Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep417 - Paul Giamatti’s CHINWAG with Stephen Asma
Episode Date: June 8, 2023On this episode we start with Howard Stern being faced with a question about the Dabbleverse. It's unfortunate Howard chooses to be clueless about Stuttering John's recent past because I don't know an...yone who would have more fun with it. Then we check out Paul Giamatti's new podcast with the Drew and Mike gang. It's a show that's about nothing and so little more. After that, Bill Maher and Billy Corgan have a very weird conversation about monkeys masturbating. Finally, we're joined by Jenny Jingles to check out a couple of chapters from Stuttering John's book, Easy For You To Say, where he has some choice words for Robin, KC, and Ralph. He also explains what made him to irresistible to the producers of The Tonight Show. I guess he's just a scary talent. Support us, get bonus episodes, Vic and Hannah pics, and watch live every Saturday and most Wednesdays: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
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Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. What a dick. You know what I miss being what are you talking about?
I'm the one who should apologize cuz
Cuz a row cuz a row slap a runie
It's show time. You are the episode's Williams podcast, the only show that blames Cardiff Electric for the Wildfires. We have another different episode today.
I've been spending the week moving into my new place
and it totally sucks.
This week I'd everything will be back to normal.
If you watched me on the creep off on Monday,
you saw that my internet service is less than reliable.
I bought a new router today.
I'm getting over 200 megabits per second up.
So that seems positive, who knows. Either way,
on today's show, I'm going to have my recent appearance on the Drew and Mike show as well as
my favorite bonus episodes covering, Southern John's book Easy for You to Say. A lot of you know,
every other week I do an appearance on the Drew and Mike show on a Detroit. And we cover mostly
podcasts hosted by celebrities. I was recently on there talking about
Paul Giamatti's chinwag with a very special celebrity guest
as well as Club random with Bill Marr featuring
smashing pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan.
Bill Marr has a sneaky good show as you'll hear.
He's got something going on that I like.
I think he's on to something. I've always liked Phil Meyer, but I think his podcast, he's figured
something out that a lot of people haven't. So after that, we're checking in on a
few more chapters of Suthering John's autobiography. This was part 12 that is
available on our Patreon and Supercast featuring Jenny Jingles. In this chapter,
John bashes Robin Quivers,
KC Armstrong, and Ralph Serella.
There's other things too that we cover.
If you enjoy a review of John's Bragg Fast,
that no one has ever read besides John
for the audio version, there are now 14 parts available
for anyone who subscribes to our Patreon or Supercast,
and you can find those links on who are these.com or just Google
it.
I'm sure you can figure it out.
But first, before we do that, I have to play a voicemail from one of our favorite voicemailers.
This is coming in from Gary from San Diego.
Now Gary from San Diego always has an update on what's happening with stuttering john and lately's been a little quiet because not been a lot going on with john
but wow big news happening this week
hey carl gare and sandy a go
well i got up early this morning to do like i always do
listen to howard
and uh... what's in i think the first half hour there was a call from a guy
who was talking about a problem he had with the Bellatop. And then all of a sudden he blurted
out, hey Howard did you hear about Stuttering John going to the Dodger Bay yesterday? And Howard
was startled. You know what? I don't care. And then the caller said, well, you listen to the dabble verse.
And it was obvious from listening to that call, but it was Mr. Cardiff Electric making a
shot call to a shock, shock.
Congratulations to Cardiff Electric.
You did a good plug there for the dabble verse. Congratulations again.
Whoa!
Cardiff Electric on Howard's turn because of course he did.
This guy is everywhere.
So Cardiff Electric called it into the Howard Stern show.
And I'll play that for you here.
We'll hear how this all went down.
On Howard Stern, I guess it was
Yesterday or this morning, I was just this week this happened. Oh, here's a guy says he's one of the fatso's that broke the seat
How much you wake her? Oh wow
Oh, it's Carter. It's Carter. Hi. Hi. How are you? Hey, what's up?
Yes, I'm about to 60
260. Yeah, if you wait to how tall are you?
Six two.
Yeah, you're six two two six.
Do you got the seat already?
That's like trainer on our
left.
They sent they sent him a seat so
quick.
They said this guy said an
accident waiting.
Happen.
Did you hear did you hear
Stuttering John with the Dodgers
game on the weekend?
But why would I hear that? You know, you're not following Did you hear did you hear Stuttering John with the Dodgers game on the weekend?
But why would I hear that?
You're not following the Dabbleverse?
Oh, this is my corner. I guess I guess he's trying to get a free plug for John.
All right, so that's what happened and then they hung up on him and Howard wasn't having it. He didn't want to have a conversation about Sittering John, which I'm not surprised about.
John does not get brought up on the show.
Everyone who's off that show is on the Pay No Mind list.
You're not gonna talk about Brent Hattley or Shule E. Gar, Billy West or anyone for that better.
So I think back in the day though, I think someone in the back office would have chimed in
because everyone who works on the show knows about the devil verse and they love it.
I know that for a fact.
And so it's it's disappointing that Kurt have got in.
He got to talk about studying John.
Now his angle was, did you see the John went to the Dodgers game?
John tweeted a photo of himself with his new girlfriend.
I guess he had his Yankees head on, she had her Dodgers head on,
so he was very proud of himself to be out with a female.
So that's big news in the demo, versus don't,
I don't know if that was the best way to segue
into Southern John Talk.
Now, props to Carter for gonna get in the show.
A lot of people think he could have done better.
Maybe he should have said something like,
do you know Southern John's a substitute teacher now?
And there's an entire community of fans and shows.
The endlessly rip on him for being a loser.
Maybe something like that would have gotten Howard's attention.
Either way, props to card is up, sure Howard wouldn't want
to explore Centering John info.
So I don't know if there is a right way to do it.
People are complaining.
Other people are very excited.
The card of was on Howard.
Talk about the dabble verse and talk about Centering John. I mean, I got to give him endless
props for that because this guy, I don't know what he does for a living other
than just be on the internet and call him to show his nonstop. It's insane.
Okay. That's the update. That's what I wanted to talk about. I don't have a new
show unless you are not on our Patreon.
I put out these appearances on the Drew and Mike show
every other week on our Patreon,
supercast as little mini bonuses.
I don't really talk about it too much, I should,
because it's typically close to an hour long.
It's all fresh content and original material
with my buddy's Drew Lane, Mark Fellower,
and Brandon McAfee. And we always have
a blast doing these shows. I go on there every other Tuesday. So here is my most recent appearance on
the Drew and Mike show from last week. And then after that producer Chris Jenny Jingles and yours
truly review a few more chapters of Easy for You to Say. One of the worst written books ever
worst written. Thanks for listening to who are these podcasts guys.
We'll be back to our normal format starting this weekend and moving on from
there. How are you doing?
I am doing awesome.
What's going on?
Do you have an announcement for us today?
I do have an announcement for us today as you teased on the show yesterday.
Thank God I got the stuff just in time.
But yes, tickets are now on sale for the magic bag September 15th. today as you teased on the show yesterday. Uh-huh. Thank God I got this up just in time.
But yes, tickets are now on sale for the Magic Bag September 15th.
All right.
One of these podcasts of the Drew and Mike show and Eric Zane returning to Furndale.
I'm excited.
W-ATPlive.com or there's a link on who are these.com to get the tickets last year sold out and
people showed up trying to get tickets to the door and they couldn't so get your tickets early and
often. Did it just go on sale just went on sale? It's just what sale is the first time I'm announcing I haven't even tweeted about it yet.
All right. Oh exclusive. And the the the the is some of the Zaniacs come from Western Michigan too. That's correct. All right. It would be a party. So who else is coming from from your gang?
Well, we definitely have
Vinnie producer Chris trucker Andy Jenny from the Jingle's department and
maybe others we'll see okay
well and
And as far as other things going on in the world of WATP and those crazy beef shows that you're mixed up in and a lot of people are where this
of w at p and those crazy beef shows that you're mixed up in and a lot of people are where this
chat zoom out the guy who claimed he was punched by one of anthony kumi's goons just
a month and a half ago
was stricken from
youtube and that was for snipe streaming the entire mlc podcast
without even commenting on it he was basically getting super chats occasionally he'd
say something he had brine Brian Johnson on he kept doing it.
The MLC guys got pissed. They they struck him off of YouTube. So this guy is out of his mind and then we understand he had a bicycle accident. It was in the hospital now.
Yeah, normally it does is who me as cooks episodes on someone's one and I'm one of the top see that conversation.
They really cut it out.
He put out a message saying,
I'm in the hospital and I just had a bicycle accident
and then he like veered off into plus,
I'm sensitive for Twitter and my YouTube channels now,
so I'm never gonna do a show today.
It's like we'll just pick one of those things.
What do you need?
You got hit by a car and Kevin's being mean to you.
Like pick one of my weird. Is think I'm not going to be weird.
Is somebody going to FOIA to find out
if he was in the hospital?
FOIA.
I'm sure they will because the last time he claimed
he was in the hospital, this guy, Patrick Melton,
had contacts and tampons, reached out and found out he was lying
and Chad had a confess that he was lying.
It's so bizarre.
And I posted the, so I tweeted out,
you know, his post that he put out there.
And 100% of the people who follow me did not believe Chad.
I know, I can't believe it.
That's what you said.
Of those really cool that you said to get well soon
or whatever you said,
that was very important.
It was a car end to the circumstances.
Well, I don't know what to tell you, man.
And then I, you saw this,
because I think you tweeted this out
Drew the next day, Chad decides that he's on the offensive again and he wants to get Kevin Brennan's wife fired from her job
You put out a post saying all right, we're gonna start stream sleeping again
And I'm gonna be on there and this was Monday
I'm gonna be on there and we're gonna get Kevin's wife fired and it's just like the most bizarre stuff so I had this interview with the sky ski mask
he has a show
and him and chat about some interactions in real life
where Chad got him taken off
and I don't know about some of this
I don't know about some of this crowd you're running with Carl
I know, he's a genius
but my point is is that I did this quick interview I'm gonna put it on a show
and put it up on YouTube soon but it was so crazy because what I'm, is that I did this quick interview, I'm gonna put it on a show and put it up on YouTube soon.
But it was so crazy because what I'm learning is that
Chad likes to say that, well, you know, he talks big game,
but he's not really messing with people in real life
and then it turns out that he actually is.
He's actually actively trying to people,
fired from their jobs and get their girlfriends,
fired from their jobs, it goes so deep.
Threatening doxing of individuals of potatoes.
What do Kevin's wife is a nurse?
You know, I'm not even sure what she has,
but why would he pick her?
I can't see how you get someone fired from her their job.
For what?
Because they're married to Kevin Brennan.
What do you mean?
Doesn't make any sense.
No, he's really, really kind of lost it.
But it was weird too that he talks about being in this terrible bike accident and i'm just getting
out of the hospital and then and i'm going to get an umbrella that's not a
bitch he is such a bitch i'm a little more than we can do kumi's cocks it just
didn't sound like someone who just got out of the hospital from a terrible
bike accident usually you're feeling pretty you know just kind of quiet and
wanting to come to the list but no he's just all over these
people
almost like he was never in the hospital
and he was posting that on his patreon
and saying he was still in the hospital while he was posting that
and he's sent to all
oh well
not buying it i'm not buying it
all right so uh... exciting news we have the magic bag show for
September the 15th
save the date. I would
advise get tickets early because they did sell out and people were trying to go the night
of the show and what a shame. The official pre-party for the Michigan game on Saturday at noon.
So we're going to start partying it up Friday night. Last year was a Champions Club. This year
Carl's getting to Ann Arbor and what else? Oh, is there a VIP? I know people always ask.
There is a VIP.
Yeah, so we're going to do a meet and greet before the show.
With the meet and greet, you get two beers and a show poster.
Oh, last year's show poster was amazing.
The one that Troy Smith put together.
That was awesome.
Yeah, he simplified everybody.
Yeah, I just tweeted out another one he did of our studio. I just recently did one for our show
Which was awesome. I want to get a big print of it because I thought it was so good. He's great. He's amazing
He reached out to me goes am I gonna be able to do the show poster in this year? I'm like we can
Be able to you have to
We got to get ours printed out to get it on our wall somewhere. It's really good
I was thinking maybe the Gibby poster should be in the in the Simpsons thing
People are so fascinated by the Gibby poster and he's behind you shirtless all right
Certainly a memorable event, but today on who are these podcasts?
We're talking about I know club random with Billy Corgan and Bill Marr, which I listened to
by the way, it was really pretty fascinating.
And then there was another podcast you were talking about, where are we going first?
Yeah, let's start with Paul Giamatti.
So he has a podcast that just started up in April.
This is a brand new show.
And actually I won't even introduce it.
I'll let that introduce it.
My track number one kind of explains what the show is in the format of it.
Hello and welcome to the very first inaugural episode of Chinwag with myself Paul J. Mady and my colleague Dr. Steven Asma, professor of the Chinwag.
And what does it Chinwag? Maybe you should say that.
Yeah. You should at least tell people it's like a it's a chat.
It's a conversation that may or may not go anywhere.
It's as if we were in a bar or having a nice dinner together or we were stoned in our college dorm room.
That's right. But kind of conversation that's all over the map could be any crazy thing.
Like this intro. Well, at least they're not pretending to be one of those shows. We're going to interview all the, all the biggest people who do all the podcasts, of course,
and ask them questions they've never heard before when they really don't do that at all.
I mean, they seem to be copying the fact that they're phoning it in Carl, right?
Yeah, I'm sorry, that's a good way to put it.
Phoning it in.
He's like, shit, what does that mean?
Well, it means that you're at the mercy of our shitty smell talk.
Right.
It's not so amazing, guys. Well, it means that you're at the mercy of our shitty smeltock. Right. It waits.
It sounds amazing, guys.
And why do you think they're doing this podcast?
Isn't that a fair question?
That is a fair question.
I don't know.
It's Paul Giamatti.
Is he aging out of Hollywood, maybe?
I don't know.
He has huge roles.
Yeah, he's got, I would think the guy would be loaded.
Yeah, he's got a net worth of like 30 million bucks.
This guy doesn't need to do anything.
Is he married? Maybe he wants to get out of the house. Wait, does the second guy need worth of like 30 million bucks. This guy doesn't need to do it. Is he married?
Maybe he wants to get out of the house.
Wait, does the second guy need money?
Because there's a second guy in the show.
The doctor?
Stephen Asma?
Could have been.
I don't know, maybe he's a friend.
No one's last name is Asma.
No, I agree with that.
So it might be one of those things
where they get talked into it because the agent says,
you know, this is everyone's doing a podcast now.
Yeah, you have your name out there.
So they get talked into it and they're like,
oh, it'll be fun.
You'll have celebrity guests side.
It'll be great.
This will probably pod fade by July.
Is it part of a network?
I don't think so.
Oh, okay.
No, no.
In fact, it's got its own website and everything.
That's even all in.
That's really unusual.
I was thinking it was part of a network
that maybe his agent owned or something.
It almost sounds like he wants to do it.
No one wants to.
I just, I hate the idea that our show format is no format at all.
I find that such a cop out.
That's bizarre.
It's pretty weak.
All right.
I am excited to introduce to you.
They're very first guests by Track Double T. You guys are gonna get excited about this.
That's okay.
Our very special guest today, Mr. Billy Bob Thornton,
they very talented Academy Award-winning actor
and screenwriter.
We know who he is.
And out of sight musician, in fact,
he'll be touring the US and Europe this summer
with his band The Box Masters.
But we are about to go deep.
Guys, the reason why he's out of sight is musicians, because no one's there watching
him play music.
I like that he had like interrupt because we all know Billy Bob gets about his music.
Yeah.
Raise him.
Or else he gets very obsessed.
It's like, all right, this guy you probably saw in all these movies, you know, about
him.
It's like, yeah, but he's also a musician.
Make sure you stay on buddy.
So so Billy Bob Thornton is there to promote his music.
That's why he's doing all right.
Does that all the time?
You know, he's good to angry.
That's why he replies like this.
You wouldn't say that to Tom, Patty, would you?
Oh God, that was stupid.
That was really lame.
You've heard his music obviously.
Yeah.
I think we've interviewed him about his music.
Oh no, okay.
I saw him too. He opened for, I think it've interviewed him about his music. I know. I saw him too.
He opened for, I think it was Willie Nelson.
And they were okay, but I don't know why he's so serious about his music, because they
weren't that great.
Okay, are the two perfect letters to describe this, because his songwriting guitar playing
and singing is so mediocre.
Peri's on the top penny is in raging. I'm really curious to hear what
these guys have to talk about Carl. What are we going with the sides, Billy's music. Yeah.
Paul and Billy Bob shot a movie and I guess they stayed in this hotel in Dallas while they
were shooting this movie and the hotel was haunted. Oh gosh.
So we're going to get into some deep ghost talk and of course you know track number three
here you're going to hear that Billy Bob's had a lot of experiences with ghosts.
Ghosts don't creep me out exactly unless they sort of surprise you or stick around for a while.
Well then I was.
What?
The way he describes ghosts is like when there's a spider in the corner.
Yeah.
The way the people just like that.
And he's fine.
And then you're like, by week three, you're like, what's he up to over there?
I don't know.
I don't like it.
I like those Casper ghosts.
They don't usually surprise you.
I mean, anything but talk about the great movies and roles he's had and some of the fantastic
lines and people he's worked with in his wife.
Anything but that, yeah, or his ex-wife.
Really?
You can't give us what we would just love to hear.
They can't go anywhere near there.
No, they got to talk about nonsense.
And by the way, it gets worse and worse.
It has to be like, nonsense, it doesn't go. You just heard Billy Bob Thornton say, it's worse and worse. It has to go. Not that it doesn't go. No.
You just heard Billy Bob Thornton say,
it's lots of experiences with ghosts,
and usually it's cool, but sometimes it's not.
So in my track number four,
he's gonna get into it a little bit more here.
Because I've had a lot of experiences with ghosts,
and so have my wife, my daughter, my mother,
okay.
And, but they're crazy things.
I know I feel somehow that I think if you let yourself go with it, that maybe it's
easier because to let it in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, that's interesting.
And let me just ask, have you literally had the experience of literally seeing a person
who's there who's not there.
I have not.
Okay.
But I've only experienced sounds and voices, sounds voices and knowing somebody's walking
up the stairs behind you and you actually hear them walking up the stairs.
Paul Giamatti has to go with this?
Like, this is really something he wants to talk about.
Uh-huh. Yeah.
You're going to hear that more and more drew
where Paul like, have to go log with this.
If I had a friend who talked like this,
I'd probably hang out with him less.
He just goes, oh, it's like, this is just such a like,
okay, you're a weirdo.
I'd hang out less with the, uh-huh, uh-huh.
Okay, too. Uh-huh.
Uh-huh. We need that, Dr. Uh-huh. Uh-huh uh-huh guy too We need that drive
He just wanted to be because he ever seen a ghost he goes no, but they follow me up the stairs of dive sure
No, I've never seen a ghost, but I've heard them
Don't think that turned fast they duck out of the way. So I can't see that by the way
That's interesting line was pretty insincere
You guys know how I feel about actors
If they're if they're reading something that somebody else wrote that they're great that that's awesome if they're just talking out the cuff
They're idiots. Yeah, they have nothing to say well. They feel like everything they say is so important, too, because they've read such
important words that people love.
Correct.
When they get into you, it's very hot. Women, so that helps their self-esteem as well.
Yeah, right.
No, it seems so special when they truly give a great interview and talk about the stuff
you really want to hear about, because they so rarely do it.
Yeah.
So in my next track here, you heard him say
that he hasn't had experience actually seeing a ghost
before, but he used to live in a 13,000 square foot mansion
in Beverly Hills, and it was built in 1925.
So of course, that's probably pretty haunted,
I would imagine.
Of course.
So other people have seen it.
It looks like we have a ghost for brand.
It was sitting there city to you totally disappeared
track five right carl yes
all and our housekeeper
and my wife both saw this guy in the dining room there really and my son and i
both
heard and had the same experience with a voice
when we were a white separate times, you know.
Yeah, bullshit.
Uh-huh.
Poor Paul Jimi.
He's poor Paul Jimi.
It's his show.
You know what I'm on.
You know, it's just so sad that he can't just go,
you know, when I'm just going to complete
the changes to object here, because very few can even relate
this.
Where were you?
Oh, sorry, I didn't make a call. Oh, you everything okay? Yeah, okay. We thought there was a ghost
I thought it was you
Well, we're about the phone call
No, it was just trying to seamlessly join back in and then just screech it to all well
No, it's kind of weird when you you disappeared from the picture. Yeah
You you were there and then the next shot you were gone. Yeah, the timing was kind of odd. Now, where do you want to phone call? Next time on the podcast, I'm going
to be talking about this. Have you seen it go? Yeah. Last time I was on the drone mic
shot. He's hairy. Oh, Lord. Okay. All right, guys. So what's happening here is now Paul
Jimati feels a need to go along with this. No, no. So now he's gonna start talking about like his experiences.
I guess his mother passed away when he was young.
I don't know what that has to do with that.
He has to do that.
When that's for a baseball commissioner,
Bartlett, Gianmatti.
That's how he started.
I'm almost positive, yeah.
I had a lot of these crazy experiences, ghosts
and weird, precognitive things.
I could tell the, you know,
what song was
gonna be on the radio turn the radio on the phone was about the ring the phone
would bring and I know who was gonna be calling and stuff and I think it's
because I was very depressed
what what what what what's up to the ghost no I just have to say if I was going
through that I would play blackjack
You can't just say pre-cognitive and think that suddenly we're just gonna believe everything because you use the big word It was too depressed. I love the fact that he could predict what song was gonna be on the radio
Oh, it's 1984. It's gonna be thriller
It's not that there's like 12 songs in a radio format these days too.
Forder. I do it.
Now, what I like about this show, thankfully, because every podcast that was new
were three people who agree with each other, I get very annoyed with.
So thankfully, there's some balance here.
Steven Asma is going to step in and explain that.
Maybe they have an open heart to ask.
You mean Dr. Stephen Asma.
All right.
But is it possible that you guys are,
I'll play the skeptic here.
You guys are actors.
And like maybe, you know, creative people,
maybe are more imagination prone.
Like you, not instead of delusion,
but maybe you see the world through your imagination
That was the beautiful walking on eggshell moments. You guys are fucking insane
Well, he'd be basically said you're delusional. Yeah, I'm not saying you're delusional, but maybe you're delusional
Possibility it was great. I love Dr. Asma Anyone who's helping keeping this conversation going is my enemy.
For some reason, it needs to change.
It's ridiculous.
Oh, well guess what, Drew, it does change and for the worst.
I know.
I cannot believe, I cannot believe that we
start talking about dreams.
Oh, no.
I can't think of a more boring topic than someone
explaining the dreams that they had.
And Billy Bob used
to have these dreams where he was flying and he wants to tell you all about it.
It was a recurring thing for a period of a couple of years.
And then it kind of went away.
I wish it had come back, but I had the ability to, I couldn't fly.
It's not like I started flapping my wings on a flu. I had the ability to jump up couldn't fly, it's not like I started flapping my wings and I flew.
I had the ability to jump up, I felt light as a balloon.
I could jump up and float around the house,
and look down, and, or I could be out of the field.
I could jump up and I could be able to trees and birds,
or I could see everything, but it didn't last.
After a while, I would start to sink back
down and then I would jump again but I was totally in control of getting off the ground and going up there
this could fly uh-huh uh-huh uh listen shut up for a second
pelting about his interjections are the best amazing amazing amazing dream if it was even a dream
I don't believe anything believe Bob is saying nothing. Oh bullshit. He's not credible
I have to tell you I've actually had this specific dream where I'm able to jump up and see
But you didn't know that about me. You know why? I've never talked about it on a podcast
No, and I don't want to know it. And nobody cares. Nobody wants to know your dream
that probably isn't real at all.
And you might be making it up.
We all have crazy dreams.
All right, and we don't have to share them.
It's fine.
So he goes out and out about dreams.
He has his child and all the recurring dreams
he still has.
Now it's insane.
And then never does that.
It's like everything he says is interesting.
So they're like, whoa, what? Crazy. Here's a perfect example. My track never does that. It's like everything says is interesting. So they're like, wow, what?
Crazy.
Here's a perfect example of my track, Never Night here.
And then I turn, I look back at the ladder
and I start climbing the ladder again
and I keep doing that.
Wow.
That's like, shit.
No, shit.
Yeah.
And then at some point, I either wake up
or the dream dissolves or whatever.
But yeah, I'm not over it. And know that's a more you've had that more recently
don't
oh my god
wow
just a little indulgent are we Billy
I'm not quit podcasting I don't know
I can tell he's a pretty good like he likes to affirm the story though. He's really good at that
Billy Bob thinks that everything he says is interesting. Yeah, sure. Yeah, indulgent
Yeah, just a little a lot so then
Paul Jim honey tries to out crazy Billy
But this is my track time because I have a kind of notion that
dead people continue to evolve and change and exist
wherever the hell they are. And that, you know, that, and your relationship in them, this is crazy.
I'm saying something really crazy. But in your relationship to them can continue to evolve,
and that they're still growing somewhere. And so when you see them in your dreams, they're
telling you something,
it may not necessarily be clear when it is.
But boy, I sound really crazy.
Was he trying to make it about him?
I honestly, I think what Paul was trying to do
there was trying to make Billy Bob feel comfortable
for him all this ridiculousness.
He's like, oh yeah, I think all that crazy shit too, man.
Yeah.
Oh boy. And that's where I tapped out out and this is like 40 minutes into the show
This entire show is just about ghost stories and dreams. I was like this is insane
What a waste when those guys have lots of things I'd love to hear them talk about none of that
none of it
Well, it's interesting because I was actually we were playing a podcast
of True Crime podcast on the creep off this week and these women were quitting the show
and they were kind of disappointed that it didn't work out. We were kind of hoping this
would take off. This would be our full-time job. It didn't happen. They go, but you know,
I'm not surprised because most podcasters were celebrities to begin with. That's how they become big.
Oh, which is true, but not true crime.
That's not true.
I never fails before they start.
So that's not true.
But she doesn't have a point there because if you think about it, what we just listened to,
if that wasn't Paul Giamatti, Billy Bumpfurtler, no way.
We never want to burn this.
No, not in a million years. A million years, there would be like nonsense
that five people would have downloaded, never looked at that.
Wow.
All right, so Bill Mar, you keep going back to Bill Marb.
I personally love Bill Marb's podcast,
and the reason why I love it so much
is because he gets his guest shit-faced,
and I'm telling you, Carl had some clips on
when he had Richard Drifus on.
And the guy is literally just wasted like,
falling out of his chair, yeah, slumped over.
He just wasted it.
I like that in the podcast.
And talking about banging his sister.
They're wanting to beating off to his sister.
Something like that.
Oh my God, it was horrible.
He said you ever have a movie make out kiss
with your sister?
No, I was like, no.
What?
Ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha.
So I honestly think that Bill, I like Bill Marto.
And I like his show.
There's some weird things about it for sure.
But yeah, exactly.
He hangs out in his man cave with another guy.
And they smoke weed.
They smoke cigars and they drink hard liquor and
The lights are down and they probably can't even see the cameras are there so everyone just lets their guard down
And I created this on my show the other day
It's kind of like what Howard's turned used to be how are you to get people to open up and say things
They wouldn't say anywhere else and it would make news because you're like whoa
Who would that person sleep with or whatever?
Bill Mars kind of picked that up a little bit.
And he has a different approach to it, obviously.
But so he had Billy Corgan on the show.
And Billy Corgan's an interesting guest.
I'm really, really angry.
We have a lot of bills tonight.
This is my theme for this week.
People think this is not just random.
No.
We got Billy Bob Thornton, Bill Mire, and Billy Corgan tonight.
Bill Week.
It's Bill Week over here.
So let's start off with my clip number 11,
and this is a video clip as well,
but they're talking about Rod Stewart,
and it's so funny,
because every generation of people remembers the story.
Yeah.
Remember this story about when we were kids?
Remember that story?
That they pumped Se me out of him
Yeah, before no before I ever knew who rods it was I heard people would say did you hear about rod Stewart?
I'm like first I don't know who rod Stewart is. So my first connection to rod Stewart was hearing this
This apocryphal story about the gallon of common rod
But I feel like that's bullshit talk with a story about the gal in a common rod that
i feel like that's bullshit
that
that
that
that that's
that i was a gal in a cop
that that that that
was funny as bill is even pausing just fits it right out you know exactly what
he's talking about
and as far as pumping stomach as a woman ever had to have her stomach pump because she blew too many people has done that many I
mean I guess we don't really want to know because we like the story to live so
we just assume that occasionally it happens who is hilarious though that this
story has made the rounds everywhere in the world everywhere the world knows
this story here to segment this on wtp the other day because when I was a kid
the rumor was about one of the like the new kids on the block had to have their...
That's true.
And I...
The rumor is true.
The rumor?
Yeah, Jordan Knight.
Really?
Oh, I don't know.
No, it's Jonathan.
I think it's because when I was that age,
every cute girl had a poster of the new kids
on the block of their locker.
It's like, you know those kids are gay, right?
Right.
But remember the best part about it Drew?
Who's Rod's wife?
Was it Rachel Hunter?
Rachel Hunter.
Yeah, she came into our studio and I asked her about it
and she laughed hard because she knew about it
way before she knew Rod Stewart.
Yeah, which she thought it was hilarious.
She mean Rod knows about it.
Of course.
Yeah, that's right.
Just like Richard Geer knows about that gerbil in his ass.
But that's true.
Isn't the Richard Geer gerbil thing just as big almost?
Oh yeah, in true.
What do you suppose is the basis for the Richard Geer thing?
Just because he was so hot and somebody's like,
that fucking guy gets all the women.
I think it's just what Carl said regarding those new kids on the block.
I think that there was a lot of women who found Richard Geer attractive.
And some dudes like, that guy gerbils in his ass.
Did they have to put a gerbil in his ass?
Couldn't they have just made him get a stomach pumped or something?
That was already taken.
You're right.
As Rod's girl.
I'm sorry, of course.
I did inspire the Lemmy Wings episode of South Park.
Yeah, I also want to say this.
I heard the way the Rod Stewart, Rod Stewart story went that he blew the U.S.
C. football team. And I have no idea to anybody else here that. say this, I heard the way the Rod Stewart, Rod Stewart story went that he blew the USC football
team. And I have no idea. Anybody else here that? Oh, you're the only person I've ever
heard. The football teams gave to or they got blown. We just loved having a rock star
blow than I think. They just, they were the Peter, their ace. They lined up with the Colosseum at midfield.
It was right after Wayne.
All right, this next clip, I think,
the group, everybody went over another name.
Go celebrate with Stuart's house.
Carl save us.
True, so you said you watched this episode,
so you might know what I'm gonna be setting up here here. Apparently you and Bill Mar have something in common. And when he tells the story,
I'm going to be curious to know if you had a similar experience or not.
Oh, interesting. I happen to go to college at Ithaca, New York at Cornell, where it was
the hub for where speed came in. And our pot, we were pot dealers,
but when our dealer got something,
we sold whatever he had.
That's the way it worked.
We were the low man on the, you know.
So I remember getting this speed,
crystal meth and crystal pens.
There were two types.
I've never had it since college.
I looked for it when I got out of college.
It didn't exist.
But the like four or five speed trips I took in college. I've never had a drug experience that good
I mean you one very painful snort in each nostril and you were just flying for 12 hours
Problem is then you couldn't sleep and I remember like just being up for like 24 hours
Not similar couldn't sleep. And I remember like just being up for like 24 hours. Just watch the pages. This is not similar.
Because you could talk over the very end there.
Well, he goes on to say, yeah, he was up for 24 hours straight and he said he was
masturbating.
The master master.
And I will be sometime that he literally goes.
He thinks he jerked out 24 times in the 24 hours.
They can't believe his dicted and fall off.
So that wasn't your experience.
No, it was not my experience. And I did not live at the hub of the drug movement. times in the twenty four hours they can't believe is dictated and fall off so that wasn't your experience
that was not my experience and i did not live at the hub of the drug movement
i was in blackberg virginia so
the the
the crystal meth or
the crank that i smoke was probably not that good
that's neither here nor there true i mean
i i think the fact that it got Bill very horny and he couldn't
fall asleep is really what we want to know.
Yeah, I don't remember honestly. I don't remember either one of those things, but I don't remember
that. Well, I do remember I liked it enough to do it again a couple more times with my
buddy Andy, but I don't think there were any chicks around and I don't think I don't
think the horning is part really. I don't know is anybody else smoked that stuff? No. No.
I do remember being I do remember being annoying on my nostril i do recall that
part because i think we did snorted
once your twice
maybe
uh... this is a
program
cranking
there were more than one there were like three i think
as far as drugs go i believe that crystal that is a strong one
uh...
but i i just don't remember being up for a whole day
or anything like that, it wasn't that big a deal.
Probably is because I wasn't in Ithaca,
I was in Blackburg, so we probably got something
that was stepped on.
By the way, I live near Ithaca and trust me,
everything stepped out of here.
I think we had us at the point.
The point is, we go on to talk about the rock star lifestyle and Billy Corgan's talking all about how you know
girls throw themselves at you and
even the
Rodies will go into the crowd and pick out hot sticks of it. If you blow me I can bring it backstage
He's telling all these crazy stories and I'm but by the way, this is an entertaining episode. I enjoyed it
Yeah, so then Bill Marr goes out to talk about he's just like,
why are these rock stars getting married? That's for suckers.
Almost all the rock stars get married.
You know, like it must be either.
Oh, I see where you're going with that.
Well, I don't know where I'm going with that because I'm not sure whether it's because
well, I've just had all the pussy I could possibly get,
which is ridiculous, because every day you're alive,
you're a new, you know, it's a new day.
I mean, it's like saying, I've had all the food I can have,
eat, no, no, because I'm alive tomorrow,
and I'll need it again.
I get all the way things,
but the difference is you need new food every day,
you don't need new pussy every day.
Yeah.
Yeah, we can find a new cuisine right maybe you uh... try french for a while
and then go back to the party
that's a good point i don't want to talk to every day
wasn't uh... billy corking kind of a fun governor
with his rodies i mean this guy's could go out and use backstates, passes to get chicks.
And he's like, oh, but not our roadies.
Everybody else's roadies did it, but not ours.
Yeah, Billy Corgan.
So he has this interesting story because his father was a drug addict and a drug dealer
growing up.
So Billy Corgan didn't like drugs and didn't want to do drugs until he got, I guess I
knew it was early 20s, so I'm not too, but yeah, he did say that.
And now if you know anything about the smashing pumpkins, there was a lot of drug use and abuse
and there were some issues and I think that they had a deal with some shit.
So I think Billy was probably not as lenient as like maybe the Motley crew guys when
I came to touring.
But he sounded like a cop blocker.
I mean, I wouldrun cop blocker.
He even blocked his own cock
because he'd rather stay up all night talking to a girl
than having sex at Bill Marys.
Like, what, what are you talking about?
What was so exciting and he couldn't say it.
He's like, that's not silly.
Well, no.
And he just made himself sound so intellectual at times,
I thought.
He always does.
Like Billy Corgan always does. He always tries to be the smartest guy in the room
Yeah, Billy Corgan. I like him as an interview because he's not trying to be someone he isn't yeah, that's true
Yeah, he's kind of a huge bag and it kind of comes out that way
Oh, sorry, I'm not just gonna say he'll talk. He loves talking about wrestling, which is kind of fun
He loves cats, so he'll talk. He loves talking about wrestling, which is kind of fun. He loves cats. He loves cats.
So he is who he is.
When he talks about,
not wanting to be objectified by a woman,
you know, who just likes his music and wants to fucking
because he's his musician,
oh come on,
this is gonna be a jack-to-fi get outta here.
I mean, that's really, that's real serious fun governing.
That's lame, but he's also talked about seeing shape shifters.
I've seen them on the Howard Sturd show. I'm not sure if there's a reality seen them. Well, he also
took 25 hits of acid. That one story. I told one Mars. So I should probably go on Paul
Giamatti show. Maybe he will. But then referral for them. They need him. Wow. Amazing. We're going to change gears real quick.
Then we'll come right back to it.
My track number 14, so there's an ad bad and Bill reads three ads.
And this one is very odd.
I've never heard a podcast or read an ad like this.
I think a house ad, I guess.
I'm not sure.
Club random is brought to you by the audio marketing gurus
at radioactive media.
If you're responsible for marketing your company nationally,
how are you growing your business?
Don't just Google and social media.
When you can harness the power of audio and video
and partner with shows like mine
and an elevate your brand in a space
away from your competitors.
The team at radioactive media can get you there.
They create campaigns airing nationally on podcasts, terrestrial, satellite, and streaming
radio.
Radioactive Media has over 35 years experience in the field of audio marketing, and they
can create a customizable campaign for your company's needs, just like they've done
for hundreds of great companies, including
ones you've seen here, like Signal Wire, heat holders, and wine enthusiast.
Not a good less.
You want to say like, I don't know, Ford or something.
The Joe Rogan show, yeah, GM.
Now, I'm just saying like, when he says, like, these are the companies that we work with.
Yeah. After all, now coming to have even heard of. So, I these are the companies that we work with. Yeah.
I've thrown out company that I've even heard of.
So, I don't know that's a good.
Also, the term, I play there for you guys.
I thought you would get a kick out of you've been in radio.
I've been in marketing.
The idea of audio marketing, you mean radio ads?
Radio ads.
Yes.
That's just trusted out more than it is.
Radio ads are not.
Radio that embarrassing that you have to call it audio marketing now.
I guess so.
Oh, yes. I guess so.
Oh, yes.
Oh, boy.
But isn't that what was that an ad?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So this is the target audience for this is someone an agency or someone high up at a marketing
role and a company that's making these decisions on who to work with for advertising.
I don't know.
It just seems like such a niche audience.
Probably bartered.
They were looking for an ad budget,
somebody to give them their ad budget
and spend it on audio marketing, right?
Exactly, yes.
There's probably four people in that audience,
all of them were going, what the fuck are you kidding?
And those are your biggest accounts.
Get out of here.
And they used to be the target for this messaging.
This I was a partner at a digital marketing agency.
So I would have heard this have been like,
I don't give a shit.
There's no way I would have known any of my clients
to work for a free deal active advertising.
And they just spent a shit ton of money to be on Bill Marshall.
That had been expensive spot, right?
Well, it was a barter.
Yeah, because obviously they're representing his show. So maybe there's something going on. Anyway, I to be on Bill Marshall. That had to be an expensive spot, right? Well, it was a barter, yeah, because obviously
they're representing his show.
So maybe there's something going on.
Anyway, I just thought they was out.
They were so unaware.
At least Bill seemed to be really into the product.
He did.
Really, I think so.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I like he was just reading it.
Yeah, look to me like he was asked how's he going.
Yeah, exactly.
He was.
Yeah, he was.
I wish he should have taped it, right?
Well, he didn't stumble at least.
No, he's a pro.
He's a pro, he's a pro.
Yeah, he is.
All right, let's get back to the fun stuff.
So, track 15, Billy's father, as I said,
was a drug dealer who sold co-carrow in a weed.
And so we're talking about that.
So I was living like a really bad Tarantina movie
all the time.
Right.
And we had guns in the house, we had stolen lawn mowers.
You know what I mean?
It was a weird, it wasn't Sanford and Son.
You know what I mean?
It was like it was weird.
All right.
Two things here.
First off, what was a bad Tarantino movie?
What do you mean it was like a bad Tarantino movie?
I'm used by that.
But also, I've known a lot of drug dealers over my time.
None of them had a collection of stolen lawn mowers to buy mowers.
That's pretty quirky.
It was a crime of opportunity.
They lived near some mower shop.
I was stealing that.
I don't even know how to say about it.
It's so weird.
Yeah, Bill Murs too sedated to be like,
what do you mean?
You know, because a lot of them just could fly up
because he's just like tricking his scotch
and smoking a cigarette.
He's like, yeah, all right, cool man.
It's so cool.
So I love the show.
I know, it's kind of funny.
So this is great because Billy has a good guest.
Billy tells funny stories and he knows to be succinct
with them.
I don't know if he is like training.
He probably does media training or something.
So he's gonna tell a story.
They're talking about Bob Denver, you know,
Gilligan.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah, I'm gonna get an island.
Well man.
No.
Billy says, oh, I have a story for that.
And I just want you to check this out
because Bill Margibs him nothing.
I can't tell you Bob Denver story? Bob Denver, I know exactly.
Yes. The play Gilligan. Oh, I know. So at one point, this is a slightly convoluted story, but I'll
be quick about it. We had this woman who worked for us in the mid-90s whose name was Seven McDonald.
She was Country Joe in the fish Country Joe McDonald's daughter. Oh, and her name
was seven. And if you asked her how she got her name, she said, because my dad smoked seven joints
that day. That's so. So at some point is you do sitting in a tour bus, the Bob Denver's name came up
for some fucking reason. And she goes, oh, I used to live next door to Bob Denver. You know, say, you know,
this is pretty internet. You know, so you know, we're desperate for any information on Bob Denver.
Right. We got the inside scoop on Mr. Denver. She's like, yeah, he was always depressed because he
couldn't get any jobs post-gill again. Right. And, and he just used to sit in the backyard and
smoke, join after joint, and just look kind of bummed out.
And oh, by the way, he had monkeys
and they used to jerk off all the time.
So that was our.
Monkeys too.
Is that a good story?
Yes, monkeys too.
We're really proud of you.
He was really Bill Martin to say something.
He was like, yeah, that's what monkeys do.
That's a good story, though, right?
That was a great story.
Can I tell a Bob Denver story? that was an odd thing did believe you
prep for this
i don't know i mean that i thought that he was a great gas did you think so
yeah i don't know i thought he was a good guest i mean he may because that's a weird thing to just say
can i tell a bob denver story and then he tells the story gets nothing is like is that a good story
i love bill's reaction to the story was like uh...
yeah
and i'm leaning over the table to grab something
there's the look at his face right there
it's worth watching on the youtube channel to see bills reaction just on that
clip
i have a body of a youtube channel yeah you should see the other one
yeah please subscribe
i have a bob denver story by the way
you know we were in a group of Denver and he was talking about his boat and we're like, what you have a boat really? And he said, yeah, and and Mike
Essin will what kind of boat and he's like, oh, yeah, it's great. I love it and then he mentioned that my cast one kind of
Of course he did he was contributing. He was just trying to help and he mentioned though that the only time
He hated it was when he's backing into the slip and go like oh no it's Gilligan backing into the slip
and it just sounded like every asshole would do that to him and
skipper's pretty funny
he's probably wearing the hat because he wanted to be recognized that
i'm sure he was
no i was a sad story though he really didn't do much after Gilligan's island
he was don't be gill too, which was another big share.
Before that.
Yeah.
Let's be complaining about.
So, I appreciate Billy bringing that up.
We're going to find out why Bill didn't have a reaction to the story.
He's going to explain it to my last track here.
That's very common.
You cannot go to a monkey cage where they shouldn't even have an enzo without seeing them jerking off. That's right, Kahn. I mean, you cannot go to a monkey cage where they shouldn't even have an in zoo without
seeing them jerking off.
I mean, that's a very, that's a...
Believe it or not, I started interrupting you.
Believe it or not, I was once at a zoo, and these were these little kids, and they were
trying to get the monkeys' attention.
The monkey was, as we say, in wrestling, no-celling them.
The monkey was just like this.
And the kids were doing everything they can
to get his attention.
He was like this.
It's true story.
They do that.
So finally, they did something
and have to get the monkey's attention
and he looked at him and he started jerking off.
And when they got to go horrified, he went.
And he started laughing at them.
He was like, he figured out the routine
that if I do the jerking off thing and they get scared and I get to laugh, it was quite brilliant.
Bill's not giving him anything. He's got a follow up monkey jerking off story. He gets nothing
for it. Yeah, Bill is really trying. I got to give it to him. So that bill says I have a Bob
Dadver story because I guess he just wants to tell his Bob that bill says I have a Bob Denver story.
I guess he just wants to tell his Bob Denver.
Everyone has a Bob Denver story.
How can you not want to tell a Bob Denver story?
Precisely.
So he says, yeah, so Bob Denver lived in North Carolina.
And he loved weed.
This is in the 90s.
It was hard for him to get weed.
So he's having people malatume.
And the feds busted him for getting weed set to his house by Mary Ann.
Yeah, I remember that.
I remember that story.
Yes.
Didn't...
Where did we call him?
Did...
Was there a call to Mary Ann or Bob after that story that you got all...
Or maybe Don Wells?
Yeah, I think when Don Wells came in, we talked about it and she was really cool.
She was a real sweetheart.
She was...
She was that character all the way. Yeah. She really was. It's funny that show man still lives on. It wasn't on that long either.
We had virtually every person from that show come in or on the doing a phone interview at some point.
Most came in. You know what? Because they had nothing else to do.
And also because the Viper's hockey team which was what level hockey was at the i.e.l. the Turner Cup the coveted Turner Cup.
Do you remember they brought the Turner Cup in?
I do when the drunky hockey players that nobody knew came in with the Turner Cup.
Those guys are great though.
But they would always bring in old TV stars to drop the first puck and then sign autographs
between periods and so they love the Gilligan's Island and the Beverly Hillbillies people because we got Donna, Donna Douglas and the Baywatch people,
the Baywatch people all came in from that, Donna Di'Erako came in for that.
Oh, yeah.
In Patrick Warburton, buddy.
Oh, yeah.
That's why buddy left his watch.
He left his watch.
Memories.
As I was at the AHL game last night, the roster Americans playing the Hershey Bears and the conference finals
Unfortunately, nothing after two the bears came back and wandered three to one of the series
I'm not liking our chances of the colder cup finals this year. What cup?
The colder cup
Excuse me, you know the Turner cup and not the colder cup. I don't
Did you know the Turner cup Carl? No, I'm Cup. I don't. Did you know the Turner Cup, Carl?
No, I'm not familiar with the eye, I feel better.
Anyway, guys, this is shoehorned in,
but I always have mental notes when I listen to your show.
And things I think about,
I'm like, I gotta talk to them about that next time
I'm on the show.
And most of them by the time I get to the show,
I get to the show, I get to the end part.
So I just, I want to go.
Well, such as, what are they?
Well, there's one thing that really stuck with me that I wanted to point out and it has to do with the Britney Spears
Thing you guys were talking about yesterday where you know, she she puts out these posts on social media my tits
Right, it does a good job of reading them something. I think I'm listening to Britney read them herself and
She does this thing at the end where she does a PS
And she does this thing at the end where she does a PS but then she does a PSS for the PSS And so PSS for post script and it's it's it's
It's a PPS and then PPPPS
Post script
I know she's an idiot and there's a lot of reasons to think that she's more on but that's one one thing, like, you guys gloss over and I'm like, this is a PSS! Yes!
I guess we've read him so many times we're used to.
I love it, that's a great point.
That was well worth mentioning.
Because I never, I did it completely glossed over,
I glossed over me anyway.
Yes, fuck you!
Oh my, she always gets some time though, doesn't she?
She's all we talk about in fact.
I know.
We already talked about her once today too.
I keep thinking she's gonna go away.
I really do.
I think I'm not worried about talking about her too much
because I assume that she's, is she ever gonna go away?
No.
I mean, not until she dies, which might be soon.
Isn't everyone gonna get sick of her?
Isn't TMZ gonna even move on?
Cause I see stories about her.
You know she moves the needle.
You know people click on it. She's into a lisa monelle type of
i've been saying stories about her lately where there's like six comments
where there used to be a thousand that's kind of an indicator to me slowing down
but
i could they they're gonna still go to that well because she still gets clicks
well she also made up with her mom which is a good story arc you gotta keep the
story going
no i know this from watching these podcasts
that I'm in the middle of now, is you got to like,
hey, Chad, Zubak, and then he's your buddy again,
then he's your man of the big guys.
He's got to keep this thing going.
Yeah.
Carl, I have an interesting question.
I wanted to ask you this, and I completely forgot
about the other day.
The fighter and the kid.
OK, is that Brendan Shaw and Kallen? Yeah, Brian Callan. Yeah. Okay, is anyone else on that
show? No, they there was a time when Brian Callan was in trouble
and he was off the show and they brought him to other people,
but now there's just those two again. Okay, anyway, I was
looking at their their YouTube and they're doing like 40,000
views, which is really good. I mean, we've... the best thing we have is davel and out who has
like twenty two thousand was more so excited we're beside ourselves
those guys have been a long time they used to get hundreds of thousands of
use they're down to like forty thousand and the other show the golden hour
is i think down to about a hundred thousand days to do seven eight hundred
thousand when the old vahn was part of that
i assume the christ delia thing might have something to do with it is something happening there with
christaliyah do you have any sense for that?
are you well yes for sure with christaliyah and my buddy boy and mic goes deep on that kind of stuff
and i'm and i were talking about who are these socials the other day i want to get him back on wtp
to get into that because i think you guys, actually,
Drew, I heard this from you.
You were talking about how you're watching a show
watching the Golden Hour and Chris get his phone
and realizing the Rolling Stone article came out,
like at a real time his phone was just like,
oh shit.
Yes.
That was it.
I thought I was.
There were a few shows that actually broke that down.
Exactly the time that that was being taped,
exactly the time when Rolling Stone's story came out
and there's Chris DeLio looking at his phone and he cannot take his eyes off his phone.
They're recording for another half an hour and I think one of them even says,
Chris, what's going on in your phone for Christ's sake because paying no attention to the show?
Oh, area. So I want to dive more into that because the fact that Christel has a career
surprising to me based on the allegations
that all these people have come out
and talked about what he's done.
But you know what I think it is though true?
Part of it at least is the fact that
they got onto YouTube and we're doing a YouTube show
before all the other podcasts kind of caught onto that.
I mean, you've recognized this, I've recognized this.
Where it's like, you need to have a YouTube presence
and you'll set your major show, you're at least have a YouTube presence. And you know, it's not your major show.
You're at least putting clips up there or maybe you're just streaming the show,
just like you're putting out a podcast.
And so there's just way more things to watch now. People are subscribing to so many different shows that I think that those guys are
boring. They don't talk about anything.
Nothing happens on the show.
It's just like hanging out with your buddies kind of style podcasts,
which gets boring and you get old.
So you'd rather watch it this morning.
They're not that funny.
The Joe Rogan thing, which I guess is what launched them.
I mean, how long can that keep a show,
you know, standing on two feet?
Well, only for so long because it has to,
people will not invest in a show for years and years
and years if it's not delivering.
That show doesn't, in my opinion,
deliver a whole lot of comedy.
Now, Chris Delia is a pretty funny guy but i mean he's really pushing it about as far as you can go
why for example luis ck why is he pretty much shunned and crystal isnt what's the difference
that odd because yeah if you think about like seris silverman and some of these people came out
and even said yeah he did that to me but i thought it was funny. He asked my permission. I said sure. Sometimes
I said no. He said there were a few people who are really, really angry and their response
to people making the accusation back in the day was almost unforgivable. It was terrible.
I agree. But Chris D'Alea has done worse and more women, younger, some underage. I mean
it's just the worst story.
Well, it doesn't have his initials tattooed
on any women as far as I know.
I think that's like, that's kind of the next level, right?
That's when you know this is a sex call.
Yeah, it's branded or tattooed.
It sounds like nexium, it really does.
You know, telling people they have to do whatever he says,
whenever he says, it sounds so fucked up.
I would think theaters would stop booking him
i know that that's a great point think about that because if you really dive into
what christalie is doing is controlling these women
these younger women who are star struck and in love and he's saying you need to be
it by your phone at all times and if i text you by text me back immediately and i
need you to be home at a certain time and meanwhile lewe ck goes
hey do you mind if i jerk off in front of you?
And they said, oh, he's like, all right, that's cool.
And Chris Delia jerked off in front of a lot of girls
who didn't want to be and he didn't ask.
He did that to...
Louis C. K. confessed immediately.
I went, yeah, I almost got back and was wrong.
Which by the way, worked for Letterman.
I don't know why I didn't work for Louis C. K.
I'm, that's weird, I don't get it.
Yeah, there is a very different range, and I always think it depends on how big you are,
but Louis CK was huge.
I mean, people love the guy.
Still is.
You still is, you're right.
Wow, I mean, not as big as he was though, Mark.
He lost the movie, lost the show.
He lost a lot of facts.
He's not doing the stuff that he used to do.
And for a long time, he wasn't even touring.
It took him a while to come back.
I mean, that really halted his career.
I wonder if he just wants to do this now,
like just put out just tour what he does
and then put it on on his website.
Maybe he doesn't want to deal with all that.
Not sure he has that many choices, to be honest.
Chris D'Lia is still doing it the traditional way
he's always done it.
And I'm kind of surprised that he does have those choices i would really think somebody would be
but i don't shut that down what i mean is i don't think louis wants to do a
podcast or anything i can't imagine to lia being on a tv show
or anybody putting him in a movie no
probably not no not now that's one place he has been shut out of he was
was he knocked off a show
yeah yeah okay
so he's lost that
but if you can sell thirty five seat
uh... rea you know uh... houses like he is continued to do it released that big
a deal
and a louis tours too
we have no he didn't for a while theaters would not have him for a while
i'm sure
there's also the height in the peak of the uh...
you know times up in all that crystal here has not stopped what i mean it sounds
like he's always kept doing it even when he said i'm doing the work
they proven that he was doing exactly what he said he wasn't doing at that time
that document that came out they could they caught on with the time codes and
everything totally busted him so
uh... it's not that i'm trying to you know make theater stop booking i'm just
surprised that that there hasn't been more response other than
Journalism because usually there's no journalism. I mean surprise in his wife is standing by him
I mean he's totally humiliated her love this
No horrible and he and he used his wife when he was getting around at the first time on my cell
I love Calvin Oak Calvin is so wonderful
I didn't think he was crying and then he was getting around at the first time. Oh, and my child, I love Calvin. Oh, Calvin is so wonderful. I didn't think he was crying.
And then he was posting stuff like,
oh, I never dreamed marriage could be so sexy.
And meanwhile, he's texting.
He's checks like crazy and telling him.
I know we knew he was lying.
Because then he's very discreet like,
wait a second, Calvin.
Ha, ha, ha.
But honestly, that woman is in for a huge payday.
I don't know why, I don't know what she's waiting for.
I don't know, but my point about the, the low numbers of views is,
can those shows stand up getting 40,000 views?
I mean, with that, with a few hosts and behind the scenes guys,
I just, I guess it depends on what they're doing on Patreon as well,
because a lot of these shows do like an extra hour a week
or something, you can only get on Patreon. I haven't checked in a while, a lot of these shows do like an extra hour a week or something you can only get on a
Patreon. I haven't checked in a while but some of those shows have pretty big
pretty big Patreon numbers. Yeah, take a look at the fighter and the kid and the gold an hour
I just wonder if that's been dwindling because it just seems weird that the views of Dwindle and the Patreon will hold up
I'm in a minute wishing that they you know lose everything or anything like that
I just never thought that
Brendan Shawb in particular seems to be the internet's universal
joke that he's, he just isn't funny.
He's terrible.
They get a lot of hate viewers.
Oh, they do.
You go to their sub-right, it's the sub-right, it's started off as fans and now everyone
out there hates their gods.
And I guess it was everyone, I guess that's the arc, but it is bizarre to me that they
can maintain a career in something where the people who watch you
Don't like you the people don't watch you don't like you. It's like this can't be good
Yeah, when we had Dave on we did here from Crowder people who you know, of course they hate us
They hate Dave, you know, you get that strong reaction
I just don't get the feeling they're that there's that really incredibly loyal following for Brian Callan and
feeling there that there's that really incredibly loyal following for Brian Callan and Brendan Shawb who are just going to stick through them stick with them through thick and thin.
I just doesn't seem like that, but somehow they're still doing it.
They don't I don't know any of those people.
It's funny because I guess it's a West Coast thing.
I don't know because we can't relate where we are because I don't know a single person
who's right or die with the fighter of the kid or the golden.
Do they still go on Joe Rogan those two guys
i haven't checked your own and while probably although in christalie i would say
definitely not
you know i'm sure it's just as himself from them
i would be surprised if they did because it just seems like joe rogan would have
figured out their kind of a joke but you know i i was asking was it i think
was asking brandon like what what how did the ovanguette you said always on
joe rogan all the time which that does that
explains it
yet in his case
not that he's not rogan as a way of blowing people up
not that the ovon's not good and he's beloved he really is but that it really
seems like if you're on joe rogan you enter in different stratosphere
i did try to listen to joe rogan i think it was last night he had steven right
on recently
uh... we all love
Stephen right. Oh, yeah. Sure. That guy had dripped as a podcast like that. I'm like,
I'm like laying in bed trying to even hear what he's saying. He's just like mumbling
and like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All right. It's not a good guest. Not fun.
Is he still funny? Oh, he's hilarious. He's a right. I don't know. I can't hear him.
I get it. All right,
call tickets are on sale for who these podcasts at the magic
bag September the 15 VIP tickets available to and we'll
talk to you soon, man. Yeah, whtp live.com is where you can
get those tickets for the magic bag September 15, which is a
Friday night. Also, I just want to point out my sub right is not
happy with me right now speaking Speaking of subreddits, I did a little experiment on the most recent WATP because I couldn't
record on Saturday. We normally do. So we recorded on Friday. And I decided, let me just
do one that's open up to everyone. Normally, the only people who could watch the show live
are people on our Patreon and supercast. So I just put it out there and then we started
getting super chats. I didn't ask for it people started super chat
I got I started reading them and now the subreddit's like oh this show sucks
Carls is reading super nice. We're not gonna get it. It was just an experiment. Don't worry
We're not gonna do it's gonna be behind the paywall. No superchance going forward. Okay glad you cleared that up
I was so angry, but true if you want to experiment with that I'm sure people
Clear that up. I was so angry. But true if you want to experiment with that, I'm sure people will want that. I think I really don't want to enter that world. That's another conversation.
All right, Carl. That's yeah. We'll see you.
Easy for you to say. Hello, backslers, cousin Roos and rubber digs.
Welcome to another bonus edition
of who are these podcast.
I'm your host, Carl Heyenberger.
You know me, producer Chris is here.
What's up, producer Chris?
Oh, hey, oh hey to you.
W-A-T-P-N-W-A-T-P.
And Jen from the Jingle department is also here.
Hey, Jenny.
Blue Jackalaka.
I'm trying something new.
It's our new.
Oh, right, take two.
Take two.
Hello, back slavers.
It's not gonna be any better.
I got a note from somebody.
Actually, something is a screen grab
because everything that happens
with the public school system in California
is readily available for people to find.
Centering John has an emergency teaching permit
that expires on June 1st.
So he's able to continue to teach,
not being qualified at all.
But there's like a word emergency.
Yeah, the word emergency is what took me off to this.
So that's the deal with Stuttering John.
He's got teaching gigatolese, June 1st and then who knows?
I would feel slighted if I were those kids.
Oh yeah.
We got you an emergency teacher.
Again.
That's brutal.
All right guys, where do we leave off?
Easy for you to say, who was he bashing?
When we last left.
When we last left,
Southern Johns autobiography.
Do they want to remember?
Artie was beat to a pulp.
The guy discovers them and then just bashes them.
Always be bashing.
Yes, always be bashing.
We have some examples of that today.
It starts with a Robin Quivers chapter,
which by the way, the name of this chapter.
Robin Quivers, friend, unless Howard is involved.
That implies that Robin is Howard's puppet
with no autonomy at all, right?
It's a thick thing to, it's the name of the chapter.
Yeah.
Kind of a thick thing to say or think
or make a chapter title, friend or not.
Yeah. She um tries to be
friend him it seems though and he still shits on her anyway. Oh yeah. Well it's funny because
at the very end of the chapter he does say that they still text each other. I doubt it.
And we still exchange occasional text to this day.
I wish you weren't a liar.
I got bullshit on that one.
I don't see any reason why Robin is messaging
instead of doing John Moana does.
Qualifies it with occasional.
So I would say not exist in,
but even texting socks, we all know.
Like that's not a big deal.
Responding to somebody.
Responding to somebody asking you for money
isn't really
a new phone who does the only thing it's back
as a response.
She texted me.
So he starts off by saying that Robin just does whatever how
or tells her to do apparently.
And then this is like the first thing he says about her.
The first time I met Robin was actually limped
into the studio on crutches.
She broken her legs somehow,
probably from bending down to kiss Howard's ass.
Mm.
Cause that's how you kiss someone.
Yeah, I'll bite bending down
and then you can break your leg doing that.
You know what it sounds like to me?
It sounds to me like Robin is a Howard Cuck.
It sounds like she's Cuck in for Howard.
If you ask me, I don't know.
Just throw it out there.
Basically, we don't want the word,
cock now.
Yes.
It means everything.
It means anything.
It's a verb.
Correct.
Doing everything.
Oh, boy.
Okay.
So I know you picked up on this, Jenny Jingles,
and I saw your clips, but this was hilarious.
John talking about when he started his internship on the Howard Stern Show.
But I never complained.
I knew from past experience,
he'd never complained at a job.
He knew, to never complain at a job.
According to the Southern J.
He never complained.
He was on air complaining constantly.
So what I did, as I went, what is he talking about?
I'm gonna go to YouTube
and I'm gonna type in
Southern John complaining on the Howard Stern Show.
Ooh.
And here's the first thing that popped up.
He was having an argument with Vinnie Favoli.
This is from July of 2004.
So this is near the end of John's run
on the Howard Stern Show.
And Vinnie Favoli is telling John how terrible John was
on some special, he recorded it for K rock.
And it was horrible.
Yeah.
And he said, everybody told me that you suck.
I'm always winning your live shows.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I'm sorry Vinny nobody use you as any kind of broke his about some music. I wasn't about you How would you try to recreate the Howard Stern show on Christmas? No, it's not
So John's like I didn't want to do this show. They're forcing me to do it. That's complaining
That's the complaining by definition right there
His whole book is a complaint. He can play complain all the time
No, shit
I'll see for you to complain. Yeah, Howard didn't couple minimum enough and then pay him enough and it's just
Completed for complain so he's entered in giving up kids the popcorn was chewy
Yeah, I know I know what about complaining about Christmas gifts the tin was too deep
I don't know if we've covered that on the show before but he complains about that quite a bit
So I'm watching this video
of him and Vinnie Favoli. If you don't know who Vinnie Favoli is, he was the head of late-night
programming at CBS. I believe he's a co-creator of Comedy Central and he was a character on
the Stern Show for a while. He was a big fan and he would call in all the time. Sometimes
he was in studio like this time. And if fucking him and John argued
with each other is like children.
Then I retaliated, but he started it.
And then, and then you started telling me,
you don't need to fight with everyone.
No, I love this.
Yeah, he started it now, we're not in it.
I didn't do anything.
And I was like, John, everyone fights with you.
Like what do you mean he started it?
You're the problem here.
How do you not know that? So this is the funniest thing. And I know I'm getting off track immediately
here. I apologize. But I'm listening to this audio from 2004, the Howard Stern show.
And Vinnie's trying to say that John's problem is he walks you on trying to be Howard all
day. He's like, dude, you think you're Howard, and he did this show for K-Rock,
you were trying to be Howard, you're not Howard,
and Jack goes, oh no, I am never trying to be Howard.
I am my own person, I always have been.
So you feel he goes around all day trying to be me?
He's out of control.
You know what, let him talk.
I want to hear what he's complaint is with you.
Come on, you're in some people,
and you know, you do it because you live in this glass house.
I mean, you know, but I guess because you stutter, and I feel bad about that, that you in some people, you know, you do it because you live in this glass house. I mean, you know, but I guess because you start
and I feel bad about that, that you have the problem,
but you attack people because you think everyone's
gonna attack you.
Why don't we go back, you know what, Vinnie,
if this was all true and stuff,
why don't we go back to my fifth grade report card
and watch with the teacher wrote about me there?
Oh my gosh.
Did you write it some day?
It said that I asked.
Ask.
You know what I'm saying?
She always asked. I'm worried, you ask that way ask. Ask. Ask. You ask out
rages questions. Always, always a life. So that's a good
thing. Having fun. Yeah. It was always me. Outrageous.
It was all art. That was a good. I was. I was. I was. I was.
Well, Vinny. I did not. I'm like, how would I actually put it
in his book? John, John, no offense. How are you? I had about
I had about 10. I do enjoy it,
but I've had 10 guys asking outrageous questions before you.
I don't know.
No.
That's a really good point.
I didn't pick up on that.
They wouldn't write the life of the party.
You're in school.
Shut the fuck up.
And listen, and who wrote that?
It's not sense.
Yeah, it was party class party and it was in crown.
Yeah.
Well straight ups, but they say you're the life of the party.
So you got that going for it.
It's pretty cool.
All right.
Sorry.
I had a side track for a minute there.
Let's go back to John's book now.
Yeah, I just could believe to read the thing.
I'm just happy to be listening to you.
He's talking about a fifth grader of work.
I just get fucking unbelievable. And yet a little I'm just happy to be listening to you. You're talking about a fifth grader or a board guard. It's just fucking unbelievable.
And yet a little predictable.
Yeah, a little bit.
A little bit.
So this is about Robin, who is not funny,
but it seems like the kind of person you could easily,
if not be friend, be friendly with.
Of course.
Yeah.
And how does this guy manage to fuck that up?
Well, first off, there's a thing about kissing and telling.
It's literally, yeah, literally.
It's a thing that's the shrouded upon.
It's not very classy to do that sort of thing.
Well, especially the way he did it.
Oh, well, you mean like in a book and on the air.
Yeah.
When Robin dropped me off at the subway station, we kissed goodbye.
It was on the lips, but I still maintain that Robin slipped me a little bit of her tongue.
I brought it up on the air, but she infatically denied it.
But I don't know.
I'm pretty sure I felt her tongue into my mouth.
Later on after I left, she started stupping Jim Florentine.
So maybe she secretly had a thing for long hair and funny white guys.
So delusional. Yeah, you're calling yourself funny.
That's the first thing I was upset about.
But secondly, to think he's even in the same league as Jim Forrenty.
Now, I'm a guy, so I don't know this, but I believe that women find him attractive.
Is that right, Jen?
Yes.
Jim Forrenty is a good-looking guy.
He's a good-looking guy.
He's funny guy.
Right.
I...
So, do you know what, John is neither of those things.
He's not good-looking, he's funny guy. Right. Southern Jenna's neither of those things. He's not good looking, he's not funny.
Not even close.
So the fact that, and this is the same thing
when he was going after Alicia Jordana,
because she used to date Benji,
so he's like, oh, I can get her.
Like, he's got this weird thing
in this math that he doesn't his head.
Where he's like, oh, Robin,
I actually wanted to fuck me
because then she banged him for it, dude.
He's got the absolute worst personality on top of it all.
That's really his problem.
It's not what he looks like now, maybe, buddy.
But somebody, Jen's like, Carl,
Savo with the, he's not a good looking guy.
He's a horrible person.
He's a terrible guy.
Good point, I'm sorry.
I looks at nothing to do with this, you're right.
Literally nothing.
But why would he tell this story,
if Robin said she didn't put her tongue in your mouth, then leave it at that
He doesn't even sound like he's that convinced out that you're right. No, he sounds like he's convinced that she did
No, I know but not not even that much though, and if she said she didn't then be like, okay
Well, I guess I thought she'd put whatever
But he's bringing this shit up
So weird humble the book is riddled with things that shouldn't be victory laps.
Right.
Hard for him.
Yes.
Good.
This is yet another.
Good boy.
I feel like her tongue wound up in his mouth because she's like,
back the fuck off.
Yeah.
Her tongue or rape whistle.
Everything was in my mouth.
Couple knuckles.
Pepper sprays delicious.
Brass knuckles.
All right. So John's trying to tell the story about their friendship, him and Robyn's
friendship. And he says this, I would do odd favors for Robyn, one of which was
cat sitting or cats at her apartment in Queens.
Why, how was that an odd favor?
Watching someone's pets.
That's an odd.
I had that clip for a different reason.
What did you have that for?
Cat sitting her cats.
Yeah.
What else would you be doing?
And I have another example of that.
It's number four.
Okay.
Howard had hired a monologue writer to write a monologue jokes.
Yeah.
He does that all the time.
Oh, and I should have pulled this three quarters of the way
through this chapter.
He goes, and Robin Quivers.
Yes, it's all about Robin.
We know by now.
Wait, Robin, who?
Oh, Quivers, oh, okay.
All right.
God, he should have written a comedy writer to write comedy for this book or hired an editor to edit his book. I
Got an editor to do editing
That's funny. I didn't pick up on that. Oh, I did on favors like cat sitting or cats
And talk sitting or cats. What else would you be doing if you're cat sitting? Bird watching your cats.
It was a very odd favor.
She asked me to do.
Oh, and then this is an example of John Busting Robbins balls.
John loves to brag.
Anytime, John's ever been on the air.
I swear he's written about it in his book.
He's like, you guys might remember me from such times
when I was talking about Robin was eating cheeseburgers.
When she was on the Atkins one,
I would order her hamburgers,
and she would only eat the meat,
and I would tell Howard on the air
that Robin's wolfing down a bunch of burgers.
It was all in good fun, and God knows she teased me.
No, it wasn't in good fun.
I, he's always such a tattled hail.
He's, I'm confused by this whole thing
So John is obviously the Aaron boy because he's ordering robbing her burgers and she asked for no role
Right, you get it without the fucking bond and she right he did it wrong
Yeah, and the heck and style
I
Wasn't he's like and then I told honor immediately right like so what so she was eating burgers
I didn't even know what the tail tail is here.
Well, he's tailed hailing to someone who eats potatoes.
Oh, right.
It's just, yeah, Howard's got a weird diet that's for sure.
Yeah, for sure does.
So I didn't understand what the point of that was,
except for he's so good at busting balls.
I just have to say before you go on,
yeah, I've listened to this particular type of episode
that you guys do, it is so much harder
to pull clips from this than I thought,
because everything's glippable.
And yet he doesn't ever shut up enough to eat your way in there
to get anything.
That's correct.
Yes, it just keeps going and going and going.
It's all nonsense.
I have a huge admiration for you guys.
Well, honestly, we're putting more work into this than we should be.
What we should have done, if I wouldn't know,
we're treating it like it's a book.
What I should have done, is we should have just sat down
and just hit play on it, and just reacted the first time,
and we probably could have milked this for,
I don't know, 3,000 hours of content,
because it really, it's taking us so hard
to get through this thing.
And I'm working really hard to not pull everything.
It's hard not to.
It's hard not to.
I'm trying. I'm trying not to respond to every single thing that he says.
I might be jumping ahead, but I just can't wait. So please forgive me.
We have the collection, okay.
We left our asses off.
I left my ass off. And he left his ass off.
And now we have...
We were on the floor laughing. We ran out of asses off. I left my ass off. And he left his ass off. And now we have, we're on the floor laughing.
Yeah.
We ran out of asses.
Yeah, I have that one, too.
Well, he's changing it up.
I have an addition if you want.
I got you Clipsick.
That's for you.
Okay.
I never complained.
Is that what you're looking for?
That's it.
Yeah, I know.
He does come back to that again,
which we'll talk about.
Because that is a
Couple chapters away. I'm a celebrity get me out of here literally
That's the name of the chapter. I was able to get out of here literally. We get enough that that's the joke
Fucking idiot. It's so stupid. Anyway, getting back to the Robin chapter. So
John was irritated they had this meeting with the Heineken guys. Now Heineken's
a sponsor of the Howard. I believe it's pronounced Heineken. He's a Heineken guy. So he has this meeting
with the Heineken guys and they want to send everyone to Amsterdam. So John's in this meeting and
they don't realize that John's the one who does the ad read. Who cares?
Who gives a shit?
Sorry they're not spot checking,
you're fucking ad reads, John, who cares?
They wanted us to go to Amsterdam,
which seemed cool at the time.
I was already a little irritated with them,
because when I told them that I did all
of the Heineken commercials on the air with Howard,
they had no idea.
I was like, shit, man, I'm your fucking
Howard Stern spokesperson and you have no idea.
Fuck those guys, and the truth is I barely drank kind of again. I was an amstel light guy
I'm so like is a hineken product
Yeah, maybe so furious
Hineken
Fuck those guys and the truth is I barely drank kind of again. Do he takes everything is a slight? Yeah
Hey, did you know that I sometimes read the ads? No, we don't listen. What the fuck?
Fuck you guys.
So now on, I'm drinking angstle light.
Ha ha ha ha.
Well, I didn't even understand why he's upset about that.
For some reason, I think once again,
John thinks he's a bigger deal than he is.
So he's like, hey, guess what, guys, good news.
I'm reading your ads.
You're here, they're here to start
hearing John Melendez himself,
and they're like, whatever.
Who?
Yeah.
We are not from here.
Yeah.
So then the Heineken guys said this.
They looked at Gary and said, fuck John.
I, I like these Heineken guys.
They're pretty funny.
They're some good points.
Again, I doubt it. But it's so stupid because.
They should have.
John turned down the trip to Amsterdam
because his wife's pregnant and whatever.
No, he said, and it might have been after 9-11.
Everybody in New York knows when that was.
And elsewhere.
Yeah, I caught that.
That was interesting.
Yeah, when was 9-11 again?
Was that in September?
I don't remember.
What year was it?
What day?
Confused by that whole thing.
So anyway, John turned down the trip to Amsterdam.
And the guys were like, yeah, what?
Now, how do you guys like, what?
Are you still here?
Yeah.
Who gets a shit?
Chad, his book is riddled with nonsense.
Like, it's so bizarre because he writes about things
that no one could possibly care about
and it's baffling to me that he remembers it.
Doesn't even make sense that he remembers this shit.
So in-cats a quenchil in every single way.
Yeah, it's almost like not a whole lot
has gone on for him.
Yeah.
Go figure it.
So then after he gets the job of the tonight show,
he has a phone call with Robin Quivers.
And Robin Quivers.
Robin, right.
That's not him, right.
And Robin says to him, this is a private conversation.
Good for you.
Good for you. There are times that
I wish I could leave the Howard Stern show as well. And this is pretty well documented. Robin
was trying to get her own show. I don't know if she would love to Howard Stern or not,
but she was trying to do her own show and she wanted like a the view style show or something
like that. And well, fucking still doing moron goes on the air the next day and throws
around to the bus.
She even confided in me on a phone call that she might leave and do her own thing.
Then she about face it on the air about four years after I left,
she came to LA and called me.
We had dinner and I confronted her about it.
She said she'd been between a rock and a hard place and that she was friends with
both of us, but the show was where her bread was buttered.
Yeah.
That's where she gets her paycheck.
So when you go out in the air and you go,
yeah, you know what, Robin said Howard,
she wants to get the fuck out of here too.
Of course, she's gonna be like,
what are you talking about, John?
Yeah, fuck it asks you.
You know what the word confided means?
Right, yes.
A full frame clip.
Yeah, even wrote that.
It is bugger, right?
What did the idiot Robin has?
She told me something I shouldn't have said out loud.
I did.
It's from the Latin confidence.
And then she denied it. Confidential.
And then he confronted her about it four years later.
Four years later.
Remember when I say in bag to you on the Howard Stern show like what the fuck?
Why what's up with that?
She should have been confronting him about it four years later.
Jesus Christ. All right. So now he
does this quick chapter called Back on the Stern Show and it's bizarre. It's
comes in out of nowhere. It's very short and it starts off with bashing KC Armstrong.
Yeah. Yeah. Which is again, always be bashing. This is the ABB rule. He introduces KC.
It has to bash him.
Gary had hired his new protege, Casey Armstrong, to help him produce the show.
Casey had a radio show in college that Gary liked and he was Gary's but boy.
He was carried his butt boy.
What's the point of that sentence right there?
Someone was doing something that got attention that didn't
garner him any attention. So there's got to be an insult.
Well, actually, now they think about it. If I'm reading between the lines, KC was promoted
over John. KC was a producer of the show. He was in the writer's room. He, I mean, he
came on our show and talked about this. John didn't learn how to use the software.
John wasn't involved in the writing.
He wasn't involved in any of the stuff.
So of course, in John's mind,
oh, that's just because he was Gary's butt boy.
Not because he earned it or was a better worker.
So there's some ass kisser-y at foot.
He's gonna use the spec.
I would say there's some cocking.
Yeah, so it's a little chat, bro.
Not only do I got two, yeah, exactly.
Oh, well, he was only the producer of the show because he was kissing
everyone's ass all the time and learning how to use a software. Yeah, also knew how to
and doing his job and coming up with ideas and not wondering what to do. Not shitting
for an hour. So then they bring up Ralph, who's Howard stylist.
And we got a bash Ralph now too.
And that's time.
Who's gonna be Docs?
I hate to be reading this book and see my name,
job, I got, here we go.
A girl, he's a good guy.
Just kidding.
Yeah.
Ralph got hired as a makeup wardrobe guy
if they're sending in a fan letter.
The guy's from E and I would laugh in the control room at Howard's dumb outfits.
One day Ralph had him in a Charlie Brown shirt.
We were on the floor laughing.
The best was Howard's picture in private parts where 50 year old Howard was dressed like
Kurt Cobain.
At that same shoot Ralph was goofing on me because I had a blue suit with brown shoes.
He said they didn't match.
What a dummy.
Have the news guys in New York aware in that.
Ooh, high fashion news guys.
So, John, we've seen you in a suit.
I know. I was thinking, I'm like, if Rob was goofy at you for your suit, he was probably
right. Yeah. He probably was out to something there. What a fucking bizarre thing to write
in there. He's like, rough sucked as the stylist,
all of his clothes were terrible,
and he made fun of me, what?
Fuck him.
You were making fun of all the time.
I told the story backwards, I said.
Yeah, you were making fun of me, your book.
He's like, this guy wants to tell me that I sucked.
And fuck him.
Jesus.
Now you suck.
All right, then this is the clip that we played earlier
about the monologue. And
I picked up on something here. Howard had hired a monologue writer to write a monologue
jokes. So around seven o'clock each morning, Howard would read this page of jokes and
try to make it seem like he was speaking off the cuff. It was so completely embarrassing.
Already and I would sit there uncomfortably. We Arty and you would sit where?
Cause I know Arty was in the studio.
And it is chair with a microphone.
I would also sit in Arty's chair.
It's very comfortable.
I'd sit on a toilet.
Yeah, I know.
What is he talking about?
Arty and I would sit there uncomfortably.
What does he mean by that?
I assume that Arty was also sitting down.
Separately uncomfortable.
Yeah.
What the fuck was the point of that?
And again, just like bringing shit up
that could possibly get people pissed at Arty.
Did Arty say he didn't like the monologue jokes?
Are they embarrassing?
No, no.
John's saying that Arty thinks that?
Because Arty's smart.
He wouldn't ever say that.
Yeah, I don't know if he's never would.
He's not that smart, but I know what you mean.
Smart enough to not burn bridges.
Those shits.
That way, anyway.
So bizarre.
Okay, so now we get to the big chapter
that we're reviewing this time around.
I'm a celebrity, get me out of here literally.
And he talks about the offer,
was there anything I miss?
I'm sorry, I'm plowing through anything I miss from these
Chaffers. You guys want to cover Robin Quivers. Oh right right right that one. Yeah.
I see you're good. Oh, no, I'm good. All right. Sorry. Stop me if there's anything I'm missing here as I plow through.
Okay. So this is John talking about the offer that he got to be on.
I'm a celebrity get me out of here, which was a reality TV show on ABC in 2003.
What an opportunity.
Over 100,000 for two weeks in a rainforest in Australia.
How could I turn it down?
See, why would you just say they're offering me a lot of money?
Like, I understand why point people don't talk about money or salary. It's embarrassing
He talks about a non stop non fucking stuff. This was a hundred thousand dollars
This thing you drinks before I departed first class to Australia first class
Right, it's so bizarre. No one else would do that because he's a poor person living a lie.
Really? Isn't that really when it comes down to like he's trying to prove
that he belongs in such a way that it makes me think that he doesn't belong.
If you have to say you flew first class and you were paid over $100,000 for three
weeks work, I know you make good money at television.
I also feel like you could look it up if you cared.
There's ways to find this.
No, this is private information.
These are not public records.
I don't know why he's bringing it up.
He shouldn't.
Maybe Melissa Rivers doesn't want that information
getting out.
How much money they paid this?
There's a lot of things that.
A lot of the five volts of water doesn't want.
Yeah, get it out.
I'm sure.
Okay. So this right here doesn't make any sense at all. So he's going to Australia
to film this TV show. He tells everyone it's going to be two weeks and one of the weeks
the Howard Stern show was off. So it's only missing one week of the show.
I told Gary it would be over in two weeks maybe sooner if I got voted off, but it
might be more than that if I actually lasted. And I told my program director Stephen Kingston
the same thing. Remember that it'll become important later on.
Okay. So why would he say it's going to be two weeks? If it might be shorter and it might
be longer, then why bring up two weeks? He's lying. Yeah. He thought it was two weeks.
It turned out to be three.
He's lying.
But I told this other guy,
yeah, I told the other guy
that it was gonna be maybe more than two weeks.
And then he told Gary,
but Gary didn't remember that.
And Gary's a liar.
But famously,
if you're on one of those shows where there's Vodoffs,
they don't let you go home.
They keep you someplace so you can't divulge
what the end of it is.
Oh, yeah, I didn't think about that.
Yeah, no, he's gonna have to stay there anyway.
He's just gonna be in some resort somewhere
but he's not gonna go home, I don't think.
I'm just saying, and also this part irritated me.
Remember that, it'll become important later on.
I have to read your book once.
Why do I have to do any more work?
Why?
I already know where he's going with that.
When he writes that, and then Gary said,
I said it would be two weeks.
You just wrote that you said it was gonna be two weeks.
Why would you say it's gonna,
I'm gonna repeat myself.
Why would you say, I'll be gone for two weeks,
although it might be less, and it might be more.
What kind of information is that?
To give someone, it's a ballpark figure.
This is so funny.
John Spocken, Braggadocious nature, Ketsop himself.
He's talking about how they wanted the producers, wanted this abrasive stunt boy jerk to be
on the show.
And they're all like, oh no, John's too nice if a guy really was a disappointment for
everyone.
They wanted that asshole from the Howard Stern show.
They didn't know I was really just a nice guy.
A wise ass, sure, but ultimately a nice guy.
So they have written that, I mean,
I'm pulling this cause maybe you guys have them.
He goes out to call out Melissa Rivers
for just being famous cause of her mom
and then Bruce Jennifer getting a nose job.
He's like, I'm just such a nice guy.
And they say the most insulting thing to people's faces.
Right after that.
Yeah, show me your boobs, Melissa Rivers.
Yeah.
How is it living in the shadow of your mother?
Oh, yeah, he asked if their boobs are real.
Yeah, that's nice.
And I wish I had pulled it.
He prefaced it by saying I wasn't doing the red carpet jokes.
I wasn't being that guy, like you just said.
But then his examples are exactly that.
Yeah, minus any humor that someone would have written for him.
Right. That's the funny thing is that he's trying to convey one thing,
but he's so proud of himself and he has some, yeah, I'm such a great guy,
but also I was a dick because it's hilarious.
Are you guys like this?
That's when they realized I wasn't funny.
So, so then he says this. I never complained. And the reason why he says he never
complained is because he's talking about how it rained every day in the rain forest.
Go figure. Shocking with rain. Wow. It was raining that rain forest. That rain season.
And the funny thing is he goes, and all these celebrities are complaining.
John, the name of the show is I'm a celebrity.
Get me out of here.
That's what they producers want.
They want to see privileged people are used to having assistance waiting on them,
be camping in the fucking raid forest and freak out about it.
It just goes, I don't know if these fucking people's problem is.
I just got my mouth shut.
The one time you should.
Yeah, the one time.
The one time they want.
Yeah.
That's people complaining.
Oh, and then he says this.
I never complained, even though it rained on us every day,
the only dry thing I had left was my underwear.
Okay, partially dry.
I do have hemorrhage, you know.
Arth, alright. Now, here's the thing about this.
Arf's hemorrhage is always bleeding.
Dude.
Because having hemorrhage does not mean it.
What the fuck with this guy?
He'd be dead if it didn't stop bleeding.
He'd be out. There's no way.
His asshole is always bleeding. He'd be out. There's no way.
His asshole is always bleeding.
That is fucking disgusting.
That's him trying to be funny.
Yeah, that's so great about that.
That's his joke.
Check this out.
You guys get it, right?
I hate his chocolate covered cherries joke,
just for the record.
I hate him.
I'm glad you remembered that, because he uses it in his stand-up.
He uses it when he's interviewed.
He uses it on his podcast.
He...
Those must be some monumental hemorrhids.
Pfft.
That's insane.
That's not good.
It's not a good thing.
That's not good.
That's not good.
That's not good.
I think the job is like I think it played.
Meanwhile, everyone around is like,
it's fucking complaining about him.
I think complaining about his hemorrhids.
Can we get the guy with the shitty asshole I
hear hey guys I don't want to be an asshole or anything but this guy's bleeding Celebrity get him out of here
Judd we brought toilet paper although that's alright. I don't mind you as a twig
Fucking girl all right, so then because this is what Sennary John does
He throws people out of the fucking boss. Not sat. He apparently Bruce Jenner is a racist. I know that when Bruce and I were given
some wine, he made a racist comment about Tyson Beckford. If the Tyson wind about taking
out the garbage or something, Bruce was like, well, you know how those people are. Chris
Jenner was home watching the live feed and she was like, Holy shit, Bruce!
Shut the fuck up, we're gonna lose half of our friends.
So she called and they didn't air it.
Do, do, do, do, uh.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Say, I know, this John had a few incidents of being racist
themselves and the band he's calling up, Bruce Jenner,
for this and saying, like, it was so bad
that they didn't even air that television
So I wrote it in my book, right? So I wanted to make it everyone aware of what had gone down
And he's a Republican. Well, yeah, he does not like that. That's for sure. He talks about that a little bit too
God it guy makes a fucking comment and you got to write about what it is. Okay, so then
John is talking about how he's on this TV show and he's
hoping this is a springboard to get him as a guest spot on the tonight show. I would
pray while lying on the cot that Jay Lennon would be goofing on the show and that one day
I could be a guest on his show. That was my dream. Bullhmm. That was his dream was to get out into Jay Leno's tonight show.
Well, he's had several dreams in this book.
Yes.
So it's funny because all of his dreams are things that he ended up doing later.
Like even boxing.
He's like, I wanted to be a boxer someday.
And here I am boxing.
I wanted to fail at podcasting.
Yeah.
Here we are.
Yeah, it's a little bit too convenient.
All of his dreams are things that he actually did to be like, if I had a dream,
I wanna have a six with nice tits
reading my podcast reviews someday.
Oh, then it came true, I can't believe it.
Lucky me.
I hope she barely shows up.
I won again.
All right, so of course, howard is mad at John because he was supposed to be gone one week while they
were on the air and he was gone for two weeks while they were on the air.
Personally, I think Howard was madder that I came across as a nice guy and that's somewhere
deep down.
He wished people would see him in that way.
That is rich right there.
The projecting is insane.
He thinks that Howard's jealous of him.
Howard just wanted to be just like me.
That was the, that's why he was really upset with me.
He wanted to bleed out in the rain for it.
On his ass.
I was being nice.
That would piss anybody off.
What a douchebag.
Only the judge was like, well, my Q-Rinning was hired.
Howard couldn't take it, so.
He had to yell at me on the air.
Okay.
Why are his hemorrhoids such a sore throat?
I can't get past it.
Okay, I'm sorry.
It's so gross.
Yeah, it's not good.
It's not a good thing.
I think it went Tommy from MSCS. It was making fun of John's underwear, because you can see what kind of underwear he's wearing. He's like, good thing. I think it went timey from MSCS,
was making fun of John's underwear
because you can see what kind of underwear he's wearing.
He's like, dude, why do you get some nice underwear?
What do you do?
He's like, oh, dude, all I do is shit bleed
on my underpants.
So we've been carried like,
oh my god.
The weirder's kindness.
I had a tampon, you know.
Woo.
All right, so now we're gonna fast forward to John saying,
he went on this tonight show, had an amazing appearance,
so witty, so funny, everyone loved him.
And he can't just say, like, I did a good job,
I was happy about it, he has to say,
and Don Buckwellwal that fucking asshole
Wouldn't even book me on Letterman when I'd asked him to book me on there and I showed him
I'm an awesome guest on talk shows. I remember when I asked Don Bukkwal to book me on Letterman
And he asked me what I was gonna do. What am I gonna do Don? Kill it. That's what I'm gonna do you ball motherfucker
I would have loved to see a stupid face when I became the announcer on the tonight show.
I was so proud of myself.
Hey, I'm a gentleman.
John, you would not be a good guest on Letterman.
This is the thing. When Don Buckwald goes,
what are you promoting? Why would you be on Letterman? You're not a celebrity.
What do you mean? You got to be on letterman? Howard goes out of the letterman. Not the stunt boy from the Howard's third show.
And Dimes write about that.
So obviously John got some notoriety from being on this reality show.
The Hanuman, I guess he got third place
and I'm a celebrity to get me out of here.
So the Hanuman this tonight show.
He didn't embarrass himself somehow,
which is shocking, but I mean that's what Lendel's job
is to make a celebrity don't embarrass themselves.
He has some interesting stuff. He's like, himself somehow, which is shocking, but I mean, that's what Leno's job is to make us a celebrity. He's don't
embarrass themselves. He has some idiots on that show. And Jay Leno and David Letterman's
jobs is to make them seem interesting. And so that's what Leno was doing for John. And
John's only thought was, and my agent's a fucking asshole, because I should have been
doing the talk show circuit
all along obviously not the takeaway I would have had from having a good appearance but
that's John for us so then he's also bald.
Yeah fuck me as a calm.
Done fuck walled or whatever.
And say bald brimes with fuck walled.
Yeah.
What would you rather have a bleeding asshole or hair on your hand?
Cause I can answer that one.
Jesus Christ.
If you're me, you have both.
All right.
So I don't think I post that question, Christ.
I don't think I post that.
That one will not become a game show.
Thank God. He's podcast.
Cardiff, don't do it.
Don't do that one, Cardiff.
That one's not gonna work.
So then, he does this tonight show, and I guess Gary Delabate was in outlay at that time,
and they want to watch John's appearance on this night show, but he says his hotel room
doesn't get NBC.
What?
I didn't know that. You're in Los Angeles, and your hotel room doesn't get NBC. What?
You're in Los Angeles.
And your hotel room doesn't get NBC?
It gets CBS and ABC, not NBC.
What?
That's so stupid.
So then they have to go to a bar to watch this.
We ended up driving all over town to find the place
and landed at a bar where I got the bartender
to tune the television to NBC. And we watched show there but we can only read the subtitles because they
couldn't put the volume on.
Do you hear how excited he is?
It's really weird.
It's literally the King of Comedy.
Do you remember what happens at the King of Comedy?
He goes to the bars and says turn on the TV.
I was out of the show and makes her watch if we're getting arrested.
This is fucking John's life. Mom, take it easy. Lower it. I'm not going to have.
You get it. I get it. But I just thought that was insane because I can only imagine how
annoyed everyone that established it must have been with this asshole walking and going,
turn the TV's to NBC. I'm on the TV. I know it's probably during the World Series or something.
Right, yeah. Everyone's like fucking watching something.
And he has to turn on his stupid appearance on a talk show in a bar.
And that's something you want to watch when you're in a bar.
And also, I can't point this out enough.
Los Angeles is lousy with celebrities.
So when you walk into a bar, you're like, I was on this night show.
Like, yeah, five people in the last week were also on the
tonight show, Gary, we got it.
It's not that impressive.
So fucking proud of himself.
So for all the wrong reasons.
Yeah.
What was that story about?
Why don't they have NBC in the hotel?
Why do you have to drive all around town to find a bar?
And also Gary was gonna hang out in his hotel room
to watch John on the tonight show.
Yeah. Fuck Gary, I'm like, ah, no know I got my DVR at home. I'll check it
out. Yeah, but I just can't get enough of John. I got a lot of John. He says
he killed it. I got to see it. We get along so well. All right. So then John
gets offered a job in the tonight show as a correspondent and how well he
doesn't have to Howard. he's actually Gary. And Gary
del Batte says, there's no way Howard will not let you take that job.
I couldn't believe I was turning down a TV gig on the tonight show for a guy that called
me a loser on a regular basis. Yeah, it sounds like something a loser would do. Maybe Howard
was out of something. It sounds like you maybe you are a loser.
And that's why that happened that way.
Get confident, stupid.
All right, so then, oh, John, doesn't complain, as we know.
But now he's going to complain about his wife, Susanna.
Back at home, Susanna agreed to give me one more kid.
After all, I'm Puerto Rican.
I want a 10.
Susanna was Jewish and she said you would have three at the most.
This is what's odd about a Stuttering John.
He brings up that he's Puerto Rican
and says people are racist against him.
He's the only one who talks about Puerto Rican stereotypes.
I've never heard anyone else reference anything
Puerto Rican about Stuttering John except for anyone else reference anything Puerto Rican about settling
John except for settling John.
That's a good point.
It's always negative too.
It's always negative stereotypes about Puerto Rican.
It's not like he's like, well I get my work ethic from my Puerto Rican side of my hair
and it's always just like, well you know we're pieces of shit, we're looser, we can fight
a lot.
We want to have a ton of kids.
And as a side note, this is more evidence that he's betting 10 to win three
Good fight
All right, so this is the last thing I have
From this chapter which starts with I'm so I'm gonna get me out of here in this night show and then somehow ends with Susanne are getting pregnant and
this story of what I call the luckiest person ever.
When I got to NYU with tears in my eyes,
we checked with a doctor and as he did the sonogram,
we saw the dead lifeless baby in her womb.
Wow, Dodge Day bullets.
Great.
Good job, kiddo.
It's so sad, but I thought the same thing.
Is that what you thought, kid?
I did, I was like, oh, that lucky kid.
Yeah, seriously. Maybe they'll be. That's really mean, but I
does what I thought. Maybe they'll be born in India or something much better than being
centering John's kid. Hopefully. Well, he went on this whole long rant about how I wanted
a boy. Yeah, it was a girl. Oh yeah.
It was already disappointed in this kid.
The kid wasn't even born yet.
Yeah.
It died of disappointment.
It heard you, John.
All right.
So now we're going to talk about the audition tapes.
Now, the very famous audition tapes,
the John recorded with Scott Salem,
Scott the engineer at the Howard Stern show.
Off hours didn't want anyone to know about it, but he needed to send in his audition
tapes to get the announcer gig.
And so he doesn't pronounce names correctly.
And he does it in his book rather famously.
He does it in his book.
And I can't figure out for the life of me why he would put the
n-word in his book unless he's just reading it wrong again. I did like 10 different versions,
always checking the door with all different celebrities hence the Nicholas Cage and Genofa
Aniston which would later become popular thanks to Scott the engineer. Yes he betrayed me.
I asked him to erase the tapes but he didn't. He put them in the computer's trash bin,
but then retrieved them when I left.
Ha ha!
So he's trying to throw him under the bus,
yeah, and still outing himself as a retard.
Yes.
I have a question.
Why on earth would you do that where you work?
Go someplace else and pay somebody else's to do it.
He's an idiot.
Yeah, well, always ever done is torment Scott Salem? I don't think he's welcome at tons of
studios. Yeah, not anymore. Yeah.
So yeah, always ever done is torment.
Scott Salem and then when Scott betrays him, he's like, Jesus, what a jerk. He says, he says, be
trays. Yeah. Yeah. He does. Yeah, I'm gonna be tray. Yeah, everyone's betraying him. Yeah.
Niggaless cage. Yes, he does. Yeah, I'll be a betray everyone's betraying him. Yeah, Nicholas Cade.
Yeah, that's it was that's it was book. I know he pronounced it wrong when he was recording this for his audition, but why do they do it in his book?
Can you not help himself? I wouldn't rehash that. I just wouldn't. Yeah. So he also said Jennifer Aniston. He never it wasn't Jennifer Anson was Pamela Anderson. That's right. I think it was
He said Well, I went ahead and I found the audio from when they were goofy got job
Yeah, it's got brought the tapes to them. This is how it starts you guys asked for it the other day
This is stuttering John. Yeah, when John got so mad at Scott for giving us this tape. Scott getting one last
You know, he took so much shit from John. John was like, yeah, that's not perfect and Scott goes
I'm dare you all the pranks you played on me. He made Scott's life miserable
Yeah, this is what's so funny about John now being buddy with Scott Salem
It's got hated John. He was a dick. Everyone hated John on that show.
That grillo for some reason still puts up with them,
but everyone hated John on the show.
So of course, he got a chance to fuck with them and he did.
And this is the audio that they were playing
with John mispronouncing names.
Now this one's even more over the top
from the NBC studios in barbank it's a tonight show with jay Leno
featuring Kevin U-Banks and the tonight show band
and me I'm stuttering john
tonight jay welcomes Pamela Anderson
Harrison Ford
the music of the one is john thinking that Pamela Anderson goes before Harris
All right, and Simon Garfun goes third
All right, Garfunkel and Simon
so Carfunkle and Simon. So, John's audition tapes were not good in any city, in any single way.
And Gary comes in and explains how John used to fuck with Scott all the time.
So this is his comeuppance.
I got it.
He used to torment Scott, used to tape his phone down, put 20 dollar bills on fishing
wire.
I mean, he never missed a minute to fuck with Scott.
Right.
So Scott got his revenge.
We thank you, Scott. We do thank you for that. One of the greatest things
that he ever did. So, they're listening to these tapes and they're, I mean, I have more of it. This is insane. From the NBC studio. From the NBC studios in Burbank. It's a tonight show with Jay Leno
featuring Kevin U-Banks in the
tonight show band and me I'm Stuttering John tonight Jay welcomes Nicholas
Kaye and comedian Greg Ger Loki and now your ears bleed
Pamela Anderson Jesus Christ the girl who cries blood
Nicholas cage he said that's a racist
Nicholas Cage which one did he send them?
Dean Did he spend a lot of money? Or did he just send them one of them? Oh no. Oh, the Dean Poons.
Is that guy on that team?
I mean, to hear how he is, Niggalist Cage.
Oh my God, what's wrong with that?
So the best comment that Howard makes during this whole thing
because this is after John got the job.
As a snitch, he went out to another,
and listening to his audition tape,
they go, what the fuck?
Yeah, and then I guess at the tonight show they heard this and thought this would be good
Because I want to be that guy I mean the guy heard this I thought this was good and the John writes in his book
We edited the best tapes and I sent them along to the tonight show. They loved it
No, they didn't I thought they're gonna say they laughed their ass
loved it. No, they didn't. I thought they could say they left their ass. This guy wants to be the announcer. He just used the ad word playing again. Flickrous kids. We can't
say that. I'd be seeing you idiots. Holy shit. It's so funny. I mean, this is just more
proof. This is a revenge book. The hired John as a revenge book.
To Howard started, nothing to do with his talent at all.
So then John describes, he had to go out to L.A.
to have a meeting with Jay Lano and the crew
and get to know him.
In the way he described it, it's almost like
Jay wanted to see if he could pale around with John.
Which is a odd thing.
Well, I'll, show business.
What do I know?
What do I know?
So apparently they went out to dinner.
They went out for ice cream.
Oh, that was weird.
We went out for ice cream after dinner and then went back to his house and watched TV.
We watched the iron chef.
We goofed and joked about it while Jay smoked the pipe.
Shit, I didn't know he smoked.
I was like, well, if he's smoking, can I light up a sig?
I asked Joe and he said, no.
The night was perfect.
Then we started tickling each other.
What the fuck was the point of that, I think, though?
Jay left a pipe, so I'm like, hey, can I have a sig?
No, no, no, no, you may not.
I have a sig. Well, no, no, no, no, you may not.
I am a sig.
Well, then can we have a pillow fight?
Yeah.
And then we stayed up all nights.
We told ghost stories.
So apparently they got a log and he got the job.
So that's kind of the end.
All right.
So there's this time in John's life.
He sent him the audition tape.
He's met Jay Leno and he still has him in hired.
There's a guy over at NBC and he doesn't like John.
He's a big Howard Cernfani.
He's heard, this is the funny part, dude.
Johnny B. explains he goes, there's one guy who, you know, apparently has a lot of say over there. One of the executives and he's heard, this is the funny part, dude, Johnny B. explains he goes, there's one guy who apparently has a lot of say
over there, one of the executives, and he goes,
and this guy's a big stern fan,
he did not want to hire me.
Isn't that funny?
It's a one guy who's actually heard your real talents.
Thanks, this is a bad idea.
Hmm, I wonder, I wonder why.
So, John's going through this time in his life
where he's hoping he's gonna get this job,
he's not hearing anything, and weeks are going by,
he's not sure what to do, so then he decides,
you know what, I'll see if Jesus can help me out
with this one.
Oh God.
I took to the streets of the village
of my Berkingstocks looking for a church.
I wanted to pray, heck, God had listened to me,
I knew him was the case is in the past, why not now?
It was dusk and beginning to get dark and I couldn't find an open church.
Okay.
First off, you have the hack. Yeah. Thank you. Hack. Well, he's talking about God. So right. Well, good point. Yeah.
And Jesus fucking right there's a church. I guess hack is more appropriate. Yeah. Now
Kirby, if I'm wrong, I'm not a deeply religious man by any means.
Do you need to be in a church to pray?
No.
I'm pretty sure God hears everything.
I can't get better reception.
You can get better reception, yeah.
You know, if you're on the streets, I got a 3G.
If you go into a church, then you're at a 4G.
So this is more story padding, like driving around town,
looking for a fucking TV with NBC.
Yeah.
Walking around looking for a church that's open,
pounding on the doors.
Yeah, he's pounding on doors and shit,
looking for a church,
because he's like, I desperately had a prey to get this job.
Mm.
Well, then just pray.
Just pray and don't write about it in your book,
because that's how I get stories.
Well, it was weird too, because he said,
I put out my Berkhan stocks.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, I know.
I don't want to think about John's bare feet ever.
I'm so good.
I'm so good.
Don't bring it up if you're fucking buck.
As it turned out, Jesus fell for it.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
What an idiot.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
HG double hockey sticks.
All right, so now John gets the job and he can't wait to tell Tom Chiosano,
Chi Pasato, the guy who doesn't want to give John any money and he reminds us of this story.
Keep in mind that Tom was a guy who while he had cancer and so they're very good
chance of dying of it told me if I had asked him for a raise after 10 years on the job,
John, I'll die of cancer before I give you 50 grand a year.
This was a guy that in lieu of a raise gave me and my family health insurance, but then
a few months later the company's health insurance policy changed, and he took it away from me.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Oh my god!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no So hilarious. Oh my God. Yoink.
So obviously, John was excited to let him know that he was going to be leaving because
back when he was trying to negotiate a higher salary, the PD was not having it.
I recalled being in Tom's office once and asking for a raise.
The program director said, look, John, nobody else wants you. Well, I guess he was wrong. Well, he was wrong once, but now
nobody wants you again. So he's right. So so now, he's right again. He was temporarily
wrong. Yeah. If he knew the teacher shortage in California, he would have known that because of an emergency, somebody would want me. Boom.
Boom.
Let's let's remember what John does as a teacher.
Good stuff. Very impressive.
Guys, I'm fine.
Dude, that's one of my missing.
What am I missing anything here?
No, we doubled up on clips as usual.
Okay. I know it's tough unless you wanted to touch on the made Manhattan thing.
Sure.
It's seven.
All right.
Little did I know that Debbie was about to make me an offer I couldn't refuse.
I met with her in her office and we hit it off immediately.
By the way, make you an offer you can't refuse.
It's never a good thing.
No, that's when someone's going to kill you.
Yeah, or something.
She made me an offer I could refuse. It was a lot of money for a great job. No, that's when someone's going to kill you. Yeah. Or ultimatum. Yeah.
She made me an offer I could refuse.
It was a lot of money for a great job.
So that's called a good offer.
Yeah.
She made me an offer that we both agreed on.
Yeah.
I couldn't refuse.
Little did I know that Debbie was about to make me an offer I couldn't refuse.
I met with her in her office and we hit it off immediately.
She told me that the one time she listened to Stern, she heard me saying I cried over
a scene and Jennifer Lopez has made him and hadn't.
She said she cried over that scene too and immediately we were kindred spirits.
What a beautiful and amazing woman.
I just pulled it because it was so weird.
Because you both cried at the same part of a shitty, shitty movie.
And I am very sensitive.
So, I'll translate this.
Okay, thank you.
What was going on?
Because I've had the walk-shoot of interviewing a lot of people for jobs and things like that.
What people will do is they'll try to find information about you.
Maybe they'll read a blog post or you wrote,
I've actually had people come to me and say,
girl, you know, I read your blog,
and I really agree with, buh buh buh buh buh buh buh.
So what this woman was doing is trying to establish something,
like, hey, I listened to Howard Stern's show,
and you said this, whatever he would have said that time,
that she was listening to Howard Stern's show,
she was like, yeah, me too, you know?
I also have hemorrhoids to bleed on my ass.
Whatever it is that he can't be talking about,
she would have said that, but John takes it as,
and she's amazing because we both agree on everything.
She's a kindred spilling.
She didn't kick me out of the office.
Good job, John.
Very proud of you.
All right, so now we're just two chapters away
from the Robin chapter and we go back to talking
about the conversation with Robert again.
Oh, yeah, the exact same story comes back again.
You're doing the right thing.
Howard doesn't pay anybody here.
I always tell him to look over his shoulder because more and more people are going to leave.
I've been also thinking about doing my own thing and you're doing the right thing for
you and your family.
I felt so much better.
Cut to Monday morning when she says, Howard, I can't believe he's leaving.
That's how she talks.
That's how she talks.
Do you have a good impression?
That Robert impression is the most racist thing in this book.
I didn't want to say it, but that is how I felt.
Jesus Christ.
So then Rob has stopped cooking grits and said, Howard, she put the watermelon down at the
end. Like what?
So the rams and
like, what the fuck? So what ramen sounds like at all?
Yeah. Oh, shit. Maybe you should have gotten someone else to
read this.
You got to do for it still needs that.
Or write it.
You got the board still needs that. I'll write it.
All right, so John now is gonna talk about the salary
that he received from the tonight show.
I think my first year at the tonight show,
I made 250,000, but I wanted to leave
the Howard Stern Show so badly that I would have taken half.
Shit, I probably would have taken 50,000.
Shit.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Shit.
Heck.
All right.
John has said, multiple times in multiple places,
it was $500,000 a year for the tonight show.
Now he's writing in his book, it was 250.
And he says, I'm not even sure.
I think it was 250.
If you got a salary increase from 85,000 to 250,
or 400, or 500, you would remember that.
Yes.
You would know that number and he's like,
ah, I don't know, 250, 500.
Yeah, it was raining money.
I couldn't see him.
He also bought a very expensive mansion when he moved out way.
So there I was the overpaying,
and I guarantee it was more than 250.
I don't know why now he's trying to pretend like,
yeah, I think it was like 250 years up and like that.
He has had so many times, it was 500,000.
I don't know what to believe anymore.
Start to think that John's a liar.
He doesn't like the lie.
He doesn't like the lie.
He doesn't like the lie, but he does lie. That was the one day my OCD wasn't kicking it. That was I was able to lie that day. So then John
talks about how jealous everybody was on the Stern show. You know, he speculates the Gary wanted
to leave and Fred wanted to leave and Rob and wanted to leave and he was the one who who got out
of there. Later on, my voice coach, Marisa Tobias,
who I got to help me with the announcing gig,
told me something I will never forget.
She said that when you put a bunch of crabs in a bucket,
eventually one of them will try and get out.
The other ones then grab the fleeing crab
and pull it back in.
How does that equate?
No, we, I have crabs.
First of all, Chad, everybody knows that concept. And we're're not just like well, what is the answer to with anything?
Yeah, it's again. No, we know we got it. We're we're way ahead of you here
This isn't a difficult concept that you've introduced to us. So wait, what are you trying to say about Fred and Gary?
No, no, no, there's a parallel
Now let me explain why I brought this up
Gonna blow your mind. I have just one more clip on here.
This is the very end of the chapter that we closed out with.
I know what it is.
Of course you know what it is.
John, John had one more conversation with Howard Stern.
Well, they threw it going going away party for him,
that Howard did not attend.
And he had one more conversation.
He forgot.
I called Howard to see if it was really mad at me.
It was the most honest and humble Howard I had ever spoken to.
He said something like, John, I'm not mad at you.
And you know what?
Maybe I should have had you in the studio full-time. Maybe I should have put you in the Jackie chair. And maybe things would have
been different. Truth is, they would have been. But in hindsight, I'm glad I left when I did
having heard what the show has become. Oh, dude, in hindsight, how would you have
left when you did? I like the Jon's trying to be like, and I'm too good for that show now.
Anyway, we've seen what you've done.
There's no way any radio show would hire you now.
He said something like, get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, something like is what I picked up on.
Yeah, that did not go down like that at all.
Well, he said something like,
I should have put you in the jacket chair.
Yeah, or I dumpster.
Or an electric chair.
No, what he said there was a Howard said,
things would have been different if he had put him in in the studio
and
Yes, it would have been worse for the Howard search different very different
Different. Yeah, worse is different
Didn't speculate and I love that that as soon as Howard saying something nice to him
And this is what you do when somebody leaves your company or leaves your show
You're gonna say hey, I'm rooting for you. Thanks for all the years. Good luck going forward.
It's just the point thing to say. You don't go to bed. Yeah, you know, say don't the door slap you on the ass.
You say, All right, I'm happy for you. Good luck. I hope things go well. We'll see you again someday.
And John goes, that was the most honest how it's ever been.
Because he finally said that I'm amazing. Even though for all those years he told me I sucked,
and I should have bought my kid, and I'll lose her,
and not funny, and I'm not just,
those are all the wise he told.
But then finally one day, he decided to be honest with me.
Finally.
John, I think that was the time that he wasn't being honest
with you.
I was gonna throw it out there.
Producer Cress, what did I miss, buddy?
What else you got on the board over there?
We doubled up on everything as usual.
I thought I pulled a clip where he was explaining
with his voice coach there that I'm not gonna stutter.
My OCD couldn't let me,
and I don't know what happened to that clip,
but he was explaining in detail how that's an impossibility.
Yeah, he says they were concerned he was gonna stutter
as the announcer, which I'm thinking,
isn't that the whole point?
Why would you hire a stutter?
He'd jad to be the announcer.
We don't want to stutter.
That's the funny part.
He says it couldn't happen because my vocal cords are engaged
and my lips are moving, so how can I possibly stutter?
Yeah.
That's pretty close to what he says.
Yeah, he says it's similar to when I'm singing.
I don't stutter when I'm singing,
so I don't stutter when I'm announcing. So I don't stutter when I'm announcing.
Yeah, I'm just pretending you're announcing.
I'm not saying it's talking.
Yeah, I know, just pretend you're always announcing.
Well, he's also an actor.
All right.
So pretend.
I think that's what they want.
But again, I wouldn't stutter.
I wouldn't stutter.
His stutter was always a bit.
And he puts it on when he wants to get laughs.
I don't want to accuse him of being like one of these trutz girls on TikTok, but
don't lump them into your mouth.
I know really.
I mean, we've been thinking about those girls.
That's the appeal, I see.
But honestly, I'm believing more and more that I think John did center when he was nervous.
I think a lot of people do.
I think you get tongue tied and stuff when you're in a situation like that.
So that's why he would stutter when he was interviewing celebrities or came into the studio
from time to time.
But I don't think that John's like a stutterer.
No.
You know what I mean?
It's obvious he's not.
If he's like, I know you stutter, but for $500,000 would you be the announcer tonight
show?
Oh yeah, the stutter's gone. I can't do that.
I'm good.
He's suddenly as a British accent.
Yeah.
Yeah, all the time.
I won't be stuttering it.
Oh.
Pip, pip.
Oh my God, that's funny.
I was, when Chad was doing his kumiya's cocksep episode
about me, he was looking for anything to goof on.
And he found a deep fake video.
Okay.
She's like, okay, let's watch this.
And it's the one where you're like doing
the Southern Jennifer, and then it ends and you're like,
all right, I can't drink this shit anymore.
Oh yeah, so it brings you a wine.
Yes, yes, very good, thank you.
I still haven't seen that one.
I remember doing it, that was great.
And, and Che goes, all right, that was all right. I'm like, what's he gonna say about this?
All right, that's not bad.
That's pretty funny.
Jesus.
Guys, that's all I have for us today.
Really?
That's all I got.
Right now, there's no second segment.
It's just, you feel like you feel gyped or something.
Pretty secret, it's like so buggedipped or something Pretty secrets like so bomb now sad
Should we spend a record
45 clips
All right Okay, I Don't lie. I don't like to lie Oh, alright. Okay.
I don't like, I don't like to lie.
That's me laughing at you fucking losers.
Wack.
Is this guy a freaking moron or what?
Foon.
Is John the stupidest guy in the world? Ha ha ha ha!
Hey, I'm a gentleman!
Ha ha ha ha!
Alright.
Alright, I think we've done it all today.
I want to thank everyone who supports us on Patreon and Supercast.
Maybe we'll do Backed By soon as well.
People want us to go on Backed backed by which is Dick Masterson's new
platform. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Okay, folks, guess what? The episode's over!
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Oh, hello.