Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep261 - Office Ladies
Episode Date: May 30, 2021Two women who played characters on a sitcom that started 16 years ago go through each and every episode in order to give listeners amazing behind-the-scenes info like the number of pages that were in ...the script. Pretty neat. Andy joins us this week to break down all the features on the new Buicks. After that we catch up with Patty C Cups' brand new jokes podcast and then Tom Myers' political jokes podcast. Spoiler, there are no jokes. Get half your first deposit bonus with promo code: watp MyBookie - https://bit.ly/MB_WATP Support us and get bonus episodes: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Get tickets to our very first live show near Chicago on August 28th http://watplive.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Sarah, I have cancer and then they'll cut the clip
and you hear one of them just go like,
yeah, woo party!
Epic Showed.
Who? 61.
Are you a boner guy?
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Cuzz a row.
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It's show time.
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Welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts.
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Featuring at least two exclusive bonus episodes every single month. We just put out another bonus bonus for may
Vinnie came over and we talked all about stuttering John's meltdown on his mod
And he also had his attorney on the show talking about me and all the lawsuits they have going on.
So funny.
Oh, I was a great episode.
I had so much fun with that.
I thought I'd get tired of talking about settling John for two hours straight.
And I did not know that at all.
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idea. Also, we encourage our listeners to give us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts
and then shit all over it's in the comments section.
Today, we'll be reviewing a podcast called Office Ladies.
This is a suggestion that came in from Cam.
We have both listened separately.
We have not discussed it with each other beforehand.
Let's get into it.
This is a show hosted by Jennifer Fisher and Angela Kinsey.
Best friends and co-stars.
They never shut up about it.
Of the US version of the sitcom, the office, wildly popular show.
An unbelievably, so.
Yes, I can't believe this is...
I know people who have watched every episode over three times each.
Okay.
People are really into the office.
Sure, and...
The show.
And they're really into this fucking podcast
It's huge this podcast is in the top five of all podcasts every single week. Okay hot take it sucks ass
Why do you think so? It's so fucking boring. I had the really the hardest time getting through this one out of everything
We've ever done yeah
I was stopping and taking breaks and walking away from it
and doing anything else online because I just so bored listening to that.
It's funny you say that, taking breaks was something I found myself doing too.
Yeah, because yeah, it's mind-numbing.
I'm not paying attention.
I gotta take a break, refresh for a second, come back into it.
So do you have a clip or something that maybe sums up the show for you or is a good example?
Well, let's see. I would guess I will just mind as well start from the beginning. They pump.
They're pumping so much money into this. Yes. If this is like podcasting has gone to a bad place
at this point. Oh, really? They have, you know, these celebrities and just they're dumping so much
money into it. And my clipton is an example of that.
All right, so this bonus episode of Office Ladies
is brought to you by the folks at Buick,
makers of the all new and vision,
and they've asked us to share how we make
our Office Ladies podcast each week.
Okay.
So this is the one I listened to.
It was a bonus episode.
It's not, there's nothing to do with it with the show at all.
It has everything to do with how they make the fucking podcast.
So this is funny, because I pulled a clip that's similar to that.
It's our first ever bonus episode.
We're super excited to share it with you.
A lot goes into making our show.
It's very rewarding.
And in our new episode, we break it all down for you.
We tell you how we make office ladies
and what keeps us motivated and moving.
So obviously, it's a show about a show.
And now the bonus is a show about the show
that's about the show.
I don't they do a show where they tell you
how they did the bonus show that explains
how they did the show that's about the show that they did.
It's unbelievable.
I mean, that's, that's, go on forever.
What's the gravy drain?
What's unbelievable is that anybody could give a shit,
like who's listening to that?
Everyone's listening to this.
That's what's so weird about it.
I can't be true.
You look just hot.
I'm upset.
You look upset about it.
I can't be true.
You look just hot.
You look just hot.
You look just hot.
You look just hot.
I can't be true.
You look just hot.
You look just hot.
I'm upset.
You look just hot.
You look just hot. You look just hot. You look just hot. You look just hot. You look just hot. You look just hot. You look just hot. Podcast like this now. Yeah, I actually did. I was over on the Drew and Mike show and we talked about welcome to the OC bitches in Rachel Billson and some other
woman from the OC talking about the OC except
I don't remember anything about the OC.
I was on that side.
Yeah, so this show you wonder is it going to be like
director's cut DVD thing where they're
commentating about the show as we behind the scene stuff.
Are they going to tell you a scene by scene what happened?
You would think so. Well, you could just watch the show or we're behind the scene stuff. I'm thinking to tell you a scene by scene, what happened? You would think so.
Well, you could just watch the show
or you can listen to Angela read the script to you.
So Pam says that line and then Michael says,
if that's appropriate, then that's what I want.
I want something that says, oh wow, okay.
Oh God, thank God.
And then Angela says, a prayer, you want a prayer party?
And then that's when Michael says,
if the devil were to explode, an evil disappeared.
That's what he says in the script.
That's the kind of party I want to throw.
Okay, I bet it would be funnier
if I watched the people deliver it right
in the context of the show.
Definitely be more funny than that. And I like the office. I haven't watched know if I watched the people deliver it right in the context of the show. Definitely be more funny than that.
And I like the office.
I haven't watched every episode or anything.
I like it, but they kind of get away
with this like smirking at the camera thing.
That's a little annoying to me.
Like that's kind of the gist of it,
is that because they know the camera crews there,
they get to like look at the camera and just keep
like this guy.
It's a lot of like shrugging your shoulders
like geez, what an idiot by right people.
And all of the charm of that is completely lost
in podcasts form, where you can't see anybody
that's fucking looking at a camera.
Completely lost.
And what I thought was interesting about this
is that these are two women who were on the show.
They know the actual people who are playing
the characters on the show.
So you'd think they would be able to separate and they wouldn't get attached to these characters
like normal people might who watch the show.
Right.
But then they say this.
I got choked up watching this episode every time she returns his affection or flirts
with him a little bit.
I mean, I was so excited for Michael
that a woman was being kind to him.
I mean, I was emotional.
You were emotional about a character
who was flirting with another character.
You know Steve Carell.
Yeah.
The guy's not a lonely dude.
He could do, he could do, fine, I'm sure.
And she's like, it was so nice to see him
finally connect with someone.
Why? Did you not get a copy of the script?
I'm talking about it in a non-genuine fake way.
Uh, well, they did actually get a copy of the script and actually Angela found hers.
Well, lady, guess who found her shooting draft of Goodby Toby?
You electronic hoarder.
Yes, digital hoarder, Angela Kinsey.
All right, so she found her shooting draft of this.
So what are we gonna do with that information, you wonder?
Can you guess how many pages were in the shooting draft?
Everyone pretend podcasting is boring.
She turns into a quiz.
It's quiz time.
Guess how many pages there were in this shitty draft?
Fascinating.
Who wouldn't want to know the answer to that?
And then she gives her the answer.
Please tell me.
I know you're probably the edge of your seat.
75.
Who gives a shit, who gives a fuck?
Wow, nice.
Fine blowing.
I find it interesting that they're like, wow,
I really got choked up at this
because my Clip 23, they're talking about
the prep they do for this show.
Yeah.
Let's hear a Clip 23.
Okay, so Angela, how do you start your week
when you plan for the podcast?
Well, first of all, I watched the episode
we're breaking down like three or four times.
Same.
Okay.
Four times.
You're watching yourself on TV four times. Same. Okay. Four times. You're watching yourself on TV four times.
Yes.
And then you're gonna choked up the third time you watch it.
It's like this is like Kanye West level narcissism.
It's just like loving everything that you do all the time.
And the person you're doing it with, it's just.
Yeah.
No, I picked up on the same thing because the episode
that I did, which was the end
of season four when Toby leaves, the Toby goodbye party thing.
And yeah, she said she watched it four times in a row.
And then one of the times she watched it while looking at her script that she still has.
And you know what she's fascinated by Andy?
What's that?
Additing.
Okay.
She couldn't believe it.
I rewatched this episode four times,
and one of the times I rewatched it,
I just followed along in the script,
and the scenes were moved all around in editing.
I was fascinated by it.
Wow!
Wow!
They added the show?
An NBC show was edited?
They're really pulling back the curtain,
and I was telling you what this was produced. She was fascinated pulling back the curtain. And how it's television was produced.
She was fascinated by it.
And another thing for this show,
I don't know, you'd need to have the storyline follow a certain continuum.
Because it's a lot of cutaways and just like,
gags and shit, you know what I mean?
Like, why can't believe it?
This was supposed to be after this scene,
but instead it's after that scene.
Yeah.
Can you believe it?
There was a line in the script that,
when I watched the show, it wasn't in there.
I think it wasn't even in there anymore.
It's almost as if it wasn't funny, so they cut it out.
Or maybe it's to get to do a specific length of time.
I...
Is it, is it, is it?
Out of the time, every show?
This is unbelievable.
And there's tens of thousands of listeners
that are fascinated by this.
What?
You guys are fucking idiots. Do you want to know how long it took to write the script to this specific episode of the
office?
All right.
Are you ready?
Fast fact number two.
Yeah.
Jen Solata said that this script took about five days to write.
Five days.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
I couldn't figure out if it was long or short.
Yeah. I honestly didn't know what he's short. Okay. That's what. I couldn't figure out if it was long or short. Yeah, I honestly didn't know what you short. Okay, that's what they thought too
Can you believe they they wrote this in five days like well, there's a
Stap team of people. Yeah, it's not just one person scribbling and even if it was at five days seems like enough to write a fucking sitcom
Yeah, it's one of a sitcom. I don't know. Come on be crazy. Yeah, I I'll wide and throw in some gags and call it a day. Trade parker is doing it every week, right?
Yeah, no shit.
By himself.
What I love in a podcast, Andy,
and I made this very clear, my standards.
I love fake excitement.
I can't believe it, we're at the end of season four.
I can't believe it, Jenna.
I'm excited, though.
This is such a good episode.
Oh, I loved it.
Beyond loved it beyond loved it
So these are two actors
Yeah, so they're obviously acting right like this is the most incredible shit that's ever happened
Because this is how they make their living now is talking about a thing that used to be on it was very successful right
I don't know if they can't get other work or this is just a lot easier. Well, yeah
I think that's part of it because Jennifer Scherr, who used to be the good-looking
office girl, has done many failed sitcoms that are not on anymore.
And then they're like, well, you know, she was cute on TV.
What should we do with her?
Let's put her on a podcast where you can't see her at all.
That's a good idea. And Angela Kinsey is, what she's doing now is,
we've covered that the only thing worth watching on MTV
is the challenge, okay, that's the fact.
Everything else is just a septic tank of diarrhea
that is mostly robbed here to its ridiculousness
and on constantly, which is a horrible show.
Sure.
Angela Kinsey, they've spun ridiculousness, and I'm constantly, which is a horrible show. Sure. Angela Kinsey, they've spun ridiculousness off into this turd called deliciousness.
That's hosted by Tiffany Amber Theison from Save By The Bell.
Oh, I know Tiffany Amber Theison is.
So then, I talked about that quite a bit.
Ah, great.
On the bonus.
So they have like common taters on this, a little show a clip of somebody failing to make
a cake
or falling into a wedding cake or whatever.
Hilarious!
Yeah.
And then the people make fun of it.
And Angela is one of those people.
That is on, she's third banana on a piece of shit MTV show.
Well, it's interesting too because just listening
to these two talk to each other and try to be besties
and have a personality, I like their characters better than I like them
as actual people.
And I find that to be the case a lot with actors.
I don't need to hear a lot from actors' actual view
on things, like just pretend to be somebody else
because that's what you're good at.
And I also don't like actor talk.
So they're talking about these guest roles
that they've done because I guess they've done a lot of guest roles on that 70s show and you know
Everyone's on lawn order whenever so sure so this is Jenna talking about a guest role. She did
I once did a guest spot on a show where my character had to die. It was a medical drama
Oh, and my character got such a high fever that my brain melted and it was a result of doing drugs
I was oh playing a teenager and my mom said it was the only performance of mine
that has ever deeply disturbed her.
She did not enjoy watching my heart flatline.
That's fascinating.
Please go on.
Actors think they're so interesting.
Can anybody get her some real drugs?
Served brain really melts.
My character died.
Oh, man.
Oh, did you I was afraid.
Oh, did you still get paid scale, though, right?
How does that work?
You did die for real, did you?
So fucking stupid, man.
Oh my god, they tell you about this.
How am I playing Make Believe?
And I was a drug addict who died.
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
My mind was upset.
Oh, gosh.
Oh, man.
So sorry to hear that.
She didn't like watching you pretend to die.
I get the sense and I could be wrong.
I've almost never seen a single episode of this
and I know they get guests that come on.
I got the sense that these two are way more excited
about reliving their glory days than the rest of the cast is.
Yeah.
And I'll tell you why I got that sense.
Little hints came in where they're trying to get some
information because they're gonna get a ton of questions coming from fans. And so they're trying to get some information because they're getting a ton of questions coming from fans.
And so they're trying to reach out to the other stars of the show to get answers.
And I could not figure out if he never had one.
I kind of remember him never having one.
Well, we texted BJ and what did BJ say?
He didn't get back to me.
BJ can't be bothered to be like, oh my god, you're still talking about the office?
Who gives a shit? Here's another example of that. I need to know's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit So they're obviously annoying the shit out of everyone who ever worked on that show.
Can you please come on the show?
Hey, can you please, would you be able to like,
answer a question for me?
Oh my god, let me on.
So the episode I listened to was good by Toby Part One.
This guy Paul Lieberstein is not only the writer,
but he also played Toby on the show.
So he was writing himself off the show
because he was going to be a show runner in season five.
Oh, I see. So he needed to concentrate on that.
Okay.
So you'd think that that'd be the the gap for this episode.
Hey, we should get Paul here and he could tell us all about writing the show,
writing his character off the show.
Instead, the guy leaves a voicemail for them.
He sent in an audio clip all about it.
Jen Slotta and I were taken over a showrunner's for season five and that was absolutely part of getting rid of me
So it's like a 60 second clip. He's like I won't come in your show
But I'll tell you a couple things all right play it on your stupid show something all up
I'm feeling that these other people have real jobs in how he would oh you think that
Mindy Kaling and John Krasinski have better things to do and how I do yeah, I do think that
It's just these two that are like,
oh, I got nothing going on.
Let's hang out and talk about it.
I mean, good, good on them.
You know what I mean?
I wish I could have done something so cool
that I could talk about it years from now.
People would give a shit.
I tried it with the music special.
I could not do this.
I can't pull it off.
So good on them.
They're making a very comfortable living
from the show. Oh, yeah I'm sure a lot of spots
is you is dumping so much money into this and asking them the hard-hitting questions about how to make the podcast like clip 12
Jenna and Angela you are both incredible multi-hi-finites
So we imagine a lot goes into keeping everything moving when you told me they call this multi-hi-finites
You know I had to look it up. Yeah
moving. When you told me they called this multi-hyphen, it's you know I had to look it up. Yeah.
Wow, we assume it's tough being awesome. Can you tell us all about it?
Your campaign has the momentum of a runaway franchise.
So the actual question is clip 13. So they want to know, do we have any rituals that kick off our week? And are you more of a Monday motivation person or a Friday
feeling person? What the fuck? What kind of made up answer can you even have on that?
Submitted by Buick. I can't imagine how many fucking how many dollars they paid them to
ask that question. Well, you murder me on Monday person or a fuck this place Friday person.
You know they had an intern, right? That's like, oh fuck, we had a minute question for our sponsorship
read. Yeah, and nothing too controversial. Yeah, let's just have that college kid write something up.
This is for moms driving around, driving their kids to soccer practice to have something on in
the car that's not going to offend an eight year old, right? I don't think so Andy. People are so into the fucking office. A show that's been off
the air for like 20 years. But it's like the most streamed show now. Is it? Yeah, it's
unbelievable. I forget where it went to if it was Netflix or I forget where it streams.
Yeah, it's huge. But during the summertime when it went out and there and during quarantine,
it was like number one or number two of shows that are showing, like people are loving that show to this day.
Yeah.
And that's when you get these fucking door questions
that come in about, I noticed that in episode 24
at the four minutes and 13 second marks,
oh, you mean, there was a guy wearing a tie,
and then the next scene, am I supposed to believe
that he took off his tie?
Oh, you mean my clip 21?
No, you have one of these, I was setting myself up, but I'll pull yours first.
Okay.
Okay, Harris says, I never knew how much I needed this podcast.
It's been so great, especially this past year.
What inspired you to make it?
And thank you.
I mean, Harris, come on.
Context matters.
It's supposed to be, I mean, Harris, come on.
Why are you fucking writing this?
What inspired you money?
I'm not gonna express my opinions.
I'm eating a pie with Tiffany Abertheson. I need money.
Here's another example of the fan questions that they have to get answered.
Lauren mentions that at four minutes, seven seconds in the alliance, you see a man vanish
while walking behind Pam's head.
Yeah, I rewound that like three times because at first I thought it was just like Devon
doing a cross or creed, you know, because they would, our directors would have them do
background crosses so that the office looked like it was still busy and functioning while
there were people in the conference room doing their talking heads.
And so I rewashed it and you're right.
It's like they edited and half
way across. Devon is making
a cross and then he just
disappears. Wow. Yeah.
Good catch Lauren.
Zannell says that at six
minutes 20 seconds, the show
cuts to pam at her desk and
she is wearing a purple
stripe shirt instead of a
pink shirt. She was wearing
in the rest of the episode
in episode two. F. O nine
on each. He plays scratch. He's skeleton like a zylophone. He in the rest of the episode. In episode two, F-09, when each of you play scratchy skeleton like a xylophone,
he strikes the seam rib twice in succession.
Yeah, he produces two clearly different tones.
I mean, what are we to believe that this is some sort of a...
Uh, magic xylophone or something?
Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that, Blonder.
I mean, there are fucking dorks like this to watch the show incessantly.
And they're like, oh, that's a mistake.
I just saw him mistake.
There's another example where I guess there was like a rat in a rat trap at one point.
And then they come back and it's not there anymore.
It's a continuity error, but I also have to wonder if someone told them to get rid of the
rat because at 13 minutes, 17 seconds, you see the rat.
And then at 13 minutes, 27 seconds, there see the rat. And then at 13 minutes, 27 seconds,
there is no rat. There is no rat trap. So I kind of wonder if they got in trouble or something.
Well, maybe it was in the first take.
Fucking cares. I mean, that drop right there, I wanted to put at the end of every single clip
that I pulled because none of this matters to anyone or shouldn't. And then because they're talking about these continuity issues
and the mistakes that they're catching,
they even get into catching mistakes
that they're doing on their podcast.
Okay, and I do want to say he was not the only person
to point this out, but he says at 22 minutes,
25 seconds of our podcast,
you said Michael's book is called How I Manage.
And it is actually called called How I Manage and it is actually called
Somehow I Manage by Michael G. Scott over one million sold more than the Bible not surprised
If you want to call someone out for being wrong do it like our listeners do it
Go on to write it and create a thread that says fuck you Vinnie or an idiot saddening his award. That's how you do it
Where's the episode ever at the 22 minute and 13 second mark of your 17th episode. I want to point out
Oh shit, well, you're so smart for catching that you deserve an award. Yeah. Oh, thank you. Thank you for offering that piece of information
Yeah, people nobody people really like to be corrected Lisa. People nobody. People really like to be correct at least. People love that. We're just going to quote a
better show. Here's some more. Here's some more behind the scenes fun
facts that are coming out. I mean, they must have had so much fun
doing this show. Just a bunch of wacky zany people here.
Pam's wedding program as well has a bunch of like funny misspelled words in it on purpose.
And we never addressed it in the episode, but I like to imagine, you know, as happens with weddings,
you get your program, you're like, oh, what?
They misspelled the brother's name.
They misspelled the names in the wedding program on purpose.
That's so funny.
That's fucked up.
What a great show.
Oh my God.
There's such pranksters, but they're not just pranksters
behind the scenes, Andy.
Right.
Jim is a prankster on the show, the character Jim,
who's like the main guy there.
He's the guy who hooks up with Pam.
Correct.
And they're talking about, well, how good of an employee would he be
if he's spending so much time pranking Dwight all the time?
So for some reason, because they're not realizing this is a show and there's no work getting done at all
And that's nothing to do with getting worked on. It's just a situation where you can make jokes.
So Pam, that knob call her by her fucking fake name, Jenna, explains that, well, I actually used to work in corporate America
explains that well, I actually used to work in corporate America.
And I found that I could get all my work done in like five hours, but I still had to be there for eight hours.
So she all pines that Jim was probably a really good employee,
even though he's spending so much time pranking Dwight.
Yeah.
Here's what I want to say about that because I worked in corporate
America for a long time.
And I often felt like I could get all of my work done in about five hours,
but I was required to sit there for eight. Yeah, I mean, sometimes you can get what needs to be done faster than the company has allotted.
And so I think that was the case with Jim. I think he does very good in sales.
I don't know, I guess Ryan was like, what if you really spent those extra hours making sales?
But I don't know, he's getting it done and he is I mean he's never sold paper never in his life.
It's a fake thing. He was being funny on his show with jokes and eventually they made
him get serious about his job and the character's stopping funny in any way on the show.
Oh okay I didn't get that far.
He's boring parts about the show. I didn't get that far.
Farring parts about the show.
I didn't get that far into it.
They get married and have a kid
and become the worst part of the show.
Boring.
Exactly.
All right, what else you got, Andy?
Let's see.
They have revealing answers and clip 14
about where they were a weekly routines
about making a podcast.
All right.
I have to wake up to a clean sink.
This makes me very happy.
OK.
Oh, God.
This falls under the category of everyone
has to know every detail about me because I have a podcast.
Wow.
We don't.
We don't care.
Just do an entertaining podcast.
And 15 is even more organizational tips
about making a podcast.
And I prioritize it.
I say what really needs to be done from this list
before I start writing and what can wait.
And somehow getting it down on the paper,
it's this way where I've tricked my brain
into knowing that it'll get done,
but I can let it go for now.
And it doesn't have to sit in my brain,
it doesn't have to keep reminding me to do it
because it's on the paper now.
Note to self, I don't want to live.
Wow, these people are boring and a lot of actors are.
Oh, right. A lot of actors are just boring people.
I assume this is only being made because of COVID, right?
There's no, I think came out before COVID.
I didn't, yeah, I didn't, I didn't check to see when it started.
This has been going on a long time though. Yeah. Well, I just thought that any celebrity that wasn't working to start a
podcast. Oh, that is true. That is true. Podcasting is the new standup comedy for lazy people don't want to travel.
Oh, it's like, well, I have a name, people know who I am. I'll just start a podcast and make a living doing that.
People show up and be disappointed. I talked about that with some money. I'm talking about that with Drew Lane a lot.
Yeah.
Because Drew and Mark and Brandon and Trudy over there
all came from radio and now they do a podcast.
So they know how to podcast because they came from radio.
It's like these stand-ups who have to fucking
not get work because Dustin Diamond or someone
is doing a stand-up game.
Yeah, I got bumped because Jeremy Pivins and Towns.
Right. Right!
Fuck off.
So they feel the same way by the way.
Like, what the fuck the office ladies
of the number one podcast?
Yeah.
I will say the production of this is great.
The quality is great.
It's well edited.
I mean, it's bad.
So have an army of people working on it.
For sure.
It's Earwolf.
Yeah.
It's Earwolf, which, you know, we all know Earwolf's a big network
of boring podcasts. Holy shit. They used to have these have one good podcast on there and now I can't even listen to that one anymore
I know
Did you know that Angela who played an accountant on the office? I actually
Used to be an accountant so she was perfect for the role Carl and clip 18
Oh for the the job that she doesn't actually do at all,
and it doesn't fucking matter what her job is, good.
I was also working at an improv sketch theater called IOSD
in Hollywood.
I would work there, Jenna,
so that I would get free classes.
I did that so much about it.
So much, right? You did this work exchange,
and here's what I was doing and this cracks me up.
I was helping the accountant. What? Yes, I was basically like the office manager and I would
balance the spreadsheet. I learned how to do profit and loss statements. I became really
good with QuickBooks accounting software. Jenna, I had no idea I was training to be a fake
accountant all along. That is amazing. Oh, and something I'm sure she didn't know.
Yeah.
Because they're best friends.
I'm sure she did it again pretending like, wait, what?
Plus, I'm sure that Kant was talking about it
on set every day.
Right.
Did you guys know that it was gas?
We do.
We know it used to do it.
It was amazing.
We bad story.
Good for you Angela.
Well, P and L, tell me all about that. That's exciting shit
Very good now you want to talk about just people actors acting like they're interested
We don't have to listen this is like two and a half minutes
But this is the Buick ad proper where they act like they're so ex not one of these people drives a fucking Buick
Let's be right but they're gonna pretend that this new Buick is the best thing since fucking slice bread.
And it's embarrassing.
It's fucking embarrassing.
I honestly don't know anyone who's ever driven a Buick to make that think of.
Well, like we said earlier, this bonus episode is...
In fact, if I remember this right, in a part, I apologize, I'm a marketing person.
But Buick's commercial
I think that they came out about a year ago their new campaign was oh, it's over
It's it's my Buick over that people were like where I don't see it because they thought it was a different car
Yeah, like Buick's marketing was hey, we look just like Toyota's now, you know, hey, do you like Toyota's and how does Buick's just like that
The second car I ever owned was a Buick's. And the gas tank rotted out of it twice.
It was a piece of shit.
Way to shit on my point, Andy.
Way to fuck you.
Couldn't just keep that to yourself.
Any of your best friends,
but we don't talk about our Buick's.
Well, like we said earlier,
this bonus episode is sponsored by Buick.
And Jenna, it's time to talk about the Buick Invision.
We've been driving the Invision Avenir,
which is new for 2021. The Curls Sengie Scoredom says Buick, the best We've been driving the Invision Avenir, which is new for 2021.
A girl's saggy scrotum says, Buick, the best thing since Ask to mouth. I don't know why I thought
that was funny, but I did. It's their top of the line, most premium model, the highest
expression of Buick luxury. And this vehicle is amazing. I love it. I mean, I really love it.
I love it too. I don't want to give it back.
I know. Me too. It works for me as a These women are all Richard Christie. That's also my favorite.
Oh, this episode of the office. That's my favorite. This line that I said,
that's my favorite too. The VLX are my favorite. Boss Lady.
It is totally luxurious. So I felt fancy. I felt pampered. I did too.
Because it drives great. But it's also
a total family vehicle. Like one of the available features is a hands-free power lift gate. So
if your hands are full, and you have the key in your pocket or your per... What a natural
conversation this is. Did I tell you about the V6 engine in a no? Tell me more about that. First,
Did I tell you about the V6 engine in it? No, tell me more about that.
First, you can just swipe your foot under the back bumper
and the trunk opens automatically.
Jenna and I tried this out in real time, you guys.
Together, together, we both did our feet
under the bumper and they opened it.
We were so excited.
That's the world's worst anecdote.
Okay, I'm done with that clip.
Yeah, that's all we really need to hear.
That's fine.
They're just these two former television stars on their knees. You know,
Jenna's pepper milling Buick's cock. Well, Angela, it's fucking sucking the ball. They're just so
excited to pretend that Buick is a good car. You're fucking great. If you're a fan of this show,
which I imagine you might be if you're hearing this. No.
If you're a fan of this show, which I imagine you might be if you're hearing this. Nope.
They talk about there's a scene where someone in the show has a plant in a box.
And for some reason, they really key in on this.
I did not notice the plant in her box.
She has a plant in her box.
She has a plant in her box.
How many times are we gonna say plant in her box? Hashtag plant in her box. She has a plant in her box. How many times are we gonna say plant in her box?
Hashtag plant in her box.
All right, so you'd think these two morons would end that there,
but no, they're gonna make some jokes about this.
Be like, hey, how was last night?
Did you get a plant in your box?
Is that too much?
I want you to know if you go down there,
I have a plant for my class.
Oh my gosh, what are we even talking about right now?
We don't even know what we're talking about.
We just know we're gonna get the E.
Oh my gosh, okay, wait.
Discourable.
I was waiting for them to say that's what she said.
Like for real.
Right.
Didn't I, there Andy?
More plan or box jokes coming up.
He's.
She's gonna have a dead plan to her box later.
Oh dear.
You don't want a dead plan your box everyone.
There he is beating that dead horse.
That's enough planter box jokes.
It wasn't that interesting to begin with.
This whole podcast is at such a loss for jokes
and when they stumble on one, they have to tell it ten times.
Oh, that made me laugh out loud, lady.
So the other thing they do is call each other
a lady because of the office ladies.
Did you pick up on that?
No.
There's a lot of, oh, what did you say, lady?
Did you see this part, lady?
I don't know why I'm gonna get on with it.
But they did use the word lady to watch.
Oh, that made me laugh out loud, lady.
And of course, because they're besties,
Angela has started kiddin kidding around with Jenna.
On this one, giving her a little grief.
I want you to know how significant it is
that Pam got accepted to this school.
Oh, let's hear it.
It is listed as the 10th best art and design school
in the world in 2020.
The 10th, it's number 10.
It's number 10. So it just barely made it in. Oh my God,
Angela Kinsey. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. It's a stupid one. Why do I have to explain it?
It's a stupid one.
Oh boy.
And then they actually do a ton of research.
So they get these questions to come in.
They don't know the answer.
So then they have to go out and find the answer for some reason, because they have to be
the officials and all things, the office.
Yeah.
And they stumble onto some really scary parts of the internet when they're doing their research about stuff. Guys, yes, I don't even want to tell you guys how long it took
me to find this information out. I actually found the Cafe Disco Express. So Cafe Nova
Centro on Reddit. Reddit is an interesting place. Oh my God. So anyway, Sam is shaking
his head. Yeah. Don't go to Reddit. Mom, Don't go to Reddit. Well, I was looking for a coffee maker
Dang it, but here's the thing it is not the same coffee maker. These two are concerned about reddit
That's what they're worried about in the world
All right, I think we're giving them something else to worry about right now. All right. Yeah
Careful, ladies. The internet's a scary place. There's sites like running out there.
Oh, no.
I watched these people typing in their opinions about the stuff.
Oh, can't have that.
Now, Carl, is there anything more obnoxious than two women that are best friends?
You could have stopped right there.
Yeah.
No, there's not.
Two female best friends in the same room together is intolerable.
It's all inside jokes and like giggling whenever somebody that's not the two of
them says anything.
Yeah.
And clip 19 is just best friends hanging out.
Well, lady, we got this question from Shauna M.
How did you to come to be best friends?
Can you point to a particular day or moment when something clicked or was it a gradual
build?
We actually get a lot of questions about our friendship because I think what we, what
we, what we talk about, I talk about our friendship a lot.
I mean, how can you not?
It's like the biggest component to us.
It's true.
So this is the OP radio syndrome, right?
Avoid people with no friends, want to know how to get friends.
A lot of people who enjoy podcasting are lovely people.
This has been pretty well documented.
But yeah, that is a boring fucking question.
I don't give a shit.
They met each other working on a show together.
Right.
And in Clip 22.
They're around the same age.
Yeah, Clip 22.
They're trying to drag each other
to all their other projects that aren't the fucking office. Uh oh. Okay, when are we working together again
because I know we have to have lunch every day and I wanted to do your show haters back off but I
was super pregs and I couldn't travel. I know that. Yes. And then you were like and come be on my show.
We did this back and forth. We're like, guys, hey, we just got a new job.
Can my friend Jenna come by?
Can she be in it?
Is that obnoxious that we would get a job
and we'd be like, do you have a role,
maybe a scene I could do with my best friend?
Is there a little quirky blonde lady
who can cruise through?
Yes, that is obnoxious.
So can my super pranks friend be in it?
The fuck outta here? You're fired
Plus women aren't actually friends with each other
We all know that all right, Andy. I've out of clips from the show I did pick up on one crutch word
Oh, little too much cut. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what else? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Everybody wants to just everything is so agreeable and everything's fun. We're just so much fun
Yeah, we yeah so much fun. Isn't it? I just know how much fun everything else
I just love that everything's so fun. We're just we're just fun people having so much fun. It's fun isn't it? I just know how much fun everything has I just love that everything's so fun
We're just we're just fun people having so much fun all the time. Yeah fucking pisses me off
Stay tuned for your wolf's next podcast the half-man podcast where the fat kid from two and a half men
Tells you all the things that Charlie she did blow off on this set and rewatch I would fucking listen to that show
Is that happening? Is that out of your wolf?
That could quit the show because he was like all Christian. Yeah, you got religion. Yeah
That show would suck. Yeah, I'd rather give my money to a cult than make millions and millions of dollars per episode. Whoa, Andy
I just want to say that I welcome Christ into my life and Andy does not speak for who are these podcasts
Welcome Christ into my life. And 80 does not speak for who are these podcasts.
Can we get that kid and who's the dude
from Growing Pains?
Kirk Cameron?
Kirk Cameron, can we get those two to team up
and tell me about God?
That'd be fun.
I'll listen to it.
And then make a big budget clip
about how you can do it.
You know he listen to it if I made you.
All right.
Well, this is long overdue, office ladies,
a huge podcast that's enjoyed by a lot of fucking people.
Get a life people.
And I mean, it stays strong. It really does.
It's when it first launched, it was high up in the rankings and it is remained there.
Well, it's only, it's kind of shelf life. What happens when they finish watching the series?
Well, it's funny that you say that because you know they don't want this to end.
They'll figure out a way.
So one of the episodes I listened to was called Revisiting Season One.
Where they go back and they talk about all the shit from Season One again.
They're gonna listen to their podcast about it.
Yes.
This is what we got wrong in the podcast.
Yes.
Right.
So they don't just be able to podcast about a podcast about a podcast about a show.
They'll be fine for years to come.
I'm sure. Oh. Anything else for years to come. I'm sure.
Anything else you want to play on this?
Or are you ready to move on?
It's all just more boring shit.
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All right, a couple of things I want to get to
starting with this segment.
Gringe of the week,
Gringe of the week.
And again, our buddy Adam Thoreau, who sends me cringes of the week all the time,
and I appreciate that. He's always finding ridiculous shit. This is a show called Confessional,
and the show has a guest on there, Lily Sparks. Lily Sparks has a crotch word. It's the word um.
And it's interesting. It's not really a word, but okay, okay, fair Okay. And it's interesting. Not really a word, but okay. Okay.
Barred off.
And what's interesting here is they ask her to promote her TikTok or Instagram or something.
She's trying to remember what her handle is.
I've been making little comedy videos on TikTok and some people have been liking them
which has been really cool.
It's, should I say my TikTok name?
Yeah sure. I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I think I forgot my TikTok name.
All right, she could remember, but it is Willie
underscore om underscore sparks.
Oh, she's really embraced him.
Good for her, I guess.
Why not?
Do you have more cringes, Carol?
I got a couple other things that I want to hit.
Let me just hit this real quick
and then we can look at some other stuff.
So, Edley Kumi was on the Joe Rog Rogan program not too long ago. Right. And your
brother, Andy's brother Joe put together a little super cut of this because
they were talking about yours truly. And Joe was concerned that it wasn't
it wasn't all that kind. You know, Anthony said a lot of nice things about me.
But this was not one of those cases. For the most part, they're trying to bring
people down because they're down.
That's almost all of it.
Carl's this terrible person, and he said gigs canceled because of that.
And it is because who are these podcasts will are just angry and they want to know and
they want to do something.
Who's doing that?
Who's doing that?
Yes.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Carl's is a poor lonely.
Yeah.
Sad to press. Sad to press sad to press guy. Who are these podcasts?
They love it.
They love just standing on the sidelines anonymously and fucking with you.
Well, they don't love is their life.
They got me figured out.
All right.
Thanks, Joe.
For putting that together.
What do you got Andy?
Well, you got a cringe.
Yeah, I got two different cringes and they're both from how did this get made?
That's beautiful.
It just spirals.
It's an ear will pull up a center. beautiful. It's just spiraling. This is an earwool full episode.
Yeah, it's just spiraling into the toilet.
But the first one is they hijacked the, how did this get made to promote June's new
podcast, The Deep Dive, which we almost, I suggested we do that this week, but this
is, we'll get to it.
But the cringe is that,
is Paul going to bat for this.
He just has to come on and put the teaser of the show
on the, how did this get made feed
and tell us how great the show is gonna be.
Okay.
And I think we've kind of talked about this
in other episodes.
You're gonna pick up on all these little buzzword things that he's going to use to
say that this is a good show.
And it's all disingenuous.
This is also his wife doesn't pen pack him about not promoting it.
Yeah.
I think I've picked up on that, dude.
This is number eight.
Number nine.
Number nine.
Hello, how did this get made listeners?
I have a treat for you.
I'm gonna bring you something very, very special this week.
June Dianne Rayfield, the co-host of How Did This Get Made,
and one of our favorite How Did This Get Made's favorite guests,
Jessica St. Clair, have a brand new podcast that is out today.
It is called The Deep Dive, and it is fucking fantastic.
All right, Jessica and June, they're just sitting around talking
about the real things in life. I mean, hashtag authentic, they go there. I mean, there
is no conversation topic off limits. It's like listening in on two of your coolest
best friends. But enough from me, I'll let the show speak for itself. Listen and enjoy.
Carl's face was listening. Oh, it's so authentic. Hashtag. These two blowhards.
These two blowhards. Nothing is off limits. Nothing is off limits. Right. Right. Right.
Uh, would you guys talk about how maybe resisting arrest is part of the problem? No,
that's actually off limits. We would never, we would never talk about how maybe resisting arrest is part of the problem? No, that's actually off limits.
We would never talk about nothing's off limits.
That's the guy's off limits.
Within our little woke world that we have.
God.
She's a scryzed.
I could list a fucking mountain of things that would be off limits on that show.
I wish things were off limits.
What else you got for Crenjure?
I see another one.
How does it get made?
Yeah, so I listened to the brand new episode.
I'm still, you know, giving it a chance.
I am because I like Jason, but he started to turn on me too.
Oh, no.
And if you are stupid enough to listen all the way through the Tammy and the T-Rex episode
to the bitter end, like I was driving, so I couldn't change it, and I've got stuck listening to this.
Okay, sure.
I don't even know if you actually are a trucker, I think this is all just a front.
Right.
So anyway, they come to the end and they want to address the audience and, you know,
beg them for help.
Oh, one other thing, one other thing.
I hope everybody's getting their vaccination
shots if they're available. And yeah, um, the drug is made from monkey cam. Just a special
shout out to all the people have been quarantining alone and playing by the rules and hanging
in there and, uh, just encouragement to get those shots and get on the other side of all this.
Keep these monkeys locked in a room all day, you know?
And then they make them check off.
And then they take the common, they boil it or something.
And that's what the drug is made of.
Yes, here's what I'll say.
The sooner, the sooner everybody gets their shots,
and it is safe to be inside theaters doing this
live. The sooner we will be in your town, and you can be in the theater with us. Yes,
yes, that's happening. I cannot wait to get back on the roads. Yes, it only happens if we get there heard immunity vaccinations, please please look there's nothing
They make them jack off
Oh, yeah, they show him this animal pornography, you know really kinky stuff like two dogs making love with the cat or you know
A bat and a pig, you know that's bullshit
Brain candy I I believe.
That's a, yeah.
1996 movie.
But just people that make fun of bad movies,
I'm really gonna tell you what to do.
Well, I actually get Jason's take on this.
He's losing money.
Like that's one of the revenue streams
is packing these theaters.
Those tickets are expensive.
They're not like watplive.com.
Yeah.
Very affordable.
But I get it.
He's like, guys, can you fucking please get vaccinated
so that I can start making money
telling jokes in front of you again?
I mean, I kind of get that.
It makes sense to me.
All right.
Chad Zumak, for some reason,
decided to spill the beans
on who OP was talking about when he said after Anthony was fired,
serious exam offered a comedian a million dollars a year to be the new co-host.
And I suppose the trust shared you. I don't know. I don't know how he knows this information,
but he did, he did throw it out there. And of course Jim Brewer was speculated on by Anthony
Kumiya and then OP came out and said it wasn't Brewer.
So, Zumaq decides he's gonna drop a truth bomb.
Give us some scoops. I want gossip Bob Sagitt. I told you. I gave you, I fucking outed Ope's T's who they offered a million dollars to.
And it was Bob Sagitt, which is hilarious. That you were in here.
That's a truth you heard it from me first. You're welcome. which is hilarious that you were in here.
That's it. You heard it from me first.
You're welcome.
So according to Chad Zumaak, who I guess is talking to Bob
Sagitt in that clip, it was Bob Sagitt who was offered that
morning. I want to know that's true.
Talking to him on a tin can with a string attached to it.
I'll be, yeah, it sounds terrible.
I'll be honest with you.
Somebody clip that and put it in our sub right. So I just be, yeah, it sounds terrible. I'll be honest with you,
somebody clipped that and put it in our subreddit,
so I just grabbed it from there.
So maybe it was messed up somewhere else.
I don't know if that's Chad's actual audio or not.
Right, well, I think.
Speaking of OP, there's another thing I saw in the subreddit
that I thought was hilarious.
So OP was one of the voice actors
for a video game known as GTA Vice City Stories.
Yeah, Open Anthony used to get a lot of video game work
because they had connections from the Open Anthony show.
Opie's acting.
It's exactly what you think it would be.
It's unbelievable.
This is Open Acting.
This is Open Acting out of video game.
Corporal Vance, when you care to explain why this marijuana out of here soldier. You're a disgrace.
Just the other actor was like acting like a normal person. And
OP is just fucking rubbing up the tan on every fucking word that he says.
I was actually surprised I was understated it was. I've heard of get way more
excited than that about. Oh, that made me laugh out loud, lady.
I also want to dress something else. So we did the Sarah Silverman podcast last week.
And a lot of people talking about that, people are concerned about Sarah being so
woke and the opposite of funny, but I did get a note because I took on her comments
about trans women competing in women sports.
And I'll just read this to you.
I wanted to respond to your comments about the whole trans thing.
When Sarah brings up the issue of a signed-amell at birth trans people
playing women's sports and says those who are skeptical of the issue
never bring up a single example,
you would have to bring up an example of two high school students who performed
in female events in some athletic capacity.
The problem I have with your bringing up of this example is that at the end of
the example you state how the end of the example
you state how the people involved in the case had never received any treatment.
After this, you're going to say how you just can't have a nuanced discussion on the topic.
How are we supposed to have a nuanced discussion on this topic when both sides are willfully
disingenuous?
I would say your example is an outlier that exists only to call into question how easy
it is for someone to ruin the sanctity of female sports.
So I guess I didn't realize that I was pulling the one like crazy example of this. So if that's the case,
then I totally understand it. They also, this person who wrote it also didn't care for the fact that
we dismiss transphobia. I know transphobia is a thing. I just think that the way that people,
you like Sarah Silverman use it
kind of takes away from the actual meaning of it.
People who are transphobic.
I think there is a nuanced argument to be had
about a signmail at birth people
competing against women in sports.
That's all.
There's a sliding scale.
And.
But I really appreciate it.
The notebook is very respectful
and the person's a listener
and they'll continue to be a listener.
So I appreciated that and I wanted to address it.
Sure, it's cool that you would reach out to the show
and it's hard to have a discussion
when we're in a bottle here and you're not here
on a microphone.
Kaya, the discord,
stuff apologize if you cuck.
I didn't apologize.
I was just explaining it.
I was just explaining that.
Yeah, that's true.
Fucking Kai is the reason why we had to do that whole thing.
God damn it.
I think it's time for one of our favorite segments of the show.
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me.
I go for the girl.
Because that's absurd.
Chewed gum turned into real chewed and now it's become
dude where's my jokes?
Are either of you familiar with this show?
No.
Patty C.acups,
Trey Peacock, and a guy named Dick knows from Bullshin and Booze,
have teamed up to tell jokes out of podcast.
Wow.
It's incredible.
There was a lot of talk about this at Discord.
This was like a mossless into it.
I'm like skeptical.
I'm like, ah, I don't know.
They were right.
Wow.
There's one episode so far, and a bunch of other like teaser episodes. I don't know if this will continue on. I
really hope it does. Of course it won't. I know. Probably won't. But let's get right into this.
Honestly, we're three. We're the same three guys that you would see at a funeral that don't
actually know the person who died, but we still want attention. So we're gonna be like, hey guys condolences, you know, oh my graph on
cashers. Yes, you wedding cashers were funeral cashers. Where's the finger foods?
Yeah, no shit. That would actually be a great movie and we'll work on that
script later on. But guys, see, Patty had a joke he was gonna go, he said, my
grandfather and then trade just fucking tramples all over it. Yeah, and that's in
that movie. That's not a original joke. You're just referencing a movie.
You don't think Trace, all that witty? Is that what you're saying, Andy?
All right, let's hear the introduction to this show. The intro. By the way, the show is
introduced like any patty see cop show three different times. Let's introduce ourselves and
plug everything we have to before we actually get into this show because I'm
Tray, you could get my Instagram Tray, I'm Peecock. That's it. I do podcasts and
Yeah, those are all with my boy here, Mr. Patty. Oh, that's pretty much all I got going about to get a van conversion and go start doing comedy again.
So that's right, dude.
Look out.
What it is, you bunch of jive as funky as turkeys.
I am the dick nose of the bullshit and booze podcast.
You can find me at ad BS booze pod on any social media platform or you can hit up our website
to find a bunch of other cool shit along with some merges BS boozpie.com
Dude you have a fucking website? Yeah that's awesome
Doesn't take much to it for us mr. Paddy's e-cups
The beads behind that are it's just like bumping back and forth between that hapless sad loser
And actual crickets like you're the crickets
and then into whatever some fucking hip hop shit someone saying that it's the
homo-wown music bad oh is it I don't know yeah no the music stop stops and starts
throughout this show all the time and it's it's just Patrick Michael just pressing
buttons I guess I mean I don't want to pretend I know how this show was created all the time and it's, it's just Patrick Michael, just pressing buttons.
I guess.
I mean, I don't want to pretend I know how this show was created.
And I do not, that's something I would actually want to see behind the scenes of.
Patrick Michael recording a podcast.
Forget the office ladies.
What's the behind the, what's hilarious?
What's hilarious about this too is that Patrick Michael is obviously the one recording
the show. Like he's the guy, right?
He is much quieter than his other two guests.
He needs to turn up his fucking microphone.
He's always the most quiet person.
All right, here's another intro.
Hey, hey everybody, welcome to Dude,
where is my jokes or where is the joke?
Dude, it's, you know, it doesn't matter.
I'm Patty Broken Skull, that's Trapeycock
and always with us is the dick nose or D-nose, you're, it doesn't matter. I'm Patty Broken Skull, that's Trapeycock, and always with us is the Dick Nose,
or D-Nose, we're gonna call on that,
and many other things as we go out through the show,
you know, because it's a comedy podcast.
No, it's not.
This is a self-help podcast.
We're gonna teach you guys how to do comedy.
Welcome to Comedy College,
that's a new name of the podcast.
I'm sorry, I'm talking too fast.
You're so nice.
All right, so basically this is what they do.
They pick a topic.
Now the topic was,
mighty Morphin Power Rangers. They pick a topic. Now the topic was mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
They pick this topic.
Timely.
And then they have to write jokes about it.
So each of them takes turns doing their jokes about this topic and, uh, tray just falls
on his face.
It's so funny.
Here's an example of him failing. She usually just parks in the handicap spot for I don't know why.
And she wears the pinks too.
I don't know about all the rest of them.
But I love both of those people.
And this was the worst plan joke of history.
Scene.
Dude, that was terrible. I have no idea.
I'll tell you what. I couldn't find my notebook, but I wrote for this like a week ago before we didn't do it. I like what you're
going with it. I liked it. No, I'm sorry for the direction that went. I was struggling
and failing. I don't like what I said. No, it was good. I liked it. It was headed somewhere.
It definitely was. It was headed somewhere is the worst compliment for a joke ever.
No, man, what are you talking about?
There was a setup, that was about it, but you know,
you just get a setup.
So there's that.
See, like you were having fun up there.
I mean, someone who's competent could have figured out a punch line.
You know, if they were smart and witty,
they could have figured out a punch line for that setup.
But you can.
Yeah, instead of copying the fucking it up right on the spot.
Dude, you're gonna hear D-nose.
When I play these, I have a lot of clips here.
Every part of the show is coming.
You're gonna hear D-nose constantly try to build these guys up as they're failing.
A lot of times he doesn't know when the punchline hit.
So it'll be a space and then he'll laugh.
Oh, that was a, you know.
But this is D-nose and his he'll laugh. Oh, that was, you know, but this is Dino's and his attempt
at jokes.
Well, I'm hanging out with my kid the other day and he's watching some bullshit YouTube
video about filling a tub with Jellies. I said, no, you don't need to be rotten your brain
with that shit. You need to watch good quality, wholesome television. So I instantly switch over to a show who had 15-16 year olds and I
don't know, paint it on body suits. Which I never saw zipper on those fucking
things. What if like mid shoot, right? They're making the show. Mid shoot, you just
got to drop a douce. How are you gonna get the fuck out of there? I mean dude.
That got real awkward. I think he was waiting for a reaction.
Right?
Alright.
Oh, boy.
What's the, there's no punchline.
Correct.
There's another example.
Can't suit is hard to take off.
Here's another example of no punchline.
They're also shooting this shit at a time.
Well, we had dial up internet, Carmen San Diego, maybe is beacon for handwriting or typing whatever
the fuck you want to call it. And these people just had technology. I don't know what the
fuck I'm going with that shit. I fucking bombed on that one.
Wow. The music bed cutting out.
It's just like ruins the whole momentum.
Oh, that's a truantic.
That's a hending bell.
The music bed is certainly not helping.
I can't get into this.
Alright.
It's really taking me out of it.
So Tray goes and does his set and then Dino's goes and does his set.
Set.
Yup.
I mean that's basically what they're treating this like.
Like they're all doing their little comedy sets here.
And this is Patrick Michael's reaction.
What I mean is I am rock solid right now from those jokes, dear God.
So he's got a chubby from all these jokes he's just heard.
He's very excited.
And now let's get into Patrick Michael's set because it is the longest by far.
He wrote a lot of jokes. When it comes to comedy, again because it is the longest by far hero a lot of jokes when it comes to comedy again
Quantity is what you want just as many just shoot as many darts of the world as possible and eventually a little bulls
I right all right, so
But first things first don't you guys remember?
One of the original mighty more from power Rangers team features was very questionable
Things like a person matching the costume way too well.
Like the black guy, he wore black, the white girl.
She wore pink, and the Asian girl wore yellow, you know, like a lesbian.
Now.
One of those misdirection jokes, Andy. You thought you knew where he was going with that, but then he said lesbian
Doesn't make sense
So it would have been better if it was like a rainbow outfit or something someone the discord said my favorite was the white power
Ranger
No, it didn't make any fucking sense. It's why it didn't land at all.
In this next one, Pady Seacups gets heckled.
And then...
On a podcast, there's two other people.
And then scolds the person.
Now, I'm not saying I wasn't influenced by the power Rangers, but the first time that
I yelled, it's morphphin time before a fight I lost
Get this guy out of here
Paddy does not need you punching up his jokes, sir. It was the only funny thing about that clip
Let's keep going. I'm actually surprised. They didn't cast bad baby as the pink Ranger when they remade the movie. Because truth is, that's the actual attitude of today's young people.
Bitch, I'm not morphing right now.
I just got my nails did.
I'll still help you whoops some ass, though.
Andy, comment.
Um, you had an idea with that, man.
Fuck you.
Alright, well, let's get into the observations about these guys' costumes.
Yeah. Right, you can make some jokes out of that, observations about these guys costumes. Yeah.
Right?
You can make some jokes out of that because they're dressed ridiculously.
Right.
Now I'm a fan of MMA and perhaps the power range has influenced that.
But I think the show and the films wouldn't have lasted that long in reality.
Because is there anything more obvious to bad guys than five people dressed like they're
in a motorcycle gang but only ride Kawasaki? It's just weird to put on a costume to stop a crime.
It's wasted time.
And then as you show up, you're dressed like nobody else ever.
And you're telling me that the bad guy doesn't spot you
and immediately put bullets in the heads of these teenagers? I'm pretty some Chris can take anymore. He's like, all right, that's a good joke.
Well, you gave him more than his co-host came over there.
Let's talk about the Blue Ranger.
Now, the Blue Ranger was the nerdy tech guy.
Why do you need that when you have a talking robot
in the Wizard of Oz?
He was the glasses wearing computer
kid that we've all seen in 90s action films.
But how annoying would it be to still have to put on those spandex?
Or those overalls he loves so much wearing?
It's almost too easy to make fun of this guy, but the truth is he's the only one I'd fuck.
One of Mr. Action's stuff with- with Patty C Cubs.
It's not easy for you to make fun of this guy. I know! I was looking at the same thing! Look at this guy's wearing overalls!
I mean, I could do this all day!
I got somebody jams and watch out!
This one he stumbles on quite a bit.
This one maybe needs to rewrite it, make it easier for him to read.
Now, speaking of gay, how about that alpha 5?
I mean, that thing was made for anything other than a greasy hand drum.
I would be very surprised.
I mean, the voice of that thing makes you assume it would be adorable moaning
as it strokes your average to medium-sized dick.
Now.
He's got a crotch too.
You know that he's ended one joke and we'll start the next one because he goes,
now.
Now, now, I have your attention. Now, let me tell you about this, this hand job.
You know the punchline's followed by or proceeded with the truth is.
Truth is, guys, guys, simply truth is.
He should get Tom Myers to shorten his jokes.
I have Tom Myers clips and I'm gonna play it a little bit.
And the jokes are just as bad.
It's unbelievable that Tom Myers rivals Panic Seacos
when it comes to fucking writing jokes.
It's crazy.
Oh, all right, here's a,
so this is Patrick after he does his set,
realizing that his jokes didn't go over very well.
I'm realizing most people I've shared these jokes with don't know what the Power Rangers
are.
Which seems weird because there's 37 versions in 12 movies.
You're either lying to me, or these are bad jokes.
Yep.
So he picked the topic.
Trey Peacock's like, oh, that show came out before I was born.
Seriously, he said that. These out before I was born. Seriously,
you said that. These guys are a lot younger than Patty Seacops says. And he's like, why
is anyone laughing at these jokes? Come on, overalls. How do you guys don't remember
what that guy wore overalls? Come on. How do you not know about this? All right, he's got
one more joke here. All right, last joke. Teen suicide is a major topic these days, guys.
All right. Good start. Now, imagine having days guys. Alright, good start. Now
imagine having to deal with tests, homework, shitty friends, sexual
frustrations, and then you're also constantly being summoned by a bodyless man
and a cryogenic chamber telling you as robot friend needs you to fight
a werewolf alien. I'd kill myself within minutes, especially if you were chosen.
I mean what a bunch of bullshit. Who's doing the choosing? I feel if there's
any time I should be upset about being picked for a team, it's when I have to dress like
a bitch and pretend to be cool with the Asian kid.
This is going great. Oh my god. Thank you guys so much.
He's only like he just did a stint. I've been petty see cups and you've been amazing. I'm getting the white in the back, but thanks guys, they took coming out.
He actually does add one more joke at the end.
I hope there's Asian hate involved.
All right, let's be honest, if there's any, if there's any Ranger,
we would want to defend the world against alien monsters.
There's only one Walker Texas Ranger you putses. That was a good one. That
one should stay on the show. So what's funny about this is that D knows things this is going
to be edited. So they don't sound so stupid. It's funny. He goes. He goes, all right, that
was not bad. Leave that in the show. Oh, he's gonna leave everything in the show. I hate to break it to you.
There's even a point where he says something to Trey
that is a little bit rude and Patti does
because Trey tries to joke and he goofs on it.
And he says, I'm sorry about that, I'll cut it out.
All right, since we're both just throwing,
you know, nothing jokes out there. I, no, I'm just kidding, Trey, I'll cut it out. All right, since we're both just throwing, you know, nothing jokes out there.
I, no, I'm just getting drained.
I'll cut them.
So.
But he didn't.
But he did not.
He's like, oh, that was insulting.
I'll take that out.
Nope.
He won't.
I really wonder what his editing process is.
Good enough.
Yeah, this is fine.
So after he does his entire set, he decides to self-assess
how good he was. Look at me guess how he thinks he did. What do you think, Andy? He crushed
it. Welcome to the fucking podcast, folks. This is what we do. That's where you drop the
intro. I'm just like, I'll fucking do this shit every time, dude. You can't tell me
some of those jokes, Warren Header's. get the fuck out of here Power Rangers just got hit. Yep. Those are home runs. All right
Some of those jokes were heaters power Rangers just got hit those were home runs is his assessment of what he just did and
I didn't like edit this in a special way
He told these jokes they were unfunny and got no reaction for a good five minutes, Right. And then exclaimed that his shit is hot.
And he pretty much dropped the mic and said,
yep, that's what the show is.
Get ready for more laughs in the future.
What'd you think he was gonna do?
You know what?
That wasn't that good.
Yeah.
So, do you have a lot of ideas for this?
What's interesting is that this part of the show,
you'd think would be the whole show,
because that's what they talked about.
Well, then it goes on for another 20 minutes
of them testing out jokes on each other.
Dinos didn't get the memo.
Dinos, I didn't write any jokes,
but Trey and Patty both have tons of jokes,
but they also kind of spitball
some of the other ideas they have for the show.
We could do, I also have this idea
of doing a comedy song where we do a round
robin, not a round robin, we'll do a round table where I'll just play a beat.
And you guys can sing five words.
You could say the hook, do whatever you want.
We're just going to make the funniest thing we can to any beat that I've made.
Me and Tray have came up with some great ideas for song titles, but we went
nowhere with them like dad sandwiches.
You know what I mean?
Like that's an idea where you could be like,
I could riff on dad sandwiches for a minute in a song,
and then that's gonna be, I am going to puke.
So they never actually do this,
but he goes, I'll drop a beat down.
You guys just start singing hilarious lyrics over it.
I'll give you an example,
dad sandwiches.
I don't know what to say. Honestly, I took all these clips. I don't know what to say.
Honestly, I took all these clips.
I don't have anything to say about them.
I just kind of speak for them, Sal.
I'm just going to keep playing them.
Because they're fucking hilarious.
I think the best decision that they made was not doing that.
I want to hear this.
Yeah, I want to do it a future episode.
It's crazy.
I know.
So, Patty Seacops, now he's dropped all these jokes
and he just talked about about the power rangers
He would love it if another comedian stole those jokes and did them
Talk about how is this a podcast?
I think somebody would probably already have that idea, but I like the idea of us saying
Steel these jokes. I would love to hear anybody tell my power ranger jokes anywhere Mark Norman comedy
So first off, he shits on Trace idea and then he goes what I think we should do here anybody tell my power ranger jokes anywhere Mark Norman comedy.
So first off, he shits on Trays idea.
And then he goes, what I think we should do is have other comedians tell my jokes.
And that comedian should be Mark Norman.
Now the reason why Mark Norman probably won't do that is because Mark Norman writes his own jokes that are funny.
One of my friends is like a beer expert.
You know, he's like, we got to go to a brewery.
I'm like, why can't we just go to a bar?
He's like, it's fun. You can see how it's made.
I don't care how it's made.
Look, I like porn.
I don't need to go to a broken home.
That's a joke.
That's a fun.
I just wanted to remind people of jokes
who are gonna spend a while on this show.
Yeah, we all gave it our best.
That's the goal of it.
It's gonna make you better.
I know my best.
It's our dude. Same. Hey, my best. It's all right, dude.
Same.
Hey, hey, every week it could be somebody else. I could shit on something, but I will write the most.
It's not all gonna be great, but I'll have the most. I swear to God.
All right, typical patty seecups. He's gonna bring the most jokes.
They're gonna suck. He's gonna have the most.
This I thought was interesting. He's asking dick
knows if he's ever been on stage before because as we know, Patty's been on stage
twice and can't shut up about it.
Killed. Yeah. Have you ever been on stage before?
Nope. No, no, no way.
Ever never done anything. Ever.
The, you know, the feeling is great. Even when you don't do well, like I don't have anything ever. The, you know, the feeling is great. Even when you don't do well.
Like I don't think my first show went great
because I followed an acoustic,
well my first open mic, I follow,
I was the only, every time I'm the only person doing comedy,
which is fucking sucks.
Then nobody's doing comedy.
So, every time nobody's doing comedy.
I love that he says, getting up on stage is great,
even if you bomb.
No, that's the worst feeling in the world.
Bombing in front of people, socks.
It's the only point of reference he has
for being on a stage though, is not doing well.
It's great, even if you suck.
No, that's terrifying.
That's why people don't get up on stage.
It's because that's the terrifying part.
He goes, no, it's great.
Even if you bomb, you get to stand there and people have to listen to your
bullshit and you can read your no cards. So then he explains that he didn't do well,
but it wasn't his fault. I had a follow-up guy with the acoustic guitar. I'm gonna fucking tell jokes
after that. All right, so Paddy tells a joke that Trey tries to tag here. The chemistry here is
amazing. These guys have been doing podcasts together for a while now,
and they're really getting some good chemistry going.
My sister just got married this weekend,
and then we went to Monterey.
I apologize.
Trey tells a joke that Paddy tags.
My sister just got married this weekend,
and then we went to Monterey,
and we got pizza my heart there,
and all night last night
Fucking there was stomach acid in my throat and everything and I'm like damn I had to take like 27 times damn. I'm going damn. This is not pizza my heart
This is pizza my heartburn guys. This shit sucks
Got him and here's where I'll add to that could you cure heartburn with a brain freeze?
It's a question for me. No I'll add to that, could you cure heartburn with a brain freeze?
It's a question for the nurses. No!
Turns out no.
The answer to that question is, no.
Okay.
You fucked up my joke, you ass, though.
Well, Trey is really bad at telling jokes.
Like really, really bad.
At least that one had a punchline, though. Yeah,, but then he stump as soon as he said the punchline
Yeah, you know what I mean? It sucks man. No, you got to end it on the punchline
Yeah, don't know why that's so difficult for these fucking people
All right, let's keep going with more jokes. I also found out that we are like
The three guys that brought cocaine to a party with a magician
What's a magician?
What?
Great chemistry. Yeah, it actually was funny by accident.
We're like three guys that bring cocaine to a party of the magician.
What's a magician?
That's code for a magician.
What I mean by that is someone who performs magic.
He don't.
He fucking more on the real, the real question of that. What do you mean by that is someone who performs magic. He don't. He fucking more on the real, the real question should have been.
What do you mean by that?
Yes.
That's all we, everything Patrick Michael says.
I wish somebody was in the room and just go, what do you mean by that?
Oh, I wish you would do Dick Masterson show.
It'd be so fucking great.
Right.
All right.
Tray has got a great bit on Bigfoot.
If you don't like it, you can tell me shut up.
But I'm gonna make a giant fake foot.
So when I go camping, I can leave fake big foot checks
to fuck with crazy old white dudes.
Like, but for real though, whenever you see a Bigfoot footprint,
it's always just like one.
There's never a trail of big
footprints. How come nobody ever talks about that? I got to make a trail. That's that, I guess.
Boom. Starting off slow. How about you, Patty? I'm with Andy. Shut up. Well, he felt bad about
his power rangers jokes,
so then he's like, I started slow, but look at me now.
Like, if you wanna talk about Big Fod,
I'll fucking slay my shite.
Get this room.
Yeah, right, exactly.
You can't have a punchline that's a dud
and then go right into bragging about how great it was.
You can't?
Cause he's gonna do it all the fucking time, Andy.
Patti, Patti Seekas is a jerk off joke here.
But did you ever notice how much stronger your non-dominant arm is when you're jerking off
angrily in a mirror at 3.30 in the morning?
Yeah, I have.
That's what you don't want to do in the ass.
So when I grab my dick, it's like, Jesus Christ.
Eweee.
I'm just taking a blow. Alright, listen to, it's like Jesus Christ. Ewee. I'm just taking that one. Okay.
All right, listen to the delayed laughter on this one.
This is just, I've been teasing this the whole time
and this is just so fucking funny.
So there's gonna be a space.
Just let it, let it breathe.
All right, check this one out.
If a Muslim gets put on trial for a crime,
do they make him swear to tell the truth
on the Christian Bible?
Did they make him swear to tell the truth on the Christian Bible?
And again, that's because he goes, all right, where you go with that. That's a setup because he make him swear on a Christian Bible.
Because if that's the case, punchline.
And suddenly just stops talking.
He goes, ah, he is.
Pretty good observation there, buddy.
Well done.
Pady Seacops is the king of short jokes
Let me just do another short one try
Don't worry guys. I don't I don't expect many laughs. I wrote all these jokes while tripping on robotesson
You get it short ones aren't you?
That's how my mind works dude. It's just like you get it with short
I just move on to the the next short Pete though short
These are mental patients
This is this podcast is brilliant because it's like being in a mental asylum
Whistening to the patients talk to each other. Yeah, these guys are like homeless people
Yeah, they're in like white pajamas playing checkers. Yes, having this conversation. Yes. Yeah. There's straight jackets trying to entertain each other.
You want to hear about your robot's taking over the world.
Ha.
And this is the most insane thing.
Don't try peacock.
It's probably a slow person.
He's very young.
But I cannot believe he's structured this and thought this was a joke.
But check this one out.
People are afraid of robots taking over, you know,
but it's kind of already been starting to happen.
Think of tree chimers.
Those things replace giraffes.
But it even goes back further than that
because giraffes replace long neck dinosaurs.
I love this. I love this show.
You guys gotta keep pumping these out, please.
That's a joke.
That was the joke.
Giraffe's trim trees before tree trimming robots.
Yes.
And dinosaurs before that.
Yeah, so why are you worried about robots
taking over the world, Andy?
I know, this is...
It gets fucking crazy.
I didn't know what not to clap, I apologize, I have too many, but...
Comedy is hard, it's all I'm going to say.
Comedy is difficult.
That's not really a joke, is it?
I don't... It's setting really a joke, is it?
I don't, it's setting up. Well, I think you just need a little more.
It's going somewhere.
Yeah.
Oh, there's a lot of like,
oh, that could be a joke if it were funny.
Yeah, it could be a joke if they're punchlines.
Yeah, like if you came with something witty
at the end of it, you know, that would be interesting.
Then yeah, that would be a joke.
I wrote a song, I don't have any notes or lyrics yet,
but, you know, it's getting there.
All right, so this next panning seat cups joke,
I swear to God, this is a joke of five year old
with comp with, and I'm not exaggerating at all.
This is unbelievable.
They say drugs are bad,
but I think spiders and butterflies serve a real purpose.
Did I say drugs? I'm at bugs.
Oh my fucking god. Oh my god.
Cause they rhyme, get it? Yeah, we get it.
That's not fucking funny.
Okay, this next clip is amazing.
Tray Peacock is setting up a joke.
And Patty Seacups decides he's going to give
him some advice on how to deliver his joke because he has so much experience, you know,
telling jokes in a room full of people. Patty Seacups does. So this is unbelievable.
You know, it's not really cool to be able to ride a unicycle, but for some reason, it is
pretty.
You can ride a wheelie on a bike.
I just want to stop here right there because that sentence deserves a much longer fucking
pause.
If you just pause after the sentence, you're killing the room.
Say the sentence again and then stop.
All right, you know, it's not really that cool to be able to ride a unicycle.
That's perfect. That in itself is some reason.
Wow. Wow.
It's in the kingdom of no jokes.
The man with two terrible jokes is Kate.
Yes, correct.
He's like, whoa, have you ever bond on stage
and on Kiltoni?
No, no, I haven't.
Well, I guess that I'm better than you.
Yes.
Because I've bond.
It's unbelievable what Patrick Michael
thinks would pass his comedy.
And the guy loves comedy.
Yeah.
He follows comedians all over it.
And the fact, I mean, he's just, here's a gym joke that gets a great response.
I don't go to the gym to lift weights, but I do go to a waiting room to see gym.
Isn't gym just a waiting room with toys for adults and a locker room for old men to
show their dicks?
Oh, that, that. A little locker room joke.
I mean, everyone's gonna get exhausted by this point.
But what else you got?
Everyone's exhausted.
And now we're nearing the end.
And Dic knows feels really bad.
He didn't prepare as much as Trey and Patty did.
God, man, I'm a piece of shit
I'm definitely the fucking weakest link today boys. I just fucking swear to God. No, but you can't do it those power Rangers shit
I'm telling you what
This is so weird
Dick knows do not apologize. No, you have nothing to be sorry for my friend
apologizing for tricking you out of this show. Okay, do you guys want to hear the worst joke ever constructed in the history of joke construction?
This is Trey Peacock, who I'm starting to feel bad,
because we're definitely making fun of retarded people.
At this point, you know what I mean?
This is a retarded, this joke is so fucking stupid.
I gotta memorize it and start telling it to parties.
I'm already left. I know
this joke is fucking bonkers. This is insane. What about- oh I got one. What about-
All right, if you don't have an oven but you still really really want some desert,
there's still an option for you. You could get yourself a bowl of keys and put some frosting on those
bitches and then you know how you cook shrimp with some lemons or
limes taking advantage of the acidsed keys. Boom. Key lime pie.
Refride beans and lima beans. I forgot that tag.
What does that mean?
You didn't forget it. It just didn't make any sense.
Key the key lie by joke. That's fucking fire right there.
Can we get a JP guy booked with the Carlson?
I thought you were gonna say a deeper.
I would go to that show too.
That's what the Rikkel's room was made for.
He also has suction jokes.
And I just need you guys to tell me,
like, why he thought this was a joke?
Oh, guess what else?
If you want a little bit of suction,
a good invention for you is a suction cup.
And if you need a little bit more suction,
another good invention for you is a vacuum.
All right, Jens, let's get out of here.
This guy obviously loves Mitch Hedberg, but I wish instead of trying to write his jokes,
he would OD.
You want to bring a joke? If you want to pay tribute, if you want to follow your hero,
because that was such a delivery like Machetburg
It just lacked the wit right in charm. Yeah, and humor humor and drugs and then at the end of this abortion of a podcast that I would it
This would be like a consequence on the wheel of consequences for me to upload something this bad for people to hear
They're doing it on purpose. The jokes on stage. Is that going to be on the wheel?
Oh, you shut the fuck up. You shut the fucking hole right there.
You ask, at the end of this abortion of a show,
Patty is the balls to say this.
You guys take it easy. Thank you so much for being here.
This was a good show.
I've been it took a second, but we got in there.
No laughs. What do you mean?
I'm not.
They just have no idea how bad they are.
I think goodness for that.
Andy, what are they about time, Myers?
Yeah.
You know, it's no different than, you know,
police officer running to the scene of a crime
or a firefighter running into a burning building.
It's what I do.
Now, I'm a little bit concerned that perhaps we're going to be playing too many terrible jokes
at a row.
And this might drag our show down a little bit.
Because these jokes are on par with what we just heard.
This is Tom Myers versus the rest of the world starting off with a Marjorie Taylor green
joke.
Marjorie Taylor green looks like she's reading a subreddit dedicated to her.
And every post is a photo of a com shot on a congressional portrait.
Admittedly, I should probably stop posting that image.
She looks like, hold on.
Let's break this down.
Marjorie Taylor green looks like she's reading a subreddit dedicated to her.
She looks like she's reading a subreddit dedicated to her. She looks like she's reading a subreddit dedicated to her.
She looks like she's reading a subreddit dedicated to her.
She's got a sour look on her face.
And every post is a photo of a com shot
on a congressional portrait.
And every post is a photo of a com shot on her portrait.
So, okay.
She looks like she's looking at a photo of her.
She's not into it
Not into it right and then he tags that admittedly. I should probably stop posting that image
So he's the one jerking off on a photo of this woman he hates and posting on the internet
He's doing a Perez Hilton thing. It's interesting because
Really people have subreddit dedicated to them or more people like Tom Myers. Tom Myers has subreddits dedicated to him.
I think that's why he wrote that joke.
Not everybody has a subreddit dedicated to that.
A lot of people can't relate to that.
A lot of people want to be able to relate to that.
Why is no one jerking off on me?
All right.
This South Dakota joke is a singer. Christy Nome says South Dakota had the highest tourism rate of anywhere else in the
country. That's dangerous. Not because of COVID, but because of enough people gather
in the state, it could collapse and descend into the pits of hell. It will be described
as an improvement for South Dakota. So the setup makes the punchline incorrect. He goes, it's dangerous for people to travel to South Dakota because if there's a lot
of people there, then it will fall down into hell, which would be better than what it
is now.
Yeah.
It doesn't make any fucking sense.
Why is that dangerous then?
Right.
If you're saying it's a good thing.
Classic Myers, uh, can.
Kristie Knombs is.
What's happened?
Oh my god.
Touch it.
Everything. Oh, it's happened? Oh my God. I'm touching everything. Oh, oh,
oh,
oh,
it's cats walking on the keyboard.
Oh,
oh,
oh,
oh,
oh,
oh,
oh,
oh,
oh,
oh,
oh,
oh, oh,
oh, oh,
oh,
oh, oh,
oh,
oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Just tagging your own joke immediately after- Because the punchline isn't good.
Because it's not good, that's why you do that.
It's like, I've done that before writing announcer jokes
for the isotopes, but I'm like, that's not very good.
It's all, I'll write three fucking punchlines,
and none of them are good.
It doesn't make it a funny joke.
It never works.
I've learned my lesson.
Time is not.
No.
You guys ready for a great Bill Gates joke?
Yep.
You know that Bill and Melinda are getting divorced?
Sure, they're about to- You're about to be in mind there. Oh, for sure, let's see what he has. You guys ready for a great Bill Gates joke? Yep. You know that Bill and Melinda are getting divorced. Sure.
They're about to be mine there.
Oh, for sure.
Let's see what he has.
Bill and Melinda Gates announced they're getting divorced.
If dealing with Bill as his frustrating
is dealing with not being able to use my computer
during system updates, the night sympathize with Melinda as well.
So because he used to be the CEO of Microsoft, they make windows.
Right.
Windows is the operating system on the computer, and then it has to update from time to time.
Right.
And while computers updating, you can't use it.
So he's saying that like, well, I was going to check this out.
Being married to Bill Gates could be as frustrating as when your computer has to update.
Because he was the CEO of Microsoft that made windows.
That's the operating system.
Stop.
Yeah.
Well, now that you're explaining, I think it's funny.
Pretty good joke.
Pretty good joke.
Here's another one.
And just only the mind of Todd Myers, we come up with this, because when I hear this headline
that sets up the joke, I think, well, how do you mind comedy from this?
And Ohio State Senator was caught participating on a Zoom call while he was driving.
Hey, Jim, how did you get a video of a trucker giving you the middle finger as your background?
And now all with the show.
Ponders, fucking ponders.
Pondries fucking pondries
I love that our buddy Jeff Heisen really enjoyed that joke. He did a voice so it's funny
So on this episode we have Jeff Heisen, Abby Mello, Linda Landeros and K-Cheng comes on. Great. Now
Linda Landeros is so fucking obnoxious. She sucks out loud.
This is her talking about getting kicked off of Tinder.
Right.
We have all the same clips of her doing.
Oh, do we?
Yeah, it's fine.
It's great because this woman is insufferable.
Yeah.
Thank you for having me.
I got kicked off Tinder.
Oh, did you really?
Yeah, I got.
But I think because I figured,
people just wanna use that app for hooking up,
which is not what I want.
I just want more social media followers.
So I just said, can you please follow me on TikTok?
And I think, because you're not supposed
to advertise anything on Tinder.
So it might be my own fault.
But see, what I don't understand is like,
don't you want my profile on the app so that your users
will have more profiles to scroll through so that they'll spend more time on your app
so that you can make more advertising dollars.
Like none of it makes sense, even from a business standpoint.
Yeah, I mean.
I just think they're sexist.
If they didn't have...
In racist.
I'll say it.
All right, so she broke the terms of this app
because you're not allowed to advertise
your other social media on there.
Yeah.
So she gets kicked out for breaking the terms
and says, well, they're obviously racists.
Yeah.
Well, are you a hideous pig trying to draw people off the app?
I mean, maybe if you were hot, they wouldn't kick you off.
Well, she's also stupid because she doesn't realize
if she has no intention of hooking up with guys,
then she's not helping them in any single way.
People want to go on there and hook up with people.
It's like if Google said,
let's give links to every website and every searcher's
all, cause it's just more links.
What's wrong with that?
It's more links.
It's not relevant.
It's not what they're looking for, but what?
They want links.
Here's a bunch of links.
Yeah.
You fucking moron.
I'm on there saying, I follow me on Chick-Dak.
I'm not gonna fuck you though. I'm on an app that follow me on tic-tac I'm not gonna fuck you though on a on a app that's about fucking right and then they kicked her off and it's sexist and racist
This woman thinks everything is racist and I went to her tic-tac
Because I wanted to see what's so great about this. Yeah, here's the first video I found on her tic-tac
Andy this woman is a treat.
She's going to be a lot of fun to hang out with.
So here's the thing that I'm realizing.
Because being on this app, I'm really tired of men complaining about women being shallow
that we don't go for short guys.
I want to clarify something right now.
Okay.
I have dated short guys. I want to clarify something right now, okay? I have dated short guys
before. I have been romantically involved and I have hooked up with short guys
before. And you know what? Anytime I'm with a man who's shorted in me, you know
who's the only person to say something about it? Come here. Men.
Like this height thing, this is all a you thing that you guys are perpetuating.
Because you know one of the reasons why women go for men who are tall?
It's because other men are intimidated by men who are bigger than them, so if we're
with tall men, men will leave us alone!
I thought this is a duck!
I thought there is a joke.
I thought he was supposed to be short.
I thought he was like dancing and singing and shit.
This moment is out there.
Scream out, men are fucking terrible.
Wow.
Why won't anyone date me?
I'm fine.
So that's how she's introduced to the show.
That was the first thing she said.
I just got kicked off a tinder because I broke the thing and their race has.
10 Myers bombed for a minute.
And she comes on with that.
What can Abby maybe save the day?
Yep, Abby's the next one introduced.
Abby, what's new with you?
I'm gonna talk about it.
There is my miss last week's show
because my dog was dying and she is now dead.
But so actually just before this, I got in the mail.
They sent me a paw print of her creamation.
But anyway,
I'm calling to Sarah Silverman.
What a terrible,
parallel a laughs over here with Abby.
So that brings everybody down.
Like there's a noticeable mood shift.
Right. After that. And Tom tries to lighten things up
By telling a dog joke
I mean I think I mean I have a cat, but you know, I've often thought okay
Maybe my life would be a little better if I've if I got a dog
You know base if not just for the companionship, then for having something
that not only is able to lick my toilet clean, also bites anyone who comes to the house
with religious information, religious pamphlets. Jeff, how about yourself?
Great transition there, buddy. This guy really knows how to run a show. Yeah. Which I really
appreciate in a podcast toast, someone who keeps things moving, gets
the get's on.
This is him chance for him to talk about putting peanut butter on his balls and he blew
it.
That's you.
So now he's got Kate Chen coming on the show.
And it's a hilarious COVID joke into the introduction.
Okay.
Because this is how you want to get brought on to a show.
Yeah. So I'm to speculate we may not achieve the number of adults being fully vaccinated in order to
achieve herd immunity from COVID-19. In fact, that couple with the jobs numbers being well below
what was projected, it is clear that the effects of the pandemic are still severe for some Americans.
For them, times are getting so bad that they are taking jobs where they have
to learn how to operate and excavate her just so they can dig mass graves for their families.
Joining us tonight to discuss the various current events, please welcome Kay Chang.
What the fuck?
Yes.
Yes, so now these people are taking jobs where they're digging mass graves for their family
and welcome to the show ending. What's happening, buddy? What is going on?
Hey, let's get wacky and wild with comedian.
Kei-ching, holy shit, that's the worst way
to bring someone out to your show.
Well, the terrible joke.
And then Kei-ching comes on with just as much energy
as that joke.
Yes.
He has to address the kill Tony thing.
And it's
Whatever the opposite of humor correct you do at my clip three of this clip three. Yeah
Yeah, thank you so much for coming on. It's a absolute pleasure
Yeah, I'm happy to be here anything in the news
Strecking you the big one of the comedy community is the Tony Hange clip thing which
I feel like because I'm Asian and I run a show called Crazy Formations, I always have to come up with some sort of commentary
or write a bit about stuff that happens whenever somebody is racist to an Asian. But it happens every
week and I'm like completely out of bits. I like creatively tapped out. So I don't know if anybody else has
commentary, I'll totally accept it. And still, it is my own, because I don't have any.
I just that's so shitty, though, like the fact that it's like other people's racism that
is holding us back to and like, I mean, no offense like anything that's happening here,
but like, you, I mean, you shouldn't have to feel expected to talk about trauma that's happening to your community and like you know like I don't want to be
Asked about kids and cages like that's
Horrible should be expected to talk about the kill Tony stuff
Wait unless you're the fucking one that brought it up. It's nothing to do with you. Don't break it up
Right, I don't I don't have anything to say about it, but I gotta talk about it.
Tom Myers goes, what's in the news that you'd love to talk about?
It's like, well, obviously you aren't going to talk about this thing, but I don't want
to talk about it.
It's like, no, you could have brought up anything.
Anything.
Could have brought up anything.
Well, you should have been expected to talk about that.
No one expected you to.
You brought it up.
You brought it up.
Fucking idiots.
Fucking kill me.
Oh, boy. So my body Fucking kill me. Oh boy.
So my body, Jeff Heisen.
Yeah.
Oh, he is a tree.
He's Vic Henley level.
He is worse than Vic Henley level.
Yeah.
Because he's also one of these guys who finds racism everywhere
he turns.
Yeah.
He's one of these guys who just thinks
that everyone is a terrible person except for him
for some reason, which I just think is a weird way to live.
And then people just refer to the right as an entity and he does that all the time.
This is a purge example of him talking about his Peloton class that he was in recently.
And so you already heard this.
I'm going to ask Chris, producer Chris, listen to this and tell me if you know
what he's talking about.
I was on a Peloton ride and the instructor was, who was Jewish, was reading hashtags of
people with milestones. And as she's quickly reading them, She probably wasn't giving them a second thought. One of them began with
with 88. Oh, and she just like 88 something. 88 ride for wine, something like that. And she didn't
notice it. All right. So he thinks that she should have noticed 88 ride for wine. What do you
think that means? I have no. I'll say what I thought that it meant before they got to
it. Yeah. A lot of people will use their birth years. Yeah. There's like a tag on their
handle. For sure. I was born in 88 and yeah. Yeah. I don't know what the no no is here. Yeah,
right. So I would assume the same thing a lot of times
You can't get right for wine. So I'm already has it. So now you're 88 right for wine because that's the date
So we're not the only ones who don't understand this I noticed it
Wait, I don't get it. What is 88 green?
It's a way of saying, uh, Hi, Hitler.
Oh,
H is the eighth letter of the alphabet.
And so if you put the two eighths together,
you get H H,
which stands for Hi,
Hitler.
Was that was that something?
Is that like a long standing thing?
That's.
Okay.
I've never heard of it. What the fuck are they talking about? I think anything someone uses the number eight. like a long standing thing? That's... Okay.
I've never heard of it. What the fuck are they talking about?
They think anything someone uses the number 88?
Did it's Hale Hitler?
No, my only German friend has not heard of this.
It's like...
Oh, it's Kaya still there? Do you know about this Kaya?
It's not saying I don't use it.
Kaya knows all about it.
What the fuck is he talking about?
That's the problem with these people.
They're offended by everything.
They're offended by the number 88.
Imagine living your life like that.
Right, yeah.
I would assume-
Always looking for dog whistles.
I would assume that the person on the Peloton bike
who's riding in a class with a Jewish instructor
is not a Nazi.
Yeah. Right. Would you just assume that I got to get it shape for the race war?
Jesus Christ. Okay. All right. I guess I should have known that.
Kyah says it's a thing. You would know. He would know.
All right. And Tom Myers always ends the show with a final thought. Let's hit that. Let's hear his hilarious last joke. But before we go, my final thought, Senator Republican
leader Mitch McConnell won his reelection campaign this past November. Once he finishes
his current term in the Senate, he'll be 84, which is the same year he was first elected
to his Senate seat, not 1984, the actual year 84. Boom, high-tech.
Got it, because he's old.
I can get it.
So forget about the part that America didn't exist
and that we're at 200 years old and that is stupid.
Because he's so old, he got into the Senate in the year 84.
Right.
Which by the way, if you double the four, that's a very racist thing. Oh,
holy shit. Do you have any other clips from this show? Any one to play? Sure. I get a couple.
They have a clip from the Romney and a rally and everybody's really upset with Romney for not,
you know, sucking Trump's cock. Right. So, clip four is a clip from that.
Here at the Utah Republican Party, state convention senator Mitt Romney was loudly
booed by delegates.
He's faced anger and backlash over his votes to impeach president Trump.
Let's go ahead and play back what happened. That pretty much sums up every single gig I've ever done at a sports bar during a game
to be honest.
You could have stopped it every gig now.
Why are you playing gig and sports bars during a game?
Yeah, because I like to be food.
Who's your manager?
Kind of gig is that.
So that's soft.
Quick, let's toss the Abbey to save the day.
All right.
I think being that they were in the Mavericks center,
that he should have just asked himself what a couple of Mavericks would do.
And just really channel is inner Sarah Palin.
That's all I've got nothing to do.
No.
I don't know where it was going to happen, but does anybody else have something funny that
they want to say?
So because the Mavericks play in that arena and she was remembering some of the Sarah Palin said uh-huh, uh-huh
But that she couldn't remember from over 10 years ago. Yes
And then she said is that a joke and everyone went nope
Then they have a guy talking about who is involved in the insurrection that found Jesus and the
insurrection Andy. Do you think that J. D.
Ray says was insurrection they're trying to take over the country according to
the
podcast that I'm listening to.
Fair enough.
The Bible does say to follow the government whether you believe them or not. And that's the stance that I hold. And I regret my actions that day,
and I take full responsibility for them. Not to question anybody's religious or spiritual beliefs,
but something tells me he got the idea to bring God into this when he was with his fellow insurrectionists,
and when they made it inside the Capitol building,
he heard them say,
Jesus Christ, we're inside.
What do we do now?
What the fuck?
He wrote that down.
He thought of that, wrote that down and decided
I'm gonna use that joke on my podcast.
Right.
Holy shit.
And then the last clip I have from this show is just, uh,
K-Chang does a bit about the whole bamboo paper theory
and then they start talking about farming out t-shirts, the China,
the t-shirts made in China, and just listen to Tom's laugh at the end.
He sounds like a fucking maniac.
He is.
Yeah.
Or like dudes who were trying to sell him a t-shirt, like I rated the capital.
No, I got was this lousy five-counton-diedman.
And they made it out of bamboo, fuck!
Ah!
The t-shirt's made it China.
Yeah, times got that really weird maniacal laugh.
That comes out, that comes out disturbing times. Like when we did his stand up for a bonus show, he does that laugh
after jokes that bomb when no one else is laughing.
Oh, nervous laughter.
It's like a nervous laughter thing.
Oh, he might be crazy.
He might be crazy.
Throw it out there.
I mean, that could have been if they just stopped it.
I rated the capital.
I got was a five count indictment.
That was that was almost funny.
I but, you know, it deteriorates into insanity.
I saw you were going with that.
I think that could have been funny.
You know, I think you were under way to something that wouldn't
Have I had a funny?
Okay, dick nose.
Yeah.
Have a treat, Peacock. Punch that up for you.
And anything else that you brought that you want to hit on here? Beautiful. What have we done today?
Oh God.
We talked about the office ladies. We talked about my bookie live sports betting, which is a lot of fun.
We talked about confessional with Lily Sparks.
Andy's brother Joe checked out Anthony Kumia on Joe Rogan.
Chad Zumox as Bob Sagitt was offered a job with Opie that he turned down.
Opie's an amazing character actor on video games.
Patrick Michael is teaming up with Trey Peacock and Dick knows to tell jokes Tom
Myers cannot tell a joke to save his fucking life so you know what that means it's time for
everybody's favorite part of the show.
All right Andy I held this in when you were talking about it earlier because I wanted to
say it for the teaser.
We're about to do what women have done for centuries.
We're crowding around the fire with our generous haunches.
We got babies hanging off our tits and we're going to share with you our fears.
That's right, our joys, our tips on how to stay alive. Now, just we are heating a call
that no one has made. Not a soul, but you're invited to listen. Absolutely, because we make
one promise and one promise only. We will not Google a thing. Because frankly, we're
too damn tired. Please get ready to go on the deep dive. That's right. Next week, we're
going to be talking about the deep dive.
Jessica St. Clair and June Dayan Ray feel we're going to have.
I almost hesitate to say we're going to have because you know, Kevin dropped out
this week, but we miss him.
So Brandon from Shitty Starting the Week is going to be on Kroge is going to be on.
We'll have plenty to talk about next week.
Looking forward to that.
And you thank you so much for coming over this week. Anything you want to pull out your promote my front. We got to promote the next week. Looking forward to that. And you thank you so much for coming over this week.
Anything you want to pull out your promote my front.
Oh, we got to promote the Chicago show.
W-A-T-P-Live.com.
August 28th.
That's right.
Get your tickets.
Be on the lookout for the new Earwolf podcast
where Kimmy Ghibler and Steve Erkle test drive
a Suzuki Samurai.
Tell you how great it is.
So please, join us again next week. It might be the episode
where we find out what's it for all. Who are these podcasts? Sleep well every pony.
Party in the must-vis of Morning Radio.
And now to show these cold, my cow.
Big Mark buddy. Okay. Great show. Good job everybody.
Great job everyone. That's cool.
Good job, everybody. Great job, everyone.
That's cool, bro.
Park your own.
What is this garbage?
How do they have a podcast?
This is bullshit.
This doesn't make any sense, Rick. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Oh, you dropped!
I changed the ways.
Bullshit!
You know, who are these? Podcasts. I don't know. I don't get it.
Makes no sense.
Subreddit news.
Dead Sipowitz writes, I've been listening for years and I think bloviating celebrities
with podcasts are my favorite skewerings.
I wish they just stuck to that every week.
They never fail. It adds a whole other garnish of vitriol to any episode.
Good show this week.
Turbo 7049.
Best episodes since last week.
Another great job by Vitt.
Cogorfan1 ponders.
Not sure whether to give up on KC,
or to keep pretending to be her number one fan.
You can only get so much juice out of a lazy lemon.
Gangrenically lashes out. Patrick
Michael dominated your ass, Carl. But you wish you'd never messed with Mr. Broken Skull now, huh?
Get it? Because your brain is broken. Now go bathe your elderly mother bitch. Some kind of cave
demon says, I love that Sarah Silverman and Shamus are so similarly retarded. Imagine if they ran
a podcast together. It'd be the perfect abomination.
Hestia is the bestia opines.
Would have been a five star episode for me,
but this producer guy called Carl needs to keep quiet
and let the host Chris and the co-host speak for once.
Chico Ruizing.
Shish.
Kroge can barely get a word in edgewise.
I'll have to get my Kroge fix
re-listening to the latest
behind the Sm-talk episode.
Sherrades of Shagrin threatens. Carl, if you don't make those dabble and babble shirts a reality,
I'll find a way to pay less than $0 to your Patreon. Comka 1997 offers. Just search what Carl
looks like on Google, and in my humblest opinion, Carl looks like a pedophile. He looks kind of like a newer version of Jared from Subway.
A for Extreme Rights, Sarah Silverman has a voice that only a pedophile could love.
Reality stimulator, that Christian rap was amazing. When he finished the line with Bigger, I was already thinking,
I know what rhymes with Bigger. Oh no.
An encyclopedia banana guy plays us out with. Love the piss
break song. I remember the first time I
heard it. When I laughed so hard I fell off my
dime.
Is Vic here today? We missed your lashes.
It is. Let's see if we can get her up.
Victor. Vic!
Let's see if we can get her up Victor. Vic.
Hello.
Hey, I'm back.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Welcome back to the show, Vic.
How you doing?
A fantastic.
It's a beautiful memorial day.
Thank me for my cervix.
Thank you for your cervix.
Vic, are you going to be at our live show?
People are clamoring over.
I'm going to buy tickets, but only if I get to meet Vick.
Uh, yes, I will.
I love duty.
Don't have the lonely Vinny booth and the Vick kissing booth.
Did you see someone made a photo shop?
Yeah.
A Vinny sitting there by himself with no one coming up to him.
Yeah.
I love it.
It's great.
Accurate.
Vick, what are you gonna wear to this? Vic, what are you going to wear to this?
What do you know? I don't know. I've been I've been looking at outfits.
Yeah. Are they black and white by any chance?
I've been pondering it lately. It's 50 50, honestly.
You know, what's 50 50?
Whether you're addressing the power.
Yeah. Okay.
All right, Vec, do you have any reviews?
Any new reviews that have come in that you can read to us?
I do.
You've got a fuck 21 stars, man.
Oh, God damn it.
The first one is snarkiness and half-baked reviews.
Do not do a, wait, what?
Do not a good podcast week.
Are you good English?
For two guys trying to podcast,
they don't seem like podcasts very much.
It would be one thing if they did any real listening
to the podcast they review.
Instead, it seems they do try to out-snark
the previous episode and fail to present
any usable information about a show.
But we get it.
There are way too cool,
like some of the most well-liked podcasts available.
Skip these two.
Fair enough.
I mean, I can't disagree with anything.
That's sad of that review.
Makes a lot of sense, actually.
I'll just agree with the way too cool.
All right, so that's obviously a one star.
That is a one star. I only brought one star today to ruin your fucking stupid-esque game. Cool. Let's keep it going, slam dog.
Yeah, this one is pretty bad. The idea of two nobody's crapping on podcast fast,
and more successful than their own appeal to me because who doesn't like the truth to power and punching up?
Thank you. But these, but these guys are the worst
kinds of morning. DJ want to be as you can imagine, 15 minutes into my first episode, the loud one
had already said, ass hat twice. That's what kind of podcast this is.
Quality. That ass hat twice. This word is like dismas. This can't be a good show. I've already heard as I prefer ask why I
would say the horseshit three times. One five. That's one star. That's funny.
Uh, this next one, her username is mom laughing at murder. So you know, she's a true crime
fan. Okay. She said, I love she's a woman. So she knows the true crime fan. Okay. She said, I listen for 14 minutes and it felt like a remix.
The same three jokes three times each and none of them were funny to start with. These guys can't
understand a pod made mostly by women for women because their testes are clogging their ear holes.
It's kind of funny here or no.
are clogging their ear holes. It's got to funny here or not.
I said a podcast for what I
always said we make the same three
jokes. I thought I just had one
but a podcast. What are we even talking?
Oh, we should concentrate on those three.
What are the other two? Maybe
Kroger's not that show.
She continues saying we'll keep the
gaze and the girls. You stay at your
party. It literally sounds so fun by a 45 year old fox. All right. This last one is waste
of time. I'm not even going to bother to listen to this podcast because it's incredibly
juvenile and hateful to make an entire podcast solely to trash the hard work of other people and some of great podcasts.
I mean, if you don't, it's a waste of time to write a review.
Is it that wasting your fucking time?
Or a waste of time.
Yeah, but you can multitask when you're listening to something.
You don't have to waste your time, but writing something that's all you're doing.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Vic. No, Carl, it's all right.
This was also made by a woman.
Her name is Chelsea Dianne.
Sounds hot.
All right, they don't back Chelsea.
She goes on saying, if you don't have any original
or engaging podcast ideas, you have said just enough
instead of putting so much energy into a low-quality podcast.
Anything else you want to try to bump me out with here today, Vic?
No, I think you're already a little too depressed.
I don't know why.
Probably because Kaya made a better episode than you.
But that's very likely.
Yes. Hey, if Kaya and Doug want to do the my bookie reads,
take over the show for nobody.
I'd be fine with that.
That would actually
free up a lot of my time that I can concentrate on the creep off a show I do is Vinnie Paulino
that I don't talk about it up apparently. All right, I have some voice mails here. I just want to
point out that yes, I know Jesus is my end word is fake. Thank you for leaving me all those voice bells about that. I get it. Appreciate that.
Let's get into this guy owns the monster girl in psychopedia.
Hey, this is the child photographer.
I actually own a copy of the.
Is this your ex boyfriend, Vic?
I never dated him, but I think that is his voice.
Okay.
Hey, this is the cow photographer.
I actually own a copy of the monster girl in Psychopedia.
There's also a whole monster girl manga series, I suppose.
I just bought it on impulse one day when I fucking round online
and saw this monster girl hand tie.
Anyway, definitely not worth the price of admission.
You nothing at your cops, you'll fuck yourself.
Yeah, that's kind of my thought out of two.
I don't think there was meant to be stuff that would get guys excited
about fucking them.
Yeah, well, I don't believe that he bought it on a whim.
The guy that made someone dress up like a cow.
You think he's got some weird things going on in monster.
It's like the video on purpose.
That's a good point.
You might have some weird fetishes in this guy's
what he was saying.
When he springs, soy milk got a girl
before he stabbed the picture.
All right, that's a fair point,
but I'm glad that we know someone who owns the encyclopedia
even though monster mates need those guys do.
We all know.
Neither of those guys have purchased it. No, the kid goes the one guy goes with a 24 years old the one guy goes
Well, I share my Amazon account with my family so they'd see I bought it the other guy goes
What a good boy family? How are they even doing the podcast?
And if they don't have it, it's online. Oh, all right. You didn't check it out online
Hard copy.
Just in case the power goes out.
Did you hear the crossover with Dick Masterson talking
about mouse jamming?
Yes.
Yeah.
He really liked the concept of that.
Yeah, he's insane.
He's insane.
He's like, I think we can do a better job in this.
OK.
He's a psychotic person.
Go for it.
Yeah.
All right.
OK, I need to launch a formal complaint because I'm kind of high or fast right now like that.
But I just have to have the right point is at some point,
George will show today, you play a come-tow clip.
And I've heard come-tow, town sometimes but I don't know what the
front you were doing I need to put I need a place a formal complaint that you
need some fronted straight awardings on your podcast for if you're gonna play
come town clips of there but can take clips of come town and
a fucking loop that you get
trapped. If you understand
why that stage was for people
who lives in the acid and
why like you like your audience
is frowning high off acid
on a lazy Sunday afternoon
trying to listen to pocket.
This voice mail struck but
you're going to play it
anyway. So buy. Don't fuck yourself. Don't call me back off. Why do I envy this guy's life?
Yeah. He sounds like it's tripping on acid.
I think he is. You can't listen to a bad kid. I tried to read a book.
He had a sweaty quality to him. Like he's losing it. But he's like a
jimmaris older brother. Possibly. What book did you try to read while
you're tripping? Uh, it was a client book. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I don't get it. All right, let's keep it. Oh, it's a monster
mates in cyclopeia. That's what that would have been the joke. You best it. You best it.
This is the biggest ice still span, calling back again. Hey, Carl, I'm the guy that bought
all the isotopes shit. And played my couple of voicemails last week.
I just want to say I was pretty shitfaced when I left those.
I'm a little shitfaced right now too.
This is a different voice.
I'm not crazy.
I mean, maybe I am because I love the isotopes, but I'll see you around somewhere.
When you least expect it.
The truck stop that you know about.
Well, that was concerning.
Yikes.
Probably shouldn't have revealed that that was his actual home address.
Is this the guy on acid calling back again? What's this?
Okay, the acid war off and I'm going to use that last voicemail as an ad for times.
But if you are going to the live show and you want good acid. Find the V black man.
I know when we'll be in Chicago,
but V black man that will also be in
Chicago.
There's a good chance that I don't
lose my acid while packing like I
did for the Tampa trip.
But I'll hurt you up for,
comedically, of course, this is just a bit, but yeah,
shout out to everyone doing a live show.
I keep wanting to call it a real great.
This voice mail's too loud already, bye.
That's a great bit, and I want to participate
in that bit.
Yeah.
Communically, is it 30 bucks ahead?
Yeah.
I can't wait to try out that bit when we're in Chicago.
Don't forget to pack that bit.
That's a good one.
I like that guy.
He sounds like a lot of fun.
Yeah, sounds like he has a half sheet of bits.
Hey, Carl. Tucker Dickson here. I'm excited to hear you still want, Tucker Dixon here.
I'm excited to hear you still want to come to Jacksonville, but even though I'm pissed
you're not coming, I did buy tickets to your Chicago show.
I will see you in Kroge and the Vinnie I cast at the beer tasting.
I'll give a big old smooth, cheap, smooth to Vinnie.
And then I can hang out with crows that go.
And you know, I have some pamphlets for you on, you know, adult braces.
We can really help that out and make you stop looking like a guy who has been through
a trial separation and divorce.
Sick burn, Carl.
Sick burn.
Also, should I buy a ticket for a good old shameless?
Should he come in? We should buy a ticket for a good old shameless?
Is he coming?
We should buy a ticket for shameless.
Anyways, Tucker out, call me back, buddy.
I'll hang out with you.
I'll hang out with you.
I'll hang out with you.
I'll hang out with you.
I'll hang out with you.
I'll hang out with you.
I'll hang out with you.
I'll hang out with you.
I'll hang out with you.
I'll hang out with you.
I'll hang out with you.
I'll hang out with you.
I'll hang out with you.
I'll hang out with you.
I'll hang out with you. I'll hang out with you. I'll hang out with you. I'll hang out with you. I'll hang out with you. I'll hang out with you. Are you guys driving to the show? What, sorry, it sounds like that it was over, but yeah, we should go through Gary and Deanna,
hit all the stops.
You're not really driving.
No.
No.
It's like, you should pick up Patty Seacops on the way.
I got a problem with this voicemail.
What's that?
Fuck or not, no, that Cros is not the guy.
Like, I was,
I think he's a Cros is the guy that sound like that.
I mean, I think he's doing that a purpose
to get under my skin.
You think so?
I think it works. I think it works. I think it works. I think it works. I mean I think he's doing that a purpose to get under my skin. You think so? I think it works. I say uh fuck you. Wow. Oh, we got a beef going. I'll see you at the live show.
Oh, fuck you. Oh, it's on. It is on. I like it. Carl, you did not discover Patrick Michael.
You did not discover Patrick Michael
Done from who's right?
Discover Patrick Michael. Don't big time my boy. Don't do not do not
He was the one who brought in to gum
To gum is the reason why we know Patrick Michael
That's what's going on here. You get that discover has with Michael and you
Did not discover me in there
You later call me back Love y'all
What I meant by that was that I was the one who brought him to the masses
Like Gene Simmers in discover van Helen van Helen had already had a fan base when Jean Simmison saw them.
He was the one who got them a record deal and brought them to the masses.
I feel like I am Jean Simmons to Patrick Michaels Van Halen.
Yeah. I can hear that guy pushing up his glasses where he's like, uh,
in episode 83, 78, 80, who was right to get 22 minutes and 37 seconds.
I got news for a magic Michael first.
I don't discover anything.
I ask you guys to send me in shows and then I go check them out.
What do you think I'm scouring the internet looking for talent?
I'm time for that shit.
Nope.
Uh, right.
Hey there, Carl.
This is the affiliates and we just had a couple of notes for you. Let's
see here. Be better. You minted it clubfooted willingly. Mother baiting nobody being cuties
watching face for podcasts having mother fuck. Yeah, I think that's about it. Yeah, all right, well, go fuck yourself.
Call me back. Thank you.
The affiliates are harsh. Tough but fair. You know, who are you affiliated with?
Well, we're on a lot of different networks and a lot of affiliates. It's like radio joke.
All right. Um, hmm, hmm. Oh, this guy makes a good argument that the live show should not be in Chicago but somewhere else.
Hey, fucker. What does Chicago have? The my house doesn't. You can come over and we can fucking bust out the hungry men and stare at each other while you tell me funny jokes, funny man.
the hungry men and stare at each other while you tell me funny joke funny man.
All right, I'll do that.
It's good to know payphones still exist.
Well, Andy, you want to go to that guy's house and do a show? I house. I don't know.
Where's city is it in?
Call back and tell us what city it's in.
I got to I gotta get I'm taking a number eight with a large Dr. Pepper.
Beans and rice.
Anything else?
How about a apple pie please?
That's what?
Yes.
Anything else?
That's it.
All right, so there's one more.
Thank you.
He comes and goes.
Car, car, car, car, call, call, comey-ly on.
So perfect.
It's fucking funny.
All right.
Voice bells don't suck this week, people.
Please take note.
That took finesse.
Did.
Finally, my room record's called in with a take on Sarah Soma.
A lot of people talking about the Sarah so women program that we did
Carl Of course they touched up the picture of Sarah so women
Because they knew that if she found out and saw it all they would have to do is lie to her face and tell her that it was all natural
Because that's how it was.
That is true.
That is a very good point.
My breasts look so great.
They never looked at great.
And then they told me they didn't touch it up.
They did.
But here's the rub.
It turned out, they're perfect.
She's insufferable.
Insufferable.
Well, Vic, it was so nice to have you back on the show
and conscious. I know I'm in the minority on this, but I enjoy talking to you.
Of course, I got a couple of like threats to come back on the show. So I guess I had to add some very angry textures.
Really? With the threat new?
Yeah. Sending me fee picks of them.
Well, I will say that Casey will be back in the fold again starting next week.
So we'll have to work out some type of schedule or something because the people also miss our
friend Casey. Yeah, I can't wait to see her after her little depressive phase. We'll
see how much she's killed for herself. Yeah, I don't know. I assume like that she has
a lot of energy right now. She's really going to bring it. I haven't feel like I think
it's going to really pick up. Nobody wants that. All right. That's good. Alright, thanks, Vic.
Looking forward to seeing you in a few short months.
Don't get killed before then.
Yeah.
Yeah, we'll see.
Go fuck yourself, Carl.
Go fuck yourself.
Everyone.
I gotta go.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.