Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep07 - Clash Republic

Episode Date: March 27, 2016

Kevin and Karl review Clash Republic Podcast, Episode 8, titled “Doomsday Edition”.  Clash Republic is one of many podcasts dedicated to the mobile game, Clash of Clans.  We learn a lot about stock prices and nearly nothing about the actual game or WTF it is about.  We hoped for discussions on clans and battles and what spells you should cast to see virtual boobies but alas, we got none of that.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts, I'm Kevin. And I'm Carl. And we listen to podcasts so you don't have to. Today's show will be analyzing and reviewing a podcast called Clash Republic Podcast. It's episode number eight titled Doomsday Edition. As always, we both listen to the show separately. We've not discussed it beforehand.

So without further ado, let's find out once and for all, Who Are These Podcasts? beforehand. So without further ado, let's find out once and for all who are these podcasts. I I'm pretty good Carl how you doing? I'm doing alright happy Easter. Yeah yeah this is a special Easter edition of WADP. Although I don't celebrate Easter, I gave up on it a couple of years ago. Oh yeah. So yeah, my wife and I, we do Feaster instead. Feaster. Yes. Is that what do you just eat, Cadbury eggs? We actually eat crab legs. Crab-la-oh! Cadbury eggs, crab legs, okay. Yeah, yeah, it's kind of like that. All right. Cool. So yeah, no, no baskets are bunnies or Jesus. Just, just oceanic creatures. Oh nice.

Crush stations. Oh, man. Oh my gosh, when I was going through to two boys club on the reg. All right we listened to a show and Kat and I apologize I'm sorry I made you listen to this I thought it'd be interesting it's about the game clash of clans yeah yeah multi-player mobile video game Everyone's probably familiar with it. They've had ads during the Super Bowl and they've had pretty big celebrities in their ads I'm sure you've seen what was at Liam Neeson He was was in the ad a couple of years ago and and Christophe Waltz Yeah, Christophe Waltz is in there now So you're probably familiar with it, but if you're

anything like Kevin and me, you've never played it and don't really know how it works. Right. So we listened to this podcast about these people who play this game all the time. So it was really confusing and pretty boring. Well, I think where it was really boring is that most most of that of the episode was not about the game per se. It was about all the reasons that they like like the actual business reasons why the game is doing well and not doing well. It was very odd. And I don't know if it was just this episode of this podcast. I mean, I assume they all are fucking horrible, but this particular one was like.

I would think that they're all really terrible. Yeah. Yeah. If you want, we always like to start off by playing a clip from the show that we think sums up the entire podcast best. And if you want to get started with my number three, mind blowing information clip. The average mobile game in the top 1,000 in the Apple App Store

actually has an average lifecycle of like 23 days, which blew my mind. Yeah, blows my mind. That is just 23 days really? Yep, 23 days from 100% user retention down to like three or four. Yeah, I think this is what you were talking about. Right. This guy Jared, there's Mama Liu, Jared, and some other guy that doesn't talk very much. But this guy, Jared, did a ton of research, and I don't know, good 20 minutes of this podcast was him talking about all of these facts

within the industry of mobile gaming, and then talking about the marketing of mobile gaming. They even, even getting into a point where he's talking about specific ad placements, and whether they're the right placements for ads and time square, and... Right, Right. Like you said, it wasn't about the game. It was about...

It was almost like if you were invested in this company, you might be interested in what they had to say. Yeah, yeah. Like Supercell, I think, is the name of the company that does this game or whatever. They reference them a few times. The funny part is like, is boring as this fucking podcast was to get through, the times when they do talk about clash of clans, I was like, fuck you.

Like, I was pissed off because it's like, I don't understand any of the, what the jargon or any of that shit is that they're talking about. It actually would have been better if there was more of that because when they did start explaining the buying gems and that, I don't even know, either crack that they do. Here's my clip that I thought was pretty funny. And I have a seven year old, so I play Minecraft with her a lot. I don't really admit that to a lot of people, but I guess I have just now.

So, so she she's embarrassed that she plays Minecraft, but she's on a clash of Clans podcast. I just thought I was like, okay, apparently there is a line that that is drawn between, you know, what you consider geeky and what you did. play Minecraft? No I'm not a nerd. Right. Flash of clans. Who do you think I am? Jesus. All right, so why don't you play Track 2 and then that'll kind of set up what this whole show was about. Guys moving on to this week our episode this week is entitled is Clash on the decline. And you know we've all felt here in the last, I would say several months that in general the game has been slowly going down.

Our clans are getting smaller and consolidating. People we've played with for years have started leaving the game. Some of the big names in Clash are starting hedging their bets in the first fight as well. For example, Clash with Ash changed his name here recently to CWA Mobile Gaming. The whole idea of this episode is they're talking about the decline of Clash of Clans, which is mostly just depressing. These people are very upset about there aren't as many players playing the game anymore. Yeah, I took this exact clip too because I thought it was funny.

They're like, yeah, he's changed his name to CW mobile gaming. Like the guy was just like, fuck this. I'm not going to be whatever it was like, you know, star child again. And I'm going to be fucking, you know, it's all corporate sounding. CW mobile gaming. Yeah, sure. You're right.

I know that when they talk about things that I guess are important in their world, it's crazy because there's just nothing, for example, if you play Track 10, perhaps after they went through all of these reasons because there's just nothing, for example, if you play Track 10, perhaps after they went through all of these reasons why the game is on the decline and it can't last forever, and it's a certain point, Mama Lou gets really pissed off about it. Then all of a sudden,

they talk about, perhaps, all is not lost. And here's the reason why Track Dad. Supercell's done a much better job lately of being transparent with what's coming up. They're starting to retweet some of the big streamers. I saw Powerbang got a retweet. I saw Jake from one I've got a retweet. And somebody was streaming the North Rem versus cold September war and they got retweeted which is you know starting to become more and more common.

So Kevin I guess the game is going to live on the company is now retweeting. Yeah boy holy shit hold on your seats. That was the big thing like wow this is exciting guys and you actually listed all the things that they retweeted to Yeah, I have a few tracks that are titled WTF and WGF who gives a fuck and things like that but WGAF who gives a fuck and uh things like that but uh here's I don't know I think this stuff that's was really funny uh banter between the two of them here there are all three of them or we'll go over to fuck her out. Guys I'll tell you why why don't we just take a pause right there and get to our

favorite part of the podcast. I just want to know. Lama Lou, our question this week comes from these nuts and these nuts wants to know. Woohoo! Sorry. I was listening to the first time and the first thing that's like let's go to this mail bag thing and then it's like oh, no, no, no, nothing you can't understand.

And then I's like nothing you can't understand and then I'm like let's take let's take our first question from D's nuts What's funny about that is I don't think there's any other questions right that whole segment is just that one question from D's nuts from D's nuts yeah that's great The question the question. The question was, what are the other games do you play? They're like, no, this is a show about clash of clans. They don't talk about other games on there.

We were talking about Minecraft, about silly Minecraft. Right. Well, and then Jared kind of pissed me off. Play Track 4. I have it today, but I don't go back and play Flapy Bird just to see if it's still fun. I know it's not. Oh, fuck it back and play Flapy Bird just to see if it's still fun. I know it's not. Oh fuck you, Flapy Bird is awesome. I mean, you know it's not fun.

It's too fucking good for Flapy Bird. They, uh, what a prick. They do rip on a lot of other games. They're like condescending to, uh, like, what's it candy crush they refer to that like a candy crush and you know these games like flappy bird he explains the entire flappy bird experience in there too which is pretty funny. I was it was developed and then because it was developed I grew very very large and the developer pulled out because he did not he did not want that type of fame, but then no one really plays flappy bird anymore. You know what's weird about this guy Jared is that he actually

seems intelligent. He speaks very well. We listen to a lot of these podcasts. They don't even know how to talk and they can't get the words out. This guy did a lot of research. He spoke very well, but his interests are ridiculous. Yeah. Well, you know, he's putting out this time and the clash of clans in the parent company and looking at stock prices, he went on this whole rant about the correlation between the stock price of the parent company

and the updates within the game. I think I have a clip of that, actually. Okay, I don't, if you have that, of that, actually. Okay, I don't. If you have that, because it was just one out of the mind. I think I believe that's what this is. I named it fascinating shit, so I'm guessing that that's what it is. At that 90% they can no longer balance user retention

with new user acquisition. And the game begins to decline. And that's all there is to it. They're not drawing enough people to counterbalance the people that they're losing. Okay, so this is the type of stuff that yeah, that they go into in this and here I am thinking we're gonna head into this podcast and it's gonna be like, oh man, so did you have the fucking the orc with the, you know, that's what I thought you were going to talk about strategies and how their giant got killed, but they are able to, you know, whatever you do in this freaking

dumb game, but no, it was literally like listening to a, if you, if you ever invested in a company and they do like their quarterly reports, you know, and they'll come out and they'll say, well, you know, our R&D budget was up, and that's why we saw projections fall. But next quarter, we plan on reinvesting. And it's like, what is this guy fucking talking about? Yeah, and that's exactly what it felt like to me. It felt like it was like a business meeting about about the game or something. And then I tease that Mama Lou gets pissed off.

Play track 6, which I call way to attach to a video game. Which is kind of a dick move, I'll be honest. It kind of pisses me off, really. Why take a game with such a huge amount of huge falling? And honestly, this subject kind of irritates me. And it kind of puts me on this whole defensive I want to save this game attitude. Because I really hate seeing this kind of behavior towards a game that I have found so much joy and so much fun and so much social, every, I mean, like all aspects of this game, I

really love. And it irritates me to think that they would take a game that is doing all these great things and just throw it in the trash. I mean why on earth would they do that? Fucking idiots. I have a fucking idiot. You know, the 15 minutes leading up to that was Jared explaining how every game has a life cycle and that it's not going to

last forever and that they'll put out new games and people will stop playing the old games and that she goes out this riot like she's invested so much of her precious time at this stupid fucking game. Right. And God forbid it's not available anymore. It's so funny that I'm reading like, all right, so for the people at home that are listening, I have an app that has all the clips that Carl and I take. So the way we do the production for the show and here I'm gonna get fucking just like this podcast

I'm gonna talk about the fucking inner workings here. So we we We do the clips separately, right? So Carl does his clips. I do my clips of the show and then we we pull them together. And then I put them into this app so I can trigger them during watp. So the funny part about this is we don't talk to each other prior to this. We just meet, you know, when we're doing the recording and we just kind of reveal what we've clipped. And I'm looking at the clips that are numbered and minor numbered and they're basically the same thing. Like I'm looking right now, I have one number six called, Chick is Pist and that's the one that you're like way too attached.

It's like they're all like the core. I could totally correlate which ones you've taken to the ones that I've taken to which is so fucking funny Yeah, that's funny. I'm looking at the ones that you have in here and I'm an addict. Yeah, yeah, you have the same I have the exact same clip in fact that was probably worth playing as a short one. I Legitimately can't even imagine my life without clash and that's part of the problem for me. I'm an addict and I have been for a long time. I legitimately cannot picture my life without clash. Yeah he's always shit. I just pitch these dudes like fucking in a shitty alley behind a thing just fucking like with a with a with a you got an android device on you.

It's fair and android device. I just need a few gems man just to get me through the day. It's fair and kindle. Oh God. Yeah I. It's really sad. You know they raised a good point though in this in this thing that these mobile games are really fucking fleeting. I mean, they're not made to be engaging things

that last months and years and things. And I can't even remember the last time I had a game and I was like, holy shit, I gotta play this like more than like a week Yeah, and then it's like a but I mean that's that's the nature of the beast and for these these folks to get like super pissed That it's declining after it's been around for like four fucking years. It's like well this thing should have died 50 times over at this point And you know, I don't even know that Clash of Clans is declining because they talked about

another Clans game that this company put out. Yeah, it's a Clash Royale or Clash Royale. Yeah, Clash Royale. So they say, oh, well now these people are playing Clash Royale and they're not playing this game. They'll always have some stupid fucking multiplayer universe game to play guys calm down. Yeah, I don't understand what the what the difference is It's it's funny to me because you know cell phones are our mobile devices in general haven't really been around that long like what we consider smartphones and like You know you look back at like the angry birds and how fucking huge that got. I mean, there's goddamn stuffed animal fucking, you know,

there's a fucking movie coming out. Yeah, I mean, it's a terrible timing. Nobody plays the angry bird the right idiots. So, I mean, I understand, you know, these things get tremendously popular because everyone has access to them, essentially all day long. But I didn't know anything about this game until I saw a commercial on TV because I just don't, I don't really play mobile games. So, this kind of came out of fucking nowhere and it seems like, and where's this the, uh, the commercials?

I think it's that one. It's not a game of war. This is the one that had like the talking characters or whatever. And like the guy that, the dude with the mohawk who was talking about pigs or something, right? That's that's fucking commercial. Yeah. Yeah.

The characters are talking to like catapulting people into the, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the characters are talking like catapulting people into the yeah yeah yeah all some shit I think that's what yeah I think that's it yeah I it's I can tell you that that did not do anything for me to be like I want to check this out. Oh yeah I had no idea what the fuck the commercials were very confusing I had no idea what the gameplay would be like from watching those commercials right right so I Good I did do some research because I wanted to see what this gameplay was like since we're listening to this Podcast and I found on YouTube

You know any video game you can find somebody who's posted them playing the game on YouTube. There's this guy named godsun He has a ton of videos of him playing clash one of them has 23 million 62,797 views what All right 23 million views of this guy playing clash of plans I hope I hope that there's like 80 people who each watch it five million times right Because otherwise it's really depressing There's that many people watching this video. Oh

My god now I know like switch, you know, Twitch is is kind of the wall and YouTube does that now too The game they have a gaming section or whatever that shifts like and incredibly popular to watch people play video games, but I like an incredibly popular to watch other people play video games, but I just can't crazy. That's that is retarded fucking numbers right there. That's ridiculous. There's a clip that I grabbed from the very end of the show that I found to be amazing. And I know I use the word amazing too much at this show, but this is truly amazing. Play Track 11. If you like podcasts in general, you should really check out some of the other really good Clash of Clans podcast. There's Clash Cast, Clash Files. There is

Saturday Night Hive and Cockfighters, which is a COC fighter, just to specify there. And I believe there's another new one out there, Clash in the North. What the fuck? Yeah, she's like, just go listen to all these other ones instead. But cover, there's six podcasts about Clash of Clans. Dude, it's huge. Apparently it's, it's, it's, yeah, it's, it's, it's a huge fucking game. And I don't get it. I don't understand it but But there's six podcasts devoted to this fucking game and I guess we picked the wrong one because I would have liked to hear one of these podcasts Where it's just nerds talking about how they you know want a war or whatever the fuck you're supposed to do Yeah, we we took our clan and we we invaded the other clan and then we I wanted to get like really personal and be like I don't know we raped all their women and we burned the village down and we

salted the earth so nothing would grow we take a squarcer with policy I like that nerd voice I'm not sure if you're like a little person or a little person. Oh, that way went to the lollipop girl afterwards. Well, our catapult is trapeze shades. You sounds like the little person that Cartman beats up. You want to start something? I don't know how to start something about this system. Oh God, there's always a South Park reference every episode of WAT. I'm keeping it alive. I'm keeping it alive. All right. Are you done with talking about this Clash Republic podcast?

I think I'll do anything else you want to play. I mean, I don't think so. I think I got the D's nuts one out there and that was it. All right, I have a, yeah, I have a few more, but they're terrible. It's really boring. So at this time, I would love to tease the podcast that we'll be listening to for next week's show. If you want to go ahead and play the, the teaser I have in their track 12. So we open with roadblock and Flint both getting strangled by these predatory vegetables as roadblocks are called. How much how great is roadblock? Roadblocks is just from the from the speech banner into just everything's awesome about

roadblock. He's also kind of got a little Mr. T in him. We call him the things Sucker. Wait a minute. This is a is this a GIG? Hope I guess. I felt so bad about making you listen to this clash of clans thing. It was so boring so boring I'm like I we got to find a podcast that we could have some fun with for next week okay so we were talking about starting our new podcast co-brows right I found a podcast called Joe on Joe it's hosted by a guy named Joe and he only talks about GI Joe and he actually goes episode by episode. So this is an episode called The Vines of Evil where he goes to and listen watches a show watches a G.I. Joe episode of 1983 and and talks about it as it's going

Also, he talks over it while it's playing well, I think I think he plays clips like we do. Oh, all right Okay, we'll play a couple clips and then And then we'll talk about how awesome, uh, roadblock is and how cool shipwreck is. Holy shit. I know. I didn't even remember half the character names, but I used to be a big, you know, G.I. Joe fan, obviously, I was a kid, but, uh, this is going to be exciting because it starts off with, all right, last week's show was really exciting. We had an awesome episode of GI Joe. This one, it's not good. It's not very good episode. Kind of boring. Okay, great. It's going to be perfect. I hope he reviews the, the little public service announcements that they do. I hope so too. I hope so too. I haven't listened to the whole thing yet.

There'd be like playing outside and the fucking power lines would be falling down or something to be like, oh no, don't play near there. The Billy and then one of these burly fucking military types would walk up and be like Make sure you don't play around power lines kids Also recruit make sure you join the military Yeah, the power line thing is weird because that's the one that sticks out in my head too Have you ever seen a down power line just hanging out somewhere? I my head too. Have you ever seen a down power line just hanging out somewhere? I never have in my life. I know I can't think I can't say that I have but that's a thing because that wasn't only

GI Joe's that stupid fucking light bulb. Remember that light bulb like Louis the lightning bug? That's what it was. Maybe like no it you remember the music be careful down power lines I'm looking about right down give me the lightning bug. I think his name was I'm trying to remember like he had like a Super it's in he was like a 70 year old Jez He was like a 70 year old Jets performing back Yeah, they gotta be careful of Go in near the down power lines I see radioactive

homologues It's fucking Louis the lighting bug A fucking dumb character Play it safe around electricity I'm trying to remember some of the other he had other like a whole like jingle then I don't recall what it is right now and it's angering me that I don't recall well we can always pop it in and post that's true I'll play it hi Louis the lightning bug here now lightning bugs are experts be on safety and electricity and one thing for sure and I ought to know you never fly your kite Where power lines go? You never fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, fly, you fly, fly, you fly, you fly, fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, fly, you fly, you fly, fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, fly, you fly, you fly, fly, you fly, you fly, fly, you fly, fly, you fly, fly, you fly, fly, you fly, you fly, fly, you fly, you fly, you fly, fly, you fly, fly, you fly, you fly, fly, you fly, fly, fly, you fly, fly, you fly, fly I

Never realized that there would actually be a G.I. Joe podcast, but I'm kind of happy that there is and I'm wondering if there's like Maybe there's like a thunder cat swan or a Fucking or mask Maybe there's like a mask one or something. Yeah, that would be sweet. Yeah, so there's there's probably a pretty large percentage of people of no idea what the fuck we're talking about right now. Yeah, I mean, these are pretty, now these are pretty popular fucking toys, I think. Thundercats, and they redid, that's like they have like a newer anime kind of version of it

or whatever, but mask, yeah, mask might be a little bit of a Reaching I'm guessing you can do a snarf impression It was me worth finding a a podcast about about that just for that purpose I'm sure that I'm sure there's like snarf files or something like that is like an actual podcast where it's just like fucking everybody talking about snarf for for 60 minutes or or or fucking two hours knowing us and that we we have to review a two hour podcast of two-hour podcast of uh... yeah, I should have for it would still be better than that fucking brony bill podcast you know something

yeah shit that's like sucked yeah i'm still pissed about that yeah well i mean and i actually pissed about that cabinet still real to be done and it's not about it

still real to me so and'm too open to about it. I'm too real to me. I'm too open to about it. I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me.

I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me.

I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me. I'm too real to me. I'm like, no, we've already covered this up. I feel like I don't need to listen to what a whole podcast is going to do. Furries. Yeah, I think, yeah, I feel like the brony thing kind of covered that that topic. Yeah, I think we're good. Yeah, we're good.

I'm that co-brose. Tell any man. That's the thing. co-brose man. That's going man, that could this show next weekend could spawn a whole new offshoot. Coming to just aired, co-brows. Just row in the morning, they're all GIG themed. We'd be stupid not to. Alright, well that'll be fun, we'll listen to some giant dork talk about a GI Joe episode. Yeah, I'm very, very much looking forward to you, GI Joe talk.

Me too, me too. So please join us again next week. I promise it'll be better than this show. And it might just be the episode where we find out once and for all. Who are these podcasts sleep well every pony I'm gonna go back to the place where I was born I'm gonna go back to the place where I was born I'm gonna go back to the place where I was born I'm gonna go back to the

place where I was born I'm gonna go back to the place where I was born you