Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep262 - The Deep Dive
Episode Date: June 6, 2021Paul Scheer has been using the HDTGM feed to promote his wife's new podcast - The Deep Dive. We all know that June is the reason her husband's podcast is so popular, so this must be great! This week ...Cros and Branden join us to discuss how much money you need to invest in alternative therapies in order to heal your spirit. Then Dick Masterson joins the show to celebrate being talked about by Patty C Cups, a true honor. We go deep on the best week the Brief Case has ever seen. Then it's on to Stuttering John. What happens to his show when there are no mods or guests? I would have guessed it would be all smooth sailing but that's not actually the case. Support us and get bonus episodes: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Get tickets to our very first live show near Chicago on August 28th http://watplive.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I'm not gonna sit here and waste my time making fun of this who are these plusies podcast?
Okay, it's not worth my time. So are you lying to me or are you a grower?
Either way
Take your pants off and show me the business
If if somebody is here listening and they want to a find a thread of conversation that has a theme
You're not gonna find it. I don't know. It just just, it doesn't matter guys, you're over-analysing
what I'm doing.
That's your problem.
So that wasn't just a sweet voice I heard inside my head.
Episodes.
Oh, 16.
Oh.
Are you a boner guy?
Cause.
Cause a row.
Cause a row.
Slapperoonie.
It's show time. -♪ -♪
W-A-D-P-W-A-D-P-W-A-T-P.
W-A-T-P.
Hello, everyone.
We're Dixon Cousin.
Welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts,
The Only Show With Unbiased Opinions
on Women's Many-, many shortcomings.
I'm your coach, Karl Hamburger, with me this week,
the man who makes sound like Alex Jones,
but when he says Sandy Hook was a hoax,
he's just totally kidding.
It's crows, everybody.
Hell.
And also with us, a man who listens
to shitty music on purpose,
oh wait, that's another crows you want.
Well, either way, it's Brandon
from shitty song of the week. What's happening, Brandon?
How are we doing, everybody?
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Also, we encourage our listeners to give us a five star review on Apple podcasts and
then shit all over us in the comments section.
Today we'll be reviewing a show called the deep dive.
We have all listened separately.
We have not discussed it with each other beforehand.
Let's get into it.
This is a show hosted by June Diane Rayfield and Jessica St.
Claire.
And I'm just going to say guys right out of the gate,
hope I'm not stealing anybody's thunder here.
But I don't have any clips to get show.
Yeah, I enjoyed it.
Yeah, pretty good.
Oh, it's fantastic. You guys brought some though I noticed
Yes, all right. Well, is there anything that grows you like you have something to say?
It's already think that you think sums up the show for you. Yeah, my number one is them summing up the show all right
But I we need it and maybe it's this pop maybe this podcast can be a way that we can all kind of try as women and men to reach out to each
other and have a good cry while you're doing the dishes.
Who are you?
Yeah.
All right.
No, more false advertising.
Now, they don't pretend to be funny.
There's nothing that they don't advertise as comedy or whatever, but just the name the
deep dive, it means an extended, focused view onto a single topic. This show is an hour and a half of just Yenta's fucking yakin' it up
Over each other not even with each other. That's a good point. I never even thought of that. Like why is this called the deep dive?
Yeah, it's like idle conversation
If that yeah, yeah, yeah
I was wondering the same thing about this because this this stupid cut ruined how did this get made with her political bullshit and the social justice nonsense
that she keeps spewing.
So I was expecting her to go deep in the social issues.
Or like anything, but it's literally just talking
about makeup and fashion for a fucking hour.
Yeah, I have a clip of this sums to show up for you.
This is my number 11.
There are times where I'm like, you know, I want to wear,
now I'm going away this weekend with some of my girlfriends
for club for today.
I'm going to Palm Springs actually today.
I'm going to Palm Springs today.
Oh my God.
And I did buy a bunch of new duds.
And I'm looking.
What are you?
Oh, poor Brad, I didn't make it through this one.
Yeah, no, I really didn't.
I tried too.
All right, P body. All right, so I have a string of clips here Yeah, no, I really didn't. I tried to. All right, Peabody.
All right.
So I have a string of clips here.
I lied.
I have some clips.
I have some thoughts on this show.
To be honest, thank you.
These are the type of people who explain to you
that you shouldn't listen to their show.
And if you don't like it, that's OK.
Don't listen.
And they explain it over and over again.
I've been so excited about this podcast, as you know,
we've been texting about it.
Now, no one's heard it, no one's responded to it.
Again, maybe no one ever will.
I'm not so happy.
I'm not doing a bit like it really is okay.
Okay, yes.
Yes.
Okay, it's fine if nobody listens to the show,
which means you're a fool.
Why are you making a show that you're saying it's not a bit.
You don't care if nobody listens to it.
And then they act to be start telling people not to listen to it.
No, I know we've turned a lot of listeners off with that.
And I'm okay with that.
I'm honestly just like, I'm a lamb go keep on walking.
This isn't for you.
I promise you.
And if you, by the way, if you're thinking like, maybe this isn't for you, I actually want to save your time and say it isn't. It isn't for you. I promise you. And if you, by the way, if you're thinking like maybe this isn't for you I actually want to save your time and say it isn't
It's not that's if you're questioning that at all go please go. It's okay
They seem very self-conscious about it. Don't that yeah, that is a
Patrick Michael said that verbatim. Yeah, yeah
This is very Patrick Michael ask which is a little foreshadowing for later out in the show
But it's just odd to me how much they proclaim that people are being turned off by their
content and people are going to stop listening because of things they're saying.
And again, I know we just lost the last man that we're listening.
There might be one or two gay men listening still.
Maybe, maybe, old college friends.
Maybe, maybe. How fun friends. Maybe, maybe.
How fun.
Yeah.
Hey, guys, that conversation we just had was off-putting.
And people won't be listening anymore.
We, here's a little bit more of that.
And I know a lot of other people just turn off this podcast.
Right.
And I understand that too.
Yeah.
All right.
So there are certain reasons why people
would turn off this podcast.
This is one of the reasons.
I mean, we'll get.
We have to do a whole entire episode on menstrual cycles.
Well, Matt, time for me to be hit in the old, dusty trail.
But the last example that I played for you, I'm going to play the longer clip of why they
said, oh, we lost even more listeners just now.
And this is them having to apologize
for all the privilege they have
because they are Hollywood actors.
They make a lot of money, they go to fancy events.
And when you go to a fancy event,
you get hair and makeup done, you buy a nice dress.
I've dropped now between hair and makeup
and the dress I purchased.
Oh, at least I've heard of the 1000. Yes, yes dress I purchased. I've probably had $100,000.
I think we're looking at the ground.
Okay.
I think, and I know a lot of other people just turn off this podcast.
Right.
And I understand that too.
Yeah.
But I dropped a lot of fucking money on this.
And you know what, to the people out there who say, like, how dare you spend that money?
Like, I don't disagree with you. And we are also in a system and in an industry that demands
that we abide by some of these standards.
So I'm sorry.
Oh, but yeah.
You know what's offensive by that?
She thinks people are offended that the job she has requires her
to do things that cost money.
Yeah.
I've been to so many business galas and fucking horseshit.
You have to wear a suit and tie for,
like this is not abnormal to show business.
You moron.
And the fact that you think people are offended
because you spent money on hair and makeup and a dress,
is offensive.
That's fine.
And these people are so concerned about their privilege.
You know why I know I'm not concerned about my privilege? I can't spell it to save my life.
Yeah. I couldn't even figure out to get it close enough so the auto correct would know how to spell it.
I thought there was a D in there. My entire life I thought there was a D in privilege.
There is not. Just that fly.
Gone to my head. I couldn't tell you if the second ball is an iron E and I will never get it right.
Ever. Never know. It's spelled privy leech.
So now I know.
Now I got it burned in my head.
I see that.
Because I was trying to get over and over again.
I'm like, I got to get close enough somehow, right?
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
So that's what you can expect from these people is when they do talk about their lives,
they're overly apologetic for the lifestyles that they have, which is like, well, that's
why you have a podcast. It's fine. We've already bought into the fact that you've been on TV
shows and shit. Yeah. It's okay. You know, Carl, it's funny you say that though, because
if you play my clips three and four, they talk about, you know, you've talked about curated
voicemails on shows recently. I believe these guys have curated text messages that they
actually read on the show. And this is them getting praised for what a great show they have.
Okay.
There's definitely an overlap.
I see Lenin.
I see her.
But I didn't really see it until Lenin texted the both of us to say so lovely how she was enjoying the podcast and then said at the end and I'll just bring it up. I'll read it. Okay, I'll read it. She really hates now. She would
not like me reading her texts. I'll loud without asking her. And that's one of the problems. But I,
she said, I've told Jess, but I wanted to tell you both that this podcast is wonderful. The two of
you together are total magic straight fire. So every episode has made me cry and laugh so hard. I
had to nearly pull off to the side of the road. I thought that is so Lenin to just like write down, you know, just her from her
That's her best friend by the way. Yeah, is that who that is? Yeah, Lenin's her best friend
They have a show that's called like besties or something like that. I don't even know
Jesus. You know what's funny is that I have a body of mine who I went to high school with said my band is awesome
Yeah, you said my band rocks and I'm a great guitarist.
My mom said our last album was really good.
Did she?
Oh, do you have the text?
Maybe.
Oh, yeah, let me read it for me.
Jesus Christ.
These people are absurd.
Yeah.
All right, let me play your part, do you hear?
Oh, you know, just her from her heart.
But then she continues also comma.
June, I feel a new kinship with you.
You are not the only one Jess has called quote, weak and dead Bernice.
Heart, heart, fire, fire.
And then you wrote love you, Lenin.
I mean to call someone weak and dead Bernice,
which is not a person, but an idea slash movie title is just so upsetting.
And she wrote, it didn't feel good.
You are correct.
And then I followed it up with some images
that I thought actually gifts.
Oh my God.
Why the fuck do you think anyone cares about the text message
that you have with your best friend?
Let alone the fact that you were spotted with gifts. Yeah. Oh, Brennan, if you think anyone cares about the text message that you have with your best friend? Let alone the fact that you responded with gifts. Yeah, it gives a shit. Oh, Brennan
If you don't want to listen then don't if you don't like the conversation about text messages, they just don't listen
We don't care. Okay. If you don't like us reading emojis then go away. Just go in that
But it's straight fire though Carl. Well, let's talk about these compliments that are coming out of these two women's mouths because
this gets sad and I was taking a back.
Another thing has happened today, which we touch on when Heidi gets here, but you have arrived
looking
better than you ever have.
Bullshit.
And I need to know what the hell is going on.
Now I can't see the visual here,
but Jessica's 44 years old, chances are
there have been periods of her life
when she's looked better than she does now.
But I'm wondering, okay, what did she do to look so hot?
Probably a combination of diet and exercise,
but it's how you would maybe plastic surgery.
Let's find out the answer of why she's so hot.
Well, it's a spray tan.
So Andrew, she'd explained that she just had a spray tan.
She has to tell us why she had a spray tan.
This goes on for 10 minutes at the end of that, she says this.
So that's why I have this spray tan.
That was a lot of talking to you.
I'm sorry.
Okay, all of the stuff that I didn't play in between there.
She explains that she had a nervous breakdown,
that she got cancer, she moved to Europe,
she lost herself and then found herself again
and then lost herself.
And the punchline to all of this was,
and tomorrow I'm going to Hawaii,
so I need to have a base tan for that.
That is the difference between men and women right there.
Because if you're like,
did you get a spray tan like yeah, I'm gonna whine
That's the end of the story. Yeah, like the reason I go to why now to hear me out
absurd What are you doing this week again? Well it starts with my childhood?
My mom's not gonna hug me enough. Yeah, so I mean kids. I'm going to send these parties this weekend, but in kindergarten. I never felt loved
So I got a bunch of problems with this show if you don't mind.
Sure, I'm going to play one.
So my number two is them introducing the show.
Now, tell me if even though they're saying the names, tell me if you can tell the voices
apart because I literally can't.
Yeah, I never know who's talking either.
Hi, I'm Jessica St. Claire and I'm June Diana Reveal and this is the Deep D dive. Hi, I'm Kroge and I'm Kroge and this is Kroge stock
Like it I can't tell that I'm apart. I can't tell the party either
And it's next little possible to figure it out and then the next thing is that they're not
Well people right as they tell you over and over again
I'm not well right now. I, and you know what? That I'm glad you're here. And I'm glad we're talking
because quite frankly, you don't even have the time to pick up the phone and tell somebody
you're dysregulated. So if we have to do it on the air, that's my, I'm really dissociating.
I haven't seen my children in two, two and a half weeks. I still have another week before I see
them. I cannot see a soul here. I'm not well. Oh my gosh. What a very, very funny clip. Here we hear we're goofing
on Patrick Michael for podcasting from the closet, but at least he knows where his kids are.
Really? Yeah. Next door to that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. They constantly have to be the
victim in everything. If you play my number 19,
June tells a story about how she's away from Paul for a day,
and because he didn't get a hold of her on the phone,
she immediately thought that he was dead.
But I had a moment yesterday
because Paul was also shooting,
and he was somewhere where it couldn't contact him.
Yeah.
And he did have any service.
Yeah.
And so at so many points during the day
I went to a place of like what will I do like start to organize my mind was going and already grieving and and in some way
So already like planning wow
Mental illness already got the funeral planned. Yeah
Or is she hoping for that outcome because that's a possibility
Yeah, that's kind of what I'm thinking's going on here because why would that be the first thing that you think
That your healthy husband has passed away. I know at least accused him of cheating on it like a normal woman right
Grotesque hurt you
Oh, it's guy you got divorced.
My other problem with these bras is that they are not relatable.
My number four they like blind themselves on it.
You know, this pandemic has an affected me nearly as much as it has been.
I'm not going to like pride themselves on it.
You know, this pandemic has affected me nearly as much as it has the majority of people.
Of course. And that's the last time I'll try to be relatable on this podcast because it's not worth it for me.
I'm not a relatable person and I never have been and that's what I want people to know.
Even when I had no money and no access to the industry, I still wasn't relatable.
I still wasn't.
God, you're gal.
That's the store.
So just know that I've never been relatable.
And even turns that into a humble brag.
Like, yeah, even when I was like not rich like I am today, when I drove a piece of shit
and I like today, I don't know, because I drive a hot car now.
And then now they don't make any fucking sense and they're proud of that too.
Number five.
You know, you're gonna find it.
If someone's here, if somebody is here listening and they want to a find a thread of
conversation that has a theme, you're not gonna find it.
You're not gonna find it.
If you want to find consistent held beliefs, you're not gonna find it.
You know, there's a lot of bragging about how shitty their show is.
So, I'm joking, there was gonna be boasting.
I don't get, that's a weird flex, isn't it?
It is, but at the same time, they also brag about
how great of people they are personally.
My number 15, Jessica talks about how her kid,
her kid likes to sit in with her during her Zoom therapy classes,
which is fucking retarded, or therapy sessions. Yeah. about how her kid, her kid likes to sit in with her during her Zoom therapy classes, which
is fucking retarded, or therapy sessions.
But her, and this kid has got to be a toddler at this point.
They're having a conversation about somebody, and the kid, she says, quote somebody, I'm,
you know, Q Alex Jones on this, I'm calling bullshit.
Anyway, I'm driving BB home from school, and I'm catching my friend up quickly on what
was going on between me and this person
and babies in the backseat and when I hang up she goes, you know, I'ma, when people show you who they are the first time, you gotta believe them.
She quoted, mother fucking, Maya and Janu.
Wow, well you, my friend, have done something right.
Bullshit.
Just messing up.
You really have, you really have, that's incredible.
That's incredible.
Am I inspired?
Oh my God.
Such liars.
That reminds me, when my kids were really little,
they were still in diapers.
My son was about six months old and he goes,
Daddy, when there's a bustle in your head row,
don't be alarmed now.
It's just a spring clean for the main queen.
And I was like, whoa!
That's my boy, right?
You did something right, buddy.
Then he played the solo.
Yeah, the deep childhood there.
Played the solo note for note.
It was awesome.
Yeah, my son, when he was two months old,
he said to me, he goes,
pops, you got a fight for your right to party.
And I said, you know what, two words have never been spoken.
Carl Jr.
A hamburger Jr.
And he cracked a mickle of all-trut,
shocked the whole thing.
And then we shared a white cloth.
Yeah, it got all the day.
Put a rubber nipple on it, me and for him.
All right, I want to switch gears real quick.
I apologize if someone was in the middle of something
because they talk about how they're going to be talking
to their astrologer Heidi on this episode that I listen to
and they're setting that up here.
We just finished the interview that you will be listening to
with our astrologer, Heidi Rose Roberts.
And I never thought I'd be someone who said my astrologer,
who referenced my astrologer.
I know, that sounds crazy.
And there's a lot of judgment around it.
Not from coming from me.
Yeah.
This is the judge-free zone in my opinion.
So if you want to talk to an astrologer
and that's where you're getting your facts from
and helping you with your life, cool by me. I say go for it. Because when you to talk to an astrologer and that's where you're getting your facts from and helping you with your life
Cool by me. I say go for it because
They go see my astrologer people look at like you like you're insane Yeah, which I'm a little done with because I also think there's something to people
Loving being skeptics
Wait, there's there's people are skeptical bullshit and you're done with that
I know like these people will believe in like facts and science and rational thoughts.
I'd rather have people look at how the stars align and determine if I'm going to get over my cancer.
That's what I know, Carl.
My psychic told me you'd say that.
Yeah, well, I was talking to a medium who said bread is an asshole.
Yeah, he's not wrong.
And this spans multiple episodes.
So my number 12 is from the very first episode
and it's basically a combination of two clips
that you've already played.
And I, so we, and then they had,
and then our astrologer who we have on.
And I know I've said that word
and maybe a lot of people turned us off.
Again, okay, that's your loss
because this woman is gonna change your life.
Oh, that's the first time that she's like
scolding the people for not listening.
That's impressive.
Yep, you're lost.
You're lost.
I mean, you're fucking dumb idiot
if you're not listening to my astrologer
on our podcast.
Yep.
Quality content you're missing out on.
He doesn't mean a dumb.
I have to play some clips from this Heidi woman,
the astrologer, when they set up specifically what it is that she does.
Do you feel like it's all the same thing?
It's just the language or gift you've been given the specific thing that you've been
given is what's different between you and a psychic and a, you know, someone who lays
hands on people.
Do you feel like that when you're a healer or no?
Is that great? I mean, I honestly like that when you're a healer or no? Is that great?
And I honestly have never even called myself a healer.
I don't even know that if I would think of myself
as a healer, I would think of myself as a person
that sits with you and listens deeply and reflects
back what I see and encourages and gently,
and sometimes not so gently suggests.
And a guy, yeah, I do, I do resonate with a guy.
I'm not so much a healer as I'm like a quack
or a fraud or a grifter.
I guess it would be, would be a better term for that.
And she really leads it out there
because they're so impressed with things that
are a unimpressive and be ridiculous. You do such full body listening and I think that's
like I've never seen someone listen from the tip of their head, the bottom of their toes, you know,
Jessica and I wanted to just talk. So this grifter does full body listening,
which is funny because I always tell advertisers
about WATP and I say, you know,
our listeners listen with their ears, their hearts,
their wallets, their pubic hair.
Our listeners are listening with every part
of their full body listening.
It's coming from them.
And as, you know, a lot of grifters,
what they'll do is they'll give you bad news, you know, they'll be like, Oh, yeah, you know what?
You're not going to find your daughter.
You know, she's actually already dead.
They'll say stuff like that.
Not hiding.
I mean, obviously the one thing when people say I'm afraid to go see an astrologer, I don't
want to know any bad news.
I always say, you know, the wonderful thing about Heidi is like everything she says is
positive.
Oh, okay. She told, hold up your ass.
Well, that's good to know.
Yeah.
That sounds like somebody knows what they're talking about.
Just buttering you up every day.
Yeah, you got to come see my doctor.
He'll only tell you what you want here.
It's amazing.
I'm going to get a second of Penny from that guy.
See my liver's not shot.
It's fine.
I like Heidi.
She's a good egg.
Yeah. She really lays it out there too.
She makes it very obvious that she's bullshit because she even says this. You know, when you
say what, you know, what's in the stars and what was in the stars was irrelevant, right? Right.
Yes. She's like an astrologer who's like, by the way, everything I do is bullshit.
I just listen to you guys and repeat back what you want to hear.
Because this woman Jessica had cancer.
I think I mentioned that, right?
She talks about it quite a bit.
Yes.
And when she got cancer, her first phone call was to Heidi as you would.
Of course.
Forget about your family.
Yeah, your astrologer.
Call your astrologer.
Yeah.
And then it turns out that June called her as well once you found out the news.
May I ask, because Heidi was by the way,
also one of my first calls when we found out
you had cancer.
Really?
Yes, I called her separately.
Wow.
Yep.
So this sounds like a crazy thing to do
that there's two different women who call
the same astrologer when someone was diagnosed with cancer,
but you'll be surprised and no.
This is actually quite common.
It's been documented over the decades that this is what people do, even in art forms.
And then what you got to do, you gave me this and it makes me sad.
That was for me.
That was just for me.
Well played.
Big set up. Well, well played.
Well, since we're talking about Jessica and her cancer, she mentioned it on the episode
that I listened to too. Yeah. And look, you know, cancer is a life-changing event. I'll
give you that. If you get it, I'm sure you want to live on the edge and you want to,
you know, there's a bucket list. You want to go through it all this shit. Play my number
18. This is how she lives fast and loose.
Choosing the fuck yes life, that it'll be hard for you
to say I should go do this,
this seemingly crazy thing.
The two days before I got my best deck to be,
I went to Disneyland and I dressed in matching outfits
with my child and my nanny.
I knew that I was like,
there's something a bored housewife does.
Yeah.
They've tried a lot of needles on the show,
what stuff like that.
But they learn a lot from their guests.
Okay, number six.
Uh, and we don't all live the same things.
What if I could learn a little something about, say,
what cool up went
through who we have on the podcast when she was looking for her dad or what Danielle went through
when she's going to talk about her journey with infertility like or Casey went through when she
lost her mom like what if we learned a little something. And there it is, another hilarious, very funny comical clip.
Thank you, Shannus.
So, were they just pondering that they could possibly learn from others?
Yes, but only people who have been through horrifying trauma and are handling it very, very poorly.
Now, they have...
They seem like that's who they're learning from.
They have been an actress Casey Wilson, who it turns out has known what of them
since they were teenagers.
So they know everything about each other
and they constantly, they talk in secret codes
and over each other and whatnot.
But they know that they're full of shit.
They know that all this is bullshit
and I can prove it to you.
Number 13 is after the introduced Casey
and they talk about her.
And I know that you're up to some really interesting
things, including a course
to become a psychic,
which your own best friend
June didn't know.
Well, and here's the thing.
I think that trajectory
for a lot of.
No, no, why?
No, no, no, no,
it's just hard to hear it
side back.
It's not so insane.
Well, is it more insane
than you telling me you
have a gift certificate
to go see a wizard?
Okay, yes, I do and I've left it with wizard on here after I see and we all or
And I know it's hard to follow because these three just talk over each other and none of them can get a sentence out without cracking themselves up
But she does have a gift certificate to a wizard and she wants to have the wizard on the podcast later
So that's pretty cool. She's gonna take a course to become a psychic. She is gonna take a course to become a psychic.
Is that how that works? Yeah. Why do you think you're like born or there's no? You got to like go to
school, you got to study the chalkboard, you got to like, okay, I don't learn that shit. You got to
have enough credits. Exactly. Okay, so, okay, just please, please, please bear with me. Doctor in this?
I'm sure. Yeah, yeah. Um, bear with you on this side. What's the lowest level I can have
where I can tell people bullshit nonsense.
Snake oil sales, man.
It's charged that for it.
There's a trade school for it.
Oh, good, okay.
You guys want to go to a vocational school
to become a psychic.
I don't want to go too deep with this.
I'm not a real big book guy, if you know what I mean.
Just show me what gears to turn.
I'll be happy to figure it out from there.
There you go.
So here
we're gonna list off Casey's influences and there's such a nugget at the end of it. I love it.
Therapy was the first thing. The next thing I think was astrology was Heidi Rose Robinson,
who I really got so much out of. Then Mary Ann Williamson was somebody you guys used to go see.
Mary Ann Williamson, I saw her for years. I saw her for years. Before she of course tried to,
was attempting to be the leader of the free world
And then I got and I got very into her books and also of course the miracle you got Mary Ann right
I got into Mary Ann then June and I got into a woman named God K.C. I forgot about this name
Raquel Hunter who taught the Grinberg method. Oh wait was this when you guys transformed into
Oral's no that was an acting class
That was different things they got was an acting class. That was a different thing.
They got into the acting class, holy shit.
They almost lost all credibility with me.
Yeah, thank God that was just an acting class.
Yeah, like anyone that comes along that's got a book for sale or a class for sale or a group therapy session for sale,
they're in on and they even know that they're being gifted.
So this is a two-in-one shot, my next one.
If let's say you're having a pain in your shoulder,
that's also related to emotional pain,
you know, in your childhood.
You exaggerate the pain in your shoulder.
You don't try to release it, you go into your pain.
Okay.
That's the entire premise is you're going
into your pain in order to release it.
So we would watch people sit in the chair. Wait, you can't get in. No, we were in a in the chair. No, we were in a group therapy class. It was about 10 grand now. It wasn't
that much, but we're in a group therapy class. But if you added up the money you spent, we
could call it a company. Yes.
I'm not saying that this shit doesn't work, but isn't it interesting that the people who have
done the most therapy are the most fucked up like outwardly fucked up
I listen to Howard Stern for decades
This guy was going to see a shrink three days four days a week and he's worse now than he's ever been in his entire life
He's paranoid. He's unhappy every single day. Well, you'll notice the one thing he took from his psychology sessions back in the day was,
my guy needs me for another day a week.
Yeah, remember?
Yeah, he wants one week in a flash.
Three times short time.
It was like, it's just more money.
And these guys, like, they're literally laughing about it.
Oh, my God, all the money we've spent on all this bullshit,
we get on a company right now.
And it's funny because they're showing up to a podcast,
going, how you doing?
Like, I'm not well.
I've never had producer Chris over here or Kroge
or Andy, maybe Vinny.
Come over and be like, I'm not doing well today.
Like people usually are just like in good spirits.
Like this is a fun thing that we're doing.
Yeah, and oddly enough,
none of us spend money on like bags of healing crystals
which they talk about and essential oils.
And my wife actually is running some essential oils upstairs.
That might be why we're in a good mood.
Oh yeah, there you go.
That might be it.
I call bullshit on their therapy sessions too.
I feel like they, I feel like June and Jessica
just go solely to get attention from everybody else.
It's just a fucking pity party with these things.
It has, yeah, it has to be group therapy.
Yeah, yeah, that's a good point. It's like, oh, we'll take an improv class or group therapy, it has to be group therapy. Yeah. That's a good point.
It's like, oh, we'll take an improv class
or group therapy.
Whatever you want to do today.
And everything's a one-up.
Oh, you want to therapy?
Well, I want to more therapy.
That's a one-up from therapy.
And number 16, this is the brag about the stupidest thing
you could possibly brag about.
I did something called dialectical behavioral therapy.
What you got me into, of course, I saw that woman as well.
Did you? Oh, you did. course I saw that woman as well. Did you?
Oh, you did.
Oh right, right, right.
But I did actually a whole six month course, which was essentially, you know, kindergarten
for adults of like emotions like.
Oh, you talked her once.
I went for six months and it was like going to kindergarten.
I gave this woman thousands of dollars for nap time.
So I got to be there.
I was giving a blankie on the first day. So I'm doing pretty well myself.
Jesus.
It's weird with how damaged these women say they are that people follow them and
take their advice so well. My number 16, they have given this woman permission to cry.
And one woman tweeted us, I think I shared it with you, June.
Like she said, you know, I haven't cried once
during this pandemic, not once.
Because that is, that's fight or flight.
It shuts down your ability to feel that emotion
because there's no space for it.
And she said, but I'm a single mom of three children.
And when you said, it's okay
to ask for help. I cried. And so I'm, I could she said, because I'm so good at, I am good at helping
others. And so, yes, like be a great mom and feel great about that. But also know when you need to
ask for help and tap out. And I have a feeling these women only talk to single mothers. Yeah.
Because if you're getting into their fucking bullshit,
you are going to annoy the hell out of the men and your wife,
and they will lead.
You will soon be on single.
Yes, you're not already.
Right.
Well, you know what,
you know what,
you and Rayfield told me today, like, oh, fuck, all right,
I'm going to the bar.
Yeah, I gotta go.
Yeah.
How can you be so good at helping others
if you need that much level of health?
Isn't it funny how the people who have their lives the most fucked up also dish out the most advice?
Yeah, I've noticed that it's great. Well, you know what you should do Carl.
Whoa, wait a second. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm good. I got it. Thank you. Thank you.
Appreciate it.
But seriously, Chris, stop drinking. All right.
Appreciate it.
But seriously, Chris, stop drinking. All right.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
My number 10 is her talking about a gathering she went to with her friends.
I was a fucking mess.
I sobbed.
We all sobbed for a good hour and a half.
We sobbed.
Jesus Christ.
You guys remember that time we got together for that barbecue and we all just cried for 90 minutes.
That fucking out of the way.
They're emotionally unstable, I would say.
I think that that's a problem.
Yeah, I would call that.
Like even kids stop being fussy after a little while, right?
They're gonna get through it and figure it out.
This might be one of the hardest shows
I have ever had to listen to.
Who's wrong?
I picked an episode with a guest
to see how their interview skills were.
And I figured this is going to be like that Justin Long show where they talk, you know,
the hosts talk to each other for 10 minutes or so and then they play the pre-recorded interview
at the end of the episode. These fucking cunts went on for 45 minutes before they were
like, oh yeah, by the way, we got to talk about the guests we're having on today. So fucking
stupid. But my number 21, this is just a retarded thing
for them to say.
Now I saw people leaving voicemails from numbers
I've never seen before.
And I didn't care to find out.
Could be the best government looking for me.
I don't want them.
But I'm the born identity.
You can't get me unless you text me.
She's a series of movies just so you can text her.
This is a theme, right?
Because then they call her We Could Have Burnings before,
and now she's born identity.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, like what references they decide to make
her from retarded movies?
Yeah, well, I'm back to the future.
And I tried to make out my mom.
So, wait, what's the rest of the time?
Yeah, I'm John Wick, so beat that. I'm simple make out my mom. So wait, what's the rest of the song? John Wick, so beat that.
I'm simple to fucking tell.
Oh, this is fun.
You can tell that these people are just normal women,
because I remember when they were doing the promo
in Paul Sheer was talking about it
and how did this get made.
He's like, if you just want to listen to your best friends,
have a conversation, it's a random conversation. You can get it here.
I started to purchase things on vacation. This dress is one of them.
You know, because you know our stylist Claire has told me to never purchase on vacations.
Okay. I've decided to.
Whoa.
Boy, oh boy.
The stylist told them not to make purchases
while they're on vacation.
And this one's like, I'm not gonna heed that advice.
The stylists go fuck herself.
Yeah.
I'm gonna go ahead and buy a blouse.
And they have some really bad advice.
Like, they thread this needle where they go through.
The one of them says, I wish everybody could get
just a little bit of cancer and survive it so that they
could realize that life is fleeting so that you have to enjoy the time that you have on
earth.
And I'm like, oh my God, that's actually good advice.
And then she goes, and you, your physical appearance is just a skin suit.
And I'm like, oh my God, are they having some actual enlightenment?
And then she goes, so you should get a shits on plastic surgery.
You should buy a much plastic surgery as you can.
And I'm not, that's not my heart, I'm perverted, that's ours.
Because much plastic surgery so that you can be a vain fucking asshole in your time on earth.
Anyway.
That's funny because my advice is never fix your teeth.
That's what I tell everybody.
Don't worry about it, it's fine.
This one I fucking love.
My number 17 she asks a question and then just goes on to tell a story for 20 minutes. Don't worry about it. It's fine. This one I fucking want.
My number 17 she asked a question and then just goes on to tell a story for 20 minutes.
Can you just tell us what the kitchen handler was?
Because and I have to tell you, I came into this group of friends extremely resistant to
everything you were up to.
Well imagine if you're someone who doesn't spend any money and you're telling me I got
to drop $250 to go to the astrologer.
I'm like, no, good wait. And I remember you got so angry at me, Casey, you did. You said,
God damn it. It sounds like we'll gift it to you. And you did. You paid for my first session
to Heidi Rose Robbins. She turns out being number two of my calls when I get cancer.
Yeah. Number two. That's what I call. Who is there call to Yeah, what was the question? So I have a question for you
But first I want to go on a rambling story about the question
I know it was tell me about some healer whatever so
This whole idea that this person that I trust so much that was the one of the first people I reached out to when I have cancer
Is also the person that charges me 250 bucks to talk to?
Seriously?
For real?
And I've said this before, but in my professional career,
I've noticed that people in sales roles
tend to get sold to the easiest.
They also buy other people's bullshit.
I'm like, you're the one who's peddling bullshit.
How do you not see the bullshit?
And these women are the exact example of this. They're constantly peddling bullshit and also purchasing it every chance they got
Oh, and you can't tell them a lie
Domino
That they'll fucking
Listen to number 19. This is Casey Wilson
She couldn't get an appointment with some fucking psychic or whatever until she could and listen to this. And when when I spoke to her, I said I have to tell
you because I tried to get in with her a year before or nothing and I said I
just want to thank you so much. They're scheduling and getting me on your schedule.
It means so much to me and she goes, oh, but I didn't. She said the other side books
on my appointments. My god. She said, oh my god, to me when they're meant to and the other side is.
I don't believe it. What a fucking idiot. I don't even book my She said go get to me when they're meant to and the other side is
What a fucking idiot. I don't even book my appointments on an iPhone camera on a date book I got nothing the ghosts just tell me who to fucking talk to what's crazy is these aren't even the Scientologists
There's crazier people in Hollywood that these fucking assholes. Yeah, is there anyone with sane in this industry?
At least Scientologists can land major role
Anyone with the same in this industry? At least Scientologists can land major roles.
You don't know what to goodbye.
They're a little more successful.
And then get away with rape, which is fun.
Yeah, yeah.
Possibly we'll see.
But what sets deep dive apart from other shows
are the types of guests that they get.
And in my number 18, they're going
to tell you guests that no other podcast will ever get.
A lot of spirits are going to be present and we'll be calling the ancestors.
We'll be calling on this past on there very much.
So they're all here.
If they're all three chairs for them, that's what I'm saying.
They're all here.
If anything, they want us to do this podcast.
Yeah, I feel like your parents are here.
My mom's your Kelly's here.
Kelly is my best friend who died at 37 who has been guiding me and we'll talk about that later
Too she found she definitely knew I had cancer and was screaming at me normally. I don't do this
But I'm just gonna tell you next week at WTPR guest is a Ouija board
So you're gonna want to stick around for that. Let's go out of five. Well, I was just gonna ask if it's all right
The next bonus episode. I want to bring my dead grandma
Could you yeah, could she enlighten us? Yeah, it's like the next bonus episode I want to bring my dead grandma along. Could you? Yeah. Could she enlighten us?
Yeah.
It's like that brain buddy show.
We were trying to figure out which identity you were talking to.
That actually made more sense to me.
Oh boy.
Alright.
Cool.
I mean, I'm pretty much out of clips.
I was just really glad to hear this.
I don't know.
I hope that nobody's judging us.
I don't think they are.
But I still care.
Oh, I don't care. Oh, okay, guys. I'm really glad to think I don't care. I hope that nobody's judging us. I don't think they are But I still care. Oh, I don't care. Oh, okay, guys. I'm really glad that they don't care. That's that's good. That's helpful
Anything else that you guys want to play that we haven't touched upon or fuck would slam let's dunk on them some more for the same shit
I don't care so okay
The very beginning of the very first episode they try and try and try to talk about sex.
Okay.
But they're horrible at it.
They don't even have sex with themselves by the sounds of it.
And even when they're at whatever, number seven.
It's very difficult to talk about.
That's a very complicated deal though.
Like you would like a very complicated dildo
or whatever with like a,
you could put on the rotating,
you can put out the,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
Although by the way,
never used one with a dildo about that on a different,
that's right.
Oh, Jessica.
Oh,
oh,
oh,
wait, you don't own a vibrator.
Just a conversation with your best friends,
you know, randomly dropping in. Well, what's weird to me about that clip is she goes, I've never own a vibrator. Just a conversation with your best friends, you know, randomly dropping in.
Well, what's weird to me about that clip is she goes,
I've never used a vibrator and I'd love to talk about that.
I think he just did.
What else is there to do there?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not much you can add to that.
Okay, great.
I've never been to an NFL game.
Can you tell me more about that?
I know.
Yeah, but which teams did you not see?
Well, there's the way that I'm saying this. Yeah, which team did you not see? Well, there's the Rayman.
Holy shit.
Now, if you can even make sense out of this, this is, I took this just because like this
is a bunch of the show, number eight is just them cackling over each other.
Okay.
Because they were guys.
That's again, because you wouldn't know.
I think I'm going to get you in an hour.
We have a lot to talk about. I used one once and it made me feel like I was a dead fish like she's so much that I was like I
think I'm dead.
She was a bad lay for herself.
Yeah.
Not boating well for the men of their life that I would suppose.
If you're a woman and you're alone with a vibrator
and you can't figure out how to have a good time,
I-
Krood's got a podcast for you.
Yeah.
Get it off with Krood.
Yeah.
Welcome back to Kroodstock.
It's on the same network as the peacock party.
Right.
Get it off with Krood.
You laugh with peacock.
Yeah.
Coming up, after the break.
People have no business telling anything, network.
Up next on James After Dark.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
And then one of them starts to tell a story
about like a comedy sketch he wrote in college
and the other one's got to bring it back to sex
because that's going so well.
Okay. To the tune of Feed the Birds from Mary Poppins
Feed the Dogs in the last thing.
And so anyway, I know June just to be funny.
I mean, I'm serious, but anyway,
I mean, I'm watching the question like,
okay, so you're not using a vibrator,
but are you masturbating?
I mean, I'm gonna ask you.
I'm not dead.
Okay, great.
Well, so that means you feel better.
Yeah.
To me, what sexy is
Having to to dry hump over a pair of hard
What I don't even mean I don't lay I just want to say to you ladies get some friends
I did get some friends at Arnon show business that don't depend on you for your salary
Get some actual friends who can look at you in the face and say, you're a fucking idiot! Please get your shit together and stop paying a fucking
psychic 250 bucks to pretend to be your fucking friend! The fuck is wrong!
And with you! I didn't listen to you!
And get a fucking vibrator, can I do you? I have like nine blow jobs around the corner from here for 250 bucks.
I didn't listen to that episode, Crows. So how many fingers does she insert when she's masturbating?
The one who doesn't use dildos. That was in the bonus episode.
Okay, I didn't draw for that.
Fair enough. Well, this is a wild ride, guys.
Yeah.
That is a show called The Deep Dive.
And I would say that we did it more of a deep dive than these two, and we could ever do.
We stayed on a single topic for like 40 fucking minutes, which they don't do for five
It's like rain
All right, this is a little segment that we do on the show known as
The week
And crojas see you have a cringe of the week that you brought you all right, you want to start up?
So this is a show called Pivots from New York magazine. It's a journalist care swisher and my you professor Scott Galway
They're interviewing author Nancy Joe sales. They're talking about dating apps
It was like an interesting conversation about how they're really like psychologically bad for people men and women both
Anyway, then we got into some real cringe territory. All right
What would you like to see us advocate and push these companies to do to make a healthier
ecosystem? Higher, more women, higher, more people of color. More LGBTQ people, more women
in these companies in positions of power and in the design of that. So you have Bumble,
which was founded by a woman. Do you find that that's a healthier ecosystem no bumble was founded by
a woman who i mean i'm sorry to say i think is of
you know what they call for the soldier for the patriarchy
that's a way so that all women are better than maddened only certain types of
women i was i was just any woman any lgbtq any it would take
it really turns out no not that woman
she's a foot soldier for the major
These people I just I can't believe the cognitive dissonance they must deal with on a daily basis
The funny thing is so bumble is a dating service that is like basically run by women only women can initiate
Conversations yeah, and it is as much if not more of a shit show than every other of the co-ed dating services
Like it's a fucking dumpster fire,
but it's a women-led dumpster fire.
Doesn't Bumble mean to like screw up?
Yeah.
So they have a fake called like terrible relationships
and it's a dating site.
Let women run the shop.
That's what you get.
That's what you get.
Fizzle.com.
Take up my new social network, anti-social.
You guys are gonna love it.
Everyone just stands in the corner.
No.
Brandon, I thought you mentioned having a cringe of the week
or two.
Yeah, I got two clips for you, Carl.
Okay.
Now, I did something this week that I'm pretty sure
no one has ever done before.
And that's go on the Twitter and open up
one of those podcast suggestion tweets
and actually listen to a random show.
Okay, great.
Yeah, so I discovered a show called Real Brains
and there's nothing special to it.
It's just some fucking psycho not talking about
his life and growing mushrooms and sheds.
It's not worth really diving into,
but this guy's voice is interesting
and the way that he talks fascinated me. My clip won this is how he intros the show. My nugget's one.
You're done.
Tired the series. Yeah, that's neat. So, wow. Someone was suggesting that you
listen to the show on purpose and
Twitter didn't ban this person this person still on Twitter the person is at this oh yeah, absolutely I it's one of those
I'm bored in looking for podcast suggestions. What do you have and you know these lonely sad sacks with their shitty shows go on
They're like, please please listen to my shit
So I went through and listen to it. fuck this point out Brandon you're the first person to ever actually listen to a podcast
that was suggested in one of these threats I see them all the time oh I need some new
podcast suggestions from Twitter that's the worst part trying to get a podcast suggestion
don't that's an upside so this next clip I have for you is actually a super cut of the way that this guy pronounces
words.
He fumbles through the English language so bad.
Oh, beautiful.
That was just, I, those were skills that I have not seen in quite some time.
Routed two years, some shit like that.
You know, he could score when he wants to
Then then you got a easy, he's getting mad. Um, it's he's done
You'll do you'll do fine
Yeah, he's a, I'm so fucking, um, that's not what it is. They're just playing fucking ball now
But I don't know, you know, he's
He's a leader in network dashboard. I don't know if it's just
fucking... It's kind of harvest season. I've been doing the fungal thing.
So on the outside. I just said, I think the only thing I said was,
it makes for a grumpy Brian, you know.
No, all right, you know, let's fuck it.
Search for wedding dresses.
It didn't turn out the...
Shhh, I don't know.
It's crazy.
The stage.
Oh, what the, you have to listen to, Brad,
to get a super caught that big.
That was a 15 minute episode.
That would be worth checking out.
I want to check into that one.
That is pretty fantastic.
Real Brains podcast if you want to take a listen to it.
All right.
Well, I am excited to say the moment people have been waiting for, at least the people who have been in our discord and subreddit for the last day and
Dick Masterson is here dick. What's happening my front? Oh my god. How are you Carl?
I'm doing fantastic as you know how many how many times have you listened to this?
I feel like I've been mentioned I feel like God has named me specifically being on a
mentioned I feel like God has named me specifically being on a being the focus of a patty seecups briefcase.
Alright let's get into this the official way.
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me.
I go for the girl.
Because that's absurd.
So I just want to set this up real quick.
A brand new, the briefcase dropped yesterday, June 4th.
And it's all about myself, Dick Masterson.
I, of course, texted Dick about this.
And he was delighted.
What do you listen to it?
And agreed to come out.
I'm just going to play this one clip now.
Dick, I just want you to know, Kroge and also Brandon from shitty song of the week is here and
Guys, how you doing? Hey, how's it going? All three of us have pulled clips from this episode. Yeah, so we're gonna have to
I don't want to belabor this team. It's only 15 minutes long, but let me start off with this one clip
But I think this sets I think this set is typical you, Cantony. That's exactly what I would expect.
I'm getting to the word for me.
I'm getting to the word for me.
I'm getting to the word for me.
I'm getting to the word for me.
I'm getting to the word for me.
I'm getting to the word for me.
I'm getting to the word for me.
I'm getting to the word for me.
I'm getting to the word for me.
I'm getting to the word for me.
I'm getting to the word for me.
I'm getting to the word for me.
I'm getting to the word for me.
I'm getting to the word for me.
I'm getting to the word for me.
I'm getting to the word for me.
I'm getting to the word for me.
I'm getting to the word for me.
I'm getting to the word for me. I'm getting to the word for me. I'm getting to the word for me. I way, this is the third episode dedicated to me in like the last three weeks.
Remember when I was at Chip Chippers
and he lost his mind over it?
This is not that long ago.
But he's not gonna waste his time.
Dick, I bet if you want to point out something
that you found funny, I bet we have the clip of it
because I think we have every part of the show
between the three of us.
Oh my God, let's see, right off the top of my head,
I like when he reverses.
Oh, I like when he gives you credit to play all of his clips and then says he would,
he would DMCA you if he could.
But anyway, in the typical patty seecups fashion where he immediately does the exact opposite
of what he just said says you have permission to play all of his clips in their entirety.
Oh, here it is.
Clip this, put it in your show.
Matter of fact, play the whole episode.
Play the whole episode, dude.
You're not going to get a copyright strike.
Wouldn't even know where to begin.
Because if I did, I'd shut your whole shit down.
Because you've used way too much of my content for your fucking sad excuse for a podcast.
I keep using it, though, by all means, but use the whole episode.
Don't try to clip apart and make me look like a fucking retard
when the reality is you don't even understand a joke.
I don't think you really understand how funny works.
So this is one of these great things
that Patrick Michael's been doing lately,
where he teeters back and forth between knowing me
and never having heard me ever once in his life
and not knowing anything about me.
So, you know, he thinks I'm taking stuff
on a context to make him look foolish.
I tell people to go listen to a show.
I do it all the time.
Please go listen to the briefcase.
I'm sending it along to people.
Like, you gotta check this out.
It's amazing.
So I'm gonna listen to his karaoke tracks too.
Put his karaoke singing in your movie and your film.
Uh, having a at your wedding.
If support him as much as possible in every way, he's a quintiple threat.
You know, there's no, there's no way you can't enjoy patty sea cups.
Oh, wait, Carl, I wanted to ask you, how is it that you say exactly wrong?
So I couldn't.
It's been pointed out to me.
I've been working out of that deck.
I do say exactly.
Adam pillar.
I was saying I was saying exactly for a little while there
What I didn't realize that she I couldn't I didn't realize this but apparently I couldn't pronounce the word picture
Or exactly until people told me that I'm pronouncing these words wrong
I know he got you there. He got me there
Well, that's what that's like again
Like teetering back and forth like all the sudden he knows shit about me like he called an episode
Exactly exactly exactly another episode that came out I think earlier
It was a busy week on the briefcase
What about the what about the come feeding? I know it's lunchtime from me
So I've got feet food on the brain, but when he talks about feeding us is calm. Do you have the hat?
That's my number 15
Okay, I knew I knew what you guys would have it and again. No, I'm not coming on your show
The dick show. I'm not coming on fucking who are these dummies. I'm not coming on. We are assholes I'll just come on all of you so open your mouth put those sweet lips out and I'll come on all of you. How about that?
Okay, right gay jokes guys gay jokes. Do you get it?
Let's see. I have to say that because these fucking retards will be like look. He's gay
It's got a gay
Talking about our sweet lips being ready for you're getting your calm. Yeah, that's gay, buddy
I mean you could tell these visualizing it as he's explaining how it's gonna go down
Seems kind of gave me I don't know come on us. Okay
me coming on you isn't a
Sexual thing
Okay, so I was purely not understanding what he was saying and all that I think somebody
Clearly not understanding what he was saying all that. I think somebody ejaculating out of my face
Which would be very sexual in nature, right?
Okay, it's a dominant thing
It's me turning you into my bitch
Okay Right because of course you don't willingly want my calm all over you. Yeah, well guess what?
I'm gonna snowball you motherfucker
But you're gonna take it like a bitch
Okay, so you can make your game joke or whatever say the eyes
I don't get jokes I do a roast podcast
That's literally just making fun of jerks and this guy's like oh, yeah, you think that's funny
I'm gonna come in your mouth and you're gonna take it
because you're a bitch.
There might be some sperm on your nose.
And that's not gay, by the way.
Now take my car and just laugh.
Oh my God, this guy's amazing.
This whole episode is fantastic.
Literally, I wanted to come every part,
but I tried to hold back,
but thankfully, Brandon and Crowe just picked up the slack farm
e-soul. We do have everything here. Crowe, what- what- what you-
I tried it you.
You know what? He does a little June Diane Rafe film, my number 28.
Oh, right. I always love when he does that.
In fact, everybody that's been listening to the episodes recently, please go away.
Just leave.
Find a new show, man.
Because this one's dead the briefcase is dead
All right, he won
The guy who is who has been doing the same shit for
17 years he beat me he won he got me
So now I'm gonna quit
Oh, wait a minute if I, what does he have to talk about?
He's gonna make his show worth listening to him?
I get the fuck outta here.
He's got all the lunch in this election ship.
He's really got me, man.
You need him more than he needs you.
That's what he just said.
And he's got it figured out.
But he don't say some shit he's not wrong about my number 30.
Okay.
If you guys really do enjoy what's happening here,
stop supporting this dummy on Patreon.
I don't want your money,
but don't give this fucking loser money.
Don't give him money to hang out with a guy he thinks is a celebrity.
A guy who calls himself Dick Masterson,
oh, the line's such a fucking internet rebel.
Look at me.
No, you guys fucking circle jerk in a basement once a week.
I mean
Zachary I mean
I'm gonna look forward to yeah seriously. I want to know if that's true. Do you think I'm a celebrity?
Is he right about that? Well, when I met you I did ask for your autograph
And I did ask you to sign my chest. So does that answer your question? Yeah, you must. That must be true
just so that's your question. Yeah, you must.
That must be true.
I just didn't like the idea that he's trying to make it so I can't make a living podcasting,
which I find to be malicious in nature.
And after you've supported him and sent people to his page, I mean, and encouraged people
to get the positive.
I supported him on Patreon before he blocked me.
I was paying this guy money to podcast and now
he's telling people not to pay me to podcast, which I find to be a little hypocritical to be honest with you.
I don't. Yeah. Yeah.
I spent a slander. Especially when he wants he wants his money as your ex-wife, Carl, my number 10.
Okay.
Because if you did, you certainly wouldn't make a show where you're making fun of people that have better shows than you.
That's weird, dude. It's weird.
It's sad, but I'm sure you've heard all these things before, but you haven't heard it for
me.
The guy who is a main product of your show.
You should be paying me.
You should be paying me.
As much as I'm a part of your show, I should get half of everything you make.
Half.
I want half.
Alright, so I'm going to say this right now.
I will pay Patrick, Michael, money.
All he has to do is send me his home address
and now the checks in the mail, buddy.
Half.
I'm an angry, why?
How much do you get paid him?
I guess I got to give him half.
Yeah.
Well, didn't we invite him to do a show with Maddox
for like $4,000?
That's true.
We did offer him money.
Yeah.
So that's interesting.
I forgot about that.
So I have to pay him half. I got to give opi at least two thirds
Stuttering John's gonna request about three quarters of everything I make I'm gonna be broke
Yeah, I'm not doing the math to my head. That's something I'll be jury you're out of fraction
How you gonna get all that money out there if Patrick's taking your patreon people away?
That's a good point to he's like I went half your body and everyone's not paying a body. Like, you're not doing the math here.
You're hurting yourself.
Oh, I'm taking all your stuff again.
Give me all your stuff.
I'm the ex-wife that couldn't stand you anymore.
And now I just want all your stuff.
I want all of it in fact, but I'll take half.
Oh, thanks.
That's reasonable.
Because without me, you're nothing.
Without me, you're zero.
You need me.
Do you think he believes that?
It just sounds tough.
Is that one of those?
I think so.
I wanna get Dr. Steve on here sometimes soon.
Cause he wants to do like a deep dive
into the psyche of Patrick Michael.
Like figure out what's wrong with this guy.
Like why does his brain not work correctly?
That's a scary place though, man. I think if anyone's up for the test
That your Steve is up for the test. You look into the void too long the void looks back and you
Yeah, he had an interesting take on
Being requested to do shows my number 29 he brought up a really weird point about this
It's weird that they think that they're doing so well, and yet they're still asking me to come on their shows.
Uh, Jimmy Kimmel thinks he's so funny, but he still asked Emma Stone to come on his show.
What a loser.
He still tries to get the rock to come on and talk about his movies.
What a jerk.
The fuck kind of, what the fuck angle is that?
Dick, do you still want to get, uh, Patty Patty Seacup to call into the Dix show?
Oh my God, I would give anything to get him to call,
because I'm not any good.
I wanted to be clear that I do, I am obsessed with him
because I love him genuinely.
Yeah.
I want his come on my lips.
I wanted to come on my show and tell me
what's wrong with me and why I'm not funny.
And in all the areas of my life
Yeah, what I'm doing in my relationships
My my basement should I not be recording in my basement should I be recording?
I want to hear more about my bicycle that I have do you have that
He even has bicycle point
It's like Dennis the men is hosting a rose with the bicycle clip
It's funny that everything in his world
falls back to high school.
Yes.
I think this is it here.
I'm gonna have to.
Congratulations, dude.
You're just as cool as you were in high school.
These are the guys that tried to get a cool bike
when they were kids just to make friends.
And it goes on to say that we had a cool bike because we didn't have a
person at least we had to do that instead.
And it's funny because as soon as I went to college, I stopped talking about
high school. And then as soon as I got out of college and got a real job, I
stopped talking about college.
Yeah. This guy's in his mid 30s and he always talks about high school.
Yeah, I know this guy. He's like that guy in eighth grade that he used to pick
on. Yeah, I'm not. I promise you. guy at eighth grade that used to pick up. Yeah, I'm not I promise you
If you were my
Great I would have made you cry you did say that wow nice Brad good
It's like Peewee's big adventure. This is cool. Hey everybody look at my cool bite
Like who the fuck wants that multiple people cannot enjoy a bicycle at the same time
How is that a way to make friends?
You get a Nintendo or like a super Nintendo or something.
Oh, guys, I got NBA Jam.
Oh, come over and check out my bicycle.
No, you get cocaine.
That's how your popular night's come up.
You want to know that.
All right, I gotta play the clip
that I think this is the most common on,
common to the part of it.
See, I can't talk.
He's right.
The most common to commented on part of it. See, I can't talk. He's right. The most commented on part of this broadcast.
And I have to admit, this gave me a genuine laugh.
I'm not sure if it's the punchline or the delivery,
but it definitely is funny.
Hey, look who it is.
It's Dick Masterson and Carl, AKA Dopey and Anthony.
There you go.
Clip that.
Play that in your show, fuck boys.
I love how he cracked himself up.
He was so across the South.
He was like, play that in your show, fuck boys.
That was the most confident.
I know, just impressive.
What magic might be so good.
Kudos, I'm proud.
Carl, if you play my number seven, I've got that ISOed for you.
Play that in your show, fuck boys.
You're a cantony, right?
I'm dopey, I think. Yeah, I got to imagine, because you were saying Dick Masterson and your show, fuck boys. You're Cantony, right? I'm Dopey, I think.
Yeah, I got to imagine,
because you were saying Dick Masterson and he said Dopey.
And I got, my name starts with K, some Cantony.
Someone said we should rename our crossover episodes
to Dopey and Cantony.
Yeah, I saw that, let's do it.
I, I, I googled it too, I can't find Dopey and Cantony
anywhere, he must have made it up.
Don't be in cantony in the morning. Hey, whether traveling at the night is coming up later.
Now here's some bon jovi.
I love it. What else do I have from this? There was just so many funny, so many funny parts
where oh this is this is the sad part.
This is where it gets kind of a bummer.
But as I said, the briefcase is dead.
Podcasting for me is done.
After this episode, consider me out of here.
You might get some new content,
but it's only gonna be what?
Episodes, I've already recorded and edited.
I'm not recording shit anymore.
Because if somehow I'm not recording shit anymore because if
Somehow I'm being compared to whatever those fucking losers are doing. I'm out
I'm out. I'm not doing the shit anymore. I'm not gonna keep being in some sort of category with these fucking
I'm not gonna be in some fucking shitty category with these fucking quees. Can't do it
shitty category with these fucking quees. Can't do it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha like the peak of it where he's trashing his office like in a real studio like, and I'm not gonna be compared to these quips
and everything, you know,
everybody tries to do their own version of it.
That's what I want.
People to do their own version of this.
Fully produced stage presentations
we'll do it at the next road rage.
I think it'll be hilarious.
Dude, I'll even take just off the cuff ones
that people do in their study at this point.
I just film yourself re-enacting that.
Yeah, and then post that line.
That's not the big, that's a great idea.
I want you Jimmy Stewart do it.
Yeah, do it different impressions.
Yeah.
I'm not gonna make compared till they is quames.
Yeah.
I think it might sound a little something.
I like this.
And I hear Schwarzenegger doing Patrick Mike.
All right.
So because this episode dropped and everyone's talking about it,
he's got a ton of downloads, a ton of listens on this thing.
So he immediately takes advantage of that and puts out
another show the same day that just promotes all of his other shows
He's like, well now I gotta get the word out there
Seven briefcase episodes this week
I'll take you through them later. All right cool. All right. Let's listen to this quick promotion
He has because now he's getting all the earballs
But anyways guys, thank you for the continued support.
As you can see, I really work hard on this thing, put in a lot of hours.
And I hope, I hope you're checking out all the other projects.
Welcome the apocalypse, school of scoundrels, weird life.
Don't leave it to the judges.
Oh man, I always forget, do you party?
Dude, where's my jokes?
The peacock party, bullshit and booze,
broke knock, life podcast, the searching.
Because there's a good chance if you don't like this,
you will enjoy them.
So get out while you can, the bus is about to leave.
He's actually saying that the opposite of what's true.
If you do like this, you won't like that.
Like we like the briefcase.
We like Patrick Michael, ranting like a lunatic.
I don't wanna hear him talk to an unfunny person
who tried to write a joke.
Yeah, that's the thing I don't enjoy as much.
He likes buses, I've noticed.
Usually you get on a train before he leaves the station.
Like a drunk train can't be stopped,
but he's on the bus.
He's always about the bus. and it's not the city bus
It's the school bus. That's a good point. You're right
See only more to transportation than for bit him. He even starts his show with Chris Farley as the bus driver and whatever
It seems to me like of the axe book mark check out the big brain and
I spent a long week with Patrick Michael. Okay, all right. Let's talk more about who I am to Patrick Michael. Yes, and the funny part is he only clips me because I have such a quality
Podcast I actually make jokes I actually make funny stuff and he's got to use it for something
But remember you're not important to me dude. All right, so remember, you're the same exact level
as a dirty sock, which isn't good.
I'll keep you around and reuse you.
I use a dirty sock.
I think he's talking about a cup sock, right?
A sock.
The polite version.
Yeah.
A guy he's jerking off on me.
The better, what object I am, he's jerking off on me. The better what object I am, he's jerking off on.
And he's a harsh insult, Carl.
How are you going to recover from that?
That's, that's rough.
And he's waiting for his woman to come home and do the laundry.
Is what it sounds like?
Well, you mentioned his wife.
I'd like to get her something nice for just having to tolerate.
If there's any way that he could give us an address or a Peeble, just some nice
jewelry, you know, to brighten up for a day.
So any of Valentine's Day present perhaps,
I just love to get, I don't know if Patrick Michael
what he's what he's getting his wife,
but it would be nice to get something for her
if he's refusing our money.
Yes.
So he says that I'm only clipping him
because his jokes are good.
And I have to agree that anything that I clip from a podcast is because it actually is
really good.
Patrick Michael once again figuring out our format and understanding it completely.
Jack mate.
He's got it all figured out.
Can we talk about clicks and dicks number 32?
Of course.
What an ugly world this podcast clicking is.
And these guys want me on their team so fucking bad.
You sure do.
So bad.
And yet I want nothing to do with them.
So if you want a guy who's riding solo doing the shit his own way and has been
since day one, get on the fucking bus.
Get on the bus.
Owner.
Otherwise, stay over there with these guys that both have receding hairlines and fucking you know any dicks. I mean you know all right number 34.
Hold on a second. I cry for a little while after you can give me a second to
recover from that. Bundle thing. That got a sting. Did he say the podcast click?
Did he use clicks, right?
I think so.
Yeah, because-
Are you beginning of that?
Podcasts are just tables in the lunchroom
in elementary school.
Yes.
And you guys so badly want Patrick Michael
to hang out at your table
because he's got a cool transformer
and you guys don't.
He also explains that all of my friends live virtually
in the internet, which I thought was interesting.
He's like, I don't live near LA, I'll get over that.
Now that you mentioned that,
he brings a friend of mine into that.
I'm pretty offended by this, number 39.
Okay.
So keep an eye on this guy, he's not doing well.
His mental can't be that great
if all of his friends exist in a virtual world.
And they have weird screen names names like Scotty fuck fuck. I'm a feeling that's gonna be you out the
sub right away. Scott you leave Scotty fuck fuck out of this. What did he ever do
that? Scotty fuck fuck I ever do to you. And this is coming from a guy who podcasts
with a man called Dick nose on the internet. That's true. But I'm glad you hear
that my mental can't be great. Yeah, your mental can't be great.
That's true.
Anybody hanging out with Scotty Fuck Fuck can't be
have mental mental.
I do say stupid shit like that.
I just added it out so that can't be made fun of
by retires like Patrick Michael.
So add it your shit, Dabby.
Yeah.
34 is going to turn up the volume for God's sake.
I know.
It's so well.
He still hasn't learned production at all one button
Get better at speaking before you put your voice on a microphone. Yeah
All right
Your mouth is probably great for other things, but not speaking
So do your best now and shut the fuck up. Why don't you take and
Shovel nice dick master send it in the back of your throat
My mouth is good for other things.
I play a mean slide whistle. Is that what you meant by that?
Look at that possibly mean put a nice dick master then in the back here throw.
I think it's another gay joke. I'm gonna throw it out there and just saying that this guy's got a lot of gay jokes for us. And then, you know, another one of those things where he's not exactly wrong number 37.
I would have killed myself two years ago if I was having a sit-through shitty podcast all day long.
I'll say, man, it's no big deal.
That's an ad-tion.
It's not easy.
It's why I have a rotating crew of co-hosts that come over here because nobody wants to
do this every week.
Yesterday it was sunny out, it was beautiful, I'm taking a walk through the park, and I
got June Diane Rayfield in my fucking ear.
I can't think it up about psychics and shit.
Sorry.
I feel like I'm always apologizing to people.
Sorry about that.
Hey, I keep coming back
Uh
And then okay, let's let's get deep in number 40 just just sit out and fucking buckle up for this one
He's gotten so desperate. He's played clips of me not even saying him and
Him thinking that it's him because it's sometimes not him. It is usually my dad
I'm usually talking shit about my dad when he goes nameless because I'll just say Carl
Yeah, I'm glad you pulled that one
So dick do you know about his dad? Do you know about the war of the no?
What is his what is his dad do better than everyone else? No now for pack of smokes his dad left it when he was young
Oh, so that he's the he's the greatest dad in the world.
No, that's not the greatest podcaster.
I think that he's projecting his dad onto me.
I think what's happening here is he's going,
this person who's an authority figure
who has wronged me in my life was my dad,
and now it's Carl from who are these pussies.
What he literally said was, sometimes when I'm talking about my dad and now it's Carl from who are these pussies. What he literally said was sometimes when I'm talking about my dad I call him Carl.
That's what he said.
It's not me projecting that's what it's worth.
So are you like a father figure to him in his eyes?
Is that what's going on here?
I am.
Cause you weren't shit from your father.
I'm just talking to the father figure.
I've been telling him on a podcast for three to half years now
Fuck son, let me show you how to use audacity
This is called normalizing a track you're ready for this
There's a shortcut. There's gonna save crows a bunch of time. You're gonna click this way
Does he know where his dad is? I don't think so because there was this one episode He. We find his dad, go find a private investigator, find his dad
and interview him.
So the result of the giant is a PI that we can reach out to.
That's an amazing idea.
Yeah.
Can everybody please look for a Mr. C cups.
He's out there in the world somewhere.
If you live near a guy who's retarded and always talking to himself
and recording karaoke songs all day every day to contact us. It might be Patrick Michael's
dad. I don't want to leave any stone unturned out this one. So we just have a suspicion.
Let us know. We will look into it. So like I said, there were seven entries in the briefcase feed this week alone, okay, and
They start off sort of sane and then they go off a cliff real bad
I'm just gonna play a couple of these my number 23 was the beginning of the mic culture episode
What's up mother fuckers? Welcome to the podcast of open briefcase. What's up mother fuckers welcome to the podcast.
Welcome to a briefcase.
That's fun.
That was just a fun way to open the show.
High energy, high vocabulary and just an overall knowledge in podcasting and what you guys
want and what I'm going to bring and what is necessary to quantify as a good podcast.
Now, today's episode we're going to talk about a stupid shit. Does this mic smell? Quantify as a good podcast now
Mike smell Jesus
Too much
It's amazing if this was a horror starting a race you would shoot it
Wow, here's a little piece from the closing of that episode.
It's a very next one.
It's only boring today, and I know it's boring because I posted a new episode of the brief
case 40 minutes ago, and you guys like fish to water.
You know, you know, you know, you, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you know what? What? Like a thirsty dog. Like a thirsty dog.
That's low hanging fruit.
You know what else is low hanging?
My dad's balls.
No.
Um, Jesus Christ.
You guys lapted up like a thirsty dog.
Woo!
Wait, wait, wait, fuck yeah!
Alright.
He's got to have autism.
He fucks up too many metaphors.
The next episode is the- Wait a second, we're just going to let that one slide, Krell.
I always want to go there, but- That was the most sense he made during that clip.
Was a fish to water.
And he had dropped the podcast 40 minutes ago. How many listens do you think it had at that time?
That he's bragging about it.
30.
Yeah. Enough. Like, fish to water, man.
So by the time he gets to the last episode, before this one that we played a whole bunch
close from, he's out of his fucking gourd, man, number 25.
Here's the intro.
All I will get, what's going on, brav, welcome to the Limey pod, guys, they did it.
We're doing a novel show.
You're gonna get it. It was just your help. I would do it in a week, you know what I mean?
That was the same guy?
Yeah.
Wow.
Come on right now.
Come on right now.
Come on right now.
Lot of rings.
He lets slip the secret of all secrets.
This is all scripted.
This is all planned out guys.
This isn't him just fucking around.
You guys think I'm sitting here just talking into the microphone like a psychopath. No, it is scripted kind of from a to Z
scripted
God damn you guys think it's a game you think I come in here unprepared. I'm just saying things willy nilly
No
Willy nilly is written down on this piece of paper in front of me. Alright, fuck with me.
I'm having a good time.
Dad and dad get out of the sleep.
Bro, I've been getting out of the sleep.
And he's so right.
From sleeping on floor.
But didn't get there.
I was home and make what tea we didn't edit co-taire.
He he he he.
I'll cut all of that.
This is a mental patient.
Now what?
Now this is speculation on my part.
What I think happened was that
Carly made him sleep on the floor.
Okay.
And then dropped a brick on his hat.
Okay.
Okay.
What would you hack as a webcam?
Why else would anyone sound like that ever?
Ever.
Why would you ever make those noises with your mouth?
And then for reasons I can't even fucking imagine he freestyles a song
He closes the episode with a freestyle song number twenty. I'm sure it was written down and scripted that crush
Let's see what he wrote down
Keep on keeping on going and stopping and being in the song at the end of the show and we sing along like we don't know and
Words and
This he did a planet and a grows out I catch trees and then we dance
together
Stars
Shine our way. I hope that's written down. See that that's called free styling
I hope that's written down. See that that's called free styling
You should try it and see if it's even half as good
That sounds like the end of 2001 a space Odyssey when Hal is getting his brain pulled out
Somebody clip that in do that scene
There's a planet and a couple of Pop it in a post Dude, that scene! Cut that! I heard the planet, Annakos! Oh, I'm popping it up, pussed. It won't be a stunning, stunning view.
I'm the upward, upward,
upward, upward,
upward, upward, upward,
upward, upward,
upward, upward,
Yeah.
Oh, God. I don't know. Oh, yeah, something else. Yeah, just one more. Here's him trying to come up with the movie name Top Gun for a minute.
Number 9.
If you look at the timeline, if this was before, whatever that movie is where they play
volleyball on the beach with no shirts on and then eventually suck each other's dicks,
what does that movie? They probably did. It just wasn't filmed or it was
filmed but that's somebody's secret stash. They got to see the guy from ER and Tom
Cruz suck each other. It doesn't matter. That's how he's in Scientology now. They
probably have that DVD somewhere. It's a hot take by the way. No one's ever
said that Tom Cruz or that top gun scene is gay. Actually VHS. It doesn't matter but it has that uh no it doesn't matter now.
They fly shit. A guy there's nicknames in reference to birds, Maverick. You got to use Tabb with the God. You got to use the God.
Shit Birds, you know?
Birds that don't, it's a duck really, you know,
a Maverick or is that a horse?
He never gets out with that.
No, she never does.
She never does.
Classic, Shameless movie review.
It was called The Boss that couldn't slow down.
It's an hour and 46 minutes. It takes him three episodes to remember the name Top Gun.
Yes.
Yep.
That is correct.
He actually does another minute and then does a whole bunch of more homo-rotic jokes
about it.
But anyway, that was my week in Shameless and Holy Shit.
Thanks for a fucking roller coaster real week, buddy.
Wow.
That was a wild ride.
All right.
Dick, this is something else I want to talk to you about is I went when Patrick Michael, who's never listened to the show, doesn't
care about the show does entire episodes devoted to me. Some of the things he says are just
nonsense. Some things are rooted in fact, like me saying exactly like an idiot. But then
he predicts how we'll react to his show, which I always think is fun.
You're gonna say, oh, he must be a fan.
Or Carl's getting to him because he's talking about, he's mentioning Carl so much, he must be getting under his skin.
It's a little bit.
If that's the case, if me mentioning him says that he's getting under my skin or I'm a fan
What does that say about
He must love me Carl loves me. I've literally said that
Specifically on the show multiple times Patrick Michael. I love you. You're the gift that keeps on giving
You know, I once got for Christmas the one of those things you get socks in the mail every month
Yeah, Patrick Michael's even better than that because it's not just one to find.
If you know you're gonna like it every time too.
So that you get socks and don't match anything.
Patrick Michael's the only podcaster that I look forward to listening to.
Yes.
I put it like that.
It's like I watch the fail channel.
You guys remember that fail channel is just people getting hurt and like people like messing up their stuff. Yeah. That used to be around the clock channel.
I would watch that and Patrick Michael and that's it. I love him. Unironically, I love him.
I want to open a sports bar where we just play Patrick Michael on a loop and everyone shuts
the fuck up. I don't even talk to your friends, but to shut up we're all listening to Patrick Michael.
I put Patrick Michael's face through a face,
gender swap thing and I beat off to it.
That's how I'm while I'm listening to the show.
That's how much I love Patrick Michael.
I'll put it in terms that he can understand, a gay joke.
Yeah, well that was actually less,
I was gonna say it's less gay than what he would have said,
but Brandon, was there anything else that we missed that you wanted to highlight from this show?
Yeah, I got one more clip from Patty C Cubs so we can play here.
This is a, this is kind of a declaration that he makes and I gotta be honest with you, I kind of agree with him.
This is my number 25.
Oh, right.
Especially if it's somebody who doesn't even know how to upload a photo.
You expect me to believe you have something to say?
Get out!
Get the fuck out.
It goes back to like the guys like Aporslan.
Or beige frequency.
Alright.
Neither one of those guys show their faces either.
They don't show their face.
You guys know what I look like though, for sure.
If it's not obvious enough,'m beautiful okay I'm a unicorn
I'm the unicorn of persons all right pretty special pretty special he's a genius the unicorn of
persons you don't do explain what a unicorn's a metaphor for it. We know, we got it. You know, if a unicorn were a person,
I'd be that person.
Well, yeah, no, I got it.
I get what you're saying.
I lied, Carl, I have one more clip.
I apologize.
This is a classic contradiction from Sheamus.
He starts bitching about people.
Eventually, we're gonna run out of steam
and stop having comments to make fun of him for.
But in the same statement as he's saying that, he himself loses steam.
And this is my nervous way of life.
I remember this, this is great.
But you can keep doing it. But just remember, you're gonna, you're gonna run out eventually.
I'm not. I'm not. And I have not asked, I haven't asked anybody.
For anything, I don't need you to send me anything about For anything I don't need you to send me anything about Carol
I don't need you to send me clips from his shit. None of that. I don't need you to make me music art
None of this shit. I do it all myself. You know why?
Cuz I'm talented
I figure it out
Do you have that skill?
Do you have that skill?
Is that a new podcast? How much did you pay for your music? How much money have you put into your
podcast? You won't know how much I put in the mind? I know how much you put in the years.
Exactly. Exactly. But what were you saying about the... Oh yeah, I remember. Uh,
What were you saying about the... Oh yeah, I remember.
Uh, no, I forgot again.
Ah!
Take that!
Alright, so there's a brand new podcast with Patrick Micah.
I just got to, I just want to, yeah, I just want to talk about this real quick, just because
I thought this was kind of interesting.
This is called Welcome the Apocalypse. Here's the intro for the new program.
That's right, everybody.
Welcome the Apocalypse.
I'm Patty Broken Skull with me, hipstar, Zach.
This is the new program, dude.
This is the new program for all the people
that have been programmed.
And-
Oh, I can't wait.
Can't you not just wait and it all.
Oh, man.
I don't know on fire. You know, if if it wasn't us it would be someone else so
We have to at least involve ourselves to a certain degree, but I guess what we should start set this up with is kind of
How we met and and and plans of this podcast, right?
Why would you start with how you met
How I met my podcast go host
Why would you start with how you met? How I met my podcast, go host.
The new set up.
Why do I need to hear the plans for your podcast on your podcast?
That should be discussed beforehand.
You know, I bet Patty C. Cubs has like a drawer full of free business cards
that he's got, like the free 200 cards for a business
and then he went and got another 200 card.
Like, here's another thing I want to do.
Here's another way I want to present myself.
Right, because he's always out of the next thing.
Something, I'm not saying his show's take off,
but like, nine minute podcasts became semi-popular.
People weren't checking it out.
And then he got scared and ran away
and started doing something completely different.
So it's weird that he's so afraid of success
and yet tiptoes through it.
Like this example with the briefcase.
He says, all right, you guys are all checking out the show.
Here are all the other shows that I do,
you should check them out.
But if we were to go over and start checking out those shows,
he would have banned those shows.
Yeah.
All right, he's just gotta do, are you gay
as a podcast and such and that.
That's what his love is
Do you take dick mastersons cock into your mouth then you're gay
Thank you gay. I did talk about it for an hour
All right, this is the last day I want to play it's a longer clip, but here's the deal
You just heard him introduce this new guy hip-star Zach
So hip-star Zach is the new co-host of this new show, welcome the apocalypse.
This guy just showed up in our discord recently and he was in the shameless watch channel
and he's talking some shit and everything and I'm like, oh, okay, that's kind of interesting.
Well, I think I'm onto this guy. I think he's another one of these guys who was doing the
deep undercover move where they pretend to be his friend and they're like, oh, yeah, I
don't like that Carl guy.
He sucks.
We should do a podcast together.
And I'm sorry I'm blowing your cover, dude, but it's not cool to fuck with him in that
way.
Like, this is a roast.
We make jokes about him.
We say he's dumb.
He says he wants to come in my mouth.
Like, that's how this works.
We go back to the middle chest now.
Yeah, that's how this works.
So feel free to jump in his stop at any time, but this is hip-star
Explaining that he found Patrick Michael through who are these podcasts. You found me because of just a fucking
a
I was trying to think of an artist's name got none so Monet the Monet of podcasting right this guy is just a
You know what really a Charlie Brown comic of
right? This guy is just a, you know, really a Charlie Brown comic of podcasting. What the fight? He's, no, no, no, he's a typical internet. Oh, don't I can't say comedian. He's a
typical internet personality, man. I'm the Charlie Brown podcast. That might be our
detag live. I like it. It's not bad. There's so little to listen to on the internet now.
So this is when you find something new, you'll try it. And I have that, I have that autism in me
where I pay way too much attention to vocal cadences and crutches. And after a while, if there's
like flaws in their editing or if you start to get a sense of their personality and realize that
they're shitty people, then you'll tune them out.
And now that's why I only listen to two shows,
but I mean, oh, by the way, I'm the hip star
and I hate everything on the internet.
Yes.
I'm the real natural heel on the internet.
Nobody believes in that shit anymore.
Everybody wants to say like,
oh, I'm a bad guy on the internet,
but oh, please subscribe to my patreon
There's no real heels on the internet. I'm tired of this shit, man
Yeah, dude, so anyways, you know what I gave it was fun at first
Say no see there because you and there's that was W ATP with a reversed right there. Oh, he likes to do that
Yeah, it's weirdly did in the entire episode
where he reversed my name every time he said it.
And now this one, and that song that he produced,
it's just like my name throughout,
can't make up his mind how I want to do it.
Wait, who reversed it?
Patty Seacups?
I think Patty Seacups did.
He can't figure out normalizing,
but it can reverse audio.
Oh, that's weird.
It must be a thing in anchor that's just easy to do.
Yeah.
Anchor say, the little paper clip comes up
and he's like, do you want to reverse Carl's name?
Yeah, I do, actually.
Thank you, paper clip.
Are you trying to match the name of your mortal enemy?
I'm here.
You look like you're crying.
Yeah.
Neap New York.
Well, for the boomers, the term podcast has been so overdone.
That's why, as overdone as stand-up comedy is now, right?
So, the word podcast has been overdone.
Well, that's what they're called.
And then it goes, as overdone as stand-up comedy, what does that mean?
Wow.
Of course, we need a show to critique them.
So at first, you know, you try on the first couple episodes for size.
It's a nice, you're like, okay, this is good.
But as you guys see, it was a fan of the show.
Alright, everyone follow it home.
Listen to more than three.
I swear to the non-existent God,
you're going to get so sick of this and predict this guy as who he is as a person
Thank you the suck you bus of just the attention seeker that he is that word bus again
And I'm just I can't I can't listen to it. I think it's been over
About a year now. Yeah, There's no interest in that guy.
It's so fucking predictable.
And he has indeed become everything he's critiqued.
And I'm sick of it.
All right, I do play voice mails at the end.
So fucking get over it, everybody.
You don't have to listen to the voice mails I'm asking.
Man, you got to play this clip for an abortion protest, Rally.
Because that would change anybody's mind.
Like this person exists and that's too bad.
Well, this guy is teaming up with Patrick Michael.
Let's see what happens with that.
Let's see where that goes.
I'll be interested to see if Hipstar is who he says he is.
A guy who used to like WTP and has turned on us
and joined forces with Patrick Michael.
Man overboard.
Well, he was in the discord saying that he will take over our Patreon within the next
year.
Did you see that?
That sounds like a, that sounds like a phony.
Yeah, that's what I thought too.
I was like, I'm out of this guy.
Yeah.
I think I know what's going on.
Sal D of Patrick Michael fans.
Right.
Yes.
He's the opium stuttering, John's.
Hey, real quick, Dick, Dick I have you here, I got a voicemail from your buddy, Dr. Phil.
Oh, really?
Yeah, that's kind of interesting.
I didn't know he was a fan of the show, but, huh.
Hey, there's a call.
This is Phil again.
You haven't been returning my calls there, buddy.
And then just wanted to say, I don't know if this is a
who does that like Oxman doing a Dr. Philip Russia or these problem so much as
a who is me problem Carl now fill in the blanks with me here who are blank
podcasts is your problem these or is your problem me?
Call me back, Carl.
Go fuck yourself.
What's funny is that that's actually something
that Dr. Phil would say.
That wasn't a stretch by Eddie Vids.
Even the go fuck yourself, part.
Maybe especially that.
No, he's very crashed.
In between takes he would go,
these mother, I heard him say the n word about
probably 20 times.
While I was in the Dr. Phil house.
No.
And that's what the hard are.
He would say, A, all the time.
No, as you astutely pointed out
when we were talking about Dr. Phil a couple of years ago,
is Dr. Phil is one of these weird guys
who tries to help him with their problems,
but also tells you to put down all your friends. years ago is Dr. Phil's one of these weird guys who tried to help him with their problems,
but also tells you to put down all your friends.
You're not a loser like your friend down the street.
That person's an idiot.
You're cool.
Like, what?
Why are you assuming that?
Anyway, Dick, thank you so much.
Is there anything else you wanted to chat about?
What do we miss from this episode?
I don't think so.
I gotta go listen to it again.
I probably listen to it four or five times now.
I can't get enough patty sea cubs.
I really can't.
I genuinely love him.
All I want is for him to raise the levels of his audio.
That's it.
Don't change anything else.
It's perfect.
It's perfect.
He's the citizen cane of shit. Yeah. He really is the room of podcasters
Yeah, which is why I do love him. I mean Tommy was so is staring at me every day as I podcast that giant poster on the wall and
Paddy's like I think Carl loves me. Yes. Yeah
Yeah, when I listen to you this much, I did love you. Yeah, of course I do
Everyone loves you. Yes, we're all fans. I don't you. Yeah, of course I do everyone loves you
We're all fans. I don't understand why he's so perplexed by that. Oh people are down on him I showed it. Let's see do it. What's going on here? Get the rest all
All right, well, I was more excited that he mentioned me than when Bill Burr mentioned me
That's awesome, but oh patty see cops talking about me. Oh, yes
I was like, oh yeah, Bill Burr, that's awesome. But oh, Patty C. Cups talking about me.
Oh, yes.
LAUGHTER
I did a quick roast of Dick for his 40th.
And I said that the thing he's most famous for
is that Bill Burr saw him on Dr. Phil.
LAUGHTER
Some careered show business, Dick Masterson has had.
All right.
That was a great video.
It was Carl giving me a roast and then like a bunch of guys
talking to me like I'm their dad.
That was a great, that was a great 40th video.
Thank you Carl.
80s girl didn't specify what the content should be,
but I happen to know that when you make a video
for your friend is turning 40,
you make fun of the person.
It's not to be like, by the way,
you inspired me in so many different ways.
Well, I'm gonna, I'll go yell it here right now.
Thank you for letting me know.
All right, Dick, go do Dick.show, check out the Dickshow.
patreon.com slash the Dickshow.
I'm a proud Patreonie.
It's worth it.
You get to watch every single episode
and listen along live.
So Dick, anything else you want to promote my friend?
I mean, I'm a celebrity.
Everybody knows what I've got.
I don't need to promote myself like you guys do.
I'm, thank you.
Thank you very much.
Have a good one, guys.
All right, buddy, get out of here.
You see, yeah.
So, oh boy.
Wow, I feel like we've done three shows already.
Yeah.
It's a lot.
But I have to play a quick clip from OP
because this is just one thing we're gonna do
a whole OP segment, but he's never heard of Carl from WTP.
He's getting this question a lot lately.
And he always says, I don't know, Carl.
Who is this probably I've never heard of it.
But then he kind of like gives something away
that makes me think maybe he has heard of us
and knows what we do.
Who are these podcasts is one of your haters?
Okay, I don't know who they are.
I've never listened to them.
Why are they hating on me?
Why?
Why?
Why?
The one thing I'll say is, man, the format that you hear out there, whether I get along
with the guy or not, me and Anthony paved the way for the way you fucking listen to things.
And I know that is pulling a hoo hoo, but prove me fucking wrong.
Were you, were you find clips of things and just beat the shit out of, out of the people
that are on those clips
No one was doing it to the extent we were doing it back in the day
Prove me wrong
So in a show like who are these
Podcasts making fun of me go at yourself a taintamed the way. You wouldn't even know how to
fucking do this if you didn't listen to the opian anthony show. You stupid fox.
I've always admitted that to be true. And uh, hey, opi, I didn't tell you to start a podcast.
I was never my attention to make fun of opi with this format, but the guy had to go and
get fired for taking the video. Some guy shitting.
And here we are.
You know, what are you going to do?
Oh, God.
He also said that he's paved the way for your format and what
it is today, but at the same time said that he wasn't the first
one to do it.
He was just one of the people to do it best.
So you can't pave the way and be the second or third person
to do it.
And not for nothing, but I think Sam Roberts
was the one who pulled all the clips and set up all the clips and then left the comedians in the room make jokes about it.
Howard was doing that in the 80s. Remember when they used to play the clips from the celebrity
press junkets? Yes. And they were the only people that played them. And they would play
them and laugh their asses off for an hour and a half at fucking Tom Cruise promoting.
What was it like working with Steven Cigar?
Oh Steven Cigar's amazing. Yeah, it's amazing to work with this guy. It was such a talent
This I so sitting alone in a hotel room somewhere fucking speaking anything I invented all this
They're just fucking copying me. They wouldn't be here from work for me Facebook live and to fucking ten people like seriously dude
But my favorite part is that he goes,
I don't even know who are these podcasts is.
I've never even heard of them.
And the reason why they have the four bets that they do is because I was doing that with Anthony.
We were the best at it.
I'm still big. It's the pictures that got small.
We'll call back for you all.
All right.
All right.
This is a very important thing that we need to talk about
Gaky, yeah, Stuttering John did a show on Tuesday. And it was a disaster.
Really?
Oh, too.
Even for him?
Even for him, because now as you know,
he's pissed at Hockey puck,
and Hockey puck is no longer modding for him.
And I think Nikki B wasn't around.
So John has to figure out how he is going to moderate
his own show while he's going to moderate his own show.
Oh boy.
While he's hosting it.
Oh boy.
So Nikki B showed him how to slow down the chat.
So it kind of gives you a chance to see it before everyone else does
and block and whatever you got to do.
And he starts off his show.
I kid you not.
Three and a half minutes of trying to find the button to do this on YouTube.
God damn it.
This is just a part of this.
I'm just gonna play you a partist, but this is what he thinks is a show.
I don't know where the hell this thing is.
Oh, damn it.
Well, that just drove me a whole loopy, sorry people, because I can't find the way to do this.
And it's now, it is disrupting my show, but it's okay.
I understand what's going on, but I have to find out how to do it.
And I don't know how to, and I'm trying to, uh,
that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, okay. I, I, I, I, yes. Oh
Okay, I
I can't yes, get on with it John. Let's see No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it would have been more entertaining than what he was just doing. Well, this continues until he figures it out.
No, until he gives up.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Sorry, I can't figure it out.
And I've wasted enough time with it already.
I'm not going to thank you Luigi Great Show.
I know it's just okay.
Anyway, let me just get the show on the road here.
What a broadcast there's still a job Melinda's you're you're amazing you
spent those 15 years on the Howard Stern show you weren't from the past you
really figured out how to do this very impressive so now he's just signal to
all the trolls that he does not know how to moderate his own chat room and I was
excited we started this reading the list of people who are in the chat room.
Rebecca Hawthorne, Eli Montoya,
Jasmineiac, Texas Yankee 33,
Night Wolf, Animal Cross Leite,
my mom's, Cia John Def,
mega hey, nice, the,
Animal Cross Lea's there.
Wow.
Uh-oh.
So there's this other guy in there
whose name is
Hank Sinatra, Jr. Hmm, and I think that they might both be trolls
Hank Sinatra, Jr. Thanks for the two bucks and I'm across leaves a snake in the grass
Well aren't aren't there so many
Well done, thanks to that to you dear
These guys were fucking with Jon.
That was a deep-con out of that.
The entire show.
Yeah, it was pretty good.
But it's hard to explain the funny trolling that's going on.
You have to take my word for it and Jon getting flustered and stuff.
So what I wanted to talk about instead is the content of Jon's show once he starts doing
a show.
Now he's supposed to have this guest on.
And the guest is one of the three people he ever has doing a show. Now he's supposed to have this guest on. And the guest is one of the three people
he ever has on a show.
It's a major Richard O'Hada.
And he doesn't show up.
So now John has to figure out what to do on his own show.
Because as you know, his format is he asked a question
and then shuts up for five to six minutes at a time
while the guest filibusters.
But, then he comes in with some hard hitting analysis
like that's cook a crazy or that's ridiculous.
Oh my God, since you said that,
I have some examples of the level of John's
political discourse is brutal.
Ron DeSanth, I mean, Joe Manchin,
you're a piece of garbage.
And Kristen, cinema, you, how dare you?
How freaking dare you?
Just unbelievable.
Just freaking unbelievable.
And, you know, I am, it's hard to stomach actually
because I don't, you know, or to say, it's just
amazing to me that, that these two people are going to hold up the proper stuff, the proper
legislation.
Yeah, he's got a real good grasp on the issues though.
He really does.
He just says that Republicans are garbage and how dare them. Has he ever heard a real political show? Yeah, but they're they're crazy, Carl. Have
you heard them? They're like they're they're crazy. This is a show for Nickwits. Yeah.
And I understand confirmation bias. I'm guilty of it as well. But wouldn't you want to hear
some analysis or rationale on why these people suck? I think I have an idea.
I want to do like a libertarian show,
where I just get on and I'm just like,
duh, and the government is being very government-y.
They're crazy.
I don't like that there's governments.
They're disturbing.
It's too much, it's too much government.
And these clowns.
In Congress.
There's too many men.
You're a human being.
Yeah, gotta go.
At a certain point, in the chat,
people are talking about Michael Flynn.
John doesn't know anything about it
So he Googles it gets to a Washington Post article and immediately starts spouting his opinion. Oh, yeah, this guy should be oh, yeah
This is this is a crime what he's doing
Can you believe this guy's crazy?
It's fucking political analysis
Yeah, it's the worst ever heard here's another example of that
Where he's talking about because he's very upset about these voter suppression laws that are happening.
Here are some of the things that I tweeted out on Memorial Day.
I said it's time that we abolish the white supremacist Republican Party as we support
those that served and died for our country.
Many were people of color yet so far far 14 of 22 states have passed voter suppression
laws to make it difficult for people of color to vote. Remember that.
So he's reading his tweets, which were incorrect. 14 states passed 22 laws. He says 14 of
22 states. Why would it be of 22 states?
It'd be a 50 if anything, right?
I like that's all.
Yeah, I like that's how he's meant as Memorial Day.
Yeah, but what did you know?
People of color wear the Army once.
Happy Memorial Day.
And then somebody, because there are people trolling him
in this for once, like it's not just an echo chamber
that he's got going in there.
Oh, echo chamber girl. Oh, echo chamber once like it's not just an echo chamber They's got going in there. Oh, I could chamber girl. I could chamber is that he said? Huh? Oh, I could chamber
So
Somebody says John what about these laws is racist? Can you please explain this and again?
John's analysis is brilliant. Yeah, well, a rollo I looked at the rules and it is it is voter suppression laws
and it is, it is voter suppression laws. And, and if you don't see Will, Arroyo, that it's voter suppression, then you, my friend, are a racist. You are a racist. If you can't
see how they are singling out people of color and making it harder for them to vote in
their precincts.
And if you don't agree with me, it's because you're stupid.
I mean, that level, it's comical.
Like that would be an SNL skip.
Yeah.
Well, how is the law racist?
You don't think it's racist, the new racist.
Yeah.
Okay, I guess I agree with you because I don't want to be a racist.
So that makes sense.
I mean, you could always like, I don't know, talk about what the laws actually say. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yeah, right. Like not even a headline understanding, like just the tweets about the story.
He doesn't know what the story is.
He probably thinks the laws are actually called
voter suppression.
He probably thinks like,
I keep moving past the slides called voter suppression.
Wow.
All right.
There's no way he understands what he's spewing out.
Well, he doesn't seem to have a good grasp of it
because when people call him on it, he's got nothing.
It which reminds me, we gotta do another Stuttering John video.
And we should have, we should get Chrissy Mayer to do a side by side.
And that could be what we do is they have a political debate.
Because Chrissy is very libertarian and she gets into it.
And I would love to see what John's reactions, you know, hypothetically,
it might be to some of her questions.
And if you don't agree with me,
it's because you're a con.
Conny, do you want to get a beer at?
Yeah.
Oh, speaking of that, dating Republicans.
So he's talking about he did beer on the balcony,
guess who his guest was,
I'll tell you, it's Hal Sparks, yeah.
Oh.
So he has Hal Sparks on beer on the balcony. Now these two have spent thousands of hours talking to each other on the balcony, guess it was guest-wise, I'll tell you, it's Hell Sparks. So he has Hell Sparks out beer on the balcony.
These two have spent thousands of hours
talking to each other on the internet.
But this is the episode you have to see,
because it's not political.
John doesn't interview with Hell Sparks,
and he really digs in and asks the questions
that we all want to know about Hell Sparks.
But what a freaking beer on the balcony.
Hell Sparks revealed everything. We learned how old he was when he lost his
Virginity was 14 years of age to an old woman
Stage told you were born on 10 for your name should be Roger Roger that today. It's dog thanks for the three bucks
What are revealing interview we talked about love with how about
if you could have a data Republican,
we went through everything and then we talked comedy,
music, comedic inspirations, his music inspirations.
He became a kiss fan at five years old.
Who gives a shit who gives a fuck?
By five years old is the average age someone becomes a kid's
They drop off at nine. Yeah
Sevens the other Jamie grow up out of that this kiss army thing is ridiculous. Yeah
It's like Russia like you turned seven like hey this wrestling is pretty cool
You watch for six months you're like oh boy. This is fucking retard. Shots fired against video polina. Wow
Controversial episode today, everybody.
Watch out.
So again, I'm gonna bring it back to the experience
I'm being on the Howard Stern show.
He doesn't understand what makes the compelling interview.
We found out he was a kiss fan when he was five.
I'm not gonna pay for that content.
That sounds terrible to me.
And it's Hale Sparks. This isn't Madonna.
I'm like, oh, Donald likes kids. I have no idea. No.
Tale Sparks. I don't know why I said Madonna.
I guess I'm a boomer.
She was popular.
Well, even if she did, who gives a fuck?
No one wants to hear that kind of shit.
All right.
All right, so as we all know, Johnson Bragg
about what money he has lately.
Oh, yeah.
By the way, thanks for the three bucks in the chat.
Oh, I should point out Heather W has been born
at my phone over this.
So I'll put out her thing that she wanted everybody to know.
She's surprised people aren't picking up on this.
So he was bragging about how he paid for eight tickets
to the Yankees game on June 19th.
And, you know, $800 out of his own pocket.
Let me look at the text.
Because I guess Heather knows who he's bringing to this Yankees game. She's Let me look at the text because I guess Heather knows
who he's bringing to this Yankees game.
She's got the whole list of people,
I guess he was talking about this.
He is bringing his mom, his sister,
his brother-in-law, himself, of course.
Michael Pupak, a high school friend
and two guys from the pub.
Yeah!
Okay, that's the list.
Heather points out that Sunday is Father's Day.
And John is not bringing any of his kids.
Yeah, there you go.
Which is a little, you know, I don't care personally,
the kids are older, it's fine, but she wanted to point that out
because he does bring up how his father of the year
fucking nonstop, what a great daddy is.
Although it's always good like when someone treats you
to a to a gamer to van or something,
and then they keep holding it over your head
I'm like I'm right now
Remember I bought you that ticket. I was $112 you remember you remember
Yeah, that's why he's buying the airfare for the guys from the pub who are going to the game. Yeah, it's a lot of fun
Oh, all right, so John's going car shopping and he's really excited about you
He talked about this a couple weeks ago. I'm gonna have a new car. I'm on going on and on about this. Yep. Yep
So still hasn't gotten the car, but let's enter into the world of car shop because I want to ask him about this a couple weeks ago. I'm gonna have a new car. I'm on. Yeah, so still hasn't gotten the car.
But let's enter into the world of car shop
because I want to ask him about this.
And first I went to Tesla as a suggestion
from Kinky Streets.
And I have to set up an appointment for a test drive
which I'm doing tomorrow.
The only thing is you got to plug those things
in every 300 miles.
Oh shit. But they are good cars. Well that's that. Oh, he paused the road. Like that is
funny because this fucking idiot lives in the apartment complex. He can't plug his car
in. So a Tesla is like you can't own a Tesla if you're suffering job. No. So yeah, I guess
that's out the window. Why did you go to the dealership? Oh because there's a spanky bags 37
Sad they're pretty good cars
Fuck fuck fuck
No, he has a charge a car
I don't even like this is news everybody but you know I guess they run on electric or something
I who does not you know car on my cell phones great. I love it, but it runs on electricity. I don't know what to do.
And I went to Ford, this to Ford out here.
And guess what? They only had two brand new Ford Mustangs and guess what colors? White.
And guess what colors? White.
I've been driving around in a white Mustang for the last five years. Before that, I had a white freaking Toyota Corolla that I gave to my daughter.
I don't want another white car.
Then I went to Chevrolet to buy a Camaro.
They didn't have any available.
All right, so this is a guy who has zero preference
over what type of car he buys.
I've never met someone when their car shut me down.
They're like, maybe I'll get a Camaro,
maybe I'll get a Tesla, maybe I'll get,
and the thing that deterred him was the color of the car.
Why can't buy that?
It's white, I don't know.
So also, I live in a smaller city than LA.
There's more than one four dealership where I live.
There's multiple four dealerships.
And he's looking for a Mustang. Yeah, we're not and one doesn't have one you could go somewhere else
Well, it's great to hear that John supporting black cars so
Wait, what?
Stupid black business, but they can't all be winners
I'm just confused. I just confused. I know it's a long show
Winners. I just confused.
I just confused.
I know.
It's a long show.
So then he says he went to the Chevrolet dealership and they were all out of Camaro.
So I just did a quick search on the internet.
I found a downtown LA Chevrolet dealership with seven Camaro's on their lot, brand new,
ready to go.
This wouldn't be difficult to figure out if you wanted to.
Look, Carl, you're acting like anybody could just search the internet.
You know, silly me.
When I want a car, I just start driving aimlessly
to dealerships and ask them what they got.
So then he decides, and this is really the kicker
to all of this because he's going for some range here.
When I was looking at these Camaros,
you can go up $50,000 for these cars,
you know, when they get souped up a little bit. So then he says, well, maybe I'll do this.
Then I went to Toyota. I said, you know what? I'll get another Corolla. I don't care. I love Corollas.
They're dependable. They hold up in value and
Couldn't even find one. Yes. Again, I did a search. They have Cor Corolla's in LA and I love that he's gone from I'm either going to get a Tesla, a
Sports car or a shitty sedan. That's like anyone's first car that they would get
Yeah, well, I mean this this whole thing of he's been big time in for weeks
I've been test driving this. Yeah, I mean it's right. It's too small for he's gonna come home with some used
$3,000 piece of shit that barely fucking runs, you know what I mean?
This is all performative.
I don't know what the fuck is dealas with this.
It's so weird.
I love that John is without a nut here.
He doesn't have a guest.
He's trying to figure out content.
Yeah.
And someone brings up aliens
and the UFO sightings that are going on.
And John, I didn't pull out of this,
but he goes deep on this.
He talks about it for a while.
You know, I know it's going to be hard to wrap your head around this, but this is,
this is true.
So wrap your head around it just for a second.
When you look at our inventions, right?
They go like this.
So you go from the light bulb to the airplane, you know, the automobile.
It's all a very slow trajectory to telephone. Everything is very slow. It's a small, small
gradation. Not a great example of a light bulb to the airplane. It's really slow. It's
progress that we have. Guess what? It's really slow and it's progress that we have. Guess what, his- At the least.
At the premises for all of us.
The computer chip is alien technology.
Oh, give it.
Oh, great.
Oh, god damn it.
You fucking ass.
Dude, that was the one thing we developed on the 20th century.
We got all the schematics.
You can go through the whole century.
I know.
I mean, I work at a gas station.
What do I?
No, he's convinced that it wasn't until Roswell
that all of a sudden we understood how computers might work
And we started building machines like a compute things. That was what 48. Yeah, do we already 47?
I just wanted to play that for Groge and this one I had to play for Ganzo. If Ganzo's still hanging out with us,
Ganzo Shitcock, who is a fan of this humble brag
that John has, you know, he's been playing the stock market
because he's got so much money now.
Great.
And he's making a killing.
Stuttering John is back when it comes to the stock market.
Now, what's gonna come back after COVID?
COVID is people are getting all,
everyone's getting vaccinated, right?
So,
so what happens?
Startling, John goes on his stock account,
gets on the board!
Fires a shitload of AMC movie theaters.
BYE! Fires a shitload of AMC movie theaters.
And I bought it at $9 a share.
You know what it's at today, Peeps?
30.
That's right.
30.
So this guy's pretending that it's because he's so brilliant,
he could see the future.
AMC is literally called a meme stock.
Yeah.
This is because of redditors running up the price on purpose.
This has been well-documented,
it's been in the news for months and months
and they're doing it again.
And John's like, I got the stock market off,
and he doesn't even acknowledge the fact
that this is one of the few stocks
that have just like increased ridiculous amounts that are not are not sustainable and I hope he's selling I hope this guy's selling right now
Because they're gonna get totally fucked AMC is fuck that they're fucking worse than GameStop
It's the same thing. Yeah stock inflation it. Yeah, but movie theaters are a thing in a pack
Well, so it's game stop. Yeah, no shit
All right, so then he's bitching the entire show about this guest who didn't show up
Major Richard O'Hada who comes on his show all the fucking time gives John so much content
There's so much time for him so we can get his super chats
Yeah, and he is such a prick that he goes I guess he's not showing up and then he lists all of the other people who turned him down
Which is funny well he is
late, I don't know why I
Reached out to a number of people and RuPaul couldn't do it Justin Harowitz from
Really American couldn't do it Greg Oliya couldn't do it Zeb should love couldn't do it and
and do it. Greg Oliya couldn't do it. Zeb, Shalev couldn't do it. And uh, give it up for all the people who couldn't do it. I can't, I can't keep on waiting for the
army mage here. Why the fuck wouldn't you just be like, oh, I asked Tom Cruise, he couldn't
do it. I have a right. George Clooney was busy, but he'll be here next week. He's like,
I asked Brad from shitty saga the week. He. I asked my kids. And then he explains that this is the guests fault.
Not hits.
Because he has to make sure that he lets everybody know that he's not the one who screwed up.
Yep, 715 EST.
I'll be there and he's not here.
So he must have screwed something up, but he's not here.
Okay. There's no EST. You're already screwed up. That's true. It is EdT at this
time, but whatever. I love that. This is you out so much. You've gotten me to
stop writing the S or the D. I just put the E T now. Just put down the
fucking time where you are. So anyway, John, because he does screw up time zones a lot,
has to go back and check his messages and he goes,
yeah, yeah, he confirmed he was supposed to be on,
and he continues to pitch about a guy who's friends with,
and he does shows with all the time,
just throwing him out of the bus.
Army Major, you're shabbed to me today.
I love you though.
I don't know what happened, but you're not here. And I don't
know what happened. Any other questions? Somebody in the chat, one of the trolls goes,
oh he's over on the Midas Touch Brothers show, right? Now just watch. He's doing fine show.
He gets up and stuff. So this guy finally comes on the show at the very end of the show.
Major Hayda comes on and John has to make him feel bad in the introduction.
He can't be like, oh, I'm so glad you're able to come on for at least a little bit.
Great to have you for some time. No, he says this.
I'm major man. You let me down, brother.
No, man, that's it. I tell you, man, this is what life is like when you live in West Virginia.
When connectivity is absolute garbage.
No, it's all right, man. I was just like, you know, I was just like, oh crap.
I, you know, I wanted to, somebody said that you were wrong with the smartest touch brothers.
No, no, I'm not, I'm not, not any time.
Last time I saw them was on your show.
All right. So then people would just freaking screw what me as usual
He never let us in! I love this guy
He's calling this guy out his friend. Oh, he's fucking doing their show at that then he gets him out
He's like, dude, what the fuck with your problem the guys like it's so frustrating
And I know this because obviously Brandon your buddy red lives in West Virginia
Yes, I've been on shows with you and red where the same thing happened to him where he just lost
internet and he gets so frustrated.
Yeah, West Virginia is fucking terrible for their internet.
So this guy is frustrated himself.
He gets on the show and just like what the fuck?
Yeah, it's wrong we fucking be over mad at him, it's a problem.
So ridiculous.
So he's only on for a short time, but he goes off on a rant. And while this
is Major O'Hada, and while he's ranting about whatever the fuck he's ranting about, his
phone starts going off, and it's quite hilarious. A medical person was providing first aid
to this 13 year old kid that was an ISIS guy, and this guy walked over, and he cut the guys
start stabbing him in the damn throat and killed him. That right there alone is absolute should be, should be, he should have never been pardoned,
should have never gotten out of prison. I'm gonna say the timing was perfect for that.
I didn't sweeten that, I didn't sweeten that one bit. That's amazing. Is that fucking funny?
Anyway, so let me just get serious real quick because I want to say to Stuttering John who's been being a real fucking prick lately
This fucking guy has been so fucking up my ass. I just want to say John if you try to fuck with me
Oh, always fun.
Always a good time.
Alright guys, we've done it all.
Have we ever?
Have we ever?
That means it's time for everybody's favorite part of the show.
The tea.
The tea.
The tea.
The tea. The tea. The tea. The tea. The tea. favorite part of the show. This is the part of the show where we play a clip from a podcast
that we'll be reviewing on next week's W A T P and I do have to admit something real
quick. It might not be a podcast per se, but I think it's, I think it's time.
Hey, you know who's getting quite famous?
Who? J D.
Uh, uh, uh, how's that?
Tell, tell Robin what happened to you.
What? Uh, I don't know what the fuck we're talking about.
Uh, when I went to a restaurant a couple of weekends ago, the chef recognized me and, you
know, what do you mean you don't know?
You know what happened.
Jay, what do you mean?
What do you mean?
Tell Rob and tell about your thing.
Like, appetizer thing or whatever and some drinks got calmed and what.
It was very nice. Very efficient what not is very nice very efficient very
uh very nice guy a guy at a radio show got comped drinks
in an appetizer and that's the captain of the Howard
Stern show everybody. This is what we're talking about for a
whole segment of the show. How the mighty have fallen. So I
want to because I like I've been saying I don't really
listen to Stern anymore. So I wanted to take a look at what's
going on
in his show, the current iteration,
and we're gonna have my friends,
the revenge of the cis guy's immersion voice on the show,
once again, to break down all things Howard Stern.
I believe all three of us were big fans
at some point in our lives.
So it'll be interesting to get their take on,
what's going on currently with our friend Howard over there?
Mm, mm, mm, good times. Yeah. All right. Brandon, I want to thank you so much for coming on the show.
Of course, Shitty Song of the Week. Oh my God, I should have mentioned this at the top.
I just recorded an episode with Brandon and that is out now. And we had the topic of 80s hip hop.
We're song 80s hip hop. worst song, 80s hip hop.
And I gotta tell you man,
I was impressed by my analysis of parents' story to stand.
I think I really broke it down
in a way that people will clearly see
it's the worst song of the 80s.
You know, it's funny because I told a bunch of people
that you brought that song to show
and everyone's like,
what are you talking about?
It's a great song.
And then I broke it down the way that you did
and people, they're turning around on it. It's a shitty song. And then I broke it down the way that you did and they're turning around on it.
It's a shitty song.
And I don't even want to give away the kicker
that is a spoil around it because there's some shit
there that I went and listened to it again
for the first time in a long time.
I was like, whoa, this would never fly in 2021.
It's crazy what we need to wrap about the 80s.
It's like it was fun.
This was a song that was geared towards children.
Yeah. It was a song written for kids
Barrett's just understand and it's ridiculous
But anyway, yeah, that was a lot of fun and people should check that out and anything else that you want to promote my friend
Yeah, like you said you know check out the new episodes come out every Friday join us on patreon over at patreon.com slash
Sotw just a dollar a month for bonus content every single month.
And while I have the opportunity, Carl,
I'm just gonna throw it out there
because I know he's listening to the show.
I wanna extend it in,
invite the Brian Johnson to come on
and shed on some terrible music with me.
So, you know, if you're interested,
have your people reach out to my people
and we'll be the whole thing from there.
Yes, all right, the great Brian Johnson,
when he's not talking about Hell's Bells. I'm sure he'll be happy to
Come on the show with you
Fuck yeah, Kroge. Thank you so much for coming on the show. Thank you for having anything that you would like to promote listen
There's it's on a brand new music from the isotopes. It's out there wherever your stream and shit
Go listen to it because it's all fucking amazing
And while you're doing that get over to the isotopes.com's out there wherever your stream and shit go listen to it because it's all fucking amazing. And while you're doing that, get over to the isotopes.com, take a listen to my new show.
Here is a sneak preview of this week's episode of Behind the Smile Talk.
A big campaign event for a new Mexico sheriff who's running for mayor of Elbacurky abruptly
descended into chaos Tuesday night when a drone buzzed into view with a dildo dangling
down beneath it.
The owner turned out to be a producer, producer Chris who opposed the sheriff and who was later charged with battery.
That wasn't an amazing story by the way.
Scanless.
And I'll be on the subreddit later, my name is the REAL Scotty Fuck Fuck.
Alright.
Well guys, thank you so much for coming on.
Please join us again next week. It might be the episode where we refine that once it for all who are these podcasts sleep well every pony
Okay great show good job everybody great job everyone. Oh, I don't even have a sound for that in the video.
You know, who are these? Podcasts. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't get it.
Makes no sense.
Carl Hamburger, 1488, asks, is this where we come to complain about the show?
Patty Broke in Dick writes,
The past few episodes have been great.
I'm so proud of Mr. Hamburger for finally finding the winning formula of one or two
regulars as co-hosts and keeping the other guests to individual segments.
He's learning, Cameron WV.
All shows that talk about TV shows like this are stupid, be it ones where nobody's talk
about the show, or ones where the actors do.
Turbo 7049 didn't listen to it yet, but I'm just as sure it's the best episode in a long
time as I'm sure Vic's sucked.
And he's on.
It'll be a good show.
Kroger fan 1.
Non-stop truck stop tranny talk.
Next grotto.
The concept of review girls seems like some shit WATP would make fun of.
Kroger fan 1.
Only Vic.
Casey is the goat.
Turbo 7049.
We do make fun of the review girls.
Mr. The Loaf, I'm pretty sure Trey Peacock is retarded, and that just makes everything
seem a bit cruel.
Corgan Art weighs in, Trey Peacock is definitely retarded.
While it feels wrong of me to insult him, I definitely enjoy hearing Patrick Michael
get angry at him for being retarded.
Over Frosted says,
Tray Peacock's punchline lacking jokes were the best part of this episode.
I laughed way too hard, reality stimulator.
Patty and his crew do not sound like mental patients.
They just sound like talentless idiots.
I did laugh at one of the bad power ranger jokes though.
Flat, t-t-posts.
My theory is that Patrick Michael is only using Trey Peacock
to make himself look better.
Too bad it's backfiring.
Semi-hat ponders has anyone typed up
a transcript of this episode for the death
and charades of Shagrin responds with his vision
of sudden transcript in Trollplays.
Carl, welcome back slappers and cusseros
to who are these podcasts.
Goat, let's talk some shit. Carliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii getting railed by her commanding officer, out true play. I'm a calm salesman.
Casey.
Hello.
We missed you.
Welcome back to the show.
I'm so glad to be back.
Oh, look at that.
Look at all that enthusiasm.
See, people say she has no energy,
and then she's a heroin addict.
And these things are true, but we appreciate
they're able to wake up
and mid-afternoon. She woke up mid-afternoon. Yeah.
To read some reviews, what do you got for us today?
I'm got only one of them is a one-star review, so that's pretty exciting.
All right. There we go.
Thanks, Carl, by BBCuck. I was binging all of the old episodes of WATP I missed with my wife and our bull.
Things were going great until we got to the Venus Cuckolder's episode. Let's just say he started
seeing red when he heard what it was about. Now my chastity cage is staying on for another month.
Thanks Carl. That's a good review. I appreciate that. Five stars. Yeah,
fuck yeah, dude. All right. Next one. So confusing by quarantine mom podcast. So this is a podcast
to make fun of other podcasts. Podcasts that talk about other podcasts, that's like that Joe Rogan podcast, that's literally Joe Rogan podcast.
I don't understand the point of this podcast.
Their fake laughter is so annoying.
In one episode about true crime obsessed, it's solidified.
Well, we're going to have an example.
The host of TCO mentions an eclipse about seeing another image of Richard Nixon and the host
of this podcast's left and joked and say, how many pictures of Richard Nixon are you?
If you actually knew what their podcast is about, it's about reviewing true crime documentaries.
If I have to explain why Richard thinks several true crime documentaries and some deal with cough drugs cough then your
hosts are truly idiots I think I picked out that one I I'm sorry I passed out
that was a one-star review someone wrote that much copy
So Casey we're having a little issue with your internet and I don't know what you're not talking to her to the microphone or if it's You hear me I can hear you but you were kind of fading in and out a little bit. I
Don't know what that's all about
You didn't miss anything. Do you still hear me? I can hear you fine. Are you in West Virginia by any chance?
I'm in the Virginia, Florida.
Someone tells me I'm missing Joe Slefton right tonight.
Don't worry, I get them the next day when I add up the show.
All right.
What else you got?
All right.
I am in love with Vic by Donald J. Trump, 69.
Don't tell me.
I'm going to be a little bit more. Always sent me back that 45th president. Donald J. Trump 69. Don't tell Melania but Vic is my dream girl. Carl should be fired.
Show his average support. All right that's a good one. Like it. Short and sweet. Yeah. All right. Next one. Kaya by I really skate. I love Kaya. And I love this
podcast. It's funny. And yes, I'm female, winky face, jerk, and a boring office ladies
all day. And this podcast has me laughing to myself constantly. They're saying, when
everyone else is afraid to talk about. I love it.
That's right. We talk about it.
We talk about it.
Everyone else is afraid to talk about it.
Everyone else is afraid to say that Stuttering John is an idiot.
Nothing is off limits.
Nothing is off limits.
We're just like heroes. We would just run into a burning thing.
It's no different than a police officer risking his life every day to fight crime. It's just what heroes do
This is what we do. We're just like Lenny Bruce or George Carlin, you know
We're just paving the way for future generations. It's our duty. Yeah, you know, it's all
We're gonna crawl so that you can fly
The show's hilarious. We're just inviting the light bulb of the airplane. Yeah, you know
Anything else or run in the long today Casey. I'm gonna rush things along. Okay
Exactly only listen to the show for Casey B. I'm a sim
Patrick might be pretty goofy too. I guess
All right, that sounds like it's an internet connectivity shit. Let's go on. Can you read that one again but compliment me more?
And the police department.
Alright, we're going to fly through voicemails.
This one's a pretty funny Andy impression.
Or maybe it is Andy, who knows?
Hey, what's going on?
It's Andy.
Hey, what's going on?
It's Andy.
Hey, what's going on?
It's Andy.
Hey, what's going on?
It's Andy.
Hey, what's going on? It's Andy. Hey, what's going on? It's Andy. He knew it was so freaking crazy. I thought it was packing tiny.
Carl, Annie's annoying as shit.
I can't stand that guy.
Fuckin', I don't know what kind of hillbilly
fucking upside-down sound that is,
but Jesus Christ, Annie.
Check the fact that he's fucking annoying.
Anyway, that's what I had to say.
Thank you, Carl.
I love you. Oh wow, man. Oh wow. Anyway
So are you always gave me a fucking aneurysm how dare you sir? at the spot on and he's from New Jersey by the way, I guess you're wondering where that accident comes around
You know those hillbilly's from New Jersey
hillbilly's from New Jersey that's pretty good
carol's sion forest i got a hot take for you
the reason why patty broken skull has been doing so many shows with tray
peacock
is because he wanted to get somebody who's actually more retarded than him
as kind of like
uh... but the flot you know like a shield
so people don't realize how dumb he actually is did you notice that
uh... during that
part where Trey Peacock was plugging his show that they had the crickets playing? I don't
think that was an accidental firing of the button. I think he's just trying to throw
Trey Peacock on the bus as the dumbest person on the show so that people think he's smart.
You know what I'm saying? Call me back.
Well you think he's smart because you think he's smart of you know what I mean? Only back. Well, you think he's smart, because you think he's smart
to figure that out.
So it's working, you know, it's not working, I guess.
See, I think that Patty Seacups is trying to seduce
Tray Peacock and convince him to come out and murder his wife and kids
so that they can run away together.
So they can come in his mouth.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh God, I mean, the gay joke thing, I wasn't going to play any
of them, but that was the thing that Dick focused it on you guys at the clips. Just so bizarre.
It's it was a good percentage of the episode. It was. It should not be talked about. It's
true. It's a good point. All right. Hey, someone's got a message for you, Kroge. Oh, good.
Hey, man, my name is Mark David Treman. I'm just in town from Hawaii coming
through to New York. Got a message for crows. I'm just getting a little fed up with crows
here's lifestyle and his politics. Crows just kind of pissing me off. You know especially
when he sits up and says that he thinks W-A-T-P is more powerful than Jesus.
Yeah.
It's just really rousing the fuckin' wrong way.
That was a mistake.
So I'm gonna have to come and see Crows.
Oh.
Anyway, Carl, I got a book recommendation.
Trick or Ketra, no, or I will, you're at it.
Would you?
I'm gonna see P-W-A-T-P Crows.
I'm coming for your man later.
This is why I like Casey Casey because she gets these references.
Yeah. Yeah. Do you think that was really him?
I love it. That'd be pretty cool.
We have a lot of celebrities that listen to the show.
It's very possible.
I'm not going to give a challenge.
It's an important celebrity that listens to the show.
I'd put them up there with E-Rock.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the best.
All right.
Uh, crippled Jesus.
Call on into the show.
See, Jake?
Hey, Carl.
Uh, it's the C.J. here.
I've finally got my ticket to Chicago.
Nice.
I can't wait to finally smoke crack with you, buddy.
Same here.
I got two tickets in the front row.
I want to take this time to plug my podcast Patreon
because it is imperative to me that I become the top owner of Clip of the Repo down Patreon
and I'd be down to start an exam. So our Patreon is WGA SHIT Show Patreon.com slash WGA SHITSHOW. Patreon.com slash WGA SHITSHOW. Me and my buddy Adam from Houston
make fun of the news. Settling down turned this Patreon off, but before that we were about
40 bucks away from them. Again, it is the most important thing that I make more money than
steadily than on Patreon. And I think we can make it happen, Carol. I can't wait for
smoke crack with you, buddy.
Maybe.
God, that was longer than a my bookie read. That was some promotion. PatreonDread.com slash WGA Shit Show.
Support our friend C.J.
We look forward to seeing him in Chicago.
W-A-T-P live.com is where you get tickets.
And you can see us in Chicago and C.J.
Are you gonna be recording that show at all?
Oh, yeah, it's gonna be an episode.
It's gonna be a regular episode.
Fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah, dude.
Do it right.
It'll just be Carl looking for a button on the YouTube page for about 20 minutes
And then I'm gonna bring out dick masters in for like three minutes at the end. Oh, we're all out of time
All right, thanks for coming. I appreciate you making the trip make sure you guilt him for coming on to did
Did you know that I didn't know this but Tucker Dixon has a beef with Andy?
Hey Carl Tucker Dixon, I'm not really sure who that person you had on last week. I'm a used person
because I didn't know if it was a man or a woman. I think it was Angie or something.
And she said she's trying to fuck me or fight me. Sure, whatever. We can have a little fisting.
I mean, fist fight, whatever.
I'm a giant man who's really strong.
And if you're actually big and strong,
I'm actually a small weak man.
Please don't hurt me.
I'm sorry, Andy.
You are what's a good term for a second place, goat.
A lot longer than a lot more bud.
Love you. Smooch is. Talk her out. I guess I forgot. What's a good term for a second place goat a lot more good a lot my bud love you
Smooches tuck her out. I guess I forgot
I'm like everyone else I tune out during the section of the show So I don't know if Andy had words for Tucker or what was going on there. I was like a budding romance
Uh, this is a message for crippled Jesus a
Carle considering coming out to the live event outside Chicago, I'm from Detroit,
but I'll set you didn't pick us, but I understand with the restrictions.
But you had mentioned that crippled Jesus is from Detroit a few days ago, and I didn't realize
that, so I was thinking if you can put us in touch together that I'd like to ride with him if he can bring his
handicap placard because I know how hard parking is in Chicago. I think it might be a win-win.
I got a F-150 with that bed cover so I figure slide that dude right in the back about four hours
in my place. It should be too bad for him. But I don't know if you talked to him,
he found my throat out there.
Thanks, Carl.
See ya.
You don't even need the cover, he's not gonna get away.
Yeah.
That's fine.
Time to chair.
All right, well, that's out there.
Hey, Brandon, this one's for you, buddy.
I don't kiddin'.
Yeah, believe it or not.
Fucking think, fuck! God fucking damn it or not. Fucking thing sucks.
God fucking damn it dude.
Talk to your little brother about how I'm shitty saw the week.
Every fucking episode he starts with I'm a host.
I'm a host branded.
Dude you are the host.
Red is even on every episode and just say
Like I'm your host or I've never heard I am a host except for this show
I hear every fucking time
Try to be does Fred it be better to fuck yourself calling that I
Do it. I'm hoping I was hoping for that kind of reaction. Thank you. I
Mean you could call into Brandon show if you have a problem with Brandon. I don't know why you're calling into my show, sir. I do have a voicemail 9103701604.
This guy has a fucking memorized. Yeah. Wow. Impressive. Very impressive. I've
said it a couple times, so it sticks. It's like 10 numbers.
I don't know anyone's phone number.
I had to write down my wife's phone number on a form yesterday.
And I showed it to her. She goes, that's not it.
I was close.
Get wrong.
Right in my defiance.
I was close.
Oh, is that my girlfriend's number?
Fuck it.
Wait, did you get that text last night?
Damn it.
Hey, Carl.
I heard that, uh,
shit.
Oh, sorry.
Whoops.
Miss fire.
It's my favorite.
Bill.
I love when people bail out it.
Yeah, Carl, listen to Tom Towne and who the stop is going to be
up in Rochester.
Maybe you should try to get him on the show.
People might actually listen to it for once.
Not a bad idea.
I am going to that show with Stavros.
How close.
How do you pronounce his last name?
How close.
Yeah, that sounds right.
Yeah, I think that's right.
Yeah.
Yeah, I wonder if I could get him on the show.
I should reach out to him. see what he's up to.
Be me bored, but when are you gonna do in Rochester all day?
Come on WOTP.
Call him Mr. Creep off.
Actually, what I should do, all right.
I'm gonna cut this, I'm gonna cut this out of the show.
So don't tell anyone.
Okay, whisper it.
I'm gonna pretend that he's here in the basement,
but I'm just gonna have him laughing on the soundboard.
And no one will know the difference.
Not even us.
Not even us.
Alright.
Hey, Carl. This is Alex from Ohio.
I was just catching up on old W or rather new WAT episode.
And it's kind of mind-blowing just how much Patrick Michael reminds me of Chip. He has such confidence in everything he says.
He really thought he was roasting you the other week.
I mean, that's pretty much all I got.
Fuck.
This guy knows how to do it.
This is Alex again.
I actually lied when I said I didn't have anything else.
I just
I've never made a call like this before and I lost my nerve partway through
uh... it's the only other thing I wanted that was that
that Patrick Michael uh... the only thing you
fuck it
it's okay it happens to everyone
all right this is the last one I just I just going to bash through with what I got to say.
The only thing that Patrick Michael is missing from being Chip is having a black guy.
Fuck his mom going at the end of every sentence.
It made me wonder if he genuinely watches the Chip Chipper's in Show and thinks that Chip is a
comedian after how upset he got that you were on it.
The other thing is I don't think it should really surprise anyone that Iraq had another
baby.
I mean any woman looks like she's not pregnant.
The forced perspective next to Iraq.
Anyway, please don't call me back and talk to you later.
Listen, I'm not planning on getting married for a second time, but if I do, will you be the best man?
I bought this guy not only giving a speech, but writing that speech. This would, that would be amazing.
Like, dude, take your time. I got 45 minutes carved out for you to do this speech.
Hey, Carl, it's a long-cracked guy. I still hate your show. I still listen every week.
We even a patreon. But uh, just want to let you know I just f**k to the song Helmets and Velcro.
I finished before the vocals started. I was talking about that. And I was like, oh my god. a I really don't give a fuck. It's not a long intro on that song. All right, people are getting angsy.
This is the last voice now and then we're out of here.
Carl, I just listened to the new briefcase.
It was fucking awesome.
But I got a warning man.
You need to back off.
You've done it before, but you're becoming dangerously close
to Christian and you will break him.
And it won't be fun anymore.
All right, keep fucking with him. Just take it won't be fun anymore. All right.
Keep fucking with him. Just take a break once in a while.
All right.
Comment that I think that's genuine concern.
Yeah.
That's the person with genuine concern for Patrick Michael's well being.
Yeah.
That's where you get on this show and not no other show.
And you know, and I've made this joke before I would quit you if I could Patrick Michael.
If I could, I would walk away right now, but I can't I can't stay away from you
I can't wait for the next briefcase. I'm gonna check my phone right after we're done
See if it's loaded Casey. Thank you so much for coming on. What's up? Let's do the phone thing next time. That seemed to work better
Okay, I think I might need these headphones. They're not the ones I normally use. I couldn't find my good ones. These are kind of shitty
Might be that phone from 5 below.
Very good.
Oh right, then.
Guys, thanks so much for hanging out everybody.
I gotta go, goodbye.
Goodbye.