Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep229 - The Free Beer and Hot Wings Morning Show
Episode Date: October 25, 2020If you live in New Jersey or Wisconsin, chances are you're depressed, but also you probably know about a show called Free Beer and Hot Wings. A bunch of gigglepusses with nothing to say talk about not...hing for hours a day. Gee, I can't believe radio is dying. Joining us this week is Pat Oates and Jen from the Jingles Department. We chat about people named Free Beer, Hot Wings, Stuttering John, and Patrick Michael. Does the fun ever start? Support us:Â http://bit.ly/watp-patreon And Pat: https://www.youtube.com/user/patoates/videos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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See when you come out of those uptempo God damn numbers man is impossible to make those transitions
And then you got to go into somebody dying
episode two two
Are you a boner guy?
Cuzz
Cuzz a row
Cuzz a row
Slapperoonie
It's show time I got you a
TV
A TV
Hello rubber nicks and cusslers welcome to another episode of who are these podcasts the only show that is recorded using Hunter Biden's laptop,
I'm your host, Carl, with me this week.
The man who likes to tell people,
your podcast stinks.
Your podcast stinks.
That's right, Pat Oaks is back on the show.
What's up, Pat?
How's it going?
And yes, still, most of your podcast think.
I want to make that clear.
That haven't changed.
More true today than it was when you said it.
Also coming back after a long absence,
Jen from the JINGLE department, what's happening Jen?
Hello, nothing.
All right, please go to who are these.com
to get our email address,
voice phone number, link to our separate,
I don't like to the Discord server,
link to our merchandise,
link to our YouTube channel,
and the link to Patreon featuring two exclusive bonus episodes
every month, we have to do another bonus episode this week.
One of the days this week.
So not to figure that out.
I don't even know what we're gonna do or who we're gonna do it with, but we're gonna
get on it.
Also we encourage our listeners to give us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts and then
shit all over us in the comment section, which are then read by our new review girl, Casey,
coming up later after the break.
Come to play it on the show.
All right, we got Jack to over so going.
So before we get into any of that,
we need to review free beer and hot wings.
This is a suggestion that came in from Jeremy.
We have all listened separately.
We have not discussed it with each other beforehand.
Let's get into it.
This is a show that is hosted by Greg Freebeer Daniels,
Chris Hotwings Michaels, and then you have Joe, Steve, and Kelly.
I'm going to point out right out of the gate, Joe's cool. We like him a lot. He's the best.
We're really just making fun of Freebeard Hotwings.
I like that Joe doesn't have a silly nickname. That's probably the first thing that I like about him.
Joe is a silly nickname.
Fair enough. He could.
I'm sure his last name is Gat.
Esman and I'm sure they want to like,
you're a guest from wings.
Like, no, dude, I'm just Joe.
Calm down.
Like he could for I listened to I like Joe.
He seems like he kind of doesn't want to be there,
but it's a job.
Yeah.
I should do his nickname should be sloppy.
Joe.
See, why are you working for this?
I don't know.
I'm in a lot of trouble.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. This is really bad because they play a clip from their show that's out of context with people just laughing and making noises
And you have no idea what's going on at all
It's the free beer and hot wings show
Now back to your favorite idiots, the Free Beer and Hot Wing show.
So you didn't know what show that was from?
You would have no, like me.
I have no idea what they're talking about
or why that's interesting.
It makes zero sense out of context.
I'm with you.
I'm sure it makes zero sense in context.
The only thing was the guys up for an award
and they all chuckled. Like,
you think that happens. It's always a Nobel Peace Prize. Like, you just got an award. That's
all you said. With wire beers and butt head now in the studio. It's, it's retarded. Yes.
And you'll notice that they call themselves idiots. Also, their fans are called idiots,
which is unironically ironic, I suppose. Every year that you can pay to listen to this crap.
Yeah, so idiots, you're a fancy idiot, you're a fancier idiot,
you're the village idiot. There's like 20 tears.
Yeah, so for 5.95, I believe a month, right, Pat?
5.95 a month, you get all of these episodes. I think there's like some bonus content.
They don't do on the radio for 20 minutes So these these episodes are three and a half four hours long
Now I think it's because they have the first hour from five to six is like reruns like best up stuff
And then the show actually starts at six and then they go on and on and on with their whole radio show
Which is indicated in like 30 markets and then for the podcast they put out this extra
Content where I guess they can swear but it's the same as all the other parts of the show and so for the podcast they put out this extra content where I guess they can swear
But it's the same as all the other parts of the show and so for 595 a month you can listen to that or
Or you can google them and click on one of the first links which is Google podcasts which has the entire podcast for free
So they're not doing this very well
They're trying to keep it behind a paywall, but our failing miserably at it. It's very easy
Also miss the other one where if you don't want to pay $5.95, you could
just pay $49.95 for the year. Imagine doing that one shot and then figuring out you can
listen for free.
Oh, you know, it's so much.
Damn, I should have just Googled this first. You 50 bucks now. I get screwed out of 10 bucks
for two months. Then I catch. I go, okay, I'm an idiot, whatever. But 50 bucks now I get screwed out of 10 bucks for two months then I catch I go okay I'm an idiot whatever but 50 bucks right there so I can hear cheese swear at wings I mean that's
Let's get back into some of this production that they do and how nonsensical it is here's there did you miss it when
Intros
Did you miss when hot wings said this what kind of garage does he like to have his dog?
Now that's your favorite idiots.
I've gotten to this point of life.
The Free Beer and Hot Wings show.
That's fucking stupid.
Now let's hear another example.
This is another Did You Miss.
This time it's Kelly, the whole of the show.
This is another Did You Miss. This time it's Kelly, the whole of the show. Did you miss when Kelly said this?
I'm in fly swatter hitting a fly.
That was good. Wow.
You're not sticking around for that. You're missing out.
You can catch up on the podcast any time if you're a fancy idiot.
Sign up at freebeerinhotwings.com.
And that's the worst one of all,
cause that's actually a promotion
to pay them for their podcast.
And that was the clip they used?
Played by play on fly swatters, you could pay for that.
This is obviously very formulaic,
the way they have this going.
We gotta take a quick break,
but we'll be right back after the break.
this going, we gotta take a quick break, but we'll be right back after the break. Do you remember when Carl said this?
They're not little people, they're all blue but from a loobballand.
He actually saved these people because loobballand was a terrible country, the Wang doodles would
eat them.
And now bat your favorite rubber dicks.
We have time for breakfast. It's who are these podcasts? Eat them and now bat your favorite rubber dicks
It's who are these podcasts?
They were back back as you have these podcasts
Oh, I want to subscribe for that. I would because you've never heard no what a fly swatter is I wouldn't do that That what you just played I go you know what I'm in five bucks
It's guys are talking about oopaloo bus all right
They got my body
Other ones I didn't know I don't I don't know the dark web part of the oopaloo
But I'm in I'm in so what these guys have to do is fill a shit ton of time
Monday through Friday because they are a morning show that takes up hours and hours of
time. And one of the things that they do to fill this time is a bit they call around the room.
And around the room is where you announce yourself and then you say something about yourself.
Hi, I'm Carl. Last night I ate pizza that wasn't very good. Would be an example.
What I've done here is I've done a little super clip
of all the different topics that people bring up
because they go to this around the room three times
per episode, because they have nothing to talk about.
So just tell us any mundane thing about your life
or any mundane thing and we'll riff on it.
So this is just the intros to those
and then imagine the conversation
that goes on after they bring up each topic.
I'm free beer one of the hosts last night.
Me and Henry went and got a haircut.
I'm Hot Wings and it's been a while
since I geeked out on a new car.
Hi, my name's Joe and I did some building yesterday.
Hi, I'm Steve and I'm excited.
We're just about a month away from Thanksgiving.
Hi, I'm Kelly and speaking of Thanksgiving, Freebeer and I were talking before the show.
I'm Freebeer, one of the hosts.
And Tuesdays, I have a standing therapy appointment.
Hi, I'm Joe.
Yesterday, I talked about how I went to Chicago to visit my girlfriend.
Oh, yeah, I'm hot waiting.
I went to therapy for a long time too.
I'm Steve.
I got a bone to pick with companies and make doors.
Hi, I'm Kelly.
And last night, I watched a documentary that took me back
to the days of shopping mall.
I'm free bear one of the hosts, and I announced a few weeks ago
that after a long, long time, my wife and I were getting a divorce.
I'm Hot Wings, and I grew up in a family surrounded by automotive stuff.
Hi, I'm Kelly.
And over the weekend, my boyfriend and I did a really long road trip.
My name's Rachel.
And oh, how the tables have turned.
I'm dating my roommate now.
These are the jumping off points.
What do you do with that?
Well, I'll give you the answer, nothing.
So here they have to talk about the around the room bit.
And because it's radio,
they hadn't around the room bit from the day before's radio, they headin' around the room bit
from the day before, but that was in the 10 o'clock hour
and they had more listeners in the 730 slots.
So now they have to rehash this and get it going again.
All the fun stuff you have to do when you're a morning DJ.
And this is them rehashing what happened the day before.
But first, yesterday, late in the show,
we do that thing where we go around the room
and if you only listen at this time of day, you've literally never heard it.
But we try to do it a couple times.
It's just a quick stop on each person, something either about them from old dimes or now or whatever.
And sometimes, you know, free beer hot wings, Joe, we always get to go because we're selfish.
Most of the time, Steve and Kelly get to go and Rachel, it's like, if we have time, we'll turn the microphone on and, right, yesterday, we had time and this happened.
My name is Rachel. And oh, how the tables have turned. I'm dating my roommate now. I
wanted they say, if we have time, we'll get to Rachel, all they have is time. They, that's
their only job is to fill time. And what she said took three seconds. They're the only time
It's it was three seconds. I'm Rachel and I date and the tables have turned I date a roommate right table
What the fuck table are we talking no one knows the table?
But listen to seven. I might know what table was
So Rachel apparently had these two guy roommates and now she's dating one of them.
And this woman is a drip, she has no personality.
There's nothing going on here.
So one of her around the rooms the next day
is explaining a gift that she received
from her new boyfriend.
So the other day, Nick, my boyfriend,
bought me a new microphone for my computer.
So then I can talk with him and his friends
while we play
Minecraft together. I'm very sorry.
Who gives a shit? Who gives a fuck? How is that funny or interesting? Nick bought me a microphone
for my computer because I needed one. Was her story that she just told.
It's also means Nick didn't want to do that. She's like, why won't you let me talk with
your friends when you play Mike?
So now she had the buy ones, so this drip can be on there
and go, the tables have turned.
Like, are we got it?
That's her catchphrase.
She just got the tables have turned.
I like you better when Pat says it.
So they're trying to make something out of this
because she just said, my boyfriend bought me something
I needed.
I don't know what you do with that.
Now, this is not what you would do with that,
but this is what they decided to do.
Imagine if he got you a football.
I would look at him and be like, are you nuts?
We're broken up.
Yeah.
So I'm gonna translate that real quick.
Basically, the guy's going,
if he had gotten you something that you didn't want
and was ridiculous, that would be a topic we could talk about.
Like, if he got you a football,
then we could talk about it.
But he got you a microphone that you need him.
So what are we gonna do with that?
You dumbass.
I think that's how I would sum that up.
I could be wrong.
That's the best, I don't even know what you would do.
The football's not even funny.
Like, what do you do with it?
Literally, I could have said,
and you didn't even have a two blue.
You could be like, there's something else shaped like a microphone. You could have got you, and it would Like literally, I could have said, and you didn't even want the two blue, you could be like,
there's something else shaped like a microphone.
You could have got you that would excited you more
in the bedroom,
and then you could play with that or something.
But just look a football.
Like, why would it just be for her?
She'd have to throw it the fucking somebody.
Like, if he said, did take this football
and go find a new friend, then okay, that's fine.
Or finally, you'll play with some balls or suck.
It's just literally, oh, football. Like, if you got nothing wings then say nothing that's what I mean these guys
are terrible at improv they never come up with anything funny but they have confidence for some reason
so they're teasing there's a lot of teasing we'll talk about that but they're teasing you're wondering
you're wondering like oh baby they don't know each other the two of them wings and beer have been together since 19
Fuckin 97. They've been they were college roommates. They've known each other for since longer than most people listening a bit of life
And they don't have any chemistry whatsoever from being together that long and one of the chances that a guy named free beer would meet a guy named
Howwigs?
insane
Stars a lie to that day.
So here's another example.
They're teasing a segment that's coming up,
and he says something that can't possibly be true.
Okay.
Soon, the I can't wait to talk about
Black segment is on the way.
What a joy.
Probably some funny things will happen.
I like our chances.
That's coming up in just a few minutes.
It is the Freebeer and Hotwigs show.
We're gonna do this bit.
We'll probably say funny things.
I like our chances.
Why?
Because you guys laugh and everything you say?
These guys laugh at everything they say,
whether it makes sense or not.
Is he blank or black?
I think he's in blank.
Okay, that was like, this is gonna be a great segment.
He's in fact.
Let's fast forward to that.
I was like, geez, I'm getting edgy at the 10 o'clock hour.
So this is Joe again.
We love Joe.
But this is so confusing.
There's no way to follow this conversation.
And dare I say, there might be too many people
on Mike on this show.
There might be like three or four too many people
who have a microphone in front of their faces
because it gets very chaotic.
Because he missed Halloween.
Yeah, 1973.
Jan Brady.
Right, I was born in 1972.
So Hot Wings bargained his way from Godfather to J.
Oh, okay.
Oh, no, you made me take it.
You can't follow.
Can't.
Okay, because I thought I was going to like, you know, pull a slick one.
Yeah, you're always trying to pull a slick one.
We're always trying to stop you.
I'm not.
I assume that's why you Take your iPad to the bathroom
We're Joe pulling his slick one
To your point earlier Pat about why not make a dildo joke with the microphone like that's normally what they would have done
I'm surprised they didn't
Everything is just lowest common denominator, jerk off jokes.
It doesn't make sense.
And then the context of it,
like what the fuck are we talking about?
The okay, the guy jerks off, it worked great.
What?
They're cutting each other off to say that.
They're all taught, when I did,
when you guys took the quote from me saying,
your podcast stinks.
It's because I hate when 80 people talk over each other. You're a god damn syndicated radio show. Mute a mic or two.
Why are there eight people there? If you watch some of their videos, they do this. I don't know if
you're going to get it. They do a trivia thing a lot too. And when they do that, six people sit on
mic, but don't talk while two people do trivia. And the other ones go, mm-hmm. And that's it.
It's like, you don't need a choir in the backer. Turn off some mics.
Yeah, I got an idea.
If they're doing the trivia bit and you're not part of it,
go have a cigarette outside.
It's fine. We don't need you right now.
It's fine. Take a break.
Speaking of taking a break, we got to take a break,
but we'll be right back after this.
Do you remember when John C. Devorek said this?
Uh, it's vapid. They mean all these are vapid. It's just like...
And there's got millions of listeners in many cases.
And now back to your favorite rubber dicks.
I gave the audience like about a ten minute recital.
It's, who are these podcasts?
And we're back with Panel. It's who are these podcasts? And we're back with Pan Elton, who are these podcasts? Coming up later, we're talking about
Centering John's Patreon fail.
But first, we're talking about free beer and hot wings.
You gotta reset all the time, Pat.
Let people know what's going on.
Just go to the jingle department.
It's me Pat fried cheese and sauce.
Oh, so where were the fuck name I would have? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha entire plot of breaking bad in about a 90 second clip. But it's kind of a fun thing. And they're just trying to set that up so they can play it.
For some reason, the guy decides to show the other guy's point
and just totally derail the conversation.
Aaron Paul played Jesse Pikman on what I think is the best TV show I've ever watched.
Start to finish.
It was a lot of good.
Consistently good.
And if you remember that Skylar shoplifting thing.
Oh, I was a.
Skylar the.
The.
Thanks.
Wife.
Oh,
Thanks wife.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, the girl was purple.
What?
Okay, this is a show that had how many seasons?
Five, six seasons.
And the guy was to nitpick a specific episode and a specific part.
I thought I was nitpicking too much
This fucking assholes like you think that's a great show. What about that one scene from season three episode seven?
I didn't think that was very good like all right, whatever
Anything with which character was involved in it
They're totally unprepared joke with it after like literally just went that part
Things and then that was it now you're screwed
Like the guy's trying to do a statement
Something about it, but why put it out there just like well. Yeah, I don't like that Skylar fuck him
He's just trying to set up an audio clip that they're gonna play
How do they not know these guys are radio veterans? They've been doing this forever
How does he not know to just get out of the way of that and let that happen?
I don't know they were taking on new people. They're like Manuto, they keep taking on new people all the time.
They keep adding on.
Cheese came in a year ago.
The other, they have two producers.
And neither one can produce the fucking show.
There's two.
Which, and all of them are on Mike.
All of them are on Mike all the time.
And I can't tell any of them apart with their voices.
That's why you gotta get like,
guys like, or the white men in a lady.
That's what they should be called. That's why you gotta get guys like Pat Oatson and Croge. You need people with some different voices. That's why you gotta get like, guys like, or the white men in a lady. That's what it should be called.
That's why you gotta get guys like Pat,
Oatson, and Croge.
You need people with some different voices.
So you can decipher these types of things
when you're listening to it.
I have no idea.
So they bring up Breaking Bad,
and then they have a conversation
that they're totally unprepared to have
about Breaking Bad.
That show is so crazy intense.
It was, there were a lot of those intense moments. Like when Walt
hit that guy with his car to save Jesse. Remember that? Mm hmm. Oh, it sounds great.
There was that a joke. No, and that happened. I don't remember that. I wasn't sure.
I'm like, did this really happen? No, it looked like one of those tricks. I think it was
one of the, I think it was one of the many moments where they go, we are going to part
ways. We will not be to get a screw you, Jesse screw you,
all blah blah blah blah.
I do know what you're talking about.
And then...
Lire.
Oh yeah, I know Shurma.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that part, yeah, that, that part.
Now I remember.
Why are they talking about breaking bad?
How long ago did that show end?
Why are they still talking about it?
Years and years ago, because they just wanted to play that one clip,
but then they get the disc conversation that no one else is they're talking about
It's so long ago that there was a spin-off show that's think that isn't something I'll solve almost done now, too
Like I was like nothing season. Yeah, I know
So I'm saying like it's so long ago the best part is you think you hit him with a car and the other guy goes oh
What what's this never again? I've never noticed anyone do it. You got an offender, Bender?
Oh, like, what's that annoys you make?
Not even a real one on a TV show.
They're all okay.
That's what they're fine.
I've seen Brian Griss and do interviews.
He didn't actually die.
That was just his character.
They're fine.
There's just intense moments like when a guy hit a guy
with a car, that's more than intense.
That's a manslaughter. I guy hit a guy with a car. That's more than intense. That's a
manslaughter. I mean, that's not a thing. That's more than intense.
So what are the things that you might notice if you listen to freebeard hot wings in the morning?
Is there is laughter over everything. You will never tell if a good joke is told or not because everything that anyone says gets the same reaction.
Here's an example of that. Just paste your big sisters combed the one that folds in her hair over your eyes.
I don't know if any of them would blotter those cold but- And this isn't over the top
laughter but listen to the sky laughing at what he's saying and then it's revealed he has
no idea what he's talking about. Just paste your big sisters combed the one that folds
in her hair over your eyes. I don't know if anyone would bother those calls, but whatever. Someone knows what I'm talking about. No. He does.
Free beer is who I pointed at. Nope. Nevermind. No.
This is going great.
I would think that you'd want to talk about things people could relate to.
He's talking about some robo-com.
Now I don't know what he's talking about, but for some reason they keep talking about
it for a while.
And there's some great jokes that come out of it like this one.
I need your robo-com and your regular comb.
That sounds like a Scotch-sh chatted right there. There's a
tree on my house. It's a like a
better car. I'm saying I've been
a guest on several morning shows
and sometimes you run into morning
shows where they do have that
stick and so but in the break they
literally go I'm gonna say this so
if you don't know anything about it
go Google it quick or at least you
know make this show like they set each other up to be the cheese balls that they are.
And the ones that don't are actually good at doing improv, but this show, it looks like they're
not telling the other people what they're going to talk about, but the other people have no idea
how to improv. So it's like, you're talking about coms. The other guy's just laughing because he's
probably trying to think what the fuck do I say? I'll just laugh. I don't know to do.
Yes, that's a really good point. When they don't know what to say,
their immediate reaction is to giggle. I don't know how to add to this conversation. So I'll
just giggle like an idiot. This is that comb joke I just played in the larger context.
You can see what's going on here. What was your catwoman costume, Joe? Would you wear
your sister's other comb? Yes. Yes, I would.
I can't decide what to be this year.
Katie, what kind of hair equipment do you have?
I need your Robo comb and your regular comb.
Just carrying a pet comb.
I'm a comb salesman.
That probably work or three.
You know, all the years
All right, so I had a pull to the ISO from that clip, which is this one. I'm a comb salesman
That's gonna stand the board for a while. I'll retard. He made me laugh.
What the fuck is retarded?
The stupidest thing I've ever, and he was so proud of it,
that you almost couldn't get it out.
I was like, how come salesman?
He thought that was a zinger.
He thought they were gonna shut down the show
and hit to the break.
Like, you don't have to, you can't follow it.
Hit the bumper.
There's no reason to talk it.
Take that right to the post.
That was it, my friend. Conversation over reason to talk it take that right to the post that was it my friend
Conversation over I'm a comb salesman
I scraken up
It does keep getting funnier. Oh, it's great. I'm a comb salesman is the occupation you want to yell out
I'm a comb you're gonna be after this shows air so
You're gonna be in trouble. No, we gotta think of break, but we'll be back right after this break, so please stick around.
Do you remember when Kroge said this?
I might be making that up. I was gonna say 1862.
And now back to your favorite rubber dicks.
But point being, you know, it's who are these podcasts?
Hey, welcome back to who are these podcasts.
We got General the Jiggles' apartment,
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Ha ha ha.
Do you remember when Andy's brother Joe said this?
There'll be no punches pulled with this fucking show because these people are awful.
And now back to your favorite rubber dicks.
Millennials with no fucking jabs!
It's...
Who are these podcasts?
Alright, so we were talking before about how they do a podcast segment Are these podcasts? All right.
So we were talking before about how they do a podcast segment
at the end.
It's just for the the idiots or the fancy idiots or something.
So free beer has been talking about how he's going through a divorce.
He's been talking about it a lot.
And this is a little bit of a longer clip,
but it's horribly cringeworthy in my opinion.
I have something I want to share with you, but it's an itingeworthy in my opinion.
I have something I want to share with you, but it's an overshare.
It's out of character.
So knowing that my wife was gonna move out,
I had come up with a target date of October.
I had this trepidation that she would move out
and I already had somewhat ceased taking care of myself.
And I had this idea that I would be sitting around eating pizza drunk all the time, beating off.
Two weeks before she moved out, like I ceased to doing the third one for the first time in my life.
Now, I wasn't like a chronic whacker, but especially at this age, now that often.
But I also had never thought, hey, deny that for a minute.
Now, furthermore, you get a lot done.
I was low testosterone for all those years.
My balls were just there and so combined the two things of having appropriate testosterone. My brain's going crazy
right about now
Like there are parts of me that I thought were dead
So that's been fun, but so yeah, wait is that it?
That's That's what the whole surround fire, that's what I'm telling you.
That's, but it's, um, yeah.
So that's something.
You're rediscovering yourself.
That's nice.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a good way to put it.
Yeah.
So I feel happy for you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's all.
I didn't mean to suck the air out of the room.
When you're a radio host, you have to apologize for suck the air out of the room When you're a radio host you have to apologize for sucking the air out of the room
So basically what this guy just said let me just break it down
He's getting older and he can't get a hard on anymore
So we decided to stop jerking off and now he's getting boulders again. Is everybody just heard?
And it was probably the most interesting thing the guys ever shared and they didn't know what the fuck it like literally
He's breaking down. He's like my wife's leaving. I don't know what to do. My dick doesn't I thought I was gonna get laid again
I my dick doesn't work and then she's just like oh
Okay, and then the other one's like yeah, jerk it off
It's like what the fuck like finally this guy free beer is telling you that the beer is gonna have to cost money now
Because he's losing half his beer
Free beer is telling you that the beer's gonna have to cost money now because he's losing half his beer
By one get one now, it's gonna be charging a lot more for our stupidity It's and all that and the guys looking to get lady. He's saying this out loud. So some lady listening
I'll be like oh, I'll help you keep your dick hard free beer like something and they all just went okay
Hope air comms salesman. It's like, what the fuck?
How something?
He's the guy's jerking off.
In the morning, I've been on morning shows
where they'd be like afraid to say that.
He's like, he said,
he said balls, he's jerking off.
The guy's going at it and they're like,
okay, go back to the break.
Yeah, I agree and that's why I have that clip
is because it is actually compelling content that's real.
Not everything happens in your personal life is compelling content.
You know, having a boyfriend by your microphone, not compelling.
But what this guy's talking about might actually be interesting for some people and they don't know what to do with that.
They just show his syndicate in like 30 markets.
Yeah.
Free beers making some goddamn money.
I want to know about Mrs. Free beer.
What she's going to do is half that goddamn money. You want to know what kind of bitches leaving. I want to know about Mrs. Freebeer. What she's gonna do is half that goddamn money
You want to know what kind of bitches leaving. I want to hear this like he even said like it's an overshare
It's like no you finally shared an overshare you finally and it's all the rest of the 80 dope's like whatever
I know there's 80 people with a microphone one of them could have said something
Roll good but Rachel's dating her fucking roommate, we have to give a shit.
Free beers lose it all is cash.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Pat breaking it down for us.
So there's a lot of things that these guys do
that are traditional media tropes,
things that no longer work,
but people are holding onto them.
For example, I watch local news from time to time
on television and the meteorologist at
the beginning will always say extended forecast coming up later.
You're like, asshole, it's literally on my phone in front of me on the coffee table.
I know exactly what the weather is going to be if I want to.
This is an example of them trying to tease something that's coming up later in the show.
All right.
On the way, which is who is the famous celebrity?
Like, I would say mega famous who was nearly Marty McFly.
At least they auditioned for it.
Not very good.
I mean, I'm no acting coach, but boy, this sucks.
This is me.
That's next.
It's the free beer and how it should.
Stick around through the commercial break, because we're going to talk about who auditioned
to be Marty McFly, I googled it.
It's Ben Stiller.
It was the first result.
There's a thing here, but you can go off it.
Why would you do anything where you can Google it
during the break?
Yeah, I guess the only way to find out this information
is to stick around or use that device
that's in your pocket, but you're on that 24-7.
You can always do that.
You wanna tease, if you wanna tease something,
you go, hey, after the break,
free beers having trouble doing something.
Guess what
it is? You can't Google that. Oh, God, he was jerking off. Oh, no. That's it, you
tease. You don't tease Ben Stiller. Could have been Michael J. Fox. And then they get these
terrible teases where they tease something and then talk about a 10 seconds later, there
was no reason to tease it. Prebeared out with your port in a moment a school should probably know what a period looks like.
Go explain. If the signals are going at a railroad crossing don't be tempted to try and sneak
across the tracks. Ever. Stop. Trains can't. Let's get to this so a school.
Send a student home for having symptoms of COVID.
And I know so that was just an ad read to you to get in there.
It was a 10 second ad read.
He's like in a minute we're going to talk about blah blah blah blah blah.
And then he goes right into it.
He didn't have to do that at all.
I hate that music bed that he uses too.
You're not a fan of that.
I'll bet you anything.
He plays in a band and it was his band.
It's the most generic sounding round.
It's really his band.
Yeah. Oh, and at a, you're right. That's his band. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round.
It's the most generic sounding round.
It's the most generic sounding round.
It's the most generic sounding round.
It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round. It's the most generic sounding round.
It's the most generic. It's the most generic round. It's the most generic. It's the most generic round. It's the most generic. It's the most generic round. It's the most generic round. It's the most generic round. It's the most generic round. It's the most generic round. It's the most generic round. It's the most generic round.
It's the most generic round. It's Who's getting hit by trains this much? Why is that a thing that everyone's talking about? I who doesn't know to look out for trains? I know they just played that but that's not like every wrestling podcast
I listen to sports podcast. They're always advertising so watch out for a train
What the fuck you're getting a train you deserve to die what I want
I'm sorry what I want to know Pat is why are they advertising on who are these podcasts? I want to talk about trade safety
Come on, I'm gonna be out here. I'm great with trade safety. If you're passionate about caboose, you make
a caboose joke and they get offended. You know, we're not paying you full price for that.
Okay, at least get some hotwigs. No, for they're free. The beer's free beer are the
wings free. That's a good question because there are two guys. So hotwigs just exists
on his own.
It's just hot wings.
Just hot wings.
You got it.
You need them together.
And by the way, I know you can say that woman, whatever cheese bro, they just call her cheese.
It's because her last name's cheese bro.
They didn't even try it that one.
I didn't pick up on that.
Is that who Kelly is?
Kelly's cheese?
Kelly is cheese.
When you read, they all have bios on their site. You can read it.
And by the way, if we, I know we're saying we like Joe, but literally read the bio. Joe is the
only likable thing on this guy's show. You when you read the bio, it's a likable bio. Everyone
else has other like free beer and hot wings have other nicknames like ones like burn unit or like
Elm at a door. They have like 15 fucking nicknames on here for all the things they do. What and
what Joe's like, you know, he knows sports sometimes and he's a good guy. And then
like, Kelly only came on a year ago, probably because they got yelled at for being four white
men without a woman. And they had to take her on.
Do anything else from the bios that jumps out of your there, Pat?
Well, I've been reading it like it's the Bible. It's fantastic. It, it's very, you learn, I mean, I learned all about hot wings is the mayor of awesome
town in the Minister of Flav-a.
Not Minister of Flav-a.
No hard arms.
Hard arms.
Minister of Flav-a.
This guy sounds muscle car.
He loves muscle cars.
It hates liberals.
This guy sounds pretty hip.
Hot wings hates liberals.
Does it really say that?
Yeah, I'm not kidding.
We'd have had a bunch of people.
I don't need to add any jokes to this guys bio.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, these guys are fun, aren't they?
At the end of each episode, they do a,
what did we learn bit, which I believe was stolen
from the Dan Patrick show, but yeah, I could be wrong.
And this is an example of that.
What did we learn today?
I said it very loud, man, Rachel, what did you learn?
I learned that Wizards of Azerbaijan
is the first and worst unreleased Harry Potter book. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha funny. If you're gonna do a one-of-a-b-e learn, you might want to package it in a way that we know what the fuck you're talking about. Here's another example. Here's what Hot Wings learned on the
episode. Hot Wings! What did you learn? I learned that Kelly will die choking on green nuts, but not
stewards. His or fine plumbers. Perfectly plum. What? This podcast is just a big i roll. All I want to do is just like, I'm rolling my eyes so far back.
I do like they don't care about me too at all.
Like I do like a morning show.
It's just like at a contest.
I just said that Kelly swallows nuts.
I should mention they're in 30 markets.
None of them are major markets.
Most of them are in New Jersey in Wisconsin.
Okay. So they have a very specific
audience that has not gotten around to the Me Too movement just yet. Every time they get
to a new market, they take on, that's one of these people are coming from. They steal a person
like the executive producer was from New Jersey. The bio is great. They went to New Jersey and
then took on the executive producer and stole him away. They got into Atlanta
But by the way
Kelly does not ever call it hotlanta. She calls it Atlanta and she doesn't like hotlanta
Even though she wrapped to get her first radio job, but she did a rap freestyle. That's that's true
We did the bio. Oh, no, but they got they stole her from Atlanta
So everywhere that they go somewhere they steal someone from someone else's show and it ruin another radio station problem. That's awesome. It's the only way they're able to
get into these markets. Like fine, we'll take on your shitty morning jack. It's we have plenty of
microphones. We might as well. Come on up. They probably do a survey and they go, what do you like
most about this morning show? And they're like, Oh, Kelly's a fun one. They're like, yep,
steal her and then he is going to steal the people.
And then to say, well, now since you don't have Kelly anymore,
put us in your market and syndicate us
and we'll just take your money that way.
And it's a great move.
It's, I've never seen it done before,
but I do like it.
Makes sense.
It's like the Yankees, and they just go and buy your sports.
So just buy all your people,
and then you can't have a good team anymore.
That's the free beer hot wings are just the evil Empire. That's all there. They're white the Yankees if the Yankees were poaching players from double A
It's not like they're getting the best side the Yankees the Yankees are winners. Oh, how dare you cheese?
Cheese is like Mickey Mantle. No, here be out here be out. There's a lot of correlations here
Mickey Mantle. No, here we are.
Here we are.
There's a lot of correlations here.
Let's talk about some of the jokes that they have.
Apparently there is a story about spirit error and somebody got on the airplane very drunk
and then devameted on somebody else.
And now you guys know the spirit error is kind of a discount error line.
Maybe this is a joke.
I don't know what it means, so please explain it to me after you hear it.
The guy who lost his lunch also lost his chance to fry. He was escorted off the plane.
After the delay, the flight crew thanked passengers.
He was. I'm surprised that spirit. If you if you puke in someone's hair, they don't give you wings to put on.
If you puke on somebody on spirit, they give you wings to put on.
What does that mean?
Do you know?
I do know.
Okay, good.
Let's hear it, John.
Well, when you were a little kid, if you fly,
sometimes they would give you like pilot wings
because of that.
Oh, okay.
And sometimes you get to sit in the cockpit
on the pilot's lap.
Not to date myself, but that is so old.
Is that what that is? I didn't know what that, but that is so old. Is that what that is?
I didn't know what that meant.
It's so old.
And can't do that joke when you show one guy's called wings.
It made no sense.
Literally.
Sounds like you're putting the guy on it.
Because if you don't know like, just only like three of us know about the wings being put
on.
So if you watched airplane when you were a kid, they put wings on you. Yeah. If you're a little kid, you get a little pin or you're
like, retarder or something. Here's a pin. Have a good time. It sounds like you're just
putting the co-host to the show on someone when you throw up.
It's all right. So that one was beyond me. Maybe that was a decent joke. Here's another
example. It wasn't a decent joke. Oh, it wasn't okay. Oh, no, you're right. Even now
that we gave the context, it still sucks as a joke.
Another thing these guys do in all Hockey morning teams do this is they tag each other's jokes. So you say somebody
It just has to keep going on and on forever. They're talking about this story where this one town in Texas
Has this day where they get together and they round up all the rattlesnakes and then they
skin them and kill them.
And it's kind of like whacking
day from the Simpsons.
I think it's based on on this.
So this is them trying to make
jokes about the milking pit
at this rattlesnake roundup.
As soon as the snakes come in,
all of them are weighed in.
Then as soon as they're weighed,
they come,
and they make the journey to the milking pit.
We milk the venom out of the...
I don't ever want to go anywhere where there's a milking pit.
The milking pit.
No, I can't think of one positive spin
for something called milking pit.
Everything about this, you could just take it
and replace it with porno,
and it's all the most disgusting things
that you've ever heard, like, imagined.
What? The guy goes, I don't even want to know about this thing. Okay, well, that's not a good joke.
And I added on anything there. You can replace that with porno. Replace what with porno. What are you
talking about? Callin' giz milk? I don't know. I don't know. I didn't go jerk off with milk. I mean, and yes,
there are good thing, like an actual milking bit. Like, you can't say there's nothing there.
There are pits where people go there and milk cows and get milk. So yeah, we know what
it means. You could think of venom of a snake. Maybe like a woman's tits. You could do
it. But like, I guess you could jerk it off milking it. But I don't watch that genre.
Maybe this guy just shared his favorite porn genre and we didn't realize it.
That must be it because I don't watch those videos myself.
It's not my thing.
Like speaking of Asians, growing out of a bus.
I'm like, what?
It's just what I like, you know.
It's just...
I guess that joke wasn't as good as.
I'm a comb salesman.
Oh, there's another great throw away line later on after that one. There's a homo in your car.
Where's that going?
These are just punchlines, baby. They're just one-liders. You can't pay no. I hope they bring up hobo sexual. You know they do.
There's no way they don't. That is a hack joke they must do.
Another thing they do to fill time is they have an advice segment. Now, typically
on an advice, I mean, like Dick Mrson does these people write in to Dick Masterson to ask him for
his advice, typically on dating and things like that. But this is not that, they go to a subreddit.
They go to a subreddit and read, I believe the subreddit is called Am I the asshole?
And then they read something and then have a long
drought discussion about it.
But the person who was posting that will never hear it,
it's not like they wrote it into their show
and they're looking for the answers.
So there's just a waste of everybody's time
that they're trying to give out this advice.
Here's an example.
People need advice. We like giving it.
They send their advice questions to other people
and then we hijack it and answer their advice. And usually the people stupid sometimes we usually we have our own advice we do absolute
Neaters and you can send that in. Do you imagine if we just cherry pick people's questions from the internet and then ridiculed them?
It's not a bad far about actually. I should look into that
Who are these reddethers?
Jingles, you got a sign for that, ready to go?
Oh, no.
Look at that, good answer.
No and no.
All right.
I have one more clip here.
I didn't write notes about it because I messed up.
So let's see what this is.
It's just called I'm confused.
I learned that a lot of the audience isn't sure
if the large thing referring to Kelly's private moments was a turd or her badge
We all get confused about that. I'm confused now. That came up. Yeah, usually in staff meetings.
Did he say turd or her badge? I believe so. I believe so. That is so insulting. You think?
I believe so. That is so insulting. You think? Well, it didn't get a laugh from anybody though. And then he said staff meetings, which is obviously a penis show that didn't fly. Like, they're talking about
fucking Kelly at the meetings. Like, yeah, it's, you know, it's you that again. That came up. Yeah, usually in staff meetings.
Her turd came up in a staff meeting. Her badge and her bo, Poli. They're just gonna fuck Kelly. That's all in
Rachel and her boyfriend watching. It's like, that's gonna
happen. I think you're right. Maybe I do need to become a
fancy idiot. And then right when they come on her face, she
has to yell, I'm a comb salesman. That's all the
salesman. Love it. That's the safe word. So this show is mind-boggling, confusing.
I'm not sure if they're gaining audience, if it's not for the radio show.
I can't imagine people are discovering this podcast.
Like you looked for this podcast, you found a couple episodes on Spotify.
They were like teaser episodes, right?
I found those and also you could find, a lot of the free clips on YouTube are just they do a trivia thing
And there's a lot of that where it's you know, it's a caller calls in in battles either Kelly or Joe and it's just
Slightly long and they're just a lot of silence and then the host messes up most of the questions and then go, sorry
I read it wrong in the middle of the trivia thing. It's painful. Yeah, I listen to that too.
The trivia questions are super easy.
They'll say, what's a four letter word that has three asses in it?
Me, also, not listen, you made it even harder.
It was, what's a four letter word that means attitude that has three asses in it?
It literally told you the word.
And here's the best part of that dumb clip.
When you don't want an answer, you have to say pass.
Right. So they would say, Pat, the guy answered and said,
says, but the host didn't give him credit because he thought he said,
pass. It's like, how the fuck you fucked that up?
That's not a good question.
If it sounds like pass,
and then the last one was like, he read it wrong.
I was supposed to get a risotto, but he's like, name a pasta grain that's in water,
and they're both like, didn't know what to do.
And at the end, he goes, oh, I'm sorry.
I read it completely wrong.
It's risotto.
They're like, wait, what?
Like, you're with one job, fucking free beer.
I know you're going through a divorce,
the times are tough and you can't jerk off,
but read the goddamn fucking question.
Yeah, this segment is ridiculous
because they're trying to prove how stupid everybody is.
And yes, everybody on the show is stupid and all the listeners are stupid. That's what we learned
from that segment. I okay, great. Good job. Call them idiots on purpose. It's not like it's ironic.
You're all idiots. It's, it makes sense. You know who's not idiots. Anthony Kumya and Brian Johnson.
Now, Brian Johnson has been on the show. We gotta get him back again, sometimes soon.
He had some kind words for us when he was on.
The Anthony Kumia show this past week.
I just wanted to play a quick clip from that.
They're talking about Anthony's moving out of New York.
He's selling his house.
He wants to move down South and he said,
hey, if I just put the skyline,
the New York skyline up behind me,
because that's what he uses as his green screen background,
it's like no one will even know where I am,
so it doesn't matter.
And of course, this leads to
settling John conversations.
I think doesn't stuttering John have a background
that's not actually his house or something.
Yeah, he downloaded it from fucking,
I think if you put living room in Google,
it's the first picture that came up.
That's what, who are these podcasts said?
And down there.
And it just hilarious.
I fucking, those guys.
Oh, they're so funny.
Oh, thanks everybody.
Thanks to everyone involved.
Dave, feel free to listen every now and again.
He called me Kyle the other day.
That's close.
It's close.
I'll give it though.
Stuttering John has a Patreon.
And someone in the Discord just showed me the update.
I guess he's up to 19 Patreon supporters.
19. Honestly, that's up to 19 Patreon supporters 19
Honestly, that's pathetic and depressing for him, but a lot more than I thought he was gonna get
I
Want to know who these people are. I wouldn't know they are too. I guarantee one of them is his sister
One of them is probably Royce yet two of our him
He's got you know his ex co-host all these co-hosts that feel bad for him are on there
Maybe no one can I figure you'd be one He's got his ex-cohoes, all these cohoes that feel bad for him are on there.
Maybe no one can.
How much?
I would figure you'd be one.
No, I am not one because you don't have to be.
He says that when you sign up for his Patreon,
you get exclusive beer on the balcony episodes.
Now beer on the balcony are the episodes
where he likes to drink beer on his balcony
and answer questions.
Basically respond to trolls, which
is fun. You know, those are fun episodes. I think Krozer had a lot of great clips last week
from that. But good news. You don't have to be on page. I can not figure it out.
Is anybody here from Patreon? All right. So Nicky me got here for the link. Okay.
All right, so Nicky be got here for the link. Okay
So I'm not I got it you know, I got it. You know, I got it. You know, I got to figure it out Yeah, he's going on YouTube like he always does anyone subscribe to the channel gets the notification
John is now live on YouTube. He puts the wink on patreon like that's how that works at all you idiot
You got to make it a private I only want to explain it to him
I just think it's really funny that he tried to do a patron only episode for us, you know, dozen patrons.
And like he's got a lemonade stand in wrote free and then stood there with a register going if you want to pay, you can't. Why would I you wrote free?
I explain it. You wrote free. It's free. Why would I? I'm going to go in and hear the same dumb thing for money.
Why would I be oh you know I'm gonna go in and hear the same dumb thing for money
So still are just still can't get out of his own way and we've been talking about John too much So I'm not gonna harp on that today even though he was going after Anthony Kubi a pretty hard and I decided you know
I'm gonna let that go. I don't need to keep this going. It's fine. I was mad when I started seeing him battle with other people
I'm like no you fight with Carl you fight with no one you motherfucker. I don't like when he's battling other people
Yeah, yeah, why is Chrissy mayor stealing my stick?
Come on.
It's my busy
Dabbling in what you do
Yeah
All right as you guys know last week we had John C. DeVorack from the Noah agenda show come on W ATP
And he talked about that on the next episode of No Agenda
that they recorded the day after he recorded with us. And he has some nice
things to say about it so of course I want to play that for everyone.
Saturday did finally did for these podcasts. Oh you finally did the show fantastic.
Yeah how was it? All right well those guys are brutal. It's a good show I think
people should listen to it. It's date,
but these guys are so brutal. So brutal. I mean, how brutal are they? So, I mean, they
really go after these people and poor podcast producers, they go after them in big, but
it, but in a really big, the big ridiculeing way. Nice.
So it's actually a very funny podcast.
You want to sing a live with us one day?
Can we take a break?
Big three laps.
I was taking a big three lap.
This is two of the shows that tell you why you go sit back.
It's taking a big deal. Yeah
So obviously when people like John C. DeVorek say that we're brutal and
Brian Johnson says that we're hilarious. We like to play those clips
Please keep talking about how awesome we are so that I could fill up some time because I got a full time over here
Traffic still going strong on the 490
I got a full time over here. Traffic still going strong. I'm the 490.
All right. The back with cars with the comb salesman are out there trying to sell them combs.
So the reason why Jen from the Jingle's department is here is because
her and I listened to an entire episode of Dead Town.
Doug from the Jingle's department recommended that we do this.
Yeah, I'm angry with him.
Doug is obsessed with Patrick Michael.
He's changed his schedule and life around listening
to every single thing that Patrick Michael puts out,
which by the way is a lot now.
He's got this new one called
Life from the trailer park or something like that.
I'm hearing good things about that.
When that's where he has co-hosts on.
He's got a little more energy.
He's fired up a little bit.
But we listened to an episode of Dead Town.
And Dead Town has long been one of my favorites
because it's all about paranormal.
Let's get into it.
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Because I'm certain.
So this episode, he decides to, what he's going to do,
is going to watch a horror movie on Amazon Prime and podcast during it.
But instead, he finds, I'm gonna play the clip that
sets this up. You guys will hear for yourselves what the format is of this episode. I'm doing it live,
sort of. Okay. Basically, that just means that I'm gonna record while I watch it. And I'm alone.
And I'm alone. It's the middle of the night.
It is actually 1.15 in the morning.
I have one light on.
I got a candle going.
So we watch as this documentary that has to do
with paranormal activity.
These guys are ghost hunters or whatever the fuck.
And the claim is there's real paranormal activity
captured on tape for the first time.
And it's in this
documentary. So this intrigue is Patrick Michael enough that he's going to sit there and watch it.
Now this isn't one of those things where he says, all right, everyone has Amazon primes. You can
watch this along with me. We're going to hit play right now and away we go. No, it's literally just
him watching something and he'll just be commenting on shit that you can't even hear what he's talking about.
So it's not even a watch along where you're like, you know, you're gonna go with him and do the whole thing.
It's just him what you're just listening to him watching.
You're just listening to him watching something that isn't he doesn't enjoy very much.
It's insane. It's an hour long while he sets the mood with a candle like he's a like a exhausted mom after bringing kids to soccer,
sitting in the top. I got candles and I've got your little lotions.
It's like, 1 a.m. is not late, you asshole.
Most people here listening are up to 1 a.m.
Well, the funny thing is that he talks about how wouldn't it be great to go to an actual
haunted house and podcasts from there?
And this is one of the things that he does that I always enjoy where he brings up an idea and then talks himself out of it, decides that it was a bad idea and he shouldn't
do it.
I mean, truly, that would be a fucking great idea to take the podcast on the road into a
haunted house and podcast, do a whole episode, hour and a half, 90 minutes, sit there in
the dark, one candle, and just do what I'm doing right now.
But of course it'd be darker and I wouldn't have sound of the TV or anything like that.
It would be terrifying, truly. That's a bad idea.
No, be crazy. I'm scared to shit myself in podcasts. Oh no, I should be terrifying.
I would shit myself. Never mind. I don't want to do that at all. It's a really bad idea
He is there's so many gems in this episode so many things jumped out at me where he just says shit because
He's talking but he can't make sense in his own brain. So earlier that comes out is nonsense. Here's an example
So apparently this documentary has a narrator. I mean they have a narrator. There's a guy talking
But then again, how important is that when you know most people are talking these days
Brilliant observation
Did you know most people are talking these days that the mute's my most people
Even job people give it a whirl
Turn up the Helen Keller. Sorry. You couldn't be involved in this but the rest of you. Yeah, most people are talking and walking these days
And his plan was the documentary is not that impressive. Yeah, they have a narrator, but a lot of people talk, okay
I don't know if that really shuts down the argument about why this doc sucks, but why don't even understand what the point is I don't either
It'd be even worse if nobody was talking you're staring at a screen. You don't know what's going on
Like that's why he's there he's there a nearing it's not like it's just a thing
He just can't like some guys out rambling and just talking for no reason you need the fucking guy
Shut up and pay attention to the narrator to you and it's nice to say.
And he has the closed captioning on and he explains he has to have closed captioning. So he's literally reading this stuff as he's talking to us about it.
So he'll say things like other playing creepy music because you know like when you have the
closed captioning I'll say creepy music. And then it'll like start being like why don't
it play creepy music? Don't, dummy. It's just telling you what the audio is right now.
If you want to hear what it sounds like you can turn it up. You can hear. I wish that he had because I have no idea what he was watching.
Oh, I have no idea. And I wasn't interested enough to look it up. I can't even tell you the name of it.
It's like first contact or something like that. I even know. He was bitching about the name of the
thing. This is a fun observation that he makes. They're talking about these ghost hunters are all tatted up.
And he notices that as they're talking about this house
they're gonna go to with his paranormal activity,
the guys are taking notes down.
And he goes, isn't that crazy?
Tatted up dudes are taking notes,
which yeah, the face you're making
at me right now, Jen, is perfect.
Like, what, why is that crazy?
And then he realizes, oh wait, everyone has tattoos.
And this conversation is mind-boggling.
This is amazing.
But again, today, in these days, so many people have tattoos
that they don't have this, I'm a badass background.
They just have the tattoos, because I like art.
I'm an artist, and I really like art. I'm an artist and I really like art.
I wanted to showcase my art on my body.
It's like, yeah, you did. I bet you did.
Cool, man.
Is it helping at all?
Like, are you selling paintings now because you have a bunch of tattoos on your face?
What's he talking about?
How does he make the leap from people who really like art get tattoos?
True.
Two, are you trying to sell your paintings because of your tattoos?
No, well, he's also implying that every tattoo on someone's body that person actually drew it with
Yes, that is the
Yes, I wouldn't think if I saw someone with an awesome sleeve that they're the ones you came over that design
Absolutely not. I would imagine they did it themselves. I think even things they did it themselves. Right. By the way, if you're going to do a tattoo
guys voice, worse character, that's not the voice of anybody with tattoos. He's like,
Oh, I've got arm. That's not tough guy tattoo voice. That's the biker gang coming to
the town. It's the gay biker gang. It's the the hello angels and they came in and they're like,
Hello, we have tattoos please buy our art.
It's like, no, that's the whole joke at the beginning was people with tattoos are morons and therefore can't write notes.
If you're going to make that stupid joke that's from the 1980s,
at least go with it and make the guy stupid.
All of a sudden now he sounded like a smart nerd who happened to have tattoos that he actually drew himself. It is now trying to sell. Like, how do you sell your skin?
I don't even know you. It's on you. You're not convincing. Are you a tattoo artist?
That's the best thing about Patrick Michael is he'll make an observation and then
shut on his own point and talk himself out of it. She's heckled himself. Like I was standing up.
Yeah.
And then like when Jim Gaffigan does like that voice
that echoes him, he did that like in a shittier way.
He's just like, he did a joke then with that joke's dumb.
And it's like, oh, he just shut himself down.
My dad has tattoos.
You know, he did the little Jim Gaffigan aside things.
Did another voice as my dad's dead.
How dare you?
And it's like, whoa, where's he going with this? All right, let's hear some more nonsense from this guy.
You say, Hey, yeah, I want to make a podcast. Hopefully get some listens,
listeners. And then the world didn't know it. When I do it. And it's there. And he got it.
Doug actually made a video with that little clip right there. This is it.
That's the fucking nonsense.
Alright, let's get back to the ghosts.
He explains how stupid ghosts are because all they can do is move books around.
So he's decided that ghosts must be dumb people.
There's stuck on earth, but nobody can see them.
And they're so dumb that they can't figure out how to get a message across in the proper way. They're like, oh, I'm going to move this chair or book. Or I'm going to
make it cold in this one area for a second. Oh, so he's not kind of realizing that it might not be
that easy to just act like a normal human being. If you are just an entity within this dimension,
human being if you are just an entity within this dimension. He's such an idiot. It's almost like the ghost isn't a person. Yeah, it's almost like the ghost only has certain things
they can do and they're trying to communicate as best they can, but they can't just be like,
hey, what's going on producer Chris? I'm the one hot in this place.
Wanna watch a movie later? I'd like you to. You would refer him to the movie ghost.
That would probably help explain.
You should watch that movie and talk about it.
Oh god.
Imagine and watch the, I think that's the guy from Roadhouse,
but I'm not sure.
That's the guy that makes my pants tight.
So I'll put that ghost in the corner.
I have a corner in my room.
Oh, I was putting the corner once when I was bad.
I sell art to people in the corner.
So what? You can't sell art to the corner. There's no one in the corner. Why are you selling art there?
With your face on page John for free. Oh, wait, that's not a huge
So this guy is very skeptical of ghosts
He doesn't believe that they're real because the things that they do seem silly to him
But he does make this a mission. I've been been one of those that has tried to, you know,
conjure a spirit, not in a weird way.
Wait, he's tried to conjure a spirit before.
I don't know where he was trying to conjure a spirit.
And then he say, but not in a weird way.
Is that a normal way?
The normal way that you do.
You gotta start bucks, you order a flopping. It's gonna go swear, is the normal way that you do Normally that you got bucks you got to start bucks your order of flopping is great ghost
Where are you the normal way that you do it?
that weird way
So he's talking about he's talking about all of the paranormal activity that's happening in this haunted house that these ghost hunters go to
By the way, yeah, we were listening to this
Could you make sense of what was going on?
No. It was so random because it's impossible. He has such long breaks in between every sentence
that he says. Because he's reading the subtitles. Because he's reading something while we're
listening to him podcast. Which is riveting to here. Yes. And then he'll just say random things
reacting to things on the screen. So just the reason why I'm telling you this is because I worked very hard trying to figure out the fuck he's talking about.
It really took my mind's eye to figure out what is going on that he's reacting to.
So, apparently this ghost is haunting an arm war.
And this gets Patrick Michael explaining when an arm war is to everybody.
Of all things you could do or choose to do, you're're like I would open the arm war. What's up?
I think it's an arm war. It's the it's like a closet that you can move around
It has a
I don't know what you call it. It has a thing
Wheels maybe I don't know. It's a chest but it's large I'm gonna stop
explaining cuz you know who cares I guess I do I know what is
pretty no functions and he can't stop talking oh my god I guess I don't know what
I'm talking about or do I know what I'm talking about no I don't I guess I should
stop talking yes yes I should stop talking. Yes. Yes, I should stop talking.
That was his first time of self awareness and it was amazing because he's like no one cares. Oh wait, I guess I do.
There's like shit.
He finally figured out that sums up all his podcasts. Nobody cares. Oh wait, I do sums up. I don't think he's ever done.
Yeah, I hope he does. He's the one doing the podcast. I can't just one person gave us doing.
It's got to be you.
So that he talks about the big reveal is they have footage
of a cabinet with the cabinet doors opening and glasses
or coffee mugs or something flying off the shelves
and smashing.
And this is the footage that the reason why he watched this documentary was to see this
footage that really shows real paranormal activity. The cabinet above the roll next to the stove opens
with the glasses in it and one glass flies out another glass flies out both of them break.
It's like so you're telling me the whole time that cabinet has had glasses in it.
And the ghost decided not to fuck with them until there was people.
Okay, so he thinks how dumb is that that the ghost would wait until there was a camera crew there
in order to do this. Earlier he said these dummies don't know how to communicate all they can do is move stuff
and then he finally figures out that he's the retard.
So yeah, apparently the lady who lives in the cabin or stays there hasn't really dealt
with anything like the glasses breaking, which is what they've said, but at the same time,
why would he, you know, why break the glasses while these random people are there?
You know, you're trying to talk obviously in a weird way. You're trying to say something, but
Then again, I don't know. Yes, he got there. He finally got there.
He's not a big believe himself. He didn't believe himself.
But that can't be it.
But I don't know.
And then at the very end after he's watched this whole doc and he's been shitting on it,
he doesn't like it, he says thus.
So we have like 10 minutes left of this whole movie and still nothing.
There's not one thing that has been proof enough to me.
But who do you want?
That's what they said would happen.
It happened. Now one thing is happening.
That's remarkable. I mean, okay, don't get me wrong.
There was that scene where glasses just shattered off of a cabinet.
But other than that, that was a thing.
And if real ghosts were discovered for real asshole, it'd be on the news.
We would all know about only shit there really are.
Go get your're watching the show
where it's going to be disbelief and you have to like buy that's the whole fucking point
of a documentary that we don't even know what it is. It's so unknown. We can't even know
one here even the discord. No one can even guess what the fuck movie it is because ghosts
aren't real asshole. And if they are, they are going to try to contact you with a camera
zone because that's the whole point of the goddamn show.
Yes, they says I think what's going to happen, it did.
And then he says nothing happened and that realizes that he was wrong about that.
Nothing happened, but the books moving, the glass is hitting and the ghost being there.
Like those are the things.
That's it.
Yes, right.
That's what I mean.
They started out this damn movie saying, ah, real paranormal activity, real footage.
Like, yeah, I mean it was captured on a camera, so I guess that is considered footage.
Yes!
I guess it's considered footage.
I did just see it while watching this video, so I guess so.
Yes!
It's it! What else you want from them a seal of authenticity
And what else can they do? I just like that he learns words during the show
It's like he didn't know what footage met and then he gave himself the definition in then he said the word again
He's like they said there was footage. I know there was just like video of it happening
Oh wait, that's footage. Okay. Yeah, that's what the word means dummy
Twinage
It's almost like it's not false advertising like they delivered. I want they promised
But this dummy it is had you know figured out that this was gonna suck
So we just had to like keep that going the whole time like keep that narrative going when he should have done
Just like oh holy shit!
That was the thing!
They finally did it!
It said he's like, this is stupid.
Apparently this ghost is throwing glasses around.
That's pretty remarkable, I would think.
That's something I would watch, but.
I was just gonna say, I would watch it.
I wanna know what it is now.
All right, well, because of him though.
Well, he made it very clear that it's free on Amazon Prime.
Then he wanted to do a whole thing about Amazon Prime that was fascinating.
Because Amazon Prime is like the Walmart of all these services.
Because they don't have anything that you'd ever want to watch.
Unless you want to pay for it, then they have everything.
Like, yeah, right.
That's the cool thing about Amazon Prime is you can watch anything that you want,
but you have to pay three bucks or six bucks.
And he does it. It's the same as saying. I know. is you can watch anything that you want, but you have to pay three bucks or six bucks.
And he does it.
It's the same as not existing to him.
Well, the free ones are the bargain bin.
And then there's other things on there.
And if you're enticed to watch them, you have to pay.
Somehow, I don't know if you know this, Amazon has a couple dollars.
They know what they're doing and it works out.
Yeah, you tease people with one thing, you know, a hand job and then you'll offer the,
you know, the whole sex with the money.
That's why the world works.
Yes.
Okay.
That's Bezos this way.
You know, he spits on it a little bit but you don't get to shove it in there unless you
throw him six bucks.
And it makes sense.
That's how I watch all the Fast and Furious movies.
How else are you gonna do it?
There's a blockbuster's around here?
I gotta go to Amazon. Yeah, there's no Tommy K's hanging out anywhere in some closet. You gotta go
You gotta go to get this dumb documentary no one will ever see because he doesn't even say the name of it. Patrick Michael
Actually, I apologize this to us for the first time. I'm sorry for wasting your guys' time
I'm keeping that on the board. That is standing on the Patrick Michael board over here
Sorry
All right, so we made fun of you a little bit Patrick. Is that all right? And that's fine. Okay, good
I appreciate it. You sure you're not upset, but that's how little I give a shit about this all right fair enough
I'm auditioning for my Patrick Michael Cole hosting, shall.
Maybe that'll be the bonus episode
of the Patrick Michael.
I would listen.
It'll be a lot of fun.
All right, Pat, we have done it all.
We talked about free beer, we talked about hot wings,
we talked about cheese.
Got it. We got some John and the mix Johnny and Kumi Patrick Michael.
We've got a mission. We had a mission of sorrow Patrick Michael, which by the way is amazing to be there having
finally say I'm sorry I did this to all of you, which we've all been waiting.
Like the priest have finally got caught molesting all the children and they find like I'm sorry. I did all of you
I'm Patrick good. We're happy you finally admitted. Yes, you want them to regret their actions
And that's all we ask for do you regret what you've done? You do. Thank you. Okay, good
Get some clothes. I want to make more horrible shit. You apologize now. You need to start over
It's like you know the Catholic church you've prevented your sin now go on and do more bullshit right now
They move you to a different town and you start all over again
You start did Lynn again
So we've done it on which means it's time for everybody's favorite part of the show
This is the part of the show we play a clip from the podcast. We'll be reviewing on next weeks
W-A-T-P This is the part of the show we play a clip from the podcast that we'll be doing on next weeks w a t p and we're still in joktober now this show is going to be released on
November 1st because we released on Sundays but we recorded it on Halloween. So I'm including
this in our joktober month of October. This will be the last radio show that we're doing.
I actually had to take more pills yesterday. Oh, what?
Because I'm getting pitched out by everybody.
We've everybody.
I got a list of stuff.
I'll tell you here in a minute.
I got pitched out about the feed cutting out early on the YouTube stream.
Are you fat fingered itself?
No, he really didn't.
No, I know.
It was cellular willy.
You know, I'm on spectrum. It's not the best cellular. You, he really didn't know. I know it was cellular willy. You know, I'm on I'm on spectrum
It's not the best cellular you're on the spectrum. Yeah, let's just call it this. I'm on the spectrum
This would be none other than bubble love spawn
He's got a pod oh yeah, he's got a podcast called
Bubba army podcast and
I have never listened to Bubba. He was on
Series XM for a while on one of the Howard Stern channels. So I
would catch bits and pieces and Howard would play a little bits
here and there. But I don't know a lot about Bubba's love
spun. I know he was very popular in radio and now he's trying
to get hoping to co-host a show with him. So I heard about that.
I mean, he ruined Hogan's life and I was going to ruin Opie.
Oh, he's doing on his own. He's going to ruin OP even more.
Yeah, so that'll be a lot of fun listening to Bubba's show. And if anybody has any background info,
any lore that I should know about, feel free to send that in to the show because I do feel bad.
Some of these shows like free beer and hot wings shows been on for 20 years. They have rotating
different guest co-hosts. As you rotating different guest co-hosts as you mentioned
New co-hosts cropping in and out. Eric Zane used to be on the show
Eric Zane now friend of WATP and so I don't know everything there is to know and I try my best
You know, I listen to like 13 14 minutes of a show and I go all right. I'm gonna shit on it
I know everything about it. That's that's what I qualify as my best. So that's what I do. If you can give me some more info, I'd be great. I love that.
Pat, I want to thank you for coming on the show. You were fantastic. And where can we find you if we want to listen to more Pat Oats?
Thanks for having back. I love being on the show. It's once again nice to be on the good side.
And yes, you are brutal, but in the best way, I've also been that admission and I've enjoyed I learned a lot of being on the bad side. And yes, you are brutal, but in the best way, I've also been that admission. And I've enjoyed, I learned a lot of being on the
bad side. I'm happy to be on the side, shitting on freebeard hot
wings. Just go to my YouTube channel, patos YouTube channel. Most of
my shows are on there. I have three shows now. I have the
patos podcast, POS and a pot of files. So go check all those out.
Very good. We will check that out. Your podcast thinks
well, well, come on, man.
The guy started to plug his stuff. That's so rude. So please join us again next week. It might be
the episode we find out once and for all. Who are these podcasts? Leave well, everybody.
Starting in the most bits of morning radio. Show these cold white nails. Mm. OK. Great show. Good job, everybody.
Great job, everyone. I'm not sure if I can do it. I'm not sure if I can do it. I'm not sure if I can do it.
I'm not sure if I can do it.
I'm not sure if I can do it.
I'm not sure if I can do it.
I'm not sure if I can do it.
I'm not sure if I can do it.
I'm not sure if I can do it.
I'm not sure if I can do it.
I'm not sure if I can do it.
I'm not sure if I can do it.
I'm not sure if I can do it. I'm not sure if I can do it. I'm not sure if I can't know.
I don't get it.
It makes no sense.
We're going to try something in real time here, Jen, since we have you on the show.
Okay.
So we have the reviews jingle that you recorded for Vic.
But now, Vic is in the rear view.
No one even talks about Vic anymore.
It's all about Casey.
So we're gonna do this in real time and play the jingle.
And I need you to jump in with Casey's name instead of Vex.
Casey.
Okay, here we go. We will, we will, we will, we will...
With Casey.
Waaaaah!
Yeah!
It was an execution!
Oh, man, dang it.
How could anyone make fun of these podcasts?
That's the problem, is that we're so good at what we do,
that people can't even slap us back.
I felt under pressure.
Casey, how's it going? Oh, it's fine, how are you? people can't even slap us back. I felt under pressure.
Casey, how's it going?
Oh, it's fine, how are you?
There's that energy. I love it.
I love it. I'm getting sleepy.
I'm sorry.
She sounds like how I feel.
Yeah.
That's how I feel too.
She's a scratcher.
People think that you're
screwed out.
Feel like you're struggling out
of hard drugs.
Have you seen these
habits?
I have.
I've never taken an opioid in my life.
The hardest drugs I've ever done.
Shrooms like three years ago.
I don't know.
You mentioned last week, Casey, you live in more of a
rural area and you said that there was an explosion near your house. Was that a
meth lab? Apparently one of the so I live on a lake and someone across the lake
has a report cannon. Okay, it's not it's not a big lake, but they have a report canon. Okay, it's not a big week, but they have a report canon,
but they just set off in the middle of the day, I guess.
They're fun.
Just try to fuck with my podcast.
I bet it was Stuttering John.
Who did that?
I don't think Stuttering John could afford
to live on this lake.
He's pretty broke.
Oh, man.
He's just... He came to move as apartment to be like front property.
Yeah, right.
You know, it's like a shitty like, yeah.
Oh, that's probably true.
Casey, you got some new reviews for us?
I sure do.
Oh, awesome.
Let's see what people are saying.
This is where the masters have to give us some feedback.
What are we doing?
Right?
What do we do?
Let's find out. There's some feedback. All right. Okay.
First one, arrogant and host, but that's spit.
These guys cannot come up with their own ideas. So they have to make
fun of others to create content. The new review girl sounds like she's had
too much quailudes and gong.
All right. I'm going to say that's a five star. If they know there's a new
review girl, what do you guys think?
That's a five star five star. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, this is a hot topic. Yeah
Not Kuelu. That's that was funny. It's a good good reference point by our friends
No, I'm so excited about this concert coming up in 10 months. Would you got to give it like Kuelu's or something?
I was so excited about this concert coming up in 10 months. Would you got to give it like Kuelos or something?
No, no, we don't have to do that.
But thanks for asking.
So excited about corn instead of slipknot.
No, we have an old school guy, but I'm excited about corn.
No, no, it's exciting.
Oh, man.
No, it's excited about corn.
Yeah.
All right.
Talentless by 24-7 waffle hut hunt.
Definitely not worth anybody's time.
That's got to be a one star review because it's not fun or funny.
I bet you're a star.
Two star producer Chris.
Oh, you got to give us a chance.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You're on the room and get our guesses.
So Jen, you know, you've lost a point now.
Producer Chris and I are in the lead.
We're the we're the spin the wheel of consequences.
You do realize that right?
Oh, that's not the spot.
I guess every guy is sort of the big bait stuff.
By the way, I'm excited.
I'll probably play that.
I'm so excited for that.
Yeah, be good.
Okay.
Out of touch boomer by Washington, Washingtonian. What a mean-spirited hateful. Out of
touch, want to be afternoon drive DJ. He made fun of some of the podcasts I listen to, and now my
whole personality is in question. I can't believe he made jokes and mocked my pretend friends. He
obviously just doesn't get our low effort humor.
Carl can't come up with his own ideas.
So he makes fun of other people.
In his write about 99% of the time, five stars, obviously.
It's his way.
Always stay row.
It's as if in the review.
It says five times in the review.
That's a good one.
A lot of good show references in there.
I do appreciate those ones.
They confuse people.
So now the reviews have a theme. Every single one of
them has said, can't come up with his own ideas. So uses
others people's podcasts. Yeah, that's that's been the critique
I've been hearing since day one. That's like a call me back
thing. Is that the new call me back? Can't go over the zone
stuff. Alright. Okay, I do have a read read a wiki page show now
with the creep off.
If you want to hear me read wiki pages like a rather podcast are out there.
I'll do that now.
Yeah, I'm definitely a team Vinnie Winnie.
Oh.
Oh.
No, no hashtag Vinnie Spinney.
That's the hashtag that we should be all using.
Make a spin wheel.
And then we'll stand Vinnie.
Spinney.
All right.
You want me to keep going?
I guess so. You're getting on me to keep going? I guess so.
You're getting on my bad side, but I guess so.
We don't.
Boomer's with a mic by Anna Shored.
If you thought Twitter fingers was bad,
I don't know what that is.
This is worse because you're listening to it.
It's the most outdated form of air quotes comedy.
I didn't even know, still existed.
Comedy for their age is pretty sad because Bill Burr is the same age and killing it.
They're out here still calling people retarded. LOL, okay.
Uh-oh. That someone is a little too weak for this show.
Uh-oh, retarded alert. Retarded alert class. This is obviously a one star review.
You guys want to take a guess? I thought it might be a five star. Okay. No one. Chris
has one. It's a one. I like to read a podcast. If you lift it up, you're figured it out.
How many of you died? I'm bad at this. You're not the best at this. You're gonna have to spin Jenny spinny hashtag Jenny spinny
All right
There's a couple about
Not wanting me and wanting Vic back. Okay, which I don't know if you need to see those
But then Frank Pellegrino left a
review entitled dabble
Dabbling Carl love the show
Thanks Frank
That's probably the real Frank Pellegrino that
Appreciate it buddy
Chrissy mayors boyfriend. Oh hey
Why don't you want to read the ones about how they miss Vic and they think you suck. Oh, okay, I can read those. I don't know if you wanted me to wait every once time. Obviously you want Vic back
Less new review girl by fruity Judy. We want Vic. That's that one
Okay, and then the next one is new review girl is torture
That's a brilliant joke I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I fall foliage. I think it's gorgeous.
We saw a waterfall.
We saw yesterday.
Yeah.
I was wondering.
Falling rocks.
Falling rocks.
From Clifford.
We've done it all on our vacation.
Now we're doing a podcast with Casey.
All right.
What else you got?
Yeah.
I'm torture.
That one just says, I can't wait for Vic to get thrown out of the Navy
So
That's all I have today, all right very good great job KC
We got some voicemails that I want to play for you guys starting with this one that's got some production going on
What's up?
W a t p your boy James obsolete just wanted to leave a quick voicemail to tell you how shit your audio was last episode.
Once out of the audio kept cutting out, I thought it was my AirPods breaking or something,
but then I kept happening in my car and I knew it was your fucking ass.
In fact, here's a clip that sums up the episode.
I just cut out so bad, Carl.
Clean up your fucking audio next time.
Alright, by the way, love the three hour long episode, next time shoot for a four or
five hour.
James up, sleet out.
Let's see that dick.
Alright, Vinnie the Poolyan of Big Me, here you go.
Wow, this guy's got bits, he's got his own thing going on there.
Alright, so guess what?
Our mixing board shitted the bed last week
and I didn't realize it, why did realize it
and I tried to fix it, it did not work.
So it happens throughout the show.
Fortunately, producer Chris here has a Zoom recorder
of all things and we get a room recording
so I was able to try to put that audio,
which sounded like garbage,
try to put that audio into the show
as you can figure out what we were talking about.
It took me hours to do that.
Think I have the bills to never want to climb game.
I don't know what I would have done.
So we hours to do that.
And then I just get shit on,
cause it sound like, yeah, it sound like shit.
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
Hopefully it's not happening this week.
I don't even know.
But good job from James,
absolutely, thanks for doing that.
Also, friend of the show, crippled Jesus. Calls in to us.
Hey, Carl. It's crippled Jesus. And I was listening to the episode and you've got
a John C. Duborak on. And I thought I would make a confession.
I'm not actually crippled at all, Carl.
It's just a performance.
The wheel chair is a prop that I got at the post-moderant store.
So yeah, I'll just let you guys bask in in my post-mider and artistic genius and also Carl. I'm gonna be at
Road rage Tampa. So I'll see you there buddy later. Hey, come on Jesus always brings it with his phone calls
I can't wait always fun. Yeah, I had only I've made this announcement yet, but I will be at the road rage Tampa December 12th.
That's the Dix show that's when he does his live shows
on the road, and I'll be going on.
I think the Goofon Banana Docks or something.
We'll have some fun.
So there's tickets on sale.
Casey's gonna be there.
Yeah.
You can come and meet our review girl Casey.
We're gonna have crippled Jesus there.
The guys from Revenge of the Sists are gonna be there
Ryan Long who's been on the show.
He's gonna be there.
Mad Cucks is gonna be there.
So that's gonna be a lot of fun.
I'm looking forward to it.
Hopefully it's not a super spreader event.
You probably will be.
Well, maybe not COVID, but.
Luckily, yeah.
Yeah, something.
Yeah. Luckily, Yeah,
Luckily, I'll be up on stage the way from all you freaks.
Keep your mask on.
All right.
What else we have going on in the world of voicemails?
In Besile will help call it in and has some comments about our friend Casey.
I'm sure you're here.
This message is not for the pre-pull.
I wanted to call to congratulate Casey on her new position as a review girl.
Carl, you said you wanted someone with low energy and with Casey, you get the energy of
a woman who was gang bang so hard that she is too tired to
clean out her aura of his. Well done. Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no, sorry, back.
If you're in your low energy described in such a way, I mean that was pulling it No, we're in my life. That's amazing. Yeah, that was pretty good
That was pretty good. Hey our friend Tucker Dixon caught into the show again
Hey Carl Tucker Dixon here. Let me help you out. Let's get stuck in these DJs in to help you
They suck every single one of them does the same thing. Oh, man. you guys are so brutal. Oh, wow, you guys really go for the throw
I got nothing to add here. Okay, let's go into a real quick history lesson about this guy back in the 90s
This guy was popular on some small station and now he's not popular anymore
You guys are brutal.
You're killing him here.
Okay, there you go.
Don't have any more of them on.
Tucker out.
He doesn't make a good point.
All right.
I mean, Tucker, Tucker does what he's talking about.
Gotta give it to him.
He sums it up well.
He does sum it up well.
Yeah.
Hey, in the morning she knew Carl.
This was Teresa.
Sorry, I sound like shit again.
I got a head pulled for my kid.
But anyways, yeah, bottle fucking time.
He got the water.
Teresa, be lost attractive in the things that she says.
She's just always.
What?
What are you doing?
She's stressed.
She's just kidding.
bottle fucking time.
We got the water back on there.
Great episode. So. How many times does Justin worked in your podcast Jesus Christ Yeah, but it's fucking time you got to war back on there great episode
So how many times is just you worked in your podcast about fucking die on dare you to reason
But yeah, all I can say is I'm glad Casey won she sounds like she's gonna do pretty damn good
She does read the news and not being a depressed email content like
read the video, not being a depressed email content like
Vic was, so, well, not that she was depressed, but she still can't, let's be honest.
She was too easy.
Yeah, and the correct owner guy,
he was kind of close on her map.
I'm actually from North Dakota,
not that it really matters.
We're one and the fucking same,
but yeah, that's about it.
All right, tell me back. Bye. I was gonna guess Minnesota. Yeah, but yeah, that's about it. All right, call me back.
I was going to guess Minnesota.
Yeah, same thing.
Same accident.
Yeah.
Wait, so I don't sound like a depressed emo client.
Yeah, I think she caught herself there.
Victor was always smile talking.
Yeah.
Yeah, for the smile talk queen as people like to say,
nobody says that.
I will tell you, I'm getting more feedback
that Patrick Michael is growing on people to the point
where they're no longer listening for the goof,
they're just enjoying his shows.
Oh man.
Carl, what have you done?
You turned me on to the fucking briefcase podcast.
Fuck you.
This is an amazing, amazing podcast.
I just got done listening to the corn episode,
which if you're listening, dear listeners, please,
please check this episode out.
He starts his episode like 10 separate times.
I can't tell if it's a mistake,
if he's really struggling with the anchor.fm editor,
or if he thinks this is just like a funny,
cool thing he's doing,
because later on in the episode,
he does it with his fucking ad read too.
He says the same ad read over and over again,
several times in a row, like it, it, it, it really
sends you on a path. You're really just wondering what is going on in this man's head. It, it
is amazing. Call me back. That is the brilliance of Patrick Michael. You can't tell if its performance
are or if he's the dumbest person that we're talking to a microphone and you just gotta keep
tuning in to find out he's find out. He's postmodern.
It's postmodern.
I wouldn't be surprised if I play this for JCD and he was like, this guy is a true artist.
This genius.
He would say that.
He probably would say that.
So it was genius.
All right.
So this is Shane from Australia.
I took a note for myself when I was editing these or not editing them, but curating
these just to wait for the punchline at the end.
Hi, Carl.
It's Shane from Australia.
Just watching the tele on my Friday night, which is their one else's Sunday night, and
having a couple. And there's some show about people killing each other in Gary,
Indiana. And that made me think of Ashley Michael, and that made me think of W-A-T-P,
which makes me think of Big, F-T. Anyway, hold me back. Ha ha ha ha.
It's so funny to me that people actually take the time
to call and just say that.
Yeah.
That's so like it.
I thought I said too.
She's very polarizing.
Oh, Vic.
What are my favorite collars?
Is crippled Jesus' roommate?
Can you remember him?
Oh, yes.
Yeah, he's great.
Hey, Carl, Austin Malaykum.
Get your boy, Kirk, Luigi Muhammad again.
Hey, listen, man.
As far as those parties went, we had to stop throwing those.
Bro, crippled Jesus is an animal.
So what is nice guys to stop fool you?
He fucks.
And he'll fuck all sorts of chicks.
So real hand-planet types, you can know what I mean. And as you know, pork is a real'll fuck all sorts of chicks. So real hand plan types, you can know what
I mean. And as you know, pork is a real big no no for us. Hey, who will the podcast
weather? Keep up the go. Oh, and he can walk the world. I'm fully with that wheelchair
stuff. All right, man, take care. Call me back. You know, the paraplegics are always thinking
like just because you can't use your legs. You know, stop crying about it.
And this guy is outing crippled Jesus.
That's interesting.
crippled Jesus.
Your roommate says you could walk.
What's say you, my friend?
Shots fired.
And
Steve validation.
Let's find out more about our show with John C.
DeVorack and how people enjoyed him on the
show
take our own case uh...
i'm just listening back to uh...
the latest episode with a john c to warrk and
that guy saying that
scourged
like it's rumors would listen to scourged
has to be worth a dumbest fucking things i've ever heard yeah first off you
raised a good point
zoomers don't know how to use a fucking radio
but second of all
we didn't call for them it's just
it's something everyone fucking smoke
like they're not going to allow that guys cool as the guy talk about weed
we make fun of weed people just as much as anybody else does
it doesn't make sense and it they've got so many better things to pay
attention to. We've got YouTube, we've got better podcasts. Why would we listen to Scorch? Oh, he
talked about we good. I like we not. That's fucking moron. The zoomer was personally offended that JCD thought zoomers would enjoy
scorch and that was one of the number of things that JCD sat out of show for
show that that guy's not appealing to anyone there's no one listening to that
show. No, I know I'm like scorch. I love that we tortured
crows with it though. I did not know that this guy wants to introduce the
butthole surfer as a and close been pissed off and ever since
hilarious
If we got any feedback on the audio quality from last week producer Chris if you heard any I'm still waiting for feedback to come in about that
I just want to say this podcast really great this week and
like
The sound it was really on call.
So calling back.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
We didn't do a great job.
I'll play.
Hopefully we did better this time.
Three hours and 10 minutes.
And we took a break in the middle of it
to try to reset things so that we wouldn't suck so bad.
That didn't work.
And that was a marathon session.
It's never do that again.
Okay.
Okay. All right. Well, never do that again. Okay. Okay.
All right.
Well, Jen, from the Jingle Department.
Yes.
I want to thank you for coming out of the show.
Oh, thank you for having me.
And we will get our vacation going again after this.
Sweet.
Reset our vacation.
And is there anything that you wanted to plug
or promote while you're here?
No.
Okay. Is there anything that you wanted to plug or promote while you're here? No, okay
Casey thanks for coming on again. We'll talk to you soon
Yeah, did you put my number on patreon? Oh right. Are you gonna do that? Yes? She has given me the number
Yeah, like a Google voice number. It's not my real phone number. Okay. I was gonna say they don't be stupid But you'll be able to contact
You're going to contact Casey directly
So yes, we definitely we'll get that up there. We'll get that up there soon
We got going on Drew and Mike on Tuesday. Oh, you know what I got. This is pretty cool
I did this on the you'll know about this story, Jen from the Jingle Department. When I was on the creep off, we had to pick creeps,
and the creep that I picked was this guy, Chad Debel,
who was a cult leader.
No, all about it.
And him and his girlfriend murdered his girlfriend's kids
and then buried him in his backyard.
It's a crazy story.
And they were doing a podcast together.
I, somebody actually sent me a link. I have an
episode of the podcast with Chad and the mom. What's her name? I can't think of it right now.
But Lori. Lori Vello. Right. Chad and Lori. I have a podcast with them talking. I think that
they recorded it in November, which was after they had murdered the kids. Oh my god. I'd like to hear
that. Yeah, I know.
So I'm excited.
I think that's what I'm gonna be talking about
with Drew and Mike and maybe some other things too,
but that's gonna be on Tuesday's Drew and Mike,
which we always put out as many bonus episodes
on our Patreon.
If you're a Patreon subscriber, we do appreciate that.
All right.
This is it.
It's over.
Okay?
Goodbye.
Ha ha ha ha.
Goodbye, hey, bye, goodbye.