When Reality Hits with Jax and Brittany - Brittany's Birthday with Kristen Doute!

Episode Date: January 26, 2024

VPR legend Kristen Doute stops by to help Brittany celebrate her birthday, reflect on some b-day memories, and discuss their upcoming show THE VALLEY!!! Check out our great sponsors!!! HungryRoot: Get 40% off your first delivery and free veggies for life at Hungryroot.com/reality  StitchFix: Go to StitchFix.com/realityhits to get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix! Mint Mobile: Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at MintMobile.com/reality  Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive! Visit Apartments.com - THE place to find a place!

Hello everybody and welcome back to when reality hits. I have a beautiful, wonderful guest on today that I love so freaking much. The fabulous Kristen Dodie. What an intro. Hello, hello. And castmate. Hey. And castmate again.

Again. Like how awesome was that? Previous and current Castmate. Exactly. We could finally talk about it. Oh my god, finally. How crazy is it whenever we have these podcasts and stuff and we can't talk about half the stuff that's been going on in our lives? Okay, not only because Luke and I adjusted this on our podcast, but it was like for Luke, it's only been months since he hasn't been able to talk about it. For you, me and Jack, it's been two years, two years that this was in the works. And like we filmed a while ago. So it's like so much has changed so much has happened since we filmed, but I'm just so excited for everybody to see the bell. It's going to be amazing. You guys are really gonna love it. Like, I won't, I won't like say, say too too much, right? Yeah. Say, say too too much.

I'm getting your accent. But really, as I said, we've been working on this for over two years. I said on my podcast, like you and Jack's had this idea that I was immediately brought into, and I'm so grateful for, and it does take, you know, it takes an army of people to like make a first show happen. Yeah. And it was something we talked about back in 2020 or before 2020. And then the pandemic hit and I'm just so glad that after all these years, you guys brought it back to the forefront of our producers and all the headhonto minds. Yeah.

Jack's was literally like, we got to do this now. Met, Jax is literally like, we gotta do this now. Met with Alex Baskin and here we are. I know. Thank you, Alex, we love you. And also, Alex Baskin talked about it at the Vanderpump Rules Premier Party. I know. Which blew my mind a little

because I thought we were keeping a little hush-hush on things, but now everyone just knows it's gonna be on episode eight of Vanderpump Rules. Yeah, oh my gosh. We get to say that. Oh, okay, we can at least say that part Vanirpump Rules. So we get to say that. Okay, we can at least say that part. Cause he said it, so we get to say it. Everybody keeps saying like, when is it air?

When is it air? And I'm like, I don't know. I say soon-ish. It's gonna be coming out soon, but it's also gonna be amazing. I'm so excited. We're so grateful. Yes, so everyone do your girl math.

It's on episode eight of Vanirpump Rules. Do your girl math. Yes. Oh episode eight of Vanirpump Rules. Do your girl math. Yes. Oh my gosh, yes, I love it. Okay, so I just gotta give a little shout out to myself because you guys are listening to this on my birthday. Okay. Happy birthday to you.

Ooh, Marilyn. Thank you so much for knowing what it was. Girl, my dog literally named the row. It's true. You have pictures of Marilyn up. Yeah. So this is my special birthday episode and it's girls night. I'm sure you guys have noticed by now that Jax is not recording with us.

I just wanted to do a fun girls night episode to talk about some of my favorite memories and favorite things that I've had with Kristen. Oh my gosh. So I wanted to go into some of my past birthdays that we have shared together because like I said, birthday episode. Yes. Okay. So remember last year we were in Las Vegas.

Last year was pretty epic. It was awesome. It was amazing. We went to that, what was it? Thunder from down under? No, what was it? Chip and Dale. Chip and Dale.

Yeah, same thing. Chip and Dale. Different. And our friend Jacqueline is the host of it and it was absolutely amazing. Magic Mike. Magic Mike. Oh my God, we're the worst.

We just went through three different. We've been to Chip and Dale. We've definitely been to Chip and Dale. I've probably been to Thunder from down under. I've probably been through all of it. So let's, we went to Magic Mike. Skrrt, skrrt, skrrt. Rewind. We went to Magic Mike and it was awesome.

It was hilarious. I got pulled on stage, remember? Oh, I remember. I was so nervous. I have a million like live photos because you were kind of far away from where we were. Yeah. The stage they pulled you up on.

So I just kept taking like really close photos that were live so I could like click on them and watch him gyrate on you, like above you. It was like above you. Yeah, it was above me. And Jackson knew I was doing that and he was completely fine with it. It was just so fun. I loved doing stuff like that with my girlfriends. I think it's hilarious. Sheena was like, of course, Sheena, you know, she's like, oh, we have got to go to magic bike. I'm like, yes. Absolutely. Front row seats. Shout out again to Jacqueline, who gets to ride the unicorn.

And it was the dancing was amazing, though. So good. The drinks were flowing. We had the best time, but it was it was pretty epic. Yeah. If you go to Vegas, you got to try magic. It really is amazing, though. The dancers, the whole show is phenomenal. Remember whenever they get in that cage and it goes up in the sky or whatever

and there's a rain falling down. The shower dancing. It is, absolutely. I've had so many girlfriends text me ever since I posted about that last year that have texted me and they're like, you went to Magic Mike. We're all going to Magic Mike.

A group of my, shout out to my friend, Jamie, but she and a bunch of moms from LA, they all went to Vegas for like a trip and they're like, we're all going to Magic Mike too. So good. They wanted the same experience. It is so good. Do you remember a couple of years ago? I can't remember every single date, obviously, but me and Katie had a shared birthday in Las Vegas. Yes.

And we all went out and we went to like, oh, I think it was like Omnia and like did all the things. We did all the Vegas. All the Vegas. Vegas is like treats us amazingly. So shout out to Vegas. I love you. Vegas, we love you.

But I'm not going to say which one of your ex-boyfriends, but one of your ex-boyfriends, But, Oh, Oh, Oh, One of your ex-boyfriends, cause we all had this huge suite that had like a pool table and had like multiple rooms in it. So we had a phone. It looked like a Kardashian mansion. Like it was kind of split with two staircases. Yeah, it was huge.

And this big giant area, and then we all had bedrooms upstairs and you had like master bedrooms on the deck. Yeah, me and Katie both had like the big main bedrooms downstairs, but one of Kristen's eggs, we had a Bluetooth speaker. It was connected to like a JBL speaker or something. And he goes out to take a shower

after playing music on the speaker and didn't realize that his phone was still connected, I guess, somehow. And we're all downstairs. We're all downstairs. Like, getting ready, we're ready to party. Like, we're like, everyone meet here. All of a sudden, porn sounds. It's like, uh, uh, uh, we're like, what's up?

He was literally upstairs in the shower watching porn and it was going through the speakers for all like 10, 12 of us to hear. There was like 12 of us at least there. And porn is very, porn is so normal and fine you guys. But I was like, Carter, turn your damn phone off. I wasn't gonna say his name. Kristen said his name. But so that was such a hilarious moment.

And that was just like, is another, you know, birthday memory that I always think about because it was so funny and everybody was cracking up and felt so uncomfortable for a second that we just like died. I want you all to just take a moment and imagine you're with all your best friends, their boyfriend's husband's, and you're partying, you're trying to turn on a speaker, let's play some going out music. And all of a sudden it's just porn sounds. So good.

That's a great memory. That was such a good memory. Yeah. I can't believe you said the name. I was going to leave it out. He's fine. He's a homie. He's a homie.

Then do you remember we had another one of my birthdays at Delilah. And this was years ago It's like yeah, and my job is my job. She's dropped you guys I had a yeah We could not get to our table like everybody was just like standing in the lobby or whatever by you know The hostess and and we were like what is taking so long turned out Leonardo DiCaprio and Toby McGuire We're sitting at the table and of course they're not going to tell them to leave.

So we're all just standing around like, what are we going to do? Like everybody's like, uh, like looking at me like, what's going to happen? I'm like, I don't know. I can't tell Leonardo DiCaprio. You can't ask Leo to leave. Excuse me. Our table, that's our table. Did you remember that?

Oh, I fully remember that. So then we went to the other side of the bar and we just like had drinks and we were like, hey, we're waiting, we're waiting, we're waiting. Hello, Leo, hey. No big deal, no big deal. But hey, that's stuff that happens in LA that you would never expect like anywhere else.

Think of yourself 10 years ago. Oh my gosh. 10 years ago. You've been here eight years. Nine years? 10 years ago. Oh my gosh. 10 years ago. Yeah. You've been here eight years. Nine years? Nine years. Well, it'll be nine.

It'll be nine. Same time. It'll be nine on the 4th of July. The 4th of July is the day that I moved to LA and I drove straight to Sheena Shae's house. Yeah. Her parents' house for a 4th of July party with my car packed full of clothes and everything. It's so wild.

It's like crazy. So yourself nine to 10 years ago, if you would be sitting on this podcast in this house talking about Leonardo DiCaprio and Toby McGuire accidentally like still being at your table on one of your birthday memories. That is insane. Wild. Insane. I mean, there's just been so many amazing memories

since we've been here. And also, remember we had the birthday party at Rocko's? I sure do. What was it decorated like? I can't remember. We had Bitty and a big balloon thing. We had like East, like UK stuff. Oh, it was all my favorite things.

It was just like all Brittany's favorite things. Hooters, Megan Johnson. Hooters, Hooters Girls came. And we had Marilyn Monroe posters. Marilyn Monroe. And like all these like little things, like 90s hit ball music. These are a few of my favorite things.

And we were like, what is Brittany like? Rap, UK basketball. Yeah, UK basketball. Yeah. Big Blue Nation. Yeah, UK basketball. Yeah. Big Blue Nation. Yeah. It was absolutely, oh my gosh, some of the funniest times that I've ever had. What?

So many good birthdays here. So many good birthdays. When reality hits is sponsored by Hungry Root. Hungry Root is the easiest way to get fresh, high quality food delivered to your door. Check out their website. There's so many options. Grain bowls, pastas, tacos, stir fries, salads, wraps, burgers, and more. Hungry Root is so delicious. The food is always amazing.

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That's hungerroot.com slash reality. Don't forget to use our link so they know that we sent you. I used to have a birthday curse by the way. Like I'm not even lying. It like there was years and years and years where I had horrible, horrible, horrible birthdays. And let me tell you all a little story. It started when I was 17. I, it was my 17th birthday. I was getting like a new TV or something.

I was so excited about parents for by me and new TV. The worst ice storm that we've like ever had in Kentucky happens on my birthday. We can't go nowhere. We can't do anything. We can't do anything. Nobody could come see me. Nobody could celebrate. And I can't drive. You can't even leave your house.

I storms are the worst because nobody can be on the road. Yeah. And all you Midwesterners know exactly what we're talking about right now. Exactly. And it was just like crazy because that was the first time because I'm such a social person. I always love to celebrate like my birthday. Everybody else's birthday is like yours that's just who I am.

You are the hostess with the mostest. I love having everybody around. So whenever that happened, I was like, oh my gosh. Well then my 18th birthday comes around and I had a G.I. Joe's and Army Ho's birthday party. So everybody had a dress and camouflage and like army stuff. I love that theme for you. Like so hard, I love that theme.

So let me tell you, my bedroom at the time was, it used to be a garage. It was like this huge room and it had a separate room inside of it. It's hard to explain, but it also had a door to the outside. So my sister or somebody got me a keg. Okay. And it was in the second room.

So my mom would come down and she would check on the party and be like, how's everybody doing? Does anybody want snacks or like, she was like passing out like red solo cuffs of like, like pop and stuff. And she had no idea. You just said pop. She had no idea. I love you just said pop. She had no idea. I've never heard you say pop.

What do you think I say soda? Yeah. I think I say both. I go back and forth. That's wild. Like, dude. Midwestern, hashtag midwesterners. I go back and forth on both.

Okay, so sweet little Sherry Carre. My mom doesn't even drink, y'all. Does not even drink or do anything. She's an angel. I've seen her have like a sip of wine and then she's like I'm good. She'll be like I'll take a Malibu Malibu coconut run with pineapple juice. She drinks like a 17 year old. She does. So like and that's like one if that ever. So she like especially back then like she did not have any drinks whatsoever. So she had no clue that I had

that keg in that room. And she thinks that we're all carrying around the solo cups of the pop that she brought out. Wait, Brittany, I have a question. Is your mom now hearing this for the first time that you had a keg hit in? No, trust me, she knows. And I'll tell you why.

The freaking cops came. The cops came and they come in and all my friends, there was like 30, 40 people had to stand on my front lawn until the freaking parents came and picked them up. They called all their parents. It was my 18th birthday and my poor mom is like getting in trouble and I'm like, oh, I'm 18 now, I'm balling crying. I'm like, get me in trouble, not her. My mom had no clue that we had any alcohol at the party. She's like, this is like not another teen movie. Takes Kentucky.

But can you know how sweet my mom is? Yes. Like she had no idea. And I was just crying, balling, please officers, take me. They didn't like take her to jail or nothing by that. Anyway, it's still like you her to jail or nothing by that. Any maids, but still like you can get in trouble for that stuff and she was completely like innocent.

And I was like, oh, it was like the worst thing ever. Like the shit that we do to our parents that they have no idea about. Girl, who I know is insane. I know, it really is. So you think about that as a mom now. Oh yeah. Now I'm like, Cruz is gonna do this to me

and I'm gonna get paid back for all the stuff that I put my mom now. Oh, yeah Now I'm like Cruz is gonna do this to me and I'm gonna get paid back for all this stuff I put my mom through. Oh great like great Man, I hope when Luke and I have a baby like for real for real that I don't get paid back Did you have parties at your house I had one I had one I had one oh Girl, I was party everybody. My mom, but it's like my mom raised us, like my dad, you know, we were there every, I mean, I had parties at my dad's house

because he was like the cool dad every other weekend, like yay, dad has the party house and it was fine. But at one time, my mom went out of town for like a whole night and I was in high school, like I was, my brother and I both like well old enough to take care of ourselves. And I'll just do long story short. I love the stories.

I was a freshman, my cousin was a senior, I was friends with some seniors and way too many people came over. I just wanted it to be like, I'm thinking like, some of my freshman friends and we're gonna have Boone's farm and some like- Smirred off Isis. Yeah, like Smirred off Isema, like some Mohawk vodka mixed with Slurpee.

Oh, mine was, oh gosh, what was it called? Burnets vodka, six dollars a. Yeah. But cheap, cheap as hell. It tastes like rubbing alcohol. It's with a little cherry flavor. And so all these seniors, junior sophomores, just all these people end up coming over. My mom's like my little hometown house and I'm starting to panic like, no, no, no, no.

There's like cigars. Like who smokes cigars? People are smoking cigarettes in the house, outside, beer cans everywhere, freaking out. Oh my God, my mom's going to come home in the morning. Eventually get everyone out. Coast is clear. Cleanup party like crazy. The next day is my birthday.

So it's actually also a birthday story. Oh, I love it. And the next day, I'm cheerleading, junior varsity at a basketball game. My mom and dad are separated by the way and have been since I was a toddler. And my dad is there with balloons and they're both sitting together.

And I'm like, this is the best freaking birthday I've ever had. You know what? Had a party, amazing, then crappy, freaked out. No one knew the difference. Mom and dad are here, awesome. Get back to my house. I carried my balloons and my mom's like, come here,

go out to the backyard. We did put everything in trash bags, but where did we put said trash bags? Oh, in the backyard. You didn't put them in the trash cans or like demonstrators? No, just trash bags. But where did we put said trash bags? Oh, in the backyard. You didn't put them in the trash cans or like down the street. No, just trash bags everywhere. And my mom opens one and there's just like beer cans and cigarette butts. And she's like, and you're grounded for a month.

Just sitting there going, how was I that stupid? Oh my gosh. Well, like I said, I had a door to the outside. Like, like, like so sometimes my mom would be upstairs and I would have like three or four friends over. She wouldn't even know. Like the things that people do whenever they're in like high school, middle school is crazy.

I think back at it all the time now, and I just laugh and laugh. I mean, we just gotta laugh. Oh, it's wonderful. And we were so innocent. Yeah. I wasn't ever doing anything bad. I didn't drink.

I really didn't even drink until, like I had a beer or two. Like, I didn't really drink until my senior year and that was even like a natty light. And the vodka with slurpees, and then you find out that vodka doesn't freeze. My brother and I used to put- It would go to the bottom of the cup.

Yeah, we would drink like Malibu rum and then we'd pour water in it and put it back in the freezer and then my mom would pull it out and she's like, so. Alcohol doesn't freeze just so you guys know and this is a almost frozen bottle. You're like, oh, I put water in there. Sorry, mom.

To make it better. We love you. Oh my gosh, yeah, but that was absolutely crazy. Do you remember whenever we saw Britney Spears in Vegas and she gave us eye contact? Yes, absolutely. That was the first time that Ariana and I looked at each other like I love you.

Oh my gosh. We did not like each other that time. But we felt the Britney love and we were like, we're here for this, right? We're here for this. Both ways, love. Britney both ways, love. Britney. Brittany, both ways love. Brittany Cartwright and Brittany Spitz.

I'll never forget, we have like a front row. It was, it was me, you, Katie, Stossi, Sheena. Lala wasn't around yet. Or was she? I think Lala was there. I can't remember. Maybe not. Zach was there, I think, Kara,

you know, Mabesti from home, she was there, Ariana, like it was such a fun trip. It was so, so magical. So fun. And we actually saw the concert on my birthday and then she looked at us and gave us a hug. And we were like, freaking out. We were so close to her. We're like, pretty came with a hug.

She loves us. She loves us. She knows who we are. I mean, I felt that way in the moment. She really stared into my soul. Yeah, we were like, she knows us and she loves us. It's the best. So another birthday curse,

birthday curse, birthday that I had. Tell me. Whenever I turn 21. It's like all in these epic birthdays of yours. Oh yeah. 17, 18, 21. Yeah, all the like fun ones got ruined. What happened at 21? So I'm turning 21 and at the time,

I was dating my college boyfriend. He was a football player for EKU. And we were like kind of at the end of our relationship. Like I had turned 21. I was like trying to like date other people. Like we were like kind of at the end, but relationship. Like I had turned 21, I was like trying to like date other people, like we were like kind of at the end, but he still came on my birthday trip. You're like, I'm not a girl, not yet a woman.

Exactly. You wanted to find your way in life. Yes, so, but he still came on my birthday trip. So it was like a bunch of our friends, my sister, you know, we all took a limo to Louisville, Kentucky. So Louisville, it's like two hours, like two hour drive. So we took a limo there and then we went to a bar in Louisville and then we were going to take a limo back. We go to the board, we finally get there. Everything's going good, whatever. And we get to the bar and these like Louisville football

players are buying me drinks and stuff. It's my 21st birthday. I've got like a pin on my shirt. So like that's the reason that these guys know. Okay. My boyfriend got so jealous. And they start a f***ing brawl. A bar fight. A bar fight.

A bar fight over Brittany on her birthday. On my birthday. After we're two hours away in a limo that we all have to ride in together. So we go up, and I'm of course like, I'm from the country. So somebody starts fighting, I'll get right in there. Like I go right in the middle of these huge football players fighting with each other. I don't think, do people know this about you?

I say this about you publicly. I always have a man or pump rules. And I've even said it on my podcast too, but like what people see is what they get. You are who you are. You're not fake. You're exactly who you are. You are the sweetest.

You're sweetest pie. I tell you this all the time. You're such a hard worker. You're the most amazing mom. You're the best friend ever. Like you are my sister like in LA without you I'd be lost. However. However. however, how much what she gonna say, you're also like my real sister when it comes to that kind of stuff.

Because when Brittany first told me about how she's been in like bar fights before I've been around like she's like I'll jump right in the middle. I'm like that's my girl. Well, you gotta like take up for people you know, yeah, and I didn't even know that, but I didn't know like in meeting you in the beginning, I'm just like, this little thing, this little country pie. Yeah. I'm definitely country and sweet, but like, I'll stick up for people. Oh, you, hell yeah, you will. But what happened was that got so crazy.

And then our other guy friends that were like on the limo with us started like fighting with them too. So there's like four guys fighting with four guys at the bar. And I'm like, go, I just, right into the middle. And I put my hands in between them, like, stop fighting, stop fighting. I get knocked down, land on a glass and slice my butt cheek open on a piece of glass, a piece of broken glass. I didn't have a butt cheek scar. piece of broken glass. I have a scar.

I have a scar on my butt because I've seen your butt. I need to see that scar. It's like very light, like whatever. I know where it is, but I thought I was going to have to go get stitches that night. I mean, it was crazy. I was crying. Everybody was crying. We couldn't like figure out where anybody was. Everybody had just like ran away. It was one of everybody was crying. We couldn't figure out where anybody was. Everybody had just ran away. It was one of the craziest nights.

Then, we had to gather everybody and we get in the limo and we're driving back to Lexington or Richmond where I was living at the time. I guess I was living in Richmond because I was at EKU. So we're driving back to Richmond and my ex is just sobbing crying in the freaking limo. And my sister who does not hold back on anything at all, she's like having like

taught him we had to pull over on the side of the road because he thought it was hyperventilating crying. So essentially what you're telling me is that you had a reality show you weren't getting paid Like it was Posted me epic and all that happened and like it was just crazy all my friends were like what is going on I mean the whole bar spot with each other over me get a shot bought from us bought for my birthday I mean, the whole bar's part with each other over me getting a shot bought from us, bought from my birthday. It was only because I had a big banner on my, like 21st birthday banner. So of course guys are gonna buy me shots like hello.

Hello. Yeah, that all happened on my 21st birthday. When did your birthday curse end? Gosh, I mean, all of my birthdays here have been absolutely wonderful and amazing. You're picky and choosy about who gets to come. Maybe that's why. Well, yeah, because like if people don't mix and things don't work, like I just

do not like on your birthday, like you deserve to not have drama on your one freaking day of the year. Do you know what I mean? I totally agree with you. One of the most stressful things about a new marriage is figuring out how to combine two entire lives into one. The one thing I found out that we were both more than happy to combine was our wireless plan with Mint Mobile. For a limited time, phone plans from Mint Mobile are $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan. That's unlimited talk, text, and data for just $15 a month.

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This is after my 21st birthday. I'm not sure exactly which birthday it was. It wasn't a super important, it was like in a 20. I wasn't, I was over 21. So we got a super important. It was like in a 20. I was over 21. So we got a VIP table. I think it was called, what was it called then? Trust. No, it wasn't called trust.

It was a bar in Lexington. Okay. And we had a VIP table and I had, I was a bartender then. So I mainly had cash, you know, you know, whatever's there. Like I didn't even have a card or anything. I just got all cash all the time. So I have in my wallet, like $700 to pay for the VIP table that we were having for my birthday that night.

She ballin' on a budget. Somebody stole my wallet out of my VIP section. Literally reached over, grabbed my wallet out of my purse and stole all that cash. So of course, as soon as I'm going to pay for the table, I notice that my wallet is missing and just like balling, crying in the bar, like freaking out. All my friends are having like scramble and like chip in to like pay for this bar tab.

If you guys could see the look on my face right now, my jaw actually hit the floor like, what, see you next Tuesday type of person would. It was awful. We were looking at the cameras and everything. Like the people were taking me in the back, like watching the table and stuff. And like we see somebody grab it.

So then I'm going around being like, we have the video tape. Like I'm trying to be like extra loud about it. So after my friends all had to chip in and I'm balling crying in the bar on my birthday, which is so embarrassing. The freaking, um, the wall against returned at the very end of the night. Stop it. It's very.

So in all the money was in there. Like, so I don't know what this person was doing. I don't know who it was, but they like ruined my whole entire night because this is I noticed it was gone. If you remember this night, you need to email in comment below and get on Brittany's next podcast because we want to hear from you why you stole it to begin with and why you decided to turn it back in. Cause thank you.

Yeah. Like why steal it and then turn it back in at the end of the night? Like was it somebody I knew that was being an asshole? Like, and that kind of like, what was it? Or did someone have a come to Jesus moment? Because I was going around saying security footage. I was so loud. We got security.

And really wouldn't even like actually see who did it. So that's really smart, though. Yeah. And ended up getting turned back in. So then I was like, do I pay all my friends back? But nobody asked me to do so. It's like, whatever, it's my birthday. Exactly. You've had birthdays from hell.

Yeah. Winter birthdays are hard. Yeah, and also like everybody wants to do like, draw January. Like I'm trying to have fun on my birthday and everybody's doing draw January. Every single time I've done Watch What Happens Live, I think maybe except for one time,

over how many, 10 years, Andy Cohen is sober. He's like, because I'm always there in dry January or around my birthday and he decided to do like dry February instead and I'm like, cool. So about my birthday, because you were sitting about your birthday. Yeah, no, I wanna know some of your worst ones and some of your best ones too.

Oh, okay. Because I love this, like, you want to know some of your worst ones and some of your best ones too. Oh, okay. Because I love this, like, you know, this is a whole birthday episode. So we did the one that I, about the house party, which I forgot was actually my birthday until I started telling the story. But since I've been in LA, since I've been on reality TV, most of my birthdays I've spent in New York doing Watch What Happens Live. Oh, wow. And usually it's when like a reunion is airing or a really bad episode is airing.

And I'm like, this is so fun. Thanks guys. I have to relive this. Oh, and Andy's Dead Sober. This is super fun. So none of those were really great. My favorite birthday was when we all went to Nashville. Oh my gosh.

Yes, that was so fun. We all went to Nashville and we saw Fleetwood Mac. Yes, that was awesome. That was by far my favorite birthday. That was such a good birthday. It was just, we had the money and like, if you guys think like we're millionaires and stuff off reality TV, you all are crazy.

I'll say it here first. But Brittany and I will speak for both of us. It's like when we started making money, we just get, we love to like pay back our families and like help people cause we weren't raised with money. Exactly. And so for me, that birthday, James May had done really well. That episode that aired and I'm just like, Vanderpump was great. And I'm like, I just want to treat as many people as I can.

And all my friends from Vanderpump flew out and some of my other friends that weren't on Vanderpump. And then I flew out, my mom, my niece, my mom's boyfriend, my godson's father, my best friend Jeff, like just so many people came. We had like 20 of us all in Nashville. And we got 20 tickets to Fleetwood Mac. And we had this amazing suite at the Noel Hotel

And it was just so much fun. That was fun. I'd never been to Nashville. So it was my first time in Nashville You know me. I was like, yes Like I'll show you everything. It was so fun. So that was my favorite birthday. Oh, yeah. Oh my gosh I'm so glad you brought that memory of sad note. That's also whenever we found my house. It literally. Jack's flew home early from my birthday party. Like one day early with you and he flew home just to go see the open house and FaceTime me.

And that's when we got the house. Yeah. Because I found it as we were taken off on Zillow. How crazy is that? That is so wild. Yeah. Like everything just like connects with each other. It's crazy.

It's wild. You know what? I'm like laughing right now because we're talking about some of your birthdays. Remember that birthday that we shot of Stossys on Vanderpump Rules where it was like the murder theme? Yes. And she had the bullet hole right in the middle of her forehead. Can I tell you, I just watched part of that scene today.

OK, because I forget exactly what happened, but I just remember. The reason I watched that today was because Luke's mom told Luke, she's never watched Van der Poem Pruel's ever, obviously, but now that Luke's on the Valley, she texts Luke today, she was like, I don't know, I was like bored, I had some time, started watching Van der Poem Pruel's and I'm like,

oh God, what season? Oh no, your boyfriend's mom started watching Van der Poem. He said season six, and I could not remember what season six was about. Yeah. What was season six? Well, it wasn't great for you. For me. Oh, God.

That was season six. Okay. Barf. So I'm thinking, what did I do in season six? What did I do? Oh, I threw a drink on James. Okay. Not so bad.

And then the birth that birthday scene, I was like just skimming through the episodes going, what happened? And that birthday came up of Stasi. Oh my gosh. It was so wild. I mean, the fact that like, everybody had that makeup on. It was like Halloween. Oh my gosh. And I remember I was like the only one who was allowed to go to both part birthday party. Yes. Cause it was split Tom and Ariana. Tom and Ariana had her birthday party cause Ariana and Stacey Stossi. Oh my gosh.

Ariana Stossi have the same birthday. So Ariana had like a queen, like queen birthday party or something. It was like, it was very like about Queens because I remember like for Stossi's I would like had by like throat cause it hurts was murder. And then I put on a crown and I was a dead prom queen. That's right. For Ariana's. So it like flowed like perfectly.

Which was so wild for season six, just thinking back because the beginning of season six, when we were all at your house for that big party, and then Ariana runs over to Tom Sandoval and like yells at him and I went with her Oh, and I told Luke Luke's like oh were you and Ariana friends then because Luke has never seen past season two Yeah, and I said well like we weren't but in that moment. We were we were we were very cool We were fine, right? You guys were just there for me at that moment

But we were so like stand tall for Brittany And I think that was our first moment of friendship because I wasn't at her birthday party. But after that moment, we were like, we're cool in real life too, right? Yeah. When did you guys actually start being, like you think that that was like one of the turning points was like whenever all that was happening with me?

I do. I think it was like when I started dating Carter and then she realized that I was actually in a happy relationship and no longer trying to like ruin her life. And then it was being because you were sort of the, you really were the glue, not sort of, you were the glue that kept the girl group together because everyone's hanging out with you and you were like, as long as you guys all get together, like get along together, then it's fine. Isn't that crazy? I feel like I'm always in that situation. Yeah. And I think of everyone always respects you. Well, let's, it's the same way on the valley.

Think about it. Like you're the glue that held, like holds the group together. And as long as everyone can respect that about you, I think the only time there's problems is when people can't respect that for you. For me, that's my issue. I get mad when I'm like, everyone grow the fuck up. Don't make this harder on Brittany. She's inviting you. If you can't keep it together, then don't come. Yeah.

Oh, I love that everybody has been, you guys have been awesome for me. Like absolutely amazing. Well, you make it easy. But oh my gosh, all these memories. I know. All of these memories. So many memories.

By the way, I do have to say really fast, we are going to have a Sunday, fun day birthday party on Sunday, obviously. Daytime. I'm turning 35. So what's better than a daytime party? Exactly. And the lines are playing. I know you're so excited.

My God. One person you're so excited. One person did want to know. Hold on, let me see. This is from Liz S. Rinn. And she says, who does Kristen want to face against the lions in the Super Bowl? That is so tough. That is so tough. So I would love for the chiefs to beat the Ravens. End of story, the chiefs are my, sorry, Luke, my second favorite team is on the Colts. I love the chiefs. I've loved the chiefs long before Travis and Taylor were dating.

Travis was my whole past though that was okayed by Luke. Before Taylor? Before Taylor. That is crazy. Because it was, I changed it briefly to John Mayer and he was like, no. You know that. He said, too many of your friends

have hooked up with John Mayer. So I said, what do you think about Travis Kelsey? And he was like, that's totally fine. Then Tay Tay started dating him. But I've loved, the Chiefs in general, I've been a fan for many years because of other friends. Hold on, quick side note really fast.

You know that I worked at Hooters with Maya, who won the dating show. No. Yeah, we worked at Hooters and Lexington together. Stop it. For years, yeah, we're still friends. The Kelsey dating show. The Travis Kelsey dating show.

She won, she was the girl from Kentucky. Yes, I am. You know they had somebody from each state. We worked together at Hooters. What? Yes, girl. Brittany. So little inside, girl. Brittany. So little inside scoop there.

Yeah. Isn't that so random? We have to have a side combo about this. But I mean. I could ask her what he was like in bed. You got to bring her on the pod. That's all I'm saying. You should bring back like some Hooters, girl.

Oh, for sure. For sure. Just like a Hooters podcast. Yeah. But I would, yeah. So I would love to see them play the chiefs for sure. It's like a Hooters podcast. But I would, yeah, so I would love to see them play the chiefs for sure. But I do have a sweet spot for Lamar Jackson because it with the Ravens because I just feel like he kills it. But yeah, I just sorry to my friends who like the Ravens.

I don't like the flippin Ravens. I know we're going to beat the 49ers knock on wood. And so I hope we play the Chiefs. Okay, well, I'm excited for you. I mean, I was always a bingles girl or a Miami Dolphins because you know, my nephew's father played for the Miami Dolphins for like 12 years. You're my bell, shout out.

Yeah. So I was always such a Dolphins fan, but obviously all Jax, you, Jenny, everybody was here this past weekend and we were watching the line. So of course I'm really fine with you guys. Thank you for that question. Thank you for caring. Yes.

Oh my God. We're really excited. Everything from Detroit just makes me so happy. I love my hometown. Yeah, it's gonna be great. And also you're obviously coming on Sunday to watch it at Jacks' and also celebrate my birthday. This is fun.

Yes, we'll definitely be there. The only reason we want it is if we get last minute tickets in San Francisco. Oh, I wouldn't even judge this. Otherwise I'll be there. Because we are doing, also we're doing a girls night, girls only tomorrow night. Like for my birthday, dinner and stuff,

and we're just gonna hang out and have like a fun little girls time. And like, you know, I want to do like karaoke and stuff at the house and just like have good old fun. A little incontour, a little Moana. Yes, a little, oh my gosh. Anytime I'm doing girls like karaoke, Moana, and conto songs always come up.

It's always like Disney, and then country, and then Lil Wayne, and then Miranda Lambert, and then. I feel like all of you girls are just like us. You know? When reality hits is brought to you by progressive insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to us talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping.

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Four years. Yeah. For it'll be four years. Well, time we air. Yeah. So it's like nerve wracking but it is just as exciting. You know what I mean? Because because we've been working now that we can say we've been working on this for so long and working at it and like doing these little like zoom interviews with producers and sort of building the show up internally. It's so exciting that it's finally here. I know. Because I had a moment last week, Britt, where I text you and I was like, oh, I didn't like

the way I looked or like I'm frustrated. People are saying this or saying that. And you went, you know what? We just have to be excited that it's finally here. And it really brought me back down to earth where I'm like, what am I pitching and whining about? You're right. Oh, I need to remind myself to be grateful and have gratitude and not suffer

in the, the bullshit. You didn't like how you looked in a photo or something, you know, like we, like, I, of course, I do those same things. Like we always get in our head and we think about like every single little comment that people are gonna make about us coming back on Bravo and about this and this and that. Like it's a lot of pressure sometimes, but at the same time, like just being so grateful

in the moment and like realizing how lucky we are. Like how many like percent of people get to do what we get to do. Yeah, you know. Like not opinion, sorry, let me back up. Get these options to do things like this, get these opportunities. Yeah. So it really did bring me back down to earth of my anxiety and then also complaining and like being frustrated and I'm like, we're so lucky.

So lucky. And I'm so grateful and that got me a lot more excited when I just like breathed through that. Yeah. That's what you gotta do sometimes whenever things Zotti takes over. Yeah. We just gotta be like, okay, think about what we're doing, think about how cool this is, think about what we got going on right now. And how hard we've worked.

Yes, we wanted to come back. So like, it's amazing that we are coming back. And I think that people are gonna love it and relate to the show so much because all the random like issues and personal issues with every single couple, you know, things that like we all go through as individual couples. Absolutely.

I think people are gonna really be like, oh wow, like I went through this and I relate to this. I felt like I got to be much more me in my relationship, in my friendships with people than I did at the end of my Van or Pump rules time. Yeah. You know, at the end, it was like, it was just different. Yeah, it was just different.

You know, but I think that it's going to be great. And I'm like, super excited for all of that. Me too. But I'm glad that it's happening. It's going to be great. And I'm like super excited for all of that. Me too. But I'm glad that it's happening. It's filed. So I did get a lot of questions about how you were feeling after the amiss carriage. Obviously I'm only bringing this up because you were so open and honest about

that, which I love because so many people go through this. And I think it's so great that you were so honest about your experience. Yeah. So a lot of people were just asking how you're feeling, how you're doing, and any future plans that you want to discuss up to you, whatever you want to say, obviously. Yeah, I think I didn't even realize how many people could relate to it until we decided to do it. And Luke and I decided to talk about it on our podcast, only because we literally didn't know how to go on with the podcast without bringing it up. We're like, how do we jump this hurdle without just laying it all out there and

having this one moment to just say how we feel? It wasn't for everyone else, it was just for us. And I hoped that it would help other people. And it really did. And it really, it blew my freaking mind, like how many people email, I'm talking like hundreds. No joke. Emails, texts, not texts, but like DMs and like messages and people just saying like this happened to me last week. This was happened to me a month ago, the last few days, a year ago. It was very wild to me. And then we even did a podcast at the very end of the year where it was like the top most Googled sex questions. And one of the questions, top 10 of all of Google of 2023 was can I have sex or one can I have sex after a miscarriage? Wow.

Which blew my mind. Cause that was something I Googled very much. So I was unsure. Cause you were wanting to like try right away. Right. And so, and we did. And we did try is right after my doctor said that it was safe to, we tried.

I ended up having my period, so it didn't happen. So Luke and I decided like, let's just take a minute and breathe and digest like the emotional and the mental and all of that and take a minute for ourselves. And then we'll try again. Yeah. And I know it's going to happen for you. You have the biggest heart. You're going to be an amazing mother. I've always thought that. But I appreciate you guys writing in about it. Like, it's really, really hard some days. And then some days it's not. That's the only way I know how to describe it.

But I started following, this is the beauty of social media that I wanna lend to people. Is that social media can be such a kind of shitty place. It can be dark and just mean. Trust me, we talk about that all the time. It can be such a kind of shitty place, right? It can be dark and just fucking mean. Trust me, we talk about that all the time. It can be fucking cool. But the beauty of social media was like,

after this happened and Luke and I put it on the podcast and it became more of a public thing. I had, there are certain social media accounts that are, you know, there's a niche for everything. And there were accounts that were literally about pregnancy loss and I followed them. They said they're following me and that pops up on my feed and I get to read these like kind of beautiful things like I understand you and it's okay.

Yeah. Motivate. They're kind. They're positive. They're uplifting and they're also like, it's okay to have a bad day and it's okay to feel this way. And it really does set the set my morning. If I read that that morning and I'm feeling badly

I'm like, you know what? It's okay that I don't feel great about this right now. My day is gonna go on and I'm gonna be okay Yeah, boom. So for sure. Just gotta stay positive. Yeah, stay positive Keep your it's not always easy, but it really is like I know it sounds so fucking cliche y'all stay positive be positive It's true that, you even just said how I think you feel better. Whenever we were talking about even like the show, like little things like that, like if you try to have a positive mindset,

it can like change your whole outlook on things. And knowing that there are other people, there's so many people out there. So just like reach out. Exactly. You're not alone. I love you too. Not alone y'all.

Can we also go go into something crazy? Everybody knows. I mean, this isn't that crazy, but for me, it's crazy. Everybody knows how much I love the office. Okay. I love the freaking office. Speaking of a birthday thing, my friend, what was it like whenever I was pregnant? You guys did.

It is your birthday that that Dubai like did for Kelly's birthday on the show. So I posted, I got a brand new Dwight shirt, which I'm still wearing right now actually, got a brand new Dwight Shrew shirt from the office and I posted it on my story. Dwight, actually, rain Wilson. I don't want to keep calling him Dwight. The amazing rain Wilson saw it and loved it. Actually, Rainn Wilson, I thought I would keep calling him Dwight, the amazing Rainn Wilson, saw it and loved it and I about died. Brittany, I about died for you.

Y'all, I about died. Right when I walked in and I saw Brittany wearing that shirt, I go, girl, oh my God, Rainn Wilson saw you in the shirt. He saw it and he loved it and I like that, like'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I go back and forth. But I've been like on a huge office kick. So like the office is just like always in the background. I got to sleep to it, like Cruz used to kick in my stomach whenever the theme song would come on. Like it was like, it's like for real, for real. So the fact that Dwight, who is like the best on the freaking show. It's a pinch me moment. Like, oh my gosh.

Yeah. I couldn't believe it. It's so cool. It's so cool. It'll never not be cool. It's always gonna be a pinch me moment. Like I cannot believe this is happening. No, I cannot believe this is happening. And it was just so funny.

I was like, oh my gosh, he saw it. This is crazy. Like it just made my day. So yeah, Dwight Shrut saw me in a Dwight Shrut shirt. And he likes it. Thanks, Rain. Thanks for making my best friend's birthday. Oh my gosh, Rain Wilson.

We love you. We love you. We love you. You are awesome. Okay, so since it is my birthday, you down to do a birthday shot chant with me. Absolutely. You know which one? Which one?

All right, we're gonna do this chant. We've done it on Vanderpump rules a couple times, but here we go. Take a shot. Take a shot. Take a shot like a bad bitch can't. If a shot. Take a shot like a bad bitch. Can't take a shot like a bad bitch. Can then get that mother.

Shot at your hand. Take a shot. Yeah. So yeah, that always gets us in the mood. It's like a hundred percent. One of my favorite things to pass that on to all your girls and your guys. I want the guys to start doing that. Me and my friends back home, we all do it.

Even my friends here all know it now too. Like it's like we came a whole thing. I want to see all of y'all posting these on your Instagram and tagging Brittany when it's your friend's birthday. Please, and also tomorrow for my birthday. For Brittany's birthday. This is part of my birthday present to Brittany. It's part of Brittany's birthday present to Brittany.

I want y'all to post these videos. That would be so cool. That would be absolutely amazing. Oh, my gosh, please. Let's make it go viral. Yes, let's do it. Make it go viral. Hashtag Brittany's birthday.

OK, so now I want to go into some questions from some fans. Let's do it. This is from Mo Gras. How did you meet your boyfriend? Luke and I met at what we met. Okay. Luke and I met technically a few years back in Denver. I had a boyfriend.

He was just like a friend of my friend's husband. That's that. Cut to a couple of years ago. We re-met at a wedding of my friend Rachel, Brittany and we're both friends with Rachel, and her husband, Greg, they got married, Luke and I stood up at a wedding together. I was recently broken up with, and that's kind of that.

And she just kind of came back with a boyfriend. Yeah, I came back with a non-boyfriend. I said he wasn't, we were not gonna date. She was saying, we're not gonna date for the longest time. And I was like, hmm. And then, you know, things just started picking up and picking up and picking up. After a million times of Luke coming to California.

I was like, um. They're like, that's your boyfriend. And he came to Mexico for she does wedding. Janet's birthday. Like a month and a half after we met again. He was just showing us all the things. But now the more I've gotten to know Luke, the more I love him.

So I'm so happy for you guys. I really am. He's a Midwestern babe. Yeah, he's a lot like me. He is a lot like you. In a lot of ways. And your whole family, like your whole family loves him. I'm like, that speaks every,

and my whole family loves him. Yeah. And I love that for you guys. Me too. I'm very happy for you. All right, another question from underscore. It's just Ava's. She says, do you have any regrets being on VPR?

Would you change your journey and never been on it? No, I mean, of course, I hate that. Of course we have regrets. Yes, like live life with no ragrats, ragrats. Exactly, the tattoo says. But I have regrets. There are things that I wish I hadn't have done. There are things that I wish I hadn't have done. There are things that I wish I had done differently, 100%,

but I don't regret being on Banner Pump rules. I would not allow me, the friends that I have now, the life, all the platforms that I have, of course. And as cheesy as you guys might think this is, but like even just the platform that we have to do charitable things or to like spread the word for our friends that need things or our families that need things, that is for me one of the best parts.

A hundred percent agree with it. And that's the positive part of social media. Like I was saying earlier, there are so many positive parts. Oh yeah. But there are a lot of memories that I wish I could erase. Trust me, same with me, exactly same. But like my whole life being from a Kentucky girl who never thought I would be on TV or doing anything like that,

like it changed my life. And like I've had so many amazing experiences. And like you said, the fact that we have these platforms and can like help people and do things like it means the world. Yeah, it really does. Okay, here's another question. Melissa underscoring Nicole, what are you most nervous about being back on reality TV?

Oh, shoot, girl. Everything. No. Um, there are, there are some things that I, that'll happen on this season of the valley that I'm like, damn it, Kristen, you know better. Like it did the work. You were in therapy. You don't, you don't lash out anymore.

I will say, Kristen made some good TV though. Kristen had some moments. Kristen made some good TV though, I will say that. I like crazy Kristen, I love her, but I'm like, she doesn't go here anymore. She doesn't go here anymore. You don't belong here, you can't sit with us. She's only allowed to sit with me when I welcome her.

And she just pops up sometimes. So you'll see. It's going to be great. We're going to get through it like every other hardship that we've ever had to go through on a TV show. People listening or watching like acting like their lives are perfect. Come on. Oh please.

Like come on. We all go through things in our lives. Imagine having a camera falling you whenever you're going through it. Like it's a whole different life. Yes. Um, but I think it's going to be so good. And, you know, I think I'm most nervous about crews being on the show and like people trying to judge that and the parenting aspect because obviously he's the most important thing in my life and I love him more than anything else in the world.

And people behind a computer have so many opinions about you with crews, all of our friends with their parenting. Exactly. And I just get to watch it from the outside and I want to like fight. Yeah. It's a hard. Y'all, if you are mean, I want to fight you in person. I'm telling you right now, like I will meet you in the back alley 3pm by the basketball court, whatever. If you're going to say, yeah, like I will fight

you if you speak about my any of my friends, parenting skills. Nobody's parenting skills, especially just from little clips you see on Instagram or like a little clip you see on a TV show. I think that's what worries me the worst. And also like Cruz is in speech there. I've been so open and honest about that. He's in speech therapy. He's in, we're putting him in a social skills class. He's in school.

He's doing amazing. He's two years old. But I think that that's like gonna be like the hardest part. Just like nobody should have an opinion about anyone's two year olds. Exactly, it's insane. And also he is the cutest and most perfect little boy in the whole world just saying.

He's perfect. All right. This is from hearts underscore yoga underscore. If she had to go on a desert island and could only bring the dogs or Luke, which would it be? Okay. Strangely enough, this is easy. Really?

I would bring Luke and I would send my dogs to their trainer because Luke would know exactly what to build, how to get off the island. He would forge all the food for me. He'd hunt the food for himself. He'd go fishing. He'd build a raft. He'd build a shelter. Like I would sit there and file my nails

with like a piece of wood or something. And he, I don't know, Luke, 100% Luke dogs go to the trainer. And because you're going to find your way back to the dogs, that's like your angle. I don't want to get back to the dogs. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm sorry, I'd be like, Luke, get us back to the dogs. He's like, all right, baby, got it.

Oh my gosh. Okay. I love this question. We're going to end it with this one. This is from the SAV Haven. Did you and Kristen hit it off immediately or did it take some time for your friendship to grow? You go first. We hit it off immediately.

Where were we at? What's the EPLP? EPLP. I met Kristen for the first time at EPLP. I remember what I was wearing and everything. It was like this baby blue dress that had like side boob cut out. And, oh gosh, it was from that brand American apparel that shut down, remember? and everything. It was like this baby blue dress had like side boob cut out. And um,

oh gosh, it was from that, that brand American apparel that shut down. Remember? I love when you say that brand American apparel. Well, remember, it was like so popular and then shut down. It was so popular. Believe it. Yeah. So it was like the sexiest dress. And I remember, and it was the first night I met you. And I was like so nervous because of course everybody was like already being like, well, I've got to go with her before. But I'm like, I always had to hear stuff like that. Which is so weird We didn't know each other it was years ago like who freakin care. Yeah, everybody has a past like you gotta get over that stuff Especially whenever you're older like yeah, so I was like nervous to meter

But we just like clicked instantly in the elevator we did elevator We took you well So you can't I forget y'all were coming from somewhere and you guys came and you go, do you want to do a shot with me at the bar? And I was like, I absolutely do. And then we did a shot and then we had to get, we got, cause we're on a rooftop. So we got an elevator to go downstairs and go somewhere. And we took a selfie in the elevator. Something. Yeah. But we took a selfie in the elevator and I have it. Yeah, we're so gonna show this selfie if you watch the clip on Instagram. Baby, you see that. Oh my gosh, so young, but I love you so much.

I love you so much. Listen, not to be, you're his wife, but I've always loved most of Jackson's girlfriends. Like, some of them were my friends first, and I've collected them, but he chooses really nice women. Then he chose you, and I'm like, that's it. That's my girl, that's the girl he's gonna marry.

There's no doubt, this is my new best friend. I'm stealing her. It was, I knew it that day. Yeah, I knew it that day. I was like, this bitch is ride or die. I love you so much, Kristen. I love you. Thank you so much, and happy birthday to me. Happy birthday! 35 I can't believe it. Oh my gosh. Tell people where to find you. You know where to find me.

You know where to find me at Christendode on everything and I'm trying to be veteran TikTok and please listen, subscribe, comment, sex love and what else matters. And of course the Valley. And of course, the Valley. And watch The Valley coming soon. We cannot wait. Okay, I love you so much. And thank you so much everybody for listening to this episode of When Reality Hits.

I love y'all, have a great week.