Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep375 - Seek Treatment
Episode Date: January 8, 2023Two comics who aren’t funny think they should be way more famous than they are. The twist is that they’re actually much more popular than they should be based on their talent levels. Not only are ...they not funny, they’re actually quite annoying. Tab Birt from Here's What I Don't Get joins the show to discuss how singing for no reason is not a substitute for having a personality. Then we check out Stuttering John getting wasted on Beer on the Balcony, Tommy calling out Elon Musk, and Patty C Cups analyzing The Golden Hour's three hosts - Brendan Schaub, Chris D'elia, and Erik Griffin. Also, another riveting round of To Catch An Alien with Cardiff Electric. https://hwidg.com/ Tickets for DabbleCon – http://watplive.com/ Support us, get bonus episodes, Vic and Hannah pics, and watch live every Saturday and most Wednesdays: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
DAD!
Why are you here?
DAD!
Who is it?
Episodes!
375!
You know what I miss penis!
Are you a boner guy?
What a dick!
What are you talking about?
I'm the one who should apologize.
Be clap.
Cuzz!
Be clap.
Cuzz a row!
Cuzz a row!
Slapperoonie. It's show time.
MUSIC
W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P.
Hello, Robert Nixon.
Kuzahruz.
Welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts? The Only Show. That was the original show to rip off, Jack.P. Hello, Robert Nixon, Gus and Rooz. Welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts,
the only show that was the original show
to rip off Jacktober.
I'm your host, Carl.
With me today, pay up, it's tab.
Welcome, thank you.
I always say welcome back.
I say welcome on my show.
I'm on your show now.
I think I got to you too quickly there.
You weren't ready for it.
That's my fault.
How you been, buddy?
I'm great. How are you?
Great, great to have you back on the show.
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Mike Moore, Senthon Akumia, Chrissy Mayer,
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So please go to wtplive.com to check that out.
Also, we encourage our listeners to give us a five-star review
on how to podcast and then shit all over us
in the comments section today.
We'll be reviewing a show called Seek Treatment.
This was a suggestion from Doug from the Jinger's department.
We have both listened separately.
We have not discussed it with each other beforehand.
Let's get into it.
It's a show hosted by Catherine Cohen and Pat Regan,
two people who weren't on my radar,
but maybe they should be,
cause why were they talented?
Hahaha.
Yeah, talking about not on your radar,
I had never heard of either of these people
until the teaser last week,
and on Wednesday's episode when you said,
we're gonna be listening to this,
and I went and Googled it and I was like,
Oh, oh no.
Can I read you from the description of their show?
Something that's very off-putting to me? Please do. I read a bunch of descriptions and they're all different and they're all terrible
Seek treatment is a playful fun and flirty podcast where beloved and
criminally under-famous comedians Catherine Cohen and Pat Regan talk about boy sex dating and love
criminally under-famous comedians is how they describe themselves tab.
Yes, they've taken a lot of attention.
Yes, correct.
And a lot of what Catherine talks about her cat, cat and cat.
A lot of what she talks about is how busy she is
in her life and show business.
It's a lot of the conversation is around her on sets
and doing hair and makeup and doing this. It's like all right. We got it. You're super successful at showbests. Yeah, the bass great
Cool one of the big things that they talked about on the episode
I listened to was followers they were just obsessed with like we need follower accounts
We need you know, I need to be more famous and
so
The pat Regan he was talking about how he wanted,
they basically both want free stuff,
they want followers, they want to be famous
so they get free stuff.
Sure.
Because they're broken.
And so he talks about my clip six,
he's like, he's talking about emailing a company
to try and get freebies.
Yeah, but I don't want to say what it is,
because actually DM, so DM, them and them and was not hey, because like they use sponsor some runners that are
um have lower follower counts than me. So I was like, oh, let me see if I can get this
for free. Yeah, I get it for free. I never get it to my friends for free.
Yeah, why is he saying this out loud?
And I also do not believe that he's never DM someone
to try and get free shit.
He obviously has.
He's looking at the other people that are influencers
for that brand and going, I have more followers in them.
I should be an influencer for this brand.
Oh, that's embarrassing.
It is so embarrassing.
And then cat, like they spin off.
The thing about this show is that they're talking about nothing. Yes
It's very hard to listen to because they're just kind of one of them has a thought and starts talking about it
And then the other one has another thought yes and starts talking about something else
And then that goes on for about 45 minutes and then the show is over right
But she she does follow up on this conversation in my
My clip seven talking about and she like leaves off with a very
Sinister warning to these companies and then they were like we're gonna check back in in the new year and see how we feel about it
I think okay cool, but I don't want to say who it is until like until they respond they own up to what they did and they own up to their actions
They hold themselves accountable. They're accountable to
Pat because he has followers
to give him free things.
In her mind, that's the way it works.
They literally blew him off.
Like you would blow off a chick you're not interested in.
Like, oh, you know, I'm really busy this month,
but you know, check back with me in December.
Maybe we can get some and go and,
and she's like, well, that chick better fuck
and check back with you the next month.
It's like, well, no, they don't want to work with you. It's like, well, that chick better fuck a check back with you. The next month. It's like, well, no, they don't want to work with you.
That's where they go.
Yeah.
Their brains are broken.
All right, so here's an example of them having
two different conversations at the same time.
This sounds to me like if I watch into a room
and both people are on their phone
having a conversation with different people.
Yeah.
Why am I not having?
Why am I not having? Why am I not hiring?
Do you know who I'm at?
Who you're gorgeous friend introduced me to?
Oh, okay.
And it's like me.
Megan, no.
I, it's very hard to follow this, this show
and understand what's going on.
This is the show that kind of,
some things up for me.
And there's a lot of singing that goes on
because they're both performers. They're very much theater kids. I teased when I sent out the
description of the show for people watching the live stream that the guy Pat Regan is an improv
comedian, which we'll get into in a minute. But there's something about improv comics
and just people who need attention
where they just are constantly singing things.
Sing it for the rest.
I miss getting a patty melt a long time.
It's like a patty melt from Waverly Diner
with a chocolate malt after the duplex with the...
I know, oh my God, that was, that was,
that was when things were good.
Those were the days.
I love you.
I almost just texted on this text.
I'm sure I was worth the days that everyone knows everybody gets.
Everybody gets low.
What's wrong with that?
I miss that.
It's winding road by Cheryl.
No, no, that's everything.
Oh, but you can't tell from what they're saying.
Everybody else.
Oh, everyday is a wonder.
Every day is a wonder.
Every day is a one I love.
That's lyric.
That's how this thing was.
Talk about retarded.
Talk about retarded.
They don't know any of the lyrics, anything.
I'm here.
It's so bad.
And they sing constantly and pat a mumbler.
And so they're like, they'll start both singing the same song,
but they're not singing at this.
It's like a Patrick Michael Smeal recording
when they start singing.
It is awful.
And they do it constantly.
A follow-up to that.
They didn't know that every day is like a winding road
is the lyric, which is actually the title of the fucking song.
But he did understand
that this song was used
in car commercials.
So I'm not sure why he thought car commercials
were using it if he thought it was.
Every day is the one I love.
That's in a lot of car commercials during its time.
What I wouldn't give.
To be in a car commercial.
Who was I thinking that I wanted to be earlier?
And Miss Dominic feels absolutely fucked up.
Fucked up from the...
What's that phrase?
Anyways, whatever.
That's not true.
Dominic is doing bad, naughty things.
My bruises are so beautiful that it looks like a galaxy.
What are you doing this weekend?
Do you shoot on the weekends?
I hate this fucking show.
Dude, Catherine is devoid of a personality.
She is.
She has nothing going on.
All she does is just go, oh my God, I'm just out of it.
I'm in the mood for pizza right?
I just ran to nonsense because I'm out of her mouth
and pants no better.
So he's not helping things.
He's not getting her on track at all.
I like your analogy that it's like walking into a room
with two people talking on the phone.
Yeah. Because that's, it felt like when your,
your mom or your sister or your girlfriend
is on the phone with their mom or sister,
girlfriend or whatever, and you only kind of hear
half the conversation, but, and you're,
you're in and out, but like you walk out,
you go to the bathroom, you come back 90 seconds later,
and they're talking about something completely unrelated
to what they were talking about a moment before.
And they just like they interrupting one another, they're talking about something completely unrelated to what they were talking about a moment before. And they're interrupting one another,
they're talking over one another.
My clip one is the intro to the most recent episode.
And so like your show, music fades out,
you do the WATP, you say all your stuff,
and then we talk, that's your show's normal intro.
On the crossovers with Dick, you do the yeah,
and then Dick does your normal W's normal intro. On the crossovers with Dick, you do the yeah, and then Dick does your normal WTP intro.
They both do the intro to their show together.
Like they haven't figured out who the fucking house
of the show is.
So play clip one.
Yeah, they might want to have a conversation about this.
Hey.
Hey, it's Kucho.
It's Patrick. It's Patrick Regan. And this is
the excitement of podcast about boys, that's fucking dating and love.
I love only one of you needs to say that just. Also, I want to point out because
even in the theme song, this is the description
of this show.
It's very confusing because I believe what it is, it's about boys, comma, sex, comma
fucking, comma, dating, comma and love.
But it says boys, sex, fucking dating and love, and I'm thinking it's boys, sex, fucking
dating and love. That's not's boy sucks fucking dating in love
Abla
Last good one
The I wish the show is as fun as that song. Yeah, it's it's it's a lot less fun
With the song no the song is like a perfect encapsulation because it starts out
It has that like nice slapping first have and then they just say seek treatment about 16 times. Yeah. For the
back half of the song, which really easy is you into the low energy. Hey. Yeah. So you
mentioned that Pat is a bit of a mumble McGee. I have an example of that here.
But if there's a way I can have a jester be brought to me and I know and and
fall if it if it just if there's a place where they can bring a jester to me.
I'm talking about fucking mumble and stuttering and luke fucking.
And the thing about Pat is he was irritating me on the one episode I listen to
where he's very high energy,
very over-the-top flame boy and, hey, this is not my talk! Well, that's hell, hey, I'm a gay guy.
But even worse, is low-energy vocal fry, Pat, which you'll hear in this example.
I'm sure that low-time just doesn't have a single diner for real girls.
And I mean, not just like by standing for diners for real girls is literally like, um,
tender greens, which I fucking love for some reason
I've never been that low energy my life. No, when I wake up in the morning. I'm not like oh my god
I can't even today and if you worry wouldn't talk
Correct that's a microphone for you stupid. Yeah, I think you're excited about it
I don't understand why this needs to be a podcast like I get it their friends
They want to like catch up and chat and gossip once a week
Just like fucking do that just call each other on zoom and don't put it out into the world
Well, this is the reason why they do this because both their egos need to be fed every day
Constantly very important that they get their egos fat in that actually
I think this is the episode the US is the most recent one, where Katherine, right out of the gate,
needs a compliment.
All I'm gonna say really quick is the guy
who thinks I look like shit on TikTok,
it's gonna have a field day
because I look even worse than I've ever looked before.
I kind of like it.
I kind of like it.
Oh my God, I look so bad today.
Why do you think I look amazing?
Also, the idea that there's one guy on TikTok
who says she looks like shit
and that's what's in her mind.
When they start the show, I wouldn't show my hand like that
if I were you cat.
You're gonna get a lot more people tell you,
look like fucking shit if they don't talk.
I'll talk to you so much.
She does look like shit.
She looks like a big, like,
she looks like a sponge crammed into latex glove.
I mean, that's gross.
I actually have an example of her describing
her disgusting, awkwardly-shaped body
and trying to make it huge.
Okay, my friends, I'm gonna tell y'all
that yesterday I got this cookie bruise on my ass-ass-hip.
In my mind, my hips are kind of like extended ass
because my ass is secretly sort of like small and flat
but my hips are massive.
So my hips are just my,
h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h.
Ext-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h.
What I call my extended ass.
And all my extended ass.
I got this crazy bruise yesterday
from failing to jump, correct me on a piano.
Oh, God.
Stars are just like us.
What does that mean stars are just like us?
I don't know.
I think she's trying to say that she's a star.
She is because she says that in her, in her standup special, it, she's like, she does
the Chad Zumak thing where she's trying to be like self deprecating and relatable, but
then also because the special is called like,
Catherine Cohen, plot twist, she's actually gorgeous.
She's not.
And, but in the thing, she's like,
she bounces back and forth from being self-deprecating
about how disgusting she is,
to then being about how hot and amazing
and so great everything in her life is.
And she's a lot like that in the show too.
And it just, it doesn't work
because you're not relatable as a normal person
and you're not relatable.
You're not like interesting for being famous
because I don't really know why you're famous.
Please clap.
Yeah.
So I watched the trailer to her Netflix special.
Do we mention she has a Netflix special?
She has a Netflix special.
Yeah, I watched the trailer to this.
And it's one of those things.
She comes out, there's a piano player there,
and she's telling jokes, and she's dancing,
and she's singing.
She doesn't do any of those things well,
but that's the goofy part of that.
Then, hey, look at me, I get up and I dance and I sing.
And this is what irritated me about
both of these re-tards.
And that's sort of to cross-reference.
That's sort of to cross ruffer and that's sort of giving like,
he was on my, I was on my own.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yes, it's like, it's like, this 1950s shit, they want for me, you know,
Nope.
I don't know what you're talking about, sir.
Please stop singing.
Please stop singing.
I would really appreciate it if you stopped singing.
Ah!
The, her standup special is, so it starts out,
I watched, I watched a portion of it,
I didn't watch the whole thing.
I watched the beginning and then I tried,
I went to go find the final joke,
you know, most like real comedians
build through a final joke.
Sure.
Closer.
Not Kath or Cohen.
No.
So she like, she comes out, she sings
a song about how she was like not attractive to guys when she was in high school and
seriously who the fuck cares. And then she does like 10 minutes of stand up and then she
sings another song. She does 10 minutes of stand up. And that's the like format of the
special is her singing. And then her final joke is just another song that is
I don't even remember what the joke was but the joke is one line that she just repeats
over and over and over and over and over again because those are the types of songs she writes
in the episode I listened to she wrote a song for Christmas my clip 15. Listen to this
amazing song she wrote. Listen to the song I wrote for Christmas but let me tell you about what it's like let me tell you about what it's like
every you like that you know you're not even letting your get it out to you obviously do not
want her to sing by the way tripling over that was the best thing to pants up on. I'm a fan now. I got it, I got it, no, I get it, yep, uh-huh.
I get it.
That's tough.
This song is called What It's Like,
and I just say that over and over and over again.
There's no like verse, there's no chorus,
there's no chord progressions,
there's not even really a melody to go along with.
It's just, I like to sing this phrase,
and now I'm calling this a song,
because I'm a fat, vapid cut that needs attention. So her standup show ends in the way that I assume sex with her
hands. Everyone just loses their dress.
It just happens. It just happens.
It just happens.
All right, that makes sense to me.
Yeah, it was it was a bear to watch any of that.
So Pat Regan also does stand up, but on top of that he does
improv and he reveals something right here. He's in a bad mood on top of that, he does improv.
And he reveals something right here.
He's in a bad mood on this episode, says he had a show the night before.
He didn't think he was very funny.
Guess what, Pat?
You weren't guaranteed.
And he talks about this show they did, and he reveals something that we actually talked
about when Doug from Good Times Great Movies was on with us this last episode.
We were listening to that improv show, and they were doing it live at that theater.
And why, is this other Improv troops like why is anyone participating in this or laughing
along?
What's in the thus?
No, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm like, I'm like in a place where I wasn't funny in
my Improv show last night and I'm so in love with it.
Wait, I want to hear about it.
You're being really funny today.
What does that mean?
Anything.
Well, it's carrying over where I'm like,
I'm just not falling funny in general.
Honestly, I will say like there was a lot of,
I think, true to Sarah, which I love the support,
but like, it was like getting in my head somehow.
Like that show used to be like so anonymous
in a really fun way.
And like, I just feel like I would go annoying with no.
But that's fun.
That's how it always is.
That's how it is.
No, it's even different.
Like stand up. It's like annoying when it's like you put like you're getting lost for no reason
But you could still like work through it and like you still can have jokes
But then in proff when you're gonna like it would be like someone would initiate you know
I'd be like hi and then like it would be a big laugh and then I would get really
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Basically all these non-telleted improv comments get together and laugh at each other until it's their turn and
And they're so generous with their laughter. Yeah, hoping that they get it back
That they'll just laugh at anything and then then he's there internally being like can you guys shut the fuck up
It's like if we go to like a place where there's swingers I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I read about the magazine, Gladys. I also watched Pat stand up.
I did not pull clips, but it was equally bad.
He has all of the stage presence of like the, what's that statue with the no arms?
Damn, the famous, the Venus Demilo.
So he stands there.
He's got his hands held, you know, the Mike center of his face and he just stands and just tells jokes and that annoying voice and
Some of them are like
Set up and they pay off but because there's nothing he has nothing to offer
I was just like you why are you doing this? You should be like a sales girl in in the gap. Oh, yeah
These these khakis look great on you
girl in the gap. Oh yeah, these khakis look great on you. No, honestly, I don't think you have a fat ass at all. Now,
would you wear these? It's pretty amazing.
So one of the things that they talk about on this show is their mental
illness. Now, tab, I don't even pay attention to this, but your
generation and those younger than you
love to be mentally ill.
They can't wait to be mentally ill all the time.
They're anxious, they're upset.
So that's the other thing.
Catherine and I are the same age.
Okay, yeah.
All right, so maybe you picked up
on this generational mental illness that they celebrate.
Some of the old videos, Carly posted on the Instagram, I hadn't read any of the comments.
And one of the comments was, oh, maybe they were saying, okay, here's the million dollar
question.
Someone commented, I've never seen more mentally ill people in my life.
And I assume they're always talking about us, like, and I agree.
But then I think in the clip, we're talking about love is blind.
So I think they might be talking about love is blind contestants.
But I think actually they probably were talking about us, now that I think in the clip we're talking about love is blind. So I think they might be talking about love is blind contestants I think actually they probably were talking about us now that I think about it. Totally. I'm very mentally
I desperately be back in the therapy is actually not even funny mental illness can literally drive you crazy
So I want to pivot off of that because yeah, they why is that a badge of honor though?
Have you noticed that like it's currency to them? Oh my God, no, I'm way more mentally.
I need to see a professional for real.
Yeah, no, it's my whole generation.
Like they're obsessed with the idea that need to go to therapy
all the time and you need to, like,
and you shouldn't accommodate others by like trying to control
your mental illness.
Everyone has to accommodate your thing.
And so it's just a catch all excuse for why you're an asshole.
Just be a dick everywhere. Hey, if you want to stop being depressed, do what I do. Get rid of the mirror in your thing. And so it's just a catch all excuse for why you're an asshole. Just be a dick everywhere.
Hey, if you want to stop being depressed,
do what I do.
Get rid of the mirror in your bathroom.
That's a quick fix.
Way back for you.
You think someone like this that needs a lot of help,
that they would go to an expert for these kinds of things?
My clip eight, this is how Catherine
is going to deal with her mental illness.
I know, I think I'm going to wean myself off my ant's at a press and because my psychic told me it wasn't really doing it.
I was like, I heard that driving and I was like, what the fuck?
Wait, what?
My psychic told me that my aunt at a press and is not doing enough.
Like, one, you have a psychic?
Oh, Rick, RIP heart alert.
RIP heart alert class.
I would, I was a stand.
And then she proceeded the two episodes I listened to.
She proceeded to talk about her psychic.
Someone, she mentioned it several times.
I only pulled that one, but it would be like little things.
Like, oh yeah, I'm not gonna get,
I don't think we can get married this year
to my boyfriend because my psychic said,
like, I need to do this in this, this, this year. We get to year the monkey. Of course you can can get married this year to my boyfriend because my psychic said like I need to do this in this this this year
You get to hear the monkey of course you can't get back here
What are you thinking
Tab she's not joking though right because that would be a funny joke if you say I'm gonna
We might sell off an empty process cuz my psychic tell me to
You could put that at your act for Christ sake, but she's being serious with us. I think she's being serious.
I think this podcast is the real Pat and Catherine
and not the like persona, Pat and Catherine,
even though it's, you know, not their theater kids,
it's not, they're not actually ever a real person.
All right, so here's a fun example of Catherine
trying to wind up for something and having
nothing.
And the silence here is the only funny part of the show, in my opinion.
I agree.
So all my crushes at once, like single file, walk out and exit to me.
Even on the other hand.
Oh, I should explain the context of this real quick.
So Pat's talking about he went to some event or some function and all of his crushes were there. He's always talking about his crushes. So all these different guys
are there and they're all leaving at the same time.
Like Luis, so all my crushes at once, like single file, walk out and exit to leave.
Even though they didn't know each other, they all like at the same time were like single
file.
Kind of like a musical interpretation'm like. I want to help you out, but I was thinking I'm not sure what she.
What I'm saying, okay, what I'm saying just to quickly explain is like,
if you weren't a musical, there's a good number about your crushes.
They would all like walk out in the line and be like,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Is that time musical musical?
It's a good time for us to play.
Now that's where it's going to be.
That's that's I don't know.
Well,
wow.
She could have just said any musical
and just at least completed the thoughts.
That's just like that musical audition of
words.
AIDS.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
So you need to produce her presence while she needs.
I was surprised that they didn't like have
a big production staff.
It seems like they're just, they have their laptops up,
they're talking to one another over the phone.
Yeah, it's a Zoom call.
It's a Zoom call, yeah.
And that's it.
I would have thought that it would, you know,
there'd be like, like two bears won K,
there'd be someone in the background just like,
BAH!
That's not what they need.
There's so funny.
There's so many.
Yeah, they do what they need actually.
I've been trying to budget for that in 2023 myself.
How much of a sale would you need to just hang out
in my basement, laugh hysterically twice a week?
Oh.
Hey, Carol, why is this mic near me?
Shut up.
I just, I need it right there.
I gotta capture the evidence.
No, it's not on.
It's not on.
Now you do a hidden mic.
You get a sofa over there in your basement.
You have a hidden mic above it.
And then you just like,
Oh, you've done this before, I see, okay.
All right, that's good.
My consultant over here.
Now, I listened to it episode where they actually had a guest
on the show.
They don't tell me to do that.
Because a lot of the descriptions that I was reading
was like, we get together and we interview comedians.
And then I was like scrolling through
and it's been
months since there was anyone on the show. Well, they're not good at conversing with people. So
there's really no reason for them to have another person on there that they can't talk to.
It just gets very confusing and annoying. And what's that bad, Lee? This interview even starts off.
I know I look like shit, but I wanted to be real and raw with everyone today.
So that's just going to talk about. I love it. Where are you? Tell us everything.
Oh, sorry. Pat was about to say something. That's kind of how this work.
I was going to say I look normal and normal and baseline for me, normal and baseline for me.
You have to feel really good today, Pat. All right. So she starts off the interview,
dripping with insecurity and awkwardness.
The woman comes on the Zoom, she's like,
I know I look like shit today, I know, I know,
but hey, I'm trying something over here.
And then that question, where are you tell us everything?
Now my buddy Harry Young, I just did a show.
I'll be on the topic time, I think this week,
sometime coming out.
But that is like a
Harrison Yogg asked question. Where are you right now? Tell us everything.
All right. Make yourself interesting to our listeners and go.
Right. And this woman who they're talking to at Sukko who is also a stand-up.
Doesn't know what babies are. She's not familiar with human babies. I actually like
when a baby's on a plane though. I'm actually not part of the community of people who
get like annoyed when a baby's on a plane. I just didn't, I didn't, I don't know babies
or their behaviors or their being that much just because I, you know, if you don't have
baby, if you don't have kids, you don't, just don't know They sleep shit and cry what's not to know about babies? She sounded like Tommy there for a second
Babies on a plane to be a funny movie by the way get these motherfucking babies off this motherfucking plane
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. It's like Tommy's girlfriend. Just like what is baby? What is babies? They're small?
They're small people you are baby now. You're not
Interesting. Holy shit. All right. What else did you pick up on from the show tab?
Catherine is a disgusting disgusting nasty human being. Yeah, so latent the newest episode they started talking about their
New Year's resolutions and who the fuck cares.
But they're like going through their New Year's resolutions and it's all the same kind of
things.
Like, I want to be more healthy, I want to be more vulnerable.
Drink more.
Cheat up my spouse more.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But then this, she gets to her last New Year's resolution, my clip 16.
And then my other resolutions.
I want to get a vacuum cleaner and like learn how to use it.
Oh yeah, we talked about it.
I told you Dyson.
Yeah, I'm getting it.
I have spent so much money this past week, though, just online shopping.
But I'm going to Dyson.
And I'm also going to get a blender.
I'm not afraid of it. And I'm also gonna get a blender. I'm not afraid of it.
And I'm just gonna be a better person this year.
I'm gonna be like really zen.
I'm gonna find peace with then.
I'm gonna lower my cortisol levels
and I'm gonna be like having inner peace
and no one's gonna be able to handle it.
And that's how it's gonna be for me.
I doubt it.
So her version of inner peace is getting a blender,
which is apparently afraid of the blender.
And a vacuum and learn how to use it.
31 years old, no idea how to use a vacuum cleaner.
I gotta tell you, I ordered Dyson and Albo Prague.
It took me a few months.
You're really bad at it.
You don't just sit there and bark at it.
Yeah.
That's the word you're talking about.
You know, you learn the basics first.
Right.
Right.
I was, I was, I was a standard like, people joke that millennials are all retards that don't know how to do anything. You learned the basics first. Right. That's the best. Right. Right.
I was, I was, I was a standard like people joke that millennials are all retards that don't
know how to do anything.
And then like people like this go on the internet and go, yeah, don't have a vacuum.
No fucking idea how to use it.
Got to figure it out.
I got to read the manual.
Like, you're going to get a blender.
It'll probably kill me.
It'll probably be by death, but I'm going to try to get a blender and see what happens.
So then she's also in the vein of her being disgusting
and not being afraid of like inanimate objects.
My clip, 17, she has a nightly routine
that drives her boyfriend crazy,
which I'm also astounded this woman has a boyfriend.
Her head game must be out of this fucking world
to deal with that personality, but a clip, 16.
For I and I keep fighting because this is a habit
I'm really trying to break and it is fucking disgusting
and I can't even admit it on air.
But I get scared of flushing the toilet at night
because the sound scares me.
Really?
Like, scared you like, you think it's a monster?
Yeah, I think it's like a girl.
I don't have a drop for something that retarded.
I know, I'm, again, there's just no personality.
So she's making shit up.
Yeah, I can see him like she's interested.
Like, yeah, okay, God, sure.
I don't flush the toilet at night
because the sound scares me.
It doesn't scare her during the day.
No, okay.
Because the sound can't get you through light Chris, duh.
I know.
I'm the retard.
COVID can't get you in a restaurant while you're sitting down.
Yeah.
The toilet can't get you in the daytime.
What's confusing about this?
Follow me.
And she goes on to talk about how her boyfriend complains to her about it and she's
like, I'm sorry, I'm going to work through dealing with this.
And I'm just like, if these are the challenges you face
as a human being, you live an absolutely blessed life
and you just stop complaining.
Are you dropping a juice in the middle of the night?
There are times I use a bathroom,
I don't flush the toilet at night,
I get it's noisy, people are sleeping.
That's fine, but if you're dropping a juice,
you gotta flush that shit down, that's not cool.
I don't wake up to that in the morning.
So you're not afraid of the sound, you're afraid of Jen.
Correct.
Okay, that's what I make sure.
Or whoever from the Jeepal department I live with.
Who knows, a dog.
I live alone and I will sometimes not flush the toilet
at night because I don't want to get all the way back in bed
and then have the flapper not land and have it cycling all night.
And then I have to get back out of bed. So just like, uh,
bypass that problem. Smart. Look at this guy. He's thinking, fucking 40
chance every day. He's like, jiggle, that little, not my watch. Obviously that
has happened before. Yeah. I guess I see that again. I'm all hung over after
drinking 38 beers doing WTP and, know, you know, fucking toilets running.
Yeah, you just recover.
That's why you're taking this idea back on the show.
All right.
So Katherine gets upset.
Katherine's very insecure.
I don't care if a guy is straight or gay.
If he says I'm ugly, it hurts my feelings.
Welcome to my world, huh?
I know all about it.
And then the other guy, Pat, is also very insecure. Welcome to my world, honey. I know all about it.
And then the other guy, Pat, is also very insecure.
But are you mad at me?
I feel like you're mad at me, I don't know.
No, I'm not mad at you at all.
He sounds like an over-the-top Nick Crowe character.
When Nick Crowe's being way too ridiculous.
If you wrote a TV show and you had someone act this gay,
the network would be like,
you got to tone him way down, no one acts like this.
Sir, you've made a cartoon of a gay person, it's highly offensive.
What are you talking about?
I don't know what you made by that.
I have my clip 21, cat describes yourself to a T.
I'm the most boring, simple-minded,
uninteresting woman alive.
Okay.
Very good.
Nailed it.
That's how you can be a New Year's resolution
to stop being so boring.
And annoying.
It's possible.
I think their New Year's resolution
to be stopped doing the show.
That would be an interesting episode.
They started the show in 2018.
And there's still a lot of nothing to talk about.
Why didn't hear a lot of talk about
boys' sacks fucking dating or love,
which I was told would be the subjects
most of the time you do.
Maybe, yeah, maybe this year next,
they're not gonna do that,
but they'll get back to it eventually.
That was probably a writteninues resolution going into 2022
that we didn't know about,
because we didn't listen to enough of the back catalog
to understand that these people are vapid and uninteresting.
I'm just one man, Deb.
There's so much I can do.
That's what you always complain about this show,
like you base your whole opinion off a one episode,
it's ridiculous.
10 minutes to this show, you got it.
Yeah, for sure.
And obviously you and I listen to a number of different episodes
to try to get a sense of what was going on here.
But when we first started this show with Kevin,
I said, this is the episode we listened to,
we're gonna critique it now.
And the reason for that is, I tell you,
you're just fucking around.
But the reason for that is because, and I always say,
assume the people are listening to this show
for the first time ever,
and why would they wanna listen to another episode?
That's how you should be gearing your podcast.
If you do a podcast where, well, of course,
you can kick it into my episode of 59,
you gotta go back to one and then get yourself there.
I said, well, no, I'm not investing that much time
and effort into finding out whether I like these people
or not.
Seems like a better idea.
These people are just some of the worst types of,
you know, fame, horror,
uninteresting people.
And apparently this podcast is fairly successful.
It's on like a podcast network.
And I just can't, I can't find them.
Who would want to watch this, listen to this show?
Like I was driving home from work and the show was playing
and I thought, what happens if I get into an accident
and like I'm unconscious and the first responders come up
and they open the door and they hear that
and they're gonna be like, we're not saving this fuck.
This shallow piece of shit.
The first responders like, right, do you see PR?
He's like, oh, no.
I'm so, I'm so disinterested in anything.
Now, here's an example of very short one.
We're there, they're self-obsessed assholes,
as I think we've pointed out.
And they're trying to do an impression
of a human conversation.
I think they've heard other people have conversations
so they're trying to do that.
So I'm actually nervous about my LA show for some reason.
Me too, that's beautiful.
You're gonna be.
I'm nervous about my LA show for some reason.
Me too, you're beautiful.
You're just pretending to be paying attention
to what he's saying.
You could say, I'm sorry, what did you say?
What was that?
I missed it.
They don't listen to one another talk.
No.
They're both talking at one another.
They could do this show by themselves
and just take the two audio tracks and lay them over top
of each other.
You have the exact same show.
That's what I was picking up on too.
At some point, they're talking about this restaurant
that they really like chopped.
And all it is is just like a salad place.
It's nothing special or impressive but apparently this is all they
want to eat now. Why isn't chopped a bigger like phenomena? I don't understand.
Is chopped just in New York? That's crazy news. It's just in New York. They don't
deliver. It's like if I could deliver. They don't deliver. We know I want it so bad.
Oh, I know what? Maybe that's true. I've never lived in like
truly Midtown East so I can't say maybe they deliver. I'm like, you know what? Maybe that's true. I've never lived in like, truly midtown East. So I can't say maybe they deliver,
it's like they're midtown East.
I'm sure they're like on postmates in midtown East.
Which I like randomly,
I'm like,
should I randomly just like live there
and like live in a glass tower?
Yeah.
I can't be gonna sexy.
Hey, tab,
that restaurant that we like,
should I like buy an apartment near there?
Like a really expensive apartment?
Like, wouldn't that be like,
fucking weird, right?
Just like, just like be able to get that delivered
to my like cool apartment that I had there,
fuck off, can't, fuck the fuck off.
Again, these are people with no challenges, like.
Correct.
I want to live near a restaurant that I like.
Not things like, I wanna find a place
that I can afford that's in a reasonable commute
to the place that I work.
Like, that's what regular people talk about.
No, these people talk about being on set.
And oh my gosh, you got too many laughs last night.
Now I'm self conscious.
And I have shoots to do all week at the shows.
Yeah, she was complaining that she's been out on the road
like doing touring shows and visiting different countries.
And she went on this like 10-day Colorado vacation
with her family.
She's just like, oh, this is all just so awful.
Like, you are living people's dreams.
People literally sit at their shitty nine to five office job
and fantasize about living your life.
And I realize like everyone has challenges and whatnot,
but like you could be a little bit less fucking conty about it.
Yeah, maybe grateful is the word that I would use.
Go ahead and be grateful for what you have going out
of your life because it's not gonna last much longer
based on what I've seen.
She'll probably collapse on stage in the next two years.
Jesus.
Why, what do you mean?
Well, she's fat.
I'm guessing she's got a lot of experimental medical treatments.
Jesus Christ. We're not wishing that to happen, Kat. If you're listening. She's got a lot of experimental medical treatments. She's a scurrying.
We're not wishing that to happen, Kat.
If you're listening to the ad-
I'm not wishing.
I'm just predicting.
I'm just predicting.
Yes.
All right.
I'm all out of Clips tab.
What do you got still?
I'll play this one final clip, Clip 20.
Okay.
God, I'm learning out of breath from being so tired of this.
I won't make it out.
Whatever, whatever, whatever.
Oh. She made some statement and he asked her to clarify I'm literally out of breath from being so tired. I won't make that work. Whatever, whatever, whatever.
She made some statement and he asked her to clarify and she's just like, I'm so bored.
I'm so bored of being called for being an idiot.
I thought it was a good way to sign off on this.
All right, very good.
Well, with that, it brings us to our.
Bridge of the week.
Bridge of the week.
This one came in from our friend Cardiff Electric,
our student to be ex-friend,
Cardiff Electric because he picked up on something
that was going on on W-A-T-S.
Who are these socials, the show I do with Blind My Geary?
And he says, you get a new microphone or something,
Carl, what's going on over there?
You might have COPD.
He put together this super cut for us
and you might want to fast forward through this one. Oké, zoek maar! I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. So I do use a different preamp when I do the shows with Mike, but thank you for that feedback.
Much appreciated.
I'll try to get a little less saliva with my mouth next time.
Yikes.
Are you using the same microphone you're using now?
Yes, this is a WTTS.
Yes, yeah.
You got to switch to the big like, the big one.
Yeah, maybe that would help.
Maybe that would help.
It would help to have the standard muff, yeah.
Yeah, I'm just trying to keep my mouth
from being directly on top of it today.
It comes in the same box, so.
Oh, I know, I have it.
I got it.
Drink.
I got you.
Hey, tab, I got a special treat for you because you, sir, are one of the best
Centering John impersonators.
This side, the Mississippi.
Wait, which side of the Mississippi are you on?
I'm on the other side of Mississippi.
Oh, my difference is close though. It's close. You're the best. That side of the Mississippi are you on? I'm on the other side of this is close though it's close
You're the best that side of the Mississippi so I think it's time for a little S.J.
Gakiyah The beer on the balcony from October with Doug Goodstein that we had missed and we had gone back to, we still haven't finished that yet.
We're going to do that today, because Jagat's very drunk by the end of this episode, so
it's pretty fun.
But before that, I do have a new song parody coming in from Mr. Magenta.
I guess we made up after the voicemail that I played from him. He sent in a song. I fought the laws and the laws won
I fought the trolls and the trolls won
I need some money cause I have none
I fought the laws and the laws won
I miss my wife and my daughter son
I left early and it feels so bad
My show this days are done Still drinking cause and it's so sad I'm a bit scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I'm scared, but I refunds, I bought the laws in the mouse world
Even my mind's think I'm scum, I left my roaches and it feels so bad
My condo days are done, off to rehab and it's so sad I thought the laws and the laws weren't the laws and the...
Very well done, Mr. Magenta.
Great to have you back in the mix here.
All right, so when we last left our hero, Stuttering John Melendez, he was talking to his good
buddy Doug Goodstein, from Howard
TV, he was a cameraman, and he was one of the guys who would go out with John on some
of his misadventures talking to various celebrities with crazy questions. And I believe one of
the last cause we played was John saying, don't you think that Triumph, the insult comic
dog ripped me off and Zach Elf and Zach is. and Ali G's amazing, this, this, this,
this John guy, Doug didn't go along with that.
So then they start talking about Gilbert's final appearance
on Howard Stern's show, Doug thinks that he was there for it.
And he tells the story about Gilbert cutting open cupcakes
and spinning in them and then putting them back together.
And I guess there's a theory that that's why they don't have
Gilbert on the show anymore. He ruined 10 cupcakes in a big deal. But that, I don't know if it's
actually the fact that that was his last time on the show, but I was like, Holy cow, was
that, was that put him over the over the edge that he's no longer welcome because he's
spinning the cupcake that probably just saved us from eating that fat.
So I don't know.
Wow, see, I was so happy.
I don't know if that's true or not.
I don't know if that indeed was his last time,
but I was like holy crap, that's outrageous.
I always assumed it was because,
you know, he couldn't be controlled, you know,
and I ate all of you.
Oh yeah, no, no, absolutely no.
He was at the show 30 times.
It's nothing to do with any of that.
I love these retards think that he wasn't invited back on the show because of some antics
with a cupcake in the break room.
No, he was to make room for Lady Gaga, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mandy Moore, Andy Cohen, Kathy
Griffin, Rosie O'Donnell, Miley Cyrus, Wendy Williams, Rachel Maddell, Lito Dunham, Sarah
Jetska Parker.
All these assholes that started having on his show instead of funny comedians.
How do you guys not know that?
You were on that show.
You saw it transform.
Well, John wasn't on the show at that time, so he probably didn't see it.
And he couldn't afford a serious subscription, so he probably didn't see that transition
happen.
No, he's clueless.
He talks like he has all of these people who still work there who tell him all this
information.
He knows nothing.
He has no of these people who still work there who tell them all this information. He knows nothing. He has no information whatsoever.
So then the dog does an impression of Gilbert off air.
And if anybody knows Gilbert Godfrey,
he's actually very mild mannered, even keeled,
very different than his persona
when you see him doing stand up
or having an appearance somewhere.
So dog does an impression of him
and stuttering John Melendus being the pro that he is,
tags it with the same impression,
using the same words that Doug just used.
You know, no cameras around.
Yeah, how are you?
It's like, it's like, quiet polite.
So yes, like, yeah, it's all crap.
Yeah, he was like, oh, yeah.
You're like, okay, yes, crap. He was like, oh, okay, okay.
You had a backup because he was coming towards us.
Something Jennifer 3D would be a funny podcast for him.
Why is it laughing maniacally at that?
Yeah, I mean, it's just kind of a well-known thing
that Gilbert doesn't go around talking like Gilbert 24-7.
I don't know.
Carl, if I were you, I wouldn't start throwing stones
about people repeating impressions back to people
that just made this shit.
You go back too far on the show.
Oh, yeah.
Damn it.
We're in the air of my ways, tab.
That is true.
You're much better about it now.
So I can't imagine watching John in 3D.
Is that like shit finger comes right at you?
That's true.
Oh shit.
That's being more terrifying than they think.
Holy shit, the people who make these amazing videos of John,
they should do a movie theater with John up on the screen
with his finger and the whole audience with 30 glasses.
What? What? That'd be fucking hilarious.
All right, maybe we'll save it for a dabble cod.
We'll pull that one out.
So here's a fun little part where John's getting drunk and he forgets what he's going to
ask Doug.
So he asked to act like it's because he just has so many questions.
He's not sure which question to ask next.
Yeah.
Howard Oughty, there is nothing like Howard on the right. so many questions, he's not sure which question to ask next. Yeah, when it came back.
Howard Oughty, there was nothing like Howard on the air.
Right, right.
But, um, oh, fuck, I, oh, I want to ask you something.
Um, I hate when that happens when you have,
I have so many questions for you, but keep drinking.
Yeah, I know.
I'll come back to be all on.
No, but, uh, no, there was something else. Something about Gilbert. Yeah, he was awesome.
That's what I was. That's what you were going to say. He was awesome. Man, remember, remember
when Gilbert was on the show, man, that was awesome. That's awesome. That's what I was going
to ask you. That was awesome. Yeah, good question get a fucking sheet of paper John and
We're down some questions and then when you go go blanking be like
You know
Does is your refrigerator money? Oh, so I want to point out that John wanted to go on Gilbert show his podcast
And they wouldn't have mine and he was mother fucking Gilbert so hard
He had so many shitty things to say about Gilbert Godfrey that was just like, oh yeah, he's the boss.
What a match.
What a great guy.
He was calling him out on his show multiple episodes and this is the thing about John
is that he talks all this shit and then he pretends that either it didn't happen or
he explains this.
Now they get into Arty Lang and let's not forget that John set a tweet to Arty Lang after he had attempted
suicide that said, why don't you stab yourself again and this time be successful or it was
something to that degree, which is fucking brutal, just say to a heroin addict, go kill
yourself, no humor, no jokes, but that wasn't John's fault.
Yeah, I know, like I had Tammy Pescatali, he was a great comic and she witnessed
the classic arti, John, you know, fucking stupid fucking fight on my podcast.
But you know, it was when Arti was doing heroin and Arti wasn't already when he was doing
heroin.
Like, he wasn't the same guy, I'm sorry.
And like, all these idiots like to post like me,
only my tweet to him, but he was tweeting horrible shit to me,
but they always leave that part.
Yeah.
So he treated me first.
You know, it was self-defense tweets.
Yeah.
When you tell someone to kill themselves,
there's no justification of that.
There's like, yeah, but he wrote this to be first.
That's a dick move, dude.
And I am very sensitive.
Nothing will ever be John's fault.
There's always like some intervening in circus dance.
It's like, yeah.
Yeah, you know, but in the third grade, I was told that I have ass burgers.
And that's why I can't sit on a bus bench.
He'll justify anything.
I love, there was something that came out
where Artie was talking about being on heroin
and how it changed him and John was immediately like,
yep, see, I told you, this is not my fault.
He was on heroin.
And this goes on, I was just explaining how much he loves
Artie, of course.
I don't want anything.
Look, I love Arnie.
I love is just a, I love is mother.
I don't want anything ever to happen to her.
But you know, when people fight, you know,
and you know, and say things, I mean,
he's saying bad shit to me.
So then I say bad shit back.
You know, you know, you know, tell a guy. You know, you know, tell it go.
And yeah, you know, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, when the, he was on anti-acumia show
with him and already got into it and already like,
was zinging him with some kind of mean,
but in good spirit jokes.
And he's just like, oh, you're father died.
And like, he just immediately goes to the throat
because he has no fucking sense of humor.
He absolutely meant when he told Artie to kill himself, that he wanted Arty to kill himself.
Well, he tries to say like, we were just having a disagreement.
I mean, these things happened.
Tim, I'm always happy you told Vito just wanted to kill himself.
Uh, quite a few.
Okay, that's what I thought.
So maybe that is true.
Maybe that is just something guys do.
Fair enough.
No, okay, sure.
Oh, yes, man, that.
So then John asks Doug Goodsie, either of them are with the show anymore.
If he still talks to anyone on the Howard Stern show and Doug goes, oh yeah, yeah, I still
talk to people.
You know, one of the people he says is Sal is one of the guys he still talks to and John
surprised by this.
Uh, Gengie, uh, Faelin, yeah, Richie Wilson. Yeah. I'm surprised you're allowed to talk to Sal.
Because I heard Gary had a needy that nobody is allowed to talk to.
I don't know. I heard that same thing.
You heard that from John.
If it gets to the point where they tell people who they can and can't talk to,
and people stay with that kind of mandate or mantra.
Sorry.
Then your brain's being controlled and it's time to go.
I don't think that's true though.
Yeah, I think a bunch of people told John that because they didn't want to talk to him
ever again.
Oh yeah, sorry, John, we're not allowed to talk to you.
Correct.
You're going to have to delete my number or I'm going to have to delete your number and
block it.
Otherwise, I'll get fired.
Right.
So this is John justifying his dumb head that that's why no one's returning my phone
calls or text messages anymore because Howard told them they're not allowed to because
I've talked to Shoe about this.
She was like, no I still talked to all those guys.
They're not being told who they can and can't talk to and this comes out right here as
John explains that there's a specific guy that he thought he was friends with, but you know, it must be that dumb-haward getting in the way of their
relationship.
Because I love Ronnie the death, but it's odd because he would DM me back, I don't want
to get him any trouble, but he would DM me back, and suddenly he went quiet.
So I don't know if you know somehow.
Yeah, I don't know. I've never had that confirmed, but you know, I talked to the sale. I don't
sell. I talked to sale once and I talked to a Sabian all the time as well all the time.
So Ronnie doesn't like you, John, is what I'm getting from this because running doesn't vagus, you semi-retired.
There's no way that Howard's going,
I heard you texted back to Suthering John Melondas.
You're on probation, sir.
When's the last time you think that Howard thought about John?
It's been a while.
Like years.
Maybe like sometime in 2021
when all the lawsuits happened to be serious.
And like, I'm sure Howard wasn't even involved in that. sometime in 2021 when all the lawsuits happened to be serious. Sure.
And like, I'm sure Howard wasn't even involved in that.
Like, it was all serious as lawyers.
And someone in the office was like, yeah,
we got that suit dismissed with John.
And he was like, oh, yes, Stuttering John.
Anyway, back to being afraid of literally everything.
The only thing I can think of, yeah, I know Howard
serves obviously as other fucking issues going on.
The only thing I can think of, yeah, I know Howard Stern's obviously has other fucking issues going on. The only thing I can think of is Howard going, oh my god, I predicted that.
Exactly right.
I said that he'd go on the tonight show and after that he'd have nothing.
And I nailed it.
Wow, I'm pretty good.
I invented that Robin.
I invented the Southern Beach on Be a Failure.
I invented John Be a Failure.
I kind of did.
Now this is my, you say, version of John what you're about to see here because John
likes to take credit for other people's happiness in their life, for their relationships, and
he gets real smug about it too.
So they're talking about Doug's wife Marlow here.
Marlow.
Hey Doug, why don't you tell everybody where you had your first date with Molo?
Yes, and we just celebrated that 26 year anniversary and I didn't forget it.
Three of cups at Stuttering John's.
21st birthday was that 1996.
So he brought his now wife to John's birthday party and John like once credit for that.
I think why I knew her before that's why I invited her to the party.
Yeah, it's like he's a matchmaker or something just happened to be the first thing they went out together.
Was he going to John's things?
It's like I don't know.
He's so small about that.
He's like, oh yeah, I'm pretty fucking amazing.
I guess. So then he has to bring up that apparently Scott DePace actually met his future wife at
this same party.
So John is just the matchmaker to the stars apparently.
That was it.
First day with me and Marlon.
You know what's so funny?
The you and the pace have a connection with me with your wives.
Because they met at your party, Pam and Spade.
The pace met at my party, he met his girl at my party, too.
Yeah, I didn't mean to interrupt your party.
I was, that was my first date with her.
No, I know.
But the pace actually met his wife at my party.
I can't believe I'm forgetting a name because I love her.
Hands.
She's the boss.
Look at him.
She's very important to me.
Scott and what's the name?
I'll never forget her.
Like who?
And yet you have like failed every relationship you have in your life.
Your kids hate you.
Your wife divorced you.
You've lost all of your job prospects.
Like boy, what a matchmaker.
Always the bridesmaid and never the bride.
Stuttering John Mendes.
What wouldn't this guy take credit for?
Because we played and I got a post of video on this because it's still I still can't
believe that he said he's singlehandedly got already laying the job
on the Howard Stern show in his book,
yeah, easy for you to say.
And producer Chris and I did a recent Patreon episode
where we played that section on it.
It's like, holy shit, you think already had nothing
to do with him getting the job?
I don't think John played any role in it.
But the fact that he single-handedly got already,
like he takes credit for everything.
Right, and it also makes it sound like he got out of the way
to make room for that.
Yeah, she wanted me, but I was like,
yeah, we had to do some fun over here.
He's cool too.
If you like me, you're gonna love Scott DePace.
Oh my God, what an asshole.
And John lords this information over Scott DePace.
Like he acts like Scott owes him something for that. Damn yeah, he met her at my party and it kills him because then because any time we'd
argue on Twitter, I go, don't forget it.
If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be with your wife.
Yeah.
I go, yeah, I mean, I have some responsibility for your kids.
I demand a Prima uh, primer cocktail.
You owe me.
And I was like,
commission, whatever you saved in divorce, lawyer fees, I would like some of that.
I, your wife, whatever her name is, needs to picture my face when having sex with you.
He's once per year in 3D.
That's in the deal.
It's on me in video.
Yeah, right.
I'm going to need three webgams placed in your bedroom.
Because you wouldn't even matter if it weren't for me.
And be sure to put the scroll at the bottom.
This is copyrighted.
So he says, he goes, when I get into Twitter wars,
we've got to pace.
I'm like, hey, just so you know, if it weren't for me,
you wouldn't have your wife, you wouldn't have your kids. cuz of me and then he goes out to say oh my god blocked me
Yeah
You're super fucking annoying
That's why I imagine that go figure
All right, so now we're gonna be talking about a guy that neither of them kind of remember and
I guess when John said he has so many questions,
this must be what he was talking about.
Have you talked to fucking Gump?
No.
Why, something happened?
No, I went to one house.
Oh, no.
No, no.
I haven't talked to him in 10 plus years.
Everybody here, Gump was Eric C. France,
who was a cameraman. He was an engineer.
He was the engineer. Yeah. And he was another great guy. If he worked with a guy, he didn't
know what he did. The dude was a cameraman and an engineer. He would think he would know that,
no, no, the guy behind the camera, that's the cameraman. The guy who's actually processing all of it,
that's the engineer.
Oh, go on.
We were such good friends.
I got him his job there.
Whatever his name was, whatever the job was.
Whatever the job was.
That's it.
I'm basically, I'm like a, I'm an Italian agent.
I love the way the job said that too.
He's like, what about gump?
It's got, or dogs like, I don't know.
What do you mean?
What about, I'm like, I don't know.
What about it?
Remember that was the guy we worked with?
Yeah, yeah, I remember.
Okay, cool.
Good story.
Do you ever talk to that guy?
Sure no.
All right, moving on.
Moving on.
So now we're gonna, we're gonna
into a very drunk John.
And he wants to tell Doug another thing
I'll tell you nothing
Well, maybe you guys it here that we play that again, I'll tell you nothing
All right, I think he needs a thinking beer.
So, uh, John can't even talk anymore at this point.
So now he's talking about substitute teaching and all the kids being excited that he's a celebrity.
Listen, trying to make sense of this one, because Doug sure can't.
Cause you know why some should teach on a side every now,
you know.
And the kids, cause they Google me,
Doug, as soon as I'm in there, and they go,
you're famous, I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But they said,
do you,
have you ever, do you, uh,
we have a, have you ever met the rock? And I ain't gonna.
And then hold on.
Listen to that again.
So when you finally figure out what he's gonna say,
try to tell me what he's saying right here.
Okay, we have a, have you ever met the rock?
Have you ever been to rock?
Is that what he said?
I thought you was saying, have you ever met the rock?
Like, like, between the rock Johnson.
Okay, good job, Tab.
You've talked to drug people before, well done.
I have, yeah.
And I ain't gonna know.
I've been a drug people.
Fucking richy.
What?
What's rock?
The rock.
The rock.
Dwayne Johnson.
Oh, have you ever interviewed?
It looks like they've ever been to. Oh, okay I could not make out. Have you ever met the rock?
Have you ever met the rock?
Have you ever met the rock?
It's been to.
Where's the rock?
Oh, he's starting to fall into slow motion.
I had a New Year's Eve party and I was like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, Where's the rock? Holy shit. His brain is like starting to fall into slow motion.
Like I had a New Year's Eve party and one of the guys, like one of the members of the
audience was very, very drunk and they were doing moaning and you know how you go, yeah
and then the audience goes, yeah.
He was like a yeah and a half behind.
So every like third or fourth, yeah he'd be on, but he was like two or three years ago
by that point.
He really zoomed back to that side, didn was hilarious watching that guy and I can like you can see it in John's face.
Yeah, like the stuff is just not happening anymore. I also love how he says, I'm substitute teaching on the side.
On the side of what? You don't have a job. On side of what? This show business career that you're in?
I podcast.
I podcast on the side of my regular full time job
that I enjoy.
You're, that's what you do.
That's your job, John.
You're a substitute teacher.
That's all you have.
Oh, man.
And remember, this is 2.30 in the afternoon, maybe 2.45.
I'll give him 2.45.
Okay. And he's this truck on trull45. I'll give him 2.45.
And he's this truck on trullies.
He's trucking down trullies and going,
oh, the students out, they go with me.
Cause, oh, you famous one.
Oh yeah.
I'm like, you're famous, I'm like,
oh yeah.
You got me.
I like that humble John moment there.
Let's go back to that.
That's my good body.
I imagine, I imagine John as a subsidy teacher, right? You know, like, they walk in, they're like, I am Mr. Let's go back to that. I imagine I imagine John is a subsidy teacher right
You know like they walk in they're like I am mr. Melinda's right. Yeah, he goes he goes I am stuttering John Melinda's of the Howard
Stern show and an answer for the night show touring comedian and host of the John the stuttering John podcast
And this lesson is copyrighted
Yeah, this lesson is copyright is. This lesson is copyrighted.
If you want to Google me, just type in
Stuttering John minus who are these dot copy?
You put Stuttering John in the Google and boom,
I hate famous press.
Just don't ever look for dabbling or B-dabla or
Ellery Blay or Card dabble or elbow replay or
Cardiff electric or my kids
Okay, I would love him to walk in there. They'll the Google and like like oh you're on who are these podcast?
Watch a back pedal out of that
All right, so now John gets into his the principal's, the principal's office right now. You got it. Yeah, you're gone. You're blocked.
All right. So now John gets into his wasn't the time that you and I were on Howard's turn the best time for Howard's turn.
Yeah. I mean, don't you look back, Doug, and go, you know, that was the golden age of that
show, you know, it was good. I mean, would they listen when I got there, obviously, when you were there, you were there. It was good. I mean, when I got there, obviously when you were there,
you were there, it was probably in one market.
When I got there, it was just three markets,
New York, Philly and Washington.
I got there right before Washington.
Okay, so it was in New York and Philly.
Yeah.
So, yeah, we were there when a show was exploding
in popularity and as soon as we hit a market,
it was number one.
So yeah, the energy was nuts by the time I would say three, four years in it was like
40 plus markets.
It was like we were superstars overnight.
It was amazing.
It was a great vibe.
I don't want to get copyrighted.
I just put the glory days crap back up there.
Remember when everything was going amazing and had nothing to do with either of us?
That's the other thing too.
It's not like this guy was the third-micre,
even fourth-mic at the show.
He was the color screener.
You know, guy held a camera out there like,
the show fucking blew up, a weird out there.
It would be like George Costanza taking credit
for the Yankees winning a world series.
Like he's assistant to the traveling secretary.
That's pretty good analogy.
So now, John's getting very, very drunk.
Doug is noticing this and pointing it out to him.
Well, it's great that you still work.
And you know, that's awesome.
And you still belong on, right?
Still on.
You're getting slurryer and slurryer mister you haven't started once which I'm
really impressed now that I said it you probably know I'm slurring John now you kidding me yeah slurring
John but all right thuggy well thanks for helping me out because I was like holy shit I have a beer in
the balcony today so I know when you scrape the bottom of the bow you call me
Don't picked up on a lot and a short time there for sure
Well, when you don't drink
14 beers an hour. It's pretty easy to pick up the johns and asshole
Listen, but it is true that john that's something used to have on Howard Stern's show I'm more and more convinced that that was all put on
He was doing that on purpose
because that's what got him the notoriety,
that's why everything happened for him.
Cause now he's having this conversation,
he sounds like a moron, but he doesn't stutter.
That's stuttering, he's learning his speech quite a bit.
And I think that even Doug goes,
now that I've told you he haven't started yet,
now I'm sure you will.
Yeah, right.
Oh, I still stutter.
Just like when he was on that show in Iowa
and the guy pointed out in the last like minute, he's, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,, it seemed like they might do this show,
but John's can't on this show.
They start talking about Hank the angry drunken dwarf,
which was John's and Doug's favorite wack packer.
So Doug goes on to explain that he died in 2001,
Hank did, and there was a funeral up in Massachusetts,
and they took this big bus,
I think 15 people were on this boss to go to the funeral.
And John wants to know about that.
And what was it?
It was in, in Falls River, Massachusetts.
Oh, wow.
Was there people there?
Yeah.
No, he was a great guy.
So why weren't you there, John?
You loved the guy.
You were still working on the show at the time.
Doug's explaining that he went,
Hype at Jeric was on the bus,
all these different people from the show,
and John's like,
well, there's anyone even at that funeral?
I can't, everyone but you.
The fuck, your problem.
Thought that was your favorite guy.
I didn't get the invite.
I had a really busy day of drinking and not caring about all the people.
I thought when I thought they said, be black out, not dressing black.
My bad.
Everyone greaves in their own way.
Yeah.
All right.
So now drunk John is going to wrap things up.
And again, I love Doug.
Doug notes John very well.
They go back a long ways and he calls John out right
here. Well, Dougie, it's been good talking to you. I wish I could say the same, but I love
you, pal. Next one, I'm out there. John got a little spin on your cheek there, producer If you want to just wipe that he is famous so
I love you pal I'm out there dinner on me
Yeah, and then you'll forget your credit card. I have no cash on you
Doug is blasting John yes, holy shit
He knows that John doesn't buy dinner
That's not a thing that John does.
And that whole thing with, yeah, you'll forget your credit card.
Remember, that's exactly what happened
when they went to the Yankees game.
And that was when they were like,
oh, yeah, remember, you left your credit card in the car
and you could never go get it.
And so you didn't bet.
He didn't make for anything.
He made his mom buy his attorney a beer.
I don't know if you remember that,
so I was like, I didn't say it.
Anyway, I think props to Doug. I think that famous quote, I don't lie. I don't like to lie.
He meant to say, I don't buy. I don't like. I don't like to lie. I don't like to lie.
I see I always try and help people. So now this is the last clip I have. And John explains.
So on Saturdays, what he used to do is he would do his political show, the settering John
podcast from noon till two and then two to three beer on the balcony.
Now you would think because John's producing his own show that he would have a guest
booked before, oh, I want to know the day of.
Not John.
So he has to go on to explain that at 11 a.m., and how are before the first show, he's
still to not have a guest.
And so he had to ask Doug to come on last minute.
I'm grateful that he came on the show
because I didn't have a guest.
And I called him like an 11.
I'm like, dude, I don't know.
I don't have a beard on the balcony, yes.
He come on.
And he was like, yeah, if I can make work, definitely.
And he did.
And that's tough.
He is great.
What the fuck?
I got you out of a jam.
Just lie.
You don't have to tell anyone.
Just lie.
I know.
I know the whole thing where he said that to his face.
He's like, oh man, thank you so much for coming on last minute.
He made it very clear this wasn't a guest that was planned out.
They're afflicted at their hands.
Definitely not the first time he's done that.
No, I know.
He doesn't understand what he is.
I would say that is for him, for the guest, for everyone involved.
That's why Tony Michaels was on all the time because Tony, the Michaels, when he'd be like,
I need a guest in 10 minutes.
Tony Michaels says nothing going on.
Dr. Tony, can you think of anyone?
The others me, Ja'am.
Oh, yeah.
Pretty good.
Yeah, I guess if you can't think of anyone else that'll work.
All right.
We have a new bumper for us. I don't know if we've played this yet.
I'll show it now. I can't rubber. And I might as well bring Cardiff hot if he's done playing this guitar.
Oh, hello there.
She's a player.
I thought you were.
I thought you were a player.
I thought you were watching a show and played that shit. You know, sex. I got to play a guitar to make it work with a player. I'm a board. I can tell if I'm a watch guy's show and fake that shit.
She's sex.
I got to play guitar and make it work with wild.
Like, um, a cardiff.
Potato man.
Were you playing Nirvana just now?
No.
No.
Okay.
Were you playing it?
Nirvana.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's get right into Tommy from MSCS Media because there's something that I'm picking up on. He has
a thing with Elon Musk. Now, we've pointed this out before where he brought a guest in and
he's like, do you see what Elon tweeted today? He's like, no, it's just a traffic. I just
got here. What do you mean? But he thinks that like the world revolves around Elon Musk and he's constantly talking about it. And he's very annoyed with Zoom meetings
and virtual meeting software.
So remember Magic Jack, that guy that he had out of his show,
that I was a big fan of that.
He was fucking sure.
For the coaster.
The one that he kept asking what like,
tricks he did in his acts.
Yeah, but in the cerebral, what specifically did you do?
Right.
All right.
So they're talking about how during the lockdowns, poor magic
Jack had to start doing shows virtually because there were no
crowds or audiences and he's like, I hated it.
I tried to use OBS, but that sucked.
But I didn't do OBS like a lot of people were doing.
Like that's like a like a program.
It's those sucks anyway.
Yeah, it's those sucks.
If you ever if you want most ever call you to do a show,
can you please tell him like look, look, but you got a rocket to Mars.
Can you please make us something virtual that's quality?
Does he do a OBS?
No, no, but I we need him we need him we need him we need him I
queued to do it so I didn't watch the video episode of the
that I could tell pretty good stuff
so that is an amazing facial hair woolly woolly so like
that he says we could fly to Mars but but for some reason Zoom isn't as consistent
as they want it to be.
And obviously Magic Jax's like, wait,
what does one thing have to do with the other?
I'm not following this.
No, he love us, it's just amazing.
And the reason why I pulled that clip
is because I was watching his latest episode
that just dropped yesterday.
Guess where it dropped producer Cress on YouTube.
Oh, I think that would plan it.
It's fun if I exclusive show. It'sress on YouTube. Oh, these, I think that would plan it. Okay.
The Spotify exclusive show is still on YouTube.
They said starting January 1st, 2023,
it'll no longer be on YouTube.
There it is on YouTube.
I saw that thread and read it.
Like what's up with the Spotify exclusive?
I'm gonna have to do it that.
All right, so brand new episode that just came out
yesterday and listen to the first thing out of Tommy's mouth.
Hey, don't I'm trying to get this stupid.
Get on this zoom.
I hate zoom.
I hate it.
I can't stand it.
I know.
I've had issues myself.
No worries.
No worries.
You guys just take your time and do your thing.
Yeah. You know, it's crazy.
We could send a rocket up into space, come back and land,
but we can't do a virtual podcast
without some delay or some audio issue or something, you know?
I hear you, man, I can barely do it right with my clients.
So, I'm in your pain.
So this is like an ongoing thread with this guy.
And he's, it's always about space travel.
Yeah, everything's just like, I mean,
space travel's possible.
Why can't I fucking video capture something?
He's always knocking earth technology.
He's coming out like, lay off, man.
Yes.
I have a feeling that he was sent here
to find good video communication from his plan
and maybe they haven't even gotten it there.
I have a different theory. I'll go ahead and ahead. I'm convinced that like the reason why he has
so many views is that they're bots. I don't think it's bots. I think YouTube is like available
on Venus. Yes. And he's just really big on Venus. Yes. And that's where all his views come from.
That's why I had to turn off comments because they were speaking in Venus ease out there. Yeah, you're blowing my cover here guys.
And so I also think that he like really wants to get in good with Elon Musk so he can borrow a rocket to get back home.
It's like E.T.
Oh, interesting.
Okay, he doesn't even want to be here.
That's a good theory.
The fuck?
That's a good theory.
I have another theory.
I think that him and Elon used to be friends back
on Venus.
And now Elon's too good for him on Earth.
Because check this out.
He's a strange bird, but we gotta love him.
He's gonna take us to the Mars.
Maybe he's an alien.
Maybe he's an alien.
Maybe he's gonna take us.
He's gonna back here.
He's got a lot of shit real quick.
Whoa!
Tommy's calling people aliens now!
Yeah, this is his deflection.
It's right, he's just like, I'm not an alien,
he might be, but I'm not.
I don't know, I don't know,
it's an alien, right?
You're not me.
I don't know.
He who smelled a Delta.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, when you pointed someone to call the alien,
there's four figures pointing at you.
At least.
And then, in front of him, sometimes I'm not. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm's hiding in plain sight. I've been saying this for a while. I was joking
earlier on, not anymore. I really believe this to be true because they're going through
magic jacks, Instagram feed for whatever reason. And Tommy sees a photo, something that he recognizes.
It's very excited about it. He's a Grammy award-winning singer, songwriter,
and I was hired to entertain his son's party.
That's his son right there.
And...
Whatever the alien thing's called.
The baby Yoda?
Yeah, my daughter at Slippers was.
Oh, yeah?
I got a Yoda tattoo right there, yeah.
My kids got slippers.
How you gonna tattoo?
My kids got slippers, so... gonna do? My kids got slippers.
So, and aliens don't look like that.
Yeah, stupid aliens.
So again, this proves he's not from Pennsylvania, because how could he be the age that he
apparently is and not know who Yoda is?
He goes, oh, that alien right there.
Yoda from Star Wars, you know who that is?
Maybe he's more of a Star Trek guy. Maybe,
but Tab. You think it's not a good curl. Not everyone's a nerd. Everyone knows who Yoda is.
I think there are tribes in the Amazon that don't know who Yoda is. All right, so he's either
from the Amazon or from outer space, but not Pennsylvania. Can we all agree on that?
from the Amazon or from outer space, but not Pennsylvania.
Can we all agree on that?
Oh, definitely not.
Okay, that's all I wanted to say.
I think he landed here on Earth and like to try and blend in,
he saw that Joe Rogan was very popular
and I was like, I'm going to become like Joe Rogan
and then people will like me.
And that's why we have this show.
I'm actually upset that Joe Rogan
is the media figure that he glombed onto.
I just wanna hear his thoughts.
I hate when the guest talks for a long time.
Like let's get back to what Tommy has to say.
Just shut up of a Tommy talk.
It's so rude.
I wish he just did a show where he just like Patrick
Michael style just went random off the top of his head,
talked about vibrations and rockets and zoom calls.
You gotta get him in the room and then like just show him things
of that normal people do yeah and get him to react like what is this like this is target
this is target oh wow all right well here's an example because magic jack has a magic
trick that he's going to do for Tommy they're going to try to figure out how to do it so
I invented this this is a this is a way to quit smoking right here.
And I invented this, this doohickey right here.
This is a, I can't even tell you it's top secret.
Yeah, but what you do is you would take the cigarettes
and you would place the cigarettes inside.
This is a full pack, full pack of 20.
And so you would put the cigarettes inside the box
like this, just like this.
How about I do one want to light one up?
All right, I don't have no urge to smoke cigarettes at all no no no words, but all you do is you say the magic words the magic words are
That's the magic words. Yeah, and look when you say the magic words. That's when the cigarettes vanish
What the fuck yeah, yeah, yeah, and they totally vanish. What the? Wow. Yeah,
and that is how I quit smoking cigarettes. Not really. Actually, it was, it was difficult.
I did it though. All right, so that one got me good. That was all right. I was on it too. I had
the, I had the camera eight on there. Oh, I had to, I did not see anything. We'll have to,
we'll have to check it out. Yeah, I was good. I didn't see either. Oh, fuck.
dope. Very cool. Yeah, I was a pack of fucking cigarettes. Yeah, yeah, I was like two or three cigarettes.
That was a whole pack. He even opened it and showed us. It was a whole pack in there.
Disappeared three cigarettes. That's baby shit.
I don't think Tommy's trying to cover up that he's an alien, I think he's trying to cover
up the fact that he was kicked off his planet for being an idiot.
I think he ran about that.
Maybe I'll fit in with the humans, they're dumb.
He's a little dumb like me.
He's starting to make sense.
They don't even have good video technology.
I'll be like a god to them. And I love that their only goal is to try to figure out
how he does his tricks.
Instead of just being impressed by them
or entertained by them, the guy's like,
I was even zooming in.
I have it in slow mode.
I still don't know how he did it.
Like, well, that's not really the point.
That's supposed to fucking show the world how he does it.
Yeah, what if he did catch something?
Yeah, I should.
It's dick move.
Don't you think?
All right, so Tommy is floored by this line
that Magic Jack has for Huckleers,
because he asked him, he's just like,
you know, he ever had people to show,
he's kind of a dicks, and they think they can figure out
how you're doing stuff, and oh yeah, Magic Jack's a pro.
You know that, to deal with that.
I'm gonna go and do a show and you can follow the dish bags,
I guess, we're like, oh, I knew it.
Yeah, you didn't see the last video.
This is a UFO with a heart drawn around a flying saucer with a heart around it next
to Rob the producer here.
And when the show is successful, Rob, I'll take you to Venus in my spacecraft.
It looks just like this.
Tab, I swear to God, I wish I was joking about this at this point. But it's just, he's
like, look, if I don't talk about aliens at all, then people will get suspicious. Like,
why doesn't he ever talk about aliens? So I'll go in the other direction. Everything's
gonna be about space aliens all the time. Oh, man. Let's find out how he handles hot
glars. Well, that go into a show and you know,
call them the douchebags, I guess.
We're like, oh, I know exactly what he's gonna do here.
And this is how you did it.
And you never get people I say, look dude,
there's no prizes, man.
We give out a prize every other show.
This is the other show.
And so, you know,
there's their prizes.
This is the other show.
I love staying there for kids.
Yeah, I start to find one out for you know. You know, they're prizes. This is the other show. I love them for kids. Yeah.
All right.
Start tying them out for you.
You know, repeating equals funny.
You picked up on that.
Jack goes, well, yeah, I do that for kids.
They're going to think that's funny.
You shouldn't.
Hey, Tommy, I was at a bar the other day
and it said free beer tomorrow on a side.
That great.
That a good joke.
And I went back. And there was free beer tomorrow.
It's never tomorrow.
It's the joke.
All right.
If you guys want to hear more outrageous comedy,
check out this amazing comeback from Magic Jack.
You know.
So like when you're doing this,
and I tell you to do this,
and you got that heckler there,
and he's up your ass.
How do you maintain your focus? How do you got that heckler there and he's up your ass. How do you maintain your focus?
How do you handle that?
So I'm going to say something that I never say in kid shows.
And if I get someone who's really offensive, I'll say, dude, I don't go to your job
and slap the dick out of your mouth, bro.
This dude is fucking cool.
She almost got it right.
Jesus Christ with that one.
It's pretty good.
Come back.
Yeah.
Who's big was that?
You know what I would say back to him?
I'd be like, oh, yeah, that's what your mom said last night when I was figureplasting.
It's on.
No, but that's somebody's bit.
Who's bit was that?
I don't know.
It's a time-eyer's bit.
It's much longer.
Everyone has used that joke one way or another.
Oh, okay.
Slap the dick out of your mouth.
And then they talk about, oh my god.
Again, time we just get so excited about these different things
that this guy brings up.
I don't like to call it a trick because hookers and dogs do tricks.
Not that I know, I own the dog one.
So, uh, crazy.
Yeah, we all don't know.
No, so nobody knows the average layman doesn't know.
You get divorced, I didn't say it, it was you.
Yeah, my wife loves my humor.
Tell me, you get so excited about that. He's like oh fucking occurs fucking occurs. It's great isn't it?
I love it, dude. That's amazing. I wish you had a clip the clip from a arrest development of Job saying
Illusion's Michael because that's what I was thinking the entire time
Reviewed this guy before like they're not tricks. They're illusions Michael. It doesn't calm tricks
It's what dogs and hookers do. Pretty good joke.
So now Tommy talks to him about because Tommy's an expert on stand-up comedy. So he asks
magic jack if he prepares for a show the way a comedian would. And he gives an example of how
Dave Sheppell over here of Dave Sheppell Tim. Yeah, Cardiff, one of the greatest comedians of our time.
You ever hear of Dave Chappelle, Cardiff?
Yes.
All right.
All right, so this is what Tommy thinks
this is how Dave Chappelle prepares for his act.
You know, there's certain things, certain effects
for different shows.
And so... Well, like comedians, like even Chappelle, who'll go to a dive bar, there's certain things, certain effects for different shows.
And so,
well, like comedians, like even Chappelle,
who'll go to a dive bar,
who have material, who'll go to a dive bar,
you know, maybe 30 people are there.
Even to this day, and who'll go test it,
and see how the material, see what the reaction is.
And if some parts are good, okay,
we'll put that aside.
I'm gonna use this for the tour when I go on tour.
And they'll build it up, boom, they add,
everything, they'll do their tour,
they'll do their Netflix,
and then they're back at the table again.
Do you think Dave Chappelle goes to dive fires
to test material?
Tommy?
I'm guessing Dave Chappelle goes to like,
whatever county club is in that town,
he lives in in Ohio,
and that's where he tests material. Do you know how big of a celebrity Dave Chappelle goes to like whatever county club is in that town he lives in Ohio and that's where he tests material
Do you know how big of a celebrity Dave Chappelle is?
Do you think he's just walking into places randomly and like anyone got a microphone?
I can use real quick. He unplugs the two bucks
Is Tommy that dumb that he thinks it? I mean no comedians go to dive bars to work out the material
That doesn't even make sense, but especially not Dave Chappelle. It makes zero sense and he would do that.
I knew he'd fare.
I did see him do comedy in a field.
Yes, and his house.
Yeah, I did do that.
But that was a special.
Goes into like a Walmart and gets on the paging system.
Boom.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Dave Chappelle.
I don't want to test some material.
Yeah, we're going to be talking about trends
for the next 15 minutes.
I hope that's cool with everyone.
I did just yobbered.
Wow, that's pretty good job.
All right, so now Magic Jack has a lot of stories.
They're talking about different shows he's done.
He's saying that he's played everywhere there is to play
and he's got this story that he wants to tell him.
But first, he has to get back to when he was 12 years old
because if you remember last time, I was playing Cliffs from this magic Jack just like insists on telling the story about when he was younger
And time he just wants to move the fuck ah I've performed in every situation a magical even jail
Even love the net even jail. I
Still a cops watching jail and that's another story.
We gotta get into that.
But you stole a cops watch and jail.
A CEO, yeah, you got a job in office.
I, we got it back up to the 12 years old, back to when I was.
What is it with you in this one?
All right, tell me the 12 years old to get it out of here.
Well,
it's out of here.
All right.
Fucking tell me your stupid backstory.
Let's move on.
Give a shit.
He hasn't learned about human patience.
No, he definitely has not.
Also, I love the idea that he's just like,
oh, you're gonna tell me a story about stealing
the correctional officer's watch.
It's like, it's a magic trick.
It's a trick.
It's a story.
That was a story.
It's a illusion car.
It's a illusion car.
Okay.
Illusion Michael.
It's so fucking stupid, Tommy.
But also, Magic Jack, though,
is just insists I'm telling this fucking story
and he finally does get around to that.
And I guess he was in and out of the criminal justice system
quite a bit and he's had a lot of issues.
Now he's from Florida, originally.
Of course, Tommy is from Pennsylvania, as we know.
But this is a pretty good gag about Florida,
that I guess Tommy's familiar with.
I guess people know about the criminal justice system
in Florida being pretty rough.
They used to say, come to Florida on vacation.
What was the saying? Come on vacation.
What was it, Rob?
I've heard it.
Leave on probation.
Yeah, come back on a violence. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
something like that vacation leave on probation. Come back for a violation. Yeah, yeah, that's
exactly right. There you go. That's a bang is about 3,000 times worse. I'm glad. Where?
Pennsylvania's. Oh, yeah, is that where you're from? Oh, yeah. Yeah. All right. All right.
One day, Abby wants for J walkin. There. All right. One Wednesday. How do you want for J walking? There's a day that
you're just on the radar for
Oh, shit.
That's when you're smoking a J
walking across the street. What
is he talking about in planet
Pennsylvania? No way to get the
rest for J walk at the East
Coast. That's very much a West
Coast thing. That's not true.
Carl. It's actually Ashley
Bab its mother was arrested this weekend for J walking in DC. That's true true, Carl. Actually, Ashley Babitt's mother was arrested this weekend
for J. Walking in DC. That's true. I didn't see that. You seem stupid. I think that was a different
circumstance. I think that was the, uh, Jan 6th anniversary that the police were concerned about
on that one. But I see what you mean there, tab. So again, what I love about Tommy is when
he tries to create a backstory for himself. And we know that Tommy has been arrested and
done jail time. So now he's saying that back in Pennsylvania, it's tough with the criminal
justice system. Like you get sucked into it, there's no getting out. And I don't know that
to be the case, but I'm thinking, well, you know, it's Philadelphia, the tough town,
maybe Pittsburgh, maybe that's what he's talking about.
So he's going to clarify on specifically what he's talking about here.
You know, it's the small areas, it's a small town, you know, I don't know, it's boring,
I don't know.
There's only fattening all people falling over the left and right, but I guess.
So let's fast forward.
All right, we would win. So let's fast forward.
Magic Jack made that story disappear
And I agree with you Carl like he interrupted that like no shut up magic Jack with your stupid beard I want to hear about Tommy's criminal past in small town, Pennsylvania
Yeah, I want to hear a person into a human
I want to hear about how tough it is to be J
walking in a small town in Pennsylvania because that doesn't make any fucking sense. What's so
I've heard of. They arrested me for sucking the blood out of cows and fields and leaving their
desiccated corpses. What what are you in for crop circles? The farmers hate it. Keep calling me in.
This guy's a man.
I mean, it's beautiful from space, but for my butter.
So my crops get fucked up.
All right.
All right.
I think it is time.
We have Cardiff here.
All right.
We have Tab here. It's time to play the
game show that is sweeping the nation right now. The galaxy.
The galaxy. It's time for everyone's favorite new game show to catch. An alien.
Are you ready to play? Yes, to catch. Are you talking to yourself right now? I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that
I'm not going to say that
I'm not going to say that
I'm not going to say that
I'm not going to say that
I'm not going to say that
I'm not going to say that
I'm not going to say that
I'm not going to say that
I'm not going to say that
I'm not going to say that I'm not going to say that to catch an alien. What does Cardiff say next?
I think about 60% or 70% of university degrees are completely
friends. You go to a book and look at your teachers who all have medical degrees.
Look at the faculty car park. You'll see some Corbettes. You'll see some Mustang.
You'll see some great vehicles in that car park
And if you go to the run of the mill University, that's gonna teach you business
On your introduction day young people please go there and have a look around the University. Oh, hi. I'm the guy who's gonna be teaching you business
Hello, my name is Tristan take what successful company have you run? How much money do you
Just a guy who has a degree in business. It's a Ponzi scheme.
Yeah, it's a Ponzi scheme.
Fucking law. I'm not gonna see a bunch of broken down Toyoas and fucking dogs fucking
whatever's and nobody has any money. No.
Standing there, having a hundred thousand dollars to stand up for some guy who's only
making fifty grand a year himself.
All these wonderful business like.
It's so bright and so fucking bright.
Make his double minimum wage at best.
He's got another job that he puts to, you know, he's in the back.
He's cooking in the back on his second job at nighttime and he doesn't want to know.
To catch an alien.
Wow.
What did Tommy say next?
Here are your choices.
Number one, this is like when you go to the gym and all the personal
trainers are fat and overweight.
are fat and overweight. B, it's ridiculous. You could learn more about business. Flipping burgers at McDonald's than going to school. But this is the guy that's gonna make me a millionaire, right?
Get the fuck out of here.
Next.
Do you think he ever shows up for his lectures, wearing a chef's hat?
That would be hilarious.
Lastly, you can't teach successful if you haven't been successful.
Am I right to catch an alien?
Wow, another tough one.
Guys, I'm going gonna go with three.
This guy's gonna make me a millionaire,
get the fuck out of here.
Is my guest on this one, Tab, what do you think?
I'm going with Chef's hat.
Okay.
That's a pretty good one, too.
That was four, I think.
Producer, Chris.
That was next.
That was next, yeah.
That was next.
I'm gonna go with number two.
Yeah, the McDonald's.
McDonald's one.
I like that one too. Can I just say that Tommy laughing at
$50,000 a year was the greatest moment of this. Yeah, that was hilarious. Like somebody's guys are making 50 cars a year
Yeah, it's like really out of one of my funny like a clown scene
And they chose to put the camera on him at that point.
Yeah, definitely.
He's like, I pay that to stuttering
John for the interview 50 grand.
That's nothing.
I had a quite awesome guy who's only making 50 grand a year
himself.
Oh, these wonderful business like.
It's so, it's so right.
It's so fucking right.
Make a double minimum wage at best.
Why are you sitting there?
He's trusting.
He's got another job that he's got that he puts to, you know,
he's in the back.
He's cooking in the back on his second job at nighttime and he doesn't want
to know, but this is the guy who's going to make me a millionaire, right?
Yes.
What the fuck out here?
And could that be the more?
This is listening to verified millionaires.
Yeah, that's what I mean. Shit. Five millionaires. That's what
I meant number three. I'm not pulling
any on the fan's down. And that's why
they tried to shut me down because I've
introduced me at our peak and it's
going to fly back up there very, very
soon over 150,000 students.
Congratulations. The revenue that's
coming in. Great time. It gives me the
ability with 150,000 students at that
price level to reward the millionaires
about money that matters for them for their time. So they're well paid. Great. Because of the ability with 150,000 students at that price level to reward the millionaires
about money that matches for them for their time, so they're well paid.
They're well-cubbid.
So, it's going to be the rest of the interview.
Yeah, if you don't mind, because this is fascinating.
This guy, so this guy, I have to watch a lot of this.
He gets millionaires and he pays them all a little bit of money and he sells subscriptions
and people can learn from the millionaires.
So this is a Ponzi scheme.
Correct.
Yeah, basically, people who are wealthy go,
I can teach you how to be wealthy,
and they go, sweet, I want to do that.
Here's a thousand bucks.
Like, all right, now tell people
that you can make that wealthy,
and ask that for a thousand bucks.
Oh, shit, I should have figured that one out
before I give you the thousand bucks.
In the program is getting value for money, and they don't like programs like mine.
Because when I say look, I go 18 millionaires ready to teach you about life and making money
and all the lessons, you know, and it's not just, I'm the affiliate marketing guy, let me
teach you affiliate marketing, they'll talk about their failures, things that went wrong
for them, just general life habits they have for being a millionaire.
You're really learning from these people and the people who are in charge of the world
and big education, like I said, it's called
like big medicine, big farmer,
they don't like programs like mine.
Why would they want every young person in the world
to just access 18 millionaires in their life lessons
and all their money making ideas and stories
for 49 dollars?
They don't want that.
Well, they don't want that because they can't control them.
But they can't control them, they can't control them. But isn't that? They can't control them, they can't control them.
So, sir.
Good point.
I just like that he called them Trish and...
What's his name Tristan?
Yes.
Oh, got it.
Also, the idea that you're on the top of the pyramid of one of these scams, that's
that's a stateable for all of society.
He's like, I don't know why people want to go to school and become doctors and lawyers
and what the and fucking idiots.
Like, well, we need those people too.
You're programmed, I can get people performing surgery.
I also love his analogy of like,
look in the parking lot and see what cars people are driving.
Like, more than three quarters of those cars
belong to students.
Of course they're shitty.
That's a good point too, yeah, right?
That's all for this week. Come back next week to find out if you
have the millionaire mentality to catch an alien.
Brought to you by patreon.com slash card of electric and the
card of electric YouTube. Subscribe today also whtp live.com for
tickets to double con. but please visit us at
stutch on con across the street in the luxury stutch on content no bathrooms
very good card if that's I am the winner
Mm-hmm this week that's fucking exciting. You know what it was?
It was no I didn't cheat it was to get the fuck out of here
I could just picture Tommy do it to get the fuck out of here. Yeah
Yeah, I wanted to go with that one but after you went with it
I wanted to go office of you
I wanted to go with that one, but after you went with it, I wanted to go opposite of you.
Oh, okay, sure.
I'm sure that's why.
I don't want a man's plane to you,
but if you keep telling me how you figure these out,
it makes the game harder.
Yeah, I know you're right.
I guess I'll give away my secrets.
I should listen to Magic Jack,
never give away your secrets.
Yeah.
God damn it, I should know better at this point.
All right, what have we done today?
We've done it all.
You know what that means? It's time for everyone's favorite part of the show.
This is the part of the show we play a clip from the podcast that we'll be reviewing on the next episode of Who Are These Podcasts. I'm excited to tell you that we will have Blind Mike Geary on the show for our midweek
program.
And we will be checking this turn out. Stop us. Nothing can stop us. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, Oh, it's the golden hour.
Is that a Dr. Pepper?
That's even worse than Dr. Whiskey in the morning.
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
The golden hour, starring Brendan Schab,
Eric Griffin and Chris DeLia.
Do you familiar with this show, Deb?
No, I just don't like someone implying
that it's wrong to drink whiskey first thing in the morning.
Well, I don't think it's bad. I just think that Dr. Pepper's
works is what he was saying. Find that personally offensive.
Faradah. But that is a pretty good theme song. It's no jacked up review show,
but it's pretty good. No, it is definitely no.
So the goal now, I think somebody get these three powerhouses on the one show.
It's amazing.
I know, right?
It's pretty incredible.
Now, you'll remember that we reviewed the King the Sting and the Wing at one point.
And that was Theo Vaughn with these three assholes.
And Theo Vaughn is like, all right, I got to get away from you guys.
I'm out of here.
So they've rebranded the show.
If you want to know how I learned about this show, I will tell you from you guys, I'm outta here. So they've rebranded the show, and if you wanna know how I learned about this show,
I will tell you that my buddy, Patti Seacups,
gave me a heads up out of it.
With this video called,
What Is The Golden Hour, a Comedy Mystery?
I'm his episode of Great Job Awesome.
This is Great Job Awesome.
Thank you guys for checking out these videos. Apparently I was right and it is only
Brendan's shop content that you seem to enjoy. It's the only thing I can get a lot of people to click on.
We're up to 40 subscribers now guys. I should at least have 40 plays on the other videos.
I love Perry's Seacups man. If you subscribe if if you want to re-middle it, put it out.
What the fuck?
She gets caught.
She doesn't have 40 views on each video.
Well, according to the bottom of this, he has 252 subscribers.
It's gone up quite a bit in the last month to have.
I like to pat myself on the back if you don't mind.
So I'm sure that this channel will be taken down any minute now.
Well, that's what's so fascinating to me,
because listen to this preamble here
where he wants engagement.
I have played dozens if not hundreds of clips
of Patrick Michael saying, don't email me,
don't write this show, I don't want you to find it,
don't tell a friend, go fuck yourself, I do this for me.
And he's really changed his way since we've ignored him.
I think it kind of changed his whole strategy. Every set is brain. It reset his brain when we started
ignoring him for a few months. When I was gonna happen to Port Sonnery job, good
thing we're not ignoring him. Yeah, right. On the other videos, what are we doing?
But anyways, thank you to all the new subscribers, the people commenting, the
people that are giving
me things to talk about, it's very fun, don't forget to participate.
What?
Thanks for comments, don't forget to participate, who is this kid?
Like and subscribe, I think someone has kidnapped Patrick Michael, wait a minute, well you have
to go to Indiana anyway, but when you go you need to find and make sure he's okay.
I will be on the lookout for him for sure.
I don't like that Patrick Michael has been relegated to the teaser.
I know you like that.
I've been the teaser after the teaser.
He's like a support for the teaser.
Yeah, correct.
Get in those comments.
Start some things.
Say some things.
Let's get it, get it going.
We'll have a video on Mark Harley coming
out very soon, but of course, we're sticking with the Brendan Shobstead.
You like Mark Harley-Cardus?
That was very handsome.
He's a hot guy, huh?
That's what Chris would look like if he grew his hair early.
He's working on it.
Guys, I'm excited about this.
This is going to be a fun little video for you. So let's dive right into it
first and foremost the golden hour. What the hell is it?
Okay, I'm just wondering I'm very curious and this is why the comments are wide open. Let me know what you guys think this is
because I have some idea
As to why these three comedians are doing this podcast. Yeah, we're watching your video. Do you tell us what it is?
I love it. He goes hey, why don't you comment? Tell me the fuck's going on over here. You tell me what the fuck's going on over here
So I'm watching your video
Now now he needs you to comment then he'll do an episode about the comments.
Yeah, right.
He'll Batman TV show, you know,
you gotta tune back in the next day
to find out if they're gonna be safe
from the ridiculous plot contrivance that has them trapped.
You know what, I'm gonna stop doing a podcast.
I'm just gonna go out there and comment on other people's shows
and let them know that they suck or what I think about it.
Why am I doing my own show and I can just be commented?
This is Pat Winkup's art. That's a great question. that they sock or what I think about it. Why am I doing my own show and I can just be commented?
Is this Pat Winkup's art?
That's a great question.
I can't tell if this is art or if it's AI-generated
or what it is.
What do you say?
It seems like he's made Brendan Schobb look more black
than Eric Griffin. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm talking AI, you're so racist AI, damn you. Hence, are doing this podcast.
And we're gonna talk about all three of them right now.
Separately, okay,
because I'm sure they all have different reasons,
and I think I broke it down to the perfect degree
to say, hey, you might be onto something,
and I might get you guys to subscribe some more,
because I heard stuff like ROTC is going away.
I heard.
Yeah, ROTC has moved off of YouTube.
I think they're on Rumble exclusively now.
Rumble, yes.
Oh yeah.
So, locals.
And you're right, and in Paddy's mind,
that means they're going away.
Well, there's nothing else to watch now.
It's just a different website.
What, I mean, he's got to type in two websites now.
I didn't get time for that. He's got to play Fortnite while watching
a YouTube video and recording a podcast at the same time. That's true. I had while watching
a movie on Netflix and while ignoring his kids in the other room. Yeah. You guys just
need a new home for this type of content. And I'm going to bring it to you. All right.
So so far, we're a third of the way through this video and
he's explaining this gonna give us information it's gonna happen and he wants us to give him information
like fucking get to it please what's your take what is it? Even though we are essentially homeless
am I right? Air five. Before we actually get into these now I do also want to say the show is now
available in podcast form
It is not going to feature the same content though, okay? We're gonna talk
Similar things, okay, but it's gonna be longer form. We're gonna. Oh, who is this guys promoting his podcast out?
Telling you to go find it and listen to it. What the fuck?
So he was replaced a replicate came in and replaced Patrick. According to the graphic that was just on the screen,
great job awesome is his new podcast
that features longer length content,
similar to what we're seeing now.
So I wanna have a look to this up guys,
and I am happy to tell you that great job awesome
has had two episodes and it is done.
November 15th, November 18th, never again.
How long are the episodes?
Does it say 19 minutes, 22 minutes?
Up from the six minutes of this YouTube video.
He's got a new email address, no country for funny
at gmail.com.
Ooh, excited about that guy.
He was doxed.
We've doxed, petty seecups.
Oh, he'll be on the next episode of Free Water going, and I don't even check the email. I'm not a good guy. I'm a good guy. I'm a good guy. I'm a good guy. I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy. I'm a good guy. I'm a good guy. I'm of horse shit. It's got a job. It's going to pay
to to file a trademark or to LLC. He's still got 14 people on Patreon supporting him.
It's got it's got a 5.0 star rating with one rating. I'm guessing it was him who rated
this thing. I am the best. Which he will complain about by the end of this video. Him having
to do everything. But all all right back to the video
Do deeper dives. We're gonna play different clips because believe me you can get away with a lot more over there in
Podcast form than you can on YouTube
But either way, let's dive into this and let's talk about these three characters and why
This podcast continued to exist because we all remember it was the king and the sting
Yeah, you're you're making accent is what?
What do it flex a time to all the sex?
Oh good dude. No, it's a very peanut butter falcon rustifying. Yeah, that's terrible. Well fucking no
It's not dude. You're terrible. It's terribly. It's like. Oh, that's like hey go dem movie on the area
Okay, so first up. I have like, ooh, that's like, hey go dem movie on the area. Word of mobs. Still living like that.
Okay, so first up, I have Chris D'Alea.
Okay?
I feel like he does this golden hour podcast to try to better his name.
Hey guys, look, I do a podcast with a dumb guy and a famous not famous guy.
I never did anything bad before in my past. I've got a kid in a wife.
What is that even mean?
Ha ha ha.
Hey guys, I'm saying I'm a putt of file.
I can bring a job over here next to me.
Let's, let's out point at him for a minute, shall we?
Ha ha ha.
Shared of deflect attention.
Ha ha ha.
I can't be that bad.
I hang out with the retags.
Ha ha ha.
I'm doing charity work over here.
What do you want for me?
And I think Eric Griffin does it because. oh, so that's the end of his
Chris only a take on
Okay, let's find out about Eric Griffin. Why is he doing this job?
And I think Eric Griffin does it because he cannot grow a fan base on his own man
And he has tried so many times.
So many times I bet you he can't wait for that workaholics movie guys.
His podcast numbers are terrible and his guest appearances are mostly boring but even if
they're good appearances such as the Rick Glassman stuff he doesn't get anything out
of it.
I bet Eric Griffin could show up on Joe Rogan and still his podcast numbers wouldn't change. How does he always podcast numbers? I don't know
it's a good question. He's inside of the system. Yeah. He's like he's like
Neo. He's become part of the podcast. Has Eric Griffin been on Joe Rogan? I
think he would have been. No, okay. Oh, thanks. Oh, I guess your friend's though
from the comedy store. Well, right. That's why I wouldn't have expected him to be on there at some point
But pretty hot take there from from patty
Of course we have Brendan and I feel like this guy does it for the money
But also to make people take him seriously by surrounding himself with more successful entertainers and
That includes the And that includes the guest. That includes anybody else he works
with outside of this podcast, Brian Callan, all these guys that actually carry the content.
And I'll say this, I've watched several of these new episodes when it's just them and
there is no possible Theo appearance. And Chris does a great thing by calling out a lot of Brendan Shavs dumbass shit
If that doesn't make you appreciate him. I don't know what will I mean you can give us an example if you wanted to
Fatty and the best part is they do this thing all right
Spying guys thanks for watching my video. Hey, you want a fun fact Carl? Yeah, I love fun facts
Eric Griffin has been on Joe Rogan. I do it. I do it
So he goes I bet this guy if you do want to joke Rogan people wouldn't give a shit. No, that is actually true
Episode 1126 patty
there it is
But in the end they all have their reasons
But together we can agree it's a money grab. Yeah
Because they all have other podcasts and other projects.
Oh, okay.
So if you have other podcasts or the projects,
then you shouldn't do that.
Says the guy who's done more podcasts
than anyone in the history of podcasting.
He's calling them all forever
too many shows and projects going on.
He's changed.
That makes sense.
Yeah, there's like a staff that there's a podcast
for every like five people in the United States.
Yeah.
And Patrick and Michael has set the curve on that.
Correct.
If it were for his podcast, it would be like for every 11 people.
Yeah.
Well, I'm excited to see that because I always like when Brennan jobs is really stupid
shit.
Just go host after try to react to that.
Either by trying to smooth it over or calling them out either way is a fun to see.
So that's gonna be the next show that we do.
I'm looking forward to that.
And I should put a plug in for my buddy,
Blind Mike, because I'm gonna go on,
why are you laughing next week to do an episode
all about the Pelican brief,
that PowerPoint presentation,
that Howard Stern gave to his staff back in 2013,
telling them to create fake Twitter accounts
and telling Richard Christie to get Brad Pitt
booked down the show.
So that'll be a lot of fun.
And also I should point out the creep off,
thank you Alex for inviting me.
I do a show called The Creep off
with my buddy Vinnie Paulino.
And you can go to our sub-reddit
and vote for who brought the bigger creep.
And apparently I'm losing right now.
Oh no.
I can't keep losing.
I have to drive to Gary Deanna.
I almost say, I think that that best of 2022 episode,
I think you got robbed.
Yes.
Because Vinny's creep most of his crimes
were not committed in 2022.
All I did in 2022 is get drunk and steal some tools.
But everyone voted for the Phil Hartman thing.
Yes, I know.
I totally agree with you.
I think Vinnie cheated as usual.
Brian Johnson was on.
He cheated because the guy wasn't even alive.
Because his was like a 2020 crime.
But then the trial happened in 2022.
Like that's not the creep.
Thank you, tab. Maybe we should have you
out the creep, Bob. You see Dr. Stan what's going on?
I got all the rules properly. I hope Vinnie, I hope Vinnie doesn't cheat on Monday night
on our new show together. Oh, that's right. You guys have a new show. There's always
everyone's surfing the subreddit surfing. Yes, with Vinnie and Cardiff. Yeah. What's that
going to be? So essentially, the two great two great hosts obviously you have that component, but
We will we will explore some of the most disgusting despicable
Bizarre subreddits on the internet and then we will post our stream layer link in that subreddit and see who shows up
Oh, that's a funny idea. Yes. All right.
It's cool.
It sounds like a lot of fun.
Sorry to bring the show to a screeching halt.
Are you though?
No.
All right, thanks out.
All right, guys.
Thank you so much for coming on the show.
Tab, it's been a blast catching up with you.
Where can people find you these days?
I'm on a, here's what I don't get,
hwadg.com or patreon.com slash hwadg.
Speaking of writing Carl's enigma,
we've stolen your format in a sense
and we now have a rotating roster of co-hosts
instead of the same normal co-hosts,
but we're still going.
You can also see me February 3rd and 4th
at the Midwest
Melinda's meet up. We're going to be in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.
Damn it. So much competition. God damn it. We're zoom-oct. Seriously.
Zoom-oct, yeah, yeah. I'm just waiting for you. No, I'm just kidding.
Luma's cheating Gomez to put out a fucking big event in Buffalo, just to fuck it up even
more. I wish I could come out to
Dabble con but I am I've got a show that weekend so
You're so fucking important setting up the lights. Yeah and sand and sand
It's a one-man plague. I get straight out of beach
You know that island
It's a two-man play. It's the K actually. Oh, okay
Cardiff I would tell you to plug ship, but I feel like that's all the show is now. It's just kind of plugging
It's gotten so good. Please join us again next time it might be the episode we find out what's for all who are these podcasts?
Sleep well every pony
Okay great show good job everybody great job everyone
From YouTube banana song 666 leads us off with what is wrong with me that I get excited like a little girl on Christmas
when I see that there's a new Chad beading.
Dildos wagons, he's an old man that keeps talking about his birthday.
Reminds me of Stuttering John, the ghost of Mr. P.O. Pines, Shule is not that much different
than Chad.
External extrapolations, thankfully Jim Forrantine really stuck it to him at the end, or at least
Chad Zumak's stepdad did to his mom.
Put into it, Chad stopped drinking and started doing ivy liquids in the hopes that his
upper lip comes back, and adds, someone should've told Jenny Jingles, Bob is packing
heat.
Gina Bovino with,
JANNAIA!
Yay!
Please and thanks, Carlito.
Always add more Jenny if the option is there.
SRB2591 with similar thoughts.
Man, I love that stupid potato.
Toy-2 TVT asks, you have to kill one.
Jenny or the potato.
And some comments regarding Tom Meyer's stand-up.
Sir Miles the Cat shares, I've seen more laughs at an elementary school shooting memorial
than Tom stand up.
Morgan Freeman's favorite freckle, him seaside between bombing jokes and I teach younger
comics lots of stuff is incredible.
I think literally any human could have done at least as good a job.
Christopher Kinsella, this is what I've been waiting for.
Tom Meyers' content is too underrated.
Here's some other things that shouldn't be said in Baltimore.
Armageddon, would not work in Baltimore.
There's no asteroids in Baltimore.
Wouldn't work.
Um, what else?
King of New York can't be said in Baltimore because it's in New York.
Uh, so I have a cat.
Grizzle horn.
I am from Maryland, and this guy doesn't make anyone hear laugh either.
Thomas Jameson.
Tom Mayors against the world. Tom is still performing so the world is obviously losing
big time. Sunday morning runner would be less uncomfortable watching Tom Myers get a Columbian
necktie. Jackpots after dark, painfully unfunny set, it's like a series of paper cuts.
Gianni Friendly, funnier than Shob, and Dr. Scotty Jones plays us out with, I don't know,
I think he has potential.
You know Tom Myers is like 11 years sober now?
Yes, you now sit on tiktok.
Yeah, I wonder if he was funny before he stopped drinking.
Doubt it.
Kind of doubt it too.
Doubtful.
Alex, thank you for reminding me also
that Lorenzo Areola has a Patreon now.
The people should go and support it.
They like that, so I'll funny.
And Lorenzo's content, of course.
Lorenzo is a frequent guest
of the Cardiff Electric podcast at this point.
I get 40% of his Patreon too.
Okay, so if you like the potato and you like Lorenzo,
what's the, what is it, funky Eskimo?
I don't know.
Patreon.com slash funky Eskimo I believe.
Sure, I think Lorenzo are your old, I don't know.
All right.
So it's something like that.
Not a secretary.
All right, that's the vast plug I've ever given to my wife.
Also, a Gonzo pointed out earlier in the show
that the episode where Chad Zuma got blackout drunk
with misery loves company has come out.
I know that's exciting.
So I'm very much looking forward to that.
Cardiff, you should try to get Chad back out, but when he's like blackout drunk, it might
be fun.
No, Colin.
Hey, Cardiff, if you have any reviews for the show
that you can read for us, can you hear me?
I got no.
It's something we just went wrong.
Yes, I should let the audience know there is still a review
segment on the show.
So please continue to review who are these podcasts
because Carl, they are slowing down.
I have to dig for this.
I've noticed that.
Yeah, what's going on with Asa?
Because our girls Hannah and Vic have not been here reading these reviews?
Very likely.
So, they're going to get a talking too.
So I had to scrub the internet for this one, but I did find one that I don't believe
has been on the show.
Okay.
Picture a mid-40s lifelong Buffalo Bills fan.
Now imagine, he thought he knew everything about
podcasting. He didn't. But he knew enough to see a great formula to follow.
He's pointing radio's oldest bit at its newest version. It's called stealing
bits. But the best version is when you get them to do your do you their bits on
your show and then go away. Carl's voice fluctuates wildly from
Gilbert Godfried to Patrick Star. He has a thick accent. Can't say exaci is clubfooted and deviated
his own septum with a spoon in a failed attempt to disguise his effeminate affect but he's not stupid.
That's very positive. Wow.
That's the most positive thing I think.
You've ever run before, Gareth.
Yes.
Also, Chaggie, what are you talking about?
Is that a five, sir?
Yes.
Nice.
Thank you.
It sounds so disappointed.
Yeah, that's a five.
I looked.
I searched.
He's really against that.
I almost wrote my own, but didn't have time you know
I'm gonna put together a super cut of you clicking your fucking mouse over there, Cardiff you want to make one of my mouth noises
You're in that fucking mouth
All right, I was looking. Oh, sorry. This is a boy's mouth, shall we?
This one's for you Cardiff
Oh, hey Adam thought. Is Cardiff, a card at Adam Driver or someone doing an Adam Driver impression?
I say it is because if you watch that scene from inside the wet, wet, lullabatus,
where Adam Driver sings, please Mr. Kennedy, and goes,
Outer, Space, Outer, Space.
Sure sounds a lot like Cardiff. Don't call me back.
Cardiff, comment. I know what I have to do. I I don't know why.
I don't even know.
I'm not even sure if I'm aware who Adam Driver is at this point.
I thought it was a Star Wars guy.
Yeah it is.
Oh it is, okay.
Yes, I know what I have to do.
It's the new Darth Vader guy, yeah.
Yes, yes, okay.
It's just a deep voice, guys.
So, I look into it too much.
I thought that went to a backstab.
Geek stuff, geek stuff, believe that I was Adam Driver for a while.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yes.
Never made go on.
Hello, Carl and co-host.
Just listening to the recent episode where you were nice
Dargo listening to MSCS Tommy talking.
I think what really enhances the idea that he's an alien
is that he's trying so hard to be Joe Rogan and he's actually
so much dumber than Joe Rogan.
So he's trying to sound really smart and he's just saying things that he would never actually
say because he's trying to sound more insightful or more smart than he actually is and it just
makes you fuck up everything that he says that it makes it sound like an alien to go perfectly with these looks.
Anyway that might be obvious to everyone else I just thought might be interesting.
So you're wow Tommy exposed right here you heard it people.
Thank you for explaining that to us. Hey you guys realize that Tommy's really dumb?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's actually trying to give give him out by saying he's not from here, but
Maybe that's not the case who does
All right, if he's from Pennsylvania, there's something in the water out there
No, there's something in the water and fucking Flint Michigan. Here's a Nate's from Flint Michigan
Carl Nate from Flint Michigan
Tell card if I apologize and I beg forgiveness for the hate from my last voice.
I stand by what I said, but I didn't package it very well.
And Doug, from the Great Time, good movies is correct.
I only listen to your podcast.
I don't sit down for three hours and watch you guys live stream it.
I'm a general contractor.
I was in the middle of a painting job, and I was pissed off at the painting job when I made that phone call, but I'm not crippled and I'm not in sale. So I actually have things going on in my life. So I look into your show. I don't watch your show. I watch things that are entertaining. But oh, sorry for that. I apologize to you, Carl. Please forgive me. Jesus. That John devil.
Verse.
Con.
Stutter slam. We'll see you there, buddy.
Looking forward to it. Funny watching this show is like watching
paint dry. So I think you would feel ready.
I think what you mean is apology accepted is because what
you're about to say there. Yes, yes. Okay. All right. So I'm
guy from Detroit,
called it to the show.
I hope it's not too corny or corny at all,
but that fucking civilized show.
It's the worst thing I've ever had in my fucking headphones on the job.
It's terrible. I feel sorry for you guys that you had to play it,
but if you're fucking worse from myself that I could hear that shit.
Don't do that anymore.
Please, thank you. I'm from Detroit. Bye.
All right. Sorry. That's it. That chick's voice was great. Yeah. I know. She was the worst
B-tricks. Yeah. Oh, those people, their voices are so punchable.
Excuse me. Wouldn't think that you'd want a punch of voice, but here we are.
2022 voices are 23.
What ever fucking year it is now.
All right, here's a suggestion for cringe of the week.
Carl camp on Tommy.
Oh my fucking God for cringe of the week.
I know you listen, Alcorito, their latest episode,
parry Cavallo,, since Perry got on,
till like past 15 minutes in, at the 15 minute mark,
they're talking about fucking Perry's eyes with shit.
What the fuck?
Did you call us there?
What the fuck are you doing, dude?
Go fucking get your friend, dude.
Go get your friend.
That's fucking weird.
I don't know all of them.
They're like, yeah, maybe, uh, maybe you should freeze it, you put a bag,
what the fuck, fuck this.
All right, good point.
Grinch of the Week is not normally a 40 minute clip,
but thanks for the suggestion.
All right, here's someone else.
Now for Grinch of the Week, I'm gonna take half hour,
take a lunch break.
Correct. Grinch of the Week, you gotta hear this whole episode of Joe Rogan, this is crazy. All right, here's someone for cringe the week. I'm gonna take half hour take a lunch break
Cringe the week get a hear this whole episode of Joe Rogan. Yeah, this is crazy
cringe amongst yourselves. All right
This is last voice now a lot of questions coming in does
Tell me Carl how do you feel about the fact you tell people to hate Chad film like and then they do
Does that make up for years of disappointment in high school?
Does it spend a little bit of blood here, genitals?
Now, as you've broken stuttering down,
do you feel better about yourself?
What is it like to give your wife and her
illicit lovers for the constant cuddling?
How is your life changed in a general kind of way
since you started a successful podcast?
Please be as comprehensive and exhaustive in your answer as possible.
One of those questions we're leading.
Yeah, they were.
You know, they were kind of planning some seeds in there.
Did you write those down, Chris?
No.
I didn't see Chris writing that time.
I don't want to be part of the transcript later.
Right. I want't want to be part of the transcript later. Right.
I want answers.
Cardiff.
Yes.
Thanks for joining us on the show, buddy.
I appreciate it.
Anytime, anytime.
Cardiff loves reading reviews.
Please keep those reviews coming in.
Yes.
And, Tab, great to see.
I'm sorry you can't be at, what does it call the Applecat?
Applecat.
It's a jackpot.
Yeah, I'm hoping to be there for the Dixho crossover though.
And Philly in the 22nd April, April 22nd.
We will be in Philadelphia.
More information will be coming for that.
But that is going to be amazing.
I should say I should say Carl.
I should let everyone know I there is no chance I will be in Philadelphia in
April. So,
I should let everyone know, there is no chance I will be in Philadelphia in April. So, Stutch on Khan, in Rochester, in February, will be your last chance to see me this year.
That's the place to be.
100% W-3-L-I-D-A-G-R-E-If you want to use a bathroom.
Okay, folks, guess what?
The episodes?
Oh, wow!
That was a great episode!
That was really great!
Go fuck yourselves, have a good week.
The episodes?
Oh wow!
That was a great episode!
That was really great!
Go fuck yourselves!
Have a good week!