Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Trevor Wallace

Episode Date: December 8, 2023

The very funny Tee Dubs is back on the show for some more shenanigans. Santino shows Trevor some of George Dub Bush's greatest presidential hits, and they discuss some stinkers in automotive history. Sorry Aztek & Stratus drivers. This one is all over the map. Sit back and enjoy! Oh, one more thing. Be sure to check out Trevor Wallace's new special Pterodactyl out right now on Amazon Prime! #trevorwallace #andrewsantino #whiskeyginger #podcast ================================================ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS RABBIT HOLE $5 OFF with Promo Code: WHISKEY https://rabbitholedistillery.com/drizly SQUARESPACE Get that site up and running now! 10% off your order https://squarespace.com/whiskey ============================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. We got a good one for you today. Like my man Steve Harvey done say, it's Trevor Wallace. Trev Wallace is on the podcast. He's got a special out right now. Go check it out. It's Pterodactyl. If you know how to spell it, you get extra points. Very, very funny dude. Go watch Trevor Wallace's brand new special out and available right now on MSN. Also, I'm on the road, baby. Me and Bobby Lee are finishing up the Bad Friends Tour. This weekend, we're in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and in Madison, Wisconsin. Those last two dates of this year, then we're done until the end of January 2024. We go down to Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Then we do Temecula and Reno and Tucson, Sacramento. We're all over the place. Long Beach, come see about me and Bobby Lee. Go to badfriendspod.com. Badfriendspod.com for those tickets. Enough rambling from me. Let's go to the episode. In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk.

You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. I like gingers. because I was like, who's this fucking good-looking fucking cool kid? Fuck this guy. You still intimidate me, which is so cool. And I want that, dude. How old are you now? 30. God, dude. So you could kick me in the rib and I might lose that rib forever. You're 30?

30, yeah. Man, you look fucking good for 30. I'm jealous, dude. But you just showed me your body. You look great for, can I say it out loud? Yeah, no. You can bleep it. People know.

40. 40. I'm 40. Please, please, please. Half of the fans at home that watch the show are like that guy's only 40 50 years old i hate when people online say about me and bobby they go same age right and i'm like oh dude that guy's 52 oh damn people like you're you look that old oh no it just hurts because he dresses like a child so no one will know the difference right i mean i like to dress younger than my age for sure this is immature

for a 40 yearyear-old man back home in Chicago. We look like we should flip outfits. 100%. I have that t-shirt in green. Do you? Yeah.

It's really great stuff. Bobby always looks like he has a tech deck on him. His outfits. Yeah. He just looks like he would have a fidget toy in his pants,

but I love him. Well, we bought him fidget spinners, right? Did you? Yeah, we bought him a bunch to get through some of the episodes because he'd want to have

more dip and then he was trying to control vaping. We were trying to occupy him with stuff that would get him away from, from distracting him. We distracted him so he wouldn't distract himself. That's crazy. From nicotine to just a fidget spinner. Well, dude, we got him off cigarettes, which was huge.

Oh, that is big. That was big. But now he's, he's dipping. And I like to pop a couple of, you like a couple of zinny zinnies. Zin it up. See, he won't do that he likes real hoss he likes real brother does i thought his brother's throwing in like long cut and i was like who hurt you yeah they're both they're both into the og ruin your gums now

this being said zinnies are zins aren't great either they're probably hurting us but it's clean it's a clean it's a it's a quick one too but we say that the long cut it's clean. It's a clean, it's a quick one-two. We say that. The long cut, it's like, just more like clean clean-up, I think. Spit it out. It's gone. Yeah, it's done. But I don't know if it's giving us, is it giving us a job? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it is. Sometimes spots on my tongue feel real tender. Oh, no. And I don't do it a lot, but it's like, you know, sometimes you're just

like, it's just a nice, it's like my nightcap. That's my Merlot, you know? Is it a little Zin? Yeah. Little Zinskis, dude. Little late night Zinners. There's kids on the internet now. I don't know if you've seen this, but there's guys, because, you know, there's three and six milligrams for Zinn. There's other companies that have way more. There's one that's like 20 milligrams. Dude,

there's guys on the internet. There's young kids that are doing as many MGs as they can put in their mouth. There's one dude, this young college kid, he's putting like hundreds in his mouth. Really? Yeah, it's absurd. I don't know what the fascination is. I used to, my neighbor growing. It's like, I don't know what the, I don't know what the fascination is. I used to, my neighbor growing up played on the baseball team

and he got me into dipping in like high school because he was the cool guy. So he did it, I wanted to do it. And I put in like, he was like, you gotta do a double decker

or upper decker. Upper deckers, yeah. Were you top of your lip? I did both, I threw up immediately. Yeah, no, in college I actually started dipping.

That's where I kind of started all that stuff because I used to smoke and then I was a valet and you couldn't smoke in the valet stand. They were pretty adamant about it. That's like the biggest life hack, yeah. And they were like, you can't do that. And there were no smoke breaks because I ran my little station.

I was just the only guy at Buca di Beppo. Shout out. Buca. Dude, that was the place for our homecoming. Great spot, dude. Oh, my God. The Chicken Alfredo. And you'd share it.

And the bill was like $32. You're like, I got this, honey. Let me take care of this. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. The chicken alfredo, and you'd share it, and the bill was like $32, and you're like, I got this, honey. Let me take care of this. Yeah, yeah. This is my dad's credit card, literally. He is rich, rich. But that was like fine dining in high school. It was.

It was very high end. I used to, when I valeted there, I couldn't break because I was the only cat. Yeah, so I used to put in a couple of sneakers. But that was back before, I mean, I think they had pouches, but they weren't nicotine pouches. They were tobacco pouches. So they were pouches. They were just dip, but pouch form. But I would do those because I didn't want raw dip getting in my teeth.

Yeah, it's grimy. I just didn't want it for the customers. I didn't care personally, but I didn't want someone to be like, I think I saw him. A customer at Bukit Bapa might have all their teeth. Now that you say that, it was a lot of Buicks. A lot at Buca di Beppo might have all their teeth. That's, you know, now that you say that, it was a lot of Buicks. Really? A lot of Buicks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that kind of class where we're skating through, do I have

money or am I really struggling? 300 type level. Right, right. That was my favorite. Am I picking up my stepkids? That's kind of what it is. That's a great car. Buca di Beppo is a broken family restaurant. I sort of wondered when did Nissan Altima become like, oh, you might get shot, car. Yeah, that is, yeah. when did Nissan Altima has become like, oh, you might get shot, car.

Yeah, that is, yeah. When did they make that change? Nissan's are so, every other Nissan is just such a great family car. And then you see a Nissan Altima at late night, and you're like, we should probably not be on the street. Yeah, we should get out of here, dude. What else is a shady car at night that makes you feel uncomfortable?

I tell you, you see a Volkswagen Jetta coming, you gotta get, that is a Volkswagen Jetta coming you gotta get that is that is a 23 year old blonde college girl yes yeah yeah yeah who's lost

don't help her don't help her dude she's lost a lot of Zoloft and she's going through something and she's speeding she don't see those speed bumps no

she got mental speed bumps yeah you know how you know how people you know how people when you hear a car come out of a a too fast and you hear a grrr, grrr, grrr. Yes. Jettas. I don't think there's one Jetta that's rolling on the road right now that doesn't have a torn up undercarriage from young girls grrr, grrr, on those things.

You ever see those videos online? Somebody will post up in one of those infamous driveways and they just watch every person hit their bumper? Yeah, dude, yeah. God, that's like my level of like, that's like the DVD sign bouncing off the screen for me. I could watch that all day. All day, dude. People scratch that. God, I've done that.

I've done that DVD sign before, too. I've done that. Yeah, the Jetta. I think the Jetta comes with Uggs. Like, every time you see that door open, it's just a giant Uggs slams out. Yeah, the Jettas would scare me at night. Jettas are tough.

I don't like Jettas. I never liked Jettas. The cars that bother me the most are, I loathe, loathe Mini Coopers. I think it's the dumbest vehicle ever made. My neighbor has a Mini Cooper and it has the loudest engine ever. Oh, yeah. It's like the Sportman or something?

Yeah, they tune them. But I'm like, why is a Mini Cooper loud? Yeah. Shut, like, it's loud and I open my window and see that? Yeah, a little tiny car. It's like a 5.3 guy grunting at the gym. Get it together. I just feel like I looked out the window and saw that and I was like little tiny car. It's like a 5'3 guy grunting at the gym. Get it together. I just feel like I looked out the window and saw that and I was like,

dude, not even a muscle car? Yeah, Mini Cooper is not for me. I just never, they bothered me so much. And my wife wanted to get, or did get one for a short period of time and she was like, what do you not like about it? I was like, if you get hit, you will die. That's what I feel about smart cars. There's nothing to that. Why even put an airbag in a smart car?

Just die. Just die. It's going to be like the packing bags they get from Amazon. Yeah. The ones that you touch and they fold and they pop. Yeah, smart cars, I feel that way. Yeah, I just, there's certain cars on the road that give me the, what do the kids say? They give me the... Ick.

Pontiac Aztec. You ever seen one of those bad boys? No, let me see what that, oh, is that the thing he drove in Breaking Bad? I don't know. This car has always pissed me off. It looked like the shoe that Kobe came out with. By the way, this is the car from Breaking Bad, but Pontiac made the same car as the, this is what?

What was the car in Breaking Bad? This wasn't Pontiac. It's the exact same, you know how multiple car companies own the rights to the same kind of framework, or they're part of the same production company? That makes sense. What is it? What's the one in Breaking Bad? Just do Breaking Bad car

because now I can't get it out of my head. It was a... It wasn't Aztec. It was the Aztec. Wow. Who would have thought? Meth and Pontiacs. Hand in hand, baby.

By the way, when they did that, they were like, this is the lower middle working class teacher's car who's going to sell meth. And then they wrote that into that show. Now, everyone who has one of those feels atrocious. Yeah, that was it. Yeah, it's like a van sedan type of, the sedan, you know?

It's a bummer when they put something in a movie or television show that you own. That would hurt my feelings. I've never had that happen. Well, I mean, it's like, I see it and I go, well, someone owns that. You know what I mean? Like, do you remember the Will Ferrell sketch? And he goes, I drive a Dodge Stratus remember that everybody yeah and then I felt like dude every regular dude with a Dodge

Stratus was so embarrassed it was like when like your name is like Aaron and then Keenan Peele came out everyone's like hey hey Ron exactly like I didn't ask for this no I know my mom was born as I yo Keenan Peele have you seen the girl that lives in the house in Breaking Bad where they throw the pizzas on the house she like gates it off and she like if you take a photo for the house she yells I feel bad where they throw the pizzas on the house? She like gates it off. And if you take a photo in front of the house, she yells at you. I feel bad for that. Yeah, the old Breaking Bad house. I'm like, what do you fucking expect?

Well, dude, she doesn't need to be bothered every day her fucking life. Make money off of it. Put a QR code out front. Dude, if she sold pizzas out front of her house, she would make millions of dollars. But people throw the pizza on a roof all the time, right? That's hilarious. That is very funny. Like we used to teepee houses growing up.

But a pizza, I mean, that's a hilarious thing. Where did you grow up again? Ventura County, like an hour from here. Oh, yeah, that's hilarious. That is very funny. Like, we used to teepee houses growing up, but a pizza, I mean, that's a hilarious thing. Where did you grow up again? Ventura County, like an hour from here. Oh, yeah, that's right. You guys teepee houses and shit? Yeah, you know what's so funny is we didn't do it often. We would, we stole shit more. Really?

Yeah. We'd steal hubcaps, the Chromies. Chromies. Yeah, and we'd put them on our bike. I liked that. We did that. Yeah, we did that. It was like the coolest feeling ever.

You catch yourself a BMW Chromie, man. I liked that. We did that. Yeah, we did that. It was like the coolest feeling ever. You catch yourself a BMW, Chromie, man. You're the coolest cat in town. Oh, if somebody had like bullet ones, and you're like, dude, this on my Schwinn? So hot. Holy fuck. I might put a baseball card in there. Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom. That was really the biggest thing.

My dad would get pissed. TPing, huh? You TPed a lot? Yeah, I don't know why. Dude, we TPed this kid's house, and I feel bad about this now. A lot of this is like post-child regret, where you're like, why did I do this? But we TPed this kid's house so much, they cut the tree down. and I feel bad about this now. A lot of this is like post-child regret where you're like, why did I do this? But we teeped this kid's house so much they cut the tree down

and then he posted on Facebook like, to everybody who teeped our tree, we cut it down. That was the last thing our grandpa left us. And I was like, oh, fuck. A tree? Fuck that grandpa, dude. That's a dickhead move.

Dude, be a real grandpa. Leave me a trust. You know, leave me some cheddar, not a tree. Yeah, wrong type of paper, grandpa. Come on, dude. Broke-ass grandpa. Yeah, but like of paper, Grandpa. Come on, dude. Broke-ass Grandpa. Yeah, but like, seeing that on Facebook. We didn't do that.

We didn't do that. And we were doing dough apply. Yeah, we didn't really do it. I think we did it for like homecoming or something like that. Like that would happen. Egging was a thing in high school for me. Yeah, we never did egg. Loved hucking a good egg at a house.

But it's hilarious. Nothing like it. And then forking someone's yard. Forking. I tried to explain it to someone else. They didn't get it. But like when you put it in and you snap it. yeah but it's also because in the midwest you do it when it's cold so the when the grass kind of gets really hard and freezes over it's fucking

awful it's like the meanest thing you can do man you fork and break you did that in minnesota didn't you yeah yeah that's a dickhead move out here it really wouldn't work as well because the ground doesn't free everybody has astroturf they don't cut their own lawn they don't know what the fuck's going on yeah exactly you grew up like You know what's so funny? I never knew... I never had a neighbor in the Midwest that had fake grass that didn't exist. And then I moved out here and it slowly but surely hit me that

almost everyone that lives around me has fake grass. Yeah, they say it because they conserve water. You're just lazy. No, dude. I like grass, my guy. Give me grass, you know? Nice. Yeah, fuck the... And what do you think a dog feels like When he's got a shit on plastic Nah dude give him grass Yeah my dog wants to roll around

And put her face in the grass Yeah yeah yeah You cut your own lawn I do You do I do yeah I do Really I trim it

I cut it I leaf blow the leaves out You think after like one or two specials You'd be like we're done here Nah fuck that dude Really I do all that stuff I wash my car

I wash my own car But washing the car I could get behind That's like a man thing I enjoy it get in the fucking because it feels like i'm so i don't know it's like a little bit of pride in it you have a great car yeah yeah nice but i do like to wash it right i don't know what it is i just i enjoy actually i do know i buy you like wave at him when you're washing it you know my neighbor dude every single dude, every single time, like, I'm the only guy that washes, one of my neighbors washes his car too, but

all the other neighbors, when they see me wash my car, same fucking joke. When you're done or whatever, you want to fucking, blah, blah, blah. Me next! And I said that my one neighbor was really funny. He says, she was washing their car, his wife. Good! And I said, I saw her out earlier today. I see who wears the pants in the house.

And he was like, annoyed, stunned, mad about it I was like I'm just playing man and he was like and he just drove away I was like oh no dude he just drove into a barranca created a fight with this guy and his wife for no reason

I just like it because it's put in headphones and I think it calms me down it's therapeutic it's quiet and slow. There's no rush. I'm never doing it when I don't have a ton of time. I only do it when I'm like, oh, I can kill the afternoon doing this,

listening to a new album or something and then just kind of disappear. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of rad. That's what I do with dishes. I let them load up all week, maybe two weeks, and then I put on a podcast, Whiskey Ginger, of course. Of course.

My first episode. Hey, part one or stiff socks stiff socks good pods thank you so much dude and uh then I just like crank it out at once but it feels like therapeutic I don't like every single time you want me to get in there wash it load it like I don't so you don't do dishwasher you hand wash I do but like I like rinse it off and then like get like the like oatmeal off the bowl a little bit of ketchup so you let it pile up in the sink, though? Yeah. You don't just, whoosh, and right in the dishwasher.

You're one of these people. It's so fascinating to me. Put it right in the dishwasher. It's right there. You would think. Yeah, I sound like you're my wife right now. She'll open a box from Amazon and then just leave it. And I'm like, empty it out.

She looks what it is and then puts it in the laundry room. And I'm like, get the stuff out. Yeah, that's me to a T. You do that, huh? I just leave it somewhere. And then I do a big cleanup on the Sunday. Yeah, see, I don't like it. I say, because the anxiety of it building up creeps me out. I want it all.. I just leave it somewhere. And then I do like a big cleanup on the Sunday. Yeah. See, I don't like, I say, cause I don't,

the anxiety of it building up creeps me out. I want it all. Just take care of it when you're doing it. For some reason, I think the more messy, the more like creative. Ah, so I'm like,

I don't give a fuck. I got to get back to this tick tock at it. And then I just leave a box or leave a plate. I guess that might be true. Dave Chappelle lives in a house of filth. That's what, no, no,

I'm kidding. No, no, dude, no, I don't think the messier, the more creative, there's no chance there no, I'm kidding. No, dude. No, I don't think the messier, the more creative. There's no chance.

I think that people assume that you're more of a creative person if you're kind of unhinged and weird. But at some point, you want to feel... You can really go one of both ways. Because you ever seen the show about hoarders? Those motherfuckers aren't creative. The only way they're creative is how they put shit in their house. He's trying to find out if Chappelle has a dirty house. Dave Chappelle's house.

Did you have video on it? No. What is this? It's creepy. It's creepy. McCone, stop looking up. Cut it out, will you? This guy, what a lunatic.

Oh, that's his house? Yeah. I'm sure that's one of his homes. Yeah, Jesus Christ. You know what I mean? Yeah. Before we get too far, ladies and gentlemen that are out there in the world of of popcasting uh and stand-up comedy if you're a fan you need to go watch this gentleman's new special that's out and available

right now uh on emma it's on amazon amazon amazon i saw on amazon prime i saw a billboard for it across the street from the improv last night i went went to the party, and I was like, oh, that's fucking rad. But that was what? Not them. That was Amazon doing that? That was Amazon putting it up. That's very nice. Yeah, it was great.

They were like, you have a billboard. And then they just tagged this construction site. But it's like five different on my faces. And it's right on Melrose. That's cool. Oh, it's the best. I think it's honestly better than just like one high up billboard. It's just like, it feels right.

It's street level. Yeah. And there's like five of it. Yeah, I like it. It feels more like, it feels right. It's street level and there's like five of it. It feels more like modern day version. What's the special called again? Pterodactyl. Pterodactyl. What a word. I think it just sticks. It does. Well, I know it. I know it now. Because I feel like it's like, I want like a special that's just like you either know the name

or of the comic or they're either going to type in Trevor Wallace special or they're going to be like dinosaurs, some shit. I like that. Do you have a big wraparound joke about pterodactyls? I do, and then I kind of tag it a few times just as a callback in there. And I just thought it was like that. I love how Tom's and Goro's were just sledgehammers.

Just like, boom. It's just one word, powerful word. Well, that's because he's a big Phil Collins fan. That's why, yeah. That's why he named it that. I know, people think it's something else. It's not. He just really loved the song Sledgehammer.

Do you know that song? I know it in the air tonight. Have you ever seen the live one in the air tonight on YouTube? Come on, dude. Holy fuck. I've jerked off. I've jerked off, too. Watch that at 4 a.m.?

Dude, that'll get your nipples erect. I love Phil Collins. There's nobody who owns it. He embodies it. Peter Gabriel. I'm so sorry. That's who did Sledgehammer. That's right.

Peter Gabriel. Why does he feel like Phil Collins to me? There's a P. Peter Gabriel. Similar names. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don'm so sorry. That's who did Sledgehammer. That's right. Peter Gabriel. Why does he feel like Phil Collins to me? There's a P. Peter Gabriel. Similar names. Don't do that. Don't play that song, dude. Don't play that song.

Don't get me amped up in this room right now. I'll lose my fucking mind. No, Blueface. I don't know about that. Yeah, no, Blueface was okay back then. That's tough. You could still do it. That's tough.

I don't know about that. No, you could still do it, man. Trolls. Avatars. Smurfs. No, Smurfs didn't have rights back then. They didn't. And Smurfs' lives matter. I want to say that right now. I know it's controversial as it, man. Trolls weren't... Avatars, Smurfs? No, Smurfs didn't have rights back then. They didn't. And Smurfs lives matter. I want to say that right now. I know

it's controversial, as it may seem. It's out there. But I do feel like I should take a stand. Thank you for taking a stand. Not people say that. But go watch people at some point. Please go watch at the end of this episode, or pause it and go watch it and come back and go watch Pterodactyl on Amazon. You're a great comic, and you can... Honestly, I mean that because

when me and Bob did a show and you popped and did some time with us and I thought that was, it's cool to see, it's been cool to see kind of your ascension. Not to say like,

I've been watching you but I have seen, you have really like in the last couple of years, it's been cool to watch you kind of rise, grow and expand. You and fucking

and Blaustein. Yeah, I mean it's wild to watch him kind of rise grow and expand yeah you and fucking and uh and blaustein yeah i mean it's wild to watch him grow into that too because i met that guy 15 years ago i'm sure you know the story yeah we're watching that recently it's wild man and it's not it's not it's great to see that and i'm glad like we're getting to do our own thing and not to harp on it too much we'll get back to fun stuff but um it's cool and to see a alternative like amazon because netflix was like the bully and now people are like okay i'll just do my own thing now yeah and i'll go a different way or i'll self-produce or i'll put it out on a different platform and bargazzi being on amazon and yeah i think all i think all of that is cool that it's we're shifting the game it's not

just like you got to do it like this because it used to be just like whatever you guys want us to do man right and that's kind of how amazon uh was to do it like this, because it used to be just like, whatever you guys want us to do, man. Right. And that's kind of how Amazon was like the opposite. They were great about it. They're like, look, we want to promote just as much as you do. And they were like, here's what we're going to promote on your side. Here's what you can do on your side. Like, it felt very collaborative versus I feel like, and Netflix, I mean, also a great company. And so many of my friends are special over there.

Hey. Hey, hey. Cheeseburger. Go watch. But it felt like, and I don't know how your cheeseburger but watch but it felt like um and i don't know how your deal was structured but it like it felt like they're like i go shoot it give it to us and you do the rest i don't i don't know i'm yeah for me it was for me it was i wanted to own it so i i was either going to self-distribute it somehow or something i didn't really know so

when when i talked to netflix i had said i do want to own all the material and i want it to be me and i don't want like you to tell me i don't want any so i want to do all of it myself yeah i was like i want to pick it i want to i the only thing i wanted them to tell me what they needed was uh ratios for for for video yeah the only requirements i wanted from them were like tell me how tell me the ratios that the edit needs to be in and tell me like where the fucking watermarks need to be and all that stuff for that's it because outside of that i said i wanted to do i didn't want any suggestions yeah and what's great about this special is i own it after three years so it's pretty much the same deal that it's yours yeah then i get it back that's fucking rad i get to just throw it up on snapchat premium wherever the fuck i want to put it after

are you on are you on snapchat still because people are on it making yeah i'm not making money like that but like I still have it. I know people that post, they post 100 times a day, like a photo, and then the last photo is of a chick's ass. Because that's like the thumbnail of the story. Smart. It's very smart. I mean, I wish I knew that many chicks with a good ass.

Or that many chicks in general. Just DMing the same girl. Can we do that weekly? Send your butt again, please. Yeah, I'll photoshop myself in there we're at a Mets game but

it yeah that seems like the most soul sucking version of making money you're just because they post it would just be like if I did this podcast today

it would be every single inch of this and I was like I also feel like I would dox myself without even knowing it yeah on accident you know I'd be like

oh this Chipotle is crazy and everyone's like this is the Chipotle off Ventura Boulevard isn't it and you're like oh fuck, I don't know. And you're like, it is. Yeah.

Do you want to hang? Yeah, and then they come to beat my ass. I'm taking photos of them. Hold on, do you have a nice ass, sir? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Yeah, I don't like any of that stuff. It's a little too invasive, too close to home. Yeah, I feel like you're very good about that.

You're like, your personal life is your personal life, and your career is your career. I try. I mean, I'm also just not good at social media. Oh, that's funny. I thought you were very secretive you're like i just don't fucking know i don't know i just don't i just don't i just don't care enough about social media i i like i i try to give a fuck and yeah then every time i do i overthink it and then i'm like fuck this never mind i do this and that and by and bad friends so i feel like that's my that this is my posting on Instagram. Yeah.

Your story post of the week, you'll just talk about it here instead. Yeah. The story that I would have shared with them was with the thing I told you before. I just got back from the doctor, and they tell me my cholesterol is too high. Now I've got to be on medication. What are they giving you? I don't know the name of it. I'm sure it's funny.

Cholesterol medication names are always funny. Do cholesterol medications. All of them do. I think they partially want to make you feel bad about let's see, Lipitor all these sound like they can get my cock hard that's right, Lipitor, let's call it Altaprev Laval

did you know your cholesterol was high? sometimes I can hear my heart go and then I'm like alright that's great I think I knew my cholesterol was high because the level of stress and stuff caused from the pain from this injury I had

so I've been running higher than normal but I imagine too I'm not restricting my diet as much as I used to really god I never restrict it

well you fucking you don't yeah you're good now yeah now yeah 10 years you're fucked do you eat fast food I ate in and out

like last night I mean that's like my level of fast food yeah Do you eat fast food? I didn't know like last night I mean, that's like my level of fast food. Yeah, that is literally faster. It's not your level. That's everyone's level Yeah, but in my head, it's like shopping at Trader Joe's it seems healthy in your head, but there's still really shitty food So well, there's so much it even in fact I think I would argue Trader Joe's percentage wise has more bad shit than good shit for you. That's very true. They're fucking dessert The frozen frozen row. It's all bad shit. It's all terrible shit for you. That's very true. Their fucking dessert, the frozen... The whole row. It's all bad shit.

It's all terrible shit for you. But in my head, Trader Joe's is like, oh, health. Same thing with Whole Foods. Yeah, they've done that. So in and out, to me, I'm like, oh, they fry the fries in peanut oil. We're good. Yeah, but you're like, but it's fried. It doesn't fucking matter.

Yeah, they believe in Jesus over there. We're good. They got quotes on the bottom of their cup. John 316. God bless, dude. That's why Chick-fil-A is closed on Sunday, to pray for the gays. You know, that's what they say. That's what I heard. this over there we're good yeah quotes on the bottom of the cup yeah john 316 god bless dude that's why chick-fil-a is closed on sunday to pray for the gays you know that's what they say right on their cup we're praying for gays we're closed exactly pray for the gays i know i that is still phenomenal to me that a business is so successful uh and they're closed on a day where

everybody would go get them dude you know the day that they reopen on sundays it's gonna be massive see i i don't know i think this. I think this is their calling card. Well, imagine McDonald's got bullying into doing breakfast past the normal hours. Do they do it all day? I don't think so. It is all day now, right? Why is it fucking always beeping in there all day?

Beep, boop, beep, beep, boop, boop, boop, boop. Something's going off. But all the time? Yeah. Even on a slow shift? You know what that is? That's the fry cooker telling you it's done. You got to pull it up

and then you got to hit the button to stop it. I used to work at McDonald's, my dad. Did you really? Yeah. Wow, you gave me the full ass is? That's the fry cooker telling you it's done. You gotta pull it up and then you gotta hit the button to stop it. I used to work at McDonald's. Did you really? Yeah. Wow, you gave me the full-ass answer. That's the fry... It sounds like a plane's landing on that bitch. The fry cook has a timer. Yeah. And you're supposed to turn it off. Don't those beeps drive you insane? So you went McDonald's to Buca di Beppo? That's kind of a glow-up. No,

I was at McDonald's when I was 15. Buca di Beppo was in college when I was valeting. Yeah. But I worked a thousand jobs in between that. Did you have a bunch of shitty day jobs? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to work in a kiosk inside of a Costco in college. Oh, wow. Window coverings. It was like blinds and shit. Could you sell?

No. You weren't good at it. Because what happened is I was a middleman. I would get like a dad who was just shopping out there for some Michelobes, would stop by and we'd see all the blind shit, and he would be like, how much for that? And I'd be like, oh, well, we can schedule you an appointment. see all the blind shit and he would be like how much for that I'm like oh well we can just schedule you an appointment I was the middleman I would get their contact what a waste oh terrible but then the dads will always be like well I'll tell you the dimensions

right now it's 9 by 16 and I want that right there I was like sir I don't know I just worked I was in college I was like hungover but sir I don't know what I'm doing it's right stand up was just there but the guys are yelling me and big how do you not know much it's cost I don't work what I'm doing. I used to write stand-up while I was just there. But the guys would yell at me and be like, how do you not know my church? It's cost. I was like, I don't work. I'm just a guy.

This company failed, yes? Probably. There's no chance that's still around. What a weird system. Do you want this product? I do. Well, I'm going to schedule you to talk to somebody else to get this product.

Yeah, because once they're in your home, you're not going to not, you know? Yeah, but it's also one more step they don't need. It doesn't make sense. My best day was when we, so it was a bunch of me and my frat guys that worked there. Fraternity. Fraternity, sorry.

Don't call your fraternity a frat. You don't call your country a cunt. That's what they used to say all the time. You see her guys say that on camera. You don't call your country a cunt. Don't call your fraternity a frat. What fraternity were you in again? Delta Upsilon.

Woo-woo! That's the Jewish one. I'm just kidding. I was in it, so it could be. It's not the Jewish one. Which one? Were you in again? Delta Upsilon. Woo-hoo! That's the Jewish one. I'm just kidding. I was in it, so it could be. It's not the Jewish one. Which one? Were you in one? No, dude.

No? No chance. Look at me, dude. They wouldn't let me in. Yeah, but you seem like an undercard. And I mean that respectfully. No, you know what it is? I have a huge issue with authority and rules, so I just don't like...

I wouldn't have... The process... Dude, there was a few guys at week one of pledging. They were like, no. No? They were like, clean this house. They were like, no. This is bullshit. I. They were like, no, this is bullshit. I just want women and chicks.

Get this pledge out of here. Yeah, no, I was no. That's just, you would have never convinced me to do the thing, to be a part of the machine. Fuck that. Oh, right. That was my issue. It was like, I'm not doing that just to join. But do you want to be friends with us?

It's like, I'll be friends with you guys outside of the fraternity. You just don't want a brotherhood? Yeah. I mean, you can be my homie. You have to do the elephant walk with us. No, I don't. Put a thumb in another man's ass. Did you do that? No, no, no. Comehood? Yeah. I mean, you can be my homie. You have to do the elephant walk with us. No, I don't. Put a thumb in another man's ass. Did you do that?

No, no, no. Come on, dude. I did it. You did, dude. That was off campus. Yeah. That was just boys being boys. That was just a good Friendsgiving, if you know what I mean.

Just heading to Del Taco, dude. Plug it in. No, I couldn't do it because I didn't have the discipline to want to listen to other similar-aged men telling me what to do is crazy. You know what I mean? You know what they should do? Just bring in an older guy to bully you around and I would have listened to that guy. This guy was like 22, but he had a beard. That's impressive

for me. I still can't. You still can't get one? It looks like a GameStop employee. It's not good. It's like patchy. I really went for it during the pandemic for like a month and it just didn't... And I never liked the response people would give me. They'd be like, oh, you're really going for it. the pandemic for like a month and it just didn't and I never liked the response people would give me they'd be like oh you're really going for it and you're like either you have it or you don't yeah Adam Devine showed up last night

to the thing big name drop he's got a new mustache on his face and it looks actually pretty good you know the cool part about this town no I didn't see him as a mustache guy. Yeah.

But now that I saw, I was pretty impressed. I was like, that's a... I was a little shocked that it looked so good. There it is here. Oh, yeah. He's got a mustache face. He's got a little ha-ha to him, you know? That's what he said.

He's like a French detective. Yeah. He does have a little bit of Pink Panther. Yeah. You know what I like about this town is you can do anything you want and be like, oh, it's for a role. You can look like, shit, oh, I got this movie coming up. And then that movie just never comes up.

You can do that with anything. When you fucking rob somebody, be like, it's for a role, bud. Yeah, character development. Holy shit. Yeah, this guy. This is for a role. Do the people on camera know what that looks like? Yeah, people do know by now that Makona shaved his head to match Carlos on Bad Friends.

Yeah. Oh, that's good. It's kind of fun. He committed to the bit. Wow. Committed to the bit. Have you done anything like this? Have you ever committed to the bit? Commit to the bit. Because you do, like, look, dude, of all the stuff that you've done, I mean, you've created so much funny content on the internet in terms of, like, videos and sketches.

Thank you, man. Have you gone overboard and committed to the bit with something like that? Committed to the bit. My version of that is I, like, bleached my hair with $8 Target bleach, and my mom did it for me four years ago. Rad mom. Great mom. I was in between apartments, and then I lived home for a month, and she bleached my hair, and it looked terrible.

I've never had worse comments in my life. It's like, use toner, you fucking idiot. It looks like a cat peed on your head. Yeah, it wasn't good. Trevor Wall's bleached hair. Yeah, so in the White Claw video, one of my most and i trevor wall's bleached hair yeah and i kind of yeah so in the white club video like one of my most like big videos i had this like bleached hair it just looked like i have a very douchey punchable face but like this really upped the ante like that is like you

see that guy at a kmart you just know he's stealing whippets i hate that guy yeah not good but but i like you like this so much more oh yeah i did it for like the bit like the bit. I was like, I wanted to do it for a video. Deep down, I was like, I want to know. And Blau's got bleached hair too, so he's going through the same thing. But he looks like he should have bleached hair. You think? I don't know what it is. It looks like it's supposed to be that way.

It fits. Yeah, something about it. I think if you have dark hair underneath, it does work. But I feel like bleaching your hair is like a girl's version of getting bangs. Like you're going through something. You don't know what it is, but you're not coming. That's daddy issues. Yeah, there's something in life.

But for you, it's mommy issues. That's all that is. Because who did it? My mommy. Who dyed your hair? Yeah, exactly. Mommy did it for me. So what, you moved back home, and then you moved back.

Now you're living alone again, right? Live alone again. Good for you, dude. Now you're in the valley, just me and my cat, dude. Woo! Lonely. What's the pussy's name? Pluto.

Oh, right on. After Pluto the dog or Pluto the planet? You know, I don't like to- Is Pluto not a planet? Not anymore. Yeah, we denounced it, right? Wow After Pluto the dog or Pluto the planet? You know, I don't like to... Is Pluto not a planet? Not anymore. Yeah, we denounced it, right? Wow. It got canceled.

Pluto as a planet got canceled. I feel that, though. You know, 2015 came around and they're like, we're done with you. Yeah, they did. They shuffled it right off into fucking space. Yeah, I just feel bad for Pluto, the actual planet. Like, what does he know? Oh, it's also a dwarf planet.

I don't know if we can even say that. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Careful with that kind of language. Well, that's what it says on Google. I don't know if we can say that. It's an LP planet. Little planet. Little planet. Yeah, it's an LP. Little planet. Oh, fuck. My bad. In the Kuiper Belt, a ring of the Careful with that kind of language. Well, that's what it says on Google. I don't know if we can say that. It's an LP planet. Little planet. Little planet.

Yeah, it's an LP. Little planet. Ah, fuck. My bad. In the Kuiper Belt, a ring of the bodies beyond the orbit of Neptune, it's the ninth largest and tenth most massive known object to directly orbit the sun. So, dude, this guy's buffed up. He's jacking around the sun, and they still won't recognize him?

And he got discovered in 1930. My man's coming up on 100 years. He's a 90-year-old man, and we're like, dude, you're not fucking real. And he's like, what? That's so fucked up. Dude, imagine telling a guy with dementia, you're not fucking real. And he's like, what? That's so fucked up. Imagine telling a guy with dementia, you're not real. Then you have to tell him every five minutes. But think about that. It's also kind of cool

that he's not a planet because he's also a massive star. Like, if he's a star in the solar system, he's one of the biggest stars. Right. Like, he's like Johnny Manziel in the CFL. Superstar. Superstar. NFL, they're like, yeah, you know, Pluto is Johnny Manziel of the planet. He's a Superstar. NFL, they're like, yeah, you know, Pluto is Johnny Manziel of the planet.

He's a great guy. He should be nicknamed Pluto, Johnny Manziel. He went up to the league. I love Johnny Manziel. In college, I think I dressed up as him

for Halloween one year. He was like my guy. He was your dude, huh? Dude. I was in college at the same time he was playing. We'd watch A&M games.

Our school had a football team. They sucked. Wait, what school? San Jose State. We were D1. We were like the Mountain West. We like play like a fucking like a good youth league or something.

But we would get up early and watch A&M games. Like Johnny Manziel was like the guy. He really was, dude. Being in college at the same time as him, like I felt like this weird connection. Well, that's the same thing. As you grow up with athletes, you feel like you, like it's crazy, creepy to me to think that LeBron and I are the same age. That's weird as shit because I like grew watching him and now I'm like, but we're, we're the

same age. It's super weird. In my mind, I always thought he was much, much older than me, but he's not. It's like, why would I think that we graduated the same year? Holy shit. It's creepy to think that as you get older, especially because now if I, there's pro athletes that I know and they're buddies. But he also has bad cholesterol.

Uh, no, no, dude, we just got it checked. LeBron is all good. Now, there's pro athletes that I know and their bodies... But he also has bad cholesterol. No. No, dude. We just got it checked. LeBron is all good. His lipids were high for some reason, but I don't even know what that means. We'll sneak up on you. Could be HGH or the T. You're not taking the T.

You don't need any of that stuff. I take a lot of it. You do? That's awesome. I don't know why this is all about college, but in college, my friend did steroids. I did one shot of steroids one day. In your ass? No. Left bicep. I should have done of steroids one day. In your ass? No.

Left bicep. I should have done it in the ass. Aren't you supposed to put it in your butt? Isn't that the whole thing? I think so. Yeah. But you have to have somebody else do it in like a Gold's Gym. You know, they say you have to have somebody else put it in your ass, but you can put it in your ass yourself.

What if you miss? And somebody's going to clip that, what I just said. I have had to put a suppository in. What? What for? I have a really bad colon. Like I have this thing called ulcerative colitis. Ladies, you turned on yet?

Ladies! I have a bad colon. And they didn't know what it was. And to get to your colon, it's like the spot under your car seat where the French fries go even deeper. You can't, like, get to it. So you either have to shoot something up your ass or put something down your throat. And I was like, look, the male G-spot's in the ass. Let me go up there.

So for like a month straight, I would, every night, my roommates never knew this, when I lived in, when I first moved to LA, I had to, every night, put a suppository up my ass. And I was like, imagine walking in on your roommate, and I'm just like spread eagle, just sitting there like, yeah, I paid my rent. Oh! Every night, I had to do it. And then in the morning, I would shit it out. Sorry to interrupt, Trevor, but we got to split up the cable bill.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. Trying to watch Animal Planet? What the fuck? Do it out Trevor but we gotta split up the cable bill yeah yeah yeah trying to watch Animal Planet what the fuck do you need help dude were you moaning so you put it up for how many years

I did it for a month straight and then you but you could have taken it orally right no because this was a time where like they needed

this like medicine to be in like my colon so I had to like shoot it up my ass it's like a very weird time in my life so now the colon's fine because now they found the medicine that I can just take I had to shoot it up my ass. It's like a very weird time in my life. So now the colon's fine because now they found the medicine that I can just take

orally to make it good. What's that one called? Myrkeptopurine. Myrkeptopurine. Shout out to Myrkeptopurine and all of the good it does. See, look, dude, I'm on meds. You're on meds. We're doing it. That's what it is. Everybody walks past us on the street like, wow, their life must be so perfect. I'm putting shit up my ass nightly.

MedMen. We should run our own MedMen where it's just you and I talking about the medication that we're currently taking. That would be great. People are like, is there weed here? You're like, no, dude. My boy's going to show you how he puts stuff on his butt. Yeah, but bend over. You'll be healthy. Your colon will be good. Are you a weed guy? Do you smoke weed? Kind of. Sometimes.

I smoked recently a bunch. I just hate the next day feeling a little off. You do. You feel off. It does affect you. I feel like no matter how much coffee I have or even if I work out, I hit that ceiling in the morning where there's haze. Do you feel that or no? No, man. Honestly, I feel that way when I get high.

That's how I... When I get high, I love it. The next day, I'm usually pretty good. Booze is probably the... Booze the next day. Even if I'm not drinking heavily, even if I have a couple, I still feel left from booze is probably the, you know, booze the next day. Even if I'm not, like, drinking heavily, even if I have a couple, I still feel blech from booze.

The thing that makes me feel the worst the next day is NyQuil, dude. Yes. NyQuil. I feel like shit for, like, the first six hours of the day. Yeah, you feel like your brain is on, like, subtitle mode.

It sucks. It's, like, slightly delayed. Yeah, you know what depersonalization syndrome is? You know what that is? Where you're, like, disconnected from yourself? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how I feel. I feel depersonalized, where I'm, like, Yeah, I hate that shit. Jawsiness and all that stuff. that is? Where you're like disconnected from yourself? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how I feel. I feel depersonalized where I'm like-

Yeah, I hate that shit. Jawsiness and all that stuff. Also the dreams you have on like NyQuil are insane. Getting around to seeing them by a gargoyle or something. Doxlamine, yeah. That stuff, it lasts forever. Yes. I think sometimes it-

I think sometimes, like anything, you know how when you take an edible and they're like, each of these should be like three or five grams or whatever, and you know what I mean? Like if it's a homemade, if it's not, you know what I mean? Yes, yes, yes. You don't know how much is in each one of those. You're like, each of these should be like three or five grams or whatever. You know what I mean? Like if it's a homemade. You know what I mean? Yes. You don't know how much is in each one of those.

You're like, we're guessing. It's the same thing with NyQuil. I don't even use the cap on NyQuil. I just sip it out of the bottle. Same. That cap thing gets thrown away right when you open it up. Because it's messy. Yeah.

And I don't do the dishes. We all know this. I've got to wait until Sunday to take it. But yeah, I just do it. I'll be like, this feels about right. Glug, glug, glug. And then the next morning, I feel like shit. I hate it. I did it recently because I couldn't get to sleep uh because i was having

batten leg pain so i was like fuck this i'm just gonna try i woke up to piss you are 40 dude 100 i woke up to piss like twice and then i shut that when does that start waking up to piss yeah i don't late 30s like 36 37 okay i gotta wake up to piss yeah you don't have that yet and thank god well the trick is not drinking water after a certain hour of the night. My God, this is old shit, dude. Do you leak at all? We talked about this on Bad Friends 2. After you piss, do you ever shake and then leak a little bit?

Yeah, of course. Dude, it gets worse. Really? Yeah, dude, you'll start flooding your jeans, my dude. No way, dude. I wasn't wearing boxes the other day. I forget why, but I panned some of these on, and you could just see a hole, a spot, a little pee spot right there. That's a little aggressive where my dick goes. I could just see a hole, a spot, a little pee spot right there.

That's a little aggressive where my dick goes. I was just going to say, dude, go a little higher. Yeah, it was kind of by my ankle up here. But yeah, it was a full-blown, that's a pee spot. Yeah, it sucks. Speaking of pee, can I go to the bathroom real quick? Nope. All right, cool.

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Drink responsibly. Ginger. I like gingers. Look it, I just got sent your special. Really? Yeah. Fuck yeah, I just got sent your special. Really? Yeah.

Fuck yeah, dude. I think your press, one of your... Oh, yeah, the PR. The PR person, they sent it to me. It's so funny. It's funny when you know the person. You're like, what do you mean? It's like, this is Trevor Wallace.

Here's the things you can talk about. Here's his jump off points. Well, because here's the deal, dude. You have to self-promote. Yeah. You know, I think I've talked about it on this stupid show, just jump well because here's the deal dude you have you have to self-promote yeah you know i i think i've talked about it on this stupid show but i saw a great interview from uh duplass and he he was talking about i think it was a commencement speech and he was talking about when you make

something in this business you you think that uh there they tell you like hey man you make something you work really hard you do good the cavalry will come calling and you're like all right and you make this thing you put it out and you put all this effort into it and you're like, hey man, you make something, you work really hard, you do good, the Calvary will come calling. And you're like, all right. And you make this thing and you put it out and you put all this effort into it and you're like, come on man, I like,

I'm doing it. Like I need help. Yeah. And then once it comes out, you're like, all right, Calvary is going to come. You know what I mean?

Meaning like, this is it dude. And it doesn't come. And then you do another thing and you do all this self-generated thing. And then you're like, all right,

Calvary is coming though, right? They're going to fucking call me. And then he goes, then you work tirelessly until you reach a point in your career when you realize that calvary isn't coming and it never was going to fucking come you had to self-generate all this stuff no matter what so you have to do all of this work other people around you are great to help you but at the end

of the day i think people don't really know in our business particularly like if you don't go do it it ain't happening right it just does not happen. I know people are like, they're plugged into the system. You hear these rumors when somebody says, the business wants him to make it. It's like, that's not a real thing. It's either that person has incredibly good promotional skill work, or they have hired enough people around them who are intelligent that know how to promote them enough so that the thing that they made can get more eyes. Or if they're like a mystery person where it's like you kind of disappear. Like Frank Ocean is one of those guys where it's like you never know what he's doing

and then he finally drops something out of the blue and it just like it hits. It's like, oh, fuck, this is out now? Yeah, I mean, he has that. But let's be honest. I mean, I'm not, this is no diss on him. Frank is also niche in the world of... Oh, first name basis. Oh, F-Dog is what i call f boy

i think i call him f boy yeah uh f boy island this week on netflix with nikki blazer uh no i think for i think with him it's like he's not in the commercial space do you know what i'm saying like he's a he's niche in the world of like he's very known in music but he's not pop culturally known so he captivates a market that is already itching for him to continue to make art. Like, I don't think... Okay, I see what you're saying. If I go ask 30 people on the street, you know, varying ages, who Frank Ocean is, I think half would know. Yeah.

You know, but if I go say who's fucking, you know, Taylor Swift, you know what I mean? Okay, I see what you're saying. He's not in the pop culture space. So it's like for him, I think he wants to stay more isolated and small and then make something and then go away for a little bit. Yeah.

Because he's already got the audience. I think it was on accident, his mysteriousness. I think he's like, oh, I just wanted to be away from him a little bit. Get away from the machine. Yeah, but then everyone's like,

he's so mysterious and whatever it is. But it's also the same thing with Chappelle. It's like nothing, nothing, nothing, boom, special. You're like, oh, fuck, it's everywhere. Yeah.

But I feel like what he did in the beginning to get that is like what I feel like I have to go through now. It's like, they're sending me so many like things that. You say that, but some of those guys were always that way. Really?

Yeah. That's true. Some of those guys were just always that way. They always were like, I'll give it to you when I'm ready. And it just works for some reason. You know, it just.

Yeah. And granted, this is my first special, so I don't really know how much I need to do, but like, I really want to like, just, just go all all out because if i did as much promo as i could and it does great awesome i feel like i earned it if it flops hey i did what i could well there's no flopping that doesn't exist that's not a real thing it's going to come out and people are going

to like it some people won't see it some people yeah how do you feel before like like a week for cheeseburger i just couldn't care less. Yeah, I couldn't care less. I put it out. I had fun. I hope you like it. That's literally how I feel. I loved it. Yeah, I had a good time.

Yeah, the first cut, I was like, what the fuck is this? Well, yeah, that's... And then I sat down with it, and after I drove up to the editor's place and stayed there for the weekend, and we just went through all this edits, and then I was like, there it is, there it is. And I was like, it felt very collaborative. Sure. And I was pitching stuff to it. But I mean, that's, that's, that's, I honestly, because you know that some people aren't going

to like it. A lot of, a lot of people, most people, most people won't see it. Yeah. So then I just go, the people that do see it, I hope they fucking dig it. And I hope they know that I enjoyed the fuck out of making it. Yeah. It was more fun than anything. I never wanted to be, and this is, I want to know with you, like, I never wanted to be and this is i want to know with you like i never wanted to

be this like profound comedian i just wanted to go fuck around and have fun like i wanted to be fun it is funny looking at how like how hd and how it's like 8k gorgeous picture and i'm up there being like i don't mind coming too quick huh yeah it is just funny like like when there's like you go to the video village and and there's just, like, ten different cameras, and, alright, cut to C, cut to A, but the material you're talking about is the same thing you'd be doing at the improv any given night. Sure, yeah. So it's just funny

that, like, it just looks so good. It looks phenomenal, and not to jerk my own cack, but I think it looks really good. I love the set dressing, and... Who did it? Who shot it? 800lb, Gorilla did it, and then Brandon Dermer, buddy of ours yeah he recommend he couldn't do it because of uh he's a bitch no the writer strike director director strike he couldn't fucking say action um so yeah uh he had his buddy george do it who you know yeah george yeah yeah so he so he did it for

me and he fucking crushed it man man. I'm really excited. It looks great. And the jokes are funny. Jokes are funny. And you bring out an animal on stage, and you sacrifice it? Is that the... Yeah, I mean, I was going to kind of save that for the ending beat. Oh, we can cut that.

Yeah, if you could, please. But you do. You kill a small dog. Is that what that is? It's kind of like a Yorkie. So is it a dog? That's true. I did a poll on my Instagram beforehand.

I was like, what dog is not a dog? And most people are like, the Krusty White dogs. Those got to go. What dog are you guys cool with me killing on stage? And Basset Hound was a runner up, but they're like, just put him out of the misery. Every bark those things have sounds like the last. My buddy growing up had one of those fucking things. Yeah, that and beagles.

Yeah, beagle, that's what it is. That was a beagle. I mistake that too. But basset hounds have those sad ones too. Beagles, I mean, what the fuck are they saying? Their ears drag the ground though. That's cute, dude. They mop up the floor. Dude, they could fly so easy as flap those over the eyes. But you're a cat guy. You know you don't like dogs. Yeah, well, the next special I'm going to sacrifice my own cat.

Good for you. And it's going to be called, Is Pluto a Planet? Starring Johnny Manziel. That's right, dude. Yeah. So probably I'd just sacrifice my cat. I'd be kind of tight if Johnny Manziel did your jokes on stage. You shot him doing your shit.

That'd be fucking rad. That'd have been a good promo. I feel you. I'm going to call him right now. Yeah, you know him. Johnny! Imagine if he's just on FaceTime all the time with me. I feel like, well, you went to ASU.

Are you a bae? Arizona State. Watch your mouth, dude. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Didn't go to school the time with me. I feel like, well, like, you went to ASU or U of A? Arizona State. Watch your mouth, dude. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Didn't go to school in Mexico, dude. Forks off, dude. Went to Phoenix, dude. Forks off, my dog. Oh, yeah, the dirty T. Yeah, I like Phoenix.

He's in Arizona. He's an Arizona guy. He's in Scottsdale. Yeah. Do you know him? I don't know him, dude. I know a few people that have, like, run into him. You know what I mean? But I don't, uh, I do not know him, but I'm fascinated by him. I am fascinated by the guy. Did you watch the documentary on him? Oh, yeah.

I watched that, and, like, man, and man, it's almost sad. Well, here's my kind of, for people that haven't seen it, it's a tale of the struggle of what it's like to come out of being the most hyped-up, beloved Heisman winner out of college, and then the NFL kind of pushing you around a little bit and not really working.

You're feeling not a part of the system. You're struggling with these outside things. Yeah. And I will say this. When I've spoken to any people

at that high level, the thing that we don't recognize as regular people is like, they've been training like that since they were and I mean literal children.

Yeah, especially Texas. Yeah, you're seven years old and you're being pumped into a system yeah the umbilical cord go hike let's go baby yeah they come out like that they go ha ha that's his middle name how'd you know words for Omaha yeah they so they breed you into this world of like you have to be obsessed with sports so by the time they hit 22 they're tired it kind of feels like your friend who was group super super religious and then they go to college and they finally get a little bit of freedom and they're like i don't need to live by my parents rules yeah they're like what the fuck was i thinking suddenly i'm doing cocaine

off a buick key and i kind of like it an aztec an aztec key a panacaste like we have a fan we have a family friend who who grew up uh pretty strict m Mormon, and then all of the kids rebelled. All of them went off the radar because they were like, oh, you can live more free. You don't have to feel guilty about wanting to have a drink. I think culturally when you force people to do something for so long when you're really young, when you get older, you're definitely going to be like, fuck that. You try and you're like, oh my God, this is so much better. Yeah.

Oh, I'm sorry. A Mountain Dew to a fucking, a Mormon? Bro. I'll relapse right there. I mean, dude, that and the Amish, the Amish fascinate me too. Have you ever seen them? Oh yeah. And when I'm doing gigs in like Pennsylvania, you're just like driving from gig to gig.

You open your eyes and there they are, horse and bug it out. I do love that. They have cool ones. I saw one recently. It was matte black with black windows. A buggy was blacked out? Dude, yeah. It was sick. Maybe somebody died, and it was a hearse or something. I was just going to say, it could have been something else.

Yeah, I don't know. But it looked like the Pope was in town. That is pretty clean. Did they ever dress up their horses, I wonder? No. Well, they got convertible versions, too wonder? You know, do they, like... No. Well, they got convertible versions, too. They got the drop top, the soft top. Woo! There it is in the summertime.

Kids in the back being like, what the fuck you looking at? You see them back there? The horse and bug, yeah. So, like, I want to live Amish for a week just to see what's going on. You want to go... You could.

Yeah, well, there's this show I love watching called Return to Amish, and it's like a reality show, and they beef. God, it's so fucking funny, like, what they beef over. They're like, you texted Darlene. They're like, what the fuck did you say I did?

I texted? I don't do that devil magic. It's fucking great. I've never seen this show before. I've never heard of it. I love shitty TV. So it's just documenting people that live in the Amish community. It's people who I think the family's still full-blown Amish, but then somebody left and

then came back. I like when they leave. Oh, and they came back, though. Yeah, but I think this whole show is fake somehow because they wouldn't allow somebody with a video camera in their house. But, like, dude, the slow-mo, look at this. It's fucking hard.

That is kind of rad. But somebody goes to New York, and then they come home, and they're like, what was it like in that fucking people world? Well, that's like rumspringing. That's what it is, right? Rumspringing. You know what that is?

Sounds fun fun though. Rum springing is a, um, it's a one year sabbatical. Oh yeah. Uh, that they take to go here. The rum springing. You get one year to see if you want to live that life. Yeah, rum spring out. Write a passage during adolescence translated from Russian. You guys smoking crack. That's right. Yeah. Well, you got to light up a rock. I mean, if I had a year to leave the Amish and do whatever, how soon are and crack first day my god first day that's where my first day out go get a rock i'm getting the horse and buggy and i'm blowing crack on my ass so they're allowed to go rage for like a year and if they come back it's because they really i think the goal is if they come back it's because they really want to be a part of the faith this is like the amish bar mitzvah like that is the best thing i think you get a year you and i should write a movie about rum spring. We should do it.

It's like, I'll be your, I'm your older brother. I never did it. Oh, and in the movie, your we'll say you're, well,

how old are they? When you do rum spring, there's obviously a movie about that guy right there. Was it good? But it's no, it wasn't good. We're doing our version. Oh,

that's on Netflix. You think a Trevor Wallace, Andrew Santino rum spring isn't going to crush. It'll kill. Dude. Yeah. I got the idea right here. I'm your older brother.

When did it come out? 2022. Yeah. What does it say? It counts on hold. Jesus Christ. Young Amish man trying to travel to Berlin

on a right of passage to connect his roots. Yeah, no, no. I'm out. I'm out. I got a better version of this. Rumspring. I don't even know

if you can say that word still. Rumspringa. So you're 18 in the movie. You're about to become a man. What the fuck? That's Osama bin Laden and Ariana Grande grande you didn't know they used to date is that what yeah osama and ariana grande were a couple for a short period of time wow isn't that crazy she was the one she was whispering in his ear their tower too that was all her dude they're recreating the bush

yeah they are the bush secret yeah the bush secret by way, let's bring up a picture of that one more time for fun. When Bush is told that the planes hit the tower on 9-11, my favorite thing about that is people were so angry about his reaction. What did you want him to do? Turn to a bunch of kids and be like, dude, your guys are not going to believe this. Did you see the golf swing? Oh, I loved it. I loved it.

I talked about it in my special. I do a bit about where he's like, you know, we have to defeat terror, right? And he's like, now watch this swing. I love this guy. He was like, we're gonna bomb the world. Now check me out. I think he handled it hilariously. It was great. What did you want him to do? That's the second he found out about 9-11? That's when he's being told that the exact

words whispered in George Bush's ear that the United States is under attack. And then he just cuts to a Bluetooth ad. And he's like, oh, we'll be right back. But today we're sponsored by Bluetooth. It'd be great if he just threw in a zen. Just fucking threw in a roof. Oh, this is the exact. I've never seen this video. This is the exact moment where he is told in his ear.

What was he doing before this? He's just doing a book reading to kids or something like that. Doing one of those. Look, he's like, Mr. President, there's a plane just ran into the little train. Huh. Because after the first one, they didn't know it was a terrorist attack. There was a lot of misinformation about it it and that basically confirmed that it was a terrorist attack and we were at war and all and he's still reading the book well i think he's

contemplating what the fuck i'm gonna do well because what he's really thinking is it worked it worked it worked this is and he looks over he goes let me know about number three holy shit dude i had no idea that he was just like in a classroom right there he's just kicking it And he looks over and he goes, let me know about number three. Let me know about number three. Holy shit, dude. I had no idea that he was just in a classroom right there. Yeah, he was just kicking it. Well, how old were you during 9-11? What is it? You were born in what?

92. Holy shit. Eight. I think I was in first grade. Yeah, you don't remember it at all. No, I remember the morning. Oh, you do? I remember the morning.

We were in class and the teacher said something like, this is going to be a very different day. A different day? Yeah. That's all I remember. I remember pretty vivid morning. We were in class, and the teacher said something like, this is going to be a very different day. A different day? Yeah. That's all I remember. I remember pretty vividly. I was in high school. But my teacher also had a pet snake in that class,

so that's very on-brand for her. And if you got extra credit, you could watch her on the last Friday of the month, watch her feed the snake a mouse. What? Yeah. You could watch it. Everybody would go to recess, and if you got good grades, you could watch the snake feed.

Mrs. Kyle. Shout out to her. Mrs. Kyle? Yeah. Shout out to Mrs. Kyle. go to recess, and if you got good grades, you could watch the snake feed. Mrs. Kyle. Shout out to her. Mrs. Kyle? Yeah. Shout out to Mrs. Kyle. I hope she's one of the good ones. Yeah, she's still around. Well, because all I keep reading is every teacher.

Look, if you just Google teacher and student- I mean, if you want to be around kids all day, it says something about you. It's creepy, dude. Yeah. Oh, long division? But they just busted another one. They just busted a teacher. That one right there.

They just busted one yesterday. What does it say? Another ex-middle school teacher hooking up with a 14-year-old or something. It's insane, dude, how many of these chicks hook up with these young dudes. I just looked up teacher. I didn't even look. Yeah, first hit. Holy shit.

Put the word step teacher in front of it. See what else pops up. Step teacher. I dropped my pencil, step teacher. That's the new category coming out. Step teacher. When worlds combined. All the chalk has been smacked out of these erasers, step teacher.

Oh, I clap my cheeks like those erasers. That's crazy. I mean, look, if you're a teacher and you want to teach middle school, what's going on? Here's the deal. You should have to be ugly. I think you should have to be ugly so that kids aren't trying to have this weird relationship. The teacher or the kids? Whose fault is it?

Kids are always ugly. Kids are fucking repulsive creatures. Good answer. You ever seen a teenage boy? They're fucking hideous. They're dumb looking. Teenage boys are the ugliest things to ever walk the earth. They're the dumbest version of any creature.

That is true. They're the ugliest, most uncomfortable and awkward. They look like an energetic sloth. Their hair is kind of over their eyes. The facial expression is slow, but they're like moving with pace. And they're beaming with hormones, but they don't know how to feel about them.

So they're really like itchy and gross in their own skin and they're all pimply and greasy and they never... Teenage boys to me are... Hot. Yeah, for you, maybe. Not for me, dude.

I think they should be eradicated from society. I think you should hide your teenage boys until they become like 17. Like what Michael Jackson did with his son, Blanket. Yeah, trap them. And then let them out again. Yeah, when he's an adult. Hibernate your teenage boys.

From like 13 to 17, they should be hibernating. For about 10 winters. Yeah, like an all-boys school should be like a prison. They should not be able to leave. Until they become men and then they cut it out with the bullshit. Yeah. Did you ever go to like an all-boys school should be like a prison. They should not be able to leave until they become men, and then they cut it out with the bullshit. Yeah. Did you ever go to like an all-boys school?

No, dude. What about an all-girls school? A public school. I did go to those. Okay, yeah. Would not let me in. All right, just knock on the door. You don't know what I am!

Yeah. Don't define me! I got tits! No, I'm a public school kid, man. Yeah, you have to be. I'm a fucking public school kid through and through. I didn't really know. Private school to me was always, well catholic school or whatever as a kid that was for kids that whose

parents were either you know pretty rich yeah or kids who were fucking smart for me it was like we were just dumb regular kids like the smart kids would go to catholic school because they knew it was going to up their chance of getting to a better university i was a dumb kid in high school i was a senior in a math class with sophomores i thought was tight it was going to up their chance of getting to a better university. I was a dumb kid in high school. I was a senior in a math class with sophomores. I thought it was tight. It was not. Not tight. Yeah, the guy who's, this guy gave $20 to get me weed, never gave me weed.

Was it punked? Got, got, got? He was in my class with me. It was me and a guy who ripped me off for $20 just in class. And you never said anything? You never tried to fight this guy? He was. Bigger than you.

Very big. Bigger than you. He was on the football team. There's to fight this guy? He was bigger than you. Very big. He was on the football team. There's Trev in high school. That's high school, so think even worse. Yeah, dude, I gauged it. I look like I should run for mayor of Tucson. That's a guy right there. But yeah, the guy who stole weed from me or weed money was just sitting right

behind me in class, Anthony. What does it say verified on that? Anthony what? Let's call him out, dude. I don't remember his name. Anthony, you know who you are. You can't steal money from Trevor now, dude. Where is he now and where are you now? I have no idea. Pretty good. I think you won that war probably.

I think so. You got the 20 bucks back. Hey, you know what? If you need that $20, then whatever. That's God's plan right there, as our boy Champagne Poppy Drake said. That's exactly right. That kid has cancer, by the way, Anthony.

Riddled with it. Oh. Yeah. That's what you get, bitch. No. But yeah, that class, it was all sophomores and then me. Then my friends would be asking me, like, how's your algebra? Is your class hard?

And I'm like, algebra? When do I get to that level? Yeah. That's in college, right? Yeah. Dude, I was not smart. I was literally doing whippets and shit. I was a weird kid in high school.

I just hung out with dudes me like would just try to get high that sounds right we found out about chicks are like sophomore and a sophomore year work whoa seems like a lot of work but I'll try yeah that's what I think I'll put in some of the effort are these like an Indica or sativa like how do they get us high I remember one time my high school girlfriend said I don't friends are great she goes I don't know why you feel like lying to me about hanging out with your guy friends. And I was like, what do you mean?

And she's like, you'll pretend that we're going to hang out and then never make time for me. And I'm like, because I don't like you like that. I just want you to wear my football jersey on Fridays. That's all this relationship is. I like you a lot, but I like my friends so much more yeah Clark can play guitar and he has a tarantula

what do you bring to the table come on dude did you guys do that at your school where like the the chicks would wear the guy's football jersey on Friday

yeah I didn't play football but that was a thing I didn't either but just seeing that like that's how like girls would like hard launch like their relationship

with a guy they'd be like wait she's wearing where is jersey yeah it was also I think during my era it was also class rings was a big thing like you gave your a girl your class ring like she wore your class i think that was also like another thing i didn't do any of that cornball bullshit i didn't even yeah are you kidding me my authority a coach shut the fuck up you want to run a play you're talking you're running your mouth i was

so bad at that dude my coach actually criticized actually criticized me. He said something like, you're too good for a Letterman jacket. And I was like, no, that's not me. I don't want to wear that jacket. I want to play the sport. I don't need to wear the jacket to let people know I play the sport. And he was real critical of it.

What's worse, you doing that or the guy who wears the Letterman like five years after high school? Definitely the guy after high school. 100%. That's the saddest guy. I don't think that happens in this day and age anymore, but it did my generation.

Small town, maybe? Yeah. Also, class ring was really weird. It was like, I would see guys after high school wear their class ring. I'm like, what are you doing, dude?

My buddy used to work for the USC football team. Didn't even play for USC football, but he worked for the team. He did sales and shit. So we had a ring somehow, and when we would go out, he would wear it,

and I'm like, that is stolen valor. And when we would go out, he would like wear it. And I'm like, that is stolen valor. Stolen valor, dude. But also like. Check your paper, soldier. It's like, I would see him from across. We go to like the bungalow

in Santa Monica, the worst bar in the world, but my favorite. And you just see him across. It's just like, you can just see him talking about. People would probably bite the bait.

I'm sure there were some girls that were like, that's so cool. The ring was massive. Yeah. It was like a ring pop on steroids. All right. But like, I like try to wear it. It didn't fit. I'm sure there were some girls that were like, that's so cool. The ring was massive. It was like a ring pop on steroids. But I tried to wear it. I have little feminine fingers. It didn't

fit my fingers. I was like, I'll just wear it as a necklace. Little tiny hand. The bungalow in Santa Monica, that was the spot, huh? Yeah. You ever been? That was the spot. Many, many, many years ago, man. I used to live in Santa Monica when I first moved to LA, so that was like the Saturday day spot if I didn't have anything going on. I can't believe you're not a beach guy. I would fit you for a beach guy for the rest of your life.

Yeah, I lived in Santa Monica for the longest time. Then I lived in Venice for a little bit. Got over it. Sick of the homeless stuff? I know that's cliche, but it is real. It is tough down there. It's just too much. It's too much vagrancy. I didn't like leaving my house and then you're just immediately in the chaos. Yeah, that's what it is. It's too much. I love New York, but it's the second you're out of your place, you're just in it. You're just in the 101. See, but New York feels less threatening to me because everyone's kind of doing something. Correct.

Where Venice people are like milling about. I just feel like it's like nobody has a goal. Yeah, that is true. If Venice had more like guys with briefcases, I'd be like, this is normal. Yeah, but Venice feels like how all of the characters in Truman Show were. They're pretending to do something. You're not fucking doing anything. None of these people have jobs.

Your laptop is upside down. What are you typing on? Dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong. Meeting adjourned. Yeah, exactly. No, that was my problem with the West Side was always like- It's really lax. It's a lot of people doing nothing, and they're all there.

I don't like that. It is very bizarre. Tuesday, 2 p.m., packed. Packed. What is going on? Neil Brennan used to be like, I got to get out of here. I don't need to go into another coffee shop watching someone write their dream. I was like, that's so funny.

That is funny. The West Side is filled with people just like- Manifesting. Like last night, we went out and got something to eat, and there was a kid who was writing what looked like code, maybe. I'm too dumb to know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was sleeping at his computer

at the coffee shop writing code. And I was like, LA is a city where it's like, if you're going to have a dream, we want to all see you doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You better get out there and show off your dream. They want a double-sided laptop so everybody can see at all given angles.

Like, I am writing a screenplay. It is kind of weird. I mean, this city promotes flaunting the process where I think other cities like New York and Chicago are like you don't really

talk about it until you've done it but here somebody moves here the first year they're like I'm an actor and you're like

oh wow what have you been doing it's like I haven't I was on a ring camera last night so yeah

haven't even done one audition but it's just people are allowed you're allowed to promote your dreams at face value here so much louder than other places are a little bit more embarrassed about their dreams but i also feel like the more you talk about it it's like it's like the louder guy in the fight's gonna get his ass beat you know like the more you talk about it the more i'm like i don't believe you that's true right just do it yeah do the work even in

this town like wow you know those guys are just like every time they see you like yeah i'm actually pitching i'm working on saying that movie i told you yeah dude we gotta have and then i'm like what you have 10 different projects going on right now my name whenever somebody does that i always go but how are you smart like are you how are you how's the guy yeah because i don't want to like fucking give a shit about what project you're working on how's the dude yeah like what is i never know how to like stop that talk but that's great i cut it off i cut it off always like, yeah, but what's going on with you for real? Yeah, you're great with that. Well, when I do that, it's kind of like it's saying, no offense, but I don't give a fuck about.

Right, right, right, right, right. If I like you as a guy, I don't like your fucking, your drive for work. Do you think entertainment's the only art that does that? Do you think anybody in HR or just in business is like, you know what I've been working on? I was crushing some slack this morning, and then tomorrow night we've got an investor meeting with a pitch meeting. No, yeah, look at finance. I'm sure those guys never shut the fuck up about that shit. Yeah, that's Adderall, baby.

Yeah, right? They're just fucking cranking it. Cocaine, cocaine's new daddy, Adderall. I just feel like anything in a business of where your success rate is dependent upon your output, I think people are going to talk a lot about it, right? If you're a hedge fund guy, anything in money and finance and movement,

it's like you have to go make it, which is what we do. It's like you've got to go make your own career. People are going to talk about it because they want you to know they're doing it in the event that you can maybe help them get the thing that they need, which is also a little disingenuous and unfortunate

that it's like, you know what I'm working on? And you remember that guy we were chatting with? If you know, if that guy's, I don't know if you guys and you remember that guy we stand with if you know if that guy's i don't know if you guys i mean if he can yeah if you reach out and connect us and which i i'll help i'll help anybody that i can that i know is putting in the effort to do something right i'll help you as much as i can but sometimes people are crazy out of bounds in this city oh my god they ask for stuff and you're like that's fucking insane yeah why would that's insane that you even think that that's cool to ask for but you gotta applaud the balls too yeah sometimes i'm like well fucking if you don't say it nobody knows tim dillon had a

really funny story where he's like some guy randomly dms like i got a great pitch for rogan and then he didn't respond for like four hours and the guy's like fine you're a bitch anyways four hours how did we get from this to this yeah but i all that would make me want to respond that would make me be like that's fucking i'm a bitch i'll scream i'm a bitch i'll screenshot this and send it to rogan it's just you clearly have alpha energy radiating through your body i'll fire this off to big dog yeah that is well the the flippant nature of people that love you and hate you is very funny too like if you ever dive into your request folder sometimes that's crazy i dive in there sometimes like once in a while i like to like duck in there and see what's going on my favorite is if

i see someone has messaged me four years ago and is like um i fucking love you man i love this thing that you did or whatever and then a year and a half later i was like dude fuck you loser yeah what changed and then another year later they're like what's been going on with you and bobby dude you can literally see a timeline of their emotional instability with you yeah well you're like what's going on it's like just a live motoring going i do kind of dip into those requests sometimes just to see people who have responded over the years no i never i don't respond to it no no because it's most of them validates well no but most of them are like um uh most of them are racist video clips that people want me to show Bobby. Most of them are like a fat Asian guy

who's like, is this Bobby? That's mostly what it is in my DMs. I was going to say. Exclusively dudes. I will say that. I was going to say. It's always bros. Yeah.

It's always bros. I'll show you. Are Bobby's DMs horny? Oh, yeah, because he's single. He's running. He's running hot. Look at how many dudes. It's all dudes.

Look at this. All dudes. Yeah. A lot of car profile photos. Marco, Ryan david that was me that's you that was my finster look at that is a danny dallas nick joel joe rowan craig rowan could be a chick no it's a dude oh fuck and it's two dudes hugging holding fists up even manlier but do you see i mean it's just like it's literally it's all bros that are trying to send me a funny clip.

Yeah. Or saying something rude like, fuck you. Yeah. It's all the same bullshit. It is funny how people have a change of heart. Are you a single guy right now? I'm a single guy right now. You are?

Yeah. Yeah. Looking for love. Don't really know what's going on. But also like this, I was touring like crazy and ready for the special and I was in Australia and now I'm like, I'm just, once this is out, I can pick my head up, and I'm here for like five months, and then I can figure out life.

Let's talk about Down Under for a minute. Australia. Do you love it? You've been, yeah? Yeah, dude, I shot a movie there at the beginning of the year. Holy shit, congrats. Yeah, the beginning of this year. Dude, you are booked and busy.

I was on a flight the other day. I saw you at a house party? Yeah, well, dude, yeah, yeah, yeah, I did that. Yeah, yeah, that was didn't and what do you think about it let's pull up rmdb on that no but it's so cool just like i had fun yeah you're always it's fun to pop in on something that's what i want yeah that's what i want yours well dude the risk of like like this movie that i'm that's coming out next year i i'm in it it's different house party or fucking what was the other one I did Dave I think you forgot the show

Lil Dicky's the actor in it yeah Paradise no that was Charlie's movie no what was the other thing that came out see that's so cool you're forgetting roles

dude I have four roles in my life I know all of them well no these are like small things I do like it's tiny like uh no the thing I did in Me Time with Kevin Hart and them

yeah like yes yes but it's small it's so small that the onus is not on me is what I'm saying. But I love that. You show up to set,

you're in it for a week and you fucking dip. Yeah, have fun and leave. That's why if it doesn't do well, it doesn't bother me but like this movie coming out next year will bother me

because it's, I mean. It's all you. Well, no, it's not, but I've been like, I'm a major, I'm one of the three main characters. Where'd you shoot it in? Us.

Melbourne. Melbourne. Melbourne, yeah. Melbourne, yeah, mate. Fucking. Yeah, I liked it out there you know i loved is how they pronounce certain words like how they how they say tattoo blows my mind tattoo yeah they just they get the first the t the a the t and then just deep throat

where'd you spend the most time sydney sydney yeah did you like sydney loved it i thought it was cool but it's all just a town in my head it was gonna be like the wild thorn bears out there like it's like some like jungle dude it's just you gotta go into the outback mate you gotta go out in the bath yeah we went to perth did you go there i didn't go to western i'm gonna go to perth on this next run we're doing next year fuck yeah yeah i'm gonna shows are phenomenal did you do stand-up when you're out there shooting or no i just no when i was filming i didn't have any time we were shooting every day and we shot on the fucking weekends which was crazy so we have one day off that's a lot of hard work for australians because they're they needed to shoot

the fuck out of this movie we needed to knock it out fast they only had a certain we only had so many days yeah and uh um dude that time how long were you there for two and a half months or something like that holy shit you were you around there was a minute where i just stopped seeing you on lineups because was that when you were shooting it? Yeah, I was down there, yeah. Well, I also, at the beginning of the year, I was in New York for a while, and then I went to Paris for this weird, crazy thing. Yeah, stop seeing you on lineups not in a disrespectful way.

No, I get it. I'm like, he's just working on some shit. No, no, no. It was New York and then Paris and then Paris. I came right back here for two days, and then I went to Australia for two and a half months. Holy fuck. So I was gone for a really long time.

And then the moment I got back, we left again. So it was kind of, yeah. The beginning of the first half of the year was got back, we left again. So it was kind of, yeah. The beginning of the first half of the year was... That jet lag is unreal. It was kind of wild. Yeah, I lost my mind a little bit. It's kind of unreal. I had a little bit of a break, a little psychotic break.

Really? Well, I was there for two... I literally was in the United States. Trying to communicate. It was nuts. It was just two... I went Paris. I went New York, Paris, Paris, New Yorkork new york la for two days packed and then

left so when i landed and the day i landed i had to go to work like i had to go to a fitting and do these reads and all this stuff and then that night i had like a little bit of a psychotic break yeah i went to go get something to eat and i was like i'm in fucking i'm so far away from home like it fucked me up for a second yeah like i I called my wife and I was like, I'm a little fucked up. I'm not gonna lie, I felt freaked out. Because it all was so fast. Yeah, I did shrooms in Amsterdam over the summer. Oh, that's fun.

That was fun, but then I looked at a Google map. Don't do that if you're on shrooms. I'm like, dude, I'm so fucking far from home. If you die, yeah. Yeah, this is gonna fly my body or I'm gonna get buried in Amsterdam. What, next to Red Light District? Hell yeah, dude. Yeah, not a bad place.

And this is Trevor Wallace. Right here, Trevor Wallace. Did you go to the Red Light District? I did. Yeah? Did you get one? You got a little friendly? You can be honest about it.

It's not that big of a deal. I opened up a door because I was looking for my friend and I came out not a virgin anymore. Good for you. Lost it. I lost it in Amsterdam. First time I went to Amsterdam, I saw that. We went down to the red light district. Doesn't it blow your mind it's just there?

Yeah. But you think it would be more hidden. It was like being on Venice Beach, and it's just like, smoke shop, kebab shop, tits. It wasn't hidden at all. No, I thought the freedom of it was kind of cool. It was awesome. Do it or don't.

That's how it feels there. I genuinely don't have the balls to do it. I had friends that did, and I was like, I can't. And they were like, it's legal here. I'm like, I know, dude, but I don't know. The male brain cannot comprehend Amsterdam. It's legal here is the same as when someone's at a buffet, and they're like, it's all free.

And you're like, all right, you don't have to eat all of it just because it's there. You don't need crab legs at 9 a.m. Yeah, but I need to. And schedti and pizza. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I couldn't have done it because I was too, I just was like, I don't want to do it. Watching guys go in and out.

So the first night, it was me and Michael. People watching is great. The people watching was the funny. Wait, did Blau get a little friendly? So Blau got ripped off. Hilarious. My experience was like right down the middle. Very, hey, what's up it was cool

semen good exchange he got ripped off and they kept asking for more and more money and then after a certain amount of time they're like oh well your time's up like you have 20 minutes and it's 19 minutes he comes back to a bar fuming i mean he's got the shortest temper maybe of anybody i've met but i love him yeah hothead so hehead, yeah. Hothead. So he's back doing, fucking 200, and I paid for it. I was like, dude, go here. Go do it.

You know? He obviously pays me back. He's mad about losing your money. Yeah, but that's exactly. Yeah. He was like... How much was it? How much was your...

I think he ended up spending $400. Nothing happened. What was your event? How much was your... 200. 200 bucks? 200 bucks. Good God.

But he came back... I feel like that's crazy cheap for some reason. Yeah, 200 US dollars. What is it there? Yeah, in Amsterdam, that's like 16 baht or something. But he came back fuming. Like, so mad. Because he's such a control guy.

He's like, you don't rip me off. He's just like yelling shit, and he was so mad. I was like, dude, you can't let this be your one Amsterdam experience. Let's find you. We'll find you one. Yeah. So we took a, yeah, we got him back out. Took another walk.

Yeah. And then he came back, biggest smile ever. But the people watching us, hilarious, because you'd watch a guy go in there. We sat at a bar across from one, just having a few beers. And then you'd see this guy walk out, big smile, slightly glistening a little bit, like a cinnamon glaze. God damn it, it's hilarious. Now, when you go in there, you don't have to get too detailed, but when you go in there, is there like a menu?

No, it's very... Or they just say, hey, this is it. Yeah, everything is orally, you know what I mean? But she walked in, she's like... Because I was like, how does this work? And she's like, give me $200 and we do this. And I was like, all right. Wow, that's a great experience.

The experience was like... It's like McDonald's. What do you want? This? That's all we have. Everything was beeping in the background too. There's a fry chef in the back smoking ducks. As she's blowing you, she's just like, somebody take those fries out, please. Please.

Comfortably fried. Breakfast is over. So take me back down to Australia You went Sydney, Perth, Adelaide Melbourne, Perth Auckland, did you do New Zealand? I didn't do New Zealand Adelaide?

I did not Did you do Sydney, Perth, Melbourne, Brisbane Brisbane, yeah Brisbane Now what did you like the most? Be honest, what city was the most fun? The most fun

The Sydney crowd was awesome They were great Sydney's pretty rad Perth is a really cool city It's like the most isolated the sydney crowd was awesome they were great sydney's pretty rad perth is a really cool city it's like the most isolated city in the world allegedly well yeah it's way out there it's way out there but they're not like they're on the other side of australia nobody neighbors them and then they're not within like five hour flight of anywhere yeah it takes from sydney to perth flight it was what it's like four hours so almost yeah it's like la to New York. Chicago or New York.

It blows my mind. I mean, in my head, Australia was the size of Hawaii. Like, I'm an idiot. Like, in my head, I was like, wait, wait, wait. I didn't look at the travel schedule. It's so big.

I was like doing so much that I didn't like pack before the trip for the night before. I didn't really know what was going on. I was like, all right, wait, why is there

a five-hour flight? Where are we going? They're like, it's just the other side of Australia. It is wild. But it's a massive place. Yeah, it's just the other side of Australia. It is wild. But it's a massive place. Yeah, it's a big, big fucking country.

What else did I like? The eastern side is a little bit closer. It's easier to get from Sydney to Melbourne and all that stuff. I didn't... Dude, I am so dumb. They were like, yeah, you pass Hawaii to get here. I was like, what? I thought you had to go, like, pass New York.

In my head, everything is east. Yes. Like, America, like, anything left, it's just a brick wall. It's Truman Show. It's just done. It falls off. Yeah. Well, it is flat.

It is very, very flat. The world is flat. It is flat. We are flat earthers here on Whiskey Ginger. Yes, we are, baby. Yeah. You believe what you want to believe. Look in the horizon, dude.

Know the truth. Know the truth. The frogs are gay. No, but I know what you mean. I do get the thought that you're like, which way is quicker? But yes, obviously, yeah. It blows my mind. West is...

What else did I really like about it? It takes so long to get there. The shows were great. The food was... Food. It was food. Food was good. Didn't go to Tasmania, did you?

No. Missed out, man. That's where... I heard they do incest there. Yeah, that's where it started. Really? Yeah, that's where it... That's HQ?

Yep, that is the version one. That's the beta of incest. Really? No, Tasmania is actually... Hobart is where Some of the original penal colonies were And you can go to where the first People were shipped down To be in jail Some societies as ancient Egypt, brother, sister, father Daughter, mother, son, cousin, cousin, aunt, nephew

Other combinations, royal family Married as a means of perpetuating The royal lineage At this point McCone is just googling the word incest and he's really interested in it

I thought that was going to add to our story but it did nothing but he just didn't know what the word incest meant I was curious to know where incest started it's at home

right here dude inside calls are coming from inside the house inside but the original penal code is kind of wild you see where the

original prisons were but the funniest part about it is they're rad really imagine if someone's like i'm gonna banish you out to an island yeah and you're this is punishment this is prison but then you get there you're like this is a fucking tropical island there was one in sydney on the outskirts kind of like right we're on this boat and it was just a isolated very very small island right smaller than epstein's i haven't been but it's just an isolated, very, very small island, right? Smaller than Epstein's. I haven't been. But it's just, it's just a castle and like,

oh, that used to be a prison. I was like, dude, 360 views of the water and the opera house? It's beautiful. Yeah. What's wrong with this? Lock me up, daddy.

Yeah, no, some of these original penal colonies were like really beautiful little areas. It was kind of crazy. And the Tasmanian devil, you know,

the little Tasmanian Devil, the reason that they call it that is because they... I sacrificed one of my third specials. You do? Yeah. Well, don't tell anybody. Sorry. The Tasmanian Devil would scream in the middle of the night, and when these people first came to the island, non-indigenous people, obviously, they thought it was

the souls and ghosts of the dead. So they thought it was a... No way. That's what they listen? That's what they look like? When they fucking... So imagine that sound at night coming from the trees and that's all you hear

when you pull up on a fucking boat. Immediately you're like, let's get the fuck out of here. Yeah, how do you not leave? Well, a lot of people were afraid that there was dead... Dead... The ghosts and the souls of the dead, they thought, were inhabiting part of the island.

God damn. That's why it's got a little Tasmanian devil, because it's a dark... It looks like ten animals in one. Dude, that thing is actually incredibly rad. That thing's jaw is so fucking strong, it's insane. When the guy went to go feed it... Look at the jaw strength of a Tasmanian devil. How do you know?

Look at that. Yeah, I couldn't finish. Oh, nice finish because i was so interested in the stats did you see koalas down there yeah fuck yeah did you smell one they smell like shit well i don't know i don't know if i smelled it i just i touch petted it yeah there was one we were like right next to dude it smelled terrible really that's so funny i didn't i mean i didn't know the kangaroos were wild because they're dope they just don't give a fuck. They do their own shit. You go right up to them and they're kind of bugged out that you're in their space.

Yeah, it feels very like, alright man, act like you've been here before. Oh, cool, a kangaroo. I punch, I get it. Did you eat one? No, I wanted to. It was delicious. I heard. I actually really enjoyed it. All the audience were like, you gotta have one down. You gotta try a little kangaroo meat. Of course.

It was very fucking good. Yeah, but these, oh, look, see, these guys, the jaw strength of these Tasmanian devils is absurd. God damn. For its size, it's the strongest bite possible, but it rips through bone like butter because their jaw is, this is the strongest part of all their muscles in the front of their face. I did not see any of these little guys. No, they were rad.

But they fed it a carcass and they, dude, he threw it to him. But they're slow. They're not fast. Oh, really? And he was like, oh, you're probably wondering why I'm throwing it and walking away. Because if he'll get a hold of your fucking hand, he'll rip it clean off. And I was like, really? He's like, he'll rip your fucking hand clean off your body.

Yeah. And I was like, holy shit. I mean, you did watch the way they consume. It's creepy. Yeah, dude. This is what my first grade teacher Consume. It's creepy. Yeah, dude. This is what my first grade teacher should have been showing us. It's like a snake and a mouse. What the fuck is this? Yeah, I didn't... God, that's crazy.

I didn't see any of these. Yeah, they're creepy. They're like big rats. You know what they look like? Rodents of unusual size from The Princess Bride. Yeah, they look... That's what they look like. Do you remember that movie? Princess Bride, yes. Oh, such a good flick. It's such a good flick. The Rodents of Unusual Size. Yeah, they kind of, such a good flick. It's such a good flick. The rodents of unusual size. Yeah, they kind of look like a rat that'd be in like Ninja Turtles or something. Yeah, it's a little baby splinter.

Yeah. So now, okay, so now the special's out. Are you doing a new hour you're touring with right now? Or are you still touring with the hour? So I'm not on tour right now. The plan is to go back out. The plan is to stay in LA for some months, build it up, you know, get something I'm happy with, get at least like 30 new.

Yeah. And then go work. Yeah. And then go do some clubs and then see where that takes me. Good. Yeah. I mean, I'm just excited to be here. Take some meetings, try to pitch a couple of things.

I love what you do. You're like, you pop in, do a cameo on a thing or you're like, you know, reoccurring role. And then, you know, you tour bad friends and you tour yourself. Yeah. I feel like you're so good at playing the duality of traditional and also just main form media, mainstream media. Yeah, mainstream media. I'm trying. I mean, because I still do like acting and all that stuff.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, and you're a great actor. I mean, honestly, people can see what you do just by the sketches that you create that you're writing, producing them, directing them, and acting them. And the characterization that you're able to do. I mean, dude, look, you're going to have a fucking long, long, good career. Just the problem is with what we do is we used to rely on them, and now we don't have to. So it's nice to go back over there sometimes.

But it's so much better to keep creating your own shit. Yeah, I never want to leave the online audience in that freedom. You can't because you built it. It's yours. They can't shake that out of you you know whereas hollywood and any of that stuff it's very unpredictable it's so quick for them to be like we don't like this guy anymore and you're like what did i thought you guys loved that guy they're like nah dude fuck that guy we don't like him anymore yeah and there's also so many people making that decision there's like 40 people like behind a show and if one person's like i'm kind of out on santino it's

like you know and that's just at a lunch for some reason. And you're sitting across from him. He's like, where's the walnuts and the salad? We don't like you anymore. But you're going to keep moving at such a fucking lightning pace, I think. You're off to the races. And I hope people go enjoy the special

and go watch it right now. It's available on Amazon Prime. And if you don't have Amazon Prime, get it just for this. Or wait three years and I'll put it on my YouTube. Nah, dude, just get it. If you don't have it. If you have a Prime account where you ship shit to your house, that's, you get Prime Video. Now you're free video.

Yeah, that's, well, how many people are on Amazon Prime? Let me find out. What are the stats? Dude, if you're one of the people that's not on it, I'm shocked. You have to. Yeah, what do you do? Yeah, it's insane. My house is like an Amazon warehouse.

The fact, literally. 200 million Amazon Prime members. And all those people are going to watch my special. Isn't that crazy? They better, dude. They better. I love Amazon Prime. Like, the fact that I want to be like, I want an air fryer and it shows up tomorrow, amazing.

Yeah, it is a little scary how quickly. I needed these high power magnets, like little, I was replacing something and I needed high power magnets. And I literally ordered it in the morning being like I'll get to it tomorrow and it got to my house that afternoon it makes other shipping look horrendous you're like 5-7 business days I'm like what is this Lucy

are you relapsing? where are you? I've seen an Amazon truck at 10pm when have you seen a UPS truck past 3pm doesn't exist they're out there working hustling and busting on that Bezos buck on that Bezos just moved to Miami did he really yeah him and messy running it up how much did

messy get to go to Miami what was there something crazy but I just found this out god bless him you're done over there it's nice to come over here and cash out 150 mil or something but 60 million a year but but he gets equity in the team right what I gave him a piece of it. Which is so much bigger than people realize. This is like a billion dollar deal, essentially. Good for that. Messi reached 1.6 with-

That's his career earnings with the Miami MLS deal. That's kind of cool, though, that you can kind of say goodnight over there, gracefully come over here and make some coin. I mean, what's-his-name was the first one to do that, right? Beckham was the first guy to come over here and make some coin. And then went back. And then made a movie, Bennett like Beckham. Is that him?

That's not him. Nah. No, that's Amanda Bynes. Spitballing. I don't know who that is. I saw Amanda Bynes in Toronto one time. She had a face tattoo. It's a heart right here.

I know. She slipped away a little bit, but I think she got sober, right? And she came back. I think she got it all together again. I mean, she was like one of those childhood Disney stars who kind of had like an infinite amount of growth and room to become like, you know, a movie star or whatever.

The Amanda show. I mean, holy shit. This just shows you sometimes the, uh, sometimes fucking Hollywood will get you. Don't, don't, uh,

don't let it get you, baby. I'm not. Don't take that extra meeting. Hey, I've been here. Oh, what's that mean?

They'll, they'll say, they go, Trevor, there's an extra meeting. Don't go to an extra meeting. Is that how you sell your soul to the devil? I'm not going to talk about it right now.

Have you done it? Was it an easy process? Do you need paperwork? Imagine if I just started levitating right now. Believe me, I'm like, Doja Cat sold her soul to the devil. I'm like, how does that work? It is funny. There are people that genuinely believe that there is a room in Hollywood,

there's a thing that happens that is a... It's like in Encino. I kind of like it. You started laughing. What happened? Do you know about it? No, no, no, dude. We'll be right back after the sponsor from Satan.

Promo code 666. Yeah. I do like the, like, they sold the soul to the devil. It's like, I would love, where is it? I'll sign up. Sounds cool. What do you mean? I would love to do that.

Look, it's 2023. Can I have a three-month trial? Yeah, let me get in and get out. This is Spotify, baby. Let me get that premium. It's a subscription service to sell your soul to the devil? Yeah, check it out real quick. I mean, who?

Robert Johnson? He's the first guy that sold his soul to the devil? That's what they say. He sold his soul to the devil. What's the song, The Devil Went Down to Georgia? Is that him? No, no, no, no. Different song?

That was Charlie Daniels. You knew that quick. But Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil, apparently, and could play guitar better than anybody else. But prior to selling his soul, could never play a lick. Sold his soul and became one of the greatest guitarists of all time. So they say. You know who else is like that?

John Mayer. John Mayer didn't know how to play the guitar. Sold his soul to the devil. Now he's opening up. Fucking he's doing Dead & Company. There's a lot of guys I can name like this that sold their soul to the devil that didn't have any talent before. Any of your comic friends you know that sold their soul?

Hell yeah, dude. So many. Theo. Oh, Theo. I think he might be an investor yeah i think he's he's got rights down there he's from brazil like all the southern thing that he does it's such a good southern brazil yeah yeah it's all a bit i mean there's a lot of guys that have done it um but and i can't wait for it to happen to you it's the funniest thing ever being like like, you know, man. Theo negotiating with the devil. Yeah, dude. I mean, give me fucking three to five and I'll try, dude.

You know, it's a little warm, but I once knew a guy who was born in an air fryer. So this ain't too weird for me. I love Theo. That guy's the... He's one of the greatest, dude. He's genuinely one of the greatest. Not just comics, but people. Great.

I love him. His rise is appropriate, as is yours, genuinely. Are you and Theo kind of the same? Thank you, man. Are you and Theo in the same kind of class, LA class, would you say? Yeah, kind of. A little bit. I mean, not really.

Who are some of the guys in your class? Fahim Anwar is my oldest friend in comedy. I would say he's my literal class. Me, him, Rick Glassman kind of all were brewing at the same time. Me, him, Rick Glassman, Brent Morin. that was kind of my class of guys so to speak um but a lot of my class was new york guys that i met you know like the de stefanos and sam morel and uh and norman and we had all met at like festivals and all that stuff so as we all started to grow in our own cities it was cool to like watch that's awesome them get up and

me get up were you doing stand-up in chicago or just new york no i started out here this is my first my first stand-up spot was here in fact i told that to the improv last night at the party the improv was the first club that passed me really first club that passed me in fact you know what's so fucking crazy the guy the interviewer said that he goes oh that's fucking cool and i said you know what's insane i bet you, and I still have the email. I have the email from... Was it Rita or somebody else? No, Eric Abrams at the time was booking it. Yeah.

And I have it right here. Look at this. 1016, which is my birthday. You know how crazy that is? On my birthday, 2009. I still have the email. Hey, please see your set time down below. What's the lineup on that?

This is kind of great. I think I read this one other time. So, it was October 24th, 1130. It was a show back then at the Improv called Chunks and Punks. And $10. I don't know if we got paid $10 or that was the ticket price was $10. I think both, yeah. But it says $10 on it.

It was a guy named Will C. who hosted it. Then me. I had my first spot. 10 minutes. I was first out the gate. Tough spot. Yeah, but at 1130, that's not bad. They're already boozed up. 1138, yeah, it's actually true. Saturday, 10 minutes. That was first out the gate. Tough spot. Yeah, but at 11.30, that's not bad. They're already boozed up. 11.38,

yeah, it's actually true. Saturday, late show. Then it was Tony Vinn, Sean Kelly, Alex Moore, Chris Neff, and then the two names you'll probably recognize, Ryan Sickler and Darren Carter. Yeah. Ryan Sickler and Darren Carter got the late, late spot. That 12.28 and 12.38. Now, one would say,

you know, those guys were getting better spots, but also that late, that's tough. Yeah. But look at this under the pay breakdown. This is really funny. They send you a, they sent me a PDF saying, yeah, the hosts are going to get $35. Check this out. 10 to 14 minutes set Sunday through Thursday gets $7 and 50 cents. Literally a gallon. gets $7.50. Literally a gallon of gas. That's crazy.

$7.50. 15-minute sets of Monday through Thursday booked headliner gets $15. What? And if you got a Friday and Saturday, you get a $25 check.

Yeah, it's crazy. Here's my favorite, too. This is really great. Comic paychecks for performances of the Hollywood Improv may be used as cash at the front bar.

Hey! You were allowed to use your check. You got the Dave Buster bucks right there. That's what it was, dude. The funniest is, and I think this is- God, that's fucking wild. Flappers used to make you sign a contract that you were getting $0.

They used to make you sign a paper and be like, hey, just so you know, this is a free spot, but sign here. Wait, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. $0. Look at your headlining. It's different, but it used to be like

if you were doing a five-minute set on, you know how they book 20 comics on it? Yeah. They'd be like, here, okay, you want to do this date? Here, sign this to say you if you were doing a five-minute set, you know how they book 20 comics on it? Yeah. They'd be like, here, okay, you want to do this date? Here, sign this to say you're in. And it was like a contract. And it'd be like, amount paid, zero.

And you would sign it. That's so fucking neat. That's hilarious. That's so rude. Well, there's a bar here in the Valley called Residuals. And if you could bring a check of $0, a residual check for $0, 0 cents. You get a free drink and they used to staple it. Oh, all your, I don't know if it's still there. Are they still doing it?

I don't know if they're still doing that, but you should be able to give them a residual check. And if it was zero, zero, that's really funny. You'd get, uh, you'd get some booze and they would keep, they used to keep the checks back in the day. Do you get some from old ass shit? Like maybe like punk to something that's like point, you know, three cents. Yeah.

The funniest check I get is, is about two cents every six months for a show called uh uh code nine it was a hidden camera disney show i got hired uh hidden camera on disney yeah that sounds a little illegal yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm your real dad it was nuts it was uh no shit code nine and when you get I mean, are you cashing a three cent? Oh, it's on Prime. It's on Prime. I love this show, by the way. You can watch that right after you watch Pterodactyl.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So are you cashing that check? No, it's a direct deposit into a thing. Because I got a check recently for $10, and I don't have it in me to cash it. And I'm not even spilling out money. $10. But why don't you just direct deposit it from the... They direct deposit for you now.

This isn't residual. This is for a show. Oh, for something you did. Oh, for a stand-up don't you just direct deposit it from the, they direct deposit for you now. This isn't residual. This is for a show. Oh, for something you did. Oh, for a stand-up show. Oh, yeah. Here you go, man. Like, to pull out my Chase app and find the right background to get it up. You could do it.

I promise you can do it. God, but I don't want to. Would you have a producer or a guy that does the podcast with you guys? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, make him do it then. Yeah, true. That's him. I make him do all sorts of crazy shit.

Yeah, he doesn't have a top of his head. What is this here? This is Code 9 on Disney. Yeah, I go i go down yeah my good buddy mark herwick golf and gas i think that yeah snow globe surprise that's the one i get before after punked uh almost simultaneously oh really no no sorry right after punked i did 10 or 11 i don't remember what year it was yeah dude we watched that on flagrant recently me and michael were watching one with like Ewan Blauer

in the same episode yeah it's crazy to look at yeah he got flown off from New York I remember they're like we're bringing this

kid from New York well I remember he said he moved to LA after that and he was like that was like the show and everyone in LA

was like dude this guy's on fucking he was in New York at the time I think yeah he was yeah he moved

to LA yeah they were like dude this guy's this is big this is like a big thing it was a big deal to move out after that oh it's massive

there was no social media like Punk'd was the thing yeah it was funny so i so i uh that check i get three cents legitimately every six or seven months because they play it on a disney i'm prime baby those are my people paying your bills thank you honestly i want to talk to me i want to say thank you so much man and i hope people keep i hope prime keeps paying your bills i hope they give you 10 more specials and you explode and you get so big that we just don't talk. Yeah.

I hope you get so big that we just don't talk. Please. I want to take up three spots in your guys' lot. I'm going to park just parallel and vertically

at the same time. I don't know how to do it. I'm just going to... God bless, dude. I hope you do. Your favorite dinosaur of all time? Pterodactyl.

Go watch Pterodactyl right now on Amazon. And if you don't know how to spell pterodactyl, Trevor Wallace is an easier way to get there. Yeah, the guys on Are You Garbage, both of them thought it started with a T. Yeah, have you met those guys? Kind of fucked up.

Those are middle school dropouts. Shout out to Are You Garbage. Probably some of the funniest dudes I know. All right, Big Dog, we end the episode the same way. I love you. I really do appreciate you. You're a great dude, a very funny comedian. Thank you.

And a sexy, sexy cat and uh i wish continued success as i see you as we go on because you you are genuinely one of the good ones um we end the episode the same way you look in that camera right there uh you end the episode with one word or one phrase and i'll say something before you say that please go watch pterodactyl on amazon support the comics so we can keep doing this thing uh One word or one phrase. Into that camera whenever you're ready. But Dussy. In here, we pour whiskey. Whiskey.

Whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.

Ginger's are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.