Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Adrienne Iapalucci

Episode Date: December 27, 2024

Adrienne Iapalucci: Darkly hilarious and unapologetically sharp, Adrienne delivers comedy that leaves audiences laughing—and sometimes gasping. Known for her biting wit and fearless takes, she’s been featured on The Degenerates on Netflix, crushed on The Late Show with David Letterman, and has a podcast, Vadge. Don’t miss your chance to see her live—grab your tickets at https://adrienneIapalucci.com #adrienneiapalucci #andrewsantino #whiskeyginger #darkqueen #podcast ============================================ Sponsor Whiskey Ginger: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/whiskeyginger SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS MANDO Use Promo Code: WHISKEY FOR $5 OFF YOUR ORDER http://shopmando.com PRIZEPICKS Download The App! USE PROMO CODE: WHISKEY GET $50 INSTANTLY WITH YOUR 1ST $5 BET ======================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast https://twitter.com/whiskeygingerpodcast Produced and edited by Joe Faria https://www.instagram.com/itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Wichita Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. We got a good one for you today. Also, I'm on tour, finishing up the tour and shooting my special. Starting off with Chicago, and I'm going everywhere. Ladies and germs, I'm in Charleston, I'm in Durham. Show up, Durham. Where are you at? North Carolina? Come on and raise up, I'm in Atlanta.

I do Philly, I do... Philly, I'm at The Met, which I'm so proud of, The Beacon in New York, I'm doing Phoenix, two shows in San Francisco, two shows in San Diego, and four shows in Minneapolis, Minnesota, where I'm filming my special. Four shows, so go get those tickets right now at andrewsantino.com, andrewsantino.com.

In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. Oh, that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers, oh, hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people. I know they say that from I guess what I mean once again today. It is Adrienne Yabaluchi. I said Appaluchi, Ippaluchi, Appaluchi. I've heard Louie call you Appaluchi and you say that's how you say it. I say Appaluchi, yeah.

But it could be Ippaluchi. It could be whatever. I'm not saying it correct. Do you know where your pig family is from? I Don't know you don't know what my disgusting. I'm sure somebody sure somewhere trash. You've never done one of those No, but I'm not all I'm not all Italian now. What's the other side again Hungarian? But say it Hungarian Say it say the J word do you? but say it, Hungarian, say it, say the J word. Jew? How am I Jew?

This is the thing. You know that shakes me to my core. I know, listen, no one likes the Jews, especially right now, but like, I also don't identify as a Jew. What do you identify as? Bronx trash. Bronx trash, yeah.

And is there a lot of Jews in the Bronx? No, they're Brooklyn based mostly. I think they were in the Bronx, in the concourse, and then they all left when like black people came And here they are the Jews pretending like they're you know, we're not like the other whites Yeah, I'm not saying I'm not saying that's for sure what happened. I'm just it sounds right. It does it sounds very right You're born and raised in the Bronx. You've never lived anywhere but New York. No, that's awesome. Is it I think it's beautiful I think it makes you a bad person.

It does? You're not supposed to live in New York City the whole time. Where would you go if you could go? Like anywhere? Like I'm just like on a beach? Well no, what's your like, you know where I wish I lived, where I wish I moved? What's your secondary life? I do like the beach. Yeah. I don't actually hate LA. I really think I would hate it here. Come on over. I don't think I can come on over. We could use a talented comedian out here. I mean, Ari's forcing me to go to Austin for three months.

Ooh. Enjoy. When I was there, he made everyone talk. He made Rogan talk to me about moving to Austin. Everyone is like, you're moving to Austin. I'm like, I'm going for three months. I'm keeping my apartment. Yeah.

I'm not going to really be there a lot. I don't wanna do this right now about Austin, but you know, it's great. But it's not New York, dude. New York is New York. It's the best city in the world. New York is a terrible place. It's the best city in the world.

Every 9-11, I pray for a sequel. I hate New York City so fucking much. It's the worst place ever. Everyone is mad all the time. Yeah, but isn't that beautiful? I think it would be nice if I got to do that for a time, but as a kid growing up like that, it's just like, you're con- it's a lot. Like, you know what I mean?

Like, you should either grow up there or end up there, but you shouldn't be there the whole time. Well, then what about LA? Like, I moved here when I was 21, and I haven't left. And I do plan on leaving, but I haven't left and I do plan on leaving But I haven't left where you gonna go Well for a while I was gonna go to New York and I never got to go because of family stuff. Unfortunately I'm still I'm stuck here, but I

Don't know I mean, where's my like I want to die on a lake very bad I want to die like very easy. I want to die in the middle of winter. Well, don't Okay Blame it on this guy. I will trust me I want to die in the middle of winter. Well don't. Okay. Blame it on this guy. I will, trust me. If anybody does kill me, you know how they go to the spouse first? This guy will be the first person the FBI looks at. As if the FBI would look at my case.

They would look at your case. No chance. Have Rogan call it in a favor. Yeah, from the mothership. They're like, I'm calling from the alien bast bastion before we go too far. Your special came out on Netflix it's called the Dark Queen. Yes. Which was ref which is reference to kind of this gentrification move of you pushing black people out of the Bronx that's called the dark it was called always called the dark queen. Yeah Very good queen queen

Dark Queen Hey dark queen But I love that move when you're just like pat it You know I found myself doing that I just shot a TV show and I had to wear a wig every day Oh, yeah, you can't get all day every day. It's so itchy. I wanted to kill somebody I one time went on a rabbit hole watching black women get their hair done in a salon It takes like eight hours. I was like I get why they're always upset Mm-hmm that you must have just gotten your hair done sat there imagine that and then afterwards working at the DMV

The DMV is where everyone it just their boyfriend just cheated on them. It's the worst place Everyone is always mad at the DMV. You don't know why are there no shootings at the DMV There have been a couple of attempts right? No, post offices mostly mostly where people shoot up has anybody shot at a DMV I feel like you should though that is a place to go cap off. That's a great place I think some regulations off the road by the way congratulations New York is getting back to its old ways shooting whites shooting whites in mid-city now this I mean It's nice an Italian did it there's one eight days ago. There was an eight days ago There was a shooting at a DMV where where someone was charged in connection of the shooting death of DMV

activist DMV activist you have enjoyed Wait, what is a DMV? That are fed up with the process and we just want we just want change Cornelius Cornelius McDonald DMV activist that's either white or black I don't know what that is Cornelius is a guy from the south or a guy from Harlem right but I don't know who it is imagine if it's a black guy from Harle a white guy from Harlem but a black guy from the south it can go both they can go both ways can spread all over and both are bad it's not good

either way whatever it is both of them are bad this no, it's not good either way. Whatever it is, it's bad. Both of them are bad. This is, you're right. It's not good. No, it's not gonna be good. What? It might be DMV, like the area of America. What is DMV the area of America?

You know, in Delaware, Maryland, and Virginia? Oh, that's not the actual DMV? Yeah. I think that might be that DMV. Well, we'll have to cut that part out, you idiot. This is disappointing. You stupid, stupid idiot. You overpaid louse. You stupid idiot. You overpaid louse.

You loser mole. What do you want to do with your life? Hopefully jump off of something high. McCone, what do you want to do with your life? So I was originally hired by these guys to go on tour and film behind the scenes stuff because I do film stuff. Shut up. Stop.

He's a film school nerd. He wants to be a director. He'll talk your ear off. Name one movie. He's not going to talk to me. He's not talking to my ear off. That's a film school nerd. He wants to do he wants to be a director I'm doing he'll talk your ear off about name one movie. He's not gonna talk to me. I know I like Shut up. I'll just go no. Thanks He's very hittable isn't he though. He's cute, but he's very punchable. Yeah. Yeah He has a face you want imagine if he moved to New York. Well, I mean he would get punched by everyone Everyone the first week on the subway. They would just walk on you on the subway idiot loser idiot back to reality First of all great Jays. Thank you. Love Jordan. Love a job. Love a Jordan on a girl

You know why because we can all wear them who cares But there's only certain girls that will wear them and what kind of girls wear Jordans girls that fuck black guys That's exactly right. Yeah, that is exactly right and you do yeah, and God bless What am I gonna do you can't be raised in the world? Yeah, this is a black eye bat signal when you wear Jordans as a woman. I'm hoping that in the Earrings I'm going back to 1996 Well, that was the good year. Yeah Bulls, baby. I'm from Chicago so for me that's that was like my my childhood was filled with championships and

so for me that's that was like my my childhood was filled with championships and The convergence of hip-hop and a pop culture. It was like the coolest thing in in the world to me me Michael Jordan of the same birthday June no 17 you don't know your own birthday. That's so good. I've been talking so much today who cares Yeah, who gives a shit who'd you come from before this? Ryan sickler love the sick dog. Yeah, his dog is so fucking cute. So cute. So cute. Did you get stoned? Do you get stoned now? You don't know it goes good or bad and there's no way to know how it's gonna go, right? What's your vice? Like everything a little bit of everything I keep switching like was it like food alcohol be shopping and I'll be like guys

It's just like I just would that say you keep switching seats on the Titanic that's like what addiction is yeah what are you going through now I think I'm just depressed right now yes same yeah like being up during the day it's tough are you a day you're a full sleeper you're like I sleep till 2 p.m. yeah yeah so you sleep all day day, and then you work all night, and then what time would you go to bed? Depends I've been trying to get up earlier, but like sometimes I'll go sleep three four o'clock I think I said like two hours last night. You're like a tell you're like the female a tell kind of he keeps He seems so miserable too, and I guess that's me also, but he's not though. He's not miserable

He's miserable like we're all sad, but he's beautiful. He is so in love with comedy that he loves stand up more than anyone I've ever met. I think it's so cool. Yeah. Like I actually hate stand up. You do. Well, please watch the Dark Queen right now on Netflix. We all hate stand up. It's bullshit, but it's it's the most for moments of time.

It's the most fun we've ever had in our life. It returns to like one little thing from childhood, where you're like, wow, I'll remember this forever. That's what stand-up feels like, little glimmers of it. Do you love being on stage? There are some comics that need to be on stage, they love it. No, I'm not Norman. I don't wanna do a gig, then go do a gig.

Nick Norman's notorious, he'll do a show, and then go find a local bar and be like, hey, can I pop on? That's actually a really good- Can I do some time? That's hey, can I pop on? I'm that's actually really gonna do some time really good Thank you pasta steal your fucking crazy. I bet his wife will have a baby and he'll be like at an open mic He's having a baby soon, and I guarantee How the fuck do you do that he'll name the kid Esti just to kiss the ring Oh God. Hey, little Estie came out, gotta do a spot,

gotta do five, quick, gotta tight five. He's, I don't know, because we're being around, we kind of are the same generation, him and I, so I can't do celebrities, like fame, you know, when people do like, I can't do those. I can do people I know that I've heard enough over the years that it gets etched into my, because we, you know. I think Mark's voice probably isn't that hard to do. You just have to go back here, enough over the years that it gets etched into my... Because we...

I think Mark's voice probably isn't that hard to do. You just said to go back here. And it's more mannerism. It's more mannerism than anything. Yeah, he's like, gotta go. When he does that kind of stuff, yeah. He's a 90 year old man. But I know what you mean.

I don't love... Some people need to be on stage. They're like, I love it It's like I'm on stage. I'm mostly uncomfortable the whole time. Yeah, I can't get away to get off. Yeah. Yeah, I just want to get I Just want to get to the things I really wanted to get to which most of the time You know you find this the irony of like when you I'm sure on the special to a joke that you kind of like does Phenomenal and a joke that you love is does okay. Yeah, or like people like the joke that you wouldn't think is that great. Yeah, that's almost all the time.

Yeah, and then there's jokes that you love and no one really likes and you still keep doing them. Those are my favorite. I know, it's like just for you. I have, I actually have two too in the special I'm gonna record that are, he knows. It's just for you. People don't like them, but people are like, oh yeah.

And then I verbally have said, and like that's, I like that. Yeah, you're like, that one just for you. But people people are like, oh, yeah, and then I verbally have said been like that's I like that Yeah, I'm doing that one's for me and I don't care that you don't like it at all because people don't know how to feel About it, but I think that's the balance of the it's like we're giving you all of it. Can I have some? Yeah, I mean, this is also something I really like I thought of that joke You really like in this joke you don't also like right they came from the same person. Isn't that nice? Yeah Where did you record Dark Queen? In the cellar McDougal yeah the best room on planet earth yeah this downstairs

I keep saying this to a lot of people because I started the Comedy Store, so that's my home, but the Comedy Store is the feeling that I have when I do the OR on the Comedy Store is the exact same when I do McDougal because it's It's it's a bigger are McDougal's 180 something like that. No, I think it's one. I think it's 140 140. Yeah, and OR I think it's when it's max It's like two to five, but they usually put two so it's similar in size, but it's real slow and dark Yeah, and it's so contained that it feels like they're really with you Do you like a lot of people like the Village Underground better? No, no, opposite.

I don't either, me neither. But everyone, that's where most people film. Yeah, I get it, I like it. It's a nice room. And it's big, it's bigger. It's a great room, but it's also, it's a lot of pillars, which I said. Pillars are the worst for comedy.

I said that to Liz, I'm like, a lot of pillars. Yeah, it's not good for comedy. Hey, a lot of pillars, what's going on here? That's so crazy. You guys building grease again, a lot of pillars. Yeah, it's not good for comedy. Hey a lot of pillars. What's going on here? That's so crazy guys building Greece again a lot of pillars. I feel like Sometimes I do it when I'm fucking my wife and does she love it hates it hates it hates him so much Hey, I'm gonna come Okay, I gotta cut it out

I know it's great. I'm like fascinated by it. They could do such a good Martin Norman. He's the one I could do. I don't know if I can't do anybody. You know who's really, Soder can do, Soder's incredible. Soder's good too, yeah. He's a magician. He could do a lot of stuff. Him and I tested SNL for the same year and both lost to Pete Davidson. Wow. Shout out to Skinny Pete. Wow. That's nice. Yeah, the kid got, well he was a kid. He was like 19, Soder and I were like 32. Yeah, and also his dad died in 9-eleven It's like how do you know?

Pete Davidson yeah, you don't know his dad died in 9-eleven never heard it Can you imagine the one guy that never heard that story? Well that validates all those feelings that I had about him then wait you did know of course Oh, yeah, cuz that would be cool if you didn't know yeah, you just thought he got it and beat you No, he's very he's very funny. Yeah, but he's already is also 19. He was a child and Lauren Verbatim was like I don't think you're the puzzle piece that I'm looking for you could just said no I Don't need the puzzle by the way. I flew back to New York like I flew to LA Got a call flew back to New York three days later. You flew back for him to tell you no

Yeah, yeah, it's kind of notoriously funny to me. I was actually like that's so funny I flew to LA, got a call, flew back to New York three days later. You flew back for him to tell you no? Yeah, it was kind of notoriously funny to me. I was actually like, that's so funny. It's hilarious. To fly me back out, put me back up at a hotel, have me come to like an eat, we were supposed to have lunch, then it was like supper time, you know what I mean? Like a 4 p.m.

And then it turned to kind of like come at six or something. And you're like, I definitely didn't get it. 100%. What are we doing here? What are we doing here? I was like, hey, just come by at 10 p.m.'re like, I definitely didn't get it. What are we doing here? 100%. Yeah, dude, fuck. It's like, hey, just come by at 10 p.m. Just come by when I'm in my car. Yeah, I valet his car.

You're not the puzzle piece. No, it was a weird, but Soty and I, I was stoked to see him there because it made me feel comfortable. I was like, well, if he gets it, don't care. Because I love Danny. And then I knew Pete too. I met him when he was like 16 or whatever.

And so when he got it I thought oh that makes the most sense. Yeah, he's a child a handsome young cool kid. I was like yeah We were I'm a burnt loser so anyway Normand My normand has come up in front of him, and I don't think he likes it I think he's okay with it, but I don't think he doesn't love He doesn't love it. No. But a lot of people do it too. Yeah, well, it's a cartoon. Right.

Yeah, stop being a cartoon, I'll stop doing the voice. Wow, that's got deep. No, I love him to death. No, you can't. He knows I love him. You know I love you, Mark. No, you don't. Hey, I love you.

McDougall is, to me, much better than, every people that don't know, that's the original Comedy cellar room when you see Like Louie when he taped his show was in McDougal that wasn't in VU. No, it was McDougal Yeah, that's why and it just feels so I like that. It's like very tight, right? There's like very low ceilings It's a very everyone's kind of on top of each other. That's kind of what you need. I had I was just there I just saw you out there. And I had, I love those sets at McDougal.

Oh my god, that story with that girl with the french fries. I was just gonna bring that up. Did you see this? I know you told me. You were saying it. It was so funny. There was a, the weird, of all the like heckles, because I don't do a lot of crowd work, I just not my thing. But I usually will avoid when an idiot is like, And I just keep going. I keep going and keep going and keep going. Unless it's like, dude, come on, come on, please. Like genuinely cut it out.

But this woman sitting in the front row, like a 26 year old, right? Right in there, 26, 29, and a late thirties guy who's in like a button down. And she's kind of like, she looks very bohemian. She's like very like relaxed and she's picking up fries looking at me and feeding them to the man like real nice he was feeding her oh no I'm sorry she's feeding him he's feeding her everything was a lot of that I'm backwards he's feeding her french fries and and and I it's in the first row it's the two first people and I had to be like what what is it are you a serial killer I mean it looks, it's in the first row, it's the two first people, and I had to be like, what, what is,

are you a serial killer? I mean, it looked so creepy. It's such a crazy thing to be feeding somebody that's not a baby. It's just. In a comedy show. Oh, so gross. And then she, then I was like, what is going on?

And then she immediately is like, fuck you. I was like, fuck me. Do you not know how crazy this is? And then finally, after I let it go, at the end of the set, I was like, you know I love you guys, fries are on me. I paid for, fuck me. Do you not know how crazy this is? And then finally after I let it go at the end of the set, I was like, you know I love you guys. Fries are on me. I paid for the fries already.

So have another basket to go, because this is, I have enjoyed my experience meeting you. And I go, this must be just how you guys communicate love. And she goes, we just met. I was like, this makes it even worse. I like how you said he was dipping it in the ketchup first. Yeah, he, well he- That's very caring. Yeah, he did a little ketchup and gave it to her, but she was so like

Relaxed and you could tell did not want to go to it. He was like I love comedy We got to go see a show and she's like Comedy, I don't wanna go like comedy where he's like I'll feed you like a baby bird I would have loved if he was chewing them and then spitting into her mouth Now that I would have been like this guy's the king the baby bird effect spitting into her mouth. Now that I would have been like, this guy's the king. The baby bird effect. Just spitting in her mouth. But that room to me is unequivocally the most, like, you get the most yes and the most no, which I love.

Yeah, it's a roller coaster. They're with you and then you lose them and then they're with you and you lose them. I love that. Where VU, you can get pockets. Other rooms you can get pockets of like, oh those people really like it. Yeah, the VU is also very big, so I think if I'm like not high energy, it's hard to connect with the back of the room. Because I'm not like on stage like dancing and shit, you know? You used to, that was your big act.

I know, I had to stop doing it. Why did you stop? Yeah, you should have kept going, dude. I was doing too well. Yeah, you were crushing. I was like, I need to actually bomb a lot. People were, that was getting, the chatter was around town. Yeah. They were like, age, she needs to cut that shit out.

When you were a kid, did they call you age? Yes, age. I had one guy that called me AIDS. AIDS. That's nice. I loved it. Yeah. When did that stop? The age. The AIDS? Age joke.

Um, it was a guy, it was only one guy that called me that. Yeah. What happened to him? And then he kind of stopped. Where's he? We still talk. You know, we like reconnected like 20 years later on Facebook, so like we've hung out a couple of times.

Really? Yeah. We should just get married. You think? Why not? What's your, what's your, you've never been married? No. Who is your guy? I don't know.

What does he feel like? Like what's his gig? I need somebody that looks like they're from the Bronx, but they're not garbage. It's tough. It's a tough look. It's a tough look. What about Staten Island?

I hate Italians. Yeah. That's absolutely disgusting. Right, that's a no. That's a no. That's a definite no. Are your parents dead? My dad is, so I could date black guys. Good, yeah, that's good.

You'd bring a black guy to his funeral? To my dad's funeral? No, I wouldn't do that. That would have been so funny. I was pretty young then. How old were you when you died? Like 22. Yeah, that's tough.

It's a young age. And then you started comedy around then? 26. Yeah, in New York. What gives you the balls to grow then you started comedy around then? 26. Yeah. In New York. What gives you the balls to grow up in New York and then to go start comedy in New York? That's gotta be hard.

My mom did stand up when I was younger. Really? Like on and off. She never did it like continuously. Yeah, me and my dad took the bus to go see her do it. Like she had a bringer show and we went to it. I didn't know it was a bringer show at the time. I'm like 18.

Where was it? Like Danger Fields. Stand up New York. Oh,up, New York. Yeah, that's so cool. What a memory No, no, that's kind of cool though your mom like it Because if she was she should have kept doing it so she could have just helped me right Yeah, I've just been doing comedy for 20 years and I'm still like nowhere. Thanks a lot. Thanks for nothing What year was this that she was in the comedy? I don't know 96 Yeah, that was like the time that was like a red post-comedy boom of the 80s It was so long ago that she told me like if she made it big she was gonna get me a car with a phone in it I'm gonna have and now who could I call anybody for 999 minute? Yeah, anybody, but yeah

She just never did it. She like kept stopping. Did she go to work after that? What do you mean work? Did she have a job? No, your mother never had a job. No, and your old man She's a waitress once in a while. What was he? A mailman was he? Yeah. Wow. It's like a really hard job to get is it Yeah, it's like tech taxi driver job to get. Is it? Yeah. It's like taxi driver in London, you know that? It's like very, no, I was being sarcastic. Oh, I don't know.

It could be. Really? To just hand mail out? Yeah, but pre-Google Maps and assistance from cell phones, you had like no streets. Yeah, but you have one, you have like a couple of streets and that's it. You keep doing that same thing over and over again. Because our old mailman from my neighborhood did, like, my whole neighborhood here. But I guess it's... LA is so big. I guess it's all spread out.

So my dad did it since he was like 18 years old, and he worked in the hood because it was easier to do a lot of buildings in the hood that have to travel and walk a lot. So he would rather risk his life. Yeah. Like what... God, imagine the amount of eviction notices he handed out, huh would rather risk his life. Yeah. What? God, imagine the amount of eviction notices he handed out, huh? A ton of that.

I guess maybe not wage garnishments who's working. But like just. Everything was a past due bill? Yeah, you would see like, he was like, I'd see a gun in there and drugs and shit. But like his, the people that like he was working there for so long, that the people that like in that little community loved him so much and they came to

Visit him in the hospital all these little black ladies old little blood and they got him like beloved Mailman like flowers and stuff. It was really sweet. What was his nickname? They got to give me a PPO Apple here come Apple, baby Here come Apple baby. Apple's coming. My dad was a contractor and worked. For the most of my childhood I remember when he was not in prison, he was... Was your dad really in prison? For what?

Drugs. Oh, he was doing drugs? Yeah, he was dabbling in the culture. Was he selling them? Sure. No, seriously. Would he be a cop? I don't know, I love that he's working.

Yeah, he was involved in the world of drugs and crime, you know, I imagine. But I'll never get the truth. Do you know what I mean? I'll never hear the real story. Why? Is he dead? No, he's alive. We don't, I don't know him really well. Oh, okay. I do and I don't. Do you know what I mean? Like we've reconnected as adults, but my whole childhood he was in prison. So like, it was kind of a dip my parents split when I was one But my dad used to work when I would go with him on runs He'd be like you want to work with me today, and you know what a sad thing to do to a child No, I'd rather I want to go to the park, but like sure I'll go you're working one-year-old

No, no no when I was like seven or eight he's gonna take me out But he would use me as like a cute little redheaded. Yeah, I mean why else do you have a redhead? I know or to just you know or to sell it, but he would go to the west side in the south side of Chicago He would go to The neighborhoods a lot of these guys would refuse to go to because he created a rapport with them because he had balls He just didn't give a shit. My dad was kind of a larger-than-life guy Tall big strong. He didn't care and they loved him but he come richie here go richie richie where your little man at? Where that little opie looking boy at?

I see it out. Here come Richie with a little opie. That's amazing. But they loved me and I'd go around he'd be like oh miss Johnson you know and you know Andrew come here come say hi to miss Johnson you know and he would do their kitchens every but he loved Working the hood because a lot of those guys I think wouldn't I think people just didn't want to and they were like I'm not going down there than right But it's like if they love you they love you. Oh, they fucked with him big time, and he was very Connected people knew him in the community and I think my grandfather did similar stuff So it just led him down the right you know it's like oh

This is a way to like really make real money as you use used to, he's like, they got money too, buddy. He used to say that all the time. I'm like, what? Yeah. How come nobody knows this? Go take their money. Spread the word. No, but he would go, that was, I remember thinking like,

if my mom would be like, where'd you go with your dad? Like we were on the West side all day. She's like, putting you in those situations. That's where all they get. Cause the West Side, at least back then especially, was a very tough part of Chicago. Like just rough. Like where the bulls play is maybe-

But also, nobody's gonna harm him because you don't wanna kill a white guy cause they're gonna come. Yeah, you don't wanna kill a white guy, they'll find out. And they're gonna investigate. And you don't want, that a white guy. They'll find out and they're gonna investigate And you don't want that's why he brought me. I'm saying that's another safety net. That's smart of him Did you ever do a route with your dad? My dad used to gamble? That's why I would go and I would do that with him Yeah, he's a big gambler. Yeah, we should go to the we should go to the my grandfather was a Gambler who worked at the dog track the dog track and uh... my dad was the horse track we he did both i mean he

worked at arlington and i'm sure my dad would have been on like pennies and see if they do that on turtle races yet but uh... i said that this morning to somebody that like o t b i would even have there all the time and all the time i was not like smoke like i'm going to borrow my yeah my mom you see me when i came home my mother would make me take off my clothes in the garage. It was so demeaning.

She'd be like, you stink. Take off your, so I'd have to get naked in the garage. Were you ever like, hey mom, why don't you just hang out with me so I don't have to go? Yeah, no. She was like, some of us have to work, Andrew. My mom wasn't even working. We were going with him and she was just doing nothing.

Yeah, but they were together. My parents? Yeah, my parents were together. So when I come back to my mom's house, she loathed the smell of Winston cigarettes. And that's all I... I smelled like cloth car seats and Winston cigarettes. When the son bakes on a cloth car seat in a Cutlass,

and those cigarettes seep into your clothes. Those cigarettes are so gross. I think that's why you feel hungover, cause that smell. The smell does it to you. You never smoked. I did when I was drinking. I mean, the next day you're like, you smell so gross.

Yeah, but it tastes so good when you're doing it. Sure, just chain smoking. Like one here, one here. What was your cigarette? Newport's. You're really sticking to the theme. Listen, I like what I like. What are you gonna do? And get my girl a Hennessy right quick. Listen, I like what I like. What are you going to do?

Get my girl a Hennessy right quick. That's so fucking great, dude. Stay in line. Stay where you belong. I like that. Newport's is so funny. I would smoke anything, but I think that's what I would just get. I don't know. When you were in high school, when you were young in the Bronx, were you cool or no?

I was cool, but I went to an all-girls school. So it's like, there's not really like a cool not cool thing uniform yeah how stupid is that shit it's so dumb it's the dumbest it doesn't make any sense listen it saves time though where you don't have to think about what you're gonna wear every day but I guess it's good for the predators you know what I mean yeah if you're wearing a skirt yeah they all look the same that's why they do that I imagine especially can you could see up girls dresses. Yeah, is that why? The Predators made it easy Yeah, is it is Catholic school? Yeah. God bless. You're not you're out though. I'm very in I'm very Catholic. You go to church?

Lies. I pray all the time. I pray all the time. Why do they lose all of us? It's just boring That's a big part of it. Boring. Like, I think if I was raised in the black church, I would probably have stayed. Much more exciting. Much more fun. But now you see these new age white churches try to be like the black churches.

I know. He's saying that. Fail. Yeah, it doesn't work. They're awesome. It's not as fun. But also, there's not a lot of singing. I don't think the singing and dancing is as good at the white church.

No chance. So that's why at the black church it's fun. The black church is fun because you're allowed to express. A white church is like, we sing, but also, let's not yell out. And we're not singing that well. And we're not singing. We're not dancing that well either.

The singing isn't that good. So please sing along with us. That was my, I hated going to church and having to sing I was in the choir. I think you were I mean, I didn't have a good voice I think I just got pushed into it, but your mom was like you have to do it I don't know my mom would always get us into activities and you didn't want to do any of them I like some of it but like we were in dance. We were in ballet and tap and jazz. I did all that dumb bullshit Yeah, it was okay. I did all that dumb bullshit. Yeah. It was okay. I did sports.

What sport? Softball, volleyball, basketball. I wasn't like great at all then, but I would just, my sister did nothing. Did you ever have a touch of the gay back then when you were playing all those sports? No. You're close. I mean, I looked very gay. Yeah, you're right there.

You know that I did see a girl the other day that looked like a dude and I was like, I look very gay. Yeah, you're right there. You know what though, I did see a girl the other day that looked like a dude and I was like, I am somewhat attracted to her, but like I wouldn't eat the dick. So it's like, I don't think I'm gay. In here, we pour whiskey. Sometimes guys have stinky balls. That's a thing. Not all the time, but a lot of the time

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Download that app right now and use the code whiskey, whiskey, to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks, run your game. Ginger, I like gingers. If you were in prison for the rest of your life, would you fuck someone? Like, you're there for the rest of your life, you might as well lean in. Prison for the rest of my life? I'm definitely getting a girlfriend.

Yeah, but you are domineering enough where someone's going to obey you. Oh, I'm not going down on chicks though. You don't have to. They're going to go down on me. No, you're a top dog. But if you're the dy dyke doesn't that mean you have to do the eating out in There you can do whatever you want there. There's no rules. There's no rules. No, well, there's there's there's standards and They have they have upkeep but I think you you choose what you want in the women's prison I still think isn't there rape in the women's prison?

In the women's prison, I still think isn't there rape in the women's prison It's just not bad more than there is in the men's prison women on women rate. Yeah, it's just fingering Yeah, it's like nearly still nearly not as bad as dick rape or stuff or toys Or things they find Like a shoe. Yeah shoe Just a Reebok size 9 The white Reebok The old-school one He's probably got them on right now. Those are so dirty.

Yeah, they're really bad. That's like crazy. Oh my god! This is your guy? I told you we don't pay him. But like, come on. No, but he doesn't deserve shit. How much money were you making at 25? I was not making a lot of money. Okay, so case in point. He's getting more than how much money were you making at 25? I was not making a lot

Okay, so case in point. He's getting more than you all of us were ever making a 25 And I worked at the DA's office as a crime victim advocate was making 27 five No way as a crimes victim of crimes victim advocate Yeah So if you were the victim of crime and like say something happened to you I would advocate on your behalf to like, one guy was, he got shot by accident. They thought he was somebody else. Okay.

Which I think happens a lot. All the time. And he was like shitting in colostomy bags, and he didn't have money to get more bags, and he didn't have insurance, so I was like working to get him more colostomy bags, because his girlfriend was just taking the shit out and then reusing his colostomy bag.

And that's like a kind of love that I don't have. I'm like, you're actually on your own. Yeah, that's it. I'm not taking that off. I'm out. People do get shot a lot on accident. Yeah, they think you're someone else. The nonchalantness of it.

My childhood best friend told me a story that made me laugh so hard. He was on the subway in Chicago and it's like the afternoon it's like the you know the the afternoon rush and he's on the train he sees this guy who sees another friend of his he goes oh what's hey what's up he's like what's going on and he's like hey man whatever happened to um and he named some guy's name you know he's like what happened to CEO he's like oh man he got shot and he's like damn he got shot and he goes what happened to CEO. He's like oh man. He got shot. He's like damn He got shot, and he goes what happened, and they got turns around. He just goes it was a dispute and then turned back

Favorite thing to say it was a dispute, but it was so calm He goes he's holding on to the pole and he because the guys over his shoulder like yeah It was a dispute and they just face forward like it never happened like that is so funny The other guy was like mmm, like he understood. I know just a dispute dude, and that's what happens. There's disputes I remember seeing a guy get robbed on the subway I put it in like my first album and he like looked at me and I was a kid for like help you just looked at me as if like Tell someone do something, you know, and I was like, no

I faced forward immediately. I'm not gonna I'm gonna it was happening right next to me and I was like no I've like it out here I faced forward immediately. I'm not gonna. I'm gonna. I it was happening right next to me I was like no way, but that's what happens in New York to somebody will be getting like the shit kicked out I mean you just keep walking you know like in New York you have to like or wherever you have to just like I have boyfriend. I was like don't get in anyone's world. I would like do that where I would just I would see an injustice I'm like in their face. He's like don't get in their world and now you just like Could you imagine you are in that world? Then you become a I'm coming out of the cellar and this girl and this guy are like Fighting and this guy takes this girl and he slams her head on the fucking car So I get it. I'm on what the fuck are you doing? He goes. Oh, we're filming a sketch

Right there and I'm like, yeah, man, don't like do're filming a sketch. There's a camera right there, and I'm like, yeah man, don't do that in the village, that's crazy. You just slammed her head on the fucking, and then also I was like, what was I gonna do? Just go to your fucking car and leave. Just go to your car. Because what's gonna happen? She's gonna stay with him anyway.

That's gonna be every, all domestic violence now. Officer, we're filming a sketch. I mean, there were people filming it, but who knows, maybe they were filming because she was getting beat. Right, everyone pulls their phone out now. Right, so- You see that more often than anything. When I see something going bad,

last night on the way home, there was a gentleman I felt so bad. There was a guy, he's motorcycle had hit the back of this guy's car. So obviously, it wasn't, it wasn't death, but he got smoked and he was across the street and he was laying down. And the amount of people outside filming was crazy.

I was like, what is that gonna do? But that's gonna get TikTok views for them or whatever it is. I mean, could you imagine like there was all this technology during the Holocaust and people just filming it? There was. There really was. There was. There was. There really was. There was. There was.

There'd be so crazy. Just reel to reel. Well, they do have, they do have old film footage of the Holocaust. They do. Yeah. It's online. You can see some of it online. A lot of it though was like when American troops were.

Yeah. But none of it made it to TikTok, which is annoying, you know? I mean, how do we get it on? Holocaust, TikTok. Where is that? I did a joke about Hunter Biden. They were like, this goes against our community standards. We're going to leave the video up, but silence it. So now it's just on there. I'm like, but the words are up. No, I don't think I even had the words up on it. That's why we do the words. I mean, I don't remember in case they try to silence us. Or maybe I did, I don't remember. In case Elon tries to silence us. Ugh.

I'm so bad at all social media. Who's good at it? A lot of people. A lot of people are really good at it. I think I'm pretty bad, eh? Am I? You don't really try though. I don't go for it.

Wow, he just told you you don't try. Yeah, no, I don't at social media. I'm not good at it. Well, because I'm admittedly not good at it, so I don't do good for it. Wow. He just told you you don't try. Yeah, no, I don't on social media. I'm not good at it. Well, because I'm admittedly not good at it, so I don't do good at it. Yeah. So I don't. I've tried, but it's bad. I'm just posting videos and I'm like, I don't know what I'm really supposed to be doing here. Well, you're a comic, so...

Yeah, but a lot of people, like, know how to do it. They're in the algorithm, like, everyone keeps saying the algorithm keeps changing, and I'm like, I have no idea what I'm doing. But that's good if you stay in your lane, like everyone keeps saying the algorithm keeps changing and I'm like I have no idea what I'm doing. But that's good if you stay in your lane it'll come right back to you it's not coming back it's been twenty years you have a special on fucking Netflix right now. It doesn't mean anything. It means a lot to who? To me you already have your own specials on Netflix. Who cares?

You're not the person I need to impress. I need somebody that's going to come out to my shows. They come out to the shows. I don't know, because they told me. So I didn't know that they give you your numbers. They do. They give you your 10 day and 20 day numbers. So I'm like, okay. I was surprised because I have no following.

At all. What do you mean? You're surprised that they give you the numbers? I was surprised at the number of people that watched it. And I'm like, that is not reflected on social Media, right? So how do those people ever come see you? Yeah, I don't know. Well, I mean they don't they don't right. Sorry. No, they do But the more I to me the more you push it the more you talk about it the more it gets into the zeitgeist

Of the world of comedy. Mmm, maybe And it's good and you're very funny. You're very funny. I mean I... Well thank you. You know. But you do say that about everyone. No I don't. Do I say everyone?

No I don't say everyone's funny. You're kind of untrustworthy. I just won't say it if I don't think they're funny. Really? Well I just will just talk. You're just like, hey I think you're great. Yeah you're great. Yeah they're great.

Or they're cool. Do you never tell anyone you think they're funny? Even like, you've never been in a situation We're like, oh good set and someone had like a terrible set. I'll be honest and say that I don't say that I don't do the good set thing. Okay, very rarely if I see you do a good set I will come up to you and say like dude, I love that blah blah blah blah blah, right? Or you could say you were having so much fun That's a nice way of not saying good. She's out there having fun, man

You just really had a lot of fun up there. You were up there having fun, weren't you? You were fucking that stool and you loved it. You're just a fun, fun, fun, fun comic. So I haven't seen people fuck a stool in a while, where now I almost think it's funny. It's funny if it's someone that you wouldn't expect. Like if Ryan Hamilton did it, I'd be like, this is gonna crush.

Oh my God, that'd be amazing. Yeah, do you know what I mean? If someone like that did it? Hamilton did a bit the other night that I'm not gonna do, because it's his stuff, but he's so funny beyond He's one of my favorite people to watch I think he's so he sits in the pocket very well in a way that like I get flustered sometimes I can feel myself being like Get out, but he'll sit in something. That's

You know kind of like working and working through it. I I'm not as good at that I get nervous and I'm like get out and do something else So you'll just abandon a joke yeah, if it's just kind of mediocre, and I think the next tag isn't even that good I'm like whatever whatever. I'll just move on yeah I I have I don't love like some people are so comfortable in the silence No, man, I'm not good. Yeah, that probably forces you to write better joke more just more It's like you better have something else. Right. If that thing is weak, and I'm doing four sets in a row, you know, out in New York, because I also get so threatened

when I come to New York that I'm like, you better do good, dude, because you don't even live, you don't live here. I can't think, that's how I feel when I come out here, though. Same thing, yeah, we have that anxiety of like, you better do good, you don't live here. They don't see you all the time. Your friends, people that see you all the time at the cellar,

or people that see us at the store, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Were you ever We ever like bomb and it's so fun because your friends are there watching you just bomb. One of my favorites. If the night is also bad, like the crowd's bad, the night's bad, the other comics were doing terrible, those are the best nights.

And you just go up and you're only playing to them. Right, and then you can tell really wild bullshit. Oh yeah, and they just, they just hate you so much. That's never gonna make it out. Those nights are really, like those nights are my favorite or nights when in the original room. It's half full It's a Wednesday. It's off. It might be just after like a holiday You know where it was like a three-day week and nobody wants to be there They were like paper tickets. You know that they're handing out on the worst. Yeah

Well today, but they can't out anything at the seller or no They don't hand out stuff at the seller, but thear now does this thing where like they have a QR code So if you're unhappy about something people are like saying stuff What would you mean they can comment about the comics? Yeah, like fuck that Yeah, they'll be like if you have any like questions or concerns or like let us know what your experience has been like and that was Not always the case and I think people who will just be upset by a joke like I had one set where I left there and I go that's gonna be a problem It was just too many jokes and upset too. I just knew it was and it was a problem What was the thing that you what you don't say the joke?

But what's the topic like I think it it was a it was a dark set and then I Went into like the Middle East and some girl in the audience went, next! And I couldn't let that go. And I couldn't let that go. And then when that happens, I like dig a deeper hole. Yeah, you're like, I'll just keep going. Deeper and deeper with her? How about the Middle East or about her?

I did the Middle East, and then I kind of, one other thing where I was like, are you trying to silence me? I'm like a white woman, I'm trans, I'm diabetic. Like I just went on that whole thing that upset her. And that was just upset. And then after I think I doubled down with like a school shooting joke,

like I just was so annoyed. Yeah, dig deep. Yeah, and when I listened, cause when Estie was like, we should have a talk. And I was like, ugh. I was like, what? Just like tell me. And that's the worst thing too,

when she like emails you and you're like, just tell me. Don't make me like have anxiety for three weeks till I see you. Right, just say what I did wrong. And she was like, just like tell me and that's the worst thing too when she like emails you and you're like just tell me Don't make me like have anxiety for three weeks till I see you right just say what she was like it's nothing bad I was like it's definitely it's bad. Yeah So I get rather talk to you about it in person like So I asked to see the sex because I knew what it was Yeah, I watch I was like this actually wasn't cuz I was like I hope I didn't call this girl Cuz that's the thing I was like I don't know I can get crazy like that, but I didn't call this girl a c***. Because that's the thing, I was like, I don't know, I can get crazy like that. But c*** okay, isn't that okay?

I think c*** is like, I don't know, I think people get really offended by it. I don't think it's offensive, but other people like, I just didn't know if I said that or not. So I watched it, I was like, actually I said better than I remembered. So when I seen her, she was like, you know, you're a good writer.

She was like, and yeah, smart joke. She was like, could you like spread out some of the darkness? I was like, and first she was like, well, don't, if someone says something to you, don't respond back to them. I go, well, that's not gonna happen. Because if you don't shut these people up, they'll just keep talking. Also, the seller used to shut everyone up.

They don't really do that anymore now. Well, you know why. This is the new world of like crowd work clips and all this stuff. Crowd work clips, and also they don't want negative reviews, I don't want negative reviews I don't think that's such bullshit. It's so crazy for a comedy club to have all positive reviews. There's no way Yeah, that'd be weird to me

Yes, but also I think two people are doing these crowd work clips too, so they don't want to shut them up It's like if anyone's talking to me. It's not that I want to talk to them I almost rarely will talk to someone in the audience And there's only so many people that are really good at that dance that can get back like Attell can get right back. Yes. He can do it and get right back in a very like smooth way because he ingratiates himself so well that everyone's like okay we'll listen again. But I think a lot of comedy clubs are I don't know I think a lot of them are just like don't want

people in the crowd to be upset. I feel like that's it well I don't know, I think a lot of them are just like, don't want people in the crowd to be upset. I feel like that's, I don't feel like it was that, like that years ago, and I feel like now every comedy club is like, wants everyone to have a good time, obviously, but like, doesn't want to ruffle any feathers. Like I worked at the cellar where like, the cops got called, I had to get walked to my car. Like that's not, I don't know how that would go down now.

That's not a good review. That's not a good review, but this was years ago. Yeah, just ask that girl next time if she wants to shoot a sketch outside. You want to go outside and shoot a sketch? Like a little sketch we can shoot. Yeah, but I was just saying, it just seems like the culture, and this was before Crowd War closed,

but it just seems it's changed a bit. Yeah, well, I will say, I'll toot our own horn a little bit, but the Comedy Store, they're no bullshit. They'll throw you the fuck out real fast They don't play and they're still trained like really clip people and I will say the mark that The mark that was left by Mitzi was that like the comics rule so Fuck them if they don't like it. They can have they can fuck off She's pretty pretty good about that's kind of the standard at the store still.

Mothership is obviously like that because. Well yeah, because yeah. Right, but like that's great. Like as soon as someone talks, they should be like, you're getting out of here. Get out, get out. You know the only time that I, and I'll play with someone a little bit if they're getting too much and I'll go, I love you too, but it's usually some idiot being like,

fuck, I just love you, I love you too man. Right, they love you so much but they can't contain it. I love you too but you gotta cut it out. Cause you're gonna fuck up the rest of the show for everybody. And you're gonna get kicked out. Yeah, I've only had to do it like, I love you so much, but they can't contain it. I love you too, but you gotta cut it out. Because you're gonna fuck up the rest of the show for everybody. And you're gonna get kicked out. Yeah. I've only had to do it, like, honestly, a very handful of times, but like, it's... When it does happen, it's a relief for everybody, because you're like, dude, we tried so hard. You're ruining it for everyone.

Yeah, don't do it. We tried so hard to let you stay. We want you to stay. I want you to have your pick your chicken wings and your in your pizza But sometimes they're just too drunk. Yeah, I mean certain cities to our it's undeniable. We played Where was the guy Philly the guy that threw up on the first three rows? I mean why? I'm not this is insane. Also people in Philly drink as soon as they wake up like it's crazy before the show started when people were getting Seated some guy over like two rows They click we I opened up the curtain to look I'm not kidding 30 seats This guy's spray was a Baltimore a Philly or Baltimore is one of the two goes Baltimore trash

I love Philly so much because if my parents were there sitting right next to where the puke came down Oh, it was Baltimore then that's right, and it was on but I was I was impressed I was like this guy barf before the show it happens. Why did well over the door up someone threw up in the balcony, too? And he threw up down. Yeah, and then somebody came down cleared out his row Cool getting seated my friend was at a show and this guy had a stroke and he just shit his pants in the front row And like you just kind of have to stop the show, and get this guy outside, but there's like shit. By the way, that's how they seat.

They're like, you look like you got a stroke, you wanna be in the front row? I was at New York Comic Club one night, and this lady was maybe, where was she from, maybe England? I don't know, but she fell, she must have passed out, and then shit and then went in the bathroom and made a mess in there and then she went to go into the showroom to sit down Oh ma'am

Yes and they were like we're calling you an ambulance you have to get the fuck out of here Is this not okay? Yeah not really Back home we can do this just fine I think the husband had no idea that she just shit all over the floor and then shit all over the bathroom And she had like a dress on and none of it was on her dress. It was like that's crazy. That's class That's English keep that shit contained. Yeah, they're good at that. I had a poor person. I had some person

I don't even know if it was a man or a woman or whomever but at Nashville Zanies on the there's like you know the top balcony yeah someone had like a medical emergency as well say because we don't know what it was but it was like so creepy and scary because the silence was deafening like I thought somebody died like legitimate had a heart attack and died and everybody was just standing up kind of giving me like these eyes I was like okay well let's take a break let's let everybody calm down and what happens like some of the game came and then they I think I think somebody

Who is that? I bet I think Bobby Bobby saw somebody idiot. I think somebody what a loser. That was wild timing What are you doing? What are you doing? Say hi, don't be rude. Hello. What are you doing here, by the way? You're an hour early and you're interrupting my pod wait wait come here hey Robert What a cunt say hello and fucking say I'm sorry For interview interrupting the show you're doing do you want to sit on my lap queen huh? Get a queen of comedy right here. No don't let him sit down although the azembeck is working do the kids looking thin oh my god, you're so skinny losing his butt

You are losing your butt. I'm not gonna lie. You have lost your butt Your baby your BBL is gone Go get a coffee and leave. I don't want to fucking talk to you anymore pig. I Hate him so much you guys love each other more than anything on planet Earth. I wish you guys were gay. We're pretty close. The comments would argue we are. You are gay, I love that. The amount of people in the comments that say like,

this shit is so gay, it's gross. Cause we are pretty free on the show, but people get really creeped out by it. I think people get mad. We had a drag queen do a book reading and people got real mad about that. And the book was called don't touch my dinosaur Was it a good book really good and she killed she was so good. What did she do?

She was just reading her she was dancing a little bit of everything really she was a performer. Okay I like a performer. It was a performance It is weird cuz when all of the like people are upset about like the drag queens doing I'm like How come they were all unemployed though and able to read to kids? That was like my one concern where I'm like, how come they were all unemployed though and able to read to kids? Like how come none of them have jobs? That was like my one concern where I'm like, why are none of them employed? Yeah, what are they up to?

I guess. They're probably just comics waiting for spots at night. Maybe that's true, yeah, so the days are free. I mean, we're in drag, we pretend like we. Are regular people. Regular people. And so it's, what a lie. Yeah, that's true. It's like the best lie of all time that we,

when we do go out in public and we don't know how to function When you see comics in public when you see a comic in public that doesn't know you're seeing them It's such a funny experience. Yeah, look at how weird this person looks in the wild Just like roaming around by themselves lost. Yeah with a headphone in trying to be cool a little bit It's not working It's it's like if it feels like how when a robot isn't integrated yet and they're trying to make it like talk to people and you're like, oh no, it's not working, is it? Like Mark Norman. It's not working. Why is it not working? Yeah, I do love the kid. He's kind of my...

He's my little comedy soulmate. Yeah, I could see that. Like have you found one? I feel like I keep switching, I could see that. Like have you found one? I feel like I keep switching. I have a couple. Louie is definitely your comedy soulmate a little bit. Maybe.

I think so. He fucking loves you. I don't know. He does. I guess so. It's weird. I don't know how to take love. Yeah, I can see, I know.

Yeah. Watch this. I love you. That's weird. See? That's so uncomfortable. I really love you. Oh my God, See I really love you. I love you so much What's the last time you had a sip I actually had a glass of wine with Ari and Louie. I took them out for like doing everything for me Yeah, like a thank you. We got like a bottle of wine. I don't think wine is that good

So foot grapes, it's not great. Not a fan. I don't even understand it. But I do like anything where I can like not, where I can numb out and just like not think about stuff. You say you switch, like you switch your addictions. Sure. Is there one that you're afraid to touch because you know that it'll like cripple you forever? Maybe like heroin? I feel like that's everyone though. You say that but I don't know I turned off to the culture more than anything. Oh I think I'd have a good time. Because I'm kind of a neat freak. I think I think you would totally not care about being neat. I think it might be exactly what you need. The anxiety of becoming

uneat is why. But you're gonna not even care you're like I'm so uneat right now. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, I'm like in this park. Oh, God. Imagine me on heroin, everyone's nodding off and I'm cleaning up the house while people are nodding off in my home. They might love that. Yeah.

You'll be the only person that knows exactly where their heroin is. And knows my base level. Cause everything's tidy. Like I know exactly how much age to do. There's a story about a professor that did heroin recreationally. Really?

Yes. Who is this? You can ask that guy. Yeah, ask the kid. I'll look it up. And he was in a pretty prestigious university, I think. Maybe NYU? Is it Carl Hart?

Well, go ahead, your guess is as good as ours. I have no idea. Just popped up. What does it say he did? What professor is he? He did heroin recreationally. It's because what a cool thing. I mean, he's known for research on recreational drug use.

I mean, he popped up when I looked up professor recreational heroin ah doesn't look like he looks pretty young actually maybe when was this two years ago I was gonna say maybe this is the guy during like the during like you know the I think he's black right he is what the acid test years though there was a lot of yeah this is him so that is a recreational heroin user, Carl Hart. He's 58, he looks great. I wonder if sometimes he does it,

he's like, I wanna do more, but then that people, what they say about me will be right. Like he's fighting to not do more heroin, probably all the time. I'm sure. Because everyone's like, you're gonna one day not be able to come back. He's like, no, I have it under control.

Right. And every time he does it, he's like, I fucking want so much more. Yeah, it took him 25-five year research career. He found that most drug use scenarios cause little or no harm and that some responsible drug use scenarios are actually beneficial for the human health and functioning. Sure, but not the best one. He revealed heroin though was one of them.

Yeah, I think like that's a very small percentage I could recreationally do heroin. I would assume it's just him. I think it's just him. He's NEO. It's just him He's neo There's got to be only like that. That is such a selective thing in fact you've heard these stories about like The acid test years and those professors said like there was a lot of Experimental acid use and they said that they all kind of kept it under control

But the truth really is they all broke like everybody yeah, you have to go buck wild yeah Because they were like well. I want to try an extra dose tonight, just for the research. He looks great though. That's exactly what- Wow, he looks fantastic. You know why? Because you're sleeping so much.

Yeah, you're napping. You're constantly napping. Yeah, you're just sleeping, so you just look like in a restful state, I think. I guess I could use some heroin to get some sleep. I don't sleep well. It actually wouldn't be bad for you. All right. Again, this is probably the worst legal advice I don't actually wouldn't be bad for you. Hmm. All right again

This is probably the worst legal advice I've ever had I'm not your legal counsel and you are I'm your friend. I know but honestly I have to trust you in case I get busted. We can't I can't do that. That's fine Don't trust that to me have Bobby is your lawyer. No fucking way. There's no good Asian lawyers There is no good Asian look to Google that are there any good There's no good Asian lawyers. There is no good Asian lawyers. Google that. Are there any good Asian lawyers? There's gotta be at least one.

There's one? Like there's gotta be one good Asian lawyer who's just, who's a baller. He's the guy that... He's killing it. Every Asian person wants to hire them. We can't get ahold of Chang. He's impossible to book. Dalip Singh Sound. Oh, Dalip Singh Sound. Yeah, I know him.

Yeah, okay. No, Dalip Singh Sound is famous. Famous, famous. I'm having date over right now. You've never heard of this guy. Dalip Singh Sound. Oh, it says he's Indian, though. Which is technically Asian. It is, but it's not the kind of Asian we were talking about. You know what the fuck we're talking about, dude.

Don't play that game. He's just the first one that popped up, so maybe what we were talking about was true. Was there no picture? No. Fine. Then I looked him up, and then it was. Dalip Singh Song, though. Yeah, was there no picture? No, fine. Then I looked him up and then it was. Dilip Singh song though. Dilip Singh song. Hiram Hiram Fong. Oh, Hiram Fong.

These are all lawyers that were uh, this guy became a US senator Really? There you go. Born in Honolulu though. I like Dilip Som better. Dilip Som. More fun name Yeah, Dilip Singh song. Dilip Singh song. He was the first Asian American elected to Congress Well, that's how come no, no, what's his name? The lip sing song sing sound SA you and this is the Indian guy. Yes. Yes, but we again he's taking this Asian thing cuz they're allowed to But you know, come on. Isn't that funny when you have that if you have a conversation with them and they like excuse me. You're like you know what I mean. I'm not come on. You're not one of them You're one of those elected in 57. That's crazy. That is crazy. What a time. What's the what's the last country or last? Yeah, what's the last country you'd visit?

Like before I die. What's like the last country to visit before you die? I Don't know I just like the beach. I liked Australia. Yeah, that was fun. Did you go see those quacas? We did. Were they cute? We went to Rottnest Island. Yeah, they're cute.

They're like big rats. Did you go with them to Australia? Yeah. That's really cool for you. Privilege. Wow, that is very privileged. It makes me sick, dude. You should have hired a black person

so you could take them to all these places. We thought about it, but talk about unreliable. So what I was- Yeah that is actually- they don't make a good case for themselves. You just want to help them and you can. No he was- you know what we got him because he was a vulnerable sweet- he was a vulnerable sweet young man that works. He makes a lot of mistakes though.

An unbelievable amount of mistakes. Like major major ones yeah dude he has some fuck does he book your flights and stuff no I would never let he's too dumb to do that he can barely book his own shit he's not a bright kid he's committed dedicated and artistic shoes doesn't mean he's dumb yes they do no yes they means I'm a hard worker I work my shoes to the bone Why like that see the kid thinks there's bones and shoes. That's how dumb is Fucking idiot don't do that. What kind of mistakes does he make? He slipped up on a lot of weird stuff. He's overslept. He's not he's not come in on time I said I'm not done that like once or twice and he's done it enough

I used to talk to a guy that was a foot doc a foot surgeon and he overslept and he like lost his job Really one time was he out partying? I don't think so He he was he used to be like an alcoholic and he wasn't he didn't want to go to a meetings because he was scared He's gonna see someone there that like would tell on him. I was like, yeah, but you're getting help for it But yeah, he overslept and then he just... Why do alcoholics anonymous? It's so not anonymous. Why don't they have those things... Where you just wear a bag over your head? They should have some... Or like a priest, you know, like a confessionary or something.

They should all be in separate cubicles where you don't see people. Well maybe for LA because everyone here is like famous, but in like Kentucky, who cares? You go to fame, they go to fame. Well, Kentucky even worse because it's a small town that everybody knows all your business. But everyone already knows. That's also true. I think here though. You should have some sort of separation There should be an a where you're segmented. I think zoom and stuff. That's probably better Yeah, but you have to feel the presence of people to make you know cuz to cuz zoom I mean when you do zooms you're like I'm doing everything else while I'm on zoom. I'm texting. Yeah, I'm cooking

I'm taking a bath on Zoom. You could, you could do whatever you want. I'm taking a full bath on Zoom. Yeah, it's meaningless. It is meaningless. And it also can't communicate how you really feel. It's impossible. Phone meetings are better probably

because you have to actually be on the phone and hear someone, I guess. And there's something about the tone of your voice in a phone that tells something more than the Zoom. Zoom can be faked. Yeah, I guess I could see that. But anyway, this guy is like a foot surgeon or whatever and I used to kind of make fun of him because I think it's like a loser doctor Well, it's not chosen for sure that's that's last that's like a last resort yeah, you ended up there

No one goes at the loser of doctors the loser of doctors is The loser of doctors is Pete what is the kind of what's the kid one pediatric pediatrician that's loser doctor. You're a loser or something a lot worse No, you're a loser doctor because honestly You're not really fixing much what if you're like a child surgeon awesome, okay beautiful people So just the pediatrician part is like a general practice going that's like Yeah, you got this guy post bullshit I bet I could probably don't you feel like you could be a pediatrician 100% like you would probably not misdiagnose kids

I mean, it's pretty easy and also they're fine. They'll be fine. They'll grow out of it their bones If something happens you'll well now yeah, you'll be fine. It's like you start growing like that We're gonna say you're fine. have spinal bifida whatever the fuck scoliosis those tests in school they made you bend down in front of such a I had to do that in front of my doctor without clothes on I don't think that's normal that was a fetish he had it was a woman how old were you it was also a black doctor I feel like she did it to like put me in my place I was's right. I was like, I'm wearing nothing, I'm bending down, touching my toes,

you're just looking at my asshole. It's a little weird. To make you spread? No. Yeah, spread would have been even funnier. That would have been, I think that's when my mother would have drawn the line. I think my mom was also there.

That's such an uncomfortable, my dad, when I got my first physical for sports, and the guy was feeling my balls, and my dad stood there and I was like, why is this okay? Why do we need you to... why? How come he wasn't in prison then? No no stepdad, stepdad should have clarified. But you know what? That's really weird your stepdad there. Nah he's a good dude he was a good... he was like my dad. No I don't mean like, I just mean like I don't need you there. Well they hate... because I was a minor I think you have to have an adult in the room because I was 15 or whatever when I played high school you know I played and

get that when I got to high school and I did the thing I think he had to be in the room legally. I was 15 or whatever when I played high school. You know, I played, when I got to high school and I did the thing, I think he had to be in the room legally. Right, but 15-year-old enough to know if you were getting molested. Yeah, but it doesn't mean you'll keep it a secret. Irritable. No, no, you shouldn't keep it a secret. Know what I'm saying, but they can manipulate you at 15.

Boys at 15 are 10. They're basically 10. Wow. He still seems like he's 10. Well, he 100% was molested and I mean it whole heart. Oh you were he has night terrors He screams at night. He's just how do you know he's oh god? And he would yell no, please stop don't oh my god bunk sometime into the main and wake up standing. I'm like, oh no Genuine, why do you take this guy with you on the road? That's horrifying.

We kinda wanna see him break. I don't know, he might be a fucking murderer. No, he's too, no, honestly, he's such a softy. You say that. Look at his eyes, he's got big blue eyes. But he does have serial killer face. Didn't Bundy also have eyes like that? Bundy was a babe.

But the guy that shot the CEO, I think is hotter than Ted Bundy so hot the Italian kid Luigi Luigi Do you see they put out that they were like he had back problems and everyone's like oh? I love that they like they're giving him context to why he was in pain I Want I still don't know what the reason was why he did it We're about to find out in a day or two I heard he kind of lost his mind and like alienated himself from his family for like a last couple of months and they Hadn't heard from him, and this is how they heard. Yeah but

what's the root of that? Somebody was like there's Luigi. There he is. He's in New York. How'd he get there? What are you doing in New York Luigi? You killed this man. Come back home. Come back home I'll make you a better. He's like I murdered somebody like yeah but you come home. You come home you can come back. You can come back. We all murder somebody. I, but you come home you come home. You can come back we are Come on it's a family tradition. I call them you murder you come home Yeah, he they get they I can't believe they got him, but I do have this conspiratorial part of me That's like that ain't him that ain't the killer. You don't think it is No, I don't they were like they found a manifesto in his backpack. It was like really I feel like that's mine calm I I found a manifesto in his backpack. It was like, really? I feel like that guy- It was just a mind comp. Yeah. I don't believe that he had a manifesto.

I just, these things seem too clean. He wrote a manifesto and carried it around with him and got stopped at a McDonald's. It's like, what? You're telling me he made it out of New York only to get caught at a McDonald's? In Pennsylvania. Bullshit.

It seems like bullshit. Do you think that he's doing this to like throw him off their tracks for that real killer a piece of me does a piece of Me also thinks that like NYPD and everybody yeah, look at him cute. What is he holding? He's holding a happy meal Well the Lion King one seems a little bit like Arrested development doesn't he seem like a hundred. Yeah, he sounds like a kid. He looks like a cute little kid Yeah, you've seen him with a shirt off. They had a picture of his ripped. Yeah, he's jacked. That's good for prison huge for prison He's gonna be hot, but if I'm if you're that guy you're Pennsylvania. You're going so far. I'm going so far away

But if he's mentally insane like he probably thought he wasn't gonna get caught Yeah, I guess but you just just disappeared somewhere in the Carolinas. You're good. Appalachian, dude, you're gone. Who the fuck wants to live in the mountains like that? But they'll never know you're there. That's what's crazy. Go to Mexico. Too far. That's far.

That's really far from New York. I mean, you have the time. You're not working. Yeah, but you can't fly, so you gotta find a way to constantly get car rides to get south. That's so far. It doesn't seem like it's that far. Bappalachian Mountain seems way further. It's much closer to New York.

Well, I don't know. We gotta get you a map. Oh, I'm not good with locations. Maps, yeah. It's very, it's much further. Significantly so. Well, okay, what's the first border town if you're headed south from New York? What's the first Mexican border town?

We used to go party at a border town south of Texas. Yeah, it'd probably be like El Paso or something, like right there on Texas. That might be the closest. That's so far. It's very far. That's like a 24-hour drive. I mean, he got caught days later. I can tell that you haven't left New York. No.

That you grew up and stayed there your whole life. I did. Because you're like, Appalachia seems like it's further than... I never know where anything is. I know. I always think that everything's like an hour away It's like an hour away. Yeah, because for you kids it was growing up everything on the East Coast was like How do you get there? It's 45 minute drive. Sure. We drove everywhere

And you can get right, but I don't know where anything is really you're not good with any like Minneapolis. No No clue where that is. I know it's that way I know I can't go into it's It's the water and then that way. Did your family vacation when you were a kid? We didn't vacation anywhere good. We went to Pennsylvania. Yeah, never Jersey Shore. Did we go to Wildwood?

Maybe we did Ocean City. No Long Island? No. Never. That's fancy. Yeah, we were not fancy. Yeah, you were kind of like trashy not trashy working class I Know if only one of your parents works is it working class. It's work class It's a class. It's a class. My mom should have been working

Could you get it older? You're like, hey, why did you just do nothing and we had nothing? Why did you go do something so we had some what is what is her like I was taking care of you guys But she wasn't She was not present. No, she was like, hi I guess I just saw Ryan this like we would I guess high school is like a mile away from where we lived and it Would be freezing and she had a car and didn't work and she would just be sleeping and we walked to school What? Was she an addict at all? She's like depressed, but like we're all depressed lady.

Yeah. Drive me to fucking school and then go back to sleep. Right. We're depressed. Just put the sun visor low. My mom's very selfish though. Like one day, so she was going through a divorce and I worked for this divorce attorney and I called him up and I was like, hey will you meet with my mom? And it was like 45 minutes from my house, so I pick her up, we go drive there,

we go meet him, and at the end she goes, is there a reason why I'm opening all of the doors? I go, what? I go, you're just getting there faster. I'm like, walk slower. She's like, I don't know why I'm opening all the doors. It's like, I literally took all day to come here, bring you to this guy, and that's what

you're saying. Sounds like a lovely woman. She's just like real selfish. Is your mom hot? She's okay. She sounds like she's got it like that. I mean she must. She always gets husbands that like pay for everything, but she's fucking annoying.

Yeah, but that's why they like her. You think? Yeah, there's a duality. There's a thing that happens when she's cute and good looking good-looking annoying is perfect. Well. She's annoying all right But you love her say we love her I do love her sure yeah, I mean about how many siblings I Have one sister and then a bunch of half siblings that I haven't met You don't know who they are at all I know who one of them is.

So I grew up like a mile away from my biological father and his family. Whoa. Yeah. So you'd see him all the time? No, I seen him like once in Caldors when I was a kid. And then I met him in 2017 and that turned into a whole fiasco.

His whole family's jealous. He was sneaking around to see me. I'm like, this is weird, dude. Sneaking around to see his own kid? Yeah, because he had married someone that had two kids before him, so that wasn't his birth child. And she was jealous of me. I mean, the whole thing was crazy. His wife wrote me a seven or eight page, like,

handwritten letter to stay away from her Joey. It was crazy. Who has the time to read that? I mean, I did. I read it on my podcast at the time. I wish I could find it because the letter was so crazy. It was like a long threat to get out of her life forever. Yeah it's like I don't need to be in your like I don't want you guys in my as my family I

was just meeting him. I just want to see the guy. Yeah he has red hair well now it's gray. That's your connection. Red hair yeah. That's why we like you maybe world mean we're both Hungarian also oh yeah Hungarian Jews that's right and you're Mexican so we know mm-hmm and we're Mexican I want everyone to do me a favor go buy a ticket to see the app app dog the app dog what your website is a dream of aallucci.com. Yep. We'll put in the link in the description below.

Please go buy tickets, because she's saying that, oh, people aren't going to come by my channel, and you're going to make me, but you will. And you should, because you're extremely funny. You're very talented. Thank you. And I would say to any of my black fans listening. Do you have a big black fandom?

Two, two guys. Ooh, I love it. That's two more than me. Two guys. She's available, she's single, right? I am single, yeah. So get back out there. I just, I can't, if you have a lot of problems,

I just can't. You gotta be a real easy going guy. You gotta be an easy going guy. Easy going guy. Really gotta put up with a slow and low lifestyle and no drama. That's all she wants. No kids either.

No kids, fuck that. Unless they're older, unless they're older. Unless they're 30. Unless they're like, Out of high school. 20. Out of high school, gotta be out of high school and then she's available.

Or you just abandon them and it's also fine. Same, same. Same, same. Go see her live, please, I mean it. I appreciate you coming here. Thank you so much for having me. I know you're on a big run. Please watch on Netflix right now. Go watch The Dark Queen. And we end the on a big run. Please watch on Netflix right now.

Go watch The Dark Queen. And we end the episode the same way. Look into that camera right there. You say one word or one phrase to end the episode. It could be a word, could be a phrase. It's your choice. This is a lot of pressure. Yeah, a lot of people say that, but you'll find it in your heart.

What can bookend the episode better than whatever's in your heart and soul? Dead babies? In here, we pour whiskey. Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the Ginger Beer. heart and soul.