Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep426 - The Blondecast
Episode Date: July 9, 2023The Blondecast is a show hosted by comedians who both have blond hair. Now I thought that the show would not be about having blond hair, but boy was I wrong. These two idiots talk about dying their ha...ir and other people who have blond hair. I’ve seen a lot of formats over the years, this is the dumbest. Strap in because Tookie (who’s a puppet in El Horrible’s lap) makes his debut and he does not disappoint. We cover everything that’s going on and there’s a lot. Stuttering John’s first episode of his new show Hypocrisy Police, Chad Zumock has a good day, more Patty Pukewater songs, Free Water After Dark complains about me again, Opie has the Zman on and he doxxes Tookie, Cardiff plays “Who Said It” with Opie, and we try to catch an alien. This was one of my favorite episodes in a long time. http://bedabblinlive.com/ Tickets to the Magic Bag on 9/15 – http://watplive.com/ Support us, get bonus episodes, Vic and Hannah pics, and watch live every Saturday and most Wednesdays: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I
Can't even keep track. I honestly can't keep track of what happened. It's so much of a shit show
Epishoed
Bar 20 see are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. What a dick. You know what I miss penis. What are you talking about?
I'm the one who should apologize cuz
Cuz a row cuz a row slap a runie
It's show time.
[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
W-A-T-P-W-Y-T-P!
[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
Hello, boys and girls, and welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts.
The only show that's given birth to potatoes and puppets.
I'm your host, Kara, with me today.
This is either going to be a great episode of the end of my career.
From Tookie Loves, Month Sharks, Loving Misery.
It's Tookie, everyone.
What's happening, Tookie?
Wow, thank you, Carl.
Yes, I hope I don't have a half your audience abandon you
or even more, but I hope everyone does love Tookie
after the end of this.
Yeah, why you throw it up?
I'm numbers like that.
I'm gonna have to go here.
Yeah, I was thinking maybe 5%.
I didn't realize half the audience was gonna leave.
He's polarizing.
Definitely be half of it.
Or more.
Okay, good.
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Also, we encourage our listeners, give us a five star review and have a podcast and shit all over in the comments section today.
We'll be reviewing a show called the blonde cast.
We'll be reviewing a show called the blonde cast. Now, Tuky's gonna help me because this was a suggestion
from someone in our discord.
We have a review suggestion channel in there
that I check from time to time.
And Tuky, can you tell me who was the person who requested this?
Uh, uh, shit.
Blah, blah.
I don't have it in front of me.
I gave you one assignment.
Well, I gave you a lot of assignments, actually.
But I asked you to pronounce this name because it's not written in English or even with letters
from the alphabet.
It's not even a...
So I'm like, Tookie, can you do this?
He's like, yeah, no problem.
I got this one.
And now it seems like this is our first fail of the day.
Tookie fucked up.
Well, anyway, thank you for whoever this person is.
I zone on the Carl Occion or whatever it is
from the Discord.
Well that was fantastic.
Yeah, I nailed it.
We have both listened separately.
We've not discussed it with each other before.
And let's get things started.
This is a show hosted by Haley and Casper
and the description is the world
seen through two millennial bottle blonde standup comedians living in Las Vegas
from other places one is a parent and the other apparently sells insurance.
What?
What is a parent?
The other one apparently sells insurance.
I thought you said you were both comedians.
They're the words.
Bad start. The other one apparently sells it to share it. I thought you said you were both comedians. They're the words to this, I guess. Wow.
Bad start.
Ropto, a bad start here.
That's okay.
It's okay.
Maybe they can win us over here.
Let's start with the cold opening.
Now, I find the cold opening to be enraging
because it really is just nothing but confusing.
There's nothing really that gets you,
what did you, what did you,
what did you do to get your attention?
Get you excited about to show you about to watch
Okay, here's some of the highlights of what you're about to see on the show
Here also is a like bottle pink Spottled blues bottle purple. They got to be mother lovers mother lovers
We can't curse on this
But Paris Hilton. Oh, yeah, welcome back to the podcast. Hello. The fuck just happened. It's going on here. Oh, they are
Noxious
Literally what are the clips in there was just the woman going Paris Hilton. They got to go. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what's that?
What does that mean? Why would I want to watch any more of this?
Well, it's my assignment this week. That's why
Otherwise, I would not have
Now, too, I'm gonna get things started on and I'll let you, I know you have some clips on here too.
But this episode I watched,
I was like, there, I mean,
they're only about like eight or nine episodes in at this point,
but this one was all about,
well, being blonde,
because it's the blonde cast.
Not to be confused with the black cast,
this is the blonde cast.
And apparently, they like to talk about blonde hair a lot.
That's like their stick.
Jack, I can't imagine anyone be interested in this at all.
I can't believe they still are.
But it starts off with the conversation around
dying your hair blonde as opposed to being a natural blonde.
All right, this is, I know.
You're very excited to come down.
I'm actually thinking of a couple of broads
in my life that would listen to this.
Okay, very powerful.
Yeah, well good point. Couple of broads. He's a charmer. He's the people. I'm actually thinking of a couple of bras in my life that wood listen to this. Okay
Couple of bras these are chargers. They people a bra that used to be in my life
It's actually insult to cause someone a bottle blonde a bottle blonde. Oh
Yeah, it's like why is it an insult? Because like so blonde hair is supposed to be superior, right?
As we've seen in history before many many people die their hair blonde
Yeah, you call someone a bottle blonde. It's essentially like calling them like an imposter and just like
Yeah
Many many people in history considered blonde to be superior. You mean Hitler
Who are we talking about? I've never heard this before the blogs are superior
Bottle blonde is the end word of the Caucasian community
Yeah, I can use that word. I could use it you can't do key
Yes, and he also looks like Joe exotic If Joe exotic had no interest in tigers or
women. One of those is true. I don't know if you realize that. Oh, I never really watched that
shit. Okay. He was a a method who had a bunch of boyfriends who weren't really gay, but they wanted math. So he would give that math in exchange for blow jobs.
It's the classic logo.
Oh, fantastic.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, so now that we've let everyone know that bottle blonde is an insult, let's get Casper's
take on this.
I want to know what he thinks about it.
It is.
The people down there here also is a bottle pink, bottled blues, bottled purples
because you know people die their hair that color all the time.
No, and you're right, but no bottle blonde isn't in so and that's why I'm rolling with
it like yeah, we're too bottled because I like it.
That's the dumbest response ever.
Are there bottle blue, bottle purple?
No, those aren't natural hair colors, do I mean, those are all right, die jobs.
Idiots. Also, it's already sounds like shit
They both have to scream into their own yet. You can't there be one in the middle of the table. There could just be one on this one
I know it's not great
All right, so
Let's talk about bleaching your hair. Okay. Let's let's get into it
What are we gonna put a foot around for the rower? Let's get into it. Yeah, I mean, what are we gonna push the foot around for the row?
Let's talk about it.
My hair differs every single day,
so you never know what you're gonna do.
I don't think I'm ever gonna change the blonde.
I like the blonde.
Like the blonde.
Yeah.
That was my problem is I went, I went platinum blonde.
That was my problem.
I messed my crap up.
So my hair's on the repair right now.
Like I have like a bunch of like really,
really broken pictures of hair because I went blonde.
And I loved it
though that's so good it's rough on the hair though like it
really is I can feel it like getting like
do you do yourself yeah I do it myself it's really easy for a guy
because I just poured in there and just do this he looks like
shit yeah like did you get yourself he's like yeah no yeah I
can tell that's not the brag you think it is sir. Yeah, it looks terrible like a drowned blonde rat. Did he also cut his hair himself
Without a mirror it looks like it
Did he give himself that hip hop tattoo? It's pretty sweet, isn't it?
That's a cool tattoo
Tookie would know Tookie knows what cool tattoos are for sure.
So this guy's talking about how he bleaches his own hair
and he's so fucking proud of himself.
It's ridiculous.
Yeah, did I break some type of code or what?
I didn't break a code.
It's just like if you went to any hair stylist ever,
like they would probably burst into flames
if you told them what you were doing to your hair.
Yeah, I just go by like a bleach mix at CVS and or Walgreens or Walmart and just put it
in the hair and this is this is what you get
That's what I would assume yeah, that's all I take to see that's what you would get
If that's your best stud. All right, Tookie, what did you pick up on from this podcast?
Oh, these are two very retarded people.
That bit literally just say words to say words.
Yeah, there's nothing here in the numbers do not lie.
My first clip was the chick doing her best toki impression.
Oh, all right, that's cool.
Into the unknown is a song from Frozen 2.
I know, by panic at the disco.
Yeah, well they do with the new cover.
Yes, they do.
They wrote the song.
Oh, they wrote the song.
But like the Menzel, Dina Menzel,
like her version of it, like I will sing that with the kids.
Oh, okay. And like my daughter doesn't even really say words yet
Yeah, I feel like act out the mannerisms and stuff
That's the one way and this that's one of them
Say at least you have to you could do that unbashfully because your kids aren't gonna judge you for singing in a shower
I have a roommate. Oh
Wow
Ruben whoa
And I
Ruben whoa
That is shocking you have a roommate in your almost 40
I was thinking whoa just kids yeah
Those poor kids yes, well, yes, she is the parent she is a single mother
But I thought these guys might have had some longevity and comedy, you know, they do seem a little older, like you said, they are millennials. But in my second clip,
you find out just how long they've been on the comedy scene.
He's like heckles from the back from what I've heard and like, like, yeah, like he's just
always talking during people's sats, he runs the runs the light and like at the end of the day regardless of how famous you are you've been doing comedy for a year just like me
yeah so first time to try to be on the same level comedy wise he just sells more tickets
right because he's ti but it wasn't ti he'd be a year in the comedy right so yeah so I don't like that he does comedy
but I love to see little dicky do comedy but it's odd to do a little dicky would be great he's a key he's already he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a key he's a But it's awesome little dicky would be great. He's already. Yeah, he's super funny naturally. Yeah
I've never seen I would just he had just go up there and say bunch of big words
And intuitively
You stink
See hold on so fine. They've been doing comedy for a year they call themselves comedians
There was a video. It's, I didn't clip it.
If I had known that this context I would have,
they go to Jimmy Kimmel's comedy club in Vegas
and they're going to see a friend there or something.
And they walk around the line like,
oh, we work here.
We have the standard line.
And they like walk right over to the bar
because they like perform there once a month or something.
Probably at the hometown heroes Sunday night.
Shall I would imagine funniest person in Vegas contest or something like that.
Is my only guess worst hair.
Oh God, it's really ridiculous.
All right.
So you brought up that these people seem kind of dumb tookie.
Now, obviously bottle blonde is an insult, but there's another insult that they want to bring up.
Bob blondes.
Bob blondes.
But another insult to blondes is the dumb blondes.
The dumb blondes, yes.
The blondes.
Yeah, it's also been in salt to cut.
The dumb cots, like these two.
Yeah.
All right, so then let's just find out
how stupid Casper actually is, shall we?
I thought you embraced the dumb blonde.
I do embrace the dumb blonde.
I've always been dumb though.
I feel like there's some merit to the stereotype a little bit, you know, but there's some
also, there's some very smart blondes.
Yeah.
But see, I think it's the bottle blondes that are given the real blondes a bad rep.
So the dumb blondes are actual bottle blondes and that's, you know, know, you know, I mean they're not representing correctly because I'm a bottle
He's only been doing county for a year
So if you dye your hair blonde does that make you dumb or were you dumb before and that you just dyed your hair black as your dumb already?
How does that work? I don't know I need to know the timeline here because I'm very confused by this whole thing
Okay, let's keep going on this trail
Because now they want to talk about the famous dumb blondes of history and so they get into it here
He's a bottle pond
What's their natural hair color? Brown! Really? Yeah!
Yeah, Marilyn Monroe is...
Marilyn Monroe is blonde hair, but she was her real name was in her magine, and she had dark hair.
No shit!
I always thought she was a natural blonde, because she wears it well.
She wears it so well!
And she's like the most famous blonde to ever exist!
Probably.
Yes!
Yeah, I would imagine.
What point does Kacer go?
What are we doing here?
Well, while we're just gonna talk about people died their hair blood the fuck is this?
Yeah, cancer you sign up for this. I can't get it
You can't imagine taking time out of your day and going oh, I have to go see my friend and talk about bottle blouse
What's up? I'm gonna start a show people People with bad teeth, all right, Billy Corgan, jewel, you go.
I can't think of anyone.
Holy shit, what the fuck is this?
It's so enraging and then, so now they get into Paris Hilton talk.
And I thought this was pretty retarded.
Both famous bottle bl
I think Paris Hilton might be natural, maybe?
Not she's probably a problem. Probably a and might be natural most of her is not authentic
Another one she's ridiculously smart, but she made a career after like you know doing that
That's hot and like yeah, that's true. She's like a brilliant business bitch. She's awesome
She's that with Tarty, okay, hold on a second
You're telling me the Paris Hilton if her name name was Paris Olsen, would have been a brilliant business person
You know when you when you start with a hundred million dollars, you can create some pretty decent businesses
I'm just throwing that out there cuz you even fail a couple times. Yeah, his Paris is fucking dumb. Yeah, she's really stupid
Anyway, I just thought that was funny that this idiot Haley is like wow Paris
I just thought that was funny that this idiot Haley is like wow Paris you know people talking about blogs are stupid But now with Paris Hilton obviously she's too smart. You can't go find her for intelligence or anything or anything
She's amazing
All right, let's get back to the ones that pissed me off that you pulled toki
Let's go to number three women aren't funny. Okay, well
No, a lot of the stuff like her she's a comedian. Oh my god, do you really not know who Eliza Schesslinger is?
I don't take this long way.
That's Elk and Moe, are you?
But I don't watch a lot of female co-workers.
I know it.
I know it.
I know it.
It comes down to relatability for me.
That's what it is.
It comes down to relatability.
I watch nail-tomics.
Yes, but it's a man's world, quote unquote.
So the relatability is there for you to wear.
I love the world.
Yes, exactly.
See, it's a man's world, you see.
It's a way for me to hear.
Like, I can relate to some, there's some female comics
that I like, but overall.
Yeah.
I've never liked, I'm not.
It sounds like they might do this T-Cop
as if you're making a snare drum.
They're like, I have one over it, one underneath it.
We got a capture in the stereo, Jesus Christ.
I can't imagine anything being louder
than this during a show.
It's a tea party for retards.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like I've never like, I'm not gonna like check out a new theme.
Like if I'm on Netflix looking for a special,
I'll click on a random guy that I've never seen before.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it sure it or something like that,
but I won't click on a random female because I'm like,
what is this offering me?
Let's dive into this.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, boy.
So he would tune into a male comic because he likes his shirt,
but he would not tune into a female comic
because she has nice boobs.
Right.
Are you implying once again that maybe this guy is a Piazza?
Is that what you're trying to say to me?
Possibly.
Possibly, I'm really?
No, but now in my next clip, you realize possibly he's trying to become the next father of one of her children.
But she will be a single mother of her.
Yeah, I'm not surprised by that because she's definitely out of his league, I would say.
Yeah, but no, I really like Tiffany Addish aside from that obviously like I really liked her I love wand the psychs
I think wand the psychs is great. I love on the psychs
Kim Congdon I just saw her
Yeah, she was fantastic. She was great. She was perfect. She like she she was her like it was it was perfect
It was great. I like her because majority of her set is just her interacting with the crowd.
Yeah, that's why I like, I don't like women
just go up there and talk about sex and their pussy.
They're vagina!
I hate it.
I won't do it.
I don't think it's the one time just to test it.
I don't think there's anything wrong with those,
with having a couple jokes about it, right?
Like I have a joke or I have a sex joke if you're just fine,
but I don't like women do it either.
I think it's super cringey when it do just goes up there
and talks about fucking chicks and dicks.
I think that's super sply cringey.
Like, you know, if you sprinkle it in, that's fine.
But that's why I don't like Nikki Glazer
because she's just like, I'm a slut.
This is my set for an hour and a half.
Yeah.
Tuky would like, but I tell him to like,
Tuky would have, how do I make a sense about any of this?
What's going on right here?
So once he's realized that she was kind of upset
with the fact that he didn't like certain female comedians,
he started naming off all these female comedians
that he started to like.
Yeah, and why does he talk again?
Why does he talk again?
Why is he talking?
Right there, he's like, oh shit, I better backtrack on this one.
Why does he talk to the layers?
He's like, oh yeah, I agree, okay.
Yeah, he's a character.
Yeah, he's a character.
He's a character.
He's great, because she did no jokes,
but did crowd work the whole time?
I know, that is so infuriating.
You're like, no, that's actually,
not what you're supposed to do at all.
That's a cop out, but.
All right, well, these people like to talk about
the famous blondes of history.
It's one of the things that they do on their show.
And I want to point out how stupid they are.
And also remember this clip because it's going to come back in a little while.
Okay.
Oh, Blondie has to be another famous blonde.
Blondie, yeah, definitely.
Okay, I heard Trudy on the Drew and Mike show do this and no one called her out to.
Blondie is a band!
Debbie Harry is the singer in Blondie.
It's, it's her name is not Blondie. It's, her name is not blondie.
It's the name of the goddamn band.
There's the comic strip she might be referring to.
Oh, I, but that's like a 60 year old reference.
It's also not a person.
Well, yeah, you're okay.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure they're talking about Debbie Harry
out here with, it's like we don't call Lou Graham Forder.
Hey, it's Forder.
What's up, buddy?
I'm fine.
I bet it's happened.
Yeah, actually next time I see you, I might know, it's kind of funny.
It's not even that bad anymore.
All right, so let's talk about why Casper is blonde.
There's a really good reason for it.
When you have blonde hair versus dark hair versus red hair, it really affects how people
treat you.
It does.
It really does.
I get way better treatment with this hair.
Like not better treatment, but like more like a,
it's hard to describe.
Recognizable.
People like, I've never had anybody not remember who I am.
Like, you know what I mean?
They meet me once they see me again.
They're like, Casper and I'm like,
yep, that's me.
Exactly.
And I love that.
It's perfect.
It's great for my career too.
What career? It's great for my career. What career?
It's great for my career. You don't have a career sir
Yeah, whoa, are you Casper that guy who does open mics once a week?
I mean doesn't he so insurance isn't that what he does I according to their bio. I'm
Confused about does
He does go by just the single name Casper too,
just seeing all pretty good stuff.
Yes, no last name.
Yep.
I mean, you gotta put a hamburger on there,
or something, right?
Get some credibility going.
All right, so the other type of a style of show they do
is a man on the street.
So, I know, this is so bad.
So they've been
Vegas. There's people outside in Vegas from time to time. So they walk around
and talk to people and well this is the intro to that and then we'll get into
what they actually talk to people about. You'll be shocked. Welcome to the blind
cast. My name is Casper and we are here on the strip in Las Vegas on the
promenade. And I'm gonna be asking random strangers So their top five balloons are of all times. Let's go
You not carers met
This guy thinks he's so interesting and he's just not at all
Fucking born and fucking five. Why is it always five? It takes up a lot of time. Oh my gosh
So not only do they talk to each other about how they're blonde of course
They may go into the street and ask other people about blondes that they know.
So let's see how this goes down. This is going to be great. I'm sure.
All right. So we do a podcast called the blonde cast for obvious reasons.
In your opinion, who are your top five favorite blondes of all time?
You got to name five. I'll give you this doll. Oh, yeah.
Pamela Anderson. Okay.
Good. Well, how Jim Anderson, kind of blondes, but he's, okay? Good one. How gin-anniston. She's kind of lost in that.
But H. She's Brunette.
So Pam Anderson?
Yeah.
She end would be my number one all time every day all day.
Heather Lawsler.
Ooh.
Oh, yeah.
You go back to the 80s.
My age, right?
That's old school.
Yeah, so my age.
Is this fair faucet?
I might have been Heather Locklear, but the point I wanted to make on this,
and there's a bunch to dissect down this one
But he goes Pamela Anderson he goes, oh, yeah, that's number one for sure and then he goes how their walkers like oh, that's old school
They're five years apart in age and they're both married to Tommy Lee. I would say that they're contemporaries, right? I don't know like one of them is old school the other one is like yeah, no no brainer one of them's theater of pain era
Yeah, no, no brainer. One of them's theater of pain era.
Yeah, right.
Like, we're talking about here, you fucking idiots.
So, immediately quizzing him about blondes
and the guy's like, I don't know.
Jennifer, as to just give it to him,
I'm sure she's been blond at some point.
Give him something.
Now, this is where it gets much more interesting
because as you mentioned, why does it have to be five? I can't just be your favorite or something like that.
Because this guy cannot think of Nicole Eggert and they're fine with that and they just move on.
And then Casper has to coach him after that.
Hey, no, I thought he would be women. Just mad and do.
Oh, blonde and general.
What does this need from?
Yeah, he passed away on the...
When he got that car action, but he's on. uh, yeah, he passed away on the one he, when he got that car
action, but he's on. Oh, there you go. Oh, walker. As a piece of a walker, right? Yeah,
that's for. She's one of those
Alright, so we got the four. This has been very tedious so far. I think Casper met someone dumber than him Yes, he's up to four. I don't know why this guy is doesn't get better things to do. This is for a dollar
Things to do right now
Vegas don't gamble go through the show or dinner
So talk to this dollar store Kurt Cobain
So this is ridiculous because he fighting it's a five. That's just not good enough for Casper for some reason and then he pleasure
Give us one honorable mention one honorable can I just pick somebody walk?
Yeah, there was a lot more down that way my name's Casper Casper shout out to Lee Roy everybody
Thank you, man can pick someone walking can I be the guy?
Like it's about you Casper
How about you numbers? So he goes he fighting us through five. He's like give me one more
I was like how is this ever gonna add to cancer? This needs a friend, it seems like.
Let's keep talking.
Keep your fucking dollar.
Jesus.
This is so pointless.
I can't imagine he thinks this is content.
Look, I talked to this guy at the street
and he barely knows what I'm talking about.
I just keep talking to him.
Cool.
I wonder what episode 426 will sound like.
I'll pull you better than that.
It's totally shit.
Wow.
So then they find a plant.
So they're in front of the comedy club,
and one of their comedy buddies is standing
in front of the comedy club.
So they talk to him and ask him this question
about being blonde.
And watch how excited Haley gets
that he's familiar with their show, The Blonde Cast.
This is a big deal.
So this is the Blond Cast anyway.
Can you watch it first of all?
Yes.
You follow?
I saw Casper say that you only follow
with people from Chicago.
You did.
He'll only watch female comics if they're from Chicago.
If I remember correctly.
Was it the white chick from Chicago?
Yes, actually.
White chick from Chicago, I'm watching 100%.
Anybody from Chicago, you tell me they're
from Chicago, I'm watching.%. Anybody from Chicago? You tell me the first go I'm watching.
So here's my observation on this.
These people are so insufferable with a fucking podcast
because they hang out with all these other wannabe comics
doing the open mic circuit.
And you know they're talking about,
have you guys checked out Blondcast yet?
We do a show.
It's called Blondcast.
We're both Blonds.
But bottle Blonds.
What we talk about then the show.
So I'm gonna tell you more about that now.
I don't want to spoil anything, but you got to check out.
But to the guys like, yeah, I caught your show.
That's high sought.
All right.
What do you want from me?
And I've seen all the rest of them just by watching that one.
Yeah.
And so we points out a specific thing that happened on the show
and then they have to go back to it and show you that,
yeah, this did happen on our show.
It was two weeks ago.
Wow, it's incredible.
And let me just play that.
Yes, you guys.
Go ahead, Juki.
You guys bug me every week, every day,
that we were doing the open mics at 2am for four people.
Hey, check out the Blancast.
Hey, have you heard of it, the Blancast?
No, no one has heard about the Blancast.
I'm wondering the person who said, I don't know, they found it. I think they have like 15 subs on their channel, right?
Something like that.
The exultumac the
Kardashian or something whatever that name was. Oh, no, you have it. Yes, that was it.
All right, so one more on their buddy the comic here and this guy can't name a single blonde person
Now what I would have done is cut this part out
But what they do is play the game for him for some reason
Why don't you say
Yeah, it's a country where we hang neither one of us in the room. Why don't you say you name Blond or tell me your name?
Okay, okay.
Alright.
I like by the way she goes just so you know neither one of us are natural blondes.
Her roots have to be two inches long at this point.
She says.
Both of them.
Yeah, I mean they're not pulling it off at all.
And they're like, by the way, this is going to surprise you.
I'm not even a natural blond.
No, I know.
Wow. No, I knew. I'm not even a natural blonde. No, I know. Whoa!
No, I knew I was a little bit nervous.
Okay, all right.
Yeah, you're nail blonde.
Paris Felton.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Marilyn Monroe.
Yeah.
Oh, and Wilson.
Yeah, he's giving me a little hard copy.
So you go, guy.
Funny movies.
Reach on the catclad. He's a good guy funny movies. Right on the gattles.
Yeah, yeah.
The fuck is going on now she's just naming Boise. He's going up.
Yeah, seven year. Seven year. You're nice.
Hey, yep.
It's going on.
I'm not sure the game is anymore.
Is he going to get a dollar for this?
For agreeing with her?
Doesn't make any fucking sense.
All right.
What else you got here, Tuky?
Number five, I'm not sure it's just labeled two retards.
I didn't pull these clips or did Elha replay pull these for ya.
Elha replay did.
Oh, okay.
Last week I worked the construction convention.
Oh, so you just got him.
Oh, I thought we were him? Woo! Hahaha!
I thought we were like old men being like,
smile! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no It was the worst, but it was crazy because I literally thought so it's called con expo
And I thought con expo no even better right up my alley
But I thought con expo was like convention people so like a convention for people that put on convention
Like a comic con type of thing right?
So that's what I thought I was going into but it was a convention for construction workers
And it says really really big one that happens like once every three years
They couldn't have it because of COVID but we'll love yeah the most sexist motherfuckers of every month
They think they're the I don't know what it is actually maybe they think they're the desirable man
Oh, does that make sense? I think I'm out like I work with my hands and my hands are dirty and mail
Yes, so she went to something called Con convention or Con Expo.
And she thought it was an Expo for people who put on conventions.
No, that's Con Con, that's what you're thinking of.
This is Con Expo.
Hey, Lee, come on.
Get with it.
She seems easy to fool.
Yes, speaking of easy to fool,
we find out more of why Haley might be a single mother
of, I believe, too, Eclip number six.
It crosses into the professional world.
It's like, okay, it's like one thing to say something
at like a bar or whatever, but like if you have work,
dude, like, come on, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop,
no one's here to fuck, dude.
Here you job. Well, men are fucking peaceful. Calm yourself, nobody's here to fuck, dude. Here you job.
Well, men are fucking peaceful.
Well, no, my tracker for today didn't have all the people I worked with.
God.
And they're like, good life choices.
God.
Where do you work?
My first job was Wendy's.
Oh, God.
That's sorry, it's my problem.
It's my problem.
It's like good job, you're still fucking, I did by problems. Yeah, that's all I did by problems. It's like good job.
You're still fucking, I can lose her.
I'm sorry.
What?
You're not gonna do that, Wendy's.
At least fuck your boss yourself to it.
Well, this old weed, really.
Oh, okay.
That was just, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's out.
He lived in the halfway house across the street.
I'm telling this.
Oh god.
I think I've made better choices with women than you have with men and that's saying a lot. did the halfway house across the street. Oh goodness. Oh God.
I think I've made better choices with women than you have with men and that's saying a lot.
I'm a single mom. I have a feeling that you have me better choices.
What the fuck?
So she was banging the fried cook at Wendy's who lived in the halfway house across the street
for bags of wheat. That's what I heard too.
So that does. that's what I heard
Well, too key and did you see how nervous Casper's not good talking to this girl? He is very good because it's him was shaking as she was talking about fucking co-workers. It's like oh, we are
We're kind of working together
So if I can't weird
All right, so this is what really annoyed me about Haley going through with her friend,
the Kirkhamic friend, and giving him the answers to this is that a Ganty fucking says this.
And then she looks at him like he's the retard. You know, blondie? I don't know blondie? No. Okay, fine.
And then she looks at him like he's the retard.
Yeah.
You know blondie?
I don't know who that is.
You mean Debbie Harry?
What are you talking about?
Because they even showed him that one.
They showed Debbie Harry's cheats.
Right.
That is who she thought.
I tried to give her an out.
That is what she thought.
So that is very stupid.
Now, let's go ask a group of Hawaiian people.
This question.
I mean, this is going really well.
This seems like a promising start.
Go in your opinion, we need your top five favorite blinds.
We need five and total from all of you.
Okay?
Go ahead.
Five points, famous ones, historic ones.
Oh, we have to get 25 different ones.
Yeah, I know, I got 95 from total from each of you.
What?
Go.
And then they can't even spin out water like, I don't know.
I don't see five singles in your hand.
I don't mean blogs for nothing, you know.
Now let's get back to what Tookie was talking about.
And that is how Haley definitely considers herself
a bit of a smoke show.
I wanna have him check her out on Instagram.
And, you know, we're not seeing the full image here
on the podcast, so I thought this might be a good way
to figure out what she's actually up to.
Stas to being a beauty. actually up to what starts the thing of beauty
nothing like a magazine
what do you think about that too
wow those are great jokes
a lot
when these are my favorite female comedian jokes Wow, those are great jokes
These are my favorite female comedian jokes when they pose naked or
In Lachere yeah, she's got a little bit funnier in my book
Yep, all right, so here's a great here is your your typical post from, I'll say it, Millennial, all right, I have no problem with Millennial's,
but this is so typical.
So here she is in some hot pose done by obviously
a professional photographer.
She got her hair over her face,
she's up against the wall and she wrote,
it took me a long time to realize myself worth,
and it truly loved myself.
But once I finally did, damned, does it feel good?
And then she's got all these hashtags,
Motivation Monday, Self Love, Self Worth,
Learn to Love Yourself,
Okay, now I'm realizing why this is all coming about,
because she fucked the frialator guy for me.
And she's like, you know, I probably should have respite
into myself more.
I am pretty hot.
That makes sense.
Yeah, now it's all coming together, isn't it?
I mean, I think Elha Reay and myself combined have cracked the case.
Could have done it myself.
Absolutely.
Alright, so here's one more thing I found on Instagram where she's promoting a product.
I thought you guys might enjoy this because she wasn't always a comedian.
She used to be like a news person or spokesman or something.
I'm a busy parent.
And as a busy parent, I need to save time where I can.
Because guess what I can't even do by myself.
Showing a toilet.
Make a good on my recording.
You literally paid up to 71% of your time, you spent.
Yeah.
Wiping yourself.
Squatty-pity.
Squatty.
Squatty.
On the pot.
Squatty. Squatty. Squatty. Squatty. Wiping yourself on the top.
Squat day.
Squat day.
Squat away.
And hey, for you poor souls out there with pooping husbands, problem solved.
Your body's not your way of doing it.
Just hope your body out a little bit.
Squatting party.
Number two, just got better for you
All right, so I just wanted to make sure that no one was a tried to do anymore hashtag dignity
Holy shit What the fuck was going on there all right, too key. It's had enough of this
Blondcast we we get the chest of it
Yes
Sorry to put everyone through that but to make up for it.
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I have a fantastic segment prepared for you. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
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Oh!
Oh!
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Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Fire! Unbelievable what this guy has been up to and I have to start with a phenomenal
submission from Tony Muscrat. This is one of my favorites here. Doos put up your dukes for having a boxing match now
Truly pay your dues you filthy
Chad please cut that part out
The policy police to assist and seize another lawsuit. I'll be winning
I'm gonna stop my show
Tomorrow my complexion frightens women
You know that you're a chunky club
And you'll repeat yourself 30 seconds in
I'll still win
But have yourself another course
And drink it like a man with no panelin
Dependent of the ring, do's pay a
Shooly pay your dues
My show can't lose
Bob and Shooly's gonna break up
I'm gonna win the fight chance not that bright. I'm not even wearing makeup
Well, maybe a little concealer
Then mommy
Then mommy
Then mommy
Oh, yeah, they found the work too. Oh my gosh, that's a great one right there.
Fantastic Tony Muskrat, thank you for that.
Now, as I mentioned, John's not just back.
He's back and better than ever.
This version of Settling John, I wouldn't have been
the trailblazer that I was with Settling John content.
If this is how he was all along,
people would be like,
oh, we have to fucking make fun of this asshole.
It's guys all over the place, it's ridiculous.
So this morning, he went on Patreon
for the first time since October,
he made a video just for the people on his Patreon.
And he did it from his bedroom
that I believe he grew up in
because he's still in his mom's house.
To give you see this, yeah. I am not that I'm so happy because he made it private. Okay. Yeah, check this out. This is insane
Why hello on my fellow patrons
Thing only my fellow patrons
One thing only my fellow patrons I know you're not feeling well if you want to go throw up now
Just play now it's settery john we've been talking about how he's great this compulsion. He's not red
He has now ratted this one. All right. Let's I'm sorry. I want to play
Why hello on my fellow patrons.
This is the one, the only stuttering John lying in bed on his beautiful morning in New York.
I met my mom's just chilling waking up
after 11 hours sleep because I got so fucking sunburned. Oh, you ain't kidding. You want to
to tell me beach? Who's talking to you? Good buddy. He's kidding. Danny. Hit man, man. I'll do it if you will.
Danny. Hit man, Dan, if you will.
I never said, be a good man's payer. Although the do's payer would like to lie to you about that, because the do's payer is always full of shit. Well, tomorrow I'll be broadcasting live.
And Rudy says, did he just squeegee? Oh God, please put that
in my hand.
His hair is now gone.
The lights where it looks like he's wearing headphones.
You're right.
You can almost do the Princess Leia.
Pretty impressive.
Thanks for covering your tits, John.
It's a Moomoo.
All right.
Now, this is the big announcement. This is the reason why he's making this video. All right, now this is the big announcement.
This is the reason why he's making this video.
This is exciting.
From Kevin Brennan's YouTube network,
because the powers that YouTube decided to
not allow me to monetize.
Not really sure why, for some reason,
they have not allowed me to monetize.
So, Kevin, being a good friend,
that he is going to allow me with his great producer, Adam.
Allow me to do my show on his network. Prepare to get ripped off, Adam, at 1 p.m. tomorrow. So again, this is only for my Patreon
members, although I'm sure somebody will post it as they love to do because I'm so
I'm getting interesting.
Even while I'm in bed.
So Judd's promoting that he's going to be on
Kevin Brennan's YouTube channel tomorrow,
meaning Monday at one o'clock.
And he's like, and this is just my Patreon members.
I'll 32 of you.
When you want to promote this to everyone? To get as many of you watching as possible?
Yeah, maybe some new viewers. He loves to talk about how I'm a very smart
marketer. Compared to you. Yeah. The marketer of the year. Compared to Suddory John, who's just like,
all right, this is a secret everyone. Tomorrow I'm going to be doing a show on Kevin's channel,
and I want to get as many super chats as possible. Don't tell anyone. Whatever you do.
I want to get as many super chats as possible. Don't tell anyone.
Whatever you do.
Carl, this is a guy who decided I should go online
and make a video before I should get up
and put a shirt on.
Yeah.
I know he's amazing, isn't he?
He's really in something else.
This is intimate.
So, John's, when he did his show, he'd be finally on Friday,
did his show, people have probably seen it.
I think it's still up,
but it's the hypocrisy police with Stuttering John,
which I call the hypocrisypolice.com,
because if you go there, you'll find who are these.com.
Should have registered that, John.
Anyway, thank you, Vity Palovino,
for registering hypocrisypolice.com, much appreciated.
So, John is upset that he's not able to get donations Thank you, Vitty Palomino for registering hypocrisypolice.com. Much appreciated.
So John is upset that he's not able to get donations on there.
And he thinks that it's because YouTube's inept.
They're ineptitude, he calls it.
He's like, John, you decide to take all your content off line and go away for eight months.
There's rules to monetizing your YouTube channel.
You have to have viewers.
You have to have people watching it.
Or else YouTube's like, okay,
this isn't a monetized channel anymore.
He seems to only have the energy to bitch about it,
but not look into it.
Yeah, I know.
Whenever they ask him, why is that?
He's like, I don't know.
Sure you do.
For some reason.
Just for some reason, okay.
So he goes on the show and he brings on Chad Zumak.
And he says, he keeps putting up his Venmo and he says he can send me paypal
You can send me Venmo. I just can't super chat me because I'm not monetized on YouTube and so
For whatever reason Chad starts getting the donations to his Venmo and John's that really get a getty
And this gets John pretty upset with what's going on?
Because he has money.
Right, you would think you wouldn't be begging for money
for three hours straight when you have money.
But John, as John says, who doesn't want more money?
I can't argue with that.
I've never said no to more money.
So he's got me there.
It is one of his better jokes.
He's like, that's why I have a substitute teacher because I paid more money.
We made, we now make 106,000 a year.
Okay.
Why do you find that funny?
That fuck.
So John's explaining that his salary for the LA Unified district is $16,000 a year.
But he also likes to throw out there that he makes between 6,500 and 7,000 a month.
Those two things don't align.
I mean, this is pretty simple math for a math teacher, you would think.
And I don't, Tuky, maybe you know what better than I do.
I believe John is still a substitute teacher.
Am I wrong?
Is he a full-time teacher now?
Is he getting a salary?
No, I believe he is still a substitute teacher and he tweeted the other day bragging that he makes 2000
a week. Right. Okay. Well, that would line up more.
Eight. Eight. Grant a month. Okay. That's what he said. Even though every month doesn't have four weeks
but today.
Right. Yeah, you can round it off, sure. Okay. All right, so what we're watching right now
is John's trying to explain how much money he makes.
And, uh, Chad's just laughing.
But is that really paying attention to John?
He's kind of looking down.
So, John obviously is distracted by Chad laughing at him.
I just said, I'm just reading the chat.
And it's just, why are you giggling?
It's just funny.
But, John, if you don't think this is funny,
then you're stupid, it's funny.
You're talking like, you're doing a WWE promo.
Like, you got it, and then I got this,
and I feel like a dick, but it says,
don't split this with John.
It's like, so Chad just showed his phone
and his Venmo is pulled up up and it's a $299
donation to Chad. And the notice don't share this with Chad. Watch Chad's reaction to
this. I'm just thinking it's just insane. It's insane that people are sending me money
and I'm sending you money. Everything's just crazy. Okay, I'm sorry. If you beat me you better send me some
Seat thing I mean I don't know I can go I can leave I can leave the show trust me
I can go no no if you want me to go I don't I'm not
Cockblock now says all thanks for the 10 bucks. It's fine
Obviously Jesus fine, Chad. I can go. I mean, I got to. Yeah. Yeah. Doesn't matter. Obviously, Jesus.
You're my guest. Make money. I don't care.
I, but I'm not even like promoting it. I'm not like saying it.
Like I'm not like here.
Yeah. I don't care. I'm happy for you.
Okay. All right.
Just want to make sure.
See?
See, I knew it knew I knew you'd turn
That's pretty cool I like that So he used it as a sound effect on serenity is I don't so Chad is just fucking with John
Through all this entire lives. He was three hours long and it's magnificent
I sent Chad a note and said, kudos.
This was a really good job that you did.
He found his calling final.
He really did.
Senator Joe will make anyone a star.
I'm convinced of it.
I've said this many times.
This is not hard work that we're doing.
Yeah, fucking with him is very easy.
I know, it's really incredible.
So you can see right there, John's reading his thing
with $10 as Chad's hear 300 bucks and throughout this
There's so much to talk about in this episode
I pulled out the segment about me because I thought that would be interesting to talk about on this show
But there's so much to talk about throughout the entire show people are donating 18 cents
Five cents it is gone about five cents. He's reading their names. It's so fucking fun. I'll be just fucking with job
It's so fine. He's like a rebless since 69 cents. He's reading their names and so fucking funny. I'm just fucking with job. It's so
fine. He's like, I've replaced since 69 cents, but he never got a shout out.
Oh, poor L. A. Revely. That's so fucking funny. And meanwhile, Chad is cracking up laughing
because he just keeps getting these huge donations. He keeps showing them on the screen.
He got 399, then 499.
This is Christmas for Chad.
And John is seething.
I see thing the whole time. I'm sure he hides it well, right?
Nope, no
Nothing with that mascot. Could he mask it?
So this is near the end of the episode and
John's trying to figure out how much money he made. He's going through his PayPal and his Venmo
So you put me over the edge.
191, 25 on Venmo.
And I feel like a kid going through the pill case
and the candy they got.
And then I got a KitKat, three must-cutez,
209, 2.966.05 on PayPal.
If I get five more bucks on PayPal,
that'll break 300.
Okay, so then this turns into,
I just need five more bucks to break 300 on PayPal,
a thon,
because that's how he talks about that
for the rest of the episode.
And it never comes in, that's just great,
and I'm just like, I go so but the past is that what Chad started to do is try to flash his total amount of money
that he made during the show when John's not looking but then John catches a wind of it
and he sees what's going on.
Not $4.99.
$5.
So that's John's still screaming that he needs just five more dollars and this is not 4.99. $5.
So that's John's still screaming
that he needs just five more dollars.
And this is Chad showing $4,233 out of his phone.
On PayPal.
And then I'll be happy.
There you go.
Oh, kidding me.
Oh, kidding me.
Oh, kidding me. Are you kidding me?
Oh, wow.
Are you kidding me?
Why are you going to give me a vague at least?
I don't, I mean, I appreciate everyone donating.
I mean, you pretty much, I mean, 4 four thousand's a lot of money. I feel bad
Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, I'm not gonna high. I'm fucking I think I owe you I really do
You ever come to Florida. I will take you out for a steak dinner or whatever you want
Anywhere you send me like 300 oh
Should that's not what I said I'm taking out to do that. I'm a what we get 40 300. You send me bring it prick
Yeah, all right. I'll send you three
No, I love when John wants money for people. That's what the insults are flag. Hey, you fucking prick
What would John wants money for people? That's when the insults are flying. Hey, you fucking prick. Send me 300 bucks. Oh, let me get that check.
That's what he used to do on his show. He used to bully people when people weren't super Jenny. He's like, you fucking assholes aren't even super
Jenny today. Like, well now I want to give you all my money. Yeah. She's a scratch. Throw it with this guy.
So how the mighty have fallen. Yeah, I like that. John just to let his beak though. Because originally they were talking about splitting stuff.
And then John's like, no, no, you don't have to split it.
I think that's fine.
And then he's like, come on, what about the big?
Can I get 10%.
Come on.
Remember when we talked about splitting?
Yeah, oh gosh.
John is, he's so upset that he can't get these super chats
and that he's relying on Venmo and PayPal.
And it's just not the same.
People want to see their name show up on the screen
and their whatever, their Guffanata or whatever.
So people aren't as motivated to do that.
But they are motivated to fuck with John in other ways
by sending Chad money.
No.
Do I think the Chad actually got $4,000
during this stream?
No.
Not for a second, but John does.
No.
John thinks he did.
That's the important thing.
The important thing is that John thinks that.
And also I should bring up Tony Mazers on the show at this point now too.
And Tony's also claiming to be getting Venmo. He's like, Jesus, guys,
said it's a John. At one point, Tony gets a $200 Venmo and he goes, yeah, he wants to know
what's what it's like working with Howard Stern. And check it out. So what are you doing? I'll call you up.
So fucking funny. It's just one of the greatest things ever.
But Donald Trump help out Ed McMahon when Ed McMahon was having financial difficulties.
I don't know.
Perhaps.
Yes, I believe he did.
Perhaps John could reach out to former president Trump if he's having so much financial
difficulties. I'm sure Donald Trump would love to take that fall. I'm sure.
Absolutely. He knows the number. John, you have the number. Yeah. I'm gonna call. I'll
help you. I'm telling you, I believe he helped out. Ed McMahon, he has a fetish for helping
tonight's show announcers drunk tonight. Yes. Correct. that. That's everything. Yes. Correct.
Yeah, I mean, Donald Trump's a great guy.
We all know that.
This is probably the highlight of the show.
Let me get to this first, because John has the, Chris, you're not going to like this.
The most not running down his face.
You've ever seen.
It is a trail all the way from his nose to his lip.
And he doesn't even realize it until
he sees himself on the screen and I'll just point this out because I thought I was funny.
He's looking at the screen but it's not mirrored so he wipes the wrong side.
No, it's such a dumb point but it just made me laugh even more.
This is phenomenal.
Hey pal, yeah, hey pal will work too.
You know, I'm doing this for free.
Go back to Uber Bob, leavey.
Oh, here's a fight awesome Joseph Crawford.
Down with the doos pay, a dumb with the doos pay,
or it's down with, which I don't know why you would be.
White back a loser.
White back a loser when you can back a winner.
Like me winner like me
Here's the car
Okay, I like car I do and I told him What a fucker. What a fucker. What a fucker. What a fucker. What a fucker. What a fucker.
What a fucker.
What a fucker.
What a fucker.
What a fucker.
What a fucker.
What a fucker.
What a fucker.
What a fucker.
What a fucker.
What a fucker.
What a fucker.
What a fucker.
What a fucker.
What a fucker.
What a fucker.
What a fucker.
What a fucker.
What a fucker.
What a fucker. What a fucker. What a fucker. What a fucker. What a fucker. If it was that was so much not running down your face like that if it's numbing you but what's crazy You went to work it on the wrong way. Yeah, that's awesome and then you saw that it caught a little bit
And like I'll keep with them out of the thing. I was like whoa to more than I thought it was
This is what I wish John had like ultra high definition cameras. Yes. Yeah
Have fun Carl oh
I'm Carl oh yeah
Fuck it I'm allergies
John's got a bugger that's gotta be at least three or four parody songs right there right oh
Shit it's unbelievable it's guys the best and he's still chugging his OJ. Yeah, he hasn't learned from that. Well, he claimed on this show they had
and drank in three days. But then they started, I know he goes, it's been three days
and I drank. Sure, Fourth of July week. Of course, of course you're not drinking.
Out with your friends all day. So then he pulls out a 12 pack of cores. This show started
at one at the afternoon.
He's like, I haven't been drinking at all.
He starts shucking down chords
for the rest of the episode.
And I was talking to Dr. Steve about this
because John likes to claim,
because he starts acting drunk,
like something's going on there.
And my speculation has been,
well, he's on Kelonapin,
who knows what else he's doing.
So maybe there's a mix of happening there
when he drinks alcohol.
So I asked Dr. Steve, what he thought about this.
He said, well, you know, if his liver is shut down,
he's not metabolizing the alcohol at all.
You can get very drunk very quickly.
Right.
Yeah.
Sweet.
Nice.
That's one of the perks.
I'll live a failure.
Save money.
Did you know?
Did you know Orange Juice and C are is called a canoga park
mimosa? I didn't know that because I would never order that. Get them a pick with pub.
Look at two keys. Why is he on his puppet ears? This one. All right, now of course everyone's favorite bit
that John does is, well, before I do that,
I was gonna get into beer math, let's do that in a second.
This is more John Spitting, someone clipped this
and put it up on YouTube.
This is insane.
The amount of saliva, again Chris.
The amount of saliva that comes out of this guy's mouth I
don't know how you have this much saliva in your entire body what along this
much to come out of your mouth since I'm saying 900 away every month of my
beautiful kill.
Good.
Yeah.
Oh.
What's going on there?
There were two.
It was one big one.
He's leaking.
He's leaking.
Holy shit.
Can you believe that?
He's got needs a washer.
God.
It needs like that filter flap that like closes things back up for it.
All right.
He is grotesque.
He's so disgusting.
He couldn't have come back in growth.
I know.
Dude, I couldn't be having more fun with this.
And I was so ready to move on from Chad and John.
We were starting to transition away from those people looking at West Coast comics and
getting into that world a little bit more
And then this all happened. I'm like I can't I can't not talk about this every day all day. This is insane
It's your you owe it to the people I owe it to me
But I've invested too much time into this to turn away now. It's insane
Okay, let's get into some some beer math. I love John's beer math
Sometimes jad is a hard time following
But now he's got Tony on the show and maybe Tony will to figure out how this works
You guys remember this right about the it takes an hour
For your system to absorb or whatever it is the alcohol
Tablet eyes and I don't know whatever I remember that but I also remember Chad not being able to get it
Which was fucking hilarious you couldn't figure out five minus three. Yeah. Yeah. Just tell me
This is my second 12-ounce beer. I'm not even finished when he yet
But apparently don't make me do the math again
No, he had Tony if I have two beers in an hour
How many beer how many beers are in my system if one beer dissipates every hour?
Well, it's depends how much you have to urinate
Do you have like a thing?
If I have two beers in one hour and in one hour one beer dissipates how many beers do I have?
I might go down. You should be on an even keel. Like good enough for you to get like maybe a
swipe buzz. Can anyone? Can anyone as is fucking question? I would let you drive me home.
I'm on one beer, but this is my key. This is a little bit more than cores. There's a little kick to that.
I've got aippert improv glass
Did you ever perform the Pittsburgh improv John yes me to me three Tony if I had
I'm gonna be this woman. I don't need a fucking idiot. It's pay attention. I did it
I did it I did it three times for Chad. I'll do three times for you. He's a yeah, Tony's dumber than me
I did it three times for Chad. I'll do three times for you.
He's a, yeah, Tony's dumber than me.
No, no more on him.
A college dropout.
Now, if I have Tony pay attention.
Two beers.
But in every, but I had two beers in one hour.
And then I'm going 50 miles an hour.
Every hour, one beer leaves your system
that has many beers do I have in my system?
Trying to, I'm going to say one.
Oh god, fuck it!
Finally you fuck!
Oh, finally I'm just going to write.
Finally! Oh I'm oh
Chad went with the give round the end of the chance
punchline which is very funny
prize myself John my sixth grade is a smart
I know I know what John we don't bring kids into this
They're both fucking with them so hard and what's great is that John thinks he's smart
and he's explaining, he's cheating them a lot.
And look at his face like I can't believe I'm surrounded
by any of them.
Yeah, right, John's just like, I'm the only small one.
Yeah, I guess.
It's like, no, they're fucking with you, John.
I do not know that.
How do you not assume everyone's fucking with you
all the time at this point?
I don't understand.
Because he's not smart.
That's for sure.
OK. Now, we're going to start to get into the Carl talk. because he's not smart. That's for sure, okay.
Now, we're gonna start to get into the Carl talk.
He's gonna explain why he's disappointed in me.
But before we do that, he calls out Benny Loco
and Andrea Brower.
Now, these are two people who were his mods
for a long time.
They didn't make a penny.
In fact, they were still super chatting John
while they were also moderating
his chat room, which a lot of work involved in that. They have to get rid of the trolls.
So I work going on. And now John's super pissed off at Benny loco.
I don't need them. I want to have to have somebody I resentful that I'm not paying them and I certainly don't want to have someone going
Oh
The snack is already starting to form oh John you owe us something that you left too early you didn't tell anybody you owe us
Fuck off be fuck off a B
Not mentioning names. We know who you're talking about
There is okay a
Broward you know I have any put Bob Lee out.
No.
All right.
So now, Jon's got a chat up from Bob Lee V. Fat Balls.
This says, John Neurichick.
Now, what's hilarious about this is, if you ever look at Jon's Twitter, now I can, because
I'm on block, so that's cool.
I don't think Jon's ever put out a tweet that was chromatically correct.
I don't think he's ever done a lot.
Well, I mean, you could sit here and go, there's been a couple of times
when John's fucked up, grand round and all of a sudden, but no, he literally gets
wrong every time.
Punctuations off, like everything about it.
So this is so funny.
Now, Chad, I'm not expecting you because you couldn't remember.
Oh, could you not could have meant, but do you notice the problem with the
writing of this?
Yeah.
So he put your, instead of the apostrophe,
RE, so the chat goes off on a whole thing about what it is this person is
for their grammar.
He's one of the kind. Okay. Let's get into me. John is talking about how
we had a conversation on the phone last week.
Was oh, no, it's two weeks ago, whatever. Recently, I had a conversation on the phone last week. It was, oh, now it's two weeks ago, whatever.
Recently, I had a phone conversation with John nine days ago.
And we were talking about doing a show together.
I think I brought this up.
And it was very cordial.
And it was a nice conversation.
And I thought we were onto something.
He was excited about it.
I was excited about it.
We're gonna go on my channel.
He agreed to the terms
There were negotiations were over like we got this awesome
So then he backed out and I was like what the fuck is this all about and I've been messaging him since then like are we doing this or not?
What's going on now? He's doing his own show. He's going on Kevin Brennan's
Channel now instead of doing it with me. So he explains why all this happened
So Carl and I have a wonderful conversation doing it with me. So he explains why all this happened.
So Carl and I have a wonderful conversation.
Will, look on the phone.
Yes, Carl tweeted me, John, we have great chemistry.
I agree.
No, General, let's say it wasn't going into my mouth,
I would puke.
Yeah, I have a very weak gag reflex.
So they want to smile.
OCD won't allow.
So I,
Carl wanted to show me, I said,
sure.
So we started talking.
Now, I was duped by Carl.
And this is how, when Carl's good at,
now, Carl's good at,
well, he wasn't, I didn't know,
I didn't know, I didn't know,
I, I, I, very, everybody's been, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, show, I enjoyed it quite a bit. So, all right, we had a conversation.
And basically what I was saying is,
let's do a show and pick up where we left off from MLC.
Because when John and I were on MLC,
we weren't screaming at each other,
it wasn't like with Shule.
We were having it back and forth,
we were having a conversation,
and he would make a point, I would make a point.
I thought it was entertaining.
People seem to think it was entertaining.
I was entertained by it.
So I said, let's do that again, let's do round two. And we'll do it on my channel. We'll get super
chat. We'll answer people's questions. We'll have a back and forth. So I thought this all made
perfect sense. Now in John's dumb head, he thinks that because we had a phone conversation,
there were BFFs and he wants to do the Carl and John our buddy show. No one's tuning in for
the Carl and John our buddy show. That's what tuning in for the Carl and John are buddy show. That's what Chris is for.
Carl and Chris are buddies.
That Carl and John, all right?
We don't, I don't need more buddies over here.
That's the thing you're not gonna say.
So, John thinks I duped him
when nothing had been further from the truth.
I thought we had an agreement on, but anyway.
So basically, we'll get into all of this,
but he saw that I was still goofing
on him and so I don't have any tigrity. You hurt him while I death. I guess I was so excited to be
your friend. On MLC. He was so into you guys being friends. He had so many good things to say about
you and then as the episode went on you could tell that John was getting a little frustrated with you and you all started calling you a feminine
not gay not gay we're not saying gay you're not gay I just have feminine you know I'm not gay
I just can't have sex with girls to produce children but I'm not gay right Sarah your sperm is a loser. It cannot produce the child.
My sperm is a loser you are.
My sperm is a bunch of blondes is.
So I'm shooting this sperm is too stupid
to even realize what gender it is.
Toogie, toogie.
That was a chat.
Okay, chat. I told me that joke
Chess got a lot of them give it to him. All right, so John's got a new nickname for me. It's no longer Carla
He's gonna explain his new nickname
Something go something weird about his speech just like his drinking. He's gonna weird energy right John
Oh my god, there's a bugger at John's nose. Oh my god Just like his drinking. He's got a weird energy, right, John?
Oh my God, there's a book or a John's nose.
Oh my God.
All right. So John was trying to do an impression of me.
And he's like, I don't, I haven't figured out how to do it yet.
And so Chad launches into his impression of me and everyone loves.
So the he bird, well, you know, I call him the heberg because he stole the whole his whole concept
from joktober, which was opian Anthony who stole it from Howard, who was goofing on
Imas, goofing on the Grishman, goofing on the Bella way before opian Anthony.
So it's not anything original, cause not an original guy, calls shut the fuck up.
Now that's odd.
So I stole it from Open Anthony, who stole it from Howard.
So Howard invented who are these podcasts.
He thought it should be pissed about this.
I wonder if there's anyone goofy on other people pulling clips and laughing about it before Howard.
Probably not, right?
No, no.
I'm sure he invented that.
No. I'm sure Howard was the originator of all that.
Of course.
Okay.
So I do like the Hebergler.
I hope that catches on.
It's pretty good stuff.
And Southern John cannot stay on topic.
This is what's so frustrating about watching this.
So he wants to make some points about me.
He just keeps getting sidetracked.
It's very difficult to watch his show when he does that.
This is why I told Carl there's something fuck up. We have a lovely conversation on the phone Carl
and what happens? I tell you Chad right on the phone. I go Chad dead. You know Carl and I
yeah thank you multi-platform gamer. How would it have been to Google phone you? You know, we didn't.
That was my father and my friends.
They had the Venmo.
I can't get two chance to stop paying a pipe.
And if the and if the and that chickpeas here are blocka.
Because you know, she.
Okay.
I can't believe I'm about to defend call right now, but I saw a clip of Carl saying he
was playing it up on Uncle Rico just because he wanted to create some drama from when you
guys do a show.
So he said it was all in good fun because he wanted you guys to have like a back and
forth when you actually do a show together.
Yeah.
There's many local and watch what I'm going to do next.
Jesus Christ. Fuck!
All right, son of a shotgun.
Not focus on this guy.
He's a Chad.
Yes.
Chad gets it.
Correct.
We got to go into this hot John.
That's the only way this works.
We can't have the, you know, we talked at MLC and we're, he's a pretty good guy.
We got dinner last night.
Yeah.
You know, we have a lot in common.
I enjoyed it.
I enjoyed it.
I enjoyed it.
I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed common. I enjoyed about stories. Yeah, I enjoyed all the stern show Although she had to play some of my favorite clips of Southern John and stern. Yeah, she wasn't that bad tonight
Show either he's pretty good on that. What the fuck John? What do you think this is?
Chan understand it. He's an idiot. He gets it
It's not that difficult to figure out. Oh, Tuki. You're still here. Sorry
Yes, Tuki is still here
Listening trying not to be annoying
Yes, too. You still here. Just listening, trying not to be annoying.
So people can blame tookie. But isn't John Manning Benning loco for basically Benny Locke saying the truth? Yes. John, your last show was on Halloween.
And then the next day everyone got charged for November and you disappeared.
She's right. You do owe everyone that was a patreon member during that time. But also, I remember this
because we went back to watch his last episode. He was
promoting the shows he was going to do that week. He goes,
I'll be back tomorrow with this thing and then later in the
week, blah, blah. So not only did it disappear, he just
appeared without telling anyone that modernist reached out
to me, never responded to them. So that's a penny locals
pissed about. She's like, what the fuck we're working with
this guy? For no pay.
Yeah, free. We were just volunteering, helping him out. It can't even communicate
with us that he's gonna take a hiatus or let us know what's going on. So Benny Locke
was upset about that. Now you just saw that Benny Locke was showed up in his
chat and John Blockter. But boy, is he pissed off with Benny Locke? And Tuky,
you're precisely correct. John should be saying, I'm sorry, Benny Locke and Tuky. You're precisely correct.
John should be saying, I'm sorry, Benny Locke.
I didn't handle that well.
Instead, John's pissed at her.
He's trying to turn the tables, like, no, no,
she's the problem.
Lock, buy, buy back, stand up, Benny.
Buy, goodbye, get here, buy signs, buy signs. a penny. Bye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. don't know. It's a radio thing. Oh yeah, right.
So Fudgeko says, John's mods turn on him because he promised each of them they'd eventually
be his permanent co-host.
That's why they worked for free.
He strung them along for years.
I did not know that.
They're too embarrassed to admit it.
All right, he might have some inside information.
Fudgeko often does.
I did not know about that side of things, but it would make a little bit of sense.
Okay. Tookie is going to have to sign up for John's $100 tier and then go somewhere close enough
for John to drive and have a few drinks with some of Tookie's closest friends.
And maybe we can get some information because that is part of John's new Patreon model.
Oh, I saw these on a $100 tier.
So what does that mean?
You get to hang out with John for a hundred bucks? Yes, if you're within driving distance of somewhere, John is.
So like if John goes on vacation somewhere and you're within driving distance and you
know, you live in Phoenix and maybe he's in Vegas, you can say, Hey, John, I'm going,
you know, come drive to Phoenix and have some beers with me.
And I believe it's like three or four of my friends.
Yes.
So everything's figured out.
Part of it is the perks as you can buy a beer.
Yes.
I've got something in sense.
He doesn't mention if you need to give him gas money, but I assume that is in there.
So you might need to plan some extra money for John's gas.
I keep forgetting to plug the fact that
if you go to our website, who are these.com
or hypocrisypolice.com, we'll also take you there.
If you go there, you can find our PO box number, our address,
and send us hot sauce, send us drugs, send us gifts.
I keep forgetting to tell people that.
Go ahead and do that, that's fine.
We're happy to accept those things.
Okay, so now, John's going to explain
hypocrisypolice.com is on force and full duty. I'm the hypocrite here.
That night, let's see what calls up to. And there he is, trashing me again.
And I'm just like, how disingenuous is this prick? Like, come out. Here you are.
You and I had a great conversation. We were laughing.
We shared things that we're doing. But what do you do? Then you go on a show and start
fucking traction me again. Hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, call.
Just like, yeah, so I let this scorpion out my back
to get across the pond.
That's weird, I was thinking,
I can't fucking believe it.
Spuck it scorpion, it's a stung me.
Can you believe this shit?
Also, does he know what hypocrite means?
No.
He doesn't, because I never said I was gonna stop.
Try, yeah, it wouldn't even make sense if I did.
That would just be a liar, but yeah.
John is such a hypocrite, that's what's so funny about this whole thing. So he just be a liar. But yeah, John is such a hypocrite.
That's what's so funny about this whole thing.
So he's trying to call him when I was out for being a hypocrite.
He needs a different shirt.
They're not nice police.
But I thought you were my friend.
You could have had everything together, Carl,
but you decided to trash him again.
And he's in the sun.
Chance a good smugug because he's like,
you're not in the cool club, are you?
Yeah.
So this is hilarious because Chad actually again,
is the voice of reason here trying to explain to John
that there's a method to my madness.
Now it's insane to me that John would think
that we have a single phone conversation.
And then from then on out, I'm gonna defend John.
I've been, this has been my profession for years now.
This is what I do for a living.
So I wasn't gonna just stop.
And John's like, we have such a great conversation.
We shared all of these intimate details,
he shared a lot of weird details with me, for sure.
So I don't know, I actually thought I had a theory,
I'm not gonna say anything that John told me,
because that's fucked up. I don't talk about phone conversations, unless it a theory. I'm not gonna say anything that John told me because that's fucked up.
I don't talk about phone conversations.
Unless it's with the four of producer of the already show,
which we got to talk more about that
because I messed up a couple of things.
I don't have that episode.
He sent me a long text.
Anyway, the point is that John was telling me
these interesting details about his life.
And I got to thinking, I'm like, why is he telling me this?
Could it be because John has said once that he likes to say certain crazy things about his life that aren't true
to see who's leaking the information on social media.
Because didn't he say like you didn't have visitation right to this kids or something
to like one guy to see if he was actually his friend or not, and then he saw that showing up on Reddit and he's like,
oh, not my friend, which is a horrible strategy because all you're gonna do is create more and more rumors
about what a piece of shit you are.
So, yeah.
So, it's a weird strategy,
but I got to thinking, maybe that's why John's telling me
this stuff, because I'm not gonna leak any of the information,
you know, I think that we talked about in the call.
Obviously.
So, anyway, Chad explains to John that, no,
you really should revisit this.
I wouldn't hear him out though,
he might have a good explanation.
I think from what I gathered,
he was trying to build it up for your guys, isn't it?
I know why, stop it.
All right.
No, no, no, just stop it, because, you know,
and I get it, look, Chad, I like you,
so I'm not putting it down, but just stop it.
Don't make excuses for someone being an asshole.
So, John's got nothing there.
Like, Jed, very reasonable.
Maybe there's a reason why Carl is still, you know,
doing shows on you, it would make more sense
if you guys are gonna do a show together.
No, no, don't talk to me.
I don't wanna hear it.
Even though he's just, I don't wanna hear it.
All right, so this is pertin.
Yeah, I know. You can tell because check this out.
So, so you're on record, video record, you're no longer,
you're out of the car business.
You're watching your hands, you're moving on like steel,
don't gotcha.
What? Only because call and it's not like when I was on the phone with you,
I really thought that we could be friends. I did I said you know what I've been very complimentary
About you. I said that you should run the fight. I said you're smart. You know marketing. I mean Chad
How could be more complimentary to call to me?
And How long is Carl spent just goofed on me?
A lot.
Years.
But I could take it.
Everyone says I have such thin skin.
I could take it.
I could do a show of Carl.
I'm care.
Wait, now I'm confused.
Now who's the hypocrite?
Hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocr's the hypocrite hypocrite hypocrite police.com everybody because John just said he's not doing a show with me because I trashed him
Right after that he says but I can take it to someone trashes me. I have thick skin. Which is it?
Carl only trashes me because he loves me
At least he has Chad as a friend so that's good. I'm sure that's long lasting.
Yep.
I mean, all these guys want friends.
That's the one thing I'm noticing.
You don't really want some kind of deep connection with other men.
Is that why Kevin Brennan?
Is that why I love Kevin Brennan so much?
He's like, I don't need friends.
Who loves friends?
Yes.
It's great.
Kevin's the only one who likes to give a shit.
I don't want to know any of you. Yeah.
Yeah.
People all, everyone else is yelling,
love me, love me, daddy, please.
Yeah.
All right, so I thought that was a little bit hypocritical
of John to say he's not doing a show with me
because I was goofing on him,
but he doesn't mind when people goof on him
because he's got a thick skin and he's a comic
and he can take some good nature to ribbing as Kevin likes to call it.
Alright, so now John is going to explain that he's better than me.
Because I don't fuck Chad and mark my words.
You'll never hear me trash you.
Now, if we have a fallen out and I see you trashing me, that's different.
And I'll mind like a joke.
I'm not a book coming out.
It's funny, you know.
But if you, you know, it forgets on by the way, I got to fix your name and the thing.
I always think it's, it's, uh, CHFDM.
That's just.
All right.
So, you got to love this guy.
He's like, now, Carl I talked to him on the phone
We're friendly and then he trashes me. Chad. I would never trash you because we're friends. Well, I lost I had reason to
Immediate copy out there, but either way mark my words. Yeah, whatever they may be
So hopefully everybody is going to clip that little
Second man, I'm saying that's gonna come back. I'll never trash you until I do.
Correct. That's pretty much what he said.
Now, this clip is exciting.
I was super stoked to hear this.
And I ain't done yet, bro.
I'm not done yet.
I still have an agent.
I still have a manager.
And I'm still going on additions.
I'll get something.
You watch.
I'll be on TV again.
Dude, you didn't know this? Were you like were you sniping this episode? You missed this part?
No, I was not stri- sniping. I was in an airport during this time, but yeah, no, I missed this part.
But so he wants to be a famous comedian or entertainer slash substitute teacher.
Yeah, I thought we were going, I thought we're done with
children. I thought we're all done with show business.
He found a new career. He loves helping the children.
He wants to teach science. He was fulfilled.
And now he's saying he's got an agent in a manager,
which I remember his agent firing him or this manager.
Dante, I remember that. I was very funny.
I mean, I thought teaching was much more fulfilling
and something where you use your brain, bomb leave A.
Right.
And now you say that he's still going on additions,
he's still on show business, he's not done yet.
That's exciting.
I'm glad to hear that.
All right, let's finish up with me though.
Because in this episode, they don't talk about me a ton It's mostly about bomb leavey the do's payer silent mic
Kumiya those guys, but
Paki I mean yeah, let's let's finish up
You ain't worth this freaking bugger egg. That's you goodbye. I was pretty bad
I want to close that door, but that's just me you do you do you look look?
I don't need the money. I make eight cheese a month put your family
And that's not included my pensions
You know, but I don't do anything for free.
I'm not doing a shit for free.
All right.
So Che goes, don't close that door.
There's no reason to, which, thank you.
Right.
We can still do this show together, John.
In fact, you probably have more things to say to me now
than you did before.
I've done everything right for us, buddy,
to set the stop.
So, let's still do it.
I'm still into it.
And can I point out, when we started this whole thing,
now, one of the strategies I have on who are these podcasts,
I never tag anyone on Twitter that we talk about,
I'm not looking to actively engage with the people
that we goof on.
I make it very clear that if they want to have a rebuttal,
they can on their shows.
I'll usually play it.
If it's funny, I'll laugh along.
If it's not funny, I'll let them know they still suck.
But I'm not looking to talk to these people.
I never wanted to meet OP.
I'm never wanted to meet Southern John.
Now that I've had a car, I'm saying,
Southern John, this is great.
Let's do it again.
It was never my goal. But now that we've done it,
and people seem to enjoy it, I'm all for it.
But John seems to think that that's never gonna happen.
So then they talk about how Chad was accused
of calling the police department,
and who else got called on the comedy club during
Dabblecon?
What's the department, health department? Health inspector, yeah. Got called, and they had to come called on the comedy club during Dabblecon? What's the department health department?
Health inspector.
Yeah, got called and they had to come down to the comedy club
because somebody called.
So people speculated that Chad Zumak did that
because he seemed very upset about Dabblecon.
So Chad asked John, John's the one who did that.
Because obviously, there's a motivation there you would think,
right?
So this is John's answer to whether or not he called
the Rochester Police Department.
So did you call them or was it just somebody else?
See, you know, I did call the Rochester Police,
here's the thing, they told me I have to call
that I have to call. I have to call 921 LA first.
That's why they don't have it on record
because they said no, no, you have to call you local police first
then they'll then transfer to us.
Okay.
Well I called LA, LA police, talked to my buddy there.
I have a friend who's cop there.
And then I, I, I, I, I, I was just like,
oh, if I didn't carry more than, and, you know,
and I let it be, I don't got time to be like,
big dealing with this minutiae.
You've got nothing but time.
You slept 11 hours last night, Chad.
You've got nothing but time to be dealing with this.
I think what really happened, if this, any of this is true,
is that he called his friend
at the LAPD and they go,
John, you can't arrest someone for calling your kids losers.
Why would you think that that's something
that we're gonna get involved in?
There's 80 people getting mugged down the street right now
in the town you live in.
And you're worried about a guy who was goofy
on his Patreon that your kids are losers.
What are we doing here?
Don't ever call us again.
We're gonna lose your number now.
We blocked.
Block.
What an insane person this guy is.
John, let's talk about it.
Let's talk about you trying to get me arrested.
That's funny.
And this is the other thing too,
is that John and I had a conversation on the phone
and he thinks that I'm the one that duof Tim or betrayed him or I have no integrity.
John, you've tried to actively ruin my career.
You went to Patreon and tried to get me taken down.
You went to YouTube and tried to get me taken down these copyright strikes.
You wanted to end what we were doing over here.
That's actual violence.
Taking someone's livelihood away, taking their money away is violence
John is committed violent acts on me. I went hey those kids sound like they're a bunch of losers
That's not violence and my world. That's a joke in his world. It takes maybe things are losers
So he's like that's not funny
If they weren't losers, that would be funny, but I guess it's my point. I'm sure they're great.
I'm sure they're great kids.
That's the thing.
Let's have them on.
Their mom's wonderful.
All right, so John, this is just kind of funny.
Talking about how we've exchanged phone numbers.
John and I, John, when I was at LLC, John goes,
Carl, how come you have a 10?
You don't have any beaches there in Rochester?
Cause he doesn't have a 10, the Great Lakes.
So, or how the sun works.
Yeah, so we were at the beach last, yesterday
for the night of Trump's gigs.
I took a photo of the beach
and people played volleyball and chits
and this big sprawling beach.
I should send it to John.
Like, see, we do a beach as your John.
FYI.
As John made you a mixed tape yet.
Yeah.
I heard you like weaets.
Here's weezer and ween.
Yeah, maybe you and I could be on an island in the sun.
All right.
So this is John talking about how we have exchanged phone numbers.
And we reveal to each other where we live, right?
That's an intimate thing.
I showed it mine.
Call has my phone number.
How long did it take me to give you my phone number?
Like a week?
Pfft.
Pfft.
Perfect.
Perfect chat.
You slot.
Perfect chat.
I'm just making up for so much right now.
I know he really is.
It's like a killing me.
He really is great.
And then they're talking about Vince the lawyer.
Now, John is very upset with Vince the lawyer.
And what happened was Vince was the original guy
who's gonna bring John back to the internet
and it was gonna be Vince, John, myself, and Shule.
And then we were pointed on bringing in Anthony Cumiel.
He agreed to come on.
We were going to bring on Cardiff Electric.
I think I reached out to Alha Rebley.
We were real.
We were going to have Howard and Jay.
We're going to be the head.
Yeah, we're going to have the whole gang coming on for this.
And so we were negotiating this.
Now, this was the big deal that fell through
because John wanted 3,000 in front
and we offered 50% in front, 50% after.
And so John had these long conversations with Vince,
the lawyer, and Vince got his permission to record them.
Right.
Now, since John decided not to do that,
Vince has been putting out that audio on his YouTube channel.
And Vince, because he loves Howard Stern,
and he's doing the joke, he's you know doing the the Scott the engineer
You told me you erased the tapes you told me you were you deleted them, you know, so
Vince obviously is keeping this stuff he had permission and so John's upset that now these conversations are leaking out
He's in on the fucking backstabbing fucking douche bag of a prick. We need to fucking beat him
Vince the lawyer emails me.
He thinks he somehow.
All right, watch this.
What's happening here is the chat is mimicking.
John, he's doing everything to John's.
We're just trying to act,
we're trying to play it off.
John's like moving his hair around.
Chats were in a skull cap,
so he's like pretending to like do the same thing.
And John catches them on it, but it's very funny.
Vince Deloitte emails me. He thinks he somehow, this very funny. Vince Deloitte emails me.
He thinks he somehow.
This is how funny Vince Deloitte is.
He thinks that somehow.
Are you going for me when you do this?
I'm just trying to get down the right way.
I don't know.
I have a skull cap.
Dog.
Fantastic, Chad.
Really funny, Chad.
Chad is a lot like intern David, Fantastic Chad, really funny shit.
Chad is a lot like intern David where intern David thought he was a lot better than Bobo.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, exactly.
Like you're both retarded,
but maybe Chad is slightly less retarded.
Right, I think that's,
I think that's what we're discovering here.
And I might be doing a show with Chad later today.
I'm looking forward to that,
cause I wanna, like I said, I sent him a note,
I gave him some kudos.
All right, this is the last clip that I have on here.
And what happened was,
John complaining about the fact that
YouTube is not allowing him to have super chats
or monetize his channel right now.
And so he's talking about how he has more subs
than all these other channels.
Now, I happen to be watching it this time
and I put a note in this ad actually.
I have more subs on YouTube than you do, John.
You're a good guy, Carl.
You wanna let me know?
So it's good as a longer clip,
but you'll get there eventually.
There's a lot of fun things going on in it.
But Chad sees that no and calls it out and reads it
So I haven't done a show since November 1st then boom I
Go on and I can't I can't I can't get super chat
But you know in a weird way that fucks them because they're not making money now, you know?
Yeah super chat but you know in a weird way that fucks them because they're not making money now you know yeah it's silly and I have over 17,000 subscribers you think they would want that yeah you want some of that
he you got more subscribers than the shooly network and Kevin and me yeah well and fucking Carl from Rochester. You got a Carly. Sorry, I fucked that up.
Now, I'll start with Chad.
Chad, I thank you for doing the show.
It's been a riot.
I had it last.
I really did.
I'd, you know,
I did a good blast.
Thank you, dankook.com.
No, we're having fun.
Honestly, yeah, if you want to sign up to my youtube channel or hit subscribe
and uh...
uh... now it like fucking carls and chases like not true i have twenty thousand
subscribers he's
he's trying to like swing is dick at you john he's saying he has twenty thousand
you know that seventeen what do you do about our chester
but he's trying to like he's trying to one-up you and on your own show
he's trying to like he's trying to want up you and on your own show
You're a back stabbing prick, you know, I have a nice conversation with you. What do you do?
You go and start trashin me again. You have no integrity
Taggedy what's taggedy?
Taggedy weed from taggedy farms Take it. What's take it? Take it. Weed from take it. He farms.
You heard my feeling.
I know it's so insane.
You hear me?
He burglars.
And again, Chad played that perfectly.
He's trying to warm up you on your own show.
Yeah.
He believed this.
Like no one have even seen it.
The chat was going so fast.
There were a thousand people watching this.
When it was happening, it was going so fast that no one would have even seen a
chat at a callin' out. Sw. Swinging his dick at your show.
Can you believe that? Chad has come into his own with all this high school behavior.
It really is being up. He's like the fight starter.
And it's a good point. All right, we're going to bring Cardiff in before we set our next segment
only because I want to get his take. There's anything that we missed on here.
Oh, hi. Oh, hey,
car.
Oh,
blue.
Oh,
yeah.
Oh,
that
car was wearing his no toki or he's got no toki background going right now.
People have spoken.
Everyone loves toki.
What are you talking about?
It's killing it today.
Nobody loves toki.
You're obviously avoiding the you're you're blocking people in the chat.
I'm not blocking the chat. I'm blocking the chat.
You've become the stuttering John.
Oh, I'm going to take you right off.
Hello, hello, Mr. Electric.
Don't even start with me on that.
Can you turn down a little bit or something?
Still got that noise going.
Okay, hold on.
Yeah, get your technical stuff figured out.
You flew a piece of cat beauty.
Yeah, thank you, too.
I don't understand you guys are right for it.
It's very odd to me, but I want to be his friend,
but he's always so mean to me.
Can I point out, I was looking,
I was trying to get your plugs together, Tugy.
And of course, your show is on the B-Dabler channel
on YouTube.
And I read the about page I've never seen before,
but it says, this whole channel is loosely based on the book, or these podcasts by Carl Hamburger. Why is it
Carl Hamburger? Is that a type of possibly a type of okay? It's so a new hamburger.
Yes, hamburger. And now I have to change it to the he burger.
He burger.
Yeah, right.
Because you steal all of Shuley's ideas.
Correct.
That is true.
He burger.
Let's get over the toki thing.
Did we miss anything on the job or what were some of the highlights?
I know you were checking out this episode.
Well, I mean, you missed a card if Snot rag when he wiped his nose with the card if Snot Rag when he chewed me up.
But no, I think you got it all.
Okay.
Hey, there's a lot more to do.
No, we're going to cover this.
Yeah, that was here.
Yeah, there's a lot more to do.
Yeah, for sure.
But no, there was so, everything was great.
What am I saying?
Everything was great.
I know.
It really was.
It was all great moments.
It was such an amazing three hours that unfortunately I had a hair appointment right in
the middle of it.
So all the time he was talking about me, I was not paying attention.
But then I came back and watched the rest.
That's the most effeminate thing you could have said.
Yeah.
Oh, potatoes look at their hair cut.
Is that the thing?
I had the point.
We don't call it a hair appointment
Barber. Oh, it's a beauty salon. Yeah, what's the beauty salon? So where do you get your nails done? Thank you, too?
Yeah, did you bring your pocket book? I was give my Maddie petty what's the problem? I don't know. Hey guys are goofing on me
So anyway, I was in the tanning salon all right
guys I was in the tanning salon. All right, guys, Tuky's put together
a little bit of a package for us here.
So I want to move on to our buddy, Petty Pukewater.
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me.
I don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show Don't tell me you don't like my show
Because that's absurd
Cardiff not yet held dance for OP. We doesn't dance for w a tv. I say okay. No, I don't dance for patty until he has me on a show
Oh, right. Okay, make sense. Well before we get into your clips
Too, because I'm interested to hear that I guess
Patty was going off on me again
Remember we split clips of shows that didn't know what was yeah, and I'll reclip them playing like time out one of that's all I am
They've become so far
I know they really have okay, but before we do that we have the song parody contest going. We have some great submissions.
This is from that Aussie guy.
You guys know that Aussie guy.
And he's tremendous.
Yes, he's, he, Deon me and said,
I emailed you a Patrick Michael parody song,
I wrote the lyrics and one of my co-host,
Jay Scoop did vocals in production.
Our podcast is now called United States of Australia
and we're on YouTube at United States of Australia.
So check them out on YouTube.
That's our buddy, that Aussie guy,
with Petty Pukewater. He's damn in love with sea cuts, when W-A-T-P can't be in shine
He broke records, more is downless, that wasn't this poor guy
His biggest head, I killed a woman, I had to mess him around
If you somehow find his podcast
Who turned her ass into a brown
And if you want her
Or fight a stupid guy
And if you want to.
Very well done.
A little deeper pull for you tuning in.
Paddy Pew-Quatter.
Very good stuff.
And producer Chris is just endlessly entertained by Cardiff
I was wondering why Sleasing his mind over there. It's fine. I feel the patreon for the YouTube folks now. This is exciting
We had a couple people team up here. I like collaborations on the show
Mr. Magenta and Brandon from shitty song of the week put together this one together
week put together this one together. I want to slip my wrist Cause the only thing that I live for Are streams when I'm pissed
Talking to five people
My kids just want to eat
I tell them to shut up
And make them watch TV
If you don't like what I said, you could just go away
But please don't go, I need you so
I'll stream when I'm pissed
Be streams, the boring and my kids cry
Every second on my mind They wish that I would die
Beans, streams, or desks
Written or worthless cry
For tension I'm alone
Won't someone notice me?
Oh, right. Very good submission from Mr. Midgenton, Brandon from Shitty Song of the Week.
Thank you very much for that.
One more.
And guys, keep the submissions coming.
We'll probably cut the stuff pretty soon.
We have a lot that we've gone through already.
But this is a great one from Ben Hilton with Start to Try. I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it. Ignoring all his children's cries, Daring down the general looking for a fight
Recalling all of you to comments
And everyone of his devlies
But it'll prove him wrong, but days got soon to try
Very good stuff.
I hope that I'll for you, sir, no problem at all.
All right, thank you.
That's Ben Hilton with Start to Try.
Brilliant concept on that.
I've been working on a new Stuttering John parody song.
Oh, I have you.
Yeah, to the tune of Bex loser, but unfortunately, I haven't
been able to company it with any lyrics that are better
than the original.
Yeah.
For John.
I mean, you could maybe make it boozered every now and again,
but loser works too.
Maybe.
A bit of writer's block.
All right, Tookie, what did you check out?
I think that we got a, whatever his Patreon show
is free water after dark, I think it's called.
Yes.
Did you listen to that?
I did not get a chance to, unfortunately.
Did you really not because, oh man, I could have clipped
so much stuff, like it's like you say,
there's just so much to clip here,
and I figured you were probably clipping too, so,
but I still got a lot of clips.
Yeah, too good.
This was not a live stream.
Too good you have to understand.
All right.
So much has been happening.
I do two shows a week.
We used to do one show a week.
I'm doing two shows a week now.
And I got through, I don't know,
25 minutes of salary jobs, three hours show.
And we just did an hour segment on that.
Like there's way too much to do right now.
So I appreciate when my co-host to some of the heavy lifting, thank you very much. I wish
I could have listened to this.
Welcome. Yes. Oh, absolutely. Yes, I would definitely suggest you go back and listen.
But yes, he does bring you up a few times. Clip number one is titled Carl is gay. This is really getting around.
Is this my show? Yes, everyone is noticing. Congratulations Carl.
We more than doubled our Patreon numbers. Nice. Okay. We more than doubled since I
started bitching about it and I only started bitching about it and it wasn't a
meltdown. First of all, it wasn't a meltdown first of all it wasn't a meltdown it
was simply this curiosity as to why I'm utilized so much within that universe and yet I get nothing for it
that's all it was it just seemed weird that the guy who constantly talks about me like I'm as
fucking gay lover or some shit would somehow make it monetarily beneficial now first off patty
I don't talk about my gay lover cuz I never would know
I'm talking like my gay lover I keep that shit on the DL body
Anatarily beneficial to me
Right cuz you use me so fucking much. I'm in your mouth more often than fucking any other dude
How many jokes now I was like what's he what's he gonna say I'm in real more than ah
Damn it come on fatty. That was an easy one
All right, let's hope it maybe I'll rewind to maybe you'll do a better job this time mouth more often than fucking any other dude
And I'm supposed to just be cool better job this time. Mouth more often than fucking any other dude.
And I'm supposed to just be cool.
Be cool, 70 bucks a month.
That's cool, that'll be fine.
That's livable.
Fucking morons.
And then that's gonna keep striving me to do more, right?
Here, I'm gonna keep on doing more for that measly little fucking one month payment.
Get the fuck out.
Since when does the guy who's bullying the nerd have to give the nerd money?
No, no, we shake you upside down to take your lunch money dummy.
Why am I giving you money?
Doesn't make any sense.
See, I've ever seen an 80s uh, show, an 80s movie about high school.
But Carl, if you were a bully and you stole money from a nerd and then you invested that money in a lottery ticket and
One millions of dollars. You might owe the nerd some money. Nope
Not my world. Okay. I see your point, Carter. All right, two games
Good point. It's not millions
That's a fucking point. It's not Billions.
Sorry, God, next clip was that the end of the clip? That was, yeah, sorry.
Okay, next clip is called Carl's bad company.
I mean, the guy constantly associates himself with the fucking...
You know, degenerates from all over the internet. Guy?
Even if they're not concasters. Just general degenerate people are the ones that he associates himself with and continues
to.
So what benefit would that give me by being on a show?
Fuck you.
Still.
Because he somehow convinced his fucking troglodyte fans that they're somehow better than
me.
Why don't you look at yourself in the mirror? Or do you avoid those? Do you avoid them like Carl does?
I would I would too if I was part of that fucking little group. Who's gonna be the next Matt Lewinsky? That's all I'm asking
Could it be you?
There's gonna be the guy that pees on you know pees on people shit
Go across state lines with fucking synthetic marijuana
What's it gonna be dude you associate yourself with the fucking weakest links?
It's in there. Wait, he's connecting you with 20 Michael's
He thinks the legion ofers are your friends. Yeah, I know. What's the sauce now? Get to get out. We're not hanging out together.
I promise you that.
You don't go and meet at the hall of weirdos
and discuss your plan as the Legion of Davelers
when you're going to cover for the week?
Not every week.
Yeah, I mean, we show up every now and then.
Yeah.
Sometimes.
OK, so I want to give it an update on on things I don't know what I know he's
made these points before but I still even know a point he's trying to make I'm confused with what
he's even what does he say what does he communicate to me he's angry okay he's angry petty meltdown
what why is he angry just doubled his patreon right and we don't talk about that much honestly
but I'm saying everyone is saying to him
You should go on that show, but he's saying what is the point of me going on the show if they talk about me every week
And I don't see any of my numbers rising
But his numbers are rising
You just said enough, I guess
Fair enough, okay, I'm gonna put a lot of money to get me to put it out there right now for all the people that we goof on
I can only double your patreon. All right. That's as good as I could do
I can't do more than doubling your patreon so if you come in with 15 people on your patreon expect 30 one
We're done with yeah, that's all I can do. Oh
Not you too key it's
You're like a good life ruined to be driven off your net. We're gonna two options check one
All right, what's up, Max Tugge?
All right now clip number three is patty ain't a dabbleer, okay?
You know if that means that I'm some sort of dabbleer and I've already cleared this up
I don't fit into that category what so fucking ever none of
those guys I'm not like any of them not like any of them and I also had no idea who any of them were
well then you are like that person I never heard of was stuttering job and that's because somebody
mentioned on his pod mentioned me during a live chat. Hold on a second.
He definitely knows Opie from Opie to have these talks about it all the time.
So he's lying.
A one of his episodes.
That's it.
Because I got spies too.
I got people that infiltrate your little group.
Oh, the team.
Tell me things.
I don't care.
Right?
Because that's that's what everybody wants.
They want some sort of exclusive.
They want to sort of exclusive
They want to embarrass you. Oh, too. Are you the spy? Do you have something you want to say right now?
Yeah, real you don't feel
During that time I got I got a bunch of fine. You're face expression changed during that I can tell
Okay, he's a puppet
You are a puppet You are puppet
Your patties puppets
A board to book on the rip cord holy shit
All right So patty's got spies. Okay, that's good to know. Hey, everyone in the discord stop talking shit about Patrick Michael their spies
Their spies among us. We'll get got
It's a trap
All right, keep going, dude. This is your segment
All right, uh patty C-combs clip number four patty is the talent
Like I started the whole live thing
because of the MLC chat and how funny that was.
So I started a live thing where the chat is basically the show.
But let's not forget, I'm still the host.
I'm still the talent.
You might be participating in typing words, but let's be honest, they could easily go unnoticed
by me not saying anything about them, right?
You exist if I allow you YouTube. That's it.
It's the same amount of power that Carl always wanted.
He's got eight to 12 people watching him.
I mean, he's given live streams.
Imagine if he was successful.
Yeah. What a tyrant he would become.
He's already braggadocious.
That there's eight people who ignores one of them.
He would be exactly like Stuttering John.
Yes. No, he just said he's nothing like those people.
You know what he hasn't had.
He didn't hear this.
The guy with no self-awareness
explained he's not like the other little cows
that we goofed on.
You know he couldn't handle any success.
Oh no, he seems to know it in a weird way.
He does.
He does because as soon as any show gets popular,
he abandons it.
So he definitely cannot handle that.
Although I think he's growing his popular he abandons it so he definitely cannot handle that. Although I think it's growing into it.
Now that he's doing the live stream and stuff he's still not putting his face on camera
but it seems like he's starting to grow into this and he's starting to embrace it a little
bit.
There is some notoriety there.
He's more popular than most podcasters.
That's about the time he's 60.
Right.
We'll still be gone.
I hope he figures it out
All right, next clip number five patty and Carl forever
I don't want to argue the the point of not caring anymore because I really don't I
Have I could stop doing the shit tomorrow and it'd be fine, dude. Oh
It'd be fine, dude. Uh-huh. It'd be fine.
This does become a job.
It becomes a thing where you're like, all right, I gotta fucking, what do I gotta get out this week?
What?
And then you get this shit.
Or I just try to ramble for the beginning.
But it is true and I have no real quarrels with any of us.
I guess most people know not to ramble. He has to try to ramble.
So he goes, you know, it starts to become a job.
So what I do is I don't take it seriously at all.
I'm shitty at it. Like, well, just like the job jobs.
I just like her.
Yeah.
But it is true and I have no real quarrels with anybody or real jobs.
You know what I mean?
I don't care about none of this. The fact that you brought me up was your fault. real corals with anybody. For real jobs. You know what I mean?
I don't care about none of this.
The fact that you brought me up was your fault.
You know, the fact that you wanted to make me an enemy.
That's your fault.
You know, I could be a real fucking cool guy.
You could have been best friend.
Pretty easily.
Pretty chill dude.
You know, very much low five vibes.
If you can't.
Oh my god.
Everyone wants to be my friend now.
Why do you hurt everyone who loves you Carl?
He's the heber.
Tuky, don't get too close.
Don't get too close.
It's gonna add badly for you to my friend.
Oh, you're going to hurt Tuky.
Ha ha ha.
I can never hurt Tuky.
Is that the end of that clip?
Yes.
Okay, Patty C, number six, Carl's gay again.
Yeah!
But when somebody who I can clearly look in the eyes
and tell they're not very masculine,
right, like they don't have a backbone.
I'm doing with our lines.
I'll fight back.
I'll take you down.
We can play that game.
We'll go round and round, round and round, round and round and then eventually you'll succumb and
Realize that oh
He was better than I thought
You're fucking me and fighting me. I love the car. The car to spend his morning talking to opiate doggy
Yeah, and how he's like he's a buff all of us
Talking to opiate doggy. Yeah, he's like he's a buff all this
I'm that we're laughing so hard to just puppet and I'm a potato. What is this? I don't know is this definitely this show is devolved and I'm not even sure anymore
Paddy looks in your eyes Carl and can tell that you love weeners in your butt. Yeah
I get that a lot. I get that the gym too
Yeah. I get that a lot.
I get that the gym too.
I understand.
It wasn't it, all right.
It's great now that he actually watches my show.
No, so I am understands what's going on.
Cause these takes are a lot better than,
I don't even know that guy sounds like it.
I don't know that guy.
That guy's stupid.
Now that he's calling me gay,
now I'm having some fun with that.
And I don't even know if he knows that you have
a green pool table.
Yeah, John might tell him that would be bad.
Good point.
Good point, too.
Good number seven.
Patty doesn't care.
You morons.
Okay.
Because I think about this too guys if I was so wrapped up in this fucking stupid little circle
that all you guys play around in,
wouldn't I be doing this more often?
Like wouldn't I be doing a podcast episode every day?
I don't know.
Wouldn't I be going live every day?
Yeah, you can do it.
Yeah, you can do this once a day, multiple times,
and then coming out several different episodes.
I usually do about a half-hour podcast as it is
So that in itself should click in your tiny little brains
Hey
He doesn't even care
What
Clearly he said the same thing what yeah, he didn't know how he was gonna finish that
sentence.
It's just some dumb shit to do to put my fucking thoughts out there for someone
That was for your wife and if you stumbled across it and you're like, oh, I fucking hate this guy then it wasn't you
Then it wasn't you and also you must have been homeschooled.
It's probably be homeschooled.
What a very intelligent people are homeschooled.
Yeah, I would have preferred it.
Yeah, right.
No, there's some there's some there's some hurt there with homeschooling.
Oh, yeah, something about homeschooling hurt him.
Interesting.
So we've heard all of this before.
This is, I mean, more bonkers than normal to say,
I obviously don't care because I'm not even
livestreaming every day. Oh, shit, I am.
I'm not even livestreaming multiple times per day.
Because that's how you would know if I carried this,
if I did this like three or four times a day.
And so it's just the one time.
Or if I got better at it.
Yeah. And I like to think,
because my episodes are only 30 minutes long.
So I would say I don't care.
Got us. Yeah, I'm glad you noticed that he did correct himself
What he was saying oh yeah, I would do it every oh wait. I do do it every day. Oh well then I would do it multiple times a day
Fantastic got me there clip numpad trick clip number eight patty is great at everything he does
But I guess this all just comes back to
My general cockiness
You know that's what even family members would label it
cocky and so be it take it however you want man. You can't hold a job
I'm not gonna shove it down your throat. I'm just your cockiness. You're cocky.
I'm not attempting. I'm not attempting. Was it last time you heard me put out a freestyle
rap song? Okay. I know where I belong. I know.
Strangest argument. I thought those were good. Yeah. So the freestyle rap is the one thing
he can't do. That's just rewrite what has already been said. I can't figure this guy out
man. This is why he's so funny. So fascinating. Talking about greatest and everything.
How cocky is about it. Meanwhile, he's bitching that he only has 45 people
on a patron, he's not making enough money.
Why even watching me, if you don't like me, go away.
He's incredible.
So that was pretty much the end of the Carl section.
It was the first part of the whole episode
and then he went on to Tom Myers.
Oh, so clip number nine is titled Tom Myers
Great comedian. I wonder how he knows about Tom Myers. That's interesting. What are the chances?
Who's so I got I got a little about Tom Myers. Well, I don't know if you know this Curtis
But in our little world Tom Myers is a big deal
He's still can only sell about three tickets to a comedy show,
wherever he goes.
He's not a famous person.
Oh, I didn't realize.
Yeah, he's not a famous comic at all.
And I'm not saying, I'm not even taking credit for it.
Come town introduced me to Tom Myers.
So obviously Nick Mellon and friends of the reason why
anyone knows about Tom Myers,
but still, he's not a big deal.
So I got educated. I educated myself on old Tom Myers and
G Rob says, I think he secretly cares. Good observation, G Rob.
So I got educated. I educated myself on old Tom Myers and
you know, I agree. I agree with a lot of the stuff that I have heard but what I
agree with most is Tom Myers okay the fucking guy is good he's got perfect joke structure he's crazy
enough looking that it makes you want to stare at him and see what he's gonna do like
Eventually is he gonna swallow a sword, you know, is he gonna?
You know spontaneously combust on stage. I don't know
Truth be told he looks like a kid that used to bully me in fourth grade
Turn that kid look like he had been through a fire
He had been through a fire. There's bald kids in fourth grade.
Tone of all the he's 80.
Of all the carniacs, Tom Myers looks like it's a sword swallower.
I think it was anything I really come with that one.
And that kid looked like he had been through a fire.
And there's nothing more intimidating than being, you know, bullied by a kid who has,
who might have survived a fire.
What the fuck? Bullied by a kid who has who might have survived a fire
No different than police officer running to the scene of crime or a firefighter running into a burning building. It's what I do
So that's how he losses here. Yes, the damn fire
Wow, all right that clip clip number 10 is patty runs out of steam. Okay.
Can I just get your take?
Because I'm hearing this in the context that I'm hearing it in.
Is he goofing on Tom Myers saying that he's perfect joke structure?
And so let's keep going.
Oh, don't worry.
We're everybody.
I'm not joking.
I've been playing 40 chess.
Oh, you're playing dictionary. But everybody came around recommending this Tom Myers guy as if I was gonna watch it and be like holy shit
this guy's a big dumb idiot and
You know this one of the few times where you're like yeah, he's doing just fine
He's doing just fine
Right didn't he open for some big people has any I mean he did roast battle
against Robbie good wouldn't do And if there's anybody you don't want to roast battle against it's
Robbie good would because he's such a good
who got such a good guy
really nice guy dude what the fuck is happening right now what point is he trying to
make doesn't know he's just saying he's on to us. He's trying to convince the Tom Myers is a real
comic that we should respect, is that what he's doing? Apparently. Well, play clip 11, I won't
even tell you the title. Of course, I'm joking about all this Tom Myers fucking sucks.
I think it'd be funny if you guys clip. The part where I said he's fantastic. Send this
around the internet. Let them know that I love Tom Myers and I think he deserves the bigger
than he is currently. I mean, after 20 years, you've been huge, right? That's how long
it's taken, Bill Burr and all these guys. 20 years. You finally figure out how to hone
your craft. All right, Patty, for that one, I'm going to give you a good job, buddy.
Trick us. Yes. And there is one more clip.
Patty talks about being a roast comedian
and how easy it is.
He could even roast a fish.
You can also bake, fry.
And that's my point about roasting.
Like, be specific.
It is the easiest way into comedy. I'm a roast comic. So you just
talk shit about a guy standing in front of you. Or Mexicans. Seems easy enough.
Because then you could just you're just making it up. Like if somebody told you to
make fun of a fucking fish and the fish was right in front of you, you don't know
that fish. But you can roast the shit out of you. You don't know that fish. You don't know that fish. You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish.
You don't know that fish. You don't know that fish. You don't know that fish. You don't know that fish. You got to make it exhausted.
It goes, it's really easy to make roll show.
So I gotta do is make it up.
That's the hard part, Tommy.
Yeah. On the spot.
What did he say? Be honest.
First, he said you just have to look at someone and be honest.
Right.
And then he said, just make it up.
It's all over the place.
I feel like it doesn't have good points to make.
No, what it seems like to me. He over the place. I feel like it doesn't have good points to make.
What it seems like to me.
He's the best. All right, now I am doing a show right now
with two guys who are heavily featured.
Well, one guy, heavily featured with Opie, Greg Opie Hughes.
Oh, why?
And I have a whole package,
but we're running very long right now.
So I'm not gonna to get to everything.
I'll save it for the next show on Wednesday.
We'll get into this OP stuff because there's some very interesting things going on with OP talking to Chad Zuma the other day.
But I do have something that I need to address that happened on this episode.
So let's do this very quickly. ["Pretty Man, Putty Man"] ["Pretty Man, Putty Man"]
["Pretty Man, Putty Man"]
["Pretty Man, Putty Man"]
["Pretty Man, Putty Man"]
["Pretty Man, Putty Man"]
All right, so Chad is on with the opster.
And you happen to notice, T that Chad was listening to nobody likes onions.
Did you pick up on that? Oh, Tookie did. Here's the clip. Here's the clip that Tookie pulled for us
there. I think it was all security. My guy's name was tiny because he was 6'410 and he was my guy for the day.
He followed me around because it was nuts.
It was the days when we couldn't, it was crazy.
All right, whatever.
And then what was that?
What was that?
Sorry, my phone went off.
I just turned off the ignore.
Go ahead.
And then. So.
Yeah, that was definitely Patrick mountain.
That.
Jen was checking out while on OP show with Tony Mauser again.
This guy's all over the place.
Chad's bringing him around with him on this media tour for
summer reason.
But Chad swears he does not listen to MLO or in L.O.
Sorry, because Melton backstabbed him. So he does not listen or else he made one of his
text notifications Melton's voice. He's like, I just got to turn up my phone. Sorry. That I'm
I hit ignore. I hit ignore. What the fuck are you talking about? You retard. You were checking out his
show. Yeah, you're listening to his show. It was very obvious. So then you point this out and this leads to something
that I do not condone.
Chad decides to go ahead and dox tookie on OP show.
That's completely exactly what was happening there though.
Yeah, please.
No, he was, so he was on this was on with OP.
He was checking Melton's numbers.
He wanted to see who was winning the morning.
He was checking Steelton.
God, you're right.
He was checking.
Oh my God.
Melton.
And he wanted to see if him going on Opie was hitting the numbers
that those guys were hitting.
I got to say this is the worst thing for creators
that they have that listener count,
viewer count in real time.
I've said this before, if radio hosts
could have seen those numbers of the number
people who were tuned in,
that's all they would have talked about.
It's getting in the way.
It's getting like this whole thing,
or it's like they have 324,
but we have 417, now we have 411.
Oh no, no, it's 420,
and he's like, Jesus, whatever. Now we have four 11. Oh no, no, it's four 20s. Like, Jesus, whatever.
These are not significant numbers.
And 300 people.
It's not significant.
That's all Chad Stairsat.
I know.
He's doing a show.
He's just staring at the chat with his dead dumb eye.
And looking at my number go up and down, up and down,
up and down, up and down.
Oh, I have 398.
Oh, now I have 296.
Oh, now I have 311. Whoa, now I have 301, whoa.
Every time you see him watching MLC and you see him just drop the screen for a second,
it's only to check numbers, that's it.
Yeah.
And a lot of times he's not announcing it.
And yeah, a lot of times he'll pull it down to see how many they have and then pull
it right back really quick because it's like thousands to go chip, I know how to show
people that.
So, all right, brilliant observations on your guys' parts.
So this is now, chance not happy with you, Tuky.
No, I'm not.
Sometimes his business isn't fair.
There are people making stupid money and they stink.
And I'm not, I don't even have a producer or anything.
I just babble.
And I go, better than them.
Jim and Sam shut the f up. They stink on ice.
Jesus Christ. Oh, you're getting me going now.
Tookie Chad got caught listening to Melton. Were you listening to Melton during my
live stream? No. Not at all. Well, that's what Tookie's saying. You better take it. You better take
it up with Tuky.
I'll be a missed part of that.
Super Che.
Says Che, I got caught with eating the mountain.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Very important part of that.
Okay.
Fair enough.
If you like.
Rocco.
That's his real name, Rocco.
Whoa!
Hey, Docs. I don't care.
Why the fan in the doc?
I'm not a fan.
I've had people, I forget I took it.
Okay, cock sucker.
So I liked OP's response there.
He's like, well, I don't know why you're doing that.
People have tried to ruin my life,
and you really shouldn't dox people,
because what you're really doing,
it's kind of like when people root for people
to get raped in prison,
you're like, well, I don't want to be the person
to punish you unfairly,
but I'll let other people do it, and I'll cheer it on.
Like, well, that makes you kind of a shitty person.
Don't you think?
So, and yes, except for rapists, though though they should be raped in prison correct and yet John
Was for sure. Okay, we can all read for that. Yes, of course now other than them. Yes now
Tukki, I don't know if Rocco was your real name. I think you're like living the Rocky Mountain
So I don't know maybe that's a dick neighbor something. I don't know what's going on
But possibly
It's a nickname or something. I don't know what's going on, but.
Probably.
Probably Chad thinks he has some inside information about you.
We all know what Chad does when he knows inside information.
He likes to lord it over you and threaten to ruin your life
over and over again, which I actually have a clip of him
talking about that.
And I, maybe I'll save it for next time, because yeah, I'll save it for next time because yeah I'll save it for next time because
Cara if you'll likely be back but it's really bizarre because Chad talks about doxing you
and ruining your life and I was like well what did he do to deserve that and Chad had nothing
yeah no answer really I just don't know why he's a potato on the internet he's got a real
job what would you do if being a potato it potato? It's like, what's your business, what do you care?
Yeah, no, he's insane.
He has nothing.
He has nothing.
He can't attack.
He can't attack our content or our creativity.
So he just has to go with doxing.
I just don't get it.
Well, I do get it because he literally has nothing against us.
But since I work
for myself, once I found out my real name, I immediately fired myself because I'm very disappointed
in my actions. Okay, good. But, but and this also brings me to a new game. I will be premiering
next Saturday. Well, I have to talk to Vince the lawyer first because I don't know if it's legal yet, but it's going to be called wheel of addresses.
All those numbers and letters will be whited out.
I'm able to super chat their guesses as to what the address we're showing you is.
We're showing you is Perfectly legal. Is that legal? This is I hope I'm about doxing chat. It's 19 shit head road
Tampa Bay, Florida 789 85
Yes, on a wheel board correction. It's a 19a
Oh shit, I have to figure out the apartment
Boulevard
Yes, you're right and I will will also have another game I'll be
premiering called where in the world is my biological father. Okay, well, not my
biological father. Someone else is biological. We look forward to to both of those
things, too. Now, thank you. Something happened just this morning. Well, I can I just say
though the irony of Chad being upset at Tuky and myself
or not being ourselves as characters,
we are more real than he is.
I know.
I know.
And more honest.
He said at one point,
I didn't pull the clip
because I'm just getting so tired of Chad,
but he was talking about how he doesn't like Chrissy mayor
and he's like, this person,
he's like, if you had a beer with Chrissy,
she's not genuine.
She's not a real person.
Like, all you do is lie about everything all the time
Would he call it people off for not being genuine? What are you talking about?
What's a friend
I find the way I've hit I've sat down at hand beers with Chrissy mayor. She couldn't be more pleasant
She wasn't feeding me a bunch of bullshit the whole time at all. We just had a normal conversation like friends do
They all want friends. That's
funny. That isn't really good observation. It's so bizarre. So weird. Speaking of weird
and bizarre, OP went live this morning. It's on a Sunday. I think I don't know how you
did that. But Cardiff got on the show today and decided to play a game with OP. And I
mean, things just keep getting fucking a weirder in this entire world and this is no exception.
So this is who said episode 22.
Welcome to who said it? The official podcast game on double.
That's my old voice.
U-A-T-P brought to you by patreon.com slash card of electric and the card of electric YouTube channel
So OP loves to talk about how if you're just doing Jack tober you can't build an audience
What are you doing? You're just doing Jack tober. It's what you do. It's I can do this
He has no idea what this show is obviously now all of a sudden he's playing who said it? Yeah, I gave me playing a year ago
With with card if on his show?
You're ripping me off, Opie!
Which by the way, this was the idea of Vic, our review girl.
Came up with this whole cod sound.
Allegedly.
Subscribe today.
OK, Carl and co-host, who said our first entry who said I pull out let me skip forward to something
very funny so I was he open to know a bit yeah he doesn't know the characters I have a
time stamp for you don't worry yeah card of yeah I've altered the game I altered the game
to say did I say it right so current is going to like you don't know time irises you don't
know that any of these people are so just let me know if you think you said this or not.
So that will be playing by these rules of just,
did you say these words?
Or yes or no, that's so me off.
This is only happening, yes or no,
let's see how he does.
On this one.
This is it.
I think Marvel is catering to the trans community.
Who said it? I think that is catering to the trans community. Who said it?
I think that wasn't you?
No.
OK.
Are you sure?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Try to think.
No.
T. Now.
T. Eatering to the trans community. Who said
one
two
three and
I'll be honest with you. I think Marvel is
T. Eatering to the trans community
I want to point out so Opie it's funny that he didn't know that he said it obviously, but he's actually
cracking himself up listening back to his take on this.
You can tell he's entertained by himself.
Yeah, which is fascinating.
And also he found a friend.
Cardiff, do me a favor.
Just play audio from OP on OP show.
Just watch him react to how act out funny. He's
Asked me to create a game for
Yes, you mean since you put us
Yes, I might have to take some time off from
Catch an alien who is the bigger show?
You think that's why I'm talking curl
Anyway, this this is fucking nuts. The handsome man as a shi-hole.
I think that they're like, there are a lot of guys out there that are into that sort of
thing.
So why don't we turn our superhero into a trans?
I feel like I'm looking at a trans woman. Are you
allowed to say this? Oh my god, are you allowed to say this? I don't know if you're
allowed to say any of this. Let's just put it this way. She's a, she's a, she's a
handsome woman. The show stinks. She's a lawyer and every week it's a
different thing that she's fighting in the courtroom. I fucking hate it.
Or next, then, please.
Wow, well done, Cardiff. Holy shit. Thank you. That's so funny. But I'm going to have to send a
cease and desist now to OP if he's asking our potato to make games for him when card of makes games for us. I mean, this is the contract
that we signed all those years ago, Cardiff. Yes. Yes. Indeed. All right. Speaking of which,
guys, now just everybody keep that line in mind. 20 years from now when I sue Carl for no residuals.
All right, he said we had a contract.
All right, so I say a lot of things.
All right, this is to catch an alien. This is what everyone's here for, obviously.
Yeah, we're one in light today, but we're not missing any of the important parts of
the show.
No way we're skipping to catch an alien with Tommy.
It's time for everyone's favorite game show. No way we're skipping to catch an alien with Tommy. It's time for everyone's
favorite game show. Tuky, you never played this game before, have you? No, Tuky is not.
Now, there's a thing. We play the home version. But you guys might play this. Now, there's
a thing on here called beginner's look. It happens a lot. So I'm counting on you to get
this correct because if you haven't heard this game before what happens is we get five or six choices and
I usually five but it turned out to six last week
So we have five or six choices and if one of us gets it right that person wins
But if none of us get it right cardifans right and we hate that we do
So toki I need your help with this buddy. All right
Well, right I will not let you down best friend Carl. All right
I'm gonna turn on you to you. You haven't heard you guys have a nice conversation on the phone
No, but we did exchange numbers
Oh, Carl I meant to ask so do you think you know exactly where John lives or was he lying to you
about that because he said you guys talked about your houses in Florida.
Yeah, he knows I know where he loves he knows where I love yes.
Do you think he told you the right place or he's just looking to see if you
spill it? Well, he told me an area. I'll put it that way. He gave me a sense of where it's located
and I'm familiar with that area so I kind of knew with some of the places around there so I believe he's being honest.
The Magic Kingdom? Did he move into the Magic Kingdom?
That's why he talks about makeup all the time because he has to wear makeup at work.
What is one of the Disney princesses?
The Prince going in the air out.
The Prince going in the air out to be the Disney princesses? The princess is going in there!
It's going in there!
Someone said he looked like the prince from Shrek.
Yeah, it's kind of.
For Quar.
For Quar or some Shrek.
This is the problem with the potato and the puppet.
It's so easy to get sidetracked out of these things.
I gotta stay focused.
No, I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry. That was too much. It's my fault. The focus on catching an alien. Right. That's what easy to get sidetracked out of these things. I gotta stay focused. No, I'm sorry. No, sorry. That was too much.
It's my fault. The focus on catching an alien.
Right. That's a good idea. Thank you, Cairdiff.
Yes, to catch. Catch this weird looking
bastard. Are you ready to play to catch an alien?
Chris, which is try to find a profession that makes you wake up every day, kind of rubbing your hands.
Excited, right?
I was, I mean, I don't even know you prior to the day, but I was excited because I'm going to be given a platform, you know, that with the very successful platform where I can just talk about idea.
And I get ultimately paid for doing that.
My god, I'm a kid in the canvas.
So I'm going to be the last person to know.
So if you could just I I found it very interesting the excitement about the success of this platform. Yeah,
he was coming on. No, this is what happens. Everyone looks at their numbers on YouTube and they go,
they have 500,000 views every episode. Sweet. I'll go on there. I wouldn't be surprised if
time is no longer paying his guests because he doesn't need to. You did have to at the beginning
obviously. That's why John was on there a couple times
Find some profession that offers you that kind of you know existential glee
Then you you won the game of life. It's because you're not American
Or we call what we call it over here old school
So old school like I grew up in Philadelphia, so did he and in Philadelphia It's very old school Italians or Irish or whatever, you know and grown up where you know if you don't hold that door for that lady
Oh boy when you get home you're in trouble, you know, so and
Through that being raised like that you can have all the money in the world.
But when somebody sits there and reads or watches something
that you came up with and develop, you can't buy that.
Once you have money, you can't buy that.
And then a guy like you comes along
and you're not like a showboat.
And you know the guys that I'm talking about,
everybody's a speaker, everybody's,
I don't know what they're called you know
He's got coach. Oh, yeah, pretty good. Oh, I
Like coach. Yeah, I actually wrote an article about the scam of life coaches
You have someone who has been divorced six times, but they are a marriage coach and they're 20 and they're 28
a marriage coach. And they're 28 and they're 28. The four six times they got three kids or 28 years old and they're a marriage coach just who I want to go to. But they got a following so they
go in their bites. So when I saw you wrote this book really because you know we've seen it just
in here and walk around so many people are depressed and everybody's got anxiety and you know I know you know some
but you probably couldn't even imagine how many lives you saved and you're very kind and knowing
that you're from what did Tommy say next your your choices number one the old country be Lebanese next a different train of thought
school for a broken family lastly unorfinage to catch an alien.
Wow.
All right.
This is tough.
This is tough.
There's a lot of different directions that we can go in.
I think, so Ryan says Lebanese in the answer.
I think that's not the answer, because that is the obvious joke.
And I give credit to Kurt because I was very creative answers.
I need to know that I always make it difficult.
But I almost want to say it has to be next a different train of thought school because I've
Cardiff came up with that then props to him because that's the most insane thing you could possibly think you would say next
So that's why I'm going with that tookie. What do you think?
Oh, this is hard. I don't know a lot about Shulee's dad
I'm gonna go with the first one number a the old country. Yeah, I like that. That's good and
producer Chris. I also went with next so different
Trinidad thoughts go with it. All right. Let's see who wins and hold on a couple people in the chat. They know this guest. So this is actually a real
Oh, they don't go in with number two number two
This is a real guest. She's sad.guided. Yeah, she leaves that oh, sorry
Many people are depressed everybody's got anxiety and you know, I know you know some but you probably couldn't even
imagine how many lives you saved and
Very and knowing that you're from Lebanese and
and you're very kind. And knowing that you're from Lebanese and...
Oh, damn it!
You're a fan of that.
You're trying me out.
It was the obvious answer!
God damn it!
God damn it!
You were saying genius carls?
I believe in the word genius.
I mean, very well done,
I know the high-equal with some of these answers,
but knowing that you're from Lebanese.
Fuck.
God damn it.
Okay, Tukum, not giving that one to you.
You changed your mind.
You were already locked in.
Sorry.
Shit.
Tukum, the boys and girls are watching.
Oh, sorry, boys and girls.
Cock.
I can probably count on my hands how many Americans would do it from their heart.
But you know how many lives you should probably save?
I mean, really.
You're very kind. And I'm not just saying this because you're here on some dumb zoom
I hate zoom. I was just sitting right here. I
agree
Wait, what's that's all for this time? I'm not just saying that because you're on some dumb zoom. I hate zoom
I wouldn't compliment you in person
But I'm just saying this because you're hundreds of thousands of miles away.
Hundreds of thousands of miles to keep.
Well, maybe you should be educating our children.
No, too.
He's not smart.
I'm going to talk to you and get you taken off of Sesame Street.
I think you fired from Sesame Street.
The Lebanese is very far away. I think he fired from Sesame Street.
Lebanese is very far away.
That's true, that's true.
That's very part of Lebanese.
It is what the dozen of us went.
Lebanese land, yeah.
Come back next time to find out if you are
Lebanese enough to catch an alien.
Brought to you by your Remember the 90s,
but Subreddit surfing this Wednesday
with a special huge guest.
Whoa, be there.
You mean Vinnie?
Subreddit surfing.
He's pretty big.
Yes.
So it's correct.
That's nice.
Oh, man.
All right. Well done again, Cardiff. You win you win this round. Cardiff. So bitch. Congrats on that.
Yeah, I offered you the answers, Tookie. I know. And I tried to be nice. I'm not taking it. I should have taken it.
What have we done today? We've done it all. We talked about Blondcast a show with two bottle blinds who talk about blonde hair the whole fucking time
I can't believe it. I just thought it was the name of the show. We got to talk about blonde hair. Why?
Those are the rules. I don't know.
We also talked about Suttering John Tony Musgrat
With a phenomenal song Suttering John was an amazing, his first show back that was his show and it did not disappoint.
It went for three hours and every second of it is clipable and watchable and interesting.
We'll come back to that for sure.
Petty Pukewater is still mad at me.
Did he join this morning by the way?
No.
Oh yeah, we played that clip.
Yeah, from bed.
From bed. Yeah, we played that clip. Yeah, from bad. From bad.
Yeah, we played that too.
So insane.
Petty puke water is still mad at me.
He's not sure why, but I guess I owe him money
or something.
I don't know, I'm not sure what's going on with that,
but some great song parodies coming in for that.
Song parody contest, keep those coming.
Opie radio, we didn't get a ton in two,
but for some reason, Chad Zumaak is mad at two Kuala N 2kW after summary, is it because you called him out for watching Melton? Well, he was
hot. I hope you're showing you understood why, too, congrats on that. We weren't able to
catch an... Oh, yeah, and then Cardiff is playing who said it with OP, which is insane. How
did that even come up? You just told him you make games for us?
No, he asked about, you know, the, be honest, you know,
how do you trash me when you go on WATP and I said,
no, I don't really trash you.
I go the only thing I really ever did with you was the,
you were one of the, if possible,
answers on a game I used to produce.
I see.
I see, okay.
Did you want to hear it?
That's hilarious.
And of course, I was like, I was the subject, yes! I do want to hear it? That's hilarious. And of course, Opie's like, I was the subject, yes!
I do want to hear that.
All right, and then, so we've done it else.
You know what that means?
It's time for everyone's favorite part of the show.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
This is the part of the show. We teased the podcast. We'll be reviewing on the next episode
of Who Are These Podcasts. And I'm not sure if we can do this one or not. Brandon from
Shitty Song of the Week sent this in. So apparently there was a show called Oversharing
with Colleen and Trish. And it's Trricia Pytis.
That's how you pronounce your name.
And then that Colleen Bollinger woman
that we talked about in Who are These Socials,
they did a show together.
The last three episodes and it's already ended.
It was very short-lived.
So I looked for this online
and it seems to be taken off on YouTube.
So I'm hoping somebody has that.
If they do, let me know.
If not, then I don't think as much we can do.
All I found was other people goofing on the show.
So it seems endlessly goofable,
but I just don't know.
It's called oversharing with Colleen and Trish.
All right, current of his advocate.
Yeah, potatoes in the case, all right.
I might be able to get you audio.
Yes, that would be great.
That would be fantastic.
All right, I want to thank my new best friend,
Tuky, for coming on the show.
Tuky's under the weather.
He's been traveling, but he braves through it.
He came on the show, he knocked out of the parking children.
Cardiff, you gotta stop it with this Tuky hate.
No one else hates Tuky, everyone loves T not sure if you're gonna be a good friend.
I'm not sure if you're gonna be a good friend.
I'm not sure if you're gonna be a good friend.
I'm not sure if you're gonna be a good friend.
I'm not sure if you're gonna be a good friend.
I'm not sure if you're gonna be a good friend.
I'm not sure if you're gonna be a good friend.
I'm not sure if you're gonna be a good friend.
I'm not sure if you're gonna be a good friend.
I'm not sure if you're gonna be a good friend.
I'm not sure if you're gonna be a good friend. I'm not sure if you're gonna be a good friend. I mean, you'd be the one who would be committing a crime in that case.
You realize that right, Cardiff?
I'm just making a child born just to fuck his body.
Guys are insane.
For the bit, for the bit, for the officer.
Give it a chance.
All right, come on.
We're stepping all over Tuky's blog. I believe for the we're stepping all over Tuky's blog.
I believe for the show, we're stepping all over Tuky's blog.
Tuky, we're gonna be able to find you.
What do you want to promote, my friend?
Oh, everyone can find anything Tuky or Bidabler or L.H.
Rebley related at BidablinLive.com.
Just go there and you can find a whole link tree to all the garbage and crap that rock.
I mean, L. Herbie, it puts out B dabling with a G at the end.
No, there is no G. It's B dabling live dot com.
Okay, but I will be taking B dabling with a G.
I was going to say I'm pretty watching right now.
She probably already owns it. Holy shit.
All right.
Tuky, I've kept you very long.
If you need to cut it, you can.
I gotta listen to some voicemails.
We gotta hear some nutmeg.
Cut my arm off.
No, no, no.
Come on, this is fourth wall.
Come on.
We're retending the year, your own guy here.
No, if you will have Tuky, Tuky can stay.
Awesome.
I appreciate that. Cardiff, I'll give you the same opportunity
Yeah, you can leave card
Please join us again next time I'm up the episode we find out once for all who are these podcast-leap well, everybody?
Great show.
Good job, everybody.
Great job, everyone.
Internet news with Lucy Taipax.
From Facebook, Brett Purdy posts some choice picks of our pale stuttering John.
Kevin Kent, he seriously is becoming Anne Ramsey from the goonies and throw Mama from the train.
He's going to start yelling,
Pete Martin, so nice that Carl's lesbian grandmother was able to make an appearance on the
MLC podcast.
Evan Wagner, Stuttjo has become Pat Cooper, just screaming nonsense over and over at the
top of his lungs.
Benjamin F. Cohen retorts, Pat Cooper had comedic timing
and could control himself on stage.
Stutt Joe is a substance addict
that gets belligerent.
From YouTube, Equinox Jones confesses,
I hate Monipython, Canadian zoomers pretending
to be Monipython is even worse.
Matthew Zizzo,
Feta with steak, does rule.
J. Smith, these people make stuttering John look like Louis CK.
Yo dogs, gaming uphines?
I love that Christian keeps finding cringe in prof shows that make Carl and Chris so visibly
uncomfortable.
Even the insane criminal reports on the creep-off can't do that anymore.
Fancy Mortimer, this D&D podcast is about a Dan Harmon short of funny.
DMD 1978, these people are the reason Baleen exists.
Racco Maranucci would have been great if these zilches had improvised some chairs to stand
on and a few ropes.
Salty Dog, Carl manipulates the dabble whack pack like a maestro, from Shuley to John and
all in between.
Redid, never leave us again, John.
This is good.
Goody-two shoes quotes,
I'm rolling on the floor laughing.
Derek M, his anger and little diatribe against Kumiya is such an act, a bad act too.
So transparent and obvious.
Countdown to Mama for telling losing his teaching job and having to resort back to chasing
the goonies around for one eyed Willie's treasure map.
Ron Joseph.
John really does look like an angry Fred Flintstone when he's pissed.
North Jersey, Gibroni.
The fact that this guy has a job where he's around children is kind of frightening.
And BLK Mamba plays us out with.
I see John is still stuck in Stuttering John's bogus journey.
Oh, the internet, what won't they say? Hmm.
Wow.
Always party got the audio for you by the way.
Oh, okay, great.
So it does exist probably out there.
I didn't really look that hard.
Okay, excellent.
Well, then in that case,
check out this Wednesday's episode
where we'll be talking about the oversharing.
Hey, I should also mention, remember how we goofed on
Ray DeVito, specifically Christian Blatt,
was goofing on Ray DeVito's appearance on Jim and Sam?
Not surprisingly, he did reach out to me,
and I think I'm gonna go on his show on Tuesday,
and we'll probably get Ray DeVito over here at some point soon as well.
And luckily Jim and Sam use that episode as their podcast for the week.
So it's available wide. Yes. Oh, that's funny. Yes. Very good. All right.
Let's check out some voice mails unless anybody has a review that they want to play.
I never know with you, Cardiff.
Okay.
I do enough.
You do, do enough.
I agree with that sentiment.
All right, let's, sorry, my, my,
soundboard is malfunctioning, so I'm,
I've been going to, I've been going to better help.
No, what's that crap you?
It's you.
Magic magic, my crap.
Magic my, I've been going to, Magic my, I'm not, CLS WATP is fantastic. know what's that crap you spew magic magic my crap magic mind
I'm gonna say that's what's gonna be my
is fantastic work on myself first okay
hey Carl let's look in a
allocator come on you can't
but yeah so this week usually
crins of the week like that moment when
you asked Brian if he knew the my Michael David Ali and he's like just know what you're talking money
He was just trying to like brush it over that you still like push her on to get an answer any violence
It was like yeah, I know how they know what you're fucking talking about
Yeah, and then he has moved on and they even acknowledge how you just failed as a host
Yeah, I didn look good, man.
That was the point of the week.
I don't think anything else can talk about it.
You can talk about one.
Good for you. I'll be impressed.
Yeah.
The biggest problem in the universe, the show on the universe,
other than WATP, it's probably better than NWA TV, but you know.
Alright, fuck yourselves, don't tell yourself love you all bye
well there's less veto on this show so there's that we have that going for us
now let me explain myself on this one because
brine used to work at compound media and michael gavin allie is very well known
over compound media he tends to be there in studio quite often so i figured
brine might know who he was because of that connection. But the other reason why I asked him that
is because Brian is a daughter with Down syndrome.
And so I didn't want to just come out
and say what I wanted to say,
I thought I'd let Brian do it
since I feel like he had the moral authority
to express, I was hoping he would express.
Now, he didn't work out well on your right,
I felt as a host and broadcaster
and I should have immediately rage quit and never come back
again. Thank you, Colin, for porting that out.
We're, we're hurry, hurry.
Yes, or that.
Oh, what do you mean that Michael?
A Gavin Ali is a retard.
Thank you too.
See, now, Tuky was there.
We could have figured this out.
I think that he's a eventual decrease in tempo over time.
Rattard.
Yes.
Yes, he messages, uh, L. Herie Blay frequently.
And I'm getting that hint.
Yeah, he must have just be alive too.
All right.
Bob Levy, the Reverend Bob Levy.
Here's a rumor for you.
Carl check it in from left coast.
Rumor out here is Bob Levy is out of the whole
fight game the devil verse he is up for the lead in the root reboot of golden
girls playing B Arthur and it looks like a shoe and they're just gonna throw
some rouge on them and and he's in all right that's what we hear in the left
coast peace I don't know if that's true he's on on the left coast and he would know better than I would,
but I hope it's true.
I hope it's not.
I mean, come on.
It seems like an insult to our buddy, Bob Lee,
front of the show.
Could be a good gig.
Bob Lee, we're talking about here.
Hey there, Carly Pooh.
It's me again.
I'm just watching the midweek episode 425.
I think we deep dive into Stuttering John's
appearance, hilarious appearance on Chad's show and also MLC.
It's well worth getting the video version, the YouTube version, Unlocks for fellow listeners
out there available at patreon.com slash wapp I think.
No, it's really spack-ass but go ahead.
Fucking wrong with John's face. every single clip that you freeze it really is a drop me
anywhere the guys are fucking gargoyle every time you look like a fucking monster
and you think well okay you know you can pause anyone's video you like mid
mid sentence midstream and their face might look hard but there's other people
there they don't fucking look hard
Just fucking weird man. What are you wrong with this kid?
Yeah, no, it is definitely worth looking at John when we're pulling these clips down because he is
Transform into something wow
Isn't it weird that the the voice mails from last week translate perfectly into this week like oh
You could have played this episode Yeah, no, he could have could have been playing this episode. Yeah, no
Uh, too scary. Are you offended by the M word right there?
The monster. Yeah. Oh
No, not at all. Okay, nothing monster. Oh, I'm
How dare you
My band monster. Oh, I'm whoops. How dare you. Oh, my band.
He's looking back at all her replay like the fuck.
I'll never do this again.
He's looking at you.
No, this is getting so silly. They're just shrugging at each other.
What the fuck is that?
Show is become so fucking stupid.
All right.
Yep.
Speaking of stupid.
Carl, Carl, Carl.
On episode most recent, 425, 44, 34, Mr. Johnson says something that I really struck a hole
He said that Chad is too agreeable and you know what I just have like a little bit of light bulb in my head
You know what Chad is?
Chad is a chuckle fuck. He's just black
I'm gonna anything goes this this this this this yeah
anything goes yeah or anytime anybody brings up anything that directly to them that you know is a brace if he goes yeah yeah but but but but but when you know
he's alone and he's doing he's much more than you know he's all he's all up in there. He's, uh, he's, uh, you know, he's going after it.
What the fuck, and chuckle fuck?
Uh, chuckle fuck.
Yeah, Ryan points out there seems to be a six-peer minimum
to make a voice melcom.
You do not have to be drunk to call into the show people
or standing in the street.
Right, That's fine
But yes Chad is a bit of a chuckle flock. I will agree with the sentiment
There that is probably true. All right. Oh Gary and San Diego
Gary leaves gray voicemails. I love when he calls into the show
But two minutes is a long time for a voicemail Gary
Yeah, we need to it's time for the Gary from San Diego
hype train call.
Hey, Carl, Gary and San Diego.
Well, I'd like to differ with you and
Cardiff.
You both said on your most recent show
that Stuttering John bought a house in Tampa. I don't think so
And I'll tell you why he told everyone
maybe about
Two or three weeks ago that he's taking that California
SETSET test which qualifies you to
Teach science he wouldn't be taking a California test,
if he's gonna be teaching in Florida.
Yeah, he also would never lie about that, scary.
Good point.
Would be.
So, he's got a house in California.
Who knows where he bought a house in California,
but you can, even a crap house in LA County
is gonna cost you about
600,000
True or an 1100 square foot house built in 1940 my buddy Stewart has a few of those houses that he rents out and vines
you're can
Not too far from Kanoga Park sure and
Not too far from Kanoga Park sure and
About fixer seven hundred thousand so I'm saying John butterhouse in California because you want to stay there to continue teaching that that
Where he's been teaching all over what we're not even in there with the teachers and the vice principal and who knows what anybody else that uh... care long for the
goes to the pick-up
not gonna be the right to
anyway
that's the uh... rationale why he did not buy a pamphlet
he's standing california
anyway
let me know you think about that
that's no rumor
that fact
alright gary if you say so, but he definitely got a jet blue plane recently to go back to New York.
Does jet blue fly out of New York? I don't know if they do or not.
I'm not sure.
No.
Oh, I believe they do, but they work at that time of day.
No wear in here.
Gary, it's got an elf figured out. Should've known.
But hold on, so there's Gary, Judy, Sandean, and now Stewart.
Yeah, Stewart. Yeah, he owns some houses in Van Eyed, so yeah. i don't think i don't should have been but but also there's gary jutey sandy and now steward
yet it's a word that's a word yeah he owns a house in bannines yeah it's okay
no matter
the universe is expanding
alright
hey this is that claveland i just wanted to congratulate you again
reaping your harvest on the stuttering john madness
but there's something missing from your shows lately.
After I hear the... I always expect that don't need to fill that much space anymore
It's we have a plant in the voicemail shows gone forever to good song people like it
There you are jet blue jet blue does fly from LA to Newark or LaGuardia
Alright JFK
Wow, we could jet blue who knew?
Alright, okay, wow like a jet blue who knew?
Just not at 9 a.m. On the Sunday
That's all I'm saying okay. Well, I don't know that only out of Florida
Two of his most recent is he kind of the fly here. Yeah, I mean what I mean just pull it up
Did you did you hear John say he wants to buy a boat in his new place. Yes, fantastic. Imagine.
Is there a worse financial investment you can make?
Boos and boats go together.
That's true.
And hose for that matter.
Why not?
Holy shit, all right.
I think it was for you, Tuky.
Listen up.
Hey, Carl.
Hey, Tuky.
This is Rusty. I love both of your shows, but Tuki, I think
you're limiting yourself by only covering one low cow. And there's so many others out
there besides Chad, like Nikitado Avocado and wings of redemption and booty beauty and book it to nine eight eights and Casey arms
strong and dark side fill and stuttering John and donkey lips and I just pardoned my pants
I got to go.
That was that was a good Richard Christie bit from back in the day.
That's a good rusty.
Well, Tookie, Rusty just gave me an idea.
We need to talk after.
Okay.
Okay.
If the two of us just appear in some other low-cal universe,
just out of nowhere, just show up.
I'm with you.
I'm feeling what. I'm sorry.
I'm feeling what you're putting down.
You're feeling what is playing the,
yes.
All right, I'll look forward to that.
You guys are a good team.
You guys don't work together.
You guys are working together.
You guys are working together.
You guys are working together.
You guys are working together.
You guys are working together.
You guys work well together.
I don't know why,
maybe she get rid of that background you have,
Karnav. I feel like you guys are starting to form a bond here.
Okay, too.
Call that Curtis, Nate from Flint, Michigan thanking you for the shout out.
I haven't forgotten that white Russian that the dumb bitch at the Carlson
charged you and not to me. But I'll see your smack talk and raise you.
Moira ties in New York kids.
And please difficult to from Flickstaff
and the fact that I'm cancer.
See I'm all those guys on Carl's voicemail card, Curtis.
Pay your fucking dues on Carl's voicemail,
call that Curtis before you smack off to me
Yeah, double-con to all right
Like the the voice malers are now feuding with each other
It's not good not what I want
Who are these voicemail speaking of voice malers one of my favorites coming back in
one of my favorites coming back in Name that I think we did Let's see if Tony on the wrong side It's Dr. Mosec and Professor Losez That he keeps going this guy to be a boy and over the next four years
Anyway, I was going to say hi to Tuky my favorite part of the disaster
Yes, Carl, you know how that feels
Oh, see you tonight
Bpg is a fan of Tuky
Well, that's not it
I think I'm gonna practice guy
That's tremendous
You're so agnetic, Card. I just got to get over this jealousy.
Pusses shit. Yeah. You're old potatoes. Not a good look. But I agree.
Not a good look for you, Cardiff. All right. I mentioned on the last episode. I'm a
petty cunt. I mentioned on the last episode that there was a voice about a
sounded like the two ways to try YouTuber.
And people told me that's definitely not him.
And I'm like,
his delivery is demeanor.
Is sound like it was him.
Fuck you Carl, it's Mondays.
You fuck, I left the voice in the last week
and you said it sounded like that guy,
two ways to try.
And I never heard him, so I had to look it up.
I'm fucking mad now because his videos are actually
kind of cool.
And he's way better than me
But he's the same retarditating I do
Except his voice isn't fucking terrible like mine is fuck off
Love you, so he even he saw the similarity so I'm not crazy. No
Why might be crazy? Not because of that not because of that. Thank you. That's that's all the point
I was trying to bake right there. All right. We got a few more. Let's get through this here.
Hey, Carl. It's John from New Hampshire. I got to say I'm in the
middle of the hypocrisy police. And Chad Zuma is actually an
interesting part of the show. He's the only thing keeping John
from going completely off the rail,
he's trailing him with all the venmos, he's getting in his account. And that was fun.
It is. I hate to say it about the mud shark, but it is an A plus performance by the
guy. And yeah, I never thought I'd be saying that. Don't call me that.
Do totally agree. I think that's it. We the consensus over here as well.
Chad and I have another clip
that I didn't get to you tonight with Chad with Opie,
talking about how he didn't want to be the first guest
on something John's new show.
He told John, he's like,
we'll get a few under your belt.
I'll be happy to come out eventually.
And John insisted he be the first guest.
And I think that was part of the reason why I changed.
I was like, all right,
if you want me on the show,
I'm just gonna troll you at that. He would insist that I have to be on your show. They've already done six hours
together at this point. They're going to do three more. So anyway, it's funny.
Carl for fuck's sake, it's review girl, not review mentally ill with a
list. Oh, whoa, get it right. You can have call me back.
Whoa.
Listen, I said I don't do reviews anymore.
Exactly.
Oh, man, I think I gotta,
I think I gotta bleep that one.
That's, I think you have to bleep a lot of things
in the sense of it.
I think you're right.
You're more than from Tuky.
You're right about that, too, hey.
The M word.
This is, yeah, this is yeah this is
Gary in San Diego calling it a guy this is Gary from San Diego I was just in my
basement and my neighbor's candy has me oh well't understand what she was saying, so I removed the duck pig from her mouth.
And she said, please, her, just let me go.
I'll do anything.
And I said, I don't know, Sandy, that her day's even if he's high interest rates are
really going to affect John's mortgage.
We see the high rates are driving several other regal banks out of business like the
Silicon Valley.
That really hurt John.
Boy, I didn't hate it.
You know what happens to the stocks when the whole market clicks over,
he's going to really have trouble getting quarters in the breath line during the next break depression.
Well, that's my thoughts here in San Diego.
What are your thoughts, Carl? Gary, yeah. Gary
never asked me my thoughts. I don't even think that was Gary now. It's not a character for this.
That was tremendous. I think Ellen Replay was left. I think it's that one because I didn't see
two keys mouth moving. I think you got to win. You may not be Gary of San Diego, but he may get some of the wit.
Yeah, Gary is definitely definitely killing it.
All right.
This is an interesting phone call.
I wasn't expecting this to happen.
Hi there, Carl.
This is Stuttering John's queer daughter, not to be confused with Stuttering John's transgender
son.
And I just like to say, unlike my friend's younger brother, I am
not a fan of yours. How dare you drag my name through the mud? You have no idea what food
insecurity is. Educate yourself, dummy. Stop talking about me and my father. If you don't,
I'm going to fly out there, break your club seat, take your wife on a date and show her a good
time. I'm sure she would love that. Her life must be miserable, being married to a club
booted to the home with no kids. That poor woman don't call me back. Also, fufstually,
he's a hack. Jesus. Oh my God. I have to say, if my wife falls for a Baba Bui looking like I will not be happy with that
That'll be a new low for me. I just envision John with that hair being the character in misery and you be
You think the one in the bed getting your feet clumped up. They're already clumped
Reclubed. They're straight now.
Thanks.
A clump again.
That's great.
I don't know if it's Sunday, because it's Sunday or a lot of this.
Just one of the silliest episodes.
Guys, thank you so much.
Cardiff and Tukki, you guys worked great together.
I think you guys should collaborate on more projects.
Never.
All right. Well, I'm trying to be here together.
You're trying.
Try my best.
Hey, can you jump on stream here
and after two games I'll talk to you about?
Yes.
I love it.
I love it.
I love it.
I love it.
I love it.
I love it.
I love it.
Guess what?
The episodes over.
What's with the dancing around the shit? I stink. You hate me. Great. Goodbye. Guess what? The episodes? O-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W- Have a good week. Dunin' in it, come on, surf music.
Oh, no, I don't have that right now.
We'll get it next time.