Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Michael Peña

Episode Date: March 3, 2023

Andrew Santino sits down with the talented Michael Peña to talk about how he got into acting, stories about his parents being deported, Santino's rage on the golf course, and a whole lot more. Don Cheadle is $$$$! #michaelpeña #andrewsantino #whiskeyginger #podcast ======================== SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! RABBIT HOLE $5 OFF with Promo Code: WHISKEY https://rabbitholedistillery.com/drizly SQUARESPACE Get that site up and running now! 10% off your order https://squarespace.com/whiskey MANSCAPED For 20% Off + Free Shipping https://manscaped.com/whiskey ======================== Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Pena. Michael Pena, what an incredible actor. What a brilliant dude. So cool. So wonderful to get in touch with him to dive deep into the history of his career. I have a special on Netflix right now. If you haven't seen it, Cheeseburger, please watch it. Please watch it, you know, and tell some people about it my friends uh enough rambling let's go to the episode in here we pour whisk and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are pugilistic. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no.

This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today.

It is the first time this gentleman's been on the show, so happy to have him, Michael Peña. Que pasa, Michael? Also, I have the, and you saved in my phone, I have the accent, Peña, over the,

It's called the tilde. I say, I call it accent because you have to have an accent when you say Peña. Oh, I thought you meant accent like Peña. Peña. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Peña.

Because otherwise I would say, Michael Peña. Yeah, they used to call me Jalapena. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Peña. Because otherwise I would say Michael Peña. Yeah, they used to call me Jalapena. No. Yeah, in high school. I don't like that. I don't like that at all. Yeah, dude.

And where are they now? Where are the bullies? Chicago, Marist. Shite Town. You're Shite Town, right? Wait, where are these bullies now that called you? No, no, it was the coach. It was the wrestling coach.

Hey, you fucking Jalapena. Come on, Jalapena. What are you doing? He's like, you know, but you know how it is in Chicago. It wasn't meant like in a, you know, like super racist. It was like to toughen you up a little bit. But was it racist? A little bit.

Yeah, it was. But it was, you know what I mean? It's a Chicago racist, which is a little different. Right. It was good hearted. It was like. You can't do that shit now, though. Nah, you get fired.

That dude gets fired. Yeah, that dude gets fired for sure. And he never works again. Picking off the sticker. Dude, this is a brand new. This guy gets G4 hats sent to him. So that's just why. Well, look, you get PXG, you get clubs.

Leave the sticker on, baby. Dude, no, I can't do it. Remember when that was popular back in the day? Leaving stickers and tags on hats? Yeah. It was hot, man. I never understood it, but you know what? But you know what it was?

You know what the thing was? It was stickers and tags, but it was also the birth of like um it was like how like how much like they they would just do just stickers it would be like hologram stickers started to appear you know what i mean like then they stepped the sticker game up did you ever see that key and peel sketch about that about who had the bigger hat oh yeah at the, yeah, yeah. At the very end, he had just like a woman like sewing a hat on his head like an Asian lady. I was like, that was the exact,

that was the exact idea that everyone thought of when they're like, oh, who's the next level? Those dudes did it, probably some of the best, Key and Peele, and you know,

now Jordan is struggling financially. They're both struggling. They're not working, those guys. Did you see, I couldn't, I can't believe the stuff that they got away with. I mean, but they're the ones writing it, but the slave auction?

Yeah, it was great, dude. That was such a funny sketch. What the hell? Like, who thinks of that? And by the way, who okays that? Comedy Central. They got balls. They got balls, dude.

Well, they also shut down. So, I mean, they're gone. Well, I mean, now they're only a digital company I don't think they're doing anything on air anymore they're not like part of the cable

networks I think they're just a Viacom subsidiary now at this point I think we are too you know more than me you know more than me we probably are

at this point right now I dude I basically now dude it's changed so much I like watch YouTube more than anything well that's what we're on right now

that's the best part about it I think I think now everything's going to become one place. I think you're going to one machine, whatever the biggest thing, Google owns everything already. You're just going to literally talk to your TV and be like, show me this.

And it'll just give you, you know, I think they'll also do, show me Michael Peña and Charlize Theron and Billy Bob Thornton in an action, horror, black and white film. And it'll blend those three movies together. And make it for you. And make it for you.

I will start to dismay. Like Bruce Willis, didn't he sold his, he sold his. NFC? No, he sold him, I can't even speak. He sold his likeness. Do you know this? No. To be used like in perpetuity because he quit acting

right well because he can't because physically i think he's ill right yeah but he sold his likeness so that they could put him in movies and film using his face his image and his voice they did a rendering that's online you can see it's and it's pretty good unreal there's a dude oh yeah like the fake whatever the like deep fake there's a dude playing him, yeah, like the fake whatever. Deepfake. There's a dude playing him, and it looks and sounds exactly like him. Wow. Would you do that, dude? Would you sell your likeness? No, no, no, because I like working too much.

But, like, dude, do you think this is crazy? Because I'm like, now that I'm getting a little bit older, like, I'm always afraid of death. I'm so afraid of dying, dude. Why? You're a healthy guy. Well, because here's the thing. No, no, no. I'm saying, like, if you think about it,

just to bum everybody out and just be like let's start this off the right way, right? Dude, when you die, you die Who said this? Stanley. When you die, you die forever. And forever is a long time. It is. Stanley, of course.

Only a guy that spent his entire career on animation would think so like profoundly about he's because he lived in fantasy his whole life right yeah so the reality of life probably sets in and it's creepy as shit so it is and i just saw that last week as i'm getting a colonoscopy and an endoscopy how's everything look everything's great you got any photos to share by By the way, I do. Send them. I do have some pretty sweet, I guess you can call them shit pics.

Shit pics. Got a couple shit pics on the phone. You got single guys have dick pics. You got shit pics. Here's the thing though, dude. I was like, by the way, they knock you out in this propofol stuff and you're like out. You wake up, you're like, hey, what's going on? That was the Michael Jackson shit, wasn't it?

Propofol. Yeah, that got him. It could have been. Dude, it was, I had to count to 10. I didn't get to three. Before you knocked out. Before I was knocked out. It's like, what?

Gone. Out. But after that, the doctor's like, you're doing pretty good out there. Not bad. Who says that? They just stuck something up my ass. I'm like, dude, what are you talking about? He's like, I got to tell you, that's a pretty clean pipe.

Pretty, pretty good. Nice pipe, dude. Pretty good, pretty good. But you got to think this guy stares at buttholes often, so he must see some troubled butthole. Dude, do you think that maybe he wasn't a great enough doctor to do something else? I think about that all the time.

And then that's what you gotta do. Yeah. You know what I mean? Well, like, what would you pick if you were gonna be a doctor, right? If your parents are like, you gotta go to med school, what are you picking?

You know, brain surgery. You wanna do that? Yeah. That's so invasive and sketchy. That, to me, is the scariest. Give me podiatrist. Give me foot guy. Foot doc.

Dude, athlete's foot? Come on, whatever. Come on, bro. You can scrape it off and then you... Yeah, but you gotta be in somebody's brain. Dude, have you ever, like, any sport, any team sport that you play,

like, as soon as you go into the locker room, it smells like ass. True. It smells horrible. True. Like a bunch of, like, imagine feet,

like, you know, athlete's foot, and then that's all you have to deal with the whole time? Yeah, but, dude, you're opening up someone's brain,

and then the chances of somebody dying in my profession... But what are the chances of them living? Brain surgery? Yeah. Pretty high.

Don't people get brain surgery all the time? Oh, I didn't know that. I thought it was pretty low and I was like, you know what? You know, you just add another one to the list. I feel like something simple.

Actually, uh, uh, kid doctor. What's that called? Why can't I think of the name? Uh, no,

no, no, no. Pediatrician. Easy money. What's wrong, buddy? I have a cough. That's that called? Why can't I think of the name? Pediatric? No, no, no. Pediatrician. Easy money. What's wrong, buddy? I have a cough. That's it.

You're fine. No, no, no. You're fine. Kids come up with like cysts and weird shit in their eyes, like pus coming out where they shouldn't be. Have you had to take your kids to like the ER over something terrible? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, it's horrible, dude.

We were right on Atwater. Yeah. And my kid, I think he's like three years old, two years old, something like that. oh yeah yeah yeah yeah oh wait dude yeah it's horrible dude we were right on atwater yeah and my kid i think he's like three years old two years old something like that and i had some coffee in my hand and i and i was like dude the kid wouldn't go and i had to pick him up by one arm and then take him take him across the street it snapped dude he it like it you know because when their ligaments aren't that strong when they're little kids. You snapped his arm. Dude, it snapped.

It dislocated a little bit. I brought him home. I was so afraid of my wife, dude. She was like, what did you do? She's like, she looked at me like, oh, I was the devil. And he's like, tickles, which is even worse. Even worse. And then we took him to the ER, blah, blah, blah.

And I kind of just, you know, moved it a little bit. Yeah, popped it in. You know, popped it back in, and then we took we took him to the um to the er blah blah blah and i kind of just you know moved it a little bit and snapped it back you know popped it back in and then we left did they do that thing do they do that thing when you take a kid into the er and they have an injury do they do they question the parents do they go now was this uh do you know what i mean like child protective services like do they think i think my wife would have thrown me under the bus he he did it he took his own no just he he he him because i think about when i was when i was a kid my sister and i she was small and frail and i we would play around and i'd yeah mess with her and twice i dislocated her arm out of its socket because we i would pull her and yank her and it popped out she'd cry we'd smash it back in yeah but i thought no big deal no big deal but at some point it's like i wonder if you

know parents are playing with their kids messing around they get hurt and of course they go there and the kid is like he heard me daddy heard me hurt me pull you know what i mean someone in the yard is like i'm gonna call i'm gonna call they can make a movie out of that they probably already have they know they i mean i just think it's like uh kids get hurt so much but if the parents I was like, I'm going to call services. They can make a movie out of that. They probably already have. No. I mean, I just think it's like kids get hurt so much, but if the parent's involved, immediately they get sus, and they're like, why were you pulling on his arm across the street? Yeah.

No, no, no. My hands were falling. I had coffee, and I was like, oh, you couldn't put the coffee down? Coffee matters more than your child's arm? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Maybe.

Yeah. Not doing very well for the stereotype there, son. They just start writing yeah uh okay so we talked a little bit off camera for people uh just for the audience's sake if you don't know who this gentleman is you're i mean you're you're missing you don't know what you're you don't know what's going on one of the most wonderful actors of our time he did say he was like i don't want to what am i going to do on the show? Usually I have comedians. Well, cause no, cause I, dude, I'm a fan of your show, dude. Well, we've had so many great actors.

And bad friends. So I'm like. Look at you though. You're here. You deserve to be here. I appreciate it, buddy. No, I owe you. But by the way, like there's a lot of like best of. Yeah. So like they show you like, just like the. Clips.

And, and, and I started watching a little bit right before, actually for like about an hour, right before I came. And I was like, dude, it's probably a mistake. No. Because it's all the greatest hits. Yeah, but you're. Everyone's really funny. You're going to be a hit. Everyone's really smart.

You're going to be a hit. You know. You're already a hit with me. And I'm like. You know, it's not. I was like, great. I'm going to talk like actors. You're a phenomenal actor.

A comedic force. Also, you do very dramatic stuff as well. In fact, I'm going to tell you something, you do very dramatic stuff as well. In fact, I'm going to tell you something. This is a weird connective tissue. Uh, I was a PA at the studio that did Million Dollar Baby. Whoa.

Isn't that crazy, man? That's insane. I, I was a PA there. Lakeshore was the, the production company. Lakeshore with Tom Rosenberg.

Tom Rosenberg. And Gary Lucchese. Chicago guys. Yep. Which is how I got the job because my mom worked for Tom Rosenberg. Well, worked for a company of Tom. So Tom Rosenberg used to be in the real estate game in Chicago, had owned a company before he moved here. Yeah. And Gary Lucchese actually sponsored me. We know him. So check this out. When I did Million Dollar Baby, like I had a really small part and my apartment was the size of this room. Yeah. Right?

The entire apartment. Like here's my bedroom. Here's the living room. Like it was, I mean, it was a shoebox, right? Yeah. For like for a grown man. In Hollywood? No, in North Hollywood.

Literally, dude, right here. Yeah, North Hollywood. Right by Aquavista. Right. Cheap. It was like 400 bucks a month. Like really super low overhead. man in hollywood no in north hollywood literally dude right here by right by aquavista right uh cheap it was like 400 bucks a month like really super low overhead and just because i had a small like clint eastwood hires you people were like oh who's that guy so that kind of changed my life and then the year after crash comes out totally changes my life 100 percent doubled the double the size double the size. Double the size.

So you went from 200 square feet to 400 square feet. 400 square feet. One car garage, a two car garage. No, I mean, I didn't have a garage. I straight up had a bus pass. Seriously? I had a bus pass. When you were doing...

The 159, dude, going from Vineland all the way down to Hollywood. Yeah. That's this guy. Wait, so when you did that movie, you still had a bus pass? I had a bus pass. Wow. Because I wouldn't pay insurance on my car

because I didn't always have the money, so then I had to get a bus pass. And I would walk, dude, I would walk to Trader Joe's and buy water for 59 cents, 49 cents. So when you got your first big check, you put it away as fast as you could. You didn't spend any of it.

Did you do some irresponsible shit at all or no? No, no, no, no, dude. I've always been super frugal, dude. I didn't spend it on anything. I'm like, because I wanted to make sure that I could do the movies that I wanted to. You know what I mean? Like I didn't want,

I seen a lot of times where like somebody gets a little bit of cash and then they buy this crazy house. And then next thing you know, they're doing Power Rangers one, two, and three. You know what what i mean so i didn't want to be that guy i wanted to like you wanted to do what you wanted to be an artist bro you are i wanted to be an artist yeah but you but you're lucky that your talent can get you there i think that's the tough thing right a lot of people that get into the business you know it's hard for a lot of people to be picky because

they don't know how much their talent's going to get them through i mean you obviously believed in it and it worked which is good but it's a it's a fickle world man it's a fickle beast yeah i dude i in a weird way i got super lucky because like i was doing a ton of guest stars and i was like always a gangbanger yeah gangbanger number one gangbanger number one gangbanger number two you know gang leader blah blah but it actually got a lot of time in front of the camera so I can try things that I was learning in acting class and I can and I I basically learned you know I studied a you know Sanford Meisner technique Meisner baby Meisner because you did that right

I know Meisner yeah you did that I know Meisner yeah dude that's that, right? I know Meisner. Yeah, you did that. I know Meisner. Yeah, dude. That's what I'm bringing up. See how it goes around? It circles around. See what it is? So you were using that even in the small roles. On set. No, even in auditions that I never got, I'm like, I didn't care. So I'm like, I had 10 years of that and thinking I was like, you got to get, I got to somehow get better at telling the story. And so like I was able to really study.

And so it was kind of a blessing in disguise. You know what I mean? Now I'm like, okay, I just want to tell the story. I tell you, if you ever do a one man show, you got to call it gangbanger number two. Oh yeah. And the dream is to be the gang leader. Yeah. Dude, that's fucked up, dude.

You know what I mean, dude? Just to get to gangbanger number one. Imagine the phone call. I'm like, no, they gave it to Jay Hernandez again or whoever it was. You know what I mean? For real. One day you're going to get to the gang leader. You're going to get your agent at the time.

You're going to be gangbanger number one. We're working on it. We're working on it, dude. Come on, baby. What do you think? Come on, man. At least you're getting the shot. You're getting close, baby.

This doesn't happen overnight, baby. You can't just be gangbanger number one, man. You've got to slot your way in. I mean that world does it does really toughen you up right it makes you you learn to appreciate shit because you're you see it you're so close you like tasting it when you're only getting like a roll or two what's the what's the from your resume what's like the one guest star thing that you thought was going to be like a big thing for you, but it didn't kind of? Like was there anything that you were like couldn't wait to be a part of the show, then you got it and you were like, this kind of fucking sucked. Dude, I'll tell you what, dude.

I booked a reoccurring role in Felicity. Oh, shit. Oh, dude, remember that? That was big. Yeah. Yeah. I played Brian Berkey. Brian Berkey. Brian Berkey.

Brian Berkey, right? And so I worked on it so much, and I didn't know how to do any kind of comedy. And I was starving, and I really needed money. And I was like, okay, let's, you know, and I call it lightning in a bottle. Like, I went to the audition. I crushed it. Everybody was laughing. I felt funny

which was kind of new to me because i you know i do mainly drama and i was like dude this is awesome i showed up on set i was so nervous i didn't even look anybody in the eye i kept i was looking at chins why you were staring down because i i didn't feel funny at all and And it's, dude, it's so hard to be funny. You're like, you're naturally a funny dude, but for somebody that's coming in from drama to try to do comedy, it's nerve wracking.

Yeah, but you have such a funny, you, but you, it's so strange because you, to me, I feel like you were always funny. Were you funny your whole life?

I feel like you have that. No, dude. Yeah, but you're so, your quickness is that of like somebody that's a comedic actor. Like you have the same, the way you, I've done like five comedies, like five comedic parts. Yeah, but your quickness is that of somebody that's a comedic actor. You have the same, the way you obvoiate. I've done like five comedies, like five comedic parts.

Yeah, but you're so good at them. Well, here's the thing. You have it in your bones somewhere. But, dude, I remember my old manager who I fired. Rest in peace, by the way. She's dead. She died. And I'm sorry, Sheila.

She's gone she's not around anymore you know but dude she actually told me and I was like hey can I get some comedic auditions she's like you're not funny oh thanks okay cool yeah cool you're fired and so yeah that's insane you're not funny yeah exactly

but you do have such a comedic nature about you that I think maybe it's also wow that's really interesting man you do you have like I can feel that it's, I don't know where, like you pull, is there somewhere that you can remember in your past that you pull from the someone in your family that you emulated? Here's what I do. I basically like, I just observe and then I'm like, oh dude, that's funny. And I repeat it. It's monkey see monkey do. Yeah. And then people are like, oh yeah, that's funny and i repeat it it's monkey see monkey do yeah and then people are like oh yeah that is funny okay and that's it really yeah dude what a secret yeah like we're bleeding it out for everyone at home he's like that's it that's all you know i literally repeat it and i was like

dude that's hilarious he's like what and you're like this and you're like it's kind of funny but then i i'll imitate people like i'll people. Yeah. Like, by the way, you golfing are the angriest. Angriest. Yeah. Oh, my God. I had no idea how this podcast was going to go. It seethes inside of me. Because you're such an angry motherfucker on the course, dude.

Yeah, fact. Yeah. You're like, straight up fact. Like, whatever phrase you want to dish out, dude. I'm so competitive with yourself I'm not fighting anybody else but me I'm fighting me

at any point you're just going to I might do it I do carry a knife in my bag so when we go out and play again you might see me got a Shakespearean knife why are you like that in here we pour whiskey. Hey, I'm here to talk to you about Manscaped.

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I like gingers. Why are you like like that because because I because you've left after the six holes

yeah and I was like what is going on he's like I gotta go guys I gotta go I gotta go and you're not

you're not even doing that bad but you're like three over par sometimes I'm so competitive in my own mind with myself that if I'm

I also had somewhere to go so I did have to go home. I did have to leave. No, but truth be told – He's totally lying. He's like, by the way, I'm making that up, and he's like, I totally had to go. I had to go. I had to go. I had to go somewhere.

Yeah, yeah. me and it, and, and golf truly is a, a, uh, such a specific testament to your balance and patience with your own competition, because it's you, you play no one else. Even if you and I are playing a game and we're betting, it doesn't matter. I'm it's me. I'm playing, I'm playing you, but I have to win all the, all the shit inside of me to beat, even to beat you. So I'm more focused on doing all the right things that I know the best, and then I'm going to beat you if I can beat you. Do you know what I mean? That's the way I think about golf. So it works sometimes, but not all the time. Yeah. Not all the time. Well, there's things that the other guy can do too. If we have a match going, like. You're sneaky.

You talk shit. Like a little bit. You do. Yeah, I know what you're doing. Like a little bit. I hear you take little, tiny, tiny little jokes. Like you'll say something. You'll be like, those are tough.

Well, no, it's because we were playing against each other. Yeah. And we were playing against each other, and you just slightly hit a bad shot. I'm like, oof. Oof. Just something like that, dude, for you. You hear it. It like sits in your ear. For you. And then all of a sudden, I'm like, oof. Oof. Just something like that, dude, for you. You hear it, it like sits in your ear.

For you. And I'm like, and then all of a sudden, you're like, oof. Fucking Peña. Yeah. That's what I say when I walk away.

I go, fucking Peña, dude. No, I think you're, I think you're carrying it too much. Yeah, I'm trying to,

to even focus. Trying to, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Other people don't really get in my head as much as I get in my own head. But that's the trick of that game that I'm trying to learn is,

is, it's, honestly, it's a metaphor for everything else in life. It's like you're your own competition in most parts of life. If you can kind of find a balance of winning over the troubles that you've got and just overcoming all the nonsense, you kind of get to a level. That's why the best golfers, they're almost empty-brained. It's almost like life just happens. Yeah, is it like that in stand-up comedy by the way 100 the best comics are really competitive they're you know they're very focused oh fuck man so competitive what yeah we're the most competitive

because you guys come off as like dude i want that guy to win i just want him to kill tonight no no we all are competitive dude we all just we just, we all, we don't wish, we don't wish like for someone else to do bad, but you want to outshine so bad. Whoa, dude, I'm, this is so interesting that you're saying that. Yeah, you want to be the one of the night. You always do. But also. Oh, you want to be the star of the night, right?

You want somebody to crush and then you want to crush even more. And you want, yeah, you always want more. But, but it's not like every night is a competition of everyone on the lineup. Like I said, it's you doing the best version of you, but you really still want to be a part of the upper echelon of that show or that night or your peer group. Can I ask you a question? So if somebody crushes, but say like if they're at a 10 and they're like like, people are peeing themselves, like, it's so funny. Yeah.

Like, you're, like, number one, are you going to go out after? Like, go meet people? No, are you going to go after that comic? Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, that doesn't matter. Okay, but, okay, another scenario. Another scenario. Say somebody's at an 8, right? And then you go on after and you're, like, I'm going to fucking tear it up.

I'm going to give them a 10 and you know that you're performing at a 6 like do you keep tabs just like your golf game where you're like oh fuck I'm already halfway through and I'm not fucking crushing not doing it yeah you know and you feel it

but also you take so many lumps that's so common you're constantly doing that it's like you doing a decade of grunt work of working your way through Also, you take so many lumps. That's so common, right? Really? You're constantly doing that. It's like you doing a decade of grunt work, of working your way through the business and the acting side. Stand-up is the exact same thing. We're just taking so many hits, we get used to it.

Wow. Like every known audition is a mediocre set in a stand-up club. It's the same thing. Like every time that you go out for something, you don't get it and you really wanted it. That's us in the grind of doing another set that was, like, fine, but we didn't, you know, we didn't love it. That's so scary. I'm like, you know

Brian Callen? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I pitched him some things that I thought were funny, and he's like, dude, I'll put you up on Saturday. I was like, dude, I'm not a stand-up comic. Yeah. I have no idea. This was, like, ten years ago. I'm like, it scares the living shit out of me that I would never do it. You didn't do it?

No. Let's do it. Come with me one time. No. Just come with me to a small show. I almost did a movie where I had to play a stand-up comic, and then I would force myself to absolutely do it. Yeah.

Then you would do it. I would go and, I mean, how long would it take to get 10 minutes? 10 good minutes? A long time. I mean, for an amateur, it to get 10 minutes? A 10 good minutes, a long time. I mean, for an amateur, it would take a long time. Like a year. I would say you could get 10 minutes in a couple of months. A couple of months, you could get a good solid. That's not a long time. No, I mean, it's, but you got to do, you'd have to be,

it wouldn't be like once a week, you'd have to go up all the time. You'd have to be doing it nightly to try to collect a really solid 10 minutes when you're a young comic getting a getting a five to ten minute set to do on like late night or whatever takes them months and months and months and months you can put it together but for it to be really good it takes a long time yeah well to iron it out then once you get better just like anything else you can get a quick 10 minutes you know you find one great bit and you just kind of singe it together. So is it basically like, I don't want to bore your listeners too much. No, no.

But is it like where you have models of jokes where you see certain sequences and then you get comfortable with that sequence? You find your rhythm. Is that what it's called? Yeah. Finding your rhythm? Well, I mean, you find your voice is what we say. And you can find like, oh, this is kind of like this. Totally.

And I'm like, I'm really good when it comes to analogies or if I exaggerate this certain part or if I completely surprise him on this part. Yeah, you find, they say like finding your voice or whatever, but you do. You find your rhythms. You find your voice. You learn. Again, it's just like acting in that sense where like you know exactly where you slot the best.

Where you go, you know when I, you know the thing you do that you're like, you know, when I do that move or that face or that, that when I emote this, this way, I'm so good at it. Like, you know, I don't ever think of that. Yeah, you do. No, I don't. But you know, I swear. You know what you're good at. I never think of that stuff. Well, you're one of the worst actors on the face of the earth.

So that's that. That is what it is. No, I literally think of like, how can I communicate it so of the worst actors on the face of the earth, so that's that. That is what it is. No, I literally think of, like, how can I communicate it so that I don't have to think about it and doesn't feel fake? Right. Well, but that is the skill. That is the skill. That is the thing. How do I do it that it's not phony?

And when I do, like, any kind of comedic part, I literally just do a funny voice. That's it? That's the trick? Man, you're fucking blowing my mind right now, dude. It's absolutely voice. That's it? That's the trick? Man, you're fucking blowing my mind right now, dude. It's absolutely true. That's it. Because I'll, but it's, it comes from somebody. Yeah.

That in my life, like I did this character, ended up being the Ant-Man guy, but then I tried it out on a couple of, like on a guest star for CSI. And I was like, oh, wait, wait a like oh wait csi and why no the real one the real the main one the og one yeah daddy got the main one yeah papa gets the real one yeah and then i tried it on 30 minutes or less and i was like it evolved in a little bit but it's it was based off this guy pablo who has a funny voice that you're a friend of yours yeah more not a friend of mine but like he he, he was like 14. He got some girl pregnant at,

you know, 13, Mexicans, you know what I mean? Yeah. And she was like 13 years old. So he always hung around the barbecues and shit. Sure. And he was like,

you know, he was selling weed. And I was like, dude, it's legal. You don't have to sell weed anymore. Right, it's over. And he literally,

I don't even know if I could do it now. He's like, I'm a fable, real quick. Like, I don't even know if I could do it now. He's like, I'm off A real quick. Like, nervous kind of like. And I was like, that's funny, dude. That's it. And you utilized it. Just imitated him.

And I'm like, you have to do a little bit so that you can think like the character. Right. But it was literally just that. Because this dude said, because the voice sat in your mind. Yeah. By the way, that guy, I've met that guy before. I think he sold me weed. Yeah.

That guy. In Chicago? That very same guy. No, just that idea, that guy that's like, hey, dog. Come on, man. That jumpy, nervous. Yeah, dude. Exactly.

I know. Hey, dog. Hey. I fuck with you, bro. What's up? You know that guy, dude? Dude. That guy's everywhere, dude.

I've met that dude a thousand times. I'm Logan Square, dude. You're like, fuck. Okay, dude. I'll give up my dime bag off that guy, dude. I know that guy. Yeah, dude. That guy is everywhere. I met that dude a thousand times. On Logan Square, dude. You're like, okay, dude. I'll give my dime back off that guy, dude. I know that guy. That guy is a real dude. That guy's everywhere, right?

Yeah. Yeah, so that's how you take that. Yeah, but that's what I do in drama. Right. I take it from like a real person. So I was like, fuck it. I'll do like that in comedy. And it worked.

And it works. Well, your secret is out. Everyone at home is like, God, now that they're all taking notes, like steal voice from weed dealer. Yeah, nobody's thinking that. They're like, eh, good for him. Oh, that's what he does. Tell me, we talked a little bit before. Tell me as much as you can tell me about what you were just shooting before this.

Okay, when is this coming out? In a couple weeks. So maybe the thing will be out by that time? A couple weeks. In like two weeks. In two weeks, okay. Are you afraid? Well,. A couple weeks. In like two weeks. In two weeks. Okay. Well, it's in Spanish.

It's in Spanish. So it's not too bad. Okay. What are we talking? Telemundo? No, it's probably better that I don't tell you. But like I'm supposed to pay it for, like I'm supposed to give a little bit of cash, like the TV show does.

Yeah. It gives a little bit of cash to this person who was a mentor of mine. Right. And it was a lot of money. Can you say how much or no? A lot. Six figures. A lot.

Six figures of money. So some of those are mentoring your life. For a regular person, dude, that's insane. For anybody, that's crazy. Right. Will you give me six figures is what I'm going to ask you next. No. No, thank you.

Okay. But you have six figures. Sure. From you only what I'm going to ask you next? No, no, like, you know, but you have six figures. Sure. From you only. Cause I've taken it from you. You, you probably make six figures a month in my mind. I'm taking it from you or in your bank account.

You probably make six, six figures a month. No, man, I'm, I'm still got that bus pass that one five. Oh, I see what you're doing.

I'm on that shit. That's good, dude. That's good. I like it. I like it. I'm on that bus pass. So dude,

I, you know, and you're supposed to present it right in front of, you know, in front of the cameras and everything like that. It's cash, by the way. You're giving this guy a chunk of cash on camera. Cash, bro, where I'm like, I couldn't believe that this was happening. Because if you, like, if you make a hundred grand, you're like, oh, wow, you see it in your bank statement.

Seeing a hundred grand right in front of you is a whole nother thing crazy and the person just froze up when was the last time you talked to this person um is it frequently yeah yeah i talked to this person frequently how long have you known but you're expecting that you're expecting like i care about you know what i mean shocked just shocked stunned yeah i'm trying to bribe some stuff i'm like you know what does this mean to you blah blah this and that i was like give me something man give me nothing nothing nothing he was like thanks it was awesome but it was wonderful yeah it was it was good is it we'll see how it cuts together will that money change the person's life like

will it dynamically change their life i think so i mean you know, we lived in a kind of a poor area in Chicago and I think, you know, where, where everything, you know, I don't know if you have friends like that back in Chicago, like, but everything means something. Like if you got to get new windows, damn it. Yeah. Like we got, you know, we got to save up for these windows and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Then the bank account's gone. But especially in Chicago where it's so cold, like, and you have bad windows or the windows run out, you know, blah, blah. Yeah. Then the bank account's gone. But especially in Chicago where it's so cold, like, and you have bad windows or the windows run out, you know, run its course. Like, you definitely need

to change your windows so that, you know, you save on your gas bill and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, exactly. Would you ever move back? No. You?

Tough. I love Chicago so much. But the answer's no. Just don't know. No. Yeah, it's probably no. No. It's tough.

Yeah. Why? I don't know why. Just say don't know. Yeah, it's probably no. It's tough. Yeah. Why? I don't know why. Just say no, dude. No, it's a no. But I love that city. I love the city. I love the people.

But I love that you were like, you know what? It's a good, it's a good, no. Yeah, it's tough. It's so tough. Dude, the winters suck, bro. It's the worst. It is the worst. Which is funny because you go to other places in the winter.

Like I was just in New York and you're like, God, how come these winters aren't as harsh? Ours were just so miserable, man. Because it's the Lake Michigan, dude. It stinks. You know who I think are, like, clearly they're, like, the badasses of Chicago are smokers. Yeah. Who work at, like, the Board of Trade or some, like, big, like, tower, whatever whatever it is and then they have to smoke they're that addicted yeah and then they're dude they're in like a shirt and tie smoking you see

them all the time dude i can't i'm like i'm cold in my big puffer jacket you know what i mean just like that kid from a christmas story you know what i mean and they're like they're just smoking and they don't seem cold at all they don't't care. Because they're so used to it. Well, because Chicago, like, just— They're the honey badgers of Chicago, I think. They really are. Yeah. It beats you up, man.

Yeah. You see those guys. Sometimes you see a guy in the middle of winter, yeah, in, like, a dress shirt and a tie. No jacket, right? Just a dress shirt and a tie, slacks. And he's just out there huddled up smoking with his buddy, talking. I don't think they're even cold. They're not even shivering.

No. He's arms out. Arms are away from his body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think they're even cold. They're not even shivering. No. He's arms out. Arms are away from his body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're taking their time, dude. They're enjoying it, dude. It's like, yeah, no, we're going up to the Dallas next weekend with the kids. Oh, that's nice.

That's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I've been there. I've been there a couple times. Yeah, no, it's great. Take a couple drive. Just put everyone in a Buick. Yeah, Mark definitely likes that stuff.

I don't like it anymore. Dude, when's the last, dude, when's the last time you heard like, I don't even know what this means. What does Jagoff mean? Jagoff.

Jagoff is, you're a dickhead. You're a jerk. Yeah. You fucking Jagoff. Jagoff is such a Chicago phrase. Oh, that guy's a fucking Jagoff.

Dude, and then he's like, yeah, yeah, okay, pal. All right, pal.

All right, pal. All right. Dude, that's, dude, those are fighting words. Yeah.

Those are fighting words words let's fucking go yeah okay pal oh shit something's gonna fucking happen in LA that same term is like when somebody calls you buddy buddy is so diminutive to me I don't like when someone's like alright buddy if you don't know me and you call me buddy it's so

yucky to me or uh okay uh uh okay whoa dude So it's yucky to me. Or, okay. And like, okay. Whoa, dude. Excuse me? Like, yeah. What'd you just say to me?

I don't know. Who just says that, dude? Who says that? But buddy is bad. Pal, I think. Pal, yeah. All those things are rude. I don't like boss.

What's up, boss? Yeah. Or guy. Guy. Yeah, okay, guy. I don't like that. Guy. That's a Chicago thing, dude. Those are like, by the way, we have some weird fighting words. Yeah, okay, guy. I don't like that. Guy. That's a Chicago thing, dude.

Those are like, by the way, we have some weird fighting words. Yeah, those are backhand. They're slights. They're tiny little slights. Like if you say, yeah, yeah, yeah, if I jag off or whatever, you're like, oh, okay, cool. But if you're like, all right, pal. Excuse me? Yeah.

Excuse me. What did you say? What'd you say, guy? Don't worry about it, boss. Yeah. Pal, just get back in your car. All right, guy. Yeah. All right, guy. Yeah.

All right, guy. It's just a whole lead up to finally just this big fight going down. Then you're leaking oil like all of a sudden. That's how those guys are, dude. They're like hockey players. They're ready to, well, the city's such a tough town that it makes people super defensive. People get really defensive. Here, nobody cares. You just yawn, bro. Nobody cares. Here, nobody cares. Did you just yawn, bro?

Nobody cares. Here, nobody cares. You just yawned, dude. Yeah, but you know why? Because I had fucking, uh... A Red Bull? Yeah, because I drank too much caffeine earlier today. I did that. It's... If I have too much coffee, it knocks me out. It's the opposite. Oh, yeah. For some reason, I had so much coffee today. I'm there with you, dude. I was humming.

I was humming. Yeah. Like, I'm on five or six cups, and I shouldn't be. Dude, I just drank, like, a little cup of coffee, because I'm like, I was filming all day. Yeah, but see... No, I'm a little like, hey... Can you do coffee now? At this time of night, you can do coffee. Well, dude, because I said I was going to do your podcast. Yeah, you did, yeah. What time is it? You bucked up. It's nine.

Yeah. You did it. It's really late, dude. I'm not going to sleep. And you left the family. I hope you appreciate the fact that I keep my word. You do, man. I'm wired. I. I hope you appreciate the fact that I keep my word. You do, man. I'm wired. I'm cross-eyed right now. You do keep my word.

Yeah, you're barely awake. What time do you usually go to bed? Nine. Nine and you're out? Ten. Up by five, six? I woke up at five today. Do you work out in the morning?

No. Look at me, bro. Do I look like I work out? You're a workout guy. No, dude. You got some hokas on. Dude, that's because I have bad knees no that's not for running

they don't look good right I have six or seven pairs you look like a skater I am a skater dude I'm a skater boy whenever Levine wrote that song I never went back dude you know what's so funny when I was young I used to skateboard and I said this literally today to a friend I said

no board sports anymore I just I admitted it no dude I'll never do it again there's nothing like falling off your board and just your knee just contacting the concrete did you have like shin splints

no dude I'm like I used to kickflip and I was like I wasn't that good so literally you would just always hit the same exact spot. Ugh, dude. Never again. That was the worst. I don't think I'm ever going to do any of that. Really? You'd go off ramps?

Yeah. No way. Or kickers or you'd do? Launch. Launch ramps. What? Dude, I was like, back in the day, do you remember like the Christ's? Hell yeah.

I liked it in the airwalks. You did all that shit? I was that guy. No way. Yeah, and it came super easy to me. Wait, really? And then I was like, dude, I was like, dude, I can get sponsored. I had no idea.

And could you? Nope. Never. Because I looked horrible just doing the simple stuff like skating. I would always fall on my ass. I would always hit like a rock or a pebble or something and go. So you could hit a ramp and do these tricks, but coordination was off. Yeah.

Would you? do these tricks, but... But not the simple shit. Coordination was off. Yeah, yeah. Would you... I would hate it like a little pebble right in front of the... You know, because we had small wheels, especially in Chicago. I don't know why.

Back in the day, little tiny wheels. Little tiny wheels. Now they're big. Oh, are they really? Cool kids have big wheels now. Oh. That's the move. Yeah, because everybody kept falling on their ass, like hitting those little pebbles.

Yeah, they realized we shouldn't do that anymore. And plus, like, I lived in a poor area. There was no sweeping. Like, you know what I mean? Nobody's sweeping. Like, we had..., they realized we shouldn't do that. Plus, I lived in a poor area. There was no sweeping. Nobody sweeped. The street sweepers don't go that far. No. Are you Southside? No.

Cook County Jail. You grew up in the jail. My dad spent some time over there. Buddy, I went to Assumption, which was, right after Assumption, we would go and get some Popeyes, right? Inmates right there. Right next to you. Right next to you. Like right after Assumption, we would go and get some Popeyes, right? Inmates right there. Right next to you.

Right next to you. Like we would have to wait for the inmate and they would order everything and we would have to wait with our $2 for like a quarter chicken with Fanta. Wait, really though? Yeah, dude. Did you ever chum it up with any of the inmates? No, dude. Never? No, because probably the bad move if you're five.

Yeah, but if you're five, they're not going to do anything. You're a little kid. They're not going to hurt you. hurt you well depends what they're in for well cook county is mostly oh right pedophiles right now that i think about no no no i'm not saying that they're pedophiles i'm saying but dude like why run the risk no i know and you're like dude by the way like he's who would ever say like this guy looks like a nice guy i know he just got out of jail but like hey probably a nice guy yeah I know he just got out of jail, but like, hey. Probably a nice guy. Yeah.

He could be. You never know what he went in for. Yeah. Tax fraud. Yeah. Tax fraud. Yeah. Okay, dude.

That's a lot of Cook County guys. Cook County jail? Yeah, dude. I don't know about that. My dad went there for a little while. He's in there. My dad went in Cook County jail. I think you told me that.

Not tax fraud. Yeah. Wait, but. Drugs. But you were serious. Yeah. Yeah. He went away for drugs.

But Cook County, he spent some time in Cook County. How much time did he spend in Cook County? Well, he jumped around. He went downstate. Oh, dude, I thought you were being funny. No, no, he went downstate. I thought that was a bit. Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.

No. He went to jail. Yeah. Did he get, you know, raped? I think so. No! No, no, I'm kidding. No, I don't think so.

Dude, your dad got raped. He was a big boy. He's a big boy. I think he. No! No, I'm kidding. No, I don't think so. Dude, your dad got raped. He was a big boy. He's a big boy. I think he held his own. But I think that's the first ones that they go after. Yeah, the big guys? Yeah. Yeah, soft guys.

No, no, he was a strong dude. Well, that's what I'm saying, dude. Well, what's a strong dude going to do against five guys? Well, you know. In here, we pour whiskey. Everybody got a website these days. And a lot of them are very ugly and stupid. And it's because we don't know what we pour whiskey. Everybody got a website these days. And a lot of them are very ugly and stupid. And it's because we don't know what we're doing.

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use the offer code whiskey to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go to squarespace.com slash whiskey. Get that free trial. Try it out. You're ready to launch. Use the offer code whiskey to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Ginger. I like gingers. No. He went to jail.

Yeah. Did he get raped? I think so. No he get, you know, raped? I think so. No. No, I'm kidding. No, I don't think so. Dude, your dad got raped. He was a big boy. He's a big boy.

I think he held his own. But I think that's the first ones that they go after. Yeah, the big guys? Yeah. Yeah, soft guys. No, no, he was a strong dude. Well, that's what I'm saying, dude. Well, what's a strong dude going to do against five guys?

Well, you know. One's going to get you because you got four limbs, right? So, blah, blah, blah. And then one guy's free to. What's going to get you? What's going to get you? And it's always the little guy. That's true.

It's the tiniest one. It's that guy. It's the weed dealer guy. It's like, come on, you don't know how to do that, you don't know how to do that. I see what you did there, dude. That's really good. He did. He went down.

And I remember when I was a kid, my dad, when my dad was in jail, he would call the house. And this is back – I don't know if they do this anymore, but it was collect calls back in the day. Oh, dude, I remember that. So you would have to accept the collect call, and it would charge you. But the operator would ask you, right? Yeah, well, when I was very young, it was an operator. Then it was an automated system where it would go, you have a collect call from Cook County jail inmate four, two, nine, six, four, eight from, and then they would leave a portion

where you'd say your name. You know, it would go, it would say, you know, you would say your name. Donald. Yeah, exactly. Right. And then it would go to accept, press one, you know, dah, dah, dah. And, uh, my mother would like, sometimes she would get the jump on the phone and she would deny it obviously you know because what they were this is they were separate he was calling to talk

to me yeah yeah yeah yeah but she would kind of screw it off but he got so keen on that that he would leave what he wanted to say in the time where you say your name to me yeah that's what we used to do so so So it'd be like, I like call from Cook County in May 4, 5, 6, for I'm going to go, hey, what's up, Andrew? I just want to tell you that I love you. And it would cut him off at some point.

But you know what I mean? He'd get a couple of things in there. But he was clever. He would do that a few times because my mom, they didn't, she don't like. So he would try to call me once in a while. But I got a few cook county collect

calls yeah back in the day i think they smarten up didn't they that like that you can only say it for like one second it's quick something it was super quick yeah yeah they knew and then at some point uh uh i think at the at the latest the last time i ever got a call it never said the name it just says you have a collect call from Goodyear County Jail. From five. From five, five. And then it was like, do you accept? Yeah.

Yeah, because it was like, you ought to know if someone's calling you from jail. You would know. Yeah, they caught on pretty quickly. And then in those later years, I always wondered about, I was learning about cards. You know, you can pay for cards for them to call and all that stuff. Oh, yeah, prepaid phone cards. about cards, you know, you can pay for cards for them to call and all that stuff. Oh, yeah, prepaid phone cards. And then I thought, when I was a teenager, I was like,

what if I saved money and got a card for him to call me just to, like, make this whole transaction easier? Yeah. But by that time, he was already starting to get out. And where did you grow up in Chicago? Well, in the city until I was nine, and then we moved to the western suburbs. So I was kind of near the gold coast we lived in buildings that tom rosenberg's company used to own you know talk about full circle and

and and how old were you when your dad went to jail my parents split before i was one and he was he was in and out he was a frequent visitor he had a freaking flyer card of jail he was that's so crazy i think he was executive platinum in at cook county really he He was diamond medallion? He was diamond. He got to board first for sure. Yeah. There was always room for the overhead bins. Oh my gosh. Yeah, he went a few times. He went to... I couldn't even... I don't even know. I don't really know the number

because... What did he go in for? Blurred. Another thing. You don't want to talk about it? No, no, no. No, no, no. Drugs. It was always drugs and drug related offense. Oh, was he a drug addict? No, no, no, no. I can't. No, no. No, I mean, I... Drugs. It was always drugs and drug-related offense. Oh, was he a drug addict? Yeah, oh, yeah.

He was one of the best. He was one of the best. One of the best. I think he got voted like 14th. He was like 14th or 15th. Oh, he always went... He was a state champ.

Yeah, he would go. You could never beat... Some of those guys are so good. They're really good. Yeah, you can't... You can't beat everybody. Dude, I...

Did you ever in your family go away? Did you get anyone to get locked up in your family? Just deported. Rebecca. No, back to the motherland. But really though. My mom and my dad got deported. No way.

Yeah, bro. Wait, really? Yeah, dude. How old were you? One. Then they got. And my brother was two. So what happened is that, well, I guess it's not deported, but like we went to Mexico.

We, they had their, their papers and all that stuff. And then at the border, my mom got into a fight with one of the border patrol people. They took away her, her green card. No. Yeah, dude. Because we were sick. So she's like, no, you know what? We got to go back to the States.

And my dad and my mom stayed in mexico and then um we were like in chicago some they they were paying like a monthly fee to this person to take care of us do you not a family member just no not just some random person wow and i you know one and two imagine that dude one and two just just pretty good material for a comedy podcast and then and then they they crossed

then they got deported so they they had to save up again so it was like a year and a half now when you say save up again it's so wild how much money

do you need to come back that I don't know it's probably I think it was like 300 bucks to get back which back in the in the in like the 70s.

Late 70s, that's a lot of money. That was a lot of money. That's a lot of money. Right? Especially for like a migrant farm worker. Yeah, that's like saying five grand now. That's like, give, how, give me five grand. Working at Burger King.

Right. You know what I mean? And I need to. Like you still have to eat. In a month. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

So they, they, they did that. They got us. Wild. It's crazy. They're both migrant workers. Migrant farm workers. Yeah. No shit. My It's crazy. They're both migrant workers. Migrant farm workers, yeah. No shit. My dad's from Purificacion Jalisco.

I just want to say that. Si, wey. And my mom's from Charcas de Lisboa to Si. That felt good. I'm not going to lie. That does feel good. Just hearing it feels good. And then when they finally made it back to the States, how long did it take for them

to come back? It was a year and a half, so I was two and a half. Wow. Do you remember? That's so young. You're so young. You don States. How old were you? How long did it take for them to come back? It was a year and a half, so I was two and a half. Wow. Yeah. Do you remember? That's so young. You're so young. You don't remember that, do you?

No, I just remember crying. When you saw them? No, no. Crying when, like, we were by ourselves. Yeah. Yeah. How funny is this?

Is this good? Hilarious. Is this good material? Is this good shit? No, but it's fascinating to know. I mean, that's such a, what it's, but, all right,

I will say, you want me to rope it back? It's really easy. It really does shape who you are to know. I mean, that's such a – but all right, I will say you want me to rope it back. It's really easy. It really does shape who you are to live those kind of – those tough experiences make you so much stronger. So it definitely does shape why you're probably good at what you do. Your perspective on the world is extremely unique. You're like you use that trauma. That's trauma.

For your work. Well, good on you. You know what I mean? Did it work? It worked. I have no idea. Dude, I'm like, do you think that it's a necessity for like actors and artists to have some kind of trauma in their life?

No, but I will say that. But you're talking to two people that had trauma. That have trauma. Yeah. Yeah. So no, but here's what, you know what? I'm stealing this from neil brennan and neil brennan's a great comic and a writer and i'm gonna butcher it but he has a joke about

about you know there's something it's not mutually exclusive but there's a reason to the madness that these great things come from terrible shit in art or in anything. And his example was in boxing. It's like you never saw a guy, they never announced a guy that was like, from Beverly Hills, California, Mike Sofield. You know, like every boxer had like the worst fucking experience growing up as a kid to get them to this place to make them so, like Mike Tyson's story is exactly that, where you're like, yeah, only a guy who's had such crazy trauma

could harness it into this amazing energy and become one of the greatest of all time. So yeah, I think it helps. I don't think it's the only way, but I think great performers, artists, creators, whatever you want to say, they all got a little something in them, a little bit of sauce. Yeah, maybe.

It's hard to have no sauce. It's hard to pass up that analogy because I'm thinking, because I used to box as a kid. Yeah. How many kids were from Beverly Hills? How many kids came from privileged households? Also, but here's the thing, though. When you're boxing, you want to, I mean, like when you're poor,

you're like, okay, what can I be good at to get out of the ghetto? Right. Boxing. Like a fight. Like when you live in Beverly Hills, I mean, like when you're poor, you're like, okay, what can I be good at to get out of the ghetto? Right. Boxing. Like a fight. Like when you're, when you live in Beverly Hills, you already, you're, you're already set. That's what he's saying though. You, you, so to get good shit comes from tough things. Oh, okay.

Because otherwise you can't, there's no challenge. The kid that grows up in Beverly Hills, he just, his challenges are less. So his need to get into something that's going to challenge him even more, like something competitive boxing, it's low probably. Here's the crazy thing, because I went to Marist High School, and it was nuts. It took me like an hour to get there every day, like in the morning. And, dude, when you walk in, you're like, oh, dude, they have like a cross-country track, like an Olympic track, like football fields.

Yeah, multiple. Soccer fields. Multiple. It was like a college, but it was like a prep school. I've never seen so many depressed kids than being in like a fancy schmancy school. Yeah, well, they had everything. It's all good. There was no game.

fancy schmancy school. Yeah, well, they had everything. It's all good. There was no game. When you're not sad about anything, then you're sad about everything because you don't have anything. Oh, I understand what he's saying. Like, you have to make light of it

and you're like, you're swimming in shit and you're like, it's not that bad. Yeah, shit's kind of warm. You kind of get used to it. Yeah. Right?

That's what my grandfather did. My humor came from my grandfather could joke about, he loved shitting on nice stuff because he had it so hard they had lived such a hard life it was so normal you joke about you know like he would say it was like uh you know the willie wonka phrase where where grandpa joe's like i bet the gold makes the chocolate taste terrible you know it's like that idea that you're like it's a golden ticket it's like yeah but i bet it ruins the chocolate. My grandfather had that mentality where he would

say stuff like fancy restaurants, they turn the lights down low. They don't want you to see the food. You know, it's like trying to shit on luxury because if you, if you're a have not, it's easier to shit on the, everyone wants to see people punch up. Yeah. Nobody wants to see punching down is worthless, you know? But that that's that's the mentality that you have to have i think to uh have some semblance of you know normalcy normalcy yeah because otherwise you've it's so dark but yeah the richest in the and the that's why like when you raise a family in la and i'm sure your kids are going to live a great life. There's got to be a tough balance. I have friends who have kids that they get mad at them. They're like, these fucking kids have

everything they've ever wanted, but you wanted to give them a better life. So what do you do? You're not going to, you're not going to, you're not going to make them take the bus. No, but they're going to get grit somewhere else. Yeah. You know what I mean? By the way, I did want to ask you like, so in the Gold Coast, like dude, when I grew up poor, it was actually a really good time. Yeah. You know what I mean ask you, like, so in the Gold Coast, like, dude, when I grew up poor, it was actually a really good time. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, you know, what we're doing now, there would be, like, eight to ten guys.

Like, just, you know, we would be in the corner, you know, smoking weed or something and just, like, you know, trying to, you know, make each other laugh and stuff. Did you guys have that as well? Yeah. I mean, I was so young when I was in this city. I was just such a kid. I was playing elevator tag with kids in the building. That's what I, that was like my game of fun. Oh, you guys had elevators, huh?

Yeah, dude. That's cool, man. We lived way up in the sky. Whoa, dude. I lived in a building in the sky. That's what I said to one of my teachers one time. I live in a building in the sky. We lived in these apartments that my mother could get us into

because we worked for, she worked for Rosenberg at the time and we got – Wait, she worked for Rosenberg? Yeah. Coming full circle. It's kind of wild. Yeah, we lived in these Section 8 houses, which by the way, it's so funny. The internet, it's here, Section 8, and they're like, ooh. We applied because it was a single mother, so we could get Section 8 because my mom wasn't making any money.

So we lived in kind of nice buildings. Dude, that's amazing it's a great loophole we snuck we snuck through dude i didn't even know we were poor until we left then you found out huh yeah then i found out dude i remember coming in um i think i was 19 years old in hollywood and i lived at the oakwood apartments you were an oakwood kid i was in an oakwood apartment for people that don't know what that is there's a apartment complex that's here in the valley right by warner brothers and universal studios right and it's uh it is where they house young talent who comes here for pilot season or if you do get a pilot they used to put families up there if you were underage because you had to live all together so they were, it was kind of like a family housing, like short-term stay.

No, so what they had is that they had monthly rates. Right. So you can rent it for a month, which was perfect for like any, like a manager, say from Minnesota who had 10 kids. Right. And she just rents like three apartments, you know, and sees, you know, one of them or two of

them will get a pilot. She'll get 10% of that. And it's a great investment. It's wild. So I lived, I, I, I slept on the floor and I remember, dude, there was the, that's my first taste of, um, stage moms. Yeah. Yeah.

Like if, if any, if any kid had a tan or whatever, I stayed away from that mom cause she was just talking shit to me the entire time trying to get under my skin, dude. Oh, yeah? Billy's, I got a couple national commercials, yeah. Yeah, and just try to intimidate me. Sure. Oh, my gosh. But it works because they're real.

It did work. It did work. And that's what sucks. They're divisive, man. Yeah. But you lived there solo. You were by yourself? Yeah.

Yeah. How old were you? I was 19. 19 when you came to Oakwood, huh? Yeah, that was such Yeah. Yeah. How old were you? I was 19. 19 when you came to Oakwood, huh? Yeah, that was such a weird time. How long did you stay there? Well, it was... We're still there.

It was like four months. It was like four months. I got a part. What was it? Do you remember? I got a small part in My Fellow Americans. I don't know it. And then I came back.

My roommate lost the apartment, and I lived in a van. Where? In the parking lot. Of the Oakwood. Yeah, of the Oakwood apartment. That's awesome, dude. Dude, and I just had like, I would just buy milk, and I had like a huge stash of cereal, and I would just eat cereal, dude.

I'm lactose intolerant, too, so I'm like, it didn't work out all that well. And I would shower in the clubhouse. Oh, you would? Yeah, dude. What a – And I still had a key because I'm like, you know. Well, because you could still get in. Yeah.

That's so wild. How long did you do that? Just a month. A month in the van. That's long enough. That's long enough, dude, to be to be like you know what dude i'm gonna get a job so what was the what was like that was there ever a moment then and stuff like that where you're like i should go back to chicago i gotta get out of here never you never dude i never

doubted dude i know it's not that i never doubted it but i'm like dude what am i gonna go to chicago for like work at the board of Trade and like just be miserable? And smoke outside in the winter. Yeah, smoke outside in the winter and just, you know, acclimate to the cold. Yeah. I was like, no, I didn't want to do that. For some reason, I was like, dude, I was so naive. I don't know why, man.

I was like, I'm going to make it. And everything pointed to the fact that there was no fucking way I was going to make it. Yeah, but. They weren't hiring Latin people back in the day. Because all the roles were that. Bobby and I talk about that all the time. Back when he started, it was always like you know,

Asian guy, store clerk and when he'd go in, they'd be like, can you do a little bit more Asian? And he'd be like, oh, I'm from San Diego. And they're like, I know, but can you Chinese it up? Can you Chinese it up a little bit oh my god but he said they would say that stuff to him but it was so normal back then for them to be like a cast runner to be like can you do more of a mexican thing or yeah dude it was written there and i'm

from chicago so like the the whole latin thing like hey dog what's up doc like i had to learn how to do that like it was and was, and they asked for it. Because everybody sounds like Joe Pesci in Chicago. Right. You know? Yeah. And, no,

but I, dude, I, you remember, do you remember, no, you're too young. I think they were,

there was breakdowns. Like, if there was a, I remember breakdowns. Yeah, if there was a, if there was a movie, whatever,

there were breakdowns, and they give you a description of the character, and who they're looking for. And when I started, the lead, Caucasian lonely. caucasian lonely third like the good old days man dude it wasn't until like the 13th role i was like open to other ethnicities and it'd be like gangbanger one line i was like gotta like, gotta start somewhere. Gotta do gangbanger, one line. I was like, what gang leader? But you know what? The breakdown thing, the thing that always bummed me out,

what I would see is, they'd say, we want someone like, whatever. And they would pick a name. And then you're like, well, just get that fucking guy then. Why do you, like, that always bothered me. If they said something like, they do this now, referentially, they'll be like, like a Michael Peña type. They don't do that.

Yes, they do. Yeah, they do, but they do. Like a Don Cheadle type. Okay, that's it. Okay. You're way better than Don Cheadle. No way, dude. Listen up, Don.

Don is so money, bro. Listen up, Don Cheadle. By the way, I did a movie with Don Cheadle. It was called United States of Leland. And that was like, I mean, I was maybe 2000, 23 years ago. And he's such a fucking good actor. Yeah, he's so good. He's so good.

He started talking to me and I was like, what dude? Cut. Oh, sorry. Yeah. And I was like, oh, it's to that level. He's up there. Holy shit. Yeah. I was like, I got it's to that level he's up there holy shit yeah i was like i gotta study he's a talented fucking dude i could dude i didn't know he was acting he's that good that you're like oh you oh which oh i thought he didn't hear the action

right and he just decided to talk to me and yeah i mean it was that incredible so yes he is amazing you're still better I said it Don Cheadle but I think that like when they use names for an example it always bummed me out because I know I look so unique that like you

either want a red headed guy or you don't there is no like but is there really like a red headed guy you can win whatever role you want no the world is your oyster but i always say like my thing was always you never saw a movie that was like and the and the romantic love interest was a red-headed guy that walks in like it just was just was never, it was never a thing. So it always, like, I look so different than most guys that I would go up against that

I would see a room full of guys and be like, well, it's either they want me or no. There is not going to be a, yeah, it's kind of between you and this guy. It was either, like, no to those normal-looking fucking white guys or this obviously different-looking fucking white guy. Dude, okay, for Dave, did they, was it redhead-specific? No, for Dave, was it redhead specific?

No, with Dave, it was, you know, he wanted someone that didn't look just like him because his manager is, you know, who I play Mike, who's a real guy, is this sweet hippie kid chicago jewish kid who's kind of stony and chill and has curly hair and he was like i can't have this guy look just like should look like me but act a little bit different he's like i can't i gotta have a polar opposite which is true dave and i couldn't be different more different in looks and in reality so like they wanted something completely out of the ordinary

and when dave and i read it was the chemistry was wonderful with that dude dude by the way you just reminded me of something dude because i'm like i remember starting out and i was you know auditioning for all these gangster roles or whatever and what sucked is when you saw like real gangbangers that were scary yeah they're like shit dude i was you know, you buy a ski cap and like some, a button down shirt. What do gangsters wear? Yeah. That's what you got here at home. Like, what does a gangster get?

How does a gangster get into character? Does he have a bang bang gun? Dude, it's not all, dude, and then you're like, I'm kneeling at home at night, keeping all the fuckness paradise. You're like, dude, you know, just getting it. That's on the way there. That's on the way there. You're getting yourself psyched up.

On the way home, it's Journey. Don't stop believing. Or like some cold play. Right, right, right. No, but back then. No news, yellow. Right. It was all yellow.

Oh, shit. I know I didn't get the part. When you know you lost the role again. But you psych yourself up to such a point that you're like, dude, I can get this. And then it's a, you're like, does the guy really have a barcode tattooed to the back of his head? And it was a real thing. That was Danny Trejo's story. Trejo came on the show a couple of years ago and told me.

You know, he was, he had gotten out of jail. A young guy just made a couple of mistakes and he had been an extra, I think. I thought you were going to say just a young guy just made a couple hundred mistakes. A couple hundred mistakes. And he was a background guy and they were trying to teach some guy how to fight or something like that. I'm stupid to not remember. But the director was like, because they asked Dannyy and danny was like no that's kind of not how it goes like in in in jail

like it's kind of like this you know what i mean and the guy was like can you can you can you show the actor like what this would look like and he did it and the guy was literally like that we did can we hire this guy can we hire him as hire him to do this more often? And that was partly how Danny even got into the world of acting. And then said the same thing. They hired him exclusively for a while, just being like, can you be tough guy, gangster guy? And he's like, can I do anything else?

And they're like, no, you got to be tough guy, gangster guy. Yeah, can you imagine playing general counsel? So funny, though. So funny. Can you imagine that, dude? That would be awesome. Your honor. Your honor. I object. Yeah, can you imagine playing general counsel? So funny, though. Can you imagine that, dude? That would be awesome. Your honor! Your honor!

I object! You know what I mean? I would love to see that. Erroneous! Erroneous information! That would be kind of dope. But he finally did kind of get to not play just the exact same thing. At some point, he started to realize that he didn't want to be like always this like the bad

guy quote unquote or whatever yeah but he was saying that's literally how he it led in because he was like i was someone that got in trouble for you know beating the shit out of people and he's like once i this is in his words but he was like once i gave myself to god and realized that i just have to be of service of others because i had taken so much from society that's like's like, I want to start giving back. That's what you think. That's how I feel. Yeah. I feel the same exact same way. You want, once you want to like give back, he's like, it just started to come to him. I, it was, it was, his story was wild though. He was like taking out his neighbor's trash too. And his neighbor introduced him to the guy that got him on a movie set. Like he was, the neighbor was so old. He was an old man. He was dragging out his trash

cans. And he was like, you know, you're such a sweet guy. Like he was, the neighbor was so old. He was an old man. He was dragging out his trash cans and he was like, you know, you're such a sweet guy. You know, if you ever need work, he's like, I do. And that's kind of how

this whole thing started. now I'm going to, I'm going to go home and I'm going to see it. The Trejo episode is great, but that's, it is kind of funny to hear because his perspective

was similar in the idea that, you know, you acting was something you always wanted to do. No, not for me, but we'll get, we'll get back to that.

Really though? No, I, dude, I was a wrestler. I took sixth and state in illinois whoa and then i i was like uh i mean i was like an at like an athlete but then how did i was not like i was i was really good but i wasn't great where did acting slot in and i was um and then i'm like i was one of those dudes that like i was doing calculus my junior year of high school. So I thought I was going to get into finance.

What the fuck? Yeah, dude. Because numbers like for some reason just they made sense to me. Are you autistic? No. Are you sure? Yes. See the way you said it, I think you are.

No, but I don't even know what autistic means. So you are. What does that mean? No, sometimes autistic kids are phenomenal numbers can you name like May 14th 1912 what day was that no definitely not

just guess if it's a Wednesday I'm going to look it up if it's a Wednesday May 14th 1912 if it oh my No, it's not. Dude, come on. May 14th, 1912. If it... Oh. My.

God. Saturday. It was a Saturday, yeah. How'd you know? See, though you did. That was a whole other trick. No, but what was it really? What day?

What day was May 14th, 1912? Tuesday. That was a day off. That was a day off. That was a day off. Come on, it's one day. Dude, I'm like, who can memorize that, dude? No, that is a trait that...

Is there like a... I wonder if there's an algorithm meant to... There is, there is. There's got to be like a... Oh, it's probably based on like the... where the one moves in January, right? See, you would know this. See, you would know this.

This is why you're good with numbers. For me, I'm like, those guys are just smart guys. That's the only way I logically... I'm so stupid. I'm like, that's just a smart guy. Those guys are just smarty pants. Dude, I tell you what, dude. The one and the one always equal two.

So how did you... Then how? Athlete, numbers, why act? Why? Where did that come no no i so i was like i was gonna go to northwestern business school oh smart boy and um smart and so yeah i mean but dude where i went everybody was going to brown and yale and all that stuff you know what i mean so i was like yeah i mean like whatever um and i was working uh at harris bank and they were gonna pay for my i just took a working at Harris Bank, and they were going to pay for my – I just took a bunch of tests junior year, and they're like, okay, great.

We'll pay for your college. But you have to be, like, an executive for five years. I was like, wait, it's going to take me, like, six years. Eleven years, I'm like, oof, I don't know if I want to do this. My best friend's mom, because I worked at the Board of Trade, and I was imitating these guys all coked out out of their brain they were just coked out just jaw jacking dude yeah just jaw jacking just like i don't know i don't know man corn's probably gonna push i have no idea dude here here's here's

what i love here's what i love you know it's always like here's what i love and they want to talk about everything dude and i'm like dude, enough. And so I was imitating him. And that's when she said, like, dude, you're really good at imitating. Why don't you try acting? And I said, I think it's a little bit more involved in that. She's like, I don't think so. And she was right. She was right, dude.

She was right. She was right. What's her name? Sylvia Torres. Shout out. Dude, Sylvia Torres. Torres, you knew it, baby. She was right. I don't think so Sylvia Torres. Shout out, Ms. Torres. Dude, Sylvia Torres. Torres, you knew it, baby. She was right.

I don't think so. No, I don't think so. And I was like, oh, yeah. And for some reason, that made sense to me, the way she said it. She was like, what are you talking about? Yeah, right. Just imitate. Just give you a little bit of clarity because you're like, come on.

Dude, what a great piece of advice. She's like, just imitate the person on the page. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, you're right. And I've been it that ever since of course i'm like i had to study and go back and i was sure but she was very right but the initial the initial clarity you had was just from mrs miss torah is just giving you the the real shit yeah dude because i'm like i'm now i'm like the you know 30 minutes or less or, you know, I did this movie. What is it?

Observing Report? Yeah, Observing Report. Yeah. Like, there was a dude who was, like, black and Mexican in my high school. And he kind of acted like a pimp. And I was like, I'm going to do that. That's the guy you knew? That's the guy.

That's wild. That's the guy. Black and Mexican. Blacksican. Blacksican. Blacksican. I think I say it in the movie, too. Or Mexi-black. Or black. Black. It's just Blacksican works so much better. Blexican. Blexican. Blexican. I think I say it in the movie too. Or Mexi-black. Or black.

Black. It's just Blexican works so much better. Yeah, dude. Why not? You had it the first try. All right. You don't have to say this

if you can pass. But I would say Pass. All right. No, no. What was it? I was going to say get naked. Best movie that you've done.

Worst movie that you've done. Oh my gosh. It's tough. That's tough. Can I give you like... Nah, don't make it too convoluted. Just do it. You suck.

No, no, no, no. I'll give you like different parts of my life. How's that? Sure. For different reasons. Like number one, like I told you, when Crash won the oscar i was by myself like at one of these hollywood parties yeah and i was like whoa yeah and all these exec looks at me just like you know there was agents and all they're like who knows who's this asshole but it changed my life it totally changed my life it was the

first time that i had like a real part and so so that I can, you know, because you studied, you know, that I can pour everything into. And I was like, oh, dude, like there's history. There's blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I can really act in this part. And Crash was that. I thought I was like, dude, this will get me more guest stars. I can work a little bit more. That was your first thought.

I'm going to get some more fucking guest stars. I'm going to get a little bit more work. Yeah. Because I only worked on it for a week, and a guest star is a week. Yeah. A week of work. So that one. And then, dude, I remember from that I met Oliver Stone.

Wow. And then I co-starred in a movie for Oliver Stone, dude. And I actually, I tried to talk myself out I mean try to talk him out of it and I was like dude here's the thing I only like I've never starred in anything I the most I've ever worked on something is like four days for for Crash you're telling Oliver Stone you don't want to do it I was like I'm just telling you I was just being honest and I thought honesty is the best policy and he's like you're the guy you're the guy and so he hired me anyway and so but but anyway crash crash was really cool yeah um uh end of watch is another one where i'm like i i was i spent five months researching and and and going through

just studying and stuff or something that i it's almost like golf you know how you when you're working on a shot and you're just working on the shot. Over and over. And then you're like, and then you're like just waiting for that discovery, waiting for something to click and then it clicks. So end of watch. Narcos is another one. Yeah.

Huge. Yeah. I, I, I, you know, I sat with the material for like a year and a half, maybe, maybe even two years. I don't know. Whatever. It was a long time that I was able to sit with it. I felt comfortable with it

you know alright give me the worst what's the thing that you did that wow you were just fucking waiting I knew you're like

just say whatever you want you know what it is because we all have well you I have way more than you do of things that I I mean you've been at it

for so much longer than I have but I have so many things where I'm like god is that so stupid dude you know what's crazy oh you son of a I'm proud of everything I've ever done don't lie longer than I have. But I have so many things where I'm like, God, is that so stupid? Dude, you know what's crazy? Oh, you son of a bitch. I'm proud of everything I've ever done.

Dude, you're. Don't lie to me, dude. Don't give me the Hollywood answer. No, no, but it's just you. Give me the one where you will. Just the way you waited. I know. Just the way you're like, yeah.

I'm pretty good at this. I know what I'm doing. What's the worst? What's the worst? What's the one. And the, like, you just enjoyed the shit out of it, dude. What's the one that you're like, gosh. What's the worst? What's the one... And you just enjoy the shit out of it, dude. What's the one that you're like, gosh. What's the worst?

Shit, man. You can do it. It's over. It's in the past. You're never going to do it again. Oh, man. Rip off the band-aid, dude. What's the one?

Oh, gosh. Dude, and it feels like I blocked it out. It's making me so nervous right now. Give me a stinker, dude. Give me a big stinker. You know when your dog takes a shit and you see the steam coming off in the morning? What was that for you? What was a stinker? Oh my gosh, bro.

It's so fun for me. For some reason, it feels so good to watch you think about it. Now I'm burping and like sweating. What's his name? He's like, the burping, yeah, I killed him. Of course I killed him. I killed all of them. Dude, I literally have blocked it out. I've blocked him out.

Okay, I don't know about the movie, It's Sucking, but I sucked. You sucked in it. That's even more. That's better, right? That's more humble. Which one did you suck in? I think I sucked on Cesar Chavez. Why?

Because I was I didn't feel like I really got in there and I had enough time to do it you felt underprepared and I was like I didn't connect with the material and it's bugged me ever since and then when I see it

and I was like I didn't connect I fucking suck but you carry it with you at all or no? it's gone and I was like, I didn't connect. I fucking suck. Does that, but you carry it with you at all, or no, no, no, it's gone? Dude, I absolutely carry it with me. So on the golf course, if I need to fuck with you,

I'm going to go Cesar Chavez. No, no, no, because now it's, like, it's like, it's like golf is to you where you piss yourself off. It pisses me off. Yeah. Like, nobody's going to piss me off. Like, I got horrible reviews, so it like i got i got what i deserved did you eat that you eat that stuff the reviews or you don't you pay no mind no dude because i'm like reviews are so weird because i'm like if you look at rotten tomatoes right i don't agree with most of their

shit yeah that's it that's all like if there's a comedy and it's around 50%, it's probably really good. Really good, yeah. Probably really good. 20%, hmm. Could be good. It could be really good. I don't know, who knows? And if it's really bad bomb,

then I'm like, this movie's hilarious. Like, dude, sometimes it's like 85% and then you see it and you're like, this is a load of shit. Yeah, 100%.

Like, what box is it hitting? Yeah, it's fake hitting yeah it's like so i'm like what comedies no dramas a little bit more but i do um i think especially if i know that i shit the bed i'll read them all you will fuck it wow that's so masochistic you like the pain you're like i want to feel the pain no and also like i want to see if they're right oh because i'm like i'm like nope that's not why i sucked you know why you suck you're like you're wrong about why i sucked yep you almost want to write them and be like dude you're wrong my suck is when i was like i was like i didn't personalize it i didn't i didn't actually

connect with the material enough right so that i was charged up about it. That's really the why. Sure. Right? And instead I'd be like, oh, he's miscast. He was this. He was that. He's like, no, dude. I just needed to do a little bit more research until I could really, really get into it.

Was there a name? You don't have to say it. Is there ever a name in someone that criticizes you that you've seen multiple times that you like, it's like, you know it? Oh, like if there's somebody that's after me, like in terms of a critic? Yeah. No, I don't read the names. I just read the – and I'm just like, just like you on the golf course.

But listen up there, critics. You hear that? He don't read the names. You don't mean nothing, baby. That's my favorite thing is like they know that a lot of times critics are nameless and faceless, so they get to just say whatever they want, as cruel or as complimentary as it may be. But the trick is you don't remember the names.

So that hurts a little bit. That hurts a little bit for the critics, I'm sure. But here's the thing, though, dude. They get to take the shots. If it's something good. It hits. It sticks. I get all the names.

Yeah, you know the names. I'm like, hmm. That guy's cool. Yeah. That guy's cool. That guy is cool. Yeah. That guy's cool. That guy is cool. Okay. I love you.

I appreciate you. We got to get you back to bed. You have a big early day tomorrow. I've given away more cash to strangers on the street. We're going to put Mr. Peña's address right here so you guys can show up out in front of his house at any point and ask for cash. He has tons of cash on him at any given time. His phone number will be right under it as well. We end the show the same way with one word or one phrase. You look in that camera and you say one word or one phrase.

It's going to end the episode. It's embedded in history forever. So make it count whenever you're ready. That camera, one word or one phrase. Shitting the bed. That camera, one word or one phrase. Shitting to bed. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the whore. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger.

I like gingers.