Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Anastasia Ashley
Episode Date: October 25, 2019Santino sits down with pro surfer and instagram influencer Anastasia Ashley and they get nice and loose. They chat about pushing the limits of the sport of surfing, taking drugs and traveling the worl...d. FOLLOW ANASTASIA: https://www.instagram.com/anastasiaashley/?hl=en FOLLOW CHEETO: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/?hl=en TICKETS AT http://www.andrewsantino.com/ STAND UP DATES NOV 8-9 NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE NOV 10 HUNTSVILLE, ALABAMA NOV 15-16 SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA NOV 21-23 INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA DECEMBER 6-7 BREA, CALIFORNIA JAN 9-11 EDMONTON, AB, CANADA JAN 16-18 DENVER, COLORADO FEB 22 BAKERSFIELD, CALIFORNIA FEB 28 DETROIT, MICHIGAN FEB 29 ATLANTA, GEORGIA MAR 6-7 PHILLADEPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA MAR 13 CHICAGO, ILLINOIS MAR 27 CINCINNATI, OHIO MAR 28 CLEVELAND, OHIO APR 10 PORTLAND, OREGON APR 11 SEATTLE, WASHINGTON APR 16-18 MIAMI, FLORIDA APR 19 WEST PALM, FLORIDA MAY 9 PHOENIX, ARIZONA CLEAN UP YOUR NUTS; GO TO https://www.manscaped.com AND USE PROMO CODE WHISKEY RELAX AND SOOTHE YOUR BODY AND MIND WITH CBD FROM https://ua-cbd.com/shop/ USE PROMO CODE WHISKEY20 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger.
My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth.
I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again.
Today, it's Anastasia Ashley.
Hey!
Hey.
Cheers to you.
Cheers.
Okay, we're drinking some delicious Buffalo Trace in our cups today.
We've already had one.
Well, I've had one, and I poured a little bit more, so we'll see how this goes.
We'll see how this goes.
I'm excited.
I mean, I could have three more.
You can have as many as you want.
It's right there
you can either have
what's in here
that's Eagle Rare
or the Buffalo Trace regular
you can have anything
you want
anything your heart desires
you came into my house today
yes
with a surfboard
yes
and some luggage
because you were in Malibu
right
surfing
for people that don't know
she is a world renowned
am I allowed to say that I don't know what the technical terms you-renowned, am I allowed to say that?
I don't know what the technical terms.
You're a world-renowned surfer.
Can I say that?
Yes.
Yeah, that's fine, right?
World-renowned surfer, model.
Can you say model?
Personality?
Yeah.
What are the appropriate tags?
So people always ask me this, like, what exactly do you do now?
Well, I know what you do, but what's the right tag?
Like, what's the right label?
I'm like, whatever you want to call me. me i'm like i like to just have fun so like if
you want to say i'm a surfer model internet internet person i get that a lot like because
people will say oh you're an influencer i kind of hate that word so i'm like is it a dirty word
i feel like it's not dirty but i had such a career before the internet. So that's where I'm like, I'm not really just an internet person.
But the internet catapulted your surfing career, correct?
Yes, 100%.
So it's kind of funny to think like you were somebody who had a career prior,
but the internet kind of juiced you.
It gave you the boost in surfing.
Well, what's great that the internet did for me, at least,
is that, you know, unfortunately,
surfing isn't the biggest sport, but it made it, it reaches, on the internet, you can reach
a lot of people.
So people who wouldn't watch surfing on TV, because it's not really on TV, can now watch
it on the internet.
Surfing would be on TV when all the sports are taking a break, right?
Then they would throw on like that World Surfing Champions. Yeah yeah i feel like that's what they do yeah let me see
let's see how familiar i am um kelly slater yes andy irons yes um and then you i mean that's all
i like that's all i know that's all you need is that a good class of people that i'm supposed to
know yes like comparing me to kellyater and you, I'm perfect.
Okay, cool. I'm so ignorant to surfing.
And I'm so garbage at it. I was gonna ask
you, when we met, so
Anastasia and I met
2015?
Yeah, I was gonna say. 16?
Yeah, it was probably
three or four years ago. And I was doing
this thing and I was doing
this character show, this character sports show. And I wanted you to teach me how to surf. But then I thought
I'm going to look like such an asshole because you're good at surfing. And I'm going to look
worse than I already look. Cause I can't surf. Like I, I snow, I snowboard. I love snowboarding.
I grew up skateboarding. Surfing is fucking impossible to me. I don't know why I just,
it doesn't click
something is missing because they're not transferable it's not like i feel like people
that skateboarded could learn how to surf i mean i'm sorry learn how to snowboard but i don't think
it's the same i just don't feel like it's it's not there is no transfer there so do you think
that one day we can get you out there no no chance no way i'll wave to you from the side i'll be
drinking on the on the beach i kind of like that you're ripping dude that's it i'll be sitting
there go fuck it no one does this right nobody does this no they do they do they do this and
then they do for people listening the head nod oh the head oh what's up sup what's up is there
is there really still so you were in malibu surfing today is there really still fights in
the water do people still fight oh my water? Oh my gosh, yes.
That's a big deal, huh?
People try to fight me.
Shut up.
Grown men.
Really?
Yes.
Like they talk shit?
For the audience at home, people don't know, catching waves, catching a wave, bruh, it's
a big fucking deal.
And when you get in someone's way or someone's line, right, it's a fight.
Oh yeah.
It's a big fight.
You got to look at it this way.
There's only a certain amount of waves in a surf session right dude there's only so many fucking waves dude
so some people you know who are the morning warriors they're out there are weekend warriors
they get one hour this might be their one good wave of the day what time do they go out i mean people go and i say people i do this as well like 5 6 a.m
dawn patrol it's like you're up at 4 30 4 o'clock to get down there to get your wave before work
fuck really yeah so you can imagine if you get in someone's way it doesn't matter if you're
a child a woman another guy it's like they some people see red it's a fight to the death yes but it's so this
this is like anything else this is why i'm so interested in the world because like it's like
anything else where um there's egos there's there's power there's levels so like the better
surfers obviously get the priority right and people know who the better surfers are they know
in their circles there's always clicks andiques and crews. There's localism.
Yeah, see, this is,
it's a microcosm for everything in the world.
It's like how high school was filled with all the same kind of fucking shit
where like these people versus these people.
It's the same way in the real world of business
where you click up with people
and people have power
and there's ego
and you get to choose like
who gets to get that wave and why.
And sometimes there's no rhyme or reason.
And you just get to throw yourself in the mix of all of it.
Yeah, and I think it really comes down to intimidation and confidence.
Well, you seem like you would fight.
You seem like a fighter.
You would fuck shit up.
I would.
So I learned when people, especially men, who have tried to fight me or say something negative to me,
that the best thing you do is say something back.
You talk shit back.
Yes.
Like, give me the example.
What would they say to you?
I got to say the worst thing I've heard, and I've heard this multiple times.
Shouldn't you be at home cooking?
Oh, so whack.
What a whack this. Yeah. Should you be in the kitchen yeah what's
your common comeback what's your response i say you can say anything on this podcast no i know
but i would say something i've said like i'll be like no sweetie that's for you oh you bitch yeah
like i like i make them my bitch you make them and then how many of these guys that talk shit
are you better at surfing then i'd say probably 90 95 like i'll say that's the guys that are
actually good yeah don't talk shit yeah because they know better right because they know i think
it's like the guys that you know maybe they're jealous that i could maybe get more waves because
i'm a girl it can you know obviously i've gotten waves also because I'm a girl, but.
Why?
Because people like let you have them?
Yeah.
Or maybe they're flirting with me or something.
Yeah.
You know.
But you flirt back, don't you?
No.
Don't lie.
I don't.
You don't ever flirt back at all?
When I'm in the water, I'm like zoned in.
Right.
Right.
Like, cause I, I'm there to surf and I'm there not to be social.
Yeah. So. But, but, but right. Like, because I'm there to surf, and I'm there not to be social. Yeah.
So...
But, right, there is a game to be played, and they're playing the game, and you just
let them do it, right?
Yeah.
That's smart.
That's just being a smart girl.
Yeah.
That's all that is.
Yeah, go ahead and flirt with me.
Let me have your waves.
I'm like...
But I, like, you know, I engage a bit, but I'm...
For the most part, when I'm out there, I'm just, like, serious.
Yeah.
But what's
interesting to me is like you surfing encapsulates so much of your life and it's it's it's hard
because someone someone's like what do you do for fun and then a part of you is like i fucking surf
for fun yeah but it's also it's your job but it's also is there is there some is there some days you
have like comedy is fun as fuck for me.
It's my job too.
But I have days or we have days when like sometimes it's a job.
Do you have those days where you're like, it's a fucking job?
100%.
Yeah.
I mean, I'll tell you.
So I get to travel and go all these awesome places now.
I've always done that, right?
Like here, you're back here in California.
I mean, I'm right here at your house.
Yeah, you're inside my home now.
I mean, this is like a dream.
It's a dream come true.
I have booze.
I got good company, you know?
And I get to do these things now that growing up,
and I never got to travel and do fun, exciting things.
It was always like you're up at five o'clock in the morning
you're training you're focused it's and in that it's it's a job at the end of the day like if
you're making money from something it's still a job even if you're a comedian a surfer a dj
what have you well djs don't really have a job to do but i know what you mean yeah
but that's probably the easiest fucking job but no i know what you mean. Yeah. But that's probably the easiest fucking job. But no, I know what you mean. I want to DJ, too, on the side. We all want to DJ on the side. By the way,
DJ on the side is the name of my next stand up album. Please buy DJ on the side. I just think
yeah, no. But what you're saying is true is like it is at some point a job because there's work
that goes behind it, but people don't see it right in the same way. Somebody's like, oh, yeah,
she's just like naturally gifted she gets up
there and she rips and they have no idea how many hours of work it takes yeah i'm a firm believer
10 000 hours like 10 000 hours is how yeah that's we say the same thing in comedy that's you i think
it's probably like 20 like i've probably spent i was trying to do the math but then i just like
gave up because i was like this is too hard but. But I was like, I think it's like 20,000.
I probably have surfed 20,000, 30,000 hours.
How many hours are you in the water a day?
I would say now I'm not in the water surfing every day, but I work out or I'm paddle boarding.
I'm doing some type of physical activity, but probably for 20 years of my life, I was
in the water for about
four to five hours a day. Yeah. So 20 years. So we could do the math. Old scaly red skin over here.
I would be, I'd be dried out. I'd be so pruney after like half an hour in the ocean. I'm just
like a prune ball dried out. I can't, I am not an ocean guy. I feel like we need to get you in
though. I can't. Also the wetsuits for me for me is just, you look so, guys look so dumb.
Our bodies look so weird in wetsuits.
It shows everything.
Yeah, it looks so bad.
It's not like Lululemon pants where every girl with a, like, a girl who has a shitty ass.
I told my wife this the other day.
We saw this girl who kind of looked like she might not have had a good body, but then the pants made everything look great.
100%.
Yeah.
The fucking wetsuits are the opposite.
The moment I see a guy put on a wetsuit, I'm like,
you could see all of his lumpy shit, fat fart body falling out.
It's like a garbage bag of body shit.
It's so ugly.
I'm so scared to get in them because I don't want to look.
It makes everyone look dumpy.
It does.
Girls, if you're in shape as a girl, they look great. But even in shape guys kind of look dumpy in those things i agree i don't
know why it's like it's like suit pants you know when you see a guy in suit pants it has to be oh
yeah they have to be very tailored and very like well fitted for them to look good otherwise like
regular suit pants every guy looks like they have a fat like like Trump ass, like how Donald Trump's ass looks dumpy and fat.
I mean, it probably is.
But I'm just saying, like, it's just the wetsuit I can't do.
No.
And it makes you, your penis and the thing, I can't,
all that stuff weirds me out.
So I think if you decide to ever go surfing, it's Speedos.
Do people do that?
Do they Speedo surf?
There's a movement right now going on.
Shut up.
For real?
I'm not joking.
I'm doing it.
I'm doing it. I'm going to Speedo surf. Like like it used to be kind of hated on like oh that's weird or
like that's like trying too hard but now it's like a thing but it's cool yeah but the wetsuit
serves the purpose of keeping you warm right yeah yeah so then california it's like you you have to
have it because how cold yeah see the east coast is easy when you're over like if you're if you're
if you are down like in the Gulf or something like that.
Ugh, come on.
It's like hot.
You're like in a jacuzzi.
It's a hot tub.
Yeah.
Compared to California waters.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Our water's freezing.
I love going in.
I'm just not, I just, there's something about like the wetsuit material on my body and no.
So I'll be the Speedo surfer.
Yeah.
You don't ever surf in a bikini though.
I surf in a bikini all the time. You do? Mm- you do but i try to surf i try to place myself yeah year-round summer
that's my vibe okay so right now we're going into fall yeah so it's like technically gotta go into
hawaii you have to be in hawaii i want to be in a bikini. Yeah, that bad. You can't miss the summer.
I'm, you know, there's the most popular surf movie of all time, Endless Summer.
That's right, the Endless Summer, baby.
You can chase it.
And there's a great snowboard company called Never Summer, which I like the most.
See, I would rather, even though I live in California, I'd rather snow.
I love snow.
I just don't want to really like live in it, but I love going to it all the time.
Yeah.
I wish there was snow for me to go to year round close. I wish I could always go to snow. Cause I love the
sun. Like I love the warm weather, but God, I don't know something about a mountain. I love
the mountain is for me. The water is for you. I want to say this. Um, I'm going to show people,
I'm going to have, I'm going to have the editor put something right here. I'm going to show people
the video that, that like blew up on the internet internet i want you to comment about whether or not you
hate it you know what video i'm talking about oh yeah yeah do you hate it do you hate this video
that's playing right now right here literally i'm putting it right here right here right now um do
you hate it no i think it's fun what was the impetus for the whole thing was it on accident did you even know no so
like for me like i always like get in the zone and when i was competing i don't compete heavily
anymore yeah but you know it's it was like part of my routine it was part of my warm-up it was
your regiment yeah like like it's it was natural to me like i, I love music and, like, it gets me in the zone.
So.
Why not?
It was, yeah.
I mean, I think it's fun.
It is fun.
When it first came out, I was definitely, like.
Were you embarrassed?
I was a little embarrassed because it's like, you know,
I don't think people were used to seeing people have fun in the sport of surfing.
Yeah, I guess that's true.
Oddly enough, you're having so much fun in the ocean,
but prior to that, it feels so very strict for no reason.
Yeah, I think people were like,
oh, she's actually just like...
Don't do that.
Don't have emotions.
Just go surf, lady.
Don't you belong in the kitchen?
Yeah.
Yeah, they don't want you to express yourself.
Well, competitions always have this weird stiffness to them in general, right?
Exactly.
Across any board of.
Exactly.
You know, like whenever I see like, I'm still, I am still a big fan of skateboarding.
I love watching skateboard videos and I like following people online.
Like Nigel Houston, like these guys.
Yeah.
Oh, he has good parties.
Oh my God.
He's incredible, man. Oh, he has good parties? He has good good parties have you been to a niger party oh yeah yeah yeah do you
want to divulge i mean i'll just say he has good parties you know and he's known to get a noise
complainer too yeah yeah yeah well he's he's young and rich and talented he's so young so rich
so good at skateboarding. Let him do it.
Yeah, he has killer houses.
He has fun.
If someone deserves to burn the world down,
it's young, rich, talented people.
I don't care.
I used to be so negative about that when I was younger,
and then now that I'm a little bit older,
in my late 30s, I'm like, I don't give a shit.
I get it. If I was 24, whatever it is, 25, with that much money, that much talent,
I get being an asshole.
Or I get being not an asshole, but I get being like over the top
or just balling out and partying hard.
It was like when people used to make fun of Justin Bieber, I was like.
I've been to a Bieber party.
Yeah, it was like, what do you expect?
Can I tell you?
Yeah.
One of the best parties of my life.
Yeah, for sure right
yeah he's
I mean
he knows how to party
big house
huge house
good music
yes
what I mean
ever
I was like
you know
when I went to
like a Justin Bieber party
I remember being like
I was probably like 28
and everyone else was like
you know
12
19
yeah
but I was like
you know I'm here you were the old lady yeah I was like, you know. 12. 19. Yeah. But I was like, you know, I'm here.
You were the old lady.
Yeah, I was like the grandma.
At 28.
They're like, miss, do you want to, do you, is your wheelchair, do you need your wheelchair
to be brought up right now?
Are you ready to go?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's, who's the most, who's the most random celebrity party you've been to that you didn't
expect you'd be at?
Have you had one of those where you're like, how, how am I here?
Yeah.
I'd say probably like the Justin Bieber.
Justin Bieber's pretty random yeah and i also the the other random thing and
now it's funny because he's married to hayley baldwin right yeah okay i went to hayley baldwin's
like birthday party do you know her no like my friends were friends of hers and i was like
there and then like you know kylie jenner was there. Wow. And they were like young.
This was like years ago.
They were like 16.
This is when they were only millionaires, not billionaires.
Yeah, exactly.
That's cool.
Exactly.
I found myself, one time I went to Usher's birthday party.
That was probably the funniest, weirdest.
Wait, I think.
It was at.
Wait, was this like 12 years ago?
No, this was probably like
five, four or five years ago.
No, maybe, yeah, right around then.
God, we go to good parties, huh?
We go to good fucking parties.
I was at the one 12 years ago.
Yeah, you went to that one.
No, I went to Usher's birthday party at,
what is it, across from Soho House on Sunset?
I can't remember the name of that club
that's right there.
Oh, the karaoke place?
It's right, like it's right,
the first level there. God, I wish I could fucking's right, like it's right the first level there.
God, I wish I could fucking.
See, I'm not,
we're old.
I don't remember that shit.
But I went there
but it was like
Puff Daddy,
P. Diddy.
Look at me, I'm a dad.
Puff, Puffy Puff was there.
Busta Rhymes.
See, I've never been
to a Diddy party
but I've heard there.
Well, he was there.
It wasn't his party
but he was there.
It was an Usher party
but Diddy was there.
Diddy was there.
Busta Rhymes.
Dude, Busta Rhymes is sick.
He's dope.
Remember Omarion?
Do you remember him?
Hell yeah.
He was there.
It was so weird.
There were so many random people.
Justin was there.
There were so many random people there that I was like,
this is like a weirdly cast film in my dreams.
Like I was like, this isn't a real thing.
This is very strange.
But yeah, it was very fun.
I had a great time.
I got way, way, way too drunk, which is my thing.
That's what I do at a party when I don't know anybody.
I'm like, I'll just get so drunk and then get an Uber.
Yeah, it's either make friends or get out of there.
Like I went to Miley Cyrus' Halloween party one time and we knew nobody but ourselves like the few people i was with and yeah we just got
blasted ended up meeting a lot of cool people but at first i was like this is just going to be so
we don't belong we have yeah we had zero business being there like that i know there's no reason for
us to be there other than we knew i but see i go to those things for like the food and the drinks
you go for the food yeah like the drinks and like the part like but sometimes the food is
shit sometimes you go really yeah like well what do we go i made fun of it one time that we went
to the chain smokers hotel room in vegas at new year's eve is that where we were yeah and i was
like chain smoking those guys must rage they're like yeah super famous yeah we're in the room
the people like smoking cigarettes
and having like really deep conversations.
I was like, what the fuck is this?
I was like, this isn't what I came for, dude.
I want someone to be,
I mean, I wanted like something to happen,
especially because it was Vegas.
I was like, it's a room in Vegas.
Meanwhile, there were just,
it was ice cream.
Me and my buddy just ate ice cream.
I was like, this is the most sad, weird shit.
This is like depressing.
It was so sad.
It was garbage.
That sounds dark. Yeah, it was. The Chainsmokers are dark, dude. Yeah. No, it was just, this is the most sad, weird shit. This is like depressing. It was so sad. It was garbage. That sounds dark.
Yeah, it was.
The Chainsmokers are dark, dude.
Yeah.
No, it was just, you know, I think it was just the end of their party.
They're pretty smart guys, though.
Well, they probably have been.
If you live in Vegas, and I've lived in Vegas to shoot a show,
you partied so much so fast that at some point you're like,
I don't want to party anymore. Right. I have to live here for the next so many months. you're like, I don't want to party anymore.
Right.
I have to live here for the next so many months.
You're like, I'm not.
Everything kind of changes.
You reach a shift.
You become like a local in your mind when you're like, I'm not going to the fucking strip.
Yeah.
You know, like at first you're like, I'm going to the strip.
Let's party.
And after that, you're like, take me to the furthest place outside of the strip.
Let's go shoot guns in the desert.
Let me go do anything that's like away from the strip.
You're like at the spa.
Yeah, I was.
Yeah.
I was going to get rub downs out.
No, not rub downs.
I take it back.
You weren't going to the bunny ranch?
No.
I would never.
You're not hanging with Lamar?
I would never.
I thought whenever that show was on, I always thought I was like, what point would you go
to the hooker ranch? Like, why would you just- Like, where did would you go to the hooker ranch?
Like, why would you just...
Like, where did your life go wrong?
Where are you...
Why the hooker ranch?
Yeah, like...
If you're really going to get a hooker, why wouldn't you just get one to your hotel room?
Don't you think that would be the most logical?
Well, that's what I think.
It's like, you pay for the convenience.
Yeah, come to my...
I'm not driving to the hooker ranch.
Driving three hours, like, wherever.
I don't know.
What a nightmare.
What a nightmare.
I feel like that's a dark, like, you're just on a dark.
Do you think they would ever have, like, a brothel for women that has all men?
Would that ever exist?
That's a good question.
Maybe for older women.
Well, yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
But you know what's interesting?
I'm talking about good-looking women, young, good-looking women.
I don't, I mean, you never know.
Young, good-looking women can get what they need when they need it.
Yeah, that's true.
No, yeah, yeah.
But older women who are, like, frustrated.
I mean, I've seen 90-day fiancé.
Or, like, business.
Business women who are just hustlers.
They don't have time to, like, fucking do that shit.
Yeah, they don't want to deal with the guy's bullshit.
So, you know, maybe it'll exist one day.
Maybe it already exists now.
You just don't know.
Do you want to open one with me?
I mean, if there's a business, I like good businesses.
We like business.
Yeah.
I think we should do it.
I think we should open a little male ranch.
Well, they have, whenever I go to Vegas, they always have, if you want some more, you let
me know, by the way.
But this is the thing is I feel like, I feel like women though, more than the intimacy
or like sexual, it's, they just want someone to listen to their problems.
What else am I saying?
Our brothel, you wouldn't have sex.
It would just be like a conversation brothel. Yeah. Or like cuddle brothel problems you'd have a cuddle room you'd have a listen room you have a listen and
talk room we'd have a um uh we could also have a fake argument room where it's like a oh yeah
like mindless argument drama room but then we then it's a hug room after that yeah that's a
dual package you get in a fight then you go into the hug fuck room.
Right?
Yeah.
I think we're making up something beautiful here.
I think we should do this.
This female brothel.
Yeah.
Well, male brothel for females.
Yeah, whenever I saw that Bunny Ranch show,
I was always like,
these women are held captive.
It's so sad.
It's like a hooker jail. I remember that show.
Yeah, remember that?
Yeah.
That guy died. That guy, I don't remember. The only people I remember from the show are Air Force Amy. captive it's so sad it's like a hooker jail i remember that show yeah remember that yeah i died
that guy uh i don't remember the only people i remember from the show are air force amy people
at home gotta know what i'm talking about air force amy was like the big blonde with huge oh
yeah she was like the star she was the star yeah but she was a veteran yeah not like served in the
military she was like a veteran where she was like in her late 50s early 60s and she was i i like
that show because it kind of went into
their personal. I like the drama
between all of them and getting
the clients. Fighting for dick.
That's what they should have called it, fighting for dick.
Because they all would argue with each other
and who was the front line girl.
It was sad
in a way, but it was also...
Was it on HBO or Showtime?
Showtime. Was it Showtime?
Or maybe it was HBO. I on HBO or Showtime or Showtime was it Showtime yeah
something like
or maybe it was HBO
I just remember
I remember like
clicking and seeing the show
on TV
like TV then
and I was like
whoa
this is like
it's raunchy
this is showing a lot
like this is like
this is good
most men watched it
for porn purpose
like that it got them
close to porn stuff
yeah
because they would show them
in the room
but blur it you know
yeah that's yeah but I like the drama of it it was like i feel like it was like a bravo
show in a weird way it was like like real housewives it was bunny ranch it was reality
television before before reality tv kind of like took over all tv what's your guilty show what's
a show that you're embarrassed to tell me tell me the embarrassing show that you're like i shouldn't
admit it okay i have a good i have a good one. Give it to me.
It's so bad.
The relaunch of the new version of The Hills.
That's a thing again?
I'm so stupid, I have no idea.
The Hills are back.
The Hills on MTV, are they're doing it again?
Yes, it just came back a couple months ago.
Holy shit, I didn't know.
And it's like...
Is it great?
Can I tell you?
Everyone's faces look completely different.
Wait a minute.
It's the same cast?
It's the same people.
Am I crazy?
I don't know this?
Hold on.
The best part about it, they added one new person.
Is it called The Hills?
What is it?
Like The Hills again?
Or what is it called?
Yeah, it's like The Hills.
I'm thinking of The Hills.
How about it?
New Beginnings.
New Beginnings.
That's what it says.
The Hills, New Beginnings.
Right.
And it's all the same cast.
But can I tell you who they added?
Can I tell you who they added?
Who do they add?
Is that why it's so guilty and it makes no sense?
Who do they add?
Misha Barton.
Wait, who was in the, what was the show?
She was in the-
She was on The O.C.
The O.C., which is a fake version of The Hills, right?
Yes.
Isn't that what it is?
So they added an actual actress on a show that mocked them on their show.
Yes, isn't that crazy?
Wow, how fucking meta.
That's MTV going deep.
That's meta shit.
Misha Barton.
Has she not worked since then?
I don't think so.
She disappeared.
That's why I was like...
Didn't something happen to her?
Didn't she have a...
No, I think she had bad...
Didn't her brain not work?
No, she had bad management like people suing her
like i don't know i don't know whatever i'm not talking shit i don't fucking know her but i'm
just saying at some point uh she was on a huge show right that was he wasn't that show huge yeah
oh yeah she was california remember that yeah wait who else was on that show adam brody adam
brody yeah but adam brody was kind of a worked actor right wasn't he kind of like adam brody's California. Remember that? Yeah. Wait, who else was on that show? Adam Brody. Adam Brody.
Yeah.
But Adam Brody was kind of a worked actor, right?
Wasn't he kind of like...
Adam Brody's still doing...
No, but I'm saying then he was already a worked actor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everybody else was kind of...
Misha Barton, Peter Gallagher, also a worked actor.
Kelly Rowan, Ben McKenzie, but he's been in a lot of stuff.
He's like, yeah.
Rachel Bilson, right?
Melinda Clark, I'm lost.
Tate Donovan, right.
Alan Dale, right.
These are all just, and at some point, this is my favorite.
Let's go to the last name on IMDb.
Let's see if we recognize the last name.
Probably not.
It's going to be like girl at party with drink.
Scott Rogers, he was a waiter.
Shout out to Scott Rogers or Stephen P. Nick.
I hope these guys are listening to this.
I hope they're listening, and they're like...
Or Nanny.
Yeah, Yacht Club waiter.
Anyway, student.
It's just so mean sometimes.
These actors work their whole lives
to just get a role on something,
and they get one that just says student.
Acting is so weird.
I'm not being a dick.
It's such a fucking...
I mean, the fact that...
It's such a hard job to get to a place where you could like, I i'm doing a thing and they're like what's your name and they're like
car guy it's like fucking it's so sad i never i never wanted you have no you have no wants
no like people have been like oh do you want to do like a acting thing and i'm like no no i'm like
so you're telling me i'm gonna go to set and sit in a trailer for about seven hours.
Yeah, sometimes more.
And then go out for one hour,
and I'm going to speak two lines or whatever.
Give or take, yeah.
Give or take.
And it will probably get cut.
Yeah, most likely.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then I will probably make about $200 or $300.
More than that, but okay. Well, okay, yeah. And then I will probably make about $200 or $300. More than that, but okay.
Well, okay.
And this is, I'm like entry level here, so.
No, but I mean like, yeah, but yeah, guest star money, you'd make a guest star rate.
You'd make a rate.
Yeah, like you're not like a star in the show.
Not the star, you'd make the.
Unless you're like big time, you know, but like to get into it, like.
Yeah.
You know, it's a lot of work, but just have too much like i have like add like i
couldn't sit in the trailer like i was just gonna say you have too much going on yeah like you're
doing too much to want to do that kind of shit yeah but it's it's like that's the thing is like
yeah it's it's it's hard work yeah no it's a you're talking to me i'm fucking
listen i like it i like it but there are days when you're like oh fuck this is fucking
it's just a lot like i think people don't know that too people also think it's like
cry me a river they gave you a bunch of money to go say somebody else's words like i get it
it's champagne problems but it is a lot of weird work like it's a weird amount of work for
for small amount of things like you have to do a lot to get a little you have to do a ton to get
a little like to be like to be the student a lot to get a little. You have to do a ton to get a little.
To be the student, that's...
Yeah, so student had to work hard to become...
That dude had to work super hard just to get there.
So it's wild.
But now he's getting mentions on the podcast.
I don't think it's working out for him.
Okay.
I don't fucking...
But look, I worked...
I've been in LA for 13, 14 years,
and I worked tirelessly to get to a point
when I was proud of getting good jobs,
and you work super hard,
and sometimes you work hard just to get to the point
that you just like the project.
It's less sometimes about anything other than being like,
I'm so happy to be a part of it.
Like I did Curb Your Enthusiasm,
and it's going to come out in January.
I did one episode,
and they could have paid me nothing
because I loved it so fuck.
So for me, it was like,
I loved it so fucking much,
I didn't give a shit
because I didn't get paid any money for that.
You're a guest star.
You don't get paid a lot of money for those things.
But like, holy shit,
I didn't care i would have
wrote them a check they could have been like you owe us money like yeah for sure yeah send me a
fucking bill yeah yeah how much you want sell me a bill sign me up do you want more of this you
want me to pour you a little bit more look i'm drinking more than you no i just poured another
one i just poured a new one anastasia isn't a fucking as an alcoholic she's gonna well also
also who cares you're gonna fly on an airplane like this. Yeah,
I have a flight in like two hours,
three hours.
You're good.
You're good.
I'm trying to just chill.
Are you TSA and clear?
Do you do all that shit?
So,
you know,
I'm TSA.
You're TSA.
I'm not clear.
You don't do the clear thing.
I'm,
I love clear.
I haven't done it yet,
but I'm like very into it.
Honestly,
do it.
I did it.
I was so happy.
It's like game changer.
Yeah,
I did.
So fucking look, if it's at game changer yeah i just i'll fucking
look if it's at the airport do you do this is gonna get a little global not global um the
private suite i've okay i've done it and that's cool it's cool it's cool it's cool it's cool
it's very cool it's very cool privileges and perks sometimes are very very
cool it's not gonna lie so from my understanding the private suite is like just this like super
exclusive room that you go and sit in and there's like free candy before your flight free free
foodish free foodish drinkish thing it's yeah i'm there like i said i go it's like it's like
an elevated admiral's lounge or whatever the fuck that is yeah see like my whole thing is like okay it's airport food is so expensive and not that good
no it's usually terrible actually it's usually the worst like i that's the thing like i think like
okay did we go to a lounge like say you have to buy a day pass fifty dollars but like i'll spend
fifty dollars at like the makeshift weird chain wolf gang pucks restaurant
they got a b yeah like like for refrigerated food like heated yeah reheated it's micro it's
everything every time i go to those places i can almost hear the microwave
you can almost like hear it from the restaurant they're not fucking cooking that there's no grill
no and it's like it's for one person, like $40. It's crazy.
Yeah, it's stupid.
So I think like if you go into like one of these like luxury lounges, like if you're hungry and you're like eating a bunch of stuff and drinking, it like pays for itself.
I guess you're right.
I mean, do you drink every time you go to the airport?
Yeah.
Yeah, me too.
That was so good.
Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
I love.
Unless I'm in a rush and i'm like i always like kind of
cut it close a little bit but like if i if i'm there early and i got time like yeah it's like
i always have one i have one on the plane too the best like 15 cocktails you can have oh they're
great they're so expensive though because i love i love having one on the plane and passing out
that's like my i just i just let me have one on the plane and knock out put on
some tunes or put out a netflix show the best thing you do on a plane is fall asleep and wake
up you're there i love it well that's why i mean listen that's why i love taking late night flights
are always so fun because you knock out the shit that you don't want to deal with you know what i
mean yeah you wake up and you're like i'm good i'm there i just that's why i just need to get
really drunk so like i just can get through security.
Yeah, just conk out.
Wake up with a hangover.
Have you ever have you ever been on a plane where someone had to be like had to be helped off the plane?
You ever had that?
Oh my gosh.
Yes.
Yeah.
I've seen I've seen people.
I've seen people get kicked off the planes for being too drunk.
Like I sat next to a guy that had to be helped get off the plane.
He was so fucked up.
Like, you drank the whole fucking flight.
Also, by the way, they served him, Delta.
They served him the whole time.
Like, they kept, he gave them doubles, right?
So, like, every time the dude was like, can I get a double?
Can I get a double?
Can I get a double?
And I was like, that's four or five doubles.
Like, this guy's going to be fucked by the time we get to st louis the best thing though i gotta say is when you're on a flight
it's like a seven or an 8 a.m flight and you're sitting next to someone and they just start
pounding pounding yeah those are the ones where i'm like yo like you okay no or like you need to
talk to me are you starting your vacation are you flying home
like they're going home that's him going home i know that guy i've seen that guy dude i love that
guy yeah that guy's the shit i also don't i don't know if i want to be that guy but i love that that
guy exists like i love like because there's always a thing too like for the person sitting next to
that person on the 7 a.m flight and they're like yeah i'll have like you know like like a whiskey or a bloody
mary and i'm just like good for you yeah fuck yeah go get it man yeah like i i'm not doing that
like i'll do it on the night flight obviously yeah but i can't do it at that early anymore i i've
said this before every time i go to an early flight in an airport no matter where i am in
the country i don't care where it is you can see see this yourself, 4 a.m., 5 a.m. flight, whatever,
without fail,
someone will be drinking at the bar at the airport
without fucking fail.
The restaurants aren't even open yet,
but the bars are always open.
There's always a bar lounge place that's open
and people are drinking.
Also, I don't understand why
an adult would never, ever ask for apple juice
until they get on an airplane.
What is it that when people get on a fucking airplane, you know, I always hear drink orders
on a diet coke.
There's always a dude that's like, can I get an apple juice?
I'm like, why?
You would never.
No one drinks apple juice after a certain age.
I don't even know what.
I can't tell you the last time I had apple juice.
No, I've had that too.
I've had someone next to me order.
And I remember being like.
Apple juice.
What? Really? How old are you?
It's because they saw it on the thing.
Although I do like Martinelli's apple juice.
Shout out to Martinelli's. That is bomb ass apple juice.
I'm just not going to have it
casually in front of other adults.
I'm going to sneak it at my house in the cute little apple glass jars.
The apple...
The apple jar. That shit is dope.
Look, I like it i'm also
it's a rare occurrence the sparkling martinelli's though for my nieces for uh new year's we do that
yeah yeah we'll pop with them and i'll have some of it what so what's your what's your drink of
choice what's your booze of choice what's your poison tequila you're a tequila girl really yeah
i should say i wish i could send you with something you can't board a plane with it but i have people give us i can't well you can have you can have you not heard of
like you know a water bottle oh you're gonna sneak it in well i like your shit dude do it you have to
i don't actually know this is the issue like you would have to be no you know what no no you can't
no you're right yeah you can do a carry-on you You can't carry on any booze. Oh, not even like in a mini thing?
Nah.
You could do one of those like,
I've heard of stories on the internet
of people that do those pocket pouches or whatever.
No, but you know what you could do?
If you're a real alcoholic.
If you're a real alcoholic,
you can get the mini makeup like.
Oh, shit.
You've thought about this?
No, because, okay, so this is the thing is that
I've done a lot, like when you said, I was like, oh, water bottles. Like I've about this. No, because, okay, so this is the thing is that I've done a lot.
Like when you said, I was like, oh, water bottles.
Like I've used, when I was younger and like I had no money,
like we would go out, fill the water bottle with alcohol.
With booze, yeah.
Yeah, we did it.
Yeah, I mean, I feel like everyone did it.
But you can't get on a plane with that water bottle.
You can't get through security with it.
See, I feel like this is, I'm going to date myself.
I'm 32, but like i was i remember when you used to be able to fly and bring all oh yeah
you could bring whatever you wanted yeah yeah yeah you bring i remember people like opening up their
own drinks on airplanes and nobody cared also that was pre-9-11 yeah i was like wait i was like 12
then yeah pre-9-11 you could do literally anything you wanted
people used to do
I mean
smoking was an old joke
but before
people say
oh you used to be able
to smoke on planes
like dude smoke on planes
you used to be able
to fucking just like
get up
walk
they would open
the fucking door
I remember
seeing the pilots
like talking
someone's like
hey what's up
where we going
check it out
you want to look out
the fucking front window
they let you just go fuck around no so what's crazy thanks a lot
terrorists yeah now like well the best used to be able to fuck around what i like too
was that you could like walk someone to the gate yeah you know yeah your loved ones or like someone
could greet you when you're off the plane it's like not anymore no now they have to uh now
they have to wait at the proper point of i get it dude listen i get it we're not ignorant i just
think it is funny how nice it was back then we just didn't you just thought it was no big deal
yeah or just just because fucking assholes fuck it up for the rest of us i mean like anything else
just like the fucking waves i mean just like the world of comedy and like hacklers assholes fuck it up for all the people that are just trying to have a good time yeah we're just
trying to have a fucking good time i'm trying to have some drinks for my i'm gonna get you some
tequila we're gonna find a way okay but have you seen those bladders that you can sneak like a
little plastic bladder you can fill them up yeah that's what i'm thinking those bladders you could
do it i just but if you do get caught. I think technically what it is, you can have under three ounces.
Two and a half, right?
Right, but that's like two shots.
Is it two shots?
Yeah, one ounce pour, I guess.
I mean, that would save me probably like $30.
In here, we pour whiskey.
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All right, let's do it.
Let's fill up those pouches, baby.
Let's do it.
I think we should do it.
We should make your shoes out of booze
and we should fucking do it.
You want to?
We're going to strap you up before you go to LA.
I'm going to get stopped at security.
I can't wait for you to call me.
What are you doing?
I'm like, uh,
I'm just trying to save some money at the bar. They're like, save some to call me. What are you doing? I'm like, uh, I'm just trying to save some money at the bar.
They're like, save some money? Lady,
what are you doing?
I really am just trying to get...
I'm just trying to black out.
That's what I'm trying to do. What's your flavor tequila?
What's your favorite one? What's the one?
Are you a reposado
or an añejo?
I'm like a blanco. A blanco?
Okay, okay.
What brand? What's your go-to? Or an añejo? I'm like a blanco. A blanco? Yeah. Okay, okay. You like a blanco.
But like, you know.
What brand?
What's your go-to?
I like, honestly, I like them all.
Like, I can do like anything.
What's the fancy one?
1942?
Is that?
Oh, Don Hooley.
Yeah, like 1942 is like.
That's the fancy one.
People like that shit, right?
Yeah, but I also feel like there's so many other good ones that like, like, I mean, like
everyone likes Patron.
That's like.
I think Patron's okay.
Yeah, I do too like
my dad likes that stuff amigos is great it is good like you know um yeah i feel like everyone
loves 1940 i like it too but like it's what's the fancy one in the blue the weird blue chalice with
the metal top the metal cock top you know what i'm talking about is that a casanova casanova
is that what it's called yeah that one's good's good. I see all these on the shelves.
My friend drinks it.
My friend Chelsea likes that.
I just don't fuck with tequila that much.
My dad loves...
When my dad gets tanked,
he's always like,
tequila shots,
and he likes picklebacks.
You like picklebacks?
Do you know what that is?
Kind of, yeah.
Where you huck up pickle juice
behind the shot?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, no, I don't like that.
That's what I thought it was.
Yeah, I don't like that shit.
No.
I like real foofy, cute... Okay, margaritas and shit? Like skinny margar yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I don't like that. That's what I thought it was. Yeah, I don't like that shit. No. I like, like, real, like, foofy, like, cute.
Okay, margaritas and shit?
Like, skinny margaritas, spicy, like.
Do you remember the first time you got drunk?
I bet you it was at the beach.
No, it was at my neighbor's garage.
How old were you?
Probably, like, 15.
Yeah.
Were you a bad kid?
No.
You were a goody two-shoes?
I was, like, the best.
You seemed like you'd be a fucking goody two-shoes yeah
i was like a straight-a student i was like like i when i say i got drunk i probably had like two or
three drinks max and i was like i drank one time and then i didn't drink till i was like 24 25
like it's like you were scared of it wow holy shit you were a big pussy yeah yeah yeah what was what
was the turning point of you?
Have you ever tried drugs?
Do you do drugs ever?
No.
Never, never, never? Nothing?
Like, I have smoked stuff.
No, no, no.
No, no, I've never done drugs.
No mushrooms?
No, no, no, no, no.
No, wow.
I'm pretty straight.
Wow, that's cool.
Like, straight as a door.
That's good for you.
Yeah.
Would you ever try anything or no?
I'm not, like, closed off to it.
I'm just like, okay, I'm in my 30s.
Like it hasn't been a part of my life.
Do I need to introduce it at this point?
Like I'm not like judgmental to people who do drugs or experiment or want to.
I just like control.
And you feel like that's a total lack of control?
Yeah, but also I do like to drink.
So it's like I'm content with just having drinks.
But drinking is predictable control.
I always say that.
Like drinking is like,
I can kind of predict the control levels.
Like I know what I'm going to get into.
Like if I take psychedelics,
you know,
I kind of know what I'm getting into,
but kind of not.
Sometimes I'm like, oh shit.
See, I don't know.
That's the thing.
I don't know if that would be for me.
I'm not-
Mushrooms?
No.
I think you'd like it.
Really?
Well, especially you're a nature person, right?
You're a piece, you love nature.
I am, but I like-
You love the outdoors.
I like control though.
I know, but this is kind of the sense of,
like, it's not a lack of control.
It's more like a harmonious balance of control
where like you're still in control
but there are things
that you can't control just like life.
Right.
Just like life.
There are just moments of your mind
that come and go
that you can't control
but it's not overwhelming and scary.
Okay.
It's not like I'm gonna die
and the world is ending
and I'm gonna cut off my penis
like the member of Wu-Tang did.
It's more like,
it's more like,
Like here's this tree.
Yeah, you just feel it a little
bit more. I would say this.
If you ever were going to do it, which you probably won't, but
if you were, to just do
a micro dose amount, like a small amount
and do a very little bit
and wait like six hours and do a little bit again
and see how it alters you a little bit.
Like baby steps.
Yeah.
Because the problem is people do these things and they're like, I'm going to eat an eighth
of mushrooms.
And they eat them and they're like, the world stopped for me.
And I hated every second of it.
You get too.
Well, they got too fucked up.
Yeah.
It's like anything.
That'd be like saying, I've never drank.
And then you're like, okay, fill this glass up with whiskey and drink the whole thing.
Right.
You would be off your head.
Right.
It would suck. It would be in the same regard regard i don't know why people don't drink drugs like
that i don't understand that it's like if you're going to experiment with drugs i always say try
natural ones first that's my go-to you know i i like marijuana i'm a proponent of marijuana
thc and cbd are magical things i like mushrooms i'm not a huge fan of manufactured drugs,
but that's on people
who ever want to do them.
But like,
I say try natural shit first
and do small amounts of it
because it's like this.
It's just,
it's like this in the same sense.
I'm open to learning more about it.
Like,
I'm not,
let's do mushrooms tonight
before you board your flight.
Oh my gosh.
I don't know if that's a good idea.
You end up in Alaska.
You're like, yeah, man.
I feel like changing my whole scope.
I just need to make it through security.
That's it.
You will.
Yeah.
You will.
What airline do you fly?
So I'm usually a United girl.
Yeah, you're a United girl.
You'll be fine.
United's fine.
They don't check anything.
I brought a gun one time when I,
no, I'm kidding.
No.
I mean, like you asked me earlier,
like have I seen people get kicked off planes like i
don't want to be that person no you don't i don't want to be like melting into like the seat i mean
would be tight though i'm not gonna lie i've done i've done i've never done mushrooms on a plane
i've done edibles i should say and gotten on a flight and that was that was wild i don't suggest
it i'm not gonna lie i don't i don't think you should do that i don't i didn't love my experience actually i was i was tricked a buddy of mine put a bunch of stuff in food that we ate
for dinner and then took me to the airport and didn't fucking tell me that's like terrifying i
know it should be illegal right you should go to prison for that for tricking people like i would
be like what the fuck did you do to me that's what i said what the fuck did you do to me? That's what I said. What the fuck did you do to me? And he was like, I put some fuck in.
Is this person still your friend?
Yeah,
he is.
Did he do it again?
No,
but guys,
but guys have a bigger,
guys have a,
I feel like men have a bigger,
um,
uh,
you know,
uh,
forgiveness level for friendship of like,
when you fuck up as a guy,
you're like,
yeah,
it is what it is.
Girls,
girls rip each other to shreds.
And it's like, I'm never talking to that bitch ever again or if like my
guy friend did that to me i'd be like you're fucking weird like but girls don't you feel
like there's girls that have been like girls sever relationships so much faster than men men usually
try to fist fight see and i can get it over with i appreciate it like they'll like if they're mad
they'll just like knock you out yeah let's fuck each other up like but i that's that's the way
it should be it's like let's let's get this out and then let's just move on.
No, girls will like be weird and catty and it's like a slow burn.
Yeah, it's gross.
And you hold on to it forever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like that's the thing.
Girls like they'll do the whole like passive aggressive thing like.
Oh, yeah.
No, it's fine.
No, it's cool.
Yeah, don't worry about it.
Yeah, worry about it, bitch.
That's what they're saying.
Worry about it, bitch. Yeah. Don't worry about it. Yeah, worry about it, bitch. That's what they're saying. Worry about it, bitch.
Don't worry about it, but also worry about it, bitch.
That's like in the back of their fucking head just looping over and over.
No, like everything's fine.
That's funny.
No, no, everything's fine.
Yeah, everything's fine.
Here, do it to me.
If I'm going to get ready, here you go.
Hey, are you cool that Jake came to the party?
Is that?
Yeah, everything's
fine it's so fake and girls are like but fine is like everything's fine yeah fine translates to
like i fucking want to kill you i want to kill you bitch i'm losing my mind yeah like fine is
like not fine fine is not fine fine is not fine fine is not fine
like fine is like it's funny because i say fine all the time you know obviously like everything's
fine it's fine but it's not but you know when you say it and it's weird every girl says it
yeah they go no it's fine it's fine well because you know i think i think uh like do guys ever say
fine no like is that even in like your vocabulary like no yeah i mean i guess you would say once Because, you know, I think... Like, do guys ever say fine? No.
Like, is that even in, like, your vocabulary?
Yeah, I mean, I guess you would say once in a while,
go, yeah, no, it's fine, it's fine.
But no, for the most part, guys would be like, if you're like... Like, how many times have you heard fine?
If they're like, is it okay?
I'd go...
No.
Yeah, it's whatever.
I would say that.
I'd go, yeah, it's whatever.
Whatever is our fine.
Yeah, it's whatever, man.
Don't worry about it.
Like, someone said to me the other day, like like i'm sorry about that thing that we had to do
uh and i was like yeah man oh yeah no out of your hands whatever it is what it is it is what it is
i say that a lot i do that a lot when it's very obvious when i say that what i really mean which
is like what it is what it is is annoying and i'm bummed that we i had to do it yeah that's what i
say i'm like i'm fucking i'm dying if you hear a girl say fine it's fine it's over yeah she's gonna kill you it's fine it's like brewing right right
right yeah it's brewing there's some madness brewing in her fucking brain do you have more
girlfriends and guy friends or guy friends and girlfriends i have a good mix of both but i
typically like always love being friends with guys like yeah is that hard with relationships no no you're due to secure he doesn't give a shit no like that's saying like we're all friends like
you know like my what if you had a friend before you met him how does that work out
better like it's like here's a guy i've been friends with yeah like most of my friends though
i've been friends with for like 10 15 no new friends no new friends drake no new friends like you're
a new friend yeah but you're chill like you know but also also the distance like we don't see each
other enough for it to be like uh imposing or threatening because i always feel like say you
make a new friend right like i just made a new friend i just recently made a new girlfriend
and like all the factors have to come into play
right for it to be okay yes it's so funny even because there's no intention right there's there's
so far from no intention because it's such a platonic like we get along as homies
and it's obvious on both of our behalves because of our also our relationship situations but there is always a moment for either party of the
significant others to be jealous it will always exist to go you guys are hanging out late it's
like you can't get rid of those things like that will always yeah it's natural it'll always fucking
exist but but but like when you see friends that are new friends, the frequency matters, right?
So the more frequent, the harder it is.
Yeah, I think it's like frequency, context, like, you know.
All of it matters.
Like my friends that are guys, like I've known for the most part, like for so long that it's like a brother.
Sure, sure.
Have you ever had a guy you thought was a friend but turned out that he was just deeply deeply in love with you you know i feel like this happens to every girl yeah i've like
i've had well no but those guys aren't my friends anymore like i've had yeah no not after that day
yeah like i've had guys who are like my friend they try to play the friend card but i've always
like called them out really easily oh you dump on dump on them real hard. Like, I'm like, are you like,
because again,
You trying to fuck Mike?
No, like I'll be like,
like, because that's
the least attractive thing
that a guy,
like a guy who beats around the bush
or who's like not direct.
Yeah.
Just give it to me straight, baby.
Like, yeah.
Like if you're trying to date me,
like don't play the friend card
because that's how you get friend zoned.
That's how you get friend zoned. Yeah. Like like guys like i have so many guy friends to do this with
girls they're like waiting for the day that like she breaks up with her boyfriend that she calls
him a thousand times stupid i tell these guys that i'm friends with them it's like what are you doing
like you you realize you're on the friend ladder yeah so gross just go get somebody else dude you
dingus i don't know like if a girl's telling you that's saying if you have a friend if you're on the friend ladder. Yeah, so gross. Just go get somebody else, dude, you dingus.
I don't understand that.
No, like if a girl's telling you, that's the thing.
If you have a friend, if you're a guy and you have a girl that you're friends with
and she's telling you about other dudes.
It's over, baby.
It's never happening.
Wipe the hands clean because you ain't getting that pedussy, bitch.
It's over.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't understand that.
You have to have clear cut lines.
To guys that try to like, I have a couple of, ah, this is bad.
I know a couple of dudes that, like, their approach is to do that.
Is to, like, be buddies, you know, like, buddy, buddy, buddy their way into a relationship.
And then be there for them when they're, when the girls are, like.
Like, crying on their shoulders.
Yeah, be their bitch.
Like, be, like, the guy that the girl calls when, like, they got their boyfriend. does it work out for them uh once in a while honestly like i feel like that'd be like it does
work listen one out of 20 when a one girl when when certain girls are very vulnerable they swoop
in yeah well they don't swoop in as much as they're like they're like planted the seed and
they're like we're just waiting you know and when the girl is like you it's like you're always like
you're always so good to me it's like such an easy time to be like i know you give me a blow job you know it's like
for them it's like the it's like they're just the easy way into the thing but i do know i do know
dudes that do that they do it because i think they think it's the way to be a nice guy it's like well
i dig her but like also like you know i want to be be friends. It's like, nah, it's so shady.
It's just like a cheap way of saying something.
Yeah, I think it's like, I would never like a guy like that.
Just tell her.
Just go, look, I'm into you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When you met your man, was he really straightforward?
Oh, yeah.
He was like, and that's why I was like.
Was it internet shit or real life shit?
Yeah, internet.
Internet shit, right?
Yeah.
Which one?
Raya?
No, J-Swipe. J-Swipe! Oh, shit. That's dope. Swipe right. real life shit we yeah internet internet shit right yeah which one raya no j swipe j swipe
oh shit that's dope swipe right the jewish uh dating app what's the other one there's isn't
there another one there's like j date j date yeah how many jewish dating apps were you on
just that one just j swipe yeah j date didn't make the cut for you is j date like the e harmony
yeah i mean that's like the match.com j date is the match for jews i was talking to someone about match.com who met
their partner and i'm sure people fuck at me i think match.com is probably like really good
look even though like i don't think we know anyone who's on match.com but like
no categorically it works for people that need it yeah right i mean just like online dating is
great i'm a big supporter.
You're a big proponent.
Two of my closest friends are getting married because of it,
and I will be there at their wedding because they're wonderful.
Are you going to come to my wedding?
Invite me to your fucking wedding.
I'll come to your fucking wedding.
I'll send you an invite.
I'm going to come rage at your fucking wedding, by the way.
And I'm making a best man and a bridesmaid speech.
I'm standing up for both.
I'm going to have a half dress and half suit on, on and i'm gonna lose my mind and have a good time i so like i said i go to parties for food and alcohol there's gonna be good food and alcohol
love that by the way the only reason for me to go to a wedding at this stage of my life because
i've been to too many of them is if i know that it's going to be a fun party because if i if it's
going to be garbage and if i think they're like it's not going to be worth it i going to be a fun party. Because if it's going to be garbage, and if I think it's not going to be worth it,
I hate to tell you guys,
I'm not going.
Don't waste your time.
I'm not going.
I'm not going to Mississippi.
Someone's like,
it's where her aunt left us a piece of land.
I'm not fucking flying down there
to give you a blender.
I don't go unless it's going to be fucking fun.
Unless I know the families are cool, the party is right.
Like, you got to let it rock, dude.
Yeah.
Like, stiff weddings fucking suck.
And I've been to too many of them where you're like, this isn't fun, dude.
You know what my biggest pet peeve at a wedding is?
What is it?
No, like, open bar.
Yeah.
Beer and wine only.
Dude.
Like, I...
Get the fuck out of here this is my thing cut the food
cut the food just give me the fucking booze props props cut the fucking food i never understood that
it's like how are you gonna skimp on that dude don't skimp on that that's what people want to do
let them party i've been to some weddings beer and wine only and i'm like major bummer dog major i say that out loud when i get and then they have like wine only, and I'm like. Major bummer, dog. Major. I say that out loud when I get to the bar.
And then they have like these crazy flowers, and I'm like.
Yeah, they spent 40 grand on fucking flowers and a trellis.
I'm like, no one can eat, no one can drink the flowers or eat the flowers.
Yeah.
It's like, what is the purpose?
But if they could, that would be tight.
Then it'd be good.
Speaking of which, I got locked up down in Costa Rica.
You did?
Yeah.
Big surf. Big surf country. Haco Beach. You did? Yeah. Big surf.
Big surf country.
Haco Beach.
I love Haco, but you know what Haco's known for?
Huh?
Murder?
No.
I have no idea.
What?
Prostitution is legal.
Oh, I know.
Well, that's where we met.
She was a hooker on Haco Beach, and that's how we linked up.
That's how I met her.
That's how I met my wife.
She was a prostitute.
Is it really?
Is it a big prostitute place?
Yeah, it's legal.
Oh, I didn't know. Manuel Antonio is where we were i i love hawko yeah beautiful beautiful i love costa rica it's just there like uh i was there in april for people who don't know
um it is the pura vida pura vida it was it's the, yeah, it's the western side of Costa Rica.
It is,
it is,
to me,
one of the most
stunningly gorgeous places.
I've been to a lot of spots.
Something about Costa Rica
is fucking unreal.
Yeah.
And Jaco Beach is known
because it's some of the most
dangerous wave breaks, right?
Isn't that what they say?
Right, yeah.
Great surfing,
dangerous waves.
Great, dangerous, great,
but in a good way.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, surfers love that shit. Pelagroso. right i'm saying like i'm italian peligroso yeah right
what the fuck no um yeah that's right jaco beach manuel antonio and there was one more that's
right around the way that's fucking unreal why i went to um where we went recently was uh santa
theresa yes yes yes yes yes which is like the cool like yeah yeah
that's where like tom brady and giselle go yeah that's where tom goes yeah that's where the hip
cats go tom and jizz yeah i call them tom and jizz because i know them really well that's like when
we were in italy uh the the italians loved that lebron james kept kept, LeBron James spends his, they spend part of their summer
in the island of Capri, you know, Capri, Capri, and all of the locals, oh, it's awesome, right,
and all the locals are like, I didn't know this, all the locals were like, you know LeBron James,
and I'm like, yeah, and he's like, he, LeB james goes on a boat as a boat and lebron james
will be there with friends and family lebron james on their boat i'm like yeah no i know yeah that's
cool and they want to let you know so bad that lebron james goes there that that's all the story
that's it for them you're like no that's okay that's cool and you're like what is he does he
come here and they're like no no no he's there lebron james and you're like all right right on like that's it i
think they just they want to let you know that the most famous guy they know comes to this place
you're like that's cool that's awesome good people good food yeah you're like you know i'll just call
him yeah i'll just ring him up yeah like i'll ring up lebron james lebron the way he said it
always made lebron james italians are great though they're the coolest fucking people man they they are the
dopest low-key fucking people on earth they don't give any there's zero fucks to give so i've noticed
when i went to capri i went to like a mothley coast i went all around i see people just like
chilling on rocks oh yeah they like They like melt. They like tan.
Oh yeah.
Like something with like them,
their whole like vibe and effect.
Like they're just like,
like don't give a fuck.
No,
no,
no.
There is no,
well,
also their schedules are different.
I should show,
I should,
if I could,
I would have to search through my photos to show you,
but I don't want to give away the location,
but I've talked about it before, but my, my favorite to show you, but, um, I don't want to give away the location, but I've talked about it before, but, uh, my, my favorite location is a, is a all rock beach, uh, called
Fido beach. And, um, people just chilling on rocks all day long and they jump off of these huge
fucking boulders into the ocean. And these like young kids to old men, they do front flips and
dive into the ocean and they've got to be 30 40 feet up i mean
it's fucking unreal and when you first see it you're like oh this is where i could die this
is where you're like this is it kill me now this would be the happiest fucking end all moment of
my life like sure i'll die for sure on this beach and the tide pools were so heavy that i thought if
i drowned here i'd be chill with it yeah Yeah. Like I was like, fuck it.
It kind of sounds like romantic.
It was.
It was hot.
I rented a scooter.
I had my shirt open.
Italians are just so cool.
They're way cooler than us, man.
Because they're just like, yeah, like, you know.
They'll figure it out.
They have the attitude of we'll figure it out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who's the least cool country?
Come on.
This is mean, but we know. Mean. I know. Who's the least cool country? Come on. This is mean, but we know.
Mean.
I know.
I see.
What's the least cool country?
I don't know.
Germany.
You got to just say Germany.
I haven't been to Germany.
They're not cool.
There's nobody's cool in Germany.
I have like a thousand fans in Germany that are like,
Das ist nicht gut.
Santino.
No.
Germany as a country is beautiful,
but the people are just stiff.
They're intense, right?
They're stiff, intense humans, dude.
It's like the youthful generation in any country is going to be fun.
And I like Germany, okay?
Fucking relaxed Germany.
But I feel like there's like good parties in Germany.
There's good parties everywhere.
It's just the culture is very stiff.
It's very serious.
It's not serious as much as it is like,
it's just kind of like,
there's no rhythm.
See, I haven't been, so I don't know.
No, but do you know what I mean by like,
there's no rhythm.
I've only really traveled to like,
countries that have coastal towns
or like on the coast.
So like everywhere.
Surf, yeah, you on the coast. Surf.
Surf are really pretty places.
Italy's probably... I didn't surf in Italy.
Italy's dope for surfing, I've heard.
I've heard they have surfing.
They do have surfing.
They have an Italian Olympic team.
Yeah, I've heard it's beautiful down there, right?
South of Spain, south of France.
Oh, those are killer.
That's top shit.
Insane. what's the
worst place to surf i mean i would say for me yeah anywhere that's obscenely cold cold surfing
is shit yeah like would you ever do one of those uh where they take you out on a fucking wave runner
and they let you go on a rope you know where, where they put you way up? Yeah, yeah, toe surfing. I've done that. Have you done that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What?
What's it called?
Like toe surfing. Toe surfing, right.
They tow you, yeah.
Yeah.
Whoa, see,
that blows my fucking mind.
You're way out there.
Doesn't that scare you a little bit?
Yeah, oh yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right, because like when you-
I'm like a realist.
Like I realize like,
and unfortunately,
like I've had friends pass away
surfing.
Not cool, not cool.
Not chill.
No, not,
not chock a dog. No. Not chill at all. No, not chill no not not shock a dog not chill at all not chill very sad zero
chill but like you know like i am a realist of like you know you put your life out there if you
want to do that and you take the risks and you feel that way when you go out there and do that
you're like fuck it if i die when i've done well when i've done big wave stuff yes but i'm very
me myself personally, very calculated.
And I know the limits.
Yeah, yeah.
You don't push it.
Like, if I have pushed it, it's because I have, like, a safety person.
I do it in a calculated way where I've seen some people get caught up and they just push, push, push.
And it's like, you're going to die, man.
Yeah, like, I mean, you.
What's the biggest wave you've ever hit?
I would say the biggest wave I've ever surfed was probably like 20, 25 feet.
Okay.
And that for, even if people know nothing about surfing.
Yeah.
That's insane.
For the average Yoshimo, to put it in perspective, the average little baby wave you might catch if you came to California,
yeah, a foot and a half.
Yeah.
Maybe two feet, right?
Mm-hmm.
People have no idea.
When they say that, they're like,
I think scope is so hard with things like that.
It is because also like-
Like a 10-foot wave is a fucking huge wave.
When I'm saying 20-foot foot wave too that could be like a
20 foot back of the wave like sir whatever and fucking huge to me it's yes two basketball hoops
that's what i saw in my brain i like when people ask me size of waves like i like to point out like
the size of the roof right size of like the door the size of like the two-story building because it's hard to tell
even like when i see 20 feet scale is hard well the water's hard you can't really tell right it's
kind of the same kind of thing like when i go snowboarding when you see videos of certain guys
ripping ridiculously like the vertical line is so insane and on video you're like whatever yeah
yeah and then you see the vertical measurement and you're like oh
shit when you're there's they wrote a fucking wall down straight fucking down i mean it's it's
creepy to me that people have the you have the mental stability to do that thing it's just
nuts it's nuts i would panic and drown and die yeah i would drown and die i mean a lot of it's
mental though i know that's what i'm saying i drown and die. I'd die. I would get tumbled by the wave.
My wiener would get stuck in my butt.
My board would crack me in the fucking head.
I would die.
You'd have a panic attack.
I'd have a panic attack.
I'd be wiener butt, head crack, board guy, panic attack, dead guy.
And that's how they'd pull me out with my penis in my butt,
a surfboard through my fucking head.
But that's how I want to go out.
I mean, there or Italy.
There or Italy.
It's either like that or in Italy.
I think I'm going to choose Italy.
If you're going to go out, go out big.
Go out like a little story.
Yeah, yeah.
But I don't want to go out in a way that I'm like, I say go big.
Like, I get it, go big.
But also like.
Don't go that big.
Don't go too big.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't be a fucking.
That's where I'm at now.
Like, I did a lot of big wave stuff,
and I've, like, done things that I'm like,
I'm safe.
My knees are intact.
My arms, my shoulders are good.
Like, do I need to go a little more to get better?
I'm like, I'm happy with what I've done.
Yeah, you don't want to fucking...
You don't want to, like...
Because, you know, like, again,
like, when you've had friends get really seriously injured
or hurt or pass away, it makes you start to think, okay, this is real.
Is a beach burial a thing?
Do you guys do like a beach ceremony when somebody dies surfing?
Yeah.
Or like, you know, even if they don't die in the water, but like, yeah, you paddle out and you do the circle.
Yeah, I've seen it before.
Yeah, it's a really beautiful thing.
Yeah, I've seen it before.
Yeah, it's a really beautiful thing.
And it's kind of like a communal saying goodnight type of thing.
And do you do anything in the water for them? Some people pour their ashes or they throw the leis or flowers or something.
That's very Hawaiian, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I don't want people to...
When I die, just burn my ashes and spread me on fucking wilshire
you know put me at a main thoroughfare in la just throw me on sunset no i i don't want to be i don't
want to be like just don't make a big deal that's my thing don't make a big stink not i want to
party yeah rage yeah have some fucking fun yeah that's you know that's what the irish do that's
what my people do yeah Yeah. We party.
We throw huge, huge parties.
And you're supposed to go to a bar afterwards.
You're supposed to go to a pub.
See, I like that, though.
Yeah, because why not?
Drink it away.
You want people to remember you for, like, the good thing.
You don't want a crying thing.
Well, see, I've talked about this.
Fucking, I love that in the Jewish religion, Jews don't look at the bodies after they're gone, right?
Yes.
Well, Catholics, the way I was raised, you fucking do, we do like open caskets if they're
viewable.
I see, I've never been.
Oh my God, it's crazy shit.
It makes no sense.
I've never seen a dead body.
You've never seen a dead body?
And I don't want to.
You want to see one?
I have one under the house right now.
We killed a guy like last week.
No, I think it's so fucked up. Like, why do I, seeing a dead body is such a strange. I want to see one? I have one under the house right now. We killed a guy like last week. No, I think it's so fucked up.
Like, why do I...
Seeing a dead body is such a strange...
You want to remember the person...
Yeah.
Dope, yeah.
I love that.
All my Jewish friends are like,
wow, that's great.
And when they told me about that,
I was like, oh, shit, man.
Yeah, you don't do that.
That's the smartest thing in the world.
Why would I look at a body
after it's gone?
I want to just remember them
in the good shit.
I don't want to be like,
look at this dead guy.
You want to see the guy
that you love so much?
Goodbye.
I could say goodbye in my head. Yeah, yeah. You don't want to be like look at this dead guy look yeah you want you want to see the guy that you love so much goodbye i could say goodbye in my head yeah you don't like hey i'm talking to you you're dead hey bye no fuck that i don't want to do that so when i die
just uh if you when you die and think if they cremate you you want to be cremated yeah yeah
where where do you want them sprinkled in the the ocean. Sprinkle on the ocean? Yeah. I think...
Not like on a cake.
No, no.
To be sprinkled.
I was like...
Do mine on a...
Sprinkle half of my ashes outside of a Taco Bell on Beverly.
You know what's crazy in LA?
There's not a lot of drive-thrus.
We don't do that shit.
Well, that's not true.
Depends on what part of LA you're in, right?
Beverly Hills, it's illegal to have fast food restaurants.
Do you know that?
I did not know that.
In the city of Beverly Hills, you can't have a drive-thru.
So when I say LA, I'm being like west side LA.
Okay, west LA.
No, there's not a lot of drive-thrus.
We don't have a ton of...
We have, I say relative to other major metros.
LA, by the way, LA, this is one thing.
It is so big.
Yes, we're huge.
It's like...
We're five New Yorks.
It's, yeah, it's like...
Five or six New Yorks, yeah.
I, like,
every time I come to LA,
it's like,
it's like every neighborhood
is its own city.
Yeah, it's endless.
It takes an hour and a half
from point to point.
It's endless.
Like, you get downtown
to Santa Monica,
it's like,
LA is, like, such a crazy thing. It's gross. It's annoying. We're a state. It's a. It takes an hour and a half from point to point. It's endless. Like, you go downtown to Santa Monica. It's like, LA is, like, such a crazy thing.
It's gross.
It's annoying.
We're a state.
It's a state.
Yeah.
LA should be a state.
So, when I'm usually in LA, I'm, like, more on the west side.
I know.
You're a west side person.
Yeah.
I'm, like, Santa Monica, Malibu, like, Beverly Hills, like, that zone.
But I've, like, been out, and I'm, like, oh, I want to get, like, a fast food.
There's, like, nothing. What get a fast food. There's nothing.
What's your fast food?
What's your go-to?
Oh, I love Del Taco.
You do?
You love Del Taco, huh?
Of all the good Mexican food here, you love Del Taco?
Well, no, not of all the good food, but late night, El Pollo Loco.
Okay.
I like Taco Bell, too.
I just don't.
Well, no, I'm just saying if I'm going to do late night food, I do like McDonald's or something.
Yeah, McDonald's.
Because for Mexican food, I'll late night a truck.
Like the late night trucks, I'll do late night food trucks.
Oh, I love street food.
Go to it.
Go.
I like.
Hey, right down here on the gas station, I'll show you where to go.
This motherfucker makes bomb ass tacos.
I just think like if I'm going to get late night food because Mexican is so convenient
for me. The Mexican food in LA is. That's ridiculous. think like if I'm going to get late night food because Mexican is so convenient for me.
The Mexican food in LA is.
That's ridiculous.
That's what I'm saying.
So I won't do
fast food Mexican
because we live here.
I'll do fast food McDonald's
and my McDonald's order
is always the same.
I'm getting myself
a Big Mac
because I fucks
with the Big Mac
after all these years.
Large ass fry.
Coke because it's
the perfect amount
of sugar and fizz
and I'm going to get
myself some nuggets. Don't hate. They're the best. Nug and fizz and I'm going to get myself some nuggets
don't hate
they're the best
nuggets are great
I fuck with the nuggets
you know what
I think the best thing
at McDonald's is
what
coffee
really
iced coffee
I don't fuck with their coffee
I never had it
I never had it
that's like
I've never had McDonald's
you like the egg McMuffin
yeah
but when I get the egg McMuffin
I get an OJ.
I always get an OJ, but then I get a coffee either at my house.
The sugar-free, like vanilla, sugar-free.
Shout out McDonald's.
Shout out McDonald's.
Where's our free shit?
Where's our gift cards?
Give us some shit, McDonald's.
Yeah, but like the ice.
Yeah, but you like the iced coffee?
Iced coffee's phenomenal.
All right, I'm going to go get one.
Tomorrow I'm going to go get one, and if it's bad, I'm going to blame it on you.
Okay. Good? I'm calling you tomorrow. Yeah. I'm going to be like, this shit is phenomenal. Alright, I'm going to go get one. Tomorrow I'm going to go get one and if it's bad I'm going to blame it on you. Okay. Good?
I'm calling you tomorrow. Yeah.
I'm going to be like, this shit is garbage.
If it's bad, I'm fucking hollering at you.
You don't care either way?
No, I don't care but I also know it's good.
What's your breakfast order? Sausage egg McMuffin? I like the egg McMuffin, yeah.
With sausage or no? Yeah, I like the sausage.
Yeah, I fuck with the sausage. I fuck with it for sure.
I do the whole shebang. I'm like... The McGriddle isgriddle is legit i'm not gonna lie i've had it once or twice and
so there's a time where i like avoided mcdonald's for a while like i was like okay i'm just like
not doing this try to be a puritan yeah yeah fuck that and i like had it again and once you have it
again it's like you're hooked it's over it's crack it's crack it's it's it's fucking you know what i
love to crack huh starbucks yeah everybody likes starbucks dude they're on every fucking corner like at some
point when people were like i don't drink that stuff i was like you don't because it's everywhere
it's the same way people like i don't i don't have we know someone's like i don't drink soda
and you're like sure i mean you don't but literally everybody else does i'll tell you so i
fuck i don't give a fuck i will have a coke Coke. Yeah, Coke is great. Suck my ass. I'm American. I'm drinking a fucking Coke.
Everyone's quitting soda.
All my friends are quitting booze.
I'm having a Coke.
I'm drinking some alcohol.
No fun.
Leave me the fuck alone.
I want McDonald's right now.
I want McDonald's right now.
Let's go get fucking McDonald's.
Let's Postmates.
Let's Postmates McDonald's.
Shout out Postmates.
Postmates and McDonald's.
Give us gift cards, you guys.
What the fuck?
What's your perfect?
Tell me this.
Give me your last and final this uh give me your last
and final meal what's your last meal oh this is a good one this is hard right not really no you
already know what it is i already know all right give it to me what's your last meal so besides my
two favorite you're gonna die by the way this is like you're on death row this is all you get
yes okay do it asian noodles okay you, you want noodles. I want noodles.
Do you know what kind of noodles are we talking?
Like pad thai.
Pad thai, yum.
Chicken, spicy.
Chicken, spicy, hot.
Okay.
What about for dessert?
You getting a dessert or no?
Nah.
Nah, fuck it.
Give me the nudes.
Just nudes.
Give me them nudes.
Okay, I feel it.
I feel it.
My last meal would be, well, I'm going to go down the list.
First of all, I'd have an appetizer.
I'd have some ceviche.
I'd have some ceviche.
Wow, really?
Yeah, I want some ceviche, just to freshen my palate.
You know what I mean?
And give me an Arnold Palmer, but give me a John Daly,
which is Arnold Palmer with vodka to start it off.
Then for the main course, I want a bone-in ribeye.
Wow.
Medium rare. Where's your steak restaurant though uh but this steak i want i want like premium steak like you want a private chef private chef yeah
because i can't i'm not going to take this from like morton's or the palm or some shit you know
what i mean like i want something i want off i want cut from the fucking cow no i want to feel
it you know what i mean i want to know it came off the cow. So you want like a celebrity
exclusive shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like APL or one of those motherfuckers.
You know what I mean? Like exclusive, like
he's got the secret shit. Aged for
345 days so it smells like a fart.
You know what I mean? Perfect ass fucking
medium rare to rare.
Not black and blue. I'm not like that.
And then I want
I want a tub of garlic mashed potatoes
and i'll have a fucking old-fashioned with that and then for dessert i'm gonna have a piece of
tiramisu the size of this fucking room and a massive massive uh espresso i want a big espresso
like a triple espresso with the tiramisu i like that that you do the espresso. I love espresso with it
because you're going to poop when you get home
and you're going to wake up a little bit
and you're ready to party.
That's my favorite part about espresso.
After a meal, clear me out, wake me up.
Let's go.
Flush me out and let's fucking rage.
Like I'm ready.
I'm ready to rock, dude.
We used to do that.
I ate a big lunch today
and I was like so freaking tired.
I was like...
Espresso, baby.
Wake it up.
Poop it out. Wake it up. We used to do that that in college when we pre-partied we would do uh i don't remember the
name of it but we would do like there's a there's like a drink combo of like uh it's like liquor
and a little bit of coffee and then you chew a coffee bean and it was like you would get drunk
poop and then leave the house and be like let's's rage. And you'd be able to party for hours.
I'm ready to go.
Yeah, dude, I loved it.
I loved it.
I didn't even think that advanced into my final meal, but I just like noodles.
You love noodles.
You're a noodle girl.
That's fine.
You love what you love.
I fucks with noodles too.
I just want a big old fat steak to take me out.
I appreciate you coming tonight. I know you got to take me out. I appreciate you coming tonight.
I know you got to catch a flight.
I know you got to go-go.
At some point, we got to get you on an aeroplane.
I do.
I want all my fans to go see the incomparable, unbelievably talented Anastasia Ashley online.
We'll link all the stuff in the description.
Check out her Instagram.
You're always up to fucking fun shit. You're traveling. You're doing promo link all the stuff in the description check out her instagram you're always up to fucking fun shit you're traveling you're doing promo shoots all the time
you're always doing something i see you constantly moving around the country yeah so people can just
follow you on instagram and see what the fuck you're up to see what kind of badass waves you're
surfing if i'm not surfing i'm somewhere good you see you're doing somewhere that's that's that's
your catchphrase if i'm not surfing i'm trying to have fun yeah you're trying to have fun you're doing somewhere that's your catchphrase if I'm not surfing I'm trying to have fun yeah you're trying to have fun
you're having fucking fun
yeah
you're gonna have a good flight
I'll tell you
endless summer
endless fucking summer
yeah
go check her out
on the Gramola
I'll link all that shit
go to andrewsantino.com
and look up all my fucking dates
I've got some dates
I know I'm still shooting
so I'm not on the road
back until November
but I love you and I appreciate you thank, so I'm not on the road back until November. But I love you, and I appreciate you.
Thank you so much for listening.
Kiss, kiss.
I want you to say one phrase when I get up and turn off the camera.
Say one phrase to take us out.
Think about it.
One phrase.
Hold on.
Hold it.
Okay, go ahead and say it now.
What did you say?
I didn't say anything.
Am I supposed to say MSR?
MSR.
MSR.
In here, we pour whiskey.
Whiskey.
Whiskey.
Whiskey.
Whiskey.
You are that creature in the ginger beard.
Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Gingers are beautiful.
You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the whore.
Gingers are hell no.
This whiskey is excellent.
Ginger.
I like gingers.