Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Sofia Franklyn
Episode Date: November 12, 2021Santino sits down with Sofia to chat about her exit from Call Her Daddy, we dig through her purse, learn about her cousin, chat about what its like to grow up with Mormons, fake butts, BDSM fantasies ...and foot stuff! COME SEE ME ON TOUR!!! https://www.andrewsantino.com ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS BOLL & BRANCH Get laid on the softest sheets you've ever laid on Get 15% off use promo code WHISKEY https://www.bollandbranch.com EMBER Keep your coffee heated all day and never microwave again Get 10% off first time purchases! http://ember.com/whiskey BETTERHELP - You deserve to feel better Get the help you need today from wherever you are http://betterhelp.com/whiskey for 10% OFF your first month Promo code: Whiskey CUTS CLOTHING - Premium quality with minimal nonsense Built for performance and to wear for all occasions http://cutsclothing.com/whiskey for 15% OFF your first order Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips Produced and edited by Joe Faria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show, to the show!
Should have taken singing lessons, but I didn't.
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Hit the notification bell, subscribe on the YouTubes.
And leave a comment below for the Al Go Rhythm.
It means a lot to me that you guys enjoy the show.
I try to bring a variety of guests to you of all sorts of factions and places in life.
And this one is no exception.
This is Sophia Franklin on the podcast today.
I've got her from her new show called Sophia with an F.
She was, of course, one half of the collection that was Call Her Daddy.
Doesn't exist anymore as far as she's concerned.
She got her own show, dude.
We had a great little conversation.
I tried to dig in to find out who she really was versus who people think she is
as this Call Her Daddy podcast chick.
I tried to find out a little bit more
and dig in a little bit deep.
And we had a little bit of fun.
So you're going to enjoy it. And guess what, man, I am on the road, baby.
You want to come see me, go to andrewsantino.com. I'm all over the place right now. I'm in Columbus. Then I go to Pittsburgh. Then I go to New York. Then I go to Philly and Grand Rapids. Then I go
to, uh, uh, uh, come on, Andrew, where else do you go? I go to, uh go to Florida I go to San Diego what up bro
and I go to Arizona
for New Years then I go to
DC Atlanta
Seattle
Portland we added shows
and
the list goes on and on and Vegas
Vegas tickets are on sale finally
that pre-sale code is Ginger, of course.
But AndrewSantino.com is where you're going to find it.
AndrewSantino.com.
Enough.
Enough, Andrew.
Let's go to the episode.
In here, we pour whiskey.
Whiskey.
Whiskey.
Whiskey.
Whiskey.
You're that creature in the ginger beard.
Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Gingers are beautiful.
You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse gene is a curse gingers are beautiful you owe me five
dollars for the whiskey and 75 dollars for the horse gingers are hell no this whiskey is excellent
ginger i like gingers ladies and gentlemen welcome back to whiskey ginger my guest today
is one of my favorite people on earth i say that for all my guests but i mean it once again today
it's miss sophia franklin thanks for. Thank you. Sophia with an F.
Thank you.
Yes.
A popular show.
Very.
That you're the star of.
Mm-hmm.
On the heels of getting off of another show.
Mm-hmm.
Do you want to say it?
I don't know what it is.
You don't know what the show is called?
Ring Her Pops.
What was it called?
You know what it was called call their dad
call her daddy i know i know he's fucking with me call your daddy and i fall for it i know
well you have to not fall for it okay so we met doing a show uh the first time i met you was doing
um fire in the kit fighter show yeah and you i was filled in for a host a couple years ago you came with your um now
ex partner and you guys had high energy and on the show i said this will never last
and i was right we're just jumping right in but i was right right how do you know i could just feel
it there was something about the i was something about it that i was like this isn't gonna this
isn't gonna keep going explain it though you guys talked over each other like every two seconds.
It was like biting for time.
I think one person talked over the other one.
Yeah.
Right?
Was it you?
No.
No.
No, I know.
I fall for like every single time.
No, relax.
You're fine.
We have a drink in here, by the way.
We're all drinking.
She brought her cousin, who's very nice who i thought was middle eastern and
she said she was peruvian same same same same to me uh we have eagle rare and blantons do you like
what you had kind of cheers by the way you said you don't like whiskey wow cheers cheers cheers
take a little sip sap of it and see if you like it good really good it's delicious right um what do you drink
when you drink you drink a lot don't you a lot what do you drink when you drink probably white
claws no did i say that out loud you don't like you like white claws really excuse me casamigos
okay what's another good one what do you like casamigos what rip as What's another good one? What do you like? Casamigos what? Ripasado?
What kind of tequila do you like?
Do you know?
No.
Blanco.
I think you're more the alcoholic.
I am.
Because I don't even know that shit.
Am I head in a whiskey glass?
Do you not know what we're doing here?
Yeah.
I'm not an alcoholic.
I'm a consumer of alcohol.
Right.
Me too.
I really like it. Me too. I really like it.
Me too.
You were drinking last night.
You were too, weren't you?
You guys were boozing.
Yeah.
Just you guys making a night of it?
You told me you went to Saddle Ranch.
Shame on you.
For people that don't know what Saddle Ranch is, they have a mechanical bull.
Sophia got in line with a bunch of 19-year-olds with fake IDs to go ride a mechanical bull
on Sunset Boulevard.
Do you get recognized a lot? Kind of. with a bunch of 19-year-olds with fake IDs to go ride a mechanical bull on Sunset Boulevard. Mm-hmm.
Aren't you, did you get, do you get recognized a lot?
Kinda.
So those places are nightmares.
Why do you, why would you go there?
I don't know.
But I didn't last night.
You didn't get recognized at Saddle Ranch?
No.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
I'm blown away because that's all young,
young party people.
I'm old.
What?
29. Yeah, but your audience is young not really
and mostly girls right yeah yeah because there's a lot of bros there i guess most of the bros might
not know well no they did they did do you feel like now you feel like because you're recognizable
and guys hit on you are you weary of every guy because you think they know you because you're
famous no that doesn't come into play at all no because like i'm not entertaining them at all
what do you mean what do you mean i'm saying like do you think guys hit that hit on you do you think
it's how much of it you believe is genuine or just because they know who you are i guess i don't care
you don't give a shit because they either are hitting on me because they think I'm hot.
Yeah.
Or because the, but dudes don't like hit on girls because they have followers.
If a girl is famous, it definitely, I mean, right.
It's probably bigger the other way.
Women hit on men more that are famous than vice versa.
But I do think there's guys that obviously are going to be more attracted to a girl
who's successful or famous.
Really?
For sure, of course.
I think dudes just care if...
You're hot.
Yeah.
That's the only thing you think we care about?
Absolutely.
No.
I know that for a fact.
See?
Thank you so much.
What?
Just drag it really close.
Just drag it close. Okay. Just drag it really close. Just drag it close.
Okay.
And pull it towards you.
Grab it like a,
yeah.
You want me to deep throat it?
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah,
that's perfect.
This is fine.
Yeah.
Okay,
great.
Don't you have your own podcast?
Yeah,
and I can like,
talk,
I can like,
be like this,
and it works.
Yeah,
but it doesn't sound as good yeah it does does it
does it it does but maybe someone's maybe someone's helping you out the whole time adjusting
it some guy's sitting in the booth with no nervous as shit no no they just let it go
all right is she on your podcast your cousin do you guys are you a permanent fixture or no like are you on the show every single week
yeah every solo episode yeah are you liking doing it on your own yeah it's been hard like it's it
was completely different than what i was used to but i do like it do you ever do solos? No Never?
No
You couldn't?
No I do
I do
Like if I do solos
They're for like a Patreon or something
But for the show
It's always guest driven shit
Alright let me figure
Let me figure you out
Because I don't know you that well
All I know is you had a bad breakup
With that girl
To get off of that show
I say that girl
Because I you know
Thank you
Legal reasons
Out of respect
legal reason oh i thought it was because you cared about me it is it is it is and you got off the
show and you started your own and it's still going well very well so you're fine yeah but you thought
you got you thought you got societally hurt by it like it was gonna like ruin your do you think
you were gonna have like the end of times where it's like oh my career is over absolutely really yes did you do anything drastic when it
happened i disappeared where'd you go nowhere but like i no one heard from me right now yeah
did you you didn't go back home or anything like that i did yeah i left new york went back to utah yes so yeah you did go somewhere you went to go be
with your family did it help yeah i like blacked it out kind of because it was traumatic yeah
you black so you blacked out all of it because it was so drama heavy or
i gotta go kind of what did you do while you were home in Utah? I don't even remember.
Really?
You don't?
No, I'm serious.
Did you drink the whole time?
No.
I just-
Did you go do outdoor shit like a Utah person would do?
Hell no.
You don't do that?
No.
How are you in such good shape?
You don't do anything outside?
Mm-mm.
Do you work out ever?
Not really.
Fuck off. You never work out? not really fuck off you never work out not really
sometimes do you yes i'm almost 40 i don't have a choice if i don't work out i weigh a thousand
pounds i'm so fucking fat if i don't work out it's over i'm about wait till you i can't wait
till you break through 30 you're gonna be so fucking fat i hope you get so fat i know i'm
gonna be huge i hope you get like fat i know i'm gonna be huge i
hope you get like five you'll be on 600 pound life or whatever and they'll be wheeling you out
she'll stay thin and they'll be wheeling you out and they'll get you on that scale and the scale
will say er er because you it's because you're aired the fucking thing out you're too big i see
it in your future wow it'll be sofia with an F and the F stands for fat ass.
Oh my God.
I look like a fat girl waiting to jump out, basically.
Yeah.
Is what I look like.
You don't, I can't believe you.
Why are you saying you don't eat food then?
Debatable.
You eat food some days.
Yeah, that's dangerous.
You should eat it every day.
Really?
Yeah. Really? Yeah, historically humans do way better if they eat food every day. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's dangerous. You should eat it every day. Really? Yeah.
Really?
Yeah, historically, humans do way better if they eat food every day.
What do you eat?
And how often?
I eat six meals a day.
I have Taco Bell for breakfast every single day.
No.
What do I eat?
I eat eggs every day.
Mm-hmm.
Yogurt, granola sometimes. Okay. Some days I'll just have coffee if i'm on the run and
i just have to drink a cup of coffee and go do something so you really try to stay slim dude
when you get close to 40 you'll see your body just changes when is it gonna hit me 35 30 you'll
start to feel 30 you'll wake up a few days and be like what's going on
really that booze is catching up my asshole hurts like it'll be a weird you'll just get weird pains
really then 35 you'll start to feel it you'll get more wrinkly right i don't care about the wrinkles
the fat let's talk about the fat the fat is what scares you yeah do you have a lot of sugar what do you mean do you eat a lot of sugar no i don't eat you don't eat at all we got to get you
some food are you let me ask you something real are you happy yeah you are yes you say i am happy
i am happy are you are you happy now because all that drama is kind of over with and you have your own show
and you're kind of living your own life now um i feel like i'm still working on it it's a work in
progress i'm not over it what happened yeah it kind of it sucks you guys don't talk anymore you
and her no never again no what about a birthday text happy birthday bitch no hell no
no never again no and you were so close isn't that strange it's for me but like not for other people
right don't you think you'll recon you that you'll you'll reconcile all that down the road
no i feel like there's certain people that don't like narcissists like they don't care right you know
yeah and you'll and you'll hold the grudge too or no I don't hold a grudge so you don't it's
over for you it is what it is absolutely did you lose a lot of money yeah you don't have to say
the number but you did huh kind of but I'm gonna make it back you are i will it's a lot a
lot right kind of i don't know what's a lot for you 80 90 bucks shut the fuck up that's a good
hit how much do you make money what do you mean money i don't know my dad is my accountant no he
my dad is my um uh like britney spears that's my dad is my uh what do
you call it what's that called with her dad conservator yeah he's my conservator really
yeah so i don't know my daddy has all my stuff so when i want something like if i'm in the store i
cough to call him i say papa can i have a snickers and papa says uh-uh not this month pal so i can't so i don't know how much money you know
exactly i don't i'm dead serious i have no idea my papa does it all my papa does it papa my little
papa why are you calling him papa because that's my papa he controls all my money from chicago
the red hair though where do i get red hair from yes you want me to explain to you how biology
works so most people have 23 chromosomes from each parent i don't you have 24 less you have less
whoa so i have 24 24. It's an extra chromosome because the 22 split.
Okay.
I don't get it.
It means I'm
smarter?
Yes.
Okay.
Got it.
That's exactly what it means.
I know.
I sound and am acting.
I can't say the R word.
That's right.
I can't say it.
No, you're not allowed to say it. That's what I was just talking about.
What? Cancel culture?
No, the R word.
Okay.
That was the extra chromosome joke that I was making there.
I know. I made the joke.
You can't say it.
I made the joke first.
Don't say the R word on my show.
I'm not.
Don't you dare say the R word on this show.
You were saying it all day before this.
I would never. I don't say that. That's insane.
But for real. I'm missing a few chromosomes for sure i'm sure people can hear it so where my red hair comes from is
my mother's irish my dad's sicilian okay that's why you're an alcoholic yeah okay and because of
life right you live enough life you're're like, I need a drink.
Have you ever gone sober?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I'll do it for big chunks out of a time.
How long?
Months.
I've done months and months.
Really?
Yeah.
I don't believe you.
Oh, my God.
Really?
That's so hurtful.
Really?
Why?
Why?
You think I'm not capable of doing it i don't know are you are
you projecting can you not drink oh that's what it is no i just did 50 days really why'd you have
a drink here then because you stress me out i think that's why why i'm not stressful at all
wait so you did have a drink after 50 days. No, you got drunk last night, you said.
So no, you already had a drink.
Yes.
What made you want to stop?
LA.
Oh, to stop?
Just because I feel like there's so many reasons.
What?
I feel like you just get more clear.
Yeah, it's healthier for you.
Actually, you know why?
Because I listened back to an episode that i was hammered
on hammered and i heard it and i was like what in the actual fuck you will never do that again
yeah you had to check yourself a little bit but that's good that's healthy then you know you're
doing something you shouldn't be doing and if it's out of control then you stop that's easy that's
good yeah so then you do have control over yourself i do i do did you grow up with a bunch of
mormons did you ever date a mormon no was your where your mom were your parents ever involved
in mormonism your mommy was yeah did she want you to be a mormon no not anymore she did when you
were young yes did you go to the what is it is it temple did you go yeah i would really for how
long what do you mean for how long how many years did you do it i feel like not like four
so you went when you were how old do you remember i don't remember but my mom threw me
into private catholic school why because she wanted to get you away from the Mormon stuff?
Mm-hmm.
Wow.
Yeah.
Is she still Mormon?
No.
She got away?
Yep.
I feel like it's...
Don't they get mad when you leave the church?
They exile you a little bit.
Yeah.
So does she have any friends anymore from the church?
No.
From the church?
No.
Yeah, they don't want to talk to you afterwards, huh?
No.
That's so fucked up. They like shove? No. Yeah, they don't want to talk to you afterwards, huh? No. That's so fucked up.
They like shove you out.
Done.
Did you ever feel like it was creepy culty when you were growing up around Mormon kids?
Because I have family in Utah.
You do?
Yeah, it's a beautiful place.
Mm-hmm.
But it does feel very Norman Rockwell like it's very like pristine and everyone is sweet and it's
Americana it's very like ask your neighbor for sugar it's like that kind
of thing that does not exist in most other places I mean it does exist it
just feels there it feels very like everyone is nice right everyone waves
when we're outside walking in the neighborhood where my family lives everybody fucking waves
everyone they're driving their car by and you hey it's un-fucking-real i know i don't i've never
waved at someone in la ever ever in my neighborhood get the fuck out of my neighborhood that's all i'm
like who is that what are they doing here no they No, they all wave. They don't know us. They've never seen us.
I think that's kind of wild.
It is.
I mean, it's a positive thing for sure.
It is.
I didn't really experience it, but I realized it with my younger brother.
Because he wouldn't get invited to parties.
What do you mean?
Because he was Mormon?
He wasn't.
Oh, they wouldn't go to Mormon.
What are Mormon parties like anyway? What do they do? Just sit and laugh and laugh probably they just stare at each other and laugh yeah probably because there's no booze no caffeine no smoking no anal no fist fighting soaking
soaking yeah they soak right they lay put it and let it sit marinate they marinate that shit
but i thought that was right because it
what it can't rub so soaking is a thing absolutely when you were growing up did you hear people
talking about it in the mormon community no not really but also poophole loophole poophole loophole
that's catholic started that though we did really, that's our thing. Really? Ask any priest.
Pupo Lupo is our thing, buddy.
It's a Catholic thing?
Mm-hmm.
Wow.
Okay.
They're soaking.
Yes.
And then what's a...
What's derfing?
What's derfing?
What is derfing?
What's a derf?
It's like dry humping, right?
Dry humping is derfing?
Mm-hmm.
That was the first time I ever thought it was dry humping. dry humping is derfing that was the first time i ever nutted was dry humping
really yep to like my girl best friend who was like my yeah she was like my best friend she was
a tomboy we'd play sports together but there was always like the sexual tension and we you came in
your pants yeah really yeah and i pretended that i didn't which was insane really she asked me if i did i was like
no i was soaking i was soaked it was years of buildup i was soaked and she was like are you
sure i was like i promise there's no that's gross i didn't do that that's insane and i had to walk
home soaking wet yeah that was my first that was my first time coming well no with a girl yeah yeah yeah okay pants pants to pants in here
we pour whiskey hey i've talked about uh mental health on this show often i'm a big proponent of
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Ginger.
I like gingers.
What's the other soaking thing?
Yes.
What's under the bed stuff?
Tell me.
So soaking, right?
That's when you put it in and let it sit.
For kids at home that don't know,
you just put it in, let it sit.
Right.
Then you can have your friend go underneath the bed and push
up the mattress like with their feet yeah so that there's like friction what yes because their rule
is you can't go in and out yes because if you go in and out now you're having sex if it just goes
in it's an accident yes so you just have your friend do it for you no i swear that's a real thing i swear to god yeah what yeah wow dude that's wild i know
did you when were you young when you lost your virginity um 17 that's pretty average i feel like
what about you 16 yeah when i first got I first got, when I got my,
when you get your license, you're bound to start hooking up.
That's what parents need to know.
As soon as you can drive a car over to somewhere,
you're gonna hook up.
Really?
Access, yeah, because I can leave the house,
you can go somewhere, you can go fucking a park or by a pond.
Oh, fuck, I remember that.
Yeah, I used to fucking park some ponds.
Fucking in the car.
Fucking in the car was great.
Did you ever get caught?
Yeah, one time. Fucking in the car. Fucking in the car was great. Did you ever get caught? Yeah.
One time.
By like a pedestrian.
Oh.
I'm going to call the cops
if you don't cut it out.
That's what he yelled.
Really?
Yeah, so we cut it out.
Really?
Yeah.
I got caught by the cops.
Oh, seriously?
Mm-hmm.
Where were you?
In like a random parking lot.
Of a police station? that's what you do pull
right into that let them know that you're there so you're in a random parking lot you guys are
hooking it up what kind of car was it um jeep tinted windows no nah they're gonna see you
and the cop came up and rapped on the window yep not and you guys were mid-fuck yep what'd he say he had me call my mom
and tell her yeah what a dick i know he could have just said go home i know but i called my
aunt instead oh smart so i wouldn't get in trouble is this your aunt that's like your bad aunt she's
yeah she's like come over and smoke pot at my house exactly yeah i like that aunt i love that what's her name can you say her name no fuck i want to
know why you want to hang out with her no i guess because i want to know that name because i know
it's a cool name it's an aunt name cover your mouth and go away from the mic and just mouth it
let me see cover your mouth no i'm gonna say it no don't say it if you don't want to. I want you to guess it. Give me the first letter.
R.
Aunt Rachel, Aunt Rhonda, Aunt Roni, Aunt Ramadan, Aunt Rasmussen.
I'm Spanish, so remember that.
Rosalita, Aunt Rosa, Aunt Rosary, Aunt... Mm-mm.
Come on, I'm going to get it.
Ratatouille.
Aunt.
It's Spanish.
Mm-hmm.
And.
Shoulder shimmy.
What is it?
I got to know.
Romina.
Romina.
Is that your mom?
No.
No.
It's your cousin.
Aunt Romina.
And she let you get away with murder.
Yeah.
Was she single?
Yeah. Those aunts are the best, dude. Single. The best. She smoked inside. And she let you get away with murder. Yeah. Was she single? Yeah.
Those aunts are the best, dude.
Single aunt.
The best.
She smoked inside.
She's like that kind of aunt.
Can I say that?
That she smoked inside?
What do you mean smoked inside?
Like she's an aunt that's fucking ripping heaters in the kitchen while she's having her coffee in the morning.
Absolutely, yes.
Yeah, that's Aunt Romina.
Mm-hmm.
And she was in Utah?
Mm-hmm.
And you called her up and you were like,
yo, I'm getting smashed out in this guy's fucking Jeep
and this cop caught us.
Yeah.
And she helped.
Yep.
Dude, Romina.
Shout out to Romina, bro.
You're a fucking, you're a real one wherever you are.
Shout out.
She pretended to be my mom.
Oh, and so did you have to get on speaker for the cop
and be like, what?
Mm-hmm.
That's so funny.
And what did he have to do?
Did he have to call his mom and dad too, the dad too the boy no see this is sexism 101 i know what the fuck that's fucked up that is
fucked up he let the boy go away with nothing i know were you guys the same age yeah well
you know what is he gonna do what would he do he would make the boy call his mom
or his dad his dad would be like right on i know
were you guys fucking in the jeep dude awesome you put down the back seat what was what was his
name why why are you making me say like so many names just because we're logging all this stuff
in no you don't have you can also make up names guess what no one will know wow my audience would
never have known that that wasn't it so at 17 you lost your virginia to a boyfriend in utah the love of your life do you still know him
yeah he's alive he's doing well he's gay is he gay you flipped him so wait after you did he date
other women yeah how for how long and then when did he finally come out he hasn't oh okay right on
so he's not gay no he is you is he married with a family now and stuff no he's single
and you think he's gay has he ever said anything to you i know how do you know he made out with
my best friend john everybody's made out with a guy named John.
Really?
You have? You've never gone out on a Friday night in New York and gotten fucking lit up?
You have?
Yeah, dude.
Catch me in the village making out with John this weekend.
There's other reasons, though.
What is it?
Give it to me.
No, that's fucked up.
Why?
Because I said his name.
Well, you didn't have to say his name.
You're going to cut that out.
We'll cut it out. We'll cut his name. You You're going to cut that out. We'll cut it out.
We'll cut his name.
You promise?
Yes.
Cut it out.
He'll cut it out.
So you think he's gay?
Mm-hmm.
I know he is.
I knew a friend.
We had a friend that I ran into in New York.
It was really uncomfortable because we had known him for years.
Were we in New York?
I think we were in New York.
I don't know.
And then we ran into him and he he pretended
like he didn't know us because he had come out oh really yeah it was really strange like he didn't
want people from his past life knowing really yeah people make choices and they you know want
to change their life right did you bring it up no just move forward you know what are you gonna do
like you you're moving forward right now the move forward, you know? What are you going to do?
Like you, you're moving forward right now.
The reason I asked you that on this is because, look,
we danced around it at the beginning before we got on the show,
but that was a hard thing to go through all that shit.
You guys were so famous.
That show was fucking huge.
How many downloads did you get on Call Her Daddy together?
I think like a million four hundred thousand.
1.4 million.
That's how we say it. Every million. That's how we say it.
Every week.
That's amazing.
I know.
So you guys got popular so fast.
What do you think catapulted that show to become so popular?
I think that we, the company helped.
Sure.
I don't want to say their name.
Marmaduke Productions.
Hey, I'm putting Chopstick on.
Okay.
Can we keep talking while you do it?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
You talk.
Well, this is me interviewing you.
So, look, the company helped a lot, but you guys gained popularity because your vibe was good, right?
You guys got along really well.
Yeah.
Something clicked really well. I think we had chemistry.
right? You guys got along really well. Yeah. Something clicked really well. I mean, chemistry.
I think that, you know, we were talking about sex and like very explicitly. And also there was not a lot of female driven podcasts in that regard. Right. You guys, there was, there was, but
you guys kind of were, I don't know. There, they, there were, but I'm saying you guys kind of were, I don't know. There were, but I'm saying you guys kind of popped fast
because it worked well and the vibe was working between you guys
and people seemed to enjoy it.
Yeah.
Did you have avid dude fans or was it mostly females?
It was 70-30.
Yeah, that's, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
But that sounds, that's, you know, 30 is still pretty good.
Of dudes?
Yeah, that's still pretty good.
That's huge.
Yeah, that's big. That's a's huge. Yeah, that's big.
That's a lot.
All right, put your purse down.
Why?
Because you're making me nervous.
You got a gun in there?
Are you going to shoot me?
What do you guys keep in those fucking things?
In our purses?
It's so big.
There's so much.
It sounds like there's so much.
Give me your purse.
Can I see?
Can I go through it and I won't show anything bad?
You're going to find some very-
Let me see.
I won't show anything bad.
No.
I promise.
I promise.
I swear to God.
Come on.
You are.
First of all, this is a fake Chanel purse.
I want everybody to know this.
It's not.
It's spelled channel.
It's actually not.
It's spelled channel.
She has a fake Chanel purse.
Who bought it for you?
A boy.
A friend?
I would never spend that much money.
A current boyfriend or an old boyfriend?
Current, kind of.
Current, kind of. Current, kind of.
All right, so in here we've got a Visa card, the business debit, which is good to keep on hand, and also a punch card for Galaxy.
What is that?
And Drapery, what is that?
Nails.
Oh, it gets your nails done when you go home.
Good, got to have the punch card for the nail place.
Yes.
Then these are hotel keys.
That's fine.
There's like five of them.
Then you've got lip plumper, which is fine.
I'm just curious because guys keep everything, our whole life in our pockets.
It'd be kind of nice for us to carry somewhat of a purse.
I'm just waiting for you to find something alarming.
This is just a charger.
Okay.
That's okay.
There's nothing in here.
There's about four or five masks.
Four or five masks and a $2 bill.
Is this a good luck thing?
Yes.
Yeah, that's cute
don't take it from me why would i i don't need your two dollars you look like you want it what
does that even mean look at you do you think i'm hungry for money no you want the luck from the
two dollar bill i have a two dollar bill so there's seven different hotel keys then you also have a
20 rolled up in here that was maybe used for cocaine. Was this maybe used for cocaine?
No.
Okay.
But who does this with money?
I don't know.
Someone handed that to me.
Oh, they did?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Because this is weird to give money like this.
I know.
That is weird.
Like when you go to pay for something and you're like, hold on, let me just unroll this
20 that definitely was not used for cocaine.
I don't know why they did that.
Okay.
Is that blood on it on accident?
Let me see.
Let's hope not.
At the top, it looks like there's blood really yeah i don't know okay then you have then you have a ysl wallet in here with
your driver's license which says five five say the weight 210 55210 you still have your utah license
you'll never see that's why you miss you really do love home no you're a utah girl forever and ever no can i show this what is this
what is this hey let me walk you through it are these fucking are these are the big ones they
look you know what the big ones look like mentos are these mentos no or alka seltzer no what are
well kind of a little bit what are the big ones What are the big ones? What are the big ones?
The big ones are for, what the fuck are they for?
Yes.
That's what I said.
Yeah. These are like Alka-Seltzer.
Okay.
Tums.
Okay.
And what are the little pink pill, the cute one, the little pink and white one?
Benadryl.
Benadryl.
What about the green ones?
Water pills.
Water pills?
What is that?
Because I had a photo shoot.
So that dehydrates you, so you're skinny out.
So you just pee a lot.
Yeah.
Okay, what about the white ones?
Is that what I think it is?
What?
Is it a Zanny?
Wait, let me see.
That big white one.
No, that's a vitamin.
Okay, what about the little kind of beige ones?
You're a fucking pharmacy.
What are the beige
ones no comment come on no there's no judgment in this room i don't care okay because oh they're
broken in half what about the little baby white ones those are cute that's a zanny maybe yeah
those are zannies no i can see the bars wow bars i can see i can see the slits so you know i'm hip
with the kids.
So you take Xanax?
No, I don't.
I don't.
I really don't.
Then how do you know?
Because I'm fucking alive and I know what it is.
And I get social references.
And you got headphones and a hair tie and a bunch of lip stuff.
This is actually pretty like-
Standard.
It's pretty legit.
Yeah.
Sometimes they have chaos.
People have chaos in their person.
It makes me sad.
Like what?
Sometimes people have chaos in their purse and it makes me sad.
Like what?
People will have like, girls will have like entire fucking like cabinets of like snacks in there with like food and shit.
But I get that.
I guess if you get hungry.
Right.
If you have bad blood sugar.
Right.
I just find it ironic that people spend tens of, well, not tens.
I mean, sometimes tens of thousands of dollars on purses.
And then everything in it is like junk.
Trash.
Yeah, it's like a mobile trash can for 15 grand.
How much was that thing, do you think?
Do you know?
Okay.
But I didn't pay for it.
You say that like you don't have never paid for something nice like that before.
I haven't. What's the most expensive thing you've bought yourself?
I, nothing. I don't. You don't expensive thing you've bought yourself i nothing i don't
you don't you don't spoil yourself ever no i save my shit i save money but why i'm saying you don't
there's nothing that you like there's no like there's no hobby that you love or thing that
you're like this is all i've ever wanted when i was young i wanted one of these things no wow i'm a jew ew get out i put everything
in savings are you jewish in real life oh you are in real life yeah i don't know if you're i don't
know if you're making a racial racial empathetic joke or if it was real so your mom is jewish
and your dad wasn't no but the blood carries on if the mom is a jew you're the one
exactly are you a chosen one?
Yeah.
How come you don't wear a Star of David?
Because I'm not that religious about it.
You're kind of Jewish.
Are you Jewish too?
You look more Jewish than her.
What?
No, no, no.
It's just because you have olive skin.
And olive skin, to me, always looks more Jewish. Why?
Nah, dude.
What? She looks Middle Eastern. you have olive skin and olive skin to me always looks more jewish nah dude what she looks middle
eastern you look like you're from the middle west of america wow you look like you're from utah
really yep no i don't no you don't because that's not a real thing what do they look like who cares
i mean they have a look but you don't look you don't look you know you said that before the show
we said that i asked what she. You look like a white person.
Even though you're not.
Even though you're Argentinian and what?
Spanish.
But I do have an ethnic look.
No.
Yeah, I do.
You don't.
I do.
You have like a, you look unique for sure.
You don't look like every girl in the street, but you don't look ethnic to me.
What is unique?
It's a compliment. You different you look different okay so but you don't i wouldn't go back girls from somewhere else really yeah really where am i from irish i'm saying if you
saw me on the street you'd go that guy's from irish from ireland from ireland i think i'm from irish ireland 100 yeah i don't i don't look just white yeah you do
you do don't be offended by it i'm not at all yeah in utah right in utah you look different
but here you look like every the p all the people that are here right i do but in utah yeah the most ethnic
person okay but you're not but you do look like it to them yes yeah where do you where do you
like new york love but you joked about moving out here you're never gonna do it huh hell no
wait why why so negative because i don't like fake shit, fake people.
Ooh, we have this combo.
You really think everyone in LA is fake?
You think everyone in New York is real?
No, but I think in LA it's way more.
Because where are the careers here?
Well, you know, this is a massive city.
And if you came here, you'd probably be a gardener or a landscaper
of some kind okay actors there's actors there's writers there's directors there's producers in
the business outside of the business you could do there's tons of stuff boeing is here nasa is here
what do you mean you could be an engineer you could be there are more there's more people that
live in the city of los angeles don't work in the industry than really well this is the fucking fifth fourth largest city in the united states of america so there's so the people that live in the city of Los Angeles don't work in the industry than do. Really? Well, this is the fucking fifth, fourth largest city in the United States of America.
So there's, so the people that work in the business is probably a couple hundred thousand,
but there's millions of people in LA County.
I just.
Most people here don't work in the business.
I think it just seems that way because we're all in the same little pocket.
But if you go down to like Orange County, nobody works in the business.
I mean, maybe a couple of people.
Yeah, they do. Yeah, but it's not as common as it is up here because this is where the studios
and all that shit are okay but la is huge people just think it's this time it's like saying new
york is just manhattan that's insane it's not right is everything else it's like when we're
talking about it we're talking about la you're talking about hollywood specifically yeah but i
mean that's what I'm saying.
So many people in here don't work in the business.
It's just all you know is because you're in the business is people in the business.
Really?
Well, yeah. I feel like waitresses, like everyone has like a side job.
We call them servers now because we're not sexist.
Thank you.
We don't say waitresses any longer.
What do you call flight attendants?
Stewardesses? sexist bigot the shit that has been said i'm getting canceled no you're
not everybody this is no people know that it's all for fun in here we pour whiskey okay look i
sleep naked i've told you this before i like it i want to roll around and feel free i don't want
any stupid restrictions and i'm telling you when it comes to sleeping naked you don't want to roll around and feel free. I don't want any stupid restrictions. And I'm telling you, when it comes to sleeping naked,
you don't want to cut any corners on your sheets, okay?
You don't want plywood under there.
You want bowl and branch.
Bowl and branch is amazing.
They sent us this stuff, and I was like,
all right, let me see these signature sheets.
And they feel so soft.
It's remarkable.
I'm on feathers.
I'm on clouds.
I'm on air.
I'm on the softest thing you've ever felt in your life.
It is so sexy, man. I do love it so much.
Because I was like, do I want to change my sheets?
I just got new sheets a couple years ago. I was like, what's wrong?
These sheets are fine. They were expensive.
Ball and Branch is incredible, man.
They make the softest organic sheets on the market.
And they get better with the wash, they say.
I haven't yet to wash it because it's pretty new.
And I also, I like a little bit of stink in there.
Comfort's not their only standard. They use 100% sustainable raw materials. And as
the Fairtrade certified manufacturer of linen, you can feel good about your ball and branch sheets
as they feel against your skin. They're doing the right thing, my friend. The sheets feel so nice,
man. It's just one of those things where you climb in and it's still a little bit nice and
cool to the touch and it doesn't get too hot, which is really nice.
Because Papa be sweating sometimes.
And the sustainability of these things.
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This is great as a gift or it's for yourself.
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That signature hem sheets from Bull & Branch are a best seller.
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I likes my coffee.
Daddy likes coffee first thing in the morning.
That's just the way it goes.
All right, I have to have it when I first wake up because it gets the engine moving,
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And I'm telling you, these Ember guys sent me one of these travel mugs as well as the
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And this is incredible technology.
There's an on button on the bottom and it heats up.
Down there is this little heater down there and it keeps your coffee at an optimal temperature
all day.
You're never going to microwave again.
And this is incredible.
People said, it's a little expensive, Andrew.
Yeah, because it's incredible technology.
What do you think, dude? It took them a long time is incredible. People said, it's a little expensive, Andrew. Yeah, because it's incredible technology. What do you think, dude?
It took them a long time to develop.
So, yeah, it's a little expensive.
But if you want hot coffee on the go, this thing is amazing.
It keeps it at 135 in the cup.
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I mean, I know it is, but I've kind of kept it at the same temperature.
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ginger i like gingers let's break it down i did this before the show but let's talk for real
okay you gave me genuine honesty about breaking up with that show and having to move forward and
do your own thing do you feel healthier now that it's over like yes do you feel like you're more
of yourself now than you were yes did you feel like you were faking something when you were
doing that show a little bit no do you feel like you have to withhold you have to hold up an image
of yourself now in life in general i feel like the show i I was being real, honest.
Yeah.
I really was.
I feel like now I have to tone it down.
Why?
Because you're afraid of people coming at you?
Yeah, because I got canceled.
But I mean, not really.
We talked about that.
You're still making a living and working,
and you didn't violate any human rights.
You didn't do anything bad.
Did you?
No.
You did not just do that's so funny she just held up a sign that said move the dollar bill that's so fucking funny okay sorry what was your question
here's what i want to do i want to be real i wanted to get real with you okay because i don't
know you and i didn't think i knew you from the show either because i thought you guys were just
being entertaining we were having fun and i felt like it was a little fake but i said you before
the show i don't think you are who people think you are and like you're this utah girl who probably
grew up in kind of a loving place with people that you love obviously you have a connection to family
and i think like the image of this like ditzy hot girl thing that you guys were selling might not be all the true.
Yeah, it's not.
Okay, so what's interesting to me is are you becoming more of who you really are on your own show or no?
Or trying to?
Trying to.
Because you still have to sell shit.
You still have to be entertaining.
Mm-hmm.
I'm figuring it out.
Right.
I don't really. You're starting over a little bit yeah i mean i jumped when everything happened
i jumped into my new show right like three months after you feel was there a part of you that
thought you might quit the business because you feel like you were taken advantage of no because i knew i needed i wasn't
i was not gonna go down like that you know sure yeah i get it i just think it's hard when these
things check us down and you're like well is this even worth it like do you still you still want to
stay in the business right yeah what do you aspire to do in it what's the end game for you i've never
cared about fame like anything like that i think that i just i knew i needed to come back and like
prove myself right right because like people were saying so much shit about me were you reading
lazy what were you reading all of it here and there what do they
say let's see what they said about you lazy should we pull it up no just give me off the top of your
head lazy okay are you lazy no what else submissive submissive no what is that referring to like a
dude tells me what to do any guy in your life told you what to do and you did it. Okay, what else?
Not true.
Right.
Greedy.
Greedy.
Are you greedy?
Yeah.
Okay, that one's real.
Yeah, which is a good thing.
Phone case.
Greedy.
Greedy Yacht Club.
Is that your company?
Yeah.
What is that?
Clothing?
Merch.
You gonna send me some shit?
Yeah.
Do you wanna wear it yeah
i'm an extra small i'm an xs insurance you're an xxl is that a fat joke no that's not funny
i work on my figure i can tell i'm an xs really send me a fucking extra small i'm not gonna say
it again okay so i want to see how it fits you i'll'll fucking put it on. Send it to my studio and I'll put it on. So here. So lazy, greedy, submissive.
What else?
I mean, there's thousands of comments.
Stupid?
You think people think you're stupid?
Absolutely.
But do you think you're stupid?
No, I know I'm not.
Do you fight any of that stuff back or no?
Do I fight it?
Yeah.
Do you argue with people online?
No.
Good.
Fuck no.
That's what I'm saying.
You shouldn't.
That's why when you said bring it up, I'm like, don don't bring it up so people sling all these words at you what
hurts the most be real we're getting fucking real i know why because i like it why because again i
told you when i met you you were these two loud girls that came on the show that it was chaos and
i was like this isn't who that girl is.
For both of us or just me?
I was much more
disconnected with her.
I think we talked
a little bit more on the show
so I got to at least
like go back and forth with you.
But I didn't really get
to talk to her at all.
Yeah, a little bit.
She was very kind of
controlling in her own world
so it was like,
not a bad way,
I'm just saying
that was the rhythm of the show.
But I just could feel,
I was like,
I don't think that's who you are. Yeah. In some weird way. That's literally why I said on the show, this a bad way. I'm just saying that was the rhythm of the show. But I just could feel, I was like, I don't think that's who you are.
Yeah.
In some weird way.
That's literally why I said on the show, this will never last.
Right.
And I was fucking right, dude.
I still don't believe you.
I'm going to play the clip on this show at some point.
Okay.
For the audience to see me say, there's no way this is going to last.
I'm excited to see it.
I made a joke about it.
I think I said, how long is this bullshit going to keep going?
How long have you been doing the show now? How many weeks? Like six months. it. I think I said, how long is this bullshit going to keep going? How long have you been doing the show?
Now?
How many weeks?
Like six months.
Okay.
I cannot wait
till this living together thing,
this growth,
this like,
do they hate each other?
Oh yeah.
You guys are going to fucking lose.
But you got to still get together.
You guys are going to fucking hate each other.
You'll be like me and Brian.
No fucking way.
Yeah, dude.
I knew it.
No way.
I'm just telling you that i know i remember it
specifically because i had people hit me up afterwards like you know those chicks broke up
that show shut up yeah 100 okay so what was your question which of those statements that people say
hurts you the most none come on man no i swear what stings what stings tell me what's a missus
this submissive shit weak-minded stuff unable to
think for yourself same shit though submissive is like yeah like you're just a you're just a
fucking pawn yeah yeah i think that and none of it's true fuck no i grew up with a single mom
i same for a little while and then i got a step papa the guy who controls my money so i men do not control
my life or tell me what to do put the mic closer to your face i just told you what to do and you
did it wow i'm just kidding i'm fucking no i know you are but that was good you're fucking good at
that yeah yeah so wait a minute so so you don't let people control your life and are you trying to
are you trying to show off that you're not who people used to say all those things that you were
no no i'm saying are you fighting any of that stuff on your own show to be like i'm not fucking
lazy i'm not a fucking money well you're money hungry you did say that that's true as i should
be what do you want to do with your money then if you don't like to enjoy it what do you what
are you doing it for saving it well for what the apocalypse i don't know you're gonna die but why would i spend it because because money
isn't going to mean anything in the end anyway so you should enjoy it so i'm gonna die tomorrow
okay you die tomorrow is the way you're talking about it no it's talking about it like if you're just saving
money just to save money and you're not enjoying any of it i do i do but i'm not gonna buy a
six thousand dollar no that i get i think that's a waste of money but if you people love purses
then it's not but i said what do you love and you don't like to spend money on anything
so why are you earning so much you don't need it?
That's a deep cut.
Vacations, traveling. Okay, so you take a lot of vacations.
That's healthy.
That's good.
But I don't pay for it.
Who does?
A guy.
Who the fuck is this guy?
I don't know.
Mr. Blue, Mr. Black.
Mm-hmm.
So this guy pays for all of it.
Mm-hmm.
Which is smart.
So I can save my shit.
What if you say, I want to go on a vacation by myself? Would he send you out there? Then I would pay for it. Which is smart. So I can save my shit. What if you say, I want to go on a vacation by
myself? Would he send you out there? Then I would pay for it. But what if you said,
will you send me to Bora Bora? I want to go take an alone trip. No. He wouldn't. It's not like a
sugar daddy thing. He's like, I'm coming. I want to come with you. It's not a sugar daddy thing.
Is that what he sounds like? Sophia, I want to come with you. Exactly. I miss you, baby.
Is that what he sounds like?
Mm-hmm.
Sophia, I want to come with you.
Exactly.
I miss you, baby.
Uh-huh.
Where does he live?
In New York?
Mm-hmm.
I live in New York.
Yeah.
What's his name?
Bark.
Mm-hmm. My name is Bark, and I love you, Sophia.
Bark?
Bark.
I love that.
So this guy's like, he does very well.
He does well.
And he lets you save all your money.
Mm-hmm.
Which is smart.
Yeah, but again, what are you saving it for what investing i know but i'm saying in the end what
are you gonna do with it what are you gonna do so you have no money in your bank account i have
i'll tell you right now i'll look up how much money I have in my bank account Let's look it up Let's compare That is another thing
Making me look bad
I have $78.18
In my bank account
You're such a liar
That's what I have
Okay
I was gonna show you but
Well I said available to me
Because my daddy controls it
Mm-hmm
Show me yours
No
Why?
Hell no
You make so much more money
Than I do
Show me yours
Bullshit
I'm not lying
show me
you were gonna show me
so just let me see
I won't show the camera
or say it
no
I promise
no
please
but I think it's smart
that I save it
no it is smart
that you save it
I'm just saying
at some point
you do have to like
do something for yourself
and like
like what?
you know
plastic surgery
yes that I was gonna say
I know
you actually need it
I was gonna say it
you definitely need it I knew you were about to say it what would you actually need it i was gonna say you definitely
need it i knew you're about to say it what would you fix first if you're gonna fix something
because i've got a list of stuff i'll tell you what you really why i wrote it down last night
really i looked at a couple instagram photos and i said you know what she should fix and then i said
i should write it down okay so i've got a word doc oh my god it's endless really yeah my plastic
surgeon this says left big make her fix left big toe.
That's a huge issue for me.
Your left big toe is repulsive.
You see my toe?
And I said get calf de-plants.
I want your calves removed because your calves are way too big.
And then extend neck.
That was one of them.
I said you should extend your neck.
Wait, I want to fix your face, kind of.
Yeah, well, I was kidding.
I'm not criticizing your your face okay
i'm not i'm never gonna get plastic surgery really what do you want this is this face
it's not gonna get better than this this is what it is this is as hot as it gets
this is as hot as it gets no i want to look old i want to get haggard really yeah i love wrinkles
i love laugh lines i like um my shitty face i'm fine with it yeah i mean
dudes can get away with that women can too if they're if they're if they love who they are
yeah true if they love themselves bad bitches can get away with fucking anything they can look
they can have all sorts of shit i saw a girl in cancun this week that was thick as a fuck and she
was wearing one of those thongs where her ass was just fucking all out her titties were out out and she was thick thick and she had fucking cellulite all over and i and i was like
this bitch is sexy as fuck because she didn't give a shit the confidence yeah you can't give a fuck
and you have to be hot about it you have to be like i like it and she looked sexy it was she was
so fucking and physically was not really like my style in terms of like,
she just wasn't visually a girl that usually I'd be like, oh, that girl's.
What's your type?
Under four feet.
I'm like, like three, six to three, 10 is kind of my wheelhouse.
Shaved head, good traps.
Can you tell me for real?
Tell me for real. I don't have a traditional type i guess my type my whole life oh you're like a typical guy yeah fuck anything
i liked i liked what i liked i don't know i couldn't put my finger on it right i would say
typically it was all it was like it was never blondes because my hair is light and i was never
attracted to light-haired women so brunettes has always been my whole life but that's only because like as a redhead
the blonde thing scares me right in pictures that wouldn't look good and it's also it's also
if we had a kid if i had a kid with a blonde woman and it got and it got blonde or red or
this white hair thing i don't know yeah you gotta mix no, you gotta mix well. Wow. I mean, I like having red hair. I used to hate it when I was a kid.
You do?
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah, because I think I'm a handsome boy.
I like the way I look.
I guarantee it.
But I became comfortable with it as I got older.
Yeah.
Yeah, because I look different
than every fucking dingus that walks in the streets.
Every guy you see looks the same.
How?
How do you look different?
No, dark haired dorks.
You look the same
no i'm a shining fucking light ask her she even nodded off she liked it she goes look at this
sweet looking redheaded prince she never said that she did to me with her eyes thank you with
her eyes you look like every guy the fuck i do i'm bright orange i look like no one you know every i look like every guy you know there's a leprechaun
in the room i have gold i have gold pots of it uh-huh i don't look like i look like nobody you
know yes you do how many fucking redheaded guys do you know with a full redhead and beard
multiple really that your homies with? what name one? I'm not
you can't
I'm not going to
full of shit
I look like every girl
as well
yeah
because you look like
a dark haired chick
skinny chick in LA
uh huh
nobody does this
this is my shit dude
this is my brand
I got a big
bushley
red beard
to cover up my
fucking flaws
and I'm gonna to keep it.
I've had a beard my whole life.
Do you look super different when you shave?
Yeah.
Can I see a pic?
Do the carpets match the drapes?
What do you think?
No.
They don't?
No.
They don't?
Because I know dudes with red hair.
So I know they don't.
Well, they do.
It's the exact same color.
No, it's not.
Yeah, it literally is. What do you mean? What color hair would my pubes be? It's darker. No, it's not. it's the exact same color no it's not yeah it literally is what do you mean
what color hair would my pubes be it's darker no it's not it's the same color no it isn't look it
gets less sun because i don't sun my dick anymore but it is pretty much the same color but i get it
waxed i get everything waxed no you don't yeah i wax my ass my legs i swear to god i get waxed
no you fucking don't yes i do I want to be a baby seal.
I love it.
No, that's for me.
Not for you.
Your leg.
Don't sexually bully me.
Show me your leg.
Show me your leg.
No, my thighs, I mean.
Okay, let me see.
I'm not going to show you that high.
That's private.
Wow.
You don't get to come in here
and harass me about my legs.
I wax because I want to be clean.
Why?
Because I want to feel good.
Really? I want to feel pretty. Why? Because I want to feel good. Really?
I want to feel pretty.
I don't like when dudes do that.
Well, how about when dudes paint their nails?
Are you chill about that?
That's a new thing.
So you like that?
Mm-hmm.
Are you cool with that or no?
Yeah?
You like that?
The dudes paint their nails?
You like it?
I love that.
Really?
Why is that a thing?
Why has that become a new thing now, I wonder?
Dudes painting their nails.
I don't know.
It was big.
I remember guys in my generation getting manicures was a big deal right right but now dudes paint
their nails i don't i can't i don't think i could do it it's not that i think it's uh lame i just
that the patience is insane that's true i don't like cutting my nail i don't like clipping my
nails is a thing i have to do you You have to? Yeah, everybody does.
I don't.
Well, you have a human do it for you.
Right.
Right.
Guys don't do that.
We have to clip our own shit.
A lot of guys get manicures.
Manicures.
Yeah, I know.
I'm not that guy.
Why?
Because I ain't no bitch.
No, because I don't know.
Because I don't like it.
That's not my thing.
The patience.
I don't want to go to a place and get my nails done.
It just feels like I don't need to do that. you'd rather do it yourself yeah okay and i don't i don't have nice hands
anyway so it's like i don't at this point i'm done let me see them no they're really bad
you should not have shown those dry and cracked and i'm fine with it. I'm not. Let me see your shitty little hands.
Let me see your little shit hands.
They're amazing.
They're okay.
They're tiny.
Yeah, but they're pretty, no.
They're actually pretty chunky and gross. Huge.
Yeah, they're pretty gross.
Okay.
Sausage.
I like the way my little nails are.
And I'm never going to get a manicure
and that's only because I don't want,
I just don't want to.
You own who you are.
Thank you.
I pee in the shower.
Really?
And I brush my teeth in the shower.
Really?
Yeah.
My cousin's staying at my house.
Look at, we got a family in town.
My cousin said, he was like, who brushed their teeth in the shower?
I was like, I do.
Every time?
In the morning.
If I take a shower first thing in the morning.
If it's an evening shower, afternoon shower, no.
No?
But the first thing I wake up, I get in the shower with my toothbrush and I brush away.
And I have a little spot for my toothbrush in the shower.
I love that.
I didn't brush my teeth today.
You didn't?
Mm-mm.
Why?
I don't know.
Do you skip days sometimes?
No.
Take some time out to brush your teeth for sure.
No.
That's a little yucky.
I brush every day.
Good.
Do you pee in the shower?
Mm-hmm.
You do? Sometimes. No, so not every time when you get in? No. I pee in the shower every day. Good. Do you pee in the shower? Mm-hmm. You do?
Sometimes.
No, so not every time when you get in?
No.
I pee in the shower every time.
Why?
I can't believe people don't.
So you don't pee in a toilet ever?
No, yeah.
If I have to go pee, I get in the shower and I pee.
No fucking way.
Hell no.
Fuck off.
I pee in a bath.
I'll pee in a bath.
If it's a warm bath, I'll pee in a bath. Okay. I'll have a good pee in a bath. I'll pee in a bath. If it's a warm bath, I'll pee in a bath.
Okay.
I'll have a good pee in a bath.
There was a couple having sex in one of the hot tubs in Cancun.
Okay.
And I talked to the guy afterwards.
Mm-hmm.
And because they got yelled at, they got a little finger wag, I think.
Mm-hmm.
And he said, we had to get out.
And he said, she also told me that it's bad for girls.
I said, yeah.
He said, I never heard that.
I said, you never heard that it's bad for women to have sex in water?
Why?
Underwater?
In a hot tub?
Why?
Chemicals.
Because a penis is shoving water up there.
It's not good for you, kid.
Don't do that.
I don't believe that.
Word to the wise.
I mean.
Don't have sex in hot tubs.
A penis is already dirty.
No, it's not.
What do you mean?
No, it's not.
How is it dirty?
My penis goes from the shower into my
pants and it doesn't touch anything else all day how is that that's cleaner than any that's cleaner
than your hands no how how is it i mean i guess it depends on the guy right what is he doing dragging
his dick in the dirt during the day is he pulling out his cock in a field and just running working
out sweat you shower afterwards and sweat is not bad for you. A lot of dudes don't.
Don't,
a shower after they work out?
Yeah.
How would you know?
You haven't worked out
in 15 years.
Fatty,
you don't know.
The fact.
Okay.
Sophia with an F.
The F stands for fat ass.
That's the show.
Check out her show.
Thank you.
No, yeah.
My butt is fat.
I have a fat ass. Oh, you do fat ass oh you do is that kind of your
is that your yeah that's your thing because i don't have tits so yeah do you think god pushes
it and it comes out the back it's he's trying to level it out and sometimes he gets busy and he
looks away and he pushed too hard on your tits and then your butt poked out yeah did you ever
think about getting fake tits no oh that's good never when you were young
did you do other girls have tits and you were jealous um no i mean yeah actually like high
school yeah yeah yeah do people make fun of you for not having boobs no i mean they're not that
small well you're the one that said it not me i'm just inquiring about what you said are you into boobs or ass i'm more into
torso i'm huge on a good torso if you have a good midsection i'm fucking in no i um i guess i was
more like a shapely body athletic i was always attracted to athletic girls that had like athlete
looking bodies what does that mean toned It usually came along with like smaller boobs
and usually thick legs and big butts.
That was always kind of my deal
because big boob girls didn't play a lot of sports
or it was hard for them.
True.
So a lot of athletic girls had smaller boobs.
So I guess that would be my answer.
But that's a trend, right?
I mean, this is when I was a kid.
I always loved athletic chicks. When chicks played sports, i was so turned on by chicks i played sports oh i
like soccer chicks fuck i loved soccer chicks really yeah i thought it was so hot but i feel
like the fat ass is the thing now yeah this is because people get fake asses right right when
we were kids you just had to grow your own ass can you. Can you tell when an ass is fake? 100. It's so
obvious. Really? Yeah, dude. How? Because it looks unnatural. The shape of it is wrong. I don't care
how good you're fake at. Like Kim Kardashian, it's obvious that's not her butt. Yeah. But it's
because it just looks wrong. Your body was never meant to have that kick out. But there's like
different types, like different types of fake asses. I know, but you can always, it always can tell because it fits on your hips a certain
kind of way.
Like your ass is built for the hips that you have, right?
100%.
No.
Yeah.
Your body frame, the biology did all the work for you.
So when you start fucking with it, it just is so obvious that you added a piece of your
butt because it doesn't match up with the rest of the body.
I think there's girls that pull it off off do you have friends that have fake asses
do you have a fake ass
he asked you and not me because you said you had a fat ass i assumed it mean it wasn't fake
is your ass fake no hell no all right. All right. Okay. All right.
I feel like you can sometimes not tell if an ass is fake.
I don't know.
Honestly, it's pretty rare.
If I see it in public, usually I'm like, that's obviously fake.
Have you ever fucked one?
No.
Never?
A fake ass?
Mm-hmm.
No.
Really?
Never.
Never.
I've never.
No.
I know exactly. That's why why i feel like you don't know
no no i never have okay i've never had a fake ass never had fake tits bullshit you've never
fucked a girl with fake tits no because when i found out this girl had them i stopped seeing her
i was i was so disgusted by her shut up she was like my tits are fake i was like get out of my
fucking apartment you love it slag you love it fake tits no real tits are way better why they just they just look uh i like the
little sag i like a sag on a good tit really yeah i like i like mother nature give me the gravity
pulling down on those titties i don't like super perky titties it doesn't make any sense
really tits aren't supposed to face the sky i love that gravity's
supposed to fucking take your body i want to like go have a bunch of kids do you really yeah so my
tits sag you'll get you just told me you'll get big saggy tits but then your ass is gonna get
fucking it's gonna are you gonna have kids with the guy that you're with i don't know would you
like it if you did i don't know i'm not ready you're not ready to have kids right now do you want to get married someday probably you don't have to you could say no if you did? I don't know. I'm not ready. You're not ready to have kids right now? Mm-mm.
Do you want to get married someday?
Probably.
You don't have to.
You could say no if you don't want to.
You said it like a...
I don't...
Yeah.
I wasn't...
Yeah.
I don't know if I believe in marriage, really.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
Why is that?
I just think it's like...
What is it?
It's a contract.
It's a contract.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I think marriage, every seven years years you should be able to revisit yeah
like a lease that's kind of okay so you both go to court or you go to a like a you go to somewhere
and you're like listen our marriage lease is up and you both have to say your side with your
attorney over why you maybe if you want to keep going or not.
But what if one side does and one side doesn't?
And that's sad.
Then you see it in front of a judge, you know?
Right.
But I feel like you should revisit.
You think someone should be, like,
you think two people should be with each other forever?
If they want to be.
If they want to be. If they want to be.
What's wrong with that?
I feel like after like 10 years, it's different.
Well, yeah, you're always going to change.
Relationships are going to change.
They're going to get harder.
The struggles are going to change.
You're physically going to look different.
Your mindset's going to change.
You're going to grow.
You're going to, yeah, your whole life is going to keep changing.
But I guess the beauty might be just playing devil's advocate.
Then you learn to like the new things that they have, that they've grown.
You like the fact that their tits are lower to the ground.
They like the fact that you're not as athletic and you have a dad body.
They like the fact that you're losing your hair.
And he likes the fact that you've lost your mind.
And then you like being together.
You really believe that i think i think
it's i think it's an idea i think i think it could be the reason that people last so long
but i don't know i haven't been married for 30 years so when i get there maybe i'll figure it
out but i'm saying the idea might be that you learn to grow and love someone and change together
and that's what makes you happy yeah but i just don't buy it you don't think that you think that's what makes you happy. Yeah. But. I just don't buy it. You don't think that, you think that's all
cockamamie Disney bullshit.
It is.
Maybe.
It is.
Or maybe you're so adverse
to like wanting to
really believe in somebody.
True.
Mm-hmm.
That's a.
The daddy issue.
That's your daddy shit.
Mm-hmm.
Where did you guys name that show
from Call Her Daddy?
What was that?
I think you told us.
What do you mean?
You told us where that name came from.
We, no. Yeah, what was the name? What was the impetus of that name? I'm trying to remember.
Oh, I was wearing a sweater that said Daddy. Yeah. And we, fuck, I like don't even remember.
Trauma. Hi. Trauma. You blocked it all out. Well, that's okay.
I'm serious.
Do you think you have daddy issues to the point where you date guys that are just like your father?
I don't have a father, so how could I?
Well, you had one.
No, I didn't.
You just never met him?
I have twice.
Wow.
Mm-hmm.
Do you have any photos of him at all?
Yeah.
Do you occasionally look at it?
No.
What does he look like, your dad?
I'm going to sound so...
Racist?
A little bit.
That's okay.
What is it?
It's your dad.
He's Spanish from Spain.
Really tall.
Hot.
He's hot.
Is he?
That's a little weird.
I know.
That's why I'm saying it that way.
It's kind of gross he's sexy
do you like guys that look like him yeah yeah yeah so you are trying to fuck your dad
100 the role play well you know i hate to surprise you like this but he's here
my dad armando come on in armando i'm here for you sofia i miss you so much that's not that was
like mexican accent okay spain is more of this like yeah with the s's and sofia i miss you
please come visit me in madrid does he live in this does he live in the states still
he's never lived in the state oh he's only lived in spain damn should we
go get him no let's find this motherfucker right what is he doing for money you think probably
nothing does he know you're successful i don't know damn if he did should we show him yeah let's
fucking find him should we call him do you have his number i could call his sister. Let's call him on air. No, are you serious?
You want to call your dad?
I would.
But then I have to speak Spanish.
Are you fluent in Spanish?
No.
I mean, kind of, but no.
Does your mom speak it to you?
Yeah.
So you are fluent in Spanish.
Not really.
Why not?
You didn't practice it enough?
Mm-hmm.
I was always jealous of people that could speak fluent other languages.
All I knew was German as a kid.
You knew German?
Why? Yeah.
My mom was a Nazi.
She was...
I bet.
No, because I went to a language school when I was a kid.
A language school?
Mm-hmm.
What is that?
So there were these language academies where when you're young, they teach you a second
language while you're learning developmental english so it makes you learn
two languages at once right so while i was like getting into english when i was in first grade
they were really teaching you how to how to learn another language because they said it would help
right so i learned the most unromantic harsh so scary german is mean it's so terrifying listen
it's like what is that what is that how many i love you but doesn't it sound mean
no is that what it is it's not
you don't go to germany go hey
i was i wonder if they have Valley Girl sounds there. Ish-le-ba-dish.
Oh my God.
Yeah, you're the Valley Girl.
It's crazy.
It's insane.
Nobody from Utah sounds like you.
You sound like you're
from fucking here.
Really?
You sound so fucking LA.
I think because my parents
have such strong accents.
You wanted to get rid of it
because you were racist against your own family
that sucks dude you're a bigot against brown and you're like i'm not brown i'm not you guys i know
how to so do you get really tan are we really having this combo yeah do you get super i feel
like it's not political politically correct to talk about getting tan yeah why that people go
to tanning all the time.
People sit in the sun, people tan.
I do get tan. Yeah, white people are the only people that want to be really, really, really tan.
No, I don't get tan.
Mm-hmm.
I get kissed by the sun.
I get French kissed by the sun.
No, my dad is Sicilian, so I will get some color.
Oh, so you're Italian.
Sicilian, yeah. Different. They're pigs. We're the pigs of the South. Really? dad is sicilian so i do will i will get some color oh so you're italian sicilian yeah different
they're pigs we're the pigs of the south really proud of it baby wait sicilians are we sicilians
are like the bad boys of italy they're like the troublemakers really yeah they were like the
mafia are you trying to brag yeah we're bad boys we're bad italians no but i don't yeah i get sunburned if i'm in the sun too long
but i've been living in the sun for 15 no oh my god oh my god i've been living in the sun for
20 years is this a real combo yeah how long you've been living in the sun because i moved
from chicago to arizona arizona to here so i've been living in the sun oh wow in my life man so are you obsessed
with sunscreen yeah i have stock in sun bum i swear to god i'm a i'm a fucking shareholder of
sun bum i don't believe anything that comes out of your mouth this is fake i know but you probably
are obsessed with sunscreen i like your redhead i really do like sun bum shout out to sun bum
therefore they make the best it smells like the beach don't you like sun balm. You're a redhead. I really do like sun balm. Shout out to sun balm. They make the best. It smells like the beach.
Don't you like sun balm sunscreen?
Love.
You've never smelled it?
It's my favorite.
Oh, it's so good.
I'm dead serious.
I really do love it.
But I don't go to the beach.
Okay.
I swim in my pool.
Okay.
But I don't want to go all the way to the beach.
Beach is annoying.
Do you put sunscreen on every time?
No.
Really?
Yeah, no.
As a redhead, I feel like you would have to no okay because i think my skin has some adjustment to it after all these years of living in it
but like if i'm gonna be out for five hours yeah i'll put some on okay if i go golfing i just
thought as a redhead that would be like an obsession to put the sunscreen on no i mean we probably should be
more diligent about it but me too like look at the japanese no i'm serious what does that mean
they have beautiful skin because they don't they they avoid the sun right like if you go to japan
and it's sunny and they'll have umbrellas and shit i was there and they all have beautiful
fucking skin they do because they don't fuck with the sun. I know.
And then they're right.
I know.
Japanese, they got it fucking right, dude.
They are.
They are.
They got it right, dude.
They do war good.
They do.
They do.
Their costumes are legit as fuck.
Their cultural shit is awesome.
Their costumes?
Yeah, their fucking, their costumes are legit as fuck.
What do you mean their costumes?
Their cosplay shit, dude. Their cosplay, she knows. Japanese cosplay shit is right as fuck what do you mean their costumes their cosplay shit dude their cosplay she knows Japanese cosplay shit is
right as fuck dude
you're gonna have to show me
you've never seen any of this shit? no
whoa dude I'm gonna bring up some wild shit for you
okay show me
your ex was Japanese?
that's amazing
I'm calling my dad right now
are you really gonna call your father in Spain?
My sperm donor.
Is that what you call him?
Like, what?
Thank you.
Out the door to the left.
She just asked where the bathroom was.
I know.
You're not going to call your father on this show.
It would be funny.
Call your daddy.
Call her daddy.
That's where the show came from.
Yes.
Call her daddy.
Yeah.
All right, when she leaves
the room we'll we'll say something we'll get real we'll get real down to fucking brass tacks okay
this get the fuck out of here cuz bye no no come on back whenever you're ready how long have we
been put your mouth towards the fucking mic i keep yelling at you like i'm a fuck like i know i'm
your dad i know i'm your papa are you Are you into that? What, daddy stuff?
Mm-hmm.
No.
Really?
Daddy stuff's not my shit.
Mm.
My thing is like getting abused.
I like getting beat up.
Okay.
I like someone beating the shit out of me.
I like stomping on me.
Just fucking work me into the ground.
You're submissive.
It's not even sexual.
I just want to be hurt.
Okay.
Like leave me crying. Right. I just want to be fucking tattered up. Right. So a little submissive it's not even sexual i just want to be hurt okay like leave me crying
right i just want to be fucking tattered up right so a little submissive yeah dom sub shit yeah yeah
yeah yeah really non-sexual dom sub it's like i want you to just beat me up and spit on me and
call me a bitch and then leave right that's a real thing dude i had a friend i had a friend who
uh i had a friend who was a internet i don't want to i don't know
how to say it she never had sex with anybody okay but she would do stuff like that for money
right she'd show up and beat up dudes or spit on them and kick them in the dick stomp them yeah and
they loved it that's fucking wild you love that no i just think it's impressive it's cool but yeah
yeah that's part of my lifestyle really yeah i just think it's impressive it's cool but you just said you
like it yeah that's part of my lifestyle really yeah i i give this one girl i know six or seven
grand to come in and just fucking work me out to call you a little bitch what's your shit then
i told you my secret what's your what's your shit well you're lying so how do you know because i
know what is my thing then i feel like you're into the daddy shit.
Like making her call me daddy?
Kind of.
Yeah, no.
Really?
The word daddy is gross to me.
Like when little kids call their dad daddy, I don't like it at all.
So you don't like if a girl says daddy when you're fucking?
No.
No, because it means they have some kind of
deep sad weird issue true and so you say it so me you say it huh not really no what's your what's
your what's your thing i feel like what's the thing you're really embarrassed about that you
that you do sexually that you do you wish people didn't know fuck off come on i'll tell you mine
i'll say mine go i play with my butthole you're lying i'm not you play with your own yeah ask for
it no with my own really oh yeah so what what do you mean so you're like fingering it yourself
and she's not doing anything why wouldn't you let her do it? Because I'm in control.
Of your butthole?
Of my own butthole.
All right, what's yours?
What's yours?
The daddy shit.
That is yours.
Not in a fake way.
Not in like a- Oh, you want it to be like your real father type of shit?
Yeah.
Like, make me a sandwich.
Mm-hmm.
Have me take out the trash.
I've never been the bitch that's like, oh my God, daddy.
No.
It's like real shit.
Where what? Where it's like yelling you for getting bad grades like drive you to soccer what do you mean you want a role
play to like make it actually like your father that you never had exactly go to the grocery
store and him yell at you because you fucking you got the wrong brand of something yes these
are order ida potatoes i said the other one that's kind of fucked that's kind of wild it is that is that but it fills the void sure
so you don't have to feel bad everyone should let their freak flag fly whatever you want
as long as it's not animals or kids i feel like it's okay i do too that's kind of my rule i feel like animals you know people a buddy of mine who's a or my friend's good like growing up his good friend
he was telling us that in afghanistan it was super common to catch these guys like in the
field somewhere like fucking goats and shit really fucking pumping away at a goat wow yeah
kind of fucking wild and no one says anything it's totally normal in society. Like it's okay to do.
Really?
I mean, it's not promoted, but no one.
Right.
If they found out, people are like, oh, it's what happens.
Do you think you could come?
From an animal?
No.
Really?
No, no, no.
What if the goat's butthole was like so tight?
What if it was a really sexy goat?
And it was just like.
She was super tight.
And she had that little bell. He had that bell dangling around yeah and he would just keep backing up and i'm like stop it cut it out i i think you
would come no you i couldn't i do think you would i couldn't i could just the idea is so gross and
wrong and yucky and yuck yuck yuck and stinky and weird and really yeah you gotta people i've been
into people my whole life yeah i've always
liked people people over animals dude really yeah that's kind of you've never done anything
with an animal have you no wait you said it like you have no no the only thing i do with animals
is love them sexually no and play with them play with them sexually i kiss my dog on her nose all the time that's my favorite
the only thing i do with animals is love them and play with them yeah that sounded like the
most sexual you made it sexual you freak i didn't do that do you have any animals yourself no no so
you don't know the love of a dog uh-huh you never. You just want to kiss her and squeeze her and then throw balls.
And make her cum.
No!
Gross!
No!
That was funny.
I'm sorry.
That's fine, but that's not who I am.
Okay.
But I do love my pup.
She's the greatest, man.
Your papa and your pup.
My pup, yeah.
Can you just call them like dog and dad?
No.
Okay, then don't. I have my own fucking language okay and don't tell me what i can call my dad you don't even have a dad that's very fucking true
wait i do have one you have a stepdad one do you like him yeah is he treat your mom good
they're not together anymore fuck i guess i don't have two dads what is that when
you're excommunicated from your stepdad what he's just mike or whatever the fuck he is now
do you talk to him anymore where the fuck did mike come from whatever his name is i'm just
filling in my stepdad yeah it is close now it's mark or some shit like that some white guy bullshit
you're like wild i know i'm just on it i just know what's going on i know it's scary tell me tell me so now
do you would you ever talk to you like if your stepdad was like hey i know me oh no i still i
have a relationship with him you do you guys like go out to eat and stuff and hang out
no it's not like that no but he calls like on your birthday or christmas yeah yeah and how long were they together um probably like 10 years
oh so he was a big part of your life i met he came into the picture when i was six
oh man that was like that's really integral years so are you sad that it was it sad when
it was over for you or you were like fuck it i didn't care why daddy shit
that's okay i'm not gonna answer that you can i can i know i can he was a great dad
some substance abuse shit oh shit okay kind of like in and out of the picture.
That's a bummer.
But he was great.
He was great.
But your mom's single now.
Mm-hmm.
And she's hot.
She is?
Mm-hmm.
Can I see a picture of your mom?
Yeah.
She's a hottie, huh?
She is.
And is she on the prowl?
Is she on dating apps?
Mm-hmm.
Raya.
Is your mom on Raya?
I got her on Raya.
No shit?
Yes.
That's so fucking great.
It's so funny.
But what are her age limits
like how low is she gonna go she go down to like 30 no what is the lowest she'll go 40 i think she
wants no actually she doesn't want older her age she's what 50 so what's the lowest she would date
i'm saying do you think what would be okay for you if your mom was like yo i'm hooking up with this
i wouldn't care if it was
like 25 would you be like ma no so the guy doesn't have to be older than you no i wouldn't care very
chill of you i know because i would say ma come on really yeah come on why just cause come on mom
what are you doing you're 50 why because you know 25 but maybe it's like he's younger great in bed just a fun thing she just
wants to hook up yeah like cougar but is she looking to like date again or is she looking
just to hook up is raya for her just like let me get mine dating can i see can i see let me see
her picture yes i wish you had a raya profile i would love to see that mine no hers she's on the
wait list let me see a picture of your mother i'm sorry
i want to see how hot your mom is go let me see oh my god i know and she's so she looks like young
she looks like a young lady she's looks very young she's very pretty i know why does she look so young
i'm gonna look 50 she's very she's very pretty oh my god she's very pretty is
that your brother you're taking it a little too far no she's very very pretty a little excited
in your pants dm her real fast no this no no she is but she also looks young because she is young
i mean she's 50 is very young yeah or whatever she is around there right pretty lady but she
looks young wow i like your mom oh look at the fin a little bit of a
foot pick out of your mom little feet in the sand that was uh that's obvious huh do you like it
feet pick oh yeah feet legs and feet love legs really yeah always my whole life i've always
loved when when women have nice legs nice feet something about legs and feet do you like foot
Something about legs and feet.
Do you like foot jobs?
No.
Really?
Yeah, because I like feet.
Sexy.
It looks sexy.
It's hot.
Holding legs is hot.
But I don't want feet on my penis.
I don't know what that is, but foot on my penis is so weird.
Really?
Why?
Because it's my penis and that's your foot.
Because your feet are walking around the house.
It's dirty and shit. You don't care about that. I it's dirty and shit you don't care about
that i absolutely do no you don't i do because your feet are on the ground and the ground is
dirty and then it's on my penis you wouldn't kiss the foot if it's fresh out the shower if we're
right out the shower then right into bed i'm kissing the feet okay but if you've been walking
around the house all day and then we hook up i I don't want the feet on my penis. What are you, nuts?
Would you want a guy's foot on your vagina?
No.
I can't believe I said vagina.
How weird is a vagina on your pussy?
I'm going to text my mom and ask her.
You don't want a guy's foot on your fucking gooch.
Why would I want feet on my penis?
Do you know how many dudes are into that?
I know.
And dudes are into weird shit.
That doesn't justify how crazy it is.
It's nuts.
Is it though?
Dudes like to get kicked in the penis.
That's true.
I knew a guy in college who loved getting kicked in the penis and his ex-girlfriend
told us to try to blow up his spot.
But I thought it was cool.
You thought it was cool?
She made it sound like he was a loser.
I was like, that's the coolest thing I've ever fucking heard.
To get kicked in the penis.
To be able to take it and then still fuck.
That's, that's, you are dope.
Wow.
If you, if you, if you, if a wind blows on my penis the wrong way, it's, I'm sensitive.
Really?
If you get kicked in the, yeah, I'm sensitive.
Was it his dick or balls?
In his area.
Just, you would just kick him in the dick a little bit.
But you're into that.
You're right.
You said it earlier.
You're right.
See, that's how I know you're a liar.
I was lying.
Yeah, of course I was lying.
I was lying for the show because we're on a fake show i know we're on a podcast show we're not
i'm even putting this out i'm not this is done no i know my attorney is gonna call you oh really
this shit is not gonna go anywhere who's your attorney can't say but i'm the lowest of the low
on his client list oh is he oh is he a big attorney? Mm-hmm. Ooh. Have you ever sued somebody?
No.
Would you like to?
You, yeah.
Why the fuck would you sue me?
After this episode, yeah.
Did you ever think about suing anybody
that fucked you over
or that you had a business breakup with?
Mm-mm.
You never thought about suing?
No.
Wow.
Never.
I've never sued,
but I think it could be kind of fun.
Really?
Yeah, it'd be fun to get, like, you know, go to kind of fun. Really? Yeah, it'd be fun to go to court and shit.
Really?
Yeah, you get to wear a nice suit.
You've never gone to court?
I've never been to court.
No, I went to court for...
Suing, by the way, sounds like a nightmare.
I went to court when I got a pissing in public ticket.
Really?
Drinking and peeing in public.
Wow.
I was drinking a beer behind a bar in college, I was pissing at the same time and a cop
came up to me and he was like, I'll let you finish.
Shut the fuck up.
He said that?
I swear to God on my life.
Wow.
So then I had to go to AA classes.
It was so trippy because the judge said I had to do 30 to 40 hours of community service
or something like that.
Really?
Yeah.
And then on top of that, I had to go to alcohol classes. to alcohol classes okay alcohol classes yeah i don't remember like what it was it was like
for people that got in trouble for substance for for substance consumption and like guys that got
arrested who are drunk driving were in there guys that got into fighting in public like it was public
intoxication but it was like classes about public behavior with alcohol. Did you make friends? I did.
You did?
I actually did.
Really?
And they taught it at a junior high near my house.
Uh-huh.
And I would have to go to this junior high,
and it was in the basement,
and it was in the summer.
And the stories were so weird, though,
because they would be like,
what do you hear?
It was like how AA is,
but they were like,
what do you hear for?
You have to stand up and say the whole thing.
No, they let us sit down.
Oh.
You worked in the
courthouse and you saw all that shit and these guys were sitting around in a circle and the guy
was like what did you get in trouble for and i said i was pissing in public and i was drinking
uh-huh and everyone's like oh yeah and then one dude was like this is i murdered someone he dude
he he got into a bad car accident and he doesn't know the outcome of the other human being it was
his third dui stop swear to god and illinois i think is the same human being. It was his third DUI. Stop. Swear to God.
And Illinois, I think, is the same as...
Oh, no, that was in Arizona.
Well, the prime was in Arizona, but I had to serve in Illinois.
But in California, it's a three-strike law.
So if you do three...
If you get three things like that heavy on your...
You get your license taken away forever.
Three DUIs?
Well, three...
Whatever that...
Like, the level of points.
Like, the high...
You know what I mean?
Like, if you have, like... You know, right. You get a lot of points if you double the speed limit it's uh
right reckless driving right if you do those things like three times you get your license
taken away forever i've done that here in california no in utah that's what i'm saying
we have a three strike law here okay you can't fuck up on you can't fuck up on the most
egregious of the traffic laws three times which is speeding no but no no
reckless is double the speed limit that's crazy that's like if you're losing your mind that's
true which i have one i do too i got one on accident in nevada on accident yeah i was driving
to a gig i was doing stand-up i was 24 years old and i had no money and i was late and i was only
i was gonna make like 180 bucks and i needed it and I was driving like 120 miles an hour
in a fucking Hyundai Sonata
and they pulled me over.
120.
It was as fast as it could go.
It was like,
the needle was going like this.
Wow.
Yeah, it was so stupid.
You're a criminal.
I'm a criminal.
Oh, fuck.
What is that song?
I love that song.
Yeah, she was a criminal.
Yes.
Who sings it?
Proof, proof, proof. Is his Who sings it? Proof.
Proof.
Proof.
Is his name Proof?
Proof?
Oh, I like that song so much.
You're right.
Me too.
Yeah, she was a criminal.
Yeah, last night I was a criminal.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
The Predator.
Me checking my tag.
Prof.
Prof.
P-R-O-F.
Okay.
That was close.
I said Proof.
I'm going to add it to my playlist. Prof, prof, P-R-O-F. Okay. That was close. I said proof. I'm going to add it to my playlist.
Prof.
Look, I think we reached some new heights in this.
I got some honesty out of you.
Yeah.
Some real shit.
Whoa.
You don't really do that on your show.
Daddy issues, role play.
What else?
I think I'm right when I said before the show that you're not all those things that people
might say about you.
I'm not.
You seem like a sweet, nice person.
Your cousin was a good girl.
She definitely did well in school.
You did, didn't you?
She was a fucking good student.
Were you, for real?
A plus.
You were not.
You were not.
Hell no.
You were a B student.
You had a couple of Cs dusted in there.
A little bit of cinnamon.
But I'm not an idiot.
I'm smart.
No, I was a B and C kid too.
Really? Yeah, and then I went a b and c kid too really yeah and
then i went to college and then you know then i got a's and b's because it was what i wanted to do
really i didn't go to a good school should we compare sat scores we don't take sat in illinois
we take acts okay let's compare all right you don't have to look at your phone to know what
was yours 20 he's trying to lie no no 26 maybe really no it's not
no it's not no no it's pretty good no it's out of oh 36 yeah no that's not that good it's pretty
a lot of kids in my school were up like 29 and 30s that's good that's when you're smart no 26
right 26 what is you 22 what? What were you? 24.
All right.
So I, all right.
That's, wait, hold on.
Let me see.
So you're smarter.
No.
Did you try though?
Did you study?
When I was in high school, I didn't try much and I, teachers didn't like me because I would do well.
I would just get Bs and I was never present.
Got it.
So they were like, you're distracting to other students.
Right.
And they hated it.
Right.
And all I wanted to do was have fun. I could see that that and then i went to college and i took classes that i loved
and i got a's because it was shit i like right so i wanted to be there because high school is
bullshit it is high school college no college is legit if you if you if you go for shit that you
want to fucking learn college just to go to college is bullshit yeah but if you go and you're like yo
i'm interested in these things i want to do that stuff then it's so legit then it's totally worth
it really though yeah 100 but how much is college like on average i mean let's look it up i think
the average tuition for like a what a state in-state school for an in-state student if you
go out of state at a non-state school yeah yeah, it's going to be pricey. Private schools are expensive.
Right.
What's the national average
for in-state...
What's the national average
for in-state tuition?
All right, so let's find out
what it is.
What's the national average
for in-state tuition is...
Okay, in-state around...
In California, it's nine grand.
Okay.
Ten in Colorado,
12 Connecticut, 12 Delaware. Do you think... Out of state is 30 grand. Way, in California is nine grand. Okay. 10 in Colorado, 12 Connecticut, 12 Delaware.
Out-of-state is 30 grand.
Way, way more.
Way more.
Do you really think it helps a career?
Totally.
Because I don't.
Depends on what your career is.
Yeah, but you're a fucking goofball who talks for a living.
That's true.
Our careers are fake.
100%.
You know, we're, well, we're not the same, you and I.
But I mean, like like what you do in
entertainment is yeah you can't learn that in college that's that's self-taught and and
innate and there's something natural about it but yeah i mean if you want to be a fucking
engineer you got to go to school if you want to be a doctor a dentist a lawyer a vet a vet uh uh
i guess sales you might you might you might want to go to business school if you want to be a good salesman. No, sales?
Hell no.
That's an innate thing.
Sales?
Yeah.
I think part of it,
but some of it is learning the business world.
Yeah, true.
Terminology and learning about statistics,
learning about macro and microeconomics,
learning what the word ROI means.
Ooh, he's mansplaining a little bit.
A little bit.
No, I'm not. I'm manspreading little bit no i'm not i'm manspreading too under underneath here i'm manspreading no i'm not i'm not what does roi mean do you know what
that means no see what i mean like that's good for the business guys what is it return on investment
but that's that's they need to learn that stuff for what because then you learn the way that you learn the ins and outs of business communication.
Mm-hmm.
You know what I mean?
I mean, Wolf of Wall Street.
What a fucking movie.
Did he go to college?
No.
No, that's one dude.
There's a lot like that.
Is that what your new boyfriend is?
Is he a Wolf of Wall Street?
Maybe.
Is he?
Maybe.
Is he a bad boy on the Wall Street floor is he taking numbers on the wall street floor you want to meet him yeah i would
love to is he in la no oh i'd say let's go to dinner he just left oh he did oh he's doing cool
shit here what can i know or you can't tell i can what. What is he doing here? Off air. Okay.
I mean, none of this is being released.
Yeah, none of it.
No, I'm dead serious.
No, no, none of it.
So I guess I could say it.
Don't say it if you don't want it on the show.
Okay.
But I do want to know what he does.
I will not disclose that. Yeah, you don't have to disclose it right now.
Mm-mm.
All right, look.
Mm-hmm.
We're done.
We got to get you back in your car yep and get you floating
back to your little area that you're doing whatever you're doing in la why did you come to la
for shows i went on two shows photo shoot what shows did you do um lala kent and dear media La La Kent and Dear Media. What?
Alexis Haynes.
Who's that?
I don't know who that is.
The bling ring.
The bling ring.
The girls that robbed.
Who did they rob?
Paris Hilton.
Yes.
So sick.
I love Orlando Bloom.
Would you have stolen from Orlando?
No.
I wouldn't do that to him.
You're not a thief, are you? Do you? What what you're not a thief i said are you absolutely i am oh you are a thief yeah what have you stolen a ton of shit what's your favorite
thing to steal clothes yeah you steal clothes but not now when i was younger well when you're
in high school did you do that shit a bunch what else did you were in high school, did you do that shit? A bunch. What else did you do in high school
that was bad like that?
Did you do other bad stuff
you weren't supposed to do?
Are you being serious?
Yeah, were you a bad girl?
You really don't know me.
You were a bad kid.
Very bad.
Very.
Like what did you do?
You accidentally killed someone
or hurt someone bad?
No.
I sold drugs.
We all sold drugs.
Really?
Yeah, everybody sold drugs.
Really?
In high school to make ends meet, you know, everyone sells a little bit of weed or a little bit of coke or you sold them i sold weed
i love selling weed weed was really yeah so i made money wow yeah i sold weed and i used to i used to
put it in my fucking uh the case for the removable head cover for your for your fucking cd player you
know we used to be able to attach those in the case they used to come and i would have fucking i don't know three or four
aces in there and i would sell it at school and then i go back in my car and get more weed if i
ran out really yeah it was actually a good living i used to sell it out of the drive-thru window
of the coffee shop i worked at my buddy used to do that my buddy fucking carlin used to do that
yeah he used to sell at uh oh what was it called starbucks no no it was it was like a it's a california food place i can't
remember the it's called uh fuck he said it a bunch anyway he used to sell it from through
the window too that's smart through the window is good it is you make a coin yeah yeah i did
very smart beans and brews beans and brews that's what it was called yes you were the plug at beans and brews uh-huh and how did people Uh-huh. That's what it was called? Yes. You were the plug at Beans and Brews?
Uh-huh.
And how did people know to get the shit from you?
It was all word of mouth?
Yeah.
But when people pull up to the window, were you like, hey, what can I get for you?
No.
Double latte, da-da-da.
Was there code for weed?
No.
I mean, I would be texting them.
But the funny thing is we had a scale to weigh the coffee beans.
So you weighed your weed? weighed my coke oh you're
selling coke too yeah oh bitch you were you were shouting it out so i'm like how many people
got coffee that probably had like blow in it that's well just a little bit of bump for your
day start your day right so you sold weed and Coke to the window? What else? Just Coke. Oh, no weed. Just Coke.
So you were making fucking money.
I was.
How long did you sell Coke?
For like a year.
That's fine.
You got out.
Yeah.
You never got caught.
Never.
Except for right now.
Right now.
Fly them in.
Yes, exactly.
But you don't, but you never touched the stuff.
You only sold it.
I don't do that.
I don't fuck with it.
Even back then you didn't. Back then you didn't sniff a little product no to make sure it was good no don't
get high on your own supply i never did on your own supply unless you want to try that's the phrase
unless you want to try but i've never wanted to never you don't use any drugs now no weed
no i hate weed.
Molly?
No.
I mean, I've tried it.
You'll have a little bit of Molly here and there.
Not for like years.
Ketamine?
I've tried that.
Ketamine's fun.
I don't like it.
Meth?
No.
Crack?
On accident.
You tried crack on accident?
Mm-hmm.
How?
I thought it was Coke.
And so you smoked it? And i just said i've never done
coke ever right this girl sprinkled some coke on tinfoil this is when i was younger i don't do coke
now okay no it's fine okay there's no judgment and she was like let's do coke. Sure. And I was an idiot. And we smoked it.
And then later on, she was like, oh, I added baking soda.
It was crack.
But I thought it was just Coke.
But did you like it?
Loved it.
Pretty good, huh?
It was like-
There's nothing like smoking crack.
Nothing like it.
It's the best.
I could have dominated the world.
I could have gone for hours yeah hitler that's what
he did really hitler was on meth methamphetamine was was one hitler gave it to his soldiers and
everything too the nazis were on meth are you serious swear to god holy shit it was a meth head
man that's why he was so amped up all the time wow yeah he was a fucking juiced up i'm gonna get on
that shit on hitler shit on meth shit going to say, you're a Jew.
I don't know if you want to be on Hitler shit.
The meth thing though.
You do want to get on meth?
Yeah.
My career is going to like take off.
If anybody out there is a big meth dealer,
can you please send some to Sophia?
She is in the market for some meth.
Thank you.
Please.
I'll give you my PO box.
Well,
good.
We'll get you hooked on meth.
I appreciate you coming to the show thank you i
think we got some good stuff out of it a lot i think it's really nice that's all gonna be deleted
no it's not it was so nice to meet your cousin because she's very sweet she is she's the fucking
best she is i can feel her vibe is really good her just she seems like a good person like deep
down yeah she seems like she uh-oh she is yeah she's she's ready to get on she's
coming on next thank you so much thank you for coming thank you listen to uh sophia with an f
and um if you want anything more from you merch wise and all that bullshit just go to your website
which is what sophia franklin.com sophia with an an F Franklin with a Y dot com
follow me on socials
follow her on socials
I have a big butt
you'll love it
oh do you post a lot of your big tushy on there
I don't follow
I should follow you on Instagram
I don't follow you either
alright we won't then
we'll stay
not following each other
I think that's fair
okay
you don't want to see my pictures
it's just me
you know
me being me
yeah
I don't want to see that
yeah you don't want to see that stuff
no
follow you listen to your podcast i appreciate you coming looking to that camera
right there you're single and i want you to say i'm single no you're not we heard you're not i'm
saying you look into your single okay you do whatever you want okay guys if you're out there
looking for and you've got money to fly her places she wants you i'm not a sugar baby you
sounded like it when you said he flies you all over the place.
Well, I save my money.
Okay.
But I don't need to.
I respect that.
Look into that camera
and say one word or one phrase
to end the episode.
It's going to end the episode.
So look in that camera,
one word or one phrase
when you're ready.
Put a fat rabbit
on a craftmatic.
In here,
we pour whisk,
whisk,
whisk,
whisk,
whisk.
You're that creature in the ginger beard.
Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Gingers are beautiful.
You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.
Gingers are hell no.
This whiskey is excellent.
Ginger. I like gingers.