Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep400 - Bertcast, Step by Stapp, Free Beer & Hot Wings
Episode Date: April 9, 2023It's our 400th episode and we're celebrating by bringing back some of the worst shows from the first 399 episodes. We start with Bertcast, a show where Bert Kreischer talks at his guest about himself.... Then we hit Step by Stapp, a show with the worse premise ever concocted. Then it's Free Beer and Hot Wings, a morning radio show that is in dozens of markets and heard by dozens of people. Trucker Andy and Eric Zane both join the show to present the best of the worst. Then we address the fallout from the Tampa Accord before moving on to a classic Beer on the Balcony from Stuttering John. Also, Hannah and Lucy Tightbox join us for To Catch An Alien, a special edition of Who Said It, creepy AI Karl, people hating on Hannah's nudes, and much more. https://www.youtube.com/@OnceOverwithCayley Support us, get bonus episodes, Vic and Hannah pics, and watch live every Saturday and most Wednesdays: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hello and welcome to another episode of F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F That's the handful of shit you got. That's what I was saying. That's my memory.
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It's show time. W-A-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W- The man whose voice sounds like a guy who had a much more successful career in radio, it's Eric Zane.
What's happening to Eric?
How you doing, Carl?
I'm doing great.
Thanks for coming up.
Also, on the show, the man who might soon be known as Andy.
It's Trucker Andy, everyone.
Let's cut shit.
And Lucy Tapebox is in studio, aren't that news, girl?
Yeah, so exciting.
Very exciting stuff.
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You know what we gotta do?
We gotta do another bonus show.
And we haven't talked about John's book in a minute.
Yeah.
Maybe next week.
All right.
Let's get a bonus show in next week.
We'll do another couple of chapters of Easy for You to Say.
Oh, we're gonna laugh at asses, huh?
I can't wait to laugh my ass off.
We're laughing at asses, huh?
Today, episode 400, another milestone,
we'll be reviewing some of our favorite
terrible shows from the first 399 episodes.
We have each brought separate shows.
We have not discussed it with each other beforehand.
Let's get into it.
I'm gonna start things off gentlemen.
And I want to present to you a show
that we first reviewed May 26, 2019. We're going back almost four years. And that
little show is called Birdcast. That's right everybody.
She's crazy. Fuck you. Let's get right to it. We got our boy, Bird Crasher. And all right,
this is going to be pretty exciting. This is a pretty crazy twist right now. In order to roast spurt,
there's somebody who knows him very well
who's gonna come on the show and join us.
Guys, it's been a work the entire time.
Chad Zumak is coming on the show.
Chad, welcome to WATP, buddy.
What's got, okay, not really.
It's not really, okay, could you imagine that, be funny.
That would have been a good gag.
All right, so this is Bert starting up the show.
Now, before the show starts,
he's just kind of promoting stuff.
And he's lifting off all the comedians
he's gonna have on his fully loaded comedy tour.
Oh, Bert Christchurch is doing a list of things.
Well, this list he should know
because it's the comedians on his tour.
But for whatever reason, he doesn't just write it down so they'll know who's out of the
show.
Or just know it.
Yeah.
Come spend summer with me and the best comics on the planet.
That is who I will be on tour with this summer.
It's a great lineup.
Louis Black, me, David Tell, Jim Norton, Big J. Oaks, Sintipney Haddish.
I mean, the, the, the, the, the, the, I'm, I'm literally Ralph Barbosa, uh, uh,
Jack Daniels, um, I, I, there's the list is thick. So I'll see you on the road.
So am I taking a guy, man, taking a guy, he missed Shane Gillis, Mark Norman and Dan Soder.
Those are the points when I throw out there out there. You're trying to sell tickets.
I like how he at least he phrased it right
when he said the best comedians and that and me.
And me. Yeah.
He didn't include himself in that,
which is correct to do that.
And I have to say, I went to his show
when they came to Rochester
and it's nice to go on last
so I can see all the comedians I like
and then get the hell out of there.
Yeah.
You need to crowd.
You know what jokes you're going to be hearing again.
Right, exactly.
I do wish that show was coming somewhere near us
because that is a pretty good lineup, I have to say.
Yeah.
This is a new episode.
Yeah, this is brand new.
Oh, OK.
Yeah, so he's going to introduce his guest
who is Kelsey Cook.
And again, easily just do a take two on this.
It's not like they're live or this is all pre-recorded before he does the interview.
Um, she has a new special out right now.
It's called the Hustler.
It's out on 800 pound gorillas YouTube page.
It's already got I think 600,000 views or in one day.
So she's killing it.
In one day, two weeks, two weeks, two weeks.
She's killing it.
Whoa.
This is just the first 30 seconds of the shuttle.
He's already fucking it all up.
I guess that's part of his charm.
It's fine that he's a dummy or something, I guess.
He's nervous.
Yeah, he must be nervous.
He makes people feel smart.
That's why people like him.
So Kelsey starts interviewing him, of course,
because he's terrible interviewing people,
which I'll point out with a few examples here.
Kelsey starts interviewing Bert
and asks to be able to check through this family
before he lets out a lot of real personal information.
It's like, you know, you talk about your daughters
and your wife and they ever get upset,
they ever talk to you and say,
you shouldn't have said that,
and this is the answer to that.
Luckily everyone just thinks I'm a liar.
So like they go, I know that's a little inflated.
Like I know that that didn't exactly happen.
So I think they, my daughters and my wives rest on that.
Oh good.
That one believes anything he says.
That works out well.
For a storyteller comic, you know, he made his whole thing with the machine.
You would think of it not being like, everyone knows I'm just a liar.
It'd be like a bad thing to say, but not for Bert.
He's able to pull it off.
It's impressive.
All right, so now they start talking about Kelsey's new special.
She's there to promote this special that she did.
It's up on YouTube.
Anyone can watch it.
And of course, Bert immediately makes it all about him.
But it will be available everywhere for free March 9th on YouTube.
Where'd you shoot it?
I shot it at Comedy Works in Denver.
Oh, great fucking place.
That's so fucking good.
I shot a special there once.
Did you?
Yeah.
Okay, yeah.
I shot it, but it never got released, I ended up selling it to Netflix.
I ended up shooting it.
I ended up selling that material to Netflix.
Oh, I'm doing it.
I'm doing it, a special on Netflix.
That was secret time.
Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, I didn't have any options. some material in Netflix, especially on Netflix. That was secret time.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Yeah, I didn't have any options.
I mean, no one wanted to work with me.
I was just, and this is like,
I'm trying to see if there's anything.
Like now YouTube is a nice fucking place
for things to land.
Really nice place to find comedy.
Yeah, no, it's good that you're doing that.
I mean, I would never do that.
I was waiting for a Netflix deal.
But no, that's cool.
YouTube's great.
That's a great place to put yourself up for free.
Anybody else grossed out by that fucking gnarly ass,
dusty foot that's kind of just there?
Well, he also sits on his feet and picks it them
throughout the interview,
which is always attractive.
God, just be glad he's still got his shirt on, Eric, okay?
I can point.
So, after that, he goes on to talk about how he filmed six shows at this venue where she
did her special.
I did it to them, the Nutflix called, but it was okay because he got to reshoot the
special and he got better at his material.
And you're not as interesting as you think, you are, Bert.
She's supposed to be interviewing Kelsey about her career at her special, and he can't help
himself.
So, Kelsey is talking about when she was shooting her special,
bad timing, she did it in Denver,
and the avalanche were in the finals,
and the night she was recording her special,
they were playing a game at home in Denver.
So for the second taping, because they do two shows,
all these drunk people wander in from the game.
Ooh, so there's these like really obnoxious drunk women
who are just talking at her while she's like filming.
She's like, you know, they have all these analyses
for the show like, by the way, it's a special taping tonight.
So we're gonna need everyone to keep their talk down
and just pay attention and build a lot of these
whippers shouting at her.
And the way it's rules.
Yes.
So, so Kelsey's explaining that like,
yeah, we had to escort them out and it was a whole thing.
And then Bert, of course, has to make this about him again.
So he starts talking about how he thinks
the fuckups are great for specials.
Does it make the special?
It doesn't make the special.
But you've got the outtake.
But I should probably.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
So my special, the best parts of my special,
obviously I'm very proud of the material.
I think it was a really good job on that special.
I think I know for a fact,
it's the only special I've had,
all shows do well.
Okay.
All shows did well.
Yeah.
But the best part, like in the middle,
I had to take a piss.
I just went off to the side of the stage and took a piss
on the side of the stage.
And then I fucked up a line and it was hilarious.
I did these outtakes of jokes that wouldn't make the
special just to make it fun because I'd already gotten on the first and second show.
And so all those outtakes I'm using for my promo for the special because I go because
they're fun.
Wow.
Does that kind of prove that he's more of a spectacle than he's a stand up?
Definitely.
I promote my stand up special with the fuck ups.
Yeah.
But enough about me.
Yeah, right. What. But enough about me.
Yeah, right.
What is that thing of me?
Well, one of the best parts was when I walked off stage.
Everyone loved that.
It's funny you say that because Burke goes on and on
about how he's learned to just drink beer and winging on stage
and he's got a totally different style now and how he does things.
So now it's Kelsey's turn to talk. And you know, the guest of the show
and she just has to compliment Burke
because it's just like, I guess we're talking about
Burke tonight.
And then you get to a place where you're like,
this is my hour.
It's my favorite.
I got a new one.
Why not just be like this fucking,
why not show people the night of their lives, you know?
Yeah, I feel like you've always been good about that too in terms of
just giving the crowd
What is the best show you can give them? I feel yeah, thank you
And I my one news resolution has been to
Care less what people think about me and in particular what other comics think of me. Oh, yeah, you can get, you can tell that to go fuck itself in the head.
I, I, I, and not that I got.
He hit Jerusalem.
And on.
She put it into talking.
He's like, no, no, no, no, no.
Saddle that.
He settled that on.
Yeah, I got this.
The men are talking here.
Please.
Shut up. I'm. Please. Shut up.
Shut up for a second, asshole.
What a goddamn character flaw.
You know, I never really, I didn't pick this out.
I would never been able to pick this out on my own.
So I'm glad you're doing this.
Well, it's odd to me that some people have this style of podcasts.
I think it's because of Joe Rogan more than anything else.
The all thing gets us down and talk to a guest, but Joe Rogan interviews guests.
Right.
He listens.
He fucking listens to them.
He pays attention to what they're saying.
Right.
I think he said it best when he said he asks one question and then he's just paying
attention to what they're saying, which brings on another question.
That's what normal people do.
But this fucking asshole, God, that's incredible.
He has something else.
It's so funny too, because I remember when we did the Bill Mar
interview show and I did the episode with him,
and he's the guest down there.
So when he's posting his own show,
he won't shut up about himself and doesn't let his guest talk.
And then when we was on Bill Mar,
he was just like, oh yeah, Bill, tell me all about it.
And he like barely said anything.
So maybe he's just letting Bill sit down, this works then. Yeah. He just thinks that like, no, it's Bill, tell me all about it. And he like barely said anything. So maybe he's just like, doesn't have to say how this works, then.
Yeah.
He just thinks that like, no, it's my show, I talk.
Yeah.
Obviously has a background.
Because it's funny, I've never seen David Letterman
have a standup on and have them tell us,
or be like, oh, yeah, well, you know,
when I was at the comedy store in 78,
you know, I've never seen Letterman trying to one up
somebody like this guy does not stop.
Do his guess.
So at this point,
Bert's talking about how,
you know, we don't need to impress other comics.
That's not the reason to do comedy
and he explains that other comics give him shit
for taking his shirt off.
Yeah.
And rightfully so.
Thank you.
It's kind of hack,
but no, it's not hack.
He's gonna explain.
It's not gonna tack.
I remember here in Shane Gillis and Mark Norman on a Rogan podcast and then we're like,
people shit on Burt for taking a shirt off and I was like, I remember going,
oh, yeah, and I was like, but I remember having people ask me not to take my shirt off at the store
and going, coming up to me and going, like legit comics, like, hey man, I'm going to go up after you, don't take a shirt off and I was like, and come up to me and go and like legit comics. I came in, I'm gonna go up after you don't tell you to shirt off and I was like,
I was like, at first I was like, oh, they don't want me to be a hack and then I was like,
oh, they're just scared to follow me.
Oh, oh, he's too funny with a shirt off.
He's super funny.
There's not make it any funny.
It's super power's taking his shirt off.
I can't follow that.
Yeah.
I can't follow somebody taking their shirt off.
Well, because of the pile of sweat on the stage, you might slip it up.
Yeah, it's a hazard.
It's like, it's coming up.
See equivalent of Gallagher smashing a watermelon.
I think I did.
He should paint his stomach like a watermelon when people hit it.
Yes.
I mean, it's better than a dunk take.
Now that I think about it, it's more fun.
You just would have directly. Definitely, we better than a dog tag. Now, I think about it. It's more funny, just a bit of directly.
Definitely, we would be a better act.
So now, Bert just did the Boston Garden
for 15,000 people.
Oh, God, did it.
It hurts my soul.
And he's that many people.
He's a very big comic.
At every show he does, there's more and more people
coming out to the shows.
No.
And so he wants to justify the fact that he's still doing
the machine bit, even though he's been doing this
for his entire career.
So the last time I did Boston, I did like two shows
at the Wang, I think.
I think that's, I don't know how much that is,
but it's not as big as where I am.
So every time I go to places, it's twice as big
as I've been before. So that means there's new people that haven't heard the machine story.
Until I, I mean, maybe I'll retire it after the movie.
Maybe I'll, who knows?
Who knows?
There's no chance of that.
Who knows?
All I know is that as a fan of comedy, I want to see the best show possible, because I bring
on my wife and my wife's not a fan of comedy, but I am.
And I want to make sure that she knows that the shit I like is good.
She doesn't know what it is
She's married to you. No, what what he's trying to say here is like there could be a couple people who don't know the machine started the show
No, they do everyone knows the squeegee joke right. Yeah, I got to do the squeegee bed
Obviously, he's gonna turn into Stuttering John where 20 years from now
He just shows up with the tape of the movie and just like stands on stage and puts it on and lets people watch his stupid fucking movie.
Also him having to tell the difference on Joe Rogan.
He'll play clips from that.
Hey guys, remember he's got Joe Rogan?
Yeah.
Give it up for Joe Rogan.
It's Harry everybody.
Principal uncertainty said I would rather attend a Nazi rally.
Good joke, but based on what people are saying on Twitter,
maybe not appropriate die right now.
Let's throw out the Edward's.
I don't know.
Speaking of Joe Rogan, always at the new end word.
I guess.
The end word is better placed, everybody.
It's breaking news.
Speaking of Joe Rogan, there's like a miliou
within this comedic universe, the West Coast comics, and close your eyes
everybody and picture Joe Rogan and tell me this isn't an exact impression.
He's not trying to.
An exact impression of him.
He fucking murdered.
I have.
Yeah.
It sounds like Joe Rogan talking about me.
I had to do a double take real quick.
Did you get a drop?
What just happened?
All right. So now Kelsey tries to tell a double take real quick. Did you get a drop? What just happened? All right.
So now Kelsey tries to tell a story.
Okay.
All right.
She's going to try.
There might be some interrupted going on in this clip.
Yeah.
I remember when we did Portland together forever ago.
And I just talked about that.
Yeah.
I just talked about that.
In the last week,
just about that last week with Chris Porter,
I'll do an outfit.
Yeah, because we were shopping in an outlet and I said,
oh yeah, I said, you know what's great
is I went with Kelsey one time and I was,
it was like, I didn't know if my girls would like
or my wife would like, so I just run things by her now.
What a story Mark.
All right, I can't with a joke.
I think you guys might like this.
Producer Cress, knock knock.
Oh, who's there?
Bert.
Moo.
Cause he get to us.
That's the joke.
Good one.
Thank you for interrupting me so that you could forget what you were going to say.
Yeah, we're in an asshole.
Yeah, like a child.
Like a child.
Look it, look it, look it.
And that story was all about them going to the mall and him buying clothes that she liked
for his wife and daughter.
That's fascinating.
I know.
Amazing.
He wasn't telling this or he was telling us how he was just telling that story last year.
Yeah.
So it's sustainable.
Yeah. How many times have you told this story?
Carl, that's one of my pet peeves
when that filter that you have, part of your brain
just is inoperable.
And it's staggering to me how many,
how often that you will encounter someone
in the real world who does that.
And every time it's like, fuck me, god, get me outta here.
It really chaps my hide, Eric, what they do that.
This is good editing, whoever's editing this show
leaves this on a cliffhanger going into the break.
We can edit this out if you want to,
but do you talk about who you're dating?
Now that spring is finally here,
the days are longer.
Whoa, are we gonna find out who she's dating?
I don't know, I gotta sit through the commercials.
Yeah, I don't know what's gonna happen.
So now they come back from the commercial break
and it turns out that not only does she say
who she's dating, Bert's already talked about it
at a very big show.
You know, it was so funny.
So you had talked about us on two bears.
You sent me that text and I don't remember
talking about you guys.
Oh, that's so funny.
Do you hear a drunk?
I might have been.
Maybe.
Okay.
So he's heard a talk about what she's dating.
Seems likely.
Two bears went, okay, with that cigarette.
And he's like, can I have your permission
to talk about this?
Like, you're dead.
You already outed me.
I already texted you.
My parents didn't know I was gay.
You outed me.
He's the first to say, oh, I was just saying that.
But he forgot.
Yeah, I know.
Right.
So he's talking about things that he said until it's like,
you said this.
I did.
No idea.
All right.
This is where it gets really super boring.
And I do have to give Burke credit because eventually he figures out
that he's not having a conversation with his friend, he's doing a show. This is a podcast.
It dawns on him. He finally dawns on it here. Take some a minute, but he finally figures it out.
Yeah.
In Angel No.
Lisa at Mosaic.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That's great.
The agency.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I really love my manager's and agents. They're all, I feel like they're all
not just great at their job, but great people too, which is not always the case in this business.
Who's the big owner of a mistake? Is that Jimmy? I don't know. I know, I want to never mind,
never mind. This stupid knowing you as a fuck about our air managers. The fuck wrong me. Sometimes
I forget I want to podcast. I'm like What percentage of you in your manager?
You say a lot of people are dropping down to 5% the you know that for real though. Oh yeah a lot of people
I just had to call someone and I was like I
I wouldn't do that. Yeah
All right, so he recognized you that really goes right back into me. Yeah, yeah
I mean, I'm kind of interested to know who his manager is so I can make sure that I never use that person
They make bad decisions is what I'm saying. interested to know who his manager is, so I can make sure that I never use that person. They make bad decisions, is what I'm saying.
I don't know.
If you're a birch manager, I'd be like,
I got an untalented asshole, $100 million.
All right.
Over three years.
That actually you know, you're a guy.
I mentioned it, I'm wrong about that.
They're the best manager ever.
My first meeting with them, they're like,
Carl, what if you took your shirt off?
You were a sh-
Yeah. I'm listening, I'm writing it. They're like, Carl, what if you took your shirt off? You're gonna shoot.
Yeah.
So they got right into it.
The British or the British are already in town.
The feet picks are very popular, Carl.
I want to talk about your feet lately.
That's funny.
All right, so now they talk about something interesting.
Lucy's gonna wake up now because they're talking about Adriana
Chekik.
You know what that is? Oh,. You know that is. Oh, she
does that. That is. I know who it is. She is a very attractive porn star. And she was
recently on two bears, one cave with Bert. And so Bert talking about hot cheese and he's
like, I had no notes for that. That was his compliment for Adriana. And so now Kelsey's going to explain why she's
so good at her job. And I don't think Kelsey can even believe us.
I think she's and I don't know her of course, but it's like I think she seems to genuinely
enjoy having sex. I think she does. I definitely think she does.
Wait, a woman who enjoys having sex was that like, I've never met one of you guys.
I never had to run across the low to enjoy sex. So wait, no crying at all.
Is that what you're saying? We're not going to. Cool. Yeah.
You can hear what you saying and everything.
I just thought that was so funny. She had this epiphany. I think this
chick likes getting railed. I don't know. I could be wrong. But red purchase like, yeah,
I agree. I think maybe that's true. I certainly hope so.
It's almost as if somebody who's good at sex makes a woman enjoy it. Yeah. He's not
familiar with that. What neither was I. So yeah, we all just agreed on that. Everybody here but me.
So thank you. I'm glad you finally died to my droppin. Alright, so uh,
Bert though, you'll be shocked to know would enjoy probably having sex with her.
I mean, she uh, definitely I think enjoys it. I've heard stories over but I would enjoy it.
Like if I could just be like if if I in a parallel universe everyone was like you got to have sex with Bert
I think I'd be very happy
It was a supper debate. Yeah
Even the universe or all the porn stars had a fuck me. I'd like that
Okay, yeah his wife's like great show today
Well, it's funny you bring up his wife because that's where Kelsey went too.
Kelsey goes, well, you know,
what did you think, what did your wife think about the fact
that she's on the show with you
and first Bert says that his wife doesn't watch the show
has no idea what's going on,
wouldn't have any clue about it whatsoever.
But then he goes on to tell a story that makes the first point he
makes seem like a lie and I'm not sure what to believe.
I have to, can I ask if you're, if like, lean, I don't know if Christian and Tom talked
about this, but do they get uncomfortable with you guys having Adriana on and like that
level of conversation of like, who do you think you'd fall in love with or like if you had to fuck one of us
does that make them uncomfortable or do they just are they kind of like well
she's Adriana Chechik.
Hopefully it doesn't know what Adriana Chechik is.
Oh okay.
She has no fucking glucious no idea that she was on the podcast she'll never listen.
It's interesting.
And if she heard it she'd be like oh whatever.
We did ask her actually Adriana asked it let's say the time I could fuck her together. and it's interesting. And if she heard it, she'd be like, oh, whatever.
We did ask her, actually, Adriana asked it,
said that Tom and I could fuck her together.
And so we ran it by our own line.
She said that?
She said that, we could run a train on her.
Yeah.
Oh my God, what a wild life.
And Tom and I were like, we're definitely gonna have.
Because if there's a loophole where they're like,
yeah, yeah, yeah, do it.
But you know, you guys can't high five,
then we'll be like, okay, we'll do that.
And so we had three scenarios.
The first one was, can we have sex with her?
And they were immediately both of them like, no.
And we're like, can we have sex with her with strap-ons
and it not be us?
And they're like, absolutely not.
And I go, what if we are not facing it
with the strap-ons backwards and its tails?
Can we do it? And we don't get to see it.
And they're like, no, there's no fucking way. And then Tom's like, hold on, strap on.
What are we gonna do? What about our dicks? I go, Tom, we're gonna be jerking off furiously.
Staring at each other and the eyes going, I'm so glad we started this podcast.
So wait, first he says this is my fist, no idea.
It doesn't pay attention to Joe.
Then there's a whole conversation with her
about fucking this porn stuff.
No, I'm sure it's a real conversation that he had.
She didn't listen to the show.
He just asked her if he could do that.
Right, and that must be Tom Segura's idea,
the reverse backside dildone.
Why'd he say that?
Cause it's actually funny.
He never be very naive.
I was gonna say no, that was almost a joke.
All right, good point.
Here's what you're missing.
If you're not watching Two Bears 1 Cave,
another show that we've reviewed on WTPA.
Are you ever checking that show out?
Yes, I have.
It's pretty fascinating.
We got to see them try to name all the presidents.
We got to see Bert talk with peanut butter in his mouth.
But I missed this episode. I'm sorry
Tom and I both had our cocks shocked on a live stream one time. Oh my god. Yeah, yeah
We were both tethered by our penises to an electric fraud and dominatrix gimp was electric look through our dicks and so I
Think anything just anything just south of that she's cool with
South of that she's cool with. South of that.
What the fuck?
All right.
That's actually interesting to him.
I mean, I actually, you know, it's good to see Bert getting by with his wit.
Yeah, right.
And white's cool with his genitals getting tortured.
Not pleasure.
We all are.
Yeah.
Right.
All right.
I have one more clip from this.
And this is funny because Bert talks about wanting to have a sex tape not pleasure. We all are. Yeah. All right. I have one more clip from this.
And this is funny because Bert talks about wanting to have a sex tape with his wife get
out under certain circumstances and watch him get lost and thought after he says this.
It's very funny to me.
I definitely, I wanted so bad to do a Bert and Leanne sex tape, but deep fake our faces on other people's bodies.
Oh my god.
If anyone could do that, I would really love that.
I'm sure.
How great would that be?
Did, uh, see, was he picturing how big his cock
could be on the other guy's body?
His wife would be.
I thought it was gonna go like this.
Yeah, the kids and roots was like, uh, yeah, he physically was looking over Yonder.
To say,
I'm just fucking ponderous man.
Ponderous, fucking ponderous.
So Bert Cass is still going strong and, uh, I can't believe it.
I really can't. He just gets bigger and bigger.
I just did a review.
He was on fly on the wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade
and talking about selling out shows in Europe and Australia
and it's just all these podcast fans who find them
and wanna go see them do comedians.
Incredible.
It's fucking insane.
It's fucking insane.
I don't get it at all.
Well, this is what I don't understand.
If you're even semi-fond of your fat,
why don't you have a podcast?
Like everyone out there should just start doing a YouTube show
because really, this is what it leads to.
Yeah, I'm both.
Well, there you go.
If you're a WATP listener and you also like
Bert Caster, two bears, please leave a voicemail
about what it is that made you like this guy,
because we certainly don't understand it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I need somebody that's a fan to justify this.
You think someone that Dom is gonna be able to explain it
to us and look at that?
Oh, no, I get it.
A Burt Kreyscher fan is so dumb
they don't know how to work a phone to call the voicemail line.
You could be right about that.
I think it's the no shirt.
Yeah.
People like that.
We found a fan.
We found a fan everyone.
I admit to nothing.
All right.
Um, Trucker Andy.
Oh, hello.
You picked a show that we covered back on January 1st, 2017.
This is going back a ways.
Right, because you said,
I remember this show.
Anything from the last 400 episodes.
Right.
The last 399.
And I was really, I went all the way,
I scrolled all the way down to the first one
and I just started going through and I landed on step by step
and I was like, wow, that was a fucking bad one.
Like, they got mad that you reviewed them.
The show is a Hollywood handbook, rip off kind of show.
It's that sort of like, everything is a premise
and there's no punchlines and really sarcastic.
And when I thought about doing this, I was like,
it's too, I want to do a best of the worst.
Yeah. Not the worst of the worst. Of course. So it's too, I want to do a best of the worst.
Not the worst of the worst.
Of course.
So I almost said, I'm not gonna do this
because it's too stupid and bad.
It's too bad, okay.
But upon looking at, this is, show is now defunct,
which is not a surprise to anybody.
No.
But it still exists in like three episodes on SoundCloud.
Okay.
And what we're gonna listen to right now
is one of these episodes where they decided for some reason
this was worth keeping around.
It is the Creed musical episode.
Yes.
Are you aware of this?
Is it a Thanksgiving musical?
Okay, because there was a Creed Thanksgiving musical
that we covered on the video.
Oh my God, okay.
Can we talk about the promise of the show real quick?
Sure, I mean, I'm gonna get into it. Okay, yeah, I'll let you get into it. I'll just say this because I thought it cover it. Oh my God, okay. Can we talk about the promise of the show real quick? Sure, I mean, I'm gonna get into it.
Okay, yeah, then I want you to get into it.
I'll just say this because I thought it was funny.
I think it was the Hollywood Handbook show that we did
where they have a pretty big sub-reddit
and they got real butt hurt about us making fun of them.
Yeah, because the improv is so stupid.
You just say the dumbest thing possible
and everyone laughs, oh, that's hilarious.
Yeah.
And so we goofed on that and everyone was like,
oh, these guys just don't get it, these boomers. And one of the people in the comments goes yeah, they made fun of my show and they weren't fair to us either
So I was like what's your show is except by stab like off-course?
And then the guy explained it in the the subreddit thread what his show was the other guy was like that sounds pretty cool
A lot of sides, but... Okay.
Well, anyway, let's get into this.
This is an episode clip one.
What crazy.
Please continue.
All right.
So episode one, they're gonna set up the premise
for what this is.
And it basically, it is Scottstap
inventing the band, you know, in a musical format.
Okay.
Well, here we are just sitting around me, Scott's tap, and my roommate, Tommy Jangoes.
Man, I'm so bored.
I wish there were something to do.
Hey, Tommy, do you ever feel like you just want to start, I don't know, singing?
Hmm. I guess I never really thought about it. By the way, what's...
Oh no. Oh god.
We just point what singing is. Right, yeah. So everything is a stupid fucking premise with improv comedy, right?
It's like, what if a awkward man was an ad desert?
I think you know, a little something. Oh my goodness. What if my dad...
What if my dad... Yeah, thirsty!
What if my dad, thirsty?
Yeah.
What if my dad loved me?
All right.
So if I got attention as a giant.
Yes.
Sternshire.
I'm just going to read the, what they wrote as a description of the episode here.
It says Chris and Rob, who are the hosts, perform selections from their new musical about
legendary band Creed
and its formation in the early 90s. These amazing original songs, like the opening number,
What's Singing? We'll be bouncing around in your head for weeks.
All right, let's see if this is bouncing around in your head for weeks and clip 2. By the way, what singing?
Well, I could tell you, or better yet I could show you, with a song.
Websters defines singing as uttering words or sounds.
In succession with musical modulations of the voice,
there's all different types of singers like Annie Lennox or Lou
Rawls. You can do it too. If you've got the guts.
What do you think about that Eric? Is it what?
Getting your head for weeks. I wanted that last word to be balls instead of
guts. What a fucking rhymed. Oh, I'm not the joke there. Right. That's balls instead of guts. What a fucking rhyme.
That's the joke there.
That's their idea of humor.
It's like dodging the thing that makes sense
and doing something that sucks instead.
And what I hate about this is that it's both tri-hardy
and lazy at the same time.
How can it be both?
How can it be trying so hard?
Hey, heart ever written a song where the melody goes up
just like this, it goes down to that,
it goes back up and then it's up some more,
then it's back down.
Pretty good stuff, guys.
What is singing?
In this case, it's the death of one man's dignity,
but it goes on to, they're not just going to
read what a webster's defined singing as.
Oh good.
They're also going to tell you what music is.
Let's clip three.
This is very linear, Carl.
Just clip one, two, three in order.
Gotcha.
All right.
You can stop saying the number is that.
I got you.
Yeah.
And there's all different types of music, too.
Really?
Like what?
Well, you've got rock and roll,
then I'll turn to the rock and hard rock
and post-crunch and Christian rock
and religious hymns about my Lord and Savior.
Jesus Christ, you know He died for our sins
and it's seated at the right hand of the Father.
And He's coming back for His final judgment
on all of mankind and we're all gonna die. So let's start a band. I want to start a band and we should call that bed
Creed
I just better than Creed
And it does explain a lot about creed right I wonder if these guys are Bert Kreischer fans because they're just listing things
Right, that's what bird does yeah
This is I like how the first three things were all rock music.
That was really fun.
Yeah, it's good stuff.
It's modern comedy.
List, because when people think of funny,
they think of reading the phone book.
Oh, yeah, that's great.
That's what that might go.
I like old comedy.
It's my close.
It's my close.
It's my closer reading the white page.
It's great.
Oh, I feel a lot of it.
It's so fucking dumb.
All right, so that's the end of the first one.
There's three songs in this episode.
Okay.
And a lot of it is intercut with them explaining like,
obviously a step-by-step episode of how whatever
Cody and Dana are Romeo and Juliet.
It's fucking all awful and I left that all out.
That's the part that you need to remind me about.
Yeah.
Because it's step-by-step and they based on step-by-step episodes. All right, that yeah, let's stop. That's the part that you need to remind me about. Because it's step by step, and they based on step by step episodes.
Correct.
All right.
Yeah, let's stop.
I forgot.
Right, let's remind the listeners that this show, I don't know how they did more.
This is like episode 49 or something like this.
And the whole concept of the show was they are trying to make the lyrics of Creed relate
to the 80s sitcom, Step by Step, with Suzanne Summers.
And it's kind of like a Brady Bunch sitcom
that nobody remembers.
Right.
And being the inspiration for a band that nobody likes.
So two things nobody likes or cares about.
Good point. Yeah. I don't know what a Creed size, I've never seen the Step by likes. So two things nobody likes their cares about. Good point.
Yeah, I don't know a lot of creed size.
I've never seen stuff by stuff.
So here we go.
Oh yeah, let's do a podcast about it.
Yeah, okay.
It's just the worst idea anybody ever came up with.
So now in this clip four, they're going to pivot
into slow jams.
We're gonna.
What if it was Eddie Veteran family matters?
Yes, we're gonna be slightly better. Just say it, Eddie veteran family matters? Be slightly better.
Just say it right then now producer.
W-80p seems to be dying off. I got to get some new ideas over here.
Your way ahead of me, Carl.
I'm starting to step down one of my jokes.
Anyway, we're going to, we're going to,
I miss when you say the piece of paper you'd cross it out with.
I know. Yeah. I've stepped into the current year instead of bringing my diary to the show.
Eric, anyway, we're going to make it real sexy right now.
Okay, good.
Going to a slow jam.
What's the matter, Scott?
You look a little depressed.
Depressed?
More like I'm in a general state of unhappiness and despotency,
aka dejected or downcast.
Sorry, man. You want to talk about it?
No.
Okay.
But I do want to sing about it.
Oh!
I love my hard rock music.
It makes me feel so hard
don't kill yourself very high
it's gonna get better I swear to god
okay I lied when I said it was gonna be sexy but this is the other thing
that they're they're just not good at this. There's a lot of things that rhyme with hard, right?
We can all go around the table and name them, but they can't even do that right.
Okay. voice that also makes me feel hard
but I just can't conceive of
a subject for my songs I'm gonna go to the next one.
I'm gonna go to the next one.
I'm gonna go to the next one.
I'm gonna go to the next one. which would be full house of pain. Yeah, I mean, everything feels wrong.
It's like figuring your cousin and all your cousins are guys.
I'm gonna say what's the problem?
Okay, now I get it.
All right.
And all your cousins are guys.
And just by luck.
Find me a hot cousin surprise
All right, so that is I'm against I
Think I hope this is the last clip of this song the song is just so fucking bad
They land on this is where they land on the premise for the uh... the podcast
if only there was a
sick
that made me want to see
that i could write
a hundred songs about this one single thing
It's so fucking
I mean, listenable. I don't know who is listening to this nobody. Join it. Nobody was. Yeah, that's why they don't do it
I think that's why I wanna yeah, it did give me an idea for some new buzz my or something. Oh, okay cool songs like did't do that? I think that's why I wanna win. Yeah. It did give me an idea for some new Buzz Myers. Oh, okay, cool.
Songs like, did I do that?
Oh!
And Carl wins the Loans of Fat Stupid Cup.
I have some new songs.
They're gonna bring to practice tomorrow, Carl.
Sounds fun.
Get away.
All right, let's see.
We read for the third song yet.
Oh God, you know what, that song is just so bad.
I'm gonna skip the last clip.
And we're gonna jump right to eight.
This is where, so it's been this one guy who,
a Chris, I think, has been just embarrassing himself
for this whole episode.
The other dude, Rob, Chris is like,
I can't be the only one humiliating myself
for the sake of the show.
You have to write a song.
So, Rob does, I mean, what we've listened to so far
is inexcusably bad.
It's so fucking bad, but somehow this guy figures out a way
to go, to ratchet it up to like the worst possible thing
that anybody could do on a podcast, clip eight.
Well, that about does it.
The last Creed song is written. This should be
about four or five albums worth plus ample material for my eventual solo career
and side projects. I just can't believe how many songs you've written five
minutes. There must be hundreds here. What can I say? When you have a muse like
step-by-step, the lyrics just flow. You You really inspired me Scott so much so.
I just wrote a song on my own.
Really? Just now?
Yup.
What kind of hard rock is it?
It's something called hip hop and I'm pretty sure I invented it.
You ready? I guess so.
Ready for some fantastic white guy rapping?
Who invited Andy?
It's a better than Master K.
Are you saying this isn't bad?
I thought we were doing the worst songs.
The worst shows.
This show is fucking terrible.
This is really bad.
But this song is gonna make snakes in the grass look like straight out of Compton.
It's so fucking dumb.
Hit it! Korea on the greatest show of the 90s. It all starts with the woman
And the man don't forget about the kids in the clan
Patrick Duffy
Suzanne Summers. She's in the salon passing out hummus mind of a old
She's just give it brain. She's made western but she ain't no playing G
It's just I you know the way man. We'll go ahead Eric. Hey Patrick Duffy
Suzanne Summers something something given out hummers. You don't love that?
It works.
So I can't tell if they're I feel I have like cold sweat, you know, I feel like I'm comfortable.-y. Yeah. Skies are making me feel so bad about breaking this.
You've seen those death by cringe memes.
Yeah.
This is like a holocaust.
I see a lot of them this week.
Yeah, it's a holocaust.
You put a coincidence.
Oh yeah, I'm aware of those, Andy.
Whoops.
Stop sending them to us, Jesus.
Yes, all.
Yeah, but if you're listening to this,
you're gonna die in three days like the ring.
Cause this is like the Holocaust of Christmas.
Oh, no.
Oh, God.
I don't actually have looking forward to that.
Yeah, we've had enough.
All right, let's clip.
They got to get to the hook, right?
The hook brings you back.
This isn't your worm that you're,
that's gonna be stuck in your head for two weeks, Eric. Don't bore us, get to the hook, right? The hook brings you back. This isn't your worm that's going to be stuck in your head for two weeks, Eric.
Don't bore us. Get to the chorus.
Scotty Scotty Scotty, can't you see?
I just love your window.
Hope this band there for Brexit.
Rachel, close if you know,
but Scotty Scotty Scotty, can't you see?
I just love your band there.
Hope this band there for Brexit. my jaw head if you're in
no
But see I get way Patrick Michael embarrasses himself. There's no
What else there to say? Yeah, don't put that out right either two guys you're just like
Yeah, yeah, put on the internet. I don't have
It's I dare you
Yeah, she's can you believe the show went away? Whoops.
I don't know.
I just, I think I'm justified in bringing that out of the,
out of the 400 episodes.
Easily one of the worst.
Easily one of the worst because it combines a lot of
different elements.
You got Scott Stapp, terrible, improv comedy, the worst.
These guys think they're talented and they're like
theater kids.
Fucking theater kids.
We even run into that a lot lately.
Yeah.
Hope we don't run into a gang of them.
Theater kids.
Quick.
This is the week's.
Rural.
All right.
We saved the best for last.
Eric's saying.
Oh, come on.
Eric's saying, my friend.
You have brought a show that we first talked about,
and last talked about probably,
on October 25th, 2020,
we are talking about a terrestrial radio show
that I believe Eric used to be a part of.
Freebeard Hotwigs.
Yeah.
Coming back to the show.
What do you got for us, buddy?
Okay. First of all, thank you for not having my show for either of your shows right here
right now. We got the brand new air exchange show. Oh my God. So thank you for that. And thank you
for having me. And full full disclosure like Carl said I used
to work for the show for many, many years and some who would be seeing this live or hearing
it would ever might say that, you know, sour grapes.
I've got I've got a van data and you'd be right.
I was going to say this.
That's that's all.
That's yeah, that's that's all. Absolutely. That's, yeah, that's, that's all.
Absolutely.
What's driving this and, you know,
radio guy doing a Joel Jacktober segment,
it makes, it makes sense.
Well, also, I like the fact that you're like,
what the, be the bigger person?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My motto is, if anyone goes low, I'm going lower.
And I was perfect.
Perfect.
So I'd like to look at this as not only that,
but also a critique because I am going to,
I'm going to try to be as hurtful as possible. But at the same time, there's a lot of things that
I'm actually doing as like from almost a program directors or how how to make it less clumsy
because it sounds like fuck. Yeah, one of those deals. So not a good way to start the meeting with
your PD right there. Oh, your show sounds like fuck, so we're going to try to get less quality.
Full disclosure, this show has heard all around the country.
There have endless resources with money.
They've increased their listenership.
They are everything they touch turns to gold.
How many markets are there, Eric?
Do you know roughly? I think they're
on like over 50 radio stations. They're in markets like Las Vegas, Nashville, Tennessee,
New Jersey. New Jersey. Well, New Jersey. New Jersey. Yeah. Well, actually, it's a pretty
large market. It's a top 50. I mean, it's Jersey. So unbelievably popular. It is, you guys know. So, you know, it's, it's, it's significant. Yeah. And also when Stern left and Opie and
Anthony, there's no shows.
What happened to Anthony? Right.
I want to show. Well, it's all the car.
Carmel bad news. We want to tell you later. What's this Twitter thing? All right.
They've actually been one of the few shows that have been taken over for Stern and kept
the stations. You know, I mean, it's, it's remarkable. So, but let's get in. That's enough
compliments. Let's get into just the very first thing you would hear if you're listening
to the show because they do a lot of, I spent a lot of time because they have a lot of
time to kill doing intros and rejoining the show with a lot of music
where they'll play an old clip from an old show
and that takes up time.
And it's supposed to be like funny
and highlighting a great moment from the show.
This is how the show starts.
And this is a perfect example of one uping on the jokes,
which is kind of a bad habit, in
my opinion.
It starts because of a term to put makeup on.
I guess it's called farting, F-A-R-D-I-N-G, which I did not know that.
So, never heard of that.
I remember that.
Yeah, I had to look it up too, but I guess that that actually is true.
If you're farting is applying makeup, which we've ever heard of that.
But so they talk about that and that clip number one
to be true.
Hold on, one second.
It kind of sounds like, hold on.
It kind of sounds like farting, like with a D,
which is really funny.
I wonder if they make that same connection I just made.
Wow.
I just came up with that myself, guys.
I mean, we didn't rehearse this right there. That's why you're mr. 400
I'm sorry. I can't bring it to interrupting play it. One. Yep
Putting makeup on your face is called farting
Hmm, you guys fired all over your face
Hey you guys fired all over your face
Never that time you guys farted on our faces. Yeah, yeah
My face I farted on my face
I don't think you said it funny enough I'm gonna say it though. I don't care what the generous of that shooter. I don't think you said it funny enough. I'm going to say it though. I don't care what the gender is of that shooter.
I applaud that for you.
This show is Greg Freiber Daniels, Chris Hotwings Michaels, Steve from the Stephen Kyle
podcast that you reviewed once before.
Yes.
Correct.
Young lady named Kelly and a young lady named Matlin.
Five people.
Did our friend from the show, he's not on there anymore, right?
Correct.
Things got a little weird.
Smirking, smut away.
So farting, if that does mean putting on makeup, I doubt that that would also be used
like, yeah, I'll fart on your face.
Like that's gotta be made up.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to desperate.
And I was like, yeah, I'm sorry desperate. I actually grab my makeup bag over here.
Radial socks. Okay. Now, one of the, one of my gripes about this show is they don't do
the two things that you have to do to succeed. And that, this is the radio side of me coming
in. A conflict between each other doesn't happen and or talking about interesting topics
and stating your point. So all that's out of the window. They're not going to talk about
anything actually going on in the world. So what do you have left? Reddit. So they're
constantly going over Reddit and they're burning that. that to the radio. So in this cut too, this is just kind of like, this is the very first thing they do, setting
up their topic.
There's nothing funny about this.
Let's just give you an idea of how they're setting it up.
Yep.
They should have every right to go.
Get your ass out of here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
So the Daily Mail stole this from Reddit.
I don't know if Reddit stole it, but it's a great thought.
What is a subtle sign that someone is rich, even though they don't flaunt it? Okay, got it. Okay. So out of the blue, hey, you have
to kind of put on your thinking cap and come up with something that's, I don't know,
which to me, it just doesn't sound that interesting. Yeah. When you, when you, when you,
four segments, well, they did, they did., typically when you do things like this and you want like some music to enhance it,
you put it under a song related to money, but that's not how they do it.
Cut three.
Listen to how clumsy this is.
They should have every right to go.
Get your ass out of here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
So the Daily Mail stole this from Reddit.
I don't know if Reddit stole it, but it's a great thought.
What is a subtle sign that someone is rich rich even though they don't flaunt it? Oh, it's so awesome. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, wow. Is that Luther's hand?
This is Callaway.
Callaway.
Callaway had a couple of little hits.
OK, so that's it.
Now, this can, this continues.
OK, they're trying to move on, but they
decided to play another song that references wealth.
Number five, little hits. Yeah yeah I was torn between this and I had one other
song that I wanted to play to I still have it Yeah, you know that was always. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Ah. You can rely on the old man's money.
You can rely on the old man's money.
It's a bitch girl.
But it's on too bad, cause you know it.
Don't matter anyway.
Okay.
This one of my.
So that's, that's how this show is.
I did a stuck it out.
Oh, that's how you shit right there.
Stuck in 1984, is that what it is? Right. Pretty good stuff.
Now guys, I did a, I did an alternate reality free beer song setups.
That would be cut number six. All right. Hey, everybody. Free beer here.
Let's talk suicide prevention. Free beer here. Let's talk about when you lost your virginity.
It feels like the first time.
Let's talk about the first time you suck dick.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
All right, I like this show.
Yeah.
I'm subscribing.
Yeah.
All right.
I like it.
Now, my morning commute. This went on for about 25 minutes.
Yep. With people calling it.
I was just saying, I knew there was a car segment.
Yeah. Yeah.
So they always agree with every color.
Never once the color color. They're like, I don't think that's a good one.
No, that's not. There's a whoa. Yeah, he's right. He's right.
Right. That's right. And it's all like that.
So rather than bore you with the details,
I took the 20 minute bit
and I edited it down to 20 seconds
in my cut number seven.
Okay.
Families that go on ski trips.
Yeah.
Anyone who goes sailing.
I would say anybody who puts in a new in-ground pool.
Yeah.
People who do dry cleaning for everything.
Yeah.
White pants.
Yeah. Having a sailboat.
Leasing a car.
A perfect smile and brilliantly white teeth.
Golf like two or three times a week.
Jesus Christ.
I have to ask, was the laugh?
Were you editing that in or is it just the same every time?
No.
It was the same.
Shut the fuck off.
No, you're kidding, right?
Yes, yes you asshole.
I like it leasing a car is what rich people do.
Sure.
Yeah, why not?
Everybody hates joke tagging. The one guy hot wings.
He has a decent joke. Okay. They have a caller on the line who's going to play a trivia
game. She says, I work for the government, state of New York. And Greg says, Fribre says,
what do you do? And she says, I'd rather not say. And hot wings says she fleeces the orphanage
or something like that.
Just a little five cent joke.
The other guy free beer then, hey, I got a tag, the fuck out of this one.
So this is cut number eight.
Um, I don't know if I know what to tell us.
I don't know.
Okay, don't talk about it then.
Don't tell us.
If you're not sure, the choice is don't.
Okay, you shake down orphanages.
All right, fine.
I'm the one that makes your poor kids
can eat school lunches.
That's my job.
Get some parents who are deadbeats poor kids.
Knock the milks out of their hands.
Or maybe here.
Sorry, Rufus Soule, you're not eating smash.
Well, at least no one gave him anything.
I need those days.
I appreciate that.
There's a lot of that.
Did you hear the squeaky voice?
Oh, free beer.
That's going to come back later on.
That's Kelly from what I never met her, but from what I understand very, very nice.
But that's going to put a pin in that, guys.
All right.
Okay. Cut 9 is more joke tagging about what we just heard.
When I hear these shows and I hear a guy tagging jokes
and no one's giving him anything,
I just assume they're all just staring at him.
I'm like, what are you doing?
Or they left the room over there.
Well, they're gone.
I mean, considering that I was in that room for a long time,
that's what I used to do.
I just stare at him like, you know, I want to fucking murder you.
I want you to die right now.
Eric's like, I just got 300 level on Candy Crush.
Ha ha ha.
Is that about right?
That's what I'm assuming.
Anyway, Bobby Joe, tell Hot Wings to beat it.
Okay, get out of here.
That's the same way she says it.
To poor Amy Thomas, whose parents just split up and left
her penniless whilst she holds a tray of broken mush.
How the fuck was that?
I don't know.
He's going on about the bit about she's fleecing kids at school or some shit.
I don't know.
You know, I have to say this reminds me a little bit of Dave and Chuck DeFrieck
in that it's a morning show that doesn't talk about
anything that's going on in reality.
There's no actual news stories they're talking about,
no sports, obviously they're in different markets
so it's not weather or drive, traffic, anything like that.
So instead of the outcome with like these ridiculous,
I'm sure they come from a service somewhere
where I was like, serve a reason survey showed that 87% of adults never mastermate with a boy.
You're like, yeah, he gives a shit.
It's funny. You say that because in Las Vegas, David and Chuck, the freak are the morning show
that they are the afternoon show show. Of course.
So, because you want to learn nothing all day, yeah. Right.
Hey, everybody. Please ignore the fact that there's a school shooter.
And at the school here, drive your kids to right now.
I'm just gonna say you'll never hear about it on this show.
Do you have to be a coworker, though?
Like, do you hear the news about the school?
Sure. No, but I did hear the 28% of adults think that
that.
Pro sick.
I didn't hear that.
Okay.
Uh, I'm my cut number 12 free beer.
Tease is a bit that is going to come up at the end of the last thing they do.
It's the big moment.
So he's teasing that.
Here's the start of the tease and cut number 12.
We have a topic coming up in the final hour today that I am excited for because I think
it's going to be some of the most fun we'll
ever have.
Wow.
Whoa.
Now, you picked the right episode, Eric.
Don't threaten me with the game right now.
What are the chances?
Now, there was a time that we sent our stunt boy to Pamplona and he actually ran with
the bulls.
And he had, he was GoPro and there was actually a moment when a bowl actually in the ring,
there's video of him getting flung in the air.
It was incredible.
It was a great, great moment.
So this must be outstanding if you're going to say that.
I mean, holy shit.
Cut number 13, he reveals the big bit, guys.
It's inspired by a couple of news stories where citizens are saying, I don't like that
noise.
And we're going to ask you, I don't like that noise.
We're gonna ask you, what is the noise that drives you crazy,
but you can only tell us by doing the impression.
That's a terrible idea for a radio bit.
Hey, what's somebody's really annoying,
do an impression of it.
That's a terrible idea.
At least it's not show me a picture of it on the radio.
That was it worse.
Yeah, there was a lot of people going, yeah, and so it went, rar, rar, and then they go,
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, of course they do.
It's like a mechanic going, uh, to describe what your car sounds like.
Right.
Guys, um, here's another example of one of those rejoins.
The commercials and the music starts.
They play a clip that is outrageous. It is cut number 14
starting right now. The guys promise not to make fun of anyone anymore. I have pepperoni nipples
and I know all my husband's friends know about it because they say weird things. Do they look
like fresh pepperoni or that one that's off the edge of the pizza that burns and gets real crispy and weird.
Yeah, it's so good, but I don't want to stare at it.
Or the cheap pepperoni that shrink into little bowls when you cook up.
Oh, yeah.
And are your nipples filled with pizza grease?
Right.
Now back to the free beer and hot wings show.
I was home for two more pepperoni jams.
Yeah, it's with you.
It's great.
I don't think the show is for everyone, man. It's a little too spicy. Yeah, it's a Brody spicy spicy
I
Did an alternate rejoin of how I think that that should sound on cut number 15. Okay cool
Starting right now the guys promise not to make fun of anyone anymore. Alright, we got an email here from Kayla.
She writes, my husband says,
my vagina looks like roast beef.
Now, are we talking to our beef roast beef?
Maybe a beef and cheddar.
Perhaps something you get inside of the beef carver.
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe over at the grocery store, you're making it.
Oh, I love that kind of roast beef. Wow. I don't know, maybe over the grocery store, you make it at home. That cat rules people out.
This is outrageous.
Wow, we really 400 is our most controversial episode.
Yeah, it's only crazy little blue.
Yeah, wow.
Let's see, I got, I don't want to, I actually have so much.
I'm going to end up throwing some away, but that's okay, isn't it?
I mean, otherwise I could do this like four hours. I'd rather you did. I'm gonna end up throwing some away, but that's okay, isn't it? I mean, otherwise I could do this for like four hours.
I'd rather you did.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding, Eric.
I'm enjoying it.
Keep going.
They did a segment called Facts.
Hey, we got some, we want you to call us up
with a fact that will blow our mind.
Some people call that a fun fact.
I believe.
That's a good idea.
They actually said that at one point in this.
Yeah. Let's see. Audience gives a fact. I wrote, I'm writing down my notes, or reading my notes on
16. Audience gives a fact comedy after cut number 16. Jordan joins us. Hello, Jordan. What is the
fact that we're going to go on? Good. Water does not conduct electricity.
Is it the impurities in water that do?
It is the minerals in the impurities in water.
If you remove everything from water, it becomes an insulator.
Wow, I didn't know that.
I would not have known that.
That's pretty well.
Thank you, Jordan.
That was a good one.
It's wild.
Yeah.
So if you really want to get one of your enemies
and throw some gold flakes into the water,
you'll really get them that.
Yeah.
What?
What?
What?
What?
I did.
OK.
Now, if I didn't add that clip of the laughing kid,
can you feel that?
Can you feel that ickyness on you?
Yes.
I'm a great guy who thought
that there was like, Oh, I got a fun fact for these guys. I'm going to love this.
Right. The reason the reason why they abandoned the bit because they were all like that.
Cut number 17. Jason in Appleton, Wisconsin, Ella Jason, give us a fact that will blow
our mind. So in 1895, there were two cars in Ohio.
That's it.
And they happen to get into an accident where you drive.
Two cars and they smashed into the engine.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
That is, that's sad.
Thank you Jason.
That's sad.
That's it.
That's it.
That hurts.
Go out to the families.
You believe that shit?
The worst part is there's no ambulance. I gave it to the hospital. Oh, I think I'm out of the families. You believe that shit? The worst part is there's no ambulance to get
into the hospital. Oh, I think I'm in some pain.
Oh, yeah, some dork explains that if a quarter in a feather in a vacuum, they fall in the same
rain. So interesting. This was a to segment, a bid. It took 45 minutes to get through all of this. So we got to give you
some more facts. Cut number 18 guys. Rick listening and Lansing on WMMQ. What do you
got Rick? Lake Superior holds as much water as the other four great lakes combined, plus
three more lake areas. Holy
moly. I mean, I know it's
a lot of fresh water deep.
That is a lot of fresh water.
Deep and send some of that to
the west. Well, I don't really
want to, but no offense to the
west, but it's going to probably
going to need to happen someday.
Thank you, Rick.
It's a good facts. Yeah.
There's still alive there, Rick. Wow, all of a good, yeah. I still alive there Rick.
Wow, all of that space where they're all looking at each other like weaning in the butt.
Oh, what do we do?
I can only imagine this guy getting home from work.
How was your day today?
I don't want a fucking talk about it.
All right, I'm taller to tell us how much water there is.
It likes a period.
I'm gonna murder everyone. Just give me two hours. All right. Now this next
clip is probably my favorite. Oh boy. Because the guy that is talking is the free beer.
And I legitimately want to fight this guy. Okay. So when I hear this weirdness, I'm like,
you don't even know how much of a fucking idiot you sound like. And
it warms my heart, okay? So he got remarried. He got divorced and remarried. And it was
a big shock when the divorce happened. But then very quickly, he announced, I've got a
girlfriend. And he's like, he's like 53 years old. And she's like 30, one of those ones,
you know?
Nice.
And so instantly he's got three kids and the chicks got three kids, now they got six kids.
And it's just madness.
Is there a terrible song about it?
Yeah.
For a step by step.
It's just like the Brady Bunch is also gay.
Right, right.
With AIDS.
But this freeemure character, yeah.
This freemure character is constantly saying things that complement the new wife, but are
giving the middle finger to the old wife.
I get that one.
I get that one.
That's so subtle.
Kind of interesting way.
I mean, I'm like, all right, all right. So this
is cut number in these clips at the start of every hour. They each audience person has
to say something, I'm free beer and they have to like, you have to get to know them.
We were talking about this on the Drew and Mike show last week. This is like a trend that's
going on where all these radio shows have to do with they, I'm doji and I, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Everyone has to introduce themselves and say what they do or say a fun fact about them
or something.
That is, I'm convinced.
True.
Yep.
The reason why this happens Eric is because of AI.
AI is going to take over radio.
Correct.
Correct.
It's already happening.
Yeah, so I think they're bragging like, hey, look, you can be a real person on the radio.
Whoa, this is crazy.
AI is mining content before they get rid of us.
No, for real, AI actually is tapped in.
So it'll know if there's a traffic accident or something,
it can break in between songs.
Yeah.
Hey, watch out for five didey at the can of worms.
Carl and Sarah Connor are gonna kill you on muscle tonight.
Possibly.
All right, cut 19, here you go.
This is awesome. I'm free beer, one of the hosts. tonight. Alright, cut 19. Here you go.
This is awesome.
I'm free beer one of the hosts and I hope this is, I mean, this is brag, but I hope
that when you find someone, you find someone that completes you like I did.
Someone who wants to have sex with you, someone who's smart, someone who's funny, someone
who's supportive.
That's what I have.
Wow, it's so passive and aggressive.
Out of the blue, you know.
I hope you can get rid of that loose left over roast beef sandwich and your friend
find a tight roast beef sandwich.
Hey, my name is Carl from R podcast and my acts as a cut.
It's a Chris.
Yes, your actions again.
No, you say a fun fact about my
act.
I support.
Freemer then follows that up by talking about something that the new wife did.
I guess new wife had, um, yeah, well, no, he, um, he, she had, um, bragged about being
able to make a certain basketball shot where her back is to the hoop and she can throw
it over her head and it goes in.
Well, she never made it.
And then, but finally finally she did make it. So what better thing to do than to play a video of what that sounded like on the radio.
Okay.
Yeah.
On the radio.
This is it cut 20 and yesterday after two and a half years of trying, she finally made
this shot that she told me she's good at Steve roll the footage
facing away from the basket at about the three-point line and looking back this magic
struck.
Swish.
There you go.
Can we hear that guy?
That was amazing.
Are you guys shocked by that?
He took the goddamn time to play ball bounce and a kid go yay. Yeah, why can't you just fucking tell it to no fanfare at all? It was just like yeah, okay, or just leave it out. Yeah, please. It's also not an impressive video
Considering the internet
I see better trick shots than that
All right guys. I've got another rejoin where, you know, coming out of commercials with the music, let's get pumped up.
And this is one that really shows, like, I don't know, kind of like the aggressive nature
of free beer and the funny off the wall things he says in cut number 22. a fancy idiot. Sign up at freebeerinhotwings.com. Oh God, I remember these bumpers. Did you hear that?
This happened like, no, I'm fine with that.
Oh no.
I'm in the way, it was, I'm the place where perverts put their ass.
I'm a comb salesman.
I'm a human glory hole. What are you talking about?
So I'm a little fancy idiot so you could sign up and give them money on their website and that gives you access to these hilarious jokes Anytime which which with the simple search is also available for free and Google podcast
I put that up last night when a friend of mine used to be on this show and I got yelled at for that.
Okay, girls, don't do that.
Yeah, go do do do do do do do joking.
Don't people they can get it for free.
It's takes.
I have an alternate reality of that same exact thing in my cut number 23 car.
Oh, Hallelujah.
You can catch up on the podcast anytime.
If you're a fancy idiot, sign up at freebeerandhotwings.com.
That was a good episode.
I do remember that.
It was texting all my friends.
You guys are going to be like, sign up at freebeerinhotwings.com. That was a good episode.
I do remember that.
It was texting all my friends.
You guys listening to this right now?
All right.
I have three super, uh, three supercuts.
Okay.
The first thing is this hot wings, fella.
When he's telling a story, he will chuckle at moments that aren't actually funny.
So if I were saying the words
that I said to you just now like him, it would be like, so he talks at words. Or hearted
funny. You'll like that. And I'm not exactly.
Exactly. Yeah. This is, uh, I call this Wings laugh talk on cut number 25.
My God, did I toss tons of logs in a period of time?
And say 90 foot cherry tree pay for this.
Getting to the thick part.
I need a bigger chain.
24 inches in diameter.
Discs and look and have them or something.
You're making a little table out of this.
Sounds kind of pointless.
See, this is a Stuttering John technique I've picked up on.
See what fun we're having?
Everybody's laughing.
So we must be having fun.
It's called the Chuckle Fuck Method.
Yes.
The Chuckle Fuck.
Very fucked up.
The nice lady who works, her name is Kelly.
She, if she's speaking normally, the voice sounds,
it's a raspy, smoker girl voice. You've heard those a million times. When she gets
any way animated, it gets this weird squeaky, I labeled it as airy squeak voice and that's the only way I can describe it cut number 24. That's always been Sam.
Yeah, I looked it up.
I was like, maybe here remember what?
Jesus haven't seen it.
It was a little noptious.
That's always been Sam.
Jesus.
I'll never get a boulder again.
That's a pre-cancerous emphysema.
Maybe, maybe that's the emphysema voice.
I like that.
The final thing I have is that same chick.
I haven't been able to win.
What's your point of conclusion?
Have we talked about this yet?
I don't know.
I don't know about that.
You got to do research on this show.
I heard you.
It looks falling apart.
You're making it.
It's pre-em elseing.
He's going to go full scanners in a second.
When she with this chick Kelly says words like crack,
croak, creek, for some reason,
it, I don't know how it is, there's an extra hiccup
in every tie and it's only words that have R in it.
So crack is crack. Creek is creek.
And so 21, here's a bunch of examples all from one show.
Car, Christmas is incredible.
New York, come to Oregon, come here,
our temperature, algorithms incredible,
four crust, cripple.
What the fuck an accident?
That's a weird crack head.
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's a weird crack head. Yeah.
Oh, she's like a male or her bride that cracked the coders.
Yeah.
Can I ask a question about fair use?
Of course, I know, I really think about fair use.
Okay, so if I, let's say I decided to review a radio show, put it on my Patreon.
Supposedly, I can't get in trouble for that.
Well, as long as it's transformative, here's really the crux of it when it on my Patreon. Supposedly, I can't get in trouble for that. Well, as long as it's transformative,
here's really the crux of it when it comes down to,
is it for a different audience?
Are people getting the same enjoyment
or the same entertainment out of your version of it
as they would the original?
If you are changing it enough,
that it's now a different product.
For example, nobody ever watched
Centering John show me.
But tons of people watch us
showing Centering John show,
different audience, different entertainment value.
If we tell you why Centering John sucks,
and everybody enjoys that,
which is actually written into the new copyright act.
Oh yeah, Centering John's, call out my name.
I so do.
I can't, I hate the Melendez Accords.
Then I can't wait to have the, who are these free beers started on Patreon?
Yes, you really should do that.
I love this presentation.
I love your impressions of them.
That's all I have for you on episode 400.
Excellent.
Nice work, Eric.
You always bring it and I appreciate that. I know you got to go in a second before you go. I. Nice work, Eric. You always bring it. And I appreciate that.
I know you got to go in a second before you go. I want to play you are.
Grinch of the week. Grinch of the week.
This one comes in from Adam Thoreau. It's a show called Obvious Brothers. And Adam says,
these guys have the charisma of what bread.
John, you hear the story about Abe Lincoln and the woman at the party?
I guess they got in a bit of a fight, John, and at the end of it, she said,
Mr. Lincoln, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your tea.
And Lincoln looked at her and said, Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.
Uh-huh.
That's a good one, actually. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good one actually.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There you go.
Good stuff guys.
Good stuff guys.
That's it.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
All right.
Since we're talking about cringe of the week,
I want to mention the Tampa Accord has been referred to as cringe embarrassing lame.
And that was just the conversation with my mom.
I said, I read Chad joke. Settling Jack joke.
See what I did there.
I do wanna thank Anthony Cumia
for attempting to redirect attention to him
getting kicked out of the comedy seller
by Bill Burr security who was club soda,
Kenny, thank you Anthony for doing that.
What?
Took some of the heat off of the credit.
What a man.
Oh my God.
You gotta watch this.
Is this the credible?
Is this the club soda, Kenny kicked him out?
Yeah, he went back to talk to Bill Burr at the famous table and
Bill's like really man really after what you said about my wife and club soda Kenny
Actually physically just the Justin he just he just did him out. Yeah, and Kenny's a big dude
He's a very big dude. So yeah, he's gonna move a guy like Anthony out the door if he wants to
So that's that was a pretty crazy story. Wow. So it's a Tampa court still a thing. Yeah. Well, so here's the deal with the Tampa
court. What we talked about and people are taking this a lot more seriously than I was.
I didn't realize this was going to turn to do a thing. Well, he who will not be named
hasn't come up. So well, here's the deal. I don't think we can say Chad Zuma. People were calling
me out because I actually gave a super chat to MLC on Thursday
because they didn't have Chad on because Chad called me a pot of file.
And even Kevin Brennan's like, what are you doing?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So they didn't have Chad on on Thursday.
So Ray DeVito was there.
So I gave him five bucks and said, hey, if it's not going to Chad, because I said, none
of them might be going to Chad today.
So I'm like, here's five bucks for Ray.
And so people are calling me out.
They're like, what about the Tampa court? I'm like, I hear five bucks for Ray. And so people are calling me out, they're like,
but what about the Tampa court?
Is if I like, signed something in blonde or something.
Oh, you did?
No, I did it.
So basically, the point of that was,
and the bit was pretty lame.
I'm definitely admit that.
I didn't realize what was gonna happen.
Cardificing over the idea, like,
let's talk about Chad for two weeks.
I thought it'd be a fun experiment.
If everyone's not talking about him, what would he do?
He'd probably do something crazy to try to get attention
because he needs attention so badly.
So I thought, as a premise, it'd be fine.
And then, Cardiff invited all these people.
I didn't know who's gonna show up on the show,
but lo and behold, Stevie Lew and Aaron Imholt
came on the show and that pissed a lot of people off.
Wow.
People really don't like people who really hate Aaron Imholt.
I mean, I don't invest people really hate air in them all I mean I don't
Invest a lot of time into like why people don't like Shuley or why people don't like steel toe
I mean why are you wasting your time? Well, you don't have to be involved. It's fine. Well, let's get into it real quick So I was on air exchange show yesterday. I two dudes
Eric Zane show yesterday. I got fucked by two dudes.
I was on Zane show yesterday.
This is real life shit.
And I'm walking that fucking walk.
I got fucked by two dudes while I was walking around my neighborhood today.
Is this an act of war?
No, because we're talking about that.
That's for me.
I don't have a car.
Eric's not in the chords.
Okay.
No, Eric, I was on a show yesterday.
And he said that he was going to be a part of the
template accord as well.
But I don't know.
Okay, well, you're in violation.
You fuck up.
So basically, when I was talking to Eric yesterday, Eric goes, because if you go to our
sub-reddit right now, there's a lot of people who are not happy with what we did.
They're never going to listen to the show ever again.
We've jumped to potato and it comes on. Yeah.
15 minutes of audio, ruined the whole country.
Yeah.
So when I was talking to Eric yesterday, he goes,
yeah, I learned you just got to stop
reading social media.
And I feel differently than that.
I do read social media.
I do look at the feedback.
I do course correct.
When I realize that I'm out of whack
is what I should be doing.
I don't ignore it.
I don't ignore it.
And so when I was reading this stuff as it was coming in
and it's been coming in pretty hot,
I'm going, okay, what do I do wrong?
What do I need to do to fix this?
But then the steel toe boring show subreddit
who are the people who are posting all this shit
in our Reddit kind of overplayed their hand a bit
and lost credibility with me.
Because like you said, for a 10 to 12 minute long bit,
for all of you people to be like,
this is the worst thing that's ever happened on any podcast ever.
This guy's an idiot, it's over.
Well, it was very Chad energy.
This is over now.
This guy said, doork, this sucks.
Aaron, he's in the middle of the show, he's jumped the shark.
This is the worst thing ever.
It's like, okay, I see what this is.
It's a common enemy. I see what this is. There's a common enemy.
I see what this is now.
This is actually, it really doesn't have a lot to do
with criticizing us.
It's more people who really hate Aaron Imhol
and possibly Stevie Lew, as I learned, as well.
And so now it's like turning to this thing
where these people, and I don't trust people online
who speak in extremes.
Unless Carl goes after SteelToe,
I'll never listen to a show again.
It's like, yeah, how would that change anything?
Would you see more than a paragraph?
I'm already suspect.
Right, right.
So that's actually brings me to one of these threads
that I wanna read.
I found this to be interesting.
So this one comes in and it says,
today's show did it.
I'm no longer a patron after three plus years
and this is only for you.
And so, hey, what's up, Emily?
I'll read your note here because what he did
is he posted this paragraph and I'm about to read.
And then he posted about 40 to 50 more times
in the thread itself.
This is a person who will never listen again.
Who's done with the show.
He says, yep, that's all the cringe I can take.
Carl has steel toe and his unhinged mod, Stevie Lew.
Some loser from BYB and I'm done.
I hate it to do it.
The show doesn't represent me anymore.
If you think I'm gonna sit through that lying e-beger,
Aaron Imhol, call someone else washed up.
You lost me, bud.
Good luck. I hope you guys continue to enjoy washed up. You lost me, bud. Good luck.
I hope you guys continue to enjoy this show, but for me, it's over.
It's been going downhill for a while.
I think Carl is doing too many shows and co-signing too much bullshit.
I like W-A-T-S.
Thursdays at 6.
I am that.
I'll give Brian Mike my money.
Vity is cringe, though.
Wow, we can talk about that. Too much of what I hate, not enough of what I like at my money. Vityas cringe though. Well, you know, we can talk about that.
Too much of what I hate, not enough of what I like at this point.
Been a good run for some great moments,
Gagia and Bidogi.
So, so listen, I understand,
I get very invested in podcasts and characters and things and two.
I've never once gone to Adam Crowley's subreddit,
but like, that's it guys.
I said, with Gina Grant, I don't give a shit that much, but whatever.
So there's a bunch of debate going on within this thread and people started pointing out,
and there's other threads too.
People started pointing out, why do these people who are in here talking the most, the only
other subred at the red is Boring Show.
And it's like, just what?
Steel toe.
Hey, okay.
So it's like the steel toe guys all decided to come over
and they're like, oh, here's an opportunity.
Let's get everyone to stop.
Let's like to, or fight against who are these podcasts
or whatever.
My favorite comment in this thread, I'm scrolling through it.
It takes forever to find it.
Yeah, that was a long,
fuck up.
Sir, this is from a Hell State 17.
Sir, this isn't an airport.
You don't have to announce your departure.
Yeah.
Yes.
That was my fate.
Anyway, I guess my point is this.
It wasn't a great bet.
I'll admit that I didn't have a ton of control over it.
I kind of let Carter set that up for us and see what was going to happen.
And I will course correct everybody.
Now, as far as how seriously I'm taking the Tampa Accords,
I think we can go two weeks without doing a bit segment on Chad.
I think that's fine.
But people are just like,
like there's a moderator in our discord
that's like banning anyone even using his name.
You can use his name if you find it.
Oh, that's fine.
You know, I just didn't want so much attention coming to him
because it seems to be that's like ex oxygen.
We've seen it work with Stuttering John and Patrick Michaels.
Oh, Patrick Michaels, the Purpose example.
Yeah, when you take away the attention,
they do something ridiculous.
They could wait about it until they don't get it anymore
and then they want it.
And then it becomes entertaining again.
Yes.
So this is kind of a fun thing that I just saw,
just before we started the show here.
Bob Lee, I definitely, uh, that didn't work. I wanted some.
That didn't work.
And then I get fucked by two dudes.
It's a pretty good draft you got there producer Chris.
What did you have that drop?
I sent it to you, fucker.
Check it out, leave you. What?
You ain't gonna believe this I was out. I was just walking around. You have to see.
You'll tapin' myself and I got jumpin' 14 people. You said, hey, you would comb me a country now.
And I said, I think I noticed that.
So, probably we have some fun with Chad's dumbwise,
which is always fun.
So anyway, I'm sorry I've set people
by having the Tampa Accord
didn't realize that would cost so much controversy.
I did say when someone asked me on WATS,
I did make a comment like,
I don't think it was a great bit,
but if I got this one, and people talking,
it must have, must be okay.
There's something to be said for that for sure.
That's a winner in Maya.
I would think so, but what do I know?
Sign the new Accord every single episode.
Yes. All right, Erin Im accord every single episode. Yes.
All right.
Aaron Imple, come on.
Yeah.
Let's go.
Everybody come on up.
I mean, Pimpler just like, hey, I'm sick of the same old shit
and then the minute you do something different,
they're like, oh, what is this now?
I'm never gonna listen again.
Well, that's why at first, I realized it wasn't sincere.
And that's why at first, I was reading, I'm like,
okay, what do I do wrong?
What do I need to do better?
And then as I realized the hate could pound again, and like, there's even a new threat today
so I was just like, I don't get it.
Why is someone so upset about that?
It's a little bit of a joke.
I think that was me.
No, it wasn't.
But in my opinion, pleading for reason.
In my opinion, this all worked like a charm.
And I say that because it's fucking stirs the pot.
That's what you're supposed to do.
So, and then like someone had asked me about,
because I occasionally like make a self-deprecating joke
on there and, and then people will ask me,
hey, what do you think about air and what do you think about air?
And can you believe this?
Can you believe this?
He's this and they're like accused and I go,
well, I can't speak to any of that
because I barely know him. However, the fact that you're all talking
about him, I wish I had that. That's, that's great because some like it, some don't, but
the fact is everybody knows who that is. I'm so goddamn jealous. The fucking Chad mentions
Aaron. It's like, you mother fucker.
I was the one rubbing you.
I've been rubbing your face and shit for years before Aaron.
You fucking cock sucker.
No respect.
He won't.
I'm so fucking low that I'm pissed off.
His Chad won't fight me.
You fucking pussy bitch.
Yeah.
I love Erickson Ferry already. Can't play. I wish 50 people pussy bitch. Yeah. I love Ericsson Fury already,
can't play.
I wish 50 people hated me.
Yeah, I wish.
When you're a bottom feeder like me,
you're like, oh, fuck, just give me something,
you fucking asshole.
I can see Ericsson starting a show off.
All right, the subreddit hates me.
It's up to 1,000 people, everybody.
Yeah, right.
We're doing it.
Yeah.
How many wins are reviews do we have?
Yeah.
So I do want to say this because as I'm looking at the boring show subreddit versus
Daveler's Anonymous, there's a different energy there and I have no problem make
front of Aaron Imhold all you want for begging for money and being on line way too often
and all the different things that you find him for.
I totally understand that,
but have some fun with that.
Like the reason why the devil verse worked
is because everyone was goofing out John in the fun manner.
The Photoshop for hilarious,
the videos people made for hilarious,
songs, parodies, like all these things.
Rosekin, it was fun.
Right.
This just seems like a lot of angry people, again,
I'll use the term Chad energy.
Like they're not having fun with it.
They're actually mad.
What do you mean mad about?
That doesn't make sense.
That doesn't make sense.
It's weird.
So, anyway, that's my take on that.
Apologies to people who didn't enjoy that segment.
Sure, make it funny.
If you want to hate on it, just be funny about it.
Yeah, please.
Right, I have some fun with that. I believe,
and I'm going to get shit for this, but I'm going to say it. I was watching, uh,
Geno Biscotti doing a live stream. And I can't do it my face.
Just lost seven more people I've made. But even he was saying, he goes, the reason why it doesn't
work for Chad is because he's not a happy guy. In order to make comedy,
it's got to come from kind of a happy place.
You know, you can't be angry and funny sometimes,
but not all the time.
It wears thin and it's kind of like,
well, if you're not having fun,
then why should I have fun?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, maybe it's blas me to say this,
but that was kind of my problem with Thopey and Anthony.
It's like, everything was always about,
this sucks, this sucks, this sucks, everything sucks,
and this is why it sucks.
And sometimes it's funny, but it's just like,
in the end, I need a break from everything's sucking.
You know, there's fuckin' sunsets and puppy dogs over here.
I don't need, well,
the open Anthony telling me everything sucks all the time.
The open Anthony subreddit is a perfect example because that place started as a fun
Community and then I got to the point where people were calling up bars to get Anthony's brothers gigs cancel
Right, what are you accomplishing with this? What's going on? How are you doing that? Yeah go kiss a girl or a guy?
Are you
Girl or a guy or do some or your cousin or your cousin
you did just deep in your cousin.
All right, Eric, I think you've got to go, right buddy?
Yes, sir, I do.
Dude, thank you so much for coming on the
EricZaneShow.com is where people can go to find you
and of course you do a podcast daily.
I do, but not like five times a day like fucking steel toe.
Oh my god, fucking cock.
Dude, I hope he dies.
You should definitely start going after seal toe.
You would give the audience immediately.
You and Patrick Melton could join forces.
Yes.
Sure.
Why not?
What the fuck?
I love you guys.
I appreciate you for having me.
Nice to meet you.
Lucy Andy.
Chris Carl.
Good to see you all again
Love you Eric. Yeah, thank you. The man. We'll see you and get Detroit in September. Can't wait can't wait
Hopefully before that of course
All right, all right guys listen. It's episode 400 so you know what that means Oh
Gakiyah there was a beer on the balcony from July of 2021 Oh and
Judd starts off. He just got his hair colored
He's looking good. What color? He wasn't good for the ladies
Yeah, baby
Welcome to a very special beer on the balcony. Yes, I know what you're thinking. My hair color is different.
Well, it is.
I am getting headshots done.
And I decided if I'm gonna get headshots,
I gotta look younger.
So I went and did the glaze, you know,
the flashback they call it.
Because you know what, I'm too young to look old.
Let's go.
Oh God.
Please tell me it's a 22 caliber headshot.
So you know he went to like sports clips or supercots?
Because it looks terrible.
The car wash.
The die job looks terrible and his fingernails.
Yeah.
Oh, he did it himself.
Oh, good point.
I was wondering how you get that dirty with your fingernails.
You might be right maybe just for a matter or something.
That's 100% hair dye.
Oh yeah, he's a vision in shoe polish brown.
Okay.
So guys, bad news.
John will not be drinking today.
There's a reason for it. Now I don't have any beer because it's 11 o'clock in the morning. What do you think I'm some kind of freaking alcohol?
How long exactly?
What do you think of it? Oh,
Colin. Well, someone was thinking. Yeah, so I'm having a bloody Mary.
We don't think it. We know it. Yeah, I'm not drinking beer. I'm still drunk from yesterday.
I'll be riding this bus for a while.
Now, John's gonna introduce his guest, Alonzo Bowden. He doesn't know
what radio station Alonzo Bowden has a show on, because why would he?
And Alonzo Bowden doesn't know what a terrible show he's about to be on.
Well, he's gonna reach seven or eight people, including two of John's favorite moderators are there.
He has a radio show, although I can't find
what station it is. I'm sure Alonzo's going to tell us.
But first, let me say hi to everybody in the chat room.
There is Nikki B. my great moderator and sweetheart.
Benny Loco, I love you, baby.
Aw, simpler times.
Oh, I miss those days.
Broken trust.
All right.
So let's take a look at the dirt under his fingers.
And, no.
I really, I really think he did his own hair job now
that you said that.
If I took my nail polish off right now,
my fingernails would look similar.
Oh, for real?
So maybe you should just wear nail polish.
Yeah, it's true.
I think it was beautiful. Yeah, maybe you should just wear an L-poll. Yeah, it's true.
He would look beautiful.
Yeah, maybe he should fart.
Yeah, he could take head shots like this.
Beautiful hands on the face.
Oh, yeah, right.
He could vogue gorgeous.
The McCulley-Calkin.
Yeah.
And you know what,
along with one nice,
Cherimuchoel friend,
his name, J. Leno.
Yeah, I just zoomed in on that one figure.
It's hard to get that much shit underneath the figure now.
It's difficult to do.
I mean, I don't think you could get that much shit on your figure stealing a catalytic
converter. Yeah.
Yeah, you have to be an auto mechanic.
Chad looked later than that.
So he mentioned that him and Alonzo Bowen of a mutual friend in J.
Leno.
And I was on Monique show last night.
It's up on YouTube if you wanna check it out.
I was on there with Alex Stein and Casey Armstrong
talking about Howard Stern, of course.
And we were talking about Stuttering John
and how incredible it is to squander so many opportunities.
If you get a job in LA, in Hollywood, you're gonna meet celebrities. If you get a job in LA, in Hollywood, you're going to meet celebrities.
If you get a job in the tonight show, you're going to meet every celebrity.
Every publicist, every celebrity, there's so many chances to make connections with all
of these people.
I think of like Jimmy Kimmel has his front with every single celebrity because he has a
late night show.
And John is squandered that.
He has just no connections at all.
He's talking to aonzo Bowden.
And listen to this awkward intro,
where it sounds like they had some kind of falling out.
Johnny's to apologize for something, but he's sure.
Now let's say I'll hide it with Alonzo Bowden.
How are you buddy?
What's up John?
How you doing man?
I'm so happy to have you on.
I'm glad that all missing the standings are done.
How are you, man?
Dude, I love you, man.
I've been a fan.
You came and did other Stephanie Miller show,
I booked you on that show, remember?
Yeah, yeah.
I've done Steph's show a number of times,
which is great.
After me or before me?
I don't know.
I've been doing it for the last,
I want to say three or four years. Yeah, yeah. Because I remember I brought't know, I've been doing it for the last, I wanna say three or four years, so.
Yeah, yeah, because I remember I brought you on
her happy hour one.
He always needs credit.
So I like to know what that story is,
where he's like, hey, man, so we're cool, right?
Hey, hey, what's going on?
Remember, I did your favorite ones, remember that?
He acts like it's like the BCAD version of Stephanie Miller.
Was this, right?
Yeah, BJ or AJ after John.
Yeah.
I don't know.
That's the funniest part.
That's the funniest part about it.
Is that John was such a non-factor in that show.
He's like, oh, was it when I was on the show?
He's like, I don't know.
Yeah, I'm not idea.
Talking to Stuck in Tell.
Yeah, we would give a shit.
Doesn't matter. But it no idea. Talking to Stuck in Tell. Yeah, we would give a shit. Doesn't matter.
But it just probably goes back to him dropping
into Alonzo's DMs and saying,
do my show, do my show.
And Alonzo's like, why would I do that?
You were a drunk dickhead on a stepbiller.
And he's like, oh, come on, who's watching his piece?
Yeah, probably right.
I'd love to know what the actual story is there.
All right, so now John wants to jump in on the political talk
because Alonzo's talking about his radio show
he does on an AM station.
And I guess they do talk some politics from time to time.
But he has no confidence.
There's stupidity is literally killing us.
Fortunately, it's killing them first.
So maybe we can wait it out.
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for cutting you off. No I didn't I was gonna say.
He didn't even, Omanza was ready to let him talk.
Yeah.
This guy will host a show and he's like yeah you know what I'm sorry I'm sorry go ahead.
Dude, so there's something weird going on.
Maybe this is John's only black friend or something.
He's like trying really hard to have him like him.
Oh, okay, you go.
I'm sorry.
This is definitely something that he had to like,
tap dance to put together.
Yes.
That appears to have,
because he had to change the time to get him on.
It was 11 a.m.
So he couldn't drink beer,
because people didn't see these things drinking
at 11 a.m.
That'd be a problem.
So, all right, here's some spicy Vax talk.
Finally, did not age well.
This is from July of 2021.
John was a no-at-all.
First of all, I'm sick of people
blaming Gavin Newsom for the new mask mandate
when really, really they should be blaming themselves
because they didn't get
vaccinated.
Because if everybody got vaccinated, we would have hit the 70% threshold and we would have
had heard her immunity.
So all these people blaming Gavin Newsom is ridiculous because it's these, you know what
I mean?
It's these people who don't want to get vaccinated.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
I mean, we heard immunity, right?
That's all we need.
You know, oh shit, I did our gov.
Whoops.
Whoops.
Ruh-row.
What if Jennifer goes back and looks at these things
and goes, oh shit, I was wrong about that.
I'm so confident.
If you're just listening to this and not watching it,
Alonzo Bowden is actively wiping flop sweat off.
Yeah, this head.
Yeah, he's wiping his head,
is sweat the entire fucking time.
He's sweating
for two it's uncomfortable being on the show so after that little clip that didn't age well
Obviously, it's funny because Alonzo says this and of course John agrees
Smart people question themselves stupid people are absolutely sure
John you're absolutely sure about everything you say when it comes to politics.
It's like, yeah, I know, right?
I totally agree with that.
I'm all in.
He's so stupid.
It's pretty surprising.
Enoch F says that there's a simple explanation for the fingernail thing.
Hemorrhoids itch.
Oh, that could be true.
That could be it.
Could be average use.
And you zoomed in on that.
Oh, I zoomed right in on that.
That's why I love people just listen to the show.
It don't watch it.
All right, we haven't talked about Trump yet.
So let's get a quick, remember,
Trump hasn't been the president for a year and a half
at this point, but we still have to talk about him.
And no hyperbole here. Let's just
be serious about who this guy is. Yep. And, and, and, and who we can blame on that the next
coming in my opinion of Adolf Hitler, Donald J. Trump, because he is the one, he did exactly
what Hitler did. He denounced the media, therefore making people suspect the media, and then
he's able to push all his bullshit.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, it's exactly like Hitler.
Hitler actually did a couple other things too, but let's not worry about that at this point.
That was the main thing he did.
That was the question of the media.
It's really all-no.
Hitler would go on Facebook.
Yeah.
Do you know that Hitler was the first one bad from Twitter?
You would even
you want Bask won't reinstate blocked. I need to point out again. Allons, I was just
like pouring sweat. He's just sitting in his own apartment. I got a wonder did John like
tell him you got to turn off your AC. I can hear it on my. Yeah. I'm forcing him to be
a professional. A sweat box.
And he's just melting in his own apartment.
Well, it's funny because he doesn't dress it at one point.
And he's like, where are you at right now?
And I forget where Alonzo is.
But John goes, oh, I thought you were in LA
because I'm sweating here too.
It's like people in LA have air conditioning, John.
You should too.
That's why your shitty apartment
took so long to sell.
It's thousands of degrees in there.
Oh, I'm ruined as a heat wave there. I don't know if that was 2001. I
Do remember the heat wave there. I was there
With a football game 100 fucking degrees
Over there goddamn stadium. All right, let's change the topic all right because they were talking politics this beer on the balcony
He's never politics as you know. This is the show that I have some fun.
It's not why I tune in to beer in balcony.
Correct, political.
I don't need to hear about Trump as a puppet of Putin,
which is one of the other things that Josh talks about here.
Now let's change the subject, please.
Wouldn't it be great if we at least change topics?
Yeah, no.
We'll, you know, along,
so I have a transgender child. And these right
wing lunatics smooth post pictures and goof, you know, and say what a bad parent I was,
that, that my kid is a quote unquote, freak, you know, and it's like, man, man, how does
somebody attack a child? You you know what I mean?
I mean, my kids are off limits.
You know what I mean?
They didn't choose to be in the spotlight.
You know what I mean?
Leave me alone.
You know what I mean?
Like five times.
Yeah, yeah.
He's hoping for a while to be like,
dude, that's crazy.
You're a victim, John.
That's fucked up.
He lines up and it's like,
so your kids are free again.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right.
When I said let's change topics, I meant to something fun, not something I can possibly
make a joke about.
Let's have some of our politics.
All right, well, I'm a victim of hate crimes on the internet.
Please go ahead.
Abortion, go.
Andy, I remember you, when we were younger, you were a Metz fan growing up.
So then we get into some some
great Metz conversation. And just a phenomenal question from John, who is one of the greatest
interviewers I've ever seen. Give me the starting pitching rotation of the 86 Mets. Oh, I
couldn't. I honestly, at this point, I couldn't, it was good and I'm trying to remember
because he became an announcer and he's pretty good at an announcer, but I couldn't name
the other starters.
Good and darling.
That's it, Ron Darling, yeah, he became an announcer.
Sid Finandez, Bobby O'Hita, and I'm gonna blank now.
I can't believe it.
I do this all the time.
I blank on the fourth one.
He's the hardest one to get to.
I'll come back to it.
You're blanking on the fifth one, John.
You just named it for.
I'm blanking on the fourth one.
No, I got the fifth one.
I didn't get the fourth one.
You named them all.
Okay.
Substitute teacher of the year.
Yeah, I know he asked the question.
He's all excited to answer.
He doesn't know the answer either, which is, again with the year. Yeah, I know he asked the question. He's all excited to answer. And then he doesn't know the answer either,
which is, again with the gross fingers too,
as he's like counting off the,
couldn't have burgers here.
Yeah, I mean, the 86 mats are the only mats.
Anybody fucking knows anything about?
Well, there was the amazing mats from 1969
who knocked off the actual box.
Dights drops 69.
Yeah, now's was on the 86, yeah.
Look at that finger.
Oh, God.
That is insane.
I would rather have dinner in skid row
than get anywhere near that finger.
I feel like it would be healthier for me.
Yeah, he looks like he was fingering his nail cousin.
You don't like pink eye?
Yeah.
All right, now we're going to talk about the famous
table at the comedy sower, which we brought up earlier in the show. And O'onzo is talking about how
when he was accepted there, that's how we knew like, okay, I'm a comedian because they're
willing to sit in chat with me. And of course, John makes this about him. I know, shocking.
And the first time I went to New York,
getting accepted by that crew felt good, right?
When you get, when you can sit at that table
at the comedy seller because they do have a thing of,
hey, we don't care if you're famous, you're rich or whatever,
you gotta be funny to sit at this table.
And they don't, like, as you know,
they don't like LA comics, right? They think all LA comics are all just TV comics or whatever. So sitting there with Colin
Quinn and Bobby and Keith and talking shit and getting shit talked about me made me feel like,
yeah, I made it. I'm all right. Yeah, I used to sit at that table all the time.
You know, those are the days of Arty Lang and Nick Tupalo.
And we would just hang out and Greg Gerardo, RIP.
I mean, I've had a lot of those guys on my shows
and everything.
What an asshole.
I was like, you gotta be really funny
as soon as that table, they will not let you,
oh, I sat there all the time.
Oh, cuz you're so funny, John.
Yeah, I used to sit there
when they were close for business.
And nobody was there.
Why are people so bad at interviewing other people
that have to insert themselves into every conversation?
Why is he just like, oh, that's amazing.
Like, what was your first show at the comedy seller?
Who was it?
Talk about Alanzo a little bit.
Let him tell his story.
He said, John's like, I know about that.
I was also there.
I also did that.
Okay, good for you, buddy.
You're the boss. So then he starts talking about what his ritual is before a standup show. I know about that. I was also there. I also did that. Okay. Good for you, buddy.
You're the best.
So then he starts talking about what his rituals before a standup show.
And again, this is just so Jack can talk about himself.
And Alonzo says, well, I drink coffee.
I have a cup of coffee before I go up on stage.
And of course, John, he's not, I've heard of coffee.
He's not, yeah, he's not doing that.
Yeah, yeah.
But now you drink hot coffee before you go on.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Really? Cause I like the ice. I'm not a hot coffee guy. But me because I'm a
stutterer, believe it or not, I'll have like a couple of beers before I go on because it takes
a little the edge off because like I do, I, it doesn't happen anymore. I don't stutter on stage
really that much. But it does suck to like it in those rare occurrences where I't stutter on stage really that much, but it does suck to, like, in those rare occurrences where
I do stutter on a punchline, it kills the whole fucking joke.
Right.
Right.
I like to have a couple beers before I have a couple beers.
I thought I was thinking the same thing.
If you were thinking, I don't believe about that,
it's the word of couple.
Yeah.
Several.
Yeah.
Believe it or not, I like to drink.
Yeah. No, you know, because hot beer or cold beer, he only likes cold beer. Oh my God,
you guys see that what happened to that train carrying the course, course lights and blue
moons. Yeah, I get all my news from red and Facebook. Yeah. Well, yeah, specific Reddit and specific Facebook group.
Yes.
All right.
Here's the last clip I have on here.
And it's John talking about how tough it is
to be a comic these days.
And wouldn't he know?
Wouldn't he know all about it?
We know it.
The late great, a Ralphie May.
I mean, he explained this best. and tell me if you agree with this.
He said, the reason why you're getting paid is not for the time you're on stage. It's
the hour before that you're waiting to go on. That's where the real work is. And I kind
of agree with that because to me, along the thing on stage, it's so much fun. I love to make people laugh and it's
so much fun. The thing I hate the most is because like I'm a headliner now. So sitting
through the host, sitting through the, sitting through the feature and all that energy
that anxiety, I hate that, I hate that 30, 40 minutes before. You want a lot of down to be like, I'm a headliner too, John.
Meanwhile, Alonzo is just like, yeah, well, when you actually are touring comic, you get
over that pretty quick.
It's not that difficult because I'm a headliner now.
Alonzo is just like looking at all the exits.
Well, John's talking.
He's just like, how do I get out of this?
Principal uncertainty wants to know
if that was shooly sticky.
It'd be high to me.
That was Andy's brother Joe at the studio with us today,
celebrating number 400.
And you know who else is here?
Is review girl extraordinaire, Hannah.
What is joining us? Hey guys, say Lucy.
Hi Hannah.
Oh, you guys know each other?
Yeah.
Oh, nice.
Alright, I'll get out of the way.
Hannah, have you been, I haven't seen you in a minute.
I know, it's, oh my god, and of course the dogs are starting again, sorry.
Are we fucking go?
Yeah, yeah. Every time.
Corn's voice is like a dog whistle, apparently.
Yeah.
It is.
It's possible.
That's what it is.
Oh, good.
Just busy, but good.
I'm alive.
All right.
I'm glad to see that.
You know, I actually was messaging with Vic this week.
She said she was going to come on the show today
for number 400.
And I don't see it.
I don't want to know.
I don't see her now.
So we'll see.
We'll see what happens.
But she really is a WATP tease, isn't she?
She's got that down.
All right, Hannah, I brought you on because it is time
for everyone's favorite game.
Well, my favorite game.
I'm told by some people it's not everyone's favorite game. Well, my favorite game. I'm told by some people it's not everyone's favorite game.
A lot of backlash on Cardiff this week.
It's weird that you know what games that you're not great at.
Yeah, Cardiff taking some heat this week.
I don't know if you guys saw that.
That's one roasted potato.
Yeah, he's a big.
It's time for
everyone's favorite game show.
To catch. An alien. Are you ready
to play? To catch. An alien.
Also the Tampa papers were Carl's
idea. I see both side, but I see
both side of it. Yeah, that's what I'm asking you guys.
I'm asking you guys about how your opinion is on it.
Because when I looked at it, I understand it.
Plus, they were defunding the police, which is talking knots.
And then every time, every time you...
I do that's dumb, bro, because when someone break
in your house and somebody can kill, bro, who y'all
can call them, bro?
Like, who y'all are even gonna call?
And then another thing, I think the news push that on,
right?
It's not like, it's always a black and a white there's black on black white on white a white guy a white officer
Landon black. I don't know. It's so bad and racism with it
Then they use that but then I when I was watching football and I saw I said
Why in the hell would they do like to me it was nuts now? This is from a white guy right now
I respect everybody's opinions. She's just mine
If that flag isn't there you want to got that 20 million dollar contract. You want to got that $100 million endorsement from Nike. So, okay, if you got that opinion,
then, like, keep it off the field and keep it to yourself because without that flag, you
wouldn't get that $100 million contract. So, to me, it was insane. And then you knew that
they were going to blow it out of proportion. And then if one guy did it, and another guy
didn't, and, you know, they went through the ball to them and all this potion. And I
just thought it was a ridiculous, I don't even know. I just thought it was a ridiculous I don't even know I just thought it was nuts that they didn't think yeah you can have your issues with
police brutality and this and that but that has nothing to do with football
and you know stand for yourself in a different way because again those guys fought for you to go play on that field
and you're making tons of money, booku money that you would never have made without that flag
so if you want to go like knee-and-what home or whatever fine I respect that everybody's got to know the thing but I do made without that flying. So if you want to go like, Neon at home or whatever, fine. I respect everybody's got the other thing, but to do it like that.
Yeah, kids watching.
Yeah, kids watching.
Yeah, kids watching.
Yeah, those into the high schools
and the middle schools and how it's okay.
What did Tommy say next?
Here are your choices.
Number one,
some places want to replace the anthem with a Rihanna song.
B, now we got three different bathrooms.
Three, Trump or Biden.
It doesn't matter. Just play football.
Next, all these trained derailments, we should kneel for that.
Lastly, China and Russia are loving it
to catch an alien. All right, this is one of those ones
where it could literally be any of these five.
I don't see a joke wanted here.
I could see Tommy saying any of these.
I, I mean, this must be new.
It's a trained German thing, right?
Hmm.
We think Cardiff is making like a thousand of these.
He said no, these are all, obviously. Seemingly, he's mining him from years ago. Hmm. What do you think Cardiff has making like a thousand of these? Is it something that no?
These are all, obviously.
Seemingly.
He's mining him from years ago.
No, no, no.
Okay, so I'm going to go with lastly, China and Russia are loving this.
It's going to be my guess.
Lucy, what do you think?
I really want it to be three bathrooms.
Three bathrooms, I like that one too.
I'll go to Hannah.
I think I'm going to do three Trump or Biden.
Love it.
Love it.
Trucker Andy.
Hey, we'll go with the train one.
Okay.
Four.
Okay.
So we have every single one except for number one.
Pretty sure Chris.
I'm going with four of the train.
Okay.
Neal for the trains.
Maybe Joe wants one.
Yeah.
Oh, no, what do you want?
Andy's for the Joe. Oh, that's one. All right. would know what you are. I would have said it's for the Joe
Oh, it's one. Hey, team player. All right, Curtis not gonna win this week. Good. He's fucking up my show. Thank God. Thank you God
You're here Joe
All right, here we go
So if you want to go like Neil at home or whatever fun, I respect that everybody's got the
other thing but to do it like that.
Yeah, kids watching.
Yeah, kids watching.
So influential.
That goes into the high schools and then the middle schools and now it's okay and now
we're up and we got three different bathrooms.
Oh, I'm so happy right now.
Wow, losing tight vibes.
Beginners look coming in.
Remember, remember, remember, you.
It's so great when the funniest one is the real one.
Yeah, I know.
A real laugh, so that you're like, that can't possibly be real.
Yeah, and then it is.
Carter free-dead himself with us, what's so broad?
What do you think about that shit?
Man.
That one is crazy. We got a crazy, normal, normal, normal. What do you think about that shit? Man
That one is crazy. We got a crazy
Well, you got the other bruh crazy story about the end of Dila. Yeah, I ain't
Went here the crazy that's all for this time. I wanted to start singing a song. I want to hear that kids say ABC
That's all for this time. I want to start singing a song.
I want to hear that kid sing ABC.
Yeah.
That's all for this time.
Who is that guest I need to know?
I'm back next time to find out if you have chosen the right
bathroom to catch an alien.
Reminder the Tampa papers were Carl's idea. All right
So for surfing Mondays at APM on YouTube
Subscribe
Fucking me
All right, all right. We got it sit it, alright, we got it. Sit it, we got it. Wow. Jesus. Congratulations,
Lucy. Very impressive. I thank you. It's like poker, whoever's never played before and
always wins. Is that how it is? I hope the beginners look. Is it? I hope not. I don't
know. We did okay last time. I think the only time I won was the first time I was on.
Yeah, that story checks out.
You're pretty bad at this game.
I'm pretty bad at it.
But Hannah, you're gonna be in Philadelphia
with us on April 22nd.
Yes.
We're looking forward to that, the live show.
And by the way, someone emailed me
for that ticket I mentioned in the last show.
Someone else has two more tickets available.
I got to make sense of this.
I'll talk to Dick and see what we're doing because I know people want tickets and some
people have some available.
So we'll figure that out for anyone who wanted to get tickets and didn't because it's been sold
off for about a month now.
A hot commodity.
Yes, it is a hot commodity.
Producer Chris will be there.
Hey.
I'll be there. Some more tickets just freed up.
What have we done today?
We've done it all.
A bird cast followed by step by step, followed by free beer and hot wings.
cringe of the week included the Tampa accord.
Thank you for that.
Beer on the balcony from July of
Lucy wins to catch an alien. So you know what that means. It's time for everyone's favorite part of the show
Much to Reddit's chagrin. We're still going and here's the podcast. We'll be reviewing on the next W ATP.
You have a real soundboard. The Zencaster soundboard as you've seen is like fucking eight options and they automatically play when you try to change the volume.
Do you have a hook up to your stream deck or you just have like a software like it is and it's in the voice.
Oh my god really yeah. Oh my god, really? Yeah.
Oh my god.
I ride, I ride, I ride.
I promise I, I promise I'll use it responsibly
even here.
I know.
I'm something.
I know you won't.
The doctor was the mother.
He stood on a block of ice.
Both the temporal flesh. It was the cabin of an airplane.
It's happened with an ice cream.
And the worst thing for a ride. I'm not even heard that clip.
I had heard in this show.
Oh, it's a big show.
It sounds like pure chaos.
It sounds like chaos.
This was sent in by Christian Black.
He'll be on the show with us on Wednesday, coming on on Thursday.
Hey, Riddle Riddle.
He wanted to do a D&D show.
I need some time.
Yeah.
I need some time.
Yeah.
I need some time.
Yeah. I need some time. show and I need some time.
I need some time before we do that.
It's too much.
Do you want to do another D&D show?
All right, and you brought a game.
I'm sorry, I forgot about this.
No, that's okay.
You brought a Who Set It game.
Yeah, this is going to be, I mean, Cardiff is a hard act to follow.
Correct.
But we thought that it would be fun to go back
and mine a who set it out of previous guest hosts
who've been on the show over the years.
So what we've got here is a setup clip,
which is a quote from a co-host,
and your options are, Chris, we're gonna write down
that it's gonna be either Kevin, Kaya,
Mean Doug, Nice Doug, or Vinnie.
Okay.
So those are your...
Kevin, Kaya, Doug, Doug, or Vinnie.
Correct.
Okay.
So in clip one, I think I labeled them easy enough for you to...
Yeah, there's A1, A2, A3, and then Q1 final,
Q2 final, Q3 final.
Q is a question A is the answer.
Got it.
Okay.
That makes way more sense.
I'm looking at it alphabetically.
I do everything alphabetically on my board.
So that's how I haven't laid out.
Got it.
I want one in one going in.
So the question, now that we've figured this out,
question one.
Maybe we should play, we were just sitting
staring at each other for 10 minutes before the show started. The rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr his legit numbers and he rides swiftly and he doesn't take no shit. Wouldn't he just fail?
Just based off of this, wouldn't you fail even if you were waiting for the next Venom review?
The question become, you know, who's that? Regardless of what they're talking about,
obviously talking about Patrick Michael. Who was talking about Patrick Michael in this clip?
For some reason I was getting mean Doug vibes.
Now let me ask you this.
Are you including in the you-nose and the different
crutch words that people say?
Because I'd be a clue.
Believe it's verbatim.
Verbatim.
Yeah.
All right, then I can't be mean Doug,
but I'm gonna go mean Doug, okay.
Anyway, Lucy.
I'm gonna go with Vinny.
Vinny, all right.
And producer Chris
Kaya Kaya all right. Let's find out
And almost every episode is over 100 100 downloads
So they fucking with me and I'm saying I'm not worried about them my numbers are living it
You know I have photographs on social media get over there and check it out no bullshit
Wow, but it's all right You know, I have photographs on social media get over there and check it out no bullshit If you were a listener of this type of show. Yeah
18 minutes talking. Yeah, was it really?
That was you going back to chewed guys. Yeah, all right
I got to be on the play on that or once we can know not really once you know, it's done good
Yeah, I A back baby!
Yeah!
I got a hug.
Carl remembers everything about his show.
Okay.
This is kind of a big game.
I talk to these people a lot.
I know what kinds of things they say.
Yeah, I was hoping I'd find something a little more obscure.
So clip two, this is going to be another co-host.
Cute.
If this is the way this guy is in real life, he sounds like such a douche. Clip 2. This is gonna be another co-host. Cute.
If this is the way this guy is in real life,
he sounds like such a douche,
like such an intolerable douche.
I couldn't even imagine talking to him
if he's the person on this podcast.
So now is that Kevin,
Kaya,
Mean Doug,
Nice Doug, or Vinny?
I think it's nice Doug. I'm gonna go with Doug good times great movies
What's it you Lucy? I'm going with Vinnie again Vinnie again. Why not? That's not a bad strategy
Kevin all right
I don't know how to say without coming off like a fucking douche
But I mean most people don't do it like that. They they edit their shit. Everything's real tight and I think
That that's Anthony.
People get tired of that.
They want something that says,
I mean, we may be stupid and I may come off like a foul.
Like a jackass most of the time and come off like an idiot.
But it's real.
But this is nice dog.
If you talk to me in real life, this is the way I am.
It's really nice dog.
So it's like, I think people feel the raw,
the realness of it, you know.
If this is the way this guy is in real life,
he stands like such a douche,
like such an intolerable douche.
I couldn't even imagine talking to him
if he is the person that's on this podcast.
Oh, I'm not asking Hannah for her answers,
am I?
I'm so sorry.
I'm just looking at people in the room.
Would you have gotten these?
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, the answer's out.
You didn't nail it. So that was from Doug versus Doug. The Doug versus Doug. I'm so sorry
You nailed it so that was from Doug versus Doug Doug versus
Nice dog had to then go on who's right to apologize
It was so brutal. It's still in my favorite episodes of all time. I did no work for it
I should have known Carl would know these clips way too well. I don't though. I mean
Honestly, you can ask you for something that happened in the show last week.
I have no idea.
OK.
Except unless it's the tampa cord.
You're just going to get it.
You're just good at guessing.
OK.
I just know how people talk.
I talk to them a lot.
Anyway, one more round.
Sorry, Hannah.
I'll get you in the next round.
Go get a hand on the next round.
Last round.
Before you were even on there, and it was just the Facebook,
it wasn't a poke. it was called a finger blast.
Hahaha.
That could be Vinnie.
That one, that one I don't know, that one might be Vinnie.
What do you think, guys?
I also, that one sounds like Vinnie and I mean.
Hannah, what do you think?
I'm gonna go with Kaya.
Oh, okay, I like it.
Uh, producer.
I'm rooting for Kevin.
All right, let's go.
Do you know when they got rid of the poke on Facebook?
I think I was still in college
when the poke was on Facebook.
What is she talking about?
You know, before you even,
we were on there when it was just the Facebook.
It wasn't a poke, it was called a finger blast.
So I understand why people would be offended by that.
And I get it. But the
poke come on. Wow. Apparently the gavi, it's harder than it looks. Three for three.
Yeah.
Card of fiction. You look easy. I guess. No, that was good. I like that game. Yeah.
I think it's a winner because you won. I think it gave you the winner. Because you won.
I think that gave you the real winner, Andy.
All right, good work.
I'll make it harder next time.
All right, we're running long.
Let's go right into Net News, we have live.
Net News today.
Go right.
Lucy, if you have your script ready,
I do.
We can get into it.
So I assume the internet has been kind to us this week, right?
Oh, totally. Absolutely, absolutely Absolutely nothing that you wouldn't expect.
Internet news with Lucy Taipox.
From Facebook, Sanchez Pineapple panders directly to me.
Fuck the teaser. The internet news is my favorite segment and I look forward to seeing you all there.
Dan J. Morris, may I posit that in tandem with the Tampa Accord there be a pinkman adendum
because this pinkman's a real fucking pinkman.
Chris Holmes shares some impressive D&D inspired artwork featuring Carl as a goblin, Nigel
Udamanne comments, weird that you didn't alter Carl in any way but otherwise these are great. And from YouTube, Camaro 69Z writes, from a multi-millionaire radio personality to now confronting
talking vegetables on camera, OP really has done it all.
Hashtag Howard Stern
Chimp in a bow tie, imagine what OP would be like if Ant was actually trying to fuck with
him?
Steve T.
Is Cardiff a licensed therapist?
If not, he should be.
He is the Opie whisperer.
External extrapolations on Patrick Michael.
He's like the Travis Bickle of Podcasters.
John Valton the Evol Roebots.
Ending a comment with Good Day and then coming back to write another follow-up
is like doing a mic drop and then clumsily picking it back up again.
Clint eats wood notes. His laughs to himself are psychotic.
Election fraud opines. Patty Pewquater has to be the new nickname.
Jay Horvath. Come on, everyone. Hages are hard.
We all know that.
Like, she's music.
Come on, everyone pukes in their bath water after four and a half white claws.
Talk about retarded.
Postop threatens.
I'm not paying for this free YouTube if you boys don't put out more frequent content.
From Discord, we find quality riffing on our latest to catch an alien.
Kinky loco, the age of consent varies by planet.
Fiscal whiscal?
That's why he's here.
Earth has the loosest age of consent laws in the galaxy.
Inak-F.
Huh!
Maybe Komiya should be on the show after all.
Japanese fart enthusiast.
I swear officer, she looked 18 when I beamed her up.
And from Patreon, Ian Hawk gripes, Carl has become a fucking joke.
I'm ashamed to pay the year ahead.
This Tampa paper shit is made for a bunch of fags.
And from Reddit, we find similar grumblings.
Perseus AWC?
Wow, that was awful.
Normally, I like the potato's humor.
Maynard Jimmy Keenan.
That segment, with Cardiff, that steele toe douche and those two other dudes who kept
bombing, was fucking atrocious.
Stop listening to that steele toe guy, please, Carl, and good God.
Cardiff has just let the success go to his head.
Dude ain't that funny.
Turbo 7049 asserts, the 10 minutes spent on the Tampa Accord wasn't worth getting bent
out of shape over.
Carl should have realized it sucked and dumped out.
I don't know if he thought the show needed more than just he and Chris, but it really didn't.
Leonard's small 7-9.
I like the reoccurring characters.
Usually the main podcast they review is terrible and I can't wait till they move onto the
weekly loalc house.
But god damn, can they ever not review a podcast hoax hosted by women?
We get it, they're all dumb and really bad at effectuating any kind of entertaining conversation.
Can we please try some others, please? Getty Lees Thumb. Today I learned that you can actually
smell Manipaz through a podcast. And Whiskey in Witchcraft plays us out with, as someone
who has tickets to see the cure in May, why did Chris need to go and ruin it for me?
Alright, thank you very much and Lucy, thanks for coming over today.
Thank you for having me.
I want to plug your video.
Yes, please.
That you and I did.
Can we kill the new music?
We did a video about Suttering John's movie, One Too Many.
We did.
It was hell.
Where could people find that video?
They can find it on my YouTube channel,
which is once over with Kaylee.
And I'll be doing a bunch more movie reviews coming up.
I'm actually hoping to have the formerly known
as Trucker Andy on at some point soon.
Weatwink.
Tees indeed.
Once over with Kaylee, how do you spell that, Kaylee?
Oh boy, it's so confusing.
The once is easy easy the over is easy
Kaylee is spelled C-A-Y-L-E-Y very good. All right people could check that out
That reminds you when I first got your number
I was like how how do you spell that and you started spelling? I was like no
Nobody
15 years
No, you spell it wrong.
I do.
I guess the one that comes out too.
That's true.
All right guys, this came in just this morning.
And you know how Chad said that I was a pedophile
between that out and then deleted it?
Said, yes.
Somebody created an AI of me confessing to this.
And it's pretty fucking fantastic.
I have to admit, this is pretty well done. Rubberdicks and Cuzerus, it's pretty fucking fantastic. I have to admit this is pretty
well done. Rubber Dicks and Cuzerus, it's me, Carl Hamburger. And this is how I talk.
Have a confession to make. Chad Zumak was right. I'm a pedophile. I don't just look like
a pedophile. I am a pedophile. I kidnap little boys, lubed their butt holes up with
the tears they shed crying for mommy and daddy, then slide my dick right in there and
feel their soft, warm, tender, rectum's quiver as they struggle.
I am a total piece of shit pedophile and a racist because I hate Jews.
This is my confession and it is totally real and not AI generated whatsoever.
Please send this to the police.
Call me back.
Well, I guess I don't have to do this anymore.
Hey, I'm the rescue.
All right.
Hey, I is too good at being creepy.
Yeah, that was rough.
Wow.
Yikes.
Yikes are real.
Let's get into people congratulating us on episode 400.
That's not like more fun.
Okay.
Starting with my favorite color.
Hey, this is all the regulations of 400 episodes. It's called, I'm shock you made it this far. high-favorite color and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and Hi, my name is T.J. The messages for Carl. Carl, I had a show back in 2007 called Pickup
Lines. You hit a review of it in 2017. I'll just come and say that your face has come
a long way. Congratulations on 400 episodes, dude. Call me back.
Oh, that's a deep poll. Pickup Lines is one of the worst podcasts I've ever heard of my life.
That was a fun episode.
The Kevin and I did way back in the day.
Was that the one with the guy
that wanted nothing to do with it?
Yeah.
The woman in the guy was just...
The woman in the guy.
And the guy didn't bring any pickup lines
to the show or anything.
And he just wanted to see that.
I was just like, yeah.
Yeah, what are we doing in the socks?
I remember that, it was funny. It's too bad
I should have downloaded that episode because it's gone off the internet now
Hey Carl, this is animal. Hey animal holy shit holy shit
Time-fuck-your-fly 400 episodes. It wasn't even 400 episodes man good on you dude
I don't have a joke. I don't have something stupid to say just thanks man this show has been fucking awesome the
crazy dabble in verse that just because you existed you broke this whole thing
up the other shows the other characters card of elected all this fucking nonsense
I've never had so much fun every week in the last few years it has been so
fucking good.
I owe Dick Masterson for having you on that show
because ever since, I just couldn't stop listening.
I'm gonna keep listening.
It's just, I thought I'd be bored
or I'd get tired of you after a while
and like take a break.
No, it's never fucking boring.
It's never fucking boring.
It's entertaining beginning to end. Tom Myers is
whole. We have to say that's a bit of a whole fuck man. Last week, last episode, holy
shit. You're really tempting me with these fuck it with Tom Myers. But I'll take that
as the rest of it. It's just fucking awesome sauce. Thank Thank you Carl. Can't wait to keep listening for years on end. Okay, wait
And just keep doing what you're doing dude and everyone else that helps you man. Thank you. Happy 400th episode
Thank you very much. I appreciate that you know, I jumped right into the voicemails and
I
forgot to ask Hannah
If you wanted to read some reviews.
Hannah's finally here.
Let's take advantage of that.
I've been ignoring her.
I took some time out of her day.
Too much going on around here.
Because it is her birthday party.
You know what I mean.
Seriously, I feel that way.
So were you gonna read the reviews that people
were not too thrilled with your nudes
or what do you wanna do?
Yeah, I have someone who's thrilled with your nudes or what do you want to do? Yeah, I have some
with that assholes. There's a lot of people, but, but
um, there's enough to do like a few segments of those
or sure. Well, drag it out that I like that. Yeah, I brought
like five for now. Jesus, I didn't think there were that
money. I mostly were very complimentary of your, but some
of them are really funny. Okay.
Okay.
I'm not going to use anyone's full government name, but um, this is from Martin.
Uh, I wish she shaved her ass hole.
Haha.
What if it didn't exist?
Just before the shoot, anyway, even Martin's scoring offer.
Haha.
I see what you did. Um second one is from day. I'm good. Thanks, though.
Oh, come on. Good being gay. This is from Lee. A liking-trek dobs. She looks odd, but I don't see her having a dick.
Okay, good observation, I agree.
Silver line, you do.
Because she's not turned around.
Yeah, exactly.
She was using you, they knew to see the dick.
At least one.
Use her imagination.
Empty daily.
I'd smash, but I have pretty low standards.
Okay.
This one was my favorite one,
Grim Fuse. I picked a chick up at the bowling alley that looked quite similar.
She, like Hannah, was a disaster.
Two out of ten gold stars.
At least they're gold.
You know, I get chicks like head at the Bowie Galley.
I call bullshin on that one.
I'm not buying it.
I've gotten some Bowie Galley Strange.
It's not handle level.
That's your shirt.
Yeah.
All right, those are fun.
Yeah.
I'm glad you have a good sense of humor about this
so that we can do another shoot again soon.
Oh yeah, there's definitely more than worry. Oh, all right.
That was joking.
I mean, I wasn't joking.
Tees, tees, tees.
And by the way, Vic apparently got recalled into work and she was going to come to Philly,
but she's going to be out at sea when we're in Philadelphia.
So that career woman, Vic.
Vicks dead to me.
What's going to help?
I'm sick of her protecting my country.
All right, so is that all you have for this week?
Yeah, unless you want to show review.
Yeah, let's hear a show review.
Okay, I'll do too.
My friend from Patreon, Travis,
sent a bunch to me from this app that he listens to.
So there's some old ones on there that we've just never read.
Love it.
All right.
So this is from Southside socks.
Don't work.
That's all it says.
Don't work.
Don't work.
All right.
That's the best one.
Is that a five-star review?
Here's one.
No, it's a two-star review.
Oh, whatever. I have a five star review? Here's one. No, it's a two star review. Oh, whatever.
Uh, then the last one is from Johnny Red one. I took such a big shit yesterday. I had to break
it up into pieces with a toilet brush just to get it down. That's pretty much how to listen
to this show and shitty little bits. Good advice.
All right.
I appreciate that.
Is it a three star?
It's a five star.
Five, two, five gold stars.
Very good.
All right.
So you heard that AI voice that sounded pretty close to me.
I thought here's another impression of me.
Not not as good.
This is my impression of Carl.
Oh, man. Maybe I should wash my hand. Just kidding, he doesn't even think about it.
That's pretty good.
Pretty good, not bad.
Alright, so this is the guy who criticized us as the isotopes because someone was bitching
in the discourse and I was like, oh you don't play the voice who criticizes the isotopes because I someone was bitching in the discourse
I'm like, oh you don't play the voice melons of criticize the isotopes. I'm like, all right, what call I got that sir
I'm sorry if I missed it. So you're mr. insult hey Carl you didn't play my voice mail that criticized the isotopes a couple weeks ago
Because you're a pussy your tone sucks and your music is horrible
Go fuck yourself with like a hammer
Or some shit. Fuck you.
All right, here's my experience.
I never saw Eddie Van Halen calling out any other bands
for having shitty tone.
So I have a feeling this guy also sucks at music.
It was focusing on these things.
So buddy, send in your music.
We'll play it on the show.
We'll see what people think about it.
Since you got it, I'll figure it out over there.
Go check out the Buzz Myers.
I do use a different rig for the Buzz Myers.
A whole different amp.
So yeah, it's a different tone in that band.
BUZZ MI-RES is where you can find Buzz Myers,
Trucker Andy and my band, where there's actually singing.
Pit the bass players against each other.
Songs with singing.
I'll take you on.
All right, this is for you, Hannah.
So Carl, Carl, Carl.
I haven't been listening for a hot minute,
and I would listen to the, you know,
fart podcast episode, I don't know what number it is.
One with Andy.
And I heard, you know, about an hour and 30,
and you mentioned something about Anna's nude.
And I went on the Patreon because I was subscribed going for VIX and I had never canceled it.
Just hoping there would be another review girl on there and all that.
There is. But I go on the Patreon and what the fuck there's only two posts.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong here. And I'm still subscribed.
I mean, what's the deal? What's the deal? I don't know what I'm doing wrong here and I'm still subscribed
What's the deal? All right, whatever fuck you I'm sorry most of the posts are episodes of who or these podcasts
I'm doing two boats of naked women out here. What the fuck?
You're bad at exploring patreon that's the answer
Well according to Hannah we're gonna have more so that's
Excellent one day one day. There's a photo shoot in the works. Oh, I like the sound of that
Is it gonna be at the air being being Philadelphia? No
Stuttering John called in and saying a parody of Jesus Christ superstar and fucked it up
So then he called back again. Oh, I got the Compan media party podcast in
word chase the blue.
All right Carl actually called me back
this time to my my mother is
Puerto Rican and she doesn't speak
because you know how those people
are. Bye.
What?
What?
I don't know if you're saying why
people think I just like the
Jews. I mean, Lucy, I invited you to my house tonight. I mean,
we haven't been good to you, but I invited you to my house.
That's true. That's true. That's true. So we'll see if you get
out of here. That's the real task. You're allowed to hear
a word, Ken. Ken, the guy who made the AI
can do it with Lucy, please. It's going to sound the same.
Hey, Snaggleface and Plumps.
This is Kyle Spross.
Brot worse.
I had something that I wanted to get off my chest.
I was sitting in my truck.
Is it come?
Listening to your podcast.
And you know what?
I've had it.
So I'm calling and telling you what I've had it. So I'm calling and telling you what I've
had it with. And I've had it with plumps, aka, Chris, producer, Chris. I've had it with
him always sucking off Carl. He's always agreeing with what Carl has to say. Everyone
has to have shits on Carl constantly, but Chris is the only one who gives Carl the
attention that he wants and I've just had it. I've had it. Chris, stand up for yourself,
man. You've got to fight back against snaggle face. You got to. Stop it. Get those club feet off of your shoulders. Stop sucking them off and give
quality deserves, which is a constant barrage of abuse, slurs, and hatred. hatred is the third thing. Okay. I'm ready to stop. I'm stuck a dick with AIDS on the tip.
Listen, shut up for a second. I don't know where that came from. It's a little bit long. Yeah,
a little bit long. You're right. Did it come in under 45 seconds? All right, on the last episode,
we played Tom Myers was trying to tell a daylight saving time joke
And he ran out of time took us into the next round of daylight saving time and
This is the trap that we all followed to we listen to top Myers. I will try to fix this jokes for him
Okay, I'm going to fix Tom Myers's time
zone or whatever joke.
It was still like saving things.
The proper way to tell that joke, if you're gonna tell that fucking joke.
Uh-huh.
And time change is a real bitch.
Yeah, you go out and you get drunk and you go to sleep on Friday and you wake up on Tuesday
and all the fucking clocks around.
Uh, I don't hate that shit.
There you go, punching out.
Shades of Tony Michaels in that.
Tony Michaels, yeah.
I want to fix Todd Myers-Jews.
You're a regular carrot flopser.
Oh, how we...
It's your mother calling. How we every little boy needs his mother. Oh how we I missed you. I'm so sorry. Shut the fuck off. How are you
such a fucking loser? God dude just fucking kill yourself already. All right. I don't think we ordered to kill himself. It's fine. Oh, I have a note for myself. It says play this one first
All right, this is from Deluxe on the West Coast. He has a good song parody idea
Tarle Deluxe on the left coast
shows in straight fire keep going. I don't know if this is worth a call on the show but for people
who do scumbarrities we get somebody to do on foreigners hot flooded club footed.
It's set up for it. Dick Hoos is a band in the show Alfredi Newman looking bitch.
Baylor Dupri is what's up? Number one of all time.
Fuck yeah.
She's fucking fire.
She got nice ticks.
On the other show too, obviously.
So that's all I got.
What's her new thing?
Slap the chicken.
Don't like that.
You got a bunch of new things.
Alright, who's?
Put the ranch down.
That's how you know it's legit.
Taras, we have a bunch of new things. All right, peace. Put the ranch down. That's how you know it's legit. Taras, we have a bunch of new things.
Yeah.
Right.
It's season 12 of Taras.
Yeah.
We're back with new things.
I've retired and put the ranch down.
Yeah.
Oh my God, Doug from the Jinguist Department
made a game for us.
That is what tick will Bayland have next.
We're gonna bring that to WATS-T-S on the next episode.
To catch a tick.
Yeah, looking forward to that.
So, a diary is hereditary.
Runs of the jeans.
Alex, gankernously, Carl, plug the creep off.
You're losing big time.
Guys, I need you to go to the creep off subreddit
and vote for Carl.
I can't lose to Vinnie again. I already have two consequences that need to be done
I can't be sped I can't be sped in this fucking wheel again
I mean do it all kinds of consequences on his way to fucking Gary. Oh, I know right off to check them all off the list
All right one more voice mail here. Oh Kevin Brennan called in. really cool.
I was right to be a part of that.
You know, maybe you guys could all get together next time
and say, well, find the papers that say,
I won't have gay sex for two weeks.
But you know you've never do that.
Yeah, never.
Because you're all bunch of homo.
The girl, yay.
All right, Carl.
Well, I'm going to go.
I'm going to go have fun and talk about Chad Newmark.
You, you've got to sign your papers, OK?
All right, Kevin.
Fair enough.
I use, there's just something about the cabinet prussia
that's always fun.
So much fun.
Yeah.
It's just as fun as a sundering, John.
It always works. That's true.
I want somebody to do it.
I want somebody to do it.
And it doesn't matter how close you are to it.
Right.
It's just always fun.
I can't wait to hear Chrissy Mayer's.
Oh, yeah.
It's because I have a front of the present.
I'll ask her.
She has a good Sudden John.
I bet she has a good Kevin.
It'd be funny if it was the exact same thing
as her Sudden John.
Oh, I'm Kevin Brunner.
Yeah.
This is how I talk. This is how I talk.
This is how I talk it.
It bopbly me.
It's a chatted idiots.
Hannah, anything you want to promote or plug?
Nope.
How's life going for you?
Good, it's very busy but good.
I'll review girls have like busy lives.
Yeah, jobs and stuff.
I've missed the 50s. Yeah, and stuff. I miss the fifties
Yeah, that's what it is. It's working. So yeah, why are women working? It's not helping anyone
Don't want to I'm giving up on it. Why not everyone else?
Okay, okay, folks A-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r- Can you do that? Can you do the stoner girl thing? No, I don't think so. Yeah, do it a lot. I do it a lot with it.
Like the potato does, right?
Here we go.
Arrgh.
Arrgh.
Arrgh.
Arrgh.
Okay, bye.
All right, Kar, did we still have a job on the show?
That was a great episode.
That was really great.