Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Joe DeRosa
Episode Date: March 8, 2024You know em you love em! Maybe not LOVE. Like? You know em you like em it's Joe Derosa NYC's JOEY ROSES fresh off a wild cruise with Eric Andre and the Impractical Jokers. The guys talk about the stat...e of Podcasts his Taylor Swift T-Shirt and so much more. It's a great hang. Enjoy! #andrewsantino #joederosa #whiskeyginger #podcast ================================================ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS RABBITHOLE $5 OFF YOUR ORDER https://rabbitholedistillery.com/buynow USE PROMO CODE: RABBIT SQUARESPACE Get that site up and running now! 10% off your order https://squarespace.com/whiskey MANSCAPED Get 20% OFF YOUR ORDER & FREE SHIPPING PROMO CODE: WHISKEY https://manscaped.com ======================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hello, Whiskey Ginger listeners. Welcome back or welcome to the show. Like and subscribe it, pass it around, tell a friend, do whatever you gotta do.
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Ginger.
I like gingers.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger.
My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth.
I say that for all my guests when I meet him once again today.
It's Joe DeRosa, fresh off of a cruise tour.
I didn't know you were a cruise comic.
I had no idea you were a cruise comic.
I'm only a Joker's cruise comic. No, you're a cruise comic. Everyone's saying that online. All the blogs were a Cruise comic. I had no idea you were a Cruise comic. I'm only a Joker's Cruise comic.
No, you're a Cruise comic.
Everyone's saying that online.
All the blogs are saying Cruise comic.
Here he goes.
We're already started.
I know.
We're already started.
The audience doesn't know.
Joe, it's only because...
Okay, here, I'll tell the audience.
Wait, wait, wait.
The audience doesn't know real quick before you keep talking.
We're very good friends and we're just joking around.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He knows I love him.
But that's not what I was going to say.
I was going to say the audience doesn't know what a Cruise comic is.
You're saying it as if the average person
just knows what that means. These guys are comedy fans and they understand.
Okay, so actually that's
for those that don't know, explain what a cruise comic is.
It's a massive insult. Sorry
to any cruise comics that are listening. It's a
massive insult because here's what happens.
When you do, traditionally,
cruise ship comedy means
you have to be as broad as
humanly possible because you can't offend
anybody or whatever so it's it's it's viewed by a lot of people as like death like it's like you
have to live on cruises for i think arguably 20 to 30 weeks of the year pays very well yeah but
but you don't get off you have to live on a cruise for the rest that is a very different thing from
playing the impractical jokers eric andre cruz either way you're still a cruise for the rest of your life. That is a very different thing from playing the Impractical Jokers Eric Andre Cruise.
Either way, you're still a cruise comic
in my mind.
A fucking party,
and you can say whatever you want,
and you're with all your best friends.
Still a cruise comic.
Cruise comic Joe DeRosa,
ladies and gentlemen.
Tom Cruise comic.
Tom Cruise comic.
I do all Tom Cruise material.
All gay shit.
You kissing guys in the middle of the act.
Give me your best...
Obviously, I'm kidding.
People don't know.
Joe and I are good buddies,
and boy, oh boy,
do we love to rib it up at each other.
It's part of our love.
I agree.
I do.
I'm a little annoyed at you because you look good lately.
I'm the one that's been exercising.
You've just been losing weight because you're just cruising through life.
I have a disease of some kind.
You think you're sick?
I don't feel sick, but I don't know.
No, I told you I started doing testosterone.
The kid is on the T.
How many milligrams of T are you on?
It's not the...
That's a weird way to put it.
It's not a dose pill?
It's not a pill dose?
It's an injection.
Oh, there...
I thought you do pills.
Some people do, but I was advised that that's...
You don't want it going through your liver like that.
Right, it does.
It's harder on your... Well, you don't want it going through your liver like that. Right, it does. It's harder on you.
Well, you don't want it going through your liver.
No, I don't.
That thing's busy as fuck.
Can you imagine?
Your liver just piles of paperwork.
And then tea comes in.
And you're like, dude, I cannot.
My liver is like that.
My liver is like that.
Remember that goblin in Harry Potter that works at the post office with all the piles of shit?
That's your liver.
That's my liver.
It's just.
No more, please.
Your liver is Milton from Office Space.
Remember when they put him in the basement?
He's like, please, no more.
They're just stacking on him.
Okay.
So you take an injection, what, every week?
Three times a week.
Three times a week.
Yeah, I do it myself.
Do you get amped from it?
You feel a little bolt in the morning?
No.
There's a version of testosterone that crosses into like. Ster. That's not what I do. My testosterone count was
low. The clinician I work with said we have to get it to this number, which is the normal number.
Do you remember the number? Yeah, it was 750. What is it now? No, that's the normal number.
Oh, what was yours? I was at like 140 or something.
Whoa.
So you were like one fifth of what you should be.
Yeah. And she's like, she's like, this happens with guys your age.
And she goes in and most people in the medical community will say to you, yeah, welcome to
your forties.
Well, she's now I want to know what mine is because now I got scared.
You got to get tested.
I did.
I did.
I did do my, we did all, we did testosterone.
Oh, you're looking up your blood? Yeah, I did it. I have it on my thing right here. I thought you were texting. I was like, wow, this guy. Why would I do that? You got to get tested. I did. I did. I did do my, we did testosterone. Oh, you're looking up your blood?
Yeah, I did.
I have it on my thing right here.
I thought you were texting.
I was like, wow, this guy really-
Why would I do that?
No, no, no.
I apologize for having the phone up,
but no, I want to look up mine
because you said you're,
so what was your number?
It was 150 or something when I got tested
and now it's 750.
It's literally like spot on.
Five some, five.
See, that's not that low.
Yeah. What is it supposed to be 700 she said like norm like 750 ish is like the kind of average you know this is so great it says adult male anywhere between 200 to 1000
ngdls adult female should be 10 to 83 ngdls depending on who you ask in this society
but here's the thing.
When you ask me, does it get me amped?
Yeah, do you get a little juice from it at all?
No, but what it does is, and I'm not exaggerating,
I feel exactly the way I felt when I was in college.
I never exercised ever.
I was never an exercise guy.
I never played sports, obviously.
I was always a guy that enjoyed throwing them back, smoking a few stiggies,
you know, having a good time and, and kind of eating whatever you want, not whatever I want,
but I try to watch what I eat now. But like, but, but the point is, is like, yeah, not
following a strict diet. And I feel like i'm back in that place of like
i mean if i have a night of drink and i still wake up at like 7 a.m and i'm like
all right fuck it man i'm awake you know but i'm not like you know right um and if i eat a bad meal
i don't all of a sudden feel like total dog shit or or gain two pounds god i gotta get on it and whatever
it just kind of brought my body back to being like and then also too it just kind of tightens
you up a little bit so like i still have little tits you do have little baby little a's little
tiny you know and a gut but i mean it's like but it just starts to pull it all in like it starts
to pull this shit in the stuff that starts to fall as you get older.
So you don't want to exercise at all?
I do want to.
I was for a minute, and I just need to start again.
We should.
Could you imagine, dude, you, if you exercised, you'd be fucking like an A-lister.
You know how hot you would be if you exercised?
A little bit.
Because you're already in fine shape.
Imagine if you tightened it up even more.
I was doing three days a week.
I was doing this upper body thing.
What are we doing?
Let's do it.
It was 15 minutes.
Let's get back.
I got to start.
I don't know why I'm not doing it.
Well, because you're fine.
Obviously, it doesn't matter.
So what's the difference?
I'm so lazy.
I hate it.
The dragging out of the mat and putting it on the floor and picking.
When you have to pick up the weights and carry them over to where you're going
to exercise this is actually what exercising is is putting everything away it's not doing it it's
just packing the shit up hanging it up wiping the thing get it yeah no i agree i hate i hate it but
i have to do it that feeling of of when you're when you're on the road and you go down to the
hotel gym kill me and you're like murder me right here and it smells it smells like old vinegar because smells like old vinegar because they only clean it with bleach and vinegar.
No, trust me. And those gyms are so fucking sad.
They might have one window out to a field.
Oh, dude.
No, it's pathetic as shit.
They're in the worst... because they don't want to waste hotel real estate.
Why would they? Yeah.
So they're like, the gym is beneath the boiler room.
Subterranean.
It's down by the pool. Whatever they say to that, I'm like, the gym is beneath the boiler room. Subterranean. Yeah. It's down by the pool.
Whenever they say that, I'm like, oh, fucking kill me.
The pool, I think, is on SB4.
It's sub-basement four and below that.
You can actually hear the people in the pool from the gym.
Dude, yeah, every hotel, they put the gym in the worst fucking places.
Or my favorite is the new ones don't even have gyms now.
They go, we'll give you a pass to a gym
that's like across the street,
you know, like a health and fitness place
or whatever.
Like if there's an LA Fitness or a-
Fuck off.
Dude.
Fuck off, you cocksuckers.
Fuck off.
You know what they know?
They know you're not gonna take them up on it.
So they probably have an arrangement
with the gym that they say,
depending on how many guests go,
we'll give you this amount of money.
And they know by going, hey, you can go over there.
No one goes.
Hotels, I mean, they are just capitalizing.
Oh, they're killing it.
On the shit we got used to during COVID.
Yeah.
Check in not till four now.
Fuck it.
We're not even going to restaff the cleaning staff.
Please hang up your towels.
Please hang up your towels. The reuse, reduce, reuse. You can only get cleaning staff. Please hang up your towels. Please hang up your towels.
The reuse, reduce, reuse.
You can only get cleaning services
if you request it.
You have to request it.
Let us know you want it.
And here's the thing.
I never wanted it.
I'm like, I'm here for three nights.
I don't give a shit, guys.
I usually say, leave me alone.
I put the thing, the privacy in it.
Yeah.
First thing I do, goes on the door.
If I do want it cleaned,
you have to go out of your way
and you go,
can you guys clean 1402?
And they're like
Our cleaning crew is actually done for the day
That was the funny thing about being on that cruise
Yeah
Because it was
It was technically international
Because you left the country
Oh right
Wait
Where'd you guys go?
We went to the Bahamas
And back
And it's
The cleaning staff would be like
You know
I'd be walking out of my room
They're like
Sir, sir Can we clean your room
I was like fuck off no man
I got the sign out
I used to get mad about that
like no the sign is out
leave me alone
I didn't say fuck off to them but just in my head
but I mean David Spade had a joke
about it like housekeeping
it was like because that was like
you couldn't keep them out of your room.
Yeah, now they never
ever want to see your room. And you can
tell, by the way, every hotel I stay in now
feels like
it's been untouched unless
it was used by a prior person, and they almost
just pull the sheets back over. I don't even think
a lot of times I'm questioning the sheets.
I promise you we're sleeping on dirty sheets. I promise
you.
There's no way that's not happening.
There's no chance that it's clean. They got like one lady now.
Yeah.
It's one lady for all the hotels.
They just ship her around to hotels.
Am I merry at today?
Camaro at high yet?
She's like a, yeah, she's like a mercenary.
Where's the job today?
She goes to a fucking landing strip out in a field.
They treat her like a CIA agent.
She gets helicoptered in.
Maria, let's go!
We gotta go to the Andaz!
She runs.
Hold on.
Hold on.
The Mexican lady in the maid uniform running, doing the duck run underneath the helicopter.
See you at 530!
That's so funny.
So fucking funny.
That is what it feels like, though, on the road now.
It is funny because I, by the way, and I couldn't go on this cruise, all joking aside, and I wish I went with you guys, but scheduling, when they asked me, I was like, this is never going to work out.
I don't have, it sucks because of all the times I would be down to go on
some bullshit like that.
It'd be with you fuckheads.
Cause it was all my friends.
It was all my friends.
If you were there, I would have died.
Yeah.
We would have died.
We would have died.
I wouldn't have got back alive.
I know.
I mean, cause, cause just being on a boat like that with Q from Jokers, like Sal, Sal's
fun, but Sal doesn't like go after it.
Yeah.
He's yeah. Sal's one of my best friends't, like, go after it. Yeah, he's, yeah.
Sal's one of my best friends.
He's a little tempered.
Yeah, but he's one of my best friends.
But he doesn't go after it.
Like, Q will be like, what are we doing, baby?
Come on, it's fucking 1 o'clock.
Let's get ripped.
Like, and just that alone, I was like, I might not make it back.
And then Tone Bell was there.
And Tone is good for it. And then Tone Bell was there.
And Tone is good for it. Tone likes to have some fun.
We were in the airport.
And we were flying from Austin to Miami together.
Does he live in Austin?
Yeah, he's got a place in Austin.
Oh, right, right, right.
We talked about this.
Yeah, that's right.
So we were flying.
I was in Austin because I was doing mothership.
Dude, you want to talk about a fucking two weeks of my life that I want to just relive?
The first week I went to Austin to do the Mothership.
So I was in Austin.
And then I did four sold-out shows at the Mothership.
And it was the drinking at the Mothership bar.
Yeah.
And I went in early to do Segura and your mom's house.
Yeah.
And to do Danny Brown and to do all the pods and whatever
so I got there fucking early
so now I'm having fun in Austin
then the shows happen, you do your shows, it's awesome
then you're drinking after the shows
then me and Tone get on a plane
and fly to Miami to get on a cruise
I mean it was the best two weeks of my life
it was so fun
and the testosterone makes you think you are a teenager.
Yes.
You're living the life that a teenager you would be jealous of.
Yes.
And you actually have the internals now of a teenager.
Yeah, well, at least...
Yeah, we're in the fucking future, dude.
This is the greatest time on earth to be alive.
After this, it's over.
Yeah.
This is perfect.
This is it.
We're catching the tail.
They're giving you money to have fun, and you're injecting serum to make you younger it's
is this fucking insane it's fucking awesome it's insane what's happening oh my god i love it i love
it it's gonna burn out in two years no you're not gonna burn out you're on your way up oh oh it's
being like the comedy thing everything oh. Oh, comedy's cooked.
Something's going to happen.
Okay, so I said this before.
I called this out.
And I'm not, I hate to do this.
But right before COVID, we were in the green room at the comedy store.
I've told this story.
It's so stupid.
But Bill Burr walked in the green room and was like, dude, we're going to get fucking audited.
And I was like, what?
He's like, have you seen the fucking parking lot?
And it was absurd.
It was like Kevin Hart and all these guys were coming around.
You know, it was just like people were coming a lot.
And it was like Ferrari, Lamborghini, Rolls Royce.
It was insane.
It was like, it was true.
It was, I remember pulling in a few times being like, what in the fuck is this?
It's like a car show.
And Burr was like, this is too much.
And it was, the lineups were heavy.
It's great.
It's like the bar scene in Goodfellas when the guy pulls up after the heist.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
Take it back.
Take it back.
That's outside the comedy show.
That's what it feels like.
And then I had said to a few of our good friends, something's got to change.
This is like, you know, the cup runneth over.
Like, it's bubbling.
Something's going on
and then covid literally killed the business and i'm not saying i called it but i feel the same
way now i hate to say it but the cup is run a thing over it it's it's insane people are selling
out fucking arenas like what's going on yeah and it's not that the money that has been made on podcasting,
it's not right.
It's not right.
You're talking about the money you make
on podcasting?
Brother,
I know the money,
I know the money
that we all make.
I know what everybody makes.
Oh, you do?
You're in the books?
I'm in the books.
I thought you were Italian.
Yeah.
What's that?
You're not...
What do you mean?
Jewish?
Are you Jewish? No. Oh. I think like the Jew. Yeah. What's that? You're not. What do you mean? Jewish? Are you Jewish?
No.
No.
I think like the Jew.
I'm not trusting your books.
Just kidding.
Six pounds on sopra sada.
No, but dude, look, once you learn how your own podcast works and you learn the metrics
of your own show.
Sure, sure.
And you learn what that means monetarily.
And you go out there to YMH and you're like, holy fuck.
You can look at anybody's podcast and go, I probably am in a close guessing range of
what that podcast has been.
And it's insane.
So you think shut down all the podcasts as well?
No, but this is how lucrative podcasts are.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus is doing one.
Yeah, why is it?
See, but this is what's weird.
She's a millionaire from birth to begin with.
B, B, my friend.
She's a billionaire.
B, from birth to begin with.
Then Seinfeld.
Not enough.
Right?
Veep.
Then Veep.
Not enough.
New Adventures of Old Christine.
Not enough.
In syndication.
Not enough.
Right?
Now she's in Marvel movies.
This woman, and she's doing a podcast.
That's the kind of money podcasts are bringing in
what does that really say fucking bateman yeah they got a hundred million podcast network
this guy is in every fucking movie and tv yeah he's dipping into our world
it's wild dude well what it means to me is two things. One, it is being disingenuously sought after.
And I'm not saying we're more righteous in this than they are,
but this was our fucking thing.
I agree.
I hate to say that, but as comics, it was our shit.
It was our way to connect with the audience,
to promote our tours, to be like, hey, here's another way to see us fucking around having fun and being comedians
and then everyone else has kind of chomped in it which whatever but also it also more importantly
means to me uh the old phrase there is no end to up because if what does that mean there is no end
to up meaning what you said veep sign phone not it doesn't there is
no like well after that everything's okay okay most people have the sickness in this business
of there is no end to up it's like well when is it enough when is enough is enough
do you really need a fucking podcast network it's wild and i mean that i'm not being i'm not being
judgmental i'm just saying no it's crazy, I'm shocked they would want to do it.
That's what I mean.
There is no end to up.
Meaning you'd think they'd be full by now.
Well,
here's the thing.
Excuse me.
Um,
this is,
this is okay.
I have so many thoughts on this.
I'm glad we're talking about it.
I think that I agree with you.
Podcasting became a thing that now it's not just comedians. It's it's it's people who are food enthusiasts. It's it's it's comic book collectors. It's whatever. having an, an, uh, would at first audio format and then eventually video format show, um,
that was an idea of, of something they wanted to, to be, to, to celebrate or whatever.
Um, they could do it and they could do it as a means to help monetize the overall dream or the overall journey or whatever.
It became another component or calling card.
It was just part of the repertoire.
And it's a necessity for a lot of us.
For us, for comics, I think it's absolutely a necessity.
I will say without any, with full certainty,
I need the money my podcasts make me.
I need it.
Well, you need more than the money.
You need the reps, the exercise, the connection, the community.
The exposure.
It helps you sell tickets.
It's all part of you.
It's all a part of being a comic.
It helps you sell tickets.
It's everything.
It's so crucial.
It's a part of my life that I need or part of my business that I need.
Nothing against Stolioli Drivers.
It's like,
you don't need this money.
This is just money
that's still on the table.
Unless she loves the gig.
Maybe.
Maybe she just
really wants to still
be in a thing like that.
I guess.
But what do you mean
still in?
She was never in a thing
like that.
No, I mean still
in the new world of, i mean still in the nor the
new world of i mean you gotta think dude young young people may not know who she is i think it's
it keeps you relevant i think it's i think it's i think it's i this sounds so negative towards her
i don't mean to i'm a fan but well i guess i should tell her not to come out she's right outside julia like jerry springer uh i uh i it just feels to me like it's a team saying
you should do a podcast you know here so here's the strategy now we're going to do a podcast
because that's going to keep you relevant with young people and then you're going to get to do
more indie movies or whatever the fuck it is and i don't think she needs that i think she could do
all these things without the podcast i don't think jason that. I think she could do all these things without the podcast.
I don't think Jason. Well, hear me play devil's advocate. Yeah, sure.
Nobody needs anything at some point. Right. So what do you want? And let me say this.
If you're at certain points in your career, you may just want to keep trying new shit because it's unique and new. It's you know why it's me joining TikTok. It's like, why the fuck are we on TikTok?
Well, I think it's funny
and I like putting up clips on there.
But it's certainly not made for people in their fucking
40s. No. TikTok's made
for fucking 20-year-olds. But TikTok is also
you could argue that it's just part of society.
I know, but I didn't need to join it.
But I did want to join it to put out more shit on there.
I would disagree with you. You might have needed to join it.
You might have...
You mean career-wise, like it's a necessity?
Dude, we are actively functioning in an environment
where we have to sell a product 24-7.
And it's us.
It never ends.
Yeah.
You never don't have to sell tickets.
Yeah.
And it doesn't matter your odds of selling out the room
versus not selling out the room.
What matters is, is that gigs will keep getting booked and you have to promote properly every one of those gigs or they don't sell.
Sure.
And TikTok and a podcast and Instagram, all of that helps you do that.
Right.
The people that do these things that don't need to worry about that, I don't fucking understand it.
Now, I'm not saying Julia Lee Dreyfuss doesn't have to worry about selling tickets.
She has to sell movie tickets.
She's in that new A24 movie coming out.
But does she have to sell tickets?
Yeah, kind of.
But I'm saying, what happens if you said to me, brother, you've got more money than God?
I will never say that to you.
Nobody will. Nobody will Nobody will
If anybody said it though
You've got more money than God
You have beyond generational money
What are you gonna do?
I'm not gonna worry about selling fucking tickets
See, but I would argue
Because you love all this shit
You'd probably still do a lot of shit
I'm not saying I wouldn't do shit You'd be fucking bored out of your mind If you didn't do anything I'd probably still do a lot of shit i'm not saying
i wouldn't do shit fucking bored out of your mind if you didn't do anything i'm not saying i wouldn't
do shit like you have you ever spent a week well in the countryside here's a positive way of looking
at what she did what she's doing maybe in her head she's going you know what i do this because
i'm lucky enough for people to still want to book me in things. And I want to help those things do what they need to do.
And here's the other side.
Maybe that's what it is.
She's also fucking great.
So it's kind of like one more thing for her to have fun with.
She's fucking funny and smart.
Right.
That's the other thing.
She might just want to have fucking fun.
Yeah.
You know what?
And make a million bucks while doing it.
At least.
Yeah.
This might be the thing that she has the most fun.
That's what's ironic.
Here's the only part that bothers me, dude.
And this bothers you too.
So don't go diplomat on me here. I know. I'm's advocate but just because i like to see the other side of it because i agree with you on certain
things but i also know i'm sure people say uh i'm sure someone at one point in my career is
gonna go why is he doing that and it's like maybe he fucking wants to i don't know maybe he just
maybe it's a free that i get maybe it's a getaway
from the norm
does it bother you
a little bit though
now
you're on
one of the
biggest podcasts
out there right now
period
yeah
period
like Bad Friends is
no it's a global
it's globally it's ranked
yeah it's big
yeah
so
very blessed
I'm stoked
so you
but let's take Bad Friends away
sure
pretend Bad Friends isn't there would it bother you a little bit this is the part of it that bothers me a little bit and I'm stoked. So you, but let's take bad friends away. Sure. And bad friends isn't there.
Would it bother you a little bit? This is the part of it that bothers me a little bit. And I'm not
saying my shows, my shows don't make, my shows make the money they make and it's pretty consistent,
right? Yeah. So I don't know that this is even something to think about. What concerns me a
little bit though, about the celebrity infiltration of podcasting is it will become homogenized.
It will become corporatized even more.
I agree.
And it will get to a point where they say there is no more advertising money unless
you, now it's true that you have to reach a certain bar now, but that bar used to be
ours and that bar, and it used to be.
It was ours.
It was our world.
It was independent.
It was an indie world of like, we get to decide.
Yeah.
And it's kind of like all of us independently.
I remember doing podcasts with Bobby Kelly on a phone line where you had to record it.
Yeah.
And it sounded like a phone call.
Like, it sounded like, shh, yeah, shh, you know?
It had the phone distortion.
Because you had to call a phone.
And we would lose it sometimes.
Yeah.
You'd hit the wrong button at the end and you'd lose the whole episode.
Yeah. You'd hit the wrong button at the end and you'd lose the whole episode. Yeah.
So I'm not sitting here like I'm a fucking pioneer of podcasting.
No, but we were all a part of it, comics at least.
A lot of us were a part of it.
We all contributed.
For a long time.
And it feels a little like once again the celebrities are drifting in.
Once again the thing we start is being taken over by somebody else.
And you know. And you being a fucking music head, you feel like this is being taken over by somebody else. And you know.
And you being a fucking
music head,
you feel like this is
a thing that happens
in the music industry
constantly.
Look man,
my favorite movie genre
on planet earth
and my favorite thing
to write
and my favorite thing
to read is horror
and watch is horror,
collect horror.
I love,
I am so fucking happy
that Jordan Peele
won that Oscar for Get Out,
and then horror didn't even get sneezed at the following year.
I never want horror at the award shows.
Yeah.
It will fucking ruin it like the award shows have ruined every other genre of filmmaking.
Well, they kicked out comedy.
It doesn't even exist now.
It doesn't.
And look at the shit they nominate and say. It's a comedy,
I know. Yeah. Barbie's a comedy.
Yeah.
It'll be like a movie about, like, stage four cancer
and they're, like, deeply hilarious.
Oppenheimer, up for comedy.
Funny parts in it.
It's the same thing. You're right.
To keep it separated helps
the sanity of
things that you love.
Sometimes.
Sometimes it's unavoidable.
Things are going to get swept away.
They're going to become big.
It's the same way I feel about comics of ours that are friends that are huge.
Or friends of mine that became famous that I know, that I've known for 20 years.
That I'm like, they're going to get swept away a little bit.
Some things are out of your control.
Like this thing is out of our control.
At some point, it was going to be popular enough
because we wanted it to be popular.
The irony is you want more people to listen to it.
Well, the more people that listen,
the more of an industry it creates.
The more of an industry it creates,
the more the industry wants in.
So who do we blame it on, Kanye?
Who are you blaming this on?
Say what you really want to say, Joe.
As I said earlier, I think like the Jews.
Like the Italians? No, the Jews. I'm kidding. No, no, Joe. As I said earlier, I think like the Jews. Like the Italians?
No, the Jews.
I'm kidding.
No, no, no.
He's not kidding.
Ladies at home, ladies and gentlemen at home, please cancel him.
But listen, here's the thing, dude.
It's funny.
I wrote something the other day.
I don't know what I would put it in.
It's just something I wrote.
It was an interesting thought to me.
I said, you know, when you love a band, band you love a band from day one it's like being
a parent you love them when nobody else loves them unconditionally you're in the show when there's
only 10 people you're there supporting them as they fall and try and whatever. And that's why it hurts and makes you so mad when they become huge.
Because it's the kid saying, I don't need you anymore.
I don't need you anymore.
Look at all of this.
I have everything I need.
I'm all grown up.
Look at all the love I get out.
You know what I mean?
Right.
And it makes you a little resentful.
You know, there's a little empty nest, whatever.
You know?
So, like, I don't want to see that happen with,
not that I don't want to see things I love become successful
or friends of mine become successful
or bands I love, whatever.
But I also don't want to see things that I love
become completely homogenized
because it's the same in my head.
It's analogous, it's the same thing.
It's just kind of a
bummer.
The celebrity podcasts...
We gotta move on.
We do. It feels like mom dancing.
It's like
you have the rap record on and mom comes over.
Okay, gang!
A hop, a hippet to the hippet.
You're like, Aunt Sheila, don't do that.
Yeah.
Stop it.
I love Smartless, though, and I'm going to listen to Julia's podcast.
I really do like Smartless.
This is all a big plug for their podcast.
I really do like it.
I like the three of them together a lot.
Yeah, man.
And I got to listen to Julia's thing.
It's actually great.
That's why it worked.
And that's why, you know, that's how they'll drown in money.
They'll Scrooge McDuck their way.
Speaking of which, dude, this Apple watch, wow.
What about it?
What are you, a billionaire?
You showing off the big one?
You got the big one with the-
The small one looked stupid on my wrist.
What I don't like, and this is me, it's rude.
Because you know I love you as a friend.
But the Mickey Mouse of it all bothers the shit out of me.
I think it's fun.
I don't.
I just don't.
I just, with the Disney stuff, it's so weird to me.
I don't like it.
I'm not a big Disney guy.
But having Mickey Mouse on your watch is a big leap for me. I don't like it. I'm not a big Disney guy. But having Mickey Mouse
on your watch is a big leap for me.
As an adult male.
And I don't mean it condescendingly.
I'm just saying like, I would like it
if you could. When we go out to dinner, could you
change it to something that's more appropriate?
How many people do you
think know who's on your shirt? Truly.
Everybody goes, is that Debbie Harry?
Debbie Harry? Debbie Harry?
Everybody thinks it's Debbie Harry, who's also awesome.
But that's kind of an okay guess.
That could be a distorted—
It's clearly Dolly Parton.
It doesn't matter.
That could be a distorted Debbie Harry, maybe.
That's not that bad of a guess.
No, but it's clearly Dolly Parton.
Yeah, no, it is.
It's undoubtedly Dolly Parton.
I get it.
But I just think that's not as bad
of a guess
if it could have been
this could be a
you know
if somebody guesses
a current
if someone's like
is that a
Taylor Swift
is that Taylor Swift
who is that
that would bother you
exponentially
oh that would
I'd be like
go fuck you
fucking mouth
in here
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Ginger.
I like gingers.
This is a feel-so-good.
I talked about these guys
on, I think...
Feel-so-good is a company that makes it?
Somewhere. It might have been your mom's house. Yeah, there's a company
in Austin called Feel-so-good.
And I'm going to plug them again
now, because after I plugged them wherever I did,
they DM'd me and said that they
would maybe send me free stuff. Well, I'm not going do that on this show but i love i i really do love
them and this is my favorite t-shirt and they make this is i bought this shirt twice now in my
lifetime you don't have to buy why would you buy it twice because the first one i wore it out well
feel so good should send you new ones you should feel so good that would feel so good that would
feel you don't feel so good a new box of good That would feel You know what would feel so good? A new box of shirts
On my fucking doorstep
When I get home
Oh I wear a lodge
Anyway
No so
Moving away from
All this
Bullshit
The last time that we were together
Can I say something really quick?
Yeah
Just before you say this
You know what's funny?
That started
And went into bitching
about celebrity podcasts what it started with was i was basically saying it is a disgrace the amount
of money we're all making for podcasts and we should and then it goes yeah yeah it should be
shut it off shut it down shut it off turn off the show right now you got people like becoming
millionaires like sitting around being like i I prefer this kind of car oil.
It's fucking crazy.
It's crazy.
Yeah, it's bad.
Anyway.
All right, sorry.
Go ahead.
Anyway, the last time I saw you, well, the last time we were together together outside was in Austin.
Okay.
And I got to tell you, I saw some of your stuff that you were working on and I watched you because you did a spot
and
I thought
maybe it is time
for a DeRosa hour
thank you
and where is it?
well the stuff I did
at your show
wasn't from the hour
it was just
but where is this hour?
I'm touring with it
right now
when is it
when are you gonna push it
to the world?
I had a meeting today
about shooting it
we finally figured out
where we wanna to shoot it.
And where?
Announce it on my show.
I'm not going to say it.
Say it on my show.
It's not because it's not locked in yet.
We know where we're shooting.
We'll just say it for fun.
No.
Not yet.
If I guess it, you'll say yes.
Nashville.
No.
Denver.
Nope.
Miami.
No.
Oh, Atlanta.
No.
I know I should shoot it.
I should shoot it on the Joker's cruise next year.
Has anybody done that?
Has anybody done a special from a cruise ship?
No, Joe.
No, right?
For a good reason.
No, I know where I want to shoot it.
I know when I want to release it.
It's ready.
It's beyond ready at this point.
I'm torn with it right now. It's called, I know this much. It point. I'm touring with it right now.
It's called, I know this much.
It's called I Never Promised You a Rose Garden.
That's the name of the tour.
That will be the name of the hour.
Nice.
I've been out with it for, it's just been great, man.
I just was in Nashville, Charleston.
I came, I did LA.
I did San Diego.
I did San Fran.
Do you take someone with you?
No.
San Fran.
No.
If I have a friend in the city that I'm in,
I ask a friend to come do it.
And if I don't, I'll just say,
hey, who are some funny people around here?
When you just said,
I never promised you a rose garden, when you said
before that, I think is a good name for a special.
I know this much.
I know this much?
Yeah. I think I'm going to do that. I know this much. I don much I think I'm going to do that
I know this much
I don't like it
I don't like it
I know this much
I know this much
I like the wordplay
on like no what I'm saying is
I know this much
but I don't like that it sounds like
I know this much
that's exactly what it sounds like I don't like it I it sounds like I know this much That's exactly
What it sounds like
I don't like it
I know this much
I don't like it
I know this much
I don't like
Titles or specials
That are like
Phrases that like
Your uncle would say
You said
I never promised you
A rose garden
Yeah
That's yours
Yeah
That's a phrase
My uncle says it to me
All the time
No he doesn't
You know what I mean
Like when a guy's like
My new special is called and so on.
And so on.
No.
I don't like titles like that.
Actually, I'll tell you this.
I don't like titles of specials.
Why did you call your special Cheeseburger?
It had a whole bit in it about I was having a –
I should watch the whole thing.
No, it's worthless.
No, it's not.
No, no, no.
There was a bit in there about me having an anxiety i had this big anxiety attack and i was going through this tough time
because of family stuff and um and in in so many words i just said um i was worried about
the business and this and that and how to, and I was overanalyzing everything I was doing.
And I was just saying, like, I don't want to be anything else than other than what, I don't want to try anymore to, like, think about, worry about what other people need and want.
Right.
And I just, for some reason, was saying, I just want to be a cheeseburger.
I just want to be something that you have and that you love,
and then when you're done with it, you're good.
I don't need to be remembered forever.
It's not like I'm trying to be deep metaphorically about it.
I'm just saying I just want simplicity.
And cheeseburger, everyone likes it.
I don't give a fuck who you are.
Everyone wants a cheeseburger, and when you have them,
you go, God damn, that's good, and that's it.
And I was just saying, why am I worried so much about what other people think
and feel about the details?
It's a fucking curse, dude.
It's a curse.
That's what I mean.
So the whole thing was a panic attack leading to me being like,
I jokingly said to my wife, I just want to be a goddamn cheeseburger.
I just want to be something simple and fucking like a nothing.
I just want to be nothing.
I just want to have it, hey this is great and then walk away
i don't need there's this weird thing in our business of people wanting to be remembered
forever i think it's sick really wild it's sick it's gross i appreciate the stamp sure i appreciate
like a moment in time well like like like when when emily from the comedy store called me right before Christmas.
She's like, hey, dude, you're going on the wall.
You're going to be a paid regular.
It's awesome.
It was something I wanted so badly when I lived here.
And it just wasn't the time.
It wasn't going to happen.
There's a lot of.
Yeah, politics.
Whatever you want to call it.
Politics.
And I kind of just forgot about it.
I just forgot about it. I just forgot about it.
And when she called me, I got a little bit emotional.
And I said, I told my parents.
And I go, it's nice because it proves I was here.
I was here.
I was part of it.
Yeah.
As long as that building is there.
You know what I mean? Until it gets ripped down and sold as a fucking weed shop. I was here. I was part of it. Yeah. As long as that building is there. You know what I mean?
Until it gets ripped down and sold as a fucking weed shop.
Yeah, exactly.
And they paint over my name to pass a door guy.
Some homeless guy pissing on it.
But, so there is a little bit in the, like,
I'm glad I did records with Comedy Central.
I'm glad to own some of my own records.
I'm glad I did other ones with Comedy Central that I'll never own. Why? Because those are Viacom owned and they'll probably just
be here long after I'm dead. Sure. You know what I mean? Yeah. The, the, the indie stuff is a lot
harder, you know, it's like, I'm not going to have some estate, like, you know what I mean?
Or whatever. So like, so there's a little bit of a, of, of, of, of a, of a bit of a pride or whatever you want to call it in leaving something behind, which it's nice.
Sure.
But I agree with you.
It's sick.
It's gross.
There's a sickness that people have of becoming the legend or becoming this or becoming that.
And it's never.
I have so many friends where I'm like like when is it going to be enough dude like
when when yeah when do you just go fuck man i'm good like yeah that's i think if you're blessed
enough to be at a place where you're making a career doing what you love that's why i talked
about in that regard i was like i fucking give a shit i don't give a fuck if you don't like me i
don't i'm not trying to flip you if you're like, I'm not a fan. It's not my job to get everyone's love and adoration
to make sure that I'm cemented forever as this image. I'm going to keep changing. My career is
going to keep moving. I'm going to make good shit. I'm going to make bad shit. I don't fucking care.
And by the way, let me be very clear. When I said I have so many friends, I don't mean just
in entertainment. I know. I knew that was a lie when you said that. I was like, this guy does not
have a lot of friends. That's insane. I don't. People don't like me. I love you. I don't mean just in entertainment. I know. I knew that was a lie when you said that. I was like, this guy does not have a lot of friends.
That's insane.
I don't.
People don't like me.
I love you.
I know you do.
You're all I need.
Cheeseburger.
But I just mean friends across the board.
I have so many friends that do so many different things where you're just like, even emotionally,
it's like, when is it enough, man?
When do you fucking exhale and go, I'm just going to kind of breathe now and enjoy this and, like, whatever?
But there's this real, you know, yeah, but if I do this, though, then it could really mean this for my grandkids.
Fuck your grandkids.
Fuck people.
Let me say this on camera.
I mean this.
Fuck your grandkids.
Fuck your grandkids fuck your grandkids people that are
doing things because they're worried about their grandkids having money yeah fuck that is their
fucking problem it is batshit to me it is it's batshit man you get to go around once
you know and and and and once for a handful of decades if you're fucking lucky.
And your shitbag grandkids are going to get your money and not give a fuck about you.
You're gone.
They will think about you sometimes.
It's not your job to leave money to your kids.
It is your job to provide for them until they can provide for themselves
and their legal adults it's nice that you want to give them things but it is not your fucking job
to be like i got to make sure that when my kids when it's time for them to buy a house i got the
down payment covered get the fuck out of here dude if you can do it great but you're gonna bust
your fucking back to do that you're gonna not you're gonna go instead of just having a
regular life that i enjoy and doing enough for my kids and enough meaning above and beyond by any
other country's fucking standards on planet earth yeah you go nah i'm gonna make myself miserable
and stress myself out so i can do more for them than they would ever have any right to fucking
expect from and there's no way they could ever appreciate it because they could never truly understand it.
It's bad for them.
Because they never had to feel it.
Yeah, it's bad for them.
Yeah, it's gross.
I used to get mad.
I used to get mad at my parents.
The way you licked your lips after you said it, you're like, I used to get fucking mad.
I used to get so mad at my parents.
And I was an asshole for this.
Because they couldn't
give me money for shit.
Fucking.
I had so many friends that were buying their first houses in their early 30s, and I was
like, how are you doing this?
And they're like, oh, mom and dad gave me the down payment and co-signed and whatever,
and that just wasn't the right.
And now I'm glad, because I'm like, taught me.
I'm happy that I didn't have that.
Knuckled the fuck up, dude.
I did get jealous when I saw people that had that kind of help.
It did bum me the fuck out.
Of course.
Where I was like, how do you have a house when we're 26 years old and I have four roommates?
But it probably makes you stronger.
And it also makes failure so much easier.
Then when you do fail you're like
whatever dude
I've already had it
yeah
when somebody has to
take an L
after they've been
spoiled their whole life
they don't
they collapse
that's why you see
people have like
crazy breakdowns
because they cannot
fucking believe
it didn't work out
a little bit
terror is so good
it's so good for you terror is so good that's's so good for you.
Terror is so good.
Yeah.
That's why you love horror.
You love.
Dude, I have a whole thing in my act about evil.
Evil is good.
Yeah.
Evil is good.
People want to eliminate evil.
Evil is good.
Evil is what drives fear.
Fear is what creates dignity.
Fear is what makes you do the right things.
Like, evil is beautiful.
It has to be part of this whole equation.
You take it away.
You got kids who don't understand what the fuck to appreciate.
You have people that don't understand what the fuck to appreciate.
So what you just said about you take an L, it makes you stronger, right?
My buddy Jones, he said once, he told me when he did ayahuasca he and he was like this was years
and years ago this is like when nobody was doing it and you had to like go before it was cool yeah
it's like when you had to literally go down to like a jungle and do it like south america yeah
you were like in for a penny in for a pound like wow there's we're here this is happening if we die
we die yeah and he go i go what was it goes, dude, I'll never fear anything again in my life.
I stared into the eyes of a fucking demon.
I was like, holy shit, dude.
I believe everything he's saying.
Yeah.
And that's what we're talking about.
The L is the demon, dude.
You stare into the eyes of it and you go, bro, I've been here.
I've been here. I've been here.
I've been.
I can only speak for myself.
I've been buh-roke.
Two syllables broke.
Two syllables broke.
Buh-roke.
Yeah, yeah.
Talking about it on stage to the point where people, when I get off stage, comedian friends
will be like, yo, dude, is that all really happening?
I'm like, uh-huh. And they'd be like yo dude is that all really happening i'm like uh-huh and they'd be like dude i'm sorry like that's cool man see you the next
spot yeah on the next spot uh i've been there dude and like it sucks it fucking sucks dude going
two years without health insurance and whatever the fuck it is.
Makes you appreciate shit, though, dude, when you get it, you know?
Yeah, that's for sure.
You know?
And I'm far from easy fucking living now, but it's like, god damn, dude. I'm like, I appreciate the shit I have, dude.
You know?
Yeah, because you see the other side.
Yeah.
If you never see it, you'll never know.
Have you been there?
Oh, my god, dude.
I first moved here with no money
Yeah
No money
No money
No money
And I never had a safety net
I never was like the
I mean my safety net was
I could move back in
With my parents in Chicago
It was never gonna be like
Here's some money
For your apartment
Or rent or whatever
The safety net would be
You'd have to come home
You could sleep in my house
But you're not gonna funnel you money Yeah exactly sleep in my house, but we're not going to funnel you money.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, so the fear was like I just had to scrounge to make sure I didn't have to move home.
That was my biggest fear because then I was a failure to myself because I didn't try hard enough or just find a way to make money.
And now I'm at home again.
And there's nothing wrong with living at home it was
just i moved far away to try and i felt like i have to do everything to make sure i don't just
go home sure but yeah dude i was making fucking four hundred dollars a week before taxes uh
scrounging for money trying to rent an apartment you know living in an apartment and in a city
like this it's it's almost impossible.
Yeah, it was ridiculous.
I remember the nights.
I only had a couple of nights where I did have the, am I going to be allowed to get away with not paying rent?
I had a few of those nights.
To not pay rent was, that was my fear.
It was like, look, I didn't go starving.
But, yeah, I remember that whole, I remember that, it's right around the corner, dude. I had time, we're all two't go starving, but yeah, I remember that. I remember that.
It's right around the corner, dude.
I had time.
We're all two ticks away from it. Yeah, it was right around the corner.
It's, you know, but, you know, I had two stretches in my life where I got so, well, no, I'm sorry.
There was one in particular.
I was so broke.
I had so much anxiety.
I got adult acne. I got full on, like, acne. I'm sorry, but that's so broke. I had so much anxiety. I got adult acne.
I got full-on, like, acne.
I'm sorry, but that's so fucking funny, dude.
Dude, and I'm talking, like, this is how bad it was.
I'm not kidding.
This is how bad it was.
I was in a store one day, like a clothing store,
and the clerk, the sales guy, like, pulled me aside privately.
And he's like, hey, man, I've been where you're at.
You should try this for your acne.
And I was like, Jesus Christ, dude.
Like it was, I had full on fucking acne.
Dude, and my opening joke.
That's so good that a dude is like, hey, man, I know what's going on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Comedian, right?
Comedian, yeah.
Broke comedian.
My opening joke.
Are you broke?
My opening joke, like that whole year, and it was true, I said, let me, I'm going to fuck it up.
No, fuck it up.
It's your joke.
It doesn't matter.
It was something like, but it was true.
I said, well, I'll tell you how my year is going.
I'm 35.
I think I was.
I'm 35, and I have such bad acne.
I have such bad acne, I had to start using Proactiv.
Or that's what it was.
I'm 35, and I have such bad acne that I had to go to the mall to get Proactiv.
And that would get a laugh.
And then I go, here's the sadder part.
My dad had to buy it for me.
To call your dad.
And that's true.
It was true.
Your old man had to buy you a present.
My dad was driving me home from Christmas back to New York, and he took me to the King
of Pressure Plaza and bought me proactive.
Yeah.
It was dark. But, you know, fuck iture Plaza and bought me Proactiv. Yeah. It was dark.
But, you know, fuck it, dude.
Well, who cares?
Yeah.
It's also a good joke, so you got something out of it.
Yeah, that happens.
And then one day you buy a house, and you're like, wow, man, I really appreciate this house.
Yeah, you really hold on to it because you did it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know?
Like, it's fucked up, you know?
No, but there's something so nice about it
because also you know it makes you appreciate uh other people that have worked for things like a
guy in our neighborhood the other day so funny we're i'm leaving my neighborhood that i'm in
and we're walking through talking about details and I noticed this guy has a bunch of chickens in his yard.
A fucking, a fuckload.
People do that a lot now.
Yeah, it's a big thing.
Yeah.
But this older Mexican guy comes out and he's like, sees us seeing it.
He's like, you like the chicken?
And I was like, yeah, we just, I've never, I don't think I've, I passed the house.
I've never seen it.
He's like, nine.
I got nine chickens.
And I was like, wow, that's great.
And he's like, no, it's terrible.
My wife, my son, they like chickens.
I like my garden.
The chickens fuck up my garden.
But I love my wife and my son.
And I was like, this dude, it was a beautiful,
it was like you could tell he cared more about the hole than himself.
He was like, fuck it.
But you could tell he really appreciated the fuck out of his space.
He had lemon, lime, avocado, sugar cane.
He had so much stuff and he was so proud of it.
Like so fucking proud of it.
And I thought at some point it's time for us to leave.
You know, it's like, all right, this dude could have talked to us.
He wanted someone to talk to about it for hours.
And he was just very proud.
You could tell he's extremely proud of his shit.
This wasn't a fancy house.
It's not a big house.
You know, it's like, I'm sure he worked his dick off for it.
So he really gave a fuck.
Like he truly, so much so that he's like, he's like, can you stay here for a minute?
I said, yeah.
And he comes back out generously with a whole bunch of shit, like a carton of eggs from
the chickens and all this.
Wow.
And he just gets, and you know, of course.
It's incredible.
Yeah. all this wow and he just get and you know of course it's incredible yeah and my wife and not
not to discredit her but also my brain it's like do we offer him so do we have to get give him
something because that's your brain goes to like don't i have to pay for this or isn't this a yeah
and i was like no this is the difference this guy just wanted to share what he's proud of
you know and this is a rare thing in our culture right back to his wife he's
like these rich gringo fucking time we're gonna lose the house we're gonna lose the house because
the chicken business isn't fucking working out there with his hand people keep thinking the eggs
are free yeah i give them the aid they just walk away they don't pay it was like the sweetest shit
that's great but it was because he was proud of
his shit so my neighbors just wanted to show off his shit my neighbors uh are spanish-speaking
yeah um i'm not sure where from where it doesn't matter but but but they speak spanish they'd speak very, very little English, very little. And when I first moved in, like, this guy would see me, like, pulling, like, a chair out of my truck that I bought for the house or whatever.
And he would, like, jump up off his porch and run over and help me.
And it was so sweet.
And what's your name, man?
Carlos.
Hi, Carlos.
I'm Joe.
But that was literally all he could say
like he didn't understand nothing yeah and um and then like it was amazing dude one day he came over
and he he he was sitting on his porch it was a friday afternoon it was like right after work
and uh he was sitting on his porch he had a case of of Coronas. Like a cooler, I mean, of Coronas. And he had the limes with the fucking, what's that red shit?
The hot?
Tahin.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he's like, hey, hey, hey.
And I like nod and he goes.
And he had his phone out.
And he had the translator app open.
No.
Yeah.
And it just said, would you like to have a beer with me?
This is the fucking, I'm going to, what is it, a Disney movie?
Isn't that beautiful?
This is so beautiful. I know. I'm going to cry what is it, a Disney movie? Isn't that beautiful? This is so beautiful.
I know.
I'm going to cry.
Yeah, and then.
And you're like, no.
I said I couldn't actually.
I really couldn't.
I couldn't.
I was like, I can't today.
Yeah.
But then another guy from his family who spoke a little more English came out.
And I met him and we were talking.
And I was like, I can't.
Please tell Carlos I'm sorry that I cannot have a beer today.
I can't today. But Carlos I'm sorry that I cannot have a beer today. I can't today.
But do you guys like to drink?
Because I will drink with you later.
And the guy just goes, when Friday comes, if we have money, we drink.
And I was like, all right, man.
I'll be back.
They were awesome.
They're awesome.
I still see them all the time.
They're fucking great.
Yeah, my neighbor neighbor This is so funny
It reminds me
When I first
The first like year
I think I was in the neighborhood
My neighbor's a British dude
Older British dude
So the most chill motherfucker
On earth
You forget
Old OG British guys
They're tough to go toe to toe with
Like this dude
Can fucking drink Like he was like Yeah they're no to go toe-to-toe with. Like, this dude can fucking drink.
Like, he was like...
Yeah, they're no fucking...
They're like...
It was unbelievable.
They're like, go back to the fucking office
after four fucking whiskeys.
Four...
And also, they could drink just six pints of beer
and just like, let's go out and get something.
You're like, we've been drinking...
I came home and...
That is their thing, the pint.
They love a pint. They love it, dude. I mean, it came home. That is their thing, the pint. They love a pint.
They love it, dude.
I mean, it's good.
I can't argue with them.
I love a good pint.
It's great, dude, but they drink it like it's water, dude.
I know.
My stomach just gets bloated after a while.
He was like, come over.
He loves Old Speckled Hen.
Do you know what Old Speckled Hen is?
Yeah, it's great.
It's pretty good.
But he loves Old Speckled Hen.
And he said, oh, come on over.
Come on, just have one.
I said, honestly, dude, I have such a full night.
It's crazy.
He goes, come on, one.
And you know, you're the same way.
I go over there.
Holy fucking shit.
Now I'm like six deep.
My wife gets home.
She's like, where are you at?
I'm like, next door.
Come over.
And she comes over and she sees I'm smashed.
And thankfully, his wife was home. And she was like, you are you at? I'm like, next door. Come over. And she comes over and she sees I'm smashed. And thankfully, his wife was home.
And she was like, you want a glass of wine?
And her and my wife were just off to the races.
I mean, dude, we didn't get back into the home.
We didn't cross back over into our yard until like, I don't know, 1130 at night.
It was like 4 p.m. when I showed up to have one fucking beer.
Yeah, dude, that's awesome.
But it was rad because it was just like,
sometimes when you're in a good spot,
like that, time goes away.
Most of our life is constrained by time.
That it's like, dude, I gotta, we gotta, we have to.
It's so nice once in a while to be like, fuck it.
And just disappear.
You should have had a beer with that fucking dude on the porch.
I regret it because I don't know. He died.
He's not around.
I haven't seen him in forever.
I don't know that he even.
Shit, I hope he's not dead.
No, no.
I think he might have just been visiting or something.
Like, I don't know.
Oh, he's not even.
Right.
I saw him a lot when I first moved in.
He could have been.
And then, like, you know.
He could have been deported.
I called.
I called.
You called INS?
Yeah, this illegal's on his porch trying to give away beer.
To underage kids.
But yeah, I don't see him as often, so I don't know if he's around or not.
I hope he's still around.
You know, I'll tell you the reverse of what we're talking about.
Yeah.
My neighbor's on the other side.
It snowed.
They still haven't introduced themselves, which is bothering me.
This is Pennsylvania, not New York.
Yeah.
I'm the new guy.
Yeah.
You introduce yourself to me.
I don't come knock on your door like, hey, I just moved in.
It's actually creepy if you knock on their door.
Right?
That's weirdo status.
By the way, I've now knocked on the door twice to finally introduce myself because they're not coming over they weren't home two times they've
been on their porch like getting food delivered and i'll just happen to be walking out my door
and i'm like oh hey and they just ignore me it fucking snowed i'm like i'm gonna get these
motherfuckers i shoveled their fucking walk and their sidewalk and their steps to their porch and salted all of it for them.
God, yeah, yeah.
And they didn't come say thank you.
I love these people.
I want to go over and be like, I'm just curious.
Who do you think did that?
The city.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The city does think did that? The city. Yeah.
The city does it, right?
It's pretty impressive, though.
This passive-aggressive act on you, on your behalf, this super passive-aggressive.
No, I swear to you, it might be.
Maybe it is.
100%. But I didn't mean it passive-aggressively.
I really was trying to be neighborly, like finally like a gesture that maybe they'll just come say hello.
Okay, so what you should do just for fun is blow it up.
Now do something super over the top.
I mean.
Something ridiculous.
At this point, I'm like, I got carte blanche now.
You can do whatever you want.
Yeah, exactly.
You know, so.
But you've seen these people.
I've seen the wife and who I assume
is the daughter. Yeah. How would
you know? I can't tell because she's...
Now, do you think these people are creepy and evasive because
they are
just introverts or perhaps they're
hiding something?
I don't think it's like the burbs where they're
like, you know, they're murdering people in the
basement or anything. I just think that they're...
I don't know. Maybe they're just not friendly. I'd like to make up a story that they really have something that they're murdering people in the basement or anything. I just think that they're, I don't know, maybe they're just not friendly.
I'd like to make up a story that they really have something that they're hiding.
I honestly don't know.
You know, I don't know.
I don't know.
They killed Carlos.
Does this make perfect sense?
I'll tell you what's weird.
It does.
It does make perfect sense.
Our front lawns are pretty small.
Yeah.
And there's the guy next to me and then the guy, Carlos' house, and then the guy next to Carlos.
They mow your grass.
Like if one guy goes out to mow his front, he'll mow the people on either side.
Sure.
Just as a good gesture.
Because it's kind of easy.
Yeah, yeah.
It takes 10 seconds.
And I'm actually going to buy a mower in March so I can do that when the weather gets nice for them.
But they never mowed this guy's front.
And he doesn't mow it.
This goes deep.
So I'm like, something's going on in that house, man.
Like, I don't know what it is.
He said one racial slur once on the way home. And now his wife's like, we can't talk to anybody.
Never seen him.
He was in his truck one day, the guy.
I like this mystery neighbor shit.
I was walking out of my house with my dad, and we were walking out the back, because the parking's in the back.
We were walking out the back to my driveway, and he was in his truck.
And he was, like, just starting it up and getting ready to go somewhere and I saw him and I go
to my dad and I go, that's the neighbor over there.
And he didn't come say, like who
the fuck doesn't come say hi?
It's weird, right?
It's fucking weird.
There's one family on our block.
This Russian couple, they're young
and they got a young kid.
I've said hi. It's a joke for all of them kid I've said hi it's a joke for all
I've said hi
no less than 20
30 times at this point
never
once
reciprocated
it's interesting
do you think
there's a chance
they speak clear English
I've heard them talk
oh okay
well I was gonna ask you
I've heard them speak to people
do you think there's a chance
they're here like
cause Russian
they're here legally
and maybe they don't wanna
no no no they're here legally there's no doubt they're here, like, because Russian, they're here legally and maybe they don't want to. No, no, no.
They're here legally.
There's no doubt.
They're here legally.
Yeah, she's a fucking nurse.
I see her when she goes to work.
Okay.
And he's got a business.
I could tell.
Look, they.
They're just cunts.
They don't.
No, no.
They do not want to.
They do not care to associate with anybody but people they already know.
They have people over all the time.
But I've spoken to other people about this. The part I don't get is, is who doesn't say hi? associate with anybody but people they already know they have people over all the time but i've
spoken to other people the part i don't get is who doesn't say hi i think it's just like i'm not
interested in you type of shit it's like hello because because we're just being neighborly
whatever whatever that means and i think some people are just like i don't know do you think
it's like a thing where he's like in russia you don't you don't engage because it means you're inviting a
friendship or something in mother russia you don't say hi to neighbor yeah i mean i liked how you
broke right into that it was very russia it was very dan soda of you well we're both very talented
that is true that is true he loves a voice that kid yeah Yeah, you know why? Because my whole childhood was voices and sounds and noises.
Yeah.
I wasn't deprived like you.
I wasn't.
It's the best.
All right, Joey, soon we have to go because I want to put food in our bellies before we do a set tonight.
I know you're nervous about a 10-minute set for no reason.
15-er.
Yeah, they're all 15.
By the way, it's the same in New York.
Here's why I'm nervous.
It's 15 minutes in New York. Here's why I'm nervous. It's 15 minutes in New York.
Here's why I'm nervous.
Here's why I'm nervous.
Yeah.
It's my first time doing the store since the name went up.
Who cares?
And, you know, it's the fucking store.
It's going to be like Sebastian, Bert.
It's going to be all these crazy famous people.
And I'm going to be sandwiched in between all of them.
It's making me nervous.
Sandler's going to drop in and everyone's going to go,
oh my, I'm coming.
Wait to see how unimpressive the lineup is going to be.
You're going to go up there and it's going to be nobody.
Would it make you feel better if it's no one?
Oh, I would love that.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
It's going to be nobody.
I would love that.
But Emily said it's a really good lineup tonight.
Yeah, it is.
I saw.
Oh, you did?
Where do you see it?
How do you see the lineup? It's on fucking line. Oh, it is? Yeah.
Look it up right now.
Seriously, this is fun.
But really, don't do a bit. Really read it to me.
Okay. I want to do a
truthful thing here. Because it's funnier
if it's real and I get freaked out.
Oh, you do want to be freaked out.
I want it just to be real.
It's just going to be funnier if it's real.
Cat Williams.
Stop it.
Come on, do it for real.
Yeah, because you're in the OR, right?
I think.
You got to be.
Segura.
Segura.
It would be nice to see Tom.
I love Tommy.
Wait, are you in the...
Yeah, you're in the OR, right? You got to be. I don't know. Yeah, you got to be. Well, you're not in the yeah you're in the or right you got to be i don't know yeah you got to be
well you're not in the main maybe you are well the main is a lot easier main is me jessel nick
burt uh that's for any show though any show yeah you're not i'm not on any you're not
no 10 40 that's got to be the original oh no you're in the or then okay yeah the or is going to be uh you segura brad williams jesus trejo laura peak
that's all that this says the five of us are four of us no no it doesn't have the full full lineup
that's all they're posting right now they're already it's people that kill harder than i The five of us or four of us? No, no, it doesn't have the full, full lineup.
That's all they're posting right now.
Already it's people that kill harder than I want for this evening.
You're going to be totally fine.
You're going to be totally fine. Not only are you totally fine, who cares?
Yeah, you're right.
You've always done good.
Who cares?
I'm contradicting the whole I stared into the face of the demon thing.
Yeah, you are.
I'm getting like...
Yeah, because you need to stare in the face.
I'm getting nervous, and I'm like,
what if I bomb, and then they don't like me,
and then I...
Let's get you a veal parmesan,
and you won't care anymore.
We end the episode the same way.
Go to jodorosacomedy.com.
What is it called?
What's your website?
No, just jodorosa.com.
Go to jodorosa.com.
That's where you can find the tickets
to go see this gentleman.
He deserves to sell out everywhere he goes.
He's one of my best buddies, one of my favorite comedian friends.
That's also true because I have a lot of friends that I don't like their comedy.
And I'll put a list up right here of all the guys that I'm friends with.
My editor will put a list here of all the guys I'm friends with that I don't like their comedy.
And I love you, Joe, so much.
I love you. Thanks, buddy.
Rosie, Rosie, look in that camera.
Also, Joey Rose is in New York.
My.
Yeah.
Go to Joey Rose's bar and a sandwich shop, which we've talked about on our shows endlessly
and plugging because we love it.
Joey roses dot com.
That's open seven days a week.
Eleven thirty a.m.
Every day.
East Village, right?
Yeah.
Lower East Side.
Lower East Side.
Raven one seventy four.
Rivington Street.
Great sandwiches.
Awesome drinks.
Fun bar.
Come through and then come see me on the road.
Go see him on the road.
You know, we're also watch taste buds the road. Also watch Taste Buds.
Yes, please. What a fucking funny show.
And we'll see you in Hells, the other pod.
See you in Hell and Taste Buds.
Go see the boy.
Look in that camera right there. One word or one phrase
to end the episode. One word or one phrase.
I know this much.
In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.
You are that creature in the ginger beard.
Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Gingers are beautiful.
You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.
Gingers are hell no.
This whiskey is excellent.
Ginger.
I like gingers.