Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Andrew Schulz 3.0

Episode Date: December 25, 2020

Santino sits down with Andrew Schulz to talk about Dave Chappelle’s plea, how much he hates Sacha Baron Cohen’s antics and the moves it took to climb into a field of his own with an amazing team of comics and writers around him to make his new show “Schulz Saves America” on NETFLIX now! ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! HEADSPACE - You deserve to feel happier today. Meditation made simple. https://www.headspace.com/whiskey For a FREE ONE MONTH TRIAL!!! DHM DETOX - The vitamins to help you feel better after a night of drinks https://nodayswasted.co/whiskey use promo code WHISKEY for 20% OFF ROMAN - erectile disfunction is not a that big of a deal, get the pump back in your red rocket Go to https://www.getroman.com/whiskey To get $15 Off your first order with FREE SHIPPING and a FREE CONSULTATION Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips EDITING AND PRODUCTION DESIGN BY THE AMAZING WHISKEY GINGER TEAM JENNA SUNDE https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday/ JOE FARIA https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria Y&S https://www.instagram.com/youngandsick/ Intro Music by Rocom: https://www.youtube.com/user/RocomTelevision Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Keep supporting the Whisk Ginge crew. Enough rambling from me. Let's go to the episode. In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You're that creature in the ginger field. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginges are fugitive. You owe me $5 for the whiskey, $75 for the horse. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger.

My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it. Once again, today, it's the return of Andrew Schultz. Hello, sir. Cheers, baby. Cheers to you. My bad, my bad. No, you're good no you're good you're good pop i like that look at that product code too come on bro he looks fancy now for people that don't know um you're in the dark schultz is a incredible comedian a good friend and now he's a uh a top dog on netflix papa

you're let's go you were number one dude we were trending number one we didn't do number one like globally let's just say it it was number one we were number one i don't know how i like uh i got enough call this is how i gauge it if i get calls from home and emails from people saying that they see it and they know about it and they're not connected to the comedy verse yeah yeah they say they like you know, when friends are like, I like stand up. But then when they see stuff like that, I think that's a huge,

it's a big W for the community. Yeah. You know? Also, it's nice, it's nice, I think this is why we get along,

you and I, is that like, we have friends outside of comedy. Well, that's what most of my friends are outside of comedy. Yeah, like we're

regular people. Humans, yeah. That have chosen comedy as the thing we love that we want to do sure right it's not like like there are some folks that come in that like are they comics they just don't have any friends it's like if you go to the open mic you have to hang out with people right you're like do you not have anything else going on yeah no i like i want to get home to hang out with my old bag like i want to do there's stuff i got i want to get home to hang out with my old bag. There's stuff I want to do.

So isn't it refreshing? I think that's why we connected so quickly. There's like Chrissy D. All of a sudden, their crew is like, there's people. We had this whole community of friends that are just like knuckleheads. If you think comics are weird, you have to meet our friend friends. No, way weirder. Way weirder.

I got a phone call the other day from a friend who's on some shit, just time it's just so funny because they keep they remind you of who you really are yes i start losing myself if i'm not around them yeah it gets crazy it gets a little you get you get a little distant when you uh when you don't connect with these people more often isn't that crazy yeah because you get sucked into this vortex of shit and we have it way worse than you do i mean la it just it's just so easy to get stuck in the thing. It's easy to not socialize at all out here. You can very comfortably sit. You have this lovely home. You have this backyard.

It's like life is good. I can just ease. And in New York, because everybody kind of walks around, I'm going to get cursed at or something in a lovable way where it's just like oh Yeah, yeah, I'm here like that's what I knew That's what this guy can't take credit of it But like this guy said that's why I knew the city was coming back is he was crossing the street And the light turned green like right before he finished crossing the street

Yeah And a taxi cab goes get the fuck out of the street and it's like one of the first days of a perfect quarantine And he didn't even curse if he just smiles like we're back goes get the fuck out of the street and it's like one of the first days after quarantine and he didn't even curse him he just smiled he's like we're back we're back baby dude we still are in the weird slumber you know la is in the creepy slumber it's weird isn't it because like and everybody's gone it feels like it feels like no one no one's here and if they are here they're they're itching to get the fuck out of here listen i'm gonna hold the fort down alone yeah like leave don't leave i don't care like it doesn't matter but like what's happening with like shutting everything down like no dining and stuff

like that now it's happening in new york too i'm not even i don't care about like getting political in that regard it cripples a city yeah yeah it's like yeah it's it's murdered well what do you do i mean i'll get political with it it makes me mad i just went for a run today it's 74 degrees outside did you get eyes because you weren't wearing a mad. I just went for a run today. It's 74 degrees outside. Did you get eyes because you weren't wearing a mask? No, no, no, no. Because I run in my neighborhood. So it's like I'm nowhere near people. Yeah.

I'm nowhere. Like, I'm not a scientist, but there's no fucking way I'm giving someone anything or getting anything when I'm running 15 feet away from you outside. Yeah. I don't buy it. You're good. Yes. I mean, like that.

There's no there's no data for that. So I'm good with that. But I'm just saying i'm running outside in this beautiful weather and i'm thinking of all places that deserve to stay open to try to help the economy yeah the biggest place that's crumbling yeah let outside tables let people eat outside at maximum distance right then just go okay we can only have six tables outside 12 feet apart fine like let that exist you have to have something low-key i mean the obviously these government officials like your stupid idiot uh governor and shit gavin newsom as well yeah pathetic but like low-key i respect the fuck out of the restaurant business because they've been doing everything possible yeah to like make it in this time like

literally whatever's been thrown at them like all right fine we'll start building structures outside we got the heating lamps like they're doing everything they can to stay open and then they keep cutting their balls off yeah and it drives me crazy because i know people who don't hustle like i know there are certain people who just like like i'll just wait and when the pandemic's over i'll get back into it and like i'm just like whatever you don't want it like i'll sky you're you're not're not even in the game anymore like you know what i'm saying you lose you lose but then when i see like these restaurants they're really trying yeah like they're serving food in new york this is not 74 degrees we're talking about 34 degrees yeah it's cool right and then

they've got these fucking like volley like inside a volleyball like these like plastic coverings i don't know if you've ever seen this yeah no i saw online and they've got little heat lamps everywhere everywhere yeah and people are supporting we don't really if you've ever seen this. Yeah, no, I saw online. And they've got little heat lamps everywhere. Everywhere. And people are supporting. We don't really want to sit out there. We'll take the food and go home. But we're like, I like this restaurant.

I'm going to help you out. But they need it. The fact that they've shown all this ingenuity and change and then the city hasn't is really crazy to me. The city can't do that. But all these restaurants have been like,

hey, well, we'll bust our balls. Dude, up here, you know, near my house, they put out these flyers saying what they were going to do is take away all the parking spots on the south side of the street so they could so the restaurants could like impede the street like in new york and everybody was like yep do it by all means do it we'll figure it fine we'll figure it out yeah and and guess what they did it and now they made them rip them right back out. So they put construction. I mean, literally, like panels.

They built like decks. They went to Home Depot. They were like, Jose, get everybody. They were drilling all the decks. They built them, and literally two, three weeks later, they had to take them all out. We support this restaurant in the neighborhood. It's a mom and pop Italian joint joint at prosecco and we love these people and they're so nice and they're always dope and of course sure enough the dude's like yeah we

i don't know if we're gonna be able to do it again and i was like what do you mean he's like i don't know man i don't know if we're gonna be able to do this thing again because they did it twice you know they shut them down open them up shut them down open them up and then they shut down the sidewalk they got a grant from the city to shut down the whole sidewalk so they could put tables on them and then the city was like, no more. So there's no, there's, what do you want? It doesn't make sense. I don't know what you want to, I've said this multiple times.

2020 was bad. 2021 going to be worse. You think? Oh, wait, dude, wait. Because so many small businesses, the collapse, you'll see the aftermath, right? Like, like any kind of tragedy that happens in this country. Yeah. like like any kind of tragedy that happens in this country yeah when it happens it's it's remarkably sad but what happens afterward is is really really awful because you see the domino

effect of what that affected how many people lost their job because the restaurant closed and how many people does that affect i'm just saying will time will tell who's able to bounce and and six hundred dollars from the government is that government isn't going to do it. Yeah, $600. A one-time payment? $600 is a stimulus check for Americans. They're going to do this half of the first one.

The first one was $1,200. Now they're doing $600. $600. And I don't understand the argument for it. They think that that's the game changer? They think $600 is going to help people get through whatever they need to get through

until the vaccine is administered to everybody. So $600 until going to help people get through whatever they need to get through until the vaccine is administered to everybody. So $600 until everybody's vaccinated. That's what they feel like it is a, it's an interim money they need to give to people until they can vax. Hey, so now that you, now that you had it in the past, now that life has moved on, are you going to get the vaccine? No. Yeah, that's, I was are you going to get the vaccine? No. Yeah, I was like, we don't, right? You don't if you... I mean, I don't even believe in that three-month antibody thing.

You think it's longer or shorter? Longer. Yeah. Antibodies for our entire life have always existed there, right? Right. You get, what is that shit? The chicken pox. Yeah, yeah, right, right, right.

Then you get the antibodies, I think, and now you never get chicken pox again yeah yeah like for a kid they say like my grandma this is this funny i learned this because my grandmother just got shingles do you know that she was out of the club dude she was at the club she hooked up with a young dude no shingles she got she got shingles and legit it's such an old disease it's oh dude but it's old chicken pox it's the same it's the same it's the same viral herpes zoster bro it's herpes herpes is chicken pox it's it's all the same it's all the same thing it's different strains okay basically when older people get shingles it's because they're so far beyond those vaccination years and so far beyond the years affect them again yeah but like but that's why

i'm always i'll risk it at 70 right so i'm like well why well why am i now getting this email scare of like two months i'm like if these only last two months these are the bitchiest antibodies i've ever had yeah yeah it doesn't make any sense and again i'm not against the vaccination i just don't want to go you're saying because of the situation yeah i just don't want to go do it like i didn't want to get tested it's just annoying like i don't want to return genes that don't want to go you're saying because of the situation yeah i just don't want to go do it like i didn't want to get tested it's just annoying like i don't want to return jeans that don't fit like i this is an inconvenience like my hand has been broken for the last four months i had a broken finger i never fixed my finger it's fixed now i mean it kind of it's it's not perfect like it doesn't close all the way it doesn't be careful you're gonna end up with one of these look at that

yeah but that's what we do yeah like, the bone is coming out of your foot. Yeah, it's gone. It's not supposed to do that. Nah. But it's like, do I get it fixed? Nah. And then six months go by and you're like, I can walk kind of. You ran seven miles.

I ran seven miles. Yeah, the doctor said when I went in, he was like, because everyone that looks down at my feet, if I play ball, someone goes, what is wrong with your... And I'm like, oh, dude dude because i shattered it when i was in high school maybe it was either high school or college playing playing ball or goofing around yeah and the doctors the doctor was like look the only way now to fix this because it's healed that way is to shave the bone and i said well is it going to impede on my health at all like just having it he goes no no no he's like he's like you know you shave the bone though you're going

to be in a boot and all that stuff. And I was like, nah, I guess I'll just leave it. That's what it is. After 30, it's just leave it. Leave it. I got a chip in my tooth. Leave it. Leave it.

It would have to be half the tooth. Yeah, it'd have to be Jim Carrey, Dumb and Dumber, half the tooth for me to be like. And even then, it's a week. Yeah. Even then, it's a week. You'd have to have production call you and be like, are we going to fill in the tooth? I'm like like if you guys are paying for it

yeah because I'm not doing it yeah it's good it's like you get to certain points like this is this is what I'm gonna exist as this is how I look

everything's fine like come on we're fine yeah we have to keep moving forward yeah like we're busy you're busy yeah

we're busy we don't have time for all this yeah in fact going to the dentist has been one of those things where I'm like now that after I had Rona

I was like well I guess I can go now and still I'm like I don't have time for all this. Yeah. In fact, going to the dentist has been one of those things where I'm like, now that after I had Rona, I was like, well, I guess I can go now. And still I'm like, I don't have time to do it. Like, I'll go next year. I was going to get my teeth whitened. They're like, you can't drink coffee for a week. I was like, a week? Impossible. You might as well just keep me at the dentist's office.

What do you mean? What do you want me to do? I can't have coffee for a week? Yeah. Tell me what I'm going to do for a week then. I sleep three hours a night. I'm not going to not drink coffee? Dude, it's nuts.

No, that's crazy. Oh, wait. By the way, backing up. Shout out. Get back to some other reality. Shout out to everyone that worked on the show, by the way, because you did a great job of employing some great people. Oh, my God.

And most specifically, I want to give a shout out to Robbie. Robbie Slovak. Robbie Slovak. So, look, I loved Robbie. I knew Robbie when he was here. Always thought he was such a great, cool dude and a great joke writer. And then to watch him go to New York, which I knew he was going to go, him and Casey. Yeah.

I knew, you know. Shouts to Casey too. It was just kind of like, yeah, they're leaving. Yeah. And I was happy for him. I was like, dope because they're good people. And to see him be a part of that show and be a part of your world. Huge part of it.

I was just happy. It's cool to see good people who are good get work. Because so often, you know, I'm not going to get into this. But so often you see people that aren't so good that got a lot of work. And you're like, what's going on here? So it's good to see good people get good work. And honestly, I'm not going to talk about it anymore. Watch Schultz Saves America.

No, let's talk about that. Well, just watch it because it's great. Thank you, man. I really appreciate that. But also, like, yeah, the team that we have was unbelievable like when i talk about the show i say we like this is we did this yeah you do do that i had a fucking because it's not me i can't do that by myself right like and i'm not trying to brag about the show when i say this but to do what we did cannot be done by one person. It'd be very, very hard. Impossible.

Yeah, it'd be impossible. To do that many jokes in that little amount of time, that much research, that much writing, like all this, I'm going to get credit, obviously, because I'm fucking saying it. Because your name, it's your show. Yeah, exactly. But the reality is, is like Mark Gagnon, Robbie Slovic, FA L guy, unbelievable contribution of time and like brilliance to making this happen and then miles mccreary is the guy who was cooking up our images literally he would do the images for

the youtube and i and i said come up we'll get you involved in this and he was supposed to just be like a kind of liaison to the production company that was supposed to handle the images right and i saw the first run of images from the production company and I had a fucking blow up like bad like no thanks bad yeah and this kid stepped in

I mean he's just graduated like a year ago he was filling pools up in Florida he was filling pools with water yeah or like measure something

I don't know what his job is it was something with pools whatever but pools seem like they do what they do like it's not a lot of work right so

he could have done both jobs my pool guy comes for six and a half minutes every time is it water it's a pool water's in the pool and he takes off thank you yeah that's it so and then he comes and then he ends up heading the graphic team wow so all the guys were amazing but like yeah mark robbie killed it fa's never done anything in entertainment he's like he's a lawyer in london works for the security exchange commission out there yeah and he was just a really smart guy and i thought we needed the arguments that we make we try to

slice them so thin i wanted something he's like a funny guy but i also wanted something almost pseudo-legal about it like does this make sense where's the hole of course is it impeachable but they were so fucking funny and they made it so great and like we're getting to a point in time where if you want to if you want to make the greatest content possible you cannot do that by yourself and if you try to do it by yourself it's ego driven yeah and for me the greatest ego is if we're putting together the content right that's to me the greatest satisfaction like you can ask any of the guys the The best joke wins. 100%.

That doesn't have to be my joke. No, right. Do you know what I'm saying? The best joke wins. And it takes a little bit to get everybody on the same page to get them confident enough to say, yeah, I think we can do better when I pitch something. I need my guys to be able to look me in the eyes and go, we can beat that. You don't want yes men.

Never. You don't want some guy going, it's great, Schultz. We're good. Because that guy wants to go home yeah like every other monologue right right that's why they suck it's good yeah it's really good yeah yeah because because those people have families now like i just i want to go home i want to go home i don't care all of you invest in this like it's yours because it's yours right and we when we talk about it will be as if it's yours because that's the only way we're going to get the i don't know not only maximum effort because these guys have integrity, but just maximum quality.

Well, yeah, because otherwise you're, look, we don't need to go over this like we have ad nauseum, you and I particularly, but like creating your own things, right? Whether it's this or me in the show with the noodle boy, you know, like we put in so much effort into making it something beautiful and fun and unique because yeah because if given the opportunity from a corporate network standpoint i know that it's not in their best interest uh to bleed themselves out they're like well it's on you dude like we gave you the opportunity we went over the budget right so that just comes out of me yeah because because you need you need to know that if they just go it's fine that you're like fuck

if it's just fine that's bad yeah because being being in the fine space is what Hollywood has operated on for a long time

no we needed to it needed to be a masterpiece and I would tell them that I'd tell I'd tell Netflix that and I gotta give it up to Netflix you know I talked

mad shit about Netflix and they were incredibly supportive that's why they liked you so much maybe yeah they liked you so much. Maybe. Yeah. They liked the idea of someone that was like, oh, I'm going to break your system

and I'm better than your system. Yeah. And now they won't because they want to be able to go, what if we give you a lot of money? We were. We were better than their system. Of course.

I mean, it was working. Yeah. I mean, Netflix is putting Chappelle's stuff up on Instagram. Not because of how unsuccessful I was. I know. You know what I mean? Like, that's where you put comedy.

Well, let's talk about that. That whole thing was interesting, because I've talked to a lot of people surrounding this situation, because I don't want to get personal. But Chappelle, about the Chappelle show online. Oh, whining? Yeah, him talking about it online. Him whining? See, here's what's crazy.

Yeah, yeah. Him acting like Scottie Pippen, not Michael Jordan? You and I have the exact same opinion, and you already know it. When people were like, what do you think, man was brilliant i was like what it's crazy i love and respect the dude but that's crazy to be like by the way by the way you know i don't want to say i don't want to say who told me this but you know just by when i say this okay this person goes never mind the fact that all of the best sketches are already on youtube and i was like that's right that's right and That's right.

And by the way, go look, they're all on YouTube. Everything you've ever wanted is already there. It's, this is the trickiest thing because like I, I, as a creator wants Chappelle to own everything that he has. Sure. I want every creator to have the opportunity to own that. Yeah. Like I want you to make the most money off everything you do a hundred percent.

So I am on your side side 100% in that regard. The way that he went about it was just a letdown to me because I hold him to such high – Same. If I'm going to hold you to he's not my Jordan, but let's say, for example, he's living Jordan, when you act like Scotty, it's embarrassing for me. You're telling stories about you getting bullied over a joke.

He took my joke. I'm like, you're worth tens of millions of dollars. You're the most successful comedian in the world. You are recognized as the GOAT around the world. Right. And you're crying about a guy taking your joke. You had no success before the show. Yeah.

Why do you deserve a deal? The network is taking all the risk. You have no success before the show. Yeah. Why do you deserve a deal that network is taking all the risk? You have no success before. Everything's a flop. Right. Flop. Yeah. The specials, murder. Right.

Specials don't make any money. We all know this. They make nobody any money. They literally lose money so they can make a TV show with you or a movie with you and make money. That's why they do it. Exactly. Exactly.

Right. And you know this. Right. You do the deal it's the best show because you're fucking brilliant and your team is fucking brilliant yeah as well you had a great cast of characters that were on that show that made it amazing as well right and you were absolutely brilliant you make it amazing the next deal is better the next year literally is better yeah and then you get the exact deal you want yep somebody tell me what's wrong here i don't get it and listen i'm

the guy who's like fuck comedy central because they suck right but in this situation it doesn't seem crazy maybe they were meddling too much and then you have every right to leave. But to go back and act as if you were owed something different, it just seems peculiar to me. Well, here's the thing. I want you to get it. Yeah. You went about it in a way that where comics like us, where we look up to you and we aspire to be what you have,

it lets us down because we're like, nobody likes a whiner. Particularly because Comedy Central doesn't owe anybody anything anyway because Comedy Central took a ton of shots with a lot of people, right? The whole goal was, in their heyday, was like, how many people can we take shots with that are gonna maybe work out in the long run

to develop a show with or something else? They don't care about the art. They did shows with Carl Smancia. It means nothing. It's a corporation. So they're like, how many shots can we take? So when they funded the thing that they funded with this guy,

and Dave made something so iconic, it's like, well, they had to take the risk. And then he had all the leverage, and they paid him exactly what he wanted. I just don't see how that team of people is evil. I'll give you a good example. Am I missing something evil right like i'll give you a good example am i missing something no i'll give you a good example yeah and then they took advantage of me over the contract it's like you already did a movie right you're talking about the age of the contract like you have lawyers you have agents like you did the movie already by the way behind closed doors this deal could have been changed anyway he could have been like hey man we you guys do should give me a

percentage of whatever dvd sales or blah blah blah blah blah blah and it could have been changed my my best faith assumption of chapelle is that he did try to do that negotiation and they said no yeah and i would rather that be told because then i'd be like well fuck you viacom the least you could do is if you want to make some money on it cut my my mans in. Right. Like, yeah. That, to me, would have been way more honest. Sure. Yeah. Well, it would have been. But instead, it just felt like it was very much a soapboxy thing.

It's like, please don't watch the Pell Show. Not for me. Just don't watch the show. And I was like, yeah, but think about what that means for just the industry as a whole and all the people that are connected to that show. And it's like, just let the thing you're moving at some point you're moving on right you don't go back to your old house like you gotta keep what did you guys do to it yeah you gotta keep pushing yourself and doing different things i mean like they're not changing the

creative by the way it still remains what it is i think i think it was i think it was a bad move marketing wise but he's the best at marketing so what the fuck do i know but like all these younger people like people in their 20s they just know him as the guy who says like really profound philosophical things i know they don't know him as funny like my let's say like even younger than my little brother don't think chapelle is is funny they think he's brilliant profound profound and brilliant and if this philosopher we know That he's the baddest Motherfucker on the planet When he wants to be

But they don't Yeah And if you had those Out there And get your money I don't care But if they were out there All of a sudden

These people Who don't know him as funny Would start being like Oh my god He has the most Amazing sketch show ever And He's really profound

Which is how we know him Exactly That's why we love him so much We sit there for 20 minutes And let him just talk to us Without punchlines Because we're like Yeah and he's really profound which is how we know him exactly that's why we love him so we sit there for 20 minutes and let him just talk to us without punchlines because we're like yeah because he's the most funny guy in the world when he wants to be right right they don't right these kids are going why is that drunk guy babbling right they literally i'm telling you bro they literally say that to me no it's true it does feel that it's it's interesting i get the reactions like i'm sure

when you talk about on the podcast I have to tell people who listen to the podcast watch your mouth when you're talking about him right because they don't know

for what it's worth right do you know they don't know killing him softly right but and that's what

and that's all we know that stays embedded in us forever forever you already won us. You can't do nothing wrong. Like, I remember how disturbed I was when he got buff. I was like, what?

I was, like, let down when he got strong. For some reason, I was like, dude, you're the smartest. You're the quickest. You're the most brilliant, in-tune dude up here. And when he got jacked, I was like, no! Something, like, let me down. You know what i mean yeah you're like that's all i have over you it's my body i ran seven miles on a broken ankle don't

piss capone me now bro don't piss capone me now i mean just but anyway do any of you know joe they don't know joe that they don't but by the way if you if you're you know what i say stuff sometimes i'm always like some of my younger fans won't get it. And they always comment the opposite. They're always like, no, no, bro. Because they are, the thing that we had our whole lives was the internet. But the thing that they grew with was the internet. Like we learned the internet when we were in our teens.

They only know internet. It was burst through them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So when I talk about young fans and I'm always like, I don't know if you've heard you know uh loot pack or whatever i mentioned and young fans are like fuck you bro i know i have you know what i mean like i know everything about them and i'm like oh and they're like i'm 19 i'm like oh shit i okay like it's a trip to know what they're they're above they're they're quicker than we know it's not yeah it's it's it's not a lack of quickness but it's like if you're curious it's so easy to get information now yeah like. Like when we were curious back in the day,

we had to, I know this sounds crazy, but like we had to get, buy a book. Yeah. We had to go to Barnes and Noble. Buy a book. And buy a book.

And then read about Costa Rica. I remember like, or sometimes like if I was, if I was going to go on a vacation or something like that, like I would go to Barnes and Noble and I'd buy Lonely Planet. Yeah. Sometimes I wouldn't even buy it. I'd just like sit there and like look around sit there and look around and peel through the pages.

Yeah, and like, oh, this is really cool to do in Costa Rica. Right. Costa Rica, Google. Everything that you could possibly do. Four vlogs of people who went to Costa Rica. What's up? It's me. I'm back in Costa Rica.

Yeah. Isn't it crazy how we used to consume information? It's also how we used to... Like, no joke. I talked to a friend recently about when I first moved to the city and I used to have to use this thing called the Thomas Guide, which was a map of the city because I was a delivery boy. And you'd have to be like B6 and I'd follow it

and then I'd be like, fuck, and it's cut off. Thomas McCann or something? Or was it Thomas... What's the last name? It's not McCann? No, it's McMinnon or McMinnon or... Something like that last name? It's not McKinnon? No, it's McKinnon. McKinnon or McKinnon. Something like that.

But yet you had a map. I don't want to look it up. Fuck it. I don't want to look it up. There was an actual map. Map in my car. Yeah, it was a ring-bound map that I had to go through

and I had deliveries and I would go to famous people's houses. Do you know how... And it was also degrading because I'd get lost on the map going to a house because the hills, bro.

This isn't New York. New York is on a grid. You'd be an idiot if you can't figure out New York is on a grid you'd be an idiot if you can't figure out New York you're the dumbest person on earth when someone's like

I don't know how to get there I'm like what I'm lost it couldn't be easier can you count right you know this way

and that way but for here I was going up in the hills and I'm 23 years old and I'm like panicking confused because it's a left a right

and a back and I would have to thumb through this Fucking map now it's a dashboard Make a left on Trumbull Street you know like those Days I remind me of like Look we're not that old But when I think about that I go

We're getting older for sure But aren't we lucky that we were born In the transition period Yes thank god Yeah because then we get to appreciate yep technology yeah yeah because i've got a young uncle who he's he's just old enough where a young uncle yeah young my youngest my youngest uncle how does that my mom's youngest brother is he's he's he's only nine years old ten years old but he's older than you i thought it was like yeah latino no no no santino's italian

not no i know but i was like something's going on yeah no yeah my six-year-old uncle and my 40-year-old grandfather no but he's young and he he was like my older brother but he's just outside enough of the range of that where i see how it frustrates him yeah he's just off of it yeah yeah he's like i don't know how to fuck it i don't know how to fucking do it yeah and i'm like oh that sucks yeah we were right in the step of it we know how to do it but we're still baffled by it well they're way better than us i mean my sister's 10 years younger than me and she's tremendously better than me yeah because they're fluent it's a language right they they literally are comfortable with these apps yeah they speak it yeah they speak computers it's kind of like stand-up.

Like, you know, after you're doing stand-up for like a decade, you start to be like, oh, I know what's supposed to be funny here. Right. You know what I mean? Dude, I know. It's a language. You start to like, dude, I swear, even when we were doing the show, we would be in the room.

We'd be writing, right? And this is how we would speak to each other. Yeah, it's da-dun, da-dun, da-dun. Right. We wouldn't even have words yet but we knew the rhythm that is the rhythm it has to be at that like this is like nerdy comedy shit that like just maybe we and a few people care about but like they like they're into it but like that's how yeah i don't know i guess that's kind of like how fluent we start to get where we go we go

now that word is too long you know it bothers me so much yeah it bothers me when i see another friend of mine tell a joke that's too too much yeah and i'm like you're right there just just get the fat right out of it yeah the older generation is even way better than us even you know we mentioned colin before the show colin quinn's one of the best guys cutting fat like he just slices fat right out he's like get all this fucking fat he's yeah it's so quick it's so it's so brilliant which is what i'm jealous of i'm trying to i'm trying now to like as i write nowadays to slice out bullshit yeah because i'm like why is this so much filler and nonsense yeah they know what i'm saying yeah i don't need to do this over described show set up for the no no it doesn't it's not worth it colin said something really uh profound it was at

one of those like uh you know the montreal uh uh what is it like a state of the union or some shit uh not the one andy kindler does oh okay i was gonna say kindler's is called state of the industry or whatever yeah it was one of like a speech he was given thank you yeah and uh he said if you cut too much fat you lose the flavor. Oh that's so good. And like I thought it was kind of fire because

you know these like joke nerds which might have great jokes Yeah. But there's no flavor like it doesn't come from their heart or their soul at all. Some guys can write

a phenomenal joke but it doesn't feel like there's anything there. There's no soul. Right. And like having soul like for me

like soul's the most important thing like the connectivity the lizard connectivity between an audience sometimes is like Chris Farley never told a joke

in his life. Right. That's the funniest motherfucker. Like he just oozes funny. Yeah. He can look funny. Right.

He can walk funny. It's just funny. So it's like sometimes we try to be so pinpoint with our, like robotic with our words, and then we lose that fucking flavor, bro. That's true.

And you know what happens is I think, I think something to take heat of is as people get successful, they have a tendency to take themselves more serious, which loses the funny. I mean, we're all victims of it. Yeah. So it's hard. Like we have to continue like, look, you loses the funny. I mean, we're all victims of it. Yeah. So it's hard. Like, we have to continue,

like, look, you're a rocket ship, dude. You're a shooting rocket ship. You are taken off as you deserve and as you know and as you feel. And on the way,

you just have to remember that, like, well, comedy is the only thing about this that matters. Do you know what I mean? Dude, when we were doing... All the other shit is gonna get in the way.

This is so funny. When we were doing the pieces originally on Instagram, like a lot of these, what we did on Netflix started on Instagram. Yeah, turn your phone. Yeah, turn your phone, right? And the YouTube, right? Which, by the way, I thought it was going to be called turn your phone. At first, I thought it was going to be, I thought, when you put it out, I thought this

should be called turn your fucking phone. Because people would be like, why is it called turn your phone? It's on the TV. It's like, that's great. It's great. Turn your phone. It would be fire. And by the way, you need a copyright. Turn your phone it's on the tv it's like that's great it's great it would be far and by the way you need to you need a copyright turn your phone i gotta get it i got yeah you need to you see the uh the fake north face shirts we put out yes yeah yeah i gotta get you with it dude your fashion fashion i know your fashion pop out go ahead

get back you were saying wait what were we saying it was um oh yeah when we were doing the pieces what were we saying about it though i forgot it doesn't matter i was saying no i was saying that you're as you grow and as the success sometimes the pieces what were you saying about it though i forgot it doesn't matter i was saying no i was saying that you're as you grow and as the oh yeah sometimes the pieces were like um they were they were like poignant and really like thoughtful because like we wrote them to be that right right like that's not how i speak normally like i just fucking bust balls but if i really want to like sit down with my guys and put pen to paper like we can put together something really interesting just like if you want to sit there and like write a serious like thoughtful statement about something you can do that right and it does not like if

you're gonna write a wedding speech it's gonna be different than how you speak now so I started feeling a little bit like wait a minute do I have to know absolutely everything about every conversation I have and I remember like on the pods for a little bit I I felt that responsibility. And then I was like, no, you're a guy. You like busting balls, this is fun. When you go put that hat on when you go to work, when you lay some fucking drywall, that's what you do. But outside of that, you can be a person still.

Stop taking yourself so fucking seriously. Yeah, you have to. I had to, exactly what you're saying, I had to check myself and just be like, dude, it's not that important. It's comedy at the end of the day yes it's gonna be fun but that's the thing is when you start to lose that is when i get worried about people some people don't check themselves right yeah you need something someone either a person or a thing or there needs to be a thing that goes dude yeah dude what are you what are you doing yeah otherwise you're crying about a 50 million dollar contract that you were offered by comedy central that's what i'm saying

like like truth be told i loved eddie murphy more than i loved any comic when i was a kid i thought eddie murphy was wildly like but to a degree of like i thought he was the most brilliant comedic actor i had ever seen in my entire life too i was like this dude is an enigma he was there he was beyond and eddie at some point got so famous that he had to kind of go away he just like reclused and that's his opinion or i mean it's his choice yeah but i think he like lost a little bit of the shine then then you lose the pop you lose like the we love you dude like we don't need we don't need you to go to malibu that You don't need to go away. That's why you need the homies.

Like, not to bring it full circle, but like, you need your friends that you grew up with that don't give a fuck that you got a Netflix deal or you're in Beverly Hills Cop or none of that shit. Like, they've seen you in your most vulnerable, embarrassing moments. You know what I mean? And that's who you are to them.

And you've seen them in that, and everything is squashed. And that's like the reality check. Also, like, having, like, you got a wife, you know, I got a fiance. It's like having that person that don't give a fuck if it's, you have a special or YouTube video does well. Like, it's like, are we getting married in next summer? Or like, you know what I'm saying?

Like that thing is like. Babe, we got so many views. It's like, yeah, but can you take out the trash? She's just like, oh, this is nice. Yeah. But you know what's funny about Eddie? it's like i love eddie too yeah like so much we had a joke in the special about eddie right and it's uh it's uh we said news channels popped up like eddie murphy watching joanna man yeah right joanna man is for anybody who doesn't know it's it's a movie about a guy who pretends to be a girl and plays in the WNBA.

And you must watch it because it is comedy to the max of ridiculousness. It's absolutely ridiculous. It's so stupid. And Eddie obviously picked up the trans chick. Right. Right. So I hold Eddie to such esteem, bro. I hold Eddie to such esteem.

In the picture, he's got a boner, right? And Juana Manem in the picture. He's got a boner, right? And the Joanna man is on the TV. I put Vivica, a Fox's character instead of the guy who plays Joanna man, because I love Eddie so much. I'm like, I can't, I can't do it.

The joke works. Yeah. You just see the Jersey image. You can't zoom into the image. You'll see it's vivica fox and it's like i need to be fine with that but that's how much i love eddie you didn't want to hurt him that bad yes i don't and that's yeah that's a that's a that's because that's the guy man that's the guy yeah he's the look one of the greatest of all time but that's that is one of those things

where you're like at some sometimes in comedy we all shit on each other but but you want to do it where it's not if that's just my personal thing yeah like but also sometimes i'm throwing people in there that like it's a joke on purpose you know like bobby's in there i think you're in some pictures like yeah and it's like all my guys i try to put in pictures because i know that when we all see it it's like okay that's that's the boys it's fun yeah exactly part of the shit yes yeah it's part of the shit like this is this is the rat pack like right maybe people realizing don't know like watching don't know just yet but like what we've created is the same vibe that people would watch back in the day they would

just watch these people exist every time they put out a movie none of those motherfuckers can act but they just want to see them exist right that's what podcasts are right right it's just like i don't know we're welcoming them into our world and like for me to do that and be able to like you know throw a little you know lobs at the guys right that was cool tell me this have you had so far i asked you before we didn't get into it a little bit have you had some far? I asked you before, we didn't get into it a little bit. Have you had some hate come your way, but that you liked? Yeah, like. That you enjoyed the hate?

Yeah, on purpose. Like, our whole thing, like, you could tell they don't watch the whole thing because we literally describe how media works in the fourth episode. By the way,

none of them watch the whole thing. I know, it's so funny. They don't watch it. It's so funny. I got a, somebody said to me, they're like, how does George Soros' pee taste?

Like, as if I like, I'm kissing his dick or something like that. Somebody said that? Yeah's pee taste like like as if i like i'm kissing his dick or something like that somebody said that yeah and i'm like we have a whole thing where we just rip apart george soros so it's like you're not even watching right but we know they're not going to watch so the fourth episode we describe how media works how like no-name bloggers blog something a legit news outlet will take that as if it's a real story and they'll talk about it and then the bloggers will respond to the real story and then they make a story out of nothing yep literally i'm watching this happen which is what i want right because that's how you promote comedy yeah you're fishing people being

outraged right i could go on the fucking day the morning show whatever what is it called kathleen lodo yeah uh your morning show i think whatever like i could do that shit to promote it or i can let these idiots say it's too outrageous and how can Netflix put this on? And then everybody goes, I want to see it. Yeah. And they do it, but what's shocking to me is like, do you not realize you're doing what I said you're going to do?

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their show okay so long story short yeah i started it and i was like if i can it's fucking terrible it's terrible you're in it no no no i know someone that's it's their show you said we just started a new show you're watching we're watching it yeah got you got, no, no. I know someone that's, it's their show. We just started a new show. You're watching the new show. We're watching it. Yeah. Got you, got you, got you. And it's terrible. You're a professional actor.

I'd just like to let you know. So when you say we started a new show. I think you're continuing to be famous. I'm on a show. I'm on a different show. Yes, correct. And that, whatever, whatever. But no, I started a new show and it's a friend's show.

And I was like, it's terrible. And then I'm sitting on the couch with the old lady and I'm like, what do people say about this? And I made the mistake of even looking online. People love it. And I was like, this goes to show you that when I read what they wrote, they didn't watch it. They love who's a part of it. They love the idea. Yes.

And I was like, this is bullshit. What's the show? Can you say what it is? Nah. Is it Do I Know? Yeah. Well? yes and i was like this is bullshit what's the show can you say what it is nah is it do i know yeah well it's popular right now chess woman no that one's oh that one's good that one's kind of lit no i like that show but how fucked up is it but it's good they need to invent a woman who is good at chess right it's not like like they could look back into history and be like yo this chick was just

busting all these dudes ass in the chest they had to make it up they had to make it up that's crazy yeah that is bonkers i love that show though that girl was great she's wild she's a beast she was wildly good man the black chick was actually so good and they didn't use her enough i didn't get into that episode oh the girl who was in the like she comes back oh but i loved her later i was like why didn't this girl come around more often they'll bring her back for season two if there is one i think it's a limited series right those are one of those things i think god bless are you let me ask you this are you uh do you want to snake over to tv shit or no no i hate acting yeah um but i will say this uh i do want to make a film uh i want to do like an oceans 11 i will make like an oceans

11 12 13 i will make that type of film really yeah one of these days i'm not sure when you mean that in reference because you like a franchise or do you mean in the sense of like literally the way that those characters best friends yeah yeah literally that film is a podcast yeah and i want to make that film because i think that what we've curated and kind of built on our own is i mean obviously with the help of each other but like is really special and i think there's a lot of people would like to see us exist within these worlds yeah and like creating these hijinks in a story that's driven and we're bad guys but we're kind of good. We're thieves, but not us, but they're thieves,

but they're robbing worse people, so it's kind of fun. Yeah, everyone likes to see the rich get robbed. Exactly. Everyone wants to see the rich get robbed. By the way, ironically enough, or coincidentally enough, I say this quote all the time to my old lady. We were walking the dog last night, and we were having a little drink, just walking around the neighborhood.

How could you not want to be married? these single guys are such losers right like oh i crush puss all the time it's like don't you want to walk the dog am i getting old that like no it's it's great to me bro this is the comedy you have like it should be like you got to walk the dog when we go home you're like you want to walk with me she's like fine you're like yeah yeah well now now it's our escape but but i said to her we always do like we'll always do like little movie quotes if they're inserted in our conversation that like makes sense of stuff that we love and i always say that quote because she said um she was talking about something emotional that meant something to her and and uh i inserted i said um does he make you laugh tess and she says no he doesn't make me cry danny and that's my that's my favorite line that's my favorite line from that movie was when when when she says that to julia

roberts is talking to george it was so smooth the way the way and i'd say that to my wife sometimes i'll go well did he make you did he make you laugh test because she'll be like it was so funny I'm like did he make you laugh Tess she'll go well he doesn't make me cry Danny and I'm always like I know and also what she's saying is because you're an asshole sometimes

like that's her digging at me personally outside of me making the movie quote joke but that's one of my favorites because it speaks volumes he didn't make me he doesn't make me cry Danny as he slipped that cell phone in her pocket gotcha bitch

gotcha bitch such a good movie man dude all of them are great i know and it's just a hang yeah and how you're crazy if you look at me right now and you're telling me that we couldn't recreate that vibe and well here's the problem i mean you're right and here's the problem hollywood is so caught up no we're financing it we're no i know i know i'm saying but i'm saying why this doesn't exist as much anymore yeah it's because hollywood is so caught up with china china's in their pocket right china owns hollywood people people on the outside world

people on the outside world might not understand what i'm saying but yeah the chinese basically finance and own most of hollywood so most of these movies particularly now why all of these action movies are so popular and why it's just and they all just happen to go to china in the action movie you ever watch the transformers movie where like china they just happen to be in china for a few minutes right yeah yeah that's the chinese financiers and the chinese market is basically controlling what these major movies do and people will say that's crazy talk and you're out of your mind but bought like 50 of amc or something it's happening it's happening i think they bought yeah they did half of amc yeah they did yeah dude they they own a lot of property yeah in in that space yeah so anyway the reason is these kind of films don't really translate

internationally that one yes because george glooney and brad pitt are movie stars but i'm saying to make another a new version with young people is why it's hard but low-key i don't want it to be no you make an indie you make it you know what-key, I don't want it to be... No, you make an indie. You make an indie. Do you know what I want it to be? I want it to be swingers. That's what I'm saying.

You make an indie. You have to make an indie. You have to go with the most ground-root level crew and production company, people that are like, look, this isn't going to be the international sales icon. We're not going to sell it to China and Italy and Japan. But it's going to be a cultural landmark. But we should do that. More films should be focused on selling tickets in America.

The special is called Schultz Saves America. I know. That's home team. That's who I care the most about. I'm grateful when people in other countries listen and are cool and are really appreciative of the comedy. But don't get me wrong. These are my people here right this is the people i'm talking to yeah like right which is why i get annoyed when you have like the the olivers and

the nose and shit like coming over here that's like why do you care yeah why do you do you really care no it's about well it's about you want cheddar right yeah so then stop trashing half the country when you just want money right Like Alabama's a punchline to you. Right. You've never been to Alabama. No, they just like to say, because everyone sounds like this, they automatically go, well, he's a dick. He's a dummy.

Yeah, no. I think Burr said this a while ago. Burr was talking about that. He's like, if I hear one more foreign asshole do a talk show about, he goes, we get the shit on us. That's it, bro. We are shitting on us. It's our shit.

Same with the, what's it called? The Borat, Sacha Baron Cohen. Yeah. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. I hate it. God, I love you. He sucks.

The guy, he used to be a really funny, we all liked it. It was super low brow. Like you're 12 years old. You see a guy like do the dumbest, the easiest joke possible. The Borat shit. Yeah. It's the easiest joke possible But you're brave

So we let you do it It's fine Yeah yeah yeah And then he's on the fucking Golden Globes Or one of these stupid Award shows going like I use my comedy

To expose hatred And bigotry And his stupid British accent And uh And then I'm like Oh my god Is this guy taking him

So seriously He has like Stop hate for profit Is on his Twitter. You do it for a living. Right. It's how you got famous. Literally.

It's how you got famous. You take advantage of kind Americans who let you in their home. They let a stranger in their home. And you make them look stupid. Yep. And then when they sue you, you let the lawyers handle it. Yep. You cuck. You don't handle that shit at all and then you make millions of dollars yeah yeah and it

drives me fucking crazy yeah who the fuck are you yeah beat it you don't like it here beat it nobody asked you to come here and tell us we're racist we know know we're racist. That's why we came here. So we can be racist. Like, what does he think he's exposing? He's like, America's got some racists and sexists. Really? No. You don't say. Get out of town, pal.

Just these people, man. Well, that is the one thing that I said. Over the years, the thing that I found disingenuous that became about hidden camera and all that stuff was hidden camera used to be, we're doing this thing because you come from hidden camera. Yeah, I did. It was punked is where we started. You were fucking with people out of love because we were fucking with you with someone that

knew you. That knew you. It was your boy playing a prank on you. And then it turned into. We're all fucking making you look like an asshole. Some random person that you don't even, like you didn't ask for this? No.

That's what bothered me. It's kind of cool. So the line broke for me there. And I stopped and I never wanted to do it again. And like, I just got to a point when I saw all of it online go from this genuine place of like, you fuck with your friends

to I fuck with people to make them look dumb. And I was like was like wow that's the beginning of the end of it because it used to have some it used to have some kind of like heart heart to it yeah it was the most heart yeah and then it became you loved right and you're seeing them vulnerable fuck you you're a moron can i convince you to can i give you 600 bucks and you'll let me put this on tv or on that's's when I was like, I don't want to ever be associated with this shit ever again. Like I wrote a pilot.

We wrote this pilot and it was, can you, it was basically, can you help me get out of this? That was the idea. All the sketches were, could you help me get out of this? Which was great. So they didn't look stupid.

Our actors looked stupid, right? It was like, I did something fucking awful. Can you help me? Oh my God. So you're running to some person, you've got was like, I did something fucking awful. Can you help me? Oh my God. So you're running to some person. You've got like somebody's severed hand. Yes. And you're like, help me.

It's more like one of the bits was in a hotel. There's a wedding in one of the banquet halls, right? And one of the guys had shit himself and he had come out and he was like in the middle of the hotel and these guests are just checking in. And as they're being led to the elevator, man's like i just shit myself and i'm middling of my brother's wedding and then do you have any pants in your suitcase like do you have any pants in your yeah and of course like it's a it's a simple stupid bit but like it's funny to watch somebody have a conversation with you about well should we give this guy my pants because this is instead of going look how horrible

americans are it's look how sweet right and kind yes average human being is yeah when somebody is in desperate need of something right we will help it will be weird but we'll be gross but eventually we'll help right that's what it was and so and like what we would do is then we drag him in like a guy gave the guy a pair of jeans yeah and he And he was like, will you come in with me? Yes. And he was like, why do you want me to go in there? He's like, because it feels weird that I like ran out for no reason. They don't know.

Da da da da. And you know, we have these actors suck and people would come in. This is amazing. Yeah. It was just, and then you're great. Then you're a part of the world. Yeah. And it was less about, um, don't you look stupid?

The whole joke was we, and we continually said that when we were writing, it was like, help, please help me. I'm in trouble. And so our people look dumb. And then you look like, you know, we're basically, we're just tricking you to be in on the fun with us. Right. But it was never like, you did this. We exposed how nice you are. Right. We exposed that you're viable enough to get into a situation where somebody looks vulnerable and stupid yeah and it's all and over funny yeah but i after that i was i got offered a few jobs to do other stuff and i had to quit because i just i was like i don't want to ever i don't want to ever make some guy feel like shit and then be like we're gonna give you a thousand dollars yes and and by the way they need the thousand dollars so they're willing to look like a racist yes because

they need the fucking money that's when it kind of look like a racist in front of everybody. Yes, because they need the fucking money. That's when it kind of ends. When you're like, that's it. The fun died. It's not even real at that point. Because you're paying. Right. You paid them.

Yeah. You made them sign. They had to sign because it's, you know what I mean? Like you made them sign so we could show your face. Speaking of which, I don't know if you've ever seen this. Maybe I'm dumb. I'm sorry to interrupt. It's not weird that like you come to America specifically for greed.

Greed. Gluttonous greed. I need more money. And then you feel like you can criticize anyone. Yeah. That's weird, no? That's very weird. Isn't that odd?

Yeah, it's very weird. It's very weird. Your dream is not to tell talk about american politics so you have politics everybody's politics right it's money yeah truffle pig just a truffle pig and then you feel like you could judge anyone yeah it's so odd well that that's where you that's where people lose me in general is when it's like if you get to a point like you know how you know what's weird you know people talk shit about sandler you know like the guys will say like i don't even like his comedy and i'm like bro you're lying bro first of all first of all first of all here's a guy

who brought all of his friends along for the ride whether you like it whether you like the movies or not and all he did was create a community and have a great time and loved it the whole fucking way sandler to me is the answer because he got away from it he was like I'm not involved myself in the Hollywood bullshit I'm gonna make money

and movie with my friends and it's all gonna be for fun yeah like that's what Rogan did with podcasting Sandler did with that movies yeah and literally that's

those two guys that's what I wanna do yeah make shit with your friends and then everyone can say whatever the fuck they want it's like we still get to keep making shit

yeah and have like really talented friends that you respect and that's often why you'll become friends because you realize that you guys both have the same kind of like respect and standards for content right comedy yeah i just think it's great are you guys are you guys now that you're doing your studio is full on now are you going to be making shows for other people is that the future i i don't i personally i don't think i have the bandwidth to do it i have like an advertising agency that i've partnered with so like we sell ads for myself and like yeah the other podcasts and you know some other pods as well so that is just like another kind of like like i guess side business but i don't really manage that that much right i mean

but i have like my guys that are doing that but um for me as far as the pods i i would just rather like if there's somebody i think is really good just give them looks and like go like yo here here and i'll just call them i'll be like listen you need to fix this thing or try to get this in your studio or blah blah blah like that's just for me what i what i'd like to do because i know that it it, it requires time. A lot. Yeah. It requires a lot of fucking time. And I don't have that.

And I'm going to half-ass it. If I try to do it, I don't want to half-ass someone else's like dream. Uh, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. And then,

and then tell me this, what's the future of you with specials now? Are you going to start doing Netflix shit? Are you going to keep doing it on your own? So I have a special that's going to come out when we can go out and tour again. On Netflix? I don't know. Come on, man. I don't know. You know what I mean? We made a deal.

This is before all this. With a network. And then I got some notes I didn't like. So with all due respect, I don't like the notes yeah so we have to see where that where that goes so hard to give notes on comedy that's what i respect on netflix i tried to explain that to to a guy the other day it's not even on the comedy it's just like this is offensive we don't

punch down type shit and i was just like you knew what you were getting in business with you're a sweet guy and you really love it i can tell tell, but I understand everybody's got to answer to other people, that's totally fine. But now we're in a situation where we can kind of pick and choose a bit and we're going to choose whatever does the best thing

for the piece of content, whatever's most true. I put out that stand-up special and then we're going to see happens man it's a it's wide open we're gonna do that movie in a little bit maybe that's a few years yeah that's a little that's a few years but that will be really fun for us like that's the type of thing where we're gonna show up and you've done so much more acting than me so you can speak volumes to this but like acting is often so boring yeah but when it's miserable it can be fun no it's very

fun but it's also it's also a lot of work it's shitty yeah it can be just yeah and it but like when you have someone who's just like yo can you guys just go try to have the most fun yeah then i think we're in a good place and i think when we do that that's a few years from now but like i think that world and then literally all I want to do after that is just do big projects less. So like every two years we do one of those oceans movies. Yes. Maybe we do a yearly wrap up every year, like maybe a special every two years. But in the opposite of the movie or something, just big, but not as much constant content right and then build up my guys

you know i want mark to have his own shows and whatever he wants to do i'll support and the same thing with akash and all these guys and robbie i'm gonna say one of mark's one of mark's jokes and i'm not i'm not gonna do it justice so i'm not trying to say that but i told him how much it made me laugh so hard when he said and this is dude this is how you know how crazy this is this was before the pandemic that's right he was out in la and he goes at the factory we're all there yes and he and he goes uh and this is mark's joke i'm not this is not my joke i'm just saying but i told him how much i loved it when he said i see all these asian people with masks on it's like we get it you're a doctor like stop rubbing it in that was like such a good joke bro and also now how crazy the how the relative the relativity of it all yeah is so wild dude he's a he is very very

funny dude he's a very funny dude he's great he said something in that same joke it's it's something like um again you're a doctor yeah he said something about like uh the girl yeah like i went on one of these blind dates with this Asian chick, and I got a, what's the term, you know, they don't look exactly like the, koi fish. He's so funny. He's great, man. Hey, so tell me, you're on a new level right now of success.

Have you spent some money dumb? Have you done something dumb? I don't. You haven't done it yet? I'm taking a nice vacation an expensive vacation that's not it that's not it but i haven't bought a thing that's dumb i spent stupid money on my girl's ring yeah but that's again i just don't that doesn't count to me i agree with that in vacations because i'm like those are that those are a thing in life that that is that are experiential it you have to yes it's worth it's worth all of it yeah i don't dude i don't need a lot bro i mean that sincerely like i i want to be able to take care

of my family but i can't wait to call you when you do some dumb shit when i do some dumb shit you'll be the first person i can't wait to be like bro what did you what did you do can i tell you something i almost bought a ferrari you did see this is what i mean but i didn't buy it but i was watching drive to survive on netflix the f1 yeah the f1 reality show right okay yeah and i'm like oh this is fun and i started watching it and i was like non-stop watching it it was during ramadan i remember this specifically and we're all locked down everything like that and i was watching it and i was like i think i need a ferrari like i just need that like and i started justifying it to myself i was like babe you know it's like rappers

it's like marketing like i can take pictures in front of it's true this is all true you're not getting a ferrari like what are you talking about and i literally started looking up ferraris dude what would you have bought what would you have bought did you see one that you liked i was thinking of getting because it's much cheaper but still fire remember when we were younger there was that video game like cruising usa or something like that yeah i think it's a ferrari you drive in that there was some video game with a ferrari yeah yeah cruising usa is it there was a ferrari yeah it's probably uh testarossa is probably what it was 97 or 96 i can even look it up i want to say hold on i want to say it was give me one one uh sorry everybody hold on here no it's a ferrari

testarossa i was right i guessed it right Yeah, it's that one right there. Exactly. Yeah, Ferrari Testarossa. And it's 90 what? 90 something? Well, the Testarossa, it was a few years, but 96 was the last year I think they made them. Okay. So you're a car guy. You really know. Yeah, I am.

Okay. So- Because you know who had one of these. Ooh. MJ. God bless. 23 had a Testarossa. By the way-

God bless. By the way, by the way, his Testarossa- What was the license plate? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, because because because they're they're different ones for everyone because he had a yellow f430 same hack fucking life right it's always some shit for him it's okay yeah he always had like uh air air one or air six or air two yeah he had a testarossa that he pulled up uh in the in the finals and i'll never forget it was in um i think it was in the finals. And I'll never forget. It was in, I think it was in the documentary.

It was in this documentary that came out about him. It was in that. Last Dance. Yeah, Last Dance. When he pulled up, he pulled up and he gave the keys to the dude that he was gambling with. The little white guy. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So you would have bought one of these, an old school Testarossa, huh? I wasn't going to buy it, but i was just in a state can i tell you something yes go if you were going to buy a ferrari would i would i fucked up if i bought that no this is the this would be the way to go and tell me what you're reasoning and what is your reasoning because classic ferraris like that like classic cars by the way they're they're they're held to such a high standard because the community is prideful of the history. Yep.

If you bought, you know, Some new, like, fancy. A brand new Ferrari, I'd be like, What a loser. What a loser. Foolish, yes. But to buy a classic Ferrari like a Testarossa, to me is more.

And also, like, we played the video game. Yes. Like, we're kids. It was our childhood. That's our childhood. Yeah, Ferrari's, yeah. So, like, a little bit,

I'm like, okay, maybe I'm not a car guy. I don't know as much as you or, like, Rogan about cars. But at the same time, I go, like, I got a little connectivity to this. Like, this'm not a car guy i don't know as much as you were like rogan about cars but at the same time i go like i got a little connectivity to this like this was cool it's your youth yeah it's your youth but i but i stopped myself but but it could it's they're pretty affordable i'm gonna buy that car bro yeah what was your first what was your first car i well i grew up in the city so my first car was a toyota corolla when i came out here right Right. That's so wild. My cousin's Toyota Corolla. She gave it to me.

You still don't have a car? I don't have a car. Does your lady have a car? No. Damn. Isn't that so wild? Yeah. Well, I mean, you guys don't need to know.

I have electric bikes. What? Oh, I've seen these. Yes. Russell Peters has these things at his house. Super 73 has all these different ones. They've been very generous. And then I bought one that's called a Huck and this is so fire man this guy i actually want to

give him a plug if that's cool yeah please veteran it's a huck he's a veteran he makes these electric um bikes they're motorcycles the pedals do like nothing but he found a way to like make it a bicycle bicycle right motorcycle i'm going 60 on the highway with my girl in the back seat she's popping up and down it's called the huck h-u-c-k h-u-c-k shout out to brett my boy brett mccoy the guy he's out of north carolina or something like that look it up you'll see cycles or something cycles it's a you're on it it's a fucking motorcycle it goes way too fast for me electrified rides with pride there it is build your own bike this this is a motorcycle bro it's a motor i'm looking at it it's a motorcycle 60 miles per hour i don't need to go 60 miles per hour it's a bicycle motorcycle it's so dangerous i didn't ride it the entire time during netflix

i was like i'm gonna get an accident i won't be able to film this and then of course akash gives us all corona but still but still shout out to akash but yeah yeah that that is like kind of cool and but again yeah i don't i don't why do you do you have like a big spend thing you got a nice house i think you had to put some money down on the house yeah but how that was it that was the only thing i ever spent money on i don't dude i don't spend money because uh you're gonna say i'm faking it or i'm corny but i'm so afraid of it going away i just think it's in the back of my old Irish Catholic blue collar working class head of like, well, they're going to take it away or it's going to go away.

This is good. You show it. It'll never leave me. Dude, I feel guilty. You know what's weird? I've never felt guilty about spending money for other people. Other people, but for yourself, you feel something wrong. It's insane.

My wife, if she's never asked for shit, which is annoying. I've actually said that to her. I've been like, you could ask for more shit. I'll buy you more shit. She never asked for shit, which is annoying. I've actually said that to her. I've been like, you could ask for more shit. I'll buy you more shit. She never asked for shit. Honestly, it's weird. It's like weird to be like, you don't ask for shit. We got to go out with the girls, man.

Let's go. I would love to. When LA opens up again. Let's do it now. Fuck it. No, my girl's up in SB. We can't even go to a restaurant. Her whole family's from Santa Barbara.

Yeah, but nothing's open up there. I thought up there. We got to go a place with like fish. We had to get to go. Wow. So you can't even eat anywhere. Was she born and raised up there i thought up there we got to go a place with like fish we had to get to go wow so you can't even eat anywhere she born and raised up there she's born and raised there and then she moved to new york and she was like uh 14 or something like that or 15 to do a ballet she was like really good at ballet what yeah she was like a professional or whatever well she was she did like the high school thing and then she was like this is a horrible way to live and then

yeah right seems miserable yeah and is did they make money i'm done oh it's just it's like it's just a bad life so she went to school and now she's in business school now yeah now she's gonna and then and then she can make all the money and i'm retiring i'm just gonna say that's what i'm saying like just go get the money i'm gonna make my oceans 11s movies you know i'm going for two months i'm smoking would you ever move out this way because of her out there not even out there per se but like i like what you have like when i saw your place i'm in the suburbs papa i don't even care where it is like i just like the land i like going into a yard and just being like okay cool this is mine and i can be outside and it's private yeah like i like that i i just think it's really cool so you can't have that in new york right and that

kind of bothers me what about long island i don't i don't want to go all the way out to the island if i'm gonna be on the water it's gonna be hot yeah there's no point in being on the water and it snows that's very smart right yeah i know that's funny that you say that because i've when i thought a family friend was going to move to long island and i was like it's cool it's a great little i spent my summers in long island yeah no it's i would say it's nice but also you know the winners are still the winners on long island you know if i'm going to move to the beach it's going to be out here right i think we just see what happens with her she's still you know she she finished up business school see where the the job offers are. Because up there is beautiful, man. I've talked about escaping up there.

We've had multiple conversations. The only reason that we're not going to move is because, you know, if I'm moving, it's to leave California. I'm not going to move to a new place in California. Where would you go? We're looking at Denver. We've already went and looked at some land already. Denver's fire, dude.

Well, I love Denver, Colorado as a whole. I have this thing in my heart for because I've gone there for years with her and I don't know man there's something about how would you do the pods fly in

fly back and forth yeah that's what everybody seems to be doing so one hour and 20 minute flight from Denver to here so you come in once a week

you have a place here I imagine you just get a little one bedroom or something like that yeah you do knock it out pop pop pop

and then take off. I wouldn't even do it. No, I would do it every other week is what, that's kind of what I plan. So you stack the pods. You'll do, that's really good. Yeah. Yeah, just because I want to, I don't know.

I want the ability. I mean, look, things are going to change when the country opens. We're going to be, the touring is going to be absurd. I think it's going to be the first thing people come back to. Yeah, you know what? Look at, because someone was talking to me about um oh yeah like what if what if you know that

doesn't really bounce back as well i go dude after the great depression people wanted entertainment so fucking bad i think they wanted they wanted to feel alive again but didn't didn't they say like uh the movie industry boomed during the great depression it's like the one thing that did well that's also because that's that's all that was left at some point that's all they had but live entertainment took off in the 50s and the 60s yeah because people needed to have something to be like i want to go to a show i want to feel a thing again i want to feel connected with people i want to sing songs i want to go to a concert and sing a song i know with 10 000 other people so bad i want to I want to smoke a joint and have a drink with strangers. So bad again.

I miss being around an energy. Because I'm not a big energy guy when I go out, but I love being in it. Like I want to feel it around me, right? I like to go, if I go to a bar or a club or whatever, I like to be in it, but I like to just watch it. I don't know what it is. I like to kick it and watch it all happen dude sometimes i have friends over at my place like uh when i was a kid and i was like high school and stuff like that and i would go into my

room but just kind of like leave the door open and they'd be like hanging around like we're playing video games or whatever in the living room etc and i just kind of like know that they were there and i just be like all right that's cool i like just like knowing that there are people around but i didn't need to be exactly plugged into it no but it feels good to know that the action is happening yeah there's something about that that i think people need again in the especially in the world of entertainment like i booked the only show i have booked deep in the year i have an act one october date that i'm not going to talk about yet but it's because we think then that this theater will be open yeah and also i know people are going to be like foaming to go back.

Yeah, I mean. Come summertime next year. We're good. We are. If we're not good, we're doing it anyway. Yeah. I don't give a shit. I think people are over it now.

Come summertime, we're doing it. I think people, the sentiment I get even out here is like, they're ready to risk it. Well, people are just I mean you know look and everyone's like LA is booming and it's crazy and epicenter and all this stuff is it yeah that's what they say yeah explain what do you mean they say that oh corona we have the most cases and all this stuff yeah but it's like why uh I think we're we're first of all we're the highest population I mean there's too many humans here right and they all live close to each other I just

and also it's the winner dude Fouch and all these guys were saying the winner's gonna be the worst and everyone's like we'll see

and then it is why didn't they prepare for it that's my point what was it though talk your shit do your shit then if it's so bad then have extra beds ready

right how about these empty stadiums that nobody's using go to Staples Center they ain't fucking playing there y'all gotta get rid of we gotta rid of that. Y'all got to get rid of that boy. Newsome? Yeah.

You got to get rid of that motherfucker. We got to get rid of Cuomo, but y'all got to get rid of Newsome. Isn't that funny that your problem is less embarrassing than ours? Yours at first was, I was like, ah, New York. And now I'm like, ah, fucking LA. Dude, we win every time with embarrassing ourselves. We're the best at embarrassing ourselves. Is anybody supportive of this guy?

No, I don't care if you're a liberal or a Republican or a conservative. It seems unified. Yeah, no one likes the dude because he's a fool. He's a fucking fool. He's a phony. He's a fool. The dude closed down the wineries. Well, restaurants. And then he went to eat at French Laundry. I know. Then he went out to eat.

Great restaurant, though. By the way, it's so good. If we have to take the lady somewhere, maybe we go up to Napa We would I'm just saying When it opens up I mean you know I mean

Because he knows He knows like He knows like Any of us know The rich don't have to stop The rich don't have to stop It's a lie And when we talk about the rich

We're not talking about us No No Like No Like when you get When you get, you realize how not rich you are. Yeah. When you get a little money, you realize how-

I got a couple of bucks. A couple of bucks. When these guys we're talking about, they are the- I met a guy that won a million dollars. And I said, whoa, that's crazy. crazy and he goes i guess it's whatever and i was like yeah it's right i get it yeah for him it was a joke it was a gambling thing yeah it was like oh it was a million bucks and i was like holy shit that's a phenomenal win yeah you know there's a you know a little duval yeah yeah i love that that dude is hilarious that's like my mentor he's hilarious i just love that guy i don't even know if he knows that right to

me i just look up to him in so many ways if you don't know by the way look him up on instagram at the very least he's blocked by instagram now oh what really there's some weird thing going on he has a backup account called like little duval backup but they just keep every time they bring his account back up they remove it why because it's so raw or whatever i have no clue i think this is people hate him but that's like freddie gibbs freddie gets freddie gets in trouble all the time because he posts all sorts of shit i love freddie gibbs hilarious yeah but little duval where he what what he um i don't know what the fuck i was gonna say what were we talking about before that i don't know i slipped damn man

no what did he say no i want to say is he i mean he does we'll come back to what were we talking about before that? I don't know. I slipped. Damn, man. No. What did he say? No, what I wanted to say is he... I mean, he does... Yeah, we'll come back to it. What were we talking about right before that? French laundry? Yeah, we were talking about taking... We were just saying taking the girls that do the French laundry and breaking the rules and then rich and how rich is wealth is different.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. He has this term that he calls it rich broke. Yeah, rich broke. Meaning like he's rich, but if he stops working, he'll be broke. 100%. So like we're rich broke. Yeah. meaning like he's rich but if he stops working he'll be broke 100 so like we're rich broke like we're good we're comfortable but we gotta work yeah we can't stop there are people out there that they don't ever have to work anymore their kids will never have to work yeah and their kids will never have to work yeah and if they invest right their kids kids kids kids

will never have to work like there are people that right their kids kids kids kids will never have to work like there are people that have so much money that just leaving the money where it is will generate enough money for generations to exist crazy yeah it's nuts yeah no and also when you see it when you learn it when you meet it it puts a lot in perspective uh but it hurts you a little well like as a human being yes not having those stakes like like the fact that we have to work makes us great at what we do right we're like constantly thinking and hustling and trying to find different ways right it's like the restaurants in new york like how do i find a way to get people to come here and 30 degrees outside right they're gonna find every way they possibly can because they're hustlers because they were

born that way imagine you had 50 mil just sitting in a bank account you think you really build in a fucking gazebo outside on park avenue right now you're like we're closed we're closed till next year we're close we're going to the bahamas yeah no that's true and by the way that's happened in la there's a few restaurants that have been closed the whole time and i thought i wonder how they're how they're doing and i'm like these are funded by multi-multi-millionaires. They don't fucking care. How long do we have to close? I guess we're going to Aruba.

Yeah, fuck it. Yeah, we'll just jet bounce. I mean, trust me, there's no shortage up here by the airport. There's no shortage of private jets that fly out up north. Is Burbank the private? Burbank is. Well, Burbank and Van Nuys both have tons of private flights. There's no shortage of

g4s and g5s that I see flying because the people who got money are doing all right right now they're living just fine nothing has affected them dude I said the other day to a friend I said a g a black g5 and all blacked out matte black g5s I flew over and I was like fuck man that's like a hundred grand in gas just what just over your head right now and he goes oh it's like 10 a day and i was like that's what to think about don't they don't skip a beat life just continues but then they yell at you don't leave your house they're going to fucking it's insane the balls that's that's why the i think that's why the gavin newsom thing is so infuriating yeah it's like if you're willing to make a decision that's that's why the i think that's why the gavin newsom thing is so infuriating yeah it's like if you're willing to make a decision that's going to cripple so many people's lives and then you're

not going to stand up to it yourself it's like you should be bare minimum put in prison well we should stone you in public we should be able to stone you because i didn't know what the legal ramifications of that were but like bare minimum bare minimum there should be some sort of public public shaming yeah yeah public shaming flogging we should get back to public flogging i'm a flaw why can't we come around and hit you it's a flaw it's a flaw it's a flaw you just get walloped on the tush that's all it is throw a banana at you like we should be able to throw cabbage like not hard vegetables or fruit like soft fruits. Soft fruits. Soft fruit. Tomato. Bring your soft fruit.

Newsome's getting it today in the town square. That is how it should be. You should get punished with some soft fruit. Nothing pitted. No, no, no, no, no. No pits. No pits. No pits.

Hey, hey, hey. I see you bringing a pit. You're gone. Is that a peach? Is that a peach? Danny, what did we say what did we say is that a pair of five pairs are fine yeah um it's true we'll uh we're gonna look we'll make it out alive one way or the other but i want to tell you this um two things before we

before we jet because i love you and i appreciate you brother please watch you guys everyone most of the fans probably have already seen uh schultz schultz saves america and he does uh watch it on netflix spread the word and keep watching everything that you guys are putting out because it's incredible we end the episode the same way um i walk off camera you look in the camera and you say one word or one phrase to end the episode you do it at your discretion when i'm away you it. So when you're ready. It was Neil Brennan. In here, we pour whisk, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are pugilist. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.