Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 74- Pay the Ghost (2015)

Episode Date: March 21, 2016

This week we're returning to our collective pool of rage to discuss the 2015 previously unheard-of Nicolas Cage film "Pay the Ghost." Why was is previously unheard of? Because it is bad. It is very bad. Special topics of conversation include: way too much discussion of the anatomy of Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation, mushing a bunch of movies together, all of the financial woes of one Nicolas Cage, what happens when a person who doesn't really like horror movies tries to make a horror movie, pretty German ladies and LORIIIIII! We sort of feel like it's a dumb question to ask you if you've seen this one--of course you haven't, why would you? More importantly, why did we??-- but on the off chance you Netflix'd into it...what do you think of it? If not, what's your favorite Nic Cage role? Tell us at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Instagram @werewolfambulance or on Twitter @werebulance.  Please also visit this week's sponsor, Cryptocurium, at www.cryptocurium.com to sign up for their Parcel of Terror. After you hear all the great stuff that's in the most recent box, you'll be begging them to take your money! Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

It is weird the data has a dick though. Sorry, we've just spent the last like 10 minutes talking about data's dick. Not 10 minutes, 5, 2, several, several minutes. Do people call it S-N-G, or S-T-N-G, Star Trek Next Generation? I don't know. Star Trek, and I don't know shit about Star Trek shit. I just know the data has a dick.

Why does data have a dick, though? Who is he gonna fuck? I guess you're? Yeah. Time to show for posing in Playboy? Is that why? They fucking kill her. I couldn't, spoilers for Star Trek Next Generation. I couldn't believe it though.

I thought she would come back to life. Nope, her family demanded that she, she's part of Bing Crosby's family. What? Yeah, she's Denise Crosby's name, yeah. I think it was Playboy that she posed for and they were like, no, you're done, you're out of showbiz. Who said that? Her family were just like, you've embarrassed the family, you're gone. So what does she do now? Last thing I saw, she did that movie Trekkies, which if you haven't seen, I'll let you borrow that too.

It's a documentary about Star Trek. Oh, I don't where I'm out right now. Next episode we'll talk about wharf's dick. Ooh, he can fuck you to death though is what I've heard. He says it though, he says it. He says it. He does though. He says, I can't fuck you to death. But he says that he can't, he can only meet with Klingons because, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is th. He, is tha, is tha, is tha, is tha, is tha, is tha, is tha, is tha, is tha, is tha, is tha, is, is, is tha, is, is can only meet with Klingons because he's too forceful or something. And I was like, Warf will fuck you to death.

It's just crazy. Like, we're supposed to be such a badass. All he does is get his ass kicked and get turned down for his ideas. He's like, I recommend we do this. And they're like, shut the fuck up. Sorry. This is our Star Trek for the Next Generation podcast. Love Space. Wherewolf Starship? We built this city. Hello. And welcome to another episode of Wherewolf Ambulance. Do you like these intro as you let us know? Just picking up wherever we can. I'm Katie. I'm Alan. We're here to talk about a Nicholas Cage movie. That's probably why we're not talking about it. Yeah.

And we're talking about Dada's Dick. I mean... We're really earning that explicit, too. Oh, yeah. It was pointed out to me that I missed hitting the explicit button for one episode. So if you look at our iTunes list, it's like everything is explicit except I think the alien episode definitely explicit We should do a kids friendly episode do like a like goose buns movie or something I don't know that I can make any promises but I'll try yeah why not do one for the kids Because the warful fuck you to death I gotta get it out I gotta get it out

We're here to talk about the film Pay the Ghost. Pay the Ghost. Which you can watch on the netting flicks. PTG. It's really weird. It was made in 2015. Yeah. I'd never heard of it until it showed up on the netting flicks.

Nicholas Cage, that woman from the Walking Dead. Yeah, Laurie. Glory! Nicholas Cage, that woman from the Walking Dead. Yeah, Laurie. Laurie. Carl! I don't know what that means. The one dude just yells his wife and kid's name over and over. He's always distressed about something.

Well, it's a distressing thing. I also really don't like the Walking Deds. Yeah, I mean, me either. I dipped out after the second season. I, yeah, I don't think've made it through the second season. Well, it's just, well, whatever, who cares. So this movie is a, our second movie in a row where a kid disappears. That's something, right?

Oh yeah. Tying into the witch. This is a movie where a kid disappears. That's about all that happens. No, I mean, it's the only really truly terrifying thing to happen, because if you, I don't have a child obviously, or I wouldn't talk with such a potty mouth, but just like the idea of losing your child and not knowing where they are, like not that they're dead, because if they're dead, at least you can like grieve or whatever, has to be absolutely the worst thing that can happen. It's just so terrifying. And they try to convey that in this movie.

I mean, Nicholas Cage is conveying things. I just don't know what things. So Nicholas Cage is a book boy. So Nicholas Cage. He's a dedicated academic. I don't buy him as a trying to get tenure. Yeah. I think he's an English professor? He did, there's like an English professor scene where he's like, reading so dramatically. You know, he's reading Faust or something, I think. Yeah. I believe he's reading Gerta. Yeah, you know. He also has permanent sad eyebrows.

He's just always sad. Probably because he's so poor and he had to make this movie. Listen. To sell his dinosaur bones. Yeah. Well, actually he gave that back to the Mongolian government after he heard it had been stolen. Oh, really? Yeah, it was the right thing to do.

Yeah, he owned like several castles and what I believe was referred to as a squadron of Rolls-Royces. Oh really? Yeah, because he sued his financial advisor for not telling him not to buy these things and the financial advisor was like, actually I told you not to. So, yeah. Wow. Yeah. So, so, he also used to be so handsome. Oh yeah. Valley girl? Yeah. Leaving Las Vegas even though he's like a crazy drunk. Yeah. Now he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th., leaving Las Vegas even though he's like a crazy drunk. Yeah. Now he just looks like... I mean he's older. I shouldn't fall in for that. Many men get better looking as they get older. Sure. Not Nicholas Cage. I think Keanu Reeves. It's insane looking. Yeah. Here to talk about Bay the Ghost. So he's a book boy and he's trying to get tenure. And he has this friend his pretty this friend. He's a pretty this friend. He's a pretty this friend. He's a pretty the the th. He's a th. He's a the the th. He's a th. He's a the th. He's a the th. He's a the the th. He's a the the the th. He's a th. He's a book. He's a book. th. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's a book. He's a book. He's a book. He's a book. He's a book. He's a book. He's th. He's th. He's th. the. the. the. the. the. He's the. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's a book. He's a book. He's a book boy and he's trying to get tenure. And he has this friend who's pretty German lady friend. That's all she is. The beautiful researcher is my notes caller.

I refer to her specifically as a pretty German lady with that sign. And it's the day before Halloween when we first meet him and he's neglecting his child. I have a note here that just says, your dad is the worst, he doesn't love you, he just loves the work. Which is basically the first act of this movie. Yeah. He's married to Laurie. Yep, that's her. And they have this child.

And she has one face in this movie. Distressed? Distressed, but like like I don't know. Well there's the scene early on where she touches Nicholas Gage as Weiner which was uncomfortable. I missed that and they get into bed and he's she's like if you miss Halloween tomorrow if you miss if you don't carve that pumpkin with it and tomorrow he's gonna disown you and he says well you're gonnaown me, and then hands slips under the covers. And he goes, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ew.

Ew. I started thinking about Data's dick again. I'm sorry. I don't know. I do have the note that says, ooh, he's lecherous. sohn that's probably what that's about. It's with his wife. Yeah, but you still be letcherous with someone you love. It's true.

It's true. I have a series of notes. I stopped taking notes part way through and I don't know what any of them mean. And I just... So the day of Halloween he finds out that he's got in tenure and he has to go tell the beautiful researcher because she got him the job, I guess. And so doing that, he's late. He constantly is letting his phone battery die, too. That's established early on. And so he's not getting calls from his wife about where are you?

It's Halloween. The kid wants to go out and he dressed as a shitty pirate. And- Why is he a shitty pirate? I don't know, because he just had the patched on his eye patch. I want photo realism in this. I get you to grown a beard. It's like seven. Stuff of your game kid. Put on that plastic Casper costume and I wore when I was seven.

Yeah, the ones that be vomited on it could just be wiped off. And you just sweat to death underneath the thumb. It was literally just like a plastic smock with a plastic mask. That was an elastic band owner on the back of your head. I love them. Ben Cooper Mass. They're amazing. I have a couple of mock-ups of them hanging up around the room. They would tell you what you are. If you were superman, it would say Superman. Yeah, I liked that. It was easy to tell. Well, Old Deal, we'll say it. They're just making a nice joke. What am I going to to you the to th to to th the th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their their thi thin thin' thin' their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I th. I thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I tipe. I tipeooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I th am I going to talk to this kid about? If all your taxes is this year, huh? Cool tax joke. Very timely. Oh, there is another time of the thing. We are recording this episode on St. Patrick's Day, which will come up later in this movie. Really? Well, yeah, there's the whole, Momskybett it. There's like, it's blamed on like Celtic witchcraft.

Oh yeah, they hate the Irish in this movie. They really do. So happy St. Patrick's Day to those who celebrate. So he's late getting home and the kids already trick or treat it. But there's a street carnival which looks almost exactly like the street carnival for trick or treat treat treat treat tree. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's tree. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's they's they's they's they're they're their. their. they're their their their their their their of crazies. Tells his wife he's got ten years, she's excited, they're gonna fuck later, she says so just as about as much. Yeah. We need to celebrate later. Ah, oh, oh. I don't care if they're the most beautiful people on the planet. Hearing people talk about how they're they're gonna have sex and makes. the th. th. their th. th. th. their th. they're they're th. th. they're th. th. they're th. thick they're they're they're thu they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to f. to fuck to fuck to fuck to fuck later to fuck later to fuck later to fuck later to fuck to fuck to fuck to fuck to fuck to tick. to to togu-a togu-a toge. toge. toge. thu-a thu-a they're gonna they're gonna f. to yourself. I just don't want anybody to fuck. I just think nobody should fuck. What about data and Tashogh? Okay, they can work. Well, like, why

does he have a dick though? Like, who put it there and what were they thinking he was going to do with it? And is it metallic? Is it just hard all time? Well, he's wearing that Spandex suit, you know, like, okay, thu-I thu-I thu, okay, thu, thi, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to-s. to-s. to-a. to-a. to-a. togee. thi, thi, thi, thi, th? Well, he's wearing that Spandex suit, you know, like, okay, all right, all right. You know, future space clothes suck. Yeah, I'm not into them. Apparently, well, never mind, I'm not even going to get into it. Oh, but prior to this, the child has been having the child, I don't even know what his name is, Brian, we'll call him from Wings. Charlie. Charlie. Charlie. Charlie. Bar-Bah.

Has been like seeing things outside his window and there's an indication that something is like watching him. Yeah, yeah. I think it's the monster from Darkness Falls is watching. Yeah, I mean. This movie has a blender of other movies. I guess. Some of them very mediocre like Darkness Falls. This is just a movie made by someone who doesn't care about horror.

I have a question. So they go to the street fair, this carnival, this rowdy, like, looks like Mardi Gras almost carnival. In New York City, they live in New York City, which comes up in just a moment. So they are, Nicholas Cage holding his son's hand, goes up, to to to to to to to to moment. So they are, Nicholas Cage's holding his son's hand, goes up to get a ice cream going for him. Kid does not need ice cream. It's like midnight on Halloween.

He's already jacked on candy. Seriously. Sorry you're like trying to buy his affection because you've been such a terrible father. He asked to have sprinkles. Those are called j called Jimmy's. They're Jimmy's. They're not called Sprinkles. What are you doing? Yeah. But this movie's a lie. Well, it gets even more of a lie because my absolute favorite line in this movie is after the child has disappeared and Nicholas Cage is talking to the detective in his apartment. And the detective says, we've put out an APB, every cop in Arizona, we'll keep an eye out for him. What? Well, you just fucking left left. that that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the th. the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their. their their. their their th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. te. tea. tea. te. te. te. te. their their their their their their their that in there. Really? Yes, I like backed it up because I was like, he did not just say Arizona.

And I backed it up and I listened to it again and I was like, I think he said Arizona. And then I put the closed captioning on. And he said, we put out an APB, every cop in Arizona will be looking for him. That's really weird. It's next to the meat packing district. No, it's so bad. Like that's how little anybody cared about this movie. Wow. Yeah.

Right after the Jimmy's comment that I have written down, I have, man, I'm already checked out of this movie. It's only 18 minutes in. I know. I know. And then I have the note so much for your tenure now, child loser. He lost his fucking kid. He was the the the the kid. thaa. tha. thiiiia. thia. thia. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. lost his fucking kid he was holding the kid's end it disappears. Well right before he disappears the kid says dad can we pay the ghost and Nicholas Cage is dressed like a cowboy which I was wondered if that was like poking fun at him personally because I feel like he's dressed like that quite a bit. He's a huge Elvis fan okay so I thought he was

gonna be dressed as I think he plays Elvis in True romance. I think like and you never see him, but he's playing Elvis. Correct me if I'm wrong EMTs. I'm sure you will Sure, they will. I also have the note this is gonna put a damper on future Halloween's. Yeah, really well Luckily it doesn't come to that. I haven't heard this as lull crying. They must not be paying him enough to make. to to to to to to the to to the to to to to the to their. to their. to their. their. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. I. I. t. I. t. t. t. t. t. te. t. t. te. te. te. try. try. I. try. I tell. I try. I try. try. tell. I try. I the the the. I haven't heard that says lull crying, they must not be paying him enough to make an effort. Which, no tears come out of his face. You can't just squint and go, uh-huh. Maybe it would have gotten into the theaters if you could have shed a goddamn tear. Do you think anybody who is listening to this episode right now actually watched this movie? Oh yeah we didn't worry about spoilers. I don't. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, it thi, it thi, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just just, it's just just just just just just just just just just just just just, it's just, it's, it's, it's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, it's just just just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Oh yeah we didn't worry about spoilers. I don't think it matters but like do you think people are just like oh I'm not getting in on that one? I'm not doing it. I think we tagged this enough as year of rage returns so yeah we're we're back in. So we jump a year ahead. Charlie's been gone for a year. Nicholas Cage is now living in his apartment filled with a serial killer wall that just has all the shit tacked to it.

Yeah. And his wife's doing really well. She has two giant imax, like. Well, she's working on those clients. They're not going to finish them. What's she designing clients? I have to at this point. Oh yeah, it was Charlie's footage from that night.

Yeah. Which is like the worst jump scare, it made me so fucking mad. Because it got me. Like it really didn't make me jump. But it pissed me off because you can't just like throw something at people to scare them. That's not how it works. Ken if you if you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th trying. I guess so. And they weren't. So he's talking to his pretty German friend,

and she's like, do you need to take another leave of absence? And I was like, you've already taken one. Good thing they fucking gave you tenure. Good thing you're just shitin' now. Well, he's like I can't, I'm not not inspired, I'm not inspired, I'm not inspired, I'm not inspired, I'm not inspired, I'm not inspired, I'm not inspired, I'm not inspired, I'm not inspired, I'm not inspired, I'm not inspired, I'm not inspired, I'm not inspired, I'm not inspired, I'm not inspired, I'm not inspired, I'm not inspired, I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toa., to to to to to to real sleepy. I got these tired-ass eyebrows. He looks like a Christopher Walk and Wax figure. Christopher Waxin. I gotta get one in. I got to get one in. That's your one.

That's it. I hope you, I hope you liked that one, because that's what you're going. So he has a contentious relationship with the police officer that he was working in Sun's case. Seems to be hounding him. The guy's in a huge file and he's like, you know what, go suck a butt, motherfucker. I'm doing all this shit for you. And he and his wife have broken up. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah, yeah. Right, right. And he starts to see visions of Charlie. the bus, thi. to see. to see. to see. the bus. the to see. the the the the th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. to. the thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. too. the too. the too. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. too. too. too. too. too. tthe window and he chases the bus down very dramatically I guess if you care and then he gets on the bus and he's pushing through all these people going Charlie Charlie, Charlie, none of these people are letting him through him through he's screaming. He gets to the back of the bus and the seats and the seats are just empty. Everyone's standing around next to you. Ridden plenty of city buses. Somebody probably peed in that seat and that's why no one who's rocking it. Oh wait, here, all these people standing around empty bus seats, have you never

ridden a bus? If there's not poop on it, you sit. So he rides the bus to the building that he needs to go see. Because it's got, pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the bus the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the bus. the bus the bus the bus the bus the bus the bu. their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I. I. I. I's. I got pay the ghost written on the outside of it. What did? The like the industrial building that all the like dreadlocked Stephen Tyler lived. Oh really I went with the Rasta Harry Dean Stanton. That's better, that's better and I'm jealous. This guy is fucked up looking. He says to cover the fire you cover it. You do what he tells you. Yeah he just goes down into these homeless people's home and starts going to the the like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like. the. the homeless. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, where. Oh, where. Oh, where. Oh, where. Oh, where. Oh, where. Oh, where. Oh, like. Oh, like. Oh, like. Oh, like. Oh, like. Oh says to cover the fire you cover it. You do what he tells you. Yeah he just goes down into these homeless people's home and starts going what's pay the coast mean? What's pay the coast? Who's paying the coast? Yeah. Let's pay the ghost? What is it? I don't know? It sounds like one of those shitty metal core vans? Yeah, it absolutely does. You like see alternative press in the

borders or whatever and you're like, look at these dildos. On the warping tour. On the warping tour. I started writing different titles for this movie, which I have literally no recollection of doing, such as pay the goats, slay the ghost, I don't know what I meant by that one. Just so fucking bad. It's just like nothey, no one, no fucks were given in the making of this movie. No. Why did Rasta Herodinstead and have perfect treadlocks? They were nice.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't even remember what that was where the portal was? I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I, I don't, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th. I th. th. th. th. th. that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I don't, that, that, that, tho, the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, that, that, to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, than, than, than, that was where the portal was. I don't even. You know what? I'm done. That's all the notes I have anyway. This is where I stopped taking notes. Because I think I was just like, what am I going to say about this movie? So Ross to Herodin Stan is like, what this? So Ross to Herodin Stan is like, theyrass. Expo-It's like, theyrost. And so, and he's, and he's, and he's, and so, and he's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, thi, thi, so I'm thi, so, so, thi, thi, th. So, th, th, th, I was, I was, I I I was, I I I I was, I I I I I I I I I was, I I I I I I I I, I I was, I I I I, I I I was, I th. So, I th. So, I was. So, I was. So, I was. So, I was like, I was. So, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thin. th th th thin. th th th th th th th th th thin. th th th th thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the fire. So he covers the fire and he's like, what is that? He's like, oh, I don't know. It just happens around Halloween and then the fires explode. According to Wikipedia, it says that engrossed by the wall and the homeless man, he does not notice the wall behind him shift into another world.

And a demonic figure briefly appears. It's so shitty. I have no memory. So if you had looked away to write down play the coasts. Yeah, yeah, it's like but it's like Oh man, it's really bad. It makes Darkness Falls look like M-uh. Yeah, so then his wife sees the scooter right? That's where she sees a scooter like moving around the apartment on its own. We forgot to mention earlier that they reenact the shining scene, but with a scooter. Yeah, he's got the kids like scutering around the apartment. that? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh the th. Oh th. Oh the they. Oh, they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Yeah, th. Yeah, they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.................................. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thact the shining scene but with a scooter. Yeah. He's got the kids like scootering around the apartment. He wasn't going from rug to rug and like doing that awesome sound but it was still like it was just moving. It was totally the shining. Yeah. On a fucking scooter where is it with these scooters in these movies? Oh yeah, 13 goats. Pay the 13 ghosts. If this movie turns out to be directed by the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same. the same. the same. the same. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theoompera. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I I I thi. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It was. It was. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. be directed by the same fucking game. It's not. I looked up the guy who did it because I was like, have you ever seen a horror movie before? Uly Udell?

And he had never seen one. He had never seen a horror movie. Is that what he said? Yeah. I never seen one of them. I know I'm never going to either. So his wife calls him and they sort of like make up because they're sad and they both see and Charlie and they she sort of thinks that something might be going on now I guess. And so he's at her apartment and the power goes out. Is that when he sees the kids burning at the stake? Yes, he's looking outside and he sees the kids burning? Like in the s-yeah, like there's three kids at light on fire and the thoes........... Yeah, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, yeah. And, yeah.. And, yeah. And, yeah. And, yeah. And, yeah. And, yeah. And, yeah. And, yeah. And, yeah. And, yeah. And, yeah. And, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and they. And, yeah, yeah, and so, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and, yeah, and so, yeah, yeah, and so, and so, and so, and so, and he's, and so, and he's, and so, yeah, yeah, yeah, andthey, like, there's three kids that light on fire, and then there's a group of black and white children.

Oh yeah, yeah, the other black and white children. And we're learning from the cop who's doing investigation, and they do their own investigation because they go to a guy's house that the ghost is taking multi-ethnic children. Oh yeah, they go to a Chinese restaurant because all Chinese people fucking work in Chinese restaurants. And the Latino guy who are all drug addicts. Come on, assholes. This is not a fun movie. No. So they have to note the acting in this is but. It is but. It is but. Although, I looked to the awards one for it. All of the awards were won by the child, but I have in my notes that the child was a terrible actor. There's an award? Yeah. Someone got a not for this movie I hope.

Yeah, the child won awards. Oh weird. Not like Academy Awards, you know, pupoo Dick awards. Which is our new awards show and why have we never done an award show called Poo-Dick Awards? And for best butt acting? Yeah. Nominate categories for us to do Poo-Poo-Dick Awards on our Facebook page, EMTs. Because this could be really funny. Oh, maybe, yeah, for the 100th episode we could do Pup-Poo-Dick Awards. We'll think about it, we'll think about it. We're real bad of planning things. You're lucky you've gotten 74 episodes out of us, honestly.

So they invite a Zelda Rubinstein, a medium? They invite a medium. And she's got great shoes. That's the way Mary Jane Pumps. Oh, I liked the only thing I liked about this movie. I like the old-timey Halloween masks. There were some good old-timey Halloween masks. Well, yeah, like there's some burlap. But burlap is scary on its own.

The thing is that they keep going from the burlap to like the scary-eyed phantom. You know what I mean? Agree or disagree. It's the scratchiest fabric. It is. So she is like, oh no, I'm not getting any vibes in this house. And then she looks out the window and smackety-do. The fucking witch shows up and throws her into a wall. She says, it's here, it has all the children. What? What does? You crazy? She's cg-eyed against the wall. I was like, why even bother? What are you doing?

Get a stunt person. They couldn't even hire a stunt person. A stunt person is happy to be thrown against a wall. You know what I mean? They live for it? That's their job. That's literally our job. We watch terrible movies for our job.

Oh, and then we go to work also work also work also work also work also work also work to work to work to work the work the work to work the to work the the to work to work the to work the to work also the th work also tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. I, yeah. I watch TV too. I watch Star Trek Next Generation. It's not really a job. I treat, I treated his one. Data's dick. Oh God, just think about it. How does he get a boner if he doesn't have feelings? You know what I mean? Does he just push a button and it's like, hmm?

I just want to talk to Gene Roddenberry on the phone. I think you might be dead. Yeah, you better get a ghost phone. That's our new movie, Ghost Phone. You can't use this medium, because she's dead. She's dead. She is burned to shit. That scene where they were doing the autopsy on her, it was cool. It was cool. It was cool. She's all burned on the inside. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. That's, thi. thi. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's. G ghost. G ghost. That's. G ghost. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. That's. G. That's. G. G. That's. That's. That's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a. It's a. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. G. It's. G. It's. G. It's. It's. G. It's. G. She's all burned on the inside. Yeah, like her outside skin isn't that burned, but her insides are basically ash, but they're

still in like the forms of her organs, which I thought was, yeah, that was good. She opens her mouth and like smoke comes out. Yeah, that was pretty tok. That was good, actually. So then they go and meet with the note, herself? Oh, that's right. No, it's first when I have the note, Charlie haunting inside his mama. Oh, yeah, because he's talking through her. While she's carving something into your arm.

She's carving a symbol into her arm. Yeah. Which she's like not entirely distressed about when she realizes it? No. She's not like maybe I should get stitches. She's just like, well, she just wants to show it to everybody. Yeah, what does this mean? I don't know, lady, you did it! So she shows it to the beautiful research lady and she's like, oh that's a Celtic symbol of something and then... Feminine-nit-fertil, women? Women's. That they get when they go to the church that every Halloween has the weirdest, I was going to make a Wickerband reference, but you've not seen it yet, so...

I've seen the Nichols Cage version. Abomination. That's where they meet the exposition lady. Yes, where this lady's like, oh, I don't think I can help you. their son was taken on Halloween. She's like, I don't th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, I don't thi, I don't, I don't, I don't, I'm, I don't, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm, I'm, I'm thi, I'm, I'm thi, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was thi, I was, I was thi, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thooooo. thin, thoooomooom. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm She's like, I don't know anything about your son being kidnapped. And they're like, something else. And she's like, children are taken on Halloween to appease the, blah, boo. Fuck you. Nobody's trying.

I wish I was dead. about this woman who is a widow in the 1600s maybe. 1671 is when we first meet the family. Well, we first meet them at the very beginning in 1679. When that came up again, I was like, I completely forgot that scene even happened and then even when you brought it up again now, I was like, oh yeah. Because it's that bad and unmemorable. Why would you explain your crazy-ass theories to some lady doing a weird mock ritual with children? Then show her yourself harm. Oh, luckily she has all the information.

Those are my notes on that scene. Yeah, I mean, that's really, that's the size of it. Like, so this woman in 1670s, Annie, something, blah, blah. Annie's Saquin, very close to Salwin. Oh, right. Yeah. Which is which is is is is is is is is is is a is a is a w is a word is a word is a word is a word is a word is a word is a word is a word is a word is a word is a word is a word is a word is a word is a word is a word is a word. That is a word. That is a word. That is a word. That is a word. That is a word. That's a word. That's a word. That's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's a that's a that's a that's a that's a th. th. the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the th. the the th. that's really. that's really. that's a that's a word they're using in this movie so we know they're aware of it and what it means so it's like not even subtle. She has three children. There's an influenza outbreak. They think she's at fault because she's a witch the villagers do. So they come to kill her and her children. She puts her kids in the basement or the seller, I guess it's not a a basement at that point. There's a little little little little little little little little little little the the the the the th. There's the th. There's th. T is is the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi is is is is is th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. It is thi. It's thi. It's is is thi. thi. It's is is th. It's is is th. It's is is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is thi. I is the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's thee. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's that point. There's a little altar that has the symbol that mom carved into her arm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The villagers are like killing the mom and one of the kids yells out, mother! Because kids are fucking stupid. And they find the kids and they burn them at the stake while she watches. Yeah, and then she curses them and bilingual cursing. Yeah, and then she curses them and bilingual cursing. Yeah. Real Celtic. Because the Irish people are monsters. Yeah.

Sorry about you. So every year on Halloween, she takes some kind of revenge of coming back and taking three children to replace her three children if this portal where the Halloween and the portal dead living closes and opens and it. What if we just did that for the rest of the episode? So the kids have a year to escape is my understanding. Right. One solid year. So they're taking a car and... So the kids have a year to escape, is my understanding.

Right. So they're taking a car and... Who's taking a car? Nicholas Cage and Laurie! Oh right, they're in a cab, they're in a cab. Sorry. I didn't mean to Shelfa. No, it's fine. And vultures, the vultures that have been CGI throughout this movie show up and smash into their windshield and drive the the car off the road. How fast was that cabby going that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he th th th th th th is th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is thatty th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was was th. I was th. I was th. I was. I was. I was. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. t. t. t. t. t. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. I was. I was. t. t. fast was that cabbie going that he couldn't stop for a vulture? And he swears for like two blocks, just hit the brakes, sir. No one never just hits the brakes do they? No, no, no, they hit the gas. So they wreck and then they cut to the scene where, as I have her hear, the hot research lady, she gets killed. She gets thrown out the window. Why? Because she's she's the the the th th th th th th th th th thuing th th thuing thuing th thuing th thui thui th thui thui thui thu' thu' thu' thu' thu' tho- thu' thu' thu' tho- tho- tho' tho' thususus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. that' thate th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the, the, the the the thea theea toeea toeeea toeeeea toeeeeeeeeea theeeeeeeeea the. Oh, she gets thrown out the window.

Why? Because she's doing research and figures something out so. That's her job. She's a professor of stuff. That which lady don't care? Throws out a goddamn window. Poor pretty German lady. You know what the shitty thing is too?

She's never mentioned again. There is, but we'll get to that. Oh, oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, they, tho, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, tho, they, tho, tho, tho, they, they, they, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. She's, th. She's, th. She's, th. She's, th. She, th. She, th. She, th. She, tho, tho, thi. She, thi, thi, thi, thi. She's too, tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, th.. There is but we'll get to that. Oh so so they they show her die and then they cut back to Nicholas Cage and I have the note I have no idea why they're injured I'd forgotten that the car accident. Because they're in an ambulance and I was like oh maybe she's gonna live that was a really far away to drop and live. No, it's a different accident. So he's, him and his wife are injured. They've got to take her, his wife in L'A for x-rays. And she's like, run, go, go, go. And that's, the person you wrote this movie was like, we don't need a lady anymore. Your part here is done.

It's this is men's work now. The only ladies from here on out are going to be evil. Yeah. So he runs back, just runs, just right? He is not a good-looking runner, by the way, just as someone who's also not a good-looking runner. How old is Nicholas Cage at this point in his life? He's like, I cannot even guess. Give me a guess. What would you guess Nicholas Cage's age? All right.

I'm guessing he was have been born in 59? So he'd be like 57? That doesn't sound right to me. How far off am I? He was born in 1964. Well, I was like five years, five years off. All right. He just looks weird whenever he's running. He looks weird whenever he's doing anything, to be fair. The thing is, the dude is a phenomenal actor. He has been incredible in things.

He doesn't freak out in this movie, which I thought was disappointing. I kind of wanted him to do was like, uh, thing, you know, where he just gets all Nicholas Cage and riled up. But he doesn't really do that. He does not. Although, I did read somewhere that he had got so angry on the set of this movie that he like smashed a bunch of prop pumpkins. Oh, really? Yeah. What a weirdo.

Just like imagine being an extra on this movie, and Nickles cage is just freaking yeah I'm getting paid for this. I'm getting sandwiches. So he runs back to the factory where Rasta Herodin Staten is and he's like where do I need to go? How did he know that's where the portal was? The guy told him earlier or somebody told him. Okay well what? Oh no no no. They were like oh this is ancient Irish something of the trading post or whatever was here. And so this would have been here, and he's like, oh, it's right where that building was. So I'm doing his voice much more, much more Elvis than he does.

So he runs back there. And the guy's like, I'll show it to you. Just give me the too, and give, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and, I, and I, and I, and I'll, and he, and he, and he, and he's, and he's, and he's like, I'll just, and he's like, I'll just, I'll just, I'll, and he's like, and he's like, and he's like, and he's like, and he's like, and he's like, and he's like, and he's like, I's, I's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was.............. th. th. It's like, I was. th. th. It's like, th. It's like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Cage in this movie. When he needs information from the Hispanic guy, the guy's like, just give me money. And Nickle's Cage is like, here's a $50 bill. And the homeless guy's like, give me your watch. Nickles Cage is like, I have tenure. I think it watches like, I don't know, cups and then walks for, I don't know, six hours? I don't know, I fell asleep. He goes across a bridge.

I remember being a Lord of the Rings bridge. And that I liked, I like the, I always like the idea of like the, uh, the fantastical coming into like very concrete, real places, like factories and stuff like I think that's neat. So I was like okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, th th the th th th th th th, I'm th, I'm the the the the, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, tho, I'm tho-I tho-I don't tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I, I's neat. Sure. So I was like okay I'm on board with this and he steps off at the end of the steps and he's in a field and there's a house up there the witch's house that he saw in the video camera earlier. Right. And the burlap baby looked at him. Okay so he goes to the house. Did I see the end of the movie? I'm suddenly unsure. It's our job. It's. the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the th. th. the thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the house. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thous unsure. It's our job! All right, right, right, all right. No, because I remember he finds the Chinese girl and the Hispanic boy. Oh, Mia and Pablo? That's, that's, this name is Popla? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, this was an okay scene, I thought. Oh, Christ. So they, he, he just goes in, theyre. there. He just goes in, they. th. He just just just, he just, he just, he. He just, he, he. He just, th. He's, th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, th. th. th. the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. the. th. the. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th down there and there's a million kids in the basement. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. This was an okay scene I thought.

Yeah. And they all are cool costumes. Although, I remember being mad because mathematically she'd only been doing it for 300 years and taking three a year, it wouldn't look like fucking woodstock out there, child would not. It would not. You're right. It looked like child woodstock. I hope they had a party for these kids. They're all dressed up and I hope they had a nice little party for him, but they probably didn't. No. So he manages to find Charlie and Pablo and Mia. Yeah, he finds Charlie and then Mia and Pablo are like, can we come to?

And he's like, I thought he was going to say no for a second, didn't you? Where he's like, escape from him. make it out before the portal closes. Which is very anticlimactic. Very, I have the note, this is so dumb. He's like hanging off a cliff and holding his kid and a kid climbs up and then he climbs up and it's over. Which is fine, like whatever. The amount of upper body strength he'd have to be able to do what he did was insane. He's an academic, so he's a book books. He, I forgot to mention what pay the ghost means. The woman explains to them. Which I have no memory of them saying in the movie, but it's here on this Wikipedia page. The children are burning dolls to pay

the ghost so they won't be taken at the Celtic Halloween celebration. So you pay the ghost by burning a doll? That's the payment the ghost wants? You know. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi the the thi. I'm the the the ghost the ghost the ghost the ghost is the ghost is the ghost is the ghost is the ghost is the ghost is the ghost is the ghost is the ghost is the ghost is the ghost is the ghost is the ghost. the ghost is the ghost. the ghost the ghost. the ghost. the ghost. the ghost. the ghost. the ghost. I the ghost. I the ghost. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I'm thi. I'm the the the the th. the the the the the thea. the the ghost is. the ghost is. the ghost is. the ghost is. the ghost. the ghost. I's. the ghost by burning a doll? That's the payment the ghost wants? You know, I don't know. And I was actually on board with that. I was like, okay, that sounds like a fun tradition. You know, that's nice. But so if Charlie had burned a doll, he would have been fine? I don't know. So you know what I mean?

It's just like darkness falls where once you start picking the folklore the folklore, falls completely apart. I guess you're right. So he just leaves with his kid and takes the kid home. Yeah. And I guess he dropped Mia and Pablo off on the way? Yeah they're gone. They're gone. I don't know. They're gone. And they just runs up to the mom and she's like, oh yeah I've been caught for a year and doesn't feel like because me and I they're gone for year year I don't know what's going on. Here's the thing that I felt wasn't addressed and should have been was that the cop actually like believed that Nicholas Cage had been at fault for this right you know and a lot of things did point to him and then like it's usually the family yeah he shows up with the other two kids like what? What? You definitely are a criminal. You definitely stole those kids.

Because what are they going to say? They don't remember anything. No. Even if they did remember something, what would they say, like, oh, the witch took us and kept us in a room with a bunch of other kids for a year? Nicholas Cage is going to jail. Yeah, I was like, there's no paperwork? There's no meeting with anybody? We're just standing this year? Okay, we're just getting this year. It's just absurd. So the credits start. Yeah, that's the end of the movie. If you watched just a couple minutes into the credits. Why would you do that to yourself? Because I do. Don't you love yourself? Oh, God, no. No, no. I mean, it'll love me. I mean, it'll love me. I mean, it'll love me. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah, that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. That's. That's. I. I. That's. Yeah. I. I. That's. That's. I. That's. That's. That's. I. That's. That's. I. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's they show the hot research lady. Doing what? She's got rebar stuck with her.

She's on like a roof of a building and the vultures are eating her. What? Why would that happen? Why would that happen? She's the witch now? I don't. What? What?

What? I knew that was going to happen. Oh my god, I'm late-headed. Why would she be the witch? She's just a pretty German lady, professor, doctor. I am done. I was so excited because I knew that you wouldn't stick around for the credit. I was like, as soon as you were like, done? Click done? Yeah, so stupid.

Oh my God. Is it repay the ghost? Do you think there's going to be a sequel? God, I hope so. You've got to keep this podcast going. This had like a limited distribution of two. Like literally do you think anyone else has watched this movie? I mean...

Hopefully you have EMTs. You know what, don't though? Like, hopefully you didn't. Because I honestly, sometimes I've watched something terrible and I'm like, ha ha ha, we need them watch this. Like, the happening. Like I look back with fond memories upon the happening? Yeah. Yeah. Now, like, I look back with fun memories upon the happening. I think I need to see it again to remind myself. Because when I think of it, it seems so much better than this.

Interesting. Yeah. So then let's move on to the. Let's call this the berating's phase. Because I would like to berate the people who made this movie. This is just a movie made by someone who doesn't care about horror. No.

I know I said earlier that he'd never seen a horror movie. He saw like five of them. And he got the gist and was like, well, this is how you make it and this is how it. No, that's not it. It is not it. Three. Don't watch it, don't bother. No. It's not even funny. Like some of them are that we've done are at least fun, like happening I think was at least funny. Yeah, it had its moments. I think I gave them a two. And they had mark his mark. Yeah, well that was early. that was early. Yeah, it was th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It had th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's not. It's th. It's not. We still don't know what the spectrum is. No, it's all arbitrary.

Yeah, I would give it a three as well. It's garbage. Don't watch this. It's not even fun, Nicholas Cage. It's not the bees, the bees, the bees. It's bad. It's just all around. It's none, none fucks were given. Literally the best line in the movie is the cop saying that they're looking for the child in Arizona. My favorite thing in the movie, as you guys know, every movie I watch with the caption song,

because I'm 197. How did you miss that? I don't know. All right, you've been taking a note about something else. It's whenever the ghost flew by anything, it said ghost woosh. Oh yeah. So three, don't watch this garbage. I mean just don't. No. Take our word. I'm sure you guys take our word for it right. Yeah, but I know that some people will, you know, they've gotten this far in and they probably would have watched it. I don't know. If you did. I'm sorry. If you watch the whole thing I'm sorry. But if you watch the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first th. th. th. th. th. th. the first th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. three. the. three. the. three. the. three. the. the. the! If you watch the whole thing, I'm sorry, but if you watch the first half and got out, I say,

kudos to you. That's a lot of notes. Yeah, I take a lot of notes. I'm a note guy, like the notes. Yeah, you know what else I like Katie? What? Doing? the of me shaking it. You hear that? Is it okay? Yeah, it's coming through.

All right, you open it. You want me to open it? Yeah, well, you're the one with the knife. Oh, no, I preak up this one for you. You know I get upset sometimes when you just flip it out of nowhere. I know. The knife. Yeah, just thing that came weeks ago. And the Irish bad guys of the world.

There's a thing called Parcel of Terror, which our friend Jason from the Alien episode, which you should go back and listen to. He makes these things called the Parcel of Terror. And every, it's a subscription box. And every month you get this awesome stuff. And I believe this is this is thiiiii this awesome stuff. And I believe this is the Freddy Kruger box. Yeah, this is the Nightmare on Elm Street box. So this month's parcel of terror includes, soul pizza wall plaque, I love soul food,

as seen in part four, the dream master. Freddy's victim's souls can be trapped, seen trapped as horrific topings on this hellish pizza. Cast in solid resin and individually hand painted, It comes ready to hang with attached metal, that's. This is joyous. Fuck, that's delightful. It's a full pizza, it's got some pepperones, and it's got some souls. And it's amazing. I want to make a flavor-flave necklace out of it. Wear that as a pendant medallion.

That's awesome, Jason. That is so cool. Jason hand paints all thanks. things himself. They're insane. He molds them and then I don't understand. What's he doing? It's a magician. Eight bit Freddie sticker, a high quality pearl finished eye cut sticker of Freddy as he appears in the 1990 NES game from LJN, produced from original artwork printed by two crowns. That's amazing. I never played that game but I bet it was fucking impossible because all of the Nintendo games based on movies were so hard. The hardest game I've ever played is the Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom game. New Nightmare, Freddie Slash or Magnet. Miss Me?

The darker and more visceral manifestation of Freddy Kruger from West Craven's 1994 film New Nightmare. Thirteenth in our series of exclusive slasher magnets available only through the parcel of terror. Oh, that's great. Yeah, that's really cool looking. I also sort of like new nightmare. It's really bad. I've never seen it. It's basically Heather Langan Camp as Heather Langen Camp. Oh, you told me about this.

Yeah. We watched on Halloween this year. It was pretty delightful. Snake, Freddie's serpentine form from part. the dream warriors, cast and solid resin and individually hand-painted. You have no idea how hard it is for me not to sing the docken song to you right now. I don't know why you're stopping yourself. Go for it. It's really cool looking though. The vendor, or the pin is really awesome.

Yeah, it's amazing. Man of your dreams print. Everyone's favorite dream invading, Trevor. That's really awesome. Trevor's stuff is to to to to to the to to to the to tha. tha. thii. thi. to to th. th. to to th. th. thi. I is to. I is to. I's to. I's to to to the to to the to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the true. I. true. the the the the the the the the the tom. the the the tom. the tom. tom. tom. tom. to to work at Trevor Henderson dot format dot com. Ah! That's really awesome. Trevor stuff is fantastic. Yeah I really like that. Daydreamer a short tale inspired by the nightmare on Elm Street series by Cryptocareum guest creator Ken James. I guess that's in this little envelope here. We're not gonna read it. That's copyright infringement. Oh yeah that's cool. You little story. That's copyright infringement. Oh yeah, that's cool. You little story.

A little story. That's awesome. I love a story. And finally, the chest of souls print. The trapped souls of Freddy's victims escape as he is defeated at the end of the Dream Warriors. Created by Cryptocurium guest artist Brandon Zimmerman, see more of Brandon's work at miserarium.com. That's really cool too. That's insane. This is an awesome box. Hopefully you're a subscriber and you've gotten this. Jason, thank you so much for sending this to us. Guys, if this is not yours, you're jealous. And don't be jealous.

This pizza black is worth the price of admission. Yeah, it really is. We should put that on Instagram. You can do that because you have a phone and access to our Instagram account. I forgot the password. So you can get this at Cryptocurium. Yeah, 35 bucks a month. Just get it. Just get it. Get it.

Get in there. It'll be. You'll be. And support your friends yet because they'll become your friends. Yeah, listen to the alien episode, see how rad Jason is. Support him. You know Rad dude. All right, what do we do next week? Next week we are doing a guest episode. We'll be joined by our friend Colleen. To talk about the Indonesian film from 2012? The ritual or just ritual? Just ritual. And it's also called modus anomaly. It's one of those ones you can rent on Hulu or Amazon. I don't know if

you can rent on Hulu. I think you just get it. Yeah you're paying for a whole week which I was pretty psyched about. Yeah, seven-day rental. Yeah. Is that the standard? No, I don't think so. Just for movies that they know no one's going to watch it. the their. their. their. their. their. to. their. to. to. to. to. their. to. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their. Yeah. their their their their their their their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the the the their. I the the the the the the te. I'm te. I'm te. the the the the the the the the th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the their think so. Just for movies that they know no one's going to watch. But you watch it. You should watch it because we're going to spoil it. So definitely watch it. Just like we did pay the ghost. Yeah, but I didn't suggest anyone watch that. I do want to... Actually, I did. I'm sorry.

You guys can find us on Facebook. Like these awesome people have. Thank you to Jacob M. Jackson, Stephanie Malone, Alexandra Hill, and Lauren Zeno for interacting with us on the Facing Books. Facing books. You can find us on Instagram, like these awesome people have. See mayhem. It's a good name. It's a great name.

It's a great name. It's like a bummed that one, Sagan. Jonathan Martel Art, Jonathan Martel Art. I don't know, it's all one word. Probably Jonathan Martel Art. And Jonathan Martel Art. It's all one word. And J.P. Collins. And you can find this on Twitter, but I didn't write anybody's names down from that.

But th thanks for people the people th for people th for people th for people th down from that. But thanks for people on Twitter too. Thanks to Twitter. Thank you Twitter and Jen Scott and all some people are always interacting with us on there and KK Downing. I just I just look at it and I'm like ooh. It's pretty much how I look at the internet I'm sorry. Yeah thanks for interacting with us and thanks for leaving us reviews on iTunes. They help, they help people find this and help us grow. Help us grow. I want to be bigger. We're a little flower. You can water us and nurture us and say nice things about us. Speak kindly to me. What? What? You can find us all over the internet. I did a Google search to see how many places we appear on how many websites. We have like 18 websites. Yeah. We're just filling Google. We're trying to hit Google's

Max. Google Max. We're going to take away from Kim Kardashian. As being... Someone has to. Someone has to. And it's going to be us. Yeah, once my butt hits the internet, it's going to ruin everything. You guys are awesome. Thank you so much. And th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. thi. the the tho tho th. the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeateateat. to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. their their their gonna ruin everything. You guys are awesome. Thank you. Yeah, thank you so much. And thanks for seeing to another episode of Wearable Ambulance. Bye.