Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Ralph Barbosa

Episode Date: June 14, 2024

Ralph Barbosa is a rising star in the world of comedy, known for his sharp wit and relatable humor. Originally from Texas, Ralph brings a unique perspective to the stage, blending his Mexican-American heritage with modern-day observations to deliver laugh-out-loud performances. Winner of HBO's "Entre Nos" comedy competition, he captivates audiences with his storytelling prowess and charismatic stage presence, making him a standout voice in comedy. #ralphbarbosa #andrewsantino #whiskeyginger #podcast ================================================= Sponsor Whiskey Ginger: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/whiskeyginger SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS DOORDASH PROMO CODE: WHISKEY25 For 25% OFF YOUR ORDER DOWNLOAD THE APP! MANDO $5 OFF YOUR ORDER https://shopmando.com USE PROMO CODE: WHISKEY RABBITHOLE $5 OFF YOUR ORDER https://rabbitholedistillery.com/buynow USE PROMO CODE: RABBIT VIATOR PROMO CODE: VIATOR10 DOWNLOAD THE APP! https://viator.com ======================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I like gingers. Oh, what's the new you now? I see you got your cars on the internet now. Yeah. How many cars you got? I don't know. You're a whip god now? Who are you turning into? Tom Segura? Does he have a lot of cars? I'll bet you.

This guy's a big time into cars. Nah, but... He just got a 911 Dakar. I just posted about it yesterday. Okay, you see, one day I'd like to get something like that. But no, I just have like a single cab 95 chevy i saw that chevy looked real nice i had a chevy i got i also have an f-150 but i don't want people to think i'm like a ford guy i just really like the 95 96 f-150s the single cabs yeah like also that was like the what was the late 90s was the lightning years when they did the svTs, right? Those were beautiful.

I love those cars. I'd be cool to get a lightning. Yeah, I love those. One of the first guys that taught, one of the first buddies of mine, his dad taught us how to drive stick. And he was a big, big, big car guy. And he bought his son. He had a 98 Cobra, SVT Mustang Cobra, and a 97 or 96 Lightning, Ford Lightning. And he taught us how to drive on a 79 Stingray, Corvette Stingray.

Damn. It was the hardest thing I ever had. I was 15 years old. We were in a church parking lot. And, you know, I was so skinny. But the clutch was old school. Not like today, bro. It was like a hard-ass clutch?

Bro, you have to slam your foot, and then when you let it go, you feel your leg shaking because it's so stiff. Today, they're all butter. I mean, it's soft. The clutches now are so simple. I've never driven a race car, but you know that dude Noel Miller? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He races sometimes, and he was going to take me to the track,

and he was telling me that I should start off with karts because a lot of people fuck up yeah initially with brake pressure when they race yeah because the fucking race cars have like a hard ass super hard brakes yeah so you can't just like toy with it it's not like if you get in a regular car today you get in like a civic and you touch the brakes and no yeah those things. Yeah. Those things you have to like push. The weight of you has to adjust to how hard the pads are pressing. But that's, I mean, I would say drive something before you get on those. Every dude I know that wants to go to one of those tracks thinks they got like, they're like, I could do that shit.

And you're like, okay, we'll see. Just wait till you crash. I'm that guy. Sometimes I have dreams that I'm at, what is it called? Le Mans? Yeah. Le Mans. Le Mans, yeah.

Because I was watching this movie one time um i think it's called limon's sure it's with that dude uh what's his name steve mcqueen there it is yeah yeah and i fell asleep watching it and i guess because i'm hearing it and i was watching i had a dream that i was there right and that it was like raining and it was already nighttime and it was my turn to drive next. But that the seat, I couldn't adjust it because, you know, everybody is there. They're like they're like specifically made for that driver. But they didn't have one for me because I was like a new driver. So I was like, oh, it's OK. I'll figure it out.

And I try to look for the bar to slide it in a race car. I also didn't have my glasses because I need glasses to see at night. Right. And I was just like, I'm not going gonna tell them because they're not gonna let me drive and i was just like driving like a ford gt just like but i was i kept you know how dreams are where you can't punch or you can't run fast yeah yeah i kept like getting further from the pedal i couldn't hit the gas all the way down so i was just really letting my race team down that is it that's your I can't punch you can't touch the pedals of a car that's such punishment people are like go

go go I can't bro I can't but my newest car and this is the car that's gonna make me get rid of most of the cars I have I have a few super sport Monte Carlos which are cool but I'm gonna get rid of most of the cars I have. I have a few super sport Monte Carlos, which are cool,

but I'm going to get rid of most of them. You keep them all in a garage? Mm-hmm. You do? On your property or somewhere outside? My property. Oh, you do? Well, they don't all fit on my property,

so some are at other people's properties. This guy, man. Car God. I'm telling you. How many do you have now? Five? Is this four or five cars? No, I have like 10 maybe total. Jesus Christ i just bought a nissan skyline which was like you know the dream car

since i was like nine my buddy his uncle used to be like a street racer yeah and his whole crew were like all nissan so i got really into the nissans really early on and one of them i think had a skyline but i never got to see it in person. What year is it? I want to look up your year because I... Did you post that or no? No. What year is it? I haven't even gotten to drive it. It got there.

I left a week ago from home and it got there the day after I left. What year is the skyline? Do you know? 1993 Nissan Skyline GTR R32. Damn. That's a filthy little car, bro. It's a gunmetal gray

What year were you born? See this is funny That you have such a nostalgia For these older cars I was born 96 Do you know what I mean? I guess so Like how did you get

Why do you have such nostalgia For cars that Are pre your time I mean I'm not I think because In my mind They're like They're cool to me

But also I know they're gonna have Issues here and there And I'd like to learn how to work on them. You want to fix them? Yeah. You have time to fix them? Sometimes.

You're a busy dude. I'm learning right now, but I started with less pressure type cars. The first car that I started really working on is a 2003 Nissan Altima that I bought off my grandma. It wasn't running or driving, and if we could get it to drive, it would shake a lot. What'd she charge you for the car? $1,500. Cash. Cash money, grandma.

I overpaid for that. Yeah. My grandma did not give a fuck. Pay up, bitch. Yeah. Yeah, but that teaches you something, right? When you buy your first car. It actually teaches you something about the exchange.

This was like two months ago. Oh, what? Yeah. Oh, this wasn't the first car. It actually teaches you something about the exchange. This was like two months ago. Oh, what? Yeah. Oh, this wasn't the first car that you bought. No, this is just a car that I bought to like work on.

Right. Because I wanted to you know, work on it. I don't know. You wanted to learn about cars? Yeah. I know how to do body work.

I used to paint, but I didn't know shit about like mechanical side of it. That's tough too. It takes, I mean, you spend hours and hours. My neighbor builds cars. He builds kit cars. You know, these guys that get kit cars no shit about like mechanical side of it so that's where it gets that's tough too it takes i mean you spend hours and hours and hours my neighbor builds cars he builds kit cars you know these guys that

get kit cars and they build them from scratch when i was a kid one of my best friends tyler his father used to build mgs you know mgs do you know that car yeah he used to build mgs in his garage and it would take him forever man i used to watch him do that and i was like man he taught us simple shit oil change you know easy bullshit filters all that stuff was like simple to learn then he would start to get into the depth of it of like physically building and constructing an engine block and i was like i don't even that's that's why i'm getting rid of most of the cars i have because i just went trigger happy had a little money saved up and i started just buying on like facebook marketplace and stuff but now i'm like bro if i'm

really gonna like work on a car it's gonna take so much time yeah what am i gonna do like work on one car for two hours and then the other one and then get back to it next month like you could be the new jay leno bro nah barbosa's garage no don't please don't go there setting you up bro setting you up, bro. Setting you up. You're a Texas-born kid. The thing, when we met, what was wild was you didn't do the thing that a lot of people do where you do your thing in your town or your area and then you move. And you sucker into L.A. or New York.

And you stayed in Texas. And you're always going to be in Texas. What's nuts is people are moving to Texas now, which I think is hilarious. Now they're all coming down, all these California dudes. But you're in Dallas or where are you at? Yeah, I'm like an hour south of Dallas. Okay. Just like in the country.

Do you like exotic sports cars in the new world or no, you only like old school shit? Nah, I love all cars. Well, because my buddy has a shop out there. When I come to Dallas, if you're around, you should come with me. I would love to wreck whatever he lets me drive. He'll let you drive. We'll have some fun. I mean, the last time I was down there, he put me in an Aventador.

He has a lot of Lambos, Ferraris, all that stuff, and he lets me just toy him around for a while. That'd be badass. Let's go. I'll take you down there. I'm more than happy to. He put me in a GT3 RS with houndstooth hand-stitched interior. This Porsche GT2 or 3 RS.

It was unbelievably beautiful, man. It was green and dual-stitching. He said to me, he gave me the keys and he was like, have some fun. I would just rub the seats. Oh, bro. It feels so nice. Those custom seats are unbelievable. I was ripping it around and I was like, man, this is dope. And I know I've driven more expensive cars, but because of how rare it was.

You ever seen that movie, what's that movie, Ghost, with Patrick Swayze? Oh, yeah, Ghost, yeah. And the girl is making the pottery. Yeah, they're making the pot together. And then his ghost is making it. I feel like if I rub the seats, like the ghost of the guy who hand-stitched them will be like around me. And we'll both be like this. You're sitting on his lap while you're driving?

Yeah. He pushes your little butt forward so you can reach the pedals? Yeah. I'll take you out there for real, though. I'd love to take you out there. We met on Bert's Fully Loaded Tour together, which was a fun little stint. You know, short but fun. I did four. Four or five. What did you do? How many did you do? Did you do a fun little stint. Short but fun.

I did four. Four or five. What did you do? How many did you do? Did you do a lot? I did like eight or nine. Yeah. You liked it?

Would you do it again or no? You're too busy now. Nah. I was going to do it again. But I wouldn't say that I'm too busy. I just think that, not to sound like a huge pussy or anything, but I think I... The lifestyle was tough? Nah, I wouldn't say it's tough.

I mean, I think right now the lifestyle is just kind of wearing on me of touring in general. Oh, yeah, bro. We're all like this. Yeah. How old are you now? You're 20? 27. Yeah, bro.

Wait till you hit 40. It's fucking disgusting. That sounds horrible. Yeah, look at me now. I remember that was one of the first things I thought when I met you was like, oh, man, this guy looks so tired. Yeah. It's like, what am I doing out here? I know.

I look more Mexican than you. Yeah. I look sleepy, bro. They used to call me Sleepy Red. You look like a real Irish immigrant. Like the boat ride over here took forever for you. It does take a long time. I think it was 38 days.

Most of your friends died from plague. Six of them. O'Malley, Callahan, all those guys. Two guys jumped, unfortunately. We lost two boys overboard. No, but I am looking for just a little break. I mean, you do sound

like a pussy when you say that shit because you're in the throes of everything now. You're in the middle of the golden growth era for you. This is the best time for you damn you're sub 30 you're single you have no kids what are you talking about i have a five-year-old son get rid of him go get rid of him dude go back on the road get rid of him i can't you have a five-year-old kid yeah i'm gonna have to put a workload on him and just start bringing him and have him write jokes i don't know i don't want to abandon him but i don't want to abandon comedy either so he's gonna have to like adapt he's to have to figure it out.

Yeah. So wait, he's five and this is your only kid? You got more than one? I got one. Would you make another one or no? Yeah. Yeah, you're ready for it. Yeah. But you're not ready to settle down. You're not going to get married and do all that stuff. No. I think if any woman is down to have my kid, she has to know I'm not going to commit. Right on.

But I'm down to have a kid if you want a kid. Let's do it. Yeah. Give this kid kid another kid baby when you had your first kid uh big surprise for you guys or you were like cool with it and it was like a you were you were with her and you wanted to kind of have a kid no no we weren't together anymore we were like really immature i was like 21 right when she got pregnant and um but i think we got mature fast i think a lot of my friends who have kids not not i mean i have some good dad friends um but i also have a lot of fuck up dad friends if you're watching this you're the good one don't worry but um i think my son's mom and myself it it started off like rough, like real rough. You know, 21.

Right. Young, dumb, full of cum. But I think we got it together quick. We knew each other for a long time. So we just, we were able to communicate well and realize like, yo, we pretty much want the same thing for our kid here. So, yeah. So you worked it out. You have to grow up fast with that kind of stuff.

I think that's what's wild about it. Also, like you have a sense of maturity to you that is beyond your years. I think a kid contributed to that. Yeah, I remember when we were on Bert's tour, you kept asking me for advice. Yeah, I kept saying, how do I do it, man? How do I get to be you? Yeah. That's what I wanted to be.

I don't know, man. You are what you is. Thank you, bro. What it is is what it is. You know? The day you understand that is the day you understand the street. I'm going to be. I don't know, man. You are what you is. Thank you, bro. What it is is what it is. You know? The day you understand that is the day you understand the streets. I'm going to be you when I grow up. One day when I grow up, I'm going to be you.

Yeah. I'm going to have 10 cars and leave them on other people's lawns. I would love to be as tall as you. That's got to be like kick ass. Yeah. Yeah. You know, women just like don't even care if you have a personality at your height. Just the height does everything.

And then if you're tall and you have a personality, it's over. You lay kids all over this country if you wanted to. I don't want anything to do with any of that. Oh, you should do it. Trust me. The height is nice

because you just physically look down on people and you get to judge them based on their height. I see your level of power and ability based on your height when I look at people.

I definitely feel like, I don't know if you realize it or not, but your definitely goes to your head but sometimes you are mean yeah yeah one time you you're just looking we're on it was like the last night of bird's tour and you're just kind of like quiet and i was like hey what's up with you man you're all right you were like i feel like throwing you over that fucking fence. Man. Like, all right. That sounds like the wild shit I'd say. I was like, he's such a fucking tall person. Fuck that guy.

It sucks because you know it was like, I don't know. I did feel like throwing you over the fence for some reason. You know what it was? Man, that bus with all those people. You get burnt out. I was like, I want to kill everybody on this fucking thing. I wanted to get off

of that tour so bad. But I told you. I wanted to hug you hard while I threw you over there. You know what it was? I probably wanted to tumble with you. I wanted to grab you

and roll down the hill with you. Like an old western. You could have thrown me. I would have never hit the ground. I would have just levitated. That's exactly what you said. You said I was going to float. Because my heart is so pure.

Yeah. I would have floated and then I would have flown into the sky and's exactly what you said. You said I was going to float. Because my heart is so pure. Yeah. I would have floated, and then I would have flown into the sky, and then the little thing, like on Pokemon. Off into space? Yeah. But I was never mean to you, except if it was comedy love. It was never like a... It was definitely like comedy love, for sure.

There was no... There was actually nobody on that tour that I was bummed to be around. Luckily, because that's a nightmare, man. A lot of times, you're on these big things with people, and you bummed to be around like luckily because that's a nightmare man a lot of times you're on these big things with people and you got to be laced up with people and you're like i don't really want to i i don't really fuck with this group of people or whatever but that was one where i was actually really happy everybody on it was good and cool and the funniest dude i think was or the quietest dude was that daniel simonson oh yeah that dude is the funniest you know this i just ran into him again.

Bro, he's so funny, and he's just so quiet, and I'd be like, do you want to come have a drink? And he's like, I don't really drink, so I'm going to just hang back and watch you do your thing. And I was like, all right, cool, man. It was hard to invite him out, because I could tell he did not want to, he didn't want to hang.

He's not a guy that wants to kick it. Uh-huh. Yeah. I ran into him out of New York. He was talking to a group of people. I was kind of eavesdropping. I like listening to that dude talk. It's so fun, man.

So quiet. Every time he talks, I'm like, this must be important. He just never talks, you know? He does keep himself on this, I'm going to speak when I feel like it's appropriate. Otherwise, I'm not going to. He's not just going to fill space, which is funny because I said, when you're coming up with with shit are you the kind of guy that writes a lot of stuff down or are you somebody that like you know thinks on it thinks on it then starts to write it and he was like uh however it happens to me it will happen of course bro yeah of course

it is the motherfucker has the answers to the universe he does bro he's yeah it's like when you look at a dog and you go, right. It knows. It knows. When you start doing your shit for your new hour, because you have one out right now. Yeah. And you're touring a new hour, right? Yeah.

You are. Are you throwing shit against the wall when you're out on tour? Or do you work out in Dallas or in Texas and then go? No, I don't give a fuck how much money you pay to come to my show. If I feel like doing 45 minutes of random topics and attempts at new material, that's all I will do. Good. That's good. I mean, that's a good attitude to have. No, no. I want to give people a good show. I mean, they, I... No, but you're still going to try shit, huh? Yeah, definitely. I think, and I think that's fun for a lot of, like, I think if they're like a really big fan of you, they're down to see it. Yeah.

Or if they're comedy fans in general. There might be some people who are, you know, like your average fan or whatever. Comedy goer to somebody that goes to shows. Yeah. Just got invited. Might be like, what the fuck was that joke? Or like, what the fuck are you talking about? But I do want to give people a good show.

Something I try to keep in mind is like A lot of my crowd are like very Middle class Maybe some lower middle class Sure So they bought tickets to my show It took them a few hours worth of work Yeah So I'm like bro I want you to leave

Thinking like oh that show was fucking fun But that's why I bring funny people on the road And that's their job Who are you touring with now? Uh right now I got So you met my buddy Hyman Hi yeah So he was uh That's like my long time childhood

best friend he was a photographer it was still is a photographer videographer but he's like a huge comedy nerd like he got me to be a fan of comedy as kids and i always would push him to do stand-up and he was like nah nah nah and so one day like six months ago, we're in Chicago or something. And I was just like, yo, I told the sound guys you're going to kick the show off. And we'll just, I don't know what you call it out here. We'll call it piggybacking. Like there's no host. Tag team.

Tag team. Just go up there, do five minutes, and then bring up the next guy. And he was like, for real? I was like, yeah, yeah. And we had already kind of workshopped jokes with him. Yeah. But you gave him shit? No, no, no.

If you just hear him talk he has material waiting to be constructed right he's like legos that just spill out waiting to be someone's got to build it yeah and so we kind of just would talk about it with him and he did good for like his first time i was it was pretty badass and so i just been going at it so he'll come on the road he'll take pictures he'll also handle shit that I don't want to handle like a tour manager basically like kicking out ugly hoes

from the green room hell yeah get these hoes out get these hoes out be gone hoes yeah he's just overall so just him

or you take out like multiple people no no no I also take out my buddy Luis Juarez and Jesus Castillo which were two comics out of Dallas

I feel like I know Castillo or which were two comics out of Dallas. I feel like I know Castillo or I've met him before, maybe. He sounds familiar. Maybe. But they're cool. They're funny dudes. Still in Dallas, both these guys? Yes, sir.

Yeah. When I started, they would kind of take me out to like bar gigs and kind of show me the ropes. And then, you know, I went out and I ventured and I did my own thing and I pulled the sword out of the stone and I went back for them. I was like, they were already kind of like, I want to say they were retiring from comedy. They were slowing down. They were slowing down, and I was like, no, no, no, no, no. Get your old asses over here.

What was the thing you cracked that was the change for you? What was the thing that flipped for you that made you know that you were going to, you know, that you were growing bigger than most of your friendship circle, that you were like, I got to go back and try to raise up the people that I started with. What was the thing that I cracked?

Yeah, what was like the, when you said I ventured out, like did you go out, did you, is it because you got new faces or something like that or you got a thing that pushed you over the edge?

Don't tell, really pushed me up. Don't tell comedy, yeah. Yeah, and another thing that kind of helped, I guess, maybe not helped me get a lot of following

but helped people know my name within the industry was doing like one of those HBO entre nos things like Latino

little showcase thing and got me on HBO but I think one thing that helped me a lot like you were saying

earlier that I never moved but I never moved moved but i never moved moved but i would do like the fake move where i'd go to my buddy's couch in new york and just stay there for like a month yeah and and i feel like that would help me get better than most of my friends back in texas for sure so then i'd go back to texas and we'd do a show and people would be like hey this kid's good and i was like yeah i just fucking lived off of crackers and

ketchup in new york for a month but i like honed my skills you know the fake move is a good move be like hey this kid's good and i was like yeah i just fucking lived off of crackers and ketchup in new york for a month but i like honed my skills you know like the fake move is a good move i did that a little bit too i that's how i kind of started to touch when i in my like late 20s and early 30s i would go to new york a lot stay with the dude and just do it and then come back and people would be like where are you uh where are you yeah i still get that in new york they're like when you're going back to L.A.? I'm like, I'm not from L.A. Yeah.

Well, they just assume that if you're not there, you're over there. And they don't know the fucking difference. And then other people will be like, yeah, yeah, you know him. He's from New York, too. And I'm like, yeah, I'm not from there. Yeah, but you go, yes, yeah, yeah, I know that dude. Yeah. Good dude.

I love to correct people. Yeah. You can feel like idiots. And I tell them I'll throw them over fences. That's right. How high was that fence could we could we have done it yeah no you could have thrown me that high was so i mean that fence was so low but even if it was higher i mean i weigh like a buck 38 when you took that i was like that's how i know i like that guy when i said that to him and we when you were fucking around back i thought i, I knew I liked that motherfucker. Dude, I knew I liked that motherfucker.

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No, you know what, though? I think the way that you've kind of captivated a new young generation is impressive, and I give you a lot of credit for what you've done in terms of, you know, you grew fast. I mean, I saw you before I met you. I saw you quickly go up those ranks. And I think someone did send me that Don't Tell clip. I think it was a Don't Tell comedy clip, you know? Where'd you—was that here? No.

That was San Diego. San Diego. Man, shout out to Don't Tell because that thing helped me out a lot. It bumped you, huh? You know Mark Smalls? Yeah, of course. He gave me—I feel like he gave me key advice i came out to la because i was gonna tape i was getting ready to tape that thing with hbo entre nos and uh ida rodriguez was gonna direct it so the dude edwin who's producing it wanted her to see my set so that she could get an idea

of how i am live or whatever right and he And he was really cool. He flew me out here or whatever. And he was like, yeah, I'll fly you back home. But I was like, no, no, no. Like, get me a flight that leaves from San Diego, because I'm going to take a Greyhound to San Diego, and I'm going to film a Don't Tell set. And he had heard about those, and Don't Tell was kind of like, I think they had maybe two, they had released like two of their like,

what is it, seasons? I don't know. Yeah, whatever it is, yeah. Whatever comics they'd, and so I their like what is seasons i don't know yeah whatever it is yeah what are comics they and so i i've seen what they've been doing for comics they've kind of been putting them out there more and he was like you're gonna do don't tell like what do they pay like 200 bucks i was like at the time i don't know what they pay now but at the time i was like yeah and he's like what are you doing like yeah i was like, just get my flight from San Diego. I was like, I'm going to San Diego, right? Yeah. So I got on this.

You took a Greyhound down there? Yeah. Oh, my God. God damn, that's a terrible fucking idea. It's a two-hour drive most of the time from here to San Diego. It took like four and a half hours. Yeah, four and a half, five hours. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a Greyhound, man. That's a lot of crackheads. Yeah. Did anybody tell you to maybe take the train? No, I didn't even know you could do that. That's a great train that goes down there you ever Did anybody tell you To maybe take the train? No I didn't even know You could do that That's a great

That's a great train That goes down there But also I was so broke Surf liner No no no It's like $32 Yeah?

Yeah Well I still save money I pay $25 to go to San Diego Well shit I think it was $22 now Maybe it was $22 now Ah shit But anyway

I got there And I just had my luggage And I hung out at the beach All day in San Diego Which I looked like an idiot Because I had this black hoodie Because I just took my luggage and I hung out at the beach all day in San Diego which I looked like an idiot because I had this black hoodie because I just took it off but I had

I don't know it was people thought I was homeless they were just definitely like staying away from me you shot that night and then you left that night or did you stay over

no no no I left that night damn and then you had no idea you thought you were just doing something because you thought it would be a good tape

and then sure enough I thought and that popped harder than the HBO shit way yeah way more and it sucks though because i like the hbo material more i wish the hb but you don't know people but i'm sure people see it in perpetuity right down yeah as time goes on people are going to go back and go search your name ralph barbosa and then go oh shit look at and he did this and this and that happens forever 20 minutes on hbo

um yeah but yeah but it was so cool man the whole the whole right there i was like And he did this and this. And that happens forever. I have 20 minutes on HBO. Yeah. Check it out. But it was so cool, man. The whole right there, I was like, in my notebook, like, what do I do? I should do these jokes, that jokes. And I'm freaking out. But I was just like, man, I don't know. I should just relax. And then when I got there, Kyle and all the dudes from Don't Tell were just so laid back.

They were like, man, go out there. They told all the comics, like, go out there. Do what you think is funny. If you feel like you bombed for eight minutes and you just want us to release two minutes, we'll just release two minutes. Yeah, what do they care? Yeah, like, just do your thing. And so I just went up there with, like, new material that I wrote on the bus. Which I'm glad, but I also regret.

You wish it was more seasoned? Yeah, some of the stuff that went viral and got me followers, but also over the next few weeks before it had released, I had been workshopping it more, and I got it so much better, and I was like, fuck, if only they could have seen that. But that's going to be like that for everything that you do. No matter what joke you put down on tape, you'll go back, and if you did it again or do it more, you're like, i've got more pieces to it now that i wish i should have done but what's

the what's the next like like look the goalposts are always going to move right as you get older and you keep growing and obviously your career is going to keep growing but do you have a thing now that you're like you know what i really want to play or really want to do is blank you know i'd like to direct a broadway show hell yeah it's always this is what this is all about i know no no i don't know for most of us i don't know i just like doing stand-up a lot um you don't have like a place to play that means a lot to you is there a place in dallas that means a lot to you uh when like what is that the majestic theater is there right the majestic theater is there and and so I had never before doing stand up I wasn't really a big

fan of stand up doing stand up and bombing at it made me like fall in love with it and learn about all these

become a fan of a lot of comics you know and so one time I saw I had been doing comedy I was like 18, 19 and I would go do mics

and I'd bomb and I wouldn't want to go back. I just sucked at it. But, you know, you keep wanting to be like, oh, no, maybe if I say this, say that. And then one day I saw that like documentary. I don't know what you would call it. That Hannibal takes Edinburgh. Edinburgh, yeah.

And it was like I was watching the scene where he kept getting like kind of frustrated from doing the same jokes over and over again and that stuck out to me and also just scenes of him listening to a set and that was the first time that it kind of made me realize like oh shit like it's just a lot of hard work it's a lot of work yeah yeah it's a lot of work so after that i went back to mike's and i didn't stop going and i just kept at it and kept working at it and um a comic from back home uh he he was like hey man I have tickets to uh Hannibal Hannibal Buress at at uh at the Majestic if you want to go I got an extra ticket and I was like hell yeah I had I had seen comedians from doing comedy but other than that I've never been to like I've still never been to a concert I've never seen like live music other than never like a local band at a bar maybe so like that was

like my first like event like show still to this day you've never been i've never been no god damn yeah and so i went and i sat like really high up but it was still cool as hell because i'm like oh shit like that's handleable yeah and yeah it was a cool show. And I just always thought it would be cool to, like, one day play that. And we did it, like, three weeks ago. Oh, no shit. Yeah. Oh, that's wild. It was dope, yeah.

Such a cool venue, man. Yeah, yeah. But now when you're there, do you have those moments of reflection where you're like, because sometimes it's hard when you're in it to go, damn, this is kind of, a piece of you oftentimes when you're inside of it is just like, yeah, it's great, whatever, and then you move on. Did it hit you a little bit that you were like, this is kind of, a piece of you, oftentimes when you're inside of it, it's just like, yeah, it's great, whatever, and then you move on. Did it hit you a little bit that you were like, this is kind of fucking amazing that I was here watching Hannibal not too long ago? When you're having sex at a cool downtown hotel after a show like that, it's all in

your head. I'm soaking in all of it. Are you fucking after every show? No God no Well let's get that going Ladies Fans out there Let's make sure we can fuck Ralph

After every show That would mean a lot to me If you're a real fan Support people that I love And respect And please fuck him After the show guys I'm not the type to

I don't think I'm the type to really commit, but I'm also not the type to just try to fuck all the time. I'm still a little bit of a romantic. No, I'm not picky. I'm more like... I like those meet-cutes. Oh. And if it just happens...

Tell us a good meet-cute that you had. Did you have one recently? With a hooker? Yeah. No, not a hooker. Yeah, I it just happens. Tell us a good meet cute that you had. Did you have one recently? With a hooker? Yeah. No, not a hooker. Yeah, I don't know. Just if you meet and you guys hang out and, you know, you're feeling each other. Even if we don't fuck the first night we hang out, like.

If it's good conversation and you like to hang out. If it's good conversation, if we can joke around and stuff. Now, but these girls that are coming at you now, are they fans? Are they big fans? No, I'm actually more attracted to girls who are not really big fans. And if we're going to have like a one-night stand type of thing, I definitely don't want you to be a fan. I want you to be one of those girls who's like just barely interested

because you see that I have like a following. That's always better, you know? They just see your gram and they just know you have a lot of followers if you're like a huge fan then it just feels weird yeah they're just like i always wanted this and i'm like ah in the middle of it yeah always wanted this yeah so that i don't i'd rather not and the last i think serious relationship i had for the last two well i wouldn't even say serious they lasted like a few months but no that's pretty good that's i mean that's you're seeing somebody if two months is you're seeing them yeah if you're hanging with them yeah and that was and it was

only because they did they didn't know who i was at all oh that's great yeah that was badass yeah that's wonderful that's that gives me so much confidence. And then afterwards, they do know you, and then they hate your shit forever. Oh, man. That's what's great. That's probably what's going on right now. One time, I was at the airport, and I think I had to go to check in at the little front desk thing or something. You know, they call you. They're like, oh, we got to assign you a seat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, man, the girl there was, like, so pretty. And I was like, man, I kind of wanted to, like, ask her for her number. And she didn't know who I was. At least that's what she says, you know. And I believe it. She seems legit. And I got her number.

And, man, that boosted my confidence way more than any show could. Because at that point, you're a regular dude. Yeah. She just thinks that I'm probably, you know, working at McDonald's. I don't know what she thinks, but she gave me a chance. Yeah. And, you know, it feels like when you rob a bank with no gun. Not that I've done that, but I imagine.

You're just like, oh, shit, I didn't even have to pull out the gun. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. I did it with a note, too. I passed her a note. What did it say? I bought her some Skittles from the store, and I brought them. Original Skittles?

Are we talking? Sour Skittles. Yeah, smart. A little fancy. Yeah, smart. Kid's got some money now. Yeah. I'll sour Skittle you up, bitch.

And I wrote on a note. I was like, put your number on this paper, or I will fucking kill you. Nah, I'm just like, I wrote on a note. I was like, put your number on this paper or I will fucking kill you. No, I'm just kidding. Nah, I just like, I wrote my number on the note, I think. And I was just like, hey, it's nice to meet you. I was like, you're really pretty. Text me sometime. And yeah.

Hit you right away. Never once hung out with her. Never will. She works at the airport man The fact that I That I even got that far Was like Good enough for me

That's huge Completion Yeah The hunt is probably better Than the kill in that If you did meet up with her Maybe it would've been shitty It was kinda like

The thing was better Than the other thing Yeah You know what I mean That worked another time too But That girl like She found out who I was

And we were like texting and she's just being like really dry that was boring which sucked because i thought i don't know i was really interested in like talking to her and stuff and i was like oh yeah yeah i'll hang out with her and it was in my hometown so i was like hey i'll come back and better you know we'll get married and let's have like a farm And We'll have kids And we'll stop calling each other By our names I'll call her ma

She'll call me pa But Nah she's just been so dry I was like Ah fuck her She didn't want any of that She didn't want no ma You want like

You want that old white Retired story That's what you want Nah not really Get a couple of kids Running around Ralph Barbosa If you had that accent

You know how funny that'd be I'm Ralph Barbosa You know it's crazy You go to like Certain parts of Texas There's a lot of Mex you had that accent, you know how funny that'd be? I'm Ralph Barbosa. You know what's crazy? You go to certain parts of Texas, there's a lot of Mexicans with that accent. They're like, hey, buddy. Yeah. Yeah, I swear to God. And we've seen you at the comedy show, Barbosa.

Especially the more south Texas you go. Mexican dudes that sound like that? Yeah. Even in Dallas, though. Really? Yeah. I've never seen this shit. Especially out in the country. I'll take you to meet some. Yeah. You know Dallas, though. Really? Yeah. I've never seen this shit. Especially out in the country.

I'll take you to meet some. Yeah. You know, there's my uncle's buddy, I think his name's Pete, and I forgot his other buddy's name, and they build, they like restore old Chevys a lot, a lot of old cars. I'll take you to see their shop, and they talk like that. They all sound like that? Hell yeah. And then you meet a white dude in the shop that's like, hey, what's up, dog?

And you're like, come on, dude. No, this is not. This is Shia LaBeouf back there. What's up, Holmes? Nah, I don't want to... That stuff looks very peaceful, very calming. You know, when you see the old married couple, they're just kind of living out the way. But if you think about it,

it's a lot of work. Like, to get to that point, I don't want to deal with all that. Yeah. It's like years of fighting. Somebody has to cheat at least once. Yeah.

And you're going to, and by the way, no matter who you end up with, you're going to fight your whole life. I mean, you're going to fight your whole life.

That's what love is. That's why I don't want to get married. Even if you're not married, if you've just like have partnership with somebody, if you're just like sharing a kid,

you're going to fight. You fight with your, your, your baby's mama. Yeah. Well, I mean, you're never going, if you just have partnership with somebody, if you're just sharing a kid, you're going to fight. You fight with your baby's mama? Yeah. Well, I mean, you're never going to not. Do you assume that I call her baby mama because I'm Mexican? Any minority in general, yeah. Any minority. I would say that if you were black, I would say, yeah.

If it was a white person, I would say your son's mother. I usually do say my baby mom's, but because I'm at this white podcast, I was like, my son's mother. Yeah, nice try. We both flipped it on each other. When you're hanging with your homies, and you're like, when I'm with my crew, I'm sorry, my friends. When I'm with the essays. When I'm with my essays, what's the high majority of your audience?

Latino? Latino. I pay a lot of attention to this stuff. It's kind of interesting to me. Yeah. I'm always like, what the fuck do people think of me, you know?

But, so I'm from Texas. From Texas and to the West, going through like Arizona, Nevada, all that shit. Nevada,

all that. The crowds get more and more Mexican. Yeah. So like last night, all Mexican crowd. Denver will be like majority Mexican. You get like a little mix of other people. As you go from Texas through the south and the Midwest going east.

Yeah. It'll change up a little bit. So like. 50-50. More half and half? I wouldn't say half and half. But it's still majority Latino. But you start getting more Dominicans, Puerto Ricans.

And you'll get some white dudes. Sometimes you'll see a couple black dudes and i'm just like oh shit like yeah nice you know yeah branching out yeah yeah i feel like i'm apple or something but yeah it's just crazy then you get then you get to like um yeah like the east coast and you'll you'll get a little more you You'll get a little more black people. You'll get some Indian folk, some... No Asians, though. Nah, we'll get some Asians. Yeah. Indians are technically Asians, aren't they?

Indians are Asians, yeah, for sure. So, yeah, we'll get Asians. But we'll get like... But the OG, I'm talking about Asian Asians. OG, yeah, we'll get the original Asians. But you'll get that if you go Northwest. If you play San Francisco, you play... Oh, yeah, we have gone... That's all Asian. Once you go up to the Northwest, I'll you'll get that if you go Northwest. If you play San Francisco, you play- Oh, yeah. We have gone-

That's all Asian. Once you go up to the Northwest, I'll say it gets a little more diverse again. Yeah. Just a little bit. Not too much. But for the majority, it's always Latino. And once we're headed West, it's just Mexican. Yeah.

Which is the best. Come on, man. They're a huge fan. Like, we kind of acquire a lot of Mexican fans from bad friends and they, because Southern California.

They just scare me, though. I love them. I fucking love them. Yeah, but they love you and they're always going to love you,

but I'm one of them. So they're going to turn on you, you think? No, not that they will turn on me. I don't think like, oh,

they're for sure going to turn on me, but I have less room to fuck around. If I fuck up, they'll turn on me. Especially California. California Mexicans, you guys are on like prison rules in the real world. Like in, not the real world, but the free world.

Right. Yeah. Look at George Lopez. When me and him got into that thing, I wasn't even mad at him. But because he went against his own race, fucking Mexicans wanted to chop his head off. One of the funniest things I've ever seen online. There's such a prison rule thing though. Like I was like,

yeah, he's all right. You know, like I'm cool with it. It's also because you're young and he's like an elder statesman. And the problem with that, no matter what, even if that was an older white dude,

younger white comic, older black dude, younger black comic, same thing would have happen where the new generation sees that as weakness from the older generation being like why are you so afraid of this young dude just fucking around what is that about so it just showed to them to a younger crowd who most most people that are comedy fans are i would say 22 to 35 is probably the biggest chunk of hardcore comedy goers so they see that as weakness for the

older guys they go what the fuck don't you like ralph for i don't even understand that's the problem with that is it's like uh that was and i don't even think it was as blown out of proportion i mean i think it was blown more out of proportion than what originally the intention was but you swam away you know real clean out of that yeah yeah you looked better than ever out of that shit boosted you on accident. It was great. Yeah, it was pretty cool, man. It was fucking funny as shit.

Also, I remember hearing that and not really knowing you. I mean, I'd maybe heard your name, but I didn't really know you. And even me, as an outsider, I was like, I don't know what this beef is about this kid. So then, oddly enough, it made me look you up even more. And then I was like, well, I think I like his shit. So then it made you, I mean, it makes people inherently kind of turn on him anyway. Yeah. Because you didn't have, you didn't start any beef.

Like you did, it's not like you shot a gun first and someone's like, fuck that kid. He thinks he's the shit. Mike Tyson, one time in this video, he quoted something from that book, The Prince by Machiavelli. And it made me want to go read that book. But then I was like just i just go off of his quote yeah um fuck a whole book i actually read a little bit of it but it's too like this is what you do when you're in power i'm like chill out yeah fucking maniacal ass book right uh but there is this quote in there that it's like when you take over a new country and you you their king, you're supposed to like chop off their head and then like show it to them and tell them what you're going to do next, you know? And I don't think I chopped off George Lopez's head.

And obviously the dude still has his, I mean, he's fucking George Lopez, you know? Yeah. But I think right there, he kind of chopped off his own head for a little bit and he just kind of like landed in front of me. I was just like, hey. Just took advantage of the situation like i'd love to see you guys sit down together and talk about it i'm interested that's so you would never i wouldn't mind it i wouldn't i would love to see that i'm not gonna like i don't think it's that big of a deal to where i'd like avoid it or like i need to make it happen if it happens it happens right

right i feel like you're gonna ambush me i'm so interested yeah george come on in he's like hey mother no because i've no i know there's like a huge pussy you know it's just like oh i was just playing george i would like to see how it works i want to be that i'll be a mediator i know i because i you know i like you both and so i thought that was a weird thing i didn't understand it but also you know that happens across the board i don't think it was just a latino thing too because i know that's what you mean where the audience was like when you say something about your own but that happens to us when an older comic you know i'm 40 now like any guy in my generation if you inherently start shooting at a guy that's younger for no reason you should do that you should start shooting at

people yeah who should i shoot at i don't know who do you like who's young and popping right now you don't you know i don't know that's probably my problem i can't shoot anybody because i don't fucking know i was just in uh i was just in new york and who did i see i can give you a list of people i'll email you a list of people and then you choose who you want to shoot yeah let me let me choose that That's cool. I just don't give a fuck enough. I hope everyone does their thing. There's plenty of pie to go around.

Go eat your own fucking slice. I don't give a shit. Agreed. I'm happy if people are doing good that are working hard. And I've said that before on this show multiple times about, like, you know, I know people, younger comics a lot, the Matt Rife is like a, it's in the joke of the zeitgeist. Here it comes. But I got to tell you. He's bought a shit on Matt Rife. No a it's in the joke of the Zeitgeist sort of thing here it comes

but I gotta tell you he's about to shit on Matt Rife no here it comes it's the polar opposite I'm happy for that kid good for that kid he's gonna George Lopez

Matt Rife good for that kid nah Matt Rife is cool I've known him since he was young young he started coming around the club when he was like 16

and I think it's funny that like people think it's like an easy target but I'm like that guy's not taking any of your fucking audience and he's not eating anything off your plate. So go sell your own tickets and who gives a shit? Yeah. You don't have to like his shit because he's famous.

It's fucking insane. I hear all the stories about him starting at super young. He was 15 or 16. I used to fucking come around the club and they wouldn't let him in. And they're like, you can't be in here. And he would sneak in because he wanted to hang out so bad and just see and see comedy that guy is nice too man i've never met him in person but just through messaging he's a good kid man i really like him but that's my point is like i don't have the time of day to give a fuck about a young comic on the

rise i'll support you if somebody's coming up and they're good and they work hard couldn't care less i don't even know what the beef would be you should know more than anybody, you're way above people in your class, what would it serve you to shit on the guy below you? Sometimes it just feels good to shit. Does it? Shit on people? Oh, fuck that.

I shit on my crew all the time. Yeah, your own crew. Yeah. You should. Like your boy outside. I saw what you did to him when he walked in. That was nuts.

Did you see that when he walked in? He makes him, for the fans that don't know, he makes his boy that comes with him, he makes him tie his shoes for him. He wiggles his foot and he goes tie, tie, tie, tie. That's crazy bro that you do that shit.

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in the app. Find the perfect travel experiences for you. Do more with Viator. Ginger. I like gingers. But I will, I will take advantage

of Jaime's kindness sometimes. Like what? What do you do? Do you make him go run errands and shit for you that you don't want to do? I might make him. He went and got Advils for us today. It's like across the street. But if we go out like a group of friends and I'm hanging out with a girl

and then me and that girl just start clicking and I start talking to another girl, and then me and that girl just start clicking, and I start talking to another girl, Jaime will, like, divert the girl. He's the interceptor? Yeah. This guy's the G. I love that guy.

I knew I could feel his energy. That's the fucking man. And sometimes I got to pay it back. He had a little fling going on with somebody, and I think we were, like, in San Jose or Fresno. I don't remember. And he was like, yeah, I've still been talking to thisno i don't remember and he was like yeah i've still been talking to this girl you know and then i'd like to see her when he's like you're going back for like a one night i had like a one night show with like it's like a bunch of comics you know

like dl and felipe and them and uh i was like yeah man just come i was like the the the producers or whatever the people who booked the show they got me a room i was like we yeah, man, just come. I was like, the producers or whatever, the people who booked the show, they got me a room. I was like, we'll just share the room and you can hang out with that girl or whatever. But I didn't think he was actually going to bring her back to the hotel. You didn't believe in him or you didn't think it was going to happen? I didn't know what to expect. I didn't really pay too much mind. I'm thinking this is just some girl that they're going to go get dinner or something.

Right, right, right. And I'm not paying too much mind. I'm not looking into it too much. I'm more focused just on my show because I'm a professional. That's right. And afterwards, he into it too much. I'm going to focus just on my show because I'm a professional. That's right. And afterwards, he's like, yeah, I'm going to go hang out with that girl.

I'm going to go get a drink with her. I was like, all right, cool, man. I'm going to just hang out here at the hotel. He's like, you don't want to go? He's like, honestly, I'm kind of worried. He's like, what if she just doesn't even show up? And I was like, all right, fuck it. I'll go hang out.

And I get there. That girl gets there. And they're hanging out out and they kind of just assume my room and i'm just in the lobby like just kicking and waiting for that waiting for them yes and i'm like what the fuck like i'm and i'm like hey fuck it you know good for him that he he found this girl he likes and they're hanging out but i'm also kind of hating the girl because i'm like this bitch she just was like oh is your room rough barbosa fuck you i'm gonna go bang your friend like just take my time and she was telling apparently she was telling hyman um like oh just stay just stay an extra night like just stay an extra day and you hang out with me and stuff you

know just stay and we'll get breakfast in the morning and my flight i was like i was literally there one night i showed i got there 3 p.m we did the show i was supposed to fly out the next morning like 6 a.m and i'm pretty sure i told her and she just said hi me like yeah yeah let's just we'll stay here at the hotel and we'll get breakfast in the morning and make a day out of tomorrow and i'm like okay so i just don't get my room back like i don't even get an hour of sleep? The audacity. And that's why he goes and gets Advil. That's why sometimes I'm like, go get the fucking Advil. That's payback.

That's good payback. I'm glad that you keep your friends around you. That's a luxury that I think I wish I had. I moved to L.A. as a young dude, and we had no friends. We had to make all these new friends in this city with all these you know transplants and I that was one thing I saw in guys that I always was jealous of like hometown cats like you know Bargatze moved back you know to the south and I think like that's a cool thing to go back home I always wish in my mind I could have done that and I'm too late now but also everyone in Chicago is I don't know anybody

there anymore I mean everyone's gone but I think that's a dope thing that you've kind of cultivated a crew of your friends and kept close I think it's

I think it's important it'll help your comedy I guess in the longest run drains your pockets but yeah whatever it's fun

what's the point what's the point of having a career if you can't really like enjoy it with people enjoy it it's like a pizza, you know? It's exactly like pizza.

It's just like pizza. It's a lot cheesy and greasy. What do you put on your pizza? I like pineapples. I know a lot of people hate on that. But I like all sorts of pizza. I like the one, like the Supreme. I don't like olives.

That's probably the one topping that I'm like, get that. Get that out of here. What color olives? Green or black. I don't like olives. I don't understand how people can like olives they're delicious man you drink them in the martini i don't have martinis no i don't do that but i like i like green olives with like cheese and crackers and like a charcuterie board

yeah fuck yeah black olives i don't fuck with black olives are charcuterie boards are so like white i don't know yeah especially with like what you just said i imagine that's like our chips and salsa i don't know but we like chips and salsa too bro yeah but that's like oh is that your shit oh it's like ours obviously we share it with you just like you share your charcuterie boards we've shared a lot yeah hot dogs you're welcome i remember at birth's thing you were going crazy on those hot dogs i was a i would i would suck a glizzy He was holding up all the hot dogs He's like hot dogs for everybody Yeah And I'd put them in my mouth

And they'd go Watch this, watch this And they'd go take it out And I'd And I could spit it right back out Right back in perfect Perfect form, yeah It came out shinier

Well I had so much practice Putting shit down my throat It was so easy to slide a glizzy down there You could swallow it like a sword You ever seen when they do that? Yeah, the sword swallowers. Yeah, maybe.

I think, I mean, I might be down for that. I look like I could have been classically trained at clown school. I have that history. I feel like you have a pretty decent sized mouth.

I feel like it could probably stretch more. I look at your mouth, I'm like, that's stretchable. At this age, I don't think so. Oh, yeah. Believe in yourself.

My jaw's been broken so many times after all those bar fights that I don't know if I'll, yeah. Believe in yourself. My jaw's been broken so many times after all those bar fights that I don't know if I'll be able to... Have you really been in bar fights? You're fucking around

with me right now. When I was in college. Yeah? Yeah. Against other college students or did you fight like... Oh, we'd fight elementary school kids.

Yeah? Yeah, against other fucking college kids. Some little fat elementary kid broke your jaw? Just smoking fucking junior high kids. College was the worst

time to fight because you had all the confidence and the booze in the world. No business fighting because it was never going to end well because everyone was so fucked up. And it was always, it was never one-on-one.

In high school, fights were good because they were one-on-one. It was always like, for me, most fights I would say that when you confronted someone, you were going to fight them. Did you fight a lot in high school? Not a lot, but a little bit. When I was a kid, I would say, when you confronted someone, you were going to fight them. Did you fight a lot in high school?

Not a lot, but a little bit. When I was a kid, I fought the most. When I was a little punk ass, run around. Was it because nobody hugged you? Did you get a fair amount of hugs growing up, would you say? I got a fair amount of hugs, yeah. I think it was a defense mechanism when someone was chirping at me a little bit. I just was like, I'm going to swing on them.

Maybe you got too many hugs. No, I think it didn't get... We're Irish, Catholic, so we don't hug a lot. It's like pats on the shoulder. That's where your temper came from. She's like, why are you not patting my back right now? Rub my back. Yeah.

Well, that's what I do after I beat someone's ass in a fight. I go, now rub my fucking back. So after they're all bloody, they rub my back until I'm ready to go home. Nice. I like your style, man. You got to create some balance. You got to have the blood of your enemy on your back, you know? Yeah, that's right.

That's me holding their head. I feel that. And I will hold their hair up while they rub my back. I've been in a couple fights. I've won a few. Lost a few. Lost most. Yeah, you got to lose them.

You got to lose a lot. But most of the time I fought as a kid, I was fighting, like, bigger dudes, and I feel like that made me better So anytime I fought somebody my size I would just kill them Yeah I was like you scrawny little bitch And they're like my double

But I'm just like I see what my friends see You box still don't you? Nah not anymore When we talked last You said you were still training But you just gave You wanted to

You were over it huh? Uh yeah Um What? I kinda just fucked up The relationships with everybody I had there. Really? At the gym? Yeah.

Why? What happened? Did something bad go down? Nah, not too bad. The coach, the main coach, he was real cool, but I just started getting uncomfortable there. What do you mean uncomfortable? You don't have to share it if it's personal. That's a little personal, but not too bad.

Nah, I'll share it. Whatever. All right. Whatever. No, I dated one of the girls that worked there. There it is. That didn't go so well. Yeah, there it is.

My fault. I knew some shit. I was like, this couldn't have just been an argument with somebody. But she wasn't going to continue going to the gym, I don't think, or whatever. Because it ended poorly? It ended poorly. Yeah. And I don't think there was any problem with like, oh, I'm going to stop going.

You keep going. Nothing like that, right? But the coach, we always got along really good. But he started getting just like a little pushy And he would like invite people to the gym To like Interview me and stuff And I was like what are you doing man

I don't want to do this I just want to come work out You know what I mean This is a place for you to get away Yeah you don't want to feel like you're on Like you got to do comedy bullshit or interviews Yeah so one time it came like that And one time the start of all that kind of just making me lose interest was uh they wanted to do a charity show to raise money for the

gym because it wasn't like a bad ass like prestige gym it was like very local it was a local yeah and uh i was like man i'm down and so we went to this venue to see what we could do like this show and i was gonna bring in some comics or something and they were telling me how much they wanted to charge for tickets and i was like that they wanted to do like vip seating for this much and that much and i was just like hell no like this is ridiculous prices how much was it like 100 bucks they wanted to do like 100 bucks a ticket and i was like bro what the hell like wow i was like i don't charge that and they're like but you could and i'm like that doesn't mean i want to like it's for charity and i'm like for your gym like i can i'd rather just

give you some money and then do a show where i charge this much true and so after that it just it just became like well do this for us and do that and do this and i was like i don't want to work out anymore so now but you're gonna you're gonna find a new gym or you're just kind of over it in general nah i'm over working out man Hell yeah I'm 27 I figured I gotta It's too old now

A few more years left in this life I'm on my way out the door You know how hard it is To get Dude Some old man bullshit But man it gets harder To wanna work out

I used to fucking Everyday love it Now I'm like I'd rather just chill with a dog It gets harder and harder, man. It's definitely one of those, like, the more you do, the more you want to do. True. Yeah, but that goes away, too.

One day, like, I could work out for three days straight, and each day I'll be, like, doing a little more, a little more. But one day of, like, sucking down a good old glizzy, like the way, Santino style. That Santino glizzy style. I'm just like well fuck working out i'm gonna hit it like santino you know are you still drinking or no sometimes you were you said to me when we talked we had a couple drinks at the end of the tour

and you were like i think i need a break i remember you saying that to me like i think i need a fucking well yeah i was going pretty hard hard for a few months before that tour. Yeah. And a couple weeks before that tour started, I had like sobered up and like completely. Off of everything. Off of everything. And I was trying to stay sober on the tour, but I fucked around here and there with the old mushrooms and whatnot. And just a few drinks here and there.

But I was just like fuck like mostly the mushrooms made me want to take a break and i have been taking a break yeah in a good in a good way like it cleared your mind and you were like i don't think i want that other shit in my body no i just had a lot of really bad mushroom trips you had bad trips oh yeah we're doing them like every weekend for a while yeah and so And so eventually, they just, like... They catch up to you a little bit. Yeah. And I just felt really irresponsible.

And so I was just in this trip, just like, what the fuck you doing, man? You just fucking up out here, like... Yeah, but not at all. Take care of your body. You know what I mean? So nothing. Now you're cleaning out. Nah, bro.

I haven't done mushrooms, but I'll still drink. I don't want to be one of those, like, you know, you never want to say, like, oh, I fully stopped, or yeah, I'm going to drink. It's just, if I feel like drinking, I'll drink. I think I've matured a little bit, right? Like, I can handle myself. You don't smoke, though, do you?

I smoke sometimes, but I can't really do that anymore, man. I could take, like, three hits. Anything past three hits, like, I can't hang no more. I don't know if it's just me becoming this older pussy or if weed is getting stronger or a mix of both. I think it's both. Yeah?

No, I think weed's just getting stronger is all that is. Bro, when I was 20 and smoking daily, I could take a couple joints and not even think twice about it, just hanging out with people. I'll smoke a couple of joints and not even think twice about it. Just hanging out with people. I'll smoke a joint with some friends. If I take two hits, we're good. I'm just like, I'm a piece of shit. I don't need anything more than that.

I don't need that shit. Dude, we have friends that we hang out with that are like 500 milligram fucking edibles. I'm like, what's the- Fuck that, bro. And I'm 200 pounds. Even 500 would fuck me up. I would eat a 10 milligram one and I'm just like, even 500 would fuck me up. I would eat a 10 milligram one and I'm just like,

this is too much. To 10? 10 does it? 10 is my like sleepy time. If I can, 10 feels good to go to bed to, to me. I think 10 was good

for like, if I'm at the house. But if I eat 10 and I go out, because I usually, I'll eat 10 and I'll stay at home. If I do partake

in an edible, I'll be like, fuck it, I'll just eat 10 and like, maybe not sleepy if I do partake in an edible. I'll be like, fuck it. I'll just eat 10 and like maybe not sleepy time, but at least once I'm relaxing. One time I ate 10 and I think we were in, I don't know where I was at anymore. I just remember I was like, oh, we're going to go eat. We're going to go like to a mall before the shows and fuck it. I ate 10 and we're at this restaurant.

It's like super packed. It's this Chinese restaurant and they didn't even have tables available. And you order at this little kiosk and the pictures show very small portions

of the food. And you know, I usually go to Chinese restaurants and they give you big portions but in my mind, I'm like, well, I've never been to this city. Maybe here they just give you these small portions so instead of order is me

and my buddy hyman and we just got like okay i want orange chicken well i also want orange chicken so we got like two of those and like two of this and two of that right and then there's no fucking table and i'm just like the fucking edibles kicking in and i'm hungry as fuck so i kept ordering more food but i was just holding like this, the fucking portions were so huge. I don't know why they showed little pictures. It's so confusing. So I'm just standing there eating this big ass shrimp fried rice. Baked out of your head in the mall.

Yeah, and I'm talking to strangers like, can I sit with you? And then those strangers were looking at me like, what the fuck? And I'm high as fuck, and I'm just like, oh, fuck. Everybody here hates me. Like, fuck. Which no one paying attention to you at all. But in your mind, everyone's looking at you. Yeah.

Nobody even thinks you're there. I'm like, they think I'm stupid for holding this big ass bowl, like just standing here. And then I go back up to the register. I'm like, yo, can I get this in a to-go box? And they're like, all right, fuck it. And they put it in a to-go box, right? And all our orders aren't coming out together it's like shrimp fried rice all right cool i'm holding the shrimp fried rice now and i'm like

can you put this into gold box all right cool and i'm eating out the to-go box now and then like five minutes later they're like orange chicken and i'm like that's also me and i just take the plate and i'm eating a little bit and i'm like could you put this into gold box now and they're just like what the fuck why did you not order it to go yeah so and then halfway through the meal they finally we got a little seat this guy let us sit with him and so we're sitting there and even the guy is looking at us because every five minutes they're like beef and broccoli and they're like all right whole fucking menu yeah we're just bringing it over but by the last meal the last thing they gave us was the fucking egg rolls which i thought was gonna be the first thing should have been first and we were just so embarrassed to get up

there and but we're sitting near the register so she's like egg rolls egg rolls they're like you i know it's you like egg rolls they're like fuck get your ass up here and get these fucking egg rolls man i was like i'm never i was like once this that was such a bad high experience that i was it was one of those that like i don't want to smoke for like a good month. Well, edibles in public have never served me well. Every time I take an edible and go do something, immediately when I'm out doing something, I'm like, this was absolutely the fucking worst idea. Because if I can smoke a joint and be out in public, I knew how it was going to affect me. The mystery box of an edible to me, I knew how it was going to affect me. The mystery box of

an edible to me, I have to be at the house. No fucking, I can't do that. Like, we'll see if this one's a heavy one or a light one. The last time I got caught up, I was with Adam Ray and I think it was me, him and Brad Williams and someone else. And I picked him up at Adam Devine's house and he said we're going to a baseball game we're going to Angels game so we were driving down to Orange County and he's like hey man you want some um do you want some uh uh some drops you know some THC drops it's like just a little vial and I said oh for sure and I put a few on my tongue and I was like damn I don't think this thing's fucking working so I squeeze this shit again and then it's

sprayed out and he was like oh shit he's like dude that's it was all tincture or whatever and he was like it's you know that's like concentrated you only need like one or you don't need what did you do what is that what did you say it's all tincture tincture yeah I think it was like

is that the word I'm looking for tincture right it's like it was like Is that the word I'm looking for Tincture right It's like It was like Concentrated THC oil Tincture THC Let me see if I'm saying it right Yeah cannabis tinctures T-I-N-C-T-U-R-E-S

Okay so tincture means I think it was It's just concentrated oil Concentrated oil Yeah so I thought that was just like a Like a word you could use For other stuff Like if they bring me Like really spicy food like oh it's tincture like it's oh yeah you

gotta taste some of this tincture dude put some tincture on that bitch it'll make it so much better yeah high potency tincture can be stronger than low potency edibles uh it varies was based on the formulation but anyway what it what it was was it was a full fucking vial of this shit and i had no idea i didn't even think about it. And I put the whole fucking thing on my tongue. And at first I thought, if I start freaking out, it's going to make this way worse. So I was like, just be cool. Let's ride the wave, which just happens with most like psychedelics.

I'm always like, be cool. It's going to hit you hard. Chill out. But the first wave was so fucking big, knocked me on my ass. We were halfway down Orange County. I was like, we should go back. We got to go back, bro. We have to go back. I was freaking the fuck out. Then he was like, he's like, we were an hour before the game or two hours before game time. He's like, let's, um, we'll go to the movie theater. We'll get out of the car. We'll change our environment. That'll help. I got in line

to one of the kiosks to buy my movie ticket and I physically couldn't do it. I swear to God. I was so fucked up that I was like, I can't, bro, I couldn't do it.

I couldn't. And these guys, by the way, wanted to go see, what's the Tom Hanks movie where he, the plane, you know, he fucking Sully,

the Sullenberg. Yeah. I was like, I'm not trying to go see a fucking plane crash film. I'm baked off my fucking brain. So they were like, well, we're going to see it. So I sat in the hallway on the phone with my wife eating popcorn because I was like,

I'm not going to watch a plane crash, bro. That was the last time I took like vials of shit. I like how your friends took you to the movies to calm you down. And they went to a plane crash film. Yeah. Because, of course, Adam was like, I want to see Tom Hanks do the plane fucking. I was like, he was regular high. I was a fucking, if I was just regular stoned, it would have been fun. But I was uncomfortably high.

I needed to see Hello Kitty or something. I needed something like it. I needed the opposite of plane crashing to level me the fuck out. I need to get away from people when I'm that high. Me too. Because I overthink the group. Like, if I'm with a group of guys and I get too high,

I'm just like, oh, it's so gay. But then I start to overthink it and I'm just like, well, what am I supposed

to do? Hang out with like a bunch of women and then I'm like, what am I, a pervert? And I'm just like, oh,

what the fuck is just wrong with me? Am I gay or am I a pervert? Yeah. Well, I have to be something. I have to be one

of the two, man. Look, I appreciate you so very much coming on the show, man. I respect you. I admire you. I like your shit. You're a talented dude.

I'm excited for continued success for you. People that have not seen you, which is probably rare, go to ralphbarbosa.com. Yeah? Oh, no. Barbosacomedy.com. Barbosacomedy.com. Or just follow me on Instagram. Follow him on the gram.

We'll put the link in all the description below so you can come see this motherfucker live because he is phenomenal. A great comic. Great dude. Look into that camera right there and say one word to end the episode. If you want to say a phrase, you can. Some people say a word. Some people say a phrase. Bitchin'.

In here, we pour whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger beard. phrase bitchin'.