Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep476 - Feminist Frequency Radio

Episode Date: December 24, 2023

This week we’re checking out a podcast that explains whether or not you’re allowed to like certain movies and TV shows. Have you ever wondered whether or not Gremlins passes the Bechdel test? You ...haven’t? What’s wrong with you?? Tab Birt joins the show to explain how Anita Sarkeesian tried to ruin video games and Jerry hangs out in studio with us. After learning nothing about Gremlins, Anthony Cumia and Missy B join the show to witness John getting pranked and freaking out on his poor mother. Also, we wrap up the holiday song parody contest and crown a winner (or two). Merry Christmas everybody! https://www.compoundmedia.com/ https://www.twitch.tv/missybgood Support us, get bonus episodes, Vic and Hannah pics, and watch live every Saturday and most Wednesdays: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:30 With banking packages from Scotiabank, you can put money back in your pocket. That's how Marcus was able to invest in everything he needed to launch his podcast about his pets. Welcome back to PetGasd. Visit Scotiabank.com slash welcome offer. Scotiabank conditions apply. And that is the story of when the Dabla Shit Christmas. Epishoed number 4, 7, 7. Welcome to Feminist Frequency Radio. Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy.
Starting point is 00:00:54 You know what I miss penis? What are you talking about? The one who should apologize. By the way, for those people that are in the back, remember to shut the fuck up. What a dick! By the way, for those people that are in the back, remember to shut the fuck up. What a dick! I've been dying to say that.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Cause. Cause a row. Cause a row. Slapperoonie. It's show time. W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P-W-A- Podcasting unless you do it a bunch of times that actually doesn't get funny. I'm your host car with me today a Man who brought his thinking beers from here's what I don't get. It's tab bird. Yo happy festivists everyone. It's a festivist miracle Oh, my it is a festivist miracle We haven't seen you in a while glad to have you back on the show buddy. Yeah, glad to be back
Starting point is 00:01:58 Welcome, please go to who are these dot com to get our email address voice phone number link to the subordinate link to the discord server link to our merchandise link to our YouTube channel and That link to patreon supercdit, link to the discord server, link to our merchandise, link to our YouTube channel, and that link to Patreon and Supercast featuring two exclusive bonus episodes, everything a month, and of course you can watch the shows live. Wouldn't we record them on Saturdays and Wednesdays, not taking any time off over the holidays? We will be here for you. Also, this Tuesday coming up, Boxing Day,
Starting point is 00:02:20 I'll be doing a crossover show with the Blind Mike Project, looking at Julia Fox's audio book. So get on the Patreon or supercast or you can join our YouTube channel and get access to that content. Also, we encourage our listeners to give us a five star review on Apple podcasts or wherever you review podcasts and then shit all over in the comment section today. We'll be reviewing a show called Feminist Frequency Radio. This was a suggestion from Urban Beta Patch and the Discord. We have both listened separately. We have not discussed it with each other. A lot of time, let's get into it. The show hosted by Cat Spada and there's
Starting point is 00:02:55 different people who pop on the show. I have been listening to a recent episode about the movie Grunlands that featured a guy named Oscaraill. And I have a lot to say about Oscar. But first, let me read the description on the website of what this feminist frequency is. It says, feminist frequency is a Peabody award-winning nonprofit dedicated to ending toxicity and abuse in the games industry and gaming spaces at large. Founded in 2009 by Anita Sarskisian. She challenged harmful media representations and advocated for a more inclusive media landscape.
Starting point is 00:03:32 Teb, I need you to translate this. I'm not understanding these words here. So in 2009 Anita Sarskisian started this feminist frequency thing to try and basically con companies into giving her money to consult on new media, specifically video games. And like, it's, it really ushered in this era of diversity, equity, inclusion we have now where everything sucks and like, everything has to look like a college entry brochure. And then three or four years ago, she kind of stepped away from it. And then it was revealed that
Starting point is 00:04:07 she had like stolen all the money and they hadn't actually done anything with it. And it had been a huge scam. That's what that profits are. That's what that's what you do. If she did do that, you're doing it wrong. Take the money and that was what she did. And everyone got real fucking upset about it. And as they should, because it was a whole scam, and it's ruined like, it's ruined media. And listening to this episode that I listened to, they're like, they're analyzing this movie from 1987 as if it came out this year.
Starting point is 00:04:35 And they're like, it's kind of problematic the depictions there and they're like, yeah. It came out like 40 years ago, settle the fuck down. No, we have to watch everything through 2023's eyes and judge it by that. The thing that you didn't point out, because this podcast is part of this bigger nonprofit, but it's not the nonprofit.
Starting point is 00:04:55 So this podcast is more about movie and shows and media, but the other thing that ruined the gaming industry is small tits on the females in the video games. You can no longer have big tits in video games. And I stop playing it. I'm done. I'm like, all right, well, I'll just go back to miss Pac-Man. There's no playing Tomb Raider.
Starting point is 00:05:14 Yeah, there's no tits. I'll just play Miss Pac-Man. The difference. There, there is a new Tomb Raider remaster coming out and they kept the large tits. What? Got good news for you. Yeah, they're not pointing anymore. They're more round, but they're still extremely large. Okay.
Starting point is 00:05:28 There's hope. Yeah. So it's interesting that the woman who played Tomb Raider, whatever her name is, Laura Croft, actually had her tits lobbed off. Is that because the video game did it? Was she trying to work out a role for the sequel? Might have anything any sense?
Starting point is 00:05:44 I know, Angelina Jolie. Yeah. Loftar Titsoff. Yeah. You didn't know that? No. Ted, my one. I live in the past. I don't recall her tit cutting your tits off.
Starting point is 00:05:53 Hold on. I know I gotta go to the chat. Am I the crazy one? Uh, don't answer that. For that reason. All right. Let me start off with a clip here. It was Cancer Carl.
Starting point is 00:06:04 Yeah. Whatever. Okay. For that reason. All right, let me start off with a clip here. It was cancer Carl. Yeah, whatever Better cancer than Kiwi Creep Logic she had cancer all right still could have kept those booby somehow absurd Recreated or something In a jar somewhere We have the technology. We can make them big. Yes, correct. Juicy.
Starting point is 00:06:28 For a second, I just feel like I was the bad guy. Yeah. So I'm gonna think I have the dick. What's going on right now? Stop it. All right, so I said that Cat had Oscar on the show. This is her introducing her special co-host for this episode about the movie Grimlands.
Starting point is 00:06:43 That's right, 1984's Gremlins. Joining me today is actor comedian dancer and celebrity crush Oscar Montoya. He's hosted a bevy of podcasts, including Spanish Aki Presents, The Tri-Gaze, Podcast Kill the Video Star, Inside the Disney Vault, and he's a veteran UCV performer and teacher. As an actor, he starred as Richie on Minks and appeared in several beloved shows and Ruby's including Dix the musical, Blessed the Hearts and Star Trek Lower Decks. You can see him in the recurring stage show, Bad Drag Race at Dynasty. Oh, I guess she's saying Dix the music.
Starting point is 00:07:17 That's a lot of fun. Yeah, that is what she said. That was completely on phase until they said Star Trek Lower Decks. Yeah, really. I hadn't heard of any of those things. It's Star Trek lower deck a thing. It's an animated TV show in the style of Rick and Morty. Oh, no shit.
Starting point is 00:07:33 Yeah, I bet it sucks. I bet it does too. I haven't watched any of it. You can see him in the recurring stage show, Bad Drag Race at Dynasty typewriter in Los Angeles. Welcome to the show Oscar. My God. Hi to the show Oscar. My God, hi. Okay, so as soon as he said,
Starting point is 00:07:50 UCB performer and teacher, that's scary right there. When you want to teach people how to do improv comedy, I already know I do not want to talk to you or hear any conversation you're going to be in with anyone else. Well, listen to the way he said hello. It sounded like he was someone was coming in his ass while he was saying while he was green.
Starting point is 00:08:08 Hi. Hi. Good to be here. Now, this woman cat is very insecure. And I have a feeling I have a theory about cat. I'll talk about it more later with some of these clips. I don't think she had a lot of friends growing up. I don't think she makes friends very easily. And it comes through very obviously here.
Starting point is 00:08:27 You know, we met a hundred years ago doing a storytelling show. And yeah, you know, you've never been far from my mind ever since. I mean, we took a dance class together. Yeah, I feel like we had one of those moments and then I've been a really bad friend ever since, but we've had one of those moments of being like, oh my God, a re-friends. Yes. So are. Yes, and I love it.
Starting point is 00:08:53 Um. Oh, okay. Wow, that's awkward. I'm so bad. Remember that time when I thought maybe like we'd exchanged numbers maybe or something? Yeah, you could have just asked, that's whatever. You've just bad at this.
Starting point is 00:09:05 She's like John about her friends. Yeah. I thought maybe we were friends and then you betrayed me? Well, she didn't say that obviously. Yeah, but if you have to ask it, we're friends. Yeah, I thought we were almost friends that one time. No, I don't think so. Nope, not anymore.
Starting point is 00:09:19 I didn't even work close. We were just in proximity for a little while and then we weren't in proximity and I really enjoyed that a lot more. And I never thought, hey, I should find out what cats up to. Never once did that. Never cross my mind to check that out. I'm going to keep going unless you guys are hearing anything. I know Jerry, Jerry's here. By the way, Jerry from Binghamton came up for the ice tub show last night. Thank you for being there. And Jerry's hanging out with us here in the studio today. He's done a lot for the WATP and a ton of things.
Starting point is 00:09:50 In fact, he gave me this gift. I should point this out now. Our buddy, Skinny Chad Zumak, conspire a theory, put this together, Carl's Frosted tips, similar to Frosted Flakes, and a very scary looking me out there saying they're great. Should this say other gray? They're great.
Starting point is 00:10:08 Oh, god damn it. Got me again. Yeah, they really got the mouth. Really captured the horrifyingness of the mouth. Almost. I feel kind of slighted. I told them like what I wanted to see, look like the cereal box. And then I thought I sent the message,
Starting point is 00:10:27 thought about it for a second, sent a second message, fuck the teeth up real nice. And then he made them straight and white. Oh, so you were actually consulting on this project that you and the other corner here. Yeah. So you guys collaborated on this nonsense. And then I invited you to my house. Yes. No one said you were talking about the community. I'm just, and then I invited you to my house. Yes.
Starting point is 00:10:46 No one said you were talking to me. I'm the fucking sucker here, aren't I? I don't frost my tips, producer Chris. Take the head off. You've praised someone to do it. It's fine. All right, I forgot where we were. Okay, we were talking about something. Time out, Gremlins or something.
Starting point is 00:11:01 Yeah, let's talk about. So they're getting to know each other, doing some chit chat, certain things that I like to call banter. And they're talking about, I'm sure you're familiar with LARPing tab. Yeah, I've heard of it. Yeah, you've heard of live action role playing. Yeah, I mean, it's be pretty cool to get into it.
Starting point is 00:11:17 Yeah, I've imagined. You have to be almost as lame as someone who teaches at UCB to get into it. Yes, okay. Makes sense. Live action role playing. Have you ever done a cat? I've never done it. I feel like... I feel like it's one of those things that people say to me like,
Starting point is 00:11:32 oh, it's weird that you don't like pro wrestling because you love drag. You know, like, oh, it's weird that you don't love playing games because you love telling stories. And I feel like it's just one of those things I need to give a chance. First off, what? a pro wrestling equals drag and Games equal stories also she goes people tell me I would enjoy playing games. You've never played game Doesn't have any friends
Starting point is 00:11:55 Those games are two or two plus players. She doesn't even have one friend She doesn't have one front and you know what? I'm gonna prove it right now if there's anything you want to talk about as far as pro wrestling being like drag, save that for a second because she explains why she never got into games younger. I don't know why I've been resistant to it. I think that my sister's like 10 years older than me. And so I feel like if we were ever playing a game, I had a little inferiority complex when I was a kid like, oh, I'm going to this you know so but that's not any way to live you got to push through. Yeah exactly. Yeah but you still don't play games. That sums up feminist frequency like in a nutshell. I thought that I'd be bad at video games so they all needed to change
Starting point is 00:12:38 to accommodate me. Yes well yeah what's really telling though in that story is she goes my sister's 10 years older than me. So when we'd play games together, I would lose. Why don't you have friends your age to play games with? My sister's 7 years older than me. We didn't play games together. She was too old. She's got a little shit going on.
Starting point is 00:12:57 And so I played with my friends. And she did whatever the fuck she was up to. Not telling. I'm not telling. Alright. I know she's not nervous right now. Don't tell me I'm a dad. I know she's out nervous right now. Don't tell me, Dan. I won't secret safe with me. But the how pathetic is that? And the psycho analyze herself too to be like,
Starting point is 00:13:13 why I think the reason why I know like games my older sister, but like get over it. You're gonna double that. That also, that would mean that would be like when she was, you know, six or seven. Yeah, because if the sister's 10 years older, are you 18 and hanging out with your eight year old sister, you know, 22 coming back from college, you're like, Hey, 12 year old sister, why don't we, you want to play some some board games now? Hey, could I call that guy? Can't call right to the other table? Get over here, sis. We got to play this right now. I'm going to kick the shit out of you in this game. We got to play this right now. I'm going to kick the shit out of you in this game. Maybe she did.
Starting point is 00:13:47 Maybe her sister's also a loser and just used the younger sister as like a self-esteem boost. Okay. Another good theory. This is a whole family of losers. Oh, I'm sure. That makes a lot of sense. The other thing she said there was people tell me I would like games because I like stories.
Starting point is 00:14:04 What the fuck does that mean? Those are two very different things. Right? was people tell me I would like games because I like stories. What the fuck does that mean? Those are two very different things, right? Well, I think if she means video games, like they're definitely story-based video games. I don't know if she means that or board games. Definitely not board games. Definitely not board games.
Starting point is 00:14:18 Definitely not most games. Just video games, I would think. Yeah. Well, I guess role-playing, I guess you'd be doing Dungeons and Dragons Maybe that maybe that's what she means. Yeah, yeah, which is again slightly slightly less lame than being a larper Because at least you're hiding in the basement doing it, but also I'm gonna get beat up for this theory. I don't think Dungeons and Dragons is a game It's oh just not so someone just makes it up as you fucking go. It's a game. It's, oh, it's not that. Someone just makes it up as
Starting point is 00:14:45 you fucking go. It's a giant waste of time. Yeah, it's not really a game. The guy just goes, ah, don't know, you want to roll a die or something? What'd you get? All right, well then you lose. Can you tell me what I should get before you just say that? What do I know? I don't know anything. All right, this is got me really pissed off with Oscar because so he's trying to tell his new front cat to just go for it. You don't have to be great at games to play games. And he says something here that really pisses me off. And listen, it's not about like being bad or good. You are inherently good.
Starting point is 00:15:15 You bring yourself to the team, right? It's improv. You know what I mean? There's not like bad or good. It's just like you know, there's just bad. There's only this. None of it's good. This is an improv teacher saying that there's no just saying it's just like you. No, there's just bad. There's only bad. Yes, none of it's good. This is an improv teacher saying that there's no just thing it's bad improv.
Starting point is 00:15:29 I don't think you should be teaching it that. There's a lot of bad improv. Most of it. It's 97.65% is bad. Well, because it's bad people, people who get a improv are not people you want to hang out with at any stage of your life. Yeah, there's a reason. Yeah, it's they're losers. Yeah, they're not funny. They annoyed everybody
Starting point is 00:15:50 else around them. So they formed a gang where they compete with each other to have silly voices and stuff. You're not Wayne Brady. You're not right. You're not good at it. Who's the other guy Ryan something? Ryan styles. Yes. He's Colin mockery. These guys are all right. Yeah. Those are the three. That's the three good improv people on the planet. And even Wayne Brady. I don't know. These things a little too much for my liking, but yeah. All right. This is her explaining that she did the thing that took a lot of courage. We did meet at your storytelling show where I shared a fan fiction that I wrote about Beverly Hills 902 and performing it on stage was extremely vulnerable, which I wasn't expecting, but oops. So vulnerable means embarrassing.
Starting point is 00:16:41 Yeah, that's what I'm getting. Yeah, she goes, why shared her fan fiction about Beverly Hills 9021L. And she thought it was going to be a slam dunk. Maybe I should have started with that when I was describing that she's a loser. Holy shit. We live in a modern world where people just go and bring things that they should really keep privately inside their homes and like it and shame and their little diaries. And then they just like take it out into the world and expose everyone around them to it. And I think that's why we live in like this dystopian hell we live in now.
Starting point is 00:17:15 Yeah. Well, they want to be celebrated for it. And then when they go to on stage and read to a bunch of people that are just there to read their stories on stage, they celebrate them because they want to be celebrated back. Yeah, it's like open mic night as a comic or as you know, when you go to like an open mic as a musician and everyone's just there like play their two songs or give their five minutes and then fucking get out of there. That's what she walked into with her fan fiction.
Starting point is 00:17:39 Jesus. Well, I blame blogging and vlogging. All these things are supposed to be in a diary. So it's to be things that you don't share with the rest of the world. They're like, hey, you know what you can do now? Share it with the rest of the world. Thankfully, no one's ever read anyone's blog
Starting point is 00:17:53 for the most part. For the most part, it's the same as just keeping a journal. No, no, the fuck is going on. But for whatever reason, we're encouraging this behavior like go out there and show everybody what you're up to. It's like, no, don't hide all of that. It's embarrassing. You're be more vulnerable I guess my point All right, so
Starting point is 00:18:12 What I found really annoying about this episode is they're talking about ground ones a movie we're all familiar with and she's done zero prep And she brings it up over and over again that she doesn't know this and she should have looked up that It's it's so obnoxious. Of course, she's looking at the the Wikipedia page live out here. As long as she can get some information going. She reads that little block at the front. She's like, it's 85 minutes, you know, basically do the cheat gum. Yeah, she did that for moon struck and I was just like, I know all this.
Starting point is 00:18:42 I know all of these things. Oh, it starts, no fucking way. Let me just pull up the wiki page. It says, if you could just donate three dollars, you can help keep wiki pedea. Oh, I'm sorry, that's not the important part. Let me skip that a little bit. It's one of these things, just reading the wiki pedea.
Starting point is 00:18:57 I was like, who said this movie needs to be made? Like, I understand that they were like, we got an interesting idea. I know someone who can make a puppet. But how was how is Steven Spielberg like, no, I definitely am going to spend time and money on this and have a cameo in the movie. Yes. Yes. How is that funny? It's the dumbest thing. That's the dumbest take I've ever heard in my life. Grimmel's is a huge hit, a huge success. Everyone has seen that funny? It's the dumbest take I've ever heard in my life. Grimmons is a huge hit, a huge success.
Starting point is 00:19:27 Everyone has seen that movie. It did well in the box office. I believe even critically people enjoyed it, which is surprising because it's all over the fucking place. But everyone loves Gremlins. They got a sequel. It got a sequel. It took six years, but it got a sequel. And they're actually talking about making a Gremlins 3 now,
Starting point is 00:19:44 which they showed. Oh, but all the a sequel and they're actually talking about making a grandma's three now, which they showed off. But all the nonsense they're putting out from Hollywood. Why not a grab once I'd watch that. So I love the she goes, and can you believe it? They're sitting around and going, what we should probably make this crazy movie, right? Like, well, yeah, they know better than you because it worked out really well. I mean, crazy movies have been made.
Starting point is 00:20:02 Who said, who said this podcast needs to be made? You don't really throw stones bitch like. Good point. Does this need to be made? Um, another fun fact about uh, Grimlands is that it came out rated PG and it's pretty violent. You know, they put things that blunders of microwave ovens and things like that. And so, uh, people thought it was like a kids movie, a family movie.
Starting point is 00:20:27 They brought their kids to it. It got pretty crazy. This movie and Temple of Doom are the reasons why they came out with the PG 13 rating. They say, we need something between PG and R because these kids don't like watching these gremlins get stabbed to death by the mob. Some of it violence for them. Actually, the gremlins came out after the mob. Yeah. Love and violence for them. Actually, I think Gremlins came out after the PG 13 existed. Well, according to what I write, because I do my research tab.
Starting point is 00:20:51 Carl read the Wikipedia. I think red dawn was the first PG 13. Yeah, red dawn is the first PG movie. It came out August. And so Gremlins was like two months earlier. Boom. Very good, sir. All right. So let's talk about the
Starting point is 00:21:07 establishing shot because we got to figure out why this movie's problematic. The movie. Yeah. What is the deal with the mag. Why what is going on? Well, let's let's just get into it. Let's start establishing shot China town. Oh man, hilarious. What are they laughing about? Chinatown is an area in the city. It exists. Does she think it's made hop or something to make fun of Chinese people?
Starting point is 00:21:35 It's a magical laugh. What does she think that is? They also do this thing that I hate in movie review podcasts where they just like describe to you spoken word, what happens in the movie one scene into time until you could have just watched the fucking movie. They have like no insight. They offer nothing of any value of what's going on.
Starting point is 00:21:55 They're just like, so there's in Chinatown, then it gets the mogwai and then it takes home and then it gets wet and then the things come out and then they have to fight to think. It's worse than that. It's worse than that. They go in there. There's three rules with these mugwies. I can't remember what they are. What the, why are you talking about this movie?
Starting point is 00:22:10 Do you even watch it? No, I read the Wikipedia though. Yeah, that is very Patrick Michael. It's brutal. It's like, what are you, so the whole point of this is to tell us whether we should enjoy it or not based on the 2023 lens that we're all watching this through. Oh yeah, I forgot what the point was. That's the whole point. That's apparently. But that's not really what they do all that much on here. That's what they say in the beginning is that the
Starting point is 00:22:34 point of the podcast is to be critical to the media you enjoy. Well, A, no, I want to be critical of the media. I hate B. It's Kremlin's. It's awesome. Yeah, even alone. All right, so again, you just need to look these things up before you start podcasting, especially if you're the one who brings it up. Because I mean, I don't know what ever happened to um, I should have looked up Zach Galigan. Yes, that lead. I thought he was fantastic and attractive. Yeah. he was fantastic and attractive. You're right. Okay. We already knew you were gay. You just have to, you had to say that.
Starting point is 00:23:09 You had to say, hey, you said it's an hello. Literally. Yeah. Dude, you got to find the probably should have researched this Bart line. I could not find it. I was looking for it. I wanted to tag it on most of these fucking clips that I have on here. Now they explain really dumb things.
Starting point is 00:23:26 I hate when people pick apart movies. Like I'm fine with picking apart bad plot points. Producer Chris and I were just doing a creep off bonus show yesterday. Santa with muscles. That's amazing. It's an insane movie. And a certain point, I'm just staring at like, what the fuck? I didn't have anything to say.
Starting point is 00:23:43 Things got really quiet. Yeah. As we're marveling. We're trying to fight out if we were to act one still. Staring at like what the fuck? I didn't have anything to say. Things got really quiet. As we're marveling. We're trying to fight out if we were an act one still. There's no plot. We don't know what's going on. So many characters and nothing to follow. Yeah, amazing.
Starting point is 00:23:55 No motivation. No motivation. No motivation. They just keep adding stuff in the third act and you're like, what about crystals? I mean, there was production. I don't know why we're talking about that. You're the one who gave us all the Hulk Hogan stuff the treasure trove. Did you see Santa with muscles? I watched it last night.
Starting point is 00:24:13 To celebrate. So I you should really go to the tourism board here in Rochester and be like yeah I mean from out of time I want to know what I did last time. I watched this movie from 1996. Sorry, go ahead. I'll go get it. Shit movie. That's somehow Garrett Morris. We're put in the brochures. Garrett Morris lost a baton with it to be in it.
Starting point is 00:24:32 Oh, no. And Bentley Jr. said it. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. No, he deserved to be in it. He's terrible. Fair enough. I thought he was the best rubber in SpitalTap.
Starting point is 00:24:42 What do I know about? Yeah. All right, so this is the thing. they're picking apart these stupid plot points that aren't the things you should be picking apart. So apparently because this boy already had a pet dog, there's no reason for the dad to buy him an additional pet for Christmas. Also why are you bringing a mug wide over to a kid who already has a pet? Right, that is weird. Like, his dog is definitely like his best friend.
Starting point is 00:25:08 Like, it doesn't... It's almost strange. I was like, what if the dog and the magwai don't get a wall? What? I think the dog is in two scenes in the movie? Also, I want to point out to everyone, no matter how many pets I have, if you can get me a magwai, I will take it. Yes! I feel so good. I can't imagine watching this movie and being bogged down with that
Starting point is 00:25:28 Yeah, you're gonna have a dog. Hey, this is a dog. No, can you pause it? I need to process this So what's he gonna get rid of the dog? What's going on? Can I get that dog give that magwai to a magwiless child? Yeah, right or put that dog down That's the ultimatum. Those are your choices. What a dumb thing to talk about. And then again, were they just crack up over shit that's not funny at all. Getting him wet will cause him to breed. And yeah, asexually with school. Yeah, he's an ace icon. Yeah. Oh my god. Hey, tab, did you know that Gismo is a queer icon? I didn't know that until just now. Yeah, well, I mean, breeds
Starting point is 00:26:22 asexually, which is by the way, not the definition of asexual in this community. They're not breeders, those asexuals, right? It's not like in the LGBTQ plus aid apostrophe. It's not like in that alphabet world, the asexuals that want to have it all the kids. So I understand what the point of that is, but they were so excited about it. In fact, let's hear that reaction. A scream laughing. Yeah, let's hear that again. That's insane. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Oh my god. Oh my god. This is why we called them gay. All those years ago, this guy's way too fucking happy. I don't know, I think he's just fighting for any reaction with his friend here. Yeah, it's not entertaining what they're talking about.
Starting point is 00:27:07 So they really have to level it up and make a scene like they're saying some interesting. Who do you think the audience for this show is? Like who is listening to this and just like, yeah, why did they want to replace the dog and gremlins? Okay. Kismo is a queer eye comment. I have an answer for that. And it's because of the description talking about how it's a Peabody award-winning
Starting point is 00:27:27 nonprofit. A lot of these podcasts that nobody listens to are listened to by left wing media outlets and award show. You know, they're always winning awards. These shows that nobody listens to. Like thank goodness. We have this show that talks about how Gremlins is about the patriarchy and No one should ever watch it because the women don't have conversations with each other that don't
Starting point is 00:27:50 involve men for more than five minutes So you can't watch this movie ever again, and then there's a room full people plotting. This is a good podcast This is very great Should we do this grift? Should we start a podcast that just talks about society sucks? Isn't that what you're doing right now? All right. So apparently Gizmo is really into pop culture. And so they have some questions to ask about this.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Because Gizmo is obsessed with pop culture as well. Yeah. So when they reproduce, do they have gizmos knowledge of pop culture? Well, that's interesting. So I mean, what's interesting for? So first off, there is no answer to that question. The writers of Grubman's and sit back and go, okay, hypothetical guys, when the Grubman's do pro-create, whatever, you're looking into it way too much on this. It's just a fucking movie. That's the other thing they do on this
Starting point is 00:28:47 and we'll get to that in a minute is where they try to figure out like what the character is thinking or what the character would do. It's like, there is no character thinking character would do. Consumption movie as is. It's a fake shadow. I don't know if Gizmo is actually that into pop culture or he's just lived his entire life in a cage
Starting point is 00:29:04 in a basement in Chinatown and he's Seeing picture on TV for the first time. Yeah, and there's a fucking Barbie car. He fits in us. He's like sweet. Yeah, take this thing for a span to know his life These movies were not meant meant to be like Analyze for 40 years. You're meant to watch him for 90 minutes and go man That was a good time. You want to go get dinner now and then kind of forget about it. Right. It's a popcorn flick. Yeah. Right. So the idea they're trying to figure out what the characters would say in this situation
Starting point is 00:29:33 and what their motivation is is not sets. The characters have only ever said the words that you heard in that movie. That's all that they've ever done. So let's find out. Is this a feminist movie? But you brought up the central question. Is this a feminist movie? Probably not, but there are three. Is it a Bactyl test? I don't think so. I don't think so. Yeah, I don't think any of the female characters talk to each other, but yeah. Do you don't overpass the back, they'll test you with one job on the show. One fucking job.
Starting point is 00:30:07 No, do your research. She not know that. I don't know. I didn't really pay attention. What did you pay attention to? Well, I was scrolling through Instagram. I was watching the show. I saw all these cute dresses and things
Starting point is 00:30:20 that I bought at 400 out. I didn't really love the movie. Holy shit, Tab, you are on to something because I forget, maybe it's my age, maybe just because I'm fucking awesome at everything I do. When I focus on something, I focus on something. I forget that I sit next to my wife on the couch
Starting point is 00:30:36 who's scrolling through her phone the entire time we're watching a show or a movie. That's what everyone's doing now. No one actually watches anything. And then they turn to you. And they turn to you and they go, what is he doing there? Like, well, if you watch for like 10 fucking minutes, maybe you'd have an idea of what's going on.
Starting point is 00:30:52 Put down the dots, the info to watch for that fucking movie. Has Sam been over here for football? My dad's what it sounds like. My favorite example of that is we're watching that weird L documentary. And my wife halfway through looked up, she goes, I don't know weird L, I'm a data dated. Okay, you're done. Look at the fuck outta here.
Starting point is 00:31:16 All right, enough about my wife. She's a wonderful people. Let's move on. Let's talk about the action scenes in this movie. Cause one of the good things about this movie is that there are women in the action scenes. But there are like three main action scenes that I feel like are all with female characters. Absolutely. And the first is with the mom. Can you talk to me about that?
Starting point is 00:31:39 Oh my gosh. Can you talk to me about that? Because I didn't actually watch the movie. Oh my gosh. Can you talk to me about that? Because I didn't actually watch the movie. I can't imagine anyone asking me any question that I would answer with. Oh my gosh. Let me tell you. Oh honey.
Starting point is 00:31:54 All right, so what's he gonna say? Because Zavsie pumped up to talk about this scene where the mom fights the Gremlins. As she likes Stavs one of them, and it is like, it's not just a little stab in running ways. She like stabs them. It's, as you get scratched in the face,
Starting point is 00:32:12 like she is a warrior this woman. It's not a real person. I'm sorry to break the news to you, but the mom wouldn't actually react like this in this way. It's like it's a movie. Yeah, it wasn't improv. I mean, so far he does have more details than what she got from Wikipedia.
Starting point is 00:32:27 Well, yeah, I do want it. So what do he has to watch the movie with no more about it than cat does? I've seen it one time, five years ago, I know more about what's going on in Gremlins and then either one of these two people. Yeah, they talk about how she's a warrior for fighting off the Gremlins. Like, she got determined. Well, she's screaming through the first part of that scene. Yeah, screaming her head off and then gets a fighter flight response and ask the flight. Yeah, she just kind of accidentally starts killing them. I don't think that was her touch.
Starting point is 00:32:52 They're actually pretty easy to kill than I jump into blunders and shit. It worked and he's going to hit a button. They're kind of dumb. Works out well. So then they're talking about, and famously, there's this crazy seed in Gremlins, where the teenage chick talks about her dad dying in the chimney, because he wanted to, I mean, it's the dumbest thing you've ever heard. I don't know how that made it into the script,
Starting point is 00:33:19 but it's memorable. Everyone's talking about it. It's like the craziest dialogue you've ever heard. And so they explain, they're like, why would they use that as the reason why she hates Christmas? There's so many other reasons. And let's hear what those reasons could be. There's tons of reasons why people don't like Christmas.
Starting point is 00:33:35 You know what I mean? Consumers, holiday, et cetera, et cetera. We were, we were, we were, we were. Et cetera, et cetera. Are you fucking kidding me, my friend? I can list out a hundred reasons why you should hate Christmas. The reason why she hates Christmas for this reason is because it's in the fucking script
Starting point is 00:33:50 and they need the big reveal that the grandma's coming out of the fucking chimney. That's why she hates Christmas for that reason. You fucking moron. I like that it goes consumerism, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah. And the rest, you can't list a one thing and then expect us to connect with the other things are in our minds.
Starting point is 00:34:07 You're going to give me a pattern to go by or something consumerism, the high suicide rate, terrible things happen to your family members. You got to deal with them thinking about for the next couple of years, religion, etc, etc. There you go. That's better. Now I'm understanding why I hate Christmas so much. I appreciate it. The fucking music. Now I'm understanding why I hate Christmas so much. I appreciate it, Sam.
Starting point is 00:34:23 The fucking music. So they're also not understanding the genre of the movie Grimmons. Now Grimmons is a lot of different things. One of those things is a comedy, and they don't understand that. So yeah, those Grimmons show up, they throw out the window, it's insane.
Starting point is 00:34:42 Well, they Carol first, they show up and they're caroling to her, which I'm like, so you're not all bad. Are you or what's the deal? What's going on here? It's a joke. It's funny. The gravels are caroling. They're like, dress up and it's a joke, buddy. You don't get that. It's a little twist there. Yeah. It's fun.
Starting point is 00:35:00 I got you, bitch. So stupid. So he's just genuinely confused by it. Like that's a weird thing for a murderous creature to do. Yeah. Yeah. Like sometimes Freddy Krueger has a quip that's kind of fun. It's like, yeah, but this guy is out for revenge. Like why is he having fun with that? It's like, no, it's part of the movie. It's a joke.
Starting point is 00:35:20 All right. This is the last clip I have on here. And then I want to hear more about the episode that you listen to Tabith. There's anything worth talking about. But this is another example of, look it up, dummy, because she's the one bringing this up and not knowing the information. And did this come out before? It's must have come out after a Muppet Christmas Carol, but I feel like those scenes.
Starting point is 00:35:41 Maybe. Oh, I can wait. Maybe you're right. Hold on, let me find out real quick. Yeah. Let me get the research team by night. Let's do this. I know.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Fact check in. The Muppet Christmas Carol came out eight years after Grumwoods, 84 to 92. She was, well, this must have come out after that. I mean, why based on what? You know what? I didn't even know what she was talking about there. You listen to this episode. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:06 What was she even referring to that? I have no idea. She never finished that thought. This movie came out after the other one. It must have fucking patriarchy. Well, there's puppets and it's Christmas time. I think that's how she. Yeah. It's Christmas time.
Starting point is 00:36:19 So it's the same one ripped off the other. Okay. They were Christmas caroling. Okay. So this. We're going to do the dots here. Based on Gremlins. She thought it was a sequel. Look, it's stupid. Yeah, that's that's the it's it's it's Gremlins, Gremlins too. And then muffin Christmas Carol. It's a kind of a spin off. The trilogy unbelievable. Anything
Starting point is 00:36:40 else to have that you picked up on from the show that we should discuss. Ah, no, they're, they're just awful people that have nothing interesting to say about anything. The McNugget buddies are back, but this time they got a fresh look as part of the new Kerwin Frostbox at McDonald's. We're talking all new buddies dressed head to toe in the freshest fits all designed by the artist Kerwin Frost. So when you order the Kerwin Frostbox with your choice of a 10 piece McNuggets or a Big Mac meal, you'll get one of the flyest McNugget buddies to go with it. Think you can collect them all?
Starting point is 00:37:12 But up, up, up, up, up. For a limited time, while supplies last, at participating Canadian McDonald's. When you've got questions about cannabis, asking friends or searching the internet can leave you feeling a little hazy on the facts. That's why there's cannabis made clear.ca, your fact-based, unbiased, and current resource from the OCS. Get answers to questions like, how long does cannabis stay in my system and how do I talk to my kids about cannabis? Get clear on cannabis facts at canabasmeanclear.ca. Speaking of awful people. ["Panel's A-P-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E-S-E- I was going to do our holiday song parody contest.
Starting point is 00:38:10 We have some new entries and we got to pick a winner, but we got to move up Suthering John because we have a surprise guest appearance. A guy who's not been on the show in quite some time. Anthony Kimmel. Oh my god. They're here. What is happening? Hello. Yeah, back. I did a couple of shows, compound media and then I was streaming golf PGA 2K 2.3 and getting angry at a golf
Starting point is 00:38:38 game, which is pretty sad. I got the system up running and ready to stream and be on of course who are these podcasts. I by the way, the the Christmas songs, the Christmas songs are fucking brilliant, wonderful. We're playing them just as regular Christmas songs. Good for the celebrate the holiday. If you want to hang out with us and help us judge the contest, I have a finalist picked out. I would be happy. That's amazing.
Starting point is 00:39:10 And, and it's so great to see you back up. I know that had quite the health scare there. I heard you describe it on your first show back with Gavin. Bastard genetics, you know, they just, you reach my agent. They decide they need to rip your chest open and reroute some plumbing. Wow. But it's all good. Like I feel 10 times better than I did.
Starting point is 00:39:33 That's all beforehand. I'm glad to do that. Yeah, just got to go in and get cracked open like a lobster and they, uh, yeah, they should write up. Anthony explained this and I think you said it best. You go, if I had a choice, whether or not to have open heart surgery, I would not wanna do that. It seems daunting, it seems awful.
Starting point is 00:39:52 But you get to a point where the choice has been taken away from you. Yeah, you just have to do it. I don't think anyone... Yeah, I don't think anybody goes like, I don't know, maybe I'll just go in and get some heart surgery. Get some work done. Yeah, they don't think anybody goes like, I don't know, maybe I'll just go in and get some heart surgery.
Starting point is 00:40:06 Get some work done. Yeah, they tell you. They tell you. Heart surgery. They don't ask you to get it. They tell you you're getting it. And you, that's what you, you get on the roller coaster and hope they speed you out at the other end of the platform and say, enjoy the rest of your day here at the amusement
Starting point is 00:40:23 park. Well, it's fantastic that you're back and you're still with us. That was quite the scare and so great. Great to have you. And also it's great to have Stuttering Judd back because a lot has happened since our last episode. It's only three days ago. I know.
Starting point is 00:40:39 It's only three days ago. We talked about Stuttering Judd. But then he does a show on Wednesday, a political show. He's not getting any super chats. He seems angry. He's like, this is probably my last show ever. So then he puts out this goodbye episode Thursday morning and kind of nukes his channel, takes all his videos down,
Starting point is 00:40:57 takes his Patreon down, nukes everything, puts out a, you know, the tweet, should I stay or should I go? Everyone says just go, take your ball, take your shine box, I get to fuck it. Yeah, meanwhile, they're predicting the over under on when he's coming back. Yeah. And people are saying Christmas.
Starting point is 00:41:15 Nope, he's already back. So he comes back, he had a travel day, it's all it was. He was in Florida, he flew back to New York where his mom lives on Thursday. And then immediately on Friday afternoon, he's back up in podcasting again. And the crazy part about this is the fact that he thought he was gonna scare, mostly myself and Shuley,
Starting point is 00:41:40 that we were both gonna be like, no, the golden goose. Supply ahead a few more of those Ags, damn it. Which was not the case, which I'll show you in a second, but John's very proud of himself. And this is him asking if Shuley was crying about it. Did the shit where you have a heart attack? Because I was gone. He was freaking out. Oh no. Where's my money going to come from? What am I going to do with John Leaving? Is my daddy leaving? What am I going to do? No
Starting point is 00:42:15 stuttering John? What am I going to do now? I don't have any content. Let's see. Let's see what Shoei did on that Thursday when John said he was going away to an Uncle Rico show invited me on and This is basically What we had to say about that This Delvus is not friendly and one of the reasons it's not because of this guy W-A-T-P Carlyboy
Starting point is 00:42:43 T.P. Carly Boy. That's what has to see you. Come on. What is happening, fellas? Big day today. Congratulations. I mean, should I start reading off the people I want to thank right now or say what's happening? Did it mean or do we feel like, do we all feel like we liberated
Starting point is 00:42:59 the internet today, like the troops liberated France? First off, this is sound like people are going, surely what are we going to do now? How are we going to survive through this? Jen, we're selling the houses. We can, we can get by with a one bedroom apartment, right? We don't need a second. We'll find out. Not these. Now, I have to say, I know you guys are talking this morning about what is going to be back. The timing is suspicious, right? Yeah, the trip to the East Coast and somebody, maybe Bob or Mike said his mom may have told
Starting point is 00:43:37 him you can't do shows while you're here because she doesn't want them. She just wants them to enjoy something, maybe. I'm off. You know, so that's a thing. No, you know, there's a, there's a, there's a, Mike's a there, Mike's a there. No, but that is a pretty look when he left, when he taught us the lesson last time, it's because he had a strike for a week, right?
Starting point is 00:43:59 Right. And the time before that, he was working full time. He took on the long term substitute teaching kick. So there's always a reason that he leaves. And it's not because he's made the decision and the time before that, he was working full time. He took on the long-term substitute teaching kick. So there's always a reason that he leaves, and it's not because he's made the decision to take his ball and go home, which by the way, is the most child's bitch move possible.
Starting point is 00:44:13 Yeah. I mean, other than just yelling and screaming when somebody's even trying to make a point to show that you're a liar and just yelling and screaming and yelling and screaming, it's unbelievable. He just challenged me to a boxing match. Does this even just yelling and screaming and yelling and screaming. It's unbelievable. He just challenged me to a boxing match. Is this even going to happen?
Starting point is 00:44:27 No, not even sure. Damn it. He's yelling, Jim. All right. So I wanted to play that because it sets up how ridiculous John's victory lap of a return is he's he had this fantasy in his head that we were all going to freak out. And devil's nonsense would be like, come back. What's happened? Oh, no, how do we get by? Well, if it is you showed where he's screaming, like, what am I going to do? Where's my money
Starting point is 00:44:51 coming from? Where is daddy gone? I'm like, these are just questions. John asks himself daily. As his internal dialogue, the monologue is going off. Why are you an idiot? I can't keep a job? And why would you start taking that after one day? It's like, well, we got plenty of content. We can make it at least through the end of the month, maybe, you know, early February, then we're going to have to start planning for sweeps and maybe reformat and return to go back to chat. There's lots of stuff to talk about. I'm not sweating until, like a month before double con, too. Then I'm like, okay, now we gotta figure this out.
Starting point is 00:45:27 Speaking of Dabblecon, Missy B is joining the show as well. Oh, no. Just know it. Well, it's ready. He's also on the show. What's up, Missy B? Hi.
Starting point is 00:45:38 Good to see you, buddy. Very much more Christmasy upstairs. All right, so this is getting back to this is what John this is John's fantasy. This is the projection. This is what John was hoping would happen. And I can just imagine like he'd go, oh no, him and lady came on. Oh no, John's gone. Oh Jesus, what we gonna do? What we gonna do? So this is the teenage girl who's like, well, if I run away, then they're gonna miss me. I bet Mom and Dad are thinking right now,
Starting point is 00:46:16 we should have been so mean to her, because now she's gone, we wish we had her back. That's what John's doing right now. Every face he makes is a Renaissance painting. I abstract art. Yes, his cheeks are very soft too. Because eyes are crossing, his face is falling off. Is that a face?
Starting point is 00:46:35 Let me look at it from this angle. Is there a cut? Down there. They got the same people that made the puppets and gremlins. Yes. Yeah. All right. So maybe that actually, if John wants to get back They got the same people that made the puppets and gremlins. All right.
Starting point is 00:46:49 So maybe that actually if John wants to get back into show business, Gremlins three, the new batch, a new well-guarded Okay. So this is John's big victory when he comes back on the show. He's all excited and proud of himself. Look who's back. Look who's back. The God is back. The God is back. He didn't really think I was gonna leave.
Starting point is 00:47:19 No, if you did, you're a my ride. I may you run. Let's go to the phones So we start to show he starts getting calls to the house now this is fantastic because we didn't see the dynamic between John and his mom And I know I've been reading some of the chatter in the devil verse. Now that John's reacting everything that we say and we're reacting back, it's starting to get a little bit weird in my notness. I'm not as focused anymore on John's performative stuff that he's doing where he's acting out and he's going to box every once like this is all bullshit. He's doing this for a reason. What I'm fascinated by is this shit.
Starting point is 00:48:05 Where you see the interaction between John and his mom, he's getting these phone calls, he's yelling at his mom, this gets hilarious. We always wanted John, IRL, and this is how the closest we're gonna get. This is the reality show that we all want to watch. I also love that he goes, would you do more on it? You guys thought I was actually leaving?
Starting point is 00:48:21 No, not the phone out, please. We didn't have a chance to think about it. You can think. No one thought no one thought it was leaving, but more importantly, no one cared. No, he's coming back like it's like this great moment that a sports star or a rock band is coming out of retirement. No one. Oh my god. Roger Clements is in the box Yeah, that's what he thinks is happening right now where they're all the dabble versus like holy shit Try on the return He would be over the time that's the the the the the the the the
Starting point is 00:49:09 the the top of the steps he would be like the first landing just fully standing up the the the the the the the the
Starting point is 00:49:19 the the the the the the the the the the the the I'm gonna let you on the number one content of a podcast. No, we was gonna leave bullshit. All of us were predicting when he was gonna come back. Right.
Starting point is 00:49:32 And nobody had it past mid-January. I thought he was taking a Christmas vacation. I'm like, he probably just wants a vacation. He'll be back after the first. But he couldn't even do that because he's too poor. Mom's making pies in the kitchen. Yeah, mom, you're in the way. I know when we're cooking dinner, it's my fucking house.
Starting point is 00:49:49 That's my fucking house. All right, so. Also, why does he pick the most echoey as the fucking room like the kitchen? Like go in where there's fucking a rug. Right. His mom probably relegated him to the kitchen. Stay out of the living room.
Starting point is 00:50:04 This room is easy to clean. He's sitting on the plastic furniture. Yeah. The plastic crinkles on the couch when I try to podcast. He's so sticky. He sticks to it. He should be doing in my bedroom because it's two piles. It should be in the top of the door.
Starting point is 00:50:21 Closed on the plates. Oh, God. Can't get a mouse in here with the fuck But I know you're gear enough for a suicide joke there. We don't we don't die It is the answer on YouTube. I see oh On a white house on a lighting jokes All right, so this is no it's a is a standard Johnny would be a bruise side. It's happening right before our very eyes. Oh, it's 3 49. The afternoon I haven't had
Starting point is 00:50:54 a bill yet, but you think I'm an alcoholic. Literally what he said 3 49 and tequila doesn't count as being by the not. It's like. Now if I had three to Kila's over four hours, do the math. That's in teaching math. In the end, it's just cool. All right. And you can your body processes one drink. A train leave Chicago. And it's the bar opens at two on the train.
Starting point is 00:51:23 How many beers? Why drink at Denver? The podcast starts at four o'clock on the Eastern coast. What time does it start on the West Coast? I called the student and told his mother he's a great friend. Miss, I like your question because he'd be like, no, no, I'm asking you guys. What time would it be? I'm gonna get a gift. I gotta get a gift. I gotta get a point. You need to be. All right. So this is epic right here because this is big,
Starting point is 00:51:53 John's big triumphant return. We're at the beginning, the phone starts ringing because people have John's mom's phone number. And so John's now telling his mom how to manage this. I'm not gonna call every second. You gotta be taking off the hook. It's not choice. Tell a choice to call.
Starting point is 00:52:13 Call your cell phone. Just take it off the hook, please. Yeah. Because I was just gonna ring every second cause he's got no lives. Cause I was just gonna keep ringin' it. All right, thank you. Mommy dear. Thank you, thank you. Mommy dear.
Starting point is 00:52:26 Thank you, Mommy. You're welcome. She said you're an outside. She said it's almost a group. You know, they're like, yeah, you're doing your stupid fucking podcast. Rupit, you have to go to work. Rupit, you're gonna miss the bus.
Starting point is 00:52:41 Now, every fucking five minutes, my, I gotta do this now. Well, it's so funny because I gotta get you to chat so I can get you Christmas presents ordered. She thinks she's gonna get a phone call from one of her friends, a joycer, something like that. So he's like, tell joy's to call you on your cell phone and unplug the phones. This gets some funnier and funnier than where it goes out. So in this next clip, he's talking about Kevin Brennan called into Patrick Melton show.
Starting point is 00:53:10 Now, let me remind everyone, John does know Patrick Melton is. He has no idea that he has a show. He wouldn't know where to find it. But what Kevin calls it is bashed. Is surely all the sudden John knows all about it. And you know, never say anything to say about Patrick Melton, trashing his kids. John never did a song about him. Yeah, right. And now he knows all about it and you know never say anything to say about Patrick Melton trashing his kids. John never did a song about him. Right. Right. And now he
Starting point is 00:53:26 knows all about it. And it hands Kevin Britain. I know Kevin and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. You're more on it. But yeah, he called it he called it the fatty patty show. And you know, and he just said the shit way it has never done anything on his own Might be Joyce. Oh my god No, you didn't just go like that and just leave it out the wall. It's now. He's answered the phone From your phone Probably Joyce
Starting point is 00:54:05 Why is Johnny Coursing at me? Those are the cowards. Okay. Chuck can never frame himself correctly, either. He's always, there's no headroom in his shots. You'll notice that John just said the word, now those are the real cowards. What happened? And we documented this on WTP,
Starting point is 00:54:26 but I didn't get to follow up yet because it just happened where they had a shoolly and zen and Mike Morris were all trying to go on a show and John's going, I don't see them. I don't see them in stream. I can't pull them up. So they proved they were on there. So then John had to come out and say, I'm just bad at technology. I didn't know, and I scroll down to find the videos. So we had this whole thing, he was explaining why he's not a coward, and his chat was just slamming him. Coward, coward, coward, and that really bothers John. Cause he wants to box all of us.
Starting point is 00:54:53 He's not a coward, he's not afraid of anything. So now you can tell that's what's on his mind when he's using those words. That's the coward, the people call him a house. My mom, 86 year old woman, that's the coward. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no year old woman. That's the coward. Oh, no, John You're that's not a cowardly thing that they have it's a dick boob baby, but Not when you pull it off like this because You just saw John answered that phone and just goes oh, I'll show you. He just answered it
Starting point is 00:55:17 Well, when the person hangs up on the other end the phone starts chirping. I know this is all technology Yeah, but you can't just leave a phone like that. Well, these are also their wireless cordless phones. Like, I don't have a phone in my house. No one has a phone in their house. It's like a very corded phone. Yeah, as opposed to so he wants you to take it off the hook, but that only works with the phones where that it's courted and it's when you plug it, it's on. With these wireless phones, they turn themselves off after a while and that's why the phone keeps ringing. The only way to stop this is to go unplug every single one.
Starting point is 00:55:55 No, you can actually turn the ringer off. Well, don't you? You can do that too. And you can turn the ringer off. So it doesn't make any noise. Yeah, it could be. I cracked the handle on the side and tell Sarah not to forward any calls to us.
Starting point is 00:56:10 Well, so John never does figure out how to get past this. You're going to see yells is my army's got a bunch of instructions for. But so we actually had a really good solution to this. They go, John, use your cell phone to call your own phone number and then just leave it there. He's like, oh, I guess I could have done that. What Watson come quick, I need a cause. Do we Alexander Graham Belljunks here, people?
Starting point is 00:56:41 Why are they offering solutions? I could watch this all day. Oh, this is great. This is amazing. Careful, John. Don't fall. There we go. I answered the toaster oven. Good boy. They take the batteries out. Yeah, watch this. Oh, I'm not. I am. Crazy.
Starting point is 00:57:04 We've been out smart of the game. The base station is what the phone is actually connected to and that's what rings. Of course it's going to ring again. You can't imagine this character. How are you doing this? I don't understand. I'm the de energ. I don't understand. All right. I'm the de-energizer. This is, that buddy got shit on me. This is where John has a little self-awareness and realizes that this is King of Comedy.
Starting point is 00:57:35 Look, there is not a chance tonight. There's not a chance in hell. Mom, you're going to keep coming in now. You're going to just go. Johnny, I don't like it when you use chance in hell. Mom, are you gonna keep coming in now? You're gonna just go. Johnny, I don't like it when you use the word hell. No, no, no, no, but you just, you know, I'm like, you're seeing me over there. Yes, I can, it just, you know, I'm saying stress. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Make me a hot bucket. I feel like, I feel like, uh, De Niro and the king of Karamite. No, I'm stop bothering me. Yeah, see? I'm doing a show here. Exactly. He's throwing him out. Don't worry.
Starting point is 00:58:11 I'll take the batteries out of this one. Oh my god. It's still ringing. This is hilarious. You want to go grab a hammer? And now it's ringing from upstairs. You got to unplug that one, ma'am. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:58:24 God. You hear to unplug that one, my God. This is me if I take the go upstairs and just take it off the hook and close it. I can't. AT&T and cancel the five turn. I should have thought these losers are going to do that. You should have. You know, you would have given us a loose in the stress mess. It's like better call Saul Chuck. He's gonna look for that ring
Starting point is 00:58:47 and tear the entire his mom plays a heart. Jesus Christ. Although it must be nice to go back visit mom and have a mug that has a handle on it. Yeah. Five lit a deep hole. But yeah. I like that.
Starting point is 00:59:04 I think it was Mike Morse, we were playing the clip earlier who thought maybe his mom said, don't podcast from the house. It's not, we're just trying to get together a family and enjoy the holiday. She should have, because this is ridiculous. He's got her running around. Go upstairs, unplug that one, close the door, then you got to find the other phone. I like how paranoid he's getting about noises. Yeah. He just here to do to do to do. She poor lady fell down the stairs and making. Okay. Probably she's probably one of the people calling.
Starting point is 00:59:31 She's got herself on there in her pocket and she's just hitting the call button. She's annoying. I'm even further. My mom's life alert is trolling me. Yeah, they. You press the button. It makes a static. There is a theory come too close to equipment
Starting point is 00:59:46 There's a theory John's mom is in a vest and we'll show up on okoreko or whtp one of these days How she trolled them and it's great. Julie's a given her directions. Yeah, she was talking about going the kids together Expecting a call from Joyce. Oh my god. Put a battery back in the microwave and sit it for six minutes. All right, well, this continues on. Good. It's vodka.
Starting point is 01:00:24 Too funny. So desperate. So fucking pathetically desperate. They got a fucking Bava the goat. Do you hear me? You got to unplug all the formulas. Okay.
Starting point is 01:00:39 Mom. Mom, you got to unplug just a plug them. Okay. Let'm blogging. Okay. Let's go out. I don't climb up the lines. My mind cut the whole line. Grab your spike shoes in the building. All right, don't cut the internet one.
Starting point is 01:01:00 I need that. So after he says she's not going to figure this out. She does. She's bad with technology, just like me. And he's still yelling at her to unplug the phones. Great. But I'm sure they're gonna keep calling. Yep, there it goes. My, my you got to plug all the phone.
Starting point is 01:01:21 You should just take a call at this point. Like, what if I run into the show otherwise? gonna show it to the right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. How many fucking fucks? Like a night of nation. That's Putin on line five. We need to take this. Okay.
Starting point is 01:01:38 So the problem is John's trying to have this big return to podcast. He's the goats. He got over on Shuley and Lady Kmart He's coming in and they're just like oh, it's fucking hell. I'm taking a win out of himself At this point John can't even handle the distractions anymore You're driving me to drink a Deliveration show up now. All right. I'm gonna rip that phone right at it. I hit the audience. It's smack you over the head
Starting point is 01:02:12 with it like the fucking Don Rickl scene in casino. He's gonna beat her with the telephone. Told you not to plug it. Can't have these distractions. It should turn the camera and see a bank of phones like on a telephone. So try and raise money, John. I'm going to pray. I'm going to call in.
Starting point is 01:02:38 Get your messages in the battery, John. Oh my God. Please give it to me. Please do I beloved beloved Chatter. The troll upon the troll. The calls are coming in. Let's go to the tote board. So you give $10 will send you a tote bag.
Starting point is 01:02:59 It's stuntering John tote bag full of cash, shit and empty quesca. Actually, I need the cans This might be one of my favorite clips of John the entire year. He's done a lot of great clips this year This is John's big return show to rubbing in all of our faces faces. He just locks her in the room. She just needs to get her med rocking chair in the attic. With all the phones. Oh my God! This is hilarious. Like he doesn't understand how funny this is.
Starting point is 01:03:57 I thought the DC trip was gold. It's so unfair. I was expecting maybe one or two rings before, you know, and that was funny. Is it this is going on ring number eight here? No, I mean, not even here. It's just a chair. I'm never left hard. The chair's doing good, though.
Starting point is 01:04:20 Yeah, broco bomb is killing it. How's my shoulders bigger than a bread box? Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. He's got fucking his mom's house is like a 1800. That's fantastic. That is the cleanest toaster oven I've ever seen.
Starting point is 01:04:43 Yeah, she's probably gonna have to do it every day. All right, so John's getting pissed now Fucking hell Pick up like you know what just yes yes end the ship. Pick it up. Have fun. I don't know. This is fucking far away. You got to remember the one he tried that. And then the person hung up and started chirping at him. So he doesn't know what to do now. He's no one in the option.
Starting point is 01:05:16 I could have been sure he's still no. He's still no. He's been a rafter then. So John get out. The call is coming from inside the house. They interacted them. John get out. The call is coming from inside the house.
Starting point is 01:05:31 The funny, you know, he used to talk for years about like getting a special phone system to have callers and do a show. Right. Just book and pop that sucker out on speaker phone like you're on just delivering John. I can't. Yeah. What's wrong with it? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:39 Yeah. Interact with them a little bit. But instead every time he's getting up and going to talk to his mom and going upstairs and closing doors, he's getting winded, he's getting sweaty. As you can tell, the guy wants to fight everyone. He's so out of shape. And now he's, you know, I'm not saying anything, that's kind of how I felt in the summertime. Yeah. Maybe Stutcher should get the old little intervention. Yeah, yeah, sweating and getting a huffin and puffin. I don't think it's even an improvement. I think it's just as brains working at full capacity. How do I solve this problem? How do I come in out of a fear? Telephones ring and you shut off three. How many telephones are still ringing? John, you answered the phones.
Starting point is 01:06:25 Oh, buddy. You answered the phone for years. You use your brain. That's right. He's the phone's trainer. Oh, my God. He should be his element right now. Sturgeon, sturgeon, sturgeon, can you hold?
Starting point is 01:06:37 He could be flexing. Hold on to your skills. Yeah. Oh, shit. How about the stuttering, John flexes he could do and have done? Like, this is the one that he could least dive into and lean into. He doesn't want to lean into anything.
Starting point is 01:06:49 So the can do his face. Yeah. A little spot. Eddie, like working with whatever situation you're handed, but no, he can't answer the phone and put him on or resolve this. He's when he's when adversity rises, I sit down. All right. White might fall ahead off. So I just I love the facial expression here because he is so frustrated with what's happening. He looks like in the still you had there for us off the bus in Conair. You know, I'm gonna give a brief. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:25 That face right there. It's disgusting. That looks like a muppet. Okay. There was some beer on it. Oh my god. So guys, please help children with the cleft palate. He's blocking Phoenix all of a sudden.
Starting point is 01:07:45 None of that affects you. He can come now. A porcelain veneer is good for you. I've lost all the mind teeth due to drinking. That's why it looks like this kind of meat. It's like berry ribs. But now I have chocolate teeth and they look much nicer. All right, guys, please let's all listen to this next clip because this is where we find
Starting point is 01:08:12 out who John really is. This is not his mom's fault, okay? None of this is his mom's fault. This is all John's own doing that this is happening. Mom, can John unplug that phone too? I don't know you got 20 fucking phones in here Don't curse at your mom, man Yeah, it sounds like it's up dead of yep, I think it I think it's Joyce Yeah, I think it I think it's Joyce. Yeah, I think as much
Starting point is 01:08:47 Unplugged Oh my god, so now he's just yelling orders to his wife. What a fucking phone's it here as if She looks a very peaceful life. I'm sure it's not yeah. Yeah, she said we were following you I just read two dollars if I could know, and you get phones and ringing, you know, there's a very important podcast. I'm gonna make 18 or maybe even $23. I'm sure she know how to unplug his life support system. She get that the first shot. I think what's so fucked up is he,
Starting point is 01:09:24 he knows he's live doing this. And he has no shame talking like this to his mom live. And does he think people like, oh, you know, you remember when you were younger and it was cool to talk back to your like to show up to your friends or something. Right. He's still in that mindset as we know, but it's just like that's so as he's just a despicable human being. We'd all love to see a we'd all love to see a wooden spoon come into frame and smack
Starting point is 01:09:48 him over that fucking rolling gun. So that old school mom discipline. All right. He looks like 14 hours in labor with you and you're going to talk to me like that on your podcast. He looks like throw mama from the train. If she was just happy to pray right now and she sounds like it. Oh my God, what a nightmare. But no, missyb, that's a great point. And that's the thing that when I was
Starting point is 01:10:12 saying earlier, I love to see the real world of John. I don't like to see his performative thing he's doing now on the internet where he's playing this character and he's overdoing it. But this is the real John. He gets frustrated. He takes it all out and everyone else. Never once is he self-reflect. You know, we could say, guys, I'm going to pause the show. I'll be back in 10 minutes, let me just get this figured out. Like there's so many things that you do. We can't handle it.
Starting point is 01:10:33 Just turn off his camera, go unplug all the phones, come back, do his fucking go. But he like, he just causes chaos. Like he always, he's like a magic eight ball that only has bad idea. A tragic eight ball. A tragic eight ball. I'm just going to the Capitol. Shouting in my mom, she couldn't even figure it out. What where the fuck his phones are.
Starting point is 01:10:58 I got a crazy theory. Okay. Maybe this is performative. There's no mother. He's pulling off camera. It's like a normal bait thing. He's an ordinary bait. Yeah. And trollequisming it. Yeah. Well, you know, the social security checks keep coming. So he's going to keep up this facade.
Starting point is 01:11:14 You know, he is one of those people that would do that. Dude, if that's the way the saga adds holy shit, I'm not rooting for it, which makes me a bad person. If it was a split personality You think that mom would take over and clean his fucking apartment Good point. That's good point. All right. Would you have to have a personality before it can split? Now this is John blaming everyone but himself of course and I don't care look. It's a funny beginning who was calling Fuck it funny. It is funny
Starting point is 01:11:52 My poor mother there who's running around trying to unplug Happy happy guy know an 80 year old something You're yelling around trying to unplug Is it a funny you just saw that transition so quickly, where at first, he's like, all right, I get it. I'm the butt of the joke. And then immediately, because he's a narcissist,
Starting point is 01:12:11 it kicks into, but I'm the victim. And you're victimizing my mom. How can I spin this? Yeah. I gotta watch that. But he also pivoted from cursing his mom to now saying my poor mother. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 01:12:20 It's like you're the only one. Poor mom, because he's a liar. Terrizing her. She just wants to talk to Joyce. Joyce at all. And I don't care. Look, it's a funny beginning. Whoever's calling, fuck it.
Starting point is 01:12:34 It's funny. It is funny, but it's my poor old mother there who's running around trying to unplug phones. So you happy? Are you happy you got an old, an 80 year old something? Run around trying to unplug phones. So you happy? Are you happy? You got an old an 80 year old something? When the round trying unplugged phones. Unplugging phones try not do or do not. There is no. Well, you have to like push that little tab down and then for the same time.
Starting point is 01:13:06 And when you're 80 and you have room with Twitt arthritis, that's a difficult motion to try and be making over and over and over again. Yeah, I do remember John had a plug in an ethernet cord into his modem. And he got back and he was all winded and we were making fun of him. He's like, yeah, but it's on to my bed. I have a lift. And he was all winded and we were making fun of him. He's like, yeah, but it's under my bed. It's not a complicated procedure. No matter what's going on, it was an optical course to unplug a fucking phone. It's a solvarytel first. Yeah, he had to move three hundred thousand boxes to get to the point where he'd get under the bed.
Starting point is 01:13:40 Yeah, I can't turn off the phones because he's used to the phone company doing it for The lights just turn off the phones because he's used to the phone company doing it for The lights just turn off eventually Everything shuts off after a while When the lights turn off that's when you make the paint that's a Yeah, happy They make you feel better inside. All that question. Are you feeling all Christmasy inside? You know I am now.
Starting point is 01:14:10 I hate Christmas. Got my some of your own mother running around. No you do. Yeah. Unpugging phones dickhead. That's going to stop them. Oh, damn. Oh, damn.
Starting point is 01:14:20 Oh, damn. Oh, damn. Stuttering John. Always damn. He's always damn. Oh, gross man. Can I just say, because I've seen this a couple of times now recently, when you do this, you wipe your nose,
Starting point is 01:14:32 don't use that surface on anything else on your face. That's because she was dumb. Yes, it's the last thing you've heard that. Who would I? Is there like an asbestos team to handle that double bag and it's right now like every tissue He has hasn't be handled like toxic weights like the end of you I'm spotting they they bolt down and steal dome and then yeah, yeah, fresh arise the room
Starting point is 01:14:59 All right, so now this his super chat is now going to explain it We were 20 minutes hit at this point with people just calling him over. You're going to explain to him how he could have. What an intro. Yeah. Fantastic. Call yourself and leave it on. Don't hang up.
Starting point is 01:15:14 Oh, call from myself. That's kind of true. Yeah, I could have done that. Yeah, no, what does it make a lot? I don't know. I don't know. I don't really see any 100 phones in his house. LDO below. Then put a five bucks.
Starting point is 01:15:26 Are you two stupid figures? I had to start because, no. Yeah. No, we are plug one of them. And then I take the one and I leave it on, but then it keeps going all over the fucking place. I understand the gram dumbbell. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:40 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because are you two stupid to figure this out? No, I tried to think and it didn't work I was just wrong at it that's the definition of No, no, I'm not stupid. I'm stupid He's so stupid our boy purple down in Florida
Starting point is 01:16:01 So stupid. Our boy purple down in Florida. He's a member of two months. Thank you. He says, I wonder if John chugged all 96 course light. I sent him before he left Florida. Skull. Yeah. Purple with some cases and cases of beer to to John's house.
Starting point is 01:16:17 He doesn't drink. He got to send him he. Those poor Uber drivers. Now he's as a drunk like Like once he runs out of his primary poison, he'll drink it anything. Yeah. Has anyone done that 96 peers to 96 tears? Isn't that a song?
Starting point is 01:16:34 If we have that, anyone done that. Well, I don't think that's a good. That would be a good one. Drinking 96 beers. All right. So I'm going to get off the phone. 99 cans of course in my bed. 99 cans of course. If one of them happens to still be full.
Starting point is 01:16:51 99 cans of course in my bed. I'll get rid of it. I'll get rid of it. I'll get rid of it. Picking it up from the floor. All this is one of those happy ones. All right. So now this is John's those happy ones. All right. So now this is John's big reveal explaining why he left the dead overs and why we're also stupid. But I'll tell you something.
Starting point is 01:17:12 I was traveling yesterday. Yeah. Yes. Wow. Going to see my dear mom. So I did a show. I did a show. So I figured, oh, let me get this shit where you're freaking out.
Starting point is 01:17:27 Thinking I'm gone. Oh God. I get that. It's so funny because you guys heard what we said immediately when he left. We're like, well, it's a convenient time for him to leave. He's going back home. We knew all of this was going on. And he's asking like, I got over on these guys, these idiots.
Starting point is 01:17:44 Every freeze frame with him, you want to throw a fish in his mouth and pat him on the head. This is like this is like one of those corporate April fools pranks where they like post some YouTube video about they're like we're McDonald's we're not serving burgers anymore. Aren't we so clever? Okay. Yeah, we saw through it. We know. So now he got us. He's talking about Alex Stein.
Starting point is 01:18:10 Alex Stein sent him a text, but that's not good enough for John, as you'll hear him describe. Of course. Got Alex Stein. Alex Stein. Look, you're a good dude. I'm not trusting you here. I'm not trusting. I'm not trusting you here. I'm not trusting you. But I texted 10 times, you know, respond.
Starting point is 01:18:27 Then suddenly, I don't know where you text me. And you go, John, you know, it's good that you leave. And I saw you tweet, how about you text me back and throw a text to you? People look odd. So you're odd. John just said, he texted him 10 times without getting a response.
Starting point is 01:18:45 And I had this in my notes before I knew Anthony was gonna be on here. If I text someone wants to know get a response, I'm done. I get it. Yeah, you're done. So I get like, I get the text buzzing go away. Right.
Starting point is 01:18:56 Yeah. Actually, the more times you text, the less likely someone wants to respond to you at that point. It gets us to see desperate and weird. And I've met a lot of people at different varying levels of fame Since I've been doing who are these podcasts and my people I text with and there's just a certain etiquette to it So I just do people like Alex Stein who I text with all the time. He's very busy He's got a lot of shit going on and he doesn't need the nonsense and it's stuttering John's fucking the world
Starting point is 01:19:20 Oh, oh she want to come up my show and you can just do my show I just sit there and read super chance and drink. No, I own show. He's not just in bad waiting, staring at his phone. Come on. How to hope he texts me. This is this is great advice for you guys out there. Texting girls. One, one and done. One and done. Yeah. Leave him alone. Desperate and stupid. Pretty much something up if you're gonna be a... Here's the deal. Yeah, like John. One time before you start drinking.
Starting point is 01:19:50 You don't hear back. Get really drunk and then just start texting away. Yeah, you zoom out, Phil. You don't even know. That's Chad Zumaq's style. You want to mix some threats in there? You want to make sure she knows. Do some hard drugs too. Wavre between like like very, very aggressive and then like weeping
Starting point is 01:20:10 apologies. I'm sorry. I love the last text. Threaten out alive of yourself. These are the things the girls are supposed to. You know how many tweets they delete like Chad and John, they delete tweets afterwards because they made them when they were drunk. Imagine like you can't delete the text, but imagine how many texts they send people that they wish they could delete the next day. So it's got to be a nightmare getting a text from John. That's a good point, Anthony. I didn't think about that.
Starting point is 01:20:39 I don't delete tweets because I don't tweet things that I'm like, oh, shit, I should have tweeted that. I think about it before I hit send. And the fact that guys like Chad and John delete shit all the time, what are they sending in emails and text messages? Yes, that they can't take that. What haven't we seen?
Starting point is 01:20:57 Only imagined. All right, I have one more clip from the show. And this is a more of John's fantasies. This is what John wanted to have happened again. It's a teenage girl who's claiming she's gonna on a live herself and then you'll see and then you'll be sorry. But this is pathetic. But I hope you're entertained.
Starting point is 01:21:17 I don't care as long as I'm telling you. I don't want to give a shit. Okay. So I was just hoping Lady K. Maun in the shitway. Well, like, oh no, John's gone. Oh, thank you. What do we do?
Starting point is 01:21:31 What do we get to do? I mean, John, he's putting food on the table for us. He's the only guy that's actually done something. We haven't done anything. And now, and now we can, oh my God, is he gone? Has he left us? Has he left the devil, verse? Let's call John's mom. Let's inject that soul to John's life. John, we gotta be. Can John come out and play? Coach John. Well, they're not calling John.
Starting point is 01:22:07 That's he retired for 12 hours. Yeah, they're calling because he started a show and they're like, this will be funny. And it is. It's very funny. You got to what's his mom thinking, like listening to him babbling like this. I mean, she's 80 years old, so I'm sure she doesn't really know what. It's like one of those countdowns before you like go on vacation. She's like, I'm sure she doesn't actually know what a good podcast would be or a fan one.
Starting point is 01:22:33 I don't know. Maybe she does, but she's got to be listening to this going. My son's a fucking idiot. So loser. This is your political show. Well, I love the fact that John's not only fantasizing that Shuleen, I are going to miss him and be all upset that he's gone. But then we also in that fantasy we just heard. We also go, John was right all along. He's the star. He's the celebrity. We've got nothing. We can't even get through life without John being around. Damn, it's Shule. We overplayed our hand on this one. John got us good. Well, he zigs and zags back and forth from I'm a victim.
Starting point is 01:23:06 I'm a victim too. Well, as long as it's entertaining, really, it's still entertaining as your mother's being harassed. That's fine. He's pretty time. I'm sluggier for a super chat like. And this again is like Rupert Pupkin and King of Comedy when he was on the Jerry Langford show and Jerry brought
Starting point is 01:23:25 his high school principal in. And he goes, Rupert, we just want to say you were right and we were wrong. That whole fantasy aspect of everybody finally realizing that John is the pinnacle, John is the star of everything. And, you know, we're all just players. And Anthony, we're not even like looking into this. He's saying it out loud. He's saying we're not speculating that he might be fantasizing about this. He is on a show. Yeah, he's literally saying, I hope that God, Julia, said that I'm gone and we're not to be don't care. Yeah. And with the analogy of the runaway teen, the teen actually runs away for a while. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 01:24:10 You got to make the word for it. It's like, it's to be worried for him. And you can't come home with 7 p.m. And be like, did you miss me? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's actually a rug rats episode.
Starting point is 01:24:19 There's a rug rats episode where Angelica runs away. And the father goes to where she ran away. I guess it was like Tommy's house. And he didn't know she was missing, but she just started crying and running in and he's like, what, what are you doing here? I didn't know you were even gone. That's what it was. It's John. Yeah. If it's the teenage runaway situation, they wouldn't have even called the cops yet. Like I'm sure, you know, she's, she'll be back. He thought people after a day, two days, even three days, were going to be completely distraught that he wasn't doing a show. You know, he had to have been on the flight up from Florida, just like laughing to him.
Starting point is 01:24:56 So I really got those losers. They're going to be shitting their pants. And I was like, I'll still decide I need to go change pants. I hope the plane doesn't crash. Then I wouldn't get the opportunity to let them know that they fucked up. All right, so there is this devilish at Christmas that who put this together? Cardiff and Tookie. It was out in their show, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:23 I haven't seen it yet. But before we started the show today, producer Chris, like, have you seen this? I'm not gonna play the whole thing, but I wanted to promote it, because apparently it's pretty good. We'll start it here. And if you guys have any more information on this, you can let me know.
Starting point is 01:25:37 Welcome to Storytime, we're Stuttering John. As you can tell, I'm very much in the holiday spirit. And so, very ready to read one of my favorite holiday books when the Daveler Shit Christmas by Dr. Steve. Every poo down in Pooville loved Christmas. But the Daveler who lived on top of Pooville did not. The Daveler hated Christmas. The whole Christmas season.
Starting point is 01:26:00 Nobody likes him, and it's for good reason. It could be his looks, such a horrible sight. It could be his smell and refusal to wipe. I think the most likely reason of all when he uses the bathroom. He shits on the wall. But whatever the reason, if he could, he would sue. Another lonely Christmas Eve, hating the the poos drinking down a can of course and then drooling on the ground thinking how to shit on all the people in town.
Starting point is 01:26:33 All right, well, so definitely go check that out. Yeah. That is when the dabblers shit Christmas narrated by Stuttering John, I'd be dabblers channel. And if you're just listening to this, there's some great, it looks like it's probably AI art, but there's some great Stuttering John as the Grinch art to go hog with us. How much do you want to bet that he's going to try to somehow find a lawsuit with this? I'm like, Daddy, why are you using my voice?
Starting point is 01:26:58 That is not really my voice, that is, but he's just, he's going to find something. I'm going to team up with the Grinch, and we're going gonna sue your ass We're gonna get a great who lawyer The cat in the hat is gonna be part of it. Yes. All right guys I want to talk about the stuttering John saw and not so the John the how a day WTP song parody contest, they could be anything. Mostly it's about.
Starting point is 01:27:28 Stuttering John. No figure. And since we're just playing the Grinch, I thought I'd start off with a new submission that came in from John himself sent this to us. And I appreciate him participating in this competition. He really, or just Carl, can I interrupt you for just one second? I have got to split. I've got a other commitment. But it's great being on the show. Thanks for having me on.
Starting point is 01:27:51 And happy to come back anytime. Happy festivists everyone. And enjoy your Christmas parody songs. Here's what I don't get is what's the URL. Canceled. It's canceled. Yeah. Never mind. Like the week after I did your show last, we ended the show. Damn, theed. It's canceled. Yeah. Then never mind.
Starting point is 01:28:05 Like the week after I did your show last, we ended the show. Damn, the 50 episode is strong. Yeah. Well, so we still put out some stuff now and again, but I've retired from the internet. I like my new life of like quiet peace and blowing glass. And yeah, that's right.
Starting point is 01:28:20 Which one? What's your boyfriend's name? See what I did there? I got a cute voice. It was funny. Alright, bye to have. Good to see you, buddy. See you guys. I haven't got one to take to cover later.
Starting point is 01:28:30 Alright, the great tab bird ever. Wish I could call you. Uh, was the night before Christmas and all through the flat. Lots of creatures were stirring, even some rats. The cockroaches of the body, they danced on the floor. They had plenty to drink with all the cords. The dishes were stacked in the sink with no care. In hopes an adult soon would be there.
Starting point is 01:29:06 And I in my undies unable to stand, I started to pass out with my cock in my hand. As I slowly blacked out drunk and have dead, lawsuits and super chats danced in my head. super chats dance in my head. When out of the street that down rose such a clatter, I sprang through my bloody shitty bed to see what was the matter. Away to the windows, I stumbled and gleamed, opened the blinds of what did I see. A door dashed, struggling to get to his feet. He tripped over some beer cans that I left by the street. He dusted himself off and ran to my door. I ran out of beer so I hope he brought more. He knocked
Starting point is 01:29:55 and yelled. Door dash. And I yelled back, what is it? Thirty racks and cookies, fried chicken and biscuits. What beer, hell I asked as he let out of Rome it's course John your favorite now can I go home? Yes, it's all covered I'm going away now He ran up the street away from my chanting I Figured he must be going home to his family. Since my family hates me, and I'm all alone, I cracked open a beer, and read this short call.
Starting point is 01:30:33 Attached to the bag with a small Christmas card. In red, Merry Christmas, you stuttering retard. From the devil's. Alright. Alright, that was not actually a stuttering job. That was our buddy Sonnery John that was everybody circus really amazing who put that in there. Yeah, that's that was very funny. It was much too clever to be John obviously. There was no dribbling drool wet slapping sounds Yeah. Yeah. The AI can't even fathom how disgusting John is when he speaks to add in all the fluid liquids. We're not there.
Starting point is 01:31:12 Yeah. We're not there. Yeah. We're close. You know, I meant to bring this up earlier when I was on Uncle Rico yesterday, I brought this up, but you know, we're talking about John's fake degree from NYU. And then John proved that he had it because he had the framed diploma. Well, it turns out these are very easy to come by and I have my own NYU diploma. I also graduated in 1989. Of course, uh, double, I'll, and she can tell how it is what I got my degree. You showed him. So oh my what the technology is what I got my degree. You showed him.
Starting point is 01:31:45 So, oh my God, that is hilarious. Dr. Steve said the way he the smug look he had when he's holding it up. Huh? I didn't graduate. No, you didn't. Was it in paper? Was it framed? I don't remember.
Starting point is 01:31:58 It was bubble wrap. It was framed. It was framed. I got this one will be framed soon. That's going up on the wall. For sure. Of course. So fucking funny. All right. Oh, he's great This is coming in from Mr. Jiki who has sent in another song parody or two. This is all a lot for Christmas. I am humble as can be.
Starting point is 01:32:37 I don't care about Lady Kay or W-A-T-P. I am broken, have no job. So please join my Patreon. Watch out, or I'll soon. Oh, oh, oh, I want Oh, Christmas! Yee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he- How stupid can I be? NETO! Never graduated from Who you'll be Never sit here
Starting point is 01:33:28 I don't need to prove to you twice With official seal transcripts Amazon brought me your bogus count To fit certified Akspantholastic egg drunk Now I can't get it up I need a little bit different I spent all last decade drunk Now I can't I get it up I need a blue shoe
Starting point is 01:33:51 I want a blue Christmas seat Blue shoes Blue shoes Baby, oh, I need super chats This Christmas, I are not making any Doh I already blew my pension thank God for the two-natured I just shit the bed again I will blame my hammer Roll it I'm such a fucking loser that's why I'm such a fucking loser. That's why I am an employee. And now I'm crying on my street.
Starting point is 01:34:30 Thank for that I'm not on me. With my Dutch boy head on. I'm talking to you all so full Christmas. Oh Friends are dream kid right now With this Live on cloud nine How know I'm back in online How the hell does Carl think so much more than me When I'm a world famous, so laboratory Oh, I want everything for Christmas
Starting point is 01:35:14 I am passed out on the floor I just want to see ten cases Of course that's right outside my door Who I did by peon and old break? I'm starting to get the shapes Better grab a room, forget it all I don't want for Christmas It's true
Starting point is 01:35:40 Coo-coo It's a cool Very good Mr. G Lee Molly that is a good one Oh, son, damn it. I like it He's just didn't care toward the end It's just blatant insults to John I'm stupid I'm an idiot I. I'm going something with something. Brilliant. Wow. Background oz.
Starting point is 01:36:16 One more new submission. Then we'll talk about the finalists. So this is a short one. It comes in from the W ATP 500 hour fugitive in our discord. And this is called jingle. Oh, you're a gentleman. Yeah, this is jingle bell, Jen. Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell, Jen. A Rochester tune, a cordon tune, a soft podcast with her husband, Carl.
Starting point is 01:36:39 And as to things not, Jen, Jen goes, her life free goes Just wish she had to rest. When a jingle dropped, they at least stopped. Calm, firm, stop and effort, that's Hitting up, giggling, lunging, stutato, Threatening, reeling, and hollering. Chompers keep showing off.
Starting point is 01:37:05 Frosted tips. Come for him to be shown. All right. So the rhythmic skills of Wesley Willis there. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Leslie Willis.
Starting point is 01:37:19 It was not the mixing ability. Yeah. Yeah. So he wrote that he chickened out. He wanted to write the verse. Gideop Jingle Bell., stut Joe's kids. His daughter now has a cock. Carl, Carl drinks a frosted tip bleach.
Starting point is 01:37:32 That's the jingle bell rock. Okay, so we got alternate verses. We left that out. I was too offensive. That would be offensive, yeah. All right. I'm not going to play these whole songs, but I just want to refresh everyone's
Starting point is 01:37:45 memory on the tunes that we've listened to and then keep track of the ones you like the best. We'll do a little vote at the end of this. So here are our finalists starting with this one. Ben Hilton coming in with one more thing. I Really can't stand just let me show you this real quick. I gotta go away Look at this fucking prick To be polite I know I could take him I know I could take him in a fight I'll show starts and say all I have to do is
Starting point is 01:38:29 I gotta go under the snow Down on the parade and then streaming for Al This is the guy calling me a coward Don't think I can take any more Excuse me while I open a chorus I can't believe he's a dad in my face So that was a fantastic way Excuse me while I open the So that was a fantastic way. I should mention all of these songs all these submissions I said we're putting together an album. I will have a YouTube video up tomorrow on Christmas Eve, right? That's tomorrow. Yeah. I'll have a YouTube video up with all of these songs
Starting point is 01:39:00 Probably in some type of ranked order So that people can check these out. Maybe we'll be out as well. But Ben Hilton had some good ones. We're putting a poll up somewhere. I thought we'd just vote. I was trying to pick a winner today. Oh yeah. Okay. No problem. Yeah. So this is another one from Ben Hilton. This is little spray steam oh yeah it's all cool down and Rochester winds whipping down and comedy at the Carlson all you hotel's ready for a drunken disgusted slot to stay at your establishment or what? that's not many, that's not many stuchos and trouble out here
Starting point is 01:39:41 well you better use, you better use, shout, you better use, tight. You better use, bleed, John, tellin' you why. John will turn your bet sheets to brown. John will turn your bet sheets to brown. John will turn your bet sheet to bread. I can really. That's it. That's the winner.
Starting point is 01:40:08 That does go on. God, that's a lie. I love the next part of it. I think it is. There's one I love. Yeah, there's a couple of them. There's a couple more really good ones coming up. This one, I had a put in the mix because when we first heard it,
Starting point is 01:40:22 we were blown away. This is from Adam Thoreau. I'm not going to be a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a
Starting point is 01:40:58 little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little to some off. It was a little weird and it was a lot of pitchy spots all over. All right. I mean, he did it. What a good with that. I think a job. So we're all real, uh, setter and John us in there.
Starting point is 01:41:11 All right. This next one comes in from Tony Muscrat, who won the most recent contest that we had on here. This is Drunken Fool. We all know that O.B has putrid skunk far And Zumaq fucks black men a real mud shark But both those losers are getting old So pull up some catch it and breathe in some mold John Melendez the drunken fool. Crap, she eats the wipe his stool.
Starting point is 01:41:48 Sexually aggressive when he's drunk, wiping off his hemorrhoid blood. A stunt, a boy from Howard Stern, a bloated drunk that will never learn. And now he's doxing people too. Cause he's a piece of food. Sometimes he's angry. Sometimes he's horny. Most days he's in coherent. And if you're a woman in Kanoga Park, there might be a disappearance.
Starting point is 01:42:11 John's wearing the best of fucking creed. He doesn't sleep on any sheets. After admitting his hemorrhoid, please, he's not a human being. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Bing! This is a wrap. You guys are being the people's one here at the Doofy bar. For this. Wow! My name's two gay, Echrismus Pal. John's apartment scared off how Bates himself in a shick now eating cans of puppy chow.
Starting point is 01:42:40 The air's a game I like to play. Call John's bomb on Christmas Day. Let's get it! That's not fun. She's the beariest of her son! Sometimes he's fun, sometimes he's fun. He's always fucking disgusting. And when he's sitting at home alone, he doesn't call his kids because they have no relationship
Starting point is 01:42:59 because they're embarrassed by him because he's a locale on the internet and he doesn't pay his mortgage or his child support and he's gay John Malay goes the fucking prick his lifter's brown and full of Lady K is gonna Well, Dodd don't you must cry teing up my two key guys are that's the winner Good That's a good one. I was really good. All right
Starting point is 01:43:36 Yeah, I'll beat that Bruce Frankstein. I know God damn. There's a couple more on here that are really good as well This one comes in from mr. Magenta. I bet it's the winner. Also a past winner on the show. This is a gross stuttering slime. I'm a gross stuttering slime full of beer. Oh my liver is swelling while everyone's yelling so roses is neeeeeeep I'm a drunk bumble-ing swine with no beer I'm the wine whine-y-yes bitch bully of all Yeah, I'm constantly harassed cause all of these podcasts are busting my balls!
Starting point is 01:44:27 I'm the most retarded loser of all! There'll be cause-cans for toasting, revenge point for posting while saying that it's all a joke! There'll be the same old stories from days of my glory. Those unfunny bits long ago When I said Bob a boy a big teeth, that's so funny right? Oh shit, keep change on the grow Slime That is really good. That's the one. That's the one. It's a press.
Starting point is 01:45:07 You're not helping. The, they've been listening for years to know every little thing about John and incorporated into these songs. It's brilliant. I was thinking about that. Like what I want for Christmas, like, you know how you get a, like a toy set of like Breaking Bad, you know, it's got. Oh, yeah, yeah Walter White whatever I want the stuttering John like wherever the fuck he's living now, you know
Starting point is 01:45:31 There's so many things that are now part of it like the fucking cat box the cool Rappy microphone The Peeley House guys, sorry like I cocky 2000 guys. Sorry, I like I cocky 2000 and magic screen. I want to ring Johnson Park. That's what I want for Christmas. John thing would be great. Just little cores cans all over the place. We're giving a root cockroach is playable mattress. The playable mattress. Blood.
Starting point is 01:45:56 Mom sold separately. Yes. You have to find the cats because the cats are always hiding right. You have to find the cats because the cats are always hiding. Right. The one of them is dead. This could be a great board game. What? Yeah, I saw something John accessories. I'm looking for the girlfriend. It's not available on your website. It's in the Niagara Falls region. Yeah, the Canadian girlfriend.
Starting point is 01:46:20 All right. Let's not sleep on this one, guys, because I remember when we first played this, we were all pretty blown away. Leah McIntyne coming in with Musby Stutshell. You know, I think at Howard Potom's top of the house in Florida, he's considered the goat. I'm mom bought me a house in Florida. I guess I'm also the girlfriend next to him
Starting point is 01:46:47 Who calls Calla Ladyk? Jam calls Calla Ladyk? Who drinks 40 B.S.A. Jam drinks 40 B.S.A. Ladyk? B.S.A. Must be Stardew Must be Stardew Must be Stardew
Starting point is 01:46:58 Stardew Tranged John I've wounded already Who takes a ship while going live. John makes his walk on a line. Who has music? Call us white. John has news of call us white.
Starting point is 01:47:10 Ship while like. Call us white. Lady Kate. Ben's the day. Must be Stacho. Must be Stacho. Must be Stacho. Stacho.
Starting point is 01:47:19 Stachring. John. Alright, see you at the chat. And who will make me an college friend? John Payton, college friend. Who's the best at being dead? Aaron Preston. I'm a student.
Starting point is 01:47:31 I'm a student. Aaron Debt. Channel Life, Carlos White, Lady Kate, be it's the day. Must be Stachio. Must be Stachio. Must be Stachio Stachio. Dream Draw.
Starting point is 01:47:42 You know, Carla. That is a fantastic one. Oh yeah. Another key change. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely an animal mentioned then.
Starting point is 01:47:52 One more finalist, this again from Ben Hilton, who killed them this one. This is the Dabbleverse Christmas song. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful.
Starting point is 01:48:12 He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. He starts beautiful. I'm not a man. Back to key NTW. Ready for a legal fight. Residents of an L.A. Shit hole will find it hard to sleep tonight. All right. So those are our finalists. And how do we want to do this? I'm so bad at picking winners. I never have a good way down. You know what? Missy B has a lot of opinions. I'm going to start with Missy B. I like the Mr. Hanky parody one. I don't remember exactly what the title of it was. Yes. That one was drunken fool from Tony Muscrat teaming up with that. Do you want to do like top three?
Starting point is 01:49:28 Yeah, why don't you? Okay, thank you. I knew there's a resigned way to do over here today. Producer Cress, my top three? No, no, let's do top two. Okay. And then we'll score them two points in one points. Two for one, one for two, make this real
Starting point is 01:49:46 confusing. And then a triangle. Two for one. Do. All right. What are you talking about? One, do. All right. Misty, what are you talking about? Two points for Drunken Fool. And then your one point pick is is the spruce spring. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Stachios coming to town. the spruce brings you okay okay Stuchos coming to town. I got to cancel that out by doing the exact opposite. I think just by a little twat here that the Bruce thing, the voice is there. The cadence of Bruce is there. Yeah. It's also a funny angle. The such as coming to town all about being like the hotels have to watch out. Yeah. You know, it's good about that parody too. And this is something I love about good parodies. You hear the title Santa Claus coming to town and you don't instantly know where it's going. Right. Like you try to figure it out. But
Starting point is 01:50:43 then when it comes around turn of the sheets, brown, fucking hilarious because it kind of hits you quick. You didn't figure it out until the line comes in. All I went for Christmas is Cours. I was like, I think I know where he's going with this. Yeah, exactly. Right. But that, that had the surprise in it, the Bruce thing. So I got to go with that one. Totally agree. All right, producer Chris. What do you got? What are your top two? I got those two and I got it in Anthony's order. Okay. So right now, I just want to add, that's also not a bad Bruce impression. It's not. No, I got the cross very nice. No, it's great.
Starting point is 01:51:16 Jerry, what's that you? It's the exact same thing, drunken fool and then stuff shows coming to town. Oh, okay. So you got the missy version. There we go. No, no, no, no. You're given Two points to drunken fool drunken fool. Okay. Yes. That's the missing one way to go. Okay Carl so what's a you lady? Corrin I get to be there. Ha ha ha ha. It's not a tie, right? It is exactly a tie Wow tie, right? It is exactly a tie. Oh, damn it. It's up to you. Because I also, I also, I also love these two songs. All right, they're
Starting point is 01:51:51 both number one. Yeah. So I'm going to both are going to win the prize. But I look at you, but the one that wins, I have to go with Mr. Magenta teaming up with Tuky. Wow. Yeah. I'm sorry guys. Both of them. It was such a huge surprise. Yeah, Tuky. Yeah. It's a South Park song. So I already love it.
Starting point is 01:52:14 I'm not a big Bruce. Yeah. Maybe that's part of it. But, uh, Oh, I hate Bruce, but that's, that's why it was so good. The voice, the way Bruce talks, the way he talks at the beginning of it, this guy had it all. Dude, don't you do that bobo impression of Bruce Springsteen? I think you do that pretty
Starting point is 01:52:31 well, right? Me? Yeah. Don't you, don't you do bobo doing Bruce? I'm pretty sure. I don't think I did that. No, I move it on. Guys, so does that mean that Mr. Magenta does get the most points on that? For drunken fool? No.
Starting point is 01:52:52 Gross stuttering slime. Oh, okay. Wait, what did I say? Did I say drunken fool? Oh, I was reading the wrong one. I'm sorry. Oh, okay. I am sorry.
Starting point is 01:53:00 So the most votes would go to Stucho's coming to town. Oh, it is. Stucho's coming to town. Oh, it is. Stucho's coming to town. Yeah, because that was your second. Ah, yeah, it was. So that made it to every one of our rights. Yeah, so that's what I would judge it by. All right, very good.
Starting point is 01:53:15 We have a winner in Ben Hilton by the way deserves it because he submitted a lot of stuff and they're all really good. So that works out great stuff. Yeah, also if I never hear Bruce Springsteen again, it'll be too soon. I'm sorry, fuck that, I'm with you on that. All right, can't stand him as a musician and as a person. It seems like a real fuck you, lump of shit. When he did that podcast with Barack Obama,
Starting point is 01:53:40 oh, this is gonna be this amazing show. Oh, good Bruce is talking politics and Barack is talking music. We. Yeah, yeah. Isn to be this amazing show. Oh, good Bruce is talking politics and Barack is talking music. We. Yeah, yeah. Isn't that great? Oh, let's go back to feminist stuff, frequency. No, no, no, listen to that.
Starting point is 01:53:53 Ha, ha, ha, ha. Terrible. Well, I think this has been a happy surprise today. I'd love it. Great to see you again. Love being back. Glad you're doing well. Oh, it's a pleasure.
Starting point is 01:54:03 Thank you, Carl. And of course, Chris and Jerry, thank you, Missy, Abie. I. Glad you're doing well. All the way to pleasure. Thank you, Carl, and of course, Chris and Jerry. Thank you, Missy, Abbey. I'll see you at some point. What's happening with the compound media and the Anthony Cumus? Oh, yes, yes. Well, programs are on the... I'm putting a studio together down here.
Starting point is 01:54:16 I'm in South Carolina right now. And as you see, I don't have a mic yet and a few other things that I have to set up and get cameras and whatnot. But once that's done, I will be up and broadcasting the Anthony Kumio Show from down here on Compound Media. So I'm also going to be up in New York at the beginning of January. So I'll do a show or two from the studio up there. Yeah, we're still rolling.
Starting point is 01:54:41 And of course, thank everybody for the support through these most trying times. Yes. Compoundmedia.com is where you want to go to sign up. And I was hanging out with a lot of the compound crew. Was it last weekend? This December's been over. Oh, the content house. But yeah, content house.
Starting point is 01:54:57 Of course, the great Chrissy mayor from the wet spot in hot waters. Gina Biscanti. Drew was there. Oh, I was watching. The booth boy. I was watching you guys do the show and that gay Jesus guy was so annoying. Yes. So annoying.
Starting point is 01:55:13 I could, how they do a show. What's our name? Who's the, So it's Amanda Byron. So it's Amanda Byron. Yeah, Amanda Byron. Yeah, Amanda Byron. Simonisky.
Starting point is 01:55:23 Oh, what a disaster that looks like. Anthony, when they put out that episode, we watched it and it was like, this is the worst I've ever seen. And then she can't sit on her podcast immediately. But then it's back out again. So as all says, she's supposed to drop one yesterday. I'm like, we'll do that for today's show. It hasn't come out yet. So Amanda is pulling pulling a John. I'm just uttering John. She's leaving the time and then coming right back. All right, we'll see what happens. She's a certified mental patient. So playing hard to get there. She's making me water more than I am. Come back. More man divides.
Starting point is 01:55:59 John, you're a figure two from that. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, leave us wanting more,ad it's too much with you All right, well, thank you so much Anthony for coming on great to see you buddy Mary Christmas to you Absolutely, thank you. Yeah, bye guys. See you next time. See you next time Merry Christmas All right, what a fun surprise that was and Perfect timing for Stuntlery,
Starting point is 01:56:25 John getting fucked with. That has a big victory lap return to podcasting. Oh, this is the other thing that happened. I don't have a Topoka dab or today because I was on Uncle Rico two days ago, today Saturday. Okay, two days ago, I was on Uncle Rico, and Cardiff came on too, and we're watching John from his Wednesday show and
Starting point is 01:56:47 John's explaining how lighting works I'm I want to end why you so I know all think about lighting and how this works people are talking about how he looks gray and gross In Florida. He's like, well, there's the thing with lighting So this was this clip was going to be to poke a dab or Cardiff already produced it and then they started playing it out of this show And cards like oh shit. This is the thing I was going to do. So we ended up playing it in prompt two on Uncle Rico and the payoff was amazing. I wish it would have been a game. They stole our thunder because John goes, you know, right now I'm getting light from
Starting point is 01:57:17 from, uh, and then we got a guess what is getting light. So is it the sun? Is it the window? My neighbor. So is it the sun? Is it the window? My neighbor. The turned out, I thought this was the joke answer. He said clouds.
Starting point is 01:57:31 So where did it go, Johnny goes, oh, get away from you clouds. I was, my thought, my first thought was, you know those flatter, there's crazy theories about shit. Average substitute teacher. You're right, there's, yeah, he's a science teacher, let's not forget. Average substitute teacher. Hey, you're all right. There's, yeah, you like the science teacher.
Starting point is 01:57:45 Let's not forget. But I was wondering if like, that's like one of those flatter theories, because you know, the sun's only 5,000 miles away or never in their world. So it can't be that hot. So maybe like actually come from clouds. And I don't know, you have to wrap your mind around that a few times to figure that out.
Starting point is 01:58:01 But yeah, when there's zero clouds, it's completely dark out. Anyway, so we missed that because of that, but either way, very funny. And John never ceases to amaze, even me, a guy who's a veteran listening to Suthering John's drunken rants and still I'm surprised when he's that stupid. All right, let's hit some voicemails and get out of here. You got a minute, Jerry. You want to hear some voicemails? Yeah, it's here. All right, starting with Ronnie and Sarah Cuse. Hey, Carl Ronnie and Sarah Cuse, I wanted to call about the last two episodes from the compound,
Starting point is 01:58:38 the content house that I'm going to take care of. Okay. Um, that first one got a lot of hate on Facebook. I saw them post. I thought it was good I like having through on there and Gino and Kiano had a terrible question between this I think I was so excited I like having through and the only thing I will say is you know you you would not have to be with Gino at the end using that afterwards for a day do they have Verizon or AT&T and Syracuse I I'm guessing they don't. Well, hopefully he's on the road driving out of Syracuse. All right, I'm pushing through here. I'm catching some of this.
Starting point is 01:59:12 Isn't that how you make calls Carly to keep the phone on your lap? You guys always say the drop of Tony soprano using that same word. He's up in. So, you know, something's not right there. But anyway, he's the same problem. Yeah, that's the one. See, the thing about when Tony soprano Says it is not very open by a bit of a guy. We're not supposed to think like yeah, Tony go get that Guy who's actually closet a gay like that's not the point. Yeah, it's a character You're your quality is so bad
Starting point is 01:59:42 character The audio quality was so bad. I wouldn't go there I You gotta do better man if you would have had Chris running episode from home It would have been better than that crap. I got to say that thing was horrendous the audio quality was sunk and it was just Said point double point. It was just a p-apco. Yeah, anyway, thanks Carl. Don't be later Yeah, point double point was a problem because, uh, everyone was screaming downstairs from us for me. Anyway, from when I was doing the show, uh, what is, what is Tony Muskrat saying? I won last time to no big deal, but I think Chris got his math wrong. I think Drunken Fool did win,
Starting point is 02:00:21 but either way, Congrats Ben Hilton. I know, I honestly, Tony, I think you guys are both the winners of this, so you'll both get price packages. And I do still owe you for the last one. Manny Musket says reviews. You know what, we don't have a review girl today. Hannah is going to come back, she says. But then every time I say, all right, well, then come back.
Starting point is 02:00:43 And then she's busy. So no reviews today. Why manage you put something ridiculous on our reviews? So I was going also, man, he sent me a note that he's got episode two of the man pad out. I didn't get a chance to Get around to that yet, but I will. I'm looking forward to it. I'm looking I see that the chemistry is getting better between you two and I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes on that show. Keep it going, buddy. Keep up the keep up the shop talk. Also, man, there's a lot of questions about your accent. And I want to know if you are from autism or whatever people are saying. Yeah. So let me know. I forgot about that. So let me know. Hey, people are saying when you went on the Drew and Mike podcast,
Starting point is 02:01:28 right before Christmas, the last of the year, that when you told Drew that you have to prep yourself for the podcast, people are saying, I mean, that you like to use an animal and do shut your asshole and clean it out, because you never know what kind of action can happen. You know, it's a content house. You don't know. You might get fucking murdered, you know, like, what's the name? We'll Smith. But anyways, I know you're probably a top, but hey, you might have some fun being a bottomer here. Anyways, take care of your fuck face. All right. So you heard the word prep and then thought AIDS medication grow up. Circus. You say, Enema, because anything could happen, like getting murdered? Well, you don't want shit in your ass when you're murdered. No, you say enema because anything could happen like getting murdered. Well, you
Starting point is 02:02:06 don't want shit in your ass when you're murdered. No, no, no, God forbid. The reference, it's from the Drew and Mike show. The reference is the guy who came out and said that he caught Will Smith getting fucked in the ass said, and this dude is murdering. Yeah, which is funny. So, Carl, I agree when the Amanda Bines show in Paul says, you know, I went to Montreal and she's from Vancouver like they're fucking close together. I'm fucking annoying. But I think the most annoying part about that is that he says the only time I've ever been
Starting point is 02:02:48 abroad. Now I know technically speaking, going to another country can be called going to be gone going abroad. But primarily going abroad means you travel over a fucking ocean. You don't travel over a fucking ocean. You don't travel over a fucking ocean to go to Montreal. And when you live in the Detroit area, and you hear somebody say that they went abroad,
Starting point is 02:03:15 and then they revealed to you that they went to fucking Canada, it's a bit disappointing, because here in Detroit, it's going across a fucking river. It's not fucking door. It's not abroad. It's a problem that affects millions of people. It's a good point because he did say the only time that I've been abroad, fun fact about me.
Starting point is 02:03:40 The only time I've been abroad, it's Montreal. And I looked it up and And it says, if you go abroad, you do go to a foreign country, usually one, which is separated from the country where you live by an ocean or a sea. So I think he's right about that. I don't think anybody says, oh, I'm going to be abroad this weekend. Where are you going? Toronto. I don't think so. Right. Guys are looking at me. Symantex. But if you talk like that, you're a douchebag. Agreed. Yes.
Starting point is 02:04:06 All right, Trucker Andy calling into the show. Hey, Carl. This is Trucker Andy. This is how I call. I don't like Trump. Stuttering John's a fucking idiot. And this is how I talk Carl. Fuck you.
Starting point is 02:04:18 My name is Trucker Andy. All right, Andy. Thanks for calling in, buddy. See you again on Wednesday. I got to figure out what we're doing. Our category is gonna be on Wednesday. More homework. Yeah, but it's one way to win if you announce it an hour before the show. That's a good idea. That's a good point. Speaking of prep. No, I just find this is the way you do it. This is what Vinny does to me on the creep off.
Starting point is 02:04:41 Find a terrible podcast and whatever category it's in. Yeah, good luck guys. Here you go. Vinny does that shit to me on the creep off. Find a terrible podcast and whatever category it's in. Yeah, good luck, guys. Here you go. But he does that shit to me all the time. Hey, this week you want to do worse first from New Jersey? Sure. Okay, bye guys, Bullock. Hi.
Starting point is 02:04:54 Hs Andy. Call it in. What's up, girl? It's the Hs Andy once again. I was just calling to ask you, what the fuck happened to cripple Jesus dude? We gotta want the guy back. You can quit being a fucking prick and finally answer the goddamn question. That'd be great. Thank you, girl. Fuck you. Please don't fucking. Jesus is doing great. He's no longer living
Starting point is 02:05:19 his online persona life, but he's doing fantastic. And I hope we cross paths again sometime. He doesn't roll over my toes. Speaking of retiring from this universe, it was nice to have Tab back. Yeah. He says he's been enjoying a serene lifestyle away from all this. Right.
Starting point is 02:05:40 So to come back for WOTP is flattering. And he's great. I agree with you on that. Also, is it that much better to leave this world? Come on, yeah. Come on. I always think I want a nice peaceful night at home and then I see that Stuttering John dropped a show
Starting point is 02:05:52 on my house. Well, I got to do it. I'm obligated. It was great. C. Carl Dary and San Diego, well, just an FYI, we had moved to Rancho Bernardo about two years ago. Sure. And we moved our, at a 1928 baby Steinway Grand piano. And it costs us to do that about $2,200 to move the piano. So that's an
Starting point is 02:06:35 expensive piano, not a piece of junk. But we had it moved by Shaper Piano Movers a shaper piano movers company $2,200. Anyway, that's the story. Out, rock and roll. All right, so in a very Gary way, he brings up a good point. There are companies that move pianos, not just normal movers. Maybe Andy brought that up on the show
Starting point is 02:07:03 when we were talking about it. I'll piss off like, didn't treat my piano rights. And we're not the people to move a piano. They move you hall boxes. What do you expect? Yeah, they pick things up and put them down. I love Gary's voice mails. I don't know if he's just thinking it up off the fly or he actually wrote it down. He's just struggling to read it.
Starting point is 02:07:19 Yeah, there's something to that. I don't think he writes it down because would you write down the same sentence three or four times in a single way? He might. He might. Maybe. It's possible. Someone in someone did some fact check and force alleged. K gene and YouTube. The piano was left by the couple that he bought the house from he didn't even buy it Oh my god, so he was talking about this piano has been in every house he's ever owned That'd be like me bringing this pool table Exactly So stupid and if you did that that fucking booth felt you might do it
Starting point is 02:08:06 So he got a free piano with the house and he's just like, well, I can't give up a free piano. It's got fingerprints on it. I must be worth a lot of money. I was wondering why would he buy a piano? Like, is it even a grand piano? Like, not anymore. He wouldn't have, what's it a grand? He, uh, he would have mentioned it at once. Of course. Of course. It's like some shitty piano.
Starting point is 02:08:24 With a couple's handprints on it. Oh, God. Maybe they were murdered. And blood. It's haunted. It's haunted. It's career. It only plays music badly. Oh yeah, love it. When you're doing John. All right. Two of course, two course to drink as one, two of course, I drink you, I drink you. I know that works quite as well, but I appreciate the effort. Hey Carl, it's brand different. Look, I know we all like to troll John. It's funny. Well, I'll have a laugh at Johnny's a drunken retard. Sure. Yeah. But like, I'm scared to know. Oh, there's more. We do like a couple of people just like on Christmas night, maybe like, I don't know, two, three in the morning, call John's mom, just make sure she's not getting trolled.
Starting point is 02:09:20 Yeah. You know, it's really hard to listen to John talking about it. I don't get the corner. Mother or stuff. We just get a couple of people to make sure she's not getting messed with in the middle of the night. That would be great. Every five minutes talking about it. This is blood. Is someone trolling you right now?
Starting point is 02:09:35 Let me know. Okay. But let me know if they are. You know what? Never mind. I'll call you back and find out. And it is your fridge running. I got you.
Starting point is 02:09:43 This other set of W-A-T-P is brought to you by Carl's for Austin Tips. For Austin Tips. They're gay. Show them the logo. Pretty close. That is. Was that your voice, man? That was not my voice, man.
Starting point is 02:09:59 See the line, Bart? They're gray. Cut. All right. See the line Bart there gray Cut All right, I nailed it One take Carl All right Lucy tight back his boyfriend coming to the show Come on Hey Carl Hello, photographer
Starting point is 02:10:17 I'm hearing band practice guy trying to move in on my woman And I think it's only one way that we can solve this. Yeah, W-A-T-P That's for style. We guess a, your whole reality show, your media empire will continue to expand. Call it back. It's not a bad idea. That's pretty funny. Who else wants out of this, Jerry? I'll go.
Starting point is 02:10:37 All right. We got three contestants already. The answers are... Dancing. Oh, this is funny. So this is something different for Gary he's doing his Karnak the magnificent oh good fresh it here okay I have it the answers are
Starting point is 02:10:56 daffi Jerry fallwell junior John Edward Melendez okay I'm going to open the envelope and it's name a duck, name a cuck, and name a schmuck. Rock and roll. Rock and roll. A great voice malgary thank you. One more on here. I love your foster tips. I love everybody except Andy because he made me listen to Tricia Pettis. Yeah, but I really do love always you guys over there and then shows the ones like the blind Mike the one with that fat guy, the Christian fat, insane, yeah, it's
Starting point is 02:11:50 fucking really cool man, all that shit you're doing. Man, I love it. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Do you guys, or have to holiday, Merry holidays, whatever, whatever is like correct, say that with a, Merry Christmas is fine sir, thank you. the Mary holidays, whatever, whatever is like correct. The same other days. America's was as fine, sir. Thank you. You make my life so bright.
Starting point is 02:12:11 Good year. That's my whole goal. So I'm glad to hear that a fan of W H E B. Callin' into the show. We do appreciate that. Yeah. So Andy's pick very controversial mental health podcast that we did. Oh
Starting point is 02:12:30 with Trisha. Yeah, so he's in the lead. Mm-hmm But it wasn't a podcast. Yeah, he got some heat in the yeah, it was good. Yeah, all those places. Good. Does Andy know what a podcast? Yeah, do you want me to just do the news? Yeah, all those places does Andy know what a podcast. Yeah, do you want me to just do the news? What the fuck with that it's I don't know we might have to talk about that. I want to say and figure out if he deserves the W or not From patreon Brian Vavaro asks does Andy know what a podcast is? Also the long island slander is worse than all the other offensive stuff you guys have said over the years. Oh, yeah, that got to him. Uh oh, retard alert.
Starting point is 02:13:17 Retard alert class. All right, very good. Jerry, thanks for coming by by anything you want to plug no, I'm all set. Okay, very good. Thanks Okay, okay, folks Guess what? I got it go goodbye Good bye. That was a great episode. That was really great Okay Good boy. That was a great episode. That was really great. Who's stupid fucking blah blah blah blah. Okay, folks. Yes.
Starting point is 02:13:49 I heard you play that. Mani, again, no reviews this week. Mani, what? What? What are you looking for? What do you want from me? If you gave us a review, we'll get caught up. I promise you. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrr

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