Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep417 - Paul Giamatti’s CHINWAG with Stephen Asma

Episode Date: June 8, 2023

On this episode we start with Howard Stern being faced with a question about the Dabbleverse. It's unfortunate Howard chooses to be clueless about Stuttering John's recent past because I don't know an...yone who would have more fun with it. Then we check out Paul Giamatti's new podcast with the Drew and Mike gang. It's a show that's about nothing and so little more. After that, Bill Maher and Billy Corgan have a very weird conversation about monkeys masturbating. Finally, we're joined by Jenny Jingles to check out a couple of chapters from Stuttering John's book, Easy For You To Say, where he has some choice words for Robin, KC, and Ralph. He also explains what made him to irresistible to the producers of The Tonight Show. I guess he's just a scary talent. Support us, get bonus episodes, Vic and Hannah pics, and watch live every Saturday and most Wednesdays: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. What a dick. You know what I miss being what are you talking about? I'm the one who should apologize cuz Cuz a row cuz a row slap a runie It's show time. You are the episode's Williams podcast, the only show that blames Cardiff Electric for the Wildfires. We have another different episode today. I've been spending the week moving into my new place and it totally sucks. This week I'd everything will be back to normal.
Starting point is 00:00:53 If you watched me on the creep off on Monday, you saw that my internet service is less than reliable. I bought a new router today. I'm getting over 200 megabits per second up. So that seems positive, who knows. Either way, on today's show, I'm going to have my recent appearance on the Drew and Mike show as well as my favorite bonus episodes covering, Southern John's book Easy for You to Say. A lot of you know, every other week I do an appearance on the Drew and Mike show on a Detroit. And we cover mostly
Starting point is 00:01:22 podcasts hosted by celebrities. I was recently on there talking about Paul Giamatti's chinwag with a very special celebrity guest as well as Club random with Bill Marr featuring smashing pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan. Bill Marr has a sneaky good show as you'll hear. He's got something going on that I like. I think he's on to something. I've always liked Phil Meyer, but I think his podcast, he's figured something out that a lot of people haven't. So after that, we're checking in on a
Starting point is 00:01:53 few more chapters of Suthering John's autobiography. This was part 12 that is available on our Patreon and Supercast featuring Jenny Jingles. In this chapter, John bashes Robin Quivers, KC Armstrong, and Ralph Serella. There's other things too that we cover. If you enjoy a review of John's Bragg Fast, that no one has ever read besides John for the audio version, there are now 14 parts available
Starting point is 00:02:18 for anyone who subscribes to our Patreon or Supercast, and you can find those links on who are these.com or just Google it. I'm sure you can figure it out. But first, before we do that, I have to play a voicemail from one of our favorite voicemailers. This is coming in from Gary from San Diego. Now Gary from San Diego always has an update on what's happening with stuttering john and lately's been a little quiet because not been a lot going on with john but wow big news happening this week
Starting point is 00:02:54 hey carl gare and sandy a go well i got up early this morning to do like i always do listen to howard and uh... what's in i think the first half hour there was a call from a guy who was talking about a problem he had with the Bellatop. And then all of a sudden he blurted out, hey Howard did you hear about Stuttering John going to the Dodger Bay yesterday? And Howard was startled. You know what? I don't care. And then the caller said, well, you listen to the dabble verse. And it was obvious from listening to that call, but it was Mr. Cardiff Electric making a
Starting point is 00:03:34 shot call to a shock, shock. Congratulations to Cardiff Electric. You did a good plug there for the dabble verse. Congratulations again. Whoa! Cardiff Electric on Howard's turn because of course he did. This guy is everywhere. So Cardiff Electric called it into the Howard Stern show. And I'll play that for you here.
Starting point is 00:04:00 We'll hear how this all went down. On Howard Stern, I guess it was Yesterday or this morning, I was just this week this happened. Oh, here's a guy says he's one of the fatso's that broke the seat How much you wake her? Oh wow Oh, it's Carter. It's Carter. Hi. Hi. How are you? Hey, what's up? Yes, I'm about to 60 260. Yeah, if you wait to how tall are you? Six two.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Yeah, you're six two two six. Do you got the seat already? That's like trainer on our left. They sent they sent him a seat so quick. They said this guy said an accident waiting.
Starting point is 00:04:38 Happen. Did you hear did you hear Stuttering John with the Dodgers game on the weekend? But why would I hear that? You know, you're not following Did you hear did you hear Stuttering John with the Dodgers game on the weekend? But why would I hear that? You're not following the Dabbleverse? Oh, this is my corner. I guess I guess he's trying to get a free plug for John.
Starting point is 00:05:04 All right, so that's what happened and then they hung up on him and Howard wasn't having it. He didn't want to have a conversation about Sittering John, which I'm not surprised about. John does not get brought up on the show. Everyone who's off that show is on the Pay No Mind list. You're not gonna talk about Brent Hattley or Shule E. Gar, Billy West or anyone for that better. So I think back in the day though, I think someone in the back office would have chimed in because everyone who works on the show knows about the devil verse and they love it. I know that for a fact. And so it's it's disappointing that Kurt have got in.
Starting point is 00:05:33 He got to talk about studying John. Now his angle was, did you see the John went to the Dodgers game? John tweeted a photo of himself with his new girlfriend. I guess he had his Yankees head on, she had her Dodgers head on, so he was very proud of himself to be out with a female. So that's big news in the demo, versus don't, I don't know if that was the best way to segue into Southern John Talk.
Starting point is 00:05:56 Now, props to Carter for gonna get in the show. A lot of people think he could have done better. Maybe he should have said something like, do you know Southern John's a substitute teacher now? And there's an entire community of fans and shows. The endlessly rip on him for being a loser. Maybe something like that would have gotten Howard's attention. Either way, props to card is up, sure Howard wouldn't want
Starting point is 00:06:14 to explore Centering John info. So I don't know if there is a right way to do it. People are complaining. Other people are very excited. The card of was on Howard. Talk about the dabble verse and talk about Centering John. I mean, I got to give him endless props for that because this guy, I don't know what he does for a living other than just be on the internet and call him to show his nonstop. It's insane.
Starting point is 00:06:38 Okay. That's the update. That's what I wanted to talk about. I don't have a new show unless you are not on our Patreon. I put out these appearances on the Drew and Mike show every other week on our Patreon, supercast as little mini bonuses. I don't really talk about it too much, I should, because it's typically close to an hour long. It's all fresh content and original material
Starting point is 00:07:01 with my buddy's Drew Lane, Mark Fellower, and Brandon McAfee. And we always have a blast doing these shows. I go on there every other Tuesday. So here is my most recent appearance on the Drew and Mike show from last week. And then after that producer Chris Jenny Jingles and yours truly review a few more chapters of Easy for You to Say. One of the worst written books ever worst written. Thanks for listening to who are these podcasts guys. We'll be back to our normal format starting this weekend and moving on from there. How are you doing?
Starting point is 00:07:34 I am doing awesome. What's going on? Do you have an announcement for us today? I do have an announcement for us today as you teased on the show yesterday. Thank God I got the stuff just in time. But yes, tickets are now on sale for the magic bag September 15th. today as you teased on the show yesterday. Uh-huh. Thank God I got this up just in time. But yes, tickets are now on sale for the Magic Bag September 15th. All right.
Starting point is 00:07:50 One of these podcasts of the Drew and Mike show and Eric Zane returning to Furndale. I'm excited. W-ATPlive.com or there's a link on who are these.com to get the tickets last year sold out and people showed up trying to get tickets to the door and they couldn't so get your tickets early and often. Did it just go on sale just went on sale? It's just what sale is the first time I'm announcing I haven't even tweeted about it yet. All right. Oh exclusive. And the the the the is some of the Zaniacs come from Western Michigan too. That's correct. All right. It would be a party. So who else is coming from from your gang? Well, we definitely have Vinnie producer Chris trucker Andy Jenny from the Jingle's department and
Starting point is 00:08:33 maybe others we'll see okay well and And as far as other things going on in the world of WATP and those crazy beef shows that you're mixed up in and a lot of people are where this of w at p and those crazy beef shows that you're mixed up in and a lot of people are where this chat zoom out the guy who claimed he was punched by one of anthony kumi's goons just a month and a half ago was stricken from youtube and that was for snipe streaming the entire mlc podcast
Starting point is 00:09:00 without even commenting on it he was basically getting super chats occasionally he'd say something he had brine Brian Johnson on he kept doing it. The MLC guys got pissed. They they struck him off of YouTube. So this guy is out of his mind and then we understand he had a bicycle accident. It was in the hospital now. Yeah, normally it does is who me as cooks episodes on someone's one and I'm one of the top see that conversation. They really cut it out. He put out a message saying, I'm in the hospital and I just had a bicycle accident and then he like veered off into plus,
Starting point is 00:09:34 I'm sensitive for Twitter and my YouTube channels now, so I'm never gonna do a show today. It's like we'll just pick one of those things. What do you need? You got hit by a car and Kevin's being mean to you. Like pick one of my weird. Is think I'm not going to be weird. Is somebody going to FOIA to find out if he was in the hospital?
Starting point is 00:09:50 FOIA. I'm sure they will because the last time he claimed he was in the hospital, this guy, Patrick Melton, had contacts and tampons, reached out and found out he was lying and Chad had a confess that he was lying. It's so bizarre. And I posted the, so I tweeted out, you know, his post that he put out there.
Starting point is 00:10:07 And 100% of the people who follow me did not believe Chad. I know, I can't believe it. That's what you said. Of those really cool that you said to get well soon or whatever you said, that was very important. It was a car end to the circumstances. Well, I don't know what to tell you, man.
Starting point is 00:10:20 And then I, you saw this, because I think you tweeted this out Drew the next day, Chad decides that he's on the offensive again and he wants to get Kevin Brennan's wife fired from her job You put out a post saying all right, we're gonna start stream sleeping again And I'm gonna be on there and this was Monday I'm gonna be on there and we're gonna get Kevin's wife fired and it's just like the most bizarre stuff so I had this interview with the sky ski mask he has a show and him and chat about some interactions in real life
Starting point is 00:10:51 where Chad got him taken off and I don't know about some of this I don't know about some of this crowd you're running with Carl I know, he's a genius but my point is is that I did this quick interview I'm gonna put it on a show and put it up on YouTube soon but it was so crazy because what I'm, is that I did this quick interview, I'm gonna put it on a show and put it up on YouTube soon. But it was so crazy because what I'm learning is that Chad likes to say that, well, you know, he talks big game,
Starting point is 00:11:12 but he's not really messing with people in real life and then it turns out that he actually is. He's actually actively trying to people, fired from their jobs and get their girlfriends, fired from their jobs, it goes so deep. Threatening doxing of individuals of potatoes. What do Kevin's wife is a nurse? You know, I'm not even sure what she has,
Starting point is 00:11:33 but why would he pick her? I can't see how you get someone fired from her their job. For what? Because they're married to Kevin Brennan. What do you mean? Doesn't make any sense. No, he's really, really kind of lost it. But it was weird too that he talks about being in this terrible bike accident and i'm just getting
Starting point is 00:11:47 out of the hospital and then and i'm going to get an umbrella that's not a bitch he is such a bitch i'm a little more than we can do kumi's cocks it just didn't sound like someone who just got out of the hospital from a terrible bike accident usually you're feeling pretty you know just kind of quiet and wanting to come to the list but no he's just all over these people almost like he was never in the hospital and he was posting that on his patreon
Starting point is 00:12:11 and saying he was still in the hospital while he was posting that and he's sent to all oh well not buying it i'm not buying it all right so uh... exciting news we have the magic bag show for September the 15th save the date. I would advise get tickets early because they did sell out and people were trying to go the night
Starting point is 00:12:28 of the show and what a shame. The official pre-party for the Michigan game on Saturday at noon. So we're going to start partying it up Friday night. Last year was a Champions Club. This year Carl's getting to Ann Arbor and what else? Oh, is there a VIP? I know people always ask. There is a VIP. Yeah, so we're going to do a meet and greet before the show. With the meet and greet, you get two beers and a show poster. Oh, last year's show poster was amazing. The one that Troy Smith put together.
Starting point is 00:12:59 That was awesome. Yeah, he simplified everybody. Yeah, I just tweeted out another one he did of our studio. I just recently did one for our show Which was awesome. I want to get a big print of it because I thought it was so good. He's great. He's amazing He reached out to me goes am I gonna be able to do the show poster in this year? I'm like we can Be able to you have to We got to get ours printed out to get it on our wall somewhere. It's really good I was thinking maybe the Gibby poster should be in the in the Simpsons thing
Starting point is 00:13:30 People are so fascinated by the Gibby poster and he's behind you shirtless all right Certainly a memorable event, but today on who are these podcasts? We're talking about I know club random with Billy Corgan and Bill Marr, which I listened to by the way, it was really pretty fascinating. And then there was another podcast you were talking about, where are we going first? Yeah, let's start with Paul Giamatti. So he has a podcast that just started up in April. This is a brand new show.
Starting point is 00:13:57 And actually I won't even introduce it. I'll let that introduce it. My track number one kind of explains what the show is in the format of it. Hello and welcome to the very first inaugural episode of Chinwag with myself Paul J. Mady and my colleague Dr. Steven Asma, professor of the Chinwag. And what does it Chinwag? Maybe you should say that. Yeah. You should at least tell people it's like a it's a chat. It's a conversation that may or may not go anywhere. It's as if we were in a bar or having a nice dinner together or we were stoned in our college dorm room.
Starting point is 00:14:35 That's right. But kind of conversation that's all over the map could be any crazy thing. Like this intro. Well, at least they're not pretending to be one of those shows. We're going to interview all the, all the biggest people who do all the podcasts, of course, and ask them questions they've never heard before when they really don't do that at all. I mean, they seem to be copying the fact that they're phoning it in Carl, right? Yeah, I'm sorry, that's a good way to put it. Phoning it in. He's like, shit, what does that mean? Well, it means that you're at the mercy of our shitty smell talk.
Starting point is 00:15:03 Right. It's not so amazing, guys. Well, it means that you're at the mercy of our shitty smeltock. Right. It waits. It sounds amazing, guys. And why do you think they're doing this podcast? Isn't that a fair question? That is a fair question. I don't know. It's Paul Giamatti.
Starting point is 00:15:15 Is he aging out of Hollywood, maybe? I don't know. He has huge roles. Yeah, he's got, I would think the guy would be loaded. Yeah, he's got a net worth of like 30 million bucks. This guy doesn't need to do anything. Is he married? Maybe he wants to get out of the house. Wait, does the second guy need worth of like 30 million bucks. This guy doesn't need to do it. Is he married? Maybe he wants to get out of the house.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Wait, does the second guy need money? Because there's a second guy in the show. The doctor? Stephen Asma? Could have been. I don't know, maybe he's a friend. No one's last name is Asma. No, I agree with that.
Starting point is 00:15:36 So it might be one of those things where they get talked into it because the agent says, you know, this is everyone's doing a podcast now. Yeah, you have your name out there. So they get talked into it and they're like, oh, it'll be fun. You'll have celebrity guests side. It'll be great.
Starting point is 00:15:48 This will probably pod fade by July. Is it part of a network? I don't think so. Oh, okay. No, no. In fact, it's got its own website and everything. That's even all in. That's really unusual.
Starting point is 00:15:59 I was thinking it was part of a network that maybe his agent owned or something. It almost sounds like he wants to do it. No one wants to. I just, I hate the idea that our show format is no format at all. I find that such a cop out. That's bizarre. It's pretty weak.
Starting point is 00:16:19 All right. I am excited to introduce to you. They're very first guests by Track Double T. You guys are gonna get excited about this. That's okay. Our very special guest today, Mr. Billy Bob Thornton, they very talented Academy Award-winning actor and screenwriter. We know who he is.
Starting point is 00:16:35 And out of sight musician, in fact, he'll be touring the US and Europe this summer with his band The Box Masters. But we are about to go deep. Guys, the reason why he's out of sight is musicians, because no one's there watching him play music. I like that he had like interrupt because we all know Billy Bob gets about his music. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:55 Raise him. Or else he gets very obsessed. It's like, all right, this guy you probably saw in all these movies, you know, about him. It's like, yeah, but he's also a musician. Make sure you stay on buddy. So so Billy Bob Thornton is there to promote his music. That's why he's doing all right.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Does that all the time? You know, he's good to angry. That's why he replies like this. You wouldn't say that to Tom, Patty, would you? Oh God, that was stupid. That was really lame. You've heard his music obviously. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:20 I think we've interviewed him about his music. Oh no, okay. I saw him too. He opened for, I think it've interviewed him about his music. I know. I saw him too. He opened for, I think it was Willie Nelson. And they were okay, but I don't know why he's so serious about his music, because they weren't that great. Okay, are the two perfect letters to describe this, because his songwriting guitar playing and singing is so mediocre.
Starting point is 00:17:41 Peri's on the top penny is in raging. I'm really curious to hear what these guys have to talk about Carl. What are we going with the sides, Billy's music. Yeah. Paul and Billy Bob shot a movie and I guess they stayed in this hotel in Dallas while they were shooting this movie and the hotel was haunted. Oh gosh. So we're going to get into some deep ghost talk and of course you know track number three here you're going to hear that Billy Bob's had a lot of experiences with ghosts. Ghosts don't creep me out exactly unless they sort of surprise you or stick around for a while. Well then I was.
Starting point is 00:18:24 What? The way he describes ghosts is like when there's a spider in the corner. Yeah. The way the people just like that. And he's fine. And then you're like, by week three, you're like, what's he up to over there? I don't know. I don't like it.
Starting point is 00:18:36 I like those Casper ghosts. They don't usually surprise you. I mean, anything but talk about the great movies and roles he's had and some of the fantastic lines and people he's worked with in his wife. Anything but that, yeah, or his ex-wife. Really? You can't give us what we would just love to hear. They can't go anywhere near there.
Starting point is 00:18:57 No, they got to talk about nonsense. And by the way, it gets worse and worse. It has to be like, nonsense, it doesn't go. You just heard Billy Bob Thornton say, it's worse and worse. It has to go. Not that it doesn't go. No. You just heard Billy Bob Thornton say, it's lots of experiences with ghosts, and usually it's cool, but sometimes it's not. So in my track number four, he's gonna get into it a little bit more here.
Starting point is 00:19:14 Because I've had a lot of experiences with ghosts, and so have my wife, my daughter, my mother, okay. And, but they're crazy things. I know I feel somehow that I think if you let yourself go with it, that maybe it's easier because to let it in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's interesting.
Starting point is 00:19:38 And let me just ask, have you literally had the experience of literally seeing a person who's there who's not there. I have not. Okay. But I've only experienced sounds and voices, sounds voices and knowing somebody's walking up the stairs behind you and you actually hear them walking up the stairs. Paul Giamatti has to go with this? Like, this is really something he wants to talk about.
Starting point is 00:20:07 Uh-huh. Yeah. You're going to hear that more and more drew where Paul like, have to go log with this. If I had a friend who talked like this, I'd probably hang out with him less. He just goes, oh, it's like, this is just such a like, okay, you're a weirdo. I'd hang out less with the, uh-huh, uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Okay, too. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. We need that, Dr. Uh-huh. Uh-huh uh-huh guy too We need that drive He just wanted to be because he ever seen a ghost he goes no, but they follow me up the stairs of dive sure No, I've never seen a ghost, but I've heard them Don't think that turned fast they duck out of the way. So I can't see that by the way That's interesting line was pretty insincere You guys know how I feel about actors If they're if they're reading something that somebody else wrote that they're great that that's awesome if they're just talking out the cuff
Starting point is 00:21:00 They're idiots. Yeah, they have nothing to say well. They feel like everything they say is so important, too, because they've read such important words that people love. Correct. When they get into you, it's very hot. Women, so that helps their self-esteem as well. Yeah, right. No, it seems so special when they truly give a great interview and talk about the stuff you really want to hear about, because they so rarely do it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:22 So in my next track here, you heard him say that he hasn't had experience actually seeing a ghost before, but he used to live in a 13,000 square foot mansion in Beverly Hills, and it was built in 1925. So of course, that's probably pretty haunted, I would imagine. Of course. So other people have seen it.
Starting point is 00:21:43 It looks like we have a ghost for brand. It was sitting there city to you totally disappeared track five right carl yes all and our housekeeper and my wife both saw this guy in the dining room there really and my son and i both heard and had the same experience with a voice when we were a white separate times, you know.
Starting point is 00:22:06 Yeah, bullshit. Uh-huh. Poor Paul Jimi. He's poor Paul Jimi. It's his show. You know what I'm on. You know, it's just so sad that he can't just go, you know, when I'm just going to complete
Starting point is 00:22:20 the changes to object here, because very few can even relate this. Where were you? Oh, sorry, I didn't make a call. Oh, you everything okay? Yeah, okay. We thought there was a ghost I thought it was you Well, we're about the phone call No, it was just trying to seamlessly join back in and then just screech it to all well No, it's kind of weird when you you disappeared from the picture. Yeah
Starting point is 00:22:41 You you were there and then the next shot you were gone. Yeah, the timing was kind of odd. Now, where do you want to phone call? Next time on the podcast, I'm going to be talking about this. Have you seen it go? Yeah. Last time I was on the drone mic shot. He's hairy. Oh, Lord. Okay. All right, guys. So what's happening here is now Paul Jimati feels a need to go along with this. No, no. So now he's gonna start talking about like his experiences. I guess his mother passed away when he was young. I don't know what that has to do with that. He has to do that. When that's for a baseball commissioner,
Starting point is 00:23:12 Bartlett, Gianmatti. That's how he started. I'm almost positive, yeah. I had a lot of these crazy experiences, ghosts and weird, precognitive things. I could tell the, you know, what song was gonna be on the radio turn the radio on the phone was about the ring the phone
Starting point is 00:23:29 would bring and I know who was gonna be calling and stuff and I think it's because I was very depressed what what what what what's up to the ghost no I just have to say if I was going through that I would play blackjack You can't just say pre-cognitive and think that suddenly we're just gonna believe everything because you use the big word It was too depressed. I love the fact that he could predict what song was gonna be on the radio Oh, it's 1984. It's gonna be thriller It's not that there's like 12 songs in a radio format these days too. Forder. I do it.
Starting point is 00:24:12 Now, what I like about this show, thankfully, because every podcast that was new were three people who agree with each other, I get very annoyed with. So thankfully, there's some balance here. Steven Asma is going to step in and explain that. Maybe they have an open heart to ask. You mean Dr. Stephen Asma. All right. But is it possible that you guys are,
Starting point is 00:24:32 I'll play the skeptic here. You guys are actors. And like maybe, you know, creative people, maybe are more imagination prone. Like you, not instead of delusion, but maybe you see the world through your imagination That was the beautiful walking on eggshell moments. You guys are fucking insane Well, he'd be basically said you're delusional. Yeah, I'm not saying you're delusional, but maybe you're delusional
Starting point is 00:24:59 Possibility it was great. I love Dr. Asma Anyone who's helping keeping this conversation going is my enemy. For some reason, it needs to change. It's ridiculous. Oh, well guess what, Drew, it does change and for the worst. I know. I cannot believe, I cannot believe that we start talking about dreams. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:25:19 I can't think of a more boring topic than someone explaining the dreams that they had. And Billy Bob used to have these dreams where he was flying and he wants to tell you all about it. It was a recurring thing for a period of a couple of years. And then it kind of went away. I wish it had come back, but I had the ability to, I couldn't fly. It's not like I started flapping my wings on a flu. I had the ability to jump up couldn't fly, it's not like I started flapping my wings and I flew.
Starting point is 00:25:45 I had the ability to jump up, I felt light as a balloon. I could jump up and float around the house, and look down, and, or I could be out of the field. I could jump up and I could be able to trees and birds, or I could see everything, but it didn't last. After a while, I would start to sink back down and then I would jump again but I was totally in control of getting off the ground and going up there this could fly uh-huh uh-huh uh listen shut up for a second
Starting point is 00:26:17 pelting about his interjections are the best amazing amazing amazing dream if it was even a dream I don't believe anything believe Bob is saying nothing. Oh bullshit. He's not credible I have to tell you I've actually had this specific dream where I'm able to jump up and see But you didn't know that about me. You know why? I've never talked about it on a podcast No, and I don't want to know it. And nobody cares. Nobody wants to know your dream that probably isn't real at all. And you might be making it up. We all have crazy dreams.
Starting point is 00:26:52 All right, and we don't have to share them. It's fine. So he goes out and out about dreams. He has his child and all the recurring dreams he still has. Now it's insane. And then never does that. It's like everything he says is interesting.
Starting point is 00:27:03 So they're like, whoa, what? Crazy. Here's a perfect example. My track never does that. It's like everything says is interesting. So they're like, wow, what? Crazy. Here's a perfect example of my track, Never Night here. And then I turn, I look back at the ladder and I start climbing the ladder again and I keep doing that. Wow. That's like, shit.
Starting point is 00:27:16 No, shit. Yeah. And then at some point, I either wake up or the dream dissolves or whatever. But yeah, I'm not over it. And know that's a more you've had that more recently don't oh my god wow
Starting point is 00:27:32 just a little indulgent are we Billy I'm not quit podcasting I don't know I can tell he's a pretty good like he likes to affirm the story though. He's really good at that Billy Bob thinks that everything he says is interesting. Yeah, sure. Yeah, indulgent Yeah, just a little a lot so then Paul Jim honey tries to out crazy Billy But this is my track time because I have a kind of notion that dead people continue to evolve and change and exist
Starting point is 00:28:08 wherever the hell they are. And that, you know, that, and your relationship in them, this is crazy. I'm saying something really crazy. But in your relationship to them can continue to evolve, and that they're still growing somewhere. And so when you see them in your dreams, they're telling you something, it may not necessarily be clear when it is. But boy, I sound really crazy. Was he trying to make it about him? I honestly, I think what Paul was trying to do
Starting point is 00:28:35 there was trying to make Billy Bob feel comfortable for him all this ridiculousness. He's like, oh yeah, I think all that crazy shit too, man. Yeah. Oh boy. And that's where I tapped out out and this is like 40 minutes into the show This entire show is just about ghost stories and dreams. I was like this is insane What a waste when those guys have lots of things I'd love to hear them talk about none of that none of it
Starting point is 00:29:03 Well, it's interesting because I was actually we were playing a podcast of True Crime podcast on the creep off this week and these women were quitting the show and they were kind of disappointed that it didn't work out. We were kind of hoping this would take off. This would be our full-time job. It didn't happen. They go, but you know, I'm not surprised because most podcasters were celebrities to begin with. That's how they become big. Oh, which is true, but not true crime. That's not true. I never fails before they start.
Starting point is 00:29:33 So that's not true. But she doesn't have a point there because if you think about it, what we just listened to, if that wasn't Paul Giamatti, Billy Bumpfurtler, no way. We never want to burn this. No, not in a million years. A million years, there would be like nonsense that five people would have downloaded, never looked at that. Wow. All right, so Bill Mar, you keep going back to Bill Marb.
Starting point is 00:29:56 I personally love Bill Marb's podcast, and the reason why I love it so much is because he gets his guest shit-faced, and I'm telling you, Carl had some clips on when he had Richard Drifus on. And the guy is literally just wasted like, falling out of his chair, yeah, slumped over. He just wasted it.
Starting point is 00:30:16 I like that in the podcast. And talking about banging his sister. They're wanting to beating off to his sister. Something like that. Oh my God, it was horrible. He said you ever have a movie make out kiss with your sister? No, I was like, no.
Starting point is 00:30:29 What? Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. So I honestly think that Bill, I like Bill Marto. And I like his show. There's some weird things about it for sure. But yeah, exactly. He hangs out in his man cave with another guy.
Starting point is 00:30:42 And they smoke weed. They smoke cigars and they drink hard liquor and The lights are down and they probably can't even see the cameras are there so everyone just lets their guard down And I created this on my show the other day It's kind of like what Howard's turned used to be how are you to get people to open up and say things They wouldn't say anywhere else and it would make news because you're like whoa Who would that person sleep with or whatever? Bill Mars kind of picked that up a little bit.
Starting point is 00:31:05 And he has a different approach to it, obviously. But so he had Billy Corgan on the show. And Billy Corgan's an interesting guest. I'm really, really angry. We have a lot of bills tonight. This is my theme for this week. People think this is not just random. No.
Starting point is 00:31:19 We got Billy Bob Thornton, Bill Mire, and Billy Corgan tonight. Bill Week. It's Bill Week over here. So let's start off with my clip number 11, and this is a video clip as well, but they're talking about Rod Stewart, and it's so funny, because every generation of people remembers the story.
Starting point is 00:31:40 Yeah. Remember this story about when we were kids? Remember that story? That they pumped Se me out of him Yeah, before no before I ever knew who rods it was I heard people would say did you hear about rod Stewart? I'm like first I don't know who rod Stewart is. So my first connection to rod Stewart was hearing this This apocryphal story about the gallon of common rod But I feel like that's bullshit talk with a story about the gal in a common rod that
Starting point is 00:32:05 i feel like that's bullshit that that that that that's that i was a gal in a cop that that that that was funny as bill is even pausing just fits it right out you know exactly what
Starting point is 00:32:20 he's talking about and as far as pumping stomach as a woman ever had to have her stomach pump because she blew too many people has done that many I mean I guess we don't really want to know because we like the story to live so we just assume that occasionally it happens who is hilarious though that this story has made the rounds everywhere in the world everywhere the world knows this story here to segment this on wtp the other day because when I was a kid the rumor was about one of the like the new kids on the block had to have their... That's true.
Starting point is 00:32:47 And I... The rumor is true. The rumor? Yeah, Jordan Knight. Really? Oh, I don't know. No, it's Jonathan. I think it's because when I was that age,
Starting point is 00:32:56 every cute girl had a poster of the new kids on the block of their locker. It's like, you know those kids are gay, right? Right. But remember the best part about it Drew? Who's Rod's wife? Was it Rachel Hunter? Rachel Hunter.
Starting point is 00:33:08 Yeah, she came into our studio and I asked her about it and she laughed hard because she knew about it way before she knew Rod Stewart. Yeah, which she thought it was hilarious. She mean Rod knows about it. Of course. Yeah, that's right. Just like Richard Geer knows about that gerbil in his ass.
Starting point is 00:33:23 But that's true. Isn't the Richard Geer gerbil thing just as big almost? Oh yeah, in true. What do you suppose is the basis for the Richard Geer thing? Just because he was so hot and somebody's like, that fucking guy gets all the women. I think it's just what Carl said regarding those new kids on the block. I think that there was a lot of women who found Richard Geer attractive.
Starting point is 00:33:42 And some dudes like, that guy gerbils in his ass. Did they have to put a gerbil in his ass? Couldn't they have just made him get a stomach pumped or something? That was already taken. You're right. As Rod's girl. I'm sorry, of course. I did inspire the Lemmy Wings episode of South Park.
Starting point is 00:33:58 Yeah, I also want to say this. I heard the way the Rod Stewart, Rod Stewart story went that he blew the U.S. C. football team. And I have no idea to anybody else here that. say this, I heard the way the Rod Stewart, Rod Stewart story went that he blew the USC football team. And I have no idea. Anybody else here that? Oh, you're the only person I've ever heard. The football teams gave to or they got blown. We just loved having a rock star blow than I think. They just, they were the Peter, their ace. They lined up with the Colosseum at midfield. It was right after Wayne. All right, this next clip, I think,
Starting point is 00:34:32 the group, everybody went over another name. Go celebrate with Stuart's house. Carl save us. True, so you said you watched this episode, so you might know what I'm gonna be setting up here here. Apparently you and Bill Mar have something in common. And when he tells the story, I'm going to be curious to know if you had a similar experience or not. Oh, interesting. I happen to go to college at Ithaca, New York at Cornell, where it was the hub for where speed came in. And our pot, we were pot dealers,
Starting point is 00:35:05 but when our dealer got something, we sold whatever he had. That's the way it worked. We were the low man on the, you know. So I remember getting this speed, crystal meth and crystal pens. There were two types. I've never had it since college.
Starting point is 00:35:20 I looked for it when I got out of college. It didn't exist. But the like four or five speed trips I took in college. I've never had a drug experience that good I mean you one very painful snort in each nostril and you were just flying for 12 hours Problem is then you couldn't sleep and I remember like just being up for like 24 hours Not similar couldn't sleep. And I remember like just being up for like 24 hours. Just watch the pages. This is not similar. Because you could talk over the very end there. Well, he goes on to say, yeah, he was up for 24 hours straight and he said he was
Starting point is 00:35:53 masturbating. The master master. And I will be sometime that he literally goes. He thinks he jerked out 24 times in the 24 hours. They can't believe his dicted and fall off. So that wasn't your experience. No, it was not my experience. And I did not live at the hub of the drug movement. times in the twenty four hours they can't believe is dictated and fall off so that wasn't your experience that was not my experience and i did not live at the hub of the drug movement
Starting point is 00:36:09 i was in blackberg virginia so the the the crystal meth or the crank that i smoke was probably not that good that's neither here nor there true i mean i i think the fact that it got Bill very horny and he couldn't fall asleep is really what we want to know. Yeah, I don't remember honestly. I don't remember either one of those things, but I don't remember
Starting point is 00:36:31 that. Well, I do remember I liked it enough to do it again a couple more times with my buddy Andy, but I don't think there were any chicks around and I don't think I don't think the horning is part really. I don't know is anybody else smoked that stuff? No. No. I do remember being I do remember being annoying on my nostril i do recall that part because i think we did snorted once your twice maybe uh... this is a
Starting point is 00:36:53 program cranking there were more than one there were like three i think as far as drugs go i believe that crystal that is a strong one uh... but i i just don't remember being up for a whole day or anything like that, it wasn't that big a deal. Probably is because I wasn't in Ithaca,
Starting point is 00:37:11 I was in Blackburg, so we probably got something that was stepped on. By the way, I live near Ithaca and trust me, everything stepped out of here. I think we had us at the point. The point is, we go on to talk about the rock star lifestyle and Billy Corgan's talking all about how you know girls throw themselves at you and even the
Starting point is 00:37:31 Rodies will go into the crowd and pick out hot sticks of it. If you blow me I can bring it backstage He's telling all these crazy stories and I'm but by the way, this is an entertaining episode. I enjoyed it Yeah, so then Bill Marr goes out to talk about he's just like, why are these rock stars getting married? That's for suckers. Almost all the rock stars get married. You know, like it must be either. Oh, I see where you're going with that. Well, I don't know where I'm going with that because I'm not sure whether it's because
Starting point is 00:38:02 well, I've just had all the pussy I could possibly get, which is ridiculous, because every day you're alive, you're a new, you know, it's a new day. I mean, it's like saying, I've had all the food I can have, eat, no, no, because I'm alive tomorrow, and I'll need it again. I get all the way things, but the difference is you need new food every day,
Starting point is 00:38:22 you don't need new pussy every day. Yeah. Yeah, we can find a new cuisine right maybe you uh... try french for a while and then go back to the party that's a good point i don't want to talk to every day wasn't uh... billy corking kind of a fun governor with his rodies i mean this guy's could go out and use backstates, passes to get chicks. And he's like, oh, but not our roadies.
Starting point is 00:38:49 Everybody else's roadies did it, but not ours. Yeah, Billy Corgan. So he has this interesting story because his father was a drug addict and a drug dealer growing up. So Billy Corgan didn't like drugs and didn't want to do drugs until he got, I guess I knew it was early 20s, so I'm not too, but yeah, he did say that. And now if you know anything about the smashing pumpkins, there was a lot of drug use and abuse and there were some issues and I think that they had a deal with some shit.
Starting point is 00:39:15 So I think Billy was probably not as lenient as like maybe the Motley crew guys when I came to touring. But he sounded like a cop blocker. I mean, I wouldrun cop blocker. He even blocked his own cock because he'd rather stay up all night talking to a girl than having sex at Bill Marys. Like, what, what are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:39:33 What was so exciting and he couldn't say it. He's like, that's not silly. Well, no. And he just made himself sound so intellectual at times, I thought. He always does. Like Billy Corgan always does. He always tries to be the smartest guy in the room Yeah, Billy Corgan. I like him as an interview because he's not trying to be someone he isn't yeah, that's true
Starting point is 00:39:54 Yeah, he's kind of a huge bag and it kind of comes out that way Oh, sorry, I'm not just gonna say he'll talk. He loves talking about wrestling, which is kind of fun He loves cats, so he'll talk. He loves talking about wrestling, which is kind of fun. He loves cats. He loves cats. So he is who he is. When he talks about, not wanting to be objectified by a woman, you know, who just likes his music and wants to fucking because he's his musician,
Starting point is 00:40:15 oh come on, this is gonna be a jack-to-fi get outta here. I mean, that's really, that's real serious fun governing. That's lame, but he's also talked about seeing shape shifters. I've seen them on the Howard Sturd show. I'm not sure if there's a reality seen them. Well, he also took 25 hits of acid. That one story. I told one Mars. So I should probably go on Paul Giamatti show. Maybe he will. But then referral for them. They need him. Wow. Amazing. We're going to change gears real quick. Then we'll come right back to it.
Starting point is 00:40:49 My track number 14, so there's an ad bad and Bill reads three ads. And this one is very odd. I've never heard a podcast or read an ad like this. I think a house ad, I guess. I'm not sure. Club random is brought to you by the audio marketing gurus at radioactive media. If you're responsible for marketing your company nationally,
Starting point is 00:41:11 how are you growing your business? Don't just Google and social media. When you can harness the power of audio and video and partner with shows like mine and an elevate your brand in a space away from your competitors. The team at radioactive media can get you there. They create campaigns airing nationally on podcasts, terrestrial, satellite, and streaming
Starting point is 00:41:31 radio. Radioactive Media has over 35 years experience in the field of audio marketing, and they can create a customizable campaign for your company's needs, just like they've done for hundreds of great companies, including ones you've seen here, like Signal Wire, heat holders, and wine enthusiast. Not a good less. You want to say like, I don't know, Ford or something. The Joe Rogan show, yeah, GM.
Starting point is 00:42:00 Now, I'm just saying like, when he says, like, these are the companies that we work with. Yeah. After all, now coming to have even heard of. So, I these are the companies that we work with. Yeah. I've thrown out company that I've even heard of. So, I don't know that's a good. Also, the term, I play there for you guys. I thought you would get a kick out of you've been in radio. I've been in marketing. The idea of audio marketing, you mean radio ads?
Starting point is 00:42:16 Radio ads. Yes. That's just trusted out more than it is. Radio ads are not. Radio that embarrassing that you have to call it audio marketing now. I guess so. Oh, yes. I guess so. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:42:25 Oh, boy. But isn't that what was that an ad? Yeah. Yeah. So this is the target audience for this is someone an agency or someone high up at a marketing role and a company that's making these decisions on who to work with for advertising. I don't know. It just seems like such a niche audience.
Starting point is 00:42:45 Probably bartered. They were looking for an ad budget, somebody to give them their ad budget and spend it on audio marketing, right? Exactly, yes. There's probably four people in that audience, all of them were going, what the fuck are you kidding? And those are your biggest accounts.
Starting point is 00:43:03 Get out of here. And they used to be the target for this messaging. This I was a partner at a digital marketing agency. So I would have heard this have been like, I don't give a shit. There's no way I would have known any of my clients to work for a free deal active advertising. And they just spent a shit ton of money to be on Bill Marshall.
Starting point is 00:43:21 That had been expensive spot, right? Well, it was a barter. Yeah, because obviously they're representing his show. So maybe there's something going on. Anyway, I to be on Bill Marshall. That had to be an expensive spot, right? Well, it was a barter, yeah, because obviously they're representing his show. So maybe there's something going on. Anyway, I just thought they was out. They were so unaware. At least Bill seemed to be really into the product.
Starting point is 00:43:32 He did. Really, I think so. I don't know. I don't know. I like he was just reading it. Yeah, look to me like he was asked how's he going. Yeah, exactly. He was.
Starting point is 00:43:41 Yeah, he was. I wish he should have taped it, right? Well, he didn't stumble at least. No, he's a pro. He's a pro, he's a pro. Yeah, he is. All right, let's get back to the fun stuff. So, track 15, Billy's father, as I said,
Starting point is 00:43:54 was a drug dealer who sold co-carrow in a weed. And so we're talking about that. So I was living like a really bad Tarantina movie all the time. Right. And we had guns in the house, we had stolen lawn mowers. You know what I mean? It was a weird, it wasn't Sanford and Son.
Starting point is 00:44:15 You know what I mean? It was like it was weird. All right. Two things here. First off, what was a bad Tarantino movie? What do you mean it was like a bad Tarantino movie? I'm used by that. But also, I've known a lot of drug dealers over my time.
Starting point is 00:44:31 None of them had a collection of stolen lawn mowers to buy mowers. That's pretty quirky. It was a crime of opportunity. They lived near some mower shop. I was stealing that. I don't even know how to say about it. It's so weird. Yeah, Bill Murs too sedated to be like,
Starting point is 00:44:48 what do you mean? You know, because a lot of them just could fly up because he's just like tricking his scotch and smoking a cigarette. He's like, yeah, all right, cool man. It's so cool. So I love the show. I know, it's kind of funny.
Starting point is 00:44:59 So this is great because Billy has a good guest. Billy tells funny stories and he knows to be succinct with them. I don't know if he is like training. He probably does media training or something. So he's gonna tell a story. They're talking about Bob Denver, you know, Gilligan.
Starting point is 00:45:13 Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I'm gonna get an island. Well man. No. Billy says, oh, I have a story for that. And I just want you to check this out because Bill Margibs him nothing. I can't tell you Bob Denver story? Bob Denver, I know exactly.
Starting point is 00:45:27 Yes. The play Gilligan. Oh, I know. So at one point, this is a slightly convoluted story, but I'll be quick about it. We had this woman who worked for us in the mid-90s whose name was Seven McDonald. She was Country Joe in the fish Country Joe McDonald's daughter. Oh, and her name was seven. And if you asked her how she got her name, she said, because my dad smoked seven joints that day. That's so. So at some point is you do sitting in a tour bus, the Bob Denver's name came up for some fucking reason. And she goes, oh, I used to live next door to Bob Denver. You know, say, you know, this is pretty internet. You know, so you know, we're desperate for any information on Bob Denver. Right. We got the inside scoop on Mr. Denver. She's like, yeah, he was always depressed because he
Starting point is 00:46:17 couldn't get any jobs post-gill again. Right. And, and he just used to sit in the backyard and smoke, join after joint, and just look kind of bummed out. And oh, by the way, he had monkeys and they used to jerk off all the time. So that was our. Monkeys too. Is that a good story? Yes, monkeys too.
Starting point is 00:46:36 We're really proud of you. He was really Bill Martin to say something. He was like, yeah, that's what monkeys do. That's a good story, though, right? That was a great story. Can I tell a Bob Denver story? that was an odd thing did believe you prep for this i don't know i mean that i thought that he was a great gas did you think so
Starting point is 00:46:54 yeah i don't know i thought he was a good guest i mean he may because that's a weird thing to just say can i tell a bob denver story and then he tells the story gets nothing is like is that a good story i love bill's reaction to the story was like uh... yeah and i'm leaning over the table to grab something there's the look at his face right there it's worth watching on the youtube channel to see bills reaction just on that clip
Starting point is 00:47:15 i have a body of a youtube channel yeah you should see the other one yeah please subscribe i have a bob denver story by the way you know we were in a group of Denver and he was talking about his boat and we're like, what you have a boat really? And he said, yeah, and and Mike Essin will what kind of boat and he's like, oh, yeah, it's great. I love it and then he mentioned that my cast one kind of Of course he did he was contributing. He was just trying to help and he mentioned though that the only time He hated it was when he's backing into the slip and go like oh no it's Gilligan backing into the slip and it just sounded like every asshole would do that to him and
Starting point is 00:47:53 skipper's pretty funny he's probably wearing the hat because he wanted to be recognized that i'm sure he was no i was a sad story though he really didn't do much after Gilligan's island he was don't be gill too, which was another big share. Before that. Yeah. Let's be complaining about.
Starting point is 00:48:09 So, I appreciate Billy bringing that up. We're going to find out why Bill didn't have a reaction to the story. He's going to explain it to my last track here. That's very common. You cannot go to a monkey cage where they shouldn't even have an enzo without seeing them jerking off. That's right, Kahn. I mean, you cannot go to a monkey cage where they shouldn't even have an in zoo without seeing them jerking off. I mean, that's a very, that's a... Believe it or not, I started interrupting you.
Starting point is 00:48:30 Believe it or not, I was once at a zoo, and these were these little kids, and they were trying to get the monkeys' attention. The monkey was, as we say, in wrestling, no-celling them. The monkey was just like this. And the kids were doing everything they can to get his attention. He was like this. It's true story.
Starting point is 00:48:50 They do that. So finally, they did something and have to get the monkey's attention and he looked at him and he started jerking off. And when they got to go horrified, he went. And he started laughing at them. He was like, he figured out the routine that if I do the jerking off thing and they get scared and I get to laugh, it was quite brilliant.
Starting point is 00:49:09 Bill's not giving him anything. He's got a follow up monkey jerking off story. He gets nothing for it. Yeah, Bill is really trying. I got to give it to him. So that bill says I have a Bob Dadver story because I guess he just wants to tell his Bob that bill says I have a Bob Denver story. I guess he just wants to tell his Bob Denver. Everyone has a Bob Denver story. How can you not want to tell a Bob Denver story? Precisely. So he says, yeah, so Bob Denver lived in North Carolina.
Starting point is 00:49:36 And he loved weed. This is in the 90s. It was hard for him to get weed. So he's having people malatume. And the feds busted him for getting weed set to his house by Mary Ann. Yeah, I remember that. I remember that story. Yes.
Starting point is 00:49:49 Didn't... Where did we call him? Did... Was there a call to Mary Ann or Bob after that story that you got all... Or maybe Don Wells? Yeah, I think when Don Wells came in, we talked about it and she was really cool. She was a real sweetheart. She was...
Starting point is 00:50:03 She was that character all the way. Yeah. She really was. It's funny that show man still lives on. It wasn't on that long either. We had virtually every person from that show come in or on the doing a phone interview at some point. Most came in. You know what? Because they had nothing else to do. And also because the Viper's hockey team which was what level hockey was at the i.e.l. the Turner Cup the coveted Turner Cup. Do you remember they brought the Turner Cup in? I do when the drunky hockey players that nobody knew came in with the Turner Cup. Those guys are great though. But they would always bring in old TV stars to drop the first puck and then sign autographs
Starting point is 00:50:41 between periods and so they love the Gilligan's Island and the Beverly Hillbillies people because we got Donna, Donna Douglas and the Baywatch people, the Baywatch people all came in from that, Donna Di'Erako came in for that. Oh, yeah. In Patrick Warburton, buddy. Oh, yeah. That's why buddy left his watch. He left his watch. Memories.
Starting point is 00:50:59 As I was at the AHL game last night, the roster Americans playing the Hershey Bears and the conference finals Unfortunately, nothing after two the bears came back and wandered three to one of the series I'm not liking our chances of the colder cup finals this year. What cup? The colder cup Excuse me, you know the Turner cup and not the colder cup. I don't Did you know the Turner cup Carl? No, I'm Cup. I don't. Did you know the Turner Cup, Carl? No, I'm not familiar with the eye, I feel better. Anyway, guys, this is shoehorned in,
Starting point is 00:51:31 but I always have mental notes when I listen to your show. And things I think about, I'm like, I gotta talk to them about that next time I'm on the show. And most of them by the time I get to the show, I get to the show, I get to the end part. So I just, I want to go. Well, such as, what are they?
Starting point is 00:51:44 Well, there's one thing that really stuck with me that I wanted to point out and it has to do with the Britney Spears Thing you guys were talking about yesterday where you know, she she puts out these posts on social media my tits Right, it does a good job of reading them something. I think I'm listening to Britney read them herself and She does this thing at the end where she does a PS And she does this thing at the end where she does a PS but then she does a PSS for the PSS And so PSS for post script and it's it's it's It's a PPS and then PPPPS Post script I know she's an idiot and there's a lot of reasons to think that she's more on but that's one one thing, like, you guys gloss over and I'm like, this is a PSS! Yes!
Starting point is 00:52:25 I guess we've read him so many times we're used to. I love it, that's a great point. That was well worth mentioning. Because I never, I did it completely glossed over, I glossed over me anyway. Yes, fuck you! Oh my, she always gets some time though, doesn't she? She's all we talk about in fact.
Starting point is 00:52:45 I know. We already talked about her once today too. I keep thinking she's gonna go away. I really do. I think I'm not worried about talking about her too much because I assume that she's, is she ever gonna go away? No. I mean, not until she dies, which might be soon.
Starting point is 00:52:58 Isn't everyone gonna get sick of her? Isn't TMZ gonna even move on? Cause I see stories about her. You know she moves the needle. You know people click on it. She's into a lisa monelle type of i've been saying stories about her lately where there's like six comments where there used to be a thousand that's kind of an indicator to me slowing down but
Starting point is 00:53:15 i could they they're gonna still go to that well because she still gets clicks well she also made up with her mom which is a good story arc you gotta keep the story going no i know this from watching these podcasts that I'm in the middle of now, is you got to like, hey, Chad, Zubak, and then he's your buddy again, then he's your man of the big guys. He's got to keep this thing going.
Starting point is 00:53:35 Yeah. Carl, I have an interesting question. I wanted to ask you this, and I completely forgot about the other day. The fighter and the kid. OK, is that Brendan Shaw and Kallen? Yeah, Brian Callan. Yeah. Okay, is anyone else on that show? No, they there was a time when Brian Callan was in trouble and he was off the show and they brought him to other people,
Starting point is 00:53:53 but now there's just those two again. Okay, anyway, I was looking at their their YouTube and they're doing like 40,000 views, which is really good. I mean, we've... the best thing we have is davel and out who has like twenty two thousand was more so excited we're beside ourselves those guys have been a long time they used to get hundreds of thousands of use they're down to like forty thousand and the other show the golden hour is i think down to about a hundred thousand days to do seven eight hundred thousand when the old vahn was part of that
Starting point is 00:54:24 i assume the christ delia thing might have something to do with it is something happening there with christaliyah do you have any sense for that? are you well yes for sure with christaliyah and my buddy boy and mic goes deep on that kind of stuff and i'm and i were talking about who are these socials the other day i want to get him back on wtp to get into that because i think you guys, actually, Drew, I heard this from you. You were talking about how you're watching a show watching the Golden Hour and Chris get his phone
Starting point is 00:54:51 and realizing the Rolling Stone article came out, like at a real time his phone was just like, oh shit. Yes. That was it. I thought I was. There were a few shows that actually broke that down. Exactly the time that that was being taped,
Starting point is 00:55:03 exactly the time when Rolling Stone's story came out and there's Chris DeLio looking at his phone and he cannot take his eyes off his phone. They're recording for another half an hour and I think one of them even says, Chris, what's going on in your phone for Christ's sake because paying no attention to the show? Oh, area. So I want to dive more into that because the fact that Christel has a career surprising to me based on the allegations that all these people have come out and talked about what he's done.
Starting point is 00:55:28 But you know what I think it is though true? Part of it at least is the fact that they got onto YouTube and we're doing a YouTube show before all the other podcasts kind of caught onto that. I mean, you've recognized this, I've recognized this. Where it's like, you need to have a YouTube presence and you'll set your major show, you're at least have a YouTube presence. And you know, it's not your major show. You're at least putting clips up there or maybe you're just streaming the show,
Starting point is 00:55:49 just like you're putting out a podcast. And so there's just way more things to watch now. People are subscribing to so many different shows that I think that those guys are boring. They don't talk about anything. Nothing happens on the show. It's just like hanging out with your buddies kind of style podcasts, which gets boring and you get old. So you'd rather watch it this morning. They're not that funny.
Starting point is 00:56:07 The Joe Rogan thing, which I guess is what launched them. I mean, how long can that keep a show, you know, standing on two feet? Well, only for so long because it has to, people will not invest in a show for years and years and years if it's not delivering. That show doesn't, in my opinion, deliver a whole lot of comedy.
Starting point is 00:56:24 Now, Chris Delia is a pretty funny guy but i mean he's really pushing it about as far as you can go why for example luis ck why is he pretty much shunned and crystal isnt what's the difference that odd because yeah if you think about like seris silverman and some of these people came out and even said yeah he did that to me but i thought it was funny. He asked my permission. I said sure. Sometimes I said no. He said there were a few people who are really, really angry and their response to people making the accusation back in the day was almost unforgivable. It was terrible. I agree. But Chris D'Alea has done worse and more women, younger, some underage. I mean it's just the worst story.
Starting point is 00:57:06 Well, it doesn't have his initials tattooed on any women as far as I know. I think that's like, that's kind of the next level, right? That's when you know this is a sex call. Yeah, it's branded or tattooed. It sounds like nexium, it really does. You know, telling people they have to do whatever he says, whenever he says, it sounds so fucked up.
Starting point is 00:57:24 I would think theaters would stop booking him i know that that's a great point think about that because if you really dive into what christalie is doing is controlling these women these younger women who are star struck and in love and he's saying you need to be it by your phone at all times and if i text you by text me back immediately and i need you to be home at a certain time and meanwhile lewe ck goes hey do you mind if i jerk off in front of you? And they said, oh, he's like, all right, that's cool.
Starting point is 00:57:48 And Chris Delia jerked off in front of a lot of girls who didn't want to be and he didn't ask. He did that to... Louis C. K. confessed immediately. I went, yeah, I almost got back and was wrong. Which by the way, worked for Letterman. I don't know why I didn't work for Louis C. K. I'm, that's weird, I don't get it.
Starting point is 00:58:05 Yeah, there is a very different range, and I always think it depends on how big you are, but Louis CK was huge. I mean, people love the guy. Still is. You still is, you're right. Wow, I mean, not as big as he was though, Mark. He lost the movie, lost the show. He lost a lot of facts.
Starting point is 00:58:21 He's not doing the stuff that he used to do. And for a long time, he wasn't even touring. It took him a while to come back. I mean, that really halted his career. I wonder if he just wants to do this now, like just put out just tour what he does and then put it on on his website. Maybe he doesn't want to deal with all that.
Starting point is 00:58:37 Not sure he has that many choices, to be honest. Chris D'Lia is still doing it the traditional way he's always done it. And I'm kind of surprised that he does have those choices i would really think somebody would be but i don't shut that down what i mean is i don't think louis wants to do a podcast or anything i can't imagine to lia being on a tv show or anybody putting him in a movie no probably not no not now that's one place he has been shut out of he was
Starting point is 00:59:01 was he knocked off a show yeah yeah okay so he's lost that but if you can sell thirty five seat uh... rea you know uh... houses like he is continued to do it released that big a deal and a louis tours too we have no he didn't for a while theaters would not have him for a while
Starting point is 00:59:19 i'm sure there's also the height in the peak of the uh... you know times up in all that crystal here has not stopped what i mean it sounds like he's always kept doing it even when he said i'm doing the work they proven that he was doing exactly what he said he wasn't doing at that time that document that came out they could they caught on with the time codes and everything totally busted him so uh... it's not that i'm trying to you know make theater stop booking i'm just
Starting point is 00:59:44 surprised that that there hasn't been more response other than Journalism because usually there's no journalism. I mean surprise in his wife is standing by him I mean he's totally humiliated her love this No horrible and he and he used his wife when he was getting around at the first time on my cell I love Calvin Oak Calvin is so wonderful I didn't think he was crying and then he was getting around at the first time. Oh, and my child, I love Calvin. Oh, Calvin is so wonderful. I didn't think he was crying. And then he was posting stuff like, oh, I never dreamed marriage could be so sexy.
Starting point is 01:00:10 And meanwhile, he's texting. He's checks like crazy and telling him. I know we knew he was lying. Because then he's very discreet like, wait a second, Calvin. Ha, ha, ha. But honestly, that woman is in for a huge payday. I don't know why, I don't know what she's waiting for.
Starting point is 01:00:28 I don't know, but my point about the, the low numbers of views is, can those shows stand up getting 40,000 views? I mean, with that, with a few hosts and behind the scenes guys, I just, I guess it depends on what they're doing on Patreon as well, because a lot of these shows do like an extra hour a week or something, you can only get on Patreon. I haven't checked in a while, a lot of these shows do like an extra hour a week or something you can only get on a Patreon. I haven't checked in a while but some of those shows have pretty big pretty big Patreon numbers. Yeah, take a look at the fighter and the kid and the gold an hour
Starting point is 01:00:52 I just wonder if that's been dwindling because it just seems weird that the views of Dwindle and the Patreon will hold up I'm in a minute wishing that they you know lose everything or anything like that I just never thought that Brendan Shawb in particular seems to be the internet's universal joke that he's, he just isn't funny. He's terrible. They get a lot of hate viewers. Oh, they do.
Starting point is 01:01:14 You go to their sub-right, it's the sub-right, it's started off as fans and now everyone out there hates their gods. And I guess it was everyone, I guess that's the arc, but it is bizarre to me that they can maintain a career in something where the people who watch you Don't like you the people don't watch you don't like you. It's like this can't be good Yeah, when we had Dave on we did here from Crowder people who you know, of course they hate us They hate Dave, you know, you get that strong reaction I just don't get the feeling they're that there's that really incredibly loyal following for Brian Callan and
Starting point is 01:01:45 feeling there that there's that really incredibly loyal following for Brian Callan and Brendan Shawb who are just going to stick through them stick with them through thick and thin. I just doesn't seem like that, but somehow they're still doing it. They don't I don't know any of those people. It's funny because I guess it's a West Coast thing. I don't know because we can't relate where we are because I don't know a single person who's right or die with the fighter of the kid or the golden. Do they still go on Joe Rogan those two guys i haven't checked your own and while probably although in christalie i would say
Starting point is 01:02:10 definitely not you know i'm sure it's just as himself from them i would be surprised if they did because it just seems like joe rogan would have figured out their kind of a joke but you know i i was asking was it i think was asking brandon like what what how did the ovanguette you said always on joe rogan all the time which that does that explains it yet in his case
Starting point is 01:02:28 not that he's not rogan as a way of blowing people up not that the ovon's not good and he's beloved he really is but that it really seems like if you're on joe rogan you enter in different stratosphere i did try to listen to joe rogan i think it was last night he had steven right on recently uh... we all love Stephen right. Oh, yeah. Sure. That guy had dripped as a podcast like that. I'm like, I'm like laying in bed trying to even hear what he's saying. He's just like mumbling
Starting point is 01:02:55 and like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All right. It's not a good guest. Not fun. Is he still funny? Oh, he's hilarious. He's a right. I don't know. I can't hear him. I get it. All right, call tickets are on sale for who these podcasts at the magic bag September the 15 VIP tickets available to and we'll talk to you soon, man. Yeah, whtp live.com is where you can get those tickets for the magic bag September 15, which is a Friday night. Also, I just want to point out my sub right is not
Starting point is 01:03:23 happy with me right now speaking Speaking of subreddits, I did a little experiment on the most recent WATP because I couldn't record on Saturday. We normally do. So we recorded on Friday. And I decided, let me just do one that's open up to everyone. Normally, the only people who could watch the show live are people on our Patreon and supercast. So I just put it out there and then we started getting super chats. I didn't ask for it people started super chat I got I started reading them and now the subreddit's like oh this show sucks Carls is reading super nice. We're not gonna get it. It was just an experiment. Don't worry We're not gonna do it's gonna be behind the paywall. No superchance going forward. Okay glad you cleared that up
Starting point is 01:04:00 I was so angry, but true if you want to experiment with that I'm sure people Clear that up. I was so angry. But true if you want to experiment with that, I'm sure people will want that. I think I really don't want to enter that world. That's another conversation. All right, Carl. That's yeah. We'll see you. Easy for you to say. Hello, backslers, cousin Roos and rubber digs. Welcome to another bonus edition of who are these podcast. I'm your host, Carl Heyenberger. You know me, producer Chris is here.
Starting point is 01:04:34 What's up, producer Chris? Oh, hey, oh hey to you. W-A-T-P-N-W-A-T-P. And Jen from the Jingle department is also here. Hey, Jenny. Blue Jackalaka. I'm trying something new. It's our new.
Starting point is 01:04:47 Oh, right, take two. Take two. Hello, back slavers. It's not gonna be any better. I got a note from somebody. Actually, something is a screen grab because everything that happens with the public school system in California
Starting point is 01:05:02 is readily available for people to find. Centering John has an emergency teaching permit that expires on June 1st. So he's able to continue to teach, not being qualified at all. But there's like a word emergency. Yeah, the word emergency is what took me off to this. So that's the deal with Stuttering John.
Starting point is 01:05:25 He's got teaching gigatolese, June 1st and then who knows? I would feel slighted if I were those kids. Oh yeah. We got you an emergency teacher. Again. That's brutal. All right guys, where do we leave off? Easy for you to say, who was he bashing?
Starting point is 01:05:45 When we last left. When we last left, Southern Johns autobiography. Do they want to remember? Artie was beat to a pulp. The guy discovers them and then just bashes them. Always be bashing. Yes, always be bashing.
Starting point is 01:06:00 We have some examples of that today. It starts with a Robin Quivers chapter, which by the way, the name of this chapter. Robin Quivers, friend, unless Howard is involved. That implies that Robin is Howard's puppet with no autonomy at all, right? It's a thick thing to, it's the name of the chapter. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:19 Kind of a thick thing to say or think or make a chapter title, friend or not. Yeah. She um tries to be friend him it seems though and he still shits on her anyway. Oh yeah. Well it's funny because at the very end of the chapter he does say that they still text each other. I doubt it. And we still exchange occasional text to this day. I wish you weren't a liar. I got bullshit on that one.
Starting point is 01:06:49 I don't see any reason why Robin is messaging instead of doing John Moana does. Qualifies it with occasional. So I would say not exist in, but even texting socks, we all know. Like that's not a big deal. Responding to somebody. Responding to somebody asking you for money
Starting point is 01:07:04 isn't really a new phone who does the only thing it's back as a response. She texted me. So he starts off by saying that Robin just does whatever how or tells her to do apparently. And then this is like the first thing he says about her. The first time I met Robin was actually limped
Starting point is 01:07:25 into the studio on crutches. She broken her legs somehow, probably from bending down to kiss Howard's ass. Mm. Cause that's how you kiss someone. Yeah, I'll bite bending down and then you can break your leg doing that. You know what it sounds like to me?
Starting point is 01:07:38 It sounds to me like Robin is a Howard Cuck. It sounds like she's Cuck in for Howard. If you ask me, I don't know. Just throw it out there. Basically, we don't want the word, cock now. Yes. It means everything.
Starting point is 01:07:50 It means anything. It's a verb. Correct. Doing everything. Oh, boy. Okay. So I know you picked up on this, Jenny Jingles, and I saw your clips, but this was hilarious.
Starting point is 01:08:03 John talking about when he started his internship on the Howard Stern Show. But I never complained. I knew from past experience, he'd never complained at a job. He knew, to never complain at a job. According to the Southern J. He never complained. He was on air complaining constantly.
Starting point is 01:08:20 So what I did, as I went, what is he talking about? I'm gonna go to YouTube and I'm gonna type in Southern John complaining on the Howard Stern Show. Ooh. And here's the first thing that popped up. He was having an argument with Vinnie Favoli. This is from July of 2004.
Starting point is 01:08:36 So this is near the end of John's run on the Howard Stern Show. And Vinnie Favoli is telling John how terrible John was on some special, he recorded it for K rock. And it was horrible. Yeah. And he said, everybody told me that you suck. I'm always winning your live shows.
Starting point is 01:08:50 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I'm sorry Vinny nobody use you as any kind of broke his about some music. I wasn't about you How would you try to recreate the Howard Stern show on Christmas? No, it's not
Starting point is 01:09:08 So John's like I didn't want to do this show. They're forcing me to do it. That's complaining That's the complaining by definition right there His whole book is a complaint. He can play complain all the time No, shit I'll see for you to complain. Yeah, Howard didn't couple minimum enough and then pay him enough and it's just Completed for complain so he's entered in giving up kids the popcorn was chewy Yeah, I know I know what about complaining about Christmas gifts the tin was too deep I don't know if we've covered that on the show before but he complains about that quite a bit
Starting point is 01:09:43 So I'm watching this video of him and Vinnie Favoli. If you don't know who Vinnie Favoli is, he was the head of late-night programming at CBS. I believe he's a co-creator of Comedy Central and he was a character on the Stern Show for a while. He was a big fan and he would call in all the time. Sometimes he was in studio like this time. And if fucking him and John argued with each other is like children. Then I retaliated, but he started it. And then, and then you started telling me,
Starting point is 01:10:12 you don't need to fight with everyone. No, I love this. Yeah, he started it now, we're not in it. I didn't do anything. And I was like, John, everyone fights with you. Like what do you mean he started it? You're the problem here. How do you not know that? So this is the funniest thing. And I know I'm getting off track immediately
Starting point is 01:10:29 here. I apologize. But I'm listening to this audio from 2004, the Howard Stern show. And Vinnie's trying to say that John's problem is he walks you on trying to be Howard all day. He's like, dude, you think you're Howard, and he did this show for K-Rock, you were trying to be Howard, you're not Howard, and Jack goes, oh no, I am never trying to be Howard. I am my own person, I always have been. So you feel he goes around all day trying to be me? He's out of control.
Starting point is 01:10:56 You know what, let him talk. I want to hear what he's complaint is with you. Come on, you're in some people, and you know, you do it because you live in this glass house. I mean, you know, but I guess because you stutter, and I feel bad about that, that you in some people, you know, you do it because you live in this glass house. I mean, you know, but I guess because you start and I feel bad about that, that you have the problem, but you attack people because you think everyone's gonna attack you.
Starting point is 01:11:11 Why don't we go back, you know what, Vinnie, if this was all true and stuff, why don't we go back to my fifth grade report card and watch with the teacher wrote about me there? Oh my gosh. Did you write it some day? It said that I asked. Ask.
Starting point is 01:11:23 You know what I'm saying? She always asked. I'm worried, you ask that way ask. Ask. Ask. You ask out rages questions. Always, always a life. So that's a good thing. Having fun. Yeah. It was always me. Outrageous. It was all art. That was a good. I was. I was. I was. I was. Well, Vinny. I did not. I'm like, how would I actually put it in his book? John, John, no offense. How are you? I had about I had about 10. I do enjoy it,
Starting point is 01:11:45 but I've had 10 guys asking outrageous questions before you. I don't know. No. That's a really good point. I didn't pick up on that. They wouldn't write the life of the party. You're in school. Shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 01:11:58 And listen, and who wrote that? It's not sense. Yeah, it was party class party and it was in crown. Yeah. Well straight ups, but they say you're the life of the party. So you got that going for it. It's pretty cool. All right.
Starting point is 01:12:15 Sorry. I had a side track for a minute there. Let's go back to John's book now. Yeah, I just could believe to read the thing. I'm just happy to be listening to you. He's talking about a fifth grader of work. I just get fucking unbelievable. And yet a little I'm just happy to be listening to you. You're talking about a fifth grader or a board guard. It's just fucking unbelievable. And yet a little predictable.
Starting point is 01:12:27 Yeah, a little bit. A little bit. So this is about Robin, who is not funny, but it seems like the kind of person you could easily, if not be friend, be friendly with. Of course. Yeah. And how does this guy manage to fuck that up?
Starting point is 01:12:41 Well, first off, there's a thing about kissing and telling. It's literally, yeah, literally. It's a thing that's the shrouded upon. It's not very classy to do that sort of thing. Well, especially the way he did it. Oh, well, you mean like in a book and on the air. Yeah. When Robin dropped me off at the subway station, we kissed goodbye.
Starting point is 01:13:06 It was on the lips, but I still maintain that Robin slipped me a little bit of her tongue. I brought it up on the air, but she infatically denied it. But I don't know. I'm pretty sure I felt her tongue into my mouth. Later on after I left, she started stupping Jim Florentine. So maybe she secretly had a thing for long hair and funny white guys. So delusional. Yeah, you're calling yourself funny. That's the first thing I was upset about.
Starting point is 01:13:29 But secondly, to think he's even in the same league as Jim Forrenty. Now, I'm a guy, so I don't know this, but I believe that women find him attractive. Is that right, Jen? Yes. Jim Forrenty is a good-looking guy. He's a good-looking guy. He's funny guy. Right.
Starting point is 01:13:42 I... So, do you know what, John is neither of those things. He's not good-looking, he's funny guy. Right. Southern Jenna's neither of those things. He's not good looking, he's not funny. Not even close. So the fact that, and this is the same thing when he was going after Alicia Jordana, because she used to date Benji, so he's like, oh, I can get her.
Starting point is 01:13:55 Like, he's got this weird thing in this math that he doesn't his head. Where he's like, oh, Robin, I actually wanted to fuck me because then she banged him for it, dude. He's got the absolute worst personality on top of it all. That's really his problem. It's not what he looks like now, maybe, buddy.
Starting point is 01:14:09 But somebody, Jen's like, Carl, Savo with the, he's not a good looking guy. He's a horrible person. He's a terrible guy. Good point, I'm sorry. I looks at nothing to do with this, you're right. Literally nothing. But why would he tell this story,
Starting point is 01:14:23 if Robin said she didn't put her tongue in your mouth, then leave it at that He doesn't even sound like he's that convinced out that you're right. No, he sounds like he's convinced that she did No, I know but not not even that much though, and if she said she didn't then be like, okay Well, I guess I thought she'd put whatever But he's bringing this shit up So weird humble the book is riddled with things that shouldn't be victory laps. Right. Hard for him.
Starting point is 01:14:48 Yes. Good. This is yet another. Good boy. I feel like her tongue wound up in his mouth because she's like, back the fuck off. Yeah. Her tongue or rape whistle.
Starting point is 01:14:58 Everything was in my mouth. Couple knuckles. Pepper sprays delicious. Brass knuckles. All right. So John's trying to tell the story about their friendship, him and Robyn's friendship. And he says this, I would do odd favors for Robyn, one of which was cat sitting or cats at her apartment in Queens. Why, how was that an odd favor?
Starting point is 01:15:27 Watching someone's pets. That's an odd. I had that clip for a different reason. What did you have that for? Cat sitting her cats. Yeah. What else would you be doing? And I have another example of that.
Starting point is 01:15:40 It's number four. Okay. Howard had hired a monologue writer to write a monologue jokes. Yeah. He does that all the time. Oh, and I should have pulled this three quarters of the way through this chapter. He goes, and Robin Quivers.
Starting point is 01:15:55 Yes, it's all about Robin. We know by now. Wait, Robin, who? Oh, Quivers, oh, okay. All right. God, he should have written a comedy writer to write comedy for this book or hired an editor to edit his book. I Got an editor to do editing That's funny. I didn't pick up on that. Oh, I did on favors like cat sitting or cats
Starting point is 01:16:20 And talk sitting or cats. What else would you be doing if you're cat sitting? Bird watching your cats. It was a very odd favor. She asked me to do. Oh, and then this is an example of John Busting Robbins balls. John loves to brag. Anytime, John's ever been on the air. I swear he's written about it in his book. He's like, you guys might remember me from such times
Starting point is 01:16:43 when I was talking about Robin was eating cheeseburgers. When she was on the Atkins one, I would order her hamburgers, and she would only eat the meat, and I would tell Howard on the air that Robin's wolfing down a bunch of burgers. It was all in good fun, and God knows she teased me. No, it wasn't in good fun.
Starting point is 01:17:00 I, he's always such a tattled hail. He's, I'm confused by this whole thing So John is obviously the Aaron boy because he's ordering robbing her burgers and she asked for no role Right, you get it without the fucking bond and she right he did it wrong Yeah, and the heck and style I Wasn't he's like and then I told honor immediately right like so what so she was eating burgers I didn't even know what the tail tail is here.
Starting point is 01:17:26 Well, he's tailed hailing to someone who eats potatoes. Oh, right. It's just, yeah, Howard's got a weird diet that's for sure. Yeah, for sure does. So I didn't understand what the point of that was, except for he's so good at busting balls. I just have to say before you go on, yeah, I've listened to this particular type of episode
Starting point is 01:17:46 that you guys do, it is so much harder to pull clips from this than I thought, because everything's glippable. And yet he doesn't ever shut up enough to eat your way in there to get anything. That's correct. Yes, it just keeps going and going and going. It's all nonsense.
Starting point is 01:18:00 I have a huge admiration for you guys. Well, honestly, we're putting more work into this than we should be. What we should have done, if I wouldn't know, we're treating it like it's a book. What I should have done, is we should have just sat down and just hit play on it, and just reacted the first time, and we probably could have milked this for, I don't know, 3,000 hours of content,
Starting point is 01:18:21 because it really, it's taking us so hard to get through this thing. And I'm working really hard to not pull everything. It's hard not to. It's hard not to. I'm trying. I'm trying not to respond to every single thing that he says. I might be jumping ahead, but I just can't wait. So please forgive me. We have the collection, okay.
Starting point is 01:18:40 We left our asses off. I left my ass off. And he left his ass off. And now we have... We were on the floor laughing. We ran out of asses off. I left my ass off. And he left his ass off. And now we have, we're on the floor laughing. Yeah. We ran out of asses. Yeah, I have that one, too. Well, he's changing it up.
Starting point is 01:18:51 I have an addition if you want. I got you Clipsick. That's for you. Okay. I never complained. Is that what you're looking for? That's it. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 01:19:00 He does come back to that again, which we'll talk about. Because that is a Couple chapters away. I'm a celebrity get me out of here literally That's the name of the chapter. I was able to get out of here literally. We get enough that that's the joke Fucking idiot. It's so stupid. Anyway, getting back to the Robin chapter. So John was irritated they had this meeting with the Heineken guys. Now Heineken's a sponsor of the Howard. I believe it's pronounced Heineken. He's a Heineken guy. So he has this meeting
Starting point is 01:19:33 with the Heineken guys and they want to send everyone to Amsterdam. So John's in this meeting and they don't realize that John's the one who does the ad read. Who cares? Who gives a shit? Sorry they're not spot checking, you're fucking ad reads, John, who cares? They wanted us to go to Amsterdam, which seemed cool at the time. I was already a little irritated with them,
Starting point is 01:19:54 because when I told them that I did all of the Heineken commercials on the air with Howard, they had no idea. I was like, shit, man, I'm your fucking Howard Stern spokesperson and you have no idea. Fuck those guys, and the truth is I barely drank kind of again. I was an amstel light guy I'm so like is a hineken product Yeah, maybe so furious
Starting point is 01:20:14 Hineken Fuck those guys and the truth is I barely drank kind of again. Do he takes everything is a slight? Yeah Hey, did you know that I sometimes read the ads? No, we don't listen. What the fuck? Fuck you guys. So now on, I'm drinking angstle light. Ha ha ha ha. Well, I didn't even understand why he's upset about that. For some reason, I think once again,
Starting point is 01:20:37 John thinks he's a bigger deal than he is. So he's like, hey, guess what, guys, good news. I'm reading your ads. You're here, they're here to start hearing John Melendez himself, and they're like, whatever. Who? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:50 We are not from here. Yeah. So then the Heineken guys said this. They looked at Gary and said, fuck John. I, I like these Heineken guys. They're pretty funny. They're some good points. Again, I doubt it. But it's so stupid because.
Starting point is 01:21:07 They should have. John turned down the trip to Amsterdam because his wife's pregnant and whatever. No, he said, and it might have been after 9-11. Everybody in New York knows when that was. And elsewhere. Yeah, I caught that. That was interesting.
Starting point is 01:21:21 Yeah, when was 9-11 again? Was that in September? I don't remember. What year was it? What day? Confused by that whole thing. So anyway, John turned down the trip to Amsterdam. And the guys were like, yeah, what?
Starting point is 01:21:37 Now, how do you guys like, what? Are you still here? Yeah. Who gets a shit? Chad, his book is riddled with nonsense. Like, it's so bizarre because he writes about things that no one could possibly care about and it's baffling to me that he remembers it.
Starting point is 01:21:57 Doesn't even make sense that he remembers this shit. So in-cats a quenchil in every single way. Yeah, it's almost like not a whole lot has gone on for him. Yeah. Go figure it. So then after he gets the job of the tonight show, he has a phone call with Robin Quivers.
Starting point is 01:22:14 And Robin Quivers. Robin, right. That's not him, right. And Robin says to him, this is a private conversation. Good for you. Good for you. There are times that I wish I could leave the Howard Stern show as well. And this is pretty well documented. Robin was trying to get her own show. I don't know if she would love to Howard Stern or not,
Starting point is 01:22:33 but she was trying to do her own show and she wanted like a the view style show or something like that. And well, fucking still doing moron goes on the air the next day and throws around to the bus. She even confided in me on a phone call that she might leave and do her own thing. Then she about face it on the air about four years after I left, she came to LA and called me. We had dinner and I confronted her about it. She said she'd been between a rock and a hard place and that she was friends with
Starting point is 01:23:01 both of us, but the show was where her bread was buttered. Yeah. That's where she gets her paycheck. So when you go out in the air and you go, yeah, you know what, Robin said Howard, she wants to get the fuck out of here too. Of course, she's gonna be like, what are you talking about, John?
Starting point is 01:23:12 Yeah, fuck it asks you. You know what the word confided means? Right, yes. A full frame clip. Yeah, even wrote that. It is bugger, right? What did the idiot Robin has? She told me something I shouldn't have said out loud.
Starting point is 01:23:24 I did. It's from the Latin confidence. And then she denied it. Confidential. And then he confronted her about it four years later. Four years later. Remember when I say in bag to you on the Howard Stern show like what the fuck? Why what's up with that? She should have been confronting him about it four years later.
Starting point is 01:23:43 Jesus Christ. All right. So now he does this quick chapter called Back on the Stern Show and it's bizarre. It's comes in out of nowhere. It's very short and it starts off with bashing KC Armstrong. Yeah. Yeah. Which is again, always be bashing. This is the ABB rule. He introduces KC. It has to bash him. Gary had hired his new protege, Casey Armstrong, to help him produce the show. Casey had a radio show in college that Gary liked and he was Gary's but boy. He was carried his butt boy.
Starting point is 01:24:19 What's the point of that sentence right there? Someone was doing something that got attention that didn't garner him any attention. So there's got to be an insult. Well, actually, now they think about it. If I'm reading between the lines, KC was promoted over John. KC was a producer of the show. He was in the writer's room. He, I mean, he came on our show and talked about this. John didn't learn how to use the software. John wasn't involved in the writing. He wasn't involved in any of the stuff.
Starting point is 01:24:48 So of course, in John's mind, oh, that's just because he was Gary's butt boy. Not because he earned it or was a better worker. So there's some ass kisser-y at foot. He's gonna use the spec. I would say there's some cocking. Yeah, so it's a little chat, bro. Not only do I got two, yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 01:25:04 Oh, well, he was only the producer of the show because he was kissing everyone's ass all the time and learning how to use a software. Yeah, also knew how to and doing his job and coming up with ideas and not wondering what to do. Not shitting for an hour. So then they bring up Ralph, who's Howard stylist. And we got a bash Ralph now too. And that's time. Who's gonna be Docs? I hate to be reading this book and see my name,
Starting point is 01:25:32 job, I got, here we go. A girl, he's a good guy. Just kidding. Yeah. Ralph got hired as a makeup wardrobe guy if they're sending in a fan letter. The guy's from E and I would laugh in the control room at Howard's dumb outfits. One day Ralph had him in a Charlie Brown shirt.
Starting point is 01:25:51 We were on the floor laughing. The best was Howard's picture in private parts where 50 year old Howard was dressed like Kurt Cobain. At that same shoot Ralph was goofing on me because I had a blue suit with brown shoes. He said they didn't match. What a dummy. Have the news guys in New York aware in that. Ooh, high fashion news guys.
Starting point is 01:26:11 So, John, we've seen you in a suit. I know. I was thinking, I'm like, if Rob was goofy at you for your suit, he was probably right. Yeah. He probably was out to something there. What a fucking bizarre thing to write in there. He's like, rough sucked as the stylist, all of his clothes were terrible, and he made fun of me, what? Fuck him. You were making fun of all the time.
Starting point is 01:26:31 I told the story backwards, I said. Yeah, you were making fun of me, your book. He's like, this guy wants to tell me that I sucked. And fuck him. Jesus. Now you suck. All right, then this is the clip that we played earlier about the monologue. And
Starting point is 01:26:47 I picked up on something here. Howard had hired a monologue writer to write a monologue jokes. So around seven o'clock each morning, Howard would read this page of jokes and try to make it seem like he was speaking off the cuff. It was so completely embarrassing. Already and I would sit there uncomfortably. We Arty and you would sit where? Cause I know Arty was in the studio. And it is chair with a microphone. I would also sit in Arty's chair. It's very comfortable.
Starting point is 01:27:15 I'd sit on a toilet. Yeah, I know. What is he talking about? Arty and I would sit there uncomfortably. What does he mean by that? I assume that Arty was also sitting down. Separately uncomfortable. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:27 What the fuck was the point of that? And again, just like bringing shit up that could possibly get people pissed at Arty. Did Arty say he didn't like the monologue jokes? Are they embarrassing? No, no. John's saying that Arty thinks that? Because Arty's smart.
Starting point is 01:27:42 He wouldn't ever say that. Yeah, I don't know if he's never would. He's not that smart, but I know what you mean. Smart enough to not burn bridges. Those shits. That way, anyway. So bizarre. Okay, so now we get to the big chapter
Starting point is 01:27:55 that we're reviewing this time around. I'm a celebrity, get me out of here literally. And he talks about the offer, was there anything I miss? I'm sorry, I'm plowing through anything I miss from these Chaffers. You guys want to cover Robin Quivers. Oh right right right that one. Yeah. I see you're good. Oh, no, I'm good. All right. Sorry. Stop me if there's anything I'm missing here as I plow through. Okay. So this is John talking about the offer that he got to be on.
Starting point is 01:28:26 I'm a celebrity get me out of here, which was a reality TV show on ABC in 2003. What an opportunity. Over 100,000 for two weeks in a rainforest in Australia. How could I turn it down? See, why would you just say they're offering me a lot of money? Like, I understand why point people don't talk about money or salary. It's embarrassing He talks about a non stop non fucking stuff. This was a hundred thousand dollars This thing you drinks before I departed first class to Australia first class
Starting point is 01:29:00 Right, it's so bizarre. No one else would do that because he's a poor person living a lie. Really? Isn't that really when it comes down to like he's trying to prove that he belongs in such a way that it makes me think that he doesn't belong. If you have to say you flew first class and you were paid over $100,000 for three weeks work, I know you make good money at television. I also feel like you could look it up if you cared. There's ways to find this. No, this is private information.
Starting point is 01:29:29 These are not public records. I don't know why he's bringing it up. He shouldn't. Maybe Melissa Rivers doesn't want that information getting out. How much money they paid this? There's a lot of things that. A lot of the five volts of water doesn't want.
Starting point is 01:29:42 Yeah, get it out. I'm sure. Okay. So this right here doesn't make any sense at all. So he's going to Australia to film this TV show. He tells everyone it's going to be two weeks and one of the weeks the Howard Stern show was off. So it's only missing one week of the show. I told Gary it would be over in two weeks maybe sooner if I got voted off, but it might be more than that if I actually lasted. And I told my program director Stephen Kingston the same thing. Remember that it'll become important later on.
Starting point is 01:30:14 Okay. So why would he say it's going to be two weeks? If it might be shorter and it might be longer, then why bring up two weeks? He's lying. Yeah. He thought it was two weeks. It turned out to be three. He's lying. But I told this other guy, yeah, I told the other guy that it was gonna be maybe more than two weeks. And then he told Gary,
Starting point is 01:30:33 but Gary didn't remember that. And Gary's a liar. But famously, if you're on one of those shows where there's Vodoffs, they don't let you go home. They keep you someplace so you can't divulge what the end of it is. Oh, yeah, I didn't think about that.
Starting point is 01:30:47 Yeah, no, he's gonna have to stay there anyway. He's just gonna be in some resort somewhere but he's not gonna go home, I don't think. I'm just saying, and also this part irritated me. Remember that, it'll become important later on. I have to read your book once. Why do I have to do any more work? Why?
Starting point is 01:31:00 I already know where he's going with that. When he writes that, and then Gary said, I said it would be two weeks. You just wrote that you said it was gonna be two weeks. Why would you say it's gonna, I'm gonna repeat myself. Why would you say, I'll be gone for two weeks, although it might be less, and it might be more.
Starting point is 01:31:19 What kind of information is that? To give someone, it's a ballpark figure. This is so funny. John Spocken, Braggadocious nature, Ketsop himself. He's talking about how they wanted the producers, wanted this abrasive stunt boy jerk to be on the show. And they're all like, oh no, John's too nice if a guy really was a disappointment for everyone.
Starting point is 01:31:44 They wanted that asshole from the Howard Stern show. They didn't know I was really just a nice guy. A wise ass, sure, but ultimately a nice guy. So they have written that, I mean, I'm pulling this cause maybe you guys have them. He goes out to call out Melissa Rivers for just being famous cause of her mom and then Bruce Jennifer getting a nose job.
Starting point is 01:32:02 He's like, I'm just such a nice guy. And they say the most insulting thing to people's faces. Right after that. Yeah, show me your boobs, Melissa Rivers. Yeah. How is it living in the shadow of your mother? Oh, yeah, he asked if their boobs are real. Yeah, that's nice.
Starting point is 01:32:14 And I wish I had pulled it. He prefaced it by saying I wasn't doing the red carpet jokes. I wasn't being that guy, like you just said. But then his examples are exactly that. Yeah, minus any humor that someone would have written for him. Right. That's the funny thing is that he's trying to convey one thing, but he's so proud of himself and he has some, yeah, I'm such a great guy, but also I was a dick because it's hilarious.
Starting point is 01:32:37 Are you guys like this? That's when they realized I wasn't funny. So, so then he says this. I never complained. And the reason why he says he never complained is because he's talking about how it rained every day in the rain forest. Go figure. Shocking with rain. Wow. It was raining that rain forest. That rain season. And the funny thing is he goes, and all these celebrities are complaining. John, the name of the show is I'm a celebrity. Get me out of here.
Starting point is 01:33:11 That's what they producers want. They want to see privileged people are used to having assistance waiting on them, be camping in the fucking raid forest and freak out about it. It just goes, I don't know if these fucking people's problem is. I just got my mouth shut. The one time you should. Yeah, the one time. The one time they want.
Starting point is 01:33:29 Yeah. That's people complaining. Oh, and then he says this. I never complained, even though it rained on us every day, the only dry thing I had left was my underwear. Okay, partially dry. I do have hemorrhage, you know. Arth, alright. Now, here's the thing about this.
Starting point is 01:33:48 Arf's hemorrhage is always bleeding. Dude. Because having hemorrhage does not mean it. What the fuck with this guy? He'd be dead if it didn't stop bleeding. He'd be out. There's no way. His asshole is always bleeding. He'd be out. There's no way. His asshole is always bleeding.
Starting point is 01:34:07 That is fucking disgusting. That's him trying to be funny. Yeah, that's so great about that. That's his joke. Check this out. You guys get it, right? I hate his chocolate covered cherries joke, just for the record.
Starting point is 01:34:19 I hate him. I'm glad you remembered that, because he uses it in his stand-up. He uses it when he's interviewed. He uses it on his podcast. He... Those must be some monumental hemorrhids. Pfft. That's insane.
Starting point is 01:34:31 That's not good. It's not a good thing. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. I think the job is like I think it played. Meanwhile, everyone around is like, it's fucking complaining about him.
Starting point is 01:34:43 I think complaining about his hemorrhids. Can we get the guy with the shitty asshole I hear hey guys I don't want to be an asshole or anything but this guy's bleeding Celebrity get him out of here Judd we brought toilet paper although that's alright. I don't mind you as a twig Fucking girl all right, so then because this is what Sennary John does He throws people out of the fucking boss. Not sat. He apparently Bruce Jenner is a racist. I know that when Bruce and I were given some wine, he made a racist comment about Tyson Beckford. If the Tyson wind about taking out the garbage or something, Bruce was like, well, you know how those people are. Chris
Starting point is 01:35:42 Jenner was home watching the live feed and she was like, Holy shit, Bruce! Shut the fuck up, we're gonna lose half of our friends. So she called and they didn't air it. Do, do, do, do, uh. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Say, I know, this John had a few incidents of being racist themselves and the band he's calling up, Bruce Jenner, for this and saying, like, it was so bad
Starting point is 01:36:04 that they didn't even air that television So I wrote it in my book, right? So I wanted to make it everyone aware of what had gone down And he's a Republican. Well, yeah, he does not like that. That's for sure. He talks about that a little bit too God it guy makes a fucking comment and you got to write about what it is. Okay, so then John is talking about how he's on this TV show and he's hoping this is a springboard to get him as a guest spot on the tonight show. I would pray while lying on the cot that Jay Lennon would be goofing on the show and that one day I could be a guest on his show. That was my dream. Bullhmm. That was his dream was to get out into Jay Leno's tonight show.
Starting point is 01:36:47 Well, he's had several dreams in this book. Yes. So it's funny because all of his dreams are things that he ended up doing later. Like even boxing. He's like, I wanted to be a boxer someday. And here I am boxing. I wanted to fail at podcasting. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:37:00 Here we are. Yeah, it's a little bit too convenient. All of his dreams are things that he actually did to be like, if I had a dream, I wanna have a six with nice tits reading my podcast reviews someday. Oh, then it came true, I can't believe it. Lucky me. I hope she barely shows up.
Starting point is 01:37:19 I won again. All right, so of course, howard is mad at John because he was supposed to be gone one week while they were on the air and he was gone for two weeks while they were on the air. Personally, I think Howard was madder that I came across as a nice guy and that's somewhere deep down. He wished people would see him in that way. That is rich right there. The projecting is insane.
Starting point is 01:37:45 He thinks that Howard's jealous of him. Howard just wanted to be just like me. That was the, that's why he was really upset with me. He wanted to bleed out in the rain for it. On his ass. I was being nice. That would piss anybody off. What a douchebag.
Starting point is 01:38:02 Only the judge was like, well, my Q-Rinning was hired. Howard couldn't take it, so. He had to yell at me on the air. Okay. Why are his hemorrhoids such a sore throat? I can't get past it. Okay, I'm sorry. It's so gross.
Starting point is 01:38:17 Yeah, it's not good. It's not a good thing. I think it went Tommy from MSCS. It was making fun of John's underwear, because you can see what kind of underwear he's wearing. He's like, good thing. I think it went timey from MSCS, was making fun of John's underwear because you can see what kind of underwear he's wearing. He's like, dude, why do you get some nice underwear? What do you do? He's like, oh, dude, all I do is shit bleed
Starting point is 01:38:32 on my underpants. So we've been carried like, oh my god. The weirder's kindness. I had a tampon, you know. Woo. All right, so now we're gonna fast forward to John saying, he went on this tonight show, had an amazing appearance,
Starting point is 01:38:53 so witty, so funny, everyone loved him. And he can't just say, like, I did a good job, I was happy about it, he has to say, and Don Buckwellwal that fucking asshole Wouldn't even book me on Letterman when I'd asked him to book me on there and I showed him I'm an awesome guest on talk shows. I remember when I asked Don Bukkwal to book me on Letterman And he asked me what I was gonna do. What am I gonna do Don? Kill it. That's what I'm gonna do you ball motherfucker I would have loved to see a stupid face when I became the announcer on the tonight show.
Starting point is 01:39:26 I was so proud of myself. Hey, I'm a gentleman. John, you would not be a good guest on Letterman. This is the thing. When Don Buckwald goes, what are you promoting? Why would you be on Letterman? You're not a celebrity. What do you mean? You got to be on letterman? Howard goes out of the letterman. Not the stunt boy from the Howard's third show. And Dimes write about that. So obviously John got some notoriety from being on this reality show.
Starting point is 01:39:51 The Hanuman, I guess he got third place and I'm a celebrity to get me out of here. So the Hanuman this tonight show. He didn't embarrass himself somehow, which is shocking, but I mean that's what Lendel's job is to make a celebrity don't embarrass themselves. He has some interesting stuff. He's like, himself somehow, which is shocking, but I mean, that's what Leno's job is to make us a celebrity. He's don't embarrass themselves. He has some idiots on that show. And Jay Leno and David Letterman's
Starting point is 01:40:13 jobs is to make them seem interesting. And so that's what Leno was doing for John. And John's only thought was, and my agent's a fucking asshole, because I should have been doing the talk show circuit all along obviously not the takeaway I would have had from having a good appearance but that's John for us so then he's also bald. Yeah fuck me as a calm. Done fuck walled or whatever. And say bald brimes with fuck walled.
Starting point is 01:40:41 Yeah. What would you rather have a bleeding asshole or hair on your hand? Cause I can answer that one. Jesus Christ. If you're me, you have both. All right. So I don't think I post that question, Christ. I don't think I post that.
Starting point is 01:41:01 That one will not become a game show. Thank God. He's podcast. Cardiff, don't do it. Don't do that one, Cardiff. That one's not gonna work. So then, he does this tonight show, and I guess Gary Delabate was in outlay at that time, and they want to watch John's appearance on this night show, but he says his hotel room doesn't get NBC.
Starting point is 01:41:23 What? I didn't know that. You're in Los Angeles, and your hotel room doesn't get NBC. What? You're in Los Angeles. And your hotel room doesn't get NBC? It gets CBS and ABC, not NBC. What? That's so stupid. So then they have to go to a bar to watch this.
Starting point is 01:41:38 We ended up driving all over town to find the place and landed at a bar where I got the bartender to tune the television to NBC. And we watched show there but we can only read the subtitles because they couldn't put the volume on. Do you hear how excited he is? It's really weird. It's literally the King of Comedy. Do you remember what happens at the King of Comedy?
Starting point is 01:41:57 He goes to the bars and says turn on the TV. I was out of the show and makes her watch if we're getting arrested. This is fucking John's life. Mom, take it easy. Lower it. I'm not going to have. You get it. I get it. But I just thought that was insane because I can only imagine how annoyed everyone that established it must have been with this asshole walking and going, turn the TV's to NBC. I'm on the TV. I know it's probably during the World Series or something. Right, yeah. Everyone's like fucking watching something. And he has to turn on his stupid appearance on a talk show in a bar.
Starting point is 01:42:30 And that's something you want to watch when you're in a bar. And also, I can't point this out enough. Los Angeles is lousy with celebrities. So when you walk into a bar, you're like, I was on this night show. Like, yeah, five people in the last week were also on the tonight show, Gary, we got it. It's not that impressive. So fucking proud of himself.
Starting point is 01:42:51 So for all the wrong reasons. Yeah. What was that story about? Why don't they have NBC in the hotel? Why do you have to drive all around town to find a bar? And also Gary was gonna hang out in his hotel room to watch John on the tonight show. Yeah. Fuck Gary, I'm like, ah, no know I got my DVR at home. I'll check it
Starting point is 01:43:08 out. Yeah, but I just can't get enough of John. I got a lot of John. He says he killed it. I got to see it. We get along so well. All right. So then John gets offered a job in the tonight show as a correspondent and how well he doesn't have to Howard. he's actually Gary. And Gary del Batte says, there's no way Howard will not let you take that job. I couldn't believe I was turning down a TV gig on the tonight show for a guy that called me a loser on a regular basis. Yeah, it sounds like something a loser would do. Maybe Howard was out of something. It sounds like you maybe you are a loser.
Starting point is 01:43:46 And that's why that happened that way. Get confident, stupid. All right, so then, oh, John, doesn't complain, as we know. But now he's going to complain about his wife, Susanna. Back at home, Susanna agreed to give me one more kid. After all, I'm Puerto Rican. I want a 10. Susanna was Jewish and she said you would have three at the most.
Starting point is 01:44:13 This is what's odd about a Stuttering John. He brings up that he's Puerto Rican and says people are racist against him. He's the only one who talks about Puerto Rican stereotypes. I've never heard anyone else reference anything Puerto Rican about Stuttering John except for anyone else reference anything Puerto Rican about settling John except for settling John. That's a good point.
Starting point is 01:44:28 It's always negative too. It's always negative stereotypes about Puerto Rican. It's not like he's like, well I get my work ethic from my Puerto Rican side of my hair and it's always just like, well you know we're pieces of shit, we're looser, we can fight a lot. We want to have a ton of kids. And as a side note, this is more evidence that he's betting 10 to win three Good fight
Starting point is 01:44:51 All right, so this is the last thing I have From this chapter which starts with I'm so I'm gonna get me out of here in this night show and then somehow ends with Susanne are getting pregnant and this story of what I call the luckiest person ever. When I got to NYU with tears in my eyes, we checked with a doctor and as he did the sonogram, we saw the dead lifeless baby in her womb. Wow, Dodge Day bullets. Great.
Starting point is 01:45:19 Good job, kiddo. It's so sad, but I thought the same thing. Is that what you thought, kid? I did, I was like, oh, that lucky kid. Yeah, seriously. Maybe they'll be. That's really mean, but I does what I thought. Maybe they'll be born in India or something much better than being centering John's kid. Hopefully. Well, he went on this whole long rant about how I wanted a boy. Yeah, it was a girl. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:45:45 It was already disappointed in this kid. The kid wasn't even born yet. Yeah. It died of disappointment. It heard you, John. All right. So now we're going to talk about the audition tapes. Now, the very famous audition tapes,
Starting point is 01:45:59 the John recorded with Scott Salem, Scott the engineer at the Howard Stern show. Off hours didn't want anyone to know about it, but he needed to send in his audition tapes to get the announcer gig. And so he doesn't pronounce names correctly. And he does it in his book rather famously. He does it in his book. And I can't figure out for the life of me why he would put the
Starting point is 01:46:26 n-word in his book unless he's just reading it wrong again. I did like 10 different versions, always checking the door with all different celebrities hence the Nicholas Cage and Genofa Aniston which would later become popular thanks to Scott the engineer. Yes he betrayed me. I asked him to erase the tapes but he didn't. He put them in the computer's trash bin, but then retrieved them when I left. Ha ha! So he's trying to throw him under the bus, yeah, and still outing himself as a retard.
Starting point is 01:46:54 Yes. I have a question. Why on earth would you do that where you work? Go someplace else and pay somebody else's to do it. He's an idiot. Yeah, well, always ever done is torment Scott Salem? I don't think he's welcome at tons of studios. Yeah, not anymore. Yeah. So yeah, always ever done is torment.
Starting point is 01:47:12 Scott Salem and then when Scott betrays him, he's like, Jesus, what a jerk. He says, he says, be trays. Yeah. Yeah. He does. Yeah, I'm gonna be tray. Yeah, everyone's betraying him. Yeah. Niggaless cage. Yes, he does. Yeah, I'll be a betray everyone's betraying him. Yeah, Nicholas Cade. Yeah, that's it was that's it was book. I know he pronounced it wrong when he was recording this for his audition, but why do they do it in his book? Can you not help himself? I wouldn't rehash that. I just wouldn't. Yeah. So he also said Jennifer Aniston. He never it wasn't Jennifer Anson was Pamela Anderson. That's right. I think it was He said Well, I went ahead and I found the audio from when they were goofy got job Yeah, it's got brought the tapes to them. This is how it starts you guys asked for it the other day This is stuttering John. Yeah, when John got so mad at Scott for giving us this tape. Scott getting one last
Starting point is 01:48:06 You know, he took so much shit from John. John was like, yeah, that's not perfect and Scott goes I'm dare you all the pranks you played on me. He made Scott's life miserable Yeah, this is what's so funny about John now being buddy with Scott Salem It's got hated John. He was a dick. Everyone hated John on that show. That grillo for some reason still puts up with them, but everyone hated John on the show. So of course, he got a chance to fuck with them and he did. And this is the audio that they were playing
Starting point is 01:48:41 with John mispronouncing names. Now this one's even more over the top from the NBC studios in barbank it's a tonight show with jay Leno featuring Kevin U-Banks and the tonight show band and me I'm stuttering john tonight jay welcomes Pamela Anderson Harrison Ford the music of the one is john thinking that Pamela Anderson goes before Harris
Starting point is 01:49:12 All right, and Simon Garfun goes third All right, Garfunkel and Simon so Carfunkle and Simon. So, John's audition tapes were not good in any city, in any single way. And Gary comes in and explains how John used to fuck with Scott all the time. So this is his comeuppance. I got it. He used to torment Scott, used to tape his phone down, put 20 dollar bills on fishing wire.
Starting point is 01:49:41 I mean, he never missed a minute to fuck with Scott. Right. So Scott got his revenge. We thank you, Scott. We do thank you for that. One of the greatest things that he ever did. So, they're listening to these tapes and they're, I mean, I have more of it. This is insane. From the NBC studio. From the NBC studios in Burbank. It's a tonight show with Jay Leno featuring Kevin U-Banks in the tonight show band and me I'm Stuttering John tonight Jay welcomes Nicholas Kaye and comedian Greg Ger Loki and now your ears bleed
Starting point is 01:50:28 Pamela Anderson Jesus Christ the girl who cries blood Nicholas cage he said that's a racist Nicholas Cage which one did he send them? Dean Did he spend a lot of money? Or did he just send them one of them? Oh no. Oh, the Dean Poons. Is that guy on that team? I mean, to hear how he is, Niggalist Cage. Oh my God, what's wrong with that? So the best comment that Howard makes during this whole thing
Starting point is 01:50:58 because this is after John got the job. As a snitch, he went out to another, and listening to his audition tape, they go, what the fuck? Yeah, and then I guess at the tonight show they heard this and thought this would be good Because I want to be that guy I mean the guy heard this I thought this was good and the John writes in his book We edited the best tapes and I sent them along to the tonight show. They loved it No, they didn't I thought they're gonna say they laughed their ass
Starting point is 01:51:28 loved it. No, they didn't. I thought they could say they left their ass. This guy wants to be the announcer. He just used the ad word playing again. Flickrous kids. We can't say that. I'd be seeing you idiots. Holy shit. It's so funny. I mean, this is just more proof. This is a revenge book. The hired John as a revenge book. To Howard started, nothing to do with his talent at all. So then John describes, he had to go out to L.A. to have a meeting with Jay Lano and the crew and get to know him. In the way he described it, it's almost like
Starting point is 01:52:00 Jay wanted to see if he could pale around with John. Which is a odd thing. Well, I'll, show business. What do I know? What do I know? So apparently they went out to dinner. They went out for ice cream. Oh, that was weird.
Starting point is 01:52:13 We went out for ice cream after dinner and then went back to his house and watched TV. We watched the iron chef. We goofed and joked about it while Jay smoked the pipe. Shit, I didn't know he smoked. I was like, well, if he's smoking, can I light up a sig? I asked Joe and he said, no. The night was perfect. Then we started tickling each other.
Starting point is 01:52:32 What the fuck was the point of that, I think, though? Jay left a pipe, so I'm like, hey, can I have a sig? No, no, no, no, you may not. I have a sig. Well, no, no, no, no, you may not. I am a sig. Well, then can we have a pillow fight? Yeah. And then we stayed up all nights.
Starting point is 01:52:54 We told ghost stories. So apparently they got a log and he got the job. So that's kind of the end. All right. So there's this time in John's life. He sent him the audition tape. He's met Jay Leno and he still has him in hired. There's a guy over at NBC and he doesn't like John.
Starting point is 01:53:18 He's a big Howard Cernfani. He's heard, this is the funny part, dude. Johnny B. explains he goes, there's one guy who, you know, apparently has a lot of say over there. One of the executives and he's heard, this is the funny part, dude, Johnny B. explains he goes, there's one guy who apparently has a lot of say over there, one of the executives, and he goes, and this guy's a big stern fan, he did not want to hire me. Isn't that funny? It's a one guy who's actually heard your real talents.
Starting point is 01:53:36 Thanks, this is a bad idea. Hmm, I wonder, I wonder why. So, John's going through this time in his life where he's hoping he's gonna get this job, he's not hearing anything, and weeks are going by, he's not sure what to do, so then he decides, you know what, I'll see if Jesus can help me out with this one.
Starting point is 01:53:54 Oh God. I took to the streets of the village of my Berkingstocks looking for a church. I wanted to pray, heck, God had listened to me, I knew him was the case is in the past, why not now? It was dusk and beginning to get dark and I couldn't find an open church. Okay. First off, you have the hack. Yeah. Thank you. Hack. Well, he's talking about God. So right. Well, good point. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:54:16 And Jesus fucking right there's a church. I guess hack is more appropriate. Yeah. Now Kirby, if I'm wrong, I'm not a deeply religious man by any means. Do you need to be in a church to pray? No. I'm pretty sure God hears everything. I can't get better reception. You can get better reception, yeah. You know, if you're on the streets, I got a 3G.
Starting point is 01:54:39 If you go into a church, then you're at a 4G. So this is more story padding, like driving around town, looking for a fucking TV with NBC. Yeah. Walking around looking for a church that's open, pounding on the doors. Yeah, he's pounding on doors and shit, looking for a church,
Starting point is 01:54:55 because he's like, I desperately had a prey to get this job. Mm. Well, then just pray. Just pray and don't write about it in your book, because that's how I get stories. Well, it was weird too, because he said, I put out my Berkhan stocks. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 01:55:08 Yeah, I know. I don't want to think about John's bare feet ever. I'm so good. I'm so good. Don't bring it up if you're fucking buck. As it turned out, Jesus fell for it. Ha ha ha ha ha. What an idiot.
Starting point is 01:55:22 Ha ha ha ha ha. HG double hockey sticks. All right, so now John gets the job and he can't wait to tell Tom Chiosano, Chi Pasato, the guy who doesn't want to give John any money and he reminds us of this story. Keep in mind that Tom was a guy who while he had cancer and so they're very good chance of dying of it told me if I had asked him for a raise after 10 years on the job, John, I'll die of cancer before I give you 50 grand a year. This was a guy that in lieu of a raise gave me and my family health insurance, but then
Starting point is 01:56:01 a few months later the company's health insurance policy changed, and he took it away from me. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Oh my god! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 01:56:20 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no So hilarious. Oh my God. Yoink. So obviously, John was excited to let him know that he was going to be leaving because back when he was trying to negotiate a higher salary, the PD was not having it. I recalled being in Tom's office once and asking for a raise. The program director said, look, John, nobody else wants you. Well, I guess he was wrong. Well, he was wrong once, but now
Starting point is 01:56:50 nobody wants you again. So he's right. So so now, he's right again. He was temporarily wrong. Yeah. If he knew the teacher shortage in California, he would have known that because of an emergency, somebody would want me. Boom. Boom. Let's let's remember what John does as a teacher. Good stuff. Very impressive. Guys, I'm fine. Dude, that's one of my missing. What am I missing anything here?
Starting point is 01:57:20 No, we doubled up on clips as usual. Okay. I know it's tough unless you wanted to touch on the made Manhattan thing. Sure. It's seven. All right. Little did I know that Debbie was about to make me an offer I couldn't refuse. I met with her in her office and we hit it off immediately. By the way, make you an offer you can't refuse.
Starting point is 01:57:39 It's never a good thing. No, that's when someone's going to kill you. Yeah, or something. She made me an offer I could refuse. It was a lot of money for a great job. No, that's when someone's going to kill you. Yeah. Or ultimatum. Yeah. She made me an offer I could refuse. It was a lot of money for a great job. So that's called a good offer. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:57:53 She made me an offer that we both agreed on. Yeah. I couldn't refuse. Little did I know that Debbie was about to make me an offer I couldn't refuse. I met with her in her office and we hit it off immediately. She told me that the one time she listened to Stern, she heard me saying I cried over a scene and Jennifer Lopez has made him and hadn't. She said she cried over that scene too and immediately we were kindred spirits.
Starting point is 01:58:16 What a beautiful and amazing woman. I just pulled it because it was so weird. Because you both cried at the same part of a shitty, shitty movie. And I am very sensitive. So, I'll translate this. Okay, thank you. What was going on? Because I've had the walk-shoot of interviewing a lot of people for jobs and things like that.
Starting point is 01:58:39 What people will do is they'll try to find information about you. Maybe they'll read a blog post or you wrote, I've actually had people come to me and say, girl, you know, I read your blog, and I really agree with, buh buh buh buh buh buh buh. So what this woman was doing is trying to establish something, like, hey, I listened to Howard Stern's show, and you said this, whatever he would have said that time,
Starting point is 01:58:56 that she was listening to Howard Stern's show, she was like, yeah, me too, you know? I also have hemorrhoids to bleed on my ass. Whatever it is that he can't be talking about, she would have said that, but John takes it as, and she's amazing because we both agree on everything. She's a kindred spilling. She didn't kick me out of the office.
Starting point is 01:59:17 Good job, John. Very proud of you. All right, so now we're just two chapters away from the Robin chapter and we go back to talking about the conversation with Robert again. Oh, yeah, the exact same story comes back again. You're doing the right thing. Howard doesn't pay anybody here.
Starting point is 01:59:35 I always tell him to look over his shoulder because more and more people are going to leave. I've been also thinking about doing my own thing and you're doing the right thing for you and your family. I felt so much better. Cut to Monday morning when she says, Howard, I can't believe he's leaving. That's how she talks. That's how she talks. Do you have a good impression?
Starting point is 01:59:52 That Robert impression is the most racist thing in this book. I didn't want to say it, but that is how I felt. Jesus Christ. So then Rob has stopped cooking grits and said, Howard, she put the watermelon down at the end. Like what? So the rams and like, what the fuck? So what ramen sounds like at all? Yeah. Oh, shit. Maybe you should have gotten someone else to
Starting point is 02:00:19 read this. You got to do for it still needs that. Or write it. You got the board still needs that. I'll write it. All right, so John now is gonna talk about the salary that he received from the tonight show. I think my first year at the tonight show, I made 250,000, but I wanted to leave
Starting point is 02:00:38 the Howard Stern Show so badly that I would have taken half. Shit, I probably would have taken 50,000. Shit. Ha ha ha ha ha. Shit. Heck. All right. John has said, multiple times in multiple places,
Starting point is 02:00:55 it was $500,000 a year for the tonight show. Now he's writing in his book, it was 250. And he says, I'm not even sure. I think it was 250. If you got a salary increase from 85,000 to 250, or 400, or 500, you would remember that. Yes. You would know that number and he's like,
Starting point is 02:01:14 ah, I don't know, 250, 500. Yeah, it was raining money. I couldn't see him. He also bought a very expensive mansion when he moved out way. So there I was the overpaying, and I guarantee it was more than 250. I don't know why now he's trying to pretend like, yeah, I think it was like 250 years up and like that.
Starting point is 02:01:33 He has had so many times, it was 500,000. I don't know what to believe anymore. Start to think that John's a liar. He doesn't like the lie. He doesn't like the lie. He doesn't like the lie, but he does lie. That was the one day my OCD wasn't kicking it. That was I was able to lie that day. So then John talks about how jealous everybody was on the Stern show. You know, he speculates the Gary wanted to leave and Fred wanted to leave and Rob and wanted to leave and he was the one who who got out
Starting point is 02:02:02 of there. Later on, my voice coach, Marisa Tobias, who I got to help me with the announcing gig, told me something I will never forget. She said that when you put a bunch of crabs in a bucket, eventually one of them will try and get out. The other ones then grab the fleeing crab and pull it back in. How does that equate?
Starting point is 02:02:20 No, we, I have crabs. First of all, Chad, everybody knows that concept. And we're're not just like well, what is the answer to with anything? Yeah, it's again. No, we know we got it. We're we're way ahead of you here This isn't a difficult concept that you've introduced to us. So wait, what are you trying to say about Fred and Gary? No, no, no, there's a parallel Now let me explain why I brought this up Gonna blow your mind. I have just one more clip on here. This is the very end of the chapter that we closed out with.
Starting point is 02:02:56 I know what it is. Of course you know what it is. John, John had one more conversation with Howard Stern. Well, they threw it going going away party for him, that Howard did not attend. And he had one more conversation. He forgot. I called Howard to see if it was really mad at me.
Starting point is 02:03:15 It was the most honest and humble Howard I had ever spoken to. He said something like, John, I'm not mad at you. And you know what? Maybe I should have had you in the studio full-time. Maybe I should have put you in the Jackie chair. And maybe things would have been different. Truth is, they would have been. But in hindsight, I'm glad I left when I did having heard what the show has become. Oh, dude, in hindsight, how would you have left when you did? I like the Jon's trying to be like, and I'm too good for that show now. Anyway, we've seen what you've done.
Starting point is 02:03:45 There's no way any radio show would hire you now. He said something like, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, something like is what I picked up on. Yeah, that did not go down like that at all. Well, he said something like, I should have put you in the jacket chair. Yeah, or I dumpster. Or an electric chair.
Starting point is 02:04:01 No, what he said there was a Howard said, things would have been different if he had put him in in the studio and Yes, it would have been worse for the Howard search different very different Different. Yeah, worse is different Didn't speculate and I love that that as soon as Howard saying something nice to him And this is what you do when somebody leaves your company or leaves your show You're gonna say hey, I'm rooting for you. Thanks for all the years. Good luck going forward.
Starting point is 02:04:28 It's just the point thing to say. You don't go to bed. Yeah, you know, say don't the door slap you on the ass. You say, All right, I'm happy for you. Good luck. I hope things go well. We'll see you again someday. And John goes, that was the most honest how it's ever been. Because he finally said that I'm amazing. Even though for all those years he told me I sucked, and I should have bought my kid, and I'll lose her, and not funny, and I'm not just, those are all the wise he told. But then finally one day, he decided to be honest with me.
Starting point is 02:04:56 Finally. John, I think that was the time that he wasn't being honest with you. I was gonna throw it out there. Producer Cress, what did I miss, buddy? What else you got on the board over there? We doubled up on everything as usual. I thought I pulled a clip where he was explaining
Starting point is 02:05:11 with his voice coach there that I'm not gonna stutter. My OCD couldn't let me, and I don't know what happened to that clip, but he was explaining in detail how that's an impossibility. Yeah, he says they were concerned he was gonna stutter as the announcer, which I'm thinking, isn't that the whole point? Why would you hire a stutter?
Starting point is 02:05:29 He'd jad to be the announcer. We don't want to stutter. That's the funny part. He says it couldn't happen because my vocal cords are engaged and my lips are moving, so how can I possibly stutter? Yeah. That's pretty close to what he says. Yeah, he says it's similar to when I'm singing.
Starting point is 02:05:42 I don't stutter when I'm singing, so I don't stutter when I'm announcing. So I don't stutter when I'm announcing. Yeah, I'm just pretending you're announcing. I'm not saying it's talking. Yeah, I know, just pretend you're always announcing. Well, he's also an actor. All right. So pretend.
Starting point is 02:05:52 I think that's what they want. But again, I wouldn't stutter. I wouldn't stutter. His stutter was always a bit. And he puts it on when he wants to get laughs. I don't want to accuse him of being like one of these trutz girls on TikTok, but don't lump them into your mouth. I know really.
Starting point is 02:06:10 I mean, we've been thinking about those girls. That's the appeal, I see. But honestly, I'm believing more and more that I think John did center when he was nervous. I think a lot of people do. I think you get tongue tied and stuff when you're in a situation like that. So that's why he would stutter when he was interviewing celebrities or came into the studio from time to time. But I don't think that John's like a stutterer.
Starting point is 02:06:36 No. You know what I mean? It's obvious he's not. If he's like, I know you stutter, but for $500,000 would you be the announcer tonight show? Oh yeah, the stutter's gone. I can't do that. I'm good. He's suddenly as a British accent.
Starting point is 02:06:47 Yeah. Yeah, all the time. I won't be stuttering it. Oh. Pip, pip. Oh my God, that's funny. I was, when Chad was doing his kumiya's cocksep episode about me, he was looking for anything to goof on.
Starting point is 02:07:01 And he found a deep fake video. Okay. She's like, okay, let's watch this. And it's the one where you're like doing the Southern Jennifer, and then it ends and you're like, all right, I can't drink this shit anymore. Oh yeah, so it brings you a wine. Yes, yes, very good, thank you.
Starting point is 02:07:18 I still haven't seen that one. I remember doing it, that was great. And, and Che goes, all right, that was all right. I'm like, what's he gonna say about this? All right, that's not bad. That's pretty funny. Jesus. Guys, that's all I have for us today. Really?
Starting point is 02:07:35 That's all I got. Right now, there's no second segment. It's just, you feel like you feel gyped or something. Pretty secret, it's like so buggedipped or something Pretty secrets like so bomb now sad Should we spend a record 45 clips All right Okay, I Don't lie. I don't like to lie Oh, alright. Okay. I don't like, I don't like to lie.
Starting point is 02:08:10 That's me laughing at you fucking losers. Wack. Is this guy a freaking moron or what? Foon. Is John the stupidest guy in the world? Ha ha ha ha! Hey, I'm a gentleman! Ha ha ha ha! Alright.
Starting point is 02:08:30 Alright, I think we've done it all today. I want to thank everyone who supports us on Patreon and Supercast. Maybe we'll do Backed By soon as well. People want us to go on Backed backed by which is Dick Masterson's new platform. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Okay, folks, guess what? The episode's over! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Oh, hello.

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