Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Malin Åkerman

Episode Date: October 23, 2020

Santino sits down with Malin Akerman to chat about her son pooping up his back in vegas, teaching us how to say clean your peen in sweedish and lying to your kids about what drugs you did and so much more. ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! MANSCAPED - Clean up your balls and tush and now your ear and nose hair! Go to https://www.manscaped.com/ and use promo WHISKEY for 20% OFF WACK YOUR WEEDS SQUARESPACE - Help design your website today with amazing templates and the help of professionals https://squarespace.com/whiskey Use promo code WHISKEY for 10% off Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips EDITING AND PRODUCTION DESIGN BY THE AMAZING WHISKEY GINGER TEAM JENNA SUNDE https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday/ JOE FARIA https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria Y&S https://www.instagram.com/youngandsick/ Intro Music by Rocom: https://www.youtube.com/user/RocomTelevision Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You were that whiskey in here we pour whiskey whiskey whiskey whiskey whiskey you're that creature in the ginger field sturdy ginger like vampires the ginger gene is a curse gingers are beautiful you owe me five dollars for the whiskey and 75 dollars for the horse gingers are hell no this whiskey is excellent ginger i like gingers ladies and gentlemen welcome back to whiskey ginger my guest today is one of my favorite This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today for realsies.

It's Malin Ackerman. Malin? Hi. Hi. I haven't seen you in, well, two years? Two years. Wow. That's disgusting. Yeah.

We're not good friends nope thanks a lot pandemic and life yeah but you know what it is i live in la yeah you kind of live in la i live in la yeah but you work and you're gone all the time you're not a you're not an you're an la person who doesn't really live here full-time okay fair enough fair enough. Yeah, I'm an LA person. But now I feel like an LA person. Yeah, because you have to be. I feel like I haven't left LA in five years is what it feels like now. Yeah. I wanted to be home. I couldn't wait to just spend time at home and now I'm, I take that back. Now you're panicking about it? Oh, you don't like being around your family? I actually do love it and now I'm panicking about going back to work.

You know, when you just get comfortable all of a sudden. I'm ready for the pandemic to be over. Yeah, same. And to like see people out and be lively again. You know, where you can talk to people at a bar. Yeah. But I don't want to go back to work. I'm going back in two weeks.

Well, two and a half weeks. What are you doing? This little FX show called Dave. Oh, yeah. I've seen Dave. Yeah, I'm on it. You'll be great. I'm one of the guys on the show. What are you doing? This little FX show called Dave. Oh, yeah, I've seen Dave. Yeah, I'm on it. You'll be great at that. I'm one of the guys on the show. Are you his penis?

Mm-hmm. I'm his butt plug. I'm excited to go back. For people that are unaware, we have a lot of backstory, a lot of exposition to tell, but Malin is an actor, writer, producer, pole dancer for a decade.

Definitely a pole dancer. She is a bow hunter, a fisherwoman. Yeah, I hunt bows. You hunt bows. I hunt bows. A fisherwoman and also a paper mache expert, I guess. Aficionado. Aficionado, yeah. You make paper mache everything. Only Viking paper mache. Viking paper guess. Aficionado. Yeah, you make paper mache everything.

Only Viking paper mache. Viking paper mache. Yeah, very different. What's hello again in Swedish? Hey. Hey. Hi. Yeah, it's all in throat.

Hi. Hey. Hi. My mom's name is Pia. Somebody hit you. Pia. But in Swedish, it's Pia. Pia.

Yeah. What a dare. Pia. Like somebody choked you. That's what it is pija. Pija. Yeah. What a dare. Pija. Like someone choked you. That's what it is. Yeah, pretty much. Malin and I met doing a show six, I don't know how long ago. It was, well, Seb was like a year and a half.

Yeah, your son was one. And he's seven and a half now. So it was like seven years ago. Yeah, good at math. So crazy. Six years ago. And we shot a show in vegas together and your son was such a tiny little person and now i see him and he's a he's like a boy which is so crazy it's

so weird to see and when he shit his pants in vegas yeah all the way well i mean we were in vegas for six weeks he partied hard yeah he was at the craps table. He was hitting hard. It was terrible. One of his first words was casino. It's awful. Yes. Casino? Yeah, because we were at the casino. Because you had to hit casino in the elevator. Oh, in the elevator to get down to the floor.

We were staying at Caesar's Palace. And she goes, casino. Every time, right? Every time. Over the elevator woman. Casino, casino. Casino. Yeah, he shit his pants.

I remember we were going to go out for dinner. and you were like uh i was like uh i was like oh okay well i guess we'll meet in the lobby or whatever something and then you had called me and we're like i have to fix something you can either come to the room and help or i'll see you at the restaurant to fix something yeah you were pretty vague about it and then i got there and you were like seb shit his pants and i was like okay but like he was still in a diaper but when i when we say shit his pants he had full-on diarrhea that went up to his neck he was in one of those onesies in the back of his hair you stood there and laughed the whole time it was very very funny i could not believe it just laughed while i was trying to clean my child that's how i helped i laughed i brought laughter to it well i walked

in and you didn't really explain what was going on. And then I just saw poop up his back. And I was like, funniest thing I've seen today. It was crazy. Yeah, we spent time in Vegas. We spent a couple months in Vegas. We shot a show. Sin City Saints for Yahoo Screen. Yep.

It doesn't exist. It doesn't even exist. Yahoo literally stopped trying. I think they saw the show. After our show. Yeah, and they were like, gotta cash out i gotta go home yeah but all that time we spent um we grew a wonderful friendship and uh i love you and then you went on to continue to do great stuff and i stayed right at the middle i stayed right i coasted right in

the middle of my career you've got your own podcast yeah i'm killing it this is huge and thank you for the fans for you're about to be on dave yeah i'm on yeah i'm back on the show that'll be good but um and then now um we did two almost two years ago now right almost two years ago we shot uh a little movie with an like an extreme cast of i mean unbelievable cast yeah we have a mutual friend named Nicole Payonne who is a longtime friend of yours. Yeah. And oddly enough,

I met her way before I ever met you. We did a pilot together. Oh, that's right. Yeah, we did a pilot for CBS. Some sort of improv pilot. Yeah, it was wild. It was a hybrid and it was... I remember her talking about you.

It was like half... And what did she say? Well, let's take that later. It was half scripted and half with improv. And it was me, her, Tiffany Haddish. Yeah, that's right. Asif Ali. It's a good cast.

There were so many cool people. It was a wild show. And the pilot was terrible. But we just were having fun. There was no rules. They just were having we just were having fun yeah there was no rules they they did they just were trying to make it so loose that it was just kind of like we didn't know where we were going and then anyway nicole and i stayed in contact so and then she wrote this movie and malin is the star of the show and uh i did a little bit role in this movie that's

out right now it's's called Friendsgiving. You can get it anywhere, I guess. We talked about that for a second. I don't know about VOD. It's video on demand. It's like anywhere you ever get your movies. But where do people really get that from? Because on me, it's on my television and I just...

See, I don't have to hunt for much because the TV just goes this here, anything you need. Yeah, well, I think most TVs are like that nowadays. And if not, you can do it on your computer. Does everybody have a smart TV? Not everyone. I thought that was Hollywood only. Yeah, well, I think most TVs are like that nowadays. And if not, you can do it on your computer. Does everybody have a smart TV? Not everyone. I thought that was Hollywood only. Oh, maybe. I thought I was only the one.

Maybe, maybe. Maybe you're the only one. How much do you think it is to rent the movie? What are movies nowadays? 10 bucks? I don't know. A Friendsgiving movie. Here we go.

Let's see if we can rent it right now. It's not out yet. $875,000. Oh, yeah. No, you can watch it right now from $99 999 999 that's not no it is out right now it's a good um it'll already be out okay great it's out it's out it's out right now it's out and it's only 999 999 listen that's like that's pretty good a cup of coffee from starbucks and but this way you get an hour and a half of full-on entertainment. And like you were saying, a killer cast.

With super funny people. Yeah, Peretti, Wanda Sykes, Dionne Cole. Fortune Feimster. Fortune. Aisha Tyler. Ryan Hansen. Ryan Hansen, who's the worst person on planet Earth. I can't stand him.

I don't ever want to see that dude ever again. Kat Dennings. Handsome jerk, Kat Dennings. Jack Donnelly, my husband. And your husband. And. Yes. Jane Seymour.

Oh, let's not forget the legend. We had so much fun. Jane Seymour. She was game, man. She was down. She was really down. She knows how to tell stories too. Jane Seymour is kind of like how sometimes when a baseball announcer will throw in their personal life

but you don't see it coming. She was good at that. Like she'll be telling a story like how a baseball announcer would be like, you know, two balls down, three men on,

it's looking real bad for the Dodgers. His wife left him last June and that's another out. She would like throw in these little tidbits about life that I, you know,

and she's like, and that's when I got divorced the thirdbits about life that I, you know, and she was like, and that's when I got divorced the third time. And you're like, Oh shit, but it had nothing to do. No, but that's what was so fantastic about it. You get these beautiful little tidbits about her life.

And I love people like that. Cause it's never a boring, boring moment. No, she's not boring. She's very fun. The movie was super fun. I had some really good times.

Um, we had just, I had just a couple little baby scenes, but with Christine Taylor too. Yeah. taylor played my wife who is god incredibly funny and super like uh super game i'm she was so down for anything because i had to play this like um douchebag bro bro like uh like new money guy like a guy who just got rich who had his own crossfit crossfit gym in Orange County. Yeah. You know this guy.

He's real. Never met him. He's real. And Bryson or whatever his name is. And yeah, Christine played my overly plastic surgery faced wife. Is there a word for that?

Botox. That's what it is. Plastic face? Plastic face? Botox face, I guess. Botox face? guess botox face she couldn't she she was like everything was numb in her face yeah she couldn't whatever that is let let me be honest yeah i've known you yeah as an actress in hollywood that you've been for

seriously tell me 15 20 i don't even know 15 years 15 years yeah you've never fucked up your face i haven't fucked it up i tried botox once while i was going through divorce yeah i went in i was doing a tv show it's everything came back because it goes away after like three months what do you mean it dissipates or something yeah so i did it in my foreheads to like i went to yeah it was one of those i was doing a show trophy wife yes my son was just a few months old i was going through a divorce um and i went into this woman to get my eyelashes dyed because i'm blonde yeah like a real blonde yeah and so everything's blonde so i was like i don't want to look like santa claus with you know blonde eyebrows and

eyelashes so i get them tinted and as i was laying there she goes oh you're it's you're a perfect age now i mean you should just we should just do a little botox in your forehead this is so fucked up and i was so vulnerable at the time and also just curious i was like yeah maybe you're a perfect age now. I mean, you should just, we should just do a little Botox in your forehead. This is so fucked up that people do that. And I was so vulnerable at the time and also just curious. I was like, yeah, maybe you're right.

And I did it. And I said, but you know, I just, I'm just worried because I'm doing a comedy right now and I need to like use my face and expression.

She goes, don't worry, we'll just do a little bit. It'll be great. I could not move. And by the way, I don't know if it was done badly, but my forehead,

everything dropped so my eyelids got droopy. Oh, I've seen that before. It's terrible. It's sad. I'm not ever doing it again. Yeah. Or at least not now. Everybody looks like a tired Alaskan when they get their eyelids done.

It's really, it's like. Yeah, I guess if you do it wrong. Some people are like, no, no, no, you just went to the wrong person. I was like, okay, well, cool. How come I've seen so many people go to the wrong person same i've seen millions of i've seen so many women in la where i'm like why do so much to your face i get i get people want to do things for cosmetic purposes i'm okay with that but like sure why try to reconfigure the whole thing the one person i think has done it so right is jane fonda oh yeah i've seen her yeah whatever that woman has done i think it's a lucky combination of also some people are going to get a little are going to get not worse looking with age and not better

looking but like gonna continue to have like a nice face as they get older yeah do you know what i mean like some people are lucky enough to just have a nice face kept and then some people you see when they were young you're like handsome or pretty and then they're much older and you're like it's not even the same human. No. It's like the face morph. So she's probably lucky that she was already going to have a pretty face. Well.

And then as she gets older, it kind of stayed. No, but some people. No. Had pretty faces when they were young and you're like, oh. But also we're talking Jane Fonda here. Like she is. I mean, she has danced her whole life. And they say you are what you eat.

I'm sure she eats beautiful. Babies. Babies. Of course. I know what goes on in Hollywood, dude. And they say you are what you eat. I'm sure she eats beautiful. Babies. Babies. Of course. I know what goes on in Hollywood, dude. She eats babies. Don't you? We all do.

I can't afford them yet. This podcast is not really killing. I'll send you one. Send me a baby, please. I'll order one from the pizza parlor. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. From the Clintons. The extra cheese one.

Wink, wink. Do you guys take Apple Pay for the babies from the pizza parlor um no you know i think it's funny when some people do that but uh that's one thing that i find really separates certain kinds of people in hollywood look we've all we've had we have friends that do a lot of stuff like women that get so many surgeries done and i get it but i also think it's cool to not do a lot of that stuff. Yeah, and listen, I honestly think like whatever makes you happy,

whatever makes you walk out that door and feel confident about yourself, go for it and happy, truly from the inside. Not just, you know, pleasing other people. I would never be one to judge, but... But you do. But I judge, yeah, behind closed doors, I closed doors i'm very when i'm in my car i say that thing that you can't hear i say so much yeah um but i do it's interesting because

talking to directors they just say women of a certain age it's so hard to find women who look their age these days right because everybody wants because everyone you know and i and i think about that and i think of the longevity of my career and I just want to be able to, I think it's so beautiful to watch women age. And that's easily said, you know, when you see these, there's these beautiful women who are aging. You know, not everyone ages the same way. But I also have heard that children who take cues from your facial expressions are not learning emotions properly because people are so Botoxed. Whoa, that's so weird.

So that's really something to think about as a mother, for instance. You know, if you can't move your face, your child is taking cues off of you and they're not going to be learning those cues. Mommy's happy. Yeah. Mommy looks the same all the time.

That's so creepy. I've never even thought about that but yeah that's so true especially like i read a study on really developed young developmental stages for them that must be very strange yeah so like every kid is going to be autistic now because they don't they won't be able to read emotion just without emotion yeah yeah that's so that's so weird and crazy when you think about it that way yeah so. So that kind of stops me as well. From doing all... Yeah, but you also have that... I wouldn't... So you're born in Iceland.

Nope. Try again. You're born in Reykjavik, Iceland. We really are. On a boat. Yeah. At sea. Fisherman's boat.

No, you're Swedish. Hunting bows. No, you're a Swede. I know you're a Swede. I just wanted to make fun of you a little bit. I know. So you were born in Sweden and you moved here when you were... Well, I moved to Canada when I was two. Yeah, but that's North America.

Okay, fine. I moved to North America when I was two. And then you moved to the United States when you were four or five? Yeah. Five? No. How old were you? I was 24.

Really? Yeah. You lived that long in Canada? Yeah, 22 years. Wow. And I've been out here for, I'm like 75. I've been out here a long time. I know you're old.

But that's the reason you don't have to mess with your face, because you have that Swedish blood, you have that Swede thing. I've never seen an ugly person from Sweden. That's very nice. No, that's a fact. Is there ugly people up there? Yeah. Really?

Yeah, you got to go to Sweden. But there's no fatties. There are now. Oh, because of Western influence. Because of us. McDonald's is there. Because of us. Without us, it wouldn't have happened.

You never know. Swedes probably would have never. I would bet if you look at the history books of big people, Swedes were tall. There's a lot of tall Swedes. Big barbaric. But never thick canned. I don't know. I don't know if that's true. Let's go through it. There's a lot of tall Swedes, but never thick canned. I don't know. I don't know if that's true.

Let's go through it. There's big drinkers. Yeah, but so what? But the diet is always fish, seafood. Yeah, sure. It's fish and meat. It's like pretty standard, but it was pretty good.

I think about that with Italy too before. And then Starbucks came into Italy and you're like, what are we doing? What are you guys doing? You have the best coffee ever in Italy and you're bringing Starbucks in?

Yeah, but you know what? You know who drinks it there? You. No. Italians. I know. That's the irony. It's like they'll still

go to Starbucks. We don't go to Starbucks when we go there because we're like, I'm in Italy and you think it's fun but the locals are like, I'm just going to get a latte.

Is that how you speak when you get in Italy? I'm in Italy. Hi. Ciao. It's always way up. They're like, I'm a fucking American. Where is the train? It's always way up. They're like, oh, fucking Americans.

Where is the train? And they sound like me. They're like, this fucking asshole. Shut up. We speak American. We've been watching television, you know? Yeah, they do, though. A lot of people do.

I know. Except if you go to very remote parts of Europe and they mock you incessantly because you're American and they talk about you. And then you're like, can I have this? And they're like, can I have this? And they're like, yes, you can have that. You mean the pizza? Yeah, and they sound like us.

And you're like, oh, shit. Sorry, I thought you were a local. No, but the Swedes are particularly wonderful people. They're a lovely group of people. They're a wonderful group of people. They're very nice. And I think they're all quite good looking. They don't, it's kind of like how like,

like a lot of Russian women always have nice skin. Like Eastern European women are always kind of pretty. I haven't really studied their- Really? I haven't studied their skin. I think they're beautiful women. I haven't gotten up close and personal. Melania Trump, Ivanka Trump. Look at all the Russian robots in the White House, dude. They're all cute.

Anyway, they are. There's nothing phony there. No, no, no, no. Don't you dare. Don't you dare. No, no, no, no. Actually, not to get into politics at all, but I know you called me and you said when we were doing this, I said, you want to get together? You said, yes, I'm just casting my ballot for Kanye. So you voted for Kanye. You want him as president that's huge 100 you know i want to go to his church oh right yeah you want to go to gospel sundays or whatever sundays i think it'll bring the country together for people that don't know what this is i'm sure a lot of people are culturally aware but he does like a sunday service show in like the West Hills of LA. He's somewhere here. Calabasas.

It's out there. So fun. I know. I kind of do want to go. Yeah. But I don't want to support his mental health problem. Yeah. So that's that's the divide is like.

I don't think. Enjoy it. But I'm feeding into his ego chaos. Yeah. I think I think I'm just going to let that one be. Except for voting for him. No, you want him to be president. Yeah. I do know that.

It was so interesting, though, because this is my first time voting as an American citizen. Wait, really? him to be president. Yeah, other than that. It was so interesting though because this was my first time voting as an American citizen. Wait, really? Yeah, I just became an American citizen last year. And so it was my first presidential vote. First time voting ever because I lived in Canada. I was an immigrant there

and now I was an immigrant here. So finally I got to vote. I was so excited. There are so many different options for president and vice president. Yeah, they just don't hear about them. Why do we only have debates between Democrats and Republicans? I love you, Molly.

It should be across the board. They should all stand on that stage and debate, no? Yes, I completely disagree with the two-party system. I think it's the biggest crock of shit on planet Earth. It's actually the least Democratic version of what's going on. But it's not because they're all on the ballot. So obviously we're not. Yeah, but it is though.

Yeah, I know. But that's why I was like, why putting putting everyone else on there because nobody even knows about them i know well i learned you know so i did my due diligence i read about all the props and all that stuff which i do every time yeah and and every time i go oh i just it's such like a pain because it really is a pain to like really know what it means because they sneak shit in yeah like they do stuff where they're like you're going wait so should i say yes or no because it feels like unfair they trick you they'll go like um shorter time for people in prison who have non-violent crimes like marijuana sales and you're like yeah i think that's i don't think you should serve a

long time i don't think you should go to jail for that and then underneath they're like also if you punch an old lady in the teeth, it's okay. And you're like, what the fuck? How did you sneak that in there? It's like those commercials for medication and that's all the like side effects.

That's what it is. That's what those props are. It layers it in. You're like, wait a minute, that doesn't make sense. Why is that attached to this thing? I don't like it.

I just don't, I think they, it's trickery and it's gobbledygook and mickety mush and it makes me angry. But I'm glad that you do your due diligence. I did.

Do your research. And I think that's so important that I was so. But I think nobody does. And that's unfortunate because we have such an opportunity. Like I, of course, I'm like an eager new student because it's my first time. Oh, yeah. So I was studying everything. I know.

The second election, you're like whatever whatever whatever whatever no yes no yes no just kind of throw it to the wind did you look up the other people that were running for president genuinely you did did you like research who they were i didn't research because i knew there's no none of them are going to go anywhere but i i looked them up just to kind of see i i i was shocked when i saw that kanye was up for vice president i just went oh my god this is this isn't there a swedish woman that's running joe jorgensen isn't she swedish she could be she could be norwegian oh god hold on because i saw the name on there yeah she's uh it could be any skin it could also be danish check it out yeah do we trust do we

trust who she well first, first of all, she's from the United States. She's from Libertyville, Illinois. Well, you got to be, right? To be... Yeah, but what is she? She was born... It doesn't even say.

Or maybe her ancestors. It doesn't even say. Send her a little ancestry.com. But Jo Jorgensen, doesn't that sound like a Nordic name? Jorgensen. Jorgensen. It could be any of the Nordic...

Well, yeah, like right, like the strongest, one of the strongest women in the world is uh um oh shit this is always blows my mind this is icelandic though yeah but it's something's daughter like the last name always ends in daughter all daughter yeah that's the weirdest thing and it was daughter yeah yeah two of them daniel's daughter yeah but it's daughter d-o-t-T-E-R which is really cute to me dotter dotter Magnus dotter Maters dotter whenever I heard you

whenever you used to speak so you would talk when we were in Vegas you would teach your son you were teaching him Swedish you would say stuff

but then you did he doesn't know anything he doesn't know anything he doesn't know anything he doesn't know anything he doesn't know anything he doesn't know anything he doesn't know anything

he doesn't know anything he doesn't know anything he doesn't know anything he doesn't know anything he doesn't know anything he doesn't know anything he doesn't know anything he doesn't know anything

he knows a few words because you would speak pretty often he knows how to say penis in Swedish because I always say clean your penis in Swedish how do you say clean your penis that's the penis so if you say snop that's just penis snop so clean your penis yeah he knows how to say I love you. What's I love you?

Jag elskar dig. Yeah, what? Jag elskar dig. Jag elskar dig. It always makes me laugh when other people try to speak Swedish because it's so, it feels like the Swedish chef when other people speak it. Well, because that's how we have to do it.

Yeah. Yeah, we don't have a choice. It's such a weird sing-songy language that is not sexy, but it's kind of funny and cute when kids speak it. But then when grown-ups speak it, you go, right, it's just, it's the Swedish chef. Well, that's how, how else do we know? That's how Americans, well, that's,

say I love you again one more time. Jallskade. Jallskade. No, that's. But think about, think about like in a love scene, in a porno. It's not good. That's what I'm saying.

You can't have that. That's why American porn wins. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, I would say Italian or French would be nice too. Yeah. Je t'aime. Oh, yeah.

Ti amo. Yeah. Ti amo. I love you is beautiful too. They're all good choices. Just not in Swedish. Just not in Swedish. Say it again.

It's just not. Jalskade. Jalskade. Jalskede. Jalskede. It's terrible. I don't think you'd say I love you in a porno anyway. Yes, you do.

They all love each other. That's why they have sex, mom. They can't have sex if they're not in love. Right before they get cum in the face. That's right. That's the preemptive.

Jalskede. That's how it works. You can't have sex if you're not in love. Oh, right. No, yeah. It's not a pretty language, but your son was learning it and I liked hearing you talk to him in Swedish, and I thought, I wonder if

that stuff lands, because they say that when kids learn dual languages when they're that young, usually it sticks, but you don't talk to him anymore? It's in there, and he understands a lot of the stuff that I say, and that's why I have to be careful when I am speaking with my family, because there are certain things that he'll pick up on but I just I dropped the ball on that one yeah it's always hard if you don't have someone else you know I'm married to a Brit he doesn't speak Swedish so um what does he speak what do they speak the Brits Britannia yeah Britannia right Britannia yeah goofball language it's also a fake language he's the best your husband is a beautiful curly haired yep sweet british man a sweet goofball like a very and uh great bod by the way shows off his bod in the movie that we did together he gets

he gets naked a few times i feel like well he's shirtless in most of the film he worked out hard for that did he yeah what was he doing oh don't even get me started he all he does all day long is listen to joe rogan and find different workouts this is just his life and do anything ufc that's his actual life so he'll copy what he loves doing like does he do jujitsu and all that stuff or no he used to do jujitsu yeah now he's training with someone boxing maybe or something who cares you don't know it doesn't yeah don't pretend because every week it changes oh really kettlebell workouts and there's some other guy you found on the internet that maybe Joe Rogan has spoken to

on his podcast. Yeah. Or some UFC guy that he's at. Like, it's just, so I don't pay attention anymore. Good. Good for you. Joe was trying to get Kanye West on his podcast or they were trying to organize it, but. That would be an interesting, that would be interesting.

Yeah. Interesting is probably the word. I don't know. It's hard. I think a guy like that. No kidding. I think a guy like Kanye, you have to let fly free, but I don't, I don't know. It's hard. I think a guy like that. No kidding. I think a guy like Kanye, you have to let fly free. But I don't know.

I haven't worked out in, well, two months. Yeah, you can tell. Yeah, Mullen. Andrew, you're always in great shape. But I've been runt ditto. Shut up. But you work out constantly. I do work out.

Constantly. Yeah. I had to stop because, well, first of all, no gyms existed anymore. Nope. And I hadn't put the, I have something in my house now, but it's not as efficient as I want. And I just run at night. So I, but I had to stop running because I got Corona.

Oh my God. Can't run with it. Can't run with it. So I had to stop running. A 12 pack of Corona? I got a 12 pack. Yeah. Yeah.

Actually, I got a 24. Oh, good. Yeah. It was heavy. Yeah. I'm sorry. But I, but it, but got a 24. Oh, good. Yeah, it was heavy. But I couldn't run with it for a while. But I felt like my exercise regimen went down. And I feel like I can't wait to see post-pandy bodies because everyone's going to be out of shape.

Most people. Either that or the opposite. We had like a good two months where we both gained a lot of weight and were not working out. And we were eating nachos and cheese at midnight like every night we're just like oh fuck it wine good food like just anything ordering shake shack living your life living our best lives because we're like the world's gonna end anyway we might die tomorrow so let's just fucking live it and then we're like this is love this is taking longer than we expected so let's let's not do this for the rest of our lives. And then we started working at it again. So now you're back into it?

At home, yeah. I need to get really back into it. I just, it's so hard. It really is hard because- It's hard to get motivated. Motivated. Once you do it, you're fine. Yeah.

But before that, you're like, leave me alone. And once you do it a few times, then you don't want to live without it because then you just don't feel good. And when you don't do it- Right. Right. It becomes a new addiction. One week on and then you'll be good again did you when we were living in vegas did you really did you really ever gamble we had one night where we went out and

you get you didn't huh no i'm not a big gambler i like blackjack sometimes but i always get nervous you know when you sit at a table and then people yell at you if you like hit or stay you taught me pretty well yeah we went i taught you but i you I was like I wonder if you ever like went went back yeah on your own did you have a little uh sneak away no I didn't I lost 75 grand what no I didn't oh my god Andrew 65 no I had one night that I lost a lot of money I do remember that yeah it was bad that was really embarrassing what were you playing blackjack well I won money on craps and then no no I won money on blackjack and then i went over the craps table and i was tanked i mean i lost a lot of money it's craps i was like what is that why did i do that luck isn't it craps isn't that like no no no there's another skill okay i would

say the luck most luck based game would be like roulette is pure luck i mean some people would say there's strategy to it to some degree but when you're throwing on numbers no yeah black and white you can is pretty even divide right that's 49 49 or whatever no you don't gain a lot of money do you you can but it's really hard okay it's hard that's a hard game we'll have to go back to vegas let's go mask it's open they said put your mask on let your hair down that's the ad i got we drove through actually we went through we went to lake mead oh lake mead's so nice oh it's gorgeous did you go right during the pandemic yeah yeah we went because we were like oh let's just go out we want we tried to rent a houseboat but they were all booked up oh yeah so we actually drove through

vegas walked it went back to ca Did you? And everything is like super, you know, kosher. How desolate does it look? It's not super desolate, by the way. Really? It's busy? That's why we were like,

let's just keep moving. We'll keep going to Lake Mead where we were. People are still smoking through their masks. Everything. I mean, you know, but while I don't remember

if you're sitting at the tables because you can drink at the tables, I think you can take your masks off. When you, you can take it but then you have to put it back on right as you're done? I don't know. I didn sitting at the tables because you can drink at the tables. I think you can take your masks off. When you, you can take it, but then you have to put it back on right as you're done. No, I didn't pay that much attention.

Yeah. But I felt like people walked around with their masks, but when they were sitting places, it wasn't as, it might've been at the bars. Yeah. I walked by the barge. Oh,

you did? Yep. Party there pretty hard. We had some fun nights at that Caesars Palace. I've only been one time back, back there. And this is crazy. You're not even going to... This is not a real story.

That's how phony this sounds. I'm dead serious. Nobu is the sushi restaurant that people know of that's in Caesars Palace. They have their own palace or their own tower. And we had gone there a couple thousand times. I don't know. I went all the time. Yeah, you loved it.

This is crazy i was back in vegas doing something i wouldn't know why i was there a gig i think i was gigging and i swear to god on my life i was like i think i'm getting no boo out by myself because the guy i was with was out with friends and i was like no i'll just go eat by myself i go in there i swear on my life the guy at the bar goes hey you're back no i swear to god on my life and i was like god i was here that much that you remember from that long ago i was like i'm back i'm no and then he goes what do you mean it's good to see you and like he kind of thought i was being rude and i was like no no i just do you know do you really remember me or is it is am i a familiar was being rude and I was like no no no I just do you know

do you really remember me or is it is that my familiar face to you and he was like oh you pulled the celebrity card no yes you did no I was like

there's no way he remembers me I actually have my own podcast I was like I'm from Whiskey Dinner maybe you heard about it you asshole get me the fish

he's like no I remember you from Sin City Saints no I was like that's crazy but he was like yeah what do you mean you used to come in all the time and I was like oh my, I remember you from Sin City Saints. No, I was like, how do you? That's crazy. But he was like, yeah, what do you mean? You used to come in all the time. And I was like, oh my God, how crazy.

You did used to go a lot. Yeah, it was too much. Yeah. Well, they would give me per diems and stuff. And I would go right to Nobu and have sushi. Because when people know, if you've ever lived in any hotel for a certain amount of time, the food is miserably sad. Yeah.

Room service is not good. It gets really sad. It's fun for the first week. And then it starts to get really sad. After that, you're depressed. You're like, this is not good. It gets really sad. It's fun for the first week. Yeah, sure. And then it starts to get really sad. After that, you're depressed. You're like, this is not good. Yeah.

It's not good for me. It doesn't even taste that good. It's kind of like, so then all the restaurants in there become monotonous too. It's like burger joint, taco joint. But Nobu was really fresh. Yeah, Nobu. And you're quite memorable, you know? So I'm sure.

Yeah, they know me. Yeah. Well, because I break a glass every time. For interesting reasons. I'm here! And also you, oh, it wasn't at Nobu, but it was at another bar where you mooned the whole crew. Do you remember that? I did. Yeah. Well, because I break a glass every time. For interesting reasons. I'm here! And also you, oh, it wasn't at Nobu, but it was at another bar where you mooned the whole crew. Do you remember that?

I did. Yeah. At our wrap party? Mm-hmm. Yeah. That was at an Irish pub. And what was his name? Sweet.

Is it, was it Kyle? Oh my gosh. One of the young boys who was in our cast, Keith. Oh, Keith Powers, yeah. Do you remember you mooned him in the van? Mm-hmm. And his reaction was it was he's never seen a white guy's tush before never seen it yeah he couldn't believe your ass hair

was red yo your booty hair is red he couldn't believe it we laughed for so long yeah he had never seen hilarious and I get that most people get in shock when they see red booty hair but particularly Keith he couldn't really get over it it was amazing he's gone on to be very he's done successful stuff yeah so so happy for him he's done like sweet kid he's done very well yeah everyone's done very well i'm i'm getting there you've always done i'm getting there you've always done well molly can you tell me genuinely even though you were not going to answer this genuinely because you can't what's the worst project you've ever done uh sin city saints no i'm joking yep it actually isn't that was one of my favorite i had so much fun with our cast i had a blast so you can't tell me what the worst what's the worst thing you've done not saying

that you not saying like not saying like screw the show or screw the people, but like you didn't like your performance and you didn't like the thing. Most things I don't like my performance. I was going to tell you, most things that you've done, I hate too. So yeah. No, come on, tell me. What's the thing where you're like. I don't know. It's so hard to say.

There's, there's. What do you think? How about, what are you the most proud of? The most proud of? I loved, I loved Final Girls. girls yeah do you ever see that no because you're not because you don't ever i'm not the demo that i do i'm not the demo you are the demo i've seen so many other things you've done like what come back kid nope never did that that was you the comeback not come back kid a comeback what's the difference i am off by a word i loved the comeback i loved

i loved heartbreak kid you mix those two together that's what it is helping with stiller yeah that one i loved heartbreak kid and then you did the comeback yeah so i'm not that far off no you just there's i think there is a movie called the comeback kid is there really i think so you you did it with benjamin stiller got to pee on his back. That's his full name. I'll never forget that moment. Pissing on his back? When they were gluing on a merkin. Yeah.

And this is my first movie I've ever done in Hollywood. And literally the costume lady comes into my trailer. She's like, all right, it's time to glue on your merkin. I didn't even know what a merkin was, by the way. I was like, okay. Because pull down your pants. It's like, oh, God. And on it went.

Like, literally glued it on with a pouch of uh no then they had a they had a hole where the tube went yeah so it went between my butt cheeks right down and to like down in between the merkin and then it went off to the side and someone had a pump and they you know as soon as i got on top of ben stiller they start pumping the piss pump guys very what a funny gig they're like he's like mike kill the piss oh my god it was insane people don't know how funny that like to coordinate those kind of scenes are it almost like if you from an outside perspective if you saw the shooting of it it wouldn't be funny at all it'd be kind of like monotonous and it's it's like someone has to get something right and the other guy has to set up and they're like it broke the thing broke and it's like something always happens it's like someone has to get something right and the other guy has to set up and they're like, it broke, the thing broke and it's like something always happens.

It's another day at work. It's just like one of those things but you tell people this and they're like, oh my God, how did it, but you're like, yeah, it's not funny on the day. No.

Everyone's just trying to get the shot and then you don't get the shot. All right, we didn't get the P, we didn't see a clear shot of the P, like let's do it again and everyone's pissed off. Not a lot of laughs. We didn't get the P.

What do you mean? I didn't get it. Well, get it! didn't i didn't get it we'll get it and there's a fight that breaks out about it it is really funny those kind of things so many times of funny scenes of things things that i've shot on the day i thought it was terrible because it took so much to get the funny that you're like at the end you're like that's not funny it's not going to be funny but speaking of funny on set, when we were doing Friendsgiving and you did the hemorrhoid scene, do you remember that scene?

Mm-mm. At the dinner table? We were at, no, we were in the kitchen. It's a kitchen scene and we're getting all the food ready. And you and Chelsea Peretti are next to each other. Yeah. And you had this bit about hemorrhoids

and it was, it is so funny. It's still in there. Oh, it is? Yeah, and there's bloopers afterwards. At the end of the film, you got to watch it all the way through. At's still in there oh it is yeah and there's bloopers afterwards at the end of the film you got to watch it all the way through at the end of the film there's some of the bloopers and it's one of the bloopers is when it was so funny that even the camera guy started laughing oh it was great see that's what i that i don't i love i love seeing it what got left in because you know you do a thousand takes i don't remember to i'm sure i had a hemorrhoids

but sounds like me so good good. Sounds like my bit. Yeah, it was your, it was your best bit. And then, and then, and then Dion Cole, who is,

you know, people already know if you don't already, he's tremendously funny and talented. Dion was so overworked because he was doing blackish and he was doing something else. Standup shows, a bunch of standup. Yeah. So he was in the middle of shooting blackish and he was doing something else. Stand-up shows. A bunch of stand-up. Yeah, so he was in the middle of shooting Black-ish

and doing stand-up on tour and shooting the movie. Yeah. So he was exhausted. I mean, he would sleep on the plane for three hours and then come to work, straight to work.

And he was honest about it. He was like, yo, I'm tired. And I was like, you're fine, bro. Just drink, chug a cup of coffee. We have like an hour left

in this thing. And he would fall asleep constantly. In the middle of his sleep. In the middle of his sleep. I've never like an hour left in this thing. And he would fall asleep constantly. In the middle of a scene. In the middle of a scene. I've never seen someone asleep more. But I felt bad because I was like, he's, it's not like, oh, he's irresponsible.

It's like a dude, he's just straight overworked. And then when it was on him, he was brilliant. Yeah, he would be like. He'd just snap right into it. But it was so funny. I have about 16 pictures on my phone of Dion sleeping. I'm not kidding. That I just would keep taking.

I just posted on my Instagram, actually, like a few pictures from Friendsgiving. And one of them is you and Dion in the background sleeping. Oh, yeah. I had to take a nap too. Yeah. But he. No, you weren't sleeping. Oh, okay.

I was like. You took the picture. Oh. Yeah. I was like. I did. There were some times on the set where I had to take a nap. There were long days.

Yeah. It's an 18 day shoot. Yeah. You had to pack it in. You had to get a whole movie in. Pack in it and you got to pack it in in here we pour whiskey mirror mirror on the wall who's the best brand for my balls it's manscaped it's my little ghoulish tune for manscaped guys are you still using scissors or whatever's laying around the crib to trim up your nuts stop doing that dude

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Use that promo code whiskey. Ginger. I like gingers. Malin, now that you're as successful as you are, and I want people to know this, you've donated 96% of your wealth to charity. yes i have all

almost all of it yes and that's a good thing the whiskey ginger charity to me yeah to you because i could use it actually you need some of the money malin showed me her car on the way in yeah her car seat my car my the your car seat looks like you farted so bad the fucking leather came apart yeah how did the seat rip like that That's like a three-year-old car. Do you want to know something? It was just like a little tiny. No, it's not. It's from 2012.

Really? Yeah. It doesn't look that old. It's my little family car. Yeah. But it literally, over time, of course, it just goes. And then I got a British husband. I blame him for a lot of it.

Oh, the Brits, they do that stuff to cars. They do weird things to cars. But he went and got it detailed for me like as a nice thing very sweet but the guys who detailed the car ripped it even more like it came back and it was just shot to pieces what detail shop did you go to i'm not i'm not even just like a mobile gas station yeah no you should we should plummet their business don't know where get on yelp danny's detail on in pacoimaoima. Well, it's a sweet thing. It's a sweet thing to go get the car detail for the wife. But I will say women's cars, yes, I'm being sexist, are always disgusting inside.

No, they're not. Yes, they are. Almost every woman I've ever dated or been friends with has a dirty car on the inside. Okay, wait. Before I had kids, I was meticulous with my car and then when you have kids kid singular not plural i'm just saying in general when people have kids yeah because women do most of the fucking work and we drive our kids everywhere excuse me you're gonna be sexist i'm gonna be sexist you do most of the work first of all you know what it's just

because i was a single mom for a few years, but I think now it's pretty even. But when you have a family car, it's going to be dirty. There's no point in cleaning it every day because there's shit everywhere. I'm a neat freak. And when I do have a kid, it's going to go in the trunk. I cannot wait. It's going to go in the trunk. Stay.

I cannot wait to see your car when you have a kid. Don't you need to put treats in a little bone for them and then you just put it in the trunk and they get up there? You're going to be a great dad. My dog is going to get in the front seat. I'm going to call social services. My dog in the front seat and my kid in the back.

Dad, shut up! Shut up! In the cage, in the dog cage. Dad! Do you have a dog? Yeah, I got a little pup. I know,

and you just got a new pup. I did get it. I have a, she's almost three now. Wait, yeah, she's almost three and you've got a brand new. I have a, she's almost three now. Wait, yeah, she's almost three. And you've got a brand new. She's a, she's a dirty street LA mutt.

So she, what we, what they told us, we did the DNA thing. Yeah. But they were like, these are only so accurate. Yeah. Because it, so she's Cocker Spaniel, Terrier, Poodle, and. So she's cocker spaniel, terrier, poodle, and... So everything, basically. She's a... Yeah, she's a slut mutt.

She has no... She's an everything and nothing. A slut mutt. She really... She's an LA dog that was a friend of a friend, had gone to get this furniture made downtown LA. And the guy who owned the shop was like, a dog gave birth in my garage. A random dog?

A dog had wandered in the garage at night because the gate was left open. And she gave birth to these puppies and then she left the puppies. She left the puppies.

Which means she went to die. They say that they leave them before six weeks if they're sick and they're going to die. That's terrible. Yeah, the mom's dead.

So thanks for bringing it up. This is a terrible story. Well, Malin, thanks for bringing it up. No, but the good news is all the puppies got adopted. Of course, puppies get adopted like that. And we got the run to the litter. And my friend of a friend, she had gotten the dog and posted on Instagram. She's like, I have too many animals at the crib.

I just wanted to take this off this guy's hands. Does anybody the dog and then oh my god i said come to my house i'm shooting but i'll see you at the house um tonight and we'll have a drink and bring that pup just for fun and then i was like we gotta sleep on it oh you actually slept on it no no no you took it right away i was like leave the dog of Yeah. That's what we said. We were just going to start fostering dogs. Yeah. Just so that my son would have. Animals around.

Animals because he's been bugging us for a dog. Yeah. I was actually away shooting in Boston last summer and. What were you shooting? I was shooting the sleepover. Yeah. Oh. That just came out.

It's out. Yep. That you didn't see. Yes, I did actually. Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Really? really yeah it was you and uh and and uh my buddy ken marino yeah i love playing parents of kids who are getting up to no good they're actually trying to save us right i did see the movie i'm just doing I did see the movie. Oh, cool. Thanks for watching. Yeah, Netflix. Yeah. Netflix. Yeah, it was Netflix.

It was good. It's a fun family film. Yeah. Well, you and Ken are very funny. Oh, I love Ken. I've known him for so long. Is that weird playing? Right, because you guys met on Children's.

We did Children's Hospital for six years together. I did one episode and you weren't there that day. I know. I remember that. I did one episode and you weren't there. I know. And you know who I did that episode of Children's Hospital with? Who?

Brian Doyle Murray, Bill Murray's brother. Oh, my God. You know how many people? Nobody. A lot of people that are younger, I guess, that might be fans might not know, but you've seen Brian Doyle Murray. Whether or not you know it's Bill Murray's brother is because he looks nothing like him. He co-wrote Caddyshack and was the

um he was the uh uh what what caddy headmaster in Caddyshack who breaks up the fight between Danunez and those but but he now he's he's got this stocky deep boy but we did that scene together and I was so nervous because I really admire him oh i love and i was in the room in the little in our little like bullshit waiting rooms you know like uh which is an old hospital yeah it's an old hospital room and you're just sitting there kind of like creeped out nervous waiting to go in and he walked by a few times and i just didn't want to bother him but i had a cubs hat on uh before i was changing and he goes you cubs guy Cubs guy? And I was like, perfect. I knew it was a good break.

And I was like, I am. And he's like, great. I love Chicago. And then we started talking. And to me, that made the $300 check worth it. Yeah. Yeah, it didn't pay much. No.

I owed them money. They called. They were like, you owe us six grand. I was like, what the fuck? That's how you met Ken doing that, huh?'t pay much. No. I owed them money. They called. They were like, you owe us six grand. I was like, what the fuck? That's how you met Ken doing that, huh? Children's Hospital. On Children's. Yeah, that's how I met Ken.

Great cast on that show. That show is so funny. Henry Winkler, Megan Mullally. Oh my God, that's right. Rob Corddry, Rob Hubel. Yeah, Corddry and Hubel. Aaron Hayes, Lake Belt. It was just a brilliant, funny cast.

So many times there's shows like that where you're like, how many fucking funny cool people were on a show party down had kind of the same thing yeah funny amazing talented people were on one show yeah that was that is really strange little hidden gems well and they're always kind of indie shows right they can't really ever do that on big tv it never really works for some reason i think now it's starting to come to big tv like i think trying um the spinoff of uh children's hospital medical police is on hulu now right so it's starting to like but still indie right a bit quirky yeah yeah it's just hard for like big network to get involved with that kind of stuff because it's really risky for them no but even cable cables at some point

does mimic network sometimes where you're like i thought this is a fucking risky cable network and you're like no they still gotta they're still playing their cards like this fx show i will give them credit fx lets them do us me and as well whatever the fuck we i don't think that's so great they never they've never given any like you guys can't say that or talk about that stuff how awesome is that yeah it's really it's really cool because you're worried that you're like oh we're gonna make something a fun joke and they're gonna be like this is insensitive yeah which you know rightfully so go for it but but i remember doing trophy wife on abc i remember having that's right the

working for the mouse abc mouse. And I remember having meetings because I was producing on that show as well. And we'd have meetings with a guy who came in to talk about lewd language. And he said, you can only say two fucks and you can only say one shit. And you can only say, like there was a certain amount of reps

that you were allowed to say. Two fucks and a shit. Two fucks and a shit. I can give two fucks and a shit. Could that be the name of the show? Two fucks and a shit. That's a great name for a show. Welcome back to two fucks and a shit. Are you sure it's not two shits in a shit i can give two fucks in a shit could that be the name of the show two fucks in a shit that's a great name welcome back to two fucks in a shit are you sure it's not two shits in a fuck i feel like fuck should be less than shits really yeah because isn't fuck more vulgar than shit yeah oh i see in that way but i just thought in a day what do you do

like one shit and two fucks i guess you could do you could do it either way i mean it depends on your lifestyle but you but you say way worse words than that. I mean, the stuff that you text me is, I'm like, God. There's nothing. What's worse than fuck? You say racial epithets to me. It's disgusting.

The language you use is insane. I know. I know. It's just too much. So what, you had a meeting about that? Yeah, and that was it. And that was sort of like, they set the,

and then he's like, maybe in the second or third season, you can have three fucks in the season. Like, literally, these were the conversations. To write a letter for another fuck it was such a funny conversation may we have another fuck please pretty much that's our show is it's fx so literally anything goes i mean it's it's not but i did think they were going to censor us a little bit i'm not gonna lie when i first went into it i was like like, we were doing a scene where we were sitting at a umami burger. Like the guys were all talking about

how he's afraid of going down on his girlfriend or whatever or doesn't know how or whatever. We're trying to like get him into the mood of like be a man and like that's what you got to do. And we went around the table

for like 10 minutes. I remember that scene. Yeah, and I was like, they'll never'll never you i literally they'll never use this and and jeff uh schaefer the ep was like he's like yeah we might i was like no way dude they're like this guy's talking about like um the drip the drip from the puss to the tush it was i was like there's no way that's gonna get i don't think that no that phrase didn't get on but that was very funny and it was mine and it should have landed oh my god but there i was like there's no way that's going to get. I don't think that. No, that phrase didn't get on. But that was very funny. And it was mine. And it should have landed.

Oh, my God. But I was like, there's no way they're going to let. But they ended up letting most of that kind of stuff on. Yeah, it was a great scene. I was surprised. I was surprised, too, when we watched that. We've only watched the first. I guess that was the pilot.

Or did we watch two episodes, maybe? Oh, there's 10 episodes, bud. Yeah, I know. You can always watch all of them. We're going to get through them gonna you're a busy bee i know it's not even that it's just that we're watching like pokemon and shit like that kids stuff constantly huh give him a tv yeah i'm not even watching it with him but what i'm saying is that by the time he goes to bed at like 8 30 the last thing i want to do is throw on the tv again

you're already when you hear it all day long. You're already wasted at that point. I'm so wasted. Baked out of your head drunk. High as a kite. Wasted. What are you going to say when your son is older and he goes, Mom, did you ever do drugs when you were my age when he's 15, 15, 16? I'm going to be honest about weed. Yeah. But nothing

else. You're not going to mention anything else? Nope. He's going to see this. No, he's not. I didn't do anything. I only did this. No, he's not. I didn't do anything. I only did weed. No, he's not. I didn't do anything. It's a generational thing that our parents never had to go through. My parents could lie to my face forever until I got older.

And now it's like my mom is the most... Now my parents want to smoke weed. Yeah. My mom wants edibles. My aunt... That's amazing well i sent home home i sent a lot of stuff home um a good friend of ours uh this guy gino who has a company called speed weed and he gave me a care package because my aunt has cancer and uh sent me

like this wonderful care package for her and once that kind of broke the mold of like this stigma for my parents' generation, I think they were like, oh shit, okay, this is beneficial for people both medical and mental. Some people just fucking need it and like it. Yeah. And I think it changed my mom's perspective. I think I truly do.

Also, one of my mom's best friends who died of cancer was into medical marijuana in the late 80s, early 90 90s before it was like even a thing she was like one of the first medical patients in illinois she would um she would get uh tincture or yeah like the compressed liquid yeah thc and take some and i think she you know she was embarrassed and what hit it and my mom you know was kind of like you know like this is weird that you're like doing drugs because it was unheard of but i think that changed my mom's perspective on like yeah what helps people you know when you see the effects of it i mean there was one documentary about a guy i think he had parkinson's and he was so shaky and then he'd smoke a joint and he would just calm down the parkinson's would stop completely and you just go i mean i i've been

mostly a wino my whole life um i love wine i'm a big fan you like wine i like wine and tequila um yeah you do i hate tequila i know but i love it so much but i just it's just not it's just not good like and then you feel like shit the next day and i'm so i'm trying to get into weed now yeah i'm really like i love edibles yeah um because that's easy because night time you can what night time or day time do you like afternoon time right like do you like it to coast down into the evening yeah okay do you ever take them in the middle of the day and have like a day on them if it's like a sunday maybe okay yeah yeah okay but i don't want to like most of the time my son might be around so that's why the edibles are nice, because they don't mess with you so much.

Do you give them to him, too? Just a little bit. Of course. Because it's gummies. Yummy gummies. Yeah. Here's your yummy gummy vitamin. These are mommy's yummy gummies.

No, but I think that, I actually think that weed is so much better than alcohol. It is better for you. In the long run, yeah. Yeah, but alcohol tastes great. I know. It makes you feel good. I know. Okay?

I know. It's so hard. And you can dance a lot cooler on booze than you can weed. Can you? It's not that you're a better dancer. No. I've seen you on a lot of alcohol dancing. Excuse me.

I am a dancing queen when I'm lit up drunk. Yes, you are. And I don't dance like that when I'm high on weed. I'm conscious when I'm on weed. If I'm stoned, dancing on weed, I think about it a little bit too much. I'm like, I wonder if I look like an idiot. But when I'm drunk I'm like I wonder if I look like an idiot but when I'm drunk I'm just like I look like an idiot and I don't care you just don't care when you're wasted no that's the thing about booze that's like those social inhibitors are gone and weed does the opposite for most people is it's you're more conscious you're more

high I feel like I don't know I just giggle the whole time that's yeah yeah you still have that yeah yeah I can't do it socially because I'm just laughing at everyone see know. I just giggle the whole time. Yeah, yeah. You still have that. Yeah, I can't do it socially because I'm just laughing at everyone all the time. See, I can easily do it socially and be in the groove, but for me, it's such a relaxant. Like, it's such a... I don't get...

Like, on booze, I get hyped up. Yeah. Same. I can't get that excitement. Yeah, it's like a night out with tequila and wine. Yeah, with the girls or the boys. I don't care.

With the boys and the girls? The boys and the girls. Whoa. yeah with the girls with the boys i don't care with the boys and the girls the boys and the girls whoa yeah we go we go across have you had a night out since pandy or no have you had a date night do you know what yes i've had date night we've done like the outdoor dining yeah it's kind of depressing though it's very sad the energy isn't there as the way it used to be of course and all like the glass barriers and all that kind of stuff but it's still nice to get out and be served yeah it was lovely and i did have a girl's night out with one of my girlfriends who is sister from another mother who's been part of our little pod the whole time right so we went out we sat on a rooftop downtown and then we ended up going to another little spot and drinking wine and they were open to like two o'clock outside wow drinking till two o'clock and i was hung over the next day and i haven't done that in a while yeah but yeah

it was it was fun to just let loose i mean let loose at a table but it was still i was out with my girlfriend like we raged lots of lots of alcohol we were sitting there in the same spot hard but we raged do you feel like i it's strange to me because life was so fast Before yeah, I feel like if I had a night of just having a couple of drinks with friends or whatever the next morning I never felt it because i'm you're up and you're gone and you're going Yeah, but now even if I had a couple of drinks with a friend now for some reason my days are harder because i'm like I just there isn't as much get up and go because there's not as much that I have to do on my schedule now It feels weird. It's hitting me me I I do I think that's age by the way am I getting

older yeah a little bit but I took this pill to hopefully yeah well what was it Viagra yeah yeah different blue chew yeah actually I'm happy that I'm getting older because I was very ugly as a kid and I and I think I'm like starting hit my, it's working. You're a very handsome ginger. You always have been. And you don't have to say ginger. You could just say guy. Well, you're a ginger. You Swedish.

You know I love you. You Swedish ass. So much. You know what? But I do feel better about, because you don't know what it's like, Malin. You were cute as a kid. You were pretty as a young girl.

I will show you. And now you're pretty as a woman. the rest of us didn't have that luxury i'm gonna show you a picture of myself i'm gonna send it to you yeah of me at my awkward stage it is fucking awkward oh yeah yeah what was it braces was it you had braces that wasn't the awkward part it was what was teeth were growing out of my fucking face in all different directions and it was it was awkward i was like a little gangly skeleton were you how tall were you i was bullied at two different schools and teased a lot stop it swear to god i had to change schools i used to sit in the bathroom of one of the schools because there was a girl who wanted to cut all my hair off and she got

all my friends to turn on me so i'd go into the girl's bathroom at recess and at lunch and I'd sit on top of the bathroom, on top of the toilet, my feet up and I'd read, are you there? God, it's me, Margaret. Shut up. Swear to God. This is like from a movie. I'm telling you. Why did you get picked on so much?

I don't know. Wait a minute. How old was this though? I was fifth grade. So how old were you then? You're like 11? In fifth grade, you're like 10 or 11. Yeah.

But why? Because this is in Canadia. This is in Canadia. And what city were you in? It was Toronto, and it wasn't a great school. Yeah. It was very... Rough, tough, and tumble, huh?

Yeah, it was pretty rough, tough, and tumble. Look at you. Did they mock you because you were just like this i don't know it was this girl who just had it out for me and when i think back to it now i mean she had cut off all her own hair like this is a 10 year old you're going she probably had it real rough at home yeah her parents and you know saw me and and picked me out of the crowd and was just that was it i was i was her and and everyone was scared of her do you remember her name i don't remember her name well we have her come on in kayla johnson she still got crazy hair she's like hey molyne i'm a fan yeah all the people that were damaged

and crazy like that when when you're young um they're they it didn't work out that well for them so no i wouldn't think so i think about her every now and then whenever it comes up, like bullying comes up, and I just... You see her face? I don't think it worked out well. I don't see her face. I just see her crazy hair. Yeah.

You know, because that was unusual for a girl to cut off, chop off her hair in all these different directions at 10 years old. She really wanted to cut you, huh? Yeah. She ran around with scissors. She's like, I'm going to cut your hair off. It's like, oh, my God. Weird thing to do to do yeah it was really random and weird and it was terrible girls are so boys are mean but girls are like treacherous like boys are mean right psychological

warfare right what you guys do is so so fucked up to each other it's gross it's just not nice and you hold it against other girls for years and years men let weird shit go you just yeah you guys don't know how to do that simpler well we're dumb but it's better simpler is a nicer way okay but i'd rather be simple and let it go than just let it fester that's why i hung out with mostly guys yeah i have like a handful of really great female friends and then the rest of my friends are dudes i'd rather hang out with dudes you guys are easy well you were were you tomboyish is that why probably yeah because you were athletic as a hippie i wasn't really athletic i was more of a hippie but you are athletic though i am sort of well i was a figure skater that's athletic yeah how's it yeah that's it is but you don't have

you ever seen me on skates social you know what i mean right you're it's a solo solo kind of thing a loner thing i was alone alone i did not speak until i was 16 i was super shy super awkward really yeah and all my guy friends all my friends were guys because i just hung out with them because they were just easy and how many of those guys want wanted to hook up and you well i found out later that yeah isn't that funny yeah like molly's the best she's our best friend and everyone's like yeah but a lot of them didn't a lot of them wanted tits you know what i mean i didn't have that to offer oh yeah so a lot of them i remember one guy coming back from a date with a girl and all the guys were making fun of him they're like why why'd you go out with her man she's fat and like they were terrible they were awful about it it was that's all boys talk i know but it was terrible

i was like guys and he just went, you know what? She's super confident. She knows what she's doing in bed. And that was it. And all the guys just shut up right there. And it was like, all right. And from that day on, I just went, yeah, it's confidence. It has nothing to do with looks.

It just is, it really is what shines through at the end of the day. It does have a lot to do with looks. Oh, you're so bad. Mr. Hollywood. Would you ever, did you ever date a really unattractive person yeah you really did ask my friends i remember them going what the fuck you went out with a guy that most of your friends were like oh my god that guy's so ugly yeah definitely really yeah definitely in high school there was why he was just a nice guy no i thought he was i thought he was cool looking i really have like a range of what i like i like

weird shit like your taste in men is just i love um um oh what's his name from the crow the bad guy by the bad guy in The Crow. Michael. Wait, who? With like acne scars and like the long, oh, I just love shit like that. Wait, who in The Crow? Yeah. We're referencing movies for people that don't know from 38 years ago.

He's the bad guy in The Crow. Why can't I think of, and people at home are like, because I think I go to brandon lee no it's not brandon lee oh michael wincott oh michael wincott that's my that's my jam he's like old and sad i mean this is when he wasn't it was when he was in the crow he's kind of creepy looking and you know when he was in the crow in 94 right yeah there you go but like it was always just kind of this off there was always something about how to be in the eyes and it had nothing to do with.

Something in the eyes. Yeah. And I've had handsome guys too. I'm not saying that I haven't, but it's not necessarily. For me, it was really, either you got to be really funny. Yeah. Or you got to be really dark and fucked up. Yeah.

Luckily I ended up with someone funny. Yeah. He's funny. Yeah. He's not dark at all. Yeah. It was good that it went that way. He's goofy funny too. He's like very like lighthearted and. Yeah, he's not dark at all. Yeah, it was good that it went that way. He's goofy funny too.

He's like very like lighthearted and jovial. And he's got like a happy sensibility, which is interesting because most Brits are very, have very dark, snarky senses of humor. He doesn't really have that. No, he doesn't have the snarky. He grew up loving American comedies as well. That was sort of his jam. But also, he's really he grew up loving american comedies as well that was sort of his jam but also he got he's going on nine years sober now and so he really kind of went a different direction with

his life than sitting at a pub and like drowning his miseries in a in a beer which is what most of england is yeah and that's sort of what it is just that sensibility that just so he kind of i think and now i'm speaking i may be speaking out of you know what it's called what's that expression out of turn out of turn but i disagree with that it shouldn't be called that yeah it's a weird expression speaking on turn there's no one else here it's you it's your turn it's your turn you're not speaking on turn but i just think that i love what that whatever whoever he's become whatever it was that made him who he is he's got this he does have a lightness to him and maybe it is maybe it has something to do with that maybe

it's just who he is but um i think when you do a lot of self-work and you realize and appreciate the things that you do have in life it just you become a lighter person totally you walk through life just appreciating um and being thankful and that really is who he is to the core. And I love that about him. He can turn things around and he can really just talk to himself. He has a good, good dialogue with himself, which not a lot of us do. We can have like, I don't at all. I don't talk to my, I don't even want to know me. I want to get, I want to get out of this thing as fast as I can. I don't want to know me at all. Is it weird? Two things.

One, I'm interested because I guess I knew he was sober because didn't have any drinks when we went to that pool bar in Hollywood. Yeah. Is that weird for you to? No, I didn't know. You never would have guessed. That's the thing. But does he care that you have drinks around the house?

Not at all. Never bothers him? Not at all. Wow. Not a thing. He actually prefers me drunk. Yeah. I mean, we all do.

You're miserable when you're not. No, not at all. When you start getting grumpy, you're like, I'm not going to drink. She needs to... And also, did you think you were going to get married again? No. You thought, no way, huh? I was hell-bent against it. Actually against it actually when i met him i just said and he's seven years younger than me so i was like oh

honey yeah it was that like you know old lady like um yeah old broadway let me show you something i got my kid i got my career i'm never getting married again i'm never having more kids and he went great for him that was like perfect. No strings attached. It's true. Amazing. So much fun. And I said, listen, I'm, and I was serious. I was gathering some of my girlfriends.

We were looking for land to like start our own little commune where we'd have our own homes, but we'd have like a communal space and raise our kids together. Perfect. Don't have to, I'd have a Rolodex of people that i can bring in and out for booty calls i told them everything all of this is like so you're going back to england anyway in two months so if you want to hang out for a while cool it's like this is and he tells stories like he felt like he hit the jackpot because he didn't want to get married or have kids either well but then he met me then he met you two weeks but for both of us two weeks, we both just kind of went, oh, shit, this is bigger than what we thought it was going to be.

So, but the catalyst to get married again changed because you were like, I just, I want to make a, I want to have a family unit again. Do you know what? He was, he jumped in and is the most amazing stepfather ever. He's an incredible dad. Props to stepdads. I got one and props to stepdads. Yeah, exactly. You have a lovely stepdad. I met your stepdad. Yeah He's an incredible dad. Props to stepdads. I got one in props to stepdads.

Yeah, exactly. You have a lovely stepdad. I met your stepdad. Yeah, they're the best. If you can get a good one, you got a good one. Oh my God. He's unbelievable. They love each other more than I.

And I saw that connection. And I just went, wow, this is, I want this family unit. And it wasn't so much about the actual marriage. Marriage thing, yeah. That is, it does make it easier in this country when you are married for many different reasons. We travel a lot. You know, like all of those things like health care.

Money, life, kid. All of that stuff ties in. If I didn't have the kid, I don't know that we would. But I know that he, it was his first time. Again, he didn't want to get married either. But then when we were so deep into it and so in love, I mean, he proposed nine months into it. At the Cheesecake Factory,

right? Yeah. It's his favorite. Did I ever tell you that though? No. It wasn't at the Cheesecake Factory, but he does, he would.

Does he really like it? When he first moved out here, he was like, I'm going to take you on the best date. There is this place, it's in Marina Del Rey. It's called the Cheese, you know,

this Brit. And I'm like, the Cheesecake Factory? And he goes, oh yeah, it's so beautiful. It's so good i was like all right okay so we ended up going but we had my son with us with us as well that night

and we went to the cheesecake factory and he walked in he goes oh right i was drinking back then when i first came here yeah doesn't quite look the same or hit the same standard so mysterious at one point yeah they had a menu from all of the the food of the world by the way shout out cheesecake factory is actually good i all jokes aside it's good every time i go because it's salt and butter and fat and you're like what do you want we have all of it it might not be the most it listen it's super fun i think it's more like a family a family affair but but and it wasn't maybe the most the most romantic date night but still but uh but the food is it's totally it hits it's legit it's legit so he but because i always think about that like i have

friends are getting married for the second time and i've said this very adamantly and i mean it and i know people like you don't know i do know me if i know me yeah if i'm if if i no longer am married if this doesn't work yeah I'm never doing it again. I'll never do it again. That's what I said. I'll never, only because I think I just, I know me. It's like, I just like, yeah. I just think like, oh, this is, I'm going to do this this time.

Huh? I thought you didn't want to know you, but now you're saying you do know you. I know me and I don't like it and I don't like it at all. No, I, I think, I think it's cool to, like, okay, does he call? It's fun to have an experience. Yeah, it's nice. It's a right of parents. Does he, does your son call him dad?

He does now, yeah. Wild, huh? He also calls his, so he has his papa and his dad. And he loves both of them. Biological father. Biological father. And it really works out well. And my ex really likes Jack and is really happy that he's in Sebastian's life.

Like it's so. Should be though. You know, he's a good guy. Yeah. But you never know. Like the exes, that whole situation of exes. But I feel like that's more in the movies than it is in real life. You always see like the ex-husband and it's like, here to pick up the kid.

And then you talk to your friends and it's like, no to pick up the kid. And then you talk to your friends and it's like, no, they get along because this is a world that we have to operate in because we're adults. I guess you're right. At some point,

I almost know nobody that doesn't just do the right thing for the kid. Yeah, exactly. You can hate each other. Yeah. But you just like do the right thing and you just are like,

I'm glad that he's... I used to call my stepdad before I said dad, I called him my Jeff. That's, I used to call my stepdad before I said dad. I called him my Jeff. That's what I said to my mom. Oh, that's really sweet. Well, because I didn't know how to call him. I was too young to understand dad.

You're 26? That's not dad. How old were you? 32. Yeah, okay. And I didn't understand dad as a, well, you don't, but it's not your dad in my mind. Yeah, yeah. And you didn't understand i didn't get it yet right so i just called him my jeff because i thought that's really cute he was my

jeff and to this day you know my jeff and my mom also makes fun of uh she wrote me in my birthday card she had said um the day that i stopped calling her mom i started calling her by her first name and it's so and i did it as a kid for some reason a little kid like unconsciously maybe because i heard her like friends or people around say it but she thought it was so funny so i said it for years and now when i call her i do that when i pick up the phone you call her by her name yeah when she picks up i goes hello you never call her mom i always go hello maureen oh my god that she goes hey babe maureen's a great name i don't say mom i don't I rarely say mom. I don't, I really don't.

Sebastian, well, he says mama all the time. But when he's telling people about me, he's like, and you know, Malin, she's my mom. It's really fantastic. Malin, my mother Malin. He's walked up to someone once before. He's grasped the concept now that I'm in films. He sees, he's got to see. Sure. And there's paparazzi.

He's like, why are those people taking pictures of us? And so I'm just honest about it. And I said, you know, it's because of this and this. And somebody shouted out something. We were on our way to a flea market and they were like, yeah, I loved you in Rampage, man. And he was like, what's that? And I went, oh, it's a movie that I did.

It's one where I got eaten by a giant gorilla. I showed him that scene. He's like, oh my God. He was really upset about it at first. And then I'm like, but I'm still here. Like I'm still alive. He's like, I know, but if that gorilla does that shit again.

Oh, he's into punching everything that's wrong. If somebody says that black lives don't matter, I'm going to punch him in the face. Like everything is, I'm going to punch him in the face. I like this guy because I'm, that's, I think I might've left that behind. Oh yeah?

Yeah, because my violence, I think maybe he fell that for me when he was one in Vegas maybe yeah because I did teach him to punch stuff yeah I go you don't like stuff you punch it you understand that's what you do kid oh but I love I love all the conversations and he walked up to someone right after that incident and someone shouting that out we were we walked into a flea market and he wanted to pet a dog and he's like can I go pet I said yeah go ask them and he'd walked up and we heard it in the earshot and he wanted to pet a dog, and he's like, can I go pet it? I said, yeah, go ask them. And he had walked up, and we heard it in the earshot, and he goes, hey, I was just wondering if I could pet your dog. I mean, my mom's in a movie.

She's in Rampage. She's actually a movie star, so maybe you'll let me pet your dog. Shut up! Oh, my God! He's doing it good. This is crazy. And you go, very good, very good. It's not. See if they'll give you the dog.

My mom is famous. Can I have your dog? But now he's telling me scenes that he would do. I'm about to actually go off and do a vampire film. Where are you going? In New Mexico. Ooh, that's where all the vampires are. I know.

I can't wait. I thought they were in New Orleans. It's hot in here. Yeah. But he's like, am I going to be in the movie? I was like, no, buddy. You're not going to be. He's like, well, if I was in the movie, I mean, i would punch them all in the face maybe you should get him in like explaining the

scene of how the scene would go down he's like yeah mom i'm gonna be the kid like who's on his device who's like just telling people to go go punch him go punch the vampires but i'm still gonna be really cool and on my device it's like oh god does he have an iphone no no no no but he gets an ipad on the weekends he gets to play video games that's cool that okay that's a cool restriction if he does his chores he has chores every morning and then if he does his chores all week he gets roblox that's what he loves and he gets five dollars on the weekend he gets either five dollars cash for doing his chores or he gets five robux what is that like like it's like so you can buy things like online buy a pet and you can buy yeah

online like in the game robux yeah robux roblox i can't wait to i can't wait to experience the nonsense of that world and you get five robux yep oh it's ridiculous i think well but but cash is king he obviously takes the cash sometimes nope he doesn't oh you gotta teach him cash is king i know i've told i've taught him but he just he doesn't want Oh, his Robux. You got to teach him. Cash is king. I know. I've taught him, but he just needs... He doesn't want it. I'm so into the video games right now. If he said, Mommy, I want to get into movies, what do you do? Come on, man.

Be honest. I really don't want him to. Yeah, you don't. I really don't. That's a bad idea. Because look at what it did to you. I was never a child actor. I know, but being an actor, look what it's done to you.

I mean, it's significant damage. I know. Listen. You but being an actor, look what it's done to you. I mean, it's significant damage. I know, listen. You could have been a wholesome person at one point. Yeah, and now I'm a shit show. But you don't want him involved in this entertainment industry, why? Not as a kid.

I don't mind. If he really wants to, when he turns 18, he can go for it. But as a kid, I just think it does something to kids. Some kids get out scot-free, but most of them have some shit go on

that just kids shouldn't deal with the adult world just yet. I want kids to be kids. I couldn't agree more. But then, you know, there's going to be kids in film and stuff. And whose kids are they then? I guess they must exist. Right?

Just not mine. Yeah, you and I. I've just seen it firsthand. And I just, and again, this is not all kids. I've seen some kids who have come out and they're fantastic. But I think the percentage is bigger on the other end. Yeah, look, we know the truth. again this is not all kids i've seen some kids who have come out and they're fantastic but i think the percentage is bigger on the other yeah we look we know the truth you and i know that you

were a child actor right no oh okay i didn't start acting till till 10 years ago 10 years really 10 or 11 years ago were you doing stand-up before then though yeah yeah and i by say started acting i mean they let they let me in the back door you know in the back door I'm never the guy they wanted the red carpet they're always like well we don't want to see you can you sneak around back

because your hair clashes just because of my face they go we don't need a picture of this guy could you go in the back could you just hide out in the back until we

you have the loveliest smile they go they go Mr. Santino it's good that you're here they reserve to see for you by the dumpster out back thank you

it's the best spot anyway. I think the kids, the kid, look, let's be honest. I can say it. You don't have to. I don't have to protect myself. Kid actors are psychopaths.

They creep me the fuck out. It's, I just, they're lovable, nice kids. I'm sure they're good people. They scare me because they talk like adults. Like a kid actor will go,

hello, it's very nice to meet you. I'm like, you're four. What the fuck is going on? Tell me poop talk. What are you go hello it's very nice to meet you i'm like you're four what the fuck is going on tell me poop talk what do you do it's very strange they're two seasons it can be strange i think they've there's some people who have found the happy medium now which has been really interesting to watch and maybe it's because of the past crazies yeah the chaos that now they're kind of like finding that perfect balance of letting them be kids and doing this work.

Um, but there have been kids definitely the where it's like, you know, get me a, get me a grilled cheese sandwich or give me, I'm, I wanted this. And you're like,

excuse me, what? And somebody gets it for him. Yeah. And that's the problem. No, see, that's the problem.

So if I had a kid in the business, I'd be like, nobody get, get him anything. Right. He has to go get his own stuff. He'd talk to him like a kid. Like, it's just, this is, you know.

But that's why I just wouldn't, I just wouldn't do it. Well, I got to tell you, he's a cute, he's a cute kid. So he might end up being in the biz. Okay, thanks for that support. Well, you know. Listen, I know. It's your fault. Make an ugly kid.

I'm going to make an ugly kid. They're going to have no chance. It's great. Yes. I'm going to have a four-tooth, one-eye bald, a singular eye kid. Might look like your wife. You never know. That's what I'm talking about.

Limpy leg, one leg really tall, one leg very short. She doesn't ever listen to your podcast, does she? That's why you can say anything. I don't let her. I don't let her. She's not allowed out of the cage at this time of day. And no music, no dancing. I say, you sit. She's in the trunk with the kid uh malin we end every episode the exact same way i i want you to look into the camera and you say one word or one phrase that's going to end the episode

and this is important particularly because this is how they're going to remember you okay one word or one phrase when i walk off camera you finish the episode go ahead in here we pour whiskey Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.