Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Russell Peters

Episode Date: January 8, 2021

Santino sits down with Russell Peters to talk about bombing before Pharcyde, selling his Rolls Royce, his house becoming a hip hop haven of OG's and little he cares about baseball and how his brother is his manager and hasn't screwed him over...yet. ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! SQUARESPACE - Help design your website today with amazing templates and the help of professionals https://squarespace.com/whiskey Use promo code WHISKEY for 10% off Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips EDITING AND PRODUCTION DESIGN BY THE AMAZING WHISKEY GINGER TEAM JENNA SUNDE https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday/ JOE FARIA https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria Y&S https://www.instagram.com/youngandsick/ Intro Music by Rocom: https://www.youtube.com/user/RocomTelevision Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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andrewsantinostore.com even easier enoughambling. Let's go to the episode. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. It's Russell Peters. Russ, cheers. Cheers, Andrew Santino.

I refuse to call you Cheeto. Yeah, he won't. Russell was late, and I said, I knew he was going to be late. But I said it's a brown thing not a black thing or it's a black thing not a brown thing but I guess you're included it's a non-white thing but don't you think historically your people are always on time

my people I don't know I know Indian people are generally late are they really? yeah we're pretty bad at it too I was hosting an award show in india last year the gq man of the year awards and were you really yeah in india well who won

the gq man of the year in india oh i don't remember um some some good host some fucking guy yeah so they said i'm in the hotel this is in bombay and they go Russell the we're gonna send somebody for your room at 8 o'clock and the show will commence at 9 or 8 or 8 30 we'll bring you downstairs we'll do the red carpet we'll do the interviews and then we'll start the show at 8 30 okay and I go cool and I'm never on time but I was ready that day early because you're in a hotel where yeah I was already at 10 to 8 and I'm like wow I call my brother i go hey i'm ready he goes yeah they push to 8 30 i go oh come on i'm fucking ready the first time i'm on time yeah and and they pushed and i go okay i'm going down to

get a drink then all right so i go to the lobby bar i grab a drink my brother goes i'll come down to meet you my brother comes down like 8 20 he's He's like, yeah, they're going to come at 9 now. And I'm like, are you kidding me? So now I'm like, by the time they got me, it was 9.45 or 10 o'clock or something crazy. Two hours after they were supposed to get me. Yeah. And I'm hammered now. Right.

And they take me to the red carpet. I do all the interviews. But I kept drinking. During the show? Oh, yeah. So by the time we started the show i was fucking lit like welcome everybody when you do when you get invited to do stuff like that in india is your first reaction no or do you love doing stuff no i love doing you do i i like

hosting events like that see that gets me all i'm always afraid that like knowing my mouth i'm gonna make an off-color joke or something stupid and then they're gonna be offended by it and i'm always afraid that like knowing my mouth i'm gonna make an off-color joke or something stupid and then they're gonna be offended by it and i'm like oh shit i don't want i'm i'm hoping for that you want to get canceled no i just we can do it today on the show yeah i'm sure we can you can get canceled doing anything no not you know what's so funny i think comedy fans particularly podcast fans it's more of like no one gives a shit anymore i mean you you actually learn most of the country and the world doesn't give a shit it's an extremely small group of people that give a weird shit for no reason it's true but and and i've never actually physically met one nobody does

they don't they don't really i don't think that's what i said they're russian bots i agree i agree i think they're in they're fake the studios and the networks they're all so fearful of it and i'm like what are you like Like, nobody pushes back. Nobody fights back. Well, you know the old phrase, if it messes with your paper. It's like, as soon as it starts to get in the psyche of the big companies and networks that it's going to fuck with their paper, then immediately they're like, oh, my God, are we going to lose money?

Like, they just, they're so scared of the possibility of losing money, even if it hasn't happened yet. Oh, yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. And all they do is empower that shit. know it gets bad well but you know what well look what happened to chelsea on with netflix chelsea who peretti handler oh i was like what oh chelsea what happened on netflix well she did uh she was talking about it on stern she was saying that she did this documentary she did oh yeah yeah and that uh at the end of a shoot One day I guess they got Something really good

And she was excited So she smacked This woman on the ass Like alright And it was a black woman And she like Made a big deal about it And she was like

This is what we've been Fighting against And she had to go to like Sensitivity training And I'm like What the fuck Like you could just be like Hey don't fucking touch my ass, and then that's it. It would have been great.

I mean, she used to be able to just knock someone out. She should have just been slapped or hit her in the face back. Yeah, turn around and be like, bitch, I'm going to punch you in your face to do that again. Right. Like, it's pretty simple. And then it's all cleared up. It's gone. She did some stuff.

I made fun of her on Twitter. I mocked her real hard on Twitter. Just because she did it with 50 Cent, she was like I reminded him he was black and that he can't vote for Donald Trump and I was just like this is such a corny approach to be like listen here collared boy I was so annoyed at that whole thing

with 50 Cent and also then 50 Cent who has every right to be a Trump fan if he wants to I don't care who people vote that's your choice I don't think he's a Trump fan he just liked the tax policy no shit so did everyone that did vote for him yeah so did all these executives that we're talking about that run these studios absolutely so the fact that like he then has to come out and apologize publicly and be like i'm sorry i'm talking about for trump is like to me it's the epitome of what's wrong with what's going on

it's like you're supposed to feel bad about whatever. You know, I think that's, luckily, all that shit is in the past now, this whole fighting with the Trump thing. Unless he never leaves. He might just be like, I'm here now. I'm living at the White House. I think it's going to be hilarious in January. See what happens. When they try to get him out?

It's going to be hilarious. It'll be like the groundhog? You know, have to pull him out of the hole? There is. It's going to be whack-a-mole. Yeah, whack-a-mole him out of the White House. There is he. Get out of here, Trump.

No, I mean, you know what? Yeah, we'll see what happens next year. It's just all this is going to become is a fight to talk about who was the real vaccine credit. Who gets the credit for the vaccine? Because he's still online tweeting, talking about like, I'm doing the job to get the vaccine out early and not divulging information of Biden's camp, which I think is, I mean, that's all it's become

is a rat race of politics of who gets the vaccine credit. Are you going to take it? I don't know. Yeah, interesting, huh? I don't know. You're like the fifth person that said no or I don't know to me.

Yeah, I don't want to say outright no because I don't know. Right. But I'm also not a fucking sheep or i'm gonna like yeah right like do you get flu shots no yeah i mean i've never gotten never done a flu shot and i've yeah i've gotten the flu maybe twice in my life you know what i mean like i got it one time but i never get the shot uh because i learned from a friend a family friend who who is a doctor who was like, it's 56% accurate?

Yeah, I don't want that. I was like, what? I was like, our whole lives I thought if you get it, you're good. He's like, no, it's less than 60% consistently every year is typically around the number of efficacy of the flu shot. I was like, that's crazy. You might as well go play slot machine. Right, it's the same shit.

Yeah, let's go to the blackjack. Playing the same odds. Yeah, I didn't get it. So I know i've never gotten it but people around me and now that i had i had the rona my doctor told me not to get the flu shot but they are saying there's publicly people saying you should get it even if you had rona i'm not i'm not buying it i know show everyone your perp drink that you came in here with by the way i came with my little uh russ russ once again wanted to prove that he is culturally black because he's matching his outfit his shoes are his shoes are fly as fuck and they're clean he's got his perp drink what's inside of there by the way so it's a

sun-kissed grape uh sugar-free no calories really is that what it is yeah do you love that stuff i fucking love it i drink way more water this way i don't drink juice i don't i just don't drink juice no it just tastes like fucking grape water do you remember in the mall back in the day they used to have that that bowl with the fountain drink in it totally and like the grape would just cascade all around it you were obsessed huh yeah that i love that drink when i was and that tastes like it where did you grow up in toronto that's right you're a canadian cat i forgot about chicago chicago yeah but You're a Canadian cat. I forgot about that. You grew up in Chicago? Chicago, yeah.

But you're a redheaded guinea. How did this happen? My mother was trying to find a way to get back at her father. And so she slept with a Sicilian kid in the neighborhood. And what's your mom? Irish. I mean, the most. She's a leprechaun.

Is she from Ireland? She's 5'2". No, her parents are. Oh, really? She's a tinyprechaun. Is she from Ireland? She's 5'2". No, her parents are. Oh, really? She's a tiny little human. Yeah. She's... All the Irish people.

I'm 6'1". I'm by far the biggest leprechaun in the family. When I'm at the family functions and there's a thousand of us, I'm like clear and present, the tall, red-headed matchstick walking through the room. Everyone else is... I think the tallest guy in my mom's family is maybe 5 10 maybe what about your dad my my my dad is six well he shrunk but he's like six two six three but now he's a big guy he was a big oh he's i mean he was thick too he was a big you know i

don't want to know about all that yeah it was a bit yeah i don't want to tell him to tell you anymore i mean you might have to kill you i might have to kill you i saw your dick on something mine yeah was it on fucking Whitney's show or something? Did I? On your dick, you had your underwear. And I go, goddamn fucking Andrew. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It was on Bad Friends.

We did a live with me and Bobby. And for promo, as a joke, Bobby was like, someone had, you know, Bobby will do anything for the joke. Bobby is. Oh, yeah. And they were like, someone had made a comment about I had not been wearing underwear. And they were like, prove it.

And I said, I have underwear on today. And I showed the underwear and then Bobby kissed me. He kissed one of my nuts. He kissed my left nut. That's nuts. Yeah, no.

It was nuts. It was nuts. Singular. He only kissed one of them. Fucking Bobby. You know what I was going to wear for you today, by the way? What?

I was going to wear a Jurassic 5 shirt. The thing that bonds us that you don't really know that well is I am... was going to wear for you today by the way what um i was going to wear a jurassic five shirt the thing that bonds us that you don't really know that well is i am was and am a massive hip-hop fan but i did not know this but a but my generation an underground backpack kid i'm an 80s baby you're a little a tad older i'm 50 it's a little older but i won't i didn't have i wasn't going to do that to you you did it you did it no you still look good you still look good 37 37 37 i almost said 36 i'm 37 oh you're a backpack kid okay so you liked all the slum village and loved well i mean and most

of what i grew up with was loved ac alone loot pack yes loot pack was great i mean i loved midwest a lot of a lot of Midwest stuff I mean I've talked about it before I liked you know Atmosphere and Idean Abilities but Atmosphere

is spelled F-E-A-R right no no Atmosphere spelled correctly I think no but it should

have been Fear huh should we email Sean and tell him he should change it yeah I was a huge fan of that

I mean the Far Side was probably one of my favorite groups by far Far Side was the first time I ever got booed offstage. Were you open for a Far Side? Open for the Far Side in 1993. And you got booed offstage?

I got booed offstage. Tell that story. It was the first time I got booed. I was four years into stand-up. By the way, that is the shaky number. When you're under five, you're in this position where you could be kind of getting really good, or you could be still struggling night to night, you know? Well, that's the thing. I was on a roll doing well. Right, you're in this position where you could be kind of getting really good, or you could be still struggling night to night. Well, that's the thing.

I was on a roll doing well. Right, you were killing every night. And I was like, I got this, and this is my crowd. These are my people. Yeah, and it's Toronto. I'm like, fuck you, this is my city. Yeah, no. Did you eat it, or was it just not received well?

I did everything wrong. It was all you. I had a friend of mine make me a baseball jersey. Oh, dude. Right? And it said strictly hip hop on it. Oh, no. Do you still have it?

No. Bro, that's something you save. And I wore red jeans because that's what you were wearing back then. Right. But here's where I went wrong. I put on the baseball jersey and I tucked it in. What? Why, bro? All the baseball jersey and I tucked it in. What? Why, bro?

All the way around? A 360 tuck in? I tucked in my fucking jersey. Silly stuff. Yeah, everyone's like, who the fuck is this? Get this fucking nerd out of here. Wait, so did you literally get booed? Was it an actual boo?

Oh, boo. Like, get the fuck off there. My mouth went dry. And when I used to box, it's like when you get caught you get hit on the chin and the room sounds like it's doing this like yeah starting to close in on your head and and you're like fuck fuck and i'm like i just want to die right now did you finish the set no i just got off and everyone's like boom see i always say get the fuck off don't finish don't be the guy that's like no i'm to go through with it.

And then the next, but then I felt better because there was a group opening for them after me, a group from Toronto called Bass is Bass. And then they were on, and they were kind of popular at the time, but they weren't like for a hip hop show. You know, they were like, what's that? Like that early 90s trip-hop type stuff. Like who? Like a brand new

Heavies type of sound. Oh, yeah. It's more like... Like an R&B live band. It's like Diet Roots almost. So they went on and then the bass player starts playing and he goes, can i kick it and the audience

goes no you can't get off get the fuck off and i was like okay so that's true i don't mind if i'm not alone yeah no at least you i i've told this story before but that's how i felt when i did a corporate gig and joel mckale was with me and a guy named uh a guy named gary veder from new york who's phenomenal and i bombed so bad al who's phenomenal. And I bombed so bad. Alonzo was on it. I bombed so bad it was like it shook my core. But then I saw that everyone was doing poorly. It was in front of one of the Japanese businessmen in Vegas.

It was like this was never going to go well. At circular tables eating dinner, no less. So like turning around to see. But, yeah, I almost wore my J5 shirt for you because that was another band or group that I really liked that I thought I really love Charlie Tuna. And they're still- Well, it's the ambitious man with the- Right?

Yep. Well, it's the- Oh, God. Everything about that, dude. So, Newmark is one of my good friends. DJ Newmark. Yeah. So dope.

He was at my house a couple of weeks ago. We barbecued. Because you're a DJ. Mm-hmm. Well, you're- I mean, obviously, everybody knows you're a stand-up. But you love DJing. I've been DJing 35 years.

If you could flip and have the DJ career that you have with a stand-up career, would you do it? The same career? Well, I'm saying like the success you found in stand-up. Hell yeah. You would, huh? Hell yeah. So do you think in another life, do you sometimes wish you just really went all the way with music instead of comedy? No.

No. I'm quite happy with the way it went. Yeah, going okay it's not bad yeah and uh i love djing but i you know i i see how much how much better most djs are than me right now sure because i'm friends with like all these really top level guys so i'm like when they come over and they're like yo that's nice and i'm like shut the fuck up you'd'd murder me on the start table. You know better. It is funny when somebody kind of... It's basically like an open mic or getting a compliment from a headliner. Right, and you know better.

Great set, man. You're like, really? Yeah, but you're also like, shut the fuck up. There's no way you really mean that. Yeah. So what was that like? Who did you link up with in the hip hop world that kind of embedded you in comedy and hip hop?

Like, who did that? Who made those links for me? Yeah. So Marco Polo. You like Marco Polo? Mmco polo you guys look like you could be related yeah maybe could have been brothers yeah he's italian marco paolo bruno paolo but i'm not um you know i look like the map of ireland yeah but he's a ginge too i know but not like this fade this is so much no but he he looks like he just got out of auschwitz, though, because he's really skinny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he's the one that got away?

He's got like a big, you know. Yeah. Anyway, Marco Polo is from Toronto. Yeah. And he did a beat for me for one of my specials. And then he was like, yo, is it cool if Craig G comes to the show? And I'm like, are you serious? Fuck yes.

And then he goes, yeah. He goes, who else do you want to come? I go, who else do you know? And he started inviting all these old school rappers to my shows. So one time when I did Radio City Music Hall like 10 years ago, Pharoah Monch came, DJ Premier, Greg G, Master Ace. Everybody was there. And I was like, holy shit.

And we all went and hung out. And then we all became really good friends. And Lord Finesse is one of my best friends and uh primo is the man he's a big comedy fan you know that i know this time comedy yeah primo primo probably knows who you are no we do we've connected oh well there you go yeah in fact i was sitting in bed one night and i told my wife i said you know weird is to be texting with like you know weird is to know i didn't know you were married yeah well it's also because every time that you and i hook up i don't i don't tell you much you know what i mean fucking treat me like well let's all give my side dude bro um i told her i was like i'm texting with dj premiere and that's like the weirdest thing

and of course it means literally nothing to her but i'm like that's like the weirdest feeling about someone i grew up like idolizing yep and i say idolizing because i didn't never not like i wanted to get into music but it's the worst I just was such a big fan of everything that My son's mother, when we were together. We say baby mama in this room. Yeah, okay. I go with that. Sure.

You can say whatever you want. I don't even think I'm in that cute space with her. Oh, no. It's not like that. Yeah, yeah. My son's mother. Son's mother is so formal. That's my son's mother.

It is. It's all very formal right now. Right. But Big Daddy Kane stays at my house whenever he's in town. Really? So she had no idea who Big Daddy Kane was. I go, he's like a legendary guy. I had posters of him on my wall.

Okay. So she would see him in the kitchen. Hi, Kane. Oh, hey, Mama. How you doing? You know? And she's like, he's really nice. And I go, he's fucking Big Daddy Kane.

Yeah, he's the best. I don't know. It doesn't mean anything, huh? No, if I got my new girl knows, she's like more age appropriate so she knows all the shit. I get it, dude. You know.

It always goes down the ladder. It doesn't go up the ladder. I get it. She's closer to the, she understands it, right? She understands. It's also, well, it's hard too to explain somebody like,

like I don't ever fanboy out on almost anybody. And it's usually a musician that I love that people don't, most people don't know about or don't care about. Right. And so they're like, why are you so, why, like, I could be sitting at a restaurant next to Brad Pitt and I just couldn't give a fuck. I'd be like, oh, that's cool. I saw Brad Pitt today. I guess. I'd be like, oh, neat.

I guess, whatever. Oh, wow, I saw Brad Pitt today. I guess. I'd be like, oh, neat. I guess, whatever. Oh, wow, I saw Brad Pitt. You know, if I'm next to like, you end up next to like Greg Nice or someone that you're like, well. Oh, Greg's one of my good, good friends. Oh, so dope. Like that to me would be like,

that's cooler. You gonna call him? Let's call him. Yeah, call him. Let's call Greg N-I-C. But that to me has always been cooler when you're like, oh, yeah, someone that I thought, it's mostly because it was like oh yeah someone that I thought it's mostly because

it was influential as a kid I think that's really what it is let's see what he says well he's never gonna know who the fuck I am he will he's a comedy fan no he won't know who I am

he'll go who? no no no no yeah tell him to hit me when he's in Atlanta I will tell him to you know what time is it in Atlanta right now?

No, it's not that late. You're good. Nine o'clock. Yeah. Sometimes he goes months without answering his phone, though. I respect that about people. I like that some people are just like, no, I'm not going to. I stay off my phone for a while.

Boo. Boo. Please leave a name and number. Thank you so much. That's very, such a, what a polite email, voicemail.

Well, tell him I love him. The last text I got from him was, I love you, brother. That's a great text. Yeah. If anything goes south,

you know, you know, at least you had that. You too, Gregory. Like a, like a dad. You too,

Gregory. Be well at school. Yo, have you been doing anything during pandemic stand up wise or no like the odd week you know like I did Addison improv yeah how was it it was fine it was in September though and that's when I found out

I didn't find out that's when I thought I had the COVID really but I didn't know I didn't know. I didn't know at the time. Retroactively, I went, oh, shit. I guess I did. Yeah.

But I mean, how much traveling were you doing? Not a lot. Not a lot. So that was like my first gig since July. So it's like every two months or two and a half months, I get a weekend. I was supposed to be in Chicago this past weekend, but it got canceled. What were you doing in Chicago? What do you do when you do? Schomburg Improv.

Oh, you do? Yeah. Where'd you grow up? Well, I grew up in the city until I was 11, and then we went to the western suburbs. I grew up right down the street from, I mean, in the same neighborhood as the Old Town Zanies, the one on Wells.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was really close to that. And what about Jokes and Notes? Did you ever play there? No. Where's that? It was a black Wells. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was really close to that. And what about Jokes and Notes? Did you ever play there? No. Where's that? There's a black club. Oh, yeah.

Black comedy club. No. No, I didn't do comedy in Chicago. I started out here. Oh, you didn't? No, I moved out here and did comedy out here. So when I go back to Chicago,

to me, there was no, like, connective tissue to any clubs that I, like, had a thing about. The only thing I... But a lot of great comics came out of there. Totally. Rocky Laporte's fucking hilarious.

There's a lot more comics that move to Chicago and then claim it as their own than physically are from there I would say that well there's a lot of guys that like

like Kumail and Bronger and a lot of those guys they move from somewhere else Kumail started is it from Chicago? he is that where he moved to

when he came from Pakistan? Yeah, yeah. That's, yeah. Oh, okay. I didn't know that. But, like, a lot of guys claim Chicago. There's a lot of, like, comics.

And that's totally fine, but that's because that's where they started it. Right. But I don't... Born and raised in Chicago? I don't... There's only a handful of guys.

Rocky Laporte. Dionne Cole. D. Ray Davis. Hannibal Burroughs. D. Ray Davis. Little Rel. Rel. Shit. There's Mark Simmons. I don't know who that is. Hannibal Burroughs D. Ray Davis Little Rel Rel shit there's

Mark Simmons I don't know who that is I've never heard of that I saw the black comics because back in the day when I would go to to New York and stuff I could only get on

the black rooms really like in the mid 90s they were like yeah you can get on you'd be like Capone be like you want to do my spot

in the Bronx at 1.30 in the morning yeah fuck yeah yeah fine and then keith robinson and patrice so now because i was staying with them on their couch they'd be like you're gonna get kicked in your fucking throat tonight what's gonna happen to you like we talk about keith he goes listen motherfucker i wouldn't do these rooms and i'm black and you do them anyway i'm like fuck it it's 75 bucks i need 75 bucks right now what year was that 96 that was not crazy to think that even in 96 people were getting paid 75 bucks and then even now even a couple years ago la still was chomping people on oh yeah that's it's the worst hustle in

the world or best hustle for other people it's the best hustle for the people that own the shit but i've always said that like this old rule that i got sick of observing was like that you know everyone in the comedy store you know if you're successful it doesn't matter to you but i always thought there's a lot of guys that like really really need the money and when they're getting paid only a couple of bucks to go up you're like that's just that's beyond unfair and i hope that changes after all this shit is over oh it won't probably get worse you think so i think yeah because i don't know i mean i'm going to do clubs now me and dl we're talking about this we're going back for um two-thirds we're going back for for one-third of the pay we used to get yeah same i just got a bunch of offers to

try to do a bunch of rooms because well because they're half the room right or or whatever the capacity level is different but i mean is he okay by the way yeah he's fine he passed out on stage right yeah that's when he had the COVID. Right. He had it in Nashville. Yeah. Yeah. The video looked concerning.

He almost banged his head. Yeah. He could have not, he could have really hurt himself. Yeah. And then he had no idea he had COVID, right? No,

that's when he found out. That's what I'm saying. He's like functioning, but he found out that he had Yamaguchi's disease or something. It's a heart condition. Is that an anime thing? What is it? It's a Christie.

He gave it to him. She did. Yeah. She did a triple axel on his ass. She did a triple axel on him. Wait, what is Yamaguchi's disease or something. It's a heart condition. Is that an anime thing? What is that? It's a, Christy gave it to him. She did? Yeah. She did a triple axel on his ass? She did a triple axel on him. Wait, what is Yamaguchi's disease? I don't know.

He was telling me about it. I don't know the details. That sounds like some bullshit. Some preexisting condition he didn't know about. And that's what triggered this and that and this and that. Oh, wow. Or rather the COVID triggered it.

But he's fine now. He's fine now. Yeah. Well, you can live through Yamaguchi's disease, so don't worry if you get it. If you can live through the Olympics, you can live through this. Through anything. You were supposed to play what?

I was supposed to play Zany's about two months ago. Because DL comes to my house, we smoke cigars together. Oh, you big cigar guy, huh? I just got into it over COVID. Dude, you, Burr, a lot of these guys are huge on it now. It's so funny. Burr got into it maybe a year ago because he stopped the sauce yeah that's weird no i think it was because he he misses having something yeah and that you gotta you gotta grab something so he loves cigars and

he got bird into smoking cigars i feel like so many people i know rogan got into cigars a little bit oh yeah i was smoking one on his show when I was there. Yeah. So why? Why? Why the cigar thing? I don't... You know, I have... At my other house, I had a humidor. It came with the house.

Right. It was a big-ass humidor. And then I get these really great Cuban cigars for really cheap. And Angelo Sarukas... You have the plug? Is that what you want? I got the plug. You need?

Yeah, I would love one. You smoke cigars? No, but I want to give them out as gifts. Oh, you should come over and smoke one with me. I'll try one. I don't, I've smoked cigars five times in my life. I'll give you the ones that I know you'll like. Okay, great.

To start you off. Right. And I had this thing in my house for years, and I buy cigars for Angelo. You know Angelo Sarukas? No. Big Greek guy, one of my good friends. He's from Canada. He lives out here.

But he's a big cigar smoker, and I'd always buy him really nice boxes of cigars so i'd keep them in my humidor for him and then one day he was over and i was like let me fucking have one of these and i was like under a lot of stress and i was like you know this is nice i feel relaxed doing this and i got into it and then the one i got into is when i started hanging around becoming better friends with guys that i already knew sure it was like like cedric and dl DL and Anthony Anderson and those guys would come over and we'd sit around and just be stupid and smoke cigars. Right. It's a bonding experience.

It really is. Yeah. Well, that's why I like drinking with friends because that is the same thing to me is having a drink. We have the drink and the cigar. Yeah. That's what they say. That's a great combination. But I smoked cigarettes for a while.

And so I think now that I don't think it's going to trigger me to you don't you don't you don't inhale no i know but i'm saying there's something about that oral thing that really do you do love go ahead i put it out there for you you're not gonna you're not gonna take it no i miss that i miss i do miss smoking i'm not even gonna lie do miss smoking. Is it the smoking or just the oral fixation? I got to have something in my mouth, man. You know that about me. No, I think it's... You know really what it was?

Like some nights I would walk to the store. I lived in West Hollywood for like 12 years and I lived all close enough to walk to the store. And then it was a goal of mine to like live in a place where i could walk to and then some nights i would walk and if i was having a tough week or whatever it was so nice to have a cigarette because once that nicotine hits your blood it just feels like you're it's almost like a mental check down your brain is like you're okay like you're you're good it's this it's this

thing that just mentally it feels better. It physically feels better. It's a whole psychological thing. So yours was about the nicotine then? It also is the act of smoking. Right. But I think these things are intertwined. I think they're so...

I think when somebody is addicted to nicotine and they get to a place when they can't go an hour without having cigarettes, well, then it's like you need to fix that. But I wasn't so addicted where I needed one all the time, but I really wanted one. Once in a while, I really wanted one, and it was a great relief in the weirdest way.

Yeah, I think I'm like that with cigars now. I can go many days without it. So I'm like, you want to go have a cigar? I'm like, yeah, let's go have a cigar. Yeah, it's nice to have. Yeah, it's the same with drinking. It's like I could go a couple of days, maybe weeks without drinking. Somebody says, you want to go have a cigar? I'm like, yeah, let's go have a cigar. Yeah, it's nice to have. Yeah. It's the same with drinking. It's like, I could go a couple of days,

maybe weeks without drinking. Somebody says, you want to have a drink? I'm like, yeah, let's go have a drink. See, I can't go weeks. I could barely go weeks, but I'm just saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just going to say, I don't know if that's true.

Maybe I exaggerated. I can go a couple of days and then after three or four days, I'm like, I'd love to have a drink right now. But if somebody told me it was going to kill me, I'd probably... Have doubles. I'd probably drink it until I died. Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to stop now. Are you nuts? I'd probably do doubles a drink right now. But if somebody told me it was going to kill me, I'd probably... Have doubles.

I'd probably drink it until I died. Yeah, I'm not going to stop now, you nuts. You'd probably do doubles. I got this far. No, I think that it's always been... Yeah, I think smoking, because it was in my family too. And as a kid growing up,

everyone smoked. I remember that. People smoked inside. It was just so normal to smoke. Family parties the next morning. You'd go down to the living room and the house would stink like smoke and stale potato chips. St just so normal to smoke. Family parties. The next morning, you'd go down to the living room and the house would stink like smoke and stale potato chips.

Stale potato chips and smoke. But all you have to do is open a window and air it out. It's not that big of a deal. And for some reason, in the winter, if you aired it out in the winter, it got rid of it faster. It was like the cold wind just like- It froze the smell. It smelled out the shit.

Yeah, it froze the shit and put it outside. Well, freezers very rarely smell. They don't ever, right? That's why you put your jeans in there. You know that? What, to clean them? You never heard about that? Yeah. I've heard about that, but I've never you put your jeans in there. You know that? What, to clean them? You never heard about that? Yeah.

I've heard about that, but I've never done it. I've done it. It's wonderful. Does it clean them? Well, yeah, because they sell like big denim head people. Like I'm not a denim guy, but like friends that I have, my friend's brother's like a denim freak, like collects like really high end expensive. Dean Del Rey's like that.

He's huge into it. He's huge. He's huge. I mean, this guy that I know, my buddy's little brother, he's huge into it he's huge he's huge i mean this this guy that i know my buddy's little brother he's unbelievably expensive stuff and he's like you cannot put these in the wash that's insane he's like if you are going to wash them you hand wash them but usually people put them in the freezer and it is apparently disinfects them yeah it got well it gets rid of any kind of staleness that's left in the jeans. It's interesting, man.

I've done it a few times. I don't know if it works. I'm not joking. I buy $30 jeans from American Eagle. No, you don't. I swear on my kids. No, you don't. You have such nice clothes.

All my fucking jeans look really expensive, but they're $30 jeans from American Eagle. Because they have a little stretch in them. I like that. Then they got the rips and they got the different cuts. But as a guy who does wear nice shit, I'm surprised that you don't. You seem like you would have expensive jeans. No, I like nice suits. Suits, shoes.

Suits, shoes. What's your biggest indulgence financially? Watches and cars. Watches and cars. And this pandemic's kicked my ass. I got rid of four cars. Seriously? Yeah, sold a bunch of watches.

Did you sell the cars or are they leased cars? A couple of them were bought, a couple of them were leased. I gave them all back. So what do you do with the lease? You break the lease? Yeah, well, you flip it all into... Swap a lease or whatever? Yeah, you do swap a lease.

You do whatever you can to get out of it. Well, what did you do? I'm curious. How did you get out of a lease? One of them, I subleased it to another guy. Smart. That's really smart. Totally legal, too, by the way i know yeah i made him do paperwork and everything for that that's great yeah went all through the lawyers and everything so that i did that with my rolls royce um because that was a payment i didn't fuck i couldn't do anymore so it's almost five grand a month for a fucking car it's stupid wow

that's a heavy hit though huh yeah it's a heavy hit so i was like oh that's gone and then uh i sold the lamborghini truck well really did you get rid of it i got rid of the urus and i traded it in for the audi which is 125 000 cheaper same engine by the way same car exact same engine exact same engine same car same technology yeah i'm a big car guy that is the funny thing about why audi did that i of all the audi family by the way that is the exact same engine that they put in the only difference i've heard as someone who hasn't driven the urus is uh the the throttle response is supposed to be a little bit better on the lambo i honestly i can't tell the difference right most people say they can't but yeah that's the technical difference that lamborghini claims i actually think that the

audi holds the ground better too. Well, it's a little heavier, right? A little heavier and the tires are wider and bigger. Right, sure. Yeah, I mean, look, it's so funny when you think about it. If you're a car person, like I love cars, and when you start to learn about cars and the tricks of cars that you're like, sometimes cars are so overpriced. Oh, it's stupid.

For no reason. Yeah. There's no reason. Yeah, you're like like who the fuck's paying that oh you know a lot of people like people that spend 90 grand on a c63 you're like right you just paid 90 grand for a fucking c-class you idiot yeah or or or even worse it was a e yeah yeah i don't blow up spots yeah we don't but no by No, by E, I mean Evo. You bought an Evo. Remember Ecstasy?

No, I drive. Everybody knows. I've talked about it. I drive a Nissan Altima, and it's a 99. But it's the E class. It's a 99. It's a 99 Altima. Yeah.

It's good, dude. It's a great car. And it gets 185 miles to the gallon. No, but I- What was Brody's joke? Wood exterior? Yeah, wood exterior. Yes.

I miss that, dude. I think on my next run, I'm not going to lie, I'm probably going to go electric. Really? There was a guy, not there was, there is a guy around the corner from my place who has a fucking Polestar. I've seen those on the road. That shit is beautiful. Yeah, it's gorgeous, right? It looks like the fucking Urus.

But I'm afraid it's going to be like the Fisker the fisker and blow it set on fire and blow up and then when you know those people that drive the fisker there's no dealership for that anymore it doesn't exist there used to be one in pasadena up until last year gone yeah so now you have to go to a a body shop that knows how to deal with those yeah no i uh i love the way they looked but my i sent my assistant to go drive it for me yeah and he said he said, yo, this car drives like shit. It was bad. He said, it's so slow, it's annoying. People love it.

Because it looks fast. Right. Yeah, it does look really fast. It looks fast. And they weren't electric. They were hybrid. Well, that's kind of like that BMW i8. That looks really fast, but it's not that fast.

No, and it's a fucking pain in the tits to get in and out of. Oh, really? I've never been in one. I was like, yo, this shit looks dope. Let me go try it out. I got to the dealership. I go, in the tits to get in and out of oh really i've never been in one i was like yo this shit looks dope let me go try it out i got to the dealership i go okay how do i get in they go you gotta fall in yeah it's on the floor the well between the door and the seat is this wide it's like a fucking wide ass well oh so you you have to literally have to jump in and then to get out like you fucking pull your groin to get out Two feet you still can't get out Because it's higher than the seat

Sure it sits lower yeah Like Ah fuck It was like a turtle on it's back What do you There's no electric in your family No electric cars No I'm waiting for them

To come out with something Here's the thing I like the Tesla What do you mean the Tesla Plaid Do you know about that No You don't know about the Tesla Plaid No

Fastest electric car ever made I'm not worried about speed I'm worried about comfort Oh it is pretty comfortable Because I don't like The Tesla seats Right fastest electric car ever made. I'm not worried about speed. I'm worried about comfort. Oh, it is pretty comfortable. Because I don't like the Tesla seats. Right, they're standard, right? They're like very standard, run-of-the-mill seats.

And there's no like ventilation? No, everything's up top, yeah. They designed it cheaply because he wanted to spend all the money on the batteries. Those batteries are so expensive. No, the Plaid though, for real, it's an under two second sedan. It's the fastest car, pound for pound. Oh, yeah, no, for sure.

I mean, that car's a rocket, but same time. Yeah, it's not. Well, but he doesn't. I think his whole thing was he didn't want to continue to make upgrades to the interior because it's driving price tags up and he wanted all the cars to be simple production line. So that's like the problem, right? You're like. Yeah, I mean, I get I get his theory.

You like fanciness. I like. You like stitching ininess i like you like stitching in the seats i like stitching in the seats i like comfort i don't want to take my tesla and have to go customize it myself i mean take my car to fucking west coast you know what i mean right dude get it done by uh uh what's his name chip foos or some no no no no uh uh exhibits up there or whatever yeah yeah right what was it called it was what was it called? Pit My Ride. Yeah, there was a... Go get your ride pimped. Galpin Auto Gas.

Get it at Galpin, dude. Yeah, yeah. I had something done at Galpin once when I had my first Rolls Royce. How many Rolls Royces have you had? I've had... By the way, we're talking rich money. I don't know anything about his world.

I'm just relative to it, so it makes sense to me, but like... I've had three or four crazy but i mean i never ever kept them because they look really cool but you feel like a dick driving it well but but but but why is that's a projection thing you feel like other people think you're a dick because you're driving it yeah you feel like an asshole you feel like i feel like because a lot of guys that drive those things that couldn't care less what other people think i feel like an asshole driving so it's yeah it's all projection i was like i don't like i don't like what i'm putting out there so you get so

you get you get one you get rid of one you get one you've never killed because i'm like oh it's so cool and then i'm like what a dick you look like sure i mean you know that could be kind of that could be my canadian side i would like a cullinan oh really i love those i fucking love the car you just got rid of four cars now right you're ready to like juice it back i'm not gonna do nothing but i have two audis that's it that's all you got left yeah wow an rsq8 and an s8 the s8's fun it's great sedan so you have those two whips and that's it lambo gone rolls royce gone what was the other one beamer gone what beamer jeff m5 750 the new one the big daddy that with the m package and i had it with it was black matte paint from bmw damn red leather

interior was beautiful i want to be like you when i grow up but i was like i never drove it it was the point and what was the other one uh an m an m850 that's a bad that's a bad fucking car i love that the first edition that had the uh the swarovski crystal on the uh in the dial shifter oh my god dude that's bananas so what do you you got to give all that stuff back and you're like i can't i just i just didn't need it everyone was like how many cars you're gonna? You know what's funny is, not to name drop, but Lennox Lewis, when I first started, because we grew up together. Seriously? Yeah. Like in the same neighborhood?

What do you mean? I was an amateur. He was an amateur at the same time. Sure. So we would see each other at tournaments. Right. I wouldn't be fighting. He would.

I mean, it would just be like, hey, man, what's up? You know, good fight. Right. It wasn't anything more than that. But then as we got older and I got in the business and he became heavyweight champion, I was like, hey, I remember you from, you know, and I was like, yeah, that was, I remember, you know. And then we just, we rekindled, we became much better friends over time.

Wild. To the point now, actually, I'll show you, there's this video. I'll send it. I don't know if you can put it on the podcast. I'll put it on. Yeah. We'll put it right here. Yeah. It's a video of him

With this suit He just had made Right Yeah This is This is like from September Right Anyway

But anyway long story short So he gave you a shout out No no no no He had a suit made right in 1996 or seven i was at his house in london 97 98 whatever it was sure back in the day i was at his house in london to visit him and he was like where's your title so he pulls out his wbc belt and i'm holding it and i go let's take a picture so i took a picture of me holding the belt and looking at him like we're facing off. Wild. And I recently found the picture like last year.

Oh, yeah. So I sent it to him. I go, yo, check this. I remember this. He goes, holy shit. And he just had a suit made. And the lining of the suit is that picture. No shit.

So the lining of a suit is a picture of me and him. You got to send me that. That's wild. Yeah. So it was pretty cool. That is really cool. Yeah. So that's. How old were you guys when you first met? Let's see. If got to send me that. That's wild. Yeah, so it was pretty cool. That is really cool. Yeah, so that's... How old were you guys

when you first met? Let's see if I... Lewis, man. If I was like, you know, 16, 15, 16, he must... He's what? Maybe four or five years

older than me. Are you boxing anymore? You don't box anymore. No, I do jiu-jitsu. You do. You're into all that shit. That's why I was late today. I trained and I got to

training late and then... Well, you get to training late and it's a... It's a fucking domino. It's a domino effect. And and then after i had to go and eat and then i was like got home then i showered are you eating healthy i'm trying to do i look okay i'm not judging your physical form i think you are i want to know about your inside that's what matters um i'm trying to eat healthier it's impossible dude i've gained i gained 10 pounds over covid did you yeah man and i've lost a little bit of muscle which sucks like i

can't you guys can't work out the same way just schedules are different my my the lifestyle is so different it's just everything is shifted so and i'm quicker to say yes to pizza you know but that's my problem is like i used to when i was doing shows every night or i was traveling or like when you're busy it's so much easier to be conscious to go hey i can get a workout in the morning before i go do shows or i can you know and i can get a good meal in the hotel or i can go out to get a really healthy meal you know i mean it was just so much easier to live a little bit more conscious but now if i'm doing a bunch of bullshit and then i have a day and then i get home i mean the trick for me was is no snacking yeah impossible come on i don't snack at all really not at all i don't snack now and i am and i used to eat till i was fucking stuffed

same because we grew up with our parents and don't waste yeah eat it eat it you had to eat it or you couldn't get up from the table yeah my parents are from a third world country do you know that your cousins are starving and you're like i didn't well they are what did you and what would you have any smart ass rebuttal to that or no oh yeah well why don't we send them send it to that yeah that's what i used to say to my mom we'll send it to him my dad was like what you fucking say but it's always that thing of like i don't want you know i don't i don't want to ever feel like well you should finish because it's it's stupid to not finish your meal and it's embedded into your brain yeah and then as you get older you're like wow i should finish because it's stupid to not finish your meal, and it's embedded into your brain. Yeah.

And then as you get older, you're like, well, I should finish anyway. I'm hungry. But then you go to restaurants that give you too much food. Sure, and I'll take it all. I ordered a chicken parm last night. It was this fucking big. They're always absurd.

I had this much of it. It's a block of cheese on it. Oh, it's so good, though. It is good. In here, we pour whiskey. Whiskey Ginger is supported by Squarespace. Guys, if you've got an incredible idea and you're looking to put it to work on the interwebs, please use Squarespace.

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yeah so i nick tortoro was there too oh yeah so nick was at the other table with his family and i was at my table but we're very good friends so at the end of the night i was like nick go and take this home because i'm fucking not taking so nick took it home and then you're like and it's on your bill too yeah you have to pay for all this shit what What's the one, is there a food or a night out thing that you miss because of COVID that you can't have right now? I miss flying to Toronto and having Jamaican food. Oh, yeah. I love Jamaican food. It's good, huh?

Fucking oxtail, rice and peas. You can't get that in LA, huh? Not really good. You can get okay that in LA huh Not Not really good You can get Okay Where would you go To get Jamaican food I gotta go to the fucking hood

To go get it Sure And you know I'm not Fuck that You're not doing Jamaican food In Beverly Hills dude Yeah so I gotta go

Like down to Englewood And I'm like Oh there's this spot I'm like Listen if you're coming up that way I got this friend Who lives in Compton He's like a gangbanger guy

Yeah And he's like Hell cuz Whatever you need homeboy I got you I got my people They be throwing down on the kitchen cuz and I'm like okay well yeah I'll bring you some oxtails and they always call it oxtails but Jamaicans just call it oxtail right I'm like yeah is she good yeah she's Jamaican cuz I'm like all right and he said and she I don't know what he did or how he did it but this lady came to my house with a big ass tray of oxtail rice and

peas beef patties cabbage a cooler full of drinks and and i go what i gotta give her he goes like no that's i got this cuz it's all good she she put on she put on you know market to the game cuz it's on the family yeah and i'm like okay and now you owe them a favor yeah so when i read the paper that russell says you're caught with a gun guns in your car yeah right i'm like russell peters caught with 19 guns in his car in south los angeles today yeah and you're like but i just it was for the oxtail it was a car chase right and we got him he's going he's exiting the freeway buckham buckham dan oh he's going to calabasas this is yeah that's how they know that you're up to some bullshit when you're living out that way and And they're like, he's coming from the hood.

Something's wrong. You know this Buffalo? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, pause. You want some more ice? No. No?

Get some of this sauce in there. Pour at discretion. Pour at your own discretion. Are these custom, these shoes? No. They look custom. Oh, they're from Nike. They're older.

They're like maybe three, four years old. Now, are you hooked up with the Nike family that you get gifts? No. I was at one point, and now they don't send me any. They've stopped all that shit. Well, they've let a lot of people go. Yeah. Pandemic has not been good to corporate America hookups.

Yeah. I mean, my boys at Roots of Fight sent me this. That's cool. And that's my favorite fighter of all time. So I hit him up. I was like, yo, a Jack Johnson sweatsuit. I need that. That's great.

Shout out to Roots of Fight. Shout out to them for sending out free merch. And I'm going to get some, too. Obviously, you're going to give me a whole bunch of it. He's a fan of yours, too. Oh, good. Really? I'll take it. It's so funny.

When I first moved out here and I was skipping around, He's a fan of yours too. Oh, good. Really? Jesse, yeah. I'll take it. It's so funny. When I first moved out here and I was skipping around, I worked at the same studio that they made Punk'd on. I did Punk'd. I did the second iteration of it years ago. Yeah, you did, didn't you? It was my first job. You were like a waiter. I did all sorts of bullshit for them.

And then Ashton, you know, his assistant would like, they would make us reorganize stuff when I first moved out here. So we would be reorganizing, you know, an office or whatever when we were working on this show. That was your punking. That was my, trust me, it was. But I was reorganizing and one time they were, he had like, because he would get so much free shit. I mean, like an amount of free shit that was almost... Disgusting.

Yeah, it was terrible. But usually we would end up dropping it off at like, you know, they would make people drop it off at shelters or donation centers, which was very nice. I mean, that's the thing to do. But I remember one time, I'm going to call myself out. They had, dude, I had no money. You know, I was 24.

I was fucking skipping by. And they had gotten all these Christmas gifts to give to family and friends. And they were like dope ass portable speakers. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they were so sick. I don't even remember the brand at the time. Maybe Bose or some bullshit. Whatever.

But it was a cabinet filled with these things. And they had given out almost all these Christmas gifts. And I know we don't get Christmas gifts. We were low end nobodies. Yeah. And so, of course, I stole a few. Yeah, you one of the one of the dudes there was gonna snitch on me and I had to like step up to him like I was gonna fight him I was like dude I don't even lose my job over the shit he's like you shouldn't have stole I was like there's a thousand they don't fuck

they'll never know but to this day I felt guilty about stealing and I was like but he got them for free anyway I mean he got so much and now that i get some free shit i'm always like you should always give it away to people you should always be like take some here fucking keep what you want but then also be like here take all this other bullshit because i don't i definitely you don't need all the shit you get yeah i get i'll get stuff when i'm like i keep it for no reason i'm like i have to give this to somebody i don't get much yeah you if you could if you wanted to know if i wanted it I'd love it. But, I mean, I do want it. There's always a friend that knows someone that goes, hey, here, you can have that, and I'll get a thing.

And usually it's a thing I never use or never read. Yeah, like Snoop Dogg sent me a case of his wine. Rather, he sent me four cases of his wine. Right. Which was really cool. Right. But I don't drink wine. Right.

Because I have acid reflux. I can't drink fucking wine. That's nice gifts though, huh? And then he sent me a bunch of bottles of his vodka. Now that worked well. Yeah, that goes down. Is he still making that stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dude, that guy is the most entrepreneur. I've never met someone who has his hands in more parts of the industry in my life. Yeah, so I mean, you know, that was cool. Did you ever do GGN, by the way? What's that? Or GNN, the gangster news network that he does? No, I never did it he's still doing them

once in a great while really yeah there was a few really good ones he did I think he did one with Nipsey that was really good Rapaport I think just did one

a couple months ago I did Drink Champs what is that Noriega's one what is it like you know Norie I mean I know who he is yeah so Norie has a show

on Revolt TV called Drink Champs it's where you sit around and you it's like a podcast where you talk shit, but you're drinking. Right. And you're smoking weed. Oh, shit. So it was me and Bumpy Knuckles who did it together.

Really? Because Bumpy's like one of my best friends too. Oh, shit. And so Bumpy wanted to do it, but he's like, yo, Russ, I'm not doing it if you don't do it with me. And I was like, Nori, I'll do it, but can I bring Bumpy with me? He goes, oh, hell yeah. I go, you want Bumpy? He goes, yeah, hell yeah. I go, okay, well, I'm not doing it if you don't do it with me. And I was like, Nori, I'll do it, but can I bring Bumpy with me? He goes, oh, hell yeah. I go, you want Bumpy?

He goes, yeah, hell yeah. I go, okay, well, I'm going to come in with Bumpy. He goes, yeah, perfect. Because I went in because Bumpy don't drink like that. Right. So every time they'd shoot a shot, I'd go, I got this. And I would take all the shots. And then I started getting really hammered, which was fine.

But then I got hammered to the point where Nori was smoking a blunt right beside me. And go yo hey give me that fucking thing oh shit i i don't smoke weed that's a good night session for you i hit it hard and everyone was like oh shit and i was like all right handed it back and then he five minutes later he lit up a new one and he goes i go give me that fucking thing idiot and he goes this one's strong. I go, who gives a shit? I took a hit. And I was like, fuck. And then I'm sitting there, and he's talking to Bumpy, and all of a sudden you see me.

I'm like this. Yeah, out. Out. And then you hear Norah going, we'll continue that with Russell when he wakes up. And then as soon as I got outside, I puked. Oh, you did? Oh. As soon as the fresh air hit me, I was like, bleh.

Well, what is it called? Cross whatever that's... When you're smoking and drinking. Why can't I think of the name? I mean, that is my magic potion. I love having a little bit of weed. I'll take two hits and drinking whiskey, and that's when I feel like I'm in my...

When I'm on the road, and I want to work out some new weird shit on a late show, I love getting a little high and a little drunk. What about microdosing? I microdosed mushrooms. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fun, but I don't know.

A lot of people love it. I've done it a few times. I'd rather do mushrooms. I enjoy more taking a hefty amount of mushrooms and getting fucking ripped, if I'm going to do it. How ripped do you get? I mean, I ate mushrooms probably the first time when I was 15. And since then, I've probably done 20 or 30 times.

And what's the trippiest thing that's happened? Oh, my. Well, I mean, dude, when I was in high school, we used to eat an ace and some chain. I mean, we would eat a fuckload. When you're in high school, you're an idiot. You're like, let's go. See, in high school, I didn't do any of that shit. Oh, I did all of it.

I didn't start drinking until I was 31. No shit? 31. When's the first time you smoked weed? Maybe 40. Really? Yeah, and I didn't really smoke it. I just tried it.

Were you just a good kid? Were your parents really strict? Or what was it? No, it just didn't occur to me. Damn. It really didn't occur to me. And I didn't start drinking until I was 31. I was in South Africa.

How focused were you as a kid with schooling and shit? Was that a priority? Sports? No, just boxing and DJing. But DJing, in the hip hop world, there had to have been

weed and liquor around you all the time. No, it's Canada. Oh, right. You guys are weird up there, man. Yeah. How strange. It was the 80s as well,

you know what I mean? So it was like, my friend's father was on crack back then sure so we were all kind of freaked out by it cause

like what's wrong with your dad oh he's on they'd literally be like yo what's up with your dad oh he's rocked out right now so and you'd go over and his dad would be like this

eyes wide open teeth clenched oh what's up guys what are you doing is he alive yeah really made it through the rock the rock era and then good for him i remember seeing his dad a couple of years ago and i was like hey mr b remember when you used to be all fucked up on crack back in the 80s it was like uh yeah he's like the good old days he's in his 70s now like remember how fucked up you were

in the 80s with the crack and i was telling me one time i walked into i stayed over i slept on the couch and i walked in i had to go to the bathroom in the middle of night so it's an apartment so i walk in the bathroom take a piss and as i open the door his dad's in there with a dude and another chick and they're shooting heroin holy shit yeah like one dude like pulling the fucking the elastic yeah and and he's like and all i see is and i go oh i'll wait is there a wait there's a line there's a line in the bathroom sorry there's a few lines in that bathroom yeah that's kind of fucking crazy to think that you're i mean i had i'm like 14 15 when i'm seeing all this shit yeah i mean i feel like i saw a little bit of drugs when i was young

but i wanted i wanted to try so bad i was so interested weed was my I smoked weed when I was 15 and that changed everything that was like oh my god especially because it was the culture of going to hip hop shows everyone was smoking

so much weed and it was just such a fun it was also when you used to have to hide weed which I do see for you but that's like

the late 90s right yeah see so for yeah that's a different time it's a different era late 90s versus like mid 80s See, so from, yeah, that's a different time. It's a different era. Late 90s versus like mid 80s and at same age for age.

Yeah. It's two very different time periods. Sure. Yeah. Especially because culturally what's going on, right? Like weed kind of took a nap through the 80s and then woke up again in the 90s. Yeah. Yeah. Coke made its way to the forefront of the 80s.

Again, rich people drug though, because, you know, we know we were none of us had we were like in these we're all these poor kids well i mean rich people drug or working class guy drug that spent all his money on coke yeah i see my dad went to jail my whole life when i was a kid because of drugs selling them or all of it nice all of it was he a mob guy nah you know what i mean you don't know you don't want to say he you know he knew people and stuff Nah, you know what I mean? You don't know? You don't want to say? He, you know, he knew people and stuff. We all know people. He used to say, he knows somebody who knows somebody, make him so you don't know about it.

He got caught up in the lifestyle of partying. Did your dad speak Italian? No. No, it wasn't like that. My grandfather, he was the wackiest. He's still alive. My grandfather's 91 or 92 and still drives. That's wild, right?

Dude, you can't kill this guy. You literally couldn't kill this guy if you tried. We were in the parking lot of a... Was he from Italy? Born and then here. Born in Italy. Not raised here. Born in Italy, moved to America.

Yeah. but not raised not raised here born i mean not raised to america yeah uh he we were in the parking lot of a um uh uh uh oh why can't i think of the name i'm losing i'm losing my grip this in illinois this is in chicago yeah they're all over the city but i i can't remember that i'm closing my eyes but golden nugget golden nugget is like um a buffet restaurant norms it's like our norms same kind of shit you know what i mean it's a i love those places me fucking too well the nugget in chicago is a great thing but we were in the parking lot of gold nugget i'll never forget and my grandfather was starting to get to a point when he probably shouldn't be driving you know where you're like he's a little shaky you know and and

not even that old but still you're like he's just not paying attention as much as he used to. He fucking hits the gas. He's behind us to go make a right to go into the... He smokes the back of us. And my dad gets out. He's like, dad, what the fuck are you doing? He's like, go, go. That was his way of being like, come on, let's go. He thought he was giving you a gentle nudge.

Yeah, dude, he smoked the back of the car. It was just like, at some point when you're old and impatient yeah you're young you're like this is a whole thing when you're old you're like we're gonna die i'm gonna die before that car breaks couldn't care less go yeah he folded half of the trunk in no he's a he's an interesting dude he's a hustler man he's still he made a living hustling in the streets i mean he's you know my if my dad would have been 95 if he was alive wild how long did he pass away how long ago uh 16 years ago damn natural well he had cancer so naturally i guess yeah that's technically now isn't that natural pretty much which wanted to get uh non-hodgkin's lymphoma cancer of the blood oh no skin cancer oh wow because we're we should have

we're half breeds, right? You should be indoors more. Well, yeah, we're mixed with the British. Thanks for fucking us over. Well, yeah, it wasn't a choice, really. Yeah, so Eric Reginald Peters got the old, although he was a brown man. Your father's name was Eric? Yeah.

His middle name was Reginald. I know, that's even more. Eric Reginald Peters. My grandfather was James. That was supposed to be my Eric Reginald Peters. My grandfather was James. That's my middle. That was supposed to be my name. James Arthur Peters. You sound like tennis players.

Yeah. James Arthur Peters. And my grandmother was Eileen. Get the fuck out of here. No. Eileen. That's my family. Eileen is Irish.

What was my grandmother's maiden name? I think it might have been Burby. Burby burby yeah it's like some sort of where are your parents from india but where downtown uh downtown uh calcutta and bombay my dad was born in bombay but then he was his family my my grandfather moved the family out to the jungle, like in the middle of nowhere. Yeah. Because back then, the type of Indians we are, we're called Anglo-Indians, we're mixed. So we would get all the good jobs because the British were still in India at the time. So what does that mean?

You're mixed with all the Brits? Yeah, we're half British, half Indian. How much Brit blood? It went back. Last time my family, my bloodline was a full Indian was like 1820. Oh, wow. Like my cousin traced it back. And she goes, yeah, this is when it happened.

That's wild. So before that, apparently on my dad's side, we were Muslim. Oh, really? Yeah, that's what we found out. I was like, wow, that's crazy. And then my mom's side, she doesn't know. My mom's kind of vague with her answers. But my mom's a lot more fair skin than my dad was.

Because she's got all that white blood, huh? Yeah. Growing up, people would speak Italian to her when we'd go out. Yeah, you'd look very tan. Yeah, my mom looked like an older Italian woman. Right, like if I never knew and I never met you, I'd be like, look at this fucking Greek Italian Guinea Persian Guinea

fuck look at that look at that face I'll take the Greek and Italian you could be 50 things though you could be ambiguous you're just tonally you're just

right enough to be like oh I could be anything but the Indians know right away they do? yeah so you don't look any Indian friend I have

Indian family grew up next door to me and you don't what was their name? I can't blow them up what was their last nameake we'll have to blank we'll blank this out servastava oh they were south indian yeah so they'd have been dark as shit which is where i learned how to do the accent oh yeah well you learned the south one right so that because i because that because his dad yeah was he was the is the nicest sweetest coolest i mean they're a great family there are

such a good people but he was just such a like a it was the first time i understood i i didn't know what curry was when i was there theirs is extra hot down there bro unreal in the south they fucking eat lava i mean i didn't understand it i didn't know i would just know it smelled strong as fuck i was like the strength of the smell, if that indicates what it tastes like, I was like, I don't know if I want that in my body. Back in the day

when I'd go to clubs and I was still living with my parents, if they were cooking, you'd have to keep your bedroom door closed so your clothes didn't smell like it

and you would have to literally be like, Mom, I'm going for a shower and when I'm done, I'm leaving so don't get mad if I don't say bye. I'm saying bye now.

And she'd go, why? And I'd go, because I don't want to smell like Indian food. Why not? I'd go, I don't get mad if I don't say bye. I'm saying bye now. And she'd go, why? And I'd go, because I don't want to smell like Indian food. Why not? I'd go, I don't want to smell like any fucking food. Right. I want to smell like me. I don't want to smell like any food.

I want to smell clean and go to this club. So I would take a shower, run to my room, get dressed, and then bolt out of the house before I could smell like anything. That's wild. Well, just because you knew it sticks, huh? Oh, yeah, yeah. You'd be like this. Fuck.

Do you cook traditional Indian food at the house or no? I can't cook worth a shit. For real? Not at all? Your parents never gave you any of that love? No. I mean, I'm pretty sure I could figure it out, but I don't have the patience. I actually took chef training for two years.

Le Cordon Bleu? You one of those guys? No. The high school I went to, you had to learn a trade. You did cooking? So I took chef training. And I was good at it then, but we're talking fucking 32 years ago. It was when I graduated.

Right. So now, no. You got a chef at the house? No. I feel like you'd have a chef at the house, though. Well, Lord Finesse lives with me, and he loves to cook. So he's the chef at the house? Yeah, basically.

Lord Finesse will be like, yo, what you want on the menu tonight, man? And I'm like, I don't know. What do you feel like? I don't know. What do you feel like? I don't know. Maybe a little shrimp parmesan. Maybe some steaks. And he'll throw down. He'll make a whole shitload of things.

I'm like, damn, Ness. Yeah, fill up the fridge. I need to come over to the house then. I should come over to your house. Are you a Lord Finesse fan? I am. I am. I am too.

He was actually literally one of my favorite MCs. Now he's like He's family now Alright well let's Let's be honest then Let's go through it Who is Who to you is your top five? Um

It's Kane It's a lot of bigs It's Big Daddy Kane Biggie Biggie Big L Big L

Um Big L chain That album That Lifestyles of the Poor and Dangerous Changed my life Lord Lord Finesse And AG from DITC.

Hey, I love A.G. Yeah. Yeah, I love A.G. I don't know if it's one of my favorite lyricists, but I love A.G. No, but if you listen to him, you go, this motherfucker spits. No, he does. Yeah. I mean, also someone that's been sampled a lot, which I think is interesting, right?

Like, people will peel off a line or two of his and sample and use it in something else, but most people of my generation don't know unless you're ahead and then you go oh yeah I've heard him I've heard this before and I know that's an A.G. song yeah A.G.'s

his wordplay is incredible but basically any of the D.I.T.C. guys really right they're all dope Big L to me one of the strongest

lyricists of all time I mean also so young who knows what could have been yep you know and that Lifestyles of the Poor lyricists of all time I mean also so young who knows what could have been yep you know and that Lifestyles of the Poor and Dangerous

I remember Ness produced most of that album did he? yeah I remember I remember hearing that for the first time

with my friend Tyler we were listening to it discovered Big L is he a Harlem guy? no Finesse is a Bronx guy but he met Big L

I don't know he'll tell you the story when you come over he'll tell you the story he'll tell you the whole guy, but he met Big Al. I don't know. He'll tell you the story. When you come over, he'll tell you the story. He'll tell you the whole story about how he met Big Al, and then they got him to the studio, and how they just became boys. Wow. The whole idea of how those things used to happen was so organic and fascinating to me versus now, and maybe I sound like it's like,

you know, you don't know what you're talking about, but I see so many things now. They feel so much more fabricated. Everything's fabricated to me now. And nobody has any originality because it's like, well, this is the sound that sells, so I'm just going to do that. You know, like, why don't you do you? Well, to be fair, there is some guys out there that still are remarkably unique.

But the problem is there's a lot more copycats. But, like, I think Kendrick Lamar is remarkably unique. I think there's not a lot of guys like again not a fan you don't like kendrick no i don't get it i i respect him i think i think i respect what he's doing yeah i really like him it doesn't doesn't work for me how about okay let's let me try to peel my way through this whole thing and let's do you like do you like guys like future do you like any of that kind of stuff do you like uh no not at all do you like um do you is it because you don't like it or you don't understand it and so it's therefore just

not worth it probably both right there's a part there's a part of that that exists right like i've learned to admit that like i'm like i don't get what you're talking about or why you're talking about it you know melly again melly bell is one of my really really good friends and when we're hanging out what do these guys think of the younger cats this is what melly said one night we're hanging out we're drinking and he's like you know music is supposed to be a stamp of time it's supposed to take you back to what was happening then sure if you go back you listen to the message you know what was happening in the early 80s you go listen to white lines you know the people were doing cocaine in the club you listen to public enemy you know that there was a struggle happening

you listen these motherfuckers in 20 years all you're gonna know is they love strip clubs and big asses and fucking rims it's true yeah well all those things are true yeah they're not gonna tell you anything about the political climate of what was happening you're not gonna know anything except for that song fuck trump that's pretty on the nose i think yeah i think they're saying it was very subtle yeah yeah they try to hide their message the word play was good in that yeah no i i get it trust me i'm trying to do i've talked about this on the show before but like i'm trying my best to understand why the youth likes what they they like so why a 17 year old like simple well but it may be what what works for them right like my father hated hated most of

the music that i played in my room right and i was like you don't get it and he may not have gotten it but also it's also because it meant something to me because of my youth so little little pump or whatever the fuck or whoever yeah it may mean something to that youth category so i'm trying to be more like understanding and learn why i get that it's not made for us it's 100 no way i get that yeah i get it's made for the younger generation but it what bothers me about it is the is the lack of trying to do something better sure and i think it's getting called out though this is my point i guess the reason i like kendrick tries to do better that's my point although it doesn't appeal to me, I respect what he's doing, and I appreciate that he's trying to do something different.

Cole, I like the kid. I like J. Cole. I mean, I couldn't tell you any of his songs, but I like the kid as a person. He's a nice guy. That Let Nas Down is one of the best songs of all time. Have you ever heard that song? No, but I mean, I like him, and I respect what he's doing,

and I know that he respects the culture. For me, it's a personal thing. It's like, do you understand the hip-hop culture and like like i was uh i was facetimed with taiga the other day why everyone faced out with tiger i just this guy in my house is sure friends with me was facetiming him and i go yo and i'm a little drunk i'm like yo i got an idea and then we came up with i was like yo so who's your favorite old school rapper goes like like who i go yeah like who who the who do you who'd, yo, so who's your favorite old school rapper? He goes, like, like who? I go, yeah,

like who? Who the fuck? Who do you, who'd you listen to? Like, who's an old school guy? Like, he goes,

I don't know. And I'm like, do you know any fucking hip hop artist? He's like, I go like Big Daddy Kane, he goes, oh, that's before my time.

I go, yeah, that's what old school is, you fuck. Right. And then, and then he goes, okay,

I, he goes, well, I egyptian lover and i go you went before before kane yeah that's i go egyptian lover was dope but i guess that's because you're a cali guy so you right he knows west coast stuff yeah and that's fine egyptian lover's dope so i had no problem with that but he's not like a rapper did he earn points from you though at least a little bit no because i know he learned that from his mom right because his mom's my age you know what i mean record that his mom had when he was yeah yeah and then i was like i had i was i was just being you know drunk and racist with him it's like oh good that's why i

love being drunk and racist man he's half vietnamese i don't know people know that he is yeah tiger's half vietnamese i would never know so i was like i knew that and i was like hey i got an idea for it because what i go you need to open up like Tyga's Nail Shop. And they're so dumb. They're like, uh. It didn't land at all? No. Jesus.

These kids are dumb nowadays. Well, I think it's also they're so focused on. Like, I watched the Hulu put out the documentary. The Hulu put out the documentary. Indian dude, by the way, one of yours, put out a documentary about Tekashi 6ix9ine. Did you see that? Yeah, you should check it out. I shouldn't really promote it as if it's great.

What I mean is... What does it follow him from? It goes from the jump. It goes, honestly, from when he grew up in Bushwick. They go all the way back to the neighborhood he grew up in Bushwick and the people he grew up around. Does it follow him coming out of jail and stuff? Well, the most recent moment of it, without giving anything away, is what's happening right now.

So they get to 2019, so to speak. So it's fairly current. Yeah, I mean, yeah. They show as much as they can show, and he goes as far as he can go. Did you watch Hip Hop Evolution? Yeah, I did. Good. Yeah, I did. Good. Yeah, I did.

You know that's my show, right? That's your show? I executive produced that. You did? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, I'm the executive producer of Hip Hop Evolution. That's why you have Melly Mel and Grandmaster Kaz and Cool Herc.

They're all on there because I'm friends with those guys. You put it all together. Yeah, my buddy Darby Wheeler called me with the idea and i was like i'll do it darby but we got to make sure we follow it i want to go right back to herk and back past herk to the beginning beginning yeah and he goes yeah that's what i want to go perfect and then i said well i'll get us the interviews then right and you set all that shit up i set up most most of it. That's wild. Most of the New York stuff. Right. And now we're working on a D&D doc.

I'll show you the trailer for it. With who? Yeah. We're almost done. Really? Yeah. We started it like fucking seven years ago, six years ago. Wow.

Is this something that you kind of want to continue to do or is this just like random? Well, the D&D doc is going to be our sound city or our muscle shoals right like those are dope documentaries too for people that haven't seen those uh muscle shoals phenomenal loved it and if people don't know muscle shoals is an area of uh alabama that is a mecca hub whatever you want to call, of some of the greatest music of all time. Dude, I think that's a cool world. Do you think maybe that's, you know, obviously not to detract from what you're doing currently. Do you see yourself at some point focusing more so on that kind of stuff and then putting comedy to bed a little bit or no?

No. No? No, because there's no fucking money in it. Sure. Well, there could be, right? I mean, I don't know. I made not one penny from Hip Hop Evolution. We did four seasons.

I didn't make one penny. No, no, no. No, but I got an Emmy and I got a Peabody for it. Fine. So to me, I'm like, that's fucking better than... Trophies are fun. That's better than money to me. To have an Emmy sitting in my house, I'm like...

That is wild to get an Emmy, huh? Yeah. Did they send it to your house or do you gotta like how does that work it took them two years to get it to me two years two years

I was like where the fuck is this Emmy they're like it's coming apparently they cast it and they didn't like the way it cast it so they gotta recast it and then they engrave your name

on it and everything yeah where does that sit in your home in my bedroom right above the bed yeah right in front of the TV right beside the TV

but because in the old house I had it displayed in the pool table room but sure i don't i've had to downsize the house and there's nowhere else to put it but in my pandemic made you downsize the house yeah that happens i got kicked in my pandemic that's fine man that's fine no so you lost a pool table room you're fine i lost pool table lost a man cave but it's not your only house lost my golf course what do you mean i had a nine hole putting green at the old house. Fuck off. Really?

That was a beautiful house. How do you know you're a golfer? I'm not. You don't know I'm married? Like I don't know you're a golfer? I'm not a golfer at all. I still have never golfed to this day. Why'd you have it?

It came at the house. The old white dude that had it before had it? Yeah, yeah. The old Persian guy, matter of fact. Really? And my son used to love running around the golf course. Do you have any interest in golfing? No, not a little bit.

Why not? Because of... I don't know. Everyone's like, you got to do it. Crack the code. It's phenomenal. You're going to... I swear to God.

You'll like it because you like... If you like any sport that has intricacies, which you do because you love fucking jujitsu, which is the most intricate fucking sport there is, you would love golf because it's all about small things which i think little adjustments yeah that mean it means everything so like i've argued with rogan about this rogan makes fun of me he'll make fun of me about anything but he'll make fun of me about golf because i'm obsessed i love it but i've loved it for years how often do you play in the pandemic i'm a lot are you a righty or a lefty i'm already really yeah in the pandemic i

played a lot i played did you play street hockey growing up yeah of course everyone plays were you a righty then too i could go both ways when i played hockey hey you well uh and then i would also go both ways with a stick yeah that would fuck the dude either stick right right a lot of sticks dude love with sticks i'm a lefty with hockey you are yeah so i guess i'd be a lefty with golf it honestly depends i know baseball i know baseball guys that are lefties but they swing righty and golf yeah my buddy royce clayton wants me he's gonna say he's gonna take me we know who it is you know royce right yeah yeah so royce is like yeah i'll take you out with me i go you're gonna need patience because i've never done this i promise you'll fall in love he goes i'll take

you on a day when we're not playing for money or we're just fucking around. I go, yeah. He goes, it's fun. We have cigars and we drink. I was just going to say, so this is the thing I know about you. I know you like to have a couple of drinks with the sauce and you like cigars.

Those are the two of the mainstays of hanging out while you're golfing. Yeah, that's what I'll do. And you get to hang with your friends. Whenever people, that's what I try to convince Rogan of. I was always like, dude, it's friends spending time together, drinking, smoking, and talking shit. I was like, we already do that.

This is just another little element of fun to bring into it. And yes, the gambling is my favorite part. Is it? Well, it increases the fun, right? Are you good? I'm pretty good. Not with gambling. I mean, golf.

I'm bad at gambling. I'm bad at sports gambling. If I'm gambling on me, I'm good. If I'm gambling on a team, I'm fucking good. Not with gambling. I mean golf. I'm bad at gambling. I'm bad at sports gambling. If I'm gambling on me, I'm good. If I'm gambling on a team, I'm fucking atrocious. I quit years ago. I learned how belly up I went on betting on fucking NCAA basketball and football that I was like, I'm never going to do this ever again. This is like the worst thing I've ever done.

Yeah. See, I don't watch any of the team sports at all. Nothing. Nothing. Like even pro, like NFL, NBA? To be honest with you, football is the most irritating sport in the world to me. Why? Because do you know that they've actually counted it?

It's like 12 minutes of actual football being played in a three-hour span. No. You mean a physical action? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, then, you know, sports. I get irritated by it. It's like, okay, catch the ball. Oh, fall down a physical action? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, then, you know, sports. I get irritated by it.

It's like, OK, catch the ball. Oh, fall down. OK, good. Stop. Hold on. Let's have a meeting with you. OK, you say you caught the ball and you fall down. Let's do that again.

OK, guys, let's go. So what's the sport you will watch? Just boxing and MMA, really. Boxing is nonstop. You like boxing more than MMA? Boxing is always going to be my number one, but I love MMA as well. I was never huge on MMA. I enjoy it, but I've always liked boxing significantly more,

but it's only because I grew up with it. It has nothing to do with... Well, that's the same thing for me. It's very nostalgic. I just like it. I just like it because I was a kid. My dad and I, and I know how to call shit before it's going to happen,

which is pretty fun for me, because people go, hey, how did you know that? I go, well, it was obvious. That's what he had to do. Right. Versus MMA is a lot how to call shit before it's going to happen, which is pretty fun for me. Because people go, hey, how did you know that? I go, it was obvious. That's what he had to do. Right. Versus MMA is a lot harder to call. Well, when on the ground, I can call it.

Right. But up top. But then when they're standing up, because I'm like, okay, I see what he's trying to do here. Right. You know what I mean? And then with baseball, I had no clue there was a strategy or a game plan with it. I literally was like this. You think they're out there just fucking around?

Yeah. I thought, okay, this guy throws the ball. That's's his job your job is to hit it but what fucking game plan could you have did your dad did your dad like cricket when you were a kid cricket my dad did like cricket it's a massive sport and i never i didn't have the time or patience to watch it but here's a funny thing so royce was at my house during the world series and uh because he you know he won a world series yeah and he played professional baseball. And I don't know him as an athlete. I know him as this guy that hangs out with me and smokes cigars, right?

You have like none of that. No memory of it. I've never seen him. But like he's a really great guy. He's a cool guy. That's so funny. You know what I mean? So we're watching the baseballs on the World Series.

And he's like, here's what he's going to do. He's going to do the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then they're going to score. And everyone's like, I'm with these baseball fanatics in my house. And they're like, no, that doesn't make sense. And then sure enough, everything he fucking said. And then we're like, that's what they had to do. And I'm like, wow, I didn't know there was a strategy to this sport.

Big time. Baseball is, again, whenever somebody, whenever comics, I remember whenever comics, when I was starting out, you used to joke about like jocks versus nerds. And the irony to me was baseball is the most nerdy sport when you look at it. It's pure analytics. That's literally all it is. Honestly, it's genuine.

It's all numbers. If you're a real dork, you probably would love baseball. Is that why the Japanese and the Koreans are so good at it? Yeah, well, that's why they're so good at the numbers. They're not really great at the game itself because they're not big enough people. That's the problem. We've got a couple, but the problem is its size. Nobody grows better than Americans. We're the best at it.

We've got the most steroids in our food. Well, we're the best. And also, I should take it back because baseball is filled with fucking Dominicans and Cubans and anything. But we know how to force them through these systems to make them the best version of that athlete. But baseball is just pure numbers, dude. I mean, it's literally just about doing analytics until the day is done,

until you can figure out which person makes the most sense for what time period and what during the game. And the odds, it's the pure odds over what they're going to do versus this guy and how that's going to advance the next player and how what and the likelihood of scoring i mean billy bean did it in oh in the oakland a's you did you ever see that movie with uh brad pitt and fucking jonah hill uh oh i remember that hardball i mean uh um it was called that wasn't a hardball was a hardball what's wrong with me why can't i think about i'm never fastball

some ball. I'm so bad at that. Some kind of ball. Names of stuff and famous... Somebody said that to me recently. They were like, you pretend like you don't know Hollywood. You work in Hollywood.

Because I joked, I don't know Chris Pine and Chris Evans. I don't know the difference. I wouldn't know the difference. But I don't. I really genuinely don't. There's a lot of those guys like that, though. They're kind of like these pretty blank white boys.

And you're like, okay, well, I can't tell them apart. I wouldn't know. I'm not good at that like i say to to my wife i say to the old bag all the time i'm always like who is that girl and she's like you know that's so and so you've seen her a thousand fucking times but i just i'm not good at it i can't comics i know any fucking i could see a comic once in like Detroit or in Indianapolis. If I ran into him in an airport, I'd be like, I know that. I've seen that.

I remember that, dude. There's this kid I'm working with in Houston, this black kid, Jeff Joe. Jeff Joe? Have you seen him? Jeff Joe. What a weird fucking name. What a fucking name. Kid's fucking funny, though.

He's good? Oh my God. And does he live in Houston still? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout out to Jeff Joe. Jeff Joe. Is he opening for you? Yeah, he did.

I saw him online i was like i want this kid to work with me that's dope yeah he did this joke about um people using big words around him and how he's always using siri to find out what the word means and he goes yeah one of my friends called me he's like yeah sorry i couldn't make him i had to take my dad to the phlebotomist he goes hey siri what's a dad i was was like, fuck, I love that shit. That's great. I love the fake little fake up. Oh, shit. Yeah, Siri heard.

Shut up. Phlebotomist, by the way, genuinely, from the bottom of my heart. Don't know what that is. They're the people that take your blood. Really? Yeah. They're not called blood docs? Blood takers.

Blood peeps? They're not called bloods? No, they're not blood suckers. Those are called agents. Oh, right, right. And managers? And managers. You have both, don't you?

My brother's my manager, so he's not a blood sucker. Really? Yeah. Are you ever weary? No, he's not Dane's brother. He's mine. I was just going to say, you never know, dude. They could creep up on you.

Does that ever fuck you up, though, to think about family and business? No. Never? It's just me. Are you an only child? I have a sister. Older? Younger.

Yeah, so it's not going to work. Yeah. Well, I would never let it work for me. My brother's six years older than me. He's always been my big brother. He's always looked out for me. That seems like the most likely to fuck you over, though. Your older brother?

My brother, we never even fought growing up. And what was his thing in life? What did he do before becoming your manager? He's just smart. Just what's smart, dude? He worked in international contracts for an oil company. Oh, shit. So when I started to make it, he was like, well, let me look at this shit.

And then he started figuring it out. He goes, well, we got to start doing things strategically now. If you're going to do this, you might as well do this, this, and this, as opposed to doing this, going there, and then coming back. It doesn't make sense. It was like he really structured it did he live in Toronto and you moved him out here

no he still lives in Toronto oh he still stays out there he's still in Toronto does he have anything to come out here any like he's got a wife and kid there he doesn't

he couldn't care less and my mom's out there so he's holding it down do you have any idea to go back or no I would love to go back I can't

I got two kids and two baby mamas take them all yeah fuck that steal the kids dude i'm not a snitch i'm not buying that many houses right that's the problem huh that's what it is i always hear that with friends that i'm like if they have kids from marriages from before or whatever they're always like i'd like they can't leave that's like the number one thing they're like i can't go anywhere where are you gonna go until the kids are growing up and then you can go wherever you want listen my kid i had my son when i was 49 where am i fucking gonna go i know you i know well what when he's 19 or 18 i'm 68 i'm gonna move to new york you could why not who says no

no but i'm saying all right guys let's party let's party. Yeah, why not? You think there's not... You ever been to Miami? It's all 68-year-olds that are fucking living their dreams. That's true. Yeah, every time I go down to Florida, I'm always like, these are all the dudes that waited until the kids grew up, and then they were like, let's fucking do it. You're the new generation of...

I guess our... I mean, I'm 50, and my 50 is not the same as our parents' 50. Not even close, dude. I looked at a picture of my... My dad never wore a sweatsuit, ever. No? No, this is like not even like a sergio tacchini one no no dude no it was always like no he wore pele pele jeans and i think uh i think it's there are the generations have made it so that those old rules don't exist anymore. So being, I mean, fuck, when you were 40, you had to be like a grown up.

Like now. When you were 40, you were like 60. Right. You were old. It was like you're on your way out. I looked at a picture of my mom when she was 48. And I was, let's see. I was, she's 48. I was like 19.

Right. 20. She had a 28, yeah. And I was like, Jesus 48, I was like 19. Right, 20, she had a 28, yeah. And I was like, Jesus, you just gave up. What a dick. I said to my mom, I go, did you just stop? What did you do? Like, you look old as shit here, Ma.

But the pressure of life. My mom's 79 now, and she looks the same as she did at 48. Right, that's why I think that's my theory about Betty White. Betty White's been 90 for like 90 years. Like you see her. How old is she? Is she going to be 100 this year? She might be around 100, but she's, she's, she's one of those people where you're like,

God, how is she still alive? And it's like, well, yeah, because she got old early. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like she was, she was smart. How old here? Betty White. How old is Betty White?

Cause the running joke forever was like, how is it? She's 98. Yeah. Damn. She'll be 99 in January. Wow. God damn dude. And she's 98 yeah damn she'll be 99 in january wow god damn dude and she's still sharp it seems like yeah i mean as far i mean yeah there's moments too where like i watched that documentary about her they put up on hulu or whatever and i and she was hulu huh yeah i've hulu live dude i don't fuck with cable anymore i know what hulu live is tv it's tv you know it's i didn't

want to do um direct tv anymore right and i was like i'm done with that bullshit i'm done with like them be like i had like a thousand channels i was like i don't watch any of this shit yeah i really don't i just watch the local news right i watch i watch six channels yeah so then a friend the problem is to get those six channels you gotta subscribe to a fucking 150 no with hulu you don't that's why it sounds like a hulu ad no my buddy literally was like he's like have you ever tried youtube tv or hulu live and i was like no i don't want to do that shit and he's like uh try it once or use my use my sign in so i use my sign in on my tv it's got a hulu button so i sign in and i was watching live TV and I was like, oh shit, this is like anything I need is on here.

It's all the sports channels. It's like the Big Ten Network, the Pac-12 Network, like all of the college sports stuff if I ever did want to watch it is on there. You get like Family Feud? Bro,

you know I watch Family Feud. K-Cal, K-Cal is on there, dude. I love Family Feud. I don't particularly enjoy Steve Harvey but I love Family Feud. This is odd because it's me and my wife's favorite show and one of our favorite shows to watch.

We love Steve. I think it's going to be a good one today. We got the black family versus the white family. He always roots so much harder for the black family. He sure does. He does pander a little bit. I love it. I love it.

When the white family wins, he's always like, I'm so sorry. He goes and apologizes to the black family. sure does he does pander a little bit i love it i love it when the white family wins he's always like i'm so sorry he like goes and apologizes the black family you guys are really nice family yeah yeah and when the white family loses he always like bye bitch and he goes right and celebrates in the back family but i just you know what it is i find that he tries too hard to sound more country he's from cleveland you're not that country right he wants well he lives in atlanta now i know but it's like you know your husband and i'm like you're from cleveland hey man he's soaked up that atlanta vibe you go down there for like a week and you start sounding like i sure as fuck don't no you don't but you can't it's illegal you know i do new york i'll go new york when i go to new york i come back what's up b what up money yeah see see see so that's his version of new

york is atlanta for a cleveland kid i suppose yeah when you do you when do you ever go back do you ever go back to india and you stare long enough where you start talking with an accent because you never had one i never i was never even born there that's what i'm saying but do you adopt when i do come i do it's not so much accent but like head movements like it'll be i'll be like the mannerism why the fuck do you guys do the head thing what is that it's simple like ask me a question there's because it's in the eyes it's not so much in the head ask me a positive question and a negative question you'll you'll you'll understand the answer okay um you know how do you like do you like the new audi it's a great guy

now ask me a negative question how's the uh how's everything going with your uh child's mother Do you like the new Audi? It's a great car. Now ask me a negative question. How's everything going with your child's mother? Do you see? Yeah. It's a big difference. Yeah, it's a very big difference. It's like you could be out in public and not have to yell at each other.

Right, I get it. It's a little bit smoother. Yeah. It is interesting, though, because y'all pick it up. Like, I go, my stepdad is from the South. We go to the South.

You'll start hearing yourself say stuff. You know what I picked up years ago and I never got rid of to this day? I say A on accident, and I do it a lot. Like from a Canadian? Canada, but for no reason. But I think I say it because I like it. Like, I'll add it into the end it a lot. Like from a Canadian? Canada, but for no reason. But I think I say it because I like it. I'll add it into the end of a sentence.

Do you add it the same way we do? Yeah, exactly. It goes exactly where you would say it. There are some similarities between Chicago and Canada. Well, everyone from Michigan and northern Wisconsin, they sound like Canadians. So when I grew up with kids, when I'd meet kids from up there or go up north,

they sounded exactly like Canadians. It it's almost the same especially minneapolis well that's even worse yeah anything up that way is even more tonally has the same speech patterns but you know if they say yeah no well it's not that bad is it a and it made sense it was it's a word that didn't i didn't understood why it was in there but it was like well i guess it's like a question mark yeah it's like the huh it's an american huh yeah but we don't say huh at the end of it we don't some people do i know huh yeah i guess a mexican i know huh fucking fuck but and and canadians we say pop i say pop that's what midwest says pop yeah i don't say soda to me is the weirdest. There was a company growing up, and we only thought rich people had this

because you would see it. There was this truck that would drive through the neighborhoods, and it said, the pop shop. The pop shop. And they would drop off cases of soda to people. At people's doorstep? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like a delivery, pick up and delivery service.

Fancy. Glass bottles, and it would be like grape soda, lime soda. You can mix it up, get cream soda, whatever. And they'd drop off the 24-pack or whatever, however many you ordered. Whose dad is an executive in that neighborhood, huh? And it was the Pop Shop. And shop was spelled S-H-O-P-P-E.

Shop, yeah. Pop Shop. Pop Shop, yeah. That's fancy blood, dude. I had a girl in my neighborhood. You'd be like, wow, who the fuck has that kind of money? That's bread. That's heavy bread. Yeah. Isn't that funny when you're a kid that you think something some things are very expensive and then you get older and you're like oh i didn't know that was so cheap yeah i

didn't know my parents were that fucking cheap that's what it is like i would have never known my dad didn't buy a car with air conditioning till i was about 16 because he said it consumes more gas and and it does and then he never would turn it on. Well. And I'm like, but why did you get it? I mean, I get it. He's right, though. By the way, it does consume way more gas,

so the man is smart. I'm sure then, not now. No, it still literally does consume more gas. The engine runs harder, but it's minimalistic. But also, hey, man, the small things matter to Pop. Oh, yeah. Yeah, everything mattered to Dad. Like, did you yell that for the lights? Lights. I yell at people for lights in my fucking house. hey man the small things matter to pop you know yeah yeah everything mattered to dad dad like did

you get yelled at for the lights lights i i i yell at people for lights in my fucking house yeah i took it from my dad and right when i was leaving to come here i meant to hit the kitchen button but my house is automated and i hit the welcome button and it turned on every fucking light in the house do you have a thing on your phone yeah so i was like can somebody turn off all these lights i gotta leave don't you have like the hey Siri turn off all the lights on my house do you have one of those

I feel like I'm just gonna do it while I'm talking yeah do it yeah you can do it right now you know if that's okay turn off all the lights inside of your house right now well I'm just gonna

go through it let me see the app that does it this is rich shit Crestron Crestron so dope okay

I have manual lights you know what those are in my house oh yeah a guy named Manuel comes and turns on Manuel's the one that put them in and I have to touch it turn it on and off i'm turning off um what's

the next show are you doing any more shows or no i'm doing houston when a couple of weeks say it so we'll uh december four five six go out and see go go see the russ p december four five six in houston at the houston improv houston. Is it nice to be back in clubs? Stadium God? Huh? This guy's doing stadiums all the time. I always do clubs just to keep myself honest. Yeah, but you do a stadium tour.

Yeah, once I get my club run done so I can get my act together. Right. You know. That's the reason I do it. What's your favorite club? What's your least favorite club? I pretty much like all the clubs but there's certain clubs

I don't enjoy yeah bury them let's bury them it's mostly because I didn't like the way they treated me or whatever sure shout it out

they treated me like I was a fucking like middle of the road guy and I'm like fuck you buddy I'm only doing this to fill time and then every time

they keep trying to put it back on my schedule I'm like no I don't want that club. Right. Well, they learn their lesson. Yeah. So like there's like Helium in St. Louis. I don't particularly want to go back.

Didn't like it, huh? No. Okay. I'm logging that in. I'm logging it in. Yeah. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'll be back there. I don't like doing Alabama

Huntsville I was supposed to do Huntsville But we blew it out Because the tickets weren't selling the way we wanted them to Stand up live Which one in Huntsville? That's Huntsville That's where I was supposed to be

Oh bro I had so much fun I was doing a gig I did Nashville I love Nashville I mean those are my people Now here's the thing The first time I did Zany's must have been like 2006, I think, and I hated it. Really?

Then I went back maybe about much later, like maybe fucking eight years later or something, and I loved it. Oh, dude, I love it. Those are my, Lucy out there, I love Zany's Nashville. I had so much fucking fun. I love Nashville itself. Yeah, it's a phenomenal city, too. Yeah, I love Zanies Nashville. I had so much fucking fun. I love Nashville itself. Yeah, it's a phenomenal city too.

Yeah, I love Nashville. I love Texas as a state. Texas is, yeah. I love most of Texas, I love. There's parts that I'm not a big fan of. I haven't seen all of it, but the places I've been to, I really dig. Yeah, there's a lot of great spots. I'm not going to move down there. I'm not going to make the Rogan exodus like everyone's jumping on.

Who else moved out there? Segura. They're moving down there. Is he? Yeah. Fucking Tom. They're out, dude. They moved their whole unit down there.

But yeah, no. But I went down to Huntsville for a one-nighter after I had done Nashville. And I had a fucking blast. Also, I was like being a judgmental dick. And I was like, who's going to be out in this random little town in fucking Alabama? You forget NASA's there. So you're like, oh're like oh that's why i should have sold out better bro you should have i mean seriously nasa are you kidding me it's all browns it's all it's all smart brown kids uh i think it just might have been the time that it was booked like during the

pandemic well yeah i mean dude the pandemic has shifted everything i've i've canceled all like so many shows you can't people are so scared to go do them, and I respect that, and they don't want to go to shows because they're like, I fucking take care of my mom or whatever. So I've been hesitant. I'm supposed to go do Phoenix one show.

Stand-up live? Yeah, one night, I should say. Three shows. I'm doing one day. Three shows in one night? I have to. By the third show, do you start questioning if you've said this or not yet?

No, I don't give a... I fucking... Because I tried... Well, at least when I was in the rhythm before the pandemic, I had this hour and then I had another half hour. And it was great to be able to mix, mix, mix. Like, that was my fucking favorite. Well, that's the thing.

Right before the pandemic, right before lockdown, I was like, I got an act. I'm just going to polish it now. And now I can't fucking remember it. I tried to remember some of it. And now it's kind of irrelevant you're like yeah i said the exact same thing dude when i went back out and was trying new shows didn't you do whitney's backyard no i didn't do that i thought you did that no dude i didn't want to go to other i didn't want to perform in front of other comics yeah that's the thing and i'm like i got so weirded out by it i was like i can't do that i can't do that yeah i mean i already know that they don't like me so i

don't uh only two of them i'm kidding not fucking no it's not that they it's just i don't do that i can't do that yeah i mean i already know that they don't like me so i don't only two of them i'm kidding not fucking no it's not that they don't it's just i don't like the judgment from comic like i told the young i told a comic a friend of a friend had said will you give this guy advice he's trying to get in a stand-up and and you know the first piece of advice is always get out don't do it it's not worth it yeah i well whenever guys like or go away whenever comics like some a comic too much i'm like man it's not gonna it. Yeah. Well, whenever guys like her. Go away. Whenever comics like a comic too much, I'm like, hmm. Man, it's not going to work. Yeah. Well, these aren't the people that are going to buy your tickets, are they?

Right. But that's the thing I said to him. I said, don't worry less about what other comics think of you as a comic. If you want to be friends with people and create a cordial universe, that's great. But I was like, you should give less of a fuck about if they love your comedy because they're not going to pay your rent. You know? No comic is going to no comic is gonna be like hey man fucking i wanted to help you out because i think you're great and he was like oh no i get it but i understand the pressures of a young comic are always to be like you want the back of the room to laugh and it's like yeah sure but also like

they're not going to come see you they don't care no they actually want you to fail of course yeah they're more inclined to not laugh because then in in fact, most of the time, they will laugh at trash because it makes them feel better about how much better they are than you. Yeah, I can't believe you wrote that. Ha, stupid. Right, right. Oh, no, yeah. No, no, no. He's sweet.

Yeah, he's nice. Yeah, that was the advice I gave this guy. I watch a lot of the comics where we all follow each other, and then I watch how they all jerk each other off in their comments. Right. And then I look at my comments or likes, and i don't see any of them like my shit or comment i'm like i know you follow me though why the fuck are you following me following following though well for me upon a personal level uh i think all comics all of us should stop following each other because it's a it's a it's stupid like even if i'm friends with you and i like you

why are we following each other like i that instagram thing is just for fans anyway to me i'm not a fan of instagram at all well it's it's a waste i hate doing social but i do think it helps connect with the fans it's a waste as far as like comic to comic that to me never made sense and i did it because we all do it yeah but i wish i could put out a public thing being like hey man i'm not unfollowing you because i don't like you there's no reason to i fucking i just this is just for me to put out to the fans and stuff that i want to interact it's a business tool like if i want to really know about it's like giving another comic your card right here man it's like fucking i know you what the fuck yeah it's just a scroll of cards is all we had to say do you want to see my sizzle reel no no fuck no no dude i i mean i'll look at it and laugh i'll take it a sizzler that's about as close as we're getting to that buddy i think

that's the new rule we should stop following our friends as much because it's becoming this weird i said i said that the other day well a lot of comics are your fake friends too i mean i found that out over time and well this this i've had a conversation with a couple of comics the pandemic has brought it out the most who actually kind of cares about you or whatever or who yeah i figured it out yeah well i think this amplified it too i think this whole thing was more like and then you find out that there's people that really care about you that you didn't know that's exactly right you know like joey diaz fucking checked on me a lot yeah i love that guy yeah he's a solid fucking dude and in all fairness we've never actually hung out in real life but i don't think

that matters because he would call me tell me something good baby yeah how's everything doing how's the family cocksucker you know yeah because he knows because he joey started at zero you know what i mean probably negative more more than he probably started in the negatives you know what i mean like joey used to sleep on a friend of mine's couch and you know talk about a guy that made it from zero to wildly successful to building an audience when people have over the years tried to silence him or stop him it's really great for him to be like fuck you dude i'm a comedian he's a fucking great great human being yeah he is that's why he got the fuck out of la yeah hey move back to jersey yeah smart man dude at some point we should all

leave yeah except for you your kids you know what i mean you're fucked i i listen i think i could move to texas not because everybody's going there but because i know that my daughter's mother's boyfriend lives there so my daughter's mother would go right but it's my son's mother i would have the problem with. Will you have her killed? No, I don't even want to say that on here. I did. Because I know that she'll fucking hear it and then go,

did you hear that in court? He wants to have me killed. I'm like, no, I do not want to have this bitch killed. That would be the greatest... Should we get that part out of it? I don't want this bitch killed in court. All right, well, look.

We end the episode the same way. You look in the camera. You say one word or one phrase that ends the episode. And this is how everyone will remember you from this episode. So I'm off camera. Wait till I'm off. One word or one phrase to end the episode. Go ahead when you're ready.

Is the camera on me? Oh, yeah, babe. Potato legs. In here, we pour whiskey whiskey whiskey whiskey whiskey you were that

creature in the ginger field sturdy ginger like vampires the ginger gene is a curse gingers are beautiful

you owe me five dollars for the whiskey and seventy five dollars for the horse gingers are hell no this whiskey is excellent

ginger I like gingers