Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Ronny Chieng & Esther Povitsky Live in Toronto at JFL42
Episode Date: September 27, 2019Santino sits down at JFL42 in Toronto with Ronny Chieng (The Daily Show & Crazy Rich Asians) and Esther Povitsky (Alone Together & Dollface) to a live audience. We talk about how Canadians treat Ameri...cans, playing the game of hollywood and we all play the most intense game of would you rather. TICKETS AT http://www.andrewsantino.com/ STAND UP DATES NOV 8-9 NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE NOV 10 HUNTSVILLE, ALABAMA NOV 15-16 SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA NOV 21-23 INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA DECEMBER 6-7 BREA, CALIFORNIA JAN 9-11 EDMONTON, AB, CANADA JAN 16-18 DENVER, COLORADO FOLLOW ME ON INSTA https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ FOLLOW WHISKEY GINGER PODCAST ON INSTA https://instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ FOLLOW RONNY CHIENG ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/ronnychieng/?hl=en FOLLOW LITTLE ESTHER ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster/?hl=en KEEP YOUR DING DONG CLEAN AND GO TO: https://www.manscaped.com USE PROMO CODE WHISKEY GET A EARTHY CONSCIOUS NIGHTS SLEEP WITH BUFFY GO TO https://buffy.co USE PROMO CODE WHISKEY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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What up, Whiskey Ginger fans?
If you want to come see the Red Rocket live, I got some dates, baby.
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November 15th and 16th, Cobbs in San Francisco.
November 21, 22, 23 in Indianapolis.
Then December 6th and 7th, Brea, California.
What up?
January 9th, 10th, 11th, Edmonton House of Comedy. Then 16,
17, 18, I'll be at Denver Comedy Works. Come check me out. Go to andrewsantino.com for tickets.
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what's up someone there's one guy waving hi
what a funny thing to do everybody claps claps. He's just like, hello.
What's your name?
What?
Rev?
R-A-M.
Ram.
Cool.
Are you from Toronto?
All right. Awesome.
Thank you for coming, Ram.
I appreciate it.
Do you listen to the show all the time?
Okay.
Okay.
Just lie. You know, like, do you know what lying is? Big fan. Say,
big fan. Let's do this again. Ram, thank you for coming. Do you listen to the show all the time?
Love it. Love it. I want to bring out my guests because we have one hour to do this, so I'm going to bring them out right away.
I don't know which order they're coming out in.
It doesn't really matter,
but they are fucking incredible.
I love them both.
The first person I'll bring out,
she has a show coming out on Hulu,
November 15th. It's called Dollface.
She had her own show alone together.
She is an incredible comedian, performer,
all of the above.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Esther Bavitsky. Little Esther!
Yeah!
Hi.
Just choose one. It doesn't matter.
Yeah. I'm going to sit in the middle
because I'm pretty.
Thank you.
And my next
guest is incredibly talented
and funny. He is on The Daily Show.
He was in Crazy Rich Asians.
He is so dope.
Ladies and gentlemen, Ronnie Chang!
Ronnie, up here!
Up here!
Come on, man.
I was just following the crowd there.
Sorry.
Yeah, what are you doing?
I want to start it off the way I do.
In fact, you guys can say it with me if you know it.
Okay?
Welcome back to Whiskey Ginger.
My guest today is,
one of the favorite people on earth.
I say that for all my guests,
but I mean it once again.
It's Esther and Ronnie Chang.
Give it up one more time for them.
Yay.
Thanks, everyone, for coming out.
You guys are really bad at following directions.
I thought that was going to go much smoother,
but this is incredible.
I'm glad you guys came.
I wanted two really bright, funny, wonderful shooting stars.
But instead you got...
No, no, no.
No, I think you both are very talented.
I mean, thank you guys for being on time.
I appreciate it.
Have you guys...
Okay, we want to tell...
We were talking about a Toronto story.
I think we should all give our fun festival Toronto story.
Mine was, I got going to do press.
A cop stopped our car, our cab,
because the bumper was falling off.
Yeah.
Already very un-Canadian.
Yeah, very un-Canadian.
And of course, you know,
we know you guys as very nice
polite sweet people
and that's what I thought
was going to happen
the cop was like
hey what happened
to your bumper
why is your bumper
falling off
and the cab driver
was like
oh I don't know
and he was kind of
mumbling through it
and I go hey officer
do you think we could
jump out of the cab
because we're late
for the radio
in my mind I'm thinking
polite nice request
and he goes
you shut the fuck up
he goes I'll shut the fuck up.
He goes, I'll fucking deal with you when I'm done.
And I was like, okay, they're just like us.
Not that much different.
So that was my first Toronto,
welcome to Toronto experience.
My first day in Toronto was that.
What was yours?
How turned on were you when you said that?
It was hot.
I was like, why don't you cuff me?
Why don't you arrest me, bad boy?
No, but finish the story.
And then what happened after that?
It kept going.
It did keep going.
Yeah, it kept going.
He kept berating.
He kept berating.
And I didn't help the situation.
And then because I was trying to reserve myself and get a little less.
I wanted to go down.
They go high.
You go low.
Do you know that?
It's like, don't get more mad.
But then.
What was your exact energy?
What was my energy? Yeah, when he said,
shut the fuck up.
And what did you do?
It was cool.
It was cool to hear it.
And I also kind of wanted to fight.
You know what I mean?
But what did you say?
What did you say?
I said, we're just trying
to get out of the cab.
That's what you said, right?
I said, we're just trying
to get out of the cab.
You said it like that?
Yeah, we're just trying
to get out of the cab.
Okay, and then what did he say?
And he said, well, then shut the...
He goes, when I'm fucking done with him,
then I'll deal with you.
And then you went... No, and I went like this. I said, oh my God, well, it shut the... He goes, when I'm fucking done with him, then I'll deal with you. And then you went...
No, when I went like this, I said,
oh, my God, well, fuck it.
I was going to be late to radio.
Like, what a pussy thing to say.
I'm going to be late to my radio appearance.
You know I do radio, sir.
And then you told me something else
after that.
It kept going.
Yeah, yeah, it kept going.
I got out of the car,
and we began to wrestle in the streets.
He removed his baton. I was able to wrangle it of the car, and we began to wrestle in the streets. He removed his baton.
I was able to wrangle it away from him,
and I beat a cop to death on Queen Street.
He's still there for the most part, I imagine.
What was yours, Ronnie?
Did you have one?
Did you have a good one that happened so far?
No, nothing.
Nothing exciting?
Nothing?
Nothing.
I met the people from Kim's Convenience.
That was great.
Oh, that's cool.
Oh, yeah, that's awesome.
I just had brunch with them
the super nice people
they are what you expect
Canadians to be
not that
not our cops
beating the fuck out of you
I had something similar
oh no please
no Canadian
like I dropped my sunglasses
on the street
and a team of people
came to my
to help me
literally like
four people
worked together
one was like
wait another one grabbed them someone like kissed my hand like it was really lovely and by the way
sit up on someone's shoulders right they picked you up and they paraded you around yeah like this
just like that yeah little less uh and by the way when we say like canadian well when i say
canadians are nice i don't even mean it in that american condescending like canadians are weak that's not what i mean yeah i mean they are nice
because i'm not american i got no horse in this race so you know i mean i'm not seeing this from
american eyes i'm seeing it from like asia and from australia and in canada i'm like yeah everyone
just chill they know how to have a good time but they know how to take care of each other like
there's a real you're saying we're very condescending
is what you're saying as Americans.
Yeah, America is condescending.
I feel like Canada
is what America should have been.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, that's true.
We all agree.
I think we agree.
It's what America should have been
but America just went too far
with the freedom.
You know what I mean?
No.
They adjusted the slider too far
on the...
Canada...
They were playing Madden
and they went all the way to like like, fucking, like, all pro.
And it should have just kept that, like, just all...
We should have been more even keeled,
is what you're trying to say.
Yeah, yeah.
More of a balance.
The first thing we did when we got here was go to the doctor.
We did.
I went to the doctor.
We did.
I had to go to the doctor.
I'm dead serious.
I had to go to urgent care.
Like, people here, you can just go smoke weed whenever you want.
You don't even need a card.
You just go in.
You show your card. People are like, what are you doing? We went to the weed store. I went to the weed store. Yeah. It was too long of a line. I was just like go to urgent care. People here, you can just go smoke weed whenever you want. You don't even need a card. You just go in. You show your card.
People are like, what are you doing?
We went to the weed store.
I went to the weed store.
Yeah.
It was too long of a line.
I was just like, I can't.
I went back to the doctor.
I just was like, I'd rather just go get drugs from him.
The doctor was so unbelievably nice.
He saw me as he was going on break.
Do you know how fucking insanely rare that would be?
He was like, I was about to go on break, but I just figured I'll take just one last guy.
I was like, that is so nice for no reason. In America, it's like, I'm about to go on break, but I just figured I'll take just one last guy. I was like, that is so nice for no reason.
In America, it's like, I'm on break.
Fuck off.
I'm just bleeding out of my eye.
He's like, who cares?
Also, I had the very first night, I had a man give me directions and walk me around.
Literally, walk me around.
If anybody came to my stand-up show, I talked about it.
It was the most shocking thing on earth.
He just walked me around. I was like, oh, where's a good place to eat, he walked me around, with no intention on, like, I'm not giving him money, there's not, and then at some
point, it was like, at the end of the, we're like, done here, and he was just standing there, and I
was like, oh, no, maybe this guy, maybe he was flirting, and thinks I'm interested, and I didn't
know how to put that signal out, I was like, I'm straight. I'm not interested.
I don't know if you're gay.
I don't know what, I don't know, you know.
But it got so awkward that I just, I blew him in the keg.
And I, yeah, I had to.
You know what I mean?
Bought him a filet and blew him.
Those are the breaks, baby.
He was Canadian.
He was.
Yeah, he was.
So maple syrup came out.
Yeah, maple syrup.
Yeah, yeah, he was. So maple syrup came out. Yeah, maple syrup, yeah.
Okay, I want to do this.
I didn't have that experience.
I want to do this.
I wrote some would you rathers in my phone
because I thought this would be fun
to hear both of your perspectives
because you're both dynamically different smart people.
So how about this?
Would you rather have the body of a refrigerator, okay?
So your body is a refrigerator, or roller skates
for feet?
Refrigerator. Why? Because
I'm so scared of being
like, you know I don't know how to ride a
bike or swim. It's embarrassing.
Yeah, so roller skates is not, I'd
rather, like, I've been
different shapes my whole life, you know
college was hard for me.
So I feel like I could figure out how to flatter a refrigerator body.
You think so?
Do you not?
I just, refrigerators are big.
I mean, I don't think Aritzia sells refrigerator clothes.
She loves Aritzia.
We went there two fucking times in one day.
Do you guys know what that is?
You know what Aritzia is?
It's a clothing store here.
It started here, right?
In Canada?
Did it, right?
Yeah.
It's so good.
We literally went to both of them.
There are two.
We went to them.
And she pretended like she didn't want to go in the second one.
I was like, oh, my God.
There's another one.
She's like, oh, my God.
There is.
I was like, you planned this.
This was quite obvious.
So what do you think, Ronnie?
What would you have?
Roller skates for feet?
Normally, I go roller skates for feet.
But I just feel like
TSA would give me too much trouble
going through the airport, and I fly a lot,
so I have to go with the fridge. You have to go with the fridge?
Yeah, fridge, just for
logistical purposes. Right, for life,
for lifestyle. I would do roller skates
for feet for sure, without a doubt.
I always want to show off, and
I'm sure I'd get a good
closer out of roller skates.
There's got to be something I can find
to do a couple of flips, a couple of spins.
Remember Terry? Remember when Nick Swartzen's
character from Reno 911?
How much did you love him because he was on
roller skates?
Just making jokes on skates just looks so sweet
to me. I just found out how much
Canadians love hockey.
They play a version of ice hockey
full pads, same stick
orange ball, but no
skates. With feet?
With feet and they run
and they wear pads in the summer.
What's it called? Ball hockey.
That's really silly.
It's so hot that the goalkeepers
have to call timeout sometimes
because they're just in the heat in full pad.
Why don't they just go inside?
I don't know.
I feel like that's the level of athlete I could score.
That's who I'm going to hook up with.
NBA, NFL, ball hockey.
Ball hockey.
Does anybody here play ball hockey?
Yeah, does anybody do that?
You do, sir.
You do in the front?
You play it?
Yeah. And it's always outside? Oh, does anybody do that? You do, sir You do in the front? You play it? Yeah
And it's always outside?
Oh, okay
But it's hot, right?
Like, you're
Because it's a summertime thing
Can play through winter
Is it because most people that play it can't skate?
But why can't
Why won't Why did you take off the skate?
Why didn't you wear rollerblades to play?
That was one of my...
Everybody can skate, but nobody can rollerblade.
Canada is a fascinating country.
Hi, I'm Esther.
Okay, how about this one How about this
Have to live the rest of your life
In an airport
Like that Tom Hanks movie
What was that fucking movie called
What was that called
Terminal
Terminal
You guys knew that way too quickly
Yeah
It was probably shot here
Have to live the rest of your life
In an airport
Like Tom Hanks
Or
Or
Live in Windsor, Canada
Local joke Local joke Do you guys know what Windsor is No tell us Windsor, Canada? Local joke.
Local joke.
Do you guys know what Windsor is?
No, tell us.
Windsor is their Detroit.
Oh.
Dave Mahedge is from Windsor.
Yes.
Dave Mahedge is from Windsor.
He's a cool guy.
So what would you rather do?
Airport for sure.
Airport for sure.
There's no doubt about it.
Come on, Esther.
It also depends on which airport, right?
There's airports and then there's airports.
Yeah, that's true.
Are we talking Singapore airport?
Are we talking fucking LaGuardia?
What's the worst global airport you've experienced?
The worst?
Yeah.
I mean, there's one in Australia
which is like a budget terminal for budget flights
and is basically a refugee holding cell.
Jesus.
There's no roof. It's a,
it's a,
it's,
it's,
there's no roof.
It's just a fence and the plane lands. Yeah.
They give you stairs to come down the plane.
But after that you are on your own.
You're like,
yeah,
there's no roof.
It's just a chain metal fence around it.
And then you,
Oh my God.
What's it called?
What's the airport called?
Uh,
it's the budget terminal at like,
Oh,
they call it,
but I thought you were referencing it as a budget.
No, no, no.
It's called the budget terminal.
That's fair.
Those two things should not go together.
I know.
They may have improved it after some people died
while trying to find the airport.
So they may have changed it a bit.
They may have put a roof on.
Because I lived there for like 10 years.
So I'm not talking my ass here.
Actually, we would fly to gigs and we'd be there
and we'd be like,
oh, I, we,
now I guess we're just in detention now.
You can't leave.
We get off the plane
and we're just in detention.
Sometimes people call me
Budget Whitney Cummings.
That's a good thing,
right?
Esther.
I would,
you're nowhere near her.
I would do,
I think I would choose
Windsor Because I
It sounds affordable
And
The airport food
Is too expensive
So I'd want to like
That's very smart
It is too
It is way too expensive
Do you ever
Do you guys ever eat
When you're traveling
On the road at the airport
Or no
Sometimes you just have to
See I avoid it
Like the fucking plague
I go out of my way
To make sure I don't
I'll starve without eating it
Because it's always garbage
They always have A bad food rating So in Canada way to make sure I don't. I'll starve without eating it because it's always garbage. They always have a bad food
rating. So in Canada, you guys have
pass or don't pass, right, for your food
rating? Okay, yeah. Is that
a health thing or is that? That's our health code. Okay, I hear you.
Pass or fail. That's good. I love that. Just pass or
fail. We have A, B, and
C, okay? We are
still allowed to operate with a
C.
That's, how many, raise your hand if you're a C student.
Raise your hand if you're a C student across the board.
Okay, you were a C student?
Yeah?
Okay.
Would you let you operate?
No.
You see what I'm saying?
It's like disgusting and ridiculous.
Okay, how about this one?
Fart every time someone asks you a question or throw up when someone says your name?
I already do both.
Esther, Esther, Esther, Esther, Esther. Fart when someone asks you a question or throw up when
someone says your name? I'd have to go, unfortunately, the first one because throwing up is so
scary. I'm scared of throwing up. I don't want to do that. But fart every time. Think about,
I know you're not single anymore, but if you're on a date,
it's all questions.
How would you ever
get in a relationship?
Like, you're sitting at dinner
and they're just like,
so where are you from?
You're like,
I'm from Windsor.
I don't know.
I just think,
I don't know.
I think I would do throw up.
What would you do, Ronnie?
I would vomit.
Yeah, you'd vomit
every time your name is called.
I feel like vomiting
for me feels more
on brand
than farting.
I feel like vomiting,
people would get it.
Do you have puke merch shirts
when you go on the road?
Yeah, I don't know.
I have like one or two
act outs in comedy
and one of them is vomiting.
Okay, good.
So I feel like it's very like,
yeah.
I can do that easily.
Honestly, that was really good.
That was very good.
Yeah.
You guys aren't going to clap for that?
That's very fucking rude.
He just gave you a piece,
you know?
I want to ask you
because I went to you.
What would you rather do?
Would you rather fart
every time someone asks you a question
or throw up
when someone says your name?
Right.
Mm-hmm.
Pick a nickname.
Smart loophole.
Smart loophole.
Yeah, not such a C student after all.
C student, yeah.
Very good.
But you could also avoid the fart thing by telling people,
you're like, don't ask me any questions, just tell me statements.
Right, some are significantly worse
yes you know that's exactly right that's exactly right not our thoughts not all farts are created
equal that's a very good point um and whenever i travel i have my diet is always so terrible and
it upends my normalcy so i've had ghost shits for the past three days do you guys know what you know
what ghost shits are right where you poop and wipe and there's nothing there
It's the most remarkable
You're like, how did it happen?
It's like as if it was just removed from your body
Put in the toilet
And then you're like
Your butt was like, I just woke up, what happened?
Did you guys go to the bathroom?
I wasn't here
So you refuse to eat shit at the airport
I do not
But as soon as you leave the airport
You eat tons of shit
No no no
I'm just saying
It's not my normal diet
My schedule's always off
I eat at wrong hours
Right
I still try to eat
As healthy as I can
Yeah
But it's just always like
You know
Breakfast is at the wrong time
Dinner is ridiculous
Like it just never
When you're at festivals
You're traveling for comedy
It's like you know
You just
Sometimes you're just at
The subject to what they've got
And what you have timing-wise.
It just sucks.
You have to,
this is a great city for food,
thank God,
thank God,
because we have to go to places
where we're like,
what's good to eat?
And they're like,
we have a Burger King.
And you're like,
okay, but do you have food?
Burger King,
what a luxury.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm a little high class.
I'm sorry, yeah.
What's the worst city for food that you've been to?
I was once, well, where I went to college in like Southern Illinois, I once asked, is
there a Jewish deli around?
And someone said, there's a subway.
And I was like, I'm fucking dropping out.
I'm dropping out.
Which school was that?
University of Illinois in Champaign.
Champaign, baby.
U of I.
A great school.
You went to school in Australia.
Yes.
Did you move there for college?
Yeah, yeah.
I moved there for university.
Okay, wonderful.
University.
That's how we say it.
Oh, yeah.
You guys do too.
That's right.
We say college.
Because we're...
Trash.
Oh.
See students.
I went to a school called Arizona State University.
Unequivocally the most
Trash school on earth
For sure
I just went to Tempe
Arizona
Last weekend I was in Tempe
But sorry continue
No no no
Tell me all about it
Because it's a tough place
No someone
Someone told me that
It's the all time party school
Like every weekend
It's just
I think it was for a long time
Because of the weather
Yeah
Florida State
Kind of same thing
Bert Kreischer Where where he went.
Bert went to school for, you guys know, for 30 years.
He's still there.
He's going to finish soon.
You guys do know the movie Van Wilder was based on Bert.
You know that, right?
What?
You guys don't know that?
I didn't know that.
What?
Two comics on that?
Yeah.
Bert's story was bought by Rolling Stone.
Am I wrong?
Is it Rolling Stone? Yes, I'm getting nods. And fucking, that's what made Van Wilder on it? Yeah. Bert's story was bought by Rolling Stone. Am I wrong? Is it Rolling Stone?
Yes, I'm getting nods.
And fucking that's what made Van Wilder.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that like funny, goofy Ryan Reynolds,
I'm in college too long.
That's a real human that we're friends with.
Wow.
That's like the weirdest.
Like every time I see that,
I'm like, this is so strange that this is real,
that I know that man.
Dude, completely miscast.
Yes.
Yes.
that I know that man.
Dude, completely miscast.
Yes.
Oh my God.
What, they couldn't find a fat white dude?
Yeah, how?
There's so many.
There's so many.
Well, he just got,
he just,
Bert just sold a show
based on the machine story.
Do you know that machine story?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he was,
he was like doing the Bert thing
on the internet, fishing for famous
people. He was like, who could play me?
And everyone that said
yes, of course, every comic was like,
this guy's good looking, Bert.
You gotta get someone right in your lane.
I don't know who could play...
Who would play you in your movie?
Whitney Cummings?
But if it was
going to actually get made?
Dave Grohl see now we're there
Ronnie who would play
who would play you
there's only like
three options
so
who are they
name the Asians in comedy
you know there's like three
Bobby Lee
could be a dramatic actor
Awkwafina
Awkwafina
play me
yeah
dramatic actor
yeah could be a dramatic actor Daniel Dae Kim yeahafina. Awkwafina. Dramatic actor. Yeah, could be a dramatic actor.
Daniel Dae Kim.
Yeah, Daniel Dae Kim.
Yeah, let's get...
Actually, to be honest,
Simu.
Simu's the best.
Yeah, that guy's the best.
I love him.
Seems like there's more options
than you've led us to believe.
Yeah, but really,
I probably want to
just play myself like guys.
Yeah, you'd want to
play yourself.
I'm trying to, yeah.
I think Scarlett Johansson
would be really good at you.
Scarlett Johansson would be cool, yeah.
Yeah, Scarlett Johansson. Who's me? Who's me, Johansson would be cool, yeah. Yeah, Scarlett Johansson.
Who's me? Who's me, Esther?
Who would play me in a movie?
Oh, don't make like an ugly face.
That's so rude.
No, I'm just thinking like Brad Pitt.
Carrot Top.
Who said Carrot Top?
Who said it? Raise your hand.
Who said Carrot Top?
Raise your hand. Who said it?
Raise your hand. Remove him.
Yo, someone said Ed Sheeran. That's pretty good.
Yeah, Ed Sheeran could play me.
He's got a phenomenal voice
and a very terrible face, but he could play me.
Do women find him attractive?
Do women find him attractive, genuinely?
No? Kind of? You say kind of?
Andrew. Yeah.
Yeah, they do?
No, as in he's got a beautiful voice
and a terrible face.
Yes, but physically.
That's correct.
That's what it should be.
Okay, you're right.
Fine.
I'm Ed Sheeran.
What did you say?
What did he say?
Louis C.K.
Louis C.K.
Yeah, yeah.
Sure.
Sure.
Let me talk.
Hold on.
You know what?
This is crazy.
I got, I shouldn't say this, but I don't care.
My agent sent me an audition to go out for this role.
And I'm not going to say who ended up doing it because it's fucking funny.
I'll tell you guys offline.
But it's, I'm sorry.
I can't.
But they sent me a roll. In the description, it says, comedian who ends up sexually assaulting a peer,
preferably redheaded.
I called my agents.
I was like, you want me to go out for this?
What the fuck?
I was like, this is such a bad idea.
They were like, oh, we didn't really.
We thought it was, you thought maybe you'd think it's funny. He's like, this is such a bad idea. They were like, oh, we didn't really, we thought it was,
you thought maybe
you'd think it's funny.
He's like,
you're fired.
You're absolutely fired.
It's so,
that's so fucked up.
Like,
but I got sent roles
for years.
But you ended up
auditioning for it,
right?
I got the part.
Coming out in March.
But I do,
I want to hear you guys'
experience on this.
Me too,
the movie.
Yeah,
me,
yeah,
me too,
the movie. I used to get you guys' experience on this. Me too, the movie. Yeah, me too, the movie.
I used to get parts.
Auditions for me used to be like, not get parts, get auditions for like,
it would always be like me, Ian Edwards, and like a blind kid.
It was always like, I was always thrown into this like they don't know what to do.
The redheaded guy was never, it's always been that way for us.
They're like, you're weird looking, we don't know where to place you like I've said
this before no one ever wrote a script
that's like the handsome boyfriend walked in with
flowing red hair no one's ever
no one's ever done that it's always like
you know the redhead put his penis in the thing
and everybody
laughed you know
I get I get sent I get I used to get sent the fucking
worst did you ever get those when you're like
think of me I used to go out the fucking worst. Did you ever get those? What did they think of me? I used to go out often for roles
where the description was
could be female or male.
We'll take anything.
Wow.
Yeah, no.
Similar to you.
Like, I'm not...
Like, they don't write, like,
the beautiful girl is, like,
five foot, half Jewish, half regular.
Like, that's not really the thing. A few foot half Jewish half regular like that's not really
the thing
a few people caught
the half regular part
they do
yeah they do though
they do
you don't think
you're an archetype
I don't go
I didn't really audition
that much
I'll just say that
ooh offer
offers
ooh
no no
I meant it in a bad way
they just give it to me
no no no
I meant it in a bad way
like there's not a lot for me
but you're on a wonderful show right now, there's not a lot for me.
But you're on a wonderful show right now.
Yeah, that's true.
And Ronnie, did you have to do... Were you put out for bullshit?
Did you have to go out for a lot of stupid stuff?
You know, I...
This is too sincere for this podcast,
but I don't...
Any audition, I just do it
because I feel like I need to practice.
That's smart.
So anything that's BS or whatever,
I just do it anyway.
So one thing
I don't even know
if I can talk about this
you can talk about anything
okay so
I'll try not to say names
so that we all
don't get sued
so I don't get sued
but there was a movie
that involved
a big dog
and in the movie
the main antagonist is a genetic CEO,
genetic scientist of this huge company.
And he's trying to solve the food shortage.
And his thing was he's growing corn, he's growing sheep,
and it's all getting fucked up.
The sheep have two heads instead of being bigger. They're like, oh, now we have more mouths to feed. like you know corn he's growing like sheep and it's all getting fucked up like the sheep
have two heads
instead of being bigger
they're like
oh now we have
more mouths to feed
and you know
and he keeps
fucking up
and then suddenly
this big dog
appears
and he doesn't know
how this dog
appears
and he goes like
yo this dog
is huge
and then I had
to go out
for this role
and I was like
guys I can't
I'm gonna do it
because I need to practice.
But I cannot do this role where an Asian guy is seen looking at a big dog as food.
I know it wasn't written like that.
And they were trying to do an open casting.
But just by the quirk of society and culture and just the way things work.
I was like, if I get offered it, I can't do it.
I'm going to do it for practice,
but I cannot be seen
as the Asian dude
trying to eat a big dog.
Do you know I played
the part of the dog?
I did that role.
Oh, you did it?
Yeah, that was me.
I was the big red dog.
Are you being serious right now?
I can't tell.
No, no, no.
Okay, cool.
He beat me for the role.
Right.
I'm a little sad that face. He beat me for the role and it really I'm a little sad that face.
He beat me for the role
and it really
fucked me up.
Speaking of dogs here,
let me give you this one.
Would you rather
kill ten people
or one puppy?
Ten people.
So fast.
So fast.
Why did you go
straight to this one
after the dog thing?
Well, that's why.
It was a good segue.
Good segue?
Would you rather
kill ten people
or a puppy?
Oh, fuck.
Ten people, dude. You're going to kill ten people. You didn't even think about it. kill 10 people or a puppy? Oh, fuck. 10 people, dude.
You're going to kill 10 people.
You didn't even think about it.
I can't kill a puppy.
That's like the stuff Hitler did.
Esther.
Hitler killed humans.
How do you not know this?
Are you really going to kill a puppy?
Ten humans?
Think of how nice and sweet this girl was.
Do you remember how cool she's been the whole fucking time?
You have to kill her.
You're going to kill her?
Look at her.
Look at her right now.
No, look at her.
You're going to kill her.
I don't want to look at my victim.
What's that?
You have to make eye contact. Yeah, you have to make eye contact while you do it. That's that? She wants... Yeah, you have to
make eye contact
while you do it.
That's a weird request.
You have to make
eye contact
away from me
or get off
before you kill me.
You gotta kill me
immediately after I come.
Not one second
of shame I want.
Esther,
you would seriously
quickly kill
10 human beings?
Oh my god,
what is this show?
It's fun.
I'm trying to get canceled.
What can you...
I want to hear you guys talk about killing a puppy.
I cannot, as I said before, as an Asian guy,
I cannot be seen harming dogs.
It's terrible for stereotypes.
So because of that, I'm just going to have to...
I'm going to have to kill this puppy but not eat it.
That's what's going to happen. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to kill this puppy but not eat it. That's what's going to happen.
Unfortunately, I'm going to have to waste food in this instance.
Yeah.
That's a bummer.
You can always give it to somebody else.
Yeah.
Family and friends.
Yeah.
I would kill a puppy.
I hate to say that.
I would kill a puppy.
Here's why.
Because there are certain breeds that I'm like, get rid of it.
Stop it.
You've seen some dogs where you're like, oh, fuck.
Oh, gross.
Yeah, some of these are mistakes.
Yeah, some of them.
Yeah, they overbred.
When they're like, my dog is a mutt.
She's like 50,000 things.
And we got her tested.
And they send you back all the things she is.
You're 23 to meet your dog?
I did.
I did.
That's awesome.
I did that too. You see that I'm a white guy, right? I like all the things she is. You're 23 to meet your dog? I did, I did. Oh, that's awesome. I did that too.
You see that I'm a white guy, right?
I do all the things.
You guys.
I live in the suburbs.
You guys are bored.
What can we do today?
Let's get your DNA done.
Then we bought candles.
Yeah, it's a mutt,
but they say like they're healthier
when they're tons of breeds, right?
But then you see some
that are too many, and you're like,
they just went too far. They did the
thing, the role that you were going to play.
They went too far. The scientists, they do too much.
They went over the deep end, you know?
So I think I would unfortunately have to kill a puppy.
What if it was your own puppy, though?
You couldn't kill your own baby.
To make that comparison, then we would say you'd have to kill your own dog
or ten of your own family members. That still
is easy.
How about this? Kill your dog, kill your husband.
Well, I don't have
a husband, so... Stop it. Kill your dog,
kill the person that you're in love with.
Wow. You guys!
Kill the dog. No, don't do it. It's not them.
My dog is my child.
So kill your kid.
Kill your lover.
Statistically, I'm more likely to kill my lover.
So I'll just go with the statistics.
Go with math.
That sounds right.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
What would you do?
Would you kill your wife or kill your dog?
Dog for sure.
Are you kidding me?
Yeah.
What the fuck?
Yeah. Dude, fuck? Yeah.
Dude, I said dog from the puppy.
I was already in with the dog.
You're trying to make it
for nothing,
dog or whatever.
I'd still kill the dog.
Still kill the dog.
Even if there was no other option,
I'd still kill the dog.
How about that?
I would kill both
and run away
and start a new life.
Let's get in.
Would you guys rather eat glass for every meal or concrete?
What the fuck?
I'll go with glass because I've seen people do it, so I think it's okay.
That's what I said.
That's what I think.
Yeah, concrete just feels very heavy.
But my friend Joe said...
Also, I'm keto right now.
I don't know if concrete...
Yeah.
No, keto is on it.
Keto is on it.
Concrete is on the keto diet.
You can have it.
Okay, but glass just feels lighter. Like, concrete feels very diet. You can have it. But glass just feels lighter.
Concrete feels very heavy.
You feel like it's not going to weigh you down during the day.
You're still going to be able to go exercise.
Oh, this glass filled me up.
What would you do, Esther? Concrete?
I was having a nice day before this.
I guess glass seems like
it'll go down smoother.
So, glass.
You?
You think so?
Do you not?
Did you test this?
I did.
I ate both this morning.
Concrete is delicious.
Maybe it's Canadian concrete.
It was so good.
All that construction up there, I just kept eating it.
What gives you more ghost thoughts, glass or concrete?
Neither.
Food, usually.
Yeah, those things just settle really well.
But I shit a building this morning.
They're building it right up the street.
That is my last.
I promise that's my last one.
Thank God.
Okay, no more of those.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, I'm sorry that that was so hard for you guys to do
and so arduous.
I want to poke around at a few things.
We'll get to you later,
Esther.
I want to ask you genuinely, was the Daily Show
something that you really
strived to do? Because a lot of people get the show
and it's not like the thing that they were
striving to do, but it just kind of
happened. Name some names.
I'm not going to say anything anything who the fuck didn't want it
I think you know
we both know
yeah so
the
like
you
I didn't aspire to it
specifically
in the sense of
ever think I had a chance
but I did watch it in college
just like everyone did
when the internet first
came out
in 2005
no when videos
started being a thing
on the internet more
right YouTube was like YouTube came out in 2005 and clips were being shared 2005. No, when videos started being a thing on the internet more, right?
YouTube came out in 2005
and clips were being shared
more of the daily show
and that's how we used to get it.
You know, bootleg on YouTube.
And we're like,
oh, this is really amazing.
And we always,
if you're a comedian,
you kind of aspire to
that kind of show,
that kind of pedigree.
But the only reason
I wasn't specific about it
was because
I never thought I had the shot anyway
and I wasn't in America
and you know
forget the whole Asian thing
already
but the whole like
why would they have
a non-American on this thing
you know
so I never really
aspired to it
but when they hired me
I was like fuck yeah
I was you know
I totally bought into it
and I'm there
that's awesome
so no but not because
I didn't respect or love it
but only because
I thought I had no chance
so it wasn't anything
I really see this as
it's incredible to think
that like
we do that often
comics do that
you're like
oh there's no way
I'll be able to get that thing
and then sometimes
you get things
and you're like
oh why did I just
throw myself into the fire
for no reason
have some confidence
you know what I mean
like Esther often makes jokes
is why I love you
that are self deprecatory
but like truth be told
you are a pretty girl
and you are a wonderful person.
So, you know, you're cast in a fucking very big,
will be a big show, in my personal opinion,
with super big names, talented people, right?
Did you have that same fucking comedian notion
where you're like, there's no way they're going to give me this thing?
A little bit.
I mean, I read, when I first read the role
and saw that it was another
half-Jewish
loser desperate to fit in,
I was like, I got this.
But
based on the other cast members,
Kat Dennings, Brenda Song,
Shay Mitchell, they're all such superstars.
I was like, I don't fit in here.
It's wild. Are you fourth on the call sheet?
Yes.
Do you guys know what that means? Yes. Yeah. As I should.
Do you guys know what that means?
Yeah, she's below those people in so many ways.
I'm very comfortable below them.
God, I wonder how much more they get paid than you.
Do you know what I mean?
How can you casually do that?
Brenda, you're eating lunch.
You're like, oh, God, this is such a good job.
We get paid so well.
What do you get paid?
No, I actually know.
Did you ask? No, I actually know.
Did you ask?
No.
Esther.
Guys.
Esther.
No.
Everything's fine.
Ronnie, so when you graduated university.
I get paid a lot.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah, yeah, sorry.
Yeah.
Looks like everyone's got money up here. Except for me. do need these tickets so thank you for buying them that is very nice um no when you graduated you want to stay in
australia or was it the goal was to end up going to the states uh when i graduated i started doing
comedy immediately i couldn't get a job so i was just doing comedy in australia yeah and i was
doing comedy australia for about 10 years and then I wanted to come to America.
So the goal was always to get to the States?
Kind of, but not when I started.
Just halfway through,
it's kind of like,
oh, I should probably try to go to America.
All my comedy heroes from America,
you know, like,
there's real creative energy there.
It's a bigger market.
They seem to be making things
at a higher level there.
So I really want to come.
And I was going to move to America anyway
without anything.
And now I laugh at the idea that I was going to move to America anyway without anything and now I laugh at the idea
that I was going to do that
because it would have
been so hard
like even with
the show
it's
it's hard
like comedy's hard man
comedy's hard to break into
it's hard to do stuff
so without
something like
The Daily Show
that really let me
you know
got my foot in the door
with people
just so I could at least
have a chance to
prove myself. Without that
it would be a long slog because
the comedy hierarchy in America, they don't
care what you did outside America. It means zero.
They don't know. You could be Eddie Izzard.
They don't care. It doesn't matter.
There's the weird subsects of comedy.
Russell Peters is so
famous here. He is extremely
famous. He sells out fucking arenas around the world.
Worldwide, yeah.
Yeah, around the world.
But in the States, it's just not the same thing.
Not to say that he's not famous, but it's just not the same.
It's weird.
Because here, he sold out the Air Canada Center, right?
Didn't he?
Is that what it was?
Wow.
And multiple times.
Fucking arena.
Do, I mean, I don't know how to say this without sounding insulting,
but do white people go watch him too? Okay, cool. Okay, cool. Do, I mean, I don't know how to say this without sounding insulting, but do like white
people go watch him too?
Okay, cool. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just a genuine question.
Put down your tiki torches.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Get him! Get the Asian!
You can't ask us that stuff!
I'm happy that that's the case.
But you're right.
Who's mostly your fan base? When people come out to shows, who do you think is your fan base? I don't know. But you're right. Yeah, you're right. It is. Well, who's mostly your fan base?
When people come out to shows,
who do you think is your fan base?
I don't know.
A bunch of people.
I think my fans are too much like me.
We don't care about each other.
Do you think you have a lot of diversity in your fans?
No.
By eyeballing,
without any hard analytics on this,
the city needs to have a large Asian population
for me to do great.
But when I do my shows, it's like 30% Asians.
In a good way.
Right.
I like that.
As if it would be bad.
Yeah.
Meaning like I like to play.
I don't want to just perform for one type of crowd.
You can just say white people.
You can say white people.
No.
I don't want to just perform for Asians either.
I don't want to perform for any one group.
I don't want to be just like one group.
I hope that it can translate to everybody.
And is it men and women?
Yeah, I think so.
I think men and women.
Are you mostly women?
My audience is all short girls and pedophiles.
They fit together so well.
Can I be honest with you?
There is one here.
There's a couple of pedos in the audience.
You know who you are.
Wait, why do you know that?
Okay, cool.
Because we're on the same list
we have to register together
no but
this is something
very relevant
because the other day
we were walking
the streets together
Esther and I walked
fucking 8 miles
8 fucking miles
we went to the
what was it called
the Kensington market
that's very un-American
and very un-Los Angeles
yes dude
that's why we're bragging
about it. In New York, you walk like 30
miles a day. We walked 8 miles.
Also, in LA,
I love how they have to... It's so
American. You have to get... When you get
an Uber or Lyft, it's door
to door. I don't care if
there's a traffic jam in that last block
that you could just walk in
10 seconds,
you fucking get me from the door and you drop me off at the fucking door.
That's right.
Yeah.
That's right.
Even the drivers won't let you get.
I'm like, yo, can you just pull up here?
I'll walk one block.
And they're like, no.
No.
I'm going to drive you through this traffic jam.
Well, some people like to finish what they started, Ronnie.
Okay.
That's just, you just want to go all the way.
I'm sorry.
You're saying that you walked eight miles.
No, we walked eight miles.
And Esther, that someone had, you know, like a fan that you walked eight miles. No, we walked eight miles, and Esther,
someone had, you know, like a fan had said hi to me.
A fan had said hi to her.
And at some point she goes,
our fans are very, very different.
And I was like, yes, yes they are.
Because my fans are like, bro, Santino, what up?
And then her fan is like a very meek little girl
who like scampered across the street and was like,
oh my God,
I'm such a fan of you.
Esther,
you mean the world to me.
And you,
right now,
in this very podcast,
we brought both of them
in the same room together.
That's exactly right.
They're here somewhere.
That's exactly right.
They're sitting right next
to the pedophile.
The bros and the girls.
The bros and the,
no, no,
I don't think I have,
I just have some bros.
I don't have all bros.
This is a very mixed, fun crowd of human beings that came out to see the show. The bros. No, I don't think I have. I just have some bros. I don't have all bros. This is a very mixed,
fun crowd of human beings
that came out to see the show.
I mean,
but sometimes you do.
Love credits left on that.
A lot of credits left, baby.
A lot of credits left.
They're going to spend
these credits.
Credits are going to spend themselves.
Woo!
Credits.
Hey, I got to tell you.
There was a podcast in here before
and they had 12 people,
so we fucked them up.
Okay?
How about that?
Oh, shit.
12 people.
Yeah.
We'll punk?
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
No.
I don't know.
It was an in-conversation.
With Ronnie Chang?
All right.
It was Ronnie Chang.
It was your show.
That's right.
It was your show.
Yeah.
I forgot about that.
Yeah.
No, yeah.
But you can't...
Somebody told me this.
You can't pick your fans.
So it's like, you don't want all the fans.
You want the right fans.
I believe that.
Yeah. That matters, right? Because sometimes people have all the fans so it's like you don't want all the fans you want the right fans i believe that yeah that matters right because sometimes people have all the fans and it's uh you know you can't
really control who gloms on to you you know what i mean you gotta be careful and i also feel like
in pursuit of all the fans you're gonna make a lot of garbage i think yeah at least you're gonna
make stuff that isn't authentic if as in if you're trying to pursue all the fans you're trying to get
all the fans not just the right fans.
I think you're
going to just make stuff.
Is there one comedian
that you can think of
that has like
the right group of fans
that it like worked out
where they like
cultivated it the right way?
Oh yeah.
Who do you think?
Who do you think?
Everyone
like
very clearly
Joe Rogan
clearly has his own
Yeah but he has
all the fans.
Well
not all I think he's a large group It's a large group but it's very very clearly, Joe Rogan, clearly has his own. Yeah, but he has all the fans. Well,
not all.
I think he's a large group. It's a large group,
but it's very...
Because I open arenas for him.
They all look like him.
A lot of them do look like him.
Yeah.
And it's a requirement
when you go to the shows.
Yeah, you got to get a tats.
Yo, I started...
They tat you up.
When you do a live podcast,
there's a tattoo artist going...
Can you not do that right now?
We're podcasting.
I started doing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
last November.
Did you really?
Yeah, and everyone is like,
you're Rogan, you're Rogan.
It is.
I mean, it is his thing.
And I love what he does.
I'm just saying that.
That's a guy who...
He's the embodiment of that.
Yeah, a lot of comics
have started to get into martial arts.
You, Esther,
big makes martial artists.
I don't know if you guys know,
her ground game is fucking absurd.
Would you ever do anything like that?
Maybe.
I don't know.
I'm so lazy, though.
It's hard to exercise.
You're not that lazy.
I like walking.
I love to walk.
We walked.
And that's, to me, a workout.
And some people say that's not a workout.
Have you ever owned a gym membership?
I've never owned a gym. That. Have you ever owned a gym membership? I've never owned a gym.
That's something you rent, a gym membership.
You don't buy those outright, but...
For those listening at home,
Andrew is extremely pissed off right now.
His face is...
Hey, they can feel it.
I used to work at Equinox,
and I would work out at Equinox
when I worked there.
You did?
When did you work?
In LA?
Yeah,
the one in West Hollywood.
You did?
Yeah,
back in the day.
That's the most obnoxious one.
It's horrible.
Yeah.
Wow.
Do you guys know what that is?
Do you guys have Equinox up here?
Ugh.
You don't?
Some of you say no.
Equinox is an extremely,
what's that?
That's one.
What is Yorkville?
Oh,
is that a town close?
Oh,
a Richie area.
Ooh,
what a Canadian,
a nice way to say wealthy people.
A Richie area.
Are you a Richie?
Yeah.
For those that don't know,
it's a very high-end gym.
I think the membership's like...
$175, I think, or something.
Minimum, right?
And it goes up from there, doesn't it?
Because I feel like other ones
are in the $200 and something.
Yeah, yeah.
If you want access to all of them,
it's like $250.
Ronnie, put away your wallet.
What does an average gym membership cost here?
What would it cost here?
$40.
Right, okay.
You have some for $10.
Yeah, but those give you tetanus, right?
Those gyms.
Yeah.
You get what you pay for.
$10 a month in a gym.
You're going to walk out with every single Staph infection And tetanus
You have to bring
Your own weights
Yeah
What is the gym
That's $10
What is it really called
Is there one
What is it called
We have those
Fit for less
Yes
Appropriate title
They're what
They're inside
Of grocery stores
Are you serious
That's just rude
Wow
That is so rude It's the Are you serious? That's just rude. Wow. That is so rude.
It's the Costco of working out.
That's amazing.
$10 a month.
Yeah, that seems like obnoxiously cheap for somebody.
There's no way they're profiting off that.
What's that?
It's not a bad gym.
You go.
Get him!
Is it clean?
It's okay Get the fuck out and shower
Oh Jesus
Decontaminate
No no go home
Run home and fucking
Set yourself on fire
Wow
Jesus
This guy goes to this gym
I know but he's
He's gonna leave here
And just be like
Those guys are assholes No but good for you For going to this gym I know but he's he's saying this he's gonna leave here and just be like those guys are assholes
no but good for you
for going to the gym man
and $10 a month
like
it's so little
that you would
just keep it forever
you wouldn't need to cancel it
right
so you would
buy the membership
oh come on
that's renting
do you
stop it
do you
I just realized this recently
my credit card sent me a
my credit card sent me a...
My credit card sent me one of these things.
If you've ever had this,
they tell you all the things
that you're getting monthly subscriptions to.
Have you ever had that?
And they say what you're not using anymore.
It will fuck you up.
I was grossed out about how many things I was just...
Wow.
I subscribed because I was thinking about $10 a month.
When you do something so little sometimes,
like Apple,
these pieces of shit human beings...
That you love.
That you love and continue to use
i can't but they're like oh you want more space 299 and you're like ah whatever and you just don't
think about it but my credit card had 15 monthly payment things that i just some i just didn't
even think about like so many things well part of that is also we live in the you know rental
era world just with stuff so it's not all bad
like I mean
what were you
what the fuck were you
I mean it was
it was like
it was like
you know like
every time like
Hulu
the phone
Pornhub premium
too easy
wait you pay for Pornhub
the fuck
I'm the one
who does
raise your hand if you've ever paid for pornography
be very honest
please
sir you have
on the internet
you have
and why did you pay when it is free
it was not
it was not worth it
can we talk to the woman next to you?
Is that someone that's with you?
Yes
What is your relationship?
Over?
What is your relationship?
We're dating
Are you aware of this
or is this new news to you?
Oh shit We're dating. Okay. Are you aware of this or is this new news to you? Oh, shit.
Did you hear like the cadence was perfect?
She goes,
this is my first time hearing about it.
Yes.
I am not happy.
I am not happy.
We will chat on the way home.
I'm sorry, man.
I'm sorry.
Leave that alone, man.
I know what that energy is. I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm sorry, ma'am. that alone man I know what that energy is
I'm sorry ma'am
I'm sorry ma'am
both of you guys
you're done
that's it
is anybody single?
there are two new single people
in the audience
but no
I just end up paying
for so much stupid stuff
and then the credit card company
does this
so they want you to go through
and stop paying for shit
that you don't need anymore
and I was like
that's a really cool
thing to do
well corporations
doing a nice thing
for you to save money for the first time ever
because usually
they're just like
fuck him
he's paying
who cares
you know what I mean
make you subscribe
to more
what credit card is it
I don't know
American Express
it's a nice one
it's a good benefit
it gets me into
those sex dungeon clubs
that I've seen you at
actually
have you ever been invited to one of those creepy Hollywood things that like is only like talked I've seen you at Actually Have you ever been invited
To one of those
Creepy Hollywood things
That like is only
Like talked about
And then you actually go
And you're like
Oh my god this happens
No I'm super square man
I'm like the squarest dude
I've done weed
Like twice in my life
You smoked it
Yeah
Whatever yeah
So I did it clearly
Yeah I've done it twice
I have weed
What are you gonna do with it
I'm doing it
I'm doing it right now
I grew up in Singapore man
it was super like
oh you go to prison
for weed in Singapore
no you get put to death
shut up
yeah yeah
it's capital
capital punishment
for any drugs right
any drug above a certain amount
and it's not a lot
it's like you know
I'm talking ounces
you get
yeah
you go to jail for sure
but then
if it's above a certain amount
you get put to death
if you have a gun
you get put to death if you have bullets you get put to death. If you have a gun, you get put to death.
If you have bullets,
you get put to death.
If you're dead,
they put you to death.
They bring you back to life
and put you to death?
Yeah.
That's pretty cool though.
It's capital punishment for dying.
You just wake up,
you're like,
oh my God.
They're like,
goodbye.
No.
That's really wild.
That was a big influence
in your life?
Yeah,
we just did it in high school.
I don't know what Euphoria,
you watch that
TV show
on HBO
euphoria
scared the shit out of me
I'm like what the fuck
are these kids doing now
it's like the most
dramatic shit
anyway so my
my child was like
we would
no
there's none
of that stuff
what about booze
I mean yeah
but I don't know
maybe I just
my dad gave me a beer
when I was 12 once
and then I had one sip
I was like this tastes like shit and I didn't drink for like until gave me a beer when I was 12 once, and then I had one sip. I was like, this tastes like shit.
And I didn't drink until I was 25.
Did he give you a shit beer?
I think he did, yeah.
He's like, it tastes like shit.
He's like, I pooped in there.
I pooped in that beer.
Dad, weird move.
So no drugs.
Never ever.
Wow, that's wild.
The capital punishment thing is just fucking crazy to me.
Kill for a little bit of drugs.
Yeah, if you go to Singapore, which I think you will,
you have the face of someone who's going to do some shows there soon.
Can you see this face on a poster on the street?
Yeah, yeah.
I feel like you're going to go to Southeast Asia and do some running shows.
That's the maybe.
I'm not sure, but you for sure.
Do you have a derogatory term for white?
Of course.
What is it?
What would you call me?
I'm not going to tell you.
Please, please. No, I can't get canceled on this thing you know okay okay you're right so so um but you're gonna go and when you go just make sure you don't don't do any of that stuff don't do
that it's not worth it yeah yeah no i sound like a goddamn you're my dad ronald reagan uh anti-drug
ronnie reagan everybody I was actually named after him.
Shut up.
Were you really? Yeah, my parents named me after Ronald Reagan.
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
Were you named after something, Esther?
My dead grandma.
It's a Jewish thing.
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay, Ronnie.
Yeah.
Let me just move right off of that.
Yeah.
It's a Jewish thing to name you always after your grandmother?
No.
it's a dead you're dead
it's a Jewish thing
to name you always
after your grandmother
no you're
in the Jewish tradition
you name
the baby
after someone
who died
this makes sense right
raise your hand
if you're Jewish
is anybody Jewish
is this
oh is this very frequent sir
is there any
Jewish people
named Jesus
yeah
but he died
and there's another
so there should be
somebody else
to take this place
right one in one out
type of thing
you know we talked
Esther and I
talked pretty heavily
for the Jewish people
in the room
the one thing
that we were talking about
that I loved
was we said
I grew up as a
fucking Catholic
weirdo
and we would
look at the dead
so if you've ever
knew open casket
it's fucking gross.
I refuse to go
to a lot of funerals
and I got a lot of flack
from my family
because I'm like,
I'm not looking at a dead person.
That's the weird,
I want to remember them happy
and she was like,
in Jewish funerals,
you don't.
We don't fucking do that.
Yeah.
That's weird.
I love that shit.
Yeah, Jews, good go.
That's very smart.
I don't know why
we want to look at them.
It's the weirdest fucking thing
to walk up.
What do you even say?
You know, it's like,
it's so uncomfortable and I didn't cry
the first time I went to an open casket I didn't cry
and a family member
my aunt was like are you okay
and I was like yeah and she's like
why are you not getting emotional
I'm like I just didn't really even like her that much
she was mean to me
she hit me with spoons
You know what I mean
Wow
Yeah but I don't like
Looking at
I was like
That's hooray
For the fucking
For the afterlife
Do you guys have
Do you have something
Where you
Do you look at fucking
Do you guys look at the dad
Uh
Yeah
You do
You will look at the dad
It's not like mandatory
But it's there
And then the wake
As far as Chinese
Singaporeans go
The wake
Which is very It's very Chinese, but not like,
it's slightly different.
Yeah.
But the wake will be like, I think it's like three days and nights.
You have to, someone has to be there.
Day and night.
Oh, really?
24 hours?
Yeah.
Someone takes a night shift.
Is it like respect for the dead type of thing?
Yeah, it's a respect thing.
Wow.
So the wake will be, yeah, someone will take the night shift.
Or if you're hardcore
you just go the whole way
that's really awesome
sit around and
yeah
sit around and like
semi relaxed
like there's food
and drinks
you don't have to all be
you know
but it's a respectful tradition
yeah
that's fucking wonderful
my buddy died
and they had Jimmy Johns
at his funeral
and I was like
this is kind of tight
I'm not going to lie
This is very cool
Did he die of a heart attack?
He worked at Jimmy Johns
That's why they did that
Yeah
Okay we don't have
A ton of time left
Which kind of sucks
Thank God
I know
Trying to get out of this
So I can't find it
Yeah yeah yeah
But here's what I like to do
At the end of these
Because I know we had to go quick
And we couldn't
This I should
I shouldn't make fun of the venue
But we're not allowed To have any of this I couldn't, I shouldn't make fun of the venue,
but we're not allowed to have any of this.
I couldn't pour any for myself for any of the whiskey listeners.
It's illegal.
Yeah, they can't.
And I don't want to.
Does anybody here have RSA license?
There's a responsible service?
Yeah, no.
Smart serve.
Does anyone have a license?
Smart serve.
Can pour this?
Yeah, that guy can pour it.
It's the same guy who buys porn.
Oh, no, sorry. Someone else. Sorry.
That's the guy behind him.
But I bet you that guy buys porn, too.
Have you ever bought porn, sir?
That's a yeah.
We all pay for it
in one way or another, right?
I mean, relationships
have shattered.
Okay, so we have a couple of minutes so I
just want to do this raise your hand politely
if you want to ask a question to any of
the panelists here if you want to
say something we'll answer it don't yell out over people it's rude
okay go ahead what do you got
Justin Trudeau what is our opinion of him go
he's hot
but he's a little too hot for me.
So, like, I think, I know there's controversy and stuff,
but that's actually, that'll take him down a few notches.
And then maybe, like, after a divorce,
I think we'll be ready for each other.
Ronnie's ready to rap.
His hat's sideways.
He's ready.
He's going to flow.
Does anybody want to hear him flow?
What do you think about Justin Trudeau?
Fast.
What do you think?
Fast? I don't think I have a,au? Fast. What do you think? Fast?
I don't think I have a...
I'm not Canadian.
I don't have a right to comment on this.
I'm only going to say it
because someone asked me about it.
You're asking about it.
I think he's probably the most...
Yeah, he seems like a good guy
by politician standards.
He's probably the most progressive leader
in the history of Canada.
So if you're down with that
I mean
that's
that like
I mean what
we're just trying to decide
like how progressive
do you have to be
in order to do blackface
right
is that what
like
how much
progress
do you have to make
in order to do
and how many blackfaces
you can do
how many black friends
did he have
which normally
would be a hypothetical,
but in this weird case,
it's actually a real world thing you have to weigh up.
Yeah, it is.
How much inclusion and liberal values
do you have to fight for
and actually achieve legislatively
in order to do black friends?
That's a question we all...
Which is a class they teach here at Toronto University.
Yeah, yeah.
Who else?
Yes, right there.
I don't know.
I have no idea.
That's a really tough question.
Are you doing a special?
I'm shooting a special.
We're both shooting them in the next few weeks.
Oh, for Comedy Central.
Mine's for Comedy Central.
I'm shooting a Netflix special on Friday in Los Angeles.
Wow.
Where at?
Alex Theatre in Glendale.
Beautiful.
Oh, okay.
Thanks.
That's awesome.
That's fucking going to be great.
Oh, thanks, man.
You're a very good comedian.
And Esther, you're going to do one.
I love you.
I don't really know, to be honest with you.
I'm just kind of taking my time and doing my thing.
I'm working with someone on making one our own way.
And if you connect the dots, I think you know who it is
so if you know me
you'll know who I'm doing one with
Shane Gillis
that's right
I'm a mad TV guy
what do you say
yeah yeah me and Bobby I know people want to know
we're working on it
it's really difficult because he's
unbelievably lazy it's very sad
he's very sad
he's video gaming right now
I'm sure
24 hours a day
but we are
we're working on it
I promise
do you have a name suggestion for us?
because red and yellow
is not going to work for him
somebody named it red and yellow
and it caught fire
and the internet was like
it's awesome
and I was like
you don't like this right Bobby?
he was like
it's racist
I was like yeah for Bobby to say that is right, Bobby? He was like, it's racist. I was like, yeah.
For Bobby to say that is very funny.
You think about it.
You send us some names.
Who else?
In the back, top up there.
Is there a specific city for it?
Is that a comic?
Yeah.
Yo, what's an easy city I can tour in and just fucking crush it in
where people are really nice.
I don't really want to work at it.
I know the answer.
Bloomington, Indiana.
The Comedy Attic is the best comedy club.
Because the audiences are so well behaved.
And they take their phones away.
So it's really, really good.
There's a lot of really good ones.
In America, the top one,
Denver Comedy Works downtown.
A lot of people say Comedy Attic.
A lot of people say Comedy on State.
There's a pretty good amount of them.
They tend to be in the Midwest, oddly enough.
I'll tell you where it's not.
Yeah, that's the easier question.
Philadelphia.
Philadelphia.
Tough crowds. It sucks. Yeah, I don't know why. I'll tell you where it's not. Yeah, that's the easier question. Philadelphia. Yeah.
That place.
Tough crowds.
It sucks.
Yeah, tough crowds.
Really?
Like tough crowds for some reason. The only place in America I had to throw someone out.
Where else did I do?
I had an interesting time in San Antonio.
Do you guys know what San Antonio is?
If you don't know what it is, it's...
It's fucking American.
Well, I don't know.
It's so American. Well, okay don't know. It's so American.
Well, okay.
How much do you know about Winnipeg?
I know it's a place.
I mean, do they know anything about San Antonio?
Yeah, that's not what you said, though.
You said, do you know what that is?
You're right.
You're right.
When you're right, you're right, Ronnie.
It's got Americans.
Hey, we're better than everybody
San Antonio was an interesting
group of people
they were
mean
they were very mean
one or two more
you right there in the middle
Andrew you got some serious fans here
they follow you and everything
they're going to kill us after the show why? that's very good And then, okay, you. Damn, Andrew, you've got some serious fans here, man. They follow you and everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why?
Yeah, and they're going to kill us after the show.
Why?
That's very good.
Thanks for being on the show, Ronnie.
What do you got, my friend?
This guy's not serious about a question already.
Have you been given or that you would give to, like, new stand-up?
Best piece of advice I'd give to a new stand-up?
Yeah, that you've ever gotten or that you've ever given.
I think there's a lot of convoluted answers,
and the best one is write a lot
and work hard and just keep getting up.
I mean, there's really no secret.
We all have extremely different paths.
There is no answer.
There really isn't.
It's like, are you writing a lot of jokes
and you're getting up a ton?
That's the only thing that you can do,
literally, that you can.
And also, you know, don't say racial epithets.
That'll help you out. If you can, yeah. If you can, if you can try. If you that you can. And also, you know, don't say racial epithets. That'll help you out.
If you can, yeah.
If you can, if you can try.
If you can, try.
Try your best.
But yeah, work hard.
Just get up as much as you can.
You know what I mean?
Maybe one more piece is
don't focus on what
other people are doing.
That's a fucking,
that's a big deterrent
at the beginning of your career.
You're like,
why has that person got that thing?
Why do they get to do that?
Just don't worry about it.
Just fucking work super hard.
You're a young comic?
Yeah.
Well, not young. I don't mean age. I Just fucking work super hard. You're a young comic? Yeah. Well, not too young.
I don't mean age.
I mean in comedy.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
That's how we talk about you.
How old are you as a man?
What's that?
36.
36.
Yeah, man.
You got to start.
Dude, so what?
Fucking Dangerfield.
People recognize him in his 50s.
You know what I mean?
Like, that became kind of the blossoming part for him.
I don't think that's going to happen to you,
but I do think it could happen. All right. One or two more. One more. One more. You know what I mean? Like, that became kind of the blossoming part for him. I don't think that's going to happen to you, but I do think
it could happen.
All right, one or two more.
One more, one more.
Who's got one more?
Okay, how about that guy?
That guy, you go.
Yeah, you're the guy.
What's the highest
I've ever been?
He only did it twice.
Yeah.
I done weed twice.
I done heroin once
What's the highest
Oddly enough they don't have punishment for that
The horse is fine
Baby
The highest I've ever been
We've all been to that point when you get too stoned
And you're checking your heart rate
Looking in the mirror like I gotta get out of here
And at some point you realize you're gonna be okay
We've all had those.
Where was it?
My mom,
at my parents' house.
Yeah, yeah.
I got so high
at my fucking parents' house.
It was so unfortunate.
I stayed there.
I'd lock the door.
My mom was like,
are you okay?
Are you okay in there?
I was like,
I'm so sick.
Psycho,
it's the thing to think of.
I hate to be that guy,
but can we get one question
from like a woman or something?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, another one.
Yeah, you've had enough.
No, I'm just joking.
Go for it, yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
That's exactly what it is Watch this
How many people in here
Are my best friend?
See them?
They're all right there
Yeah
That guy is
That girl is
That guy is
I think so
But that's the whole point of podcasts
Yeah
We actually enjoy it
It's to trick people into thinking
They have an emotional connection
So they can buy tickets
That's really what it is
Yeah
It's to emotionally manipulate them.
Yeah, yeah.
That's the whole...
Yeah.
And really give them nothing in return.
Absolutely, yeah.
It's really wonderful.
Yeah, no, I do love the connection.
On a personal level,
it's been like the coolest thing
that's happened in my career
and I'm being very genuine about it.
Stand-up is a fucking super hard grind
and TV is a super fucking hard grind.
Like all that stuff is kind of like
sometimes rewarding to a degree and you're like, fuck, this is kind of hard. I don't really get to be me. Podcasts, you get to Like all that stuff is kind of like sometimes rewarding to a degree
and you're like,
fuck, this is kind of hard.
I don't really get to be me.
Podcasts, you get to be you
and when people kind of embrace it,
I don't know, man.
That's kind of the coolest part
of comedy for me right now.
So, yeah.
I know that wasn't funny.
Say something funny, Ronnie.
You all suck.
There it is.
I do highly appreciate you guys coming.
I think that's so fucking cool
that you did this.
I want to thank my guests,
Esther,
Povitsky,
Ronnie Chang.
They're the shit.
Thank you guys.
That's it for us.
Goodbye.
Good night.
Thank you.
Thank you. Whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Gingers are beautiful.
You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.
Gingers are hell no.
This whiskey is excellent.
Ginger. I like gingers.