Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Joe Gatto

Episode Date: November 3, 2023

What up Whiskey Ginger fans in this episode, we have the hilarious Joe Gatto! Joe opens up about the hilarious antics, pranks, and challenges that have made "Impractical Jokers" a beloved TV show. He ...shares behind-the-scenes stories, the art of improv comedy, and the camaraderie that keeps the Jokers going strong. Beyond the laughter, Joe discusses his journey in the world of comedy, from his early days in improv to building a career that's all about making people laugh. You'll also hear about his favorite pranks, memorable moments from the show, and what it's like to tour with the "Impractical Jokers" live and his solo standup career. #joegatto #andrewsantino #whiskeyginger #podcast =================================================== SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS ZBIOTICS 15% OFF your order with Promo Code: WHISKEY https://zbiotics.com/whiskey RABBIT HOLE $5 OFF with Promo Code: WHISKEY https://rabbitholedistillery.com/drizly ========================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. We got a good one for you today. Like my man Steve Harvey done say, it's Jogado. Jogado! You know Jogado? Wonderful comedian, great comedic personality from the Impractical Jokers, as it were. He's on tour, he's jumping around the country, he's very funny. Go see the guy. Go see Jogado. Tell him Santina sent ya.
Starting point is 00:00:23 I'm also on tour, finishing up this year with Bobby Lee, me, and Bobo. We're doing Bad Friends Live. But, hey, it's more than that. It's not just a podcast. It's actually not a podcast at all. It's us doing live stand-up comedy. You get a big chunk of stand-up. Then you get bits from the show.
Starting point is 00:00:36 You get audience participation, interaction. It's so much fun. Got to come see us. Go to badfriendspod.com. Badfriendspod.com. We got Milwaukee, Chicago, Minneapolis, Madison coming up and then in the new year we jump over to Atlantic City, Salt Lake
Starting point is 00:00:50 City, Temecula, Reno Sacramento, Long Beach Windsor, Ontario, Canada then Niagara Falls, Canada, Tucson and we finish it off on 420 in Las Vegas dude come out and see us go to badfriendspod.com badfriendspod.com enough Badfriendspod.com.
Starting point is 00:01:05 Enough rambling from me. Let's go to the episode. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are fugitive. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $, by the way.
Starting point is 00:01:34 Oh, thank you. I'm a huge guy who likes sneakers. You're a sneak guy. No. Oh, you're not? No. That's funny. Because Sal is a freak.
Starting point is 00:01:42 It's hysterical. Me and Sal did that Joe LaPuma show together. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. It was hysterical because he knows everything about sneakers. I know nothing. And LaPuma was like, you guys got to come on. And I was like, you don't understand.
Starting point is 00:01:52 I just buy shoes by the look. I don't care whatever they are. And Sal's like, are those the new Hatchback 440s? And I'm like, I don't know, buddy. Hatchback 440s? Dude, are those the front boot? Are those the front boot 19s? He freaks out when I get a crease in them.
Starting point is 00:02:05 I'm like, if they don't have a crease, I don't feel like they're used. See, I'm like you. I have nice shoes. I saw. Well, those were gifts. But I have nice shoes, but I was a sneaker guy when I was younger. Yeah. I didn't care anymore.
Starting point is 00:02:18 Yeah. And then now people get appalled if I buy them. I'm wearing them. Oh, yeah. I'm ruining them. 100%. Take them right out of the plastic. What is the point? What are we doing? Like I am a big golfer and I have Michael Jordan. Jordan makes golf shoes now. Yeah. And I'm, you know, of course I was a big Jordan
Starting point is 00:02:33 brand guy when I was a kid. So it's like, wow, my childhood through golf now and making golf cool for the first time for whites, you know, and I bought all the Jordans and then some people are like, Whoa, dude, like, you know, those are, those are like so rare to get now and i'm like yeah yeah and they're like you're just ruining it's like opening a star wars figure yeah yeah for them they're like no it's a han solo original who gives a shit well otherwise that's my whole thing is like what are you gonna do i'm i guess i become that way about a lot of stuff not in a minimalist sense but like hey man whatever it what am i saving it for like what is the point i don't i never got that like you grew up with good sneakers no no no no because i grew up in the hood where i couldn't
Starting point is 00:03:15 have good sneakers no no i had voids i had voids a kmart brand boy they were like knockoff asics get your void on the best and i made them cool i. I really rocked them out, yeah. No, we didn't have, my mother couldn't afford like really nice stuff. I mean, I got, I probably got like a nice pair of Adidas, you know what I mean,
Starting point is 00:03:34 of shell toes or something. Yeah, I got a lot of those. That was a nice new shoe to wear to school. But no, my mom. Shell tops are my favorite. I give them like every color. They were so cool.
Starting point is 00:03:42 But my mom couldn't buy me a pair. There's the voids right there. Wow, those are clean. Yeah, baby. My God. I had, oh, that pair They were so cool. Yeah. But my mom couldn't buy me a pair. There's the Voights right there. Wow, those are clean. Yeah, yeah, baby. My God. I had, oh, that pair right there, the one in the middle, the blue in one.
Starting point is 00:03:49 Oh, yeah. That was me. I rocked those babies out. I used to do this thing where I used to pretend like they were cool and people were like, what makes Voights so cool?
Starting point is 00:03:57 I'd be like, it's the grip, bro. And I used to stay, my friend had a deep stoop and I used to jump on a stoop and be able to stand there and be able to believe it was the shoe.
Starting point is 00:04:05 It was so dumb. The deep grip. It's the deep grip, dog. Why, bro? That's why we get it. You're not worried about arch and grip. That's all I look for in shoes. Arch and grip, baby. We've already started, but I want to just give a proper introduction for our guest. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Kitchen. My guest today is one of my
Starting point is 00:04:22 favorite people. I don't know if I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again. Today is Jogado. You got to say it like that, don't you? Jogado. That's the only way I walk into a room. I feel, right? Hey, it's Jogado. But thank you for coming, buddy.
Starting point is 00:04:37 We started off talking about chews because you're wearing some cool hip chews, but I've had this discussion recently with a few people about using the thing that you buy or doing the thing that you buy. I think it comes with time and perspective because my old man is, you know, had a bunch of health complications. And the more that we're going through this as a family. Still here? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Thank God.
Starting point is 00:04:58 But the more that we go through this as a family, the more we're able to joke about stuff and the more we're like, we're doing it. Whatever it is, I don't care anymore. I'm done with like the well we'll save for the it's like no no go go do it and it's perspective like that yeah i know it's wild my dad got pancreatic cancer he died when i was 19 thanks for bringing it up yeah and i i did want a prize thanks for touting your live father in my face but uh two of them i was stepdad and a real dad yeah sorry fantastic i'll make one of them call you just send a card yeah um i uh when he he literally got he got diagnosed and he booked a family trip to vegas and he's like we're going to vegas and he told me he's like get a fake idea i want to gamble with you before i die
Starting point is 00:05:39 and he told me how to play blackjack in vegas which was awesome and i was like and i've always carried that throughout. It's always been like, it's only green paper. Like do what you can be responsible, but like have fun, spend it while you're here. Like, yeah, that's always been my thing. I've always been lived like that kind of like generous life or just like come along. Let's everybody just celebrate. What else can we do with it?
Starting point is 00:05:58 Yeah. And I think that really does add perspective. A hundred percent. When something, when some, someone you really love really love uh either passes or is going through something man your brain just kind of like it's different you get wires yeah reprogrammed yeah you're like this is all this is what's important right this is the only thing that matters right sure all the nonsense that you kind of you kind of keep in your brain about yeah and it's tough to get out of especially in our culture which i think the pandemic ironically
Starting point is 00:06:22 helped where people were like go to work do the thing go home do the thing do the thing do it you know what i mean like it kind of cracked that code of yeah is this how we should be living with each other right like seeing each other for you know four hours a day at most before you go to bed right because as a kid growing up both of my parents worked i mean shit my mom still won't retire and she won't no man she she runs marketing for a property management company that owns a bunch of um the big the larger companies that own all these high rises in chicago where we grew up when i was a kid we lived in these buildings that my mom's company worked for so i think we got a little perks well we got we got sectionated which was nice yeah because we you know we were able to
Starting point is 00:07:02 slide into a single-income, single-parent home. So these nicer apartment buildings, my mom got to apply through the company and was like, hey, I'm a single mother. And they're like, yeah, go ahead. Amazing. It was great.
Starting point is 00:07:13 So we lived in these nicer apartment buildings when it was just her and I. But, you know, she just won't retire. And they've worked my whole life. And when I was a kid, I didn't come home to like, you know, apple pies on the counter. I never, no way.
Starting point is 00:07:28 It was what's in the fridge. Find something. Yeah, what's loose. Yeah, what's loose. What's loose. Can he eat that? Can he eat that? Yeah, let's see.
Starting point is 00:07:37 On tonight's episode, we have meatloaf. So we think. No, it is true because when I was a kid, when I was little little when it was just me and my mom
Starting point is 00:07:46 I used to love to eat this is so gross but I used to love in the middle of the night if I wanted a snack I would watch Carson which she always said I would always turn on Carson
Starting point is 00:07:56 and I would watch Carson and eat cold hot dogs cold cold hot dogs but this is what's funny cooked or no? no see this is what's interesting straight dog from don't you know they're cooked? they're all cooked this is what's funny people go raw hot dogs like no. Cold hot dogs. But this is what's funny. Cooked or no? No, see, this is what's interesting. Straight dog from... Don't you know they're cooked?
Starting point is 00:08:06 They're all cooked. This is what's funny. People go, raw hot dogs. Like, no, they're never raw. They're always cooked. They're just cold. So I would eat them cold in front of the window and I'd watch Carson and I'd stare down at the traffic. Bunless, cold dog in it, watching Carson. Yeah, dude. Oh, wow. I'd raw glizzy, dude. I'd just eat it raw, baby.
Starting point is 00:08:22 And slices of American cheese. I guess it's no no i didn't snap it i ate it whole i'd suck it whole spit it out suck it all it's great it's pretty normal um i i guess it's just you were like uh innovative because that's just beef jerky really yeah that's exactly right it's just non-hardened beef jerky jerky yeah no that was my that was my little late night snack as a kid because you know my mom my mom, when I was a kid, didn't have a lot of time to cook because she was working full time anyway. So, I mean, we kind of just had, you know, she used to make me eat liver and onions. Do you have to eat that when you were a kid?
Starting point is 00:08:54 No, we didn't do liver and onions in my house. I mean, my mom would put cheese on anything and make a parmesan, though. Right, right, right. You know what I mean? That's the Italian. My mom's the Irish one of my family. So I was growing up under potato rules. It was like, how much nasty cheap shit could we eat?
Starting point is 00:09:08 But liver and onions we used to eat because back in the late 80s, they used to be like, it's so healthy and it's so good for you, but it's the worst smelling. Liver is so gross. So gross. I don't care how you make it, man. My mom was big on Dean's sardines. She loved the sardine and Melba toast.
Starting point is 00:09:24 That was like a snack when I came home from school. She's like, do you want sardines and Melba toast? I'm like, no. She's like, I'm like, what's your snack? She's like, sardines and Melba toast. You're like, I guess I'm outside walking around again. I'm walking around with a sardine. You're walking around with a hot dog.
Starting point is 00:09:37 That's me and you just roaming the streets. Are these kids okay? Do we need to call Child Protective Services? Now, but when you were a kid, were your parents both working, or did you grow up, did you have a loving mother who was there? A little bit of both. My dad was a vice president of a life insurance company, which actually worked out well, because he definitely did some deals when he found out he had the cancer.
Starting point is 00:09:57 He left my mom with like a nest egg. I was just about to say. He's going to be like cold in every favor. Yeah. My dad was a super nice guy. Everybody liked him. Really, really good dude. And so like, he definitely like hooked it up at the end.
Starting point is 00:10:05 Because when he passed away, my mother was like, what? But she didn't work. My dad didn't want anybody else to raise the kids. Right. So she raised the kids. But then my mom became the school secretary when I was in seventh and eighth grade of my school. No. At a Catholic school in Staten Island called St. Adalbert's.
Starting point is 00:10:23 It was all nuns and my mother. Right? So whenever you got in trouble in the school, they did this thing where they put you inbert's. It was all nuns and my mother, right? So whenever you got in trouble in the school, they did this thing where they put you in the hallway and you had to stand and face a corner, right? Like that's what you did.
Starting point is 00:10:30 What was that? That was so weird. It was so dumb, right? So it was so funny because my mother was the only person in the building that wore heels
Starting point is 00:10:35 and it had those long hallways so you would hear her click clacking, right? So then when I knew I was in trouble and I was standing, I didn't get in trouble much but it happened
Starting point is 00:10:42 a handful of times and I'd be up against the corner and I'd be up against the corner and I'd be just like trying to hide as best I could Blair Witching it like getting as close
Starting point is 00:10:48 you know nose to friggin cinder block just trying to get in there and I would hear click click click and they were like click click click click
Starting point is 00:10:55 and she would come behind me and grab the back of my head and be like we've been to Catholic school and she'd be like you're fucking dead when we go home you're dead
Starting point is 00:11:00 I'm gonna kill you you're dead you're dead you embarrass me you're dead and then she'd walk away like hey sister what are you doing hi sister Mary just saying hi to my son oh that rascal I'm dead. When we go home, you're dead. I'm going to kill you. You're dead. You're dead. You embarrass me. You're dead. And then she'd walk away like, hey, sister, what up?
Starting point is 00:11:06 Hi, sister Mary. Just saying hi to my son. Oh, that rascal. Yeah, that son of a gun. So, yeah, that was, so my mom started working then. In the school is wild. See, that happened. Like, my wife's mom worked in their school for a while.
Starting point is 00:11:21 And she said it was, you know, it was amazing to see her mom. Yeah. But she was like, it was tough because the kids would make fun of you because your mom is there. And it was like a thing. It was like a tease-worthy thing. And she was like, it was beautiful because my mother was there. But also, kids are assholes. Right. Kids are assholes.
Starting point is 00:11:33 My mom, people like my mom because she wasn't a religious figurehead. You know, she was like one of the— She was a normie. A normie. Yeah. The rest of them all just had— So you guys grew up, you were Catholic. I grew up, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:43 I went through—we met in Catholic high school, me and the boys. So we all went to Catholic high school all the way through. And only some of you kept some of the good soul in you, right? I think we, yeah, most of us abandoned it as soon as we could. Hollywood does that to you. When you sell your soul to the devil, baby. Yeah, no, we. You signed that TBS blood contract.
Starting point is 00:12:00 I know, it's like, why do, you have a pen, why am I pricking myself? We did, yeah, I grew up Catholic. And then I really think we're religion. It was weird because I have kids. So my wife is Muslim, actually. So she's not practicing and I'm not practicing. And it was like, all right, what are we going to raise these kids? And then we were like, how about like nothing?
Starting point is 00:12:18 Like we'll just. Free? Yeah, we'll just figure it out. Yeah. And then when they start asking questions, we'll go. But now my kids are at the age when they start asking questions. And my in-laws live with me who are devout Muslims. So they start, you know, they're like.
Starting point is 00:12:30 They want it to be, right? They're pushing for it. They're pushing their agenda, you know, and I'm just like, don't worry about it. Open up a web browser. I'm like, you're fine. There is no fire and brimstone, dude. Relax. You can be chill.
Starting point is 00:12:42 Don't worry. Worry about it later. But I i it's funny because like we're getting the talks about like evolution at the table like my daughter it'd be like you know we used to be monkeys or something like that whatever and he like my father-in-law would like go off and be like no like and it's just weird to like navigate that now yeah and then my son now is like uh he just starts saying the saying he's like well nobody knows except god like that's what he's throwing around and i'm like he's six and i'm like where
Starting point is 00:13:04 did you hear that i'm like grandpa for sure yeah And I'm like, he's six. And I'm like, where'd you hear that? I'm like, we don't know. Grandpa, for sure. Yeah, for sure. You know, so it's interesting to have, like, crossing that, like, milestone now. Well, what's good about this is I think they're getting from you this kind of ultimate open-mindedness of like, well, figure it out. You're not a, like, a staunch atheist. You're just kind of a agnostic, right?
Starting point is 00:13:23 Yeah, it's like live a good life. Right, right, right. And so in that regard regard it's kind of an open-ended thing and then the other side is someone who is religious so they're getting to kind of weave both worlds and choose right yeah that's great where in my world when i was a kid it was like you better you better you know what i mean it was this punishment is that go i mean go you're going to hell you're going to hell you're going to hell and i am and i am and i am but no but I mean God we we the the pressure we would get and if we were like late to church man my dad would be so mad he would he it was the day was ruined if we were late to church and it's like we're gonna be late we're late every time well they should start later why are we starting on time are? Are you a— We were Catholic as a kid, kid. Yeah. And then when I got older, for some reason, my stepdad wanted to be—
Starting point is 00:14:12 not wanted, but he found Presbyterian churches, which are like diet Catholic. A little bit more fun? Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Half the sugar? It's like Catholic, you can take your shoes off. Yeah, right. Presbyterians are like Coke Zero. Do you know what I mean? Gotcha, gotcha. It's, you, you take your shoes off. Yeah, right. Presbyterians are like Coke Zero. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:14:25 Gotcha, gotcha. It's, you know, the— It has all the hits, but there's a couple footnotes. Yeah, a couple, yeah. There's a couple amendments where you're like, oh, let's change a few things. What is it? Not preacher. Yeah, yeah, the pastor or whatever.
Starting point is 00:14:39 Pastor, yeah. They can get married. That would have been—I was almost a priest. That was the thing for me. What? Yeah. I wanted to be—I wanted to be—but I wanted a family. So I was like, I'm not going to—I can't do it. Presbyterian. They can get married. That would have been, I was almost a priest. That was the thing for me. What? Yeah. I wanted to be, I wanted to be, but I wanted a family. So I was like, I'm not gonna, I can't do it.
Starting point is 00:14:48 Presbyterian, they can get married, they have kids. See, I didn't know that. They all, at our church when I was a kid, they all had, yeah, they all had families and one couple, the wife and the husband were together. One of them would speak some days, the other one would speak other days. It was convenient for them. I feel like that's kind of cool. Yeah, no, it was great. In the multiverse of madness,
Starting point is 00:15:04 I guess there's a Joe Gatto who's a Presbyterian pastor out there. Let's go, dude. Next life. Click that ticket. Were you an altar boy? No, dude. No, no. They wouldn't let me. They wouldn't let me. I was a bad boy. I was such a punk kid. Really? I was such a troublemaker, man. Well, because, you know, I grew up single mother.
Starting point is 00:15:20 My dad was gone. So it was kind of like I was bound for trouble. Right, right. I loved getting in trouble. I wanted to be disrespectful. Well, people were looking at you, right? Is that what it was? What was it? kind of like I was bound for trouble. Right, right. I loved getting in trouble. I wanted to be disrespectful. Well, people were looking at you, right? Is that what it was? What was it? People were, like, looking at you?
Starting point is 00:15:30 Is that what it was? I just think it was like, yeah, you want attention. Yeah. And the no dad rules, you do whatever you want. Because mom can only hit you so hard. You know what I mean? Like, when dad comes in and hits you, you start to get in check. But when you're young and dad's not around, just no, no, no. Mom can't knock you out.
Starting point is 00:15:48 My mom was, oh, you didn't mean my mom. She was a fire. Look, there was a couple that got a couple hooks. She was from the streets, Jerry Gatter. She was a five-foot-nothing Sicilian batshit crazy woman. Loved her. My dad only hit me once. My dad only hit me once.
Starting point is 00:16:00 My dad was like the kind of guy just with a look, like you shut up, you know, like that kind of thing. But when I was like, when I got a little bit older, like 15, 14, 15, I started like getting funny. And I started, you know, when you get that wit and you don't realize like the power you yield, you know, like you're just, you're too quick. And I was quicker than my mother. And we were doing a back and forth with everyone.
Starting point is 00:16:20 I was like, oh, and we're sitting there eating. My dad just sit at the head of the table. I was on his left. And my dad is just, we're just eating. And my mom goes, says something. I said, oh, Ma, stop being such a bitch. And my father, without even lifting his face, just boom, right in the stomach. I fell on the floor.
Starting point is 00:16:32 And he goes, you'll never call her that again. That's the last time that happens? That was it. Pass the peas. Now, I never did that. I never did the, never cussed at my parents or anything in that regard. I think that was the one time I did. Man, we got smoked, though.
Starting point is 00:16:44 Yeah. Yeah. Did you have a dining room table you could run around? No. That wasn't big enough. There was only four of us. We had this little, we had this dining room table that was like an oval that we used to just wear my mom out. It would be like a racetrack. Like a dog race. Nah, because my parents were in cahoots that one of them would stand at one end just to stop
Starting point is 00:17:00 you from going through. So you were about, she would one would create a dam. You were gonna get caught. You got beavered. Yeah, you were gonna get smoked dude you're gonna get smoked if you messed up you know you messed up and sometimes my dad would say um i don't even feel like being angry at you because he's so mad he's like i'll let you talk to your mom because then it's she'll make you feel bad yeah for sure disappointment was a power they wielded man he could hurt you yeah but she could make you feel bad. It's a big difference, you know?
Starting point is 00:17:27 And that happened one of the first times I got caught smoking weed. My dad came down to the basement, and he was like, I don't even want to talk to you. And I was like, well, you know, I'm sorry. I'm doing that whole thing. And he goes, no, no, no. You talk to your mom. And I knew she would come down. She did the whole thing, and i was like oh man this
Starting point is 00:17:45 is i wish i got hit yeah i know i kind of wanted to get hit it would have been so much easier to just get hit i punished myself once that's how bad they had me in their lock of disappointment i there was a pop i was a really good student but there was a pop quiz and for some reason i just didn't nail it i got like a i got like a 70 and i remember this like See? Buddy, you're talking. That's my wheelhouse. Jesus. So I, my father, my father
Starting point is 00:18:09 was at work and I took the 70 and I put it on the fridge with a magnet and I wrote on a post-it note, you could be better and I signed it like I made a contract
Starting point is 00:18:20 to myself. I put it on there. I disconnected my Nintendo and I put it in the drawer and I was just sitting in my room in the dark when my father came home. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:18:27 My father was like, dude, it's one grade. You'll be fine. He's like, they offer extra credit. Like he talked me off a ledge. Like it was so bad. Wow, you were that good
Starting point is 00:18:35 of a student, huh? Yeah, I was pretty good, yeah. Wow, man. But how, as someone who's... Because you seem so dumb. Yeah. Yeah, really. I mean, thank you.
Starting point is 00:18:42 I didn't want to say it, but no, but it's like your face said most comics are dude most comics that i'm friends with right like the guys that i'm the closest with over the years most of us were too ornery for school like most comics i meet comedians writers anyone in our comedy world even just like a comedic actor that i meet most of them uh were smart most people i meet like you know you're an intelligent guy and they were just a little too buzzy to sit in class like my teachers would always say the same thing andrew would be a phenomenal student if he cared to pay any attention because i would take the test and i would get a b minus and i didn't listen to one thing they said
Starting point is 00:19:22 so it pissed them off because they'd be like, dude, if he applied himself, it would be unbelievable, which I would later do in college because it was a degree I cared about because I wanted, that's what I wanted to go to school for. But high school and stuff, I just couldn't care less. So it was tough for me. But most guys, that's interesting that I meet in the comedy world. They were just, school was tough. It's really tough.
Starting point is 00:19:41 Traditional school because it's like, God, all I want to do is goof off and make people laugh and have fun. Yeah. And this sit and listen and sit and listen. And it was always, to me, it was literal torture. I mean, I would just stare at the clock waiting for the bell. Were you always funny? I didn't get funny until I was older. I was funny.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Yeah. You have to be funny when you look like me. Yeah. I hear you. Yeah. Same boat. I picked it up later, though. When you're orange, and when I was a kid, these things were wide open.
Starting point is 00:20:04 My grandfather used to be like, you look like a taxi coming down the road with the doors open i mean dude i was such a goofball looking kid that i got you know when i was a kid kid i went to uh uh you know a school where you know there well that's high school baby there you go oh wow real goofball look wow that no junior high junior high that's the before yeah yeah you panned out well buddy buddy. You did great, man. Yeah, talk about a glow up. Jesus Christ. And the hair got better.
Starting point is 00:20:29 You nailed it. More glow. Yeah, there's me by the lake. Oh, my goodness. How bad do you want to push that kid into the lake? I feel like that's on the back of a milk carton. Except it's not fine this kid. It's please steal this kid.
Starting point is 00:20:39 Steal this kid. It's like taking applications. Yeah, look at my mother made me tuck my shirts in when I was a kid. That's because if I got a nice shirt... Oh, there you look adorable. That's me, yeah. mother made me tuck my shirts in when I was a kid. That's because if I got a nice shirt... Oh, there you look adorable. That's me, yeah. But if I got a nice shirt when I was a kid, my mom was very particular about keeping the clothes nice. Because it's
Starting point is 00:20:54 not like, you know, like, oh, we had tons of nice stuff. So if I got like a nice new polo shirt, you better keep it real nice. Tuck it in, clean it, don't get like schmutz on it or any of that stuff. You're not eating any sauces. Chicken fingers with no sauce. I'm feeding you, open your mouth. tuck it in, clean it, don't get like schmutz on it or any of that stuff. You're not eating any sauces. No, dude. Chicken fingers with no sauce.
Starting point is 00:21:07 Yeah, you're getting straight. I'm feeding you. Open your mouth. Butter noodles. Yeah, butter noodles. That's all I had. No, but I never could sit still. Yeah, I wasn't like that.
Starting point is 00:21:15 And I'm rambunctious, man. Yeah. But now you're, as a comedian, as a writer, as a performer, now do you feel like you're more buzzy than you were when you were a kid? Because you're constantly going and moving and doing and doing. 100%. Yeah, isn't that weird? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:31 I can't, I don't, even when I perform, I'm not, like it's funny because when I started with stand-up a couple years ago, like I started in the comedy clubs, you know, and I'd always been, I'd always done theaters with the boys. Like we'd always done big stages. Huge theaters, by the way. So the first time I got on, like, I was in Appleton, Wisconsin. I'm on this little stage.
Starting point is 00:21:46 I'm like, I felt like a caged animal. Like, I can't, because when I perform, I'm, like, all over the map. Right. Like, I just, the spotlight people hate me because they have to follow me. I don't stop moving. 65 minutes, I'm going the whole time.
Starting point is 00:21:55 I lose them half the time. And I just felt way more natural, like, on a bigger stage. So that was a huge thing because I'm a physical guy, too. I'm, you know, a physical comedian. So it was like, I was like, this isn't working for me i didn't feel like and then i had my first theater show and i was like oh i need room yeah that's what it is you know so
Starting point is 00:22:11 and i just feel like i'm always like doing that even because you feel that's why i guess i'm still stunned by the fact that you were so calm in school as a kid because you're kind of larger than life you're of of the guys of all the guys i think I think you have a very alive, physical personality, right? Like, Sal is the dumb one. I'm kidding. I'm just debating. Well, it's a four-way tie. It really is, yeah.
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Starting point is 00:26:03 They got four of those expressions and go to rabbitholdistillery.com slash buy and go to rabbit hole distillery.com slash buy now rabbit hole distillery dot com slash buy now use the promo rabbit for five dollars off your first order drink responsibly have fun ginger i like gingers no but you just do have this big very large presence to you that uh it's it's it's interesting that that's who you were as a as a kid because yeah right i you kind of have this um yeah you have this this physicality to you that goes back to the days of the stuff that we've talked about on this show before that i love the old comedies you know i think my favorite comedies were so much more physical and large and big bodied
Starting point is 00:26:40 and i feel like nowadays we're much smaller which i guess that's just the times but yeah man i love a good pratfall. I love watching someone take each shit. It's just funny. It's the best. It's just funny. Like even just like the – like even something like the scene in Dumb and Dumber
Starting point is 00:26:55 when he's on the toilet at the truck stop and he kicks the door in and the way he screams. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, man, I want so much more of that again. It's so simple. Right. And you feel it so much more of that again it's so simple right and and you feel it so much more but that's kind of disappearing in in film comedy but we're trying to bring it
Starting point is 00:27:11 back at least in our world and 100 and what we're doing comedy's got a lot more wordy and primacy and it's like sometimes i feel like that's trying to be too smart and remember like people just want to laugh and i don't want to think as much i think that's why i just want to laugh that's why you look back at like i still remember one of my favorite things ever was Chevy Chase falling down the flight of stairs in a comedy. It was an award show. I forget which one it was.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Yeah, I know, I know. I'm trying to think of what it was. I think it was an Oscars or an Emmys or whatever and he fell down the stairs and I used to like watch that on loop. I was like, that was unbelievable. But even for me growing up, Looney Tunes was my jam.
Starting point is 00:27:40 I just loved Wile E. Coyote. They never said a word. And I just loved the physical comedy and all that. I could watch it for hours. Well, that's what they say. Like, great. I can't remember who told me this. This is really weird.
Starting point is 00:27:49 But someone said, great comedy. To make a really great comedy in the visual sense, like on television or film or whatever, if you can turn the volume off, do you still know what's going on and is it funny? Yeah. And I thought that was really powerful. I don't even know what director said that to me. But I was like, oh, is that is that true for all and then you start to think yeah there's a lot of comedies if they're good enough it doesn't even need to be
Starting point is 00:28:12 like break a thing fall through a thing but if the if the liveliness is big enough facial expression i get it whatever yeah and i know i mean you go back to silent comedies and you're like oh right yeah i knew the whole story without knowing anything at all and you're right nowadays i feel like we are getting just yeah a lot of stuff is like wordy and we're trying to be really clever you know like clever yeah just the cleverness is tough like we went to see barbie you know i went to go see that and it was had a lot of funny stuff in it but it's trying to be snarky and clever and yeah underhanded which is fine but i don't know you kind of want just like hit me with how dumb...
Starting point is 00:28:45 Because, by the way, you know what we're doing is dumb. 100%. This is all fake. Yeah, I know. This is so stupid. If you're trying to do a message, do a drama. Yeah, exactly. Make me cry.
Starting point is 00:28:55 Make me cry. That's it. I want to feel terrible about myself after it's over. I want to figure out if my life is worth it. I've done that multiple times. You know when you leave the theater? Last time I did that was that Triangle of Sadness. Did you ever see that movie?
Starting point is 00:29:06 I didn't see that one, no. My God. It'll just like reconfigure your brain emotionally about people and relationships and, right? That thing did a dance for me, man. Everything, everywhere. Everyone wants the same thing? The same thing for me. Cried for like 20 minutes.
Starting point is 00:29:18 I was like, I was more like, I just like watched the screen when it was over and I was just like, you know when you catch yourself sitting there, like how long have I been sitting here? Like it was like one of those. I was like, holy cow. When the popcorn sweeper is over, and I was just like, you know when you catch yourself sitting there, like, how long have I been sitting here? It was like one of those. I was like, holy cow. And the popcorn sweeper was like, buddy, let's go. Pick up a room, Joe, or let's go. You trying to get some side work? What's going on here, man?
Starting point is 00:29:34 Get out of here. Guys, times are tough, guys. Times are tough. You're in LA. We're supposed to be doing a show tonight. We are. Are you popping for something specific? Are you allowed to talk about it?
Starting point is 00:29:45 I'm here for this. You invited me. You did? Yeah, that's huge. That's a big, big deal. I'm a huge fan of you, and I was like, I can't miss this opportunity. That's 100% true. I have a show in San Francisco tomorrow, so I came out a day early to do this.
Starting point is 00:29:53 Where are you doing it at? I'm at the San Francisco... Cobbs? Punchline? No, I'm at the theater. The theater? The Egyptian, or... I should probably say.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Well, this isn't going to go out today. They're going to miss it anyway. It's going to be gone. It's going to be gone. But isn't it sad when we don't even know the name of the theater that we're playing? Which, by the way, it happens to all of us.
Starting point is 00:30:10 Yeah. You can look... You can look up. There's the Orpheum, the Koran, the Castro, the Golden Gate. I think it's the Palace of Fine Arts.
Starting point is 00:30:17 I think that's what it is. I bet you that's what it is. I think that's it. It's the Palace of Fine Arts. Palace of Fine Arts. Yeah. I think so. San Francisco, great city.
Starting point is 00:30:24 Underrated comedy city In the regard that People would think And I'm being political For no other reason Then it's obvious But people do this thing Where they're like
Starting point is 00:30:31 Oh San Francisco Everybody must be You know Stuck up liberal Or whatever You know what I mean Like oh sensitive Blah blah blah
Starting point is 00:30:38 Whatever these catchphrases are And buzzwords The opposite Yeah I've had the most fun In San Francisco Like unhinged fun goofball weirdo experimental sets up there yeah and it's completely opposite of what people uh peg it
Starting point is 00:30:54 us yeah 100 it's this weird and we do this coastal thing where we're like oh you know what is that city like people do that all the time and i go you'd be blown away it's amazing you know like great city Someone just said that to us when we were on the road and they said, well, you know, it's something like Kansas City.
Starting point is 00:31:09 And I go, Kansas City is incredible. It's an incredible comedy town, a great culture town, bars, restaurants. I was like, you're off.
Starting point is 00:31:16 And I think that happens to Americans because they get this impression on the internet of like a place and they're like, that must be what that place is like. Or it's the way it's portrayed in like things and it's just been in culture for so long yeah for sure you know and some of them are true right so you know like texas fargo
Starting point is 00:31:32 fargo is fargo yeah texas is texas they know they're texas they taught they feel it that you know that's you literally think it's a joke that it's like everything's big they are that way they are you do a show down there like that's right boy yeah you better believe it dude like all right buddy this is how it goes here yeah i'm out of here soon man don't i'm like please don't hurt me i just wanted to sprite yeah i'll get in and out man i'll be as fast as i can you said when you said you're sicilian you know i'm siciliano too oh nice yeah my my dad's family's from sicilia do you know what part of Sicily you're from? I do not. No, you never went down there?
Starting point is 00:32:08 No, not yet. I haven't been there. And everybody gets so disappointed. Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go. I know. We were going to do it for our honeymoon, but I was like, I want to see Italy. And I was like, I'm not going to, on my honeymoon, I just wanted to relax.
Starting point is 00:32:16 So we didn't do it. And I was like, I'll go. And now I think it's, I'll probably end up doing it for like my 50th birthday or something like that. My kids are too young now. Yeah, what do you mean? Too young to enjoy it?
Starting point is 00:32:24 Yeah, too young to walk around and everything well yeah because they'll get annoyed and i want to carry me yeah yeah i want gelato okay we'll get them in one of those wagons everyone has like those pull wagons i see all the time now just throw them in a thing is that what they are yeah yeah i'm just on the streets of tuscany like hi guys excuse me i gotta return this you guys want want you want gelato no these things the little tykes yeah I see those things all the time
Starting point is 00:32:47 people just hauling kids and get them oh thanks he's gonna buy one for us yeah get an elite stroller oh man I do I used to sell these kind of things
Starting point is 00:32:54 I worked at Giggle a baby store a high end baby store for seven years what and I used to sell yeah I used to sell like thousand dollar furniture
Starting point is 00:32:59 it's crazy wait Giggle is it an online it's a physical brick and mortar it's a physical brick and mortar I was their first personal shopper in Soho, New York. Whoa!
Starting point is 00:33:07 And then I ended up working there with them seven years. I ended up being their training program manager, and that's the job I left to do Jokers. Wait, seven years you worked there? So you were obviously good. They kept you on. You were killing it. I'm a salesman, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:17 My sales career started out here. In 03, I moved out to L.A. to chase the dream to be a screenwriter and movie director. I ended up working at Nordstrom's at the Grove. God bless. And I crushed it. Crushed movie director. I ended up working at Nordstrom's at the Grove. God bless. And I crushed it. Crushed it. And I ended up getting poached from there
Starting point is 00:33:28 to open up HD Buttercup in Culver City. Jesus Christ. Yeah, so I got poached from there and I was a personal shopper there. And then I moved back to New York. HD Buttercup, by the way, you want to talk about people that don't know what that is. It used to be an old bakery here in Culver City.
Starting point is 00:33:42 It was an old bakery building and they turned it into an elitist furniture store and it's beautiful and the couches are like 30 grand and dude a mirror will be a mirror there's a mirror we looked at him we went there one time there was a mirror that was like six grand yeah and i was like what does it show me yeah what could it show me the fairest of them all yeah seriously i did uh i couldn't believe it i worked out this thing with them. So they approached me from Nordstrom. And when I got the job, I always did this thing where I was like, you always make the job that you want.
Starting point is 00:34:12 That was like the rule I made. So whenever I interviewed for a job, I'd be like – I'd be like, okay. And I was like – and I'll be the personal shopper here. And they're like, oh, what's that? And they'll be like, oh, no, we just needed you to be like either a store manager, assistant manager or whatever. I'm like, oh, no, I'm sorry. I'm looking for a personal shopper role. And they'd be like, oh, no, we just need you to be like either a store manager, assistant manager or whatever. I'm like, oh, no, I'm sorry. I'm looking for a personal shopper role. And they'd be like, well, what's that?
Starting point is 00:34:27 I'm like, well, I would just create customers, sell them whatever they need in the store, be able to sell the whole store and not just work in one department. Because that store, HG Buttercup, has a bunch of little retails in between. Then everybody hired their own people. But I want to be able to sell the whole store because that's how you make the Chateau. So I got this one I'm going to do. I said, so I was like, I'd like to be able to sell the whole store. They're like, well, you won't know all the product. I'm like, don't't worry about it i'll know all the product because there's a lot of products in there and i was like i'll take care of that i'll bullshit my way so i was able to cover and sell the whole store and i
Starting point is 00:34:52 worked them out to give me five percent commission five percent five percent what's usual like two or one yeah you started two two and a half so i ended up getting five percent commission and there was an antique section in the back left hand corner which was being run by this guy who was like, I forget his name, but I think he was the most miserable, like he was just doing this job, and just nobody ever went in there, right? So one day, Dave has to go pick up his, it was like kid's school night or whatever, he had to go see his teacher, the kid's teacher.
Starting point is 00:35:16 He's like, Joe, it was like a half hour left, he's like, Joe, could you just watch that, I'm up in there. Fine, I go, after he leaves, a little old lady comes in. She walks in, Hey, excuse me. Could you? Yeah. I hope we're walking all this stuff. She's like, oh, this armoire is beautiful.
Starting point is 00:35:28 I'm like, oh, this is the best armoire. This is mahogany. This is mahogany. It's oak. She's like, it really reminds me of the one that my late husband had. She's like, I'll take it. I was like, oh. I was like, okay.
Starting point is 00:35:39 I was like, have you dealt with, I'll call him Frank. Have you dealt with Frank before? She goes, oh, no. She's like, it's my first time in here. I'm like, all right. I was like, I'll sell it to you. I you dealt with Frank before? She goes, oh, no. She's like, it's my first time in here. I'm like, all right. I was like, I'll sell it to you. I look at the price tag. It's $30,000.
Starting point is 00:35:48 I was like, dude, I just put this on my back and just walk out. Like, what do you want me to do right now? I'll carry it. I'll carry it to your house. So she did it. I bought it. I got the commission. The next day he came in and he was like, where's the online?
Starting point is 00:35:57 I was like, I sold it. We sold it. I sold actually everything inside of it. He went to the longest lunch I've ever seen. He was just defeated like Eeyore walking out to lunch selling this poor guy. I felt so bad. That is, I mean, that's, you must have had the skill. I mean, honestly, and that doesn't surprise me at all.
Starting point is 00:36:11 Any good talker, comics, we could sell anything. You know, like that was kind of how I got it from my dad. Yeah. You know, this guy. I mean, you know, the whole, the joke. It's like you could sell Ice to an Eskimo. It's like he could convince people of the thing that they need. My grandfather was a big hustler when he was alive yeah yeah i'm this guy you want to talk
Starting point is 00:36:29 about a hustler i have a character that i do based on him oh yeah yeah because he literally genuinely he was a hustler he never had a gig he when he was a kid he was a numbers runner for uh the big the boys yeah and uh and notably so it wasn't even like a secret it was kind of like a thing that they were comfortable talking about because he was just in and out and had a lot of friends yeah in that world and uh then when he learned how to go to the factories grab wholesale stuff and just sell at a street value he was like how do people why doesn't everybody do this so he would literally when i was a kid he'd walk in we'd walk into a restaurant if it was like a mid-range restaurant you know where, where it's like mom and pop, but it's kind of a little bit nicer.
Starting point is 00:37:07 He'd walk right into the kitchen. I'm not exaggerating at all. I've seen him do this multiple times. He'd walk into the kitchen, and he'd be like, who's the manager? And the manager would come out and be like, who the fuck are you? What the fuck are you doing back here? He's like, dude, these mats aren't up to code. These rubber mats, you know, the floor mats and no slip mats in the kitchen.
Starting point is 00:37:23 He goes, these aren't up to code. And he's like, who the fuck, who the fuck are you? You know, it's Chicago. It's like, there's no like, gullibleness out of these people. They're like, get the fuck out of- And he's like, no, no, no, man, you oughta flip these right now. I have some in my car right now. I'll do it for you right now.
Starting point is 00:37:34 And the guy's like, dude, get out of here. My grandfather would physically take them, rip the mats up, put them outside in the trash, and go put in new mats, and just be like, you know, two for five, but I'll give you the- And he- and they would do it. And they'd pay him. Oh my goodness, that's amazing. Part of it was bully tactic. Yeah, that's right! Part of it was like, you know, two for five, but I'll give you the, and he, and they would do it and they'd pay. Oh my goodness. That's amazing.
Starting point is 00:37:45 Part of it was bully tactic. Yeah, that's right. Part of it was like, you know, you better do this because we come around here a lot, you know, but he,
Starting point is 00:37:51 that's how my grandfather made a living. And my dad obviously adopted that, but took the sensible part and knew how to talk to people. Yeah. Just knew how to convince them as shit. A hundred percent. But that's what we got. That's how our world is speaking to as comedians.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Yeah. You're just selling it. You're just selling a joke. Do you find yourself truthful? On stage? Yeah. No. Honestly, like I weave in the world of like a lot of times my stories are based on separate things that I've made one story.
Starting point is 00:38:17 So a lot of it is truth, right? There's a lot of stories that are just raw, the thing that happened. But a lot of times I'll peel from something that happened to me when I was a kid or something that happened as an adult, and they have a similar tie. So I'll just link them two. I do that all the time. I feel like a lot of comics kind of weave these narratives. Or like a friend of mine had a joke that they just wrote, and it's so good.
Starting point is 00:38:40 And they didn't want to call out the person that, you know what I mean? They didn't want it because the person would have known. Yeah. And so I said, just change it to a family member that you don't have, like a brother or sister.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Do you not have a sister? Do you not have a brother? Yeah. Just say my brother or my sister that doesn't exist. Who gives a shit? Right. They don't know.
Starting point is 00:38:56 It doesn't make the joke any, you know, like it still makes it fun. That's meek. Right. Makes you comfortable to say it. A hundred percent. And I said,
Starting point is 00:39:01 all that's doing is showing the ownership. It's a family member. It's a relationship tie. They get that and that's it. Then the person that you's a family member. It's a relationship tie. They get that. And that's it. Then the person that you're really talking about doesn't feel embarrassed or hurt. So I do that a lot. I'll change stuff to make sure that I'm not, you know.
Starting point is 00:39:16 Incriminating people. Yeah. Yeah. Or hurting someone. That last story was really about your uncle. You're like, my grandfather. My Uncle Steve. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:22 No, that was about my grandfather. That motherfucker. He was. Do you do that? What do you do? Are you you all gut i'm a storyteller you all start pretty pretty much but is some of your stories they're they're i mean out of it there's only probably a couple embellishments but not much at all like most of the stuff is crazy i'm also you know i've only this is my first hour so you know i mean i imagine my next ones as i'm building my next one and stuff it'll be a little because how many how many years now in stand-up uh one and a half almost two as a little bit. Because how many years now in stand-up? One and a half, almost two.
Starting point is 00:39:47 As it goes, buddy. Yeah. You're going to start peeling apart. Well, I've also started like doing that. But like one of the stories I tell on stage has just happened literally from a sentence. I'm good friends with Steve Byrne. You know, Byrne and I, we do our podcast together. Nashville now? He's the best.
Starting point is 00:39:59 Love Bernie. And so he did, I was telling the story about we had gone to Disneyland with my son. And we went on that Star Wars ride. My son is five years old at the time. Perfect. Doesn't know Star Wars. Doesn't understand a ride. We're in outer space.
Starting point is 00:40:12 I turn and he's hugging the railing going, I want to go back to Earth screaming. And I tell him that story. He's like, that's hysterical. He's like, you got to tell that story on stage. I'm like, well, I just told you the story. He's like, no, but like tell the story. Right. So then I was like, oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:40:23 So then I was like trying to figure out the whole thing, and I just worked on it and stuff, and now it's probably one of my favorite things I do on stage. And it just came from like a moment. So now I think what I had to work on mostly, because when I was on stage with the guys, most of my career I've been in an ensemble, one of four, 25% of the funny. If your joke sucks, somebody will pick it up for you. You were more than 25.
Starting point is 00:40:41 I know. We all know. You're picking up the slack of some of those guys. Trust me. Oh, my back. But the thing was like it'd be interesting to, you know,
Starting point is 00:40:50 see if like you had an off night or you weren't like feeling it like somebody will pick you up and, you know, you can just get through your stuff and whatnot. And like that was the biggest change for me.
Starting point is 00:40:58 It was like, oh, it's you for 65 minutes. You got to do this. It's all you. It's all you. But with that came the responsibility and the empowerment of this was a great show. I did great. this. It's all you. It's all you. But with that came the responsibility and the empowerment of
Starting point is 00:41:06 this was a great show. I did great. Right. Or it was a bad show. I got to be better. You know what I mean? So it was like that, which I never had.
Starting point is 00:41:13 So that was the biggest thing for me was like, okay, how do I put together this show that I'm 100% responsible for and 100% proud of and that I feel like people are getting what they want when they come to see me.
Starting point is 00:41:21 Yeah. And once I got that and I was like, boom, I love this. You're good to go. Right. Well, that was always my crush with stand-up which is why i never sketch and improv i always enjoyed from afar as a fan yeah uh but man i always loved stand-up because it was all my fault it was all my success you like it better than acting stand-up yeah all by a lance really yeah it's not even close i mean i started as a
Starting point is 00:41:42 stand-up right i started stand-ups uh i don't even know i don't even know now 16 years ago or whatever 17 years ago and acting i i got into later and i always liked the idea of it but the difference was um i like all the pressure yeah i like all but you're a good actor thank you but but but but to be honest like this sounds condescending but with acting like the it's not this it is pressure but it's a different pressure if you have someone to rely on does i can do another take right what do i get that gave me the other take is unbelievable like the editing i get to go again yeah oh my god yeah to me the only time i ever felt pressure was when it was someone i was performing with on camera that i respected a lot and i wanted to make sure i did them right
Starting point is 00:42:24 right that was it outside of that i couldn't care less uh that's like me coming on this podcast 100% sure I'm doing yeah well you're doing okay he's taking notes about how bad you're doing yeah he's doing okay it's gonna be a three minute 17 minute episode this is gonna be lots of edits it's gonna be me talking to myself we're just gonna superimpose my no but I I feel like uh I feel like you know you know when you're performing live with your friends, the pressure, even if it's 25%, like you say, which is not true. I mean, you guys are all doing 100. Everyone has to do 100 to meet each other at this point.
Starting point is 00:42:53 And it's so great that that pressure is there of success or failure because when a joke hits, my God, there's nothing like that. There is no scene I've ever shot that feels the way that you do when you're up there with the boys and it's humming oh that's interesting there's something do you watch stuff that you've acted in with people i don't watch anything that i don't really watch stuff that i've done well good thing other people do yeah yeah thank god thank god no but he knows i'm bad i don't like i really can't stand it i i i get uh the anxiety is so like editing a special yeah is real tough for me so watching a
Starting point is 00:43:26 scene from a television show or a film my god take me out back and shoot me i don't want to yeah i it's tough to watch because i overanalyze i pick myself apart everyone else i don't even see when it when it's not when i'm watching my if i watch something i've done i immediately get annoyed at how poor this thing is or i don't like the way I did that or I said something. It's like, I don't know. I don't want to pick it apart. With stand-up, it's here and now. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:43:50 It's like it doesn't matter. So, no, I can't really – I can't do it, man. I just can't do it. The weirdest thing for me is when we did the movie, we did the premiere, like to watch in a movie theater with a bunch of people, and it was like, all right, my family was with me, and I was like, okay, family was with me and i was like okay this is kind of weird to see it and then when we got some laughs i'd like some stuff that i
Starting point is 00:44:10 did like they made me i don't know if you saw the movie they made me a cave monster right yeah it's one of my favorite things i've ever done because i that was the real you by the way that's what i look like this is all makeup take me two and a half hours i'm in the chair before i come out um but i did when i did that it started with an idea of me being like – because we started and I was with Henchy. Chris Henchy was the director. And I'm like – and he was like, all right, how do you want to – he's like, how do you want to join the crowd? And I was like, I want to come from the ravine. And he's like – he's like, what do you mean?
Starting point is 00:44:41 I said, well, I want to go around the back where you're like not allowed to go. You know, it was this cave with a tour. And the thing was I supposedly got lost in the cave years ago, and I turned into a cave monster. I had a T-shirt on that said I'm the beef. And I was like got lost in the late 80s. And then I grew up in this cave. And then, oh, I found this, right? So that's the stupid premise.
Starting point is 00:44:56 But I was like to surprise the boys and to get into it really well, I said I want to come out of the darkness. I was like, how do we do that? And he's like, well, he's like, let me find out. And there was like literally they had to like open this this gate had to wait for the key to come through we got we went around and they're waiting for me and i go around the back and it was a guy who works there who was like a security guard who didn't know we were filming that day and here i come down the thing looking like walking down i go sup man he's like hey man and i go and i go i'm supposed to be here he goes all right and just
Starting point is 00:45:27 that little moment in my head i put me in such a funny good mood because i just messed with this guy who had no idea what was happening yeah and it was like oh this is really funny and then when i come out from the darkness and the guys see it not knowing where and i just hear them my ear going crazy and i was like oh that set up that scene so when i watched that scene on the movie i know all that going into it yeah and i was like oh i really oh, I really hope this hits. Right. And it did, and I was like, oh, thank God. If it didn't, I'd be like, oh, shit, man. All that. But that feels, that feeling
Starting point is 00:45:51 of, like, celebrating with people, like, I get it. I know why people love it. I just... Yeah, in a program that way. Oh, man, it just gets my bone shake. Like, when we go to, like, a premiere, I'm always like, God, I don't want to see it, man. I don't know something about it that gives me it gives me the nerves but i think um stand up uh the failure and the success are easily the best feeling i've ever had if you told
Starting point is 00:46:19 me i could never act again or i could never do stand-up again oh for sure i'd put acting to bed really today yeah i I enjoyed my time, but I can't give up the thing that I like the most. That's great. Because it's nice to beat yourself up a little bit. If you're only acting, and once you get into acting and you're doing well and you get booked on jobs, if you are in the thing, in the machine,
Starting point is 00:46:37 you're going to keep working a little bit. You can kind of find new jobs, and then, you know, you get some accreditation, and then it's like, you know, you're kind of rewarded continuously thereafter, right right you're treated better as you go on and the bigger job you get with stand-up dude you could be killing in a theater one night then going to work on material locally and be eating shit yeah it feels good yeah and as actors have an ascension they don't really get that they do this like gradual rise and then eventually they all crash which
Starting point is 00:47:04 everybody does i mean everyone's career kind of goes down once you get that there's a bomb or whatever that they do and then yeah they're like okay what's the next one it can't be as bad as that one right and but that but that has to that kind of has to be the path like they have little clicks in the meantime but with stand-up dude you have these extremes where like you know we just did the gorge with with bird on tour it, 15,000 people. And then a week later I was working out new stuff here in town and I'm eating bags of shit, you know? And it's like that juxtaposition is what you need to kind of stay sane a little bit, I think as a performer. So that's, I think that's why it's healthy.
Starting point is 00:47:36 It's also control, right? Like you get to, you say what you want to say. Yeah. You're putting out there what you want. And you're not dependent on somebody else doing well. Right. That's the other trick is like, you know, especially if you're on something where they want you to say the words to the book, that's always tough. You know what I mean? Again, as the goofball kid, I'm like, you want me to say all this shit? Do you want it funny or do you want it what's written?
Starting point is 00:47:55 Exactly. And they're like, oh, you think you're going to do it better than this? You're like, yeah, probably. Probably, yeah. If I'm being honest, yeah. How about one for me? Yeah. Let's do one.
Starting point is 00:48:01 Let's get one more for me. Well, that's the best part, right, Is that there's the endless amount of takes. There's no, you know. So now you're on tour. You go to San Francisco and you're building for an hour or you're shooting an hour? Because you said the hour. Yeah. I'll end up shooting this hour.
Starting point is 00:48:14 This is the one. I've been doing an hour. You're ready to go. Yeah. I love it. Do you know where you want to shoot it? I'm shooting it in New York at the Paramount on Long Island. I love that theater.
Starting point is 00:48:21 I'm from Long Island. You are from Long Island. Yeah. Well, I live out there now. Yeah. From Staten Island originally. I was going to say, you're Staten Trash, right? And then you moved out to Long Island. I love that theater. I'm from Long Island. You are from Long Island. Yeah. Well, I live out there now, yeah. Yeah. From Staten Island originally. I was going to say, you're Staten Trash, right? And then you moved out to Long Island.
Starting point is 00:48:28 Trash and Island, yeah. Trash and Island. Yeah, I upgraded to the better island. But yeah, I'm going to do that. And I'm really excited about that. That's awesome. Do you have a date that you're going to shoot it? Do you already know?
Starting point is 00:48:39 Yeah, I think I'm going to do it in, well, I'm going to be at the end of this tour. So we're probably sometime in March. Beginning of next year. Beginning of next year, yeah. But I'm i'm also i'm playing the beacon which i'm really excited huge which is great new york yeah new york how great is that yeah i'm so excited that's one of those spots right everybody wants the beacon is kind of one of those like i played the new york comedy festival and i did town hall and i thought that was such like a a cool moment because you're like god imagine all the great things that have come through here and then i get
Starting point is 00:49:02 to just be me and do that it always makes me laugh when we play, like, these beautiful historic theaters on our tour, and I'm like, we're doing dick and fart jokes. You know, like, Pavarotti's on here. This is hand-chiseled. This is an emerald chalice chandelier, and I'm like, oh, you know. That was sent, you know, that was sent two centuries ago
Starting point is 00:49:20 from the queen of, you know, whatever, and you're like, right on. So are they going to be able to see my butthole from this angle, or, I mean? mean i need to turn that's exactly how our shows are it's like uh that juxtaposition is what makes me laugh about these beautiful these beautiful theaters are you gonna self-distribute by the way i'm just gonna make it and see what happens good that's the move who cares yeah because the other thing is like i'm honestly just kind of doing it for me because to work so hard on something for like two years and then for
Starting point is 00:49:44 not to keep it it's crazy to me like if i just film it and of doing it for me because to work so hard on something for like two years and then for not to keep it is crazy to me. Yeah, push it out. Like if I just film it and do it. Like I know how to produce, so I'm like I'm just going to self-do it. Now you're going to do – are you going to want to do everything on your own or are you at least hiring out a company? Or you're like I'll direct it. I'll do all that stuff. Well, no.
Starting point is 00:49:55 I've done all that. So I directed Burn's Last Special. Yeah. Which is great. Yeah. The only problem with Burn's Last Special was the guy doing the jokes. That was probably the worst part about it. That was hard.
Starting point is 00:50:02 Yeah. We tried to shoot around it. It didn't work. What could you do? You did your part very well. It looked beautiful. It looked great. But the man up there, blah, blah, blah. That was probably the... Shout out to Steve Byrne. Great guy. Great comic. I chased him
Starting point is 00:50:15 out of town, by the way. I told him, you better leave. I said, get out of LA. Get out of here. You better get out of here. I don't want to put up with you anymore. I tell you, he comes on the road with me sometimes, and it's the best, man. I mean, we do our podcast, Two Cool Moms, together. Yeah. And that's been a good time for me. We've always wanted to work together on something.
Starting point is 00:50:28 I know him like 10 years. And then when, you know, my life took a change, and I had some time to open up, and I was like, let's try to do a podcast together. Yeah. And we tried, and we started just talking about stuff. The first version we had of it was called Yin Yang Parmesan. Pretty good. And then we just both started really talking about our moms and realized that what like
Starting point is 00:50:46 powerful figures they were growing up and how much stories we had about them and then how we always went to each other for advice like i'm one of his confidants he's one of mine yeah and i was like oh so let's just wrap it around this so that's what ended how we ended up like coming up with that format and i just love it i just think it's you guys shoot in new york or do you do in new york yeah you do so he because he's down there he just flies up to you he comes up there we're part of the iheart now we're part of iHeart now we're part of the iHeart oh right on
Starting point is 00:51:06 good that's great so we're doing it well he's born he's a Pittsburgh guy right yeah Pittsburgh right yeah he actually grew up in Jersey
Starting point is 00:51:12 oh he did for a little bit yeah oh wow New Jersey and then he did most of his in Pittsburgh
Starting point is 00:51:16 we just did a run through Pittsburgh Pittsburgh it's so dude when we were talking earlier that's one of the cities where people were like
Starting point is 00:51:21 oh what's the city that surprised you and you liked Pittsburgh I couldn't believe it and then people go, Pittsburgh? I'm like, yeah, Pittsburgh. Same thing with Rochester, right?
Starting point is 00:51:29 Rochester? Rochester, New York? Oh, yeah. You weren't there, right? We left you, thank God. I didn't want you to come. Yeah. Now it's awkward.
Starting point is 00:51:35 Let's talk about what you told me why you left. Yeah. No, let's do it. Bad behavior. Bad attitude. The attitude is really. Disrespectful. Sleeping in.
Starting point is 00:51:44 Not doing his job on time. Just an overall ineffectiveness. I'm giving McConey a lot of shit, but you know what? This week he's actually been a really good help on this show and me and Bob's show. So I'll give you a little bit of credit in front of someone I very much respect to someone I don't respect at all.
Starting point is 00:52:00 You understand? He says it because he loves you. Don't worry about it. That's right. Dude, this kid grew up. Like, this is the thing. Like, I meet his parents. He's a Midwest kid.
Starting point is 00:52:09 It's immediately what I take to him. And I meet his parents. And these are Minnesota people. There is, you know, they're rich, like, beautiful soil. I mean, they're deep. They're lovable. They're smart. And they made you the ivy that's just poison.
Starting point is 00:52:22 That's right. And I'm growing all over it. And I'm going to kill it. Yeah. Trust me. I'm going to smother it. It looks nice, but it's killing. How pretty is that?
Starting point is 00:52:30 It's actually killing everything. The tree is dying is what we're saying. Get out now. Do what you can. Yeah, yeah. You should run. But these are good people. And you just feel like it is so interesting when you meet these Midwest people.
Starting point is 00:52:43 Man, it's like they don't have a bad bone in their body. You can't find the flaw in some like his parents, these kind of people. It's the reason that I took to him because I was like he's got to have good core, even if he's rotten on the outside. You met his parents were like, do you have offspring? I want to take it.
Starting point is 00:52:59 Let me tell you something. His parents are like my age. That was like the weirdest thing to meet them at one of our shows. Where were we when we met your parents? Where'd it come? Baltimore? I don't know. We were doing an East Coast run, and they came through.
Starting point is 00:53:12 Yeah, and it's so funny because I forget. He's 24. His parents are like our age. Oh, my goodness, yeah. How gross, though. I'm thinking they're going to be like real older adults. No, they're kids. You're you know older adults and now they're kids you're just out here crushing it 24 years old god bless he's doing okay he's we're about
Starting point is 00:53:29 you ever work at nordstrom do you ever sell yeah yeah yeah yeah you couldn't sell shit at nordstrom that's right yeah wait i will actually that's funny we cruise too fast but the baby company that you work for in new york was it like selling it was just selling rich people cribs and stuff cribs gear like like strollers. Super overpriced. Yeah, just all high end. That's great about New York. New York is like the place you can do.
Starting point is 00:53:50 You can kind of do that here, but you can really do that in New York. For sure. New York is where that stuff is like. I put this company pretty much out of business that was doing because I oversold. I sold too many of their highest end crib that they couldn't keep up with their manufacturing. Shut up. They tried to move to another manufacturer. I swear. It was a $3,000
Starting point is 00:54:07 crib system. $3,000? $3,000. What do you mean? It's a crib system. Is it a prison too? Is there a solitary confinement? It converts all the way up to a twin bed. No way. Unbelievable system. Yeah, it was great. What's it called? Do you know what it's called? I forgot the name of it at this point. But it was available in a couple different colors, right? And the hottest color
Starting point is 00:54:23 that sold was the espresso., was the dark wood. As it was. So I just kept selling it. And the person that they were getting it from couldn't manufacture it quick enough. So like, we've got to go find a new manufacturer. They switch to a new manufacturer. It ends up being shit. They sold all this product.
Starting point is 00:54:36 They had to return all this money. It was crazy. So I was like, oh, I just broke this company. It's not your fault. Not my fault. That's their fault. That's their fault. I still got my commission.
Starting point is 00:54:42 Yeah, you did the right thing. A $3,000 crib. I don't have any kids, but I don't know. But my instinct says $3,000 for a crib is ridiculous. It's ridiculous. Back in the day, I'm talking 2007. 20 years ago? Yeah, 2007.
Starting point is 00:54:55 Yeah, 16, 17. That's absurd. Yeah, it was nuts. What does an average crib cost in the real world today? I actually don't know. My ignorance is disgusting. In the real world today? No, you could get a normal crib for $800 800 bucks 700 okay right right right right yeah a good
Starting point is 00:55:07 crib for 700 you could get cribs for like 30 if you wanted well sure that's the one i'd get for sure i would just put up on those dog fences that we had for my but it was all it was also the age of the bugaboo that show that big show so i was i was deep in that bugaboo money oh so when you left to to to get with the boys when you you left, honestly, was it hard? Because you were like, man, this is guaranteed money. I was the first one to quit my job. You were. You were the first one out.
Starting point is 00:55:30 You didn't even think twice. I thought for a second. So I took my two-week vacation shooting the pilot. We shot the pilot. Right. Then they ordered it. And I needed six months. So I said to my CEO at the time, Allie, I said, I need a six-month hiatus.
Starting point is 00:55:43 She goes, oh, so you're quitting? I said, no, it's just a hiatus. She's like, no, you're quitting. It's all right. No, no, no, I'll be back. She's like, well, no. She's like, you'll be a TV star and then you'll never worry about us, but if it doesn't work out, you're always welcome to come back, but I can't keep your job for six months. She's like, we'll see what happens. I was like, okay. So I was like,
Starting point is 00:55:58 oh, I gotta quit. But Sal at the time owned a bar and was a bartender. Right, that I know. So he was working his overnights. Q was a fireman. He was working overnights and would come to shoot. And Murray was working for the production company that ended up producing the show. So they all had job security. Wow.
Starting point is 00:56:12 So when I quit, I was like, oh, man, but I was all in. But it's all I concentrated on, which was good because then I learned from the production of it. Right. So that really amped me up for 10 years to just be basically showrunner, producer, director, all of it. Writer. Like, I was just hyper-focused on this thing for the first two years.
Starting point is 00:56:28 The guys, I think, for the first two years kept their jobs. Wow. Yeah. You were all in. I was all in. In the edits and stuff. But I think... And that's why you're the best of all of them.
Starting point is 00:56:36 That's actually the truth. That's really... No, I think it's why I have a different skill set. Right, right, right. I think it's why, like, I always wanted to be a director when I grew up. That's what I'll be when I grow up. I'll be a writer-director. I want to make movies.
Starting point is 00:56:44 I always loved film growing up. So it was like that, you know, scratched that itch for me. It wasn't just like... Because I never wanted to be a director when I grew up. That's what I'll be when I grow up. I'll be a writer-director. I want to make movies. I always loved film growing up. So it was like that scratched that itch for me. It wasn't just like – because I never wanted to be in front of the camera. I was just like – if I wasn't me on that show, I don't think I would act. I never want to act. I'm not an actor. You just wanted to put it together. I just wanted to put it together, and I got to be myself and make my friends laugh.
Starting point is 00:56:59 So it was a perfect combination for me. Man, that's incredible. To think that you never wanted to be in front of the camera. Well, it's a hard thing to admit unless you're like you know Brad Pitt where you're like I get it you want people to see what you look like you know you want to out this out in about town yeah for sure percent show that off yeah but I didn't you know I think it was just the right formula for me I'm not a good actor I don't think I am I don't have confidence when I do it
Starting point is 00:57:18 no you do you're but you're a good you're good at what you do right like there's the varying degrees of when people say good at a thing it's the same thing in comedy when someone's like oh that comic sucks and if they're a professional i go no no you just don't like that style of comedy that's fine say this i couldn't agree with you more well do the same thing with every kind of food it's like that food that food genre sucks you're like you just don't like to eat it yeah you just don't like indian many people like that i know in fact billions of people like it but that's what's so annoying to me is like when someone's made a career, a profession as something,
Starting point is 00:57:46 no matter what it is, and somebody goes, it sucks, it's like, no, no, no. You hate it. It's obviously working somewhere else. Because a lot of people must enjoy it. You're not the target. Right, that's fine. But that's the same thing I say. You are a good actor in what exactly that you do. And you could stretch further if you tried.
Starting point is 00:58:01 I mean, who knows? But what you guys do on the show, you're acting. I mean, you're all acting. I mean, the characters what you guys do on the show you're acting i mean you're you're all acting i mean the characters that i play were always fun because you always end up playing yeah you dive into something so that is no truly you are and you are very good you're better than better than all those guys i will say q is atrocious no i'm kidding no but it's i'm taking shots for no reason for no reason yeah no no it's Yeah, no. No, it's... Did you ever meet Q? No, I never met... You met Sal, though. Sal's the only guy I really, like, know-know out of the boys
Starting point is 00:58:27 in a perspective of, like, had dinner with... You know what I mean? Like, gone out and... Yeah, like, why haven't we gotten a little closer? Can I be honest with you? Sure.
Starting point is 00:58:37 Because the stuff that you... I mean, look, I've read the thread online you posted about me, you know? It's not nice, you know? It's really not nice. I started a thread about you. Ginger freak, it's called? That thread that you started? Yeah, but nice, you know? It's really not nice. I started a thread about you. Ginger freak, it's called?
Starting point is 00:58:47 That thread that you started? Yeah, but it's with love. There's an asterisk. There is. You're right. And I spelled freak wrong. Yeah, you did spell it. I thought you just couldn't spell frick.
Starting point is 00:58:54 Ginger frick. Ginger frick. Ginger frick. Why come to New York? I'd love to go out to dinner with you. I would love to. If you'll come to the city. I can't go to Long Island.
Starting point is 00:59:01 I'm sorry. No, no. I go to the city. Okay, you have to. You don't have a choice. I love the city. That is one of those things where when I go, if I do, I have friends that no I go to the city okay you have to you don't have a choice I love the city that is one of those things where when I go
Starting point is 00:59:06 if I do I have friends that are all over New York as years have gone on and a lot of them have families now where they move or they're out a little bit and when they're like hey man can you come to wherever
Starting point is 00:59:14 I'm always like buddy Port Washington's not for me what are we talking about I mean the last time I did my good friend Ari who is an actor that I worked on a show with I drove up to Wallkill to see her.
Starting point is 00:59:26 Oh, wow. You know who that is? Yeah, Wallkill. That's a good friend. Yeah, well, I love her, and I haven't seen her in years, and she bought a house up there, and I said,
Starting point is 00:59:33 I'm going to come. I really want to come see you. And so we went up there, me and my buddy Chris O'Connor. Do you know Chris? Stand-up? Great stand-up. But we went up there because I said,
Starting point is 00:59:43 you know what, dude, let's go get a meal and go hang out in the woods because, you know, living in here, this chaotic place, and the New York chaotic city, and I said, I don't go out to the sticks ever. I mean, anywhere really. Like any city I travel to, you're in the gut of the thing, and you're in a hotel, and then you go home.
Starting point is 01:00:00 And so it was nice to go out and get a home-cooked meal and sit by a pond. Like a fire pit thing, actually? and get a home-cooked meal and sit by a pond. Like a fire pit thing, actually? We sat by a pond. Yeah, she has like a pond near her and stuff. It was actually, yeah. It makes you go, man, I really want this.
Starting point is 01:00:13 But then you also go, I gotta get back. I need to, I need noise. Yeah, I need noise. You sleep and it's like, what are these crickets? Where's the sirens? I know, kids do it.
Starting point is 01:00:19 Is nobody dying? Yeah, every New Year's for a while, I used to rent a house with my family, my sisters and their kids and everybody. We used to go away every, and we used to do like four or five days. We'd unplug like the 28th to the 2nd and just, that's it. Like, and hang out, wear pajamas the whole time. That was some of my favorite times.
Starting point is 01:00:35 Well, because it's, you don't care about really anything but hanging out. It's really nice to have nothing on your schedule but hang out. That's why I think the holidays are so necessary. It doesn't matter if you're religious. It doesn't matter if you're – it's just about doing nothing. It's like can you just take a minute to do nothing at all? You don't have to believe in any of the religions or holidays or the depths of the meaning. It's just about kicking it with people at the core of it all, which is kind of nice.
Starting point is 01:00:59 Like Yom Kippur and all that stuff and the Jewish holiday that just happened. It's like I was talking to my wife about it, and's i was like you know it's so funny at the core root of it whether you're super religious or not it just means can you hang with your family and talk and enjoy each other's company without your phone without the bullshit the interference and the noise and i think it is it's a healthy way to live again there's the perspective we talked about the beginning of the show i think you only get that as you start to lose people, friends and family and stuff that you go, you know, like you hear those phrases where this is, this is gross to say when they go, you're how old? You only have so many summers left or so many Christmases left
Starting point is 01:01:36 and it hits you like a brick. Yeah. We're more dead than not. Oh, a hundred percent. Some of us more, some of us more than others on the inside especially again it's comebacks to you but you know I appreciate it I don't even know I barely know you you let me into the bathroom you're a nice guy
Starting point is 01:01:49 I don't know why I'm taking shots oh he took you to the bathroom? yeah what did I tell you about doing that? you gotta show them where and leave them alone he walked you in didn't he? he stood in there the whole time
Starting point is 01:01:57 taking the photo was bizarre it was a Polaroid right? he's like I want this right now this can't wait could you sign here? Yeah. As you're shaking, he's shaking.
Starting point is 01:02:08 These will both be done at the same time. That's it. We're done. Perv. A little freaky perv. So, look, this will be out in a little bit, although you're going to San Francisco, but you have continuing dates coming up through March. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:18 Right? You're going to be continuing to tour and build this beautiful hour. Going to Australia, which will be fun. Are you really? Yeah. Dude, I just got, well, I just got it. What am I saying? I was there at the beginning of the year. Dude, I just got, well, I just got, what am I saying? I was there at the beginning
Starting point is 01:02:25 of the year. Yeah. I was there for three months or how long was it? Oh, that's amazing. I'm only going for like two weeks. Where are you going? I'm doing five,
Starting point is 01:02:31 five cities. Yeah, I'm doing Perth, Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, and then I'm going over to Auckland, New Zealand. Oh, New Zealand. Great, dude. Not Tasmania, huh?
Starting point is 01:02:40 No, I can't do it. Okay, not allowed. I don't want to get into it. Yeah, I was just going to say. Can't do it, won't do it. Yeah, I do, you know, I got my tour it. Yeah, I was just going to say. Can't do it, won't do it. Yeah, I got my tour going on, which is great. That's huge. There's big cities, which is fun.
Starting point is 01:02:51 So we shot the movie in Melbourne. I obviously am partial to it. Dude, I got a big, big crush on that place. Do you? There was a couple of moments that my wife came down for, she came down for the second half of the shoot and was like, what if we could live in a place like and i said i i would do it i mean i thought if i ever had a time in my career when i could say i'm good for now for
Starting point is 01:03:12 a while for a while i could go down there for a while oh i love melbourne i don't know something about it it's beautiful australia's been on my bucket list forever since i've been like 14 years old you're gonna love it man you're gonna have so much fun i know you're not you said you're not going to tasmania but i if you know if there's a chance to skip down there man is it wonderful there's this place i've talked about ad nauseum uh called the mona show him the mona tasmania um yeah so it's a museum this guy it's a brilliant story too it's actually it's so wild the mona is a uh a museum where this man who is a gambler or whatever, that's it from the outside.
Starting point is 01:03:47 Oh, wow. That's his home, dude. So, so... Isn't that from a movie? I don't know. Yeah, there's a doc there. Isn't that from Mission Impossible? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:03:58 But I have no idea. I'm not good at that kind of stuff. I'm 95% sure that's from Mission Impossible. Is it really? Yeah. Where he, like, pulls into it or something? Where he pulls into it. I think, oh, so he has the Mona?
Starting point is 01:04:08 So this guy, so this guy is a, was a brilliant gambler, investor, whatever. I think he did so good at gambling, and I might be telling the story wrong, but they banned him from gambling because he was kind of like learning how to card count and trick. But he made all this money, like tons and tons and tons of money. So he opened up this, he built this place on the water and um he wanted to make it a museum and he started his collection added over the years and so he lives there you can physically see him sometimes walking around upstairs when you're in one of the restaurants and it's a full museum and it continues to expand as time has gone on but it's everything from
Starting point is 01:04:40 picasso to a guy that you know a 27 year 27-year-old new artist kid that lives in Australia. So he's got everything under the sun. But it's a lot of it's interactive art, which I think is incredible. You get to paint. You have to. You have to make something before you leave. He's got to sell something. It's like, come on.
Starting point is 01:04:57 Here you go. No, a lot of it is like live interactive art where you physically experience. You go into a room and it's noise or sound. Yeah, yeah. I couldn't explain it, but it's better than that that it's one of the coolest places yeah the museum of old and new art the mona one of the greatest places i've ever visited in my life if you're ever down in tasmania please go down there uh you get a commission i do i'm getting kicked this episode of whiskey ginger is sponsored by mona use code ginger freak that's right use code whisk but
Starting point is 01:05:23 you know what's great about this? And this is something that I think you'll experience because you've done this, you've had this experience before as you go overseas. I don't want to sound like this annoying American,
Starting point is 01:05:32 but a lot of times other countries have a little bit better of a sense of humor about themselves and they don't take themselves that serious and they're allowed
Starting point is 01:05:41 to be risque or crude or gross for the sake of the comedy right right like there's a lot of comedy involved this guy was very very funny so you know a lot of stuff for lack of a better example it'd be like um you know this elevator doesn't work from time to time and it's a permanent sign you know it's like stuff like that where it's like it's a beautiful joke yeah that in america it's like lawsuit panic you know what i mean but like it's like, it's a beautiful joke that in America, it's like lawsuit, panic. You know what I mean? But it's stuff like that that I think-
Starting point is 01:06:09 Refreshing. Yeah, it really is. And they do it so well, particularly at the Mona. Everything is kind of playful and loose and it doesn't take itself that serious. But the most impressive thing, I'm gonna stop rambling in a second. I'm just promoting it.
Starting point is 01:06:23 Artists have residencies there. So there will be a harpist in one room. There'll be a pianist in one room. There'll be a physical sculptor in a second. I'm just promoting it. Artists have residencies there. So there will be a harpist in one room. There will be a pianist in one room. There will be a physical sculptor in another room. And they start in the morning and they work all day. And then at night they show their work. So they'll play their piece or show their art or whatever. And it's amazing to watch.
Starting point is 01:06:39 If you had eight hours of your day genuinely on vacation, you should go at the beginning of the day, leave, and then come back at night and look at the art or go at the beginning of the day leave and then come back at night and look at the art of look at the music so you see it be happening and you see the end product that's pretty incredible dude but they're doing it in front of you and they do it in front of your face like right in front it's so amazing that they sit there how did you find it we were suggested to go to the Mona from a friend oh really I think somebody I know had suggested it to me so you suggested to me so now we're friends friend. Oh, really? I think somebody I know had suggested it to me. So you suggested to me. So now we're friends. There we are. Perfect. God bless.
Starting point is 01:07:07 Yeah. Great. That was, no, somebody had said they have a wall of vaginas, which is one of my favorite. Look at the wall of vaginas. There is a sculpting of every vagina, you know, and it's, you know, it's, it's a tasteful, it's not, but it's funny. It's like lighthearted, but yes, there's a wall of massive wall of vaginas in there and all shapes his eyes is. Yeah. And it's brilliant because it's pretty art. It's very pretty, but it's also, it makes everyone start a conversation, but not in a gross way.
Starting point is 01:07:34 You know what I mean? Which one? Yeah. Mom, come here. It just makes these funny conversations. You hear everyone joking about it because it's life and it's real. And it does that thing where it takes you out of the...
Starting point is 01:07:46 Was it packed? Was there a lot of people in it? Oh, my God. I mean, you saw the scale of this place. I don't even know, maybe 50,000 square feet or something like that. It's endless. And it's five floors. And by the way, everything is underground.
Starting point is 01:07:56 So you go down. I love it. It's like SoFi Stadium. Yeah. I mean, it's just crazy. It is like SoFi Stadium. I got lost in there once. Oh, I mean, that's...
Starting point is 01:08:04 It's crazy. That is a place where you'll I got lost in there once. I mean, that's crazy. That is a place where you'll go to get snacks once and completely lose where you are. That was the most insane thing. I had to go down. I just walked with confidence, as I do. I always do that. I'm just like, yeah, this is the way to go.
Starting point is 01:08:16 And I ended up in the spiral that takes you down when somebody gets hurt on the field, and they drive them up it. Oh, yeah. So I'm just hoofing it down to the field. And I kept opening the doors on every floor. I'm like, is this? No, this isn't it.
Starting point is 01:08:29 And people are like, who are you? I'm like, yeah, I'll see you. I shut the door. I'm going all the way down. Just checking to make sure the doors are still working. Yeah, I'm the door guy. Yeah, it was funny. Would you go there for a game?
Starting point is 01:08:38 I befriended Justin Herbert, and he said, come down to the game. So we came down before. It was really cool. It was great. He's great, dude. The Herb, dude. Yeah, so we went down to a game so we came down before It was really cool He's great dude We went down to a game I brought some friends And he said yeah just come down to the
Starting point is 01:08:49 Come down to the field level That's all he told me I was like okay great So I walked in up top I've never seen this first of all Everyone's built up right So I was like how do I get down there And nobody knew and there was a guy who was half recognized
Starting point is 01:09:03 He was like hey aren't you And I had a lany? I'm like, yeah. So I had a lanyard, whatever, I have a lanyard lookout. I was like, yeah, I just tapped it. I was like, yeah, I just got up. He's like, oh, and he moved the gate and me and eight guys just walked by him. And we ended up in that thing. I just kept going down and down and down.
Starting point is 01:09:19 And then when we got to the bottom, I opened the door to the one floor below. And I said, is this the field level? And it was literally like sport. There was like a journalist like taking video and everything. It was like there was like a conference going on. I was like, is this the field level? And it was literally like, there was like a journalist taking video and everything. There was like a conference going on. I was like, is this the field level? And they were like, no. They're like, who are you? And the janitor goes, one more down.
Starting point is 01:09:32 I go, thanks, pal. And I shut the door and I kept going down. You're on ESPN. Is this field level? Out of the back, I was literally interrupting everything. It was great. Well, listen, you beautiful prince,
Starting point is 01:09:42 I appreciate you coming here. I know you have to go fill your belly with food, and then I'm maybe going to see you at the show tonight. I hope so. You're on tour. People, please go see him wherever he is in your city. Let me guess your website. JoeG is for me.
Starting point is 01:09:59 So close. What is it? JoeGattoOfficial.com. All right, there it is. JoeGattoOfficial.com. We'll put the link in the description. Go see him and then watch out for that new special that's going to be coming out hopefully at some point next year. We don't know when, but you know it'll be good.
Starting point is 01:10:12 I thank you. I love you. We end the show the same way. You look into that camera right there. You are a singale. And you say one word or one phrase to end the episode. Now, remember, this is going to be embedded in history forever. A lot of people do one word if they want to be real
Starting point is 01:10:25 powerful and poignant. A lot of people do a catchphrase. But whenever you're ready, into that camera, you go ahead. Be kind. That's the best one we've had in a long time. In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk.
Starting point is 01:10:42 You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

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