Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep445 - Live in Detroit II
Episode Date: September 16, 2023We were back in Detroit last night with a live show at the Magic Bag. It was a great show with Trucker Andy, Producer Chris, Vinnie Paulino, Jenny Jingles, Drew Lane, BranDon McAfee, Marc Fellhauer, D...r. Steve, Eric Zane, Tookie, Cardiff Electric, Ray DeVito, and Lucy Tightbox! On this show we cover Stuttering John's drunken livestream, Emily Ratajkowski's podcast with Ireland Baldwin, The Osbourne's Podcast, Code Blue Cam, Opie's beer show, Karl song parody submissions, and another round of To Catch An Alien. Support us, get bonus episodes, Vic and Hannah pics, and watch live every Saturday and most Wednesdays: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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Hey, are we ready?
Are we ready?
Big D in the house!
Do I look like Bruno Mars yet?
Hey!
Hi everybody, once again ladies and gentlemen, I just want to remind you that I am the man with their
golden voice.
I'm Ted Williams.
Y'all will make me cry up here to me.
I just want to welcome each and every one of you.
By the way, for those people that are in the back, remember to shut the fuck up. I've been dying to say that. And now it's show time. That's right. It's
time for two men that at most one third of you here tonight or here to see, okay?
But I want you to come on and give a big round of applause for Carl Hamburger and producer Chris. You start moving, you're gonna get it. Hey.
If you start basing your life on the double-burst, you'd lost.
Be tripped.
Episodes.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling. Falling. Falling. Falling. Falling. Fucking thing sucks. Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. You know what I miss being this?
What are you talking about?
What a dick.
I'm the one who should apologize.
Cous, Couseru, Couseru.
Slapperoonie.
It's show time. W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P.
Hello, Rupert, this is Kusa Rooz. Welcome to another live episode of Rally's Podcast.
The only show that's got the balls to come to Detroit, but only Ferndale.
to come to Detroit, but only Furndale. Big, thank you to Ted Williams, our special announcer with a golden voice tonight.
He will be announcing the show.
And actually Ted, I'm going to have you make the next announcement.
We have some more Rochesterians to bring up on to the stage.
Please introduce our next guest coming up.
Okay, just like me, ladies hail.
Where am I going?
Are you ready?
It's time to the stage for us to welcome the Rochester 2.
Here we go, the Rochester 2.
2,0. Okay, 0 and a guy whose favorite number is
Pi. Jen from the JINGLE's department. Oh, shit. Oh, no, no, no, we're out of order.
Just a fuck up. No, I can see you. I'm having a ball here.
Where did number three go?
I've got a ball.
Here we go, ladies and gentlemen.
Once again, that was old.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Y'all are going to have a fun day.
Hey, did you all see Pied?
That ignorant motherfucker got up there and dropped.
Thank God.
Thank God.
There we go.
Please welcome to the stage, two Rochester two, two comedy zero,
and a guy whose favorite number is Pi,
Jen from the Jingles department,
Tracker Andy and Vinnie Palimbo.
Come on over here.
That stuff here.
All right.
I love you.
Best of here. All right.
I love you.
This is going great.
Let's talk shit.
Guys, let's get right into it. I can't imagine anybody wanting to fucking pay and watch Carl Hebert and nobody.
With his stupid laugh, with no jokes, why would anybody want to watch and support that Spindless douche. The man makes a good point.
Ah.
Hi, lady K.
Got a show in Detroit, right?
Sold out.
For what?
What are you going to do?
The ice of doops. What are you going to do? The ice adopts.
What are you going to do to entertain people?
Chan, let's talk about staring Chan.
I can't decide who's sexier.
All right.
So we get into town and actually, Jen and I went to the baseball game.
We assaulted the buffet.
It was fantastic.
Thank you to Drew.
Yes.
And we get back from the Tigers game.
And these guys at the Airbnb are watching.
Stuttering John is doing an impromptu drunken podcast.
And we went, what is going on right now?
Was he trying to make our show amazing?
It took over our whole life.
It did.
But he all lasted us.
We all went to bed.
He was still podcasting.
He was still getting drunker.
We could keep up.
One by one, we dropped off.
We could not hang.
He was an energy vampire.
We were all just like eyes rolling back in our heads,
trying to watch 4 1,5 hours of abandoning a drunk mess on the internet. I loved it. So the best part is John
starts broadcasting and as soon as the superchats start coming in he can't stop.
This is his income. He has to do it. But he only had two beers. So he goes, oh, this
is going to be a problem. So this is the longest clip we have tonight, but it's worth it.
Because John decided to order more beers through an app.
And we get to watch him do this in real time.
Now I got to order some beer down to my last two.
Scalpel! Scalpel! Scalpel! I got to order some beer down to my last two. SCAY WITHOUT ME!
SCO!
That was really bad.
7-11.
7-11.
Now back.
Commence.
7-11.
Save in the... Now I'll take that.
The card, the card, go check out, and then you can ask,
well wait, do I, do I want some Staking cheese to keto
Pizza pepperoni, manoree jack chicken to kea
Buffalo chicken rolling there I'll subscribe to quarter pound quarter pound bite big bite from fucking 7 11 I'll pass
Give me my beer me in the US? No. It's not good. It might be me and my door. Play soda and good stuff.
Aim.
Scale!
Scale!
Do you accept Superchances payment?
Can I pay with it?
Come fast and stupid.
It's a no way to go through life. Alright, so the day before this, he had a podcast out that I found fascinating and unfortunately,
he's putting out so much content that I can't keep up anymore.
I'm trying to, I'm trying my best.
But just big thing is how ugly I am.
He loves to talk about that.
So I have an example of him talking about just how hideous.
I am to look at.
Oh boy.
Just take that in.
Take that in.
With the bangs and the eyes and the four eyes and a snaggle teet.
Hideous. Idiot. Idiot.
All right, so I put together a little something for us to respond to
John Delegations that I have the ugly one in this scenario. But it all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, when he comes out. He is so unpleasant. It's so hard to look at him. He's like Jabba the Hutt without the money.
Yeah.
He killed him.
He killed him.
He's jobbing the hunt.
He's had friends.
A chicks.
Pretty hot for it, this layup, I remember.
Don't get me talking about Star Wars.
God damn it.
You got me again.
Andy, Andy, you checked out this show.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, we were all watching it, but I tasked Andy on my,
can you pull clips?
Can you please be the one that watches Stuttering John
for four and a half hours?
Yes.
I'm asking too much.
Yeah, OK.
Fair enough.
So it's all a highlight.
You can drop the needle on that.
And he's slurring every word that comes out of his mouth
for four hours.
He was drunk when he started, and he was super drunk when it ended.
But you get some beloved shatters in there that are trolling him really hard.
And you'll remember John bringing up the N word chasers on the Stern Show.
If you don't know, John on the Howard Stern Show was talking about these fireworks.
They used to sell on Long Island and he didn't use the end word.
He used a different one.
Right.
So this is kind of a chatter trying to get over on him with a clever name.
This is Edward Chaser and some funny little comments in the chat.
All right, Appsa.
Edward Chaser, it's about John.
He's called.
This social awkward mo as my
What does that mean? I don't know what the term means good. You should it. It's a it's an abhorrent term
Yeah, and DG is you know, yes, it's nothing John and DG made up this week to everybody know that this is big news going on
DG sucks that I wish his mom had an abortion.
Yeah, fuck he just said it.
Yes.
Abel Herod's okay, DG.
Is anybody glad that DG is back?
No.
He is a nothing.
So with you, he's a troll.
All right, so Vinnie, I did the creep off with you.
Yep. And it was Monday, the bills were playing Monday night.
I don't want to talk about it. Let's not bring it up.
What's up? What did I just say? I don't want to talk about it.
So I'm wearing my bills jersey on the creep off. It's Monday afternoon.
I got Monday night football. I'm excited. I got my little bills jersey on.
Maybe they'll put me in. So John is goofing on me And I'm like, what's the point? And I'm like, what's the point? And I'm like, what's the point? And I'm like, what's the point? And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point?
And I'm like, what's the point? And I'm like, what's the point? And I'm like, what's the point? And I'm like, what's the point? And I'm like, what's the point? It's, okay, ANFL jersey. But can it core a apple?
You dumb fuck.
I know you think that that's right, but it's not.
Oh, yeah.
I can't afford it, and then a fell jersey.
That's why I just bought this t-shirt.
He got me there.
So logic. You're saying to buy a t-shirt.
Your jersey is dumb.
I do love, though, that he picks apart the grammar.
This guy, I think that's a good way to burn people.
Pretty good.
A NFL jersey.
A NFL jersey, dummy.
That's his go-to.
He did. At least twice in the whole chain.
So he slams the bills because the bills did spoil her if you have it. A. A. A. Feltzzy, dummy. That's his go-to. He did. At least twice in the full screen.
All right, so he slams the bills because the bills did spoil her if you have it on your DVR.
They lost it over time to the Jets.
Well, I should say Josh Allen lost it over time to the Jets.
The bills were fantastic.
Stop talking about it.
So, as you guys know, all right, there's some fans here.
I like that.
As you guys know, John is a Giants fan,
so I put this fun little thing together
for all of us to enjoy.
Oh, wouldn't it be fun to see Lady Kay
watching his bills? Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Little Bill's jersey on during the Creek Boy. Aww.
What a shame, lady Kay.
Don't get your panties in a bunch.
Ow! The J's were humiliated at Sunday night. I guess the Cowboys suck it, John.
Both your team suck.
I know.
At least you made it to overtime.
I'm not above this.
I'm not going to be the bigger person.
I won't take the iron road.
I don't care.
Clearly.
This shouldn't.
Andy, let's get back to the Drunken Slabber Fest that was one
Saturday night.
This, in clip 4 here, he still cannot discern
what is happening in the thumbnail of the chat.
And DG is like desperately trying to get his attention
because if you can't see it from the audience,
somebody has put the Nazi SS as their identity in the chat.
And John is just like, uh, this, I love what this guy is saying,
and he's all about it.
$100.
Uh, no, that was a great job.
That was a great job.
That was a great job.
That was a great job.
That was a great job.
That was a great job.
That was a great job.
That was a great job.
That was a great job.
That was a great job.
That was a great job.
That was a great job.
That was a great job. That was a great job. That was a great job. That was a great job. That was a great job. That was a great job. It's a SS. There you go. I don't care. I don't care.
I don't care.
I guess it.
John's having such a great time.
He didn't realize he was a Nazi sympathizer.
Chromem's fat and stupid.
It's no way to go through life.
Well, I do enjoy how much fun they had together though.
Yes, you admit that's got to warm your heart, right?
They're pals. Yeah. They're pals.
Yeah.
They're buds.
I mean, somebody's got a baby's at John.
And that Joey C was there.
Oh, yeah, he's not so much.
So Joey C seemed like the smartest man in the world.
Yeah.
For once.
For once, Joey C's like, you guys are all big obnoxious,
weird hosts.
How does he look straight, man? Yeah, okay. Okay, shit together., weird hosts. I don't see the straight man in this.
Okay, shit together.
He's gonna scold them for a second.
No one should know what Joey sees, don't feel bad at the time.
Moving on.
So, John is talking about Kevin Brennan.
And I guess John knows some rumor that Kevin Brennan is going through a divorce.
I don't think that's a true thing.
John seems to think that's a true thing.
And so he's talking about that in this clip here. I don't know. I'm I hear you get
divorced. I don't know if that's true, but if you are, I know it's a painful thing.
Maybe that's why you're always so angry. But I've heard that you get divorced.
And Lady Kay, I've been talking to your brother. By the way, he looks like true. It's odd. It's really odd.
It's got some stories.
Holy shit, Brandt!
Where are you?
Yeah, really. Where are you, Brandt?
Is he right over here?
Dr. Steve's pointing him out for me.
Security.
Grant.
Fuck you!
What is going on over there, sir?
How dare you?
Talking to Senator John of all the stories,
and you're going to tell him?
Oh, no.
For a guy that hates Trump,
he's certainly doing the...
A lot of people are saying...
Yeah, no shit.
So, John's trying to scare me.
He does this all the time.
This is one of the best tactics that he likes to do.
And he even doubles down on this.
Oh, wait, I just...
Oh, I just... I could see...
I could see Carl Heenberger calling his brother...
Hey, he's talking to John!
I never call my brother.
Right, did I call you after I saw this? I never call my brothers.
Right, did I call you after I saw this?
Yes.
PS Thanksgiving is canceled.
I wasn't worried about...
I'll be in Florida, but I'm getting...
I'm kidding, I love my brother.
He's great, and I know for a fact he wasn't giving dirt to John.
If he was, it would be the troll job, which would be very funny.
Yes. Please start doing that.
Don't tell him about my first wife.
Please, don't tell him about that whole story.
Do you have a comment about that, John?
No.
No comment.
Fair enough.
All right, this is a fun thing.
So John accuses me of putting up his entire audiobook on our Patreon.
He's been saying this for a while now.
Yeah. And I went on his show and I told him that's not true, John, because A, why would I do that?
How would that benefit any of the people who are on our Patreon? I don't want to
want to hear his book. And B, I know that that could get me in trouble, because that would be
something that's copyrighted, not copyrighted, copyrighted? That is correct. I know it's this is things.
John being the wise man that he is is continuing to,
excuse me of this, but not in the best way.
Carl posted the MP3 in my book with no transformative commentary.
I had the photo shops. He did it, and then he removed it.
Now it's gone.
But it was there. I had the Photoshop.
You are fucked.
Who is writing this for him?
Am I writing this?
What does that even mean? Am I writing this for him?
I thought you guys worked this all out already though.
We did. We did work it out already.
So I thought that was kind of funny.
But then, somebody in the chat,
this is what's great about John Show, right now.
I keep bringing this up, but it's endlessly fascinating to me,
is that John has to sit there and read two to five dollars
super chats insulting him.
And that's what he does for a living now.
It's just getting salted to his face.
Not stop, but John's got some pretty good comebacks
as you're gonna hear in this example.
John, the fact that you were allowed to be teaching this kind
of you goes to show you how far our education system is falling, really?
Eh?
Really?
Trust me.
Trust me.
Trust me when I tell you, I am way smarter than you.
I am way smarter than you ever will be.
Okay?
Way smarter.
but it will be.
Okay.
Way smarter. Wait, wait, wait.
Especially vocabulary.
Way smarter.
Very, very, very, very way, way smarter.
Super, super smarter than you will ever be.
Settles it for me.
I was waiting on getting smarter,
but now I feel like I don't even need to,
because I'll never be as smart as John.
You got no shot.
So there's no reason to do that.
He's a ghoul.
Yuck.
All right.
One more, then I'll bring it back to Andy and the drunk podcast that he did.
So apparently John believes everything that he reads, people sat into him, even though
he should know better at this point.
Carl just posted on Reddit and said he's going to a docks to grow up on our kids at his live show in Detroit.
We can withdraw from Drew and Mike, you don't know.
You don't, if you don't, unblock him.
Oh good. So now he's going to go after a girl and her kids.
Okay, that's good to know. That's good to know.
Someone give me tape at that, please.
I thought kids were all blemets,
I mean Carl.
But they were all blemets.
All right, so is New Girl Friends kids names R?
I'm gonna tax the kids at the live show.
Oh, okay, I knew it.
I knew we would do that.
It's on limits.
All right, so the...
So smart.
Drunken live stream, it wouldn't be a classic,
stuttering John, drunk and live stream without a green screen fail.
Oh, good.
Clips six.
Perfect.
It kind of, not ruins it, but it ruins the ability to do that anymore. So now what you find, now what you're doing.
To do what?
To continue doing the show like we were doing.
Like we were doing it.
There's no way to do it anymore like we were.
There's just no way.
Why?
Because, man, these guys are going to be on anything is going to be true.
There's just not.
There's no reason to.
Oh no!
It's bad to the future!
He's been erased!
You gotta get your kids together, John!
If only-
Your parents, I mean your parents.
He was a ghoul and now he's a ghost.
So what?
I love him.
What else you got over there, it is.
Alright, one more. This is just like a silly Stutgio is gonna pop in for a fun light-hearted small talk with Joey C
Seven yes
Yeah, yeah, Joey you have a killing buddy
Save me. Oh, save me, oh, tell me, see. No.
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
Oh!
LAUGHTER
All right, he won me over with that.
He said that.
That's really good.
The band is an entertainer.
He's an entertainer, I don't care what anybody says.
Um...
It's got a theater full of people laughing at it right now.
Or with them, maybe, with them.
I want to say. So I went on the Drew and Mike show this week,
and yeah, it was fantastic.
Yeah.
Laila was in my lap half the time,
and she didn't pee or poo, so that was cool.
I felt like that was a win.
Lucky.
Yep.
And what I was playing for them, if you guys heard it,
was a lot of Southern John's John's been writing songs lately,
and he's making up songs off the coffees.
He's really just killing it.
So when he was drunk, someone referred to him
as Suthering John Melodies.
That might stick.
He's got a lot of Melodies this guy.
I mean, there's Fanny.
Fanny.
Fanny.
Fanny. Patty, Patty, Patty, Patty.
Why do you eat so much?
It's a pretty good song.
I can't believe you memorized that.
Stuck in my head so long.
So John when he's drunk grabs the guitar,
I'm glad that his untuned guitar
is sitting right next to him without towers.
This has been a good boost for his shell.
He didn't do this back in the day, so it's fun.
And John's got a new song for us here. I'm stirring, John, melodies.
Dummy.
He's the pets.
Gentlemen, I appreciate and ladies.
I appreciate you guys staying with this as long as you did,
because at a certain point I was scrubbing through the show going,
how long is this gonna last?
We can keep watching this.
But thank you, John, for making our first segment of the live show and to draw it.
Challenge goal.
Fan fucking test, I appreciate that very, very much.
All right, so, Ted Williams with the golden voice. Do you have our next announcement?
We're gonna have these fine folks back up on stage later. Shout out this guy with the
no-factured in the box. Yes. All right, let's see if Ted testing one two three okay hey listen listen listen Ted's gonna be
just a little late when he get out of here here I am okay ladies and gentlemen
are you ready come on let's give it up three guys that Stuttery John has never Please welcome to the show Mark Brandon and Drew Lea.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, the three wise men.
It's the Golden Voice.
Tad is killing it for us.
Thank you, Drew.
You're welcome.
How do you follow Stuttering John?
My God.
This is terrible.
I have good news for you.
Put on your headphones there, Drew.
Thank you.
Get up your foot, regret.
Well, I'll tell you how you follow Stuttering John with more Stuttering John.
I told you guys this on the Drew and Mike show that I was going to show you guys John
with his band on Cognol Brian in 1994.
You'll be fine.
There's another set of headphones right there.
Those aren't working for you. All right. Boom.
Nothing's happening up here.
Don't drop your broke something already.
Nothing to see here.
Shut up.
Yeah.
So we were talking about guitar souls with Jim Bentley
last week and this week.
So I thought maybe you guys are big rock fans.
Sure.
I want to get your guys take.
I'll get out of the way.
Or you guys take on Southern Johns Guitar Solo Live.
I go to the brine, this is the guy who said he's a better guitarist than I am, hands down,
not even close.
So I just want to see what you guys think about his style here and the way that he hits
these notes. I thought it was incredible, it was great.
We're off to a bad start.
I said I wouldn't say anything, but I will.
So we're going to watch the rest of the solo.
I want you to notice the position that he's in.
On the neck, it's the 15th fret, whatever.
I'm not showing off.
He will not leave this position for the rest
of the guitarist alone.
I've watched a lot of guitarists at my day.
Normally they know more than two positions,
but this is where John's at.
Two. This is where Johnson took. I mean, why don't you focus on the negative? I mean, the good thing is we couldn't see
his face the whole time. He is growing his hair out again for that very reason.
But what a songwriter. I mean, Adam's got a problem with his nose. It's still in my head today. It's got to be something.
Yes, you're right.
Adam's got a problem with his eyes.
All right, what's move on?
We were checking out Amarada, Emily Redigowski, has a podcast,
and she recently had a guest on who is of course our friend
Ireland Baldwin.
Yes.
Yes.
Riveting.
Lovely ladies.
You have a herald.
Relatable.
He's famous.
Alright, here's how it starts off and I'll pass it over to Mark and the gang to figure
out what we want to play.
But I want to start off with the intro here.
Welcome Ireland to podcast. You are a model of philanthropists,
soon to be mother, congrats,
and entrepreneur and yes, a nepoton.
And we're gonna talk about all of it.
So thank you so much for being here.
Thank you for having me.
Remember when the word entrepreneur used to mean something, I can so frustrated that how
many entrepreneurs are in the audience today?
I remember when an Etsy page is an entrepreneur now.
I just love the energy they bring right out of the gate.
This show is brutal. What are you talking about? I was hooked. I couldn't stop listening.
They set the tone right away because she announces that she's pregnant and that she doesn't want to be on this podcast.
She doesn't want to talk to anybody and she doesn't want to fucking be on this video either.
Well, she says that she can't breathe when she talks, so she can't talk.
Good guess.
Is that common with pregnancy?
Hey, do you want to be a guest at my show?
Well, I can't breathe or talk, but sure.
Why not?
That's cut zero by the way.
Oh, do you want to hear that?
Yeah, it looks like it landed on her.
I'm ruined it, but I'm sorry.
When I talk, I'll just give up on conversation
altogether talking to someone.
I'm like, I can't breathe. I got I got to go the most amazing thing is she did not give up on the conversation with Emily Radikowski
That is the one you give up on because there is nothing interesting coming out of Emily's mouth. She's trying to just try to
George Floyd this entire interview just out of it didn't work
Didn't get her out of it too soon
Too soon, but to talk all that time without breathing, that's incredible.
That's incredible, yeah, that's a talent.
It is.
What do you got, Jerry?
What do you want to talk about?
Did you want, usually, yes, for a cut that sort of...
Oh, yeah, what kind of...
What kind of...
What are the shows?
We have notes, I have notes.
I see that.
I print it up, Drew.
It's the same notes.
I think cut seven, the question just sort of gives you a pretty good idea, which this
podcast is all about.
Cut seven?
Yeah, I was going to ask you, what is your relationship to your body right now?
Pretty relatable stuff.
Wait, you don't think about that all the time, Drew?
Like, I mean, I do, because my body hates me in Franklin.
I fucking hate this body, too.
It's like, hate hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.
We get along great.
We really don't like each other in any regard.
Well, we could listen to the answer,
but instead, let's move on to cut eight, where, well,
I'll just play to cut.
Again, very relatable.
Like, I am one of the most body, just
morphic people that, like, a lot of people have ever talked to in their lives.
They're just like, what, you know?
I can't imagine how shallow the people I hang out with are
that we never talk about body-dismorphia.
I mean, it sounds like it's something that comes up all the time.
Well, I think people respond like what?
Not because of her body-dismorphia.
It's because she's a boring person to talk to.
And she's not interesting at all.
She's a drip and I would just sit there and go,
like what?
She's talking about.
Give me out of here, I can't breathe.
All right, so this is fun because,
as you know, her parents are pretty famous.
And like Baldwin, Conbasinger.
Yeah, that's right.
Pretty famous people.
And this poor girl, I mean, she wanted to do so many things
with her life and just being a nipple baby made it hard.
Yes, I was born into it.
I wanted to be a doctor for a very long time.
And I thought I was going to be a vet.
I thought I was going to be a doctor.
I thought I was going to do a lot of things
before I settled and decided to model
because modeling was sort of something that just was so easy.
I have the same career path.
I really did.
The age old battle.
Doctor, model, that one.
Doctor Steve, how close were you to becoming a model?
We are short on models in this world.
Yeah.
Doctor Steve, did you ever consider being a nepot baby? So there's a little lack of commitment there.
I love donating to models without borders, right?
Where do you get models out everywhere?
Right.
Maybe great work.
Well, Marui, we bombed all those models in Afghanistan,
and we had a poll charge for that.
That was brutal.
All right, so I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, relatable. She's like, well I was going to study really hard for eight years straight and then someone was like, here's a few bucks.
Oh, I just put out a bikini instead. All right. Never mind.
What great entrepreneur goes through college? I mean Zuckerberg dropped out.
Good boy.
I'm saying it Zuckerberg. Good boy.
I'm a musk and Baldwin.
After watching this, I have to say,
Eleg Baldwin might have been onto something
all those years ago.
I'm gonna let you know the power of deal
about what a river will take you really hard.
You want me to talk with you?
Talk with me, okay?
Okay.
It's the origin of her body dysmorphia.
She was 11 there.
Can you imagine what was where she got?
Oh yeah, let's listen to this clip where Alec doesn't know her age.
You don't have the brain.
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
It means it's a disease.
It has a human being.
I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old.
You're a seven years old.
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
What does it mean? What does it mean? What does it mean? What does it mean? What does it mean? the end of the end of what you do with you have
the last time
she has not
the last time
I'm going to defend
the thing is
the ages change every single
year
she was both 11 and 12
you're right
and people ask me how old my kids are and I have to take a loving and 12, you're right. Technically, people ask me, oh, my kids are, and I have to take a beat and think about,
I don't know, when was the birthday?
I have no idea.
Here's the good news, they don't actually
care about the answer to this right now.
No, I'm just thinking about it.
But a common thing that happens during this podcast
is you see, bald, when complain about getting bullied,
cyber bullied, when in reality, the only bully I've ever known
to bully her is her father, who's also murdered somebody once. He really did.
Google it.
Can we get into the nepotism?
Yes, please.
Whatever it is.
It turns out you know it was so easy to quit med school and model for big money but then
it turns out the modeling thing isn't so great either.
That she becomes a victim in the modeling world if you want to go to cut five, this is tough being a nipple baby.
And I think you get like this really jaded perception when you're going up
against girls and I'm in a casting. When I know that the girls to my right and
left are well over far more hardworking, qualified, gorgeous, gotten the right,
you know, it's a business, it's a job.
They got in the shape.
Check.
They did their hair, they did this, they did that,
they looked apart, you know?
But I still would get the job.
But you didn't have to take the job.
Didn't have to do it.
You didn't have to be the victim as it turns out.
My favorite part of that is the very end
where Rhettikowski's just staring You're like, you heard that?
Fuck bitch.
I lost that on jobs because of you.
Well hold on a second.
Can I just say poor Ireland?
Do you guys not realize how hard it is being born into a wealthy and famous family?
Obviously not.
No, no.
That's the only thing I'll difficult this was for her.
No, everything is difficult for her.
I mean the body just more for her. No, everything is difficult for her. I mean, the body just morphia, the, oh wait,
there's another, she has another syndrome
that I've never heard of before.
I go to cut eight when you hear about,
I think it's, where's the cut eight,
where she talks about another problem she has?
We played eight, yeah, that's the body.
Okay.
What's your relationship?
I think number nine, I think nine is another issue
that she had, right?
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I was asking the question. Yeah, don't get the idea. I'm just organized
I was that journey of kind of figuring out that it wasn't for you and I know that you are six years free of
Interox and Williamia. Yeah
What what has that journey been like and how did you I feel like it?
Must be parallel to kind of discovering yourself as well?
Would you like to be tortured with the answer? I don't think so. I don't even know what the question was. I hate the word journey
Yeah, I fucking hate that word. Don't stop believe it. Don't stop believe it's a great song
But ask me something about their fucking journey
So pretentious. Okay. Does anybody know what the her journey of bulimia was parallel to she said it was parallel to something
I honestly did miss it or can't figure it out. Why don't journey is usually a positive thing like on the bachelor
But a journey to anorexia
I had to bring it up
That's the next segment for crying out loud.
All right, so I just want to point out
Emirata is on point with the vocal fry.
She is killing it with us.
Being 16 and not having the maturity and the perspective
that it takes to really be able to handle that.
And I mean, even full adults don't do a great job,
but at least you can be like, I know who I am.
I understand that this is a reflection of these people
who are saying this and not of me.
I mean, people are traumatized for life just by being bullied
in school when the entire world is essentially bullying you.
Can't imagine how traumatizing that was.
Ribbit, who?
LAUGHTER I just realized the other affliction that comes up markets,
it's cut six.
I've never heard of this affliction before.
I'm sure it added to your imposter syndrome.
Now, I've heard of a lot of plagues, maladies, afflictions.
I've never heard of imposter syndrome.
So I mean, these people are talking about things.
I'm saying I've never heard of. She's a little suffered from, these people are talking about things. I'm see, I've never heard of.
She's a little suffered from.
It should be a rich little disease, right?
Well, yeah, it could be.
Well, the reason why she suffered from this is,
I'm gonna see myself out.
Yeah.
I'm gonna see myself out.
I'm gonna try it.
Please do.
The reason why she suffered from this is because
she was surrounded by attractive women.
And she felt like she didn't belong.
And she was right.
Right.
She was right. She actually is the answer.
Maybe she's going to bed school.
Yes.
You should actually.
Call, do you have a lot of cuts?
It's all you, buddy.
Oh, take it away.
Do you guys hear about the baby shower?
Yeah.
Yeah, they went to a strip club.
I had one similar to this.
It was how?
Oh, baby shower?
Just like this one. Really? It's funny because she said she was how? Oh, baby shower?
Just like this one.
Really?
It's funny because she said she doesn't like the traditional baby shower because she
doesn't like to sit and be looked at and while she's opening presents, which, you know,
model they hate being looked at.
Right.
So she had the strip club baby shower where she proceeded to get on stage and have eight strippers
dance for her, she said.
My mom wouldn't even, she didn't even know what to do with the money.
Like she, first of all, she threw a crumbled dollar bill, like as fast and as hard as she
could, she like just yanked it because she was so scared.
Okay, this is Kim Basinjou's best acting job because this is the woman who comfortably
experienced double penetration on the casting couch, but she can't handle a strip club.
Hold on a second, Drew.
You had to explain to me.
She's usually on the other end of getting the money.
D.P. was the one on each side or was it two out the same side?
I didn't understand what this D.P. was.
One on each side.
Okay.
Go ahead and have a third one.
I mean, she is a lady after all. Okay.
I don't know.
Is it possible that Kim Basinger was that frightened
of a strip club?
I really have a hard time believing that.
I also thought it was nice that she said her,
was it her Christian friend?
She made sure that all the Christian family members,
because we know as Steven, he's a big hunkie.
It's Christian.
All those people,
weren't, but they were not invited.
That's nice.
I know.
Great family.
Anyway, the pregnancy was tough because not only could
you not breathe, but let's see, very lonely.
Cut to.
Pregnancy's being pregnant very lonely.
Nobody cares about you.
You are the only one who knows what's going on with your body.
And you have to translate those things
understand if it's normal, not normal.
And it just, even if you tell your friends who have kids or whatever,
it still just feels like you're on a journey completely by yourself.
Totally, yeah.
Totally, yeah.
Another journey, another, there's a lot of journeys going on.
Yeah.
But, haven't there been other pregnant women?
No.
I mean, is it really really that alone?
Every journey is individual to the woman itself.
And I mean, when you have a, you know,
a doctor's spark.
I actually, I should have left him.
When five attempt joke joke.
When famous rich women get together
and complain about their lives,
I actually enjoy a point of fact.
I can relate to it.
It makes sense to me.
They're attractive.
They have money in the bank.
I'm like, yeah, I get it.
No, they have so many fucking problems. I don't know how they get by.
I really don't like it. I can't imagine how they do it.
Well, I have a fun clip right here because apparently, L.A. shoot up Ireland and spit her out.
And so she has moved to Portland. And she talks about that here.
Great life decision.
So, you're kind of in Portland, you're pregnant.
You're kind of in Portland?
How are you kind of in Portland?
It goes, she's in Portland.
You're missing the point here.
I'm Ranna.
It's not the case.
So I just want to point out how shallow all your land
actually is. She just sucks in every way.
Shaving my head, I wish I had long hair looking back.
And that would be the one thing I think that would make me feel
a little bit more like womanly and maternal and just like in my photos
that I wanted to do pregnancy photos.
And I'll like start historically crying.
And Andre's just like,
what is it?
And I'm like, I don't look like Ronald McDonald, you know?
Yes, as she said, she wouldn't recommend shaving your head before you get pregnant, but
you don't know when you get pregnant, so...
Or just don't shave pads.
Just a case.
I mean, are there pregnant women running around with shaved heads everywhere?
I've never really seen men now. Not really.
Rust and PCNATO, Connor.
We hardly do need to shoot.
Shoot, you have a drop card.
Again?
Call!
Do you have a drop for God to shoot over there?
Oh, yeah, I can get that one.
All right.
I'm ready.
I think we should probably talk about Shade O'Catter right now,
because we're all still grieving.
Sure.
It's tough. I'm asking too much, Mark's trying to get that. Yes, you are.atter right now because we're all still grieving
My eski too much mark
My bad easy does that was computer today that sausage fingers. It's hard to type on these me too
Yeah
I quit I think that's all our clips. Did you guys have another clip?
No, I just both. Oh, okay, no, and we no, and we got clips zero. If not, you have clips, Carl.
Do you know how many things you want to play on this?
I think we covered her maladies pretty well.
I think we did. I think we did also.
Energy.
Play number 10. I don't know what number 10 sounded like.
Oh. It'll be a surprise.
I don't know what it is. I don't know what 10, I don't know what number 10 sounded fun. Oh. It'll be a surprise.
I don't know what it is.
I don't know what it is.
Sometimes I was like forced to be alone,
and I was forced to get help for a lot of these problems.
That's kind of when a lot of the eating disorder
stuff surfaced.
So basically, you clear up a problem
and get another more problem?
I mean, I think she always has to have a problem.
Yes.
It does save that way.
Well, I think she might be my favorite Baldwin though.
Right?
No.
Say it's out there.
What about the guy that hit on Trudy?
Oh, that's Stephen.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
Oh, I love Daniel.
I mean, Daniel like to get nude and do crack, right?
Yeah.
And be bloody in sweets.
That was a negative news.
That was in New York York and Alex a murderer
that's right Alex the only murder to
percent Google it all right I want to
thank brandon and mark for coming up on
the stage
Oh
Is that thunder is it raining outside and once and for all it's the band with their golden boys with you. Give it up for Drew Lane and everybody y'all.
There you go, come on now.
Let's back off the mic.
And now it's time for are you ready a man who sells kidneys on the black market and
a guy who's giving free, fresh exams in the parking lot, y'all.
Please welcome to the stage Dr. Steve and Eric Zay.
All right. Fuckin' pop it.
Union strong!
Oh, that was lukewarm.
I thought I'd get a pop for that.
Fuck those guys.
You didn't see the poll they put on Twitter?
I thought Chumie was walking behind me or something.
All right, well, come on.
Now I just brought you guys out.
And what I'm going to do is I'm going to make you listen
to a song.
Because I announced that there is a Carl Song parody contest
that's going right now.
And we got a couple great submissions.
This first one coming in from Tony Musgrat.
And he has a song called Weird Dork North of New York. Oh, I've been spending my days being a prick.
Hiding my marriage with producer Chris, so I'll just nurse my beer and take tiny sips
and hide in my basement and dress up like a chicken's amazing.
What a food doctor does.
Make regular feet out of mangled old clothes.
Wish I could floss my teeth, but I dumb gave up, oh, I did.
Yeah, I did.
Living in the dabble verse.
With no review girls. This weird dark North of New York
John knows you only wanted him to sleep at your house.
He would drink all your beer.
He would spit and he drool.
He bring his pet rope and he beat you at pool.
But your felt is all green and you think you're not poor.
But you're loser dog North of New York
It's perfect
It's perfect
Yeah
Tony Muscran
Tony
Tony
I captured my essence there with that one
I thought it was Oliver, right?
It's pretty fantastic, I guess
It's not Adam's got a problem with his nose, but very good.
Now, we did cringe of the week last week,
and I pointed out that there was a trailer for the Osports.
They have a podcast. The Osports are back, everybody.
You're all like, where are the Osports?
Okay, please tell me the fucking kids aren't part of this. Oh, what?
Oh, they most certainly are.
Oh, wait, they're like 46 now.
I guess I shouldn't call them the kids.
Jack's running the show.
Yes, Jack's running the show.
Kelly is 38.
And I'm going to play your clip first here, Eric.
Your first clip, because this is what I could not take
my eyes off of.
The entire time I was watching this podcast,
I you picked up on the exact same thing The entire time I was watching this podcast, I you picked up an exactly thing I did.
I was like, in shock.
What's going on with Kelly?
Okay.
First of all, the Osborne's podcast is back.
It's gonna be back.
Well, permanently now, and we're starting something
called Osborne Media House.
What does that mean?
What does that mean, Osborne Media?
So what we're gonna do is is we're going to create a...
Good channel.
Yeah, it's basically our own web channel,
where people can get all the content we own,
which is the original Osborne series,
which hasn't been seen since it went off the air.
And a bunch of other stuff that we've, you know,
mother and father have collected over the years, show wise,
and then everyone's podcast is gonna be housed on there.
Kelly, what is your podcast gonna be about?
Alright, now!
What's in this head? Okay.
There was a bad The Fridge.
What happened to the bad The Fridge, Kelly?
She looks exactly like him.
Yes.
That is unbelievable.
It's crazy.
It's yours to say makeup, too.
It's not happening to me.
I was like to cover a diary of a madman.
Yes.
Holy shit. And she just had a ton of work done. I thought diary of a madman. Yeah, it's fully shit.
And she just had a ton of work done.
I thought she got a new head, and she still looks like Ozzy.
Yeah, really.
What's interesting about this, guys,
is I don't have an example of it here.
There's a million things we can talk about,
but they have these awkward ads that they run.
And when the ads hit Kelly, looks different.
And I don't know if they recorded them
like right after the work, but that was all very, very strange.
One of the things about the show though
is with Jack running it, he's trying to be in charge.
He turns to Kelly, says, hey, tell me about your podcast.
And she's become not only looking like Ozzy,
but she bumbles around.
Yes. I have this clip where she explains what her podcast, because all of them
have their own podcast on this network. Yeah. If you remember on the old
Osborne show, Ozzy, you know, the fun of the show was Ozzy running into shit
and he can't talk. That's her now. We will be talking about everything. I don't
want anything to be off limits.
OK.
I love Eddie's show where nothing is off limits.
Finally, finally a podcast or nothing is off limits.
Translation.
She has no idea she's even supposed to do a podcast.
Jack is running the show.
But I want to go back in that first clip.
There was a on the wide shot before Jack asked Kelly about what her show
was gonna be about.
On my cut too, she's struggling
with those fucking headphones.
Just the same way Ozzy would struggle with anything.
My cut too, curl.
-♪ The light in the wind, now we're the crackin' the sky. -♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah She doesn't know how they work. No. She was confused by what she's like. They're so jumping out of these goddamn things.
Black magic.
This is the only show where you have arguably the greatest,
one of the greatest performers on the planet.
And these two assholes market up with all this bullshit.
It's so frustrating.
Oh, greatest performer on the planet?
All right, I have a clip.
Let's try to figure out what we're going to do. I'm going to do a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a And these two assholes market up with all this bullshit. It's so frustrating.
Oh, greatest performer on the planet.
All right, I have a clip.
Let's try to figure out what language Ozzy is speaking.
Okay, great.
Let's see if anybody can translate this nonsense.
I have my sprint event.
I have my sprint event.
I don't have my minivan.
I think that that was on my soul.
The sprint event.
You know, one you have.
Yeah.
What was the one you suck out, you know?
As the kids know what he's saying!
That's the amazing brothers like you have,
now I know, you're right.
What's interesting though, if you went back 40 years,
he sounded the same, that, okay?
Maybe it's the accent that's sorry, Bioff.
I have another example before we move on from this,
of Ozzie Jiparish. He should be out of podcast
He's good to be proud of his sugar. I was pretty sure that's right. Yeah
Damn he's fluid and Esperanto
He's young. We're listening to two that's the sad thing exactly in the family. He's sitting and worth listening to too. That's the sad thing.
Exactly.
In the family.
He's sitting there trying to talk about,
I want to be a war,
Bill won't block seven,
and they're like, yeah, shut up, dad,
we want to talk about fucking minivan.
Yeah, so Jack is going around the room asking
what everyone's podcast is going to be about
because they're trying to tease all these shows.
You can get on their new network,
their new media company that they're watching.
And so let's find out what Ozzy's show was gonna be about.
Oh, am I the announcer?
I've done to it.
Oh, he's still.
I'll set that up to that and I'll go, what now?
Yeah.
I know, yeah.
I don't do any girls.
I got interested in girls.
No, that's not what I'm asking.
It's just, it's, but, you know, one word. I don't interest the new girls. No, that's not what I'm asking you.
But one word, it's been my life.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know how to do it.
I can't melt till it's up because of you.
I mean, I'll buy the lower record, you know.
I know, I've all been successful.
All right, so everyone, get out your phone.
Go to your favorite podcast.
You gotta hit subscribe.
Toss your eyes for it to do, shall it?
It's gonna be fan-fucking-tastic.
I can't wait.
That makes Dick Clark on New Year's Eve at the end.
Some pretty lucid, doesn't it?
Oh, yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, it's getting eight. 12. 62.
Down she goes.
Pike.
Ryan.
That's your seed.
What do you want to talk about, buddy?
What's your knock-nose, sis?
Well, yeah, I mean, he has Parkinson's disease.
He's knocked about that.
Yeah. He has Parkinson's disease. He's right about that. Well, I think this is even more interesting,
is my Steve V and then I'll comment on it.
27 and 50.
Why does dogs do that often wonder?
What?
Why does dogs look good?
Well, people make our souls.
So yeah, but not every day.
Well, some people do.
Yeah, that's Facts Mom.
What? Facts?
It's a fact to me.
It's not a matter of fucking nature, I think.
OK.
I guarantee you, you've looked at my soul.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I guarantee I'm fucking up.
No.
OK.
So, so, Azy is snorted ants.
He's bit the head off of bat, drank his own piss,
he won't go a mile with it, and oh shit.
Did you fuck it up?
We know where you were going.
He won't go within a mile as Sharon's asshole.
God dammit, bring it home Steve.
Fuck, you were right there damn it, bring it home, Steve. You're right there.
Hey, Eric's saying he is a jamaat serious ex-sub.
How much does that piss you off?
That was still worth it though.
National Radio Show host, Dr. Steve.
We're dancing, everyone.
Come on, it was the rally that was the best part.
Flush it, yes.
You did fine. Try another all right
So I'm gonna play the next clip after that. Okay, well because that transitions into one of those adries
That's correct. Well this one Ozzy makes an indecent proposal to Sharon
Then Jack saves the day with a product. We will all need after hearing this We lick my soul tonight.
Shut up!
I feel romantic!
Outside of going to rehab, I have a baby.
Oh my god, no!
This episode is brought to you by Bluetooth.
It actually might be one of my new favorite companies
seeing us just about to get married.
So I was thinking about Sharon Osborne's asshole
and Blutu is not working.
Sorry.
I know Opie says it works, but can't get that out of my head.
Wow.
That's intense.
We need a palette cleanser for fuck's sake.
Ozzy, look, and Sharon's looking great, by the way.
She does.
Are you a bull-hurt guy?
All right.
So, Ozzy's talking about how he just won a Grammy for Best Rock album.
Everybody has the new Ozzy album, right?
Oh, yeah.
Fucking drama.
I'm gonna scut, uh, track one.
Yeah, that's great.
I actually saw Aussie perform one of his new songs
when I was at the LA Rams game last year.
I know, I was there for the bills.
The bills won. It was great.
Boom! The bills!
What? I'll dare you.
And poor Aussie, they had to bring him out in one of the stages He's great. Boom! The bills! What? I'll dare you.
And poor Ozzy, they had to bring him out in one of the stages and then raise him up
at an elevator to stand there and hold onto the microphone so they didn't fall over and
then they lowered it back down and dragged him off.
So Ozzy's got a tough thing going on right now.
He's a Grammy winner and he can't gig with his amazing elbow.
I mean, I got the award.
I couldn't do a gig right in an on-working torch. winner and you can't gig with this amazing album. I mean, I got the award.
I couldn't do a gig right in the on-working towards it.
I'm being vocal.
Uh.
Uh.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
What?
What?
Just go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
What?
Who takes a sip in the middle of a sentence?
John.
Yeah. Skull. Sort of a sentence? John! Yeah.
Skull!
Sort of a producer Chris.
Remember we were coming up here earlier?
Yeah.
Alright.
So, what the show format is,
is they go around and they ask everyone what they've been up to the last five years
since they've had a show.
And, uh, spoiler, nothing.
So it turns out that Ozzy, not in the greatest of health,
Dr. Steve, turns out, yeah, his lifestyle
hasn't made him a very healthy 74-year-old man.
Correct.
And this literally sounds like hanging out with my parents.
I don't know why they think this is a show.
This is depressing. And I don't want to they think this is a show, this is depressing
and I don't want to hear about any of the shit that they're talking about out here. Oh wait, hold on,
I'm not grabbing the clip correctly. It's just going cool. No daddy, we called the
guy that was taking care at the time of Aussie's Parkinson diagnosis. So we called him and we said
of Aussie's Parkinson diagnosis. So we called him and we said, no, OK, let me back up here.
The hospital, he went to see the Sinai emergency room
when we called the ambulance.
And they, because that's the nearest hospital to where we live.
So they took him into Cedars emergency room.
It was a Friday night.
It was absolutely packed.
So where, the ambulance was on the road.
People.
Oh, yeah, Nana?
Wow.
Scrap Grips can be OK, did it?
Yes.
Oh, my God.
It gets fruit all these conversations.
It takes so long.
Yes.
Jesus.
There's nothing without Ozzy.
He is everything.
So they're suckling off of him five years later,
and he had little left five years ago.
Correct. Sounds pretty hopeless to me.
It's embarrassing. This is the Prince of Darkness. There's a whole
generations of people who just think this guy is a bumbling,
stuttering fool now. Can you imagine if he did a show with Mitch McConnell?
Other fucker.
That I would tune in for.
For sure. All right, so they're complaining. So what Ozzy did is, I guess he fell on his face.
And the way he explains this, there's no way
this is what happened.
He goes, he went, got up from bed,
went to the bathroom, it was dark.
He went to get back into bed,
missed the bed, and face planted.
Who gets into their bed?
Face first.
Never heard of such a thing.
But this guy missed his bad face, but never put his arms out, smash his face.
So then they went to the doctor and they performed surgery.
And I guess they're not happy with the surgery that they got.
And they're threatening a lawsuit.
Yeah, I mean, like this guy's fucking clicking his heels down to Prada.
And fucking, you know, guy's fucking clicking his heels down to Prada.
And fucking, you know, dad's having to cancel tours.
It's ridiculous.
Well, we can have him as the doctor that fucked Ozzy up.
Yeah.
What?
OK.
OK.
I think Ozzy's the guy who fucked Ozzy up.
I think the surgeon's going to win that lawsuit.
Oh, Jesus.
Carl, he doesn't listen as well.
He's not listening.
Like that was a perfect example of it.
But he asked questions about things that have already been revealed like five seconds earlier. And the great example of that is my cut three of
Ozzie not paying attention about Kelly's podcast. She wants to do a podcast
with her buddy Daniel who's the singer. We're still in development but it
will be with my best friend Daniel who is absolutely hilarious. He's a very
talented actor and I also think
he should be a musician because he can sing. You could call it KD. Maybe that would be fun
actually. KD. Yeah because Kellyan Daniel Sainte. Yeah.
Did she say that they have a podcast in development?
Yes, it's in development. What the fuck does that mean?
Well, what you want to do when you're promoting something is not
have it readily available yet.
I see. I'm telling you, this was all a surprise to her.
She just walked in, they had three tables,
and the microphone, she just walked in.
This is all new to her.
So she explained what she's been up to,
drugs and alcohol.
So they sent her to rehab, and she's out of rehab,
and then she got knocked up, and now she has a kid.
And all she wants to do is talk about her kid.
These are the worst conversations ever.
You got grandma and grandpa complaining about their ailments.
You got these people who have kids.
They want to talk about their babies.
And all the shit that's going on with them.
And so this is Kelly's talk about her son.
Always fascinating material.
They're great.
The love explosion that you feel when you have your own kid.
Yeah.
It's the most incredible feeling in the entire world.
It made me cry, and I know it was hormonal.
For like the first month of his life,
I couldn't look at him without just tearing up
because I loved him so much.
And he's just, he's magic.
Oh, boring.
Boring.
Boring. Chris, I had the same thought right there.
We're overlapping boring right there.
I've never seen anyone that loved their own baby that much.
I know, finally.
So, I was wondering, who knocked this monster up?
Who the fuck got near D?
That's gross.
It turns out it's a guy named Sid Wilson from Slip-Not.
Oh, oh.
Oh, I get the Slip-Not.
The same thing.
I get up.
I guess Slip-Not said Elphinsales are down.
And he's like, I need some of that Ozzy money.
Fucked up was he.
Oh my god.
So I went a fast forward to the end of the show.
And Kelly does not want to be there.
And like you said, I think she was surprised she was
even there in the first place.
She didn't know what was going on.
So she explained she's ready to go.
I think.
Can I go back to my baby now?
You can go back to your baby now.
We're going to wrap this up.
She's Aussie saying goodbye for now.
Kelly, why would you think other people would want to watch this if you
don't want to be that? Don't you realize that you saying can we fuck it at this
thing now makes it seem like maybe it's not that interesting? Wow. Yeah. It's
a great look. Kind of like Jimmy Fallon trying to leave Strike Force 5.
Yeah, texting the other people on the show. I'm done. Well, Carl, we got to wrap this up.
Yeah, we do, Eric.
That's true.
Dr. Steve, I want to talk to you about these surgeries
that Ozzie had.
OK.
He's got some back problems.
They want to sue the surgeon.
Sure.
You know a thing or two about medicine.
I know you're a model.
Correct.
Could you tell us a little bit of it?
A little bit of it. Could you tell us a little bit about in a model? Can you tell us a little bit about what Aziz
going through and maybe your assessment of it? Everyone loves this part of the
show and Dr. Steve gets really angry. The series. Yeah.
Let's get into it. When I get to be a bummer.
So this is a success of spinal surgery is usually around 60 to 80 percent.
Then if you have a second one, it's about 30 percent,
15 for the third, and about 5 percent,
if you have a fourth procedure.
So this is a risky procedure under any circumstances.
What have you been furiously abusing drugs
in alcohol for a long time?
Would that make it worse?
What if?
Yeah, what if?
Hypothetical.
And then he's got the Parkinson's,
so when he fell, I'm sure, you know,
Kar was making fun of him, but I probably couldn't
put his hands out because that's part of the Parkinson's car.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that it was a fun of people, but it's a live show.
Ah, I fell on his face, fucking dick.
I thought I'd look my hair down.
He's got Parkinson's, he can't help himself.
Yeah.
Did you guys see Drew Whipping earlier?
Haha, his hips fucked up.
Let's come push some people down the stairs
in a wheelchair, it's great.
Ha!
Kara, what a fuck.
All right, so, that just seems like you're track seven.
Do I have to say such a benevolent show?
I know, right?
We're changing things up here in Ferndale, for us.
Yeah, there's a lightening up.
It's a shock track.
So this is fun because they've decided
they're gonna be a media empire.
The Osborne.
They've got some ideas.
Yeah, they got some ideas.
They need to start hiring.
I know just the guy for this job.
I think we ought to do Osborne news, like e-news.
Osborne news.
We should have-
Wait, do we get to make up bullshit then, just like every other news network?
No, we should have somebody that works for us with camera in the street
and we should have our representative go to Premiers, get on the red carpet, ask loads of questions.
Yeah, let's stuttering John now.
They're looking to hire a stuttering John.
Stuttering John!
Are you hearing this?
They need you.
The pay is zero, but whatever.
What's the difference at this point?
What a match.
I like how this has to gone from a podcast to like a brainstorming session.
Like spitballing shit.
What if we were entertaining for a minute or two?
Wow, that's a good one.
Let's look at the point.
Yes.
All right, so they're having these conversations,
and they're talking about their lives and everything else.
And then Ozzy, for some reason, just brings this up out
of nowhere.
None of them were ready for this. If we wanted that, we could do that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no gun violence in America, on their premier episode of the Oswards.
Now, I just want to point this out, anyone who was a fan of the reality show,
do you see how much editing there is in reality for all crabbing to make these guys
interesting and entertaining? I knew when they put out a podcast,
like, oh, that's can't be good. This is gonna be a disaster.
And I was right for once.
Well, Kelly's just in development, remember.
That's true, that's it.
I'm working hard on it.
He never figured that out yet.
Yeah, that just means somebody said,
you want to go podcast?
Perf, perf, perf, perf, best friend.
That's indevelopment.
Perf, perf, best friend is also a singer.
Could be a musician, you know what I'm saying?
Could be funny.
And it would be fun to name it KD.
What's fun about it?
Yeah.
How was that fun?
I have no idea.
I have no idea.
I don't know why facts are fun.
Very clever.
Very clever. Very clever.
Very clever.
K-D, like that's part of their names.
Yes.
Each one's initial.
No, no, no, I got it.
It's fun.
Eric, I'm sorry.
I got, I understood.
That wasn't the problem.
I just didn't think it was fun.
Oh, OK.
I did the else one.
I did the killjoy, Carl.
I did the else you guys want to hit before we move on
from the ass point. Oh, thank you guys want to hit before we move on from the Asapoints podcast.
Oh, thank you.
We're good on this.
All right, well, I'll play one more clip then,
because Kelly's talking about her podcast that's coming up.
And Jack asks, well, what are you hoping happens
with your podcast, Kelly?
No.
Are you happy you asked that question now?
Yeah.
Right.
Any other questions?
What's your hopes for Osborne Media House and your podcast?
I mean, of course, everybody's hope is that it's successful.
Wrong.
No, everyone hopes it's successful.
She said, Oh, it's gonna bum so bad.
Totally bum.
I don't know.
I'd watch it just for all this.
Well, if I can listen to Sam's tunes,
if you're gonna splice it, say Sam's gonna watch it.
Otherwise, not so much.
All right, I want to thank my buddies, Eric Zane,
and Dr. Drew for coming all the way here
Dr. Drew Dr. Steve Dr. Drew you have to
Go exploit
It wasn't in my notes I apologize
Jesus all right. Thank you Carl. Thank you guys very much now
Ted before you make your next announcement. I'm gonna play I'm gonna play a song. Dr. Drew, please be fortunate to be back in the Subaru. Dr. Drew. Everyone's scoring on me now. What's going on? All right, before you make your next announcement,
we'll play a song and then we're gonna bring up a couple of new guests for us here. There you go. This one comes in.
We got another Carl Song parody for the song parody contest.
Tony or Mr. Magenta came in with Juan just today,
and it's fantastic. The way down and rocks are stirring the New York greens.
Just north of Buffalo, shitty football team.
They're stood at old basement made of panels and wood.
They live the Bucktooth Boy named Carl Cucford.
He never had a learn to speak of podcasts well, but he could play a guitar just like a stutter
and John.
Go, go, go, and John go go go go go
Everyone knows knows here show blows blows go go go
Car
Used to carry his laptop and a fancy sack and till he left an empty effort on the runway tracks
Oh, what a dick, always throwing shade
Shit and on podcasts just to get paid
At least his wife Jenny is a total dream
Oh, how did he get a girl out of his league?
Go, go, go, puff a go, go
Everyone knows, knows
His show blows, blows, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go Fantastic work. Keep submitting your songs for the Carol Song parody gods.
All right, Ted, let's make the announcement.
And now it's time to please welcome back one of the WT-A-W-A-T-P fan
favorites and Fiddy Polito.
Let's get them back in here.
Yeah! Oh, hello.
Now, as you guys know, Vinnie and I are on a show together called The Creep Off.
It is the only true crime show made for men.
We appreciate you guys checking that out every Monday at one o'clock, Eastern time. And we decided to change things up. We're not gonna
check out creeps per se or who are these creeps, the True Crime podcast. Instead, I
love the show cops. I also love the show cops. And the next best thing is code
blue on YouTube. It is amazing. And folks, tonight, we have a video for you
that you are really truly going to enjoy.
So you're excited for that on the hearing aid.
Get some excited up here.
Yes!
I love that.
I love Betty's stand-up energy.
You guys want to make some applause right now?
Let's do that now.
Somebody's got a cheer these fucking people up, Carl.
We got a middle-air coming up that you've never heard of. Let's bring a cheer these fucking people up Carl. We got a middle ear coming up that you've never heard of
Everybody raise your head on
So folks what we're gonna do is we're gonna watch a story about a woman who fucked around and found out and
We're gonna start off back in March of 2023, March 19th,
and Wisconsin folks. Here's what's going on. I'm going to give you the setup, and then
we're going to kick right into the video. There's a 911 call, right? 911 receives a call
from a woman who's requesting help, but she's refusing to give any information to the 911 operator.
All they hear is a man yelling in the background,
and this woman refusing to identify herself,
give an address where she is, or give any details
as to what is going on and why she needs the assistance.
So, once she hung up, the police pinged her location
from her cell phone, and help was on the way.
So, let's pick up with Clip 1 Carl, the police pinged her location from her cell phone and helped was on the way.
So let's pick up with Clip 1 Carole, the police.
Hello.
Hey, this is Officer Clod, the light show police department.
What's going on?
Well, we got a call from this number stating,
okay, what department are you guys in?
Well, we're trying to, we just want to make sure everything's okay.
All right, so we just got to check everyone.
Okay.
What you're going to notice during this,
that these police officers are so reasonable.
These are the most reasonable cops I've ever seen in my life.
And you'll see why in a minute.
Now, we are going to meet the woman who called 911,
even though she doesn't want to admit it. Here she is, folks, the star of tonight's show.
We're not leaving. Come to the door.
Oh, blah.
Bobfish coming up.
I have to go to work.
I have to go to work.
I'm not willing to be late for work. Okay, what's going on? I have to do nothing. Nothing. I have to go to work. I have to go to work. I'm not willing to be late for work.
I have to. Nothing.
Nothing. I have to go to work. I don't even know why you guys are here.
Please, please.
I want the Chief of Police here.
Whoever the supervisors I want here.
He's coming.
I have to go to work. I don't have time for this.
I have to go to work.
No way did it. I don't know who called you.
I didn't call you.
You're not black. you're not in danger.
Yeah.
Calm down.
It's always a good sign when people refuse to remain calm.
You think she's the CEO of a multinational company, too,
but you desire to get to work.
Yeah.
I love working. I can't miss it.
Yeah, she really is employee of the year right here.
So, folks, what we are about to see is a little clip I call lies.
Who's in there for me with you?
Please watch the police officer in the corner.
I have to get ready, sir.
I have to go to work.
I have to go to work.
We got a call.
Oh.
Hi. Oh. Okay. So bad. We got her I have to go to work We got a call
Okay
She asked like there's no one else who can make those flies at our piece
It's gonna be fine. You can be late Carl the best part of that is she's a I didn't call I didn't didn't call, they called the number back, she answers, it turns around and sees him, and her excuse was,
this phone has two phone numbers on it. She's quick. Yeah, it's so time's come on.
So I'm going to go out on a limb everybody and say, I don't think the cops are believing
her. Now, here's the thing, they now want to know what is going on inside
of this apartment. This woman is made up this story. Everything is very suspicious.
They still don't know what's going on inside. So they want to know. They ask her who's
in there. Clip five please. Five or four? Four. What comes after it? I mean, I have to go to work, y'all.
I have to go to work.
I have to go to work.
I have to go to work.
I'm not talking to you.
I'm not speaking to you.
I have to go to work.
Who else is inside?
I have to go to work.
You guys are going to cause me to lose my job.
Please let me go to work.
There's no one inside.
Please let me go.
Please, I have to go to work.
I have to go to work, sir!
OK.
All right, first off, there's never been a woman
this interested in work.
I mean, I've met a lot of women.
I know a fan's fun.
Second off, these cops are not ready for that jelly.
LAUGHTER
It is very cold out in Memphis and Wisconsin
this time of year, by the way.
You'll see that later.
So, now, this woman's out there making an awful lot of noise,
right?
If you lived in this tiny little apartment place,
you would know something was going on.
Well, the person who's inside of her apartment
realizes something is going on.
So let's do clip five now.
My God.
The fuck are you doing?
My God!
No! Get the fuck away from here. Get the fuck away from here. the
Achilles heel As the kill is healed, his cock. Carl. Oh, my goodness.
Stop.
Stop.
You're a victim.
You're a victim.
You're a victim.
You're a victim.
You're a victim.
I'm going to give everyone a piece of advice here.
No, I'm going to give everyone a piece of advice.
Stop.
Real piece of advice, real talk, folks.
If someone comes out and surprises the police,
do not jump in front of them yelling he has a gun.
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
Which is why I say, these are the most tolerant police officers
I've ever seen in my fucking life.
So now, this poor guy is in there.
He hears his wife screaming in the hallway,
thinking she's in trouble. He jumps his wife screaming in the hallway, thinking she's in trouble.
He jumps out looking like the Notre Dame logo.
Hey, I got a question.
Has anyone here ever been tased in the cock?
How does that feel?
Anyone have experienced, no experience with this? In the P.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H. Okay, well I can't imagine it feels good for Lancelot over here
Charging to the aid of his damsel of distress
So folks would you like to find out what really happened inside that apartment?
All right next clip here's the truth
Listen you call 911, just listen, all right? All right.
My God, I wouldn't run because he was,
because he was being a douchebag.
I was just trying to try to deal with the fuck the cops.
Okay, that's an appropriate first of all, right?
I never, I never, I never, I never,
I wasn't doing anything, I wasn't doing anything.
Okay, you, you got every police officer over here
because we thought someone was being a murdered
I'll be of us. Yeah, no, I'm fine. You guys did all this
Yeah, yeah, it was a
Hate to hear her having sex. Holy shit.
I want...
I don't know about my cab!
Get an overreferred crime scene.
On the creep-off, we're not really known for empathy.
No.
But I watch you people to know something.
I have never felt worse for any what I have ever watched in a video.
Clip 7.
Check in with the guy who just got his dick taste.
We'll have to go get that in a second here.
Sir, what's going on with my boyfriend?
I don't know.
I'm out here talking to you.
Do you think I know?
Your decision is gone to you.
My decision, I didn't do anything besides trying to get in here to calm down.
We cook her breakfast this morning.
I didn't do anything besides cook bacon and sausages for a...
All this fucking guy did was make her breakfast!
I love that Bitty doesn't realize that bacon and sausages
not breakfast!
That's not a balanced breakfast!
She has, usually there's ham!
She has her over-easy and she got scrambled
so she swatted him and he he got tased in the dip.
It's a tale his oldest time, Andy.
Happens every day.
Nope.
No, guys, I don't want to go out on a limb,
but I think she's telling lies again.
Let's check it up, Ray.
Okay, what is your name?
I have to go to work.
I'm asking you what your name is.
Why?
So I can address you.
Shakira. Is that you? Shakira, you can you're name is. Why? So I can address you.
Shakira.
Shakira?
Shakira.
You call me Shakira.
Shakira, what?
Shakira Flavorgaston.
Shakira Flavorgaston.
Bullshit.
I'm Shakira Madonna Biggie Smalls.
Why do you ask?
So I was talking to your wife backstage, Carl.
Yeah.
And I was telling her about Shakira Flabbergasted.
And she made a really great suggestion
for the Wheel of Consequences.
Oh, shit.
So for those of you who don't know what the Wheel of Consequences
is at the creep-off, we have a contest every weekend.
The loser ends up spinning this thing
and it ends up being horrific for one of us.
And the consequence would be Shakira Flabbergasted,
Dragtime Story Hour.
I'm not even sure what that means, but I hate it.
Well, we can make up the rules later, I think.
I think it's gonna be the next isotope,
go-go dance, sir.
Give it over Shakira Flabbergasted.
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
I don't think that we should take mental health for granted.
I think we should all be very careful about our mental health. We shouldn't make jokes about it. I don't think that we should take mental health for granted. I think we
should all be very careful about our mental health. We shouldn't make jokes about
it. And I sincerely don't appreciate this ruse that this woman has tried to pull
over out the police at our next clip. Bring me to the hospital. For what? Bring me to the hospital I want to myself and I feel like I want to take myself. Bring me to the hospital.
Okay.
Dolly daughter.
If only any bad Helen were still alive, she could front van Helen.
She's hitting all the notes right now.
It's unbelievable.
Dude, if I was David Lee Roth, I would have this woman behind a curtain on every stage with
a microphone.
This woman is running with a devil right now and you're not appreciating it.
So ladies and gentlemen, my final clip
for this wonderful, wonderful woman
who fucked around and found out.
I want you all to know that the good news is
it seems like baby she learned her lesson, you tell me.
I only called because I was trying to scare him
and does not yell at me anymore.
I was wrong, that was wrong, I was wrong, that was illegal, I'm sorry.
Okay.
I don't know why I don't know why I'm getting arrested.
He was the one yelling at me,
why am I getting arrested?
And he's saying they're going,
why am I the one whose penis is swollen to the size of my head?
And there's no sausage or bacon left.
Although, now's a good time to take a photo of it.
You're going to want to save that for later.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure this dude's going to be single again.
Probably.
So that's what I prepared for you guys for the creep off.
But Carl, before I get out here, because this is my last segment
with you guys tonight, I'm sorry to ambush you with this.
Oh, boy, here we go.
I just had a phone conversation with Stuttering John Melinda's backstage.
Okay.
What?
For those of you who don't know, Vinnie and Cedaree, John,
her friends, John, John is booked at the Capitol of the Curls in a Roger, New York in March.
I want to make-
I want to make the official announcement, ladies and gentlemen.
He asked me to die sleep because you made fun of them so badly,
and you made me sit out here when you made fun of my friend.
It was very easy.
And ladies and gentlemen, March 10th,
I comedy The Carlson, and Rochester, New York.
This is the first time and only time,
Stuttering John Melendez, and evening with.
One night.
And evening with Stuttering John Melendez and evening with. And evening with Stuttering John Melendez.
And folks, here's the fun part.
Not only will there be VIP meet and greets
with Stuttering John, will you get your picture with him?
Yeah.
Not only that, there will be a special audience Q&A
hosted by the one at only Mr. Cardiff Hallister.
Questions and assholes.
I need to go to the cabinet. hosted by the one and only Mr. Carter. Questions and assholes.
So folks, if you would like your tickets, you could visit StutteringJohnLive.com.
And guys, what did you do at the money?
It's not a funny question the eighth time, all right?
Are you going to be there, Carl?
I don't think I'm allowed.
No, I won't make sure you're not allowed.
I don't think I'm allowed to be there. All right, we you're not allowed. I don't think I'm allowed to be there.
We'll see.
Thank you very much. Watch the creep off, please.
Midi-bottom, we don't. Drew Lane, everybody.
Drew Lane!
Trucker Andy, thank you guys.
You can't give it up.
Thank you, Detroit.
All right.
Well, you got it all in its best here.
It's time now to welcome to the stage the Spud, the Stunned, and the Dudd, Cardiff Electric, Tuky and Ray DeFito. Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I'm talking to the microphone. I'll replay talk to the microphone. Oh, yes, I do not know how to do this yet, Carl.
My good buddy Carl.
Hello everybody.
Whoa!
This is happening, everyone.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Buh, buh, buh, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,
stunk fart.
So I had producer Chris check out a beer show.
You know, Opie's doing the beer show.
This buddy Matt and Gabbards.
And what did you learn from this latest episode from Open? Nothing. Nothing about beer.
But plenty about boring shows and how not to put one on. If you go to number one, we will watch OP arrive to a conclusion about the beer he's tasting. Oh, oh, oh, oh my! Oh, a lobster beer.
What is this?
It's a citrus session out.
Yeah, it's a Neraganset.
A Neraganset out?
I don't remember Neraganset, well,
Neragansets, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, is good to kill. And what, all right.
I don't know, I haven't had it yet.
So we'll figure it out live.
Cheers.
Cheers everybody, good to see you all.
Should I, we got the bank,
the chair.
I haven't spanked it.
Oh my God, that's good.
It's good.
What is, I'm tasting, I'm on a drink.
Yeah, I'm tasting some.
Got a little.
Yeah.
What am I tasting?
Oh yeah, that thing I was thinking about.
Yeah, yeah. We just about a second ago. This is the cold open,? Oh yeah, that thing I was thinking about. Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm just thinking, this is the cold open, by the way.
I guess you have been in this theme music,
that drum beats, yeah.
Did he call it a theme song?
Yeah, no intro.
No intro.
We're just right into it now.
Right into it.
Which I appreciate that.
Yeah.
Karl, last time I did this with you,
he was drinking out of a shoe.
So this is a step off.
This is a step off.
He's still got a vicae now.
It's very impressive. All right. So he's going to go into this conspiracy theory
that he's very excited about. But first, we are going to continue to drink a little bit.
And oh, but does everyone have a drink right now? Everyone got their drinks? No, fantastic.
I heard a lot of notes All right, well either way
Millie get up. She's good at tears. Wait, wait, are you gonna cheers us?
Wait, you learn cheers
We didn't have to get that baby
Cheers
Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! We're all going around in traffic circles and know what that's causing. More tornadoes.
Is that tornadoes?
More tornadoes because of the traffic.
That's what I should get.
But that's a good thing.
You get behind that one, right?
Here it is.
That's with Tari.
That's with Tari.
It's not a great conspiracy theory.
As far as the conspiracy theories go, I'd buy a pen, yeah.
Let's toast a kid and then get into
the tornadoes.
But that doesn't stop the conspiracy talk,
which is amazing in the next clip,
and also an awesome chat comment.
So keep your eyes peeled for that, please.
What I really want to get behind is birds aren't real.
Yeah, I like.
I want to get behind birds aren't real.
Give it a hold.
Badly.
I've never seen a baby pigeon.
Exactly.
They're all gold that you're dying.
I've never seen a baby pigeon egg.
I've never seen a pigeon egg.
Done, right?
That'll be a challenge.
I definitely want to get behind a...
We're here to bring a pigeon egg. I want to get behind a weird, weird, weird, weird, weird, weird.
I want to get behind Furrits, aren't I?
So.
You have to feel weird in my ears.
I have to put the proof.
Wait, why am I supposed to put a pigeon?
Baby.
Yeah, probably not.
Probably look cute.
They're probably in the pigeon nest.
Oh my gosh.
That's weird.
That's weird.
The pigeon nest.
Oh, he sees it.
That's my kind. So that's. You can get your nose open, bro. Oh, he's seeing this. That's my kind.
So that's not even a super chat.
Right.
All we just goes in, and he has to hit a button
to put it up on the screen.
And if you didn't see it, it said,
anal, anal, anal, anal, anal, anal, anal,
Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray.
Yeah.
Pretty good joke.
I mean, Ray, you actually write jokes for a living.
I mean, it's pretty good, right?
It's pretty good. People I've done worse. I think those lyrics do a song, but yeah
One of my favorite Kenny G songs wait, he doesn't lyrics
All right, coming up we got some compelling shoplifting talk
We got some compelling shoplifting talk.
No, the word is out that if you feel like shopping at Gwain Reader CES, just have that and have fun.
No one's gonna stop you.
Right, that's right, and lock in a whole tooth.
Yeah, notice that.
You wanna buy toothpaste?
You gotta fall somebody.
Why are they locking up the toothpaste?
I have a lot of oil too.
Is it stupid to say that the people that are gonna be going going to Dwayne Reed and C.K.S.
To take whatever they want, that particular person doesn't care about the toothpaste as much.
Right.
Am I wrong?
You're not saying that, but I'll use that for two things.
Right.
Good stuff.
This is a beer show, by the way.
I want to point out, producer Chris Poldys flips,
this is an edited show, this is not a live stream.
He puts this together in post and says,
these are the best conversations we had
while hanging out at the bar.
I'm also guessing that he asked for his co-host
to stand way behind him.
Yes, he's the star of the star band, relax.
Get back there, you just hand me babies.
Every now and then, That's your role.
All right, so they got, they got to get their numbers up with the kid again,
Millie, let's get Millie back on.
Let's get our numbers up, show Millie.
We need to get our numbers up.
What's up?
There's the bill.
See, vote pop.
There's the Mill House.
Millie knows how many languages does Millie know right now? She knows three languages.
She's just three, but she responds to three. She responds to three languages. I respond to
almost half of one, almost one. No, I got a little black in me. Yeah, a little bit. They're accounts. They're accounts. I got it.
I got it.
Sub-Saharan.
You all do, right?
I got a nice chunk.
You go far to be far to back, y'all do.
I got a little Sub-Saharan, so.
I think that's Ollie.
There's no way.
Take very hard.
Ollie is pretty white.
All right, two things here.
First off, just rename the show,
Getting Drug with Toddlers.
I think people, more people would tune into that.
It'd be a funnier show.
But also, Opie's saying that he's part black.
Now, I know he's a great basketball player.
We all know that.
Yeah.
Pete Mervich.
And I know they did get beat up for Colin one of his buddies,
the Edward one, so he's probably still trying to figure that out.
Wow!
Yeah, not a great thing.
By the way I also won't use the M word.
Well, Tukki is up here with those.
I don't want to offend.
Mijit!
Nope, that's not the one.
Hm.
Mongaloid?
Nope.
Let's not try to gas because it's going to offend you.
Catching M word.
It's going to definitely offend one of us up here. Let's not try to gas because it's gonna be a fat ketchup. I'm worried.
It's gonna definitely affect one of us out here.
Let's not get into that.
I think what Carl is trying to say is OP is finally recaptured.
That'll be an Anthony magic.
Yes, it's correct.
Let's get into it.
All right, coming up next, has anyone ever eaten anything spicy?
Because this does not look like that's an organic experience here
watch this overacting Ray has eaten Puerto Rican ass before who hasn't that's
just another Tuesday come on is this your fort that you use my fort did I use
oh my god don't say the name of the restaurant. We're only promoting Gibbarts today.
Don't get him a beer either. I want to see this. I want to play out. Let it play.
Oh my God!
What the hell is that?
Oh, that's here. Yeah, cool, cool, down.
What was that? Tomato? That's cheese.
Is that a ghost stuff pepper? Holy crap!
That's Asian ghost pepper.
That's white guy spice.
Yeah, he thinks this is funny.
Jesus Christ!
Pretty good stuff.
That was a drop.
Producer Cress. I know you're used to being the one playing the drops around here.
Tookie's got a board.
He's using as well.
Watch out.
Watch out.
So finally, we get to beer talk on this fucking beer show
allegedly and Opie edits it out.
Opie edits out the beer.
We're 10 minutes in.
We're finally going to talk about beer.
I assume people watch this show to talk about beer.
Because that's the whole point of it.
But apparently, that's not the important part of this.
The brewery that brews this beer, this is Folk's Dark.
Right?
It's a Vienna Logger.
These guys are in New Hampshire,
little to New Hampshire, they're called Shilling Beer Company.
And they make a bunch of really nice old- style loggers. If I went and checked out,
you know, OP likes to put out the shorts on his YouTube page. And he actually put out a
short last year at this time and decided to repost it again this year because it's so funny.
And I thought you guys might enjoy this one as much as I did.
I love my pumpkin space not a-
I can't get enough of my sugary dreams.
I love my pumpkin. We, space not days, home run or to home run.
I love my pimkin.
So, Stuttering John is only funny when he's not trying to be funny
and OP is never funny.
It doesn't matter if he's trying to be funny,
if he's not trying to be funny, it's just never funny.
And for that, God bless you, I hope we appreciate it.
We appreciate everything that you do for WOTP.
So, Ray DeVito made the trip here.
Ray, thank you very much for coming to the show. I was hanging out with Ray last night on
at Fifth Avenue. Mike and Olukson. Up in Royal Oak. And you told me, you had a couple of
things you wanted, a couple of stories you wanted to tell. well. Yeah, apparently because last time I said in AC for MLC
So I just break up the band so this is a last. Oh shit
That's the last time you produce a Chris are gonna. They're gonna be enemies next time
What's talk about the AC meet up for miserable company Kevin Brennan show? Well, it was similar to this right?
What will you guys have a show?
No, I'm just talking about I did not know that two guys that I like very much would blow up at each other Well, you guys have a show. It was a hit. Oh, right. It was a hit. Oh, right. All right.
No, I'm just talking about it.
I did not know the two guys that I liked very much
would blow up at each other the next day for,
no fault of mine.
Me and my laundry baskets was not involved in anything.
OK, your pink cover, there's nothing to do with that
is what you're saying right now.
OK, very good.
Ray, what else you got to win on, buddy? That was it.
All right, we tried to do a race like that.
No, I'm just one man.
No, all right, miss the art.
I will say this, I'm new to this dabble verse.
And so, like, I know Cardiff and, uh.
I've been around for like a year, Ray.
You can't keep saying your name.
But I know your name, so I'm staying with OJ.
My name is Tuky.
Yes, yes, not your fucking name.
Of course we know my name.
So I'm checking in the hotel and OJ's names.
I'm like, yeah, I'm here, though, like, what's your name?
Like, just my body.
Like, what's his name?
I have no idea.
I have no idea.
You're traveling with this man from Cleveland.
Yes, yeah.
And you don't know his name.
I still don't know his name.
You've no idea what his name is.
I know his name. You only know his obnoxious job. That's it. Yes, yeah. And you don't know his name. I still don't know his name. You know his name.
You only know his obnoxious job.
That's it.
Yeah, yeah.
You didn't once think like, hey, by the way, what's your first name?
Yeah.
I don't want to know, because I don't want to accidentally dox people.
Oh, right.
I'm like, I'm podcast.
Just the opposite of severing jobs.
Yeah, yeah, I don't want to, like, so it's better.
I just call him as O.J.
Does that make sense?
Well, it's embarrassing when it seems like you're
trying to get a free hotel room.
Ouch.
Jesus Christ.
I can't believe it.
It's your story.
It wasn't mine.
It's your story.
It's not my story.
What do you want for me?
You got to know your buddy's name.
If he's the one who booked the hotel room for you.
All right, I do know his name, but I'm not going to say it.
But I did that know his last name.
Wow.
Bust a brag.
Yes.
A brag over your last name. Say it, you I did that no last name. Whoa, what the brag? Yes. Yes, I did that no last name.
Oh, say it, you pussy.
So it's just like,
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Doc, sit.
No, Doc, sit.
Doc, sit.
But according to the lady, it looks like a grinder hookup.
Like I'm just scared of my buddy.
Yeah, right.
I don't know it's real, mate.
Yeah.
He's got the rooms.
Where are you going up there?
Where?
I have no idea.
Isn't there a question you want to ask a certain special
lady tonight?
Oh!
I stopped.
All right, we're not.
Let's move over to Tuky.
Let's move over to Tuky.
Tuky, what do you know about this?
What's going on?
No, I'm just trying to make Ray uncomfortable.
It's quite a stage.
It definitely works.
It's also very humbly when we're outside me and, uh,
El Horee Blade, Bidavler, whatever he's calling something.
Don't tell the story, Ray.
I'm just a line of people and say,
hey, do you guys know Ray DeVito?
And I'm like, no, no, Claire.
Who have I run a plus?
It's actually heard my name before tonight.
Oh, no, that's Danny DeVito.
You're thinking of that.
That's Danny DeVito.
The Penguin, that is not the penguin.
Totally different guy.
But thanks for having me, man.
It's a lot.
All right.
I've never gotten in fan.
No, you're not even in the demo, man.
Afraid DeBito.
Afraid DeBito.
They don't even care.
FKB?
FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? FKB? Oh! Oh! This is the greatest show, the greatest game show
on any podcast happening today.
And of course, Cardiff is here with us.
The potato is here.
He's not floating.
Oh, he's disturbing.
Not today.
But this is hard.
The electric.
Oh, he's disturbing.
Oh, man.
Thank you.
I'm disturbing to look at.
Do you want to set this up or should I just let it rip?
Oh, I should say something first.
Please.
Do you mind? Not at all. An halitime? That's why the microphone's there in front of you, I should say something first. Please. You mind? Not at all.
An halitime?
That's why the microphone's there in front of you, buddy.
Yep.
Got it.
I figured it out.
I put the pros on early in the show.
Just, I don't know what I'm doing.
Watch this.
We stink.
It's time for everyone's favorite game show.
Oh, to catch.
Unalien.
Whoa!
Are you ready to play?
To catch.
Unalien, hit it, Carl.
That's what you press play.
Go to aob now enhancement.
Does this bat make really make your deck bigger?
Yeah.
It does, really.
I'm gonna listen forever.
Yeah, this stuff is, it's funny because it's such a scammy industry that
people will assume that this stuff is complete nonsense and doesn't do anything, but excuse
me. Just sneezed, excuse me. The spiny bath mate is pretty damn impactful on
Dorth and then this like valesand thing. thing is an extender device and it's pretty impactful on length
So you can I would say eat out an extra one to two inches in length with very consistent regimen
It's used as well as an inch and girth probably with regular use of these devices. It's just the problem is now
When you do it and say you do it for how long do you have to do it and then does it stay or you know
If you have like a pencil deck and you do it
What did Tommy say next?
Here are your choices
number one Do you get a horse cock?
B
Do you become non-pencil dick guy?
I've been described as that.
Next, is it only for humans?
Four, do you turn into Rod Jeremy?
Lastly, unintelligible while cracking himself up laughing.
Oh, no, okay.
To catch.
Unalien, if you want to play, it'll bring up.
All right.
Oh, is it going to show the choices up here?
If you play in pause.
All right.
What did he say next?
Horsecock!
Horsecock!
Horsecock!
Hold on, hold on!
I always go for a cock. Tuky! Tuky! You're being very rude right now. I'm sorry, I got excited, I saw a horsecock! Horsecock! Horsecock! Hold on, hold on! I always go for a cock! Tookie!
Tookie!
You're being very rude right now.
I'm sorry, I got excited, I saw a horsecock!
This fucking monster!
Oh, what?
Oh, shit, I said it.
I'm gonna pump it.
Alright, so, I'm gonna go first.
I'm gonna say that Tommy likes to think he's a comedian.
Just like Joe Rogan likes to think he's a comedian.
And I bet that he says, do you turn into Rod Jeremy?
No, whether he's trying to make a joke there or not, I don't know.
But I bet that's what he says.
Producer Chris, I'm gonna start with you over there. What do you think? What's your answer?
Uh, do you become non-pensal dick guy?
All right, I do like that.
One ready to beat it.
What do you think?
Horsecock.
He just wanted to say that to you.
All right.
Oh, good.
Tookie.
I'm going to go with next.
Is it only for humans?
Yeah.
You would say that, too, Tookie.
I know, because I'm not the human.
Right.
So I want to know if it won't work for Tookie.
Tookie dick. All right. Tuky dick.
All right, let's find out.
Now, when you do it and say you do it for how long
do you have to do it, and then does it stay?
Or if you have a pencil deck, and you do it,
you become the non-pencil dick guy.
Oh!
You start.
You start.
You start. You're trying to work the tenfold you have, you're trying to work the tenfold you have, you're trying to work the tenfold you have. You're starting to get your story. I think you're going to be the first to go to New York.
You're finding more potential you have,
because you're more actually, like,
to issue your work in New York.
Yeah, to plot.
But with this stuff, I would say,
it's been a while since I've talked about this,
so it's hard for me to even remember,
but it was like, this might open up.
This might get your money for all your vitamins.
Yeah, it's, like, it's definitely a multi-year thing.
I wouldn't say it's a year's of three plus,
but it's definitely at least one to two
to get very noticeable outcomes.
I think you'd get something.
Got your curl.
Notable enough to be considered significant
within a year of very consistent use,
but you're looking at every other day, like pump sessions of like, I don't know this could be way off.
I forget exactly what it is.
It's in the article if you want to read it, but it's like maybe 10 to 20 minutes a session
of the Batman having a stand over to the one that's the biggest time to be in this.
You have to wear that thing for like eight plus hours a day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The the extender is supposed to be a lot more low maintenance because you kind of just the pump though
you literally have to sit there and like prep your dick for 20 minutes which maybe 20 minutes
I forget exactly like peak session time is but it's something like that as you're looking at at least a couple hours a
week cumulatively of like putting stuff on and off your dick well I mean no no like no like, no guy would have the answer, but I'm sure that they would have no problem
spending a couple hours a week to get right, I would say.
Oh, yeah, I wouldn't want to be back in the end, too.
You'd have only worth it for me back then.
Yeah, fuck why not?
And then go to an intelligent shop that's two tabs over.
This is pretty bold there.
That's all for this time.
Come back next time.
What the hell is that?
I didn't know you have the 20-minute penis pumping skills.
You can't.
I need to leave.
I'm going to check five.
Then Uranus got hit.
And it's just...
You put the dues fire on my show!
Then Uranus... You're off the show on my show! Then your reign is over.
You're off the show, Cardiff!
Got you, Cardiff.
You got me good with that one.
All right, at this time, we've done it all.
I mean, literally, we've done it all.
We've done everything there is to do.
Which means it is time for our Internet News girl, Lucy Titebox.
Whoa!
Do we have an announcement for Lucy?
I don't even know if we do.
Did you guys write one?
You do.
Okay.
Then Ted, Ted please.
Okay.
Take it away.
There you go.
Are you ready?
Are you ready?
And now, your favorite.
Lucy Flusi.
Lucy.
Tightbox.
Internet news. Go Lucy. Lucy, Tape Bob! Internet News!
Go Lucy!
From Patreon's Sleepner rights, I hope was any of it John's fault, no none of it was John's fault,
is crocheted above John's bed. Hopefully all the roaches do at least that much for him.
Pro-Shade above John's bed. Hopefully, all the roaches do at least that much for him.
From Facebook, Benjamin F. Cohen has a nice summation
of recent activity.
John's back on the obnoxious offensive.
KB's producer is taking flack.
Vinnie Polino is an enabler.
Pablo Meza shares,
and I, a a genius or what?
Says the person combing his hair with forks.
Judge Hartgrove quotes the ever so quoteable,
zoom-a, tomorrow might be another day.
Brett Stevens reminds us,
you expect stupid words to come out of that stupid face.
From Discord, General GK notes, the only thing about John
that has grown is his gut and his Charles Manson beard
and goes on to add, when a ghost wants to rape you,
you just tell them, no means no.
Go, go gadget, wang opines, mental illness seems fun.
Japanese fart enthusiast grapes.
I'm sick of this woman's disgusting
anti-reptilian views.
I love Thuben and the reptilian people.
Ornette 69, I'm thinking one fucked her and blew her off.
From YouTube, Camaro 69 points out, I laughed at conspiracy
theories for 25 plus years, but here we are hearing the truth for once.
Severious branduceus. That's right, just how the evil spirits to go away, and that usually
does the trick. Joe Turner, did you know Carl was a stunt double
for eight different characters in Revenge of the Nerds?
Eight!
Sean Foley, time is like a map, just like in Time Bandits.
Michael Carrera, she's a skin walker for sure.
Joe Trip, her makeup slash hair tutorial is called Mo Howard
with a man-mon.
Live Chef writes, you guys are just jealous
that you don't have an alien whacking off to you.
Bob Levy's fat balls.
It's almost like they're making it up as they go. And from Reddit,
T-Bonerick, Whiscoe comments on studying John's show from Wednesday, holy shit.
Easily the drunkest I've ever seen this mess of a human. Watching till the end,
it quickly escalates. Dr. Ted Penis astronaut, four hours and six minutes in.
John can't speak.
John, your kids can see this shit.
Jay Snappa, oh, that's what I was thinking.
Oof, so embarrassing for his children.
He's in such a sad downward spiral.
Prudent ad, best was when he asked Joey C's wife if she liked anal.
Yeah!
Whoa!
And Lazy Designer plays us out with what a lovable drunk.
Tomorrow might be another date.
You're gonna prove Lucy.
Lucy tight box, everybody.
Oh, Lucy! Give it up for Lucy. Lucy tight box, everybody.
All right.
As you guys know, we are now into the voicemail segment,
and I'm going to start off with a very special boner line.
I want to thank my buddy, Brandon McAfee.
Some of you might know this. I've been going on the Drew and Mike show for the last few years. I go on every other Tuesday.
You might hear it Wednesday morning. You might skip past it. It's very possible. I read the internet. And there are certain people who call into the Drew and Mike show.
I have some opinions about me. And thankfully, my buddy Brandon put the couple each together I've not
heard this yet but I am looking forward to it. Hey guys, thank you for
your question, brand-box W-A-T-P. Did you guys sign them or did you guys know them?
Just Carlos deserves a beer and a new show. Who the fuck is that? No more Carl, no more.
You guys have got to do something about the Carl that you guys do every couple weeks.
It's getting so fucking bad like nobody gives this shit.
Not nice.
You have to give Mr. Thomas A. Mazaway walking into your studio a national treasure himself.
Yeah.
And you kick him out of the studio for
fucking Carl him fuck that bullshit now it's wondering if
probably in the show notes you could include in the details when you guys
have Carl on like the time that he starts and the time that he ends so I can
fast forward through that period so that's trying to be a complete
deck but just get a little bit carled out. So, I just got the idea.
Carle from what are these apps? His voice is terrible.
Oh, I'd love to have a voice like that. What a voice.
Make this short and sweet. Film more carl. Full of God. No more carl.
He hates you!
I think it's ironic that Carl,
does you get a cringe of the week
when anytime he appears on the podcast,
the most people cringe.
Give him the George Washington treatment.
George Washington didn't do shit.
He could suck my fucking dick.
I fucking hate that maggot.
Ever since, Carl from WATP and his stuttering John segments,
whenever Drew now tries to drag
the fact to the 80s or 90s, I just keep you in Bruce Springstein glory date playing over and over in my head.
I won't make some glory, hope. Not just me. We're all so sick of the stuttering John.
No one gives a shit about stuttering John and the Carl guys.
All you're going to see is talk about stuttering John, well spoiler alert, nobody gives a fuck.
That's just like Stuttering John Melinda, as he doesn't know the true and my podcast.
True, from Drew and Michael, I don't know.
You guys stop with Stuttering John, shit. We all can barely take Carl.
Every week talking about some washed up dude, Stuttering John, you guys sit here and fucking make a fucking 20 minute bid out of
the everyday.
It's so fucking dumb, I fast forward it every fucking tie.
That is slanderous.
This is not a Stuttering John podcast.
For God's sake, stop talking about him.
She also would text me naked pictures of herself, which I didn't ask for.
Hey guys, I don't want to keep asking my favorite
shut up about Stuttering John over.
No more Stuttering John.
No one can get the shit about Stuttering John.
Stop with Stuttering John.
Loses.
Fuck Carl.
Fuck Carl.
And fuck that fucking new trailer.
His given name is Carl.
He likes to be called Fert face.
Thanks a lot, Carl.
Fuck you! I know some of you are here right now.
Fuck you!
Can somebody please DM me the number for the borderline please?
I have some calls to make. Thank you.
This is going great.
All right, Jenny Jingles has our wireless microphone.
And we had a lot of calls on the voice,
but I'm not going to play voice bells right now.
We have a live audience right here.
My voice mail.
Full of fantastic fans, like band practice guy, the list goes on.
So, Jen, why don't you walk around?
See if anyone has anything to say to us, and if you
want to talk to Tuky or Cardiff or what you're not.
Is that any of John Billy's shy?
Oh, Tuky?
That was fantastic.
Oh, I see somebody.
This is our Q&A, just like Senator John's going to do.
March 10th, I think, and Rochester.
Yes, be there.
Take it to going fast.
All right.
Carl, I like how you've gone from, you know, you were talking to start
ring John and then he went to observe and report.
Yeah. What at what point?
Cut his mic. Cut his mic. No. At what point did you fully realize that John was beyond
a rational conversation? Okay, well, I don't remember that exact point. Maybe the first time I talked to him,
not on MLC, he was well-behaved on Mr. Williams Company, but we did a show together.
That did not go very well. And I know Obser-Report people say, and now you're talking to the guy directly,
it's the only way this could have happened. It was the natural progression of things. The John and I would become neighbors.
I'm surprised at things that John and I would become neighbors. And besties.
We're going to throw a rough patch right now, but we'll figure it out.
I'm sure.
Should I be good?
Thank you for your questions, sir.
Great question.
Thank you for your call.
Carl, on the first bet that you made with Stuttering John,
where you had to pay him the $100.
Yeah.
I would like to remind you if you'd forgotten, there is a bet on if the Atlanta Braves
win the World Series and you have the rest of the MLB.
You'll get that $100 back just so you know.
And I'm mad at myself because John wanted to bet me a hundred bucks of the Yankees would
make the playoffs.
And my thought process was, doesn't everyone make the playoffs
and Major League Baseball now,
I think they changed the rules that everyone gets in,
so I didn't want to make that bad,
but goddamn, I should have.
I really should have made that bad,
but yes, the Brazeman great team,
but the cops are going all the way.
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,
I, I, I, I, Carl,
yes, here we're going to see the creep off,
roast video, Is that murder?
Great question.
Great question.
From the Emmy.
Yes, we are going to see the creep off roast video.
Of course, we put the roast out audio on the creep off
page around.
We have not put the video out yet, because my videographer
is just dragging his feet.
Too busy sucking cock talk her
I will work on it. We'll get it done
We have somebody who'd like to give to you high five is that allowed
Yes, yes, it's fantastic. Yeah, right to keep loves his fans
The tookie have to get off somebody's got to get up and do it though. Yeah, no tookie doesn't come to you
You come to to I'll go do it. I will I cannot see
Reluctantly I'll do this for you
There you go all right
They're coming all right while we're waiting for that any other questions for two key or wait
All right, this is happening quickly never mind. No, it's happening now. It's happening now. Let's get right to it
Oh wait, all right, this is happening quickly never mind. No, it's happening now. It's happening now. Let's get right to it
Yes, of course
homo
We had a waste your question, man. I hope that was worth it.
Oh no, she fell down.
Juki killed her.
I killed her.
Is she okay?
We got a good question that came in over here.
Does anyone know what the people are singing for the Golden Voice Jingle?
Ted Williams podcast.
It's a gold invoice, gold invoice.
Your voices.
Does anyone know what it is?
Is Ted Williams still here?
Oh, Ted, everyone's falling down.
Ted, what is your jiggle?
Your voice is golden, that's right, man.
Thank you all.
Thank you all.
My manager, as a matter of fact, Scott Anthony is the one that produced that jingle.
And I felt so goofy when Drew asked me, so Ted, what the hell are they saying at the end of the jingle?
I'm like, I don't know.
But thank you so much, fellas. I love it.
I thought I was gonna dance with Miss Lucy.
Miss Lucy, like, alright, come on.
I love you guys. Thank you so much. with Miss Lucy. Miss Lucy, like, all right, come on.
I love you guys, thank you so much.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
I don't think we got an answer.
Yeah!
I don't think we got an answer on that one.
You know what, maybe it's better that we never know.
Yes, like, when Kiss wasn't in the hall of fame,
and everyone kept complaining about it, it was better that we never- You were, like when Kiss wasn't in the hall of fame, and everyone kept complaining about it.
It was better that we were there.
It was bad actually got in.
Because when they talked about it a lot.
Hey, I want to make a quick announcement.
People were here for the VIP earlier.
I appreciate everyone who came here for that.
If you have a VIP lanyard, what you got when you came in,
and you didn't grab a poster, you get a poster for free
with the VIP.
So if anyone didn't get a poster
Before you leave Hit the the merch tape off there. Why are they doing free posters? What's this happened? What did I do?
Is another poster game? They were hoping for subreddit surfing posters are those available anyway? Oh, there's subreddit serving posters of alva
Well later on later on
You ready?
Thank you.
Bandbractor.
BPG.
This is the house.
To the world order.
TWO.
To the world order.
Is that all? Oh, two two two key world order
Is that all I mean you brought us a good point
I sure should I know it's pretty good. Thank you band practice guy. That was fantastic. That was fantastic
This is Paul E. Oger contributor to WATS. Yes you, Paul. Did you elect for tablecloths this time
because we've watched you scratch your balls
and all the other shows?
Very much so.
I did put it in the rider,
but it's only so people don't stare at my feet
the entire time, sir.
It's very distracting when they're trying to figure out
what the hell's going on down there.
Yeah, what the fuck is going on down there? All right, Cardiff, that's enough.
Tookie was so afraid he was going to be sad
to watch his friend Carl walk around,
but you walk around like a normal person.
Yeah, I like a big picture.
Poor thing.
No, you work for Carl.
Oh, this is me again, not contributed to anything.
Bobby.
Yes, you lazy sack of shit.
You have so much charisma.
Why are you not, like, your own thing outside of this dumbass show?
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna watch Tuky Soup every Sunday at 10 PM Eastern.
It's fantastic.
Oh, there we go.
Tuky Soup, that's all.
I got a lot of Tuky Soup.
See?
Now you know.
And by the way, Tuky Soup, if you want to watch that show,
he just reads super-chance the whole time.
It's like, Mr. Los Coppano with a puppet.
Yes, we've taken over Kevin Brennan's format.
It's fantastic.
Tukki's enjoying it.
Man, you're money.
I'm sure he is.
All right.
Hey, Carl, I just, I got you a gift tonight here.
Uh-oh.
It's just, it's Stuttering John CD,
the, uh, his Atlantic records debut.
Throw it away, give it to Chris, I don't give a shit,
but it's for you, man.
So I already have that Tucker Dixon came to me
and just throw it away, give it to Chris.
I'm shows, but I'll, I'll spin it again.
Thank you very much, I appreciate it.
Chris, I love it.
Let me guess, Liam. You bought it used?
It's open.
It may not used, but it came used, yes.
It came used.
All right. Do I see anybody else? Anybody?
Anybody? You? Okay.
Hey, Cardiff. Are you staying at the same spot as Carl over there? Can you tell us about the weird slippers he asked to wear around the house?
Carl made me sign an NDA so I cannot discuss the slippers. I apologize. I'll send you pictures if you DM me.
What? That's against our ideacer. I think she's rereadable.
Got one more?
Never trust a potato.
I mean, I yelled it out earlier, but I didn't give an answer.
Respect the potato.
All right, I'm sorry.
No, it's all good.
Respect the potato.
Yes, seven inches.
Yeldout earlier didn't get an answer.
Are you more than seven inches?
We're not going to Tuky again?
Or the sitter.
Well, we're talking to everybody on the board there.
I'm fine with the table.
Lucy tight box.
Yes.
All right. There's your answer.
Very good.
Guys, thank you so much for coming out to the Magic Bank.
I fucking love Detroit.
I want to come here every year.
You guys are the best.
This has been so much fun.
The Drew and Mike show.
Drew.
Brandon, Mark, Trudy.
You can make it obviously, Jim Bentley.
I want to thank Dr. Steve.
I want to thank Dr. Steve.
Happy birthday, Dr. Steve.
Happy birthday, Dr. Steve.
I'm gonna use your dress, everybody.
Yeah, happy birthday, Dr. Steve.
Where's Mike?
Took Eden get to meet Mike.
Where's Mike?
Ray DeVito was here.
Lucy Titebox, Cardiff, Electric,
Elhori Blay, Manitain to the House, Andy Trucker, Andy was here.
So guys, thank you so much.
Join us again next time,
and it might be the episode we find out what's for all.
Who are these podcasts?
Leave well, everybody.
Starting in the push-pitch.
Well, all right.
Radio. And now, Well, all right. Well, all right.
Watch out. Mm.
Okay.
Great show.
Good job, everybody.
Great job, everyone.
Hey.
Can I tell a joke?
Can I tell a joke?
Can I tell a joke?
What's good?
Hey, listen, everyone.
I want to tell everybody, two jokes I heard, okay? I heard one of them today.
Are you ready?
Okay, the first one is a lady who is in a nursing home and she's running around to the various
stations, nurses stations and she's flashing herself. She lifts up her gown and she says,
Super pussy.
And so the next nurse is stationed.
She does the same thing and she goes on down the line.
The last one told her said,
ma'am, if you flash yourself and say that again,
we're just gonna lock you up, okay?
So she goes down and she flashes up her gown and says,
Super pussy, well, the security chases her
and she runs and, I'm sorry.
And she runs into this old guy's room.
And when she runs in there, the old guy says to her,
lady, you got to get the hell outta here,
they're gonna cause nothing,
but trouble get me and you put out.
And she looks at him with the fashion of saying,
I want to do I'm going to flash him,
oh, what the hell?
She picks up her gown and she says,
super pussy and the old guy grabs his glasses
and he takes a look at it and says,
oh, I'll take the soup.
Hacker, hacker!
Number one more.
One more last one, last one.
This is a commercial.
You don't hear every day, but if you turn it
into the golden voice show, you'll hear it.
And it's called,
tired of living in a rut.
You don't have to live in a rut as long as you got yours.
But sell those cakes to the asses of us.
121 Dugy Lane, Shinnon in California.
You might be only inches away from class
just by taking a few inches in your ass.
Brown, I, Duke, Chuk, just plain old but-home will fill your empty pockets with gold, okay?
So the next time you're broken, want to have some fun. Remember, you don't have to be broke as long as you have those bonds.
Take care.
Go blue!
Go blue. Go blue.
10 Williams, everyone, the golden voice.
All right, now Brittany's gonna do a stand-up set. Oh, man. Thank you.