Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Yannis Pappas & John Stamos
Episode Date: May 17, 2024The Greek Boys are in the studio! Yannis Pappas & John Stamos teamed up in a triumphant return to the show. This one was wild! Sit back and enjoy! #johnstamos #yannispappas #whiskeyginger #podcast #a...ndrewsantino ================================================= SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS TWILLORY PROMO CODE: WHISKEY18 https://twillory.com RABBITHOLE $5 OFF YOUR ORDER https://rabbitholedistillery.com/buynow USE PROMO CODE: RABBIT PXG GOLF PROMO CODE: WHISKEY for SAVINGS! https://pxg.com BETTER HELP Get the help you need from a licensed professional 10% off your first month https://betterhelp.com/whiskey VIATOR PROMO CODE: VIATOR10 DOWNLOAD THE APP! https://viator.com ======================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.
You are that creature in the ginger beard.
Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Gingers are beautiful.
You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.
Gingers are hell no.
This whiskey is excellent.
Ginger. I like gingers.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger.
My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth.
I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today.
It's John Stamos.
And a little bit of Yanis Papad.
Another Greek. It's John Stamos and another Greek.
And another beautiful Greek.
It's a Greek takeover for Greek Easter. This is the weekend.
Greester.
I texted him yesterday. I said, what are you doing?
He said, oh, I'm having breakfast with Santino.
Then I'm doing his podcast.
I go, can I come?
Yeah, please.
And here I am, like, crashing your shit.
No, you're not crashing.
The breakfast with Santino didn't happen.
I was sitting in traffic for the breakfast.
But nobody texted me, so I'm over at this restaurant by myself, like a fool.
That was deliberate, though.
Well, here's the thing.
We just wanted to tell you we were having breakfast, so then John Stamos would be on the street asking women for addresses.
Yeah, you had let a little sweet lady from the nail store lead you down this path, huh?
We recorded it. We recorded it, and we're putting it out, especially the conversation we just had about Israel and Palestine.
Yeah, dude, that one we got to talk about, actually.
John Stamos on Israel and Palestine.
You know, he's moving to Iran, which I thought was interesting.
I thought that was a weird move for him.
That's just the street.
It's in Studio City.
Oh, is that Iran in Studio City?
Oh, right.
Iran Boulevard.
Yeah, Stamos calls me up.
He goes, I'm checking.
I'm looking at a villa in Iran.
And I'm like, what's going on?
He's like, it's just, I've got to change things up.
Disregard anything that's fucking packing.
I've got to switch it up, baby.
No, look, the beachfront properties in Iran are...
Gorgeous.
They're gorgeous.
Gorgeous.
Understated.
Very understated.
It's an up-and-coming place.
It really is.
It really is an up-and-coming place.
I went into the mall yesterday because I wanted to get new cologne.
Get out.
You're a cologne guy?
I'm a cologne guy.
I like cologne.
I like a little bit of smell good.
You are a cologne guy?
What kind of cologne did you...
You don't like cologne?
I don't like you now. Oh, get out. You don't wear cologne at all I like cologne. I like a little bit of smell good. You wear a cologne? What kind of cologne did you... You don't like cologne? I don't like you now.
Oh, get out.
You don't wear cologne at all?
No, I don't.
I'm straight, body odor, I'm natural.
You wear cologne.
I know you wear something.
No, I did when I was a kid.
I used to borrow my dad's Aramis.
Oh, Aramis.
And also his members-only jacket.
But I don't do either of those things anymore.
No cologne at all?
No, never.
You get to smell the hair product, right? That's enough. No, I don't do either of those things anymore. No cologne at all? No, never. You get to smell the hair product, right?
That's enough.
No, I don't have a smell.
You can't have three different smells coming off you.
Yeah, when you got lettuce like that.
Well, see, that's the thing.
I don't put hair product.
I don't use smell good body.
I use unscented everything.
Because I have sensitive little skin.
What kind of cologne is it?
You're a sensitive little fucking redhead.
What does it smell like?
Let's smell him.
Well, the brand that makes it, it's called Le Labo. It's a rip-off.
You know these guys. It's disgusting.
How do you do in the sun?
Do you have to go out in a beekeeper outfit to protect yourself from cancer?
This guy, huh?
It's just the only superior thing.
Is that a joke? Is that funny?
What do you mean by that?
What are you talking about, man?
Beerkeepers.
You know, the thing is, you can eat beerkeepers.
At a certain temperature, you can eat these.
You just got to pull up the stingers, man.
Pull that up.
Yeah.
I can't be out in the sun.
I'm not allowed out in the sun.
But you know what?
I go out.
I put on a little bit of sunscreen.
You know, I'm fine.
I can't go to the beach.
What are you, you go to the beach?
No.
I'll tell you. I can say this now. Years ago, I was on, I think it was I can't go to the beach. What are you, you go to the beach? No. I'll tell you, I can say this now.
Years ago, I was on, I think it was, I met him a couple times, and I got a call one day.
Hey, hi, John, would you want to go to the beach?
I'm like, who is this?
The Beach Boys.
Paul who?
Paul Rubens.
No, I don't want to go to the beach.
Paul Rubens with Pee Wee Herman?
Yeah.
Whoa, you should have gone. Hi, do you want to go to the beach?
You should have gone, man.
Take out your penis, huh?
But who invites someone to the beach?
It's so weird.
But Paul Reubens, I would have gone just for the story.
Yeah, I wasn't hip enough then.
He got clipped in the weirdest way.
Young people don't know who that is.
Pee Wee Herman, I mean, they may know who that is,
but he got in trouble for looting lascivious acts
inside of a pornography theater.
It just lets you know how far we've come,
that that was a big controversy then.
Yeah, he jerked off inside of a porno theater.
If that happened to him, I'd be like,
there was no kids in the theater?
He's cool, he's fine.
But that's only because the media
was starting to get a hold of stuff.
I watched that documentary over the weekend.
I've talked to everyone about it, the Rock Hudson one.
This guy is so funny.
He didn't work at all on trying to hide his sexuality.
Everyone around him did.
That's what I thought was fascinating.
He couldn't care less. He'd go out in West
Hollywood. They'd be like, hey,
do you want us to keep it low-key? He's like, I don't give a shit.
Get everyone back to the house. And they called it the
castle. He would round up dudes. They'd go
to the castle. He'd have these massive orgies
and then his team would work day in
and day out on trying to cover up for all this stuff.
And I thought, that's what agents and managers are for.
That's the old Hollywood right there.
That's what they should have fucking been doing.
They're making you 10%.
Well, now they're keyboard guys.
They just send an email and they're like, oh, I'm exhausted.
They don't do shit.
They go, do you want me to book the hotel?
Yeah.
It's a click away.
That's it.
Yeah, no, no.
No, they used to have to work around the clock to cover up for Rock Hudson because I guess
he couldn't care less.
Right.
What about Cary Grant?
Cary Grant was gay too?
He was gay too?
Yeah, yeah.
Bisexual, I think.
Sexual penis.
There's no such thing.
And look, there's pictures of him, and it's a great story.
There's a cowboy.
What was his name?
Randolph Scott.
And they're cooking, and they're swimming in that little house up in the hills.
Uh-huh.
Really?
Yeah.
See, I just think it's not—
I don't believe—, I don't believe,
but I don't believe this.
Do you believe in this
when it's like,
there's guys that make this joke
that's like,
oh, you get laid so much,
you have so many chicks
and then you just switch to guys?
Well, let's ask an expert.
Come on, man.
What happened?
Did you ever want to switch?
No.
I understand it.
See, I don't buy it.
You do, I don't buy it.
I understand it.
I understand it.
Because you just get bored, right?
At a certain point,
you'd be like.
No. No. I mean, never in a million, Because you just get bored, right? At a certain point, you'd be like...
No.
I mean, never in a million... I would never get bored of it.
But I know somebody,
and I'm not going to say who,
who I think is who you're talking about.
We have to guess.
It has that characteristic.
We have to say it,
and we'll say it on three.
I'm knocking one, two, three.
Will Smith.
Andrew Santino.
Oh, me?
Oh, my God.
This went awry.
I had no idea.
Before we go too far,
I wanted to say,
I didn't really know him,
but Paul,
Pee Wee Herman was a good guy.
Like a great.
Paul Rubens was a good guy.
People loved him.
I wasn't.
I mean,
I thought he was a genius when I,
I remember watching that movie thinking how talented and funny I think he was.
Cause my mom and I,
like my mom and I will have the same sense of humor and we'll share lines from my childhood films that I loved.
Does she just have an Asian person she walks around with and yells at too?
Yeah, a little fat Asian woman. My mom has a little fat Asian woman.
That would be funny.
She loves, so she'll do, she'll say to me all the time on the phone, obviously
because my name is Andrew, she'll go, Andy! You know from Pee Wee Herman. Andy!
That big truck driver. But she, we loved that movie because you could tell
he was doing almost all of it.
I don't care what was scripted.
He was doing all of it.
You could tell it was him.
Yeah.
I mean, just being like a New Yorker
with a little street smarts watching that show,
I had a suspicion that he at least
jerked off in movie theaters.
Yeah, but that's fine.
I'm okay with that.
I'm fine with that, dude.
If it's a movie theater, that's what it's for.
Alone jerking off in a movie theater. He wasn't at Moana. He was at a porno theater. Yeah, but that's fine. I'm okay with that. I'm fine with that, dude. If it's a movie theater, that's what it's for. Alone jerking off
in a movie theater.
He wasn't at Moana.
He was at a porno theater.
But that was a scandal.
What was that,
the 90s that came out?
That came out in the 90s.
Early 90s, I feel like.
That wouldn't be a scandal now.
And it was a straight one, too.
It wasn't like a gay thing.
It was totally just like...
It was a porno theater.
It was made for...
I don't even understand.
I feel like they should...
If you're not jerking off,
like, this guy's insane.
Get this guy out of here.
That would be the guy
you'd want to watch.
What's wrong with that guy
just sitting there?
He was a psychopath
that came into a porno theater
in a suit
and didn't make a guy
mop up his cum.
By the way,
is there a worse job than that?
The guy that comes out
with the...
The cleanup crew?
Yeah, the cleanup crew.
Yeah.
What's the worst job
you ever had?
I think that might be it.
You had that job?
No, yeah.
That was my job.
Get out. That was my job.
Like Salt Lake?
Would you go in there and get it up with him? Yeah, it's at Tim Dillon's house, and that's how I make a little side money right now.
Hey, can I tell you guys, first of all, I love you both.
We love you.
I really had such a great time last time I was here with you, Andrew.
Yeah, it was wonderful.
We texted a few times.
It's because of you, I have no more will to make it any farther in this business.
What?
Because just being friends with him, I'm like, I'm friends with Stamos.
No, that's bullshit.
That's it.
I'm done.
I made it to the top.
I'm friends with Santino and Stamos.
I'm good.
I'm fucking good, dude.
All right.
I'm fucking good.
I don't want any more.
I don't want any more of your fucking satanic sex parties.
I want out of this town.
I don't want the traffic.
I don't want the sex.
I ask every podcast person, every smart comic, why is he not bigger?
He is bigger.
And they all say, he will be.
I'm alienating.
Whitney said the best thing.
She said, look, he's a great fucking comic.
The audience will come around and discover him.
Well, let's not listen to that pharmacy, but I do agree with the comments.
But I want to say that.
And then also, comedy, I'm getting ready to do.
What's the name?
I gotta tell you guys off the thing,
but I'm getting ready to do this comedy-themed podcast,
and I never wanted to do a podcast,
but it's not what you guys do,
because you're brilliant,
but it's a study on comedy,
but also, like, the boom now is incredible, right?
Are you guys just cashing it in,
and people just, why?
I think I know why, but talk about it.
Well, I will say this.
I'm doing okay.
I do think the boom is, I'm not, I hate to do this.
Go ahead.
But right before COVID, I've told this story.
I remember it was like another little comedy boom was happening.
And I was like, Jesus Christ.
And Burr walked into the green room of the comedy store.
And I'll never forget.
We're sitting on the couch in the main room, green room.
of the comedy store.
And I'll never forget,
we're sitting on the couch in the main room, green room.
And that night, it was like
Russell Peters,
who always drives really fancy cars.
Martin Lawrence was coming around
with an entourage.
All these big, famous guys
were coming around.
And the parking lot was filled
with really, really fancy cars.
And Burr goes in and he goes,
dude, you seen what's going on in the fucking parking lot and i was like what he goes they're gonna
fucking audit us they're gonna know they're gonna find out that we're scamming everybody
and i remember walking out and seeing like it was like a bentley a ferrari all this stuff because
all these big dudes were driving you know like kevin hart has been there yeah and i thought damn
this is something's gotta got to bubble over.
Comedy's gotten weird because comedians are like rock stars now.
Some of them.
And it kind of runs antithetical to what a comedian is.
Yeah.
So it's kind of weird.
Well, which happened before, right?
Like if you're a fan of the old days too, it's like they made out some of those other
guys to be rock stars.
Like Kinison became rock star-ish.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Like they put him on this like- Yeah. Eddie Murphy came out in like the leather outfits. Rock star. Yeah. do you know what i mean like they they put him on this
like yeah eddie murphy came out like the leather rock star yeah so it happened before too it's just
but what's the look different what's the theory on like once they become so rich stuff they stop
being funny and stop relating to you know i think that's true well the only reason i don't think the
only reason i don't think that's true is you if you surround yourself with people who who keep you
at bay a sandler still funny fuck, and he's got more money
than God, and I've seen him live,
and that dude not only is a good dude,
he's a fucking hysterical dude,
and keeps people around him
that don't blow him all day
and be like, you're the greatest, no, he keeps
friends around. He's working on
a sequel to
his Hanukkah song. Is he really?
It's gonna be different this time, yeah. Is he really? It's going to be different this time.
What is it?
It's like, pull out your harmonica.
Don't hate all of us.
Separate the people from the government.
I mean, dude, on Christmas,
the Chinese restaurants are just empty now.
They're all ordering seamless.
They don't want to go outside.
You can't be seen in them.
Can you get
Duck on Uber Eats?
They're editing their Wikipedia pages
in early life. It's like,
Wasp in German.
I bought CP.
My name used to be Weinstein, now it's Wein.
But I will say this. He's one of those guys.
There's a few guys like him that have got
very, very rich and successful, still extremely talented and funny.
And I do believe that's the key.
His special was so fucking good where he did music.
He made me cry at the end.
The Farley shit made me cry.
And I saw him.
He was so cool to us.
We were in Detroit.
He was playing where the Red Wings play.
We were playing a theater.
And he was like.
Was that with Binder?
Binder was there.
Binder was on that show. And Dave Kouyat showed up. And he was like, that with binder and and binder was binder was there binder was on that show
Yeah, Dave create. Yeah, and he was like come backstage and come hang come watch the show
Yeah, and I just was like this is exactly what I want to be
He came to a Beach Boys one night with his family and I said, what are you doing?
I didn't even know he said we just look we were we always danced to Beach Boys in our kitchen me and my daughter's my
Wife and and we just looked as like when the Beach Boys
Oh, there they are and he just showed up at this thing.
Did you ask him to play with you guys?
I asked him to come sit in, and he, I don't, no he didn't,
but, and I remember I was so embarrassed
because I was running across the stage
trying to do extra shit, and I tripped on a chord
or some shit, and I landed on my guitar,
and I slid all the way across the stage,
and I got up, I'm okay, I'm okay.
And everybody claps.
Me and you do that, it ends our career.
Yeah, no, yeah.
Loser falls face first on stage.
He does it, they're like, John St yeah. Loser falls face first on stage.
He came backstage.
He does it.
They're like, John Stamos slid into fucking rock stardom.
He's like the, you're like the star of that show now.
I mean, I saw you at Carnegie.
Thank you for the tickets.
He was with the bitch boys.
I went with my wife.
One time I called you from stage.
The audience was a little older now, which is fun and interesting.
But not at stagecoach, man.
When the hits came up, like me and my wife were the only ones who could stand up.
Yeah.
That has to be so wheelchair accessible, that show.
It's all ramps.
If you've got bad seats and you want a great view, it's a good concert to go to.
You want to see 80,000 people at Stagecoach the other day.
80,000 at Stagecoach.
It was a religious experience.
It was so beautiful to see an audience realize what I feel about that music.
It was as though that music was written for that moment that day.
And it just lifted.
And you know there's different people from all walks of life there,
but a lot of younger people, cowboys and things.
And it just was like everybody totally united with wouldn't it be nice,
fun, fun, fun, good vibrations, positivity, optimism, Kennedy.
Kennedy, cowboy. That was a good time. It's over. Yeah, it's so far gone. positivity, optimism Kennedy Cowboy House
that was a good time, it's over
the innocent America's over
why do you think
why do you think their music
struck a chord so much, what is that
what do you think it was
I know it's hard to pinpoint it but
when somebody says the Beatles
I go I think I get it because
it was so different and they were so young and they were like talking to young people.
Were the Beach Boys the same way?
Were they talking to young people?
Or what was, why would they, why did they strike a chord so heavily with American people?
The Beatles, you know, you had to think a little bit.
It was really groundbreaking stuff.
Yeah, it's like, is this about LSD?
Is Paul dead?
Right, right, right.
Who's the walrus?
Yeah, who's the walrus?
Now, the Beach Boys, wouldn't it be nice?
Bypasses the brain and goes straight to the heart.
And that's why you see nine-year-olds and nine-year-olds.
That's a beautiful way to say it.
Bypasses the brain, goes right to the heart.
That's not the first time he said that.
Second.
I did say it on-
Let him fucking have it, will you?
You say quotes all the time. I know that wasn't off the head.
You say quotes all the time and I don't give a shit.
You go, from the river to the sea.
You say that all the time.
I'm a-
Well, that's why I'm here.
I'm here for the UCLA program.
You guys are brilliant.
That's where I'm staying, actually.
Yeah, at UCLA.
I'm staying in a tent on the UCLA campus.
I'm at John Wooden Hall.
Let's be real for a second so people understand.
We have to joke about it because it's fucking insane, okay?
Well, it's also our first time.
It's our first time.
It's our first time.
It's our first time.
It's our first time.
It's our first time.
It's our first time. It's our first time. It's our first time. It's Wooden Hall. Let's be real for a second so people understand.
We have to joke about it
because it's fucking insane.
Well, it's also our jar of broken.
Sorry we have to joke about it.
In here, we pour whiskey.
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Ginger.
I like gingers.
Yeah, but here's part of the comedy.
Back to what people are feeling stadiums for you guys is that I think people are tired of the woke stuff,
right? I mean, people are tired of being so PC. I just think people are tired of being told of
what they should like. I feel, I feel like that's the, the, the, the version that I really buy into
because the, the, like the woke or whatever the cancel, whatever you want to call it. I don't
really buy into that as much as I buy into people don't want to be told what to like, right? That's
it. They just want to like what they like and not be afraid of liking
stuff. And the same people that like
us may not like someone
else. Some people might be like,
I can't stand the way that they do comedy or you do this.
That's fine. But
you shouldn't be
afraid to like what you like.
By the way, the irony... That's a great
way to put it. Well, the irony of it is staggering.
They want you to not be upset at their lifestyle choices, and you're like, I'm not.
Then you can't get mad at other people for liking shit that you don't like.
I don't give a fuck if you paint your nails.
I don't care what kind of lifestyle you live.
Just don't bring it into your home.
Just don't live on my block.
Yeah, just keep it out of my neighborhood.
No, but don't get mad when other people don't like the things that you like.
That's fine.
You can't shut it down.
Just let it exist without you.
Right, right, right.
Getting back to the Beatles, let it be.
Yeah, let it be.
But, you know, that's why you'll never see me say anything political.
You should do this.
You should vote for this person.
In public, but in private, you should hear what this guy's got.
No, but, yeah.
It's unbelievable.
At a dinner party with him?
You came here and unloaded.
That's the thing.
People don't want to hear celebrities telling them anything.
You're right.
Except for something fun or anecdotal.
That's right.
And that's okay.
They want to hear you go, you know what they want to hear?
They want to hear you have an exchange about Adam Sandler coming to see you in the Beast
but that's delightful and fun.
Well, because also I don't want to hear, look, I said this the other day to a friend of mine.
This is interesting.
My parents are very good, one of our best friends, their son and I are best friends.
And his parents were more traditionally further left.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And my parents were not that far left.
And they got along our whole lives and never-
Were your parents Democrats?
No.
I would say my parents were closer to being conservative, if anything.
Remember January 6th?
Yeah.
That was my dad. The guy with the bullhorn?
That was my father. No, no, no, they organized it.
They were a little higher ranks than that guy.
Well, our company organized it, yeah.
That was red hair and not blood.
It was called the Red Herring Organization.
No, but back then it wasn't a big deal.
You didn't heed on other people's shit.
If you were a Democrat and they were Republican,
you still had dinner together.
Now it's like, you fuck that.
I think my dad switched from Republican to Democrat
like 18 times.
Oh, really?
Yeah, because he had his own business.
He didn't, he was like, I don't know,
whatever is better for this networking party.
What's going to save me money?
Yeah, he was, you know, he had his own private practice.
And you didn't judge, you didn't filter your friends
based on their politics back then at all that generation
didn't do that at all no no it's it's different now because it's very party stand well it's
divided it's doing something to our business for sure i think that's a big there's there's
what they've let the business be overtaken by political ideologies infusing themselves
into the business when we could have just we could just make fun, stupid shit and not care.
But I'm so sick of hearing woke.
I'm so sick of wokeness.
I'm sick of the anti-woke now.
No, I'm more annoyed by anti-woke.
Yeah, anti-woke is, I'm just, yeah.
Who started that woke?
The word woke?
Yeah.
It was a black word originally, like stay woke.
Another thing we stole.
Yeah, that's for sure. We gentrified even their language. Oh, no, that's for sure. The word woke? Yeah. It was a black word originally, like stay woke. Another thing we stole. Yeah.
Yeah, that's for sure.
We gentrified even their language.
Oh, no, that's for sure.
No, no, no.
Black people are so cool that not only we steal all that, then people started stealing
their struggle.
Right.
They're just like, I'm South Asian.
I'm only the star of a movie.
There's a cartoon that hurts my feelings.
You're like, oh, yeah. Oh, I know what's going on here. They're stealing their struggle my feelings You're like oh yeah I know what's going on here
They're still in their struggle too
I see what's going on
I see you wearing those fly Jordans
And now also slavery for you
Oh there was a cartoon that hurt my feelings
I know it was just like slavery
I think it was a little bit of that too
It was
Now it's like everyone Just had that too. Yeah. You know? It was. It's like now we're, now it's like everyone was like, just had the black struggle.
It's like, you know?
Yeah.
Well, you in particular though.
Me in particular, I've had a tough struggle.
Yeah.
You got beat as a kid or no?
A little bit.
Yeah.
Did you get beat as a kid?
Is that a Greek thing?
No.
He had a fucking beautiful childhood.
His parents were beautiful.
There's nothing wrong with them.
Oh, people are my parents.
No, no, no.
He was born with talent and a face.
But do Greeks beat their kids?
And he's a rock star and he's funny and he can act.
I mean, something's wrong.
What is it? Do you at least have a fungal
infection? Is there anything negative
about your living? I have a fucked up belly button
and then I got it fixed and now I don't have one.
Was it an Audi, I mean?
You had an Audi and you got it pushed in?
That's the most controversial Hollywood surgery of all time.
You meet Stamos and you think
it's got to be
a dark side.
I haven't seen it yet.
Well, I'm sure.
He made videos for my cousin who's unfortunately ill.
He's helped her get.
He just is a nice guy too on top.
We're going to find out. Isn't that fucking infuriating?
Well, if we keep poking at it, we'll find out what it is.
There's got to be something.
You're poking the bear.
You might have sunspots on your penis or something like that.
No, I'll show you.
Right?
This room in here, this podcast room is as cold as that fucking court where Trump is.
Is it too cold?
We'll turn off the air.
Hey, Coney!
It's fine.
Cone!
No, you know what?
I want him...
You want the temp...
Hey, slave boy!
Change the temp in here!
McCone!
Before this hot-headed fucking Italian Mick really gets mad at you.
What's your boy's name again? I don't remember. I call him Boy.
Hey, Boy! What's his name?
I don't remember it. I don't know his
name. Will you turn off? He's open for me.
Push on that. Where did McCone go? Did he leave?
What was your name again? Push on it. Click it.
Push it. You never operated one of these things?
Your name's Boy, right? No, no, no. Push it.
And then go to the far left.
Turn the dial. Where's Bobby Lee? And don't look at Stamos in the eye. Keep going. It's Sir, no, no. Push it. And then go to the far left. Turn the dial.
Where's Bobby Lee?
And don't look at Stamos in the eye.
Keep going.
It's Sir Stamos.
One more.
One more.
Now push the middle again.
You could look at me.
Now scroll down to off.
What's your name?
You see it?
Off?
Yeah!
We did it.
Wait, what's your name?
Christian.
Christian, okay.
Rachel Feinstein's calling me.
Please don't tell anyone.
Yeah, yeah, answer.
Her new name is Rachel Lawrence.
She edited her Wikipedia. Did she really? No, I'm just probably... She wanted to get away from Feinstein is calling me. Please don't tell anyone. Yeah, answer. Her new name is Rachel Lawrence. She edited her Wikipedia.
Did she really?
No, I'm just probably.
She wanted to get away from Feinstein?
Yeah.
Because Diane?
Well, they're just scared.
I mean, you know, I understand, dude.
You go on X and you're like, Jesus Christ, there's a Nazi rally on there.
On what?
On X.
Oh, on Twitter.
Where the truth reigns on X.
That's insane.
I have zero interest in X.
Do you like Elon?
Zero interest in that. Or do you like NWO Elon? I like NWA more than anything. I have zero interest in X. Do you like Elon? Zero interest in that.
Or do you like NWO Elon?
I like NWA more than anything.
I like NWA Elon.
Yeah, yeah.
Because he kind of went from Hulk Hogan to Hollywood Hogan a little bit, didn't he?
Yeah, 100%.
He switched.
Maybe he's becoming a heel on purpose.
It is funny to see all these rich guys flop like that.
Zuckerberg now is into MMA hardcore.
I couldn't see anybody less interesting in my life than gets into something like that. And you're like, really? You like that. Like Zuckerberg now is into MMA hardcore. I couldn't see anybody less interesting in my life
than gets into something like that. And you're like, really?
You like that? He's into MMA, but he's still got that
same voice. So I heard him talking about it.
I can't wait to see some of the submissions that happen this evening.
The card's going to be really great.
It's the weirdest shit to watch. Andrew has good voices.
Oh, he's great.
Those guys that get that whole
the transitionary period that's happening for people like Elon
now is full trying to take on controversy because I think it's
interesting to him yeah he thinks it's fun oh yeah he thinks it's fun I think
he's like a bored bored he's bored yeah he's bored out of his mind and he's and
he's still not fucking guys see you're bored but he's still not doing a good
point yeah yeah I found really some I think it was Bogart was so fucking smart
that he would pick fights with people
because that would stimulate his...
Humphrey Bogart would just want to try to test somebody's
patience? Yeah.
That's kind of fun. You do that sometimes. I do that.
Because you're very smart. Smart people do that.
Intelligent people like to pick fights because they know
that they can beat you. You've been so funny
on your Patreon. Is that what it's called?
Yeah. I listen to it all the time. Thank you.
I'm proud of those.
Patreon.com slash Janice Papasauer.
Patreon.com slash Janice Papasauer.
Is he one of the smartest comics out there, though?
Seriously.
Most definitely.
I would say that smartest comic, he's easily one of the most intellectual comedians that
exists.
Not on stage, but in his podcast.
Or off stage, but in his heart.
In his heart.
In his room at night.
When he colors.
When his kids go to bed and he colors.
I got two daughters.
No, I would say you are.
I think it's more interesting to think about who the dumbest comics on Earth are.
I think it's great for us to compliment.
Christian, he closed it.
Thank you.
His name's Boy.
It's great to compliment each other on this podcast.
Just for the internet to just light up.
Yeah.
Jonas ain't smart for shit.
Fuck that.
Dummy.
Yeah.
Let me ask you then.
When you shot TV, were you always this energetic and upbeat and alive?
By now, I'm focused.
But that's so funny because when I'm on set for hours and I become a sloth, it's so hard
for me to keep the energy up.
Do you burn out?
Sometimes it's good because early know early on I was trying
to do so much
because I thought
I needed to do all this
to be interesting
but when I really
just go like
don't move John Stamos
just listen boom
that's where I
I think where I'm
that's the most settled
you've ever
when you think
do you refer yourself
as John Stamos
because you just
referred to yourself
as John Stamos
and I fucking dug it
and that's the way
I always thought it goes
if I was John Stamos
I'd be like what does John Stamos want to do today?
Some actors
come out of the gate and they're fucking brilliant.
Right?
DiCaprio, Jennifer Lawrence
and some it takes 25 years and I think
that's... Clooney? Is he a 25
year guy? Right? He was in it for a long
time before he got famous. What do you think about you?
What do you think about you as far as drama acting?
Do you think it took a long time or do you think you got that. What do you think about you? What do you think about you as far as drama acting? Do you think it took a long time
or do you think you got that right?
Because you were comedic and you're like
you have a comedic energy, right? Full House was comedic.
You have a musical energy.
He's winking. I love it.
Can you do like a Darren Aronofsky
movie right now? I would love it.
I would love to. I fought all that shit
so much. Why?
After Full House. Because it's like
I'm not that mullet headed
And I went to do theater
I did a bunch of Broadway
I did some
I did ER for four years ago
But when I
I went to
I was doing
The Best Man
With James Earl Jones
Yeah
On Broadway
It was a Gore Vidal
Political show
It could work great right now
Four hours
Something like three and a half hours
And it was the last day
and we're walking across the stage.
This is James.
I came close to him.
I called him Big Daddy.
And you said,
do the Darth Vader voice
just once for me.
Well, that's it.
Well, that was it.
I said to him,
I go,
you've done something
that no one has done.
You've given me real legitimacy.
I'm a real actor up here.
I got to be toe to toe
with you folks.
And I thank you
and I love you for that.
And the stage door opens
and Uncle Jesse
Uncle Jesse
say have mercy
and I turn red
and I couldn't even
look at him
he's standing there
and then all of a sudden
I hear
James say Luke
I am your father
and I just looked at him
and he looked at me
and he just had that
big belly laugh
and I said fuck it
fuck it
call me Uncle Jesse
call me you know
whatever you want to do
you owned it
you had that same call
with me
that's so beautiful, though.
Because that is so true.
But you aren't just that, but that is a piece of you.
And when people think they want to erase it, well, it's like, why?
That's going to be, you know, it's like, yeah, it's not what you want to be you all the time, but it does exist.
It's fine.
And you know what?
It is what it is.
It's made a beautiful life for me and my family.
Yeah.
And I love getting recognized.
I love being famous, and that's a big part of it.
You deserve it, though.
That's why.
I got to do all the—I mean, ER was a heavy-duty show.
I did that for four years, worked with some of the best actors in town.
I've done Broadway.
I've done—I just did a show.
It hasn't been announced yet, but there's some real—
Announce it, baby.
What's that? Come on, announce it on the real- Announce it, baby. What's that?
Come on, announce it on the show.
Announce it on the show.
Come on, let's make this big.
When is it air?
Whenever you want it to air.
Yeah.
Couple of weeks.
Come on, go for it.
Anyway, well, I was working with some fine, fine actors, and it was great.
The legitimacy thing is very interesting when you say that.
When somebody goes, oh, I want to be taken serious as an actor.
I've met so many people who, because they played a character or a role on a thing they have an assumption
that America doesn't take them serious but everyone who works with you does
that's what's that's what's hard about it's hard to translate that to people
that you're like no man they just played a character like I love when somebody
goes that guy seems like a dick and it's like how do you know and they go the
show I watch him on it's like that was a fucking thing he was doing yeah he was
playing a thing.
Well you said that to me.
You were like, I feel like a real actor.
I called you up and I was like,
how do you, you're like, I feel like a real actor.
And I'm like, John Cena.
It was me and John Cena.
And I was like, that's my Brando.
You said that to me.
You said that's my Brando.
But he's a wrestler.
No, no, Santino said the same thing.
John Cena had a moment, he goes, you know what?
He was like, that scene, a tear came to my eye. And then Santino calls me, he goes, fucking my acting hero, John Cena had a moment he goes you know what he was like that scene a tear came to my eye
and then Santino calls me
he goes
my acting hero
John Cena
just called me up
and told me that
I moved him in a scene
and I feel legitimate now
and I said
and I said
I said
stop it right now
I want to hear
I'm Bobby's mom right now
do my
I'm Bobby's mom
I'm Bobby's mom
and then that was
that's it
I hung up the phone
that's your thing now
do people go up and go
do Bobby's mom people do that yeah well I hear it a lot at the airports.
I'm going to go, Bobby mom. It's got like a 300 million views. It's insane. I'll hear
that at the airport a lot, which by the way, I laugh it off. It makes me, or I'll go, that's
right, buddy. Like it'll be with my wife somewhere. I'm like, yeah, that's right, buddy. I have
to take it. That's my uncle Jesse. He's got to take it. I'm Bobby's mom. I don't, it doesn't
bother me. It's funny. It hurts.
Like, you're going to maybe have an injury from that because you've got to cross-eyed
to do it.
No, no.
I do it at night.
I get in front of the mirror and I train.
I like how you say Cena is my Brando.
That's like one of the funniest things on there.
Yeah, Cena was your Brando.
Yeah, and then when you called me, you know, I was like, that was like your moment that
he had with James Earl Jones and yours was Cena.
Same thing.
James Earl Cena.
John's the fucker.
By the way, for the very serious record,
one of the fucking nicest, coolest dudes I've ever worked with.
And I've worked with a lot of fucking guys that are big shots.
That guy is fucking no joke.
The transition you've made is pretty remarkable.
Well, I'm not done.
I'm halfway through, but as soon as my voice drops, it'll be full.
The boobs.
Oh, yeah, well, I'm not going to get my tits done yet.
Why?
I just don't know.
I don't know.
Giannis actually told me I look better with small little titties like I've got right now.
I've never been a tick.
I've never been a tick gal.
You've made a transition into acting pretty smooth, man.
I tried.
I mean, you know, look, it's, I'm, um.
You're good, but you're really good.
Well, I love you.
Thank you.
He's good at everything.
He's a good actor.
Oh, I thought about this the other day.
Honestly, I was driving past.
Down to earth guy.
No, I'm up above.
Yeah, no. I was expecting. I haven't seen you since your numbers have boop, boop, boop,, I thought about this the other day. Honestly, I was driving past. Down to earth guy. No, I'm up above. Yeah, no.
I was expecting.
I haven't seen you since your numbers have boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
Shut up.
Same fucking guy when I walked in.
As long as you and I have been friends, nothing will change.
Yeah, same guy.
I always check for that, too.
I'm like, same guy.
No.
Because sometimes you've got to give your friends a little space when they really pop.
No.
You've got to adjust, you know?
I'm the same loser.
Yeah.
I was driving past Paramount the other day and I thought um it really was interesting because a guy at the comedy show at the comedy store said uh
he goes uh I put I was talking to a kid in the audience a really good looking kid
and he said he moved here from England to be a writer and I was just improvving this bit about
how England only sends over good looking people like there's almost no like I there is a lot of
ugly people in England I'm sure but we don't get any over here when they come to LA.
It's like they hand select pretty Brits.
Yeah.
But,
but for the most part,
the real,
like the bald headed football hooligans are like,
Hey,
beans on toast.
Like that guy's never here.
They don't send him here.
Amsterdam gets a lot of those guys.
Oh yeah.
That's where they go.
For hookers.
Yeah.
For hookers.
Yeah.
But I said,
they send over this good looking young guy and he's like,
uh,
I said,
write me in something then if you're a writer.
And he said, I'd love to, but you're probably busy.
And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm so busy.
I'm at the fucking improv at a 713 show.
And it made me think when I drove past Paramount, I thought, man, I haven't gotten a fucking audition.
I haven't gotten a call in a while.
And I think people think because you did one thing that you're just getting flooded with shit.
But it's like, no, dude, there's huge gaps of like we're it's nothing there's just
No comes when it comes when you don't when you're not trying to grab it
That's why you just got to sit and let it happen
But it is a fucking weird fickle business where I just can come off of doing a fucking testicles. You don't like it
No, I mean, where'd you get these off the fucking madman?
1976 yeah, these are actually originally vintage chairs.
Was everyone just uncomfortable in the 50s?
You know who didn't complain about these?
John Stammer.
John Stammer.
Not once.
He's in a much more uncomfortable seat than I am.
Yeah, by far.
Well, no, actually, that's more comfortable.
I mean, were they just uncomfortable in the 50s?
They had to sit in these suits?
This is uncomfortable to you?
I'm very uncomfortable.
What is it?
It's the back.
Oh, you have a bad back.
No, I don't have a bad back.
I have a bad back.
I have a bad personality.
Yeah, you do.
And that's why I'm not huge.
Your story is so fascinating
with your mom
and your brothers.
She was a borderline personality.
You got shot.
Did you talk about all that stuff?
I had trauma.
Yeah.
I was left alone
with my brain injured brother.
That's where the trauma started.
I'm learning all this in therapy.
How much therapy?
Are you going to therapy weekly?
I'm on a spiritual journey right now.
You do weekly?
Weekly,
yeah.
Do you do a woman therapist?
Woman,
you got to go woman. See, that's interesting. I've done both spiritual journey right now. You do weekly? Weekly, yeah. Do you do a woman therapist? Woman. You got to go woman.
See, that's interesting.
I've done both.
I've had both.
And sometimes I like the man more because I feel like he is judging me.
Even though that's not supposed to, it's nice.
I can feel the judgment pouring out of another man.
You know?
I think it's probably the therapist you prefer is probably based on what your issue is.
What your issue is.
And yours is with your mom. Mother issues your mom. And mine's with my papa.
Who's yours with? I have two. I have a backup. I have a spare.
Who's your childhood issue with, if any?
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Ginger. I like gingers
was there one bully
that fucking really got
to John Stamos
yeah you read my book
I mean we talked about it
I know but
I know but what's his name
call him out again
I want to see a fucking
death match between you
and Rob Lowe to the death
he's dead isn't he
I thought he died
is he dead
is Rob Lowe dead
that's not nice
that's so mean
that's so mean That's so mean
We're kidding
Knock on wood
Knock on wood
We tease each other
Because people always say
Hey Rob
You know
Yeah yeah
Or his kid always posts pictures of him
But it puts my face
You look nothing like fucking Rob Lowe
No but it's
You just both are beautiful
Well what
Because you're both good looking
Black hair
Yeah like
They're both very good looking
Well that's kind of like
Do you remember
I saw a picture
Someone did side by sides
Of celebrities from then and now
and it was so creepy
because Margot Robbie
does look shockingly,
shockingly like,
was it Jamie Presley?
Is that her name?
Yes.
Dude,
they look identical.
They put them side-by-side.
It was like,
holy fuck.
And they did this
to a lot of celebrities
where they were like,
you don't even realize
how close they look
even though
it's just generationally.
It's just fodder
for conspiracy people.
They're cloning people.
Well, I hope they are.
I've heard
conspiracies
that Chappelle's
cloned now,
that that's not
the real Chappelle.
Well, that's also true.
I mean, it's funny.
That's true, right?
Because I've seen his real,
the real Chappelle
is in France,
which is crazy.
Did you see the one
with Giannis and Urkel
side by side?
Side by side, yeah.
No, my nickname from my previous podcast was Special Needs Stamos.
Because people do, sometimes on a good hair day, people are like, you look a little like Stamos.
But if a chromosome was missing, I look nothing like him.
It's just Greek.
I get it sometimes.
Nope, not even a little bit.
You look like a cartoon of a Greek guy that came to life.
I do have kind of a cartoonish face, right?
My face is off.
Your eyes and your nose look like they drew it.
Here's a funny thing. This is a true story.
This is true. I'm not even making this up.
This is true. I'm not even making this up.
This is true. I wish it was...
So you know Clear, right?
You know Clear at the airport?
Sometimes you go, which line am I going to go pre-check?
So I went, when I was coming to LA, I go on the clear.
My eyes never work on the clear.
I wish I was making this up.
They don't make up.
They look like they don't work on the clear.
I get in, I get in, I get closer, and they keep doing it.
And I just go, this never works.
So the guy goes, hey, he he goes do the fingers the fingers work
immediately and then he fixes it he
he redoes my face he's like we'll take care of this
now so he re-photos
my face do it again he's like alright
I think we got it now he's like alright try it now
take the glass off I went in there and it
just I think they're too close
together and the lasers can't separate
so it just does
it goes not identified it just my eyes are so close the lasers can't separate. So it just does it. It goes not identified.
It just my eyes are so close.
The lasers can't separate.
That's what I'm doing.
I do.
You know, you can do eyes, fingers or tongue.
I do tongue now.
You put the tongue on there.
Well, you kiss one of the TSA agents and they go.
Yeah, they let you right on the fucking thing.
I don't do the clear thing anymore because I don't like that.
I don't know who runs that.
Is this a joke?
Are you guys doing?
No, that's a third party company. I don't understand. I don't like that. You't know who runs that. Is this a joke? Are you guys doing a joke? No, that's a third-party company.
I don't understand.
I don't like that.
You're one of those?
I don't care, dude.
What do you mean?
I don't give my DNA to 23andMe.
I don't talk to blacks.
Of course I don't give my DNA to the fucking...
I don't talk to blacks because I don't know about what's going on.
Oh, I don't know what they're up to.
No, I don't give my fucking DNA away to people.
I don't give a shit, dude.
I don't care either.
I haven't done anything wrong. You don't send your DNA in, John Stamos, to 23andMe. Do whatever you want give my fucking DNA away to people. I don't give a shit. I don't care either. I haven't done anything wrong.
You don't send your DNA in, John Stamos, to 23andMe.
Do whatever you want with my fucking DNA.
I did that show where they traced your ancestry and I went back to Greece.
So they drew your blood and did it?
No.
I spit it in something.
Oh, the same thing.
Guys.
But I don't know.
I never got the results.
What's the name of that show?
This Is Your Life?
No, it was called Who Do You Think You Are?
But isn't that the exact same thing?
Remember This Is Your Life, right?
No, I flew to Greece and I was waiting for the...
What did they find out?
I know.
Well, you wait for the punchline.
Like, oh, your relatives were slaves or whatever.
And so you're like, is this it?
Is this where I'm supposed to cry?
Like, I never knew when it was.
What was the big secret?
Well, my great-grandfather got shot in this little town that they lived in.
And by a guy who...
My grandfather was named after John.
So I was named after this killer
who killed my great-grandfather.
There was a Koliopoulos family,
a Stamatopoulos family.
And we're walking through the village
and a cousin happened to still live there.
And I said, the Koliopoulos, they still live?
Oh, shh.
Still like a vendetta there.
Really?
Now, do you feel like, do any Greeks ever-
Six generations later, that's fucking wild.
Do you feel like a Greek sellout
Because you cut your name?
My grandfather cut it out
Oh he cut it first
Stamatopoulos
What's yours again?
Mine originally was Pipis
Which means little boy penis
And I don't know
That's true too
I know that's not true
And that's so annoying
Because it got me
It's so true
It's not little boy penis
It is true
I was in Greece
It is true
My original name
And my dad's penis was very small.
But my grandfather changed it to Pappas when he got to Ellis Island.
And yours was Stamatopoulos?
Stamatopoulos.
Stamatopoulos.
Well, this is a weird mystery.
I've told you.
I think I told you this.
My last name, Santino.
Santino is traditionally a first name in Italy.
Yeah.
Sonny.
Sonny from the godfather is Santino.
Yeah.
Corleone.
He died.
We don't know
what my real last name was.
Spitting a tube.
Spitting a tube.
Yeah.
I know I might.
No, you don't do that.
You don't give your DNA.
I don't want to.
Why?
But I'm interested
because we don't think...
The rumor was
my great-grandfather
changed the fucking name
because of something to get into the country and just
said his name was Santino but I jokingly on stage I'm always like that's because he was so I come
from such dumbos that surname he thought it was like sir name and so Santino yeah like a fucking
idiot but I don't know what I don't think we know what our lineage really is so I'm curious I mean
I know we're from I've said this before we're from a part of Sicily called, well, yeah, Sicily.
But Irish too?
We're part of Sicily called, I thought it was Cacamo. That's what I had heard. So then I go
to Sicily and I said to a guy, we're on the Western coast of Sicily. And I said, excuse me,
you know, do you know where, where's Cacamo? And he goes, Cacamo, no, no, no, Cacamo, no, no, no,
Cacamo. And he's talking to somebody else. And the other guy's like. No, no, no. Kachamo. No, no, no. Kachamo. And he's talking to somebody else.
And the other guy's like, no, no, no.
Kachamo.
No, no.
And then he goes, oh, oh.
Oh, yeah.
Si, si.
Kakamo.
Kakamo.
Nokache.
Kak.
Kakamo.
Kakamo.
I was like, I think I'm going to go home with Kach.
I'll stick with Kach.
Now, did you have any Ottoman in there?
Did you have any Anatolian, any Turkish in there in your DNA?
You know, I did the spit thing but they never gave me the results to it.
Yeah, they're probably scared to tell you the truth. I think so. I have a lot.
You were an Ottoman kid? Oh yeah, you told me that. That's why you hate yourself.
33%. But that's the eyes. They had to be ready for battle. They had to look forward all the time.
Yeah. You're a prey then, right? Yeah. Well, yeah, because my dad was...
No, but I mean your eyes are close together.
Yes.
Predators could get you in the eye.
Right?
Isn't that how that works in the fish world?
That's what it is.
I can't...
No, I'm predator because predators look forward.
Predator, yeah.
The prey has the...
Because they're always looking out for...
Predators are always focused forward.
Prey is always on the fucking...
That's why, like, what do they call those?
That's why I'm not allowed to be in...
Those fish that have the eyes
on the side of their fucking head.
So we're praying.
Well, at least that's
what the legal documents say.
I'm not allowed to be around schools.
Can you make that joke anymore?
You did?
Yeah, I did.
When you say schools,
you mean community colleges, though.
I mean, yeah.
That's because they're afraid
of your intellect.
They are.
Get this too smart guy off here.
What kind of stuff
are you guys working on?
Right now?
I'm doing a new hour.
I'm fishing through a new hour.
A lot of it's about my dad.
Oh, you did a lot of stuff
about your dad.
Yeah, but a lot of stuff
is about,
this is about my dad's,
this is a lot of stuff
about my parents
are older and retired now
and they're settling
into the ways of their life
and I'm watching it happen
so quickly.
Yeah, it's weird. It's just because we're getting older and I see them getting older and now they're just happen so quickly. Yeah, it's weird.
It's just because we're getting older,
and I see them getting older,
and now they're just getting so settled in their ways.
I think you should recommend QAnon to old people
because it's fun for them.
Q is for the elderly.
Yeah, I think it's more like,
I think I can see it being like a prescription for old age.
Does it give them something to do?
Because it's fun.
You get into a new adventure.
QAnon has all these theories,
you know, and it's fun.
I have a joke in this hour
that I don't care what I'll give,
but it's just a piece of it.
But I say, like, my dad sits around all day.
He loves ancient aliens.
Like, he fucking...
I'm serious.
He's obsessed.
And I said, my dad loves ancient aliens,
which is ironic because he hates illegal aliens.
And I said, dad, they both built the pyramids.
You can't pick and choose between who gets what but i joke about my dad's his investments now are like
very specific it's really weird where he used to be kind of more he was just a dad he was like i
don't know me i now he like loves he's like obsessed with stuff he's getting really into
stuff which is where q starts yeah this is where it starts that's the he's in the gateway right
he's right at the door.
He's doing this.
Yeah, yeah.
Looking inside.
That's the marijuana of conspiracies is aliens, and then you graduate.
Ancient aliens is the weed of conspiracy theories.
Let me ask you this.
The pyramids.
Nobody knows who built them.
Is it possible it was like six time-traveling Mexicans?
Five.
Maybe five could have done it.
Yeah, five.
Nobody can figure it out.
Six time-traveling Mexicans in one small car in a two-seater.
That's all it took.
I think that's-
In a DeLorean.
That's a viable explanation.
Well, Aphrodite said not tonight, I'm on my pyramid.
Have you ever seen fucking-
Aphrodite said what?
Not tonight, I'm on my pyramid.
That's right.
Dude, I'm putting an addition on the house right now.
Did you miss this great fun joke?
We did a two-seat DeLorean with six Mexicans in there time-traveling?
Yeah, it's great.
Come on, man.
Let's go.
Let's fucking go, baby. Take me back to 1985 1985 that's not when the pyramids were probably put it up in
a week I think they went back and put it up in a fucking week you should see they just built a new
thing in my house it's fucking I've never seen anything like it dude I'm putting an addition on
my house right now my property looks like the Rio Grande I mean it looks like the fucking border
there's Mexicans all over the place. It's just crazy. You
go to the bathroom, you come back, and then
it's like done. But it didn't need
to be like that, right? It took forever to get
one little thing done. The pyramids, I think,
the pyramids, quite frankly, were probably built
by another entity. Yeah, there's no doubt.
Humans couldn't have built it. Is that what you call
time-traveling Mexicans?
I'm telling you, it was time-traveling
Mexicans. It had to have been something. I'm telling telling you that's what it was. I watched a whole documentary about
how they would move stone with water, right? There was a guy who did a
physics thing about how you could shift water with... shift stone with water. This is
another one of Rogan's stuff. Loves the pyramids. Yeah. Oh, he big? Oh, dude, he's big on the pyramids, grizzly bears.
Perfectly aligned to True North and all that shit. Yeah, dude. If the pyramids or the grizzly
bears come up
you're bombing
on his episode
I'll tell you what
I'm more interested in
how about this
I'm more interested in
who builds bridges
when you see the history
of any of those bridges
like New York
and all that shit
the amount of guys
that went down there
and died
it's just Irish guys
at that point
it was just Irish guys
my people
and they
yeah the wasps
just like
you guys were expendable
go get to the bottom
next stop
alright I'll fucking
well if there is a potato down there,
I guess I'll go down.
I'll fucking go.
Yeah, it was just,
that was like the working class.
They were just,
they'd boat them in.
Another crop would fall off into the water.
They'd boat in another crop.
Have you ever seen those signs,
Irish need not apply?
Have you ever seen that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In my house.
We used to have one at my grandma's.
Irish need not apply.
They used to put that outside of storefronts in New York.
You don't know about this?
How do you feel about the Irish?
I'm half Irish.
My mother was Irish.
That's why when we kiss, I can feel it.
My wife is half Irish, too.
Is she?
So my kid is more Irish.
Your wife's Asian and Irish?
Filipino and Irish.
Dude, you mix Asian with anything.
Asian and Irish is stunning
yeah she is
you seen his wife
so she's like
she's beautiful
I love your dumb
I'm trying to do
an accent of a
Filipino Irish person
it's almost impossible
yeah but still
but you gotta get
the Irish in there
somehow
I thought Joe Coy
did good
he was just
too meek right
did you guys
here's the thing
with that I thought he did good at the Oscars we don't deserve to you guys... Here's the thing with that.
I thought he did good at the Oscars.
We don't deserve to host anything ever again, by the way.
And that's not Joe Coey's fault.
Why do you want us?
Why do you want us?
You don't want us.
They should just get a fucking AI screen up there.
I think Jimmy Kimmel should host all those.
Nobody...
No, I don't think anybody should.
He does it perfectly.
He goes in there, right?
He doesn't kiss up.
He doesn't go...
It's just a perfect delivery.
Yeah, but he... See, the thing between... The problem with what happened with Joe was that everyone in there, right, he doesn't kiss up, he doesn't go, it's just a perfect delivery. Yeah, but he, see, the thing between,
the problem with what happened with Joe was that
everyone in the audience goes, who's this fucking
guy making fun of us? Like, if Jeff Ross hosted
that, it would have been great. Yeah, but they needed, he was fine.
Joe needed to ingracy himself a little bit, that was tough, but it's
also, what a fucking hard gig to even walk in.
I think he should have went harder. No, I think
it was the opposite. Really? I think he was
like, kind of like,
like,
it's like, come on, dude it. Well, you can never comment.
Oh, Ali, another Asian.
It's like, come on, dude.
No, but he can't go in too hard.
We're not there anymore.
No, but they don't know him.
I think John's right.
They don't know him.
It's too hard.
That's too hard to...
Dude, you know what that's like?
He let down Filipinos.
He let down Filipinos.
He'll be fine.
Did that hurt his...
No, no, no.
He's fine.
I think Filipinos...
Joe Poi is so fucking fine.
He's funny and he's...
That's a hiccup that no one
will care about or remember in a couple years. And I don't even... I watched it. I didn't and he's got it That's a hiccup that no one will care about or remember in a couple years
So what I don't even I watch it. I even think it was that big of a hiccup
I thought the jokes were fine and I like him as a guy
So I was like this doesn't bother me even a little bit
But people just I think people like we were saying before
People are wanting to get up to want to be fucking annoyed by something
It gives them something to say Monday morning to their friends at the fucking office
Well, if they have anger to which a lot of lot of people do, where do we funnel it?
I need to funnel it.
Yeah, how does it, where does it go?
Did you guys watch the correspondence there?
No.
No.
I thought it was really, I mean, I watched it.
Who did it this year?
Jost.
Oh, Colin did it?
Oh, he's a fucking phenomenal writer.
Did he get lit up in the fucking comments?
Was that?
Oh, God.
He got hammered, right?
He got hammered.
I love Jost.
I think he's a fucking great writer.
He's like, I love, but my father said I voted for Joe because he's a decent man in the fucking
comments.
That's bullshit.
I thought his thing was beautiful.
I'm staying out of it.
I'm apolitical.
I'm going on a new mission.
I'm not saying anything polarizing.
My boy, Matt.
Have you guys met Matt Friend?
You did, right?
I know.
Yeah, no, I know him.
Yeah.
Did he come?
Did he do this?
No, no, no.
I met him.
You did, too. I know Matt. He's an impressionist and, no, no. I met him. You did too?
I know Matt.
He's an impressionist
and stuff.
He's great.
That guy's fucking incredible.
He's blowing up.
He's great.
His stern is like perfect.
It's spot on.
I got him on that show.
You got him on stern?
Yeah.
I sort of,
you know,
not,
he'll call me
seven times a day.
Can you get him on?
He does impersonations too.
Let's hear.
He can do Burr.
You did a good,
Bobby's mom. He can do Bobby's mom. He'll do Bobby's mom. I'm Bobby's mom. That's hear. He could do Burr. He did a good Bobby's mom.
He could do Bobby's mom.
He'll do Bobby's mom.
I'm Bobby's mom.
That's good.
Don't steal my shit, dude.
This is all I've got.
He doesn't have to do anything with his eyes.
Are you really close with Stern?
Yeah, I don't have to.
That was a good one.
Don't let fucking Stables lose that one.
He doesn't have to do anything with his eyes.
I don't have to do anything with it.
Yeah.
If you just close one a little bit, that's perfect.
I'm Bobby's mom.
There it is.
I don't have to do anything.
Matt did a bit at the Correspondents Dinner.
And they didn't position him great because the lady was talking and then he got up and
started doing Trump.
And it was that.
It was like, who the fuck is this guy?
And it was kind of...
But that motherfucker, he has the grace and the...
Well, you guys have.
You've been doing it 20, 30 years.
He just turned it around and went right into it.
It was Mitch McConnell.
He's really good, though.
No, he's very, very good.
Have you heard Soder's
Cat Williams?
First of all,
Soder's everything.
Dan Soder's the most talented
voice actor.
You know, him and I
tested for SNL together.
It was me and him
and Pete Davidson.
You know that?
I didn't know you were there.
Me, Sody, and Pete
were the three.
When was that?
A while ago.
Wow, what is that?
Almost 10 years ago now?
Would you do it now?
Would I do SNL now?
Yeah.
No.
I mean, fucking,
I would be a musical guest
before I would do anything else.
Really?
I don't even do music.
Yeah.
Musical guest!
It's interesting.
Bobby's mom!
I'm Bobby's mom!
I'm Bobby's mom!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-bum!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-bum!
Every 22-year-old,
like, did you hear that Bobby's mom hit?
It's a fucking jam, dude!
Cartoon.
No, I would never.
I have no interest in it.
I mean, a dream would be to host it, but that's never going to happen.
What about that guy who came back and hosted it who got kicked off early?
Shane Gillis?
Yeah.
He's one of the best working comics today?
He is.
I wish he would.
I didn't love his spot on there.
Gillis is a fucking beast.
He's so funny.
He watches everything he does.
He's undeniably funny, and even the show that said fuck off to him had to be like, come on back.
You know what that's like?
That's like getting rejected by the hottest chick in school.
And then you're like, fucking whatever.
And then a week later, she's like, do you want to hang out?
It's so cool that he was like, yeah, I'll come over there and fuck the shit out of you, you goofball.
He won that war so hard.
And he didn't even have to do anything.
And I bet you everyone there felt safe with him there.
I don't even think people felt unsafe.
By the way, everybody that was on that show, casted on that show, they all like him.
Nobody had beef with Shane.
Even the guy, the Asian gentleman?
Nobody had beef with Shane.
Nobody.
That was all, I think that was all inflated by the fucking media, which is what got him
fired in the first place, was the media inflation of something that didn't exist.
Bowen Yang, is who you're talking about?
Yeah.
Bowen fucking liked Shane. What does he have which shane and him
don't there's nothing when you meet him he's an impossible guy not to like as a person he's just
a he just he he said one thing once we've said 17 things on this oh jesus christ i mean just today
my patreon jesus christ no do go to his patreon yannis pop is live but thank god you guys stay
true to yourself well it's just a fucking joke.
At the end of the day, it's like none of this is to target and hurt people.
People are out there targeting and hurting people.
They're actually doing it.
It's hard to be funny if you're thinking about censoring yourself.
Because that's the opposite of what comedy is.
Nobody, when you're a class clown when you're growing up, it's not because what you did was well thought out.
It's all about saying the wrong thing.
Have I told you that story?
When I was in, what grade was I in?
I had to have been in junior high.
It looks to me like what grade?
How do I know?
Well, you remember.
You were around.
Yeah, that's true.
In sixth or seventh grade, something like that, there was a girl in our class who was getting brain surgery to remove something.
Hilarious, by the way.
I know, I know.
Get ready.
And she had to get a surgery.
And obviously, she was, look, we were taught that it was also like, she's going to be okay.
She's removing something.
But it's not, she's going to be fine.
But, you know, send her some love.
Not funny anymore.
So then the whole class had to sign a card.
You know, it was one of those big, you know, oversized gold, those old like.
What did you write?
And I wrote, at the time, D dumb and dumber was hot in my world that was and so i just wrote don't
you go dying on me because he says that come on dude isn't that fucking that's what he says
the little old lady on the cart and that was a piece of my life at that point. So I wrote, don't you go dying on me. A sweet thing.
And it invoked so much anger.
They wanted to suspend me.
They were like, this is disgusting.
I was like, I thought a little bit of comedy,
a little bit of levity.
Everyone's writing in there like,
I will pray for you
and God will be watching your surgery.
And I was like, don't go dying on me.
Did she die?
She died.
Well, that's what comedy's for. She's alive and well and healthy. Yeah, but it was was like, don't go dying on me. Yeah, it's great. Did she die? She died. Well, that's what comedy's for.
She's alive and well and healthy.
Yeah, but it was also like, if I censored myself, but it was all in good fun and everyone thought
it was funny except for fucking, you know, the staff.
By the way, she thought it was hilarious.
Right, right, right.
It was just the staff.
Let's stop pretending that life is easy and it's good.
It's a nightmare.
It's a nightmare and that's what comedy's for.
That's why Life is Beautiful was such an impactful movie
because, you know,
the kid, he's trying to do this for his son,
and he uses comedy.
I mean, that's what comedy's function is.
Yeah.
It's to allow us to be able
to emotionally survive
this fucking ball of pain
floating in nothing.
I mean, it's frightening.
It is.
The less aware you are, the better.
I know.
And comedy is a nice way
to deal with the horror of life.
This is why when someone says,
why do people smoke
even though they know it's going to kill them?
It's that exact, that's exact reason.
Yeah.
Because you're like, well,
because this is already fucking wild.
Yeah, smoking's going to kill me.
Yeah, well, isn't being alive also going to kill me?
Can I enjoy myself a little bit?
Do whatever you feel like doing.
Yeah.
In here, we pour whiskey.
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Ginger. I like gingers.
Saget was the best at it.
You know, he had a lot of death, a lot of tragedy in his life,
and he just made jokes about it.
And he would do it to your life, too.
At first, it was like, my dad just died.
I asked him to host my dad's funeral.
And he gets up and says,
tonight's specials are cake and cock and rat off cake.
And my mom's like, oh.
And then he goes into calamari jokes, circumcision.
Yeah.
But it was what we needed.
Yeah, it's what you need.
At first it was like,
what the fuck?
My sister's looking.
And then everybody just, you know.
I'm sorry.
I just got hit with a bug of curiosity.
Go ahead.
Now that I have you in the room
and I thought of it.
Yeah.
Does Jamie Lee Curtis have a penis?
I mean, it's been a rumor for a long time.
She's a good friend of yours.
She wrote the forward to your book,
which go get his book, by the way. It's great. Good plug a long time. She's a good friend of yours. She wrote the forward to your book Which go get his book by the way, it's good plug for his book
You know I hear about stamos
Fucking high getting pulled over by the cops. It's great. I don't think she have a penis
I asked I actually asked her once did she she just laughed at me. I think yeah, I said, what are you?
How did that rumor get started? I actually I'm being genuine when I say I'm just an idea what you've never heard of that room Jamie Lee Curtis. Yeah, I mean, what have you been living under a fucking rock in?
Chicago are you never heard of me? Are you joking around? It's like one of the common thing. It's Richard Richard gears gerbil
That was real Phil Collins in the air tonight the the arrest and that that's real too. None of those things are real
What's the first Richard Gere? That was a By the way, that's not like a's real too. None of those things are real. What's the Phil Collins- Except Richard Gere.
That was a gerbil thing
that was real.
What do you mean?
By the way,
that's not like a conspiracy.
That seems like a very viable thing.
Yeah, it's-
People do put gerbils up their ass.
And my second question is,
have you put a gerbil in your ass?
In hers.
Jamie's the coolest woman
on the fucking planet.
And she is a woman, right?
Yes.
Okay, there you go.
It's official, dude.
This podcast is finally going viral.
I've literally never heard
this before, by the way.
Huh?
I've never heard this before.
You've never heard the rumor that Jamie Lee Curtis has a penis?
No.
Dude, that's been around since the fucking 80s, man.
Do you guys, let me ask you this about comedy.
Like, do you guys work out stuff?
You can.
This is like working out stuff.
Like, will you take something and put it in your act?
Probably not.
I mean, not today, maybe, but just in general.
I never take anything
from the podcast.
No, I mean,
you know what's so funny?
I'm lying, probably.
But it's a great place to lie.
You absolutely are.
Of course you are.
It's a great place to work out.
A piece of it adds stuff
to other stuff,
but I will say
a joke I did on you
and Stefano's old show,
History Hyenas,
ended up later
getting into my last special.
The joke about
build a wall. Trump said
build a wall, build a maze. That was such a good joke.
I remembered it.
That was on History Hyenas when you guys did that joke.
And I remember we said that. We were fucking
around. It was such a good joke. And that night...
He said make them work for it and then you can, whoever
gets it, this guy's accomplished.
And that came out of just ad libbing
and podcasting.
We were fucking around
having a good time
and we were humming, man.
That day we were humming
and I remember saying,
I think I'm going to try that
at the Cellar tonight
and you guys were like,
do it.
Yeah.
And I went and did it
and it worked
and it ended up streaming through
and then I added
a whole big chunk to it
but that was one
of the first things
but we do take little things
and then we move with them.
Because you can bomb,
like if you,
to work out stuff
you can go on stage for 20 minutes and do shit, and it's not good.
You can do shit here, right?
I do like working through stuff on stage at the club.
It does feel good.
I do it all on stage.
It's fun.
I think people have this weird fear that it's like, you don't want to get up there and not be able to fucking kill.
And you're like, well, I have to work it out to get it to a place
where it's going to be good.
As long as you like
slowly slide in new shit,
you do shit that works,
you slide in new shit.
And you guys are such pros.
You know, like,
okay, I did a little stuff
that's not working.
I'm going to give them this.
I also think they like to see it.
I know they like to see it.
I mean, I've had audience members
say that, that they're like,
I love to watch comics
because they're building the thing.
But you can build here.
This thing that I think I'm doing is because as you guys know, I love to watch comics because they're building the thing. But you can build here. This thing that I'm
I think I'm doing is
because as you guys know, I'm maybe... Who are you doing it with?
Josh Packer? I can't tell you now, but the...
You can't... Come on, break something
on here. Jamie Leighton,
you didn't break the... What was the guy's name in the Nickelodeon
documentary it was about? What was that guy?
Drake and Josh? Drake and Josh. No, no, the guy...
Josh is a great guy. The fat guy that touched everybody.
What was his name? He didn't touch anybody.
I didn't?
You know, he's suing the thing.
I'm not defending him by any means.
I don't know anything about it.
I didn't watch it.
I don't know anything about it.
I didn't watch it either, but I just saw the internet.
It's fascinating.
By the way, that guy, I just found out.
Yeah, it's a big deal.
Drake Bell got fucking raped, right?
Yeah, there's two or three, can't say that word, pedophiles on there.
Drake, he got unconsensually fucked.
Did they say that?
Wait, so that guy's suing Nickelodeon?
The one guy, yeah.
Who actually, I just found out,
Josh told me,
he lives in my neighborhood.
And lives very close to...
No shit.
Yeah.
But I've known him over the years.
You guys live in Inglewood together?
Yeah, right.
Can you imagine Stamos and Compton?
I used to. Can you imagine if the fucking Crips were like, Stamos!
He's like, what's up, son?
What's up?
Yeah.
It'd be amazing if Stamos was a blood.
That would be great.
That would be.
No, he's a Crip today.
You're Cripping today pretty hard.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Is that the Rockefeller Diamond?
No, he's doing the Illuminati thing.
Oh, the Illuminati thing.
That's giving the internet what it wants.
Is there an Illuminati? Let's get the people. The people want to know. Is that the Rockefeller Diamond? No, he's doing the Illuminati thing. Oh, the Illuminati. That's giving the internet what it wants. Is there an Illuminati?
Let's get the people.
The people want to know.
Is there an Illuminati?
Well, yeah.
Does Tom Hanks have a keg in his basement of different type of boy blood you can drink?
He does these great Greek characters.
Come on, tell the people.
Yes or no?
And I had him do it for Tom and Rita.
We were in Greece.
Remember?
You did that great video.
You were in Greece with Tom Hanks doing characters for him?
Yeah, I saw.
So you drank some of the blood too, bitch.
Oh, he wasn't there.
And you got to scare him first.
He's got to laugh at those kind of conspiracies, right?
Does he know that that's a-
You got to go down first and go, boo!
And you scare him.
And then the adrenaline gets released.
When he puts back on his mask.
But you got to scare the kids, which is fun.
So you do like a purge thing first.
They get scared.
They're hooked up.
You drink.
He doesn't.
The Illuminati that Cat Williams has said that everybody is involved.
I would love to see it.
I do want to see it.
Yeah.
I know it's not real because I feel like I would have snuck into it.
There's nothing to see.
Where is it?
Everywhere?
It just is, yeah.
Yeah, it just is.
Who's running it?
Yeah.
Stern has said it was me.
Howard Stern?
Are you the guy?
I'm saying he said it.
Oh, he says you're the guy behind it.
You're close to Howard Stern.
I'll say this.
What's interesting about Howard Stern's thing,
and I know this is like a...
Did you see the Biden interview?
He took a lot of heat for that, too.
Yeah, he should.
It was a little strange.
No, it wasn't.
It was a little strange. Why? I don't know. He, too. Yeah, he should. It was a little strange. No, it wasn't. It was a little strange.
Why? I don't know. He was very, like, kiss-assy to him. It was a little strange.
Biden came in here right now, he started
hammering him about shit. I wouldn't kiss his ass now.
Come on, man! Come on, man!
Come on. Well, I certainly
wouldn't have the hum of these lights. They'd put him to sleep.
But I fucking... No, no, no. I would just...
I just think what's weird about
the Stern thing over the years since I was
watching as a kid is everybody matures, everybody changes, and that's good.
But it is weird when he gets extremely political on that show because I'm like, you're the
guy that made girls sit on a Sibian.
Like fucking, let's tone it down a little bit.
When he gets very hardcore political, I'm like, come on, dude.
What are you, like you made girls masturbate live on air.
What does one have to do with the other?
He's got daughters, I think.
Well, no, I'm saying because you were so politically incorrect.
Then he got so politically correct that you're like, this is a weird.
This is a huge pendulum swing.
I heard I turned on yesterday and there was a bit with me on there trying to get Debbie the cum lady to get high pitch Eric to come.
He's still he's still.
I know.
But so I'm saying then when you go from that to being like hey man
don't fucking fuck around
during COVID
you're like alright dude
relax
did COVID break his brain
a little bit
I don't listen to it
but my friend does
and he says that COVID
like he's still like
scared of it and stuff
is he
yeah
but you know
he's 70
it's not that bad
he turns 70
it tickles a little bit
well you've had it a few times
you've gone to that restaurant
I've had it a few times
you know Howard for the longest time but you know what I mean by that right John it's not that bad. He turned 70. It tickles a little bit. Well, you've had it a few times. You've gone to that restaurant. I've had it a few times, yeah.
You know, Howard, for the longest time, though. But you know what I mean by that, right, John?
Yes, sort of.
It's not a disrespect thing.
I like the guy.
I just don't like it when...
I think his best shit was when he was the most free and didn't care.
Yeah.
But when we all get on our high horse and tell people how to think, I always go like,
oh, come on, man.
I think he avoided that for a long time, as long as he could. And you should.
And he, you know, the longest time, I remember
saying, I remember asking them, and Gary's like,
what is he, how come he's not
bashing Trump? And, you know, they were,
I sat next to Trump at his wedding, at
Howard's wedding. Yeah, they were good friends.
Well, he had him on the show so much.
But why?
He kept it cool for a long, long, long, long
time about Trump. Everyone used to love Trump, right? Or, I don't know, did they? He kept it cool for a long, long, long time about Trump.
Everyone used to love Trump, right?
Or I don't know.
Did they?
He was on Howard Stern fucking all the time.
He was a guest on the show.
He was like one of the guests
that was on so much.
So much, yeah.
He was a personality of the show.
Yeah.
Which obviously people change,
times change, that's fine.
But, you know, I don't know.
I liked Howard shooting at the sky
was way more fun to me.
When Howard was like, when he was the way that like Hunter S. Thompson lived, that's
kind of how Howard's comedy was.
It was fucking absurd.
But where's Hunter S. Thompson dead?
Like, you know, Howard wants to live.
He's going to die too.
Who?
All of us.
I don't think so.
See?
See?
He does have the keg.
He does have the fucking keg.
Well, he didn't answer the question.
No, he's doing it again!
What?
He didn't answer the question.
Is there a keg?
Does Tom Egg
drink Adrenochrome? You know, I was doing something.
The people
fucking want to know who are watching this right now.
This will be on fucking 60 Minutes.
They don't want to know about my Patreon. They want to know that
answer. They do want to know about the Patreon, and that is, of course,
patreon.com slash yannaspapaslive. Yes.
I get it. I pay for it, too, Yannis.
Do you know that?
How much do you charge?
Five bucks.
It's not that much.
It's five bucks.
Is there a higher tier?
No, it's just five bucks.
I do like that there's one tier.
I'm a dollar store fucking Patreon.
Well, don't say that.
The dollar store is real toxic, so don't do that.
You're a five dollar store.
Dollar pizza.
Dollar pizza, yeah.
Dollar pizza.
Dollar pizza, which is now $1.50.
It's $1.50 now, yeah.
It's like when you go to the dollar store there's nothing
that's the dollar
it's so sad
it's just
everything's a lie
everything's a lie
what isn't a lie
John Stamos
in this society
what isn't a lie
that you're gay
what isn't a lie
what is true
that I'm gay
that is not a lie
that is not a lie
that is not a lie
that was a stupid joke
no no it's a good joke
because it's true
I did kiss you
and he goes
oh he really kissed me
I liked it
I'll kiss you all
fucking day long
he's upset about he's upset about the fucking Stern thing.
He's friends with Stern.
You're speaking freely, though.
You're just saying you don't think anyone should tell anyone what to fucking think.
I said that earlier myself.
I love this guy's fucking episodes.
It's going to be huge.
I like Howard Stern.
My point was I liked Howard Stern because it wasn't-
You're basically saying shut up and dribble.
It wasn't a political show. No, it wasn't a political show is what I liked about Stern because it wasn't... You're basically saying shut up and dribble. It wasn't a political show.
No, it wasn't a political show is what I liked about it.
Right.
When it got political is when I fucking got turned off to it
because I don't care.
I just want to fucking...
Again, I want to hear him have fun with fucking lunatics.
He still does.
Yeah, but I just don't want...
The other shit, I'm just like,
get the fuck out of here with that stuff.
I don't like it.
That's not a disrespect to him.
That's not a shot at him.
Even though he did shoot at all podcasters pretty fucking hard.
He did.
Well, he started, but he was the first.
He did shoot at them.
I know, but who cares if he was the first fucking...
Four hours a day.
But that's like fucking Jordan being like, Anthony Edwards has no business in my game.
All these female basketball players now hating on Caitlin Clark.
Same shit. I think he,
you're like,
why are you doing that?
She's about to make you all millionaires.
And what do you care?
Yeah, what do you care?
I don't,
I think he's changed his tune on podcasters, though.
Well, he had to
because it fucking,
the world changed.
It was almost like,
I think he didn't buy into us
and then he saw that it was relevant
and he was like,
well, maybe that is legit.
Which, again, I said,
people change.
We all go,
I like this and now,
and then five years later you go,
I don't mind it.
And you fill an hour a day sometimes.
This guy's four hours every day.
It's amazing what he does.
It's a lot.
And he's also, I think he's the best interviewer.
He's such a good interviewer.
Well, that's where he's at his best.
Yeah, he's so good at interviewing.
And also, four hours a day for so long, it's crazy.
It's too much.
He built the whole world.
Well, it's a lot.
I know, it's a lot for anybody.
Yeah.
But no, I still like him. Don't be upset about it, John. I'm not upset, but I'm going to tell Howard I'm going to text him right now. crazy it's too much the whole world well it's a lot i know it's a lot for anybody yeah but no i
still like him don't be upset about it john i'm not we're still gonna be friends because you're
upset about it text him right now text him he doesn't know who the fuck i am he doesn't care
yeah he'll go who who the fuck is that yeah he's the i like this throw a little heat at the old
guard i like it well because it is the it is the caitlin clark of it all where you're like yeah
by the way don staley who was it not oh it was a bunch of tarazi they all well here's what i do like they all put shots diana tarazi thing of her i like people who
are in it's like when kevin durant talks shit about a new young guy yeah that's dope that's
fun competition yeah it got weird when sometimes they're like um when they're kind of like
fucking it off well here's the thing also. You want to invoke competition.
She exposed what they were doing that wasn't working, right?
Because all they were doing was yelling at everyone
and yelling at men for not watching.
Right.
And she was like, I'll just play good basketball.
She inspired people to watch.
And so I think that that's one of those things that like,
it's hard for them to look at themselves and go,
oh, she's doing it right.
She's inspiring with her play.
And they're just going like,
they're just going,
they turned it into a because she was white.
We want equal pay.
We want to, it's like,
all right, well, you're screaming at us.
Yeah, but they turned it into because she was white,
which is an unfair argument, by the way,
because I don't give a fuck what color she was.
She could be blue or green.
She's the greatest female college shooter.
Yeah, well, you got to think about it.
Numbers are numbers.
If you were the best college shooter of all time,
it didn't matter if you were fucking cross-eyed. If you were, it's not, if you were Giannis. Yeah, well, you gotta think about it. Numbers are numbers. If you were the best college shooter of all time, it didn't matter if you were fucking cross-eyed.
It's not.
It didn't matter if you were Giannis.
No, but that can't be about race because
you're the best, right?
And look at the other players. Staff, Jordan,
all these people made those sports. They weren't white.
The thing is, there's
no dunking in
the WNBA or women's basketball yet.
And there never will be like no there's
no trampoline they're gonna put that would that would fucking help but deep bombs when you shoot
for deep she's like this 50 footer love the deep ball so she inspired just with the play just how
far she's shooting people going wow so that's like a dunk in the level of respect that she
that she commanded was just from play and to, it doesn't fucking matter what color you are.
Proof is proof that you're like,
well, that's just because of this.
And at some point, they can't say that anymore
because you're like, no, man, the numbers are just real.
Yeah, I mean, look, it doesn't hurt that she's white.
I mean, the majority of the country is white.
White people do love rooting for a white guy.
I mean, let's be honest.
You guys aren't political, you're racists. No, he is, not me. But no, white people secretly root for a white guy. I mean, let's be honest. You guys aren't political. You're racists.
No, he is.
Not me.
But no, white people secretly root for the white athlete.
Did you see?
Because it's the underdog.
In basketball, especially.
And there's some diversity hires in fucking basketball.
I always wanted to ask JJ Redick, do you feel like you were a diversity hire?
Oh, he's one of the best shooters, man.
Don't fucking, don't shoot at that guy.
He's incredible.
He loves shooting at other people.
So now you're shooting at Stern.
I'm shooting at JJ Redick. On his podcast, he does. He fucking, don't shoot at that guy. He's incredible. He loves shooting at other people. So now you're shooting at Stern, I'm shooting at J.J.
Radek. On his podcast, he does. He fucking,
he really loves the contract. I know.
For a Christian, he fucking brings it. But that's what gets clipped. So were you a diversity hire? I mean, you weren't DACA,
you didn't have range, you were undersized for the two,
you had no one skills. What the fuck were you
doing in the NBA so long? You tell me there wasn't a black
guy who could score fucking 14 points
and shoot 33% from the fucking three-point
line? Get the fuck out of here.
This is when he's at his best.
Your diversity hire, JJ Reddick.
Close your mouth.
We're going with some
hot takes with John Stamos.
We're here to ruin John Stamos' career.
Well, we're doing it.
His improv skills are
close to Robin Williams, I say.
Jesus Christ, don't do that.
When he goes on a stream, that is tough. I mean that. Jesus Christ. Don't do that. When he goes on a stream.
Don't do that.
That is tough.
I don't care, man.
I don't care.
The comments are going to light up.
Do you remember my show, Big Show, the basketball show I had where I played the coach?
I did.
I watched the whole thing.
I remember that.
I wish that was still on because we were always pushing how important women in basketball
was and how they got the show.
I always loved women's basketball.
And the prizes, the money.
Not to switch the subject and save you guys, but McGrath loves you.
Oh, really?
He said, bro,
I'm such a huge fan of his.
Wait, Mark McGrath
from I Just Wanna Fly?
Yeah, we're neighbors now.
Let's call him.
You want to?
Yeah.
Yeah, ring him up.
Video or whatever you want to do.
But make sure you tell him
he's on the podcast.
I don't want him to,
we can always edit it out.
By the way, dude,
you're great in that show.
And I'm not just saying
that to be funny.
Big shot.
Oh, okay.
It was a good show, too.
Big shot, yeah. Big shot. I do a good show, too. Big shot, yeah.
I do nothing about
sports. You guys would have been so much better.
It was because she was white.
Let's talk frankly.
She's fucking great.
It's because she inspired people with her play.
Deep bombs.
Just so you know, you're on a podcast.
We can edit it out.
Say hi to your neighbor, Andrew.
What's up, brother? I gotta come see you.
I'm excited. I'm gonna drop by your house.
I'll drop off a... What do you like to eat or drink?
I'll go get it.
Vagina!
Oh, come on, John.
You know Giannis Papas, the Greek comic, too?
He's fucking phenomenal.
Nice, I like that.
No, you're not.
Hey, I'm going to say this.
John's going to connect us so you and I can get together.
I can't wait to see you.
Hey, Brian, be honored, Andrew, really, man.
I look forward to meeting you, man.
My man, dude.
I was just telling them how great you are,
and I was telling them about what we did the other day Sunday
Wasn't that like a almost like a religious experience? Elevation in that crowd was just stunning. And it was the best vocal performance I've ever seen John Stamos give of an amazing, very powerful vocal forever.
John's a decent actor.
He's a decent looking guy.
Blah, blah, blah.
He's a hell of a musician, songwriter, singer.
But thank you.
But you were perfect that next time.
Because he's played with us a bunch always like we always look forward to it.
But he's so fucking good on stage, man.
And he takes up some of the—
He's a true performer.
He's a true performer.
And I was so bummed that we didn't get to do Fly.
I said, are we doing Fly?
He said, no, we don't have time.
I'm like, let me take care of this.
Hey, Mike, we got to do Fly.
He goes, we don't have time.
I said, okay, Mike, fuck Fly.
It was that fast.
But I was bummed.
But we did it at the Greek last summer, and it was two summers ago.
It was so cool.
Wait, wait, John.
I'm going to correct you.
We did that at the Hollywood Bowl.
John, come on, dude.
Greek.
It was the Greek.
More exciting, you know?
And for me, though, it was a truncated, expedited Beach Boys set.
There was only 60 minutes.
So I didn't want to bum out the real Beach Boys fans with, hey, guys, here's the guy
with frosted hips.
So we're going to say goodbye now.
Here's Mark's only problem.
He's too fucking humble.
He beats himself up too much.
And people-
We wish you would do that to yourself.
Yeah, we wish you would do that a little bit more.
You should beat yourself up, John.
I mean, you come in here-
He learned it from me.
Fuck off.
Yeah.
But he's more-
He puts himself down too much.
No, you're phenomenal, dude, and we love you.
And I can't wait to link with you, brother.
Yeah, big fan. Love you, man. No, you're phenomenal, dude, and we love you. And I can't wait to link with you, brother. Yeah, big fan.
Love you, man.
Big fan.
Appreciate you, dude.
You guys made my day, man.
I can't wait to hang with you guys.
And I appreciate the time.
John, I love you.
Love you, too, man.
You're doing great work, man.
Thank you, dude.
We're coming over after this.
See you, buddy.
Incredible.
Mark McGrath is great.
Good dude.
He's great.
And he makes up too much for being like, whatever. Oh, I suck. I'm like, is good, dude. Yeah, he's great it and he makes up too much for being like whatever
Oh, I suck. I'm this I'm like stop it man
Does he have a problem with I did like we were talking about is I just want to fly like a thing
He hates like when people know he sings all the time
Yeah, he played with us at the Hollywood Bowl, but he didn't it we didn't do fly there either
We did it at the Greek so you pull that mic down a little we want to see your fucking face
You can't hide that he should his should be fucking up above
No, what do you mean? What are you saying? I stay up late all the time. We can't hide that. His should be fucking up above. I'm tired. I stay up too late.
No, what do you mean? What do you stay up late doing?
I stay up late all the time. We don't go to bed.
First of all, we're comics and he has kids.
You're never asleep. Yeah, I love my kids so much.
Yeah, right? Isn't it beautiful? Both of them, though.
One of them more than the other. Of course.
There's always one. You gotta pick a favorite. You can't help it.
What are you so tired staying up at night doing?
What's John Stamos doing at midnight? What are you doing at midnight?
There's just so much to do. It's so not exciting probably. It's the funny thing about it.
No, there's something at midnight that you're doing.
What are you doing at night?
Writing and painting.
I started painting. Eating?
Do you eat at night? Yeah. I don't eat all day.
I know. I can tell that. You seem like a guy that drinks
coffee and then you eat. Can Santino
come over one time and you make pizzas?
He has a pizza maker in the back.
You got a brick oven? Yeah.
It's so fucking awesome. 800 degrees?
1000 degrees? He's also got like fucking cool
shit. He's got Elvis' sunglasses.
He's got a tin of
my zen. I'd love to. We texted
recently. He's like, I'm out of town. I'm out of town.
I have been out of town. He knows I'm leaving for Phoenix
fucking in like six hours.
I have to come and go because I'm working out this hour
so I have to be,
I'm out of town for the next six weeks.
I go to Abu Dhabi by the way.
Yeah, I cannot wait.
How much are you getting paid for that?
I will be on stage.
They're going to throw gold bullion at me.
How much am I getting paid for it?
I'm getting paid,
I think they're going to pay me,
I think I get one,
I get a Ferrari.
And a Virgin.
A Camel, 17 Virgins.
I'm allowed to stone one guy. I said I get a Ferrari and a virgin. A camel, 17 virgins. I'm allowed to stone one guy.
I said, in our contract, we try to
get two stonings in there.
Did you see
Dubai underwater? Just all those
fucking Ferraris floating?
You see how fast they cleared it out? Within 24 hours, they
cleared out how flooded it was.
It's because they were creating rain,
right? Yeah, they were rain seeding, cloud seeding.
Yeah, whoops, they overdid it a little bit.
Hey, man, hey, seems like a theme over there.
Listen, all right, we got to end this episode because John's got to go.
John, you got to go, dude.
You got to go.
I'm so excited to spend time with you guys.
This was fucking phenomenal, and I will say this.
I lost a friend yesterday, and this made my morning.
This was amazing. I'm happy. I told him off camera, yeah, we lost a friend yesterday and this made my morning. This was amazing.
I'm happy I told him off camera.
We lost a friend of ours yesterday and it was fucking awesome.
Don't die on me.
Don't go dying on me.
And yet he did.
God bless the dead.
We're figuring it out.
Young guy?
50 something.
That's pretty fucking young on the scale of life.
That's why you got to be humble.
That's why you got to enjoy yourself.
Because we're all just fucking on a rock.
Well, my wife said, do you want to cancel the podcast last night when I got home?
Because I was fucking.
This podcast today?
Yeah, last night I got home and I got the news and she was like, just cancel the morning tomorrow.
They'll understand.
It cheers you up to hang out with people.
And then I thought, no, fuck that.
I'd rather get a coffee, go hang out, see the boys.
It'll just make it a little bit easier today.
And I'm going to see a bunch of our friends this afternoon
to go do a little thing anyway.
So I thought, no, if I sit around and mope
and not give levity to it,
then it's going to fucking be sadder.
What the Greeks say, may his memory be eternal.
I love that.
Look into that camera and say that one more time. May his memory be eternal. That's that. Look into that camera and say that one more time.
May his memory be eternal. That's beautiful.
But grieve, though. Don't
laugh it off. No, no.
There's plenty of time for that.
But for right now, I want to fucking see my boys.
Thank you, guys. I appreciate you.
May his life be eternal.
May his memory be eternal.
John, you have to say one quote into that camera.
Don't go dying on me, Andrew's friend.
In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.
You are that creature in the ginger beard.
Sturdy and ginger.
Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.
Gingers are beautiful.
You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.
Gingers are hell no.
This whiskey is excellent.
Ginger. I like gingers.