Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 71- All Cheerleaders Die (2013)

Episode Date: February 29, 2016

This week we're discussing the absolutely bananas 2013 high school horror film "All Cheerleaders Die," which is currently available on Netflix streaming if you've not yet seen it, and you should really see it before you listen to this episode. Special topics for discussion include: the fact that high school is still the worst, whether or not people have actual abs, the impracticality of pleather, bizarre love triangles, wishing for a Pumpkinhead, hilariously falling into animal traps, freezerboxes and feeling very strange and conflicted about this movie. Have you see this one? What do you think? Did you feel as weirdly up and down as we did? Let us know at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Instagram @werewolfambulance or on Twitter @werebulance. Also, if you liked this episode, tell a friend! Help us grow our Werewolf Ambulance universe! Please also visit our sponsor at cryptocurium.com to sign up for the Parcel of Terror, the absolute best monthly subscription box money can buy. You're gonna love it. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Maybe we should get like a theme song that pumps us up or something. Oh yeah. I mean the song we have now is good but it doesn't like, like we need to listen to it in studio. I was thinking, yeah, we need something with more of a backbeat than we have right now. Some bleeps and blorps. Fat baseline, real fat, funky baseline. And maybe I could like spit 16 bars to start every episode? Yeah, will it be 16 bars like based on the movie or do it? Like is it gonna be a static? Oh yeah, it'll be film specific.

I will spend the week going up to each podcast record. I'll help you. I mean,'ll come up with something. Can you imagine what that would sound like? I think we should try it for next week. All right. Because I'm not prepared for this week. You're not prepared for this week. I mean I'm going to need you to beat box. Um, what does that sound like? Is that beat boxing? I feel like the only beat boxing I know is from TV sitcoms in the 90s and it's just like a principal doing it in school and it's really embarrassing. I really thought you were just gonna go boom. Bum.

Hi, I'm Alan and I'm here to say. You know what I mean? I do. Why am I doing a reggaeton beat? Is this our intro? That's actually pretty good, that was good. Yeah, guys. Welcome to another episode of Wherewith Ambulance.

Did you guys like that or not? Because we're going to switch it up. Sometimes we'll talk about hypothetical intros. Yeah. I'm the idea the idea the the the th the th, we'll th, we'll th, we'll th, we'll th, we'll thi thi thi, we'll thi, we'll thi, we'll thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoom, thoom, thi, thi, thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing, thoing, thoing, thoing, thoing, thoing thoing tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. tog. tog. together together together together together together together together theeeean. the. up though. I know. I'm gonna flip over our chairs and we'll be like, blah, ah, horror movies. Speaking of doing flips, flipping shit, feeds perfectly into the smooth. That was really good. Thank you. But first I have to back up and say hi, I'm Alan. Hi, I'm Katie. How are you? We're beat while you're doing that for some reason. That very simple beat I was just doing.

Okay so that's our new intro. Hi. Hi, guys. Hey. Hey. Oh, to them. We're here this week to talk about the Lucky McKee movie. All cheerleaders die. Yeah. It's like 2013 maybe? Yeah. Yeah. On Netflix, so if you haven't watched it, go watch it.

We're gonna spoil it. Oh yeah. It's bonkers. So... It's bonkers. Is this your first Lucky McKee movie? Yeah. I may have seen his entire... Ooh. He's he does. It's very female- very female focus movies. He does. There's May which is sort of like a female retelling of Frankenstein sort of in a weird way. Okay is it good? I don't care for it but I know a lot of people do. Okay. He did a couple adaptations of Jack Ketchum novels. He did Red and the woman and the woman is like fucked up. Really? Yeah I would not ever suggest anyone watch that movie. It's not bad it's a good movie but it's fucked up. This movie is very lighthearted. Very to a ridiculous level that I did not expect. Yeah. But I do want to say he has a movie called The Woods. the

would like his take on Susperea that I really like. Okay and it's got Bruce Campbell. Everybody loves Bruce Campbell. But this movie to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the movie. to the movie. the movie. to be the movie. the movie. th. the movie. th. th. th. th. th. to be to be to be th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. thee. theee. theee. thee. the. the. the. thii. the. not have Bruce Campbell. It doesn't have anybody you've ever seen from anything ever before, right? No, I don't think so. It is a high school horror movie about... It's kind of every high school horror movie. Yes and no, because it goes off the rails in so many places. It does so many like weird, unexpected things. I guess this is a really hard plot to explain, but your point of view character is Maddie, who is a gorgeous loser in high school seemingly,

which cool, great for you Maddie, who, it starts out that she's making a video where she's following people around, sort of like, I don't know, MTV style, I don't know what's happening. And she's interviewing Lexi, who is like the head cheerleader, and is just awful, so annoying. For real. I'm super glad she dies right away. She dies right away. She dies in the opening credits.

And she dies awesome. Yeah. It's such a good death. She's talked about how cheerleading is the most most most school sport and then she does like an aerial move and gets dropped on her fucking neck and it makes a terrible sound which is caught on camera. So I was watching this film and my partner was with me and she's like I'm gonna go upstairs and do some work and where I'm watching it and the neck break scene happens and she's just like sat there through the rest of the fucking movie like that hooked her I think yeah I mean you don't like you don't see it coming she maybe rewind it to show to her again and

then you can see it in slow mo le and how he's watching it in slowmo and zooming in on her broken neck like Maddie this is why you're an outsider were you annoyed that Madie didn't to try to the to to to to to to the to to to the to to to the the to to the to to to the to to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try. the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to take glasses off to be hot. Like she has like the transformation moment where she throws her hair over her shoulder. I'm like, yeah, I wasn't buying that Maddie was ever not hot. So we've met Maddie, her now deceased friend Lexi, and then there's Lena, who is Maddie's former lover. Who is like a Goth, Wicke? For Ruizabalk. But she's cool, like, I mean, not to say for Ruzovalk isn't cool, but like, I feel like I really liked Alina's character. Did you?

Yeah, did you not? Oh, yeah, she was. Lisbon Goose, which? I mean, yeah, she was, she was just so ridiculous. to thi. to be so absurd. Yeah, I loved her. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. that. that. that. that. that. that. to to to to to to to to to to to to that. that. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tha. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. th. th. th. to. the. to. the. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. that are like, is this spooky mean girls? Is this spooky? Bring it on? It's kind of Bring It On meets the Craft, I would say.

Yeah. Is this Spooky, The Craft is Spooky. Hey, guys, go back and listen to our craft episode if you want to hear our thoughts on the craft. Yeah. I just pitched our own show like you guys aren't listening to it right now. There's a little bit of spooky Freaky Friday in it too, but that comes up later. I love that though. I love that. Okay, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So let's try to make sense. Some mate, yes. So Maddie, for reasons that are at the beginning unknown to us so, so you can probably guess. No, I don't took took took took took took took took took took took than't than't than't tha. to to to to to to to thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's that's that's that's that that that that that that thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thee. to theeeeea. theeeeea. the. theee. the. the. the. the. the.. Maddie decides to join the cheerleading squad and naturally has the talent to do so

because she took gymnastics when she was a child. Heads up, I took gymnastic classes when I was a child too. I can barely touch my toes. Granted, I'm in my 30s, but still. She seems to have it out for Terry, who is the quarterback. He's not the quarterback. He's the quarterback. He's the quarterback. He's the quarterback. He's the quarterback. He's the quarterback. He's the quarterback. He's the quarterback. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's thian. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be tooen. tooen. too. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the too too tha. tha, he's not the quarterback, I don't know what he is. He's the ballman, he's a sports player on the football team. But we don't really know why. Yeah, he's, although that you can probably guess. He's Lexi's ex-boyfriend.

Yeah. And she kind of states that he immediately starts dating Tracy. Tracy as soon as Lexi, like, Lexi's corpse isn't even cold before they start boon and... And Tracy is like a prototypical blonde cheerleader girl. Every girl in this high school is insanely gorgeous. Even the one that they're like calling ugly, the girl has to wear the dog costume, Hannah. Yeah, she's gorgeous. It was like... Well, cheerleading. Everybody has abs. Everybody's abs. No. No, that's not real. I don't think. Do people have abs? I don't know. Just that man that looks like a fist with

them. But um... So then we meet Terry's friends who are Vic the quarterback, Manny, who like, there's a weird love triangle around and I'm not sure why. And then the two stoner guys who are just filler. Yeah. Although I liked I like like to to to to to to be like to be like to be like to be like to be like to be like to be like to be like the to be like to be like to be like the to be like to be like their to be like to be like to be like to be like their to be like their just just just just just just just like their. Just that. Just that. Just that. Just that. Just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. I like. I like like. I like like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. the. the. the. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the. the. the. the and I'm not sure why and then the two stoner guys Yeah, who are just filler. Yeah They're just to be bodies like yeah, they were probably the most likeable out of those dudes. Yeah Although Vic is supposed to be our heroic. I mean he tries he's very confused by what happens as am I and as are you watching this movie So so it's so lighthearted it gets into some fucking heavy shit man, and it's a th???????? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. they. the the th. the the th. the they's they's they's they's they. they. Yeah, they're just they're they're they're they're just they're just they're just they're they're they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they's they. Yeah. Yeah. they. they. they. they. Yeah. Yeah. they. they. they. Yeah. Yeah. they. Yeah. Yeah. they. Yeah. they. they. they's they's they. I's they're they. I's they. I's they. I's they. I's they. I's they. I's they. I's they're just just they're they're they're just they're they're they're they're they're this movie. So... Because it's so light-hearted, but it gets into some fucking heavy shit, man. And it's a really slow start. Like, I forgot, I had watched this movie only once before, and we watched it at Lady's Nightmare with some of our previous guests from this show.

And so watching it with like a group of girls was like super fun watching it in a group or yelling and it's, oh my god, look at this. And then watching it by myself, I was kind of like, oh, what are you doing? You know? But the first half hour is super slow. It's just this, all the relationships building and like, you don't really care too much. Yeah, yeah, for sure. It almost seems like it's setting it up to be a series. Yeah. Which we'll get, like, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the first their, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first. the first. the first. the first, the first. the first. the first. the first, the first. the first, the first, the first. the first. their, their, their, their, their, their, their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. the first the first the first the first the first the first as well. But yeah, it's got like they're like putting into concrete who everybody is what all their relationships are and there's a lot of love triangling going on. Yes, one of which is Lena, Maddie and

Tracy. Yeah. Because Maddie is apparently broken up with Lena, but Lena just named her cat after Maddie. Yeah, which is great. And early on which I kind of didn't catch but did and then it came up later she said I named her Maddie and then she got sick Yeah and she's like oh so he named it after me and she got sick and she's like yeah and she died. And but then the cat exists later right. Because she brought it back to life. Because she brought it back to life which she does multiple times thi out the movie I guess. Yeah so basically th. So so so th. So thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they. Yeah. the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. Yeah. So. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. So. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. th. sort of like a girls versus boys scenario. Right. And it seems very light-hearted until Terry fucking punches Tracy in the face. And it's all of a sudden the movie just like flips for a second. But it's still kind of joky? It's like uncomfortably joky because it gets even heavier later on like. Yeah. Before we go any further I need to say that I love Martha's turtlenecks and blazers.

Oh yeah. Martha's like the matronly cheerleader. And I love her. She's so great. I love her. Yeah, she did have a... She was interesting. Yeah, she had some, like, they did a really good job of like giving these like kind of cardboard characters a little little, like, like, like, some, like, they did a really good job of like giving these like kind of cardboard characters a little bit of depth.

Yeah. She's like religious and Manny loves her, but her younger sister Hannah's in love with Manny. Manny doesn't want anything to do with Hannah, even though she's like absolutely beautiful and seemingly very nice also. They're all, it's just so nice. And Manny just really wants to go to the bone zone. And he does, which is hilarious to me. Anyway. Tracy gets punched by Terry,

and then they all sort of get into cars and drive away fast. Right. There's like a tussle. Yeah. They drive away. The boys are chasing the girls on these windy, windy roads. And a girl's car goes over the guard, through the guard rail, over hill and into a body of water. Yeah.

It's sad, I guess. It is, and Terry prevents Vic from running down there to help. Yeah. Which he obviously could have helped because Lena comes running down and pulls their bodies out. But not enough time because they're all dead. They are all dead. Noping's the movie. Thanks guys. Yeah. Nope. Rating's face? No. Oh. We've also seen Lena playing with crystals. Did you think when she was shaking that thing up and

drop them that she was going to be dropping polyhedral die? It's just the sound. The clickity, clicity, cliciddy. I was like, oh, what do you go mate? What do you over to talk to her, she's like you have to wish for something but you have to be ready for the consequences. And Hannah clearly wishes that I guess she could be like her sister. Yeah. That comes back to Haunt. I thought you might be excited because she explains monkey Paul basically to her? Like you know, and the mom wished for her son to come home and he came home in a body bag. Yeah, it made sense. Why? Why mann't? that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's they? they? that's that's that's that's they? that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's they. they. they. they. the the the they. the the the the the th. th. that's that's that that's that's that's that's that's that's that? He's not that cute. Doesn't seem very smart. No, uh-uh. They should be after Vic. He was like the only cute one.

Or maybe the stoner guys, because they had mean. I don't know. I don't know. Prior to knowing how awful Terry was you. You didn't think that the quickly so I think that kind of colored it but if he had been not portrayed in such a light I he's pretty cut yeah pretty hunky yeah do high school kids look like these people yeah to high school look like thi school to the first day of school and like I don't know I don't know I could find my high school I did not look at. I could find my the idea of the first day of the the the their book book book book book book book book book book book book book book their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their Funny too, like they go to the first day of school and like watching that scene I was like,

oh, the idea of the first day of school still makes me want to fall. Still makes me feel sick. The idea of like shopping for clothes to go to school. And then you feel like the first day outfit. And then you feel like the first day out. It's because you're not from Pittsburgh. When you're from Pittsburgh, you have a Kenywood outfit. It's so important, because you're going to Kennywood and you're going to go in there to be seen.

So you pick out a Kenywood outfit. I've been to Kettiewood once, so it's sweatpants, Ugs. This is unisex, by the way. I thought that you were describing your own Kennywood outfit to's cute. I am in sweatpants right now. Yeah. I'm breaking the fourth wall, guys. You know that I'm in sweatpants and a shitty Batman t-shirt. It's a shitty Batman.

It's very strange. I would watch the movie, shitty Batman. We should make the movie shitty Batman. I'm getting tou-lgib-a-li! If you want to make it. So we that that that that, some sort of wizard, some sort of witch. She's wickin, I guess. And she does some contouring after she pulls all the dead bodies out of the car and all the sudden these stones go animated and go into all their wounds and it's crazy town.

Yeah, they each get one of these stones embedded in them and then Lena gets one embedded like in the middle of her chest. Yeah, so weird. And they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the to the to the the to the theee the thee thee the the the the th, so weird. And then the next thing they know they're waking up at Lena's house. Yeah. And they're undead. Undead cheerleaders is a great concept. I couldn't tell if they were going to be zombies or what they're doing, they were just coming back to life and everything was cool because the cat seemed fine. Oh, that's interesting that the cat wasn't f-a. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the cat seemed. the cat seemed. Yeah. the cat seemed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the cat seemed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah cat wasn't feeding on blood. Yeah. Because they need blood to live, as it turns out now. It does. When we find that out when they suck the neighbor across the street dry. I love that though. Because like what a weird morning Larry's having.

Like this girl, a high school girl comes in in her underwear, opens your fridge and that she drinks a day. Larry's like I think you should I don't I like that he was conflicted that he wasn't just like immediately like scuz bucket yeah yeah I'm just kind like Larry doesn't understand what's going on here. Larry yeah what a weird day for Larry and it ends with him being sucked dry and looking like Freddie Kruger crunchy doll and then the girl stands up and says my favorite line in the movie which she goes, I feel freaking fantastic. And I just loved it. I really did.

I really did. Oh, at this point, too, we realize that Hannah and Martha's bodies have been switched there in one another's bodies. Right, because we see Martha and she's just standing there, cupping her breast and smiling. And I was like, well, that's a weird way way that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's a weird, that's a weird, that's a weird, that's a weird, that's a weird, that's a weird, that's a weird, that's a weird, that's a weird, that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that's that's, that's, that, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's a weird. I. I. that's a weird. that's a weird. that's a weird. that's a weird. that's a weird that's a weird way. that's a weird way, that's a weird. that's a that's a that's a that's a weird. that's a that's a that's a weird. that's a to. that's a that's maybe I don't know. Yeah. And then Hannah freaks out because she realizes that she's now and Martha's in Hannah's body. That's the freeky Friday things get so confusing because it was where when they're doing what? Yeah. With Jamie Lee Curtis inside of Lindsay Lohan's body

everything's very confusing. Vice versa with the Fred Savage and Judge Reinhold. Oh with the heavy metal band Malice in it. Oh, I don't remember that, but that is great. So they show up to the first day of school, dressed in like plethather cheerleading outfits. So weird. Very impractical. You're not doing flips in this.

I fucking lost my mind because they're all in plethift. And the tolusk-I tall-I tall-I toy-I th-I th-I th-I th-a th-I th-a-I th-I th-I th-I th-a-o-o-o-o-a-o-o-o-o-o-o-a'er-o-a'er-a'er, I's tho-wee, I th-a'er, I tho-a' tho-a' that, that, that,utting, too, which I loved. I really, like, there's a lot of little jokes in the movie like that that I really, really liked. And I lost it over that, it was so good. I was just like, that, that wins. Yeah. I do have a note that the car crash earlier reminds me how much I love the song, when there's that whole buildup, which she's what happened and then there's a car crash sound. I was like, such a good song, man.

Okay, yeah, all right. You could think these two thoughts too when you're 40 and weird. Speaking of weird, Lena is just making the crystals dance at her desk. Why, Lena, be cash. Be cash. You're not dead. You have to keep living. She's so pumped, like, that her magic's worked. Oh yeah, she's just like losing her mind. Oh my god, yeah. And she also was just letting them feed from her because she keeps saying, you need blood, you're weak, you need blood. Yeah, I felt that that was maybe a metaphor. Probably. Then Hannah has sex with Mannyannyannyannyannyannyannyannyannyanny man man man man man that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that was maybe a metaphor. Probably. Then Hannah has sex with Manny in her sister's body and he is surprised to find that her

vagina is cold. Her undead vagina is cold. You're so, it's supposed to be, you're supposed to be cold, right? In that sweet, sweet freezer box or whatever. That was also a good joke when he's bragged to his friend. He's like, I got all up in that freezer box. They're like, what? I don't even know what you're talking about. What are you telling you about?

It's supposed to be cold, right? Jesus just walks away from him. Yeah. That's poor Vic, who is trying call this teenager a pussy. Yeah, Coach Taylor would never do that. No, poor Vic is just trying. But he gets tackled back into the team by Terry. Terry's such a dick. And just his sociopathness is just being up and up. There's a scene where he's sitting in his bedroom with the tea. the te. the the the, the the, the, the, the, the, theat theat theat theat theat theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, the, th th th thin, thin, thin, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the the the which is like sort of the mirror image of the girl sleeping in Lena's house. And he's just like setting off animal traps with sticks, letting you know that he has a collection of animal traps?

Yeah. Why? You're in like suburban California, standing like. Maybe it's supposed to say the like, you know, serial killers supposedly start with animals and move up to humans. So he truly is a sociopath. He's real into like the freshman girls too. He's talking about how they were blowing bubbles in eighth grade the year before which is just gross. Terry you are yeah you are no. You're everything that's no. Yeah he is everything that's no.

I can't remember so there's there's there's the scene where Tracy sees Maddie's diary. Like she has like a, as I assume every kid does now, a video diary where they explain their entire life to the internet or to a computer and she sees that Maddie is talking shit on Tracy and saying how dumb she is and how she's gonna get in with all these dumb girls and they're so stupid and she hates them all and Maddie says, that was like a week ago. I also really liked. Yeah they go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their their their. their their their their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tre. I tre. I tre. I tre. I tre. I was tra. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. I. true. didn't know you then, which I also really liked. Yeah, they go to the bone zone so quick. Yeah, well, high school, you know. Yeah, the trac.

She does seem to actually develop an affinity for Tracy though. But Tracy freaks out and leaves. And then Martha and Hannah leave, too, I guess. Everybody Tracy freaks out and leaves. Right. And then Martha and Hannah leave too, I guess. Everybody splits up at this point. Yeah. Because they're like fighting over a cell phone. I don't know. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It really doesn't. Has she revealed yet what Terry did to her? This is after they leave because she tells Lena. Okay. And it's that Terry has predictably raped her. Because it's sad to say that like a football player has done something wrong

and you're like, well, I'd probably rape someone. You know, yeah. It's shitty. It's our society, America. Yeah. I was kind of like all the way up to it. It's like, don't make that be the, uh, of course it is. It has to way, life is terrible. Yeah. Yeah.

It's pretty a bummer. So Terry shows up and murders Hannah in her sister's body. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, murders Hannah first as Martha. And then murders Martha when Martha tries to kill him. Because Martha comes in and beats the other, one of the stoner guys in the head until he dies. We forgot to talk about how she kills the stoner guy in the van. Tracy? Yeah.

And then everybody gets like period cramps and falls over because these. Well, we also forgot to talk about when Hannah Maddie is fucking that kid, all fucking him as well. Oh yeah, that's right. They all fall to the ground. They're all connected by these crystals now that are embedded in them. And then they kill Manny too, which is, I forgot to mention, like throw him up a tree. That's right, Hannah. Martha kills him as Hannah. For sleeping their, body swapping. Yeah. I liked it though. I really liked the manna, manna, manny Martha,

Hannah. Oh that's a real Benifer moment. Yeah, subplot. Yeah, no, no, it was like, it was a, they didn't have to do that and I like that they did. Yeah. It's just to make this movie even more bonkers. So Terry cuts the stones out of their skin and starts swallowing them. And then he gets like other voices, which I thought was strange. It's super powerful. Yeah.

This movie's like an almost a TPK. Yeah. Almost everybody dies. to take the the stone out of Lena's neck. Everything keeps happening around the cemetery. I forgot to mention that because I do have the note earlier are they going to see pumpkin head because they keep just walking back into this really overgrown cemetery. Yeah I wish pumpkin head had showed up and we're all a little bit pumpkin head. I just have notes and just say Terry is a real shit bag over and over. Yeah, he really is. I mean, he has no redeeming qualities.

He's just an ultra-bad guy. And the only adult other than one teacher that we see is Larry. Larry, yeah. There's no parents. No parents, no cops, no teachers. We do see briefly like maybe a guidance counselor that Vic tries to talk to when he thinks that the girls are dead. But she looks the same ages then. Yeah, yeah. She's wearing a suit though. It's true.

Just a blazer. So Maddie kills Vic because she needs his blood to get strong, to fight Terry, which I thought was kind of dick of Maddie because he'd been on her side all along. Yeah, for sure. Then Tracy is chasing Terry or running away from Terry and she falls into a pile of animal traps, which is really awful. Yeah, earlier in the movie when they're running into the, they're in the cemetery we see that there's a big, uh, those are a hole that they have to go around. into this hole after Terry like jumps over because he's super sportsman now and it's filled

with his traps that she keeps just hilariously falling on. Yeah, it's just like stay still. She can't stop falling on them. She can't do it. And so that kills her eventually. One like snaps her head and kills her. I think it hits her right in her gem, which is in her forehead, yeah. And so he's now, now Maddie and Lena are running after him and he corners them in the graveyard and he tries to get Lena to show him how to use this stuff.

He takes the bag off, the bag of gems that he had, or crystals that he had stolen from her earlier. Do we see at this point that they're on Alexis's grave? I don't, I don't know when I noticed that. I think it may not have been until the crystal goes into the ground. Oh right, right, right. But it's, it's in the scene. So Maddie, or Lena does some business and like activates the crystals inside of him. Yeah. And this is basically what kills him. They'll rip out of his body. Right, it also kills th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I notice th. I notice th th th th th th. I notice th. I've th. I've thi thi, I've thi, I notice thi. I've thi, I've thi. I've th. I've th. I th. I've th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I th. I I I th. I I I I I I th. I I I th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah, I th. I th. I th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm this is basically what kills him. They'll rip out of his body, but it also rips out of Maddie's body. Right and kills her. Which you're like, Maddie can't die. Right? She can't die. No. She shouldn't. Well, she doesn't. No. Well, she comes

back to life again maybe. I'm not really. Because you guys an amazing wizard. Yeah. Lena has like serious powers of resurrection. Yeah. And we see one of the st. the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. M. th. th. M. M. I, th. M. th. M. th. M. M. It's like, th. It's like, that's that's that's that's that. It. It. It. It's that. It. It. It's. It. It's. It. It. It. It's. M. M. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. I. It's. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's. It's. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's like, th. I. I. I's like, th. I. I's like, like, like, th. I's like, like, like, like, like, th. I's like, th. It into the earth, and I was like, why is that doing that? Yeah. Because we're over, Lexi's great. Yeah, and then Alexi comes crawling up, apparently buried in her cheerleading outfit? Of course. Because it's what she loves. It's what she was.

And she just comes out and screams. And then it's the credit, all the cheerleaders die, part one. I think that's a, I think it's, I don't think there is a part two. I don't think there's gonna be a part two. Well, this is a remake of the same movie that they did in 2001. Oh, really? Yeah, lucky McKee and the Oh really? It's terrible. Terrible and good and bad. But yeah, I think the part one is just a little jape. Little jape.

Yeah. Because I immediately googled it and was like, when is part two coming out? And it didn't, there wasn't anything about it. Terry's character's name is Terry Stankus. funny. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, that's that's pretty much the entirety of all cheerleaders die. Yeah, I loved it when I saw it at Ladies Nightmare and then when I watched it again I texted you and was like, this is not what I remember. But then describing it now I love it again. I feel very strange about this movie. I love it. Your text ended with whoops whoops. I went through like a gambit of emotions watching it.

Yeah, because it's all over the place. Yeah. It's not a bad movie. But I feel like we need to go to the ratings phase. Oh, sorry. R, A, T, I, N, G, ratings, Kare leaders, thanks. Do you say Kier leaders?

Cure leaders? Male campers. Why did they do that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th they they they they th they they they th th th th they tho tho they they they they tho th tho tho. they tho. th Do you say Kierleaders? Mail kimps. Why did they do that to that woman? I think it's so shitty. Male chimp? Come on. I'm expecting to be like, what are you foreign? So all cheerleaders die.

All cheerleaders die. Yeah. You want to go first? Sure. Okay. I'm going to give you my number and then my explanation. Fine. I would give this a six. Okay.

Yeah, I would say it's better than average. Not great. And that's kind of how I feel about most lucky McKee movies that I've seen. that's a movie. that's've seen like, they're like, eh, that's a movie, right? You did that? It started and then it ended. But it's like, I mean, you know, Missy watched the entire thing with me.

What did she think of it? I think she was like, this is really dumb. I'm gonna keep watching this. And that's kind of out of it. Yeah. And it's interesting to see, you know, pretty much all female, like, all the protagonists are female in this movie. And they're pretty awful at the same time, like, you know, they're murdering and all that stuff. So like... They're undead though. I wouldn't see like the backstory to Larry to just find out he was the fucking worse.

He's just like running like a fucking hostile ring. I like the back story of Larry that he like just decided to take a mental health day from work. This is what happens in his day off? I'm finally gonna finish the wire. . . . Poor Larry. No one should die not knowing how the wire ended. I haven't seen it. Don't tell me about it.

What? I know I'm saving it, but I don't know what I'm saving? I don't know. I don't know. How many seasons is it? Five. Oh, it's so many. It's so good.

I've watched it twice. So, the to the to, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, I, I, I, I, to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to. to. to. to. to. to.. to.................. to. to. to. to. to. But it's TV war and piece, which it seems like it should be easier. So yeah, a six, it's just bonkers. I had no idea what to expect. It's like the trailer just makes it look like kind of a shitty teen movie. And you know, like it kind of is every teen movie, like, with enough others sprinkled into it. Like the is so ridiculous it's like the craft was pretty good but what if it got fucking insane yeah without any suspense what if this is the craft without suspense with and no bug snake fights yeah yeah yeah no bug snake

fights yeah so what did you think I think I like I said I feel very torn that I loved this movie the first time I saw it because I watched it with like a group group like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like a group a group a group a group a group a group a group. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this this th. th. this th. th. this th. th. this th. this th. th. th. th. th. this is a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. feel very torn that I loved this movie the first time I saw it, because I watched it with like a group of lady friends and we were like, this is amazing, or at least I was, I think they were too, I think they were. And then watching it by myself, I was like, this is fine. But then talking about it again, I'm really psyched up, I'm that it was a largely female cast. Even though there are a lot of like lingering body shots and they are hanging on bikinis and stuff, I don't feel like it exploited them.

I don't think it was exploitative of the main characters. And I thought that like lesbian stuff was treated like very normally. Like it wasn't like, uh, I wasn't real into the amount of times they say bitches and dikes, but I feel like that's just the vernacular of kids, yeah. The vernacular of kids next on NPR. No, you know what? I really enjoyed it. Yeah.

It's very silly, but not silly in the way that it doesn't make sense. It's just silly and that you're like, how could that possibly happen? And mercifully short. And mercifully short. Um, seven. Nice. Yeah. I enjoyed it. Yeah, it's a lot of the, like you said, it's a lot of teen movies mashed together. I think a lot of that's a very tongue in cheat. Yeah, it's a today. the dog costume strutting down the hallway with the cheer. It's the cheer. The cheer. The cheer. It's the the their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's thii. It's thii. It's thi. It's. It's thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thii thiiiiiiiiii. thiiiii. thiii. thii. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the. the. the. tongue-in-cheek. Yeah. Just like the dog costume strutting down the hallway with the cheerleaders. It's worth it for that scene. Yeah, it's a really good. That scene? Nine.

Yeah. That scene is just like, you fucking owned it, you nailed it on that. Yeah. Yeah, that's fair. What? That we get a box in the mail. Cryptocurium. Jason was kind enough to send us a cryptocurium parcel of terror. We're going to unbox this shit. Parcel of terror is a subscription box where you give Jason $35 a month and he gives you awesome, awesome stuff. He gives you happiness. Like let's be, let's get down to it. He makes you happy. Horror happiness. This is an opening.

Oh. There it is. There's that pumpkin guy with the wings. All right, there's that black, right paper that you like so much. I'm going to toubts. All right, let me get the letter so I can tell you what's in it. All right. You're going to find the thing about the Jack Lantern stamp being black or red, and if it's red, you win like, you have like the, it's like Lucky Tray Day in the cafeteria. What is Lucky Tray Day?

You didn't have Lucky Trade Day? It's when they would, you would be like a sticker on the bottom of your try. No, and then you would like win like a little prize. No, sorry about the highlight was a, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, it. the, it. It. It. It. It. It. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it. It's, it, it's like, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it. It's like, it. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's, it. It. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it. It right. This month's parcel of terror includes the Queen Alien Wall Plaque. Look man, I only need to know one thing where they are. This egg-laying xenomorph matriarch encountered at the end of the epic 1986 film aliens is cast in solid resin and individually hand-painted comes ready to hang with attached metal latch. E! Oh it's really metallic blue. The teeth are good. Let me see the teeth.

Oh my god, the teeth are so good. They're tiny too. Imagine painting them. Invisible Man Sticker, a high quality pearl finished dye cut sticker of the Invisible Man from the classic universal film produced from original artwork printed by two gross. That's great. Yeah, I fucking love this movie. That is spectacular. Yeah, it's awesome. Well done. It's so heavy and good. Let me touch that.

Yeah, look at that. That's nice. Thickness. That is thick, thicker. Get down with the thickness. Candyman. Be my victim. Oh!

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That's one of my favorite episodes. Oh yeah, it's amazing. Printed on high quality yellow card stock, individually signed and numbered. Oh, I love it. He's so th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiol-iol-i. thiol-i, th. th. th. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thii. thii. thi. thi. thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, I love it. He's so gross. You can hang that out in your home and stare at it all the time. OK, thank you. Dips. Fly telepod pin, be afraid. Be very afraid.

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Thanks for all your reviews. I sat down and read them the other day. Oh my god, so sweet, right? Some of them are really sweet. I really like the one where someone said sometimes I'm an Allen and sometimes I'm a Katie. Isn't that the truth? I think the same thing about myself. Yeah, thank you guys. Thank you, that that th. J th. J th. J. J. J. J. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. that. that. that. tha. tha. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to guys. Thank you, Jason.

Thanks, everybody. God, yeah. Jason for sponsoring, you guys for leaving only five-star reviews, and signing up for what, let's just say a year's worth of crypto curing. Yeah, just do a year. It's the beginning of a new year. We're still in February. Yeah, kids.

You don't have kids. sign up for this, even if you do, your kids will love it! Your kids will love this. You can terrify them. Tony Todd can be staring at them. Be my victim. Okay, maybe not for kids. Eat my cheese stick. It's full of bees. So what are we doing next week? And next week, we are going to tackle our first Luchio Fulchie movie. A lot of requests for these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. toes. toes. toe. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. I I I I I is is. I I is. I I is. I is. I I is. I is. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. t. t. t. together. together. together. together. together. together. today. today. toe. toe. toe. toe. Yeah, they're bonkers. I think people think I'm going to hate them. I am very interested. I have chosen the Beyond to start our Fultie

Adventure with, which is, in my opinion, his best movie, his most articulated film, and it is still bat shit crazy. So we're going to do the Beyond. It's on, it's on Hulu, it's on Amazon, it's on YouTube. I still don't want to rent movies on YouTube. That seems so weird to me. No, because it seems like you should be, it should be free if you're watching on YouTube. I also just assume that it's poor quality,

because everything that'sthough. It makes me feel important. The spyware? Someone's just like checking up on me. We've found the one person American that's not bum that the S&SA is looking at their email accounts. What are they gonna find out about me? What are they gonna know? I don't know? Nothing. So like I'm complaining and then I'm talking about movies. Oh she's gonna be recording the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi going going going going going going thi going thi going thi going thi going thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho. thi thi thi thin' thin' thi. I thi. I's thi. I's gonna thi th. I's gonna th. I'm they're gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna the the their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to be to be to be to be th. to be th. to be to be th. th. th. the. th. th. thi. th. thi. I's th. I's the then I'm talking about movies. Oh, she's going to be recording that podcast again this week. Oh, she just farted at her desk and tights and then rolled up her back. That's a tights fart. And she's tell told her, she's selling her friend Christina. Hi, Christina.

theyrella. Sweet. Yeah, roll right're tight. You're going to hold it on. Roll right up your back and you're like, oh, God, it touched me. Hi, NSA. The NSA's just deleting. Delete.

Oh, no, I get it out of my head. So we're going to tackle our first Fulchie movie, and I'm interested to see what happens with that. Yeah, it'd be good. So watch it, catch up with us. Watch Fulchie, listen next week. What's the movie called again? The Beyond. What year is it? Like, oh, 19 something?

It came out in a 1983. All right. All right. As we know, we're back, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, the, the, the, th, the, th, the, th, th, the, the, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. to. the. to. the. the. the. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. the, what, what, what, what, the back into my wheelhouse now. I figured we should just put our feed back in there. We spent a lot of time in the 2000s recently. Yeah. For better or for us. To its credit? Um, this was good.

13 ghosts was fantastic. Yeah. 13 ghosts was fantastic. What if it was? What if people didn't listen to that episode? they were like, these people th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. the. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to.that episode and they just listened to this and they were like, these people have lost all their credibility? I mean, they were just talking about tiats farts, but this is different. Find us on the internet, leave reviews, keep talking to us on the internet, you guys are amazing. And we'll talk to you next week. I think we will. Thanks for listening to another episode of WhereWaffe Ambulance. Bye. Bye.