Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep32 - Rover's Morning Glory
Episode Date: October 10, 2016The boys are back and this week they have a doozy... or a "Duji" as it were. Â We reviewed the radio show/podcast, Rover's Morning Glory. Â It's a morning zoo-style radio show from Cleveland. Â Did we... like it? Â Do we like ANY morning zoo shows? Â The answer to those questions rhymes with "fo" (it's NO for the layperson). Â Karl had a lot of fun with the bumpers and production of the show and Kevin... well didn't have any fun with anything. Â Join us again for a deep dive into the poo-pool of morning radio and all the hacky stuff you've come to love. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello and welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts, I'm Kevin.
And I'm Carl.
And we'll listen to podcasts so you don't have to.
We want to remind our listeners you can visit us on WhoAreThese.com or on our Facebook page.
We're always looking for new podcast suggestions, so leave us a comment,
a suggestion, or post a death threat.
On today's show we'll be reviewing a podcast called Rovers Morning Glory.
As always, we've listened to the episode separately.
We have not discussed it with each other beforehand.
So without further ado, let's find out.
Fonsan Faral, who are these podcasts?
It's showtime. I'm gonna go back to the place where I was and I'm gonna go back to the
place where I was
and I'm gonna go back to the
place where I was
and I'm gonna go back to the
place where I was
and I'm gonna go back to the
place where I was
and I'm gonna go back to the
place where I was
and I'm gonna go back to the place where I was and I'm gonna go back to the W-A-T-P!
W-A-T-P everybody!
W-A-T-P! W-A-T-P everybody. W-A-T-P.
W-A-T-P.
Oh, very nice ladies.
Yeah, it was real nice of them.
Getting us right into it.
Well, welcome to another episode of Who Are These Packers.
I guess Kevin already said that.
We listened to another morning's zoo show.
We did Man Cow a few months ago.
And that was a lot of fun, actually,
because it was really terrible.
So thought we'd do something like that again.
And Rover's morning glory out of Cleveland.
And Kevin, you'd ask me if this was on and Rochester still.
And yes, it is.
It's still on 94.1 the zone. I, I guess Rodgers are pretty big market for this show. Yeah, I saw that I went on their website as I was reviewing the show and
They have like a live feed from the 94 one studios, which I don't understand why you would have a live feed of a bunch of people sitting around
It's not like they're live there. I mean, they're live.
Right. Not a Cleveland, but anyway, they have a live feed on their,
on their website there. Wow, that's the best gig in radio.
Be the person who plays someone else's show for five hours every morning.
Well, I could tell you as a former intern or a co-op for a
radio station. I don't want... I don't want... well there was a thousand years ago
but I wouldn't want a fucking camera like watching everything that I was doing.
I mean God. Well you were beating off most of the time though. Well most of the time
yeah I mean I was doing computer work So half the time is beaten off and half the time was, you know,
signing the lead host's name to birthday cards to make people think that they were
from him.
Hope you get well soon. Love brother.
We, oh, I didn't want to say the name, but yes, that's what it was.
That's hilarious.
All right. So this show, Kevin,
and I was not real familiar with it,
wasn't exactly what I expected.
It's actually very slow and boring.
Where Mancow was just sound effects and screaming
and everyone yelling over each other,
this was not that at all.
Yeah, they should call this Rover's Dead Air
because there's a lot of dead air.
All right, so you listen to the Friday show September 30th.
I listen to the Thursday show September 29th, so we will not have any redundant clips
this week.
Okay.
So you're going to hear shit you haven't heard yet.
I have a perfect example of that, Kevin, and it's actually the clip that I think best
sums up this show.
I call it dumb banter leads to five seconds of dead air.
And before you play it, don't start talking
until you hear Rover say um.
This is, I did not edit this in any way.
This is literally what the show sounds like.
All right.
She's got to be what?
How old is my sister 23 24 no
no no that is before 25 that I don't know it's just don't know she's probably 26 27 seven. Five seconds of dead air and this is what I hate about this show. So the woman,
the newswoman is named Dugi. Yep. And you know, Dugi's making a joke because obviously
Rover's sister is probably in her 40s or something. So I don't know, she 23 or 24. Older than that. Oh, 25. That's like, uh, so fucking dumb. There's nothing on the show
that's honest. Yeah. No, I, well, it's really funny too. If you go on their website, you
can see the profiles for each of the, the, the cast.
Oh, fucking profiles. Yeah. Yeah. It actually shows Dugi, you know, she's Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast.
Oh, cast.
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Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, cast. Oh, the classic hole, if you will, for the show.
And, you know, she just kind of chimes in when she needs to or actually when she doesn't need to.
And they kind of call her out on, I think they sort of play off the fact that she's just a female there and not whatever.
It's the typical, you know, morning zoo bullshit.
It's very formulaic. She reads the news just like Robin Quivers reads the news on Howard.
It's very much in, it lacks authenticity. Everything on here sounds like a bit and sounds like
stick. Every time Deeter opens his mouth it's he's doing stick. There's nothing real about
anything that anyone's saying. Well, I should also say that the news is called the shizzy.
The fucking shizzy, dude.
Yeah.
Play track 8, I call it the shizzy. What the fuck?
I'll give you the details after the shizzy, but first are you ready for the news?
Here we go.
Here's a shizzy on Roa's Morning Glory.
So there's more information now coming in
about the school shooting at a South Carolina
Elementary School yesterday.
OK, two things.
What fucking year is it that the segment is called the Shizu?
And then they play that fucking looping drumbeat
the entire time she's talking.
And it goes on for 15 minutes, while she's
doing the news segment.
Why do they have to have that fucking ridiculous drum loop out there?
Well, because they don't want any dead air.
But that doesn't matter. No, it's it's I gotta say something about Dujie.
She's actually good at reading the news. I mean, I like you.
You start. She starts talking. She does the shizzy thing.
And it's like, you want to because I've actually listened to the show before
I should probably preface everything with that. I've listened to this when I was living
in Rochester, um, prior to getting whatever serious exam to follow Howard. This was kind
of all that was on. There was no opian Anthony yet, um, at, uh, uh,
Oh, excuse me. Excuse me as you're coming up with.
I mean, didn't you at least have a Metallica CD?
I mean, there was something.
No, I'm just, I'm one of those people who can't like have a commute to work with music.
I need to have talk radio.
So and this is kind of, you know, pre podcast popularity too.
So this was what I listened to because the other alternatives weren't really something
that I was into so I
Did listen to this probably you know on occasion driving in so I'm familiar at least with like the
characters and stuff that are on the show and and doji I
Don't mind her
News segment. I hate that it's called the shizzy, but at least she has like,
all right, I'm gonna show it on your point real quick. I was doing some research about this show.
On the internet, it turns out that Dugi and Rover were dating for like seven years or something
while they were doing the show. Did you know that? I did know that, yes. Because she had a baby and apparently they thought
that it was rovers or something,
but it wasn't, it was an artificial insemination and blah, blah.
Who fucking that was?
But so, yeah, so they were dating and then they broke up
and then there was this awkward thing
where she was gonna stay on the show and she did.
But I think this is funny because while she's reading the news
she does fuck up and rover corre, and it sounds exactly like two people who dated for a long time. Play track nine.
Two days after the first presidential candidate, top aides and people closed to don-
The bait, you mean, not the first presidential candidate is what you said. We have two of those already.
No, the presidential debate. Top aides and people close to Donald Trump
There's years of baggage in that little bag of forth right there. That was the only thing real and authentic
But I had a clip that no, you meant to date you dumb cunt
This is why we can't have nice things cuz you can't fucking read the news. This is why we're not in Baltimore,
dude. This is why I'm not balls deep inside you now,
doji. Can you imagine the fights they used to have? Oh,
fuck that. I wonder if there was like a drum loop behind all
their their fights. Or like a shitty metal riff from like Rob Zombie or something you know
they all the characters on their show have a name that starts to the D or I remember back when
they first came on and Rochester and it was I guess Deeter who's still on there but and Deeter
and Dugie and then they have this guy named dumb. Right, yeah.
Did you know that? They had a call speeder named dumb.
I remember that.
Yeah, when I was looking at you,
did you play track 11?
They actually referenced this.
Couple of people sent me this.
Dumb are old phone screeners sent me this news story
Let's just giving up on Navy. That's just giving I mean even even dummy. I'd be like I just kind of a funding
They but just dumb dumb. I actually thought the best call screener was dripp and dud dud was okay
I like dolt well well they do a lot of uh...
punny kind of stuff here like i have a uh...
have a clip here
here we go
he really know but i mean but now they're gonna think that i think the democrats
are putting a pounce on that now because
there is something i also read that uh... down on trump was was all over
hillary because of her husband's indiscretions.
Let's say breaking spews alert from Jeffery LaRose.
And at the same time I was listening to a couple of favorite songs from, you know...
I mean he does, he's a real Anderson Pooper, you had it.
I mean, it's funny.
You think the music is current or old if he was listening to it?
Oh, come on. So we got spews for news. Yeah, Anderson Poo
Yeah, so they do a lot of that. So I'm guessing this guy's name was like, you know
Don and they just started calling them dumb or some dumb shit like that. So right, right
Exactly, they're not clever. Right, right, but these people are not clever
the first time I remember hearing
Because in Rochester we we had
Horsetown and then Howard left the air to go to serious
so this was what I
guess
2004 probably 2003 to 2004 maybe 2005 yeah, okay, so yeah yeah it's in that in that time for
in sort of and I remember because that was that was my shit I always listened to
Howard for you know I don't know 95 and on it was he was on Rochester so I
remember you know tuning in let's say the first or second day after Howard was gone and they had put Rover on,
and I actually thought that this guy was trying to do, that Rover was trying to do a Howard Stern impression.
Because his voice sounded so, he has that sort of, I don't know, this inflection or something in his voice.
Like, he could tell that he's obviously a Howard fan or that's
what he, you know, and spidered him to do radio or something because yeah, it's exactly the
same format for sure. Yeah, it's just that he's got that, you know, that voice, that radio
voice. I can't even do it, right? Right, doogy? You know, I can't even do it, but it's like,
I know you can't. It's just he's got that, I don't know, that draw or whatever that sounds so much like Howard,
that I remember listening the first time
and going, what the, like, why is this guy just copying?
I mean, you know, and that's Howard's big thing
is everyone copies him.
And this is-
The thing that I hated about the show
when it first came on the air back, yeah,
whenever Howard left, was the fact that it's a Howard ripoff, but without any of the
realism to it. So when Howard would rip on Jackie, he would talk about real shit about Jackie's
like X-Wife and the fucking house that she was living in, the Jackie bot far. And yeah, it would be
brutal. They'd get into fights that were brutal
this show is just like all right now uh Deeter is gonna jump off a building and he's gonna land
out on a trampoline and they place some sound effects and I said what the fuck is going on
and this is so stupid yeah it reminds me a lot of bubble loves bunch which I've brought up on
here before which is very similar show mean, there's these wacky named
sidekicks and they just, you know, this one for whatever reason, Rover, is just very,
they just shoot the shit and it doesn't ever go away.
Yeah, there's no payoff. There's no payoff. Yeah, I totally agree with that. I have some examples of it,
but I have a ton of clips here.
So I've been hogging it.
I want you to do any other clips you wanted to play.
I just have the intro to the show, which kind of introduces you to everybody with a dumb
music bed in the background.
This is Rover's Morning glory Rover have some responsibility
They'll call the cops on you
Charlie I got the dog dude and Jeffrey don't you think I can be old disgusting?
The clips that they've picked from these people say nothing about the people.
It's just like some, some sentence that they were saying at one point.
Three words.
Yeah, I, you know what?
I, I clip the same thing because it reminded me of, it's almost a radio's version of a
sitcom intro.
You know, like in a sitcom, they'd show each person in like three different scenarios.
Right.
Like clips from the show.
A curious hugging his mom.
Here he is at work.
Here he is, you know, it was like the same kind of figure.
It's like, there's doji and doji is like blah, blah, blah.
It doesn't, there's no rhyme or reason to it.
It's neither here nor there.
It doesn't add anything to the show at all.
Right.
But they have to introduce all the characters.
The crazy characters. So the other thing that was
fascinated about with this show Kevin, because there weren't a lot of like wacky sound effects and
things like I mentioned, it was just kind of a boring conversation for most of the show. But they do
have these bumpers when they come back in from break. And I got to go through these bumpers with you
because what they do is they pick out one of the characters on the show and they
try to put together a gag around that character and show what a dumb here and what the
character is. So I'll give back to Rover's Morning Glory.
Wait, wait, wait.
Homeless bedhead?
Yeah, homeless bedhead.
And then they think, I'm going to say, well,
and all of these bumpers follow that same formula
where they have a terrible joke.
And then they insert the person
that they're goofing on saying something.
And then it goes back into a a music bat and you know fucking rock
It's a we're back
Play play bumper too. It's another example that will be right back on rovers morning glory
Deeder wants to start hunting and killing his own food
He's been training as a chicken choker for years now
Makes complete sense welcome back to rovers morning glory
Holy shit what was going on?
Everything
What was it going
Choker
What wasn't going on You know, I was thinking about this because there's a whole generation of people who are growing up without this morning
Radio bullshit who listen to podcasts or whatever they're doing
They're gonna go back and listen to this stuff and be like, were people retarded in the 90s?
Like, what is with all these random noises and sound effects?
It's all a distraction from the fact of the content sucks.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know the reason behind,
I wish I did, why they do this,
and this has been a formula for so long with that. I don't know, I I guess we'll match them. I'm out of roll. Let's play bumper three
Sorry mom for calling you a bitch and
Breaking all of your coffee tables. Welcome
back to Rover's Morning Glory. That I was excited about because Cleanson is Stone
H. F*** it real. So that was a good way to get back into the show. Two more real quick.
Play bumper 4. As Roided up as Deeter is, you'd think his on-air performance would be enhanced.
What's the work?
Not so much.
Welcome back to Rover's Morning Glory.
Oh my god.
Yeah, that's the other Deeter's like supposed to be this Roided up, Jacked up, Guy, but he's
like the dumb Jack character
That was a fucking terrible joke
All right one more play bumper five. Let's get everybody in the mix here
Now I'd study would get a standing ovation for his performance in bed
Standing ovation for his performance in bed. Yeah, thank you. But all he ended up with was the clap. This is a weekend ruiner Rover. Welcome back to Rover's morning glory.
Hello.
Welcome back to our rubber. All right. Even to get in there guys pissed off. Huh?
That joke was fucking garbage. He thought he was gonna get a standing
ovation for his performance at bed from the crowd. What are they fucking talking?
It's a worse setup. Anyway. This is Motherfucking Rovers morning glory god damn it.
So count him. I was listening to these these bumpers. Um, and the reason why I made
everybody else listen to him too is because they inspired me.
I was like, you know what?
I can take this exact same formula and use it on WATP.
And if I was smart, I would spread this out over the next few episodes, but fuck it.
I'm just gonna blow my wand.
Play the WATP bumper one.
And remember, remember the formula.
You rip on someone on the show, you play a clip clip from that person and then you're back in all righty
Yeah, nothing but a stuttery prick I think it's all but then I
W
My god, that was pretty good. Listen, I have a pretty ridiculous production team here at WATP, which allows me to put
together these amazing beds.
Alright, let's keep it going.
WATP Bumper number two.
Kevin's jokes are terrible.
Fuck, is this what I sound like?
What a retard.
W-A-T-P. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Jokes are shit I noticed in a thing here
Don't get me wrong. I didn't spend a lot of time writing these
I didn't put a lot of effort into the writing part of it. I don't they did to either so that's fine
Exactly, all right. I got another one bumper number three
Just weird references that don't really go anywhere.
W-A-T-P! Back at you!
Oh god damn it, I wish I could have made some of these.
Why, next week you get your revenge.
Because there is one more of course there
Guess who this one's about all right here we go
Can you believe this?
Right, you know, I that's a very good question. I don't know
Oh
Holy shit
That was fantastic
I don't know what to say. I wish that I would have thought of you You should say a spuck you Carl. This is the last episode of W.A.
No, I got Jesus. I don't get a shit.
No, I just love the randomness of it. They're just, they're,
you're pulling quotes that have nothing to do with what you're saying.
Thank you. I'm glad you noticed that. I think, I'm like, I can find you saying anything.
I just pulled it and dumped it into what I pray and.
Kevin loves when people get cancer lose a little
loose.
I'm like, oh yeah, that one time, yeah, I listened to Rovers Morning Club.
Back at you, W-H-E.
Hold on, I'm running that down.
Kevin loves it when people get cancer.
That's a good one.
All right.
I'll have that ready for next week.
Kevin wants kicked a puppy.
Kevin thinks your grandma sucks.
Dick.
So what a, so that was yeah, that I like that was I think we should have bumpers.
I think we should do that.
Maybe we could like.
It's done and done.
We should just turn this podcast into like a morning
zoo show.
I could get some chick to, you know, co-host and be like,
oh, guys, come on.
Good.
There's this, he's talking about flying to Australia.
And he has this whole big setup with zero payoff.
Play track four. You click search for flights and little dots come
up or something. Okay, we're searching for your flights. And then the list comes back.
And I kid you not. I don't remember what I was off the top of my head. I almost had a
heart attack though. I can't believe that that there are even flights anyway. You could fly the Mars. I saw Elon Musk talking
about going the Mars. I think it would be cheaper to fly the Mars than it is to
Australia. The whole setup was how expensive it is to fly to Australia. He didn't
even know the price. He's like, I don't even know. I don't even know. Right. just throw a number out there
But I hit the search button and
Is there a searcher that another gave up
I was so I was so bad that it was so I could I got a flowed to a Pluto
Elon Musk says he wants to go to Pluto by
2035 Oh, I love that he had to he had to keep it current by bringing in Elon Musk to save the list.
He just didn't know what to say at that point.
I was like, oh, but you can fly the bars cheaper than Australia.
The other day, Dugie, I was using Google and I searched Untalented Host and I clicked,
uh, get lucky now. And it went went and the first result that came up was
a picture of me. I guess I wasn't so lucky after all. I guess I wasn't so like and then it
goes to commercial. All right there's this other thing that happened on the Thursday show that I was obsessed with.
They do every Thursday, they do this thing called hook up potty or something like that.
I'll play the bumper, it's the set up to a play track 13.
Let's, you ready for the third?
Yes.
Hook up theater.
All right, here we go.
Hi, girls. Hi,
party guy.
Rovers hookin.
Oma.
It's the Thursday hook up powered by Miller.
Life on Rovers morning.
Glory.
All right.
OK, so here's the premise, Kevin.
It's the Thursday,
hotty hook up.
They bring in some single chick into the studio.
And they talked to her for a little while.
And then they line up three guys on the phone
and she asked them questions and then she chooses a winner and they go out on a date and
that's all paid for by the stations so they get a limo and they get dinner and stuff.
So this 19 year old chick comes in named Sarah and Kevin, she is a fucking disaster.
and Kevin, she is a fucking disaster. I don't know who would want to date this chick,
but I pulled a couple of clips.
This first clip here is called Sarah.
Sounds like a fucking disaster.
She's talking about her ex-boyfriend
and one of the reasons why they broke up.
My car was on EU's trash. There was blood stains all in the back of my car, so... And one of the reasons why they broke up.
My car was on E. It was trash. There was blood stains all in the back of my car.
So from what?
I think he was like hooking up with somebody.
But yeah, that time the month hooking up or stabbing
someone.
I mean, like he was skateboarding too at the time.
So it could have been from that too, but I don't know.
Uh huh.
All right.
Now, what do you like to do for fun, Sarah?
Rovers trying to save it. Like he's like, oh,
so, uh, it was fucking ridiculous.
The whole, the whole premise there where she let her boyfriend borrow the car.
He brings it back.
There's no gas in it.
And there's bloodstates in the back.
And she's like, uh, probably fucking subject. Like, this is not the first thing I would think.
Right.
If they're in the back of a car.
Or, or that he got him from skateboarding.
I know. It's like, oh, I was skateboarding. I fell and then I laid in the back of the car for a while.
Yeah, that's that makes sense.
I was skateboarding. I fucked a chick and then I fell and then, uh, then I killed somebody and put
him in the trunk.
I actually got a large gash in my arm and then I let some hobo fuck that gash out of the heart.
Jeez.
I hate that sound blood got everywhere. I apologize for that.
So now I have Sarah sounds like a fucking disaster part two. This is right after that conversation.
I mean like the weekends, yeah, but I don't really like have friends too much after high school
so I don't really like hang out with anybody.
Why don't you have friends after high school?
Because like they're just filled with drama like I have one friend in the hallway but like
that's about it and I hang out with her but that's I mean.
That's it.
Yeah.
Um alright.
This uh this broad says like as much as I do.
Oh, she's, she's awful.
I didn't even pull that out because I would have taken forever.
I was too busy writing fucking jokes about sucky you are.
To pull on other likes.
This is guy say like a lot or what?
I love the fart noises too.
That was a nice good fart noise
Well, you know what I missed my calling. I should have been working on one of these morning's zero shows
I feel like I I would have been promoted very quickly nobody puts more farts out effects into a bed than this fucking guy
Another promotion for you
Lead fart inserter. That's what your title would be.
Why can't it be now?
Well, I'll tell you what I want. This is our shit.
So this this girl Sarah is a 19 year old who has zero friends.
And she's going on a FM morning zoo show to get a date. In the world of fucking
Tinder and all these different hook up things, she's going on an FM radio station to fight a date.
Like what a fuck that that premise right there, you're already like what the fuck is wrong with this
person. I'm surprised that that people actually listen to the show, but then Rover asked her
just a fucking ridiculous question. This is so awkward. Play track 16.
Sarah, what about you? You had any injury to your boobs? Vag? Nothing. You ever been punched
in the boobs? You ever been in a fight or anything? What the fuck? What the fuck?
What's the...
What's the...
What is he getting out there?
Any Injury Steer vagina or your boobs?
What about you, Serenity?
Is your boobs your badge?
That's literally the question he just asked
this night-tea-girl who came into the studio to play a game.
You look like the type of girl that would have injuries to her boobs
Any guys ever use those at a speed bag before
Before any of doji just spoke up was like yeah last night from you asshole
It's probably like his kinkers, but you want to get punched in the boom after the show?
I'm gonna punch you with a vagina with my penis
Over and over.
Over and over and out.
Alright, so I love this part of the show, Captain.
I really did because this woman is a disaster.
The show premise, the game, this premise of this game is fucking dumb.
And then it gets even dumber.
So when the guys get on the phone and they're like,
yeah, I want to date this chick,
they'll talk to the guy for a little bit,
and then Sarah gets to ask them questions,
but it's not questions that she's asking.
It's questions that were written for her,
and they're fucking retarded.
So I have a bunch of examples.
Play hook-up question one.
Jeffrey's wife is going to have a kidney stone procedure.
What is the last medical procedure you had done?
So she had to tie it back to the show.
So you could tell she's reaching,
Jeffries wife had a medical, like,
Jeffries wife, what does that have to do with
fucking anything?
Right.
Well, we were talking about,
we were talking about her kidney stills
at a previous episode of robber's party glory
So the audience would be totally cute into that so that's gonna be the first question that he's gonna ask
After I find out whether or not our nipples are bruised I need to know whether or not what are opinions are about you know
kidney stouts
Gavin you know, that's like a program director
Who's coming in and saying we got to make this about the show? uh, kidney stones. Gavin, you know, that's like a program director
who's coming in and saying,
we gotta make this about the show,
we gotta make a scene like these kids
are such rabid fans that all they talk about in life
is in comparison to what's going on with the show.
Like, that would be a normal question.
Like, hey, you know, Jeffrey from uh,
uh, Rovers Morning Glory is wife, you know,
with the kidney stone.
Like, this fucking ret-
Alright, move it on
Here's the thing. Here's my theory on it. I don't think this girl is a real
Person lucky for a day. This is most likely an intern that they dragged in here and then give her a bunch of questions and ask her
You know what I mean like that? I just doubt that there's you could be right. You could be right
They do this every Thursday though. This is a different person in every Thursday
There'd be a lot of interns
Yeah, that's true. It would be like they would be like David Letterman number of interns. That'd be a lot
I got the next hook-up question. I actually called it I don't remember what this is right now, but it's I call it very stupid
All right, what else one One last question here for Mitchell.
When it comes to that time of the month, are you afraid to put a little ketchup on your hot dog?
No, I'm not. I'm down to try anything. I really tried it, but...
Do you put out when it's that time of the month, Sarah? No.
No, you don't. No, you don't. So apparently they had to get that
question there because it was hilarious to say put a little ketchup on your hot dog.
But how old are we? What the fuck? Why would she ask that question to, you know,
it's like a dating game kind of thing and she doesn't do that. So why would she ask
someone that? Exactly. I like that you said that like what age are we?
And we just had clips with Farts and stuff.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
OK.
Stop putting up my inconsistency.
All right, let's keep it going.
Let's listen to more fucking terrible questions.
This is so convoluted.
Play question three.
All right, Cheryl, what do you want to know about Ricky?
Theater seven in the past.
He had a jock itch on,
or he had a jock itch on most boys.
Tell me about a problem you had with your ocean.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, I have to turn the page too.
I can read this quite.
What is this theater set in the past he had
Jack itch on the boy
Yeah, she was saying like itching little boys
Say what is he
What a fucking moron
Well that question is is so stupid.
Does anyone call their balls the boys?
That's only like a morning jack thing.
We call them the boys here.
I like to take care of the boys before I go out.
And they pick up chicks for the Thursday hookup.
Yeah, I like to punch the boys and shove my fingers in my life's nose.
Yeah. Yeah, I like to punch the boys and shove my fingers in my life's nose. Yeah
So that was a disaster because it's a fucking convoluted ridiculous question and then question four
What's point of that one in order to ensure that the candidate that you want to win?
Well, when the presidency would you have sex with the opposing candidate?
No, that's not a good question.
That's the dumbest question ever.
Oh god, these are...
It just can't be worse.
Just asking a guy if he would have sex with the opposing candidate.
So if the guy wants to go for Hillary as the fuck Donald Trump, that's a good question.
Let me just tell you, do you punch jaddle Trump with the boys?
Have you bruised his boys before?
Have you ever put...
How long do you have to go down on Trump to get him hard?
That's a good question.
Would you ever put your ketchup on his
leader?
All right, and they continue to get
dumb and dumb or hook up question number five
Sarah what do you want to know about Tony?
Jeffrey once had sex in front of his mother-in-law. Have you ever banged in front of anyone?
Oh wait a minute one of the
One of the dudes had sex in front of his mother-in-law
Yeah, but do you think that's real? This is all just fucking nonsense
They're all just putting on radio, schtick. I don't think this guy...
Because the episode you listen to was all about how apparently he was with some
grown-up car and whipped his cock out or something. Yeah, and oh my god, it's a thing that...
That went nowhere, that whole story, too.
And they talked about it for, what, like, two or three segments, right? It went on and on and on.
Oh yeah, yeah, there was a commercial break,
I think in the fucking middle of it, yeah.
That's one of the problems with these,
you know, we're supposed to be reviewing podcasts
and we're kind of cheating by, you know,
this is a podcast, but it's really a radio show.
And they are just, they have to milk it
because they have five hours to fill every fucking morning.
So they just have to fucking drag these things on and on and on.
Yeah, it's, that's definitely, you know, it's really not, you know, meant to be a podcast,
you know, you know, I mean, like it's not going to be this it too. Well, yeah, it shouldn't be
listened to like a thing like that. Right. All right, two more questions just to end this whole rant
that I'm having.
Hook up question number six.
Would you rather eat dinner with your entire family nude
or take a money shot into your hands or onto your hands?
What the, what's, Evan, what does that even mean?
Take a money shot onto your hands?
Well, I mean, so basically jerk off, right?
I mean, and that's pretty much what's gonna happen
when you jerk off as a guy.
Right?
So, okay, so you either have dinner
with your whole family and you're all naked.
Okay.
Or some guy jerks off onto your hands.
Is that the, I must have that question.
I believe that that is the premise of that.
That's fucking retarded.
And you should have heard the banter back and forth
afterwards, because then they asked Sarah, of course,
Rover being this fucking retarded as he is,
asked Sarah, what would you rather do?
And she's like, oh, I would have dinner
with my family naked.
And she's like, wait, what?
You've never had a guy giz on your tits or something?
You really?
That's what you would do.
She's like, oh, no.
Oh my god.
You got fucking lawyers.
I mean, it's a fucking bizarre question to ask a guy.
And then for a girl to say she'd rather, I don't know.
I was very confused.
I'd be like, what's the meal that we're eating?
I'd be like, can I lick it off my hands afterwards?
All right, let's play the last one.
I have a question seven.
Let's say we're apart from each other
and we wanted to get down and dirty.
How would you make something happen
to where we could both reach the top of the mountain
even though we're miles apart?
Oh, what kind of dumb vague question?
That's like a seal song lyric
Stop all the mountain
That's fucking dumb. I don't know what they were going for there. I mean
That was yeah, it's just good as my rover
I'm so glad you let that go you I feel like you were about to be like that was fucking seal
But you know the thing is I I don't even know if I could do a seal like let me let me think about me
We get to the top of the mountain
We come on each other's chest
Or do hand jibbers.
Would you rather eat dinner with your parents naked,
or take a load in your palms?
Sorry.
I got to hear.
Well, the other day I was searching for flights to Australia.
I typed in the search.
I hit the search button.
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, and I got the results.
I think that should be a reoccurring character.
What would happen if Seal were singing to Cobra Commander?
At that time, I've been kicked, gizzed on my palms by a dude.
That was kissed by a rose.
I got it.
I think this guy is a homo or something.
I don't know.
I should hook him up with Destro.
He would like this.
Destro loves seal.
I know that much. Yeah, I like that you hit both of Seal's songs.
Good job.
Yeah, well, there's only, yeah, there is only the two of them.
So there's only two.
Yeah.
All right.
So, I have something that's a little bit of a longer clip.
But it's again, Rover just starts talking. And I don't know why, but he can't stop himself.
So I have this clip that I call this is the polar opposite of an interesting conversation.
And I did clip parts out of it in the middle because it was so long.
So you'll hear that it sounds a little bit wonky, but listen to this fucking ridiculous premise.
Track five.
I don't think I ever said this, but one time I was sitting around, it was during one of our
winter vacations, maybe last year, the year before.
I was sitting around once and we had like a couple of weeks, a few weeks off and theater
was going to Puntakana. Oh God. Don't even
I'm not gonna be bad. I'm gonna go. I know we should do. Oh God. We should just show up in Puntakana
and be like on the beach or whatever and walk by and be like, oh, hey, what are you doing here?
I got you. I don't think I don't think theater said where he doing here? I don't think Deeter said where he was going.
I don't think he even told me, but I'm like, I figured out through the grapevine.
He was going to put the conor or whatever. Well, we should just go there and just just
just not shallotly walk down the beach and see him.
Kevin, did you foul that conversation just now? He goes, he goes, I don't know if
I've ever said this as if it's an amazing anecdote he's about to come out with. And instead,
it's, I had this idea that I would go to where a guy I work with is vacationing and show up there
and then he would see me there. Yeah, that's that's pretty much the premise of what he was coming up with. He's a real
He should be on punked. He should write for punk. Oh, yeah, so imagine
That would be one hell of an episode
So today we're gonna we're gonna follow
Deeter to to one of his vacation spots
me and doji
Are gonna meet him down there,
but he doesn't know that we're going.
So we're just gonna sit back here and drink
while he doesn't even notice that we're here.
He just got punk, he doesn't even know it.
He doesn't even know he's been punked.
Wait till he sees this episode of punk,
he's gonna know that he got punked.
Yeah, I'll be in the background drinking with Dujee.
Like Kevin, you and I do a show together.
If I were to go to Vegas and I saw you there, I'd be like,
oh, hey, what's up, Kevin?
You want to get dinner later?
That's awesome that you're here.
Like, what, how is that such a fucking crazy premise?
I was thinking it'd be amazing if we like went to where he is.
So there's a payoff to this story because of course,
Dugi being, you know, doing her job has to make a scene
like this is a whole, various premise. And so this payoff is full of fake laughter.
I surmised he would leave. He would go back to his hotel room. Right. He would, he would
pick up, he would get whatever is closed, throw him into a suitcase and just fly. Not even back here. Like, yeah, he'll just fly anywhere.
Right.
Before back to the show, fly it out.
Please don't fire me.
I need this job.
I'm telling us to.
Fucking radio's garbage. Shit is garbage. And then they play they he reads this fucking fan letter that's so goddamn fake play track seven.
Let's see yeah Bob writes I'm a 64 year old widowed male I moved here from
Central Florida in 2012 I've listened to many talk shows,
Monsters in the morning, the Phillips file.
Those are both from Orlando, he says,
in Howard Stern, you have the most interesting show.
I've followed, I love your crew.
I love hearing about Dujie and her daughter.
You know, I know that's fake.
Nobody wants to hear about Dujie's daughter.
And he said he was 64. I don't know.
64 year old guys that are like, I need to get up and listen to,
if I could get up in the board, he'd listen to Rover.
Yeah, seriously, it's just fucking that the whole promise of that.
And that was the whole segment. It was just a segue to get into something about Dujie's daughter.
But that was just fake. It. Again, this is nothing authentic
about this show, just fucking made up. Hey, look at Ralph from Central Queens wrote in and said,
fuck Howard Stern, you get to the best, alright? No, no, he didn't.
It's all a bunch of bunch of shit, the show can take a fucking fly, but leave.
show can take a fucking fly but leave. That's true, was that coming from your room? I told you no loud music after we storm the joes. We're done for the day, God damn it.
That son of a bitch, that's true. Let me tell you, he's got a bedroom upstairs here at the HQ and he has the balls to put a sign on the front that says
It says kids only that means he doesn't walk me in there
Gross yeah, he says it's a
It says grown ups and it has a cross like through it like a like the ghost busters logo
He's a little shit fucking dust girl man he's up to no good in there yeah he you know what I bet he does
in there I bet he jesus on his palms like this like they're talking about it
yeah the money shot on the hand chrome j. I think that's what Destro shoots.
Yeah, I would imagine you're right about that.
Let me grab my...
He's got a commander, he's got a rocket,
he's got a spare, he's gonna shock ya,
and he's gonna make with the walk, the walk,
and he's Kevin's funny voices.
It sounds like a gay porn out here.
Thank you, everybody. Thank you. All right, so I do have just a couple more things I want to play and you might have some more stuff to come in, but
There's another bumper in here play bumper six
That's shizzy on rovers morning glory
Pigs or it didn't happen. It or no did guess what?
Take and you can see it now at roveradio.com or it didn't happen. Vid or no, Vid. Guess what? We got it all on tape.
And you can see it now at roveradio.com.
Did you follow that?
So, Picks or it didn't happen.
I've heard that saying,
Vids or no Dids?
Yeah, Vid or not did or something.
That was so shoe hard.
Yeah, I don't know about that one.
Fucking dumb. But anyway, so the reason why,, I don't know about that one. Fucking dumb.
But anyway, so the reason why,
and do anything so outrageous is,
and you're like, whoa, there's no way
she just read the news for real.
I gotta, I gotta see the,
I gotta see the 19 year old that got punched in the tits.
I wanna punch that chick's boobs.
So the reason why I clipped that
is because I heard the guy who's doing the announcing on that is at the same guy who does the man cow bumpers. I pulled my favorite one from the man cow episode so that we could compare and contrast here.
All right. Watch this of morning radio So let me play this one again hold on
That's shizzy on rovers morning glory
Guess what
Sounds similar I This morning radio sounds similar. I wouldn't know like if you just played each other's bumpers at in their shows
I don't think anyone would know the difference because it's all just fucking nonsense noise anyway
Can't do nothing but a stuttery prick
It sucks. I think it's all but then I I just
Covered back at you w-a-t-t
The morning radio I have just one of the coming back at you W-A-T-T is more sorry
you have watched this
of morning radio
that's awesome
we should do a little show of nothing but fucking bumpers
I just never had
uh
great
Kevin juk jokes are terrible. Oh, fuck is this what I sound like?
W-A-T-P
I just want to tell everyone Kevin's doing all that out the fly
Yeah, I was impressive dude
I just want to tell everyone Kevin's doing all that out the fly. Yeah, that's fun. I wish I had I wish I had the controls over here sometimes
I would do that all day just to amuse myself
Yeah, so yeah, they just try to cram as much shit into these clips and it's you know with some fucking intern
Some kid who's like, you know studying broadcasting or whatever it is in college who's doing these drops for them, you know
And then you're saying you're saying that it's easy and anyone can do it now if I did
I thought I was brilliant 18-year-olds or 19-year-olds can do it pretty easily, you know
I'll punch those 19-year-olds into their boobs in their boobs
All right, Kevin. I don't want to play anymore close from
Rovers Morning Glory. Do you anything from your episode that you want to?
I really don't I did not clip a lot because I got wrapped up in the
Deeter showing his dick to someone story,
which was horrible.
It's some, I'm selling it now.
Like it's sound like it's interesting.
It's totally not interesting.
There's lots of dead air and bullshit
and they don't really go anywhere.
So there's really really nothing to clip in there.
So I heard a little bit of that show
because I was listening to it last week
when I was pulling a clip for our teaser.
And the reason why I didn't listen to that episode
is because it seemed like it was a non-story to begin with.
You know, all of this chick, yeah, I got with this chick
and she was driving me around and then she claims
that I whipped my dick out.
It's like, who would even care?
What the fuck's the difference?
So you're saying that some nobody was with some other nobody
and one of them pulled their penis out.
I'm already moving on.
And they fucking believe her this boring anecdote for 35 minutes.
I was like, I'm not going to listen to that one.
Well, that's too bad.
Not to defend them, but could you imagine if we had to do a show five days a
week for whatever three or four hours a day?
Well, the fans would be happy.
That's for sure.
That's all they've been doing.
That I would just do whole episodes with seal impression.
You know, I mean, I would I'd'd have to fill time with really, really shitty impressions more than I do
now. And yeah, it just wouldn't, it wouldn't be good. We'd be,
I would literally just check out for an hour at a time while
you're singing your goddamn seal song. I'd be, I'd walk the
audience through doing my turbo tax. I'm like, Oh, we got
nothing else to talk about. So, uh, let me see. Did I,
did I donate anything last year? Did I donate anything to Goodwill? Because I really would
like to put that on there and just maybe knock some money off of my return. What do you
guys think? You know, why don't we go to the cameras and you guys could watch over my shoulder and I
Don't know see if I can maybe
If I could just figure out what to claim for next for the for next year
Fuck is this what I sound like?
What a reader W-A-T-P!
Hey, we're back.
Coming up.
I went up after the break, I would have typed an email to a client.
Should I e-file or print them out and mail them in?
Like, that would be, you know, the level of shit
that we'd have to resort to.
So I mean, fine, then I'm gonna turn down
all the offers for morning shows.
Fine, you convince me.
They're just pouring in, I'm sure.
Kevin and I have been arguing about this behind the scenes.
We're getting a lot of offers from a lot of stations
and you know what, fuck them.
Fuck all of them, punch all of them in the tits.
This is what I say. So
next week, Kevin, we're gonna review another podcast and do this all over again and
I'm gonna play a teaser to get people excited about next week's show. Go ahead and play that
Somebody asked mom if we want to go on a tour of a printing factory. We all said no
Somebody asked mom if we want to go on a tour of a printing factory. We all said no
And mom said of course
And then after I was after about a half hour of the tour He said you guys want to go on the back and see the with the different kinds of ink
And we're like um, we really got to go and mom goes of course
So the kids went on a printing factory tour. Oh, they've inherited your impatience for everything
There's a reason they were the digital age.
I don't need to see printing tour.
Every once in a while,
kids need to be exposed to a spontaneous printing.
It was not. It's a right of passage.
Okay. All right.
So we're totally cheating.
And I picked yet another morning zoo show.
This one out of Tucson, Arizona.
I've heard of it.
Is that where you are, Kevin?
That's where I live.
Yes.
So are they in Phoenix?
Or is it just Tucson?
I think they might be in both.
Like in my case, the indicated thing.
So this is the John Jay and Rich show.
And again, very formulaic morning talk show with the whole as you can hear from that clip.
And a couple of guys, you are guys, guys just yakin' it up with the boarded.
I can't get enough of these shows coming.
I'm not gonna lie to you.
I'm not gonna love it.
Can we have like a substitute hole for like one of our shows, just like a girl who like
sits on just laughs and just loves everything we do. And it occasionally has like a
like a feminist point of view on one thing that we're talking about. Now guys!
And then reads the news. Come on we need that. I think we need a hole for one
episode. Rather than actually be around someone who sucks that bad,
can we just make some clips of it?
And I'll put it on your sound board there,
so you can just hit it there in the show.
That would be pretty funny if we just clipped
a shitload of different girls from morning shows.
Right.
Like if they're clips and stuff.
And that's like being off together hosts.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
I just put it together and it would be like our virtual whole if you will. I love it. I'm in.
So this this show was a suggestion from from Tucson and
I'm excited about it. I was only listening to a very little part of the beginning and it sounded dreadful
well what I've heard of this show is that they do a bit, I think it's every
Thursday kind of like the hook-up hot-y thing but it's called War of the Roses.
Oh dude War of the Roses is a well-known syndicated bit. Yeah and they, from what I've
heard people around
This saying something I guess about some of the people in and to sound but I guess it's the same anywhere where you have a morning show
People think it's real so people were like did you fucking here? It's not real
Did you hear how they you know whatever like I?
Don't remember the promise
Do you want to talk about the premise of War of the Rose? I kind of I forgot how it if you know it yeah
I'll take it down all right because
You know, we used to listen to opening Anthony back when they had a show together
They would do joctober and they would listen to these
Morning shows from different markets and all of them had the War of the Roses
Because it's a syndicated bit that they actually purchase from what's the name
of that company?
Prep Berger.
Yeah.
Prep Berger.
Right.
So they purchased this bit from Prep Berger and make it seem like it's happening in Detroit
or Cleveland or wherever they are.
The premise of War of the Rose is so fucking dumb.
A chick will call in and be like, I think my husband is cheating on me.
You know, I don't know what's going on.
So they'll call up this guy at work and be like, hey, guess what?
You just won dinner for two.
And a hotel stay at blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
You know, and they'll be like, all right.
So we just need to know who you're going to be bringing.
So we can write that down.
And then they go, wow, that's amazing.
Yeah.
And then he'll say like not his wife's name.
And then they'll put her on the line with him
Supposedly, this is like how it's supposed to be playing out
But meanwhile there's commercial breaks in between
Like these people are just sitting out of the phone. I'll fucking day
And then she'll be like, why are you gonna bring bread down?
But whoa, this is Suzy. I know
And then it turns into this whole fucking blowout and it's all poorly acted and fake and it always works out
Every fucking time is the dumbest part of it. You would think that this was a real live radio bit that more times than not
The guy would say his wife's fucking name, you know
Especially knowing that he's have the radio
Well right and and also when does a radio station randomly call people
Like why would that not even legal?
You can't just put somebody on the air, right?
Hey, we're uh...
We're dipshit and doozy in the morning.
Uh, I just wanted to call you and tell you that
uh, you've just won something.
You know, like...
I did!
Tell me about what I won.
I'll stop working for the next 25 minutes.
I'll sit through commercial meds. Whatever. Let's talk.
Well, let's just say you want a, uh, an all expenses, uh, trip to the local casino, uh, in your area.
Like they don't even have the camp there.
They don't, they don't like, they're, they're just non-specific like you've won
The finest place downtown. Yeah, it's been voted the best place to eat food in your area
You know that new place downtown on Main Street. That's where you're going. Yeah, they serve hamburgers. You know the place
Yeah, so these guys do that, uh, that were the roses bed.
I don't know. That would be fun. Yeah. Yeah.
That that's how I heard about it, that it, that it's just the worst radio ever.
So I'm, I'm interested in checking it out.
Well, okay. So I'm going on their iTunes page. Uh. It's called John Jan Rich on demand.
And looking at the podcast they have available,
they have a bunch to say full show.
So they have the different dates on there.
And the one that I pulled that clip from is from October 6th.
But then they have, every Wednesday,
they have hump day, dump day.
No, no, every, yeah, every Wednesday's hump day dump day
and then every Thursday, like you said,
is War of the Roses and they pull those bits out separately.
So they actually have War of the Roses podcasts
if we wanted to just go in and listen to those.
Oh, I think if you do, when I was,
doing research when I heard about this show,
if you type it into Google, the world of
roses comes up like if you know to the auto complete, so they must be like well-known
for using this bit or whatever. So this must be like their signature thing.
Wait, what do you mean? So if you Google John J and Rich, if you start typing
John J and Rich, if you start typing John J and Rich,
and it stays close.
Oh, I just typed the roses,
and I don't see John J and Rich anywhere on this.
No, no, you'll see the movie from the 90s
on the Broadway.
But now that there was a movie called War of the Roses.
But if you type in John J and Rich,
and then you're getting it, Yeah, right. It comes up.
It's podcasts.
Right.
So are these guys the originator of this garbage?
I, who knows?
I'm not sure.
I, I'm saying no.
Only because that's just a wild guess, but I doubt these guys were this clever to come up
with this, but I'm, I'm really looking forward to it.
So yeah, I think we should, to answer
your question before, maybe we should pull a War of the Roses bit, you know, and review
one of those. And then, you know, some parts of the regular show or something. I mean, just
kind of do that just so we can kind of encompass all of their shenanigans.
Well, we've teased the fuck out of War of the R Rose. It'd be fun if we didn't talk about it ever again.
Yeah, yeah, next episode we're like,
you know what, I kind of like the show.
That's pretty good.
Yeah, it was good.
All right, all right, move it on.
Actually, the show that I pulled,
which is October 6, does have the War of the Rose's bit in it.
Oh, good, okay.
So we're fucking covered, Kevin.
Yay.
We're covered.
Yay. Sweet. All're covered. Yay.
Sweet.
All right, guys, listen, we've had a lot of fun today,
but please join us again next week because it might be the show
where we find out once and for all who are these podcasts.
Sleep well, every pony.
Party in the morning of Morning Radio.
You're now to show these cold, right now. Radio. you I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't get it.
Makes no sense.
Can you believe this, Kevin Fella?
Right?
You know, I, that's a very good question.
I don't know.
And now, back to W.A. TV!
And now, back to WWE!
TV!
Hahaha!