Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - History Hyenas - Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas

Episode Date: January 24, 2020

Santino sits down with the tutes your mother warned you about, Yanis Pappas “YANPAP” and Chris Destafano “CHRISSY D” as well as the LADDER 14 BOYS who saved everyone during 9/11 and then we get a guest appearance from DASIT changing our lives forever. These two guys might be the funniest combo punch in comedy right now. Listen to them every week on History Hyenas. JOIN OUR PATREON!!! https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast BUY SOME MERCH https://shop-andrew-santino.myshopify.com FOLLOW THE HYENAS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/history-hyenas-with-chris-distefano-and-yannis-pappas/id1352800687 FOLLOW CHRISSY: https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/?hl=en FOLLOW YAN PAP: https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/?hl=en FOLLOW CHEETO: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ FOLLOW CHEETO TWITTER: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino FOLLOW WHISKEY GINGER ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ FOLLOW WHISKEY GINGER ON TWITTER: https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ TICKETS AT http://www.andrewsantino.com/ STAND UP DATES JAN 24 MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA JAN 25 MADISON, WISCONSIN FEB 15-17 VANCOUVER, BC, CANADA FEB 22 BAKERSFIELD, CALIFORNIA FEB 28 DETROIT, MICHIGAN FEB 29 ATLANTA, GEORGIA MAR 6-7 PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA MAR 13 CHICAGO, ILLINOIS MAR 27 CINCINNATI, OHIO MAR 28 CLEVELAND, OHIO APR 10 PORTLAND, OREGON APR 11 SEATTLE, WASHINGTON APR 16-18 MIAMI, FLORIDA APR 19 WEST PALM, FLORIDA MAY 9 PHOENIX, ARIZONA JUN 5-7 SAN DIEGO, CA SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS OR WE’LL COME FIND YOU AND KILL YOU GET THE MERCARI APP AND SELL SELL SELL EVERYTHING YOU OWN AND THEN WRITE A BAD REVIEW FOR EBAY BECAUSE ITS A SACAM AND WE ALL KNOW IT. GET IT HERE: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/mercari-the-selling-app/id896130944 MAKE YOUR OWN WEBSITE AND TURN YOUR DREAM INTO AN INTERNET REALITY GO TO https://www.squarespace.com/whiskey USE PROMO “WHISKEY” TO GET A FREE TRIAL AND THEN SAVE 10% GET THE RELEIF YOU NEED FAST WITH OMAX CRYOGENIC FREEZE USING CBD FOR PAIN RELIEF, JOINT SUPPORT AND ITS ALL NATURAL UNLIKE COMPETITORS. GOT TO https://omaxhealth.com AND USE PROMO “WHISKEY” FOR 20% OFF!!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it for these two gentlemen, especially today. Two of the sexiest motherfucking toots on this side of the Mississippi.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is Yanis Papas and Chris DeStefano. How you doing? Yan Pop and Chrissy D. What's up, babe? Ladder 14's inside of my house. That's right. Absolutely.

You guys excited to be here? And we have to take our shoes off like Asian women. You had to take your little shoes off. Can I take my socks off or no? Leave your socks on. Look at you have red socks.

That looks so cute. Well, because I'm trying to, you know, it's a lot of things we're out in Los Angeles and I want to be like bling and pop. Right. at you have red socks That looks so cute Well because I'm trying to You know it's a lot of things We're out in Los Angeles I don't want to be like Bling and pop So Right

All black with red socks Have you ever noticed That his foot Put it to the side Is actually shaped like It's in a high heel Yeah Was that because

When you were a kid Yeah He used to put them on a lot Yeah Would you wear your mom's heels Around the house Absolutely Yeah there was a story

I was wearing my mom's heels The McCormick brothers Used to fuck with me And one time I was They made me dress was wearing my mom's heels. The McCormick brothers used to fuck with me. And one time I was, they made me dress up in my mother's high heels, butt naked, go downstairs in my mother's high heels with the Miami Dolphins football helmet on and go answer the door for the Chinese delivery guy. And then one of them pushed me out and I fell down the stairs outside onto the New York City public sidewalk and they locked the door. And I was out there on an August day for about an hour. And your mom's got big, she's got big feet. My mom's got big huge feet. What size feet. My mom's got big, huge feet.

What size are your feet? What? What size are your feet? I got 12. 12? What are you? I'm a 10. Giannis is a 10.

You know what that means? What? You live longer. Does that mean that? Yeah. Smaller feet means they live longer. Look at the Asians. Those motherfuckers live to be 1,000.

That's true. They have tiny little feet. Yeah, tiny little feet. You got big feet. You got a big foot. 12, 12 and a half. Yeah, it sucks. I'm going to die soon.

You and I are on the same path. I'm going to play footsies with both of you during this. Come here, man. Let's all put it in there. It's going to be a good podcast. You know that feels wrong. If this podcast doesn't end with a red pubic hair wrapped around my uvula like I'm fucking tying one off to shoot heroin, it's not a good podcast.

That's what it is. I saw the clip the last time he was here. You were telling him about how if you got a claret and D, you were going to suck his dick. You were. Something about you brings out the girl in him. I don't know because you're – we're each other's type. We probably would have had sex and you would have taped it. I would have taped it, yeah.

I'm more of a producer would be my role. I'd be setting you guys up. Okay, that was good. You'd be a director? Yeah, I'd be a director, yeah. What would you be – I thought about this the other day. I was thinking about what role would you

play in a porno? You know, like of all the character roles that you see in pornography, what role would you think you'd play? God, I think I'd be the girl in a lesbian scene.

You'd be the girl in a lesbian scene? Really? Is that your most, you think that'd be your most comfortable spot? I think that's my most comfortable spot.

I think that's truly who I am. I think I have a woman's brain. I do. I have a little bit of a woman's brain. Really?

Yeah. Why do you say that? I cry at movies. What movie? What was the last movie you cried at? All of them. What's the last movie I saw? Uncut Gems.

I cried. You did? Yeah, I cried. What part? At the end when he got shot in the face. Yeah. Yeah. Because I totally-

Spoiler. Yeah. If you haven't seen it, if you haven't seen it, Adam Sandler got shot in the face there. We fucked it for you. We fucked it up. Actually, that was a spoiler. Yeah, that's a spoiler. It doesn't really matter. No, you should have seen it, if you haven't seen it, Adam Sandler gets shot in the face there. We fucked it for you. You fucked it up. Actually, that was a spoiler. Yeah, that's a spoiler. It doesn't really matter.

No, you should have seen it by now. I feel like... You don't have to look at that anyway. You see it for what it feels like to do cocaine. That's what that movie is like. Did you like it? It was intense. I loved it,

but it was like 100 miles an hour from the beginning to the end. Did you like it? Uncut Gems, I really, really, really liked it. You did? I really liked it. I think Adam Sandler was great in it

that was Adam Sandler that was Adam Sandler that'd be so great some asshole has no fucking idea with the whole movie that was Adam that was Adam fucking Sandler you think he got snubbed

I want to talk to you guys because that's a whole thing now the getting the snub thing I read it online you know does any do you care I don't care

I don't care about any of it so who cares who gets snubbed it's not stupid it's like you know I just want to be on people's podcasts it's like what is your dumb award you're gonna do like adam sandler if you gotta pack us up beyond otherwise i don't care what i don't give a fuck nobody cares about the movies and tv nobody cares no one cares at all well here's the problem i think that we like i don't care i don't ever really seek an award that

kind of thing but i know what if they had podcast awards, like funniest podcast stuff? We'd want it. Yeah, see? That's my point is, so we all are able to poo-poo stuff until it's about us, and then we're like, okay, I want it. True, that's true. Humans are just bad.

We're just generally not good. We're pieces of shit. We're pieces of shit. And we need validation at any level. Anyone that says, you know, the famous actors that are like, oh, I don't care, I don't need it. It's like, secretly, everybody does want everything.

Like, look, the Ricky Gervais thing that got around to the golden globes i called burr and bill and i were talking about something else and then i just brought it up and man he let me fucking have it right because i was like oh it's so funny he was like yeah but you know it's just like it's an it's it's like that's what happens in hollywood all the time is they get shit on he's like it's not like a surprising thing to watch someone shit on celebrities. I was like, oh, that's really, that's true. Because he got a lot of,

he got a lot of praise. Everyone was like, this is incredible. I loved it too. But that's Bill's inside perspective. I think for the Oscars, what was it,

the Golden Globes, whatever the fuck it was. Yeah, the Golden Globes, it attracts an audience that otherwise wouldn't be tuning into that Hollywood shit. So it was good. He was sort of,

he had the platform and he did it. Yeah. Which I think was cathartic for a lot of people, like Hollywood shit. So it was good. He had the platform and he did it, which I think was cathartic for a lot of people, like ordinary people. Yeah, I agree. But the problem is he does it every year. That's the thing. I think that's what Bill was saying.

It's nothing new. You know when this whole like, what's he going to say? It's like, well, probably the same fucked up shit he said last year. It's just going to be more extreme. He's not going to do it next year. No, of course not.

But also he got what he wanted out of it. I saw him tweet online. He was like, thanks for the new 3 million followers. 3 million or some shit like that. He sold out. He just sold the quickest ticket sales. He sold like, it was like an older- Highest selling artist in the history of, and the most viewed Netflix special.

Yeah, yeah. I was like, wait, what? No? Really? Does that not surprise you? I feel like that was, for some reason I thought Chappelle had that number. No, because he's international. I think it's a little bit international if you go there. You think foreigners don't like black people? I think foreigners don't... For some reason, I thought Chappelle had that number. Because he's international. I think it's a little bit international.

You think foreigners don't like black people? I think foreigners don't like black people. You know they don't. I'm not going to say I think I know that. You know that. Yeah, I mean, they throw bananas on the field in soccer games.

They do do that. They do that. It's not right, but it does happen. And then they accuse us of being racist. Yeah. It's like when you go to their soccer games, you just see a whole section doing Nazi shit.

Yeah, yeah, they do Nazi shit. Yeah, right. Isn't that funny that... What section is that? Huh? What section is that? Nazi 104 to 108. Are the tickets always reasonable on that one?

Oh my God, they're so good. I'll go. They're so good. If a regular ticket is 105 bucks, that thing keeps tipping. I'm sorry about that. You know what? Put it to your side.

Put it to your right side. I'm teaching Chris how to move the mic to the side. Put it right. And this feels nicer. And I can stretch out my high-heeled feet. Yeah. I was talking to someone over the weekend. Put it right. And this feels nicer. And I can stretch out my high-heeled feet. Yeah. I was talking to someone over the weekend about that, that everybody says America's racist.

I was in Canada, right? And the perception of America is bullshit to me from Canadians, because all they do is talk shit, but in a time of need of literally anything, where would they fucking go to? Yeah, you need us. You need us, okay? And the US is always the one sending the troops. Yeah. And we're the one who, like, how racist are we, really? We elected a black president twice. Yeah, you need us. You need us, okay? And the U.S. is always the one sending the troops. Yeah. Yeah. And we're the one who, like, how racist are we, really?

We elected a black president twice. Yeah, two times. We've had a black Supreme Court of Justice, every high office. The mayor of Chicago is a black gay woman. I mean, there you go. What the fuck? We, bum, bum, bum. We did it.

Bum, bum, bum. That's a casino. Ring, ring, ring. All the coins come out. Yeah. It's like, if you have any discrimination it's in those three categories that's it

we knocked it out of the fucking park and she won and she won so I'm just saying I think like we get a lot of heat for being racist

you know why because we have a country filled with everybody go to fucking France ask how they feel about Spanish people be like oh you guys like Spain

see what they say and you're like oh we're racist they're the most fucking everyone else around the world is territorial and racist and it's allowed to be because their country isn't...

It's one culture. Yeah. Right? Go to Japan. Right. You can't even fucking rent an apartment there if you're not Japanese. You know how hard it is to buy property in Japan if you're not Japanese? Really?

It's almost impossible. I mean, I could see them not wanting to rent or sell to Americans because, I mean, we did some damage to the people. What did we do? We dropped the... We put... Okay, so you know you have a hot pocket? Yeah. You put it in the microwave? Yeah. That's what we did to the country. What do we do? We dropped a, we put, okay, so you know you have a Hot Pocket? Yeah.

You put it in the microwave? Yeah. That's what we did to the country. Oh, yeah. They dropped a bomb and then they heard Jim Gaffigan's voice go,

Hot Pocket. The crack was perfect. Hot Pocket. I've just been talking all day. By the way, Hot Pockets tweeted out the other day, they were like,

we need to work with new influencers. Anybody got any ideas? And someone tagged me for some reason. And I was like, this is Jim Gaffigan territory. They thought you were Jim Gaffigan? No, no, no. And they literally go, Hot Pockets tweeted me and goes,

no, it's not, or something like that. And I wrote, hey, Hot Pockets? Yeah. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. What are you talking about? He made you guys relevant again. 50 million people heard that bit.

It went around the internet a thousand times every day. Who eats Hot Pockets? If you're eating Hot Pockets, you're a piece of shit. Don't say that to your face. Lean Pockets. You know what's so funny? A fan right now is eating a Hot Pocket,

putting it down, sliding the plate away. I don't eat that shit. That's fucked up. Do you guys eat embarrassing stuff? What's your sad meal? He's going to have some good sweets ones Oh yeah well definitely sweets I like to eat I'm a kid

I'm Chrissy Tiramisu's I like Tiramisu a lot I'll eat two to three Tiramisu's In a sitting Where from? Where from? Gino's Pizza On 5th Avenue

Bay Ridge Brooklyn Shout out That's the first time they got shouted out All the way from Los Angeles Los Angeles We're in fucking Los Angeles, California Shout out Smithtown Water As well, why not

And then I also like My move is what I like Is I like Is I like Two regular slices And I also get Penny vodka with grilled chicken And I put the penny vodka

And grilled chicken On the slices Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Yeah, with tiramisu And I like a Diet Coke Yeah Why are you a Diet Coke? I like a Diet Coke

No calories I love that When you fucking eat that And then you try to Cut a corner on the drink Right And I'm a Diet Coke. Yeah. Why do you Diet Coke? I like a Diet Coke. No calories. I love that when you fucking eat that and then you try to cut a corner on the drink. Right. Then you do a Diet Coke. And I'm a big kid. I like Teddy Grahams. I like chocolate Teddy Grahams.

I pour those in a bowl with almond milk and I eat those to the face and I put a little Nutella and peanut butter in it. Yeah. Jesus Christ. I've got a real sweets problem. Yeah, you do. But you don't have, you're not a fat guy. You're a thick boy.

I train a lot. Yeah. Thick boy. But I was a chunky monkey a couple years ago but I'm just yeah I still eat

like bad but I train I try to train what's yours what's your dirty little secret I'll tell you my boy before he has

he's an in shape kid but he does have a weirdly big ass yeah no I've seen your butt your butt's big actually that's why your special came out

and you said size 36 size 38 waist 38 waist Yeah And the only reason it's 38 Is because you're tush Because your hips aren't that big

No no It's you know It's what I've said about myself before And I have leading man face Best friend body You got leading man face And Yamanika Sanders' ass Yeah yeah

Yeah Yeah Shout out Yum So we I heard you white motherfuckers Talking shit about me. She hears it already. This isn't even out yet.

She hears it. Lunch lady has it. When my father's funeral, Chris came, and there was a, you know, when they ask everyone. That was a good day

when his dad died. Stoked? You were stoked? Yeah. Well, it was just, you know, it was just, Giannis was happy.

Yeah. Relief? It was relief. Yeah. So, but they asked people to come up to say goodbye to the coffin, It was just Giannis was happy. Relief? It was relief. They asked people to come up to say goodbye to the coffin. And Chrissy went up. And I'm sad in the front. This is why I love Chrissy.

He just makes me laugh at the worst times. He stepped up onto the altar to go. And when he stepped up, the back of his jacket flared open. And his ass just popped out. Like it was a cartoon, like an accordion. It just kind of popped out. He's got a big ass that like it just came out. It was beautiful though.

It was hilarious. I mean it was really fun. I turned around. And I was laughing at my dad's funeral because – And his wife was pissed. Really? It looked weird because I just laughed. He's laughing in the front row of his dad's funeral. But it wasn't on purpose.

It wasn't on purpose. I know, but I got a big ass. So what? That's for fun. That's for fun. I did it on purpose to make Yanni laugh. What would your dad have said?

My dad would have loved it. My dad was that type of guy. He would have loved it. He thought that was funny, right? My dad called gay people $3 bills. He used to call $3 bills. That was great. Yeah, my dad called gay guys $3.

He would always go, that guy's gay like a $3 bill. I'm like, all right, whatever you say, guy. That generation made up stuff that didn't make sense. They did. Johnny Pump, that's's gay like a $3 bill. I'm like, all right, whatever you say, guy. That generation made up stuff that didn't make sense. They did. Johnny Pump. That's a big one.

Johnny Pump. Johnny Pump. Vestibules. Yeah. That's gay guys? Puerto Ricans? They always pronounce the Puerta. Puerta.

Puerto Ricans. By the way, this bothers me. Do you guys say huge or huge? I say huge. You do. New York says huge. They love that. Huge.

You say huge. We say huge. Say huge. Huge. Hard to do, isn't it, for some reason? Unless you grew up with it. It's fucking huge. You do. New York says huge. They love that. Huge. You say huge. We say huge. Say huge. Huge. Hard to do, isn't it, for some reason? Unless you grew up with it. It's fucking huge. But if I say, oh my God, that thing is huge, people look at me like I'm a fucking psycho.

What are you fucking going to say? Huge. Huge. Oh, that's fucking huge. Fucking huge. You say it like, you know, Trump does what you do. Trump goes, huge. Huge.

Huge. Huge. Yeah. Huge. And he's saying it right. Like most things he's saying right. So no, you agree with 95 to 97% of what he says

and we talked about this before. He does, yeah. Yeah, public no. You would never tell the world how big of a fan you are. Yeah. Not until now. So yeah.

If you think my hand is not going immediately to the right in that voting booth in November 2020, you got another thing coming. He's getting big. This is terrible

but I opened the show all weekend this weekend and I said I said thank you guys for coming out I don't know if you guys are paying attention to what's going on

around the world right now especially Australia it's very sad it's heartbreaking so I want to let you guys know I've decided tonight all the ticket sales every single dollar

tonight of your tickets and people are already like whoa and like every single dollar is going to Trump 2020 campaign yeah his 2020 campaign

whether you like him or not you've invested you've invested. You've invested. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't that funny to fuck with someone? To take their ticket sales and do that would be wild if I did that shit.

Hell yeah. And I'd list their names because they bought it online. I could list their names that donated. Yeah, that's funny. No, man, you decided to pay me so I'm going to donate to his campaign.

Yeah. Half of the, I mean, the crowd loved it. They lost it. But then afterwards, someone, a woman was like, are you really going to donate your ticket sales?

I was like, no. No. What are you? People are so fucking dumb. So fucking dumb. They come up to was like are you really gonna donate your ticket sales I was like no no what are you like so fucking dumb so dumb do you have a wife yeah when people

go to you after a comedy show and ask if you meant something or say they're offended by something it's almost like going into a pizza store

and going do you guys sell pizza you guys have pizza here yeah I mean it's a fucking comedy show yeah it's insane. I mean, if you're taking anything literally,

you obviously are missing where the store you're in. 100%. This woman said this weekend, she goes, she asked, I did a joke on your mom's house, on Segura's, and I did this whole joke that I didn't, I was paying for another man's life and I decided that I was getting out of comedy and getting into porn. And I wanted to further my career as a, as a pornographic actor. Right. Yeah. And she literally was like, I, I thought you really were going to get into

porn. Like I looked it up. Like I didn't know, do you, were you, do you plan on really quitting comedy? And I was like, ma'am, don't ever come back to a show. Don't, if that's your, if you have no idea that that's an obvious joke, like I get scared when I say that stuff on a podcast and people don't get it i'm just like oh my god are we slipping away from reality that far that they don't know we're got i mean comedians like we were talking about the other podcast it's like you get say held to the same standard as a politician it's like it says in my bio i'm a comedian everything that you hear and see i'm fucking i'm fucking around yeah that's because a comedy really is, it's being assaulted. Yeah. Under attack and like that. I love the Ricky Gervais thing and I also love Dave Chappelle's.

Twain? Yeah. It was wonderful. You know, because when you have the biggest dogs in the genre defending the genre, it makes it a lot easier for the little guys who are, you know, like us, who are getting like, can't say that, can't say that, can't get this, can't get that. Can't do that. Can't do that. Don't do that.

Can't do that. Don't do that. Don't come out of Can't get this. Can't get that. Can't do that. Can't do that. Don't do that. Can't do that. Don't do that. Don't come out of your house with that skin color and that gender. Isn't that funny to think that the previous, the forefathers of comedy that before us were way more fucked up than we ever were? And that's the irony is like now we're the bad guys for some reason. You're like, are you kidding me? Do you ever hear what Don Rickles used to say?

Did you ever pay attention to anything? Like I love when people say that they're a fan of his and I was like, really? It's the same way I feel about Howard Stern. Like I have nothing but respect for Stern. But it is funny that there's all these super hardcore liberal feminist activist Hollywood people that go there. He's the same guy who's like, how big is his dick? You know what I mean? He's like the first guy to be like, show me your tits.

You know what I mean? Gwyneth Paltrow, let me see your tits. It's so funny that everyone holds everything to a different standard. So you're right. When a big guy in comedy stands up for the whole of us to be like like you guys can't you can't pick and choose you you have to let this all exist you can't just go they can say it because they're more famous no fuck that people are you have to let it all exist when when chapelle said that shit when he said i don't care if i know he's racist and i disagree with him i might still have a beer with him afterwards it's just that's the

world of comedy that exists i was like thank that's that's what it always has been that's what it used that's what that's what used to be the norm and now it's like a this weird shift but fuck all that fuck all that i think i think now the real comedy fans in my opinion are solidified as uh as as the actual uh consumers of comedy more than ever now it's not just a trend it's not like i love comedy i think now more than ever i see people it's like they're all. It's not like, I love comedy I think. Now more than ever I see people, it's like, they're all hardcore comedy fans that are coming out.

They like want to be there bad. Which is good. It eliminates the fucking people that don't even want to, you know, we just came here and we thought it was, you know,

whatever. And we didn't like the way he talked. It's like, well fucking don't come then. Well that's what's beautiful about this. It's like this unfiltered,

unedited comedy we can do. It's like we're in these people's ears for like an hour a week and they're just we feel like it's almost like we're part of their family i'm inside your car yeah i'm inside their car right listen i'm inside your car right now yeah i'm inside your fucking 2013 hyundai sonata and i can hear it that trunk is rattling right now isn't it yeah yeah i hear you mike i see you driving alone on 185 i know what's going on with you pal listen don't do it put away the gun don't do it michael or if you are gonna do it you just save someone's life

yeah he just pulls over he starts crying if you are gonna do it i would live stream it oh yeah live stream it tweets for your family do something for your family did you see what antonio brown did today what did he do now you know who that is don't you no of course yeah he fucking he was kicking his uh the cop got the cops called on, he was kicking his girlfriend or his wife or whatever out of his house. He's losing it too, this guy. I mean, going off, he was live streaming,

he was on Instagram live and he's like, that's right, bitch, you bitch ass motherfucker, calling, dropping a lot of N's, dropping a lot of juicy big N's. What word specifically? No nose.

Oh, okay. Call him no nose. Yeah, those black guys love to drop That no-nos The no-nos Yeah no-nos No for some reason He was losing it

On the cops and this woman It's just like That's another example When you get too big And you let it go to your head And then now He's gonna be a guy We see on ESPN in 10 years

Who went broke Spent all of his money And did all the fucked up shit I think he's like Truly mentally ill And I wonder if he's Suffering from CTE Yeah that's what I'm saying

Gotta be As soon as a football player Does something like that Just like get the kid in a cat scan machine. Yeah, get him in there. What is that? Was that wire bothering you?

I like to go in the front a little bit. You want it in the front? It just makes me feel good. Yeah, when I got like something nice between my legs, long and hard and black. Yeah. Is that a typical thing for you? I've never, well, I think we've said this on the podcast before that I certainly fall in love with men and have sex with women.

Do you ever think about a man when you're having sex with a woman? No, I Do you ever think about a man when you're having sex with a woman? No, I don't ever think about a man when I'm having sex with a woman. But I did come once getting a blowjob, and it was taking me a long time to come. And then when I finally did come, I was watching ESPN, and LeBron James dunked, and his muscles looked great, and I came. So I don't know. I can tell you this for sure. I'm 100% sure I'm not gay, but I'm also 100% sure I'm not straight.

I talked to straight. Ah. I talked to Dr. Drew about this. I was asking if every guy – you know, you hear these rumors that every guy had a gay experience when they were young. Did you have a gay experience when you were young? Yeah, a little bit. You did? It wasn't a big gay experience. It was a quick lick of each other's penises. Whoa.

Yeah, we licked each other's dicks. How old? Probably 25, 26 years old. Whoa. Yeah. I feel like that's a little late. Yeah. I'm joking.

Yeah, it was seven, six. No, I know, I know. You were seven years old. Whoa. Yeah. I feel like that's a little late. Yeah. I'm joking. Yeah, it was seven, six. No, I know, I know. You were seven years old? No. God. I'm just going to make it younger to make it sound better. I was four. You were four or five?

Four or five. And you and your buddy were hanging out and you pulled your pee-pees out? Yeah. It's Brooklyn. Oh, it's Brooklyn. Oh, this is in Brooklyn. Brooklyn, Indiana. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got that part of the story. This makes sense. Yeah, that would make sense. So you kissed each other on the no-no? Yeah, we kissed each other on the no no Yeah we kissed each other On the no no And um You went like this

Was it a kiss Or a tongue It was a lick It was a real lick It was a lick It was an ice cream lick I missed out I never had a gay experience

There's a lick On an ice cream cone And what happened after that You thought I don't want to do it again Yeah We just kind of did it It was you know

It's like yeah We were kind of You know we used to Jerk off together Like I think Do all kids do that I think a lot of guys jerk off together drew was telling me that not all men do that but i go i think most guys have circle jerk or jerk off experiences with other men he said drew didn't drew has had no gay experience whatsoever he was saying that

it's not a normalized it's not a it's not a thing that um shouldn't be acceptable or normalized but it is something that is because of hormones. The intense amount of hormones that are happening when you're going through puberty, it's completely normal to be sexually so overtly frustrated that it's not about gender at that point. You're just looking at how can you get your penis rubbed, touched, jerked, cummed. It's just hormones. I think he has had gay experiences and he blacks them out. You think so? For sure.

I know so. Because I've been in the room with him when gay shit's been going down. Really? Give me something. Give me something. No, nothing. We just,

I did his show last year. It was great. And we were talking about vitamins and health things and all that. And then he just took his shirt off and I started licking his nipples. You licked his nipples?

Yeah. And what did he say? No, he asked me to put coconut oil on him because he's keto. And then I licked, I licked his, I licked his coconut oil nipples.

And then I started, yeah, playing with his balls a little bit. And then somebody came in and stuck a broom handle up my ass. And then I blacked out. Let's just get a word for our sponsor. Grindr.com. It's a great app. Check it out. They're good for...

I would love Grindr to be a sponsor. That would be great. I'm also jealous of that. Like, look, I miss the fucking... I miss the app revolution. But I also... I don't think the app revolution, but I also, I don't think the app revolution

is that cool anyway for single people as much as it is for Grindr. For gay guys, it's like the coolest thing in the world. Oh my God.

Because Tinder is like a whole thing. Grindr, you just get to fucking give your address. I was going to say, your actual address. I mean,

our gay friends, you know, they'll leave the door open in their apartment and the guy will just come in, jerk them off, suck their cock,

whatever it may be. And leave. And then leave. There's no like profile pics of faces on Grindr. No. It's abs. It's abs.

A buddy of mine I ran into having dinner with a friend, and we just got to talking about it. And I was like, where were you before this? He's like, I just fucked this dude. And I was like, oh, really? He's like, yeah. I go, have you ever walked in? Because he makes them bend over. He wants them bent over when he walks in.

Sure. And I said, have you ever just walked in and not liked the ass and left he's like absolutely multi he's like but that's a total normal thing for to walk in and go no thank you and then leave right because yeah because it's got to be a nightmare to like get inside a guy's ass oh my god because i keep a clean ass but it's like it's i don't want anyone here it's a nightmare you wax it do you have 100 clean ass right now no i'm always i'm always a little bit shady give yourself a percentage yourself a percentage, what would it be? 68. 68%. Wow. Yeah, where are you at? I'm saying right now

I think I'm hovering around 78, 79% clean ass. Much better than me though. Do you baby wipe when you're done? I do baby wipe when I'm done but in LA, does that hurt the toilet system here? Everything's so fragile.

We throw it in the trash, yeah. Oh, you throw it in the trash here, right? Have you washed your ass since you got off the plane? Yeah, I did. That's why I had a break but I'm still saying even though I washed my ass

and I got off the plane, I still know I'm a little swampy. I had to go grab something real fast from the store. So it's kind of like I rebuild the stank within 10 to 15 minutes of getting out. There's a lot of hair. Are you someone, like, because I know me, if I don't have a 100% clean ass, confidence, like if I'm in a meeting or even I'm doing comedy, it's not as good. I'm at my peak, my best, when I'm 100% clean.

I'm talking shower. I'm talking a swap of Wish Hazel. I'm at my peak, my best, when I'm 100% clean. I'm talking shower. I'm talking a swap of Wish Hazel. I'm talking 100% clean ass. But can I tell you? It's either 100% clean or I'm super confident when I'm a filth bucket. In the middle, I'm not that confident. Not that good in the middle. Interesting.

But if I have meetings all day, my feet stink. They hurt. My back's tired. It's the last one of the day. I got a little bit of streak in my underwear. I know I shit and I didn't wipe and it was a little bit left you know and yeah oh yeah then i'm walking that meeting i'm booking the gig because you just don't care i don't care i don't give a fuck dude i've had i've had four because yana said yana said he had diarrhea once for two

years which is wild yeah um i've just so yeah until he gave me the probiotics i'm taking now you ever eat yogurt? Just eat yogurt I do eat a lot of yogurt too I don't know what it is That's really good Great for you You had diarrhea for two years?

Pretty much I didn't have A solid shit for like A couple years Is that bad? That's bad That's right I've had the opposite by the way I've had rabbit poops one time

For like three months straight You know like The pellets What was going on? Not drinking enough water Not getting enough good food Not sleeping well enough You know

It's all the Really pooping all it is Is drinking enough water not getting enough good food not sleeping well enough you know it's all really pooping all it is is you gotta drink water get some good sleep and don't eat trash that's all it is and then you start to

yeah because I had diarrhea for like two and a half weeks wow and it was like getting to the point where I was like am I ever gonna have

a solid shit again and now like I'm just taking nice S shaped beautiful shit S's is nice that's what they want C

I'm a C I'm a C shape I don't get an S is a lot that s is nice that's that's what they want to see i'm a c i'm a c shape i don't get an s is a lot that's really nice doctors that means you'd curl doctors just want to see form to your shit they don't want to see palettes they don't want to see clumps yeah they want to see a form a letter what would your letter be well my letter my shits are always the same here it is my shits are always like a big log when they're healthy. Yeah. And then there's always just an extra on top, like loose poop. Yeah, loose poop. So it's like a sundae. It's like where it's just like scoops of ice cream and then whipped cream on top.

It's always loose poop that drops on it. Right. It's like when you soft serve, you know, the machine, the moment you turn it off, some still comes out a little bit at the end. That's it. You get a little extra soft serve there. It's like a dog. Like when a dog poops, you know, there's that little scent out a little bit at the end. That's it. You get a little extra soft serve there. It's like a dog.

Like when a dog poops, you know there's that little scent of drip that they put on there? Yep. I have that with kind of little spray. How comfortable are you with the bathroom stuff with the opposite sex? Are you comfortable? Can you have the door open or no? Yeah, I fart. I fart in bed.

I do too, and I feel like that's probably not good, huh? I think as long as your wife's okay with it. No, the old bag doesn't like it. She doesn't like it. She doesn't like it. Every girlfriend I had, I would always, if I took a monster huge S-shaped shit, I would call them in to look at it. I'd make them look at it. Really?

You're a disturbed child. A lot of people didn't want to do it, but I just fucking held their face right over the water. I was like, fucking slice the garlic. This was before V2. You could do things like that. Yeah, you could. You could get away with it.

Now you get in trouble. Yeah, you can't fuck up my sauce. I used to be delicate about farting in the bed. I won't fart on the couch now because I'm afraid it's a nice new couch. I don't want it to sit in the fabric. You have a nice place. Thanks, man. You got a real nice crib.

Do you guys want babies? Yeah, you guys want to help? Yeah, 100%. We need someone to cheer us on a little bit. Yeah, yeah. I get tired halfway through. I need someone to be like, do what? Will you really?

100%. I would love that shit. That would be really funny. Like if he's in there, we'll just cheer. Come on. Come on, man. Come on, man. Come on, buddy. You got it.

Stop fucking around. Yeah, you can fucking do it. But we've been edging. We've been edging. So I'm trying to get. What is edging mean now? Come on, man. It's when you get close to coming and you stop.

You're building up the pressure. You're Asian, dude. You're building up, dude. You build it up. It's Asian shit, dude. The Asians do all that weird shit. But when do you finally come then? You do it a couple times.

Then you get ready. And then the pop is way stronger. Yeah. So okay so it's all in the same sex thing like Yeah it's in the same session. Wait two days.

No no no. It's all in the same hour. You can no Sting does that. Sting does Kama Sutra that's a part of Kama Sutra. Sting won't come for like a week and then come

and lose his mind. He'll build up all this you know like like the blue ball the idea of blue balls which we don't get anymore because you're too old for your balls

to have that kind of stress it's like I could get close to coming and stop and then have a normal day, by the way. Yeah. It's like, you can fuck, I could, I could go to work. But with us, it's like, yeah, during sex, you just, you, you build up and then, then you either change position to do something to switch. So you're not going to come.

So you just wait right before your orgasm. You stop, you do it a couple of times. And then the pop is big. Guys like Sting do it though for like days on end. The guy's a freak, dude. He does stuff where he just massages their feet and jerks off until he's close enough, and then he stops. So he's single.

He's doing this to... I don't know. I think he's got a lady. Yeah. But he's known to Kama Sutra shit. That's his thing. I kind of want to read the book now. Yeah.

Yeah. I would do it. Because Indians are freaks, dude. They got a billion of those motherfuckers. I was going to say, look at how many people. Indians and Asians. I mean, yeah. Same thing. They are Asian. are freaks, dude. They got a billion of those motherfuckers. I was going to say, look at how many people, Indians and Asians. I mean, yeah. Same thing.

They are Asian. Indians are Asians, dude. What? Yeah. They're all the enemy to me. That's what I'm saying, dude. Also, by the way, you can't say the word. So we say in America, we say Indian in reference to Indians.

But also, you don't really say Indian anymore for Native Americans. But I don't think it's anything that someone would be like, Oh my God about, but I said that in Canada. Woo. No. Oh, cause they have a native.

They have a, like it's big there. Inuits, Inuits. It's called their, um, the woman said to me, she said,

my, the bartender was like, my boyfriend was chalk or whatever. And I said, what is that? And she said, Oh, he's native.

I said, Oh, okay. And then I just, in the next random part of the conversation, I said, you're because your boyfriend is Indian. Right. And she was like, Oh my God. And she was like the most offended. I was like, no. I said, oh, okay. And then I just, in the next random part of the conversation, I said, because your boyfriend is Indian, right?

And she was like, oh my God. And she was like the most offended. I was like, no, I mean, I mean, native, like native American. And she's like,

that is, that is so fucking racist. I was like, dead, dead ass. It's big out there like that. I didn't mean it like that, of course. I, you know.

She said, come on, lady, give me a break. Come on. I go, dude, I said feather, not dot, lady, you fucking trash bag. You fucking trash monkey. Yeah, it's like, you fucking trash monkey yeah it's so fun no she lost it on me and for a second i thought i i guess i get i get it maybe that's not the right term but yeah i did i knocked

her the fuck out i tipped her nothing good are you trying to have kids right now yeah a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit you know it's so hard to schedule things are so hard me too i'm going through right touring like let's fuck now. And I'm going, ah. Is she on a calendar? She's like, yeah. It's like when she feels like she's, you know, it'll be in like the middle of the worst, you know. Yeah, having a bad day.

You got a bad phone call. Your ass is 60% clean. You lost the job. It's all going downhill. Why don't you want to fuck me? Yeah. Let's do it right now. And it's like, it doesn't work that way.

Nope. Nope. I had my kid was just like. You had a kid on accident though. But that's like, I feel like sometimes that's the way it's just going to happen. I think Puerto Rican wombs, I think the egg just comes out and grabs the sperm and pulls it in. It just pulls it in. Yeah. Yeah.

No, it was instant. I mean, she got pregnant. Did you know the moment that you came that you might be in trouble? She did. She knew it. She knew. She was like, I swear I feel pregnant. Like an hour later.

An hour? Because she had a kid already. So She was like, I swear I feel pregnant. Like an hour later. An hour? Because she had a kid already. So she was like, it's the same feeling. So we went and got a Plan B and it didn't just... How many kids does she have now? You had a Plan B in the baby? You watched her take it? I watched her take it at the CVS.

She took a Plan B, still got pregnant? Puerto Ricans, bro. Yeah. Fucking Islanders. They got it, man. I'm that 1% guy. She took a Plan B and still... She didn't take it.

No, she took it. She took it right in front of me. She took a blankie and still, she didn't take it. No, she took it. She took it right in front of me. She was like, joking around. I was like, I swallowed it. Yo, but when you, right now when you're trying,

when you're doing it and you're trying, are you thinking like you want to know it's a good one that makes the kid? Yeah. There's a few where

I'm not really knocking it out and I'm like, I hope this wasn't the one. Oh yeah, sometimes when I nut and I think if that was the one I'll be bummed. Yeah.

Because I'll think like the one I just did wasn't that athletic. Yeah, yeah. He'll come out. Because I'll think like the one I just did wasn't that athletic. Yeah. You want to do something right. He'll come out. You want to do a nice performance to make a kid. I want him to be, I want him to have some skill.

Is there positions that are better like you on top or? I always tell her blowjobs work the best. I say you keep blowing me, let me come down that throat, get you pregnant right away. You want to tell, you want to, you want to hear a real, a real, a real story babe? Yeah. So, so my kids, when my kid's mom, my daughter was born three days late. So she was born on May 19th. On May 16th, we went into the doctor's office and it was a doula.

And a doula, they're like Hasidic Orthodox Jewish. Like some are actual Hasidic and some are Orthodox Jews. Like very extremely religious people. That's who gave, that's who they're like midwives. So it's May 16th. She's like, come back tomorrow. So we midwives. So it's May 16th. She's like, come back tomorrow. So we go back. Now it's May 18th

and you have to keep coming back after you miss your due date. And she goes, you know, asking all these things. Have you tried this? Have you tried that? And then the doula says,

she goes, have you swallowed any of his sperm yet? And then she was like, what? And then she was like, there's properties in sperm when swallowed and digested

will cause dilation and will cause the cervix to begin to dilate and will start to induce labor. She's like, there's properties in sperm. When swallowed and digested, will cause dilation. And will cause the cervix to begin to dilate. And will start to induce labor. She's like, it's an old wives tale. Trust me, it works. And then my kid's mom was like, did you fucking pay her to say that? She was like, so let me get this straight. Because she was just in a mode where she wants the baby to come out.

She was like, so you want me to blow him and swallow it? And the doula was like, yes, that's what I'm saying. So then we go back. And then I'm just like, you know, not mentioning it. Did you high five the doula was like, yes, that's what I'm saying. So then we go back and then I'm just like, you know, not mentioning it. Did you high-five the doula on the way out? Yeah. Nice one. Throw a couple bucks. I was like, I don't know why people don't like your people. You guys are good people. You know?

So Germans can't help it. Yeah. You're one of the good Jews. So I'll never forget. We're sitting there on the couch and it's like an hour or two went by

like she's just like you know nobody's really talking I'm just like you're dancing around it a little bit yeah I'm just like wow fucking great you're like

these jeans got small I'm gonna take these pants off this is uncomfortable so she goes into the bathroom comes out her hair's in a ponytail and she comes out goes to the bedroom

gets a pillow and puts it down in front of me and I'm like what are you doing and then she gets on and she goes fucking pull it out and i was like no like are you seriously believe that she's like chris pull out your dick yes and then she just gets down and then you got hard and then she starts sucking it and then she starts fucking

sucking it well no i was really hard because like when you get like so like when you're that pregnant like you don't care about maintenance she had her mustache mustache and her beard back. So I was like, I'm going to come. So she starts sucking it and it's just like, she's like, fucking come in my mouth. I need you to come in my mouth. And then I just let one fucking rip. Hand to God. 45 minutes later, her water broke. Shut up.

That's ancient Jewish wisdom. Ancient Jewish wisdom. Yeah. I remember the baby was born at 10.04 a.m. And my dad, like, my kid's mom is legit, like, crowning. Like, pushing the baby out. And my dad walks in. My mother was already there.

My dad walks in with the New York Post. And he's like, we having a baby? And then my kid's mom was like, what is he doing here? And I'm like, dad, like, you can't be in here. He's like we're having a baby and then my my kid's mom was like what is he doing here and i'm like dad like you can't be in here he's like he's like why i'm like i'm like because he's like it's my granddaughter and i'm like yeah i'm just you gotta go and then like as he's leaving he's like by the way sabbathie got fucking rock last night he's gotta trade him and i'm like okay and your daughter turned to crawl back in i don't want to be born in this family. No, fuck that. My daughter came out and was like, yes, my dad's white. There's hope.

Yeah, yeah. You should have named her Hope. How big was she? How many pounds? She was... You had a big kid. Six pounds, 11 ounces. Not that big.

What were you? What was I? I think I... I don't know. What were you, Jan? You don't know? I don't know. 7'11".

You were 7'11"? No, I was 7'11". That's what my mom always said. 7-11, my sister was like 9-1. Wow. Fucking fat baby. Come on, fucking big tits. She's big now, too.

Yeah, yeah. She's on that My 600-lb Life. You can see her every Tuesday on TLC. On TLC. She's a heavy one. How many siblings do you have? Just her. But she's skinny as a fucking rail.

It's hilarious. She's so tiny. She was a big baby, and then now she's so skinny, man. Where does she live? Does she live in Chicago? Chi-town. Do you like her? She's skinny as a fucking rail. It's hilarious. She's so tiny. She was a big baby, and then now she's so skinny, man. Where does she live? Does she live in Chicago? Chi-town. Do you like her? She's Chicago.

Not a husband. No, I got a boyfriend, not a husband. She's young. Is he fucking half a fag? She's young. Yeah, $3. $3 bill. $3 bill.

What were you going to say? What, did you got something, a story? I can't remember what I was going to say. No, come on. Johnny's got early onset also. You do? Early onset, yeah. Johnny Sundowns is what we call him. All do? Early onset, yeah. Johnny's sundowns

is what we call it. All people with Alzheimer's when it gets dark. We're doing the podcast at dark. That's the problem. This is when it fucks up your head.

Sundowning, yeah. I feel very vulnerable podcasting without shoes on. That's my favorite thing. I want people to... And I can't stop twiddling my feet. Well, because you make

it comfortable. He doesn't wear shoes on. I know. He does it with no shoes on. That's right, baby! Yeah. But you know why? You know why?

Because shoes in somebody's home means that you're not comfortable there. no shoes that's right baby yeah but from but you know why yeah you know why because shoes shoes in somebody's home uh means that you're not comfortable there really yeah interesting that makes sense it means you're not coming that's why that's why uh it's a cleaner way to do it people should do that well i think around the world a lot of a lot of cultures do it because they think that you're supposed to feel like you're at you're at home at home yeah when your shoes on means you you're gonna leave at any moment. Like in a hotel, I never take my shoes off.

In here, we pour whiskey. You got a bunch of clutter in your life, you got to get rid of it, okay? You can't do that. That's not how the whiskey ginge lives his life. I like to clean house

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Back to the episode. Ginger. I like gingers. Yeah. You're alive during the best. This is the best. This is the episode. Ginger. I like gingers. Yeah. You're alive during the best. This is the best. This is the best. I just had a vision of his wife in the other room just like having a glass of wine on the phone with one of her girlfriends.

Her girlfriend's going like, so, where is he? And she's like, he's at work. And he's in the other room just here. We're talking about fucking shitting on the chest. Shitting. Yeah, I'm like, you got to swallow or cum. Yeah. We're at work.

But I'm going to use that. I'm using that. No, do it. Do it. Do it tonight. And this is a good episode. I'll tell you what. This or cum. Work, work, work. But I'm going to use that. I'm using that. No, do it. Do it. Do it tonight. And this is a good episode. I'll tell you what. This isn't Nate Bargatze energy.

I drink your milkshake. Yeah. You guys are raising the fucking... You do. Ladder 14 always raises the energy of this fucking event. I knew when you guys were going to come into town. I was so excited. You guys came into LA

Hey hey hey hey Don't call this place a town It's a city It's a city Liberal however you want to call it Tomatoes tomatoes This kid's fucking hair's on fire Yeah kid's fucking hair's on fire

I tell you we came in here City's fucking a little gay You guys were in town For how long fellas? A couple days We were doing a little Firefighter convention Oh really?

Yeah we saw We saw Barking places Crawling with Mexicans Crawling with Mexicans Crawling with Mexicans And then we saw And then we saw I didn't know

Bobby Lee's got a special On Netflix where he's pregnant Yeah Oh no no no Guys that's That's Ali Wong Oh yeah Yeah it's Ali Wong

That's not Bobby Lee No Is Bobby Lee and Ali Wong The same guy Bobby Lee's a guy That's Ali's a woman Yeah no sorry guys Yeah yeah yeah

I saw him over at the comedy store Yeah we could have Fucking guy We didn't know he was pregnant Or he was fat We had no idea Are you guys big comedy fans? Yeah

You know we love Shane Gillis That's our favorite Oh you like Shane? We like Shane Gillis a lot Anthony from Opie and Anthony Oh you like them? And I like some of Michael Richards old work

Those are good Those are good Those are good people to like Yeah go with them Have you ever seen stuff like Hannah Gadsby Nanette Did you watch that special

What the fuck is that No what the fuck is that Real powerful Real popular special You guys would love it It's right up your alley Who do they vote for Who does she vote for

Who do you think she voted for She's very very left Very liberal So is that something You'd align with maybe politically Look I'm just gonna I'm gonna skip that over I'm gonna look

I only got one channel It's Fox News That's what I pay out Okay It's like yeah It's like you know Sometimes when my daughter Can't get to sleep

Colleen I got a daughter My wife's Colleen Senior My daughter's Colleen Junior When my daughter Colleen Junior Can't go to sleep I put on some of that Fucking Hannah Gatsby

And that shit Go to bed She goes to sleep Go to sleep Yankees Jets Tucker Carlson Oh wow

One two three That's it So would Dave Chappelle Be somebody Or is that not Your kind of Dave Chappelle's a funny kid He's a good kid He's Chappelle's a funny kid.

He's a good kid? He's a good fucking kid. You guys do know... Have you ever seen him or have you only heard his stuff? No, no. You've seen him? I used to do the Chappelle show.

I like that one sketch. What was that one sketch? The name of the family. Oh, the skit? Oh, yeah, that skit. What was it? That was a good skit. What was it?

I think it was called The No-Nos. No, The No-No Family. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that was a good sketch. No, I like Dave Chappelle. I like Dave Chappelle. I think he's one of the funniest guys in America. You know, the only thing, it's like, you know, you gotta just be careful because he's Muslim. That's the only thing. That's theo family. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that was a good sketch. No, I like Dave Chappelle. I like Dave Chappelle. I think he's one of the funniest guys in America. You know, the only thing, it's like, you know, you got to just be careful because he's Muslim.

That's the only thing. That's the only thing. You got to be careful. A lot of people don't fucking know that. He's Muslim. Yeah, he's a good fucking kid. No, he's a good guy, but, you know, it's like next thing you know, this guy's doing jokes yelling out of the walk bar.

Can't happen. Yeah, can't happen. I think you guys know a lot of people that do have secrets like that. Who else has religious secrets that might be Muslim that we don't know about? Barack Obama. Oh, we know about that. That one's obvious. Yeah, no, that one we know. You know, it's one of those things like I like, you know, Barack Barack Obama. Oh, we know about that. That one's obvious. Yeah, no, that one we know.

You know, it's one of those things like I like, you know, Barack Obama's a president so I respect that, but you don't think that guy was born in this country. I mean, you're fucking You're out of your head, right?

You didn't get a fucking education. Everybody knows. He wasn't born in this country. He was born in Hawaii. Everybody knows that. Everybody knows that shit. That's right. He's a Hawaiian Muslim.

Yep, Hawaiian Muslim. But Trump's gonna win in another fucking landslide. And fucking Hillary Clinton, you know, fucking, you gotta watch what you say because that woman, she'll kill you. Right. And we'll tell you what, though, on. Hillary Clinton, you know, you got to watch what you say because that woman, she'll kill you.

Right. We'll tell you what, though. On the left side, I've been watching some of the debates. The kid Andrew Ying Yang is good.

Oh, you like him? What do you like about him? He spoke English. I thought that was Ali Wong. Oh, yeah. That could be Ali Wong, too. Yeah, Andrew Ying Yang, he was made in China,

so that means he's American. Yeah, he's the most American candidate, actually. That's what it is, yeah. So you guys like those guys. Is that your front runner? No, so that means he's American. Yeah, he's the most American candidate, actually. That's what it is, yeah. So you guys like those guys. Is that your frontrunner? No, my frontrunner is Donald Trump. Oh, right.

Well, no, if he doesn't win, who else? Donald Trump Jr. If Donald Trump Sr. don't win, I'll vote for Donald Trump Jr. That makes sense. I'm looking at more just like his Harlem Globetrotters. So it's like Donald Trump is a Harlem Globetrotters, and whoever the fucking Democrats throw at him is like the generals. They're there to fucking lose.

They're going to lose. The show is fucking the Harlem Globetrotters. I'll be honest with you right now, you know, because I obviously want an audio podcast and also a visual podcast. No, people see this at home.

We got visual fucking video and audio podcast. We got visual video and it's a fucking beautiful home and a beautiful studio. Thank you. I can tell you it's nice up to date.

I do move a little slower if I saw and if I see an I'm with her pin in your house, I will let a few more items burn. But if I see Trump 2020, I'm running up those fucking stairs. It's my own family. You like that? It's my own family.

I appreciate that. But we did take it off. We will put you out of a fire. But it's a little quicker if you vote to the right. You'll get the premium host. We're going to let this whole fucking city burn to the ground. It's just a little bit like, you know, and it's like

Look I'm out here in Los Angeles The first time I've ever even come The furthest west I've ever been was New Jersey So now that I'm out here in Los Angeles And I see what's going on with the weather I'm fully convinced now that 100% the Chinese did make up global warming I know that for a fact You knew that

I feel like we know that But I don't know if you guys knew that we didn't know that you guys were aware of that so you think the Chinese made it to kill us all do they have another place

to go when they're off this planet you think I don't know where the fuck those guys go go to China go to fucking China I know but if global warming

takes over the country it kills the whole I mean it kills the whole earth kills the earth where do they go oh China's gonna last yeah I don't know China's not a fucking planet

I don't live on a fucking planet I don't live on a fucking planet I live in a fucking I live in a I live in a Western American New York City

Fucking world Right Yeah I don't know about fucking China Would you guys ever go to a Chinese planet That's another fucking planet No Never

Chinese No it's not No disrespect gets down But it's like you know I'm not trying to fucking get near You know it's just weird I mean you got a restaurant In the first thing I said

It was where you need Chinese That's from the Chinese. Yeah, you got to be here. Let me ask you this. Because we're on Southern California. We're close to Mexico. Is the wall, does it come up here? Yeah.

Do you get to go down and view it and take pictures and selfies with it? We can go every Sunday, the old bag, and I go down there to put another brick in. We put one brick every Sunday. Yeah. I treat it like the Hissiti studio, the Wailing Wall. I would go down there and I'd take a wish and I'd put it right in there. What would the wish be If you put it in the wall

Can we keep this thing going Keep it up And hope it's mighty For a thousand years Would you guys help build the wall Absolutely Yeah It'd be a fucking honor

It'd be a fucking honor And I'll tell you what Yeah It's a fucking honor And I'd like to go down there Yeah And I'd fucking Like to fucking cramp down

You know A kid like Arsh Fier And make him a brick And put him right in the wall Oh right right right Arsh Fier and make him a brick and put him right in the wall. Oh, right, right, right. Arsh Fier, a Jewish guy. Yeah, he's a Jewish guy. He's a good kid.

He's a funny fucking guy. He's a funny guy? So you guys do like Jewish people? We do like Jewish people. I got no problem with Jewish people. I support Israel. You do? I support Israel.

That makes sense. If Trump supports Israel, we support Israel. Yeah, I support Israel. So if Trump supported Palestine, you would be— Jews, you just got to fucking—you got to know. They got different things. What they did to Jesus, that was a thing that happened. Right.

It was a thing that fucking happened You believe that that happened? I know it happened I know it happened Oh you do? Yeah I'm gonna kill Jesus So it's like one thing

I can be friends with a guy Right But deep down I know He knows what happened I know what happened And at the end of the day I can only be so close with him You know what I mean?

Aaron What's the longest character piece You've ever done? Andrew Andrew Answer me this Andrew If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If If I'm a fucking talent, I'm gonna be a fucking talent, I'm gonna be a fucking talent, I'm gonna be a fucking talent, I'm gonna be a fucking talent, I'm gonna be a fucking talent, I'm gonna be a fucking talent, I'm gonna be a fucking talent, I'm gonna be a fucking talent, I'm gonna be a fucking talent, I'm gonna be a fucking talent, I'm gonna be a fucking talent, I'm gonna be a fucking talent, I'm gonna be a fucking talent me this, Andrew. If fucking Jesus, okay, a lot of people out there are trying to say Jesus is not a fucking talent kid from New York City.

Okay? A lot of people are trying to debate that. They say he's not a talent kid from New York City. Right. Okay. Tell me this. Why do the Yankees have so many championships? Why?

Why do they have, right? Why do the Yankees have so many championships? And why is there the whole fucking Atlantic Ocean between us and the fucking Sands or D's that live in the Middle East? You can't fucking answer that. It's because Jesus is a talent kid that loves the Yankees and he put the Atlantic Ocean in between us and the fucking Muslimsands or Dees that live in the Middle East you can't fucking answer that because Jesus is an Italian kid that loves the Yankees and he put the Atlantic Ocean

in between us and the fucking Muslims to protect us from it well this makes perfect sense yeah I mean a lot of people don't think about it that way but when you think about it that's what happened

you can ask me anything you can ask me anything you can ask me anything you want you can ask me any fucking question I fucking know the answer because I watch my fucking news every night

shout out Tucker Carlson Tucker's your guy he's my fucking guy and Judge Jeanine I love those fucking news every night. Shout out Tucker Carlson. Tucker's your guy. Tucker's my guy. Judge Jeanine, I love those fucking guys. Yeah, Judge Jeanine, she'll get fucked too. Yeah, she's hot.

She'll get ripped up? She'll get ripped up, yeah. Now, you guys married men, both of you? I got a wife, Colleen Senior. My daughter's Colleen Junior. Right. What about you?

Yeah, the girls. I just call them the girls. Oh, you call them the girls? Yeah, I got a wife, daughter, dog, all girls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's got a good mom. I got a good mom. I'm an Irish Oh you call him the girls I got a wife Daughter Dog All girls Yeah yeah yeah And he's got a guma When

I gotta have a guma I'm an Irish kid My Sean Terry Paddy Moe Rooney Will out of 14 But you know We grew up in New York City Got a little Italian

Well it's cause his wife's Italian If your wife's Italian You can have a guma Then you get to be I'm respecting her culture Got it She's Italian So I'm having a guma

Even her father understands That I have a guma He respects He respects How the fuck is her father Supposed to be convinced That he's not gay If he doesn't have a guma

Exactly It makes sense It's like my wife Married a fucking gay guy Exactly Makes sense Good to be on this Fucking radio show

When you guys When this When you guys get cancelled This will be the clip That they play It's gonna be this I think we dropped A couple of F's

What else do we do here But it's just a character piece These are just characters That's my friend His name's Patty Mulroney he's never been to the city in Manhattan we're from New York City

my name's Sean Terry we're out of Borough Firefighters we brought our passport to the Brooklyn Bridge so it's not our fault it's not our fault we only got basic cables you saw Fox News

I don't know what HBO is yeah we're just kidding around where did those kids come from? those were guys that we grew up with when did that start though? when did we start doing that? Sean Terry, Patrick Mulroney

I don't know oh I remember it's so fun we used to start though? When did we start doing that? Sean Terry, Patrick Maroney I don't know Oh I remember So fun We used to start to do every podcast We would start down Count down how many days It's been since 9-11 Yeah that's

Well I know you guys Been doing it But what was the birth of it? I remember I actually remember We were doing a We were doing a Patreon episode In your house

With the phone And I just said A lot of 14 We just said Because we always say wild shit Right Especially him He says wild stuff

Yeah he says it And then I just said A lot of 14 And then I did the voice And then we just said because we always say wild shit he's especially him he says wild stuff and then I just said a lot of 14 and then I did the voice and then we just started doing it it just stuck and I just came up with the names

Patty Mulroney and Sean Taylor because they're all Irish but you love characters yeah I do love characters you don't you're not a bit this is the first time I've seen you really

get into characters when you do this it's like it's a different thing but it's great because you never were a character that's why he's born

for comedy because like in acting, he would just be... If you couldn't do Shakespeare, he always has that fucking sewer queen's accent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like,

to be or not to be? To be or not to be? That's the eternal question you can ask me. He's fucking New York, man. I mean, he's New York to the bone You can't get away You couldn't get away with much

No I can't Character wise That's really funny Yeah cause I can't do it It's like Cause my family is so New York I mean my I mean real New York City

And your choices are very New York Like you fucking tattoo Oh yeah I got Yeah cause look My neighborhood tattooed on my arm He's got his name You know a kid's got some class Yeah

When he tattoos his neighborhood And the date that he was established On his arm 1984 And then I got There's a good chance He's gonna have a baby's mama And then. Yeah. When he tattoos his neighborhood and the date that he was established on his arm. 1984. Just let him know. There's a good chance he's going to have a baby's mama. And then I got rosary beads on my arm

and I got a cross on my back. I'm fighting for the crusades for the good guys. Now, are we going to have to edit some stuff out of this? No way. Everything leaves on this thing.

We're just joking. Those were characters. Everybody knows. Everyone that listens, I will say this, almost every single person that's a fan of the show knows that

so much of this shit is us going extreme and fucking around it's hard it'd be hard to think that it's not because there are shows I gotta tell you

like sometimes like you do Rogan sometimes I do Joe's show and the fans take everything so literal sometimes because he's so very serious you know like he's delving out

real information meanwhile I'm running a fucking bit and even he's just like don't do the bit anymore cut the fucking he can feel it coming out of him where he's I'm running a fucking bit. And even he's just like, don't do the bit anymore. Cut the fucking, he can feel it coming out of him. Where he's like, stop doing the fucking bit. He does earnest interviews.

Oh, man. Yeah. I mean, he still has fun, but it's just, it's a different vibe. What was your first character that you ever did? The first one I ever did being a comedian was this guy, Y. Sean. Y. Sean? Y. Sean? It's up.

Don L. Rawlings was in it. We ended up shooting it, but I used to do it live with my old sketch group. But it was Y. Sean was like this white kid. And this was in it. We ended up shooting it, but I used to do it live with my old sketch group, but it was why Sean was like this white kid, and this is way back. 2005? Earlier than that. When I did it live, it was like 2002.

Wow. Right after 9-11. Yeah, right after 9-11. God bless. God bless you. God bless. So he's a white kid who grew up in an all-black neighborhood,

and it was based on, I used to have a pool route when I was in college. Me and my buddy would go clean pools. We were pool operators, and we'd go to like little neighborhoods in Maryland and went to school in college. Me and my buddy would go clean pools. We were pool operators and we'd go to like little neighborhoods

in Maryland and went to school in D.C. and Virginia and we went to this one area. It was an all black like area. This was the funny, I mean, it was all black.

All black pool in like one of those communities. So we're working with the pool and these kids come over and it's all these young black kids and they're like, yo man,

we'll smoke y'all. You know, we'll smoke y'all on basketball, man, we'll smoke y'all. And then this white kid come over, he's like, yeah man, we'll fucking smoke y'all you know he's like we'll smoke y'all in basketball man we'll smoke y'all and then this white kid come over he's like yeah man we fucking smoke y'all and i was like who's this fucking kid goes my name is white sean and i said what he said why sean and he was saying it fast he was saying white sean yeah it sounded like a black name because

he was saying why sean and they're like yeah man that's why sean all the black kids loved him and so it was based on him just Just the name was so funny. Why Sean? Why Sean? Can you say it real fast? Sound like why Sean? Yeah, it's me. It's why Sean.

Yeah. So that was the first one. But the biggest character, because I'm like dead inside, right? I just can't laugh. I don't know what it is. It's German. It's German. I'm German.

I'm so fucked up. They don't laugh at anything. No, you can't. But he does his character, Marisa. That's it. It's a Puerto Rican transgender, Puerto Rican from the Lower East Side of Manhattan. And it's just one of the things

I can't handle how funny it is. I watch it all the time and I just laugh because it's my family. It's my life. Where's she from? She's from actually the Lower East Side of New York City.

Oh, really? She's transgender. That means I'm third sexed. Oh. That's it. I'm trying to better my life. I'm trying to better myself. When did you switch?

I switched when I was little But I was a high school basketball player I was like all city Oh wow I was like yeah I played in five stars and all that shit Down the river Like he did

But he ended up playing division three That's nice Like he was cute Like you're cute and you're cute Thank you But I be wanting to you Because you got a house here Right

Plus a wife That's a little competition Right So I like that You do? I'm trying to move on up Yeah Where's your family now?

My family's still in the Lower East Side I'm still living with my mother My grandmother And my sister And my other grandmother Yeah You have a cousin too I got a cousin too

That's living there There's a full house in there And I'm trying to get out of here I'm trying to go to Westchester Where there's grass And I can get a little minivan And some greenery And I can drive in the Fuel and Vision minivan

And go to Whole Foods That's what I'm trying to do What do you do for a living? That's it I'm a sex worker Oh Yeah that's it I'm right now

I used to be on back pages That's where I used to be And then they took down back pages Now I'm a little more independent I got my own website Where are you What's your website? Because I'm becoming a little bit of a celebrity

Through YouTube Oh really? I've been doing those YouTube videos For a little while People seen that I was looking For someone to put me to watch Chesla And so now I got my own website So I be sucking little dick

I be doing little I just also do public appearances Oh you do That's right So if someone wants to get a hold of you What's your website? So you go to Marisa.sit.com

That's it Marisa.sit.com Marisa.sit.com You just go to there Oh that's it Or.org Or however you want to spell it Just go to that shit

And I'm there I got a conglomerate And all that shit I don't know if this is rude But what are the pricing levels For sex work like like i'm flexible but seriously like it's a you need to do about 250 roses if you want to get a blow job okay and then we're going up if you want to spend the night with me then we're talking about the thousands that's it thousands i do pictures and say i'm a little bit of a celebrity that's it in new york

city i'm everybody knows my shit there really i Miami, New York City A little bit of Los Angeles A little bit of San Francisco You can put me to any place there They know my shit Wow so you're famous I'm famous in those places How did you get famous? From doing these videos

On YouTube and shit The same way that Logan Paul blew up That's me Oh so you're like the Logan Paul I was the Logan Paul Trying to get that dick And go to Westchester

That's it That makes perfect sense I'm trying to get a house like this You got like a nice house With a little yard and all that With a little dog and that's it You be drinking that nice wine Like probably

You probably got some nice wine in there Right like that Yeah I do You do You got That's why I'm trying to get some cupcake wine That's what I like Oh you call it cupcake wine

JJ Redick JJ Redick is some That's the perfect Like he's hot to me Because he play He got the holy trinity That's what I like Dick ball and money

That's my holy trinity right there That's the holy trinity right there Because I used to play basketball I can't help it I love basketball I can't help that shit I love basketball That's how holy trinity right there. That's the holy trinity right there because I used to play basketball. I can't help it. I love basketball. I can't help that shit. I love basketball. Are you in a relationship

right now? Who's always good at basketball? Yeah, you are. Right now I'm still single trying to get to Westchester. That's what I'm trying to get. Right, you want to stay single. You're from Chicago

so you don't know. Westchester's like, that's like making it to Candyland. That's like Candyland. That's like heaven to you. That's like heaven up there. Right.

I want to see a deer. I want to maybe hit a deer They have a deer out there? They got deers everywhere Walking around like dogs and shit In backyards and shit like that That's what I'm trying to get to Wow okay

That's it I'm not trying to be in the projects In Alphabet City anymore Do you think You need to put me to out there Do you think that like Doing sex work Is going to get you out there?

It's a little bit You know Yeah It's a little bit That's the starting line for you That's the starting line right there And then I'm starting my business I got like also

I'm putting myself to a lot of I'm making candles I'm also making clothing And things like that I got a whole lot You make candles and clothes That's it I got a perfume

It's called Rigorous And I be selling that too So I got I'm putting up the website Making the video to Wow To promote it And then sell it

On these You know this The internet You could be doing a lot of shit Like you're doing this radio show Right here on the internet So I be selling my products On the internet too

Damn I'm selling chancletas too You are? That's right I'm selling chancletas too. You are? That's right. I'm selling chancletas. You really are. I am. That's it.

You're leveled up. I'm leveled up. I go to the mall and I steal a bunch of them shits in the buckets from those chinas. They be selling them and then I be stealing them shits

and then I got different colors. Sometimes I mix them up. One red, one pink like Punky Brewster. I don't care. Oh, right. Yeah, I mix them shits up and then people like to buy it

because I sign them shits I gave his mother-in-law A signed ass tray She liked that shit She liked it She really did like it She did like it huh She loved it

They're big fans of her Can I ask you a rude question It might be We're stepping on my boundaries I'm opening up from New York City That's how we do it When you went through surgery Did you go all the way

I didn't go through I still got my shit You still have your dick and balls I like it like that Yeah pay me like your French girls Jack Right Just leave the dick. That's it.

I'm not saying that. I'm third sexed. You know what I'm saying? That's my gender. Right. Jesus makes mistakes. He meant I was born a boy, but deep down, I'm really a girl. That's it.

So I'm third sexed. So will you sleep with men and women? No. I don't fuck with that calamari. You crazy? I don't know. I didn't know what you like. What the fuck is that shit?

I'm not trying to see your little halo. That's not what I'm into. I like that dick. I need to see some dick. That's it know what you like. What the fuck is that shit? I'm not trying to see your little halo. That's not what I'm into. I like that dick. I need to see some dick. That's it. Baseball, bass, sausages, all that shit. You from Chicago. That's what I like.

Sausages. Show me that Polish sausage. Do you care about race? Who's your favorite race? I don't care. I care about money. That's the color I'm into. Green.

That's it. The American dream, green, and that's it. See the psychosis right now? God, it's... It's kind of funny, but it's likeosis you know what it's not real me it's kind of funny but it's like you know but a part of it

deep down is you that's the problem when you start doing characters this is a character Giannis Papas is a character what you just heard is real

if you notice he's going because he normally has a wig on and he's flicking the wig but he doesn't have the wig on yeah you do the wig I can see you doing

with the hair yeah it's just what makes me laugh harder because when he says like little he doesn't say you know I'm going to Westchester you say he puts me to Westchester he puts me he knows about Puerto Rica yeah man so that that's all it is love that character they love they're fucking hot

that shit is fucking that's so wonderful man but you've carved it out so much good so specific it is did you grow up with someone that you knew that you based it on? Well, it's based on- My baby mama? Growing up in New York. Part of you. It's like I dated so many Puerto Rican girls. One of the first girls I was in love with was Puerto Rican.

It was Darragh City in New York. And it's like, yeah, the Puerto Ricans just abounded. It's part of the- What would you say? Italian, Jewish, black, Puerto Rican. It's like, that's New York. Yeah. And Chicago is black, white, Puerto Rican. Puerto Rican Is like that's New York Yeah And Chicago is

Black White Puerto Rican Right Yeah And that's it Yeah Yeah

I mean There is other things But that's really And Puerto Rican You got It's a big Puerto Rican But not a lot Polish actually

There's a lot of Polish too But I put them with whites Right Yeah But is there like a Puerto Rican neighborhood In Chicago Fuck yeah

Not only that Dude the Puerto Rican day parade In Chicago Is fucking insane. It's insane. And I mean like the city shuts down. It's absurd how big and chaotic it is. Puerto Ricans and fucking,

I mean, I think there's more Polish than anything else. There's more Polish people in Chicago than in Warsaw, Poland. Really? Yeah, it's insane. And it took it over years ago. Yeah, man,

the Polish population there is weird. Because it's part of our, we love the fiestas. Yeah. It's part of our culture. And the Puerto Ricans are fun as shit. They're also rowdy. They love to fight.

They love to cause trouble. Fuck. They love to fuck. Yeah, man. That's right. And now you're half Puerto Rican. I got a half Puerto Rican. Yeah, my mom's half Puerto Rican.

Now, just by osmosis, you're half Puerto Rican now. Oh, I am half Puerto Rican, yeah. Well, he grew up, his aunt, like his aunt, we say, he grew up in a house where his mom and his aunt lived on the first floor and the second floor. We lived on the second floor. Oh, so you are Puerto Rican. His mom was – Me and my mother lived on the second floor and my aunt and her Puerto Rican family lived on the first floor.

Puerto Rican husband. So his uncle was Puerto Rican, Uncle Victor. Uncle Victor. And we say the staircases because it was like upstairs was very white and downstairs was more Caribbean. And the staircase in the middle was the neutral staircase. Neutral staircase. Right. That was neutral waters. Right. That was neutral water.

That's where you would sit and have meetings and stuff. And my mother, I still to this day, she's just a little mad that my aunt brought a Puerto Rican to the house. Still?

Still? Can't get over it? No, no, no. I'm kidding. But she definitely blames her for when my... You say you're kidding, but it's real, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny. I'm just kidding. Puerto Rican is just part of his family. It's part of my culture. Yeah, I love Puerto Ricans. I love everything about them. Were you always attracted to Puerto Rican girls?

Yes. I always was because I was, I think the reason why, I always was attracted to them. My first crush I had when I was in kindergarten, a beautiful Puerto Rican girl. But my cousin, who was half Puerto Ricanican all her friends are puerto rican and she lived downstairs and like when we were like 15 16 years old i was like their white little fetish yeah feel for a white guy it's like all my first sexual experiences were with these puerto

rican girls so your first was with a puerto rican girl my first was with a half black half white girl but the first like first time i had sexual intercourse but the first time I got a blowie besides when I you know I got molested was besides Father Bill was by a Puerto Rican girl yeah you ever do Puerto Rican

you ever been to Puerto Rican no no Puerto Rican but I fell in love with the first girl I loved was Brown the first girl I ever like had a big crush on was Brown

Indian or like no Brown she was Mexican Mexican nice yeah but I mean just like non-white I remember the first time like so vividly

it was so weird I was with my dad and I was at like a... He said, son, don't do that again. Yeah, he said, niet, niet. No, you know what? We were like an OTB or something like that. Like my grandfather worked at the dog track. My grandfather retired, and then got a job working at the horse track,

and then at the dog track. Nice. Yeah, no, degenerate. Couldn't get away from gambling. Still gambles. He lost the house like six times yeah good friends got good friends named joe the hat you know when you're a kid i didn't know my grandfather's family was like i remember grandfather's friends were like in the mob yeah and i was like oh joe the hat's not a that's his that's how that's the name he is to me yeah that's who i i just thought that was like a normal yeah

show that murderer yeah so he but uh but yeah i was at otb or something like that with my dad and i'll never forget there was a girl i was probably 12 maybe 11 or something there was this there was this mexican chick who might have been 14 15 and it was like time stopped she was the the most beautiful thing i've ever seen in my entire life and at that moment i realized that's all men have this experience and you go i don't know what it is but i like it whatever that is right i don't know what it is yeah i need it i want it and you're going that's it because before that when you're a young boy you're like girls ah fucking they're gross they're weird they're whatever but there's a moment as a young boy when you go what is that i need i want it i don't know what it is i don't

know what to do with it if i had it but i have to have it yes we realize you were a straight kid that's yeah it's so weird it's like the moment kicked in of like i don't know what it is but i like that thing and you're 100 sure you're straight that unfortunately's yeah it's so weird it's like the moment kicked in of like i don't know what it is but i like that thing you're 100 sure you're straight that unfortunately yeah yeah unfortunately even still even still yeah even still he's a cash judge now yeah yeah he knows he's got a partner i mean that's what i think like you who's in the closet now like it's like people people in bible belt country i guess bible yeah you live down in mississippi you're not telling anybody that you're sucking dick no fucking way but it is true for the most part when i still go to small towns and i meet kids that are like uh you know you can just tell you know that are just like why are you here get you got to get out of here go to a place where no

one's going to talk shit about you doing it you know what i mean like i think that's the fear is like they can't leave town because that's where they're from but man you wish everyone that wanted to be what they wanted to be you're like i wish they gave you a free ride to a big city right so you could just do it and no one would say shit yeah that's the big well that's the scare is they can't leave all their friends and family are

there they can't fucking go anywhere right you know like you should we should do a thing a program sponsor effect we should get to the city yeah sponsor the sponsor effect and then we'll

sponsor podcast we can't edit that sorry it doesn't matter positive thing I'm saying we're sponsored from yeah yeah yeah yeah so he could come to the big city we're like we don't care

because we had a positive and a negative he's no but i'm saying i support the gays i love the gays yeah so it's like you know and this is a sponsor program it's like if they're in a small town you just come in here and it's a sponsor fag program when you when you you know what's so funny you know what's great about that not one of my fans who is gay will be mad at you because i love gays i I'm fucking gay. I'm in the closet. I'm pushing it down. You're not in the closet.

Anybody who saw the first episode that we did together and got a little drunk, you got real gay on me. It was like three clips. One of them, you're like, yeah, so if I get a clarity, I'll suck a dick. Another clip was like, Gino, you're a hot kid. I want to sit on your face. You were going off. Imagine me sitting on your face. That nightmare.

Not with that tush. Not with that tush. Brutal. You got to be a little bit more thin with that tush. Not with that tush. Brutal. You got to be a little bit more thin for that for me. I couldn't do that. By the way, my guy, what would your guy be if you were gay? What kind of guy would you be? Who's the famous guy that you'd get with if you were gay?

I know you know. Relax. You mean straight guy? Any guy in Hollywood. If you were gay, who's the guy that you would go with? Ethan Hawke. Ethan Hawke. What a pick, by the way.

Because he's so good at what he is, right? Yeah. He's confident, but he's not like a typical hot guy. He's not like stereotypical phony hot guy. Right. That's good. You were going to go with someone, a typical hot guy. He just likes to piece his ass.

I don't know. I want to have a conversation. You're like Bradley Cooper or some shit. I don't know. I'll tell you who my two guys are. Who is it? For different reasons. He knows the first one.

It's obvious choice, Tom Hardy. Dude, you're like my old bag. You're like her. She loves that shit She wants to fuck him so bad He's a squeak too That kid's a squeak Yeah he's a squeak

He is tiny He's like 5'4 Intellectual guy I'd like Ahmad Rashad That's so good Why Ahmad Rashad Ahmad Rashad And Tom Hardy

You gotta have a diverse pick It's 2020 Yeah Who's your guy be That's good Ahmad Rashad is really good That threw me for a You've got to have a diverse pick. It's 2020. Yeah. Who's your guy be? Ahmad Rashad is really good. That threw me for a loop. I thought you were going to say in the Hollywood line.

He loves sports. He's a handsome, handsome man. Looks like he smells great. And he's got a little loop earring I like. But he's on the runway now. Isn't he old? No, he's 56. He's got to be 60. 60, yeah.

60 pop. He'll get cracked open. Ahmad Rashad will get cracked open. He'll get smashed into pieces, huh? What about you? You look like a Ben Affleck type of guy. No, I don't like guys like that. I don't like that. No, no, no. 60 pop he'll get cracked open Marvishow will get cracked open he'll get smashed into pieces so who's yours Andrew Ben Affleck type of guy no I don't like guys like that I don't like that

no no no he looks like a guy that didn't work that hard but it happened for him you know like like a JFK who do you like I like secret

I like secret success guys guys who are like that like we all kind of I like guys that everybody loves but I bet you they're freaks you know like

what's his Jason Jason Bateman? Yeah. Good pick. Jay Bateman. I love it. Quiet. Talented. Talented, quiet, doesn't bug anybody, doesn't bother people.

Comedy and drama. Yeah. He's a switch hitter in our business. Yeah. I like him a lot. He's a cute guy I know would fuck the shit out of me. Oh, so you want to get fucked? By him?

Yeah, for sure. Just because he's a cute boy. No, with Jason Bateman, you got to take it. You got to take it. You got to take it, yeah. Because he's not, I'm bigger than him for sure just because he's a cute piece of boy with Jason Bateman you gotta take it you gotta take it cause he's not I'm bigger than him for sure but he's not

it's just I know he's got a little little rabid energy he's got a good little tiny load of the ground it's a respect thing it is a respect thing it's Jason Bateman

Jason Bateman Ahmad Rashad might have been the pick of the fucking day though I love him in Teen Wolf yeah loved yeah

you know what I was thinking when you did that to sponsor a homosexual sponsor a homosexual yeah I was thinking of the movie like Usual Sus homosexual? Sponsor a homosexual. Yeah. I was thinking of the movie Usual Suspects, you know, with Virgil.

You know, he's walking like the gimp. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, with Sponsor Homosexual, he's just walking like a straight guy in his... And then he gets to Los Angeles and slowly just lets himself out. Yeah. That's basically... I'm here. I'm here. Yeah.

We could do that program. Guys, if you want to donate to the program please donate sponsor a gay would have been fine sponsor a gay get a gay to the city get a gay to the city get a gay to the city

get a gay to the city is a great I'll be your gay way to the city I'll be your gay way I'll be your gay way to the city you come in

you stay with me for a month we get you acclimated to the new city we show you that in these big cities homosexuality is very it's very appreciated supported it's supportive promoted endorsed so come you stay by me you stay for a month fuck yeah stay by me for a month you know i tie you up a little bit to the radio do what i need to do to you sexually and then we and then you come out

there yeah yeah okay so how do we get on the program do we need to email you what's your email well you know what we're gonna put your good thing going until somebody got tied to a fucking radio yeah yeah you had to make it but it's torture is not part of the program no it's a gay white yeah no sponsor a gay sponsor a gay today we'll sponsor gay and um and yeah they can email me at uh chris.destefano519 at gmail.com okay for all your uh you know chrissy gay ways and just put in the subject gay way and i'll tell you how to get started dude you know it's great i'm gonna link your email in the description below so people can actually email you this year.

It's right here. Are you guys touring a little bit? What's going on with dates? You want to tell people where you're going to be? Go ahead. Where are you guys going to be? First, I'll say I got a special on YouTube called- Watch that shit.

Thank you. Please. It's called Blowing the Light on YouTube. Go check it out. In February, you can catch me at Gotham Comedy Club, February 21st and 22nd. And then Uncle Vinny's February 27th and 28th He's scratching his nuts and sniffing his nuts And we'll link your website in the description

You gotta see this motherfucker He's funnier than Chris Chris, go ahead 100% ChrisDComedy.com January 25th, Celebrity Theater, Atlantic City February 8th, the Kennedy Center, Washington D.C. February 29th and 30th, Hilarious in Cleveland.

Cleveland, baby. Also April 18th, Victoria Theater, Newark, New Jersey. So come out. A lot of shows. Please come. I like men. And listen to History Hyenas. Listen to Hyenas.

Yeah, that's a great podcast. I did their podcast when I was in New York, and I had a great fucking time. You guys were awesome. Except for some of the people that were there. Some of the crew that was there. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I had a great fucking time.

You guys were awesome. Especially for some of the people that were there, some of the crew that was there. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. We did a thing. We did a poll. Who was our fan's favorite guest for 2019?

My boys. Well, thank you guys. I appreciate it. We'll link for you guys to go check out all their shit. I'm going to walk away from the camera right now, and you both have to leave. When I get off, you have to end the episode with either a word or a phrase directly in the camera. So go ahead and do it. Got one by one yeah um just a word of uh trump 2020

that's it in here we pour whiskey you are that creature in the ginger beer sturdy ginger like vampires the ginger gene is a curse Ginger. I like gingers.