Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Trixie Mattel

Episode Date: January 29, 2021

Santino sits down with Trixie Mattel to chat about the dirtiest drag bars in LA, anonymous D pic competitions in Weho and how unimpressed her mom was when she came out and moar. More Trixie https://www.trixiemattel.com/ ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! RITUAL - Get key nutrients without the BS Get 10% OFF during your first 3 months! https://ritual.com/whiskey BETTERHELP - You deserve to feel better Get the help you need today from wherever you are http://betterhelp.com/whiskey for 10% OFF your first month Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips EDITING AND PRODUCTION DESIGN BY THE AMAZING WHISKEY GINGER TEAM JENNA SUNDE https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday/ JOE FARIA https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria Y&S https://www.instagram.com/youngandsick/ Intro Music by Rocom: https://www.youtube.com/user/RocomTelevision Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If this is your first time joining us, welcome to the show. If you're on YouTube, click subscribe, hit the notification bell. We post every single Friday, alright? That's where we'll be. If you are looking for more content in the Whiskey Ginger world, go to patreon.com slash whiskeygingerpodcast. That's where the old Red Rocket does the solo Cheeto chats.

That's where I do my solo pod over there. We don't post it over here anymore. We post it on the Patreon. We also do Zooms for the top tiers, a bunch of other cool stuff. So go to patreon.com slash whiskeygingerpodcast. It's probably right there below me. And if you're looking for merch, go to andresantinostore.com. We've got hats and shirts and rocks, glasses,

and all the good stuff that you need. If you look down below, if you're on YouTube, you see the merch bar. There's all sorts of the clothes that you can click on down there and get yourself a shirt for yourself or stuff that you need. If you look down below, if you're on YouTube, you see the merch bar. There's all sorts of the clothes that you can click on down there and get yourself a shirt for yourself or someone that you love. My guest this week is Trixie Mattel. So funny, so cool.

Absolutely loved having her on the show. She was incredible. And just a little heads up, we talk about Larry King. And sadly, Larry King passed away after we had recorded this podcast. So it was a bummer. We miss him. We love him. Larry was the best, and we showed him some love on the episode. All right, enough rambling from me. Let's go to the episode.

In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy ginger. Like vampires, the back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today it's trixie matisse all right look at this cheers cheers um cheers trixie of course is not drinking the traditional whiskey ginger you're having a i'm having some gin yeah you're having a gin i'm just thrilled about it i haven't been drinking really and i've been like waiting for this moment why are you

taking off are you taking off for a reason or no health health and weight loss yeah weight loss that one i care about the health i call myself the skinny legend i gotta live up to it you know what i mean you are the skinny legend huh is that your is that that is so good is it worth it people hate gin why we wrote about this in the book in tricksy and kachi's guide to modern womanhood new york times bestseller it was uh a chapter and i got to read a lot about gin and people hate it because they say it tastes like toothpaste or whatever huh but it's made to taste like juniper and flowers it tastes like flowers you drink it and think of flowers you taste flowers yeah no i taste when i tasted it tastes like um yeah the outside it tastes like the outdoors yeah

what does this taste like to you you don't like whiskey. I used to like whiskey. I used to like whiskey. Whiskey, I'm just going to say it, my system. No good. It's a lot of bathroom breaks the next day. It's a lot of surprise. Hey, you're going to shit. Yeah, exactly. That's what this is called.

And the brown liquor is more complex, harder to break down, sometimes deeper hangovers. And sometimes the dark liquors, I find that I can't really tell how drunk I am. Oh, see, I know. See, those sneak up on me way more. I think light liquors to me, whenever I do Blanco tequila or vodka, forget about it. I have six of them. And then I just realized. Well, you should also know I had six of them. Yeah, I know.

That should be like. I know, but I like it. I don't should also know I had six of them. Yeah, I know. That should be like. I know, but I like it. I don't blame you. This is fabulous. Yeah. It's ice cold, you guys. When I tell you, I don't know if they know that you really have this little bar over here. I have a nice little bar set up.

You do it all. Yeah. Well, you know, I try to appease my guests. And when you said you were coming by, I was so excited. Because look, I'm a fan. You look great, by the way. You know. You're looking really nice.

Thank you. And you smell good for me. They can't smell you,. You're looking really nice. Thank you. And you smell good for me. They can't smell you, but you smell good for me. Thank you. I wear so much perfume all the time. I really can't smell any of it. What kind is that? This is Turquotic from MAC. It's pretty cheap. Oh, it is? Yeah, it's unisex. That smells like an expensive perfume. No, it's unisex. It's like 25 bucks. Get into that. Let me see. But wait, let me... They say unisex. I would say that the people who are unisex wearing that i don't know this could be unisex yeah it could be gay unisex pretty gay yeah it's not no you know what

it is it's like um it's just super floral it's extremely floral i don't know how to pick cologne how do i pick cologne when guys when guys wear too much cologne it's annoying i like it you do yes like i don't want to like overtly just because that thing yeah in the hair the hair is a lot but i've seen it i've seen it i've seen the hair i will say i've dated some guys who are um let's just say that i think that latino guys are usually more aware of being clean than any other type of guy yeah well i mean in the good way they always smell like laundry smell good. Yeah, they do. Laundry, cologne, shower, mouthwash, the full thing. Yeah. And like,

when you smell someone coming before you see them, I don't necessarily have a problem with that. But then again, I work with drag Queens, you know, some of the drag Queens lip sync and they take the money like I used to back in the day and they'll spray the hands. So when you take the money from the people, you get the Muppets 4d oh that's experience okay let me i have so many things i want to talk to you about but let me start here because you reminded me one of my favorite bars of all time my buddy drew took me i don't know seven years ago maybe uh because we shot a tremendously terrible pilot together um called how i met your father the spinoff for how i met your mother oh yeah you want to talk about bad ideas, that was one of them.

Not a great idea. So Drew was my husband on the show, and it never took off. Also, CBS didn't want us to kiss. You played a gay. I played a gay. Well, I'm not surprised that- And this is pre-PC police.

I couldn't do it today. They would say they should have given that to a gay guy, and I understand. Drew is gay, so maybe one half, Is that okay or no? I am kind of controversial in that I always feel like the storytelling matters. If it's the right person to portray that gay person

in a way that is right for the character, that matters. See? Thank you. I personally don't mind if... If a straight plays a gay. I don't, but I know that not everyone feels that way. I know, but... Because gay people play straight people, and that doesn't bother me either.

All the time. I have a bunch of friends that play straights all the time. Can you tell the story in a way that makes the audience feel for it? That's what matters to me. But look, if you can find a gay that looks as vibrantly bright orange as I, then do it.

There's a few. There's a few, but are they as good as me? Well, we know they're not breeding. That's a dying hair color. I know. I know. I know when it should be, really. I don't think so. Really?

You like it? Yeah. Who doesn't? Who's watching this right now? Yeah. They're like, here's that ginger fuck again. Every week he refuses to color his hair. YouTube is filled with people.

YouTube specifically is filled with... My audio listeners know, but YouTube is filled with people that just want to hate they i think people hate watch more than anything else some some not all of them but so many fans i think people like to just criticize like you're gonna get i mean are you that outfit is good it's gonna get criticized oh it's gonna get criticized it's also gonna be i mean anytime i come in front of people who aren't like you you know, I'm going to get like, what kind of kill it with fire is another good one. Like this is what the, this is the future liberals want. Like anything like that. Will you, hi to you people mid typing.

They just looked up from their keyboard. Like, oh, it doesn't bother me. I didn't start doing drag cause I wanted everyone to like me. Yeah. Well, I love drag. I like, I think I have like a little baby obsession. I'm not like crazy about it, but let me get back. Let me finish this because I get my stupid brain.

So there's a bar called Plaza that's on La Brea. Do you know Plaza? Of course I've been to Plaza. Okay. So I love Plaza. I can't believe I have all the bars for you to say I loved. Plaza's my favorite. No offense, Plaza.

I can't believe you just said Plaza. Oh, I love it so much. Plaza, shout out. You're the best. You know why? We're going to Plaza. Because it's grimy. It's dirty. It's unsafe. Oh, yeah. It's not in the gayborhood. No, I love it so much. Plaza, shout out. You're the best. You know why? We're going to Plaza. Because it's grimy. It's dirty.

It's unsafe. Oh, yeah. It's not in the gayborhood. No, I love that. If you walked in, you wouldn't really know it's a gay bar. No, in fact- It looks like a multifunction room at a hotel or something. It looks like a conference room.

Yeah. Yeah. And a conference room from like America's best, one of those best Western offshoots, like the long stays. It's sad. It's got linoleum floors. It's got popcorn ceilings. Popcorn ceilings.

Staff that even when you're the only customer, they're annoyed you're there. They're pissed. They're so mad. And I've never, and I love the drag queens there. They're always very nice to me when I go because, you know,

they recognize me and they're like, thank you for coming. Yeah. And I'm watching, I'm clapping, I'm tipping. Me and my friends go and we go because we know

we're going to be like maybe the only 10 people there. Yeah. There's usually nobody. Really fun place to go with the group and not be elbow to elbow. Yeah. If you want to watch a drag show where there's drag queens who maybe don't look like the celebrity, maybe aren't that body type or age group or even close.

Nope. Nope. If you want to go see like a like a lady gaga impersonator who's literally still doing like poker face yeah that's that's where to go that's why i love it because it's like retro it's like retro and they're not trying to be anything else like they know that it's way behind the times but i think they're just okay with it also i love that you can haggle for booze there that's my favorite thing is when you go to the bar do you not know this do you know i'm the full plan pay full price don't ever do that i was taught by someone that goes all the time he was like he's like the i said can i just get a uh

i was ordering for the table so and so so and so and then whatever and then he says how much it was and the guy was like no no he goes this is four that's three that's six and he was like okay okay fine and i was like wait really he's like yeah okay, okay, fine. And I was like, wait, really? He's like, yeah, you can kind of just haggle and decide what you want it to be. I was like, no way. Okay, let me just say it. So I haggle when I go.

There's no haggling. It's a $17 drink. Do you want it or not? Yeah, but they're well, well. When you ask for like a vodka soda, it's not vodka. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's hand sanitizer. That's exactly right.

Yeah, it's runoff. Have you ever taken a match, like a beer match? Wait, a bar match shot? Do you know what i mean yeah it's hand sanitizer that's exactly right yeah it's run off it's have you ever taken a match like a beer match uh wait a bar mat shot do you know what is okay this maybe is a little midwest showing so i thought you might know uh you know the bartenders make the drinks on the bar mats right the oh oh and the drip yeah the drip from the mats you pay like a dollar and they'll pour what's left into a drink and that's your drink so i've heard i've heard it called a trough that's what I've called the trough drinks. Like, yeah, whatever they scoop out of that nasty drip mats. I've never taken that.

I've seen it done many a times by people who are braver than I. I would never. You've done it? Buck up and admit it. I think I've done it. If it's there in a bar, I've done it. Yeah. You know, in the Midwest, alcoholism isn't enough.

We need to put a hat on a hat. So there's the ski shots. I love shot skis. Shot sk yeah um you know anything so we do this thing in chicago called do you have you ever gotten somebody by you a shot of malort do you know what that is uh no oh god so malort is kind of an inside joke in chicago it's kind of a fierce drag name yeah malort can i be malort can i yes this is malort i want you to make me uh make up my drag character later and we'll have to try you gotta do something related i could be i could be malort? Yes, this is Malort. I want you to make up my drag character later, and we'll have to try it one time. We've got to do something red-related or ginger-related. I could be Malort.

Oh, we have to be a ginger. It's got to be like a— But you know about Ginger Minj? Yes. Yeah, there's a drag queen, Ginger Minj. Ginger Minj, yeah. But I can't compete. You know what I mean?

I don't want to start some beef. You could take her. She's like 5'2". I know, but maybe scrappy. I think she has low blood sugar. You never— Just push her over. You're like, she has type 2 diabetes.

Yeah. She's on borrowed time. Maybe you can be the new Ginger Minj. Oh, God. Would that be great? Yeah. But let me say this. I'm sorry.

Malort is this drink that people buy for other people in Chicago as like a, you know, welcome to Chicago type of thing. Okay. So like out-of-ters get it bought all the time. Cause they're like, you got to have Malorda Chicago tradition. I mean, try it one time, but it's battery acid. Fucked a pine needle. It's the most, it's the most repulsive, but, but it's like a mean fun shot to give somebody

like it's, it's, it's, it's like a, it's like showing love, but it's dog shit. It's gross. I've done some gross things with alcohol. I mean, when you go to Newfoundland. Have you ever toured Newfoundland? Never. Okay. When you go to Newfoundland in Canada, they do something called screeching.

You get screeched, which is when they bring you to a bar. The bar sings a song. They put a yellow rain hat on you. They bring out a fucking dead fish, a a raw fish and they make you take a shot of this rotted liquid and kiss the fish on the mouth that's hot though that's fun and i also like uh fireball like kind of came out when i was doing like local club shows and fireball was one of the first uh brands to like start reaching out to local drag shows and go like can we pay you to talk about our booze in the show right and you know, my shows, we went from having no pay

because the bar wouldn't give us money to the brands being like, can we give you money to talk about the booze? We're like, yes, please. You can pay us in booze, right? So then it would be like us because Fireball was our sponsor. If you had Fireball.

Yeah. Oh my God. And it was like, you know, Fireball's a little, that'll clean you out, you know? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's the drink we got for free. So it'd be drag queens having like Fireball on the rocks being like are we rich this is free fireball on the rocks fireball is uh it's the coffee of whiskeys it's like it's like cinnamon syrup yeah yeah it's not and then your insides will flush it out almost immediately the the class version of that i mean

jack fire i think is a little better i've never i've never had it oh i've had i've had the what's the red stag or that's the jim beam has one that's like similar to that everyone copied fireball i don't even know how fireball became so part of the culture the song yeah fireball i must because honestly it became like a in every every person thing and i was like why is no one really likes this, right? You just drink it because it's a thing that... No one hates it. That's true. I guess that's it.

Versus like, if you have a group of people, like I drink shots of gin, which I know people find a lot. Really? That's a good... That's a fun shot. Well, it's because I drink gin. So I'm not trying to like, sure, let's do shots. I'll have whiskey. That's too much. And how old are you? 37. I'm 31. And I already feel like the two drink the five drink hangover is a two drink hangover now is a you know it gets and it continues to get advancing

on you at all times so wait a minute when did you when you said you wanted to stop drinking how long has this been since you had a drink oh i mean not that serious 48 hours no no like a week and a half maybe but i mean for a drag queen that might as well be a lifetime that is a lifetime we live on it i can't i haven't taken i've taken a couple of breaks in my life but the longest i've ever gone is maybe three months it was like two and a half months what's the longest you've done uh two months maybe yeah max yeah it's hard right it's hard and i don't know i don't want to blame my upbringing, but I'm from Milwaukee, which is like you wake up and it's like Michael Jackson, Propathol.

They put you to bed with an IV of lager. So I don't know. Did you drink beer when you were living in the Midwest? No. Too many calories. Yeah, it's gross. No. Do you have usual wines as a sponsor here?

No. Who's that? Oh, they have a wine that was on our podcast bald and the beautiful um it's usual wines 86 uh 86 calories a glass of wine i'm like that's my speed wait because i guess i always try to stay thin 86 calories in a glass yeah there's no way that's possible it's possible it's less than white claw but i'm on your show doing ads for you i know this is very freelance but i mean 86 calories i, that's why I like White Claw. And that's why, honestly, like Willem. Do you know Willem the Drag Queen? No.

She taught me like mixer. She's like, she's very blunt. She's like, I know you just got on TV. Mixer makes you fat. Stop doing mixed drinks and only do shots. So then for a while, I was only doing shots. Because I told myself, well, at least I can count how many drinks I've had. Versus, let me tell you guys, a gay bar pour is different

than a straight bar pour. What do you mean? Gay bars are like automatic doubles. Sure. Or more. Yeah. They'll do the double and they'll do a little runoff. Not to mention, I'm from Milwaukee, which is like, that's the land of $3 Long Island

buy one, get one free. Right. They don't want you to be a return customer. They want you to go home dead. Yeah, yeah. In a coffin. That's also the state that, aren't you allowed to drink under 21

if you're with a parent? If you're with a parent. That's so great. So if like your dad's at the bar and you're 18, you're graduating from high school, it's like, this is my son,

give him a drink. That was the one thing about, Wisconsin had so many things. I was like, well, they just beat us on being like cool. It was just, there was things about Wisconsin like that.

Like we used to go to the Dells when I was a kid. I loved the Dells. I was obsessed with it. We would go up there and go to all the lakes. I just think they got it when they were like, people are going to party. Might as well let them party with their family. If you could go to a local bar with your dad

and have a drink with your mom or your dad, what's the harm? They're going to get you home anyway. I was always like, why can't we do that? But it's also because Wisconsin, you know, they live on live on their own law yeah baby in the bathwater a little bit because it's like i mean the i remember there was an article a few years ago it was like the 20 drunkest cities in the united states 14 of them were in wisconsin and like 10 of those were rural yeah even big cities well there was that woman schwab in wisconsin number two or something like

that we like what there was that woman there was that woman in wisconsin years ago there is no dui limit there right like you don't have a three strikes law like california three strikes and you're it's over forever no way yeah i know bartenders with duis yeah i know bartender because i think this i think the law what they they now enacted something that's wisconsin has like a limit to how many times you can get a DWI or whatever they call it. But there was a woman at one time that had like 14 or 15 driving under the influences or driving while intoxicated and never served a day in jail or prison. She just kept getting out. She's trying to get to work.

She's got stuff to do. She's just got to get home. You're not going to feed the kids, have groceries. The milk is going to get warm. I will say now in the age of Uber, like by the time I was drinking age, Uber existed. There's never been a reason for me to get behind the wheel. Okay, right. So I'm a little bit older.

And when I was in college, I never- Do you think back and have any like, ooh, that was a scary night. I should not have driven. Honestly? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Let's talk about it. I have a lot. In fact, I'll tell one. He's driving me home today. I am. I am. No, I am. I had on a moped.

I had. Could you imagine me on a moped in this wig? Me and you together on a moped cruising back down over the hill would be hilarious to me. Incredible. Incredible. Just a little horn. Be me. Be me.

I've had a few moments. Only like one or two genuine moments where I was like, that shouldn't have been. And I don't know if I've told that story on the podcast before, but I was down in Orange County doing shows and Dana Point. But if you kill someone, it's just someone from Orange County. That's what I was thinking, right? It's not a good person.

Because I'll sober up by the time I hit LA County. So I get in this, people after the show, I get into talking to all these people and this girl is hitting on me. It was like too much. And then this guy who's sitting right next to us the whole time is like oh you know my girl's all over you and i was like oh dude i'm not you know she's too a little too drunk he's like oh you know you can have her i don't care i'm like no i'm good i'm good he's like what you should do you

should come party with us and i was like no i don't know man and then i kept having a few of these and i should you know shouldn't have because i know, man. And then I kept having a few of these and I shouldn't have because I was going to drive home that night. It was a bunch of military kids down there. So they go, we're going to this party. It's like right over there. It's like, oh, all right. I go to this thing with them.

It's like a get together. A fight breaks out and I'm like, oh, fuck this. I'm out of here. Like, I'm not dealing with this bullshit. I don't know these guys. I get in, at the time, my girlfriend's car, not my car.

I get in my girlfriend's car. Oh my God. I start to fucking drive out of this. The cops have already been called. I get pulled over at the time, my girlfriend's car. Not my car. I get in my girlfriend's car. Oh, my God. I start to fucking drive out of this. The cops have already been called. I get pulled over by a cop. A guy and a girl cop get out of the car. The guy's giving me a ton of shit. The woman, for some reason, the female cop,

is being so nice to me. I don't even know why, but she was just being nice to me. I was telling her the truth. I was like, a fight broke out. She watches Dave. She preemptively imagined you'd be on a show, Dave. This was so long ago. And she was just like, I was like, hey, man, I'm a local comedian.

I paid 17 bucks to come down here. I'm just trying to get home. And she was like, just sit. We'll figure all this shit out. And he's like, he keeps going, make him blow to this other cop. He's like, make him fucking blow. And I'm rolling my eyes. If I blow, I'm done.

That's it. Federal prison. I'm gone. Yeah, I'm gone. And he goes up blow i'm done i'm that's it federal prison i'm gone yeah i'm gone and he goes up to talk to all these people that are in this fight and she's kind of talking to me and she's like um you know were you seriously involved in any of this shit like are you just trying to get away from this stuff because you know i'll find out oh so they were coming for the fight yes and i was like no i was like no i was like no no no i'd have nothing to do with this shit i was also i'm sure they got called because there was ruckus going like people were throwing a party in like a courtyard of an apartment complex and I was like no I have nothing to do with it I promise

yada yada yada 10-15 minutes goes by and I'm just making wishes to the universe to let me go and she's just like bargaining with God she goes yes yes and I owe him, her, it. And I said, hey, whatever it's going to take to not get me to get busted for a DUI, I'll do. And she goes, okay, how about this? I'm going to tow your car, okay? But you have to stay here tonight. You know what I mean? You have to stay somewhere down here. You'll be sleeping in that parking lot.

Figure it out for yourself. And she goes, so it's either you have to blow and take the test or I'm gonna tow your car right now and you just have to figure out how you're gonna stay here I think that's pretty lucky it was a great fucking deal people do like gingers

yes they do the other guy was like make them blow the fucking ginger yeah well he hated me he just right away he was like you think you're getting away

I was like I just wanna go home I can't believe you told me you were a comedian that is so inflammatory well it was so stupid too everybody's like oh you think you're funny

yeah joke your way out of this one funny guy exactly she was just so nice I just was honest I was like dude I just did a bar show for $17 well it was so stupid too oh you think you're funny yeah joke your way out of this one funny guy exactly she was just so nice I just was honest I was like dude I just did a bar show for $17

and a chicken sandwich I just want to go home like I have nothing I shouldn't be here anyway I should have been home already I'm with a bunch of drunk army kids for some reason

she found it in her heart so shout out to that Orange County cop I don't know where she is she got fired for that they fired her immediately federal prison yeah she's dead now but I knew when I started driving anyway before I left the compartment complex Orange County cop. I don't know where she is. She got fired for that. They fired her immediately. Federal prison.

Yeah. She's dead now. But I knew when I started driving anyway, before I left the apartment complex, I knew I shouldn't have been. Little did she know you had two cars. I did. You got in your Miata and you tore down the street. Bye.

I was in my Geo Metro and I took off immediately. When you do like, do you go to Canada? I do. When you go there and you know, they're very invasive about immigration. Do you tell them you do comedy? And what do they say? No, I don't. I'm here for a job is what I say at the border.

And they say, what job? And I say, I'm working in the entertainment industry. And then they usually give it up at that point. I never say I'm a stand-up. Because I used to say I do comedy. Because for me, that's the lesser of two evils. Right. Yes, I'm going to like just for laughs.

I'll say like, I do comedy. And then they'll be like, oh. Or they'll be like, well, have you ever had to open the bag because they've opened my bags and then they find cash and disguises which looks pretty suspicious yeah they're like uh did you rob a bank mid-flight exactly did you rob a bank dressed as margot robbie like so then i go sometimes i go to and i'm like oh um i've learned to now the people at uh the immigration are so over it i almost said intervention it is people at the intervention they're like what do you do and i go i'm a drag queen and

they look at me they're like you what and i go i just get real graphic i'm like i put on women's panties and wigs and makeup like a sissy. And I get that stamp in two seconds. Yeah. Because they're just like, oh, what if I use the wrong pronoun? Oh, get out of here. Like, scat. You know what I mean? They're so scared.

Skit scat. Skit scat thing. Get out of here. Exactly. When you say I'm a drag queen to anyone that asks you what you do, what your thing is, what's the typical reaction? Well, it depends. Because if it's a woman or a gay guy,

they're like, Wonderful. Or they know me. Right. And they're like, But if they don't know you, and it's a non-woman and a straight. Yeah, I'll get an eye roll sometimes,

which I'm like, just let me in the country. I'm just here to cross-dress. It's not that deep. You know what I mean? Yeah. If I was trying to like fly under the, I wouldn't be the person

they would send to fly under the radar right me sneaking through an airport with like big glasses on but very funny oh bonjour bonjour you know like a different person that might be a great way to i mean that's how you would get away with it right you don't you don't want to you don't want the typical terrorist to go through you would be a good terrorist yeah i mean i do look good in orange yeah and stripes so let's do it um tell me this you have to inform me and and uh and and you know fill me in more about like how did you how did you get into drag like how did you like what was your like the moment where you're like it's such a commitment thing for me as a straight white okay i know where i sit all right i understand who i am i know i'm sure you're under you're under a microscope right now i know and i'm stupid and as a straight white, okay, I know where I sit, right? I understand who I am.

I know I'm stupid. You're under a microscope right now. I know, and I'm stupid. No, my fans know how dumb I am. They're not here for intellectual conversation. No, no, no. This is Arizona State. But, like, I'm so curious. I've always been curious about it because I've been fascinated.

Like I say, like, I don't discriminate. I don't really give a shit. Most comedians don't. No, we don't care. They don't care. But I also, like a shit. Most comedians don't. No, we don't care. They don't care. But I also, I became kind of infatuated with drag because I was like, I just enjoyed partying with drag queens a lot

because it was like the ripping. You know what it is? It's like the same culture as comedy is like the ripping of each other, talking shit and making fun of each other. It's that same lightheartedness that's like, nobody really takes themselves that serious. So it's kind of it's kind of like some people some people do just like in fucking stand-ups some of them take themselves too serious oh some some drag queens believe they

are j-lo yeah i'm sure and that's awesome hey and you know what good for them and her name is rupaul no i'm just kidding no like some drag queens take it very seriously like there's a lot of levels there's the drag queens who are career drag queens who aren't even that good, but maybe just like hit the pavement. Sure. There's amazing drag queens who are incredible, but honestly, they have a day job. They just want to do like one show a month for fun. Right.

And then there's kind of everybody in between. And it's a lot like comedy. I mean, what's funny is I started drag because, I mean, we kind of have a little bit of a crossover because I started drag with the Rocky Horror Picture Show. So I got started wearing wigs and stuff with the Midnight Movie crowd. Oh, that's awesome. Which we started showing The Room. Oh, that's so funny.

Yeah, because I don't know if you know this, but like all the theaters that show like Rocky Horror or like any of those weird Midnight Movies, they started showing The Room. I did know about that. Well, especially the one that was on, was the one just on the other side of the freeway on uh on not on westwood you know what's that famous one that always showed rocky horror i went there even a few times yeah why can't i think of the name there's there's one on the west side that's right on the other side of the freeway on santa monica and my brain is like not working but they showed it for years and years and years no no no it's like a little mom and pop it's a mom and pop you. You're like, is it a landmark theater? Is it a landmark theater? Is it the mall?

It was just like a little mom and pop, but they showed it for years and they also would show the room on like Tuesdays or something like that. Right. But right, I know there is that. It's like a crossover. Yes. And I remember, so I was doing Rocky, I was 18, I was in college for music and I was playing guitar in college for music. And then I was doing drag sort of as like my side little fun, little, you know, as a repressed gay person from the country. I was like, this is great. An environment where it's midnight and people are throwing popcorn and drunk and I just get to like wear wigs and be disgusting. I mean, this is perfect.

Perfect. I get to dress as whatever I want. I mean, at that point, it wasn't even like drag. It was just like, let's get the high heels and the Frankenstein mask and throw the glitter on me. Let's go. You know? And it was an environment where like anything goes and then by the time i was 21 i was you know finishing college i was my day job was working as a makeup artist at the mall doing makeup on people all day so then i was uh i went to a gay club on my 21st birthday by myself like a freak in drag i don't know who would do that a a sociopath. But I walked into the bar like, I've arrived.

I'm here. You can book me now. I'm 21. Here's my card. Just hand in your card. Some gay, his name's Matt. I still know him, walked up to me. He's like, what's your name?

Are you new? Let me introduce you to the drag queens. And they were like, you know, and drag queens with jobs, I would say for every hundred drag queens, there's one gig. So a drag queen has been doing drag a while, walking up to you when you're 21 and drag. You like the i think it's a lot like comedy yeah where they're like let's see what you can do right before i even remember your name right right right you know what i mean prove yourself exactly so then she's like i'll give you a shot and i came

you know the following week or whatever and did a did a show and i was like i did it this was a man i remember i went and like laid in bed at like 2 a.m. And like stared at the ceiling for hours. And I was like, this is going to be a thing for me. Because like this is for me. I don't know what it was about it. I mean, I do know now. But at the time it was like there's something powerful in cross-dressing because it's gross and beautiful and powerful. Why do you say gross?

Because it's the most offensive thing I think there is. If you think of it as a society that commodifies being masculine, the more muscular or whatever you are, the deeper voice, the more dominant, that's the better man you are. Sure. And if you're sensitive or short or whatever, you're not. So when you're doing something like this and you're forfeiting all your privilege to then walk out there and like read the audience to filth and make people laugh, you're,

it's weird that you, you give up all this power in drag, but you gain so much. Yeah. Yeah. And there was something there in that equation was like one plus one was three. And it was like,

there's something here. And then like years, I mean, I just did dragging clubs, lip syncing all over the midwest probably for years and then i did drag race and that was kind of like you know six well drag race was like the that that that's like the rock that's like american idol for drag it is it's a it's a huge opportunity that's incredible and i had just gotten fired at my job at the mall and i was like

well congrats how fun how fun i've been fired a lot yeah have you oh yeah i've been fired four times well why did you get fired from the mall, though? Did you do something? No, I got fired from the mall because they thought I was stealing, which I wasn't. Were you stealing? No, and at this point, I would say if I was. Sure. I was not stealing. And why did they think you were stealing? They thought I was stealing. I guess they had security footage of me.

Somebody was checking out, and I was putting hundreds of dollars in makeup products in a bag, and then I guess in conversation, I didn't swipe the card, and they were like, who is that? Is that your friend? And I'm like, no, but it was a Macy's and at a Macy's they will fire you like that. I mean, they got applicants, right? So then I did drag race, which was cause I had all this free time. And I was like, well, if you have all this free time, you know, I just finished my musical theater degree. And it was like, they tell you to just like audition for a job. So I was just like, I guess I'll just audition. I have the time.

And then I, um, I mean, I got it and that really opened a lot of doors. That's probably what most, I mean, for drag queens, that's the kind of art in the entertainment industry. That's kind of our foot in the door. Is that a hundred percent? Did you, do you still play music by the way? Yeah. I play all the time. Like when I tour, I tour with the band and everything you do. Yeah. So this year Barbara came out, um, or in 2020, I mean, yeah, I'm very lucky. All my albums I've charted. That's so cool. Yeah, Barbara was on the vinyl charts this year, and I think the rock charts. And then if this comes out next week?

Yeah. Oh, Blister in the Sun. I have a cover of Blister in the Sun coming out next week. Love Blister in the Sun. Such a good song. Such a good song. Fun fact, that band, the Violent Femmes, they're from Milwaukee, and they got discovered playing guitar outside of the Oriental Theater, which was the landmark theater that I did drag at. Wow.

So it's a small world. And also, we can't say Oriental Theater anymore. The Asian American Theater? Yeah, we have to. Yeah, it's called the Oriental Theater. Maybe they should change that name. They still are. I've played in Oriental Theater, because in every city, there's like the same-

Maybe I could say it. Maybe you can't. That's exactly right. You're like, I'm happy to be here at the Oriental Theater because in every city there's like the same maybe I could say it maybe you can't you're like I'm happy to be here at the theater have you gotten cancelled? we're about to you guys didn't see before I came on you called me a faggot and I cried

and I said you get back in that seat that's what I said I have to give you my demands first my band is all heterosexual you know what you should do tonight you should call me a faggot on stage just see how it lands and they're like we're not doing that yeah just do it but i mean i mean i can't even i've been in interviews where i say faggot and it gets bleeped and i'm like of all people yeah i have three wigs on yeah i have the word i think this should be i think there should be an allowed. I think it should be allowed.

Okay. This, this may mean nothing to you, but I'm interested to know your perspective of this. There's, there's a professional golfer that just got in trouble. This kid, Justin Thomas,

because he said that when he missed a putt. He said faggot? Yes. Why? He missed a little putt. As if we have anything to do with your poor golf. I know. He misses a putt.

You're the one with the weak wrists. He misses the putt and he, they have not, not Mike on his, obviously not on his person, but like they have, they're the one with the weak wrists. He misses the putt. And they have not Mike on his, obviously not on his person, but like they have mics all over the golf course. Anyway, this made news all over ESPN. Are you serious? Yeah, they just got him.

And Polo, Ralph Lauren was the first one to denounce him and took away his sponsor. It's his biggest sponsorship. And they took it away. But I think it's so wild to think that like, he didn't even- What a word to choose in the moment yeah it was weird he must say it a lot he says it all the time like if that's if that

gets slips out you say it yeah you say it yeah you say it yeah he says it but it was interesting to like because of all the things they catch people saying like athletes they say you know you they cost all the all the fucking time like every time they have mics on people i'm always like why do you mic this guy there was a clip that i put up uh they were micing baseball players in the summer and they say the filthiest shit when they're out there together yeah i was like you're all you're doing is setting these guys up to say something they shouldn't be saying but they mic this they mic the you know whatever around the golf court around the green and he said it after he missed a putt and within seconds he got dropped by like all of

his sponsors i was like wow the speediness of it today is is wild oh even for when people say it so like when people say it are you how does it make you like when when that when you know like that happens how do you feel like what does that make you feel well i wouldn't say i'm a good like barometer yes because of doing comedy yeah you know like when people hated kevin hart for that homophobic joke oh right right to me i love kevin hart one joke doesn't spoil a special to me like i can take a lot sure you know when sir silverman has said like faggot i think is almost do i think she hates gay people no so context she might she might uh context and intention is kind of everything

yeah that's i've said that a thousand times it means so much that's i never i mean i don't really ever well you called me the n-word when you got out of the car because the first thing you said when you got out of the car nice i was like nice to meet you yes you said nice to meet you nice to meet you as you guys you know i've done things like roasts where like i don't know have you ever done a roast i've never done it well i've done a not an like not anything not fryer's club or anything formal i've done you've done like a spit roast yes like yeah yeah yeah i've done like roasts where things maybe get taken out of context but ultimately it's like i don't know like if i was watching a god for if i'm watching a golf tournament by the way i've got other issues

like you've got other issues. Yeah, it's not your thing. If I hear him hit it and go, faggot. I mean. It did make me laugh. It made me laugh. I think I would laugh. I was like, what did he say?

Yeah. But also, it's like, gay people kind of have bigger fish to fry. Like, up until a few days ago, we literally were, you know, under legislation that would probably eventually barely recognize us as people. Which is crazy you say that, because I know you texted me before this. You said, I don't want to talk about it, but I voted for Trump. And that's what you said. And I said, okay, well, you feel how you feel. Yeah. I said, that's who I voted for, and I don't want to discuss it. And I'm sorry to bring it up on camera,

but it is what it is. Well, we're very, you know, Trump and I have a lot in common, you know, big fake blonde hair. Yes. A lot of bronzer. Yes. Very polarizing. Very polarizing. We have huge houses. Well, used to. We were just talking. I wonder what he's going to do.

He's going to have the best time of his life. He's going to parlay this into a media empire. What do you mean? This is like when people, like the idea that like, I think the celebration of Biden getting in is going to be eclipsed. You think this guy's going to go away? That's when everybody says, I'm like, are you nuts? I think he's going to use this.

I think if he loses socials, he'll really go away. Maybe. If he loses socials, I mean, no networks will ever use him again. Fox. Fox will. You think? Yes. What do you mean they love? They love that. How could they not? That's the cash cow for that. I swear to God, if I'm on the Fox lot and I'm in a golf cart and I see him, I'm swerving. I'm going to prison for America as the drag queen who ran him over.

I just want to know late at night when he's up at like 4.30. You know he's up at like 3, 4, 5 in the morning and he's tweeting. I just want to know what's really spinning in his head. I wish I could see inside of that head because it's like, whenever have we had any sort of powerful political person ever be that involved with the internet? Never, right? Like Obama maybe was-

Obama would post like a dog picture. Yeah, but I loved, and I loved his dog, which was named- Ulysses? I have no idea. It was Robert E. Lee after the great General Robert. No, I'm kidding. I don't really believe you.

No, it was Beau. His dog's name was Beau. You know, Trump was the first president in, he was over a century that didn't have a dog in the White House. I love that. Do you have a dog? No. See, I love dogs.

I got stuff going on. I love dogs. You're too busy for dogs stuff going on you are huh i got the makeup company i got the pod i got the youtube i got the you know i got stuff going on i can barely get this together for this at this no no you did a great job you did no no you did you did a wonderful job and you did get together in a crunch amount of time because i said do you want a car now and you said yes send my car you said send my car slut that's what you said to me i sure did and i said you got it baby and slut. That's what you said to me. I sure did. And I said, you got it, baby.

Well, you know what I said? Because I just did Good For You with Whitney. Yeah. Boo! Don't watch that. Boo her. I love her. And she was, you texted me, do you want to do the pod?

And I think I said, coming, send me an SUV. What do you got? Yeah. And I thought you might counter with like a helicopter. I tried. Uber helicopter isn't working right now. Yeah. You know?

But I really did want to send you something. I was going to pick you up in an Amazon drone, but they're just not available at this time of night for some reason. Could you imagine? By the way, you're going to get them now. That's going to be the new thing. Have you seen those things driving around, like the little deliveries? It's the little four wheels driving around?

Yes. That's the creepiest shit on earth. I see them. I live in Hollywood. I see them in Hollywood. And there's always, I don't know if we can say homeless, a person between living situations following it, looking at it, seeing what it's going to do. What is it going to do?

What does it do? I've never seen one stop and get open. No, see, I think they're tracking them. I think they're trying to learn. You think it's testing? Yeah, it's testing and routing and stuff like that. Yeah, because I'm like, what are they delivering? Why don't we just steal one?

That can't be a heart transplant. Or get on one. Yeah, just ride one. That's the free Uber. How funny, though. It has like a heart. Someone needs this heart, and it's moving slowly up La Brea. You know what?

Ultimately, I bet it's a front. I bet it's going to be saucy. Yeah, it is. That's how you're going to get wine at 4 a.m. And by the way, thank you, saucy. Have you ever been in a situation where you're like, it's 2 a.m., we don't have any booze, we're going to have to get that saucy? Yes. Because in Wisconsin, you can're like, it's 2 a.m., we don't have any booze, we're gonna have to get that saucy? Yes.

Because in Wisconsin, you can't buy booze at any stores. You can't buy booze after 9. Also, is it Wisconsin you can't do it in the grocery stores? You can only buy from liquor stores. Is that true? No. Wait, wait, wait. I think it's like 7. I thought it was beer from grocery stores and liquor from liquor stores in Wisconsin. Is that the case or no? Am I wrong?

You're wrong, but I think it's usually its own section. But you can't buy it after 9 p.m. Why? That's some old religious nonsense that they threw into the mix? Probably, yes. Because I remember people driving up to UP to buy booze at night and stuff like that. Or like in St. Paul, people drive over to Minneapolis to get the booze and come back. UP is the Upper Peninsula for people that have no um idea of the midwest don't

worry about it it's really not going to affect you it's none of your business i've only been there a few times in my life when you grew up in wisconsin okay tell me this we're gonna throw it really far back when you said hey did you say did you come out when you were living in wisconsin to your family no but i wore this no i'm just kidding uh oh but you come down to dinner one night wearing that would be yeah and chickens ready and i said what my mom said it's really not your color you know um no i was in college and i just called home and was like um so scared because you know i'm just gonna say it the movies never show an accepting parent they show a parent battling with it and then eventually coming around it's always an angry dad and a mom who's embarrassed or something.

Right. Or like, don't tell your father. Exactly. Exactly. So I remember being like, oh. And my mom was like, who cares? It could not have been less interesting to her. And you said it like she said it, by the way.

Who cares? So what? Who cares? So what? God. She's still unimpressed in anything I do. I bought her a house for Christmas. Yeah.

She lives in a – I love christmas yeah she lives in a i love my mom she lives in a trailer and a dead end road in the woods i bought her a house cash huge house in wisconsin in milwaukee so you're moving to the city get into this i bring her there i take her in she goes it looks bigger in pictures do you want to go back to the trailer in the woods oh that's so funny i will sell this shout out to your mom she's the shit i love that it looks because she's honest you said look it looks bigger and look bigger and then like i play turner hall in milwaukee every year when i go and it's so cool because i used to go see shows there and so i'm like my mom comes and she'll just be like i mean people

were laughing like she she's like i don't she doesn't like you like i didn't get it because i'm not in the lifestyle oh my i like, you didn't have to do that. I mean, that's kind of like, you know. She goes, I didn't get it. You know, I'm not. That's whatever. That's your thing. Yeah.

She's funny what she, like, she'll only see me on something. It's not that she's not homophobic. She's just unimpressed. She's like, cross-dressing, great. Your brother's a lawyer. So, you know what I mean? She's like, your brother's a three-time Iraq war vet and a lawyer. Is he really?

Yes. So he's like so smart and impressive. And I'm over here with wigs like, hello. So then she – nothing ever really impressed her. She saw me on American Horror Story because it's a show she already watched. Right. You know what I mean? I have to weasel onto something she's already seen.

Yeah, but that's like – I think that's everyone in entertainment's parents. And they also will go, you know what you should get on? Why don't you get on that other show? And you're like, well, I'm on something. And they're like, no, but I want you on this thing. You're like, well, okay. I'm already on something. Why don't you go on this?

Why don't you call Ryan Murphy? Call Ellen. Can't you get on Ellen? Call Ellen. I heard she's really amenable. Yes, she is. I heard she's really amenable. Yes, she is. I heard she just really responds to suggestions really well. She wants you to send her an email direct.

Yeah, call Ryan Murphy. Why can't you just call, ring up Ryan? Can you? I have done it. You can. I think I could do it the week. Yeah, you could. I actually, Ellen was my probably first comedy album.

Do you remember Taste This? Yes. I mean, Ellen was ellen at her prime in stand-up when she people i think a lot of people might not know that she did stand up it's transcended no she was incredible no swearing one of the best bits i ever i still to this day was um hitting the elevator button more than one time do you remember this when she's like it's so annoying when it's already hit and people keep hitting it and you're like well i already i already did it i already just the way she does her mannerisms yes and her she she was she what she is today what people see her today it's funny knowing what she

was as a stand-up before because amazing it's all of those things were just what she does today now on tv the the way that she spins her jokes and kind of a, it's almost cocky, but it's really hard to explain. It's not rude. It's not condescending. It's almost like, I know you get it.

I get it. You know what I mean? It's almost like she's faster than the joke. That's what I always liked about when she did stand up because she was always like, she was already there, but you were there with her, but she's like,

but I already went through it. She also was really good at like, okay, her look is big blue eyes, a very innocent look with a very soft voice. Yeah. And she played everything like she didn't know what she's saying was what she's saying is a joke. Right. Right. Which was very like, it's kind of drag where you incorporate what you look like. I mean, to me, my favorite comedians are the ones who they know what the instrument is.

Yeah. And they know how that affects the delivery. the ones who they know what the instrument is. Yeah. And they know how that affects the delivery. Right. So they change like the act to match the thing. Like Louis C.K. is like, okay, looked in the mirror one day. It's like, all right, I'm going to play my character. My voice is like a dumpy dad. Yeah.

Or like, you know, the Sarah Silverman being like, well, I'm very beautiful, but I have very innocent doe eyes. What if my material is disgusting? Repulsive, yeah. You know, like there's always a winning combination there when someone goes, if this is what I look like and this is the material, how do we like use the instrument to really like amplify? It's just hyperbole.

Comedians are just hyperbole. Seriously, like the parallels between drag and stand-up, because it is performance in the exact same parallel of it's hyperbolized personalities. That's all it really is. We're just the biggest versions of a little piece of us. And the most reductive. Right. Like if you sucked a dick in college, guess what? You're a slut now on stage. That's the whole thing. Right. And it's only been, it was only one dick, by the way, for the record.

It was only one. It wasn't even big. It was not. It wasn't, Michael. And it was for free. It was, sadly. Do you think every straight has had a gay experience, by the way? No. I've been in this argument with many friends multiple times. I think it's mildly predatory because if you put it the other way and you go, what if you told me, how do you know you don't like girls?

That's offensive. Right. So if you tell some guy, if you've never sucked a dick, because you know. Yeah, you kind of know. I'm grossed out by my own dick. Who wouldn't be? See, I see it and I'm like, yuck. One inch long.

It's like a dog dick. Max. Red. Max. Bright red. And I have the lipstick. It comes out of the thing already. You know, I've got skin and then it pokes out.

The little red lipstick poke. It's gross. And then the piercings. Yes. The way it drags. The Albert. It's worse. Yes.

How many people do you know have a dick piercing? God. You know what's funny? You never know that there's a dick piercing. They never mention it until it's there. Really? And then you go, oh. I feel like you got to be upfront about it.

There's a piece of fishing equipment hanging off your dick. Is that bait? Yeah. Is that your penis? I'm already here. You don't have to like wiggle a worm. You know what I mean? It's only been happened a few times. And it's happened in different places. I've seen the one off the tip, which is, I don't have to like wiggle a worm you know what i mean it's um it's only been happened a few times and it's happened in different places i've seen the one off the tip

which is i don't know if you've seen that through the hole honestly through the hole it it makes me it it emasculates me to a degree i can't explain your hands just oh it hurt it looks like the end of times to go through that the whole eye, I, the pain I can't imagine. I mean, it hurts to pee sometimes. So how is it needle going to feel? How does that, I just can't imagine that. Like that one, it blows my mind. And then I've seen the one where like when the dick is hard, it's like at the base of it, there's like a barbell through the skin.

Yeah. I've seen that. That looks like it hurts less. Yeah. And I've seen that in action and I'm like, oh, didn't know that was going to be there um it didn't affect the experience but doesn't that blow your mind that it works like i feel like i'm just i'm so dumb that i'm like that doesn't break the dick that doesn't like i know i love myself i love my body i love everything that's the last thing i'm trying to alter yeah why that's the last thing i'm trying to hang something on you know what i mean

right it's already hanging on. Right. Not to mention, drag queens, we already abuse that part of our body often. I just did a photo shoot where I was totally naked, covered in body paint. And I had to – I'm going to be honest. In 13 years of drag, I've never tucked. Never? No, because I'm never wearing like crazy – I've tucked. And I'm not even in drag.

You're tucked now. Yes. Yeah. wearing like you know crazy i've talked and i'm not even in drag you're tucked now yes yeah yes i uh and i'd never done it before and it was uh it was an experience i mean it was tape and all you know the shoving everything in the taping and it was only for an hour or two and i know drag queens who do it every day on tour every day every day they shave their whole body they tape everything every day i had to do it one day and i was calling some of these drag queens like how are you doing this it hurts so bad and then sitting and like leg crossing or trying to post the pictures um certain poses have brand new pains because your nuts are in your body and i just never done it honestly i was like well if i've become tricksy without ever doing it it's

not really essential but oh my my God, did it hurt. What's the secret? When you ask other drag queens that do it all the time, are they like, well, you have to do... Is there a secret to it? Well, there's levels. And I'm sure that people on this show haven't really heard about it. So I'll explain it if you want. So basically, let me get into this. Yeah.

So basically what happens is you've got the penis right and then the two balls yeah the balls if you're like two okay fine all right just two yeah okay weird so i gotta get another one i'm gonna have to conversate yeah i'm gonna have to go find something so you have two balls and then the thing and then uh the balls go they're meant to like if you're in extreme cold the balls are able to go up in your body. Yeah. People and athletes get kicked in the balls. Things go up their body. Oh, yeah. So you can actually put both up inside you, which already doesn't feel good.

And then if you have shaved your whole butt and everything, you take tape, carpenter's tape, usually three pieces of tape about that long. And you wrap the penis head in toilet paper. I mean, I can't believe. I don't even do this. I don't even know why I know how to do this. Only because I've seen it. Yeah. You know, when you're 21.

We've all seen it. When you're 21 in drag, you're like, I'm a new drag queen. And then you blink and you see a naked trans performer tucking everything. And you're like, this is like baptism by fire. Whatever feelings you had about nudity is out the window. Because a dressing room is a card table right and so uh the nuts are inside and then the penis is basically snatched back extremely hard so hard how so like how is that not painful the tape goes from like the base of the penis

up the asshole basically so that would hurt so much that's why i don't do it i just don't like i think you just have to have it but there's no like also nobody thinks i'm a woman i look like wait what ronald mcdonald what did you say i know you thought that i was christy swanson or something yes i know yes everyone does people always think i'm l fanning or something but the tape but i think people do talk in my um stupid opinion because it helps them get into character like i really believe that there are a lot of drag queens i know drag queens who can't get on stage unless they douche yeah i know drag queens who can't get on stage unless they're tucked even if that's not showing even if they're wearing a long gown that's what i mean it's a part of this i do think there's something fascinating about being so in character that like you're buying it which is why when someone's over the

top about it and like super committed it's just impressive because you're buying it which is why when someone's over the top about it and like super committed it's just impressive because you're like yeah you've transformed into this into this person that you've completely manifested out of thin air and all of these elements even only you know about there is something super impressive about that to me it's the same way in any performance art of any kind stand up and or drag or or music or whatever live if you're if you're biting into it if you're really eating your own shit like you really buy into it there's no way they're not going to so i just feel like that's the sell the essence of drag yeah you have to buy into the shit you Before you sell it, you have to buy it. Right. You have to personally buy it.

Right. And I'm a psychopath. I know that this is like not healthy, but in a world where everyone hates themselves, I think I am the coolest thing that's ever lived. That's great. I look in the mirror and I go, you are, of course you're a star. Who could ever ignore you? Look at you. I love it. I think everybody should feel like that. Yes. I think it's okay to feel like that. I mean, and then in drag, you're like, I believe it. So when I go out there, they're all about to believe it. I think everybody should feel like that. I think it's okay to feel like that. And then in drag, you're like, I believe it.

So when I go out there, they're all about to believe it. Even when I do the improv or something where I'm like, this is going to be an audience people have no idea who I am. I'm like, but they're about to find the fuck out. So where do you think you get this from? Well, I mean, I look nothing like this in drag. Right. Nothing like this.

No, I know. So then in drag, you're like, I could rob a bank and go wash my face and not even be a suspect. So it's a license to kill. It is. It's your chicken suit. It's your super suit.

It's nothing. Well, so then do you feel sometimes like... It's a safety net too? Oh, yeah. I mean, even if you bomb, you're like, she bom bombed i didn't bomb right that person bombed i don't know who that was that was embarrassing right that's great it's almost like this wonderful wall you get to just yeah i'm about ready to get a second social

security number just just to push the tricksy yeah but um it's nice because especially since people find you base level cool to look at a little gross, and probably something that they'll never forget. You said gross twice. I can't disagree with you more. Yeah, drag is a little gross. It's not. See, I think you're wrong. I don't think it's gross. I think it's like attention-grabbing, mesmerizing. I guess gross is the wrong word. Let me say part of the fun of drag is- Shock.

You're poking the bear at all times sure because you are people's a lot of people's like nightmare i mean half the country would probably have me killed for looking like this period lock it up locker and i would love it i've seen a lot of prison shows i could kind of get into some of that um but you know uh you know what's so fucked up we think that and then you realize that you they do – did you ever see that aggregate they pulled up a couple years ago of like porn searches in the United States and like they did it categorically? When we did Trixie and Katya's show on Viceland, we did that. Yeah. And the top searches are like MILF.

Yes. Teen. Teen. And then anything cross-dresser. Yes. These are the porn search terms, not mine, but like T-girl, she-male, cross-dresser, anything like that? Yes. And that's what's crazy, though.

It's so volatile because people, in their deepest desires, it's always about sex. Of course. In America, people are afraid of sex, nudity, even though that's what everyone does. Right. Everyone does it. Right. that's this what everyone does right everyone does it right and so with drag it's kind of a form of homophobia because people see you as a crossdresser and they think of sex and they go that's like sex and lying like sex disguise you know what i think it is to like and i like that

i think i think most people who might be not like against drag or they're just ignorant to it and they don't understand. Right. And they're, they do that thing where you say where they're like, Oh, what? And they don't get it. Yeah. I think truth be told it's because it touches something inside of them. That's like something little, and it may not be like dominant in their life, but it's like, it either reminds them of somebody that they know, or like a figure in their life or a, uh, there's something that touches them to make you get because if it doesn't then you're unaffected and it doesn't mean anything do you know what i mean nothing right like like my mom i was like i i do drag she's like who cares even interesting

right so she's that's what i mean it doesn't it doesn't hit on any level for her so she's unaffected it's almost doesn't care right it's almost past tense it's like big fucking deal but what i like about drag is the part that i hope never goes away it's like of course i want to be on tv or whatever and i want you know i'm lucky as trixie to i get to be the first drag queen to do a lot of things and it's nice i'm very lucky but i like the idea of when i get asked to be on a show or something i like the idea that someone's like over there like who this is like i don't know how i feel about this this is a lot i'm uncomfortable i like that that's fun to me yes i don't i mean i might as well look like a serial killer to a lot of people and i like that because there's power in that there is well because

you're winning do you feel sometimes like you when you're not in drag do you ever feel like you're like oh it makes it so much easier when I am and I wish I was more often? I will say over the years, being in drag all the time, it's made me – I don't feel like even a – out of drag, I'm the one doing tricksy like emails and business things. Right. But like I don't really prepare in a lot of ways because I know that once I look in the mirror and I look like this, it's happening. Right. It turns on. Right. And when I i've done shows even when i know nobody in the audience is going to know me i'm like i walk out there like i'm about to like capture all of your attention right you're going to talk about this for weeks right even if i bomb you're going to talk about

this for weeks what is the i think doing stand-up out of drag would be a lot harder well i mean it's just two different things right like we said before it's like you're you I mean, it's just two different things, right? Like we said before, it's like you're, it's hyperbole of a thing. It's like the P.B. Herman versus the Paul Rubens. Both great. Both great.

Honestly, both great. When we talk about canceling, we need to uncancel. A guy that jerked off in a porn theater? In an adult movie theater. I mean, think about that. What did you go there for?

Hello? Like the one, what's Studs? I used to live in to live in i lived in west hollywood for 15 years um by the way i've been vetted by the place like across from uh it's across the street from uh laura laura harbour no no no your studs is studs is by uhitsch, that bar. Do you know that bar? No. No.

It's more eastbound on Santa Monica. I lived in West Hollywood for 15 years, so. So whatever homophobic you had got beat out of you pretty quickly because, I mean, those people are the gayest people we've ever seen. They kissed out of me. They kissed right out of me. Kissed right out of me. Actually, living in the gay neighborhood was my, and I joke about it.

Yeah. Yeah. Chicago is as gay as West Hollywood. Gay or even. Yeah, so my uncle, I had an Uncle Ira who was gay, right? An Uncle Ira. I don't know if you know by looking at me, I'm Irish and Italian. He definitely wasn't my uncle.

I thought you were black. Yeah, I am. I'm half, I'm half, I'm half, I'm half. But Uncle Ira, I would learn later. He's my gay Jewish uncle. I was like, is he my... By the time I was 12, I was like... He sounds fabulous. I was like, he's not a real the time I was 12, I was like, he's not.

He sounds fabulous. I was like, he's not a real uncle, is he? And my dad was like, no, what? He's like, you thought a Jewish guy named Ira was your actual uncle? I was like, I just didn't get it. But he was just a part of our family. But a lot of times,

my family's so big, people got called uncle a lot. Oh, I also think it's a Midwestern thing. Yeah, I was like, that's not really my uncle. That's your auntie. Really? Because she's not related to anyone. Right. Well's an auntie yeah she's your aunt but i

learned young i guess i learned young about the culture so much because of my mom you know my mom was this beautiful young in the know and we lived in what's the heart of what was called the viagra triangle in chicago i don't know if you know about that yeah so it's like you know and all my mom's co-workers were gay my boyfriend is it really no no but it's just like i just i got accustomed to culture and i'm not kidding when i moved to la i really wanted to live i was like i want to live in the gay neighborhood because i know it's really clean and nice and safe. It's true. And they have the strongest drinks. It's the best party, by the way. The best party.

If you want to know, if you want to have the best Friday night of your life, you're not going to the fucking happy hour at the Applebee's or the Buffalo Wild Wings. Some people on here are like, yes, I am. Go to Plaza. Right, go to Plaza and get wrecked. Bar here for your drinks.

And listen to Pop, Pop, Pop polka bass pop pop polka they don't even say i'm right that's my favorite is they fuck up the lyrics the whole time yeah that's my favorite they only know the they they've been doing gaga for 15 years and they only know the chorus they never bothered it's very funny honestly no but i i just uh i lived there for so long and i just loved i just what i got tired of is the reason we left is because I got tired of like people pissing on my driveway or like puking in my doorstep. Oh yeah. If you want to see puke and nudity and untreated mental illness and open drug abuse, live in

West Hollywood. It just was, it just, it. I love West Hollywood, but I mean that. I do too, but it wore thin on how, it was like at some point. You know Peter Lee? No. Who's Peter Lee? The comedian Peter Lee. Oh do too, but it wore thin on how, it was like at some point. You know Peter Lee? No. Who's Peter Lee? The comedian Peter Lee?

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Well, Pete, if you're watching this, he apparently doesn't know you. Yeah, Pete Lee. No, I know Pete Lee. I know Pete Lee. I love him. When you said Peter, I was like, I don't know, Peter. Peter's from Wisconsin and he's got that accent intact.

Oh, yeah. No, Pete Lee, I know Pete Lee. But he lives, I don't want to say where he lives. He lives on this gay strip. He lives on the- Him and his wife live literally where only a gay person would live. Right. Like the middle of the middle of the gayest part of LA.

Right. And he's like, yeah, we love it. And I'm just like, why did you pick this up? He's like, during Pride, we just sit up here and watch. I'm like, why did you pick this? He's got a bungalow above Rage is where he lives. Pretty much. Is that even still around

do they close that down well funny you asked because during covid uh i think i think rage is closed um flaming saddles mickeys um all permanent closures permanent so like west hollywood there's been a lot of talks about what's gonna happen to west hollywood gym bar closed uh that's i saw the gym bar closed gym bar is great because it's right next to five guys you can black out and then go get a cheeseburger right across Justin Martindale he took me to like 90%

of these every time we would get lit up at the comedy store and I'd be done with a set she'll drink Miss Justin Martindale you want to get a hangover? Justin drinks professionally we be we would be fucked up at the store and then justin would be like do you want to go down to santa monica with me and i'd be like yeah fuck it just do it and we would go bar hop the only

reason i never like going down is because it's i'm a little um what's the word homophobic no i'm a little no i'm a little i don't like it when things are too busy i get a little claustrophobic yeah and those bars as fun as they are they're sometimes it's fucking chaos and you're like ah this is a little too much i'd rather be at something a little bit more chill like i want to get fucked up and have fun but sometimes those things are like shoulder to shoulder neck to neck dripping in $18 drink. Yeah. I love West Hollywood. It's just too much. It's crazy.

Unless you're Trixie Mattel, it's an $1,800 drink. Did you ever go to FUBAR when it was? Is that still even around? Of course, Big Fat Dicks. But is it around or no? I walked by today and it looked like it's either being severely renovated or- Teardrops. Have you been to Big Fat Dicks?

No, I've never been to- Let me tell you about Big Fat Dicks. It's at FUBAR. It's a night. By the way, I'm trying to convince people- Oh, it's Monday nights. I think it's Thursdays. fat dicks. It's at food bar. It's a night. By the way, I'm trying to convince people. it's Monday nights. I think it's Thursday.

Oh, okay. I've seen the sign. Well, every night I go there as big fat dick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No,

I go there. It's a little, the little red rocket, the little red rockets here. Little acorn dicks. Yeah. Little acorn. Let them in.

I, um, I'll go there for, um, I've been there for big fat dicks, which is a party where, uh, they,

you go there and you get a little drunk and there's a competition where you can go in the back room and a photographer takes a picture of your dick, hard or soft, your choice. They put it on the wall and then the DJ takes breaks every hour and go like, all right, here's our submissions. Here's number one. It shines a flashlight on the pictures.

So at the end of the night, the winner wins a handle of booze. So somebody takes a nude picture of their dick, publicly puts it on there to win a handle of fleishmans or something that's gay people for you they don't need a holiday yeah but but also my i'm so interested who if there's a limp guy that beats a straight guy that's like that's a hot like to beat a straight hard dick as a limp dick is remarkable but some people's dicks photograph really well limp yeah but you know there's difference between limp and like i was hard five minutes ago limp i get that do you know what i

mean i trust me my favorite look of my dick is when it when i like after you've come when it's down in its settling phase as i call it that's where you take the that's my favorite yeah so those settling pictures are they are gonna have a better chance. I did it once. Because hard. You did? I did. You did? I did.

It was when I first moved to LA and I was there with my manager at the time. And I disappeared into the night and I got a picture taken. And I came back and I was like, I did it. Hard or not? I don't even remember. She was like, Trixie, you cannot enter Big Fat. She was like, we're leaving and we left so I don't know if I won maybe I won

I'm gonna tell myself I won the guy in second place was that gets that like replacement prize yeah like we're reserving this for whoever this was whenever they come back I'm gonna be on milk cartons my dick's gonna be like a have you seen this dick a search party that would be the best have you seen this dick if they put your

picture on the milk carton up on the wall, have you seen this dick? Gay people are so flippant with dick pics, though. They'd be like, yeah, we've all seen it. Yeah. It's like gay people. It's like everyone thinks like, oh, you're gay. You know my cousin Daniel from Akron, Ohio. And you're like, no.

But I've seen his dick. But I have seen his dick. I've seen his dick. I have seen his dick. Can I ask a question? Yeah. I was watching 90 Day Fiance, and there was this girl and she was like i hate american guys because they always just want to send a dick pic do girls hate that when guys send

dick pics yeah i guess context matters but here's the problem there is a because i think when gay guys if they get an if they get a dick pic they didn't want they just kind of like breeze by it move on i know not a problem i will say this i've never understood when guys send um an unsolicited i'm i'm like open with it yeah like i'm always blown away by like i and you hear the story a lot where you're like wow i guess i've never sent a dick i've never sent a dick pic uh if it's not part of the conversation you know what i mean like i'm always blown away when someone's like it has to lead up to it yeah how the fuck it's not part of the conversation. Do you know what I mean? Like I'm always blown away when someone's like, it has to lead up to it. Yeah. How the fuck?

It's just a weird, but apparently I have a good amount of friends that will just send a dick pic without any sort of lead up. And I don't get it. I like, cause when I hear people complain about it, I'm always like, if you didn't like it,

how much did it like negatively affect you? I mean, who cares, but it's a dick. Well, but also it's just very strained. I just never understood it because I'm like, anytime I've ever had any sort of

filthy conversation with somebody, it's pretty fucking obvious what's going on. Right. There isn't some weird misnomer of like, whoa, I didn't want to... What are you doing tonight? Anyway, boom. Dick pic. You know what I mean? I met Chili's. Okay, here's my dick.

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month. Betterhelp.com slash whiskey. Ginger. I like gingers. Yeah. No, it's never been this weird. So I never understood. And I also didn't believe it for a long time. Like whenever you hear those stories, I'm like, no.

There was a conversation leading up to it. But then apparently there's dudes that just like to send dick pics as their opener. But also, I'm sure it doesn't work. There's no way. I don't, honestly, I have, dick pics don't matter that much to me.

Does anybody like dick pics really though? My boyfriend I've been with for five years, I didn't see his dick until the real event. My wife's never seen my dick. Ever.

Ever, ever, ever. But she keeps begging. Yeah, please, shut up. That's what I say, shut up, lady. That's what I say. Shut up, lady. That's what I say.

Well, she's been looking for it, but the magnifying glass, she can't get close enough. She searches through all those fiery pubes. Do you not send them? You never send them. Oh, I send them. Does he send them?

Does your boyfriend send them to you? Yeah, I mean, yeah. See, but that's my thing. Like, in straight relationships, the picture sending becomes a blurred, like sometimes you send hot pics, but it slows down. Let's say I'm gone for months. Different.

They're happening. On tour is totally different. But like if I'm having a night at home, I'm not like, what's up, babe? Boom, dick pics. Well, it's hard with COVID because it's like you're in the other room. He also hates when I talk about, he's wonderful. He's amazing. He's a producer.

We get to work together a lot, but he doesn't love when I talk about our sex life in my shows. Let's do it. He doesn't love it. Why? But I'm just like, you knew. You always knew this was like, if you were going to get close to me and you're going to leave any sort of impact, you might end up in that show over there.

Right. I might be milking you for money, you know? And then like one day we're in Chicago, we're playing Park West, you know Park West? Yes. And he's like, all right, I love that section, but can you just, can you not? My mom is here. And I was like, well, she's about to find out a few things, isn't she? But I'm never telling-

She's like, my son's gay? Right. I thought you were a woman. Where is he from? Chicago. Oh, he is a Chicago guy. Yeah, he's from Lincoln Park. Oh, nice.

Rich. Love it. And he's very, very, very, he's like, it keeps our relationship spicy because his favorite drag queen is Jinx Monsoon. So he's like, very, very... It keeps our relationship spicy because his favorite drag queen is Jinx Monsoon. So he's like, you're hilarious, but Jinx... I mean, she would have been better. Now, is there a jealousy complex that exists sometimes? About me?

Yeah, and like... You know how in couples' relationships when they're like, oh, I like her. So does your wife like another comedian more than you or she think you're the funniest i think she hates comedy in general because of you i think she ruined it yeah yeah i think she thinks when you took off your clothes she could never laugh again she goes once no you know what it is she actually does hate not hate comedy but like because we're she's so close to it. It's kind of like,

not annoying, but like she just, she's seen too much. I don't know how to, you know what I mean? She's too inside baseball. It's like, yes,

my boyfriend will come see like when he comes on tour with me for a week, let's say he comes on the bus for a week or whatever. He'll come to the show every night because he has nothing to do because he's fucking everyone he knows on the tour is working right so he's like drink in hand like i guess another night let's see how people around me react about a story about my penis you know but in any story with him i don't know how it is with when do you include your wife in some of your jokes yeah but you know what like it's all it yes yes but it's also like so many times in stand-up, especially, the stories are spun into these great wild tales or elongated.

Full-blown lies. Yes. Yeah. It starts as a nugget of like, you know what happened to me? And then it turns into this nonsensical pulling from different parts of my life. So there's never like a, you know what she did today? I don't really do that stuff. But it'll be like an experience

we've had together that's wrapped into another story right so i mean no honestly maybe no i guess it's just it's also hard because i'm not uh i don't do that i don't know i'm not like uh um you respect her too much i hate her guts i will put him in the show but um he he's he's pretty fine with it because most of the time it's a story about how he's great and I'm awful. He's great, but I'm disgusting. Oh, see, that's sweet. So like he's always like in the story, even a story about his dick, it's like it's about how his is great. And yours is awful.

And mine is garbage. Yeah. So like he always gets to be the Superman. Right. So even when he's embarrassed, I'm like, I just did a 15 minute set about how great you are. Right. Take the compliment. So yeah, he can't get mad.

For some reason, I have this love with like, Norm MacDonald was always so good at, first of all, Norm would joke about a wife he doesn't have, which I always was fascinated with. I was like, oh, that's so funny. When he's like, my wife, the battle axe, and he would make up this character of a wife. So sometimes I'll make up this character of my wife that's not real i just hyperbolize this false character that i've totally created from nothing and she laughs does she know you have another family i do i have two families i have two families actually one in puerto rico shout out and uh no and she and she she thinks it's funny because it's you know to her it's like eye roll it's like

you're so fucking dumb because she knows i've created this character that isn't real but also i pulled something from reality right i take one little nugget and then i run with it so instead of like she's great i'm shit it's more like you know what she fucking doesn't pisses me off but it's not that was not me no the chair broke while i was on it can we tell can we tell the audience what happened i mean i'm gonna say it yes yannis poppice broke my chair last week no i'm gonna say it because i told trixie before this i said i want to say i've been fasting i say you have to be careful because uh this chair was broke last week. Giannis broke my fucking chair and we tried to fix it.

Did you see my eyes? I know. The fear. It was like Jurassic World. Like I was so like get out like I was going to the sunken place. But now I'm just going to have to like not have to bill him for this chair. So if you guys think that this is a very rich studio where everything's going well, we're sitting on broken chairs talking about wives we don't have.

Yeah, we're struggling through the water right now. And the broken chair, I'm so sorry. It's kind of more comfortable this way. Is it more than comfortable? Yeah. I will say this. My boyfriend, I'm sometimes more honest in the act than I am in my relationship. So when he comes to the show, he'll be like, oh, like oh well well you'll say something you never could

say to him to his face yes like one time on uh which were like you know getting ready to film season six one time we were like uh i was talking about how 2020 was supposed to make my year to have sex and drag i'd never done it it was like this is my year like you really never did i've never done how long you've been stunning as i am yeah and the way people present themselves to me wait how long you've been doing drag um almost 15 as I am. Yeah. And the way people present themselves to me. Wait, how long have you been doing drag? Almost 15 years. And you never had sex in drag? No. I've been propositioned a lot, but I've never, I mean, to me, it's not such a sexy feeling.

You don't feel sexy. I do, but not in that way. I feel sexy like Jessica Rabbit, not like porn, not penthouse. You know what I mean? Yeah. Cartoony, sexy. Yeah. But I was like, you know what?

I'm 31. Like, if I i'm gonna do it like this is kind of a depreciating asset i'm not gonna at 50 be like all right i'm putting on the wig you know exactly the cigarette come on boys come on and ride this pony yeah uh i'm smoking at 50 and i ash it i don't have a shoe on it's barefoot right now and then uh but i was like this is my year of sex and drag and i I'm sitting with my boyfriend watching and I just feel him look at me and I can feel his heat and he goes, oh, so this is your year to have sex and drag, huh? And I was like, yeah, I just.

Well, not with you. With somebody. Never with you. No, I wanted to have sex. Not with you. But sometimes, especially in the improv style shows, I'll say things where I don't even remember saying it and then watching it. I'm like, Oh,

that's something my boyfriend's going to find out about today. Well, like, but honestly, if you do it with so much love on stage, it does help the conversation. Cause I've done that too, where I'm like, we had this whole thing about,

it was this whole joke. We were getting into a lot of fights. And I told this story about, and I used to do this joke and I, I threw it away because whatever but it was about the fact that she left one waffle in in like i love waffles i used to go home at night after stand-up shows that was my like comfort food was like waffles it just reminded me of like home and put peanut butter and syrup on it and sit late at night

like a fat kid like a fat kid like a sad fat kid yeah and she left a waffle in the box as like a fuck you to one because we got into a fight yeah and she had like you know what i mean and she knew that yes checkmate it was just so cold and it was annoying but like perfect as like a fuck you yeah you're fucking waffle like we're still gonna live together but bitch remember you're fucking remember this yeah and i told this whole long-headed joke about it and of course like she loved it and thought it was funny but it was also a way to talk about how how normal it is to fight about petty shit we yeah of course it's so but but in the time you're just like we're fighting about all sorts of nonsense and i'm so angry about everything but really then you back up 10 000 feet you're like oh it's just a petty bullshit right for no reason the fight before that had nothing to do with anything and then the fight

that led up to that and then the waffle thing was like how minuscule to be like why'd you do that you didn't go it was so lame but like to do it on stage helps get this thing out it helps like get out the beast you're also like you're telling like if i have a let's say we have a fight with which i've never made a joke about but there's this side of the story. And then the story with the audience is going to be more like my side of it. How I saw it. Right. So it doesn't mean this is how I feel about it, but like, you know.

Yeah. But, but you have to give, but you're giving, you're giving this like a, a more educated spin on what really went down. Yeah. You know what I mean? I also play a different person, so I'm sure I get away with more than most people. You know what I mean? I also play a different person, so I'm sure I get away with more than most people. You know what I mean?

Are you going to shoot me? What if you brought out a.22? What would you do if I just pulled out? What would be the weirdest thing for me to pull out? What if like a little hamster came out? I put my legs behind my head and I was like, let's do this. I'm prepared.

Hey, it's not my first rodeo. I'll do it. But I'm pretty. Hey, it's not my first rodeo. I'll do it. But I'm pretty lucky because he'll come see my shows like once and he'll be like, okay, great. Got it. And then, you know. And then never come again. No, he'll get. He's like, I get it.

It's great. Whatever. And he laughs. What's the pinnacle for a drag queen? Like what's the. It depends who you ask. Like for me as like a drag queen. What's the grand old Opry for you?

Like for me as a drag queen to stand the grand old opry for you like for me as a drag queen to stand up like flying to just for laughs and being like oh my god that's anthony jess i'm like oh my god that's anthony anderson oh my god like in first class being like um i'm going to a real comedy festival but you did that i did it but i'm like i'm in first class with real comedians going to to headline a real comedy festival. That was like, blew my mind. Yeah. Forever. But then of course, like winning drag race was of course. Yeah. Yeah.

Yes. Anytime I get to be on the billboard charts, I'm just like mind blown. I think of myself like in the country at 13 learning guitar being like, what? Crazy. That is. So like for a lot of drag queens, it's different for a lot of drag queens. Maybe it's meeting the person they impersonate or I don't know getting a nose job did you drag queens have different levels did you base trixie on anything specific i mean like barbie was probably the biggest thing yeah but i mean did you ever put it together mattel yeah i'm a little i'm there but i mean like there's got to

be something else was there someone from your childhood that you like was there somebody that you what if i brought a picture of mom my mom and she literally like lines i would fucking die she's like so what i knew you were gonna fucking so what so what big deal um for me it was barbie obviously because i wasn't allowed to have girl toys so that was like uh you know polly pocket and barbie my little pony i just when i when i came to drag i was like okay i don't want to look like a woman i want to look like a thing like a like a marionette when you say you weren't allowed did you ask for girl toys and they said i knew not to ask uh yeah like it was like boys aren't supposed to have these don't ask for it i'm sure they actually would have given it to me but it was like did you ever have that thing do

you have that feeling that you want to just go buy one and hide it from everybody i mean with what money yeah you didn't steal you didn't steal from your parents no i stole all the time you did i was the thief what i stole all the time i stole well so broke i had nothing to steal well if you didn't steal from your parents? No. I stole all the time. You did? I was a thief. What? I stole all the time. We were so broke, I had nothing to steal. Well, if I didn't steal from my parents, I would just steal. I'd go in a store and steal.

I loved stealing. You did? Yeah, petty theft was my thing as a kid. Did you ever get caught? No, not really. Because it was always insignificant shit. I don't have that kind of luck. What did I steal?

I stole CDs. I've been fired from a job for not stealing. I know. I don't have that kind of luck what did i steal i still i still like cds i've been fired from a job for not stealing i know i don't have that kind of guardian angel we used to steal i used to steal fucking like cds you know the trick you know what we used to do all the time with that was like we don't we would go into shove them up shove them on my ass yeah uh i would no you would this is the biggest this was years ago people you know nowadays who cares this was the 80s yeah it was actually was it really no it was the 90s no but on the top of the on the top of cd cases they used to put the this tape filler that was labeled with what it was but it also kept the cd closed yeah but if you unhooked the bottom

of the case of a jewel case you could flip up the top because they never taped the bottom and just take the cd close the case and put it back we were bad boys we used to do it all these were you stealing what's the what's the hot gin blossoms um yeah uh no what what was the first cd i ever stole i'm trying to think i mean i was into hip-hop a lot when i was a kid so i stole a lot of rap i probably tupac which is a great look for a white red-headed kid stealing music from african-american i was obsessed they're african-american i was obsessed with fuck i was i was obsessed with um hip-hop i was like to a degree that was disgusting were you to eminem i didn't love eminem because he was white i don't i've talked about this openly i

like my hip-hop artist black i've said that i don't have anything against white um rappers i work with one on dave one of my good friends is a white rapper i just have always joked i love my rappers black and i was like it's something about as a kid eminem was like great to me but not me yeah i mean it's not like a heavily saturated pool yeah well i just friends with iggy you know iggy azalea yeah and i only know a few of her songs because i don't really listen to rap music but i'm like i think you're one of the only white female rappers i know about yeah there's there's only a handful kesha and blondie i don't think kesha's rap really well maybe she's like right on the edge yeah i mean i don't know no blondie

what was kind of pre well and, when they did Rapture, that was the first time rap music was ever on the charts. On MTV, yeah. Which is pretty iconic. It was in the streets, but it was being held down because of the white man. Totally. And sometimes it takes a white bitch to say,

this music's cool and I told you it was. Same thing Madonna did with Vogue. People were like, she stole it. I'm like, no, she showed everyone how cool it was. And then people got into it. And then she made money off it. Well, it's so funny. She bought kids.

Well, yeah. You want a kid? I do. I do. There's a lot of them. You can just go get one. Can you steal one now? Yeah, go down to the Gelson's.

Get one of the celebrity ones. When Charlize turns a blind eye, reach on the top shelf. Remember when adopting a kid was a cool thing to do for celebrities? They would buy two kids. It was Pokemon cards. It was. What happens in the future with those kids? Are they going to make it out?

Well, it really depends. I mean, you can kind of tell everything about the kind of name they start with. Like if it's a blanket situation, you're like, good night. You know, it's over. Good night. But sometimes they have famous parents and don't care and don't talk about it. Speaking of which, whatever happened to Michael Jackson's monkey?'t talk about it speaking to which whatever happened to michael jackson's monkey remember that monkey bubbles what happened to bubbles uh he's on he's on snl he's the musical guest on snl musical guest bubbles

is he really with joseph what would be your i guess what i was asking before is what would be your pinnacle personally like what would be the i guess what i was asking before is what would be your pinnacle personally like what would be the top tier thing where you go not to say i have a few oh you do yes okay not to say you're done though like because as a performer we both know whenever you get to some level or do a thing it's not what you it's not it's never going to be this like and i did it right it doesn't matter so is there a kind of a thing that you know is gonna you know is like a goal at the very least that you're like it's like this we're like five years ago i would be like i can't believe it today i couldn't care less you know yes barely here i agree uh i will say being like a musical

guest or on the couch on like a real talk show right like what i mean what show like a musical guest or on the couch on like a real talk show. Right. Like what show? Like a late night. Wendy Williams. Like a Seth Meyers. Okay. Or like a Jimmy Kimmel. I've got to do like Jimmy Kimmel like other stuff a couple times, but like being on the couch talking about a tour or a TV show. Sure.

Like being like a real celebrity guest. Like I've been on shows where like I was on TRL and I remember being like in the corner and like the people on the couch. It's the wig thing. We're like the wig makes people pay attention to you, but there is a, you kind of put yourself in a glass ceiling a little bit. Like on TRL, the musical guest had less followers than I do. And you're like, how did this happen? Or, um, when I was on a certain show promoting my TV show on Viceland and the people on the couch, like weren't premiering a TV show that week. And I'm like, well, how am I not on the couch? You know, weird things like that where people pay attention to you because you're a cross-dresser, but they couldn't imagine that you're actually doing anything worth paying attention to.

It's a weird thing. The same thing happens in comedy. When I'm like workshopping stuff for a tour, I'll go to do a show at like Typewriter or something and I'll go like do a show. And I'll go do a show. And I always feel like I have to explain to everybody in the room what I'm doing, which I'm fine with. But they don't have to act so shocked that my audiences are thousands of people. You don't have to act. I think you and Adam were talking about it. People don't have to say you were actually funny.

It's the most annoying thing on earth. And people say it to me all the time. Yeah, no, it's the most annoying. You're actually really funny. I'm like, well, what did you think? It's just so backhanded. It's like saying- You're actually pretty.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, oh, wow. They see you naked and go, oh, you're actually attractive. So mean. So weird. It would be like doing that. If somebody you were trying to hook up with, and the moment they took off their clothes, and you're like, oh, God, you're actually okay.

This is not bad. Or I would love to do like a N nailed it or anything where i get to host a competition show i think would be fun all right let me ask you um over you can plead the fifth on this too uh have you done what see uh watch what happens live uh yeah okay like three times okay are you guys cool yeah who me and andy yeah andy cohen yeah okay i mean he's asked me back three times because i know he's very polarizing and a lot of andy cohen yeah okay i mean he's asked me back three times because i know he's very polarizing and a lot of people have trouble with him and i know he's a lot he never says more than you look great thank you so much for coming let's take a picture

but i mean i never have expectations for like right it's like how people sometimes say rupaul wasn't nice enough to them i'm like she's a 60 year old man who's been doing television for 40 years. What did you need? What did you need from this relationship? What did you need? She hosts a competition show that you're on. Right. Did you need a hug?

And I guess I manage my expectations. So when I meet the Ryan Murphys or the Andy Coens or anybody, I'm always just like, yeah, they were what I thought they would be. Yeah. They said, thank you for coming. You look great, which is more than I can ever ask for. Has anybody been? Jimmy Kimmel said that to me. They're always nice, but I never have these sky high like, I've discovered you or something.

You know what I mean? Right. Well, I remember when people were like- Have you been disappointed before by a- Well, no. I just think it's funny when people were like, Ellen was mean. You're like, what? I always say like, well, what did she say?

What did she say to you? What did you want? Right. What, what? I always say like, well, what did she say? What did she say to you? What did you want? Right. What was it? I just think. I love Ellen. And I don't even know if I would have the balls to say like, hey, when I was 13, I stole your album. Taste this on LimeWire.

And it made me think of what comedy could be. I just, it opened my mind to it. I'm not going to say that. That's weird. But it would be really cool. See, but I think that's endearing. You stole the album on LimeWire? You owe me $13.99.

I had like $13.99. And then you'd laugh and then she'd go, all right, get the fuck out of my face. Yeah, she'd know I actually, with inflation, I have $17. And she jetpacks and she goes, bye. And she jetpacks out of there. And then she pulls one of those things and it's a trap door. Yeah. And I fall straight through it.

You're on my game show. Yeah. Look into that camera. I don't even know what that's fucking called. No, but I don't know. There is no, no, I've never been let down, but I'm also admittedly, I'm very bad with names, right? I know you better than I know like-

Why do you know me? I was so, I've been following you for a long time and I was like, this is kind of left field, this follow. Well, I know you from, well, Drag Race, first of all. Yeah, okay, I didn't know you watched Drag Race. No, yeah. But what I'm saying is, hold on, and I'll get back to that. I know you more than I know,

I don't know the difference between Emma Stone and Emma Watson, and I get made fun, my wife makes fun of me, but I'm serious, I don't know the difference. I'm with you. But I don't know. I'm a great celebrity. And I'm genuine, you can show me the pictures, and I go, I'm almost fun my wife makes fun of me but I'm serious I don't know the difference I'm with you but I don't know I'm a great and I'm genuine you can show me the pictures

and I go I'm almost positive I know which one that is yeah but I don't know so I've never been let down by celebrities because I

I don't value any of them that sounds corny but I mean it like I don't even for you hate them even I don't give a

I couldn't give a less of a fuck about when someone's like do you know who that is I'm like i don't even for you hate them even i don't give a i couldn't give a less of a fuck about when someone's like do you know who that is i'm like i fucking it didn't mean it means so little to me it's weird it's not about the fame as much as it's like if i like the work then i'm shook if you're a voice actor on the powerpuff girls i'm shook right if you're kim kardashian i might not know what you actually look like yeah i don't care you know i don't care right i feel the same way i know that's it sounds fake to people because people are like, you're a run. That's why comedy world's fun because you can stand.

I remember when I had JFL, I met Marina Franklin. I was like, oh my God, I just love you so much. And she was just like, oh my God, thank you. Right. Because she's not like, I don't know, Ellen. Not everyone knows her even though she's very famous in comedy. That to me is why. even though she's like very famous in comedy.

But that's kind of what the, that to me is why it's almost like the only people that have made me nervous in fame was Larry David. I was beyond, a new level of nervous. I've never felt that way in my life. It's not fun to be nervous when you have to also be on camera at the present. Oh, I was so nervous when I,

not when we worked together, when I met and we tested together, when he wanted to like see me in the room, that was the most, I'll admittedly say i was shook i was like fuck i'm gonna fuck this up because it was in my head too much and it did fine and then when we worked together it was it was that thing was already gone but only two or three people have actually made me like nervous and it's only because what you said they're so i respect what they do so much that it fucks me up i get weird i get like uncomfortable and i did larry king and i know he's larry king but i didn't really watch larry king so i wasn't nervous right even though it's larry king has like

eight p bodies or something crazy like that yeah but then it's like i don't know if i meet a drag queen from the uk who lives in a city who I just follow on Instagram, I'm like, oh, can I have a picture with you? Yeah, he's alive. He's like 87. No, but he has code. Do you know he went and had code and went to the hospital? I did know that.

But Larry King's going to beat it. He's beat cancer like three fucking times. He was extremely nice to me. I've only heard good things. No one has had a story about Larry where they're like, ah, it was a little annoying. The best interview, if you ever want to watch a funny one, Danny Pudi. Do you know Danny from Community? Do you know him? No. Okay. He's

brown, and I know you don't like brown people, so I understand. We'll be right back after this break. Not saying I don't like brown people and then driving in a break, so there's no rebuttal. You can't get out of it. Danny had an interview with, please have more of that. please and then there's your elderflower up top sponsorship no these guys this is just because i i love i like this gin a lot and i wanted to buy it for you

that's i really like fancy gin so thank you yeah um uh the best interview is with danny and one of my favorite clips you can look it up yourself at home, but genuinely, Larry does this thing where he, I think Larry forgets that he's so rich and so famous. Famous, really famous. Like so, so much. Your grandpa who lives in the woods who doesn't watch TV. Knows Larry King. Yeah. It's like, what do they say? Chris Rock said it best. You aren't famous in comedy until people who hate comedy know who you are Larry King is like if you know nothing about entertainment

you know Larry King Larry said to Danny Pudi he said what's a luxury you can't live without I don't know if you've ever seen this clip and Danny Pudi goes well I like

you know like I like you know coffee and Larry goes that's not a luxury and he goes okay I like really nice socks and Larry King is like

what it's not a luxury and King is like, what? It's not a luxury. And Danny's like, well, what luxury should I have? And Larry King goes, I don't know, like private jets? And Danny goes, Larry, I'm on duck tails. He was Larry. I think he also forgets that he's like. Larry is high comedy.

Oh, dude. On accident. Yes, it's so good. High comedy. My assistant was with me, and my assistant has green hair, and he goes, your hair's green. And I was just like, oh, shit. This is going to be the best day ever. Perfect.

And then his assistant, it was a lot of gay staff, actually, and they were like, number one, work diva. Number two, just so you know, Larry is 84. So he might say something that maybe is not the verbiage of 2020 or whatever, but he means well. He's like, what's cock taste like? You're like, uh, Larry. You tell me, Larry. No. He asked me three times if I was transgender.

Three. Which somebody his age is earnestly trying to understand. I wasn't offended. I was just like, oh, no, no, I live as a man. I'm not a woman when even though i look when he says are you do you think he he was like he doesn't know what it means i'm not being yes i think he doesn't know what it means right so i think he's asking do you live as a woman kind of right right right so he's like are you trans and i kind of explained it to him but they

didn't include an interview but i didn't again context i'm not thinking larry's homophobic transphobic no larry's actively trying to understand. Yeah. And like, he was like, I was like, I said some analogy about like, you know, you have the corn and you can eat it or you can plant corn and grow more corn. And Larry's like staring. And Larry sits like on South Park like this. I mean, he was so nice, but it is this.

Yeah. With the full suit with active um like sneakers right right and he looks right at the camera and does my whole bio with no notes and no teleprompter amazing really perfectly at that age that's he hadn't even looked me in the eyes yet and he looks right at the camera and goes our next guest is an American super like the tv show's music he knew all the no prompter wow so then he goes then he goes, I go, you know, Korn. And then it's a long pause and he's looking at me and I go, you like Korn? And he goes, yeah, on the cob, yeah.

And it was so funny. So it's me and Larry going like, I love Korn. He's like, me too. But honestly, the simplicity of him, I don't know if he's like me too and like but honestly the simplicity of him i don't know if he's so brilliant that it's on purpose or the accident is the beauty right like is he so smart at comedy that he knows just let it sit and go yeah i love corns i think yeah but that's what i can i can't i can never understand about him is like does he know that when he said to danny pootie luxury like a private jets is that is that him being so ahead of the joke where he's like this fucking

idiot doesn't take private jets but i'm gonna say it earnestly so he thinks that i really mean it yeah like is he that good like every time i watch him like is he that fast i don't think in that case i think he actually has been larry king so long that he thinks that that's – I mean that guy said coffee and Larry countered with private jets. But that's what I mean. That could be such good – there's a piece of me that believes that sometimes people that have lived in this business for so long, they just know that you're going to give or he's going to tee you up. Right. Like maybe Larry is just trying to lead you into a pissing contest that you will never win. Right. Like I don't know, private and then larry like looks at the camera like

yeah exactly maybe that's kind of what happened but uh he was very high comedy and then you know the oh honey thing is kind of like a catchphrase and at the end of the interview he goes thanks honey and i was like yeah he's doing a bit see what i mean he knows he knows he knows he's He knows. He's one of those people where I'll probably never get to be on a show. So thank you for rubbing it in. I really do appreciate that. It could happen. I was the second drag queen ever. Could I be the third?

Could I be? What's my drag name again? What did we say it was? I don't even. Ginger Vitis? Ginger Vitis. That's fun, right? Yeah, I guess.

I just have to show up with really bad teeth yeah my teeth that's your bit is like oh the nail fell off oh god i'm turning back into a pumpkin who's oh my god is it midnight turning it yeah who's the um who is the not worst is the wrong word but like who is the, who's the drag queen that like everybody loves? Why'd you say worst first? Well, you know what I mean. Who's the one that everybody loves but it's like, not because she's, what am I trying to say?

You tell me. Okay. I'll give you the best example. Because she's nice. I'll give you the best example. Cool. I'll give you some, like in standup, the best example and i'll give you some like in stand-up there's people that aren't that funny but we love them so much it doesn't matter honestly

so is there someone in drag that's like so beloved by the community but they're not even that good at drag but it's almost like me no fuck you no i'm incredible but who is it that there's like because in comedy we have our loves where we're like everybody know and i don't want to mention names because it's nobody's business. Because it's Bobby Lee. It's Bobby Lee. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, he also is in drag. Do you know that, right? He's black. He's a black girl. Yeah. It's a weird, it's strange. These are his words, not mine. He's got to have done drag at some point.

I wish. He's on Mad TV. Would he be cute? He's beautiful. I don't want to generalize, but a lot of times, Asian men, they have a lot of features that really lend themselves to either gender. Yeah, but that's like slender Asian men. He's

very portly. Even better, though. Because when you're plus size as a man, your angular jaw, etc., rounds out. The big queens are the prettiest queens, usually. That's why I'm so ugly. I'm so thin. Yeah, but Asian or white? White is usually ugliest. Any version of white is prettiest Queens usually. Asian though. That's why I'm so ugly. I'm so thin. Yeah. But Asian or white? Because,

because he is. White is usually ugliest. Any version of white is ugliest usually. Um, I will say the more melanin in the skin, the more you just age better, softer features. Well,

these are just facts of humans. Yeah. Fuller lips, fuller cheeks, better skin, better hairline. Hottest, hottest drag queen right now is who?

Like in the industry? No, no, no. Oh, no no oh out of drag yeah god um sasha bell's really hot i mean she is from my season of drag race and she went on to do bodybuilding and now does porn fuck so she's like a six two daddy with like a hammer dick just raking in the only fans money so the only fans money is is like, shockingly, I never knew it was. I'm thinking they're getting paid. But now I'm like, oh, fuck, that's like millionaire's row.

Imagine the porn industry level money if you cut out every middleman, including the camera person, the producer, the casting, all of it. Wow. So if you're successful, do you know anybody who does OnlyFans? Yeah. They make more money than you. You live in LA, right? Yeah. Everyone I know does OnlyFans.

During COVID, I'm dead serious. I would say half the people I know do OnlyFans. And it's fine. No, me too. I'm dead serious. I know probably, I would say 15 to 20 people that do OnlyFans. Yeah. To varying levels too, which I also find interesting.

Yeah. I know people who just work out naked. I know people who have full sex. I know people who only do fashion modeling. Yeah. Or trying on clothes is a big one too like trying on outfits yeah that's so much money in that honestly i know someone i cannot mention on outfits tries on outfits i tried on for this you should seriously only fans i'm not kidding there's so much money in watch people just want to watch you comment about trying on clothes oh like

I wish this cut differently yeah and they send you the fucking clothes the craziest part is these companies just give people clothes cause they're getting paid cause they mention the brand

and all that shit are you serious yes you should do it I would say she's one of the hottest it really depends who you ask but there's a lot of very attractive

I mean to you oh to me like who would be the one yeah sasha bell's pretty beautiful otherwise god not many i mean i like kind of big and burly as in like like strong and chunky like strong chunky hairy beard like mass and a lot of the drag queens are like hairless they don't even have eyebrows so really oh are you kidding or so no they have i've seen they have hot for a drag queen just means you have teeth like drag queens out of drag it's a little bit of a mixed bag you know right right right would i fare okay in drag world out of in drag out of drag uh yeah out of drag yeah uh out of drag not so great

great uh in drag i don't probably i'd have to shave what are you like six feet tall six one yeah you'd have to shave 195 yeah you'd have to shave um i got a nice tush what kind of i have to say if you did drag what kind of drag would you do um i want to see in the comments, what kind of drag would you do? I want to see in the comments, too, what kind of drag they see you in. What's the look? You've got to do red hair. Yeah, no.

I would need wigs. But this is like red hair, red hair. You can do like Poison Ivy, Ruby, like Rihanna red. Like fun red. I guess, but it's because I live with this. I'd want something different, you know? Oh, blonde? I think I'd be a brunette the fashion police

are coming to get you if the mics can't pick this up there's a cop car going by I just there's something about brunette is hot like when you look at whenever I see a picture

of like not Lisa Marie Presley Elvis' wife Lisa Marie Presley, Elvis' wife. Lisa Marie Presley? That's the daughter. That's not, wasn't that his wife too?

Is it? They're from the South. Priscilla Presley. Priscilla Presley, yeah. When I see her or like Lana Del Rey, big, big brown hair with like doe eyes, I'm like,

oh, I kind of wish I was brunette. But I've never, no. No, blonde is right for you. Yeah, it's right for me. You know why?

Because your face, you have a face that it's a blonde face. Because I look dumb? No, it's just you have a face that works with blonde. It's something about your face. Well, there's hieroglyphics on my face, which... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ancient Egyptians made that. There's this one drag queen who, because of my nose,

tells me I'm a woman behind bars. Because there's two brown lines. That's what's funny about drag is like, of course, we're beautiful. But ultimately, what's magical about drag is it's a whole room of people agreeing suspension of disbelief. Even if you're at a shitty gay bar with a sticky floor, the whole room goes, eh, she's a woman. Let's just go with it. I know that we can see lines on her nose. We can smell her armpits

and she doesn't know the words but that's Selena but that's why anybody who likes theater at all loves drag anybody that has any sort of you know how they say I'm not a huge wrestling fan I don't like wrestling

but people who tell me it's theater it's drag theater a lot of drag queens love wrestling and vice versa because it's drag theater and it really is and they tell me all the time they're like you like that showy thing you would like it i just never invested in it but the more i think about that stuff i'm like oh yeah it's the same thing as when i go to see a drag show i'm so deep in the theater of this fucking cockamamie thing that's been And you wear your theater look.

You do a scarf. You do like opera glasses. I have an ascot. Opera glasses. Yes. Smoking indoors. Illegal. Continue.

You have a box seat. Even if it's a gay club, you bring your own box seat. Right. It's like a shitty Hamburger Mary's and you're like. By the way, I took my dad to Hamburger Mary's. That's a good like cherry pop. It was a good intro level. My second place in West Hollywood was Crescent Heights.

Big Fat Dicks. Bring your dad to Big Fat Dicks. We said BFDs, but that's, you know, you're a rookie. At BFDs, dad pops an eye. We crossed swords and we took a photo. Oh, my God. We won. No, when I moved into my second place, Crescent Heights in Santa Monica, my dad was like-

You were going to the gays. Yeah, I was. Crescent Heights in Santa Monica. Yeah, I was sniffing around. I wanted to see what was going on. I mean, fuck, Circus of Books was across the street from my house. But let me tell you, you want gay people to like you, say you're not gay. I am gay.

But if you say you're not gay, they'll be obsessed with you. Yeah, I'm not gay. It's the same reason as gay guys all the time. I'm like, if you want a boyfriend, wear a wedding ring. Right. Because men, I think, in general, want what they can't have. Yeah. So if you're not available, they're like, oh, I want that.

Well, yeah, whenever I would go. Well, but also, you can sniff me from my... I mean, I couldn't look more of a boring straight guy. So when Justin would take me to any of those bars, I was bait. You know what I mean? I was chum in the water. It was always like- They would get drunk and then Justin would move in.

This is the podcast where we expose Justin as a predator. It wouldn't be comedy if somebody wasn't a predator. He was just baiting me. He was just baiting me. He was masturbating you. He was masturbating me the entire time. And by the way, loved it. Didn't fight.

No, I took my old man, by the way, to hamburger mary's and got tanked and fell in love like he's not love it he's not like somebody who is against it at all but also is is kind of uninterested in that he's like whatever you know what i mean like doesn't care yes that's a great old person attitude where they're like whatever floats your boat he couldn't care he i mean my mom just had has so many friends in the gay community that i think it just he didn't care it was never like a but we take him there and he was whatever about it then he got lit up and was like party animal was dancing and shit i was like look, look at this motherfucker. Yeah, because I think once they really feel how fun it is, like the party that goes on, it's hard to not get involved.

And once you realize like, oh, this is, besides the nudity or the innuendo, this is very pure. It is, huh? It's very like, adults just want to feel like kids. A drag show is one of the only places where adults can go and feel like children. Yeah. It is really childlike. It's very fantasy.

Very fantasy. And I mean, especially at a drag show like a Hammer Girl Marries, they're usually like family friendly. So the only sex jokes you're going to get are like innuendo. It's more like Elvira. It was pretty soft.

Yeah. Or RuPaul where it's like, or Bugs Bunny where it's like wink wink. Right. It's not that bad. Was Bugs Bunny in drag? Bugs Bunny is probably one of the most famous drag queens ever. Is that, and I'm stupid?

And that's a known thing? No, do you remember Bugs Bunny would always escape by pretending to be a woman? And dress up like a girl, yeah. Yeah. One of the best quotes of all time was an improv scene in Wayne's World. They're sitting on, they're supposed to be at O'Hare Airport, watching planes go over. And they're sitting on the hood of the car. And Mike Myers, or I mean, I'm sorry, Dana says to Mike, he says, o'hare airport watching planes go over and they're sitting on the hood of the car and mike myers

or i mean i'm sorry uh dana says to mike he says hey wayne did you ever find bugs bunny attractive when he put on a wig and pretending to be a girl yes i remember and mike laughs and you can feel the laugh is so real because dana threw it to him out of nowhere and he goes neither did i it was just a question i was like that's the it was one that's one of the like by far the greatest moments where i'm like oh god that's comedic genius to throw oh genius no no i always think like i was just talking to whitney about this i was like i always think you comedy people truly all know each other we in a way we've all met like we all have met each other but like or like ships in the night yes no seriously but i only consider like knowing someone with like this like i know you now yeah but like but like with

drag queens like i've met everyone once right at this point right do i know them maybe not hard like it's there's there's people that i've met in comedy that i think i would say i know but then there's they might say no yeah you know they might oh. The only other queens I think that are like comedian comedians, like they do stand up for a living is Bob, you know, Bob the Drag Queen. Yes. That's probably one of the funniest people who's ever lived. Yeah. She's Wayne Brady in a wig.

Yeah. Looks like Wayne Brady in a wig. Wayne Brady is Wayne Brady in a wig, by the way. Totally. Yeah. That's very deep. And then Bianca, obviously Bianca Del Rio. And she's more like um like elisa

lempinelli like ripping into the audience yeah like the the worst horrible non-pc night of your life is a bianca show but that's why those things are so fun because they're there because you if you're smart enough to know that it's all fucking for fun and it means nothing then you can come along on this ride like we keep talking about it's like if you're and it means nothing, then you can come along on this ride. Like we keep talking about, it's like if you're down for the journey and I've talked and I taped and you know, and I know,

and we're both in on it, aren't we in on it? Right. Where's the issue? I just like, that's the thing about entertainment as a whole. I hope the future of it is like when there's, when there's tape on someone's genitals,

take it with a grain of salt. You know, when there's wigs, take it with a grain of salt. Please relax. It's not – I remember when I first heard it because I was doing drag and then I was like, I want to do stand-up. So I'm going to go do improv with the Comedy Sports in Milwaukee. And I started working with them and I remember they were giving me a tour and they were like, this is the wig wall. And I remember being like, those are not wigs.

And that's where I was like, I'm going to spend a and i remember being like those are not wigs and that's where i was like i'm gonna spend a few years here but like those are not wigs it was like granny wigs and i was like and once you realize comedy people drag queens we're literally all just putting on proverbial wigs we are we're the same people yeah the same same with go-go boys strippers i mean comedians and strippers are way closer. Same people. They're the same people. The same people. Yeah, we're all putting on an act. It's all some wonderful act that's, by the way, completely self-absorbed. Oh, entirely.

It's all about, it's just us. Do you like strippers? Love. You do? Love. Okay. I love the sex work industry. What I guess what I mean is I-

You love the idea. Oh, I love it do you go to strip clubs the only time i've gone to strip clubs honestly is after comedy festivals yeah that's when you go yeah it's like me montreal yeah yes it's like montreal where it's like me and every gay comic and the thing that night and nicole byer being like i guess we're going to the gay strip club yeah but you, but when you go there. Nicole being the drag queen of the group. Nicole, what'd you say?

Nicole being the drag queen of the group. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, drag queens love Nicole. Is she like top tier for you guys, huh? She's a drag queen to us. I mean, she's in a full makeup in a wig. Yeah. She's us.

Yeah, yeah. And Nicole, like in a dressing room of drag queens, you would swear that she's doing a number that night. She's a drag queen. She is. She's very funny. We should have you, because I always talk about like at drag shows, the real show is in the dressing room. And I think at comedy clubs, besides people in the corner like muttering their set, the real show is in the...

Is behind the scenes. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's why... Did you ever see comedians... Fuck, what was it called? In Cars committing manslaughter? No, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's where, I mean, that's why, did you ever see comedians, uh, uh, fuck, what was it called? In cars committing manslaughter?

No, no, no, no. Yeah. Can meet rich people in cars getting coffee? No. Um. That is what that was. It's like multimillionaires getting coffee. In fancy cars.

Yeah. And not drinking the coffee. I have no hate for Jerry Seinfeld. I just never, I just, every time I saw it, the people are like, did you see it? I was like, what is it? Rich people getting coffee? Is it the most getting coffee that being said if the phone rang

and they said would you come on and go in the car you would say of course I won't yeah cause you don't have a choice it's like almost like a fucking it's like bend my arm

it's like yeah of course I'm gonna do I'm gonna do that but also it's like every time Drag Race is like do you wanna come back and do this

I'm like you're not asking you're telling yeah I have to I don't have a choice right that's right it's more like a you have to do this

right but as an out you know you still have to from from the outside, be like, this is fucking ridiculous. Fucking rich people getting coffee at Intelligentsia. I'm sure they're rented. Beautiful cars. Yeah. No, no, Jerry owns all those. Yeah.

They're even European. Jerry's on the wrong side of the car. It's Amy Schumer being like, is this okay? Yeah, no. I would do it. Of course, i would do it in a fucking a heartbeat but it's one of those things where you know yeah it's just i always made fun of the fact that i was like this is like the richest people on earth talking about life at when and they get coffee and yeah it's not relatable content no it's really tough can i ask you a stand-up question yeah because i was just talking to uh i forget who i was talking about this uh matt uh bowen yang yeah and matt uh rogers yes called

theresa's yeah we were talking about like for those of us who haven't done stand-up now stand-up is an act where like the more you do it the more often the better you get yeah and even when you're not touring you have to go like the gym you have to keep going yeah what do you think is going to happen to all of us are do our credits transfer yeah well we're all going to be back at improv one no no no the card still swipes you know what i mean like i still feel like you still achieved what you've achieved and work to what you've worked to and like that will transfer over i just think um i think people are going to be more starving than ever to like watch us all again like whatever capacity live performance is i don't care what it is people

are going to go see fucking music like i just think it's gonna we're gonna have some weird there's gonna be some weird massaging time like it's gonna be a lot more you know we're just trying to figure this the fuck out again right because there's no's no repetition at all. And I think that happens in any live performance art when it, when you take a break or it makes you take the break. But also, this has been live performance, so like. Yeah. I mean, I've been, I will say this year. I'm gonna edit

it to just me talking to myself. But that's just me. I don't blame you. Yeah, that's just me. Or your voice and my body. Like, don't I look incredible? It'd be great if it was your voice with me talking the whole time. Guys, I finally changed my hair color. Yeah. Blonde whiskey.

Yeah. No, but yeah. No, you're right though. I do think it's definitely going to affect our business. Do you remember your sets? I do. But that's only because I'm obsessive. Okay, because I really don't.

You don't at all? No. Yeah, but I'm- I have some of my like- Because I was pulled off my national tour. Yeah. Right when COVID started. So then I- Same thing. Because I really don't. You don't at all? No. Yeah, but I'm... I have some of my like... Because I was pulled off my national tour right when COVID started. So then I... Same thing.

You were too? Yeah. So I have my last show recorded. So I remember the tour when I listened to it. But like if I had to go do 10, I'm like, I don't remember. Well, so I went... Or type 15, I'm like, I don't remember it.

Yeah, see? Well, I mean like my repetition was for years, for like 14 years was like every night, three shows a night. So it's still ingrained in me. You're a sleeper agent. Yeah, I am. But I am annoyed with like, oh, I have to start all over again a little bit. Yeah. In the idea of like the performance idea

because the rhythm you have to get back into, it's not the jokes, it's more your performance. And it's so, that's gonna take some time without a doubt. I think it's gonna be wild. From like a business perspective, the drag queens we always talk about like in the last six months, we're always like, what's gonna happen?

We're predicting in gay world, at least in club life, it will be the roaring 20s. People will wear halloween costumes to the club i couldn't agree more glitter i couldn't agree more people will go get blackout drunk on a monday yep it will be lines in every bar every night i couldn't agree more but as far as like quality of content i think it's going to be it's going to be odd for all of us to step on stage not mention this because i think that nobody wants to hear about it at that point i don't think anybody wants to hear about covid shit anymore the more i was like originally in

the beginning of this i was like how is this going to affect the way we live during it and now that we see a light at the end of the tunnel with vaccinations and stuff i'm like what will the pickup be like for us comics who i don't know you do your i don't know how you workshop things but it's like if i have 15 i'm going to do 10 minutes of stuff I know works. And then five of new with a cushion just in case. Right. It's like, for those of us who haven't really working standup is different than being on camera.

Yeah. It's going out one night knowing like, this is the night where it might not work at all. Cause this is brand, brand new, you know? Yeah. But I mean like,

but you also know your, your confidence of what you, what you write and what you work on. I'll be confident. No,, but I mean like, but you also know your confidence of what you write and what you work on. Oh, I'll be confident. No, no, I mean like, but you know it's, you know there's something there that's good anyway. Yeah, I guess.

Whether or not it works, it's not whether or not it's good, it's whether or not it works. That's what I always believe. It's like, you know it's good. You just have to make it work because you formulated it so it came from this great nugget you put effort into creating this thing it's not oh is this a good joke or is

this it's just oh is this gonna work that's always been my thing it's like i know if i'm ready to present it to somebody it's good i just don't know if it's gonna work yeah like i know the core of it is funny yeah but through repetition and through trying it, you find out a lot of times, like I always talk about my first hour I worked on, I realized, oh, the punchlines, the pause. Yeah, yeah. Things you can't figure out

until you're in front of real people. You have to have it, right. It's gonna take time, but you're right though. Honestly, I think that's gonna be across the board, not just in any semblance of a certain community. People want to fucking get back and like see shit and watch it again i do think you're right it's going to be a little bit of time before it gets quality again it's going to be a lot of dumpster diving a lot of like people just want to

go see a million shows and i just think at some point it will level back out to like okay people want quality again instead of like i'll go anywhere i'll do anything because i do think people will go when this is all said and done whatever that means people will do anything yeah to get back out to go see fucking i'm sure cruises cruises are going to give it's gonna be a cruise with creed and by the way um trixie and i are opening for creed on the carnival cruise it's going from san juan i would too are you kidding me i think we're a similar age group yes i'm 31 you're 37 seven yeah i mean i grew up you said that three times because you want to rub it in by the way i'm once very young yeah like the the there's a certain amounts like certain

types of joke music i'm like that's not a joke to me. No. Like, 182 is not a joke to me. No. Dude Ranch. Dude Ranch. Take off your pants and jacket. It's not a joke to me. Not a joke to me. At all. Well, we're going to go on. We'll tour together. And hopefully we do get to do some shit together.

This would be fun because this could be the birthing of a beautiful friendship. I feel it. I feel God in this Chili's tonight. So do I. You and I in this awesome blossom are going to make it.

We are. We are. Okay. Look in the camera blossom are going to make it. We are. We are. Okay, look in the camera. I have to say a phrase or a word. Yeah, you know, but wait till I'm off camera. You take your time. I want you to do it on your accord,

but I'm going to leave now and let you have your moment in the sun. Okay. Okay, go ahead when you're ready. Hi, it's me, Trixie Mattel, and tonight Andrew Santino made me feel very comfortable. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger beard.

Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.