. I tha. I tha. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I thi. I th I just like that kind of like, that would be, it would be hellish to be just a little child for eternity. Yeah. Yeah, hellish for everybody else. Yeah. See, I don't, they aren't scary though.

The kid vampires are kind of the scariest. Oh, you know, they're really super creepy. She was like, uh, the, the, the, I'm done, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. thi, that, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, that, that, that, that, that, that would, that would, that would, th. It would, th. It would, th. It's, th. It's, they're really super creepy. She was like, ugh. Although the, the, I'm done playing with ham line. It was like, really, come on. Not good, yes, agreed. Agreed. We were all scared of that in pet cemetery. You don't need to keep doing it. It's a very like, kids say the damnedest things, you know?

Out of the little brother kills her though, right? Oh yeah he does, and like a very emotional scene. He gives her the axe and I was like, today you are a man. Like that's when he changes. That's his thing. Because finally he's like, all right I'm doing this. So he kind of elevates himself in that scene I think. Prepping himself for his brother to give his estranged wife away to him at the end of it. Yes, and he's going to now be the sheriff of the town. So that's the secret life affair Alaska. Now we know what goes on there. So this is all leading up to Josh Hartnett turning himself into a vampire.

Right. It seemed unnecessary though, completely a hundred percent unnecessary. This is when this movie falls apart for me in like a really bummer way. He doesn't and how he turns himself into a vampire is by injecting himself with Billy's blood. Billy who has previously killed his entire family. Yeah, Billy. don't be a tellipath. Yeah Billy. don't be a hero. Don't worry I won't. Okay thanks. B Billy. B Billy. B Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy's b. Billy. Billy's b. Billy's blood. Billy's blood. Billy's blood. Billy's blood. Billy's blood. Billy's blood. Billy's blood. Billy's blood. Billy's blood. Billy's blood. Billy's blood. Billy's blood. Billy's blood. Billy's blood. Billy's blood. Billy. Billy's blood. Billy. Billy. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Okay thanks. I'll just kill my family. Yeah and then sit here and wait. Did he have that shaggy emotional hair before the vampires came because that she was just long. No just had a long hair. It's been 30 days of no hair cuts let's not forget. It's true. So yeah so Josh Hart and it stupidly turns himself into a vampire so that he can fight

Anthony Vordain vampire. But it's just to say Stella, right? That's the whole reason he's doing it. Moments. Moments. And after she has run out to like rescue a child, they're using his bait. Like, haven't you seen them using someone as bait every day for the last 30 days? Yeah.

What are you doing? Yeah. Whatever. Just wrapping this thing up. I guess. They were like, how can we end? I don't know. I don't know.

Well, the vampires have lit the town on fire and the fires coming towards Stella. . to that something horrible has happened here like there there will be no no evidence left behind I really like that although can you really just hack into the pipeline like that I would think it's pretty pretty I mean those things explode all the time do they yeah that's why nobody wants that keystone pipeline oh yeah I'll never be a the and plus they have ridiculous strength and the the they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to to the try try try try try to try try try to try they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they. The vampires are just tossing everyone all over the place. The car is turning them over while they're moving. That scene where they lift the truck up? I found that really harrowing for some reason.

Like just the idea of like trying to drive and then all of a sudden the truck is just going up in the air and on fire where he's like, we've spent so long convincing them that we are a nightmare. Which I liked a lot, yeah. I also like the part where the girl's like, oh God, and he goes, no God. It's like the only words in English and I was like, uh, uh, there's a terrifying. There's a terrifying, that's the me. It's kind of like does the God question God? He like looks up at the sky like that's where you find God. Yeah. Not today. You're gonna kill her. You don't have to be a dick about. They do. They're like they kill that guy's dogs and then

they kill his wife and then seven days later or something they kill him. Yeah. They're like we got 30 days we might just stretch out and enjoy it. Let's like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.to kill him. Yeah. They're like, we got 30 days, we might as well just stretch out and enjoy it. Let's like, kill that guy in a while. Why didn't they just, why didn't the vampires go the next 80 miles to the next downtown and eat all them people too? Like, they're not using their time. The office vampire is not putting this together very well. Project manager vampire is fired on this one. I do at the very end though when he changes himself into a vampire and he goes out to fight

what's the lead guy's name? Marla. Marla. I feel like at this moment I'm like this is like a battle the bands because they start playing that music behind him and I'm like it's just the industrial band versus like the grunge band like that. Because before he does it he goes they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll te te te te te tel te te te te the the the the the th grunge band like that because before he does it he goes they'll kill her if she runs she'll burn if she stays and I'm like what a great grunge song perfect for the grunge band like that's like straight off a sound garden album right just like that's all this really is at the end of the day that's what this really is at the end of the day. That's what this is about. So he kills Marlowe.

Does anyone want to say how he kills Marlowe? I don't remember? Oh, he punches him through the mouth out the back of the goddamn hath. Oh, that's why I have written here mortal combat fatality. Yes, exactly. I couldn't remember if that had something to do with the machine or not. Okay. Yeah, that was a bummer. I didn't like that, ending. So that was why he changed himself was to have the strength to punch through the back of

his head. I guess so? Apparently. Yeah. And so he could turnping into the wind. Oh my god, and she's left with just a briquet of love. It's hot. Okay. Yeah. And probably regret, I would think. And then the briquet of regret. Does Josh Hart and it smell good while he's barbecuing? Or does he smell like cooking axed body spray? It's been 30 days though. He's pretty primal.

You don't think he's axing at this point? That dirt stash? He's used a literal axe, but not the body spray. Yes. Oh, axe bloody spray. How many people did he have to axe, tox by the way? Like, he had to axe all of his friends' heads off in this movie. I'm like, he had to do some shitty shit in this movie. It's true. Repeated, yeah, yeah, yeah, repeatedly.

He did like the main vampire crushed somebody's head wearing galoshes. He just had like a nice squishy rubber boot on all he crushed that dude's head. Oh yeah, what, who was that dude's, I was, I, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he was, like, like, like, like, he, he, he, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. He, he, he. He, he, he. He, he, he, he. He, he, he. He. He. He. He. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. tried, th. tried, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh yeah. What, who was that dude's? I don't remember that dude's name. It was, uh, it was, uh, they asked him sons of an anarchy. It's just what I kept thinking of him as. And yeah, I felt so bad for him because he, I think he was trying to blow himself up in the, in the bar, the restaurant or whatever, so he wouldn't have to have to be their have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have been have been have been have been have been have been I guess? Or on the door and just lay there for a while? Yeah. Yeah. It seemed like that much dynamite would have done more damage to a building.

Oh yeah, for sure. It seemed extensive. And then it was just like, peep! He had like the 20 pack. Like, that should have blown everything. And just like knocked him out of window. Like, it's very dainty. Unless all other explosions in film have lied to us up until this point. I guess I don't know much about explosives when you get down to it. We're gonna have to buy a box of dynamite and see what it does.

Yeah, cool. Yeah. We have to find something we can blow up. At well. We'll work on that. Yeah. My last note that I have is, I want to drive the chainsaw truck. I just want to drive it around and chainsaw stuff. When he was driving around, chainsawing up all the vampires, that was really fun. Yeah, yeah, that was good actually. When they like fell on the front of the truck and like split in half. Yeah, who doesn't want that's to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive the to drive to drive to drive to drive the same to drive to drive to drive to drive the same the same to drive to drive the to drive their their their the to drive the their their their their their their their their their 't want to drive that thing? I assume it's for chainsawing ice? I don't know what it's for. Is that the same chainsaw truck that hit her at the beginning of the movie and caused Stella

to end up staying in town? I believe so. But she has to go because she has to pay her bills. Because you can't pay bills online in 2007. Well our plants were going to die too, Katie, not forget about that. That's true. Speaking of plants dying, was anybody else real bummed when Grandma's plants were all dead? Also, like, how much of weed is Grandma going through? Because she had quite an operation.

I wish instead of it's my medicine, she's just been like, I got me that cheddar, son? You know people need weed up there, like, it's hard to get it there..... And, and, and, and, and, and you, and you, to, and you, to, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, to, thi, to, th, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, th. th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Was thi. Was thi. thi. Was thi. Was thi. Was thi. Was thi. Was thi. Was thi. Was thi. Was thi. Was thi. You know people need weed up there like it's hard to get it there. Oh my god when you're so bored. When Slingblade is in the diner and they're like oh alcohol is illegal for these 30 days I was like that's the horror story are you fucking kidding me like you 30 days a night and no one's selling you alcohol like what? No wonder grandma has so much gonged? Like, it seems like a terrible, terrible world to live in. Oh no, it does not seem fun. I mean, isn't that why all Finland are alcoholics because of the amount of like the lack of sunlight there? Yeah. Sorry, Finland. Sorry to our fans and fans. Yeah, you're not all. I'm a lot. That's why I sit in the

dark all the time so I can be drunk constantly. Self and Bose 30 days of night. I think to be drunk in the light because I'm prettier when I'm drunk. Oh, God. At least that's what the drinks are telling you. Yeah, so much funnier too. Yeah, I know. What, whoa. All right, on that note, do we want to move on to the ratings phase? Yeah. I'll go first. All right. Gretty. I'm sorry.

My that's not. I'm sorry. I'm going first. All right. Katie. I remember being disappointed by this. I'll go first. I remember being disappointed by this movie, I think because of the last scene, which was still as disappointing this time as it was last time, though at least it didn't surprise me. But it was actually, I really enjoyed this movie. It was long, but in all of the acting where they had to have feelings, I felt was just... It should have been on the cutting room floor. They should have just had the

vampires to send. I don't care about these people's relationships. But the vampires are so good, and those scenes were so scary with them like circling and looming. I actually really enjoyed it. I'm giving it seven. Oh, awesome. So if you want to get on Facebook and talk about how I hate everything, remember this. Remember. Yeah commentators. Yeah. Allison, would you like to go next with your rating? I sure well. What I think is funny is I remember loving this movie and then when I had to go back and watch it thinking okay I'm gonna talk about it then I saw some things I hadn't seen before flaw wise but I still I still came down on a seven as well nice oh okay and I kind of met in the middle there yeah or at a seven whatever that in the whatever that's in the middle of the upper middle I yeah I also remembered this movie being hell a dumb I remember I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th th th th th the the th that the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th I thin I thin I thin I thin I thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin the thin the thin the that thin that that that that that th's the middle of the upper middle. You guys are in the upper middle. I also remembered this movie being hella dumb.

I remember hating Josh Hartnett. Oh really? Yeah, for some reason I did not like it. Just don't like that teen beat look. Maybe not. Yeah. This time I was to piss me off anyway. And it still was like, this is dumb. You could have ended a better movie and you'd be a better movie. I had already locked in an eight on this. Oh wow. Great. I really into like, like some of the scary parts were seriously, like them jumping through the window to grab people. Like I hated that. Like that got like my home invasion. It was just like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. thi. Not my thing. Yeah. I'm surprised. I felt like we were going to really tear this movie apart and then it tore us apart

in a way. It didn't. It tore those, the people apart. It jumped through my window. Yeah. I just started singing that to the tune of the one. No God. No, God. That was much, much better. Anyone got a regular?

No, cough drop. Say, Allison, you really, you messed up our year of rage. That's okay. I'm so, so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I'm actually glad I came back to this movie and realized it wasn't terrible. For sure. Yeah.

I mean, I feel a little tear. Single tear coming on, guys. No, you chose a really good one. Thanks. You know what else is really good? What else is really good, Katie? Cryptocurium. Oh, Cryptocurium. Oh, it is. Parcel of Terror. Parcel of Terror is a monthly subscription box that you can buy from our friend Jason at

CryptoCURIUM.com. It, why don't you tell us about it? It is a, as Katie said, a monthly subscription box, it's $35 a month and you get box filled with awesome horror business. There's magnets. He's just been doing this line of slasher magnets that are amazing. There's wall plaques, there's stickers. There's often the piece of candy in there. What's quite delectable. There's art by other artists including past guest, Michael Bukowski and Gene D'angelo. It's just rad stuff. Like the he has one coming up for, I think it's for the March one, has like a stafoft marshmallow man,

a sticker in it and a big foot magnet. It's just awesome looking stuff in it. So maybe that's a wall plaque. Anything, big foot, it's awesome. But the point is you can find out what's in it before it actually comes out and decide if you want it or not. So you can buy just one month or you can buy all the months. All the months. All the months. I feel like we shouldn't even tell them it's an option to just buy one month. So buy all the months. Give Jason your credit card number and walk away. Social Security, whatever you want to give him. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. You can hear a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good. He's a good. He's a good. He's a good. He's a good. He's a good. He's a good. He's a good. He's a good. He's a good. He's a good. He the the the the the the the the the th. He. He. He. He. He. He the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I feel. I feel like. I feel like. I feel like. I feel like. I feel like. I feel like. I feel like. I feel like. I feel like. I feel like. I th. You can hear him on the alien episode. Sounds trustworthy. It does. Yeah.

So you can go to Cryptocurium.com and go to the parcel, click on the parcel of Terror and sign up. You'll like it. Thanks to Jason for sponsoring us again. Thanks Jason. So now that we're plugging, Allison do you have a comedian? Comedian? Comedian? What's the proper... Just comedian, I guess. Comedian. Comedian. Isn't the feminine? Isn't the...

Comedianny. That's what I. Any. A little orphaned comedian. I'm sure. You can get my album Forever 32. What? That's so many?

Thank you. It's on iTunes. and it's also on Estoy merchandise.com where you can also get the Forever 32 T-shirt if you're so inclined. So buy it, buy it all. And you're on Twitter? Oh yes, Alistair. That's me. Yes. And we are on Twitter and Facebook. You're on. Oh yes, Alistair. That's me. Yes. And we are on Twitter and Facebook and fucking We're on guys you know where we are honestly googled the words and where will family on us the other day Just to see like what other people think of us and literally like the first four pages of Google hits were just ours like just like our website and like things we've done. It was like a little disappointing It was like a little disappointing. So if you can't find us on the internet. I don't know what to tell you. Yeah. We we we we we we we we we we're. We're. We're, like. We're, like. We're, like. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the you. you. you. you you you you you the you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, just the So if you can't find us on the internet I don't know what to tell you. Yeah we're right there at the top of

the internet. Yeah, that's the way I'm looking at it. We're the front page of the internet I think we can safely say without being sued that's not true. So yeah I think that's that's pretty much it right. Yeah thanks thanks for th th. T th. T th. T that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. T that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. T that's thi. T that's thi. T that's thi. T that's that's thi. T that's that's that's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's th. That's th. That's that's that's th. That's that's that's th. T that's that's th. T that's th. T that's th. T that's th. T that's thi. T that's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee. the. the. the. the. the. thee. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, thanks for 30 days of night. That was awesome. I really, really, thanks for having me. Thank you. What are we doing next week? Oh, yeah, that's the other thing we have to talk about before we end an episode Yeah. Next week we are doing all cheerleaders die. The Lucky McKee movie. It's on Netflix, so that's a bonus. Come on. Think about how happy that guy's name is, Lucky McKee! It is, is that his birth name? I don't know. I hope not. His parents are lepricons. Okay, we're just expecting a puppy and got him instead.

It's terrible. So yeah, all cheerleaders die, you can watch it on Netflix like I did. I did too. Yeah. And, um, come back next week and listen to us talk about it, guys. And thank you for interacting with us on the internet. And thank you, Allison, for tweeting and retweeting and talking to us on the internet. Always. And being an awesome supporter. And an awesome guest.

Thank you. And an awesome guest. Thanks so much. And thanks for listening to another episode of wherewulf ambulance. Bye. Bye. Say goodbye Allison Goodbye Allison