Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Kevin Pollak
Episode Date: August 4, 2023What a treat this week. Santino sits down with actor/comedian Kevin Pollak! This guy has been in so many bangers! Grumpy Old Men, The Usual Suspects, A Few Good Men, Casino, just insane! He's also on ...one of the best shows about comedy ever made, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. His stories are the absolute best!! We're excited for you all to watch this one. So sit back and enjoy! #kevinpollak #comedypodcast #andrewsantino #whiskeyginger ==================================================== SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS BETTER HELP Get the help you need from a licensed professional 10% off your first month https://betterhelp.com/whiskey BLUE CHEW PROMO CODE: WHISKEY https://bluechew.com/whiskey ========================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show.
If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show.
Like it, subscribe, send it to a friend.
Let everybody know what we got going on over here.
It is a very fun time with a diverse palette of guests for you to enjoy,
like our guest today, Kevin Pollak.
Such an incredible actor, comedic mind, writer, poker player.
This dude is phenomenal. I love Kevin.
It was great to sit down with him and chat for a little while. If you want to see me, I'm back on the road in the fall with Bob. Me and
Bobby are doing the Bad Friends Live where we do stand-up and then we do bits from the show.
It isn't a live podcast. People ask that all the time. It's stand-up and bits from the show
and interactive stuff with the audience. You're going to love it. Go to badfriendspod.com.
Badfriendspod.com will be all over the place, including and not limited to Boston, Milwaukee,
Chicago, Madison, D.C.
We are everywhere.
Denver.
We're bouncing around, babies.
Come see us.
Go to badfriendspod.com.
Badfriendspod.com to get those tickets.
Enough rambling from me.
Let's go to the episode.
In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.
You're that creature in the ginger beard.
Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Gingers are beautiful.
You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.
Gingers are hell no.
This whiskey is excellent.
Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger.
I like gingers.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Witch's Ginger.
My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth.
I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today.
It's Kevin Pollack.
Did you see how fast I did that?
Too fast.
No, it was really good.
Oh, I mean, your listeners heard it, but I didn't.
Yeah, they heard it.
They know what it is.
A couple of dogs and sherm rogues just lifted their heads.
Don't tell people our secret location.
I was going to say, you're at the basin of the French Riviera of the Valley.
That's exactly right.
We take pride, man.
Valley boys for life.
You're not a Valley boy?
You don't like the Valley?
Well, you're obviously not originally from here.
No.
Yeah.
You can call yourself whatever you want.
I'm Westside.
Oh, you're a Westside guy.
But Mar Vista, which is like the last holdout of people showing up at your house saying,
okay, where the fuck am I?
What is this?
I like Mar Vista.
I lived near it when I first moved to Los Angeles.
I lived Palms.
Sure.
National in the 10.
Uh-huh.
Real great neighborhood.
Got robbed like four times, I think.
Yeah. House got broken into. Car broken. Uh-huh. Real great neighborhood. Got robbed like four times, I think. Yeah.
House got broken into.
Car broken.
Windows.
Yeah.
I have very peaceful street.
No, Marvis is very nice.
Well, that's a little, it's more upscale.
And you deserve it.
You've worked very hard.
Very long.
I don't know about very hard.
Did I say long?
You said hard.
You've worked very hard.
Amen.
I'm going to correct you and say very long.
You're long and hard.
From what I hear.
That's what Hollywood says.
Sorry, this podcast has taken a long time to kind of get going.
You guys, the writer's strike has really affected us a little bit.
Yeah.
Yeah, we usually have 15, 16 writers in here.
Uh-huh.
Just jamming away at the pod.
I'm supposed to have a meeting.
And, of course, I called my agent and said,
I'm not going to go to a meeting during the writer's strike.
Do we,
are we,
is this a joke?
Right.
And then he yelled at his assistant,
like,
why did we not tell him that?
I was like,
what is going on?
Pay less attention.
Yeah.
I was like,
I'm not going to go.
Imagine me driving through the lot,
driving right through the middle of everyone picketing. Like, guys, excuse me. I have a, I have a meeting. I going to go. My first. Imagine me driving right through the middle of everyone picketing.
Like, guys, excuse me.
I have a meeting I have to go to.
Was it a meeting for you as a writer or an actor?
It's non-disclosure.
It was just kind of a thing.
Oh, general meeting.
Kind of.
A fan.
For an actor.
As an actor.
As an actor.
A fan in a position of power.
But it still feels yucky.
Sure.
There's something about it.
No, you don't go.
I can't do that.
That's insane.
I mean, I'm about to start two films, but only because the scripts are locked. How are you?
Very good. Okay, good. You're about to start two films. Uh,
longest amount of time you've gone without working, by the way. Uh, when will this drop?
I like to hold these for about a year or two. This will drop in a couple of weeks.
Couple of weeks. Yeah. Um, uh. I forgot to ask before we started.
I had a very specific reason for asking that question, but it'll be at least two weeks, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
We can be as long as you want.
No, no, no.
Two weeks is actually perfect.
Okay, good.
Two weeks from this day.
Okay, wonderful.
Is perfect.
Okay.
Which we'll talk about later.
Longest I've gone without working.
Well, as my better half will tell you,
been together 15 years,
engaged for probably eight years.
No designs whatsoever from either one of us to get married.
We're not procreators.
I'll stop talking now.
Why did you do the engagement?
If you're not going to pull that last trigger.
My intentions known.
I got it.
A handful of years.
And also girlfriend felt like old after five years.
And then,
and then immediately my fiance was stupid
because everyone immediately wants to know
when you're getting married.
So that's got to stop.
Fiance is very stupid.
Yeah.
And then it becomes a better half.
And then, you know,
the assumption is that I'm with a man.
Why don't you say what the kids say?
What do the kids say?
Partner.
My partner.
That's actually the most like,
what do they say?
The most like...
Non-binary?
Yeah.
It's like the most non non fluid
non uh non-restrictive term yeah like it's partner it can be whatever it is it's my partner
yeah we in out in public say wife husband just to shut people up with the questions because you
don't want to deal with it no you don't want to have a conversation yeah no it it does drag
so hey this has been fun so what was the question? So you're better half, you're better half,
one as long as that you want to go with.
So she would always, and to this day says,
he was very big in the 90s.
So what happened was as a stand-up comedian first,
after A Few Good Men and I crossed the goal line
and was getting offers instead of having to audition
because I was Wors Waldo in that cast,
the only one people got to discover
basically even though I'd done a handful of films died in Denzel's arms spoiler alert ricochet
but um you know when you get offers as a stand-up comedian the answer is yes where where's the stage
how do I do it so I just said yes to the first 40 yeah literally six of which are quite good
that I did in the 90s so two of my favorite films that you're in.
Starting with?
This is the first time we've ever met, and I want to say this.
I don't want to fanboy out, but I've got to tell you something.
Well, I'm going to fanboy out on you, too, because we can't get enough of you.
But I've got to tell you, I have, as a kid, my best friend and I would watch a chunk of movies on repeat,
to an annoying degree, where my parents would be like, why are you watching that again?
What age?
Uh,
young,
a young teen,
like,
you know,
13,
14.
That was like the kind of the beginning of our,
like,
sure.
Get becoming cinephiles,
like wanting to watch things obsessively and quote lines to each other and talk about like,
and he wasn't even interested in the business.
I was,
but he just loved film.
Yeah.
Um,
but grumpy old men.
Sure.
Quite honestly, as a comedian too, was one of those, one of those movies where I was like, it's everything I want a movie to be.
Yes.
It's hilarious.
It's sweet.
It's got a great little bow on it.
Never sappy, really.
I just love, I just, it was so good.
It was, it just, it didn't cross the edge of like corny.
It was always. Yeah. Really, it just, the heart was the edge of like corny it was always yeah really it's just
the heart was so wonderful and also casino but we'll talk about that in a second but but grumpy
old men to me was such an important film as a kid what is sweet they were such great comedians
mount rushmore and my dad would talk about them like they were mega gods because our age i knew
eddie murphy and you know what i mean i so
and he was like he's like these guys he's like you want to talk about guys that are lightning fast
upstairs he's like look at how old they are they're still just like their timing was unreal
it was bonkers also they live together while shooting the movie so uh we were shooting in
minneapolis st paul their reps called ahead to find out where's the best suite for my boy to stay in.
Right.
They found out that there was one the best suite in Minneapolis-St. Paul.
Yeah.
So the agents are back and forth, back and forth.
Walter and Jack eventually find out about this bickering and say, well, tell us about this room.
It turns out there was another master bedroom at the other end of this giant suite.
And they said,
kick open the door,
we'll fucking share the,
because there's a grand piano,
there's a bar,
there's a kitchen,
there's a thing.
So the odd couple
lived together
while we were shooting.
What?
Exactly.
And then they would invite us,
a few of us up to,
every now and then,
you know,
you'd walk in,
Jack's playing the piano
and you just instantly
stop in your place
and defecate
because you can't believe
what's happening.
Your mind is blown.
Also for me, a wannabe character actor, these two guys had perfect careers.
They were character actors first and foremost who got to be movie stars and got to do the
most intense drama and the most ridiculous comedy also within the same career, which
just doesn't really happen, especially now.
So I'm around Mount Rushmore and they're just lovely and extraordinary.
Did they ever fuck with you?
Because those guys, I feel like they were always—
They fucked with each other for real, hilariously.
And Walter, one of the most intelligent people I will ever meet, loved to shock people with the dirty mouth.
Instantly canceled the course now
but we shot that what the mid 90s i guess so you could kind of say anything yeah but he um yeah he
was he just loved to shock people um when we gosh when we did the sequel do i get canceled for
telling his stories no okay uh When we did the sequel,
geniusly titled Grumpier,
old man,
think tank from Mensa,
worked a while on that.
A couple of NASA grads came over
and said,
we got it.
We got it.
Let us pitch.
Yeah.
So,
you know,
first thing that happens is a table read.
They're going to bring everybody back together
for a table read.
Walter's in New York doing My Name is Not Rappaport on Broadway.
So they fly.
The mountain moves to Muhammad.
We all get on the private Wander's jet.
And there's Sophia Loren, who hadn't been in a movie in 25 years.
Part of my childhood as the sexiest woman alive.
So everyone on the plane is on eggshells.
No one's talking to Ms. Loren. No one's
talking to each other. Nobody wants to say the wrong thing in front of Ms. Loren, who at 65 looked
like the most gorgeous person who had ever lived. So we arrive at the hotel. They take us into a
room, table, waiting for Walter. Of course, we go to him and he's the last to show.
And he walks in, still silent,
eggshells everywhere,
walks right up to Sophia,
having never met
in either their lives or careers,
and says,
great to meet you,
love to eat you.
First thing out of his mouth.
Did you guys lose it?
Opening salvo.
Every chin hits the table.
I would have lost my shit.
Every chin hits the table. It's shocked lost my shit. Every chin hits the table.
It's shocked first. It's amazing.
And then she says, ho ho Walter
with her hand waving at him.
And he's, while everyone's now in hysterics
because she was cool.
And then he says, I'm not kidding.
Everybody else clear out.
Yeah. So he was all about that
all the time. I feel like
because I have so many questions about it too.
Like, was Burgess dirty?
Was he always dirty or no?
Because they sling him a bunch of those outtakes,
and my friend and I literally, we memorized those.
Well, half of them mine.
Yours?
Because the director knew.
He said, Kevin, when we get to this thing,
I need you to throw out some for him to say.
Because they're all, you know,
whether childhood limerick nonsense or, know we repeat that all the time my friend
and my friend sean and i would say to each other when we call each other on the phone skin boat to
tuna town is one of my absolute favorite also the simplicity of looks like chuck's gonna bury his
boner is so funny yeah it got me every time it's pure because it's so simple yeah um just i feel
like uh take it right in the wild baloney pony.
Baloney pony.
Yeah.
I feel like everybody in my mind when I was watching the film as a wannabe comedian of
14, 15, I thought, this is the absolute dream come true, working with other comedic minds
to make this movie.
Yeah.
Also, Buck Henry.
Oh, my God.
The fucking cast was insane.
And Ann-Margret, for me, also fantasy-wise as a kid.
Oh, Jesus. Yeah. Just. And couldn't have cast was insane. And Ann-Margaret for me also fantasy wise as a kid. Oh Jesus.
Yeah.
Just,
and,
and couldn't have been more lovely.
Were the boys,
did the boys ever feel like the boys did?
Jack and Walter.
Yeah.
Did they ever feel,
cause they always feel,
they have this like timelessness to them that does feel like their youth,
their personified youth forever.
Yeah.
And they're like kids.
And so to me,
I always wondered,
were they competitive about their characters love interest
off screen like were they no no they didn't do that at all no walter barely cared really first
time i met him i walked up to him the director said hey nice to meet you and walter's standing
there he said walter this is kevin pollack he's playing your son on the on the film and then the
director says i gotta go check on the lights.
And he just walks away, leaving me alone with, honestly, one of the faces on Mount Rushmore.
I just shit myself again.
And now I'm standing there and he's just, you know, he has the face of a basset hound from birth.
And I don't know what to say.
And I foolishly say, attempt to make small talk.
Asshole move.
So, Walter, Scripps pretty good, huh?
Absolutely not.
He says, he just looked at me without a smile and said,
Scripps sucks, kid.
I owe my bookie two million.
And he wasn't kidding.
He was being matter of fact.
He wasn't even trying to make me laugh.
Was he always tanking like that?
Was he a big gambler?
Oh, at his memorial service on the back of the program
where his picks were that Sunday.
Oh, no kidding.
He had a serious fucking problem.
Wait, did he, is he one of these gentlemen
that unfortunately died upside down?
Did he die broke?
No, no, no, no.
Because you read those stories.
Like Ed McMahon, they had to like sell his house
because the estate was-
Oh, God, it's happened to so many.
But you're like, didn't you make $100 million?
Well, no.
Back, you know, I mean.
Where did it go?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Those guys, Ed McMahon and those guys were making absurd amounts of money.
For the day, especially.
And I remember hearing Ed McMahon, who would like to have a few at lunch.
Oh, yeah.
Got it into one of his renegotiations to have a limousine 24-7 for the rest of his life.
You know, I've heard this story. And the version I've heard was because he would drive drunk,
and the studio was like, if he kills somebody, we're liable.
So they're like, get his ass home every day because he would black out, which is unbelievable.
I mean, can you imagine pitching that today?
They're like, look, we've got Matt Damon.
We've got Affleck.
you imagine pitching that today they're like look we've got matt damon we've got affleck but we have to get andy digger car everywhere because we can't be liable for this yeah it just
to me it's yeah so back up a little bit yeah so math i owed two million two million bucks but
but um a guy like that probably did have a hundred million yeah he just he that's just the way you
gotta feel something i don't know if you're a gambler at all.
I just played cards last night.
For a win?
I was in Arizona playing cards last night.
As in you do this all the time?
No. When I'm on tour, if I'm near a casino,
I always go to a casino.
I have a weekly cash game. I don't know why you're not involved.
Well, you're a big poker guy.
No, no, no. Well, I am, but
this doesn't mean anything you'll
drown me you guys kind of small ball so that my friend nobody gets hurt okay we'll talk about it
okay great yeah no but i like to go i'm a sucker for i'm a sucker for going to have a little bit
of fun one three five two five what table are you playing two five yeah yeah well then you'll fit
right in okay great yeah the blinds are five'5". Okay, perfect. Nobody gets hurt.
Okay, good.
Yeah, it's the whole point.
We just gather.
It's catered.
There's a masseuse.
There's a regular dealer.
We're just fucking off.
Caterer and the masseuse and the dealer are all the same person?
It's an overwhelming gig you've bestowed upon somebody.
But he is awesome.
Rub me, flip me, feed me, hit me, baby.
Go!
So, yeah.
Yeah, he loved to gamble he told me a story that he and um fred astaire
would go uh to the ponies they'd go to hollywood park and sometimes down to los alamitos
and they would always sit and watch the ponies and bet on the ponies
and he could never get fred astaire to swear and walters swore like he was gonna win money if he didn't stop uh but he just
couldn't and it was like really really annoyance for him that actually ran deep that he could never
get Fred to swear was was Fred Astaire really like a like a hardcore Christian guy or something no
just super proper yeah as was the day that he came from you know those those movies those guys
with the middle Atlantic accent were pretty buttoned down.
They dare not say anything they shouldn't say.
That's right, exactly.
So after, I think he said 20 years ago when they watched The Ponies together,
there's a manila envelope delivered to his house.
He opens it up.
It's a cassette tape.
It says, play me.
He puts it in.
And it's Fred Astaire calling a race from the beginning.
And every horse's name is a worse swear word after another.
And he calls the whole race, having named maybe seven horses
with the worst swear words, most disgusting.
And he calls the whole race.
Yeah.
And then I said, you got to let me hear that.
Not a trans kid.
It's in a vault.
That's locked away forever, I'm sure.
Yeah.
I don't know what happened to it.
Put that thing in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame or something, man.
Come on.
Somewhere.
Put it in some of the Smithsonian or something.
The Academy Museum.
People would just.
I mean, that kind of stuff.
He was giving me a couple of horse names and it really, truly was disgusting.
Purposely to. Can you name a few?
After 20 years. We can beep it out.
Probably be tamed by today's standards.
Right. The word was used a lot
for sure. Sure, yeah.
But...
Fat tits, McGillicuddy, rounding
third and stuff like that. Yeah.
Like it wasn't... Like today...
Abscessed on tits though.
He went out of his way to try to be disgusting.
There was nothing sweet and endearing about any of these horses.
But Fred Astaire cussing was probably incredible.
And calling the entire race.
That was a thing.
He just didn't stop.
Wow.
It was enough to just name all the horses.
Yeah.
He went right to the wire.
He went for it.
By a nose.
And how was Lemon?
Lovely, darling.
Every story he or walter would tell
there was a ridiculously famous person involved you know like if i'm gonna tell stories there's
gonna be some names dropped because i've been insanely lucky to work with a lot of famous people
but they weren't you know so walter would first time i was doing off-camera lines with him
he said kid kid are you sure you don't mind doing the off-camera?
No, I don't mind.
All right, okay.
Because just Marilyn hated it.
And I thought, he's talking about Marilyn Monroe.
Jesus.
Exactly.
And again, not trying to impress anybody.
No, he's just, that's how he's speaking.
That's his memory.
That's the world he knows.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
He's not going to pretend to be like, oh, just a couple of local theater guys.
No, no, no, no.
Yeah.
Yes.
No, that's not who he's working with.
Yeah, yes.
He has that ability, by the way,
that I always loved about comedic actors.
You do it extremely well, too.
And I hate to group you in
because I don't want to compliment you more than twice.
I did say I would stop at some point.
But to take your face and do a turn from, it's almost like joy to heartbreak within like a half a second.
And I don't know why comedians, I'm biased, but do it better than anybody I've ever seen.
Because I think we know a pain that sometimes.
But also we studied.
Yeah.
We studied great comedic actors on film period i think that's where i
learned to act and i think doing the impression certainly taught me how to build a character from
the shoes but i think we studied the grades the moves the gestures one of the things matthew perry
when we worked together could always do was the entire uh blackboard michael keaton speech and
night shift breaking down the word prostitute uh-huh um he
would do that yeah well yeah yeah because we studied i just worked with michael keaton and
told him that and how if you were a stand-up comedian when when when night shift came out
and when you were standard comedian at that point and you were thinking about acting in movies you
watch it move and you go, oh, okay.
That's what you do.
Because he also could understand them.
Well, I mean, I know he's still got his name in lights at the comedy store.
People that don't know, Michael Keaton, some of the younger people may only know him in the more recent Birdman.
Or Batman.
Well, the newest Batman, again.
Yeah, he's getting a lot of play from that.
Yeah.
He's getting a lot of play from that.
That's wild.
He was my favorite Batman. I hate to say it. I know people that's got that. But he's getting a lot of play from that. Yeah. He's getting a lot of play from that. That's wild. He was my favorite Batman.
I hate to say it.
I know people, that's-
But he was also a comedic acting giant.
And he would say that who he studied,
who he watched on film,
and Jack Lemmon was one of them.
Right.
But you can tell that we all
are a little monkey see monkey do.
Comics have that.
If you're a comedic actor,
you can kind of tell
that we peel from something else.
And I'll be upfront about it.
There's guys that I just inherently will steal from
because I love it and I try to mimic it.
Well, a riff comes to mind
and you don't even stop to think,
where did this come from?
Right.
But, you know, even Woody Allen said
all of his early stuff,
he was lifting from Bob Hope.
The whole, yes, well,
complete lift from Bob Hope.
Right.
Just, I'm taking this now.
But you also studied so much,
like a friend of mine
said you gotta,
he's like,
his Alan Arkin
is just stunning.
Yeah,
well,
Alan Arkin
and Peter Falk
together did The In-Laws
which is,
for my money,
the funniest comedy
of all time.
But you studied a lot.
Well,
what it is,
it's a comedy acting clinic
that film
because the nuances
when those two are together, they're just crazy.
The scene in the diner when he, I lose my shit completely.
I had Arkin on the old chat show and I asked him.
It's so good.
It's so subtle.
It's unbelievable.
The way your tongue moves sounds like his tongue.
That's absurd.
I only like the nuance of doing an impression.
I don't, it's so pedestrian to do Christopher Walken,
for example.
Well, everybody does that.
If you Google Christopher Walken,
sometime over 30,000 search answers come up.
That's how pedestrian it is.
There are five pages dedicated to Asians
doing Christopher Walken on YouTube.
Right.
And they're fucking hilarious.
We own those pages, by the way, my company.
Yeah, we're making money on that. Yeah yeah you fucking are if there's an asian doing
an impression it's under our umbrella pal you wish yeah uh so so yeah uh you're not going to
see that lengthy of a search uh with alan arkin no but it is always even when doing christopher
walken i i'm only interested in the nuance of conversational Christopher Walken.
I'm not, okay, this can be fun.
Oh, God, I want to vomit.
But still, when I sit here and I look at the golf clubs, the way they sit there mocking me, it's troublesome.
That's what it is.
Troublesome.
I'm only interested in the whispers.
Yes, I like that.
The simplicity.
I love that. Yeah. I was never good at I like that. The simplicity, I love that.
Yeah.
I was never good at impressions like that.
I could copy people, not famous people for some reason.
But I was just exaggerating this sort of lift of the timing of comedic performance.
You do a turn in the last episode,
or the most recent episode of Dave of this recording,
which is, what do we call that uh sex dance what do you mean when you
break it break it b and e on uh oh oh consensual non-consensual is what we call it on the show
yeah yeah yeah so you do a turn in that yeah that's spot on ridiculous crazy yeah from holy
fuck i gotta get out of here too wait a second second. Yeah. You know, I'll tell you, and I'll tell you,
you want to know why I peel when I do stuff like that from?
Every single time.
It's, I always like, it was like,
the way Stiller acted in something about Mary with her
was always so fucking funny to me.
Oh, great.
Because he was like on the brink of total psychopath.
Yes.
But also super endearing and
like very lovable so i always when i read stuff scenes like that i always think about those kind
of movies that i love that were like these comedic love yeah scenes that were kind of
wacky but sweet but is everything okay because in in that i'm not we're not there's episodes
out so it doesn't matter but yeah the whole point is i'm so vulnerable to she's like
yeah just ruin me that's what she we did like 19 different takes in the office and the first one
was the r word which obviously was never going to make it right she said why don't you come over and
yeah yeah and then after that you know the director came back in and was like santino throw me 50 words
that she can say that because we're never going to clear that. Nope. So I said,
you know, annihilate, ruin, destroy,
peel apart, you know,
and she was going over and over and over, and as
she was saying it, I was thinking, man,
she's selling the fuck out of this.
She's a great actor, and I was like,
on the day, the same
thing. She played it the same way, where it was like,
just beat the shit out of me.
She did that one take, and I broke, because I was like, that's funny. That a it was like just beat the shit out of me she did that one take and i broke because i was like that's funny that a girl was like fucking throw me
through a table and you're like no but that but those kind of turns uh yeah i definitely steal it
i peel it from something else because like you i've said it maybe a few times i've never taken
i've never taken a class yeah i'm not proud not proud of it. It just happens to be a fact.
I'm embarrassed.
It's funny.
That's why I don't talk about it much because I signed up for one and no shit.
I went and people were loading in, you know, like they were waiting outside.
And I was so intimidated looking at the humans loading in for no other reason than I just was vulnerable.
And I fucking turned around and went right home.
Well, if I'm completely honest, I would add a fear of rejection to my reasons for not wanting to take a class. Yeah. I didn't want
to look stupid. I didn't want to be these other people. Yeah. Right. And I didn't want to hear
some kid be like, Oh, I was at Steppenwolf and blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, I went to
Arizona state. I was a fucking bum. Wow. Yeah. I was a bum. You know, I was a bum that loved comedy
that just had enough nickels to make it out here. So was like i don't belong in this these guys are real theater people to me i remember the improv was my room not the
comedy store but uh because back then that was the room yeah they ebb and flow no no but then that
was the hottest place in the world 83 i feel like in the in the 80s the improv was it even the
improv like what bud put together well i came out of san francisco stand up with late 70s early 80s the improv was it even the improv like what Bud put together well I came out
of San Francisco
stand up
in the late 70s
early 80s
and every big time
who came through
that I opened up for
said you're wonderful
when you come to LA
I'll help you get
stage time with Bud
at the improv
and they did
and I
you know
did you have a relationship
with Robin or no?
oh yeah
because he was in San Francisco
no we were very tight
and he was in one of my
HBO specials
in a really funny way.
And, yeah, we were good friends.
Yeah.
So coming from San Francisco, you know, with the dream of being an actor,
but no wherewithal to actually work it, study.
Dana Carvey was someone I came up with out of San Francisco
who had come out a year before me.
And so he said, you just have to learn to audition, you know, you don't really have to learn how to act.
You just have to learn how to, how to kill it.
That is very funny.
That's just as big of a, of a function of it.
Well, when you're complete unknown, that's, that's everything.
If, if, if TV and film is your thing, if theater, then it's a whole other experience.
So anyways, this woman saw me at the improv do stand-up one night and afterwards said,
I'm a manager and I think you could be an actor.
Do you have any hopes?
Yes, I do.
Come to my office.
Well, let's see what you got.
I go to her office.
She gives me a scene, sides.
Go out in the outer office, memorize this as much as you can.
Don't worry about getting completely off the page.
But okay, great.
I look at it.
I think I got it. I think I got it.
I think I understand it.
I've not been on any auditions yet.
This is spanky new.
And I come out and I do what I think is all I'm capable of at that point.
And I finish and she looks at me.
And I'm immediately reading into her expression,
which is she's going to take me to show business.
She's going to open up a back door. And there's a bunch of people waiting that are going to
welcome me with laughter and joy.
He's here.
And through that staring expression, instead of that, she says, well, listen, you know,
you're, you're a really good standup and, um, acting's not for everyone, but you know,
she wasn't, she's just being matter of fact.
Hey, let's call her right
now well i think where are you at now marlene huh what uh what cvs are you working at marlene i gave
up on that necessity a long time ago i just kept working yeah that's well that's the best way to
pay back those kind of things it's like okay but okay. But it was a great eye-opener at a very, very important time
that told me,
you're nowhere near ready for any of this.
You better learn how to audition
as your friend Dana suggested
and that's what happened.
It was a valuable lesson.
I went on hundreds of auditions, by the way,
before I got anything.
Hundreds, hundreds, hundreds.
Yeah.
No exaggeration.
Hundreds.
How did you land Casino?
Casino being my literal favorite movie of all time.
Oh, wow.
Truthfully.
Yeah, yeah.
I think if it comes up before Goodfellas,
it lands as Marty's masterpiece, but...
I think it's a great...
There's only one thing that bothers me about it.
Do you know the scene?
Everybody jokes about it.
Golly.
What's the one visual thing that you're like,
ugh, fuck, that looks, I don't like that.
You don't know?
Eyeball popping?
No, actually.
No, not bad.
I don't know.
The car.
The bomb in the car.
You see the dummy swap and it's-
Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah.
Sure.
I sure hate it.
Sure.
Well, it's 1994.
I know, but it's like, he's so smart.
Why wouldn't you shoot that in a way where you barely see it? It's all in post and it was the best they had in 1994. I know, but it's like, he's so smart. Why wouldn't you shoot that in a way where you barely see it?
It's all in post and it was the best they had in 1994.
I'm going to call him.
I owe him a call to fix some of that stuff.
Good for you.
He's waiting in my car.
Yeah, so you keep him in the car.
Marty's just sitting in the front seat.
Yeah.
Where are we going?
Yeah.
No, I mean, the movie is, and my editor's got to blank this out,
I mean, the movie is, and my editor's got to blank this out, but my favorite scene by a landslide is when he's like, do you know he insulted Billy?
He called me a, he told me to go fuck myself.
Yeah.
The way he goes, do you call my friend a, you told him to go fuck himself?
Yeah.
The way he does that when he beats him with the phone i could watch a thousand times and on a plane i've watched it on my ipad and been to my wife like
and she's like i know it's like she knows how much i like it and i'm like it's so good it's so
good and powerful and that structure that's that's crazy anyway tell me how you got casino
we'll we can it's obnoxious tell me what they just called
you marty was like you're in it's worse it's more obnoxious than that yeah i'm on the set of the
usual suspects and my agent calls and says phenomenal by the way you've been offered martin
scorsese's next film that takes place in vegas written by nick pelegi he wrote goodfellas
and i said you can stop talking fuck the answer is answer is yes. He said, well, um.
Well, they want to pay you 50 million.
No, nothing.
Nothing.
No, nothing.
Coffee and donuts.
I mean, it's all relative.
It's a lot of money, but it was not.
No, no, no.
I know.
I know.
Yeah.
So, but he says the ritual with Marty, as you'll be forced to call him, and Bob, go
fuck yourself.
Never called either one of them those names.
Yeah.
Mr. scorsese
probably yeah uh the thing with marty and bob is you have to have a sit with each of them separately
uh it's just a ritual if you're in the main cast and you're not uh sharon stone i said okay yeah
no i'm happy to do that but is it an audition no no just just go sit you'd have a little sit with
each of them it It's nothing.
I said, oh, so they just want to make sure I'm not an asshole and I'm not going to be a sycophant.
Chris Farley's character in that Saturday Night Live sketch.
Right, right.
So I said – Remember when you –
Yeah.
I said, I can do that.
I can withhold from my real feeling.
So the first meeting is with De Niro.
my real feeling. So the first meeting is with De Niro. It's in a bungalow at the Bel Air Hotel,
which is a sprawling series of bungalows in the foothills of Bel Air, one of the richest communities in the world. And I get out of my car and I met in the lobby by Don Rickles,
who also has to have a set with De Niro and the casting director, Ellen Lewis.
And she says, okay, I'm going to walk you into, I'm going to go check to see if he's ready.
And I'm going to walk you to the bungalow and, you know, basically don't say anything.
He really, I said, oh, I'm not going to speak.
Sit and stare, kid.
Oh, I'm not going to speak.
to speak sit and stare kid oh i'm not going to speak but now i'm i'm in full uh face and hair of the usual suspects which is a lot of facial hair unkept uh ridiculous hair nothing like back in
the 90s when i had hair nothing like the mr impeccable who i'm going to play in casino
right so i was so fucking stupid i brought an 8x10 of myself to show i don't normally
look like this and i was going to hold in front of my face when he opened when he opened this is
me normally yeah yeah that's how intimidated i am and then i thought wait a minute didn't your
agent say don't fuck this up yeah yeah so i left the picture in the car smart so ellen says let me
go check and then i sit with rickles, and Rickles tells me, by the way,
the most enjoyable part of the whole experience
by a million miles is
hanging out with Rickles. Yeah. The two Jew comics
on the set, just, oh
fuck, he's the hero for me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he tells me during
this sit that he knows he owns
De Niro. What do you mean? No, no, he tells me.
When De Niro grew up, he was part
of the doo-wop group, a peer peer group on the street corners of New York.
And it was a put-down group or a doo-wop group.
Sorry.
He was in the put-down group.
Demir De Niro was in the put-down group.
You mother this, you mother that.
I think they called it running the numbers.
There's a couple of different names for it.
But to those guys in that corner, that peer group, Rickles was in fact God.
Yeah.
And Rickles tells me he knows this about De Niro, that he worships him.
And Rickles says, you are not going to believe how I'm going to demolish this guy on set.
And I don't know if he's saying this to make me laugh.
Yeah, well, it's working.
It's the funniest thing I've ever heard.
And I can't wait.
As long as I don't fuck up these two sits.
as long as I don't fuck up this,
these two sits.
So Alan comes back,
walks me this long,
woodsy,
sleepy hollow pathway to the bungalow.
And I guess Bob
was in between films
and had been for quite a while.
Yeah.
Because the door opens
and I'm looking at Mr. Burns
from the Howard Hughes episode.
I said, have been. I don't know if you Burns from the Howard Hughes episode. I said happen.
I don't know if you're a Simpsons fan.
I am.
But that's a reference for a long time.
I got it.
Yeah.
So the flowing beard, the crazy hair.
I don't know about urine and jars and whatnot, but he's let himself go.
And every drape inside this $6 million a day bungalow is closed.
It's a fucking tomb.
And I'm worried about what I look like.
So he just, you know, sort of waves at me to come in.
And then he walks back into the room and smiles at me, you know, eyes wide open.
Is it in shambles like he's been boozing? It's too dark to know.
It's too dark to know.
Right.
I can't see really anything.
Something happened in there.
No, not boozing.
Just, and he was sober as a church mouse, but he just had physically let himself go.
Was not interested in being kept for anyone.
Sure.
And I don't know why to this day.
Never asked.
Wasn't my business.
Yeah.
Leave the man alone.
Yeah.
So as we're getting to the chairs that are seated across from each other inside one of
the rooms of this sprawling bungalow that I can barely see, he says, can I get you anything?
You need anything?
I said, no.
Thank you.
Thank you.
No, I'm okay.
All right.
All right.
We'll have a sit.
Okay.
And I sit down.
And we sit.
And he says, okay, so sure I can't get you anything?
No, I'm fine, sir.
Thank you.
No.
All right.
Just want to make sure.
Because I just want to say hello. See how you're doing. How you doing? I said, I'm doing, sir. Thank you. No. Alright, just want to make sure. I just want to say hello, see how
you're doing. How you doing? I said, I'm doing very
well. Thank you. Thank you.
Okay. Alright. So, you need
anything, really? Nope. Honestly, I could order
a sandwich and get you a thing. Nope.
Thank you very much.
I don't need anything.
Okay. Alright. So, I just want to
meet, say hello.
That, what I just shared, happened about four more times, changing very little each time.
Same thing. You need anything?
Before I was allowed to leave. But that was the complete context of the experience.
Yeah.
Nothing varied, nothing changed. He just kept saying, either I just wanted to say hello or can I get you anything? You're sure I can't get you anything. That was it. With pauses in between, long pauses, where I did not feel the dead air.
No, you let it sit.
I was not there to speak.
Do you imagine that that was a tactic by De Niro to see if you would?
I was convinced at the time.
I still have no idea because I never asked him about it later.
My gut says yes.
Yeah, my gut at the time was 100%.
Yeah, don't fill any of this in.
Because he's testing you to see. He's giving me every opportunity to be an yes. Yeah, my gut at the time was 100%, yeah, don't fill any of this in. Cause he's testing you to see.
He's giving me every opportunity to be an asshole.
Yeah, and also.
To try to be funny, to try to entertain him.
Maybe he heard I did impressions, I'm gonna mock him.
You know, he's waiting for it.
And I think he wants to feel you as a guy to go,
okay, look, I'm gonna be this big dick guy in this movie.
This guy's gonna be this guy I puppet around rudely.
Right.
How does this act and how does he feel when I talk to him like a regular guy,
but I let him sit with things?
I think he wanted to check to see if you were going to,
you know, get vulnerable or get moody
or, you know, kind of jump the gun a little bit.
Yeah, I mean, I wondered during and ever since,
coming up on 30 years, could I have said a little bit more?
No.
I don't think you should have.
I think it worked great.
Not even to be charming, but just to be a person.
Sure.
Because I do look back on my part of the experience.
What he was looking at was not terribly impressive other than, okay, this guy is just minding his P's and Q's.
He's not taking any chances, and I have to respect that.
I think he probably liked you for it.
Well, I think we'd have a different movie if you went in that room and said some dumb shit.
You'd have been somebody else.
So then I left, and she said, how'd it go?
I said, I have no idea.
And I meant it.
She said, he basically said,
have I said, can I get you anything?
And I just wanted to say hello six times.
And I said, yeah.
She said, that's pretty much it.
I said, great.
She said, did you say anything each time?
I said, no, I didn't.
I responded politely.
I'm fine.
And she said, perfect.
Let's go.
Perfect.
And we went back to the lobby.
I said goodbye to Don.
He said, what can you tell me?
Anything happen?
I said, just be yourself, Don. No one one's gonna tell you what to do in any room
right and i have no idea to this day what he did in his sit down but i can only imagine worshiped
him so he he could have done anything you want to open a window bob yeah yeah how about a drape
air it out in here yeah oh i wouldn't give anything for that recording. Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Because he would go after De Niro on set in front of everyone.
Right.
So during, I feel like I've heard this before, that he was shitting on people all the time anyway, but especially on Casino because, quite frankly, he doesn't, people don't, I don't think people know.
He didn't care.
Yeah.
He didn't give a shit about them.
Also, he knows this guy that worshipped him as a
kid, and he wants to enjoy
that. His experience is
going to be most enjoyed by giving
shit to this arguably greatest actor
of his generation and having him
weep in tears with laughter. That's
Don's version of it was fun. I had a good time.
That's the win. And that's what happened.
Pesci, on the other hand, not so much.
Why? Did not enjoy it.
Did not enjoy the ribbing.
Oh, didn't want Rickles to talk shit. Did not have a sense of humor about it
at all. Oh. Especially didn't appreciate
when Rickles pointed out that Joe was
so short, he was going to ride him around the set
like a Shetland pony. Now, he did
this in front of 200 extras on the wedding
scene, and I laughed.
A lot of people laughed, and Pesci, you know.
Now I get it. I get it i get it i'm a
midget and you're a genius go fuck yourself and he was pissed all the way back to his trailer
mumble him to him said you prick cocksucker fuck him i said hey joe he's just yeah you were not
a one the two years go fuck yourself uh i don't know how much of that you can air but no it's
great but yeah he did not appreciate it. In here, we pour whiskey.
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Ginger.
I like gingers.
Yeah, you know, look, he doesn't like that stuff.
I think some people really love it.
Sure.
Some people are like, that's not for me.
Yeah, I get it too, by the way.
I get it.
But De Niro took it and loved it.
I'm telling you, Rickles in the middle of a take.
The two of them, casino floor.
Rickles standing next to him, basically doing nothing.
De Niro acting brilliantly, doing the scene.
Yeah.
Casino floor, hundreds of extras, cameras rolling.
De Niro, you know, acting beautifully, middle of the take.
Rickles would just break and turn on him and go, is that the way you're going to do it? Like that?
No, no, you got the awards. I'm sure you know what you're doing. Go ahead.
I mean...
And De Niro liked it.
His shoulders went up and he, you know...
Yeah.
I mean, he really, he wept with tears of laughter every single time.
God, I love to hear it.
And Wrinkle just went after him every day.
Yeah.
So the other set was with Marty to finish the story.
Mr. Scorsese, yeah.
Of the two sets.
Yes, yes, yes.
And it was the photo opposite.
I didn't have any opportunity to speak.
It was in his trailer on the set of a commercial
or something he was shooting.
And he talked for 90 minutes and I listened
and it was joyous.
Wonderful.
He was given a lecture about the history of Las Vegas
and film, and I could not believe he wasn't going to stop
until he decided our time was up.
And it was just exceptional i mean it was
i couldn't even remember nine tenths of it it was just rat-a-tat-tat non-stop no breathers
uh everything and nick was writing the book first and i said what the fuck you doing put the book
down you know write the screenplay and a book eventually came out i think it's called the enforcer i highly recommend yeah about spalazzo uh nikki and uh but yeah so that was extraordinary
and then again i didn't speak because marty wasn't interested and then uh yeah that was that
what about sharon stone did you have any relationship with her she was lovely um i don't think i knew her beforehand uh do you know the
famous poker game in town norby walters the horrible one-two game no so he would gather
the most eclectic famous show business people you know don adams uh a ridiculous list of
and so one night at one of those sharon Stone dealt me in seven stud a royal flush.
And Norby Walters, an old-time manager who represented Bobby Darin, stops the game, arms up in the air and yells, that's it, stop the game.
He takes a photo of the hand, puts it on the wall.
It only happened three times in the whatever many decade history of the thing.
She dealt it to you?
Yeah, yeah.
Wow.
This will be fun for you.
Don Adams was about, I don't know about you, but for me in my youth, Get Smart was pretty.
Get Smart was great.
Pretty much it.
Yeah.
You know, it's Mel Brooks, Buck Henry.
It's the geniuses behind it.
And Don Adams started as a stand-up.
And so he's about an hour late to this game.
And I'm telling you, it's Ced Caesar and it's Charles Durning and it's just a ridiculous fucking gathering.
And he's walking in.
It must have been six months before his death because he's walking in so slow.
You just want to call for an ambulance.
It's going to take him 15 minutes to get to the table.
Wheel him in.
Yep.
But he's walking on his own.
And Sharon Stone is sitting next to me.
We had already done Casino.
Reaches under and pinches my arm and says, you don't understand.
My production company name is KO.
I've worshipped this man from the moment I saw.
He finally sits down.
He speaks almost never.
It's dealer's choice, so the deal rotates around.
And, you know, it's just kibitzing
it's non-stop kibitzing storytelling
and at the end maybe two more hours
Eric Roberts announces
I got an early flight to JFK
I gotta go so sorry everybody
and he goes on the back of the seats
and kisses everybody in the forehead and walks out
about 20 minutes later
it's time for Don Adams to deal and he stands up
which takes a minute and he deals slower than anyone ever has while standing and halfway around
this dealing he says in total silence is it just me or is eric actually better looking than his sister? And I'm thinking, are you fucking kidding me?
You sat on that for two hours.
Two hours.
And what a deep dive stand-up comedian, pure of heart way of saying, man, that guy's good looking.
He's so hot.
That's the way.
It's the most stand-up comedian's brain, you know, in terms of joke design,
I'm going to get these fuckers.
I'm going to make a joke about I think Eric Roberts is funny.
How should I?
You know what I mean?
Took two hours to craft it, stood up, and just laid everybody out.
Leveled the room.
And also, you know, again, he hadn't spoken, so nobody saw that coming.
Right.
Do you still touch stand-up or no?
Is it something that— Yeah, I did a gig last week in the Philadelphia area?
Do you love it as much as you always did or no?
Yes.
Yeah.
I did.
Cause you took time away.
Uh,
yeah,
I,
I,
I did a documentary,
which I would recommend.
You should have been in it.
Clearly.
We just didn't know each other.
That's okay.
Um,
it's called a misery loves comedy.
Yeah.
The premise being you have to be miserable to be funny.
Or I talked to, it's a Talking Heads documentary,
but it's 60 annoyingly famous funny people talking about making people laugh
and what that means and all the chapters of, you know, bombs away,
who's your daddy and or mommy, you know,
all the things that a comic goes through.
Right.
And all the aspects that a comic goes through right and um
and and all the aspects of what that means and and how and one of the things the reason i brought it
up actually is it comes through that all of our most comfortable place in the world is on stage
doing stand-up because many reasons but i think one of the main reasons is it's the only place in
our lives where we have control.
Even when it seems like there isn't control, we have control.
If you know what you're doing, you've been at it a while, you are completely and utterly at the reins of this ride.
The audience is going to dictate tempo and your energy flow maybe comes from them if they're spiky and what have you.
They've never met before this group of people.
They didn't come to rehearsal. They're doing very well as a group but it a boxer has people in his corner i've always likened it to a prize fighter we got people in our corner but
when we step in the ring we live and die moment by moment yeah and we are thriving on instincts
and experience so we're it's the most in control.
You know the story of how you're sick offstage,
you walk onstage, your endorphin flies,
and you're suddenly well.
You feel good again.
You get offstage and you're immediately sick again.
So all those reasons.
And it's my first love.
I've been doing it since I'm 10.
So yeah, yeah, I fucking love it.
But I never wanted it to feel like a job,
even when it was my only job.
When a lot of guys would go out for six weeks or whatever, I still would do every other weekend or something.
I did the road pretty extensively from like 22 to 30.
But again, every other weekend, never out for a period of time.
But I do love it. I'll stay away from it for a period of time. But I do love it.
I'll stay away from it for a period of time just to miss it terribly.
This last time I stayed away because of the Mrs. Maisel production schedule.
I stayed away too long.
And so when I had this gig, I was like, fuck, man, I need to take a look at the notes of the last six gigs I did and figure out what the fuck I'm going to do.
Maisel's a great show, by the way.
It's a, it was the version of a show that we tried, we wanted to try to do that worked,
that our show did.
And we did this, I'm dying up here on Showtime and about the world of standup.
Sure.
It was just so tough.
It's just such a tough world as a standup too, because everybody had a gun pointed at
us.
It was like, oh, you're doing a movie about a show about standup.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it was tough. It was really tough. Didn't that one come movie, a show about stand-up? Yeah, yeah. And it was tough.
It was really tough.
Didn't that one come from a book
or something?
Yeah.
Yeah, it did, yeah.
And Jim Carrey produced it.
Yeah, yeah.
It was tough, man.
Those things are tough.
But like,
what you guys found,
the thing you found was...
Fiction, first of all.
Well, but also,
based on so many real people,
I think that's an amalgamation of
yeah but but i think you guys were we were too we were too literal yeah history yeah and a history
so far removed that only stand-up comedians kind of cared about sure and those stand-up comedians
were going to be your worst critics well you were for nobody on our show and that was the problem
yeah because comedians are assholes yeah so we told a great to be to be truthful british fans fucking love the show of course because they're like yeah i
didn't need a fucking superhero yeah um yeah and american audiences really do love that and i
understand it because i agree with it as well yeah but you have heroes on your show people you want
to fucking see win in our show you're like i don't give a shit if all these people fail out of
nonsense i mean like fuck them i think i mean they're listen i've been crazy lucky to be involved
in a couple of absolute lightning in a bottle situations i think a lot if i'm being honest
well i'd rather you say i think your whole fucking career has been you made so many bangers it's
almost like even if you fucked up a ton, it'll never be known.
Well, yeah.
Because the fuck-ups weren't that bad.
Not that many people see the fuck-ups also.
But some people do fuck-ups and it ruins some of their good shit.
Sure.
But that's also the joy of the character actor.
I never had the responsibility of selling a single ticket.
So my career is on to the next one.
It's not on your shoulders.
Never.
So, yeah, the glory and the credit and the blame is going to be the other guys.
Yeah, put it on those guys.
Or women.
But I meant lightning in a bottle like when – I say, obviously, usual suspects is lightning in a bottle because none of those people were really famous at the time.
And people ask me for further proof.
I say you needn't look any further than the fact fact
that steven balden is great in the movie yeah if you want to know what kind of lightning in
the bottle this is there's your litmus right there yeah he's phenomenal he's so he is and
then we're done yeah uh but that the the mazo is firing on every cylinder, every department head is a savant genius at filmmaking,
the production designer, the wardrobe, the cinematographer.
There's one idiot.
Beat Game of Thrones in its last fucking season.
You know what I mean?
It's bonkers.
Right.
Every, so yeah, sure, everyone's going to have a couple idiots.
But I'm saying as a working experience of all the ones over the last 40 years
the deck was stacked beyond belief yeah you're in a good position and those writers are redonk
and there's almost no reality that we have to simulate um other than when they feel like it
so not being tethered to that and also a period piece. And you could really be beautiful.
It's one of the biggest, if not the biggest export entertainment wise from America to India in history.
And I think it's the Bollywood connection because of the dancing and the singing and the colors and the palette and the thing and the family.
Right.
It's this worldwide ridiculous fucking zeitgeist bonkersville kind of thing.
So it's beyond explanation, quite frankly.
You know, I wasn't in the pilot.
I started episode two after the fucking thing had been picked up to two seasons after pilot, which had happened once.
And I remember talking to Tony Shalhoub day one, who I'd never met, believe it or not, because you either hire him or me.
Can't get two Shalhoubs, man.os no you're not getting two shaloos uh and i asked him you know because we're shooting the first
season no one had seen anything but the pilot and i said you know what what do you think and he goes
i think most of the jews on the upper west side will like the show. Not even all of them. Yeah. So. Depends how far you go.
Yeah.
So it's just bonkers why this travels the way it does to every age group, to every background and denomination.
Yeah, it worked.
It's bonkers.
And I think I have such a crush on, from a performance crush standpoint on Borstein.
I think Alex is like.
She's.
I think she's one of the greatest.
A true savant. And she gets to do dramatic nuances that yeah someone with those comedy chops almost never
have you ever seen the show getting on sure i've plugged it on here a million times that's her
favorite that's my fucking favorite yeah the the it was one of those times when a british show
is peeled here and we beat it by a mile. I think our, you know,
the American version that they made with Niecy Nash and,
and it's glory back half it's leaps and bounds better than the original,
I think.
But also I think cause she's so fucking good.
She said it was her favorite acting job.
Well,
if you ever speak to her,
tell her I lie,
fucking love her.
And I think she,
that's,
it's just,
she's one of those people like you where you're like,
man,
you chameleon through a bunch of fucking great stuff.
That to me is the ultimate goal.
And then you did Willow, which is hilarious to me.
That's insane.
And Warwick is the same age somehow.
Yeah.
Fuck it.
He never, they put him in like a timeless vault.
I don't know how much crossover there is before we go on to Willow on the Maisel front, how
much crossover there is on your audience and the Maisel audience.
But-
Enough.
Based on the date of this episode of yours dropping, I will break a newsflash.
Do it.
Right here.
My Mrs. Maisel pod.
I've already recorded 30 episodes and- What is it called? My Mrs. Maisel pod. My Mrs. Maisel pod. I've already recorded 30 episodes and-
What is it called?
My Mrs. Maisel pod.
My Mrs. Maisel pod.
Yeah.
Get it wherever you get podcasts.
Yeah.
Is it only audio or are you shooting it as well?
Just audio, but it's an episode breakdown rewatch.
Awesome.
And actors, directors, writers, cinematographer, wardrobe, all the savants that made this thing
magical. We break down the insights and back. That's awesome. Yeah. cinematographer wardrobe everything all the savants that made this thing magical
we break down
the insides and back
that's awesome
yeah
because I just
I saw
I was hip to the fact
that there were a couple
of fan based
fan created
podcasts
and so while we were
shooting the last season
I thought
oh I think people
are going to not
really want this thing
to end
and I think they're not
going to be able to
really let go.
Yeah.
The fan base that we've been meeting over the years.
And so, yeah, very excited.
My Mrs. Maisel pod.
My Mrs. Maisel pod.
Go listen to that after this.
Was it your idea or their idea?
Mine.
You were like, I want to do this, and they tipped the hat to you.
Actually, not even sanctioned by Amazon.
Wow, what are they going to do?
Come get me, Bezos.
Well, I'm done working for them. And my
agent said, are you sure? And I said, even if I am really done working for them, I had a hell of a
run, a historical run. I don't need any more Bezos money. I'd like more. Nah, give me some more money.
But I'll, I'll be fine. I just did an Amazon movie and it's so funny. They don't, I don't,
you know, they were like, oh, Mike come on theaters. And I was like, oh really? And they're like, we have no idea. I'm like, do anybody, does anybody talk't I don't you know they were like oh it might come out in theaters and I was like oh really
and they were like
we have no idea
I'm like
does anybody talk
I don't think
anybody over there
I think it's like
that's such a big company
that they're like
yeah we'll just
we'll see what happens
I guess
we loved you
in Charlie's movie
by the way
we just saw it
two days ago
oh really
yeah
I haven't seen
the newest cup
you pop beautifully
yeah Charlie Day
has a new movie out
by the way
that he's just wonderful
I love him so much
Ken is so funny man he's just wonderful. I love him so much. And Ken is so funny, man.
He's just a, Charlie's just a masterful filmmaker,
and that's really the calling card of that.
That's why he got so many people that really wanted to do it.
Sure.
It's a pretty good testament to your friend's faith
when you get so many huge people to be a part of something.
Yeah, he did and deserved and everyone loves him.
Why can't I think?
Fool's Paradise, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, Fool's Paradise.
I digress so many times,
but there was a,
years ago,
I had heard that you had a bowling,
like a secret bowling league.
Is that true?
Not true.
Were you ever a part of some kind of bowling league?
I wouldn't call it a league.
I was part of a bowling gathering.
I'm not a great bowler somebody said it was a secret
cabal where you guys sacrifice children well that part's true i'm sorry i thought you wanted to
know about the bowling that's pre-party yeah no we there was always a rumor because i'm a i love
bowling and people were always like you know pollux has this uh oh what i swear to god that's
in the comedy community, people would talk
about it, and I... Maybe I shouldn't
kibosh this. Maybe I should just let the story go on.
Well, I went one time to... I mean, we killed
kids. You did. For sure. Well, did they
deserve it? Most of them. Yeah.
Most of them, they're pricks. But it was at the Hollywood...
Yes. Roosevelt or whatever. Yes.
There's a single lane?
Two lanes. Two lanes. And I went one night
as a friend of someone's.
But I was just invited.
I was not in charge of that fucking thing.
I feel like that, no, let's just say it was yours.
Yep.
It was, wasn't it?
It was mine.
But you're not a good bowler.
I love to bowl, but I'm not a good bowler.
My, Jamie, her name is Jamie.
I better have Jamie and I.
I've been together 15 years.
She's considerably younger.
I raised her as one of my own.
She was corn fed.
Free range?
We, yes.
Yeah.
Please. We range? Yes. Yeah. Please.
We loved to bowl.
And if we hit like a 150, we're excited to be on the moon.
But we wanted to be at least conscious of what was happening.
So we took lessons.
And the first thing at the lesson says you got to have your own ball.
You got to have your own shoes.
So we have our own ball.
We have our own shoes.
And so people think, Ooh, these people must know what they're doing.
We don't, uh, we love it.
Yeah, me too.
Truly.
Yeah, me too.
And it's one of the few things where I don't need to score well.
I just need to do it.
Yeah.
I just want to do it.
I just need to do it.
Uh, two things that came to my mind.
One, it's amazing that you're such a seasoned, talented actor who's never taken a lesson,
but you have taken bowling lessons, which is fucking hysterical to me.
Oh, I cared.
No, I love it so much.
That's awesome.
And two, there is something about the guy who shows up with his own ball immediately
earns such a higher level of, oh, well, this guy must be something special.
Even if you're fucking around,
they're like, he must be just goofing around.
I instantly bring a disclaimer.
Because I'm afraid of those moments.
I'm afraid of that alleged intimidation.
I make it crystal clear.
We took lessons.
We were told to buy a ball in our shoes.
We don't know what we're doing.
But still, the equipment.
I've had some turkeys in my day.
Yeah.
Oh, yes, I have.
What's the highest score you've dropped?
Not impressive at all.
Truly not.
No.
180.
It's just not impressive at all in any conversation.
I love to roll me some stones, man.
Well, I'm sure.
I feel like you're not only athletic, but a competitor and a natural.
At any sport, you decide, I'm going to get good at it.
I'm pretty good at it.
Yeah.
Bowling and bar games.
Coming from Chicagoago you've
hit 250 yeah yep yes i have yeah a couple of times i've coming from chicago it's almost like the only
thing we love is indoor skill set games because most of the year you gotta be inside makes sense
so darts shuffleboard uh you know pool i'm not great at pool but i love pool bowling all that
stuff is like i love kn knick-knacky
bar games. Anything you can have a
drink and also participate in
I think is heaven on earth.
Because seven months indoors, you know what I mean?
And even when it starts to get nice,
it fucking rains again.
My parents are just like, oh, it's beautiful here
tomorrow. They're like, fucking Chicago.
It's miserable, you know?
But also, that's why... Chicago was the first city I went to, I think,
when I heard a local say,
if you don't like the weather, wait 20 minutes.
It does feel like you can get a good shift,
but then when it's bad, it's-
Oof.
Because they might be saying, wait 20 minutes,
it's going to get fucking way worse.
Yeah.
I've only felt more intense when
at a very specific corner in winnipeg
which is known world over yeah as the windiest coldest corner uh north winnipeg and i've never
i've never been i've been all over canada but i've never been to winnipeg i wrote about it in
my book how i slept my way to the middle uh it's the coldest i've ever been to this day in fact
if i get a script and it opens with exterior night
that's a hard pass that's dude i i know that's so funny i just read something today on the plane
and this i'm not i don't want to say but the first scene was a thing where i go i don't want to
fucking shoot that like immediately i think of like i'm gonna be wet I go, I don't want to fucking shoot that. Like immediately I think of like, am I going to be wet?
I don't know if I can be in a pond in the middle.
Immediately my first thought, I like almost like put down my iPad like, well, I don't want to do that.
How can they get around me?
I tried to talk myself out of on a Zoom meeting with a writer director with this very sort of situation on this other script.
And she said, we're shooting day, night for day now. So our day for night day for night yeah so you won't you don't have to worry
about great uh we'll be in a garage not outside great i said oh let's keep talking yeah add more
elements we did and this movie i just did we were they were like we have to go in this pond and the
scene we're shooting is uh um we're like cleaning up uh waste or. It's like a, and it's a montage scene.
And.
So no dialogue?
No.
That's helpful.
I know.
But they mic packed us
and they wrapped them in condoms
just in case you pick something up.
You know,
like the lovely sound guys
are always like,
just in case.
And you're like,
this is a,
this will be a,
this,
they won't even use this fucking shot.
I promise.
So of course we get in there
and I turned to one of the actors and I was like,
do you think anybody like test in this pond water to make sure like we should be
in this?
And they were like,
yeah.
Did anybody make sure like this is okay?
Where the fuck were you?
That you were,
we were in Australia,
down in Australia.
Yeah.
We were down.
Well,
there were creatures in that water that could have killed you.
That's what I meant.
I was like,
did anybody test to make sure this is like a safe place for us to be and i wasn't worried about like i was like is
this is this okay and then of course uh one of the guys like nah mate you're fine yeah i was like
who's that guy yeah and they were like he's i don't i think he's one of the dundee's grandchild
i think he's one of the managers of the property i was like oh yeah sure okay he's selling tours
great yeah yeah the guy who we paid to be here.
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure he's going to be like, nah, everything's all right.
My first movie where I felt I was being invited into the actual world of acting is Barry Levinson's
Jew saga called Avalon.
And it's actually called Barry Levinson's Jew saga Avalon.
On the one sheet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so I found out working on it that Barry is one of the funniest people ever and started
as a standup comedian.
Him and Craig T. Nelson were a comedy team.
Craig T. Nelson did standup?
They were a comedy team in the 60s coffee houses.
Holy shit.
And he told me the funniest fucking bit they did and remind me to come back to the moment
when I'm, I'm, I'm Barry Levinson is one of the funniest people
and his take on Australia.
Okay.
So he and Craig T. Nelson,
the 60s coffee houses where, you know,
there's a lot of acoustic duos
and a comedian here and there, beat poet,
like in The Gaslight in Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.
Yeah.
And so Craig T. and Barry were just so off-put by these self-involved, self-loving acoustic guitar acts that just drove them fucking crazy.
This self-important bullshit.
Their lyrics were garbage.
So they said, let's go out as an acoustic guitar act.
No one knows who we are.
Well, just now, ladies and gentlemen, here's Barry and Craig.
And we went out and we had acoustic guitars.
Very sincere.
Hi.
Hi, folks.
Nice to be here.
We'd like to play a new song for you.
It's called Tonight.
I love you.
Hope you enjoy.
And they look at each other and they tune up.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
And they both address the mics.
And they open their mouths.
And then they stop and look back at each other.
Ding, ding, ding, back at each other ding ding ding
ding ding ding ding ding and they tune up for nine minutes they just do that for nine minutes
nothing comes and he said the first three minutes the audience laughed as if it was the funniest
thing they'd ever seen in their lives yeah the middle three minutes they wanted to set us on
fire yes they absolutely hated but that last three baby we would look we would stare at each other
during the middle three one of us was about to crack like, I can't, I can't get to that last third, man.
You got it.
They're going to kill us.
Yeah.
And they just hung in there.
And then that last third came back around.
And you had the funniest people who ever lived.
That's brilliant.
This was still going on.
Yeah, that's so brilliant.
Yeah.
So his take on Australia.
He was funny every day on the set.
Like, I was doing a lot of Lettermans back then.
his take on Australia.
He was funny every day on the set.
Like,
I was doing a lot of
Lettermans back then
and I remember
I had one coming up
and he would just say shit
like,
I'm,
I think I may have
figured out a way
to save
the Coca-Cola
bottling company
half a billion dollars.
So what are you talking about?
Well,
and we're in director chairs
waiting for the lighting change,
right?
Well,
and my son,
Jack,
he's five.
We're walking down
the supermarket aisle and my five-year and my son, Jack, he's five. We're walking down the supermarket
aisle and my five-year-old son says, hey, dad, I want Diet Coke. I said, Diet Coke? Why do you
want Diet Coke? You're five. He said, no, no, it's less than a calorie. So I want Diet Coke.
This is some bullshit he heard on television. So no one gives a shit that it's less than one
calorie. Just save the paint that
it takes to paint the cans and the two words less than. Just commit to the one calorie. You're going
to sell as many fucking Diet Cokes as you are with less than. Just don't paint less than. There you
go. You're welcome. Half a billion dollars. I'm just shit like that every day. And I would go,
I'm doing a lot of them. Give me that fucking bit. That's hilarious. So one day he says, Australia, you ever been?
No, don't go.
Everything will kill you.
Everything over there.
They got a snake that cannot run a cheetah.
Kill you.
They got a spider that'll crawl inside your brain and suck it out.
They got, there's a host.
There's a host beetle that gets picked up by a rat and carried around for 16 years and
finally gives birth it'll kill you you know just endless yeah hated hated australia philly right
philly guy close baltimore baltimore yeah baltimore balmer yeah balmore yeah i loved australia i well
of course i fucking loved it but also there was all that
stuff friends were like what are spiders i've heard of the size of notebooks and you get out
there and just as you suspected you see fucking none of that stuff yeah i golfed every day we
had one day off you know every day i could sneak a day off i would dip out he means every week when
he says every day we had a day off he means every day i had a day off, I would dip out. He means every week when he says every day we had a day off. He means every day I had a day off.
I barely was in the fucking movie.
No, but we would shoot six days a week,
which was kind of a bummer because you were like,
I got to sneak one day to go drive far to get a course
and then come back.
And every time I was like, okay, I'm out in the thing.
I'm bound to see some shit.
Yeah, if this is where the crocodiles are coming,
it's out on the fairway. didn't see a one kangaroos you see everywhere and they can't
fucking stand them not a single one can box no i tried i fought three four of them they
fucking knocked them out they stink and everybody hates them it's funny every we think they're like
cute down there they're like they they outnumber australians three to one which is comical holy
fuck they're everywhere and also i mean there's a lot more landmass than people.
I ate them.
Sure you did.
And people back here are like, what?
And you're like, no, no, no.
Nobody eats it there.
It's almost like a, there's a liquor in Chicago called Malort.
Are you familiar with Malort?
I've heard of it.
Malort is something we give to people kind of as a welcome to Chicago, fuck you.
It's awful.
Sure.
It's atrocious.
It tastes like pine needles rotted inside of a vat of like acid.
Mm-hmm.
And somebody pissed in it.
At the last second.
Yes.
And that's kind of what kangaroo was there.
They were like, no, you got to try it, mate.
And you do.
And it's gamey.
And I actually kind of didn't mind it but i learned that that was kind of them being like
oh yeah gotta get kangaroo but nobody really eats it but they have it available at a lot of places
interesting almost as like a i don't know it's kind of like how wisconsin has to put on eight
ounces of cheese on everything no matter what yeah it's the exact same thing like it has to exist but
yeah but i enjoyed it a lot i just didn't find any of these weird threatening things i kind of wanted
to see some crazy shit nothing not one and the animal rights movement towards save the kangaroo
in australia is pretty much they killed all those people off well there's you know it's so funny
that you know why there's so many of these fucking things because there are no predators
that's why the dodo bird lasted another thousand years. It should have died like 10,000 years ago.
There's nothing there to kill these things.
Except for us.
And multiple times,
people have brought animals in to kill things
and then they get rid of those.
Yeah.
But it's like, just let them kill off some shit.
Yeah.
Like we went to the March of the Penguins down there
where they come on the beach
and it was beautiful.
Until the...
Well, there's no...
But there's no wolves or anything.
There's nothing to fucking snag them.
And I hate to say it
but once in a while
it'd be nice to see a wolf
just you know
take one out
get in there
yeah that's
mix it up
yeah that
well that's how I'm
you love bowling
yes
you get the concept
yeah I know
I like
yeah I heard it
take it out
kill it
it's tiny
hit it
golf
it's small
hit it
I have to hit
whatever's tiny
low to the ground
I have to hit
two things
one I want to thank you
very graciously
for coming on
this show uh you're you're wonderful i did see you that night that i went to the bowling alley
and i didn't say anything to you you did see me you were there yeah you were there that night
this was years ago this was years ago it had to have been years ago because i know how long it's
been since i've been and i and i and i didn't say anything to you because i don't there's that
weird conversation of like uh were we in the same lane?
No, no.
I was at the bar.
Ah.
I went with some friends.
Okay.
And.
It looked like quite the scene at the bar on the way out.
I always loved that.
Sure.
That bar was always a sneak, cool little spot.
And yeah, and I should have said something, but you always have that moment of like, I'm a comedian, you're a comedian, blah, blah, blah.
And, but then I don't want to go back to the moment with De Niro in the hotel room.
Right?
Our whole lives are predicated upon how do I let this person know.
You've also now been that, been the more famous guy who gets a comedian coming up to you and says,
I'm a comedian too.
Love it.
Yeah, of course.
I do love it.
But we're always nervous on the other side.
Right.
We're always nervous on the other side.
I don't care how big you are, how small you are, how big they are.
I hope even more than Pollock has a cabal of bowlers,
there's the word out there on the street that I'm fairly gracious.
People do say nice things.
When you come up and say hi.
People do say nice things.
So what he's trying to say is if you know him, say hi.
If you don't, get the fuck away from him.
Oh, let's be clear.
I'm not a big fan of people in general.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but if you have a connective tissue, like Seinfeld's always like, I can meet a
comedian around the world and I'll talk to him if they were, you know, couldn't speak
English.
We'd sit and just stare at each other for a while.
Yeah.
But I thank you.
I hope the cabal picks back up at some point.
We'll have to get back out there and start rolling stones.
Please listen to- My Mrs. Maisel pod to my Mrs. Maisel pod right now.
Go download it right now.
My Mrs. Maisel pod.
It's on the Instagram.
It's wherever you find these things.
It's everywhere you get a podcast.
You kids know where to get it.
We end the episode the same way.
You look into that camera right there.
Hello.
And you say one word or one phrase.
It used to be a word years ago,
and then people are like, I don't know one word. So one phrase, if you'd like to end the episode,
could be a joke, could be just a little phrase, could be a tip. This is going to be embedded in
the Smithsonian in history forever at some point, all the one word or one phrases of Whiskey Ginger
podcast. Whenever you're ready, into that camera. Okay. So Alan Arkin's son, Tony Arkin, and his
father, Alan, play a game called one-word impressions, where you do an impression of someone using only one word, and it can't be a word that that person's famous for saying.
That's cheating.
Mm-hmm.
And then you realize the trick really is to find a multi-syllabic word to give you more time to get the impression across.
Yes.
So because he's so popular these days
i'll go out as woody allen yeah
um carburetor
in here we pour whisk Whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You're that creature in the ginger beard.
Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Gingers are beautiful.
You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.
Gingers are hell no.
This whiskey is excellent.
Ginger. I like gingers.