Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 72- The Beyond (1981)

Episode Date: March 7, 2016

Man oh man, what a movie we have for you this week: we're discussing the completely bananas Lucio Fulci 1981 film "The Beyond." Special topics of conversation include: an awful lot of eye trauma, Nana's favorite ethnic joke, Joe the Plumber and his political aspirations, death by spider, the possibility of watching this movie on mute and terrible, terrible guide dogs.  Have you seen this one? What did you think about it? Do you have the answers to any of the "why??" questions we posed in this episode? Let us know at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance.  While you're on the internet, you should head over to cryptocurium.com to sign up to receive their monthly subscription box called The Parcel of Terror. You're going to love it.  Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, Lutio Fulc. It's not good, it wasn't good. Luchio Fulc. Hey, it's a nice, it's a nice to make a movie, said it in Louisiana. Oh, godda! I love him so much, yeah. It's a nice, it's a nice to make a movie, said it in Louisiana. Oh, God da dar. Is that good? Is that good? Is that good?

Hey. Hi. Hi. Hey. Hey. Welcome to Earl Fambulance. We're going to make a lot of ethnic jokes probably. Sorry, Nanna.

Hi Nanna. Hello Sorry Nanna. Hi Nanna. Hello Nanna. Sorry in advance. She thinks it's funny. You know what one of Nanna's favorite jokes is? Can I tell you what Nanna's favorite? Did you hear about the Italian helicopters? I have heard about the Italian helicopters? If you don't want to finish this I have heard about it. I'll just leave it there. You guys can Google it probably. Go to Nata Jokes.com. She likes that one it's fine. I'm Alan. I'm Katie. Yeah you guys probably know that by now. Yeah this is episode 72. Oh my god what are we doing with our lives? Every time we bring up the page count of this show.

I just think about 72 weeks gone by, you know. We're older and wiser. I'm older. I feel dumber, I have to be honest. And for that you could thank Lucia Fulcci. La-Dia-Doh-da! That's pretty good. Thank you.

I could have whistled it, but I didn't know if thou that would work with the microphone. I got a little bit of a cold, I'm sorry. This is two straight minutes of sorry, of me being sorry. If you guys haven't seen the beyond, which is the movie we're doing this week, we are going to spoil the shit out of is the movie we're doing this week, we are going to spoil the shit out of this movie. And because it is Nutbar and we have to talk about the Nutbar. Yeah, and it's on Amazon.

It's actually a seven-day rental so you can enjoy it for literally a week of nutbar. I have the Grindhouse releasing version of the DVD and it's great. I love the DVD and it's great I love it. Yeah. I love the DVD. Yeah. This movie takes place in Louisiana of all places. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The swamps of Louisiana run wild with I don't know coyotes and werewolves. One thing about the faulty movies he always has inappropriate animal sounds. Okay. There's a movie called Gates of Hell aka City of the Living Dead. This is not, this movie is not called, no, no, it could have been. And it is part of the Gates, his like, uh, Portal to Hell Trilogy.

And in that movie, they're in, oh, I don't know, Dunwich, Massachusetts. And there's monkey noises, just monkey noises, just where they live. That's where they live. No. It, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th, it, th, th, it, th, th, it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th- th, th, it, th- th- th- th- th, th, th, th, th, th, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it could, it, it could th, it could th, it could th, it could th, it could th, thi, thi, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, it could. And there's monkey noises, just at one point, just monkey noises. That's where they live. That's where they live. Monkey noises. Oh God. I love it. I love it so much.

A lot of the sound effects in this movie, like the storm? Why is it raining only indoors? Why is the beginning this sort of flashback scene which isn't sepia because it's old in time. Yeah because it's old. It's old the first note I have we start out from Louisiana in 1927 you know what's old because it's sepia. I'm glad you take such detailed notes because mine just old in times Cepia which is good. And there's this very dramatic like lightning and thunder. It's just rattling this house and then it cuts outside and there are these villagers coming. Drys bone. Yeah. Silent. What? Like, okay. All right.

Because the storm is raging inside of the house. Well, I wondered about that, but I don't think that was intentional. I think it just wasn't raining that day and they were like, well fuck it. One thing th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that, that, th. th. th. thi thi their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they. they. they. their their their th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thri. thri. thri. thri. thri. thri. theeeeeeeauuui. thri. thi. thi. thi. thi. they were like, well fuck it. One thing I want to say about Fulchie movies after mentioning the ridiculous animal noises is that they're always shot super well. They always look really good. Like, you know, I feel like when people make fun of B movies that don't make any sense, like, they'll have like the boom mic coming in and it'll be shot really,

and these are like exquisitely shot and don't make a lick a goddamn sense. Well you know you had sort of hyped me up for this being bananas and not make any sense I feel like of the movies we've watched that we've projected is not making any sense this makes more sense than some of the others yeah there's not like there's not a line of meaningful dialogue in this movie. You can watch it with the sound off. I actually thought about it at one point, because it's a little distracting, you know, the overdubbing of the actors. And then I thought like if I was watching this on mute, I would be having literally the

same experience. Oh yeah, except for the score, which is fucking bananas. Ah, Fabio Frizy. It is a fabulous. It is a fabulous. It is a fabulous. It is a fabulous. It is a fabulous. It is a fib, it. It is a fi. It is a fi. It is a fi. It wa. It wa. It wa. It wa. It wa. It wa. It wa. It wa. It's. It wa. It wa. th. th, it is a fi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. the thi. thi. thi. I is f. I is f. I is f. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is a f. It's. It's. It's. It's a f. It's a f like Miami Vice and like almost upbeat nostalgic, like a person like looking at their wedding photos 50 years later and their spouses died but they have these warm memories. That's what the scores sounded like to me. I really like his scores. They're sort of like a low budget goblin. It's just like I don't care, do whatever. It's fine, it's fine. I just need music here. Yeah, oh is this music? This

is great. Plug it in. That's another thing, like, we're gonna get to the movie in a second, but I'm just gonna keep harping on Fulchy is the librarian who like like comes in he's like I gotta go to one. Oh the guy's checking his watching being annoyed oh weird. Watch him when he's like he's like he doesn't speak a a lick of English but when he's supposed to be speaking English he's just like m like mcum mn't you just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just the the the the the the th th the th th th th th th th just just just the th th th th th th th th th th th th the just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just the the the the the the And it's like, it's like, good enough. Anyway, so... I like that the expectation was that everybody else does it but him. You know what I mean?

Everybody else has to pull it off, but he doesn't have to, because he's the director. But most of them aren't pulling it off too well. Other than the people who actually speak English as a first language, but like Arthur, I don't know what the fuck Arthur, how you would you you you you you you you you the the the the the th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, that, thi, I that, that, that, that, that, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th.. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi, thi, would describe him had no purpose in this movie except to die I guess but he doesn't even die you don't even see him die do you no no you don't you just see him as a zombie yeah whatever so just to give a quick summation of this film go please do well we start off with the aforementioned the aforementioned sepia murder of the ungodly warlock when the... Kevin Bacon. He looks just like Kevin Bacon. He looks like Kevin Bacon was a snake. Yeah. Yeah. They throw nacho cheese all over him which is very upsetting. What the fuck was that? I don't know. Is it supposed to be hot plaster? What are you doing? So they murder him by crucifying him in the basement and throwing hot marshmallow fluff on him? I don't know what's going on? Was it in the the to be the to be to be the to be the to be to be the to be to be to be? It's the the to be. It's. It's to be. It's their. It's their. It's s. It's s. It's s. It's s. It's s. It's their s. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. He's like. He's like. He's like. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the basement and throwing hot marshmallow fluff on him.

I don't know what's going on. Was it in the basement? Because later it's in one of the rooms. Okay, all right. Yeah, it's in the basement. Because when Joe the plumber, I thought, because when Joe the plumber, I was like, and then I remember that was like the American stereotype. Yeah, yeah, John McCain. Starrhay and yeah.

Oh, so is it John McCain? I've lost track of all of them. They're all the same. Yeah, he eventually. Yeah, he eventually. USA. USA, I'm sorry. He ran for office at some point. Yeah, I called him Italian Bob Vila. Maybe Bob Vila is Italian.

Italianer? Yeah. He's great. I love Joe the Flover. Liza then later we find out she inherits this hotel from whom? Dead uncle. Always a dead uncle. Also, like, there's no context for what the dead uncle had been doing with this hotel for the last 60 years.

Not running it. No. It was the ungodly warlock, the dead uncle? Weird time to inherit it because she wouldn't have been born. Yeah, it's so, again, from the jump, this is not making any linear sense out. I'm embarrassed at saying that it did, so let's move on. I don't even throw this film into like a Susperia dream logic. Like I just go, oh no, this is just not bars. This is like a tone poem. This is not like... I mean, the general idea is that there is a portal to hell in this hotel, and when it opens, though I'm not sure how it opens or whether we ever see it open th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi. thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's th. I's th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's not th. It's not thi. It's not thi. It's not thi. It's not thi. It's not thi. It's not thi. It's not thi. It's not thi. thi. thi. It when it opens, though I'm not sure how it opens,

or whether we ever see it open, or whether just saying that it's there while you're in the hotel opens it, I don't know. From reading about it, they opened it when they killed the ungodly warlock. So it remained open, the the house. So it's just they? Just like playing backgammon? Like what were they doing? I don't know. Because the dead, it says that when the gates are open the dead, or maybe I'm not

the earth. No, no, maybe it was when Joe like broke down the wall and went in. Oh, well that I'll accept. Yeah, that seems reasonable. And open it up. Because when he was breaking down that the toe. I was like, is this part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. the. the. the. the. they. they. they. they. they. they. the the the the they. they. they. the they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the. theat. teat. teat. teat. theat. theat. the theat. the th. the the the the to like fix a leak in your toilet and you came in, they just torn down your bathroom. Imagine if you had a basement that was just in three feet of water at all time, so much so that people had just laid down planking to walk around into three feet of water. Yeah. And then they find a body in there the ungodly warlock. No. The guy with Nacho Cheese Oliver's, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Obviously. I think I didn't realize it was him because later he's up in the room 36. He's moving around the house. He's cruising and cruising. I don't think that's real. These are the great special effects of Gianetto de Rossi. I like that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th the the th th the the the thu thu the thu thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. tho thus. thus. thus. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. tho. Oh. tho. tho. tho. tho. thu. thu. thu. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. I was. thu. thi. thi. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. that thea. thea. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooetto de Rossi. I like that. This movie is distressingly gory. To be honest with you, I watched the first half in one night and then the second half on

a second night because I was just very distressed. I was like, I'm gonna watch Caddy Shack instead. I need to calm down. I was wondering if it was going to be too much. And then I was like, I don't think tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi, I don't thi, I don't the thi, I'm the thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I was thi, I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. theea' thea' thea' thea' thi thi thi. thi. thea' thi. thi. thi. thi. And then I was like, I don't know how Katie feels about ocular damage. I don't really mind it. Okay. But I know people really do and this movie's just like, fuck your eyes, fuck your eyes. Fuck your eyes. Fuck your eyes. Fuck your eyes. Fuck your eyes. Fuck the fuck up. Fuck your eyes. Fuck your eyes. Fucoo the fuck up in this. So Joe the plumber knocks on a wall, starts climbing around, and a hand just shoots out of the mud. Yeah. Shutes out of the mud wall that he finds and just puts a finger in his eye and pushes it

the fuck out of his head, like. It's so good. So Joe's dead now. Joe's dead. They take him to the morgue, I guess, where they stitch him up with shoelaces. Future morgue? In Italy, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the th, th. A, th. A, the, the, the, the, they.e, they, the thooooooo, the the the, the the the the the th. He, the, they take him to the morgue I guess where they stitch them up with shoelaces. Future morgue? In Italy, I haven't know this is in Italy they stitch you up with shoelaces, wait I mean Louisiana. And then this woman comes and dresses him? Is that his wife? It's his wife? Why does she have to do that? That is not her job? She does it really well though. You think he would be very stiff. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. that, I th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. In th. I th. In th. I th. In th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I the. I the. I cuts the clothes, she pulls the scissors out and like cuts the clothes down the back

so she can drape them. That's what you fucking pay the funeral people for. I agree, I think it's very weird that she did that. And just in there with all those other bodies. Okay. Bodies in plastic bags. Yeah. There. It's every time I'm like, who the fuck puts hydroclark acid on the top shelf? Why would you like, why would it not be stoppered or something?

His poor daughter has to watch his wife's face melt. Why are her, does she, okay, well I guess we'll get to that, never mind. No, we can go, we're just going. So that, well, no, because I'm more wise before we get there. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. tip. too. tip. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. the the the the the the the the the we'll get to that, never mind. No, we can go, we're just going. So that, well, no, because I'm more wise before we get there. Okay. So the next scene is his funeral, or I guess maybe their joint funeral, which is super sad. Yeah. And Liza is just holding this girl. You do not know her. No relationship. Joe was my plumber. And I just met him the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day the day. the day. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the the the the the the to. the the to. the the to. the to. the the to. to. to. that. that. that. that. the day he died, where he died working on my property. Come here, Jill. I don't know.

Yeah. Catherine McCall, or Katrina McCall. Or Katrina McCall. Sorry, Katrina McCall. And she had met Emily prior to this, right? And she had met Emily prior to this, right? Emily, she meets on the highway. Which she may not have had to stop had she not been driving in the center of both lanes. It's such a cool shot though I have this this reoccurring nightmare about driving down a back road and

coming up around a bend and somebody just be standing in the middle of the road and like and it's just kind of a thing of like do I just plow them down? The probably just plow the option. And it's just, and it's just, and it's just, and it's just, and it's just, and it's just, and it's just, and it's just, and it's just, and it's just, and it's just, and it's just, and it's just, and it's just, and it's just, and it's just, and it's just, and it's just, and it's just, and it's just kind, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, th is th is just, th is just, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi This is frog. I don't think you should ever just plow him down. She's ever the option. Yeah, she just, Emily is in the middle of the road with her dog. And Emily knows her. And she doesn't seem to question that too much. Not too. She's like, how do you know me? I know everyone. Cool, cool, cool. How did you know that it was me getting out of this car that you were standing in the... Yeah, because you have weird like baked sand eyes. Yeah. She's blind. Got that cool dog that's supposed to be a helper dog that is constantly trying to walk away from her.

Yeah, that dog is just like, was not trained for this at all. Nope. Oh no. Is it dragging her into walls? dog. I have to mention real quick that I love the southern accent in this like. Were there southern accents? There's the the painters? Oh yeah. She's like how much long you guys think of your well we should buy hair another day or so? Then he just goes by by. And then it gets spooked by Emily being in the house. What? I don't know. Also she comes back to the house and Emily's there and I was like, she you just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just the the the the the the the the the they. I they. I they. I they. I the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. I. I. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. I. I.'t know. What? I don't know. Also, she comes back to the house and Emily's there and I was like, have you just left her there for days?

Like, what? I don't, I don't understand Emily at all. Well, Emily is revealed later. Sort of. Yeah. Well, David Warbuck, Dr. McCabe, when? He's kind of a two-face to get my Seinfeld reference in, like handsome at some points and other points, you're like, ugh. He was the actor whose name, I just said a second ago, David Warbeck, he was up to be James

Bond at one point. Whoa, how mighty have fallen. Because Roger Moore was like in contract negotiations and they thought he was going to walk and they were like, dude, you're doing it if he walks, you're the new James Bond. And he's like, cool, cool, cool, I'll wait, I'll wait. I'll wait. Oh, you guys got Timothy Dalton? Cool. And it's like, yeah, he was super bummed about it.

But he's like the weirdest, most rugged doctor ever, like, very stupid like I don't know if he is a terrible shot or just very not good at like putting causation together I don't know I don't know his gun has limitless bullets though which is nice until it doesn't and he throws it on the floor anyway wait we're way ahead so she's explaining Dr. McCabe, to Dr. McCabe, how she met Emily, and he's like, oh she lives in that house, no one's lived in that house for years. And I never knew Emily lived in a house. I didn't know where Emily lived. Did she say that? She lived in the house? But I didn't know that, that the house. that she lived in the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the is the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they went back to Emily's house. Oh, I thought that was the hotel.

No, no, that was Emily's house. Maybe all the sets shouldn't look the same. Maybe. Maybe. Everything was draped in Spanish mosques, though. It's very Louisiana. Yeah. And that's kind of like, well, is thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's. that's. the. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that. theat. theat. theat. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. tea. tea. tea. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. And like, I like how she's like, now I have to tell you everything. Like, yes, please, tell us everything.

And then I feel that she doesn't. Nothing. And basically, Liza's like, I'm from New York. New York is lousy with ghosts. I don't care. Like, what are you saying? I can't believe I said this and made sense. What are they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th that th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that that thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that you notice the sign in the hospital that said do not entry? No.

I really like that. Yeah, that's good. Again, that, uh, yeah, fuck it. I feel like Fulte makes movies like I'd make movies. We're just like, good enough. Yeah, we got it. We have like a week to do this. Yeah, pounded out. Why were there all those slow-mo shots of Emily running out the door in that scene? Some with the dog, some without.

No idea. I was trying to figure out what that meant. I've seen this movie so many times and I've, like last night I was watching and going, why did she run out the door so many fucking times? Why does she? And the dog's, the dog's, the dog is, toy's, toy's, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to to, to, to, to, to, to to, the, the, the, the the try, try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try and, to to to to to to to well Emily's do we mention that she's in the very opening scene? Yeah yeah she's in the hotel in the very opening scene. Yeah that's right. Yeah. Reading a book and she has a book that is of importance. But the book of Abonne. Yeah. She has the it's actually from Lovecraftian fake book but she has the, she has normal eyes at that point. So the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book the book. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's. I. I. the that's. I. I's. I's. I's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's. I. It's. It's. It's. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. I'm. It's. It's. I'm. the. I'm. the. the. It's. It's. Yeah. So I guess she saw some shit when they killed that ungodly warlock. So why does that happen to Jill, the little girl, at her parents funeral? Fuck if I know. Fine, good.

She's a completely useless character. She need not exist. Except that she has the best death in this movie. Pretty des. A lot ofthis movie. Pretty Dece. Uh, questionable. Okay. A lot of good deaths. A lot of good deaths. High body count, I thought you'd be into that. Yeah, a lot of gross. Lots and lots of gross. So there's like a ringing that keeps happening and then the number 36 pops up?

Yeah. And I didn't know so that it like shows you which room is buzzing you so that you can go upstairs and be like, oh, would you like fresh towels? Oh, okay. Well fine then. But why would I know that? No, it's fine. The room is number 36. Right. And Liza goes in there, breaks into it with like a hatchet? After Emily tells her not to. Okay. That's important. Because in the beginning it's very prominently. thly thomomomomomomom th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus thus the thus thus thus the the thus thus the the room thus the room the room the room the room the room thus thus thus thus thus thus thus the room the room the room the room the room the room the room the room the room the room the room the room the room the room the room the room the room. the room. the room. the room. the room. the room. the room. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thus. thus. thus. thus. to to thus. to to thus. to. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. th. thus. th. th. th. th. th. to. Okay. That's important. Okay. Because in the beginning it's very prominently displayed that the ungodly warlock is in room 36 when they come for him. Yeah, they do take him down to the basement. Yeah. Dom. Shwike is his name. Shwike. I see. I've never heard that name before in my life. Maybe I did watch this movie on mute. I could have. She finds him all nacho-chased up like crucified to the wall in room 36 freaks out and then comes back with the doctor and he's

gone. But there are the two nails for some the wall. And he goes oh these look old? Oh do they look old? Do they doc? I'm a doctor of nail agent. Yeah. But they do come back at some point. Yeah, totally gross. Can we just get through the gross death real quick and we just talk about them? Yeah, please. They totally slam Martha's head into that, uh, bad guy totally seems Martha's head in there.

She's coming to clean the disgusting bathtub. Okay, I take I take I th. I th th th. I th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. they're thi. they tho. they're they they're they're they're just just just just just just tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. they're they're they're they're they're tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. the. the. the. the. tote. tote. tote. tote. tote. tote. tote. tote. tote. tote. they tote. tho. th here I take issue here because Liza was like oh Martha and Arthur are more trouble than they're worth. Martha was willing to roll up her sleeve and put it her arm in that fucking tub how dare you Liza how dare you? Did you have you watched the Louis CK TV show? I've seen a a couple episodes. Have you seen the one where the kid diarrhea is the bathtub? No. It looks like that bathtub. Oh god! Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that th. tho the the the that thi thi the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi theeeeeeat thi. thi. theeat thi. thi. thi thi thi where the kid diarrhea is the bathtub? No. It looks like that bathtub. Oh God. Yeah, so she goes to clean it and she's like reaching around and she finds something and then

Joe the plumber raises up out of the tub even though he shouldn't be in the house. No, he's definitely been buried. But he grabs her by the face, much like he was grabbed by the face and slams her head against the wall, popping a nail out of her eye from behind. Yeah, it was pretty good. Yeah, pretty gross. Makes me real happy. I laughed a lot when that happened. Yeah.

And then I questioned whether or not I'm a decent human being. What did you come up with? What do you come up with? Jerry's still loud. Martin, I think his name was, who was like the architect or the, I don't know, I actually have no idea what role he served. He doesn't have the best death, but he has my favorite death. I liked it a lot, I think it was upsetting. Death by Tarantula? Like where is Daniel Stern with a crowbar when you need him, you know? Also that actor, I guess was just letting those spiders crawl over him? I'd be like, how about fucking know, Lucio? How about no? I love that when the, so Martin goes to the library with Lucio Fulcia is the librarian, and

he gets the book that has the blueprints to the house and in. And he looks at the blueprints and goes, ho? What? What? He says, ho the blueprint. They keep showing us the blueprint, too, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, ho-wo. And then, I think- They keep showing us the blueprint, too, like, I'm gonna fucking read it and know what I'm looking at. I think the blueprints were much bigger than the house actually was. Okay. Then a nutbar things happen with the blueprints. Well, why, what sense does that make?

Because why would the Blueprints and Ghostbusters. That's true. Yeah. Well, that solves that. Martin, looking at the Blueprints, gets knocked off by some unseen power, and then a, I don't know, armada of tarantulas come at him, and there's like two or three living tarantulas, and then tarantulas, and there's always like, like, fakes like on a stringederantulas that are like bouncing towards him and I didn't notice that I was so so genuinely creeped out by the image of the tarantulas coming at him and I was like there's one scene where like on his face there's one of the fake

tranchulas and then one of the real ones is like crawling around it it's like it's like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tree I was tree I was the treel an treel an treel an treel an tranch. tranch. I was tranchall. I was t. I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was t. I was like I was like I was like I was like I I was like th is like th is like th is like th is like th is like th is like the th is like the the the the the the the the tree I tree I was like tree I tree tree tree tree tree tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. tttttrann trance. tree. I was just just. I was just. I was just. I was like.'s so weird. So they basically pull his face apart. Pull his tongue out of his mouth. They rip it up and pull it out and they get in, they get in his eye too. I think there's some eye stuff there maybe. They, the middle part of his, his septum, they eat his septum. And I think he's alive while this happens. He's paralyzed. there and his eyes are darting back and forth. Yeah, they definitely rip his eyeball up because Fulchie. Yeah. There's a mysterious lightning in that

scene too for no fucking reason. There's Joe's death in the beginning where when he gets killed he just starts throwing up his guts. Yeah, I was wondering if Lutio Fulchie doesn't quite understand what's inside us because something weird comes out of the out of Martin too just like like some like it looks the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to too. I their their too. too. too. There's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's is is is. There's is. There. There. there's is is. there's is is is. there. there. there. there. there. there's is is is is is is is is. there. there is is there is. the the the the the the the they. they. It is they. It's is they. It's they. I's they. I's th. I's just just just just just to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. I's the the the the the the the they. Martin to just like with some like it look like pee out of his mouth and I was like that's not where your pee comes from I don't know yeah just like bloody pee it looks like Joe is like had a bunch of like ketchup and pineapple that he's no vomiting yeah it was it's very effective in that it churns your stomach oh yeah it's also like oh yeah it's gross yeah yeah wurong yeah wo the te to the tmahs the the th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the te te te te te te te te te te te te te te te te te te the mm. While we're talking about Martin real quick, I want to talk about the blueprints. So they show you the blueprints after he's fallen.

And it's like, they're bigger than the house. And then part of the blueprint disappears and it's the size of the house. And then that part of the music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music. Very ominous. I don't understand what's happening. Why are you bump bumping? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and the spiders are slurping on him, too. They're like, yeah. It's a gross, it's a gross scene.

They don't have that kind of mouth. They don't have slurpy mouths. It goes on forever use them. Yeah, this cost everything they're worth. Fucking money. Then there's the scene with Emily and all the dead people in her house? Yeah. They're just hanging out, though. Yeah, well, again, Notchartizman is there. And she's kind of, she's told Liza about him, so he has to kill her now. Oh, well, like like like like like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. to. to. too, too, too, too. te. te. te. thean. thean. too. to. to. to. the. the, the name of the dog is revealed at this point

when she tells the dog to attack the zombies, she keeps yelling attack, attack, Dickie, attack, attack, attack. I wondered if like guide dogs are trained to attack on command like canine units? I don't think they are. I don't think so. And then I imagine like, because you often see golden retrievers, not cop dogs as guide? And I. And I. And I. And I? their. And I? their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. I don't think so. And then I imagine like, because you often see golden retrievers, not cop dogs, as guide dogs. And I imagine like a golden retriever just like viciously attacking somebody and I thought that was very funny to me. I do like the idea of a golden retriever named Dickie though. That sounds adorable.

That's very cute. I saw Corgy mistake though. We made them look that way. Did we do that? Yeah, we bred them to be shorter and shorter. Why? Just like pugs were they bred them for their noses to be more and more. Because people? This is damn cute, though.

It would be a great dickie. Yeah. So like, th, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. We. We. We, th. We. We. We. We. We. We. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, theyowering in the corner, blind, obviously, and she's like, don't, I won't go, I don't want to go, I don't want to go, I don't want to go. They're not coming at her. She's like, don't touch me. There's no one within 10 feet of her. I get it, she's blind. And then I was like, why, why the fuck isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't isn't the fuck isn't the fuck isn't the fuck isn't isn't the fuck isn't the fuck isn't the fuck isn't the fuck isn't the fuck isn't the fuck isn't the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho? tho? tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to to to to to to to tho tho tho tho tho tho tho disappear, then the dog rips her throat out. Yeah. Why? I've often wondered if that's a little nod to Suspirea,

where the seeing-eye dog rips the dude's throwout, Oh, probably. Do you think it's a nod? Or do you think he was like, good idea. I will do that too. I steal that from youria. A buffingo you, Dario. So, Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, another great death is the death of Jill that we alluded to earlier, where she has now started there. So all hell is broken loose. Literally there's a gate to hell open and the dead or walking the earth. This movie wasn't originally just going to be a haunted house movie. Okay. And the production company was like, uh uh uh uh, zombies are huge. Yeah, it was zombie. It was like a great year for zombies. And he had done zombie too, which was supposed to be the sequel to Dawn of the dead I think. It's a. Who invited him to do that? Oh, during the 80s, like Last Shark. Oh, right, right, right, right.

Where the Italians were just like, what, that's doing good? Yeah, we'll do that, we'll do that. Last shark was so good, though. I need to watch it again. Zombie is, oh, it's completely fucking ridiculous, like. So this? But like, there is a scene where a man, or a zombie fights a shark. Whoa. Underwater, and the zombie loses his arm

at least twice, the same arm. God bless you. Muccio, fulching. So the zombies are all over the earth, and all over this hospital that they're now hold up in, Dr. McCabe and Liza. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thee, thee, thee, thee, the, the, and, and, and, and, thi, thi, thee, thee, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, is is thi, thi, is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thoomomoomorrow, the thoomoomorrow, thoomoomorrow, thoomorrow, thoomorrow, thoomorrow, th hospital that they're now hold up in Dr. McCabe and Liza and Jill is with them. They've taken Jill with them. Does she not notice that Jill has Emily eyes? Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Okay also in this whole, this is a very long sequence of them. Fighting zombies and running from zombies. I don't know why they keep going back to the morg because maybe if because maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe the dead maybe the dead maybe the dead maybe the dead maybe the dead maybe the dead maybe the dead maybe the dead maybe the dead the dead the dead the dead the dead the dead the dead the dead the dead the dead the dead the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the dead because maybe the dead because maybe the dead because maybe the dead because maybe the dead the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the dead because maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe because See, we look, we have two sets, hallway morgue, hallway morgue.

But Liza is like, as useless as I would expect to be in this scenario. Do you know what I mean? She's very realistically useless. Just shuffling around. Just being like, ah, ah, ah. You know? Yeah. Then we meet Harris, the hospital employee, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, the th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, meet Harris, the hospital employee, who's on screen for like a minute and a half before he just takes a bunch of glass to the face and he's like, barely knew

you. Sorry about your Harris. Also who takes the elevator in a situation like this? Take the stairs, use your legs. Jill finally snaps and starts attacking them. Why, though? Because, Fulchie. Okay. I don't know, because she has obviously become possessed with the Gates of the Hill disease that everybody else has. But why does she have the same eyes as Emily? And why do they have them at the end? Okay.

Hell eyes? So... Okay. No, go on. He's just so disappointed at the end to have to have those eyes. He's just so distraught. So much emotion. Yeah. Yeah. He really nailed it. So just to to finish off Jill. And literally, she turns on them and he finally does a headshot after a 4,000 not headshots on zombies. I don't understand this. He has to be seeing shooting them in the gut does nothing and shooting them in the head

causes them to fall and he's just like I'm a doctor. But when the her head explosion is just oh it's so beautiful it It looks like someone has, oh I don't even, it's like a blood balloon made of latex. But just that that long slow-mo lingering shot on the empty vessel that was her head. It's pretty gross. There's a bobblehead of that out there somewhere. Of course there is. And so now Dr. McCave, and we're skipping a bunch of stuff, but it's okay. Are we? What are we skipping? There's something like, there's the scene in the cafe when they're in New Orleans proper. Oh, you mean when the hospital knows he's such a drunk that they know to call him at the bar in the middle of the day?

I love that the jazz band is behind them playing, but you can't really hear it and then he gets on the phone and like what that? That's pretty funny. What the fuck? So he has to be like what? Huh? What? And that was my impression of jazz? It was better than my beat boxing. I did like that somebody liked it on Facebook. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I just spit all over that microphone screen. Yeah I'll just It's your microphone screen. Yeah, I'll just wipe it off with my sleeve, then. McCave and Liza are running away, and they're running, they go down to the steps, and they run down the steps.

This is literally the only line of dialogue you need to hear in the movie. We're back in the hotel. They're back in the hotel, they're in the basement. So what they do, of course, instead of walking back up the steps. Just walk into the abyss. Walking in the basement. There's been a painting that we've been seeing repeatedly. That's not a very good painting. Yeah, I was gonna talk about the content of this painting.

Please do. I thought it was people like washing up on the Sort of. Cool. So it's this gray on gray painting of people laying down on this like charred ashy scape. And what's his face was painting it? The warlock? Yeah, the ungodly warlock. In room 36. Yeah, shwike. I don't like it. So they keep walking around the basement. There's a thunderstorm happening. They're getting blown around by it. So they keep walking around the basement, there's a thunderstorm happening, they're getting blown around by it, and then all of a sudden they're in the painting and there's like actual lot or like people laying around them. And I really like the scene because like they look at this like hellscape in one direction.

Oh God, so they turn around and it's the same fucking thing. It's literally the same shot. Yeah. Just the same image. But like that's a good idea of hell for me is just like you're just trapped in this one like locale and this one like you can't get away from it. So they take off running and then they run up to the camera and that's when it's revealed that they too have Friday. How would you get Emily. It looks like a green oatmeal has been smushed onto their eyeballs. It actually looks cool. I like it. I liked all the effects in this quite a bit, but he's doing just the best face. He's just like, oh, fuck me! Oh, why? And that's the end of the movie. Yeah.

There are a lot of things that I would like to mention, just very briefly. At certain points there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's someone just doing a voiceover which who and why he just says things like when the gates of hell are open the dead will walk the earth and I'm like who is saying this and who is hearing it is it just for our benefit is the unholy voice of exposition it just in it's it's incomprehensible I it's incomprehensible I love it when movies have voiceover for only part of the movie and then you're like well that's not working so just stop that. Or just like at the end of the movie where they're like well we did not explain this to you so

let's do it now and they didn't even really explain anything that I didn't already know from the cover of Amazon you know I know I know the answer is to be no but I'm going to ask the answer the answer the answer the answer the answer the answer the answer the answer the answer the answer the answer the answer the answer the answer the answer the answer to to to to the answer the answer to the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the answer is going the the to to the to the the the the the the the the the the to the to the to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theto ask this question anyway. Have you seen the Ralph Baxhie cartoon, Lord of the Rings? No, no. He was doing Lord of the Rings and he was going to do all three books, but he ran out of funding or got like the studio. It's animated. It's a, it's rotoscope, so it looks real creepy. And either the studio and he weren't getting along or you run out of money or something, and, and, and the, and the, and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho, thi, thi, the thi, the the thi, thi, the thi, thi, no, no, no, no, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. He was going thi, th. He was going thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, the like the end of basically the two towers rather than going all the way through to Turn the King and then there's just a shot of Gandalf and Aragorn and somebody else riding horses and it's just like oh yeah and then all this stuff happened and they wrap up the story in a voice over real at the end of the movie. Whoa! It's so good. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi thi's just thi's just thi's just just thi thi thin tho tho tho thin thin' thin' thin' thoing thoing thoing all thoing all thoing all th. thing all thing all thing all thin all thing all thing all thing all thing all thing all th and th and th and th and th. And th. And th. And th an th an th an th an th an th an th an thi. Wow, thi. Wow, thi. Wow, thi. Wow, thin thin thin the the the an the an the an the an the an thean. the an thean. the an the an the an the an the an thin the an the. Whoa. It's so good. Peter Jackson made that last like four hours. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess maybe that's what happened here. It's just... They couldn't figure out where to put the exposition elsewhere in the film. How about anywhere? How about tell me anything I need to know? No, we've got all this gripping dialogue that's happening. Honestly. Watch it on mute. You will miss the score though, which it's pretty not pretty good. There's a scene that I really like. It's just a quick shot from the outside of the hotel after I guess the portal has been opened.

I don't know when the portal is. It doesn't matter. But it's a shot from the outside and like something bad has just happened. Oh, it's after she runs out of the hotel. I know what you're going to talk about. And the lights come on in the the the the the the the the th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the. the. te. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. It's the the the hotel. I know what you're gonna talk about. And the lights come on in the rooms, and then you see the shadows of the people, which I loved, because it's very creepy, but it also feels like Saturday morning cartoon to me somehow, like the scary cartoon? Yeah, and I really liked it. It just felt, it was one of my favoritethink in that point I was like, I wish this had been a haunted house movie. Yeah, because the zombies really do feel like tacked in at some level. Because at the end, they're just like slow walking, neck,

they're always looking down. His zombies are always looking down. Why? Were they looking at it? Their feet. Because Joe isn't like think. Yeah, yeah. And they're all, they don't look like the zombies. One of them looks like Pee-We Herman, like they don't look like the bad guys from earlier in the movie. They just don't. No, no, they're very, yeah,

they're very different looking. I don't know, who cares? Because the earlier, whenever someone gets started into a zombie, they get a lot more face. Yeah. A very extensive face. Yeah. It's definitely. I want to mention the guy that ran the bookstore, when she thinks she sees the book of Abon in the bookstore, runs in. It's some other book and he's got a shitty Southern accent that's not done very well. That book's been there for two years. Didn't you think that guy was, I mean I know you've seen this a million times, but didn't

you think that guy was gonna be like a menace who comes back later? Sure. No, just a creep. Just a creeper. I thought he was gonna be anything. Yeah, he's nothing. He's just doing bookstore dickhead. Yeah. Maybe Fulchie hates dudes who work in bookstores. And libraries apparently too. Making a monkey face. I don't know. All right. Are we doing this?

I think so. Why don't you go ahead? Ratings phase? Yeah. All right. This movie makes me laugh so much on I watch it. It's so enjoyable to me. Like I just get giddy while I'm watching it.

Because it's so absurd. The thing I like about movies that don't necessarily work when someone is like, he set out to make a movie. He didn't set out to make a shitty movie. Yeah. And it's just like I really appreciate that like a lot of the like the mystery science theater movies that are like or like Ed Wood movies. I'll watch them because they were trying to do something. Yeah. And it's usually like if you can latch on to whatever that nugget is they're trying to do you can find something in there and like you know people call Manos Hands of Fate the worst movie ever made wholly enjoyable to watch even without like like commentary from mystery science theater even then there's only there's like seven minutes of them just yelling Debbie Debbie Debbie but it's fun and it's just like you know people are trying like and yeah I make a movie. He made the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th. th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. People th. th. th. People th. People th. th. People th. People th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the. people people people the. like, and Fulchie, I love because it's like,

I make a movie. He made a lot of movies, didn't he? So many movies, he made westerns and yeah, just so good. Maybe he should cut back. His westerns are fucking bonkers. I don't like a western to begin with. Oh no, but I can't imagine. Yeah, I don't really like horses. Oh, that's right. Or desert regions.

Oh, you're not going to like a Western at all now. No, there's just nothing for me. I don't like really rugged men. There's this movie you might like. It's more of like a future Western set in space. It's called Stars Wars. Is Star Wars a Western? A little bit? What is a Western? Wait, what do you mean? A little bit. What is a Western? I mean, it's got the

vibe. It's like got the sort of like the setup of a Western sort of, and it's like Firefly has the same sort of thing where it's like a Western set in space. I mean, that just sounds like hell to me. Exactly. That's why I brought it up. I've seen a Star War. I thought it was. I've seen a star war. I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s' the set the set the set the set the set the set the set the set the set the set the set the set the set the set the set the set the set the set the set. I've the set. I've the set. I've the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to get around to is just like, I think these are fun movies that I like like watching and like I totally know that they're garbage, but like in the best way possible. Yeah. I mean I love all like the quirky stuff and maybe it's a little bit because like you can kind of this movie. This is my movie. Sure. Like most people are going to their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi are going to watch this and go, this is stupid. And they're like, no, no, but you're not, people get their eyeballs pushed out. It's hilarious. Yeah.

Nine. Okay. I give it this movie a nine. All right. I love it. It's a try to Is that where the term spaghetti western comes from, like Italians making Western movies? Oh yeah, yeah, I never knew that. 100%. Yeah, that's so racist. Sergio Leone making, yeah, he was

like the start of the whole spaghetti western thing. Yep. That's, that's, that's way more ethnicist than anything we said in the sure. Yeah, yeah. We need to make to make to make to make to make like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like to make like to make like to make like to make like to make like the the to make like the the the the the the the the their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tom. tom. term. term. te. te. term. term. term. term. term. term. term. term. te. te. te. te. te. te. S. S. Sure. Yeah, yeah. We need to make like two good meatball jokes, and then we can wrap this up. Yeah, here's the thing that differentiates for me this movie from something like Sospiria. Sesperia is also bonkers. Right. But something about it, and I liked it OK if I recall.

I think it was fine but it's something that's like you wouldn't understand this is art and it's got its own logic and I do what I want because I'm a director artist whereas this is just like uh huh okay which I agree with you I like it it's I mean I don't know that I love it but it's it's almost like working-class filmmaking yeah yeah maybe that's what it is it looks like it like, it looks like, it doesn't look like, it looks great. I should, it looks absolutely great.

But it reads like someone read movie making for dummies and they were like, I've got it. You know, like, ah, yeah. I mean, I actually enjoyed this, though it did distress me enough to have to turn to Rodney Dangerfield for a little while. I'll give it an eight. Our Lord and Savior. Yeah, God rest us so. So you give it an eight? I will give it an eight. Yeah I enjoyed it. It's super bloody. It's super gross. It's funny. I totally expected you to hate this movie. I'm so bummed that you gave it. You know what all those all those EMTs those those those those those those those those EM those EM thes thes thes thes thes thes tho tho tho tho thoes thoes thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thi. I thi. I they. I their thus. I'm to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their their their their to give. I to give. I to give. I to to to to to to to too. I too. I too. I too. I too. I too. I too. too. I too. I to to to to to their their fingers poised over the keyboard ready be like, I don't know why you don't like this. Don't, just don't this week, because it was fine, okay? Do you know what else is fine, Katie?

What? Crypto Curio? Barcel of Terror. Lucchio Falchis, Fault of Terror. It's the spice to meet the ball. From our Italian friend, Jason McIgerick. So Jason does this thing called Parcel of Terror for his website. You can buy it through his website, Cryptocurium.com.

And the Parcelotter is a monthly subscription service where you pay $35 a month and you get a box in the mail every month of awesome horror stuff like slasher magnets the series is amazing for that stuff like you know you're Michael Myers you're your Sam from Trick or Treat your Jason Vorey's. You're Candy Man which brought Katie so much joy when it came out of the box. I'm actually looking at it from where I'm sitting right now and he's like, be my victim. Shut up, Tony Todd. There's art prints from other artists in there. I have the fluke man on my fridge right now.

It looks so good. I say I hate it. It's a great print, but the fluke man gives me the fucking creeper. He lives in the poop thoo th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, he lives in the pooper. He doesn't live in the pooper. He lives where your poop goes. In the pooper, reach on your butt hole. I think I have called it, refer to the toilet as the pooper. But I also refer to my baby niece as pooper, so it means whatever I want it to mean.

Hey pooper. Poopper is your smurf. say it is. I'm Lucio Fulcchi. This is an ad that someone paid us for. Jason knew what he was getting it to. If he didn't, then he does now. No, his stuff is incredible and he puts up what's going to be in the box each month before so you can see what's going to be in it. You can decide whether you want it or not. Yeah, you can get one month and cancel, but why would you do that? Why are you a dick? I really like the pictures that he posts of like all, like all of one thing, like all the magnets he's working on and there's a ton of them and just the fact that he hand paints them is insane

to me. If you go on our Instagram there is a photo that I reposted from that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I rea. that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. And it's totally awesome. It's insane. So cool. I would definitely say subscribe for a year? A year? Two? Two? Two. Jason, like how many years are you planning to do this?

Because that's how long you should subscribe for. Exactly. And get these awesome boxes in the mail. What's the website? Are you going to spell it? I can't. CRYPTOCURIUM.com. Thank you, Jason for sponsoring Wearwolf Ambulance. Thank you for making such cool shit. Yeah. Thank you for bringing it to the world. Yeah. It's really beautiful. We're thank him for that. I really like that. Yeah. Hey, what are we doing next week? Oh, we are leaving the 80s. Oh, are you going to be okay? Are you going to be to be the to be to be the to be the to be to be the to be the to be to be the to be the to be the to be the to be the to be the to be the the to be to be the the to be th. going here of the 80s, and we're entering the 2015. We're going to do a movie that's in theaters currently. It still should be in theaters by the time the episode comes out. If you missed the, you, you missed it. You did a terrible, you did a bad thing.

The witch. We saw it. Go see this movie, give it your money. I've given it my money twice. I saw you you you did did did did did a you you you you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ti you did you did you did you did you did you did you did you did you did you did you did you did you did you did you did you did you did you did you did you did you did you did you did you did a the t. You did a ti. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You did. You. You did. You. You did. You did. You did. You did. You did. You did. You did. You did. You did. You did. t. t. t. t. ti. ti. ti. ti. t. t. t. t. give it your money. I've already seen it twice. I've given it my money twice. I saw it once, but I drank a gallon of soda again. Oh, well, why do you do this to yourself? I don't know. It's so exciting. See the witch because we're going to try not to the witch though, like we can't not say, we're going to say now, because you're going to go see it. Yeah, go see the witch, come back next week, give us a listen. Yeah, you can be here for you.

We're always here for you. We're always here for you. You can also get in toub. I don't know what that is. I think it's a way you can send people money. Monster.com. Yeah. Yeah. Orchan? Whatever that is. We have a Reddit account that I was using for a while to promote us, but I just couldn't do it anymore. I literally can't understand Reddit when I go to it. You just have to get like, you have to spend a lot of time with it. Yeah, I'm not to to to to to to to to to to to their to to their to their to to to thi thi. I thi. I to thi. I'm thi. to thi. to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I to th. I th. I th. I t. try. to to to try. to to t. to t spend a lot of time with it. I'm not going to do that. I got books to read. Yeah. And I zombie to watch. Yeah.

Yeah. So is that it for this week? I think it has to be. Right? Oh, hey, if you like this episode or if you like any of our episodes, you should tell your friends. we're gonna grow. We want to grow. Leave us a review on iTunes. Grow baby, grow. Yeah. Drill baby drill. Is John McKean here? I just don't know. You got Joe Plover on the brain. I know. It's this election season. It's making me nuts already. So thanks a lot for listening to another episode of WearWulf Ambulance. Bye.

Bye.