Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep284 - Cinemassacre Podcast
Episode Date: November 7, 2021Ever wonder what it would be like to listen to the Angry Video Game Nerd when he's not in character and there's no script? Gosh, when you pose the question like that it kind of makes it seem like a re...ally bad idea. And it is! Cros comes over to get angry about James Rolfe's latest project. Then we hear a brand new Stuttering John parody, Patrick Michael's worse-than-ever audio quality, and Opie's wacky voices. I think there's some Cardiff stuff, too. Support us and get bonus episodes: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
But is wrong with you Carl are you having a good time?
Are you having a good time? What am I doing in episode four to keep your discord happy to keep your inbox full of clips for my shows?
Why why would I do that? It still sucks monkey fucking pukes diarrhea up your fucking asshole
Maybe for you know what I miss penis. Are you a boner guy? What are you talking about? You should get a job, Opie.
Cause, cause a row, cause a row.
Slapperoonie. It's show time.
A W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P! Hello, Robert Dixon, Couser Rooz.
Welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts, the only show that loves to reminisce
about what their life was like when they were eight years old.
I'm your host, Carl.
With me this week, a man who balances the show with good old-fashioned
piece of love and understanding.
It's Kroge.
What's happening, Kroge?
How are you, man?
I am doing excellent.
Please go to who are these dot-counting or email address, voice mail number, link to our
subreddit, link to the discord server, link to our merchandise, link to our YouTube channel,
and that link to Patreon and Supercast featuring two exclusive bonus episodes every single month.
Also, we encourage our listeners to go to a five-star review on Apple Podcasts and then shit all over us in the comments section today. We'll be reviewing
a show called Sit-A-Massacre. This is a suggestion from all over our discord. We have both listened
to this separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand. Let's get into it.
This is a show hosted by James Rolf, the angry video game nerd, with his buddies Kirin and Justin.
And are you ready to piss off an entire
potential new fan base crush?
Yes, but their hate community,
the cinema square hate community,
is one of the most amazing things I've ever seen.
Yeah.
So we may win a lot of new fans with this.
I don't know.
So people are not fans of the cinema square podcast.
That what you're telling me?
Well, there, I mean, the angry video game nerd has been
going for almost two decades. I mean, and I love the guy. I fucking love his videos.
Yeah. And I kind of see he kind of pioneered a lot of this format that's still going on today.
And he was doing it back with VHS and all kinds of shit, you know, but the rap on him on the
internet is he stopped carrying many years ago,
all his friends that he started the channel with left.
He's now got these new guys in who are the,
his co-hosts on the podcast.
Yeah.
And they are fucking cardboard cutouts.
They're nothing.
There's nothing going on.
Let's start with the guy Justin Silverman
because he wanted to participate today on the show.
Really?
Yeah, and I was gonna let him come on,
but apparently he's on the road
with Tony from Hack the Movies
at the Retro World Expo in Connecticut,
because everything in these guys' world
is like stuff that happened a long time ago.
Yeah.
They're just reliving their childhood
so they go to the Retro World Expo.
Yeah.
Oh wow, games around cartridges back then, wow.
But even better than that, you can buy a ticket and pay money to watch me
Reminus about it. Oh, that sounds amazing, which is even weirder, but yeah
Yeah, let's talk about that real quick because when I hear some of the shit they're talking about I do wonder
Why would somebody care about this the very beginning of the show that I listen to?
Why would somebody care about this? The very beginning of the show that I listened to,
they had this guy Adam on as a guest.
And what they do is this little T segment
right before the podcast starts.
And there's a video form of this obviously also.
And so this is how the video starts off,
the very first thing you see in here.
Zombies are coming at me and I don't know what the fuck to do.
And then they eat me.
This was your first resume.
The first time I ever played a resident evil game was two
and it was already out for a while.
I had the same problem.
Yeah.
And I never got into those.
When they swarm you, and like in Resident Evil 2,
they swarm you.
And that's why they knock you to the floor
and they eat you until Leon screams.
And then it just says, and blood hits the screen.
And then it just says, you're dead.
And I saw that and I was like messed up.
Or like a leak afterwards.
I was like, holy shit.
It's time.
So that was what they thought was the best clip.
And they could be right.
That maybe that was the best clip from the show,
but that's Kirin talking.
And I hear that and I go, why would they pull that out
to make you think, I go, I gotta watch the rest
of this video.
How they get to that part.
And then I'm looking at the YouTube comments underneath.
And there was a comment with 63 likes
that is, zombies are coming after me
and I don't know what to do.
And then they eat me, what a way to start a video.
So somebody thought that that was awesome.
That's a great way to start a video.
So I hope I'm not in the minority on this. It seems like a really boring way to start a video. Yeah. So I hope I'm not in the minority on this.
It seems like a really boring way to start a podcast.
And I don't know if you listen the same episode
with Adam or not.
So I caught, I don't even remember what fucking gasp
it was the one I listened to because they didn't introduce him
until like 15 minutes in.
Okay, but I listened to the show number one.
Okay, so you know, episode one, season one,
I figured these guys, they'd be out of the gate
They'd have a lot of stuff to talk about so this is going back to August 10th of this year
This is a new show new podcast. Yes, and this was the first show post-pandemic
So this was the first show again away if it's alright
I just want to play my show summary. Yeah, this summarize the show here's my number one. It's total fucking garbage
Like puke up a donkey's ass. Okay, this show was like puke up a donkey's ass, I agree completely.
Number two is literally I'm not fucking around how the episode one started. All the behind the scenes craft that goes into making videos. It's the Off the Cuff banter from Rental Reviews and James and Mike Monday mixed with an AVGN panel.
And now, the hosts with the most.
James, Kirin and Justin.
All right, boys, let's rock.
Wow. Boys, let's rock Wow
Welcome back. Wow, I am here. I wish I could have come up with something that funny
You know what I mean? I wish I could have pieced together just the fucking contrast between this fucking rock and music
Dude, this is gonna be just like those fucking videos we made 10 years ago
Do you love mix with this other shit that you totally fucking love because
we tell you you love it. It's gonna be fucking awesome. Boys, let's rock. And then it starts
with a sigh. Yes. And then they talk about nothing. I mean, well, I think what's going
on here, Kroge? Mm-hmm. These guys have gotten too used to going to conventions and being
part of panels. Yeah. Where they can just talk about nothing and people eat it up because they spent money and they don't want to realize that they've wasted this money and time doing this.
Well, they literally come with nothing. They got no notes. They got no format.
Right.
My number three is in the first five minutes of the first episode.
I want to do this repeating segment on these episodes. It's what you watchin', what you playin', what you drinkin'.
How about what you listen to and what you, uh, reading also?
You could do that as well, but I figured we wouldn't read anything.
I don't really read.
Oh, really?
Alright, so James, so what are you doin'?
What were they smoking crack up their ass?
Yes!
Yes they were!
Dude, imagine your first episode you're like, so, uh, what do you guys been up to?
Yeah.
That's your fuckin' first topic topic and they were arguing about it.
They didn't even like figure it out ahead of time.
Well should it be about books too?
I don't read books.
All right, no books, sorry, my bad.
And on paper, these guys are all professional entertainers.
Correct.
On paper, these guys have been the business for decades.
This is what they do for living.
Fucking James has got a beautiful house from it.
And you fucking show up with an empty piece of paper.
And you're like, so like, what are you guys doing?
What do you do this last weekend?
So this is my observation about James
because as we mentioned, I was a fan when I worked at E-bombs
world. I remember bringing those videos on to our site.
Oh yeah. And they were hilarious.
People loved them. And they captured something.
But they were very well produced.
They were scripted,
they were edited, they were acted.
And you think like when you grab someone
who's famous for doing that and then put them
on a show where he's just talking.
Yeah.
Like that could be a nightmare.
Yeah.
Right?
Because now all of a sudden you go,
oh, I realize what's going on here.
They're editing these videos to shit
to make this guy funny.
And he's actually not that good when he just sits down
and talks.
I have a couple examples of James bring up topics
that he doesn't even know what he's talking about.
Yeah.
He was too like trigger happier whatever.
I forget, I forget what happens in the scene.
I think it was the cop who did it or it was sent.
Yeah, but they get them, the cars are moving around.
Yeah, and they like just slammed the number or whatever.
So they're talking about raiding things and then they're like,
I don't even know what's going on in there. Here's another example. Yeah, there's like just slammed the number whatever. So they're talking about rating and things and then they're like, I don't even know what's going on
in there. Here's another example.
Yeah, there's a couple of those.
Just, there's a little bit of things where it seems like,
okay, maybe she's not telling us everything
because she would not tell them the location of it
and she gives the reason, well, she,
I think she gave two contradicting reasons.
I mean, I'm not exactly sure.
I might wanna go back and research it, but.
I got a research it.
You're going to brought it up.
Well, why don't you break it up if I got a research it?
Well, that was the Butler.
Or no, maybe the Butler didn't do it,
but it was the other guy, or no.
It was the guy with four different endings.
Yeah, well, no, it's the one-arm man, right?
No, that was a different thing.
That was a different, oh my gosh, there's tons of examples
of that.
There's another one where they're talking about this, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, When you were a kid, your mom rented Peter Pan, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then it gets even worse.
I was like, oh, I want to watch Peter Pan again, and I grab Child's Play.
Oh, no.
And it's just the beginning of Child's Play where Chuckie cuts the head off of the Jack in
the box, and I saw that, and I was like, what was that the first room?
Whichever one it was.
That's like the cover where he has the,
there's like a part that actually had like the, right?
I remember beginning with like the killer guy
in the toy store.
Or it was the like maybe trailer?
It might have been a trailer.
It might have been a trailer.
It's only a tape or something like that.
Pretty right.
This is a conversation that I get into with people
when I'm five hours into drinking at a bar. Oh yeah
No, no, didn't that movie start with the other thing? I could have been a trailer. I don't know what get about YouTube
Can you tell me if this is their show? Yeah, it was a frustrating conversation bartenders are rolling their eyes like are these guys gonna
Fucking a leave soon
You know about this crazy Jesus Christ nowhere to go
Oh would you like you guys want some waters over here?
Or coffee?
You want to get something to break this up?
Yeah.
Can I give you guys an Uber?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anything?
Here's some conversational starters.
Yeah, here's some trivial pursue cards.
I pulled out of my ass.
The other thing that James does is he agrees with everything.
So his guest Adam is talking.
And everything that Adam says,
he has to make some type of noise
that proves he's agreeing with that.
By that point, I wasn't scared of games.
It was just like I never saw a game
that had such a big horror motif to it,
that everything, it was demons and skeletons
that you're fighting a giant vampire batch, the first boss.
Like, I never played a game like that before that was like a horror theme game.
Yeah.
Wow.
I mean, it's not only James is doing this.
Yeah.
Everyone, there's the conflict on the show is similar to my little pony.
Everyone just can't wait to agree with each other and trip over each other, agree with each
other.
I put together a quick comp for this.
This is the agreeing with each other comp trip over each other, agree with each other, I put together a quick comp for this. This is the agreeing with each other, comp.
And totally, totally.
Yeah, watch that, that's a third cast.
Yeah, that, like, right.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So like, I'm when I was a kid, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, is, Kroge, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I gotta say, when I listen back to as a co-host of WETP, I never guilty of that ever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What did you pick up on from this show, Kroge?
Okay, and I'm sorry, I keep repeating this, but this wasn't about the first 10, 15 minutes
of the first episode.
I got a pair of clips for you.
Okay.
Now, this is a topic that could actually be interesting.
They're talking about an old-fashioned.
So, James starts talking about an old-fashioned,
it's my number four, but every time he said something
boring, the speed goes up 10%.
And then, I'm not even kidding about the ending,
the ending came up about four minutes afterwards.
And this was a 10 minute conversation.
Yeah, because I'm like, okay,
I can't order this at a bar.
So let me try to figure out how to make it at least.
And you know, I mean, it's a pretty simple
as far as ingredients go,
but it's all about just like, you know,
getting it to your tastes and like.
Did you like your orange peel and the whole thing?
Yeah, I put an orange peel in there.
Some people say lemon, you know,
but I do an orange peel usually.
I've tried it all different ways just to see what I like.
That, you know, depends on, you know, the bourbon. I mean tried it all different ways just to see what I like. It depends on the bourbon.
It's supposed to be bourbon traditionally.
It tried some different brands.
That's what kind of sweetener you want to put in it.
I've even tried it with honey.
Sometimes you make simple syrup.
You're like blowing you or shoving water.
That's a product I'm trying to treat you.
You don't really like it.
Sweet, oh, this is a kind of a touch.
You don't need to do this.
You don't need to do that.
You don't need to do that.
You don't need to do that.
You don't need to do that. You don't need to do that. You don't need to do that. game, the play, you know, there's so much to do to draw if you like, if you like, if you make me a two a month. Yeah, he has two of these a month
He goes on a 10 minutes soliloquy about a drink with three ingredients. Yeah, sometimes I use bourbon sometimes
I don't use worms sometimes I use bitter sometimes I change the type of bitter sometimes I like more bitter sometimes I like
Laila less better sometimes I use soap sometimes I use bouts of sometimes I make a what the fuck ever
Who fucking could possibly care about this even you don't about this? Even you don't care about this.
Even you don't care about this fucking 10 minute speech
you're giving, and then, and then, and then,
calm down, crows, everything's okay.
And then, number five, they set up a fucking movie clip,
and then like, this is part of the conversation,
they drop this in afterwards, why?
Why would you bother with this?
And I mean, the pilot has a bar in his like,
in his like playing, he's like,
just push the button, mark booze,
and then they push it in this like bar,
just like appears, and they're just like,
oh shit, like what are we getting into here?
And it's an old fashion and he's like,
you know, it's like, don't you think,
you know, what if something goes wrong? And he's wrong and he's like what they say what what if something could
happen and he goes what could happen to an old fashion what what's
happened what could happen to an old fashion all right
dynamite drop-in Marty yeah whatever what the fuck they find to got something
correct so they wanted to prove it like see I remember that correctly and no offense if you're gonna go back and
Edit shit into the show and it out all the boring shit. That's true. That's a good point
There's a lot of editing going on just make it all movie clips because they even talk about at one point
They're talking about this event that's coming up and they're gonna be at this event
But this guy's not gonna be there. They're like oh wait
I mean we already did that because it takes them a week or two to put these things out. Cause there's tons of editing going on.
Someone's justifying their paycheck
as all I could figure.
Cause you do not need any of this.
It's a boring, rambling conversation.
And then idea that they're like,
what have you been drinking lately?
Never sets up an interesting conversation.
Justin talks about some micro-bury that he's enjoying.
And then it turns into what I call the random fact cast. I don't know, anyway, so I had the River Horse trip, a horse, great brewery that he's enjoying. And then it turns into what I call the random fact cast.
I don't know, anyway,
so I had the River Horse Triple Horse, great brewery.
I think it's called River Horse.
It's like a hippopotamus,
because I think hippopotamus means River Horse.
Is that true, maybe?
Anyway, some of the dangerous animal
and apocall, yeah, yeah.
Hippopotamus will kill anybody.
They're packet germs.
Are they?
Yeah, I know that.
They're like elephant. I they? Yeah, they know that. They're like elephant.
I believe those rhinoceros are.
But anyway, that's what I've been drinking.
No, did you know that puffins use twigs
to scratch their bodies?
Is that, are you serious?
Yeah, and also, house flies always buzz
in the key of F major.
Really?
Did you know that?
That's great.
That's cool.
Wow.
Good times.
Good fucking times.
Yeah, this one I listened to.
So then they're getting into like what they're into.
You know what I mean?
Sure.
So like whatever.
Number six, we'll start it off here.
One of my favorite bands, Judas Priest.
Because you have a Judas Priest tattoo.
Yeah, I do.
I mean, I have a tattoo of their,
their trident logo on my arm.
So, yeah.
So yeah, I like him that much.
The year of our Lord 20, 21 and you're walking around with a
Judas priest tattoo and you're fucking arm and you're
proud of it. Alright, real conversation starter.
Alright, what does that do is it? Oh, it's a Judas priest.
I like them a lot. So then here and then talks about a book
that he read and fucking just I don't even fucking know it's a mega this
Yeah, I read battlefield earth again this year just cuz I like it. I'm sorry
There's a book of battlefield. Yeah, the book like the movie kind of is a disaster compared to the book and unfortunately
It's all deep didn't like
Scientology and our on hovered being an asshole and stuff, but I actually like the book and-
What a shitload of fuck.
Yeah, what a shitload of fuck, dude, he's a famous, look,
I never read it.
He's a famously awful writer.
That's a famously awful book.
I've heard excerpts of audio books and shit
and they're hilariously bad.
He's on his second trip through it.
I don't even fucking know what's going on.
My favorite part about that was, oh, that's a book.
Yeah.
You didn't know that I'll run Hubbard wrote books.
And you just, you just fighting this out now.
Well, that's a book.
So I tell you, that's a religion, no.
Oh, I didn't know that was a religion, no.
Okay.
And they say, the first time you read a classic,
you learn about the book.
The second time you read it, you learn about yourself.
And I learned that Kieranin is a fucking dummy.
Yeah, he's pretty stupid.
No, Ray, what else you guys want to talk about?
I want to talk about, like, weird comic crossovers.
Like, that could be like a topic later, but...
I was actually suggesting, sometimes, we just talk about Batman comics.
Yeah, I was right.
Jesus Christ, I'd rather fucking 69 at Grizzly Bear while Shubbin King Kong up my ass.
Yeah, me too. Me fucking too. Me, I do. Let's talk about fucking Batman comics.
Are you fucking serious?
Well, they're nerd-crad going.
And then fucking Justin Chimes in and no offense, Carl.
Fucking Justin Chimes. What are you all about, man?
I watch a lot of TV.
Boy, yeah. I've been watching, I watch through the sopranos and watch like all my YouTube
Recommendations are clips from the sopranos
The words for me
The sopranos are like the wire for me
I cannot claim shows I cannot stress this enough. I'm sorry
I go on about this all the time watching TV is not a personality correct
It's not even a fucking activity. It's not even a thing.
It's you sitting on the couch with your fucking brain shut off,
and these assholes are sitting scrolling through a fucking tablet or whatever anyway.
Dude, it's not a fucking personality.
You watch the sopranos.
Good!
Great!
Fucking good for you!
Congratulations, you're sitting on the couch for 36 straight hours.
I'm fucking proud of you.
It's not a personality.
This is a conversation. This is a conversation that I have around the holidays with family members because there's nothing to talk about.
Seriously. Did you watch Squid Game? Did you like it? Me too. Cool. What else? Yeah, it's gonna be cold to
bro. Do you know that?
Dude, this is not a fucking podcast guys. It's not a podcast. It's a bottom-run level conversation. Like it's like what you
talk to your co-workers about. You are 20 years-age different.
You have nothing to comment with.
Watching TV does not equal personality.
Any of you out there, take it off your fucking Tinder profile.
Take it off your fucking social media.
If you say, if you talk about what TV you watch,
you're boring as shit to quote the great philosopher Bonnie.
What about my MySpace page?
Can I keep the Simpsons clips up on my my space page or Simpson's
quals are different we can all agree on that. Okay guys. Can we still talk about Rick and
Morty at band presence? I feel bad now. So they have this guy on who's Adam and this
is off to a great start. This is an interesting interviewer, interviewer interaction.
And you have a lot to say about aliens and horror movies and games I do
I have a lot to say about aliens and horror movies and video games and and all the things all those things and
Crows you came on today to talk about Stuttering John and Patrick Michael. Oh, yeah Carl
I came on to talk about fucking Stuttering John and Patrick Michael
Yeah, you're being a dick about it. That's why I'm here. Oh, geez. That's not how we were supposed to do that at all
So then Adam has to throw out there that he plays bass in a bang him and I don't know if you guys heard of this band called Rex Viper
Nah, they're all right. I guess
They're they're kind of cool. I play bass in that band. It's pretty fun. All right, so
When they're talking about Rex Viper they show a photo of them playing,
and for some reason Tony from Hector movies is on the screen, I don't know if he's a big
fan or part of the fan club.
So I wanted to go check out what this Rex Biper thing is.
Oh, apparently.
Oh, a few of these guys are in this band, including James.
James plays guitar, and then Justin.
Yeah.
Can't wait to talk about Justin's role.
Justin's role.
Justin's role.
In this band because Justin is like a, I think they call him a backing vocalist slash hype
man.
Yep.
All right.
Now, he's a very substantial gentleman and I say this with love as someone who adds a
few extra pounds myself.
Yes.
He's a large guy.
He's too vinnies.
All right, let's have a second. Yeah. Yes. He's a large guy. He's too vinyce. All right. Let's say
I'm yeah. Okay. And so he's out there on the stage and he's like kind of rocking
out, but he's like a comically large dude who has a comically small role in the band.
I noticed that. Yeah. So I have some live footage of this band. Yes. This is their first
ever concert. This is what they come out playing here
That's Justin by the way, it's gonna one pumped up I'm going to do it. You're not kidding, this is really that. What did it let anyone be the lead singer? Can I be the lead singer tonight?
Sure.
Go far.
Can I throw some props to the keyboard player?
Because that dude has taken the very idea of Western rhythms and pushing it in a bold
new direction.
I mean, in their defense,
that was supposed to be the punch out intro,
going into a song called Hearts on Fire,
which is from the Rocky IV soundtrack.
What punch out, that?
Yeah, it was supposed to be Tyson's punch out.
Again, I played many times,
I didn't recognize any of that.
Dude, I spent 600 hours this week
playing my dice punch out.
It's straight in the fucking game.
That ain't it, bro.
So let's listen to a side that we all know and love, right?
Let's listen to that.
How was supposed to be Mike Tyson's fucking punch out?
According to the video on YouTube,
that's what it said it was.
Well, I'm not even convinced that was,
again, a Western scale.
I don't think that was in a key,
but let's fast forward to power of love.
Oh, a song we all know and love by Huey Lewis.
Now, what I want you to listen for here
are Justin's backing vocals.
Oh, yes.
This is great.
For some reason, Justin isn't like a guy who harmonizes
or sings well, but what he does is he likes to be
the delay pedal for the lead singer. Oh god!
Hold, listen to this right here, listen.
I produce a grissess, Bob. I Produced a Christmas
I want to I want to see this live because that sounds fucking hilarious and again
He's a 450 pound dude
That is not missing that is legitimately some of the most embarrassing shit
I've ever heard and this guy introduces himself on the show is by the way on the base player for this bad
You know Rex Liper watch out for us. So the first thing I thought was that video of that
Yeah, and then there's a whole video of the band talking about how cool they are as a band and all the other projects
They've been in and acting like their celebrities. Oh, yeah, I played drums in Rex Viper
But you also might know me for my project in Toronto called Blippity Blop with Blippity Blop. Like what are you talking about?
Before we get off Justin could you throw my number 14
because he discusses the philosophy of his role
in the group and I think it's really touching.
Yeah, but we had the idea for this band
and I wanted to, like, I don't really play any instruments
and I do backing vocals on Rex Vipron.
I should have took chorus in elementary instead of band.
I took chorus all my life.
Because your voice is the instrument you take everywhere.
Yeah.
So that's a philosophy. This dude is like, he thinks chorus would have helped him. I took chorus all my life because your voice is the instrument you take everywhere. Yeah
You think chorus would help them
So we wanted to start this man and of course I don't sing or play any instrument So I'm the fucking backup tambourine player like what the fuck are we even talking about and I want to point out something
While the angry video game nerd is famous and is pretty popular at these conventions and has great videos like we were talking about.
They seem to suck at everything else they do.
Oh yeah.
This is embarrassingly bad. The podcast sucks, they're band sucks, this music is garbage, and their way that they're putting it out there is not even with a sense of humor about themselves.
Yeah. They're actually talking about it like they're fucking great bad because they go to these nerd conventions and it was like whoa the video game nerd has a guitar in his hands playing power chords holy
shit so if you don't mind my number 16 talks about why they started playing this style of music
and tell me if this is the most fucking cynical thing you've ever heard because here's the thing
there's so many types of music I'd be happy doing I like a stoner rock like Sabbath and like classic metal like Judas Priest.
But you kind of have to pick one kind of thing. And I thought, well, how about do something
that my audience is most likely to enjoy because the channel is a video game channel or it's
a retro gaming channel and the angry nerd has its audience and everything. So I was like,
let's do something that's in tune with that.
So the music we're doing is celebrating a lot of these retro games,
but also just everything from the 80s and 90s and a lot of movie stuff considering.
So I wanted to cash in on the people that already like my channel,
but I don't want to talk anymore, I want to play guitar.
So I thought, what could I do that these nerds will fucking enjoy that I can cash in on because I want to ring this audience like a fucking shun
until they're empty of every fucking dime and I don't care if I wreck every
friendship I have, I don't care if my credibility's out the window, I don't care if I'm on the
internet looking like a fucking clown and everyone hates my guts, just keep those fucking
pennies coming in folks as I fucking ring the sponge.
Why do we feeling that that audience can be played back to us in a few years?
Why do I have to play everything you just said?
My opening joke was gonna be Carl if you want to see what your future is like
Go to our slash the Cinematic Massacre truth because these folks they know every fucking detail
They've listened to every second of every episode and they can't fucking wait to hit out to just fucking hate everything.
I almost kind of respect them for it.
You respect the sub-rata?
Sure.
Can I, uh, okay.
Do you want to hear about rhythm guitar playing my two?
I do.
12 is like, this is after a long fucking thing about, he actually said so I wanted to have
the best seat in the house of the concert.
So I figured I should play an instrument, which might be the dumbest.
Like, why wouldn't you say I like music?
So I thought I would make music.
You know what I mean?
Like, whatever.
Anyway, I'm just observing the band.
Oh yeah, putting guitar in my hands, that's fine.
So he tries the drums, he tries the bass, they're all too difficult for him.
So number 12, he discovers an instrument, he can play.
So then I moved on to guitar after that.
And once I did that, was like oh yeah this is
where it's at because rhythm guitar. I'll do a lead. So I think everything I do is based in rhythm in some way or another. No I only play rhythm and I don't play lead. It's like it is kind of a fine line
Have you just memorized some court sequences in your executing them or do you know how to play your instrument and you understand the fretboard?
You know what I mean like I'm a rhythm player
I take one solo one night, but it's 11 minutes long
That's where we'll get each other going yeah, we can wrap this up any minute now
Many times we're looking at each other going yeah, we can wrap this up any minute now All right, no let's go around again
Of course
There's one section of the minor pentagon I haven't hit yet guys
Recipes of the 50th fret yeah, I guess we got a few more minutes. Oh, yeah, oh, you know you got it
You got a tease that shit a little
So dude Keenan has abandoned you guys hear about this. Oh, no, I fucking wish I was making this up
So let's hear about Keirnin Keirnin whatever the fuck his band plays Nicktoons number 13 Keirnin had a band with a bunch of guys
Yeah, a couple bands. Yeah, but you were always lead singer. I I was in a band where we played like what's it called?
We played like a lot of like weird
Like Nicktoons like a lot of stuff from Doug and wrestling themes.
And I sang a bunch of Japanese like anime intros
and stuff like that.
It's a bunch of putrid anal shit coming out
of a rhinoceros asshole.
I agree completely.
It sounds terrible.
You can't fucking say,
hey, I'm in a band,
B.I. screamed Japanese anime lyrics over wrestling themes.
These things don't fucking mix.
Number 15, I wish I was making this up.
Let's hear the music.
And then I recorded, I wrote the lyrics
like literally taking a shit.
I was on my phone on Google Docs taking a shit
and I wrote the lyrics.
Makes sense, that's like where it came from.
Well, here, let's play some of the song.
Oh, the lyrics. Makes sense, and that's like where it came from. Well, here, let's play some of the song. Oh, the buzz.
Fasca, ha, fasca, ha, fasca, ha,
And fasca's racing on the Autobahn.
Fasca's fun, fasca's spice,
My fasca's spice is nice.
Fasca, me, and fasca's fun.
Then you have a fasca, you're fun, the bomb.
Fasca, who would fasca, them?
Fasca, getting on the dimming stairs.
This is God awful, this is ass.
Bubbly sound or ripping ass isn't even an adequate way
to describe the music.
I agree, I completely agree.
That was fucking atrocious.
And to even claim you wrote that,
you downloaded a craft word karaoke
and fucking pretended to have a German,
and that's not writing a song.
That's like what?
Nothing about this is good.
What the conchords is like goofy,
gotten their own musicianship, that's like what they tell. Exactly. And this guy's going, yeah dude, I wrote this song. That's like what about this is good. What are the Concord is like goofy on their own musicianship. That's like what
they tell exactly. And this guy's going, yeah dude I wrote this song.
I'm a leech singer in a band. Yeah. I'm so tell to this is what I
write when I'm taking a shit. Oh boy. Okay. And who would ever want to
play their own band's music on their podcast. That's a ridiculous
like a podcasters who think their musicians are fucking morons.
So the title of the podcast that I listen to is terrifying moments from games and movies.
So this is around Halloween time.
So they're trying to talk about scary things in video games.
I don't believe that they even think this is true.
The castle levels just from Super Mario Bros.
How? Because you never saw anything like that when you just from Super Mario Brothers. How? Because you know, I never saw
anything like that when you first played Super Mario Brothers. How, you know, the levels
were bright and cheerful. And then you get to the castle and it's black and just graze
with friggin' fire. And the music was really scary. And then again, it was like a fascination
about it. But it freaked me out, especially like as you're getting close to Bowser, you
start seeing the fire coming at you. Like, what is breathing that? What is coming? Listen, there's a lot of words you can use to describe some of Mario Brothers.
Scary is not one of them. I don't think he even thinks that. He's just looking for something.
What about the dragon in Adventure producer Chris? That's some scary shit.
I'm not very sure. You remember going into that maze and that fucking weird dragon comes out?
Oh sorry, go ahead. So then they're talking about Jurassic Park
in this video game that scared them.
And Kirin's trying to figure out how old he was
when he played Jurassic Park.
I was about six.
I was five turning six.
Or I was,
That's a scary movie to see with your videos.
So I lost it on VHS.
So my dad got it on VHS and this was after it had come out.
So, so it was, whenever it was on VHS,
this was probably 94.
I was probably six turning seven.
Who gives a shit?
Who gives a fuck?
I agree.
I agree completely.
You're you're spending way to much time determining whether you were six or seven.
And then listen to this little humble brag that comes out from Kiran.
I can beat that game really quickly.
I never remember.
I can be as easy as Harry.
I can like speed run a kind of.
It's Tom.
No one told me there was gonna be both.
This guy can beat Jurassic Park.
I bet his dick is never dry.
That's fucking awesome, dude.
Props to you.
Very impressive.
So then this guy Justin,
too bad we weren't able to have him on today.
I think he was trying to get out in front of it.
I got a note from somebody.
Well, he has a very interesting way of dealing with trolls.
Like he did an AMA on the Center Massacre Truth, and it's fucking fascinating.
Oh, interesting.
I suggest anybody read it because the opening paragraph is 19 paragraphs.
Okay.
And it says things.
It's written in an FAQ style, and it's like, why were you in front of a Nazi flag?
Is one of the questions and why
are you on tape saying the N word or other questions to which he gives detailed answers.
He's not fucking around.
This guy is out in front of it and like, oh yeah, look, I know there's some video of me
wearing a swastika.
I know that looks bad, but let me explain the context of the comedy back stuff.
It's like, but I mean the dude is willing to do that. I mean, look dude, I don't defend the pictures of me with begs and stuff. It's like, but I mean, the dude is willing to do that.
I mean, look, dude, I don't defend the pictures of me with a swastika.
You know what I'm saying?
I pretend like you never took those, Carl.
I'm saying.
I think the words that you said were you're too good at Photoshop, Carl.
Yeah, exactly.
Which no one's ever accused me of.
I'm just like, keep yelling about pixels.
No, look at the pixels.
Keep making it.
Look at the pixels.
The shadows are off.
The shadows are off.
That wasn't me. That wasn't me.
So, Clouds by P and it's just way bigger.
I swear to God.
Cloud under fire wrote a note somewhere out of discardor.
The subredder said, been asking Carol to cover them
since September.
So this is great.
Justin is easily worse than Stuttering John
and would make a great addition to the W-H-T-P,
Rogues Gallery.
Now, I want to talk about Justin and the insecurity
that oozes from his essence.
When he finally gets to talk
because everyone's talking over each other
and you could tell no one respects Justin.
Yeah.
He finally gets to talk and he just fumbles it completely.
Like people quiet out there,
go all right, Justin, go ahead.
I feel that, I'm having like seven games in the library
and that's all, yeah.
That's the thing, right?
Is back then
Like in terms of horror games or games that were made to be scary a lot of people didn't have them because unless they were licensed games like
you know
Jurassic Park or Friday
You know like Friday the 13th or something like that
There weren't many that we kind of had or that pop, there were friends, like, you know, aside from something happening or like
Castlevania or something happening to you in a Mario game. Like do you
remember having any actual games meant to be scary?
I'm not going to look at that.
Thank you, Tommy. And then not long after that, he loses it again because as soon as
everyone's looking at him like, okay, what do you want to say, Justin? It freaks
about.
Yeah, I didn't watch it.
I was younger, same.
I didn't watch a lot of horror until high school in college
when I'd friends kind of bring me into it.
I watched some stuff and, you know, and, you know,
as I said in the last episode, fire in the sky,
scared me and stuff, but I never seek out scary stuff.
And when I watched it, I thought it was funny.
Like me and my sister would write like bad vampire movies
and just dumb shit, you know.
But I don't know
Which is great because once he gets back on track
They do not let him talk ever again after that like he lost his talking privileges
But the whole the whole we just talking about Halloween three
Oh, we three and how's the best one? Well, you know, it's the most Halloween of all of them because yeah, it's about Halloween.
Justin was just dismissed with the comment. It's the most Halloween of the Halloween movies.
Yeah, yeah. We don't care what you have to say. We have more important things to talk about.
And this leads me to talking over each other. Oh, God.
These guys are not good broadcasters.
They're not professional in any way,
and I don't know how someone could sit down
and watch or listen to this.
They can't, the basic mechanics of human conversation.
They don't understand.
Let alone broadcasting.
Right.
I mean, if you were a fucking table in a diner
with these two guys, you would fucking throw your tray
on the ground and leave.
This is gonna sound like I edited it
because there are two conversations going on
simultaneously on this clip.
I think it's always a big article.
I think it's always a big article.
I think it's always a big article.
I think it's always a big article.
I think it's always a big article.
I think it's always a big article.
I think it's always a big article.
I think it's always a big article.
I think it's always a big article.
I think it's always a big article.
I think it's always a big article.
I think it's always a big article.
I think it's always a big article.
I think it's always a big article.
I think it's always a big article.
I think it's always a big article.
I think it's always a big article. I think it's always a big article. I think it's always a big article. I think it's always a big article. I think it's into golf or something like that Do fucking conversations at once. Yeah, it's impossible to follow and they're both boring as shit
Oh, yeah, either of that matter here's another example of talking over each other
And he was a good friend of ours. I'm one in high school that would just do the funny thing
I'm actually
No, so like we didn't know for like day. He would kind of yeah talking to who in these clips
I have no idea and then my number 17
Sometimes there's no conversations going on and here's just and just throwing a fucking lifeline out there
Please someone talk to me please someone respond to me easy to listen to your fact
You do shocked the monkey of Osir was that cold chamber
Maybe nine snales maybe I don't know all the shit and merges together on my brain
Yeah, cuz I've been in in the hard rock and all that shit
since middle school and high school is definitely weird.
Like we'll get into Manson and Rob Zombie and shit.
Yeah, yeah.
Makes me feel like a shitty log coming out of a buffalo's ass
and landing in a bowl of M&M's.
I added the crickets obviously, but I didn't add the silence.
He's like, wasn't that like fear factory,
whatever, and he calls him fear factor. they're like that's a TV show like whatever
I don't know nine inch nails who gives a shit
He's like, oh yeah, and then fucking I was bad at high school. Okay, great wonderful
Yeah, there's a fucking even get into there's a lot of conversations around movies and music where they go I
Used to know that I don't I don't really know that anymore
Why are you guys talking about it that there's people who know this shit who could be talking about it? Yeah
I have an idea come up with two or three maybe four topics seem like a lot for Justin before the show starts
Take some notes do a little bit of research
Know what you want to talk about ahead of time and put together a show.
I know you have a nice studio.
I know you have nice cameras.
The lighting is good.
Everything about this looks professional,
except for the talent.
The talent lacks any type of professional, anything.
Yeah, in a band he's the human delay pedal.
So why is there any silence when he's around?
Yeah, you can just be like, yeah cool, cool, cool.
Justin's great great great.
And if I could throw some other advice out my number 18 maybe visit planet earth every once in a while
This is like just an aside. I'm being nitpicky, but this blew my fucking mind number 18
Me and my friends just watch and slipknot and we're just like holy shit like what the fuck is going on
Yeah, I saw them on Conan the first time I ever saw them in my life and they freaked me out as a kid
I was like on like you went to the Conan show. No, no, no, I watched them on TV on Conan and Ed
What could you imagine saying to somebody like I saw it's whatever on SNL?
I'm like, oh you went to New York City and watched that in life and person no, I turned on a TV
I was in a fucking bar and the TV was playing like,
one of the chances that he was in the studio audience
that day, what percentage of people who watch Conan
are in the studio audience?
And it's not like if this was a conversation
about being in the TV studio.
Like, you were there?
They were literally talking about the first time
they were exposed to bands and they're like,
well, oh, you were there.
It's like, unfuckin' believable.
And then, as an example of people talking over each other,
number 19, he tries to get out a story about my hero,
David Lee Roth.
And David Lee Roth opened, and like that guy,
like in his old age, he is still just on fire.
He's still the thing with the bow staff and everything.
No, he doesn't go as crazy as he used to,
but you could tell the whole time,
he just has this big smile on his face
and he's like,
are you having a good time?
Are you having a good time?
You still drink a handle of Jack Daniels more?
I doubt it, I don't know.
Yeah, and he just shut him down.
I doubt it, I don't know.
That wasn't David Lee Roth.
Who would drink the Jack Daniels at stage?
Now, they even brought up David Lee Roth and that's the only clip I could get listen to me closely
This these are words I never thought I would say you shut the fuck up and you let that man tell his David Lee Roth story
Speaking of David Lee Roth he didn't drink Jack Daniels
He did a lot of cocaine and there was a cartoon clown based on Davidly Roth
in a show called Metal Ockleps.
And he's also a complete joke,
and he's decades away from being able to sing in key
if he ever sang in key.
I'm setting up a clip, Crows.
I'm about to hear you're talking about Davidly Roth
with you.
We did an entire episode out there.
I am.
We did an entire episode out there with you,
Ralph.
What a go, glory days.
Carl, that episode never ends.
It never does.
For me.
So, Kieran was to tell a story about a funny metal ockelops episode that no one's seen or
cares about and this just gets awkward and sad.
They're like we found this this ancient scroll in your village and they go to like Norway
and they sing this metal song that awakens most to crackish this this old like lake demon and
It awakens because death clock sang the song that awakened them up
So then they have to get them back in the way they have to do it is they have to play like the old like lutes and everything like
They can't use the metal music. It's pretty good. Oh
Metalocalypse was pretty great. They're polite to care in for some reason
Yeah, that was just that they would have shut that shit down.
No, we didn't see it, we don't know, whatever.
It's like talking with child.
Like if you got kids or nephews or whatever,
like they'll tell you about a movie they saw
and they'll tell you everything they remember about the movie.
It'll take them two hours of describing to our movie.
I have a perfect example of that.
Tell me you haven't heard this conversation
coming from a 12 year old
who just got back from the arcade.
This is Kieran again.
I mean, the first person that I fought in Mortal Kombat to the first time I ever played
it, I was scorpion because I recognized scorpion.
And I played against Baraka and he's, when you see the portrait of him and he's just got
that face with the team.
Many as claws.
Scared the shit out of me.
And I remember he just killed me, just kicked my ass.
I was like, and I got destroyed.
Those are the words.
Think about it.
Would this be interesting to you?
What do you listen to this?
Seriously, my first instinct is to go really little body
than what happened.
Oh, did you have another token?
Did you go, did you try again?
I bet you'll learn some moves if you keep practicing.
Like, oh, fuck, man. That's rough. That's rough. It's surprising to me that these guys, I bet you'll learn some moves if you keep practicing like, oh fuck, man.
That's rough.
It's surprising to me that these guys, I don't know what happened when they were children
if it was the greatest times of their lives, but guess what?
Your adults know.
Enjoy it.
Why are you so obsessed with when you were a child losing a mortal cop bat?
Now you're an adult, you can do whatever you want.
Get all the quarters you want, buddy.
Go play all the games you want.
Now, one of the wraps on our buddy James is that he's not involved
in the angry video game nerd anymore.
The scripts are written for him by the screen wave
or whatever the company is that he sold part shares in
and that's where Justin and Karen had come from.
And so, you know, he used to be this talented guy,
but now he's just cashing the checks as the whole wrap.
But so that when they bring up video games,
they are like, well, what video games are you playing?
I mean, you're the angry video game nerd.
Sure.
The whole fucking mansion is built on the profits you made
from fucking reviewing video games.
Like you must have a deep love of video games.
You must play them in your spare time.
Two clips for you, number 10.
But yeah, so you guys have been playing any games
or anything?
I play games with my kids sometimes. I mean, one of them is eight. The other one is three going on four.
So the eight-year-old is much more advanced with them. And actually, she knows a lot more than I do
about a lot of games. Like she knows more about like animal crossing and uh, um, but we play Zelda Breath of the Wild sometimes still.
So you occasionally pick up your video game controllers to entertain your children,
which I mean, I'm a father, I do the same thing, but like,
ooh, that's not a great sign. And to be like my eight year old knows a lot more about video games than I do,
like, oh, that's also not a great sign. And like no offense, it's been years that I've been going to my kids, like,
dude, my iPhone settings, I can't,
and my son is like, dad, you fucking idiot,
you click here, you just,
so I'm not trying to like talk on the guy,
but like, it's not looking real good
for let you actually give a shit about video games, right?
They should have opi out and talk about Candy Crush.
So then, they get into what video games
when you're not playing with the kids,
and then you can
metaphorically hear them kick in the guy under the table like what about the video games you play for the channel dude you remember remember how you play video games for a fucking living there's
nothing really else that I've um yeah because I don't consider like doing abg an episode is
a recording stuff for that like that that's like work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like that. Then what I what you see in the nerd.
There you go.
A bunch of crap.
Yeah.
What have you been playing?
Oh, you know what I play?
I play shit.
Yeah.
You play good games.
But Millie Vanille, remember when you were singing last night?
Remember, remember last night on stage when you were singing.
Remember?
Tell people about when you were singing. You remember,
come on. The, uh, the whispers in the show I'm fascinated by. Yeah. Anyone who'd actually be
interested in what these people have to say at the end of the episode, they take questions
from the listeners. And I found this to be the laziest question ever asked of someone.
And finally getting the question
He's at man called underscore hondo. What's the weirdest question you've ever been asked and what's the answer to that question
inquiring minds want to know
I'm a question. I never asked you a good question
Because I'm not going to I'm gonna fucking lazy question is. And I was looking at the YouTube comments on this video,
trying to figure out, do people like this?
Are they into it?
Melissa says, I really hope there's going to be a podcast episode
about how you guys celebrate Halloween,
maybe favorite childhood memories of trick or treating,
et cetera, et cetera.
Great.
There's another part we're caring talks about how
his parents were divorced and his dad
were taking him to the arcade and someone wrote,
my divorce dad took me to arcades every weekend too
That's why I'm such a huge arcade game fam. Yeah, that's some that's some shit. You tell your friends not not the internet people on the internet or not your friends
Not the internet. You don't mean I wouldn't confess that to fucking donkey Kong
Except Carl and I Carl and I are actually your friends and we
love you deeply. But I know what else in the internet gives you. We'll hang out with you every Sunday
afternoon, buddy. Exactly. We're here for you. So, uh, number 20, they're not even interested in
the answers to the questions they get. When it was cinematic, it was more like, um, it can't
be say, I don't know how deep you want me to go on this or how interesting it is, but like my friend
Kevin Finn, uh, I met him in high school and he was like the first guy I met who also made movies. I don't even know how interesting this is
Somebody asked him about the logo and he starts talking about all the revisions of it
How started in Mario paint how it used to be a different name and
Gers the fuck cares
Um, he also got a little defensive at one cut
So one of the other weird things about this channel that like wears people out is that
it started as this cast of characters
and you got to know all the people at over the years
and they make these videos together
and chat and formally and stuff.
And then one by one, they just disappeared
and they're never spoken of again.
It's like the Howard Surn show.
One day Bob Levy's not there
and no one ever mentions his name again and that's that.
And it's, you know what I again and that's that and it you know
I mean it's that kind of vibe and all of a sudden these new guys are here and they're never introduced
They never like oh here's my buddy Justin just one day Justin's there talking you're like
And what happened that guy used to like anyway, so first show first question somebody writes in about the old crew
And they get a little defensive I thought as a fun to bring up Mike final question here from Reddit
I'd like to hear James talk about Bootsie Kyle, even Mike, even if they won't be featured
in more episodes, it'd be great to hear something more than just like, oh yeah, they're still
around, good memories and stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
I know they have their own lives and these guys are part of Cinemasqueer, lots of fans
that I don't know what happened to them.
I'd rather fuck a porcupine and shove a cactus up my ass.
I'd rather have a mountain lion dump its ass all over my face
You could just say you don't want to answer the question or you don't want to talk about you don't know how about this Grosch
Leave something leave some mysteries out there this whole show is about behind the scene shit from this YouTube channel
That's 3.55 million subscribers. Yeah, there's all of these fans are like okay
We're gonna do a podcast about the behind the scenes shit.
I have a question for you,
we have all those people who used to be out here.
We don't want to talk about it.
The way you do it behind the scenes podcast about it.
And then they throw out,
this was a weird shout out, I thought.
Friend of the show, Tony from Acta Movies,
20thown.
And if anyone cares about Tony from Acta Movies,
from rental reviews, he's still doing HACTA movies.
In fact, that set is right behind these cameras. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, if anybody gives a flying fuck about producer Chris, I mean, he's in rear, buddy.
Aren't they all so friends? They sound very contagious.
They're not weird. They're contentious. That's weird, right? That was odd.
Look, if anybody gives a shit about that, what's the point of that?
Interesting.
I just have a couple more cups that I want to play.
Yeah.
Keying and unjustine, they're talking about Lake Monsters
because apparently James is like really into Lake Monsters.
And so, Justin's got some interesting points to make
about just monsters in general.
I think that the problem with cryptids,
especially is you kind of assign human intelligence to
bigfoot and moth man and lake monsters. So you assume they're up the no good or if you're
gonna try and find them, they will somehow outsmart you rather than they're just like animals
doing their own thing. Because if they were just animals doing their own thing, you would
see them way more. Like if you go on the ocean, you see whales and shit and whatever all the
time. Yeah, they come up for stuff and, whatever so wait that's such a good point
What's he talking about and then they ask if he believes that Lake monsters are real and this is Adam first answering the question
Yeah, do you think it's fucking real the lake monsters? It could be sure why not
Neutral now neutral on it. I don't think so, it is fun. I will see there's probably
some shit at the bottom of the ocean. We shouldn't be stirring up, but yeah, I don't think Lake
Monter's are real. Boom! I take! Look, Lake Monter's bullshit! Godzilla at the bottom of
the ocean waiting for nuclear radiation to arise from his water grave to destroy Tokyo!
That's some real shit! Probably. But don't hit me with his lock,
man, it's fucking nonsense.
That's ridiculous.
Fuck you.
And then the last clip I want to play here is Adam
talking about an amazing thing that happened.
He grew up in Brooklyn.
Yeah.
And he wrote his name using chalk on a brick of the building
that he grew up in.
Are you serious?
I drove back to where I grew up in Brooklyn
and I wrote my name on a brick in fucking chalk on my house
and it was under an awning and it was still a little bit there.
Wow.
This was like 2016 or so.
That's fascinating, please go on.
Dude, I took a shit in Carl's bushes two weeks ago.
That's still out there right now, you should fucking look at it. My way thought that was a deer. Please go on dude. I took a shit in Carl's bushes two weeks ago
That's still out there right now you should fucking look at it. I thought that was a deer Yeah, I thought that was why you hadn't been returned to my calls
Oh boy, all right. What else you got out here? So I got two technical things. I want to discuss okay
This is one of those shows where they literally kind of randomly cut the ads in.
So 23 is them, again, not me, this is just putting an ad in mid-word, mid-breath.
We had to kind of choose what we were going to do because Justin, you brought up to me this
idea of doing this fan power extreme.
Yeah, you know when you order a new video game or a golf club or a blender and then it arrives
at your door, you get a little thrill.
That actually came in mid-yeah,
which chits are, it will come in mid-the-word-yeah.
But the show is mostly the word-yeah,
as previously pointed out.
And then, so number 24,
there have an conversation about a guy
that's teaching James some guitar.
And then you'll hear it,
they went back later and caught in a new clip
to clearer explain how you can get guitar lessons or whatever
Okay, but they left in all the other shit of him getting it wrong. So like if you're gonna edit it
Clean it up, but they don't and it just I don't know just listen so weird. That's fun
Yeah, I even brought out an ape string guitar just for that one
Well, which was sent by my friend Mark Mark Miller teaches a sound theory he teaches a
guitar lessons. Mark teaches guitar lessons at soundtheorystudio.com. He is like sort of like helping
me with the technical aspect and music theory. Dude you don't need an eight-string guitar.
I'll help you right now. Let's work on six. Let's get six down first. Eh, why would you fucking bother?
Well, he didn't get it wrong.
But he had to go in there and plug the website
or something like you couldn't Google it and found that.
Yeah.
You get the feeling a lot of stuff is like,
I was kind of talking before we heated up the mics.
They just put out a video last night where there,
it's a sponsored video from
Oculus and they're reviewing some fucking you know thing you strapped to your
fucking head and they're playing a game but they edit out all the titties and
and and the chip from the game so who gives a shit right and then it's just the
two assholes it's not even the guy you care about yeah and they're only talking
about how great this product is and it says right on the front this is a sponsored
thing and it's I mean the dislikes are 50-50.
It's like the ratio is out of control,
which in YouTube world is a big fucking deal.
Like, they're fucked.
They've been ringing this munch,
and no one wants any, that's no one gives a shit.
And sorry, I'm going on about the lore.
He just did his 199th episode as the angry video game nerd.
Yes, 200's coming up.
And there's no word on when it could be.
There's no one knows what the schedule is.
Could it be the Christmas episode this year?
Could it come out early?
It's like, oh my god, and people are for once in a fucking
decade actually giving a shit about what's gonna happen
on this channel.
And that's what they're putting out.
Here's a half hour fucking commercial about two
assholes you don't give a shit about.
Playing a game you can't even see the cool fucking parts
about with some bolts that you can't afford.
No care about. who fucking cares anyway here are my final thoughts on the show
Any final thoughts James. I got a piss. Yeah, I do I do too actually. Yeah. All right, let's go pee
Thanks for listening to this episode of the Cinem massacre podcast
See you next Tuesday
Check out more episodes at Sinemasica.com.
No, I don't think I will. I'd rather drown in diarrhea. I'd rather fucking eat my fucking balls off
and puke them up my fucking ass. I'd rather piss a cactus out of my dick. I'd rather
eat out the rotten ass hole of a road killed skunk. Correct. I would rather eat out the rotten
asshole of a road killed skum than ever listen to your
shitty podcast again.
Get it together you fucking idiots.
You got three and a half million tuned into this shit and this is what you're putting
out.
You should be ashamed.
You should look at the mirror and be fucking embarrassed with yourself.
This is the level of quality that you think is fucking acceptable.
Are you fucking serious? It's embarrassing and the fact that they have three boy five million subscribers and only a hundred thousand people watch these videos tells you a lot right there
It's un-fucking believable what you guys are doing and your job is easy dude
You know what came out fucking Robocop do a fucking thing where you just talk about Robocop
You know what else came out fucking Rambo you know it's cool's cool? Rambo, you guys want to know about Rambo for a little bit?
That would be more focused than what they're doing.
What they're doing is fucking nonsense.
I've read more focused conversations on a bathroom stall.
I've had more interesting conversations with fucking inanimate objects.
Well, blind drunk.
Fuckin' awful sucks.
But other than that, I have no opinions.
Keep up with the good work, fellas.
Alright, well that was fun.
Good times.
Good times, everybody.
It's an massacre.
Oh, I should play this because we did get a recap of last week's episode from Cardiff Electro.
Oh, good.
In case you missed last week or you forgot what happened.
I did.
This was Cardiff Electro with a recap of what you may have missed on last week's episode forgot what happened. the work. Humans started off not playing any games with Carl and refused to do the WATP
stick at the beginning of the show. The show was focused on Virgin Radio in the morning
from Toronto. What a great show! I can't wait to find out how many houses out of ten
the little boy got candy from. Next, Julie jumped on so that this triad of hate could pile
on the great stuttering John Melendez. Clips were played out of context as per Yuzh and Shulile.
Then Scorke brought us some weird news.
Next, Carl was jealous that he never got a science edo who puzzled from the Ulster.
Heant left before admitting to sabotaging OP Scooter.
Then a tease.
Guess what, Carl?
You played the wrong bumper for the tease.
Again, then Patrick Michael talks.
Cardiff, there was a great review segment this week
because pick and case he wore no shows.
Again, you play voicemails.
Now for this week, take it away, Carl.
All right, thank you, Carl.
I could not make out the whispering underneath that clip,
but I'm all of a sudden very sexually attracted
to Cardiff Electro.
I don't think that's what he's going for,
but I could be a rung.
So what he forgot to mention is that I forgot
to do cringes of the week last week.
You passed the week.
Cringes of the week.
I can't believe we didn't get more complaints about this.
I trusted you, Carl.
You know, I get Anthony on and Shuley and I'm all excited
and I'm forgetting to play cringes of the week
and we had a couple of good ones ready to go.
One of these was the Neatcast
and this came in from Adam Thurow.
This week while driving,
my car hit 69,690 miles.
Oh, hell yeah.
Nice.
You did, you mistaking a picture at 69, 420?
I did, I was at like 69,530, and I'm like,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Damn it, that would have exploded our social media. I know, fuck. Like fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I don't have enough people to share it with, I have to make new friends in order to share it with more people. Oh my God. Here's another fun one.
This is always room for more M-O-O-R-E.
So I'm assuming that's somebody's last name.
Yeah.
Yes, this one.
The secret address is 25% THC.
Could you imagine if that was an address?
What 25% to you see but what if percentages were counted in in housing? That'd be weird
This is 25% such and such Avenue
You ever been that stone Chris wow
What if Apple was located at one infinite loop? Man, that would be fucking wild.
Double rainbow.
Thank you, Adam Thoreau.
Keep those coming and speaking of Adam Thoreau, he put together a new song for us.
Oh boy.
Featuring my buddy, Stuttering John, this is a song called, Super Chats.
He's a swollen alcoholic, the kind who drinks He never let you down in bed Unless you're a hot Mary lesbian He forgets his dick pills at the pick wig He never let you forget
Could rememble your borrows He says all the time and you know that he's lying
No issue with the cockroach He's not right, no, he's not bright. No, he's not getting paid
He needs super jets super jets to pay his bills. Yeah, now
Thanks for the two bucks
Very well done
Guys two for two all-round perfect. Yeah, I really want to leave them one more. Yep, that was very well done
Which leads me into our next segment
What is Southern John Oh, I'm sure that it has been. I was listening to a recent episode this week where he's talking about Trump.
Oh, good.
Which is important to talk about in November of 2021.
So much to talk about. Let's try. He lost a year ago. All right.
You got a strike with a higher talk, Carl. And apparently, John can sum him up pretty easily.
That's right. Donnie, you failed at everything you've done and you certainly failed as a president.
Now I know you're a Biden guy, Crush, but it's failure the right word to use for Donald
Trump.
The guy's accomplished a lot in his life.
I don't know, failure, like Stuttering John, I wouldn't even use failure for him.
The guy's actually accomplished a lot more than he should have in life.
I wonder who he's talking to though.
You know what I mean?
He's using the word Donnie in that, but like,
there's something else in his head.
There's always something with that.
So John had his beer on the balcony last week
when he was in Vegas.
And if you remember on last week's show,
I talked about how the female comedian canceled
on him.
Yeah.
And he said, that drunk angry tweets.
He was all fucking bad.
Yeah.
Well, guess what?
That was his strategy all along.
Oh.
By the way, beer on the balcony today, female comedian, like a promote in all week, thanks,
Carlie Martin for the super chat Saturday, super sticker, thanks for the two bucks.
Everything helps.
Um, yes, I do have a female comedian on for beer in the balcony.
I know I tweeted something after throw people off because I know they try and troll and find
out who I am.
So I tweeted out.
I was mad that somebody canceled.
No, she's coming on and she will be on at today at two.
So the tweet that he deleted after tweeting it,
he says he did that to throw people off
so they wouldn't know who was gonna be on beer on the balcony.
How does that make any sense?
That's such a terrible lie.
It's not even close to being anything that's possible.
And John was doing this show where he was not the headliner
when he was in Vegas.
I don't know if you guys know about this, but he was opening or featuring for Tonnily
Davis. And Tonnily Davis was the guest of the end of having a beer in the balcony. I'm
guessing it went something like this. Oh, the comedian that was going to come on canceled.
Could you come on, beer in the balcony? And that's why he was able to get this woman on the show
because they were doing shows all week in Vegas.
And while John was in Vegas doing the shows,
people are letting him know what a great job he was doing.
I stay in the freaking casino, I don't go anywhere.
I just lie down, I perform the shows, I kill it.
And you know, it's always nice after the show like you have people come up to a great show.
You see people at the casino.
Hey, a great show, make your funny as fuck.
It's always great.
It's very humbling.
Humbling?
Sounds like just the opposite.
Yeah.
I don't think it's humbling when someone tells Johnny's funny.
I think it reinforces
everything that should not be reinforced reinforcing this guy's mind.
There are so many words I would use to describe
Stuttering John, but humble.
And not on that.
John's humble and Trump's a failure.
All right, this is what we've covered so far.
I've everyone's following at home.
So this, Tony Lee, do you know Tony Lee Davisus?
Are you familiar with this person?
Someone posted a peck here in our discord.
So, Tanulee is a little person.
She's, I think, three foot six.
Wow.
Very short person.
Yeah.
And Judd's featuring, he's the middle act for this.
Let's hear some of Tanulee's stand-up.
Shall we? He's kind of standing on her shoulders basically. Let's hear some of Tony Lee's stand up. Shall we?
He's kind of standing on her shoulders basically.
I love this time of year.
I love shopping.
Oh my gosh.
I totally love it.
I get very excited when I go to the shopping mall.
Get really excited and I start running for the doors.
Right?
I go and shop and I'm running for the doors.
Oh, they have the automatic sensors on the doors.
Right?
Jumping up a damn, come on, let me in!
I have shit to do!
Actually, I gotta throw my hand back up in the air
just so I can get in the damn place.
But this is the time of year where I can go guilt-free shopping.
That's what I call it.
Because I have the best intentions when I go Christmas shopping.
But that always seems to be the time where I find the stuff I like for me.
Yeah! I found some stuff I like the other day.
I go into the fitting room. I close the fitting room door and where does the bottom of the door
come to? Here!
Put your arm right above the boobs.
There I am. Got my big fat ass hanging out to all the customers. She brings all the boys to the yard.
So John's doing his jizzing all over his stomach and then squeegeeing it with his underpants
joke.
And then this one comes up and does that killer material. Wow, I can't think of anything better than
you in Vegas. I do enjoy that show. Great stop. Together it lasts. Great stop guys.
Really good. It grows at a loss for words, which is saying something. I couldn't get
a shot up 20 minutes a cow. Is she single? So then after this, John's talking about what a great job
he did in Vegas, and now he killed it.
He's talking to his old friend,
Hell sparks his back, spit a little while.
And I think Hell back.
Well, I think Hell started to get wise.
No.
I think he started to get wise.
There's a few things happening in this clip
that I want you to listen for,
but it starts with John telling him how funny he was in Vegas.
And then John slips in a, hey, maybe I could even open for you, Hal.
You know, like maybe if your feature didn't show up someday and listen to Hal respond
to those.
Like it's 14 shows last week.
Four.
Yeah.
Dude, that's great.
Any of them good?
Yeah. Oh, good. Good come on it's me out
If Charlene can never open for you. I'll you know, I'll certainly do it. Oh, I'm for it. I think it's great idea
Tempe improv yes. Yeah, so I've done plenty of shows there. I know I have no doubt
Yeah, I do most money at the tempi improv how one weekend
17,500.
There you go.
All right, and that was just gambling.
Maybe I think I have a minute.
All right, congratulations.
Good.
This guy is in show business.
And he's breaking him up making $17,000 in a weekend and a comedy club
What's wrong with him? Well, just how I'm
How is like when you're fucking grandma will not shut up on the phone. He's like, okay?
Yeah, okay. Yeah, oh, yeah
He wasn't out of this conversation
Repeatedly yeah, can we talk about the doughtart now? What's going on? Why are we still talking about you opening for me and Tappy?
Oh, that dude is just oozing get me the fuck out of here.
And please, just shut the fuck up.
Okay, alright, I will, sorry.
I love it. So the other thing that happened on this show this week is our friend Cardiff Electric.
Oh!
Finally gets recognized by his buddy, Zettering Jop.
He's a big day.
Oh, yeah.
Cardiff electric, I am not unblocking you.
You're a trouble maker.
Stop telling Monique from radio,
gonna fit on bad mouth in it, because I'm not.
I love Monique and she's a friend of mine.
You're a freak control, so just get lost, okay?
I gave you your attention.
You should be very happy.
You could go jerk off later.
I will say Cardiff needs a lot of attention. Yeah. This is true. You know, I kind of liked
Stuttering John, but now that he's bad mouth, Carter, for like, right. Yeah. He went too far
this time. That's that's a great. You were on his team. I was. I really was. You had the
Stuttering John T-shirt. She'd wear it all the time. Yeah. It says out of the bowed-on
fire right on the back of the T- coming out of the boat on fire. Oh
That would be a fun t-shirt. We should do that. All right, so
Apparently some of the trolls are telling John. He's not even gonna go to Washington DC. No
even though
He's going to I mean he's been talking about since June and hasn't happened yet, but
He's gonna prove to you that he's definitely going to Washington DC.
Keep in mind, I know there are these trolls who like to say, oh, John's not going to DC.
Really?
Then why did I fly to New York, book a flight so I can take an Amtrak DC, get Doug Goodstein
to find me a crew, pay Adam Huntett to help me write questions.
Really?
Really?
The only thing that's holding me up now is I just got back.
I don't think I want to like,
leave another week.
Ha ha ha ha.
I was gonna go.
I flew to New York.
That's not even close to DC and that's where your mob lives.
I know, but there's a train I could have taken a train there
All you motherfuckers telling me that I'm not going to Seattle then why did I buy they ticket to Tucson?
Don't get you there
Remember who asked don't good seem to do me a favor that proves I'm definitely gonna go there
I know and this whole thing of all this shit that he could easily do himself is.
Welcome, I didn't pay this guy to do this
and this guy's gonna do this, this guy's gonna do this.
Yeah, they'll just show up with a fucking sound one.
He gave me a hundred bucks to write questions
for politicians, he's like, I mean, this proves
I'm definitely gonna go to DC.
Holy fuck.
I hope he does.
I really hope he does.
You ready for a dental update?
Oh my God, For a better job.
Let's hear it.
Because I'm always interested in what's going on
with his tooth situation.
Yeah.
And Richard O'Hada wants to hear all about it as well.
Well, listen, Army Major.
It's been great having you on.
You know, I have to go early because I have to go to the dentist.
They're going to give me a mishulines
to push these teeth back so they can put the laminate on this tooth so I'll look normal again.
Normal. Guess how much this dentist is gonna cost me?
How much?
5,000.
Are you for one tooth?
For one tooth for the invisible line and then the tooth.
And I'll tell you this because insurance won't cover cosmetic surgery.
So I got to pay it out of pocket.
These rack thinks.
That's horrible, man.
Guinness gracious.
You look like a friggin' walkin' can opener.
And my dentist is a conservative.
And I don't like that either, but I trust him.
$5,000, man. That's messed up, man. Yeah, he goes, I don't worry that either, but I trust him. $5,000, man, that's messed up, man.
Yeah, he goes, I don't worry about money, you know,
it's not important to my get.
That important to you, it's important to me.
Hey, you know, I gotta give you shit.
I'm not a comedian, but everybody.
John looks like he could eat an apple through a pick of fence.
Ah!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Well, he just said a little strange, strange socks.
Um, why does John think it's impressive to throw figures out there?
I don't know.
My tooth cost 5,000.
I made this many thousand at the thing and that was my biggest payday and this is expensive
guys.
He's obsessed with money.
And when he went on that show with Tommy, he goes, I don't need money. I get extra money in a month
I put aside for my kids someday, but he he spent so much time in his podcast
I drive an expensive car and I drink expense or whatever like yeah always not stop and it's always to impress people because it's especially
When he has a guest down when there's a guest in there's a cool because I my tooth are five thousand dollars and I'm gonna pay it
It's not even and I bought Yankee tickets.
Yeah, oh yeah, yeah.
Hook him up to one by another Yankee tickets.
Oh, you can't go, can you reimburse me for that?
Because I bought that for you.
On a recent bonus episode, we discussed how he's a hero
because when one of his friends needs beer,
he'll buy him beer all night.
And like, first of all, I doubt it's ever happened.
That was great.
If that happened one time, you know,
hey producer Christian, remember that time, I got, you know, hey producer Christian remember that time,
I got you that drink and I producer Chris remember that time.
I took out memory.
Remember that time.
Remember that time, remember that time.
Oh, I better never fucking ends.
And speaking of bonus episodes,
I'm glad you brought that up
because I have downloaded the audio book,
it's easy for you to say by Stuttering John Melendez.
Him reading his own book and that's gonna be part of an ongoing series
on our Patreon.
Read by the author?
Read by the author.
I know.
Christmas came early this year.
I know.
I'm very excited.
So we're gonna be doing that on our Patreon in the supercast.
I'm sorry about the mess on the chair dude.
I'm sorry.
It's very exciting.
I got really excited.
I totally understand.
So Brian also got in on the music this week for Stuttering John.
We had a contest like years ago to do Stuttering John parody songs.
We should maybe think about bringing that back again,
because I love it when people make my job easier.
I was good at trying to say participate.
And I'm like, honestly, the reason why I like it is because I don't have to do any of
the work and I try to say participate. I'm like honestly the reason why I like is because I don't have to do any of the work
And I get to play this
Die Mrs. Melendez you old egg
That's right
Choking on some saliva
Phenomenon
Phenomenon
Phenomenon
phenomenon
Political pundit not listen Joe. I can't pronounce anything
Phenomenon Phenomenon
Phenomenon Phenomenon
When did I don't know but anyway
So
I
Anyway, so what happened?
Phenomenon Phenomenon! Phenomenon! Phenomenon!
Phenomenon!
He did compliment me and those are the times that he did.
Like, he actually complimented me with this John Great job. I don't really need my...
I'm fucking happy, my love, I'm getting nice car, I got nice motorcyclist, I was probably worth maybe $9.2 or $9.3. I'm fucking happy, my love got a nice car, I got a nice motorcycle, I don't really need
much, you know?
I like a fucking white floor.
Phenomena.
Phenomena.
Phenomena.
Phenomena.
You know what I miss penis.
I think that number raises a pertinent question.
What's that?
Why did they do it?
Very well done sir.
Much appreciated crows.
I notice you listen to a recent episode of The Briefcase.
Oh my god. So I was afraid like am I going to have to listen of the briefcase? Oh my god.
So I was afraid like, am I gonna have to listen to Alpere
heaven for big more fucking-stuttering John?
Yeah.
And then Friday morning, like a fucking turd out of a rhinoceros dash
into a bowl of M&M's on Christmas morning.
Yeah.
The briefcase appeared in my feed and I rejoiced.
I rejoiced and I said, thank you, Shamist, for you are good and you don't like my show. Don't tell me. I go from the north.
Because that's absurd.
These are hopefully real short.
This is just another random episode of random bullshit.
And here's how he opens it.
Today we open up the case on...
Island boys.
Is the island boys.
No, uh, what the fuck is that anyways?
What is that?
I can't help but to be confused.
Okay, so that's a viral TikTok meme that he's singing along with.
But he drops it at random points.
He doesn't know what it is.
He doesn't really explain what it is. Everything about this is just baffling. But that's like where he's at right now.
Sure. You know what I mean? It's just random, whatever is at the top of his head. Okay.
So I can't figure out what's going on with Patrick. Mike, all right. Now because for a while
there, he was doing all these shows with other people. Yeah. He had all these co-hosts. And
then all these other shows going on. Am I just like out of the loop on it? Or is he lost
all those people again?
He said, at home watching TikTok basically.
Okay.
Because part of this thing, and my kids had to fucking explain it
to me after I played him this clip.
Okay.
I'm not actually up on any of the shit.
So part of this thing is that these guys have face tattoos.
So that gets Patrick Michael once again.
I'm sorry about face tattoos.
Is fucking riffing on face tattoos now.
There's a couple other things I want you to listen for.
One is he has a very Tom Myers moment,
which I thought was beautiful.
But second, he's got a new element in his signal chain
that's creating beeps.
I am convinced that he is literally fucking with me
because his show is slowly getting worse and worse
and worse sounding.
And like, you actually have to try to get a show to sound that bad
Like you got to work out and he's leaving these long or
pauses in when he
Talked and plus the beeping plus the music plus just the static that comes from having to raise the level by so much like
As much as I love him
He's making my life just more and more
difficult I'm convinced he's doing it's on purpose this is a fucking expert
level troll against me I'm just gonna add more shit in here and we'll see what
anyway number two that's been that that's been the idea the entire time was to
troll you you don't even realize what's going on here I said in the past this is
the worst sounding podcast ever way worse it It's gotten way worse. This guy is playing 2D checkers
I mean are we seeing
a new craze
Right, we're all gonna be separated in the groups of face tattoos and non face tattoos and you know
This guy's got his neck tattoo, but not his face still works that Verizon wireless
You know, there's only so much a person can take
without mentioning it. You know, it's gotta get mentioned at a certain point, right?
I mean, that's what I do. That's kind of the idea of the show.
Is he in a cocktail party too while he's recording this?
I hear like mumbling in the background and stuff.
Well, he's watching TV.
He's watching TV.
But I think he's on an orbiting Russian satellite.
Yeah.
That's just the fucking beacon coming out of it.
Let's hear him review the new Dave Chappelle special.
Oh boy.
OK, so there was like four times in the most recent special
where I legitimately laughed like I had a
face of joy
Joy I guess coming from deep within you left it the special you don't have to make it more complicated
No, Carl. He had the sound of joy coming from deep within. Yeah, that's not it. It's like, it could be out of his face.
His face is also for joy.
His face was, he had a face of joy,
but he had the sound of joy coming from deep within.
And look, dude, I don't, you know, look,
I've actually seen these guys live.
It's a good enough show.
But like, this is a show for simple people.
It's these tiny little kind of fake scenarios
and it's these little self-contained bits that
are kind of, I guess, funny if you're into it.
But listen to how much you watch this show, number four.
Because like I said in previous episodes, guys, I'm watching the impractical jokers.
Alright, I've already went through the first nine seasons.
One time.
I didn't catch every episode, but it's definitely been on in the background for two weeks straight.
I've also had
what is it?
The impractical jokers inside jokes.
There's like a hundred and fifty episodes of that and I watched all that as well. I mean, okay.
Now look you may have heard me say recently, watching TV is not a personality,
but like, I've watched literally hundreds of hours in a row
of the shit they put on in the insane asylum
to calm down the patients in the straight jackets.
You don't even know what you're admitting there.
Like, you're a simple person.
This is entertainment for simple people.
And the fact that it's just blaring nonstop,
even while you're talking, while you're conducting your life,
while you're sleeping, while you're eating,
you've just got this constant stream
of these four guys goofing around like.
I have a pet peeve here, something that he brought up.
I've watched all nine seasons, not every episode,
but it's not in the background.
I was talking to our friend Andy about Squid Game
and I asked him, are you watching with the subtitles?
Are you doing the overdubs?
Oh, I have to do the overdubs
because you know what I'm watching
and I'm also looking at my phone.
I'm like, that's not watching a show.
Like the fact that this guy's like,
I love this thing, it's always on in the background
while I'm doing shit.
That's not watching a show or a movie.
If you don't know what happened, then what's the point?
Nothing I want, I need you to sit very intently
for impractical jokers and understand everything
all the nuances that are going on.
I just, I would talk about it
if it was just something out of the background.
You ever, don't answer this,
but you've ever been sitting with somebody
and then you're both watching the same screen
and then I was sort of like,
oh, who's that?
What happened?
Who's, why is he?
And you're like, we're watching the same fucking thing.
We're, oh, whatever.
Anyway, I know how much you're like, so I'mwife moving on I said nothing. I was talking about producer Chris actually
Patty C Cups has transcended podcasting and he's gonna tell us all about it nonetheless
This is a podcast for
Those who hate podcasts, okay?
That's what we're changing it into this is a podcast for those that don't even like podcasts at all.
Because that's not what this is.
It's not what it is.
It might say podcasts, it might be on podcasts,
uh, sites, but the reality is, no.
That's not what we are.
This is a different thing.
It's a specialer. Thing, a specialer.
More special?
That doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
I don't even really know what to, uh...
Talk about retarded.
Talk about retarded.
Indeed.
Then we go on a long rant about Halloween
but I only have two short little things about it
What is he trying to say there though? So he starts out by saying this is a podcast and he says it's even better than a podcast
It's special in a car. Doesn't he start off every podcast by saying you two can also podcast like he podcast
By using anchor down a five and you make money whether you have five listeners or three listeners
You still make money from anchor down a five because that's where you podcast is the podcast place where you podcast
I'm your phone or whatever you have, but you'll never be a specialist him.
Fair as you might. I'm trying to get this episode out before Halloween. I'm trying to
to gain something. It was a week late from
The trending content, right? I like it. Okay. I like boys. I don't even know what this is, but everyone's talking about it, so
Okay, who is he talking to? What does he mean everyone's talking about this? This guy has no circle of friends
He's not talking to anyone. He's just looking at the internet. He's like, well, everyone's talking about this thing
It's like that's the internet talking about that. He's on TikTok and it's I don't know. I don't know
So I
Not even advertising for TikTok crush. No, there's no good advertisement for TikTok. You know what the fuck?
They're going on over there. Yeah, the Chinese government are stealing our secrets facial recognition. Yes. I know what's going on
They've turned all of our teenagers into fucking moron. That's well that is true
I mean we had a little hand in that as well
Well, but Chinese aren't helping, that's for sure.
So anyway, I spared you the clips,
but so he goes on a whole thing about people
who are adults who dress in costumes need to grow up.
Then he follows it up with when he was 10,
there was one place in his trailer park
that gave out the plastic rings that were spiders
instead of candy, and he's like still pissed about it
to this day.
And the two of those pretty cool together.
Then he goes, I don't even, I don't even get why people dress in Halloween costumes.
Cause when you see women's costumes, they're like lingerie.
It's like, well, yeah, it sounds like you get it.
It sounds like you're good. Exactly what's going on.
Right.
And then he, he follows it up with this little advice and I thought this was wonderful.
Like what in the hell is going on?
Dude, I'm so sick of seeing these people that are well into their 40s that are like I'm the green goblin
Well gobble D's nuts
No, that's a fucking joke right there very well done. Thank you for another quality briefcase patty seat cups. You're my hero
I mean honestly that should go into his stand-up set
Yeah, I'm the great goblin goblin these nuts
I mean, honestly, that should go into his stand-up set. Yeah.
On the great goblin, goblin, these nuts, the plays they used up bad.
It might be.
Did he write that down?
Did he have that one?
Ready to go?
He probably heard it on a practical jokeers.
That's very accurate, yes.
Let's get into a little bit more of this, uh,
Babble, Bab my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, and started live streaming. Ooh. And when he starts his live stream, he starts reading comments right away.
And don't say the wrong thing to the opster.
Talking to lickin' his balls on the live stream.
Well, how about that?
What's up Tim McConnell?
Welcome to the live stream.
My friend Nero, when, yeah, man, what's up, man?
Can't believe you really smashed that guy's cake.
That old gag.
You don't understand entertainment now.
Do you?
You.
Nothing good can come of that guy being on our livestream.
So he's gone.
Good bye to you, sir.
Good bye to you.
Good boy, Gwagi.
He started doing the Vic Henley thing in there, too.
He's tried out all of the voices all the time.
I just do one voice for a couple of sentences in a row
and then move on to the next goofy hilarious voice
that you do OP.
So somebody brought up the cake stopping thing.
Now I'm sure you guys are familiar with this
where he jumped out of homeless guy's cake
when they were doing the OP Anthony walkover.
And apparently if you just put that in the chat,
then you get banned.
This guy is stuttering John now.
Yeah.
He's just banning people.
All you trolls, I got about,
where's Benny Loco?
Oh wait, that's right.
Benny Loco doesn't do, oh peace, chat.
So apparently, people are just calling out opi
on all the podcasts.
There's a lot of podcasts that,
that if they're not talking about me or Anthony
or the OP and Anthony show,
they have literally nothing else to talk about.
There's a lot of those types of shows out there right now.
So I guess I should be, I guess I should be flattered.
Nothing else to talk about.
There's Patrick Michael,
start to reach out.
The list goes on. Yeah. You know, Stunt or each other, Lisco's hot.
Yeah.
You know, I mean,
there's an angry video game nerd
that passes prime.
Yeah, I got another 40 cinema
actor clips.
Right.
I got nothing else to tell you.
I'll dare you.
Are there really a lot of podcasts
that are talking about OP?
Because if that's true,
I want to know about that.
If there were, I'd be bringing clips of them.
Right.
I don't think that that's actually happening.
I think that OP just keeps hearing about the shit
that we're sagging, he assumes that there's a lot,
you know, oh, this must be like tons of different
trolls, I'll just tell you what it's like.
No, we're just, have a lot of God done over here.
So you know that OP talks a lot about how after he
got fired from Series XM, he took some time off,
he saw a shaman, he went into therapy. And he's a different person now.
Yeah, I got some healing crystals. Yeah, snorted some essential oils. He snorted to back. I went out. He did heroin.
He exposed his taint to the sunlight to absorb nature's healing. I don't remember that one, but yeah, right. He did all those things.
That might have been me. Sorry. And that was to get him in a different mindset.
Yeah.
And to change the way that he thinks about the world so they wouldn't be this raging
asshole that everyone hates who fails at life because no one wants to be around him.
And Jim and Sam are gone December 1st.
That would be a very, very happy day for me.
I'll be very, very happy because I think they did me dirty back in the day.
I don't think they're good people whatsoever. I think both of those guys are absolute punks
Oh, he's rooting for Jim and Sam to lose their morning show on serious ex-app wow that would make him happy
If Jim Norton and Sam Roberts no longer have a morning show on serious. Oh, how does that help you in any way?
Oh, yeah, what a spiteful dude. Yeah, what a spiteful do she think to say on a podcast?
You know, that's the way you feel.
Don't admit it.
Yeah.
It makes you look like you're petty.
And, yeah, and not to be shallow,
but compare that to us,
where I get down on my knees and I pray to the Lord above
that Opie never shuts his microphone off.
Correct.
I know, that's the funny thing,
where Patrick Michael was forever going, and They want me to stop podcasting. No
I chose more stuff when it gets too long between briefcase episodes. I get cold sweats
I know in the middle of the night and check my phone out of happiness. Please, please patty seat cups come through for me
I need you but it was through all the ridiculous when we don't have enough briefcase episodes of the day
Now I'm sure you're aware because you're really into
pop culture news king Kardashian has been seen with Pete Davidson. Oh
have it. That's the new hot couple right. Yeah. You guys are both nodding your heads
like, oh yeah, yeah, of course, it's all I'm talking about my friends. Well, I only
I only followed a candle, uh, Jenner saga. I'm not really up on this
Kardashians. Fair enough. So over used to be friends with Pete Davidson and my I only followed a candle, uh, Jenner Saga. I'm not really up in this card. Ashy and Zee.
Fair enough. So, Obe used to be friends with Pete Davidson and my friends, I mean that Pete used to go on his show
when he had a radio show people wouldn't do. So Obe's got the inside scoop on this one.
And now she's hanging out with my old pal, Pete Davidson.
Jesus!
Pete Davidson used to tell me that his dick looked like shit.
Like he had a horrible looking dick and all these like top fucking celebrities are really
into him.
I wonder what it is.
Wow!
What the fuck?
I don't think it's that.
He's got the insides scoop.
It's dick looks like shit.
That's fucking hilarious. What kind of thing is that to say? He's had the insides scoop. It's dick hooks like shit.
That's fucking hilarious.
Now I mean, if that's a liar made up story,
I got a lot of questions.
If that's true, I got even more questions.
What the fuck is he talking about?
Now he's wondering why these hot celebrities
are in the Pete Davidson.
There's a side-full episode about it.
So Pete dated Ariana Grande.
Yeah.
As soon as you get a hot girlfriend, other hot girls want to you like oh you date hot girls. All right, then then we date now
That's the secret that's it right there. I don't know if you dated Ariana Grande
Maybe it was all just a hook maybe paid her off so you can stop fucking all the other hot checks
I don't know yeah, whether or not you're dick looks
Dick looks like
Did did OBS see that from a stand-up special or from a stage or something, you know what I mean? Right, that's not exactly like you know
Produced a crescentive had a lot of late-night conversations and I were like, you know, producer Chris and I have had a lot of late night conversations and I remember like, you know,
let me describe my penis to you real quick
because I know you're really interested.
Well, he's known for having big dick energy.
This is something that's very well known about him
and hope he's like, yeah, you know what I know about this guy.
Dickel is like, shit.
Yeah.
What?
Now, it smells like shit I can understand.
Right, that would be a problem.
I'm just like, what does it even mean?
What does that mean?
I've never heard a girl say I need a guy was an attractive dick
Yeah, this dick is attractive. Yeah, forget about it
All right the pod squad is something we're all familiar with this is the Facebook group. Oh, yeah
Of course where people are fans of opi radio. Yeah, this is what I didn't know about the pod squad Rachel's the mayor of the pod squad
Pod squad we we hang out on the private Facebook group.
You just click Support Now on my regular Facebook group.
Or Facebook, I should say, my regular Facebook.
There's a little support now.
You click on that, it's a few bucks, but it's worth it
because we just have a good time.
And there's no assholes in there that we know of.
It's a few bucks for a Facebook group.
I, whoa. Did you know that? There's a few bucks for a Facebook group. I, whoa.
Did you know that?
There's a, it's a walled garden.
It's a gated community to discuss
OP's gated community.
Subscription.
You have to pay to talk to other lonely retards on Facebook.
Which by the way, is what Facebook is.
Yeah.
Talking to lonely retards is free.
You don't have to do that by bagged, ol' P-body to do it.
I've never heard of this and maybe I'm out of it.
I know a lot of people will use subscription models
to make money off of their audience however they can,
but not a Facebook group.
Oh, that's shocking.
And is that,
does he share that with Facebook?
Is there like some type of model I'm unaware?
Should we make a Facebook group?
That's what I'm wondering is he profiting off of that? Right, well, should we make of and Facebook What's the one thing is he profiting off of that right?
It's all like is that of course he is
And if you're fed by everything where you need that gated community. Yes. Why would you flock to Opie?
Right. Yes, like I used to say we used to play this music festival in the city and it was three bucks to get it
And it doesn't see a lot of money, but it keeps the Mexicans out and I think that
That's what Opie's doing here with this pot squad
Disable, where he doesn't want the haters right
That'll chestnut all right Opie's are talking about Phil Collins and
He's a big Genesis fan. I don't know if you guys knew that you love that song Billy
Don't lose that number any volume and you like your poppy shit, huh? I like dance on
Dance on the volcanoes, I believe was the name of the song
Think I got it. I think I got to jump beat right on that one
I think I got to drum beat right on that one. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do like this Well, and that's the thing if you had a movie or a show and that was a fictional character
It would be right off of me. You'd be like that's too
No, he would ever right yeah, he called it a drumbeat. Yeah, all right. Did you guys pick up? I think I got the drum beat right and then he's singing notes
Yeah, so this is the actual song.
Just to everybody knows what we're talking about.
Dance on a volcano.
The drum beat.
And I'm sorry, who is this? This is Genesis from the 70s. I
Am sorry Genesis from the 70s. Oh
Yeah, so you're talking about Phil Collins talking about the Genesis songs. He likes he likes the prog stuff from the 70s
What Peter Gabriel was a singer? Well, this is this might have been I don't know. I don't know who's the singer Phil Collins is playing drums either
Way, okay, this is them synced up. Oh, yes, let's hear it well
He's got the key right he's got the fucking key right man. I gotta give a props. How long would it be?
I gotta give a props. How funny would it be?
Opie's had perfect pitch this time.
That's amazing.
I like it. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do We're listening to his horrible podcast and there's a car hawking the horn. He goes ah, it's a
Sea Augmented diet. Oh my god. He's right
He's like Mozart level genius. There's a house flight. He's like that's the key of aff. Yes, it is. I know that
My god and open nose how good he is but in general man, I'm good. I am really good.
I say I'm good, good, good.
No one told me there was gonna be boasting.
Is that someone who's doing well in life?
Yeah.
Someone who's talking, good, they're doing, I'm doing good.
Oh yeah.
I'm yelling into my iPhone three times a day.
Yeah.
I'm good. I'm really good. I'm gonna go my iPhone three times a day. I'm good.
I'm really good.
I'm gonna go move my car.
Yeah, right.
I'm good.
I'm gonna go find cheap gas.
I'm good.
I like it when OP does recognize that he's talking nonsense.
I'm babbling now.
I know when I'm babbling.
Yeah.
He does sometimes, now.
Well, this scared me. Now you know that OP has two children. He does sometimes, now. Yeah. This scared me.
Now you know that Opie has two children.
You talking about my kids?
No, Opie has son of the daughter.
And this is scary.
I walk my kids to school every day
and I give them little life lessons
and give them little tidbits about life from my experience.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
He's giving his kids life advice. That's not a good thing right
there. Now make sure everyone hates you and if they're shitting videotape bits.
Here's how you get the camera over the stall and if you're too short for that
here's how you get it under the stall. Here's how to crush candy. I got it. Crush candy. I got it.
Crush candy.
I got it.
Crush candy.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it. I got it. I got gonna call it right now. I'm finding Patrick Michael Boring
and I'm finding Opie Funny.
What's going on?
This is not good.
This is not good right now.
What's happening?
The tide is turning.
The tide is turning.
I might say, listen, there will be a purpose.
I'm joke, guys.
Come on.
I know, I know.
That's silly.
I'm being overly ridiculous.
You know, sometimes sarcasm and you exaggerate things and then it's funny. I took it overly ridiculous, you know, like sometimes sarcasm and like you exaggerate things
and then it's funny.
I took it too far.
All right.
Yeah.
I only get comedy when Patrick Michael explains it to me.
Yeah.
When the sound of joy comes from within my soul,
you know what I mean?
I with you, that...
Crows, what have we done today?
Oh, too much.
Someone say we've done it all.
Yeah.
We talked about Cininnamassiker
and the angry video game nerd doing the behind the scenes podcast and answers all your questions,
except the questions that they don't want to answer. We talked about Stuttering John. We had a great
song about super chats from Adam Thoreau. Patrick Michael put out a new briefcase this week
in which he made it sound worse than ever.
I don't even know how he's pulling that off,
but that high-pitched beeping noise is super obnoxious.
I'm glad you listened to that, not me.
OP does not like people bringing up the cake-sopping thing.
He's over it.
So you know what that means?
It's time for everyone's favorite part of the show. This is where we play a clip from the podcast
that we'll be reviewing on next week's W-A-T-P to get people excited for it. We call it the teaser.
Oh! And here is a clip from that podcast.
But yeah, so we're gonna be talking
about psychedelic feminism.
So I wanna start off by just explaining
a little bit about what that means.
So psychedelic feminism was coined by Zoe Helene
as quote, a subgenre of feminism
that embraces the transformation and inspirational power
of psychedelic healing, transformation, self-liberation,
and mind-body spirit exploration in altered states of consciousness. It's kind of unfortunate because
Zoe Haleen is like kind of problematic, primarily in two ways. One, she's very like biosensualist,
even though like some places on her website are like talking are like the gender spectrum. Most places on her website are like very like woo, woo about
like women, the wild woman, the like whatever intuition
from within.
Just like, yeah, a little too much of that for me for my taste.
Um,
Dude, I'm so sorry.
I just had something come up.
I can't be here next week.
This is a show called Season of the Bitch.
It came in from Echoes 8 in the Discord.
Wow.
And I'm gonna listen to that,
and if it sucks, we'll just do stoner checks.
But anyway, that's the teaser for next week's,
who are these podcasts?
Crows, anything that you wanna plug, my friend.
Yes, as you know, over on the Crows Your Electric Podcast
network, we have a brand new
season of Behind the Smile Talk. And here's a clip of episode one where we discover Carl's early
experiences in the music industry. But while the music was in rehearsals in Boston, he worried
his luck might have run out. It all started with a sore toe.
He realized up in Boston that he had a sore toe
and it was turning kind of purple.
So he goes to the doctor,
doctors treating the toe,
but then the doctor comes back with bad news.
He hates to tell him this, but he has syphilis.
I'll also be over on the sub-brett.
My name is the Rotten Asgel Over Oak Hill Skunks,
coming out.
Very cool.
All right, let's cross.
Yeah.
We appreciate you coming over.
Cheers.
Producer, Chris is here.
So please, join us again next week.
It might be the episode we find out once and for all.
Who are these podcasts?
Leave well, every pony.
Starting in the must-fit of morning radio.
Get down to show these clothes right now. Mm. OK. Okay, sleep well, everybody. Starting in the most bits of morning radio.
And now the show is called right now.
Okay, great show.
Good job, everybody.
Great job, everyone.
Be Mark Buddy.
Boff or me?
What is this garbage?
How does it have a podcast? This is bullshit. It's boring as shit.
I can't fucking take it.
Fuck you. Thanks a lot, Carl. This dude is fucking corny!
You know, who are these?
Podcasts!
I don't know.
I don't get it.
Makes no sense.
Internet news!
The course for new plan! makes no sense. photographs Sudoku puzzles and bags of sand thing because it's truly one of the weirdest things I've ever heard.
J-Posts?
I vacillate between being bitter that such an untalented and uninteresting
buffoon like Opie could have achieved such success and wealth and being inspired that maybe I can achieve the same.
Being as I am untalented and uninteresting also. Feather on fantasizes, dream podcast, kumia, kelly, norton slash sholey, similar wormlike
character.
And it seems a certain someone with a certain speech impediment is back to lurking around
certain online forums as Pamela Anderson writes in the Daabler's anonymous subreddit.
Welcome back to Reddit, you magnificent joint deadbeat dad of a Daedler.
But he never goes on those sites, right guys?
Even though he just brought up things that have only been discussed on the sub.
Educational floor.
Amazing how he does not go on hate sites, but responds to all the posts here.
Buggical 2018.
And that he has an un-cyclopedic knowledge
of every troll comet, truly amazing.
Outside command,
the one thing that chronic alcohol abuse has not touched,
John's ability to remember every perceived slight against him.
Majestic Risk Seven says,
great news, welcome back.
You loser.
Taking it easy, gushes,
John is my favorite person to follow.
John, if you're seeing this, I just want to say I'm a big fan of the dreamer you are.
Fix it 403, Riffs.
Hi, John.
This is your liver speaking.
Please, get help.
Pamela Anderson.
John, hi.
This is your prostate calling.
I feel a little inflamed lately and not sure what to do about these lumps on me.
Can you give me a ride to the doctor sometime soon? One of those lumps is full of pus.
Fix it, yes ends. Hi John, this is your finger talking now. If you kept me away from your prostate,
he might feel a little better. Tippi Tobyens joins in. Hi John, this is your tooth.
For the love of God, just let me be. I don't want to be in your mouth.
I don't want to be anywhere near you.
I keep trying to escape, but you keep gluing me back on.
If you truly love someone, set them free.
Hello, this is Card of Electric.
You're one and only review girl.
You only review girl that you can depend on every week.
Here's your reviews this week from the internet.
The first review is titled,
These guys Aren't Too
Bad. I Didn't Hate It. 1, 2, 3, That's a Five Star. The next review from the internet
is titled, On Interesting. There's a reason Shocked Ox Dino.
1, 2, 3, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4,
4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4,
4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, The next review on the internet worth a listen hilarious mockery of fragile podcast community keep it up guys
One, you play it like double speed?
That's a five star the next review is from modern podcast magazine who are these podcasts is a terrible show for many years
They relied on review girls like Vic and Casey. They were so undependable. Sometimes they would show up
Like Vic and Casey, they were so undependable. Sometimes they would show up, sometimes they wouldn't.
The show has gotten much better since the addition of the new review girl, Cardiff Electrant.
1, 2, 3, that's a 5 star.
The next review from the internet,
titled, Where's the Jokes, Fellows, Really Painful Listen.
1, 2, 3, that's a 1 star.
The final review from the internet.
Horrific pile of experiments.
I will go back to 5 when this tired, played out part of electric...
It is over.
I'll dare you objectively and humorously listen to podcasts I enjoy and not say they're
the best thing ever.
Where does he get off?
He even backs up his assertions with clips, like a real douche.
It's also hilarious and I love listening.
If you can't find something funny with this podcast, that's your fault.
One, two, three.
That's a one star.
I'm not sure how I feel.
Alright, is everyone miss Vic now?
Can we get Vic and Casey back on the show?
Is there a name for whatever disorder he is?
Yeah, it's called loneliness.
Oh, it's pretty sad.
But whatever, we all love Cardiff.
All right, Vick's stepfather called into the show.
Let's see what he has to say.
I'm sure it's not offensive in any way.
Hello, this is Vick's album is a stepfather. That's the real guy. I'm not joking. It'd be hard to like mimic that voice. Yeah.
Obviously, that's the real guy.
All right.
Tucker Dixon is active in our Discord.
He also had a voicemail with the same sentiment that he's selling.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
It'd be hard to mimic that voice.
Yeah.
Obviously, that's the real guy.
All right.
Tucker Dixon is active in our Discord.
He also had a voicemail with the same sentiment that he's selling.
I'm not joking.
It'd be hard to mimic that voice. Yeah. Obviously, that's the real guy. All right, yeah, Tucker Dixon is active in our Discord. He also had a voicemail with the same
sentiment that he's typing right now. Hey, Carl Tucker Dixon here. If you're gonna have
Cardiff to continue being the review girl, I'm gonna need to see him in a wet t-shirt. I mean,
it's just fair. I have to see it. I can't listen to these fucking reviews without without seeing him in wet t-shirt so uh Cardiff get on that anyways fuck her out
careful what you wish for I do have that photo I've had it for weeks I will say it's
hard to take him seriously without that visual it just I can't can't do it
I don't know who said you're out anymore all right here's a Kaya fan call into the show.
Goddamn it Carl, why didn't you play me a fucking voice now? All I want to know is why
the fuck Kaya hasn't been on your show for a while. Yeah Carl.
I'll see you got a listen to the most recent episode. It is dog shit, official podcast.
Oh my god. All it is is bad takes and all they do is talk about shit that's the idea
what they're talking about. And Kaya's in there trying to moderate it with the best opinions and all of them shoot
them down the poor fucking dude is trying to fight against three other re-tards
holy shit
you know it feels you could actually go back and re-review their podcast and it would
be really worse than it was before because now they don't know all it is is you don't
shit they're too
afraid to make any joke but come on you got to make a few out of cold
beans jokes anyway see a car oh bag it okay I don't know I'm back here yeah I
know Kai is great and we'd love to have him on the show more often I live in
New York state he lives in Germany so there's sometimes there's scheduling
conflicts that come up from that but But we're all one human family.
That's true.
Making a lot of good points.
All right, this is a woman who listens to the show.
What?
I know.
I was taking it back by this too.
Hey, Carl.
I'm Colin because I was introduced to your show on accident.
I've never listened to podcasts.
I don't know anything about podcasts, but a friend at work told me to check out a podcast
called Last Podcast on the Left.
Oh, you'll be sorry.
So when I searched in my little iPhone podcast app thing that shows up never use before your hair popped up and it was
Review yeah, yeah, so I was to say I never listen to last podcast on the left right good. Thanks to you
Oh, and now your podcast is
The only one I listen to.
We saved you from sharing the same.
I gotta thank you for introducing Kaya's amazing voice.
He's the best.
Yeah.
I have a little bit of a crush on him.
This guy called Kaya.
And but mainly just his voice.
I feel like if I saw him, it might ruin.
He's a good looking guy.
Anyway, I've been to all the episodes that had Kaya mentioned or on. How do you feel about
Harry Turks? I've been to the other stuff too, but mainly when he was on there.
Who is Harry Turks?
I was going to say, I was going to say, not really sure how to end this.
Yeah, we tell you.
I say, call me back.
Yeah, that's the one.
Fuck you, car.
I guess I'll say both.
Fuck you.
Thank you.
Come on back.
No, no, no, no, fuck you, car.
She really is living out the mantra, though,
all listening to podcasts so she doesn't have to.
That's true.
So I think we saved her from last podcast on the left.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
I also love the genius of the SEO
that we've created for ourselves here.
I also know this popular show
and your website showed up.
Yep.
So I listened to them instead.
And also the reason why this happened for hers
because last podcast on the left
is a Spotify only show.
Yeah.
There are a bunch of shows that are on no players anymore.
So you go to a podcast app,
whatever is on your phone, if you're not a person who understands how podcasting anymore. So you go to a podcast app, whatever is on your phone if you're not a
Person who understands how podcasting work. So you go on that and then you look up last podcast on the left
And by the way, there's a show out there genius
Someone came up with the Joe Rogan experience experience or something like that. It's called
So if you go on a podcast and look up Joe Rogan because it's not on Spotify. You find this other show
That is great. wish i were about that
smart
hey call
and hopefully christ
uh... anyway
i got a couple of people to do
right will fucked up okay you know uh... i'm catching up on the episode
that damn close let's say what five six away
and uh...
he got a little bit going on and maybe maybe
I'm again ahead of myself but he got this little bit going on where where you're
not letting that last song play a little outro ditty right and listen listen you
might cut our little short maybe even half understandable but let us hear a few
chords you know maybe even more than a few you cut it off after two you break
my heart now it's great fit and and that's cool
But then you play this dumb fucking bumper every goddamn time come on
I mean I like dick. I'm not a hater, but you know, you can't go good voice fuck
damn well
Anyways, that's damn song fuck you call me back
Vix bompers important cuz it gives you a couple minutes, it gives you half a minute
so to get your pants off.
You know what I mean?
I think we can argue twice.
For saying.
I never thought it'd be controversial to not play that music at the end of the show
but apparently-
I didn't even know it was a bit.
Apparently that's a thing.
I'm just thinking about it.
Alright, last one I smell here.
Way back when I was just a little boy living in a box
under the stairs in the corner of the basement
of the house, I found it way down the block street
from Jerry's base shop.
You know the place.
Yeah.
Well anyway, back then life was swell
and everything was just PC.
Just a course for the undeniable fact
that every single morning,
my mother would make a big bowl of Southrop breath. Oh, big
ball of
Sarah crap.
Every single morning.
It was driving me crazy.
I said, Mom, I said, Hey, mom.
Uh huh.
What's up with all the Southrop?
Yeah.
Good question.
Dear sweet mother Jesus looked at me like a cow looked at an
oncoming train.
Is he leaning down right next to me and she said, It's time for you! And as she tithes in a warm, stuck a funnel in my mouth and
forestepping up to my side of gravel, I'm 26 and a half years old.
God damn. That's what I swear, that's some day.
Someday, I would get out of that base of an entrival to a magical faraway place, where
the sun is always shining in the air, smells like warm root beer, and the clouds are
also fluffy. When the sun is in the leopard's play, like warm root beer and the clouds are also fluffy. Yeah. When I'm trying to then the leopard
play that ukulele is all day long and then on the street you'll climb and
stream your back for a nickel. Yeah. Yeah. Walk, walk, walk and do it. Yeah. Hell yeah.
Well, let me tell you people, because the long gap before that dream came true
because the very next day a local radio station had this contest. Really?
You could correctly guess the number of models you'll the little ne more fun yeah I was all five three but I still want to
grand prize that's right a first class one way ticket to wow
a bird key
a
bird key
to weird how song so I don't know if you're familiar with this but we can't
with the world's greatest bit ever
Spell Albuquerque Crosho spell Albuquerque
Okay
Oh come on!
Try for real!
Try for real, what's he even gonna do?
Oh geez, I... there's no way.
It's the hardest thing to spell ever!
Puy a bubble!
Yeah
Alright
People are getting angry with me in the discord right now. I don't know what I did what I play a voice mail
It went away too long. What what's going on around here if you guys
Call in with funnier shit. I'll play funnier shit during the voice
On you this is all your fault guys
Fucking Jesus I got this is getting stupid. Bye guys. Okay, folks
Guess what the episode's over