Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Lamorne Morris & Kyle Shevrin
Episode Date: March 22, 2024Lamorne Morris is an American actor, comedian, and television personality, widely recognized for his role as Winston Bishop in the popular television series "New Girl." His performance in "New Girl" s...howcased his comedic timing and versatility, earning him a place in the hearts of audiences worldwide. Beyond "New Girl," Morris has expanded his career into movies, voice acting, and hosting, demonstrating his range and dedication to his craft. Along with Kyle Shevrin they have a new podcast called "The Lamorning After" available now! #andrewsantino #lamornemorris #kyleshevrin #whiskeyginger #podcast ====================================================== SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS RABBITHOLE $5 OFF YOUR ORDER https://rabbitholedistillery.com/buynow USE PROMO CODE: RABBIT MANDO $5 OFF YOUR ORDER https://shopmando.com USE PROMO CODE: WHISKEY LUCY 20% OFF YOUR 1ST ORDER & FREE SHIPPING https://lucy.co/whiskey PROMO CODE: WHISKEY SQUARESPACE Get that site up and running now! 10% off your order https://squarespace.com/whiskey ======================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Whiskey Ginger fans, welcome back to the show, or welcome to the show, depending on who you are, where you're coming from, I'm glad to have you.
I am on tour. You gotta come see me. We added some dates.
I'm in Houston starting next week, March 29th and 30th, Houston.
Then I'm in Tampa. Then I'm in Phoenix. Then I go to Nashville, Tennessee.
Then I go to Dallas, and then I finally finish up this little joke run in San Francisco.
Working on my brand new hour.
I'm excited to come see you guys.
Dallas and San Francisco shows are just being added as we speak because they both are sold
out.
So Dallas and San Francisco shows being added.
Houston, Tampa, Phoenix, and Nashville.
Can't wait to see you guys as well.
Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets.
andrewsantino.com.
Enough rambling.
Let's go over to the episode.
AndrewSantino.com.
Enough rambling.
Let's go over to the episode.
In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.
You're that creature in the ginger beard.
Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Gingers are beautiful.
You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.
Gingers are hell no.
This whiskey is owned by China.
We'll cut to a Chinese sponsor.
Will you guys just say you're good with this?
Yep.
We'll just do it now.
Here we go. wait dude what that's from my chinese sponsor i have to read i have to read an ad for them
i don't buy it well you don't have to buy it because you're getting one free when you leave today.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
Boys, I didn't even do a proper introduction, but it doesn't matter because we've been rolling.
Why don't you introduce yourselves on your single camera there?
Introduce your show.
Go ahead.
You do it.
I'd like you to take it away.
Ladies and gentlemen, right now on camera with you is Lamorne Morris.
You may have seen me in something.
This is Kyle Chevron. i'll let you do that um our podcast is called the little morning after for obvious reasons but um yeah thank you for tuning in kyle thank dude great intro um yeah
check us out we just kind of started we're like four episodes deep and uh we're having a lot of
fun doing it so how did you guys link up?
Ooh, 2013, 2014, something like that? Yeah, it's like a decade ago.
Yeah, 2013.
What was the moment?
Laurel Hardware.
We were at a bar.
One of my favorites.
That's why you pick everybody up.
Yeah, literally.
We ain't fucking nothing like that.
No.
If we were to do anything,
he'd be making love.
He's pretty good looking.
Yeah, you would make love.
We would make love.
We met at Laurel Hardware. You know, that place is still open, or still has a patio,
in part because of my wife.
Really?
We used to live in the neighborhood. I lived on Laurel for years, my first West Hollywood
apartment, and we used to go there all the time, way back in the day and get a buzz button.
Are you familiar with the buzz button?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, exactly. And one day
we heard through the grapevine that they were getting
complaints from the neighbors and there was a petition
to the city to shut down their patio
because it was just too noisy at night. There's a building
right behind that alleyway. They wanted
people that are patrons and local neighborhood
goers and blah, blah, blah to
submit a letter. And my wife was one of the
people that submitted a letter to the city
saying, we need patios in Los Angeles.
We don't have enough outdoor space in LA.
It's important to the culture of the city
to keep it organic.
And West Hollywood is very much this kind of vibe.
And they kept that patio open
because of people like me.
Let's go.
Thank you to her.
You guys are welcome.
Yeah, thank you to her.
You guys are welcome.
But I haven't been there in a while.
We didn't meet in the patio either. Okay we met at the bar one second it was in
the barn dude uh hold on let's edit this and will you just say we met on the patio just for the sake
of the show fuck me so you guys met at laurel hardware where in the bar oh yeah on the patio
no but uh yeah okay okay dude let's just just let's try it again let's try it again because Yeah. On the patio. No. Okay.
Okay, dude.
Let's try it again.
Let's try it again.
Because I'm really good at it. Yeah, try it again.
Let's try it again.
So you guys met where?
We were at the patio.
Oh, at Laurel Hardware.
No.
Yeah.
Yes?
Yeah.
Yeah, the patio at Laurel Hardware.
Thanks, Kyle.
Yeah.
Dude, you're really making this hard on me.
Honestly, I haven't been on a team in a while.
We'll get back in the seat. It's really
stressful for me. Because you're... Look,
are you an actor as well?
No, I'm behind the camera. You're just smart.
Writing and directing. You're an intelligent man.
Did you guys meet and you decided you wanted
to work on projects together or was this just a friendship?
Yeah, no. So I
was there alone at Laurel Hardware.
I can see that. Great start.
Fishing? Were you fishing?
You fishing for something?
And yeah, I saw him.
He sat next to me, and we started talking.
And now that I think about it, I realize basically that's what Jeffrey Dahmer did.
He just went up to random black dudes at bars, and then they would kill them.
You're Dahmer-esque.
Yeah. I've got gotta take these off no
no leave them on man leave them on i want you to be able to see us um but yeah we started talking
and then um he was actually like oh you got to meet my other buddy who i've been writing with
for a while if they kind of he deems you funny enough then like we could start working together
and we went from like music videos to like tv shows to films and it got bigger and bigger
that's wild.
Yeah, man.
And then that night, though, did you continue on?
Was it like a we're going to drink all night, party all night type of thing?
I don't think so.
You were with some people, weren't you?
Yeah, I think I was meeting some people there, and then he kind of stopped my flow.
What was it about this guy that interested you and him so much?
That was the first time someone, because usually at that point, fans would come up to me and ask for a photo
or something like that.
This was the first time
someone was like,
dude, I'm a writer
and I just moved here
and so I'm willing to
just kind of assist
or help out whenever I can.
And I thought,
oh, that's cool
because I hadn't had that.
It was just,
if I wasn't filming something,
I was trying to create something
and I'm not the strongest at that.
You know what I mean?
I'm not going to lie to you.
Are you shooting anything now?
Are you working?
Yeah.
So, well, I'm like a day,
a couple days away
from shooting SNL 1975.
It's this movie about...
The first season of SNL?
Yeah.
First episode.
First episode, yeah.
I'm playing Garrett Morris.
You're not going to let me get that out, huh?
You weren't going to let me have a shot at making a joke at all about anything?
I mean, I didn't know you were going to go.
You're not going to be Chevy Chase.
Who's playing Chevy Chase?
Who is playing Chevy Chase?
Doesn't he say the N-word?
So Chevy Chase apparently-
He says the N-word on the first episode.
Am I crazy?
Bunch of sketches.
He says it.
I mean, he just drops it like crazy.
So who's going to be Chevy?
Do you know?
Michael, why am I forgetting his name?
Tall dude.
Tall, handsome fella.
I can look it up.
Fassbender?
Yeah.
I wish.
Looks like a Fassbender role.
Hugh Jackman's in the movie.
Yeah, Hugh Jackman, J.K. Simmons, Finn Wolfhard.
Who's playing Lorne?
Gabe LaBelle.
Gabe LaBelle played a young Spielberg in The Fablemans.
Who's playing Gilda Radner?
Ooh, yeah, I gotta get this list.
I'm looking at that. That's awesome, though.
Who's doing the movie? Dylan O'Brien. Chevy Chase
is Corey Michael Smith. Corey Michael Smith.
Yeah. Corey Michael Smith,
Dylan O'Brien's playing Dan Aykroyd.
Ella Hunt is Gilda.
Ella Hunt. Yeah. Wow, this
is gonna be great. Yeah, man.
Who's doing this again? Jason Reitman. Never heard of him. Yeah. Wow, this is going to be great. Yeah, man. Who's doing this again? Jason Reitman.
Never heard of him.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
But what's, dude, is it for film or is it for the...
It's for film.
So it's for the theaters.
Yeah, it's for the theaters.
Son of a bitch, dude.
I know.
Dude, we watched Ricky Snicky, dude.
It's so funny, bro.
It's so fucking good, man.
Oh, thank you, dude.
Not in the theater, of course, because Amazon Prime didn't want to do it.
I don't know why.
That felt like one of those movies when we were watching it.
Like, oh, this is a theater film.
We watched it in the theater this past weekend in New York.
And man, in the middle of it, my mom was like, because I took my mom.
My wife couldn't come.
And my mom, I was like, you know what, Ma?
Fly out to New York.
And so she was my date.
And she was sitting next to me.
And she goes, everyone should see this in the movie theater.
And I was like, I know. Because see this in the movie theater and I was like
I know
because it does have
big movie elements
where you're like
this is such an obvious theater
it felt like a
it's Fairly
so it felt like
a Fairly Brothers
from the 90s comedy
that you went to theater
and watched
and I just
you know whatever
you shot that in Australia
in Melbourne yeah
this is the new world though man
like
how cool that that's
going to be in the theaters
because it's so hard to get shit on the big screen anymore.
Yeah, I know.
But Reitman can get it done, I'm sure.
Oh, 100%.
Who's the studio behind it?
Who's the fucking studio behind it?
You guys know.
I don't know.
I'm listening to all the right questions, really,
but no answers.
Yeah, that's fine.
I read the script.
I show up.
Do you read it all the way?
Do you read it all the way?
I do.
I do.
I do a thorough character analysis, I like to believe.
You know what I mean?
And it's probably too much, because sometimes I'll know a lot about another character, and
when I see them performing it in a way, I'll kind of go, that's not what you should be
doing.
Yeah, Akron wouldn't do that.
What about, have you met with Garrett?
Yeah, dude.
So I met with him over Zoom a couple of times, and then I presented him an award at the ABFF,
a legacy award, me and Leslie Jones, and he had no idea.
And this dude started tearing up, which was a really cool experience.
They didn't tell him he was getting a Lifetime Achievement Award?
No, they told him he was getting an award, but they didn't tell him that it was being presented by anyone they were just like
oh we're gonna honor you at this thing oh he thinks it's gonna be like congrats yeah you're
right right right yeah but it was uh it was again myself and leslie jones and she's wild she's crazy
so that was fun yeah did she did she she went off did she grab him physically no he grabbed me a
few times physically the moment we got on stage, she started going,
God motherfucking Morris!
She will bully you.
She's good at that.
She's so funny, though, man.
She's very good at physically assaulting.
She's assaulted me many times.
Oh, yeah?
Really?
Yeah, but I approve.
It was fun.
Yeah, I've known her for so long.
Growing up in the comedy store with her was like,
she loved fucking with me.
I think, look, I think she has a crush on me, if I'm being honest.
Probably.
I think for a long time.
She always called me her little creamsicle.
Well I think that's a sign.
Is it?
Yeah.
Put that creamsicle right up there.
Oh, that's what it is.
Yeah, that shape.
Oh, that's what it is.
Yeah, that shape with that red top.
Guys who have no idea.
Yeah.
On the rocket pop. I'm the rocket pop.
The rocket pop.
I'm the rocket pop.
What was your favorite one of those as a kid?
What was your favorite ice cream truck?
The push pop?
The push pop?
I like push pop.
Oh, you're a push pop kid?
We used to beat the shit out of that kid.
Wait, why?
Because it's so phallic in its execution.
Is it called the hand
oh the one with the gumball
at the bottom
no
oh the baseball glove
with the gumball
yeah
that one's cool
oh no the screwball
it's called the screwball
the cone one
that's right
that's good
that one was fire
I hated the sherbert
the orange sherbert push one
couldn't stand it
I didn't like
I never liked sherbert at all
sherbert had no business
in my ice cream truck
I didn't get it
I'm a choco taco guy
really loved the choco taco
when that came out that kind of changed the game before that it was ice cream truck. I didn't get it. I'm a Choco Taco guy. Really loved the Choco Taco. When that came out, that kind of changed the game.
Before that, it was ice cream sandwich me forever.
Yeah.
That's one of my favorites.
Because ice cream sandwiches, you can't go wrong.
No.
Sometimes, the ice cream gets old, and it gets the crystals on it,
and it kind of changes some of the flavors.
Ice cream sandwich, that doesn't happen.
I don't know if that smushy, beautiful bread keeps it protected we trust it then because the crystallization
is a sign that oh right yeah but dude we're all gonna die i mean what does it matter i mean we're
gonna get something everyone's gonna get cancer dude yeah you're gonna get a you're gonna get
something like i'm reading this book about warren zeevon do you know him the no do you know him uh
guitar player he was a musician he is unfortunately some of his most
famous songs are probably some of my least favorite but like werewolves of london you know
that yeah that's warren but um i'm reading this book by his wife i do this because it's obnoxiously
large by his wife and uh the crazy shit about this guy was he was like a tumultuous alcoholic
like he had so
so many like
ups and downs
with the disease
for years
for like decades
and then the guy
fucking dies of mesothelioma
that's
see I thought
that disease was made up
cause I saw it
you would see it
late night on those
infomercials
between Family Feud
and whatever's next
you got mesothelioma
no I don't
no I don't have this shit.
They can't even pronounce it.
It's from people
in the 70s and 80s
got it from asbestos.
They found direct connections.
That's why all those
legal shows are,
you see all those like,
do you have Mesothelioma?
Call this law firm
because all these companies
are handing out checks
because they proved
that it was from
asbestos in buildings.
Oh, dude,
all these buildings
in California
had them for years.
Fuck me.
This one does for sure.
I made him leave it.
I said leave it in. For a future lawsuit. Yeah, dude. I want buildings in California had them for years. Fuck me. This one does for sure. I made him leave it. I said leave it in.
For a future lawsuit.
Yeah.
I want my kids to get paid.
You got to get paid, bro.
No, yeah.
It's from asbestos.
How crazy though to think, as I read that in the book, I thought, how fucked?
If an alcohol-related illness came of it, he would have probably accepted his fate a
little bit more.
Yeah.
But to die from lung infections from asbestos when you were kids.
Yeah.
That right there.
Well, you know,
that mesothelioma
as a child,
all that poisoning
probably turned him
into an alcoholic.
He just didn't know it.
There you go.
Fucks with your brain patterns.
Or a great musician.
That's true.
That's true.
CTE.
Do you guys have musical skill?
Are you skilled at all?
Let me play you a beat.
Yes!
Wow.
Thanks.
Wow.
Thanks.
Are you trained?
Trained by God.
God bless.
Jesus Christ loves you.
It's actually unfair.
He's really good at singing, actually.
I know you are.
And I've seen some of the stuff with Rick,
because we're both good buddies with Rick.
And I've seen what you've done over there. I know you are, and I've seen some of the stuff with Rick, because we're both good buddies with Rick, and I've seen what you've done
over there,
and you know.
Yes, classic all-time shit.
My vocal quality is,
you know.
It's okay.
It's pretty much up there.
It's okay.
If I wanted to get nominated
for something,
you know what I'm saying,
like a Grammy,
musically, in podcast,
in the podcast space,
musically, I'm up there.
Yeah, you would win something,
but in the real world,
no, not at all. Well, technically, the real world is, musically, I'm up there. Yeah, you would win something. But in the real world, no.
Not at all.
Well, technically, the real world is.
I mean, we are in it.
Technically.
Says who?
Technically.
Says who?
Plugged in.
Yeah, I'm plugged in.
He plugged in, daddy.
I'm tapped in, daddy.
Could you ever win an EGOT then?
You hypothetically could if you can.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because the Tony, that's easy.
That's easy.
Let me get on stage.
Fuck it up.
Let me TV.
I should have already won an Emmy.
You don't have an Emmy?
No, I should have.
What a loser.
Yeah, I'm a ho.
Dude, what a loser.
I'm a ho.
I get it.
You do, but not only have I never, I've never won anything.
I've never been even remotely close, which actually makes me feel good.
Well, because here's the thing about it.
It's so strange because you have millions of fans, and you clearly keep working at a high level, and you don't win any awards.
It's like, do I care?
No.
There's an Oscar curse, for example, when folks win the Oscars, all of a sudden they murder somebody in the car.
Right, right, right.
They go to prison for life.
I never got the appeal.
The Oscars was the other day, and I was on a plane.
I just never – I don't know, man.
I know that sounds blasphemous to the business because people are like – I get it, but that never – for some reason, I never. Also, that gives me anxiety.
That thing makes me so anxious on the inside.
I don't like events.
Like, the premiere gives me so much anxiety.
I don't know what it is.
No, here's the only reason why I would love to, like, win an Oscar or an Emmy.
Maybe more.
Both.
But here's the only reason why.
Because I know sitting in that crowd, Beyonce's probably there.
Meryl Streep.
You know what I mean?
Those two people.
Zoe Kravitz.
Zoe Kravitz, yeah.
Zoe Kravitz.
They're watching me in all my glory.
Right.
I'm going to go out there in tight pants.
Right.
Dick print.
What are we talking?
Bulging.
Leather?
I do a leather.
Yeah, leather pants?
Yeah, I do a nice...
And what about a shirt with no undershirt?
Like a jacket with no undershirt?
You know what?
I'll go belly out.
Like a little crop top? Yeah, got them know what? I'll go belly out. Ooh.
Like a little crop top?
Yeah, got them abs going.
Are you going to shave your chest?
Do you have a hairy chest?
I already shaved it.
You did?
Yeah.
Do you shave it for me?
No, I didn't shave it for you.
I shaved it for a fitness shoot.
Did you shave it for me?
So you did it for me?
I'm not going to lie to you, yeah.
Thank you.
Because then we're polar opposites.
I believe you have a hairy chest.
It's so funny.
I don't at all.
Really?
No hair.
Really?
Hairless?
I'm like, I mean, first of all, I mean, you know, you can see the arms don't have much,
but look, there's nothing there.
Wow.
What the fuck are you talking about?
You are a goddamn werewolf.
No, there's a little hair down here, but not on my chest.
Look at all.
I mean, my tits.
My tits have some.
That's what the chest is.
The tits.
No, no, no, no, no.
You're talking hairy Italian.
Yeah, that's pretty bare.
The Cuban's got something.
Don't you, Cuban?
Yeah, that's what you're talking about.
You got that uncle chest.
Yeah, see, women love that.
And the traps.
They love to run their little fingers through your little chest hair, right?
They like that.
It's maintenance.
There's maintenance that goes with it.
I just shaved mine and my arms.
For health and fitness?
Yeah, for a shoot.
Wow.
Yeah, bro.
This is where we are in our lives.
You're a 40-year-old, in shape, sex symbol.
I'm doing Golf Digest next week.
Well, that's great. That's exactly where we are. Are you a scratch gol a 40-year-old in shape, sex symbol. I'm doing Golf Digest next week. That's exactly where we are.
Are you a scratch golfer? I'm not a scratch golfer.
No, but I'm good.
I'm like a 2-2 index.
That's good.
We're trying to get better at golf.
We're very bad.
Yes, I can tell.
There's something about it.
We look the part, though. No, you don't. There's something about it. We look the part, though.
No, you don't.
There's something I know. I can tell with golfers the way they walk.
Your gait means a lot.
My gait means a lot?
Your gait means a lot.
Oh.
And the way...
Your gait means a lot to you.
You can do whatever you want with him.
But your gait means a lot.
The way you walk, I can tell who's a good golfer.
You know what?
People are surprised by my swing, though.
Every once in a while, I'll surprise somebody and have
the smoothest stroke possible. Well, you're a good athlete,
but I'll
say this. Your
bar dart game? Impressive.
Shuffleboard?
Pretty good, not bad.
Your pickleball is good.
Your tennis is intermediate.
Basketball, surprisingly, not good at all.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not good at all. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not good at all.
Whoa, whoa.
You're about to walk off.
He's about to walk off.
I know, I know.
Whoa.
Okay, let's just clear the record for a second.
Basketball probably is your worst sport.
Basketball is probably my top.
Yeah, I know.
I know it is.
I know.
It's my top sport.
Yeah, I know.
It's my top sport.
We played against each other.
Yeah.
And also, you will post videos of yourself online, and you're pretty smooth.
Mm-hmm.
You're pretty good.
Look, you're pretty good.
I beat Lethal Shooter.
You did?
Yeah.
Wow.
Horse.
Fuck you, bitch.
Whooped his ass.
He didn't want to post that online.
Let's do a real conversation about Horse.
Once you get to E, do you get a second shot on E?
It depends on the rules.
I feel like this is where you grew up.
Because some people don't do second shot on E.
You know what I'm talking about.
No, I don't do second shot.
I don't do second shot.
You're out.
Once you hit E, it's over.
Yeah, you're done.
Right.
See, I played kids that sometimes once you're on E, you miss, you get one more.
It's like a mercy shot.
It's a mercy shot, yeah.
I bet you the fans were going to comment about who did mercy shots in their neighborhood
and who didn't because it was always a point of contention.
Some people would be like, that's not that you don't.
And other people are like, we've always done that.
We always did a mercy shot.
Yeah, never.
When I was growing up, we didn't have that.
No mercy shots for you.
No mercy.
I'm from the south side of Chicago.
Yeah, they don't.
Well, they just kill you when you lose.
And in Jersey, where you grew up.
Yeah.
What's like, what was your, because the east coast is like a lot of lacrosse and hockey and all.
Did you do that shit?
Dude, I tried indoor lax for one day.
Yeah.
And it was horrible.
Did you get smoked?
Is that why?
Yeah, I was way smaller then.
I grew eight inches overnight in one night.
Did you really? Yeah. You're like Scottie Pippen. Yeah. You know that he grew like in overnight in one night. Did you really?
Yeah. You're like Scottie Pippen?
You know that he grew in college five inches in the summer?
Yeah, dude. It can happen.
I played basketball, soccer. Those are
my big sports. Soccer.
Yeah. I love soccer.
I'm never good. No, I couldn't do it.
I was supposed to be good at soccer.
My father played
soccer overseas. Oh, Pele. Your dad was Pele. No, I wish my dad was Pele. Wouldn's like my father, my father played soccer overseas.
Oh, Pele.
Your dad was Pele.
No, I wish my dad was Pele.
Wouldn't that be nice?
That'd be so sweet.
That'd be so sweet. Your father played soccer overseas?
My father played,
he played in,
I'm going to say Ghana.
He played in Nigeria maybe as well.
He,
he played,
he was part of the Belize national team.
And so,
Are you fucking serious?
Yeah.
I've never,
I don't know this.
That's insane.
Is that public knowledge you've talked about
I don't know if I've ever
talked about
maybe
I don't think I've ever
talked about it
because he passed away
in June
this past June
but I hadn't seen him
since I was 8
right
like a good dad
like a good dad
a good dad doesn't want
to see you
for a long long time
yeah
he went out
he went out the door
for cigarettes
no he went out
for soccer cleats
yeah
he went out for soccer cleats and couldn't find them.
He's still looking for them.
So the Belize national team.
The Belize national team.
So we grew up playing.
He would train us, me and my brother.
Wow.
And we played in the south side of Chicago.
So me and my brother, my brother was eighth grade, I was seventh grade.
And we were both captains of the soccer team.
And we were cleaning up until we played against the Mexican school.
Yeah, forget about it.
These motherfuckers had mustaches and they were mopping us.
That was the moment I was like, this shit ain't for me.
You can beat a bunch of white kids,
but those Mexican kids come in, it's over.
It's game over.
Soccer is the only sport that, if you know how to play,
you can beat black people in it.
Because we played at other Southside teams
and you could tell the other kids that were
on the soccer field didn't really want to be there.
Yeah.
They were like, this is just in between football and basketball.
Right.
And for me, I was like, yo, this is my life.
Right.
Yeah.
And again, when I got to that mustache school, oh my God.
It's over.
They mopped us.
Any, yeah, any Latin descent is going to have soccer as their primary grew up with it all because all of us
in the states like i said regional hockey up north everyone plays football and basketball
in the midwest in the south it's all football you know what i mean it's like you're gonna get
regional that's what you grew up with anywhere you go latin influence they're gonna fucking play
soccer as their number one sport and then they're probably going to be real good at it and you look
at you look at like when i was growing up soccer was kind of making its way in the 90s because
we're the same age are you the same age 33 young bitch i know sorry that's my parents i don't know
what to tell you when they had dude what a loser what do your knees feel good right now my parents. I don't know what to tell you. Oh, dude. What a loser. What, do your knees feel good right now?
My parents, that's when they did sex.
So annoying, dude.
Go back and talk about it.
In here, we pour whiskey.
Hey, warm weather is back, baby.
I cannot wait to get in my little Daisy Dukes and skimpy around my neighborhood and show off for the boys.
But when the weather gets warmer, it leads to a funkier stink.
You got a little stink downstairs by the pink.
You got to grab some Mando whole body deodorant and nip that body odor in the bud.
Put it on your pits, on your package, on your feet, on your hands, on your back, on your butt.
You want whole body freshness, baby.
From the makers of Lume deodorant, Mando is clinically proven to work hard all day long.
Instead of covering up BO with heavy fragrances, Mando stops odor at the source,
stopping the stink from happening in the first place.
Okay?
This stuff is great.
They sent me some Mando, and I got to tell you, Mando did it for this man.
Oh!
It's so good.
Created by a doctor who saw firsthand how normal BO was just being misdiagnosed, mistreated, and masked.
Nobody wants to mask smell, okay?
Take care of it.
Mando is aluminum-free, baking soda-free, cruelty-free, dye-free, and vegan.
Do, do, do, do, do, do.
Take that.
Clinically proven to control odor better than a shower with soap alone.
Twelve hours after a shower, the average man's grundle odor level was a 5 out of 10.
With Mando, the average grundle odor is a 0 out of 10.
Huh?
Don't make it stink by your pink.
You got to use some Mando, my friends.
Mando Starter Pack is perfect for new customers.
It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant,
two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes,
and free shipping.
This stuff is great. It smells delicious. I feel cleaner, and my whole body looks smoother and
sexier than ever, knowing that my smell is under control. Luckily, I have a discount code to help
you get hooked with my favorite smelling whole body deodorant on the market. New customers get
five bucks off a starter pack with our exclusive code that equates to over 40% off your starter pack. Use code whiskey at shopmando.com.
Shopmando.com.
That's S-H-O-P-M-A-N-D-O.com.
It's time to smell better naked.
Your partner will thank you.
This episode of Whiskey Junior is brought to you by Rabbit Hole Distillery
and their one and only Kentucky bourbon and rye whiskeys.
I've talked about these cats for quite a long time now because I'm a big supporter.
Behind Rabbit Hole is their founder, Kaveh Zemanian.
Shout out to this cat.
All right, fastest to ever get inducted in the Kentucky Bourbon Hall of Fame.
Pretty impressive, to say the least.
Boxer Grail is what I've been sipping on.
That's that rye whiskey.
I know I've said on the show a lot of people don't say they're rye guys.
This stuff is great because it's small batch.
A lot of people say they're small batch, but they ain't.
Okay?
Rabbit Hole is small batch.
They're pulling from under 15 barrels at a time.
That is truly small batch if you know anything about bourbon.
It's a perfect gift, or it's perfect to gift yourself.
Treat yourself.
Each expression is made from one of a kind personal recipes with specially malted grains.
They've got the Cave Hill Four Grain Triple Malt.
That's the OG, the high gold, high rye, double malt bourbon.
Say that 10 times fast.
And Boxer Grail Sour Mash Rye, which I really have started to enjoy.
But one of the new favorites is the Derringer.
That's the PX Sherry Finished Bourbon.
That's finished in Pedro Jimenez Sherry casks, all right, from España.
Their renowned cascanola Coprage.
I don't know how to say it, but you know what?
It's delicious and incredible.
They got flavors of dried fruit, sweet berry wine.
It's going to have you falling in love.
You've got to try Rabbit Hole if you haven't already.
I've talked about them enough because I believe in these cats.
They're doing something great.
They've got four different whiskey expressions.
I've been sipping on that rye.
Go to rabbitholedistillery.com slash buy now.
rabbitholedistillery.com slash buy now. rabbitholddistillery.com
slash buy now. Use the promo code RABBIT for $5
off your first order. Please drink up
responsibly and enjoy.
Ginger.
I like gingers.
By the way, when you said that, your old man was in your life as a kid
and then what? He dipped out at some point?
Yeah, he got deported. He got deported?
Yeah, drugs, man. Really?
My dad did drugs. Really? Yeah, but my dad went to prison. A little, man. Really? Drugs, yeah. My dad did drugs.
Really?
Yeah, but my dad went to prison.
Oh, yeah.
A little bit cooler.
I'm not going to lie.
A little bit cooler.
Well, they were tired of my dad in prison.
So they were like, let's just send him back home.
Get him back home.
Let's just get him back home.
Yeah, my dad jumped around a couple of prisons.
Wanted to check them all out.
He wanted to check them all out.
He checked out a few of them.
It's pretty good.
What's your adversary looking like?
How much yard time y'all get?
Did your dad call you from prison? Did you get those
calls? No. See, I remember those
calls. Those were funny. Yeah, I mean,
I had family members who would do that. They would call you from prison.
Collect call? Collect call, or they
would reach out to other people.
They'd reach out to other people to call you.
Oh, that's smart. Right, to get more time.
My mom picked up on it. I've told this story,
but my mom picked up when my dad used to call and go,
you have a collect call from Cook County Prison inmate 485223 from,
and then they would give you, you say your name.
Yeah, yeah.
But he realized my mother would turn down the call sometimes.
Yeah.
So he would just put the message of what he wanted to say in the space
where he was supposed to say her name.
He was extremely smart.
I've had that before, too.
I was like, that's very good.
I don't know if he learned that from somebody or that was like became common culture because you knew some things just weren't
going to get through hey man go ahead and send me 50 i mean i love you i thought you were gonna say
he changed his name and i'm like well how many inmates is your mom receiving calls from you don't
know about my mom's history i don't know i don't know yeah no yeah we right it was soon as i heard
cook county prison but it was also like i think he did that in the event that we would both pick up the phone
in the days when you could have multiple people on one phone.
Yeah.
And pick up the phone and hear it.
I think that's what he was trying to get through.
Remember those 1-800-COLLECT commercials?
Oh, my God.
Dude, those were fire.
With Damon Wayans.
Yeah, Damon.
Yeah.
Yep.
1-800-COLLECT.
That was the shit, too.
But I wasn't old enough to really benefit from that
meaning like i wasn't in the streets and needing a ride home when i had to hit a payphone yeah
payphones were kind of on the way out when we were growing up it was almost like
you could i've used them but it was i think the most i've used them when i was traveling if i was
ever away that's when you needed it the most like You probably got a cell phone pretty early, huh?
You're right on that cusp.
I was going to ask you guys, what was it like
using beepers? Because I never got to use those.
Are you taking a shot at us right now or are you being honest?
You think I was out here pager-ing off?
You guys were part of the beeper era, no?
The beeper era was around us a little.
We were young, though.
We were young. The beepers were
mostly for
older brothers and sisters and stuff like that.
They all had pagers.
That's so interesting, the dynamic.
We both grew up in the same state, same city pretty much.
The beepers for him were used for older brothers and sisters.
The beepers for me were drug dealers.
Yeah, drug dealers.
Same thing.
I knew drug dealers, but I'm saying in my generation,
nobody I knew had one our age
unless you were a rich kid or you were living alone.
You moved out of your parents' house at 17 and you were selling drugs.
We knew a couple of kids that had apartments.
At 17, they got their own apartment.
It was fucking insane.
Trap house.
It was just insane.
You were like, this is-
The greatest thing of all time.
It just feels fake.
You're like, there's no way we're allowed to do this.
Oh, yeah.
Like, your mom don't love you.
What's wrong with your family?
You're still a teen.
Are your parents still together?
Yeah.
Yeah, they are.
Wow, look at that.
You know how you can tell?
You can see the smile on his eyes.
Five kids later, dude.
Look at the smiles on his eyes.
It's just rare in today's day.
No, it's not rare.
It's because love is nice and it's good and it turned out something you're you're a wholesome dude oh
thanks like i can tell that you are i feel in your soul broken wholesome wait no no no hold on hold
on yes shattered yes shattered shattered broken wholesome he is yeah he definitely had a stable
structure but kyle is it kyle in these streets yeah i know he's in the, but Kyle is in these streets.
Yeah.
But in a good way. He's in the streets, but he's in the good way.
The good way.
The good streets.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
The good streets.
Okay, I'll ask you.
This is definitive proof.
You walk outside my studio right now.
Yeah.
$20 bill.
Yeah.
On the ground.
Right?
You've seen people come and go out of the other offices.
You pocketing that
or are you going to find out
if maybe somebody dropped it?
I don't know.
The one next door?
It's right in front of their door next door.
I don't know what $20 bill
you're talking about.
Boom.
Broken.
Son of a bitch.
You are one of us.
What would you do?
You find $20 right outside of that door,
right next door,
the studio right next door.
You saw people coming in and out.
They waved to you.
Hey, Lamorne, big fan.
I'd go find the first unhoused person and give it to them.
Very nice.
That's what I would do.
So if I found it, which I had before in front of their studio,
I wanted to know what you guys would do.
What would you do?
I set it on fire.
I stood out.
I just lit it right on fire right in front of their window.
It was nuts.
They were not cool with it. it okay this is interesting you say that because i had a
conversation with my buddy just yesterday in chicago i was in chicago yesterday and uh
we walked by a guy who had his young kid with him begging for money and i always give a couple i
always do i always really try to give money. I always do usually give money.
The thing that bothers me
is when it's like a baby.
Yeah.
We do that a lot in LA.
There's babies on the side of the highway.
You've seen this before.
Oh yeah.
It fucking kills me.
I'm always like,
hey man,
please get that baby
off the side of the highway.
I'll give you money,
but you gotta find someone
to help get that baby off the highway.
Whenever I see a baby,
I know it's a scam.
I know it is a scam, but I'm still going to give them money.
See, that's what my friend said.
He goes, yeah, but you know it's a scam.
And I said, if you're willing to beg, I don't give a fuck if you live in an apartment or a house even.
The shame that you feel to beg anyway or the, whatever, the disconnect that you have here take the money i'd rather give you the money
anyway even if someone's like they're ripping you off it's like i didn't fucking lose anything i'll
give them five bucks yeah whatever in the grand scheme of the world i don't care that it's a scam
it just that that's not first of all it's not a great scam it's like a no it's a hard scam
there's a guy there's a guy that they did a like a 20 20 or it's a hard scam. It's a hard scam. Yeah, you're out there for hours. It's a shit scam. There's a guy,
I think they did like a 20, 20 or 60 minutes
or some shit on this guy,
homeless guy,
who would literally just kind of like
beg for money on the street
and then would take his homeless clothes off
as he was walking to his Mercedes.
Oh, jeez.
Back to his nice house
where his kids were going to Harvard.
I want to give that guy money.
Wow.
That's hustle.
Yeah.
You can't hate on the game.
There was a guy off of the, you remember this?
It's so great that we're the same age.
There was a kid off of the Dan Ryan, a man, I should say, who sold popcorn, singular bags of popcorn.
Do you know about this guy?
The news did a story about him when I was a kid, I remember.
WGN did a whole thing.
Oh, God, I wish I remember.
I'd have to ask my dad what exit it was.
But he would sell popcorn
off of the off of the highway individual bags and i guess the rumor was i wish i hadn't the
producer the kid would look it up but the rumor was um he would go to you know one of these
popcorn one of these you know factories and take all their you know they throw away or they just yeah and he
would individually bag them and sell them for a dollar or peanuts it was that
or peanuts I don't remember what it was but it was a big deal when I was a kid
and then I think the Tribune did a fucking article about this guy and there's
a he made like a hundred and twenty grand one year selling shit I think it's
peanuts that's what I bought from him yeah numerous times but I thought that
was I remember my dad saying that and the 90s, being like 120 grand.
Yeah.
That's like a half a million today.
Yeah, legit inflation.
The amount of shit that they throw away, though, is crazy.
Like, you should be able to, like, profit.
Someone should profit from that.
100%.
I don't know why there's not more of that.
In Lyle, actually, there is a factory.
I forget.
What's the, those chocolate pastry factories
well Ferrero Rocher
is out there
well it wasn't them
it was like
who makes the
Twinkies
and the
Hostess
Hostess
oh Hostess
there's a Hostess factory there
and one day
we were walking down the street
we just got through
playing pool
and my buddy goes
hey I'll be right back
and he starts running
towards the factory
it's like 11pm
midnight or some shit
he's got a shift
clearly
exactly
we were like
this place is clearly closed
he runs through the back
and like 10 minutes later
he comes out
with just like
a pile
of Twinkies
like
you name it
I was like
what the fuck is this
he's like
oh man
they just toss all this shit
in the back
when they're done with it
I was like
did you just go in the trash
and get this?
He was like,
yeah,
but it's at the top of the trash
so it's not like
touching all the trash.
He would do this often.
He would just scrape off the top
and then just go home
with a bunch of shit.
But this is real.
And also,
this is cultural.
We talked to the girl
on our other show,
Rudy,
in the Philippines,
it's a legit,
normal thing to do.
And it's not,
these people aren't starving and homeless.
They'll go pick off the top of the trash.
It's like a fun game to go find what's on the first layer of trash.
It's touched nothing.
Yeah.
Dude, the homeless out here are crazy.
Some of these houses they build, they got TV in there, cable.
Yeah, there's a two-bed, two-bath right down the street.
Dude, I literally watched UFC 299 at this guy's place.
He had the full pay-per-view.
I was like, oh, okay, dope.
By the way, Jesus Christ.
Did you watch that?
I didn't watch it.
He saw it.
He gave me the play-by-play.
Sean is just...
Sean, he's great.
Unbelievable.
No, no, it's different.
He's different.
That is the way I feel about all superior athletes of our time.
Thank you.
Something is different about Lamorne.
Yeah.
Thank you. Thank you for saying so. When you see superior athletes, though time. Thank you. Something is different about LeMorne. Yeah. Thank you.
Thank you for saying so.
When you see superior athletes, though,
dominating their sport,
it's something is,
whoa!
Listen, that's just for y'all.
By the way, do that again.
That looks exactly like the emoji that I send.
Yeah, dude.
You know the strong emoji?
I send that one all the time.
That looks like,
that's exactly the same shape.
Okay, man, thank you.
You're welcome.
Thank you.
I only send black emojis, by the way.
You should, man.
I don't like the white ones.
Because that lets you know it's serious.
I send the black, I send this a lot.
Oh, yeah?
I send the black fist often, yeah.
But I'll do it to, like, executives, like, if it's a very, like, if, like, it's like
someone I've barely met, you know, and it's like we're setting up a, you know, a thing
with, like, a studio or something important that's, like, very, like, they speak to you
in very business talk.
I always respond with a black fist
yeah
let them know
how I feel
yeah
they gotta know
you mean business man
yeah and sometimes
I'll ask them
if they're into BLM 2
like it's the second coming
yeah like a BLM 2.0
and then they have no response
they don't ever respond
to that kind of stuff
I always try to bait people
to see if they're gonna lie to me
and be like
we are BLM, too.
Yeah.
We're big on BLM, too.
We absolutely support it.
Yeah, absolutely.
We love it.
We just bought the merch.
Right.
Well, when is it going to come back?
It is going to make its second round.
There's no way it can't.
I think so.
Let's get it back.
Dude, honestly, they haven't given me their number.
Yeah, well.
We talked about this earlier.
I know.
You're new to the game.
He's new. New member, new new member you're not grandfathered by the way that i've had this moment we were walking in a bar in chicago with my my sister and one of my closest friends and
there was a huge mural on the wall on the way upstairs and it was comically like an
unrecognizable black guy but i was like this is such a chicago thing
where it's like a mural of some some like really like really cool looking like it's it's very well
done but i had no fucking idea who it was but of course you do the thing where you're like oh look
hoping someone would be like oh it's say it that's booker t yeah my cousin was my cousin was like oh yeah yeah yeah my sister oh
yeah all of us i could tell what we had no no one knew it sounds like you guys should be contestants
on the floor yeah have you seen that have you seen this black guy no but i've seen the bits
about it oh my god it's one of the weirdest things i've ever seen just because these are
very famous black people yeah i know i know. I know my black people.
Don't get me started.
This was a guy where you're like, this had to be a community organizer and I'm just not aware of who this man is.
This wasn't like, it wasn't like even somebody that I could maybe know.
It was like, I have no fucking idea.
It could have been a local rapper and I'd have been like, I have no idea who that fucking is.
Dude, Glenn Powell, you know Glenn Powell?
His aunt, he has the sweetest aunt name is aunt honey when she we were talking about acting uh when i first met her right and she said that her favorite actor is robert downey
jr and i was like oh great she's in and we were talking about i was making a joke about like black
actors and stuff like that yeah and then she then she was like, well, my favorite actor
is black.
It's Robert Downey Jr.
No, no.
Yes, he is.
You just have to go along
with it.
Yes, he is.
I was like,
I didn't know what to say.
I was like,
I was so confused by it.
But she really,
she saw Tropic Thunder
and was like,
that guy's hilarious.
Oh my God.
God bless her though.
Yeah.
Well, you've seen these people
on the streets.
It's such a weird thing.
It's like what happens
on game shows when they're like, you know, they'll go up to people
and be like, name your three favorite black people.
And they just can't say anything.
Because they're so confused that the question is very aimed and odd that people go, ah,
fuck.
Wesley Snipes?
Barack Obama?
It's so funny.
It's like they just don't know.
Because it's such a weird
catch you off guard question
that it is funny
to watch people's reactions
that's what happens
I think on that floor
it's like
they just get stunted
by the idea
that they're gonna sound racist
so they're like
oh my god
I'm gonna sound racist
and then they do
because you know
it's like
when you say
I don't wanna sound stupid
immediately your brain
is like
you're about to
something's going to be bad here
this is gonna be stupid.
Oh, yeah.
But again, the most famous people you could find.
Yeah, it's like Morgan Freeman.
And Oprah.
Come on, you don't know who Michael Jordan is?
That's weird to me.
Yeah, that seems strange.
I mean, I guess a part of it is they've got to be stunned.
And then a part of it is they're racist.
No, I'm kidding.
No, it's not.
They're like naming a young Jennifer Aniston with pixels over her face just based off the hair.
One piece of hair.
And they go, Jennifer Aniston.
I know that shirt.
She wore that in episode four, season three of Friends.
When they're just walking out of that shop, they know precisely.
Did you have a show as a kid that was like your apex tv show that like influenced you it wasn't friends i tell you
that no it wasn't you know i've never seen one episode people don't believe me really
i did i had it just didn't i had no interest in it i don't know why i just never no i know why i
it was didn't fucking it's that was the opposite of what. Yeah, and it didn't match what we were dealing with.
It just was not it.
I didn't get it.
I didn't get anything about it.
Also, I thought it was very strange.
Even then, I remember thinking,
these are kind of all the same people.
Like, I know that sounds terrible to say,
but it's like,
they weren't that dynamic of characters.
They kind of all fell into the same tropes a little bit.
But you're like, none of these people had?
I mean, Lisa Kudrow was by far the most dynamic.
And people are online are probably-
Super over the top.
Everyone was super over the top.
But that was what was kind of different about her.
Joey was Matt LeBlanc, right?
Matt LeBlanc was pretty funny.
They were funny, I guess, but it just never clicked with me.
I didn't think it worked for me for some reason.
I don't know why.
Which is rare.
You're the only white person that I've met that said,
I don't fuck with that show.
Well, dude, for me, it was only comedy.
And that kind of comedy, a traditional sitcom comedy,
in that old school regard, it did not reign for me.
It wasn't...
Martin was my show. Yeah, Martin It wasn't. Martin was my show.
Yeah, Martin was fucking incredible.
Martin was my show.
Which is great, because Stan from Martin, Garrett Morris,
I got to, it's so strange doing it,
because I always imagine his performances in Martin
when I'm reading lines, and I have to kind of check myself
out of that a little bit, because that's the character that he's playing.
Right.
But I was so obsessed with Martin.
Martin's my favorite sitcom of all time.
Now,
are you allowed to say that with all this cat William,
cat Williams controversy going out right now?
Oh yeah,
absolutely.
I like how he's just shooting it.
He's like every black.
What did he say about Martin?
He said that every black guy that wears a dress is like sold up the river to
the Illuminati or whatever.
Oh yeah.
I'm paraphrasing,
but you know exactly what I'm talking about.
He's saying like every time they want to put a black man in a dress,
and Martin was so quick to wear a dress, all this bullshit.
Yeah, but what he's missing is that that's been going on since way before.
Flip Wilson wore a dress when he was doing Geraldine,
that Geraldine character.
Right, but what's even more, whatever,
it's like we're talking about Cat Williams' theories of the world,
but it's so funny where are we now but like hey man to me if it's funny
it's fucking funny right i don't think there's a great agenda behind and i know what he's saying
oh he's like black people in hollywood are forced to do xyz it's like yeah robin williams wore a
fucking dress uh arnold schwarzenegger
well also a fucking tootsie was one of the most like you know groundbreakingly funny off-colored
weird films and he's a genius so you're like i don't know what are you really saying that like
i think people did it to explore different avenues of the art yeah you may hate it that's okay and
that may to be honest come from your fucking insecurities but it's just a different
exploration of the fucking art
it's not I like to think
sometimes nothing is that deep
especially when you talk to creators and artists
sometimes and you're like what were you thinking about
when da da da da da and they go oh I just had
eaten that meal that morning that's all that was
sometimes it's so surface level bullshit
I think we forget that that's
there is no great fucking agenda sometimes that gets spewed out.
Yeah.
But yeah, Martin was-
But the crazy thing is that here's why I love Cat Williams, but also I'm kind of like,
eh.
Mm-hmm.
Because, I mean, he's one of the greats.
He's one of the great standups.
Yeah, he's phenomenal.
Everything that he does makes me laugh. He's so funny the greats. He's one of the great stand-ups. Yeah, he's phenomenal. Everything that he does makes me laugh.
He's so funny, so good.
But when he's speaking on this, it's not the first time that as a black man, I've been hearing that since way before Cat Williams.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so, you know, in the back of your mind, you go, is there some validity to it?
Because there was a time back in slavery where they would emasculate black men.
They would do all kinds of things to get rid of that power.
Sure.
You know what I mean?
But wearing a dress, I don't know if that's one of them because what's also happening is people are laughing and you are making so much money doing it.
And you are cheering people up and it's like you chose to put it on.
You know what I mean?
I've never been on a set where they're like, no, you have to wear this. Right. You say no and you chose to put it on you know what i mean like i've never
been on a set where they're like no you have to wear this right you say no and you wouldn't do it
yeah yeah that's it i don't want to do it i understand the emasculation thing i get that
but i also think um i just don't bite into that theory greater agenda i just don't at all because
you once you work in the business a little bit you're like that's not true a lot of this shit
is not true like a lot of shit that you that you yourself believed when I got into it, that I was like, well, you know how that goes over there.
Then you go over there, you're like, no, it's not.
That's not at all is what it's like.
It's just-
Harvey Weinstein didn't put his penis in me at all.
No, no, no.
He asked to suck my dick in front of my whole entire agency.
That's so fucking good.
It's literally him.
You close your eyes, it's like, it's him.
Can you do that the whole fucking time we're here?
You see him on Rogan?
He was so serious on Rogan.
I know, dude.
I was like, who am I looking at?
Every time Joe asked him a question or brought up a point,
it would take him 10 seconds to respond. He was thinking. I was like, who am I looking at? Every time Joe asked him a question or brought up a point,
it would take him 10 seconds to respond.
He was thinking.
He'd be like, it's funny you ask that.
Where are you going with this?
You're going to stop watching.
Say you're going to get me canceled.
That's how he said it. Say how he did it.
This is the seventh or eighth time that I have said something that's going to get me canceled on this show.
Oh, my God, dude.
Jamie, pull that up, Jamie.
You've got the all-knowing Jamie.
Joe Rogan been trying to make the same six motherfuckers famous for years.
It's amazing.
He's incredible.
I, like, adore the dude.
But I do think some of those things get into territory of, like, I don't know, man.
Sometimes funny shit is fucking funny.
All the Weyans have transformed characters for years, since my childhood.
So it's like I adored them because of it.
Now, is there validity to what you're saying?
Yeah, sure.
Like, I watched that thing that...
White Chicks.
Yeah, I love White Chicks.
No, no, no.
I was going to say, I can't remember the actress's name now.
I'm drawing such a bad blank.
But she was saying how the reason she goes,
do you know why black people run when we laugh?
Have you seen this clip?
No. Who is this? Why can't I think we laugh? Have you seen this clip? No.
Who is this?
Why can't I think of this?
I just saw it the other day.
She says, black people run away when we laugh because we weren't allowed to laugh on plantations.
So we would run and hide if we were happy.
Is that real?
Well, that's what she said.
Dude, that's crazy.
Who said that?
Oh, God.
How come I can't think of this?
But I mean, when I saw the video, my instinct was, first of all, I laughed at the question.
Because she goes, you know why black people run away when we laugh immediately i'm laughing i'm
like this is not gonna go well it sounds like a comedy bit but she's being dead serious but
she's doing like a speech somewhere um and then andrew did you post on it black fist emoji yeah
you have to in solidarity you're like right on right on i get it but but it's but it was always
like uh one of those things where when you hear it,
it's the same thing with cat theories.
Cat theories.
Dude, he should have his own series.
Well, it's the same thing with cat theories that you're like, honestly,
there is a piece of it where I'm like, well, you just said it,
where you go, that sounds true.
Because also, here's the thing.
He's so high up there in our world.
Yeah.
Cat Williams is so high up there that he is seeing things that we don't actually have privy to.
So that's why I go, I can't dismiss him because he still is Cat Williams.
So at a certain level, I'm sure there are certain things you're invited to that you might look at crazy.
I might not.
I might be at one of these parties and everything seems fine.
But he may notice a tattoo
on a woman's neck
that must mean
that she's a part of
some sort of society.
But are you feeding into something?
And no offense,
but also,
haven't you struggled
with drugs and substances?
Yeah.
So it's tough for me
only because I know
that your mind may have not been
in a solid place
when some of these things
were taking place.
Right.
It's the same theory
of why a judge is like,
what was going on during this moment when all these people had differing stories like well we're all using it's like well who's oh who's who's uh whose reality was actually happening
it was taraji behenson i think is what it said by the way i think she was i don't know where she
was saying it i have to look it up but she was yeah why do they they run when they laugh she
said why do we run when we laugh but immediately when i saw it i thought it's got to be the most if that's wrong it should be right
wait so so taraji said that yeah she said she was being serious when she said it yeah yeah i believe
it yeah yeah taraji b henson speaks on black laughter yeah i i do believe it you know why i run
and i laugh right because i got all these gaps in my teeth sometimes when i laugh a lot it don't I believe it I do believe it You know why I run When I laugh
Because I got all these gaps in my teeth
Sometimes when I laugh a lot
It don't look great
So I just turn around like
I was gonna say
You whistle sometimes
When you laugh hard enough
I can hear it blowing through
Is it like that pedophile in Family Guy
See guys I got a
You gotta make a sweet deal
Come on over.
I wish I could whistle better.
Yeah, no, it could be true.
But it's a cat theory.
Again, he's got some great,
the guy's got some phenomenal theories.
Also, he's the one that's called out,
and look at what's come to fruition
from all this stuff.
This is like Hannibal with Cosby.
Cat dropping all these bombs,
and then Diddy getting
kind of smoked in the news and then Jay-Z
getting a lot of weird heat and then
Oprah getting all this weird heat
that's wild to me those are people that I just
kind of go yeah I'm sure you're probably
you know into some shit
I think Cat seriously I think he was
part of the Catalyst
I think he was part of it that kind of moved
the thing just a little bit enough for everyone else to go oh wait what's going on because the diddy thing happened
almost consecutively true and so did this will i mean uh so did the the jay-z shit what happened
with jay-z what did i miss he's being pulled into all that world of uh you know he's so funny it's
like really non-specific but you know he's he's being pulled
he's being pulled but he's someone who strikes me as not with that type of shit jay-z seems like
oh see now i'm gonna get cat williams on you right now but yeah i said i did i could see that
yeah yeah did i could see that you know i wasn't there but i'm like oh it checks out well when you
when you watch making the band yeah you were like, okay. Yeah.
This is not okay.
This is a manipulation of humans.
And he did that on TV.
On camera.
So what does he do on off camera?
What did he send them to the other side job for cheesecake?
From Jersey to Manhattan for cheesecake.
That's wild, dude.
That's crazy.
I mean, that I loved.
Making those kids walk across a bridge to get cheesecake.
I was like, this is just pure.
That's great television at the end of the day when you're like, this dude knows how to make entertainment.
That's why he was so good.
But listen, I mean, hit after hit after hit after hit.
Are we going to find out those are somebody else's hits?
Possibly.
That's how I always feel.
He sampled a lot, but who knows to what extent?
He would sample music, little bits and pieces. Yeah, but who was helping that didn't get any credit?
In the same way that Kanye kind of called out a lot of people,
because the proof with Kanye was that he literally did all the work.
It's definitive.
He recorded it all.
It's factual that it's him, and he shows that it's always him.
That's why he's so self-indulgent that you're like,
well, this is him
it is him it is fucking amazing you still wear yeezys i don't own one pair of yeezys no i've
never owned a pair of yeezys isn't that weird um i don't have them my wife's jewish pal okay so
hey you got something to say to me now no i never owned it no i've never owned a pair of yeezys and
i just they never appealed to me for some reason I don't know what it was
I got one pair for free
and I was like alright this is cool
I still have them they're very crispy
the Boost 350s or whatever they are
those were the sexiest of the shoes
but the problem is
I feel like they're eyeballs on me
if I ever wear them out
so I have so many shoes so I just don't wear them anymore
no no no you're black
black guys are allowed to still wear Yeezys if I wear Ye them out. So I have so many shoes, so I just don't wear them anymore. No, no, no. You're black.
Yeah, black guys are allowed to still wear Yeezys.
If I wear Yeezys, it's kind of a weird... No one's going to say anything, but someone in a meeting
might think about it.
I just don't like that the heels on those things,
they just go, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew.
It's so unnecessary.
Andrew, we love the pilot.
We just had one question. The shoes.
Can we switch out those shoes?
We're going to buy the show, but the shoes we wanted to
talk to you about.
These are the Polanski 5s.
You don't like these?
Juice shoes.
Juice shoes.
That'd be so funny if everybody that committed
any sort of atrocity had their own kicks.
Polanski 5s.
You got those Cosby 2s?
These are Cosby Lows.
I got these Kelly Mids.
These Kelly Mids?
The Sandusky 1s.
The colorway is sick.
Yeah.
Love those.
By the way, this is funny.
It's on par. Trump dropped
new kicks.
If you are someone who is of troublesome high profile, shoes are obviously the way to go.
Would you buy those shoes?
I wanted them so bad.
Do they sell out?
Yeah, they're sold out in like five minutes.
It was only like a thousand pairs.
But he sold them for like 3,000 bucks a pair.
I wanted them so bad for the show.
I wanted to buy them because Bobby doesn bobby doesn't dislike trump he like
despise it you know what i mean it's a different level oh yeah you know how like someone would
tell you they're like i hate trump and you're like you know it's like whatever that's a common
narrative to like hear someone be like oh trump bobby can't it's just like a different he can't
he's like gets annoyed about yeah so i badly wanted to buy him the Trump shoes. Like so bad, dude.
I tried so hard to buy for him.
I literally, I would, I was like, I want to buy him a pair of shoes because it would be
such a great bit to have.
But, and I try to buy him second market and no one's selling them.
In here, we pour whiskey.
This episode of Whiskey Ginger is brought to you by Squarespace.
I've talked for so long about Squarespace because I believe in them.
They were my first.
They were my first, baby.
They were my first.
That's who I created my very first website with and who I used to design whatever else we're working on in our future endeavors.
If you're looking to create a site, Squarespace is the place.
There's nowhere else to turn.
No one else has beautiful templates like they do.
Nobody else has the online store that they have available.
You can sell your custom merch with a fluid engine.
You have next-generation website design systems that are unbelievable,
flexible website templates.
Whether you want to utilize their templates or just go rogue
and do your own thing and create on your own,
if you're creative and good like that.
I'm not a smart man, so I like to utilize what's in front of me.
But they really have everything available at your fingertips to create a wonderful site whether you're selling
something you're producing something you want to put something out to the world
or you're a comic like me that loves the analytics to help find out to grow my
business and find out where you guys are because I'm coming to you on tour learn
where the site visits are coming from and analyze which channels are the most
effective Squarespace truly does have all of this in one place for you, and it's so simple to use.
And it's honestly, you don't really have a choice at this point
because they're the only one that's as efficient as they are in creating beautiful, wonderful sites
that are easy to use, user-friendly, and creator-friendly, which I'm a big fan of.
Head over to squarespace.com for a free trial.
When you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash whiskey
to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Once again, squarespace.com.
Free trial.
When you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash whiskey
to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
A lot of people talking about Lucy these days.
And when I say Lucy, I'm not talking about a loose cigarette.
I'm talking about Lucy made for your nicotine routine and delivered straight
to your door 100% pure nicotine always tobacco free okay they got pouches
breakers or gum the strength varies from 2 milligrams to 12 huh you want a little
low dose you want a heavy hitter all right 2 mils is pretty good for someone
who's an infrequent user 12 might be for you if you're underwhelmed by the effects of nicotine pouches
and you need something to step up.
The flavors are phenomenal.
Mint, apple ice espresso, and mango.
I love mango the most.
Mango, mango, mango, mango.
I love it.
Save yourself in the weekly gas station shop
and sign up for a monthly subscription with Lucy.
Right?
Lucy Breakers nicotine pouches.
Tiny capsule inside.
The capsule contains liquid flavor that saturates the pouch before it's even to use.
It's delicious and phenomenal.
I'm a big fan of the mid-levels.
Can't go up to 12, but I do like me an 8.
Some days, the old red needs an 8 to get through the day.
If you've got a midday slump, Lucy picks you right up.
It's phenomenal.
Throw it in.
Upper deck it, my friends.
Best nicotine pouches that I've found with a great taste.
And monthly subscription makes it so much easier so you don't have to go get them.
Let's level up your nicotine routine with Lucy.
Go to Lucy.co slash whiskey and use promo code whiskey to get 20% off your first order.
Lucy offers free shipping and has a 30-day refund policy if you change your mind.
That's Lucy.co. Use mind. That's Lucy.co.
Use that code whiskey.
Lucy.co.
Use the code whiskey to get 20% off and always free shipping.
Ginger.
I like gingers.
You know, I ran into, I've never officially met Bobby.
Seriously?
Seriously.
But he spoke about me on a podcast once with Neil Brennan.
Yeah.
And so I thought, like, if I ever ran into him, I'll talk about it.
It wasn't anything bad.
They were talking about how I match with every girl on Raya or something like that.
Oh, that he matches with?
Well, he's like, him and Neil were like, every time we open up a girl's profile, they're friends with Lamorne.
Yeah.
And I had never, like, I knew Neil, but I had never met Bobby.
I was on the plane recently with my daughter.
I knew Neil, but I had, I'd never met Bobby. I was on the plane recently with my daughter and, uh,
Bobby comes in, uh, and I was about to say what's up to him, but he was, I don't know if he was out of it, but he was just like, he sat right behind me and he just kind of went, and I was
like, Hey, what's up? And he went, I like put his head down and then like passed out. And for the rest of the flight, I do believe he was farting.
Yes, yes, yes.
This is correct.
Because I was looking around like,
who could be the culprit?
I'm like, it's got to be the sleepy comedian.
Well, a sleepy Korean is what it really is.
Sleepy Korean.
You know kimchi, dude.
That stuff.
It's already fermented.
It doesn't need any more time in your stomach.
No, he is a farty.
Yeah, he's disgusting.
We travel together and he will fart.
He'll fart on...
I don't mind him farting on a 737 and above.
I mind him farting on regional jets.
Oh, yeah.
You know the little jumper planes?
They're small.
It's one seat, two seats or whatever.
It's small when we're going from Midwest City to Midwest City.
Yeah, you can't do that.
And I don't mean private jet, by the way.
Some people at home sometimes can take that the wrong...
I mean commercial regional jets. How many private jets have you been on? I don't mean private jet by the way some people at home sometimes can take that i mean commercial regional jets how many private jets you've been on we don't
take i don't take private jets i'm absolutely no small planes i'll take regional jets like
american airlines right from cleveland to chicago like i'll do those yeah yeah but oh i'll take any
small commercial plane commercial plane i'll take any size because the FAA is like, don't crash.
Dude, private jets?
It's two guys that just rolled out of bed and are like, do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
No, no thanks.
Dude, private jets are the scariest.
I talked about it on here.
We got flown out to do this thing, me and a bunch of comedians.
It was me, Andrew Schultz, Stavros, Theo.
They flew us last year year from yeah from new york to paris yeah and they put us on the puma jet like puma owns a jet and
they put us on the puma jet and not gonna lie over the atlantic in the middle of the night
no thanks no no dude no fucking thanks yeah it was. Oh, what do you think was good? I mean it was just like this
I mean was it was it a bumpy flight? Yeah, I mean it wasn't just bumpy
It's like we had to keep changing elevation and stuff because they're trying to like catch the best
Jet stream. Yeah, cuz it's small
But you're over the fucking ocean and not I'm not smart enough to understand if that's busy bumpier or busier
But it fucking seems that way every time. Yeah, every time I go over like big chunks of water. that's busy bumpier or busier but it fucking seems that way every time yeah every time i go over like big chunks of water it's always bumpier i don't know why it is i'm not
intelligent enough to know the weather patterns are like up there but yeah probably something
happens differently over the water but the same thing like when i went down to australia
the first half of the first leg down there was fine and then it was fucking bananas at one point
i was like jesus christ and we were on a massive plane we're on one of those like you know four rows or whatever the
fuck yeah it was huge and you you feel in those things you're like dude imagine a small plane
would just be getting just getting tossed around yeah and i'm not i don't have the fear of crashing
i just think small planes not commercialized have more are more prone to accidents oh they
guys been on a plane when the mask has the mask ever come down on you guys thank god jesus christ no have you yeah one
time yeah yeah did the mask came out we were but same thing crazy turbulence mask came out lady
next to me starts like praying i'm like what is going on here yeah stay near her by the way i was
like she's got a pass you know that right so i'm like all right well we'll see um turn on my cell phone try to see do i gotta do like a last text type thing um and then
like you said the guys came on oh sorry guys we hit a little bit of a pocket but uh we'll be okay
yeah that was it no big deal dude i pooped did you put on the badge i was about to i was like
getting ready and then you know when they say, put on yours first?
100%.
I saw the old lady.
I couldn't reach her.
So I was like, bro, I have long arms.
Maybe I'm supposed to help her.
Let her die, dude.
Let that old bitch die.
She prayed already.
Yeah, she already prayed.
She's ready.
She's ready.
That's true.
She said, I prayed already.
I don't need no damn mask.
Let that old bitch die.
I told you, she just had a conversation with the Lord.
They're ready to get her bed set up
They discussed that before she got on the plane
Is it my time Lord?
Now do you
I don't know if you're religious at all but do you do a little thing on planes?
Do you have a religious little thing on planes?
I do
I text my mom twice
So I text her to let her know that I'm on the plane
And then I let her know when I'm taking off
And I say the same prayer twice, like an OCD prayer.
Can we hear it?
No, that's between me and my Lord and Savior.
That's okay, that's fine.
Come on, man.
Pretend I'm God right now.
All right, dear Lord.
Maybe ask Kat.
How would Kat do it?
Oh, yeah, how would Kat pray?
Please allow these pilots to be one Sully, a Tom Hanks, and a Denzel Washington.
That throughout all the trials and tribulations and the turbulence in the air, dear Lord Heavenly Father,
because you said it in Corinthians, that you will take us home, sweet Lord.
I feel safer right now.
It's so lovely, too.
Thank you, Kat.
That really does do something to me.
The Lord is good with Kat.
I've told this annoying story, but I was on a plane with, I was getting on a little small puddle jumper from Indianapolis to somewhere.
For some reason, when people say puddle jumper, it sounds racist to me.
I don't know why.
Sorry.
I was on a puddle jumper.
I think that's really what gets you
That's so good
Why does puddle jumper sound
It does sound racist
Puddle jumping ass
What the fuck
Your imagination, my brain goes to
Okay
One word
On the count of three
What's the word that you think your brain goes to that makes
it racist like what does it associate with that makes you racist you know what i'm talking about
yeah uh one two three basketball oh oh i was about to say that dude that was weird yeah well i said
bass and then you finished it because jumping i'm assuming the racist intonation in your mind would
say oh you're saying you jump over puddles in the hood playing basketball?
Well, to me, it could be the old stereotype about folks coming into the country by water.
Taking those little boats.
Well, that's interesting.
That's a shot. Puddle jumpers.
River jumper is what that would be.
River jumper?
Yeah, river jumper, I guess.
Well, right.
That actually, I didn't associate with Mexican.
I went black.
You went black.
Yeah, but if you do English, then it's kind of like, it sounds nice.
Like, oh, I was doing a puddle jumper, like from England.
Yeah, it's just a puddle jumper.
You know what I mean?
Well, that's because they use the word jumper as to describe.
Oh, yeah, I've got jumper on.
You're wearing a jumper.
Yeah, jumper.
That's a jumper.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a bit of, it's a bit textured, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. By the way, they're wrong. It's a jumper Yeah It's a bit of It's a bit textured isn't it
Yeah
By the way they're wrong
It's lovely
About a lot of stuff
What the Brits
I don't like how they try to connect
There's a guy on the internet
Who's like
It's not croissant
It's croissant
Yeah
Oh yeah fuck that guy
Okay well
Nigga it's bread
Yeah
Yeah bitch it's bread
Bitch it's butter bread
Also
Okay British people It's herb not herb
get the fuck out of here a herb is what we call you behind your back yes you fucking herb dude
that's some 90s ass shit you fucking herb bro herb is like that was in my vocabulary you need
to bring that there are a lot of people who don't know what it is like i've said it before and
they're like what is that if they had no connection to hip-hop culture at all that that word would be
meaningless okay yeah yeah if you didn't yeah there's no other way to say that if you had no
connection to hip-hop culture you've never even heard that word it was purely from that there
were terms growing up that like you watch a lot of movies and shit but in chicago we had our own
terminology and then when you watch like movies like Boys in the Hood, you'd hear a whole different thing. I didn't
know what a mark-ass buster was.
Buster I didn't hear. Yeah, buster didn't make sense to me. That's a West Coast thing.
West Coast. Yo, mark-ass buster?
Because everything sounds like that, cuz.
Yeah. Everything sounds just like that, homie.
Where'd that come? Where'd that go? Because you don't really hear that as much anymore.
That kind of like, that sounds Bay Area-y almost too.
You know what it is?
You know what I genuinely think it is?
Because regional accents are slowly disappearing.
I think it's the age of the internet.
It used to be I only hear what my peers say
and the people in my neighborhood say.
That's what influences the way that I think
and the way I speak.
Now we spend more time on our phones
than we do actually talking to people.
So I'm hearing accents and dialects from over here
that it starts to generalize.
I feel like a news anchor.
A news anchor from the South,
they move to the Midwest
and they have to be on the news.
They can't sound Southern.
So they fix their vocal patterns, I guess.
I feel like that's what's happening now.
That's so smart, dude.
That's such a clever thought.
We're all going to start sounding like the TikTok girl.
Yeah, 100%.
I'll take a sandwich with turkey.
Yeah.
That's what we'll all talk like because that's all you hear is like these robotic versions.
That creeps me out when you say that.
Because it is true, though.
When I go back home, Chicago starts to seep in more and more just because you're around it all the time.
And you feel it.
But out here, we're accentless
unless you just moved here from new york i heard it when you said popcorn yeah yeah popcorn words
will definitely so there's still a lot of words that i have that will come out like uh it's ace
it's almost always ace like bad yeah like it's always a few words but it's been washed away over
the years because unless i call a family member and they're so chicago you know when they're like oh hey what's going on it's all like that
yeah oh yeah those guys are fucking jagoffs jagoff was like so exclusively oh yeah i didn't know
jagoff existed outside of chicago because everyone's at fucking jag like uh this is bad
but when we were kids uh Don't say it. Okay.
Don't say it.
I was just going to say the N-word.
I knew it.
I could see it.
I just like Tarantino!
I knew you were going to say, your freckles got a little darker.
He's gearing up.
I used to not say it, but...
No, my uncle, I would hear my uncle say, he would...
My uncle would say, if there was a gay guy, they would call him Moe.
They would say Moes.
Did you ever hear that?
A Moe?
Moe?
No.
You can say it like homo, but they'd shorten it.
They would always say, oh, those Moes are over there.
Trying to be slick.
But I never got what he was referring to, Moes.
I thought it was, I don't even know what I thought, but I remember hearing my uncle say that.
Like, no, no, it's a Mo neighborhood.
Yeah.
And I was like, what does that fucking mean?
How many Mo's does my uncle know?
Yeah, because I know Mo was like a gang thing as well.
Is it?
Yeah.
A gay gang?
I don't know if it's a gang, but it's a-
Stop right there.
Yes, a gay gang.
Stop right there.
Drop and give me 20.
Hey.
We had a thing that happened.
I spent a lot of time in Atlanta
And we were doing a game night
We were out in Atlanta
Oh yeah
And we were leaving
We were leaving like a house party
Or something like that
And these goons were standing
On the corner in Midtown
Right
That had been Atlanta a lot
I just
I just forget what part of town
That I'm in sometimes
So we're in Midtown
And we see some thugs
Hanging out on the corner
And I'm like
We just keep walking We weren't scared We weren weren't yeah it's tatted you were so scared
dude no maybe a tiny bit yeah the way you said it you were scared we weren't scared no
tatted faces all that type of shit right jewelry everywhere and all of a sudden we hear
y'all looking lovely this evening. Oh, oh, okay.
The cow flinched.
I was like this.
I said, well, I thank you.
I was like, much appreciated.
They were like, you are very welcome.
Run that dick.
You think you got to give up your chain?
You just got to give a handjob to this guy?
It's a lovely night.
Thank you for not beating us up.
That is, but Atlanta is notorious to have like...
That's got to have one of the biggest gay populations.
And Atlanta...
Like, we're good here.
LA's got it.
New York, Chicago.
Atlanta's got it, though.
I think it's more cultural there, too.
It's bigger in terms of like...
I feel like it is.
Which is shocking because it's in the South.
South is very...
In certain parts. It's very racist, homophobic very but Atlanta's it's homophobic yeah Atlanta is so that's
why I love Atlanta so much Atlanta when I was growing up but I'd watch it and
watch certain TV shows like living single or some of these other shows and
I would see these like bustling black communities because I live in the south
side of Chicago I was like where the fuck is that yeah that place don't exist
like it'd be like everyone's a lawyer everyone's a doctor then I went to Because I live in the south side of Chicago, I was like, where the fuck is that? That place don't exist.
That's Atlantis. It'd be like, everyone's a lawyer, everyone's a doctor.
Then I went to Atlanta, and I was like, oh my God, everyone's a lawyer, everyone's a doctor,
everybody's rich.
I was like, God, I love Atlanta.
The ignorance in me, or just not seeing it on television, or it being spoken about, Atlanta
was that place.
So every time I go there, I'm always just like, oh, look at us.
Look at us.
Look at us doing it over here.
Atlanta, a symbol of black excellence.
Thank you for saying so.
That's kind of how I feel.
Yeah, Atlanta does have that, like, they are extremely unique.
They're not like the rest of Georgia.
And I'm not taking a shot at Georgia.
It's just, it's extremely different.
When you go outside of Atlanta, you go an hour outside,
this is a different fucking world.
It is,
it did feel like it was alien dropped.
You know what I mean?
You're like, it was placed in this place
where you're like,
man,
this,
I feel like this should have been
totally somewhere else.
But that's how Austin feels to Texas now.
Austin feels so fucking foreign.
Oh yeah.
Would you move?
Would you,
would you migrate there?
Absolutely not.
No,
no,
I don't know.
I joke with my friends
because a lot of people i
know moved down there and um a lot of new york guys i know moved down there i just i don't even
know how to say it i just it's just uh i know people say la has like a lack of culture and i
and they're inherently wrong in my opinion because i think this place is so much more dynamic it's
like saying if you only talk about new york as times square it's the same way you only talk about
la as if everything is hollywood but i said this on the plane to my buddy you when someone talks
shit about la they'll only do it to like a white dude like me who lives in la go to a fucking black
dude or mexican dude who's from la and be like la fucking sucks yeah i dare you it's a
different version they'll be like what are you talking about because your world the white la
hollywood world you're thinking of is all that you're giving it the city is so much more dynamic
than that yeah oh yeah but for some fucking reason we've been pigeonholed over and over
but you're like that's only because we're the epicenter of the fucking industry but the city's
massive the east side's huge.
When you drive down the street, there was a street that I was driving down going downtown.
I forget the neighborhood I was in.
And you see a lot of, we talked about this before, you see a lot of couches on the sidewalk.
Oh, yeah.
Koreatown.
Yeah.
So you know you're in the hood.
Yeah.
But it also seems very cultured.
When you see couches, you see culture.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's the couch from Friends.
Yeah.
That's right. It's a duplicate of that. there's little fountains on everybody's lawn no the city's so fucking big it's just it's i don't know it's just there's so much
about it but culturally i think austin i don't know if it's found its footing in terms of like
it's so young yeah but because of the influx i'm sure it had a great culture before everyone went
and fucking moved there you know but now it's got like a soul cycle and an equinox and you're like
i don't know isn't that just baby la it's brentwood that's what it's turning into yeah
so that to me is why i'm a little i don't know i almost moved there you did i almost so my daughter
was born in 2020 in austin because her mom is from austin Oh, wow. So I went there for the birth.
So I spent two months there straight during the pandemic.
I had the best time.
Obviously, my daughter's being born, but I was also running into friends who had moved
during the pandemic.
And it was wide open.
No one was wearing a mask.
Everybody was just fucking kicking it, driving pickup trucks, wearing American flags.
I was like, why am I having the greatest time of my life right now?
So I started looking to move.
You know, obviously you save a lot of money
living in Texas, you know, tax-wise.
So I was like, man, maybe I'll set up shop in Texas.
And me and my mom went back to do some house shopping, right?
So we go see this house, and we're in the backyard.
Now, keep in mind, a lot of older houses are being torn down.
And then, you know, it's being essentially gentrified with Californians. Yeah, it is. This one guy, we're in the backyard. It in mind a lot of older houses are being torn down and then you know it's being essentially gentrified with Californians yeah yes
this one guy we're in the backyard beautiful house this one guy is he's
shirtless it's covered tattoos got a long hair and he's chain-smoking a
cigarette he's staring right over the fence like this at me and my mom and my
daughter and he's just like this watching our every move and he's like
this close because the backyard wasn't that big yeah he's just watching us the
whole time my mom goes she looks at me she goes you see him I go yeah she goes
you are not buying this house no I still some leftover. Howdy, neighbor. Yeah.
We're going to let you guys buy that house, huh?
Mm-hmm.
It'd be a shame if something happened to it right before you moved in.
Yeah, no, I like it down there.
I do think it's awesome.
I've had fun over the years.
I've been going there for a decade plus for South by and all that shit. But I don't know, man.
I don't know. I don't know what it is something la still got me a little bit yeah it's convenient
it's peaceful as shit i have the mountains i never go to the fucking ocean so i don't use that as an
excuse and you and you are so rich that you don't care no it's not that is not true i'm loaning i'm
actually borrowing i'm on a loan right now bmo harris called me this morning you know you're
from the midwest where you call it BMO Harris.
Yeah, BMO Harris.
Yeah, that's old school.
Well, that was like what it used to be.
Chase bought a bank that was on the corner near my mom's house.
Chase bought Bank One or TCF, one of those like-
I don't remember.
What was the one that was in Jewel?
TCF.
TCF, yeah, they bought them.
Do you know what that is?
No.
It was like a local shitty bank, but it was my first bank when I was in high school that
I, like, when I got a job that I could bank with because it was free checking.
Dope.
All the other banks, I feel like back then, you did have to pay something.
And my dad was like, go to fucking Jewel.
Go to TCF.
They'll give you, because I was cash.
McDonald's was my first gig.
So I was cashing McDonald's checks at TCF Bank.
By the way, I never put money in.
I cashed it every fucking time. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because I was likehing McDonald's checks At TCF Bank By the way I never put money in I cashed it every fucking time
Because I was like fuck that
Why would I put the money
It's my money and I want it now
Did you see that episode on Curve?
Oh on Curve he's yelling it
Larry did a whole bit about it
Dude it's infiltrated us
It's just infiltrated us
We can't get rid of it
Those jingles dude dude, are so dangerous.
Oh, yeah.
They're just stuck in your head.
Do you remember Eagle Man?
It must be Eagle Man.
Do you have insurance
on this car?
No.
No?
It must be Eagle Man.
I've got something for you.
Dude, this is before.
This is outside of your time.
Sorry, dude.
This eagle lays a big-ass egg,
and then the ladies come out,
and they go,
whoa.
Look at those low rates
And he's holding
He's holding two eggs up
Right here
By his tits
And a bird pops out
With a rate card
And it's like
It's just
Dude my first
I played 16 inch softball
Out here
Chicago style
No glove
Oh shit
Yeah when I first moved out here
No glove 16 inch
It's a bigger ball
It still hurts
When you get a couple jammies
I was about to say.
But we played in a Chicago league out here in the Valley,
and we were Victory Auto Wreckers.
That was our team name.
I still have the shirt.
That's a shout-out to our old school.
There was a commercial.
The guy would pull his door right off of his car.
Oh, yeah.
It would fall down.
That old car is worth money.
That's right.
Fix that old car with used
parts. Used parts from
Victory Auto Records.
Solosi, Edelson, Chevrolet, where we always
save more money. These are just
all of our childhood comedy guys.
But you're a Sox guy, huh? Sox guy.
Yeah, you're a Southside Sox guy. Are you a sports fan or no?
Yeah, yeah, big sports fan. So wait, let me guess.
Well,
I guess you'd be a Yankees.
You've got to be.
No.
No.
You're a Mets kid?
No.
Wait, what?
I like the socks, the red socks.
Oh, wait, from Jersey?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have a little bit of a story about the red socks.
My aunt who-
All right, that's going to do it for us today.
Thank you so much.
What happened?
Your aunt married into-
My aunt who married into the family, she was cousins with Jason Baratek, who was the captain
of the Red Sox. I with Jason Baratek, who was the captain of the Red Sox.
As a kid, I got to go into the locker room
afterwards. Not like that.
We'd just meet the players and stuff.
I just grew up a Red Sox fan because that was such a cool
experience as a kid doing that.
I was like, I'm sold. I'm a Sox fan.
It's a great squad. I have nothing but respect for the White Sox
because we're Northsiders.
My dad's best friends, one of my dad's closest friends, because they don't say best friends at that age.
That's insane.
My dad's closest friend's father is a Hall of Fame White Sox, so we're always blessed to go.
He has a statue in left center field or whatever you call that dumb fucking place now.
What's it called?
It's not U.S. Cellular Field anymore. No, it's not the cell anymore.
It's something else.
Wait, was it Frank Thomas?
No, no, no, no.
No, he was a pitcher.
He could still play.
He was a pitcher.
Yeah, well, with all that testosterone.
I was having a tough time getting the bat around
until I found, what's that fucking shit?
Nugenics.
Nugenics, yeah.
Until I found Nugenics.
And then the two women come in,
they're like, is that Frank Thomas?
It's like, yeah. There's no way he can get enough. And then the two women come in, they're like, is that Frank Thomas? It's like, yeah.
There's no way he can get enough blood flow and have that big of a body down to his dick anymore.
I don't give a fuck how much Nugenics he's on.
I don't know.
He's got just a constant drip.
He might be shooting his strength.
He might be shooting his strength.
Right in his dick.
Right in there.
He's holding his dick.
Just fucking IV drip straight to the dick.
I know.
Because those women look like they're trying to fuck.
Every time you see them in a commercial, I'm like, I hate.
Because the guys, their husbands look like cucks.
They just sit there going, wow, you're right, honey.
He still can play.
And they're like, hmm.
And then he'll go, Frank will go, and trust me, your wife will thank you, too.
And they look like this.
Yeah.
When they really want to fuck Frank Thomas.
That is a cuck commercial.
I've never noticed that.
Those are the best.
Straight up cuck commercial. Go get never noticed that. Those are the best. Straight up cuck commercial.
Go get it, sweetie.
My first ever,
the reason why,
I tell you this,
the reason why I'm a Sox fan.
See, I'm a basketball fan first.
Chicago Bulls,
that's my squad, right?
But baseball wasn't
really a thing for me
until I started acting.
My first two gigs
were White Sox related.
What was that?
So I did a commercial
with Paul Conurco
called Win or Die Trying. It was 05. It was the? So I did a commercial with Paul Conurco called
Win or Die Trying.
It was 05.
It was the year
they won the World Series.
Yeah.
And I did a commercial
that I'm an angel
and I'm going to help them
win the World Series.
Whoa.
And it was silly.
Silly commercial.
Like I killed,
essentially,
I killed Paul Conurco
and take him to heaven.
And I'm like,
dude,
I just saved your life, man.
He's like,
what?
He's like,
I was about to crush that thing. I'm like, no you weren't. You were about to get hit. And I'm like, dude, I just saved your life, man. He's like, what? He's like, I was about to crush that thing.
I'm like, no, you weren't.
You were about to get hit.
And so it was a stupid bit.
And so I was like, man, Paul Canerco was super nice,
left tickets for me.
I was like, oh, OK, that's pretty dope.
That is cool.
And then the next one I did one with Bobby Jenks,
a White Sox pitcher.
Yeah.
It was a McDonald's commercial.
I did it with Rob Belushi.
You ever work with him, Rob Belushi?
Oh, yeah.
I know Rob. Yeah. So I did it with Rob. And You ever work with him? Rob Belushi? Oh yeah, I know Rob Yeah, yeah
So I did it with Rob
And they put a trash can on my head
And they just started throwing
Fucking Bobby Jenkins
Baseballs?
Throwing socks
Oh
It's like a wake up call
I'm in bed and he
The first part of it
He's just throwing socks at my bare head
No
Now keep in mind
This man is a
Like a hundred something mile an hour
Major league pitcher
Major league pitcher
At one point
The director goes,
hey, can you just make him pop a little bit more
off his head?
Just accurate.
How accurate can you get?
Because some of them were missing.
And he was like, you want me to get accurate?
And he goes, if I get accurate,
I gotta throw a little bit harder.
And he was like, yeah, it just sucks.
And I look at Bobby, and Bobby was like,
all right.
I was like, it's fine.
Try it.
This motherfucker started drilling me so hard that he started warming me.
Warming up?
Yeah.
He was like, fuck.
He hurt his arm.
He was throwing so hard because the next 10 just went bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.
Directly in my head.
My head started welting up from socks.
Jeez.
And the director was like, are we going to go again?
I was like, I got to say something.
Yeah.
I was like, I got to say something. I don't think we have to. Yeah. This hurts. Yeah. I was like, are we going to go again? I was like, I gotta say something. I gotta say something. I don't think
we have to. This hurts.
Look at my forehead. Well, that's why your
one eye is lower than the other one because of that.
No, that's God. Oh, that's Jesus? That's Jesus.
He did that.
He wanted you to be able to see both. He's like, no matter how high
I get, I still gotta look out for the little ones.
Oh, wow.
God, you're... What a sweetheart.
You really do have a good soul.
I take it all back.
Nobody in here is broken.
No.
Everyone is whole.
I thank you boys for coming in today.
This flew by because it was wonderful.
Dude, seriously, thanks for having us. A new friendship has emerged.
I really like you.
Thanks, dude.
You're a great dude.
I hope people listen to the show.
It's available everywhere.
You can listen and watch podcasting.
You guys videotape it too.
Yeah, we do.
I'm going to come on the show when I get back.
Yes, please.
Into town.
We end the show the same way, with one word or one phrase.
Look into your camera, your individual camera there.
We say one word or one phrase to close out the episode.
Whenever you're ready.
Boys, go ahead.
One word or one phrase?
Yeah, it used to be a word.
It used to be a phrase, then a ahead. One word or one phrase? Yeah, it used to be a word, and then we had to change it to a phrase, then a word.
One love.
Bobby Lee farts on the plane.
In here, we pour whiskey.
Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.
You are that creature in the ginger beard.
Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Gingers are pugilistic. You owe me $ ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful.
You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse!
Gingers are hell no.
This whiskey is excellent.
Ginger. I like gingers.