Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Dana Carvey

Episode Date: August 11, 2023

You jerks don't deserve this one! I'm sorry I can't stay mad at you. On the show today Santino sits down with one of the funniest people on the planet and a living legend. I mean COMEON MAN it's DANA ...FRIGGIN CARVEY! This one was an absolute blast! Sit back relax and pour yourself one for this very special Whiskey Ginger. #danacarvey #whiskeyginger #andrewsantino #podcasts ====================== SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS SQUARESPACE Get that site up and running now! 10% off your order https://squarespace.com/whiskey RABBIT HOLE $5 OFF with Promo Code: WHISKEY https://rabbitholedistillery.com/drizly GOODR Use PROMO CODE: WHISKEY For FREE SHIPPING https://goodr.com/whiskey RAYCON For 15% OFF YOUR ORDER https://buyraycon.com/whiskey ========================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. We got a banger of a guest today. It's unbelievable. Dana Carvey. So excited to have Dana on the show. What a brilliant mind, a great comedian, wonderful actor. Genuinely such a great person as well. I was honored to sit down and talk with Dana on the show. Please like the video, subscribe to the channel if you dig it. Leave a comment down below for the Algo Rhythm so we can spread this thing around on the interwebs. It means a lot to me to keep this whisk-ginge train moving. We've been at it for five years now, and I'm going to keep it going for as long as I can, as long as you guys push it around, like it, subscribe it, tell a friend, share the video.
Starting point is 00:00:41 as you guys push it around, like it, subscribe it, tell a friend, share the video. Do your thing. Speaking of showing love to you guys, I'm going to be back out on the road with Bob, Bobo, Bobby Lee in the fall for the Bad Friends pod. Now, we're not doing the podcast.
Starting point is 00:00:56 A lot of people ask. We're not doing a podcast. We do live stand-up, and we also do bits from the show which are interactive with the audience, but there is no podcast. It's a bunch of stand-up and a bunch of bits.'s very fun you're not going to be sitting there watching us just talking to the microphones we're going to be making you laugh baby come see us uh tickets
Starting point is 00:01:13 are at badfriendspod.com badfriendspod.com we're going everywhere chicago uh milwaukee minneapolis madison rochester pittsburgh cleveland denver dc uh a bunch come see us go to bad friends pod.com bad friends pod.com for those tickets enough rambling from me let's go to the episode in here we pour whisk Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the whore.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Are all those rolling on all these? Yep. All right, here. Hey, Joe. All right, here.
Starting point is 00:02:05 Hey, Joe. Joe is our editor. Dana, say hi to Joe on that camera right there. Oh, Joe is here? No, Joe is in Boston. What's up, Joe? He's sitting in one of his... He's a real estate mogul in Boston. He owns 50 buildings in Boston.
Starting point is 00:02:19 God, and you... He's a billionaire, this guy. Seriously a billionaire? No, no, no. No, I was... everyone's rich now. Don't get, you know, isn't everyone rich? Everybody's rich. That's why the people who aren't rich are really angry.
Starting point is 00:02:32 They're really mad right now. I mean, I have such angry people around me. Well, stop talking to everybody. Just be alone. Sit alone in your little abode, happy with your family. Yes. Just be happy. Dana, just be happy for once.
Starting point is 00:02:44 I love this whole movement, which is still new. Here's the list that is in my head. Bobby Lee. Yeah. Tim Dillon. Yeah. Theo Vaughn. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:54 Tom Segura. Yeah. Burt Kreisner. And I'm sure there's like a bunch more, but those are the ones that are like- Podcast guys. Well, they're the guys who didn't go the traditional way. You did a Showtime special, corporate special. I did.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Probably next time would produce it yourself, put it on YouTube. I did a Netflix one that came out this year, at the beginning of the year. What was that called? Cheeseburger. Thanks for watching. I need to introduce. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth.
Starting point is 00:03:23 I say that for all my guests, but i mean it once again today it is a very special day for me this means a lot and i'll get into it i come in peace dana carvey who comes in peace and i come from the 80s you come from the 80s and you come yes cheers this was take me in the face yes and cheers me slow real slow is this a no just for you i like it slow. There. Okay, very good. Now a little sip. Mm-hmm. Ooh. Ah. What do you think? I think it's good. You think it's good?
Starting point is 00:03:54 And I'm not a whiskey drinker, but I think the ice helps mix drinks. It cools it down a little bit for you. Yeah. Like my uncle used to say, his Uncle Rock. His name was Rock? Uncle Rock. Uncle Rock. And he had a lot of charisma. He was a University of Montana basketball coach.
Starting point is 00:04:07 And he'd come around, and he's like, you want a Coke or you want a Super Coke? He's like, you want a Coke or a Super Coke? I'll take a Super Coke. And that just meant a tall glass all the way to the brim with ice, and then you pour the Coke over it. Now you got a Super Coke. Super Coke.
Starting point is 00:04:21 You know when you put a name on something, then kids go crazy? Super Coke. Well, Super Coke. Of course I want a Super Coke. But anyway, Andrew know when you put a name on something, then kids go crazy? Super Coke. Well, Super Coke. Of course I want Super Coke. But anyway, Andrew, if I could call you that. Has anyone ever called you Andy and not got punched? Let's not try it today on camera, Dana. No, Andy was a name they give you.
Starting point is 00:04:37 I was like assaulted with it. You don't seem like an Andy. But most people just call me Santino because it's my last name. Most people don't say Andrew. They say, if I see people on Santino because it's my last name. Most people don't say Andrew. They say... If I see people on the street and it's a fan, they always say Santino. As if they're
Starting point is 00:04:51 old friends of mine. I think that does have a Sopranos kind of gangster-y... Santino. Hey, Santino's coming. Hey, Andy's coming by. No, Santino. Hey, guys, what's up? Santino. Yeah, you could just be Santino. Drop the Andrew. I usually like a Cher, Sting, Santino, hey guys, what's up? Santino. Yeah, you could just be Santino. Drop the andro. I usually am.
Starting point is 00:05:08 Most people do that. Share, sting, Santino. Share, sting, Santino? Is that my... So you off-the-grid rebel motherfuckers. Yeah, we are. Making your own ecosystem outside of NBC, ABC, RR, and do your little specials, but probably Shane did his on YouTube,
Starting point is 00:05:24 and now he's playing... Huge theaters. You always hear the Yeah. But probably, you know, Shane did his on YouTube. Yeah. And now he's playing. They go from. Huge theaters. You always hear the trajectory of a comedian, you know. We interviewed him a year ago, Spade and I. Yeah. He's like, well, they want me to do theaters, you know. And then it's theaters.
Starting point is 00:05:36 And then I guess it's like sheds or, you know, basketball courts. And then it's arenas. Right. There is something in between arenas. Then one more. What's top of that? Stadiums. Yeah, stadiums.
Starting point is 00:05:47 All right, next time we talk to Chris Rock, because he had just before, it was before the Will Smith thing, and he graduated him and Chappelle to stadiums, which I think in Europe is like 80. That's insane. So I call him Stadium Chris. Oh, he's Stadium Chris now? Well, I call him Stadium Chris, because stadiums are stadiums, man.
Starting point is 00:06:04 What was the Will Smith thing you were talking about? What happened? Something. Just a dispute? How to have a new angle on that whole thing. Oh, man. I think somebody said online that there was a lawsuit and he won a lawsuit. Chris' suit of Will Smith?
Starting point is 00:06:19 Oh, for about the special? No, about the slap. Oh, the slap. That he sued him and he won. Is that true? That he sued him and won? No. Yeah the slap. Oh, the slap. That he sued him and he won. Is that true? That he sued him and won? No. Yeah, winning $40 million.
Starting point is 00:06:28 Hey. $40. No, that's not true. That's not real. That's the internet. Will Smith finally speaks now. I think that Chris could have. He could have said, you know, he'd be in court going, what?
Starting point is 00:06:37 What'd you say? Yeah. Hearing loss. What was that? It was this side of my head. It was the other side. Right. Wasn't it the other side?
Starting point is 00:06:45 Bull, it transferred over when it was the other side. Right. Wasn't it the other side? Uh, bull. It transferred over when it hit so hard, it came out. Uh, uh, one of the great spectacles of modern global media was that. Yeah. It was amazing.
Starting point is 00:06:55 I loved every second of it. Yeah. And I think we need more violence at award shows. Oh my God. I mean, you know, the, the,
Starting point is 00:07:02 the brilliant, maybe it was just not planned, but if someone knew secretly there was a war going on between those two guys and Jaden was there and they go, hey, should we put in, like, make the stage a little higher and put the seats back in case anyone got, you know, got a hot head, because it was like a beeline. It was perfect. A flat, perfect 35-foot beeline.
Starting point is 00:07:24 Now, in the old Oscars, 70s, you would have had John Wayne stand up. Nicholson would have tackled you. You would have had to go over. It never would have happened, is my point. It wouldn't have been so convenient. That could trend. Is this a QAnon theory that we're going to get into? I just want to be trending when I'm done with this.
Starting point is 00:07:39 The worst thing I can be is old and boring. You're not old or boring. Thank you. You're a legend. Santino, listen. be as old and boring. You're not old or boring. Thank you. You're a legend. I have so many things to tell you that I don't want to get too complimentary because your ego, as everybody knows, is way too big already.
Starting point is 00:07:53 No, no. Everyone in Hollywood talks about it. What I do on podcasts, it's a real, I think it's a privilege to be able to say nice things to people. All right, I'm going to say it right now. But as long as they're sincere.
Starting point is 00:08:05 I mean, everything I say, I mean. When I say to Steve Martin, you were such an influence with me when you did Excuse Me, because it was just a rhythm, and I definitely did a bit based on that. That was just fun to say. Well, you influenced me to a degree.
Starting point is 00:08:17 I don't know if I could tell you without it sounding a little... I've seen some of your stuff, and I do see... I feel... You're not a thief. You're just influenced. No, but I borrow from you.
Starting point is 00:08:27 No, borrow from me. You should, of course. I have a church guy bit, and that one— The church guy bit. People go, is that like church lady? I'm like, totally different. Okay, but what was the compliment part? I probably talked over my own compliment.
Starting point is 00:08:38 I talked over my own compliment. Well, I'll say this. Beyond the fact that I grew up— Beyonce fact. Beyonce's fact is... Do you have any more of these? Yeah. I'm fine.
Starting point is 00:08:49 Beyond the fact that I grew up like falling in love with you over and over and over again through SNL, but then... But give me the numbers, though. What bonded us... Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:58 What bonded my love for you comedically was Wayne's World. My mother and I would watch Wayne's World so much that now, to this day, if she calls me sometimes, I'll go, what's going on? And she'll go, she's okay. She'll say that to me over the phone. And it's just those things like laid in my brain my whole life.
Starting point is 00:09:16 It was like that movie. And I mean, there's a million of them like that. But that movie in particular. I didn't have any other movie like that because that was the only movie that I got to write my character stuff. Penelope Spheeris would say, what are you going to do here? Garth was going to have a moment. And then the only direction was, could you do it 10 seconds faster? Just quicker.
Starting point is 00:09:38 Just, yeah. If you're going to spew, spew into this. I mean, I was able to get the script, respectively, wind in Garth's stuff, knowing it was Wayne's world. And, you know, here's an example of how things can go wrong,
Starting point is 00:09:51 how money can be the enemy of comedy. Yeah. So on the first one, we're just, put us on the ampacer, we're at the airport, you know,
Starting point is 00:09:59 did you ever get attracted to Bugs Bunny or whatever he said? I don't know. She's a baby. She could be baby or I'm Lincoln. We shoot it in 45 minutes.
Starting point is 00:10:06 We throw it away. Mike gets the giggles. We keep it in there like as if he's really laughing at Garth. The second movie with the budget, it's like a four day shoot. There's like nine cameras. Three different, you know. It's funny you say that because I wanted to talk to you about that scene. I rewind that.
Starting point is 00:10:22 I will watch that scene on YouTube because it makes me laugh every time it gives me this feeling that I know exactly what happened with you guys. Whenever I've been on set and improv,
Starting point is 00:10:31 I don't know if that line, if he didn't know that was coming, but he sure as fuck didn't look like it because when you said, did you ever find him attractive? I've repeated it so much,
Starting point is 00:10:39 I can imitate his, the way he goes, no. No? The way he hits it the second time makes me think he had no clue it was coming. And then that's when you go, neither did I. I can hear him laughing.
Starting point is 00:10:52 They left in the laugh in the audio. Yes. Where he's laughing through the take. Yes. And it was deliberate, right? You guys went over it and you were probably like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:11:00 leave it in, leave it in, leave it in. Penelope Spheres, I give her credit. She led us like, if you're into like folklore or whatever. Yeah, it in. Penelope Spheres, I give her credit. She led us, like, if you're into, like, folklore or whatever. Yeah, we are.
Starting point is 00:11:07 So the day, okay, so I was going to do the, he goes for the dream girl with the foxy lady. So I was going to do What's New Pussycat? But Steve Martin, they go, oh, he just did that in Father of the Bride. Which is fine. So then I went to that, and then it was 21 hours on the set. You know, it's so heroic. We're almost dead.
Starting point is 00:11:29 We're the greatest film crew ever. So I'm as tired as I've ever been in my life, and there was a lot of out of focus because the crew was literally shot. There were flags in the thing. So then it was going to be bounced after the first preview. It just was cut to pieces. It didn't work at all.
Starting point is 00:11:43 But to her credit, she let me go in there and reformulate it and made it palatable. But were you saying they couldn't rack focus quick enough and they didn't have time to do another take, so you were like,
Starting point is 00:11:54 whatever, it's blurry, who cares? It was 21st hour and they think they got it, but it was just at the end of the night. I'd been there since 6 a.m. and there was just a lot of technical issues. And, you know, so... At Stan Mikita's. At Stan Mikita's? At Stan Mik technical issues. And, you know, so. At Stan Mikita's.
Starting point is 00:12:06 At Stan Mikita's? At Stan Mikita's. Well, here's the thing. Here's the emotional underpinning of that movie. I want to be Garth. I want to. And who doesn't want to be Wayne and Garth? They live with their parents.
Starting point is 00:12:18 They have an AMC Pacer. They just cruise around. They don't really have anything. Well, they go to Gasworks every night. Yeah. They can go. And they're the happiest people works every night. Yeah. They can go. And they're the happiest people in the town. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:27 Because they're ritualizing everything, you know. And the freakily satisfying syncopation of movement when the heads went. And the reason that landed, because people have asked me about it. So because it wasn't, here's a heavy metal song, and we'll start doing that. We meandered way off into this operatic thing. No, but... The song is completely deconstructed. We're way over, way, way away.
Starting point is 00:12:54 And then in syncopation with that note. It's very potent, even though it's very simple. No, but it worked so perfectly. It was like every time I saw that, it made that song mean something to me because when I was a kid, it didn so perfectly. It was like every time I saw that, it made that song something, mean something to me because when I was a kid, it didn't really.
Starting point is 00:13:07 That wasn't, Bohemian Rhapsody wasn't really, my generation didn't really grow. Yeah. That was like a thing that we were like, I know that song, but it wasn't as iconic until that.
Starting point is 00:13:14 That movie kind of like stamped it for my generation. Yes. I didn't, I wasn't as into that song as some of their other stuff, but I was aware of them. But then later on,
Starting point is 00:13:23 you go, eh, that, you know, Queen was pretty, pretty fucking great. I mean, Fat Bottom Girls was more my speed when I was aware of them. But then later on, you go, eh. That, you know, Queen was pretty fucking great. I mean, Fat Bottom Girls was more my speed when I was a kid. But Another One Bites the Dust. I mean, just We Are the Champions, the emotion of it and the melody of it is like you can't, no one's come up with a better anthem
Starting point is 00:13:38 for someone who's just won a world championship. We are the champions. You know what I mean? And what were they referring to? I don't know. When you think of, what was Queen even talking about? I think it's just like in life. We just beat everybody at everything?
Starting point is 00:13:49 Everyone uses that now, man. He's winning. How's Bobby Lee? He's winning, Andrew. Oh, he's winning hard. They're winning hard. Are you winning hard right now? I'm winning all the time.
Starting point is 00:13:57 I don't know when that came in. He's winning hard? Winning hard. Or take an L. You know you're about taking an L? Now I'm in the long arc of life, so I'm kind of like, I have a short runway. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Starting point is 00:14:08 So now I'm kind of like, I'm playing with house money. I don't really, what can happen to me? You know what I mean? Well, I can't wait to see. He sets himself up. Dana Carvey canceled right after saying, what could happen to me? We cut away.
Starting point is 00:14:22 Oh, I could get canceled. I'm constantly editing myself. So, I mean, Spade and I's podcast is not incendiary. It's kind of sweet and silly. Well, you two are both very sweet. You have a similar demeanor. I don't know you at all. I've just met you, and I know David in the way that
Starting point is 00:14:38 Spade is clever and funny and very small. That's not a shot at him. That's not a shot. But he's small in his comedy world of like he knows how to take something. You know, a lot of guys of his generation did that, I think, too. Like Norm was so good at taking something really minutia. And then like just rolling back the onion, like, holy shit, Dave does the exact same thing. And you are bigger personality, but your comedy also comes from something.
Starting point is 00:15:05 The core of it's really, really small. I like nonsensical things. That's where my brain would go to most happily than jokes. Spade is great. He goes to the store. Something happens or, you know, the valet guy doesn't get the ticket. And then he's got four minutes of self-deprecating, finely tuned, funny stand-up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:25 The thing about Norm, because sometimes you get on those YouTube shorts, you know, and so it feeds you what you're doing. So Norm, in one of them, he just has this big, happy Norm face. Like, he's really smiling and so joyous as he does the phallus things. He's a one-off. I mean, there's only one. Yeah, he was one of one. There only was one Norm.
Starting point is 00:15:47 Tell me, was there any sketches or characters that you wrote for the show that never made it that to this day you're like, God, why wouldn't, that would have been, I loved it so much it never went through? You know, probably not. No, nothing. No.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Like Norm, I've told this story before, but Norm I met when I was 22 years old at a coffee shop here in L.A. And he sat with me and a friend and basically just chatted because we were writing sketches and writing bits. He just chatted with us and he told us a story about how him and Smigel wrote. Group of Works or something? No, no, no, sorry. For Tracy, they wrote Brian Fellows.
Starting point is 00:16:28 And he talked about the impetus. And Lauren hated the sketch. He hated it. But it killed so hard, they finally put it in. Yeah. But he said he did that kind of out of spite because they had pitched a bunch of stuff, I guess,
Starting point is 00:16:38 and Lauren was like, I don't like it. And then he was like, all right, we'll do it during the table and we'll see how much everybody hates it. So they tried to make it bad on purpose yeah him and smigel were kind of you know giving him the finger through the script like okay you don't like it then here but you didn't have anything that you wrote that you really my whole story on there was just unique because i
Starting point is 00:16:57 i'd never done sketch comedy just stand up yeah and then i go get on the show after not trying you know i followed kennison at the store at midnight. I mean, I bombed so hard. Well, after him, it must have been impossible. Yeah. Because his energy level. Beyond the fact, no. Prime Kennison.
Starting point is 00:17:15 And now, welcome to Shire of Canara. There wasn't even an emcee. It was just, ah, ah, just screaming. Pete Kennison, maybe the best to ever do it in his prime. And then here's Dan Danny Flarfo. They never got my name right. And I go, the church ladies are like this. So just death, death.
Starting point is 00:17:37 So when I get on SNL, freakily, because I got a manager who knew Lauren, you know, well, do you know the story, how I got on SNL? No. Oh. Well, I'd auditioned at the comedy store twice and bombed. I never was good at that room. Because then you go out in the suburbs, Ice House, and you levitate the room. What I call levitate.
Starting point is 00:17:51 I don't know what you guys say. When it's just crushing. When you kill. Kill. When you destroy. Then you come in with your best joke at the improv. And just swing and a miss, you know? So, the alarm was coming around again that 85 had had a rough season. They fired everybody but Lovitz and Nora Dunn or whatever.
Starting point is 00:18:07 And so he'll come see you. So I go, okay, I can't do it at the Improv Comedies store. So there was a 100-seater called Igby's in the west side. Igby's. Igby's. 100-seater, low ceiling, hot club, civilian crowd. Rosie O'Donnell, who I'd never met. Yeah, you can get a picture of it
Starting point is 00:18:25 rosie o'donnell was headlining she agreed to have me come in i was going to bring lauren michaels so that was it i'd done 10 years of stand-up warren's gonna come see me so i'm standing off to the side and lauren walks in like oh shit that's lauren michne Michaels and then the head of the network walks in Brandon Tarkoff I go fuck it's the head of NBC and then Cher walked in she was just hanging with him just hanging out you know you can do all this
Starting point is 00:18:55 and get a little Cher in there so I did well enough and that's how I got the show basically yeah but he did Lorne and you like immediately have I feel like again not knowing you i feel like you probably bonded quick over there and was quick to get in a lot of people have these political struggles when they get over there like you hear all these so many of my friends are on the show and have been on the show yeah and you hear a lot of pain of the political
Starting point is 00:19:19 dance and some people just click right away and some people it just it's it's just a grind like did you click with him right away and he – Yeah, I mean he said come out to Long Island and stay for a while. And I didn't know. So I went out in August. I was playing a pizza parlor in Martinez like a 20-seater in July. Then I auditioned and then now I'm at Lorne Michaels' house. Just staying with him?
Starting point is 00:19:44 Just staying with Lorne. And I looked around, and the cast wasn't there. It was just A. Whitney Brown was a writer. He was there. And it was just Lorne and me. And I'd never been around a rich person. Like, he had a refrigerator that had just 100 Amstel lights on one side and then Pellegrinos on the other side.
Starting point is 00:20:01 That was his fridge? So he was so intimidating but also charming. But Chevy Chase came around, said he liked my audition tape. in the other side that was his friend so he's so intimidating but also charming but um chevy chase came around said he liked my audition tape and then you know i think i've told this so many times but then paul mccartney and lynn mccartney would come over each night um and hang out you know that's so absurd i know did you ever feel when you first when the mccartney's came and ever feel when you first when the mccartney's came and hung for the first time were you like trying really hard to not like make a scene and because you're like i don't want them to think i'm something i just want to like kind of blend totally trying to figure it out yeah for some
Starting point is 00:20:37 reason i made a good move and i don't know why but i knew that you, who wrote Twist and Chow? You know, I didn't want to go Beatles. So there was an album of his, Tug of War. So I was very nervous, but I finally, there's only five of us there, and I go, when you wrote the chorus for Tug of War, the title song, I go, uh-huh, uh-huh. I said, when you said, someday we'll stand up on the mountain with our flag unfurled, but it won't be soon enough for me,
Starting point is 00:21:04 what were you thinking of? It was over at that point. I was thinking of mountain with our flag unfurled, but it won't be soon enough for me. What were you thinking of? It was over at that point. I was thinking of a big old flag, you know, wondering, wondering, you know, is this symbol of where we're going? So it was such a specific compliment. People always ask me, what do I say to someone? I say, find the most obtuse thing they've done.
Starting point is 00:21:21 Like, say, one of your specials. Yeah. Just this obscure one line. And suck them in. After that, like say one of your specials, just this obscure one line. So after that, they were kind of friendly, and then Paul had a song, a CD of a song he just did in New York and wanted to play it
Starting point is 00:21:35 for us. Oh, God. Around Chevy Chase, Lorne Michaels, Linda Paul, and I'm here next to Paul, so he's going to put the song on. You know, I mean, again, I was just outer space. I was just a club comic, you know, a week before. How old were you then? Uh, 31. 31. Yeah. So then he leaned in and I'll never forget it. And it's direct quote. And I'll sound just like he did as it starts. He says to me, his new confidant, sometimes when you're
Starting point is 00:22:02 writing, you try so hard to live up to whatever you end up ruining the fucker and then the song starts and he's looking at me you know do you feel like when you listen to music that somebody like i've had musician friends that play music for me yeah it's hard to look at them and listen because you have to be like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you can't really feel it because you're afraid of making a face. It's almost like watching someone shit with them. You can't do it because you're like, I don't want them to see me reacting to this.
Starting point is 00:22:33 Because even if I do one little like of that, they're like, what is that? You didn't like the turn? It's really hard. Sometimes you'll get a compliment and someone will change the the word like you come off stage and they go that that uh that was really good you know they they they had great and then it faded out you know i don't know how needy are you when you or not needy you come off you do a set i leave you just go straight out i leave immediately you don't want anyone to go no good set no No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:23:05 The anxiety for me is like the moment I walk off stage, I like, I'm gone. Hey, that was great. Gone. I'm already gone. I'm in my car. I can't even hear you say that. What's the compliment that would make you believe you had a hot set? Well, it was good.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Louis Black actually said to me, we just did a show together on the Chrysler thing, and it meant a lot. Louis, as I walked away, I said, I just want to tell you it's great to meet you. I've been a fan for a long time. And he grabbed my arm and was just like, that janitor bit, that is a good bit. Because it was specific. Yeah, that was like huge to me.
Starting point is 00:23:38 Or even something like a throwaway, like Colin Quinn or those guys. When I walked off stage at the Cellar, we were spending some time in New York, and he's like, funny bits, Santino. It's small from him, and he may never remember it, but those things sink me. I'm like, oh, my God, a million fans. That's the funniest. And you're like, okay, but thank you.
Starting point is 00:24:00 But when somebody you know says something super small, there's something about it that gets you good. But I don't want to hear it from friends because it makes me anxious when friends like when you walk off it's just i gotta go it's more if it's your friends is more like that bit's really working you know now that's good right i think your setup yeah that one line kind of turned it you know are you still are you still wanting to continue stand up i would i just i'm spread so thin i don't know how to really be a nightclub comic consistently and then do the podcast, and then they've got us doing a production company
Starting point is 00:24:32 and then more podcasts, and I don't know. You could do it at your age. I mean, how many nights do you go on the road? You know, it depends on, like, what I'm working on. Right now, Bobby and I were touring. Now we're going to tour again in the fall because the success of it was kind of pretty great, and you know i'm building a new hour so i'm gonna keep i'm gonna go back out to clubs again to rebuild the hour but here in town you know three
Starting point is 00:24:53 nights a week i still do it if i can three or four nights and what's what's the store is my home yeah i started there big room yeah what was the thing about you with stand-up at this point? Because it'd be like, are you trying to sort of make it funnier or make it more interesting for yourself? I mean, there's a point because you've sort of mastered it. You're a headliner. You've done specials. You're like there. Yeah. So then it's like, okay, the new special.
Starting point is 00:25:18 Is it more of the same? Are you going to try it? Some people try to go a little more real or personal. Some people, you know. I mean, or none of it. I want to take more time on a subject matter and then really get into it. I feel like a lot of times in the past I would do a great joke about something and then move on to a great joke about something, move on to a great joke. I'm trying a little bit harder now to, like, have a deeper through line into something.
Starting point is 00:25:44 I feel like it's a bigger payoff for me to really see how far I can dig into one thing. And how much do you use your ear? Because you can do you do accents
Starting point is 00:25:52 you do impressions. I try to. Yeah. But I mean I fade in and out of like getting scared of doing them. You're so natural.
Starting point is 00:26:00 Really? Well I was terrified for the first three years when I was in college to do a character. But you base it on everyone you know, right? The characters? Yeah, I was terrified for the first three years when I was in college to do a character. But you base it on everyone you know, right? The characters? Yeah, like yours are typically based on humans, not just famous people, but humans you know.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Yeah, and then I like, because like with Biden now, which is interesting enough what a hot oven it was in 2020. And now it's really turned where, mean i've distilled it i mean i'm building it because now i'm walking and i do that he if he was the old man in the village with a long beard and a cane he'd be fine so now that sound i'm making right now has become it builds to that yeah but when i can just so people walk i was going so it's there um that's starting to kill that's that's because of what's happening societally well it's also like what you did with bush kind of did it did this great trick where even people that hated bush yeah fell in love with him because of it it's almost like you you twisted it back and i would
Starting point is 00:27:04 say maybe that's the opposite with biden where even people that like really loved biden that fell in love with him because of it. It's almost like you, you twisted it back. And I would say, maybe that's the opposite with Biden, where even people that like really loved Biden that are either upset or not happy with, you know, what's going on. They may take that as almost like a, people would be like, Oh, do you like him or not like him? I know it's a little weird. Cause I, you know, I was, you just trying to find the line. I mean, if, if I if i abstract it if if you're coming off as a if you're a teacher it's different if your vibe is i have a political agenda and i'm going to work it through this which is fine great you know mort saw it was a friend of his you know political comedy uh for me uh because those you know if you did a perfect crisp plat or, you know, the politicians are kind of the last
Starting point is 00:27:45 where everyone knows them. Yeah. And then I just want to abstract it. I still want people, I want, it makes me laugh really hard if I can abstract it that far and they're taking the ride with me. Right.
Starting point is 00:27:58 That's really the sweet spot. See, I get afraid of doing celebrity impressions. I tested for SNL, I don't even know now. Like eight years ago. Why would you be afraid? Like it's not accurate? Yeah, because my impressions or my characters were always based on humans I knew,
Starting point is 00:28:12 and that was easier for me. Like when I tested, I did. The football coach or whatever. Yeah, high school football coach. Like what would that voice sound like? Well, I would do southern high school football coach. Down and back. Y'all going to go down and back.
Starting point is 00:28:23 Water ain't going to be for you if you can't touch both lines. So that's pre-Ted Lasso. Yeah, yes. Good. And my dad grew up in North Carolina, so I would hear all these Southern voices. Yeah. And that became, like before Galifianakis did his brother,
Starting point is 00:28:39 which he eventually did on Baskets, I used to have an effeminate Southern character because my father's best friend talked exactly like this so why can't you do that because zach did his brother doing that i know it just it's too close to him right it just feels like someone will be like that's galifianakis's thing because he would do that because he had north carolina yeah i know it was too close it's a bit of a shame because that is like when I do Al Gore, I tell the audience afterwards, I say it's not, it has nothing to do with anything other than a Tennessee gentleman. I take umbrage fine, madam. And so my abstraction with him is that I have him
Starting point is 00:29:20 be sort of a metrosexual with lotions. Right. And I'm molly-sized and I'm sulfur-sized and I'm buttock-sized, inner thigh, outer thigh. I'm moisturized. I'm a Tennessee gentleman. And I don't really care about accuracy as much. I just abstract it, you know. Yeah, because then you give something for people to hold on to, even if it's far off.
Starting point is 00:29:40 But that's why I was always impressed by like my, my, I grew up in Chicago and then the, the Harry Carey that was done really wasn't as Harry Carey as Harry Carey is. Right. But now everyone's impression of Harry Carey is exactly Will's. It's like you, yeah, you can't not,
Starting point is 00:29:59 but that's what's so good. Like almost all the characters you did, I believe those are the voices more so to me than they were in real life like when i would hear you do a character if you put if you put a recording of two people of the real person and your character i bet you i'd think that your character was the one because of how often i heard it i think i get bored too sometimes part of it is just i want to abstract it because i'm kind of bored yeah so after ross perot for you older people you know by by the end it's like can i finish one time yeah that was it can i finish one time i turn them into james brown can i finish one time can we go on the one can we
Starting point is 00:30:35 go on the one so that makes me the happiest is these abstractions yeah you know and uh so that is that part and then i broke the whisper into the yell which really works yeah that and i brought it it's still developing i brought it into my dad used to do that he would whisper in a patronizing you fucking idiot way like when he was when he was upset at you yeah oh jesus christ i can't talk politics with you because you don't know shit. It's really soft. And Biden's like, come on. Guess what?
Starting point is 00:31:10 Guess what? I wrote the bill. Because I know how to write a bill. I wrote the bill. Then every time the bill's back, the butter can't believe it's not butter. So it doesn't make any sense. I was doing Pirates of the Caribbean, but now I'm'm doing it always ends with can't believe it's not butter when you when is there is there people that you took from like childhood that also made its way into a bunch of characters brad is garth yeah your brother yeah we could we could call him now hi hi this is brad is that oh yeah you could talk like that
Starting point is 00:31:39 and he's a genius engineer and that's why you made garth kind of this yes he's a stun gun brad told me how that would happen with the battery pack. I'd like to get Biden now, you know. So that's a thing that the whole is greater than some of the parts. Why is the cutting off of that final word, it's like a song, you know. I'd like to get Biden now. If he said, I'd like to get Biden now. No, it doesn't work. Thanks, I'd like to get by now it now it doesn't work thanks i like to play
Starting point is 00:32:07 something about that right so the minute i rolled into it and i was doing it in my stand-up it always got a laugh did you improv the what's that the it's dan makita's was that improv when the camera flips or no it was probably not i don't know i feel like that because when i saw i just like that part of the discomfort and you go what's that I love that the camera flips with you
Starting point is 00:32:28 oh that might have been yeah because that sounds like just one of those lines they needed yeah that you were fucking around and you just wanted
Starting point is 00:32:34 to get out of it yeah it was so good because inside even inside the movie felt like Garth didn't want to do
Starting point is 00:32:42 the movie do you know what I mean it felt like it was so subversive it was like man Garthth didn't want to do the movie. Do you know what I mean? It felt like it was so subversive. It was like, man, Garth doesn't even want to do this fucking movie. Garth has his own lane in his own world, you know. Yeah. But it's funny when things are put on film and then time passes.
Starting point is 00:32:58 And then it's like, oh, is this some crazy cool thing or not? But then it's like, okay, what do you want to do before Mike comes in, Stan Makedis, because he's having trouble with his girlfriend so i just said well i'll play with these donuts you know yeah hey get away from me donut man this is such a silly it stayed in you know but those are the things you want to i'm glad they keep those stuff well that was i'll give lauren michaels credit because a lot of times i of times I'll get a little too esoteric, and I'm not like an engineer explaining what I'm doing.
Starting point is 00:33:30 So when he—I had this notion that he was so threatened by Rob Lowe's character that he was going to try to kill him. But he was making a mechanical hand that would do the task, you know. And so he's trying to finish it up, but Rob Lowe comes in too soon, and the hand starts moving, and it can't happen now, so that's when he smashes it. So it's some of the previous,
Starting point is 00:33:53 because a lot of the jokes are really telegraphed. There's a sexy woman, schwing, you know, everything is nice and clear. And then, like, what is this scene about? It sort of was lying there, you know? And there were people like, I think we've got to cut this scene.? It sort of was lying there, you know? And there were people like, I think we got to cut the scene. And then Laura Michaels said,
Starting point is 00:34:07 it's one of those things that 20 years from now, you'll see it and you'll be glad that it's there. He's right. Yeah, because that stands out to me. I never understood when I was a kid what that was for. I assumed, in my mind it was, Garth was bored because there's a lot of downtime in filming. Right.
Starting point is 00:34:28 Filming the Wayne's World show for them. Right, so he's just backstage. So he's like, yeah, to me it's like... That could be true, too. He was building... Whatever your backstory is just as true as my backstory. You know what I mean? Yeah, but you made it, so that's why.
Starting point is 00:34:40 No, that was my theory, but now I'm thinking, yeah, well, he does... They're on the set they have a lot of time around the set yeah I just assumed he was building stuff and I kind of
Starting point is 00:34:50 secretly wanted to come back at some point where it was like Garth built a entire human being and everyone's unimpressed in my mind
Starting point is 00:34:57 it would have been one of those moments where they're like Garth is that a guy and you're like just a friend and it's a full sized robot
Starting point is 00:35:04 yeah I'm calling him Bub the Robot you know as long as he has a little name he's happy is that a guy? And you're like, just a friend. Yeah. And it's a full-sized robot. Yeah, I'm calling him Bob the Robot. You know, as long as he has a little name, he's happy. You named him Bob? Bob? So many names, you could have named him.
Starting point is 00:35:12 Yeah, so, you know, so that's. It connected with me so deeply because as a Chicago kid too, Aurora was like, we fucking know Aurora,
Starting point is 00:35:21 we live close. Yeah, that's true. It was so soaked in my soul, even though as I got older, I learned how much of that was shot in LA. I mean yeah it was so soaked in my soul even though as i got older i learned how much of that was shot in la i mean it was they found towns that look kind of middle america it's burbanky though it feels like yeah it's not it's not really aurora but you meet people from
Starting point is 00:35:35 aurora and they're so excited to meet me because aurora right right that's my town but yeah it's it's so surreal to me because i i'm such a fan of movies and I think about Monty Python or whatever. And then to even be in that continuum in any way of a movie that people will see. But thank God they didn't smoke, drink. It's kind of a clean movie. Oh, yeah. There's only Schwing or Sphincter Says What. Which is such a great fucking line.
Starting point is 00:36:04 Sphincter says what? What? So that's... Yeah, there's no drinking at the nightclub either. No, they don't drink. They don't smoke. The red rope licorice that I did, since you guys know the movie so well,
Starting point is 00:36:14 and the MC Pacer, because one of my brothers was a red rope fanatic. And so that was just always eating red rope. You're like, we should put that in a light. Instead of having it... Because it was like a domed ceiling light. Yeah, it was a domed ceiling and it comes down. It was just fun.
Starting point is 00:36:29 With AI, could we do another one? I would love to. Can I just be there for the remake of it? You could be the new manager of Stan McKay's. What does he sound like? What's your favorite accent to do? Probably like a
Starting point is 00:36:45 hardcore Chicago I wish there was one well there is there is like a very like a I can't do it ripped the heart out of a man and you show it to him right before he dies yeah that was Ed O'Neill was awesome
Starting point is 00:36:59 what's the other guy that was there at the bar he had a Chicago accent that was Bill Murray's brother I Ed? Oh, yeah, yeah. He had a Chicago accent. I can't remember that actor's name. That was Bill Murray's brother, I think, who put on that. I think so. Was it? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:09 But I wish there was more deep, because Chicago is my favorite. Because growing up around it, it's almost like everyone has a little bit of an S-list up top. Yeah. And just the deepness of it is just so... It's very specific. That's great. I can't do that.
Starting point is 00:37:23 And you could be unintelligible, but sounds fine it's it sounds it always it's there's something about the accent that's heartwarming because you're like oh is he a brilliant idiot i can't tell if he's he could be a genius or a total dipshit i was in awe of the mid the chicago people new york people i mean as a kid i always thought the east coast could beat the hell out of the West Coast. Well, because you're a Montana kid. Yeah, I mean, I went there every summer in the Bay Area. But, yeah, anytime you see a Scorsese film or something like that, you know, you want something kind of funny. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:54 So I was talking to Joe Pesci. Pesh. The Pesh. He just had a phrase. We were talking about fighting or whatever. He goes, you got to Lady, you got to fight. I say it's a sugar bowl across the nose. A sugar bowl across the nose.
Starting point is 00:38:11 So he clearly had done that. Yeah. He clearly, there's guys around. He's reaching for the sugar bowl, and boom, right in the bridge of the nose. That was his fighting technique. Sugar bowl across. Son of a Lady, sugar bowl across the nose. And I asked him, do you know when you're in a brilliant scene like in Goodfellas,
Starting point is 00:38:25 do you guys kind of look around afterwards and go, what the fuck? Yeah. He goes, hey, just lock in.
Starting point is 00:38:30 Just lock in. Just lock in. That's it. Yeah, he feels like one of those guys that he just, yeah, he would say stuff like,
Starting point is 00:38:38 yeah, it was good. And you're like, no, it was amazing. He's like, I don't know. What do you know?
Starting point is 00:38:42 What are you going to do? Well, Sugar Bowl across. Well, that guy, you know, got out of show business like in 2000, became a musician. He never wanted to really do it, you know. Became a musician, has an album and stuff, singer.
Starting point is 00:38:53 Yeah. One of the great, now he's back. He's in Bupkis. He's humming again. Yeah. He's humming again. He's humming again. I want to ask you, because I watch, we talked,
Starting point is 00:39:02 Coney and I were talking about the documentary about your show. Oh, Coney. Coney watched the documentary? Yeah, he loved it. Well, we loved the show and I watched – I'll tell you the real story. Yeah, give me the real story. What was taken out that didn't end up in there?
Starting point is 00:39:14 What did you really want to leave in there? Well, there was just – it was a little more complicated because I had two kids and I really I wanted to do it on HBO. Because it was you do 10 episodes and take a year off. It really can fit into
Starting point is 00:39:36 your lifestyle. So 22 on a network. I won't blame anyone but I was sort of seduced into that model. Blame somebody. We know who it is. Go ahead and say it. Well—
Starting point is 00:39:47 Who did it to you? My manager wanted it there. Yeah. I think Louis and Robert, my partners—remember Louis C.K.? No. He's a good stand-up. What is he? You check him out.
Starting point is 00:39:56 Check him out. Louis? Louis? Yeah. Look up Louis C.K. Okay. I think they wanted the big toy box, you know, and prime time you're going to get a bigger budget. But later on, Chris Oliver at HPLC would have given us about the same.
Starting point is 00:40:10 In the end of the day now, it was kind of cool. We got shit on after I was, you know, with the teats with Bill Clinton. We were just lambasted. And so it was kind of cool later on. No, that was actually, we didn't even do anything blue, basically. I mean, it wasn't really blue, but it didn't belong after Spin City or Home Improvement. No. Because when they're seducing you, Bob Iger's in the room,
Starting point is 00:40:32 we want you to do everything you do on Saturday Night Live. Don't worry about it, kid. And then you get the ratings. We started at 16 million. Wow. And then after, by the time Clinton's going, I fed the nation and these teats will hail the world, it went down to like 3 million. Wow. And then after, by the time Clinton's going, I fed the nation and these teats will hail the world,
Starting point is 00:40:47 it went down to like three million. It was a... Dropping off. Yeah. Historic. Now, what did you like about the documentary?
Starting point is 00:40:54 I actually loved... Well, I loved... What I loved was... What'd you like about it? Well, we talked about... We said, you say Louis. Louis is kind of like a distant fate in that. Is that because of everything that happened that it was kind of like uh a distant fate in that is that because
Starting point is 00:41:05 of everything that happened that it was kind of like pulled louis out of the documentary a little bit i would have kept him in there i mean you know uh he he was the head writer i was sitting with louis and thought robert said meet louis and i thought you know talked to him some seemed really smart great writer yeah did the stupid pranksters where Carell almost killed himself. Yeah. Working so hard, veins popping out. But, yeah, I don't think artists can be canceled for Louis' thing. Am I trending now?
Starting point is 00:41:40 Am I trending and or canceled? Yeah, it didn't reach the definitional thing of me to say we're going to erase you. Sure. What about you, Andrew? In here, we pour whiskey. This episode of Whiskey Ginger is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand,
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Starting point is 00:45:54 Use that code whiskey to get free shipping. Ginger. I like gingers. You know, the cancel culture is a very well-worn and sort of tricky topic. It just feels sometimes like there's a level of avoidance always in our business when they're like, I don't want to. Yeah, there's soft canceling. How about this guy in the podcast? You know, how about this person?
Starting point is 00:46:19 You know, so there's soft canceling. It's not like official. Yeah, no. Well, it's not set in stone. The anti-cancels, can we get him? Can we get Santino? How can we get him? Can we get Santino?
Starting point is 00:46:30 Have you seen the downloads? Do you know what they're doing? Do you understand that Bert Kreisner can play a stadium in Munich? Yeah. Two of them. It'll probably be two. We played the Gorge. We played the Gorge in Washington.
Starting point is 00:46:44 It was 15,000 people. Yeah. That's what I mean. You'd probably be two. We played the gorge. We played the gorge in Washington. It was 15,000 people. Yeah. That's what I mean. You guys are badass rebels. Well, here's what... I'll tell you why. Creating this universal new global order of comedy. Because in your generation, you guys had Carson, and Carson could bless you.
Starting point is 00:46:59 And we didn't have that. I mean, like, Conan, your buddy Conan. I did Conan once. There's my card from Conan Conan, I did Conan once. There's my card from Conan. And, and, and, and I did Conan once. My generation doing Conan and all that stuff was huge, but it still didn't bless you the way that your generation got blessed. So we were fist fighting our first 10 years in standup to try to figure out how the fuck are we going to get up? It just didn't make sense. So when started headlining um you know like b rooms even getting like you know yeah 600 bucks and losing money getting there right we were all kind of
Starting point is 00:47:31 struggling to figure out what would it be it's either land a tv show right uh or snl snl sitcom hopefully or or you get into a uh a network like, you know, writing and working with other people who are already kind of cooking and they slide you in, so to speak. You know, you get a guest star here, a guest star there, and then it slowly shakes its way to the top. But I think the podcast world and all this stuff was a way to just go, okay, fuck it. We'll just talk to the audience. If they want to see it, they want to see it. And then it became obvious to them that they're like, well, I don't really want to hear who so-and-so says I should like. We'll just find out ourselves and we'll go see them.
Starting point is 00:48:09 What year did you get into it? What year were you? I mean I started doing – I started podcasting this show six or seven years ago. But I started getting into other people's eight or nine years ago. People had them and we would kind of do them. And I did Rogan years and years ago when I first met him. And then it slowly kind of carried into going, okay,
Starting point is 00:48:27 well this is the best way for someone to see me be funny, talk to someone I admire or respect. And then that was kind of the beginning of this new world order that we're living in. The misery index is completely defeated because you are your boss. You are your boss. You say what you want. I mean this,
Starting point is 00:48:41 I'm just glad I hung around long enough for this to happen. It's great. Because I had a podcast I did without a company called Fantastic where I would do 10-minute rants. You know, I had Fauci singing and all kinds of stuff. You know, I had running gags where Obama kept asking to come on the podcast because it was audio. Let me on.
Starting point is 00:49:00 Dana, am I on today? I'm sorry, man. My sister's coming on. She's a housewife from Connecticut instead of a former president. Michelle, no, I'm not on today. Nope, nope. Sister's going on. Dana, do you know how to trend?
Starting point is 00:49:15 I mean, do you understand numbers? So he became a running guest and things like that. It's stuff I have to do backstage. I mean, Kevin Neal and I would laugh ourselves silly doing Hans and Franz franz for five hours and then we had to distill it distill it distill it and then land it but yeah the funniest stuff is always who wrote hans and franz hans and franz you guys worked together kevin and i thought of it together and we wrote it together once we hatched it then conan liked it smigel liked it jim downey liked it people could come in and write for the let's try to write one now like if it goes like the girly man thing some of the classics are arnold could flick
Starting point is 00:49:50 you with his with his little finger easily and you would fly across the room and land in your own baby poop it doesn't even make sense so the guy is has baby poop over there and he's going to be flung back into it yeah why so don't undo your belt you might cause a flava launch just a pun you're right you know you're oh this one i particularly like your buttocks are like marsh meadows you're lucky we don't have a campfire here so they're threatening to burn this guy it's the most sadistic thing and once we once we knew they were never going to lift weights and they were just paranoid, delusional people fighting imaginary enemies,
Starting point is 00:50:28 and if you doubt us, they're just in a cave-in. If you don't think we're properly pumped, we could very easily come to your house and pump you into the cry like a little baby. We stretch the flap of your back into the shape of a rope ladder so you can crawl down into the sewer
Starting point is 00:50:43 because that's where Louis Huss lived. I mean, it's poetry for me. I mean, that still might be the thing that makes me laugh the most, those word packages. Where did the accent come from? We saw, we were on, we, meaning Kevin, Dennis, and I,
Starting point is 00:50:59 did a little tour after my first year of SNL. Church Lady was huge, so that was a whole other story. Were you doing Church Lady on stage, too, or no? I would. Yeah. Did you write stand SNL. Church Lady was huge, so that was a whole other story. Were you doing Church Lady on stage too or no? I would. Yeah. Did you write stand-up for Church Lady? Church Lady was part of my stand-up.
Starting point is 00:51:12 I didn't come out as a Church Lady in an hour of stand-up or 70 minutes. I might do three minutes. It was just talking about church. We were Lutheran, Catholic life. We would miss a lot of Sundays, and we'd come in, and the church ladies would go, well, well, well.
Starting point is 00:51:28 Apparently, some of us only come to church when it's convenient. So that was the end, and then it went to infinity from there. But just as an insert, because that happened to be on the first show, my first show of SNL, we're just doing the read-throughs.
Starting point is 00:51:43 The week's going on. I don't even know where I am. I didn't even know what the cold opening was. We're just going through the week. Neil Young came and said to Lauren, do you have someone to complain an old lady would interrupt me in Madison Square Garden on Wednesday night?
Starting point is 00:51:57 He knew of the character. He goes, so I went to Madison Square Garden three days before my first SNL and interrupted Neil Young. Wow, what's all this noise? All that stuff. Can you believe it? So Phil Hartman, the late, great best friend of mine, he and John Lovitz, he said, I think we should try The Church Lady.
Starting point is 00:52:17 So that got on the show, barely. Right. It was the final one. And then it got flipped after it killed. The minute I, like, I was so fucking nervous. Trying it for the first one and then it got flipped after it killed the minute I like I was so fucking nervous trying it for the first time on the show
Starting point is 00:52:29 yeah and in the dress for the first time and the Sigourney Weaver's there Victoria Jackson the crowd's there it's
Starting point is 00:52:36 we gotta hit the ground running the first time the show ever didn't get a full season pick up we were told if we don't hit the ground running this is they're gonna pull it up
Starting point is 00:52:42 what year that's 80 86 86 was the first time they were like we'll give you half yeah we'll get one time yeah so then victoria does her and jesus said this and she said so i just laid in isn't that special boom huge laugh then that was like and then i got to do chopping broccoli at the end of the show and i did um the cold opening but i didn't know i was in the cold opening with phil and jan so that really really helped me.
Starting point is 00:53:06 When you put on the dress, did it make you chuckle every time you put on the dress? Like, does the lay into the character? Well, it's funny, because I knew immediately that she was going to be androgynous. So there was people around like, and we'll fit you for this, and lipstick. No, she is completely androgynous.
Starting point is 00:53:23 And, you know, when I put the wig on and the thing on, and I look in the mirror, I go, that's a really potent character. Yeah. That's a potent, judgmental, you know. It looks like most of the nuns I grew up with. Yeah. It's like every nun I ever saw. And the religious people, my mother-in-law's Irish Catholic, they loved it. Leslie Jones said the black churches went crazy for it.
Starting point is 00:53:44 So everyone loved it And you know I came from the cone heads Guess what they had cone heads So the church lady There was a period of time they wanted to give her a name I go really So for one episode she was named Enid Strick
Starting point is 00:53:59 Enid Strick Yeah Church lady is just more pump pump Church lady That's what you'd call them as a kid. The church ladies. Wait, go back and tell me about the Hans and Franz on tour. Well, on tour, Kevin lived in Germany for a period of time,
Starting point is 00:54:13 so he kind of had an accent. So he saw Arnold on TV, and we made a poem out of it. So Arnold is the guy that everything in life he's got figured out in a great way. And everything's very simple. And he says it very slowly. You know, when you're traveling, you want to get the workout in. So you run the stairs. You run the stairs at the hotel.
Starting point is 00:54:34 You get back to your room. You take a nice light shower. You put on a white cotton shirt. And you're ready for the evening. And it always ended with you're ready for the evening. So we were doing that crazy driving Dennis Miller crazy. Okay, Hans and Franz again, fellas. All right.
Starting point is 00:54:49 Let me guess. So they end with, that's ready for the evening. That's a pithy moniker. Okay, that'll light up a t-shirt. But anyway, so we went from there and then we were on the phone one night and I'd come up with,
Starting point is 00:55:01 and we want to bump. You are almost making fun of catchphrases you know we want to bump we have a catchphrase you cannot defeat it you know and then Kevin was the one who said and if you don't believe us and the minute he said that if you doubt us we went off giggling for an hour
Starting point is 00:55:18 because it's just yeah if you think you could come and compel yourself to our muscles you're sadly mistaken look in the mirror what do you see it's almost flirtatious If you think you could come and compare yourself to all muscles, you're sadly mistaken. Look in the mirror and what do you see? It's almost flirtatious is why it's funny. Well, it became because I get bored and like to abstract things. And also they had the black limiter. Yeah, the gaff.
Starting point is 00:55:35 So that would go on and then I didn't want to smear it. So I would be like this for a few and I'd look in the mirror and suddenly it looked like he was looking at me. I'm stronger than you. And so I started, plus I was the smaller guy. So I took it further and further until, again, it had nothing to do with sexuality. It was just someone so pleased with himself.
Starting point is 00:55:57 It's slangorious. Can you believe how properly pumped I am? And so then that kept making me laugh harder. So that prevented me from getting bored. Because when I get bored, I get flat. Right. That's why by the end, going, nah, can't do it like that, I was still intrigued by the character. I wasn't bored because who knew
Starting point is 00:56:13 it was insane. But when it goes abstract, that's what, like, the rhythm that you guys took from the Arnold part that I liked was, Arnold, and everyone has an impression of Arnold, but the beauty of what those do is it's almost like he's a guy that assumes you don't speak english well you know i mean the way he says stuff he's like you know in the shower you know the shower
Starting point is 00:56:36 yeah he's explaining to you you're like yeah i know what a fucking shower yeah he's like but if you wrap early it's gonna get wet everywhere You know the water will be. See, you've got a good ear. But what that did well was almost like you're explaining to people as if they don't. It's like, how do you not get it? It's interesting you point that out because I sometimes do this bit that when he was governor, he would talk to us like we were in grade school. Yeah. And there was a fire in Simi Valley and the fire is growing in the mountain.
Starting point is 00:57:04 And the firefighters look in the telescope and they go, no, no, there's a fire in Simi Valley, and the fire's growing in the mountain. And the firefighters look in the telescope, and they go, no, no, there's a fire. And they get on the fire truck with the hooking ladder. Beep, beep, you know. Beep, beep, you know. And then they unwrap the horses and put the water on the fire. And the fire's like, I don't like this. I don't like water on me. And they go, no, we're going to do it anyway.
Starting point is 00:57:22 So, yeah, it's just that. That's the genius of arnold what accents do you think so we do people joke with me on the internet because i'll do a bunch of different accents like i grew up when we moved to the suburbs my next door neighbors were indian and my and i became good friends with their son and we grew up together and i would emulate him and then now and if i did it for years yeah and then in this day and age it's so funny people like oh you can't you can't do that but you're like yeah but it's because
Starting point is 00:57:46 I love this guy and I'm doing an impression of someone I know and it doesn't the hardest thing about accents and characters to me is people sort of
Starting point is 00:57:55 have made up their own rules over why or why not certain ones are okay yeah and it's but like what is that about I don't understand
Starting point is 00:58:03 if you're like well if there's love behind it I don't see why it's not okay. If it's vitriol, if it feels like I'm doing this to be mocking, then it's obvious. That's different. It's different. But I believe people are smart enough to know the difference. But when I was a kid, my neighbor and I, we would – I would emulate his dad because his dad was very sweet and everything was simple.
Starting point is 00:58:25 emulate his dad because his dad was very sweet and yeah everything was simple andrew come over and we come inside and yeah i take take a bite of the meal and then you can go back out and play but he wants to be here and i would that's good because it's really nice and real yeah it's real but it's not and it's not me being like don't i sound stupid it's me saying that's exactly what i heard when i was a kid but but it is funny that now on the internet, people get weird about it. What's the one that you wish you could still do that you maybe did before that you don't do anymore? Well, I was doing, I used to, I did accents around the world a little bit.
Starting point is 00:58:57 And that was a way of kind of doing all of them that, you know, before language, everyone grunted. So even a guy in France, you know, they didn't, we didn't have language or words. But eventually some guy in the plains of France went, he's pointing to the water, and they didn't get it. You know, so it's like that language thing. And then with India, I was doing, I'll probably get canceled for this,
Starting point is 00:59:22 but it was just that the lilting, because I have a very good friend who's the director of cardiology at Cedars-Sinai. And so when I do events for them, he wants me to do him. Of course. And he just talks like this. He's a brilliant doctor. First thing you must know is you're going to be all right. You know?
Starting point is 00:59:41 I mean, you're going to be okay, and it's going to be good. I just did an event, and I did it. I mean, he's just laughing his ass be okay and it's going to be good I just did an event and I did it and he's just laughing his ass off because it's endearing there's nothing yeah
Starting point is 00:59:49 and I'm doing Dr. Shaw right I'm not doing an Indian accent yes I'm just doing Dr. Shaw the one that I thought
Starting point is 00:59:56 was kind of it's talking about the origin of language and what I did I don't do this now but I was doing that the copacetic lilting language
Starting point is 01:00:04 of the Indian accent was because it was a trade route so it had I did, I don't do this now, but I was doing that, the copacetic, lilting language of the Indian accent was because it was a trade route, so it had a very mudududu or dabada. Taking and receiving. Will you? I will know. So that rhythm, it's coming from that, and then this one
Starting point is 01:00:20 I couldn't do, but it was, this one's always killed, I said. And in Japan, that really cool guttural thing came from all the earthquakes. So they'd be like, you know, so, you know,
Starting point is 01:00:37 you run that by Bobby Lee or anybody you want to run it by, but. No, but that is great. That's like California earthquakes. That's why everyone is like, oh,
Starting point is 01:00:46 whoa, whoa, man, Whoa, man! Whoa, man! But I talk about, you know, I'm Norwegian and Irish, and so I talk about them. And the Norwegians are obviously not very bright because they... I mean, no one would talk like that. So anyway, but...
Starting point is 01:01:03 Well, we can make fun... They always say, like, you make fun of yourself. You're like, yeah, you can also make fun of those that you that. So anyway, but... Well, we can make fun... They always say, like, you make fun of yourself. You're like, yeah, you can also make fun of those that you love. Like, also, redheads, we've joked on Bobby and I's show, it's like the last... Irish specifically, too. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:15 They're like the last group that everyone can shit on. Like, redheads are open game. Yeah, why? Everyone can be like, look at this ugly freak. And everyone's like, yeah, look at this idiot. The internet is, like, allowed to take.... The internet is like allowed to take it. Because redhead is... Is it 3%?
Starting point is 01:01:28 What is it of Caucasian? What percentage of the world is redhead? But it's just one of those things where, I don't know, we're still open game. We're like one of the last open game. And I like it because it's fun. It is... Like South Park did a Kick a Ginger Day episode, which I thought was one of the funniest. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:42 Where they just are allowed to kick redheads. 2%? 2%. Yeah, 2% of the funniest. Where they just are allowed to kick redheads. 2%? Yeah, 2% of the world's population. Do you know that blue eyes only came in 10,000 years ago, I think? Yeah, who did it, by the way? Who's responsible for these blue eyes? I don't know. Dirty enough, the rest of us.
Starting point is 01:01:57 Bioevolutionary history is never not fascinating. I always thought my whole family had blue eyes, and I like see my shitty brown eyes, and I remember vividly a girl in college goes, she goes, your eyes are beautiful. She was drunk. And I said, oh, thanks, at the bar. And she goes, they look like dirty lake water.
Starting point is 01:02:13 So forever in my mind, when I look at my eyes in the mirror, I see, like, a shitty dirty lake in the Midwest. That's what I think about. Dirty lake water. It was very specific. You look like dirty lake water. You look like dirty lake water. You look like dirty lake water. Dirty. Would you like to have sex with me?
Starting point is 01:02:29 So back to Joe Biden. Because people said, guess what, folks? The rich don't pay their fair share. They say, I'll pay the share, Sharon Stone. The Stone Temple Pilots. But it's such boxing about signing share. So I need to listen. Boxing match, match game, game on. Got to get it on. Don't's such boxing about signing share. Signing listen. Boxing match.
Starting point is 01:02:45 Match game. Game on. Gotta get it on. Don't say gay. Marvin Gaye. I like that. Peeling from the last to get to the next. Peeling from the people.
Starting point is 01:02:55 Yeah. Peeling from last to get to the next. Those are kind of fun. No, I think we're the who allows what's okay to make fun of is an interesting world for characters and actors. I think you're right. If the intent is not to hurt, to harm, to even harbor negative stereotypes of any kind, then I don't know. I did an Asian character on SNL. And again, I didn't get into this to have anybody crying in the back of the club.
Starting point is 01:03:21 It was sincerely hurt. Right. No. You know. You're not like, good, fuck them. Yeah're yeah that was never it because i watched a documentary this is from this last special and i got lambasted for it maybe i shouldn't have done it but i just saw a documentary around communist china and then they have the sub they have the person speaking in a lilting mandarin and then they have the narrator, you know, so it'd be like, I live in a village of 10 million people.
Starting point is 01:03:51 All we make is underwear. That's all we make. Because I heard of these mega cities that just make socks or just make underwear. Right, yeah. And so that was just fake Mandarin. I don't know. I couldn't do it today.
Starting point is 01:04:02 No. But you did it in your special? I did, yeah. Would you ever do another special or no? Just because of the saturation of the market now. I would say that if there was, if I had a setup somewhere and I would try to do, because I come on to stuff and then I just, I peak with them and I get flat with them, you know? Why?
Starting point is 01:04:25 Because I've extrapolated as far as I can. Well, sometimes you have a bit that maybe you're good with it and then it kind of goes into a ditch a little bit. You get a little bored, maybe you miss the setup, and then you add something and it's new again. I would rather do, you know, a five to eight-minute special a month. Oh, really? Yeah. Is that something you're going to do or no? I'm considering
Starting point is 01:04:48 it, yeah. Yeah, it's a smart idea. Yeah, and I don't, I think in general, I put myself in this category, it doesn't really capture it, you know? Well, they never do. I don't, I mean, it's tough. The only, there's like a handful of guys. There's a few specials. Like Louie, I can watch Louie a million times and go, this feels exactly like when I see Louie
Starting point is 01:05:04 live. Louis has a certain, I don't know how to use that word. He has a lane he occupies as a stand-up. Yeah. That's very unique because it's not, you're like, okay, that's a good observation. Like, why is this so good? You know? But even this recent thing he did, he does like 10 minutes on Good Will Hunting.
Starting point is 01:05:26 Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Wait a minute. Okay, so he can do that? Yeah. It's 25 years old. Maybe a lot of people don't remember, you know. And all about, you know, Matt Damon supposedly writing the script and how do you like them apples?
Starting point is 01:05:38 And so he does it so beautifully. You're just like, he is at his own level. Yeah, Chappelle does that too. Chappelle will talk about like Cosby. Well, he'll talk about like Michael Jackson. And you're like, Michael Jackson, is there a new one? Or what are you talking about? He'll talk about it as if it just happened.
Starting point is 01:05:52 But it does trick your brain into going, that feels recent. Even if it's a subject from before. But I think the five to eight minutes is a good idea. Yeah, when you're just kind of coming on to something, it's not even completely done. So it feels alive you know for me it deadens it like when the last special i did there was um friday night the air conditioning broke or there's some technical issues so it's like one shot one kill yeah after a year so then of course you you said one shot i mean i thought sandler's was done so great.
Starting point is 01:06:25 It was. Because it's the first time I've ever seen a big comic in a special, and you can tell right now, Adam doesn't know if he's shooting a special. That's how loose he was. It doesn't feel like it. Because he shot it 100 times. Right. So then he's just fucking around with Dan Bulla, and he's got the things.
Starting point is 01:06:44 It was so, if it had been one night, yeah, it's just fucking around with Dan Bulla, and he's got the things. It was so... If it had been one night, yeah, it's just something about doing that. That was a smart formula. I went and saw him. We were in Detroit, Bobby and I, and we went over to watch him at the arena. And even then, it felt the exact same that his special does,
Starting point is 01:07:00 but I think that's also the air of Sandler is very like, I'm having a great time i hope you're having a great time with me where a lot of comics and i suffer from it too where you're like working so hard to make sure that it's working so well that sometimes it has that same thing that you said like the money dirties up the comedy where you're like i just i the i want it so bad to be good for you guys that sometimes i lose out on having fun. I thought Adam was having the best time the whole time. Yes, yeah. And, you know, he's got his guitar and he's kind of singing.
Starting point is 01:07:32 He's got like 10 guitars on stage. Yeah, he's got his guitars and he's singing. And then they're using really cool chyrons or imagery. Yeah. You know, so it's like wallet, keys, chain, wallet. You know what I mean? And, yeah, Sandler just brings a sense of joy. He's just kind of giggling the whole time.
Starting point is 01:07:49 Yeah, it makes you feel like you're with him. And I think you could, yeah, I think the formula, the old-fashioned formula of work on it for a year, have the company come and give you notes, and then you do it again. You're talking to your friends, and you're just squeezing it and grinding it, and I need this and perfectionitis, and then here comes the cameras. You know i don't know i think it's it shouldn't be done well it does it also does a trick to the audience that i never like where they're they know you're they know you're shooting a special yeah they're conscious of a special so it's kind of like how is this doing what is this doing to them that they wouldn't have done before that's what always
Starting point is 01:08:20 bothered me could you hide the cameras i thought about that i thought well could you hide cameras and then make them sign releases after it's over and go hey just letting you know you're on cameras well let me ask you a question like say you're somewhere and the difference in the sets like like um do some nights you just feel like you're like way way funnier just because you're just that loose or tired or whatever and then you're tagging things and it's at this other frequency? Yeah. Okay, so you're that style of comic that would do well from an eight minute
Starting point is 01:08:52 special every month. Seriously, I would. See, here I am right now. Hey, great to be here. I'm just saying, I'll be the production coming. Hey, great to be here. What's up with... First thing you say is I am not shooting a special. I'm not shooting a special. This is not a special. And you am not shooting a special. I'm not shooting a special. This is not a special.
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Starting point is 01:12:47 That was something that, honestly, that Louis did, that a lot of guys did, that I always thought was brilliant, was Norm did it, where the specials opened with jokes. There wasn't a lot of, like, setup. It was like, I'm already on stage telling a joke. Yeah. I kind of was jealous of that, because I was like, oh, you fucking cut through all the fat,
Starting point is 01:13:03 and you got right to say... Sometimes it was like you heard the laughter from a joke that he did before. They didn't even put on the special. Yeah. That you're like, you son of a bitch. You tricked me again. Yeah. I don't know what someone said.
Starting point is 01:13:13 Paul Giamatti was on our podcast. Paul Giamatti came out of Panath. And he went and he said, he just, he wasn't, and he's a very sweet guy. He just saw a lot of self-deprecating or just a new style of comedy. You know, if there is a lane of kind of like – there's a lane. There's a lane. There's a lane. There's a lane.
Starting point is 01:13:31 Of coolness, that's all. Yeah. I still happily – Phil Hartman and I love it. We just consider ourselves clowns. Like, I'll fall down. I want to get you helpless. Right. And then the badass comics is a whole other idea.
Starting point is 01:13:47 Cool comic. Elbow on the mic, you know? Yeah. So I was jacking off in front of my cat, right? The cat looks up at me and says, why are you jacking off, you know? I said, because I like to, you fucking pussy. You know, I just made that up. But that-
Starting point is 01:14:03 Crush, that would crush. Yeah. But I've refused my entire life to ever be a grumpy old man I think SNL's the best it's ever been I think comedy scene's
Starting point is 01:14:10 the best it's ever been yeah it's such a disease of my day was so much better everything's worse you know yeah
Starting point is 01:14:18 so I believe music reflects the society totally if it's if it's Taylor Swift or hip hop or whatever it is, that's what it needs to be.
Starting point is 01:14:27 What's your music that you go home to? What does Danny Carvey listen to in his car? Frankie Avalon. Your big Avalon guy? Avalon, don't ever fuck with my Frankie. My musical taste expanded. I didn't really discover Sinatra until I was 40. Really?
Starting point is 01:14:42 And then I went, holy shit. I was aware of him, but then I went, holy shit. I was aware of him, but then I went, holy shit. Like, listened to him. Really got into him. And so, I was like, wow, what is this? And then I, Harry Connick Jr. was at SNL. So, I said, what is it about Sinatra?
Starting point is 01:14:58 What is it? He goes, he can slide off the note, but not all the way. He's almost flat, but not flat. Yeah, it does sound like he gets close. And so it gives you all this emotion. And also, in terms of Sinatra, you know the lyrics. He's way on top of the band, and you just hear the voice.
Starting point is 01:15:18 And the Beatles are like that, too. They mixed really hot on top, not buried inside. But, you know, I went along the whole trajectory. But, yeah, of course the Beatles are seminal for me because because of the age, I discovered them. You know, like say, who were you? What was the band when you were 13 or 10, 14? Nirvana. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:38 Yeah. Okay. So Nirvana. Yeah. For me, being up the age ladder from you was new was like holy shit for me Nirvana yeah they were just that was like that was the phrasing the chord changes and the simplicity
Starting point is 01:15:52 of it yeah to me it was like I heard music when I heard Nirvana I was like oh this is like this is rock what I like this is what I like I think it was like everything I thought music should have been John Lennon and Led Zeppelin or something made a baby
Starting point is 01:16:05 or something it had some kind of weird phrasing and it was just speaking to a generation as you are as you are
Starting point is 01:16:14 go ahead and again those minor notes and those the phrasing and the melodies that he came up with and then
Starting point is 01:16:22 I also Dave Grohl on the drums I love that he kind of he would speak I also Dave Grohl on the drums I love that he he kind of he would speak to them
Starting point is 01:16:28 about his pain and also be angry about their misinterpretation of his pain I've talked about this before but the song in Bloom is so incredible because he's literally
Starting point is 01:16:36 saying to them all these fucking idiots that like my shit they don't even listen to what I'm saying he's literally saying that in the song he says they
Starting point is 01:16:42 you know they they sing along to the words and they have no idea what I'm talking about it's literally saying that in the song. He says they sing along to the words and they have no idea what I'm talking about. It's so funny to shit on the audience that is indulging in you because you're like, you aren't even listening to me, but I'll make a catchy tune
Starting point is 01:16:54 and you'll sing that too. Like John Popper did that Blues Traveler song where he's literally teasing the audience saying I'm not really saying anything, but you still like it. I wonder, you know i mean i don't know all the problems that kurt had and uh but you know just clumsy analogy but the beatles finally couldn't tour just was too insane someone's gonna die and they just screamed they couldn't
Starting point is 01:17:17 hear themselves they had no monitors it was just it was over yeah so we're just gonna live in a studio i think that you, you can start to, because I'm spinning around here. My brother-in-law has a PhD. His PhD was on Mark Twain. And Mark Twain lost all his money, had to put on the white suit and tour the world. And he said, he asked me,
Starting point is 01:17:40 why do you think he was so angry? Because it's documented that he had contempt for his audience. Right. Because he felt like a wind-up clown, a monkey on a string. It's like me going out there in the dress, well, isn't that special? Right. So I think Kurt Cobain, someone would have got to him, just release albums. Don't tour. Don't tour.
Starting point is 01:17:58 Don't be with the, woo! Yeah! Yeah, yeah. Just play one show a year and that's it. Don't tour. If even that. Yeah. Well, that's what I feel like because in the new world,
Starting point is 01:18:09 everyone, music-wise, like Taylor Swift, we were talking about that the other week. It's such a big tour. It's almost not real anymore. Well, she's a nation state. This is like its own country
Starting point is 01:18:19 called Taylorania. Taylorania. It's tilting the economy of the United States. It is. I read, it's tilting the economy of the United States. It is. I read about it last night in the Wall Street Journal. The off-label impact of her. She'll come into a town three days early and the hotels and restaurants.
Starting point is 01:18:35 I mean, she's an economic ecosystem. Wow. I mean, she's way beyond anything. She can shift the way the economy moves for a day in a city. Yeah. That's disgusting. Yes. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:45 It literally, birth rates go up, demographics change. There's more legal immigration. I mean, she's a nation state and God bless her. I mean, she does not seem like someone who's going to fall apart. She seems like she's got her head screwed on straight. And there's usually that kind of fame, that kind of money. get tilted some people do some people don't like did you see guys on your when you were coming up did you see guys that you you saw the thing get the best of them that you're like oh man you could have kept going but it just because of just a too big of an ego well so or
Starting point is 01:19:20 sometimes the thing eats people alive i mean sometimes it just they don't know how to do it and they don't know how to navigate it. I feel like you, not knowing you, but I just feel like you've done it so well your whole career of being someone who's constantly just been, you've just created and continued on your way and not let yourself get in your own way. And that's a hard thing to do as you get famous
Starting point is 01:19:40 because you're so fucking famous. Thank you. Thank you, Andrew. You are. But it's true, though. I mean, you don't get in your own way. I'll tell you, and it all sounds self-congratulatory, but I met a lot of guys early on. You know, Mickey Rooney was one of them.
Starting point is 01:19:54 And I met other actors. James Tarantino was another one. This is when they put me in sitcoms. I had no confidence. I just did whatever they took. They're going to pay me $7,500 a week? I have to do it. I did a lot of shit.
Starting point is 01:20:04 Nobody took the journey I took. You know, I tested for Amadeus. I did Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas' last movie together, playing the straight man. Hollywood wanted to hire me as just a straight, nice guy. But I met so many bitter people. And I thought, oh, this whole business is about
Starting point is 01:20:19 getting you bitter. They fucked me. I didn't get what I should have. And that's the biggest disease. Victimhood and bitterness. Guaranteed you can't be successful. So, and for me also, I had to figure this out for myself. And I think you're a kindred spirit.
Starting point is 01:20:34 Yeah. The fame, the money, the glory, the power. But then there's also what affected young Andrew. Yeah. And just the romance in a way of trying to affect someone that way. So like Monty Python or Steve Martin for me young Andrew. Yeah. And just the romance, in a way, of trying to affect someone that way.
Starting point is 01:20:49 So, like, Monty Python or Steve Martin, for me, and musically, too. I'm not a musician, but I play guitar and stuff. So it's like, I was going in, like, what really supercharged me was I was where Dan Aykroyd was in Chevy Chase. I'm in their studio, and I'm affecting the audience like they were. That was always the goal.
Starting point is 01:21:07 And then I had people in love with money. I just don't have a lot of material. I mean, now I'm trying to get money because I got a couple relatives. You got bills to pay. I got a couple relatives. And also I just thought, like when I went and did these two shitty movies and then the show that was canceled. So I went from Rolling Stone, Bob Hope gave me an Emmy, and I had two little kids.
Starting point is 01:21:31 So I was just too much input. Yeah, it was a lot. I couldn't decide. I almost did the show that Conan did. They paid me a million dollars just to think about it. They give you a million bucks, you just go, let us know. I said to Greg Ray, how did you get me a million bucks you just go let us know i said to brett gray what how did you get me a million dollars i don't with no commitment he goes they gotta make an announcement and they
Starting point is 01:21:51 want to float your name out you know me and me and david letterman on the cover of tv guide as gonna take so i was tortured for a year my wife wanted me to do the talk show you know yeah i didn't i couldn't wrap my mind around doing an hour of tv every night just by how intense i was about starting life so there was all this going on and so then i had a botch bypass which i'm fine now yeah you know so i was in such a fallow period but um that's when it was really helpful to me that i wasn't really thinking like some guys i'll say this they'll get famous and they're terrified of being less famous yeah like you can feel the fear if it's is it gonna
Starting point is 01:22:31 go away am I not you know that kind of thing I didn't have that so that helped me sustain you never you never you never once cared if it got dipped down or went away no I didn't honestly I just wanted to not make any shitty stuff. I just wanted to make cool stuff. Right. And so eventually, during that time with the family, I was still huge in corporate stand-up, you know, and that was nothing I wanted to do, but it just was something I could do
Starting point is 01:22:59 and be a dad for about 10 years. Instead of doing the show. Well, I tried to do, I did a movie, Master of Disguise. That's a whole other story. Yeah. And I just thought, I didn't,
Starting point is 01:23:12 I was just not, I wasn't there for a year. Did you hate it? No, no. I loved some of the work in that. I mean, I loved some of the scenes. It came out a little funny. It's a cult classic now.
Starting point is 01:23:21 Yeah. We were talking about it before you came. We were talking about it. There's a whole story to it. Even Rotten Tomatoes did a re-review 10 years later
Starting point is 01:23:28 because they were kind of like trying to figure out what was going on with this movie. And it was a PG-13, but it was switched to a kid's movie right before we started.
Starting point is 01:23:38 So we had to rewrite as we went, me and Dino Stapanopoulos, who's Conan's writer. So we were in there and all that stuff of the slapping dummy, you keep the whole...
Starting point is 01:23:49 You're a blue belt. How many belts are there? There's 51 belts. All this really dry, weird stuff within this... I mean, we didn't know... It was almost written like a parody of a PG movie because one of the studio executives said, you need a monkey and a kid. it's a disney trick so we wrote brave barney baker was the kid
Starting point is 01:24:10 that was his name and the dog was called the cuteness yeah so we wrote it almost a parody of pg movies and you know robert shaw from jaws made it in there from the other script you know so it's a big mess of a movie, but it's colorful. And people yell it out. There's drinking games at colleges. Do you still like it? If you watched it today, would you like it? Well, I don't.
Starting point is 01:24:36 Unless I have complete control of something, I don't normally like the whole thing. I'm not upset about it because it is a kid's movie. And if a five-year-old likes it then that makes me happy what do you have what did you have complete control of that i think wayne's world one that was the most controlled you for a film yeah in in terms of the sketches i was either driving it or working with kindred spirits but the main things there i liked all the stuff that worked there mclaughlin group i had a great a lot of great run with smigel because i'd come around doing regis and he loved that and you know same thing with carson weird wild stuff all that i did not know that and all that and he loved that new take
Starting point is 01:25:14 on carson at the time yeah which i did too and that was probably my single most favorite thing i did on the snl as a performer because kind of full circle to your point that was the only time and i'd been on a while it took me 80 shows to even not be terrified that was the only time i didn't i wasn't concerned about the audience laughing now you just wanted to make it i knew it was so funny yeah because my eyes are kind of close together i put the get up on i go fuck i kind of look like him. It's almost like some of Arnold's rhythms, how he was so
Starting point is 01:25:50 he would bring the whole audience in. And then it became, for those of you at home, you're watching a thing called a television and I'm not actually in your living room. So, we're going to have a good guest tonight. So, I just knew him. And then he's, you know, Phil, hysterical.
Starting point is 01:26:05 Ed's wasted. You are correct, sir. And then the, I did not know that. So it was just total sincerity in that character. Ed was the laugh button, but loved being Johnny, and I got blacklisted from the show. That's so insane to me. I know.
Starting point is 01:26:22 The grudge. There was one sketch that just tipped over the line what was it he um we just i think it was um chris rock came on chris rock came on as our senior yeah and johnny was discovering for the first time so i understand our ratings have actually gone down and yours have gone up that That was one. And then Susan Day came on, and this is 12 years after The Partridge Family, and it was played that Johnny didn't know The Partridge Family was off the air. He thought it was still running. So on Monday evening show, Johnny apparently said at the beginning,
Starting point is 01:27:01 during the monologue, you see that, Ed? We're senile now. So I feel bad about that i did not feel anything but love for johnny carson you know and did you ever make amends with him i didn't i think it when he went to the grave hating dana carvey i think that johnny there were other people i understood that joan oh there he is yeah god you look just like him too it was unbelievable how close it was well yeah you really truly like him, too. It was unbelievable how close it was. Well, yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:26 You really did, truly. It looked identical. Carson, Carvey, both Irish. It just looked the same, though. You have the same. You looked young. You just looked like a young Carson. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:37 Because when he was young, he had that. He had just a slender face like that. Oh, yeah. He looked exactly like that. It's a fun. Oh, is that right, Ed? Is that right, Ed? Fun personality.
Starting point is 01:27:47 So, they call you Santino. So, this is your studio. It's a nice place. And do you have a celebrity guest on often? Or do you sort of do man-on-the-street stuff? A lot of man-on-the-street stuff.
Starting point is 01:27:57 Man-on-the-street, that's always funny because you don't know what they're going to say and sometimes there'll be a kick in the pants. That's right. Anyway, so, hail.
Starting point is 01:28:04 Hail. A little scotch and soda how much did that how much did that uh bleed into when you did jimmy stewart too because it kind of has this like the the jimmy stewart that jimmy stewart i didn't know who jimmy stewart was when i was a kid but then i heard you do it yeah and i liked him and i didn't even know why i liked him i know that was a conscious thing of wanting to sound like Jimmy Stewart. That was like, I want to learn that. And it was like 1975, and I'd seen It's a Wonderful Life.
Starting point is 01:28:33 And I just loved his voice. And then I'm driving around the Volkswagen Bug with my friends. This is all true, right? Peninsula at midnight. And it's like impressions. I don't know about you, but all I do is listen a lot. You know? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:46 Just listen a lot and then hope something comes. I don't have any technique. Do you not pick up one little thing and steal? Like, I've talked to some... Then I extrapolate it. Right. You take one little thing and then open it up like that? But I was literally...
Starting point is 01:28:59 Usually it just hits me. I have voicemails of me trying impressions that are so fucking bad no i want to hear them so bad just to try an impression it's terrible is it a word do you find a word like with jimmy stewart always hung on me when the way you said yeah the way he said yeah yeah you would say it and i thought that seemed like an entry point to jimmy yes like what was the entry point for carson do you do like what was it that you go oh that sounds exactly like it a gentleman joins us it was just once I got down in there with that thing
Starting point is 01:29:30 and then just observing cause Rich Little did a really good one but it's more Johnny and the monologue but just observing I did not know that is that weird is that wild weird wild stuff so apparently I don't know if this is true but when you're doing that you know know, I have a really good friend.
Starting point is 01:29:47 His parents are from Nebraska, and it's that Midwestern sincerity. So when you do Johnny, it's just you're very nice. You know, you're just, this is a handsome room. I like it. Our studio was slightly bigger, but I like this one better. You know, he was just a sweet guy. With Jimmy, it was sort of reaching a lot because he would do that as an acting thing.
Starting point is 01:30:09 He said, well, it kind of sounds natural. Not everybody knows exactly what they're going to say. So I do this in my stand. I can do it here. To amuse myself, I've done things behind the scenes, and I don't really work blue, but I like the fancifulness. Because I do Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas having sex. It was Bill Hader's favorite thing.
Starting point is 01:30:31 The greatest compliment I've ever gotten in my career, literally, was Bill Hader said, hey, you know Bill, so he's a brilliant guy. Love his stuff, man. But he goes, Lauren told me the funniest thing he ever heard or saw was you doing Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas. I go, wow, that's a great compliment. He never said that to you? No.
Starting point is 01:30:51 No. Oh, no. But I do a thing now because it just makes me laugh. It's just Jimmy Stewart getting a blowjob. And it's not sexual. It's not sexual. And I was, it's not sexual. It's not sexual. You'll see in a minute. When I did it with Katherine Hepburn, then they were waiting for Katherine Hepburn.
Starting point is 01:31:11 So now I just say, I do these rapid impressions. Yeah. Which are just fun. You know, George Bush Sr. goes over a high dive. Gets such an outsized laugh. I don't know if you have bits that are like, why is this killing so hard? Yeah. So he's just going, gotta do it.
Starting point is 01:31:26 And I'm creeping up the stage. Gotta do it. And he's looking down. Gotta do it. Not. Gotta do it. Don't know why. It's perfect. It's just perfect, yeah. So Jimmy Stewart getting a blowjob is just like, yeah, okay. Well, just look
Starting point is 01:31:42 at it for a second. No, I don't want you to touch it. I just want you to consider it. Yeah, just take a gander. All right, now turn away ever so slowly. That's it, just turn away. And now I want you to forget it. I want you to, you've never seen it before.
Starting point is 01:32:02 Just put it out of your mind. Okay, now look around slowly. I want to see, you've never seen it before. Just put it out of your mind. Okay, now look around slowly. I want to see you discover it again. Yeah, there you are. Yeah. I like that. That's good. Well, now get mad at it for a second.
Starting point is 01:32:16 Just yell at it. Okay. Well, it's been a nice evening. Thank you very much. There is no sex. It's great because it's the, yeah, if you're pulling people into the tipping point, you never get there as great.
Starting point is 01:32:27 Not even close. No, it's just the, I don't know, the perversion of just, just look at it. Now forget it. You've never seen it. When I did it on Conan's podcast, Deep Dive, I had him leave the building. I'm going to go get a soda around the building.
Starting point is 01:32:41 Just wait, I'll be back. It's just the idea. Forget you've ever seen it. So that stuff I just do because it amuses me. I don't really think, is that sophisticated? Is that clever? I have no idea. No, it is very much so.
Starting point is 01:32:53 I know it's ridiculous. You can't not laugh at it. Now just forget it. It's easy to do that. When you say Jimmy Stewart getting a blowjob, the immediate reaction is... It's going to be blue. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:33:04 While it's happening. Yes. It'd also be funny if you did the aftermath of it too so you do the you do the preamble it's almost like what what does he do when it's over now too that's it she performs a sexual yeah because the beauty of this is you never even get to the sexual act to me it'd be funny if you also had now Now when it's over. The post. Yeah, the post. Well, I just want to thank you. It was a delight. It took longer than I thought it would. But I feel a great sense of relaxation.
Starting point is 01:33:38 What's your name? You don't really have a name. Well, I left it on the dresser. You're going to be happy. Yeah, there you go. You wind me up. That's beauty because it's like that's the stuff that I like the most because when I know it's coming, like anything else, you're like, okay.
Starting point is 01:33:57 But, you know, it's great to throw in the curve of it. That's what I really love about that stuff. Yeah, and I just like the vernacular with Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas, again, it's not pornographic at all. It's just that 40s vernacular. Right. It's like very transatlantic, kind of like, well, it's got that very— I want you, and I want you now. And I want all of it.
Starting point is 01:34:20 Take it easy, son. Two men having fun. Don't keep bucking around like that, son. I've only got so much play down there. You know, it's that kind of ha, ha, ha, ha. And that's from doing a movie with them, you know. And did that now, did they hate you after doing it? No, they never knew about it.
Starting point is 01:34:37 But I did a movie with them. I learned to do them from doing the movie with them. You know, actually hanging out with the actual person. That's the best way. Yeah, you start to emulate it enough where you're like, now I can hear you in my head. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:34:49 Yeah. Why do they call it Whiskey Ginger? Ha ha ha ha. I don't know why they do. I think it's the host has ginger hair. They're just interesting voices. Even if no one's ever heard of them. Do you remember your audition for SNL vividly?
Starting point is 01:35:09 Like, is it still stuck in your head? Pretty much. I had two. I had one at the Igbys. Right. And then one in New York. And then not in New York, in 8H. And then it was in Burbank in a studio.
Starting point is 01:35:22 Oh, really? And it was me and Phil. There it is. Yeah. Yeah. What a shirt, by the way. I know. I like the pic, the rolled-up sleeves.
Starting point is 01:35:33 The rolled-up sleeves. Is there a cigarette in there at any point, huh? But it does stick. I've asked a lot of my friends that have done it, and a lot of them blacked out a little bit when they did it because the nerves and they kind of just went through the set. Yeah. But you still feel like you remember being there and doing it.
Starting point is 01:35:52 Oh, yeah. And, Lorne, I figured out later, which I've told people on Flying the Wall, David and I's podcast. Yeah. Listen to Flying the Wall, David. If you want. No, it's a great, great show. There's a library of 81.
Starting point is 01:36:04 It's a potpourri. There's a library of 81. It's a potpourri. More than a baker's dozen. Pick a name and have a little joy. It's always fun. Lorne, at one point, there was a fire alarm, I think, during my set. In the middle of it.
Starting point is 01:36:18 I did some, and then Lorne said, well, I did some piano. We've seen that. Do you have anything else? So I was literally doing stuff that I didn't even, I was just making up stuff at the end. I just started.
Starting point is 01:36:32 Oh, you were improv-ing. No, I ran out of everything I thought I was going to do. So then I just said, sometimes I can talk like a British guy, so I just thought it is for a while. And they loved it. I guess so. But, you know and they loved it i guess so but you know what what
Starting point is 01:36:45 what was interesting seeing that and seeing some of these old timers you know they're used to comedians looking really funny like i looked incredibly not like a comedian and if i would bomb or they just didn't you know i mean that doesn't look like a comedian it's like it looks like just a young lad a young lad you know oh is that the british thing yeah yeah i had no jokes and didn't know where it's going or maybe i'm doing john travolta so that's travolta yeah you can tell i blacked out when i tested on on stage over there at eight i blacked out yeah i blacked out pretty hard i just i i was so excited to do it that when i tested uh you know they tell you say your name and all that just easy hi i'm andrew santino and i walked up there and i immediately went into a character
Starting point is 01:37:31 because i just was so nervous you wanted to get to it i just wanted to fucking i just didn't want to waste any time and i didn't really as a stand-up i never had been in that world so i didn't understand the rhythm and pacing of it stand Stand-up, I knew very well. But so I just dove into characters. And luckily, it did great. And, you know, Lorne flew me back out, and I sat in his office, and he basically told me. When I flew back out, I thought, well, I got the fucking show. Even my agents were like, yeah, got the show.
Starting point is 01:38:00 Well, yeah, why would he fly you back out? But he flew me back out basically to say, you know, no, because it's just you're not. I think, I don't know if this is the right verbiage, but he said you're not the puzzle piece we're looking for. But he said you're going to be fine. And it was a nice vote of confidence from him. But I think because he was deliberating between, I was 31. Same age. And he was, and Pete Davidson was, you know, know 19 whatever Pete was when he joined
Starting point is 01:38:25 so it was me Pete Dan Soder and one other comic and I could just tell wow wow but what and I've given him credit
Starting point is 01:38:32 without Lauren doesn't know me anymore really but like I've given him so much credit on pods and everything saying it was great because he was right that like he wanted
Starting point is 01:38:41 someone young they were looking for somebody young and I was 31 and I had kind of already done some stuff so it he wanted someone that was a little bit more malleable and i think he was the greatest pick ever i mean pete was like the best choice he made and i've known pete since he was 16 and i was like when he when i heard it was pete i thought well that makes perfect fucking sense so when i sat in his office he just wanted to talk to me about
Starting point is 01:39:02 being from chicago where are you from? You know, Chicago. And we talked sports and bubble. It's everything. And at the end, he was kind of like, you know, in so many words, like, you're going to be great. So when you would get wounded, like, say, that, how were you just kind of bummed out for a week or a month? Or when I bombed at the comedy store after Kennison, I was pretty much really down for a couple months it hit me it the lauren thing hit me in a way that i kind of well i you know being an irish kid it was like everything's pessimistic well they're never gonna give it to me anyway so when you don't get it you're like i told you really well i just it's part of the irish well the bar is
Starting point is 01:39:38 thing it's like well can't complain well but it's also like oh we don't deserve it no no it's not for us anyway we don't deserve us yeah so i just feel like uh we've always had this like my family that's always like you're lucky to be there type of vibe so it's always been like well i'm lucky to fucking i got here this is great i had a conflicted thing too i mean i had like no confidence um very much had issues with people pleasing and wanting to be a nice guy and but i had a other hidden lane of being incredibly competitive yeah i'm super competitive but always played fair but if i would see when i saw robin williams levitate the room the way i talk about killing yeah i was like i have a lot of work to do yeah i gotta get much much better well how were you guys oh we're friends
Starting point is 01:40:22 yeah you were yeah but he would i the first night i did stand up i went i was at berkeley in a little coffee house i just looked in the paper it was unknown comics were gonna play i didn't even know it existed i'd only see don rickles or richard prior yeah but i i this is i just left home my dad was a monster so i got out and i was free so i went to the club and then the third comic up there they first were kind of normal open micers like 10 people in the audience yeah the third guy up was just like going you know like whoa holy shit what is this for those of you on i said this is a frisbee you know everything was deconstructed and he was never really on mic and he was booming and yeah peak robin and so then i thought i didn't know it was
Starting point is 01:41:03 robin williams i thought well if there's a lot of these guys, maybe I'll be a carpet salesman. Maybe this is not the best thing. But that's, so then we were friends, you know, he would come, he got more committee pretty quickly, and then he was up back and forth to San Francisco. Robin's coming in, Robin's coming in, you might
Starting point is 01:41:20 have a spot, and then Robin does two hours. He would come to two hours of the store. Yeah. Or at the Holy City Zoo was the spot. then Robin does two hours. He would come to two at the two hours of the store. Yeah. Or at the Holy City Zoo was the spot. There were no comedy clubs. The first comedy club official in that era was the Punchline in 79.
Starting point is 01:41:33 So this was 77, 78 where I was just barely starting still going to college San Francisco State. And so he would come in as a movie star and stuff. And wow. He would
Starting point is 01:41:43 Was Punch in the same place that it is today. Yeah. Same spot. So I lived there. I rented a house 10th and Cabrillo with my wife, my girlfriend at the time. And then we met Paula Poundstone and, you know, Bobcat Goldthwait. The Boston people came in.
Starting point is 01:42:00 And Poundstone lived with us for a while. And she's brilliant. Did she pay rent? We paid her rent because everyone wanted to help Paul in those days yeah she's so sweet but uh we you know it was all surreal and then Robin over the years then I had insecure I was doing these sitcoms they all got canceled Blue Thunder was a shit show and then I would go and play this other cafe 70 Cedar and Haight Ashbury where it was not hard liquor and the crowd was slightly sophisticated so that's why I first started like doing a character right you
Starting point is 01:42:33 know and improvising you know rather than the biker bars you know show you know show us your dick you know like the blender and then you just get loud and blue. Right. So that was really, really useful. And Robin, when I got on SNL, about eight months later, he called me. I just wondered, you know, how are you doing? I mean, you seem to have so much confidence in so many new characters. Where did this come from? What happened to you? And then he asked me whether he should do, what was the movie with Peter Weir with the school kids?
Starting point is 01:43:12 Not Good Will Hunting because I keep thinking of those guys. What is it with Peter Weir and him? Peter Weir, Robin Williams. Robin Williams. Why can't I think of it? I know. I'm glad that you can't so I don't have to think it's early on set. Peter Weir.
Starting point is 01:43:27 Peter Weir. That's Welker. Peter Weir. Yeah. He's learning how to spell. He's a young guy. Dead Poets. Yeah, boom.
Starting point is 01:43:34 Dead Poets Society. So he's asking me about that and this director and stuff. And then toward the end of his life, he moved up to Marin County, and I was still up there. And we used to play the Throckmorton, this little 300-seater there a lot. You two together. Yeah. We'd go on, I'd go on.
Starting point is 01:43:48 Sometimes we'd go on stage together with Mark Pitta and these other comedians, San Francisco people. And that became a really big thing. That's one of the best theaters in the country. And so with Robin, we started to hang out because it was almost like I was so intimidated by him, but he was so incredibly sweet. What a split personality.
Starting point is 01:44:10 I mean, the most powerful guy on stage, but just would call me boss and, hey, boss, you know, and just very sweet and deferential to me. Yeah. If I was doing a good set, he'd be in the wings like this. Thumbing you up. Oh, boss, it was a good set. Good boss. So we became friends and we started kind
Starting point is 01:44:25 of hanging out and stuff and then he he went to la because the sitcom yeah and then the rest is history yeah i just did not realize where that was at and it wasn't because the sitcom got canceled louis body dementias the disease he got he was in a hallucinatory state, and he couldn't really perform anymore. But, you know, I keep his voicemails. Do you do that? I keep people's voicemails. Oh, yeah, of course. You know, sometimes when people pass, I call their phone.
Starting point is 01:44:56 Yeah. That's a very weird thing I've done before multiple times. But I call their phone before they disconnect it sometimes just to let it ring a bunch in the hopes that, like, what if they picked up? I think about that sometimes. It's funny when you see their name. A really good friend of mine died, like, three years ago. And he was a total Brooklyn guy, like Queens type guy. New York.
Starting point is 01:45:17 You know, real, like, first really close friend with that God rest his soul whenever he talked about his mother. Yeah, God rest his soul. And do the right thing. Come on, Danny, do the right thing. Yeah. Do the right thing. So, like, I hear he gave me really simple, clean, you know, advice. And so sometimes I'll just put his voice in my head.
Starting point is 01:45:37 When you're thinking about stuff, he'll come into it. What would Gary say? What would Gary say? You know, I think what you got to do gotta do you know is just take care of your family first you know that's the thing you're gonna remember in the end you know it was all very simple but coming from a guy who grew up so poor yeah that his his dad would would work it you leave at four go to harlem open a shoe store his dad was a saint so when harlem burnt down they kept mr prince's store no they left his store don't touch his store. His dad was a saint. So when Harlem burnt down, they kept Mr. Prince's store.
Starting point is 01:46:06 Oh, they left his store. Don't touch his store. So his dad would come home. His mom would then go to work, and she would leave a sandwich on the stovetop. So sometimes I'd get home early, I'd eat the sandwich. My dad would go, wait, wait, did mom leave a sandwich on the stovetop? I don't know, Dad, she must have forgot. And he goes, go around the corner for a quarter or something, give me a sandwich. She goes, hey, pops, got to get a sandwich on the stove top i don't know dad she must have forgot and goes go around the
Starting point is 01:46:25 corner you know for a quarter or something get give me a sandwich he goes hey pops gotta get a sandwich too so that way i get two sandwiches because he was he was really sweet got big in high school you know so you know story stories like that you know that resonates with you it is yeah it's that that's people passing away is is still the most surreal thing, obviously. Let's not get heavy now. You know, Spady does that too. That's funny. You guys both do that.
Starting point is 01:46:52 Like whenever it gets real, he's like, all right, let's throw in something else. So is a boozy Susie. So I was like. Speaking of which, please, please, ladies and gentlemen uh watch and listen and enjoy and indulge in in their podcast i will say it's dana's podcast before david's podcast that's just because i have to well it's good people go why these guys i go but i've i knew him before snl yeah when he was before he 21 or something yeah and so i knew him then and then i knew him during snl and then we just see him here and there and then when I moved back down to LA
Starting point is 01:47:25 Then we were just going to a corner You guys share a similar Your rhythm of comedy is great together It is It just works very well Well it's the same thing with you and Bobby Lee I don't know when you knew that Or what decided to put you two together
Starting point is 01:47:41 The internet did honestly You know the internet goes crazy They go crazy. They see the thing. They're crazy together. They're teasing each other. Like, I make fun of him. They're like, I make fun.
Starting point is 01:47:50 I will say Chinese. He's Chinese. He's not. He's Korean. He's doing politically incorrect things. Put the person... Everybody's laughing. And so the tension is released in the room.
Starting point is 01:47:59 And then you look at the views and you monetize and you have a big, a big hammer but electrified because you know, climate change. No, it's true. And we, the internet did it.
Starting point is 01:48:10 They did it. They just, they, we would do show, we would do each other's podcasts over the years. And people were like, why the fuck don't you guys do it? Because we were always good friends, but now. Yeah, you guys are just so, I mean, I think the first clip I saw of you, wouldn't someone, wouldn't, I think you had a gun, you were waving around. Yeah, a gun. Yeah, we had a gun I think the first clip I saw of you, wouldn't someone, I think you had a gun you were waving around. Yeah, a gun. Yeah, we had a gun in like the first one.
Starting point is 01:48:27 And Bobby Lee is really, either he's just not acting or he's just a really good actor. Hey, dude, fuck it. Hey, put the gun down. Yeah. Well, I brought in an airsoft gun. Oh, okay. That was hysterical. And of course, it was like him getting a hold of it.
Starting point is 01:48:40 I mean, it was like a great scene in a movie where it's like, he will shoot me. He was like, he will 100% shoot me. I was like, please, God, don't pull the trigger. Because he's the kind of guy that shoots you for the comedy. That he's like, it was a bit. And we'll be in the hospital. It was a bit. It was a bit.
Starting point is 01:48:53 It's in my fucking neck. I mean, we just share a lot of those. Well, you guys play teasing straight, like hyper real acting. Yeah. So you're almost playing with the audience for a second. Yeah. No, seriously, dude, shut the fuck up. That's too much.
Starting point is 01:49:08 What? I didn't know. So you're doing these little, like, dramatic scenes, and then when the tension's released, it's like, you know. It's cathartic for everyone. Yeah, so that's unique, I think, about what you guys are doing. Well, it's not as good as your show with Spady. Everyone should watch it. It means a lot to me. Hey, seriously, it's not a joke. No, no, no, no. I mean it. No, with Spady. Everyone should watch it. It means a lot to me.
Starting point is 01:49:25 Seriously, it's not a joke. No, no, no, no. I mean it. No, I really mean it. Please watch it. It was about time you promoted the podcast. I can't. See, I can't.
Starting point is 01:49:31 It's so hard to not smile. I thought you'd hit it up front, I'll be honest with you. We will. You know what? I'll hit it in the intro, Reed. How about that? You know, it's fine. I mean, come here.
Starting point is 01:49:42 I come here and want to promote the podcast. And I get canceled like nine times. Hey, make sure we cut up all the clips that he does something that's maybe cancelable and put it out to the world. That's Mark Pitta, a friend of mine. He's the best at the cracking voice. You ever seen Mark Pitta? He's the best guy who's like talking. We used to do a bit where he's like, I throw to him.
Starting point is 01:50:02 And at the zoo today is, you know, correspondent Mark Pitta, you know. Yeah, there was a panda that gave birth to a baby panda. You know, he's good at the crack. Right. So it's really that thing that people do when they get emotional, when you're trying to fight it back, always try to fight it back. So let's see. Your talent bandwidth is, okay, so you can act.
Starting point is 01:50:26 A little bit, yeah. You can be in a movie and be a straight actor. Yeah. You can do impressions and characters. Yeah. You can be that guy. I could. Have you done animation?
Starting point is 01:50:35 I do a voice right now on a cartoon. Yeah. It's called Royal Crackers. Okay. You've got a huge podcast. I love when people say that because no one ever says, It's not like there's Nielsen ratings or something. Yeah. Well, our numbers are visible.
Starting point is 01:50:48 What do you mean? They're visible. Yeah. You could see it. I could see it. But it's not in the newspapers or nothing. No, no. I got to dig on that.
Starting point is 01:50:56 Yeah, but it's on the TikTok. So let me ask, without giving away the numbers, do they go by views or downloads as far as you're at? What do your advertisers like the most, downloads or views? Combined. Yeah, you got them combined. The views and the downloads, it's one of those. Our audio is almost as big on Bad Friends as our video.
Starting point is 01:51:13 And sometimes on this show, the audio is way bigger than the video. So you get both? Yeah, you combine them both. So Spade and I... But you guys are under the umbrella of a corporation, no? Cadence 13. Yeah, somebody owns you guys. Yeah, well, weence 13. Yeah, somebody owns you guys. Yeah, or we own it.
Starting point is 01:51:27 Oh, it's you guys. Sorry. Oh, bad boys. Well, the contract's coming up. You don't get to own me. I own me. First identify the suitors. You are a suitor.
Starting point is 01:51:39 Oops, there's other suitors. Don't fight too hard. See, I could just live in that guy's voice. I like that guy. I could just spend time with that guy. My live-in guy would be the southern guy of some kind. Can I hear that again before we wrap it up? Well, it's either a guttural deep dude like that.
Starting point is 01:51:57 My dad's friend would say, Andrew, I bet you $1,000 you can't do 100 push-ups. He'd say that. He'd say that shit like that all the time. That's completely accurate. He'd go, $1,000 you couldn't do 100 push-ups. He'd say that. He'd say shit like that all the time. That's completely accurate. He'd go, $1,000, you couldn't do 100 push-ups. And I'll say this, too. If y'all can throw a baseball, if y'all can throw a baseball 75 miles an hour,
Starting point is 01:52:12 we'll go to the cages. And if y'all do that, I'll take y'all for ice cream. I mean, everything with this guy, my dad's friend, it was always a competition. He was the most competitive guy. If you did anything, and I was nine years old, he'd go, how many times can you make that shot?
Starting point is 01:52:30 I'd go, I'd make five in a row. He'd go, alright, $100 says you can't do five in a row. He'll be out here in the sunshine all day burning up his little orange ass. He'd be burning up, not make five in a row from there. So is this part of your stand-up? No. You're not doing this in your stand-up?
Starting point is 01:52:45 No, I use that when I audition. I just, the characters get, I get scared of, I get scared of it, and I don't know why. I think that could kill in stand-up. But I know what you mean. If they're used to jokes and punchlines, and then you just have to find a little, Like Melissa Villasenor does a great job
Starting point is 01:53:01 kind of interweaving the two worlds, and I've always told her, I loved how she was able to do bits and then also jokes and then also then characters doing bits. Yeah. She knows how to blend them in a way where I was always like, that's the best way to do it on stage. But it's personality based. Well, one thing I've used recently, now all other comedians can use it. recently now all other comedians can use it. I've just started because I just thought as a couching of character or an impression,
Starting point is 01:53:26 you say that you're doing a tortured phone call with Comcast or something. And I just stay in Regis. And the person is either from another country or they don't know. Honest to God, I couldn't find the password or whatever. So if you just say, sometimes I knew this coach. Sometimes I'm on with AT&T. And you just say, sometimes I knew this coach, sometimes I'm on with, you know, AT&T.
Starting point is 01:53:46 And you just stay in that character. It's like saying you're sharing a prank phone call, whether you do it or not. Yeah, that makes sense. I did a part in a Tina Fey cartoon called Mulligan. Oh, yeah. So I just basically looked at Daniel Craig in Knives Out and sort of took that guy. That's a Southern guy.
Starting point is 01:54:08 Mr. President, we're going to have a problem with all this here unless we get a hold of it. It just stays downhill. And I don't care if it's accurate, but it's just downhill. But it is because that's a guy. It's a guy. And just go like that. I just think we should get rid of people that aren't white.
Starting point is 01:54:22 I mean, I play this kind of race. The world has ended, and I'm this horrible person. Well, they're darker than us, and that is scary. This is a God-fearing Christian nation, and I fear for its very survival if we let things of that nature creep in, elements outside a Christian peer view. So it was fun to do that part.
Starting point is 01:54:43 By the way, I like that more than the one that he did. How about that? Well, probably I took it further. I mean, by the end it was, and then I was doing him. Because it gets wacky. It's hilarious when that guy gets into that. And I do a woman character where I just contract my ab. Well, I don't know what you all are fixing to do.
Starting point is 01:55:00 A really clueless woman. I probably got it from somewhere, but it definitely is an ab workout. Yeah, you have to squeeze? Yeah, I don't know how you get people to sit in this chair so long. Your back's hurting over time, and the whiskey hits you and you get dehydrated. Why do they, you know, so anyway, it's just fun. I do them. I do them for myself sometimes.
Starting point is 01:55:24 Will you do me a favor at some point? Will you take my phone number? Will you just call me and leave me a voicemail of you just doing voices? If you start thinking of something and you're like, man, I want to run this character out loud, just send it to me, please. Well, when I did with Steve Martin and Martin Short, they're really good friends with Dennis Miller. So I did. Steve Martin said, will you call me later and talk to me as Dennis Miller. OK. Whiskey ginger. All right. That's a nice motif.
Starting point is 01:55:50 All right. Alcohol's all the rage these days with, you know, the Reynolds kid and the gin thing he's got going on. This is a toddle in town. OK. I guess the school's out for summer and you put up camp in here. So whatever. Okay, get the inebriation going. But anyway, yeah, I will call you. Please. We'll run into each other. I peeked in the improv because I was a couple comedians past you the other night
Starting point is 01:56:17 when I did a warm-up set. Oh, really? I peeked in. How did I do? Crushing. Was it good? You were crushing. Oh, Dana.
Starting point is 01:56:24 This means the world to me i would i would just say you were very just relaxed up there i'm very yeah i've learned to be the most comfortable version of myself i actually think to answer your question from before when you said how did the snl thing hurt me or what did it feel yeah um it made me a much better comedian and i have learned i genuinely genuinely think after that, I felt kind of, I don't know, empowered. I was like, fuck it. I got there.
Starting point is 01:56:51 That's crazy. I'm good. And I almost felt like when Lauren was like, you're going to be fine. I think he meant it. Like I really believed. Oh no, he wouldn't bring you out unless he thought you were talented enough.
Starting point is 01:57:01 He was going to hear about you. But when he said that, it made me feel like, oh shit shit, I guess I am okay. I guess the comedy is okay. And it was comforting in a weird way. The rejection was – everyone was like, fuck that. You feel like – are you bummed out? Like all my friends thought I was really bummed about it.
Starting point is 01:57:18 And it was, yeah, but I was also like, yeah, but I guess this is just a, a, a tick on my box of like, that's amazing. I got to do it. Yeah. And it wasn't, and I wasn't a sketcher and improv guy anyway. So all my sketch and improv friends, I was like, well, they're the ones that are fist fighting for it every day. I wanted to just be in the world so bad because I was in love with it my whole life. But it, it, you know, I think it, I think it helped. I think it you know i think it i think it helped i think it was i think it was exactly what made me the comic stand-up i am today being way more comfortable it made me go oh fuck it we're fine i read enough i work enough it'll come together on its own yeah yeah i think for everybody if kids are watching this hey that garth guy was on there um yeah just don't let show business eat you alive don't
Starting point is 01:58:05 don't hang out too much with bitter comedians and dive into that you know comedians are in a circle after the show and they're just ripping
Starting point is 01:58:13 some huge you know who sucks you know who sucks and then there's a pause and someone says so anyway you know that's the end
Starting point is 01:58:20 after 10 minutes of trashing some huge comedian yeah they go can I get a ride it's just been done before man so fucking annoying I mean you can't even That's the end. After 10 minutes of trashing some huge comedian. Yeah, they go, can I get a ride? It's just been done before, man. It's so fucking annoying. I mean, you can't even.
Starting point is 01:58:30 So anyway, the next one. But don't get in and just look at your feet. The only thing in control is just try to put out a good product. Get better. Just be better. Just be better. Better at any age, doing anything. Just be better.
Starting point is 01:58:44 Victimhood is the number one disease that makes you, and bitterness makes you, unable to be successful. And people are attracted to positive people. Hell yeah. I just like to give lessons in there. I like it. In case there's like a college kid who just watched Wayne's World. We end the show this way.
Starting point is 01:59:00 So this is a good way. We end the show the same way. One word or one phrase. Usually, it used to be a word years ago. And then the show the same way one word or one phrase usually it used to be a word years ago and then some people wanted to say something powerful or a phrase so you look into that camera you say one word or one phrase we'll end the episode on this so whatever your statement is this is going to close the show whenever you're ready what i what it has to be different from what i just said is the idea yeah i want it to be i want it to be uh one word or one
Starting point is 01:59:23 phrase if you leave something for the kids. Right. The only thing you can control in your life is yourself. Look at your feet and just get better every day. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Starting point is 01:59:56 Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

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