Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Frankie Quinones
Episode Date: October 14, 2022Santino sits down with the Cholofit Creeper & Frankie Quinones to talk about his fitness routina, his new show This Fool on Hulu, Sexy Cholas in the neighborhood, & much much more! #frankiequinones #...andrewsantino #whiskeyginger #podcast COME SEE ME ON TOUR!!! https://www.andrewsantino.com ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast ============================================================================== SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! BETTER HELP Get the help you need from a licensed professional 10% off your first month https://betterhelp.com/whiskey BEARD CLUB Get 20% OFF your order with code: WHISKEY https://beardclub.com/whiskey RABBIT HOLE $5 OFF with Promo Code: WHISKEY https://rabbitholedistillery.com/drizly SQUARE SPACE Get that site up and running now! 10% off your order https://squarespace.com/whiskey Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show.
If this is your first time joining the show, welcome to the show.
We got a good one for you today, like my man Steve Harvey done say.
It's Frankie Quinones! I love this dude.
And Creeper makes an appearance.
Cholo Fit Creeper came on here, bro.
We had so much fun. I love this dude. Go see him live. He's great.
Also, big announcement, Boston.
New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve Eve, dude.
I'm playing the 30th and the 31st at the Wilba Theater.
Boston, get your tickets right now.
They're available.
AndrewSantino.com.
AndrewSantino.com.
Don't get them from anywhere else.
You guys are sometimes like, oh, I got them from this fifth-party site.
Don't do that.
Go to AndrewSantino.com.
Boston, if you're in the Boston area, come see me.
You can see me on New Year's Eve or New Year's Eve Eve.
If you already have plans, come see your boy, AndrewSantino.com.
Enough rambling from me.
Let's go to the episode.
In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.
You are that creature in the ginger beard.
Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Gingers are beautiful.
You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.
Gingers are hell no.
This whiskey is excellent.
Ginger.
I like gingers.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger.
My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth.
I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today.
It is the first time, and he's not even here yet, so we have a special guest.
It's Frankie Quinonez on the fucking episode.
But it's Creeper is here to fill in until he can get here.
Creeper, thank you so much for coming on the show.
Hey, no problem, homie.
Got to help out and everything.
I appreciate you, man.
So you're a Los Angeles-based personal trainer.
That's what you do?
Yeah, homie.
I'm a fitness instructor, eh?
Okay.
What's your background with fitness?
You know, I just stay pretty active, homie.
I was in a bad place, homie.
I was like, hey, fuck the world.
The world's against me. And I said, hey, Creeper, that's no way to live, homie. You know what I just stayed pretty active, homie. I was in a bad place, homie. I was like, hey, fuck the world. The world's against me.
And I said, hey, creeper, that's no way to live, homie.
You know what I mean?
So I said, you got to get your mentee right and your physical también.
So I started to work out.
And then folks started coming to me like, you know, like, hey, creeper, can I get a session?
Like, damn, trip out, you know?
Right.
So then I developed a cholo fit routine.
And then, you know, abracadabras or whatever, like, people started, hey, I'm into it. And I said, dang, you know, and so here we are, you know. Whatadabras or whatever like people started a I'm into it and I said dang, you know
And so here we are, you know, what do you charge for a session? What's a creeper session? It depends on me like
Last time okay. So like couple weeks ago. It was my it was my one of my younger Prima's
Her daughter. Well, so she's my pretty much to the
Quintanilla so we need a lot of things? So I did a session the other day for some,
this homie of mine has tables,
a lot of folding chairs and tables.
So, eh, that was rent-free, homie.
I gave him a, you know,
I didn't have to pay the rental fee for the tables.
Oh, shit, okay.
And I gave him a session.
So I'll barter, homie, you know what I mean?
That's what I'm saying.
Do you judge based on, like, can anybody come to you
or is it kind of you have to fit into a mold?
Nah, it's for everybody. Cholo fits for everybody homie yeah unless you like uh you're like a lame or you're negative or uh you're just annoying it's like hey homie then this is not for
you right because i don't want to kick it with you right now could i do you think if i wanted to come
to you to get cholo fit am i like am i yeah of course i could come on okay and as far as money
goes i'm kind of tight right now
so is there something
I could do in exchange
for some of the lessons
yeah homie
I mean
let me see
I mean
like introduce you
to some
bankers maybe
or
there's a couple of whites
that I know
that you might like
oh yeah
that's a good point homie
you could get me
into that
those uh
the white
uh
those social
environment
or the social pipelines
we call them
for you know
hey homie
so I can take
Cholo Fit to the next
get investors
or whatever homie
cause you know
about that stuff
that's kind of my thing
yeah I'm one of the whites
and I kind of am allowed
to move seamlessly
in different groups
cause I'm a
orange white
I'm a non-traditional white
is what they call me
yeah homie
you're like kind of exotic
yeah exactly
I was just thinking that homie
cause sometimes I'll get high notes that are like hey like I've never been with a Cholo or I've never been white is what they call me. Yeah, homie, you're like kind of exotic, eh? Yeah, exactly. I was just thinking that, homie, because sometimes
I'll get hyenas that are like,
eh, like I've never been
with a cholo,
or I've never been
with a fool like you
that's a fitness instructor,
and, you know,
I haven't even been
with a blonde hyena, homie.
Wait, seriously?
Yeah, and I've never
been with one, eh?
But you have now.
Exactly.
Like a little handful.
I don't want to brag, homie,
but it's a trip, eh?
Blonde hyenas are,
I didn't know this
but I guess they're known
to be curious
so they're like
hey you know
like what are you about
and what's under
those cut off sweats
and I said damn
yeah like
what's up
let's find out
you know
so yeah
so I think that
maybe you might have
that appeal
like on some bucket list
like you know
Highness might be into
like hey I've never been
with a ginger vato
you know
an orange ginger vato like you know what I kind of like that. An orange ginger vato,
like,
you know what I mean?
Right.
So it's like,
dang.
An orange,
yeah,
a little bit more flavor.
I look like I might be
a little bit more spicy
than some of the regular whites.
Exactly.
Because they're too vanilla
and I look like
a little bit of paprika.
I wouldn't consider you
a regular white
because it's like,
oh, dang.
And then you have the,
you know,
you have the beard
that's well-maintained
and it's red,
homie.
It's like,
what is this vato,
homie?
And you're fit,
too,
también.
Obviously,
you do, you're in shape, you know? And it's like What is this vato homie And you're fit too Obviously you do You're in shape
You know
And it's like
What do those
You know
What does a gingerful do
To work out
You know
Does he have a different rutina
Or is it the same
You know what I mean
It's like
I have a lot of questions
You know what I mean
But I'm intrigued
I don't want to get all
Use big words
But I'm intrigued homie
I like
Use as many big words
As you want in this room
What's the biggest word
Do you think you know What does that mean that means like when when when you
say something that sounds like what it is like when i go it's like oh it's onomatopoeia you know
oh right it's like a like that sounded it is what it sounded like like a you know it is what it sounds like yeah yeah it is what it sounds like like uh
exactly homie that's the onomatopoeia yeah tell me this how do you stand where do you stand on
uh latinx people try to infiltrate that in society latinx well you don't like it
to me homie i mean it's hard eh for me to accept I mean
I'm like if you wanna say that
if you wanna call gente
eh
Latinx
Latinx
or whatever
um
then do you homie
I'm not gonna be mad at you
for using that word
but don't get mad at me
for not saying Latinx
I say
Latinos
somos Latinos homie
you know
and
Latinx eh
like my dad
my
props to the OG mi padre homie he's, he was telling me a story the other day.
Homie goes, eh, mi homie, I saw this fitness thing on the Latinx channel.
And I go, Latinx channel?
And then it was a segment on the Latinx community, but this fool thought it was a channel.
And I'm like, it does sound like a channel. Like, oh, you got the Latinx channel? but this fool thought it was a channel. Oh. And I'm like, it does sound like a channel.
Like, oh,
you got the Latinx channel?
You know, like.
Yeah, it's premium.
He thought it was a channel
and I said, nah.
I go,
that's what they're saying
to encompass, like,
and my dad was just like,
what?
They threw him off.
And they go, homie,
if you,
they did surveys, homie,
like, not that many fools,
no, it's just gente
that's online
or in the industry
that is like,
no, it's over,
calling ourselves now.
But if you go out into the calles, homie, if you go up to a, you know, a manguero or whatever and say, hey, you know what Latinx is?
They're like, what?
Que es eso, homie?
Right, they don't know what that is.
You're trying to X me out?
No, homie.
Right, that's what it sounds like.
Yeah.
Latin X them right out of this society.
That's what they're trying to do.
Yeah, homie.
I'm sick of these whites that are trying to do this kind of stuff.
And that's what I, I don't want to say it out loud.
I said it. I know, but I'm glad you said it, homie.'m sick of these whites that are trying to do this kind of stuff and that's what I I don't want to say it out loud I said it
I know
but I'm glad you said it homie
thank you
because I feel like
in the background
it's a white fool back there
like hey you know what
nah you know
of course it's some white dude
it's a snaky little white dude
who's never met anybody
from your community
and he says
what's a good way
for me to sneak in
and judge other whites
that's what all they're doing
these are bad whites
we don't mess with bad whites man
nah nah we don't like bad whites the We don't mess with bad whites, man. No, no.
I don't like bad whites.
The good ones, the exotic ones.
Speaking of whites, egg whites.
Do you eat egg whites or do you put the yolk in?
I put the yema, homie, the yolk.
The yema.
That's the favorite.
That's the best part, homie.
That's what I like.
But see, as a fitness instructor, as a life coach,
someone who's into fitness,
what are the things that people should and shouldn't eat?
Can you give us some of that?
Yeah, I mean, my thing is, homieie everybody knows your own body you know what i mean
yeah for me i like to a if i did my my feet in my workout and then i like to get a lot of cardio in
you know i'll i'll run my five miles do you run you run like this yeah homie yeah because you get
a more female workout you work the triceratops right there if you keep your elbows up okay
boom and then and then you could even turn.
I'll even go to the side but go in that direction.
Boom.
That works the obliques.
Okay.
You know what I'm saying?
Obliques.
Yeah, yeah.
See?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Watch out what he does.
Come on, man.
He got a little accent, homie.
Okay.
That's what's up.
But yeah, homie,
if you get that in,
then I'll be like,
all right,
I'll have like a reward,
you know,
which is like I like donuts,
homie.
Donuts are good.
Donuts are good.
What are we talking? Sprinkles? And pan dulce, homie. Like a concha, you know, like is like I like donuts. Donuts are good. What are we talking, sprinkles?
Like a concha, you know, like
that little thing.
That's a reward.
So you do something good, you get a reward.
Exactly, but you can't just be right there.
You know, I have my energy tamales, which, you know,
they're tamales that are a mixture of
carnitas and peas too.
And to, you know, it helps with your muscle
recovery and everything, and it gives you a little energy, homie some folks be like oh hey energy tamales i didn't lose weight
but you can't just eat them and then do nothing homie right you know i mean it's like when you
drink an energy drink and then oh but i'm just right here to watch tv like hey but i'm focused
right now it's like no you need to go do something with your life yeah be active you know i mean so
that's that's my answer to that like however many calories or
however they say that you burn homie then a then you know then it's okay to have a donut here and
there but a i would say try to eat things that will will help you things to move a to make you
know to make you shit good okay yeah yeah because if the shit's moving then a then the universe is
moving and then i'm not that good at calculations but that's a good one homie it seems to equal itself out that's what i'm saying the more you put in
the more that comes out yeah get your fiber in there homie right so if you're shitting enough
you can kind of eat almost anything that you want exactly homie basically you know and i and i man
you know because i'm getting older now and this and that eh and sometimes when i work out too
much i'm drinking up water and all that then i I get a little, you know, you get stuck, homie.
Or like, you know, when you're not having good movements or whatever,
it's like it gets frustrating.
It's like, dang, you know.
You know, there's nothing worse, eh, than you look down at what you're creating
in that moment and you look down and it's two little pebbles.
Two little, yeah, two little pebbles.
Little rabbit pellets.
I hate that.
And it ruins your day, homie.
You know what I mean?
I get sad.
You got to drink prune juice
Like a vejito
Like you're an old person
And shout out to the vejitos out there
No disrespect
But you know
You don't drink prune juice like that homie
But I will if I have to
If I have to
And then you sit in there like
Ah dang
And you're pushing
And don't push
Don't push
Yeah that's
Don't push
That's the thing homie
No
They say that's bad
It is bad
But there was a
Yeah
You can prolapse your anus
Do you know what that is
Is that when Like when the weight lifters When they're dead lifting And their culo comes outside of their body It is bad. You can prolapse your anus. Do you know what that is?
Is that when the weightlifters, when they're deadlifting and their culo comes outside of their body?
Dang.
It's like, remember the snake you put your finger on when you were a kid?
You know, the little thing you get at CVS and stuff?
You put your finger on the snake and it wrapped around and all that stuff?
And then you pull it.
And you pull it.
And then that's kind of what your anus does.
It just falls right out.
You push too hard, you can fall it right out. And it takes pull it. And you pull it. And then that's kind of what your anus does. It just falls right out. You push too hard,
you can fall it right out.
And it takes a long time
to get it back in.
So be careful.
Don't push.
Do not push on the toilet.
Dang.
What if you had a homie
that was like,
hey, you want to see a trick?
And then he went like that
and then, oh.
And then you saw
it's all like rectal
kind of tight.
As long as he can get it
back in there.
Right? As long as he can suck it back in there right as long as he can
suck it right back in
if he got it back in
he's like alright
let's have a beer
tight
have a beer
that was crazy
alright I'll
pull that
that's a party trick
this rounds on me
what are your
qualifications creeper
like how do you
did you go to school
to
to teach
I mean like how do you
how did you get to this point
well
yeah homie
you know
I had a lot of time cause I was in a studio apartment.
The walls were coming in on me.
So I developed some, you know, some workout routines right there, homie.
It just really gave me time to focus, to think about it.
And, yeah, that was my thing right there, homie.
So you did it all yourself.
Nobody taught you at all?
Pretty much, homie.
You know, I had some homeboys around me that were into fitness, but they were doing
like the basic things and, you know, and all that.
Burpees, you know, burpees worked on me.
They're pretty female, you know, that's when you're, you know, because you have tight quarters
in there when you're in a studio apartment, like some of us have been, you know, you only
have this space to work with.
So you do the burpee and, you know, you do enough of those as a female workout on me,
but it was good to switch it up.
And then once I moved out of that studio apartment into the world,
I was able to use other tools.
When you say studio apartment, are you talking about a prison cell?
Something like that, homie, yeah.
I don't want to, you know, that's neither here nor there.
It's in the past.
I got it.
Yeah, yeah.
Can you talk about why you went away for a little while?
You know, I'd like to focus on right now.
On moving forward.
But it was nothing, you know, I didn't really hurt, I didn't hurt anybody homie. You know, I mean I just kind of you stole something
Yeah, you know this and that a car trying to get better, you know a couple things
Yeah, it was those things inside the car, too
Well, I have a report that we pulled up online you tell me if any of this stuff is true
Okay, tell me if any of it is true. Hey, boy people already do that research. Okay, so ready? Yeah
Stolen vehicle, yes or no?
That I have done?
Yeah.
I mean, it was a long time ago.
Okay.
It was a Buick LeSabre.
Does that ring a bell?
It was a blue Buick LeSabre.
Yeah.
Okay.
Three catalytic converters.
It was found on your property.
Three catalytic converters.
That's all they found.
Okay.
All right.
This is armed robbery of a local liquor store,
but the arms was not a—it was found that it wasn't a physical weapon.
It was a bike chain.
You used a bike chain to rob a liquor store?
Yeah.
You know, I'm not going to point a gun at somebody, homie. That's an innocent person. Right. But the bike chain, what would you have done with the bike chain to rob a liquor store? Yeah. You know, I'm not going to point a gun at somebody, homie.
That's an innocent person.
Right.
But the bike chain, what would you have done with the bike chain?
I mean, at the time, I was on narcotics, homie.
So I was showing that fool.
I was doing, like, somersaults and cartwheels, homie, with the bike chain and doing all that
peddle.
I get it.
It made it look like I was a trained martial physician or martial artist
on me.
Got it.
And I was doing
all that peddle
because I was on one.
I was smoking
broken windows.
You know,
the crystal meth.
And so,
it was,
you know.
Long time ago.
Yeah,
long time ago.
But I was showing
that about the woman
so he was like,
dang.
I didn't know
bike chains could do
like that.
This says public indecency
in Boyle Heights.
Were you naked
at one point
in Boyle Heights?
Dang, that was in there yeah there's a it's all here but is that not real I mean this because some of the stuff wasn't confirmed you could have been acquitted of some of this stuff but was the
public indecency well I was acquitted of that one homie but yeah I was uh but they do show up there
and I was at my primo's house in Pacoima I was running down the street right there. But yeah, I was naked right there.
Okay.
But it was a summer, homie.
Oh, it was the midsummer?
It was a summer, homie.
Oh, well, I could see why that would get a quit.
Yeah.
There's a couple of things on here that were expunged.
We had one of our research assistants back there
do a couple of, just a few more things
that we had found on here.
This one says,
I don't know if I'm a little
embarrassed to read this on the show, but, uh,
this one says,
kidnapping the elderly?
You stole an old person at one?
That was a bunk-ass charge, homie. Yeah?
That was a bunk-ass charge. It was my tia, eh?
Oh, oh, and so they thought you were
stealing her, because it says stolen from a, in protective care. No, and then when the hooda came, my tia, eh? Oh, oh, and so they thought you were stealing her because it says stolen from a protective care.
No, and then when the
hooda came,
my tia has Alzheimer's, huh?
Oh, wow.
And she's not with us anymore.
You know, bless her heart
or whatever.
Sorry.
But she had a good run, eh?
She was 103, eh,
when she passed, you know?
Oh, seriously?
Yeah.
Wow.
But when that happened,
you know, she was
about 89 or something.
How did she pass?
What did she pass from?
103 is quite young.
Yeah.
So, I don't know.
She went to sleep one night, homie.
And didn't wake up.
And she left some frijoles de olla on the pan.
They were burning.
And everybody got all mad.
Hey, what happened?
And then they went and she was asleep, eh?
Like forever.
Which is, you know, that means you died, eh?
I'm sorry about that.
And I apologize for that. I am sorry about that. And I apologize for that.
I am sorry about that.
No, no, she's cool, homie.
But when the Hura came,
when the police officers came,
you know, she was like,
oh, I don't know who this guy is.
And I'm like, hey, homie,
she has Alzheimer's and my tia,
you know?
Right.
But, you know,
there was white cops, eh?
So they're like,
put your hands behind your back.
And I don't want to say
the words that they said to me,
but it wasn't Latinx, homie.
They didn't call me that.
You know?
This stuff's got to stop.
Put hands behind my back.
Put me those bunk-ass charges when it was my tia, homie.
See, and this is why I do think that we...
But there is one more.
I'm not going to...
I don't want to embarrass you at all.
And I'm not going to...
Again, I don't judge you, man, because I really like you.
I think you're a great guy.
No, I don't.
You don't seem like a person I would be judging.
This does say 13 women were found in a residence at one time Again, I don't judge you, man, because I really like you. I think you're a great guy. No, I don't mean you. You don't seem like a person I would be judging.
This does say 13 women were found in a residence at one time,
and you were given the charge of, well, pimp is probably the proper term,
but the male term for madam, I guess, it's pimp.
It does say.
So were you organizing a bunch of women?
It was a self-help center, so I was already on my path.
I've always wanted to help people.
Uh-huh.
You know what I'm saying?
So you weren't a pimp at any point?
Because it did say half of the women were naked.
Okay, homie, because sometimes clothing blocks positive vibes from getting out, eh?
You know what I mean?
I get that.
Because it's like, eh, who told us to put that?
Just because that homie Adam and
Eva, they ate the apple. They were naked,
weren't they? Exactly, homie. And then they ate
the apple because the serpent and this and that
where you're talking about the serpent was like putting a school out
like that. Like, hey, you want to see a trick? And they were like,
hey, I'm going to eat this apple. And then next thing
you know, they're like, oh, we feel some
way about our bodies. We have to cover it up.
Next thing you know, corporations
and consumerism and capitalism, eh, you have to wear this to be cool and We have to cover it up. Next thing you know, corporations and consumerism
and capitalism,
hey, you have to wear this
to be cool
and you have to spend this money.
And so I say,
hey, you know what, child?
Everybody take their clothes off.
So they're not like,
oh, you're not wearing,
you know,
what are you wearing?
Kmart brand?
I got Target brand.
Oh, to get rid of materialism.
Exactly, homie.
Oh, I like that a lot.
And then to let your
positive vibes go out.
Right.
You know?
Okay.
Yeah, I would send them out there to be like, hey, if other fools want to experience your positive vibes, thenie. Oh, I like that a lot. And then to let your positive vibes go out. Right. You know? Okay. Yeah, I would send them out there to be like,
hey, if other fools want to experience your positive vibes,
then, you know, they should pay, homie.
I like this a lot.
See, this is the kind of positivity that needs to run through the world a little bit more.
And yeah, women and men out there,
if you don't feel like wearing clothes because your positivity is restricted,
take your clothes off.
Take it off, homie, yeah.
Take it off and let your positivity just push out into the world.
I love this.
I really do.
I'm going to slingshot a couple of artists your way.
You tell me if you like them or you don't like them.
Okay.
Pitbull.
I like that fool.
He's good,
huh?
Yeah.
Do you think he is Mr.
Worldwide?
In a,
in a lot of ways.
Yeah.
You know,
just because,
you know,
I have a familia or my, my, my Tia's, whatever, they go crazy. I have, you know, just because, you know, I have a familia or my tias, whatever, they go crazy.
You know, he gets the younger generations and the older ones, they go crazy for that fool.
You know what, homie?
I'm not going to lie.
I work out to some of that fool's music.
You do.
You know, because he comes out there, homie, boom, boom, like that, you know?
I do.
And he's like, hey, Mr. Worldwide, whatever, homie.
And he's like, ah, ah, you know?
Okay.
And he's in good shape, homie.
You know, I get down with that, Vato, because even thinking about him right now, look. Look, you're bouncing. I'm like, whatever, homie. And he's like, ah, ah, you know. And he's in good shape, homie. You know, I get down with that, Vato,
because even thinking about him right now,
look, I'm rocking like that.
I'm like, damn, homie, you know.
Okay.
So gracias por eso, Pitbull.
All right, Pitbull.
What about J-Lo?
J-Lo?
Is she from the block?
Yeah, you know, Jenny from the block.
Yeah.
No, no, she is.
I know, but, you know, I know she, I don't know what she went to.
Like, I know she's from the Bronx, homie.
She went to like a Catholic school in the Bronx, which is pretty female.
But yeah, you know, she's been famous for a long time, homie.
Right.
But fools were hating on her when she got the Selena.
I mean, the Selena thing is what popped her off, eh?
True.
So we can't forget that Mexicans are kind of what blew her up, you know?
And they were like
Mexicanos are hating
like oh she's not Mexican
da da da
but then they saw that booty
they saw that bitty bitty
boom boom
and they said
alright homie you know what
now that I think about it
yeah she could play Selena
and she did eh
she did
she was very good
she killed it homie
yeah she killed it
and then
and then Gigli
which was bad
that one was really really bad
she's oh that what's that latest one homie eh props to este vato what's his name Owen Wilson but Yeah, she killed it. And then Geely, which was bad. That one was really, really bad.
What's that latest one, homie?
Props to este vato.
What's his name?
Owen Wilson.
The one that went straight to Peacocks or whatever.
I mean, thank you, Peacocks, for all the opportunities.
But that one, it was like, hey.
Didn't work, did it?
Vatos are too old for that right now.
Sometimes you swing and you miss, you know?
Yeah.
All right, what about Bad Bunny?
Bad Bunny. Bad Bunny. Yeah, I've had the opportunity to meet that vato man and he was nice, eh? You liked him? Cool dude. Ah, he couldn't have been, he was real
nice to me and he was just thinking about musica. We were like having a conversation
and he was like, and I'm like, hey, what are you doing? He's like, oh, you know, he's working
on another song in his mind right there. That's pretty brilliant though. He had a little production
studio in his mind and He was like, dang.
You can't turn that off, can you?
Yeah.
Like, right now, you're probably thinking about fitness stuff, aren't you?
I'm thinking about fitness, homie, but I, yeah, exactly.
I'm doing push-ups right now, homie, in my mind.
I can actually see your head.
Stop for a second.
Yeah, see, I see your head doing push-ups.
Look at my ears, dog, see?
13, 14, 15, 16, 17.
They're working out right now.
What's the most amount of pushups you can do?
In straight in a row?
Yeah
I think the last time was 125, homie
125, no stopping
No stopping, homie
How far can you run?
I can run
Well, every day I run
Or, you know, like that
I do about 5.5 miles, eh?
That's really good
Every day it takes me 45 minutes wow that's
really good five and a half miles is good yeah it's not bad on me but the longest i've read some
in some like you know 10ks or i don't know the calculations of it but you know a lot of miles
or whatever 10k that's pretty far yeah would you ever do a marathon but i've never tried to do like
nah i'm not like hey homie i'm
not trying to be like hey break records and it's more for to get my mind right and where i want
like hey you know what i had enough hey because i do all that pedo and then like my you know i'm
getting older now homie i can't just be out there like that like oh yeah let me break let me time it
time it right i don't care about that homie like let me give a good one i get my little 45 minutes
in and then that's a good amount of cardio, homie.
That's already a little bit, you know.
Because then when I take it overboard,
and then I'm more hurting later,
putting the ointments,
y quien sabe la chingada,
todo eso, homie.
I'm like, hey, you know what?
What am I doing, eh?
I'm not training for it.
I'm not trying to be a Navy SEAL, homie.
I'm just trying to be right here.
We got one fan question.
Is one of our female fans
asked if you're single?
Because I guess a lot of the women
out there want to know
if you're available.
Yeah, homie.
Yeah, I'm single, homie,
but, you know,
yeah, you know,
I just got to be careful,
you know,
because there's a lot
of heinous,
not to be like,
hey, I'm Mr. Cool Guy
or, you know,
I'm real sexy
or, like,
but I get requested a lot
for a one-on-one session.
Oh, and you know
that's code for something else.
What is it? What is it code for i'm pretty sure sexual activity homie okay well it's consensual so what you but you don't
want to take them up on any of that huh i don't know i just have to be careful because you got
to separate work and pleasure you know what i'm saying homie yeah you don't want to you know drop
a couple pebbles where you work or which is shit where you work is that how they
say you you don't shit where you eat oh you're allowed to shit where you work usually okay i
mean you have probably have to if they're eight hours they know me yeah you know so you're kind
of born in offices you know yeah exactly so you don't shit where you eat on me you don't shit
where you eat yeah and i get that and you're getting paid you're getting paper where you what
what you're doing is a successful career so why step on that so creeper is available though you are in in the open market and do you want to
find love i do homie it's just like you know i need i need somebody to i need a special person
homie that can understand i understand i have my sessions a i'm really you know i'm passionate or
whatever homie about my my troll office sessions and then I'm all about
helping other people and everything and just bringing those positive
vibes.
I got a lot of love to give.
You know what I mean?
And so yeah,
I try not to just
hook up with my
clients, but yeah, I've hooked up
with some clients.
That makes sense. You can try as hard as you may
you still do
you need to eat
I mean I'm a man
I have a chorizo
how they say it
and sometimes that fool he's like
she wants to kick it why are you gonna deny her
those positive vibes and I'm like
they ain't got a point on me
alright let's go
they get crazy on me leave All right, let's go. And you want positivity
to come through.
They do get crazy.
They do get crazy.
They'll be like,
leave your headset on.
Leave your bandana.
I'll be like that
with my headset
and my bandana.
Hey, you know.
Sorry, I don't want to get
all like graphic
or whatever.
You can.
I'll be like,
and I'll leave my socks,
eh?
Yeah.
And my pantuflas.
And everything else goes off.
That's why I have
this hole right here, dog.
One time I was like trying to just grab me like that. she ripped my pants on me wow if i take them out like
that i'm running around the paddy like going like that i walk around her she's not like that
you know it's a party homie you're in high demand you know well i mean i'm grateful i'm grateful i'm great and i'm grateful that you came what
oh all right frankie's here um i appreciate your time on the show we did we do want to get frankie
in oh yeah yeah yeah yeah so so we'll uh one sec so we'll um let's let's end this piece with you
and we usually end the episode uh with one word or phrase. Frankie's going to get to do that for his.
But why don't you look in that camera and say one word or one phrase to end your portion of the show.
Whenever you're ready.
One word or a phrase.
Whatever you want.
You go ahead on that camera.
When you're ready.
Okay.
One word and one phrase?
One word or one phrase.
Or both.
You know what?
Totally up to you.
Whatever you want to do.
Let me see.
Whatever and birds of a feather.
Does that work?
That's great.
That's what's up.
In here, we pour whiskey.
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Welcome back to the show.
I appreciate Creeper for coming on the show and doing his thing.
We're now joined with our original guest that was supposed to be here from the beginning.
That was running very late, but that happens.
Frankie Quiones, thank you for coming to the show.
Thanks very much. Sorry I was late. No late no no you're not sorry man it's uh i texted you multiple times i said you're gonna
be late why don't you let me know and you said i'll do what i want to do bitch and uh that's how
that went so fuck it yeah yeah that's what i said i don't know i'm sorry i thought i was gonna play
the part and be like oh no no it was great dude thank you thank you for coming uh thank you for
for bringing some creepeper with you
because I think that was love.
Love Creeper, man.
Yeah, yeah.
So funny.
Love him too.
Good guy.
So look, I knew of you through the stand-up world.
You're a hilarious stand-up.
And I hit you up recently because I told you
how much I love the show.
Honestly, it's one of the funniest shows
I've seen in a long time.
If you guys have Hulu,
you have to go watch the show right now. If don't have hulu that's crazy because i think
they're just giving it away for free at this point so just go sign up for hulu yes you gotta
go gotta go watch the show it's you uh chris estrada um who else have i seen on the show
michael perioli yeah imperioli who incredibleopranos. It's such a good show.
I will say this.
My first thought was Sup Fool because of...
Oh, Felipe?
Felipe Esparza, right.
But you guys named it This Fool, and I was like...
It was called Punk Ass Bitch.
Oh, that was the original name?
Yeah, yeah, but then when it got picked up, they. Oh, that was the original name? Yeah, yeah.
But then when it got picked up, they were like,
yeah, we might want to change the name.
And the white executives came in and was like,
listen, Punk Ass Bitch is not what we need to be saying.
But you know, Disney owns Hulu, so I was like,
I don't know about that.
Trust me, we're on Hulu too now and we're Disney.
We're part of the mouse. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Well, it's FX.
So we're subject to it.
Yeah, they own everything.
The first season was really, really good, man.
Honestly, if you guys haven't seen what's going on right now, go see the show.
It's so funny.
You guys got a second one or no?
Who knows?
Yeah, it's looking good, man.
I mean, it's already being worked on, so yeah.
I got to tell you, I don't want to spoil anything for the show,
but the scene you have with your ex was, made me laugh so hard,
man.
It made me laugh so hard,
especially cause you're talking about the curvature,
man.
I just,
I died laughing.
I thought that was so fucking funny.
And are they letting you improv on the show a lot or are you guys sticking to scripts?
No,
no.
Yeah.
There's definitely a lot of improv and stuff like that.
So,
you know,
um,
all those guys have been homies for a long time.
So it was cool.
Like before the, the writing started out there, you know, all those guys have been homies for a long time. So it was cool. Like before the writing started, you know, it was already known that I was going to play the role of Luis.
So we just had a lot of fun with it.
And then it was easy for them to write towards it.
And then like they were kind of just throwing alley-oops.
And I was like, yeah, I was just able to kind of be myself and then like do it up.
And then, you know, Pat Bishop, Matt Engelbrunson. up and then you know pat bishop matt ingall brinson
and then uh you know they directed most of the episodes then diego velasco directed a couple but
they would always give me my my takes you know or let you do your thing yeah yeah like all right
frankie this one's for you all right you want to do another one all right cool then i'll just
fuck around that's what i love i mean we try to do that sometimes on dave but i mean we do we
improv i i i do a lot because i know at some point, if you don't get it your way,
they're going to have it whatever way that they have it.
So you're like, you just have to do it.
You know what I mean?
You're like, well, I have to say it.
Even if it doesn't end up in the cut.
We just had a couple of cuts the other day,
and I'm supposed to just wing out stuff just to try to get his attention
to get him off the phone.
And I was saying some wild shit, even though it's not going to make the cut,
but you're like, but it's so much fun because you're like I have to do this
you know like I was saying how like M. Night Shyamalan was uh you know he's not looking at
me he's on his phone I'm like are you listening to me and he's like mm-hmm I'm like M. Night
Shyamalan is is uh redoing Schindler's List and he's like uh-huh and I'm like yeah the twist is
that there's no Jews and he's like mm-hmmhuh. And I'm like, yeah, the twist is that there's no Jews.
And he's like, mm-hmm.
And I'm just going through all this bullshit
to try to see if he'll crack, you know?
If I was like, turns out, you know,
dogs give you cancer.
And he's like, uh-huh.
And he just has to stare at his phone.
And so I did five minutes of just saying bullshit.
And it's just like, that's when it's the most fun.
When it's not fun is when it's 15-hour days
and you're like, you got to do this shot, that shot, this shot, that shot. And then it gets tiring, right? It's hard. Oh, man, it's when it's the most fun. When it's not fun is when it's 15-hour days and you're like,
you got to do this shot, that shot, this shot, that shot.
And then it gets tiring, right?
It's hard. Oh, man, it's exhausting.
And then, you know, I had a, you know, Luis has a bunch of tattoos,
so you know how that is.
Get covered up, yeah.
Oh, dude, I got to go.
You know, some mornings my call time was like,
I think my earliest call time was 3.40.
I'm like, 3.40?
Yeah, just stay up.
Yeah, yeah, at that point you're like, damn, you to paint you they have to paint you every single day or no no it like for the
first for the first run of it just because they were like so they kept my call times early just
because they they're trying to get it down but once they got it you know get the groove of like
how the tattoos are gonna sit and right how much know, they needed to use and how my skin was going to react to it, all that shit.
So the first week was like, fuck, man.
It was just like 4 a.m. call times.
But after that, they're like, okay, now we got the hang of it.
We know how your skin is and all that shit.
And so, you know, most of my call times are 5, 5.30.
Was this your first series or no?
Have you been a regular on something else?
I was a regular on a show called My Roommate, My Friend.
Or it's a sketch group I'm in called The Dress Up Gang.
I know The Dress Up Gang.
Yeah, yeah.
So we had a show on TBS.
And I was a regular on that.
And so that was, but that was my first time being a regular on a show.
And then after that, I was just all cameos and doing.
Right.
But then this one was like.
That's huge, man.
I think it's great.
I think it's amazing, man.
Especially to be on a show
that's good
that's a hard thing man
sometimes you get on a show
and it's
yeah yeah
no bueno
I've done them
I've done a lot of bad shows
I like
I don't want to see anything
I've done some bad shows
but it happens man
but you're always
you're always on
you're always on something
you try to keep hitting man
you swing as hard as you can
oh man
but Dave's so good, dude.
Thanks, man.
I appreciate it.
I was pumped to see you on there.
But yeah, yeah.
But yeah, it's like you said.
I'm always grateful for any work because work is work,
and we're all trying to make it in this thing.
But when you're on something that's like, boom,
especially with this full, it's like, and it's so close to home.
It's my family.
It's everything.
It's how I grew up.
It's like, bam.
It was so just fun to do
and it was like super important
that it felt authentic,
you know,
because we see a lot of our shit on TV.
It's like,
oh, you almost had it.
You could tell like
there was some hands in there
that maybe didn't,
don't know what's up.
This one, it was like.
You don't have,
other than,
other than some of the whites
that you named
that are helping to put it together.
No whites in the writer's room, right?
There's some whites.
There's always going to be whites in the writer's room. Why? There's always going to be whites in the writer's room.
Why?
Kick them out, dude.
Kick out the whites, dude.
Have just all brown.
Have all brown in the writer's room.
We can't have that.
Then it will go to shit.
Oh, my gosh.
Glasses.
You can't have all brown, bro.
Come on.
Let's be real here.
No, but it is funny to think on that show.
It's so L.A.-centric,
so you're like, this is so, it's so direct,
it's so literal of what you're talking about, right?
Like, it's not, there's no other way that you could kind of tell that story
unless someone has lived that story.
That's what helped the most.
Like, you grew up, did Estrada grow up in L.A.?
South Central, I mean, so, you know,
the show's loosely based off his life.
Okay.
So, and then, you know, so it was super important to him that it was authentic.
But even the whites that were on set or the producers and writers, they did a really good job.
It was the first time I'd seen it, actually, where they're constantly checking in to be like,
hey, is this legit right here?
Is this legit?
Or how would you say this?
Or would you, like, that's legit?
You know, like,
you know, they were like,
concerned about it.
Yeah, yeah, so it was cool because all the other
experiences I had
were like, yeah, okay,
let's go and everything.
I just want to get the shot done
and keep moving.
When you guys want to talk shit
about some of the whites,
do you guys start speaking
Spanish to each other?
Yeah, it's so funny.
You got to hide
behind the whites
and let it, and then they're like, what are you guys talking about? And you're like, just the scene. Yeah, we say it, we's so funny. You got to hide behind the whites.
And then they're like, what are you guys talking about?
And you're like, just the scene.
We say it with like smiley. You're that asshole.
You're so dumb.
Yeah.
That's got to be so fucking funny.
That's so fun, man.
And then the girl, the young lady that plays his...
Oh, Michelle. His girl. Maggie. I don't even want to say what it is. Her that plays his... Oh, Michelle.
His girl.
Maggie.
I don't even want to say what it is.
Her name is Maggie.
Maggie, yeah.
She's great too.
Michelle Ortiz.
The show is fitted with a lot of really, really talented people.
So you can tell right away what's hard about TV nowadays is like sometimes they'll get
one or two people right and there's five other people on the show that you're like, I don't
know how they fit into the thing.
You know, like it just doesn't grab right or whatever but you guys really did it right and it's so funny because
i'm from chicago and i moved to la 20 years ago and like living within the culture a little bit
for a little while i mean that's my name cheeto that people call me yeah yeah it's because i used
to play in a fucking uh this pickup game with all these mexican dudes and they would they would call
me cheeto that's where that came from now you got orange leg hair dog. That's where that little bit I came from.
They're like, fucking Cheeto dust man, look at Cheeto legs, eh?
So that, that, like soaking up part of that culture was just so wild to me because as a kid,
you know, it was mostly black and white that I knew in Chicago. I knew some,
like I knew some, there wasn't't there was some Mexican or some you know
Dominicans or cute like some but not like it is out here obviously
Yeah, coming out here and seeing the culture of it and like watching it come to fruition on TV for you guys
It was great because I was like this is kind of the closest version
I had seen even as an outsider of being like this feels
As real and funny as it can be yeah you know what
i mean but that is part of that shit his life in terms of him trying to do start because there was
a there was a thing called homeboy industries here in los angeles where it's reformed gang
is that kind of what it's based on a little bit or no it's yeah i mean you know there's a lot of
like those there's a handful of those places homeboy industry is obviously the biggest one
yeah they're like super they're they're killing it to this day yeah it's a great it's a amazing place
yeah like i got a lot of friends there a lot of homies and and um you know they're just constantly
killing it father greg boyle you know that's right the father greg right he's the founder
that's right yeah and he was like yeah but you know just coming from you know the writers and
stuff like that it wasn't it's not based off like homeboy industries right you know, just coming from, you know, the writers and stuff like that, it wasn't, it's not based off, like, homeboy industries.
Right.
You know, I don't want to ruin, you know, the ending of the show.
I know, I don't want to say anything.
Don't say anything.
Yeah, yeah.
So, but it's, but like, you know, we went in there to, you know,
and Chris went into, to meet with those guys at Homeboy Industries and all that.
And, you know, touch base with them and, you know, just kind of made sure,
you know, it was like, hey, you know, just to show love and respect and all that stuff.
And then some of the, they're involved in some of the stuff.
Like when we launched the show, they put like these like merch packets together where, you know, they were contracted to like, you know, Homeboy, people from Homeboy Industries were delivering stuff.
Oh, that's dope.
Like, along with their stuff, they would, you know, if somebody wanted to order, like, a This Full or a Hugs Not Thugs mug or, like, a This Full mug.
Oh, that's great, dude.
It would get delivered by homeboy industries.
Oh, wow.
And Jamar Neighbors is on it, too, who I love.
Jamar is wild, man.
Jamar is one of those guys where he is a beautifully soft, sweet soul, but also could kill you because he's so fucking strong. Oh, dude, he is. He could rip soul but also could kill you
cause he's so fucking strong
could rip your torso
from your body
oh yeah
he's so jacked
when he
sometimes he comes to the store
and he just takes his shirt off
and I'm just like
this motherfucker is
the most cut dude
I've ever seen in my life
but he plays that character
on the show so well too
about like being in control
but also being like
a sweetheart man
so you grew up in LA we talked a little bit before the show you well, too, about being in control, but also being a sweetheart, man. So you grew up in L.A.
We talked a little bit before the show.
You grew up in L.A., and then Chris grew up South Central.
You grew up out.
You grew up out, right?
Yeah, I grew up.
Well, I grew up in Ventura County.
Well, I was born in San Fernando, lived here when I was little.
Valley boy.
This way.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And then we moved to Ventura County, which is like Oxnard.
Most of my family lives in Oxnard, Camarillo, Ventura, that area.
But there's like, it's mostly like, my memories are strawberry fields, homie, you know?
It's all strawberry fields out there, right?
Yeah.
And so, you know, my mom used to pick strawberries.
My dad would pack lemons on trains.
Like, it was like an agriculture thing, you know?
Well, because that's all that's up that way, right?
It's mostly, it's all like migrant workers and yeah and then because once you get
past there you're almost in middle california middle you know what do they call it like
bakersfield and all that shit and out that way oh you go east yeah yeah yeah central and all that
yeah but you know going past that you're starting to start to santa barbara and all yeah yeah but
but uh so what your parents both grew up. Well, you were growing up.
I mean, your parents are both working,
packing and working and stuff like that. Yeah, and then, you know,
but they started moving on up.
My dad learned how to be a carpenter.
Real chill dude.
But always had a lowrider.
Always Chuck Taylors, Dickies.
My dad was old school like that.
You know, still.
Where is he from?
Oxnard.
He's born and raised in Oxnard.
Born and raised, yeah.
We have family in the Valley,
but he was working out in the Valley a lot,
and then so they moved here,
and then that's when they had me.
Right.
You know, in San Fernando.
When did you start doing stand-up?
Oof.
2005.
Did you go to school?
Did you go to college?
Yeah, yeah.
San Francisco State.
You went to SF State.
Yup.
That's where I started doing comedy in San Francisco.
So that's why like a lot of the LA homies, they always thought like, like all the dude
from San Francisco.
But I was like, nah, homie, I'm from down here.
But that's where I started doing stand-ups.
It was like, but yeah, yeah.
I loved San Francisco.
That whole scene, it was a great place to hone the craft.
You know, you get a lot of stage time there and stuff like that.
I was going to say, there's a lot of, I mean, even before I even started going up there
to do shows, when I would go to visit, I would hear about a lot of comics
because I was always so interested before I even jumped in.
And there was a million places that people could get up out there.
I mean, it was so wild.
Oh, yeah, it was good.
Way more than down here.
You could be like a few months in, and you can get like seven, eight minutes,
ten minutes, and you're like, you know, here it's like.
Not down here.
Yeah, no.
You got to pay five bucks to get three minutes, homie. You pay five bucks to, eight minutes, 10 minutes. And you're like, you know, here it's not down here. Yeah. No,
what's not with my bucks to get three minutes on me.
You pay five bucks,
get three minutes.
You got to drive a half an hour to go get some,
to some shitty bar in orange County.
I did so many of those fucking things where I just drive for an hour and a half to do five minutes and then go home more sad and more broke than you were when you first fucking left.
Yeah.
Ah,
you got to pay your dues,
man.
But yeah, I remember,
oh man, doing some of those rooms,
driving all far, like you said, to some noisy-ass bar.
Some shitty-ass bar.
And they don't want you there.
There's a TV on.
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Ginger.
I like gingers.
Now you're touring, though, a little bit.
Are you on tour now or no?
Yeah, yeah.
You're on the road, man?
Yep.
Where have you been going to?
Are you selling?
You think you're selling more tickets now because of the show?
For sure.
That's so great, man.
For sure, homie.
It's fucking awesome.
And that's kind of how we're gauging, you know, how well the show's doing.
It's just like, just walking around town and people showing love and, you know, they'll
still call me Creeper, but they're like, Creeper, hey, love the new show, homie, you know, and
I'm like, aw, what's up?
That's great, man.
Now they know what I look like without the brocha, the banana, you know, like, you know
what Clark Kent looks like now, you know?
Well, you know, he has to reveal, man, at some point, right?
You have to come out of the phone booth, man.
Yeah, yeah.
That's so funny, though.
Now, do you still ever tour as Creeper
or only just as you?
No, no, yeah.
I do the characters, homie.
You do?
I do stand-up.
So my show is like,
I do four different characters
and then I do myself.
But I do like 20 minutes of myself. 20 minutes is Creeper to close. You know, and then I do four different characters, and then I do myself. I do like 20 minutes of myself.
20 minutes is Creeper to close.
And then I do Juanita, Carmelita, and Pachanga.
It was like this party guy because I used to dance Palafoclorico back in the day,
which is like Mexican folk dancing.
So I sell my boots with the nails in them.
No shit.
I'll go out there and do like this party guy, but use like legit moves.
I'll be like, hey, you know, yeah.
Wait, you used to do that years ago?
Yeah.
When did you stop doing it?
Dude, normally you stop like when you're like in high school or something,
but I just kept going, you know?
Why?
You loved it, bro.
I loved it.
You loved it.
At first I was like, oh, man, I don't know if I want to do this.
And then I stayed in it because I liked a girl in there.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
I was going to say, what is it, bro?
It's either money or a girl.
It's either like they were paying me to do it and I just enjoyed it
or it was like there was a female
I couldn't get out, man.
Did you ever get with her?
Yeah, yeah, we did.
It worked.
You know, it's a son.
I said, you know.
It worked out, see?
Click, click, click, click, click, click, click.
I was like, man,
I just do stupid shit with girls.
I mean, I guess we all did, but yeah.
I even went through my little
wannabe cholo stage
and I was like, it was,
I wanted to be down too
so I wouldn't fit on my cousin
but it was cause of a girl too
it was like a chola
I wanted to holler at
and then she wasn't
she would be like
this fool you know
I'm wearing like my
little bullshit ass shit
or whatever
and then
you know
and then I got my
my pair of dickies
on me and my white tee
and she was like
oh you know
it was working
and I was like
yeah what's up
you know like I'm down
and then yeah
then I got my ass beat And I was like, yeah, what's up? You know, like I'm down. And then, yeah, then I got my ass beat and I was like, nah, fuck.
I went back to cargo shorts and Bugle Boy jeans.
You know what I mean?
That is so funny, man, this stuff.
We'll look so stupid for a woman.
We just will do anything to like, because you want, you so badly want to show off.
And you don't know they don't want that.
But you think, I got to do something to impress them somehow.
So whatever I got to change, I'll, like, you know, go out of my way to look dumb.
Or do the thing that I think might be the thing that they would like.
They don't like that shit anyway.
You know what I mean?
Exactly.
A chola would scare me.
A chola fucking so sexy, but also, like, afraid she'd beat the shit out of me.
You know?
Oh, yeah.
They'll cut a motherfucker for sure.
Fuck you up.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's afraid. Yeah. But they're so sexy too, man. Yeah, yeah. It's shit out of me, you know? Oh, yeah. They'll cut a motherfucker for sure. Fuck you up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's afraid.
Yeah.
But they're so sexy too, man.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like exciting, you know?
Yeah, it is.
Right.
Am I going to get beat up today?
Yeah, yeah.
No, but that is, it is funny that we will stay in stuff just because you're, you know what I mean?
Just because for a girl.
I'm like picturing you with a chola right now
ay mira mi ginger
what's up
my little rojo
my little rojo boy
I'm like hey Maria
I should do you know what
tell those guys I should come do
the white
the white red headed dude that's dating one of the new cholas in the neighborhood I'll do that next guys I should come do the The white The white red-headed dude
That's dating
One of the new cholas
In the neighborhood
I'll do that next season
I'll come by and
Fuck with you guys
Hey boys
Who are you?
Here comes Cheeto legs
Here comes Cheeto
Be careful man
The craziest motherfucker in town
No but
But it is
It is funny
We'll do some like
Dumb lame shit for women your whole life.
Are you married or any of that shit?
No.
Single man.
No, I got a girl.
Oh, you do?
Yeah, I'm trying to fix it.
I got you.
I got you.
Put some drywall on this shit.
I got a girl.
She's the one for sure.
She's the one without a doubt, huh?
Yeah, for sure.
That's fucking great.
See, now you get on TV again.
The money is good.
Now you gotta, you're gonna lock it up.
Be a dad.
You wanna be a dad?
I don't know, homie, you know?
Yeah, who knows?
I'm 42 now.
It's like, I got my goddaughter, Frankie.
She's cool as hell.
42 is young.
Dude, I just read this thing about some actress,
some super famous actress is like 48
she's having twins
who did I just read
oh yeah yeah
I heard something about that
I can't remember
and the father's like
old too
yeah he's like 50
or I wasn't old but
yeah no you can't
but to have kids though
no I can't remember
who it was
but she was like
um
mmm
man I want to
see now I'm like
famous actress
having twins
old ass
old ass actress.
48.
No, but look, it said, no, it's not going to, no, it's typing in the wrong.
No, it's coming out the wrong.
Hilary Swank.
There it is.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, dang.
48.
And she's having twins.
See what I'm saying?
That's crazy.
And this website, it just opened up.
You know the thing now, every time you open up a website and it says like do you accept the cookies or whatever the fuck oh yeah yeah and
now it just said it said accept cookies and the thing above it said do not sell my data it's so
funny they're like telling you like we're selling your shit if you say yes we're gonna sell all
yeah yeah yeah this is the scariest future there is now i mean but that shit was already happening
but now they're like oh now we have to let you know but it's like that's what you were doing
this whole time. Yeah.
You want technology.
You're making a lot of money on it too.
That is the craziest shit.
Yeah, you are subject to the thing.
That's why when someone's like, why would you give them that kind of information?
It's like, dude, they have everything.
Like I did because we travel so much. I did clear and pre-check and all that bullshit.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I got all that shit.
And then people were like, wow, that's so stupid.
Why would you...
It's like,
you think they don't know anything?
Yeah.
What the fuck do you think
that they don't know?
Yeah.
If you got a phone,
if you ever have an email,
they got all your shit.
Yeah.
Do you have a driver's license?
They got you.
Yeah.
Like, now when you travel,
they got to make you...
They're trying to make everyone
get that thing, that real ID.
Do you know what that is?
Oh, I got it.
Oh, you already got it.
Yeah, I got the real ID,
TSA, pre-check.
Damn.
The real ID to me, I didn't like.
You had to go back in to go get it.
It's like a second driver's license, right?
Well, yeah.
I kind of, I was re-upping my license anyway.
And they give it to you.
Yeah.
See, that's my whole thing.
It's another piece of bullshit.
I'm like, why do I need it?
Can't you just have an electronic version of this bullshit now?
Exactly.
Scan my eyeballs, bro.
It's just a hustle.
Because, you know, you have to pay extra to make it a real ID.
Right, right, right, right. And it's like,
you know,
I was talking about calculations earlier.
I'm not that good at it,
but I'm pretty sure
it's a lot of money.
Only if you're telling everybody,
no, you need this to travel now.
It's like, oh, fuck.
I think about that sometimes.
I'll get in my head
whenever I go back,
whenever I go to New York
and you'll see
if you cross the bridge
and how much money it costs
for people to go
in and out of the city. And I'm always like, how many fucking people are doing, how much money it costs to like, you know For people to go in and out of the city and I'm always like how many fucking people are doing how much money they're making
Millions of dollars a day just like people going in and out of city
You don't even think about it because you're like I have to pay it. I don't have a choice
But it's like where's all that fucking money going?
Where the fuck is all this money? Like who's who is getting all this money?
Like whenever I think about that whenever I like I pay taxes or any of that bullshit
I'm always like who's making all this fucking money?
Where the fuck is this going?
Who's the dude that gets your money and goes, all right, I know what to do with this shit.
Yeah, yeah.
You know?
And they blow it and ruin it.
I know just the thing.
I know just the thing.
Looking at some property in Palm Springs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're buying houses on our ass.
That's the big hit, right?
Like, look, you know, not to talk too dirty about it, but, like, when you get a good TV show, you get a nice hit, right? Like, look, you know, not to talk too dirty about it,
but like,
when you get a good TV show,
you get a nice check, right?
And then you see what they take from you.
Because the first time I ever got a show...
Now it's like a whole different ballgame.
Now you're like,
I'll see like an article on a bill that's passing
and it's like...
And I'm like, oh, shit.
You become a Republican now overnight, right?
I'm not like that.
I'm still about one love.
But it's so funny though.
You're like, wait, why are they taking more money?
Exactly.
It just makes you pay attention a little bit more.
I was already paying attention.
The more you make, the more you pay more attention to it.
For the longest time, most comics, right?
You come from humble beginnings.
I moved out here with no money.
And for a long time, I was broke,
broke.
And,
not to say it was any harder
because I wasn't from here,
but like,
I wasn't,
there was no home for me here.
So it was tough.
Yeah.
I kind of was like,
had to figure it out.
I was able to couch surf
with like family.
See,
that's great.
I'm jealous of that,
man.
You know,
like,
I couch surf with friends
or we meet people,
but it was so tough
to be so broke for so long
that like,
when you get a little bit
of love in comedy,
especially comedians
You're like, holy shit. They're gonna pay me to do this thing. Yeah, you know, I mean, you're like, holy fuck
They're gonna pay me to be I remember the first time I got $20 into free drinks. I was like, here we go, baby
Spent it that night. I do I do it is kind of wild to think that like cuz then you get if you get a little bit
further along in the game
it is funny how your perspective shifts
of like,
I just got all this stuff,
man,
you're gonna take it,
they're gonna grab it from me.
Dude.
It is kind of wild.
And I'm like,
when I get hit with that tax bill
or you see how much taxes
they take,
you're like,
what the,
you can't factor in
the fucking last 15 years
I was broke as fuck.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't I get some leeway
from the old days?
35 years old sleeping
on my homie's couch,
you can't factor in that shit
when I'm there crying myself
to sleep every night talking about, oh, I'm gonna make it in comedy one day. Like, come on, homie. Give me the leeway from the old days? I'm 35 years old sleeping on my homie's couch. You can't factor in that shit when I'm there crying myself to sleep every night
talking about,
oh, I'm going to make it
a comedy one day.
Like, come on, homie.
Give me the leeway.
Give me back taxes on that.
Nope.
That should be back taxes.
Did your parents,
when you told them
you wanted to do this shit,
were they all about it?
Oh, yeah.
They're the reason I did it.
They always had stand-up
on the house.
Like, dude,
so my dad was 16,
borrowed his sister's car and my mom was 14. They went on their first date. Right. Like, dude, date. So my dad was 16, borrowed his sister's car.
My mom was 14.
They went on their first date.
Right.
They're still fucking together.
One of their, they love old, they all have old school funk music.
They would go to that shit.
My sister's name is Tina Marie after Tina Marie.
No way.
They went to Rick James's funeral.
They're like about, it's like the religion.
Wow.
And then stand up.
And they were, they would always have it on in the house.
And when they were dating, they would go to the improv, the store, you know,
drink in the parking lot and have their two sodas for their two-drink minimum.
And, man, they would tell me.
They got stories, man.
So when did your dad have you?
At 16 or 17?
How old was your dad when he had you?
No, no, no.
My dad was, I think my dad was like 20, 21.
And then my mom was probably like 17, 18.
Yeah, yeah.
But your parents are still young.
I mean, that's wild, man.
Yeah, yeah.
That's great.
It's crazy.
Now we're just like homies.
Your friends.
Because I'm 42, and my mom's like,
we're closer in age now as you get older.
It is funny how much closer you become as you get older.
So what was the stand-up that was around when you were a kid?
Like, what did they like the most?
Oh, man.
I mean, it was funny.
Even when I was a kid, they would let me watch Eddie Murphy.
Hell, yeah.
Richard Pryor, George Carlin.
Paul Rodriguez was the first dude I saw that looked like me on there.
You know, my mom really loved Louis Anderson.
Was Lopez big in the house?
Yeah, when he came.
But I was already already you know when when
when george popped it was i was in uh i was living in san francisco at the time already you know
because he was that's when he dropped the why you crying special i already knew who he was kind of
because i was already kind of following stand up but when he dropped that why you crying special
gosh damn homie i remember just i was jumping up and down by myself in the living room just like
because because it's just funny to say that like and down by myself in the living room, just like,
fuck!
Because it's just funny to say that,
like prior to him,
like there wasn't a lot of like,
you know,
Freddie Prinze was way ahead of our time,
you know?
I mean,
he died in like the 70s,
did he kill himself?
70s or 80s?
Maybe it was the 80s?
I think it was late 70s or late 80s. And then a lot of,
there was a big gap for commercial,
like any sort of Latin comedian at all until, late 70s early 80s and then a lot there was a big gap for commercial like
any sort of
Latin comedian
at all
until
yeah
you know really
until the 90s
started to like
pop around
and then guys
would come through
and then
yeah P-Rod
Paul's
P-Rod's dad
Paul Rodriguez
like
he kind of
became
the biggest of that
of that fucking crew
oh for sure man
and then since it's all it's been
you know obviously there's way more but it is so funny because that's there wasn't a ton of them
for you to say that that was the first person you saw look like you on tv that is kind of strange
huh because before that you didn't see any of that shit ever no it was like there was no
representation of it whatsoever it is weird though there wasn't in comedy especially but now i mean
it's a different world you know and you guys are the ones like i know this sounds really corny but it's like it's great to see like you know this fool is
cracks the mold for those things to continue for other comics to be like yo that's like me i look
like that yeah yeah yeah that's that's kind of what i think is so beautiful about it is that as
the business grows and changes and expands and puts on great stories with good creators then
you're like it does show a little, you know,
like a little fucking Mexican kid in LA
who wants to be a comedian is like,
oh shit, something looks like me on TV.
Yeah, yeah.
Instead of, you know, another fucking sitcom
of two guys, a girl and a pizza place
or whatever the fuck, whatever they call that shit.
Yeah.
You're late again, you know.
You're late again. You're late again, you know. You're late again.
You're late again, Marcy.
No, but it is kind of cool because it's, you know, like around my house, kind of the opposite.
Like my parents weren't into stand-up.
Comedy was kind of like my secret little dirty love.
Like I was embarrassed to tell them I wanted to do stand-up.
Oh, shit.
Because it was just, I just thought it was, I thought that they would be like, that's a fucking stupid that's fake get a real job right right yeah yeah so i was so
scared for years and then i've when i finally admitted them you know i could have easily told
them i wanted to act like that was more plausible for for them in their mind but when i finally
admitted they were like we know i was like oh you oh really they're like yeah we knew what the fuck you're always a you were a fucking little asshole goofball
i was just scared to say it you know what i mean yeah yeah it's hard man it's a weird thing even
today we talk to people about you know when somebody who doesn't know you and then you meet
someone you're like oh i do i'm a comedian and they're like oh you're a comedian yeah immediately
they make you feel less than because you're because our job for some reason seems fake.
Right, right, right.
Exactly.
And then all of a sudden you're on a hit TV show.
Oh, you're on TV.
Then they're like, I'm a comedian.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, oh, wow.
You're a real comedian.
Yeah.
On TV and everything.
Where can I see your stuff at?
It's on Hulu.
And they go, no, I don't know it.
I don't have Hulu.
I like when they go. Who has Hulu? I like when they go, you know, I've never seen your stuff at it's on Hulu and they go no I don't know it I don't have Hulu I like when they go
who has Hulu
I like when they go
you know I've never
seen your stuff
and you're like
okay
yeah yeah
you're like
cool man
I'm gonna be just fine
yeah what the fuck
what do you want me
to say
I've never seen
you know I've never
heard of your stuff
I've never even seen
any of your stuff
and then they name
when somebody who
doesn't know you
do comedy
and they name a comic
you know and they go
you know who I'd like
or they name a comic
who do they do
to you when they say like like I hear a lot know, and they go, you know who I'd like? Or they name a comic, who do they do to you?
When they say like,
like I hear a lot of times
someone will go,
oh, you're a stand-up, yeah?
And they'll go,
you know Sebastian?
Like people,
they fucking love Sebastian.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know Sebastian?
Oh, yeah, I know fucking Sebastian.
Like they do that to you
and they're like,
you know this guy?
You're like,
yeah, no, I know the guy.
I know who that is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah,
I get that all the time, man.
No, you like him?
You're like,
yeah, man. Yeah, yeah, we're cool. But there's nothing else to say. It's so strange. I know the guy I know who that is yeah yeah oh yeah yeah I get that all the time no you like him you're like yeah man
yeah yeah
we're cool
but there's nothing else to say
it's so strange
alright where are you going with this
you're like
what do you want me to fucking say
you want me to talk shit about him
I was like
what would you be looking for
to be like
I fucking hate that guy
no but
they do always want to like
that vibe always is what scared me
into admitting
that I wanted to do stand up
like did you know did you know you wanted to act?
Or was that kind of like a second came second?
So, stand-up was my first love.
And then, you know, in my stand-up, I storytelling do voices kind of already.
So, I was like, and then, you know, it led into the character work.
And then, you know, that stuff went viral.
And then it kind of led in there.
You know, I was already filming sketches on my own and stuff like that,
so I was kind of already developing that skill or whatever.
But yeah, yeah.
And I was able to take some acting classes, get an acting coach and stuff like that.
Not too intense, but just to help me kind of fine-tune it.
When you first did acting coaching, when you first did coaching,
were you bugged out by it a little bit? Like you first started doing it like oh when i got one yeah yeah
i felt weird it's weird as shit it's weird as shit having someone tell you how to how to say
stuff is weird but it was it was funny it was like um you know uh dave chappelle i asked him
one time like because i've had an opportunity where I'd be, like, in some green rooms, and it's only, like, a few people or whatever, and I asked him
one time, I was like, hey, man, which was stupid, like, it was a long time ago, so I
wouldn't ask him this stuff, but I was like, but, you know, he was being cool, and I was
just like, man, just like, if you had to drop just one advice, you know, to, like, to a
dude, like, or whatever, like, up-and-comer or whatever he's
like take acting classes you know is that what he said yeah it's the one that's what he said wow
and then there's no way he's ever taken a fucking acting have you seen this motherfucker act he's
no i'm kidding this dude is terrible no no but that was his thing he was like he was like that's
my piece of advice to you take acting classes he's like man you might not think you need them
but watch and i was like all right well because he of advice to you. Take acting classes. He was like, man, you might not think you need them, but watch.
And I was like, all right.
Well, because he went to like a school for the arts, I think, is where he went.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I can't remember the name of it, too.
I just watched a little.
He did like a little piece about it.
Oh, the anti-trans school for the arts, I think is what it was called.
The anti- That was it.
Prestigious.
We're going to teach you about a lack of tolerance.
Oh, fuck, man.
No, he's fucking Chappelle.
Great dude.
No, but honestly, I get that.
I mean, that's a good piece of advice, too,
because you can't tell a comedian...
There's no advice to give to a comic.
Yeah, and with that being said, I wasn't...
I mean, even with the acting class and the acting coach, it was probably like six months worth of the you know i'm not like still actively you're
like i gotta get out of this fucking shit yeah it's just you know i gotta go bro i gotta get
the fuck as a comic it's hard to not make fun of that stuff whenever you get involved yeah
i had to like apologize for laughing i would be like like i'll be like because it was it's funny
you know you have to do all that shit. My mother, man.
All that shit.
It's so hard to not be like, this is so dumb, dude.
I got to leave.
Look, but it is good.
It is like, it's healthy for you.
How do your parents feel now?
Sorry.
No, they're stoked.
They're good.
But they're not connected to this world whatsoever, right?
Like, they live in Chicago.
LA is like a fantasy town. It's fake.'s not real it's it's weird to them it's like they can't believe i'm
still out here but they're stoked for me but also you know they're not connected to it right like
like just because we're not from here like this is it's kind of wild like they're happy for me they're proud but there still is like a uh
that's crazy that you do that you know like it's still kind of fucking nuts and it is it is nuts
yeah but i mean do anybody make it in this game it's nuts but it is also weird because they don't
you know it's it's so different from their lives like they live my parents you know my old man's
retired now my mom's about to be retired.
And they work jobs
their whole fucking lives.
And regular ass jobs.
And so this is weird.
I don't come,
you know,
you meet a lot of people
in this industry,
they all came from,
their mother was an actor
or their dad was a producer
or, you know,
like my uncle's a director.
We came from a bunch
of fucking firefighters,
cops,
and sales people
or, you know what I mean?
Blue collars, fuck. Yeah, it's just kind of, you know what I mean? Blue collar as fuck.
Yeah,
it's just kind of,
we came from,
so this is weird
as fuck.
It's weird.
They're proud,
but it's weird as fuck.
There's no doubt.
They'll always have
those comments
where they're like,
we didn't really like
that one that much.
You know,
whatever.
It's like,
okay,
I don't,
I get it,
but they're like,
no,
no,
you did good,
but I didn't like the,
you know, like I did this fucking Kevin Hart movie
and my parents were like
you were funny
we did not like the movie
at all
and I was like
thanks
I was like I get it
it's all good
but that's kind of the vibe
that they have
you know what I mean
yeah yeah
I mean your parents
are proud as fuck huh
oh yeah they're pumped
I mean there was definitely
like you know
because it's a marathon
you know making it so it was like there was definitely a while where they were like, come on, man
like you got to get a real job or like
Like, you know, we're not saying like give up your dreams, but come on, but they were they were like they were saying give up
You're fucking dream. Yeah, I mean were they help me
It's a narrow road to it is there's a lot of people trying to make it in this shit, you know
but I was like
Like it if there's anybody that's gonna believe in you make it in this shit, you know? But I was like, if there's anybody that's going to believe in you, it's got to be you, you know?
That's it.
Even though I felt like a piece of shit, my self-esteem was at an all-time low when I'm in my 30s sleeping on my homie's couch, you know?
He was like, you know, he was charging me 200 bucks a month to sleep on his couch.
And I was like, all right, cool.
That's all I had to come up with.
Pay myself a bill, pay that 200 bucks, and I was doing stand-up, you know?
But it's like, fuck, man, I couldn't invite girls back.
I couldn't do none of that shit.
I was just like, all right, this is my life, you know?
But deep down, I always knew.
I was like, this is why you're here, you know?
Which it sounds cheesy.
No, it's not, man.
But I'm like, this is why the fuck
God put me on this fucking planet
or whatever you want to say,
because I never doubted that.
Even though I was insecure in a lot of other ways,
that was one thing I was like,
nah, homie, this is it. This is what you're here for i think that's fine that's the mentality you have
to have right like otherwise it just stops and it goes away you know what i mean like i'm sure you
started with a bunch of people that aren't around anymore i started with people that just don't do
it anymore it's just yeah yeah because sleeping on the couch for a while it's tough yeah did you
have a day job you have a shitty day job for a while too? Yeah, I was like, man, I worked at a hardware store.
And then I worked at a shipping and receiving job doing pallets and all that shit.
That's when I started doing stand-up.
And then I was, you know, busing tables.
And then when the whole, like, Postmates, food delivery, DoorDash thing started, I started doing that.
I had to get, like, my fucking whatever dui possession charge
like drop so i had to come up with money to pay the pay the pay the court fees to get my shit
expunged so i could deliver food such bullshit gosh damn homie it was just like when did you
get a dui how long ago a long time ah yeah yeah it was uh it's been about 10 years or something but
but you know after five years you can, like, get it expunged
if you haven't fucked around anymore, you know?
Which is such bullshit.
What a racket.
Yeah.
They're like, we'll erase it if you give us more money.
Dude.
And it was like, I had, like, fucking cocaine and ecstasy on me,
all this bullshit.
Were you on shit?
I was, but I was driving cool.
Officer, I'm cool dog i was like let me in the back room are you not cool officer are you not cool man dude the thing was is they pulled me over because
my homegirl behind me was tailgating me you know and so and uh so they knew it was something i
wasn't swerving Nothing I was cruising
Homie
You know what I mean
I'm like I got this
And then
And yeah
They pulled us over
And then
I did the whole pedal
You know
10, 9, 8, 7, 6
Z, Y, whatever
And
But then my pupils
Are dilated
That's how he knew
And then
They brought their little chart out
With the little black circles
And they're like
Nah look
And they were having
A moment between them
Like They're like You think And I'm like Dude no, look. And they were having a moment between them.
Like, they're like, you think?
And I'm like, dude, I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Only like da, da, da.
Did they make you blow?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sucks.
Once they got you there, it's over.
But I blew.
The thing was is I blew.
I wasn't, I wasn't, I only had like a couple cocktails.
I was like right at the limit.
And by the time they took my blood, because they had took my blood at the station because my pupils were were dilated i was below the limit so the dmv sent me my license right away they didn't
all they cared about was alcohol they're like oh no he wasn't drunk boom met my license in the mail
like that but they saw that but the all the ones i got the court case and they you know they're all
that shit they but uh those are expensive too would it clip you it's like 10 grand for all that
shit right or something like that but dude so i have a homie that I grew up with.
Bless his heart, homie.
He was like the one dude in the crew.
He was always wearing dickies, the white tendies with the black laces, that little gangster look.
Never saw him with a book.
That motherfucker was pulling like a 4.1, 4.2.
Really?
Went to UC Riverside.
Graduated in four years.
He's like, I don't want to get a job yet, homie.
I guess I'll go to grad school or law school or something. Goes to Loyola Law School. Graduated in four years He's like I don't want to get a job yet Homie I guess I'll go to Grad school
Or law school
Or something
Goes to Loyola Law School
Graduates in two years
Takes a bar exam
Passes it on his first try
This motherfucker's
23 years old
Licensed lawyer
Holy shit
Then nobody want to hire him
He looked like
You know
So he had to grow a beard
And all this shit
But anyways
So I got the lawyer homie
So he's just like
It's wild
Yeah he just like
He hooked me up He charges like, he hooked me up, dog.
He charges bread, but he hooked me up.
And they lied on the, he found all these lies on the police report.
Asked for the video.
They said I was swerving, broke the line.
They had no proof of that.
So he got like most of the charges dropped.
He got it dropped all the way down to a wet and reckless.
That's wild.
Yeah.
They dropped the fucking possession shit that's
awesome i also love the idea of having a having a homie like that who's like undercover a genius
you know like i guess i'll go to grad school like it's an inconvenience i guess i'll go get a law
degree real quick yeah ah my master's whatever man fucking snag one of those it's a trip man
that's great though though, man.
What a good person to have in your fucking pocket.
Oh, yeah, and he's just a fucking good dude, man.
So he's just a natural genius, this fucking guy.
Yeah, homie.
He's just on accident.
He's still always clowning, joking around.
Like, if you met him and, like, kicked it with him,
just, like, you would never even think, like...
Would you say he had tattoos up on his face or in his neck, you were saying?
Or no?
Oh, him? No, no, no.
When you say he grew out a beard, I thought you were saying he was covering up
oh no no no
it's just cause he looks so young
nobody wanted to hire him
they're like
what the fuck
you're gonna defend me in court
so he had to like
grow a beard
and be like
oh no
I'm gonna defend you
so now that you got it
now that you got that
off your record
and we talked
I don't know if you
you know
I don't know if you care
to talk about it
but no more sauce we're not having any sauce on the show because you're cleaning out the
sauce from your body huh yeah homie that's good man he's good it's good to take a break it's good
to take a long break a short break or forever break if you need it i've said on the show multiple
times i like to have a couple of drinks i have a lot of friends that are sober i would say i would
actually say the majority of my friends are sober now like the percentage wise
I'd say
over half
are sober now
and for various
different reasons
but you know
you got
you're
what did you say
how many days
you said you're
wow
37 days
37 is pretty good man
keep it cruising
it's getting easier
and easier
but yeah yeah
you know
doing what we do
it's like
that shit's in your face
we work in bars.
Comedy clubs and airports.
Yeah, man.
Want to make it a double for an extra $6?
You better believe I do.
Go get some more chicken wings for me, Marlene.
I know that feeling, especially when a flight gets delayed,
and you're like, what the fuck am I going to do?
Not drinking this airport?
That's like the Bert Kreischer theory.
He has to get lit up before he gets on an airplane.
He has to be drunk before he flies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I was never like that, but I did like to have a drink if he gets on an airplane. He has to be drunk before he flies. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which I was never like that,
but I did like to have a drink if it was on a long flight.
If I was going to New York, I always wanted to have a drink.
Oh, yeah.
If I'm doing the East Coast, homie,
I got to have a Xanax and a fucking shot.
Oh, you got to take a pill.
Are you afraid of flying, too?
I just get anxiety in long flights.
Short flights, I'm good.
But when I'm there a long time,
sometimes my mind will just go there
and i'm like fuck me fuck where am i gonna go right you know we're gonna we're where we're
gonna go yeah it would get like i would be embarrassed sometimes i remember one time i
was having like a fucking panic attack i was like fucking i'm like really hard i'm like trying to
hide it like i'm embarrassed and even the homie next to me he's like hey man you okay you know
like this older this older white gentleman.
One of mine.
One of ours.
One of your people.
One of ours, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And so he was...
Mr. Mexican Man,
are you okay, sir?
Excuse me, little Mexican Man.
Are you okay?
Ma'am, this brown person
is struggling.
Yeah.
This little Mexican Man
is having breathing problems.
No, but he was cool, man.
And, you know, he called the girl and they ordered, got me a drink, actually, you know, and that helped.
That does help.
Yeah, so now I'm like, fuck.
No more of that, dude.
Now you got to just focus on the brain.
Just let it sit.
I got this, you know, the doctor prescribed me like this non-narcotic fucking anti-anxiety thing.
What's it called?
Do you know what it is?
I never heard.
Propanenol or propofol.
Propanenol.
Propanenol.
Make cause side effects.
Your eyes may fall out of your skull.
Your dick might not work.
You might grow hair in places you don't want.
That's the commercial for that shit.
Yeah.
Propofol. Make cause diarrhea or shit. You might the commercial for that shit. Yeah. For pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro-pro- Um, now I'm free. I can have a normal life. The life I always wanted. I just want to have one interview with one dude that's like, listen, dude, I, it's been
bad.
Uh, the side effects fucked me up.
It helped a little bit, but also now at night I dream of the devil murdering my whole family.
So thanks.
Propa, profa, fall.
Like it was cool, man.
For about, you know, about the first three weeks.
But then, yeah, I haven't started these weird dreams and I got a finger coming out of the
back of my ear.
But other than that
I guess I'm okay
Other than that
I think it's cool
Yeah
But now
Now you gotta fucking deal with
Deal with traveling
Around the country
And just
Sit and not have a drink
And just go to sleep
I guess
That's the other thing
I do too
If I just get tired
Get tired
Yeah I've been
I've been eating a lot more
That's for sure
But
Yeah that's alright
that helps
it's aphrodisiac
you know
chicks love that shit
chicks love the little papusa
okay so
do you have dates
do you have dates
coming up for the end of the year
or no
yeah well
I don't know
this is gonna be out
for a while
next week
next Friday
okay I gotta go to Miami
this weekend
where are you next weekend
oh let me
see no my next date i'll be at the laugh factory in vegas uh october 21st and 22nd go see the boy
las vegas if you're out there go see my boy uh at the laugh factory how many shows you're doing a
lot of shows because they used to do like six or five or yeah i'm not doing the whole week yeah
yeah they used to do that i don't know i think i'm doing I'm just doing the two days I think it's two shows each night
Yeah, yeah
Is Vegas gonna get you?
No, you're gonna stay away
From all the danger?
Yeah, you know
Hey, homie
I'm riding this thing
As long as I can
Right now I'm getting up early
And getting shit done
So
That's great, bro
I gotta
There's a lot of my
A lot of deadlines
You know, that goes
Like on my plate right now
So I'm like
You know what?
Fuck it, homie
Let me just
Yeah
You roll dice?
Are you gonna play anything in Vegas?
Fuck it, man Homie I get all emotional When I gamble You know Even if Fuck it, homie. Let me just. You roll dice? Are you going to play anything in Vegas?
Fuck it, man, homie.
I get all emotional when I gamble.
Even if I lose like 500 bucks, which, you know, 500 bucks is a lot of money.
But, you know, 500 bucks is like.
It's not the end of the world.
It's definitely not the end of the world now, you know.
But still.
500 bucks. Losing it.
It's all good.
But still, 500 bucks is 500 bucks, homie.
Yeah, man.
And I'll dwell on that shit.
My mom always talks shit to me Cause my mom and dad
Love the slots
Like they go with me to Vegas
They're coming with me to Vegas
Are they?
Cause we cannot
We have our points
You know
We need to use them
You know my mom
And my dad
Yeah mijo
We need to go
I like the
The dancing drums mijo
Yeah I play that one
You know
And I'm like
Oh okay dad
Like that's what's up
You know
Do they stay
Are they staying in the same spot?
Where is the Where is the factory again? What hotel is it factory again what hotel uh the tropic yeah no they'll probably stay in a nicer hotel they they they're like they give them free rooms all that because
they do they go enough they about those slots on me yeah yeah no no they go like probably once every
couple months no that's that's that's a lot and they're going out there they're going out there
to see me this time and then they're going back because Earth, Wind & Fire
has a residency at the Venetian.
And they're going back again for that.
But you know, they get the free buffet,
they get the $500 slot play, like they are
in this shit. Yeah, they got the cards
and the platinum cards. And they'll stay up all fucking night.
That's huge.
I'm like, damn, how do y'all do that shit?
Like, even when
I was partying, I would be up all night, but I'm like, you know, I'm like, hey, this and that'all do that shit? Like, even when I was partying, I would be up all night,
but I'm like, you know, I'm like, hey, this and that,
and I would be going back to my hotel room like,
oh, fuck, time to shut it down with me.
Got to get some sleep, you know?
You got to get some sleep on me.
And then I looked, and my mom and dad are right there,
just still playing slots at 7 in the morning, you know?
You're a geek out of your mind.
You're just like, hey, man, I'm going to go take a run around
the outside of the casino.
They're just like, okay, mijo.
Well, go see
your boy
in Las Vegas if you're out there. Vegas,
please go see him. What's your website? You got a website
they can go buy tickets? Yeah, it's
frankiequinoz.com.
Go see him. I really
appreciate you coming by. He's got to go to a fancy
party.
He's a fancy motherfucker now, man.
They're not judging you now. This dude gets on TV.
He's living that life. Little Mexican
man in Malibu. Little Mexican
in Malibu, aren't you? Look at you, you little
sweet little Mexican man.
Go have fun. I appreciate
you. We end the episode the same way.
Creeper gave us a little love. You can look into that
camera and say one word
or one phrase that
you want to end the episode forever.
So whenever you're ready, go ahead.
Love.
Be about that shit, homie.
In here, we pour whiskey.
Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.
You're that creature in the ginger beard.
Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Gingers are beautiful.
You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.
Gingers are hell no.
This whiskey is excellent.
Ginger. I like gingers.