Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Kirill AKA The Slut Whisperer

Episode Date: February 14, 2020

Santino sits down with Kirill the Slut Whisperer to chat about going from an art school drop out sneaking around New York with famous comedians to traveling the world getting paid to pour champagne on... butts and boobs. TICKETS AT http://www.andrewsantino.com/ FEB 15-17 VANCOUVER, BC, CANADA FEB 22 BAKERSFIELD, CALIFORNIA FEB 28 DETROIT, MICHIGAN FEB 29 ATLANTA, GEORGIA MAR 6-7 PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA MAR 13 CHICAGO, ILLINOIS MAR 19-21 - MOHEGAN SUN, CONNECTICUT MAR 27 CINCINNATI, OHIO MAR 28 CLEVELAND, OHIO APR 10 PORTLAND, OREGON APR 11 SEATTLE, WASHINGTON APR 16-18 MIAMI, FLORIDA APR 19 WEST PALM, FLORIDA APR 24-25 - SPOKANE, WASHINGTON MAY 9 PHOENIX, ARIZONA JUN 5-7 SAN DIEGO, CA JOIN OUR PATREON!!! : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast BUY SOME MERCH: https://shop-andrew-santino.myshopify.com FOLLOW CHEETO: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ FOLLOW CHEETO TWITTER: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino FOLLOW KIRILL ON THE GRAM: https://www.instagram.com/kirillwashere/?hl=en BUY KIRILL'S MERCH: https://lindafinegold.com FOLLOW WHISKEY GINGER ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ FOLLOW WHISKEY GINGER ON TWITTER: https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS OR WE’LL COME FIND YOU AND KILL YOU...FOR REAL START DESIGNING YOUR NEW WEBSITE TODAY WITH SQUARESPACE GO TO https://www.squarespace.com/whiskey USE PROMO CODE "WHISKEY" FOR %10 YOUR FIRST DOMAIN OR WEBSITE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If this is your first time joining us, thank you for checking us out. Please subscribe. Do all the right things. Promote this. Tell everyone you know. It's the greatest thing I've ever heard. If it is, if it's not, just lie and say that anyway. It doesn't really matter to me. I want you to push the show around. Happy to be back. This week's guest is incredible. Kirill is the man who got kicked off of Instagram for being too naughty. Pretty incredible man. I was happy to sit down and talk with him. I've known him for a while via the web, and I'm glad that we got to connect finally. Right now, I'm in Vancouver. Vancouver. Vancouver,
Starting point is 00:00:38 Canada. British Columbia, eh? I'm up there doing JFL Northwest. Come out and see me. We're doing one live Whiskey Ginger and two, I'm doing two hour shows. So two one hour long sets and then one live Whiskey Ginger show. Tickets are still available at andrewsantino.com. I think a few have been re-released. But they're pretty
Starting point is 00:00:59 close to being sold out. But go to andrewsantino.com for all that information. Then next week I'm going to be in Bakersfield, California, going up to Bakersfield, to the Tembler Brewing Company, which is so dope. I've done this before, two shows. It's going to be great.
Starting point is 00:01:15 And then the end of the month, February 28th and 28th, I'm going to be Detroit, D-Town, and then I'm going down to Atlanta on the 29th. Of course, in March, I'm going to Philly, I'm going to Chicago, I'm going to Connecticut, I'm going down to Atlanta on the 29th. Of course, in March, I'm going to Philly. I'm going to Chicago. I'm going to Connecticut. I'm going to Cincinnati and Ohio.
Starting point is 00:01:28 And then I'm going to be in Houston for Skank Fest. I just got announced that I'm going to do a one-night show there in Houston for Skank Fest with all those troublemakers from New York. So for all this information, go to andrewsantino.com for the Red Rocket Tour. andrewsantino.com is the only place to get all that stuff, all the tickets. You can go for merch like this dope-ass Red Rocket hat. We have shirts. We have beanies.
Starting point is 00:01:53 We have sweaters. We have all sorts of fun stuff. Also, the Patreon is there at andrewsantino.com, or it's in the description below. The Patreon is going to have exclusive episodes that you cannot get here anymore. We're also doing one-on-one content with fans, and we're going to give them free special gifts. So it's pretty incredible. Go to andrewsantino.com for dates, Patreon, merch, tour, all that good shit.
Starting point is 00:02:18 But for now, yeah, now, enjoy the episode. Whiskey Ginger is supported by Squarespace. Squarespace is an incredible place to go if you're trying to redesign, revamp, or start from scratch on a new website. They have tons of templates that you can choose from. It's extremely user-friendly. Of all the different website creators that I've used, Squarespace is probably the most efficient and user-friendly that I've ever seen. They have so many different things that you can do on there. Other than just the templates that they provide, you can publish your content almost immediately.
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Starting point is 00:03:17 business and take everything to the next level and stop dreaming and make it happen, you really should use Squarespace. It's extremely efficient. So do yourself a favor and go to squarespace.com slash whiskey. You know the name of the show, squarespace.com slash whiskey. Use that promo code whiskey. Going to save you 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Once again, you want to create a dope website for everyone to see your cool new idea or products. Use Squarespace. Go to squarespace.com slash whiskey use that promo code whiskey for 10 off in here we pour whiskey you're that creature in the ginger beard sturdy ginger like vampires the ginger gene is a curse
Starting point is 00:03:59 gingers are beautiful you owe me five dollars for the whiskey and $75 for the whore. Gingers, oh, hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again. Today, it is Kareel, the Slut Whisperer, or not.
Starting point is 00:04:20 We could take that out, too. You can call me whatever. Cheers. But it's Kareel. Kareel? Yes. Kareel. I said it, right? Yeah. Kareel. But I gave it a little accent. Dude, I grew up with this name in America. We could take that out too You can call me whatever Cheers But it's Kirill Kirill Yes Kirill I said it right
Starting point is 00:04:25 Yeah Kirill But I gave it a little accent Dude I grew up with this name in America It's been butchered But Kirill But you were born in Russia right Mmhmm
Starting point is 00:04:32 Born in Moscow Moscow I don't remember anything I was six when I came here Fully American Yeah you're American Yeah Like I don't have too much pride
Starting point is 00:04:39 For the motherland Other than the fact that you guys Got Trump elected That was the dopest shit Yeah you're welcome Thank you dude I'm saying I said thank you once i'll say it again bro i'm already ready you know i can speak russian i'm ready for this can you yeah but you said you were too young to remember yeah but i had to grow up in a russian household yeah yeah yeah like immigrant parents
Starting point is 00:04:57 are like you know yeah they won't let that shit go they fucking rule an iron fist where did you move to when you came to america brooklyn and. Brooklyn and then Jersey. And then I grew up in Jersey my whole life, but we were a city family from Moscow. So anytime we'd go to Manhattan, it was like Manhattan straight to Broadway shows, comedy shows. That's all. My family was very into culture.
Starting point is 00:05:17 There's so many things. But I don't know if they did it for real or just fake to look like they were cultured. You don't think they really loved that shit? I don don't know my dad will bring a flask to the opera i don't know if he was there for like the true like that sounds like that's like the most american shit on earth right yeah yeah he's like i gotta be drunk for this yeah not watching the fucking opera sober um i have a million and one question i'm trying to get to like one first thought in my brain but i said slup whisper at the beginning we said off camera do we want to talk about it you kind of iconically made a name for yourself on instagram um and in lack of a better way of
Starting point is 00:05:50 kind of encompassing it you are a comedian you're a photographer you're an entertainer uh you are giving me way too much credit why not what the fuck you don't think so do you say funny shit online yeah do you take pictures yeah do you create but i think funny shit online doesn't make you a comedian well i don't think you're a stan i don't think you're in what we do right right right but i would give you credit the fact that you put up funny shit on the internet right but i do it without but i do it without fear of bombing so it's kind of like i have a really nice safety net because i go delete oh okay right like you can't just like tell a bad joke and be like but morgan right can i do it Mulligan. Can I do it again? Well, I'm glad you,
Starting point is 00:06:25 I'm not, I appreciate the respect, the recognition, but from my perspective, like there's not, comedians aren't just one Avenue anymore anyway. Uh, but you creating funny content to me makes you a comedian just as much as
Starting point is 00:06:36 someone who writes a sketch, someone who, look, I mean, it's a vague term anyway, but I do think what you make is good online. Now I first heard of you or saw of you when you did an account called Slut Whisper on Instagram, which is now dead.
Starting point is 00:06:52 Dead. Tell me when it died. March 14th, 2020. On the 10-year anniversary of me doing all of this. It was weird. It was like a very surreal moment. It was about to be a decade. It was one decade. It was literally a decade, and I'm like, fuck yeah, wow, this is kind
Starting point is 00:07:13 of sad. 10 years of doing this is kind of like, and then all of a sudden, just it gets deleted. I'm like, well, okay. That's even worse than I thought. What the fuck? They took away from you. Do you think they consciously knew? No, I think it was the fucking, they were like, you remember when Instagram,
Starting point is 00:07:26 no one wants to hear about this, but like, you remember when Instagram was like bugging out for like two days? You don't remember because nothing happened to you. I remember vividly,
Starting point is 00:07:34 I was at a restaurant, Instagram was just like crashing, crashing, crashing all day with everyone. And then the next day, like account gone. And then I heard like a lot of people got wiped,
Starting point is 00:07:42 a lot of bots. And I think they just kind of went like, hey, we house like it's official like let's just like whatever new I don't know how Instagram works but I'm assuming what did you how do you think you got caught in the wake I don't understand what would have been your association with these fake accounts oh I think I was just kind of like maybe they just applied some sort of new like policy right like hey if an accounts had a thousand strikes that's their new threshold as opposed to like 10,000 strikes. Who knows?
Starting point is 00:08:07 Whatever it could have been. It's fucking crazy. We've talked to them and they've said like, that like, Kirill, you have flags for like, like all,
Starting point is 00:08:15 for every single type of like, thing you can imagine. I'm like, literally all we do is just make offensive jokes on the internet and I show
Starting point is 00:08:22 girls covered in champagne. It's the internet. Yeah. It's like, I'm going to sell you that. Right. Like sex and funny. Sex and funny. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:31 Yeah, that's what the internet is. Well, I mean, for people that don't know, I'll catch up people up to speed. So essentially, Slut Whisperer was a page that had photos, video, memes fucking of you. You were going to parties. You were pouring champagne on boobs and mouths and butts. And you were getting girls to do wild shit. And you were putting up funny content. It was just kind of like a stream of fun consciousness.
Starting point is 00:08:55 It was basically, I would give you whatever I was going through. Whatever mood I'm in, right? If I'm like, you know, I don't do this anymore. But if I was coming down from Mali let's just say it's gonna be a very depressing next day I'll be posting some fucking like John Cena doing make-a-wish shit right like it'll be a
Starting point is 00:09:14 lot of like and they'll be like what is this I'm like I don't know this is just what I feel like you don't have to follow this is my online blog it just happens to be on Instagram right it's just like I'm used to being a visual storyteller from just being a photographer and going to art school and all that shit. Where'd you go to art school? I dropped out of a shitty art school in Jersey.
Starting point is 00:09:32 What was it called? William Patterson University. Shout out to William Patterson, bro. Yeah, yeah. It was so bad. Who went there that you know? Me. It was so bad that, bro, this is a great story.
Starting point is 00:09:44 Especially if you have a lot of comedy nerds listening to this. Oh my God. So I was in college going for animation, graphic design, but at the same time I would sneak out to go to the comedy cellar and hang out with comedians
Starting point is 00:09:55 and got tied up with Bobby Kelly. So dope. Bro, so he's like, we want to do this documentary. We're going to film this shit at the cellar, and then we're going to ship it to the troops in Iraq. Colin Quinn's going to deliver it. We're getting everybody on this.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Will you help film and edit it? Because I was like the little fucking AV kid. I was trying to do anything I could for comedians in New York. And we filmed this documentary, and I lived on Bobby's couch for like six months. Wow. It was a really awesome experience and i wasn't even i was like 19 years old freshman in college are you doing a pro bono where you just pro bono this was just exciting to be around you know people that i admired so bobby kelly owes you some fucking money that's what we're saying right now bobby pay up
Starting point is 00:10:40 yeah no uh so then we shipped it it went off to to the troops in Iraq, and I got thrown out of college. They're like, you lost your full scholarship. That's it. What for? Because you flunked out? I didn't go to class. I lived on Bobby's couch. I was like, Mom, I'm going to class.
Starting point is 00:10:55 And then straight to Bobby Kelly's house in Manhattan. So then I'm like, all right, well, let me just try this Hail Mary. And I go to the dean of the art department. I'm like, all right, well, let me just try this Hail Mary. And I go to the dean of the art department. I'm like, so here's the thing. You're taking away my scholarship, but let me try to get it back. Here's what I've been doing for six months. And he literally looks at it and goes, this is more important than anything we would have taught you. You can have your scholarship back.
Starting point is 00:11:19 And then I got flunked out the next semester because I was like, well, that worked. So let me just keep doing because that's way more important and way more fun and it was just like it was i was like this is where i'm meant to be i'd rather learn from experience and have some fucking teacher teach me how to do photoshop sure well i mean it's funny because a lot of people that i work with that do graphic design photoshop and after effects and stuff a lot of them kind of taught themselves in a way right they learn a little bit from here and take from other people that they know. So those schools are kind of just an intro of structure to get you to a place where you... Right, look, I'm sure there's amazing art teachers at amazing art schools.
Starting point is 00:11:55 I just... Not at William Patterson or whatever. No, it was just like it was good. It wasn't like... I'm glad I went there because it led me to this. Because if I went to a more serious animation or design program, I probably would have not found all of this. Yeah, all the shit that you're doing now.
Starting point is 00:12:10 So then after you were flunking out of school, did you really want to get into photography? Was that a real thing? Or was that kind of an excuse to move along? No, I never even thought about it. I took one photo class in high school. I never thought about photography once in my life. I got a job at Caroline's Comedy Club
Starting point is 00:12:26 because I needed money because I was like, I flunked out of college. I'm going to embarrass some of my family. It's like the first child in an immigrant household to not go to college.
Starting point is 00:12:36 Can you imagine that? Russian Jews. My mom almost had a heart attack. She still cries about the fact that I don't have a college diploma. Still? Still.
Starting point is 00:12:44 You can have mine. Arizona State Journalism, it'll get you fucking nowhere. She'll be more disappointed. Arizona State anything. She'll be more disappointed. This is exactly what I knew you would do. Right.
Starting point is 00:12:54 Yeah. I'm waiting for my honorary degree one day. But I just started working at Caroline's, had a shit job, like shit pay, but it was so much, not shit job, but it was like fun as fuck to work with comedians.
Starting point is 00:13:06 And we had a camera there and I would just take photos of comedians for fun. That's wild. Yeah. Who did you take pictures of that you really, really admired? Was there somebody that you were like, fuck, I love that comic? There's one moment. I dude, I was there every night because I made no money. So I ate comedy club food for breakfast, lunch and dinner and then had to like take the train back to New Jersey. So I ate comedy club food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and then had to like take the train
Starting point is 00:13:26 back to New Jersey. So I was pissed broke so I would see everybody and then one weekend I missed, Robin Williams dropped in for Jeff Garland and I was like,
Starting point is 00:13:33 are you fucking kidding me? I was like, really? Yeah. Yeah. But I got to see everyone. You can still catch him now. He's still around,
Starting point is 00:13:39 I think, right? Hey. He's moving around town still. He's hanging in there. He's hanging in there. Yeah, you fucking... Yeah, you blew it. You blew it on that
Starting point is 00:13:48 of all the shitty fucking comics that you see. You probably saw a lot of dog shit comics too. And they're like, take a picture of this fucking clown. Who was the guy that you took a picture of
Starting point is 00:13:54 that you didn't really like that they made you take photos of? They didn't make me do anything. They didn't care. What was your job then at Caroline? Graphic designer. I would just make playbills.
Starting point is 00:14:04 My job was to make my job sound more complicated than it was so I couldn't get fired. Right. Right? Like, I used to go in and overcomplicate things because I was way too proficient of a graphic designer for a comedy club. Right? Like, the guy before me, like, used, like, you know, like, paint to make shit. And I brought in Photoshop and I made it so overly complicated, but it was done right
Starting point is 00:14:22 so that nobody could ever replace me. Right? Right. Like if I had a sick day, they were like, oh shit, we can't do this without Kirill, huh? Like it was one of those kind of like, I always try to make myself unfireable. That's what comedy clubs for the most part, like they're just so run so inefficiently. It's remarkable. A lot of times, not all clubs, a lot of clubs are great, but so many clubs are run like
Starting point is 00:14:41 fucking restaurants. I can tell you this though. You know, when I worked at Caroline's, all I wanted to do was own a comedy club. And when I worked at Comics, I don't know if you've ever heard of Comics. Yeah, I know Comics. Yeah. All I wanted to do was never own a comedy club. Sure.
Starting point is 00:14:52 Well, yeah, that's a very obvious. For inside baseball people, that's a very like. Right. Specifically obvious reference over why you don't want to fucking do that. Right, right, right. I was like, oh, okay. This sounds like a nightmare. It is.
Starting point is 00:15:01 It looks like a nightmare. It is. Well, a lot of people that work in fucking comedy clubs are working in restaurant management. These parallel things that they try. They're trying to make money off of selling chicken wings and beer some places. Some places take a lot of pride in comedy, right? Right. I used to do comedy works in Denver.
Starting point is 00:15:13 It's one of my favorite clubs in the fucking world. They take an unbelievable amount of pride in comedy. I'm not going to fucking badmouth and shit on some of the places that I should. They take no pride, but fuck them. They know who they are. They're trash. They take no pride in comedy. It doesn who they are they're trash they take no pride in comedy
Starting point is 00:15:25 it doesn't matter you're just a cunt that comes in they're trying to sell a half a dozen wings per table and six beers do you experience that
Starting point is 00:15:31 on the road a lot I don't anymore right but like you do at a point in your career every comedian on fucking earth
Starting point is 00:15:37 experiences that I feel like I have a road life of a comic I was just gonna say the parallel that you have I don't experience anything in each city I show up I see a hotel room I go to the party I go to the hotel room to say, the parallel that you have. I don't experience anything in each city. I show up, I see a hotel
Starting point is 00:15:46 room, I go to the party, I go to the hotel room and I get the fuck out. You go home. Yeah. For reference to people that don't know, now you get paid to show up to a party to kind of be a liaison of fun, an ambassador of fucking fun. What's a contract
Starting point is 00:16:01 say? Two hours. It just says, Kirill, two hours. That's it. What's your rider say? Two hours It just says Kirill Two hours That's it What's your rider? Do you have a rider of champagne? Yeah I have like
Starting point is 00:16:10 48 bottles of champagne Three bottles of Patrona A bottle of Gregos A bottle of whiskey A bottle of Hennessy Mixer You know all this shit And then like a whole rider
Starting point is 00:16:20 Of props that they have to get What are the fucking props? Oh There's Well there's a huge list And they have to choose like 10 Because like every club just gets like you said there's some clubs that are like whatever like we're just using krill to get bodies in the door we're not gonna adhere to the rider and when i show up and it's not there what am i supposed to walk out i just look like a
Starting point is 00:16:36 dickhead right so like there's some places where you go you're like oh they didn't get anything like i have to fight for like a bottle of vodka. But the riders got like kiddie pools, silly string. I'm trying to do, I'm trying to like just break down those walls of nightlife
Starting point is 00:16:50 because they're so fucking stupid. Right. Like it's so douchey and pretentious. Like it's all a bunch of drunk people pretending that they're like. Better than they are.
Starting point is 00:16:57 Yeah, it's really not. So like I love the ability I can walk into a town and the club that might normally not want me will take me and I'll be like, but you know, you can't have a dress code this night.
Starting point is 00:17:06 You can't have this. And I'm just going to destroy your club. And they don't give a fuck because they make enough money. Yeah. Do you think the return is better that night or then the residual effect is what they're really looking for? Well, you could take it either way, right? There was a period in my career where booking me would come with a certain amount of backlash. For sure.
Starting point is 00:17:22 I've been banned in a few Canadian towns. Hey, congrats. What are we talking? Are you from Canada? No, but I a certain amount of backlash. I've been banned in a few Canadian towns. Hey, congrats. What are we talking? Are you from Canada? No, but I know a lot of Canada. I'm just there. I think I'm banned in Barrie, Newfoundland. I shut a club down the second night.
Starting point is 00:17:36 In Newfoundland? The second night it was open. Fuck me. They booked me for a grand opening for both nights. I did it with, they were like, we want you Friday and Saturday. Monday, club lost its liquor license want you Friday and Saturday. Monday, club lost its liquor license. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:48 Holy shit. Yeah. But it was like, what do you want me to do? Like, because the town was so small, they're like, whoa, we're not used to seeing our fucking,
Starting point is 00:17:54 like, kids acting like this. It's like, well, that's, what do you think? I'm sorry. That's who they really are.
Starting point is 00:17:59 I'm going to put it on the internet. This is what it is. Yeah, there's a couple, they said, I think there was like, one fucking fucking college that said if I showed up on campus, I'd get arrested in Virginia or something a long time ago. Right. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:18:12 All of it adds to the, you know. It's the mystique. It's the allure. So this is what's crazy. There are people that, outside of what you are, which is like an entertainer, you're a body bringer, you're like there to fuck around and have fun. There's people that get paid simply to make an appearance and dip.
Starting point is 00:18:29 You are required to fuck around. Well. Right? Like you kind of have it in your contract. Well, I mean, the way it would work is, look, if I burn a club, a few clubs, word gets around, right?
Starting point is 00:18:40 No one's going to book you. Right. My job is like, bro, I'm being paid to party. Basically, yeah. Like I'm going to over deliver. Like I show up early, I hang out. Like these kids who show up from like, no one's gonna book you right my job is like bro i'm being paid to party basically i'm gonna over deliver like i show up early i hang out like these kids who show up from like think about it like my career is kind of built a lot on social media it's the way we all interact with quote-unquote your
Starting point is 00:18:56 fans yeah so when they show up in merch and they're there like why would i want to be a dick and not show up and be like i want to take a a photo with you. Like, dude, thank you. Like, what I've been doing is kind of reaffirmed. It's cool to see these people show up. Right. How long do you think you want to do it for? I'm done. You're done?
Starting point is 00:19:13 Oh, my God. Are you really, though? Oh, I'm so old. My hangovers are brutal. Are you really done for real? Like, I want to be hungover from this. I'm getting there. What do you think is the cutoff point?
Starting point is 00:19:24 I mean, I don't think I'll be able to change my like entire lifestyle but I mean like I'll go out if I want to or if I want
Starting point is 00:19:31 you know I think it won't be for 10 years it's been my bread and butter like I even if I wanted to leave I kind of couldn't
Starting point is 00:19:39 that's all I know that's what I'm saying when you say you're done it's like where you go so like to be honest the merch is like that's it it's completely e where you go? So to be honest, the march is like, that's it.
Starting point is 00:19:45 It's completely eclipsed, the finances of the parties. The parties are fun again because for like three years, I felt trapped where I'm like, shit, what am I doing? What am I doing? How do I get out of this? What's the next step? Because it's really easy to be trapped in nightlife, and then you're like the 50-year-old dude who's still doing it,
Starting point is 00:20:03 and it's just sad. Kind of, but kind of dope. At some point, that's also kind of dope. Right, but I didn't transition this into Hugh Hefner. I transitioned into the creepy dude in the club with the fanny pack. You know what I mean? That motherfucker was creepy, too, my friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:15 I went to that house the latter years. It was sad as shit, dude. The Playboy Mansion was garbage in the latter half. I went when it was way beyond the cool years. Really? And it was fucking so sad. Dude, he was getting shuffled around by this group of- No, no, but was everything else like-
Starting point is 00:20:28 Yeah, but you know what's so funny, man? Never meet your heroes. Yeah, fact. Because the internet has given us full freedom of sexuality and prowess, that that place doesn't have an allure because it's those things that you can think of in your mind of like women walking around in bikinis and this fucking- Yeah, but did he also have the same tastes he's always had so he didn't nothing changed he didn't advance he's like oh yeah check out these hot ladies i got it's like bro they were hot like the 80s 78 yeah like
Starting point is 00:20:52 do you see how do you see the girls that are coming out these days right the new model it's like that's like the iphone 2 he's stuck he was stuck in the way past so it's just kind of like it lost but was there like a little bit of like yo this is i'm on sacred ground kind of dude but honestly man maybe it's just i was jaded i was just like fuck i thought for some reason i'd saw see somebody fucking like i wanted something to happen to make me go oh shit that's the thing that happens here none of that shit right like that's uh that's like what stan hope said he's like some people just need to like that's all they had just die like you should have just like you could have just died at your prime and be just he should have died he should have died at the height of that fucking place like you know yeah like when the playboy like at the
Starting point is 00:21:32 time when larry flint got shot that's when that's like the peak of all their like that's when was that the 80s he got shot in the 90s i thought yeah so like 90s is peak right before the internet hits Playboy. That's it. If you got killed then. Who? Tupac. Biggie. Yeah. Hugh Hefner and Versace. Forget it.
Starting point is 00:21:52 That's what you really want though. When you get like, I think about that all the time. Would Tupac have been a great artist if he was alive? I don't fucking know. Would Biggie have been his fucking beloved now? I don't know. I mean, it's easy to speculate and go, of course they were so dope. It's like, yeah, dude, but a lot of guys were so dope. I don't know how, I don't know if mean it's easy to speculate and go of course they were so dope it's like yeah dude but a lot of guys were so dope
Starting point is 00:22:05 I don't know how I don't know if they would have continued and that goes so long for every piece of art ever like every art that you're like I don't know could that artist keep doing that shit
Starting point is 00:22:13 I don't fucking know that's why there's dudes that are like Steve Martin's ass he quit the fuck he quit stand up he was like fuck this I'm not doing it anymore
Starting point is 00:22:19 Eddie Murphy yeah well Eddie's about to come back see is he I hear rumors no he is he is he's doing clubs right now no he is he is he's doing clubs right now man wow he's got a netflix special well i can't ask you to answer that
Starting point is 00:22:30 because no i would answer it i would answer it honestly if i knew i haven't seen him but i will say this i am unbearably nervous to find out how he does because i admired him when i was a kid so much that now he's doing it again i'm scared i. I'm scared he's going to be fucking trash. I'm just being honest. I hope he's not, but I'm scared he's going to be fucking trash. Eddie has fuck you money. Yes.
Starting point is 00:22:51 But does he want to turn down fuck you Disney money, right? I don't think he's doing it because of that. I think anybody who gets famous, you know this, anybody who gets famous in any faction wants to keep it and sustain it, and at some point when
Starting point is 00:23:05 it's gone long enough they want it back dave chappelle didn't come back because it was like oh my god the money he came back because he was like i gotta be dave chappelle again right right you know what i mean like those guys miss but this is a long hiatus i know but like will smith dude will smith went took he went away from movies for a little while. Now he's on Instagram. He's doing fucking TikTok. Right, right, right. But he's crushing it. But the difference is Eddie Murphy, what I want is him to come out there and say faggot again.
Starting point is 00:23:35 He might. Huh. He might. You think so? Yeah, because- I would put, there should be a Vegas, you should be able to make a bet on a bet on eddie special like why is there no casinos taking bets like that like i would that's a good bet like what
Starting point is 00:23:50 special will be how many faggots do you think eddie murphy will drop on his special on netflix zero zero let me let me say this if he does if he does he does it will just be tonally a different kind of joke my point is like chapelle said just as controversial shit in his last special as he ever did before. He was just a little bit more clever about the wording. So if Eddie did it, I'm sure he would do it a little bit more. Right. I hope so. With a smarter slate.
Starting point is 00:24:15 Bro, I just saw Dice in New York. Yeah. And I was scared. Because he's made a comeback? I was scared. Yeah. And he ripped it at the stand. Bro, he was so good.
Starting point is 00:24:25 He took that same character as if it matured. Like, it grew up, but it's still done. It's so good. I was so blown away. Eddie could do that. My fear is that ain't going to happen. I don't know. I'm just afraid.
Starting point is 00:24:38 Is he going to come out in a wild outfit? The leather suit and shit. You know, it comes out in that red leather fucking suit. Dude, how much do you think he got paid? Honestly, I've heard a bunch of jokes about what the money is and Netflix will never admit it. I asked the guy who books specials at Netflix about it. I was like, I heard it was $200 million.
Starting point is 00:24:54 He's like, you didn't hear anything. That's not even true. And I was like, really? Because it sounds like it's true. That sounds like Chappelle got, what, $100? To get Eddie? I feel like it was. Look, rumors get out somehow whether or not they're total bullshit. Somebody said something. Well feel like it was. I mean, look, rumors get out somehow whether or not they're total bullshit.
Starting point is 00:25:08 Somebody said something. Well, I'm excited. That'd be awesome. Yeah, it will be. Hopefully. Hopefully. It could be trash. So, let me jump backwards.
Starting point is 00:25:16 What I'm curious about is like, we live this life as comics on the road of like, the hotel can get depressing sometimes. The venues get depressing when the fans don't line up the way you want. Like, when the people aren get depressing sometimes the venues get depressing when the fans don't line up the way you want like when the people don't aren't there for the things you want
Starting point is 00:25:29 like does that hit you in the same kind of way do you have those nights at the hotel when you're like fuck this is draining me man um i have are you solo on the road i'm i try not to be but there are some times where you are right it's it's easy not being solo in miami everyone wants to come with you sure when you're like hey i'm going to winnipeg they're like bro have fun i'll see you back in new york peace um yeah i've learned to deal with uh like in the same way comics have learned to deal with bombing where it's just like that wasn't that bad like whatever sure i've learned to deal with like bro bro, I've had some really shitty parties, but I still make the best of them
Starting point is 00:26:08 and the crowd has a good time. It's just like, hey, there's a snowstorm and 17 people showed up. Like, what are we supposed to stare at each other? It's just super weird,
Starting point is 00:26:15 right? You just do it anyway. So we just do it anyway. Just get drunk with them and you're like, hey, I have all this alcohol that's on my rider,
Starting point is 00:26:20 so let's get fucked up and then go somewhere else after. Right. Like it's kind of one of those things where, you know, I'm pretty antisocial that's on my rider, so let's get fucked up and then go somewhere else after. It's kind of one of those things where I'm pretty antisocial offline,
Starting point is 00:26:31 but when I'm working, it's like you've got to turn it on. Can you talk about probably the worst party you've ever had? The worst party I've ever had? The worst party I've ever had was Hoboken. That made the rounds. You've probably seen it.
Starting point is 00:26:48 Talk about it. It was the easiest gig in the world. It really was. It was so close to my apartment. It was once a month. It was so much fun. And this fucking dude just throws his wife
Starting point is 00:27:06 on the bar and starts fingering her in front of everyone. And I'm like, you see it in the videos. I'm like, holy shit. Like, what am I?
Starting point is 00:27:12 And this dude is yoked. Like, huge. Where it's not like I could be like, sir. Dude, stop. And it's like, this is security job
Starting point is 00:27:19 or whoever's. And then it just makes it on the internet and like, instantly. Everywhere. I was like, my career's over. The last thing you want to do as a party guy is be associated with alleged
Starting point is 00:27:33 sexual assault. Luckily, it took a few steps for the truth to fully come out. First it was like, guy assaults woman. Then it's like, husband and wife. Then they're like, cop and wife. Then it's like, husband and wife. And then they're like, cop and wife. And then it's like, all right, my name finally left all the clipping. Yeah, you had nothing to do with it.
Starting point is 00:27:49 I was just a, at that point, I was just observing. But it turns out he was an ex-cop? He was like some cop or some shit. And he fingered, he threw his wife on the bar. Yeah. And fingered on the bar. And you're right there. I'm literally, I'm like on the bar.
Starting point is 00:28:04 No, but I stopped pouring. And people there I'm literally I'm like on the bar Like I'm no But I stopped pouring And people see And I'm like Everyone There's dudes who were At the bar ordering drinks That were like
Starting point is 00:28:11 Like face Like literally Staring at a labia Were like How long did this go on for? 10 seconds Right Before it just was like
Starting point is 00:28:20 But it was all Everyone had their phone Right right right But the mayor of Hoboken closed the place down. There's a mayor in Hoboken? Yeah. That feels like a place
Starting point is 00:28:29 that doesn't have a mayor. Right, you're named after hobos. Yeah. Hoboken. It says a dog is a mayor. I talk about this all the time. We should have made a shirt for it that says that
Starting point is 00:28:38 he said that my party was an affront to human decency. An affront to human decency? Right. That's a phenomenal name. Oh, I was like, this is great. That's a phenomenal name. Oh, I was like, this is great. That should be like,
Starting point is 00:28:46 if that, I would, that's like a, that's like a, that's like a review for a movie. Right, right, right. I would take that affront to human decency. So, really scary at the moment,
Starting point is 00:28:55 hilarious a year later when you could be like, hey, remember that shit we survived. Remember that time when they caught you Yeah, I've almost lost my career a few times.
Starting point is 00:29:01 Or at least I thought I had. What was the other time? Beyond the, well, losing Instagram. Losing Instagram, losing Instagram career a few times. Or at least I thought I had. What was the other time? Beyond the... Well, losing Instagram. Losing Instagram was a big one. Let me think. Because you had 1.4 million people. When they kicked you off, you thought that was over?
Starting point is 00:29:14 Did you think it was like for real? Right, because I didn't even run a backup. I was like, I'm good. I'm on Netflix now. Like, I'm untouchable. Like, 1.4 million. Like, I got everybody. Dude, I had people hitting me up that I didn't expect that were...
Starting point is 00:29:31 That I not would say admired, but it was like, oh, that's kind of cool that people would slide in your DMs like, I saw your documentary. You're like, oh, shit. These people are actually watching this shit. Yeah, I was on Cloud9. And then I was like, year anniversary Bam bam bam Boom gone So fucked It was hilarious
Starting point is 00:29:47 Wait let me Let me correct that real fast The Netflix documentary That you're in That's still up though right Yeah It's called American Meme Yeah I wasn't behind the title
Starting point is 00:29:55 But it's the American Meme It's so funny I was just gonna say Dude it was great for my career Because I was the only person Nobody knew on that But I got to fucking Soak up the juice
Starting point is 00:30:04 Of all the stars on it because that's why you watched. And then I got just all the residual love. It's funny because I knew who you were before you did that. And when I watched it, you were probably the only one I was interested in watching. I'm being genuine. Thank you. I've told everybody. Because I was like, I want to see what the fuck
Starting point is 00:30:20 is that about. It legitimized my career or at least what I did a little bit more than just like, oh, this guy's just a fucking idiot. my career or at least what i did a little bit more than just like oh this guy's just a fucking idiot yeah would you know what it did though for real for me also like not really knowing you was like uh it gave me another insight into like uh who you were as a person it did a good job of justifying you as like because dude somebody could look at like this is a good example of what the internet does dan bilzerian to like common instagram america consumer they either have two opinions they're either like fuck yeah greatest thing on earth right or this guy needs to burn in hell there really isn't any like middle ground with a guy like that well i'll
Starting point is 00:30:53 tell you why go ahead because he gives you the exact content that's on brand right and it's exactly like you know what you're getting ever you're like You're like, guns, tits, money. Period. Guns, tits, money. That's it. That's it. So it's like, that's his brand, and that works. But for me, I was like, I'm just going to be honest. What do I have to lose? But that's what was good about you.
Starting point is 00:31:16 Because it revealed a little bit more of you that I was like, I don't really know enough about this guy. When it has your mother in there, talking about this parental struggle that you have of like, know whether or not that was overtly produced but it's just like there's a moment of truth that i love as a comedian because there's things that we like to tell that's like it's nice to see the real shit like there's some real shit in there where you for a moment are like it's a little bit of a weird bummer when your parents are bummed out even though you're successful right that's a real fucking thing oh yeah you'll. You'll never see that with Bilzerian.
Starting point is 00:31:46 That's my point. It was nice to get that slice of you that I don't think we could get from the internet. So for what it's worth, the documentary did its job for me when I was viewing you. Thank you. Well, it was awesome. It was dope. Because I did something before that on Showtime, and it was a fucking dud. What was that?
Starting point is 00:32:01 What did you do? Oh, my God. I got sold on this thing. It was incredible. They were like, Kirill, we want you for the show. Dick Wolf's executive producer. I was like, are you fucking kidding me?
Starting point is 00:32:11 Dick Wolf. You're gonna be a fucking procedural show in no time. Showtime. You can do whatever you want. They want to show New York City at 3 in the morning. The show's called 3 AM. We're getting a crime scene investigator. We're getting a lady who works in a hospital. We're getting a hooker.
Starting point is 00:32:28 We're gonna get you. They're like, I'll get the hooker. And I was like, oh, they're like, we're gonna show how New York lives at 3AM. I was like, uncensored showtime. Let's do this, Dick Wolf. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:32:40 And then they fucking cut the thing together. It was like, the hooker's like crying about her boyfriend. I'm like, I thought I was gonna see you like get the fuck behind a dumpster yeah like show me real new york at three in the morning show me and they made like they they were like oh fight with your girlfriend about this it's like what and then it just became a part of it or no i think he just put his name on it yeah he wasn't there yeah yeah yeah uh so it was terrible
Starting point is 00:33:02 and they didn't market it. They didn't promote it. None of us. What was it called? All of us were embarrassed. It was 3 a.m. on show. It was called 3 a.m. Yeah. Everybody watch 3 a.m. on Showtime tonight. It's fucking bad.
Starting point is 00:33:12 Comment. Let us know what you think. That's funny, though, when they stamp names on things. I always think that's funny when they're like, you're like, Dick Wolf. You're like, fuck, maybe the involvement will be high, right? Like, I just did a show with Little Dicky that's coming out in March on FX. And, you know. Yeah, with Dave.
Starting point is 00:33:25 Oh, sick. And I'm not good at faking these fucking press things. I'm so trash at it. I've always been trash. I don't care enough. Do they give you a thing like, here's what you got to do? Don't say this. Don't say that.
Starting point is 00:33:37 They just let comedians out in the wild and hope that you're trained for this? Because they know that we'll never say it. I'll never do what... They know that we will go against the grain. Oh, the script. Yeah. If they're like, hey. We're always gonna break that.
Starting point is 00:33:47 Were you honest? Too honest. Really, what happened? Yeah, well, there's- Oh, you can't say it? I will, yeah. I don't give a fuck. The woman from Entertainment Tonight was like,
Starting point is 00:33:54 she's like, Kevin Hart's a producer on the show. How's Kevin? I was like, I never met that motherfucker. I never met him one day in my life. I go, he's in the green room. I still haven't met him. And the woman's face was like, that's not what we wanna hear. I was like, hey man, I'm not, but the thing is like still haven't met him and the woman's face was like that's not what
Starting point is 00:34:05 we want to hear I was like hey man but the thing is like oh yeah we run a mile with Kevin every morning before the shoot yeah yeah yeah we make a Nike commercial
Starting point is 00:34:13 on fucking no but it was just like there was no disrespect I like Kevin Hart I don't know him but like I'm certainly not going to sit there and fucking phony it up
Starting point is 00:34:20 for these people to pretend like he's my boy oh because they want you to and a lot of people I feel like would because they'd be like, oh, Kevin the best because it makes you look like
Starting point is 00:34:28 your fucking boys. I don't want to do that shit. So I did that. Of course, my agent was sitting there like, why the fuck are you doing that? I was like, I can't lie. If you ask me something about Dave, I know Dave well. We're good friends. I can't pretend to give credit where I don't know how to.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Do you know what I mean so that that's a huge like kev thanks for financing this yeah yeah no thanks for fucking playing around with them but like we're putting your name on it that's in the office right that's office shit i don't know any of that stuff i'm fucking down here but i think that happens a lot you know like dick wolf saying he's a part of that thing i bet you if dick will really put his fingers on it it probably would have been dope wolf like 9 000 years old loan order has years old? Law & Order has been on for 40 years. He's been dead for 26 years. I don't think he's alive.
Starting point is 00:35:07 He's like Walt Disney. He's communicating fucking through. Yeah, he's frozen. They still make Law & Order episodes, which is insane. Bro, he has Dick Wolf does Chicago Fire, Chicago PD, Chicago Med, and they got one more. Another Chicago show. And I always said if I was tanking out here and I just didn't want to be in LA anymore, I would move back to Chicago where I'm from. And just and just jump on one of the I want to be the guy
Starting point is 00:35:27 that when everybody runs by they're like where's and I go he's in the break room like that guy that's all I want to be and just make them keep going you know that's all I want is like one throwaway line every fucking week so good the computer tech guy that goes just yeah I'm working on it you know that fucking guy I'd be that guy any day of the week what would you what was you this is this is a legitimate thing for people in our bullshit-ass business. Because, you know, look, what you do is fun, what you do is dope, but the game is bullshit. So, like, if you have to crack out at some point, if you're like, I'm not doing this anymore. Right.
Starting point is 00:35:55 Where are you going? Well, the thing is, for me, there's a life, there is like an end, right? For comedy, I feel like you're just going to do this forever. Like, who's going to, the voices in your head aren't going to stop talking to you. You know, you're always going to do this forever. The voices in your head aren't going to stop talking to you. You're always going to be funny. With me, it was just like, it's just taxing on my body because I can't not drink. I don't do that shot that someone hands me.
Starting point is 00:36:16 I get called a fag, right? Because, Correale, look on the internet. You're just a party machine. You should start sucking dick while they hand you the shot. I'll be like, I'll suck it out of your dick. You do it, and I'll blow you. you want me to be a real fag dude kiss me bro kiss me then i'll take a shot blowing guys at my party fuck yeah at this point i should just change a whole new market like the club owners are like what then you start the gay
Starting point is 00:36:37 clubs then you make a ton of money there's so much clean house at a gay club have you done gay no no one's ever booked me for one. And I think they're they're heterophobic. You're too yeah, you're too straight? I'm too manly for them. You are too straight. If you were more effeminate.
Starting point is 00:36:52 Trust me, I'm not. I've kissed more guys than anyone in this world. Really? Yeah. You kiss guys at parties? No. But I have.
Starting point is 00:36:58 At home? No. I mean, you know, not at home. I've done it. You're skirting around it, man. I don't know. Maybe you have. I can admit itirting around it man I don't know Maybe you have
Starting point is 00:37:05 I can admit it I know I don't care No I've never done it in private No Yeah It's always been in public Yeah
Starting point is 00:37:13 But when a dude comes up to you at the club And he starts fucking around What do you have a limit with people? No no no Because I don't think anyone's Trying to sexually assault me Like that Well
Starting point is 00:37:20 I was just going to say Girls are worse than guys I was just going to say There's no way girls don't sexually assault Girls are the worst Grab your dick and shit Yeah And they're like
Starting point is 00:37:26 Ha ha ha And you're like How is You know I was waiting for pizza one night In West Hollywood And I had a cab drive me down there
Starting point is 00:37:35 Because it was the only place That was open I went and got a piece of pizza I'm standing out on the side This guy comes up to me He grabs my Like puts a finger in my ass Grabs my ass
Starting point is 00:37:42 And I turn around And I fucking like Wave my arm And it's three of these dudes. He's like, ooh, tough guy, tough guy. And I was like, am I going to get gang raped by three gay guys? Right, because what do you, you can't be like, I'm going to call the police. They're like, what? What are you?
Starting point is 00:37:55 That's like, the guy's like, what are you, a fag? Yeah, and the cop is like, I'm right here. Right, right. Arrest him, boys. Yeah. Handcuff him and put it in. I think, I think dudes, dudes are aggressive, but not as aggressive as chicks. Chicks are fucking aggressive in that world.
Starting point is 00:38:11 I get that there are certain things that girls can get away with that guys can't. But guys that get too overly aggressive about that concept is also weird. At my camp, we had this girl who was just joking around with some old dude and she's hot and he was like, yo, can you kick my hand? And she went up to kick it
Starting point is 00:38:32 and she slipped and he like, kind of like flipped her under and her tit popped out and she got up and slapped him and he freaked out and was like, I want the cops here.
Starting point is 00:38:40 This is assault. And we're like, bro, you're all drunk. You fucking moved her legs so she fell and she got up and slapped you for it like she was ready to keep drinking and have a good time it wasn't like uh you know it was just like a friendly fun slap he lost his mind and he's like i'm an ex-cop this is fucking bullshit if i laid hands on her like that i'd be in handcuffs but women can get away i was like dude relax and then it
Starting point is 00:39:07 was fucking hilarious one of my boys is like a cop too and he's like all right i'm gonna go talk to him like let me try to like calm the situation before the cops before we actually have to call cops yeah and uh this and his this this dude this nut nut job he he brought his friend there and his friend was like i'm really sorry i'm really sorry, I'm really sorry. He's just, you know, he was a 9-11. He's a little aggressive, da-da-da. He's just that. And my buddy, the cop, like,
Starting point is 00:39:32 talks to him, comes back. He's like, there's no getting through to this guy. He's like, I was literally about to tell him, like, all the good cops died at 9-11. Like, he was just like, you need to relax about this whole, like, 9-11 shit right now. Like, you can't keep... He kept saying it over and over. Yeah, he was like, I saw shit. 9-11. He was just like, you need to relax about this whole 9-11 shit right now.
Starting point is 00:39:45 He kept saying it over and over. Yeah, he was like, I saw shit. 9-11. Yeah. You're like, sir, 9-11. Sir, what does that have to do with the fact that you let a girl fall
Starting point is 00:39:53 and then she slapped you? Yeah, you slipped her fucking feet out. No, look, girls can be wild and shit when they get drunk and do dumb shit too, just as much as guys do, but guys like that
Starting point is 00:40:01 have to take the- That guy's definitely not- Stable? That's like a ticking time bomb. Yeah. You look at that, you guys like that have to take that. That guy's definitely not stable. That's like a ticking time bomb. Yeah. You look at that, you're like, I'm glad we avoided whatever's going to happen here, but that guy's going to unload on someone else. Well, yeah. And this is wild, too, because this is for people's reference, too.
Starting point is 00:40:18 You throw a camp. How many years have you done the camp? I got a fourth year coming up. Is it going to be your fourth? It's the, yeah, it's year four up he's gonna be your fourth it's the it's the yeah it's year four it's a camp in connecticut and i went there uh like i was off one weekend they were like hey come up here check this out you know like uh and it was awesome it was an adult camp everything you want to do as a kid with alcohol right and i i documented the whole thing because it was fun as
Starting point is 00:40:41 fuck and the owner was like hey girl we got so much love from social media because no one's really seen this. You know, especially, you know, they never had, like, somebody with a following come through and actually, like. So you took over a camp that existed. So they run this camp every weekend from May to, like, October. Holy shit. During the week, it's a kid's camp. And on the weekends, the adults come in and fuck in the same cabins that the kids live in.
Starting point is 00:41:04 Tight. Awesome. And they were like, would you like to take over a weekend? And we did it. And it's awesome. It's so much fun. You know who does one too? What's his dude? Who's that actor who's really creepy with a pencil mustache? You know
Starting point is 00:41:18 who I'm talking about. How many though? Jake Gyllenhaal, Adam Driver. No, no, no. Like old. Old? Like the little pencil mustache. Oh, oh, oh, fucking. I can't think of his name. Yeah, I see him, dude. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:41:31 I'm closing my eyes right now and I see him. Hold on. His name is, and he's like, he's very, he's just flamboyant. Yeah, he's flamboyant, old gay dude. His name is, God, this is going to kill me. Do you know who this is? Do you know who it is? You got to look it up on your phone right now.
Starting point is 00:41:44 It's, I don't even remember the movies he is? Do you know who it is? You gotta look it up on your phone right now. It's, I don't even remember the movies he's done. I know what he is. Slick Back Hair. P, P, with a P? No. Slick Back Hair, right?
Starting point is 00:41:53 That's what you're talking about? Little Pets on Mustaches? I might have a text message. John Waters. John Waters, yes. Man, my mind is fucking good some days. He does a weekend there. He does a weekend there.
Starting point is 00:42:03 Like, they let like Some gossip girl Fan club take over It's awesome Wow So What's the name of the spot Club Getaway In Connecticut
Starting point is 00:42:11 But then you I just call it Kirill's Wet Hot American Summer And if you're off I highly recommend It's like It's a lot of fun It's a dope cabin
Starting point is 00:42:19 Activities All day All night Open bar I get all the liquor sponsors To like donate booze The tickets are fucking dirt cheap, too. What does it cost to go there?
Starting point is 00:42:27 Without sounding like a plug, but it's around $500, and it's every meal and a bed for two nights. With food and drinks? Everything. That's ridiculous. Yeah, you can't get a hotel room in Manhattan for that. Fuck no. And food and drinks? And the food is incredible.
Starting point is 00:42:42 And what are the activities, by the way? There's about 100. You can go archery, zipline. Food and drinks? Food. And the food is incredible. And what are the activities, by the way? I have about, there's about 100. You can go archery, zipline, just- Anything in the water? Yeah. Boats and ships? Water skiing, all the shit. They have the fucking giant inflatable stuff.
Starting point is 00:42:56 It's awesome. It really is a lot of fun. What is that thing called when you jump at the blob? Do you have one of those? Yeah, they have the blob. Those things are hilarious. The blob. They got everything.
Starting point is 00:43:02 Those things are so fun, dude. I've done those once. I was like, this is exactly what, this is, there's a little piece of us that like dies when we get older that you, that you like, it just, the child thing goes away. And when you do things like that, you're like, fuck, I miss, I miss so much being a kid. Well, someone said it on Reddit. They're like, someone said that they're like, they were talking to their 90 year old grandmother and she said, I still, I might look 90.
Starting point is 00:43:24 She's like, but I feel 18. Dude, my grandmother says that. She's like, I act, she's said, I might look 90, but I feel 18. Dude, my grandmother says that. She's like, I feel like I'm still 18 in my head, and I will always feel like, she's like, my 90-year-old friends, I still look at them
Starting point is 00:43:35 and think of them in that same 18-year-old demo, even though I can see that they're 90 like me. We're just friends enough that we interact like we're 18 still. Yeah.
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Starting point is 00:45:27 You got it. Yeah. I think I had a stroke just now. Yeah, I just feel old. You feel weathered. You know why? Because my job also involves hanging around 19 to 22-year-olds. Yeah, I was just going to say.
Starting point is 00:45:39 Right? The older I get, it's just turning into a daycare center sometimes. Do they throw that at you ever? What? They're like, how old are you? You're like, 35. And they're like, ew. No, they're like, oh my god.
Starting point is 00:45:50 The girls love that shit? Yeah. You're like a dad. Look, if I didn't have a following or a brand or anything, and I was just hanging out at the club, yeah, I'd probably be like, ew, get out of here, creep. But they don't care about age. Dude, there was fucking 30-year-old girls blowing Hugh Hefner. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:46:07 But you and Hugh Hefner are two different things. Yeah, I mean be clear just to be clear yeah yeah you're a dope dude but that's a different thing don't forget hugh hefner was getting blown by tens i'm being approached by twos but in winnipeg and 10 year olds by the way right i'm the hugh hefner of winnipeg you are the hugh hefner fucking does a lot of middle canada that's i really haven't why a lot of canada shit they just love you canada fucks with you 19 a party that's Why a lot of Canada shit? They just love you. Canada fucks with you. 19 to party. That's right. I forget about that shit.
Starting point is 00:46:29 You can drink up there. Yeah, so those kids are like clamoring. Dude, do you know Simon Rex? Yeah. Not like that, but yeah. He can't go to Canada. Criminal record. Whatever.
Starting point is 00:46:40 Literally, if you don't have a spotless record, Canada hates you. I know. And he's like, I lose out on so much money Because Canada is such a They love They're
Starting point is 00:46:49 Does he do parties too? I think it's just When he performed But he lost that whole market Right It sucks Canada's awesome I'm petrified of being
Starting point is 00:46:58 Like arrested Not I think me getting arrested Would be great for my brand Yeah But it would be horrible For my brand yeah but it would be horrible for my bank account because I would lose Canada
Starting point is 00:47:07 it depends this is crazy I've talked about this on the podcast before I used to do that for a living when I first moved to LA I used to get bans into Canada
Starting point is 00:47:13 that had criminal records whoa literally what I did yeah it was crazy very specific so I can I know what to do I know how to do it
Starting point is 00:47:20 I know people can get in it just costs money that's the bottom line it costs a lot of money for each time or forever they can expand your right each time you're basically fucking brat you're basically bribing the canadian government it's it's actually a brilliant system and the only reason that happens by the way is because we did that to them so it's a reciprocation thing right like that's that's what criminal entry is for almost every country is depending
Starting point is 00:47:41 on your country's laws the opposition laws usually are stronger based on what you create because it's kind of like a big dick competition right right so canada says fuck you to america because america said fuck you to canada for quite a long time so who says fuck you to canada we do we always have yeah have we really i don't know anything okay look at it like this look at it like this this is is wild. The immigration in America right now is like the biggest issue in fucking everyone's mouth. It is very, very difficult for anybody to get a visa for America, but for some reason in Canada
Starting point is 00:48:15 to get a work visa to get here is unbelievably difficult for somebody that is in the same content. Do they feel like we're just so close it's like go play in your own sandbox? It's because of the difference in... Who do we hate more, Mexicans or Canadians? Me or the country?
Starting point is 00:48:31 The country. The country hates Mexicans more. I hate Mexicans more. No, I think the country... I think it's how I call them, snow Mexicans. Snow Mexicans, yeah. The country's harder on them. called them snow Mexicans So we're surrounded by different varieties of Mexicans Right
Starting point is 00:48:47 The country's harder on Because Mexican immigration is a whole thing Dude, it's funny, you can make fun of all that shit But we run a merch company And I'll tell you what, we were just talking about it You can make fun of Mexicans and talk as much shit as you want But goddammit, we've had white employees And they are the worst
Starting point is 00:49:03 They're so entitled and so lazy yeah that like i'm sorry like we have mexican guys that literally i would probably maybe not but take a bullet for probably not not really not really no no you'd metaphorically metaphorically i'm like that dude's like that's my guy but if you need to take him away take him away and they're like oh mexicans are taking other jobs it's because they're actually working yeah and also that's not that's also another fucking myth they're not taking all the way all the jobs they're all they're working the job that they always work that's always like one of those misnomers that gets pushed around it's just like a it's a catchphrase but the real truth is like dude i have a i have a pretty solid mexican fan
Starting point is 00:49:38 base and you know what my favorite thing about these motherfuckers is you can make fun of mexicans like in loving and they love it right you start talking shit about whites and they get real nervous and mad at you and you've stepped on their toes you've called them the wrong thing right the one thing i love about my mexican fucking fans like i did a couple shows in pasadena it's all mexicans dude they just want a good time they love having fun they just want to fucking talk shit have a laugh have a good time that's the that's what i find more than anything. This is something interesting about a parallel. My shows, if they're racially mixed, I know I'm going to have way more fun.
Starting point is 00:50:13 Because when it's all white, for some fucking reason, I sell some weird joke off that I know culturally they don't like. It's not even about them. That's the worst part. They defend something that isn't them. It's not even about them. That's the worst part. They defend something that isn't them. Have you ever had... Okay. Yeah. They take offense on behalf of someone else.
Starting point is 00:50:33 Yeah, they have no business taking offense for it. Everybody's a proud victim. That's why. I know, but today it's the worst it ever was. It's the weirdest it's ever been. I tell a joke about having a black pilot. I had my first black airline pilot. I fly every weekend.
Starting point is 00:50:44 I've only had whites. And I tell a joke about having my first black pilot I had my first black airline pilot. I fly every weekend. Right. I've only had whites. Okay. Yeah. And I tell a joke about having my first black pilot. And I'm not going to finish the joke, but as soon as I go through it, people, white people, half of the white people love it and half of the white people are like, I don't know if I'm supposed to. It's this weird like, of course you're supposed to.
Starting point is 00:51:00 Yeah. What do you mean? Let it the fuck go. You're not standing there at a fucking amtrak station saying this because then you're like all right this might be a rally right but like this is a comedy club like and i do that on sundays everybody knows where we are on sunday mornings station noon to two amtrak station um i did say this this was so fucked up this weekend though this was so mean but i did love it just because i was in denver and i just knew that like you know
Starting point is 00:51:23 denver is extremely liberal and i was like i don't know if you guys know what's going on this you know in australia it's on fire and people were like oh yeah and i was like well i think um i think because that i want to donate the proceeds tonight and everyone started to be like whoa and i was like to trump's 2020 campaign people i mean the faces were like no i. I was like, you already clapped. It's over. You already did it. I just like fucking, I love doing that to people to get their goat because I'm like, let it go. This is like, relax.
Starting point is 00:51:53 You're not as important as you think you are. None of this shit is real. We're fucking around. Like, that's kind of the world you live in too is like, you can't take much serious because it's just for fun. All that shit's for fun. Right. can't take much serious because it's just for fun all that shit's for fun right it's weird because i've kind of have my own little pocket on the internet where i'm like south park where at this point most people are like it's corral like they know they're like what are you it was easier on
Starting point is 00:52:17 slut whisperer because somebody would fight with me and someone be like dude you're following an account called slut whisperer like what did you think you were gonna discuss yeah like have an honest reasonable conversation about something? Of course it's going to be offensive and stupid. But you still get clapped at. Yeah, but getting clapped at is part of the process. Dude, being oppressed is part of the whole... Dude, without outrage culture,
Starting point is 00:52:40 there'd be very little to talk about too, right? Right. Well, do you think you gain more followers when you start wars like that? You'll'll take a clip that some some dummy says to you and you're like come on motherfucker yeah because they want to see that you're quick that you're clever right you're not just a dude who's just like look a lot of the internet is faceless right uh almost all of it everyone's kind of faceless so when you could be dude they just it's like i interact on my page all day because it's
Starting point is 00:53:07 funny to me so you you open the dms dude i read everything it's silly it i treat it like a hangout it's like we just bust balls and that's just what it is and unfortunately though because now half the shit gets reported for bullying like i'll you get reported for that dude i'll write something like shut up fatso as a comment back to my girlfriend they'll be like this is harassment and bullying i'm like that's my fucking girl she she's sitting right next to me i just saw i just saw your girlfriend posted um a picture of her butt i did i posted and she got it got taken down got taken down and then this other girl chimed in before got got taken down that she was like, oh my
Starting point is 00:53:47 God, I have it. It's so stupid. Like these people exist. That's the scary part. Like some, some girl was mad because you posted a picture of your girlfriend's butt. And the worst part is these people. That your girlfriend told you to post. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:57 And these people are like, these people are motivated. The problem with people like us is I'm lazy. Right. So my opinions stay in my head or sometimes they'll come out to the real world. But these people who are offended or freak out, they're the ones who go and vote. They're the ones who make all the decisions. So this chick writes to me,
Starting point is 00:54:15 if you care about this woman, you wouldn't have posted this. Hopefully she escapes from you. Hopefully she escapes from you. Nice, dude. Dope. Let her go, bro bro you do have her chained up you are a bad bad man
Starting point is 00:54:28 and her bio is Christian living in biblical times Anthony's mom god bless oh is that Anthony's mom I know who that is Anthony's mom I love when people do that on fucking Instagram when they go like that's how little
Starting point is 00:54:44 you have to offer to the world. Son of Kevin, wife of David. Loving father of 12. And it's just like, bro, this is how pathetic your existence is that you're defined by things that you're not in control of. Right. Like you're like, oh, I'm an Italian American, you know, mother of seven. And you're like, I've learned nothing about you except you're annoying already yeah that's like the stickers on the back of a fucking right like my
Starting point is 00:55:09 family yeah yeah my dog my dog my husband my four kids it's so it's so funny because people well what that really says to me is especially as a comedian when i see that a lot like because i get those people the first people like do you chirp with people or you got you're kind of like i used to dude but i at some point now like those people used to chirp at me like the bitch who has the stickers on her back window right her only identity is her family i i can't bother with that bitch because my fans are so strong they're like people that that enjoy what we do is so much better to me that i'm like oh fuck you bitch like i just don't i can't i can't deal with the like for real though on your come up as a comedian the negativity
Starting point is 00:55:44 is all you fuck with. True. So you've gotten it. Yeah. This is me. You just get over it at some point. You're like, fuck this. I don't want to, I can't.
Starting point is 00:55:51 Like now, dude, like this was bananas. I think I've talked about it before, but Calvin Klein put up a fucking billboard in Manhattan and they said, all of our new Midtown Manhattan billboards are going to feature plus size models. There was a woman, bro I'm not exaggerating there was a woman so large in fucking underwear that she was the whole billboard. The whole photo was her.
Starting point is 00:56:17 So I tweeted, I retweeted the tweet and all I said was that's one more way to sell more fabric. That's one way to sell more fabric. Right? Just fucking fabric. That's one way to sell more fabric, right? Just fucking around. That's one way to sell more fabric. There you go. It's a joke.
Starting point is 00:56:29 Plus size models. This, I didn't even tag her. The girl was hunting her own, she was like hunting her own shit. Like she was going through the regular news article to find what people, she came at me so hard, and she was like oh of course a white male said this i but i joke about you and you shoot up a school and i was like um i was like yeah but i'd have to get more ammo because you know you're heavier like all this shit so we kept going back and forth and back and forth until then it was the racist mob got at me and was like
Starting point is 00:57:03 you're racist and i I was like, whoa. I said this bitch was fat. Never once did I say anything about a race. It had nothing to do with it. You, by the way, just sitting here, you didn't know that she wasn't white, right? Like, I just said she was a big girl on a billboard. But automatically, they said I'm a racist. So that's when I go, bye, and I clock out, and I block and whatever.
Starting point is 00:57:22 Oh, you're lucky. I got deleted off Twitter For that same shit Oh for real Yeah But I was just gonna say I won't stand there And have you call me a racist Like if you can say like
Starting point is 00:57:30 I'm making fun of this woman's weight And that's like immature And rude Okay But like when these groups Come after you And they're like You're a bigot
Starting point is 00:57:37 I'm like bro a bigot What the fuck When people are saying Like don't you dare You can't talk about it Don't make fun of a woman's weight Cool Ask that same girl If her boyfriend cheats on her with a fat girl.
Starting point is 00:57:46 The first comment should be like, yo, that fat bitch. That bitch is fat. Yeah. Don't fucking. It's all perspective. Yeah, of course. I got kicked off for making a fat joke too. What'd you say?
Starting point is 00:57:54 I picked a fight with the wrong person though. Someone with a little bit more power than me. This fucking fat girl posted something about hey it was about airline seats and how people, no just people she's been like I don't like the looks I get from like if I'm too fat and I was like look I don't care how fat you are
Starting point is 00:58:15 it's your life until your fatness inconveniences me if you're spilling over into my seat we have a problem we can't smoke on airplanes anymore it's affecting me I didn't realize this she was like some big fat YouTuber I don't know who she was I don't remember
Starting point is 00:58:31 I can find a screenshot but she said don't worry honey I fly private and I was like alright I can't I was like okay so then I hit her back with I know I saw the movie and I tweeted Operation Dumbo Drops cover.
Starting point is 00:58:49 And they just yanked me with it. Like, dude, the huge YouTuber. And you know how loyal YouTube fans are. Oh my God, bro. Just flooded me. I panicked because I was like, yo, if they find the Instagram too and they'll fucking report that. They clipped me on Twitter within like three hours.
Starting point is 00:59:04 And then I got kicked off again a year later. You're done, huh? Are you done with it? Yeah, I'm done. I miss Twitter because it was a fun way to be creative within constraints. It was like a fun project, right? How do I say something funny or witty within this? It was cool.
Starting point is 00:59:20 But once they told me you're banned for life, Twitter's the only app that bans you for life. Yeah, no, I know that. That's wild, isn't it? app that bans you for life. Yeah, no, I know that. That's wild, isn't it? They don't give you any chance. No, I had a second account. They verified it a year later. Like, oh, that's Kirill?
Starting point is 00:59:30 Get him out of here again. That's so wild. Twitter is... Oh, by the way, when I got kicked off of Slut Whisperer, I had to start a new account. Kirill was here. A week after that, they verified Kirill was here. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:41 I was like, what? Why? Like, what is this? What's point that's well like why did you just take away a whole audience and then because because they want to control they want control right like they like twitter is accessible i don't really like twitter as much anymore i'm not even i'm not half as active as i should be for fan engagement is one thing that they're like oh but you still have fans that want to like twitter i feel like it's like you're chasing the viral high yeah twitter is just chasing the retweets.
Starting point is 01:00:05 It is. Because otherwise you just might as well text it to your friends. Because like if you're not getting more than three retweets, you were like. What am I talking to? Right. I know that that is the issue with it. And also like those kind of things. Like I make that slight joke.
Starting point is 01:00:17 And really, if you want to be if you really want to get to the depths of it. When I'm what I'm saying is when I said about that girl, when I was like, that's one way to sell more fabric. get to the depths of it when i'm what i'm saying is when i said about that girl when i was like that's one way to sell more fabric i'm really taking a shot at calvin klein to be like jumping on a social issue to pretend like they're the you know what i mean they're making a martyr out of fat people it's bullshit so what i'm really doing if you had any brains the people that read it were like that's a clever way of being like calvin klein is bullshit this is a way to be like we we like big people too it's like and by the way this girl was obese she wasn't overweight she was obese and so i was like this is just a shot this is just a bullshit way of being like we're we're trying to solve the problem that is beautiful is like saying salmonella is beautiful
Starting point is 01:00:53 like if i just went to like if i went if there's a commercial for like the new steakhouse and they're like hey look at this we've got maggots in our meat like sorry like that's the way like you'd be like gross like that's gross like we know we can visually identify what's gross what's not i'm fat i look in the mirror it's gross like i don't like you don't need to lie to yourself right it's like the carlin way like just change the name and condition doesn't change the fucking condition right right like that's so true well but that's the thing it's like now we've made i don't know if you saw this beautiful yeah until you're a fat white guy and then they're like shut up fatso there's no when you're fat like i know this is like the fucking thing like oh like you know like fat
Starting point is 01:01:28 white guy should be able to take it we've they ran the world forever like this we're like literally fat white people are the only people that could be made fun of and i'm okay with it yeah but you should be able to take the shots back and i've always said that like when people like i want equality and then you make fun of them and i'm like but that's what comes with equality is like you get some of the benefits, but you also get to be made fun of for being another fucking participant on this globe. 100%. Dude, the guy who plays the piano at the comedy store, Jeff, is one of the coolest motherfuckers on earth, and he's gay, and he's talked openly about the fact that he's like, I can't believe
Starting point is 01:02:00 that people have this thing when they make fun of gay people online. And he goes, we fought for equality for fucking 35 years. The fact that I want to be equal means I think I'm open to be made fun of just as much as anybody else.
Starting point is 01:02:11 Jeff, however, lives in the world of comedy so he's much more keen. But that being said, Well, he also can understand the difference between a joke and just someone
Starting point is 01:02:20 just like a blanket statement. A violent attack. Right, yeah. But that's my point is if we would all be so lucky if everyone had some fucking awareness about it. Like Jeff is the first person to make a joke. Do you know what I mean? So I'm like, God, if we all had this kind of cultural awareness, you're around enough people to get it that it's like part of the community of making fun of each other is part of the community.
Starting point is 01:02:40 That's why people fucking respect and like each other. That's what we do. We bust balls. Yeah, that's what you do. And if they're devoid of that, right, when you don't have that in your world, then it becomes like, oh, that's bad. Then you become a religious extremist. Right. You become one of these people that gets overtly pissed about nothing at all.
Starting point is 01:02:57 But what you said is so fucking true. It's funny. If you want to give the shots, you should be able to take them, regardless of your position. That's half of the shit. Dude, that's like when people write unfollow on like my page well they're right like you follow they're like i'm unfollowing too far like you stayed through all the bullshit right until i probably hit some nerve and then it's like oh that went from being comedy to now fat now he's making statements all of a sudden. It's like, what? Right.
Starting point is 01:03:25 They decide when it's over for them. Right? Up until then, they're okay. And then they need to announce their departure like there's some fucking... I'm leaving. I'm Kevin. Ugh, goodbye. Like, bro, I didn't even know you were here.
Starting point is 01:03:37 Bitch, bitch, you're one of many people that I don't fucking care about. Oh, my God. I walk my fucking followers daily. I know that's like an inside comedy joke. Yeah, it is. How many, by the way, you gain? Do you ever look at the gain and the loss on the analytics page? I don't have analytics because when you're private, they don't give you shit, which is so retarded.
Starting point is 01:03:57 Oh, that's wild. They don't tell you anything. They want you to be public. That's why. I have no analytics. I can just tell you how many followers I'm gaining. What's the advantage of being private then? Is the idea that these people are missing out on something that they might want to see.
Starting point is 01:04:13 So like a little pro tip, as I told you before earlier, if you want to gain a faster following and you do have content that might be more intriguing to people to see whether it's like party videos or dumb jokes or whatever at least for me keeping it closed off gets more people trying to get in as opposed to leaving it open and then they're like aha that was cool and then they bounce out and they might not even follow you that's what i mean it's a great perspective it's interesting when you said that before i was like i wonder if that's how that is for someone like me it's different right for us for comics it's like i mean i still have parties to sell too yeah but but your content is also unique from what you do live right your partying is different than what you put online
Starting point is 01:04:55 it's not all you put online right it's not all because i don't really like when i'm home i'm not thinking about the parties right so it's not i'm not really posting about that like the story on my instagram stories if i'm at a party that's where it all goes right and then my page is just kind of like what mood i'm in whether it's just all sorts of dumb shit i find on the internet do you have someone help you with it no it's all you yeah do you do you do uh do you fucking do you think less of those that do have people that help them? No. Because a lot of people that do. Yeah, there's teams of people. There's teams that just, you know.
Starting point is 01:05:30 But that's not me. Yeah. I was like, I should just run a strict meme page and just fucking get 10 million followers like all these other guys. It might be exciting for three hours, and then I forget about it in two days. And it just sits there stagnant. So it's just like, let me do me me this is my journal this is my online diary
Starting point is 01:05:47 whatever whatever is there it's like hey and we're honest dude we've made merch that sucks like flops and i'll go on there be like guys i ordered 2 000 wine glass sets that i literally don't know what to do with that what do you do when they can't when they can't push them oh i just tell them honestly i'll be like i'll throw them with every order and they're like oh wow thank you. Like, it's just, as long as I've always found, as long as you're honest with them, like, they're going to stick around.
Starting point is 01:06:10 Yeah. I feel like it's really hard to lose a following without being, like, unless you're kicked off. I feel like it's kind of, we're in a different generation where we can retain fans. Right. They can't forget you. There's more leeway. That's why I think, think like being some sort of
Starting point is 01:06:25 i think the term fame has been just so like as opposed to like back in the day like fame was like like to be a household name like 20 30 40 years ago like took you really were famous yeah i would argue though i mean like there's some rich guy there's been a billion damn bulzarians right yeah but nobody knew the fuck they were in 1990 right there wasn't right there wasn't anyone like because that wasn't real fame but fame real fame has just been convoluted so what i would say is like there was like when people come up like really you're instagram famous i'm like like, bleh. That phrase is just gross. You're recognizable is what I would say.
Starting point is 01:07:08 Yeah. The difference is like 40 years ago. You want to know what fame is? If you were famous in Hollywood, it's because you were recognized by everybody. But now anybody can be recognized by somebody. You can get famous for having a long neck. That guy.
Starting point is 01:07:24 I've seen that fucking guy. He lost the genetic lottery, but then won the real lottery. recognized by somebody that's you can get famous for having a long neck yeah like that guy out of here that fucking guy like the genetic like he lost the genetic lottery and but then won the real lottery like is he making money on that can he monetize i mean i think that the window of internet relevance in that kind of scene i feel like it's so like you gotta hit it like take every club gig like take everything you can get do fucking commercials for turtlenecks i don't know like you're literally like i would be doing everything yeah but good for that motherfucker that's what i was saying when people i used to hate on that when i was i don't hate on that i don't care there's enough money to go around for everyone yeah i'm just saying the word fame is like when someone's like
Starting point is 01:07:56 your instagram famous i'm like oh i don't want to really be lumped in with a guy with a long neck yeah but that's like saying to me somebody says you know who, you know, my friend is a comedian. You're a comedian. You know what that does to me? When some fucking, when some jagoff is like, my buddy tells jokes sometimes. It's like,
Starting point is 01:08:11 you want to think about diminutive, just keep this in mind. When people say that to you, keep this in front of your mind. I will have somebody come up to me who comes to a show, who paid to fucking see me, who typically came with someone
Starting point is 01:08:23 who actually is a fan, and they'll go you know i never heard of you and i'm not a big comedy fan but this this was all right it it it's i'd rather you've not talked to me a hundred percent but i have that all the time because you're like people don't associate what you do with skill or talent or ability they think you just rolled out of bed a hundred percent didn't plan easy to do what you do is easy to do i could i know what my buddy tells the only person that actually successfully did that is patrice right what that's how he started his career he heckled someone right guy goes you get up you get up here and try better patrice went up and did 10 minutes and killed patrice was made to be a
Starting point is 01:09:00 comedic fucking he would he just was too shy to start doing it that was the problem like patrice just didn't have the gumption. But I'm glad that happened. Fuck yeah. And I'm sad he's dead. So many other comics should have died before him. Way more comics.
Starting point is 01:09:12 So many guys are like, that guy could be dead. No one would fucking miss him. This is the one thing I want to touch on. But Patrice was also not, he's one of those comics that became more appreciated
Starting point is 01:09:21 in his death. Posthumously. Yeah, because he was really overlooked. Well, I would say he was ahead of his time. Possibly. Yeah, because he was really overlooked. Well, I would say he was ahead of his time. Yeah. I think guys like... He was also difficult to work with.
Starting point is 01:09:30 So most people, most talented people are. Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to lie. Like, you know, I've been more difficult to work with as time has gone on because you become more specific about your skills. Well, you also realize your self-worth. Yeah, that's what I mean. Same thing. Like, it's no longer I'm lucky to be here it's uh you're lucky to have
Starting point is 01:09:48 me sometimes i'm appreciative and i'm respectful but there's also moments of like well i don't want to get stepped on anymore i'm tired of that shit like you get sick of kind of being put in a place of oh yeah you don't you're lucky to be here and you're like no fuck you i could go do other shit i'm planning a burning all bridges tour like i'm like when i'm done i'm like here you go i actually said i was like you know it'd be great as if i just closed if i just started every party was like i'm just gonna do stand-up for 10 minutes i'm just gonna ruin the entire night for everyone just fuck it up that's it do snow do improv that'll really just like oh yeah got a couple of people i'll get a few shot nothing worse than drunk improv right well you think it's hilarious
Starting point is 01:10:21 and everyone's just standing there like what long form yeah um when you this is the one thing i want to i want to touch on because i'm very curious and you can pass you can pass on the buck if you don't want to talk about it but you have a girlfriend you put her on the internet you guys are you guys are public about it yeah right like me i'm pretty private with my personal life i to the fans they know my wife is the old bag i call her the old bag that's kind of the only thing they know about her you know is like she's this mysterious creature and that's put that way on purpose some people decide to put them put their family in or out relationships or husbands wives kids whatever you live in the business of partying and women and all that shit right her comfort level what is it it's pretty high she's older than me she's a year older than me she's kind of seen it all i don't
Starting point is 01:11:04 know maybe i'm just making excuses is she's pretty literally in our's older than me. She's a year older than me. She's kind of seen it all. I don't know. Maybe I'm just making excuses. She's pretty, literally in her three years, she's might have had like three things to be like, hey, like, can you not spit in a girl's mouth? That's like one thing I don't want. Oh, see, my old bag would love that. She should be like, yeah, spit on those bitches. Oh, no. She's like, she's like, that's too personal.
Starting point is 01:11:19 That's like what I like. Like, you know what I mean? She's like, don't. That's what you do to me. Yeah. She's like, that's for me. Yeah, I get that. I get that she's like, don't. That's what you do to me. Yeah. She's like, that's for me. Yeah, I get that. I get that.
Starting point is 01:11:25 But yeah, no real issue. I mean. Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty. I try to be respectful. I mean, it's, you know, especially in this day and age, I can't, you know, the Me Too movement. I try not to even fucking I hand the bottles off to as many people as I can. I was just going to say, how much I have so many girlfriends at every party that I know
Starting point is 01:11:43 because I've been doing this for 10 years at every city. Girls will come around and be like, can I spray champagne on her? I'm like, be my guest. Yeah, do it. The less work I get to do. I'll take photos with fans. You go fuck it. They want to see that anyways.
Starting point is 01:11:54 Two girls having fun with champagne. So my fat ass doing it. So has she ever been to a party with you? Yeah, she's come out. Did you meet her at a party? Dude, I booked her 90s man for camp without realizing, and then we just started talking,
Starting point is 01:12:08 and then that's it. For the first camp that you did? For my first camp ever, yeah. Oh, wow. And then you stalked? Yeah, and then she slid in my DMs. She's like, you're all right. She's like, hey, okay.
Starting point is 01:12:17 I don't know. I don't know. Maybe she was drunk. Take this goofy Russian Jew from Jersey. I grow on people. Is she a Jersey kid, too? She's Long Island. Oh, boy. Two different worlds. Like Marissa Tomei, Long Island. Is she a Jersey kid too? She's Long Island. Like,
Starting point is 01:12:26 thick Long Island. Two different worlds. Like Marissa Tomei, Long Island. This is a TV show. She's from Long Island. Yeah. He's a Russian Jew from Jersey.
Starting point is 01:12:33 Oh my God. And they met. Yeah, but like you said, like you keep your shit very, I've like, I've learned that, A,
Starting point is 01:12:47 it's good for business to say I have a girlfriend. Sure. Because it A, makes me less creepy. I was just going to say, that's got to help girls' comfortability levels. Comfortable levels. Knowing that it's not this weirdo. And more girls will come up to me and be like, is S.A. coming tonight? Because they became fans of her. Because like, oh, this is like a strong chick that puts up with this shit.
Starting point is 01:13:08 And we just have fun. Like, she's really good for what I'm doing. Yeah, it's dope. But you do know, you're aware of the fact that so many other women would be like, I'm not fucking with that. That's insane. I don't want to do that. So it's like, that's what's wonderful that she's cool with it.
Starting point is 01:13:24 They're all cool until they're not. so who knows i'm just telling you like they're all i don't you know about right now right now i live in the moment like hey six years ago my ex was really cool too right until five and a half years and then she was like i'm enough of this shit yeah yeah the the breaking point for most of these women was what you do? Three years is usually my life. But it's three years because of what you do, I'm saying? Is that the breaking point or is it because of something else? Well, yeah, I was also a piece of shit. Sure.
Starting point is 01:13:50 Sure. It's hard, you know? Life is hard. Yeah. Life is hard. You're being a good boy. It gets lonely on the road. No.
Starting point is 01:13:57 Yeah. I'm good now. Yeah, you're being good now. I have to be an adult now. You got to grow up, you feel like? Yeah. You got to be a guy who gets married and does all that bullshit? I can't relate to a 21-year-old anymore. No.
Starting point is 01:14:06 Could you ever? Did you when you were 21? Dude, I just found out what a finsta was. A what? A finsta. Here we are. Do you know? No. I've heard people talk. Girls are like, oh my god, you have a finsta? I'm like, is that like a cool... A fake Instagram. Yes. It's where you, let's just say, you just have an anonymous account. A lot of celebs will
Starting point is 01:14:21 do it, right? Yeah, yeah. Where there's people will like with old Slow Whisper account, I'd have huge athletes come up and be like, I love your shit. I'm like, don't follow me. They're like,
Starting point is 01:14:31 I do. They know. There's like 40 accounts. Yeah, the fake Instagram. I have a good friend of mine who has like 20 million on her public phony Instagram, on her corporate.
Starting point is 01:14:43 Right. And her real one is like 60 people or something like that. Yeah, and she just blows my fucking dirt bag. Instagram, on her corporate. And her real one is like 60 people or something like that. And she's just being a fucking dirtbag. Yeah, it's awesome. It's actually wonderful. Just sending you racist memes.
Starting point is 01:14:51 Yep, yep, yep. It is so funny to see what goes on there versus what goes on the other one. You're always like... And then public image. And sometimes they post things at the same day, at the same time. And you're like,
Starting point is 01:14:58 that was for my makeup line. This is for my... This is for my clan meeting. Got my hood washed. know oh my god uh it is fun to see that kind of shit well that's good though you got a good one man you hold on to her until fucking she uh gets ready that's crazy yeah until she loses it on you and finds out that she wants something else but whatever man fuck it fuck it it's hard is it hard having a wife in comedy no dude honestly it's the opposite I think
Starting point is 01:15:25 it keeps do you think it's easier than it used to be this whole world makes comedy more accessible without having a I mean obviously the road life
Starting point is 01:15:34 and you still gotta do stand up but like podcasting really opened up an avenue for comedians A to make a shit ton of money and speak to an audience without having to go
Starting point is 01:15:42 to their town this is great because I'm not filtered I can do what I want. I can talk to people who I fucking like, who I'm interested in. There isn't a... This is not a job that I'm bummed about doing. For a long time, we have to do gigs that we're bummed about doing.
Starting point is 01:15:58 A lot of comedy is like, I don't want to go to that city. I don't want to play that fucking club. This is something you want to do? I want to do this. You don't have to be miserable to be a comedian like want to play that fucking club I don't want to This is something you want to do This is the gig I want to do You don't have to be miserable To be a comedian Like they said you have to be Nah it's bullshit
Starting point is 01:16:08 You can be damaged But now you don't have to be miserable We're all fucked up We're all fucked up I realized you didn't have to do it When I heard that back in the day Jim Brewer made Sirius Build a studio in his house in Jersey
Starting point is 01:16:18 So he could be with his family And still do his radio show 100% And I was like you know what That's fucking dope Yeah Like it's cool to see someone Be able to balance it Without it being toxic Like it's look it's hard there's no doubt but
Starting point is 01:16:29 but the old bag isn't a part of the business which is great like i would never there's a good comic friend of mine you ever dated a comedian no dude no my buddy al magical says uh there's one headshot per household that's his rule it's like fuck that shit one headshot per household dude that when there's one headshot per household oh one head me one headshot per household one headshot one headshot per household like two actors together fucking bullshit it's never a real thing like two two people is there anything worse two actors no no no no no then like uh like a like i couldn't imagine um being married to a female comic i would argue no matter who you are no matter what job you do around this fucking world, if your significant other does the same thing,
Starting point is 01:17:09 that relationship is doomed. I don't care what business is. I don't care what industry. Because there's got to be resentment and jokes and success. 100%. And then it becomes like, oh, well, it's because of this and because of that. And there's no more validity of, hey, maybe I'm just writing better material.
Starting point is 01:17:22 Right. See, that's tough because relationships are all about- You can't tell your wife like, I don't know, maybe I'm just better at this than you. Yeah, bitch, I'm stronger than you material right see that's tough because relationships are you can't tell your wife like i don't know maybe i'm just better at this than yeah bitch i'm stronger than you yeah that's what happens and by the way look at those guys that are successful look at like the acting world of that like uh chris pratt was married to what's her name there and and she was made more famous than him and in a moment he got famous famous he was like i gotta rock dude i'm out she's awesome what was her name anna ferris anna ferris she's so funny right she's dope but he got famous he wasn't famous with the. Right. She's dope. But he got famous.
Starting point is 01:17:45 He wasn't famous. He was the fat guy in Parks and Rec. And then he got famous. Right. And then he peaced out. And when he got famous, he was like, bye. He was like, I got to start fucking real famous pussy. Yeah, dude. He got out.
Starting point is 01:17:54 Yeah. So I'm just saying, when you do the same thing, the competition is too rich. There's no way. Lucy and Ricky. Perfect example. Yeah, bro. It doesn't work. It was insane.
Starting point is 01:18:02 And even their TV relationship was a mock-up of what was going on yeah it was fucking wild um dude thank you i uh i appreciate you coming through thanks for having me i'm gonna i'm gonna put all your shit down here your shit i don't know what i just you said everything great it was wonderful yeah we loved it did you like it bro i wish we could have cut away to him going it was good it was fucking was fucking fun. I'm going to put all your shit in the description below. I'm going to put ways that people can find you. The camp is so dope. I think that's phenomenal. You do it from May to what?
Starting point is 01:18:31 No. What is it? It's only one weekend. I only do it. Oh, it's one weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Father's Day weekend. Hilarious.
Starting point is 01:18:35 Which ironically, most people are attending. Yeah. Probably don't have one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's carillscamp.com. Okay, great. That's where tickets are. I think it's still at the second tier.
Starting point is 01:18:46 Are you touring right now? I don't have a real... Right, but are you going out? People just call and they're like, you want to come get drunk here for some money? And you're like, yeah, all right. Do you line up dates way in advance? Yeah, I do, but I'm like the last minute kid too.
Starting point is 01:18:59 A lot of clubs love bringing me in. I help clubs pull out of a slump. I've been known for that. Right. When the club's doing great, they're like, we need Kirill for it's fucking cranking. Right.
Starting point is 01:19:09 Like, all right. And then the club starts like go a little down. They're like bringing Kirill. Like, because what I'll do is I pull out people from the, under the rocks. Right.
Starting point is 01:19:20 Who've never been to this nightclub. And they're like, Oh, I'll go see what Kirill's up to. And so the club just gains like a new fan base because they're like, they're like, oh, I'll go see what Kirill's up to. And so the club just gains a new fan base because they're like, every club I've gone to, they're like, we've never seen these people before in our lives.
Starting point is 01:19:31 They're like, where did you find them? They're like, I've been doing parties in this town for 20 years. They're like, I didn't know they lived here. You bring them out of the woodwork. Yeah, people just show up, and it's the best. It's just characters. I love characters. When people are like, I'm too ugly to get into your parties, I'm it's the best. It's just characters. I love characters. When people are like,
Starting point is 01:19:45 I'm not, I'm too ugly to get into your parties. I'm like, please come here. Right. Like, that's why we have alcohol. I'm ugly too.
Starting point is 01:19:51 Like, what do you, this isn't like, that should be the tour. I'm ugly too. I'm ugly too. Oh, I might,
Starting point is 01:19:57 the name of this tour that I tried to like, basically called is like, I'm going to kill myself if nobody shows up. Like, this is just, that's it. Yeah, it's great. I'm going to write my fans into coming.. That's it. Yeah, it's great. I'm going to write my fans into coming like,
Starting point is 01:20:08 you want to lose this? I just bought a gun. Just post that shit on Instagram. Just like, oh, come do some shots. I'll post that in the description so you guys can see where he is next. I highly recommend it. Follow him online.
Starting point is 01:20:21 He has great fucking content. He's a good dude. I like him a lot. He's a friend of the family. Thank you. Here's what we like to do to end the episode. I'm going to get off camera. I want you to look straight in the camera.
Starting point is 01:20:30 You can either say one word or a phrase. So it's got to be a phrase or a word. Not like a big thing. Just make it either one word or a phrase. About what? Just anything? Whatever the fuck you want, man. Just whatever you want.
Starting point is 01:20:43 You just say it directly in the camera. What did you say? Bomb? In here, we pour whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey.
Starting point is 01:20:54 You are that creature in the ginger beer. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the whore. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. ginger i like gingers

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