Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Kirill AKA The Slut Whisperer
Episode Date: February 14, 2020Santino sits down with Kirill the Slut Whisperer to chat about going from an art school drop out sneaking around New York with famous comedians to traveling the world getting paid to pour champagne on... butts and boobs. TICKETS AT http://www.andrewsantino.com/ FEB 15-17 VANCOUVER, BC, CANADA FEB 22 BAKERSFIELD, CALIFORNIA FEB 28 DETROIT, MICHIGAN FEB 29 ATLANTA, GEORGIA MAR 6-7 PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA MAR 13 CHICAGO, ILLINOIS MAR 19-21 - MOHEGAN SUN, CONNECTICUT MAR 27 CINCINNATI, OHIO MAR 28 CLEVELAND, OHIO APR 10 PORTLAND, OREGON APR 11 SEATTLE, WASHINGTON APR 16-18 MIAMI, FLORIDA APR 19 WEST PALM, FLORIDA APR 24-25 - SPOKANE, WASHINGTON MAY 9 PHOENIX, ARIZONA JUN 5-7 SAN DIEGO, CA JOIN OUR PATREON!!! : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast BUY SOME MERCH: https://shop-andrew-santino.myshopify.com FOLLOW CHEETO: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ FOLLOW CHEETO TWITTER: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino FOLLOW KIRILL ON THE GRAM: https://www.instagram.com/kirillwashere/?hl=en BUY KIRILL'S MERCH: https://lindafinegold.com FOLLOW WHISKEY GINGER ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ FOLLOW WHISKEY GINGER ON TWITTER: https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS OR WE’LL COME FIND YOU AND KILL YOU...FOR REAL START DESIGNING YOUR NEW WEBSITE TODAY WITH SQUARESPACE GO TO https://www.squarespace.com/whiskey USE PROMO CODE "WHISKEY" FOR %10 YOUR FIRST DOMAIN OR WEBSITE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If this is your first time joining us,
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Happy to be back. This week's guest is incredible. Kirill is the man who got kicked off of Instagram
for being too naughty. Pretty
incredible man. I was happy to sit down and talk with him. I've known him for a while via the web,
and I'm glad that we got to connect finally. Right now, I'm in Vancouver. Vancouver. Vancouver,
Canada. British Columbia, eh? I'm up there doing JFL Northwest. Come out and see me. We're doing one live
Whiskey Ginger and two, I'm doing two
hour shows. So two
one hour long sets and then one live
Whiskey Ginger show. Tickets are still
available at andrewsantino.com.
I think a few have been re-released.
But they're pretty
close to being sold out. But go to andrewsantino.com
for all that information. Then next week
I'm going to be in Bakersfield, California,
going up to Bakersfield,
to the Tembler Brewing Company,
which is so dope.
I've done this before, two shows.
It's going to be great.
And then the end of the month,
February 28th and 28th,
I'm going to be Detroit, D-Town,
and then I'm going down to Atlanta on the 29th.
Of course, in March, I'm going to Philly,
I'm going to Chicago, I'm going to Connecticut, I'm going down to Atlanta on the 29th. Of course, in March, I'm going to Philly. I'm going to Chicago.
I'm going to Connecticut.
I'm going to Cincinnati and Ohio.
And then I'm going to be in Houston for Skank Fest.
I just got announced that I'm going to do a one-night show there in Houston for Skank Fest
with all those troublemakers from New York.
So for all this information, go to andrewsantino.com for the Red Rocket Tour.
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Go to andrewsantino.com for dates, Patreon, merch, tour, all that good shit.
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code whiskey for 10 off in here we pour whiskey
you're that creature in the ginger beard sturdy ginger like vampires the ginger gene is a curse
gingers are beautiful you owe me five dollars for the whiskey and $75 for the whore. Gingers, oh, hell no.
This whiskey is excellent.
Ginger.
I like gingers.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger.
My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth.
I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again.
Today, it is Kareel, the Slut Whisperer, or not.
We could take that out, too.
You can call me whatever.
Cheers.
But it's Kareel.
Kareel?
Yes.
Kareel. I said it, right? Yeah. Kareel. But I gave it a little accent. Dude, I grew up with this name in America. We could take that out too You can call me whatever Cheers But it's Kirill Kirill Yes Kirill
I said it right
Yeah
Kirill
But I gave it a little accent
Dude I grew up with this name in America
It's been butchered
But Kirill
But you were born in Russia right
Mmhmm
Born in Moscow
Moscow
I don't remember anything
I was six when I came here
Fully American
Yeah you're American
Yeah
Like I don't have too much pride
For the motherland
Other than the fact that you guys
Got Trump elected
That was the dopest shit
Yeah you're welcome
Thank you dude I'm saying I said thank you once i'll say it again bro i'm already ready
you know i can speak russian i'm ready for this can you yeah but you said you were too young to
remember yeah but i had to grow up in a russian household yeah yeah yeah like immigrant parents
are like you know yeah they won't let that shit go they fucking rule an iron fist where did you
move to when you came to america brooklyn and. Brooklyn and then Jersey. And then I grew up in Jersey my whole
life, but we were
a city family from Moscow. So
anytime we'd go to Manhattan, it was like Manhattan
straight to Broadway shows,
comedy shows. That's all.
My family was very into culture.
There's so many things. But I don't know
if they did it for real or just fake
to look like they were cultured.
You don't think they really loved that shit? I don don't know my dad will bring a flask to the opera
i don't know if he was there for like the true like that sounds like that's like the most american
shit on earth right yeah yeah he's like i gotta be drunk for this yeah not watching the fucking
opera sober um i have a million and one question i'm trying to get to like one first thought in
my brain but i said slup whisper at the beginning we said off camera do we want to talk about it you kind of iconically made a name for yourself on instagram um and in lack of a better way of
kind of encompassing it you are a comedian you're a photographer you're an entertainer
uh you are giving me way too much credit why not what the fuck you don't think so do you say funny
shit online yeah do you take pictures yeah do you create but i think funny
shit online doesn't make you a comedian well i don't think you're a stan i don't think you're in
what we do right right right but i would give you credit the fact that you put up funny shit on the
internet right but i do it without but i do it without fear of bombing so it's kind of like i
have a really nice safety net because i go delete oh okay right like you can't just like tell a bad
joke and be like but morgan right can i do it Mulligan. Can I do it again? Well, I'm glad you,
I'm not,
I appreciate the respect,
the recognition,
but from my perspective,
like there's not,
comedians aren't just one Avenue anymore anyway.
Uh,
but you creating funny content to me makes you a comedian just as much as
someone who writes a sketch,
someone who,
look,
I mean,
it's a vague term anyway,
but I do think what you make is good online.
Now I first heard of you or saw of you when you did an account called Slut Whisper on Instagram,
which is now dead.
Dead.
Tell me when it died.
March 14th, 2020.
On the 10-year anniversary of me doing all of this.
It was weird. It was like a
very surreal moment. It was about to be a decade.
It was one decade. It was literally a decade, and I'm like,
fuck yeah, wow, this is kind
of sad. 10 years of doing this is kind of
like, and then all of a
sudden, just it gets deleted. I'm like, well, okay.
That's even worse than I thought. What the fuck?
They took away from you. Do you think they consciously knew?
No, I think it was the fucking,
they were like,
you remember when Instagram,
no one wants to hear about this,
but like,
you remember when Instagram
was like bugging out
for like two days?
You don't remember
because nothing happened to you.
I remember vividly,
I was at a restaurant,
Instagram was just like
crashing, crashing, crashing
all day with everyone.
And then the next day,
like account gone.
And then I heard like
a lot of people got wiped,
a lot of bots.
And I think they just kind of went like, hey, we house like it's official like let's just like whatever new I don't
know how Instagram works but I'm assuming what did you how do you think you got caught in the
wake I don't understand what would have been your association with these fake accounts oh I think I
was just kind of like maybe they just applied some sort of new like policy right like hey if an
accounts had a thousand strikes that's their new threshold as opposed to like
10,000 strikes.
Who knows?
Whatever it could have been.
It's fucking crazy.
We've talked to them
and they've said like,
that like,
Kirill,
you have flags for like,
like all,
for every single type of like,
thing you can imagine.
I'm like,
literally all we do
is just make
offensive jokes
on the internet
and I show
girls covered in champagne.
It's the internet.
Yeah.
It's like, I'm going to sell you that.
Right.
Like sex and funny.
Sex and funny.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what the internet is.
Well, I mean, for people that don't know, I'll catch up people up to speed.
So essentially, Slut Whisperer was a page that had photos, video, memes fucking of you.
You were going to parties.
You were pouring champagne on boobs and mouths and butts.
And you were getting girls to do wild shit.
And you were putting up funny content.
It was just kind of like a stream of fun consciousness.
It was basically, I would give you whatever I was going through.
Whatever mood I'm in, right?
If I'm like, you know, I don't do this anymore.
But if I was coming down from Mali
let's just say it's gonna be a very depressing
next day I'll be posting some fucking
like John Cena doing
make-a-wish shit right like it'll be a
lot of like and they'll be like what is this
I'm like I don't know this is just what I feel like you don't have to follow
this is my online blog
it just happens to be on Instagram
right it's just like I'm used to being a
visual storyteller from just being a photographer and going to art school and all that shit.
Where'd you go to art school?
I dropped out of a shitty art school in Jersey.
What was it called?
William Patterson University.
Shout out to William Patterson, bro.
Yeah, yeah.
It was so bad.
Who went there that you know?
Me.
It was so bad that, bro, this is a great story.
Especially if you have a lot of comedy nerds
listening to this.
Oh my God.
So I was in college going for animation,
graphic design,
but at the same time I would sneak out
to go to the comedy cellar
and hang out with comedians
and got tied up with Bobby Kelly.
So dope.
Bro, so he's like,
we want to do this documentary.
We're going to film this shit at the cellar,
and then we're going to ship it to the troops in Iraq.
Colin Quinn's going to deliver it.
We're getting everybody on this.
Will you help film and edit it?
Because I was like the little fucking AV kid.
I was trying to do anything I could for comedians in New York.
And we filmed this documentary,
and I lived on Bobby's couch for like six months.
Wow. It was a really awesome experience and i wasn't even i was like 19 years old freshman in college are you
doing a pro bono where you just pro bono this was just exciting to be around you know people that i
admired so bobby kelly owes you some fucking money that's what we're saying right now bobby pay up
yeah no uh so then we shipped it it went off to to the troops in Iraq, and I got thrown out of college.
They're like, you lost your full scholarship.
That's it.
What for?
Because you flunked out?
I didn't go to class.
I lived on Bobby's couch.
I was like, Mom, I'm going to class.
And then straight to Bobby Kelly's house in Manhattan.
So then I'm like, all right, well, let me just try this Hail Mary.
And I go to the dean of the art department. I'm like, all right, well, let me just try this Hail Mary. And I go to the dean of the art department.
I'm like, so here's the thing.
You're taking away my scholarship, but let me try to get it back.
Here's what I've been doing for six months.
And he literally looks at it and goes, this is more important than anything we would have taught you.
You can have your scholarship back.
And then I got flunked out the next semester because I was like, well, that worked.
So let me just keep doing because that's way more important and way more fun and it was just like it was i was like
this is where i'm meant to be i'd rather learn from experience and have some fucking teacher
teach me how to do photoshop sure well i mean it's funny because a lot of people that i work with
that do graphic design photoshop and after effects and stuff a lot of them kind of taught themselves
in a way right they learn a little bit from here and take from other people that they know.
So those schools are kind of just an intro of structure to get you to a place where you...
Right, look, I'm sure there's amazing art teachers at amazing art schools.
I just...
Not at William Patterson or whatever.
No, it was just like it was good.
It wasn't like...
I'm glad I went there because it led me to this.
Because if I went to a more serious animation or design program,
I probably would have not found all of this.
Yeah, all the shit that you're doing now.
So then after you were flunking out of school,
did you really want to get into photography?
Was that a real thing?
Or was that kind of an excuse to move along?
No, I never even thought about it.
I took one photo class in high school.
I never thought about photography once in my life.
I got a job at Caroline's Comedy Club
because I needed money
because I was like,
I flunked out of college.
I'm going to embarrass
some of my family.
It's like the first child
in an immigrant household
to not go to college.
Can you imagine that?
Russian Jews.
My mom almost had a heart attack.
She still cries about the fact
that I don't have
a college diploma.
Still?
Still.
You can have mine.
Arizona State Journalism,
it'll get you fucking nowhere.
She'll be more disappointed.
Arizona State anything.
She'll be more disappointed.
This is exactly what I knew you would do.
Right.
Yeah.
I'm waiting for my honorary degree one day.
But I just started working at Caroline's,
had a shit job,
like shit pay,
but it was so much,
not shit job,
but it was like fun as fuck to work with comedians.
And we had a camera there and I would just take photos of comedians for fun.
That's wild.
Yeah.
Who did you take pictures of that you really, really admired?
Was there somebody that you were like, fuck, I love that comic?
There's one moment.
I dude, I was there every night because I made no money.
So I ate comedy club food for breakfast, lunch and dinner and then had to like take the train back to New Jersey. So I ate comedy club food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and then had to like take the train
back to New Jersey.
So I was pissed broke
so I would see everybody
and then one weekend
I missed,
Robin Williams dropped in
for Jeff Garland
and I was like,
are you fucking kidding me?
I was like,
really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I got to see everyone.
You can still catch him now.
He's still around,
I think, right?
Hey.
He's moving around town still.
He's hanging in there.
He's hanging in there.
Yeah, you fucking...
Yeah, you blew it.
You blew it on that
of all the shitty fucking comics
that you see.
You probably saw a lot of
dog shit comics too.
And they're like,
take a picture of this fucking clown.
Who was the guy
that you took a picture of
that you didn't really like
that they made you take photos of?
They didn't make me do anything.
They didn't care.
What was your job
then at Caroline?
Graphic designer.
I would just make playbills.
My job was to make my job sound more complicated than it was so I couldn't get fired.
Right.
Right?
Like, I used to go in and overcomplicate things because I was way too proficient of a graphic
designer for a comedy club.
Right?
Like, the guy before me, like, used, like, you know, like, paint to make shit.
And I brought in Photoshop and I made it so overly complicated, but it was done right
so that nobody could ever replace me.
Right? Right.
Like if I had a sick day, they were like, oh shit, we can't do this without Kirill,
huh?
Like it was one of those kind of like, I always try to make myself unfireable.
That's what comedy clubs for the most part, like they're just so run so inefficiently.
It's remarkable.
A lot of times, not all clubs, a lot of clubs are great, but so many clubs are run like
fucking restaurants.
I can tell you this though.
You know, when I worked at Caroline's, all I wanted to do was own a comedy club.
And when I worked at Comics, I don't know if you've ever heard of Comics.
Yeah, I know Comics.
Yeah.
All I wanted to do was never own a comedy club.
Sure.
Well, yeah, that's a very obvious.
For inside baseball people, that's a very like.
Right.
Specifically obvious reference over why you don't want to fucking do that.
Right, right, right.
I was like, oh, okay.
This sounds like a nightmare.
It is.
It looks like a nightmare.
It is.
Well, a lot of people that work in fucking comedy clubs are working in restaurant management.
These parallel things that they try.
They're trying to make money off of selling chicken wings and beer some places.
Some places take a lot of pride in comedy, right?
Right.
I used to do comedy works in Denver.
It's one of my favorite clubs in the fucking world.
They take an unbelievable amount of pride in comedy.
I'm not going to fucking badmouth and shit on some of the places that I should.
They take no pride, but fuck them.
They know who they are.
They're trash.
They take no pride in comedy. It doesn who they are they're trash they take no pride
in comedy
it doesn't matter
you're just a cunt
that comes in
they're trying to sell
a half a dozen wings
per table
and six beers
do you experience that
on the road a lot
I don't anymore
right
but like
you do
at a point in your career
every comedian
on fucking earth
experiences that
I feel like I have
a road life of a comic
I was just gonna say
the parallel that you have
I don't experience
anything in each city
I show up I see a hotel room I go to the party I go to the hotel room to say, the parallel that you have. I don't experience anything in each city. I show up, I see a hotel
room, I go to the party, I go to the hotel room
and I get the fuck out. You go home. Yeah.
For reference to people that don't know,
now you get
paid to show up to a party
to kind of be a liaison
of fun, an ambassador of fucking
fun. What's a contract
say? Two hours.
It just says, Kirill, two hours. That's it. What's your rider say? Two hours It just says Kirill
Two hours
That's it
What's your rider?
Do you have a rider of champagne?
Yeah
I have like
48 bottles of champagne
Three bottles of Patrona
A bottle of Gregos
A bottle of whiskey
A bottle of Hennessy
Mixer
You know all this shit
And then like a whole rider
Of props that they have to get
What are the fucking props?
Oh
There's
Well there's a huge list
And they have to choose like 10 Because like every club just gets like you said there's some clubs
that are like whatever like we're just using krill to get bodies in the door we're not gonna adhere
to the rider and when i show up and it's not there what am i supposed to walk out i just look like a
dickhead right so like there's some places where you go you're like oh they didn't get anything
like i have to fight for like a bottle of vodka. But the riders got like
kiddie pools,
silly string.
I'm trying to do,
I'm trying to like
just break down
those walls of nightlife
because they're so fucking stupid.
Right.
Like it's so douchey
and pretentious.
Like it's all a bunch
of drunk people
pretending that they're like.
Better than they are.
Yeah, it's really not.
So like I love the ability
I can walk into a town
and the club that might
normally not want me
will take me
and I'll be like,
but you know, you can't have a dress code this night.
You can't have this.
And I'm just going to destroy your club.
And they don't give a fuck because they make enough money.
Yeah.
Do you think the return is better that night or then the residual effect is what they're really looking for?
Well, you could take it either way, right?
There was a period in my career where booking me would come with a certain amount of backlash.
For sure.
I've been banned in a few Canadian towns.
Hey, congrats. What are we talking? Are you from Canada? No, but I a certain amount of backlash. I've been banned in a few Canadian towns. Hey, congrats.
What are we talking?
Are you from Canada?
No, but I know a lot of Canada.
I'm just there.
I think I'm banned in Barrie, Newfoundland.
I shut a club down the second night.
In Newfoundland?
The second night it was open.
Fuck me.
They booked me for a grand opening for both nights.
I did it with, they were like, we want you Friday and Saturday.
Monday, club lost its liquor license want you Friday and Saturday. Monday,
club lost its liquor license.
Yeah.
Holy shit. Yeah.
But it was like,
what do you want me to do?
Like,
because the town was so small,
they're like,
whoa,
we're not used to seeing our fucking,
like,
kids acting like this.
It's like,
well,
that's,
what do you think?
I'm sorry.
That's who they really are.
I'm going to put it on the internet.
This is what it is.
Yeah,
there's a couple,
they said, I think there was like, one fucking fucking college that said if I showed up on campus,
I'd get arrested in Virginia or something a long time ago.
Right.
I don't know.
All of it adds to the, you know.
It's the mystique.
It's the allure.
So this is what's crazy.
There are people that, outside of what you are, which is like an entertainer,
you're a body bringer, you're like there to fuck around and have fun.
There's people that get paid
simply to make an appearance and dip.
You are required to fuck around.
Well.
Right?
Like you kind of have it in your contract.
Well, I mean, the way it would work is,
look, if I burn a club,
a few clubs,
word gets around, right?
No one's going to book you.
Right.
My job is like,
bro, I'm being paid to party.
Basically, yeah.
Like I'm going to over deliver. Like I show up early, I hang out. Like these kids who show up from like, no one's gonna book you right my job is like bro i'm being paid to party basically i'm gonna over
deliver like i show up early i hang out like these kids who show up from like think about it like my
career is kind of built a lot on social media it's the way we all interact with quote-unquote your
fans yeah so when they show up in merch and they're there like why would i want to be a dick
and not show up and be like i want to take a a photo with you. Like, dude, thank you.
Like, what I've been doing is kind of reaffirmed.
It's cool to see these people show up.
Right.
How long do you think you want to do it for?
I'm done.
You're done?
Oh, my God.
Are you really, though?
Oh, I'm so old.
My hangovers are brutal.
Are you really done for real?
Like, I want to be hungover from this.
I'm getting there.
What do you think is the cutoff point?
I mean, I don't think
I'll be able to change
my like
entire lifestyle
but I mean like
I'll go out
if I want to
or if I want
you know
I think it won't be
for 10 years
it's been
my bread and butter
like I
even if I wanted to leave
I kind of couldn't
that's all I know
that's what I'm saying
when you say you're done
it's like where you go
so like
to be honest
the merch is like
that's it it's completely e where you go? So to be honest, the march is like, that's it.
It's completely eclipsed, the finances of the parties.
The parties are fun again because for like three years,
I felt trapped where I'm like, shit, what am I doing?
What am I doing?
How do I get out of this?
What's the next step?
Because it's really easy to be trapped in nightlife,
and then you're like the 50-year-old dude who's still doing it,
and it's just sad.
Kind of, but kind of dope.
At some point, that's also kind of dope.
Right, but I didn't transition this into Hugh Hefner.
I transitioned into the creepy dude in the club with the fanny pack.
You know what I mean?
That motherfucker was creepy, too, my friend.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I went to that house the latter years.
It was sad as shit, dude.
The Playboy Mansion was garbage in the latter half.
I went when it was way beyond the cool years.
Really?
And it was fucking so sad.
Dude, he was getting shuffled around by this group of-
No, no, but was everything else like-
Yeah, but you know what's so funny, man?
Never meet your heroes.
Yeah, fact.
Because the internet has given us full freedom of sexuality and prowess, that that place
doesn't have an allure because it's those things that you can think of in your mind
of like women walking around in bikinis and this fucking-
Yeah, but did he also have the same tastes he's always had so he didn't nothing changed he didn't advance he's like
oh yeah check out these hot ladies i got it's like bro they were hot like the 80s 78 yeah like
do you see how do you see the girls that are coming out these days right the new model it's
like that's like the iphone 2 he's stuck he was stuck in the way past so it's just kind of like
it lost but was there like a little bit of like yo this is i'm on sacred ground kind of dude but honestly man maybe it's just i was jaded i was just like fuck i thought
for some reason i'd saw see somebody fucking like i wanted something to happen to make me go oh shit
that's the thing that happens here none of that shit right like that's uh that's like what stan
hope said he's like some people just need to like that's all they had just die like you should have
just like you could have just died at your prime and be just he should have died he should
have died at the height of that fucking place like you know yeah like when the playboy like at the
time when larry flint got shot that's when that's like the peak of all their like that's when was
that the 80s he got shot in the 90s i thought yeah so like 90s is peak right before the internet hits Playboy. That's it. If you got killed then.
Who?
Tupac.
Biggie.
Yeah.
Hugh Hefner and Versace.
Forget it.
That's what you really want though.
When you get like, I think about that all the time.
Would Tupac have been a great artist if he was alive?
I don't fucking know.
Would Biggie have been his fucking beloved now?
I don't know.
I mean, it's easy to speculate and go, of course they were so dope.
It's like, yeah, dude, but a lot of guys were so dope. I don't know how, I don't know if mean it's easy to speculate and go of course they were so dope it's like yeah dude but a lot of guys were so dope
I don't know how
I don't know if they would
have continued
and that goes so long
for every piece of art ever
like every art that you're like
I don't know
could that artist keep doing that shit
I don't fucking know
that's why there's dudes
that are like
Steve Martin's ass
he quit the fuck
he quit stand up
he was like fuck this
I'm not doing it anymore
Eddie Murphy
yeah
well Eddie's about to come back
see is he
I hear rumors
no he is
he is he's doing clubs right now no he is he is he's doing
clubs right now man wow he's got a netflix special well i can't ask you to answer that
because no i would answer it i would answer it honestly if i knew i haven't seen him but i will
say this i am unbearably nervous to find out how he does because i admired him when i was a kid so
much that now he's doing it again i'm scared i. I'm scared he's going to be fucking trash.
I'm just being honest.
I hope he's not,
but I'm scared he's going to be fucking trash.
Eddie has fuck you money.
Yes.
But does he want to turn down
fuck you Disney money, right?
I don't think he's doing it because of that.
I think anybody who gets famous,
you know this,
anybody who gets famous in any faction
wants to keep it and sustain it,
and at some point when
it's gone long enough they want it back dave chappelle didn't come back because it was like
oh my god the money he came back because he was like i gotta be dave chappelle again right right
you know what i mean like those guys miss but this is a long hiatus i know but like will smith dude
will smith went took he went away from movies for a little while. Now he's on Instagram. He's doing fucking TikTok.
Right, right, right.
But he's crushing it.
But the difference is Eddie Murphy,
what I want is him to come out there and say faggot again.
He might.
Huh.
He might.
You think so?
Yeah, because-
I would put, there should be a Vegas,
you should be able to make a bet on a bet on eddie special
like why is there no casinos taking bets like that like i would that's a good bet like what
special will be how many faggots do you think eddie murphy will drop on his special on netflix
zero zero let me let me say this if he does if he does he does it will just be tonally a different
kind of joke my point is like chapelle said just as controversial shit in his last special as he ever did before.
He was just a little bit more clever about the wording.
So if Eddie did it, I'm sure he would do it a little bit more.
Right.
I hope so.
With a smarter slate.
Bro, I just saw Dice in New York.
Yeah.
And I was scared.
Because he's made a comeback?
I was scared.
Yeah.
And he ripped it at the stand.
Bro, he was so good.
He took that same character as if it matured.
Like, it grew up, but it's still done.
It's so good.
I was so blown away.
Eddie could do that.
My fear is that ain't going to happen.
I don't know.
I'm just afraid.
Is he going to come out in a wild outfit?
The leather suit and shit.
You know, it comes out in that red leather fucking suit.
Dude, how much do you think he got paid?
Honestly, I've heard a bunch of jokes about
what the money is and Netflix will never admit it.
I asked the guy who books specials at Netflix
about it. I was like, I heard it was $200 million.
He's like, you didn't hear anything. That's not even true.
And I was like, really? Because it sounds like
it's true. That sounds like Chappelle got, what,
$100? To get Eddie?
I feel like it was.
Look, rumors get out somehow whether or not they're total bullshit. Somebody said something. Well feel like it was. I mean, look, rumors get out somehow
whether or not
they're total bullshit.
Somebody said something.
Well, I'm excited.
That'd be awesome.
Yeah, it will be.
Hopefully.
Hopefully.
It could be trash.
So, let me jump backwards.
What I'm curious about is like,
we live this life
as comics on the road
of like,
the hotel can get depressing sometimes.
The venues get depressing
when the fans don't line up the way you want. Like, when the people aren get depressing sometimes the venues get depressing when the fans
don't line up the way you want like when the people don't aren't there for the things you want
like does that hit you in the same kind of way do you have those nights at the hotel when you're
like fuck this is draining me man um i have are you solo on the road i'm i try not to be but there
are some times where you are right it's it's easy not being solo in miami
everyone wants to come with you sure when you're like hey i'm going to winnipeg they're like bro
have fun i'll see you back in new york peace um yeah i've learned to deal with uh like in the
same way comics have learned to deal with bombing where it's just like that wasn't that bad like
whatever sure i've learned to deal with like bro bro, I've had some really shitty parties,
but I still make the best of them
and the crowd has a good time.
It's just like,
hey,
there's a snowstorm
and 17 people showed up.
Like,
what are we supposed to stare at each other?
It's just super weird,
right?
You just do it anyway.
So we just do it anyway.
Just get drunk with them
and you're like,
hey,
I have all this alcohol
that's on my rider,
so let's get fucked up
and then go somewhere else after.
Right.
Like it's kind of one of those things
where, you know, I'm pretty antisocial that's on my rider, so let's get fucked up and then go somewhere else after. It's kind of one of those things where
I'm pretty
antisocial
offline,
but when I'm working, it's like
you've got to turn it on.
Can you talk about probably the worst
party you've ever had?
The worst party I've ever had?
The worst party I've ever had was Hoboken.
That made
the rounds. You've probably seen it.
Talk about it.
It was
the easiest gig
in the world.
It really was. It was so close
to my apartment. It was once a month.
It was so much fun. And this fucking dude
just throws his wife
on the bar
and starts fingering her
in front of everyone.
And I'm like,
you see it in the videos.
I'm like,
holy shit.
Like, what am I?
And this dude is yoked.
Like, huge.
Where it's not like
I could be like,
sir.
Dude, stop.
And it's like,
this is security job
or whoever's.
And then it just makes it
on the internet
and like,
instantly.
Everywhere.
I was like, my career's over.
The last thing you want to do as a party guy is be associated with alleged
sexual assault.
Luckily, it
took a few steps for the truth to fully
come out. First it was like, guy assaults
woman. Then it's like, husband and wife.
Then they're like, cop and wife. Then it's like, husband and wife. And then they're like, cop and wife.
And then it's like, all right, my name finally left all the clipping.
Yeah, you had nothing to do with it.
I was just a, at that point, I was just observing.
But it turns out he was an ex-cop?
He was like some cop or some shit.
And he fingered, he threw his wife on the bar.
Yeah.
And fingered on the bar.
And you're right there.
I'm literally, I'm like on the bar.
No, but I stopped pouring. And people there I'm literally I'm like on the bar Like I'm no
But I stopped pouring
And people see
And I'm like
Everyone
There's dudes who were
At the bar ordering drinks
That were like
Like face
Like literally
Staring at a labia
Were like
How long did this go on for?
10 seconds
Right
Before it just was like
But it was all
Everyone had their phone
Right right right
But the mayor of Hoboken
closed the place down.
There's a mayor in Hoboken?
Yeah.
That feels like a place
that doesn't have a mayor.
Right, you're named after hobos.
Yeah.
Hoboken.
It says a dog is a mayor.
I talk about this all the time.
We should have made a shirt for it
that says that
he said that my party
was an affront to human decency.
An affront to human decency?
Right.
That's a phenomenal name.
Oh, I was like,
this is great. That's a phenomenal name. Oh, I was like, this is great.
That should be like,
if that, I would,
that's like a,
that's like a,
that's like a review for a movie.
Right, right, right.
I would take that
affront to human decency.
So, really scary at the moment,
hilarious a year later
when you could be like,
hey, remember that shit
we survived.
Remember that time
when they caught you
Yeah, I've almost lost
my career a few times.
Or at least I thought I had.
What was the other time?
Beyond the, well, losing Instagram. Losing Instagram, losing Instagram career a few times. Or at least I thought I had. What was the other time? Beyond the...
Well, losing Instagram.
Losing Instagram was a big one.
Let me think.
Because you had 1.4 million people.
When they kicked you off, you thought that was over?
Did you think it was like for real?
Right, because I didn't even run a backup.
I was like, I'm good.
I'm on Netflix now.
Like, I'm untouchable.
Like, 1.4 million.
Like, I got everybody.
Dude, I had people hitting me up that I didn't expect that were...
That I not would say admired, but it was like, oh, that's kind of cool that people would
slide in your DMs like, I saw your documentary.
You're like, oh, shit.
These people are actually watching this shit.
Yeah, I was on Cloud9.
And then I was like, year anniversary Bam bam bam Boom gone
So fucked
It was hilarious
Wait let me
Let me correct that real fast
The Netflix documentary
That you're in
That's still up though right
Yeah
It's called American Meme
Yeah I wasn't behind the title
But it's the American Meme
It's so funny
I was just gonna say
Dude it was great for my career
Because I was the only person
Nobody knew on that
But I got to fucking
Soak up the juice
Of all the stars on it because that's
why you watched. And then I got just
all the residual love. It's funny because I knew
who you were before you did that.
And when I watched it, you were
probably the only one I was interested in watching. I'm being
genuine. Thank you. I've told everybody.
Because I was like, I want to see what the fuck
is that about. It legitimized my
career or at least what I did a little
bit more than just like, oh, this guy's just a fucking idiot. my career or at least what i did a little bit more than just
like oh this guy's just a fucking idiot yeah would you know what it did though for real for me also
like not really knowing you was like uh it gave me another insight into like uh who you were as a
person it did a good job of justifying you as like because dude somebody could look at like this is a
good example of what the internet does dan bilzerian to like common instagram america consumer they either have two opinions they're either like fuck yeah greatest thing on earth right or this
guy needs to burn in hell there really isn't any like middle ground with a guy like that well i'll
tell you why go ahead because he gives you the exact content that's on brand right and it's
exactly like you know what you're getting ever you're like You're like, guns, tits, money. Period. Guns, tits, money.
That's it.
That's it.
So it's like, that's his brand, and that works.
But for me, I was like, I'm just going to be honest.
What do I have to lose?
But that's what was good about you.
Because it revealed a little bit more of you that I was like,
I don't really know enough about this guy.
When it has your mother in there,
talking about this parental struggle that you have of like, know whether or not that was overtly produced but it's just like there's a moment of
truth that i love as a comedian because there's things that we like to tell that's like it's nice
to see the real shit like there's some real shit in there where you for a moment are like it's a
little bit of a weird bummer when your parents are bummed out even though you're successful right
that's a real fucking thing oh yeah you'll. You'll never see that with Bilzerian.
That's my point.
It was nice to get that slice of you that I don't think we could get from the internet.
So for what it's worth, the documentary did its job for me when I was viewing you.
Thank you.
Well, it was awesome.
It was dope.
Because I did something before that on Showtime, and it was a fucking dud.
What was that?
What did you do?
Oh, my God.
I got sold on this thing.
It was incredible.
They were like, Kirill,
we want you for the show.
Dick Wolf's executive producer.
I was like, are you fucking kidding me?
Dick Wolf. You're gonna be a fucking procedural show in no time.
Showtime.
You can do whatever you want.
They want to show New York City
at 3 in the morning. The show's called
3 AM. We're getting a crime scene
investigator. We're getting a lady who works in a hospital.
We're getting a hooker.
We're gonna get you.
They're like, I'll get the hooker.
And I was like,
oh, they're like,
we're gonna show how New York lives at 3AM.
I was like, uncensored showtime.
Let's do this, Dick Wolf.
Oh my God.
And then they fucking cut the thing together.
It was like,
the hooker's like crying about her boyfriend.
I'm like,
I thought I was gonna see you like get the fuck behind a dumpster
yeah like show me real new york at three in the morning show me and they made like they they were
like oh fight with your girlfriend about this it's like what and then it just became a part of it or
no i think he just put his name on it yeah he wasn't there yeah yeah yeah uh so it was terrible
and they didn't market it. They didn't promote it.
None of us.
What was it called? All of us were embarrassed.
It was 3 a.m. on show.
It was called 3 a.m.
Yeah.
Everybody watch 3 a.m. on Showtime tonight.
It's fucking bad.
Comment.
Let us know what you think.
That's funny, though, when they stamp names on things.
I always think that's funny when they're like, you're like, Dick Wolf.
You're like, fuck, maybe the involvement will be high, right?
Like, I just did a show with Little Dicky that's coming out in March on FX.
And, you know.
Yeah, with Dave.
Oh, sick.
And I'm not good at faking these fucking press things.
I'm so trash at it.
I've always been trash.
I don't care enough.
Do they give you a thing like, here's what you got to do?
Don't say this.
Don't say that.
They just let comedians out in the wild and hope that you're trained for this?
Because they know that we'll never say it.
I'll never do what...
They know that we will go against the grain.
Oh, the script.
Yeah.
If they're like, hey.
We're always gonna break that.
Were you honest?
Too honest.
Really, what happened?
Yeah, well, there's-
Oh, you can't say it?
I will, yeah.
I don't give a fuck.
The woman from Entertainment Tonight was like,
she's like, Kevin Hart's a producer on the show.
How's Kevin?
I was like, I never met that motherfucker.
I never met him one day in my life.
I go, he's in the green room.
I still haven't met him.
And the woman's face was like,
that's not what we wanna hear. I was like, hey man, I'm not, but the thing is like still haven't met him and the woman's face was like that's not what
we want to hear
I was like hey man
but the thing is like
oh yeah we run a mile
with Kevin every morning
before the shoot
yeah yeah yeah
we make a Nike commercial
on fucking
no but it was just like
there was no disrespect
I like Kevin Hart
I don't know him
but like I'm certainly
not going to sit there
and fucking phony it up
for these people
to pretend like
he's my boy
oh because they want you to
and a lot of people
I feel like would
because they'd be like, oh, Kevin
the best because it makes you look like
your fucking boys. I don't want to do that shit.
So I did that. Of course,
my agent was sitting there like, why the
fuck are you doing that? I was like, I can't lie.
If you ask me something about Dave, I know Dave well. We're good
friends. I can't
pretend to give credit
where I don't know how to.
Do you know what I mean so that that's a
huge like kev thanks for financing this yeah yeah no thanks for fucking playing around with them but
like we're putting your name on it that's in the office right that's office shit i don't know any
of that stuff i'm fucking down here but i think that happens a lot you know like dick wolf saying
he's a part of that thing i bet you if dick will really put his fingers on it it probably would
have been dope wolf like 9 000 years old loan order has years old? Law & Order has been on for 40 years.
He's been dead for 26 years.
I don't think he's alive.
He's like Walt Disney.
He's communicating fucking through.
Yeah, he's frozen.
They still make Law & Order episodes, which is insane.
Bro, he has Dick Wolf does Chicago Fire, Chicago PD, Chicago Med, and they got one more.
Another Chicago show.
And I always said if I was tanking out here and I just didn't want to be in LA anymore,
I would move back to Chicago where I'm from. And just and just jump on one of the I want to be the guy
that when everybody runs by they're like where's and I go he's in the break room like that guy
that's all I want to be and just make them keep going you know that's all I want is like one
throwaway line every fucking week so good the computer tech guy that goes just yeah I'm working
on it you know that fucking guy I'd be that guy any day of the week what would you what was you
this is this is a legitimate thing for people in our bullshit-ass business.
Because, you know, look, what you do is fun, what you do is dope, but the game is bullshit.
So, like, if you have to crack out at some point, if you're like, I'm not doing this anymore.
Right.
Where are you going?
Well, the thing is, for me, there's a life, there is like an end, right?
For comedy, I feel like you're just going to do this forever.
Like, who's going to, the voices in your head aren't going to stop talking to you.
You know, you're always going to do this forever. The voices in your head aren't going to stop talking to you. You're always going to be funny.
With me, it was just like, it's just taxing on my body
because I can't not drink.
I don't do that shot that someone hands me.
I get called a fag, right?
Because, Correale, look on the internet.
You're just a party machine.
You should start sucking dick while they hand you the shot.
I'll be like, I'll suck it out of your dick.
You do it, and I'll blow you. you want me to be a real fag dude
kiss me bro kiss me then i'll take a shot blowing guys at my party fuck yeah at this point i should
just change a whole new market like the club owners are like what then you start the gay
clubs then you make a ton of money there's so much clean house at a gay club have you done
gay no no one's ever booked me for one. And I think they're
they're heterophobic.
You're too
yeah, you're too straight?
I'm too manly for them.
You are too straight.
If you were more effeminate.
Trust me, I'm not.
I've kissed more guys
than anyone in this world.
Really?
Yeah.
You kiss guys at parties?
No.
But I have.
At home?
No.
I mean, you know,
not at home.
I've done it.
You're skirting around it, man.
I don't know.
Maybe you have. I can admit itirting around it man I don't know Maybe you have
I can admit it
I know
I don't care
No I've never done it in private
No
Yeah
It's always been in public
Yeah
But when a dude comes up to you at the club
And he starts fucking around
What do you have a limit with people?
No no no
Because I don't think anyone's
Trying to sexually assault me
Like that
Well
I was just going to say
Girls are worse than guys
I was just going to say
There's no way girls don't sexually assault
Girls are the worst
Grab your dick and shit
Yeah
And they're like
Ha ha ha
And you're like
How is
You know
I was waiting for pizza one night
In West Hollywood
And
I had a cab drive me down there
Because it was the only place
That was open
I went and got a piece of pizza
I'm standing out on the side
This guy comes up to me
He grabs my
Like puts a finger in my ass
Grabs my ass
And I turn around
And I fucking like
Wave my arm And it's three of these dudes.
He's like, ooh, tough guy, tough guy.
And I was like, am I going to get gang raped by three gay guys?
Right, because what do you, you can't be like, I'm going to call the police.
They're like, what?
What are you?
That's like, the guy's like, what are you, a fag?
Yeah, and the cop is like, I'm right here.
Right, right.
Arrest him, boys.
Yeah.
Handcuff him and put it in.
I think, I think dudes, dudes are aggressive, but not as aggressive as chicks.
Chicks are fucking aggressive in that world.
I get that there are certain things that girls can get away with that guys can't.
But guys that get too overly aggressive about that concept is also weird.
At my camp, we had this girl who was just joking around
with some old dude
and she's hot
and he was like,
yo, can you kick my hand?
And she went up to kick it
and she slipped
and he like,
kind of like flipped her under
and her tit popped out
and she got up and slapped him
and he freaked out
and was like,
I want the cops here.
This is assault.
And we're like,
bro, you're all drunk.
You fucking moved her legs so she fell
and she got up and slapped you for it like she was ready to keep drinking and have a good time
it wasn't like uh you know it was just like a friendly fun slap he lost his mind and he's like
i'm an ex-cop this is fucking bullshit if i laid hands on her like that i'd be in handcuffs but
women can get away i was like dude relax and then it
was fucking hilarious one of my boys is like a cop too and he's like all right i'm gonna go talk to
him like let me try to like calm the situation before the cops before we actually have to call
cops yeah and uh this and his this this dude this nut nut job he he brought his friend there and his
friend was like i'm really sorry i'm really sorry, I'm really sorry.
He's just, you know, he was a 9-11.
He's a little aggressive, da-da-da.
He's just that.
And my buddy, the cop, like,
talks to him, comes back.
He's like,
there's no getting through to this guy.
He's like, I was literally about to tell him,
like, all the good cops died at 9-11.
Like, he was just like,
you need to relax about this whole, like,
9-11 shit right now. Like, you can't keep... He kept saying it over and over. Yeah, he was like, I saw shit. 9-11. He was just like, you need to relax about this whole 9-11 shit right now.
He kept saying it over and over.
Yeah, he was like,
I saw shit.
9-11.
Yeah.
You're like, sir, 9-11.
Sir, what does that have to do
with the fact that you let a girl fall
and then she slapped you?
Yeah, you slipped her fucking feet out.
No, look,
girls can be wild and shit
when they get drunk
and do dumb shit too,
just as much as guys do,
but guys like that
have to take the-
That guy's definitely not- Stable? That's like a ticking time bomb. Yeah. You look at that, you guys like that have to take that. That guy's definitely not stable.
That's like a ticking time bomb.
Yeah.
You look at that, you're like, I'm glad we avoided whatever's going to happen here, but
that guy's going to unload on someone else.
Well, yeah.
And this is wild, too, because this is for people's reference, too.
You throw a camp.
How many years have you done the camp?
I got a fourth year coming up.
Is it going to be your fourth?
It's the, yeah, it's year four up he's gonna be your fourth it's the it's the yeah it's year
four it's a camp in connecticut and i went there uh like i was off one weekend they were like hey
come up here check this out you know like uh and it was awesome it was an adult camp everything you
want to do as a kid with alcohol right and i i documented the whole thing because it was fun as
fuck and the owner was like hey girl we got so much love from social media because no one's really seen this.
You know, especially, you know, they never had, like,
somebody with a following come through and actually, like.
So you took over a camp that existed.
So they run this camp every weekend from May to, like, October.
Holy shit.
During the week, it's a kid's camp.
And on the weekends, the adults come in and fuck in the same cabins that the kids live in.
Tight.
Awesome.
And they were like, would you like to take over a weekend?
And we did it. And it's awesome.
It's so much fun. You know who does one too?
What's his dude? Who's that actor
who's really creepy with a pencil mustache?
You know
who I'm talking about. How many though?
Jake Gyllenhaal, Adam Driver. No, no, no. Like old.
Old?
Like the little pencil mustache.
Oh, oh, oh, fucking.
I can't think of his name.
Yeah, I see him, dude.
God damn it.
I'm closing my eyes right now and I see him.
Hold on.
His name is, and he's like, he's very, he's just flamboyant.
Yeah, he's flamboyant, old gay dude.
His name is, God, this is going to kill me.
Do you know who this is?
Do you know who it is?
You got to look it up on your phone right now.
It's, I don't even remember the movies he is? Do you know who it is? You gotta look it up on your phone right now. It's,
I don't even remember the movies he's done.
I know what he is.
Slick Back Hair.
P, P,
with a P?
No.
Slick Back Hair, right?
That's what you're talking about?
Little Pets on Mustaches?
I might have a text message.
John Waters.
John Waters, yes.
Man, my mind is fucking good some days.
He does a weekend there.
He does a weekend there.
Like, they let like Some gossip girl
Fan club take over
It's awesome
Wow
So
What's the name of the spot
Club Getaway
In Connecticut
But then you
I just call it
Kirill's Wet Hot American Summer
And if you're off
I highly recommend
It's like
It's a lot of fun
It's a dope cabin
Activities
All day
All night
Open bar
I get all the liquor sponsors
To like donate booze
The tickets are fucking dirt cheap, too.
What does it cost to go there?
Without sounding like a plug, but it's around $500, and it's every meal and a bed for two nights.
With food and drinks?
Everything.
That's ridiculous.
Yeah, you can't get a hotel room in Manhattan for that.
Fuck no.
And food and drinks?
And the food is incredible.
And what are the activities, by the way?
There's about 100.
You can go archery, zipline. Food and drinks? Food. And the food is incredible. And what are the activities, by the way? I have about, there's about 100.
You can go archery, zipline, just- Anything in the water?
Yeah.
Boats and ships?
Water skiing, all the shit.
They have the fucking giant inflatable stuff.
It's awesome.
It really is a lot of fun.
What is that thing called when you jump at the blob?
Do you have one of those?
Yeah, they have the blob.
Those things are hilarious.
The blob.
They got everything.
Those things are so fun, dude.
I've done those once.
I was like, this is exactly what, this is, there's a little piece of us that like dies
when we get older that you, that you like, it just, the child thing goes away.
And when you do things like that, you're like, fuck, I miss, I miss so much being a kid.
Well, someone said it on Reddit.
They're like, someone said that they're like, they were talking to their 90 year old grandmother
and she said, I still, I might look 90.
She's like, but I feel 18. Dude, my grandmother says that. She's like, I act, she's said, I might look 90, but I feel 18.
Dude, my grandmother says that.
She's like,
I feel like I'm still 18 in my head,
and I will always feel like,
she's like,
my 90-year-old friends,
I still look at them
and think of them
in that same 18-year-old demo,
even though I can see
that they're 90 like me.
We're just friends enough
that we interact
like we're 18 still.
Yeah.
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old what do you feel old because i'm um i i'm like i totally get midlife crises now
like it's this hold you for in real i'm 35 and you in real life? I'm 35. And you feel?
No, I'm 35.
Yeah, 35.
You got it.
Yeah.
I think I had a stroke just now.
Yeah, I just feel old.
You feel weathered.
You know why?
Because my job also involves hanging around 19 to 22-year-olds.
Yeah, I was just going to say.
Right?
The older I get, it's just turning into a daycare center sometimes.
Do they throw that at you ever?
What?
They're like, how old are you?
You're like, 35.
And they're like, ew.
No, they're like, oh my god.
The girls love that shit?
Yeah.
You're like a dad.
Look, if I didn't have a following or a brand or anything, and I was just hanging out at
the club, yeah, I'd probably be like, ew, get out of here, creep.
But they don't care about age.
Dude, there was fucking 30-year-old girls blowing Hugh Hefner.
You know what I mean?
But you and Hugh Hefner are two different things. Yeah, I mean be clear just to be clear yeah yeah you're a dope dude but that's a different thing
don't forget hugh hefner was getting blown by tens i'm being approached by twos but in winnipeg and
10 year olds by the way right i'm the hugh hefner of winnipeg you are the hugh hefner fucking does
a lot of middle canada that's i really haven't why a lot of canada shit they just love you
canada fucks with you 19 a party that's Why a lot of Canada shit? They just love you.
Canada fucks with you. 19 to party.
That's right.
I forget about that shit.
You can drink up there.
Yeah, so those kids are like clamoring.
Dude, do you know Simon Rex?
Yeah.
Not like that, but yeah.
He can't go to Canada.
Criminal record.
Whatever.
Literally, if you don't have a spotless record,
Canada hates you.
I know.
And he's like,
I lose out on so much money
Because Canada is such a
They love
They're
Does he do parties too?
I think it's just
When he performed
But he lost that whole market
Right
It sucks
Canada's awesome
I'm petrified of being
Like arrested
Not
I think me getting arrested
Would be great for my brand
Yeah
But it would be horrible For my brand yeah but it would be horrible
for my bank account
because I would lose Canada
it depends
this is crazy
I've talked about this
on the podcast before
I used to do that for a living
when I first moved to LA
I used to get bans
into Canada
that had criminal records
whoa
literally what I did
yeah it was crazy
very specific
so I can
I know what to do
I know how to do it
I know
people can get in
it just costs money
that's the bottom line
it costs a lot of money for each time or forever they can expand your right each time you're basically
fucking brat you're basically bribing the canadian government it's it's actually a brilliant system
and the only reason that happens by the way is because we did that to them so it's a reciprocation
thing right like that's that's what criminal entry is for almost every country is depending
on your country's laws the opposition laws usually are stronger
based on what you create because it's kind of like a big dick competition right right so canada
says fuck you to america because america said fuck you to canada for quite a long time
so who says fuck you to canada we do we always have yeah have we really i don't know anything
okay look at it like this look at it like this this is is wild. The immigration in America right now is like the biggest issue in fucking everyone's mouth.
It is very, very difficult
for anybody to get a visa for America,
but for some reason in Canada
to get a work visa to get here
is unbelievably difficult
for somebody that is in the same content.
Do they feel like we're just so close
it's like go play in your own sandbox?
It's because of the difference in...
Who do we hate more, Mexicans or Canadians?
Me or the country?
The country.
The country hates Mexicans more.
I hate Mexicans more.
No, I think the country...
I think it's how I call them, snow Mexicans.
Snow Mexicans, yeah.
The country's harder on them. called them snow Mexicans So we're surrounded by different varieties of Mexicans
Right
The country's harder on
Because Mexican immigration is a whole thing
Dude, it's funny, you can make fun of all that shit
But we run a merch company
And I'll tell you what, we were just talking about it
You can make fun of Mexicans and talk as much shit as you want
But goddammit, we've had white employees
And they are the worst
They're so entitled
and so lazy yeah that like i'm sorry like we have mexican guys that literally i would probably
maybe not but take a bullet for probably not not really not really no no you'd metaphorically
metaphorically i'm like that dude's like that's my guy but if you need to take him away take him
away and they're like oh mexicans are taking other jobs it's because they're actually working yeah and also that's not that's also another
fucking myth they're not taking all the way all the jobs they're all they're working the job that
they always work that's always like one of those misnomers that gets pushed around it's just like
a it's a catchphrase but the real truth is like dude i have a i have a pretty solid mexican fan
base and you know what my favorite thing about these motherfuckers is you can make fun of mexicans
like in loving and they love it right
you start talking shit about whites and they get real nervous and mad at you and you've stepped on
their toes you've called them the wrong thing right the one thing i love about my mexican
fucking fans like i did a couple shows in pasadena it's all mexicans dude they just want a good time
they love having fun they just want to fucking talk shit have a laugh have a good time that's
the that's what i find more than anything.
This is something interesting about a parallel. My shows, if they're racially mixed, I know I'm going to have way more fun.
Because when it's all white, for some fucking reason, I sell some weird joke off that I know culturally they don't like.
It's not even about them.
That's the worst part.
They defend something that isn't them. It's not even about them. That's the worst part.
They defend something that isn't them.
Have you ever had... Okay.
Yeah.
They take offense on behalf of someone else.
Yeah, they have no business taking offense for it.
Everybody's a proud victim.
That's why.
I know, but today it's the worst it ever was.
It's the weirdest it's ever been.
I tell a joke about having a black pilot.
I had my first black airline pilot.
I fly every weekend.
I've only had whites. And I tell a joke about having my first black pilot I had my first black airline pilot. I fly every weekend. Right. I've only had whites.
Okay.
Yeah.
And I tell a joke about having my first black pilot.
And I'm not going to finish the joke, but as soon as I go through it, people, white people,
half of the white people love it and half of the white people are like, I don't know if
I'm supposed to.
It's this weird like, of course you're supposed to.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
Let it the fuck go.
You're not standing there at a fucking amtrak
station saying this because then you're like all right this might be a rally right but like this
is a comedy club like and i do that on sundays everybody knows where we are on sunday mornings
station noon to two amtrak station um i did say this this was so fucked up this weekend though
this was so mean but i did love it just because i was in denver and i just knew that like you know
denver is extremely liberal
and i was like i don't know if you guys know what's going on this you know in australia it's
on fire and people were like oh yeah and i was like well i think um i think because that i want
to donate the proceeds tonight and everyone started to be like whoa and i was like to trump's 2020
campaign people i mean the faces were like no i. I was like, you already clapped. It's over.
You already did it.
I just like fucking, I love doing that to people to get their goat because I'm like, let it go.
This is like, relax.
You're not as important as you think you are.
None of this shit is real.
We're fucking around.
Like, that's kind of the world you live in too is like, you can't take much serious because it's just for fun.
All that shit's for fun.
Right.
can't take much serious because it's just for fun all that shit's for fun right it's weird because i've kind of have my own little pocket on the internet where i'm like south park where at this
point most people are like it's corral like they know they're like what are you it was easier on
slut whisperer because somebody would fight with me and someone be like dude you're following an
account called slut whisperer like what did you think you were gonna discuss yeah like have an
honest reasonable conversation about something?
Of course it's going to be offensive and stupid.
But you still get clapped at.
Yeah, but getting clapped at is part of the process.
Dude, being oppressed is part of the whole...
Dude, without outrage culture,
there'd be very little to talk about too, right?
Right.
Well, do you think you gain more followers
when you start wars like that? You'll'll take a clip that some some dummy says to
you and you're like come on motherfucker yeah because they want to see that you're quick that
you're clever right you're not just a dude who's just like look a lot of the internet is faceless
right uh almost all of it everyone's kind of faceless so when you could be dude they just
it's like i interact on my page all day because it's
funny to me so you you open the dms dude i read everything it's silly it i treat it like a hangout
it's like we just bust balls and that's just what it is and unfortunately though because now
half the shit gets reported for bullying like i'll you get reported for that dude i'll write
something like shut up
fatso as a comment back to my girlfriend they'll be like this is harassment and bullying i'm like
that's my fucking girl she she's sitting right next to me i just saw i just saw your girlfriend
posted um a picture of her butt i did i posted and she got it got taken down got taken down
and then this other girl chimed in before got got taken down that she was like, oh my
God, I have it.
It's so stupid.
Like these people exist.
That's the scary part.
Like some, some girl was mad because you posted a picture of your girlfriend's butt.
And the worst part is these people.
That your girlfriend told you to post.
Yeah.
And these people are like, these people are motivated.
The problem with people like us is I'm lazy.
Right.
So my opinions stay in my head or sometimes they'll come out to the real world.
But these people who are offended or freak out,
they're the ones who go and vote.
They're the ones who make all the decisions.
So this chick writes to me,
if you care about this woman,
you wouldn't have posted this.
Hopefully she escapes from you.
Hopefully she escapes from you.
Nice, dude.
Dope.
Let her go, bro bro you do have her
chained up you are a bad bad man
and her bio is
Christian living in biblical times
Anthony's mom god bless
oh is that Anthony's mom
I know who that is
Anthony's mom
I love when people do that on fucking Instagram when they go like
that's how little
you have to offer to the world.
Son of Kevin, wife of David.
Loving father of 12.
And it's just like, bro, this is how pathetic your existence is that you're defined by things that you're not in control of.
Right.
Like you're like, oh, I'm an Italian American, you know, mother of seven.
And you're like, I've learned nothing about you except
you're annoying already yeah that's like the stickers on the back of a fucking right like my
family yeah yeah my dog my dog my husband my four kids it's so it's so funny because people well
what that really says to me is especially as a comedian when i see that a lot like because i get
those people the first people like do you chirp with people or you got you're kind of like
i used to dude but i at some point now like those people
used to chirp at me like the bitch who has the stickers on her back window right her only identity
is her family i i can't bother with that bitch because my fans are so strong they're like people
that that enjoy what we do is so much better to me that i'm like oh fuck you bitch like i just
don't i can't i can't deal with the like for real though on your come up as a comedian the negativity
is all you fuck with.
True.
So you've gotten it.
Yeah.
This is me.
You just get over it at some point.
You're like, fuck this.
I don't want to, I can't.
Like now, dude, like this was bananas.
I think I've talked about it before, but Calvin Klein put up a fucking billboard in Manhattan
and they said, all of our new Midtown Manhattan billboards are going to feature plus size models.
There was a woman, bro I'm not exaggerating
there was a woman
so large in fucking underwear
that she was the whole
billboard. The whole photo was her.
So I tweeted, I retweeted
the tweet and all I said was
that's one more way to sell more fabric.
That's one way to sell more fabric. Right? Just fucking fabric. That's one way to sell more fabric, right?
Just fucking around.
That's one way to sell more fabric.
There you go.
It's a joke.
Plus size models.
This, I didn't even tag her.
The girl was hunting her own, she was like hunting her own shit.
Like she was going through the regular news article to find what people, she came at me
so hard, and she was like oh of course a
white male said this i but i joke about you and you shoot up a school and i was like um i was like
yeah but i'd have to get more ammo because you know you're heavier like all this shit so we kept
going back and forth and back and forth until then it was the racist mob got at me and was like
you're racist and i I was like, whoa.
I said this bitch was fat.
Never once did I say anything about a race.
It had nothing to do with it.
You, by the way, just sitting here, you didn't know that she wasn't white, right?
Like, I just said she was a big girl on a billboard.
But automatically, they said I'm a racist.
So that's when I go, bye, and I clock out, and I block and whatever.
Oh, you're lucky.
I got deleted off Twitter For that same shit
Oh for real
Yeah
But I was just gonna say
I won't stand there
And have you call me a racist
Like if you can say like
I'm making fun of this woman's weight
And that's like immature
And rude
Okay
But like when these groups
Come after you
And they're like
You're a bigot
I'm like bro a bigot
What the fuck
When people are saying
Like don't you dare
You can't talk about it
Don't make fun of a woman's weight
Cool
Ask that same girl If her boyfriend cheats on her with a fat girl.
The first comment should be like, yo, that fat bitch.
That bitch is fat.
Yeah.
Don't fucking.
It's all perspective.
Yeah, of course.
I got kicked off for making a fat joke too.
What'd you say?
I picked a fight with the wrong person though.
Someone with a little bit more power than me.
This fucking fat girl posted something about hey it was about
airline seats and
how people, no just people
she's been like I don't like the looks I get
from like if I'm too fat and I was like
look I don't care how fat you are
it's your life until
your fatness inconveniences me
if you're spilling over into my seat
we have a problem
we can't smoke on airplanes anymore
it's affecting me
I didn't realize this she was like some big fat YouTuber
I don't know who she was I don't remember
I can find a screenshot but she said
don't worry honey I fly
private
and I was like alright I can't
I was like okay so then I hit
her back with
I know I saw the movie and I tweeted Operation Dumbo Drops
cover.
And they just yanked me with it.
Like, dude, the huge YouTuber.
And you know how loyal YouTube fans are.
Oh my God, bro.
Just flooded me.
I panicked because I was like, yo, if they find the Instagram too and they'll fucking
report that.
They clipped me on Twitter within like three hours.
And then I got kicked off again a year later.
You're done, huh?
Are you done with it?
Yeah, I'm done.
I miss Twitter because it was a fun way to be creative within constraints.
It was like a fun project, right?
How do I say something funny or witty within this?
It was cool.
But once they told me you're banned for life,
Twitter's the only app that bans you for life.
Yeah, no, I know that. That's wild, isn't it? app that bans you for life. Yeah, no, I know that.
That's wild, isn't it?
They don't give you any chance.
No, I had a second account.
They verified it a year later.
Like, oh, that's Kirill?
Get him out of here again.
That's so wild.
Twitter is...
Oh, by the way, when I got kicked off of Slut Whisperer,
I had to start a new account.
Kirill was here.
A week after that, they verified Kirill was here.
Yeah.
I was like, what?
Why?
Like, what is this? What's point that's well like why did you
just take away a whole audience and then because because they want to control they want control
right like they like twitter is accessible i don't really like twitter as much anymore i'm not even
i'm not half as active as i should be for fan engagement is one thing that they're like oh
but you still have fans that want to like twitter i feel like it's like you're chasing the viral high
yeah twitter is just chasing the retweets.
It is.
Because otherwise you just might as well text it to your friends.
Because like if you're not getting more than three retweets, you were like.
What am I talking to?
Right.
I know that that is the issue with it.
And also like those kind of things.
Like I make that slight joke.
And really, if you want to be if you really want to get to the depths of it.
When I'm what I'm saying is when I said about that girl, when I was like, that's one way to sell more fabric.
get to the depths of it when i'm what i'm saying is when i said about that girl when i was like that's one way to sell more fabric i'm really taking a shot at calvin klein to be like jumping
on a social issue to pretend like they're the you know what i mean they're making a martyr out of
fat people it's bullshit so what i'm really doing if you had any brains the people that read it
were like that's a clever way of being like calvin klein is bullshit this is a way to be like we we
like big people too it's like and by the way this girl was obese she wasn't overweight she was obese and so i was like this is just a shot this is just a bullshit way of being
like we're we're trying to solve the problem that is beautiful is like saying salmonella is beautiful
like if i just went to like if i went if there's a commercial for like the new steakhouse and they're
like hey look at this we've got maggots in our meat like sorry like that's the way like you'd be
like gross like that's gross like we know we can
visually identify what's gross what's not i'm fat i look in the mirror it's gross like i don't like
you don't need to lie to yourself right it's like the carlin way like just change the name and
condition doesn't change the fucking condition right right like that's so true well but that's
the thing it's like now we've made i don't know if you saw this beautiful yeah until you're a fat
white guy and then they're like shut up fatso there's no when you're fat like i know this is like the fucking thing like oh like you know like fat
white guy should be able to take it we've they ran the world forever like this we're like literally
fat white people are the only people that could be made fun of and i'm okay with it yeah but you
should be able to take the shots back and i've always said that like when people like i want
equality and then you make fun of them and i'm like but that's what comes with equality is like you get some of the benefits, but
you also get to be made fun of for being another fucking participant on this globe.
100%.
Dude, the guy who plays the piano at the comedy store, Jeff, is one of the coolest motherfuckers
on earth, and he's gay, and he's talked openly about the fact that he's like, I can't believe
that people have this thing when they make fun of gay people online.
And he goes, we fought for equality
for fucking 35 years.
The fact that
I want to be equal
means I think
I'm open to be made fun of
just as much as anybody else.
Jeff, however,
lives in the world of comedy
so he's much more keen.
But that being said,
Well, he also can understand
the difference
between a joke
and just someone
just like a blanket statement.
A violent attack.
Right, yeah.
But that's my point
is if we would all be so lucky if everyone had some fucking awareness about it.
Like Jeff is the first person to make a joke.
Do you know what I mean?
So I'm like, God, if we all had this kind of cultural awareness, you're around enough people to get it that it's like part of the community of making fun of each other is part of the community.
That's why people fucking respect and like each other.
That's what we do.
We bust balls.
Yeah, that's what you do. And if they're devoid of that, right, when you don't have that in your world,
then it becomes like, oh, that's bad.
Then you become a religious extremist.
Right.
You become one of these people that gets overtly pissed about nothing at all.
But what you said is so fucking true.
It's funny.
If you want to give the shots, you should be able to take them,
regardless of your position.
That's half of the shit.
Dude, that's like when people write unfollow on like my page well they're right like you follow they're like i'm unfollowing too far like you stayed through all the bullshit
right until i probably hit some nerve and then it's like oh that went from being comedy to now
fat now he's making statements all of a sudden. It's like, what? Right.
They decide when it's over for them.
Right?
Up until then, they're okay.
And then they need to announce their departure like there's some fucking...
I'm leaving.
I'm Kevin.
Ugh, goodbye.
Like, bro, I didn't even know you were here.
Bitch, bitch, you're one of many people that I don't fucking care about.
Oh, my God.
I walk my fucking followers daily.
I know that's like an inside comedy joke.
Yeah, it is.
How many, by the way, you gain?
Do you ever look at the gain and the loss on the analytics page?
I don't have analytics because when you're private, they don't give you shit, which is so retarded.
Oh, that's wild.
They don't tell you anything.
They want you to be public.
That's why.
I have no analytics.
I can just tell you how many followers I'm gaining.
What's the advantage of being private then?
Is the idea that these people are missing out on something that they might want to see.
So like a little pro tip, as I told you before earlier, if you want to gain a faster following
and you do have content that might be more intriguing to people to see whether it's like party videos or
dumb jokes or whatever at least for me keeping it closed off gets more people trying to get in
as opposed to leaving it open and then they're like aha that was cool and then they bounce out
and they might not even follow you that's what i mean it's a great perspective it's interesting
when you said that before i was like i wonder if that's how that is for someone like me it's
different right for us for comics it's like i mean i still have parties to sell too yeah but but your content is
also unique from what you do live right your partying is different than what you put online
it's not all you put online right it's not all because i don't really like when i'm home i'm not
thinking about the parties right so it's not i'm not really posting about that like the story
on my instagram stories if i'm at a party that's where it all goes right and then my page is just
kind of like what mood i'm in whether it's just all sorts of dumb shit i find on the internet
do you have someone help you with it no it's all you yeah do you do you do uh do you fucking do
you think less of those that do have people that help them? No.
Because a lot of people that do.
Yeah, there's teams of people. There's teams that just, you know.
But that's not me.
Yeah.
I was like, I should just run a strict meme page
and just fucking get 10 million followers like all these other guys.
It might be exciting for three hours,
and then I forget about it in two days.
And it just sits there stagnant.
So it's just like, let me do me me this is my journal this is my online diary
whatever whatever is there it's like hey and we're honest dude we've made merch that sucks
like flops and i'll go on there be like guys i ordered 2 000 wine glass sets that i literally
don't know what to do with that what do you do when they can't when they can't push them oh i
just tell them honestly i'll be like i'll throw them with every order and they're like oh wow
thank you.
Like, it's just, as long as I've always found,
as long as you're honest with them,
like, they're going to stick around.
Yeah.
I feel like it's really hard to lose a following without being, like, unless you're kicked off.
I feel like it's kind of,
we're in a different generation where we can retain fans.
Right.
They can't forget you.
There's more leeway.
That's why I think, think like being some sort of
i think the term fame has been just so like as opposed to like back in the day like fame was
like like to be a household name like 20 30 40 years ago like took you really were famous yeah
i would argue though i mean like there's some rich guy
there's been a billion damn bulzarians right yeah but nobody knew the fuck they were in 1990
right there wasn't right there wasn't anyone like because that wasn't real fame but fame real fame
has just been convoluted so what i would say is like there was like when people come up like
really you're instagram famous i'm like like, bleh. That phrase is just gross.
You're recognizable is what I would say.
Yeah.
The difference is like 40 years ago.
You want to know what fame is?
If you were famous in Hollywood,
it's because you were recognized by everybody.
But now anybody can be recognized by somebody.
You can get famous for having a long neck.
That guy.
I've seen that fucking guy. He lost the genetic lottery, but then won the real lottery. recognized by somebody that's you can get famous for having a long neck yeah like that guy out of
here that fucking guy like the genetic like he lost the genetic lottery and but then won the
real lottery like is he making money on that can he monetize i mean i think that the window of
internet relevance in that kind of scene i feel like it's so like you gotta hit it like take every
club gig like take everything you can get do fucking commercials for turtlenecks i don't know
like you're literally like i would be doing everything yeah but good for that motherfucker that's what i was saying
when people i used to hate on that when i was i don't hate on that i don't care there's enough
money to go around for everyone yeah i'm just saying the word fame is like when someone's like
your instagram famous i'm like oh i don't want to really be lumped in with a guy with a long neck
yeah but that's like saying to me somebody says you know who, you know, my friend is a comedian.
You're a comedian.
You know what that does to me?
When some fucking,
when some jagoff is like,
my buddy tells jokes sometimes.
It's like,
you want to think about diminutive,
just keep this in mind.
When people say that to you,
keep this in front of your mind.
I will have somebody come up to me
who comes to a show,
who paid to fucking see me,
who typically came with someone
who actually is a fan,
and they'll go
you know i never heard of you and i'm not a big comedy fan but this this was all right
it it it's i'd rather you've not talked to me a hundred percent but i have that all the time
because you're like people don't associate what you do with skill or talent or ability they think
you just rolled out of bed a hundred percent didn't plan easy to do what you do is easy to do i could i know what my buddy tells the only person that actually successfully did that is patrice
right what that's how he started his career he heckled someone right guy goes you get up you get
up here and try better patrice went up and did 10 minutes and killed patrice was made to be a
comedic fucking he would he just was too shy to start doing it that was the problem like patrice
just didn't have the gumption.
But I'm glad that happened.
Fuck yeah.
And I'm sad he's dead.
So many other comics
should have died before him.
Way more comics.
So many guys are like,
that guy could be dead.
No one would fucking miss him.
This is the one thing
I want to touch on.
But Patrice was also not,
he's one of those comics
that became more appreciated
in his death.
Posthumously.
Yeah, because he was
really overlooked. Well, I would say he was ahead of his time. Possibly. Yeah, because he was really overlooked.
Well, I would say he was ahead of his time.
Yeah.
I think guys like...
He was also difficult to work with.
So most people, most talented people are.
Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to lie.
Like, you know, I've been more difficult to work with as time has gone on
because you become more specific about your skills.
Well, you also realize your self-worth.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Same thing.
Like, it's no longer I'm lucky to be here it's uh you're lucky to have
me sometimes i'm appreciative and i'm respectful but there's also moments of like well i don't
want to get stepped on anymore i'm tired of that shit like you get sick of kind of being put in a
place of oh yeah you don't you're lucky to be here and you're like no fuck you i could go do other
shit i'm planning a burning all bridges tour like i'm like when i'm done i'm like here you go i
actually said i was like you know it'd be great as if i just closed if i just started every party
was like i'm just gonna do stand-up for 10 minutes i'm just gonna ruin the entire night for everyone
just fuck it up that's it do snow do improv that'll really just like oh yeah got a couple
of people i'll get a few shot nothing worse than drunk improv right well you think it's hilarious
and everyone's just standing there like what long form yeah um when you this is the one thing i want to i want to touch on because i'm very curious and
you can pass you can pass on the buck if you don't want to talk about it but you have a girlfriend
you put her on the internet you guys are you guys are public about it yeah right like me i'm pretty
private with my personal life i to the fans they know my wife is the old bag i call her the old bag
that's kind of the only thing they know about her you know is like she's this mysterious creature and that's put that way on purpose some people decide
to put them put their family in or out relationships or husbands wives kids whatever
you live in the business of partying and women and all that shit right her comfort level what is it
it's pretty high she's older than me she's a year older than me she's kind of seen it all i don't
know maybe i'm just making excuses is she's pretty literally in our's older than me. She's a year older than me. She's kind of seen it all. I don't know. Maybe I'm just making excuses.
She's pretty, literally in her three years, she's might have had like three things to
be like, hey, like, can you not spit in a girl's mouth?
That's like one thing I don't want.
Oh, see, my old bag would love that.
She should be like, yeah, spit on those bitches.
Oh, no.
She's like, she's like, that's too personal.
That's like what I like.
Like, you know what I mean?
She's like, don't.
That's what you do to me.
Yeah.
She's like, that's for me.
Yeah, I get that. I get that she's like, don't. That's what you do to me. Yeah. She's like, that's for me. Yeah, I get that.
I get that.
But yeah, no real issue.
I mean.
Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty.
I try to be respectful.
I mean, it's, you know, especially in this day and age, I can't, you know, the Me Too
movement.
I try not to even fucking I hand the bottles off to as many people as I can.
I was just going to say, how much I have so many girlfriends at every party that I know
because I've been doing this for 10 years at every city.
Girls will come around and be like, can I spray champagne on her?
I'm like, be my guest.
Yeah, do it.
The less work I get to do.
I'll take photos with fans.
You go fuck it.
They want to see that anyways.
Two girls having fun with champagne.
So my fat ass doing it.
So has she ever been to a party with you?
Yeah, she's come out.
Did you meet her at a party?
Dude, I booked her 90s man for camp
without realizing,
and then we just started talking,
and then that's it.
For the first camp that you did?
For my first camp ever, yeah.
Oh, wow.
And then you stalked?
Yeah, and then she slid in my DMs.
She's like, you're all right.
She's like, hey, okay.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe she was drunk.
Take this goofy Russian Jew from Jersey.
I grow on people.
Is she a Jersey kid, too?
She's Long Island.
Oh, boy. Two different worlds. Like Marissa Tomei, Long Island. Is she a Jersey kid too? She's Long Island. Like,
thick Long Island.
Two different worlds.
Like Marissa Tomei,
Long Island.
This is a TV show.
She's from Long Island.
Yeah.
He's a Russian Jew from Jersey.
Oh my God.
And they met.
Yeah,
but like you said,
like you keep your shit very,
I've like,
I've learned that,
A,
it's good for business to say I have a girlfriend.
Sure.
Because it A, makes me less creepy.
I was just going to say, that's got to help girls' comfortability levels. Comfortable levels.
Knowing that it's not this weirdo.
And more girls will come up to me and be like, is S.A. coming tonight?
Because they became fans of her.
Because like, oh, this is like a strong chick that puts up with this shit.
And we just have fun.
Like, she's really good for what I'm doing.
Yeah, it's dope.
But you do know, you're aware of the fact that so many other women would be like, I'm
not fucking with that.
That's insane.
I don't want to do that.
So it's like, that's what's wonderful that she's cool with it.
They're all cool until they're not. so who knows i'm just telling you like they're all
i don't you know about right now right now i live in the moment like hey six years ago my ex was
really cool too right until five and a half years and then she was like i'm enough of this shit yeah
yeah the the breaking point for most of these women was what you do? Three years is usually my life.
But it's three years because of what you do, I'm saying?
Is that the breaking point or is it because of something else?
Well, yeah, I was also a piece of shit.
Sure.
Sure.
It's hard, you know?
Life is hard.
Yeah.
Life is hard.
You're being a good boy.
It gets lonely on the road.
No.
Yeah.
I'm good now.
Yeah, you're being good now.
I have to be an adult now.
You got to grow up, you feel like?
Yeah.
You got to be a guy who gets married and does all that bullshit?
I can't relate to a 21-year-old anymore. No.
Could you ever? Did you when you were 21? Dude, I just found out
what a finsta was. A what?
A finsta. Here we are. Do you know?
No. I've heard people talk.
Girls are like, oh my god, you have a finsta? I'm like, is that
like a cool... A fake Instagram. Yes. It's where
you, let's just say, you just
have an anonymous account. A lot of celebs will
do it, right? Yeah, yeah.
Where there's people will like with old Slow Whisper account,
I'd have huge athletes
come up and be like,
I love your shit.
I'm like,
don't follow me.
They're like,
I do.
They know.
There's like 40 accounts.
Yeah, the fake Instagram.
I have a good friend of mine
who has like 20 million
on her public phony Instagram,
on her corporate.
Right.
And her real one
is like 60 people or something like that. Yeah, and she just blows my fucking dirt bag. Instagram, on her corporate. And her real one is like 60 people
or something like that.
And she's just being a fucking dirtbag.
Yeah, it's awesome.
It's actually wonderful.
Just sending you racist memes.
Yep, yep, yep.
It is so funny to see what goes on there
versus what goes on the other one.
You're always like...
And then public image.
And sometimes they post things
at the same day, at the same time.
And you're like,
that was for my makeup line.
This is for my...
This is for my clan meeting.
Got my hood washed. know oh my god uh
it is fun to see that kind of shit well that's good though you got a good one man you hold on
to her until fucking she uh gets ready that's crazy yeah until she loses it on you and finds
out that she wants something else but whatever man fuck it fuck it it's hard is it hard having
a wife in comedy no dude honestly it's the opposite I think
it keeps
do you think it's easier
than it used to be
this whole world
makes comedy more accessible
without having a
I mean obviously
the road life
and you still gotta do stand up
but like
podcasting really opened up
an avenue for comedians
A to make
a shit ton of money
and speak to an audience
without having to go
to their town
this is great
because I'm not filtered
I can do what I want.
I can talk to people who I fucking like, who I'm interested in.
There isn't a...
This is not a job that I'm bummed about doing.
For a long time, we have to do gigs that we're bummed about doing.
A lot of comedy is like, I don't want to go to that city.
I don't want to play that fucking club.
This is something you want to do?
I want to do this. You don't have to be miserable to be a comedian like want to play that fucking club I don't want to This is something you want to do This is the gig I want to do
You don't have to be miserable
To be a comedian
Like they said you have to be
Nah it's bullshit
You can be damaged
But now you don't have to be miserable
We're all fucked up
We're all fucked up
I realized you didn't have to do it
When I heard that back in the day
Jim Brewer made Sirius
Build a studio in his house in Jersey
So he could be with his family
And still do his radio show
100%
And I was like you know what
That's fucking dope
Yeah
Like it's cool to see someone
Be able to balance it Without it being toxic Like it's look it's hard there's no doubt but
but the old bag isn't a part of the business which is great like i would never there's a good comic
friend of mine you ever dated a comedian no dude no my buddy al magical says uh there's one headshot
per household that's his rule it's like fuck that shit one headshot per household dude that when
there's one headshot per household oh one head me one headshot per household one headshot one headshot per household like two actors together fucking bullshit it's
never a real thing like two two people is there anything worse two actors no no no no no then like
uh like a like i couldn't imagine um being married to a female comic i would argue no matter who you
are no matter what job you do around this fucking world,
if your significant other does the same thing,
that relationship is doomed.
I don't care what business is.
I don't care what industry.
Because there's got to be resentment and jokes and success.
100%. And then it becomes like, oh, well, it's because of this
and because of that.
And there's no more validity of, hey,
maybe I'm just writing better material.
Right.
See, that's tough because relationships are all about-
You can't tell your wife like, I don't know, maybe I'm just better at this than you. Yeah, bitch, I'm stronger than you material right see that's tough because relationships are you can't tell your wife like i don't know maybe i'm just better at this than yeah bitch i'm stronger
than you yeah that's what happens and by the way look at those guys that are successful look at
like the acting world of that like uh chris pratt was married to what's her name there and and she
was made more famous than him and in a moment he got famous famous he was like i gotta rock dude
i'm out she's awesome what was her name anna ferris anna ferris she's so funny right she's
dope but he got famous he wasn't famous with the. Right. She's dope. But he got famous.
He wasn't famous.
He was the fat guy in Parks and Rec.
And then he got famous.
Right. And then he peaced out.
And when he got famous, he was like, bye.
He was like, I got to start fucking real famous pussy.
Yeah, dude.
He got out.
Yeah.
So I'm just saying, when you do the same thing, the competition is too rich.
There's no way.
Lucy and Ricky.
Perfect example.
Yeah, bro.
It doesn't work.
It was insane.
And even their TV relationship was a mock-up of what was going on yeah it was fucking wild um dude thank you i uh i appreciate you
coming through thanks for having me i'm gonna i'm gonna put all your shit down here your shit i
don't know what i just you said everything great it was wonderful yeah we loved it did you like it
bro i wish we could have cut away to him going it was good it was fucking was fucking fun. I'm going to put all your shit in the description below.
I'm going to put ways that people can find you.
The camp is so dope.
I think that's phenomenal.
You do it from May to what?
No.
What is it?
It's only one weekend.
I only do it.
Oh, it's one weekend.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's Father's Day weekend.
Hilarious.
Which ironically, most people are attending.
Yeah.
Probably don't have one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's carillscamp.com.
Okay, great.
That's where tickets are.
I think it's still at the second tier.
Are you touring right now?
I don't have a real...
Right, but are you going out?
People just call and they're like,
you want to come get drunk here for some money?
And you're like, yeah, all right.
Do you line up dates way in advance?
Yeah, I do, but I'm like the last minute kid too.
A lot of clubs love bringing me in.
I help clubs pull out of a slump.
I've been known for that.
Right.
When the club's doing great,
they're like,
we need Kirill for it's fucking cranking.
Right.
Like,
all right.
And then the club starts like go a little down.
They're like bringing Kirill.
Like,
because what I'll do is I pull out people from the,
under the rocks.
Right.
Who've never been to this nightclub.
And they're like,
Oh,
I'll go see what Kirill's up to.
And so the club just gains like a new fan base because they're like, they're like, oh, I'll go see what Kirill's up to. And so the club just gains a new fan base
because they're like,
every club I've gone to, they're like,
we've never seen these people before in our lives.
They're like, where did you find them?
They're like, I've been doing parties in this town
for 20 years.
They're like, I didn't know they lived here.
You bring them out of the woodwork.
Yeah, people just show up, and it's the best.
It's just characters. I love characters.
When people are like, I'm too ugly to get into your parties, I'm it's the best. It's just characters. I love characters. When people are like,
I'm not,
I'm too ugly to get into your parties.
I'm like,
please come here.
Right.
Like,
that's why we have alcohol.
I'm ugly too.
Like,
what do you,
this isn't like,
that should be the tour.
I'm ugly too.
I'm ugly too.
Oh,
I might,
the name of this tour that I tried to like,
basically called is like,
I'm going to kill myself if nobody shows up.
Like,
this is just,
that's it.
Yeah, it's great. I'm going to write my fans into coming.. That's it. Yeah, it's great.
I'm going to write my fans into coming like,
you want to lose this?
I just bought a gun.
Just post that shit on Instagram.
Just like, oh, come do some shots.
I'll post that in the description
so you guys can see where he is next.
I highly recommend it.
Follow him online.
He has great fucking content.
He's a good dude.
I like him a lot.
He's a friend of the family.
Thank you.
Here's what we like to do to end the episode.
I'm going to get off camera.
I want you to look straight in the camera.
You can either say one word or a phrase.
So it's got to be a phrase or a word.
Not like a big thing.
Just make it either one word or a phrase.
About what?
Just anything?
Whatever the fuck you want, man.
Just whatever you want.
You just say it directly in the camera.
What did you say?
Bomb?
In here, we pour whiskey.
Whiskey.
Whiskey.
Whiskey.
Whiskey.
You are that creature in the ginger beer.
Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Gingers are beautiful.
You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the whore. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. ginger i like gingers