Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep212 - PolitiPod
Episode Date: June 28, 2020Tom Myers fancies himself both a comedian and a political commentator. He is neither. Fortunately for him, he was able to find a dozen other hacks who spent way too much time listening to NPR and patt...ing themselves on the back for it. Having too much production doesn't cover up the fact that you can't execute a single funny joke. This week Cros joins the show as we dissect Tom Myer's "comedy," Stuttering John's technical issues, Opie's misunderstanding of Howard Stern's joke, Patrick Michael's bold move to OnlyFans, and Steve Martin's inability to sing the Beatles. Oh, also, there's a cripple fight! Thanks @CrippledJesus! Support us: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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I stink I suck. I'm a piece of shit. All right
Jane, what can you tell me about this man you saw last time?
He's Caucasian Caucasian. Yeah, you know a white guy with a mustache about six foot three
Half a big mustache. Shameless. Absolutely shameless. This show is so
Spatial I've never listened to Who Are These Podcasts, and I never will.
Cuzz.
Cuzz a Roe.
Cuzz a Roe.
Slapperoonie.
It's showtime. A W-L-A-T-P!
W-A-T-P!
Hello, rubber dicks and cousin ruse.
Welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts?
The only podcast made by boner guys and for boner guys.
I'm your host, Carl, with me this week,
Alex Jones, neighbor enthusiast.
It's Kroge, everyone.
Hello.
Welcome, Kroge.
How are you?
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This past Thursday night, I recorded a show
with Dick Masterson and Sean, the audio engineer.
We talked about a drag queen's podcast,
Adam and theapolis, and we also went through a few more chapters
of Maddie's book, Fuck Well, it's not out yet.
That is my favorite thing in the world.
It's great.
When you guys review Maddie's book, I got to pull the bike over
and stop riding because I can't even go on a lap.
This was a great one too.
We only got there, I think two or three chapters.
Oh, yeah.
There is so much to talk about.
And I've never noticed.
When you get to the end of the book, just start again. And any sentence you miss just goes through. I think two or three chapters. Oh, yeah. There's so much to talk about. And I've never noticed when you get to the end of the book,
just start again.
And any sentence you may just go through.
I think you're right about that.
It's every fucking syllable.
So please join us on Discord so that you can hear
those shows.
Just nice to say Discord, I'm in Patreon.
Join us on Patreon.
So you can hear those shows.
We also encourage our listeners to give us a five-star review
and iTunes and then shit all over in the comments section.
I need to update this iTunes. That's not a thing anymore, isn't it?
Yeah, I don't think so.
It's still my script now. It's still says iTunes.
Yeah.
Today, we'll be reviewing a podcast called Politopod.
Hey, oh.
This was a suggestion from one of the host Tom Myers.
Oh, fuck.
Tom Myers messaged me directly on Twitter and told me to review his podcast Politopod.
Yeah.
Terrible decision on his part.
Yeah.
Groza and I both listened to the show separately.
We have not discussed it with each other beforehand.
Let's get into it.
This is a podcast, this hosted by Tom Myers,
Kristen Joseph, Matt Messinoff,
and there's a bunch of other people.
The list is.
It's surprising that there's this many people
involved in this show.
I'm gonna start off, I went back and listened to an older episode.
This was something that Tom actually posted to his Twitter.
So Tom's a standup comedian.
I should talk about Myers real quick.
Yeah.
He's a standup comedian.
He's out of Maryland.
And I believe that he was in the same circles as some of the guys from Compton.
I think Nick and Stav were doing stand-up
in that Baltimore and Washington DC area.
So they crossed paths a few times.
And they have documented on Compton.
The Tom Myers is a.
Ha!
Why do you say that, Carl?
He is so funny.
Fuck it, you know what?
I'm just gonna go right to his stand up.
He has a new special out called Make America In Nate Again.
Make America In Nate Again.
Do you know what the definition of a date is?
It makes zero sense.
This is the title of his stand up special.
He doesn't understand what a Nate means.
Yeah, I don't think he understands what a stand-up means.
No, he does not. He comes out. And this is his first joke when he comes out right out of the gate.
It's a penis joke. And it's a real head scratcher.
A little bit about me. I'm 35 years old. And my girlfriend looks at my penis. The same way a kid looks at snow waiting to hear if school's gonna be closed
Anything less than six inches and there's bitter disappointment
And the best case scenario is she gets to go home early
That doesn't make any sense Rick
Does his penis size change from day to day every time his
girlfriend looks at his penis she wants to know what the size of it's gonna be
it's like a penis roulette yeah but the best case scenarios you get to go home
early what is he what is he talking about so then So that's how he starts a show with that penis joke.
Wow.
Render that, he has a fart joke.
Oh, there you go.
Yeah, that's not a knock.
And he does something that any comedian who does this,
it's the dumbest thing you can do.
And my age, you're just thankful it's a fart
because that means you know that your bowel movements
have passed completely.
You didn't like that one. This is going gonna be a long fucking show for you. I
Like it was someone so sure that their joke was great like if you didn't get that one guys
Guess what it's gonna be a tough one. It's like it was a terrible fart joke a
Fart joke about being 35 I know
35 joke about being 35. I know. Whoa. You're up on 35 girls. They can't hold their pool anymore. What's he talking about? What the fuck? So that makes as much sense as
the jokes he told on this podcast for sure. These jokes are atrocious. So I went
back and I watched on YouTube a video from Politopod in February of 2018,
and it's a response to the State of the Union.
Okay.
So these guys are big Trump basher,
Trump had a State of the Union address,
and this is Tom Myers,
the brilliant comedic styling of Tom Myers,
responding to that.
There was no intro music as the president entered,
owing to a disagreement as to what the music should be.
The organizers, one of the traditional hail to the chief, as the president's intro music rather than Trump's suggestions,
bad to the bone by George Thurgood, or the classics four's 1968 hit Stormy.
Okay, let's unpack that real quick. All right, so
Stormy is not a song titled anyone recognizes, right?
Yeah, he had to give the year an artist right
He's like, by the way, there is a song called stormy like is there? Okay, I guess and that's a reference to stormy Daniels
Like hilarious. That's what the song he wanted
But he doesn't even structure the other Joe correctly if you think that Bad to the Bone is a funny punchline,
you know what was song he wanted to come out to
was Bad to the Bone, he says,
by George Thurlgan.
He could have said George Thurlgan's Bad to the Bone,
you have to place the emphasis on the joke,
like that, that's how you end the joke.
And why so leave George Thurlgan's good name?
Right, just leave him out of it, Bad to the Bone. But why would you have a punchline? Right this joke. Just leave him out of it. Bad
of the bone. But why would you have a punchline and then more information coming out to that?
Here's another example of instructing the joke incorrectly. When I saw and heard Trump showering
praise on General Madness, I thought, wow, Trump sharing the sp- Oh, I guess I heard that one
over again. This is a podcast. He could have fixed this. He stumbles over the setup.
When I saw on her, Trump showering praise on General Mattis,
I thought, wow, Trump sharing the spotlight
is like the cookie monster passing the Oreos.
You just don't see it very often.
That is shameless level humor right there.
I'm not even alive, fucking zone out.
That was a long way to go.
It was not funny in any way, but he also structured it incorrectly.
If it is funny to say the cookie monster,
but you would say something like,
you'd see that about as often as you see the cookie monster
passing out Oreos.
There you go.
Right, because that's the punchline.
Like, oh, the cookie monster.
But you say, yeah, the cookie monster passing out Oreos, There you go. Right? Because that's the punchline. Like, well, the cookie, but you say, yeah, the cookie monster
passing out Oreos, you don't see that very often.
Like, well, yeah, no, I get it.
Yeah.
I, I get the, the Joe, okay?
Yeah.
It's, it's like this guy is, there's an old saying,
the problem isn't that people aim to high and miss.
It's that they aim too low and hit.
And this guy is aiming so low.
He's like at J. Leno shins.
You know what I mean?
Take the hackiest, just fucking headline of the day comedy,
but like just a little fraction of that
and mix in a bunch of Marvel.
We have a million more examples.
Let me just play one more from this state of the union response
because listen to how shoe hard this joke is.
He is trying to work in the fact that Trump, because of his immigration policy, is going
to get rid of Taco Bell.
Okay.
Alrighty, whole area is proud.
Listen to how he shoe hardens it, something that makes zero sense.
When the president talked about the four pillars of immigration reform, he didn't mention
his treasured fifth pillar.
Taco Bell's must, must go.
Unless of course they carried the equivalent of his beloved Mick Rib.
All right, so he thinks that the word Mick Rib is funny.
At least he uses it at the end like a punchline.
But he goes, but how does that even make sense?
Taco Bells have to go unless they have something similar to a Mick Rib.
What does that, what do you mean?
What does that mean?
I'm talking about.
It's a taco place.
They wouldn't have a pork sandwich in a taco place.
They have tacos.
Yeah.
Fucking more McDonald's.
McDonald's has to close unless they serve whoppers now
Great I feel like you're punching up his stuff, bro. Why don't you get it on the act here getting on some of this fun
What do you got as a clip that maybe sums up the show for you?
Back to the beginning and look this clip is long and it sucks, but whatever do that's how else you're gonna
Sum this show up. This was the first bit on the first episode I pulled this is the generals that support Trump here's number one. These are the generals who don't support right?
They denounced Trump. Yeah, I totally fuck that down.
No sense now. He said the setup to this joke is so log and the joke is so terrible
All right, this is this is go fuckers. This is boggers
We have to lit up our proud to provide you with the top nine former military officers who will denounce Trump
Number nine the car insurance general
Hold on a second just not a play. Can I just play my setup to that because before he does that he has to set it up with us
We've heard from the following so far
that, he has to set it up with us. We've heard from the following so far,
condom nations by former Marine General Matt Dogmatis,
by former General and White House Chief of Staff Kelly,
former General's Alan Hayden,
Powell, and Admiral McGrathen,
former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff,
Mullin and Millie,
and that's almost an entirely different top nine list.
We at the Little Pot are proud to provide you
with the top nine former military officers
who will denounce Trump.
Okay, so I wanted to play that
because this is a political show.
These guys fancy themselves as really
astute political satirists.
So they know all the names and they go through
and they explain all the generals who have denounced Trump
and it sets up your amazing
clip here of which is just not stop hilarious jokes.
We at Politapod are proud to provide you with the top 9 former military officers who will
denounce Trump.
Number 9, the current churns general.
Number 8, Colonel Sanders.
Number 7, Captain America. Number 6, General Mills. Number 5, Colonel Sanders. Number 7, Captain America.
Number 6, General Mills.
Number 5, Colonel Mustard.
Number 4, Captain Kangaroo.
Number 3, General Malays.
Number 2, Major Tom.
And the number 1 former military officer
who will denounce Trump is Captain Crunch. There's no good writing but there's a ton of production.
They want to cover it up with production.
They said here's a list of nine people who did denounce Trump.
But here's a list of nine imaginary people that will denounce Trump.
Correct.
And the biggest punchline was Captain Crunch, although Captain Crunch is just as silly as every other one that they had in there.
And also, the reference points are spanning so many decades.
Captain K. Garou.
We'll get to that car, we'll get to that car.
Captain K. Garou.
Who is this show for?
We'll get to that.
Who would enjoy this?
Oh, excuse me.
I think I just showed you.
This guy's like 35.
He might be 37 now.
I don't know when that album came out.
He's about Captain Kageroo, that's a punchline.
Oh, it did get worse.
All right, what do you got?
Well, and then he comes out and Tom Myers tells a bunch of, you know, shitty jokes that
don't make any sense.
There's some of these I put question marks on because I honestly don't get it.
Maybe you could explain to me.
Okay.
Number four.
A poem was released saying some Americans are financially better off since the pandemic started.
What sadist would say they are better off financially during a pandemic
besides self-employed people like me?
I had that too because he's so smug.
It's such a weird smug thing to say.
Oh, people are better off, even with this pandemic.
I mean, I am.
Well, wait a second.
First off, you're a stand-up comedian.
Yeah.
So you can't do that.
Secondly, you have a podcast that's only available
on SoundCloud.
I was, yeah.
And it's somebody fine fucking listens.
I was looking over there.
And I couldn't find it.
I found a soundcloud. I hit a South-Lawden hit playing.
I'm like, yeah, and it's only available on SoundCloud.
It's only available on SoundCloud
where you can see how people listen to a show.
It's had 75 listens.
I think three of them are for people in this room.
Yeah, seriously, seriously.
So 60 people have listened to the show.
And yet he's going on there and explaining
that the recession hasn't hit him.
He's self-employed.
How does that even make sense?
He talks about it in his standup too.
He talks about how great it is to be a comedian.
So I love being a comedian.
It's the greatest job in the world.
I love it because I get to be my own boss.
Every single job I have, I always have bosses that as soon as I get to work, if I show up late,
they're always like, myers, you know you're five minutes late for work today?
I go actually boss, I'm 23 hours and 55 minutes early for work tomorrow, so fuck you.
That was a math joke.
I have a 12 year old, that was a fucking terrible joke.
I have a 12 year old who tells shitty jokes, and his shit is 100 times better than this.
I have him do a fucking political podcast.
He's actually pretty sharp on this.
For some reason, this is the worst podcast
because it tries so hard, it's so try hard,
that it makes it the worst.
We're gonna get into a podcast
that's hosted by a handicap person later on,
which is terrible, but they're also not try very hard.
This show is trying so hard, and it's so bad, and the last thing I would do is admit this.
In adopting the moniker, the new American movement, the president stated that there has
never been a better time to start living the American dream.
As the head writer of a podcast focusing on lamp-putting political figures, I could not
agree with the president more.
If I was the head writer of Politopod, I'd keep that shit to myself and start suing anyone who posts that on the internet. No, fuck it. I'm having that shit take it down.
Holy crap. All right. So I want to get into real quick. Some of these jokes that I have for
this guy going through Tom Myers.
Yeah.
Goes through and tells a bunch of jokes in a row.
In fact, all three of the people have their little parts
where they just like bombard you with their political humor.
And what I did here, Kroge, to make it more entertaining for us
is I imagine that Stavros was there with him
laughing along like he does for Nick Mullen.
There you go. To see if that would maybe make it more entertaining.
Let's find out.
Trump set a protester throwing a rock is just as dangerous as a protester shooting a gun.
Not true. Rocks are terrible for use for target shooting and hunting trips. That's precisely
why they invented the gun.
The militia men must be very confused.
On the one hand, they like the black people
are being suppressed.
On the other hand, they hate that it's
the government-funded police departments trying to do so.
Having dealt with the returns policy of several stores,
I can understand the desire to want to break windows
and burn the business to the ground.
Trump says George Floyd is looking down and happy with the way everything is going.
Really, Donald? I think he'd much rather be alive.
Where are you, finals? Trump probably overheard people in the White House talking about the
George Floyd case, didn't understand the context, thought about what he wanted from
McDonald's and decided that everything was okay.
The fact that the only black cabinet member, Ben Carson,
has been silent throughout the pandemic and the civil unrest,
just goes to show that the phrase,
it doesn't take a brain surgeon is now useless.
Isn't that right? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha God it's so bad. It's so fucking... There's a lot of bad jokes in there, but there's one I really want to zoom in on and talk
about with you, Crash.
Alright, I'm going to replay it for you and then let's discuss this at length and I'll see
you.
Having dealt with the Returns policy of several stores, I can understand the desire to
want to break windows and burn the business to the ground.
Having dealt with the Return policies at several stores, is this a woman that we're
listening to?
Groach, have you ever gotten to a store and disagree with the return policy?
It's a Foxy talking about it.
It's never happened in a single time.
It's never happened in a single time.
I bring home something and it doesn't fit.
Fuck it, that's my fault.
That's on me.
I should have tried it on.
The return policy, I want to break this crap because of the return policies.
What?
Yeah.
That was a man who just said that.
Yeah.
A man made a joke about return policies at Starrings.
Can I play one of you?
Can you explain to me?
I'd love to.
Here's number six.
And I tried hard with this.
I caught out zero contacts.
This is the joke from beginning to end number six.
People in the South still can't understand why the end word is offensive. hard with this. I caught out zero contacts. This is the joke from beginning at number six.
People in the South still can't understand why the N word is offensive. Down there, saying
that word is an apology for using an adjective.
There's nothing before after that. That's a fully contained fault. That's a standalone.
The N word in the South, because South people are stupid. We can write that yeah, uh Is an apology for using an adjective?
I
Spent some time with it did you I said it's a riddle I?
diagram the sense of sound it's a mind-fucked like I
Picture you like a detective where you have like all the elements up on the board and you're trying to draw strings
Push bar right there's the Edward here's an adjective
You're trying to draw strings. Yeah, push bar, there's the Edward, here's an adjective.
Uh, apology, how does this work?
You there's no way to piece this together.
I, I don't get it.
And look, and you know, to peel back to Carton,
I write some jokes and they're fucking horrible.
I submit every a tome show, I submit the car,
the worst fucking list of jokes you ever saw.
Thankfully, Carl and Kevin do some
work and maybe use a few of them and make him an actual funny shit. But I would be fucking
embarrassed. If I ever sent this in an email to Carl, I can't even imagine what would
come back to me. You know what I mean? Can I tell you what's even more embarrassing?
I think you have this one too. His Hulk Hogan joke. Oh, speaking of the N word. Wow,
what is it? People are gonna zone out.
Please listen to this entire clip that I'm about to play.
And try to figure out why you would think this is a joke,
why you would say into a microphone,
why you would promote this on your Twitter.
Please help me understand this.
In the year 2020.
And by the way, I want to point out,
Todd Myers has over 6,000 followers on Twitter.
Woo!
He sent out a tweet on June 16th promoting the newest episode of Politapod. There's three followers on Twitter. He sent out a tweet on June 16th promoting the newest episode of Plutipod.
There's three likes on it.
There's three likes on a tweet!
Nice!
When the guy was 6000 followers, all right.
Here's his Hulk Hogan joke.
Hulk Hogan and his wife were banned from all elite wrestling shows.
After his ex-wife was caught making derogatory comments about Black Lives Matter protesters,
and a few years after Hulk was caught using the N word on tape.
I imagine Mr. T. would love to respond to Hulk Hogan, as soon as he finds a crown.
I'm pitiful who hid my Crayolas!
Alright.
So nonsensically.
He's talking about Hulk Hogan being banned from Russell.
And then he says, Mr. T is looking for cramps.
It's like free association.
Like what's the first thing you think of Hulk Hogan?
Mr. T, cramps.
I mean, how else could you even interpret this as a joke?
I think he just wanted to do his amazing Mr. T impression.
I think he was just like a brand excuse.
I do a dynamite, Mr. T, and I can't that light to get it out of my podcast.
What in crass have to do with that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is that how Mr. T addresses things by writing them down to cram?
Is this something I don't know about?
Yeah, there's a lot you got to buy it.
Who even knows who the fuck Mr. T is anyway?
I don't know.
I mean, that's wow.
That's fucking crazy.
One more joke from this fucking dumb nuts.
Because they're talking about the G7 switching to a video conference instead of an in-person
conference.
Cause there's a pandemic.
Yeah.
Grouch.
Yeah, I heard something about that.
I wouldn't break down the logistics of this joke.
The G7 summit will not happen in one location but will instead be conducted by video conference.
That means there will be no big protests, just someone hacking into the video feed to draw
a cock on Trump's face.
And when I say a hacker, I mean Angela Merkel.
For Politapod, I'm Tom Myers.
Alright, someone's going to hack into their Zoom conference to draw a penis on Trump's faces.
He not know what Zoom is.
That's not what people are doing hacking Zoom.
They're actually exposing themselves in other people's Zoom meetings.
Here's hoping, right?
That is, you can't go on there and draw on people's faces.
This is in Photoshop. What does he think this is? Am I stupid?
Am I not sure to say that? That's gonna be clifft.
What does he think? What is he talking about?
An angle of merkle.
It's like a random fucking thing.
It's I swear to God it's people who think they're savvy when it comes to world politics and just can't wait to show off
They know eggland burglist. He doesn't even know
He should have said mr. T
Then he could do his impression again. I pity fool. They don't like my penis. Yeah, mr. T found his his found his crayon
Yeah, so he's able to draw his face in the soup meeting
Holy shit
I just had to fire us a bunch of this show
Seriously, although I don't think they have any money
Cuz they're not they're not selling advertising or being listened to by anyone. Yeah, or publishing their show
Which breaks me to my next point this show is bizarre. It's all segments segments segments segments
I'm getting segments of it. It's all over produced. There's all these segments and music bands and shit.
They have a part where they're talking about elections that are coming up.
Yeah, like a PSA, like a public, uh, the public access channels.
Right.
Like dry reading.
Correct.
So this is an example of that.
There's no humor here.
Yeah.
But there's a, there are political podcasts and they really do want to get out the vote.
Yeah.
Utah has its statewide primary elections
and is strictly vote by mail.
And for this election only,
ballots can be postmarked the same day as the election.
I'm Sarah Sivini.
Thank you for listening to Election Central
with this regional report for the Midwest,
the West, and the Pacific region of the United States.
Of course, elections happen across America every week.
Get registered and go vote.
So, and there's a ton of that.
There's a ton of that.
And it's after 20 minutes of jokes on quote.
So, they're telling you in Utah,
there's an election kind of a go vote.
Yeah.
76 listens of this podcast in all of the world.
How many people are there reaching it in Utah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that the world. How many people are there reaching into Utah?
Do you think, Chris?
Oh, that's crazy.
How many Utonians?
Is that what they're called?
Utonians?
Right.
That doesn't sound right at all.
They use them.
How many Utonians?
Yeah.
Used to be Plegumus, but they had to change it.
There you go.
There you go.
That's the joke.
All right.
It reminds me of, and this is going back way.
I think maybe the second or the time you
have me over, we listened to a show that was like the Koch Brothers Adventure on the
bullshit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it was like just these people trying to prove over and over again how smart they were
and how good they were, producing a box, but none of it made any sense.
Right.
And I know we had to take that episode down because we performed it in black place, but
if you can't get the book like Bobby Overture, I forgot about that part. It made it so much funnier.
Yeah, really good. But like so for instance, and I just took a reign
a bit of this long-ass bit. If you've ever wondered what the 1921 Tulsa race massacre
would sound like if it was personified and it contests on a game show, here's number eight.
Tulsa race massacre won the coin test, so let's start with them.
Thank you, near Bedlam. I think I know how to riot. I used the always reliable,
unsubstantiated allegation of assault on White Womanhood and caused America's worst racial violence.
Second, only to our civil war.
Oh!
This bit goes on and on and on and on.
I didn't pull anything from that bit because it was so stupid.
It was so stupid.
This is me talking.
I'm a fucking asshole and I was like,
I'm not sure you guys are treating this sensitive issue with maybe the the carrot deserves and I'm a fucking asshole
You know what I mean? I know. Can I play you the most shocking part?
There was a part of this podcast that fucking I like I
Counted I could fucking believe it. Number 12, okay
Thank you for having joined us for a political pod. The little pod is a joint effort written by Kayla Avery, Tom Bickel, Dominic DeCecho, William Hamm,
Ronda Handsome, Christen Joseph, Paul Mander, Tom Myers, Matt Misnoth, Sarah Savini
Head fucking Ryder! Head fucking Ryder's on this show! Are you fucking kidding me?
It took ten people to put together
Why are you so, are you fucking kidding me? It took 10 people to put together that?
Yeah, it's about 30 minutes.
We don't know 30 minutes.
It goes from bit to bit to bit.
And some of it's actually just serious.
Like that game show thing that you played a clip from,
I think they're just trying to educate us
about how terrible this country used to be
back in the 1920s.
Like, okay, great.
Thanks for that.
Yeah.
Really appreciate it. So people used to be racist and do horrible things
I know what else is telling me this information. I really got to get it is for politopod
Yeah, and honestly if you're gonna tell me that put a life track on because really when you're when you're studying
More of elements of history like you know all those Holocaust films man if Spielberg would have put a life track under that
That would have been a whole different film. You think that's inappropriate, Coach?
You think the laptop's inappropriate
for that type of subject matter, is that what you're saying?
I'm just saying.
I think you might be right.
I think you might be right.
This is, I listen to the brand new episode,
Sullivan Green.
You check that out.
Okay.
All right, good.
I just want to play something for you real quick,
because this is like some sketch.
Well, it's like a, it's a self-contained long sketch where the Trump campaign is kidnapping
COVID-19 patients to make them vote for Trump.
Right.
And that's like the overarching thing of this film noir detective story.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Thank you.
Yeah. So this is a joke in the beginning and the middle and the end.
Who is it?
Detective Robert Thulmorn, NYPD hypermasculine protagonist division hypermasculine protagonist division
You mean the NYPD never mind that
You got a super cutters up and up and up and up and up and up doesn't say. So, okay, first of all, I just want to start.
Did everybody follow that joke?
So, hyper masculine protagonist division,
that's a joke about storytelling.
Yeah.
And then every reaction is, oh, the NYPD.
But that's not a joke about policing.
It's a joke about storytelling.
So, the joke doesn't make sense.
No, it doesn't.
So, this is every time the joke happens,
and it's long and it sucks in the dark.
Do you think they bet antagonist every time?
Well, he's leading the story.
It's an attack of the film noir, so he's an anti-hero.
Try to keep up, Carl.
Every time this gag comes up, I increase the speed by 10%.
Okay.
Number 60.
Okay, let's do it.
Who is it?
Detective Robert Thurman, and mymasculine Protagonist Division.
Hypermasculine Protagonist Division?
You mean the NYPD.
Never mind that.
The Hypermasculine Protagonist Division.
Hypermasculine Protagonist Division.
You mean the NYPD.
Never mind that.
Hey.
Detective Robert Thorn. NYPD Hypermasculin Protagonist Division, Freeze!
NYPD Hypermasculin Protagonist Division
The member of the NYPD's Hypermasculin Protagonist Division
Hypermasculin Protagonist Division?
Me and then NYPD.
Never mind that.
Detective Robert Thorne, NYPD Hypermasculin Protagonist Division
Hypermasculin Protagonist Division? Me and the NYPD? Never mind that. So this is a joke that wasn't funny the first time they do it five times because it's the rule of fives in comedy and
He every time he ends it with never mind that because that's how people talk oh
My god, and so I had that clip and like I clip them all and I hit play on it
Yeah, and I had a mouth full of pills and some vodka and I'm like
Spend this up and I spit a couple of pills out and portable
And it's like it's still socks, but it's I tell you you made the right decision, but I'm not sure.
Also, so and I couldn't tell so part of me was like, well, they're going for a film noir thing.
So there's some really fucking data jokes in here.
Yeah, but it's all about like Trump and COVID-19.
So it's very modern day.
Correct.
So I think they're just trying to say I'm so fucking smart.
So here's 13.
Here's a comp of some super dated jokes.
Is that a lengthy piece of exposition?
Or are you just happy to see me?
Ah, time lives in cyclopedia of seemingly
unconnected things, volume 14.
Rosebug to sled.
Thirth King, now this cyclist wants.
I'm a New Yorker.
We walk everywhere.
Even Franklin Roosevelt, after he had polio.
Jesus Christ.
F. R. Citizen Kane and May West.
Like what?
What's, and again, like maybe I'll give him a little bit of credit and say they were trying
to give the Smokey 40s movie.
No, because I play the example before is about Captain K. Garou.
Yeah, it's this is what happens when people listen to NPR for too long.
They think they're smart.
They've heard people whisper to them about the news.
They think they're smart now and now these are spouting out everything they've learned.
Did you know that in 1921 in Tulsa, there was a, look, it's a shit.
Shut the fuck up.
Insouffable.
Shut the fuck up.
And then in this, in this skit, they do.
They have a guy doing a Trump impression worse
It's the worst ever and guess what the joke is Trump stupid. Oh, what's this? He can't read really well if it's
Cdc is that a typo?
A project is that we should only lose a 34% of the country by the time, this goes our way.
Alright, more Trump, this is a joke that, and again, they use the rule of three's wrong.
Like, these people are so bad at jokes, they don't even structure the joke.
Even if it was witty and funny or interesting, they would fuck it up because they don't even have
a structure in jokes correctly.
We're doing an incredible job.
Tremendous is not right, Dr. Quinn Medicine woman.
It's Burke's, Mr. President.
What?
Spurks?
That's disgusting.
But it's a medical term, I guess.
All these doctors have been coming up to me and saying,
how do you know so much about this stuff?
You know all the terms, spurts,
it band-aids, it terminal syphilis.
Excuse me, Mr. President, the announcement?
Right, right.
I mean, and I am a terrible singer,
and I'm very upfront about that.
But this isn't even in the right register.
Like, it's not even in close to the key.
You don't even mean Trump as a very, there's the notes that he uses when he's speaking is very, it's, I don't know.
It's very unique, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
This guy's not even close.
He's not even in the neighborhood, you know what I mean?
So he goes, people are really impressed with all the medical terms I know, And they're trying to get you this joke of terminal syphilis.
Right?
That's the funny punchline.
But the gag before that and the list of threes is bandaid.
So they want everything to be a joke.
But nothing's a joke.
Like they think everything's a joke.
And yet nothing in this show is a joke.
Yeah.
Nothing is mildly amusing or humorous.
It just makes you angry.
And it reminds me of the kids in school
who were in like drama club.
And they all thought they were funny
and they all made each other giggle and laugh.
And everyone else said, I'm like,
you guys are fucking nerds.
What are you guys doing?
You're not really you're interesting.
Get up the stage.
I don't wanna see you at the stage anymore.
This was unbearable. All right, so one more thing on the Trump thing. I don't want to see you at the stage anymore. This was
unbearable. All right, so one more thing on the Trump thing. So you know, the Trump said, let's all ingest Lysol, remember the fuck people say he said, so they
take it one step further.
Because you know, the coronavirus, it looks like a cat toy. You know how they
show that coronavirus with a ball with like the things on it?
Scary, Grape.
Last week, I signed and read part of the order enforcing the national distribution of
Chlorox tubals and kicked off the feline ingestion program.
Um, just a gentle reminder to everyone.
Please don't eat live cats.
Don't listen to her.
The virus looks like a cat doing. Everybody knows it. So it's obvious
the best way to bat it out of your lungs is to send a kitty or two down there. I know an
old lady who swallowed a cat. She was fine with it.
If this was a two and a half second joke, maybe I'd let it slide. Yeah, they every, even
they're and I would let all of these jokes slide
if it was a one-off and other things around it were good. Yeah, because you're not gonna hit
every time. So please don't miss every single time like this. Yeah, yeah.
Shot game. Go ahead. Well, and don't even place. But so there's a joke where he's like, I saw these
doctors with charts. They should play instruments because they can play charts. But they they stretch
this out. This was a three and a half paragraph joke
that they explain over and over again.
It's like, I can't wait to never hear any of this ever again.
This was unfuckable.
You don't want to play that,
but my city that you have in here.
No, I'll fuck it up.
It's funny because...
I'll fuck it up, you got it.
It's funny because...
Crows, you and I...
Old Pennywise.
It's flexor time and it's motherfucker.
You and I play in bands, we've had horn sections,
we know about charts.
And yet, it wasn't funny.
And then they had to explain it to people
who wouldn't know about charts.
And maybe even less funny.
Do you know why I'm so clever?
Because this is what I just did.
Did you know there's multiple definitions
for a single word?
And I kind of suck youwed the line between those two
vaccinations isn't that great? Oh, holy shit. All right, let's get into more of their
Hilarious commentary on politics and of course they go out to the Republicans and they get those Republicans good
The Republicans decided to move their convention from North Carolina
Congratulations to the new host, the Kremlin.
Whoa, you got butt slam!
Ah!
And there!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Wow, you sure got their number.
Sophisticated.
Sophisticated humor.
You know what else is gonna get butt slammed?
It's Trump.
I don't know if you know this Grouch,
but the billionaire is now our president.
Wasn't really good at school.
When Trump heard it was D-DayDay he thought they were celebrating his college grades
whoa take that Trump I don't know if we'll ever recover
he thought D-Day was celebrating his grades come the fuck on dude you're not
just saying that on a podcast you're not gonna believe this shame is sent them to tweet and said spice up those jobs. Yeah
Yeah, it seems like you're punching up a little bit that time. That's jokes are fucking terrible.
Holy shit. All right, I want to talk about another bit they did and this is about Father's Day. Yeah.
So the the stage here and what you're gonna be hearing is Jared Kushner is talking to Ivanka.
And they're talking about what are we going to get for Trump for Father's Day?
And it's bizarre that this was scripted. All of this show is scripted. Yeah.
It's bizarre as was scripted because it sounds like one of the characters is not even listening
to the other character. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which happens on podcasts.
People just aren't listening.
They're not paying attention and they just start talking.
I don't think you heard of that person.
Anyway, Chris, what else did I say?
But this one's written down!
Yeah.
And they still have no idea what they're talking about.
I just don't know what to get dad for Father's Day.
He's been so generous with all these new responsibilities.
I need to make it a good one.
Oh! Daddy only deserves the best.
Maybe I could get him something special to thank him for letting me run his re-election campaign.
In addition to my other undeserved positions.
That could work.
I should get in something special. That could work. What does that mean?
He didn't explain what he was gonna get for.
It sounds like they write these
with those French magnets.
Yes, right.
Like I would've got.
But again, what they're trying to do
is they're trying to show their know-how.
And Jared Kuster has been giving
a lot of responsibilities lately.
Let's write a skit around that.
Well, that voice impression was,
it was vacuable, you gotta, yeah.
Dude, it sounds just like a,
I had no idea who was supposed to be at first.
I'm like, it's John Jr.,
what are they talking about?
And then it's okay, it's Jared Kusner.
This is the exciting conclusion to that sketch,
which is nonsense.
And this conclusion is Barker's.
Now, where were we?
Well, you were thinking we could get that.
Hey, here are you talking about Father's Day?
What?
Baron.
Baron?
Where did you come from?
I've been here since last Thursday.
Dad dropped me off because he said I was in the way.
And mom didn't care.
Do you?
Last Thursday.
Last Thursday.
Anyways, so where are we getting to for father's day
That's a real head scratcher there so the joke was
Barren's been there the whole time. Yeah, there you go. That's Thursday
Yeah, that's a strong. Yeah, that's a strong one hand on what the fuck are they talking about?
Yeah, this is not even in the neighborhood of comedy.
You don't even mean it's not.
It's not.
It's not like, it's not as if they're gonna figure it out.
You know, you hear those shows, you're like,
it's got potential.
They'll figure it out.
No.
No, they're not even sure how to structure a joke
or what makes jokes funny.
No, I have no understanding of that.
By the way, Kroge, I was thinking of this top Myers character,
which is, I can't believe this guy calls himself a comedian,
and he's so smug about how he's a comedian,
what a great job he has.
Can we do a bonus show where we break down
Make America and Nate again?
I'm in.
Like we do with Vic Hadley.
You just want him to pass away early.
Fine, whatever.
Yeah, I mean, if I have that type of power,
then I'm gonna use it.
Hey, use the W-A-T-P curse for good, not evil.
Are you?
Correct.
All right, so there's this other woman, Kristin Joseph.
And I want everyone to know that each of the comedians
on this show are at the exact same level.
Yeah.
The jokes are almost ubiquitous.
You can't tell they wrote the joke. They all found
each other at the bottom of the barrel. They did. All right, so here is the the Pope joke that I wrote down.
And God, this just like reminds me of Samantha B. I don't know if you ever watched Samantha B. I
don't. But whenever I see clips of from her show, it's always this joke where if you're all in on
the fact that Trump is the biggest
racist and dumbest idiot to ever exist, like if that's your premise going into it, then
these jokes work on top of that. But you have to be like, be all in on these ridiculous
promises and then you can say, the stupidest shit and get a reaction out of people. Here's
an example. When Trump heard the Pope Francis supports the Black Lives Matter movement, he was confused.
He usually agrees with white men who wear pointy white hats.
Yeah, there you go. That's a, that's a, that's a, that's a hell of a string to string
light. Yeah, yeah. Alright, well, let's hear her, let's hear a number of her terrible jokes
that are around here. Let's see what's going on.
Megan Kelly's mad HBO lifted gone with the Wind from an streaming platform.
Frankly, Megan, nobody gives it to him.
Nope.
We're waiting to hear Kellyanne Conway say it was interior gas. It was alternative crying spray.
Nope.
Lindsey Graham died as hair blonde, so Trump will love him as much as he loves Ivanka.
Trump asked Stephen Miller to write a speech on race relations, his hair blonde, so Trump would love him as much as he loves Ivanka.
Trump asked Stephen Miller to write a speech on race relations,
which is like asking Ted Cruz to write a speech on charisma.
Fucking thing sucks!
Thank you, Mr. O'Reilly.
This is what this show is.
That clip that we just played is just non-stop one-liners
that are not funny or witty or interesting.
And then, I mean, they go after Trump a lot,
but, Crouch, this is a real zinger.
Trump is leaving the White House basement
to go golfing again.
So, from one bunker to another.
Six five.
Whoa, I guess he's not very good at golf.
He's in the bunkers.
Get it, Crouch?
This guy sucks as a president.
And he's not even very good at golf!
Whoa! If Opie was on the show, he'd be like, DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE happens when William F. Buckley fucks a potato and send it to boarding school for 12 years. That's terrific.
When William F. Buckley, you fucks a name.
You really have a fuckley?
Fox a potato, number two.
And number three sends it to boarding school, the potato that he fought for 12 years
This is the 50s
The fuck is she talking about?
Yeah, he's been dancing for like a thing
Yeah, I mean
It's fucking wow. I don't know who this show is for. It's not for me. It's not for me
I can't wait to never listen to it again Carl
Yeah, but we do have to listen to Todd Myers stand up now. Yes. It's all on YouTube too. I don't think I'm giving
ten bucks like I did to Vic Hadley. Give him ten bucks anyway. That might be the secret
to his untitling demise. I don't know how to formula. Yeah, we can donate. That's fine.
I gave my name to Patrick Michael. Yeah. Oh, I got a lot of news about Patrick Michael
coming up for a little bit. Fantastic. I'm excited about that. But first, there's a
little bit more politopod.
Oh, is it?
I mean, yeah, dude, I'm sorry, man.
If I'm gonna sit here and pull all these clips,
I'm gonna fucking play them.
I like you.
You come in here like, I pull all these clips,
don't even play them.
I'm the opposite.
I'm like, no, I pull the clip.
I'm gonna play the clip.
It's very important to me.
So they're doing this thing at the end of this show
where they're talking about the protesters outside of the White House and you know, Trump went down into the bunker and they go and now we're switching over to a reporter.
And there's no joke here. The reporter for some reason says this and explain to me why this is entertainment. The Secret Service is still on the White House roof watching the protest rumor has it that Trump is fearing for his life in the basement bunker
It is uncertain what if any protocols are in place if the protest is storm the White House, but I for one can't wait to see it
What was the point of that they literally said said, let's go to a reporter.
The reporter goes, I hope the president's murdered.
Wow.
Okay.
Wow.
Weird.
I didn't hear that, but yeah, I see what he said.
Yeah, I just, I didn't know what the point of that was.
He's like, I can't wait for that to storm the White House, because there's no protocols.
Yeah, I don't know why you bother.
All right, let's talk about some real fun petotalk.
29 years, oh, 29!
The definition of petophilia is 29 year old penis into a 14 year old vagina.
Why cut off her head when you can chop off his dick?
Oh, there's gonna be pees of a giant of talk on today.
Shook.
Sorry about that, guys.
It got to be a trigger warning.
That was another part that was just all serious.
This woman was just like very upset about something that happened in Turkey or so.
I don't even know.
Sorry, Kai, I don't know.
I probably wasn't Turkey.
It was somewhere.
It was probably whatever state Doug Burmuzerai lives in.
Yes. Right. I know I would ever fucking dad said stay
Stay I don't know I couldn't find that a man. Is that real no
All right, I mean I
Do you have more clips to play on the show you're done?
I fucking you totally checked out a political I hated every minute of this you came in hot you killed off quick
Yeah, it's really bad
I'll just wait it was a slog to get through it was I agree I was like there's there's some shows for for WATP that like
I got to do in like 10 minute chunks because I just I can't even concentrate on it
You know what I mean? I do know what you mean? Yeah, this was a tough one. Yeah last thing I'll play and this is going back to that solvent green film noir. Yeah, episode
Just a hilarious joke
I've got to go to work now, so Simon's in his COVID-19 positive somewhere in this city
Do some research on a song got to find him before he comes a super spreader or worse a Trump campaign donor
Got him. Yeah.
So the joke there is that, you know,
we have this disease that kills people
and someone can become a super spreader
which would kill a lot of people or worse,
a person who donates to President Trump's campaign.
Yeah. Well, engaging in democracy is bullshit, Carl.
Oh my God.
Oh shit.
Holy shit. I don't know. Bullshit. Holy shit.
I don't know.
This was a tough one.
All right.
All right.
I want to clear something up because on last week's show, I played a clip of Opie explaining
why he hates Howard Stern.
Yeah.
And he says, you know, he said he was going to skull fuck my dad dad.
Yeah, which and I didn't and I didn't.
Yeah.
Explain that Opie is lying and I got called out for that.
But you would explain that before on this show. I've explained it before but I didn't explain it that I got called out.
Carl, you need to say it every fucking time. Every fucking time. By the way, by the way, OP is wrong about that.
Howard's certain not say he was gonna skull fuck OP's dead father. He was talking about mankind. I have the clip. They had
Inder Dice Clay in studio. And Inder Dice Clay is talking about how he goes over an opening
Anthony because Anthony does the Dice impression. Yeah. And Dice is now like bashing them.
So they're talking about opening Anthony and then he brings up man Colin and this happens.
I know, you know, man, Kyle from Chicago. He, I would say other than you, he's the only one.
And it was about eight years after I started doing your show
that I became friends with.
Okay.
Now, I know you and him got a thing and, you know,
just like comics have things,
but you know what I'm saying.
I'm just gonna fuck as far as you know.
Stop it.
I'm not taking that.
I'm gonna take this to the other's grave
and that's, you know what?
You see, that's where I get mad at you.
Because that's where I am.
But you can't do that. You know what I mean to have your beat. I know I know do I stop you but but that's you know that's
Somebody's on the beat he let you real on him. Yeah
But you that's where I draw the line that all right forget it. I'm just saying you know, I don't draw that one
Okay, I know you don't know how you can draw line he has a legitimate beat.
Yeah, but somebody got it. Somebody says somebody sends a box of
X-German to an 18 year old girl who works for me.
Why don't we go and go into the Mayacat thing?
Okay, I'm just telling you that's how to talk your father's skull.
Stop it. You're this way. I'm not here.
All right, go ahead.
He's my friend just like you.
I don't care who's friend you are. All right, all ahead. He's my friend. Just like you I don't care who's friend you all right. All right. That's one day. I got to do my thing, man
I know you got to do your thing you call me and you keep me on the phone for three hours. I got a fucking father's car
Or something really wrong with and that's something wrong with me
You want it?
So I would your future. All right, so the next time you're in OP Supercheck
And you just please explain to me,
he was talking about man cow.
He said it three fucking times.
It was about man cow.
OP's name was brought up in the middle of it.
There was a conversation about OP and Anthony.
Yeah.
But they were talking about man cow.
He doesn't want to fuck, skull fuck, OP's dad father.
OP wishes.
That someone would say that about me.
Correct.
He really does.
If Howard sursed it about me, I wouldn't shut about it be the fucking opening of the show
Oh, are you kidding me? I have my father killed just so how are you?
This is probably an appropriate time time for a quick idea. This is Larry Blidener and you are listening to who are these
Podcasts thanks Larry. I want to point out that still doing John still sucks at his job real quick. All right.
This is him starting off his show and he's introducing his guest who's internet
pelagrini and he blames this on his guests. They're on like a zoom chatter. Yeah, you're not going to enjoy this. Just FYI. So without further ado, let me welcome the beautiful
my new future ex-wife, Antoinette Paragene. I'm David.
You might the phone's off or something. No way.
We're not going to move so easily.
So I'll just give you a little comment on how to make you think.
I hope you're going to have to call these daywitchers.
We'll see who can lead.
What happens to me?
Darling, what are you doing?
I'm a cover hanger. And Twitter, he cannot hear you. What happened to me? What happened to me? What happened to me?
What happened to me?
What happened to me?
What happened to me?
What happened to me?
What happened to me?
What happened to me?
What happened to me?
What happened to me?
What happened to me?
What happened to me? What happened to me? Antoinette I'll just put it on here until we could hear her So I'm looking at his YouTube video where this happened done. Yeah, and sale hovered wrote good call
I'm not editing out that horrific technical issue
Shit what the fucking moron yeah, did he join Sonic you?
That's insane he's taking podcasts to get strange new directions dude
I I remember seeing a on TV when I was a kid they showed when Jimmy Hendrix is fucking guitar
Yeah, right broken into pieces. It sounded better than the suffering John
Yes, this is very true. I
Want to bring on my friend cripple Jesus cripple Jesus. We are gonna do a segment with him
Let me see if I can pull him up here. He's been waiting patiently in our discord
cripple Jesus you there buddy. Can you hear me Carl? I can hear you. I can hear you great, buddy
So I have found this job. It's called the handicap and
Carl you're gonna be disappointed to be because it is not about what hand jobs
That sucks because it is not about what hand jobs. Ah, that sucks.
So this is a podcast, and Cripple Jesus wanted to review this
because as we all know, Cripple Jesus has a podcast
that we talked about here,
and I don't if you still do that or not.
It's been long, disbanned, and I really just wanted
to prove to you guys that I'm not the worst
Cripple podcast you're up to.
Well, I think you nailed it with this one.
This is a show called Handicast,
a disabling look at pop culture.
Wow.
And I wanted to clear right now
because crippled Jesus brought some clips.
I think it's time for a...
Rip a fight! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I Want to ask you a question Carl before we play this first clip. Yeah, can you speak retard? I do not speak retard now
Okay, so I was on everybody knows I talk about this so I I had to go to
School on a short bus every morning, So I'm actually pretty fluent and retard.
But I play the intro so everybody can hear
what we're talking about.
I like that.
I don't know who named your clips,
but every single one has the word tired of it.
I name the clips.
I set them to my buddy Ram because he's a tech guy.
Yeah.
Alright, so this is Tardin Trial.
You think you know me.
La From Lucas' King Place.
It's the real champ.
Not according to the stuff that I told you.
Fuck you.
It's Edgar, the Lucas King the belt which I
own because I am a dick.
Till your chip.
Well she will see it
personally.
Okay.
Amazing.
Now there is little bit.
There's a little part in this clip where he makes retard noises.
Did you guys catch that?
Yeah, it was the entire clip.
I didn't notice that.
Uh, this guy makes suddenly sounds like a Shakespeare poet.
Yeah.
The sound quality of this show was distractingly bad.
So this guy, Lucas King, I believe, is the handy capable host of this podcast.
Okay.
And him and his buddy talk about rustling.
Of course.
What's the talk about?
We're talking about rustling.
There's some rustling talking there.
How about that?
The world rumbens coming up.
We got to talk about that.
Of course.
Yeah, we're going gonna get into that later
But I just want to add it's already hard enough to get laid
Be in the cripple. I can imagine how hard that would be if you're in an open wrestling fan
Yeah, right. Yep. I'm gonna wheelchair also have a podcast about wrestling
Oh, so you never want to get laid okay? That makes sense
but uh this I guess about wrestling. Oh, so you never want to get laid. Okay, that makes sense. But the next clip I have here is called Ergotard.
Did you want to play that one?
Yeah, Ergotard, this is funny.
I was gonna pull the same clip
and then I saw that you had it
because I love it when people just embarrassed themselves
on their own show.
Yeah, like when you have your own show,
you do not have to embarrass yourself.
In fact, you should go out of your way not to.
Imagine that.
Imagine that.
If we flew in it, like into the storm, like into this middle of the storm.
Is that a song?
I have no idea.
What?
Into the storm.
That into the storm.
Sounds like a show.
Are you making it?
I think I am.
I think I'm confusing a song with like the late 80s.
Just in general.
Doesn't sound like a late 80s song.
It does.
Cause I'm gonna fly.
Yeah, but it was weird.
Like into the storm.
We're in the middle.
Right.
Good.
Starts playing air guitar.
Yeah.
Oh, this is rocking out.
It's, they got all disabled in there.
They got a retard doing it.
Yeah.
Sound effects.
I'd rather be in the wheelchair than be the co-host.
Can I tell you how stupid these people are?
They get into Star Wars talk.
And Star Wars talk is something I can get behind
just to some degree here.
One of the things that you wanna do
when you do a podcast, Croge,
and I'm explaining this to you specifically,
is a little bit of prep work.
You know how the I can get with that?
Yeah, do a little bit of prep.
Know what you're gonna talk about.
Maybe study it a little bit, have some notes. Yeah, I should. I'm gonna talk about Star Wars. Of course, I'm gonna talk about maybe study it a little bit have some notes
Did you see the rumors of what was supposedly the script?
No, I for change. I said it to you so so he wants to talk about the fact that episode
Night had a whole different script that they didn't use.
And the guy goes, did you see what was supposed to be in the script? He goes, no.
I said it, he's like, man, I fucking sent it to you.
It's one of the topics, there's only two topics on this show. Star Wars and Royal Rumble.
The guy goes, did you read the thing I said, no.
Come on, you put on a podcast, what's a quarter?
You could fucking read a note that your friend sent you before the show.
You know your podcast is bad when your co-host doesn't even want to do prep for it.
Right. And then these people are so stupid. And I don't mind people talking about Star Wars as much as you guys probably do.
Cribble G's new Star Wars fan, though.
No, I am not a virgin. I actually... crippled you start with a little no i have a lot of virgin
alright i'm in the minority here
but i'm going to say this for anybody else out there is less than no one is
who's actually on the show right now
but this is where he shows how we turn the actually is
so last year i came out and a lot of people like it i like i like it and the
more i watch it the more it holds up although that casino seems a little
pretty yeah drags a little bit.
He thought West Chen I was a good movie.
The movie is fucking high garbage!
It's somewhere...
In fact, Episode 9, what they had to do was write a script to apologize for Episode 8.
There are literally parts of the movie where Luke Skywalker looks at the camera and says,
I was wrong.
Because they pissed people out so much of them, so they this guy goes,
I don't know, but here, cares cares that was excited about this as I am and then it goes out to say how great the
character Rose was in episode eight which was the worst part of that movie. They all start well
I guess going on like an adventure at the beginning like all of your famed all the favorite
Rose by the way had way more in this of course they before they diminished her and that hurt me so
much like yeah she's gonna be
at the base yeah I was like she got joy joy oh man she got joy joy yeah like that sucks undeserved
joy joy deserved to be joy joy she did she get joy yeah rose was the worst character imagine a
petite Asian woman is going to save the galaxy it was the dumbest premise plus she's a social justice warrior who's worried about animals getting whipped.
Meanwhile, the first order is blowing up planets.
It was the stupidest fucking premise.
These guys are like, I want to see more of Rose in episode 9.
Why?
I'm sorry, cripple Jesus, this death is me off.
I honestly, I think, and I truly believe this, if you use jar jar as a verb four times in
one sentence, you should be like, that's hard.
That's the way I feel.
Oh my god.
These people are so fucking stupid about their takes on Star Wars.
It's just the opposite of what Eddie would you think about.
And then they don't even know.
They explained that Kylo Ren.
I guess in the original script, he was supposed to go somewhere and do something
and he finds a thing and they explain that here.
As he's walking to try to find this thing, which is the same thing.
Is that what's it called?
I can't take that triangle, I think.
Yeah, and that is a thing.
Yeah, that's the thing.
Right.
He finds a thing, it is a thing. You know what I'm talking about, the thing. It's a thing. It is a thing. Yeah, that's the thing. Right. He finds a thing. It is a thing.
You know what I'm talking about the thing?
It's a thing.
It is a thing.
Carl, I love that movie where they find the thing and then it's the heavens.
I was watching a porno yesterday.
This chick had this thing.
It was a thing.
It was a thing.
And I was like, whoa, that's a big thing.
You guys know what I'm talking about?
And the guy I was there. The guy I was there. I think I was there. The guy with big thing. Yeah, you guys know what I'm talking about and I was there the guy was there
I was with the guy with the hair the guy saw the guy saw the thing. Yeah, the guy with the hair saw the thing
You know what I'm sorry. What else you got this crippled Jesus up take it over I apologize
So I wanted to get into some
Wrestling talk. Yeah, let's get into the wrestling talk. I do believe that equip is labeled dry
I do believe that quip is labeled dry vagina's everywhere. That's coming with me.
No, I don't think so.
So we play our game.
We do.
And we play for a plastic belt.
Yes, you do.
And it is one of my favorite things to do seasonally.
Four times a year minimum.
But there is something you might not make me.
I might not make me and my brother seems pretty interested
Okay, that's fine. I get that I get that I did suggest that we do fast lane, which would be hilarious
crippled you just explain this to me because they talk about they have this plastic
Rustling belt that they're trying to win for for each other they play a game. Are they talking about a video game? What are they talking about? I couldn't
figure it out. I think what they do, this is very convoluted and confusing, but I
think what they do is they pick who's gonna win the pre-scripted match and
then based off of that winner, you get a point. Oh, so in other words, they're
watching Royal Rumble.
And then they say, I think Edge is gonna win.
I think Ciam Punk is gonna win.
And then if they predict it correctly,
they get a point and then they win a belt with points.
Yeah, I think that's how it works.
I'll be honest with you, Carl.
I was skipping around because I couldn't
subject myself to this.
So I don't know if that's right. But you
subjected us to this, you fucking asshole. By the way, this was Cripple Jesus' idea.
Croz, did you listen to the podcast? You did it. I really, really, I just wanted to
paint my own ego on my favorite show. That's what the fair enough is. I'm glad you're doing this.
I appreciate it. Now my last clip is when the retard wins the belt. Yes.
This is Tard is the champion of Virginia. Is that the clip I'm playing?
Hear that sound? And guess it's plastic. That's sound of a champion. That's the sound of the
Valstain right where it needs to be or the right here at eight legacy of a child's toy. But
otherwise. So let's explain what happened in our annual tournament for the battle smash.
Now I don't think that's the sound of a champion. I think that's the sound of every woman rejecting you.
But I did like the little burn that his co-host did there.
Even he had enough of it.
So what happens in this show is they're talking about the Royal Rumble and they're all excited about it.
And then it cuts to like a day later or a week later, whatever it is.
And they come back and say I
want the belt and then they talk about yeah all of that shit and my least favorite thing is people
predicting who's gonna win it's one thing if you're watching sports yeah and you don't know who's
gonna win you mean when it's not the outcome isn't predetermined right right like wrestling's what you're talking about. Right. Like wrestling is the weirdest thing when they start going, oh,
I think this is going to happen. That's going to happen. I can't do any other. Is there
any other dream on that you would want to show up? Yeah, bugs. But it's not going to
happen. But I do think Edge might be a possibility. And I would be cool. I like Brian to win.
But if Edge comes in, I'd just win it. That'd be amazing. That would be awesome. It sounds like Sam Roberts podcast at that point.
So it's like fan fiction for throw Rossi.
I think punk is gonna come and if he's gonna have a chair or the rough is gonna get distracted
like whatever who cares what you think.
Someone else is gonna write it.
It doesn't matter.
Yeah.
Well you know you could just go to Google and probably Google who's gonna win.
Yeah, you probably got it.
All right, I got to take a quick break to announce something.
Attention, Shabbard.
Outside the day we have Cribble Bay.
Cribble Bay, outside.
Oh, this podcast made me have hope because I actually,
I could sway pussy compared to these guys.
Crible Jesus, you are a man amongst boys,
and I went to this podcast.
At the end, this kid, Lucas King,
I don't know how all this guy is,
but he turns into a real chuckle fuck
with his buddies as they're kind of teasing him and he's kind of like, oh guys
Oh Jesus friends like these you need enemies, right? This is so obnoxious. So yeah, this has been a cast guys
Tell us how to contact you. Oh, yeah, I forgot about the information
Do it there is no
forgot about the guy.
Ooh.
We're on Facebook and we're on Twitter.
Wonderful!
Yeah, how?
Did I snap you?
Yeah, are you one snap?
No, I'm not a snap.
What about Paris Goat?
No.
Instagram?
No.
Hmm.
Seems a little dated.
All right, it's been head cast. We'll see you when we see you. I hate my friends. No, that's a fun ribbing, huh?
Carl, I know you talk about a lot. You shouldn't just make a podcast for you and your friends
And I think that's what this podcast is
Well, if it is just for them, they're not listening to it either
That's the point of being bothered is people who make these podcasts. They don't go back at us to do it. So why would anybody else?
It's crazy what people put out there. I thought cripple cast was bad when you guys had me
What people put out there I thought cripple cast was bad when you guys had me on
No, I think you win this one buddy
in fact You know what if I if I was prepared I would do something like this
Oh, cripple Jesus, buddy. Thank you so much for coming on and sharing with us. Handy cast a disabling look at pop culture. Great to talk to you, man.
Yeah, yeah. Thanks for having me on, guys. I always like to bring in new
tards to the show.
You guys are like, you guys are like tired detectives.
You do a real deep dive. And I hope this guy comes up again because he's a cringe machine.
Oh, can I get you to record an ID for me real quick?
And you say, hi, I'm crippled Jesus.
And you're listening to who are these podcasts.
It's like Larry did for us.
Sure.
Hi, I'm crippled Jesus.
And you're listening to who are these podcasts?
Perfect. Awesome. Thank you so much, buddy. Thank you for coming on. Hi, I'm crippled Jesus and you're listening to who are these podcasts?
Perfect.
Thank you so much, buddy. Thank you for coming on anything you want to plug or promote?
I'm on Twitter.
I'm trying on Twitter at crippled Jesus.
I make a lot of jokes about my legs not working.
So you like what you heard from me on there.
All right.
We definitely will.
Thanks, buddy.
Thanks for coming on and for sharing that show.
I said it over to Crozier five days ago.
He did a good bother to listen to it, but.
It came with the description.
Cripple Jesus is going to review the show.
You don't have to pull any clips.
And when I see that, those men are worried.
I was actually planning on it.
It took me so fucking long to choke through,
politapod. Yeah, I know. I can't take a mortgage. So I went on
their website that I promoted at the very end of it. And it's like a
Ellipson address. And on the contact page, the first thing they have is their
website URL. You do not have to put your website URL on your website. Yeah, there's everyone know that.
I just threw that up for you.
Yeah, you know, found it.
I got it.
I'm there.
All right, Kroge, I know that you probably have a few things to cover, but I have to, have to talk about what's going on with my buddy Patrick Michael.
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me you don't like my show. Because that's absurd. I got some stuff from last week if you want to start
Set a table. Yeah, sounds good. So I'll make this real quick. The 9 minute podcast boy our body,
James is just really
Boy, you really lost it. He really lost it. So he had episode 72, which was like last Friday, I guess. Okay, more than we could go.
Number 17, this shouldn't be for free no more.
You know, if you're going to troll me, you're at least going to pay me to do so. Okay, you're not going to get it for free.
If these people think I'm an idiot, they should at least be giving me five bucks a month for it, right?
If you like my stuff because it's so bad, you should at least pay for it,
okay? That's just what it is. But we do it not for free, okay? Not for free. And the
lengths that I've went to make these shows a quality to listen are another reason why I don't,
I'm just not interested in giving it out for free
anymore.
Now, I don't know if you caught this, but he doesn't want to give it out for free anymore.
I can't imagine who he was talking about.
These people that don't that listen to a show because it was bad.
But shameless versus the English language, tell me more about the lengths you have went
to.
Yeah, you're so listenable for real.
And I'm sorry, let's class three.
So number 18, he puts in so. Well, let's blast through these number 18
He puts in so much work. He's worth five bucks. It's just too much work too many hours
For me to sit here sit around and pretend like it's not worth
$5 a month. Okay
Does he not know how this works like dude you voluntarily
Spend your hours you should be
sleeping in a closet talking nonsense that you don't prepare for. Like what about
that is work five hours. It's just because you spent a lot of time doing it. You
know what I mean? I just spent a lot of time mowing along when I used to have a
lot. I'm not working five bucks. You know what I mean? So I have a
customer this episode also,
because I found it fascinating.
Yeah, it really was.
There might be a little bit of overlap,
but this is him shot out of a cannon right at the beginning,
exclaiming that he is no longer going to just be
putting out his podcast or forget it's just,
it's too good for him to do that.
So what I think is going to happen with the introduction
of the only fans being being available to
podcast to
content creators I figured you know what guys it's about time. It's about time we expand so today we've expanded and
Who knows what the future is going to hold for these episodes or this podcast coming out for free?
these episodes or this podcast coming out for free because I can't help but to want to put the show behind a paywall just to avoid all the trolley people out there.
You know, if you're going to troll me, you're at least going to pay me to do so.
Okay, you're not going to get it for free.
So what I'm thinking is I think the future of me podcasting as a whole is out of here.
We're going behind a paywall.
We're going somewhere else.
He's making bold moves.
And I do want to make an announcement.
I have signed up for the patreon.com slash pod culture.
As many people saw, people will talk about it in the discord and I are subreddit.
Yes.
I will subscribe.
It is worth it to me.
Although I will say that I was able to get the episodes without subscribing because people were sharing them. But I think that's fucked up if I'm
listening to shows. He's putting me on a pay wall and I'm not paying for it. I wonder why someone
wants to do that to me. Yeah. So I signed up and I'm paying. But he says, I'm doing this because the
trolls are just grabbing my stuff. Yeah. And if they want to do that, they should at least have to pay.
And I wonder,
but what about your fans though?
Why would you do this to your fans?
And this is a response to that.
And I'm talking strictly on the trolls.
If you listen to this show because you're a fan,
and you don't have the means to come over to Patreon,
I continue to stay up with the show.
Well, sorry, listen to old episodes.
Don't know what to tell you, don't care.
And I really don't, guys.
I really, really don't.
I don't care if you follow me to Patreon or to bad brain studios or only fans.
It doesn't matter.
He does not care about his fans.
Yeah, and this is the answer.
He does episode after episode where he's like, I'm just, I'm, look guys, I don't really
have a plan, but I just want to talk to you the fans and I'm here because of the fans.
Like he talks about his fans as though he's, you know, supported by them.
Hey, it's people like you that make people like me, you guys.
So that's why I'm here in the nine minute pot.
Fuck you guys.
I don't care if you follow me to Discord
or fucking Patreon or whatever the fuck.
I don't get the fuck.
I don't care if you don't follow me or not.
Fuck you guys.
It's insane.
And he's got a business model on his head now.
So typically what you would do,
and this is the path that I took,
is you'd build up some listeners. You'd have a listener ship or a following, and then you'd say,
all right, I'll tell you what, I'm going to continue the show just like you guys have always
loved. We'll continue to evolve. And then if you really like it, give me a few bucks.
Here's some bonus episodes, some extra content going on. This guy's got to flip around.
He's like, I have no fans. Nobody likes my show. And if you want to hear it, you can't.
Yeah. I don't know if that's going to work, but he's got to figure to round. He's like, I have no fans. Nobody likes my show. And if you want to hear it, you can't.
Yeah. I don't know if that's going to work, but he's got to figure it out. Is there anything math?
You know, so it's obviously better to go to only fans, to go to Patreon, where, you know, 10, 15 people paying 10 bucks a month.
Not bad at all. Not bad at all, especially where I'm already at. So, to get up to those, and that's not even that extreme, but I'd imagine I can get there with ease
Because I'm getting an early I feel like I'm getting an early on the only fans thing
As just a regular content creator. Don't need it. I
Pulled it same thing because yeah, I'm getting it early
podcast
Your decade later. Well also he doesn't understand how it works.
He's thinking that people are going to only fans looking for podcasts they have to pay
for.
So it's not that they know about Patrick Michael or they know about Dead Town or any
of his amazing shows, there's he's just going to be there and people are going to find
him and just start giving him money.
And he's had a Patreon since the day that we discovered it, which in a lot of ways was
the first day of my life, Carl.
Correct. He's had a Patreon this whole time. Correct. Which in a lot of ways was the first day of my life, Carl. Correct.
He's had a picture in this whole time.
No one's gonna be gonna find it.
He's never had anyone sign up
and now he's like, well fuck you.
Now you gotta pay me and join everybody else
who doesn't exist.
And he brings about making money
because he talks a lot about I have a new microphone.
I bought this, I bought that.
It's all from the money I'm making for my podcast.
Guys, I make money podcasting.
You guys say I'm a deadbeat, I make money.
He goes, if I can get 10 to 15 people
paying 10 bucks a month, I'll be doing better
than I ever have.
I'll be able to do that math pretty easily.
That's not impressive.
For the amount of time he's putting it to this,
that seems like a really bad use of your time.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
Walmart needs greaders.
And then to be all bitter about it.
I said four hours a day making this shit and you
should know, no one wants you to do that. No one cares. He is so confused. This episode, I am poor
people to check this out. I know you said episode 77. 72. 72. Nine minute podcast. He talks for eight
minutes and it's the same thing over and over. Like all of these clips are the same thing. He gets
himself so confused. I'm not one of these people are the same thing. You get to get to yourself so confused.
I'm not one of these people that's complacent.
That's why whenever somebody says something negative to me
and leaves a shitty comment wherever they leave it.
And if I happen to view it, of course,
it makes me feel a particular way.
But the way that it makes me feel isn't,
I'm a piece of shit and I should give up.
It makes me feel like, oh, this guy doesn't like what I do.
Well, I'm going to continue to do what I do and try to get better to sway him to my team? Of course, that's
how I feel, because I really don't care at all. But what it does when you see the negative
comments is you try to do better, you try to grow rather than, hey, everybody loves my
stuff. If that's the case, if everybody likes what you do, you don't have any reason to
do better. You don't have any reason to do better You don't have any reason to improve you can be complacent in your greatness, okay?
But that doesn't happen in today's world
First of all holy fuck is he confused?
He's so confused second of all his kids are wailing throughout the entire nine minutes
I know you can hear him kicking up. I get the fuck away from me. Yeah, I'm trying to fucking you know
Why aren't these kids sleeping?
He podcasts between 2 a.m. and 5 a.m. He's made this very clear You can hear him kicking him, like, get the fuck away from me. I'm trying to fucking yell. Why aren't these kids sleeping?
He podcasts between 2am and 5am.
He's made this very clear.
The size he does that.
You're not violent.
I don't believe a word.
Do you think Patrick Michael's a liar?
Is that what you're saying?
I'm saying he's an embellisher.
Oh, he might have been a bit more handsome than that.
He puts a little pepper on the truth every now and then.
No, no.
Garnish, you know what I'm saying?
He is so confused, he wants to pretend that it doesn't hurt his feelings when people tell him he sucks. Yeah. Oh, Garnash, you know what I'm saying? He is so confused.
He wants to pretend that it doesn't hurt his feelings when people tell him he sucks.
Yeah.
But it does.
It really does.
It does a lot.
And he throws out number 22 which fucking blew my mind.
And yeah, you know what?
I might be the only one laughing, but I know for a fact that I am only doing this podcast
by myself.
Ergo.
Hmm.
I'm gonna be the only one laughing and you dumb son of a bitch.
Ha ha.
Whoa, take a trip down that mental tunnel
cause it's fucking amazing.
He's so proud of himself
that nobody else does anything for his podcast.
That's not a badge of honor.
Yeah, seriously.
Guys, you won't believe this.
This terrible podcast full of random thoughts
that actually contradict each other. I did this all by myself well you might want to
pretend you're reading your kids book report because I would have more respect for
yeah well he does he takes his intellectual property very seriously Carl
here's number 20 oh boy people out there have been able to take the stuff and
they're probably using it in their shows probably using my content in their
shows which is my intellectual property.
And we'll be speaking about that very soon.
Don't you worry.
Can we talk just for a tiny little minute, can I take you on a little trip into James's
intellectual property?
I'll make this so quick.
So number 73, after he goes on for his podcast's entire episode, pay for my shit, pay for my
shit, pay for my shit, then he comes back and does it like a regular thing.
Here's 26.
Okay.
Intellectual property.
This is one of those episodes, like many episodes
that I do over the show where I can't,
I didn't have any real idea of what I wanted to talk about
when I got in here.
It is a podcast you guys and I,
this is more of just a trial run,
a trial sequence to see how well the editing goes
and how fast I can do it and get it out there and just see what the numbers are when
9 minute podcasts comes back to YouTube.
This dude, it's like when your grandma sent you an email that just says test.
And he's like, but that's what it is.
And it's great.
Like it's, I'm only here to test the editing
and see what it does.
27 more intellectual property.
I can't believe it's not Charo!
Egg McMuffin, please!
My grandma, new Murl Hagger.
Don't be shy.
There's only one share.
I wonder what real animals think about the Lion King movie?
I play this for my kids this morning and I quote,
seriously dad, what the fuck?
Yeah, it's bizarre.
When you watch the Nightmare of Podcasts on YouTube,
he puts three minutes in the beginning of these random thoughts
where he's making faces, he's being goofy,
and it's all embarrassing. It's so crazy.
It's all cringey and impossible to watch.
I mean, 28, it just goes on and on,
it doesn't make any sense.
My friend's mom was almost killed by a bird.
I used to shove Q-tips way too far into my skull.
That I believe you.
Dude, sweet.
Can you see me?
That's his beauty. Maven Hamlish. My doctor's office is in a basement Sweet. Okay. Can you see me?
That's his beauty.
Maven Hamlish.
My doctor's office is in a basement with a bunch of dogs.
I, okay.
What are we to do with this information?
It's entertaining.
He's a content creator, crush.
Uh, last.
He's a content creator and you got to pay for his content.
Last little bit of intellectual property and I'm worth $5 and I put a lot of time into this and you should all be paying fee number 30. I wonder how many people
get? Oh, never 30. You see you screwed me up there. I was I thought we were going to never
$29. I heard you. Hey Tony. If I could I would be you. Hey Tony. You're the one and only tiger.
Hey Tony, you're the one and only tiger. The one and only taste.
How's that place?
They're far than good.
They're great.
He did that on purpose.
He edited that.
He sat down and did that and said, that's cool.
All right, so he's going to the Suthering John route because he talks about the intellectual property. Yeah, I have that's cool. All right, so he's going the Suthering John route
because he talks about the intellectual property.
Yeah, I have that clip too.
I'm gonna point it only because it's a little bit longer
and he tags on some threats,
which is very Suthering John ask.
And I just want to point out,
can anything that he puts out be labeled intellectual?
Yes, sir.
Can anything be labeled that word?
Well, his friend's mom was one skilled by Bird. I mean that's possible. Alright, let's listen to this because this is
this is shot like this is big, shavest news in my event. Yeah. This is we're we're unveiling
a whole new era of Patrick Michael with us. And I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry because it's been
too long that I've been working on these
shows, working on these podcasts where, you know, people out there have been able to take the stuff
and they're probably using it in their shows, probably using my content in their shows, which is
my intellectual property. And we'll be speaking about that very soon. Don't you worry. And if that is
happening, if somebody has done that and without my permission, of course,
we'll be talking, we'll be talking very soon,
because I have, you know, I'm talking to some people
right now, we're finding out what we can do about it.
So, guess what, the answer is nothing,
you fucking moron, you're not the first person
to threaten the attorneys at me, you fucking idiot,
he's going full-stuttering John, it didn't work for
a centering John, it got way worse for him. What do you want this route?
Yeah, this is not a good it guess what I watched the latest breakfast this dessert
And he's going full-suttering John cream. I've jewel cream. I'll jewel a jebarr
Cream I'll jeweled you bunch It's unbelievable Like people said a thousand times when they say it wrong Dream about you will you bond?
It's unbelievable
He's turning into a centering job. This is not a good move when world's collage
Smart moves
Yeah, all right, you're probably wondering because he does have 32 podcasts. Yeah, you're probably wondering
Which ones are gonna go behind the payway? I was wondering Right? Like, what are we gonna be to listen to for free going forward?
Because as you know, I love that town.
Yeah. It's a bad show by far.
Let's find out.
But I am also taking all of it to OnlyFans.com.
Slash bad brain studios.
Oh no.
Or simply at bad brain studios.
That's where I'm gonna start putting all
of the podcasting that I do.
Whether it's true crime, whether it's ghost stories, whether
it's creepy tales from the past, historical educational lesson, whatever it may
be, it's going over there. Because I'm just not I'm not one of these people that's
going to accept the idea that you can use my stuff without any consequence or
view my stuff without any consequence or view my stuff without any sacrifice.
That's amazing.
Is that crazy?
That's a way to talk about it.
Does he not know how the internet works?
There are people a thousand times more talented than him
putting content on YouTube and not expecting people to pay for it.
And you know why they do that, Grooch?
To build up a fan base.
So they can monetize it in other ways.
This fucking idiot thinks that the way to make money
is to put out a terrible product that nobody likes
and then charge them for it.
It's crazy. Yeah.
I mean, it's working on me, but.
Yeah, I'm only at the $3 a month tier.
So yeah, I didn't go to the $10.
Which is crazy.
You can do the $3 a month
tier on pod culture patreon.com slash pod culture which I I am a member I'm a proud
patreonie and you can see some of the episodes but not all of them the ones where he's talking
shit you have to move up to the $10 tier what I know it's insane so he's actually like all right
$3 I'll give you these two shows but for $7 more you get these two over here.
Like what the fuck?
And the reason for that is because he has to be paid to be an idiot.
You know, I'm not Brendan Schalb. I'm not one of these guys is gonna put out my content.
Looking like an idiot, only to continue looking like an idiot when you can get paid for it.
If these people think I'm an idiot, they should at least be giving me five bucks a month for it, right?
Right?
Uh-huh.
That fucking laugh gets me every time.
Yeah, it's the-
I love that clip because it's like-
He's almost aware.
Yeah, right.
I saw like an idiot, but I should get paid.
Yeah, that's a weird way to phrase it.
It's a very weird way to phrase it.
Do you have more on this, uh,
9 Minute Podcast episode?
All right, so I went ahead and checked
out this breakfast dessert. Oh, really? Yeah. And you know, breakfast dessert has three
segments. Does it? Yeah. We've covered this. He had his buddy Luke on. Luke, the amazing
guitarist, was on. But before Luke came on, he did joke of the day. But, Kroge, I have good
news for you, buddy. Yeah. There's not one joke, not two jokes, three jokes.
And I believe in the past, they were jokes
out of a joke book.
Yeah, a really old one.
Yeah, a really old joke book that's not funny.
I think that he wrote all three of these jokes.
And you tell me what you thought of what he was.
Oh, I agree.
Again, the music you're gonna hear is not mine.
This is all his production.
He makes himself sound like an idiot.
I don't have to do that.
First joke of the day.
My grandfather used to say, first come, first serve.
That's probably why one of my uncles died of malnutrition.
He just wasn't fast enough.
Second joke of the day.
Do wizards use magic carpets?
Seems make the most sense.
Third joke of the day.
If raccoons and pandas look like the burglars of the wild,
then penguins must be flightless birds. Hey, so
Politopod already has 10 writers they might need an 11th. Yeah, so
Patrick Mike you might want to reach out to those guys. Chris
Pass you those pills.
Dude, that's the that's the joke. That's the joke part of the show.
Wow.
Wow.
Do wizards use magic carpets?
How fucking infantile do you have to be to even cut off of that?
That's so stupid.
Dude, how many times a day do you think that wizards, like how many times does that thought
even come into your mind?
I think a wizard sleeves quite often. Okay, not so much magic carpets see watching a lantern
I got a joke was about the Lion King so you're right. Oh,
Dude watching fucking Disney plus all day. Yeah, Karly's paying the seven bucks a month. Yeah, holy shit
You turn into material. Yeah.
Wow.
All right, Chris, what else you got out of our friend Patrick?
Did you want to talk about the bonus episode at all?
I do a little bit, and I'll tell you why.
So we have the bonus episode, Rhee.
It's an hour long, but it's only 40 minutes of him
talking, and then there's that hair for 20 minutes.
And it's mostly him talking mad shit about Matt Lewinsky, the podcast hitman.
Yeah.
Matt Lewinsky is a guy who fucks with him quite a bit.
I was, I put myself in this weird.
I was like, okay, let's just, let's pretend, right?
Mm-hmm.
I'm a famous fan.
I like this guy.
I want to pay for his content.
Let's see what he's got off me.
I put in my, I'm finding out now $10
Holy fuck. It's time for us to get that episode and then
you get
Him just
Frogging at the mouth like a rabid fucking dog
This fucking guy fuck him. I can't fucking believe this bullshit. He's such a child must for an hour and
Then that's it
For an hour and then that's it
I mean holy shit there are people who follow whtp very closely. Yeah, who wouldn't know who met Lewinsky And he talks about math for 40 minutes straight who the fucking possibly know what he's talking about
How could you possibly know so can I start off with and I swear to God
I love this so much
Shavist versus the English language he loses every round 36 oh boy
I gotta go to a whole another board give you a second
Edyocracy cannot be reasoned with
Edyocracy is a movie. It's not a war
EdyC
Democracy any you see when he's war?
But even that doesn't make any sense.
And he's a magician.
Wow.
It's a condition.
It's like, you've reasoned with an idiot.
Not...
Crouch.
Okay.
That might be one of my favorite clips I've ever got to play with.
I got it.
E.D.
ocracy cannot be reasoned with.
That's amazing.
It's amazing.
Oh wow.
So he goes on this whole thing about people who talk shit online are bad.
He's just been an hour talking shit online.
He's 35.
Yes.
Like bro, you're talking shit online.
But you are, James.
Anybody that does that, you're a pussy.
That's it.
You're weak.
You're small.
Your father wasn't good to you ever.
You know, you're upset, you're probably a stepson.
A lot of reaction.
Most of these people that want to run their mouth online,
so that degree, right now,
whether or not funny, they're not making a joke.
You're not, you're not making jokes, well.
Well, they're scaredy cats, okay.
Who are we talking about, James?
Who the fuck are we talking about here?
Now, he can't even talk shit online. He has to go behind a pay world to talk shit online.
Correct. That's like dude, I talk mad shit about producer Chris on my lack Twitter account.
Right.
That's what anybody see.
What the fuck are what?
He literally announces no one's gonna hear this.
Yeah.
He knows there's only four people on his Patreon.
Oh, it's amazing.
So he's like, no one's gonna hear this so I can say whatever I want
And he's going and you pussies are talking shit out in the public like well
That's the opposite of being a pussy. What you're doing is being a pussy. Yeah, talk shit and
So here's my question
Matt Lewinsky to listen to this or not
Why Matt Lewinsky to listen to this or not?
This is $23. Yeah, listen, but listen.
Unless Matthew is willing to shell out $10 at least once,
he'll never hear this episode.
And that's what I like. That's what I like because
the goal is to get him to listen to it.
So what is it?
Come over here and listen to this episode
and then see how much you want to talk to that.
Alright, I was wrong.
In one sentence, I want him to never listen.
The goal is to get him to listen.
That was one sentence.
Crouch, I was wrong.
I said he didn't have a good business model
but he has a brilliant business model.
What he's gonna do is talk shit about every single person on the internet and
dedicate a single episode to them so that every single person has to give him 10
bucks in order to hear him talking shit. That is brilliant.
Yeah, boy.
Yeah, I'm gonna talk mad shit for 40 minutes. If you wanna hear it, give me 10 bucks.
Like, okay, I have, yeah, I kinda wanna hear that.
Yeah.
Kinda wanna hear you talking shit about me for 40 minutes.
I mean, this is a commercial.
What we are doing right now, we are shilling for Shamus.
Go to his page, try to pay up, because this is to hear.
Pay him because I am on there.
I can't get enough of Shamus, and I might even join his only fans.
I have to start in the only fans.
That was my, that was my wheel of counter-wise.
That was your wheel?
I haven't done that yet.
I gotta get on that.
Oh. Maybe I'll put um
What would I put on my only fans?
What would be what would be content for something like that? I don't know. I've never been out all these fans before I mean
Shaking on air. Keeney kicks. Yeah
These are guiding light I think all right, so I'll just talk mad shit about Vinnie Paul. We know hey, I got it
I'm gonna do my my I'm my only fans.
I'll break down how terrible it's stand up.
I love it.
See, it's like that's such a damn.
And then you just be like, Vinnie better never listen to this,
but I hope he pays a ton of lots of listeners.
But he better not listen to this.
But I'll fuck him up if he doesn't listen to this.
And then I said to my password,
and you should probably listen to this.
Oh, I mean, his business model is number 37.
All right.
So unless you're willing to shell out the cash
who are these podcasts, you'll never find out
that I know what you guys do.
You'll never have any idea.
That is weird.
W-A-T-P is willing to put your money
where Shamus' mouth is.
What?
Whoa, sorry.
Unless we're willing to give him money,
we'll never find out that he knows about our show.
I've known this for a while.
I knew this a while ago.
Did he do about our show?
Yeah, it's wild.
But does he listen to our show, Crouch?
Does he?
I've never listened to who are these podcasts,
and I never will.
Love it.
And I think that that's funny because on the shows,
he's constantly talking about trying to get better.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't mind the negative reviews.
I need feedback.
I learn from it.
I strive to be my best.
Hey, there's a show that breaks down everything you do wrong.
I'll never listen to it.
Like, oh, what not?
Yeah.
Why wouldn't you?
Most people who listen to our review of their show
get better, the exception to the official podcast,
but most shows listen to our show, fix shit,
and then get better at it.
Yeah.
Not shamus.
Hey, shamus, here's a bunch of free advice
that'll help you out in life.
Nope, don't want it.
Yeah, can't be bothered with it.
And his number 39, my last one on shamus,
this is, he's got to list the people he's not happy with.
Oh, good.
Out of the negativity or whatever that has came from who are these podcasts and who's right or the
Dix show. Just any of these guys that have mentioned Shamist McIllian or they've said things about a
guy named Todd. They're talking about me. But as I've said, I've had no real interaction with any of them.
I don't know any of them.
I've never listened to the content.
I don't know how they really feel about me
outside of the people that have trolled me because of them.
I love you.
Yeah, I mean, that's, I heard that.
I heard that and I took a second.
I'm like, how do I really feel about Patrick Michael?
Of my shame is, I love him.
Deep in my heart, I do too. And it's funny because I decided after all this time
I'm like I can't wait for him to drop out of my I know I can't look away
And I didn't hesitate to give him money when he said I'm going me on a paywall. You gotta pay me
I'm like, all right. Yeah, no problem. Yeah, I love Patrick Michael and it's funny because you think that I'm saying that because he gives me so much
Material for the show which is true. Yeah, but I literally hate stuttering John like I literally hate
for the show, which is true, but I literally hate Stuttering John. Like I literally hate Stuttering John.
Yeah, OP is a terrible human being.
OP is a shithead.
Shavist is like, what is this fucking thing?
I can't wait to hear it.
Patrick Michael is amazing.
Marissa Jones is a cunt.
She's a cunt on wheels.
Sorry, crippled Jesus.
Sorry, that's offensive to you.
All right, Kroge, that's all you got on Patrick Michael
this week.
Very good.
I want to mention that in other Patrick Michael news,
great job.
Thank you.
Has changed names.
It's now the Harry show.
The what?
The Harry show.
And not Harry like Harry,
but Harry like the name,
like Harry in the Hander sense.
The Harry.
No, no.
We're okay.
Yeah.
That makes as much sense as breakfast dessert, I guess.
I think it's really important when you put out content on the internet that you change
the name of the show all the time.
As often as you can.
Have as many different names as a host as you possibly share.
He's a hard lot.
Yep.
Yeah.
Host that on, he's not behind one paywall.
He's already behind three paywalls.
He has no subscriber.
He's already behind three paywalls. There's no subscriber, he's already behind three paywalls.
There's two different patrons.
There's a nine minute podcast page around.
There's pod culture, and he's got an only fan,
which is bad brain studios.
Yeah.
He's also animal-crossly, if you want to listen to his rap,
or any of his music, it's animal-crossly.
Oh.
This guy is possibly the worst marketer in the history of the world.
Yeah.
I could teach a college course on this guy.
Yeah, just every negative example.
Everything to do wrong.
Yeah, here's how you fell at life in every single way possible.
Yeah.
Here it is.
I'm going to lay it out.
Our syllabus here, you can see that we have how to not start a music
career, how to not be a YouTube celebrity, how to not have a successful podcast.
He's finding its people listening. And by the way, he even said, I don't care if you're
hate listening. You got to pay me. You think I'm an idiot? You want to listen to me being
an idiot? That's fine. I'll be an idiot. I'll be your clown.
If you give me ten bucks or if you give me five bucks.
Yeah.
Meanwhile, he was asked to go on the Dix show to be heard by a hundred thousand people.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
And the fucking moron goes, I'm not doing that. What do you think I'm your clown? Like, what is it?
Your business model is being a clown.
Yeah.
They were willing to pay money for her.
And then when we give you the opportunity,
you say, I don't want to do that.
And Carl knows his shit.
Yes, I do, Opie.
Yes, I do.
Crows, you brought some other shit here.
What do you love about it?
I got a couple I want to play for you, Carl.
I talked about this podcast several times here on the air.
I can't get enough of it.
It is the worst podcast I listen to and I love it. I listen to it first.
Okay. This show is called Bizarre albums. Okay. Every single week has terrible editing bullshit. This guy will spend like 15 hours
researching every horror player who played on Eddie Murphy's debut R&B album. And then who leaves shit. And then who leaves shit like number 40 in every single episode.
It was almost an experiment to see if they could get radio play and a hit single. So
in 1965, Pell led a recording session with members of the legend-
So in 1965, Pell led a recording session with the members of legendary session musicians,
the wrecking crew
Single show I could pull one every week because the reason why I'm blown away by that I do the same thing
Anyone listening to discord has heard me do this. I fuck up. I start over so I can make a very easy edit in post
Yeah, so you can't hear me fuck up and this guy's he just did that
He knew that he fucked up.
He started over again and composed himself,
and then he said it correctly.
He's told that he could fix it and it boast,
and then never fix it and it boasts.
And I'm gonna say minimum 10 hours per episode
of research that goes into this.
Like this is the most dry,
boring presentation.
Why do you listen to this show?
Because.
Because, Carl.
What's it called again?
Bizarre album.
Bizarre album. Bizarre album.
It's a 20 minute show with 18 minutes of ads,
it's anchor apps, and it's everything that's terrible about podcast.
And I'm always like, why the fuck am I listening to this?
And then he introduced me to my favorite ever record producer,
a Keel Fudge, who did a song with the Washington Redskins.
Here's number 41.
The majority of the album was produced by Stevie Wonder's cousin,
a Keel fudge.
He only has two other credits to his name, producing a song for police academy's Michael
Winslow and a song for the Washington Redskins in 1986. We are the best in bands, just one family, never gonna be bad.
I've never heard anything like that before.
The timing on those was so awesome.
Yeah, it was so terrible.
It was like, that makes the Super Bowl shuffle.
It sounded like Michael Jackson's thriller.
That is a fucking unbelievable song right there. And that's 42 because too because that's the year after the Zero Bull Shuffle came out.
Yeah. Which by the way if you're not a boomer like the three of us are over here.
The Chicago Bears recorded the rap song that was immensely popular.
It was a top 40 hit. It was huge.
And it was horrible. It was every, it's terrible.
And this is your first time here hearing about it. Go to YouTube, pull it up and watch that video
and remind yourself the 80s were fucking horrible.
The 80s were a fuck decade for music.
Oh, this guy's name is Achille Fudge.
Achille Fudge.
And he's Stevie Wonder's cousin and he's my hero.
But there's no way this is true.
I've hired him for the next isotope, Salon.
Oh, good. Oh, mine. Oh, good.
But it doesn't stop there. Let's go back to the 70s. Now, I know you asked me this all the time. him for the next isotope.
And Donald Plezance, an actor who would earn widespread recognition just three months
later for his role as Dr. Samuel Lumus in Halloween.
This is Pleasant's only appearance on the soundtrack. I want you so bad, it's driving me mad, it's driving me mad!
It's hard for a Bill Shatton or thing, that seems like...
I know I'm fucking weird, but I hear that, and I'm lit up for the whole day.
That is the fucking most amazing shit I've ever heard.
Oh, right, I thought that just sucked.
That was... I was pretty sure that it was just terrible.
Well, look, here, what Steve Martin has to say, here's number 43. That's how huge sure that it was just terrible. Well look here what Steve Martin
has to say here's number 43. That's how huge Steve Martin was in 1978. He has one scene in this
movie playing Dr. Maxwell Edison performing Maxwell Silver Hammer. Call her, I'm a phone Call her, take you out to the pector's show
I'm a phone call
But I'm just getting around you
And I'm not coming from the door
And I'm like a swell silver pan
But came down on her bed
And then my little swells I came down
None of that was in key you listen to this podcast. I'm burp. I can't wait every week it comes out And I'm like, I what do they got now? Let's fuck it here, man
I love it. I love it. I'm raised and I said it's the worst fucking thing I listen to and then I hear Steve Martin
Catterwalling off key and I'm like oh
Life is worth living. Can I ask you a question of course Maxwell silver hammer off a abby road
I like that soccer Mike crazy. Yeah, I got socks. All right. I thought I thought I thought this dude
Literally one beetle like that song. Yeah, that's a true statement. No, it looks like that song 25% of the beetles liked it
That's pretty good. Do you think 20% like the ice of toast? I'd be fucking thrilled
So he did an episode on our body master K. Yo no shit
I was gonna rip on you, but I was listening to it. I
Like your new sound dude. No, so here's number 44. Oh boy. Should I maybe tell people
that Master K was my rap name when I was a laugh at. I wouldn't bother. And then I made
a rap. I made a bunch of rap signs and we planted one of them on a bonus episode to get
out of our page right out here. I'm a small penis and I pump wants to be done
What am I Instagram page I'm in a bikini
Maybe having Hitler was a good thing
That was a good
Fucker I think it man I heard that a club dinner tonight. I'm like fuck that's good shit. Wow
Croge always manages to insult me every time he comes out of the show
That's why we like Andy over here and he's mild man. Ernie comes in
Spouts off a little bit. Yeah shakes my hand. Thanks for having me Carl. Have a good one
Croge comes in fucking fucking rip, roared.
You suck, Carl.
Go fight yourself.
Here's a clip of you.
Oh, man.
Somebody says that that just replaced snakes in the grass as their favorite song.
So that's pretty impressive.
Wow.
What do we talk about today?
That's been an hit.
Yeah, it's been a whole day.
We introduced W-H-E-P-U fans to a comedian named Tom Myers.
Yeah.
And Tom Myers is a fucking hack.
He is terrible at comedy.
I'm looking forward to breaking down.
Make America and Nate again.
What a stupid title.
Yeah.
What a stupid, stupid idiot.
We had our friend, crippleled Jesus on and we actually had a
Right on the air that was very exciting
What else do we do? We talked about Patrick Michael going me on the paywall. Yep. Talk to all paying for Patrick Michael
Crores made fond of me a little bit so you know what that means. It's time for everyone's favorite part of the show. For teens, which is actually season.
The teens, which is the season.
The teens, which is season.
So this is the part of the show where we tease a clip of the podcast that we'll be reviewing
on next week's W-A-T-P. And here's a clip.
Just got back from Santa Monica two days ago.
Shit would lit there, huh, Dolby there hungry holy shit was poppin dude the amount of
Asian women and wow different women looking at me I felt like I was getting
Up sexually abused no, I wish
Like but you saw me fresh off of that car fresh out that car getting out of motel
See you find young Asian lady and I say,
hey, you're really pretty.
She said, thank you.
And I say, you have Instagram
and she types it on Instagram,
if you're Chinese.
Nothing came of it.
Yeah, but you got her in stuff.
And that right off the bat,
you still follow her?
You don't follow.
Shout out and follow.
This is a show called the Timbo Sugar Show.
Timbo Sugar.
Yeah, got it.
And these are two guys who, I think it's more
of a YouTube thing.
The one guy has a million Instagram followers,
so they're influencers.
Okay.
All right.
Bag of Schmidt in our Discord suggested this.
Mr. Drewsef also suggested this in the discord.
We have a whole channel for review suggestions in there.
And what Baggish Mitz said is that it makes fighter in the kid look like Johnny Carson.
These two ass hats set on a couch and just act like they're the king of the world.
And I'm looking forward to reviewing that show.
Fourth of July weekend, we will not be taking off.
We'll be putting out a brand new episode.
The rest of the weekend.
Who are these podcasts?
Crost, thank you so much for coming over.
Thank you.
Thank you for bringing it as you always do.
Is there anything you'd like to promote
before we move on to the news?
Yeah, I'll be on Carl's Only Fans later,
taking pictures of his strata cast or it'll be hot.
Please join us again next week. It might be the episode we find out what's for all. Who are these
podcasts? Sleep well everypony.
Starting in the must-vis of Morning Radio.
Hey, now to show these clothes right now.
Okay, great show. Good job everybody.
Great job, everyone. You want to know all about this again? Four, six, six, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven I You know who are these podcasts. I don't know. I don't get it makes no sense
With Vic
Oh, Vic is here, but I don't know if she's actually
coming on the show.
She told me last night she was day drinking today,
and she wouldn't be coming on the show.
But maybe she's feeling it.
You feeling it?
I'm calling.
Absolutely.
Hey, Vick is here.
How was brunch with the gals?
I was very beautiful.
I had too many mimosas, so.
Nice. I'm surprised you came on,
but the way I was able to entice her to come on the show today, I was like,
crippled. Jesus is going to be there. So the reason I showed up the other Vex up.
Yeah, I have one review that someone DMed me on discord. So I did a lot of work this week. Okay, so it's a it's a it's a
Reddit comment from Lucky Norm. Yep, Carl's a character, the boring pointless
middle of the road American douche hockey, weak-laker, man-caved podcast in
mid-level marketing executive, commercial radio fanboy, think shock-shocks are real comedians,
stand-up comedy enthusiast, cringey Simpsons references, white trash accent, really awful and
irrelevant, and cringey dad rock band, casual new world-order conspiracy theorist, five stars.
That was my favorite part. I think the casual, I W.O.C. is the spurious theorist.
I do just throw things out there for time to time. Like, how are you quitting so rough time anyway?
So I got another clip here that I wanted to play.
That's my good point.
Well, you know, it's fine.
Like, just a Hillary Clinton's enticing the riots, Carl.
Did you know that?
I did.
I've been listening to a lot of fucking Alex Jones lately.
How can you not?
It's so entertaining.
He's been good since the riots, man. I can't help myself.
But I've never seen a view about this shit.
Fucking crippled Jesus' appearance today.
You wanted to give a review of crippled Jesus?
Yeah, I really fucking hate him. He is literally the worst human being on this fucking planet.
Right now, it's gonna be crippled Jesus. How could you say so? What are you talking about? I really fucking hate him. He is literally the worst human being on this fucking planet right now to me.
How could you say so? What are you talking about?
I really hope he gets a blood clot in his legs that don't even work.
Um, God, like, yeah.
Do you want to respond to this?
Huh. I hope he does.
Triple Jesus, you still there, buddy?
Yeah, Carl, what's going on?
Victor, I'd like you very much. Triple Jesus, is he still there, buddy? Yeah, Carl, what's going on?
Victor doesn't like you very much.
Well, we went to a woman to know about good taste, Carl.
Yeah, she know. Stupid, broad.
Yeah, how fat was the stripper you had to pay to have sex with you?
That's a good question.
I was actually a friend of mine that paid, but it was way too much.
Bit of a rip off, huh? Oh man, did she break your legs again?
It definitely was. How, so what happened there? Did she like just climb on top and like just,
you know, like did you lift the arms of your wheel chair up or what happened there?
Well, it was kind of like a game of Tetris because the champagne room is actually pretty small,
but I was able to get it in there drunken way, so, you know.
And then they went backwards out the stairs that she orgasmed.
That's his move. That's his finishing move.
Did she will you, you know, back into the main room once you were done?
They had a, they had a straight-to-the elevator, which most strip clubs don't have a wheelchair
elevator, so it might have been a good one.
But, you know, the worst part of that home then was I had to hear the Bouncer's crippled joke going up
Oh, what was his joke?
Yeah, it's a joke that everybody says he was just like oh, I hope you're not drinking tonight because that's the DUI
Good one good one. I heard that one like a million times
All right, bitch. I said great. Well, that was fun. Yeah, I enjoyed that one like a million times. Alright, it's an asset.
Great.
Well, that was fun.
Yeah, I enjoyed that.
That was good.
Alright, crippled Jesus.
Thanks for coming back on, buddy.
That was funny.
God, I thought Victus hated me.
No, no, it's you and CJ.
That's it.
Cool.
Alright, let's listen to some voice mails real quick.
This guy doesn't want to pay me five fucking bucks.
Hey, Carl, I just realized that i'm bored man i want to listen to more w-a-t-b but uh i want
to do the bonus that this is that i don't want to pay per se uh you put this out there
for your listeners bonus in your self uh can somebody somebody link me the preversion for the
the bonus
uh...
uh...
will certainly not
get the five bucks
but yeah
so
you're not going to pay the five bucks but the gas should get the five bucks
what five bucks there is no five bucks in your scenario
you ask all it's five fucking bucks.
Yeah.
It was up to him.
You would have to pay shame with it on your own pocket car.
Right.
Which I do.
Yeah.
Which I do.
Uh, those brods that we reviewed last week, then explain that grammar is racism.
That language was on fucking real.
Like a linguistic discrimination.
I know I say that.
Listen to you and Andy review that show.
Blue my fucking mind.
I couldn't believe those clubs.
You guys were playing.
They have people supporting them.
Yeah.
That wasn't just a one off thing.
I thought that was dumb.
We shouldn't have done that.
That's like they're like building an empire around this idea
that talking correctly is racist.
Yeah.
There was a guy like defending those two fucking retards
on the Reddit.
It made like a fucking essay about it.
Yeah, I read it.
Interesting, really.
You read all of it?
I did.
I can't read that much.
I'm not surprised.
Five of them are.
I heard you tried to read the review that Pro said you I can tell you
Yeah, it was funny if you're mispronouncing logger by
I fucking I don't like any dark alcohols
I'm a vodka gal. I got it. Stay thin fair enough
All right, so anyway this guy wanted to talk about those bras that we listen to last week
That was by one the most frustrating episodes to listen to so far
and not because you guys are bad
but because of those women were so insufferable
and it's just as the
start the reminder of why black men were given the franchise to vote
it's fucking hands before women
god damn shut the fuck up you dumb fucking prize
god damn i bet they only have fucking kids
that fucking worthless chat lady.
Wow, that was a roller coaster right there.
Listen, I just play the- I just play the voicemails.
Yeah. It doesn't reflect my opinion on anything.
I don't know what's going on here. I just play it.
Well, it's the guys go in, I'm like, okay.
And then he's like in black, man. I'm like,
Brad and take a whole bunch of shit.
Where are we going with this? He's Christ. And then he's like, fuck women's suffrage. I'm like okay, and then he's like in black man, I'm like Go on with it. And then he's like fuck women's off edge. I'm like, okay. I mean, yeah
I want me back over again. I've heard worse takes in that. Yeah, for sure. We shouldn't vote at all
You know what you don't have to
Vic stay home
No one ever says that no one is at hot dick. Yeah, no matter for us stay home
Don't don't worry about it.
We got to leave it to the people who think.
All right, this is band-bred is guys my favorite
voicemail call or of all time,
but not everyone feels that way.
Yeah, I know, Carl, and OP is always saying stuff
just to fill in, he doesn't have anything funny to say.
So just shes in the funny boy. So you just said stuff like damn or
band practice or
What kind of fucking idiot doing that?
All right, well that's a good point
Oh, Andy was out the show last week And we were talking about other words for vagina
because the woman said vagina was an ugly word.
Oh, wow.
And there's some feedback on that.
Hey, Carl, can you tell Andy's never ever say,
scooter again?
Yeah.
Thank you.
We'll do.
In fact, I already texted about.
That's pretty good.
Those are the roughs.
Yeah.
That was a good or a good idea.
All right, we got to upper man calling into the show.
Who are these podcasts?
Who are these podcasts? Is that Vinnie? Did Vinnie call in? all these park car
Is that Vinnie did Vinnie call in? I
Noticed Vinnie always tries to fucking sing on the creep off and it pisses me off so fucking mud
That's something the pisses you off that yeah that's a part of the creep off
You don't like so many parts of the creep off that piss me off and it's all big
It's always Vinnie
No Vinnie attempting to sing is the fucking worst part, Carl. I swear to God.
Well, if this is Vinny, they called back about 17 times and here's another example of that. Who are these podcasts? Who are these podcasts?
A institution that this guy called from.
Imagination.
A show of land.
I think that if you sing that song just like that it opens up a magical world.
Yeah, obviously Donald fall through his straight jacket
Right
Vic anything you want to plug I heard you're a stand-up comedian you have a stand-up routine that you're gonna send me
Absolutely not I sent it to a listener who only listens to Stuttering John Opie and
The voicemail segment that's like all he listens to. That's his
favorite. He doesn't give a fuck about Patrick Michael. That's crazy. That's crazy. It's up to him,
Carl. You got a bag. You got to fucking get on your knees. You old man and big. Well, I second.
This doesn't make any sense to me. So you're telling me you sent this to somebody randomly.
I'm asking you for it. not this listener. Oh, no,
I gotta ask him for it. So can we talk about your standup real quick? Did you record
this in a club where you're doing an open mic? Did somebody just like pop open their
phone while you were? It was an open mic. Yeah. Okay. And are you proud of your material?
You think you did a good job? Well, it was, it was my first time doing it. Yeah, that's the only one I have
recorded. And the guy recording it like left like way too much. Like he just wanted to fuck me, so.
Can I find this on YouTube somewhere? Where do I get? No, it's in a Google Docs good luck.
All right, that narr nerves it down. Good
Yeah, right now just doing every combination. My computer enhanced
Zoom enhance
All right, so this is interesting. I kind of how long was I was up did you do?
Um, five minutes. Okay. I think I cut it short at like four minutes because I just stopped thinking
So shameless I think I cut it short at like four minutes because I just stopped thinking So shame is McHillian is willing to give me embarrassing material for ten dollars a month
What's your price?
Seven three
I don't fucking I don't know Carl like three weeks and I'll send it. Oh, okay
Yeah, there you go. I'm not a patient man, but yeah
I'm gonna offer you some Burger King coupons. I have
I mean
Yeah, that's cool
Interesting. All right. Well, that's exciting. No, you got something to look forward to you know, Patrick Michael's going away
He's going me on the paywall, but now we have Vic stand up. Yeah, and if she does four minutes of stand up
I could probably stretch it out to like I don't know six episodes. Yeah
Analyze I I got Reed joke.
And then Vic will talk to you about you behind her paywall.
Oh, yes.
The circle of life.
Perfect.
All right.
Vic, anything you want to play before we go?
No, nothing at all.
Fucking be on the subreddit, making fun of everyone.
So.
All right.
Well, thank you for coming on the show, Drunk.
I did that Thursday night with Dick Masterson. I'm not much fun that I can be and be good and I'll just leave everybody with this. Yeah, no one likes this part of the show. You guys should
just kill yourself. you