Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep275 - Nope! We're Not Monogamous
Episode Date: September 5, 2021This week it's all about fat people having sex with multiple partners. Aren't you glad it's audio-only now? Cros and Andy join the show to discuss gross people celebrating themselves, Patrick Micha...el's multiple personalities, Stuttering John's understanding of medicine, and Opie's inability to solve his own problems. Then Vinnie calls in with his recap of last weekend in Chicago and our escapades at the White Sox game. I've been a Cubs fan my whole life but I might switch to the White Sox now. Check out our newest sponsor: partners.nucalm.com/karl  Support us and get bonus episodes: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hello rubber Dixon cousin ruse welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts,
the only show that checks their watch at extremely inappropriate times.
I'm your host, Carl Hamburger, with me this week, a man who is rumored to have hooked up
with Brenda from San Diego at the live show It's Crows!
Hello!
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This week also we encourage our listeners
to give us a five-star review on Apple Podcast
and shit all over us in the comment section.
Today we'll be reviewing a show called Nope, we're not monogamous. This
is a suggestion sent in by a person who will not be named because this person is friends
with the host, Alicia. Alicia has friends. We have all listened to this separately. We
have not discussed with each other before him. Let's get into it. The show hosted by Alicia
Payne. There was a specific episode that I think we checked out
where the guest was Christa Kathleen author
of Beyond the White Picket fence.
And I'll just start off by saying,
I hate people who think they're interesting
because of who and how they fuck.
And that's what describes these people on this show.
Yeah.
It's what brings them all of their personality
and anything that they wanna talk about is only about who and how they fuck. And it's really annoying
just the very beginning of the show. Hey, I'm Alicia, you're non-monogamous relationship
coach. Welcome to the podcast where my friends and I chat about our relationships, enthusiastic non-monogamy, polyamory, swinging,
chink, and our lives.
Enthusiastic non-monogamy.
Yeah.
What I heard that I thought is you chewed your partner and then rubbed their face in it.
Is that what that means?
Yes.
It is pretty much, right?
I hate it when people, your name is Alicia and you make me call you Alicia.
Oh, that's your problem.
Yes. I strike one fair enough.
I keyed in on that PBS sounding music bed.
Yeah.
And we're talking about sex.
It didn't fit in.
Yeah.
It's not horny at all.
Anytime there's whistling involved, that's a bad time.
That's what I've known.
Good point.
All right.
What do you guys have as far as clips of the show for you?
Groge. Yeah. you know, I had that
intro that you just played. And the episode I listened to, she
interviews her husband, Rob. I listen to that. He's just a
fascinating guy. I mean, what a what a knockout personality. But
my number two is his introduction. Also, the questions that
people have asked us over the course of our relationship about
us, about our partners, about what happens in our bedroom,
about how our family deals with it all. So welcome, Rob. Hi, I'm Rob. Her laugh just
or his, her Dr. Hibbert laugh. Yes, and it's unrelenting. It's anything he says is like, hey, I took out the trash last night.
Oh, what's anything he says?
It's anything her guess says.
It's anything she says.
It's omnipresent.
It's actually, I picked up on a pattern.
She giggles when she talks about what a slut she is.
Which is interesting because that's her identity
as a person.
Yeah.
And yet she thinks it's funny.
So there's some kind of dissonance going on right there.
Here's an example.
But I mean, I was a slut from a really early age. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh She laughs at this, she's talking to that Christa girl. Yeah. And both of them are just slots and they love it.
They're really excited about it.
But they do have a rule about first dates.
I have the same rule.
I don't know sex on the first date
because I don't want to get decmatized.
And.
All right.
When you invent words to describe your lifestyle,
I hate you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She doesn't want to get decmatized.
So they play hard to get. Oh yeah, I'm sure they're really hard to get hate you. Yeah. She doesn't want to get digmatized, so they play hard to get.
Oh yeah, I'm sure they're really hard to get these two.
Yeah.
Very difficult.
I don't fuck on the first day.
What's the point of being a swinger then?
Right.
I can just be married and not get laid.
I want to get to know these people first.
Why?
You're not much of a slut if you don't, right?
That's a terrible idea.
I'm just going to be a stupid idea.
Here's the last example I have of this.
Again, every time she describes herself, she giggles.
I'm just gonna be a slut forever
and just be honest about it
because that feels like the right thing to do.
Ha ha ha.
Hey guys, I have fucked up teeth.
Ha ha ha ha.
What's the joke?
It is pretty funny.
All right, Andy.
I get it.
But my clip one, her guest,
Krista, is a life coach and author, but I'm, I question what qualifies this woman to be a life
coach? And Krista's been coaching online. She's been coaching women since 2016 after she got fired
from her full-time nursing career and divorced all in the same week that had to be hard.
Yeah, and after that, she left the country.
She ran away from her problems.
So she's a fuck up, she's a mess.
Now she's a single mom.
She's a disaster and she's like,
oh, but I'm also a life coach.
Yeah, I'm gonna give you advice.
Hey, I guess, you know, we all can't
graduate at the top of our class.
There's gotta be deep less life coaches out there too, right? Well, the worst part is is that she's training other
life coaches. And she plans to open her own life coach certification in the fall of this year
and has a goal to train and mentor at least a thousand life coaches in the next 10 years.
Can we all agree this woman's doing more damage to females
than Trump could do in four terms?
This woman's teaching women how to live their lives?
She's a disaster.
She's training women, how to train women,
how to sleep with everyone,
and have no responsibility in life.
Let's quit my job and just wrote a book about being a whore.
I'm waiting to hear the problem, Carl.
Yeah, well, she labels herself a relationship coach,
but knows literally nothing about relationships.
Oh, she's failed at it.
Yeah.
All these women have failed marriages.
Yes, that was the common thread.
That was the common thread.
And now they're experts on relationships.
That's what I learned is that polyamory
is basically just breaking up.
It's a fancy name for your relationship failing.
Well, it's also, and I've talked about this before
because we've done other podcasts
where they talk about polyamory
and I didn't even know this thing existed.
Polyamory, it's like, what do you mean?
It's college.
If this is what everybody does,
they sleep with whoever they want to
and they don't really give a shit
and they're not trying to spare people's feelings
because they're immature. And that's like kind of like how people live their lives until
they grow the fuck up.
Right.
Yeah.
Well, no, when you're young, it's just being.
You know what I mean?
You're right.
You're right.
When you're old, it's poly because that's what you can put in your tender bile.
Yeah.
Oh, they even talk about that.
The way that they met each other, this woman, Alicia and her current husband, Rob was
on okay, Cupid.
And that was one of the boxes that you can check.
Cause I mean, I'm sure you're gonna lot of chicks
when you're like, oh yeah, I'm a poly.
Oh yeah. Oh great.
Go on, I can't wait to get some STIs from you.
That sounds like a lot of fun.
You know, I would love for you to meet my girlfriend
and her boyfriend and his boyfriend.
We go out as a, as a quintuplet
and it's just a fucking riot.
Yeah, let's talk about this Rob guy
and this relationship they have because,
so Rob and Alicia are married and they live with Selena.
Yes.
Who is both of theirs, other partner.
Yes, but she also has a partner outside of it.
It's a fucking mess.
It's a shaky foundation with a house of cards.
Yes. There's an earthquake going on. Yeah, let's talk about it. Like the in the early stages of their relationship,
my number 13 is like one of the early challenges they face.
You were willing to walk through all the hard stuff when you walked into my house and I was laying on my couch
getting a tattoo from a tattoo artist that happened to be a woman who brought her girlfriend and
my partner was with me, with her partner, who also happened to be a woman. So I'm laying on
my ottoman getting a tattoo with, you know, four other women there and you walk into my house
and your eyes went super wide and we had a lot of conversations following that whole experience
and that weekend in general.
And none of that makes sense to me.
So you walked in.
I was going to tattoo the tattoo artist partner, but then her partner and then her partner's
partner. And then the partner of that partner, it's actually a parallel line with the diagonal
over to this other partner like, that was their first date.
You're getting a tattoo.
Dude, I've been to a bunch of tattoo shops.
Yeah.
I don't even know if the tattoo artist there were gay, straight, single, I don't even know.
I have no fucking glue.
It has no bearing on a glass. Not a question I asked when I walked into a tattoo tattoo artist there were gay, straight, single, really, I don't even know. I have no fucking glue. It has no bearing on a
girl. I asked when I walked into a tattoo shop and there were six people there.
I was like, okay, so how many of you are fucking all the other people here?
And in what shape is the pentagram? I'm sure it's because this guy can't
shut up about his sex life. Yeah, but it's not an orgy, my number 14.
Their perception of what our relationship is is not just a giant orgy in our house all the time
It's you know real people living real lives. We just happen to have more than one person sleeping in our bed at once
I love that um can I point out the word giant is appropriate here giant orgy these people are obese
This is the part. This is the part that makes this
being an audio product a good thing.
Cause they're talking about how, yeah, I'm fucking everyone
we're all fucking each other and you're like, okay,
that's pretty hot.
And then you see what they look like.
Oh God, oh, oh, God, guys, please stop fucking.
This is disgusting.
Not sexy.
This is not sexy.
The important part is that his hello kitty,
Tram Stamp came out great
Listen, I'm gonna throw it out there. I'm not a close-minded person, but I am against fat fucking
Yeah, I don't want it to go on. I don't want to know about it if it does happen don't tell me about it
Because I don't got to think about it. It's gross
My clip 18 she kind of breaks down the the triad with this is a family tree of
People fucking. It's not just three people, but she's like, oh, I didn't know you weren't a triad. Let's hear all about it
It's really try to add another partner
Yeah, I did not know you were in a triad. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I um, I
Live with my husband and our girlfriend and her husband also lives with us but we aren't romantically involved with him. I also have another partner that lives with his
three spouses. 30 minutes away. Yeah, and my husband has a couple of partners and
yeah, we've got a big ol' polychule. And we all have corona aids. Carona. I congratulate you. There's 17 variants of it in our house alone.
I thought you can't figure it out.
These people are so gross.
Now they talk a bunch about their introduction to it in the episode I listened to.
My number four is this famous TV show that got us all started.
Because to me, in my mind, having zero experience, I thought it was like polygamy with like
one man and multiple wives.
And the first, you know, exposure many of us got to Polly was that stupid show sister
wives.
Uh-huh.
So toxic and it's played up for, you know, the drama that all, and of course they picked
the worst cases that possibly could find.
Ready.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I love how sing songy and condescending they all are.
And oh, that should have, that was stupid.
But the stuff we do is not stupid.
Yeah, they found the worst possible people.
I mean, I'm listening to them now.
Yeah, I'm talking about it.
We're not stupid for not getting it.
Yeah, yeah.
And my next one, number five is he throws this out. It It's this is like the most condescending thing of all I love it
because
You know, it's tough. It's tough to
Work through all the programming that we have around what we believe society requires of us to have a happy healthy relationship, right?
So this reminds me of a clip that I pulled from that same episode,
where Alicia's pretty much explaining that this is not normal for people,
and they have to be trained to understand how these relationships work.
Having experiences that feel uncomfortable, right?
And then coming back together and going, oh, that didn't break us up or I wasn't abandoned. Like every time that happens, you build up a lot of resiliency and you build up a lot of
trust that what you have is solid. So what she's explaining is similar to how athletes race a
triathlon. Yeah. But it's also how cults work. Yeah. Right? Like you break people down. So their natural instincts no longer work anymore.
Like you're breaking people.
Well, this idea that monogamy are like having
a long-term relationship,
this is just a new thing that was just invented.
You don't see it in animals or caveman or anything.
It's a sciad, yeah.
It's a sciad, yeah.
You invented all this, like, no,
this shit's older than human beings,
but you know, you do you, like, and that's the only human beings but you know you do you like and
that's that's the only thing like if you want to be a fucking weirdo just be a weirdo but don't
be like no I'm normal you're fucked up well no no this whole celebrating how weird you are is
fuck at least podcast hitman got that shit to himself yeah you know I mean to rust like that's
the weirdest thing I swear to god like okay my clip 14 they kind of touch on this a little bit. Okay. When we'll podcast it, that's not big a joke.
It'd never?
You know, really open your mind as to like,
where did this whole monogamy thing come from?
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, how else are you gonna pass on your legacy?
Yeah, it's a fascinating topic
that we could talk about for hours.
Well, yeah, it's almost as if people only used to live
to be 28 years old and they had to fucking make more people
to hold the fucking farm and they needed to fucking have
lives and shit and their kids, they'd have to have 10 kids
cause four of them were gonna die.
And that's how society was built and overprivileged people
didn't have the luxury
of saying, oh, I feel like Wicken of vagina today.
That wasn't getting any crops harvested, okay?
Plus those vaginas were fucking nasty.
No, thank you.
So it sounds like their relationship sucked.
So we're talking about these two people
who are very proud of themselves.
They live with their partner, there's the three of them. And they explain now they've been married for seven years or
something like that. They explain that it wasn't always hunky-dory. Some of our attachment styles are
coming down quite a bit these days. I say that because you know early on, there were, you know, situations where, as you mentioned, we were worried about,
you know, how our partner, you know, you and I were attaching to other people, you know,
what that, what that might mean. Like, is this shiny new person going to be the one that
breaks us up, right? It's subconsciously we're telling ourselves in that situation that we know that there's
somebody out there that's better than us.
And as soon as you find that person, we're going to be abandoned.
And it takes a lot of trust in your partner to know that that isn't true.
It is true.
It's how all of these relationships end.
You're tempting yourself constantly with what we call strange.
You're constantly testing yourself.
You pussy.
And eventually you go, well, this fat pussy over here is annoying.
I think I want to hang out with New Pussy over here for a while.
And that's how these always end.
And this guy's going, yeah, you know, for a long time, we thought that was going to happen
to us.
And it will.
Right.
And it will.
But now we just are over it.
Yeah, can we talk about marriage for a little while because,
Chris, you know what I'm talking about this?
Well, in this first episode, they talk a whole bunch about marriage.
And Rob is really, really bitter about it and you make it the sense in some of these clips
that he doesn't want to be married.
Like, he's already, he was already married.
He lost his kids, he lost his house, he lost the, the court just handed him a pile of
shit, he lost everything he worked for.
He got caught in prison.
He lost his fucking future.
It's just, it's a fucking nightmare for anyone who's tried to build something, not that I
would know, not that I would know.
But anyway, why should people get married?
Number eight.
Okay, so the thing that people have asked me over and over and over,
especially when I'm like dating is well then why did you get married? Like what's the point
of being married if you're gonna fuck and date and fall in love with other people? Lots of reasons.
So many reasons. And you know, I gotta say frankly, I wish those reasons didn't exist.
So why are you going to be with Carl?
Well, I wish he wasn't, but he's a good guitar player.
I wish it wasn't the case.
I have a quick real quick that is related here.
The terms wife and husband are almost meaningless to me at this point.
And it's only because I look at them as legal terms rather than
like a partner's value to me. Correct. They're legal terms. So you guys want to live outside the
orthodoxy. And we're going to do things differently. We're not like societies. And then they go the
one thing that brings the government and law into your relationship. They're like, but we want to do
that. Yeah. Why? Well, they're going to explain why car. Oh, my number nine, they talk about the romance that blooms in a successful marriage.
Tax breaks. Yeah, tax breaks. Having somebody be able to show up in the hospital with you.
Yeah. You know, preference and legal battles, official recognition of your relationship,
which is bullshit. Right. Sorry. You can say bullshit. You can say bullshit.
Okay. Listen, tax breaks. Yeah. Listen, honey bullshit? You can say bullshit. Okay.
Listen, tax breaks.
Yeah, listen, honey, I'm not crazy about you, but my 10W 40 would look way matter if
you and I are...
I'm sure that doesn't turn into 10 different fights between your four different girlfriends,
too.
Yeah.
Well, and then like, so the very next one, I just call this one marriage pill.
That's, you can't leave me unless you want to fight me in court.
But it's like, why would you want that for real?
I don't, I genuinely don't understand it.
I know that you and I are opinions different a little bit on this one.
Yeah, he's in hot water this whole time.
The whole time he's like, listen, marriage is bullshit and the wife is just staring at
my baby eyes like, really honey.
Tell me more about how marriage is both. Which wife.
This idea, they both been divorced before.
And this idea that they would get married
for the tax benefits is insane for Rob,
because he's gonna be spending way more than those benefits
where when this all dissolves,
which I bet a certain amount of money on that happening at some point in the near future.
It doesn't seem like this is gonna be something that,
it's not gonna last a lifetime.
This fucking everyone who comes into your,
but they're actively looking for people to fuck all the time.
Oh yeah.
They're on all these websites and they're reaching out to people.
And I just thought, I mean, you guys already kinda
let this out, but the Selena chick, who I guess is partners
with both of them, I just, they let this out
way during the episode and I was like, wait, what?
How our relationship formed, we actually met Selena
through her husband.
Yeah.
And so she also has another partner and.
So Selena's married, but she doesn't live with her husband
Yeah, she lives with those two married people for some reason
What's her husband doing?
I'm actually having a great time. They have a whole set of rules because Selena isn't his or her partner
He's our partner. You know, I mean there's one party's even like oh my part. I mean, I mean our partner honey
You know what I mean? It's that there's even like, oh my part. I mean, I mean our partner, honey. You know what I mean? It's that there's a lot of fucking rules around all that.
Well, so is Rob's dad asked some questions? Yes. Which I think are appropriate.
I have two people that I consider my partners, right? So there's Alicia and my partner Selena,
our partner Selena. And you know, the three of us, we all live together at home. And so
I remember distinctly, I think it was like last year, my dad called me on my birthday, my dad,
you know, you and I aren't particularly close in general,
but you know, he calls me and he says,
hey, hey, Robert, I heard that you've got a wife
and a girlfriend.
Yeah, I do, dad.
So how does that work? What do you mean? How's that work? Yeah, you know, like
You know, you have you know your wife and your girlfriend, you know, they sleep in the same bed, you know
Do you you like do stuff together in the same bed? Yeah, that's the question I have do you sleep in the same bed?
And how many beds do you have to push together?
in the same bed. And how many beds do you have to push together?
It's a big, that happened.
Because the three of these fucking people,
holy shit, this mattress, work it over time.
You're saying they got multiple California kings going in there?
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Because that would be my first question.
Do you like, seriously,
what both of these women in the bed?
Well, and like, like bears, hibernating.
Number, number 12, my number 12, like this isn't a flex.
This isn't a good thing.
Okay.
Um, and Rob has a, when everybody says that to him, like,
oh man, you're living the dream.
Like you got two women.
And he's like, yeah, man, and everything that comes with two women.
Yeah.
Being in one relationship is a fucking nightmare. Right. Being in one relationship is a fucking nightmare.
Right.
Being in two relationships is a fucking house game.
And they're all my god.
They live together so you know they're syncing up.
Oh.
So you're gonna want to get out of the house one week on every month.
Right.
And just get the fuck out of there.
Selena's husband's got it, maybe.
He's just like just go over to your boyfriend's house
and tell him all your fucking problems.
The fuck outta here.
And you know they throw her name around like a switch plate.
Oh, I bet you don't talk to Selena that way.
You would never talk to Selena to wash dishes this way.
So I want to get back to this Christa Kathleen,
who's actually an attractive woman.
So Christa, let's talk about her story,
how she became polyamorous.
That was like my favorite part about writing this book
was sharing my non-monogamy journey.
So let's dive in.
Yeah, yeah, totally, totally.
I'm curious how,
it just kind of give a quick breakdown for our listeners,
like how it started, but like how has it evolved?
And is it still, are you still non-monogamous?
Are you monogamous?, how has it evolved? And is it still, are you still non monogamous? So you monogamous, like, how, how has that looked?
So it started from an accident or bioclet.
Oh, yeah.
So I got drunk and fucked a basketball team.
And then I decided like, oh, I'd rather have five penises
of my mouth than one.
Yeah.
So that was when I would go through my head.
And then she tells the story and I
wasn't that far off.
I went out for a friend's
bachelor at party. This is a
month after I got married and
went out for a bachelor party.
We got wasted. We're at a
winery. There was a bachelor
party that was there at the
same time. And before I knew
it, I was me and the bachelor
were making out and like dry
humping each other on the party bus and it was just it was
insane. And the next morning
I remember waking up being like
oh my gosh like what did I just
do? I just got married a month
ago and I already cheated on my
husband. So one month into her
marriage. Yeah. She cheats on her
husband. Well it was an accident
though. I don't know. She's
left. She landed vagina first
on a wreck penis. Oh no. It's not a friend. She's not a friend. She landed vagina first on her rect penis.
Oh, no, no.
It hasn't done that.
The bride put a dick depository sign on her back.
And she got dick-matized.
That was the best of us.
So then, in order to make up for it,
she decides, well, we'll just make this part of our relationship.
I'll just sleep with other guys.
And you'll just have to deal with that.
And I know that's the way it went down because listen to the story about her fucking this CrossFit owner.
And see if you can pick up a little phrase in here that really sums up what's going on.
I was doing CrossFit at the time and there was the owner of the CrossFit gym that we really just started to feel for each other.
And then I remember asking my husband,
hey, is it okay?
Like I'm really attracted to this guy.
Is it okay if we go on a date together?
And he finally agreed and like,
oh, and that was like one of my most favorite dates
of all time.
And just so like hot and scandalous.
And he knew about it the whole time, right?
It's not cheating, like,
which is about it before, but man, that was a good one. I enjoyed that. Did you guys pick up on it?
The date he finally agreed
Oh, the key phrase in there. I asked my husband if I could date the CrossFit owner
You nagged your husband into saying if you're gonna fuck it, but just go fuck him
Yeah, you need my permission to do this shit. You've heard it. She'd have me eight times
Go fuck the guy.
So you'll be shocked to know that that marriage
didn't work out.
Oh, so you and he didn't wind up staying together then.
Yeah, no.
Oh.
And then they giggle about it.
Yeah, he just said like that was a giant horror.
So fucking the crossfit instructor didn't save your marriage.
Yeah, just like, I gotta go figure. And then they. So fucking the crossfit instructor didn't save your marriage. Yeah, just like, I gotta go figure.
And then they're talking about the crossfit instructor again.
And I guess that guy wasn't featured in the book that she wrote.
I don't even know if I talked about him in the book.
I don't think I did actually.
I mean, there was just so many,
I had so many sexual experiences and people went that,
that like I just didn't have enough time to write about it at all.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
She wrote a book about fucking guys
and couldn't get all of the guys into this book
and left out by her admission her favorite date of all time.
Right. I fuck so many guys.
I can't even talk about the best ones.
There's so many of them.
My clip 8 kind of follows that up.
Okay.
I had so many sexual experiences and people went that,
like, I just didn't have enough time to write about it at all. Mm had up. Okay. I had so many sexual experiences and people went that the like,
I just didn't have enough time to write about it at all.
Mm-hmm, yeah.
You know what's funny is when I was,
so I had a ghost writer and editor
who was helping me to write this book.
And when I, and you know, every week we would meet
and I would tell her about all these sexual stories
and everything and she was just like,
oh my gosh, Chris,
you've had more pause more like adventures in your life
than anybody I've ever known.
Yeah, but adventures is code for cock.
That was a play way of saying,
oh, you've had more semen in your,
I mean, adventures.
Yeah, her ghost Twitter told her she's a slut.
That wasn't a compliment.
Wow, you fucked that many fucking guys.
I was considered coaching how adventurous. Yeah, adventurous you are to put that many fucking guys. I'm considered coaching. How adventurous you are.
To put that many penises in your mouth,
really impressive stuff.
I can't wait to write this book about you.
My clip 6, it's like,
obviously there's some disconnect with these people.
I'm sure that it's Mala Station.
With the recognition that anxiety and excitement that it's molestation. You're okay. That's sex.
With the recognition that anxiety and excitement
feel exactly the same in my body.
I get the same jitters and my stomach hurts
and I adrenaline and the feeling when I'm anxious
and when I'm excited is exactly the same.
And so really shift.
Yeah, you got date-reaped.
You were scared when you got fucked. I definitely got the whiff so really shift. Yeah, you got date-reaped. You were scared when you got fucked.
I definitely got the whiff of horrifying trauma.
Yeah.
Not only then, but everyone they talked about.
I have a clip here that they talk about how great divorce is.
Hmm.
That's great summary.
Yeah, I recommend it.
One of the fears people have with non-monogamy is that it will ruin their relationship.
I know that one of the really big fears that people have is what if my partner falls in love with someone
else and then our relationship ends.
That's right.
What if I fall in love with someone else and then and it's like a game changing relationship, right?
And then our relationship ends and people like, like, there's this huge fear,
like, what if something changes?
What if something changes?
And I've never, ever, ever had talked to anybody.
I mean, I'm sure they're out there,
but I've never talked to anybody who went through
a change like that, who, like, gets divorced or has a big life
change like that, and they look back and go,
I wish that that never happened.
You have people who got to divorce, like that, and they look back and go, I wish that that never happened.
You have people who got to do divorce, who are happy about it?
I'm really glad it went down, the way that it went down.
I would say you shouldn't have gotten married,
because then you can just be a horror, and that's a good time to go.
The rest of your life.
Yeah, well, I mean, look, I've said for years,
my divorce is the best fucking thing never happened to me. You know what I I mean the reason to cause so much is because of the word that it could have been avoided
It's my whole block. Yeah, I mean look blue sky sure all right. Let's talk about smart this woman is
Krista yeah, and then reading some of those books to like, you know ethical slot. That was a good one
I those books to like, you know, ethical slot. That was a good one. Um, I remember what some
of the other ones were that we read ethical slot. The list goes out. I made my point here.
Remember the one that said it was okay for me to be a whore when you read books, it
makes you very smart about these things. I hear's a clip that piss me off. I love love
love to ask the people that come on the show.
If you believe or feel that monogamy versus non-monogamy, is it a choice that we make or
is it like an orientation?
What do you think?
That is a powerful question.
That's true.
That is a powerful question because if we're going to add slot to the LGBTQ,
as now they have a get out of jail free card,
you can't fire these people.
They can do whatever the fuck they want.
They're like, I'm an ass. I'm an ass.
What do you want?
For me.
Can't discriminate against me.
Yeah.
Isn't a choice or an orientation?
It's everyone's choice.
I had no choice but to fuck three guys
while you were on vacation.
Right.
It's like, that's just the way I am.
I was born this way.
Wanting to sleep with a whole bunch of people is...
Everyone?
Everyone!
Yes.
That's not an orientation.
Croix, am I up for this?
Oh, it's certainly my choice.
I walk out of my door and I'm like, sorry, man.
I have standards.
I can't.
Sorry.
I'd love to.
I mean, I'm honored.
But I only want to be with one woman.
I haven't met her yet, but I don't want to be with a woman. I'm sorry. I'd love to. I mean, I'm honored, but I only want to be with one woman. I haven't met her yet, but I don't want to be with a woman going forward.
Anything else you guys picked up on?
I only got two more clips if you want to hear them. My number 17 was an ad they played at the beginning of the show.
Yeah, this is weird. I went to this website.
If you are 17 or younger and wish to educate yourself about sex and relationships, you should visit who are these that kind
Alright, that's not the site that's not the site now the site that I went to it looked like it was built for children
It was like a highlights magazine looking web page
Yeah, and I'm guessing that there's a little bit of propaganda going because it was mostly about being gay
So if you're under 17 go read a bunch of propaganda about being gay.
I was a goofess and gallant in there.
Yeah, I was wondering how that's legal.
Like, hey, kids, if you're under 17, you want to see some sex, come over to my website.
Like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Who are these?com?
That's right.
And my number 18 was just the chemistry between Rob and Alicia.
My, I've got butterflies in my stomach now.
What do you do with all of them?
Shake them up and make juice.
She eats everything.
Butterflies juice.
Oh, you're drinking.
Kill me.
Just fucking kill me. That's all I got. I can't take it. These are these are married people. Oh, having a conversation about great the relationship is.
This is a fun clip from the episode where they're talking to her. This is episode one, by the way, that introduces the world to these five folks.
Sex is a byproduct, but it seems like that's always the thing that people ask about. They ask about the sex and if it's okay
and if I'm cheating on my wife or if my wife knows.
He says that sex is just a byproduct of this lifestyle.
Sex is the only thing.
Yeah.
You could be married and have a roommate.
Like this happens and no one would bet and I.
When you're all fucking each other,
that's what makes it a thing.
It's the sex that makes it a thing.
That's the only thing.
Like he talks about the fact that he's like,
connecting with people at their souls.
Like, I connected these people and I just,
I know them so well.
It's like, no, you're just fucking everyone you want to.
That's all it is.
It's what animals do.
It's, yes.
It's the human condition.
It is.
Andy, what else do you have on this?
I thought 13 was pretty entertaining.
And then also it's just so much calmer
on our nervous systems.
Like taking, like you stretch your comfort zone,
and then you take time to kind of come back
to what feels good and normal,
and then you stretch it again.
Your comfort zone?
I thought you'd call it your pusshole.
It's the stretch.
Stretch out that comfort zone, baby.
As much as you can.
She's stretching out her fucking belly.
Yes.
She falls in love with every grub hub driver,
every instacar driver.
She's got comfort food for her comfort zone.
And in clip 15,
they start actually giving relationship advice.
Oh, good.
I need these life coaches to explain to me how relationships work.
I'm curious.
What do you think makes for a successful relationship?
I'm still, I'm gonna be honest.
I'm still trying to figure that out in my current relationship.
Yeah. Good answer.
I didn't think it's about being able to communicate with each other.
I think communication and then having the tools to work through any kind of situation.
So you need to communicate that you're a fuck slide.
Yes.
And then get the tools.
This guy's tool.
That guy's tool.
By the way, as soon as someone explains that you need to learn
the tools, I'm zoned out. Okay, this person is fucking lying. They're selling me snake
oil. I am not going to listen to anything else I have to say with your tools. Yeah. It
gets real bonkers at the end of this one. Did you catch on to any of the stuff with the
fucking kids and teaching their kids about this? Do talent. Oh my God. Clips 16.
How have you found, since having a baby,
has your, for both of you, has your,
like the people that you are drawn to
or wind up meeting up with?
Has that changed?
Like do you find yourself meeting up
with more other people who are parents?
Yeah, I mean, yeah, before when my husband and I were, you know, did not have kids, like,
it was really hard to hang out with other couples who did. And then now all I want to do is hang out
with other couples who do have kids, because it's just you just have so much more to talk about.
She's getting banged by some dad.
Yeah.
Did you have a kid or were you a gang bang last night?
So we're big down here.
So lacrosse practice.
Is that on Tuesdays for you?
For you.
Yeah, come on by face.
That's fine.
Because yeah, I just think my kids still lacrosse on Tuesdays.
It's so inconvenient.
They're more to talk about.
Tell me what's your practice.
Yeah.
Upload your dad if he'll give you a lift to LaCrosse.
And that's pretty much what she's talking about in clip 17.
Oh, good.
You know, it's something that I'm looking forward to.
I haven't told my partner this yet, but is when our son gets older, and I'm sure he's
going to be involved in a lot of sports because both of us work.
It is getting to like meet
up with the other parents and see like if there's an attraction to them and getting to
like, I'm just convinced there's got to be.
I'm just pausing it for a second.
This is what a home record says.
This is someone who's trying to destroy their poor kids classmates, families.
Right.
I'm here in St. Louis and it's a little bit more conservative here in the Midwest, but I'm
convinced that there's got to be like just parents out there who just need that release
and, you know, have that that secret.
And I don't know, I think it'll just be a fun new population to see what comes from
that.
Like, you know, you're sitting at your kids.
What comes from that sports event, but then, you're sitting at your kids. What comes from that?
Sports event, but then your secret,
I'm wondering like the person sitting next to you like,
ooh.
Do you think the fathers will fuck you?
Yes. Yeah, they will.
And you're worried about the teammates' parents.
What about her fucking kid?
The kid is like, oh, mom is jacking off the assistant coach
on her picnic plate, get a dad with a thump.
Poor kid.
Mom, I used to be popular before he started blowing every fucking dad.
No, I'm really popular.
I clip 19 that is Chris the woman apparently worked in the medical profession.
What?
He's a birthing coach or so.
I can't remember, but let's hear that.
I was a freaking labor and delivery nurse.
Like the reason I had a job was because people have sex, right?
And like never talked about that in that world or that field.
We never addressed that, even though obviously the baby came from two people.
Yeah.
Hopefully enjoying their fuck session.
Yeah.
Why would you need to talk about that?
Hey, guys, guess who this baby came came from Sags really good. Yeah. Yeah. Well position where you guys do it when you can see this baby. Yeah, oh ma'am
Can I have a different nurse?
Is that a medical term? Yeah, you're uh, hi. I'm Dr. Dick had and you're pregnant because of your fuck session
I can't believe I can't let you got fired
Shocked by this
How is that possible we have a nurse shortage and they're like all right you're out of fucking control Yeah, you gotta go you gotta stop talking to these women about sex
It's the last thing on their mind right now. They're kind of bummed out about it. Yeah, nine months ago
They're having a good time
Anything else any yeah, I'm gonna speedrun these this is a clip 20. It's more explaining to kids about polyamory.
Sexual education books and gender education books and anatomy books that I just keep
around the house. So my children can just pick things up and know that like this is acceptable.
Like this is a thing that we can just leave on the coffee table.
Yes, there's a book of vulvas on our kitchen counter right now.
And nobody bats an eye. It's just because someone was flipping through it and put it on the kitchen counter.
Whoa.
Here you go, Timmy. Enjoy this blacktail magazine while you're eating your cocoa puffs.
My son is obsessed with chocolate now.
What are you doing over there?
I would say creating more monsters.
Yeah, it would be.
Yeah, let's talk about that.
Clip 21.
At no point do we sit down and, okay, you're old enough now to
understand that we are non-monogamous.
And this means like, we aren't having sex where our children can see us
or hear us like we aren't, you know,
we aren't doing these things that I,
for some reason I think.
The way you're giggling makes you think that maybe you are.
People assume it's happening,
which is really weird because that would never happen.
Our children know that there are lots of people
in their lives that love them,
just like if they had lots of cousins or if I had lots of siblings, or just lots of girlfriends that came around, you know, they know there's a lot of people in their lives that love them and that's really all that matters.
Ask McKenzie Phillips how that worked out.
Yeah, yeah, Jesus fucking crazed. So what I do to raise my children is I show them pornography and bring a bunch of strangers into the house
That they just see as a revolving door of people coming in and out. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, it's gonna turn out fine
Wonderful should be should be good. Yeah, and I'm not one to get parenting advice
Mommy number three is cool, but mommy number three's second husband. He's a creep
Look out for him. He's just for the sex
And my last clip clip clip 22, they have,
they like to have safe spaces.
I'd rather hear a gunshot come from my parents room
than drop it fucking long.
Oh.
I'm sure you were familiar with club SESO
in Portland before it was done.
That's where we would have our fun on the weekends.
And I remember feeling safer being there
than in a regular bar because they have so many
like rules and boundaries and guidelines of like respect.
I mean, you don't have to feel like you're gonna get raped
if you're just walking around a nightclub with no panties on
fucking everybody.
You're trying to get raped
You're not worried about it and then and he's victim blaming but in this case I agree with everything that he's saying
Oh my god
Crozier anything else you want to do my double zero make it over by any chance double zero
I didn't I play that at the beginning. I didn't hear sorry if there's ever a podcast to watch that was the one from last week. Oh is it? Yeah. I didn't put doubles here on the board. Let me grab it.
What happened to Val Kilmer? Geez, Homer. I thought someone with two wives would be happy.
No, you're thinking of someone with two knives. I gotta tell you, this is pretty terrific.
Yeah. The hater of all haters the troll of all trolls Carla
What is it?
All right, well that's a foreshadowing for
Hey, I brought a crazy you brought a crunch this week, right?
No, look, I don't take stuff personally and especially not anything in the podcast world
But my number 39 this is from the Cardiff Electric show.
This is our friend Casey and I got to tell you, this are my feelings.
Okay, thank you for joining us.
Before we get started, is there anything that you would like to say?
Cardiff Electric, will you marry me?
I love you, Cardiff Electric.
I love you.
She told me I was special.
Yeah.
And I believe her, but it turns out she says that to all the podcasters. Apparently, yes, and I guess I'm just the fool that keeps getting fooled.
I hope kind of was super chatting or enough money to say that.
But anyway, the cringe of the week is on me. All right, I have another cringe of the week. This is Harris football.
It's a fantasy podcast. I'm a fantasy football
drafting. This came in from Hellstead is fat and I guess the host has been doing this a long time. He should be better at this.
Uh, the guy just has like a quick quip and uh, the host can't stop fucking laughing. He just has a giggle fed on that.
Awesome. And it's not like it's a second year player where it's like, okay, we know what we have here. He caught 80 balls last year. We can do this. This
is more just like, no, I'm 112 pounds and my knee hurts. And I mean, my cousin says that all the time.
So, I mean, that part is a little, and I'm happy with it. I really am. I completely, I sold myself seven different ways on how smart this was.
So, you know, and I don't pay attention to anything that Justin Fields does.
I don't even know who that is.
So, I'm 112 pounds in my knee.
Can we please clip that for the, for the supercut of the end of the season please somebody
oh wait I'm the producer.
It's so professional.
It's so professional to hold the show just because I can't stop laughing.
That was pretty funny.
He is 112 pounds and his knee does hurt.
Who's your number 3 AD pre-spr 3 80 pres? Wow. I guess you had
to be there. He calls himself out here. I guess I wasn't that funny, but I can't wait to hear that
super clip at the end of the season with all your hilarious jokes.
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and with that i bring you don't tell me you don't like my show
don't tell me you don't like my show And with that I bring you
Because that's a surg.
Patrick Michael.
Oh, my hero.
Patti.
A legend skull.
Patti's Seacups.
Patti Taste is God.
Guy.
Todd.
Forget what his newest one was.
Wow, he put out a new The Briefcase, which I inject out.
And a new nine minute pod. He didn't listen to me. I didn't listen to the nine minute
pod. Andy told me I should listen to it. I think it's time to do that. I got a treat for you then.
All right, let's start with you then. Thank you. I'm gonna hear this. All right, so the nine
minute pod, it turns out, was taken over by two completely real people named Simon and Tyler
and number 30, the show starts. We're having a chat. Why don't we go in to do something like that? Now is he British?
Is he Irish?
Is he Australian?
Doesn't look a matter.
Let's go.
They introduced themselves coming up.
It's interesting how both of these guys talk in the same way that Patrick Michael does.
It's great.
I know it.
It's when the chances are it sounds like he found a pit shifter, but I assure you.
It's two different people that love to say the word simply.
Yeah. Real people have a real conversation.
Well, like Simon, I see what you're saying,
but this isn't our show.
Oh, right.
I forgot.
Welcome to the Noem Minute podcast.
The shortest podcast.
Right now, I mean, doing episodes I suppose you'd say.
I am Simon and I'm Tyler and I really don't know what we have nine minutes.
Are you wasted four of them talking about?
I don't even remember what you said.
So you are saying that you'll think had it.
Wasted.
I just agree. This is great. Yeah, this is cool. Now he spends about five minutes quibbling with us up. I mean,
they spend five minutes quibbling with each other. And then they
finally bring up the topic of the day, which is post malone or
machine gun cally or something. Do you think this is scripted?
How is he doing this? Did he do that? Some posts with the pit
shift stuff?
I don't even want to speculate on the game.
I don't even want to, I don't want to peak behind the curtain.
This kind of magic, just let it be.
This is next level.
Yeah.
Some of you listeners, I don't know who he listens to this,
but you might be aware of this fella named Machine Gun Kelly. He's made some songs he was like a rapper and then like
Eminem very odd rapper and Eminem that's what that's pretty funny you know you
get it no I don't fucking what do you mean what's the cat night to get my So this is rapper
This Eminem Eminem's common rapper. It's like
Just fucking move on mine. How is it possible they have no chemistry with each other?
They can't even carry out a conversation with each other. I
Hope this is like a one-man show where he's like turning to his left to talk to the one character turning to his right I
Loan in a closet. I would watch this as a stage show for sure
I said this on the live show last week who would go to see Patrick Michael life
Would go even a bartenders. I had no idea what we were talking about wanted to go
You're leaving money on the table. Yeah Patrick Michael. Yeah, even a couple of girlfriends and wives
We got dragged there.
We're like, yeah, I had to come here.
I'm going to that.
Why not?
Um, and then I'm pretty sure this is an accurate depiction of what the voices in his
head sound like.
I'm about to run off here and say, don't look back.
We're not going to, we're not going to help Tyler.
It was the point in this in the first place.
I got things to do. I'd rather be watching paint try
Well, well, you were like, well, let's I gotta pause it. I got things to do. I'd rather be watching paint try are two very different statements
Yeah, fucking more on well, let's I mean that's
Is it paint like just on a wall?
like an artist depiction of something
That would be fun to see the final of it
now
literal paint on a wall
Better than you
I like this
Fed up with himself
So the expression watch paint dry is not talking about staring at the Mona Lisa I like this. I like this. I like this. I like this. I like this.
I like this.
I like this.
I like this.
I like this.
I like this.
I like this.
I like this.
I like this.
I like this.
I like this.
I like this.
I like this.
I like this.
I like this.
I like this.
I like this.
I like this.
I like this.
I like this.
I like this. I like this. I like this. himself over this. That's fine. Like fish to water. You just gotta let him speak.
You're right.
You know, last one from the 9 minute pod, they talk about tattoos.
He got some tattoos on top of tattoos, which at that point, you have to be fucking tattoos,
man.
You know what I mean?
Like that's way too many if you got tattoos over tattoo.
Yeah, I mean, but what does that mean?
What's it for? It's not funny.
Now it's fucking that was good.
Keep it in Ralph.
Fucking cut it out Ralph.
Stop this whole thing.
What's that over?
Do something else.
Although you're leaving.
All I wanted was for Ralph to shop. Hey, guys, I'm wrong.
Hey, yeah.
There's a third inaudible guy.
That would have been amazing.
Yeah, it's not even enough that there are two imaginary people.
They're talking to a four imaginary person.
And then now here's the kicker.
Okay.
At the very end, they say,
we Simon and Tyler have a podcast called We Don't Care.
And I'm like, I wonder if that's a joke or if that's a real Patrick Michael thing.
So I crack open iTunes. There's four podcasts already called We Don't Care. I couldn't find. And I'm like, I wonder if that's a joke or if that's a real Patrick Michael thing. So I crack open iTunes.
There's four podcasts already called We Don't Care.
I couldn't find one from this.
And so I think it's real.
I did the same.
I just like every other Patrick Michael podcast.
I think it's a real thing.
I don't know, but I can't.
And you can't find it.
Yeah, I can't prove it.
Which makes it seem like it's real.
Yeah.
All right.
So I'm going to give you guys a cheat.
Patrick Michael Cheat.
You type in anchor.f slash we don't care.
That will be the one that Patrick Michael does.
Yeah. That's how that always works.
All right, let's talk about this briefcase.
Let's open up a brief case on the money episode.
Nevertheless, this is the briefcase.
And we're opening up a new case today on the money episode.
Okay, that's what this is folks.
This is the money episode.
Thank you for tuning in.
If this is your first time tuning in, you have just paid me, I don't know, a half a
cent. So thank you.
He got me.
I don't know.
I don't really know the math when it comes to this algorithm situation or whatever the ad
and the CPM or whatever.
I don't know.
Okay.
Well, you're right.
You don't know.
It's not half a penny.
It's much less than that.
I believe because we did the P pod, we found out it was a $15 CPM, which means for each
lesson you get .15 pennies.
For each lesson, that's the math. Also, it's not an algorithm.
It's an equation.
I hate that everyone thinks that everything math related
is a fucking algorithm.
No, no, no, no, it's just an equation.
I did it in my head.
It's not difficult.
And 0.15 pennies is very, very similar to zero.
Right?
Yeah.
Like, if you had that much money in the bank,
wouldn't you be like, I don't have any money, it's zero.
I mean, even 15 pet-ass is zero.
And that's 1,000 less.
Right.
So basically, this guy is doing a victory lap
over having no money at all.
People don't realize the level of work that goes into this.
I'm not saying that, oh my god, this is an award winning show
or this sounds the best or it's hilarious or anything
I'm not top of the line by any stretch of the imagination
I'm simply saying that the time put into this including the editing is
valuable
People's time is valuable and you guys want me to entertain you or whatever the fuck clip me all right people's time is valuable
Mm-hmm, but not Patrick Bikos.
And the reason why I know this is because if he wasn't podcasting, he could make minimum
wage at best.
Based on his work experience and just overall intelligence level, his time is worth
one 15th of a century.
Right.
He's right.
The time is valuable.
Just not his.
All I know is you keep coming back you keep clicking play in those plays now
Sound like cha-ching cha-ching cha-ching. Okay, just money falling into the pocket. I'm diving into it like the duck tails
Uncle or whatever he was okay, all right, Rooj McDuck so each listen that he gets is
point one five pennies and
He's just racking in the dough over this very impressive. I have to say good for him
So what did he decide to do? Cros you've listened to this episode
He decides he's gonna reinvest in the podcast. Yeah, he goes down to the
And he goes point me to the audio equipment in this guitar center.
I'm a podcaster,
and I need audio equipment.
We're taking it to the next level.
Yeah.
So I found this to be amusing.
And there's a bunch of microphones.
Specifically the one we've all seen,
the other podcasters use,
the ones that have video for the most part right
We've seen this sure sm7b
All right, it's fucking 400 dollars which to some people they're like, yeah, that's fucking nothing
I throw 400 on it, but it's like
You must think highly of yourself as a podcaster as a
singer as whatever it is that you're using the
microphone for, you gotta think highly of yourself to put $400 into it.
I even heard someone this upset about $400 since the Reverend Horton Heats.
Dude, he was like offended by this. I
Dude he was like offended by this he goes are you fucking kidding me 400 hours from microphone?
Yeah pound paint. Yeah, fuck it. Yeah, I don't think
Immediately you're conceded for wanting one. Yeah, I would kind of asshole would want to have a quality microphone either podcast. There's two arguments though. You either think that you deserve it or
you're like, I suck. I need all the help I can get. I better buy the best
microphone. Or do you see it from both angles? I have an angle. He's singing from
the angle of I don't have $400. That's the correct angle. He even thinks that
Lipson is too much money. It's no different than these people that
pay to have their podcast hosted by a Lipson or what Lipson is too much money. It's no different than these people that pay to have their podcast hosted by Lipson or what Lipson,
that's the thing, right?
You pay $12 a month, they'll host your podcast,
they'll send it out to iTunes, all this other random shit.
You're paying to give people free shit.
That is insane to me.
And his every show starts off with that much mouth anchor
at FM Reed because he uses a shitty
free service.
Right.
And I want to point out that I use lips and I spend more than that.
Wow.
Money bags over here.
Humble bread.
No, it's more than that.
It sounds much as olpious about the thousands of thousand dollars.
Go up over here.
I don't think it understands the business model of podcasting.
I think he's very confused about,
why would I pay money to get something for free?
Did you know that the radio is also free
and that broadcast television has been free since the 40s?
How do you not understand the business model of this?
What did you pick up on from this episode?
I probably already clips some of your clips here.
Uh, so he came up with, I'm just gonna fucking say it.
A great idea, a podcast I would listen to, a podcast that blows, do you party out of the fucking water?
Number 36.
You know, send me, uh, send me a subway sub.
From really far away.
And I'll, I'll, I'll take a bite.
I might just take a bite and be like well it didn't keep.
It certainly didn't keep on its journey. Well that's what the show is for folks.
Okay we will get the laughies. Instead of the giggles of the laughies that's
pretty good. You're welcome. Take that. Use that for whatever you know. I'm a
creator folks. I come up with stuff on my own and that is what it is and it is
What it ain't also some
Well said so cuz he's going on about old maps like you send me an old map and I'll do a podcast but an old maps
Send me a sandwich and I'll eat the sandwich until you didn't keep this brilliant. I want it
Yeah, I'm sending him two tabs acid and some fucking rotten ass cottage cheese or something like some x-lacks. I don't know. Let's do this man
Just fucking eat this up turn on the mic and let's go. I have a better idea. The dare to be stupid. No, I have it
I have a better idea. How about we just take that acid? Oh, you know
Big idea. Little white-six game. I'm actually, you know, thinking about doing that. All right, good
Hold on before you get on your next thing. So the problem with this episode
It's it's like there's three parts to this episode.
And the first part is where you pulled that clip from.
It's the part that is bothering me about Patrick Michael,
the fact that he's doing the show for me now.
Yeah. So go, clip this.
He said something, he's like, yeah, clip that.
It's like, he's too aware and it makes it boring and lame.
It's like, now when Alex Jones goes on Joe Rogan,
he goes, oh, they'll make a meme out of this.
Come on, let's do this or be a meme.
Oh, they're gonna love this, he'll clip it.
And it's like, well, no, it's not fun anymore.
It's not trying to go viral, you know?
Yeah, it.
Bert Kreischer, let's try to think of all the presents
we can name.
Oh my God, this is gonna go viral.
Yeah, this is gonna be great on YouTube.
It's not.
So that's the problem is like things have to happen
organically.
And when he comes on, he's just like,
oh, so you guys are gonna clip this part? Oh, I clip this part. And it's like, okay, well now it's not. Yeah, that happen organically. And when he comes on, he's just like, oh, so you guys are going to clip this part?
Oh, clip this part.
And it's like, OK, well now it's not.
Yeah, that was not fun.
Love this shit, guys.
I love it.
And here's why I love it.
And I said it before.
And I think some of you understand,
there's a handful of you that will fully appreciate that
right there.
You'll appreciate it.
But there is a lot of you'll appreciate it.
But there is a lot of you that won't.
And maybe that's what I enjoy the most.
Because now, as I've told, you know, because I've talked to some other podcasters I work with
recently and I said, hey guys, you know, it's no longer a goal of mine to do a podcast
and be funny.
I simply want to do things to get reactions now.
Okay, so if you're gonna clip it,
it might as well be worth it, right?
That's why I will always, you know,
refer to you by your name.
This is the beginning of the end.
Yeah, I just wanna get a reaction from people.
Well, if that's your goal,
then I'm gonna stop reacting.
Yeah. Just be you. Just go ahead and be you. Yeah. That's what we love. Plus, he can't afford
the microphone, but he can afford to pay a piano player. That's fucked up. Yeah. You got
your priorities. Well, that was Dick's idea that we could be his backup band. I like it.
Yeah. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. A little bit
overlap here, but my number 37 is on a very similar path. Okay. Okay, so if you're gonna, if you're
gonna clip it, it might as well be worth it, right? That's why I will always, you know, refer
to you by your name. Wow, that, you know, that is a person who has been on the radar or
I've been on their, I don't know their I don't know I don't know
I've never even had a radar to be honest Jesus not even the kind that keeps you from
Being pulled over whatever it is
But it also goes off when you pass a gas station. I don't understand any of your radar detector
By the way, yeah, so I got a satellite on top of my roof so I can watch television
It's a radar detector.
There's a gate arid because he's in your mouth.
It's wet.
And then and look, I'm sorry, I know I say that's every fucking time.
So, Shamus, you can work the digital reverb and you can't work your level still.
How are you doing this?
He's going in and zooming out parts with this a stereo digital reverb and it's like
and you never once saw, oh maybe I'll turn up
so people can hear it.
That never just cross your mind.
By the way, I know, whenever I pull in his show
I normalize the thing.
Which brought it up 10 DBs and it's still way quieter
than the clips we were playing earlier.
So this is him talking about all the money
that he's making from Patreon, specifically,
but also these anchor reads.
28 patrons.
Oh, yeah.
He's going to reinvest this money back into the show.
I've never really spent outside money on this equipment anyways.
I've simply saved money from the podcasting and returned it to podcasting.
And I've continued to do so.
That's why I was recently looking
because of course, Patreon, thanks again to everybody
who supports over there, it's patreon.com slash pod culture.
I was looking recently because of that.
I said, hey, you know what, I'm gonna reinvest,
see if I can't find something.
Maybe there's a sale, I don't know.
I'm just looking around.
And you know what, didn't find nothing.
Did find nothing. Didn't find nothing.
There was nothing in the guitar center
that was in his fucking price range.
Yeah, he's like, this is not a fight below.
This is really weird.
This is like, Suttering John's Shopping for a Car.
No, what's funny about the Suttering John parallel here
is that Suttering John always talks about
all the money I get from Superchats.
I'm gonna put towards my DC,
or I'm gonna put it towards my new camera, my DC trip.
It's like this whole idea that money that comes in,
you're putting aside for different things you spend money on,
is retarded.
This is what poor people say.
Like, I make money from advertisers and the Patreon
and freelance work that I do, and it all goes into a bank account.
I don't know where the fuck, when I'm buying a hot dog at the baseball game
I'm not like, oh, can't use my Patreon money for that. I promise. I promise the patrons. I got a hot dog on layaway
It's so fucking stupid
You know perhaps soon enough I will be able to simply pay for that weird
microphone that I see anybody use when they do death metal vocals
pay for that weird microphone that I see everybody use when they do death metal vocals.
Really any kind of singing and any podcasting. It's like that's the microphone. So he thinks
that microphone that Joe Rogan uses and all these people use is the same microphone you use for singing and death metal vocals. It's not. It's not the same microphone and he should know that.
I would think. He's a bad microphone. And he should know that. I would think, because he's a bit of band.
He's a podcaster.
And then he comes to the level of self awareness here.
I know this is kind of just random,
blabber to fill the space,
but hey, this is the money episode folks,
and I could give a shit about what I'm saying,
or have said at this point,
because you're not listening this far. That's what we know
We know this statistically we can see you're not coming this deep to the episode. I love that
Yeah, he's looking at his stance and anchor and it shows where people drop off and then it's a steep slope
Oh, yeah, you better be an advanced skier. Yeah, you're gonna go on that slow
steep slope. Oh yeah. You better be an advanced skier. Yeah. You're gonna go on that slope.
So double black diamond podcast. Yeah. Was it pizza french fries pizza french fries? Yeah,
you're having a good time. All right, so so now he's already like decided no one's listening to this part of the show. This is the Patrick Michael I love. Yeah. Yeah. This is the no one's
gonna hear this anyway who gives a shit out to talk. He tells us about what the future of comedy is.
You know, I'm actually starting to think that perhaps this is what uh...
comedy and just podcasting will have to be.
It's going to take a little time to transition,
but I feel like it's only gonna be...
voices and...
music.
I think it's going to be holograms.
Yeah.
I think the future comedy is Kevin Meene going, I have fake big pants.
I have a fake big pants version.
I don't know what he's talking about.
What music and voices.
What?
So at this point, he talks about music.
And I think he uses a word wrong here.
I could be wrong.
Let me know.
You know what I'm saying?
It's like a bunch of whew, whew, whew, whew, whew.
It's weird.
I know I've made a lot of strange sounds
in music in this episode.
And that's just what it is.
It's called chemistry, folks.
And you're just gonna have to listen faster.
Listen faster.
That's called chemistry, keep up. faster. That's called chemistry keep up.
Yeah.
That's not what chemistry is.
Chemistry is when Tyler and Simon were talking about her.
A nine minute podcast is if their bestie's going way back.
All right, I think this might be a new outro for us.
I swear to God, every episode,
he puts together one.
Another magical piece for us.
Okay, guys, I feel like that's just gonna have piece for us okay guys I feel like
that's just gonna have to be the episode I feel like I'm out of here I got
nothing else for you and usually I would just be like I'm out of here I
wouldn't even bring up the fact that I got nothing but I did and we'll leave it
at that all right sounds good thank you for reminding us that you got nothing. Yeah, which is something that he talks about quite a bit
Stuttering John
Socks it life W-A-J-B-W-A-J-B. Yeah.
I don't have a lot on Stuttering John this week.
Yeah, I just brought two leftovers.
Okay.
So, my favorite thing in the whole fucking world is when Stuttering John goes on about other
people's medical conditions at length.
Number 19.
He never learns.
Oh my god.
Checking Martin won't return an email.
We're John's offering a money and John's just like, I don't get it.
What's the problem?
Listen to the level of detail in this clip.
You just watched Bear on the balcony this morning.
My mom, Melinda is feeling better.
Thank you Justin. She is feeling better. Thank you Justin.
She is feeling better.
I'm very happy to report.
She, she stopped taking her heart medication, I guess,
and because her legs were hurting.
So that's what caused her high blood pressure.
And that's what caused by niece Jennifer
to call the ambulance and took her into the ER. I mean that's it's the whole fucking medical history.
Right. What the fuck is wrong with this guy? And then because it's so fucking
interesting, he talks about his medical ship that's going on. As far as me,
I still clogged. I'm using that stuff they gave me the ear wax removal kit and hopefully my hearing will come back to the left ear.
Clean out your fucking ears, you disgusting piece of shit!
By the way, he did actually.
I'm the deadler, his anonymous subwriter. I can't clip it for the show because it's a visual.
But he's having a conversation with his guest and he's digging in his ear,
fuck it hard.
And then he's rubbing it all over his head.
He's rolling it around.
He's rolling it around, touching his face.
Oh.
This is really odd.
This guy, he doesn't clean his ears.
And this has been going on for weeks now, maybe months,
where he's like, I lost my hearing.
He went to the ear doctor.
The guy's like, well, it's because of all this wax bill.
Yeah, it's because you're gross.
It's because it's because you're gross.
Yeah.
It's because you're hygiene is like a cute tip.
Yeah.
By it.
I honestly, I'm shocked.
Yeah.
Listen, starting, John, you've been places you've seen people
in sandals.
Have you ever seen another human being with toenails like here?
Like, when you go to the zoo, you see a shitload of animals with toenails like yours but just go to the beach and just
look at people's feet just from a distance and just have zoo money yeah
compare them here to those and feel like oh shit I'm fucking
fucking cool I bought tickets to the zoo for me and my family and people say a
pro yeah alright so bamboo looks like my mother's prolapse director
She called my sister when her penis prolapse that she ate the x-wax. I have a photo on my photo. Let me get it
Did you see where he was showing a photo of his kids on his phone?
It cuz people are just fucking fucking with them and they're going oh yeah, you don't even talk to kids in hell
And they're going, oh yeah, you don't even talk to kids in here. Yeah, right.
This kid's are sending them.
You would never be treated.
So, they're always out there.
And I'm not even gonna get into this, because we just make fun of podcasts.
I don't get in people's personal lives, but Susanna is posting these speeches that are
done by John's kids at her wedding, talking about how great their new stepdad is.
It's so great to have a stable father figure.
Yes, yeah.
All right, so I guess I did just talk about it.
I didn't clip it though, because leave my kids out of this.
I mean, they're in libel.
The fact though that his ex-wife felt the need to not only put that on Facebook,
but making a public video is very telling.
It says something, right?
Yeah, yeah.
All right, so speaking of medical information, is very telling. It says something, right?
All right, so speaking of medical information,
Joe Rogan got COVID.
You guys hear about this?
No one's talking about it.
So he's going to hear about it.
And so, Suthering John,
he just knows so much about medical information.
Joe Rogan, who was out there spewing bullshit anti-vax
crap on his freaking podcast, which he has tons of listeners. Right.
Now that Jack has COVID, and he's taking Evector-Macon.
I remember I remember that.
Yes, I remember.
I can't believe it's taking Evector back then.
What the fuck is he thinking? He's jamming and A rector. I can't believe he's saying any vector back then.
What the fuck is he thinking?
Jammin' in a rector set up his ass.
So, again, Hail Sparks is just growing on me.
I'm liking this guy more and more.
This is how Hail responds to those.
You know, I've a mech then, yes.
Yeah, I have a mech.
A rector mech then is a totally different thing.
It comes in a blue, chewable pill. And it makes sure it gives you horse dick, I have a mech. Director, director mech then is a totally different thing. It comes in a blue, chewable pill.
And it makes sure it gives you a horse dick I've heard,
but not in a good way.
Painful erection.
So that's a call back.
So I don't know what Hell's Parks is doing.
Is he learning at all?
He should be, right?
And he's in there twice a week, too.
I know.
I know.
It's a waste of his time.
He's learning that he should respect John Les. Is what he's in there twice a week, too. I know. It's a waste of his time. He's learning that he should respect John Les,
is what he's learning.
And you could tell.
You could tell by the way he's starting to respond to John,
like you fucking moron.
He's so, yeah, you're so stupid.
Yeah, everything he says starts with.
All right, so last clip I have,
and this is hilarious, John explains he doesn't block people.
Hmm, I honestly don't know
anyone he hasn't blocked.
Yeah.
I don't know a single person John has not blocked.
He blocked me, I've never interacted with him
on social media in any way.
I've never tagged him in a tweet.
I've never liked it.
I've never done anything.
Yeah.
He just went out and actively, proactively blocked me.
A couple of things I want to address to
Couple of people have
Email me on patreon at patreon.com slash
I stunnering john saying somehow they've been blocked
Listen, I don't block anybody except if it's a guy trash in me or anything
That's everyone
That's everyone. I'm poor at anything. Or anything. That's literally everyone.
I was desperately trying to superchat him to come do stand up in Lumbar to Linoa last
week.
You were?
And I couldn't get it to work.
That's hilarious.
Some shit is blocked.
That's hilarious.
So, you know, just something going on with how YouTube is running this stuff stuff just change your name and then come back as somebody else
I love the explains so he goes out block people all day long
And he's like and by the way if I did block you here's how you get around it. Yeah, come back. It'll be fine
It's super easy to just don't sign in and then you can come right back in everybody does it
That's what everyone's doing
Holy shit, I can't believe he actually said he doesn't block people.
And then his next sentence, that first...
I thought the end would with the day instead of in art.
So something that we haven't talked about in a little while,
that needs to be addressed is this.
Babble, babble, babble.
That's right. It's time for...
An O OP segment. Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, ohus. I, for reasons I cannot possibly explain,
Spent a half hour with Opie this week.
I spent a half hour with him this morning.
Ooh, I'm sorry to hear that.
And I think we picked different episodes, so that's good.
Yeah, probably, because I listened to one called,
I have no beef with Joe Rogan and congrats brother Wee's.
And I'm like, okay, I gotta listen to this.
Okay.
So he starts off this episode with a big story
Number 21 called my brother is a savage
Did I did hear this okay? Oh my god my wife doesn't know this one yet
He goes I I really had to go to the bathroom really bad and I took a shit under your house.
And I left myself silly.
I didn't think you were here. I had to go to the bathroom so I took a shit under your house.
I really left myself silly on that. And then he goes on the next one.
Yeah, he was don't worry. I I
Buried it really really deep on my how deep he goes to feed. I'm like oh my god
It runs to the family. We can put wherever we want it doesn't bother us at all
So Obi-Wan's talked about how he shits and lakes
Yeah, and everyone was appalled by this because what are you doing?
Yeah.
And he says that his brother shows up at his house,
didn't know that he was home.
So Obi's home.
His boat didn't see a car in the driveway.
There's multiple bathrooms available to this guy.
For sure.
He digs a two-foot hole with what?
I don't know.
Is it a carry-off shit shovel?
Is there a shit shovel in his car? He's digging it like a dog through between his spread legs. What is he wipe-lift with?
Any exploits key. Any explain specifically which brother it is is the guy who owns the restaurant
He says we're the new restaurant. You're just inviting a lot of questions.
Digging a hole with his bare hands wiping with his own underwear, burying it all, and then going and fixing food for the public.
I feel like that's a problem.
Wow.
The episode I listened to, by the way, just before I forget, it's called Biden and Trump
both stink hot tape, hot tape right there.
He's like, you know, politicians man.
Okay, we got it.
Although he's getting very aggressive
with his ad reads all of a sudden.
Take back your financial freedom today
by visiting ptsdett.com slash Opie.
Do it now.
I need your help, you bitch.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
All right, you fuckers, newcom.
Hey, where you got it again, you motherfucking assholes. You better order some fucking new kids. You want to run it in now?
Fucker sit up
That's weird that he needs a new case of like call vice newcom motherfuckers
Hey, I'm stocked, but thank you. Oh, yeah, thanks for your concern. All right, so again,
Obi's getting triggered by things people
are just writing in the chat.
Obi, what's up with your voice?
What's wrong with my voice, Bob?
Is that the thing?
Is that the new thing?
You know, that's the new thing, right there.
You know, that's the new thing, right there.
There's something going on with his voice.
Shut up, Bob.
Right.
Oh.
God, what an idiot.
Are we laughing with him or Anna?
Am I getting old?
I think I'm, I think he's pretty funny at this point.
And he loves the boys.
And he's all lit on it.
Me too.
All right, OP made $5 and thinks Patreon is bullshit.
This is number 24.
Thanks to Huzi Entertainment.
It gave me five things.
I think I made five things today.
As I try to keep my live streams and my podcasts free.
The Patreon people have been at me for a while now.
Why don't you want Patreon?
I don't believe in the concept.
If you really need to know and I know they're a companies, and I know a lot of comedians and people
use the Patreon, but I'm like, you know,
if you're into a show and also like, you know,
we got a special episode on, for the Patreon members.
I'm like, there's nothing special about it.
It's just another fucking, another show like the free show.
He's just admitted, he can't create bonus content
that people would pay for. Yeah. That's literally what he just said. Oh yeah. There's just admitted, he can't create bonus content that people would pay for.
That's literally what he just said.
Oh yeah.
There's no way I can create an episode
that people would pay for.
They'd want their money back.
Yes, that's why you're not a major.
I know for you, that's correct.
Well also like, if you're successful at this,
if you do a good show, people want to support you.
Right, I mean the people who are really into it
are like, yeah, I actually want to support this creator.
That just blows as fucking mind. Why the fuck, I somebody gave me five bucks, and that's all I need cuz I
Think that was huesy though. That's just I buddy and I'm huge
He was talking about is huesy giving open money actively boy. He's talking to the sky about writer
It's a doing fucking redco. So I have a couple clips
I want to play all about him stopping mid-sentence
to talk about money coming in.
So he's on a couple different platforms.
He's on Facebook, he's on Instagram, he's on YouTube,
and all of these platforms now while people
are watching a video to give that person money,
and it's ruining the internet.
Yeah, absolutely.
Couple examples.
They were paying about 600.
We were paying actually around 650 for us. Oh hold on,'m going to stop for the money, money, money, money. Uh, Brian Bernard
Chloe said she $100 in stars on the Facebook. I thought that deserves an honorable mention.
Damn. Holy shit. That makes me so happy. Thank you, Chloe. And thank you to Brian Bernard
for letting me know on that. All right. So someone just gave me a hundred bucks in the middle of him talking about how parking in
New York City cost him six, 50 a month and it's going up to a thousand. Here's a hundred bucks.
A month neat. Wow. I live in New York City. Yeah. And parking is expensive. Whoa.
But he gets very excited about this money coming in. And of course, our friend Benjamin Tucker
just cannot stop giving him money.
I moved to New York City for the big open Anthony show because I couldn't handle the commute anymore.
It was just terrible. I was wasted three hours a day.
Benjamin Tucker, you all right? Are you dying and you just giving me all your money before you go?
Another $20 fine. I will find something in short hills.
All right, so 20 bucks came in from Benjamin Tucker. He's excited about that.
This next example, he gets
distracted by a compliment and then more money comes in.
And he decided also to put a hundred thousand in. I think I'm a genius.
Sorry, Instagram is called me a genius. And I made ten dollars
and forty seven cents on Instagram. I will be live on Instagram
again tomorrow. Oh my god. I'm a genius.
And I made $10.47.
Said the genius.
Oh.
All right, last example I have of this.
Now, Benjamin Tucker gives him some more money.
What the fuck is this guy doing?
I don't know.
I wish he was a no that other podcast exist.
No, what the fuck?
How could he possibly know that?
He's actively watching OP livestream.
Do you think he knows that the other podcast exists?
There's no way.
So what's good about this clip though is that OP, yes, he gets distracted and stops what
he's doing, but he turns into the comedy gold, which I mean, that's what you got to do.
You got to roll with him, right?
They love the power down there in Washington.
Benjamin Tucker just gave me $50 fucking dollars. Are you serious?
Politicians are playing a little game called divide and conquer.
The American people keep everyone fighting and they can get away with anything.
Now go have Chinese, I'm Chinese.
Dude, I'm going to go get some flays with your $50 and I'm not even joking, man. I'm
having flaming gown. I'm having fl- oh, that's kind of- alright, I think I am having Chinese
food because I'm having some flamings now tonight on Benjamin Tucker, little flaming now. Jesus Christ. That's why she'd give us
it out as an Albert. We're gonna point that out
flaming. Tony Hinscliff has a problem.
Yeah. That's a little too racist for Tony and
Slip and this guy paid 50 bucks for that
kind of entertainment. Well, he also wanted
to get a statement read that these
politicians in Washington are clowns.
Wow. Well, he also wanted to get a statement, Rad, that these politicians in Washington are clowns. Wow, what a clown.
What a clown.
Yeah.
In Washington, I-
There's a whole subreddit for that called, I'm 14 and this is deep.
Yes.
Yeah.
But this whole episode, well not the whole episode, but the second half of the episode
is all about-
I'm cackling about politics.
Politics.
Yeah.
And all we're talking about politics is not fun to listen to.
And he even admits it.
I'm not taking this out of context.
Honestly, this is a very, very boring live stream.
Some of them are killer.
Most of them are good.
This was on the lack cluster side.
I'm going to remember that for next time.
All right. Good. He just wants to watch the chatter up. This was on the lack cluster side. I'm gonna remember that for next time
He just wants to watch the chatter up didn't you know well, okay? I'm sure people saying oh republicans are digs. Yeah, the grants are dead
It should when he has hot takes like this, but that old gag like you don't vote
So your opinion doesn't matters the dumbest it's another one of those just really dumb stupid things where it's from people that aren't free thinkers.
They just follow the masses because there's a ton of us that don't vote and we make a huge
statement every election by not voting.
First off, a bad old gag.
It's not a gag.
Secondly, has people not voting ever made a statement?
Yeah, yeah, it's a statement that you're too lazy and stupid to find a opinion.
If you want to make a statement vote for a third party.
Right. That's how you make a statement.
Yeah. There's two parties and they're the same people.
That's the problem.
Opi goes, yeah, so I don't vote.
And then they continue to fucking try it out.
The worst people possible and they all get elected.
Fuck a job.
Activisionarians.
Running out of president, next election. Good job all get elected. Fuck a job. Octogenarians. He's running the president next election.
Good job, OP.
I keep forgetting.
He's a free thinker and a feminist.
Yes.
Yeah.
Good point.
This is the dichotomy of OP.
It's tired to keep up with.
Although he did do a great job of describing himself, which I appreciate him doing for me.
I think it's time passed him, I don't know, at least 10 years ago.
Yeah, I agree.
Actually, that was a funny part because he was talking about Biden.
And he goes, I don't know why this guy decided
to run for president at this age.
He should have done a sooner, but he did.
He's run for president multiple times.
No one likes him.
That's the thing.
He's been running for runs since like 1980.
You're right.
He continues to try to run for president.
I don't know why he did it this time.
I know.
I don't know why people voted for it
like it's more on.
Like it's more on.
What else you got from your episode there, Chris?
So my number 25, he goes off on a rant
and then catches himself.
And I was highly entertained by this.
I don't know.
I just know everyone's doing the same thing out there now
This used to be what I did now everyone's doing what I used to do
So now I'm like oh god now I got try to figure out how to do this
You know differently than everybody else
That's been my curse in life. I see one thing and I'm like oh now everyone's doing it's now I got to figure out something new
They're ripping me off Robin. Yeah.
He goes off and all I invented that Robin's spiel and then catches him up the end.
Oh yeah, I invented that Robin.
He didn't invent bad podcasting.
It existed a lot before OP got involved in it.
But he goes on for five minutes about how everyone came from him and
Opened the anti invented all this shit and everyone is a disciple of me and I invented everything and now I
sit here anyway. This is that airplane that's overhead starts carpet bombing
him. Would make for a better show. So I got two clips. This first one is from
the title of the show. This is called I do not have a beef with Joe Rogan. Hey
oh can you clarify for accuracy? Do you have a beef with Joe Rogan. Hey, oh, can you clarify for accuracy?
Do you have a beef with Rogan?
People are saying this and that.
And I'd rather just go to the source, thanks.
I have no problems with Joe Rogan, none whatsoever.
There was a time I was very, very disappointed when I was
getting my podcast together.
I wasn't sitting in the big seat anymore.
And you learned who gave a real shit
about you and who didn't. Everybody laughed me. Anyway, my next clip is called I Do Have
A Be with Joe. Of course. That would have been a huge get for me and it would have really
helped me when I needed it. And not only did he not do my podcast, he never fucking even
wrote me back. You didn't have his number. And that really bumped me out. Then I made
a stupid silly video that, you know, the haters have grabbed on to and made fun of. And
that's okay, you know, and I kind of moved on from that, I guess. Wow. Yeah. He's still
upset that Joe Rogan didn't do his show.
I want to remind everyone,
when OP debuted OP radio on Westwood 1,
he was number two on the charts.
He probably had hundreds of thousands
of not millions of listeners.
He lost them all.
You blew it!
Yes!
Kevin Joe Rogan had wouldn't have gotten you more listeners
now because you had all the whistlers and they
don't listen to you anymore because your show fucking
sucks. And he goes off on this long rant and you know, you
heard the seeds of it there. Oh, all of a sudden we're not the big
seed and nobody wants to talk to me. Everyone talks to
everyone else you work with all the time. They're all so
close friends. But that's not bringing that up. It's all
because of it anyway. So that's the whole thing.
And then the last story that he goes on,
and this is lengthy, I only clipped a little bit of it.
He congratulates brother Wee's on getting
in the radio hall of fame.
This is, he's already done this multiple times.
He's still talking about this.
Anyway, I thought this was funny.
I try to be more myself,
and no one has come close to doing that, like Brother Weas.
Brother Weas is exactly the same guy on air and off air.
I think this version of me doing these daily live streams,
I'm getting close after all these years.
And I've been at this a really long time at this point,
but Brother Weas from day one, this guy had an amazing
personality, think Carl Rewezz before Carl Rewezz, he's like an older version of Carl,
that's why I wanted those two guys to meet.
Now he goes on, Brother Weas' whole innovation was that he's just a personality, and that
he's just this personality on the air and off the air, and then he's the same on the
air and off the air, and someday when I grow up, I wanna be like Brother Weas.
Now listen, before I've even heard the Brother Weas show,
I heard about what a pain in the ass this guy was
at restaurants, like talk to literally
anyone that works in the service industry
in Rochester, New York, you'll hear about Brother Weas.
And he ain't the same guy you hear in the fucking radio.
That's, I mean, that's the word I get at the gas station.
Who's fucking ass, you know?
I'm just sad, yeah.
But this whole idea that that was his fucking innovation was like,
oh, he's just cool.
He doesn't know what he's doing, but he's cool.
Like, no, he sucks.
His show is awful.
Yeah.
You're fucking awful.
Everything about this is fucking awful.
And then, my number 29, he goes to tell a story,
but then catches himself with the added.
I love it what he does it.
And for years, this is so random and weird but whatever.
I like I like talking about these really strange out of the way things anyway.
So for years when I would see other comics and carolines, I used to remember the letter
too, but one of the letters had a dent in it.
And my eyes would wander to that dent and I it would bring me back to the day I watched
Mitch headberg on that stage with the microphone smashing it into the letter and it would bring me back to the day I watched Mitch Hedberg on that stage
with the microphone smashing it into the letter and it made a dent.
Maybe that's why I'm not on radio anymore.
I just thought that story was worth telling.
Yeah, this whole idea that OP wants to be the genuine OP on his show is a bad idea.
He's not a fun person to hang around with.
Nobody's his friend anymore.
And you wonder why when someone brings up Voss and he decides to start bashing rich Voss.
And what about Voss is up to?
Oh my God, I haven't heard about him in years this point.
All thing is happening.
State doing it.
What does he do what is fast too?
What can he possibly be doing without the open Anthony show?
A lot of those guys thought they were bigger than the actual open Anthony show
Holy shit, I wonder what boss is doing everyone else's show. Yeah, he's still a touring
Cabin was he does his own show. Yeah, he's still a touring comment that he always was.
He does his own show, which sucks.
But, uh, he was funny, because then Opie goes on to say,
yeah, when Voss will come on the show,
he wasn't great at conversation.
You know, he would have his quick quips and he'd be funny,
but he's, he's a stainless lane.
He couldn't carry out a conversation.
I'm like, oh, Opie, this is why no one talks to you anymore.
Wow.
You do understand that, right?
I hope he talks about how much he hates New York City.
But this New York City, which I hate with all my being,
that got us by the balls, they make believe
we're the greatest city on earth, and it's just a shithole
to be completely honest with you.
And they just take advantage of the people,
especially the people that stayed behind during the pandemic
and try to make something of it.
He spends 20 minutes explaining that New York City
is a shithole and he hates it.
He owns two other house cities.
He does not have to live in New York City
and it's ridiculously complaining about it
and then he even goes on to say,
well, the reason why we live here is because
my kids have friends in school.
Now, Opie, I'm going to let you in on a secret.
Everyone I went to elementary school with, I am no longer friends with.
Your kids can meet new friends. Yeah.
It's fine.
Why are you spending $1,000 a month to park?
Oh, he's not.
He won't pay for parking anymore.
I'm back to doing alternate side of the street parking
Which is gonna be fun in the fall because I'll turn this on while I'm doing that because you got to sit in the car for an hour to hour and a half
So rather than pay the money he'd rather spend an hour to happen his car every day
To move his car across the street living in near in Manhattan. That's gonna be a great
Podcasts like sitting your car and then like,
oh shit, there's a spot.
And the podcast cries to a hole.
Are you trying to?
There's a real car.
There's a little car.
Yeah.
Oh, I don't.
A parallel park and eight inches of snow.
And this was a guy who was driving a couple hours a day
to go feed his fish.
Remember?
Instead of just hiring somebody for 10 bucks a day
to go feed the fish once a day,
he was making a three hour round trip.
He's literally waiting to die.
He has nothing but time and nothing to fill it with.
Life has no meaning.
Life, there's nothing to accomplish.
It's just he's sitting on the beach,
talking to his microphone, waiting to fucking die.
He's creating his own hell though.
Because this whole episode is ranting
about New York City and how terrible it is
and how he never wanted to live in New York.
It was only because he had the open Anthony gig and the commute sucks, so he got a place
there.
And he could leave anytime he wants.
Oh, easily.
Yeah.
Way easier than anyone else who lives in New York.
That's right.
It's so bizarre, like, to think what I would do if I had the resources that he has in
my city. Yeah. I would do if I had the resources that he has. What?
Yeah.
God, I hate New York.
I'm so mad because, you know, I moved to New York City for the job, the big O'Bean
Anthony show.
I never really want to live in the city.
I'm a suburb guy.
I'm a beach ocean guy.
He's a suburbs guy.
He likes the beach. He likes the beach.
He likes the ocean.
Why are you in New York?
Why are your children?
It's gotta be his wife.
Move to Florida and buy a fucking boat.
That's all he wants to do.
That's not a part of a son.
No, be it, that's what I said.
And move to the son and die.
Yeah.
This guy hasn't been the same since Joe Rogan left him spinning in the street. All right, so
this is the last thing that I'm going to play. And again, people are fucking with him
in the chat. And he just starts lying through his teeth, his crooked fucking teeth.
Oh, and then they try to say that I'm losing my hair. And I had what else? What are all
the lies?
OP is losing his hair. He literally said the lies. He literally said oh, yeah, okay my hair's sitting out
But I used to have too much hair. Yeah, I remember an episode of both the gore. I had too much hair
It's of course I'm losing my hair. It's good. It's a good thing. I fucked up my career. What else what other lies?
He was showing in a camera. He was lifting his head and showing in a camera then a month later
Yeah, what are you talking about?
That's bullshit.
How could you fucking say that to me?
Ha ha ha ha.
Well, he doesn't have some advice
for Stuttering John that I should apply.
Stut John, I hope you're listening.
You're taking your last breath
and you're gonna say to yourself,
oh my God, I wasted 30 some odd years arguing about politics.
I wish I were to spend my time more wisely. God, I wasted 30 some odd years arguing about politics.
I wish I were to spend my time more wisely. Yes.
Wow.
Getting ear wax removed.
I get go to Stuttering John's website
and it's still Stuttering John Millen Day
with a fucking Z on the second line
and talking about how he's gonna take down the doughtard
in November and then two dates and fucking Vegas
that are in you know Reno and Vegas that are gonna get canceled probably.
I'm so regretful my guy who does the s-s-s-s-s-s-s!
All right I want to talk to Vity Paulino. I know he's here.
Vity Paulino!
That's the one
Oh, I'm free boss. Whoa. Hey, what's up, Vinnie? That was easy
Yeah, everything is always simple when it comes to you Carl. Yeah, you've never made anything difficult ever
That's correct my friend Vinnie, how are you doing buddy? What a fun time we had in Chicago together
I did man. It's nice to be dragged back down to talk to you.
It's more important to be dragged.
So Vinnie, you and I, we spent some time at the Airbnb.
We did a show together.
We went to the White Sacks game, which Dick Masterson
talked about a bit on the Dicks show.
He's chucked that out first.
The Dick Off was great.
The Dick Off.
Guys, what's great?
I have never in my life laughed as hard as I did the day of that white sucks game.
Yeah. So people are got damn problems.
It was the it was the most fun baseball game I've ever been to and I watch no baseball.
Because everything was more entertaining than the baseball.
I do need to hear the nacho cheese story. Yeah, nacho tets. That woman was amazing.
So I think Dick explained it, explained her perfectly. What he said, she looked like
an old prostitute cosplayed as Greta Grunwant. Yeah, that's something up well. And so she
was in a cup jersey. Yeah, she was in a cup jersey.
This white socks guy walks past her smashes or nachos into her
chest or nacho. She it looked like a yellow money shot all over
her dance. It was an explosion of chips and keys. I opened my mouth.
I was hoping for Shrapnel.
Well that was the funniest part because this woman is freaking out because she goes, excuse
me and the guy goes, I don't even fucking, it just kept walking, which is the funniest
reaction you could have to do.
Who took that in the old way?
Who took that in the old way?
Who took that in the old way?
Who took that in the old way?
Who took that in the old way?
Who took that in the old way?
Who took that in the old way?
Who took that in the old way?
Who took that in the old way?
Who took that in the old way?
Who took that in the old way? Who took that in the old way? Who took that in the old way? Who took that in the old way? Who took that in the old way? Who took that in the old way? Who took that in the old way? That level of confusion. You just like, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just was wide open. So then a tiny speck lands on Dick Masterson's shoe.
And he walks over, starts grabbing napkins.
And I thought for a split second,
he was gonna help this woman out.
And he just goes right down to his shoe
and starts feeding it under.
I was like, oh my God,
I'm so even help that woman.
He's like, what?
No, never help her woman.
Yeah.
Carl.
That woman was nothing compared to the next person we met.
Let's talk about, what do we call him, stammer and Pete?
Yeah, he's got to be related to Stuttering John from hell.
There is no way this man is not a Melendez.
You tell the story because you handled this perfectly.
OK, so Dick and I are kind of walking together.
We're crackets of drinks.
And I see in the quarter of my there is a fat sweaty mess
standing in like a kiosk a little tiny kiosk of white socks merchandise right
yeah and this dude is covered like uh... he's glazed like a fucking ham and sweat ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha there's nine degrees it was so fucking hot in shakago
yes
he was just the sweatiest mass i've ever seen
and this motherfucker is pulling shirts down off of her ass
and trying to buy
but guys close
he's not doing like a normal person to try to go to everything was so aggressive
like he's putting both of his arms to do a touch it before he tries it out before it touches the sweaty body and then he takes the stuff off and he's putting it
back on the hanger.
Oh, now, but look, didn't have anything in his size.
There was nothing in that kiosk that was his size, but he was determined to make it happen.
He was like the, who are these podcasts?
T-shirts boots.
Is like, do you have any triple exels?
No.
Sorry.
Andy, this guy, and I'm not exaggerating.
This guy was two of Vinnie's.
Yeah.
This guy is what Vinnie aspires to be someday.
So he's just, this, just a sloppy mess
and dick and I are standing there openly laughing,
just clutching our chest laughing,
watching this floppy back.
And the next thing he does still
knows shirt. He's like, I guess none of these shirts fit. He moves over to the hat rack.
Oh, wait, I'm sorry. Can I stop you for one second? Is the guy sure for you not? Is he
shirtless? Yes. Yeah. For a while. So we took off his own shirt to start trying on
public shirts. That's how we know shirts. That's how he noticed.
That's how he knows it was like he was in a dressing room.
What the f***?
You would think that he was making a spectacle himself
and he was acting like no one could see what he was doing.
It was hilarious.
So he goes to the hat rack and this motherfucker
starts aggressively trying on hats.
Like he's putting it on his head.
It just twisted it.
Oh, I decide. Rubbing make you chair all of his life
If back then yeah, all of the sweat from his head was getting into all these hats
And then he's just putting them back on the
This poor woman we're gonna get it's like
As we're doing this we are now becoming the spectacle because we are laughing harder and harder and harder
As this is going on yeah, what dick, there were three assholes at this baseball game.
He is correct.
We were just dying.
And that is due to looks up.
Eddie does that 80s whole Kogan thing where he's just like you.
Abby.
He goes, are you laughing at me? And Carlie else, yes sir, you're making
a spectacle of her. The voice of Reem and the father. It's this greasy motherfucker has
not bought a single thing. He picks up his crumpled shirt and tries to put it back on as he sportly
towards us. And he comes out towards us and I did this move that I always do what I think
someone's going to put tree in the face. And it's like a diffusible move where I stepped
it to him and I put my hand on the go, yo, it's not man. My name is Vinnie so you do this every day a lot I'm a I have a
possible face so so I say this guy's like what do you what do you guys laugh
for that what's so funny it's like bro we're just watching you try out
turkey's like well I'm not gonna lie to you guys I'm a little stoned and we're
like we're pissed drunk dude dude. We don't care.
He's like, all right, all right.
Two guys got me.
Two got me.
And that's why I like the white socks fans.
Maybe he couldn't be related to Sutter and John.
He took the joke well.
True.
True.
So the white socks fans, he's standing there and chilling out.
This is the funniest one.
That's right.
And if he's standing there chilling out,
we have managed to just use this bad dick looks at a ghost
hey bud why you wearing a woman's watch he was wearing an eye watch and let
me tell you something the alarm on this thing I had to sound like screaming
because the band was just digging into his skin. It was so tight and weird.
And I was like, I was like, yeah,
that looks like a lady's watching.
She's like, ah, my fucking girl,
but I got it for me.
I got it for Cara, her.
And we assume he just went home to be her.
He disappeared after that.
Ah, ah, ah.
Wow.
Yeah, it was a good time.
Yeah, white socks fans are animals.
I've never been in a stadium full of people who would be homeless if they weren't at the white socks game.
Yeah, like I thought they opened it just to open to the doors.
It seemed like it.
Carl, you and me, we saw people getting dragged down cuffs and they weren't like civil being dragged down cuffs.
They were the ones who are trying to bite the cops.
Yeah, they're just in cups of these right now.
They're trying to like, ah, ah, ah.
There was a giant brawl.
We're just hanging out.
There was this guy who's yelling over and over again.
I came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass
and I'm all on a bubble gum.
And he was just being aggressive and chucking beer around.
So we were hanging out with him because he was cool.
And then all of a sudden, he pulled me rotting paper.
Yeah, and then all of a sudden, everything stopped. The basel players aren't playing anymore.
The crowd's getting rowdy and I just walk over. What's going on? I look out.
There is a giant brawl. There has to be 25 people to brawl
in the bleachers and out in the outfield.
So, Dick and I look each other. We're like, we had to go over there. That's amazing.
So is we going to be like, we're going to run it over towards the commotion.
We ran to it. Ran. That's what we saw the guys getting dragged out by my cup of fans
And the guys like the guys like he was in a sense like I got the right guy
Pubs fans yeah, I know I know cuz fans are no match for white socks fans. I'll say that right now like we work from home
Point wife try to
Wrangle all these monsters and fucking chaos all right
So let's talk about your greatest accomplishment
of the week and it certainly was not the dick off
or your performance at the live show.
You've got a sign on the AEW,
Wednesday night broadcast that says Carl sucks.
Yeah, I did.
Well done, dude.
Right when see a punk came out too,
like the biggest part of the show
where everybody's watching it,
glued to their television set,
there you see and props to you green background pops out of
all the sides that's the one that your I notice is and it says Carl Sox.
So ladies and gentlemen your buddy Vinnie's been around the block a couple
times when it comes to rest let's show and the one thing that I've learned
that you use a lot of blue lights and if you just go to like any store and buy me on duct tape and just use that to make the letters, it will glow like it's lit up.
It pops.
And that's what was going on.
And like I have talked to a million wrestlers this week and a million people.
I talked to one girl level. She's in the show.
And I said, she said, oh, you were at the show. Yeah, it really good. She died. The carl sucks. I said she said, oh, you were at the show. Oh, yeah, it had really good seats. I had the carl sucks side.
And she goes, yeah, I saw that.
But everyone saw the carl sucks.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
Your pathetic nerd culture finally paid off.
I'm sorry.
I got one on last sign.
I got an Ola Creepo sign on.
Nice.
Nice.
Ola Creepo.
Ola Creepo.
Vinnie, are you going to make it back alive?
Because it seemed like you're having a little bit too much fun.
Yeah, my cardio, my cardio is incredible.
I didn't realize it was this good.
I'm killing it.
I've been in line with fat sweaty men for two days.
I got to tell you.
And I am the thinnest most handsome man there.
Yeah, I got to tell you. So Vinnie, I'm on a tax thread with Jenny Jingles, Dick
Mashson and Vinnie and all of us have left Chicago.
Vinnie continues this thread which nothing but videos of the
fadest people you've ever seen who shirts do not fit them and every
rustling about that he's going to.
Bro, you okay, so listen, I'm gonna tell you guys a story. I had to knock on someone do tell your boy Vitty
I need your opinion on this listeners
Tweeter me if you think I'm an asshole for this
But I got the same seat for AW Dynamite AW rampage and the huge pay-per-view all out on Sunday drink drink drink the problem is
The gentleman sitting next to me, you know how you said stammering P was two, am I?
Yeah.
This motherfucker's four.
No.
Oh.
Holy shit.
He fucking four.
And let me tell you something, guys,
he doesn't fit in the goddamn seat.
And he is spilling on me like a BP oil tanker.
Oh. Ah.er. Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
And you're poor, Vitty.
You're poor, buddy, Vitty.
Sit in sight, saddling a goddamn state of sleep
that I'm already uncomfortable with.
I'm like a pretzel because I have a fat man sweating on me.
So it's pretty shitty in that regard.
So I went to get services of the place.
I'm like, can you put this fucking guy back in his tank or something?
Can you get back there? Can you call SeaWorld for me?
Yeah. We're going to get a movie made to free this guy.
Fucking free Vinnie is what we need.
So I literally went to get services. I was like, this is what we need. Yeah. Yeah. So like I literally I went to get services like this.
We can do about this like yeah we can maybe move you for the pay-per-view.
But I have such a pre-most day.
Yeah.
I'm really pissed at this guy.
I've been ruined.
Can't you like turn him into your own personal bean bag chair?
It's a good point.
I slipped right off.
I slipped so greasy.
So greasy.
So like big masters and did this show on Monday where he was talking
about that. All he did was complain about fat people. And I laughed. And then it was like,
Oh, no. Vinnie, that was a great time. And thank you for hanging out with us after my
flight got canceled and giving us a tour of the Schromberg or the
fuck we had to go to.
Yeah, whatever the fuck this place is.
So listen, man, I'd like to thank you for sucking because I got my sign on TV.
Yeah, Andy and Kroes love you both.
Love you both.
Love you, buddy.
I guess I'm going to see all the WAT peers next Saturday.
Is that what you told me earlier?
You're going to be our co-host on Friday when we record this week coming up.
Oh, busy. Yeah. You're busy doing W H F A as much you're busy doing.
Yeah, not while I actually I'm going to be scrubbing breeze off of the left side of my body.
Yeah, fair enough. All right, boys, take it easy. Yeah, buddy. Uh, have fun, Vin.
Have fun. So listen guys, you
want to let me tell you one more thing before I go. Just you guys can know what a Cree
by Am, listen to the Cree Fault. So I'm at this, I'm at the all AW all out of Sandfast and
like there's VIP tickets that let you skip everyone in line and they're pretty amazing. But
I was only able to get one for yesterday. So I just brought my badge from yesterday and all I've been doing all day is just keeping
everyone in line and laughing my ass off about it.
I gotta go get a little cream.
Well, Don, hey, Vinnie, we'll see you on Wednesday.
We're recording the creep off Wednesday with Dr. Steve.
Oh, nice.
Get him on right down.
He's already trying to back out.
I know.
I saw that email. I didn't respond to him. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking that he can back out of his commitment
Not gonna have not gonna respond to it either then yeah, the best tactic is to not talk about it in this show
I would imagine well
I he's he's could be blaming it on the fact. Yes, secure all these COVID patients. I'm like fuck him
We got a creep off exactly
All right, if anybody will respond to a guilt trip. It's doctor
We have a creep off. Exactly.
All right.
If anybody will respond to a guilt trip, it's Dr. C.
That's true.
Oh, we're going to need you to appear.
It's very important.
He's a bit of a push over.
Very important.
All right, Jenny.
Thanks, buddy.
Thanks for coming on.
I didn't get to tell you what Dr. Steve's
McMaster's been I did.
Oh, what's that?
We went to the Titty bar.
All right, the Titty bar.
Tell that story.
I should have told it at the live show.
It's fucking hilarious.
Well, it was after the live show. no it wasn't I before yeah I said
to Krozen Andy those plays and he said hey I bet you I can make you take the
titty bar and he's been like no we don't want to go so I go Dr. Steve when
I go into the titty bar he's like right now I'll get it over he got a
Uber and dick and I went and I just even did the
Pity Bar and not only did he make it rain with dollar bills, I
watched him do it.
Yeah.
He was also very confused by what a strip club is.
So he actually said to Dick Masters that this is a quote, I
don't understand.
So what am I supposed to do?
Watch this go home and jerk off.
I don't understand.
Yeah.
And no, it sounds like you're, it sounds like you went to medical school.
If you understand it perfectly, I'm gonna be like, I think you got it, Dr.
Steve. So he literally, I wasn't there. But he literally walked up to a stage.
There was a stripper there. He did that move that the rappers did in the 90s with
the money. I'm the stripper. then walked out. And jerked off.
He's big there.
And I turned around and there's a there was a W a T P fan named Andy.
Um, no relation.
Yeah.
So this kid, I'm going to tell you something right now.
I swear to God, I hope you're listening to me and Andy.
You're a, you're a chubby, charitable man man he's got a chubby angel face this kid just like like a
Mormon face and I turn around I look behind dick and there's this kid sitting
rapy high dick back master's in with three
separate ones. I'm like buzzards. Yeah it was amazing., we were trying to change the name to Protect the
I miss pronounced Andy
Chandie
By the way
Real quick Vinnie just to end this on a downer you'd mentioned at the live show that we came to Chicago the cat was sick
Now I've talked about the cat in the show before. Oh, she's trying to be on the show
This is a thing that we were doing. Why are you doing this?
This is the thing that she was doing. Why are you doing this?
This is the thing that she was doing,
where she was like yelling,
and I would take it out and post,
and then she'd listen to the show,
but oh, you took me out of again, I know.
And it was kind of a fun back and forth that we had.
Well, she's passed on.
And so she'll never be on the show now.
I thought we were gonna have a payout
with her finally coming to the show.
I fucked that up, so.
So the cat's dead?
Our cat passed away.
In the bathroom. Yes
And you went to Chicago and just let it left at home to die. Would you just not leave a bowl out?
Yeah, we figured that it's exactly figured it out for itself
It was a very sad day. Go hamburger
Alright, baby. Go all right try not to try not to die
Yeah, I'm working on it. Yeah, everybody work class
Try not to try not to die.
Yeah, I'm working on it. All right.
Yeah, say it, buddy.
Work class.
And that's Vinnie Paulino, everybody.
What did we do today?
Oh my God.
What have we done?
We get it all.
We've done it all.
We talked about, of course, nope.
We're not monogamous.
We talked about Patrick Michael and his latest briefcase
and I'm in a podcast.
Well, some new characters we are introduced to Stuttering John by the way I should mention
a ganzel shittcock is here in the discord
Apparently
Stuttering John is gonna be on Kermit in France. Oh this Sunday
Shadows will give me a heads up. So if anybody wants to fuck with Stuttering John
I mean who doesn't want Stuttering John you mean enjoy the show?
We're talking about the show respectively.
Respectively.
Yes, that's...
Respectfully.
Respectfully.
He knows enough.
That's enough.
Jesus.
I'm gonna correct myself the same way I fucked up.
Brochery clerks.
Brochery clerks.
God, God.
Oh man.
We talked about OP.
We talked to Vinnie.
We talked about the White Sacks game.
So you know what that means, it's time for everyone's favorite part of the show.
This is the part of the show we play a clip from the podcast that we'll be reviewing
on next week's W-A-T- Vitty. Hmm. It sounds like that. But there's nothing wrong with your podcast player. Do not attempt
to adjust the volume. Hello and welcome to Studio 2009. I'm a course TFT and Mike
Traming. As always, is Steve Megatron. Hello, sir. Hello, sir. Yes, we are here and this time in episode 12 we're going to be talking about the toy
ads we grew up with whether they be dolls, whether they be action figures, whether they be
super-soakers, whether they be slip-in slides, I have found a plethora of both 80s and 90s
and older toy ads as well.
All right, this is a show called Studio 2009. It's from the Geekcast radio network.
This is a suggestion from Neil Purcell.
And this sounds like a dork fast.
Yeah.
Why did you pick Vinny for this one?
It's not a big deal.
These guys play with toys.
Oh, that's the only thing that Vinny did.
So Vinny had his car.
When we were in Chicago, we're all at the Airbnb.
And we're getting his car to go somewhere.
And he goes, hey, check out this toy.
I bought a target today.
He bought like a Batmobile.
He did.
And he had to pull it out of the truck to show me.
I'm like, okay.
Pretty awesome.
My only question was, how much did this cost?
Why would you, wow, V he's living his best life.
He's doing everything he likes to do.
He's making it rain with toys.
Yeah.
I liked that he said that we were drunk
at the White Sice game.
Yeah, that's a ticket.
That changed, that story changed.
Yeah, that's a ticket.
They'll buy that.
I used to trip on beer all the time.
Yeah.
Tripping my ass off on that beer.
All right, so Andy, thank you so much for coming on the show.
Anything you want to plug or promote my friend?
Oh God, I'm exhausted.
No, I can't even.
You were talking over video.
You can't talk when I get your chance.
Whoa.
Yeah, really.
I only want to interrupt people.
I don't want to.
If I plug or something, you'll plug it over.
Oh God, it's hard when they're not in a room. It is hard.roge. Thank you for coming on. Oh, thank you so much for having me
Thanks to all the great WTP fans. We all met in Chicago. That was fucking amazing
You people are so nice and so fucking funny holy shit
Oh, I could I mention and maybe you were going to we sold out of isotope CDs
I brought a bunch just out of wham and then we sold out and then Tucker Dixon got
blesses heart, lost one of his CDs and bought another one or another one online. Beautiful, you
know first-of-the-class. First class Tucker Dixon is the buying all the CDs. Yeah, but anyway,
I'll be on the shop right later. I'm decmitized, so come hang out. Oh hang out producer Chris you're here. All right, so please
Chotis again next week it might be the episode we find out what's it for all who are these podcasts?
Sleep well every pony
Of morning radio
Okay, great show good job everybody great job everyone. All right. I can't listen to that
Casey is gonna be on the show to lead
Oh, damn she's all over the place. We all got to meet Casey. She came over to the Airbnb. She was on our
Dick off. She was so
Ferred it for last
It on that by way. She was she was fun. Yeah, I really enjoyed her mixing it up because you and Vinnie and Dick are all really strong personalities
Obviously, but the before you guys together was to sit back and watch that was fucking amazing
Yeah, it was great really great. She was the cilantro and the meal, you know, yeah, she was there like you could do it out
Yeah
Casey how you doing?
She's a perfect, perfect segue.
Oh shit, I shouldn't mention talking about the live show.
Mint salad, made some art.
Oh, she's great.
She's great.
Wait until you guys see this.
This is really live show art.
Yes, this is really impressive.
Check this out.
Oh my God.
She made a poster for our show.
I will be making these available.
People can order them or I'll be printing them or something.
That's fantastic.
It really is.
That's a trapecock.
Oh, there's trapecock.
That's hilarious.
That's fucking, that's some good stuff, man.
There are a lot of comments on the live show in the internet news this week.
Oh yeah, we got internet news. Let's do that while we work on our friend.
Casey.
Casey.
Although this is like talking to Casey, I mean.
Yeah.
It's pretty close.
Internet news.
News from the internet.
From the WETP Facebook group, Puckleposts, listening to the live show, and I must say, Vinny
seems like he killed.
Brian comments, Vinny was awesome.
He was genuinely so nice and fun.
Oh, and he wasn't as fat as I expected him to be.
Stephen notes, I'm unironically surprised by how many women were in the audience.
Leo responds, most of them were pretty cute, too.
I wasn't surprised, though. Carl's a hunk. Eric retweets where fat asked,
Huck a shit!
Are you guys aware that you can actually hang out with your friends without starting a podcast?
In the Discord Weekly discussion, Weege says,
I kind of assumed someone would film the live show since everyone films everything.
Not knowing what band practice guy looks like will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Gangrenically asks Michael,
Did you meet band practice guy?
Michael?
Nah.
I couldn't find him, or maybe I did talk to him, because I talked to a lot of bald guys.
Dr. Portie writes,
The collective booing of Digi at the end was a nice touch.
Prowed of you guys.
And from the show's subreddit,
our Kona says,
I have to say I came in thinking this had shit show written all over it,
but the execution was great.
My only bitch,
and nothing to do with Carl,
is I can't get the Tom Hanks fan fiction shit out of my head.
Jit-Nobbriffs.
T-Hanks a lot.
Carl.
Oh, nice tape pants.
Sounds like Carl had a nice turnout
unlike his childhood birthday parties.
Really good show.
All things considered.
Plus, was extra hilarious that Zane, Brandon,
and those other dudes bailed early.
Haggbrookendit cries out.
Hyl hamburger.
Gamer Nizzy gets cute with.
Damn. Sucks, there's no episode this week.
Crosophane 88, I hate live podcasts. This was remarkably good, even compared to a normal not-live
episode, this was a good one. Kudos to Carl and everyone involved. Mr. The Lowe for Grees.
I thought the same thing, this could have gone horribly wrong, but it didn't suck any worse
than a normal episode of WATP. Fah, Fah, Flowheim quips. You know, I want to comment about this. Wait,
gonna get a beer. Enter 0749 plays us out with Best Live Show in a Long Time.
Very nice, very nice. KC! Hey, can you hear me now?
Yeah, I'm doing it.
How's it going?
I have no fucking idea what happened.
It was like working just fine in the settings.
It was detecting it, and then it just suddenly wasn't detecting my microphone.
It was really nice meeting you and your husband Lurch.
Oh, whoa!
You are both wonderful people, yes.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for coming to the show.
I really appreciate that.
I'm glad I made it out.
There was someone I was going to point out that came up in the net news and now I'm
drawing a blank comment.
Was it that I got to meet band practice guy and it was the highlight of my trip?
That was pretty cool.
It was amazing.
That was amazing.
Yes.
A lot of, oh, that's not going to point out. I was amazing. That was amazing. Yes. A lot of a lot of oh, that's not going to point out
this whole thing. So I call I did a thing at after the reviews with the review girls where I was
like, I want to talk to people in the audience to people know, you know, we got crippled Jesus here,
we got Dr. Steve, band practice guy Tucker Dixon. So I call out Brandon from the Drew and Mike show.
Right. And I call it Eric Zane. Yeah. And neither of them are there. Apparently those two guys thought the show was over,
went off into the lobby,
and started having a conversation with each other,
because they both came up to me on stage afterwards.
I met Eric Zane.
Yeah, they both came up into the show again,
man, great show, like, where the fuck were you?
People, they're fuckers.
You're ruin my show.
Let me hang in like that.
Maybe look like an adult.
That's funny.
I like for me was getting to meet cripple Jesus.
Yeah, he's great.
First of all, in a part, the sea of people around the guy.
Like, I thought Carl was the battle of the ball till cripple Jesus rolled in.
He's a fucking sea of people.
It was amazing.
Anyway, and I shook his hand.
I'm talking to him. He was telling me he was only drinking Pepsi that night,
because anything else would have been bad.
And Dick Masterson came over and he was one of the funniest
people I've ever met in person.
He was getting to hang out with him was amazing.
And he had a drink.
He's like, oh, CJ, you know, you got a couple to hear
or somebody's like, no, it's Hanetson.
He's like, it's really full though.
Let me like stir it up.
Maybe I can empty a little bit out.
Crippled Jesus was like, no, just hand me the drink.
And he, Crippled Jesus grabs the drink
and just dumps it right now in his fucking shirt.
And Dick Madison, who was trying so hard
to get this transaction,
did not be sloppy like this,
just gave him, it was just laughing at the top as long
as it was the greatest fucking thing I ever seen.
And CJ, by the way, was wearing his shirt
like Tom Salic in the 80s.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that button up shirt,
it was like mostly on button up.
Oh, it's great.
It's like fucking the hot bachelor at the show.
Oh, it's fantastic. Surprise, like fucking the hot bachelor at the show. Oh, it's fantastic.
Surprise, Casey didn't sleep with them.
Yeah.
But I will say that I know.
I was with my husband.
And who knows.
I've started listening to, who gives a shit.
Yeah, it's a good show.
He's done that interaction.
So check it out.
Check it out.
Casey, how did you guys have a good time
at the live show?
Oh yeah, I know we had a great time.
I thought you invicted a very good job.
I've really the reviews.
I was expecting you to both fumble it all over the place.
So you guys did great.
Yeah, we were really impressed with ourselves.
Very proud.
I also appreciated the fact that you both
changed into dresses.
You seem to take it seriously for some reason.
Wasn't expecting that at all.
Yeah, I had to look at it. Yes, and you pulled it off. Okay, so you get great job.
Did you get to meet a lot of WETP fans? Yeah, I met a time. And then so they
are walking around trying to introduce ourselves people and walked up to this guy.
trying to introduce ourselves people and walked up to this guy.
And he said, Hey, and he's like, do I know you guys who are you?
We asked him to listen to the show. And he said, yeah, sometimes.
We're on it.
So that's funny.
Wow.
Passive.
Attending.
Well, maybe that's his way of hitting on chicks.
Like I've never even heard of you.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know, you're saying a very hot girlfriend. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It you into the trial. That's great.
Hey, see, speaking of which you're like a non-monogamy person, right?
How's this working out for you?
Not more definitely monogamous.
I think I can't believe having like a random hot girl in a well done or
our bedroom life isn't.
Hold on, it's not necessarily monogamy.
I mean, it's kind of the definition.
It's literally the definition.
I'm monogamous when I'm not sleeping with other people outside of my marriage.
But other than that, I'm not a regular thing.
It's not a regular thing.
Yeah.
Well, just like Casey, I've always say like I'm completely sober when I'm not shit face wrong
Yeah, I don't know I don't consider it not when I'm
So Casey sent pictures so that we can judge yes
I want to see these hot chicks you guys are talking about
Casey any other takeaways from the show
or any of the other experiences that you wanted to talk about?
No, I had a great time.
I was amazed at the amount of women in attendance,
but they were all like someone's girlfriends.
What a hot thing is that.
Yeah.
It was funny how I met Brandon,
who he had a ticket for his wife to come, and then she decided to get drunk and brunch that day.
And didn't make it like, oh, how convenient.
Oh, I might be just too wasted to go all the way to that WTV show.
Well, honey, it is at six o'clock at night.
I don't know if I can make it that long.
I don't think I can say sober that long.
Right, because you got to be sober at that show.
Right, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
As you can tell, one thing about WATP fans picture of sobriety. Yeah.
So many sober people not falling asleep in the front row. Well, there was that and then
there's a lot of people on acid and I like it. I like our fans. Yeah.
There's one people. Yeah. Couple podcast hitman shirts oh do
That one guy had a shirt that just had the podcast hitman photo. Oh great, and it was immaculate. Yeah, it was a perfect t-shirt
I just about just about
And then one guy one guy had a fuck Vinnie Paulino shirt and that was following Vinnie around all night That was great. I had a photo of me with him as well. He was cool. Yeah, I like that guy. All right. Do we have any new reviews that you want to read?
Yeah, there's a couple
You'll can't hear that chicken screaming. Can you yes? What are you doing? You can hear? Yes?
Are you choking your chicken?
Yes, I know you're chicken. I'm here.
I'm sorry.
I can't tell from here.
I don't know why she's upset.
She just gets like, upset sometimes.
She's going to check.
Maybe she's on a tablet.
Typical woman.
Stop feeding it soil.
All right.
I have three reviews.
I'll try to speak over the angry chicken.
Yes, please. OK, first one, you need to take some time to understand
by Jay Larison. At first I was like, these guys are not funny and all they're doing is making fun of
these other podcasts that aren't funny. But now I realize after listening to them for many episodes
that they actually are making fun of every podcast and they are funny. Well, at least one of the guys is funny. The other guys are okay.
They're sort of funny. Okay. They're all funny, but I would say if you didn't like the
episode, you listen to try another one, these as they grow on you over time, like that fungus
on your toenail or cellulitis on your mom's inner thigh. Wait, is that Southern Johnny wrote
that?
It was too long, it was too much.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Four stars.
Four stars.
Four stars.
For it to be Tom Myers.
That was a five star movie.
Very marvelous.
Thank you very much.
Yes, all right.
Next one.
Keep it in the studio by Johnny F.A. and Ben Next one. Keep it in the studio by Johnny F.A.
and Benzun. Keep it in the studio. The live show is some tough
acting to act in and fire Vic. That's it. That's it. That's fine.
That's fine. Well done. Well played. Yeah, five stores.
All right. I have been a new to people for people We're gonna do more live shows because that was I'm declaring that a success yeah
Yeah, that was a blast yelling to come to Florida next. No, it's all right. It's done and I don't know
I'm not in charge and he's like yeah, we'll see you in Jacksonville like probably go to New York
I'll be there. I'll be there by myself in a parking lot
Man, New York is gonna be closed pretty soon for gonna be the only state that still has the free. That's true
We might have to do that. Yeah, I'm waiting for the W ATP in international water show
Primita triangle
Yeah, I don't know about that.
Maybe you won't get let in like Dick and Australia.
No, it's true.
All right.
Last one.
Garbage by Cal Boy Life.
I'd rather listen.
I'd rather listen to a dying cat get analy raped by an obese raccoon.
All right. Marv raccoon. Alright.
Mark raccoon is obese.
That's fine.
I think that's a word cloud.
Yeah, that was a Nickbait song.
That's a five star.
That is a five star.
Oh, very right.
And you know, you're sitting at a three star review average with
1,138 one star reviews.
I did not know that.
We have 111 star reviews.
Yeah, you only have 1,05 stars.
That's amazing.
That's a bonus episode right there.
That's amazing.
Wow.
Wow.
We did it guys.
Guys, we did it.
We finally found it.
Fuck the haters.
That's amazing.
I'm very excited about that.
By the way, someone, Chico Ruizeng in the Discord says,
pickwik pub for the next live show.
If we went to LA, and I'm not against going to LA,
I think that we would have people come out for that.
Pickwik pub would be amazing.
I say we do getards and then pickwik pub.
He does not have a video, a little tour.
Getards and all the things.
And we're ever pet your muggle, right?
I'll just, just, five below. I'll just pass along my zoom recorder
When we don't pick my putt or we don't tell guide parts for doing it. We just hey turn the music down
We're trying to block that so we're turn it down and it grows just like look at this asshole. Yeah
Guys, let's zoom through the voicemails. It's Andy's gonna pass out any second now
God, I wish I had other girls sell me that I'm gonna meet myself now. Okay. Yeah, that's fine. Thank you
Hey, Carl don't want to burn the bridge to your pod crush Tim Dylan.
I actually love that show.
He needs to get on the show.
But like everything, there's always a problem.
Who the fuck is the guy on that show who just like chuckles in the background and says,
yeah, yeah, oh yeah, yeah, that.
What the fuck is that guy's role on the show.
Like, how do you feel about a car?
Am I just being an apple?
Because seriously, like, I feel like he does not add to the show.
It's just bizarre, like a half host.
Ah, fuck, anyway.
Go fuck yourself.
That would be Ben, and it's what we base
the producer Chris character after.
I thought he was describing me for a minute.
Ben's great on this show, because you need someone to talk at when you're podcasting.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hello, Paul.
We've put the Bony Guy 69 X-Lis-Shay with Kevin back last week.
We've completely loved it.
I read them calling in as I'm just listening.
Listen to the Stuttering John segment,
and I can't believe that none of you
dunked on him with his being raising the point
of how he's different from a troll.
I mean, there's so much there, a troll smells better,
a troll's house is cleaner,
a troll has fewer stinklines coming off the speed.
A troll has less ear hair, a troll's more intelligent,
a troll's more titan and can erect a green screen with more elegance. I thank you. That's marvelous.
Yes. I want to hear Boner Guy 69 do a show with Simon and Tyler from Nine Minute
Podge and Kyle. Yeah, and Kyle. Yeah. Perfect. What's up, how it just wasn't here? So, you know, when you was offended by the Buffalo Bill jokes, you know, it was saying
you would say, like, oh, everybody knows it's about the Buffalo Bill.
I don't know shit about that.
So, I'm a part of everybody.
So, nobody knows about that.
It's very different.
In New York, Rochester area, maybe Buffalo, who knows? I'm just saying, not everybody knows about the Buffaloville.
That's fucking for that Mexican joke.
You can see it.
All right, listen, sir.
What I said was Jim Kelly, who'd been a better reference than O.J. Simpson.
Everyone knows that Jim Kelly is.
I wasn't going deep in the roster to figure out what the reference should have been.
Motherfucker. I don't know who Jim Kelly is. I wasn't going deep in the roster to figure out what the reference should have been. Motherfucker.
I don't know who Jim Kelly is.
All right, we got to talk about yes, Anning.
Can't see.
If you want to know why the chickens were so fucking loud.
Why?
Nelson let them in the house.
Why, that's you're gonna say,
son of a bitch in the house.
Yeah, he's opening up the door, let him in and then left. So he's in the house. Yeah, he just opened up the door and let him in and then left.
So he's just going in the house.
Pictureing a Texas chainsaw massacre scenario down there.
Can I point something out?
When we did the dick off, you didn't want to use your husband's name,
because you don't want to dox him.
You just, you guys did that.
You guys asked me if I didn't want to dox him, but I didn't really care.
But you did want to. Okay, I didn't, my bad if I didn't want to dox him but I didn't really get you did want
you okay I didn't my bad didn't realize yeah I was just disparaging him I would never
talk to someone so the same guy called back again boy yeah he uh about being Mexican yeah
with the car I want to apologize for the last message.
I don't think I articulated myself in the wind
which I was understandable.
Now, I just wanted to point out the fact
that these Buffalo Wheel Facts were not
as universal as you may have hoped.
I didn't even think about the Buffalo Wheel
tonight to change to live in England
because the Buffalo
Bill should not on my radar.
This is pretty apology by the way.
And I want to point that out.
I just want to point out that I'm Mexican, I'm Lacing, and that we're very hard working
people.
I don't even know how that's there to catch sticks on because Mexican is not here to grind
the fool all day every day.
You know what I'm saying?
Straight up and down.
That's what I want to point out.
I also want to say, you show us amazing allocate here.
And I've been patient for a while now, you know.
What do you pay with pesos?
Yeah.
I want to say, and much love and respect out here,
every song that's represented, dog 63.
I think I'm done.
I think I'm done sending this message.
You want to keep an under 45 seconds or whatever. Yeah, I think I'm over that, but you know what I think you can make the assessment. I just want to give you props in your show. I want to love.
Little brother.
Those at the sleepy Rodriguez. Yeah, and listen, sir, if you're upset about Carl's Mexican joke, wait till you hear what Casey thinks about Puerto Rican.
Holy shit!
It'll flip your fucking wig.
I didn't invent the word siesta.
Just saying.
I want more time from the Mexican fan.
It's the trilogy.
So Carl, this is the last message I'm sending you back.
OK.
I will say this, man.
You are more Mexican than Dick Masters.
And you know what I'm saying?
There you go.
I said, I'm 100% Mexican.
I'm not half breed like him.
So I can say that.
OK.
Thank you.
All right. Very good. I'll tell Jackie's no longer
so he said that you're a Mexican.
So does that mean you just got an M word pass?
Ooh, actually my family would be more Argentinian
because that's where we went after World War two.
Yeah, but the ones that didn't build the NASA rockets.
Okay, yeah, I got okay yeah I got you I got you
all right uh bukkaki queen called in for you oh my god this is something cocky queen
I think the crows left first a go and forgot that I was the last in his sex dungeon. Can you ask Kim to bring me back up her own eggless?
Oh and some bleeds to clean up after the Alabama hot pocket he gave me.
I love this car all.
I do love the Bukaki Kueh and this is a short one that made me laugh.
Dude, every other episode, man, you keep doing this bit where you say something.
You're like, oh, man, I hope nobody takes that out of context and clips it.
Why would anyone clip you, Carl? You're a fucking idiot. This guy gets it.
I think a lot of good points.
That's not wrong.
Uh, all right.
Casey, I think you're involved in this next voicemail.
So, yeah, I'm interested to hear your take on this.
Okay.
Hey, Vic, it's Lamar.
I can't make the gangv bang this weekend, so I know.
Something came up, I'm really, really sorry, but I need you to do me a favor.
Tell Carl, I can't pick him up on the way, so he's got to get his own ride there.
And then, whatever you do, don't tell Casey, because I don't want her nervous. It's only her third gang bang for her.
And nine guys instead of ten is no big deal. Also, I pick my friend Ahmed can make it as
well. So, hook me up, Vic. Vic is a national treasure.
Is that true? Is it something your third gang bang, Casey?
Actually, it was my second. Okay.
Yeah.
You patted your resume?
Yeah.
I'm trying, I'm trying.
But, not it actually seems better than 10,
like less intimidating, so I don't know why.
He would be so worried about me.
Yeah, I mean, you gotta build up the town.
And we all know that.
That's my grandma used to tell me, like, you don't start with town. Yeah, I mean, you got to build up the town. We all know that. That's my grandma used to tell me like,
you know, you don't start with that.
Yeah, you got to work your way up that old man.
Right, right.
All right.
Did you get a ride by the way, Carl?
I did.
Thank you.
Because my club feet were out of town.
That's right.
That's right.
Sorry.
I'm not walking anywhere.
I do appreciate that.
So this person called in from Buffalo. Hey Carl, just
calling you know that the live show was awesome. Sound was really fucking good. Not to lick
your balls but it really was. It was good. If you could hear all the clips, you could hear
everybody was really fucking good. As much as fucking pains me to say, you're gonna
get a good job. You're guitar riff that was that played live
or was that recording and also crows the crowsong about the creepsong by crows was that done
live or was that a recording. Just curious, either way, podcast on a great, keep it up,
good job guys. Sorry, I couldn't make it. But. Been here still fat even though you did a decent job. Bye.
So, uh, yes, we do have a full band there. Yeah, songs were alive,
but most of the laughs were pre recording. We sweetened that. Yeah.
Um, so we had a full band there to play seven seconds of an isotope song.
Absolutely. Yeah. And it was worth it. Yeah. The horns were amazing.
Yeah. The sound guy was annoying when I'm like, no, you're not getting the
hi hat right. Can I help you position the annoying when I'm like, no, you're not getting the hi hat, right?
Can I help you position the microphone?
It's like this might be, you might be micromanaging
that's just a bit there, car on a mic, my show asshole.
This is my show.
Our sound guy was named Flash Gordon.
Really?
He was cool.
He was.
He was really cool.
When I showed him what my setup was, he went,
once, why? cool when I showed him what my setup was he went what why
he completely reconfigured everything goes this is how you're
gonna do it I went yeah okay big sense let's do it the
up till your way and he's with us today
flashcourt and everybody up boy Rick who I met at the
live show who served me papers.
Yeah.
He was the guy who served me papers.
He's also, by the way, in my fantasy football league now.
Cause we had a friend of my drive out.
Discoord, I thought it was a bad idea.
Yeah.
So, Rup Boy Rick, that we were drafting the other night.
Um, anyway, he called it.
Hey, Carl, I barely remember the live show, but it was medium rare.
It was not well done because it was medium rare.
It takes so good.
I loved it, man.
Thank you so much for putting in that show in Lombard.
Shout out to Manny for the snacks, your dope, and then shout out to the only field male fan
who showed up.
That was great.
You were super cool to chill with.
All of y'all can hang out with me or call me back. You're great. You were super cool to chill with. All of y'all can hang
out with me or call me back. You're great. Preff Boy Ricciot.
Yeah, Manny definitely brought a lot of fun with them. Oh boy.
Props to Manny. I owe you a lot of great big hugs, sir.
Yeah, Manny, you can hang out anytime. Next time VIP tickets for Manny.
Oh my God. Wow. For sure. Yeah. Uh, I mean, we all brought paper with us because we had our notes, but that guy,
he went above and beyond. Hmm. Okay. Hey, Carlos, the guys from the live show that you
looked at, like, maybe I might have been podcasting them. Just want to say the show was great.
Hope to see you at the next one. And um, yeah, they close up.
We're the first with the band. I hope you come to the next show. All right. So at one point,
I don't know if it was Kroge or someone said his Obama here because I was going to be audience
and I was talking to everyone. Obama was supposed to be there. Of course, yeah.
And he called into what us now, why he wasn't.
And I do appreciate that.
He was sitting next to Eric Zane, I saw it.
Hey, Carl, this is your old pal, Barack Obama.
It's just calling again.
I wanted to thank you on behalf of myself and Michelle
for inviting me to your show. We were not near
Chicago at the time so we were unable to go. I did hear that crows called me out.
So thanks for the shout out crows and I also want to tell you I have a stuttering John impression as well. Oh dear. It's fucking amazing. I think it better than that.
I'm done.
That was good, man.
All these people think that was an impression.
Oh, that was really him.
That was really him.
That's due to a spot on Centering Jack.
Yeah, he follows that as J-Sog.
I'm very closely.
All right, Casey, thanks so much for coming out
and reading reviews.
And thank you so much for making the trip to Chicago.
I'm glad you had a good time.
Yeah, I'm glad I went.
I was really great meeting everyone.
And only one person made fun of my nose.
So it was fine.
Who was it?
Was it Betty?
Was it Andy?
No, I'm not going to tell you who it was.
I don't want to talk about him,
give him the status fashion.
Yeah, you never talk shit on this show.
All right, I'm going to go on a character real quick, all right?
So I'll probably cut this out in post-part. Eric, Eric. I don't know why you tried to get out in front of this show. Alright, I'm gonna go on a character real quick. Alright? So I'll probably cut this out in
post. I don't know why you tried to get out in front of this thing. You're a very cute girl and
I don't think anyone would have called you off for having a big dollars. I don't know why you thought
that was a thing. I don't know. I'm just very self-conscious obviously. I'm fantastic. Kasey,
we give your nose five stars. Oh, thank you. Is that ironic or unirritic? How long you figure that out?
Goodbye. Okay.
That's what the episode is all about! What's with this dunes around the shit?
I stink, you hate me!
No, that's not a rocker!
Okay guys, I feel like that's just gonna have to be the episode.
I feel like I'm out of here. I got nothing else for ya.
And usually I would just be like, I'm out of here.
I wouldn't even bring up the fact that I got nothing.
But I did. And we'll leave it at that.
I gotta go. Goodbye. Goodbye.