Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Chris Distefano, Sal Vulcano, Joe DeRosa
Episode Date: January 20, 2023Santino sits down with The New York Boys: Chris Distefano, Sal Vulcano, & Joe DeRosa to talk about the freaks, Walt Disney & RKelly's insanity! #chrisdistefano #salvulcano #joederosa #andrewsantino #...podcast #whiskeyginger COME SEE ME ON TOUR!!! https://www.andrewsantino.com ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com ============================================================ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! RABBIT HOLE $5 OFF with Promo Code: WHISKEY https://rabbitholedistillery.com/drizly VESSI 100% Waterproof Shoes Use promo code WHISKEY for 15% Off & Free Shipping https://vessi.com/whiskey SQUARE SPACE Get that site up and running now! 10% off your order https://squarespace.com/whiskey ROMAN Get 20% OFF your order https://ro.co/whiskey Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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I love my dog, and she's incredible.
She's also a little bit of a pervert, I'm not gonna lie.
It's disgusting, she's so weird.
Whenever we start hooking up,
I can hear her collar jingling down the hallway
like a prison guard with the keys
when they know the boys are being bad, you know?
Whenever we start hooking up,
she'll start running to the room,
and we have to close her out.
But still, she's persistent. You'll hear her under the crack of the door just...
Like a detective. It's twisted. The moment that we're done, the moment we're done hooking up,
I'll open the door. The dog will come in the room, jump on the bed and go right to the wet spot.
And she's like, get her off the bed.
And I'm like, let Scruff McGruff figure out the crime.
Who done it, Scruff?
Was it the ginger general with the lead pipe in the ballroom?
Who did it?
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Come on down the rabbit hole with me. What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show.
If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. Man, do we got a good one for you today. Like my man Steve Harvey done say, it's the boys, the New York boy toys. Joseph DeRosa,
Chris DiStefano, and Sal Vacano.
I got a three-way, baby.
It's a four-way,
but it's a threesome with them,
and I was just watching the whole time.
Hey, you like comedy.
That's why you're here.
Please watch my special
on Netflix, Cheeseburger.
Watch it right now.
Please tell people.
Spread it around.
Tweet about it.
Instagram it.
Double like it on Netflix
and tell everybody you know
about Cheeseburger on Netflix right
now. Please go watch it.
That's enough rambling from me. Let's go to
me and the boys in New York.
In here, we pour
whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey,
whiskey. You're that creature
in the ginger beard. Sturdy
and ginger. Like vampires,
the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are
beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey
and $75 for the horse.
Gingers are hell no.
This whiskey is excellent.
Ginger.
I like gingers.
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome back to Whiskey Ginger.
My guests today
are some of my favorite people on earth.
I say that for all my guests,
but I mean it once again today.
Ladies and gentlemen,
it is Sal Vulcano, Joe DeRosa, and Chrissy Chlamydia in the house.
Hello.
Christophe Stephano.
We're doing it from a very tense room.
Joe doesn't have the mic to his mouth because he just did a recording and a little upset at Sal.
Yeah.
Tune in.
It's the episode of text messages versus phone calls.
Yep.
Woo!
It got heated.
It's the most heated taste buds ever.
It's the most heated taste buds ever.
It might have topped weed alcohol, which was very ugly.
And don't worry about it because there was a lot of talk off camera about deleting certain parts.
It got very personal.
But Andrew and I recorded that from off camera.
So we have that.
So we're putting it in no matter what.
We're putting in the whiskey ginger.
The idea that some people think that something should be cut out is true.
You should cut some stuff out.
Right.
But we're leaving all that in, especially when you make that comment about Jews.
I'm going to leave the Jew stuff in because that's so disgusting.
Yeah.
I didn't know you were that guy.
Joe, I think after this episode, I think it's actually going to leave the juice stuff in because that's so disgusting. I didn't know you were that guy. I think after this episode,
I think it's actually going to be great for you
because I think after this episode,
people are going to say you're the new Meghan Markle.
And I think that's going to be right here.
Cat out of the bag,
he's never seen a single episode of Taste Buds.
Why would I watch that bullshit?
He's railed on the juice for 108 episodes.
What?
You think just now that's something?
Scumbag.
Yeah.
Are you drinking Schweppes?
First of all,
I have seen taste buds.
That's all you have here.
That's not true at all.
It's Venetia's fault.
The studio stinks.
Well, we gotta yell
that Chris Brick.
Chris got a phone call
from the people downstairs
at a chandelier store,
which isn't a real store,
by the way,
obviously a front.
It's a front.
How many fucking chandeliers?
Who's buying chandeliers?
Zero people.
Literally zero people. You have, though. I shouldn't even know. How many fucking chandeliers? Who's buying chandeliers? Zero people. Literally zero people.
No.
You have, though.
I shouldn't even.
I have three chandeliers
in my house right now.
Describe them.
Sure.
In the entryway.
What's called a?
Foyer.
Foyer.
Foyer.
Or a vestibule.
No, no, no.
All right.
A kind of a Art Deco bulb situation.
Beautiful.
In the bedroom,
I have a beautiful crystal kind of glass Beautiful. In the bedroom, I have a beautiful crystal
kind of glass situation.
In the bedroom.
And then over in the dining room,
I have a much more modern
circular light situation.
Wow.
Very nice.
Now, what's your lighting situation
in your place, Joe?
No chandeliers.
LED strips?
I'm not allowed to have...
Joe lives over at D-Strips.
Joe lives over at Dumpling Shop. Bobby lives below you. Yeah, I'm not allowed to have anything that I would be able to hang myself from.
No, let me tell you something else.
Let me jump in here.
Joe's actually, he's got his apartment small, but honestly, you have one of the tidiest,
like you have, the way you have your apartment set up, you have so much stuff
and it's organized so well
that it's almost like a little like
when you walk into his apartment,
you're like,
wow, this guy's got his shit together.
I like how you talk about me
like I'm a man that was released
from some sort of program
that's able to now function on his own.
Were you?
Were you a little bit?
I might have been.
Yes, I'm the only one of the three of us
that does not have a house.
Do you clean? Look at his curl. It looks like a pig
tail.
Tail of a pig.
I started today.
We're going to go to Bellato's after this. We'll go out to dinner
and we'll have fun. I started today.
Can I tell you how I started today? I woke up at 6.30
a.m. with anxiety and then I
looked at all of your Instagrams and compared
followers and then I looked at mine of your Instagrams and compared followers.
And then I looked at mine and I wanted to.
Are you a lunatic?
I wanted to cry.
I wanted to cry.
Okay, well, how about this?
Everybody who's listening right now.
You came in with baggage today. Yeah, he did.
You came in with baggage.
I didn't come in with baggage.
I'm happy for you guys.
What did I say?
Comparison is the something of the.
Thief of joy.
Yeah.
Comparison.
Teddy Roosevelt.
You've been listening to Chrissy Chaos.
I appreciate that.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Can I say something to you? I'm going to get into the th appreciate that comparison is the thief of joy can I say something
to you
I'm going to get
into the throes of this
and these guys
can be witness to this
so over the last
couple of weeks
Joe and I have
talked over the phone
yeah
a bunch
and we've texted
that's right
that is true
we've talked over the phone
I've sent you guys
letters
those pigeons
don't make it to LA
but I will say this Joe to be serious about it we can because those pigeons don't make it to la but i but i will say this joe uh to be
serious about it we can because i want to dig into it sure joe uh had spoken to me about something
personal and private a couple weeks ago when he did when he came inside that girl correct
okay yes jewish girl mind you yeah what kind and then we talked the other day because joe's having um new year's feeling new year feeling
about his boozing yeah which is way better by the way i think your drinking has been nothing
but improved well he's getting it was ever bad he's getting better at it is what he thinks he's
drinking more more and being better at i think well here, here's to clarify. Thank you, by the way, because it's been nice talks.
What I was saying to Andrew was, I go, I've cut back in my times that I've parted, the
frequency I've cut back.
Right.
But the amount, I swing for the fences, because I go, it's like if you had a cheat day on
a diet.
Because you're not doing it as much, so when you're doing it, you're like, let me do it.
Yeah, he's ready. Yeah, so it's like if you had a cheat day for your diet. Because you're not doing it as much. So when you're doing it, you're like, let me do it. Yeah, he's ready.
Yeah, so it's like if you had a cheat day for your diet,
and you were like, okay, I'm going to eat a whole cake in the morning.
I'm going to eat a whole pizza for lunch.
I'm going to eat a whole stromboli for dinner.
That's what Chris does.
I know.
It's called a Tuesday.
After this, I want to talk about intermittent fasting.
You're both doing it.
Wait, you do it too?
I was.
I went off of it for two days and gained all of the weight back.
Well, no.
Really?
Because you're probably getting on the scale with your key chain on.
Can you unlock the entire downtown with that?
You have a key for everybody?
Joey's the superintendent of the Lower East Side.
The superintendent is more followers though
yeah he's got good content though he does yeah but uh but no i i just you know what i was saying
to santino like i was i was now look new year's eve's a big night for anybody yeah yeah and
especially for me i had a bunch of shows then we had a big party at the bar i and i i turned it up
but i was just so hung over on new year's day and i was
just like i don't like feeling like this man and anxiety that's what they call it anxiety and it's
depressing your it wasn't you weren't looking at your follower if the chemicals are still in your
brain it takes a few days to pee it out that's another thing too is i was like i noticed for
days after a drinking event we'll call it, that I don't sleep as well.
I feel like I need days to stay inside.
It's just not good, man.
I'm 45.
I hate that feeling.
I had it every time I drank too much.
Literally, one of the reasons I don't drink anymore is because I was like, I don't ever want that feeling again. Yeah. I don't even want to tempt myself
to be in a position
where I wake up
and I have like,
I feel the shakes
and I feel like,
what did I do
and what did I say
and I can't get back
to my regular self
for three days.
Why don't you do
Sober Buds?
You'll do Dry January.
I'm definitely doing
Dry January.
I know,
but fuck Dry January
because I think that's
cliche.
You think you can go through January without making a phone call?
Without what?
Making a phone call.
No, I'm going to do dry Jan.
You're going to have to call a sponsor a few times.
I'm going to do dry Jan, definitely.
Pimpy's got waters for us.
Pim, can I ask you a question?
I love you, Pimpy.
Do you have more followers than DeRosa?
Here, pass.
He has almost as many.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Wait, wait, wait.
Here, do you want a water?
No.
You want a water?
Yeah.
Did you put these waters on the no brush card?
No, no.
He's got one.
Throw it.
Thanks, man.
Throw it.
Kid's got hands.
You know he's catching that.
No doubt.
But here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
The reason I'm going to do dry January is because I have to make short goals.
If I start going all or nothing and I'm going to go for this many months, forget it.
Have you ever talked to Burr about it?
No.
His perspective is, I mean, do you ever talk to him?
He doesn't drink anymore.
Yeah, no, not really.
I mean, it's kind of interesting.
We sat one time and talked about control and drinking and stuff like that.
He's been off for a while.
Yeah, he's been off pretty much for as long as when he started.
Because he said he wasn't going to, he's like, I'm going'm gonna chill out and he just didn't like it doesn't drink at all
anymore i can't speak for him yeah now he just gets the boosters from just keeps getting the
new booster from what i know he um he doesn't drink almost at all anymore that's cool yeah
likes a cigar here and there but yeah but we spoke about it, he was like,
you know,
I just got tired of feeling that thing.
And I understood.
And I was like,
well,
what I'm starting to do now,
I talked to him about it over the phone,
is to avoid that,
like letting it rip,
where you're like just losing your mind.
It's more moderation and just go,
we are just going to have a drink at dinner
and then that's it.
That's it.
Right.
Yeah, I drink differently.
Yeah, you just drink a little differently.
I drink a little like wine now at dinner
or at the end of the night,
a couple glasses to wind down.
Children in France drink wine.
Wine is not that big of a deal.
How do you know so much about kids in France?
Find that at patreon.com.
No, but you know what I think a big thing is?
And after this, I would like to take a moment and talk to you guys about intermittent fasting.
But what a big thing is, is I think delayed gratification.
I think that idea of delayed gratification of saying, I'm not going to have 10 drinks now, it would gratify me.
Instant gratification is never good.
Usually not good.
But if you do the delayed gratification, what happens is if you have zero you're grat you get that gratification the next morning because you're
up healthy feeling good i would say this this is what i would say about that i i i smoked
cigarettes the way i drink i i i wasn't a pack a day guy i just but when i smoked i smoked and
that was it right and when i quit I quit smoking, I did smoke.
You never smoked?
No.
And I love smoking.
Yeah.
I can't believe I smoked.
I can never do it again.
No, I did it for 10 years.
I love it.
When I quit smoking, I was like, okay, here's the thing.
Like I am tech.
Cause, cause, and I have this with alcohol too.
Smokers like real smokers would be like, you don't really even smoke that.
Like, what are you? And I was like, no, I have to stop because the times that I am doing it are alcohol too smokers like real smokers would be like you don't really even smoke that like what
do you and i was like no i have to stop because the times that i am doing it are having a really
negative effect on me when i'm not doing it alcohol i'm not saying i'm stopping forever but
it's the same thing where i go so the wine at dinner to me i swear to god i started to think
about like i was like i wonder if they they make really high-end grape juices.
Because I feel like I would get out of that what I want from the wine with the meal.
Well, they have de-alkalized everything.
They have de-alkalized all sorts of stuff.
That's more what I want than anything.
There's a lot of spirit stores opening up that have de-alkalized spirits.
You can buy that all the time.
Now, I'll be honest with you, they taste like shit.
Well, then, yeah.
They taste like shit. I've tried it. It's the time. Now, I'll be honest with you. They taste like shit. They taste like shit.
I've tried it.
It's absolutely awful.
See, I don't understand.
To me, it's like part of the flavor is the alcohol.
Sure.
Part of it.
Like O'Connor, who you guys know, who comes with me sometimes and opens.
Yeah.
Does he have more followers than Joe?
Oh, Chris O'Connor.
Because that podcast is doing well.
Yeah, no, it's doing very well.
Which podcast is it?
I know.
Stuff Island.
Stuff Island with Tommy Pope.
Oh, Chris.
Tommy Pope's a handsome.
Yeah, there's Chris O'Connor.
First, I'm going to Sean O'Connor.
That second one looks like his obituary pic.
Can I tell you something?
I know, dude.
You know what's sad is the only two pictures are of him on the internet.
He's Boyz II Kills, right?
Huh?
He's Boyz II Kills.
Yeah, yeah.
Of course, I know him.
He's been in my home.
He's great.
Chris O'Connor.
Is that your home? Yeah. He's a good kid home he's great is that your home
yeah
he's a good kid
he's great
him and Tommy Pulp
so what he does
is he drinks
NA beers
what is it
NA beers
non-alcoholic beers
so when we're on the road
he doesn't want
and I don't really drink
a lot before shows
and he had a little incident
in Boston
where he got a little
too fucked up
before the show
and he brought a dude
backstage
who fell asleep
side stage
of New Year's
your New Year's Eve show
oh yeah
wait wait wait
fell asleep
wait wait
he brought someone
to the side of the stage
Chris stumbled into
the green room
and was like
he showed up
and I knew he'd been
drinking all day
I could feel it
and I was like
dude
I knew right away
and he goes
what
what
and I was like fuck dude, dude, you're fucked.
Wait, he fell asleep?
No, no, no.
Chris, then I turn around and I go, who is this man?
And he goes, he was with us.
He knows Feidelberg.
And I was like, where's Feidelberg?
He's like, he went back to the hotel to go to bed.
I'm sorry, Feidelberg?
Feidelberg.
From the KFC show.
From the KFC Barstool.
Oh, yeah, Barstool. Feidelberg drove to Boston. Hey'm sorry, Feidelberg? Feidelberg from the KFC show. Oh, Feidelberg. Oh yeah, Barstool.
Feidelberg drove to Boston.
Hey guys. Fun guys. What's up Feidelberg?
You're pretty cool for a Jew.
Feidelberg drove to Boston,
went bar hopping,
and then went back to bed. Didn't even come to the
shows. Drove to Boston to go to the
shows with us. Didn't even make it.
Let one of his friends come. Chris shows up with
this guy. This guy is annihilated. He puts a chair You got two shows to do. Yeah. Didn't even make it. Got smashed. Let one of his friends come. Chris shows up with this guy. This guy is annihilated.
Sure.
He puts a chair right-
You got two shows to do.
Yeah.
He puts a chair right down side stage.
I'm not kidding.
Within seconds.
You can hear him from stage.
Wow.
Snoring from stage.
Man, that's a soldier.
So Chris had a tough, Chris had a little bit of a tough, so he drinks NA beers.
So you had to speak to him about that.
We had a little bit of a chat.
You have to.
We had a little bit of a chat. Because you to. We had a little bit of a chat.
Because you can't do that.
Drinks non-alcoholic beers
since three days ago, you mean?
No, no, no.
He does it now backstage
to control the drinking
when he gets there
because this was rare
that he showed up.
He doesn't do this.
But this was this New Year's.
It just happened.
I thought you were saying
like since that happened
he has made a switch
to non-alcoholic.
He's been doing it
for a long time now.
I got you.
But on that day
this incident that happened
this was a separate occasion.
But he drinks N.A.'s.
My problem is
they don't
everyone's like
they do taste
they know they don't taste good.
Here's my problem.
Here's my bigger problem
with the one drink
at dinner thing.
In my opinion
so two things.
Two martinis is nice.
It's a waste
of calories.
One before, one during. Right. It's a waste of calories one before one during
right
it's a waste of calories
to me
I'm like dude
if I'm not getting
into it tonight
I'd rather spend
these calories
on french fries
or something
you know what I mean
right right
so like that's
that's one thing for me
are you a calorie counter
my fitness pal
great app for calorie counting
I just see it as
I just see it as pointless
it's Joe's on Weight Watchers
there's
are you on Atkins
there's one thing deal a meal with Richard Simmons deal a meal I just see it as pointless. Joe's on Weight Watchers. Are you on Atkins? There's nothing fucking good.
He's on Teal & Meal with Richard Simmons.
Teal & Meal?
Please pick up Chrissy Chaos' Calorie Counter, though.
It's available online right now.
It's a good app.
I would enjoy a cranberry and club soda as much as I would enjoy any mixed drink.
What do you got, you period?
But here's the other thing.
That's you.
That's how you drink cranberries.
But let me ask you this.
Here's the other thing.
And here's the difference in my situation versus the three of you.
I have those two martinis at dinner.
I thought you were going to say followers, but go ahead.
I followers house houses, homes, love.
Oh, Joe, you just came in somebody.
Who knows?
Yeah.
I didn't just come in somebody.
I'll be that kid's dad.
What's one more fucking kid?
He only did that, by the way, because she had less followers.
Yeah, I did it to increase my followers.
That's how Joe skims online.
There's a filter on Instagram for under 40,000 followers.
And that's why Joe is like, say it.
Actually, I have no idea how many followers you have.
My friend Brian, who my friend, I've told you about this.
My friend Brian, who is a recovering alcoholic and was a bad alcoholic.
Yeah.
Who is on the pill.
He takes the pill that'll make you get sick if you drink.
Yeah, I've seen this.
He's hard.
You throw up. You throw up.
You throw up immediately.
I forget what it's called, but he is hardcore sober.
Even he said to me, he goes, dude, you're single.
Stop.
Like, this is just, you live a different life.
It'll change on its own organically.
Nah.
But, well, that's, I'm not saying he's right.
You gotta make the change.
We know this.
Powerful change comes from within.
So my point is,
is when you're saying
you have two martinis at dinner,
you know what I mean?
You're a married guy, right?
Yeah, but that's not to say...
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Cut that part out.
Oh, wait.
Wait, sorry.
Is that a...
No, no, no.
He's teasing.
He's kidding.
Okay, sorry.
I thought you said you're married.
Well, I am,
but he doesn't like for me
to talk about it.
You're breaking up?
Yeah.
It's over? He's just not a big fan of podcasts. My point is, is like if you're, well, I am, but he doesn't like for me to talk about him. You're breaking up? Yeah. It's over?
He's just not a big fan of podcasts.
My point is, is like, if you're at dinner with your wife, and you have two martinis,
or two whatevers, you have the wife, and you're there, and you go, okay, honey, let's go.
It's time to go home.
As a bachelor, I have two fucking martinis at dinner.
You catch the tail of that second one, you're like, I mean, fuck it, man.
We're here.
What are we doing?
You know what I mean?
And that's the problem.
But see, where I disagree with him about it is it's not that she's like a being married
in a relationship is like a easier stopping point.
You just have to decide before it.
So if you're out chasing and you're single and you're drinking you just
start leveling it more you just have to slow it and level it well yeah and it's all about balance
too you can say to yourself hey i'm taking one night a week to do that and then you know not
let it bleed i don't know it's bad odds he's gotta have more than one night out there shooting
you have to feel free to go where the nights take you but then you just have to moderate in those
nights yeah and i might be able to do that,
but I got to say, even the one night a week thing,
what you end up doing is,
and again, I'm not making any declarations here,
but my point is, is even the one night a week thing,
you end up swinging.
You know what, dude?
You have kids.
This is actually a great point.
You have kids?
You've texted me.
Two of them are, I believe, mine.
You've texted me and said like,
dude, I went to the Knicks game last night.
I got fucking housed.
Right.
Doesn't matter.
The next morning, 6 a.m., you're up.
You don't have a choice.
My life circumstances make me get out of it.
I can fucking have some kids.
I don't have shit to do tomorrow.
I'll pull the blinds down and order KFC.
I don't give a fuck.
That starts a bad cycle into the week.
But here's my... I might do it tonight.
Why are you pulling the blinds down?
You can still have KFC with the blinds up.
I'm saying you're hungover
and you're just like...
Why don't you have a remote?
You don't have motorized blinds?
I forgot you don't have 100,000 followers.
We got over 100,000.
We got the sponsor.
You guys are talking of going to Bilotto's tonight. I might go get KFC with my blinds down. You got over a hundred thousand. We got the sponsor. I mean, you guys are talking to go to
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So regardless of what
you do, we wish you
well into this journey.
Thanks.
Well, yeah, and I
think...
Let's see how January
goes.
I got Austin next week.
It's going to be a
little tough.
Oh, my God.
When are you in Austin?
The 13th, 14th, 15th, something like that.
Oh, I'll be in Dallas.
For the Vulcan.
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Ginger.
I like gingers.
For the Vulcan.
And then Governor's
the following weekend
if this is out by then.
Wait, I'll tell you.
I'll tell you exactly
this comes up.
I'm going to be in Dallas and Austin.
Aren't they right next to each other?
No, it's like three hours.
San Antonio and Austin are right next to each other.
You should take it down from Dallas to Austin.
I'm going to stay a couple extra days and do like Kill Tony.
Why don't you use it?
You know what you can do?
You can take a JSX down there.
What's a JSX?
From Dallas to Austin.
They have an in-between flight.
A little like that.
Really?
I'll show you.
A little baby plane?
Even that pimp just brought
up this was the last night of caroline's i was there and i hung out i did a tell show i i drank
with jay and then jay split and then chay had a show and i drank with chay and dude i had a
fucking blast and the all entire next day all i did was worry about you were there and i was like
did i say something stupid to caroline hir, did I say something stupid to Caroline Hirsch?
Did I say something stupid to Louis Freda?
Did I look like the guy that had nowhere to go because I stayed for the second show?
You know what I mean?
But did you?
What?
Did you do any of these things?
Are you just constructing this reality?
No, I did none of them.
Well, then you're projecting because you feel guilty.
And that's my point.
Even my worst alcoholic friends are like,
dude, you beat yourself up.
You're too hard on yourself.
Just let yourself have a good time. And maybe all of this would kind of just even itself out.
And then maybe just do more therapy
on working around why you beat yourself up.
Give me a glass.
Open this up for him.
Open this up.
Yeah, and maybe, no, pimp, do not open this up.
I was joking.
But I mean, you know, dude, it's like you're in town, man.
You think all I want to do right after we leave here is go pop a few with you.
I know.
You know what's so funny?
Last night I texted you because I was at a restaurant right near your bar,
and I said, are you at your bar?
I felt bad that I couldn't oblige that.
I just felt bad.
You know, look, look, look,
I want to see what you do.
I don't think you should go.
I don't think you should.
The dry January thing.
I don't think is a thing.
You want to put it to a test tonight.
Let's see.
Look how excited I am.
There's something wrong with me.
You know what I hope happens?
I hope you get hammered and you start tweeting at the nurses again.
Oh God. Oh, God.
No, but you know, it's...
Well, talk...
Chris, talk to us
about intermittent fasting
and how he can use
intermittent drinking.
So, the way that I think that...
What about intermittent drinking?
Yeah, but here's the thing.
Just drink for only eight hours
out of each day.
Here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
I understand alcohol
is a different substance
and by the way...
God, you're dressing
like a lesbian right now. I feel good. I thought megan rapinoe was gonna be on the show so so i
think that i think that too you may think that you have a big by the the bottom line is is if you
think you have an issue then it's an issue yeah we all see it as you're just having fun you're not
like you're not it's not as bad to us but again that's
you people make the joke to me a lot about alcohol they say it to me like and they're like joking but
like sal actually when we and i'm not bringing up old shit but when we battled alcohol on the
podcast you you very vehemently were like you take it too fucking far you get so drunk sometimes
on your birthday that you're swaying around.
You know what I mean?
I most likely was doing that for the show.
But I'm not saying it's good at performing.
I'm sorry.
I'm not saying it's a chance.
When I'm called for, I perform.
Do it.
You know what?
If I didn't discover weed in 2018, I would probably drink more than I do right now.
That's my bigger issue, too, because I hate weed.
It's like I just can't.
What about ketamine?
No way, dude.
It's a new therapy.
You see it on Instagram.
I know everyone does it, but I don't understand.
What about microdosing mushrooms?
Why don't you do that?
That might help you crack it.
I actually wanted to microdose mushrooms because I heard that there was nothing better for your anxiety and whatever.
What about doing ayahuasca, too?
It's not legal yet, so you can't get them.
It is in Denver.
You just go to Colorado.
I'm sorry, Oregon.
I'm sorry.
Microdosing mushrooms is sort of legal,
but it's not.
I'm sorry.
It's not FDA approved yet.
The ketamine thing is approved.
You can do it.
Ketamine is approved?
What about ayahuasca?
Isn't that a horse tranquilizer?
No, on Instagram, I'm getting pop-up ads
for ketamine therapy, like legal.
Like microdosing ketamine.
They have this thing.
It popped up on my Instagram today.
It's a psychedelic healing place in New York City that's legal.
But, dude, ketamine, the ketamine thing, my doctor offered it to me.
FDA approves new nasal spray medication for treatment resistant to depression
available only to certified doctors.
Yeah, like you can do it.
Holy shit.
The ketamine thing, dude, you trip, dude.
But they microdose it. Do you remember ketamine? available only to certified doctors yeah like you can do it holy thing dude you trip dude like but you still remember my doctor said to me he goes do you want to try it because i'm approved
to do it and i go i need you to tell me right now is it like a thing where like i'm gonna like
maybe freak out he goes it's a little intense i was like fuck that i'm not doing but he's there
on the doctor's there to probably have you ever had a bad trip dude yes it doesn't matter who's the doctor stays there though to be yelled at he'll be there yeah he's a bunch of fucking
eyes fall out of his head onto the floor it's used by medical practitioners and veterinarians
as an anesthetic it's sometimes used illegally by people to get high that's if you use a an absurd
amount that's when your name is lewis jay gomez hey hey hey dude i remember ketamine in high school
people would get in k-holes yeah right yeah Yeah, K-hole is what I associate.
And they would get so fucked up.
But that's when you take a lot of it.
Joe, we're going to get you some ketamine.
If anybody out there has ketamine.
I want to try the microdose of the mushrooms, but you can't get them.
I can send them to Oregon.
You can get them.
I think that's illegal.
You can get them.
Yeah?
What's illegal?
I think it's illegal for you to send them.
How are they going to know?
In my green room.
Yeah.
Wait, what?
Yeah, there's mushrooms everywhere.
Yeah, but was he doing them to get fucked up?
Yeah, all my friends did them.
Jazz might have taken a bite of one.
You think he doesn't have access to get you mushrooms?
Come on.
No, but I want the medical microdome.
Have you ever done them?
I love them.
I have them at the house.
I've only done them twice.
Mushrooms twice.
You said one time you had a good time,
second time didn't take.
I couldn't recreate the first time.
That sounds like a 2-0.
One time didn't take,
didn't affect you negatively.
Try it again.
I like them.
I have them at my house right now.
Mushrooms.
Yeah, chocolate mushrooms.
Right.
I have them too.
They're great.
And have you had
a bad experience on them
or it's always pretty good?
But I've did it,
well, I would argue,
I don't like to say bad experience.
I didn't have the experience
that I wanted to have.
Yeah.
But it still does something to you.
But you're microdosing with the chocolates. I'm eating small, I wouldn't say the experience that I wanted to have. Yeah. But it still does something to you. But you're microdosing with the chocolates.
I'm eating small.
The chocolate squares I have.
I wouldn't say microdosing.
I think this is a mixed up term.
I'll take very small amounts of mushrooms through chocolates.
Microdosing is doing it for a period of time in small doses.
But did you ever take actual stems and-
Oh my, that's all I ever did.
Okay, so you're well versed.
But you've taken a full hit
of mushrooms before
with the stem and everything.
High school.
Right.
High school.
That's all I did in high school
was mushrooms.
You're a proper side of mushrooms.
High school and college,
all I did was mushrooms.
But you have to be intentional.
In high school,
you're doing it for fun.
If you do it for a therapy
and you're intentionally
setting your mindset,
it helps.
He can't just do mushrooms now.
He should do them
from a segmented level
where it's...
Because if you just eat a bunch of mushrooms,
you don't know the dosage
that you're really getting, how the strength of them changes.
Yeah, I was nervous about that. I had to be guided through it.
Both times I did it at my house, I had a
really wonderful experience. Ayahuasca, they say, is
the big one. Ayahuasca. Fuck all that.
You don't want to do any of that? No, check this out.
I know somebody... Is it you?
Is someone getting a shot? You, yes, you. You told me this. That the sh that? No. Check this out. I know somebody. Is it you? That's why. You don't like that. Is someone getting a shot?
You.
Yes, you.
You told me this.
That the shaman will come.
Come.
Right.
Yes.
Right.
Would you consider it?
100%.
See, look at this guy.
This guy did ayahuasca once, and that's what happened.
And this guy's got, I mean, he's got more followers.
Wait, what?
Who is this guy?
Pimp, who's Anthony Lafreda?
Oh, that's a disease, bro.
Dude, that guy looks fun.
Yeah, that guy looks like the type of guy
Jasmine probably had sex with once.
Now, is this considered blackface?
Is this illegal?
It's an alien face.
Because he said black alien.
Why did he do that?
He was a white guy before.
I feel like that could be crossing a line.
So, in other words, he's made himself.
Dude, he was Stefano.
He looks like he lived next door to you.
Dude, that guy's definitely on the Patreon.
That person has a dissociative disease, right?
He's, I don't know.
Yeah, I mean, if you're making.
No, no, you never know.
There's a guy that made himself look like Red Skull.
I mean, sure, do anything you want.
But I mean, at that level, it's like,
that's going a little bit like.
No, it's insane.
Yeah.
I mean, I guess God teach his own.
Do your thing. Yeah, do your insane. Yeah. I mean, I guess God teach his own. Do your thing.
Yeah, do your thing.
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Ginger.
I like gingers.
Venezuelan man.
Yeah, this guy from Venezuela.
Oh, Jesus Lord Christ.
Beautiful.
Jesus.
Just, oh my God.
Gorgeous. I mean, what do you do?
Do they let him board early? Do they let that guy board
early? Is he group seven? He comes to the desk and you
have to be like... He's like women, children,
devils. First class, sir
or coach, would you like the
kosher meal?
He's like, sorry, do you guys have oat milk? I really
don't.
I mean, that person is signing up for dealing with that 24-7
every second of the day.
You walk into a deli, they look at you.
You walk out of the deli, they look at you.
You get into a cab, they look at you.
You get to work, they look at you.
You get to the airport, they look at you.
You sit next to somebody, they look at you.
He's literally making it so that every person that passes him has to look at him and he has to explain himself over and over and over it's a form
of torture why would you do that to yourself insecurity and narcissism that's what it is right
right that's the core of all of that and that's the core of your alcoholism joe
probably you're not an alcoholic how do you find a partner there also you know how like you
decorate your living room right yeah you get a couch you move into a new place you get and it's
what you feel right then and there eventually i don't care who you are two years five years
six years ten years fifteen years you're gonna go oh i don't like this shit anymore i don't this is
not some i didn't notice it but i don't like any of this. This isn't me. What is he going to do the day that he's sitting there
and he looks in the mirror and he's like,
I don't know if I want to do this anymore.
This leads to a conversation about people being trans.
Let's talk about it.
Scroll up to that first guy.
What options are you leaving yourself then
yeah i mean would would would chipotle hi am no no uh pinto or black
like where is he working it's just like that's the thing he has to work at a place
that does that to people yeah that's the only place that's what i was gonna say like
like there will be one of these one of these
guys will probably at some point be highlighted on 2020 or something where they're saying can't
commit a crime i'm discriminated against because i chose this look and i should be able to do this
and it's like dude well they should be able to get any job doesn't mean you're going to
you should be able to be up for i'm saying if you've got a job where you've got
a counter that you serve people from or you have person interaction whatever and it's like dude i
can't have the red skull you know but like there's you know you know what though there's i have i
have i'm changing my perspective i bet you anybody that goes to that great length they have some
other form of income that they do knowingly that they don't need.
That's true too.
You know what I mean?
I bet you they know.
I don't know about that.
Pimpy, he's not.
I bet you they know
they don't need the money
or they don't give a shit about jobs.
So it doesn't,
they're not,
this guy doesn't give a fuck.
Like that guy I could get,
that guy I could put behind my bar
with the spikes in his head.
Oh yeah, okay, let's ask.
You're an employer.
Yeah. That's because you're in the Lower East Side. That's the only place you could do that. But I mean, at with the spikes in his head. Oh, yeah. Okay, let's ask. You're an employer. Yeah.
That's because you're in the Lower East Side.
That's the only place you can do that.
But I mean, at least the spikes.
I'm like, you still look like a human being.
You throw him in a bar in Murray Hill?
If that guy...
That bar's going out of business.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
But yeah, red skull.
I can't put a red skull behind the bar.
Although you can let frat guys throw rings on it or something.
You never...
Let me say this.
Would you hire someone at your bar to serve food that had one arm?
Just like a nub?
Yeah, of course.
But doesn't think it grosses the customers out?
No.
What a bad person.
I don't know.
Do they get a nub on a sandwich?
Can you imagine a place that he runs?
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
You know that sign that's like tolerance, everyone accepted?
He's got the list of who can come in and who's not allowed to come in.
No, let me ask you for real.
As a bar owner, the first guy, the Red Skull guy,
if he said, I had bartending experience for 12 years,
I traveled the world, I got surgery, I'm looking for a gig,
will you hire him?
Are you afraid it's going to deter customers?
Is that why?
I would have to pause on that.
Look at me right here.
Look at me right here look just look at me yeah uh let's say i'm looking for
uh this person said even better a nanny i get a resume across my desk it's impeccable right okay
yeah it's 20 years of experience accolades 10 references of people that are high up in the
food chain this person is flawless maybe she even wrote a book on shit.
You'll never get a better resume.
Ding dong.
What do you do?
What do you do?
She's got honors from Columbia.
She's honors from Columbia.
She's written a book on being a nanny.
I got it already.
We have dogs, unfortunately,
so this is going to work out.
But what do you do there? She's a cat.
What do you do when at the door
she's out humming a humming?
What do you do?
What do you do?
That's a he, by the way.
I thought it was a woman.
It can be whatever it wants to be.
Oh, it's a man.
It's a biological male.
Yeah, I mean, look, you would have to...
No lettuce, please.
I'm sorry.
You would have to pause for a moment
and take stock in the fact that it might.
Listen, I got the perfect guy.
This guy's my brother-in-law.
He's never cheated on a woman in his life.
He has a six-figure salary.
The guy is physically fit.
He cares about things.
He's well-read.
You're going to love him.
Just trust me on this.
I've got to say, at least. least ignore the hole in his head here yeah at least he just whatever he did looks like an actual like legitimate physical deformity
oh yeah poor guy you know what i mean no this no no dude this is saline injections read above
you know what saline is he's made that donut in his head no no i know he has i'm saying he looks
like a guy that just had an unfortunate birth defect of some kind.
No, no.
You'd figure it out.
Once you saw the spikes, you'd figure it out.
The cat lady, you're like, come on.
But what are you supposed to do?
You can't not think about like customers might be legitimately freaked out.
But this is kind of hot.
This is ropes in your back.
It's hot.
That's so gross.
You could swing them from the ceiling of your bar, Joe.
Yeah.
Don't you have a tract up there?
Yeah, I see those people put the hook in and swing.
Oh, God.
I can't take the stretching of the skin.
I have nothing to do with it.
It makes me nauseous.
I hate it.
Well, let me tell you something.
I'd like you to branch out and try to hire someone outside of the normal realm at your
bar that looks unique.
I think you should be less discriminatory towards these kind of things.
Okay.
I'm glad you think I should do that.
Because if you guys are going to Joey Rose's,
I want people to go see someone that doesn't look like you.
I thought you were going to say, you'll be discriminated against.
You'll be discriminated against.
You've been down to Joey Rose's yet?
There's a bartender that's an avatar.
Have you seen him?
That's so funny.
Like this guy
standing at my bar
and me going,
I reserve the right
to refuse service
to anybody.
Like the guy
had fallen down.
Get out of my bar.
No snake men allowed.
It's like Star Wars
where they won't
serve the droids.
I mean,
it's just fucking crazy.
I do,
but I do think though,
like this,
that what you said of the whole like the furniture changing that anxiety that you're talking about is why i
don't have tattoos oh you don't have a single one not one and i and i still refuse to get one even
though over the years i've gone maybe i'm i'm 40 maybe you know like oh maybe a little bit
i to this day view it the exact same way where I go. I've never liked anything enough to keep it forever.
And even still,
if I was like,
no,
this means a lot to me.
I was like,
I'll reserve it in another way.
I understand.
I could never do it.
Like,
no offense.
Once you get one,
you forget it's even on you.
But like,
you forget it's even on you though.
But you don't know,
but no,
but he sees it in the mirror sometimes and he doesn't like them.
There's ones that you know you don't like.
Bro,
I have Jaden Smith on both of my thighs.
Jaden Smith.
15 years old and 21 years old.
Why?
Accurate portraits of him on my thighs.
I had Willow.
I had Willow on the back of my legs.
I know.
No, I had two covered and altered that I didn't like.
Yeah.
All the other ones, no, I'm pretty, you know, I like them.
Can I tell you the ones that I don't like?
I mean, I'd rather you didn't.
What good comes of that?
Just honesty and friendship.
What good comes of that?
Lift up that sleeve
so I can see what that one is.
I got a bad one.
Five, six, seven, eight?
No, just five, six, seven.
Where's eight?
There, it's not.
It's not like a five, six, seven, eight.
It's from a Pixie song
about man, the devil, and God.
This is why people get tattoos.
Right.
Yeah, to tell this annoying story over and over again.
But isn't it so funny that people are like, I didn't get the tattoo to tell you.
It's like, but a little bit, yeah.
In the same way that this guy is like, I didn't fucking pierce my skull to explain to you why I do it.
It's like, I know, but because you live in a world with other people, someone's going to fucking ask you.
That's why I regret my tattoos
because people always ask me about them.
Yours are absurdly stupid.
Stupid.
I have my neighbor tattooed on my arm
across on my back
like I'm fighting in the Crusades
and scripture on my forearm.
You have your neighbor?
Yeah.
My neighborhood on my left arm.
Oh, your neighborhood.
It's brutal.
And the year I was born, 1984.
Oh, my God. Me and Joe have numbers tattooed i would say this
about tattoo i don't mind talking about them when i see somebody that has a tattoo that i like i
admire it sure but it what gets annoying is people ask the same exact question every time what is it
what does that mean you're like does do you really even give a shit what it
means like why do you care what it means what's the context if if a friend asks you what does
that mean you're they're genuinely curious sure it's very rarely a friend it's almost
always a stranger right and it becomes like the thing with comics where somebody goes
dude if you came yeah tell me a joke or like I know a guy that you would think is a riot.
It just becomes so repetitive
and you're like,
does every person think
that this is the way
to breach this subject right now?
Yeah,
but haven't you ever traveled the country?
Most people kind of think down the same line.
So yeah,
that,
yes.
Well,
that's why.
What's the most common thing?
As someone who is,
you are,
you are famous in a way where I'm'm sure because you've been in the tv
eye of these of americans for a long time as as that person on that show which is not always 100
you people whether people know that or not you have a thing that people say to you or do with you
that gets tiring and old i'm sure people do a thing in public fans. You know what I'm talking about? So many things.
But I'm saying like, that's a tattoo.
It's like, yes, everybody kind of has a thing.
Right.
But it doesn't mean it's not annoying.
Sure, but fucking then move where people don't live.
Yes.
If you want to never be annoyed again.
You bought the ticket.
You bought the ticket.
Take the ride.
I partially agree. Take the ride. I partially agree.
Take the ride.
I'm not saying,
uh, uh, uh,
but it'd be like,
what if you got the same question
over and over
about being a ginger?
I do.
Yes, I do.
Doesn't it get annoying after a while?
Yeah, but it's
out of sight, out of mind.
It's like,
it's the same way
when somebody goes,
when somebody yells at me
on the street.
Like a dog.
Oh, gay Van Gogh.
Gay Van Gogh, Gay Van Gogh.
Yeah.
And honestly, it's out of sight, out of mind.
It's like, because it exists.
You can't.
Let me be clear.
I am not saying I won't talk to the person when they ask it,
or I'm not a dick about it.
I'm just saying, I'm responding to you saying,
oh, people go, I didn't get it for you.
And you're like, well, you did.
It's like, well, no, you didn't.
But that does come with the territory. I'm meeting you halfway. I'm saying I accept it. I for you and you're like well you did it's like well no you didn't but that
does come with the territory i'm meeting you halfway i'm saying i accepted it comes to the
territory you're saying but i also didn't get it so people would go what is that like i got it
because i was like you know some of the beauty of people doing that thing that you find annoying is
it gives us something to talk shit about and laugh about sure that's half of the other fun of it is
like you won't believe what this moron said to me i I got such a bad one here. Let me see. The salamander one?
Holy shit.
Is that fucking awful?
I need some moisturizer.
But that is bad.
It's my first one ever.
Tribal on your ankle?
When I turned 18, I got it.
But you almost never see a tribal on your ankle.
What was your group of friends like?
It took forever, too.
There was some nice kids.
Did they do that, too?
My dad took me.
So my dad had just gotten a tattoo
because he was turning like 50 or whatever.
And he got a tattoo. And he was like 50 or whatever yeah and he got a
tattoo and and he was like i got one and it was illegal in new york until you were 18 so i turned
18 and oh we went to jersey i mean it was illegal and i just went and i didn't see anything i liked
and i was gonna leave i think i've told you this before and i'll tell you something right now
tattoo parlors today parlors parlor parl. Parlors today they're very amenable
and kind.
When it wasn't like
legal everywhere
they were
this was the reputation
they were dicks.
Tattoo artists were real dicks.
I don't know if you remember this.
No, no I do.
Yes.
Absolutely.
The most arrogant
they were
still dicks.
Huh?
You go to places
where they still are dicks.
No, I try to see places
out where they're not.
I used to have a bit
about this in my ass.
It was like a thing
like the more arrogant they were
like
maybe you thought
they were a better artist
or something like that
like the level of arrogance
matched the level of their
skill set
that's what it was
anyway I was about to leave
and the guy was like
I didn't
I was like I'm sorry
I don't know
I don't see anything I like
and he was like
come on
you're not gonna get anything
and he was like
and then I wanted to
my dad took me
so I wanted to get something
to, you know, and I was like, I don't know.
Thank God I didn't do this.
I said, I don't know, man.
And I just said, maybe the Daffy Duck.
Oh my God.
I like Daffy Duck.
He's my favorite cartoon duck.
I know, but still to this day?
To this day.
Really?
Why is he your favorite?
Is he better than Goofy?
Goofy is.
Goofy's not a duck.
Goofy stinks.
Oh, your favorite, I think you said favorite cartoon character. That's what I thought you said. Cartoon duck is what I said. Goofy's your favorite? Like a better than Goofy? Goofy is. Goofy's not a duck. Goofy stinks. Oh, your favorite. I think you said favorite cartoon character.
That's what I thought you said.
Cartoon duck is what I said.
Goofy's your favorite?
Out of the Disney's?
No, Daffy's.
Daffy's Warner Brothers.
Daffy's Bugs Bunny.
Oh, right, right, right.
Sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Are you out of your fucking mind
fucking up Disney and Warner Brothers?
Yeah.
Donald's way better than Goofy.
My favorite cartoon character is Moana.
Goofy's a dog, right?
Goofy's a dog.
Goofy's a dog. Goofy really stinks. You don't like Go. Goofy's a dog, right? Goofy's a dog. Goofy's a dog.
Goofy really stinks.
You don't like Goofy?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Time out.
Why?
He just stinks.
Wait, why?
There's just nothing to him.
What are you talking about?
He's lovable.
He's affable.
He is goofy and fun.
Compared to Donald, what are we even talking about?
Compared to Scrooge McDuck, what are we talking about here?
First of all, you're so far away from Scrooge McDuck.
Launch padded McQuack.
Yeah.
No, Goofy's great.
He also has a range of emotions
that you don't really get
to see that much.
And look at who he gets to clip.
That chick.
She's not bad.
That's Goofy?
I don't know.
Oh, her name's Roxanne.
Roxanne, Roxanne.
Yeah.
I think you're wrong about Goofy.
I think you're just,
you're not an awesome.
Goofy's awesome.
I've never found,
even as a kid,
I never found Goofy.
I love them.
Well, that's why you're depressed. Yeah, you were mofy. I think you're just, you're not an awesome guy. I've never found, even as a kid, I never found Goofy. I love them. Well, that's why
you're depressed.
Yeah, you were mopey.
No, he just is all,
I don't know,
I just never was into it.
That's what I've been
trying to wear.
Originally designed
as a rumpled fedora,
I never understood
what that hat was
because when I was a kid,
it looked like a hair tie.
I thought that was
like a hair tie
or a chef's bun.
Like he's putting his hair up to something.
The only person worse than Goofy is
Mickey Mouse.
What? Mickey Mouse is the only person worse
than Goofy.
What do you not like about the guy?
Mickey stinks.
Did you ever see Tugboat Willie?
That's when he was real.
You liked him when he was racist?
Yeah.
Look at him in blackface.
How can you not like this guy?
Every cartoon was racist.
I started watching Old Popeyes.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Crazy racist.
So racist.
I swear to God, it was crazy.
And all these old cartoons, anything before like 1940 or whatever?
It is so crazy. like before like 1940 or whatever it is so crazy
before like 2007 the fact that disney is like lead modern disney is leading the woke charge
with like the like diversity it is so insane to me like they are making up for such lost time
right now well they don't have a choice.
Walt Disney was like a known Nazi. They don't even have a
choice anymore. You don't know this?
I don't think I do. He was literally supported
the Nazi party.
There's proof of it online.
Proof of it.
Why aren't they canceling him?
Because he's dead.
He's not technically dead. He's dead. Yeah, but his head's on ice.
He's not technically dead.
He's frozen.
Walt Disney was an anti-Semite.
Disney leading the charge?
Well, there's the famous Three Little Pigs
in which the wolf was portrayed as a Jewish peddler.
Yeah, that was my grandfather's
the one that gave him that idea.
But you know what I mean?
Welcome Nazi director
Lenny Reifenstahl
to this studio as well.
Dude, they're giving...
You know, Kanye's gonna do
a Disney movie.
Shecky Beagle.
Disney is like
righteous about it.
They're the worst.
Which is insane.
It's literally the equivalent
if R. Kelly came out of jail
and started being like,
now the 15-year-old thing is wrong,
and I'm going to put a stop to it.
I'm going to show other people.
It's like, buddy, just stop doing it and shut the fuck up.
You made your bed.
Go away.
We're going to look the other way.
By the way, and I know you guys already know this,
but Bill Cosby is touring.
You know, he has a tour scheduled.
So if Cosby goes on stage and specifically does material about,
I can't stand when people put pills in the drinks,
you'd be like, dude, come on.
No, you'd think it's funny.
You'd think it's very funny.
It is funny.
My point is, is Disney doesn't have to go,
we made mistakes, so now we're going to be the arbiters.
So then what would they do?
Just continue on the path?
Just be better and don't be preaching.
I would say, did they recently get into some trouble with gay rights?
This is R. Kelly's lyrics.
I admit I fuck with the ladies.
He sings at one point.
That's both older and young ladies, but tell me how they call a pedophile because of that shit.
Crazy.
You may have your opinions, a ton of your opinions, but really, am I supposed to go to jail, lose my career because of your opinion?
This is out of his mouth?
Yeah, it's his new song.
It's a song?
Yeah.
Is he releasing shit from jail?
It's a 19-minute song. Shut up. Let's go tonight. Joe's his new song. It's a song? Yeah. Is he releasing shit for a new song? Joe's going to get a tattoo on him.
Shut up.
Let's go tonight.
Joe's getting these lyrics
at his next night.
Dude, I'm going to get
your birthday tattooed on me.
I'm not perfect.
I'm not perfect.
The next line just goes,
I'm not perfect.
I never said I was.
What's the definition of a cult?
What's the definition of a sex slave?
Go to the dictionary.
Look it up.
Let me know.
I'll be here waiting.
He will. I mean, he's in prison. Yeah, he's in prison for the rest of his life. By the way definition of a sex slave? Go to the dictionary. Look it up. Let me know. I'll be here waiting. He will.
I mean, he's in prison.
Yeah, he's in prison for the rest of his life.
By the way, the guy can write a melody, can't he?
I mean, none of this is musical at all.
No.
He's just ranting.
You saw the surviving thing, right?
Oh, yeah, dude.
It was wild.
He's on stage literally pulling him out.
Yeah, picking him.
Who wants to come with Robert?
And then he goes, he said, do you have your passport?
Did you get your shots?
Would you like to come with Robert to America?
And then people are like, me, me.
And he's pulling little girls out of the audience.
And you didn't see it?
And their parents were like, he called her.
We let her go on stage.
She went, and we never saw her again.
And they're gone.
Well, before, like, this is in 2014.
Before any of this even came out about
him um somebody i know knew r kelly and said that r kelly would have parties in his mansion in
chicago and what he would do these he was like on he was like this is as true as true can be
he would come out wearing like a crown and a huge adult diaper. Swear to God. And come out and he would have for like hours, like how people have cockfights.
He would have midgets.
I'm on the edge of my seat.
I swear to God.
He would have midgets come out and fist fight.
Shut up.
I swear to Christ.
He would have them fist fight each other.
All the while he would be shitting and pissing in this diaper.
I swear to God.
Shitting and pissing in this diaper.
Hysterical crying. They made his diaper. Hysterical crying.
I couldn't have made it up.
Hysterical crying.
No, this was totally by a reliable author.
Because they said he's completely out of his mind.
No.
That can't be real.
Listen to what you just said.
I was listening to the man tell this man.
And other people were at the party?
A lot of people were at this party.
He was just shitting and pissing in a diaper, crying.
Well, little people fist fight. And then he had a recording studio. He had a recording studio in his basement. He was just shitting and pissing in a diaper, crying while little people fist fight.
And then he had a recording studio.
He had a recording studio in his basement.
He would go record.
He said, 50% of what this man knows,
and this guy's a known guy,
50% of what he knows, R. Kelly's albums,
he said 100%, 100% he was there.
I Believe I Can Fly was recorded by R. Kelly
with a full diaper of shit and piss.
No.
I swear to God.
No, no.
I swear to God.
No way.
With a full diaper.
Why would he do that?
That's what the source told me.
But why?
He had a full diaper of shit and piss
because this is a thing that he would do
because he's psychotic.
The thing is with R. Kelly,
he's a psych, like a lunatic.
He's a lunatic.
Like a mentally unstable man.
So he would shit and piss in a diaper
and record his
first thing I thought of though.
You know how people like
read pitbulls to fight?
If he had like a little people breeding ground.
It's the image of them busting
a little people breeding ground in his basement.
Okay, look. Enough with this.
I love you guys. Love you.
Thank you. We've got to go.
On that? Yes, we do
have to go. And Joe
is ready to go. He's got to...
Joe's got to go. You can just
tell you're ready to lean forward and get out of here.
And I want to thank you. I had a nice time.
I just have to pee. Are you going to come to Bolanos
with us? Yeah, he is. Yes. Alright.
Do me a favor. Just throw on a diaper and do it right here.
I know.
I kind of want to.
Thank you, boys.
I love you all.
Love you.
Never mind.
Love you, buddy.
Bye.
I love you.
Bye.
In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.
You're that creature in the ginger beard.
Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Gingers are beautiful.
You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.
Gingers are hell no.
This whiskey is excellent.
Ginger.
I like gingers.