What Now? with Trevor Noah - If I Ruled the World: Careful What You Think [VIDEO]
Episode Date: April 24, 2025The world’s a bit of a mess right now – maybe Trevor, Christiana, and Josh can come up with some fixes. It’s another If I Ruled the World episode. This week’s suggestions are… intimate? Thei...r rulings are infiltrating your screens, bedrooms, and minds. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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USA, Salt Lake City branch, member FD Trevor, because I don't think I ever have. Right? So I really do. I really do.
I don't want it. Because you know, people hit me up, they're like, stop bullying Trevor.
And I'm like, I'm not bullying him. He's just like, he says crazy stuff.
So as my friend and my brother, I want to support you and your ideas.
This is What Now with Trevor Noah.
You ready to rule the world?
Of course. Always am. Living.
Welcome to my favorite game, If I Ruled the World.
As I tell both of you, and anyone who'll listen,
my dream is to be a dictator of a very small nation,
of a group of people who...
not wanted me to be a dictator, but they were like,
yeah, this sounds like a cool idea.
So I didn't like take power from them.
It just was the way it was.
Okay.
And yeah, I always think of what I would do to make my world perfect.
And that's why I play this game.
I feel like Josh has come in...
Because last time you weren't happy with how we ran, if I ruled the world.
He felt a bit scammed up on? Or what was that?
No, you know, I think I was more like...
I always come to if I ruled the world, like I ruled the world, like this should work.
So then when y'all hit me with things I didn't think about I feel like I'm not really ruling the world
I feel like my plans are falling apart
so I get a little vindictive because I'm like I
You asked me what do I rule the world you didn't tell me to plug up all the holes in my life
But remember you have to vote. That's the game.
Yeah.
If I ruled the world, each of us takes the role of magnanimous dictator slash world leader slash king slash
God person. We change the world in any way that we want. However, you have to win the votes of the other two people.
We also ask everyone who listens to the show if they want to submit ideas and then we vote
on them.
So let's go through some of the suggestions.
Now I haven't seen any of these so I don't know.
All right, let's see.
If I rule the world, listener suggestions.
Here we go.
This is from Rebecca.
Rebecca says, if I rule the world, I would make it mandatory for world leaders to spend
an hour creating art and it can be anything, drawing, painting, ceramics, glass blowing, before they make any critical decisions on important matters, such as military action,
immigration, environmental policies, etc. Absolutely not. No? That's what George W. Bush is
doing now, is making art. That means some really dark stuff is going down if you have to make art.
But I feel like he's doing it in reverse. He already killed all the people and now he doing it.
Okay, that's true.
I think I would vote for this because I think that one of the most humbling things in the world
is like doing an art that you don't do and then try to look like an expert in the same day.
You know what I mean?
Like if you're like, hey, y'all, we have have to invade but then the people just saw you and they were like
bitch you can't draw.
How you gonna let us get killed and you can't draw?
You have a like you have this.
So the failure.
Okay I like this.
So yours is A?
I am a yes for this.
Christiana.
No.
You're a no.
Yeah I'm playing.
I like it but I'm a no.
And I was a yes until Josh said his.
I'll tell you why, Rebecca.
No, because now I actually agree with Josh.
But like, I think men are...
We have like the most sensitive egos.
Oh, yeah.
So if you like fail at the pottery, you might invade a country to show how good you actually are.
Oh, yeah.
So I agree with you Josh actually.
But I think the other, so it's a no for me.
Sorry Rebecca.
Fabian says, if I ruled the world,
I would prohibit political careers.
Everyone should have an occupation outside of politics.
Government positions are a one time thing and temporary.
These positions should be considered a rare occasion
to serve the nation.
I vote yes immediately.
I also vote yes because you really wanna go out
like an all star.
Yeah, I mean, some of these people start their political career and they're saying all the right stuff
But then you could tell after like three years they're like beat down and they tried to pass the same thing
Yeah, you have to be and get cynical. Yeah, they get cynical and then 15 years later. They're like so
It's like what do you mean? So you don't even have to be there. Yeah, no career politicians
I agree. Well done Fabian. You just got three yeses. Wow, that's a good one.
All right, Senna says,
if I ruled the world, I would change the curtains in fitting rooms at stores
to something that provides a little more coverage
because there always remains a very peek-through-able gap.
And those two curtains have never fully met.
Huh.
This is very specific.
This is super specific, Senna.
Senna, did you, did someone spy on you?
This is wild.
I feel like this is a complaint for a department store, not like a suggestion for...
It's also like if you ruled the world.
Imagine you have all the power in the world, and you use it to make the curtains in dressing rooms.
Can I tell you right now, this person is having a good life.
Because they were like, if I ruled the world, I really wouldn't change anything. the curtains in dressing rooms. Can I tell you right now, this person is having a good life.
Because they were like, if I ruled the world,
I really wouldn't change anything.
Except for this one thing.
I mean, yes, because it's not a big deal.
Yeah, I vote yes.
I'm not against it.
I don't see any.
Yeah, honestly, to vote against it,
low key makes it seem like you like peaking.
So I'm also gonna vote yes.
Alright so um Sena you got three yeses. Julie says if I ruled the world I would have government
funded monthly barbecues in every neighborhood. Huh. I don't trust the government to buy my
meat. Well they're funded it's just funded. So I guess they'll just pay for you can go
and buy your meat wherever you like. I've got so many questions like do we have to show up to the barbecues? Who's doing the grilling? There's always someone It's just funded. Oh, it's just funded. So I guess they'll just pay for you. You can go and buy your meat wherever you like. I've got so many questions. Like, do we have to show up to the barbecues?
No, it's just government funded.
Who's doing the grilling? Who's doing the grilling?
There's always someone to do the grilling.
The neighborhood I live in, I don't know if I'd want the people to make me meat.
Look, can I tell you right now, this feels like a bureaucratic way to get at the cookout.
Yeah, dude. You know what I mean? I know infiltration when I see it. Okay, this is Cointel Pro.
Okay, ultra.
Oh man, that's funny.
Yeah, yeah.
I like the sentiment though, because she's trying to get people together.
Yes, yes, Julie's trying to get people together.
So I vote yes, because the heart is in the right place.
Okay.
I also vote yes.
The Cointel Pro was a joke.
I do think that there's a there's a world where using
government funds to build community is what government should be for. Yes, okay.
I do like the idea. Okay, I'm gonna go no because I think people eat too much
meat already. All right, Ben comes in and says if I rule the world there should be
fast lanes and slow lanes on the sidewalk. I'm just gonna go no,
because that doesn't work on the highway.
People are just gonna walk where they walk anyway.
And then who decides what fast is?
Because you don't have a speed,
you don't have a speedometer on you as a person.
What is fast?
What is slow?
I think that fast and slow is dictated
by the local community.
Like, because then they measured the steps of people
in New York versus people in Portland.
Yes.
And it's like, by and large, all New Yorkers walk faster than all people in Portland.
So it's like, I think everyone starts to figure it out once you set those lanes up.
The real problem is there's actually not enough sidewalk to go around.
Because you got to go this way and this way, and you have to do it fast and slow.
I don't know.
That's four lanes of sidewalk. And then you got someone go this way and this way and you have to do it fast and slow. I don't know. That's four lanes a sidewalk.
Then you got someone like screaming at you, it is the fast lane buddy.
Like how fast are you walk?
What is, I don't know.
I'm sorry Ben for me it's a no.
Yeah it's a no for me.
It's getting real ableist right now.
Yeah it's like walks already you know.
Look Ben I will tell you though if you're trying to make your own fast lane,
just walk with your fists out.
People get out the way.
All right and then the last one comes from Charles who says, make your own fast lane, just walk with your fists out. People get out the way.
All right, and then the last one comes from Charles, who says, cars should have more than just a turn signal.
There should be a little LED sign
where you can send a short message to another driver,
like, my bad, I didn't mean to cut you off,
or your wipers are on, or move over.
Wow, Charles, you are setting yourself up
for Mad Max levels of fury on the road.
You're gonna write messages on people's lights.
See, I would be like, sometimes I'm in the car, I'm like,
oh my god, I like her hairstyle.
And I'd love to be able to say it, but they can't hear me.
If I could say it with my lights, that'd be amazing.
You realize people are now catcalling from their cars.
I never, I didn't even cross my mind.
Because there's gonna be guys who are like,
I like your hair style. Nice hair. I've been following you for a few blocks. Yeah, that's 100% it. There's gonna be guys who are like, I like your hair, nice hair.
I've been following you for a few blocks.
Hey, what's your number?
I don't see a baby seat in that backseat.
You know, I think it would be a bit rough because they would all have to be pre-planned.
So we'd have to figure out like four or five messages you could send.
No, you could have a dynamic one.
You could just have like a dot matrix that displays the...
You could just say it and it would just show it.
I just don't think that's a good idea.
It's bad enough that we already have...
Like, I don't think...
And how would people like read the light?
That's what I'm saying.
I'm just saying this is trouble.
I mean, we're getting towards that self-driving,
so you're gonna have to do something.
I hear you, but it's a no for me.
Yes, a no for me too. I mean mean probably a no because I don't understand it but yeah.
I feel like that's what people in congress say every week. Yeah I'm gonna vote no on this
because I don't understand it. I don't really get it. But yeah. All right now for the big rounds.
Alright, now for the big rounds. So who wants to go first? Josh, Christiana? I'm willing to go as well. Can we like do a coin toss or pull?
Oh, just go like rock, paper, scissors?
Oh, so Christiana, I beat Josh. Christiana beats that person. You beat me.
Josh beat me and you beat Josh. So I go first.
Okay, fine.
Then Josh second.
Okay, let's go. Christiana.
Okay. I didn't think I'd lose the game of randomness.
I don't think you lost.
Okay. Here we are. Okay. If I ruled the world, I would designate mandatory reality TV for everyone
over 18 for one hour a week. You can pick whichever show you like,
but you have to watch a reality TV show.
You have to watch it?
You have to watch a reality TV show.
Okay, now you've roped me in. Why?
Because I actually think reality TV is where so much of real life is playing out
that actually like narrative TV doesn't have at the moment.
Like, reality TV, you see lots of older women
grappling with things like alcoholism or divorce or cancer,
and you see couples going through nursing somebody who's ill,
or then you see somebody that, like, just killed their wife,
or, like, different races, different classes, socioeconomic groups.
It's like a very good picture into the country you live in, in a way that
often people are very siloed in their like media consumption rather, you know,
Fox News is one thing and MSNBC is another thing.
You can watch the Real Housewives of New York, Atlanta, Beverly Hills.
You don't know who is a Republican.
You don't, I is a Republican. I fell
in love with a woman and it turns out she's a big Trump, but now I'm in love with her.
So it's like, there's no going back. And it helps you see the humanity in people that
you would otherwise not see and get to know people that you probably don't come across
in real life. It could be like you're watching a show about the Duggar family that it's not
on air anymore. And you're like, oh oh I'm learning about like evangelical Christians who have all of these children or the Real Housewives of
Lake City is set in Mormon Utah. But wait, but people can choose the reality show?
So what if everyone's just choosing a show that teaches them nothing? No, you'd be randomly assigned the show.
Okay so you don't know what show it is and you have to watch it. Yeah you have to do it.
It's like your service. You have to be engaged, you can't be on your phone.
I mean you can be on your phone. I think a great thing about the reality show experience
is that a lot of people tweet, live tweet when they're watching it
and they're covering it on Instagram and stuff.
So if you want to connect with other viewers via social media, that's great.
And you wouldn't just make people watch a documentary once a week?
No way, because documentaries are so boring.
You got all those talking heads. They're like, oh my God, and there's statistics.
I hate documentaries.
Oh my God.
And especially the vanity documentaries when you've like basically got access to the person.
So nothing bad comes up.
So no, not documentary.
Let me tell you right now, documentaries have that thing.
They're starting to get that thing where there's a real wrestling match going on with like,
we want to tell you a story, but also don't make make me look bad but also you have to give us enough stuff. I'll tell you right now
there's a one of the most incredible soccer players female soccer players of all time Hope
Solo has an incredible documentary out and I really love the documentary because it I felt like it gave
me everything while still like not protecting her but but like shielding us a little bit from things
that would make us judge her harshly.
But there is one point in it that I really liked
where they had her talking about being like the real like
rabid, we need to get up to this level type person
on the team, like the Jordan of the team.
And they use the B-roll and you could tell the B-roll,
she was cursing the shit out of those girls.
But they didn't play that B-roll
because they probably knew it would make her look
something like that.
And she was already telling us that's what she was doing
without saying the words.
So she's like, I could be tough on my teammates, right?
But in the B-roll, it's her being like...
It's like coaching while she's playing. And so I get what you're saying, where it's like coaching while she's playing and so I get what you're saying.
Yeah, no documentary.
The documentary has a filtered nature that reality TV doesn't have.
And people on reality TV are by and large the most shameless human beings on the planet.
They are so shameless.
So you think reality TV has become more genuine than documentaries in many ways?
It shows so much truth.
Like, for instance, if you watch The Real Housewives of Potomac right now, Karen Huger is in prison
for a DUI.
This is a black woman, she called herself the Grand Dame, very sophisticated, upper-crust
black woman.
Yeah.
Who you didn't even believe was capable of getting drunk and being sloppy.
That's the image she put out there.
And in my personal life, I've been talking about black women and alcoholism.
I'm like, I know a lot of black women who drink a lot.
But it's not something that we talk about publicly,
it's in our group chats or whatever,
we're seeing it play out at brunch.
Karen is showing this mirror to these experiences.
Then there's lots of people that go to prison for like stuff like a lot of
fraud, like insurance fraud and like the time of griftory things that you have these people
in these affluent suburbs that do to get their money.
That I think is a very American story, but you don't necessarily talk about.
So yeah, you get kind of these shameless people who are a bit narcissistic, who are craving
fame or attention when I think a lot of people want attention
in this country. And it makes you fall in love with people that you never thought you'd
fall in love with, who are very different from you.
And shameless people are sometimes the most honest. Shameless people do the same. They
do things for the same reasons that we do them, but we either rationalize or like, like
rationalization is sort of lying to yourself about it, but then
there's also the lying to the world about like, no, no, no, I did for this reason where a shameless
person is like, I was trying to get the money. I'm trying to, I got a plug. Yeah. Why would I not
get the money? And it will help you understand Trump. Oh, okay. Yeah. Because people have never
understood Trump. But you think reality TV helps people understand Trump more.
Yeah, because he is a product.
I think he is a product of reality TV.
He is.
He was a type of person that would go in reality TV.
A lot of his facade comes from The Apprentice.
Like, if you watch Trump pre-Apprentice,
watch him in interviews, watch him as a person,
he doesn't have the exact same vibe to him,
you know, like post-Apprentice.
I think because on The Apprentice, they were like, no, you got to do this, you're fired!
And they gave him the catchphrases and the look.
And I think he just sort of adopted that character.
And he became...
Yeah, I can see that.
You know, when you first said that, I was firmly a no.
I was like, this is a crazy idea.
But I think you've won me.
I think, one, because I think you've given a good
justification but two I just think we need to share more experiences as people so if
everyone is watching a show weekly everywhere in the world I do like that everyone tomorrow
has something to connect around.
In the office.
Yeah.
I think we need more collective view and more collective, you know what I mean? So I'm gonna vote yes to reality TV.
One hour every week forced upon you.
Yeah, and I think it sparks conversation you would normally have to go to a very serious place to have.
Like I find that like watching Love Is Blind or watching Love Island gets like,
Sally and I talking about relationships
in a way that's like fun because of what they're doing.
That has nothing to do with us.
Cause if I just walk in the apartment cold
and I'm like, what do you think about like
when people don't know how to talk about cheating
in their past?
It's like we're having a very different conversation now.
Cause then now you can't convince a person you don't mean you.
But then when we watch someone on Love Island,
it is a nice year.
Be like kind of that, that like, that like,
It's a great catalyst.
Yeah, exactly.
And it helps yield moments like Trevor was saying,
where it's like very quickly,
one of my favorite reality TV moments of all time
is on Love and hip hop Hollywood
Yeah, when these two women were arguing and you know how they get them drunk
They get them and they go to an event but no one at the event but them there's no event
And then they get to the event and they're drunk and they're arguing and those is one woman who had slept with this other woman's
Friends man and so she was trying to tell her like you should value yourself more
It's like don't tell me to value myself
I've got myself just like he's hitting my phone blah blah blah.
And they're going back and forth, back and forth.
Then the woman whose event it was, she like clearly has been drinking too much
all day and she throws up and the other woman goes, they're about to fight.
And the other woman goes, did you just throw up?
And that is the realest moment I think I've ever seen.
Like forget the cameras for a second to forget everything.
Pause everything. Did just pause everything.
Did you just throw up?
And like, she almost asked, are you okay?
But then the other girl who just threw up
was trying to save face, like, yeah,
you got so much plastic surgery,
it makes me sick to my stomach,
so you made me throw up.
She was like, oh, okay, then that's what we're doing.
All right, fine.
But like, that moment, I was like,
that's a real person.
Yeah.
So I vote yes.
Yeah, and also I was going to say, I know you both voted yes.
I should mention, 90 Day Fiance, fascinating look into immigration.
Oh yeah.
All these, you're not wrong about it.
Yeah, all of these.
You're not wrong.
It is a crude look into many issues that, as Josh says so eloquently,
we wouldn't get into otherwise.
I like it.
It's a yes.
Well done.
Thank you guys.
Wow.
Yeah.
Just kicked it off with a double yes. Yeah, wow. That's great. I think this is my's a yes. Well done. Wow. Just kicked it off with a double
yes.
Yeah, wow. That's great.
I think this is my first double yes, maybe my second.
Yeah. I feel like you're the only person I voted for though. I feel like I definitely
vote against Trevor every time.
Everyone votes against me.
Yeah.
Everyone votes against me.
We're going to continue this conversation right after this short break.
Okay, so I'll go and this is more playing God a bit than just like a government mandate if I rule the world as a dictator. I love it, Josh. Thank God. God, Josh. If I ruled the world,
If I ruled the world, I would make it actually hurt to be stupid. So, like, if somebody is willfully ignorant, because let me pitch you this, right?
Let me pitch you this.
Get ready.
Because I think you're against me now and you'll be with me in a second.
I'm not even against you.
We're going to let you land.
I'm absorbing this. I'm not against you.
I'm in shock right now.
Because if you are someone who in spite of everything that you know and everything you've been told,
is like, you know what? I'm gonna stick a fork in the socket.
And you stick the fork in the socket, it hurts you.
Because your dumb idea ended up getting you hurt.
It costs you nothing to tell everyone else in the room who is impressionable to put a fork in the socket
Okay, if you
Just by saying and knowing it's wrong put a fork in the socket. It's essentially Pinocchio
But with pain, you know, you know that you're being willfully ignorant
You know that you're lying, you know that and so I wouldn't put my hand on the lever
I wouldn't be controlling how much... But you would have to have some actual barrier
because it costs people nothing to spread misinformation
and it costs people nothing to like lead people for the sake of manipulation
in a way that is like willfully dumb.
Do you know what I mean?
I don't mean people who don't know things yet.
That's okay, this is the clarification I think I'm getting.
So you're not saying people who quote unquote are stupid.
You're not saying that.
You don't mean somebody whose aptitude may not be at the level that...
No.
No, this is not what you're saying.
You're saying if somebody does or says something that they know is stupid and they're just
doing it to either act the fool or drive people in the wrong direction or...
But you know now.
Can you give me like more concrete examples?
Alex Jones will be in constant pain.
That's what I mean.
Someone who like, like for every,
cause what Alex Jones does that's particularly insidious
is that he plays on things where
whenever it's the right time
and he's on the right podcast, he's an entertainer.
And he's somebody who's just like, who's just like taking the piss he's somebody who's just like yeah just like taking the piss out of everything
yeah but then then when when it's just you and Alex and you I mean an
impressionable person who really feels like downtrodden and you don't know who's
to blame or if it's your fault or whatever Alex is taking advantage of
those people he's catering to people who need something to blame that's like physical and they can get out there and they can like
attack that person, which is why you have like Alex Jones fans like spitting on and
following and harassing people who are families of victims of school shootings.
Right. Yeah.
But it's like Alex, and look, if he doesn't know,
then it actually wouldn't hurt that much,
but he knows, he knows what he's doing,
and he knows when he's lying.
I used to wonder if Alex was like this crazy person,
or if he genuinely is this grifter
who knows what he's saying is false,
because the two things that made me feel like,
oh no, he knows what he's doing,
is any time on the rare occasions that he me feel like, oh no, he knows what he's doing, is anytime on the rare occasions
that he is like right about something,
he then uses that to leverage 19 other things
that have nothing to do with that thing.
Oh yeah, but that's the conspiracy theorist move.
Then when the lawyer for the families
who were suing Alex Jones over Sandy Hook,
when that lawyer said,
you have such an incompetent counsel that they accidentally sent me your
text messages.
I sent that to the court saying, hey, I don't think they meant to send me this.
So it entered into discovery.
Then I let your counsel know that they had sent me this thing and they didn't respond.
So now I have all your text messages where you're saying that you know that these things
aren't true. And Alex's's face a crazy person would be
like that didn't happen or whatever yeah yeah yeah so now I know that you're like
that's why he lost the case right that's why I have that massive judgment against him
and so that's what I mean I like it's one of those things where kind of okay
but this oh before you go in the pain mm-, I think I get where you're going with this
and I may be able to follow.
I think it needs a bit of refinement.
Are you open to refinement?
Yeah, open to refinement.
All right, let's go.
Maybe I'd be in pain if I wasn't.
So I feel like you may be conflating
being willfully dumb and maybe being malicious
or maybe being opportunistic.
I think we're talking about different things.
I see what you're saying.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because like, some people are willfully ignorant
but not necessarily malicious intent.
Like you can be willfully ignorant and you can share it.
You can be like, you don't need vaccines, drink celery juice,
but that's not coming from a malicious place.
You think you're-
I think Josh wants pain for those people as well.
Yeah, they actually think they're being helpful.
But what you're describing-
They think they're being helpful, yeah.
What you're describing with Alex Jones-
But the pain would clear it up for them,
is what you're saying.
Because this is my only pitch,
where I'm like, you can vote with me or against me,
I won't hold it against you past today.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. The world that I'm proposing sans the actual pain
is the world that we live in.
So you can go and tell people to do all these things
and like, you know that they're not true
and you're not actually helping anybody
or you think it's true and then you see people hurt
and what, but that is the world we live in.
It just takes longer and it depends on if you see the pain or not.
You don't, you become president, right?
You become president and you fear for your life every day because I already shot at you
once.
I think that like, in my opinion, most people really aren't getting away with anything in
the long run of things.
This is a very karmic view of the universe.
It really is actually.
Really, like Buddhist principle
I just feel like
Since we're already not getting away with anything
It might as well be immediate to be your own version of correction because if I'm if I'm the guy holding the fork and I
Put in there. I'm like, oh, it's immediate. It's not worth it. I'm not gonna do it again
How would they feel the pain who administers it like this is what I think I want to know more about the pain
I think it would be a different pain Josh. I think it would be as different. Who brings the pain, Josh?
I think it would be as different as the person.
So for instance, I think that like, if I'm sitting down with Christiana and I'm like,
look, let me tell you what the third trimester is like.
I might slow down if my nose just starts bleeding a little bit.
Do you have it?
This is so dystopian.
It really is.
Josh, we sent Josh away.
We were like, Josh, you're too nice.
And Josh went away and he read every like Orwellian novel vibe thing he could.
And Josh was like, oh, I will show you.
Because this is damn.
Okay.
Another question.
If somebody is like determined in their willful stupidity
and they're constantly feeling pain,
does it get to a point where they die?
No, I don't think so.
So you still have the same life expectancy.
You still have the same life expectancy.
I think a physical representation of the thing now
is there are those people that are like very like crunchy,
hippie and everything and they drink silver
because they're like, no.
They drink silver? Yeah, they drink silver. I've not heard about that.
And so they're like no if I drink the silver I won't need like a list of things that are actually
like not that invasive and just like medically uh. Because of its antibacterial qualities.
Yeah silver's great but I didn't know people were drinking it.
It's like it's like they will turn a little bit blue you'll see it on them.
Yes. And they will look like what they're going through Yes. And they look like what they're going through.
Yeah, they'll look like what they're going through and they'll still be sick because you just drink
a silver. You didn't like go to the hospital. Yeah. I mean, and I think that that version is like
kind of almost the thing that I'm proposing now where it's like you're not walking around like,
ah, ah, but I do think if you're, if you're sitting there and you know, you know, but because of like whatever biases you have,
like I watched this documentary with someone
who had left the neo-Nazi movement,
and he said that the entire time I was in there,
the entire 20 years that I was a neo-Nazi,
I spent all of my days and most of my life rationalizing.
Because I was constantly being bombarded with things
that showed me the world was not the way
that I had both been told it was
and was telling myself that it was.
And so I'm like, yeah, you're already in pain
to a certain degree, because now this like,
black neighbor that you have has been incredibly nice to you
and mowed your lawn and everything.
And now you're like.
But you feel like they should have gotten that pain earlier.
100%.
And physically. Yeah, yeah, because now he's over here, he's this neo-Nazi who was whooping
ass for 20 years and I was like, but I've changed. He's like, that's great, I'm glad, but man, maybe
if your head hurt a little bit while you were like rationalizing. What age does the pain thing start?
I think it starts when your brain stops developing. That way everybody gets you know, their little fair share. Like if you're a kid, like you
wouldn't even understand the pain if they gave you the pain. Yeah, okay.
You wouldn't even know what's happening. Okay. You know? I think I'm going to vote no. Only because I don't think we have a clear idea of who
is or isn't being stupid in society and in life. And I know it's a bit of a cop out,
but it's I think it's true. And I think while like Alex Jones is like an almost easy example,
I think there's some examples where people will feel pain for the wrong reason at the wrong time,
and then it might shut down something that's a smart idea.
Like maybe there's someone who's like, hey, the earth is round,
we need to sail the other way long before everyone else is saying it.
And then they're like, ah, and then they don't do it.
Or someone doesn't invent electricity or I just, I'm worried about that.
Yeah, it stops.
But I will say this, I love the, as Christiana said, I love the comic side of what you're
saying.
I do think it would be great if people experience the ramifications of their actions a lot sooner.
However, I just worry that even in our finite understanding of what isn't, isn't stupid,
at the time that we're processing it,
we might put a lot of good people in pain
who might not do something that was necessary for us
because they were like, I don't want the pain.
And I think pain also stops people from exploring something
that might seem stupid at the time that they're going to say it,
but then isn't later.
And you know, I do love the idea but I'm gonna vote no
unfortunately. Before you vote okay I will say I'm not talking about
imagination and I'm not talking I'm talking about I'm not even having the my
hand on the lever okay you know what's a lie and you keep telling it to people
and that gives you a headache huh I think is... And so I get everything that you're saying.
And I don't expect you to change your vote.
But now let me ask you one question.
What if somebody is lying to like...
Let's say there's a government out there that's a dictatorship.
And then the police come knocking on the door trying to take your family away.
And then you lie to the military police.
Do you feel pain?
Oh no, a lie...
I'm talking about a lie that is like willful ignorance.
I'm still not talking about having an imagination or a lie to like protect someone's feelings.
You know what I mean?
Okay.
Like if somebody's like...
It's only something where you believe the opposite completely and you are doing it...
It's really only like...
It's really only like this. Yeah, it's really only like the slightly,
slightly to very malicious spread of misinformation or disinformation. I'll change my vote to
yes. I did not see that coming. I'll change my vote to yes. Oh Josh. Yeah, wow. No, no,
no, no. Can you clear that? I'll change my vote to yes. Okay. So as somebody who recently
gave birth and has given birth without drugs and has a very high pain threshold.
I 3D printed a human through my vagina, Josh, and I was nine months pregnant.
I think you underestimate how, and then there's people that live with chronic pain,
how pain can kind of just become ambient. I think you're describing very damaged people right now.
I think Alex Jones needs to do a lot of spiritual work,
not to like, psychologize him,
but like, this is a very damaged person.
And there are certain types of people that,
A, have a high pain threshold,
are used to chronic pain, pain is always ambient,
and there are some people who thrive off pain.
I forgot about the boners. There are people who thrive off pain. I forgot about the boners.
There are people who thrive off pain.
Yeah, yeah, nope, you're right.
I know this woman called Laura Chekoway,
she made this great documentary called Lucky
about this girl who I think lives in the Bronx
and she's like really charismatic and beautiful
and she's covered in tattoos, right?
Yeah.
And she says in the documentary,
see I shat it on documentary,
but that's
actually a really good documentary. She says, they were like, why do you have all these
tattoos on your face? And she'd had a really tough life. And she says, I can't really locate
the pain I feel emotionally. So every time I get a tattoo, I can feel the pain physically.
Oh, damn.
I'm paraphrasing it now. And it made me look at, like, you know,
psychic pain a bit differently.
I mean, yeah, that would.
And look at people that have lots of piercings
and people that have lots of tattoos.
Like, they're actually trying to physically experience
something that they only experience emotionally
and can't often locate.
And I think that we're talking about very emotionally damaged
people if you're, like, willfully
putting bad information in the world
for your own gain. And I think you underestimate how many people, for whatever reasons, maybe
they've had really tough lives or maybe they're sociopathic, who would actually enjoy that
sensation of pain. It's making them feel something.
Mm.
Geez.
Mm-mm-mm.
Right?
Whoops. Uh...
And I see, I feel like Trump is in that category
because of his own damage.
He likes to feel, like, the thing that we're like,
ugh, everyone thinks you're awful, you're a nasty person.
He gets a rush from that pain and that criticism.
And I do fear you would create a world
where people would seek out that pain.
You're basically saying we'd create, like, super villains.
The Joker. Yeah, yeah, that's what it sounds like you basically saying we'd create like super villains.
The Joker.
Yeah, that's what it sounds like.
Yeah, like, you know.
Damn.
Look, my vote's still yes.
We're already in a world where people like self-harm for various reasons.
And I'm just like, there's part of the human experience where pain can be very validating
and offers release.
My worry is that some of these bad actors,
feeling the pain, are just gonna do more bad things.
And that's why it's a no,
not because I don't think it's a good idea.
Sorry. Yeah, yeah.
No, no, those people will probably have to be tackled.
Damn, Josh, you were close.
I do like the underlying rules.
Yeah, you were close.
And there's something there.
No, I'll keep working on it.
Yeah, you were pro-finement.
You know what I mean? We've actually. Yeah, you were close. I keep working on it.
You know what I mean?
You were close.
We've actually never done an If I Rule the World that was a revised idea of an old idea.
That's true.
Yeah, oh, yeah.
That's true.
Okay, so you're going to come back?
We've got to go workshop it.
I might.
And we repeat.
Look, it might be through If I Rule the Worlds later.
This is going to take time.
Got it.
Got it.
Because now I forgot about a whole demographic of people and everything.
Super villains.
Yeah.
Don't forget the super villains.
And now it's time for today's self-care toolkit segment brought to you by Amazon.
Whether it's delivering medication to your door with Amazon Pharmacy or 24-7 virtual
care with Amazon One Medical, thanks to Amazon, healthcare just got less painful.
What's your sick day routine? Because we all have one. Even if we don't admit it, there's a rhythm to it, you know. The minute your body gives up and you surrender to the couch, everything else follows.
The food, the TV, the music, the mood. I mean, there's movies, obviously movies. You can't watch anything
new when you're sick. That's a rule. It has to be something familiar, something you've seen a dozen
times. For me it's something random like the Princess Bride, Ocean's Eleven or Finding Nemo.
Yes, something warm, something where you already know how it ends and that's the point because I
don't know where this sickness is going man. Or it's's gotta be music, you know, music soft and low key, low five beats,
acoustic soul, maybe a little Nora Jones.
You know, if you're really leading in, it's less about listening and
more about setting the tone, the background sound for your inner drama.
Maybe reading, no, that was a fake, I'm not gonna read, forget it.
I always think I'll catch up on a book, but let's be honest, I stay at the ceiling or scroll through my phone at like 5% brightness like I'm decoding ancient texts.
I'm not reading a book when I'm sick. It feels like somebody squeezing my nose into my head.
Want me to concentrate on words written on a page or more focused on food? Yes, food. That's the one
part I take seriously. It has to be hot and comforting. Ramen or grilled cheese
with tomato soup. They say the two come together to cure any ailment. Something
simple that wraps you up from the inside, you know? And honestly the best part is
that one friend who always checks in, you know who that friend is or maybe you are
that friend. The, hey I heard your voice in that meeting. You sounded like a dying
person. Are you okay? Well that friend was like, hey I've noticed you weren't in the group chat laughing at
all the memes. Are you still alive? Yeah. Just that little person, that little voice note or text
that slips in to let you know that you matter. I feel like that's part of the medicine.
Sick days are weirdly sacred. They're like a reset button wrapped in a hoodie. And when you get the routine just right,
even being sick feels kind of bearable.
Well, we hope you gave you some ideas
for your self-care routine.
Today's self-care toolkit segment
was brought to you by Amazon.
Thanks to Amazon,
healthcare just got less painful.
on, healthcare just got less painful. Alright, so Christiana has her two votes, Josh only got one. Let's see if I can get
anything out of this one. So, if I ruled the world, I would make it so that every thought people are having during sex or intimacy comes out of them verbally, whether they like it or not.
This is insane.
Man, this man trying to get another.
What the?
Let me finish.
All right.
Let me finish.
Yep. Yep. Yep.
You will be making out with somebody and like in my world it like comes out of every...
Don't worry.
Don't worry about like, oh but I'm kissing them.
No, it might come out in my plate of your ears.
This is the world I'm creating.
Think of it as like having a little speaker on you.
Not visible, but you're making out with somebody and whatever you're thinking comes out of
you.
Me, oh I need to do the washing.
Oh I need to do...
That's fine. Whatever it is comes out of you. Me, oh I need to do the washing. That's fine. Whatever it is comes out of you.
And if you're having sex with somebody, whatever you're thinking, whatever they're thinking, it comes out of them.
And the other person is able to hear it while this is happening.
Okay.
This is the whole idea.
This is the complete idea, Josh.
Okay.
Now I will tell you why.
Okay.
Tell you why.
So, the reason I think this would be a great idea is for a few reasons.
One, because we live in a world where nobody teaches us about sex.
Nobody.
We go to school, we learn about different types of clouds.
I know about cumulonimbus.
I know about stratus.
I know about different types of rivers, perennial, non-perennial.
Nobody taught me about sex at school.
Like nothing.
They taught you about like the genitalia.
That's not sex.
They did not teach you about sex.
I mean, there's a reason you can't like demonstrate sex to children.
But you're not taught about sex.
And this is the thing that I... But the best way to learn about sex is sometimes experiential. No, no, no, no, no. I think there's ways you can learn about a thing without doing it.
So here's the thing I think of sometimes.
We'll make these arguments, but then like go watch a cartoon.
They show things like...
There's cartoons where they're shooting each other's heads off and getting blown up and all kinds of things.
You know how many times Bugs Bunny blew off Almafud's head with a gun?
But nobody said, you can't show kids somebody shooting someone's head off.
I mean someone probably should have said that.
Yeah, but what I'm saying is like we will say, I'm saying sex is a good and natural part of life.
Okay.
And I'm saying in our lives no one teaches it to us.
Now I'm not saying, I'm not even saying when.
You brought children in by the way, let the record show.
I said nothing about children,
and then Christiana all of a sudden threw children at me,
as if now I was saying, I just said we don't get taught about sex.
I'm saying even when we're 21, there's no sex school.
You know what I mean?
When we're 18, there's no sex school.
So, this is the first part, no one teaches us about sex.
Secondly, we have done a terrible job at working in and around consent.
Just let's be honest, we've done a terrible job.
The MeToo movement came and went and what did we actually learn from it?
Right?
Almost nothing.
Half of the people are like, well, this is why I'm not going to have a woman in my office.
That doesn't seem like the lesson we were trying to learn.
Do you get what I'm saying?
But also we didn't dive into the nuances.
We didn't talk about how consent is fluid and is always moving and is sometimes
verbal, sometimes non-verbal, sometimes culturally defined. It's complicated. It's difficult.
That's what I'm saying in my world. When you are being intimate with somebody, every thought
you are having would be loudly and clearly projected to the other person.
Okay, but Trevor, why not just do the school of sex first before you have to do the thoughts?
Yes, okay, another reason for this is because I think a lot of couples out there have sex lives
that diminish over time because they're not sharing what's in their mind.
And they can't like tap into it. So you hear many stories of women who are not being pleasured
and they don't say it to their partner. And then like 15 years down the line, they're like,
ah, yeah, it wasn't working for me. The sex wasn't great. And you're like this poor guy,
he didn't know he never got a chance. And school of sex help no no but the school yeah but
the school remember people people fail in school all the time that's okay
failure is okay no no no no people fail at six or the time yeah but you see in
my world it's not about the failure nor the success it's just about the raw
honesty that the thing would provide okay yeah think of it the other way as
well like there are men out there who might have like a fantasy or something
want to think about and they want to and they can't share and then it blocks them from
their partner. Both ways it can go by the way. I don't think it's gendered. I'm just
saying these are examples. And so I'm saying you'd be having the sex and to your point
you might go, I have to do the washing. I have to do the dishes. I have to and then
your husband could say to you, baby, you don't worry about the dishes right now. I got you, babe. You
don't need to worry about those dishes.
Okay.
Okay?
I've got a couple of things.
You can ask as many questions as you like.
Okay, so there's this guy I follow on TikTok. I forget his name. I think we should have
him on the show.
Yeah.
He's a PhD. He's a professor who studies like boyhood and manhood. And one of the studies
they did was about what men think about during sex.
And they got these men to speak to, you know, I don't know how they conduct these experiments.
Yeah, it's probably all lies, but carry on.
No, and it was very revealing.
Men said they think about other men in the sense they think about what they're going to tell their friend about this sexual experience.
Man, you see, these are lies. Who are these guys?
Anyway, he goes through all of these things.
No, man, you see, this is what I don't like about these studies.
But wait, wait, wait, wait.
These are lies.
But wait.
Sorry, carry on. These are lies.
Now he's become anti-intellectual because he doesn't like it.
No, these are lies.
They're just going to say like, these are men.
Josh, okay. Okay, Josh.
He was just saying, it was interesting.
And the men think about their insecurities.
Men think, what does she think about my body?
Men think, it was like very vulnerable.
Oh yeah, but that's everyone. That part is everyone.
And my thing is, I don't know if men are ready for what women think
about them during sex. Because some of it is not very nice.
And you could go away with a lasting scar
about what she thinks about your physical appearance.
This is great.
And I think there's a reason... Thoughts are private.
I was going to say, private's are private, but thoughts are private. No, but these privates are thoughts that are gonna
not be private. Here's a counter argument to what you're saying and I'm with you completely. Remember
in my world you will not know the before. Remember these are the rules of if I rule the world. The
people are not gonna know, it's not a new thing for them. I'm just saying for all of us it switches
tomorrow. We will not remember what it was okay so everyone will be experiencing
this at some point you will become immunized to it no I think people just
won't have sex you think people you think I can stop people from having sex
I think people you know that in refugee camps people have sex I'm with you I'm
just letting you know now yeah but those thoughts are pretty quiet. Just like the sex.
People have sex everywhere.
I'm with you. People in jail have sex.
No, listen, because there are no thoughts.
Because you don't know the thoughts.
I want you to win here.
I want to see you succeed. So these are my questions.
Do you know how good the sex can be if people reveal their intimate secrets?
No, why don't they just say it? No, because that's what I'm saying.
In my world, they are just saying it.
That's what I'm trying to say.
No, because you're forcing their thoughts.
I'm not forcing it.
It just happens to you.
But no, because you change it.
It's like a fart that you can't block out of your mind.
Have you smelled farts?
Yes, but that's what...
Okay, now, actually, this is a great point.
If you hang out with your friends, your closest friends, people who you really love and vibe,
your kids even,
you tell me that farts haven't brought you closer together.
People love to intellectualize so many things in this world, but let's be honest Josh,
you're hanging out with somebody close to you.
You're a couple, any couple who's listening to this right now, you think to yourself.
You're a couple, you're in bed together, one of you farts.
Tell me that that moment doesn't bring joy into your lives.
No, because when you have kids, you just blame it on one of the kids.
Yeah, but it's funny. But it's funny.
But it's funny.
You see, it brings you something.
You fought with your friends.
When do you not fought?
When you do not fought with people that you are not comfortable with,
environments that you are not comfortable in, right?
In environments.
So what I'm saying is, the fought is a great measure for where you are most comfortable.
Ah, let it loose.
Let it rip.
You're consenting to the fart coming out.
Yes. Because you're comfortable.
Yes, but the other person...
But I'm not consenting to the thought coming out. And if I consent to the thought coming out, I just say it.
That's why we have mouths.
No, no, no, no, no, no. But what I'm saying is here, I'm helping people, just letting it come out.
Okay, so I have three questions. Because I once again, I think this is a very interesting interesting idea When your thought comes out. Yes. Can you talk while your thought comes out?
You can't talk at the same time. You can't talk at the same time as your thought comes out
You can't think a different thing to what you're saying. Okay
Because you can think so fast because you can think
Faster than you can speak you could speak and then think and then the thought comes out right after that's true
That's true. Right? So you could say oh, this is the best sex I ever had and then you're great. No, it's not
Yeah, yes
Yeah, you can you can do that? Yes, then the other two things which I feel like are the sticking points for can I tell you?
Why can I let me I'll tell you why because I think in my world
I think there could be something beautiful on the other side of the friction that we would experience initially.
Because yes, I understand where you're coming from. Please don't get me wrong.
Even me myself when I came up with this idea, I was like, Trevor, this is crazy. To me myself.
Yeah.
Right? Because I challenged myself as well.
And then I thought, but think about how beautiful this moment could be. You're having sex with somebody, right?
They go, this is the best sex I ever had. Then their brain comes out and goes no, it's not I've had much better sex
Now you want to end no no no no now they you can see you wouldn't even think about what?
Is marriage the first time you guys are having sex no, but what if somebody is thinking about an ex or thinking about this is fine
I think that this opens us up
To the world of intimacy that we often act like isn't happening already.
And I think so for instance somebody says this is the best sex, no it's not.
Then you could say oh why did you lie to me? Now your brain might even say that.
People are gonna get shot Trevor.
Cristiana, why are you jumping? They're not gonna shoot their wives.
And wives are gonna stab their husbands.
Cristiana, you understand that people are not having sex for the first time when they're married.
You're jumping straight to that. People have had sex along the way.
I'm in a relationship, sure, but like you've had sex along the way, you see, hear a thought,
and someone's just like, oh, her titties are lopsided.
You shag them.
I think you're just...
And I love why the intention behind it.
Like, I'm not hating on their death, for real. You want like this radical transparency and honesty and freedom. I could just... And I love why the intention behind it.
Like, I'm not hating on their death, for real.
You want this radical transparency and honesty and freedom.
And intimacy. And liberation and intimacy.
And it could be fun. It could be funny and interesting.
But humans are very emotional and it could hurt.
But I'm saying that would happen only because now we're in it.
Remember, we'll become a little more robust as people.
This is like how we are. I don't think so.
This is just how we are.
Don't go anywhere because we got more What Now after this.
These are the stinging points I have, right? Okay. Is that one, we know this from comedy.
All three of us know this from comedy that sometimes you have a comedic thought, which
is a joke.
And people will see you perform the joke
in a place that's also a setting for jokes.
And they'll still be like, they meant it.
So now a thought that is like a sexy thought
or I'm just thinking or I'm thinking whatever
is gonna now seem like,
cause remember you can't hear the thoughts
when we're not being intimate.
So now the only time I hear your thoughts,
it's gonna be a thing that might be slightly negative
or be a thing that like takes the fantasy too far.
Cause you gotta remember for people who are in the like
S&M or anything like that,
there might be a moment where it's like,
you're consensually choking someone who wants to be choked.
But in your head, you're like, I'm gonna kill you.
And now, you were never gonna kill them.
You were never gonna kill them.
They were here, so now they're like, oh.
No, but then they would say in their brain, please don't kill me.
That's why they stop thinking.
They would be like, you're gonna kill me?
And then your brain would go like, no, I'm not gonna kill you.
No, no, we're playing, we're playing.
We're just playing.
But now you've distracted from the thing
that they were enjoying,
which was the like little rough, chocky thing.
Because now you had to think around the thing
you would have been.
I can take this.
I've got something as well.
Because like, because I'm married,
I'm just in like married and couple lands.
What does this mean for casual sex?
Because most sex really that people are having like,
whether you're someone you swiped on Tinder or Grindr,
it's a stranger, it could be someone you met at a club.
Loving it.
What does it mean for casual sex?
What do you mean? What does it mean for it?
Because then it could be like an encounter and it's...
I think it would be great.
And the guy's like, oh my God, what if my wife finds out?
And you're like, what what shit, you got what?
But that's fantastic, you see? You're just telling me a good thing.
No, that's double stabs.
Now you get stabbed where you hit a hook.
But remember, I said when you are being intimate.
So I'm saying even like when you start kissing and remember, I didn't just say sex.
I said the intimacy as soon as you be intimate starts then.
Yeah.
Like from the moment, you know that moment where we like look at somebody and then there's the silence, then did say that. Yeah. Yeah. So, I like... From the moment, you know that moment where we like,
we like look at somebody and then there's the silence,
then we think something.
Then the voice would come out and be like,
I wonder if now is a good time to kiss them.
Isn't there something, isn't there like an app that we could...
I think there's just something that's an in-between.
I think like, I like the school of sex thing
that you were talking about that we don't have.
Yes.
I think there's lots of steps we can get to
before this kind of black mirror world
where people know sex.
Because you gotta remember.
Thoughts before you kiss.
This is the only other thing that I have.
But I'm not saying it's a terrible,
it just feels like the most extreme version
of this problem we're trying to solve.
It does feel like radical honesty,
but I think that there's a world where,
because you and I, are both men and we
Understand what men are like yes
I had to sit down a couple of my friends who did not believe me when I told them there were there were
Plenty of men in this world who will act flamboyant
They'll even act gay to like get in with you and now that they're your gay best friend or y'all touch or
y'all play or whatever now you're like oh i've never thought about you this way and i've never
been with the one but all lies all lies again literally that much of a long game and i worry
that you will create jedis of men who know their thoughts are gonna be heard.
So they're like, I gotta, cause you gotta remember, you gotta remember a lot of dudes are trying not to.
You think people will be able to control their thoughts to that point.
100% because this is the thing, they know when it's gonna be turned on, so they know how they have to think for it.
Then they know when it's going off. So then they can be like, whoo, okay. Right? Right after she leaves.
I'm saying already in this analogy,
a lot of guys during sex are trying not to end sex.
They're fighting to keep the sex going.
So a lot of what you'll hear are baseball statistics.
A lot of it'll just be like the great Bamboni.
And so now she's like, why is he just doing numbers in his head?
But I think you are spending, you are doing what I did when I first heard about Airbnb
and Uber.
The first time I heard about Airbnb, I was like, this is never going to work. I remember hearing about it as a concept.
They said this is app.
People stay at strangers houses.
I was like, this will never work.
Nobody is going to allow a stranger to come into their home and live there.
Sometimes stay with them.
That'll never happen.
Nobody trusts each other.
Uber, I remember being like, this is the craziest idea I've ever heard.
You're telling me people are going to drive their own car to pick you up and they don't know you and they're not a professional driver, they're just a
random driver.
I was like, I don't know.
And yet look, we get into Ubers with strangers all the time.
We go live at Airbnb's all the time.
And yes, there's the occasional friction.
I'm not saying it's perfect, but for the most part it works and I honestly both of you as brilliant
thinkers and as my friends I hear what you're saying but I think you're
focusing on the friction side of it more than you are on what comes from the
other side of it so to your, I think there would be something beautiful
in the person who's having sex with the man
going, baseball stats?
And then he goes, yes, I'm trying to prolong my ejaculation.
I'm trying to make sure that I don't ejaculate.
Oh, oh, oh, just did it, because I mentioned it.
And now where are we? See, you interrupted my stats. No, but you see, but because I mentioned it.
And now where are we?
See, you interrupted my snaps.
No, but you see, but now I think it opens up, there's an intimacy because now she can
go, oh, why are you trying that hard not to ejaculate?
Or I think there's like something that can open up in a way that right now we don't have
in sex.
This is what I'm saying.
Why don't you just go to a sex therapist?
Cristiano, how can people just afford sex therapists randomly?
Why didn't you?
You rule the world.
You can give sex therapy away for free.
Yes, but now that's like everyone has to go through the thing and do the thing.
I'm just instantly, we're in it.
I really need you to sell me on what the upside of this is.
I'm really, I'm not focusing on attention.
The only, okay, I'll tell you, there are three upsides to this thing.
I think I can help you on the upside too.
So there are three upsides that I think.
Upside number one, I think we lose a lot of intimacy
in sex because we hide numerous things.
We hide the fact that we're uncomfortable.
We hide the fact that we don't know how we feel
for the other person.
We hide so many things that I think rob us
of the intimacy that we could be experiencing.
So from fresh hookups all the way to married couples.
You know how many guys out there have no idea how quote unquote terrible the sex was with the girl they were with.
And she's like, I don't know if I can, I really liked the date that we went on, but that was just horrible.
And this person doesn't know.
They're a nice person.
And then maybe they become less of a nice person because they're like, why don't I get second hookups or we go on dates and they like me, but this happens,
right?
And then also for a woman, it's like, imagine what it's like to be you in a world where
you're not getting great sex because you don't want to hurt the person's feelings.
But now it's not you.
The thing is just happening to her.
So the first thing I'm saying is I think it would open up a lot of intimacy channels.
These are the upsides.
I understand the downsides.
I think another thing it would do is it would help people voice the moments where they're uncomfortable,
where I think sometimes the other person doesn't even know. And I think this can happen both
ways. Sometimes people are uncomfortable. And it would be great if your brain could
just say, I'm uncomfortable. And then you go like, oh damn, you're uncomfortable? Okay.
But don't you worry that by creating this shortcut, then people just aren't going to
do what I think
is the proper work of spending time and getting to know someone. And whether it's your casual
hookup or whether it's like people have been together for a long time, if you know their
thoughts are just going to be downloaded to you, you're like, I'm not going to ask my
wife about her day, I just know during sex I'm going to hear about, oh that bitch in
the office was talking about me.
No, but that depends on what people think about during sex. I think we should give people some credit.
Some people are able to really focus on this sex.
We can't focus, we're on our phones all the time.
No, I think there's a lot of times when people are having sex going, this feels amazing,
I love this person so much, I'm so lucky, what an amazing experience.
I don't want to have another kid.
Yeah, whatever it might be.
But I think there are those upsides. And so I'm willing to take a little bit of the friction for what I think could be a beautiful,
open, honest, and interesting conversation that we could be having during sex.
This is the thing I was going to say that might help you, who knows?
People probably, I'm assuming, don't quite have some of the sensitivities that they have
in our current world.
That's what I mean, because in Rome it's always been like this.
It's always been like this.
So they just know that that's what happens during sex.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, gotcha, gotcha.
It's the same way.
You're asking me, like, do I want to live in a world where this is true?
That's what I mean, because think of it this way.
Thank you, Josh, actually, because think of how crazy our current sex is.
Imagine if we lived in an alternate universe and I had pitched this to you and I said,
if I ruled the world, I would make it so that whenever people orgasm,
their face goes like this and then they go like...
I don't think either of you would say yes to that.
Sure, sure, sure.
You would go, why would...
You might even say, why would anyone have sex?
If you're going to end it with eeeh, why would anyone have sex?
So I thank you, Josh, because that is exactly what I'm saying.
Yes, to us, it is weird now because we think tomorrow it will be that.
But for the people of this world that I rule, it will be like that.
There was no other way.
And so I think their journey will come
with different frictions, but I think a more holistic,
honest and intimate experience.
Okay, I think I might be out of questions,
but I guess my other thing is that not to lean heavily
on the friction forever, but I guess there are things
of like, even if we're having a coffee together and you just keep checking your phone, you're giving me the impression
you want to be somewhere else and you want to do something else.
So then when I'm like, hey, are you late?
Do you need to go?
Whatever.
And you're like, no, no, no, I'm fine.
But then you do keep doing this.
That for me, I think you'll have a hard time while sex will become more honest
and more understanding of what the experience was
for both people.
I wonder if you would not actually slightly increase
the amount of bad sex because of just how the brain works.
Even in your alternate universe
where people know this is gonna happen,
there's still a level of like,
sex is already the most intimate thing you can do with a person. So if they
are clearly thinking about someone else or don't want to be there, while consenting in
a way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, don't, I have stuff to do.
I'm with you.
I think in this world, we haven't considered sex workers. And if you're a sex worker and
it's your occupation,
sometimes you're at your job and you're not enjoying your job.
Yeah.
I'm thinking about sex workers.
Yeah, because if you went to a restaurant
and they're taking your order, but they're also
like, dumbass forehead.
Like, that would be like, oh, I don't even
know if I want to eat here anymore.
Yeah, and I just feel like for people
that do sex work in this unit, because they're
going to be sex work, prostitution is the oldest job in the world.
Yeah, maybe.
There's no multiverse where it doesn't, you don't have it.
I feel like if you're a sex worker and you know that every client is going to have insight
into what you're thinking, it makes the job harder.
And their work is hard enough for as it is. Mmm.
Okay.
I'm ready for my votes.
Okay.
So, I'm actually going to vote yes.
Right?
I'm voting yes because I do think there are a lot of people who don't deserve to be having
sex.
And this will ruin them.
Oh man.
This will completely.
We just got Doc Josh.
We really got Doc Josh today.
This will take them down, right?
Like I said before about us being men and us like knowing what other men are like.
And I'm like, if there was a thing that was not me as your friend to like one of my female
friends, right?
Who was telling on him right now, if there was something he could do that could tell on himself maybe you'd finally
see it yeah and I think and I think that only in a world like this will that
happen yeah yeah and so so I would say yeah I do consider the the sex work part
of what you're talking about because then sex workers would have to become
Jedi experts at like but nobody can in my world.
They can't do the Jedi thing?
It's what's in your mind. It's what's really in your mind.
Oh, okay. Okay.
Uh, well then...
It's worth the taked out of terrible people.
I thank you Josh.
So I'ma vote yes.
Thank you so much Josh.
Yeah.
No surprises, I'm gonna vote no.
But I actually do appreciate the problem you're trying to solve.
And I think if the steps before getting to this brain thing are good steps, and I just
worry like Elon Musk type could hack it.
Or you know, it's just-
No, there's no hacking.
It's in my world.
It's perfect.
Unhackable.
The idea is not even perfect. so how can your world be perfect?
No, no, no, but I mean the execution is.
You know what I think could have won Christiana over though?
Is if your world where you do this thing is like the total recall thing.
So you put the thing on and then you can hear the thoughts, but it's like a thing that you have to switch on.
No.
Okay, Trevor.
Because you could sway me to be a yes.
If?
If, is there an opt-in, opt-out option?
Oh, oh that's interesting.
I'm in for that.
So if there's opt-in?
Oh yeah, I'm definitely in for that.
Okay, I vote yes.
Wait, no, that I gotta vote no.
How did I just lose you? Because every dude I was trying to destroy will now opt out.
Or he'll convince his girl to opt out.
But now wouldn't that be suspicious?
Okay, I hear what you're saying there, but I mean that would be suspicious.
Imagine you're gonna have sex with someone and it's like,
so we both, you wanna do some honest sex?
And they're like, nah, I don't do that.
Yeah, what do you think condoms are, bro?
Like, that's what people do at half the time.
Hey, you on birth control or whatever, right?
OK, ah, like that, like that.
OK, all right.
So I would get a yes from you, but then I would
flip to a no from you.
I'm sorry.
Whose vote do you value more?
Ah, the opt-in is so much fun.
Yeah, opt-in, opt-out, I think is great.
The opt-in makes it so much fun.
Trevor, let me tell you something about opt-in or opt-out.
For couples, that can be the thing that makes it really risky.
So like, are we gonna wear the headset tonight?
I actually like this a lot.
Just like the idea of like, yo, you wanna be in my head tonight?
Yeah.
There's something sexy in that.
So if it's opt-in, opt-out, absolutely.
But if it's like a thing that a feature all humans have in this science fiction...
No, look, I like yours because it just brought more mischief into my world.
But I actually like it being everyone and everything because I think sometimes
people are tired and they don't want to have sex and then they have sex and then there's too many things.
So I still like it. No opt-in, no opt-out, no manipulation,
no one convincing you to opt-in or telling you why you should opt out.
Someone's going to make a church of opt-outers and be like, it's sinful to opt-in.
There'll be a whole thing.
Okay, I'm sorry. Then it's a no.
Okay.
Yeah, but it is a yes from me.
Well, I'll take my one vote.
Josh got one vote for his If I Rule the World.
I got one vote for my If I Rule the World.
And Christiana, once again, you are the champion of If I Ruled the World.
Thank you to everyone who submitted their suggestions to us, by the way. For all of you who got the
yeses I envy you and to all of you who got the noes I feel your pain. I feel it like
Josh sent it to me in my bones. This was fun. Thanks y'all.
Yeah thanks.
What Now with Trevor Noah is produced by Spotify Studios in partnership with Day Zero Productions. The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Sanaz Yamin and Jodie Avigan.
Our senior producer is Jess Hackl, Claire Slaughter is our producer.
Music mixing and mastering by Hannes Brown.
Thank you so much for listening.
Join me next Thursday for another episode of What Now?