Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 73- The Witch (2015)

Episode Date: March 14, 2016

Wouldst thou like to live deliciously? Well, now you can do it on a budget with the Arby's 5 for $5! There's no better deal in fast food. Seriously though, have you seen "The Witch" yet? If not, don't listen to this episode. Don't do it to yourself, because we super-spoil it. For those of you who have seen it, some special topics of consideration include: how humor is created (repeating a joke ad infinitum is probably the best way), starting a cult of Werewolf Ambulance, more beatboxing, people being confounded by both pop culture and the endless annoyances of having to see a movie in public with other humans, and SPOILERS, you guys, spoilers, we don't wanna hear about it, we warned you! Did you see "The Witch"? What did you think? Let us know on facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. Please also consider leaving us a rating/review on iTunes. It helps us grow and also touches us deeply when we read them. Seriously. Please also visit our sponsor Cryptocurium at cryptocurium.com to sign up for the Parcel of Terror. This upcoming month is a surprise month and that sounds pretty rad to us! Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Wouldst thou like to live deliciously? Wouldst thou like to live deliciously? I'll take that butter? You got that butter? Got that butter. I've been picking up my cats and making them look around corners to wherever my husband is. And just having them go, would's thou like to live deliciously? Which is funny to me but not him.

I don't know why. It's funny to him. He brought it up. Oh really? It's good. I'm glad I'm glad you told you about it. It's funny. It's funnier the more you do it too. So so. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, to, to, thi, to to to to to to to to to me, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th... thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. to to thi. to to thi. to to thi. to thi. to to to to to to to to to to thi, to to a day and the cat's just like, why are you fucking doing this to me? It's funny.

This is comedy. This is a comedy podcast. Hello. This is wherewolf Ambulance. Horror movie comedy podcast. I'm Alan. I'm Katie. And we're here for you guys.

What do you need us to do? What, yeah, how can we help? So this week we're here to talk about the 2015 but in theaters now, the witch or as assholes call it, the vivitch. Because it's got two Vs on the poster instead of a W. Oh, you typed that in an email to me today? And I was like, that's a very strange typo to make, and I just ignored it. I don't like visually. I don't mind it visually. I don't like calling it the vivid. Yeah, no, I don't either. It just makes me feel like you're being a wiener if you call it the vivitch.

Yeah. Guys call it the witch. It's called the witch. It's called the witch. It's called the witch. We're going to stop doing that. It's making, it's making, it's, it's just, it's the Stephen Kang of now. God, we like that we get a joke and we're just like, oh, let's kill that joke before anyone

can laugh at it. Get it before it gets away. I agree with you though that repetition is the beauty behind comedy. You just have to keep repeating a stupid thing over and over and it becomes funny. It's just building a base. It's building a foundation of like, of hilarity. How funny this is going to, like, because what's really going to happen is in a couple days, I'm going to wake my husband up

by holding a cat in his face and saying that two of it's going If you haven't seen this movie, go to your multiplex, your singleplex, your duplex, watch it. Yeah, see this movie. Give good horror money. Give horror movies in the theater money. I guess. I'm saying that and thinking about seeing Annabelle in the theater and how upset I was that I gave that movie.

There was a preview for the Conjuring 2. Oh, can we talk about the previews before this movie? Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure. Conjuring 2, go. Was this, is this with John Goodman? No, that's Cloverfield. Oh, that is Cloverfield. I never saw the first Clover field. But I'd like to watch it. I'd like opic, it's gonna be John Goodman. Yeah, that's a really good fit.

But it would have to be John Goodman for 30 years ago. They can do wonders of makeup these days, so. That looks okay. Yeah, yeah, ten Cloverfield late. Did you get that for a preview? Yeah. Oh, did you get? What the fuck?

. . Did you get, oh what the fuck, hardcore Henry? No. I've seen the trailer twice now before the witch both times. I'm calling it the stupidest movie I've ever seen. What's it about? It's a first-person shooter movie. No, why did it? Why did I want that?

You wake up and you are the dude, it's like a GoPro on some guy's head. I hate it. And the th it. And the th it. And the th you th i. And th i. And they they they they they they they's like th. And th is is just like th is just like th. th is just like th. th. th is just like thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. I'm like, th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I'm thi, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm. And they're just like, oh, you're a robot now. Go do this stuff. And then it's just fucking doom. It's terrible. It looks like assholes. And I feel like people younger than me are probably like, oh no, I totally understand that because I'm playing video games my entire life. And they probably don't get nauseated by that that GoPro shit like we do. No. I'm so queazy. I can't like like. Like like. Like like. Like like. Like like. Like like. Like like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like the bl. Like the bl. Like the bl. Like the bl. Like the bl. Like the bl. It's like the bl. It's like, like the bl. It's like the bl. It's like the bl. It's like the bl. It's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Like, like, like. Like, like, like. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the bl. the bl. the blu. the blu-a. the b. the blare. the b-a. the b-a. the b-a. the b-a. the b-a PEPAPS thing at the beginning of it. There was a the Purge election year trailer. Yeah I didn't understand that. I that trailer made me want to go back and watch the other Purge movies which I've avoided. I've never seen them. Because I like that they're building a mythos about this thing. The premises that once a year for 12 hours every th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th? The premise is that once a year for 12 hours, every crime is legal, including murder? I like that they keep saying including murder.

Because in case you were thinking about tax fraud, like you can also just commit murder. And all of the murderers look like super crafty jugglers. Yeah. Yeah, and like sexy juggles. Yeah. And like sexy murder times. Yeah. I did not understand what was happening in that trailer, but that's fine. Yeah.

I mean, who cares? Did I see a trailer for the Conjuring 2? Or am I making that up? No, no, no. Well, it was before, when I saw't remember anything about the trailer now that I'm thinking about. There was a kid on the ceiling at one point and all the crosses go upside down. Oh yeah, that was okay I guess. I'm not gonna see it. Have you seen the first condo-noons?

No, first half of a movie. they people really liked it. Nobody dies? No, nobody. Well, not in the present times. Most of the present times. There's a murder in the past or something. Oh, well, fuck it. I don't care. And speaking of the past, let's get into the witch. Okay.

I just really wanted to get how much I hated the hardcore Henry trailer. Yeah, I'm glad I didn't see that. I saw another one too, but I can't remember what it was. It was, uh... Hmm. I don't know. There was some future movie, like, future space movie, too. Might have been a future space movie. It's like little kids, or, like Hungry Games. Oh, the kids into? The Golden Compaces. Yep. That's what it is. I don't know. Something about a wall maybe? I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, no, that's the one. That's the one. And then they're like there if it turns out there's super soldiers or something. Yeah, I don't know. I think it just distresses me how out of touch I am with things. You. You. thage. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I'm just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just distress. I'm just distressed. I'm just distresses. I'm just distresses. I'm just distresses. I'm just distresses. I'm just distresses th. I'm just distrust. I'm just distrust. I'm just distrust. I'm just th. I'm just just touch I am with things. You know, like I don't understand anything. Like how Drake just doesn't make sense. I feel like we've discussed this on this podcast before. I do not know if he is in on the joke. I don't get it. Is he in on the joke? I wish you guys could have seen Katie shaking with angry.

I just don't know. I don't think guess I want someone to explain the joke to me, which isn't cool. Unfortunately, I don't think it's a joke. You think he's for serious though? For real Z's. But if you listen to Jump Man? Nope. Well, listen to it and then think about whether or not he could possibly have recorded that and

been like, that's good. Or whether he's like, I'm Canadian, I was under Grazzi. Like, do you know what I'm saying? I do. I don't get it. I am convinced that, you know how as you get older you lose tones basically and your hearing? So, good one. No. So that, uh, you know, there's now ringtones that high school kids have that their teachers can't hear. You're kidding. Now, whoa. So you didn't they they're they're they're they're they're th. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. the. the. the. the. theeeeeeea. thea. theeea. theeeeea. thea. I'm the. I. So you didn't know about that. I'm convinced that the good part of Drake is in a tonal range that I just can't hear. Oh. And for some reason it makes you put the letters, TBH and IMO at the end of everything you type online. It's TBH? To be honest. Oh, wow. Look at this. We should do a pop culture podcast. We teach each other. T. T. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the theors. the theors. theors. th. Oh, the theors. the. the the. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, theers. Oh, the. the. thea. the the the the thea. the the the the the to. the the the to. the the the to. the the thea. culture podcast where we teach each other things that we picked up. That would be on week. I'll show you how to use Reddit.

That was good. Remember when I learned about unboxings and it blew my mind? We are eight minutes into this podcast. What have we learned? I'm confused, I drank another giant soda. That it's always upsetting when someone uses the tha tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tha tha tha the the the the the t. t. the t. to to to th. to to toe. th. tooe. to be, to be, to be, to be, too. tooes, too- too- to see, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. I, th. I, thi. tod. tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttoday, today, today, th. We. I always upsetting when someone uses the term swole. Is that mean buff? Yeah. Okay.

I can't but think of a boner when someone says whole though. Yeah. But that's usually my problem thinking about boners. Anyway, the witch. Speaking of boners. Robert Eggers, first film. Yeah, crazy. This is this first movie.

So well executed. Yeah. There's a couple lessons to be learned here in this movie which is basically that there is no God. Children are monsters. And animals are kind of dicks. The best review that I've seen in this movie was from our friend Gene of the American Whe in London episode on Facebook she posted the witch.the first coming of age story that I can get behind. Oh, jeez. That might be paraphrasing there, but. Yeah. No, I mean, it's a very dark, depressing coming of age, for sure.

Oh, wow. We had different reactions to it. I find this movie so joyful. I've seen it twice and I'm just like, this rolls, I wanted to like cheer at the end of it. Well, okay so how should we do this? Should we talk? I mean I don't really want to go like scene by scene. Sure. I don't know. How do you want to do this? Basically a family becomes banished from a Puritan settlement? Yeah, somewhere in New England, 1600s. Yeah, it's years before the Salem Witch trials and all that stuff? Yes. I think it's they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. the. the. the. the. the. I the. the. I the. I don't the. I don't th. I don't th. I don't the Salem witch trials and all that stuff. Yes. I think it's like 1630 or something like that. And so they, because the father is prideful and he will not back down in his beliefs.

So he was like just the wrong kind of pious basically, I guess for them. It's important to note, I think, for the themes ofthe movie, that they are extremely religious. They truly 100% believe like the Puritan, I guess they're Calvinists maybe? True. Okay. That they're saying these religious things, even the children, but they honestly wholeheartedly believe them. I think this movie works best if you also believe that they believe all.

thi. believe all of this, that they are 100% behind what they're believing. Oh yeah, and I think they, I think that's pretty well brought to life in this, like particularly in the, I guess we're going to jump around, yeah, yeah. Particularly in the scene where, in Caleb's death scene, where he's having this like erotic vision of Christ as he dies, I've seen it twice now and I'm pretty sure that he says, bathe me in your fountains of blood? I don't know because I, if I'm more being honest, I didn't understand a lot of them. Oh, I'd like to talk about that too. Well, it's like a northern English accent and I am deaf and confused. In like a middle English dialect. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard to understand. Yeah.

So if I can be a pretentious ass real quick. Oh, get it out of the way. The first time I saw this, I was finishing up Shamus Haney's translation of Beowulf. And the second time I see it, I reading this book by Paul Kings North called the wake that's written in contemporary old English. Is that a thing? He did it.

He's called Shadow English and it's like it's a story that takes place in 1066 and it's like using old English words but in sort of like spellings that we can understand. Okay. Yeah, not some can or berry tales shit. So I feel like if there was a period in my life where I could go and watch the witch and be like, ooh, I'm just gonna slide right into this movie because I'm in all weird English mode like. Yeah, it's not that I didn't understand the dye, it's not that I didn't understand what,

I couldn't make out the words. It was a, it was a hearing issue, not like I don't understand, you know, old English, I needed subtitles. Oh, okay. Did you have the problem where this is a very quiet movie? Yeah. There's a few like really beautiful and ornate like musical pieces that happen that really punctuate things. But for the most part it's quiet. So I saw it in multiplexes both times and there's just like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, happening all around me. Oh, I didn't. I assume the dead pool is just erupting around me all the time. No. OK, so you did not have that experience of the low rumbles the entire time?

I did not. I also had a very great movie going experiences because I decided that I'm only going to the movies on Saturday mornings or Sunday mornings now. When people who are serious while to see the movie, which I was like, you're my people. What were the demographics of the crowd when you saw it? There was one old man by himself, and then there was a group of people maybe a little younger than me, people were probably in their 20s, behind me, but they were like on it. Yeah. And then there were like a few couples behind me. It was very, very respectful, which I was happy about.

The first time I saw it, it was my partner and I. And then, I don't know, I'm gonna say 10, 60-year-old women. Really? Together? No, they were all kind of sitting like solo. No, not a wine party. And it was it it it it it it it the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first th. th. th. thi. the first. th. th. th. th. th. th. the first the first the first. the first. the first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. I I the first. The first. I the first. I the first. I the first. It the first. I the first. I was. I was. I was. It was. It was. It was the first. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was t. It was t. It was ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. the first first first first. I was the first. I was the first. And it was stark silent. It was great. And then today I cut out of work early and went solid again. And I'm in the theater by myself. And I'm like, oh, this is going to be the fucking best. And like three minutes of four.

A guy walks in and the guy walks in and they all you not alone now. And I was just like, in the fuck up. Yeah. And then four more of his friends walked in, and they all looked like me. Oh, really? Good, though. So maybe it's just our people going to see this movie. Although my friend Kelly reported that she was in the theater to see this with a person who had brought children to see it? Like maybe they thought? No, this is not a movie for children.

This is not a movie that likes children. No, I had to throw away my pomegranate-scented body wash after I watch this movie. Because it is that ruby red color. Can we are, it's so good? It smells so good. Spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler we have made that extraordinarily clear If you have not seen the movie and are been listening up until this point by Please shut this the fuck hang up. I'm serious. I'm serious guys goodbye Goodbye. Holy shit in the first five minutes of this movie a baby is matched Mortar and pestle mashed mashed fat and blood rendered so that a witch can cast a spell on her naked, naked, naked,

naked body. Yeah, rubbing that shit. When that scene happened, I wanted to just stand up and go, they made a movie for me. They made a movie for me. Oh man. It's so, I can't think of ever seeing anything like that in a movie that's like, there's so many scenes in this movie that look like, what is, go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go. thio. th. thia. thia. thia. that's. that's. that's a that's. that's a goya. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's, I. that's, I. that's, I. that's, I. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's, I. that's, I. that's, I. that's, I. that's, yeah. that's, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. that's a that's a that's a that's a that's like, that's like, that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a movie that's like, there's so many scenes in this movie that look like, what is it, Goya, Goya's painting, Saturn eating his son? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's the? Is it Goya? It's Goya for sure. I think it's Saturn eating his son. Definitely just singing the teeth into that baby. Saturn devouring his son. Pardon, forgive us. I have a degree in this. There's so many like scenes that have that color palette to them. Everything that seems to involve the witch has that color palette to it.

And that scene where like you can't see her face, you can't really make out a lot about her, except that she's naked, and rubbing baby bits. Mush baby. Fah! It was a real cute baby too. They were like, look at this cute baby, look at this cute baby, look at this cute baby. Look at this cute baby. So gross.

I love that there is nothing in the trailer that set me up for that. No. No, like when the baby disappeared, I was like,. Yeah. So yeah, that was pretty fucked up. Yeah. For real. Yeah. He threw that soap away. I like looked it in the shower and I was like, uh-oh. Dead baby. I'll come back to it. I shouldn't have thrown it away. I should have saved it. But so. Had you unfurled your hair so that it was draped all the way down to your knees and you're like, well, it's gonna mash up this pomegrated body watch. I am, I do have Puritan hair, which you guys don't know because this is not a visual medium. Me too. It's super weird on you though.

So the family is excommunicated, banished and they're out and they, the woods, the woods, the woods, go, go. Like, this is another reason I will never go camping again. If Jason hitting a woman in a sleeping bag against a tree, it was a woman, maybe it was a man, I don't remember. And Friday the 13th part seven, wasn't enough. I'm never going again. Let alone going off into the most terrifying woods on earth.

The woods are just such a bad place. The wilderness is so bad. It just is, though. It just is. Oh, Katie's views do not represent all of Werewool Ambulance. I'm sorry that you don't agree that I'm right. I the anti. I the anti. I the anti.that I'm right. I usually do. Anti-Woods 2016. But the woods are a character in this film.

Like the way they're shot and those like, I'm almost like David Lynch style just like, I'm gonna leave a camera on these woods. I'm gonna walk away. You're gonna keep watching it. They just hold the woods and you're like something something to pop out every time I was like something gonna pop out I saw the movie for a second time today and it was still like did I miss something popping out no it doesn't yeah there's like maybe one jump

scare in this movie which I think the can we say I can yeah yeah we're a a boy spoiler boy boy boy boy boy boy boy the the tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th the the th the th th tho tho the tho the tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the spoil the goat charging the dad. Is that what know what you thought? What did you think? Caleb, the sun runs off into the woods on his own. Yeah. Comes upon the witch's house. Yeah. A witch comes out of the house who is Angelina Jolly. Did you say Jolly?

Yeah, so that's what we don't get sued? It's a long story. Anyway, earlier in the film we see that Caleb is sort of lusting for his sister. He keeps these lingering stairs on her breasts. He's having lustful thoughts. He's having preteen thoughts. Yeah, I don't think he's trying to... But in a Puritan mindset, those have to be like, like, yeah, the worstest. He's just trying to see some titties. Also, how good is that actor?

He's so good, that child? Both the, all the kids in this movie are so good. What his name is? No. Harvey Scrimshaw? I do know what his name is. That's a good name. He tell me about the jump scare. So he's in the woods. He comes up on the witch. The witch is voluptuous and beautiful. And then she goes in for an old smoocherroody on him.

And her old wizened hand grabs him on the back of the head. Oh, that got you. And it just like comes out of nowhere. And there's like a whip. seeing it for the second time. You know we met it was coming. Yeah. I yeah, the scene that got me was the Black Philip going after the dad. He just comes out of nowhere. Yeah. As good as the kids are, Black Philip is a great actor in this movie too. Apparently was an asshole to work with that go. That good Charlie as his name is. Yeah. Apparently all he did was nap or attack the guy who played the dad. That was like, he just hated that guy for some reason. Apparently like mess, not gored him, but you know,

butted him and the ribs and like caused some damage and real asshole that goat. I was putting him on par with the husky from the beginning of the thing. The one who was like possessed that stares out windows and stuff like. And I understand it's all editing, thing that, that, that, that, that, that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, like, likething, the one who is like possessed that stares out windows and stuff, like, and I understand it's all editing and training and all that, but it was just like, it was good. It was just so good and creepy and believable. And that goat is crazy, too, like,

his horns are huge. Goats, I feel like don't generally have horns that big. He's thoze, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that th. that's just just just that's just like, that's just like, that's just like, that's just like, that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee the the the the the thiiiiiiii. the thi. that's thi. that's that's like a ram. It's crazy. And the goats have those weird eyes that are like hourglass shape on the pupil and just like, ugh. Creepy. Black fella, black fella. I wish I could have understood the song they were singing it was good. Why don't those children have necks? I guess puritan kids didn't have a neck. They're wearing so many layers. They're wearing so many layers of clothes. They're just like a their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. their. I's, th. I's, th. I'm, th. I's, their. I'm, their. I'm, their. I'm, their. I's, their. I's, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, th. I, th. I. I. I. I. I, th. I. I, th. I. I. I. I, th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the t. t. the the t. the t. the t. the the they.. Yeah. I want to talk real quick about this movie's getting compared to a lot of things. Yeah, which is the way. It's getting lumped in with like It Follows and Baba Duke. Because it's a new movie that's good. Yeah, it's like a new wave of indie horror is what it's being. There was a tweet from Resident Asshole Brett East and Ellis. What a the th. th. th. th. It is th. th. th. th. It is a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's getting th. It's getting the. It's getting theeeeeee. It's getting theeeee. It's getting the. It's getting the. It's getting the. It's getting thildo that guy is. He's a piece of. And he said, I guess American Indy Horror

is my new least favorite genre. And he was like, it follows. Something, another movie I hadn't seen. And then Baba Duke and the witch. And I was just like, good. Go fuck yourself. Let me write another book about killing women, piece of shit. Yeah, get Andrew McCarthy thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho tho tho, th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, th. th. th. th. th. I's, th. I's, th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I, I, I I, I I I I I I I I th. And, I I I I I I I th. And, I th. And, I th. And, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm thi. And, I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thoooooo tha' tho tho tha' thia' thia' thi. And, thi. Yeah, get Andrew McCarthy in this project. Make less than zero again, you asshole. Yeah.

Yeah. Sorry if you guys are buddies and Ellis fans. You're doing it wrong. But I was thinking about that, and I kind of do, I see similarities of the sort of strong female leads and all of them, and it's almost from a woman's perspective, that sort of thing. Like, it's also getting compared to the shining quite a bit. Yeah, it's kind of like the wilderness and the isolation and the, you don't really know what the bad thing is

until it happens, really. The dissent into madness. Yeah, which I think is a fair comparison. Yeah, but I guess I focus on the shining being about like that, like,, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, the, the, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the the the the the the, the, the, the, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.eeeeei.a.a.eea.ea. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi. Yeah, but I guess I focus on the shining being about like that like just one person losing their mind and like dragging everyone else down with them where it seems like this entire family is gone bonkers. It does have sort of the themes of like the destruction of the family unit not being able to trust each other and yeah. I think the just the religious aspects of this are so interesting to me. just how what it must be like for the to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the the. the. the. the the the. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. I thi one one person. Just one person. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. thea. thea. thea. theea. thea. thea. theea. theea. thea. the. th. th. the. the just the religious aspects of this are so interesting to me.

Just how what it must be like for the main character Thomason, who's sort of our point-of-view character, to have, I mean at the beginning you like see her engaging with this like self-loathing that she's not religious enough, she's not pious enough and then how she ends up at the end, like what a switch had to have flipped for her to do that......... that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's that's that's that's what's what's that's, that's what's that's, that's, what, what, what, what, what, what's, what, what, what, what, what, what, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's thi's what's thi's what's what's what's what's what's what's what they, what's what's what, what's their, what's their, what's their, their's not religious enough, she's not pious enough, and then how she ends up at the end, like what a switch had to have flipped for her to do that. And that's why I'm saying it was a dark and depressing coming of age story, even though like totally go heel, I absolutely see why you made a heel turn, but like how just how extreme something has to be in order for you for her to have done that. Yeah Yeah, I kind of felt like if we want to get into that a little bit like yeah, it was Well, this didn't work and this guy's offering me all the good stuff if you're in her shoes like your choices are what starve? Right even your life before this all started happening kind of garbage pretty shitty you're. You're doing all this work. It's hyper-repressive.

Just like everything is a sin, and you're born into sin, and you have to try and make up for it by just thinking about God. Yeah. And even your day-to-day life, in a practical sense, is like work, work, work, you don stressed out, like, they're talking about sending you to like, live in another person's household and work for them, which I guess is not an uncommon concept, but, you know, like, that's what you have to look forward to. Or you can go back to the plantation,

and where you'll be tried as a witch, probably burned, right? whatever, hanged. Or you can like go party and live deliciously? Fly? But at the cost of like tearing apart other people's families the way this just happened to you. Yeah and baby mulching. Yeah. Smoor spoiler spoiler, spoiler, spoiler, using that pomegranate body wash. What do you think happened to the twins? Because the witch took them? But why? Where did they go? Do they get mushed up to? Like? Like? Like? Like? Like? Like? th? they? their? their? their? their? their? they? they? they? they? they? their? their? they their? they their? their? their. th. th. th. th. they? they they they they they they'd they'd they'd their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. But? their. But? their. But? their. their. their. their. their. their. their? they? they? they? they? they're they're their. their. th. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. try. try. today. try. try. tie. tome. try. tome? try. toy. today. t happened to the twins? The witch took them. But why? Where did they go? Do they get mushed up to? Like in old-timey folklore about witches,

the rendered fat of children is a big part of it. We definitely have made jokes about that in a previous episode where there was like a kid fat thing happening, but I cannot remember what movie it was from. Yeah. Because I remember being like th- the? Yeah. But yeah, so yeah, I think they were taken to be like, these are spell components. So you don't think they were witches? Not witches, but in league with the witches or like. Oh, in league with Satan. Yeah, because they were definitely, I mean, one of the lines in that Black Philip song they kept singing was, he's our master or something like that. That was like, I definitely made out the word master. Yeah.

Well, there's the scenes where the twins are locked in with Thomason and black Philip. And black Philip is obviously communicating to the kids because they're staring at him and the goats like nodding and then stops and they both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both it was really good. And then when she asks them if they're witches, the little boys like, does dad think we are? And the little girls like, are you? Like, the best way to answer a question you don't want to answer is with another question. So I don't know. I mean, I think there is something, but like the fact that the witch showed up was eating that goat and then just screamed at them and then they were gone. Yeah.

I read one theory that they were being burned in that fire at the end, but that seems like just a waste of kids. They all got to fly. True. Kid Smoke gives you wings like Red Bulls. Kid Smoke does the darndest things? Yeah. Black Philip, Plac Philip. So the art of Salvatore Rosa reminds me a lot of, let's see if I can find a better one to show you. There was a Salvatore Rosa exhibit at the Cleveland Museum of, Cleveland Art Museum.

And I went and saw it and like I feel like his stuff is very similar to the palette they were using in this movie as well. Yeah for sure it's very bleak and everything's dead. Everything's dead. Yeah this is I guess it's fall and it is just thrown. It's just, yeah. this is, I guess it's are failing, like the woods, it's just, yeah. Do you know about the ergot poisoning? So one of the theories about this movie is that the corn has mold on it that they've been eating. And that's why they're all descending into madness.

I think it's a real witch. I would like to think so. Yeah. Mainly because I want to live in a world where witches are real, but I also want to back that up and say I don't want them pummicing children or pummeling children. Any of the above, any of the above to children. I got this new child pumice stone that you really just rubbing that child so hard with it. I got to get and like there's that scene where the mother has the dream where she's breastfeeding her then dead child and then when she and then it's just a raven pecking at her breast which I've seen in like a wood carving like that that's an image that I've seen before but then she wakes up in the morning and she's got blood on her night again oh so did it up she'll let that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that bird peck her tit. I mean that's

fucked. That was the most yin's or your accent has ever been. You know. She let that bird peck her tit. She let that bird peck her tit. I love that aspect of this movie. I love that aspect of this movie where there's so much ambiguity about what is real and that's also a very shining thing about it like it.. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that, like like like like like like like like like like like like like like th. that's a that's a that's a that's a that's. I that's. I that's a that's. I that's. I that's a that's a that's. I that's a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. that. that. that. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. the. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that aspect of this movie where there's so much ambiguity about what is real. And that's also a very shining thing about it, like what's in their head, what's not. I honestly believed every part of it was real. Every part of it was really happening. Yeah. But she could have just walked into the woods naked at the end of the movie and then everything

was in her head. Maybe. But I don't think so just because just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to just just the to just to just to just the to just to just tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho tho that tho. that's that that's just that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the tho........... that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that't think so. Yeah, I'd like to believe not, but maybe. I don't think so just because so many, not so many other people, I guess only Caleb is the only other person who saw the actual witch, but the twinsie, the actual witch too. So all these people have seen it. So I don't know. And mom's did look that there is that ambiguity that is out there. I talked to a few friends about this movie and they didn't like it.

And one of the things they didn't like was the show don't tell aspect of it of like they're being a witch and they're being the witch's coven or whatever that it is. I like that. Yeah, that's a die. Yeah. horror movies to be like, well, we don't know. What do you think? Right. Which maybe it says something about me that I don't really want to think about it for myself. I want you to tell me what it is. Kind of like it follows. That was the beef I had with it follows.

I was like, no, you never made up your mind. It seems to me that a mind needs yours, because you're writing it. It does have that, but it just like, yeah, laying everything, I, like, spoiler, spoiler, spoiler, spoiler, spoiler, when Black Phillips speaks to her, I got giddy. Whoa. I was just like, yeah, this is the best. Because then he transforms into a well-dressed man that you don't see. No. You just get like some black clothes with sparkles on him. And like a hand. And a hand and a hat. And a hoof.

Oh, it's a the... He sells a hoof. I thought he saw a hoof. Did you see, have you seen pictures of the actor who does his voice? Oh, he's so hunky. Satan is supposed to be a very handsome man who comes to you and like with a bargain. And like, again, talking with Jean about this, who's also like, real into witch lord. Like she's way, way more knowledgeable than I am. We were both just like, this is what I wanted.

This is like, like, they didn't fuck it up, they didn't go half-ass on it. He obviously knows his shit. Reading an interview with Roger, Robert Eggers. He talked about like he grew up in New England and from like the age of six, he's just been hearing the like folklore and the witches of that era. So it was really like, he knows his shit and it was really interesting.

This movie would terrify someone from 1630. It would like validate every one of their fears. Yeah, I mean I think that's an important thing to consider too is that like in 1630 there was no real world and fantasy world like which is existed in the world you live in, the devil exists in the world you live in like bad shit lives in this world. There are monsters in 1630 like so I don't know it just seems to put that into context that like this shit is so th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I'm thi. I'm thi thi thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. I'm thii. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm't know it just seems important to put that into context that like this shit is so real to them. Especially for these people. Yeah. Especially for these extremely pious, extremely fearful. I mean think about the

environment that they were walking into like it is totally unknown. Yeah. If there are other people out there they're probably going to be hostile towards you being there. Yeah, you're an outsider outsider thiiiiiii outside th. this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this is an this is an this is an this is an this is an th. It is an th. It is an th is a th is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. th. th. th. thi is thi is a thi is a thi. thi is thi. thi. It is thi. It is thi. It is thi. It is thi. It is thi. thi. thi. It is thi. thi. thi is thi is thi. It is totally unknown. Yeah. If there are other people out there, they're probably gonna be hostile towards you being there. Yeah, you're an outsider. You just got there. Or just not able to help you. Yeah. And the rest of it is just this huge unknown. Yeah.

And you are party to this religion that is so oppressive and so strict. Yeah. bad shit's real I just I just I just thought about like the people who went to like Minnesota and they got there for the first time and they got there in spring and they're like oh this is totally great we'll set up a camp it's just like home oh my god like oh my god like when winter comes like think about like all of the things that are going to come to them that they have not encountered yet. The scene where spoiler spoiler spoiler William asked Catherine what she wants what she wants to do and she just like breaks down and says I want to go home. Yeah to England to England and I was just like You kind of can't and that's awful. Yeah, yeah, we were not made to be pilgrims. No you and I know no no no no, no, I'm. I'm, I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I'm, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I'm the spoiler, I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the spoiler. I the spoiler. the the the the the the spoiler. the spoiler. the spoiler. the spoiler. the spoiler. the spoiler. the spoiler. I the the spoiler. I the the the the the the spoiler. I the the the the the spoiler. I the the spoiler, the spoiler, the spoiler, I the spoiler, I the spoiler, I the spoiler, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the spoiler, I, I the spoiler, I the spoiler, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the spoiler. William. the the the the the the the the the thethat's awful. Yeah. Yeah, we were not made to be pilgrims. No, you and I, no, no, no, no, I'm a toilet man all the way. Oh, put it in the pooper. No, is that in the last episode?

Or was that earlier today? It wasn't the last episode. Toilets are called poopers. That's all. No, no. She's a little pooper though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. yeah, she's a little pooper though. Yeah, definitely not billed for this life. Definitely not build for this life. No. I don't think I ever would have been either. And I mean, I think that adds an extra, just, I mean, it's the isolation. It's it's alien, it's the shining, it's the descent where they're just not able to get out of those caves. It's all that stuff of just like, you're fucked no matter what. Yeah, you're fucked no matter what. Even if there isn't a witch, you're fucked because you're gonna starve.

You're gonna starve because you're not able to produce your own food. And you've alienated the people who might be able to help you. Yeah. Smug. Smug- Smug-. Too prideful. Too prideful. Yeah. But such a great, like, I love that the father doesn't go... He doesn't get shitty. No, no. He's pious and overly religious and he's overly willing to believe the ideas of a witch but like when he is first confronting Thomason about being a witch, he doesn't want to believe

there's so much love in that of just like just tell me and we'll figure it out, we'll try to work it out. I feel like he kind of let her take the fall for the silver cup incident though, which is like you, you can't because there's already this like trouble brewing between her and her mother, The baby has been lost, the mother. The baby. th. th. The baby has. The baby has th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th, yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, th. th. th. th, just, just, just, just, just, just, th, just, th, just, th, just, just, just, just, th, just, just, th. th. And, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, the the the the the the the the the the the the t. togu. today, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, just, like, like, just, like, just, like, just, like, just, like, just, just, just, just, just, you have to step in. You're responsible for this. I didn't like that. And he let his son take the fall earlier for them going out. Oh, about the apples, yeah. I didn't like that. But like, they're just, you know, he didn't turn into, uh, into Jack Torrance. Right, no, he didn't.

And then he fucking stabs her mom. Sorry, I'm cursing so much in this episode, but God made me bad. I love you, I love you, I love you, stabbed in the face. Yeah, that was really sad. It was so sad because you're still like, we know that she's not the witch. We know that she is just a girl. I didn't know that though. I didn't know that, because I don't, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, I, I thi, I thi, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, I, I, I was, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, that, I was, I was, I was. that's. that's. that that's that's that that's that, I was that, I was that, I was know really until there's always the possibility that she is causing this.

The second time seeing it, I saw that even more. Yeah. That it could have been her the entire time. Especially because she gives that speech to her little sister at the beginning about like dancing in the moonlight with the devil. I've signed his book. Which is interesting given that later that little girl is. Do you think she couldn't sign his book because she was never taught to write?

I mean she does say that. I can't write my name. Oh, is that what she says? Oh, is that what she says? And then he says, and then he says, and then, and then he says, and then he says, I will guide you. Yeah, I wa' thi th. I wasn't th. I wasn't th. I wasn't th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's says, that's says, that's says, that's says, that's says, that's says, that's says, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th.. Okay. No, I think she couldn't do it. She was ready for the cup and the butter and the butter and the- She wanted to live deliciously. No, imagine like an orange cat in your face massively overweight and he's saying, would thou like to live deliciously? That's funny.

Drive that point home. You know who does not like me saying that? Missing. Yeah, probably not. Real quick diversion. Guys, go to Justin Gray's Instagram, burn. Dot to, dot build, and look at the picture he did for this, for the witch. I love it. I won't spoil what it is. Spoil, spoil, spoil.

But it, uh, Justin is the fucking best. Yeah, go look at it. Do you think that some that some that some that some that some that some that some that some that some that some that some that some that some th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. Do you think that some of the negativity towards this movie is because it's not a slasher? It's not like a huge, phew, phew, phew, phew, movie? Yeah, I've heard... It's not a dead pool. Orrin Gray, who, uh, there's a friend of the podcast. He said that like, when he, I'm pretty sure was, I was, I, I, I, that, th.

like the people who worked there were like, does anything happen in that movie? We watched something that nothing was happening. And he and I also were like, dude, from the word jump, this movie is running. This movie is like showing you so much and. I mean, it is a slow burn. Like, there are a lot of quiet scenes of not much, but it's all part of this larger, I don't know.

I felt so much tension tension tension tension tension tension tension tension tension tension tension tension is another thing I didn't know if it was building tension or if it's because I had to pee so bad I couldn't take it and I need to stop doing this because I'm ruining in these movies for myself. I'm serious. It's like a real problem. Yeah. I like I'm sorry. I have to stop. Just do what I do and I do and I do and sm th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th th. I th. I the, I th, I have to stop. Just do what I do and smuggle in a bag of orange or mint leave gummies with you and eat those by you watch foodie. That soda is so bad. I got a small this time. It was definitely a small. It's still like 32 ounces.

I like that half of this episode is us discussing what it's like to attend a movie. I'm real bad that that thi. th th th th th th th th th th th th thus thus thus thus thus thus that that that that that that that that that that that thus tho tho tho tho tho tho that. thus. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thus thus thus thus thus thus th th th th th th th thus th thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus. thus. thus thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo's thus. I thus. I'm real bad at going to movies because I don't want anyone doing anything while I'm watching the movie and I get irate. We went and saw Crimson Peak, the Giamoto-Moo-Toro movie. I like how you said that. Yomoto. And... Not worried about getting sued by him. First 10 minutes of the movie, nobody but my partner and I in the theater. I was like, oh we're crushing it. We're going to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get a the to get a the to get the the to get the the the the the the the the the the the the movie the movie the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. I. I. I. I. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thea. I'm theat. Ia.ooooooooooooom.oom. Ia. Ia. Ia. Ia. Ia. Ia. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'mucking best. I was like, oh, we're crushing it. We're going to watch this movie alone in the theater. And you're going to jerk off. Couple walks in. And when they're walking in, the guy is texting. Put it away.

All right, he's going to put it away. They sit like 10 rows behind us. the woman starts with, oh, I'm th. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the thi. the thi. thi. the thi. the thi. thi. th th th the th th the thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. thi. thi. tou. tou. tou. toooooooooo tea. tou tea. tea. tou to tou tou to tou tou t. I hate when people talk to the movie. I'm like, okay. And then I hear, yeah, no, I'm in a movie. I know I'm gonna go to Home Depot after. Oh, oh no. And I was just like, I know, I know, it's people are monsters. It's just becoming so difficult to be in public with other people because they're such monsters. We need a witch scourge to come and just like clear them out.

Do you know what I mean? The rendered fat of asshole people will make which is flying. Yeah. Might be. So on that note, do we want to move on to the ratings phase for this? Oh, I guess so. I do feel like we're like not talking about the specifics of it, but I want them to go see it. I want people to go see it. Honestly, though, if they've gotten to this point in the podcast and they haven't seen yet, they deliberately just obeyed our instructions. Yeah, what's up with that?

And I thought you feared us, the way the Pyritons feared Christ. They must not want to listen. They don't want to live deliciously. No. We all want to live deliciously. Don't, don't thou? Don't. I do really want this movie to come out for my home television screen though, so that I can watch it with subtitles. Sure. Because I feel like I missed a lot of nuance.

By just not being even underseen what they're saying, just, that accent is so hard for me. Second time through I think I got more. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. So let's move on to the ratings phase. What's thou like to rate this movie? I loved this. I loved it. Here's the problem. Shoot. I feel like giving it a 10 makes me a pawn of the system. But I gave Childs Play 2 a 10, so how can I give this

anything less than a 10? You know what I'm saying? I do, but you could say that for so many other movies that we've done. I'm giving it a 10. I loved it. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, it's great. Yeah. I'm done with my rating space. That's all. Black Philip, Black, Philip. OK, now I'm done. I'm going to give it 10 pulp babies.

No. It's a, it's so good. It's like, it's everything I want out of this type of horror movie. Like just the rich gothic horror of just, it's so bleak. It's so bleak that when something goes right for her in the worst possible situation at the end of this movie, I was like, it's a win it's a win like it's like it's yeah it's so weirdly nihilistic and just it was just so disturbing to me how she the switch that she made that she had to make she had no choice but to make you

know like what else is she gonna do and that's just like nobody else was offering her butter no oh butter oh butter I tho I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th I th I th th th th th th th th th th that th that that that that that tho I, butter. I thought about bringing butter up here and offering it to you. I didn't eat it. My rendered fat is good for something. Yeah, I would, I would, I'm scared to give it a ten to, to the tend to, like, I was an old friend. Sat on forever. Yeah. But like, fucking go see thi th th th th th th the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi.. thi thi. thi. thi. I'm thi. I'm thuuuu. I'm thu. I'm thi. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm. I I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I'm the. I'm the. I new to me? I feel like everything else I've given a tend to of like as an old friend. Sat on forever. Yeah. But like fucking go see this movie. Whatever I'm giving the rating like go see this movie like go see this movie go see in the theater I think that's a really interesting experience. Yeah. I've had a

a lot of people have said the crowds, you know, superheroes screaming at them the entire time. I don't get those. I don't understand those. Don't make sense to me. I gave up on Jessica Jones, by the way. It's fine. I was just like, I got halfway through the season and I was like, what is happening?

You know what I mean? Like, in what world do you live? And I turned it off. You know what isn't confusing, Katie? What? Cryptocurium! Do you guys love these segues we're doing? Cryptocurium is a monthly subscription box that you, yourself, can get with a mere $35 a month. Go to Cryptocurium. to Cryptocurium.

And click on the parcel of terror, and sign up for it. And just like be totally delighted. Live deliciously like for once in your fucking life. Dust thou want slasher magnets? Thou dust. Thou thou tus. Does they want stickers and wallpacks? Jason Hand makes all of the stuff except for some of the art prints which done by guest artists. And this stuff is just beautiful. It's incredible. And it's going to make your house look awesome.

Yeah, good spooky house. Yeah. You don't want to live in like a cabin on the outskirts of the woods that's like falling down. No, you want a candy man on your refrigerator. Fill it with spooky stuff because it'll make that cabin in the woods so much better. That's true. So much better. Think it through guys. There's no reason for you to not get Cryptocurrian. Yeah.

I mean, if you have a reason, I'm happy to hear it, but I will give you all the reasons that you're doing it wrong. $35 a month is like what, half, what, to $1, to $1, to $1, to $1, to $1, to $1, to $1, to $1, to $1, to $1, thi? thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi. thi, so much, so much, so much, so much thi, so much thi, so much thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, so thi, so thi. So, so th. So, so much th. So, so much thi. So, so much thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thiii. thi. thi. thi., because I can't stay away from the snack stand. Barcel of Terror, $35 a month, get in there. He shows you each month what's gonna be in the box. You can choose whether or not to cancel your subscription. Why would you do that? You're not gonna do that. You're not gonna do that. You're just just get it.

Thanks again, Jason, for sponsoring. Thank you, Jason. Oh, and thank you for those roast beef sandwiches you sent us. They were delicious. That's Arby's, live delicious. Oh, man, it's Arby's gonna adopt the witch as there. God, what a great marketing scheme that would be, like giving out happy meal style toys, but it's just a mashed up baby? Oh God. This is why I don't work in marketing, I guess. That's not good.

The new Black Philip Burger. I would eat goat though. So what do we do next week? Katie, I'm thinking we're going to be back on the year of rage. Year of rage. We're going to attempt to watch and hopefully make it through. We have to. We have no choice.

This is our job. It's on Netflix. Pay up, assholes! Starring the one and only Nicholas Gage, because I guess he had them tax bills to pay. I guess. Oh yeah, pay the bankruptcy attorneys. It appears to be unrated, which leads me to believe it was never had a theatrical release.

It's from 2015, I've never heard of it. And the plot sounds like it might just be Antichrist, but probably without the dick bleeding. Funnyest movie I saw that year. Oh, it's awful. Oh, what an awful movie. What an awful man, Lars Moncher is. Can we just... What does the fox say?

Chaos rains. All I could think was Jesus wept. All I could think is why is that fucking Fox talking in this real-world story that has no fantasy elements whatsoever? Oh, okay. This real old story where a dude comes blood. Do you come blood? Let us know it. Facebook. Do not let us know. Instagram, Twitter, Angel Fire, Tumblr, LinkedIn, Monster. thu. And Netflix. Ah. Find us on Netflix.

You can interact with us on Facebook. Like Katie was saying. Peter. There was Jeremy. There's Craig. Thanks, Craig. Thanks, Craig. And X. The one who likes the beat beatboxing. Oh is he? I think so. Sorry Craig. Buk. An extra special thanks and go to our Facebook page to see this. Someone named I Regrub was the first name. Did a drawing for the shitty Batman tights farting. It's so good. It's so wonderful. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank all of you. Thanks for thi. Thank all of you. Thanks. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Sorry, th. Sorry, th. Sorry, th. Sorry, th. Sorry, th. Sorry. Thanks, th. Sorry. Thanks, th. Sorry. Sorry. Thanks, th. Sorry. Sorry. Thanks, th. Sorry, th. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. th. Sorry. Sorry. th. th. Sorry. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Sorry. th. Sorry. the the th. Sorry, the th. Sorry, the the the th. Sorry, th. Sorry, th. Sorry, th. th. Sorry, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. Sorry, thi. Sorry, thi. Sorry, good. It's so wonderful. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank all of you. Thanks for talking to us. Thanks for rauding us on iTunes. Thanks for telling your friends. You guys are killing it. Yeah. We're getting more and more EMTs and we thank you for that. We're indoctrinating

them into our cult of, I don't know what we would stand for. Snacks? Awkwardness? Uh, probably both. Living deliciously, but doing it in a way that makes you uncomfortable to be around other people. I think it's pretty much what it is. Nailed it. Thanks, you'll sing to another episode of Wurrow Amyons. Bye. Bye. Does thou want to say good-bye? Bye.