When Reality Hits with Jax and Brittany - Tom Schwartz: The Mediator
Episode Date: May 17, 2024Vanderpump legend Tom Schwartz swings by to serve as mediator between Jax & Brittany and discuss the VPR Season 11 Reunion! What is the job of a reality star? Is this the end of the show? Is Schwa...rtz moving in with Tom Sandoval? Will Tom join the cast of The Valley? PLUS: TOM & JAX HAVE A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!! Check out our great sponsors!! G-Defy: Need comfy shoes? Yse code "REALITYHITS" for $30 off orders of $150 or more at Gdefy.com Nutrafol: Got thinning hair? Get $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping at Nutrafol.com and use code "REALITYHITS" Shady Ray's: Need shades? Head to ShadyRays.com and use code "RealityHits" for $20 off polarized sunglasses! Quote today at Progressive.com to try the Name Your Price® tool for yourself!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
All right.
Hello everybody and welcome back to win reality hits with Jackson Brittany.
Hi everybody.
How's everyone doing today?
We have our wonderful best buddy, Tom Schwartz, wonderful best buddy.
Great intro to wait.
Am I supposed to name everything that you've done?
I want all the accolades, I want all the glory.
Vandapump rules.
Hype me up, make me feel appreciated.
Vandapump rules, OG.
Yeah, he's the Vandapump rules stud.
What do I say, bar owner?
Like, are you ever, when you go on podcasts,
people give you your accolades of what you've done?
You might as well just throw entrepreneur in there.
I'm just gonna say entrepreneur.
Everybody does it.
Just entrepreneur, we'll just leave it at that.
You may have seen me in a Coles commercial, Modelo.
I did an Adidas ad back in the day.
Did much background.
You were big, big background dogs in the day.
OG background.
I remember that Modelo commercial, actually.
I do.
I love you guys.
Speaking of commercials, I just saw Sheena and Katie's
Chili's commercial the other day.
That's cute.
It's really cute.
It was well executed. I got to give them props.
Yeah, I thought it was really good.
We've been eating at Chili's too recently.
We love Chili's. Jax, Brittany.
Chili's, you can't go wrong with Chili's.
So I guess right off the bat, I'm just going to say it,
how was the reunion?
You just gave me the Cliff Note version
of what you thought of it so far.
I mean, have you watched it all?
Well, it's funny because we're postponing filming this season. Yeah.
And there's been a lot of speculation, rumors afloat.
Is the show ending?
Is this the end?
The end of an era?
I personally, maybe I'm a little delusional.
Maybe I'm delulu.
I think we needed to let the show breathe.
I think we need a reset and maybe I'm delusional, but I feel like we're just getting started
on a new era.
I could be sorely mistaken, but the show.
Yeah, it's called The Valley.
That was a good one.
That's called The Valley.
By the way, I'm a fan.
And so now I finally know what it's like
to watch your friends on TV.
Because these are, if people don't know
that I'm friends with everyone on The Valley,
these are my friends too.
But now I know what it's like to watch your friends on TV.
It's a trip.
Because you know what's going on in our lives, but you don't really get to see every day
like what we're doing. That's what it was whenever we were off Vanderpump and we did
like our watch show on Peacock, like watching you guys and stuff. I was like, I didn't even
know how this stuff was going on. Like, wow, this is interesting. Or this is new.
Or like, oh my God, that happened. Yeah. But it's, um, yeah. But on that note,
yeah, listen, I think maybe I'm delusional. I still think BPR has a lot of life left in it,
but my mom hit me up this morning
asking me the same question.
This was so cute.
Mom, you're not gonna hit us, but I love you so much.
Happy Mother's Day.
She hit me up and she's like, fuck a wheat.
She calls me Bucky.
And she's like, what's going on with the show?
Is it gonna end?
And she's like, you know what?
And she's like, I couldn't get ahold of you,
so I asked the assistant on my phone,
she doesn't have Siri, but she has the Amazon one.
And it said, I'm tired of this question.
There is no indication that the show will be ending,
but it is uncertain.
Is it sentient?
Is artificial intelligence sentient?
I honestly think you're right.
I mean, honestly, where does it go from here?
I mean, let's be real, not everybody's hanging out
as much as they used to anymore.
I mean, people kind of are going off on their own paths
and doing their own thing.
I mean, look, I honestly would be very shocked
if Ariana came back to the show.
I'd be shocked.
She's got a lot going for her.
I mean, dude, does actually everybody still hang out
on a regular basis?
You think that are on the show?
I still text everybody except for Ariana.
I'm still blocked.
Ariana, it's time to unblock me.
I think though that it does, you're right, it does need a breather
because I think, I mean, God, it was such a tumultuous thing
with the Scandival thing and I feel like
just you needed time to take a breath.
Yeah, I think that's a good idea for the producers and stuff
because maybe now some of you guys can live
a little bit more life and then come back
and it's not all about Scandival anymore.
What is there to talk about right now?
I mean, seriously, what are you talking about?
There's a lot of good things happening.
I mean, I'm really, listen.
Nobody likes to talk about good, fun things.
They want drama.
I know, but dude, there's always gonna be drama
with our crew for friends. Yeah, always.
Something about her's opening.
We're doing it. Yeah.
We're in the midst of a renaissance
at Schwartz and Sandy's.
New food, new drinks, new music programs.
Yeah.
And new staff.
Maybe it won't be that long of a break.
Yeah, we'll see.
You know? We'll see.
But like you guys, you guys were on the show with me
for a long time. Honestly, I've been prepared. I've been mentally preparing
for the show to be over since like season eight. I mean, 11 seasons is unheard of these
days. Let's make it. Let's make it a no more than a Baker's. Let's go for 20. 20 sounds
good. Go for 20. Let's be honest, the bank accounts like that. Well, how are you feeling
like on the finale, they kind of did like a little montage of like everybody individually like old
Flashbacks and stuff like how did you feel seeing that that did that make you feel some type of way?
All the feels man. It's like I like it just reminded me how much I love everybody
Yeah, I know what sweet at times. I've hated and people we've we've had our falling outs. What's up, Cruz?
the
Ever do the podcast. He's up, Cruzy? Shout out to Cruzy. Does Cruzy ever do the podcast?
He's just in the background like, hey!
Well, no, yeah, man.
I think I cried like three times at the finale.
And yeah, it just reminded me how fortunate we all are.
Dude, how many groups of friends,
first of all, at one point, every group of friends
in the midst of one of their funniest moments,
you know, like fever pitch, they're like, dude, what if we
had a show together?
We should be on a show.
Yeah.
That happened with us.
I know.
That happened with us, man, for 10 years.
I remember saying that stuff whenever I was in, like,
high school, because the Hills was really popular then,
or Laguna Beach, actually, was really popular.
Me and all my friends used to always be like,
we should have a reality show.
Never thought in a million, I was just in Kentucky then.
I wasn't even in LA.
But you know, it is something that everybody says
whenever you're growing up.
And we actually got to live it.
And we got to spin off to live it.
And we got to spin off.
Jackson Briggs goes Kentucky.
Are you talking about the Valley?
The Valley, yeah, oh yeah, both.
Yeah, and I'm hoping that you'll be a part of
our next season as well too.
But random question.
Are you moving in with Tom?
What is the deal with that?
As of now?
What is it? Because it was very open ended on there.
Well, as of now, it was only episode one.
I don't think they're going to ask it again, though.
I'll be honest.
I'm not sure yet, but I was looking I was looking.
This is crazy.
But I was thinking about getting a cool little loft, like an artist loft in the
valley, because, you know, I have property in Florida. I'm finally going to develop it. I got a contractor. This is crazy, but I was thinking about getting a cool little loft, like an artist loft in the valley
because I have property in Florida,
I'm finally gonna develop it.
I got a contractor, I'm gonna build a house for my family.
I feel really good about that.
It's gonna be a dream come true.
Usually I don't like to talk about things before you do them.
I feel like it's a jinx, but this one I'm doing
and I'm really stoked about that.
So I might downsize.
Listen, I don't know if Tom is gonna be able to keep the house or not
It's still still up in the air. It's still up in the air. Well, like I wouldn't mind helping him
I understand like the optics are terrible. We don't eat. We don't dumb living together
I just he's in a pod
But I also think if you're gonna you know go in in a house, you got to get something out of it, too
So if he does sell it there's got to be some something there for you as well
You know because you're helping to pay his mortgage
at the end of the day.
Look at you all, smug and your big, beautiful,
appreciating assets sub 3% mortgage.
No, trust me, we're going through things,
so we know everything.
I'm hugging Brittany because I forgot.
But I gotta say, I talked about this
on Kristin's podcast today.
You guys are handling co-parenting
so well and in the face of public scrutiny, you guys, I gotta say, you're handling it
really, really well.
Like we can still be around each other.
Like we can be like have best friend moments where we just like sit and watch TV and then
the next minute we're like biting each other's head off.
So it's literally just up and down roller coaster right now.
You make me cry.
That's so beautiful.
It really doesn't seem like we're separated because we literally see each other every
single day.
We haven't kissed each other in four months.
Hey, you know, I'm an advocate for healthy separations, time apart, divorces.
Okay.
All right.
That was...
We should have filmed this one.
Yesterday she goes, hey, can you give me a hug?
I leaned in and let him kiss me on the cheek. We should have filmed this one. Yesterday she goes, hey, can you give me a hug?
I leaned in and let him kiss me on the cheek.
Give me a hug.
I go, all right, I'll give you a hug.
Like patting on your back.
But Brittany's blushing.
I'm going to give the play by play.
Jax is semi-aroused.
Oh my God, that's hilarious.
That's the most action we've given each other in a while.
That was riveting. You guys given each other in a while.
That was riveting.
You guys should have an OnlyFans, or are you just like, just softcore OnlyFans?
Softcore, pet kiss on the cheek.
Have you gone on any dates?
Why are you asking me this on a podcast?
I don't want to talk.
I'm going to moderate this actually.
No. I'm just curious. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna moderate this actually.
No.
I'm just curious, I mean,
Ken, you're allowed to, you're just,
I'm just curious if you have.
No?
I said no, 20 times.
Jax, there were, well, there were guidelines.
As long as he's not taller, more good looking,
and more wealthy.
Yeah, yeah, that's the guidelines.
As long as he...
Those are, those are my only guidelines.
They can't be taller or more handsome.
Or wealthier.
Okay.
Maybe wealthier, but not taller or more good looking.
Because that's impossible according to Jack.
So anyway, to answer your question, it's still up in the air moving in with Tom.
Yeah, it's still up in the air.
But listen, if he needs me, I will help him because if he...
Listen, hypothetically, if he does do a cash out refi, he sub three percent right now too he's gonna be seven eight nine percent oh yeah his
mortgage is gonna double me oh like more than double so if while I'm building my
house in Florida from my pops my mom or my family I wouldn't mind throwing him
some money even though I won't be building sweet, sweet equity.
Okay, well you also have to think about, because I've noticed this before just being around Tom
and then they were talking about in the reunion,
he is not very clean in this house.
So he-
Never been.
Okay, I know.
We all live together, he's sporadically dirty.
I will defend him like once he-
So it's not all the time like that?
Yeah, when we all live together,
like Tom will let it get to the point where it looks like you're an episode of hoarders
I've seen it like that same with Ariana
But they will clean that shit spick and span like Tom will get down on the floor with a toothbrush
Once he does clean you right Jax
Maybe like one of the things if you move in you have to hire like a housekeeper
Yeah, for sure like oh that would be the main thing for me.
Oh my God, am I gonna be the housekeeper?
All the stuff piled up and packed up
in the corners all over.
I need another job soon, so maybe.
Oh my God.
Can I be on your podcast?
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Can I just say though, so far what I've seen, I think the way Tom is handling himself on the
reunion, just the way his composure is, and I think the way he's answering questions, he's not
really fired up. He's just kind of letting the questions come to him. And then he's kind of,
he's very calm when he's answering, unlike the past reunions where he gets really fired up and really aggressive and coming at people
and the veins are popping out he's really doing a good job of just keeping it together i think like
he's just kind of letting the questions come and he's kind of like it's almost kind of like he's he
took something before this because he's just kind of like he's just there you know what i'm saying
he's not really he's not really you know what i'm saying the past he's always like You do this but this but that he's not really doing that so far. He wasn't hyper defensive
I think he almost lost his cool one time. I think in the last part of the reunion. Okay, I didn't get that
I don't remember the specifics
Yeah, but I think he kept his composure and I will say like relative to you guys remember last year's reunion
Yeah king crazy
Diabolical yeah, this one pretty civil, but raw and heartfelt
and very uncomfortable at times.
Kristen said it felt very final. That was her words.
I think, listen.
For the finale, not for the reunion.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
That's what she said.
Yeah. I mean, you know, it's like, Jax, before we started the podcast, we were talking about
like, you know, when you do reality TV, there's like this uns there's unspoken rule that you have to bring him and you have to be
radically honest. But like the first part of doing reality TV,
or the first rule is you don't talk about what you have to do to make a good
reality show. Like we have an understanding that we go in there,
we remove our sensors,
we have uncomfortable conversations that we would prefer to put off probably
forever. But ultimately their conversations,
their organic real conversations that need to be off, probably forever. But ultimately, they're organic, real conversations that need to be had.
They're healthy conversations, just we do it in a condensed timeline.
And I think the lines got blurred a little bit because it's like, you know, the fourth
wall was broken a lot in our finale.
Like Lala's talking about show up, do your job, and there's no doubt about it, unequivocally,
Lala does her job.
But I don't know, when I think about it as a job, it feels like it kind of detracts away from the reality a little bit these are
my friends I love these people I've grown up with these people and I don't know man
for the first time ever like the lines have been blurred a little bit because I totally
understand it.
I think it's important to break the fourth wall especially on a show like Vanderpup and
the Valley like they let us break the fourth wall too. And I think it's necessary because
we've already been on TV for so long.
It's not like when you just first started out
and you really were waiting tables all the time.
And it's a different dynamic.
Now, I mean, you guys are getting followed
with people with their cameras out
the whole time you're filming.
Now, it's a whole different life than it was 10 years ago,
11 years ago when you started.
I like when they do.
I like when the producers talk during interviews,
like they'll answer questions and stuff.
I like that because then it becomes more real
and people know, they know, you know, what's going on.
They know obviously this is a reality show.
They know where we work and what we do.
So breaking the fourth wall at this point in the game,
I think is smart.
Yeah, I think it's a good idea.
And I also did the after show with Walla.
So I got to hear her ramping and raving about this whole,
the finale and how like she was screaming at
Ariana and stuff and I think her points were valid
But I also think that Ariana the gray walling or gray stoning like Tom at the end and not wanting to have that conversation
I think it was earned in light of the such fucking crazy. Yeah, I mean it was horrible what she was put there
I of course see both sides and I'm sure you're like that to me and you were so much like in these ways
It's way up my ass Of course, see both sides. And I'm sure you're like that to me. And you are so much like in these ways.
It's way up my ass.
You're so much alike when it comes to that.
We're people pleasers and we just I don't really like the confrontation, whatever.
But like I get what Lala was saying, because I was in the after show with me
and she was like, Brittany, you, for example, like whenever I was cheated on,
I still filmed and did.
I know I know I'm not comparing it by any means.
What Arion went through was way worse. I'm not saying it by any means, what Arianna went through was way worse.
I'm not saying it's the same at all.
This is just what Lala said.
She was like, but you still came, filmed, did what you had to do, blah, blah, blah.
And of course I took him back, completely different situation.
But I get what she was saying, like when you have to put your life out there and this is
what has gotten you this far.
So she had like, of course she was like heated and feeling some type of way about it. But then again,
Arianna absolutely hates Tom Sable. Yeah.
So she doesn't want to talk to him.
It's our job to live our true, true life. Yeah. But, um, that's the thing, man.
That's, I think, I think it will be kind of polarized at the end.
I think it would be a mixed interpretation of, of,
of the ending of our finale. And it's like, I don't know, man.
It's like, yeah, when you say it explicitly,
when you start talking about doing your job,
show up, do the work.
I get what you're saying.
Oh, I'm like, I scringe, I'm like,
you guys are my friends, these are real,
these aren't storylines in a fictional TV show.
Exactly. This is my life,
and I feel like it really detracts from the authenticity.
I think Lala was more worried, like,
are we gonna get another season? Like, if we're not talking and more worried, like, are we going to get another season?
Like if we're not talking and hanging out, like you just never know.
She's right.
Everything Lala said is right.
It's up in the air 24 seven.
Yeah.
But also you can't, you can't, you can't deny what, what Ariana said to you.
Yeah.
Like if Ariana was like, I definitely just do not want to talk to him.
Like you said, that's how she felt.
They can't force somebody to do something they'd really, really
don't want to do, even though.
Like if she shrugged her shoulders, it was like, you know what?
And it's my job.
I don't know what that would have been.
It would have been better.
Do I want that? Yeah.
Does the audience want that?
That's a good point. I didn't think of it like that.
I don't know.
Because then I feel a little too forced.
Yeah. I mean, I was anticipating that conversation, too.
Like I can take myself out of the show and be a fan.
I love it. I love watching Vanderpump Rules.
If I can fast forward through my parts. Yeah. I cannot. I like watching myself on TV. Oh, it's the worst. You think you love yourself.
Well, you think what about me who my whole face has been frozen to almost the entire
season of the freaking Valley. Watching myself back has been freaking misery. I'm like, are
you kidding me? That is bad. I've seen you in a lot of memes, Brett. So many memes.
We talked about that this morning on Dr. Lakey's podcast
and how funny it was.
And you know, like I said, he did a great, great job.
We just did the timing was just wrong.
No, he literally, he said it perfectly.
You guys have to listen to Dr. Lakey's podcast
that we did it.
He explains what happened.
He hit these two nerves, which is very easy to do
and what I had done in my chin.
So I had a palsy is what he called it.
And you really did.
Yeah.
No, like it like he hit these nerves like because it's like almost impossible not to.
And so I had a worse reaction than like a normal like somebody that that didn't happen
to it would have been healed a lot faster.
But he warned me it could happen before I was well aware.
We just both of us just didn't think
that it was gonna happen.
So here I am for the rest of my life
stuck with season one of The Valley.
I just gotta make fun of myself, whatever.
I love your attitude about it.
You just gotta make fun of yourself.
It's okay, what is it?
And we love Dr. Lincoln Payman, they do great work
and we'll keep going back to them.
Hell yeah, I'll be coming back next season snatched.
Not right before.
Zach, did you put a good word in today
because my mom is like,
yo, what's up with that facelift?
My mom is like, I didn't need a discount.
Are you still wanting to do that with your mom?
Yeah, I'll actually, you know what I totally forgot
and we were with Dr. Leckie today,
but yeah, I'm sure Dr. Leckie would love
to take care of your mom for sure.
So since we were talking about Tom Sandoval,
I know that's gonna be annoying
that you're always asked questions about him, since we were talking about Tom Sandoval, I know that's gonna be annoying that you're always asking questions about him,
but I truly wanna know,
since Sandoval has been finally dying down,
like I know you're still thick in your season,
but I feel like after this,
it's gonna go away a little bit,
but since it's finally dying down,
do you feel like your partnership with him
has gotten stronger, like with the restaurant and everything?
Because I know that was such a hard time for you as well
in the beginning.
Yeah, of course. Listen, there was, man, I floundered the past few years, just like,
it was just everything happening. It was like compounding negative things in my life, you
know? And I, I, I, I, I spiraled for a while, you know, with the family stuff, the divorce,
then all of a sudden, like we just get this place open, we finally get it going. Just imagine, like, Jax,
imagine finally getting, except we, like, we over leveraged ourselves in that
bar. We put so much money in there, we were, dude, we were way behind schedule.
We finally get it going and things are going smoothly, starting to make some
money. And then all of a sudden, you know, it's like scan of all hits. And
it's like, dude, we just kind of got, and it was a fucking shit show there on after,
and it's like, it was hard not to be resentful of Tom
for jeopardizing my half million dollar investment,
whatever I put in.
It's a lot of money to me.
No, it is, it is.
Man, I can't even, gosh.
I don't think it like that, because I'm fortunate,
I didn't really have to put any money into my bar,
but man, I can't imagine going through that,
and then kind of going through that with your friend, because's your friend but you know you understand what he's going through
and then he kind of takes off and does his own thing and kind of leaves you to kind of
fend for the place and it was just it was a bad time I mean I saw you're spiraling for
sure.
It's hard not to.
You witnessed the first hand Jax but I'm really fucking happy to say that me, Tom, Greg,
Schwartz and Sainy's like we are a united front now. We text on a regular basis almost every day.
We call each other.
There's no passive aggressive stuff.
We're not dwelling in the past.
We're looking forward to the future.
We're rebuilding, not technically rebranding,
but in a sense, we are kind of rebranding.
And man, I gotta say it, it feels good.
I literally just got off the phone with Tom
on the way over here.
We had a great conversation about,
just by the way, like we're gonna be doing,
I know you guys do watch parties,
and I always mean to come to yours afterwards.
Is it dueling, watch parties?
Yeah.
It's good for both, for people that live over there.
Yeah.
Switch weekends, they can go to yours one weekend,
mine one weekend, it's whatever.
No, it's not competing, it's just we're both on TV shows.
We both have bars, and we both want us to be successful.
I love your bar.
Brit, I love your bar too.
Thank you.
No, but it's been doing really well,
there's like, yeah man, we have momentum again
and I know there's only two episodes left of the reunion,
but we're gonna actually,
cause I've never seen most of the
Vanderbilt rules episodes of my life,
I would say 95%.
Me either.
We're gonna do a retrospective
and watch some iconic vintage episodes and hopefully get some special guests once in a while
Yeah, it was hard for you guys on Tuesdays, but like every once in a while
We want to just do a little retrospective especially in lieu of you know, not a lieu of no BravoCon
Yeah, and well that kind of segues into our next conversation which you can talk about. Oh, okay
That was a great segue. Because we're not having BravoCon this year and everybody's asking how come we're not doing it.
It's not up to us, but I think the network wants to concentrate on the Olympics,
and which is fine, whatever. It's a bummer because BravoCon is a lot of fun.
I mean, you feel like a superstar going to that thing.
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I'm gonna check on the baby while you two
talk about the new big thing.
Okay, yeah, so I'll let Tom start off,
because we're really, really excited about this,
so take it away.
Honestly, yeah, we put a lot of work into this.
We've talked about it for a while,
but now feels like the perfect time,
the opportune time, do something special.
You know what?
We're gonna do a bar crawl.
We are doing a bar crawl, y'all.
We're gonna do a bar crawl.
You know what we're gonna do?
We're gonna be cruising the bars in the city stars,
a little van der Krol bliss on Route 66.
A little West Coast toast, booze cruised with the bruise.
That was all for memory.
Just kidding, I'm staring at my phone.
No, but man, we want to do a crawl.
It's like a no-brainer.
It's a no-brainer.
We're going to start at the mothership in the back alley at Sir.
Okay?
I've always thought of this.
We've talked about it a long time because every time someone comes to one of our bars,
like, yeah, we're making our rounds.
We're trying to hit all the bars.
And we're like, why don't we help these people out
and knock this all out in one trip?
And that way you get the best of every bar you get.
So Sir, Tom Tom, Swartz and Sandys, and Jaxx's.
And we're gonna finish, okay, yeah, in each spot,
listen, okay, I'm gonna tell everybody what's included, okay?
You get a designated seat on a party bus,
we're gonna have welcome drinks,
we're gonna have exclusive swag bags, really cool merch. At each spot, you're gonna have a designated seat on a party bus. We're gonna have welcome drinks. We're gonna have exclusive swag bags, really cool merch.
At each spot, you're gonna get one drink
and some delicious food to nosh on.
Super stoked about that.
Unlimited selfies, ask me anything.
Abuse me and abuse me.
I am yours for the day.
Unlimited selfie seat, that's just cost.
That's worth the price of admission right there.
Listen, how much do people pay for a cameo?
200 bucks, I don't know. books right yeah you're gonna get to
hang out with us all day four different spots and we're gonna have some
hopefully some guest appearances saying of all well saying of all mean you were
launching the first one Jack right Tom's gonna be out of town okay you guys
tentatively June 6 okay we're gonna have people from Vanderpump rolls and the
valley from time to time exactly man We're gonna start where it all started at sir at sir the back parking lot. We're gonna. We're gonna be on the bus
We're gonna have a little maybe a little shot ski. Maybe like a glass of champagne
Also while we're on the topic if you don't drink you're not excluded. You're included man
You can be California sober. You cannot drink at all. We'll have some alternative beverages. We'll have mocktails, but like yeah
this is gonna be cool.
It's gonna be really intimate, super fun,
and by the way, I asked Katie
if they wanna include something about her,
and then she hasn't got back to me.
I know they're only open during the day,
but I don't want people to think that we iced them out.
Because I'm so proud of Ariana and Katie,
but it's just like, yeah.
So maybe something about her,
but we're gonna start at Sir Walk Up North on Robertson. We're gonna stomp, well, not stumble. I don't wanna, by the's just like, yeah. So maybe something about her, but we're gonna start at Sir Walk Up North on Robertson.
We're gonna stomp, well not stumble.
I don't wanna, by the way, moderation people.
Yes.
We gotta be cool here.
We gotta be cool here, yeah.
But no, we're gonna walk up, we can take some selfies
at something about her, and hopefully we're gonna get them
in the mix, we're gonna go to Tom Tom.
By the way, you know where you can go cheese balls at, sir.
Goat cheese balls is a given.
And pump-tinis.
And pump-tinis.
And we'll make you some. Beer cheese. we'll make you some drinks, beer, cheese.
We're putting together a menu right now, you guys.
We just finished the logo today.
And Tom-Tom's been working really, really hard
on that logo.
Our group chat is going bananas with different ideas
and designs.
And then the end bar will be my bar, yeah?
Jax's will be the end, the end place.
Hopefully everybody's not hammered by then and they can enjoy some. No, we're gonna end and then the end bar will be my bar. Yeah, Jax's will be the end the end place Hopefully everybody's not hammered by them and they can enjoy some no, we're gonna preach moderation. We're gonna have fun
We're gonna get a little lit, but we're gonna practice moderation
We got some great sponsors. I don't know if I can announce them yet. If you're not certain, let's not announce them
Yeah, well, maybe not some like what I'm super stoked. You're gonna stay hydrated
We're gonna have delicious snacks along the way. It's gonna be fun. Like I said, and Jax, I'm hoping we're still working this out,
but I'm hoping we can do karaoke to finish off the day.
That would be an awesome idea, karaoke.
That's what we gotta do, yeah.
We gotta finish off with karaoke.
That would be a really, really good idea.
And like I said, everybody's been dying
to go to all the bars, and I think you get to be able
to knock it out with all of us,
you get a little bit of everything from every bar.
It's pretty intimate, by the way,
so the capacity on the bus is 50 people.
Sometimes it'll be less, sometimes it'll be more.
Yeah.
Like, and listen.
So this is the trial run, right?
This is our trial.
This is the trial run.
You're gonna see the price.
It's a little pricey, but you're getting limited edition
merch that you can only get on the trip.
You get to hang out with us all day.
Drinks, food. Drinks, food.
It's the real deal, man.
Bus. We're gonna make this special.
We got a party bus.
Yeah, I mean, think about it.
You're like, basically get taxied around. You're getting tax taxied around the city and you get all the food and drinks somewhere
Okay, that sounds like a lot of fun, and I'm sure I'll hop in well Brittany
I'll hop in here and there we need you as the Toastmaster. Who's
Okay, so event bright okay again
We this is this is, this is a trial.
Hopefully the first one goes really well
so we can keep doing these for you guys.
So where are people, the first one is what date?
So, all right, tentatively.
Tentatively.
Not official, tomorrow should be official, June 6th.
June 6th, everybody.
Jack Taylor, Tom Schwartz, it's going down,
starting at the motherland.
I'm sorry, where do we get the tickets?
Eventbrite. We will have a link we get the ticket right we will have a
link in our bios we'll have Jax will have a link in our bios we'll do a little
post here we have some a few things we have to finalize before we can post it
make it official but um I'm super stoked like and as time goes on you know what I
mean we're gonna have really cool merch that you can only get on the crawl yeah
and little trinkets Ch chotskis, and...
This is the trial run.
Hopefully this goes really, really well.
We're really excited about it.
It'll make summer a lot of fun.
That's another thing, like, I'm hyped for summer.
Yeah.
I'm hyped for summer.
I mean, who knows?
Maybe we can even include this on Valley next season.
That's what I'm saying.
I mean, because, you know, we go back to filming this summer.
Yeah.
We could take the crawl on tour.
That would be awesome.
We could hit the Vegas spots with Lisa's spots.
We'd go to New York.
By the way, you know what's crazy?
You know what's crazy?
I got invited to go to this thing in New York
celebrating Andy Cohen and watch What Happens Live.
I've been on Watch What Happens Live 15 times.
Wow.
You've probably been on more than me.
I gotta think about how many times I've been on.
I don't even know yet.
I've been on it like six or seven times.
Oh, more than that.
No?
I mean.
15 times.
I've done it mainly with you.
It's what, two or three times per season, right?
Yeah, so it's about right.
I think I did three the year I got married,
which is crazy to think about.
I love being in that seat and thinking,
Will Smith sat here, Cher sat here.
I was on with Nicola Coughlin.
That was like awesome.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, like Bridgerton's here.
I come out and they're all over the place right now
because it's like her storyline this season.
Yeah.
So I was like, this is freaking awesome.
You guys.
She was so much fun.
What else is going on?
Okay, so.
Oh shit.
I was gonna get back into some reality stuff really fast.'s do it. Who do you think brought if you had to pick one person who brought it this reunion?
Um, I would say one person who brought it la la everybody brought
I'm actually proud of everybody the lame Schwartz answer if I had to pick one person
I would say la la and Ariana la la and Ariana. You say Ariana, I say Ariana. Oh, shit, I get shit for that.
I've even got people that wrote in,
were like, why is he the only one
who pronounces Ariana's name like that?
Wait, what is it?
They were like, why are you the only one
who pronounces her name like that?
I say Ariana?
Yeah.
Sorry.
I say Ariana, I don't know which one's.
I'd like to issue a public apology to one person.
I won't name her name,
but she gets very annoyed when I say Ariana.
She gets annoyed too?
Yeah.
Okay, well then that means you're saying it wrong.
Yeah.
Okay, so we're saying Lala, which I already knew.
She is something else.
Yeah.
She's a little spitfire.
She's a force of nature.
Love her, absolutely love her.
Have you been watching The Valley?
You said that you have a little bit.
Yeah, I gotta get caught up.
I've seen the first three episodes. Okay, so out of the new people well, cuz you know, we were the OGs this time
Oh me I was an OG. Who do you think is bringing it from the new the new couples? Um,
Dude, I'm so fascinated with Jesse and Michelle's dinette. Yeah, I mean, it's kind of sad, but it's like, man, it's entertaining.
I know there's a human cost here.
There's a human cost.
Yeah.
I know these people, like I'm friends with them,
but it's like, it's entertaining.
And I love watching Danny and Mia's,
they're so cute together, man.
Yeah.
They're so cute.
But everybody's-
Until Dark Side comes out.
Oh.
Dark Side Danny.
People haven't seen it yet.
Okay, they're a great couple though. Danny, I love you. They're a great couple, they're yet. Okay. They're a great couple though
Yeah, they're a great couple great knee is amazing
Yeah, I mean I just love that she was able to like
Like I think she was like five weeks postpartum with twins like that is a strong woman and to share her postpartum journey
I'd like him and all of her I'm so glad that they were able to share all that you know well said it makes our show
So relatable like that and all of her, I'm so glad that they were able to share all that, you know? Well said. It makes our show so relatable.
People are really responding to that.
Like that, yeah.
The fighting with the marriages, it's all super real.
Trying to have kids, you know, yeah,
we wanted to do something that people could resonate with.
So speaking of, I got a lot of people asking,
do you want kids?
Okay, Kristin Doty. Did she ask you that too. Probably cuz a lot of people probably asked her as well. Yeah, I want kids
Yeah, I think you'd be a great dad. I just I know I'm gonna be a good dad
Yeah, I'm not always the most confident in myself and other aspects of life, but I know I'm gonna be a great dad
You will thank you, Brett. I think you will
I think you'd be a great dad. Yeah, when's it gonna happen?
You will I think you'd be a great dad. Yeah, when's it gonna happen?
Son I know are you gonna pull a pull a lot? No, well, how would that work?
Yeah, I guess you could do that yeah, yeah
Yeah, it seems like you got a lot going on though right now with the house and all this and building and get the bar back On track though. Yeah, it's probably But I want kids, I do. I hope that happens for you one day,
because you will be a great father.
Okay, so I have a fun question.
If you had to pick one season
of all of your Vanderpump Rules seasons,
what would be your favorite season of all of them?
Wait, the year that we went to New Orleans,
I had my bachelor, bachelor party.
Was that the same year I got married?
Yeah.
Oh, that year.
That year, yeah.
That was, my dog Kingsley is looking all over Tom's face while he's trying to talk. Your bachelor party was, wasn't that year, that year. Yeah. That was my dog. Kingsley is licking all over Tom's face. What is John?
A talk party was, wasn't that like my wedding, even though me and Katie,
we didn't make it obviously spoiler alert, but like that was my favorite.
The bachelor party was kind of disastrous as well.
It was probably my worst showing.
Like when you're sitting on,
when you're sitting on that toilet with a cigarette or something in your mouth,
Oh, I thought you were were gonna be the prettiest girl
and you ended up being the ugliest girl.
Brett said what we were all thinking.
She did not mince words.
I was ugly.
And you're just sitting on the toilet
and Tom like kicks in the door and is like,
he's a battered wife.
Yeah, you and Katie were fighting
that entire bachelorette party.
And by the way, that's the drunkest
I've ever been on camera in my life. Like that was crazy. Y'all were fighting the whole time. I entire time. And by the way, that's the drunkest I've ever been on camera in my life. I, like, that was crazy.
Y'all were fighting the whole time.
I was drinking Four Locos.
And if you know what Four Locos are,
those were dangerous back in the day.
I mean.
But the wedding and stuff was beautiful.
That was a good season of TV no matter what, you know?
It was so fun, man,
just having all my closest friends up there.
Yeah.
And it's like, listen, it didn't work out. I'm not bitter about it. But it was good while it fun, man, just having all my closest friends up there and just like, listen, it didn't work out.
I'm not bitter about it.
But it was good while it lasted, man.
We had a hell of a wedding.
Two weddings.
Yeah, two.
We wrapped both of them.
Yeah.
And I love that.
Jax, did you have any other questions
before we get into fam questions?
I think that's it, I'm on the show.
I mean, we're still watching the reunion,
so I still don't really,
I gotta watch the rest of the reunion.
Yeah, I mean,
By the way, you can watch every Tuesday at Jackson's.
Or, and I'm just throwing this out there, or,
Or, or,
Short to say this,
we both have watch parties going on.
Yeah, we do.
And we pop into each other's.
We do, we do.
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I'm going to go with some fan questions that wrote in for you, Tom.
You ready?
All right, this one's from tiara underscore for a day f. Mary kill
This is the only part that's the only time this name is gonna be mentioned on this pod need the fit Lala Sheena Joe
Can
Kill I would kill Jo, first of all. Chill.
You guys.
Just one quick answer.
I can't.
Okay, he plays the fifth.
Alright, Faith M. Jarv.
Schwartz, what is your, actually your real dream job?
My, alright, I think my very first dream job
was to be a professional baseball player.
I wanted to be a pitcher or a center fielder.
After that, probably acting.
And oh no, my first, first job,
I wanted to be like Steve Irwin.
I wanted to be a herpetologist and then a baseball player.
And then I wanted to be an actor, but not just any actor.
I wanted to be on a procedural like CSI Miami,
which Jax did a ton of background for.
Look out for him.
Large background actor for the CSI franchise.
He literally showed me a photo today
of him in the background of CSI.
And he was like, I know there's not a camera on me,
but he had like this like, he had no facial hair
and just like this one little like weird,
quirky grin in the background.
He was like, look, do you see me?
Do you see me?
It's like putting a yellow Ferrari
in a background commercial.
I got talking about the wedding.
You're just too large and tan and unruly.
Have you ever seen Black Sails?
No, not yet.
Okay, well there's this actor on there
who looks just like Jax.
It's hilarious.
Oh my God.
Pre-nose job?
Let me see.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, that was pre-nose job.
By the way, we also clarified that today.
I only had two nose jobs, by the way, people.
I don't know where we got to four.
I think every season just one got added.
But yeah, for the record, I've only had two.
The only reason I had two is because I didn't listen to my doctor the first time.
Like walking through a glass door and getting headbutted during sex.
Yeah, getting headbutted me hard during sex one time and fucked it up.
Those were the good old days.
Now we're pecking on the cheek now.
Now we're, yeah, pecking on the cheek.
This is from Sauvajadeep.
Sorry, I'm not very good at some of these names.
If Vanderpump rules were to end,
will you try to find another reality TV gig
or would you be done with reality TV?
Do you think the Valley needs a lovable idiot?
That's a great, great answer.
Of course, you're always welcome on the Valley.
No, ultimately I wanna, there's one movie in particular
I've always been right, but I wanna produce some shows.
I'd like to do some more television.
I feel like I got five, 10 years left to me in this town
then I'm probably back to Florida.
That's, I like that answer.
I like that back to Florida,
because I'm gonna follow you for sure.
I'm 100% gonna follow you.
I keep saying it, I'm going back.
I'm gonna go back, I just don't know when.
Is it Jax, Jax, and Tom take Florida?
Is that the next venture?
Oh my God.
Starting over.
Oh Lord.
By the way, one of our producers hit me up the other day and she's like,
I gotta ask you something. Sorry to bother you.
She's like, are you Tom and Jack's living together?
I was like, no. No. Where did you hear that?
She's like, sorry. It's like going around.
Well, listen.
That would be every producer's dream.
No, whenever I saw that, who was I with?
Oh god, one of my friends. I was with one of my friends.
Oh, it was my little brother and my little brother,
Blake and my sister-in-law Kristen were just in town.
They were hoping they were gonna get to see you
the other night,
because they loved you from the wedding shorts.
But they said whenever they were talking about
how you might move in with Stainable,
they were like, oh, the next thing we know,
Jack is gonna be living with them again.
I was like, oh my God.
It does come full circle.
It usually does. And could you imagine, I mean,
I cruise would never be allowed to step foot in that house.
Three men and a baby.
I love where my relationship with this, with everybody right now,
especially that Tom and I are kind of back friends again, but I just, his,
his things, his quirkiness is getting up late, staying up late,
not sleeping and noise like that would just drive me crazy. I couldn't do it.
I couldn't do it. Yeah. I mean, I know it's a big house and all, staying up late, not sleeping in noise, that would just drive me crazy. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it.
I mean, I know it's a big house and all,
but I just, I don't know.
I don't know, Tom sometimes when he gets anal
and he would complain about, I don't know.
I just don't think I could.
You too, you too, Jack.
But I know Tom.
Tom's a night owl though.
He's a night owl.
And he would try to have band practice at 3 a.m.
I just know, I know him.
I know what he would do.
And like, oh, I'm gonna sing karaoke tonight
and it'd be like a Tuesday.
And like, you know, and be loud in the house. I just know it. I mean, his neighbors even know it. Well, you he would do. And like, oh, I'm gonna sing karaoke tonight. And it'd be like a Tuesday. And like, you know, and be loud in the house.
I just know it.
I mean, his neighbors even know it.
So.
You're not actually moving in there.
So why are you bleeding your case like this?
It kind of sounds like he's like,
he's trying to talk himself out of.
I'm actually saying it.
So he actually, Tom can be like, oh shit, that's right.
He does do all that stuff.
I don't know.
It sounds like you're trying to talk yourself out of
inviting yourself in.
Listen, the house for sale, the house next to you guys is for sale.
I could buy it.
Just buy our neighbor's house.
Okay.
This is a good question.
This is from Jillian McHale.
What is the biggest change you've both seen in yourself since your first
season on Vanderpump rules?
I think I, I think, um, I'm so much more self-aware, not to a fault, but I have just so much more agency
and confidence and determination.
I think I was shit scared of the great unknown in the beginning of the show.
You were even scared to work a shift at pump from what I heard.
It's not that hard.
I was having anxiety that
that was like the season.
I think I came on.
Wasn't it? Or was it just people talked about it even
whenever I came on.
Yeah.
You're you're one try at Pump.
I was there. He had a full panic attack and just ran out.
Now you're a bar owner.
Exactly.
That's rich. I think also I am
like I'm I am,
I am much more patient with people and when they're going through some intense feelings.
I'm much more understanding.
I've always was compassionate and empathetic,
but I'm just more patient.
I'm a better listener,
and just probably a better dude all around.
Well, good for you. You are a good dude. You know I think that. better dude all around. Well good for you.
You are a good dude.
You know I think that.
I'm all right.
Jax, what's the biggest change you've seen of yourself
since your first season on Vagabond?
Yeah, I'm gonna go with more self-aware.
I think I'm just, I am.
I'm very self-aware.
Brittany's cackling.
What?
This so cackle?
I am very self-aware.
I think I've grown up a lot.
Don't you think? You know? Iackle. I am very self-aware. I think I've grown up a lot. Don't you think?
You know? I mean, look, I got married. I'm a father now. I'm a homeowner. I'm a bar owner.
I don't go out as much. I just went out the last two nights for God's sake. No, I don't
know. I mean, there's little things here and there. Do I have a lot of my same qualities?
Yeah, I'm working on it, but you know, I think I don't know what else to say.
That question was more for Tom.
OK, this is another great question.
This is from a Junie T.
Holla. Junie T.
Holla. Would you do Winterhouse again and who else would you like to see on it?
Hmm. I'd love to see Jax make an appearance on there.
Jax rose his hand, so I don't know
if Tom actually feels that way,
or if he can fail to say that.
It was subliminal, but I would've said it anyways.
I'm a good buffer.
It's kinda like you just throw me into the wolves,
and that way they take the heat.
Let me take the heat, sorry.
I'd like to see maybe Tom and Jax on there together.
Yeah, I would. Is that weird?
No, I like to get back on TV with Tom.
I miss my crew, man.
You don't know how much I bonded with that Winterhouse crew
because I was in a really bad place in my life at that time
and everybody was just there for me, man.
They lifted me up.
They were the wind beneath my motherfucking wings.
I love that.
I do know that you did one of my shots on there.
Yeah, I did.
Or one of my chants.
Which one?
I think I did.
Snakes and condoms. Yeah. Foot man. We saw a group chat going. Yeah. Yeah, I did Which one I think I did
Going yeah, by the way that the show did great the ratings are great But I'm they just want to shelf it for a little bit for reasons
I don't fully understand me who knows what's going on behind the scenes. Well, I feel like I like there's so many like competition shows and
I mean, I like I said the House House of villains when I did that was my first
competition show even though I was voted off first I had a good time with it I
would definitely do more of them but we'll see I mean we're just getting
anxious get ready back to do the Valley Valley season 2 let's poppin in for sure
popping in we got the bars are popping off good synergy Jackson, I'm so happy that we're working together.
Yes. Our calls are going to be so fun.
You guys. It's going to be great.
And of course, I will be there.
I'll pop in and out whenever it's time.
I'll be serving the beer cheese platters.
OK, I want to end this with one last funny story.
And on a positive note, Schwartz, whenever you guys live together,
can you just remember one of your,
it could be your most embarrassing moments with Jax
or funniest or weirdest, I don't care what it was.
I'm under the bus, it's fine, I don't care.
I remember when I first moved in there,
like I had bare bones, man.
It was like I had nothing and I had an air mattress.
Jax, remember that one night I met that cool girl
with the dreads from Minnesota?
And she came in, she came back to our apartment and's like oh my god oh my god Jack's has the
sheet for the wallop and she was cool she's down she was very down to earth and like we go to my
bedroom to maybe like hook up or whatever and she saw my air mattress she kicked it she's like are
you serious and I think she's like all right let's go. I used to torture this poor guy.
I would, like we would come home late from the bars and I, you know, you know how hard
it is to put on a fitted sheet on a mattress in general.
I would purposely put like books and rocks and things underneath the sheet.
So when you go back, come home from drinking at the bar, you lay down and put his head
on some bricks or some books.
That's the stuff I used to do.
I used to do stuff that I would never let him go to the bathroom in peace.
I would always just jingle the door handle or kick the door open.
By the way, Jack still does a lot of this childish stuff.
If I'm in the bathroom, he cannot stand it.
He has. But even today, we're separating.
He tries to come in there.
I'm like, get the hell out of here.
I mean, one time, I mean, normally he would take it.
There was just one time he snapped and, I literally broke hangers in half.
I ripped apart his entire room like a tornado,
an angry tornado.
I mean, literally, like the pot was just like,
it just overflowed,
because I was just constantly doing this.
Between me and Tom, by the way, Tom did a lot too.
Like I would have to really rile Santa ball up
and we would get him going.
Psychological torture, by the way.
We do, we would do a lot.
Do you know what it's like to have risked everything,
moved across the country,
resigned from your pretty cushy job,
and all of a sudden you're waking up on the floor
because your roommate comes in at three in the morning
when he's drunk and pulls the plug on your air mattress?
And then I hear Sandoval in the other room saying,
how could you be so heartless?
How could you deflate my mattress?
I literally took a steak knife through his mattress
and I had to like duct tape it back together.
Yes!
I did.
That's so mean!
I did, I did.
But you know, we had some good times too.
Well, I feel like the best person that could like understand what you went through would
be his sister Jenny.
Yeah.
You know?
Totally.
And probably me.
Yeah.
Oh, you know better than anybody, Brett.
Let's be real.
You survived the wrath of Jack.
Yeah, somewhat.
Thank you, Tom, for coming by and sharing a little bit with us.
Also, guys, don't forget, Tom and I will be in Vegas at Daylight on June 8th.
Is it Janee?
Yeah.
Daylight Vegas Day Club.
We're guest bartending.
Oh my God.
Coming out of retirement.
Oh my God.
We're both coming out of retirement.
We're not only, we're bartending.
We're bartending in Vegas at a day party.
People order like one ingredient drinks. I am batching your drinks and you're going to
like whatever I make. I'm not modeling shit. Also the bar crawl tentatively June 6th. Check out
eventbrite. Look for our socials. It's going to be, it's the crawl. It's the crawl, the California
crawl. And it's going to be freaking fun. This is an experiment, but let's make this a real thing
and we're excited about it.
Also don't forget we both have watch parties
at every Tuesday.
Yeah.
And yeah.
And don't forget to catch Vanderpump Rules
and The Valley every Tuesday on Bravo.
That's right.
All right, have a good one Tom.
Thanks for stopping by.
Thanks for coming Tom.
We love you guys.
Tune in next week on when reality hits.
Bye.
Bye.
We love you guys. Tune in next week on When Reality Hits.
Goodbye. We used to joke that'll be the thing to send them to therapy. Okay, we're creating jobs. Can we look at it that way?
She talks about parenting.
These kids want to come home.
They don't want to leave.
They don't want to drive.
They want to stay in the womb.
Let's talk with Heather DeBrow every Thursday on Podcast One or wherever you get your podcasts.