Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Erik Griffin 3.0
Episode Date: February 5, 2021Santino sits down with the mocha to his peanut butter, Erik Griffin to talk about dementia and realizing the moment you become your parents parent, changing of the guards in LA / Hollywood and why LeB...ron got into it with a fan and how it is the same thing we deal with in comedy. More Griff http://www.erikgriffin.com/ ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! DUKE CANNON - Get your beard feeling, smelling and looking amazing https://dukecannon.com/ SQUARESPACE - Help design your website today with amazing templates and the help of professionals https://squarespace.com/whiskey Use promo code WHISKEY for 10% off UPSTART - Consolidate your debt today https://www.upstart.com/whiskey and get the best rates today Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips EDITING AND PRODUCTION DESIGN BY THE AMAZING WHISKEY GINGER TEAM JENNA SUNDE https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday/ JOE FARIA https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria Y&S https://www.instagram.com/youngandsick/ Intro Music by Rocom: https://www.youtube.com/user/RocomTelevision Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome to the show. Got a good one for you today.
I sound like Steve Harvey. We got a good one for you today. I'm watching too much family food.
My boy Eric Griffin is here. Love this dude. So much fun, man. Such a lighthearted,
beautiful dude. That delicious caramel skin. That wonderful half andhalf mocha smooth skin he's got, that racially ambiguous skin he's
got. I love Eric Griffin. He's my man. I'm not on tour right now, sadly. I will be back after I'm
done filming the second season of FX's Dave. Hopefully, you may. I don't even know. We're
not sure right now. But andrewsantino.com will have all that information. If you're looking for merch,
if you're on YouTube, look down below in the merch bar. You can
buy shirts, hats, glasses, everything's
always there.
Otherwise, go to andrewsantinostore.com
And if you're on YouTube, please hit the
subscribe button down there or there, wherever it is,
and hit the notification bell so you know what we post
every single Friday. But please
subscribe and spread that word so it helps us grow together. Also, if you're looking for more
Whiskey Ginger content, go to patreon.com slash Whiskey Ginger podcast. That's where I do the
Cheeto chats, which is solo stuff. And for the top tier, I do Zoom calls where we all sit around
and we talk smack to each other in the Zoom room. It's super fun. I really enjoy doing it.
So go check out the Patreon.
Help support the show that you enjoy so very much.
I'm done rambling.
Let's go to the episode.
In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.
You're that creature in the ginger field.
Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Gingers are pugilistic. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger.
My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth.
I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today.
It's my man, Eric Griffin, The Return.
Yeah, that is... The Return.
I'm here again. You're here again.
I needed you. Well, it's Black History Month.
Oh, yeah. Oh, here we go.
You look at your roller decks like, I actually
don't know any black people.
First of all, I know more black people
than you do, and that's a fact. That's a
fact, okay?
I wanted to kick off Black History Month
lightly. I didn't want
someone really dark.
We're going to ease people into Jamar Neighbors.
Jamar Neighbors will be the end of it.
We both.
Because he was just on Rogan. I think that's what it is.
Oh, he was? He's in the Lexicon
right now. What do you mean? Yeah, he was on Rogan.
When? I just saw
a thing about it. Oh. Well, because they were
in Austin. Oh, right. Everyone.
Rogan's starting to figure out that, damn, I don't have a, that's not a large pool.
I didn't know that he went.
That's good for him.
I love Jamal.
A lot of people are in, they just go.
No, I know.
I know.
Fahim just went down there.
Indefinitely, too.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
He doesn't, I mean, who knows?
Indefinitely?
What, did he sell his condo?
No, no, no.
No, I just mean he doesn't know when he's going to come back in terms of like, I think
he's out there to hang out, do shows.
I think he was working remotely on something.
Oh, okay, well that makes sense.
You know what I'm saying?
I just think he'll figure out when he wants to come back when he comes back.
But yeah, no, that's good.
I didn't know.
I don't follow, I don't see Joe's stuff anymore too because now that they switched over to Spotify, I feel like I never see it come up on my feed.
Yeah, I think that there's something going on there.
But if I was YouTube,
Spotify is now going to be a direct competitor
because they're about to do a video element.
They're already doing video.
It's just not popular yet.
It's just not a thing in people's head
where they go,
oh, let's start going to Spotify video.
Then YouTube's got to be like, yeah, let's start doing, let's start going to Spotify video.
Then YouTube's got to be like, yeah,
man, you got to pick. Right.
Right? Well, no, because I think, well,
he still puts up clips I've seen.
I've seen like a clip pop up.
So I think he's allowed to do clips, but he can't do full chunks of an episode.
I still think his episode, doesn't his...
The episodes on YouTube, I don't think.
I think it's only clips
I don't even know
but what's the difference
the clips get a million views
you know what I mean
it's like
I put up a clip of this show
it's like 3,000 people
his clips
somebody tweeted
today
Billy Bonnell said
oh god
something to the effect of like
I should just pull it up
just to read it directly
but
you know Joe Rogan's dog, Marshall?
Oh, like 300,000?
Try 800,000.
I'm out.
That's it.
I'm done.
Bro.
That kind of stuff infuriates me.
And Billy is such a funny comedian.
If you don't know Billy Bonnell, look him up.
He goes, in four years,
someone might ask me why I quit comedy,
and I will sadly reply,
because Joe Rogan's dog has 780,000 followers,
and that really messed with my head. Yeah. I mean, it's so like honestly when you see that you're like that many people want to follow a golden retriever dude it's just
it's just yeah you just go then you know then you're sitting at home you're looking at your
Instagram you're just thinking to yourself like what am I doing yeah this doesn't matter like
what what what does this even matter people know what what they want. Have you got a part of this new dumb clubhouse?
I just got a request to do a show.
They're doing stand-up shows.
On that app?
Yeah, that's what I got told.
I tweeted yesterday,
at what point is Instagram going to try to buy Clubhouse
and when they say no,
they're just going to do what they're doing.
I mean, that's what they all do, right?
That's what Instagram's been doing
ever from the beginning.
Right.
If you don't let us buy you,
we'll just steal your idea.
We'll just do what you do.
Like they try to do TikTok now,
like in the Discover thing.
Reels.
Yeah.
Swing and a miss,
and that one's way outside.
Like all these apps are trying to mimic each other
or just buy out the
property. To me, it's like, just stick to what you're
good at. I like you for what I like you for.
I don't like this clubhouse thing.
So I haven't even used it. It's just like some
sort of like group chatting, but like
voice. Like, you know, you just go into a group and you hear
people talking. And I don't like that. And
another thing I don't like is...
By the way, somebody hit me up.
The way you just did that. And I don't like it. And let me tell you another thing I don't like. No by the way, somebody hit me up. The way you just did that.
And I don't like it.
And let me tell you another thing I don't like.
No, but I just realized something right now.
Somebody tweeted at me the other day.
Oh, it was a comment on the King and the Sting.
It was like, he goes, oh, Griffin's on here?
I'm out because he's a whiny bitch, right?
Really?
Yeah.
And then another one, somebody tweeted at me like, you complain on every podcast,
you know? And I thought to myself,
do I? And I thought, you know what?
Fuck you. Yeah, I do. Yeah.
Because that's my brand, bitch. Right.
Bitching with Griffin. Yeah.
Bitching with Griffin, yeah.
That's my brand, okay? So,
I thought about it. I said, you know what? I'm just going to
lean into it. I'm putting my foot in it.
Can you imagine if someone said, like, Bill Burr complains too much?
You're like, that's what he's good at.
That's what we do.
Yeah, but you're good at...
When you complain...
When you and I...
I mean, who am I to talk?
I complain about everything.
When you and I complain,
there's purpose.
It's not just complaining just to complain.
I'm just...
I have a thing.
You know whose fault this is?
Stupid-ass Bobby.
This is Bobby's fault.
Everything is his fault.
Yeah, because he'll come with his thing.
You complained,
like the way he says it
and then all those,
all his like troll minions,
you know what I mean?
They start to be like,
yeah, you complained.
I was like,
do you listen to Tiger Belly?
All he does is complain.
He complains all the time,
but all of a sudden,
I'm in,
I own complaining.
But anyways,
let me get back to my complaint.
Bitching with Griffin. So it's like Clubhousehouse so you get a notification that like it'll be like
it's free by the way yeah you get a notification that like a discussion is going on so if you
click that notification all of a sudden you pop into it and then now you're there you have to say
something and then you're like oh i heard i did it i've done it twice now where i pop in by accident
no no you just voice then someone goes goes, oh, hey, Eric Griffin.
I'm like, oh, no.
Just change your name on there to something else
so they don't know it's you.
It doesn't even matter.
I just don't want that.
They need to change that.
They should ask me, would you like to join?
It's like how Zoom is like,
do you want to be muted when you join the conversation
or use video, right?
If it says on Zoom, it goes, every time I join something,
it doesn't automatically start the video.
I have to approve it.
I set it up like that.
So when I get into a Zoom,
if I'm not ready to be on video,
I don't want to be sitting there
adjusting myself.
And they're like,
well, hey, we've been waiting 15 minutes.
You know what I mean?
Like I want it to be blank
so I can set up.
I haven't used it though.
Last night,
my friend showed me,
he showed me what the app looks like but i
didn't really toy with it but it seems like it's it's it's it's it's supposed to be two people
having a private conversation that everyone gets to hear that's what it is right i have no idea
uh i think that it's a but they offered a show i got offered to do stand-up on it i haven't done
stand-up a couple months and i just am not in a rush to do it i don't know i have a little notepad next
to my bed now i've been writing stuff to myself let me do i want to write this and then you'll
come up with some premise and it'll just be like what yeah you know like i was thinking about this
thing about like because who cares right you know so i was thinking about this, like, at what point did you realize your parents were dumb or that they didn't really know stuff?
Yeah.
And I remember for me what it was because my mom used to tell me to flush the toilet twice.
Twice.
I've heard this before.
My mom would be like, flush it again.
And then I thought it wasn't to a point where I was like, this isn't sucking the smell down on the second flush.
Like, bitch, you dumb.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
So I was like, oh, that's kind of funny.
It clears the air.
It clears the air, the water.
It was like, that doesn't work.
That's the moment where I thought, oh, my mom don't know science.
Like, that's not scientifically.
She's beautiful and smart, but just not in that category.
Yeah, she don't know science.
So I thought, like, then you get down the rabbit hole of, like, do our parents,
like, when do you realize you don't know science. So I thought like, then you get down a rabbit hole of like, do our parents, like, you know,
when do you realize you don't know anything?
What age do you think it is that you realize you might be smarter than your parents?
Man.
Well, you think you're smarter than your parents.
Well, that's, no, no, no.
When you turn like 13 or 14.
When do you realize, when do you, what is the age where you go, not in general, but
I think it's your late 20s.
That you find out there's some things you go i can't believe
they don't know that yeah yeah yeah yeah or or you're or for me i realized that my mom comes
from an era where just being blatantly racist is totally okay it's still okay today you know
just like you realize some things about your parents like they don't know stuff you go like
oh that's inappropriate like if they say something right i know yes where they say something you go i know you don't mean that
the way that it like what it means you mean it the way what it used to mean well i kind of feel
like what it used to mean is even worse than what it means now maybe you know what i mean maybe so
my mom said some stuff where i go oh you can't say that what did she say she'll say some stuff
like and by the way i chalked this also up to the dementia right now.
But still –
It's Alzheimer's and dementia?
Just dementia.
Alzheimer's is the word.
It's a countdown clock to that.
Then that's a countdown clock to death, unfortunately.
See, I'm too dumb to understand because I don't know that they're all – they're not mutually exclusive.
But usually dementia leads to Alzheimer's, right?
Yeah, yeah.
But it doesn't mean you're going to get it. exclusive, but usually dementia leads to Alzheimer's, right? Yeah, yeah. That's what I...
But it doesn't mean you're going to get it.
It doesn't mean you're going to get it, but you usually do.
You probably do.
Yeah.
Some weird...
So I don't know.
Right.
Yeah, but my mom's always said...
There was this woman that she used to work with, so she still thinks...
She remembers her as if...
My mom thinks she just retired a week ago.
Oh. You know, because of the, you know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she'll be like you know, this tamale
eating Guatemalan bitch.
You know.
Dude.
That's so funny. Don't let her
say that. That's hilarious. On Facebook.
Oh, just out loud to people?
She's just, you know. So I had to
I know. That's just, you know. So I had to.
I know.
That's so funny to me.
I had to.
Especially if she used a tamale emoji or something. I made her private.
She doesn't know she's not writing to anyone.
Oh, she wouldn't know anymore.
She doesn't even know.
So she's writing stuff into the ether.
She's writing to the void.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's like that kind of stuff.
But my mom has said things like that.
Just casually.
Our parents used terms like towel head. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah you know what i mean yeah that's the kind of that's a
term they would use yeah yeah you know and so you go you go oh man that's not you can't say that
anymore or you know so that's the kind of thing where you go you realize they're not as savvy about
cultural and racial relations uh they they might not know things about money.
They might say things like, ooh, I don't do mutual funds.
You know what I mean?
You start going like things about buying property or how they want to go about things.
And so I think when you got into your late 20s, you get 27, 28, is when you're looking
at your parents like, oh, man, I'm becoming a parent.
I think it's the moment like, do you remember the moment,
maybe because your parents are great,
where they're not a comfort anymore.
You know that moment where they're just not like, you know?
Well, I had to crack out of that shell early because I left.
I literally said this today, this morning, to the old bag.
I said, I was out going for a run, and I said,
you know what's a real trip?
I was saying how beautiful it is.
I was like, oh, my God, I'm running outside in February.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's 72.
I was like, it's a great place.
But I was saying, you know, I was thinking about L.A., and I said, man, I've been outside of Chicago for 19 years or whatever.
And it just sunk in my soul.
I was like, man, I've been gone for so long.
You're not even from Chicago anymore. No, seriously. years or whatever and it just sunk in my soul i was like man i've been gone for so long you're
not even from chicago anymore no seriously so i had to just kind of like i learned that i think
i learned early on that i was like i just got to be my own man too fast because they weren't like
you can always come back oh it was never it wasn't like a they were measuring your room
table this stuff like that or whatever they were gonna do you want any of this stuff we're throwing it all away no but it wasn't like it was never my parents also were always
tough love anyway i mean you can tell when you know me it's like yeah i never was coddled it
was never like oh it's okay it was always like you're gonna be fine you're gonna be fine that's
that's a phrase my mom um my mom used to say all the time. And I told her one time that I didn't like it, but she used to say, it'll be okay.
Like, shut up, who cares?
But sometimes you don't want to hear it's going to be okay.
You want to hear like...
Sometimes you want to be like, you don't see that bruise on my knee?
It hurts.
Yeah.
But no, so the tough love thing and the whole like letting me fly free
was kind of part of me having to like get away from the comfort zone
because they were like, yeah, if you're going to go to California, go. The soft love thing and the whole letting me fly free was kind of part of me having to get away from the comfort zone.
Because they were like, yeah, if you're going to go to California, go.
But did your parents, were your parents into corporal punishment?
Did you get hit?
Yeah, come on.
You know that.
Okay, okay.
Duh, right?
Yeah, look at me.
Yeah, so I remember.
You can't not hit a redheaded child. But I remember the moment that that wasn't going to work anymore.
Oh, the hitting?
Yeah.
Right, when you're like, I'm too big to get hit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I remember the moment where I grabbed my mom by the shoulders. Yeah. And I. Oh, the hitting? Yeah. Right, when you're like, I'm too big to get hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I remember the moment
where I grabbed my mom
by the shoulders
and I was like,
Ma, don't do that.
You know what I mean?
I was like, calm down,
calm down, all right?
You know I can mess you up.
You know what I mean?
Like, Ma, you know?
And so it was like...
I don't want to be driving you
to the hospital.
I remember that
and I remember her
looking at me differently too.
She looked at me like,
oh, there's a man in my house now.
You know what I mean?
Like, well, especially cause you're not a small guy.
You're tall.
You're a big guy.
So like, that's also intimidating to parents.
Like sometimes when my dad would get like, you know, we'd get into an argument and he
would get like up in me.
I'm much bigger than them.
I'm bigger than them.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
So it feels weird feeling it.
You're like, cause you're scared cause it's your father.
Yeah.
It is an emotional. But you're like, oh, I scared because it's your father. Yeah, there's an emotional.
But you're like, I'm also like, but I'm big and tougher than you.
I can, I might.
Dad, you need to.
But my mom used to like, oh, my goodness.
But I would get cracked real hard.
We had a hallway in our apartment that like, it was, okay,
so there was two doors at the end of a,
so two hallways connected to each other and two doors at the end so two hallways
connected to each other
and two doors at the end
so you can literally
run around in a circle
so I used to run
from my mom
in a circle
like a Benny Hill movie
yeah she would
she literally would
chase me with a belt
and that's how I'd be like
you know
and so like
but it gets to the point though
like sometimes
the whooping would stop
because we would both
start laughing
because it's so hilarious
because she's chasing me but I would be laughing like ha ha ha you would both start laughing. Because she's chasing you. Because it's so hilarious.
Because she's chasing me.
But I would be laughing like, ha, ha, ha, you know, like thinking, okay, I hope she's not going to hit me again.
And then she would say things like, there was a tree in the backyard.
She'd be like, go get a switch off that tree.
You know what I mean?
And then there was that one time we laughed again because the tree was cut down and she didn't know.
So I came back in and I was like, oh, my God, the tree's gone.
What am I going to do? down and she didn't know so i came back in and i was like oh my god the tree's gone what am i gonna do but anyway my point is there's a moment where you realize you go oh we're looking at our parents in a different way right and then for me it got to a point where i realized too i was like
oh i'm gonna have to look after my my parents well right that's that's we all have to serve
at some point right like to be you become the parent and all that stuff and i know you're
going through it more we've talked talked a lot about it, actually,
about what your mom is going through
and all that stuff,
and you having to take care of her.
What is wild to me is
you're having to take care of someone
who doesn't know you sometimes.
Well, you know what?
She's at a mild stage right now.
It's still bad.
And I don't know what's worse.
I mean, it's like,
do you want it to be where your parent doesn't know anything,
doesn't know you?
Or, like, how about, like, she knows you, but she thinks she's in Alaska.
You know what I mean?
It's like this weird, like, I'm talking and I'm thinking, okay, okay, okay.
And then she'll say something and I'll be like, oh, no.
So it's like, you know.
And like I say, knock on wood, my stepfather, he's still doing great.
How old is he? I don't even know how old he is. He's younger than you know, and like I say, knock on wood, my stepfather, he's still doing great. How old is he?
I don't even know how old he is.
He's younger than my mom, though.
But he's, you know, I don't know if he's in great health, you know, because I always tell him to stop eating cookies.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, but come on, cookies.
I know, right?
It's like at some point, like my grandmother is 90 years old, and she's like, she's traveling during corona.
She's like, you're're gonna tell me not to
live now i'm gonna die yeah like it's leave me alone she's like i'll wear a mask and i'm getting
on a plane to go see people yeah that's tough i mean they were just like my whole family was like
what are you gonna say i know at this point and i lived 90 years well my parents moved to spain
for like four years yeah when my when they got on the plane, I looked
at my parents and I looked at my mom and I
had to say in the back of my head,
I may never see her again. Yeah.
Just because she's in her 70s, I don't know.
Yeah. And so like... But you ended up
going to Spain a few times. I know, but it was like,
but still, I'm glad I had that thought
in my head. Sure. Because it
prepared me more for what's
happened because now I haven't seen my mom again.
You get what I'm saying? Because it's not that person that left. And that's the toughest part
because now I am glad I went to go visit my mom so many times. I am glad I had that experience
because now I remember the last time that she was somewhat herself was when I left.
A couple weeks later, she fell down.
That accelerated the process.
Did she hit her head?
I don't know if she hit her head, but I looked this up.
When someone is in that range of where – because she was already having memory problems,
so we already knew something was up.
Right.
But even when – like I said, I visit her for Christmas,
and she says to me, I said, what's up?
You know, because I could tell she was like, she goes, you know,
I'm getting confused.
And she was depressed about that.
Yeah.
Because she doesn't want to be, that's, like, I know what she wants.
Like, she don't want to be on machines.
Right.
You know what I mean?
I know this about her.
Nobody, I mean, I don't think anybody does.
But she's very, like, she hates feeling like, like, I know this,
and the hard part is,
if my mom was aware, like if it was an out-of-body experience
and she had her faculties and she saw that she was this way,
it would crush her.
Right.
I know this about my mom, right?
So that was the last time we were together.
And then I'm telling my stepfather, I go,
you know what, you need to go to the doctor.
We need to go to the doctor. We need to go to the doctor.
And then as we're talking about doing that, she went on a walk someplace and fell down.
Just like tripped?
Yeah, she probably tripped and fell, you know?
Yeah.
And then my college, she was someplace she wasn't supposed to be.
She didn't know where she was.
And then it was like, and that was that.
And now we're here at this point.
Right.
You know,
that's when the whole thing
about her grandmother started.
She thinks her grandmother's alive.
You know,
so she was calling me
right after that
being like,
you know,
her grandmother and her aunt
who are both dead.
So her aunt,
she thinks her aunt is visiting.
When?
Soon?
No, no, no, no.
When this was happening in Spain.
She's still in Spain.
So she's calling me from Spain
being like,
Eric,
I don't know where Auntie is.
She went for a walk and she hasn't come back.
And I'm like, you know, and I'm going like, uh-oh.
So I get on the phone with Mike and we're like, let's get on a plane and come home.
And I knew he was ready to come home anyway because he only moved there for her.
She wanted to be adventurous and do things.
And I think they enjoyed themselves because they went traveling all over the place.
You know what I mean?
Because when you're in a place like that, there's so many places to go in Europe.
Yeah, that's why it's so nice.
Right.
So again, I always felt like I lived, I enjoyed my mom.
She helped me, raised me, did all these things for me.
So now later in her life where she doesn't have to worry about money or anything,
she's like, okay, I'm going to go do this. Selfishly, I could have been like, you can't
move to Spain. What are you talking about? But I thought, you know what? Let me let them do what
they want to do and not stand in the way, just be supportive. But it's hard.
Well, it's the same way that I don't know how my parents did it when I said I'm moving to
California. It was 2,000 miles away. I know there's a piece of them. I was like, you really got to move that far?
But they support.
It's the same way. You support your mom
and you want her to
live out her life and not be like,
well, I want you here for me. But it's like
at some point you have to just let people do what they want to do.
Yeah, so I feel that way when I think about people
like what you're saying about your grandma.
Your grandma's 90.
She had her time.
She's like, you know what I mean?
Right.
This motherfucker lived.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's like, if she's like now,
and then like imagine you've lived
and you barely get to go out as it is
because you're 90 years old, you know?
And now the government's telling you like,
yeah, you got to stay home.
You're like, no.
When you live through wars,
the government's like, there's a virus out there.
You're like um i'll be
okay yeah like i lived through the depression my my grandmother eats leftovers from like eight
years ago like she's like my grandma used to cut mold off cheese like this is fine and bread
bread too yeah don't throw that out i do that now because of my grandma just cut off the edge yeah
i just did that rachel was tripping she was was like, and Rachel has like, she'll be like, you know what I mean?
She wouldn't even want to take the trash out.
She smells it and she'll be like, I love it.
I think she's putting it on.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, Eric, help.
I know, I know, I know.
The damsel in the trash.
Yeah.
No, I'll cut mold right off of stuff.
I did the same thing.
But actually, that's supposed to be okay anyway.
Yeah, of course it is.
It's just where it's centralized.
Yeah, so.
Also, a little bit of bacteria is fine.
The same people that say they don't like that stuff, they eat cheese.
Cheese is mold.
Thank you.
Yeah, it's already curdled.
It's mold.
But she used to be like, she'd pull out a green block of cheddar cheese.
Okay?
The whole shit is green. Okay? Pull out a knife and just scoop cheese. Okay? The whole shit is green.
Okay?
Pull out a knife and just scoop, scoop, scoop, scoop.
There it is.
Until it's not.
Until it's, you know, like, oh.
It's fine.
You know, oh, man.
What is that?
I bet you had it, though.
Yeah.
What are you supposed to do?
Because if you didn't, you'd get a beating.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, I don't remember having, we would go to my grandma's house over the holidays, and
we call it pop.
People say soda, but it's pop in the Midwest.
And I never had pop at my grandmother's house that wasn't flat, never once.
I never opened a pop that went ksss ever in my life, like for years as a kid.
They were too old to tighten the –
Yeah, well, also it's like you weren't drinking new pop.
No, you were drinking old pop that's been around.
I remember being a kid, staying at
my grandma's house. And she wasn't my real grandma,
but she was like, you know,
I called her my grandma. It was a weird
relationship. You know, it's like
being a kid,
being born out of
wedlock for what all the different, you know, you have
all these weird relationships, you know? Right.
But I remember thinking, oh, this woman
comes from a different time.
That's the first time I experienced somebody being really old because I'm
staying over there for a few days.
And I said, I was like, oh, okay, well, she was like, yeah, you got to go to bed
at 7.
And I was like, okay, well, can I read?
I want to read.
You would read like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, those kind of books.
Right.
She was like, oh, no, there's no reading.
The lights are off at 7.
And in my mind, I'm like, this old bitch.
You know what I mean?
She can't even listen, can't watch the TV.
It was like this old, and it's the first time I was like, man, how did you grow up?
Where did you come from?
It was the first time I started thinking about like, oh, what's happening now?
Probably it wasn't like this for you.
And like my generation, even though like I'm still older than you by 10 years,
so my generation, I remember everything.
I always say I'm the guinea pig generation because we had phone.
So we see our phone.
So we had 976 numbers.
We had the first call waiting, three-way.
All these things were happening.
You know what I mean?
We had a computer.
Then it was like, what is this?
And then it just got better.
I had a ColecoVision.
I had the bullshit version of everything people are enjoying now.
I had to live through the progression.
I was the beta of all these things.
And so that's when you really notice, like, oh, man, people from the, like, so if I have
this, like, what was happening to people that didn't have any of this stuff?
For her generation.
For her generation.
You just think of a nightmare.
Then you think of kids now.
They're not going to even understand.
Bless you. think of kids now, they're not going to even understand, bless you, not having a cell phone
or not understanding like, oh, well, social media is some kind of thing that everybody
has.
Right.
Or even something as simple as taking a lot of pictures of themselves.
Well, I thought about, when are you going to ever, I mean, look, look in your phone
right now.
Oh, dude, I already know.
I have 10,000 plus.
What am I?
And then, you know, Apple sucks about organizing it they know too
right apple's photo thing is like a trash bin and every time you take a picture you just throw it
in there it's not organized no it's trash and this is look i've got got 4700 photos in here
i don't i got way more than that yeah but you know why because i dumped all the other ones okay so
when i got my set the second time i got a new phone i was tired of being like the the cloud service the phone it
was all photos and videos yeah and mostly videos take up all the space so the dude of the apple
store was like bro just dump them on your computer into a drive and i was like oh right and then i
did and i thought well why do i keep any of these yeah what am i gonna look never gonna look at them
when am i gonna look at this only when i'm thumbing through to find an old photo. The only thing, there should be a service where all your photos go into a cloud and they stay there.
Then upon your death, then your family can look at them.
That's smart.
Because then your family would be like, oh, look at Andrew.
Wow, a lot of dick pics.
Are these all limp or was he hard in some of these?
It's remarkably small. Because you know what's hilarious about Apple's service?
Is I can organize my friends more than I can organize me.
Because you know they have that people option.
No, I never use it.
Oh, you got to use this option.
What is it?
It recognizes faces.
Oh, I've seen that in the photos.
I have a folder called, I have an Andrew one.
I just go, who is this?
I go, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I link it to your contact.
Oh, that's Andrew.
So then it just keeps organizing me.
So I can go to Andrew and say,
blah, blah, blah, all these pictures of you from wherever.
And I go, oh, okay.
And now it's listening to us talk about it.
I know.
So now it knows.
Good idea.
So this is what I'm saying.
So you look back at, you know,
kids today are always going to assume
that there's going to be a million pictures of them.
Dude, if I want to see a picture of myself at 10 years old,
I've got to find some dusty-ass photo album. You know what I want to see a picture of myself at 10 years old, I got to find some dusty ass
photo album.
It's not the same.
My dad's good for one of my dad's best friends sent me a photo
that he had found in an old book of me and my sister.
And he was like, check this out.
Whatever, and making fun of me.
Because I was looking like a real dork.
And I was like, wow, where are any of these pictures?
I don't know.
My mom has a baby book.
Me and my sister have a baby book
in my dad's like office.
And that,
if it wasn't for that album
of baby books,
I don't know where else
any other pictures of me are.
So I,
There's about 10 years
where there isn't any photos of me.
And then now your phone now
is doing this thing
where remember this?
And you just kind of go,
oh yeah.
Oh, I've seen that.
When you swipe left
and it pops,
that's a trip. Or just on the...
Actually, just on the...
That's what I'm saying. The...
The front screen. It'll be like, remember this?
Oh, see, I'll get them when I... I don't necessarily know if I
like that. I mean, sometimes it's showing like...
No, it's sometimes it's nice. Like, that show was canceled. You know what I mean?
You know? Like... So much... I'm dying
up here. Yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, I remember when I was
working. That was, you know... What if it
said that? Remember when you were working, Eric? I know. working eric oh apple just teasing you been a long time since you had
an audition in your calendar right you sure you still want to do this business listen apple no
and honestly honestly no i don't want to do this business anymore the more i'm into it the more i'm
like funny you say that though i mean i thought, though. I think we've even talked about this before, but
it's like, what's happening right
now in this past year, I realize
I like being at home.
I'm a homebody. I just wish I was
independently wealthy.
If the lottery came in right now,
not even $100 million, just give me like
three. A couple.
Give me a couple. Put that in the bank.
Tell my guy, just make sure I have enough money to pay my bills.
Yeah.
I'm out.
I would want to, what I say is this.
I would rather do the podcasting thing.
I don't want, this is what I love the most now.
When I say Hollywood, I mean the rigmarole of like going to audition after audition after audition and this and this and playing the game and meeting the person and doing the thing and taking the meeting.
Like that I don't like anymore because. I'm going to read you audition after audition and this and this and playing the game and meeting the person and doing the thing and taking the meeting and done. Like, that I don't like anymore because...
I'm going to read you a text.
You what?
Because this is the story of my career.
But like this kind of stuff?
No, this I want to do forever
because this is the connective tissue
I can finally have to people.
This is the story of my career.
So I did this audition.
And I'm so tired of these like self-tape auditions.
Oh, P.S. I haven't had one.
So thanks for rubbing it in.
So this is like, I go to my man,
hey, whatever happened to the audition I did? So this is like, I go to my man, hey, whatever happened
to the audition I did?
So this is,
it was for Atypical, okay?
What is that?
Oh, the Netflix show.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
I've seen it.
He puts it in quotes.
We adore Eric over here.
I thought he did a great job.
So, no, it's a no.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a no.
They ended up going with
this other guy
who works all the fucking time.
Can we say his name?
Yeah, Rizwan manji
you know who that is yes this dude like he's booking all your jobs works okay you know what
i mean but we remain huge fans like like i go i say the story of my life you know yeah so i so
now i text my manager i just go so have so have they already – I do an audition.
I go, have they already – have they sent the we love him but yet?
Yeah.
We love Eric, but we decided to go another direction.
Well, the problem I have with all that process,
not to get too inside baseball for listeners,
but like nine times out of ten, they've already chosen who they want.
This is – So it's like why are we doing a dog and pony show then? Unless, of course,
the director... I gotta go into my complaint mode,
but go on. I feel myself,
you know what I mean?
Bitching with Griffin, yeah.
Unless the director really is, unless they really are
open to the character
kind of finding itself through the process,
when it's something big,
usually, they know. I mean,
this is a good, bad example.
They knew they wanted you when we did I'm Dying Up Here Together.
They knew they wanted me when we did I'm Dying Up Here Together.
Yes, yes, yes.
They put on a little bit of a show saying, well, we have to run them to the traditional process in the event that something doesn't work.
At that point, though, in the testing process, I get it.
But here's my problem, okay?
Like, if you're going to send me an audition,
make the shit meaty where what I'm doing on tape
can make you go, oh, I like this.
But sometimes I have this audition and I go,
why am I doing this?
Yeah, because you're saying, you're like...
Like, you got 10 years of work you could be like,
oh, you know, what he did on I'm Dying Up Here,
what he was doing on the four other shows he's been on.
We can see him do this.
We can see him doing this.
Yes, it's so easy.
So why don't we just make a choice?
So you can have four people where you go,
oh, we like what this guy did on that.
We like what this guy did on that.
Right.
Let's see which one we want for the look of whatever.
Sure.
It's hard because you don't want to think like that.
You don't want to think you're above things. Yeah, but it's not being like that. You don't want to think you're above things.
Yeah, but it's not being above it.
You don't want to think you're better than things.
Sometimes I just go, I feel like we're wasting all of our time.
That's what it is.
That's what it is.
Because I go, why are we wasting our time?
I'm not me doing a self.
You know how hard it is to get a good self-tape, man?
It's impossible.
It's like, come on.
And then I'm reading with Rachel.
And then like, you know.
Reading with your significant other is a nightmare.
First of all. It's a nightmare. Now she thinks she's like, you know. Reading with your significant other is a nightmare. First of all.
It's a nightmare.
Now, she thinks she's fucking, you know.
She's a casting director now.
No, even worse.
She thinks she's like, she's auditioning.
Yeah, she's really reading the lines, like heavily getting into it.
You know what I mean?
She's getting ready.
Like, what you getting ready for?
You reading an audition.
Yo, what if she booked a job and you didn't?
Who's reading behind the camera?
We love her. She was wonderful.
I have to deal with that.
Sometimes I just go, give me something where I can really
bite into this.
This audition too, that one right there.
They're like, he's a face they know.
Let's just go.
I go, don't tell me you looked at this audition
and was like, oh yeah.
I'm like, I can't stand that process.
And I'm doing commercial auditions right now.
This is even a bigger nightmare.
Are they even shooting a lot right now?
Yeah, they are.
They got these like, they do their commercials.
There's this app called Blue Gene.
Blue Gene.
Yeah.
It's like a casting app.
So you go in, and then they're like, everybody's like, what?
How do you?
I can't hear.
It's such a nightmare.
Please turn your camera to the side.
OK, the sides are in the chat.
I did this one the other day where it was for older people.
They wanted an older look, I guess, or a sound.
And these people, they didn't know what to do.
Every single, these grandpas, you know, you know what I mean?
They're just like, I don't see it, you know, click the chat, you know, I don't see it.
So I just go, man, to go through all that process and then you get a no, or you get
like, you just like, oh, but that's the business.
Is it better than, it's better than sitting in the car
Sitting in traffic
Going to a place
To then get a no
When your whole day
Was centered around something
It's almost easier
To get a no in your house
Sometimes I feel like
Yeah even with those
Like you go
I remember doing this
I remember doing an audition
For this Matt LeBlanc show
You know what I mean
The man with the plan
The man with the plan
You know what I mean
Is that what it's called
Or the other one
Whatever
Tim Allen has one
Just like that
Man on the moon Man of war Working man Working man plan. You know what I mean? Is that what it's called or the other one? Whatever. Tim Allen has one just like that.
Man on the moon or man of war. Working man.
Working man.
I don't know what it is.
Man's man.
You know, last man standing.
That's what it is, right?
Yeah, yeah.
So I go, I do the audition.
It was such, again, one page.
Yeah.
Being like, whatever, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Beat to the table read.
Yeah.
The lines are different.
Of course.
Of course.
I'm sitting next to a writer.
People still laugh at that thing.
I say, hey, what happened
to all those funny lines
I had from the thing?
I booked a job off what I,
you know.
Yeah, well, they'll probably
come back, I don't know.
They ain't coming back.
Get to the table read
before the shoot
because it's a three camera.
You know that little thing?
Yeah.
Again, lines gone, you know.
More lines gone.
More lines gone.
And the director says,
Eric, you know,
we don't want you to,
don't be too big on, you know.
And in my mind, I'm thinking, so the
thing that you
booked me for. Correct.
So the thing I did at the audition
with all those lines I had. That you loved.
That you loved because you hired me.
You don't want me to do that.
It's insane.
Why did you hire me? Dude,
then they take away lines to the point where,
let's say this camera's a person,
and we have a scene where the original scene now is a back and forth,
and everybody has lines.
They've taken away all my lines, but I'm still in the blocking.
So I'm standing here.
What is this?
Thumb in your ass.
You know what I mean?
And then he's going through, you know.
They're trying to figure out the lines.
I knew.
End of the day, I get a call.
I don't know what happened.
You know?
I don't know what's going on.
They cut you.
I got fired.
What?
Yeah.
Okay?
But they have to pay you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But still, I was like, oh, my God.
You know, the reasoning was like, you know.
I don't even want to say, but I knew what the deal was.
And then I see, what's his face that's on the show?
Nealon.
Oh, Kevin, yeah.
He's on the show.
Yeah, yeah, he's been on there.
And I see him at the concert.
He goes, it happens almost every week, man.
Somebody gets fired.
What do you think it is?
You're too funny?
People don't want to be upstage, man.
I don't know what it was. A lot of people too funny? People don't want to be upstage, man. I don't know what it was.
A lot of people on their own show do not want to be upstage.
Okay, which is, you know, the reason why Seinfeld made a billion dollars, because he got upstaged
every week.
Well, that was, see, that's the one thing I'll say about that show, Intelligent, was
Jerry knew he wasn't the funniest.
He was like, I'm going to put the funniest people on earth around me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
These people that run, that have these shows.
Because Jerry wasn't a good actor.
He was surrounded by,
Jason Alexander was
killing it every week.
He was a genius.
You know what I mean?
What's her face?
Julia Dreyfuss.
Julia Dreyfuss.
She's won three Emmys
on three different shows.
He knew, he was like,
yeah, I'm just going
to be the guy.
I'm going to bounce
off these people.
Yeah, he was smart.
It's like, that's how
you, anyways.
No, no, it's true
because when people
make shows now,
they always want to
be the star and you're
like, why? You're the star. Don't no. It's true because when people make shows now, they always want to be the star and you're like, why?
You're the star.
Don't you know it's your name on the thing?
Just make other people look so good.
Then you look incredible by way of.
I don't have to.
Whatever the reason was.
And it's probably –
It was that and probably it's like the role was for like an old black pastor too.
And so people think –
But you do.
Woo, woo, woo.
You got it. pastor too. And you know, and so people do, woo, woo, woo. Yeah. But the thing is, it's like, I don't think sometimes I'm not black enough looking for the black that they
want in Hollywood.
They have,
Eric,
I'm sorry.
You're just not black enough,
but it's like,
they have a stereotypical type of black.
Sure.
That they like.
They,
they go,
we want it to be this.
I'm mixed where it could be anything you want. Yeah. They're not sure. It's confusing to people. They're like, they go, we want it to be this. I'm mixed where it could be anything you want.
They're not sure.
It's confusing to people.
They're like, well, we've written this for,
you need to be more this.
Whatever it might be.
Some older white Jewish guy is like,
I wrote this for a black black, not a soft black.
Can you be a little more intimidating?
It is funny the way that they do that
when they write characters and you see who they wrote it for
and it's not them playing it. And it's like, well, then just give it to the person that they do that when they write characters and you see who they wrote it for and it's not them playing it.
And it's like, well, then just give it to the person that you wrote it for.
Like if I had Donnell in mind, right?
Yeah.
And I wrote Donnell Rawlings, a character on a show.
But then I casted somebody like.
Tom Papa.
Yeah.
It's like you knew who you wanted.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Write the voice that you know it's going to be.
And if you don't know and want it open well then leave it open to interpretation but i don't love it when
you do a thing and they go this is kind of how we saw it and you want to be like well then fucking
get them to do it i always feel get them to do it sometimes i feel like you know so you go to
audition and it might say we need you to be eric griffin type you know what i mean then i get there
and they're like you're not quite er Eric Griffin enough. I'm Eric Griffin.
Griff it up, though.
Griff it up.
You know, so it's like I just, I don't know.
Anyway, you go through that whole process and even still, you know, I book the job.
Yeah.
And I'm still, you know, for something that's like, I'm like, what?
I did one day at a time, the new one, you know?
And I remember like.
I don't know what that is.
Oh, you did one day at a time.
Oh, Netflix.
The Netflix one.
They redid the show.
Yeah, they redid it.
And it's like, you know. Gloria Kellner on Kellett. I know her. She's awesome. I know. Norman Lear is there. Oh, they did one day at a time. Oh, Netflix. The Netflix one. They redid the show. Yeah, they redid it, and it's like, you know.
Gloria Kellner on Kellett.
I know her.
She's awesome.
Norman Lear's there.
Oh, yeah?
You know what I mean?
So I have one scene.
Yeah.
And it's at the top of the episode.
Right.
I got one scene, man.
People don't understand.
I always thought I wanted to be on a three-camera sitcom when I first got into the business.
You and I used to joke about that.
I thought, that's why I want to be the fat sitcom dad.
You know?
I really thought that that's the thing.
Until I did three-camera sitcoms.
Man, you got to get, you there.
There's a run-through.
And then another run-through.
There was a studio and a network.
And the notes.
The network notes and studio notes.
There was a Sony run-through.
Right.
There was a Norman Lear run-through. There was a Sony run-through. Right. There was a Norman Lear run-through.
There was a Netflix run-through.
Right.
You know, the note sessions and all these things.
And I was like, I got one seat.
And you're talking 20 people in each of these things,
all with different opinions about what's going to happen.
So 60 people get to voice up.
And people still laughed.
People still laughed at a time when we were taping that they didn't even imagine they were going to laugh.
Sure, of course.
So it was like this whole process.
It was crazy.
It was like I thought, oh, if I'm ever going to be on a sitcom, I got to make sure I'm one of the main characters.
Because you work more.
Sure.
When you're like a peripheral or guest star or something like that, they want you to be there all week right all week for 9 a.m for one a line you
go through all these walkthroughs it was like so it was so different i i'm not complaining about it
i'm saying i enjoyed the other shoot like the single cam better like yeah because even that has
that's just a lot of waiting around but when when you get going, you're going right.
Yeah.
When you're shooting, you're shooting.
When you're shooting, you're shooting.
It's not like you're not hanging out for a long time.
And I think that there's more freedom when you're doing a single cam of the lines and the thing, depending on the depending on the set.
But for the most part, there's a little bit more where my performance
is what's going to make this what it is.
Because on three-camera sitcoms, it's so much more about the writing.
Totally.
Like if a three-camera sitcom sucks, if it's not funny, that's all on the writers.
Yeah, it's almost not on...
Because it's so meticulous about...
Well, they stick you to the
word they want you they want the word they want to like it it's like then they had these like
weird like note sessions where in between scenes somebody comes over and goes just a second andrew
i'm gonna i'm we're we're discussing and then that person goes over to a little huddle and there's
like you know five studio people there who are unfunny as fuck. Okay?
All right?
They're just suit, unfunny suit. They're over there like,
and the guy comes back and they say like,
you know, you said we need you to maybe do this.
Yeah.
Do it this way.
Yeah.
Don't say and.
Say the.
You're like, okay. Yeah the you're like okay
you're just sitting there like
I thought it was fine
and then you also don't want to be
and this is a problem that comics have
you get on a set
they've busted their ass
these writers, editors
they've spent tons of time
and they have this script that they go
this is our shooting script and we're ready to go
then we come in
as fucking arrogant ass
idiot comics
and go,
you know,
you know what would make
this funnier?
If I said it this way.
Yeah.
So.
And then they're like,
oh really?
Yeah.
And you know what,
sometimes,
sometimes.
It is,
I mean it's funny.
It is funny.
I mean,
we're laughing
because I'm.
That's the hardest part for me. That's the hard part. I got kicked off a couple of, I did Tone Bell. Tone Bell, I've, I're laughing because I'm... That's the hardest part for me.
That's the hard part.
I got kicked off a couple of...
I did Tone Bell.
Tone Bell, I tried to do a couple of roles on his shows.
Never worked.
Well, his shows don't work, so...
Every time I try to do a...
I'm just teasing Tone.
No, he's not.
He's being real.
He stay working.
I always tease him about that.
Yeah, he's the most work-dude in Hollywood.
I'm like, you want another sitcom? Yeah. I think he lives at ABC or NBC or whatever. He stay working. I always tease him about that. Yeah, he's the most worked-up in Hollywood. I'm like, you want another singer?
Yeah.
I think he lives at ABC or NBC or whatever.
Yeah, NBC.
Whatever it is.
No, I tried a few times.
And every time I go in on those shows, I just don't – I'm not good with the rhythm.
I have nothing against him.
I just know I'm not good at it.
I just know I'm not good at it.
I've tried.
Something is missing.
You put me in a single-camera world, I'm having – it's totally different for me.
Yeah, it's different.
I think it's just the nature of it.
And then what happens, too, is on these
three-camera sitcoms, when you're performing in front
of a live audience, and as a comic,
now we're about to perform in front of a
live audience. Totally. And it's like something
changes.
Because you want to sell
it and get the laugh harder.
You don't want to be the guy that says a line that's a comedic line,
and it's like, well, that's why the cheese tasted bad.
And it's like smattering.
You're like, no, you wanted to just.
You know what's funny about when you're on a set like that?
Because have you ever gone to a taping, one of your friends is,
and you're just watching?
Yeah.
No, I've been to one.
Okay.
So I love like, you know,
if you look at the writer's area,
you always know
who got a joke coming up
because they're pacing.
Yeah, they pay the most attention.
Yeah, they're so ready.
Pickles my joke, you know. And then if it bombs.
That's where the cheese tasted bad.
Oh, fuck. Damn it. And then they go,
he didn't say it right.
We've been rehearsing all week. And then the other people are like,
something's off about that. That's when they had the
meeting. Yeah, yeah. They had a meeting and they go,
that's when they fire your ass, by the way.
I remember testing for, Tom Papa had this show
he was doing. A Netflix show?
No, it was at CBS. I'm testing.
Dude,
we've talked so many times. I don't even know if we've even talked about this
before, but anyway, the night before, he tells me, I get a call from him and he's like, you know, CBS, we've talked so many times, I don't even know if we've even talked about this before, but anyway, the night before, he tells me,
I get a call from him, and he's like,
you know, CBS likes grounded.
You know, they really want you to be grounded.
It's one of these shits, man.
And I'm thinking to myself,
I have done five auditions for this show.
You all have laughed at how I am doing it.
And the night before the test,
you want to tell me to do it completely different?
Yeah.
Of course.
So I do it the way that, you know.
Grounded.
Grounded, whatever the hell that means.
Low key.
I leave the room.
Producer comes running out.
Eric, remember that note we gave you?
We're going to have you go back in again.
Okay?
Just forget all that.
I say, oh, you mean, so you want me to do it the way I've been doing it?
Do it the way that has gotten me right here?
You know, you mean do that?
Yeah.
At that point, I'm all, I'm in my head.
It just, boom, I didn't even get it.
You didn't get the job.
Then they made it.
It went from series regular to like just recurring,
and they gave it to Malcolm Jamal Warner.
I like how mad you just got.
In here, we pour whiskey.
Are you guys looking to design something on the internet to either sell or publish content
or just have a beautiful new website?
You've got to use Squarespace.
I've told you this before.
I've used Squarespace myself.
That's how I developed my homepage, and it's remarkably easy. I've said this, I'm stupid.
You guys know I'm a dumb guy. And I could use it. It's got award-winning 24-7 customer support,
which is great because I did need their help multiple times because I'm not smart.
But there's beautiful templates you can choose from. You can develop your own. You can do
something from scratch. You can use what they've already set up for you but squarespace makes it unbelievably easy to uh get get something up and running and get a site up you know almost
immediately and if you're skilled and you're artistic uh they can take care of almost anything
that you need uh but squarespace can showcase your work and uh publish content that you're
looking or or sell something like if you're looking to sell merch like we do we created our
our uh merch page through squarespace um but if you're looking for a beautiful uh templates on
design help on creating a website you got to do yourself a favor and head over to square
squarespace because they have all this built-in search engine optimization uh and free and secure
hosting that helps you stay protected while you're trying to put your product or products
out there uh squarespace is for everybody, not just for graphic designers, artists, and jewelry designers,
and musicians, and whoever you are, whatever you're doing, whatever you're making, whatever
you're selling, whatever you want out to the world, please use Squarespace.
It's incredible.
Go to squarespace.com slash whiskey for a free trial.
And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code whiskey to save yourself 10% off your
first purchase of a website or domain.
That's squarespace.com slash whiskey to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com slash whiskey to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hey guys, it's been tough, huh? The panty's been a little bit tough on everybody
financially. Everyone's wallets are getting a little tin, little tin. Also, a lot of people
are racking up a lot of credit card debt. I know that's a bummer. I know that's hard because you're
doing what you have to do. But if you're looking for help, like many people are, please use Upstart.
Upstart is the way to go if you're trying to get yourself out of a little financial corner that you've backed yourself into.
They find smarter and trusted rates with trusted partners because they assess more than just one time over with your credit score.
With a five-minute online rate check, you can see your rate up front for loans from $1,000 to $50,000. $50,000. So if you have a little bit of debt or
a pretty substantial amount of debt, Upstart's going to help you out. You get approved the same
day and receive funds as fast as one business day. So if you're in dire straits and you really
need it, if debt has taken over your life, do yourself a favor and go to Upstart. It's time to get a fresh start with Upstart. They're there to help you. They're
there to get you out of this financial scramble because them stimulus checks aren't doing it,
Biden. It's not cutting the cake, pal. People need help, and Upstart is there to help you.
Find out how Upstart can lower your monthly payments today. Go over to upstart.com slash whiskey.
That's upstart.com slash whiskey.
Don't forget to use the URL to let them know we sent you, baby.
Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit, income,
and certain other information provided in your loan application.
Go to upstart.com slash whiskey.
Duke Cannon.
Isn't that a cool name?
Duke Cannon.
I really love it.
Duke Cannon.
What a good company. Duke Cannon sent me three products via the mail. And look, over the years, I've tried different stuff for my beard. You know I'm a beardy man. And I've tried all sorts of oils, conditioners, serums. And one of my biggest problems with it is I don't like how they smell. Truly. A lot of times they send you stuff and you're like, this stinks, man.
I don't want this in my face all day.
Duke Cannon's products genuinely smell good.
I was surprised the first time I huffed them.
I was like, I actually like this stuff.
They sent me the beard wash, the beard oil, and the beard balm.
The best damn beard wash, the best damn beard oil, and the best damn beard balm.
But I wanted to give you what it was up front a little bit.
But listen, a lot of people don't condition their beard.
A lot of people don't use products in their beard at all.
That's fine.
I highly recommend you do.
It makes it smoother for your skin underneath so you don't break out.
It doesn't get as all crunchy and nasty,
especially if a loved one is snuggling up against your face.
You want to keep it nice and sexy, smelling good and smooth.
And it's good for the hair, and it's good for your facet. Ducanon's products are incredible. They're affordable,
and they stink good, which I told you, they actually are awesome. You need to do yourself
a favor. If you've got hair on your facet, man, woman, or child, doesn't matter who you are,
Ducanon's products are for you. The smell is delicious. The oak barrel scent is made with buffalo trace bourbon
which come on
you know the rocket likes that jazz
and the beard balm is great too
each of these things are
$15-$30 for the oil
$15 for the wash, $15 for the balm
super reasonably priced
so if you've got some hair on your face
you need to try Duke Cannon stuff
they are phenomenal
I really do like them
make 2021 the year.
You help your beard fulfill its potential with high-quality beard goods from Duke Cannon.
Pick up some next time you're at Target or Target, as fancy peeps say.
DukeCannon.com is also where you can get them to pursue the full line of superior offerings whenever it's convenient for you.
But do it sooner than later.
Your best damn beard is waiting.
DukeCannon.com.
I like gingers.
Those guys need TV work, too.
The old school guys need to make a comeback.
God, now I...
He doesn't have any residuals coming in.
They're going to say that about me.
They gave it to Eric Griffin.
That's a good place to be when they say they gave it to you.
They gave it to him.
I wish they would give me things.
I'm not...
Nobody's giving me shit, man.
Yeah, but no one's getting anything.
I think right now,
nothing's happening.
This guy that took that role
on Atypical Guy.
He's on everything, man.
I'm going to have him
on the podcast next week, actually.
Oh, God.
He's going to come by.
You just replaced me right now.
I just,
I just put his,
right,
I just cut into you.
He's there.
I'm like,
oh, thank God.
I had to get rid of him, man.
No, but you know what, though?
Of all the perils of all that stuff, I have a sickening sense that I know I love it so much
because when you're in it, it is fun.
So like...
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
All the stuff sucks.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like stand-up.
We talk about practice.
That's what it is.
Yeah, I don't like traveling.
I don't like planes.
I don't like hotels.
I don't like all...
Auditioning sucks. Practice? That's what it is. Yeah, I don't like traveling. I don't like planes. I don't like hotels.
Auditioning sucks.
But when you're on stage, just like when you're shooting a show,
there is nothing more fun.
Yeah, that's true.
You get to be a little kid in your little free bullshit world and do whatever you want.
You're playing dress up, you know?
But, you know, that's why part of it is funny
because Al Madrigal was just calling me right now.
And it's funny because it just brings me back to how fun.
Hey, what are you doing? What's going on? By the way, people don't know Al Madrigal was just calling me right now. And it's funny because it just brings me back to like how fun.
What are you doing?
What's going on?
By the way, people don't know Al Madrigal,
Al,
Al Madrigal,
hilarious comedian,
good dude.
If you're friends with him,
if he doesn't like you,
it's the way he's the worst guy to have as an enemy.
Yeah.
Of all time.
I've seen him light up people just,
just because they said one wrong thing to him.
But I think back to how fun it was to do I'm Dying Up Here
because what we're doing right now,
we would just do every day.
Yeah.
Like my favorite moment of I'm Dying Up Here
that I knew that this was going to be,
what an experience this was going to be,
is you, me, and Al are standing in that hallway.
Yeah.
And they're rehearsing a scene.
They're not even rehearsing a scene.
They're not even rehearsing.
And we're just having our normal dudes over 35 chilling.
Melissa Leo comes over and scolds us like we're six years old.
Like, don't talk during that.
Don't you dare be talking during the rehearsal.
And we all looked at each other and had this really nice unspoken communication like,
oh, bitch.
But still,
because we didn't
say it out loud.
No, well,
because it was one of those
things where you're like,
what am I going to argue with her?
What am I going to tell her?
The Oscar winner
to like go fuck herself?
No, we didn't do that.
No.
It was like,
but we had that look like,
you need to,
you know.
The same look when your dad was, when your parents fronting on you and you're bigger than need to you know the same look
when your dad was
when your parents
fronting on you
and you're bigger than them
it's the same like
I could
you know
what are we doing
I'm so bigger than you man
I knew it was gonna be fun
and I remember
like
Al and I are standing there
and Clark Duke
gets out of his car
and he walks up
with a Louis Vuitton bag
and some Gucci
his old school 911 Porsche you know know, the one with the fin
that looks like it's in an 80s sitcom.
You know what I mean?
He's such a little pretentious, you know.
You know, and he's got his, like, you know, gazelle Gucci,
whatever he has on.
And then Al and I start ripping.
Just roasting him, roasting him.
And I saw the look on his face where he was like, uh-oh.
You know what's so funny?
That's why.
Because in an actor world, none of those actors are going to make fun of each other when they
pull into the lot.
It's never going to happen.
Oh, that's...
When there's comedians on, it's over.
Those actor ones, they really got a rude awakening about dealing with us.
Yeah, because it was a nightmare.
They were like, wow, we can't do anything without getting made fun of.
Sometimes Ari, she'd had enough.
All the time.
And she would be like, okay, guys.
Yeah.
Okay, that's enough.
I would know.
I'd be like, okay, you know what?
She right.
We could go too far.
But also, we were doing a comedy show.
Well, it was a drama.
But every time we...
But it was about comedians.
Comedians.
Like, if it was based in right now, there'd be a scene where we'd be having a podcast.
Yeah.
Seriously. You know what I mean? where we'd be having a podcast. Yeah. Seriously.
You know what I mean?
Walking around and talking on a podcast.
And then it would be cut
and there'd be something
that would happen.
Speaking of which, dude,
I just saw,
I just saw Netflix inked a deal
to do a show or a movie
about the GameStop stock stuff.
Already?
That's what I said.
I was like, it just happened.
Already?
Yeah, I think it was a movie.
But they already got a guy to do it.
They signed on some young, famous, good-looking actor to do it.
They're jumping on stuff so fast.
Netflix makes so much stuff that they have now a button, an icon,
that just says, play something for me, that you can just hit it,
and it's random shuffle.
They're shuffling content.
That's how much shit they have, shows and movies. Well, they need it. Yeah, but it's unbelievable shuffle. They're shuffling content. That's how much shit they have.
Shows and movies.
Well, they need it.
I mean, they have to.
Yeah, but it's unbelievable how much it is.
It's overwhelming.
And by the way,
sitting at home all the time now,
watching all these apps now,
I feel like there's nothing on.
Man.
There's nothing on.
I know exactly what you're saying.
There's a million things
and there's almost nothing to watch.
But what's crazy, though,
is you could sit there for 30 minutes
scrolling through Netflix going, there's nothing on this,
even though things are zooming by.
But you're like, I don't want to watch that.
I want to watch that.
I want to watch that.
And if it's old properties, sometimes I want to watch an old movie.
But for some reason, every time I'm like, oh, I love that movie,
I'll look it up on Netflix, and it's not there there or i can't stand starting to watch a show and not realize that this show is 10 years
old oh i've done that a bunch like i got excited about this new show like you as i think it's
called you're the one or you're the oh i watched it last one it's the one with the the kid from
the the comic from the comic store the black kid with like all the hair he was dating a girl that
was uh dating jeff ross oh i watched he was on this mtv show yeah are you the comic store, the black kid with all the hair, he was dating a girl that was dating Jeff Ross.
Oh, I watched it.
He was on this MTV show.
Yeah, Are You the One?
Are You the One?
Yeah, we watched it.
I watched it.
I started watching it, and I loved it.
Yeah, it was hilarious.
Then I looked at it, and I was like, but something feels old about this.
Yeah.
It feels like, then I looked at it, and I was like, oh, this was 2000, and I was like-
Six, I think.
Damn it, Netflix.
Yeah, it got me, too.
It got me.
I watched it.
Then you look at it, and you look on MTV, and you go, oh, there's six seasons of this! Yeah, it got me, too. It got me. Then you look on MTV and you go,
oh, there's six seasons of this.
Yeah, these people are all dead.
Or they're trying to be comics.
I did that same exact thing.
But you know what?
Now I've decided at night I'm not starting new shows.
I don't want to do it anymore because I did it.
And now stuff is open. So hopefully, I got a drink the other day. I went out starting new shows. I don't want to do it anymore because I did it. And now stuff is open, so hopefully...
I got a drink the other day.
I went out to the...
I haven't been to a restaurant yet.
I'm trying to go get something to eat.
Let's go.
Yeah, we should do that.
I went to the restaurant by the house.
Dude, you can tell people have missed being out.
I'm telling you, people were partying.
We went to go have just a little bit something to eat,
and you're sitting outside in a parking lot, basically,
and this table was so fucked up.
It was like 12 people just drinking like the world was over.
This woman gets up, and she's got like a chalice of beer,
and these two women are walking with her, and they're walking.
I thought they were going to have a cigarette around the corner,
but they're apparently walking this woman to her car.
I'm not kidding.
She falls.
I don't see this.
She falls. The one woman see this. She falls.
The one woman comes running back
and gets one of the guys
and is like,
Barbara fell.
He's like,
Barb fell?
And I wanted to turn and be like,
yeah, that bitch fell.
She was fucked.
She couldn't even stand up
and they were taking her to her car.
People are ready to go get fucking wild.
I hope because of this,
people being so anxious to get back out
that when the world opens up,
it's going to be party time, man.
I hope all like-
We got to go to comedy club. Yeah, no, all that shit. I hope when the world opens up, it's going to be party time, man. We've got to go to comedy clubs!
Yeah, no, all that shit. I hope all that stuff opens
up, man. The first thing I want to
do, I'm such a nerd, the first thing I want to do
when everything's bad, I want to go bowling bad. I miss bowling.
I want to do karaoke. Yeah!
Go get lit up and do karaoke in Koreatown.
I don't even get drunk and I like going karaoke.
Yeah, but you like watching me get drunk. That's fine. I'll get drunk
in the room, do karaoke with you.
Yeah, I want to go to those seedy little fun
dive bar, shitty,
weird restaurants. I miss all of that
stuff. I hope it's going to happen soon, man.
I don't know if you ever watched Bill Maher's show. You ever watched
Bill Maher? You ever watched Bill Maher? No, ever since he said the
N-word, I just can't watch it anymore. You're the second...
It's funny you say that because you're the
second white guy to say that to me, and I was just like,
shut up. No, no, you know I like that. I don't know. You know I like
the N-word. That just was dumb. I would say it if i could no he i don't watch i don't
watch it because sometimes um sometimes he annoys the shit out of me and i just i i get that sometimes
he's so annoying where i'm like oh god like it's just oh it's it's the way that people talk about
fox news you know people like oh fox news Bill Maher's the same to me sometimes
when I'm like...
Oh, but I know what you're saying.
To me, they're all the same.
Yeah.
To me, they're all the same.
It's like Rachel Maddow
and like Sean Hannity.
They're not different.
Or Sean Hannity and Bill Maher.
Don Lemon.
They're all the same.
They all like,
they don't realize
that they're exactly the same.
They're just speaking
on the other side,
but they're talking and doing it
and the pretentiousness
and the arrogance
and all that stuff.
But what happened to Bill on Walmart that you watched?
Well, they had these
two, a couple that were scientists,
a scientific couple, and they were
like evolutionary
virus studying
and they were talking about the, you know,
and it freaked me out a little bit
just how they were talking about this
and how it's been politicized
and, you know, basically alluding that how like it's been politicized and you know
basically alluding that like you know when trump called it the china virus you know he probably
shouldn't have said it like that but he wasn't wrong i don't care who you are it made everyone
laugh you could say it's insensitive and be like oh it's racial but when he said it i was like
but he shouldn't have said it like that he shouldn't have been but it's like now that you
know it's like very like the scientific world is very much like this was made in a lab.
It was.
Even if their intention was to study viruses, but it was made in a lab, and it got out.
Now, the question is, did it get out on purpose?
Did it get out because somebody was being an idiot?
Right.
But it's like how usually viruses, when they mutate, they get weaker because the virus
wants to live.
But for some reason, this one generated in a lab seems to be getting worse.
And they made you feel like, well, what's going on?
And they were very much like, look, people don't got the right information.
And it's a year later.
Now people are talking about this China lab stuff.
Now people are saying it without – they can say it without being demonized.
Right, right.
Trump-ized. Trump-ized, yeah. Yeah, like it's just – it's like, yeah, they can say it without being demonized. Right, right. Trump-ized.
Yeah, like, it's just, you know, it's like,
yeah, maybe you didn't like Trump.
Okay. But that don't mean he was
wrong all the time.
Yeah, that's why
everybody followed him on Twitter. It's like, you hated him
so much, you loved him too.
You know, it'd be like if somebody fell down
in front of Hitler and he was like, oh, come here,
let me help you up. They're like, don't touch her, Hitler!
You don't get to help people up.
People act like Hitler never was like,
oh, let me help you up.
Hitler was known to help people up.
That was his whole thing.
I'm just saying.
It's like, you know, it's like,
I get it, you don't like the guy.
I get it, he did a lot of deplorable things.
I get like, you know, but it was like,
he actually did a couple of things, you know, a couple of deplorable things. I get like, you know, but it was like he actually like, he actually did a couple
of things, you know, a couple of bills
and things that he passed. Yeah. Whatever his
intentions were, he actually did some
stuff. You go, oh, Trump did that?
The greatest irony. Like criminal reform.
He did a lot of criminal reform. He did a ton of it, yeah.
A lot of people got let out of prison
because of Trump. Right. His criminal
reform, his intentions, whatever
they may be, is fine.
Like I saw this guy actually on Van Jones.
Yeah, yeah.
He was talking about it.
He was saying like Trump's intentions might have been – no, he wasn't even saying Trump.
He was saying like when you got the left and the right – hit this other guy on there.
It's interesting how he said it.
Like the left might have it for whatever their intentions for doing something might be.
They want to, let's say, have criminal reform.
The right might be doing it because it saves money.
Let's let people out of jail for dumb stuff
because we're paying money to keep them in jail.
So let's get them out of jail.
So these two places are coming from different places
for the same result.
That's how the two sides can work together.
So what I'm saying is that's why, yeah, so maybe the dude result. Right. That's how the two sides can work together. Right. You know? So what I'm saying is, like, that's why, like, yeah, so maybe the dude had whatever intentions.
But anyway, I just, you hear, not to get into all, let's not even talk about it.
I'm just saying, whatever this, what's happening with COVID and the vaccines and all this stuff,
I hope we can get past it all and, like, stop making it political so we can, like, I just
want to get back to work.
I just want to be in a comedy club again where I can look out and see
faces looking at me. You know, because right now
we're going to have to already deal with,
you know, they're going to have to wear a mask
in a comedy club probably forever now.
I think people will be
wearing masks for a long time.
Yeah, but that's going to suck because now people can just heckle
like this. You ain't shit, Tachino!
Who said that? You ain't funny!
Yeah, well pull down your mask and say that you
know so it's gonna be we're gonna have to deal with that you know but i just i don't know man
every time i see like you know i look at concert footage and i just think like how beautiful it is
when you see an artist no matter who they are if you like them or not when you see them in concert
and you see all the people in that building just kind of like rocking out together
you know for this one person i just go damn i we need that oh bad we we need that like that's who
we are we're communal like yeah we are that's why we love that's why we love neighborhoods
communities that's why we have these little cliques you know what i mean we we're obsessed
with being in a thing with other people isolation is is a sick thing. Like, I watched that show.
Oh, God.
It's like, you had to survive.
I talked about it before,
but they had to survive out in the middle of nowhere.
Oh, there's a lot of those.
I know what you mean.
Yeah, yeah, but the prize is a million dollars
or whatever the name of the show.
But the one woman was like...
Alone and Afraid or something like that.
Yeah, no, I think it was just called Alone.
It was just called Alone.
Okay.
And she was like,
she's like, this is who I am. This is who I want to be. Away from people is where I want to be. I'm self was just called Alone. It was just called Alone. Okay. And she was like, she's like,
this is who I am.
This is who I want to be.
Away from people is where I want to be.
I'm self-sufficient, yada, yada, yada.
And I was like, yeah, good for you.
Also, mentally ill.
Like, to not want to be around any sort of form of life.
That's creepy to me.
Well, sometimes I think people want to remove themselves
from other people because they,
it reminds me like you know
rick glassman you know yeah you know rick's got his ocd and it's like it's very it's very
debilitating for him sometimes yeah yeah yeah you know but and rick i feel like he enjoys like
being like away from people not because he likes being alone but it's easier yeah but he likes still being in the real world of
you know i mean like i know but i feel like there's some people that they're not doing it for
you know because they're like i'm i can i like sometimes it's just like damn it's hard to be
around other people yeah it's hard to deal with other people and their nonsense it's hard to deal
with people that look at you a certain way and sometimes it's best just to be like, ah,
I'm just going to be like a, shut in
like that fat guy at seven. You know what I mean?
And a serial killer has to
come feed you SpaghettiOs
to get your fat
ass back in society.
But I'll tell you what, well, what's also kind of hard is
like now,
especially because I'm going out, we're going out
like a little bit more and there's stuff
happening. I'm running errands and all this stuff
and life is picking back up again.
And now I found
if somebody maybe recognizes me,
I can't be like...
I'm not allowed to be publicly annoyed with stuff anymore.
Now I'm like,
oh, I got to be careful. If I'm annoyed
and someone's like, hey, man, and I'm in a shitty mood
and I'm like, hey,
and they're like, well, you're a fucking dick.
But they don't know.
That goes right to like, you know, there's a Reddit.
But I thought about that the other day because some guy at CVS was.
But that's part of the social contract you sign when you become a celebrity.
When you go into the entertainment business.
I'm not a fucking celebrity.
It's just when they know when you're recognized.
No, no, no, dude.
You're a celebrity enough, OK?
You're a celebrity enough that when somebody recognizes
you, there is a responsibility
not to be a complete
dickhead. Yeah, no, you have to, yeah, even if
you're in a bad... Hard for both of us.
Even if you're in a bad mood, that's
the other thing, is like, you don't know what's going on in my
day that, like, sometimes you're just
having a bad day, and you just don't, I'm not being
a, you're not being an, like,
like... People have no boundaries. Yeah, no, and I think it's harder for, being you're not being an ant like um uh like uh you
have no boundaries yeah no well and i think it's harder for did you see this woman with lebron you
watch this whole thing oh i love it hilarious tweeted at her yeah he tweeted at her like uh
the courtside karen yeah courtside karen i died if you don't know i've no mask on yeah no no you
got her mask down acting up but you know when i, man, it's funny you bring this up. Because who are the worst hecklers at comedy clubs?
I mean.
You can say it.
You nervous?
You nervous?
White women.
Just women in general.
White women, for sure.
White women.
You know you're right.
Yeah.
Like white women at the top of the female list.
They're the tip top.
But they are the worst hecklers.
No boundaries.
Yeah, none.
No decorum.
Nope.
No, just, they do and say and act like just funky as hell.
And then when you clap back at them.
Woo!
Because they've started the shit.
Tears.
Tears.
Tears.
They cry.
And then the dude has to be like, it's fucked up, dude.
You piece of shit.
They're like, she yelled at me, though.
She started all this shit.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
So then you have to have this.
Oh, my God.
TMZ picked up that story.
You remember that thing where the lady tried to hit me?
She didn't hit me.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
And so TMZ picks it up.
Eric, we're running with the story that the heckler hit you.
And it's like, no, she didn't hit me.
It just looks like that from behind.
Right.
She didn't hit you, though.
She didn't hit me.
She was acting up, OK?
Acting up.
I was going in, OK?
By the way, all of these women that yell at clubs and start shit are always blacked out drunk always
it's never been some sober couple having a good time it's not someone having a drink or two it's
always some chick who's blacked out who probably doesn't even remember it far they go way too far
they say all this stuff they get see i don't i. I don't think it's always blacked out.
Oh, I think it's always drunk.
To me, I always make fun of them because I'll be like, oh, I get it.
You're dressed up.
You're beautiful.
You're probably one of the prettiest chicks in this room right now.
But everyone's looking at the weird guy.
Right.
So you need some attention right now.
Yeah.
So let me hit you with some attention right now.
That's what happened on the girl on the court side.
She just wanted attention.
By the way, she put up a video, and I clicked on it to look at who she was and all the stuff.
And she's like, he was talking shit to my husband, da-da-da.
And they look like, you know, the typical Miami.
I know it's not Miami, but they look like this Miami.
He's like an older dude, silver fox, spends money on shit that he thinks is going to make him feel young again.
And she. Her. again. And she...
Her.
Yeah.
And her.
It.
Yeah.
And she, by the way, she at some point says her age.
And I looked at this woman.
This is my biggest gripe with young rich people.
She was 25.
Dude, this bitch looks 40.
And not because I'm trying to make fun of her.
It's because when they get so much shit done to their fucking face...
Yeah, she did look... They look 40. 45 shit done to their fucking face, they look 45.
You're like, bitch, you're 25.
You know what's funny, though?
That's funny is like, you know, it's funny how LeBron.
But by the way, let me say this.
Go ahead.
But the thing that pissed me off the most was,
going back to how we started this,
LeBron and all these other athletes,
they have to continually be reserved,
even though on a constant basis,
people are saying the dumbest shit.
If you've ever been to a live sporting event,
the amount of dumb shit this motherfucker,
I mean, the amount of shit getting hurled at them.
So for them to even just put up with it every single game,
it's a thing that they've signed mentally.
It's like, that's a part of this thing.
But once in a while, it's nice to see LeBon be like shut up bitch shut the fuck up you know what it's nice to see that
you know it's funny he said the way he's i saw this thing about him talking about it because he
goes he goes you know i don't know what happened with her but you know i was having a conversation
amongst men you know what i mean like he was saying it in a way that it was like it was like
yo because her husband was talking shit this is what i'm talking, he was saying it in a way that it was like, yo. Because her husband was talking shit.
That's what I'm talking about.
He was like, I was handling it.
Because what you want to happen is they're walking around a corner by themselves,
and they run into LeBron James.
Different story.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's my point right there.
Like, let's say they're just at Ralph's.
You know what I mean?
And they head into their car.
And they walk around the corner.
LeBron is looking at him.
I'll talk to you for a second.
Yeah.
Can we have a conversation?
Yeah.
Because I remember you sitting courtside acting like you own the team.
Right.
Can we have a talk now?
He's going to be like, uh.
You know what I mean?
That's the real problem right there.
It's like sometimes not enough people have gotten smacked in the face.
Yeah, no one gets...
No one gets...
Or just, you know, where you have
a big, strong black dude
like that put their hand on your shoulder like,
yo, I think you
should chill.
Because I could take you apart.
It could be a whole different situation.
Well, you need to go back to the Ron Artest days.
Adam and I, you know we were going to the Clipper games.
So we're playing, Russell Westbrook's playing.
Adam and I are going in.
You suck, Russell!
Dude, this dude turns, and he looks right at us.
You know how intense that dude is if you watch basketball.
I'm scared of him when I see him on TV
He looked at us in a way that Adam and I both went like this
Okay
And we was looking at each other
We're just playing man
One of the press guys said
What did y'all say to Russell
So I was thinking to myself
The gall
The balls on those people to think
That there's no fence They're to think that there's no fence.
They're on the floor.
There's no fence.
These are gladiators out there.
In Roman times, bitch, your ass wouldn't be like, hey.
You wouldn't be yelling at some dude fighting a lion because he might throw that sword at you.
You know what I mean?
You had to be separated because these people are – so I get what you're saying.
Guys like that, they always have to carry themselves in a certain way.
They don't get any credit for that, by the way.
Basketball players specifically.
Like football, the closest guy is not close at all.
They barely can hear people.
You know what I mean?
Also, though, you're not talking to a football player like that.
Of course not.
There's something associated with a violent sport that you feel like,
especially with CT.
Right.
You're not sitting in the front row of a football game
yelling at a football player as if,
because what if LeBron said, let's take it outside?
Yeah.
Or just gets out and swings.
He could have just walked over there. Right. He could have just smacked that dude in the face. What if LeBron went like this? take it outside? Yeah. Or just gets out and swings. He could have just walked over there.
Right.
He could have just smacked that dude in the face.
What if LeBron went like this?
I got enough money.
I've done it.
I'm 36.
Nike gave me a billion dollars.
I got a billion.
I got a company.
I can smack this bitch in the face.
Let me go smack.
No, no.
He don't smack her.
No, him.
I'm saying the dude.
He grabs the husband, and he just looks like, here's the husband.
He looks at the wife like this.
He just slowly beating him.
Just slowly beating him.
What were you saying?
Say that again.
Say that again.
Call me a bitch one more time.
She would just be like.
That's all you have to do.
It's like I've seen.
Dude, how many times have you seen?
I've seen fights break out at comedy shows.
Oh, God.
Because of women.
Chattering.
Chattering. Oh, yeah. And then the dude's got to step in and now there's a brawl oh yeah and i'm just like yo
i've seen the store so many times people don't want to it's not and it's so funny it's like
this isn't us trying to make a point about women no no exactly this is the truth is just put the
disclaimer out there yeah i know this ain't a sexist thing no no the truth is every time we're at shows comedy shows
and something like that happens to me i know you said it's always a drunk chick because if it's a
drunk dude usually the dude gets embarrassed enough that's exactly where he either shuts up
his buddies like shut the fuck up mark everybody gets or they get him out because he's too fucked
up like it's rare that it escalates
to a point of like emotions right where women in clubs will just let it emotionally ride they don't
they just don't care dudes kind of have this meter where they're like all their friends are shitting
on him and the security is eventually like dude get the fuck out you're gone this chick in kentucky
she goes too far it's crazy they finally get her outside because they had to call the police.
You know?
So I'm talking to the cop and she's over there.
Now she's crying.
They weren't picking up on me.
And I was like,
are you kidding me?
And I'm sure she talked first,
didn't she?
Oh my.
Of course.
She yells some shit out at you
and then you say something back.
Wouldn't stop.
Right.
Wouldn't stop.
You're not going to win.
I have a mic and it's amplified.
You're not going to beat me
in that battle. Right. It's just never going to happen. Why have a mic and it's amplified. You're not going to beat me in that battle.
It's just never going to happen.
Why did you say such mean stuff?
And then the cop says, do you want to press charges?
And I said to him, let's just pretend like I'm pressing charges.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
So I said, I'm going to flail my arms and pointed her like,
I'm talking about her right now.
And then I was like, I just, you know.
So I was like, yeah, she did now. You know? Yeah. And then I was like, I just, you know.
So I was like, yeah, she did this.
You know what I mean?
I'm going to arrest her.
And then I was just like, it don't matter.
Because then I become the punk.
Yeah, but you don't need to.
It's just not worth it. But, like, it's part of this culture that, like,
I hope when we return doesn't exist anymore.
It will.
It has to.
Shut up, dude.
What are you talking about?
Of course it doesn't exist.
I know.
It's still happening now.
Now it's going to be even worse.
People are getting heckled online.
Now it's going to be like, I was at a show last night,
and Andrew Santino said something to a female audience member.
Right.
But it's going to be like that now, where now you have to be on your P's and Q's.
Well, what I do, dude, what I always did before,
I avoided those people relentlessly.
When I was a young comic,
I used to take them on all the time.
Yeah, me too.
And honestly, dude,
in the past couple of years,
I don't hear or see you
to a point where it's almost maniacal.
Like, I can feel them being like,
what the fuck?
Like, I've skipped over what they've said three times
and I'll just keep going with my act
to the point where you
can feel them drain
into nothing. I talked to my therapist
about it back when I was going regularly
and I was like, I don't
know, I get so angry and I
thought part of it is because I'm doing
this thing, I'm doing my act, something I've
worked on and cultivated. Something I care
about. I've made you believe that I'm coming
up with this at the top of my
head, but no, this is scripted. I'm, I'm, you know, that's part of my performance. It's a credit to me
actually, you know what I'm saying? So I'm like trying, and then like, you're interrupting me
with some nonsense. And so I used to let that like, oh man, it would be a fire in my soul that
I'd be like, I, and I would be like, I remember I was in Texas early on. I'd say this girl, I was
like, you need to shut up or you're going to be outside crying.
Okay?
Just like that girl in Kentucky.
Okay.
Sure enough, and sure enough, she storms out after me telling her off.
And the security guard's like, bro, she was outside crying.
You know what I mean?
What have you said to her?
And then I started to realize, oh, then it becomes, then it's on me.
Then you're the bad guy.
Then I'm the bad guy. Then I'm the bad guy.
And I am the bad guy.
Right.
You know, because this is why.
This is why.
And this is me scolding myself right now about this.
We're like kung fu experts with our tongue, okay?
And I'm not talking about.
Just kidding.
But we're, so like, if I know kung fu and I'm at a bar,
and a drunk guy starts acting up, and I beat your ass, that's on me.
It's on you.
Because I'm trained.
I should know better.
Right.
It's the same thing verbally.
You're trained.
I'm going to destroy you.
It's not going to be hard.
I know you think you're funny.
You're not going to – because I'm a kamikaze about it.
I'll take us all down.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
You know, it's like,
you want to call me fat?
Okay, yeah, well,
this fat guy is about to,
you know, and I don't care.
I'm going to take it all in.
I'm like Eminem in 8 Mile.
I am from the ghetto.
I am, you know what I mean?
You're not going to beat me in this.
Right, right.
So I just, you know,
and I realized,
well, then you see this person
and they're crying
because of the words that you said.
They're crying because of like, this happened to me at Trippin' on Tuesday at the comedy store.
This chick, she's going in.
Tell them what Trippin' on Tuesday is.
See, you so racist that you just said, let them know about the black show that you did.
I'm kidding.
Trippin' on Tuesday is the black show.
It was, okay.
A historic show.
These two, three girls, they're sitting in the front row,
and they starting in, you know?
And I was like, I ain't having it today.
So then I just started, you know, I was like,
I just was saying all these things.
Then this one girl, she really is taking it personal.
She takes one step, and she's on the stage.
Oh, shit.
And she's standing next to me like this.
You know, I got the mic in my hand. I look, security's laughing. Yeah, on the stage. Oh, shit. And she's standing next to me like this. I got the mic in my hand.
I look.
Security is laughing.
Yeah, at the store.
Security is laughing.
But they had real security.
Yeah.
He's like, oh.
And I'm thinking to myself, please come get this.
What am I going to do?
What if she hits me?
Yeah.
What, am I hitting her?
Yeah, you hit her back.
You know what I mean?
And I'm still making jokes.
I'm trying to keep it like, you know?
Right.
And it was crazy.
It turns into a whole thing.
It's one of those moments where you go, oh, man, did you see Griffin?
People think it's funny.
But afterwards, the girl wouldn't leave.
She stayed.
She sat there with her friends.
In the front row.
In the front row until everyone left.
And I peeked through the window, and I saw her face.
And I knew it was like she was completely embarrassed
and completely like and I thought to myself oh I went too far yeah it wasn't worth that no it's not
I mean it's not worth because you're trained and you should have known that I should have known
you shouldn't used all your power I could have handled it in a way that I could have shut it down
and she would think it's funny and I think it funny, and we just let it go. But there's this thing that you get in touch with.
And so I'm trying to work on, like, let me calm down.
You know what I mean?
So more recently, I've tried not to be like that.
It's like, I don't know, man.
It's a skill.
It's a skill to let things roll off your shoulder.
Yeah, but I see people that do it, and I think it comes along with time.
I think the longer you do a thing, you're
a lot more apt to just learn
to let things go. Sometimes you just get in the mood.
I've seen, man, I've seen
Rogan. I've seen Rogan one
night at the comedy store. Just crack. Just
crack, you know? And I just, you
know, you just go, and a dude like that, cracking,
it's like, you know what I mean? I mean, that's what I want to see. I'm like,
do it! Yeah, yeah.
Go kill everybody. Is he going to kill this whole front row?
Just fights the whole audience.
That's what I want to see.
That's what I want to see.
It's like I said to him on his podcast one time,
that time I was on it.
I said, you know, I go, what's the practical use of jiu-jitsu?
And he says, well, if we were in a fight, I would kill you.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And I think to myself, does he mean that? You know what I mean? And I have to think to myself, does he mean that?
You know what I mean?
He does.
But anyway, he's like, he got a way about him.
So I go, even the most zen, weed-smoking, philosophical-type person, we snap,
especially if we're on stage every single night.
You're asking me to keep my cool for 365 days of the year.
So hard.
Because the one night I'm not is the only one they're going to remember.
It's the one they'll see.
It's the one they'll see, especially with just stupid internet right now.
I know.
Somebody's recording in the back, and I go,
check out Griffin calling this chick a cunt or whatever.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
It'll be like, oh, no.
Unless you're crazy, and then you get away with it. Unless you're like Brian Holtzman. He can just do it, and no unless you're somebody unless you're crazy and then you get away with it
unless you're like
Brian Holtzman
he can just do it
and no one says anything
if you're crazy enough
you're allowed to get away
with anything
that's the best part
you know
you're too human
that's your problem
that's
I have too much empathy
yeah that's your problem
I wish I was a soulless monster
sometimes
yeah if you were bat shit
it wouldn't matter
I'd probably be more famous
you know what I mean
that's gonna be
that's gonna be
in your book
if I was more of a soulless monster I would've been famous yeah complaining with Griffin bitching with Griffin You know what I mean? That's going to be in your book. Yeah, my book.
If I was more of a soulless monster, I would have been famous.
That's going to be called Complaining with Griffin.
Bitching with Griffin.
You know, it's like I remember one time at the comedy store,
and this is like a story about Jeff Scott.
I remember this.
There was a girl in the car.
She kept going.
She kept going.
Not even just with me.
She kept going.
And I said to her, you know, I'm like a parking meter, right?
A parking attendant right now.
And I'm like, I'm not trying to call you a cunt. I said this. I'm not trying to do that. But it's like a parking meter right a parking attendant right now and I'm like I'm like I'm not trying to
call you a cunt I said this I'm not trying to do that but it's like a parking person I'm telling
you you can't park here right you're gonna get a ticket you're gonna get a ticket you're gonna
get a ticket she kept going you can't park here you know and then she kept going I was like you
but the way I set it up the whole crowd loved it because it was like you know what I mean
and Jeff Scott came up to me afterwards he just loved it because it was like, you know what I mean?
And Jeff Scott came up to me afterwards.
He just loved it.
He just said, oh, I love the way you set it up with the parking.
And you told her.
She did it.
He was like on my side.
You know what I mean?
Bless him.
I didn't go to his thing.
They had a thing for him.
I did it online.
I don't like those kinds of things.
So I just, I didn't. I think I did my own thing for him on my web podcast.
But I just kind of like, I don't. I did my own thing for him on my web podcast but I just kind of like
I don't
I did it online
and then late
one night I drove
I wanted to get out of the house
sometimes I take drives at night
I just get out of the house
and we took a drive
down to the store
because I hadn't been
over near there
in a long time
and
it was just so weird
Hollywood looks so different now
half the stuff is gone
or shut down
but we just went back
and sat
and looked at the vigil
for I don't know like an hour or something like that it was weird it was
also weird seeing that building that i'm not in anymore it's like a second home it's like my it's
like my uh i have no relativity to this because i never had like a beach house or anything secondary
you know what i mean but like to me that was like a beach. That to me was like, that's my vacation house.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Whatever that means to people, when I would just drive by it on my nights off,
if I'm going to dinner, I'm always like, I live there.
That's my other.
So it's weird to drive by it now and see it.
I'm just prepared for whatever.
I'm prepared for the Shore family sold the place,
and it's now going to be a... I think about that all the time.
It's going to be a Soho house.
It'll be a...
Yeah, well, it'll probably be like...
It'll just get turned into a big coffee shop.
A fucking 9,000 square foot coffee shop.
They need to just turn it into a comedy museum anyway.
Yeah, then we'd actually make some money from that place.
They would charge them and then they'd give us some money.
I know, something like that.
All right, Griff, I love you Something like that. All right, Griff.
I love you.
Thank you.
Do me a favor.
You know, we end the episode
one word or one phrase.
You've got to look into the camera
when I get off.
Whatever you say
is going to end the episode,
so take us home.
Go ahead.
I have nothing.
In here,
we pour whisk, whisk, whisk,
whisk, whisk, whiskey.
You're that creature in the ginger beard.
Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Gingers are beautiful.
You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.
Gingers are hell no.
This whiskey is excellent.
Ginger. I like gingers.