Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Mike Birbiglia

Episode Date: November 24, 2023

Happy Thanksgiving folks! While you're polishing off some more pie make room for another treat as we sit down with the one and only Mike Birbiglia comedy extraordinaire and master of turning life's quirks into laughs. From everyday escapades to the chaos of parenthood, Mike's humor knows no bounds. Check out his new special: The Old Man In The Pool out now on Netflix! #mikebirbiglia #andrewsantino #whiskeyginger #podcast =============================================== SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS RABBITHOLE $5 OFF YOUR FIRST ORDER PROMO CODE: RABBIT HTTP://RABBITHOLEDISTILLERY.COM/BUYNOW AURA GET $40 OFF YOUR ORDER PROMO CODE: WHISKEY HTTP://AURAFRAMES.COM/WHISKEY LUCY 20% OFF YOUR 1ST ORDER & FREE SHIPPING PROMO CODE: WHISKEY HTTP://LUCY.CO/WHISKEY ====================== Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. We got a good one for you today. Like my man, Steve Harvey, done say, it's Mike Birbiglia, the Birbigs. And he's got a special out right now called Old Man and the Pool on Netflix. Go watch it, man. I love this dude. Birbigs is so funny, so smart, so witty, so quick, so shop. Very, very funny, talented comedian who does more than just your tradition stand-up. He is a wonderful storyteller and brings the comedy world of his life to life. Old Man and the Pool on Netflix right now. Also, tonight, right here, right now, I am in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

If you're not at the show, what are you doing? Tonight in Milwaukee, tomorrow night, Chicago Theater. I think we're sold out. Come on by and wave to me from the outside. Then we're going to be in Minneapolis and Madison with me and Bobby Lee ending the tour this year. Minneapolis and Madison. A couple tickets left in Madison, maybe. And then in the new year, we're going to Atlantic City.

We're going to be in Reno, Tucson, Sacramento, Temecula, Long Beach. We're all over the place. Go to badfriendspod.com, badfriendspod.com for those tickets. Enough rambling from me. Let's go to the episode. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You were that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger.

Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the whore. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger.

My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. I said that for all my guests, but I mean it once again. Today, smooth this morning, it's Mike Birbiglia! I didn't catch any of that. You shouldn't. And here is what we've got going on today. Mike heard a conversation with me and Petey Petey Holmes

about coffee. Now, look, could McCone, my assistant, have gotten this all wrong? Very possibly. But we wanted to test out different versions of the coffee because Birbiglia will tell you there was a discrepancy over...

Three shots. Three shots versus... Two shots. Yes. Yes, exactly. In a small cup. In a small cup. So let's see what we've got here.

What did you get him now? Let's explain. There's cappuccino there, right? The reason... By the way, the reason why I care about this is I love the Pete Holmes episode, and you guys go pretty deep on coffee. We get, yeah.

And I was like literally, like I could watch them talk about coffee for three hours. You know who's it? Tom Papa's the same way. Papa is a, yeah, and this is my regular coffee, right? Yep. All right, so here we go. So what's the tall? What do we got the big one?

What is that? I think. See this? I told you he messed it up. Oh, I hate this. What did I say though? Because that's the one that has too much milk. Yeah, I told you he messed it up. Oh, I hate this. What did I say though? Cause that's the one that has too much milk. Yeah, I told you he messed it up and I knew it.

I said mediums for all of them. No, no, no, no, no. I only said large for mine. No, see, no, see, see. And see this is the thing. This is the only one that's gonna be correct. That will be correct. Cause it's small as a cup.

But let's taste it last then. Okay, okay, okay. Let's taste the first one and see how terrible this is. This ridiculous one? Yeah, let's see the ridiculous one. What the flat white was. When I said good flat white, they were like... Who was there? Who was there?

It was a brunette girl. I don't know. The little tiny skinny one? Yeah. Yeah, I know. I know. Okay. She's a little new.

You know what's so funny is she's a little new, and if the owner was there, they would have been bummed. Yeah. Okay, so this is the, for whatever reason, tall cappuccino, whatever it is. Let's see the tall... Let's see super tall cap. It's not bad. Three shots?

Yeah. It's not bad. You know what's so funny? It's still because their coffee's really good, so I go, even a bad pour will still taste good, even though the numbers are wrong. I wanted to slam it, but it's got a nice taste. Well, you know what this is? I don't know how you feel.

You know Jay Larson? You know Jay Larson. Oh, yeah, yeah. Jay Larson is a self-proclaimed expert of arnold palmer's is he well he loves the mic he loves a perfect mix of arnold palmer as he says yeah and his accent he knows the he says he's got like the right numbers down i remember we were talking about this one time and even if the numbers are a little off if the iced tea is really good yeah and lemonade is really good, you can excuse it.

This might be that kind of excuse, right? Yeah, yeah. I think the coffee. Should we say what the coffee is? Priscilla's? Oh, yeah. I love Priscilla's. I've been a long fan of the Big P.

Yeah, so whatever they're doing, I think that that's it. Now, let's see the cap. Tell me what the cap takes like. So this is their regular cap. Here's you on the flight home, by the way, just gripping the seat, breaking it. No, I'm like, I heard Seinfeld talk about this once. I'm unlimited coffee. You can do all day?

Pretty much. I can do four or five coffees in a day. Okay, so my limit is always, I've limited myself to, well, that's a lie, one to two in the morning, and then one in the afternoon, and that's max out. I'm max out. Good for you.

Only because for years I was doing as much as I wanted all the time, and then at night I would be not caffeine buzzing, but just like anxiety stiff. Yeah, I get you. I get you. I'd just be kind of spaced out, anxiety stiff, like I should get rid of this stuff in my body. No, I get that. Well, it's funny because Petey Holmes, our mutual friend.

Our buddy. I did my show, The Old Man in the Pool, which is now a comedy special. Which is now available through transition. The Old Man in the Pool is out right now. You can go watch it as we speak. When this episode is live, the special will be out, and you can go see it. I want to talk about that, but go ahead.

Yeah, so when I was in London doing it, I did it in the west end for like four or five weeks and it was hard to be away from my family i got really depressed they never came they came at the end it was tough my daughter's first day third grade was the same day as my first day of my show it was brutal yeah and it was like one of those things show business sometimes like the we don't have the theater for that's the only date we had you know you go okay i gotta do this i was depressed really depressed i mean pete i said to pd on the phone i go i'm rock bottom yeah like and i don't think he's ever heard me even say that and this is genuine this isn't like one of those uh man i'm really bummed about this like this is like no i i this is genuine. This isn't like one of those, man, I'm really bummed about this. Like, this is like, no, this is a life moment where I'm going to regret it or be hurt by it. Yeah, and I was really down.

And he said, I think you've got to listen to The Power of Now, the audio book, which is Eckhart Tolle. Yeah. And it really helped me. I mean, I have to say, it really helped me i mean i have to say really helped me it did yeah and it's i think the reason is sorry this circles back to what we're talking about a second ago is as comedians you know whatever it is you're saying you're you know you're you're having anxiety for me it's as comedians it's like our job is literally to use our mind to take apart things all the time to dissect coffee to dissect the sandwich place to dissect your relationships and we get very good at it if we're any good and my problem is i think a lot of comedians' problem, we can't shut it off. Yeah.

And so the Eckhart Tolle book is all about separating your mind from your consciousness and seeing your mind as a tool for your consciousness and not your consciousness itself. Right. So that was helpful. The division makes it a little bit easier. You still exist in that space,

but it's the same thing I go through with this. I've talked about it on this, like, uh, I have this, this terrible back injury that's caused crazy pain and the pain I talk about neuroplastic pain is the thing that's a real term in the medical field, meaning like, um, you know what, uh, phantom limbs are, you know what that is, right? Sure. Yeah. So phantom limb is what they would call neuroplastic. You're an amputee and you think you still have an arm. You do not. It's all neuroplastic, meaning like your brain is still firing these weird, crazy signals with the assumption that it is there because the pain was so tremendously traumatic. And this, what helps these exercises I do, they help some of my actual pain subside a little bit, but it also helps the

neuroplastic pain kind of disappear a little bit. The pain is still real, but the- So what do you do to do that? Well, I mean, there's a litany of things. Honestly, a lot of breathing exercises are a big part of it and stretching and doing like yoga, but also like, it's a lot of meditation. It's weird. A lot of it is brain heavy focus. So what you're saying in The Power of Now is once you learn to divide these two things and really kind of separate that all-consuming thought, anxiety, consciousness, and if you can kind of peel those in two separate sectors, it makes it a little bit easier for you to handle, right? Yeah.

When everything is at once, it's kind of like if you looked at a calendar and you saw all the things you had to do for the day. Yeah. You kind of want to lose it. Yeah. But if you were like, if I can just do that. No, I need to make lists. Yeah, otherwise you're – I just fall down an anxiety hole, you know?

I find that I fall down an anxiety hole. I even get with my podcast, I don't know if you have it with this podcast, which when you're in New York, I'd love to have you on. Yeah, I'm coming in a month. Oh, great. Come on, working it out. I get anxious before the recording. Yeah, I do.

Oh, you do? Yeah, but it's anxious because I want to see the guest there. The anxiety gap is the same I have before I go on stage when I'm like, I just really want to get this going. I just want to start the engine. That I just want to like start the engine. If that, that lull before is the most nauseating. Every athlete I've ever spoken to, by the way, feels the exact same way. Oh, interesting. You talk to any like performer, any, anyone that has to perform live, sport, comedy, whatever that is, uh, that lull is the most, that's the most

anxiety inducing where you're like waiting for the thing to start, then once it starts you know the moment you set foot on stage it's almost like you take a breath, it's almost like it feels like relief you're like, there you are, like they're all there, it's so weird how people I think fans alike assume

are you ever like nervous before the set it's like, not nervous, I just I really would like to get it going. Yeah. I just want to start. Let's see this cappuccino, by the way. Gold. It's gold.

Yeah, yeah. It's gold. He likes it. Yeah, see? Look at his smile. Way to go, McCone. Way to go. Even the big pour was not bad.

That wasn't bad. This is great. This is, it's a delicious little. You know what? This is making my whole trip. The only thing that would make it better... I'm not even kidding. You know what would make it better?

In a real cup. That's the only difference. Really? Paper cups are nice, but when you drink it locally there in a real cup, it just... I think you're right. No, I'm a big real cup guy.

Real cup. It does something to it. I like a nice ceramic mug. Oh, love it. You know, I like the discomfort of a small cappuccino cup. I think it's funny that it's so tiny. I like that it fits oddly in my fingers.

Yes. It's like as an American, we have everything that's easily grippable. Like, look at this. They designed a bottle of whiskey so you can hold the sides. I like that they have little cappuccino cups. They're not made for hand fitting. How is this? This is no good.

Also good. Not good. Not good. Not good. This one's no good. This is third place. What is this? What. Not good. Not good. This one's no good. This is third place. What is this? What is that?

Regular iced coffee with regular milk. Yeah, that's been sitting. It's just not. It's just not kind of anything. I mean, I've been on the road as a comic for like 25 years, so it's like I'll do rest stop coffee. Like I'll do it if I have to do it. Yeah, you have to. At some point you have to.

So I've seen the spectrum. You've done it all. But once you taste something like this, you just go, oh. It's over. You're craving it all the time. Yeah, it's great. Because I don't do drugs. I don't drink a lot.

I'm like, you know. You never did drugs. Never did hard drugs, no. I mean, I do. It's funny. Like I'm working out my new hour right now. And a lot of the things that I'm ruminating on are having to do with, like, I have an eight-year-old daughter. And how, like, when I was, like, I'm seeing the world through her eyes.

And I'm remembering that, like, when I was a kid, I thought grownups knew everything. And now I'm a 45-year-old man. Like, we don't know anything. No. We're faking it. All of us are pretending all the time. Right. So, like, for example, with drugs, it's like, you know, at some point I'm going to have to be like, so don't do drugs.

But then, like, also, like, but I do, you know, I take Klonopin for my sleepwalking, which is, it's not a drug. It's a drug. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Classifying the levels of drugs that are appropriate is very funny to your kid. She's like, well, why is that better? Your kid's so intelligent. She's like, why is that better than psychedelics?

You're like, well, I don't know. I can't explain it. There's so many things I don't know. in adulthood is like is like that in every I feel like in every relationship there should be one of the people should know how electricity and plumbing and you know heating works and we don't have that

and so now we're like looking for a third in our thruple you know cause like we need a husband you know we because, like, we need a husband. Yeah. You know, we don't have a husband. Yeah, we really do.

And we need to zap him back from 1958. That's the thing. Oh, absolutely. Can we get that guy here? Because that guy would be able to level us out. It is funny. I bet you 50 years or 60 years ago, both the husband and the wife or the couple living in the home

almost always knew all the things. I think they both knew the things. They knew what kind of the things, how to do it, how they worked, and, well, your father's replacing one of the generators. They know. Yeah. And now it started to separate. Now, at the same time, the bottom dropped out. Now, neither

me or my wife know anything. Here's what happened yesterday. The plumber came because a pipe was leaking that they had originally fixed. So he said, we'll put the new version on because I think I know what happened. He shows up, and my wife says, do you want to ask him about the leaky guest

toilet in the hallway? Because I went and bought a new pump thing. I said, I can do it. I can do this. I know exactly how to fix that pump inside the toilet. Oh, you do? Well, just from trial and error. Okay. And she said, but you haven't done it yet. And she's right.

And she's very right. And because my fear is I'm going to break it more, and then I'll really have an issue. So I said, well, I've got to go ask him if this is the right mechanism for it. Yeah. The new pump, because i think the old air pump wasn't filtering right yeah and i leave i go run an air and i come home and she goes did you try the toilet in the hallway yeah i said it's fixed i i yeah oh awesome so did he was it

and i looked down right next to the sink is still the old packaging with the pump inside with the receipt on top of it to return it i said he didn't even switch it out she goes it was just the chain the chain wasn't the right length inside for the flapper and i was like that's it that was it that's embarrassing and right you should be that's that's your level yeah i should have known chain right but i saw chain look fine it's so funny you describing you describing your wife your wife saying like but did you did but did you do it i love that because gaffigan and i were talking about how we all there's a healthy fear one has of one's wife or husband sure yeah because that person has the power to crush you oh yeah with their words oh because they know you're they know everything they know your little hurt points yeah they know the hurt points they know where the bodies are buried and it's like and it's it's a

crazy power it's really kind of fascinating when do they use it when do they use it? When do they use it? Yeah, yeah. How long have you been married? Seven. Seven. I'm 15. Yeah. Oh, she's used it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, we're so deep in.

We've been together almost 20 years, and we've been married for 15 years. We have a child together. I mean, it's wild. Has she ever had a moment in your relationship where she kind of not only called you on your own shit but did it in a way that kind of restructured the way your relationship works you know i think so it's funny because she's you know the old man in the pool is my new special and it's all about life and death and mortality and kind of like honestly it's like about i reference for example like the warren zivon famous interview with letterman do you remember remember it? Do I remember it?

Yeah, I remember it. He knows I watched that thing. I've watched it to death dude. This is gonna. I'm gonna kiss you on your forehead Yesterday I said this is someone someone goes. I love this song. I've never heard that Bobby Bobby never heard There was a song that came out On wherever we were we were in a restaurant and I go wow what a fucking what a playlist cause it was it was yes and it was from handsome boy

handsome boy I don't know though and it was hold on I do want to find it because I just like it so much it's do you keep in this part? yeah we leave this in

because it's unfortunate for me yeah because I look stupid anyway he goes who is it? I said that's Warren Zeevon you don't know who that is? and he goes no and I said Bob

you have to go home right now and go watch him and Letterman talk about his diagnosis was this Bobby Lee? Bob? oh yeah you call him Bob yeah Bob and I and Letterman talk about his diagnosis. Was this Bobby Lee? Bob? Oh, yeah, you call him Bob. Yeah, Bob. And I said, you have to watch his diagnosis, essentially, to America. Unbelievable.

And for fans that don't know Warren Zevon, he basically, he was very close to Letterman, and he said, in his final days, was going to do one of his last performances on there. And I, honestly, that gets me. He says, enjoy every sandwich. Enjoy every fucking sandwich. So Letterman says to him, experiencing this the way you are, you're facing down your end of your life, what have you learned? What can you teach us?

He says enjoy every sandwich. And sometimes Jenny will say, to answer your question, she'll go, you should watch your own show. Oh, that's funny. Because the show is all about living in the moment and experiencing. And she's right. And whenever she says it, I go, you're right,

but... No but. It's in every day. But she's right. She's right. It sucks because I know we take these cliches for granted

when someone's like, enjoy... Those things kind of come and they go. But I think the more we hear them, like the more we hear them from our significant others

or our good friends like Pete does that with me me and Pete check each other down all the time I think the more you hear it from someone you care about the more you do get to actually enjoy the sandwich Seinfeld had a quote that I heard the other day that made me laugh very passively I don't know what the interview was

but he goes you know when Seinfeld is doing his like and he's up here and he's at the very top. You know, it's like the last of the, he goes, and I won't scream it like him, but he said, the guy that gets to heaven with the lowest mileage on his Porsche loses. And I was like, that's so funny. Oh, that's nice.

In a very Seinfeldian way. Yeah, he's saying, you don't get to enjoy the thing you made? What a fucking bummer. What a bummer. The other thing Seinfeldian way. Yeah, he's saying, you don't get to enjoy the thing you made? What a fucking bummer. What a bummer. The other thing Seinfeld said in one of these interviews, and I don't even really know Seinfeld. He's one of the few comedians who I actually have never really had a conversation with. Yeah.

But I've seen him here and there in New York. But there's an interview where he goes, you know, your job is a type of torture. I'm paraphrasing. Yeah. And he goes, and if you can get a job where it's, like, the least amount of torture and you enjoy the torture, then you win. Yeah. I enjoy the torture. I think that I do you win. Yeah. I enjoy the torture. I do too.

It's actually very calming for me to hear him say that. I'm like, yes, that's right. I got to do my dream job. I'm a comedian. I make these shows. I make these specials. I make movies. It's so hard. I have so much anxiety to go back to what we were talking about earlier. I experience anxiety

all the time. But i i love it and you know i in my last special which was called the new one about having a child even though like i never wanted to have a child i talk about how um if you're lucky in your life there are moments where you feel like there's a – where things make sense and you feel joy. There's moments of joy. Like joy can't be a constant. Miserable. So miserable. Yeah.

I've talked about the book Some. You know the book Some? I never read that, no. Oh, it's great, man. And it basically says that. It's like you couldn't have all of these if you were given the option in the afterlife to experience a thousand years of sadness yeah and then um a thousand years of happiness followed right after consecutively yeah would you rather have that or

the way that you've lived and you'd say well i'd rather have a sad day than a good day instead of a thousand years of hurt and it's like yeah well then this is it don't you understand yeah the balance is going to be uh what it is you can't control when these things go up and down but the beauty is that they do go up and down that's why i like you know i did this morning at my hotel it's like i i was feeling a little down and i write in my journal first thing when you wake up yeah Yeah. Yeah. I try to do no phone, no technology right before I can, you know, think anything. And I literally, I say this is a line from my special where I go like, I go, you know, I feel, I find if you write down what you're saddest about or angriest about, you can start to see your own life as a story. And when you see your own life as a story, you can start to zoom out and encourage the main character to make better decisions.

And I feel like that's, and it was true. Yeah. I mean, this morning, I was feeling kind of down. I wrote in my journal. I wrote about what I'm upset about. And then I'm like,

yeah, things are good. You open the curtains to your nice hotel. Things are okay. Get me coffee. In here, we pour whiskey. This episode of Whiskey Ginger is brought to you by Rabbit Hole Distillery and their one-of-a-kind Kentucky bourbon and rye whiskeys. Behind Rabbit Hole is an award-winning spirits baby.

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rabbitholddistillery.com slash buy now. Promo code rabbit, $5 off your first order. Please drink responsibly. Ginger. I like gingers. No, it is true that you, I think if you, especially because, look, and I want to talk about the special

because it's pertinent in my world because when you talk about your father, by the way, and it is such a good piece that's circling through the internet about your father at 56 and his father at 56 as well. And I think a lot of people experience something with their father with death that boys especially where you're like, man, am I gonna be just like my dad?

Yeah. In a million different ways. I feel it more by the day. Like, am I gonna be exactly like my dad? And for me, it connected me when you say that because my fear was always not turning out. You know, my father struggled with addiction. Yeah yeah so i was always scared of that yeah and he's made himself a more whole man years later but that was always this looming thing that i try to avoid but in in an effort to avoid that you know i would have other habits that were worse where it was

like my quickness to get angry yes you know what i mean and so right when you when you avoid so i guess my question for you is like what you knowing your father's you know path yeah when you would you joke about so eloquently but when you say i should just take that whole year off and it's like when my when i turned 56 right exactly my dad had a heart attack at 56 his dad had a heart attack at 56 so you should take the year take the the year off when I turned 56, yeah. But in that, what I really saw through that was do you, as a man that's going through this life now as you're becoming a father of your own, are you trying to do all the things your father didn't do?

Are you trying to kind of not go that route? Well, I feel like what I've experienced is through my teens and 20s, and honestly, arguably what got me into comedy in the first place is this massive attempt to reverse, you know, not be my dad. My dad was a doctor. I'm going to go be a road comic. He didn't want me to do it at all. Of course not.

He had no – he was like, what are you doing? Like, I mean, he was – he was pretty – he was actually quite angry in my 20s when I moved to New York to become a comedian. He was very angry. My brother Joe, who I collaborate with a lot on writing, like really had to talk my parents down from the ledge. Beyond this disappointment, was it disowning? Was it like I don't want really had to talk my parents down for the ledge beyond this disappointment was it disowning was it like I don't know No, no, I don't know there that they would never that I don't think that that's in their their DNA You're not the child of an immigrant No, because they just disowned their children is I you know for he man where he talks about that

It's like the moment he told his father he was gonna want to be a comedian his dad was like well That's it for us For us, you know, well, that's it for us. I don't know if I need to, that's it for us. You know, it's that idea of like, oh, so you're, oh, so we're not cool anymore. It's like, no, no, no, no.

I just, I want to try something. I want to try. The closest I ever came to that was, was without going into detail, some political conversations in the last 10 years. Well, yeah, that's always gonna, yeah, that's guns out. Those, those were pretty hard.

Yeah. I used to poke the bear with my dad because my mom loved how much it pissed him like my mom would laugh and she's like don't come don't do it but i would make such obvious heavy-handed jokes that were sliding him yeah and he would get so fucking mad but it was so funny to watch him do that like i just i love to bait him i don't do it anymore but but sorry to get but yeah to get back to the so i so yeah in a way like like i grew up in massachusetts irish catholic town yeah you know shrewsbury central mass and it was and it was like i said this like in my first solo show sleep with me years ago but like growing up like the thing you'd hear from people a lot was like just like don't tell anyone you know and it's like and of course like you know

catholic church like that's clearly like went a little too far with the don't tell stuff yeah that was their whole thing well yeah that's one of my jokes is like from one of my first specials it was an altar boy as a kid and the answer is no no. No, yeah. I wasn't. I think it's because I knew I was a talker. But, like, it really did infuse with all of the culture of growing up is people just didn't open up about stuff. No. And so I ended up being this comedian who's kind of confessional. Like, I tell the things that I'm embarrassed about. I think are ridiculous about me.

Right. And are embarrassing. And I don't even want to say. P.D. Holmes and I always talk about this. If you're not talking about the things that are your secrets, then it's like, what are we even talking about? Right. What are we talking about? Why are we here?

Right. You know what I mean? Someone's got to open up that door. Yeah. And so that's how I ended up, yeah, being a comic. I don't know how the hell we ended up yeah being a comic i don't i don't know how the hell we ended up in this in this conversation we're gonna keep doing it okay okay shrewsbury mass by the way yeah what a name it's like it's built to be a quaint town shrewsbury

no and it was it was it's a great it's a great little town i actually went there recently they were doing like a a peacock was doing like a little documentary about my comedy and and and we went back to my childhood home and everything are you the are you the pride of shrewsbury one of these apparently i i didn't think i was has anybody else come from there no no there's not a lot there's down the street was the birth control pill. They invented it. What? Down the street from where I grew up at the Worcester Foundation. But there's a weird connection, though, because I ended up with bladder cancer when I was 20. And literally, like, the—I've never said this in anything.

Literally, the doctor goes, like, this is really unusual. People who are 20 years old, they took out this tumor and it was malignant and all this stuff. He goes, do you, have you worked with toxic paints or have you been around like a lab of any kind? You know, it's like literally down the street.

It is. And so then, yeah, and a bunch of people in our neighborhood ended up with cancer. And I know, it's a lot And I know, it's a lot. I know, it's a lot. This episode of Whiskey Deter brought to you by... But anyway, no, there's not a ton of well-known people out of Shrewsbury.

But yeah, it is a quaint little town. You reminded me, by the way, before I get back to that, there's a documentary called The Devil We Know. And that's about the invention of Teflon and what that did to the town. And if you haven't seen that, people at home, my God, will it shock your core what Teflon did to, like this, to local people. We're like, why does everybody have weird cancer in this neighborhood from this factory? And then skip forward real fast.

Interesting fact, Teflon is being found in blood from everyone around the world. Oh, I can't take it. Dating back to the Korean War. Oh, I can't even take it. Did you watch Chernobyl? Oh, come on. Chernobyl, Craig Mazin's series is a masterwork. It's unreal.

But it's devastating in relation to that. Back to Shrewsbury. Shrewsbury is no Chernobyl. No, no, no, no, no. It's just in relation to that. Back to Shrewsbury. Shrewsbury is no Chernobyl. No, no, no, no, no. It's just batter cancer. What are you going to do? When you left and your old man is a doctor and you go to the city, there had to have been a point when he was like,

man, this kid has definitely got a thing. You mean a many good? No, was there just a switch for your father that was like, I think he should continue on in the past? Oh, I think when I did Letterman,

I did Letterman young. So it was like, I did it when I was 24. Holy shit. And it was- You had to have been one of the youngest to do Letterman then, right?

Yeah, so I think it was me and I think Chappelle did it when he was like 19. I do remember that, yeah. Bobcat maybe did it when he was 20, something like that. Right. And I don't think there's many other folksappelle did it when he was like 19. I do remember that, yeah. Bobcat maybe did it when he was 20, something like that. And I don't think there's many other folks who did it.

And that's young. And it didn't go over well with the other comics, I will say. They were pissed because you got it. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck that guy. What does he do that I don't do? That's how it always is at that level.

It's like, oh, that guy got to Nigel? Oh, okay. Why? Who does he know? Does he know someone? that's how it always is at that level it's like oh that guy got that guy got to Nigel? oh okay why? who does he know? does he know someone? took me like 10 years to live that down that sucks like now

like you have the store yeah and we have the cellar yeah in New York right and they're kind of a one for one in a certain way yeah

and I love the cellar I love the comics at the cellar but what's so funny is like you know I see I meet all these younger comics and they're great. And it's like, they have no idea. I'll tell them stories. I'll be like, I used to be slashed limb for limb by Patrice O'Neill and Bill Burr and

O'Connell and all those guys. I mean, it was merciless. Like they don't even give it a grasp how mean people were to me. I mean, it was because of that. I got Letterman when I was a kid. Success puts a big target on your back. But then weirdly, Todd Glass told me this once. I love Todd.

And can you do it like Todd does it? Can you say it like he said it? Let me tell you about... No no I don't know like no let me tell you about David Spade no

David Spade no it's uh I'm not an impressionist but he's so he is Todd is very like no no

no stop no stop this is important Mike this no i know you're making that you're breezing past this this is important david spade you know that's very good this intonation he has every single word is so big oh okay oh okay he gets bigger and then goes smaller yeah i love talking to me too he's fantastic the first i opened for him when i was a door person at the washington dc improv when i was in college and he's one of the most influential comedians on my whole career yeah he's such a magician man he's so fun to watch

but he's he transformed he said this thing to me once though because he came to new york and it was like todd lynn who had passed and uh and pat, who had passed, who's now passed, they were both going into me hard. And Todd was just in town, and he's just like, what is happening? You know what I mean? Why? Why are you guys doing this to this guy? And Todd walked out with me, and Todd was just like, why did they do that?

I was like, I don't know, man. That's just what it's like around here. That's so brutal. And he goes, and he said to me, he goes, David Spade, when he came to LA, that's what people were like to him. Yeah. And then he goes, it goes away when you get older. Like when David became like 35, 40, whatever, because people realize you're sticking around yeah and it's working by the way it's not like yeah you didn't get one it's not like you got letterman and no one saw you do anything ever again yeah it was like it was working so there's only so much you can say

at some point before somebody goes yeah he's good he's doing it i mean yeah the jealousy thing is what's weird about the youth in our profession. You want it so bad and you want it for your friends, but you also kind of are like, fuck that guy. I made a whole movie about it, Don't Think Twice. It's all about a group of best friends in an improv group. It's a great movie.

I wasn't begging for a compliment. It's a great movie. It's something I'm obsessed with. This idea of a group of best friends in an improv group. And who gets SNL? One of them gets SNL. SNL. Right.

What was it called? Weekend Live. Weekend Live. Weekend Live. That's right. Weekend Live. Keegan-Michael Key gets Weekend Live. And the rest of the friends don't.

And it's about what happens in friendships when people realize that life isn't fair. I mean, because it's not. No. And how could you expect it? You weren't all going to get it. No! Yeah. You knew someone would maybe get it,

but all of you know. What's wild is that movie cured me of being jealous. I used to be much more jealous. Yeah. When I was younger, 20s, even in my 30s,

how come that person got that and I didn't get it? At a certain point you go, it's a whole, like, some version of luck and hard work and talent. It's like talent's the cost of admission to even be in the conversation. Sometimes when people are like, but I'm talented, it's like, all right.

Yeah. A lot of those. Yeah. A lot of people are talented, man. But then it's like talent. A lot of people have it. Hard work, it drops off. It gets a little.

Big time drop. Yeah. Big drop, big drop, big drop. Big drop. That hard work hill is real, real big. And then. People don't want to do the burpees. Uh-uh.

Sit-ups. Yeah, man. That's how you get them. No, but then after that it's. And then it's luck, I think. It's luck. Yeah. Then it's... And then it's luck, I think. It's luck. Yeah. Then it's the universe, or whatever you want to call it.

Whatever word you like to insert for the universe. Happenstance. Luck or happenstance or blessing or, you know what I mean? Whatever slides you into that. Hashtag blessed. Hashtag blessed. I go hashtag blessed always. Blessing, blessing, blessing, blessing.

I feel like whatever the universe kind of like is, I think the universe is constantly throwing things up and around. And it's almost like sometimes it hits you again, not to go back to Seinfeld for no reason, but he did. He said that in another interview about, he goes, I'd be,

I'd be, and I'm paraphrasing, but I'd be foolish to think that, uh, I did all of that Seinfeld. He's like, if the casting was perfect, the things they kind of just,

it was on Letterman, or I mean on, sorry, on Stern. He was saying how like, all of these things slotted right. Like to get all these actors to push into the same thing,

he's like, what do you think that, I don't think that was luck. There's a lot of luck going on there. I'll tell you a funny thing that this makes me think of. I also have never told this, but I think,

in the middle of like pandemic, Larry David calls me. Don't know him. How do you just got your number? I love this. I love when this happens. I've never had a guy not have my number call me. I like this. I want this so bad to happen to me.

He calls me. He goes, I've been listening to these albums. These are great great job you know I was like this is a dream wow

like this is literally a dream wow Mike these are great I'm like this is a bit yeah yeah someone is Pete Holmes doing Larry David

right this is bananas and I go literally I go there I go this is like literally my dream come true and then I made the fatal mistake of going, would you ever come on my podcast? I got to go.

Yeah, immediately. He goes, he said the best thing about podcasts. He goes, no, there's no upside. What's the upside? I can only say the wrong thing. People get mad because people already watch my things. He's right. What is the upside for Larry David?

It's such an awkward thing with the podcast because you go like, you know, hundreds of thousands, sometimes millions of people listen to this thing. And you're talking to someone and you're thinking, oh, that would be good, actually, if they came on. But it's like the moment you bring it up, there's just a – they have to ask you. They have to watch. I asked you to come on here. Yeah. That's the way it has to work. I want you to want to do it.

Yes. Because it's hard when you ask people to want to do it. Neil Brennan always says this quote to me all the time. He always says, you can't ask someone to do your dishes. That's what it is. He's like, you're just begging people, will you do the dishes? And it's like, I didn't even make that mess. I don't want to do those fucking things.

So he's like, that is a metaphor for when you're asking people to go out of their way to take time to do a thing that's just for you. He's like, it has to be for both parties. It has to be mutually. Yeah, to want to do a thing. Mutually helpful. And why would Larry want to do anything? Oh my God. What am I, and then what am I even doing asking him that?

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Warning, it contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical, all right? Ginger. I like gingers. We've all done this. I've said on this show, the most embarrassing thing, Jim Carrey was my boss on I'm Dying Up Here, and we had dinner, and it was going wonderful.

It was like that. It was going wonderful. And then I was like, where are you living now? I was like, what? What the fuck am I asking? Where is he living? A, none of my business.

I'm not coming over. And also, what a moot conversation. Who cares? It's almost like, there's so many other things we could talk about. And when I asked him where I'm living,

he's like, I'm all over the place, man. Which is exactly what he would say. Yeah. What do you mean? I'm, I don't know.

I don't know. It's so funny with Jim Carrey because years ago, Judd Apatow invited me to have lunch in Montreal at the festival with Jim Carrey.

Oh, that's cool. A few other people. It was cool. Yeah, it's like one of those people. He's an all-timer. He's a legend. Yeah. And the way he's depicted in media, because he's in kind of a Buddhist headspace.

He is, yeah. Is that he's kind of loopy. Like, they clip out of context him being like, well, we're all just particles or whatever. Who does anything matter? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then it's funny. You talk to him for an hour.

You go like, oh, yeah, this guy's great. Yeah. This guy's fantastic. No, he's wonderful. Yeah. But also that is true to the conversation. He will say things to the effect of like, what does this mean to you type of stuff?

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, it kind of grounds you a little bit in the idea that, yeah, because I think I did, like me, I got lost. More stuff, more drink. What is that, by the way? This is just tea with honey for my boys. Because you're, yeah.

Yeah, because I've had, like, this weird. Don't do it. Don't get into a conspiracy theory. Don't do it. Don't do it. You know he's about to do it. His new special. What would it even be? What's been in my throat?

You gotta see Mike's new show, What's Been in My Throat. Oh my god, Jesus Christ. It was a one year, one year he took to make it and he put it all together. I will say, that is one of the funny things about being a comedian is the absurdity of getting to occasionally meet or cross paths with people who you've watched for years.

Yeah. It's absurd. Yeah. Yeah. You feel like it shouldn't have happened in a weird way. Yeah. Why did I get to do this? Why did we do this?

Yeah. And then that's the luck part of it, I guess. Right. But have you – well, what's weird for me is as a sports fan, I meet athletes and their kids. Oh. And I forget I'm 40. Right.

And I meet someone who to me is like a god of their abilities. And I'm like, this person's so incredibly talented. And they are. But then you meet them and you're like, you're 24. Yeah, you know what's a great documentary for that is Breakpoint. It's a tennis documentary. There's like six or ten episodes on Netflix. Wait, I feel like I saw one of these on the plane.

Oh, it's great. Yeah. It's like they follow Alcaraz, and they follow Anshabur, and like a handful of these top 20 players. And I don't know how the hell they got this kind of access to the tennis players because they're going in their hotel rooms and they're going on their planes and all this kind of stuff. And you just realize, like, these people, they're the best in the world

at a sport that a lot of people play. Yeah. And there's a lot of access to this game right it's everywhere yeah it's like basketball it's like there's a lot of tennis courts a lot of basketball cards and yet their lives are hard hard yeah i mean it is constant drills constant travel constant press yeah and you just go and honestly like you get the sense of like I mean I don't know what the hard numbers are on it you get the sense that if you're not in the top 15 you're struggling financially oh yeah I'm not top 15 in the world at a sport that a lot of people play

if you're 30 in the world and you're not killing it financially. What the hell's wrong? It is true. That's so funny. That's the same thing. I'm a big golf guy. If you're like, you're one of the best 50 in the world,

doesn't mean that you're financially well off. No. And you're in the world, in the globe. You're one of the greatest who gets to be on the tour and you still aren't making enough money unless you get a win. Unless you win, then you get a good check. But otherwise, you're just kind of coasting through.

And also, one of the things is that, like, the American athletes actually do a lot better financially. Yeah, than European. Because the marketplace. actually do a lot better financially than the other than european because the marketplace because because if you're from if you're from sierra leone or wherever what's the market share of those fans yeah that's true whereas if you're tiafo in america and it's like you're like he's number eight or six or whatever it's like people like love, you know, but if you're number eight and, you know, you're from Kenya,

like, how many fans do you really have who are gonna be buying the rackets, the rackets and the shoes that have your name on them? Right.

Well, that's why guys go, that's why in a lot of sports they end up going to, you know, to China or, or, or Eastern Europe

to play ball or something like that because there's a whole other career to be had if you can't have one here. There's something else to be had over there. That's something to be said about the American market too. That's like once Americans are very harsh, when we're done with you, we're done with you.

Same thing in our game. By the way, our entertainment too. I talk about this with Gaffigan. When we're done, they're done with you. I talk about this with Gaffigan. When we're done, they're done with you. I talk about this with Gaffigan. He's like, I've been doing this for 30 years. He's like, I'm so lucky. Yeah.

He's like, this business spits people out. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, people, think about how many people you came up with or I came up with. They're just gone. Where are they? Yeah, so they're ghosts. They're floating through the hallways.

It's terrible. Well, it's like, and my only fear is what I think you've done, and I do want to say this to you, as someone who's really loved what you've done since I've seen you, you've made your own path, which is extremely difficult. And I give you a lot of credit for that.

Thanks, man. You've created your own world. And, you know, like all of us have learned no one's the phone's not ringing, whatever, you know, this. Oh, my gosh. The phone is not. It's not like, Mike, you're going to get it all. And you're like, we're going to get it all.

Like, you have to make it. Otherwise, it doesn't happen. Whether people think that there's something behind it machine-wise, the truth is you did it. Yes, people were there to help make the dream come to reality, but you have to build all of it from zero. Like, you have to do it. And if you stop, they're not gonna, like, you know, be there

to catch you. So, thankfully, I guess my point is this career only continues if you do the burpees. You gotta do the burpees. And you just keep doing the burpees. But you know what was a major thing, a major inflection point, and thanks for the compliment, at the end

you go, but. But. But. But. I would like some more tags on the jokes. Yeah. I feel like they just end. In the last episode there was a bit I did not like.

My mother was hurt by. Yeah, did not enjoy. Did not enjoy. My mother was hurt by... Yeah, did not enjoy. Did not enjoy. No, no. I had a big inflection point where I moved out here for a couple months in 2008,

and it was the dream come true. It was my former dream come true, which is sitcom pilot at CBS. And Bob Odenkirk was my brother. We shot it. Bob Odenkirk played my brother we shot it Bob Odenkirk played my brother Francis Conroy played my mom

Nick Kroll played my cousin the Mike Birbiglia untitled Mike Birbiglia project literally called that before the Mindy project whatever

and it was it was alright yeah you know what I mean yeah it was alright like it was alright

I'm sure it was passable yeah I mean? Yeah, it was alright. Like, it was alright. I'm sure it was passable. Yeah. I mean, it was, to me, and it didn't go to series. And it was the luckiest thing that ever happened in my career other than, like, ten other things along the way.

But, like, in some ways it was the luckiest thing that ever happened to me because if... It was death by a thousand cuts artistically it was like you get the notes and then you make it a little more broad and then you get more notes you make it a little more broad and you're like yeah but once we get it on the air then we can have fun whatever and by the time that we finish it was like it doesn't even have to be

me it could be anybody yeah i hate that you know. And so then I had been working on my solo show, Sleepwalking With Me, for probably three, four years. At this point, I was writing it. And I had been working with this guy, this director, Seth Barish, who's a brilliant theater director. And since then, he and I have done five shows together. And my takeaway from Los Angeles, from Hollywood, seeing a CBS group of executives and producers and crew put something together, it's like, oh, wow, Hollywood is really good at marketing something and putting a shine on it and making it look and feel like a thing.

What Hollywood isn't good at is doing the thing. And I'm good at doing the thing, and I'm not good at marketing the thing. So I went back to New York, and I was like, all right, I'm going to do Sleepwalk with me, but I'm going to do it nice. We'll have a photo shoot. We'll spend a lot of money and thought and time on producing it properly. We'll get proper designers. We'll get great.

I started working with this guy, Beowulf Britt, who designed all five of my shows. Since then, he's won two Tonys. Like, he's just amazing. And, you know, we'll work with designers. We'll work with lighting designers. We'll, like, make this thing really nice. And then, you know, we were lucky because then Nathan Lane really liked the show. And then he put his name on the show. And Nathan Lane presents Mike Birbiglia's Sleepwalk with me.

And then all of a sudden it became like, oh, yeah, I don't need the Hollywood machine. I can just be the thing myself. Yeah. Unfortunately, it's a lot more work, but that's the cost of admission for this path yeah worth it yeah worth it well worth it yeah i think so but that's the burpees that's the thing you're talking that's the burpees yeah the talent was making was having the idea it's hilarious talking about burpees because i can't do burpees neither can i who does i can't does anybody really do that yeah it's insane when i see people online doing stuff like that, I'm always like, oh, shut up. Whenever I see someone doing, like, really grueling exercises online, it really pisses me off because I just don't have the athleticism to do it anymore.

And I'm just like, oh, you're just showing off. There's this Sondheim show in New York that Mulaney and I went to see the other day. And it's a really funny show. But there's a character who does burpees in the show. In the show? And he does them for like five minutes straight.

Wow. Hot guy. And I said to him backstage, the actor afterwards, I go like, you do the burpee, you're really fucking doing them. You know,

if people don't know what this is, it's like a push up and then like a, you hop up. It's a jump hop down push up. Yeah, there you are. And he goes, I made the of do improvising that in rehearsal and they're like let's keep that no idiot

that's an old that is one of those old rules that like uh oh uh robert forrester did the pilot for the show that i did and we were sitting at a table and he kind of came up to me and was like are you guys gonna smoke that joint the whole time oh my god and i was like uh i mean we can we can't you know whatever and he's like well you're gonna be doing that all day yes smart and i was like smart right right and he goes I'm just saying and then he walked away Because we didn't have to be smoking to join someone in the group was like, oh, yeah We should be passing around a joint while we're listening to him do this like really intense speech about how much yeah Just how much disrespect we've shown to his family and I thought man

That's great cuz I didn't want to have to suck on that thing for fucking nine hours. It was a huge scene So thankfully he kind of gave that's a super smart one Yeah He was like don't you don't want to smoke that you're gonna be sitting smoking in this because it was a eating Eating is the same as the any eating scene you got a spit into the thing I always eat the thing when a director goes. I do like to see This director came on our show and she goes. I don't want fake eating I don't want to see fake eating I hate it and she comes up to me and she goes, what's going on here? I go,

I've already finished. And she was like, okay. She goes, alright, gave me credit for it. She's like, alright. I go, I eat fast in real life. These guys are more than halfway done. I've already finished my plate. I was like, I'll just sip out of a cup. Because I couldn't stand, I never liked eating on camera, but I also

hated, and to her credit, she's right, I hated to see people fake eating on TV. Yeah. It bothers me to know it. I get it. I get it. It's so weird looking. You're like, eat it.

Don't, nobody moves it around that much in conversation. I feel that way about sex scenes. Oh, they're always so weird. Always so bad. So bad and weird and uncomfortable. Oh, they're terrible. I don't like, dude, I do not like seeing sex scenes. It's like, it makes me curl up inside. It doesn't look anything like sex. I do not like seeing sex scenes. It's like it makes me curl up

It doesn't look anything like sex No no no It doesn't What's happening? What are you doing? Yeah, it's also so it's like You could but if you showed the the awkwardness of real sex Yes, he would be really it's almost like porn porn is so uh is so choreographed that you're like man if there was a real porn of like awkward couples sex yeah it would be it would be a drama

one time i was in my hotel room in denver colorado and i and i look out my window and across the way, across the street, I see a lit up hotel room with two people having sex like people do in porn. And it was fully lit up. They must have known. They did know. They do it for you. They did it for me. And it was like, and this position.

And this position. And this. And they're both in shape. And it's like, it was this weird thing where I go like Wait, are they mimicking porn or is porn based on them? Maybe I should do that as a bit. That's a great bit. Cause I always think about it. I have this scene of you being like come on and they keep switching Come on! Also at the very end you take one sip of coffee,

and you're like, God damn, this is good coffee. It just wipes away this entire sex scene that you've seen. I've seen this in hotels, people having sex. New York is probably my favorite place to watch people have sex. Every time I'm in New York at a nice hotel, I always see someone having sex. Oh, that's interesting. Always.

I always see someone in one of the windows having sex. And they do this because that voyeuristic thing is awesome. Because they don't have to ever see you. There's no stakes. Yeah. Very low stakes having sex in a city with a lit up window. It's awesome. Yeah.

Have you done it? I don't dare. No, me neither. You didn't? Yeah, yeah. Out of my mind? Yeah. My wife doesn't want to.

Curtains close. Lights off. She doesn't want to see me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. me? Yeah, yeah. Out of my mind? Yeah. My wife doesn't want to, curtains close, lights off. She doesn't want to see me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, no, no. It's all but wearing costumes. We're right there. We might start wearing costumes so we completely disappear. I can't.

If I had someone else seeing me having sex in a public space like that. The other day. End of times. Today, Jen texted me a photo of me on Halloween dressed up as Colonel Mustard Stains, which is Colonel Mustard with actual mustard stains that my wife and daughter rubbed into the thing. And she sent me a photo, and I wrote back, who would marry this person?

I feel like that all the time. Yeah. I'm always just like. What fool? Yeah, you really got stuck with this guy. You got a lemon. You married a lemon. Yeah, you got a lemon.

Yeah, you married a lemon. Yeah, but isn't it relieving to know that you can be Colonel Mustard Stains and she thinks it's fun? Oh, she likes it. Thank God. Think about putting that on a dating app. No, my God. Think about putting that on a dating app. No, my God.

No, I think, you know, I've been tinkering with this at the cellar lately, but it's like I go, if you meet someone in your life who understands you more than anyone in the world and that person is willing to spend any meaningful amount of time with you at all, you are very lucky. And then I go, that being said, and then I go into like a handful of things. Like on a regular basis, Jen will stare at me doing an activity for like five seconds and then go like, what are you doing?

And it'll be about like, there's like 10 different things. Like what are you doing is a big part of our lives. What are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing? Yeah, I do that to myself a lot. I go, what am I, what am I doing? If I feel to myself a lot i go what am i what am i doing if i feel like i'm wasting time doing anything i'm always like what the fuck am i

doing we do a thing now where i don't know if you tell me if you do this where i don't mean to raise my voice but i'll say it out of frustration with a little bit of yeah and she'll be like what was that and then i immediately have to be like nothing i, I don't, I'm just saying. Right. And I have to go back to the voice pitch. Business voice, business voice. No, I'm just saying. No, I was saying that. Yeah, yeah. No, no, I was not.

I think actually, absolutely we should go. Yeah. No, we should, no, we should be late. We should go at 9.30, even though the invitation said 7. I think 9.30 is a good time to show up. I was agreeing. Yeah, we should get,

we should prepare for the party for about five, six hours. I think that's a good idea. Business voice. Business voice. Yeah, yeah. Business voice. Hey, this is Mike Birbiglia. I'm in room 317, and I was just thinking.

Maybe if there could be ice. Like, the ice maker, does it make ice? Also, I need medical. If you could send someone immediately i do need medical the uh yeah god darn gosh darn it uh no okay i thought you were going i thought no i had i had something in the way i have to ask you real fast the bracelets is this from your kid yeah this is una made this it's this this is your version of uh letting letting a lot of dads now let their daughters paint their nails have you seen this i've done that yeah this is this is Una made this. This is your version of letting a lot of dads now let their daughters paint their nails. Have you seen this?

I've done that. Yeah, this is a hotbed now. But your daughter made these for you. This one says silly, and this other one says Una Dad, which is based on a poem that my wife Jenny wrote. My wife's a poet, and she writes under J. Hope Stein, and she wrote a poem called Una Dad that's really beautiful. And she made that for you and your daughter?

Yeah, Una made this. And then she's silly. She goes, Dad, it's to remind you to be silly. Oh, that's fucking funny. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to get you emotional. You're going to see her soon. It's okay.

I know. I know. You're going to see them soon. When you're on the flight back, the excitement to see your loved ones. Yeah. It only really hits when you start on the flight back the excitement to see your loved ones it only really hits when you start your descent you know what I mean like the whole flight is kind of like trudging through this like come on let's get to the fucking place

I'm exhausted I don't know how to do this and then as soon as they're like and we're starting our descent that's when like my endorphins kick in I'm like oh finally I get to go home home because as much as we travel I kind of lose track of all the you know I feel a little spacey endorphins kicking over like oh finally i get to go home home yes because as much as we travel i kind of lose track of all the you know i feel a little spacey especially lately we've been on such a big tour like you feel that when you kind of lose sense it's funny like i said to

gnome who owns the comedy cellar recently i go there's if you're lucky I feel like there's a place where you roughly feel at home, which means you feel warm there. You feel like you're among people who you love and love you. And for me, it's literally my apartment in New York with my wife and daughter, and it's the Comedy Cellar. Those are the right two places. I mean, one of them is a bar. Yeah, true. Formerly a bar. Formerly a bar. yeah true formerly a bar formerly a bar yeah it is but

no it's true do you what are your do you have two homes or one home or two homes or like what's your home well it's funny yeah you say that and i hate to say this but the store was my home club is my home club yeah and it used to feel that way the most and it's gotten it's changed a lot because the city changed a lot pandemic changed the city a lot a lot of people moved and left yeah it shifted so heavily that it doesn't feel the way it used to and now it's mothership now it's the mother yeah no no it just feels like uh the store uh even without people leaving the pandemic shifted the culture and it we had had kind of a big upending here. And a lot of young people came in, which is great.

True, New York too. A lot of young people. It just feels a little bit different. But home, home truly for me, yeah, at my physical house, I would say, and then the moment I go back to Chicago. You do feel like that in Chicago. God, yeah. I love Chicago.

That's nice. I love it so much. I just wish I could be there, but I can't. Is that where you started doing comedy in Chicago? No. Okay. I started here. I really started here, truthfully, you know?

Yeah. But Chicago just home to me, man. I don't know. It is literally home, but also I really adore that city. I love it there. I just like the people. Yeah. The guts of it all is great.

Everyone is a hustler. I love that. Yeah. Everyone's a hustler. Oh, it's an incredible city. It's something. Where New York is like so many people with so much going on that you can't really define New York. It is a breathing, living thing.

Yeah. Chicago is pretty definable. Like, you go to Chicago, you know a Chicago person when you see one. Oh, that's interesting. You're like, that guy's from Chicago. Well, and even you're from Naperville. Yeah.

Which is, in Don't Think Twice, it's name-checked because... Oh, it is. My character, which is named Miles, which is loosely based on my friend Chris Fosdick, who lives in Naperville with his wife and family. Oh, that's wild. That's how you got it.

Well, he was, yeah. At the end of the movie, he goes back to Naperville. Oh, wow. Which is like, you know, where his girlfriend who's having a baby is living. Living the suburb life. Yeah.

Naperville. And that's literally for my friend chris foswick who's excuse me who was from um who cast me in my college improv troupe which changed my life right and uh forever i mean truly forever changed because those before that i was like i don't really feel like i connect with anybody. And then I met these 10 people. And that was it. And I was like, oh, this is great. I just got to meet people like this.

Yeah. Like comedians are the best. And I had never met one. Right, exactly. It's a mixed bag also. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, that's what I found out later. But then Chris was – and then we moved to – we all kind of moved to New York,

including like Nick Kroll was in that group. And, like, it was, like, a really good group. We were called Little Man. We used to perform at UCB Theater. And at a certain point, the people started to sort of break off and do different things. Right. And then Chris moved back to Naperville with his wife, and he got married. Did you ask him about that before you put in the film? No, but he and I have like, we're so close.

Like I feel like we have a shorthand about, like he knows how I feel about the whole thing. You know what I mean? Like I said to him, I go like, because he was, I mean Nick Kroll might dispute this, but I think he was the best improviser in the group. I don't listen to a word Nick Kroll says, by the way. I'm going to fucking take Nick Kroll.

Well, Nick was always amazing. Nick auditioned for our Georgetown Improv Group, and I had to convince the other people, the producers. I was the director. I had to be like, we have to cast this guy. And they were like, yeah, but this and this, and we like this other person. Was it because he was young or something?

No, it was like he was just kind of like nick is which is like kind of nuts yeah and like yeah and i was like and like maybe not as refined like he hadn't done a lot of like he hadn't been an actor he hadn't done a lot of he hadn't put in the hours and so it was like this kind of like rougher version of Nick Kroll but he was so funny in his bones and I just said to the rest of the group I go like no no no this guy's funny in his bones. Right.

This is one of the funniest people I've ever seen. I don't even know him. Right. And then he became what he became. But like Chris Fosdick even know him right and and then uh and then he became what he became but like but uh but yeah chris fosdick was i i think we all kind of thought he was the best improviser in the group and then and then he went until they were naperville and i said to him i go like i one night after one of

our shows at ucb i said to him at the bar i go like you shouldn't leave we're all gonna make it we're all gonna have careers and he goes yeah but i look around this bar at the bar, I go like, you shouldn't leave. We're all going to make it. We're all going to have careers. And he goes, yeah, but I look around this bar at the people who have careers and I just don't want it. I like this guy. He's the best. He's like literally the best. What does he do now?

Do you know? He works in consulting. He's doing great. He's like a partner at some firm. I won't even say that name. No, no, no. But smart guy. Oh, yeah. You know, he's doing great. He's like a partner at some firm. I won't even say that name. No, no, no, but smart guy. Oh, yeah, you know, he's the salt of the earth. I look around.

I don't want to be any of these assholes. I don't want to be any of these people. I don't want to be these miserable assholes. And he'll love this, by the way. Yeah. Like he'll send this around. But I get it. The western suburbs of Chicago is kind of this weird metaphor for like –

it's like a weird safety net and it's also a nice – people go there when all the people start to have kids, they move there. Like when me and my mom lived in the city when I was a kid and then when she had my sister, we left the city because she wanted to raise my sister not in the city because I was a fucking lunatic. Yeah. Because I came from a broken marriage and then a kid growing up in the city because she wanted to raise my sister not in the city because I was a fucking lunatic. Yeah. You know, because I came from a broken marriage and then a kid growing up in the city and my mom was like, I'm not doing this twice.

Oh, wow. So when we went to the western suburbs, it was kind of like. You mean that your parents had broken up? My parents got divorced when I was one. When you were one, okay. So my mom raised me. Then she met my stepdad who became my father who raised me. And when they got pregnant, my mom was like,

we gotta get, we can't raise another one in the city. That was always the joke. I was like, you really loved her. Because me, they were fine being like, take a walk, go to the fucking White Hen by yourself. Right.

It was like, there was... What do you mean you really loved her? No, that was like, you must really love the one that you didn't want to raise downtown. For me, it was like, they let me wander. I mean, I could do,

I felt free to kind of like... Interesting like interesting you know the city was kind of this like fun little playground of chaos yeah i could get into uh but i think they wanted to protect her and the western suburbs was like a nice was night it's like we got to get away from the city yeah so that's why i say you really loved her for me it was like oh we fucked this one up we shouldn't fix this one we should make this one the you're the her. For me, it was like, oh, we fucked this one up. We shouldn't fix this one. We should make this one the right one. You're the first batch of pancakes. Yeah, they're not that good. One side is burnt.

And then your sister is the second batch of pancakes. Right, they're so fluffy. Yeah, nice. But they can't drive on the highway. That's the exchange. Keep those pancakes away from the highway. That's right, keep those fluffy pancakes away from the highway and very scary movies.

She's going to hate that I said that. I can drive on the fucking highway. That was always the biggest joke was she was scared of chaos. But I liked it because, like, the first time I went to New York, I remember being like, this is Chicago on steroids. This is what I, by the way, this is what I disagree with about Seinfeld, you know, in interviews. Well, let's get started about stuff like this.

I disagree with so much about Seinfeld. Let me tell you something fucking Jerry. No, go ahead. In interviews, people will often ask him, like, are comedians broken or the heritage? He goes, no. He goes, any profession. You go in and, you know, there's people.

Everyone's broken in some way. And I think that comedians are particularly broken. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I mean, the fact that you're, like, divorced from number one, and then we move on this, and, you know. Yeah, we're broken. Yeah. There's a reason you're a comedian.

100%. Yeah. That life had to make you funny to deal with. Yeah, to cope. It's a coping mechanism. Weird shit. I always say, with Old Man and the Pool,

it's like, I always say that, like, I talk about death for basically 90 minutes because that was my goal. My goal was I'm anxious about death. I'm sad when I think about losing people close to me. Yeah. How can I make this funny? Because everybody's experiencing this to some degree. How can I make this funny for them?

How can I use my coping mechanism And give it to them? Maybe it's helpful for them How old were you again when your old man passed? No, no, my dad's still alive He's 83 My folks are 83 But he's had a handful of heart attacks It's been like touching It keeps going

You haven't had one Knock on that This part's wood That's wood too He was 56. Yeah, yeah. You haven't had one. No. Knock on that, knock on that, knock on that, knock on that. This part's wood. There you go. That's wood, too. No. But I've just had so many health scares.

Like, I had jumped through a second-story window sleepwalking and, you know, whatever. That one's worth it, though. It made a great show. If it makes a good show, it makes a good show. That one was worth it, though. You know, I'm going back to Walla Walla. Really? To where I jumped through the window. The La Quinta Inn is where I jumped through.

Why? Why are you going back? If people don't know, there's a movie and a show called Sleepwalking that's based on. I thought it would be funny if I went back 20 years later. I don't know, Mike. I don't know, Mike. I don't know if this is a good idea, man. I'm not going to stay at La Quinta Inn.

No, let's not stay there. There's a plaque on the wall there. There's a plaque on the wall that says 20 years ago, you know, Mike Birbiglia, comedian Mike Birbiglia jumped through. And some of my fans, like, will go as, like, a pilgrimage. Like, they think it's funny, which I do. It's like Lettuce Grave. This is like your, yeah, they put flowers by that La Quinta Inn. But, yeah, no, there's a gorgeous little like 400-seater there,

400-seat theater, and so I'm doing that in Seattle, Portland, and like Vancouver. Like I'm just doing a Pacific Northwest run. I love the Pacific Northwest. It's gorgeous.

So nice. It's gorgeous, and like, and I'm doing that in January, which is a beautiful time of year for that part of the country. Yeah. But,

Hey man, it's not Minneapolis, you know what I mean? Oh my gosh, I've done i've ice cold in the winter i make those how about minneapolis when you tour there in the winter and there's fucking tubing in between the buildings yeah because you physically can't walk outside no man yeah i mean what is happening in that city he knows oh that's where you're from they're all kind of crazy in a great way they're're great Midwest crazy.

They're funny people. I mean, Mitch Hedberg, Maria Bamford, Bob Dylan. It's endless, the amount of talent. Yeah, great musicians and comics out of there. Yeah, Prince.

I mean, it's like the amount of talent. And it's not a coincidence. No. It's not a coincidence that Massachusetts has a lot of comedians. Chicago has a lot of comedians. Chicago has a lot of comedians.

Minneapolis has a lot of comedians. I don't know. I don't want to be offensive to people who live. I just don't see a lot of comedians coming out of Hawaii. It's not. The comedy scene's not popping off in Hawaii. You don't see that often, dude. Aruba is not yielding enough comedians. Not a lot of comics out of the Caribbean, huh?

No. No, it's not happening, is it? If it's really nice, what's to get down about? What's the bummer? What's the bummer, man? And where's the coping? The coping isn't there. You don't get that coping skill.

Not a lot of comics out of Hawaii. It's true, right? It's so true. It's bananas. Do you have any want to make this special a film? I've outlined it as a film because the producer, one of the producers of Don't Think Twice was like, this should be a film. And I was like, I know what you mean because I structure my shows like film stories.

They're plays, you know. But it's this tricky thing where I did Sleepwalk With Me as a solo show and then I did it as a movie. And there was some part of me when I was making the movie where I'm like, I've told this story for years and then I'm, I'm doing it again. And so there is some degree of like, you, you want to move on to the next thing. And I'm writing another movie that's completely separate. And I'm writing the tour, what I'm touring now, you know, uh, like I said, to Walla Walla in Seattle, all these places,

Boston, uh, it was just called please stop the ride, which I'm super psyched about, which is all about like, please stop the rides in reference Stop the Ride, which I'm super psyched about, which is all about, like, Please Stop the Ride is in reference to, like, going to a carnival when I was a kid and when I was in seventh grade and, like, being with a girl I have a crush on and knowing I'm going to throw up on the ride, on a scrambler, and just being like, I got to tell the guy to stop the ride. The scrambler's going to do it. I got to tell the guy to stop the ride. And then I was like, please stop the ride!

And then you're back, and then you're scrambling, scrambling, scrambling, please stop the ride! And then you're to stop the ride and then I was like please stop the ride and then you're back and then you're scrambling scrambling scrambling please stop the ride and then you're scrambling scrambling and it's like really about like the show is

it's not done yet and it's the early stages but it's like it's that thing of like of you at a certain point you realize like oh yeah

we're all on the ride and it's not gonna stop no and and you have to just figure out how to enjoy the ride that's right or what does your wife say watch your own stuff It's not going to stop. No. And you have to just figure out how to enjoy the ride.

That's right. Or what does your wife say? Watch your own stuff. Oh, watch your own show. Watch your own show. I think she said it in an even wittier way. She goes like, I have a show to recommend to you. Yeah, you know what you should really – you know what me and my friends really enjoy?

Well, please go watch your own show. Please go watch Mike's special. It's out right now. And it's going to be another banger. Yeah. You're wrapping up? Okay. I want to kick you out of here.

You know why? Because you've got to catch a flight. I've got to catch a flight. I don't want to make you more late. Good catch. And I want to get you to New York to be on Working It Out. I'll be there in one month.

I'm going to come poke around. Because we literally, like, Pete Holmes has been on. He's coming on for the third time this month. That's too many, to be honest with you. Yeah. Let's get Pete on there a little bit less. But, like, we actually work out jokes. Like, there's jokes in his special, which I love, um, where I tagged his joke.

You know know he tagged jokes that are in the old man in the pool like we literally the things that we do at the store in the cellar where we're like hey have you ever thought about this? Yeah. We do it on the podcast it's super fun. But it's only fun to hear from someone you really like. It's true. You know when somebody comes up to you they go Mike Mike

and then you're like fuck this guy I hate this fucking guy. And you have to be nice yes thank you they pitch you like the version of it that's much worse way worse or you're like yeah dude do you like that you like the pitch you did are you just doing that because you wanted to talk we could just talk we could just chat you don't have to just give me a bad tag. No, no, no. Just say hey.

No, I totally agree. I don't like that. It's got to be a buddy. It's got to be a buddy. I would never give someone a tag unless we have a pre-established relationship of this is kind of a thing. Thank you for all the coffees. Yeah, please. Thank you for all the coffees.

Please. It's our pleasure. Andrew, thanks for having me on. Thank you for being here. This is super fun. Please go watch the special now on Netflix. Please cut out all the things of me with my big, crazy thermos. Zoom in on him drinking the thermos right now. Thank you.

It's tea. Yeah. Just so people know, it's tea, and this is a normal thing to do. Sure it is. To drink tea from a thermos. We end the show the same way, Mike. You look in that camera right there. Sure it is. To drink tea from a thermos. We end the show the same way, Mike. You look in that camera right there.

You're single. Yeah. And you say one word or one phrase to end the episode. I like it as a little button for you to, you know, have your last word

or words. New friendship. In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk.

You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I like gingers.