Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Cody Ko
Episode Date: May 29, 2020Santino sits down with Cody Ko (Tiny Meat Gang) to chat about smoking pot with deaf parents, Cody's new PG-13 OnlyFans site, making apps in silicon valley and to not eat mussels while traveling. TICKE...TS NOW ON SALE FOR THE WILBUR THEATER IN BOSTON!!! https://thewilbur.com/artist/andrew-santino/ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! RAYCON - Get the best earbuds at half the cost of overpriced headphone companies go to https://buyraycon.com/whiskey for 15% off!!! SHADY RAYS - Get amazing polarized sunglasses at a great price and if they get damaged or lost they'll replace for FREE go to https://shadyrays.com and enter promo code WHISKEY for 50% off two or more pairs 😎 For all things CHEETO: http://www.andrewsantino.com/ Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast Buy Merch: https://shop-andrew-santino.myshopify.com Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ & https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ EDITING AND PRODUCTION DESIGN BY THE AMAZING WHISKEY GINGER TEAM JENNA SUNDE https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday/ JOE FARIA https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria Intro Music by Rocom: https://www.youtube.com/user/RocomTelevision Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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What up, Whiskey Ginger fans?
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to all the things you need to know.
This week's guest is Cody Ko.
This dude is very, very funny, extremely talented.
He's all over the interwebs.
And a great show called The Real House Bros of Simi Valley
is extremely funny with Jimmy Tetreault,
who is very funny.
They create a very hilarious show about the bro atmosphere of a very particular part of
Southern California. I'm excited to bring this to you kids. Enough from me rambling on. Enjoy
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger.
My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth.
I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again.
Today, it's Cody Cole.
What up, dude?
What's up, man?
Thank you so much for having me.
I appreciate it.
I was kidding. I was kidding, by the way. You look trim. No, you said Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it. Dude, thanks for doing this.
I was kidding.
I was kidding, by the way.
You look trim.
No, you said before we started the show, Cody said I was fat.
And that's fine, dude.
That's how you feel.
I said you look like a muffin man, like a pastry boy.
Do you know the muffin man?
The muffin man?
The muffin man?
I know the mustache man.
Yeah, you look good with your little stache.
That's for sure.
You like it?
It's funny because you have like a boyish face, but it makes you look a little bit more manly.
That's what I'm trying to do.
I'm trying to age myself up a little bit.
I'm almost 30.
I feel like I got to look the part.
How old do I look?
You're not going to hurt my feelings.
48.
Wow.
No, 36.
That's it for the show. That's the rest of the show. Thanks a lot, guys. Thanks for having me, 36. That's it for the show.
That's the rest of the show.
Thanks a lot, guys.
Thanks for having me, man.
I appreciate it.
Thanks a lot, brother.
Take care, dude.
No, I'm...
Appreciate it.
Yeah, I'm 36.
I'm 36.
I'm 36 and I'm a broken man.
I'm a dad.
I feel like a dad.
I feel like I'm in dad mode.
I'm not a dad yet,
but this is a dad country club hat.
I was gonna say the apparel,
the look right now,
the aesthetic is pretty bad.
This is a shitty dad shirt.
I'm wearing, you know,
shorts and flip flops
because it's hot out.
It's like you're about to go
work in your shop.
I'm going to go work in the shed.
I'm going to go to the shed
and grab a couple of tools.
Yeah, some tools,
do some work around the house.
And do that thing
where I yell into the house
to my wife to bring me something.
She inevitably will bring
the wrong thing
and I'll get mad
and yell at her.
No, I said a Phillips head.
I said a Phillips head.
God.
The Allen key.
The Allen key.
The Allen, Allen's keys.
Allen's car keys.
Uncle Allen.
Did you have a dad dad like that?
Did you have a very like,
a very like papa papa,
like where he's like a work, works with his hands and all that stuff?
No, not at all.
Well, no.
So my dad is like he's like what's the word?
It's like a jack-of-all-trades sort of but like he was an artist and then he was a graphic designer and then he was like an entrepreneur and then he switched to doing Ironmans and triathlons and ultra marathons and so he
but not for money he just does that
just for fun but I'm saying he's done a lot
of shit like that he was never
you know like the
work on the house during
the weekends type dude he was always like
building bikes to break world
records and crazy shit like that
did he break records?
has your father broken records? Seriously?
He broke three world records, I think.
The first one was
furthest distance traveled
by human power in 24 hours.
So he designed a recumbent bike,
which is like a sit-down bike, with a shell
over top of it, and he rode
it around a track for 24 hours straight.
So he traveled the most
amount of miles that
anyone's traveled just by their own power of their own body no motor no nothing how many miles how
many miles was it i should know that i don't know it i forget yeah i know a good son i've i should
know that your dad broke a fucking world record and then he did it on water and i don't know that
one either but i should what a either. What a shitty kid.
What a shitty kid.
I know, Dad.
I'm sorry if you're watching this.
I'm going to go to your Wikipedia after.
He's not.
I am sorry.
He checked out.
What's your dad's name?
What's his name?
Greg.
Hey, Greg.
Dear Greg, if you're watching this, your son is a nice kid, but obviously a bad son.
And we know that. And if you ever need to talk to me, come on, Whiskey Ginger.
We'll hash all that stuff out.
You got athleticism from your father because you were an athlete right what was it water polo no diving i wasn't cool enough for water polo are you kidding me you look you do
have the dna for you have the physical look for water polo you got smooth skin you're a good
looking guy every guy that plays water polo is good looking there's no right to play water polo
i know why what is that all the hottest dudes in fucking cal. There's no ugly guys that play water polo. I know. Why? What is that?
All the hottest dudes in fucking Calgary,
where I'm from,
they were all water polo.
Who plays water polo in Calgary?
I'll give you what I think it is.
The best,
it's a rich sport.
Water polo is a rich guy sport because it's not that you have to be rich to play it.
It's that it only takes place in rich communities.
So you got to have a pool,
first of all. So it's got to be in warm climate in rich communities. So you got to have a pool, first of all.
So it's got to be in warm climate.
And rich communities are the only schools that are allowed to have that kind of access to also having a pool, whether it's indoor or outdoor.
Hence, Southern California, any warm weather place or northeast, northwest, but very big money, right?
They're not putting pools in fucking public schools in bad neighborhoods.
So you got gotta have money.
People that usually come from money usually
want to sleep with someone else who's hot.
Hot guy has money, you know,
or ugly guy has money, gets with hot
girl, makes a good looking kid, water
polo. Mmm. And it's, yeah,
and it's kids who, like, can't fight
in real life, so they fight underwater
with their legs. With their legs,
they kick, they kick each other.
I was astonished to learn that you can kick each other in the nuts.
That's totally legal.
Yeah.
You can't pull on the penis, which is my first move.
I would tug on it like a toilet chain, you know, like the old toilet chain.
I'd pull on a penis underwater.
How do you like that?
Jerk a guy off in the middle of the...
How's that throw off your game, huh?
You like that?
That's right, we're winning.
Yeah, we're beating you guys good.
Santino, you can't just jerk off the competition in the water.
Oh, really, coach?
Because we're winning 6-0.
So I think I know what I'm doing.
Did we win, coach?
Yeah.
Did we win?
Take a laugh.
God damn it, we did.
You're right.
That's going to be my 30 for 30, my last dance.
My last swim up uh
documentary is gonna be about me it's like look was he tough to play with yeah he would jerk off
the competition and he wouldn't stop until they came and that's what made him a true competitor
and show me like after hours it's it's it's nighttime i'm still jerking off some guy and
i'm like no i'm not letting this go until it's over you know how you don't wait you know how
michael jordan used to like,
like anytime someone was like trash talk to him a little bit,
it was like big mistake.
That's when he would turn on and win the fucking thing.
I'm just picturing one of the other guys being like,
I bet you can't make me cum.
Shouldn't have said that.
Shouldn't have said that.
He made me cum harder than anyone's ever made me cum.
They cut back to me in the chair going,
me drinking like this like a
period just being like yeah he said i uh could make him come and uh we all remember how that went
big mistake shouldn't have said that cut to him cut to him filling the pool with cum he's
by the way if your parents were watching i'm sure they're not sticking around anymore for
this episode uh probably not it's fine yo you, you were a competitive diver and you dove in college?
Yep.
What do we call it? Do we call it university or college up in Canada?
It's university in Canada.
Why?
But I went to an American school, so college.
I know. I know. Yeah, I know that. But why do they call it university up there? They do that
in Europe too. I don't get that.
Yeah, it's uni. I don't know. I have no idea.
College is a term that's reserved for like community college in Canada.
Oh, so that's less than in Canada.
Yeah.
It's like the starter school or whatever.
That's very diminutive.
I like that.
No, you're a college boy.
You went to Duke, right?
Mm-hmm.
You're a Duke boy.
Yep.
I went to Duke.
You look like a Duke kid, don't you?
So what, is it water polo or is it a Duke boy?
Just like look like a shitty white dude?
It's both.
It's both.
It's both.
Yeah.
I didn't say shitty.
I complimented your looks at the beginning of this.
I said you were a good looking guy.
Duke, does Duke have a lot of ugly people?
No.
Did you see a lot of ugly, was there anybody like me on campus?
Did you see a bright orange headed see-through kid on campus walking around?
No, you didn't, did you?
So you know what I'm saying, don't you?
No, there was a couple.
No, you know what?
Now that you mention it, yeah.
Nobody.
Or no, there was no Uggos.
No, no Uggos.
That's on the Duke application form.
It says, remember, dude, no Uggos.
Are you ugly?
And you have to check it. Oh, damn it, I'm ugly. I can't. Damn, I'm ugly. There was actually a rumor. Are you ugly? And you have to check it.
Oh, damn it. I'm ugly.
I can't.
Damn, I'm ugly.
There was a rumor that I went to Arizona State and people said, you have to send in your
photo when you apply.
And they were like, and they judge you based on your photo.
And that's how you get in, which is obviously a bullshit.
But I was like, what committee would be judging?
Yeah, because it's a bunch of hot chicks from Southern California go there that are morons.
Every dumb chick from Southern California
goes right to ASU because they can't get into USC.
They definitely can't get into UCLA.
They can't get into Pepperdine.
They can't get into UCSD.
UCSB they can't even get into.
And then if they really are desperate,
they can't get into like UC Bakersfield or something,
then they trickle down to ASU with me.
And we got those chicks.
We got the chicks that were...
And as far as dudes goes, a lot of dumb guys, a lot of dumb guys.
But I feel like the girls were exponentially dumber because it was just so they could sit
by the pool and not really go to school.
Dudes went there to party.
And is that true?
What were classes like?
Was it hard ever?
What was your major?
Every class, journalism and English,
every classroom had a retractable roof
so you could get some sun while you were chilling in econ.
Yeah, dude.
And you'd get sunscreen on the way in, me.
No, every class was like any other school.
It was just many people took took asu as opportunity to not
really go to school like i graduated in four years many of my friends if not all of them didn't
graduate at all some of the dude i have i have a buddy that went to school for like nine years i
don't even i don't he might still be doing it i have no idea he went to like five community colleges
around the way.
He didn't care.
He was just hustling, taking his time.
But I didn't have the luxury.
I didn't come from enough money where it was like,
my mommy and daddy would have paid for so many years.
That wasn't going to happen for me.
So I had to be in and out.
I was like, I can't do this.
And also, the partying gets a little old by the end of your senior year.
You're like, I want to go live a human life.
Like, I never understood guys that want to party six years of college.
You're like, are you okay?
You don't have, you didn't get it done?
Because it's like a, it's a very intense form of partying.
It's like, it's like partying is the main thing for a lot of people that go to college.
Yeah.
I mean, senior year, yeah, I was like, it was nonstop.
You were ready to get out.
Yeah, for sure.
And then I got out.
I moved to the Bay Area, and I lived alone.
None of my friends moved to the West Coast.
Everyone, like Duke back then was like a pipeline into New York.
Everyone went to work in finance in new york i was the only one that went to work in tech on the on the west coast i
had no friends i lived in palo alto as a 22 year old by myself i was so fucking lonely and so after
two years of that i was like fuck it i gotta i gotta party again it just came like the craving
came back so i quit my friend and i traveled we did you know we did like the backpacker thing in southeast asia and we lived in australia for
like six months or something like that and it was just like we were we were working on like
software projects and stuff like that but honestly mostly just partied around the world for a little
while drugs or just drinking just drinking for the most. We did some whippets in, in,
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in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in better term, you become fully, you become mentally handicapped.
You really do.
Yeah, I mean, you're not there for.
You put your brain in a, there's no oxygen in your brain.
Yeah, you're just, you're like literally just giving, you're starving your brain of oxygen to the point where like you're high for 30 seconds.
And then you come back to life and you're like, that was that was weird as fuck let's do it again for some reason it's like yeah the most
addicting thing ever it's really weird yeah and it's not it's not even that fun it's not that good
it's fun it's fun it's fun but it's not fun like other drugs are fun yeah like it's not it's not
mushrooms fun it's not it's you know like d have you ever done dmt i sound like joe rogan
you ever done dmt uh mushroom coffee dmt no never done it i've dmt is awesome i will say it's super
i know it's like very rogan-esque but it did actually and they it i i saw a being a thing
that said uh two things kill your family and get cody co on the pod and boom boom did him did him
no dude i'm not good how recent was the family killing is this a
six or seven weeks ago but they're never gonna find out okay uh what no i had kind of like i had
a spiritual experience but not really religious but it was more eye-opening as far as like um
uh me becoming more comfortable with my position in life, so to speak. All the internal struggles that you're having as far as like,
I'm trying to make a baby right now, touring, comedy,
where my career is shifting, all the anxieties that sit right below the surface
that kind of stew whether or not you acknowledge them.
You kind of have like a moment of flashbang boom when you're on it
of a little bit of clarity over like what's
important and what's not whether or not it's uh coherent to you it's um it's pretty wild dude i
don't know how to explain it it's something it's really for you do you know what i mean like it's
really like a you it's a you feeling it's a you drug it's not a it's not a party drug it's not
like uh i'm not at the middle of like a...
You can't go to somebody's house party and do DMT and try to funk.
No DMT at ASU?
At the ASU frat parties?
No, but mushrooms.
I did a lot of mushrooms at ASU.
I loved...
Mushrooms were what helped me get to ASU.
I did mushrooms on the back of what was going to be my future dorm
with my buddy at Peanut Butter Jar.
We were scooping peanut butter out of a jar and just dipping mushrooms in there.
And we got just absolutely destroyed.
I mean, it was the most fun night I've ever had in my life.
And honestly, it was like the reason I went to that school.
I had no idea.
And I wanted to get to California and I couldn't afford it.
So that was the, you know, that was the truth. But, but I, um, I spent the majority of college trying everything.
So then by the time I got out, I didn't really want to do a lot of stuff. Like I knew a lot of
people in their mid twenties that got into that, like into trying a lot of drugs. And I kind of
was a little over it by the time I was 22, 23, when I moved to LA, I had done
a lot of what I wanted to try in college. I mean, I, I, I also did a lot in high school. So like
by the time I got to college, even I was a little bit more balanced with drugs, which was weird
because I would get fucked up with somebody and be like, whoa, dude, they can't handle it. It's
because they've never done it. You know what I mean? And if you've done stuff before with people
and you've had a couple of moments of ups or downs,
you know how to handle it in the future,
whether it's negative or positive.
Dude, I used to do, this is a really weird,
I used to do, I used to go to a guy's house
to go smoke pot and or take any drugs in high school.
And both of his parents were deaf.
And I swear to God,
I know this sounds like a Theo Vaughn story. Both of his parents were deaf and i swear to god i know this sounds like a theo vaughn story uh both of his parents were dead dude but um straight up his his um his parents
were both deaf and um he sometimes his dad would like come into the room when we were getting
fucked up and i was always like man is like does a deaf dad reprimand you you know what i
mean like does he ever because we got like he can't hear us he can't hear us and it's like you
can see you're doing drugs we're just doing drugs in front of him he can't hear us he can't hear us
and hear listen hey check it out i'm doing drugs he can't hear us yeah dude it was just such a weird
and he let that they the parents didn't care and he would walk in sometimes and we'd be ripped out of our mind.
I'd be so high.
And I used to do whippets over there.
And I'd be so baked.
And he would sit on the floor and just sit around us and stare and smile.
And I would say to my buddy, I'd be like, what's your dad like?
Is he just like staring at us because he's not happy about what's going on?
He's like, no, he loves to feel the music he so because we'd have music playing all you know and he would sit
on the floor so he could feel the bass and he would say it sometimes like he would point the
ground and be like i like this like i like this and i was like this one's a slapper yeah he's
like this shit hits this shit hits hard dude this is hard who is this drake no he yeah he would sit
uh he would sit in the room and watch us get,
that was the weirdest parent drug interaction.
But moments like that where I would have like bad,
if I was like on a bad high and I was at that house,
I would have these wake up calls like,
why am I ripped in this deaf guy's dad's house out of my mind?
Yeah, that's kind of a trip.
That's a trip.
It was very, yeah.
And his brother was handic yeah and his brother was
handicapped his brother was uh was mentally disabled and and his brother would teach us
these tricks that his parents used like do you know what ip relay is i think i've told this story
before do you know what ip relay is ip relay is like if a deaf person yeah if a deaf person this
was back in the 90s when somebody wanted to make a phone call, they would type on a computer,
and IP Relay would be the person that would call
whoever you want to talk to,
and they would have to say whatever you type.
So if I typed on a computer, eat my ass,
you'd be on the other line,
and the person would go, eat my ass, go ahead,
and then you would tell them what they would type back to you.
This is before instant message or any of that stuff.
And so we would use IP Relay on prank calls calls we'd prank call pizza hut and ip relay you know we'd be like
i want you know uh large pepperoni pizza and also go fuck yourself and legally these people and
there's somebody there's somebody on the other line saying that's a pizza hut and he reads that
and he's like and go fuck yourself i'm'm sorry. They have to.
Legally,
because IP Relay was a government service,
so they weren't allowed
to edit what was transposed.
So you could say anything.
You could have phone sex
with somebody.
So fucked up.
We're such bad kids.
That was a mean piece of shit.
Yeah, you're calling me a bad kid.
You were a bad kid, though.
Bad son.
I was a bad son.
Bad son.
Bad son.
So I skipped heavily
over we're already deep into this and i've skipped over um so many different things wait wait i i
saw can i tell you or wait are you changing the subject i just want to say how we know each other
and who you are to me first i have i have a i have a deaf parent related thing oh i saw i saw i just
want to tell you about a funny tiktok that saw. I feel like we're at the point now
where we can talk about
funny TikToks.
Yeah, yeah, TikToks are fun.
Let's talk about them.
It was
a daughter
giving her mom
a pair of AirPods
for her birthday
and her mom opens it
and looks at it
and goes,
and sort of like half smiles
and the camera turns to the dad
and the dad looks at it
and goes,
and then he starts signing to the daughter and like said some shit that doesn't because
they're both deaf. Both of the parents. That's a good TikTok. I felt so bad for laughing at that.
No, dude, you know what? There's so much stuff I just got on there. I'm having a friend help me
run it and he's just putting up old clips. I can make a new TikTok I'm 36 I don't think I think if I try to do like a mirror wipe TikTok people will be like this guy
is an asshole so they're just putting up old stand-up you know that you know the trends though
you know the trends I see it dude I open it up I can't follow it though it really doesn't
it doesn't land with me like I get why people like it but i just put up old stand-up bits so that
a younger generation can go oh cool you know whatever but um are they working but i've on
tiktok some of them dude yeah honestly it's weird like it's great one of the videos we put up of me
and bobby lee has like four million views yeah it's awesome yeah it's weird it's very weird how
that works out but like anyway i've talked about this bullshit TikTok before on the show.
But the thing that blows my mind about it truly is when people will put up like rape stories or like domestic abuse stories on there.
Have you ever seen those?
No.
That shit's, that shit's, no, you've never seen that?
No, but it doesn't really surprise me.
Like some of the shit I've come across on TikTok is like, you know, it'll be like shit on your for you page or whatever that has two likes and
you're like like how did 10 people have seen this including me and it's like some dark ass weird
video and you're like how is this even being recommended to me like they it's it's creepy
it's really like there was a girl i watched her and then i was like god is this like a thing
and then it showed showed you that other girls had like a woman held up a shirt this is not funny a woman held up a
shirt with blood on it and was like this is the shirt you i was in the night you oh lord like
beat me yeah dude and then she showed images of her after she was abused and i was like is this
for you who is this for like why why is this on my for you page like i don't this is
not i'm speak your truth or whatever but also i was like ah it's really hard to fucking look at
i was like i don't want to see some horrible bloody shirt this poor girl but anyway i i jump
on and off of it once in a while i'll look at it but it's not it's not for me you're good at it no i'm not
yeah i'm not i got a tweet yeah from someone the other day being like oh man it's such a shame that
cody's tiktoks aren't funny who said that what's his name who said that i'm not his name his name
was garrett no i'm kidding i i don't know hey garrett hey garrett come see me what if you beat
the shit out of someone because they said they had a bad TikTok?
Yeah, and I TikToked it.
TikTok beating the shit out of them.
Yeah, yeah, TikTok beating out.
That's what you get, dude.
Yeah, who's the funny man? And that's what you get on TikTok.
So I'll back it up.
The way I know you,
I should describe for people that don't know who you are.
You are a... I don't even know you are. You are a...
I don't even know how to do this anymore.
A multimedia comedic personality.
Right?
Yeah.
You act.
You're online doing...
You have a podcast.
You have a group.
Like, I don't even know what the proper new term is.
I'm just kind of like an online bad boy.
Oh, yeah.
Online bad boy. Cody's a bad boy yeah no you but you you um but you've done some great shit uh uh truly like i i uh i've said this to you before but i think
uh the real bros uh of see me valley is uh a great show It's a Facebook show, right? It's Facebook only or no?
Yeah.
Facebook Watch.
Yeah.
Facebook Watch.
Facebook Watch.
Yeah.
That's such a fun show, man.
That's all thanks to Christian and Jimmy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, it's really, you're very, it's very funny, man.
Yeah.
For people, if you haven't seen it, please go watch it.
It's very funny.
It's a Facebook Watch show.
It's basically about a bunch of bros from a very specific southern california uh culture simi valley and it's true lifted trucks and tats and
backwards flat rim hats and you once you get it you got it like you just you once you get it you
got it but it's it's it's really good man it genuinely it's very very funny and um it's odd
because you look you're a good looking guy you you know, like I've said before here, but on the show, you look so ugly. You're, you're very ugly on the show. What if I just ripped you? I was like,
you're the ugliest person on that show. It's really sad. See, no, you're, but, but, um,
but you're great on there. And, uh, you also are part, you also, you also have the tiny meat gang,
which is, um, of course, of course, very self-aggrandizing the tiny meat gang crew.
Which is, of course, very self-aggrandizing.
The tiny meat gang crew.
I had known who you were, seen your stuff, and had heard of you.
And then I sat next to your girlfriend on a flight to Montreal.
And she was editing something.
And I don't even know how the conversation got started.
But she was basically like, oh, I'm going to see my boyfriend.
Are you a performer?
I said, yeah, who's your boyfriend?
I would know if he's a comedian.
And she said, Cody, him and his friends have this tiny meat gang she was like really shy about saying it which is funny having you're making your girlfriend call your group the time
so so funny so funny but it was but it was really good it was very funny to me i started laughing
she's like it's a it's a joke by the way it's a it's a joke i mean it's like it's ironic right
no he has he's got a regular meet.
He's part of a regular meet. Yeah, yeah.
But the tiniest joke.
Yeah.
The medium meet gang.
She was very shy about it,
but at some point she got over it.
I was like, no, no, I get it.
I know who it is.
I know who he is.
And after that, we connected,
and I had said to you,
I wanted to get you on the podcast,
and you, of course, said,
yes,
as long as I can plug my new OnlyFans page.
My new OnlyFans.
Do you want to plug your OnlyFans page?
Yes, my new, yeah, so yeah.
Hit me up on OnlyFans, guys.
It's just me, it's a gaming clips, honestly.
It's me playing video games.
I figure I might as well make an OnlyFans.
I might start the trend to make it not so sex-focused.
It's a lot of sex, a lot of body parts and whatever. make an OnlyFans, you know, I might start the trend to make it not so sex focused. You know,
it's a lot of sex, a lot of body parts and whatever. I want to make OnlyFans kind of like,
you know, anything, cooking clips, video game stuff. So that's what I do on OnlyFans. And then I do show my dick and balls on there as well. No, no, I do mix nudity in, but it's tasteful.
Okay. But it's okay. Okay. Okay. Cool. Cool. So go to to cody's only fans page and what does that cost i don't i
don't even know i've never i've never been on there it's just 64 bucks a month but it's like
unlimited you know pictures and whatever i whatever i upload on there you get access to so
it's like you know i had a great snipe the other day on call of duty and then i posted a picture
of my dick laying on the controller so uh, 64 bucks will get you both of those.
Yeah.
And can you keep those photos
or do I have to,
like, can I download them
and keep them personal?
I mean, can a fan,
if they wanted to,
not me,
but if somebody else
wanted to download them,
could they?
You could, yeah.
It's another upsell.
You have to upgrade to premium for that,
but.
When you say you,
you mean they.
They could,
whoever wants to join.
Yeah, you or whoever. Not me. I'm not gonna gonna i don't need to unless seems like you're interested but
yeah that's no i'm not do you do promo codes for fans or anything just if they can get a discount
or something what's that promo code whiskey whiskey for whiskey 15 oh whiskey 15 is going
to be the promo code for your onlyFans. Yeah. Cool. Cool.
All right.
I took a guess at your promo code for your, is that what it is?
Whiskey 15?
Is that what they make it?
It's just, it's just, it's, it's just whiskey.
It's just whiskey.
Just whiskey.
For any of the promo codes, it's always just going to be whiskey.
Yeah.
But 15 is good.
I get that because that's the kind of, that's the age of boys that I like.
So let me transition into something very normal.
No, no, that's too young.
16 or 17. I it right by the way i
just reread a new article about speaking of my uh alma mater a woman in arizona was finally charged
with uh that i can't remember her name but it came up in the paper again she was charged with
having sex with one of her students who was 13 13 this is the craziest part, a new development was another student watched.
Just sat there and watched.
Oh, that's a new angle.
Yes, I've never heard of that version.
On the classic teacher sleeps with student case.
I know.
We've heard the teacher sleeps with student before,
but I've never seen a guy voyeuristically cuck.
I've never heard a teacher student cuck story, you know?
Yeah, that's like getting started early on the cucking.
I feel like that usually develops later in life,
but not for that kid.
Right.
What if that kid was just staying after to work,
to like do some extra work and finish something before he,
he was like, I don't, you know,
I'm going to miss the bus anyway.
I might as well work in the classroom.
And the teacher just starts fucking this other student.
And you're like, that's fine.
And he's like-
I need to finish this.
Like, this is due tomorrow. He's like, is this is this extra credit if i watch well is is that an extra grade point
it always makes me laugh like it's so stupid but like the memes where it'll show like a picture of
the teacher whenever it's like teacher sleeps with student and the teacher is like old and not good looking and the meme is like man they should arrest the kid too
that always makes me laugh but it's so but it's funny because most of those teachers are so good
looking now like i have i've admitted i don't know if it's if it's pot or if it's years of alcohol
abuse but i don't have a good memory long term. My short term is incredible,
but my long term is shit. I don't remember one hot teacher. Did you have hot teachers
when you were young? Yeah. Okay. So I had one. Get this. Her name was Miss Dick. D-Y-C-K.
Miss Dike? I swear to fucking God, dude. Miss Dick. Pronounce Dick. D-Y-C-K.
I spelled Miss Dike.
D-Y-C-K.
She was my English teacher in eighth grade or ninth grade.
And she was smoking hot.
Smoking hot.
You're getting boners every day.
Every, yeah.
I mean, her name is Dick.
Yeah, you gotta, you gotta.
Why wouldn't she change that? Why wouldn't she change that?
Why wouldn't she change that
and just go by something else?
You don't have to have your legal name.
I never understood that.
Why do teachers use their legal names?
What's the difference?
In school, just be Miss Martinez
and when you go home, be Miss Cock.
You know what I mean?
They have stripper names.
Yeah.
I'm Miss Mercedes.
But that would make more sense than the dick like like we had a teacher
um we had a teacher name and i'm trying and now i'm trying i've just forgot her name now it's it's
it was miss it's like it was like rodentbaum or you know like and it was anytime there's a long
name kids are gonna make fun of it like you know rodent balls or rodent butt balm or like you know i mean kids are just gonna find a way to throw shit in there yeah yeah
yeah and and and throwed in balls and i remember yeah yeah why wouldn't you just i remember thinking
when i even when i was young like why wouldn't you just be like miss lisa or like whatever your
first name was you know like miss mary like yeah i never understood if you have a shitty name
why would you tell kids don't you know that kids are going to take any liberty at all in making fun of your name?
That's why when people name their kids something stupid, I'm like, did you not go to school?
Do you not know that they're going to make fun of your kid?
Yeah.
Because his name rhymes with anus.
You know, like, how do you not know that?
Anything that vaguely rhymes with anything dirty,
nix it.
Yeah.
Yeah, and it can't be.
Yeah.
Like you can't be like,
yeah, this is my son Rifkin.
You're like, great.
And he's fucked.
He's never going to last.
Your son Nifkin Rifkin
is going to be,
that's over.
Like my,
I'm not going to say the names,
but someone in my neighborhood,
his kids have the most
ridiculous names.
And I want to be like,
you know that kid's going to get made fun of.
He's going to get mocked.
And it's your fault.
You picked it.
So now either he has to go by a nickname,
he has to be like AJ or his middle name or whatever,
or he's going to get mercilessly mocked.
This is my son, Ligma.
You should just name your kid the thing.
If it rhymes with it, just name your kid Schmegma.
That way you get it out of the way.
That way they're like, yeah, Schmeggy.
Then it becomes a term of endearment.
There's an F1 driver that noel was telling me about his his
last name is bottas it's b-o-t-t-a-s but like pronounced in a british accent it's like buttass
and he was like he's like the announcers just never do him any favors they're like and buttass
rounds the corner just buttass it's like the funniest fucking shit
and here comes butt ass and he once again leading the pack butt ass he he came in from the rear and
butt ass is scooping towards the front something and by the way something about when a british
person says a a half cuss word it's always funnier yeah when they say us or or but or like that's why bloody
is so funny because bloody is like not really a curse word but it it's so funny it means but it
means to them it means like um it's like if you use fucking as an adjective when you're like oh
and they were fucking uh you know it's like a throw-in yeah bloody is the same same way but
for some reason it's found its way into semi-offensive category.
You know what I mean?
It's almost like on that line for them.
Uh-oh.
Of like, you know, like, oh, no, that could mean something bad.
But for some reason, cunt is fine.
You say cunt in Britain and everyone's like, yeah, okay, yeah, don't be a cunt.
Here you say cunt.
People like, they shut down.
They're like, oh, my God.
People stop doing what they're
doing and yeah exactly that's like the most offensive thing you can say in here we pour
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Ginger.
I like gingers.
I never understood, and also, for the first time I learned why a fanny pack was called a fanny pack.
Because I was always like, why do we call it a fanny?
Because a fanny in America is your ass.
But a fanny in Britain is a pussy, is your front.
And the fanny pack goes on your front.
You never do that either, huh?
Yeah.
It's like a fupa.
Yeah, a fanny is a pussy.
No, a fanny is a pussy. It's another word for a pussy.
And we say fanny is a butt.
Like, you sit on your fanny.
But fanny pack always comes in the front.
So that's why it's called a fanny pack
because it goes right over your fanny.
But also it could be because if you have a big pussy,
you might sit on your fanny and your pussy.
You never know.
The whole thing might be a fanny.
British people, dude, British people are really,
they have such a great sense of humor
about dark, weird, gross stuff.
They're just, they don't care the way that we do.
Like we have this, Americans are scared of being gross or dirty and it's like naughty.
But over there, it's like, it's not a big deal.
Yeah, I remember like going to Europe as a child and seeing like boobs on magazine covers.
Yeah.
And I'm like, they they're just my parents are
like they're like cooler with sex here it's like just a normal thing like it's in tv and
magazine nudity is just on like kids can see it it's not like a okay once you're 18 you can see
some boobies that sort of thing it's like your boobs are real and they're just like they're on
people's chests and it's a thing you can see them you can suck on them if you want you sucked on them
you can just go up to anybody
and suck on them
you're allowed in Britain
this is a rule in the UK
if someone has very nice tits
you could go right up there
and suck on them
you know what I mean
that's a street rule
you can drink outside
you can suck boobs
you can suck tits
and drink outside
that's their advertisement
come to Great Britain
you can drink outside
and you can suck tits.
So that's the British Tourism Board.
When you travel, when you live, I didn't know you lived in Australia.
Where did you live?
In Sydney?
You did, didn't you?
Yeah.
What does that mean?
Because Sydney's the place where any tourist would go live.
Are you going to go to Brisbane?
I don't, are you living anywhere else?
Where do normal, where would Americans go to live, really?
Well, we went to Melbourne, and we lived there.
We didn't live there.
We were there for like a couple weeks, and that was amazing.
It's like, I don't know, Melbourne.
You've been to Melbourne, right?
Melbourne.
Yeah, right.
If you say Melbourne, they get mad.
It's Melbourne.
Melbourne.
I get it.
I understand.
We're supposed to say it the right way, but it's spelled Melbourne. So Melbourne, but I can't say Melbourne because it's melbourne melbourne i get it i understand we're supposed to say it the right way but it's spelled melbourne so melbourne but i can't say melbourne yeah because that's not it's
not spelled m-e-l-b-i-n but it's like weird to make us say it in their accent isn't it that's
very interesting yeah that's very funny like i have to say well it's also when you go to britain
it's the same thing if it's like uh i remember my buddy used to live off of the tube stop it's gloucester right is how you pronounce it gloucester road but it's spelled gloucester
oh yeah okay gloucester but they would go gloucester but i'm like no it's it's gloucester
yeah you're like isn't it offensive if i say this briefly in your accent and then switch back to
mine like wouldn't you rather just me stick to my own shit, like, as a respect thing?
Right.
If I had, like, a thick Chicago accent, like, people, like, my friends back home, I could just hear them trying to do that, being like, yeah, we took the tube over there.
We were headed uptown on the other side of Soho, and we got off at Gloucester Road.
And then we made our way to the KFC.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. to soho and we got off at gloucester road and then we we made our way to the kfc yeah yeah exactly yeah to like to change for them is such a weird thing to do that i you feel like an asshole yeah
exactly when i say melbourne it makes me feel like an ass but i'm gonna say melbourne it's like that
that's what i would say but they're gonna give you shit either way yeah you it's a lose-lose
ah you cunt ah it's melbourne you cunt it's an american cunt. Ah, it's Melbourne, you cunt. He's an American cunt.
He's an American cunt.
Yeah.
So when you lived down in Sydney, what was the main goal?
Just to surf and party and try to figure out if there was any worth in you staying and developing apps down there?
Were you going to try to live there?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I had never traveled.
I had never been anywhere because, you know, in college, a lot of people go abroad.
It's like the thing you do
junior year,
you go abroad.
Yeah.
You go to Germany or Italy
or whatever,
at least that's what
all my friends did.
Germany?
Who went to Germany?
That's a weird one.
Germany is a weird pick.
Berlin's like a pretty big,
yeah.
They have some crazy stories.
Berlin is dope, but I wouldn't go to i wouldn't want to
go that's not of all the european study abroads i think berlin would be like my like last on my
list of western europe places yeah yeah it was weird when we did a show in barcelona yeah that's
that's a great place so we did a show in germany it was really like the audience was like very like stoic
german people like very like yes dude yeah like yeah you've read it you know history about what
they were what they're all about right you know these guys these german guys with the german
yeah their whole history is is is stoic and stiff and i mean their sense of humor is so
it's just so like carefully crafted and small and they don't want to, I think after years of getting shit for being German, German people now, they don't want to offend anybody.
Yeah.
They want to be nice and safe.
Yeah.
They don't have the luxury of being loose about, if you go down there and you joke about like any Nazi shit, it's a big deal.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can't do that.
Well, that's what's fucked
is like the rest of the world
tends to try to joke about their negative history
because you don't have a choice.
Yeah.
But theirs is so fucking bad
that if you make an off-color Nazi joke,
I mean, it's like a cultural whiplash
that everyone hates that.
They get so angry.
They're like, that's not who we are.
It's like, well,
you have to joke about who you were.
It's never going to go away.
You can't just pretend like it never happened.
But yeah, the Germans are nice people.
They're crazy.
There's a lot of stiffness.
We would be like, we weren't even making Nazi jokes or anything like that.
But in the middle
of the show it's like are you guys even enjoying this i'm like yeah we're in very much so we loved
it very much you can like this is express yourself it's a great show yes i love it's a tiny meat gang
it's great they're like the best of the performance yeah we love you we love you they don't smile that
no they're they're they're good people they just they have this different the the culture the
reception of their of humor and their culture is significantly different than ours yeah very like
you know whatever but anyway yeah great great city though but anyways yeah so great i never
never traveled in college because of diving um couldn't couldn't do it and so basically after
i graduated and i just started working right away i I'd say, you know, once I once I worked for two years, I saved up some money.
I was sick of my job.
I was kind of like now seems like the time is twenty three.
I was like, now seems like the time to to do this and just like see the world.
I've never, never been.
So I was like, I got to see what it's like to like at least live in another place.
I moved from Calgary to North Carolina to go to school. And that was a big
culture shock for me. But like once I got used to American culture and, you know, like weird frat
culture on the East Coast and then tech culture on the West Coast, I was like, it's time to see
something different. And and so living in Australia was cool. It was fun. My buddy and I,
we were just we were just there working on basically like teaching ourselves how to read we had been working at software engineers for a couple years but like
we didn't know we wanted to be full stack which means your front end your back end it makes it
easier to find a job basically you write web apps you write you can write iphone apps you could write
you know server stuff and so we were teaching ourselves how to do that by coming up with
uh like you know web services
we had we had one called hey and it was a greeting card service so you could go online and for five
bucks you could send a greeting card anywhere in the world that said hey and then when you open it
it said fuck you in like small uh like you know american typewriter font right and then we made
it you know we took that we took that and it was actually
pretty popular.
It got like a whole bunch
of sales.
We could promote it
with our Vine audience
that we had.
Right.
And so we took that
and we made the phrases
be like,
you know,
have a decent Mother's Day
or like hottest mom
or like whatever,
you know?
Right, right.
And so it kind of became
this big like
interesting greeting card service
that people were using
to send joke cards
for, like, every occasion.
Like, you know, have a decent wedding.
Hope you don't get divorced.
You know, shit like that.
Like, just simple phrases that were short and funny.
Right.
Who was your buddy that went with you?
Who was that?
It's the guy who made...
Is he someone that you're with now or no?
Do you hang with him now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's the CTO of Cameo.
He started Cameo.
Oh, shit. Yeah, that guy. Wow. Wild. now? Yeah, he's the CTO of Cameo. He started Cameo. Oh shit. Yeah. That guy.
Wild. Wow. Yeah. So yeah. Did you get a piece of that? You got some, you got some Cameo money
coming in? Did I get a piece of that? What does that mean? Yeah. You say, Hey, but Hey man,
cut me in on the fucking Cameo deal. Part of it was my idea. Cause we know that it was your idea.
What's his name? What's that guy's name? Devin. Devin.
And everybody knows Devin if you're listening.
Cody, it was Cody's idea.
Cameo was Cody's idea.
We know it.
He knows it.
What can I say, man?
Give him a cut.
You developed it together.
Five, 10%, that's all I'm asking.
Come on, dog.
That's it.
A little slice of the pie.
So he developed that while he was in,
did he develop that in Australia
or when he got back to the States?
No, we got back, when we got back, we lived together for a few years and it was like,
I got a job working for this startup in Santa Monica. He was working for a startup. And then
another one of my friends from Duke and another guy, they came to him and they had like concocted
this idea basically. and so they all
started working on it together at our apartment in in like where we were living before and it
became this like giant thing out of nowhere it was pretty crazy they launched it i was the first
person on it or one of the first first or second are you still on it are you still on i am yeah i
am what do you charge bro be honest honest. I don't want to say.
Well, they can look it up. I feel like a dick saying it.
They can look it up.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, it's on the internet.
What is it?
It is, yeah.
It's $199.
But it's $200.
Why do you do a $199?
I've seen that on there.
People do like $89.
Why not $90?
I don't understand.
Why not $200?
Why?
Well, because I don't know.
Why does Walmart and Target do that?
I don't know. It's like to Target do that? I don't know.
It's like to compel people to buy it at a certain price without making it that price.
I think they also do it because of purposes that with sales tax, it ends up going over.
So they do that to entice buyers that it's below the number they thought it was going to be,
but they end up going over with sales tax anyway.
You don't include sales tax.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't do that. I don't know. What you're doing is tax. No. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm just, I don't know
what you're doing. What you're doing is wrong. It's wrong. It's fraud. It's fraud. It's fraud.
It's fraud. Just do 200, just do 200 and get over it. Will you do a cameo for me right now for free?
Will you do one for free right now for me? Yeah. If you sign up for my only fans here, I already,
I'm a, I'm actually a, I'm a super code fan i'm a super cody fan you if you
look my name is i'm the top one on there it's called that's what we call that's what i call
you guys the super codes the super codes i'm a super code fan as you know uh yeah do i i thought
about the cameo world they reached out to me and i think i when i first came around i was gonna i
was gonna mess with them and then um and then i i and then i
didn't do it because um i already have enough fans that masturbate to my videos like this like
this is getting jerked off to by at least a dozen people like at seriously every time i do a podcast
i get people that i go hey man i jerk off to your videos and i'm like what videos and they're like
anything anything on youtube mostly whiskey ginger.
And,
uh,
this one will get a lot more because of you.
There's a lot more dudes that'll be pulling on their,
uh,
on their steamboat because of you.
And,
uh,
so right now you think dudes are,
dudes are jerking off right now?
Uh,
yeah.
Yeah.
There's literally no doubt in my mind.
Yeah.
Okay.
So can you look right in the camera and say,
go ahead and come right now?
Yeah.
Go ahead. Go ahead and come right now yeah go ahead go ahead and come it's cool it's all good yeah yeah there i hope that helps i hope that helps
subtle encouragement go ahead and come it's cool man go ahead and come to imagine that
some guy might get off or some guy might be like oh fuck yeah cody that's all i need to interest you huh cameo wasn't no i know it's not that chris d'alia
made his like fifty thousand dollars or some shit and they thought that was pretty funny
well look i mean i just i just feel like i talk to people on this a lot and i have a lot of fan
interaction and then with that i just i knew i, when you know, you're not going to be good at something.
I knew I wouldn't be good at those because I would feel, I don't know. There's, there's things
I just like people are doing a lot of lives or people are doing, um, uh, digital standup shows
right now. And as a comedian, nothing, nothing in like everything inside of me wants to do a show
more than anything, but I just can't do a live
online show because it's not i know i wouldn't like it or be good at it and i would project that
you know what i mean like i know in a cameo i would project my discontent for it because i
don't really want to do it like something about it doesn't interest me so it'd be disingenuous
i'd be doing videos that are like hey hey, happy birthday, Mike. And I'd be annoyed
at myself because I don't like the way I sound on it. You know what I mean? To be this like
self-conscious loop. But anyway, I might do it. And if I do do it, I would charge more than you.
I'm going to do 201. I'm going to do $201 if I do end up going to it.
That's for the sales tax though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We do include sales. I would do sales tax on camera.
I'd write 201 plus 595.
Have you ever bought one of those things off TV,
like a late night TV ad for like $9.99
and you get two more thrown in?
Have you ever bought bullshit off TV like that?
Like off an infomercial?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, no.
Oh, maybe, wasn't the magic bullet,
wasn't that infomercial yeah it was yeah
I bought a magic bullet yeah we dude I've started I've started to become okay with buying some stuff
off there because I think it's more fun than anything else as seen on tv shit is great man
oh yeah like or like sky mall shit love it yeah I think it's the best because it's bullshit and
you know it but at least it's fun to yeah it's like fun to try i totally agree like goggles with a you know head massager built into the thing you know stuff like that i'm buying it
up run it up yeah yeah buy into run it put it on the card actually speaking of which they took away
sky malls i was reading you know comics have been calling me we've been talking about are we going
to start flying are we going to start touring and airplanes are putting out all these you know
youtube videos and emails to frequent flyers being like, hey, we're sanitizing every seat after every flight.
We're putting in like these special updated HEPA filters that like they cycle every day.
We have to put it, you know, trying to give people some sort of solace in trying to fly again.
And they've said that they're removing the SkyMall magazines.
They're removing all those like pamphlets, you know, the instructional manual.
Yeah. They want to get rid of all that stuff because it's more shit to touch and, you know,
but also, yeah, because that's unnecessary. If the plane's going down, I'm not reading a pamphlet.
I'm panicking just like everybody else and I'm screaming and we're dead i'm not i'm not gonna look at the instructor you know no one's gonna be on the
way down looking to find out yeah yeah okay it's under your seat okay so help myself before i help
other okay got that one by the way i love how they say help yourself before you help a child
or someone else i'm if i'm on the flight with my kid i'm not helping my kid if he doesn't figure
it out that's it that's on him i'm not helping my kid if he doesn't figure it out that's
it that's on him i'm not helping my kid you're figuring out someone else's fucking kid no i'm
not helping anybody else oh no please no right no you yeah you know i'm stepping over bodies dude
i'm taking that last parachute dude yeah i'm stepping right over bodies yeah um i'm taking the last bit there
is no parachute you know that right yeah i bring mine i bring one every you do is that your overhead
that's in your overhead yeah yeah it's a it's a paranoia type thing but it's just you know just
a case how funny would it be if a plane was going down and you just strapped on a parachute but you
just can't you can't get out anyway so you die with the parachute on. And they're like, right idea, wrong execution.
I deploy it in the plane.
People are getting tangled in it.
This is exponentially worse.
This is so much worse.
This is way worse.
So wait, though.
You developed, you did, we talked before, you developed an app that did really well, right?
Didn't you do something that did very well?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so my senior year.
So I went to school for computer science.
That was my degree.
Yeah, you're a genius.
And no, not at all.
I got, dude, I was so dumb.
Don't be coy.
You're very smart, dude.
No computer engineers are dumb.
That's a fact.
But I'm telling you, I got good at computer science after I graduated.
Like after this whole thing. When I started working, I feel like that's when you actually get good at something is when you're doing it good at computer science after I graduated. Like after this whole thing.
When I started working, I feel like that's when you actually get good at something is when you're doing it or trying to do it for money.
In college, I was a piece of shit.
I took biology of dinosaurs my freshman year.
It was a class specifically for athletes.
Hell yeah, dude.
So that they could pass it and get a credit so they could stay on the team.
It's for the basketball players and the football players or whatever.
Did anybody fail?
I got a D.
All you had to do is memorize dinosaur fucking names.
It's like a class for four-year-olds.
I got a fucking D.
I was the only person in the class that got a D.
So sad.
That's so sad.
Yeah.
What was I?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
So I studied computer science and senior year.
What was it? Oh, yeah. Okay. So I studied computer science and senior year. All my friends were interviewing for jobs and some, you know, like start of the senior year. It's like all your overachiever friends like already have jobs lined up from internships that they've done, you know, after their giant job lined up at microsoft and uh you know
another one was like another big company i was stressing because i didn't have anything i had no
i i just summers would come and i would fuck off back to canada and go to the lake and whatever
and i didn't do a single internship and i didn't i wasn't like just ready for interviews nothing
and so i got really nervous and i and I had a competition schedule too.
It was like intense senior year.
So I couldn't like take time off
to do like the career days or whatever.
So my goal was, okay, I'll make an app.
I'll write an app to teach myself
how to program iPhone apps.
Cause at that point I only knew like Java
and something else.
And maybe that'll be like a skill
that I can sell myself after I graduate.
I can move to or I can try to move to the West Coast and see if a company will take me as a junior iPhone engineer.
And so I wrote this app that was like it basically would put – there was an app that did something similar, but it was paid.
Like you had to pay two bucks for it or something like that.
And I thought it was a great concept, but the captions could be funnier and i could do it
for free and so i wrote this app that basically was like a meme app you you would upload a you
take a picture you would upload a picture that you took of whatever like something from your
camera roll and it would put a random caption on it and would say it was always like really crude it would say like you know um you know um fanny or you know
cunts or whatever right right right right or like takes dick or like cokehead or like some random
shit like that and they were always like general enough to where it applied to every picture so
people ended up thinking there was like some weird ai that i had built in it that would read the
picture and put a caption specific to the picture and so it was that in a combo of the fact that it was
super dirty. Like I, I gamed the review system. Apple has to review every app that they let into
the store. And so they reject anything that has crude words or whatever. So I timed my,
I wrote a database that would, that was a a timed database so it would release all the dirty captions after Apple reviewed it.
And so it went crazy viral because people were like, we've never seen an app with the word fuck in it.
And so it went totally viral and it went to number one in the App Store at a time where the top ten apps in the App store were like Google, eBay, like all these companies
that were spending thousands on marketing to get there. And mine went to number one,
just off viral nature. Because you could write cunt and fanny and fuck you on it.
Exactly. Yeah. Because the word fanny. What was the name? What was the name?
It was called I'd Cap That. I'd Cap That. Is it still around or no?
I think it is. I think it's still in the app
store i don't know so what happened was i i ended up selling it right now yeah yeah i think it's
still there um you but you sold it to who who so it was a company uh in silicon valley that was
like a mobile ad company like they would they basically were like the the reason why sometimes
when you're playing games you get like a pop-up ad that's advertising some gambling game or something like that.
It is still there.
Look at that.
Well, it's IDCAP that.
I don't know if it's changed.
Well, there's also IDCAP that too.
That was my first job when I got to this company.
So basically, they acquired the app because they wanted to drive traffic through their ad network.
acquired the app because they wanted to drive traffic through their ad network.
And they gave me a job in the process.
And my first job after was to create I'd Cap That 2, the sequel.
This time it's personal.
Wow.
This time it's personal.
Yeah.
The first review, by the way, the first review is this app is created by the one and only.
And it says Corico.
Good. Yeah.
It's amazing. It's completely frictionless and it's Cory Co. Good. Okay. Yeah. It's amazing.
It's completely frictionless, and it's very creative.
I love the way he creates captions for this app.
Yeah.
Considering he's also a DJ and a volleyball player, this is very impressive.
That's my legacy.
I like how someone's got your bio lined up.
My favorite is that sometimes there's always somebody who's got a critical review of an app.
Yeah.
Who takes the time who's
this guy who's william who's william who says no no one likes this this isn't good who's that guy
who's the guy not a big fan of this interface yeah who we're uh to uh uh everyone claims this
app is frictionless i gotta disagree too disagree. Too much friction. Not cool or intelligent.
Like, who the fuck?
Who does that?
These are the same people.
You know who this is?
What?
The Yelp community.
The Yelp community, people who go on Yelp
and they rate a review of a restaurant.
It's not that the food was bad.
They rated something like the valet experience.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The bathroom ran out of paper towels. That guy's a fucking piece of shit and he should be burned
in the town square. You'll see a one star in a restaurant and it won't say my chicken was
undercooked and the whatever was bad. They'll literally go, the valet took forever to get my
car back and I and i couldn't
stand it so the food was fine they'll always write that they'll go i had no problem with the food it
was actually kind of good but i gotta tell you the bartender had a little bit of an attitude
so that one star a fucking restaurant that they actually enjoyed the meal at that guy deserves
to be shot and burned in front of everyone and tell people. What are they expecting?
Are they expecting people to read that and be like,
oh, hon, we can't go here.
The valet is not up to par.
We can't go.
The valet is slow.
Yeah.
Yeah, we got to know.
Fuck that place.
That always made me mad.
And then what makes me even more mad is reading the sad owner or manager
that has to manage the reviews and go, hey, I'm the proprietor and I just want
to let you know we're disappointed in that and we apologize for that. And they're being earnest,
right? They're trying to say, sorry, man, but also why did you give us one star? That fucks up our
business on the internet because it's all kind of, people don't understand, even though Yelp is
bullshit, it still does equate to search engine driven traffic to analytic traffic of like how people
search stuff. It just, it's what happens. So the proprietor says, sorry, that happened to you.
You know, I hope we can fix it. And next time you come in, please see me directly.
And they do something nice like that. Reach out. And the person will still say,
I have no intention on coming back. Your restaurant just doesn't know how to handle
valet traffic. It's like, fuck that guy. Fuck that guy.
You know what I mean?
The guy tried to be nice and you're still an asshole?
Fuck you.
Fuck all those people that do that.
The only appropriate time to Yelp a restaurant is if the food was so fucking bad and dog shit
with a combination of the service being bad or everything everything's everything has to be a toppling
of being bad and fucked up for you to even consider and i still wouldn't but for you to
even consider writing a review i still just would not go and if somebody said how is that restaurant
i'd go yeah it's not good we didn't fucking we didn't like it that's the end of it you know
but if i don't i don't go to restaurants unless the valet is good well i don't even valet
is efficient you don't even valet you won't go you won't go no i won't valet i i refuse to
people it's not it's so i i don't bet i don't valet i don't valet i do not wait if i go to a
i swear i never do because i used to valet in college and i know how we treat the cars
so oh oh really yeah what you just fucking fuck about like joyride and if you didn't know it's in college and I know how we treat the cars. Oh, really? Yeah, dude.
They don't give a fuck about your shit?
No, it's not even joy.
It's like if you dinged a car or
if you're quickly pulling stuff in and out and
you bump the thing or whatever,
you don't care. It's not
your car. You're busy. And if somebody
goes, hey, this scratch wasn't there,
you just go, oh, yeah, no,
yeah, it was was or we have a
liability contract that everybody sees when they come in on the posted sign that says we're not
responsible for lost or stolen items or damage and da da da da yeah they don't give a fuck i used to
valet we don't care we don't care so i won't i don't valet no way dude i i've gone to a country
club like a nice high-end country club and i'll go where's the self-park and i'll park myself and they hate it they hate it because i'm a guest i'm supposed to valet i'll tip the valet i'll give him
money but i'll just park it myself i'll go here's 20 bucks i'm just gonna park my car myself and
they go all right and they look at me like i'm an idiot but i'm like yeah this way i don't get
any door dings and there's no that's a good i don't have yeah that's a good little restaurant
give money that's a good little like restaurant uh um – yeah. That's a good little restaurant. I'll take the guy. I'll still give him money. That's a good little restaurant secret.
Didn't Anthony Bourdain say never eat mussels at a restaurant ever or something like that?
Yeah.
Because they're always bad or they're always two days old or whatever.
And he said never eat at a place where the bathrooms aren't clean because that shows how serious they take hygiene.
It's one thing that they could do that's easy.
By the way, muscles, and I love muscles.
I had muscles in San Francisco,
which you think of all places,
it should be San Francisco, man.
It's like seafood heaven in the Bay Area.
I got so fucking sick from muscles in San Francisco,
I almost couldn't do a show that night.
Dude, grumbly,
tumble, grumbly, tummy, grumbly, tumbleys, grumbly, tumbleys, bro. I almost had the
schitzky doodles on stage. Dude, it was the worst. My stomach hurts so bad. Yeah. Bourdain's right.
Don't eat fucking muscles. Don't don't. The rule is don't eat muscles unless you're from,
it is from a super high end seafood place. Yeah. And they, they just do those things. Don't eat
mussels from like a Italian restaurant that also has mussels. Yeah. Mussels generally are,
mussels generally are cool though. Like I have a ton of them on my body and, um, to be very honest
with you, you're a liar. You don't. And I've seen it. I've been on your only fans and you lack what
you lack in muscle mass you make up for in hair and teeth, but you just don't have the muscles that you should.
Your lack of muscles, it's actually impressive.
Your muscles go in where they should pop out.
It's like an invert.
I know.
I forgot you're a supercoat.
I was trying to convince them that I have the, what's under this is nice, but you know the truth.
It's not.
That's why you're wearing a sweater
and it's 82 degrees outside
because everything underneath,
there's nothing there.
I'm wearing two sweaters.
There's another hoodie underneath this one.
Dude, by the way,
how are you wearing a sweater,
a hoodie right now?
It isn't hot.
It's hot as fuck.
I have my AC set to 61.
Oh, rich guy.
Someone can afford that, dude.
Yeah, I like to just keep it way too cold in here
yeah six yeah keep it real yeah well it's because i'm the same way though that i'm like
i try to keep it too cold in the house and my old bag hates it because she's women are always cold
so she'll go it's too cold in here yeah and i'm like but otherwise it's it's better than when
it's 78 i don't it's too hot i just can't have stagnant hot air. It's got to be cold for me at night.
To go to bed, it's got to be freezing cold.
Same.
Freezing cold.
You know what?
I got one of these weighted blankets, the gravity blankets.
Love, dude, love.
Oh, dude.
The night that I've changed.
Now I'm used to it, but the night that I got it,
I haven't had that good of a sleep in years.
It's amazing.
It's weird, right?
Yeah, it's weird.
Yeah, super weird. You think it's not i it's weird right yeah it's weird yeah super weird you think you think
it's not gonna be it's not gonna work that well like you in your mind you're like how could this
be any different than everything i've ever tried yeah it does it and it does oh it works it's magic
it really is it's one of those things that it's like it's one of those things that's just it's
worth it there's another my buddy got an uler you ever heard of this an uler yeah it's like a layer
that you put in between your like sheets and? Yeah, it's like a layer that you put in between your sheets and your mattress.
And it's like a water-cooled.
So it cools your whole bed.
And you can set the specific temperature and it cools right to that temperature.
And you can set it for different sides of the bed.
Apparently, it's like a life changer.
No, I have heard about it.
I mean, it depends on what money category you're in.
I am a multi, multi, multi, multi, multi, multi billionaire,
and I have very, very heavy specifications on my sleep.
Baby arms and baby legs, you know, baby, like squishy baby arms.
I have babies that have been removed of their limbs.
My bed is made of baby arms and baby legs that are preserved.
It's so squishy.
Look, if you have the cash, if you have the cream,
Is that not illegal?
then you can do it.
I don't, what's the law?
Who's going to come get me?
Yeah.
Do you work for the cops?
Are you a cop?
I look like one.
Yeah, but if you don't, you're not come who's gonna get me by the way uh joke jokes aside i thought about that the
other day i was like what cop is working overtime during the pandemic yeah you know what i mean like
i feel like this is a great time to be a criminal because even cops are like i'm not going over
there is fucking no i don't want to get sick. They could have it. They could have the thing. It's a TV.
It's a TV.
Let them have it.
I'll let you off with a warning.
Yeah, hey, hey, put it down.
That's what British cops do.
No.
They don't have guns.
No, they go, hey, put it down.
Please, put it back.
Please.
No, no.
Well, no, no, no, no.
Well, listen, dude. I appreciate you you're you are a
wonderful dude i'm happy i'm happy to be a super code um everyone should follow everything that
you're doing because you're incredible uh the tiny meat gang is very entertaining you're a very
funny dude i'll link everything in the description so people can follow you and your only fans and
your cameo and uh we end the episode with one word or one phrase. I'm going to get off camera. You're
going to say it into the camera when I'm away. One word or one phrase. Go ahead.
Just anything?
Yeah.
Vegan.
In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You're that creature in the ginger beard. vegan.