Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Ian Edwards
Episode Date: July 12, 2019Santino sits down with standup comic Ian Edwards to talk about his new Comedy Central special airing JULY 12TH at MIDNIGHT and also about Miracle Fruit and the new class of decedents of hipsters and l...earning to no longer pay attention to other peoples thoughts of how you should live. SEE ME LIVE!!! LEXINGTON, KY JUL 11-13 SACRAMENTO, CA JUL 18-20 MONTREAL JUST FOR LAUGHS JUL 24-27 ST. LOUIS, MO AUG 1-3 TICKETS AT http://www.andrewsantino.com FOLLOW ME ON INSTA https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ FOLLOW WHISKEY GINGER PODCAST ON INSTA https://instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast?igshid=mztm4g3wy0gq FOLLOW IAN ON INSTA: https://www.instagram.com/ianedwardscomic/?hl=en For more info on the WHISKEY GINGER SIGN please check out the dope art of https://www.instagram.com/starlingear/?hl=ent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? If you want to come see the Red Rocket live, check me out.
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Sactown at the Punchline. That is 18, 19, 20. Then the next week, the 23rd, 24th, 25th,
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andrewsantino.com. Enjoy the episode.
In here
we pour whiskey, whiskey,
whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.
You're that creature in the ginger
beard. Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene
is a curse. Gingers are beautiful.
You owe me $5 for the whiskey
and $75 for the whore. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the whore.
Gingers are hell no.
This whiskey is excellent.
Ginger.
I like gingers.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger.
My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth.
I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today, Ian Edwards.
Ian.
What's up, y'all?
Do I look at you or them?
You can look at either one.
It doesn't really matter.
All right.
They don't really care. Wherever you want to look. Where do you want to look? I'll just look at you or them? You can look at either one. It doesn't really matter. All right. They don't really care.
Wherever you want to look.
Where do you want to look?
I'll just look at you.
You look at me?
Yeah.
It would be weird to be like, good question.
And then looking at the camera.
It'll be like a, what's that show?
What's that late night show where they set him up with the prompts where he's like, oh,
you've been to?
Byron Allen.
Byron Allen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But then you perform your answer.
Yeah, out to the audience.
To the audience.
Have you done that show?
Yeah.
Did you like it?
I mean, it felt dirty sometimes.
But, because I did it, and then one time I did it and Dick Gregory was on it.
That was good to be on a panel with Dick Gregory.
Yeah.
But then you just, as a comic, creatively, you wrote the material, but you just feel
phony delivering it that way
does it feel like um well like what you've done conan how many times like four times okay so every
time you do late night spot do you then also feel dirty when you do late night spots or do you feel
much better about that you're doing i always tell myself in my head i'm doing a set yeah you know
what i mean so i'm just like i'm doing a set this is a club set but with some maybe some different rules and that's but i still try to keep like
the club edge to it yeah this was just like you just you're too behind the scenes you know
this is not a real conversation i'm faking a conversation yeah yeah if it just everything
is contrived about the whole thing yeah it does feel
it feels so forced
even when someone I know
is doing their best
to not make it forced
it still feels so forced
yeah
cause like
you're gonna answer a question
by standing up
and animating
this whole airplane bit
it's like
that just looks
you guys ever been to Sacramento
and stands up
so you went to Sacramento
and I'm not shitting on Baronelle
I think he's a smart guy. It just
feels weird.
I don't think it's his fault more than, I think
truthfully,
it turned out that way. I don't think the initial
intention of the show was to be that way. I think it just naturally
progressed to being this thing where it's like,
well, you have to give somebody a setup because I'm sure people went
on the show without any material and they bombed.
And they learned that lesson that he was like, well,
just give me the material and we'll set you up yeah i mean it's basically
like baron allen like looks at the what i do like about he finds the loophole in things yeah
like the the interview show that he did with like for movies like those are press junkets so he gets
all that footage for free and made a tv show out of it yeah
and that was the start of his empire like like so many people and have interviewed actors for shows
for movies that's coming out i press junkets for decades and nobody's thought i record these
and just turn it into a tv show, I could be a billionaire.
Nobody thought that shit.
No, except for him.
Yeah.
And somebody told me, people that don't know Byron Allen, he does a show.
It's late night.
It's a localized show.
It's not, I think it's on.
It's on a lot of different.
But it's NBC.
Is it NBC?
I don't know.
I don't know what network runs it.
But anyway, he does a late night show.
He also bought the Weather Channel.
Yeah, like when you got Weather Channel money, you know what I'm saying?
Owns the fucking weather?
Yeah.
He could tell us anything.
He could tell us anything.
He's like, it's going to be nice forever.
Global warming is fake.
And we'd be like, I guess he owns the Weather Channel.
I can't not believe that.
He's got to have some strategic move over why he did that.
When people are like, why would a comedian buy the Weather Channel? Yeah, I have no idea why he did that When people are like Why would a comedian Buy the Michael Chan
Yeah I have no idea
Why he did that
Well that's some politics
Or something
He's been smart so far
Yeah
So I don't doubt it
Somebody told me
He garnered a lot of his fortune
From licensing contract
Licensing deals
Like he would buy
I don't even know
What that means
Stand up albums
Right
And he would license them
To places
That makes sense
Sounds like some shit
He would do
Yeah some smart smart businessman shit.
Like Michael Jackson bought the Beatles, right?
And he did a licensing contract.
Yeah, it's genius.
That's where the real money was.
Apparently he used to open for,
oh, Byron used to open for somebody huge.
A singer?
Huh?
A singer?
No, no, no.
It was a comic,
but then he ascended way higher than that guy.
And then that comic's just, you know, I don't know.
He probably used to open up for a lot of people.
He started doing comedy before he was drinking age.
Yeah.
His mom had to take him to the comedy store.
And you can't even do it anymore now.
They don't even let you in unless you're 21.
Yeah.
But you used to be able to do that.
When did you start?
How old were you when you started?
In the 20s, early 20s.
Yeah, I mean, until I was 22 when I started that whole thing.
But you started in New York, right? Yeah, I started in New York. Do you miss New York?
Like, I miss New York in the summertime. The summertime is dope. Yeah. And nothing like,
you just, you could just go to the city and not have shit to do. And you're like,
in the thick of it and you can be entertained all day. You can find shit to do. You can find
shit to do. New York is the only place that I've ever felt like
if you were bored there, you should just kill yourself.
Yeah, it's like me and Eric was there like last summer.
And, you know, Eric's a little on the overweight side.
He is?
He knows that.
But like he was there for a few days and we met up.
And he's like, man, you have to work to be fat in this city
because I've done so much walking.
Everybody, like if you're fat in New York City, first of all, you have to walk. Yeah fat in this city because i've done so much walking everybody like if you're fat in new york city first of all you have to walk yeah you don't have a choice yeah
if you check your step monitor you're gonna like break your record every single time every single
day and then people are still overweight like you he's like you gotta work hard and i was like yeah
because all i've been doing is just walking to this fucking city i find that the funny thing is
they have a lot of shit like new york has a lot of junk food or places to eat junk food.
You know, you got like a hot dog on the street, carts, pizza, falafel, like all sorts of bullshit that you can grab fast.
But I always find that like I don't eat sloppy when I'm in New York because you're always on the run.
Right?
You know what I mean?
Oh, so you don't have time to eat fast food.
You just don't.
Yeah, you just don't have time to even eat fast food because you're like always doing some shit
right and which is funny because in a place where like la is like overtly conscious over the food
that they're putting out and most it's harder to get fast food in la than almost anywhere else i
feel like they really try to corner them away from areas unless it's i think it's just as
easy but it's also just as easy to get healthy healthier food right that's what i mean yeah
it's so convenient to get something nice to eat but i feel like i have the temptation to eat shitty
food here so much easier because you have so much time and i'm in my car anyway and in new york it's
like i just don't even think about it you're like yeah i'm not gonna grab a hot dog on the move
because i have something else to do where to go new york's a
treadmill yeah you walk out the house and you're on a fucking treadmill right someone said to me
it's like um the the worst part about new york though is that there's no off switch that like
in la there's a there's an off switch you can you can you can not live in the city
at 5 a.m in the morning everything kind of kind of shuts down. For like one fucking hour.
For one hour.
Yeah, yeah.
And then it starts back up again.
What is this person talking about?
Jesus.
Yeah.
One hour is enough to recoup.
One hour is enough.
That's all we need, baby.
Where did you shoot your special?
Ian has a special coming out, by the way.
Oh, yeah.
It airs on the 12th on Comedy Central.
Yeah.
At what time?
At midnight, which is really the 13th.
Yeah.
But it's July 12th. Yeah, that's how they're promoting it. Slash 13th. July is really the 13th. Yeah. But it's July 12th.
Yeah, that's how they're promoting it.
July 12th slash 13th.
July 12th slash 13th.
Uncensored.
Uncensored.
And then after it airs on Comedy Central, it'll be on the app.
Then I won't be talking to you or anybody else.
That'll be the end of it.
I'm just too big.
I may talk to Rogan.
You'll be so famous.
So famous.
And Burr is producing it?
Or tell me Burr's involvement in the whole thing.
So it's a Bill Burr's Presents, Ian Talk, and him and All Things Comedy.
They are a podcast network of a bunch of comics, and they had a three special deal, and one
of the specials, Jessica Kerrison.
Super funny.
And Paul Versey.
Oh, right, right, right. He was thei is oh right right he was the first one right
the first one yeah right so it goes paul you her yeah great yeah that's great and they touched all
the bases white dude black dude girl girl perfect lesbian a lesbian too yeah yeah damn man she might
she's gonna blow up more than you are for sure oh yes fuck i gotta do something yeah you gotta do
something you have to i was gonna say if I do another special which I don't know
if I'll ever do another one
but
why not
I didn't even like
the first one that much
I don't like recording things
permanently for some reason
oh yeah
I don't know
I love live comedy
do you ever do the same set
not really
yeah I don't think so
you've seen me enough
yeah I'm like
this guy's always
when you go on stage
right
do you
first of all
do you write
yeah
yeah I do
but I
but I but I when I go to the store especially I love to write on stage right do you first of all do you write yeah yeah i do but i but i but i love when i go to the
store especially i love to write on stage right like i'll get a chunk of premises together or get
a couple of tags and i'll just keep i maneuver them throughout the week until i leave for the
weekend i go somewhere and then i get to do it in flush when i leave you know unless i'm in the
main room then i try to really do a material as much as i can right but i don't know i just for
me to keep it engaging to me I like to change it so much.
Right.
See, you would hate Comics Unleashed.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God, I would bomb so bad on that show.
Yeah, because every night I see you, I'm like, you just, it's like you're just riffing through shit.
Yeah, I'm trying to get through new shit.
Well, because I just feel like.
But it comes off well for you.
Like, people really like you, that style for you.
You know what I'm saying?
I think it works for the way I present comedy, especially because I just got, I used to get
so bored of telling jokes that were like tried jokes.
Right.
It just made me, it bothered me a little bit.
It got me depressed, really.
I would leave the club and be like, I didn't like it.
Right.
Just because something felt off about the way I presented it where I sounded like
I felt like I sounded phony
right right
but that was all on me
yeah
it'll feel
yeah but
it also drives you
to do comedy
the way you do it
which is different
than everybody else
or whatever makes you
unique
right
well it's kind of like
like your
you know
your rhythm
of the way you do comedy
which is funny because I'll say this I should just backtrack a little bit Well, it's kind of like your rhythm of the way you do comedy,
which is funny because I'll say this.
I should just backtrack a little bit.
I was a fan before we even met.
I loved your shit.
And we met on, yeah, see?
See, there you go.
And we met on. See, that's when you throw the camera.
Right.
You throw one of these like, see?
Who's in the hot seat now?
We met when we did, and I've talked about this before,
when we did a pilot
for Comedy Central,
quote unquote,
for this guy named Al Shear.
And I've talked to Rogan about it.
Yeah, Hits From The Streets.
If anybody doesn't know who that is,
look up Hits From The Streets on BET.
He had a show for like,
I don't know,
maybe seven years or something like that.
Yeah, he had it for a while.
He was huge from that show.
But this is how separated Americaica is he was huge on hits
from the street which is bt a black network yeah and then he gets hired to work on punked right
and he's like tricking celebrities who had no idea who he was no idea because that's how separate
everything was back right well he said al would say that a couple of black celebrities were keen
to him right yeah exactly but, exactly. But very rarely.
Even still, they would be like,
who is it?
I think I've seen this dude before,
but I don't know.
But he couldn't be this cop
who's telling me I'm arrested.
Right, right, right.
They can't be the same guy.
Which is funny because
I just had a conversation
with Rogan about this whole thing
about how like,
there are very,
because he's fallen in love
with Miss Pat recently who rogan
yeah yeah she's got an amazing fucking crazy story i know yeah and and and it's funny how like
a lot of people who are comedy fans don't know there are there are supremely famous black
comedians in the in the world of black comedy that white audiences have no fucking idea who they are
yeah and they may never know they may know you know what i mean but like we were having this long conversation about it because i he was
in so many words was like i think they're bigger than you think i was like i think they're not
like i think i think if i went around and asked a million comedy fans who d ray davis is around
the country they probably wouldn't know yeah they might not know you know what i mean like they
might not know they might not know but in black community, it's like so prevalent.
Certain names are just, they're just embedded.
They're like, yeah.
Yeah, you know who the fuck that is.
I've seen him a million times.
How dare you ask me who that person is.
Like there's something about that that's like, that'll never be, if there's a white comic who's famous as a comedian, they're usually known somewhat across the board.
But a lot of-
Some black people might not know him. That's what I mean. As a comedian, they're usually known somewhat across the board, but a lot of...
Some black people might not know them.
That's what I mean.
But there's less crossover from the other way for some reason.
From white to black?
Well, there's less from black to white.
Yeah, probably.
Most white audiences just know what they know from the most publicized version of comedy.
But comedy is changing.
Well, there's still that.
changing well now there's still that but there is like the new young group of black comics like hannibal burris or the oh shit why am i blanking on the brothers the twin lucas brothers lucas
brothers but there's even younger than them that's more that's even more popularized now
like who he's younger than those dudes but yeah hannibal's not exactly young he's not old there's
not there's a lot like he's been around. I mean, Comedy Central pumps out. I feel like every time I fucking open up their page, there's a new young-
You go on the Comedy Central page?
Everybody should, especially on the 12th.
On the 12th, yeah.
And watch that bitch on the 12th.
I need to go on there more.
No, I do their Instagram page, I guess I should say.
But Instagram, like there's a kid named Jaboukie Young White that people love.
I know Jaboukie.
Okay, so that's what I'm talking about.
That generation of very young, that is a Jack Knight's very young.
Yeah, Jack Knight's young.
So there's that class of young black comedians who I think are more popularized to both audiences.
Even though, you know, there's a lot of people.
But I think they're popularized probably to not even a black audience.
But, you know, how do you describe this generation?
It's like the youngest millennials, if they are even millennials, that like kind of mix a lot with each other racially.
Right.
It's kind of this homogenous group of like culture and class.
Like descendants of hipsters and shit like that.
The descendants of hipsters. shit right right right the descendants of
hipsters right that will be that is whatever that new class is whatever they're gonna be right
because hipsterism is kind of nobody's saying it i guess it's kind of it's it's not young anymore
no it's so so whatever's after that it's them yeah whatever this new age um which is whatever whatever hipsters fuck themselves into
yeah you know that's what they are that's what they are which is funny because that they're
the irony of that generation is like they hate like they hate class they hate classes and they
hate labeling you know they want everyone to kind of have this like universal right you know this
universal peace and truth and we're all kind of living free.
Which you sound like you hate.
Yeah, I hate.
You know I fucking hate.
But all they do is label shit.
So they don't, like, it's funny to say, like,
there's more and more groups created now than ever.
It's hypocritical.
It's so hypocritical.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, like.
I see what they're trying to do.
Sure.
But everybody's still pretentious.
Yes.
Everybody's like, nah, this is cool but yeah there's
there's there's some pretension to it for sure there's so much to me like if when you when you
say i'm i'm that gender you know when my gender is uh ambiguous or you know like i don't assign
to all these old labels and yet they just create new labels and new names well that's a label
that's what's so fucking funny i don't have a label is a label.
Right.
It's the same way.
That's your label.
Yeah, you're label-less.
That's your label.
You're in this new group now.
Which I think is, I get it.
I get why youth does that.
But they're fighting this weird war sometimes.
Like, I also think it's what incites a lot of bullshit to happen and people to hate each other for no fucking reason.
Like this Antifa shit that happened.
Antifa?
Yeah, you know the shit?
And they beat up this dude, Andy Gno,
or whatever his name is.
No, what happened?
I don't know.
He's a gay right-wing journalist.
And he went to one of these Antifa rallies.
And he threw a milkshake at his face
and they punched him and shit.
I'm going to sound really ignorant.
What's an Antifa rally?
Because I've definitely cut off the news on purpose.
So you're totally out of all this bullshit.
You're telling
me a narrative
of the world
and that's not a true narrative of
the world. I don't want your narrative
any longer. I want to have a
good ass day.
You don't want to hear the bullshit anymore.
I cut all the bullshit out and I miss
out on some things.
And it's good, you know, but also bad because I could have some, I'm looking for newer material now.
So I might have to turn the news back on.
You have to.
But, you know.
Look, I look at it like this.
But that's my excuse.
Antifa means anti-fascism.
So it's like, it's a group of kind of, they look like militarized liberals.
It's a very, it's a weird, it's very odd.
Tougher liberals.
Yeah, they just like, they fist fight people.
Like, they're down to fight.
Because they're like, we're not like these pussy liberals.
Yeah, we'll swing.
We gangsta liberals.
Yeah, we'll swing.
Yeah.
It's interesting to watch.
But that's, my perspective is more like, I just love watching it because I'm fascinated
by, I'm fascinated by these people that really want to get up,
get out, and do something because I'm not like that.
Yeah, I mean, I admire those people.
Yeah, because from 10,000 feet, I just kind of like watching it all go down.
I say, go ahead, march, man.
Right, and I just get to go sit by my pool and hang out.
Yeah, yeah.
So life is kind of good.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
I don't mind watching it because I'm like, I'm still okay.
I don't really involve myself in it.
I'm rooting for them.
Yeah, sure, go for it. If they're trying to do something it. I'm rooting for him. Yeah, sure, go for it.
If they're trying to do something good,
I'm rooting for you.
Do your thing, go for it.
I don't think you should kick people
in the fucking face
and throw milkshakes at them,
but you know,
shit happens, I guess.
I protest at night
through my material on stage.
Yeah, that's right.
Where people are kind of,
they have to,
for the most part,
accept what I'm saying
even if it's counter
to their ideology.
Intuitive to their ideology, yeah.
Well, dude, I've had people come up to me and say,
and you do this a lot.
This is something we do have in common.
You will often and I will often take a stance
or an approach on a subject where you're very well aware
that a good portion of that audience may be perturbed by it
or they may be like, no, I don't like that.
But you know that your spin is good enough.
It's still going to land. You do that a lot lot i try to do that as much as i can there's a handful
of comics who really go out of their way to be like this is why this thing is ridiculous i know
i know why people feel certain ways right but it's also some things like did comedy central
um did you remove any jokes from being in the special that you that they were worried about
no not really they were good like special that they were worried about?
No, not really.
They were good like that?
Yeah, they were good like that.
Because sometimes they made me remove something
when I did a half hour
with them years ago
and I was mad.
I was like,
I should have been able
to leave that fucking joke.
But I think they're probably
becoming more conscious
of like,
you have to let people say
whatever the fuck
they're going to say.
You're going to get
in a weird place
if we start editing comedy.
And I think Burr's involved
so it's like,
you know, it's funny, I just put in a call yeah you know say hey man they won't take this joke out there was one joke we took out but it's because i did it
on a another comedy central show when i did like a 11 minute set what was like a pant uh no on a
new negro oh the new negros oh right right right right so they, you just did that. And I actually wore the same fucking outfit.
Shut up.
I didn't know.
From your special?
From the special.
On the New Negroes?
I wore it on New Negroes first.
And then the special was shot.
New Negroes was shot like in April.
And then the special came up.
And you're just trying to get the special together.
Right.
And then they're like, hey, man, the special's tomorrow.
What you going to wear?
And I was like, I got this outfit.
And you forget when you've worn.
And then when New Negroes came out like a few weeks ago.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh, shit, that's the same outfit.
Same shit.
Was it a shirt and a jacket or something?
It's like a sweater with holes, with fancy holes in it.
Fancy hole sweater.
It's a ripped sweater.
I don't wear ripped jeans.
I wear ripped sweaters.
My top can be ruined.
My bottom has to stay right.
The bottom has to be intact.
You're not seeing any leg.
No thigh.
That's so funny why, like, I have an expensive ripped sweater.
Yeah.
And it's so silly.
But I really like it.
I got two of them.
One apparently is on two TV shows and the other one I've never worn.
One's neglected when it should have been used.
So when you,
that is another,
that's one thing I do want to say to people and fans that like,
I think people don't,
people think like you show up to a thing and it's like,
they probably give you like fancy clothes and fancy shoes.
And they don't,
it's like people don't realize TV.
Most of the time you show the fuck up in what you're wearing.
Then they're like,
you're good to go.
Yeah.
Unless,
unless you have labels everywhere.
Yeah. And they're like, you have to get you out of that yeah but for the most part like hollywood does a thing to you like them okay here's a here's another good example and you
know this very well like when you maybe let's see no when you do conan i'm saying when you do a tv
set yeah when you when you're when it's over and you're leaving you're just like a human again
you feel so like yeah yeah i'm just gonna head home Cause you had a green room
Right
You had people asking you
If you needed anything
Right
There's a massage chair
It's a whole
Kind of like a nice
Party
For the four guests
That are on the show
Right
You feel a little special
And then you get off the lot
And you're like
Oh well
I'm just gonna drive back
To my fucking house I guess
Go back to my apartment
And shit
Like did you
Did you drive yourself when you do Conan?
Or do you have them send a car?
I think I drive.
See, I always have driven to anything I've ever done.
And I like it because it does take me back down to earth real fucking fast.
When you get back in your car and you're leaving the lot,
especially when a lot, like, asks for your pass back,
then I'm just like, God damn, yeah, get the fuck out of here.
You didn't have to snatch it, bro. Yeah, man. Oh, man. He's like, yes, I did, and don't come back today. lot like asks for your past bat back then i'm just like god damn yeah get the fuck out you have
to snatch it bro yeah man he's like yes i did and don't come back today yeah there's something about
that that there's something about that the the business will humble you so fast and it does in
greater scales but that's a very small intricate window of like like when you're done shooting
your special what did you feel like the moment you were done shooting? Just relief. Yeah, like you were... Because it's been like overdue and we complicated it with the TED Talk aspect of it.
And then...
You have to explain that for people that don't know.
So, basically, I'm somebody that would never be given a TED Talk, right?
Yes.
And I wanted my special to have another layer to it.
So, you know, it'd be more intriguing.
And like you said, I bring up topics and I kind of flip them on their head.
Yeah. And so it's kind of the material is perfectly set up for a TED talk.
Like, you know, you click the screen and there's a topic and it's like hoes.
And then they would never talk about that on a ted talk seriously but i will
yeah on my special and we talk about hoes and we move on to abortion and we just keep going and
you keep doing so so you're flipping the tabs like it's a ted talk yeah yeah that's fucking
wonderful was that your was that your idea when you presented that was that was that the way you
presented the special to bill as you were like look yeah this is fucking great that's right away
yeah yeah that's fucking wonderful man so so go ahead so go back when you were saying you did it Was that the way you presented the special to Bill? You were like, look, here's what I want to do. This is fucking great. He got it right away.
That's fucking wonderful, man.
So go ahead.
So go back.
When you were saying you did it so differently,
so it presented itself as like relief the moment you were done because you had been building up this catalog of...
Well, I had the material and I've been...
When you go to the comedy club to run it, you're just running it.
Then we had to have some test run-throughs
where we actually had the
screen and so then you have to like figure out how many visuals you have for which jokes and
then once you what order then you have to remember the order this is like you're adding shit to it
something that's going to be taped in two weeks that you haven't rehearsed and i'm doing the
clicking who's going to click is something going to be somebody no way is it gonna be me I just gotta be me gotta be you and then so now I'm
performing now I'm not gonna have a mic I perform my whole life with a mic is it one of these things
the lapel my it's a lapel oh wow so then you're just doing all these things you're not used to
and I didn't want to up the order and and not click it when I'm supposed to and sometimes when you
rehearse it like in the club the few times we did if the clicker didn't work
or it was on a timer so if you went too far ahead you couldn't go back you'd
have to stop the whole taping oh shit so then I just had to like get it perfect
right so the stress that I put on myself I I didn't have to, of just wanting it to flow all the way through, like caused a relief when it was done.
Right.
It was just a big weight off your shoulders.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like, oh, we didn't fuck it up.
It's over.
Wow.
Let's go party.
Now you did, where'd you shoot it at?
At the Beverly O'Neill Theater in Long Beach.
Oh, okay, nice.
Why?
Was there a reason for it?
Because we started looking for
places that would look like they would have a TED talk sure and TED talks have
been shot there okay couldn't first I was gonna do it by myself like would
Aristotle was gonna be the director mm-hmm and me and him started looking
for locations and then bill and my agent at the time
hit me up and said hey we want you bill wants you to be a part of the three specials so then now we
had a bigger budget and we started looking at into like real places that would really fit the
the vibe of the vibe of it and that's great we really captured the vibe of it yeah man i i've
seen i've seen some snippets online like they put up some previews of it. The trailer, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it looks great, man.
It looks like a goddamn TED Talk.
Yeah, exactly.
It looks identical to a TED Talk.
Like me with a holy sweater on
doing a goddamn TED Talk
talking about hoes.
Talking about hoes.
But that's the real TED Talks, right?
Those are the ones
that people want to see.
Yeah, yeah.
The ones about, you know.
It's the most interesting
non-TED Talk
you've ever seen in your life.
Did you have somebody open the show?
Because that's such a different format.
Did someone come out cold and do something?
Brody, but he's dead.
Brody did it.
He did it dead, huh?
That's pretty incredible.
Where are you, Brody?
Why the fuck are you not around to do shit like that for us?
You're supposed to be around to see this shit, son.
He would have loved that kind of shit.
Yeah, yeah.
It was just a fun day, too.
He was there, and then we also put him in the...
There's like, you know, when TED Talks start,
there's these images with people, different speakers.
Right.
So that day, we shot, like, Fahim was one of those people.
Right.
Fucking Stupid Linochi was one of those people.
Stupid is always the adjective for some reason.
Stupid Linochi. Yeah, it's his first name. That is his first name, adjective for some reason. Stupid Linoche.
That's his first name. Stupid Linoche.
It's funny. Then we had Jesus go up so that they could just
shoot these people. And all you have to do is
pretend you're talking.
And Jesus
wasn't even talking and couldn't talk.
He's like, you got nervous
shooting something that you're not even
supposed to be talking in?
What the fuck?
We clowned his ass.
So we just had fun.
Yeah,
it was just fucking around.
And then Brody was one of them
and then some of the PA people
and it was just fun.
That's great.
Yeah.
Did you do,
you did a live audience
of Bill as comedy fans
or did you tell them
it was going to be
kind of like a TED talk?
No,
we didn't tell them.
You didn't tell them shit?
We showed up.
Yeah, yeah.
That's even cooler.
Because it's still a set, you know? Right, right, you know right right still a set but we just that element nobody knew
about until like doc you know doc willis yeah i love doc he said when he got there he's like what
the fuck is going on why is that because there's a ted thing i don't even get that yeah don't give
it all away but yeah you'll see doc doc doc by the way he's talking about doc was a guy who used
to work at the comedy store he made me laugh all the the time. He's a very short man, but has a voice of James Earl Jones.
I mean, he's like, every time I'd see him, he's like, oh, what's up, Santino?
He's like the deepest voice of all time.
Oh, yeah, he does.
Yeah, it's just like very, it's like real guttural.
Oh, yeah, hey, man.
Like, if you just heard his voice from around the corner, you'd be like, who's this big-ass dude?
You'd think he's way bigger.
Yeah, dude, you'd see him.
He's compact.
That's probably the PC word.
He's a compact human being.
He's a compact human being.
He's a compact man.
He wouldn't like to fucking hear that.
Oh, man.
I heard you say compact.
Fuck that shit, man.
I'm normal size.
You know what?
It's so funny.
Whenever you say someone's short or tiny or whatever, if you're like, oh.
You know what people do to me all the time?
Often, lately, for some reason, people keep going, man, you're taller than I thought.
And I'm always like, how did you, why did you think I was short?
Like they see you on camera and they, they, I think they have this idea of how big we are compared to one another.
But, but lately a lot of people have been like, God, I thought you were a lot shorter than.
Because most people on film are tall, are shorter when you see them in real person.
Sure, I guess.
But here's the one I can't understand.
I just performed in a comedy club on stage.
You were there live.
Yeah.
And later on in the lobby, hallway, they're like, man, you look taller on stage.
I'm like, are you out of your fucking mind?
How dare you tell?
I was on stage in front of you.
You could see my height even though
i'm on something that's a level that's higher than you like you you thought i walked in with
clogged stage with a clogged stage on my foot like i don't know if they're trying to be funny
oh i hate when they're trying to be funny yeah sometimes they are though after shows when people
trying to be funny it's like just be genuine that's all comics want just be genuine like if you're if you're if you're if you're like hey man you don't
have to be funny back no just hey man i i'm a fan or like i like this or hey my mom i had somebody
told me oh my god somebody in san diego had come up to me and been like i came here because my dad
is a fan and i was like that's dope oh that's dope and he was like yeah my dad's out of town but he was like you got to dope. Oh, that's dope. And he was like, yeah, my dad's out of town.
But he was like, you got to come.
Like, that's a cool, it's like a nice, fun moment to share.
But when someone comes up to you drunk and they do this whole fucking game and you're like, dude, I just worked for you.
I just worked.
I just did an hour of work for you.
Here's the crazy thing.
When, like, I still don't really drink, but I drink once in a while.
Yeah, you pretty rarely.
I don't really see you drink that much. But, when i didn't drink at all yeah and people were like after the show like what do
you can i buy you a drink i said no i don't drink you don't drink what do you do for fun
motherfucker the reason why you want to buy me a drink is because i made you laugh for an hour
how are you accusing me of not being fun right now because i don't drink that makes no
sense to me some of those people that's the only way they have fun though right like you're talking
about a lot of the big part but you can't ask somebody who made you laugh so much what do they
do for fun what do they do for fun right motherfucker we just did it we did fun i did so
much fun for you yeah you want to you want to spend money on a drink well delia hears it all
the time and you you know, like...
Yeah, he don't drink.
He doesn't drink.
I mean, there's a lot of guys.
I have more people on this show, Whiskey Ginger, where usually we have a drink.
I have more people on this show that don't drink than do now, which is funny to me.
Is this real water or prop water?
We'll find out.
Okay, I'm sure you're right.
Yeah, man.
Prop water.
Yeah.
Good.
Go fishing first.
But like D'Lea, Bobby, there's guys that are either sober or never drank.
Oh, yeah, Bobby's sober.
And so people always ask.
Chris used to be, I think he doesn't get it as much anymore because he's kind of.
People know.
People know.
The ascension is so obvious now.
It's so big.
He's way up there.
But I remember being, after shows with him, people were like, yo, Chris, can we buy you a drink?
And he's like, I'm good, man.
And they're like, oh, you don't want one?
He's like, no, I'm good.
And he would always say like, I'm good or whatever, or thank you, no thank you.
Until finally he had to be like, I don't drink.
I don't drink.
And people do that same thing where they go, why not?
He's like, I don't want to.
And they're like, were you sober?
What do you like to do?
What's your thing now?
I'm not blaming you because you do drink.
Right.
So there's people who don't drink.
Like you've been in this world.
Right.
You've been around long enough.
There's people who don't drink.
So why are you surprised
When you meet one
Everybody doesn't drink
Everybody doesn't swim
Everybody doesn't
Doesn't like boxing
Everybody doesn't like
Like
Right
I'm not gonna be like
You don't like soccer
Right
What the fuck do you like
Well because you're huge
In a soccer
Yeah
And when you meet people that
When you meet people
That do like soccer
I'm excited
You're excited.
And if I meet someone that doesn't, I get it.
Right.
You go, fine.
Sure.
You also don't like a lot of other fucking things.
Yeah.
Well, that's the same way for me.
Because that's the way the world works.
Yeah.
So why is everybody surprised when the world works?
Yeah.
The way it works.
How do you do that?
How do you not?
Yeah.
Like, you know.
You don't blink?
Like what? Well you you got him you were the first person i've said this before you were the first
person i ever tried vegetarian i mean was it vegan no it might have been vegan it was a vegan was it
veggie grill i think that's what we had from the from the yeah is that that's vegan or vegetarian
it's vegan yeah it is vegan right yeah yeah So when we were working together, I had never had a vegan meal.
Obviously, I'd eaten vegetarian dishes.
Right.
You know, I had to go into like Thai food places got vegetarian shit.
But I never had a vegan meal.
So we had vegan for the first time.
And I remember like, you were like, I kept being like, I don't like this shit.
Like, I know I'm not going to like this shit.
And you're like, how do you know if you've never fucking had it?
And I was like, I just know I'm not going to like this shit. And then I ate, how do you know if you've never fucking had it? And I was like, I just know I'm not going to like this shit.
And then I ate it.
And sure enough, I fucking liked that shit.
Because veggie grill was good.
It was.
It was really fucking good.
But I could tell they put a lot of, you know, there's probably a lot of sugars and salts.
Salt.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All the good stuff to make it.
They spice it up.
They make sure you like it.
Yeah, they do.
They make sure that people that don't have any interest in becoming vegan will still
eat the food.
Yeah.
That's kind of their goal.
Yeah.
It's like, all right. You know, one day I'll do indian one day i'll do thai one day i'll
do veggie grill right it's like yeah yeah that's kind of the balance yeah which okay so we we've
said this before we've had this conversation but never on on air but like you've been vegan
for how long uh i forgot but it's definitely over 10 years.
Easily.
Easily.
But you used to eat meat.
Yeah.
But the conscious decision was, it wasn't because you watch a documentary.
Now it's like, hey, people are like, I saw that thing and I stopped.
It was before the documentary.
Yeah, you were before that game.
Yeah, yeah.
I was getting hazed for not eating meat.
I'm one of the old school.
You're the OG vegan.
I'm the OG vegan.
Wait, why did you,
what was the impetus to quit?
So when I was in LA for a minute
and I just wanted to be healthier,
so then I just cut my diet down
to chicken and fish.
Yeah.
And that was getting monotonous.
Right.
And then my friend, Tangerine,
she just turned vegan. That's one of the most my friend, Tangerine, she just turned vegan.
That's one of the most beautiful names.
Tangerine is so dope.
What a name.
Tangerine.
That's an L.A. hood name.
Yeah, but it sounds great.
Yeah, yeah.
I got a friend named Grapefruit.
Nice dude.
Very nice dude.
I think I met him.
Yeah, you know that dude.
Yeah, he's cool.
But Tangerine convinced you to do it, huh?
Yeah, she had this.
We went to eat at Chin Chin's.
Which, by the way, sounds like a racist.
I don't know why it sounds racist because it's a Chinese food place.
I mean, they named it.
Yeah, they did it.
I don't know why. All I had to do was show up.
Every time I go, I'm like, Chin Chin just sounds like.
It sounds like Ching Chong when I go into that motherfucker.
I'm like, they could have made it anything else.
If it was Yin Yang, it would have been more.
I mean, they wanted to let you know this is Chinese food.
Come get it.
You know what I'm saying?
No questions. Chin Chin. Well, that's like in new york all those places are just called chinese food
yeah you know there's restaurants that oh yeah they're just called chinese food and you're like
what is this i guess chinese food on 43rd creative yeah chinese food so tangerine took you to chin
chin and but she wasn't eating meat she ordered something that was meatless and then she had this book and it had
like pictures of stool and shit that comes out of meat eater stool oh and i was like whatever
you know yeah i ate my my meat and shit but then when i went home later on and i was cooking like
some uh turkey sausages and shit like i started like it started frying and bubbling up. I started like seeing
the worms that were in
the pictures. But also here's the main
reason. When I was a kid, I used to love
KFC.
It was a treat that
we'd have like once a
month on a Friday. That's when KFC
was good. I don't know when you
grew up. When KFC was like
just banging. When I was a kid it was Popeyes you go when KFC was like it's just banging when I
was a kid was Popeyes in Chicago Popeyes Popeyes was like mm-hmm KFC was around
but I think Popeyes was way bigger for some but you know what went before I
started eating meat before I started stopped eating meat and I used to eat
Popeyes it was way better than KFC it was I thought it when I was a kid it was
amazing it was a good that was a treat for us too I was like damn Popeye's fried chicken
It's like Friday night fucking KFC
And I was like I vowed
That when I grew up and I was an adult
I'm gonna eat this shit whenever the fuck I want
When I get enough money
I'm gonna have KFC every day of the fucking week
If I feel like it
My name is Montoya Santona
And I will avenge.
And I will avenge my father's death.
I will eat for KFC for the rest of my life.
And then I was an adult and I started like buying buckets of this shit and bringing it home and eating it.
But it just never tasted the same.
No, it doesn't.
And it's not that they changed the ingredients.
It's that they changed the chicken.
They fucking did something.
Yeah, it's all GMO or whatever it is. It's gmo yeah and then it let me know that they're doing something and i was like i don't
want to put this shit in me either right so then you got over it yeah i got it i mean they helped
me get over it damn kfc did it kfc turns you vegan kfc you know whoever does makes chicken
or raises it or does whatever they do to it well it's funny because when i travel when because if you travel the world and you eat other meat in other countries, it tastes so different.
And it tastes like meat again.
Yeah, it tastes so different.
And it tastes like KFC again.
It does.
It oddly does taste like...
I think the only kind of meat that I think in America still that I eat that still tastes kind of like the cleanest version is red meat.
When you get high-end red meat.
So when you get a really nice cut of red meat, you can tell.
They don't fuck with it.
They don't fuck with it, right.
But you have to pay for it.
Yeah, you have to pay for it.
So now the poorest version of meat, the normal version that people are eating,
is so fucked with that it does – you are right, it is weird.
It does taste different.
And we've tried the Beyond Meat and all that bullshit
and the Impossible Burger
or whatever it is
and that shit's good as fuck
that shit is good as fuck
it's weird how good it is
it's creepy
it's kind of creepy
like it makes me go like
what the fuck is going on
it might be real meat
not only does it taste
like a little bit sweeter
than meat
it has the same
texture and feel
it's got like
it has the redness
the juiciness to it
it's really odd man
it's it just goes to show you that like your brain can quite easily be tricked into transitioning
into this other world if need be.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
Like have you ever had, what's it called?
Magic fruit from West Africa?
Magic fruit, magic fruit, magic.
What's that?
Fuck.
It's this little berry.
Oh, yeah?
And you let it dissolve on your tongue.
You can buy them on Amazon.
I think they sell them now.
It used to be illegal to get.
Now it's totally legal.
Magic fruit?
Magic fruit.
And it changes the chemical composition of your tongue,
so sour things taste sweet.
Oh, yeah?
You have to Google.
Yeah, people at home will Google it,
but I think it's called magic fruit.
Magic fruit has got to be the name of it.
I'm going to order some right now. Look at this. Oh, here it is called magic fruit magic fruit has got to be the name of it i'm gonna order something right now look at this oh here it is yeah magic fruit so magic fruit um magic a miracle
fruit or magic fruit there are two different but it's called uh sinus palal so my god sinus palum
dulcisium is a plant nose for its berry that when it's eaten causes sour food subsequently to
consume to taste sweet the effect is due to miraculin which is a chemical that coats your tongue no but there but you can order
these things online and they make them in tablet form but that could save
marriages this is a husband's wife yeah vice versa is a bad cook you gotta eat
their cooking right before the meal oh honey this tastes good what are you
taking before we eat dinner just a vitamin
it's normal shit normal shit your food is great makes your garbage taste palatable
but i get we had one at a party one time and it was fucking remarkable what it would do you
she um my buddy's mom cut lemons and i was like i'm not eating a fucking lemon i don't like lemons
that much and i was like i'm not eating fucking lemon and she was like try it so after you put
this on your tongue you don't really physically feel you can't really physically tell but i took a bite out
of it and i swear to god i swear to god on my life it tasted sweet the lemon tastes like an orange
sweeter than an orange it almost tastes like um uh i'm gonna get that just to try it's weird it's
like fresh mango thing to have you know fresh mango is really like juicy and sweet and clean
that's what the lemon would taste like.
Like super clean.
And they're much cheaper than mangoes.
I know.
So you know what?
I'm going to get this.
And lemons are good for you?
Yeah.
I'm going to start eating lemons with magic fruit.
Solve my overpriced mango problem.
Right.
Get the magic fruit.
Get the magic fruit.
Magic fruit or a miracle fruit is what I guess they call it. But in West Africa, it was used, they would put it on their tongues to eat stuff that was less savory for nutrition if they just didn't like the taste of it.
Like for kids, they would give it to kids.
And there was this-
Parents should give that to kids too.
They should.
Because I've seen like this one toddler on the plane, parents give kids like chips or just whatever just so they don't
cry right when they don't want to cry candy and they should like i'm like that's a slippery slope
right yeah and this has come from a guy with no kids but i just feel like right they should though
yeah they should this is this is this will solve a lot of issues i don't like when somebody says
like i don't have kids either we don't have kids but I don't like when somebody says, I don't have kids either. We don't have kids. But I don't like when someone says,
you don't know you don't have kids.
Yeah, I still know some things,
even though I don't know.
That's also what I'm saying.
I've never been to prison,
but I know it's horrible.
I imagine.
I can just imagine the story you're telling me.
Does shit taste like shit?
Probably.
Yeah, yeah.
So I don't need to have it
to know that things are fucked up.
I don't like when somebody does that.
How would you know?
How would you know?
How would I know that you shouldn't feed your kid
shit from your ass?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm just taking a guess.
I'm just taking a wild guess.
It's a wild guess.
It's a wild guess.
That bothers me and it bothers me when somebody says,
someone just did this again to me.
I was singing a song in a store.
There was some shit on the radio.
I'm just imagining you singing.
I was singing.
I'm not a good fucking singer too
But I'm like singing it
Kind of under my breath
And it was a song
From maybe the 60s
And
And this woman's like
It was Motown
And this woman was like
How do you know this song?
And I said I'm sorry
She was black
How do you
She was
She was
She was too old to tell
I don't know what she was She's so old You couldn't tell what color she was I don't know, she was, she was, she was too old to tell. I don't know what she was.
She's so old you couldn't tell what color she was.
I don't know what she was.
But she was, she worked there and she was, she was real light skinned though.
I couldn't really, seriously, I couldn't tell.
She could have been 50 different kinds of things.
And she goes, how do you know this song?
And I said, this, what do you mean?
And she goes, you, you too young to know this shit.
And I was like, do you not know things from before your too young to know this shit and I was like do you
not know things from before your time I know right it just annoyed me that she was it's almost like
saying like you're not allowed to like this song I think she's trying to like this this pleasantness
I wasn't there no you see you're I know what you're trying I know what you mean I wasn't there
there was condescension behind it okay it was almost like saying like uh she it's almost like
she really said you don't know this song instead of how do you know it was almost saying like you don't know this fucking song it's like yeah i do
i love this song like what i'm not allowed to know do you know who picasso was right why why
were you around who was picasso yeah i don't like when people do that when they check your like i
try to be conscious that when i talk to someone younger than me when when i say something and
someone younger than me is like i don't know what that is instead of me going of course like you guys don't have to you guys don't
have that from your generation it's be i'm more informative now i'm like oh yeah this used to be
by the way i like doing that to younger people you do you like you like diving on them i mean
they're gonna pass me and be ahead of me at one time so yeah i mean they could fuck with me on
technology so i'm gonna get them back see that's why i, they could fuck with me on technology, so I'm going to get them back.
See, that's why I'm scared.
I want to get on their team so they don't fuck me up in the long run.
That's why my fears are going to be like,
you know, he talked shit to us a couple years ago
back when we were...
That's kind of like the approach that a lot of...
I'm nice to everybody.
Yes, well, you're nice.
But I'm shitty nice.
You're nice to strangers.
You're more fun and mean fun to people you know.
Mean fun to people.
But that's the people you know.
But I also mean fun to people you know. Mean fun to people you know. But that's to people you know.
But I also introduce myself to people I expect to keep seeing and try to be.
But L.A. is different. Like in New York, you shit on somebody, they're your friend for life.
Sure.
Yeah.
And when I came to L.A., I realized you can't just shit on people.
You have to slowly introduce.
It's like baby food into adult food.
Right.
You know what I'm saying?
I got to baby food them, my fake personality, and then boom, hit them with the, start shitting on them.
Right, right.
Some people are just more sensitive in L.A.
New York's just tougher.
It's just a culture, right?
It's a very odd culture because we haven't really cultivated our own culture in L.A.
We're all so different from everywhere.
Everybody's from everywhere.
And New York is everyone from everywhere. But when you get to new york you better fucking
curb all your bullshit right because it just the city makes you kind of turn into something that
you you have to be to fit in that mold otherwise it'll swap eat you up yeah you can disappear in
la you could be from oklahoma and come here and live a quiet life and just do your thing and be
fine you feel like you're in a sunny version of Oklahoma.
Right.
You can't do that shit in New York.
It just won't work.
New York comedy audiences did get more sensitive, though.
I was just talking to another comment.
There's a Mark Norman, who's a great stand-up.
He was talking about that.
The shift is very obvious, and it's unfortunate.
Yeah, I went there last year.
I was like, what the fuck is going on here?
Yeah, you physically feel it, huh? Yeah, yeah. I haven't performed there in a while so i have no idea and i've never performed at the
cellar but all i know is that people say the cellar has shifted dramatically over the years
yeah and the comedy store has gotten even stronger in its approach to being the most open yeah that's
what's so wild right exactly because normally, exactly. Because normally, whatever would work
at the store,
you could take to the East Coast
and kill there.
Right.
And now,
audiences are like,
I can't believe you said that.
Well, I mean,
what I think is,
what I think's crazy is,
there used to be this perception
of Los Angeles comedy
as cheap or fake
or hacky or easy or whatever.
And New York was this tried and true, like,
that's where you can really get out material.
But now I feel like New York people, New York comics,
are doing just the same material we are, sharp, questionable material,
but it's just not getting consumed there because there's this pushback.
And out here there's just this open, like, well, fuck it. If it's going to happen, there because there's this pushback and out here there's
just this open like well fuck it if it's gonna happen we're gonna hear it here you can go hard
here yeah it's weird man i'm glad i'm in the place you can go hard me too because it would
scare me if i was over there yeah yeah which is also subsequently why to my comedy well you'd
have to because a lot of those guys are moving here yeah there's a lot of people that are making
the shift or to come here more often because they feel like they can just say it here.
And I don't know what it is.
I don't know who it is.
I don't know why.
I don't know what happened, but I know things change.
That's life.
But I just never thought that would be a change.
Yeah, it's weird.
That is like something that I never calculated.
Well, especially because we're in the liberal Mecca, right? Like New York is, I think what people, like when people hear LA is this like left coast place,
it really is,
but they also forget that like surrounding Los Angeles
is a lot of different ideas.
Oh yeah.
There's a lot of people that don't just think like LA people.
Listen, man,
I went to a Red Lobster in the Valley a few years ago.
I did not,
it didn't feel like I was in California.
No, no.
Nah, nah, nah. Well, it was a Red Lob california no no no well it was red lobster to be
fair yeah it was red lobster but it was just like it's like canoga park yeah and it just like oh
you're not this is different world it is yeah and that's only 12 miles from the center of los
angeles exactly like i was in um we were just in baltimore baltimore maryland and man it's funny when people start to get comfortable and they just tell you stuff and you're down to absorb it.
And I just was listening to him.
But he's like, yeah, you do TV?
And I was like, yeah, I do TV sometimes.
I don't like this accent already.
You already know what's coming.
He goes, yeah, we don't watch TV no more.
I was like, why not?
You don't like, did nothing on for you? He goes, yeah you know all these my wife used to watch all these shows you know like uh you know
this network hgtv i said yeah home and guard tv he goes yeah uh what it really stands for is uh homo
godless television i was like oh so you watch fox he watches fox news yeah well no he says he
doesn't he goes i said i said
well what do you what do you like and he goes there hasn't been a good show on tv since king
of queens that's what he said hilarious yeah he loved king of queens that was his go-to but he
would but he was so adamant about he kept plugging the home he said the joke three times by the way
he goes yeah homo godless tv he wrote that that. He loved it. Or somebody, a friend.
He got a text.
Yeah.
He got a text and he was like, dude, I'm saying that.
That's so funny, bro.
But he kept saying it to me over and over.
And it's funny when someone gets comfortable because he was like, you know, because my material, when I say it, I'm not, I'm definitely not aligned with like a very liberal point of view, even though I ironically am.
Or a conservative point of view. I make fun of a lot of lot of sides yeah and i go hard on a lot of people like i'm a little
bit mean when i approach a subject when i should be more sensitive about it but i like it and i
think he heard it as like yeah you're one of me yeah you're yeah i can tell you this joke exactly
my favorite bit which i actually kind of like because i hear it on both sides i hear like very
left-leaning people who like are like you think just like me right and i'm like that's funny
because i don't i don't find myself to be a super hard left-leaning person right i don't i definitely
don't find myself to be a hard right-leaning person either but i don't trust either side
yeah why would you i think most comics are like that now yeah most comics you talk to you they're
like unless you're like nick topalo or one of these guys who's like outright, that's what I do. I used to listen to NPR a lot in the car.
And it's like, you're just doing the same thing that the Fox News people are doing to their crowd.
And it's like, it's not this cut and dry.
Cut and dry And
Especially since
Trump is in office
I didn't like it when everybody shit on Obama
Right
Shitting on Trump
Does not help
No it's not helping shit
It's strengthening him
So it's like
I didn't like the petty tactic of attacking Obama that the right was doing.
So I'm not going to enjoy the petty tactic of attacking Trump either.
I just don't like pettiness.
Yeah, it's cheap.
It's like go for the real.
Give me a real story about some real shit.
And let's be adults about this.
some real shit and let's be adults about this right yeah i got i got a little bit of a little bit of like uh my conscious clap back myself of like i was saying this joke about trump and i was
like i said like trump is going to win again and audiences get mad and i said i'm not voting him
in i'm just letting you know the truth of what statistics are i said this country has an extremely
difficult time letting someone only have one term.
It's very rare, like statistically.
You got to be George Bush.
Bush, that's right.
You got to be George Bush.
I mean, really.
I mean, it's been a long time.
Prior to him was...
He's alive still.
Who?
Carter.
Carter.
Yeah, Carter.
That's right.
Well, that was pretty fucking obvious.
Yeah.
But I think like in the long run of this country, I said, yeah, I said most presidents don't
serve one term.
And I said, unless somebody kills them, you know, like people got mad.
But that's the last thing I would want.
I know.
Because then Pence gets in there and shit.
It'll be a civil war.
Yeah, it'd be crazy.
Yeah, it'd be crazy.
So I don't want that shit.
No, but I'm like, I'm making such an obvious joke about like president about assassination of presidents and some dude afterwards man got so mad he's like
you're telling you're the way you're talking is telling people that they should go do something
to trump i said dude it's a i'm making a fucking joke and it's a fact yeah it's a fact and it's a
joke yeah i'm making a joke about a fact what do you want me like yeah so i still feel that like i like to shit on all those
things but you do still feel that like politics are like the one thing now that's a funny joke
where people still kind of thank you where people still get like a little sensitive you could say
anything else and they and they'll absorb it and take it for what it's worth or they'll go oh they
don't like it but when when someone is adamant about their politics man they get fucking they still get upset they still get upset it's like it's just it's it's
it's harder than the birds and the bees talk right politics it is yeah like uh so i did new negroes
right i did 12 minutes comedy central puts the whole 12 minutes set online oh it's not oh no
okay i'm sorry it's not online it's not edited new negroes
not my special no but the show new negroes on tv when it airs it is edited it is edited but my set
they put the whole set on okay so then what happened so there's one joke in there about
i don't even want to tell so i'll tell the. The joke is like, it's a 12 minute set.
I got one joke about how everybody's protesting Trump.
And there's going to be so many marches that by the time he's done being president, the entire country is going to be in great shape.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
We're going to protest ourselves into fitness.
Into fitness.
Right?
Yeah.
So then me and you just had a conversation earlier about
we don't take part in marches we watch yeah i watch stay on the sideline like hey so then comedy
central out of the whole 12 minute set i don't know i'm not saying comedy central whoever does
is in that department they said ian they they posted the thing as clickbait on in gets in shape protesting
Trump so then all these people with Confederate flags without even really
listening to the bit all the whole set right nothing about Trump it's about
other shit right start like come attacking it of course and I told him let's call them up I said hey you got to change the title of this clip because it's a one
bit about Trump that even people who are pro Trump Trump when they've heard it me
do it in the clubs laughed because it's just like it's just funny it's just a
funny joke it's a funny fucking comment's just funny. It's just a funny joke. It's a funny fucking joke. It's a funny commentary, right?
And you got people coming at me,
and I don't march.
Right.
It should be called,
Ian Edwards does not march.
Yeah, exactly.
That would be a funny version of the clip.
Exactly.
I'm the only person that's going to...
Me and you are going to be the only people
that are going to get out of shape
during this presidency.
From watching the bullshit on the sidelines.
From watching people march, yeah.
Did they change it?
Yeah, they changed it.
They've been good about it.
Yeah.
They've been good about learning that it's like, the comics have to be the ones that
have the final say in all this stuff.
It's our shit.
Yeah, you can't change the narrative of what I'm saying.
It's like, you have to think about how that might affect me.
Right.
I got to go places. I don't want people attacking me. I want to be attacked for when I deserve to be attacked, right?
Attack me when I know it's coming. Yeah, don't don't blindside me with something that I don't know
Well, I don't like I don't like being I don't like that
I think that's a hot I talked about this very recently like doing TV for me or doing
Performances on you know, like acting wise, it's gotten
harder for me to swallow the pill because I have no control.
You know, the more stuff I do, the more it's like, well, they edited you differently than
what you delivered.
And the beauty of standup.
Oh, and that's the reason that I've always been a standup and I, and I love it the most
and I'll never quit it, but I might quit acting at some points because you lose control.
I don't, I really don't like not having any control over the final product,
unless it's mine.
Right.
I mean, if I like the project, just for me, I like the project,
and then I get a partner, I'll do it, and I'll do it for that.
And, you know, whatever helps people know who I am
and it makes them come out to see my stand-up, I'll do something like that.
I had an audition this morning.
It's the first time I've had an audition in a while.
What was it for?
It's for Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
What the fuck?
And that's huge.
It's a Marvel show, right?
Yeah, a Marvel show, yeah.
Yeah, that's very big.
They've been on for like seven years.
Six years, yeah.
But probably going into seven, yeah.
That's a heavy show.
They get a lot. I mean, yeah. If it's going into seven. That's a heavy show. They get a lot.
I mean, yeah.
If it's going to help you progress in your career and so more people see you.
And that's like a fantasy thing.
So it doesn't even matter.
But there's auditions I did turn down because then like when, what's the name of this show?
Jermaine Fowler was on that show.
Kekner was on that show.
Superior Donuts.
Superior Donuts.
So they had a black cop.
He's like a goofball.
I was like, if I book this role and I'm like this corny black dude and the people I want to come see me do stand up.
Because sometimes people can't separate the character on TV.
Most times they cannot.
So it's like this would hurt me.
Right.
And stand up Is my main thing
That I want to do
So I can't have people
Perceive me to be this person
Nobody would want to come see me
At their fucking comedy club
Right
Or when they do
They're like mad
That you're not the guy
That they thought you were gonna be
So then I was like
Fuck that shit
Well that's
I guess that's what I mean
Like you see somebody
Like Bob Saget
Who was this America's dad
And then he talks about
Fucking the Olsen twins
When you go see him live.
And people are shocked and they're like,
it's like, yeah, because that guy wasn't that guy
when he did that show.
Yeah, he was not.
And I don't want to be, I just,
it's hard for me lately to like,
accept the fact the past couple of years,
like some things I've involved myself in
is what I put out and what's come out of it
has been two different things.
And it bothered me a little bit
because you can't do that with standup. nobody can fuck up what you delivered on that stage of
your special you put it out there they can't edit that up to be different right you know you're the
one that picks the final product so that's what i love about stand-up is it you'll it'll never be
compromised it depends on the special though because like if you do like those i don't know
what happens during those comedy central half hours well that's or something like
so I'm glad that
I did this with comics
and we
like
pretty much got everything
there's some things
we didn't get
like
you know
but for the most part
yeah
for the most part
it's your product
it's hard to manipulate
what you put out there
because you don't leave
a lot of space
for it to be changed
yeah exactly
when you film shit
there's so much room for things to be manipulated.
So that's my biggest fear is like I don't ever want to put stuff out that's like, well, I didn't want it to look like that.
Right.
You know, and you don't have control when it's not your project.
And stand-up will always be your project.
So that's why I like your special, the TED version of this.
It'd be really hard for them to muck that up and then be able to put it out without your permission.
Right.
That's the beauty of doing that.
It was your vision.
It was your way.
So, you know, for now,
it's like the only thing you can do is put out,
if you want to do TV or film,
is try to be a part of it.
The goal is like, well, I want to make it
because then I get to dictate what I look like.
You know?
I mean, that's kind of the beauty
because lately the stand-ups won my heart so much more.
Some of the stuff I've done film and TV-wise,
it's just a few things the last couple of years,
and I was like, I fucking hate that shit.
I look dumb in that shit.
You look dumb, and you just don't want that to reflect
when somebody comes to see you live.
Or if they don't because of that.
It's like, I thought he was funny,
but that thing I saw him do, I hated it.
That's why I didn't want to do Superior Donuts as a goofy cop.
As a dumb cop?
Because there was a line in the thing where one of the white characters tells a black cop,
shit, I'm blacker than you.
And I was like, I'm not playing some guy that some white person can tell me they're blacker than me.
I'm blacker than you.
Because actually, I've been told that by white people before you know just in real life and i'm like like what are you saying to me
like could you get shot i'm i'm blacker than you can you be shot by a cop by the way that's
the name of my next special is going to be called i'm blacker than you i'm blacker than you i'm
just going to go for it i'm actually my next next special Is gonna be clickbait It's gonna be called
Young blind gay black girl
Homogenous
Homogenous
Yeah we'll see if they like it
Homogenous redhead
Homogenous whiskey
Homogenous whiskey
Yeah yeah
Ginger
Homogenous ginger
Homogenous ginger yeah
Ladies and gentlemen
Watch
Ian's special
It comes out
Comedy Central
On the 12th slash 13th.
Record that, bitch.
Do whatever you have to do.
Yeah, dude.
Lock that shit.
Do something.
Lock it the fuck up and watch.
What's the name of it, by the way?
Ian Talk.
Ian Talk.
Yeah.
Instead of Ted.
Because Ted's a bitch.
Yeah.
What does Ted stand for?
Am I ignorant?
Should I know that?
I don't know either.
All right, good.
I spoofed the shit.
Yeah, you don't fucking know?
I didn't study.
At first, I thought it was a name.
And then I was like, like no it must be an acronym
right
I'm gonna look it up
and I didn't even flinch
I spoofed it
I didn't even flinch
to try to find out
now would be a good time
to know
alright so TED conferences
what does TED stand for
what does TED talk
there's gotta be people
at home that are like
how do you not know that
yeah easy
there's a lot of shit
I don't know my mind is occupied with other shit here it is it's uh technology
entertainment and design my uh special was definitely about none of that shit
what would be the what would be the uh what would be the acronym for ian let's see if we
can figure out what ian stands for. Could Ian stand for something?
What?
I ain't.
I ain't new.
I ain't new.
I ain't nude.
Yeah, I ain't nude.
I ain't nude.
That's in the Me Too movement.
It's just like, hey, man, I ain't nude.
It's like, all right, we'll check it out.
We'll take a watch.
So watch on the 12th to see where Ian's going to be live.
Is it what?
IanEdwardsComedy.com?
ianedwardscomedian.com.
ianedwardscomedian.com.
Or go to Instagram, at ianedwardscomic.
ianedwardscomic, ianedwardscomedian.com.
We'll put all that shit in the description.
Watch his fucking special.
It's incredible.
Also, you have albums out that people can still find on Spotify and iTunes and all that shit.
100% half-assed. 100% half-assed.
Produced by Conan.
Conan production, right?
So listen to that shit. Watch this shit.
Spread the love and the word. We'll see you next week.
Peace!
Whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk.
You're that creature in the ginger beard.
Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Gingers are beautiful.
You owe me $5 for the whiskey
and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. ginger i like gingers